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simpsiren · 4 years

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closer to you

lee jeno x reader

main masterlist

the sequel

description. you’re in a 2 year relationship with jaemin. the two of you know very well that you arent each other’s soulmates but you still felt that jaemin was the right one for you. that is until you are celebrating your 2 year anniversary with jaemin that memories of you being with someone else in your so called “past life” starts coming back to you, as if wanting to make you realise that your soulmate is still out there.

genre. soulmate au, strangers to lovers au, fluff and angst

warnings. none? except for the fact that reader becomes violent in their words when they’re stressed i guess

a/n. literally got this idea from the flashback tiktoks thats been appearing in my fyp. like ive seen it so many times that i just had to write about it HAHA alrighty thats all enjoyy :D

when the idea of soulmates was first represented to humans, humans deeply believed in it, and would follow the idea of it religiously to find the one that they are truly meant to be with. however, now in the modern day, the idea of soulmates is slowly disappearing. people still believe that the number engraved on the side of their right foot is the time and date that they’ll meet their soulmates, but people of this generation start ignoring that fact, marrying someone that isnt even their soulmate. it left their actual soulmate to either die alone, or having to force themselves to love and marry someone else other than their soulmate.

and now here you are, surrounded by your friends with jaemin sitting next to you, your boyfriend of two years who’s number on the side of his foot does not match yours.

“blow out the candles already!” you hear johnny screaming. you and jaemin turn to look at each other at the same time, giving a smile before blowing out the two candles on the red velvet cheesecake that signified your two year relationship with jaemin.

you laugh loudly as everyone claps for the two of you. jaemin quickly places a peck on your cheek, making everyone smile widely. “i love you.” jaemin whispers into your ear.

“i love you too.”

“do you really not care who your actually soulmate is? you know very well jaemin isnt yours.” you purse your lips into a thin line as you find jaehyun leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom.

“does it look like i care? who the hell even cares? ill be with who i wanna be! i aint gonna follow some ‘oh you’re destined to be with this guy’ type bullshit.” you giggle to yourself as you took a sip the whiskey in hand, despite already being in a very drunken state.

jaehyun walks over to you and snatches the glass away from you. you whine and beg for it back, but you know all too well that jaehyun is not going to give you what you want. you let out a huff in response.

“my god, evaline. how drunk can you be?” jaehyun takes a seat on the chair that faces your bed, in which you are currently rolling on and mumbling to yourself about god knows what.

jaehyun sighs as he looks at you. he’s been your friend for almost forever yet he still cant get over the fact that no matter how hard he tries to persuade you that jaemin isnt your soulmate, you give zero fucks about it.

“i really hope he comes in your dreams or something. if i can’t convince you, then why isnt the world doing anything about it?” jaehyun whispers to himself, resting his chin on his palm as his elbow is placed on the arm rest of the chair.

you wake up with a sharp pain in your head. you wince as you slowly tried to sit up straight. you rub your eyes and try looking around your room. everything is normal, except for the fact that jaehyun is sleeping on your chair. you shrug your shoulders as you let out a long sigh and stare at the door in front of you, spacing out for a little. after at least five minutes of you doing nothing and staring off into who knows what, you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed. you stagger your way over to jaehyun.

“jae, wake up already. make me something to sober up- ouch!”

your foot suddenly hurt, making you stumble back and fall onto the floor. you flinched in fear when you realise the number on your foot is glowing. you scream in pain as you feel as though something thin and sharp is constantly stabbing your foot. the spinning in your head only made it worse. jaehyun wakes up from all your screaming and drops down on the floor to assist you quickly.

“evaline? eva! what’s wrong? wait why’s it glowing..” jaehyun eyes travel from your scrunched up face to your leg, noticing the number that’s glowing.

suddenly, your vision became blurry. you lost sight of what’s happening around you. you dont see your room and jaehyun in front of you anymore. you struggled as you try to squint your eyes to get your vision to be clear. it took awhile for your vision to come back. and when it did, something wasnt right.

it was like you were having a flashback. a flashback to a time you were unfamiliar with. you didn’t remember experiencing it at all. but the flasback looked like memories that you feel a sudden strong connection with.

the flashback was vivid. you couldn’t tell exactly what was going on. you saw a guy, estimated to be around your age, who’s smiling widely till his eyes form a thin line and holding up a polaroid camera to your point of view. you heard him laugh as snaps a picture and the camera’s flash shined your view. you soon focused your vision again onto the guy. he’s waiting for the film to develop. and that’s all you saw. a small snippet of a far distant memory which you arent even sure if it happened.

after that, you snapped out of your odd trance. you feel jaehyun shaking your shoulders with the look of extreme concern on your face. you bring your hand up to your head and scratch it slowly as you tilt your head in awe. jaehyun stops his actions as looks at you wierdly.

“what the fuck did i just experience?” you mumble to yourself, trying to process what you just went through. you look up from the floor to see jaehyun blinking his eyes rapidly.

“you saw what?”

you were this close to slapping jaehyun in the face.

“how many times do i have to fucking repeat myself?! i got a flashback of a memory of some random dude that i dont even know about!”

jaehyun’s mouth remains open in shock and confusion. it took him a few seconds to process your words. and when it did, he places both his hands on the table.

“its a sign.” your forehead creases as you look at him weirdly.

“the fuck you just say?” you pick up your fork and stab it into your freshly cooked fried chicken meal.

“is this the first time you experience it?” jaehyun asks you as he takes a sip of water. you took a moment to think about it.

“yeah it is.” you breathe out. jaehyun only nodded his head. he starts thinking about what he wished for that night had something to do with what happened to you.

“you know what? forget it. i need to meet up with jaemin for our date. ill see you around.” you finish what’s left on your plate, waving to jaehyun before leaving the restaurant.

jaehyun watches your back as you slowly disappear into the distance. “it cant be... can it?” jaehyun shakes his head and continues eating.

“hey, babe. how was lunch with jaehyun?” jaemin wraps his arm around your waist as he leans down to peck your lips.

“it was good. let’s get ice cream.” you give off a wide smile and dragged jaemin to the famous ice cream shop that you were dying to try.

by the time you were halfway to finishing your ice cream, it was already 8pm. you’re weekly ice cream date with jaemin never fails to be extended as your chats with him grow longer and longer with every date.

as jaemin was talking, your mind goes back to the time you had that odd flashback. you wonder what it meant, or whats the significance of it. why did that suddenly happen to you? what can you do to make it go away? because for all you know, you have everything you need right here, in front of you. you had jaemin.

“eva? hello~?” jaemin waves his hand in front of you to snap you back into reality. you shake your head vigorously. “oh shit im sorry jaemin what did you say?” jaemin smiles softly as he repeats over what he say.

it was about 10pm and you decided it was finally time to go home. you would have taken the train alone but jaemin insisted on accompanying you home and going back by himself after. you and jaemin were walking down the street that will lead to your apartment when jaemin sudden opens his mouth to ask you something.

“did you ever believe about the soulmate thing?” you stop walking and turn your body to face jaemin. jaemin does the same, shoving his hands in his pockets.

you shrug your shoulder and placed your weight on one leg. “i used to, but i slowly started to think it was ridiculous and that i should be able to love who i want, not someone im destined to be with.” you reply, slowly reaching your hand out to run your hand through jaemin’s hair. he smiles at your touch and pulls you in with your other arm, hugging you gently.

“im glad to be the one that you love, despite the fact that im not who you’re destined to be with.” jaemin strokes your hair and digs his head into the crook of your neck. you rub his back slowly. “me too.” you kiss jaemin on the cheek and pull away, smiling softly. “come on, we’re almost at my apartment.” your hands trailed down to meet jaemin’s, interlocking your fingers with his and you both continued walking down the long street.

however, for the first time, it felt as though jaemin’s hand didn’t sit right with yours, like his hand didnt belong to fit in yours. you look down at the interlocking hands. you never felt this way before. why did it occur to you only now?

“something on your mind, eva?” you hear jaemin ask. you shot your gaze up from your jaemin’s hand to his eyes, shaking your head as you faked a smile.

weird

a week has passed since that weird encounter of yours. you couldn’t get it out of your head. every hour of the day you’ll spare a few minutes thinking about it. why did you feel so connected to it? you felt eager to know about what i meant. why did a few seconds of experiencing a distant memory would be etched into your mind as you constantly replay what you saw that time?

you found it funny how you were already so deep in your thoughts early in the morning. you lay in bed looking through your social medias for awhile before getting out of bed to head to the living room.

you see jaehyun sitting on the couch, immensely concentrated on whatever’s on the television screen. you take a seat beside jaehyun, looking down, you see him munching on a bowl of popcorn.

“popcorn for breakfast. really?” you raise an eyebrow as jaehyun nods his head and offers the bowl. you take it regardless of your comment and stuffed popcorn in your mouth.

“you didn’t shower yet?” jaehyun asks. you only shrug in reply. jaehyun looks at you with a disguested look.

“i bet you didn’t shower either, now did you?” jaehyun kept quiet as his eyes widened yet still glued onto the screem. you observed his reaction and scoff, rolling your eyes. “idiot.” jaehyun glances at you and chukles, reaching out to take a handful of popcorn.

“what are you even watching?”

“a movie that i didn’t finish last night.” that explains the popcorn then.

you focus your mind on the movie, despite not knowing what it’s about. everything seemed normal until you see a couple suddenly come on screen. they’re apparently at a amusement park.

almost instantly, you lost sight of your surroundings. oh no.. it’s happening again. you shut your eyes tightly as your vision became blurry once again. you opened your eyes widely to find yourself at an amusement park. a flashback is now occuring, this time it was different.

the flashback. it wasnt a memory you’re unfamiliar with. its jaemin. you see jaemin come into view. it looked like you were taken back to your third date where jaemin brought you to an amusement park. you see him running in front of you happily. jaemin was about to turn around, and you remembered that exactly after that he smiled at you. but he doesn’t. you realise that its not even jaemin.

the one you’re seeing now is the guy from your previous flashback. the polaroid guy. he smiled the exact same way he did when he took the picture of you in the flashback. the guy reaches out to take your hand and you’re being pulled towards him. why does it feel like you’ve seen him somewhere? or maybe you haven’t, but feel like you would some time in the future.

“eva? god, evaline! wake up please!” you hear jaehyun’s voice.

“did it happened agai-“

“it happened again.”

you look around. everything was back to normal. you look at jaehyun. but his eyes were fixated on your foot, he looks shocked. you slowly tilt your head down to look at the number on your right foot. it changed. the number.. reshuffled themselves?

“you’re seeing that too right..?”

you nod your head slowly. its getting more weird. the number on your foot said that you’ll meet your “soulmate” on february 12th, 2020 at 7:06pm. but now, it changed itself to become december 6th, 2020 at 2:19am.

basically it went from 12.02.2020 19:06 to 06.12.2020 02:19

“did i space out again?” you look up at jaehyun as he nod slowly, still looking at your foot in shock. you couldn’t blame him. what happen? did it somehow extended the time you’re about to meet your soulmate? why did it happen? what does it mean?

you told jaehyun what happen. and he almost fainted. you let out a long sigh.

“im telling you its a sign. probably the guy you’re seeing is your soulmate.” jaehyun says lazily and he muched on some strawberry pocky.

“then why was jaemin in the flashback too? isnt it weird?” jaehyun nods his head quickly. he puts down the pack of pocky on his lap and blinks a couple of times. you see the gears turning in his head as you assume that he’s trying to come up with an explanation.

“maybe jaemin’s tied to the guy? like maybe jaemin knows him. or the dude’s from your past life and somehow jaemin is representing the guy in your present life.” jaehyun looks down to see his pocky was stolen from you. you nod your head and you continuously stuffed each stick into your mouth and eating them. “urgh i dont fucking know what to do about this!” you groan in frustration. suddenly, something hits you.

“wait. what’s today’s date?”

jaehyun lifts his phone up to check. “30th november. why?” jaehyun asks. “oh wait.”

“you’re telling me i have a full week until i meet my so called soulmate that i dont even know where ill meet him?!”

you scoff in disbelief. jaehyun doesnt respond, only staring at your face like he’s seen a ghost.

“can i somehow break someone’s neck and slam it on the wall for like i dont know, 5 hours?!”

no reply from jaehyun once again.

“oh for fuck’s sake i cant do this! im heading to johnny’s tea shop for my depression tea. meet me there if you want, i’ll probably be there the whole day as my head constantly spins.”

you quickly got up from the couch and get ready. jaehyun sees you coming out of your room with a hoodie and plain wide legged jeans. you only grab your phone and keys and waved jaehyun goodbye before leaving the apartment. jaehyun sighs.

“i might have set her temper circuit short.” jaehyun whispers to himself and sighs, getting off the couch as well to head over to johnny’s tea shop. “literally could have drove her there but oh well.”

when you enter the shop, johnny face lit up with a huge smile. he runs over to hug you but his smile soon fades away and into a confused look when he sees how pissed you look.

“that’s very... interesting.” johnny comments. you sigh and nod, fiddling with the teaspoon in your drink. “yeah well its not going to be fun once jaemin knows.” johnny stops in his actions and looks up at you. your eyes glanced at johnny before tilting your head up from the drink that wrapped around your hands.

“yes i haven’t told jaemin. i didn’t think it meant anything at first but now...”

“you have to tell him! soon! its a sign!” johnny exclaims. you smacked your hand onto your forehead lightly. “i’ve heard that phrase countless of times by jaehyun and now you too? can you please explain?” you whine, scratching your head vigorously as you argrily take a sip of tea.

you were stressed, very stressed. life was going so well until this happened. you dont know who the mystery guy is. you dont know why he’s “memories” with you suddenly come back, especially when you’re in a really intimate relationship with jaemin. the same question keeps repeating in your head over and over each day and it gets more stressful when you try to think of an answer for them.

“no no listen. it happened to my relative. she was 3 months away from marrying her boyfriend who’s number doesnt match hers. and then she started getting weird flashbacks and she said that the number on her foot changed so that she wouldn’t miss a chance to meet her soulmate in the future instead of the past. and the so called memories? they’re memories that you’ll make with your soulmate once you meet them. the world is trying to make you realise that the guy in your flashbacks is your soulmate and not jaemin.”

you kept silent. so what jaehyun said was right. it was a sign to encourage you to find your real soulmate instead of settling for the one you arent meant to be with. you let out a sigh of relief as you finally know the background information to your whole situation.

“that’s a lot to take in.. how am i suppose to tell jaemin?” you frown as you look out the window. you love jaemin, very much. but to be honest, for the whole 2 years of your relationship with him, everything felt perfect, yet something was off. you never managed to pin point what, until now.

“oh i texted him just now when you were talking to me and he’s coming since he wants to see you.” great. you arent mentally prepared to tell jaemin yet and he’s going to arrive here in 15 minutes.

“evaline! johnny texted me saying you were here and i immediately rushed over.” jaemin comes up from behind and kisses your cheek. you purse your lips into a thin line and you look to johnny leaving his seat. he nods his head, in a way to give you confidence to tell jaemin about the whole ordeal.

“jaemin.. i have to tell you something.” when jaemin takes the seat where johnny sat, you reach your hand out to grab his, slowly soothing your thumb over his skin. “mhm yeah what?” you look up from his hand to his face.

“ive been getting um.. signs lately. flashbacks. jaehyun told me that the guy, who’s always the main subject of my flashbacks could be my soulmate. and i might be meeting him soon, on 6th december.” you whisper to him, biting your lip.

jaemin swallows his own saliva, blinking at you a few times as he tries to process what you said. he lets out a long sigh and painfully puts on a soft smile.

“i knew it was going to happen to one of us sooner. ive heard about the flashbacks. its bound to happen sooner or later.” you nod your head in response.

“im sorry, jaemin. i love you very much-“

“its fine. i understand. im glad the world made you realise that you’re soulmate is still wondering around somewhere, and that it isnt me. im happy i got to spend 2 years loving you.. it made me feel good.” you interlocked your fingers with his, smiling softly before letting go.

you could tell jaemin was hurt. like a knife was stabbed into his heart. you see it behind his smile, his eyes. you knew him all too well.

“we’ll still be friends. and i hope you’re soulmate will come to you.”

jaemin only nods. you lean in and give one last passionate kiss on the cheek before hearing the bell above the door ringing, and noticing that jaehyun has arrived.

december 3rd, 2020. you’re three days away to meeting your soulmate. where? you werent sure.

“good morning, evaline.” you hear jaehyun say. you just got out of bed and you were walking to the kitchen when you see what jaehyun was doing. he’s reading a book. your vision went blank.

its another flashback. you start to mentally prepare yourself as yoh want to absorb as much information as possible on your soulmate in the small portion of the memories.

“the book’s is interesting.” you’re hearing your soulmates voice. you try to figure out if you’ve heard it or not, but shake it out of your head when yoh remember your goal of gathering information. you registered the tone of his voice.

he’s sitting on a bed with round gold glasses on, in his pajamas.

your soulmate laughs. the same way he did the first time. he turns the book to you and it showed his phone betweem the pages of the book, resting there. “just joking!” you hear him say. you take a look at the wallpaper of your soulmate’s lockscreen. it was a picture of him kissing your cheek. it looked oddly the same as the picture you and jaemin once took together. however, there was a text above the picture. evaline heather and lee jeno

lee jeno. that’s the name of your soulmate.

december 5th, 2020. you’re starting to mentally prepare yourself. you dont know where you’re about to meet him. you tried coming up with all possibilities. to be frank, you were more excited about whether the places you thought of might be the place you meet your soulmate rather than being nervous.

the three flashbacks you had. it felt all too familiar. like you’ve known this lee jeno person forever. you feel the connection each time.

when the clock strikes 12am, your mind unknowingly decides to go to the park. the park where you and jaemin first met. you dont know why. it felt like your body was urging you to go there. you lazily got ready and headed out the door, of course you told jaehyun about your outing before leaving the apartment.

you had your hands shoved into your pockets with your hoodie on as you yawned. you breathed in the night air, admiring it dearly. when you reached the park, a quick glance at your phone told you that its 2am. you sigh and took a seat on the bench mindlessly after walking around the park.

you sat there for a few minutes, looking up into the sky and staring off into the distance. suddenly, you felt a presence next to you. you turn your head over to see a guy.

“you seemed pretty lonely so i brought ice cream-“

that voice.

“what’s your name?” you interrupt

the guy pauses and smiles. his face, his smile. its just like the one in your flashback.

“lee jeno. you?”

you didn’t reply. its him. he’s your soulmate, he’s here.

“why does it feel like ive known you for a very long time..?” you slowly started to ask as your eyes looked at him up and down.

jeno chuckles. “maybe..” you see jeno taking off his slipper on his right foot and lifting up his foot. you see the exact number that’s engraved on your foot.

“im your soulmate.”

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,” “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue. Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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71tenseventeen · 5 years

Text

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-8

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.

Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.

They meet at a quiet pizza place at Sid’s suggestion.

As soon as Sid sees Geno on the sidewalk he realizes it was a mistake. He already has people stopping him and Sid can see the stress lines around his eyes as he glances up and back to the people around him.

Sid has no idea what the protocol is but he suspects it’s better if he stays out of all of that so he tips his head toward the door of the restaurant and ducks in, grabbing them a table in the corner of the dark, quiet dining room.

It takes another ten minutes before Geno finally ducks into the restaurant looking very harried but at least he’s alone. He immediately spots and heads for Sid, carefully avoiding eye contact with the handful of other patrons. He gets stopped anyhow and politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with a family of four before he finally makes it to the table looking more than a little stressed.

“Sorry, Sid. I was hoping since it Tuesday afternoon would maybe not be such a big problem.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have known. Next time we’ll figure something else out, okay?”

Geno nods, looking very grateful.

“So…” they both start after an awkward moment and it breaks the tension. Sid gives a quiet laugh and Geno’s face softens.

Sid thinks maybe, finally, they can relax.

Of course that’s when a waiter arrives at their table and starts his welcome spiel before stopping completely and exclaiming, “Whoa! Geno! Hey man!”

“Hello,” Geno says cordially, but Sid can see the lines forming around his eyes again.

The waiter, “Braden,” he informs them as he shakes Geno’s hand and ignores Sid completely, is grinning ear to ear and turns long enough to call in the general direction of the kitchens. “Yo, Frank! You gotta get out here! We got Geno Malkin in the house!”

Sid sees Geno slump in defeat and sits quietly as he politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with what must be every staff member there… and a couple of construction workers who hadn’t bugged him when he came in. As far as get-togethers go, this is a disaster.

Geno finally asks Braden to please give them a minute with the menu and turns to Sid with a pinched expression, talking low and fast. “Sid, okay if we get food to go? I take us somewhere private to eat and talk. Don’t think this going to work.” He says it like he’s asking permission and Sid feels terrible.

“Yeah, of course.”

That’s all it takes for Geno to motion Braden back over.

It takes another twenty five minutes before they’re actually leaving the restaurant with bags of food and a pizza, Geno having left a generous tip.

He pulls his hat down over his eyes and seems to be trying to hunch in on himself even though there was no way someone that big is going to be able to hide. Sid follows quietly and they make it to Geno’s car with only a couple of people stopping him. As soon as Geno slides into the driver’s seat, he drops his head back and lets out a deep breath.

“Really sorry, Sid.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for suggesting this place.”

“Not be sorry. Let’s just go eat. Hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Geno turns to him with furrowed brows. “You ok? Need to eat and drink now?”

“No, I can wait. I feel okay.”

Geno’s face relaxes a little then and he nods. “Okay.”

He takes them to the arena. It’s the last place Sid expected to find himself but it makes sense. When they go in, no one does anything more than give him a wave. Certainly no one seems concerned that he’s toting a bunch of takeout bags and has a stranger trailing along beside him.

And that’s how Sid finds himself eating pasta and pizza in the Penguins’ team kitchen.

It’s Sid’s turn to be jumpy, glancing nervously at the door every few seconds until Geno explains, “No practice here today. Not expect anyone around or I take us to private conference room.”

Sid breathes out in relief. “Okay.”

“So—” they both start again and Geno laughs.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as Sid feared.

Geno is enthusiastic about any mention of the baby and wants to know all about Sid’s appointments with the ‘baby doctor.’ He listens to every tiny detail—from the baby’s heart rate to Sid’s blood pressure—with rapt attention and asks what seems like a hundred questions.

Sid doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have a conversation about the pregnancy that isn’t revolving around what a crisis it is.

He likes how easy it is to talk once they’re relaxed, that Geno actually takes interest in his life. He isn’t just asking questions to have something to talk about—he genuinely listens to Sid’s answers and asks more questions, seeming to want to know everything he can.

He asks about Sid’s studies at the university and Sid spends several minutes talking about the courses he plans to take and his plan to teach someday. In turn, Sid asks him about hockey and they spend a good half an hour talking about the upcoming season. Geno seems pleasantly surprised at Sid’s interest and knowledge.

From there the conversation turns back to the pregnancy and Geno asks if Sid has talked to his family in the last couple of days. “For a few minutes last night. I told them I told you about the baby.”

Geno fiddles with the edge of his cup. “They know is me?”

“No. I didn’t tell them that much.”

“What they say when you tell them I know?”

Sid shrugs. “Not much. My parents are still hoping I’ll change my mind, I guess. But my sister is happy.”

“Glad you have her, at least. Hope your parents come around.”

“What, um, what about your parents? Did you, um, tell them about…?” Sid glances down at his midsection.

“I not tell them yet, no.”

“Oh. Right.” Sid’s not sure what he expected and he works hard to push back the pang that’s threatening to bubble up inside him

“Going to tell them, Sid.”

“You don’t have to.”

Geno frowns. “Not keep something like this secret from them. Is just hard, try to figure out how to say. Worry how they respond.”

“You think they’ll, ah, be upset?”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Maybe. Probably.” He takes a deep breath. “Mama, Papa very close to me but they not really know about my private life. Just not sure how they react when they find out, you know.”

“Find out about the baby or…?” Sid feels like it probably doesn’t need to be said.

Geno nods. “In Russia, be with guy very bad. Not safe.”

“Yeah,” Sid swallows hard. For the first time he’s thinking about consequences beyond the scope of Pittsburgh and the NHL and he’s suddenly grateful he’s from Canada.

“Not something I need to tell them before but now…”

“Right. Now I’m pregnant and fucked that up for you.”

Geno looks up and grabs Sid’s wrist. “You not fuck anything up, Sid. Take two people make this happen. Was my choice, too and I’m not regret.”

“Well, I’ll understand if you decide not to tell anyone. I mean, I’d get it.”

“Not going to be that way. Just have to figure out best way. Maybe not be easy but I do because it’s important. Besides, better to tell now than someone here find out and they hear in press.”

Sid looks up, struck again by all the things weighing on Geno with this pregnancy.

“I guess we should probably be more careful around town, too. I mean, if it got out it would be bad.”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Would be very bad. Here, maybe not as much but Russia… I probably can’t go back.”

“Oh god. You can’t—” Sid shakes his head. Somewhere in his mind he knew it but hearing it like this brings it into stark contrast. “I can’t be the person responsible for that. I won’t tell anyone, Geno. I promise.”

“Not the kind of thing to keep secret forever. Eventually, baby born and grow. Seem impossible to keep thing like this secret.”

“We’ll do it, we’ll find a way.”

Geno shakes his head. “You really want that? Not so sure I do.”

Sid’s heart sinks. “What do you mean?”

“Even if we could keep total secret, what kind of life that be for our baby? What kind of life that be for us? Maybe not ideal and maybe some hard consequences but still a baby, still going to be child for us to raise. Our baby, Sid.” To Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles and it fills him warmth.

“Only know for two days and already think about baby growing up. Want to teach him to skate and play hockey, want to take him to family skate and bring him to games.”

Sid realizes he’s smiling too. “Him?”

Geno’s grin brightens. “Have a feeling.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Not matter. Do all same thing. All that matter is she our baby, our family.” Geno’s smile stretches across his face. “We gonna get to love our little baby and watch him grow up. Maybe hard, little bit scary now but gonna be worth it, you know?”

And Sid suddenly has to blink back tears because in all the time he’s known about the pregnancy, he’d never felt like he could talk about his future with his baby, that he could look forward to it. It had hurt that everyone saw this as a burden, nothing but a crisis to manage. But now Geno is saying things out loud that Sid has barely felt allowed to even think privately.

“Yeah.” Sid has to swallow. “I do,” he breathes and he means it.

“Wouldn’t trade for anything now that I know, Sid. Don’t care what happen.”

“But what about the team? The NHL, Russia?”

Geno meets his gaze. “We figure it out. Not want you worry about it, okay? Just focus on take care of you and take care of baby. Most important.”

Sid sighs. “I’ll try. I, um, I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days.”

Geno’s face lights up and Sid’s glad he told him. “When? Maybe I find way to go?”

“Friday at three.”

Geno frowns. “Have meeting.”

“Oh. Well, I…”

“I’m sorry.”

Sid takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Geno. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have responsibilities. Honestly, the fact that you care at all means a lot. So, don’t worry, okay?”

Geno nods, looking a little miserable. “You call me, tell how it goes?”

“For sure.”

“Maybe we get together after?”

Sid smiles because this is just all so much more and so much better than he ever expected. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Geno drives Sid back to where he’d parked earlier. It’s still crowded and Sid knows they can’t linger with Geno idling in a no parking zone so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and pushes it into Geno’s hands before he gets out of the car.

“What this?”

“It’s not all of it, not even close but it’s part of what I owe you.”

Geno frowns. “Sid…”

“Not negotiable. See you Friday.” He closes the door before Geno can reply

Part 9

#Take My Hand #my fic #mpreg #rpf #sidgeno #part 8

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rosapeachhogwartsmystery · 6 years

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Spending time with Bowtruckles to relax (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - (fem!)reader x Barnaby Lee)

Masterlist (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

A/N: I kind of began writing it as a gender neutral fiction, but the ending isn’t really gender neutral anymore. So, I’ve written a warning so you will know where things aren’t gender neutral anymore. I’m sorry for those who want more gender neutral fictions with Barnaby. I’ll try to make the next fiction more gender neutral for you.

Words: 2.4k

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"There you are Barnaby Jr." You said when you were on the grounds where Care of Magical Creatures is given. You knelt down and gently let the Bowtruckle jump on your hand.

The Bowtruckle seemed happy to see you there, like it had been waiting for you to return. You weren't really allowed to bring the Bowtruckle along with you, because it was not on the list of pets you could keep. Besides, Bowtruckles could be dangerous if they were threatened. You would probably be punished if you brought the Bowtruckle along with you. You were glad Professor Kettleburn allowed you to take care of this Bowtruckle on this ground. You got attached to the Bowtruckle and you liked to take care of it.

You smiled when the Bowtruckle went up to your shoulder. "You sure like climbing up, don't you?" You said amused. It was almost like Barnaby Jr. shrugged when you asked. Taking care of Bowtruckles was relaxing to you. It kind of helped you whenever you felt stressed out by your exams or the Cursed Vaults. Taking care of Magical Creatures just kept your mind from anything that could worry you. No one knew about you more spending time with Magical Creatures. You didn't mind them not not knowing about it, because you did prefer to keep them ignorant about the fact you were dealing with stress. How could they trust you with the Cursed Vaults if you were stressed? No, you wouldn't tell them about it, that was final. You didn't want them to worry about you, after all it was just a little stress, nothing more.

You had been lying down on the grass when the Bowtruckle seemed to enjoy itself, climbing on top of you. "You seem to have a good a good time, Barnaby." You mumbled. "How did you know I was here?" You sat up and blinked when you saw the real Barnaby. You blushed a little and then you grinned awkwardly. "Oh, I.. eh... I was talking to the Bowtruckle." You mumbled. He seemed to be confused. "You called a Bowtruckle Barnaby?" "Well, Barnaby Jr. is its full name, but that is a long story." Just thinking about giving the Bowtruckle that name made you blush. "Anyways, what are you doing here." You decided to change the subject, not wanting to tell him why you called the Bowtruckle after Barnaby. "Oh, I thought Professor Kettleburn could let me help him with some Magical Creatures, just for some extra experience and stuff. It could help me become a Magizoolist in the future." He said honestly.

"What about you?" Barnaby asked. "Oh, just taking care of this Bowtruckle during my free time." You said. "And sometimes I help Professor Kettleburn with other Magical Creatures." "Oh, I didn't know how much you were into Magical Creatures lately, Y/N. Do you also want to become a Magizoolist in the future?" He asked. "I'm not sure yet, but I sure do like Magical Creatures, especially Bowtruckles." "Awesome." He said with a smile before he walked closer to you and sat down. You were looking at the Bowtruckle, who seemed to be curious about the new person that sat down next to you. "So, Kettleburn allowed you to take care of Barnaby Jr.?" He asked.

You nodded and smiled lightly. "Yeah, I got to meet the Bowtruckle during our fourth year. I got attached to it after Kettleburn told me to take care of it for a little while, so I came here once in a while to spend time with it."

"I see, but I suppose you come here more often nowadays." Barnaby said. You blinked and looked at him. "Why do you think so?" You asked, raising an eyebrow. "People have been wondering where you are lately, especially Rowan." He said. "Of course, I was curious myself, but I thought it would be better to leave you alone. You were probably just busy." You rolled your eyes slightly with a grin.

"Well, thank you for being so considerate." You said softly. "I guess I should have expected people to find out I have been gone a lot more than I used to." "You shouldn't worry too much about it. I mean, if you want to have some time alone or anything they should respect that. I mean, they all have their own things as well." "I suppose you are right." You said before you lied down on the ground again.

"You are doing all right, aren't you?" Barnaby decided to ask. You sighed. "I could be doing better." "Oh..." He said, wondering if he could ask what was up or not. "If you want you can tell me, but that is up to you." You were unsure whether you wanted to tell him or not. After all, you didn't want to worry your friends because you were stressed. However, Barnaby seemed to be open minded, so he might not be too worried about it. You sighed and then you looked at him. "I'm just a little more stressed lately. Looking for the Cursed Vaults and studying for my N.E.W.T.s is harder than I thought. So, I come here mostly to relax and keep my mind from thinking about everything I am worried about." "If this helps you with stress, it is a good way to cope with things. I mean, I heard taking breaks like these are important to keep going." He knew it was good to have breaks whenever you were studying hard. "It's a pretty hard year and I sure have quite some subjects to keep up with to pass this year." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I think you have improved a lot these past years." You told Barnaby honestly. He blinked. "You think so?" "Yeah, you used to struggle a lot more during our third year." "Well, you guys have helped me out a lot." He said with a grin. "That is what friends are for, right? Or do you still call me your partner?" You smirked lightly when you remembered him calling you a partner at the beginning. Barnaby chuckled, blushing slightly as well. "Well, you and Tulip used a Dungbomb on Ismelda and me." He said. "I wasn't sure if I could really trust you." "And you do trust me now?" You asked amused. "Most of the time, yes." He said with a grin. "Good, that means you have learnt from spending time with me." You said with a wink.

"Well, being friends with you can be more difficult than being friends with Ismelda and Merula sometimes." He joked.

"So much more difficult, after all, I don't order you around or insult you." You said and then you rolled your eyes.

"No, you convince me to come along." He said amused.

"Well, you can't just force people, can you? I don't think I would be strong enough to force you." You said.

"I don't know what you are thinking, but you seem strong enough to me." Barnaby said honestly. "You must be mistaken, I'm not that strong." You told him. "Well, you are strategic, so your intelligence is your strength. Also, you are not that easy to pull out of the way. I would say you have trained a little." He said with a grin. "Besides duelling and flying class, I don't train that much." "You are also physically active during Care of Magical Creatures." He pointed out. You shrugged and glanced away. Barnaby frowned and kept his eyes on you. "Are you doubting yourself?" He asked. "Sometimes." "Why?" He asked, not seeing why you should doubt yourself. "Because I don't want things to go wrong. I mean, my brother got in serious trouble during his search. I suppose the older I get the more worried I get about looking for the Cursed Vaults." You explained. "I don't want to end up the same way Jacob did." "You don't want your wand to be snapped." He said.

"Besides that, I have no clue what I want to do with my life after Hogwarts. I want to have good grades so I'm able to make choices, but so far I have no real directions. There are just so many things I would like to do, but eventually I would need to make a choice." You said. "And here I am, venting to you. Sorry about that." You mumbled, sighing softly afterwards.

"It is fine. You don't have to apologize." He said. "It seems like you really needed to, Y/N." "Still, I didn't mean to do such a thing." "It doesn't matter, you needed it. I think it is important you can vent yourself somewhere. You don't want to bottle your feelings up until you can’t handle it anymore, do you?” You knew Barnaby had a point. Bottling your feelings up could cause you to break down eventually. “I suppose you have a point.” You said honestly and then your ran a hand through your hair.

“You know, you can always talk to me if you want to, I mean, if that helps you out.” He said honestly. “I mean, it’s the least I can do, right?”

Here you were, venting to Barnaby about how you were feeling. You honestly were surprised how easy he handled it. He didn’t seem to mind it, actually encouraging to be talk about how you are feeling.

“You don’t have to, I mean, I might not be the best person to talk to.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I do understand you would prefer someone else to talk to, someone who understands things better.”

“So far, you have understood me completely.” You told him honestly. “I think I have never talked about this to anyone else before… At least not like this.”

“So, you think I do understand what you have been talking about?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, you seemed to know what I meant.”

“I’m glad. I mean, it’s something I doubt sometimes.” He said with a chuckle.

“Let me guess, because people have called you stupid?”

“Exactly. People often think I won’t understand what they are talking about.” He said. “Well, perhaps if we are talking about Arithmancy, Potions and History of Magic, I won’t understand.”

“Well, I’m not good at every subject either, but that definitely doesn’t mean you are stupid.”

Things got a little quiet between you two again before you decided to speak up again. “Everyone has something to deal with… Sometimes, it feels stupid to talk about your own problems when everyone has problems. I don’t want to bother you all, especially because I dragged you all in to this mess.”

Barnaby sighed softly. “You know, we all agreed to help you out, right? It isn’t like we are being forced to help you.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would you guys risking to help me? You all know it could get you in some serious trouble, right?”

“Of course, but you are also our friend and we won’t abandon you just because it is dangerous.” He said honestly. “Besides, people think it is dangerous to befriend me because of my parents.” He shrugged.

“Your parents don’t define you, Barnaby. Just like Jacob doesn’t define me either. We are just ourselves, nothing else.” You said with a smile. “You know? I actually feeling a lot better now. I guess I kind of forgot how nice it is to talk to someone about these kind of things.”

“I’m glad you are feeling better.”

“Maybe we can be each other’s venting buddies.” You chuckled. “So, you can complain and vent to me about your problems and you can listen to mine.” You joked.

“Sounds interesting. Does that also include spending time with Bowtruckles?”

“Of course! I’m sure Kettleburn doesn’t mind it if you are also taking care of Barnaby Jr.” You said with a sweet smile.

fem!Reader ending

“Y/N!”

You turned around to see Penny and Rowan running towards you.

“Oh, hey guys.” You greeted with a sweet smile.

“Y/N, don’t tell me the rumour is real….” Rowan basically begged.

You raised an eyebrow. “What rumour?”

“About you and Barnaby.” Penny said. “We just want to know the truth.”

“You still haven’t told me about the rumour.” You said honestly, wondering what was so important. It was rumour, nothing more. There was no way it would have actually happened.

“They talked about a Barnaby Jr., Y/N.”

“Oh… Barnaby Jr.” You said, wondering what this rumour was about.

“So Barnaby Jr. does exist?” Penny asked with wide eyes. She couldn’t believe you said it so causally.

“Of course he does exist.” You said simply. “I didn’t know why you would make such a big deal out of it. I mean, Kettleburn allows me to take care of him. Barnaby didn’t even know about it before we spent some time together.”

“Wait, Kettleburn knows you are pregnant!?” Rowan nearly yelled.

“Woah!” You said, holding your hands up. “Pregnant? I’m not pregnant! Bloody hell, How could I be pregnant?” You said seriously.

“But who is Barnaby Jr. then?” Penny asked.

“Barnaby Jr. is the Bowtruckle I’m taking care of. Seriously, you guys I thought I was pregnant?” You frowned.

Rowan and Penny stared blankly at you before they both understood was what was going on. “Oooooh….”

“Yes, really ‘oooh’. I can’t believe you guys thought it was about a baby…” You mumbled softly. “Besides, I might fancy Barnaby Lee, but I don’t recall having a fun night under the sheets with him if you know what I mean.”

“Wait, you fancy me?”

You honestly thought you were going to die when you heard Barnaby’s voice behind you. Why did he have to be there? Why couldn’t he be somewhere else when you basically told him out loud you fancied him.

Rowan and Penny grinned awkwardly at you, giving you an apologetic look.

You took a deep breath and then you turned around to face Barnaby. “Yes, I do fancy you.” You said softly before you basically walked away from the scene.

This was definitely not what you had in mind. No, you were going straight to Care of Magical Creatures, so you would be able to calm yourself down again with Barnaby Jr..

“What just happened?” Barnaby asked, looking very confused. He knew he would need to talk to you later, but he couldn’t help it but to be very confused about this.

(A/N: Once again I’m sorry for the ending not being gender neutral because of the ‘MC is pregnant’ rumour I decided to add. I thought it would be funny if people believed the MC was pregnant because people kept hearing the name Barnaby Jr. >__>’)

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survivor-guyana · 5 years

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Episode 5 - "Another day, another swap." - Jess

Sarah was robbed.

Please tribe swap, please tribe swap.

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Not really sure how to feel at this stage...

Jess absolutely botched this challenge for us, and it was probably the worst individual effort in a competition that I have seen in years. For that, she automatically created a target on her back.

HOWEVER, I need to control who goes here, and it won't be Jess. It sounds like Dani and Nick were on opposite sides of the joint tribal, and will likely target one another.

I would personally like to see Alyssa go sooner than later, but there is no context in taking her out right now. She is "Hosororo strong" apparently, but the tables have turned. I'm not sure if I am willing to give her the same mercy that the favs gave us.

Honestly I wouldn't mind losing this so Mitchell goes home but then again I wouldn't mind Arakaka going to tribal either. I also feel like Nick is fucked over at Takama. He has the idol but that'd require someone using it on him which I doubt would happen. He better up his social game! If Arakaka goes to tribal then it should obviously be Aidan bc of his advantage and bc of Jones, Sammy, and Chelsea/JD alliance. Wait is Chelsea a fan? Lol idk.

So Ive been talking to Maynor and TJ individually about having an alliance of us 3 since I put them both high on my list! They both agreed and so I formed the alliance called... JONES'S ANGELS! I feel like we're gonna be a good alliance as well. Oh José is on our tribe as well as Mitchell. José is someone that I talked to the least on our OG tribe and from the looks of the trust list, someone who is not very trusted. Mitchell has his karma coming from the joint tribal round and for voting out Sarah. (PSST Sarah I miss u queen I can't wait to see you in Survivor Michigan.)

Another day, another swap. I've officially been on EVERY single tribe now. I am Guyana's Orphan. Honestly, I'm actually okay with how we swapped this time around.

I'm in the majority both in several ways. 1. I'm in the majority if Devon and I decide to stick with the "Fans" (barf). 2. I'm in the majority if we decide to go to Hosororo Way (yassss bitch) 3. I'm in the majority if Favourites attempt something (meh).

BUT this bitch is literally her OWN ENEMY RIGHT NOW. I flopped that memory competition harder a nerd at Comic Con trying to talk to a female. YIKES. I hope the flu isn't what sends me home or else I'm going to FUCKING RAGE.

I was able to re-connect with Dani which was okay? for me? I guess? Honestly at this point I have no loyalty to the Fans tribe (I don't think I ever had any tbh). I don't think a label in front of someone's name should stop me from trying to further my game. That being SAID....

Nick is on A WHOLE NOTHER' LEVEL Y'ALL. This man literally knew me for 5 seconds and spilled his whole game. I expected more from a dude who owns a buff personally. The only thing he didn't tell me last night was his social insurance number. I kind of feel bad for him but I don't want to let him get far. I rather keep Dani around than him at this point. I don't want that to hurt my relationship with Alyssa so.. I AM STRESSING RIGHT NOW.

Speaking of Alyssa...

MY GIRL ALYSSA GETTING FIRST.. fucking SCARES ME SHITLESS. I would honestly consider her my #1 at this point but now this has me thinking.. am I really HER number 1? Does she have the same relationship with me like she has with others? If we merge does she have my back over people like Jones/JD who she speaks HIGHLY of to me? I have my doubts but I think having someone like her on my side in this crucial time is an ASSET. She is VULNERABLE and I need to make sure I make her feel as fucking comfortable as possible. It's times like these where those strong relationships form and I honestly think if we can possibly

That's my bitch, that's my girl. I honestly think Alyssa is my gate-way drug to the Favourites at this point. I also really just want to meet Jones because I'm convinced she's my future best friend.

Something I haven't touched on.... ever BUT I can't wait to possibly re-connect with TJ. I miss being able to strategize with him. The way he sees games is insane and I have a half of a brain cell so it's always nice to have a smart person do the thinking for you.

I NEED TO FIND A FUCKING ADVANTAGE OR A GOD DAMN IDOL.

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I cant believe we won immunity. I was really scared that we would have to go to tribal. Me, TJ, and Tim made an alliance called Jones’s Angels and i cant wait to be reunited with Jones. Mitchell is acting like last vote wasnt against me but it was like. How can you say theres 100% trust when there isnt. The Jenna vote was not as much of a suprise for Mitchell cuz i mentioned my worries about Jenna. Im being buddy buddy but if we lost next round. He is going home for sure. Once you brake my trust, you cant really get it back. Sorry mitchell buddy. And i have eyes on Aidan and Dani. Karma for Sarah is coming.

WOW! That's all I have to say right now. This game is really putting me through the ringer but I'm in it to win it and this fucking tribe swap threw me for a loop. I knew the trust lists would come into play but I didn't know right away. But I sort of made such a power move on my tribe and then got shuffled into this and I saw the numbers and went FUCK.

Like four favorites versus little old me! But I like a challenge... I'm not Sarah, I'm not going to let myself get swapfucked. *gives the camera a shady look*

Having the Opal Idol in my pocket is amazing and I'm glad I went for that temptation. Everyone knows I have it but honestly I think there's an advantage to standing out. I feel like this series is used to a lot of UTR, lowkey players and people lying low and that's just not my thing... I honestly can't lay low to save my life. So my plan is to go after them. Honestly since I was low on the trust list it makes sense to go after people high on the trust list. I'm honestly not that bitter but if I can use it to justify targeting some people, I'm going to do it.

I'm not sure of my tribe because everybody is meh so far? I don't know if I'm dry or they're just all in alliances but I can't get a read on them for shit. I saw how well they all did in their past games and JD is giving me this loner act but she's been to an FTC so I know she's not as dumb as she's letting on. For some reason the fact that there are more girls than guys concerns me because I feel like those bitches could link up?

I guess I like Chelsea the best but maybe that's because she seems a little more exciting. Sammy does too but he seems like a game threat. I think I'm reluctant to share anything with anyone because I'm not sure of their relationships with each other. I think I want Jonesy out though... she has this cutesy act that is relatable and did pretty well on her first season. She was high on the trustlist too.

In all... I feel isolated but not intimidated.

Nobody has asked about the temptation but I'm ready to lie about it being a vote steal like I told Dani and Mitchell. I need to start keeping my lies in order because they're going to be PISSED when I reveal what it really is but hopefully they understand... if I ever see them again. I'm worried about Dani AND Jess over there at Takama because Devon is crafty. They are some people I hope I can rekindle with at merge. I'd consider working with Maynor but he seems like the type to want revenge.

WE WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN fuck yeah also i wanna elaborate on something i said in my last confessional about using Aidan as a shield bc idk if I ever explained that Aidan has proclaimed that his tribe did not trust him at all, AND he has an advantage, right? so obviously, people would want to vote him out because of it. HOWEVER, if I get him to trust me/on my side, not only can we work together, BUT everyone will always target him over myself, so yeah, logic ;)

Unfortunately we didn't lose and just as I feared Nick's tribe lost. Welp you had a good run Nick.

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So this round has been messed up. I was swapped to a tribe with 1 person I talked to breifly on our original tribe and had an alliance with to search for idols. The other 3 players were all people I never spoke to. Furthermore Dani even voted vote for a few tribals ago. After a botched challenge I’m hoping that it’s going to be Dani tonight and not me. I’ve spoken with Jess and Devon and get good vibes that they want to play together. Let’s hope their not playing me.

So pretty much I’ve been able to establish a strong relationship with Maynor this game... now I just need a majoritu on this tribe to be able to cause some damage within the merge, so we’ll see how things go when I reach that phase 😤 I want to work with TJ tbh, but we’ll see how that goes I guess haha

Ugh I hope Jess and devon aren’t ducking with me but I think it’s me or nick. Really hoping it’s nick. Sorry for typos drubk

Ummmm, so what did i do? Nothing, what have I done? Nothing, I didnt do the challenge ether cus like, wow I do not have a shity memory. But we won so yay team!

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survivorkomnata · 5 years

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Episode #11: “i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know” - Ally

The F8 vote seemed to have worked out well for me. I believe I shifted the plan from voting Stephen to Jess as Jess has been socially great but I havent been able to develop a great personal relationship with her and our interests in the game seem to differ. I am kinda glad with my position rn tho I am pretty sure the jury hates me rn but my aim is to find a way to maneuver to the end. Stephen and Ally must be really upset with me for lying over and over again and I might be targeted soon.

i am on a train and so i decided i'll write a confessional.

after having time to think last night (misplaying my idol), here are my thoughts: yeah, it sucks. it definitely hurt my game more than it helped. i am now 10x more vulnerable in the game. but, i'm not regretful? i'm now in a less-stressed state, where if i'm going to leave, so be it. no one was really shocked (though some may be more angered at me), and it kinda helps clear a target on my back because i'm like... easy to beat.

now, let me talk about something. after thorough analysis, i believe i have the least likelihood of winning this game. that's fine. i'm not really mad about it. below i'll just provide why i think i can't win this game, and my personal view.

CHANCES OF MAKING IT TO FTC: to begin, my chances of making it to ftc is very limited. i'm in a state where i have no idol, and i must rely on competitions (at some point, not necessarily now). i honestly think i'm safe at F7, but i know in order to get into F2 (or F3), i'll probably need to win a few immunities (or hope people see me as the goat i am and.. dragggg me BAAAAA). other people in the category of 'limited' when it comes to making ftc are stephen/ally/alyssa. now, let's pretend i do win like 3 immunities and achieve that position at FTC. this has two outcomes. first being that i don't think the jury will majorly respect it. and secondly, well, i'll describe it in the points below.

CHANCES TO WIN (IF I REACH FTC): i think i have horrible chances at this rate. ever since jury started, my management of said people hasn't been the greatest. i don't entirely blame myself (though maybe i should), but i don't see stephen w./miguel/luke/jess being keen on voting me. i think the most grossest(word choice?) of those are miguel. he's going to be emotional/bitter, and kind of rightfully so - i did vote him out. but i also got targeted in the first place for trying to save him. i put my blood, sweat, tears into trying to let him live and... well... i couldn't do it. and, in my personal opinion, that should outweigh me voting him. so as of now, i think i have 0/4 locks. i could see current players voting for me depending on how the game goes (i.e ally, alyssa, karthik) but that's so iffy to really count on. now a quick analysis of other players: alyssa - i think she's by far the strongest middle player/has been the swing vote in various instances. though bitterness may be an outcome, she's played a dominating game. ally/stephen - minority. they are going to have stephen w./luke/jess practically on lock, and even miguel to some extent. they are the underdogs that even i would be rooting for if i were on jury. tim/karthik - both are better middle players than i am. they are always the go-tos to make a move. maybe this is a bad thing for them (and by default, good for me) because they are seen as 'goats' or something. i doubt that though. they have more agency, and though i once again don't think that's at MY fault, it ultimately detriments my game. jake - jake has continually been targeted due to being a flexible, snakey threat. though he may not be doing the absolute most strategically/etc., he has that perception of ''winner'' and ''big player'', which alone can carry a lot of brownie points when it comes to voting.

CONCLUSION: So i think my chances to win are the lowest odds because of my inability to guarantee FTC for myself, and even if i do, i ain't going to be a strong contender to win unless the jury comes around to my busted ass game.

- okay, i want to talk about my personal thoughts on this.

i don't think i played the best. but, i don't blame myself for being in this shitty situation. wait. to specify, i don't blame myself for being hated by jury/players. i DO blame myself for being in the shitty position and limited chances of making FTC, which has factors including my prejury comp strength (there was strategy w/ that but i'll talk abt that another time.

my chances have sucked ever since jury started. stephen w. and i were never on a tribe together, and though i was a 'threat', i didn't flip. i did consider it however, but that isn't enough credit for him. it wasn't smart to work with him considering he was targeting me, but that's valid to not vote me in the end. miguel is a loyal and emotional person, 100% valid. i did not meet those terms at the end of the day, and that's only on me i guess. luke showed no loyalty to me and so i reciprocated the fakeness. we never worked together. jess, i DID try to work with, but she rejected that just to kinda blame it on me and so i voted her out. i have no friends on jury, and the earlier jurors are the most critical to some degree (because they can become an unit or something and start rallying campaigns for people).

my lack of agency, which is my biggest in-game flaw, isn't my fault directly. i tried to be extra social and show willingness to flip. of the 5 Kato2.0 members, i think i was easily the most willing to change up the game. karthik/tim have lied numerous times about flipping, and jake has done so prior. i haven't. maybe i should have, and i would be in a position, but i wanted to maintain this veil of honesty that like i was opened 2 working w them, even if NOW wasn't the time. the voted me and then only talked to me abt my vote when they needed me. i have to be missing something. this isn't a bad thing on MY game when others dont want to work with me, but i cant figure out the missing piece. maybe someones lying about what i'm doing and pitting people against me (good on them). maybe i did something really bad. but, it's a struggle. i thought i was playing so well but now i'm in a position of... hopelessness. i don't have any strong friends in the game. tim's probably the closest to me. i'm just... i'm unsure.

i want to talk about the future of this game real quick. this round, i anticipate ally/stephen will target one of me/alyssa/jake. tim wants to target alyssa (according to him) so i can see her being targeted. i'm unsure if that's how i'll vote, but i'm thinking. i think, if i am lucky + smart enough, that i'll make f5 easily. if alyssa goes, theres no way ppl would keep ally/stephen both til f5 considering they are minority n have that sway over the jury. put in that position, im the strongest physically. if ally goes F7 (or stephen), then jake/alyssa are a duo i can spearhead to break up. but, if alyssa has two idols, shes final 4 and well . it's over . but maybe she'd idol out like karthik or smthing n then me/tim/stephen vote out alyssa/jake and... yea. there's some hope for me but it's VERY circumstantial.

my brain hurts lol sorry

So last night I was BRUTALLY blindsided. And it's kinda late in the game for that to still be happening! This is way worse than Miguel or Luke leaving. Karth, Tim, Zach and Alyssa all overtly lied to me about their plans and votes. Granted, I also lied to Alyssa so there's that.

Karth, Tim, and Zach all hit me with the "but we're allies now that you proved you're honest" and I'm rolling with it because I don't have much of a choice. Ally wants to try something with Alyssa/Jake but I'm not exactly holding my breath. I won't buy anything until people start coming to me with real plans. At least Zach's idol is gone so others might be more tempted to make a move on him now.

Being voted most honest was something I ABSOLUTELY capitalized off of. I used it to try and get Alyssa on my side by telling her Stephen said she's next if Zach wins (even though she went and mentioned my name) I used it to blatantly lie to Jess and Stephen and Im using it now to do damage control with Stephen

Honestly the reason I voted Jess was very strategic. If Stephen was gone then Jess could weave her way into an alliance with Alyssa and Jake whereas Stephen would not. Stephen is still a big threat to win and with him here it means that he'll possibly take priority over me. Because honestly who wants Stephen at f3??? Who wants Zach at f3??? Who wants Ally at f3?? They MAY want Alyssa at f3 which is why she's my next target Stephen: Its not smart for me to go against you guys either way

Me: I already know this lmaoo you want me in your f3 duh

Im gonna go ahead and be overzealous when i say this may be the first game where I make f3.

I feel like I've played my cards correctly and If it works out how I want.. i could win/ get 2nd. I can literally destroy and discredit Karthik's game in a matter of seconds so I'm not concerned and Jake's game thusfar has been straightforward. If I can survive this round then I can make it to the end of the game. Omg if its a f2 instead of a f3 i will scream. I'm being too hopeful rn lol.

AHHHHH BITCHESSS I WON IMMUNITYYYY. Poverty was on my side. (I'm not poor lmao). I feel great and I definetely needed to win it considering the fact that my name was mentioned last round. Oh I also sent Karthik to the basement in hopes of finding something buy I also sent him there so that I wont make a target out of Alyssa and break any potential bonds there.

Now originally I made an ellaborate plan to vote out Alyssa but I've done quite a bit of talking to Stephen regarding my position as well as everyone's position in the game. I'm torn between trying to get the vote on Alyssa or going with Ally, Karthik, and Stephen and voting oyt Zach. We will see.

I have a plan for this vote tonight and I think it’ll work. We’re gonna split the votes and if Stephen or ally goes, I think I’ve set myself up for s really good game. Of course anything can happen, but as long as I don’t get blindsided, I feel good about the rest of the game. Of course, that being said, anything can happen and this is Survivor

Thinking about how this could be my last day in the game is crazy. I'm relying on Tim and Karth to hold up their end of the deal to vote Zach out tonight. If it works, everything will change. I'll suddenly be in a real alliance for the first time in awhile. I don't plan on letting go of the numbers once I have them, but I really don't know if I even have them. Karth was my closest ally since Day 1 and he lied to me and sent out my next closest ally. I believe Tim has been leaking information I was posting in the 4-elements chat for awhile now. And I am definitely the target of at least 3/7 people heading into this tribal according to Tim.

Basically, everything should be seen as a negative right about now. But that's not how I see it. Playing from the bottom could be an amazing opportunity for me. I believe with Zach finally leaving, the 2 duos on the other side will finally have to point fingers at each other rather than doing everything behind the scenes. Then I'm just a little bit farther away from the end. Maybe I can still win this thing.

Of course, I could also go home 5-2 if Karth and Tim are just lying. But I think I've convinced them that keeping me is best for their game. Or maybe it's just that Alyssa and Zach come across as too threatening We even discussed possible endgame scenarios where I go to F3 with them. I wouldn't quite go that far with both of them after all the scheming and plotting on their end but hey, one of them can come along for the ride ;). Assuming I don't go home which is still totally possible LADSHSJKDHDKJHKSDJ

it’s rly quiet lol

i feel kinda nervous but also just kinda like i don’t give a fuck ya know

like... i’ve already been lied to and blindsided so many times that it’s hard to care or have high expectations at this point

i’m voting zach, afaik everyone else is down but again that could be a lie or he could have another idol idfk

i’m only loyal to stephen now idc abt any of these ppl

Ally is voted out in a 4-3 vote. She becomes the fifth member of our jury.

#escapenow #episode

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jess-oh · 6 years

Text

Reflection

hey journal!

i had a pretty good day today but it was all ruined so quickly.

i started the day by waking up late and so, i didnt meet linda in time at the fullerton red line stop at 8am this morning and i felt super bad but i chose to just take a lyft instead. i debated on training it up to jenny but by that time. i’d get to church by 10am and i wasnt sure if i would even make it in time so i just decided to take a lyft instead. i made a commitment to come early and although i would be very late, it was better to come a little early than not at all! and i had a good time talking with my lyft driver about church and my busy schedule anyway! and i think i’m getting the hang of finding the balance of listening intently and actually caring for others and sharing my own experiences. as of right now, ive been trying to not share about myself unless prompted to and i think it’s been working so far! im just afraid i’ll end up having a lot of pent up emotions that i never felt comfortable sharing and end up feeling miserable again. but hopefully it doesnt come to that and people just know to ask! but i saw josh, johnathan’s roommate, there again and that was really nice! i got to see amanda and johnathan and josh and p josh and i was glad. and i got to see some familiar faces! like david, austin, rachel, johnny, christine, daniel bang and more! and although, again, i am sad chelsea and angela were missing, im also relieved that they werent there bc i wasnt so afraid of being judged constantly. honestly, jason too. he was also missing and i felt kind of relieved bc although i know he means well when he teases me, it’s slowly spiraling into verbal abuse and i actually do get kind of hurt sometimes. i tend to shrug it off but like when he calls me a “dummy” when i learn about new information, i feel kind of bad. if i knew but forgot, then thats one thing and i know i deserve that. but i literally just found out. why does that warrant or mean im not smart in any way? i’ll probably confront him about it in the near future and as of right now, i do value him as a friend and we have had real, deep conversations with each other, which i do really value and appreciate. and i also dont think i have a real issue in telling him about how i feel. i have been wondering if he’s been wanting to check up on me since i cried when he told me about my flaws. but, he hasnt asked yet so i guess it’s whatever. but then again, we also havent seen each other in a while. it’s been what, two weeks, going on three weeks now? it does feel a bit weird. but then again, even missing just one sunday left me feeling like i’d been gone for such a long time! and though i was a bit stressed at first with the cross conference meeting and meeting so many new freshmen at once, i am really glad and grateful that i got to spend time with everyone today. i didnt pay too much attention to the cross conference meeting as my attention was divided elsewhere but it sounded good for the most part! it sounds like we’ll be selling calligraphy prints, doing a bake sale, and a benefit concert! im excited to see how it all goes! then, johnathan, amanda, p. josh and i went to the college room to prepare and pray over the meeting for the day and it was really nice to just be able to spend that time with them! p josh pitched a game, i couldnt think of anything better and neither could amanda or johnathan, so we just ran with it! johnathan was full of great ideas today, tbh! he had a lot of little afterthoughts that really contributed to the success of the icebreaker today! it was a bit awkward at first but all the freshmen seem to be really close and im excited to see how many of them stay and choose to invest in the community here! oh! i also prayed for the service today pretty on the spot! p josh legit texted me on my way to church and i sheepishly agreed to it. but i was really feeling the music today and my heart feels so much lighter and happier after having gone to vision camp over the weekend with amanda! so when i got up to the front, i tried to go over everything happening today during the service but more importantly, really tried to be real and genuine with the words that i said and i think that i did. and i later asked elsa if it was a good prayer and she said it was so i guess i did pretty well! ^_^ thank you for speaking through me today, God!

Then, i debated on whether or not to go back downtown or stay in Evanston and God made a way! it seemed like Amanda would go home and i felt bad ditching her and choosing to stay in Evanston and possibly spend time with the freshmen but they ended up not coming! haha. but instead, alex cho, austin, briefly d. bang, daniel kwon, yaeji, johnny, johnathan, p. josh, amanda, christine, and esther were there! and im really only “close” with amanda, p. josh, and johnathan but i think through the icebreaker and just studying together today really brought us all closer together! i held a few conversations with christine, i talked to austin about my client work, i joked around with johnny and the others, i gave my opinion to yaeji both while we were waiting at church and while we were studying and overall, i didnt feel very scared or nervous or pressured. i was just there and enjoyed the moment and the opportunity i got to spend with them. and im glad. i do really want to grow closer in my relationship with them all this coming year. and im hoping we can start through the EC retreat this weekend! im stressed beyond belief with all my responsibilities but im also starting to feel better and more optimistic! as i was typing this, jason randomly messaged me and it was just for a test but it meant a lot to me that he would even think of me to do that. i really hope he and angela are doing okay! i cant imagine how hard this must be for him to have his significant other attending a different church when he has been placed by God at lakeview. maybe it wasnt meant to be or maybe angela just needs to grow on her own apart from us. regardless of the reason, i hope shes doing well. but i also want to give her space bc i do feel partly responsible for why she left. at the end of the day, she was just bitter towards everything but i also didnt help the fact either. but i really do hope chelsea and angela are doing okay! i think the best thing i can do now is to just pray for them and lift them up! i want to genuinely care for them and put them first before myself. i know that i’ve been incredibly selfish and prideful in the past but i really do want to do better. i really do. and only by God’s strength may i do that!

But onto why I was so stressed out earlier. I walked back with Amanda to the train and then took that down with her for most of the ride. We got to know each other on a much deeper level and I want her to know that I will be there for her just as much as she has already been there for me! And I do really hope we can grow deeper in out relationship together. I asked her if she didnt mind sharing why she is such a people pleaser and i learned a lot about her through that! i just paid attention and listened intently and didn’t think of myself at all throughout it. i dont always need to give advice or respond. i just need to be there for her. and i was. so i did. i couldnt relate to her situation but i cared more that she could understand her thought process more than i did about sharing my own feelings. and it did really fill me with joy to do that! im glad we got to spend so much time together and can continue to spend more time together in the near future!

but anyways, she got off at monroe, which was fine, bc i was almost home anyway. BUT, i dont remember exactly where. i think around Roosevelt or maybe Sox-35th...these 4 kids got on and started acting pretty crazily. They were ripping the plastic screen protectors off the windows of the train and rolling them up. Presumably to use later but just to have fun, they started whacking each other with the pieces of plastic. and i was kinda shocked at myself for feeling somewhat paralyzed in the moment and scared. it wasnt bc they were black. it was just bc i didnt know what to do! i was afraid of how they would react or what they would do to me if i spoke up and said something! so instead, i just turned a blind eye and did my best to focus my attention elsewhere and simply look out the window! and i did almost get hit when 2 of the kids were hitting each other on opposing sides of the window and i think thats when the kid next to me noticed me. he was probably about 8 or so years old. he was definitely a child while the others were a bit older ranging from 8-16. but as i tried to politely leave, he grazed my butt with his plastic roll and from behind me, i heard him say, “haha, i touched that girl’s booty!” and i did feel a bit violated but i could chalk that up to being an accident if i really wanted to. so then i waited for my stop and it felt like the longest ride in between the two stops. but i waited and just did my best to ignore the kid and look out the window, ready to leave. to which, he definitely purposefully hit my butt again with the plastic, underneath my buttcheeks and said something along the lines of, “see ya, babe.” and i just sheepishly/nervously smiled and quickly left. and my thoughts were running pretty fast. i was in such shock and didnt think it would bother me as much as it did. i think the fact it was a kid and not an older man to which i actually really did feel helpless was nice but the fact that i was just physically sexually harassed at all surprised me. and i have been catcalled before but this was different! i felt so violated. he knew what he was doing and was proud of himself for having touched me. i felt violated. and i still do. i worry about what my first time having sex will be like if this is how i react to getting touched on the train. but anyways, i quickly told amanda and later my group chat with jordan and tykira and i was worried that they would brush it off and tell me it was no big deal. so i was pretty surprised when they were concerned for my safety and wellbeing instead. to which i responded that i was okay, just shocked. but their genuine concern meant a lot to me! i still cant really believe that happened and i had a really hard time concentrating or focusing on the lyrics of praise songs so i just prayed to God instead about how i do trust somewhere that this experience happened to me for a reason and it could have been a lot worse than it was but it wasnt. it happened and im here and i just have to accept it and move on. i dont know what was going on in that kid’s life and the best thing i can do is to just pray for him and wish him the best.

and finally, i slipped on this but the bathroom flooded at church today and idk who did it or when but i was honestly prepared to leave at first, had it not been for an ahjumma that came in and noticed the mess. and idk... something about that triggered something within me and i quickly ran to get a mop from the MPR and clean it up! it wasnt mine to clean and im sure someone else would have done it later. but for the time being, it was there and it was a mess and getting in the way of everyone’s restroom experience so i took initiative and cleaned up the mess. and honestly, a part of me hoped that p josh or yaeji or amanda or someone would see me or wonder why im taking so long and ask what i was doing. to which, i could humble brag and say i cleaned the restrooms faithfully though it was not my responsibility to do so. but no one asked or noticed my leave of absence. so i ended up just telling amanda instead and she didnt respond very enthusiastically which made me realize that i had made an error in my ways. and now im here, reporting it and reflecting upon it!

but yeah! thats where im at now! i was about to post this but then p josh messaged me about meetups and i started talking to him and im just really so blessed to have gotten to know him so much better over the summer and i reall yam excited to work with him this coming school year! i do believe that he has grown, a lot. and i am very proud of him. thank you for blessing and placing me here, God! I know i was weary at first but i really am so much happier here than i could have ever imagined!

#reflection

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vicicicici-blog1 · 6 years

Text

alright back on this shit

____________________________________________________ 20xx/06/14

I can't do it.

I've tried to call the police over the past few days, and every time I find myself shrinking away from the phone.

I don't know why, I've never felt like this before.

For now, I've made a decision. I'm in a good spot right now, since I've joined the club. I'm going to keep surveying the place, and see what I can do to raise my rank. in the meantime, I'm going to keep making these notes as evidence, and when Alex gets home, I'm going to show him what I've found.

Alex, when you read this: I know people are dying. I know it's silly to get worried about a police call like this. I'm sorry for all of that.

But for now, I think this is the best I can do.

The next meeting is tomorrow.

_____________________________________________________ 20xx/06/15

I'm back from the meeting. It's a little easier to explain what happened this time.

From what I can tell, people don't necessarily go to every single meeting, as there were fewer people there this time. I'm also not sure if, maybe, some of them might've been different people. After all, everyone was wearing those masks.

Today, for the meeting, it was a broadcast from another branch - 02NS, I think it said. It turns out the floor of the arena also operates as a screen for everyone to watch. How much money has gone into this?

Over the broadcast was another member of the club, wearing a beaver mask, and another woman, wearing a red fox mask, and carrying a gun. She was setting up a drone of some kind, and in barely a minute she'd swapped the perspective over to the drone. In the new image, I could see a black van, and now, the noises of screaming and crying, coming from a separate recording. Everyone in the room began screaming wildly, as the announcer came back on.

"Good afternoon everyone! Today, 02NS Blue Beaver has worked hard with her dear sister 02NS Red Fox, notable sharpshoot [NAME REDACTED] in order to bring us a wonderful hunt!"

From the screen, popped up a few images, all of boys of varying ages, though my best guess is that they were mostly around high school age.

"Start making your bets for parts! After all, [NAME REDACTED] is gonna need to know where to avoid aiming!"

Parts.

It doesn't take a genius to know what that means.

Everyone around me was screaming prices at the top of their lungs, even [NAME REDACTED], and the women in bird masks began typing everything being yelled out. [NAME REDACTED] pointed at one boy, bone thin with curly blonde hair, begging for even just a slice from his neck.

I have no clue what anyone could even want with a neck, let alone a slice of one.

After a few minutes, the announcer came back on, quieting everyone.

"Alright, the top bets have come in! Miss [NAME REDACTED] is all set to go! Now, it's time for the fun! Three... two... one! NOW!"

The back door of the van opened up, and the five or so boys in the pictures were pushed out, all of them either terrified to the point of tears or looking away, quietly but desperately. The second they saw the girl with the gun, they all bolted into the woods. The announcer called it a ten second head start.

Then, the drone flew up high in the air, giving us a shot of the area, a wooded area where it was almost impossible to see where they were going. It was also completely caged in.

Once ten seconds had passed, Red Fox sprinted off, going in the direction of one guy, whose photos and size clearly painted him as a football player of great skill. The drone, seemingly knowing where they all were, zeroed in on him, as he'd already managed to make it close to the gated end from the direction he ran. When he made it to the clearing, he seemed to realize that too - with a better look from his perspective, the gate was imposing, made of barbed wire, and standing roughly fifteen feet in the air. The bar at the top glowed hot red.

Even so, the young man grabbed onto the fence, and started climbing. The barbs already began digging in his hands, leaving his hands a sticky, bloody mess as he kept going. When he finally got to the top bar, he made a quick grab for it, only to recoil in pain, as smoke came off of it, and fell back down to the ground.

"OOOOH! You'd think it was obvious that the bar was burning hot, huh? Sorry for all those muscular hand lovers out there, hoping to take a nice set home!”

I heard a small, disappointed sigh from close by. I'm really glad the mask covered my face, because the face I made would've outed my sickened expression to everyone there immediately.

He rolled over, grasping at his hand, when out of the bushes, Red Fox had come out, gun aimed. He looked up at her, and before he had time to even realize it, she shot him three times in the back. His body slumped over to the side, leaving his surprised face left turned on camera. Once again, the crowd went wild.

She reloaded her gun, and moved on to her next target, the drone zeroing in on the boy that [NAME REDACTED] aimed to get a slice of. He hadn't stopped crying since he ran off. It took her barely seconds before she caught up to him, shooting him square in the back with one shot. I'm not sure if he was even dead when she ran off for her next target.

One by one, she took them all down with ease. The longest one it took managed to figure out a place to hide that even the drone couldn't zero in on, but he ended up being found when he suddenly started choking up. I think he was having an asthma attack. She shot him in the neck. The other two besides that were shot in the side and the head respectively. If any bodies are found grouped together with missing parts and bullet wounds in those specific places, here is your case story.

This time, I stayed for a little longer, looking around at the stuff inside. Those casino-like machines I was looking at before consisted of mostly computers, giving access to videos of past murders and an online shop, and then some actual casino games, which many of the members were lined up to play. After a while I didn't wan't to be there any more, so I left. As sickening as it is, I'm going to try and go back again next week, and this time I'll make sure the hidden mic works.

I also just realized I forgot to take a closer look at the benefits package. Between work and the stress of this investigation, I just left it be. I'm too tired right now, I'll look at it tomorrow. _____________________________________ 20xx/06/16

I took a look in the benefits package today.

It wasn't anything special on the outside, just a thin black fabric bag, adorned with a zipper and a white rabbit on the side. I wasn't expecting too much out of it.

On the inside, it was mostly booklets, as well as a small black box, labelled "LEVEL 1 SURPRISE GIFT". First, it would be best to go over the booklets first.

The first, and largest booklet went over the club activities, what's available from the club, the club's public website (which I am surprised exists) and, most importantly, the ranking system.

It's based on purchases. Every little thing purchased from either the website or at the club directly is directly funneled into your overall rank, allowing access to more things such as a free vpn, free at-home access to the video collection archived at the site, special purchase items, the list goes on.

I checked the site, which requires the branch name, number, and mask type in order to enter the site. I'm only Level 1, so I'm limited to the purchase of innocuous items, like gardening tools and decorative knives. I think when I go to work, I'll leave my login information somewhere for my coworker to find, maybe disguise it as something left behind by a customer. At the very least, I can tip someone off to this that way, instead of trying and failing to call the police.

The next booklet was some sort of showcase for some of their notable contracted killers and corporations. It's pretty shocking to go through, some of these people are legitimately famous, like [LOL I HAD TO GET RID OF THIS HUGE AMOUNT OF INFO SHE LISTED. IM HONESTLY SURPRISED BY SOME OF THIS STUFF TOO A LOT OF THEM ARE PREETY WELL KNOWN FOR DOING GOOD SHIT SUCKS YOU CANT READ THEM BUT AT LEAST YOU GET ONE] the only company that I didn't recognize came at the very end of the book, a company called "FDN". They apparently provide their test subjects for a variety of shows and productions, particularly for this club. The booklet provides no help in explaining what their name might stand for, and the only thing that pops up when I look it up is stuff about the stock market.

The other booklets included just have stuff about methods of death, little magazine-style tests for finding out your preferred death styles, and ideal choices of item brands to use for the express purpose of death. I mostly skimmed through these.

Finally, there was the box. I wanted to save it for last, just in case it was actually a bomb, or a severed finger, or something. It was explained, in the first booklet, that new members get a commemorative item at random, be it something useful for inflicting really small acts of harm, like a tiny decorated knife or a vial of nonlethal poison, or souvenir things like a necklace with a bead filled with a previous victim's blood, or knife tip that broke while stabbing someone. It didn’t say anything about actual body parts or bombs, though it wouldn’t surprise me if it just didn’t need to.

I seemed to get something that was both a weapon and a commemorative item. Inside, wrapped in a neat circle and perched on a silk pillow like an expensive necklace, was maybe about about two feet of thin barbed wire, that looked sharp enough to prick someone's finger at even the softest touch. It was also partially covered in dried blood.

I want to throw it out, but it's important evidence. Alex, I'm putting it and everything else in the locker for safe keeping. ________________________________________________

dumbass bitch this is why your dead i bet

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viewofsal · 6 years

Text

Goodbye 2017. I’m ready for 2018 adventures.

2017 has been a year filled with laughter, smiles, tears, anger, anxiety, lessons, blessings, experiences and fun adventures. It was a year to let go of people, to let new people in, to be strong when I felt weak, to fight for myself against life and most importantly to find myself in all of this craziness.

I fell in love, I got my heart broken. I trusted someone with my eyes closed, which is rare because I dont trust a lot of people. I wanted to marry this guy, he was the dream guy I wanted. I did everything I can to save a relationship from falling, but it was never suppose to be this hard. We fought, we argued. we loved each other at times, we didnt talk for days… and then it finally ended. (71517)

I fought against my health, I went to therapy. It was probably one of the most scariest thing I have ever been through… I never felt so lonely even though I was surrounded by so many people that loved me and cared for me, yet I still felt alone. I dont know why… But it all went well and I am much better.

I had trusted a few good friends who at the end fucked me over big time. Shabina was like my best friend and the little sister I never had. And looking back at it… I realized how can she be that, as in my bff and little sister when she was actually never there for me through anything. I will never forget the day that I was telling her about my break up the of day it was happening and she rolled her eyes. After that day I didnt talk to her and I wanted to be left alone. But she texted me before my trip to Atlanta- she literally said forgive and forget and move on. So I did. Because thats what the nice Salia does…. But then after the whole Haroon + Salia thing happened she became bitter- and she asked me if I was just “having fun with him?” Like yeah hell ya I was… but shit on the first meet you dont tell someone “hey so when are we getting married…?” NO. This is why you and that lawyer guy never made it. But anyways….. Telling her was the biggest mistake ever, because she put nazaar on me and potentially having something. It is what is. And yes I am a horrible person for calling her a bitch while arguing- but she was being one. I had to tell her to stop. I remember I had a stop at San Fran on the way back from Arizona and she just accused me of being a hoe. And I had it… like yo at least I dont meet guys off of minder and on the first hour hook up. BUT TO EACH TO THEIR FUCKING OWN, right? If we want to call people hoes. *eye roll* Anyways that was me ranting but I learned that not every “friend” is your friend. And keep your moves, your business and your love life on the low. Period. Because at the end of the day you really have your own back, no one else really does. And no one wants to see you succeed in life.

I got close to my family once again and spent the whole summer with all of my aunts, uncles, brother/sister in laws and cousins, and of course my little cutie pies. I attended over 9 weddings in the summer, including both of my cousins. All of my cousins live in the East Coast and whenever we are all together it is so fun! I miss them so much!

My skin cleared soooooo much MASHALLAH! That it literally shocks me every time I look into the mirror. I had to cut off coke out of my life, I was so addicted to it and I just had to drink it with every meal. But Im glad I get to still drink coffee. :D I broke out so much back in 2015-2016 and it had to do with my stalker and a lot of stress on my mind and hormones jumping around lol. But you always have to take care of yourself and make sure youre always healthy. You should be your number one priority, ALWAYS.

I met a guy named Haroon. He came to see me all the way from Virginia. No, I didn’t fall in love- and I didnt think about marriage while being with this guy. I wasn’t messing around. But life threw something tough at me which made me come back to reality… So I lowered my expectations but not my standards with Haroon. We were I guess “perfect”. Our humor, our mentality, he was accepting and so was I. He was down to come see me every month and he opened up to me and made me trust him back with my life. He went back, and feelings changed. Even if it was temporary it felt good be treated like how I should be treated. I guess it was God’s way of making me realize that just because I’m sad right now doesnt mean I always will be. It was a trial and error, and it failed. But there is someone meant for everyone and you will too one day find someone.

My sister graduated from law school and found her boo thang. I am so happy for my sister, she is so hard working, ambitious, dedicated, intelligent, witty, sarcastic and a hot ass lawyer. Lol. Im being bias, but if she wasnt my sister I would still say that. She went through hell and back with law school, family drama and idiotic boys that cant fight for someone. But she never gave up her dream- which was to finish law school and become a lawyer. Along with her life being so hectic and all she found someone that matches her perfectly, alhumdulillah. I am so happy for her and Beez (thats not his name… Thats my nick name for him). He is so like… words cant describe. He came to pick my family and I up, he hugged my parents, he calls my mom “mama”, he gets along with my brother, he makes fun of me for being a yelp nerd. He just respects us so much. I am so proud of you too Badr bhai, for graduating and inshallah being part of our crazy ass family. But…. I have to say they are like power couple goals, mA! He spoils her like crazy and its cute. I wish one day we all find “the one” and spoil them with our love. *Did I mention hes half Spanish + Pakistani…. HOLY HELL. His sisters are hot. Lol*

And to end it… I got the closure that I was wanting to get. Thank you Farhan for giving me closure over and over again. Im sorry you had to hear me cry, because I think Ill probably cry for a while but its going to be okay. I wish and pray that you have an amazing new year and whatever you pray for you get. Because you deserve the best and you deserve to smile, laugh and be treated like a king.

But does that mean Im ok? No. But will it take time? Yes. I pray that I heal so quick that I can feel again, I wont be bitter, I wont be afraid to let someone in. I just want to be Salia again. Thats all.

2018-

Im ready for a new year, new hellos, new smiles, new laugher, new people, new adventures, new beginnings, new everything. I am ready. I definitely want to work on a few things on myself. I am not a perfect soul in this world. I hate that I have such horrible anger issues, I get mad easily to the point where I want to cry. I want to be my number one fan always. I want to love myself like no one else is going too because no one is going too… jk! And to heal. All I really want is to heal and be the old me. I want to stop crying al the time.To love again, to feel again, I dont want to be numb anymore, or bitter when a guy talks to me… I just want to be soft and gentle. But It will take time.

I hope this year not only brings me happiness and joy but to all of my followers. The more I write and have people follow me I see that everyone is struggling, heart broken, happy yet sad. I see it all. I am healing too but I am always here to listen to anyone. Ive been blogging since I was 18 and Im so glad I became a tumblr nerd because I met a few people from here, ive had a few conversations and I learn about my followers all the time. You guys deserve all the happiness, all the smiles and success in the world. Thanks for always listening to my rants and posts. Love you all! I hope you guys have an amazing New Year!

XOXO,

SALIA SHEIKH.

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bilingualplots · 7 years

Text

That concert crazy me!

Well, short-long story. I am a huge and mega fan of one direction but actually I fond of Harry the most. The curly, green eyed member. I’ve been the fan from a long ago. I had been their concert once, when they came to did some tour on my country. I was crazy as hell and excited for that. That time, I was a freshman year of college and it was hell, sleepless and tiring period especially when you join in medical department. No time to play, going around even in a weekend sometimes you have lectures and have to do some shits. So it challenged me to go to that concert. I didnt know my schedule when the concert held. But I bought the tickets anyway. I got the vip tickets well I bought it from my own money. No, I didnt work or earn money I mean I dont have time to do that. That money was from scholarships I got. I spent the whole money for the concert without even thinking. I was so glad I didnt spent the money yet cause before I knew that One Direction would held a concert, I was planning to buy some woman things to spend that money.

My senior high school friend who also adore One Direction, asked me to go to the concert together. I agreed of course cause the concert didnt held on my city its miles away from the city I lived but still It didnt down me at all.

So I gave it all to my friend. Nadya–well but I call her Lia. She bought the tickets, I just needed to transferred the money to her. And yup. We got the freaking tickets. Yeay!

Days after days went. And it was a couple days from the day of the concert. And guess what, a day before the concert I was going to have a test. Practice test. Shit man. I was crazy I even wanted to cry but I decided to stay cool. The test’s day began, I finished the test and felt good cause the test went well. It was over around four or five in the evening and guess what again? my plane fly at six and I hadn’t even packed my things. I just had one shirt in my mind, the shirt that written “Harry Styles’s wife” that I was going to wear for the concert.

After doing the test, my lecturer suprised me by saying she wanted to say something so we have to wait her. And the clock was never stop and it taunt me in every seconds it ticked. My friend, Lia had been calling me all the time and all I could do was just make her calm her tits.

My lecturer was so long and I just couldn’t stand it. So I decided to just go and didnt mind it. I was just guessing that she wont even checked the list of attendance. I drove the car so fast to my home and pick my things. It felt so relived when I arrived at home and find my mom help me to packed my things.

My dad drove me to the airport and when I was on my way, my classmate called me. I pick the call and she sounded like she was wispering. My heart beaten so fast when she said that the lecturer was calling us one by one and check the list of attendance. I was freak out cause I didnt want my lecturer missunderstood and think that I dont attend the test. But what can I do. I was on my way to airport and my plane was flying in half hour.

When I arrived at airport I was acting crazy and run to my senior high school friend. My mom and hers doing the mom’s thing. Kissing cheeks, hugging in mother way and all.

We said good by to our mothers and passed the gates, my phone was ringing and I pick it up found massage from my classmate said that the lecturer had stopped calling the students name right before my names turn. Maybe two couple of name left until my name called but she decided to just stop and say that she believed all the students attended the class. And bye that, I thanked God. It was like God indeed had planned that I was allowed to go to the concert and meet my idola.

I and Lia, we both arrived around 8 night or 9 I’m not so sure, and we got picked by my other friend who also wanted to go to the concert. Her name was Mia. She lived in Bandung cause she studied there and what another lucky I got was Mia’s mom treated us by booked two rooms in a hotel near GBK (the place that held the concert) and not only rooms, she also sent someone to guide us around the city with car, so we didnt have to use public transportation and all, pluss I could save my money.

We checked in and going to the room directly. My friend Mia thought that Lia wanted to bring her friend so Mia booked two rooms but Lia’s friend cancelled and sold the ticket to stranger.

Three of us stayed in the same room cause Mia was scared to stay alone in the other room. And yes that one room was useless. At midnight we decided to order food, we chose Bonchon but ended up ordered KFC cause Bochon didnt pick the call, I assumed it was already close.

The delivered man was so long and we ended up sleeping until he arrived and I didnt realize the delivered man already standing in front of our room for maybe hours. I’m not sure how long. I took the money and handed it to him. Said sorry multiple times for making him wait for too long. We didnt forget to give more tips for the mistake we made.

We ended up ate the food maybe at 2 or 3 in the morning and go back to sleep with leftovers which I ate at 6 in the morning and went back to sleep again. I know you felt disgust but I dont care. I’m still alive any way.

We wake up at almost 10 in the morning and rushed to lobby to take our breakfast. Cause it was closed if it was up 10 morning.

After that, we decided to get ready. We went to change the voucher to the real ticket. When we arrived at ticket changer, we saw so much people I mean really much people who queued to change tickets like us. We were like going to die standing in a very long line, stress out until securty came and asked us to show our voucher. Lia took it from her bag and that security told us that vip gate wasnt where we stand. He took Lia to the other gates and went through and disappeared. I and Mia waited outside cause it wasnt allowed us to come, the three ticket was named by Lia and her guess so she had to take it by her self.

I took a seat with Mia and not to long after sitting, Lia came from that gates with big smile and tickets along with the handband in her hand. Gosh! I couldn’t believe I was on my way to see my Idola. The Idola that I only see through the glass of television, laptop or phone. And in some hours later, I was going to meet him and inhale the same air with them.

Dont tell me that Im so naiff or Lame cause I’m not. You dont know how it feels when you finally got to meet the people who gave you so much changed. In a better way. I mean, without fangirling 1D I would probably doesnt speak or write english things like now, like this, or I couldn’t knew or have friends abroad or anything else. This fangirling made me alive. So just shut the hell up and dont judge me.

The concert would be held on 7 evening and it was like 12 afternoon when we had done change the voucher into real freaking tickets. So we decided to go to mall cause Mia need to buy some clothes. We arrived to the Mall, I foget what Mall and going to Zara. Mia and Nadya bought shirt, well Mia bought bunch of clothes and a couple of pants and if I’m not mistaken she bought a couple of shoes too. In Zara I met some famous people who always showed in local tv. Such a Najwa, the owner of Mata Najwa show or some of Ftv actor, I was not sure who, cause I didnt pay attention to them. It was just Lia who said that.

After that, Mia still went through the shop find something else to buy. I didnt know what it is. So me and Lia decided to just go around the mall, we stopped to buy some ice cream and at CD shop. I bought two cd of one direction and some books of it while Lia was busy to take pictures from the architecture of the Mall and all. Yes, she is that girl who are great with pencil, pen and all, drawing and made house in a paper. Architecture people said.

After that we went back to hotel, we decided to have lunch, wanted to have delivery again but Lia againts it so we went to the restaurant near the hotel and had some yakiniku. After that we went back to the hotel and had some rest until we wake up in the evening maybe it seven and it was so late, so we prepared as fast as possible.

We ended up arrive at 8 night with clearer way to the gates. Cause people is already in the stadium. I know. We were late. It was sucks!

Then, we ran before that I bought some bandana with a light in it and some small posters. We went to the gates. I bought mineral waters which was so expensive but I didnt mind at all cause I was thirsty and It was impossible to go out for just a bottle of mineral water.

We went through the door the vip seat and saw tons of people. I didnt see any seat at all so we went out and take the other door. I saw the yellow area and already knew it was Vvip seat cause I saw some famous people there too, like actor and singers of my country. we got exactly three seat right besode the vvip area and it was so good for view. We got another lucky again.

Another of another lucky we got was the stars hadnt come out yet. The stage still play some song from 5Sos and play the commercials tour of 1D itself. We didnt late.

And time flies I grew crazy on my head. Shit. I cant stand my self I was so nervous, they always played us by act like the stars was going out but actually no. And it was getting crazier when we saw Niall run across and went back to the backstage. There was so much noise and loud that made me goosebumps. Until that time, that time i couldn’t forget until now. That time when I cried, shit dont judge me for being so exaggerated cause I did admit that I had this fascinated and butterflies feeling.

One direction came out, with the intro of Clouds. I was screaming like crazy until some bodyguards who suited like army looked at me like seriously girl?! But I didnt care at all.

I jumped and scream along the song and all very time Harry great in my way I scream again and said that, those greating were belong to me like he looked at me directly. I didnt even put single care when some girls gave disgusted look. I just enjoyed the show.

All I did was cry and scream along to the song and thats all, I didint even care to record cause I was just to happy and need to enjoy the music and show. Lia was screaming like me, but she scream for Liam and I scream for Harry. Then Mia was so crazy with Zayn but yes, Zayn didnt come up to the show. But still she loves 1D maybe Niall, I think.

We sang along didnt mind our bag which were in the seat, possibly could be stolen anytime but I didnt care. All my focus went on the staege, I couldnt even wanted to blink. Gosh! That was so amazing, I could feel my heart beating so hard right now writing this thing.

After that, I couldn’t tell you the details of the concert cause it will need the whole day to write it. All you have to know is directioner are crazy, I never stop to get goosebumps cause the crowd never stop to sing along the star on the stage. Even Liam and Niall admitted our noises was so loud than other. Aside from that, all I could feel was joy, happiness, exited, crazy, amazed and some kind of that been mixed make my body turn, my eyes burned from crying. Happy crying.

We went back at 12 night and directly to the airport cause my plane flight on 1.45. We arrived at maybe 1. I both with Lia said goodbye to Mia, shared hugs and kisses then left. We waited for 45 minutes. When I was waiting I was so tired from the jumping and screaming so I decided to lay down at the chair, didnt care about people looked like I was grazy girl who lay to the 3 seats.

I close my eyes but interupted by Lia who screamed like hell. I asked her why and she answered me by saying that Zayn left the group. Officially. I didnt believe her until she showed me the statement on official facebook of 1D it self. I was shocked cause I love Zayn. He’s good and had the highest note from all.

But yup. It didnt bother me that much cause all I loved was about Harry who is still in 1d until now.

We landed on my city right about 5.30 morning. I was rushed cause I had to go to school 7 cause there this assistant of lecturer who was scared and I just couldn’t be late. My father picked me and I couldn’t go because I didnt want to left Lia alone. Until her father come up so I went back home asked my dad to rush.

Arrived at home I run to my room and had a fastes bath of my life. Rush to the school. I was so glad I didnt late and some of my friend was late. They were shocked saw me sitting on my chair. I mean, last night was the best night I’ve ever spent and here I was going school and all.

Yes that was amazing. I know.

Oh yeah. Not forget another crazier that happened. Lia, my friend was having final test at the exact day of the concert. And no one expect what she did, that was.. she asked her friend to pretend to be her and doing her test.

Yah that was crazier than me. But she ended up passed the final test well.

#1dindo #funofarni #storyofarni

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