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let-it-raines · 5 years

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CS JJ Day 22: what a plot twist you were (1/1)

Emma’s life is solid. She has her few friends, a job that pays decently enough, and a schedule that works for her. She doesn’t want any of that to change. But when she gets a call saying she’s been left a house in Storybrooke, Maine, she ends up leaving Boston intending to deal with the house and then return to her life like nothing has changed.

Intentions never quite work out, however, especially when she runs into a blue-eyed bartender who just might entice her to stay.

Rating: Mature

a/n: This story is the result of late night baby feedings, leaving plot notes on my phone in the middle of the night, and then not understanding what the heck the notes section on my phone means when I wake up in the morning. Thanks to the ladies at @csjanuaryjoy for bringing some joy to January 💙

Found on AO3 | Here |

-/-

Thick bunches of trees with deep green leaves line the road. They’re on each side of the concrete, dark gray with a faded yellow line in the middle, and she can’t see anything in the woods through the fullness of the forest. She’s never seen anything like this, not that’s so natural, and the darkness of the sky and the gentle rain falling down make it almost haunting.

She’s not lost, but it sure as hell feels like it.

“Keep going for another five miles,” her GPS says in the British accent she can’t figure out how to change.

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma huffs, turning up her radio and increasing the speed of her wipers. “I got it.”

In a split second, the rain turns from gentle to harsh, water beating down against Emma’s old bug’s windows so hard that the glass may break, and if she could see the sides of the road, she’d turn off the road and wait the storm out. She’s got a bag of Chex Mix and several bottles of water in the back. She could definitely wait it out. But she’s also ready to get to where she’s going and out of this car, so she pushes through and keeps driving until she reads the sign in front of her.

Welcome to Storybrooke.

Finally.

Emma’s phone rings in her passenger seat, and she reaches over to press it, hitting the buttons to put it on speaker.

“Hey, Rubes.”

“Emma Swan,” Ruby huffs out, “where the hell are you? I got home from work expecting you to be here so we could eat entire gallons of ice cream, and I do mean gallons and not pints, but you were gone. I thought tonight was our pity party night.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m…going on a trip.”

“You have never gone on a trip that wasn’t with me.” “I like to try new things.”

“You’re a liar. You hate new things. Seriously. Where are you?”

“Storybrooke, Maine.” “What the hell is a Storybrooke?”

“I don’t know,” Emma huffs, peering forward to try to see where she’s going. Buildings are starting to come into view, short ones all pressed together like some kind of Hallmark movie downtown where they decorate for every holiday with an insane budget that’s not at all realistic. Maybe this is the place where they shoot those movies. The name of it sounds made up enough. “It’s just somewhere new.”

“I repeat: you are a liar.”

Emma hums as she tries to ignore Ruby and look for a place to stay tonight. It’s only ten o’clock, but everything seems to be closed, all the storefront lights turned off to cloud the town in near darkness.

Of-freaking-course.

“Look, can I tell you about it later, okay? I don’t really want to get into it. I should be home next week.”

“Next week? How are you going to be – ”

Emma ends the call and switches her phone onto silent. Ruby is going to keep calling until Emma answers again, but she’s too tired to explain it tonight. All she wants is a warm bed and possibly a shower. She probably should have looked up hotels in this town before she came, but it was a last-minute decision fueled by the need for a change of scenery.

She pulls into a parking lot between two buildings and then stares up at the neon sign on one of them. It might be the only light on. “Who names a bar The Rabbit Hole? This town keeps getting weirder.”

There she goes talking to herself again. Maybe she’s the one who is getting weirder.

Sighing, she shuts off her car, grabs her phone, wallet, and keys before running inside the building, only getting slightly soaked. The lights inside are dimmed and it smells of cigarette smoke and spilled beer. Sweat is also likely in the air, but it’s better if she doesn’t think too much about all of the disgusting things that have been spilled in this place. The bar isn’t full, only a few people playing pool or throwing darts, and Emma ignores them to walk up to the bar and sit down on a stool.

“Can I have a glass of whatever your strongest whiskey is?”

“That’s like asking to light a fire in your stomach.”

“Whiskey,” she repeats, tapping her nail against the bar top.

The bartender hasn’t even turned around to look at her, but he nods his head, reaching up on a shelf to grab a bottle and then pouring her a glass. She doesn’t bother looking at him either, simply taking the glass and downing half of it so that it easily burns, most likely lighting a fire in her stomach. She should be asking about a hotel room and getting out of here, but the reality of the past few days is starting to hit her enough that she needs a drink.

Boyfriend cheated.

Couldn’t catch her skip that would have paid rent for the next two months, something that’s been happening a lot lately.

Received a call from a lawyer saying her foster mom from when she was fifteen left her a house in Storybrooke, Maine.

That woman had been crazy. She’d been Emma’s best foster parent, one that genuinely cared, and then one day she pushed Emma into the street when there was oncoming traffic because she’d believed Emma had magic or some bullshit like that. The woman was declared mentally unstable, and yet somehow her lawyers have allowed her to give a vacation home to Emma, someone she has no relation to when Emma knows the woman had family. Sisters, she thinks.

Walsh cheating and the skip being elusive suck, obviously, but they haven’t quite shaken her to her core in the same way.

Her past is her past, and she doesn’t want to relive it.

So why the hell is she here?

“Are you passing through, or are you visiting?”

“Hm?”

“Are you waiting out the storm, love?” the bartender repeats in a deep, foreign accent. He sounds like her freaking GPS. “Or are you visiting the town?”

Emma finally looks up from her drink to see him. The light in here is so poor that she can’t quite make out his face, but there’s a hint of ginger in his beard covering a sharp jawline. A quick glance down shows her muscles under a tight plaid shirt, and that has her looking back up. He’s got dark, messy hair that’s been tousled one too many times, but mostly, all she can see is the blue of his eyes.

Damn.

“I could be from here,” she sighs, running her finger of the rim of her drink.

He scoffs and tilts his head to the side, tongue running over his bottom lip. “This is true. About twenty-thousand people live here, and while I don’t know each and every one of them, I do know that this bar really only sees regulars in here. It’s not often that I get to see someone new.”

“So you’re guessing I’m new on a hunch.”

“Ah, well, that and the fact that your t-shirt says ‘Boston Bail Bonds’ on it. I’m assuming that can only be found in one place.”

“Maybe I just collect t-shirts.”

The man clicks his tongue. “Maybe. Can I get you anything else, Boston?”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Another glass of this and directions to the nearest hotel.”

“That I can do for you, love.”

“Not your love, buddy.”

“Pity that.”

She downs the rest of her drink before he refills her glass and then slides a piece of paper in front of her, quickly drawing a map of downtown and where she can find a hotel. It’s a bed and breakfast behind a restaurant, and Emma commits it to memory because there’s no way this piece of paper is going to make it through the weather outside.

After she pays her tab, Emma makes her way out of the bar with the umbrella the bartender gave her, and quickly hops in her car to drive the few feet to the bed and breakfast only to find that there’s no parking and she has to park back at the bar and run across the street in this New England monsoon.

This town makes no sense.

And she could totally be staying in Ingrid’s house for free, since it is her house now, but that’s creepy and disturbed on so many levels.

Then again, so is all of the floral wallpaper at Granny’s Bed and Breakfast.

“Welcome to Storybrooke, Emma Swan,” the old woman says as she hands Emma the keys to her room.

-/-

Emma sleeps until two in the afternoon.

She doesn’t mean to, not really. She was supposed to meet with Ingrid’s lawyer about the house at noon, but apparently she can’t be a responsible adult and make her appointments on time. The moment she wakes up and realizes it, she calls the law firm and tries to reschedule only to be told that she’ll have to wait at least two weeks because Mr. Nolan has gone out of town for vacation.

He has got to be kidding her.

He’s not. He’s going to Nevada to visit his wife’s family.

Emma groans and falls back onto the springy bed. What is she supposed to do now? She wanted this over with, and as much as she deals with the law on a regular basis, it’s more dealing with scummy guys not paying child support or assaulting someone. It’s not real estate law or anything having to deal with what happens when someone leaves you a freaking house.

Her phone buzzes next to her.

Walsh Osbourne: Can we talk?

Walsh Osbourne: It wasn’t what you think it was.

Walsh Osbourne: Please, baby. I just want to talk. I love you.

Emma could vibrate out of her skin she’s so angry to see texts from him. What a douchebag. Real scum of the earth, that one.

Emma Swan: I hate when you call me baby. You should know that. I pointed it out every fucking time. We’re over, Walsh. I don’t deal with cheaters.

The little bubbles pop up, but she doesn’t wait to see the message. Instead, she blocks his number and keeps herself from having to ever hear from him again.

Asshole.

Food. She needs food. It’s too early to have another drink, but food sounds like a great idea.

After showering and getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a white sweater, she runs downstairs to the diner attached to the bed and breakfast. There’s only one other person in there, and it doesn’t bode well for Emma not getting food poisoning from the food. But the grilled cheese and onion rings end up being good, the hot chocolate even more so, and when she’s finished, Emma tips her waitress and asks her for directions to the police station.

If she’s going to be here for two weeks – because there’s no way in hell she’s going back and then doing this drive again – she might as well see if she can make some money. She knew getting licensed in Maine would come in handy eventually.

“What can I help you with, lass?”

“Um, yeah, my name is Emma Swan, and I was wondering if you guys were in need of a bail bondswoman.”

“Graham Humbert,” he says, sticking his hand out for her to shake. “We usually deal with bonds in the neighboring country. They have an office already, though, so if you’re thinking about setting one up, I’m not sure you’ll have much business.”

“I do more of the tracking down than the office work.”

He cocks his head to the side and softly smiles at her. She’s only seen two men in this town so far, and both of them have been attractive and had foreign accents.

They’re in rural Maine. That makes no sense. None of this does.

“So more of a bounty hunter then?”

“It’s a mixture. So do you have any jobs? Short-term probably.”

“Do you know how to mix a drink?”

Emma turns to where the familiar voice is sitting. It’s the bartender from last night, and in the light of day, he looks much the same but with clearer features. It’s just those damn eyes – they’re even bluer in the sunlight, and they have to be contacts or something.

“A few.”

“Well, Swan,” he sighs, her name curled on his tongue with his accent, “I’m looking for an extra hand at the bar if you’re going to be in town for awhile. If Sheriff Humbert doesn’t have something for you, of course.”

“I’m sorry, lass. I don’t think I do. You’d have to go to Easton and ask them there.”

Emma sighs and turns to the other man. “You’d hire me just like that? You don’t want to run background checks or call my references?”

He waves her away, standing from the desk and sliding over paperwork to Sheriff Humbert. “No, I’m good. I can train you this afternoon, and then if you’re dreadful, I’ll let you go.”

“Do I get to keep tips?”

His smile curves up on one side. “Of course. Killian Jones. It’s a pleasure to meet you, milady. Or, rather, to make your acquaintance again.”

Great. The guy who’s giving her a job is also some freak who talks like he’s from another century.

(Or maybe just likes he’s British.)

Killian finishes up whatever business he had in the police station, talking to Graham for a few minutes, before he asks her if she’s ready to go. They walk the few blocks back to The Rabbit Hole, which looks far seedier in the light of day, and Killian unlocks the door before holding it open for her.

“So are you a gentleman or something?”

“I’m always a gentleman, love,” he says, leaning into her and lowering his voice. “Though, don’t feel special. I do like to hold the door open for most anyone, just as I call most people ‘love.’”

Her cheeks flush red, memories of her grumbling about his term of endearment last night. “Well, I’ll try not to be too disappointed.”

He chuckles and keeps walking through the bar, flicking the light switches until the place is illuminated. It’s actually much cleaner on the inside than it was last night, the haze of the night gone, and she can see where all of the chairs are resting on the table and the floor has been freshly mopped.

“So, it’s pretty simple. We open at four and close at two. Weekdays are calm, just a few regulars who almost exclusively drink what’s on tap, and then on the weekends we’re usually a little more packed with everyone trying to unwind or find a date.”

“People come here to find dates?”

“It’s the only bar in town, so if that’s how you’re looking for a date, yes.” He stares at her, but when she doesn’t say anything back, he nods his head and keeps walking through the bar. “Restroom is back down that hallway as well as the utility closet. The kitchen is directly behind the bar. My old buddy doubled as bartender and cook before he moved. Can you do both?”

“Not unless you want your customers to get food poisoning.”

His eyes crinkle with his smile. “We’ll figure something out then, Swan.”

-/-

Her first night at the bar is hectic.

There’s a bachelor party from two towns over coming in on a Wednesday night of all things, and every one of them hits on her. They don’t do it well either. How one of them is getting married is a mystery to her because he both doesn’t know how to flirt and obviously has no respect for his future wife. Killian asks her if they’re bothering her, she tells him she can handle herself, and they move on with their night and their jobs.

That’s pretty much the only time they talk the entire time unless he’s giving her some kind of instruction. Being behind the bar is a completely different experience than the two of them being on opposite sides.

It’s quieter, much quieter.

At least she thinks that it is until it’s six nights in, a rainy Monday evening much like the one when she got here, and they have no customers.

None.

He asks why she’s in town, she evades the question again, but eventually the quiet begins to get to her, and she huffs and starts talking while focusing on getting a stain off the bar top.

“Just wanted to get away.”

“Ah, so relationship problems.”

She turns to him then. “Wait, just because I’m a woman means my only problems can be relationship problems?”

His brows arch. “I simply meant any relationship. Romantic, familial, friendship. I find most everybody who’s running from something is running for one of those reasons. I’ve never known too many people to leave a place because they were upset over a job.”

“Yeah, well that seems like something a personal thing. People run for all kinds of reasons.”

“Fair enough.” He tugs the sleeves on his flannel shirt up, rolling the cuffs until they’re at his elbows, and Emma gets a glance of toned forearms and angry red scars inching up his left arm. She wants to ask, but it’s none of her business. And asking him questions means he’ll feel more entitled to ask her the same things. “Your business is your business. Simply figured you might want to make a little conversation since we don’t have any business.”

“Nope,” Emma sighs, “I’m good.”

The next night is better, and the night after that. Though, Emma does realize that she’s now fascinating to the town as a new person, which they apparently don’t get a lot of. It’s obnoxious, but it also means the bar starts getting a steady stream of people who are curious as to who she is and what she’s doing.

At least they give good tips. She’s all about the tips.

“You’d think you had magical powers for how they’re all staring at you,” Killian mumbles as he walks past her with a tray of drinks.

“It’s creepy.”

“It dies down. Trust me.”

For a moment, she wants to ask, to get to know more about him, but she doesn’t want to open that can of warms. It’d be too difficult to close.

-/-

“This place is a piece of shit.”

“It’s certainly got character,” David Nolan says, obviously uncomfortable with her language. He is not what she expected Ingrid’s lawyer to look like, but he’s what she’s got. A forty-year-old wearing a flannel shirt and dirty boots while meeting a client is definitely unlike any attorney she’s ever met, but so far, she doesn’t mind him. “Ingrid was never here. I only met her once or twice. I think this was her aunt’s house, so it’s definitely on the older side.”

Emma nods and presses her foot down on the porch only for the wood to start cracking underneath her. The foundation of the house is probably falling apart, the windows are broken, roof shingles are falling off, there’s some rot on the columns, and she hasn’t even gotten to go inside.

“Did she not hire someone to do maintenance?”

“What do you think?”

Emma scoffs and presses against the front door until it’s opening for her and revealing dust-covered furniture and more decay. It’s not as bad as the exterior, but it’s not good. “So, what exactly do I do here? Can I refuse the house?”

“You can.”

“But if I do keep it, what happens then?”

“Well, it’s yours, and you’re responsible for it and for paying property tax. It’s not much, but honestly, I think your best option is fixing the place up and then putting it on the market. It’s basically free money.”

“There’s no such thing.”

David laughs, and she can’t help but feel like he’d be someone who would be good to have around in life. “Think on it, okay? You have some time.”

-/-

“Do you know anything about house repairs?”

“Pardon, love?”

“Home repairs,” she repeats, tipping back her bottle of water. “You look like you’re…handy. Do you know how to repair things like windows and floors or putting a hinge back in a cabinet?”

“Well,” Killian starts, “window frames I can do. Window glass repairs require a professional. Hinges I can do, though. I think I’d have to know what kind of floor repair you need. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

Killian quirks his brow. “Believe it or not, Swan, but I’m actually quite perceptive. You’re not asking for no reason.”

“So I’ve gathered.”

“Oh, so you’ve been watching me then?”

“I’ve been working with you every single day for two weeks.” Emma rolls her eyes at his smirk. “I notice things.”

“Funny, so do I. You’re more of an open book than you think.”

With that, Killian walks away to move across the bar to tend to a group of linemen sitting at the table in the back. They all go by some kind of ridiculous nickname, and she can’t remember any of them at the moment despite them always being in here. But the asshole probably said that line and walked away just to annoy her. He seems to like to do that, getting some kind of reaction out of her and then walking away.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? She’s an open book?

Killian’s words nag at her all night, his accent curling around each of them in her memory, but he goes on as if everything is normal. Nothing about her life is normal right now. She’s living in a strange town, sleeping in a bed and breakfast with flowers on all of the walls, and working at a bar all the while avoiding everything about her life.

“Someone left me a house in town,” Emma blurts out two hours later. They’ve only got seven people in the bar now, and she can’t distract herself by flattering men so they give her more tips. “That’s why I’m here. I had to deal with it, and then the lawyer was out of town for two weeks because apparently that’s a thing he does. But I went and saw the house today, and it’s a disaster. That’s why I asked about the home repairs.”

Killian’s mouth curls from one side to the other, and she wants to smack it off of his smug face. She also kinds of wants to kiss it.

Woah. Where did that thought come from?

(Probably from having her life turned upside down and losing her boyfriend and being left a house by her crazy ex foster mother.)

(And staying in this town instead of going home and calling her boss about her not being available for jobs.)

(Not having Ruby to complain to likely doesn’t help.)

“Are you planning on living here then, Swan?” He leans forward and props his chin in his palm while his brows reach his hairline. “Did you find me that irresistible?”

“Shut up.”

“You have a way with words.” Emma groans at him, and Killian keeps on smirking. “Look, I’ve been renovating this bar and the apartment above it for about a year now, so I know a thing or two about home renovations, as I told you. I can take a look at the house for you and answer any of your questions.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“You were asking for advice earlier.”

“But I don’t need any help!”

He holds his hands up and steps away. “I apologize, love. I seemed to have misread the situation. I won’t do it again.”

Shit.

She messed up, didn’t she? Of course she did. Why is she always so rude to people who are trying to help her?

“Killian?”

“Mhm?”

“Would you like to come look at the house with me tomorrow before work?”

He turns to her and smiles again, a little glint in his eyes. “Meet me here at noon.”

-/-

Killian tells her the place isn’t in as bad as shape as she thinks it is. Emma can’t imagine that as a giant spider crawls across the living room, but he swears that it’s true.

He also offers to help for no cost to her other than the supplies.

“Why would you do that?” “I actually quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me, and I enjoy the work.”

And for some insane reason, she makes the decision to stay in this weird as hell town and fix up this house so that she can sell it and leave this whole thing behind her. Her life was going to shit in Boston, and she needs a break from that. She needs some kind of change and purpose, and maybe she’ll end up being able to fix this house up and sell it for enough money that she comes into an actual savings account for the first time in her life.

What a thought.

On slow nights at the bar, Emma watches videos on the best ways to paint window trim and how to buff hardwood floors. She looks into the electrical stuff too, but that seems like a recipe for disaster. Or death. Really, it looks like a recipe for her death.

Definitely.

Killian will walk by, muttering comments under his breath about the videos she’s watching and how absolutely inane some of the people are, but she ignores him and keeps trying to learn. Fixing up a house, even a rotting pit like this one, shouldn’t be too hard. It’ll be fine.

It starts with having all of the wiring inside the walls stolen, which is decidedly not fine.

“Who the hell steals electrical wiring?” Emma huffs as she and Killian walk through the house, cold morning air nipping at their extremities. “What’s the purpose of that?”

“They sell it.” “For how much?”

“Not much, but it’s something.” He hits his hammer against the hole (one of them, at least) in the drywall. “I can call Scarlet and have him fix your wiring, but we’ll have to fix the walls ourselves.”

“I can’t afford an electrician right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, love. He owes me a favor.” “A favor to rewire an entire house?”

He winks. “Trust me.”

“Don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second, Jones.”

He freaking bows, throwing in an exaggerated wink too. “I would despair if you did.”

The entire month of September is spent the same way. She and Killian meet up at the house at noon with takeout from Granny’s for lunch (which is really breakfast for them since they wake up at eleven most days) and work on the house until they have to go to the bar. They’re the only two people working there right now, which has got to be against some labor law, but Emma doesn’t mind not having the days off. She likes the money and likes keeping busy. When she asks Killian about it, though, he simply hums and says that he hasn’t taken a day off since he bought the place.

She had no idea he was the owner. She thought he was the manager or something who happened to be living there.

(Not her brightest moment.)

How does a British man end up owning a bar in a small town in Maine?

She almost asks, but it’s not her business. None of his life is.

But that doesn’t keep her from learning that he’s got a penchant for rum and for double-stuffed Oreos. There’s a dirty joke there, and Killian most definitely makes it. He’s also got a penchant for making a dirty joke or sliding an innuendo into every possible situation. It’d be creepy if it wasn’t so damn charming sometimes.

But it’s not charming. Nope. It’s just…it’s who he is. That’s all. And it’s something she’s got to get used to since this is apparently the man she’s going to be spending all of her time with. It would scare her because in a situation like this, she’d usually have already had sex with him and then have some kind of meltdown. She doesn’t know why she does stuff like that, but she does.

(That’s a lie. She definitely knows why.)

Emma is not going to sleep with him, though. It’s not going to happen. Ever. She is not going to be doing the whole dating – or not dating – thing again anytime soon. Or forever.

It’s October when she starts to feel like maybe this house has hope. It’s still a mess, but it’s making definite progress.

It’s also when she realizes that maybe she doesn’t hate this town so much. It’s still weird and kooky and doesn’t quite make sense, but it’s also full of good people. David, Ingrid’s lawyer, ends up pitching in a hand on window repairs, and his wife Mary Margaret may be one of the sweetest people Emma has ever met. She bakes food for Emma and talks paint colors and cabinet stains and always has a smile on her face. Will Scarlet is always lurking around, even once the electrical work is done, and as obnoxious as he can be, Emma kind of likes him. He’s helpful and kind of funny and he beats Killian’s ass at pool at the bar every single time they play.

Killian pouts and mopes around after he loses, and Emma gets an infinite amount of joy out of it.

“You look pathetic, Jones.”

“I do not look pathetic.”

“You do.” She turns around behind the bar to tease him as he grabs a bottle of his favorite rum off the shelf and pours himself a small glass, gulping it down. “You should really learn not to be such a sore loser.”

His brow arches. “Oh, and you wouldn’t be a sore loser?”

“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t lose.”

Killian exhales with his laugh before putting his glass down and inching closer to her until his back is behind hers, warmth from his body covering her so that little bumps pop up over her skin and her breath hitches. It takes everything in her not to shiver while her stomach flips.

“Is that so?”

“It is,” she whispers, trying to keep her breath steady.

“Well,” Killian whispers right back, his scruff brushing up against her cheek and sending a shiver down her spine, dammit, “I do love a challenge.”

With that, he moves away so quickly that his heat immediately evaporates, and if it wasn’t for the swirling in her stomach, Emma would swear it was all a dream.

What the hell just happened?

There’s a low whistle across the bar. “Emma fucking Swan.”

Emma whips her hair toward the sound, and her jaw may literally drop. “Ruby?”

“Oh, so you remember me,” Ruby scoffs. She’s smiling, but there’s fury in her eyes. “I figured you’d forgotten since we only talk on the phone and you’re not living in our apartment anymore.”

“What are you doing here, Rubes?” Emma asks as she leans over the bar to hug her. At least Ruby hugs back. She doesn’t have to, and Emma appreciates that.

Ruby settles down on the stool in front of her, and Emma realizes the entire bar is staring at the two of them. “I took off for your birthday, remember? We were going to binge watch TV and stuff our faces with junk food and feel no guilt about it.”

“Shit happened.”

“And by shit you mean Walsh cheating, your job sucking, and then this crazy lady leaving you a house even though she tried to kill you when you were a teenager?”

“Ruby,” Emma hisses, “shut up. Everyone can hear you, and I don’t want everyone knowing my business.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Emma doesn’t dare look over at Killian to see if he heard all that. She doesn’t need to. She knows that he heard it all. It’s that whole perceptive thing. “Do you want something to drink? Or eat? You must be so tired after the drive.”

“The biggest glass of wine you have. You know what I like.”

Emma nods and turns around to their wine selection before Killian walks up behind her again, this time putting more distance between them. It still feels like he’s right there though, like he never really left.

“You okay, love?”

“Just dandy.”

“Well, your use of the word ‘dandy’ makes me think otherwise.”

Emma rolls her eyes and looks up at him. His eyes are stupid concerned and stupid blue, and who does he think he is being so concerned about her when he barely knows her?

“I’m fine.”

“Hey, hot guy who’s flirting with my friend,” Ruby yells out. Killian’s brow raises at her as his eyes glance to the side. He’s silently asking her for permission to talk to Ruby, and her resolve deflates immediately. She nods and steps away with the wine, leaving him to Ruby. “What’s your name?”

“Killian Jones. Are you the infamous Ruby Lucas?”

“Ah, so you’ve heard of me. That’s funny because I’ve heard nothing about you.”

“You’re obviously much more interesting than me.”

Ruby takes a sip of the wine Emma pours for her before Emma is called to the other end of the bar to deal with some of the cops who are here after their shift. Her ears never leave Killian and Ruby’s conversation, though.

“I mean, obviously,” Ruby agrees, leaning forward so her boobs are nearly falling out of her dress. Emma almost drops a beer glass. “What exactly do you think you’re doing with Emma? She doesn’t need some knight in shining armor to rescue her just because she’s a little vulnerable right now. I mean, you obviously ran a background – ”

Emma’s grip loosens until the tray of beer glasses she was holding slips out of her hands and falls to the ground, glass splitting off into shards and covering the floor.

Shit.

“Don’t move, Swan,” Killian calls out, immediately moving away from Ruby and coming toward her, glass crunching underneath his boots. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” she croaks out. In truth, she doesn’t know. her heart is in her throat, and she can’t really breathe. “I’m fine.”

His eyes scan over hers, but he doesn’t dispute her words. “I’m going to clean this up, okay? Why don’t you go sit with your friend? Be careful. I’m not sure how thick your shoes are.”

All Emma can do is nod, and she’s basically a robot as she walks toward Ruby, who is still sipping on her wine and tapping away at her phone. Emma loves her, but sometimes she doesn’t think before she acts. Half the time it works out, and half the time it means Emma is stuck cleaning up Ruby’s messes.

(While Killian seems to be stuck cleaning up Emma’s.)

“What the hell?” she hisses, trying to keep quiet. “You’ve been here for ten minutes, and you’re already telling everyone shit they don’t need to know.” “I didn’t mean to! I mean, I figured he did know since you’re obviously sleeping with him as well as working for him.”

What the hell?

“I’m not sleeping with him. I’m not sleeping with anyone. And he didn’t run a background check on me. Killian’s a good guy, and he’s doing me a lot of favors, okay?”

“If you’re not sleeping with him, he definitely wants to sleep with you. Like, he’s having eye sex with you right now.” “You’re gross, and you have the mind of a teenage boy.”

“I’m speaking the truth,” Ruby nods while her mouth opens with a long yawn.

“Rubes, why don’t you go back to my hotel room, okay? It’s late, and you’re tired. I’ll meet you when my shift is over.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Emma nods, “and we can talk about what we’re going to do for my birthday tomorrow.” Ruby smiles, and Emma tries to let some of her anger fade away. This is her best friend, and she’s got her own faults just like Emma does. Hell, Emma pretty much ghosted her for two months, and Ruby isn’t even really mad. They’ve both got their issues. It’s fine. It’s life. Ruby has never done anything to purposefully hurt Emma.

Ruby takes Emma’s hotel key and leaves, and for the rest of her shift, Killian tiptoes around her. He’s timid and not making any of his jokes. There’s almost no personality to him, and for a few moments, she starts to believe that he’s mad at her. In actuality, he’s probably just realized he’s been working with someone with a criminal past for two months.

“Hey, Killian? Can we talk?”

“Swan – ” he hesitates, holding the chair he was about to put up.

“No, just, please let me explain some of this, some of what Ruby said.”

His lips are pressed tightly together. “You want to come upstairs? I have coffee there.”

“Coffee sounds great.”

They stop what they’re doing, and Killian turns on his heels to walk up to the second floor of the bar to where she knows his apartment is. She’s never been up this staircase, never even thought about it, but she follows him without question. His apartment isn’t much. It’s clean, which doesn’t shock her for how Killian is, and all of the appliances have been updated. Other than that, though, it’s pretty bare bones – brown leather couch, television mounted on the wall, coffee table full of books that should be on the tall bookshelves against the wall, and a bed with a deep blue comforter pushed back against the wall behind a half-wall.

Oh, and a coffee machine. An actual one. Not a Keurig.

That’s where Killian starts puttering around, not bothering to tell her to make herself at home or not to touch anything. His words can be flowery sometimes, but oftentimes he doesn’t say anything at all, simply letting her decide what she wants.

She kind of likes that.

Except for right now when she’s freaking out.

“So,” she begins.

“You want milk in your coffee right? I’m afraid I don’t have your preferred creamer.”

“Milk is fine. So, Killian, I – ”

“Look,” he starts, his voice gruff, “I don’t care about your past. We all have one, myself included, and it’s not great. So unless you’re a murderer or are going to rob me blind, I don’t need to know.” He turns to her as the coffee percolates and raises both brows, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. “Are you a murderer or are you going to rob me blind?”

“No,” Emma quietly admits.

“Then I know everything I need to know unless you really want to tell me why I would need to run a background check on you.”

She bites down on her lip, her stomach twirling. She never wants to tell anyone this, but the words are at the tip of her tongue. “I was sixteen, had just been taken out of Ingrid’s custody, and I was dating this older guy. I loved him, thought he loved me too, but then he stole some watches, framed me for it, and got the hell out of dodge. I went to jail for it, but I promise I didn’t do it. I’m not going to rob you blind. The only things I’ve ever stolen were some keychains and food when my foster parents didn’t give me dinner.”

Straightforward and only the facts. That’s the only way she can talk about Neal without hurling.

Killian’s brows furrow, and she wonders if he can express every emotion with just his eyebrows. It almost seems like it. “He’s a bastard. So is the bloke who cheated on you, by the way. A bloody fool.”

“I agree with that.”

Killian breathes out and turns around, opening up a cabinet to pull down a coffee mug, pouring milk and coffee into her cup before pouring black coffee into his. He hands hers over to her, and she immediately takes a sip while Killian stares down at his mug, tapping his fingers on the countertop.

And then he’s pulling up his Henley’s left sleeve until she can see those familiar red scars.

“I was in the Navy in England,” he begins. “I thought it was my calling. I loved everything about it, and then there was a damn mechanical misfiring that caused an explosion and tore up my arm and part of my torso. Hurt like hell, and I don’t know…I guess I kind of lost the passion for serving, and when my contract ended, I didn’t reenlist. Then I moved here. I’ve got dual citizenship. Mum was an American.”

“I thought you said people don’t run because of jobs?”

“I did say that.”

“Isn’t that what you did?”

“I ran because of my girlfriend ending our relationship to go back to her husband I didn’t know about and my brother’s death,” Killian corrects. The job simply happened to give me the push.”

Emma’s got a million questions, but she doesn’t think she should ask them. It’s probably best not to. “I’m sorry. That sucks.”

“Aye,” he laughs, scratching his ear. “It does. Life sucks, as you put it. That’s why I don’t judge you. That’s why I’m so willing to help you out with the job and with your house. You looked like you needed some help, and I know what it’s like to be in your position.”

Oh.

No one has ever done something like that for her, not really, and Emma thinks to herself once more that under all of his gruff and brooding and penchant for getting angry at customers, he’s a good man. She gets up and walks over to him, pressing up on her toes to lightly brush her lips over his cheek. His scruff burns against her lips, and she gets a stronger whiff of cologne than she ever has as her own cheeks heat up.

“Thank you, Killian.”

He scares her, in more ways than one, but weirdly, she almost craves that little jolt of fear, one she feels in the tingling of her lips far after she leaves his apartment.

-/-

Things shift after that night. It’s not in some monumental, earth-shattering way, but there’s definitely a difference in how Emma and Killian interact. Ruby spends the weekend with them, touring the house and sharing her opinions on what it looks like now and how it should look in the future. Ruby doesn’t get why Emma is staying in Storybrooke, doesn’t understand why she can’t get rid of the place and come back to Boston, but she still supports Emma. It’s what friends do unless they’re making batshit crazy decisions.

Ruby’s words. Not hers.

Besides, Ruby is convinced that Emma is staying for Killian, which actually would be batshit crazy. She’s not staying here for him. She’s staying here because she needs to fix up this house. She needs to fix up this house to prove she can, sell it, and wash her hands of anything and everything that Ingrid left behind.

Killian gives her the night off for her birthday, tells her to go out and have fun, but since there’s only one bar in town, they hang out at the Rabbit Hole and drink fruity drinks Killian hates making and eat onion rings he made specifically for her, mumbling something about how he knows that she really wanted to spend her day at home in pajamas eating junk food instead of hanging out at the place where she works.

She doesn’t mind, not really. Especially when Killian tells her that he’ll cover her tab for the night, throwing her a downright dirty wink and whispering in her ear that he’d take tips in other ways.

Ridiculous man. Such a cocky asshole sometimes.

When Ruby leaves town and heads back to Boston, she tells Emma to stop being stupid and to do something good with what she’s got here. If she’s going to be here, she needs to make it worth it.

Emma tries to do just that. She really does, but as the months pass and the house gets closer and closer to being presentable (and functionable) enough to sell, all Emma can think is that she’s got an apartment back in Boston and a job that will take her back if she begs just enough.

Boston is safe. Boston is…home. In Boston, there’s no man with blue eyes and a sharp wit who makes her stomach swirl like she’s got damn butterflies fluttering around in there.

Leaving Killian makes her heart ache, but admitting that to herself is something she’s barely capable of. Admitting it to him would be damn near impossible.

-/-

“Swan,” Killian calls out as she walks into the bar, “come help me get these blasted lights up. I thought it would be nice to make it a little festive in here for Christmas.”

He’s standing on a chair up against the wall, box after box of white lights scattered around his feet, and as capable as Killian is, this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. She takes a step toward him, a step toward his bright smile and slightly overgrown beard, but then she stops. She was supposed to be in and out, just like that. She wasn’t supposed to get attached.

She can’t stay.

“I sold the house, Killian.”

He drops a string of lights to the ground, small shards of glass scattering everywhere.

Shit.

“You what?”

“I’m going to sell the house,” she corrects. Her heart is beating faster than it ever has. “I got an offer from a couple from New York who wanted it as a vacation home and are going to finish the renovations and add on an extra room. I don’t really know. But it’s money that I need and that will help me out back in Boston.”

“Emma – ”

She hates when he says her first name. It makes her throat tighten and her stomach ache, and no matter how many times he says it instead of calling her by one of his many names for her, she’ll never get used to it.

She swallows the lump in her throat.

“You’re leaving?” Killian asks, obviously devastated. She hates that she knows the looks on his face and knows how he feels without even a word now. She nods. He knows her looks as well. “Stay, Emma.”

“I can’t.” “Why not? Why can’t you stay?”

“I don’t live here. I have a life back in Boston. I have friends, a job, a – ”

“A what?”

“I don’t know,” Emma groans, hot tears pricking in her eyes. When did any of this happen? How did it happen? How did she allow herself to have so many feelings? “I don’t know, but I can’t stay here. It was only supposed to be a day, maybe a week. It wasn’t supposed to be months. It wasn’t supposed to be this.”

She motions between the two of them, speaking the words that neither of them have spoken over long days working at the house, long nights working here, and too quick of times watching movies in his apartment or grabbing lunch at Granny’s or even racing each other on their runs.

She knows. He does too.

“You can see a future here, and that scares you,” Killian tells her, stepping close.

“Oh, let me guess, with you.”

“Aye,” Killian says as he steps into her space, the now familiar scent of his cologne surrounding her while the warmth of his hands presses through her jeans and then her sweater as his hands move from her hips to her shoulders. “You and I both know – ”

“We don’t know anything!”

His jaw clenches, and she knows he’s holding back. She knows him well enough to know he’s pressing down the fire within him.

“Emma,” he whispers, and her heart does that thing again that’s got to be medically impossible, “you have been the best part of my life for the past four months, and I know that I can’t ask you to stay. I have already, but I can’t honestly be selfish enough to think that you’ll stay just for me. What I can’t do, darling, is let you go without telling you how I feel.”

Her heart may be in her throat now because she can’t breathe. Not at all. Why the hell are his eyes so blue and earnest? Why is he so earnest?

She nods again, and he smiles this soft little smile that makes his eyes crinkle.

“I am rather fond of you, Emma Swan. I’m fond of the way that your smile shifts from small to absolutely beaming and the way that you laugh at your little comedy podcasts we listen to while we’re working. I’m fond of the way that you call me out on my shit and the way that you help me every day, even if you don’t know it. I’m fond of the smell of your perfume and the way I find long blonde strands of hair on all of my clothes even if I didn’t wear the shirt around you. I’m fond of the way you’ve weaved your way into every part of my life so seamlessly while I’ve had to carefully take a hammer to the bricks you built up around your heart.”

His hands trace up her neck, shivers running down her spine and bumps rising up over her skin. “I like you,” Killian continues, “and I don’t want you to go back to Boston thinking that you don’t have a life here. Everyone in this town would welcome you with open arms, but I’d be standing at the front waiting for you.”

Emma’s never been good with words, has never been an expert at expressing how she feels, but she has been good with actions. It’s why she wraps her arms around his neck, fingers tickling along the nape of his neck and into his hair, and kisses him.

She kisses him.

His lips are soft, softer than should even be possible, and his beard brushes against her skin much like it did when she kissed his cheek a few weeks ago while Killian quietly grunts into the kiss. They don’t move much, mouth pressed against mouth, but Emma finds herself getting lost in it. She imagined what it would be like kissing Killian Jones, something she would never admit to anyone else, but it was nothing like this. She didn’t feel it all over her, didn’t feel emotions swirling in her stomach and spreading over her skin, and she definitely didn’t think it would make her this happy.

She’s not sure when or how this happened, how exactly he hammered down the bricks around her heart, but she’s infinitely glad that he did.

Piece by piece and stone by stone.

“I don’t know if I can stay,” Emma whispers when she pulls back from the kiss, her forehead resting against his while her heart beats too fast. “I don’t – ”

“You don’t have to stay, darling. I simply ask that no matter your decision, you still allow me to be a part of your life, however you decide.”

Emma nods in affirmation before kissing him again, hungrily gliding her lips over his while heat curls between her thighs at the feel of Killian pressed up against her. The first kiss was soft, gentle, and while this one could still be described that way, there’s a fire simmering underneath her skin that comes to the surface with Killian’s hearty growl and the way that he starts backing her across the bar until her back is against the wall next to the staircase. Killian captures her gasp with his mouth, and she melts into him some more.

They should talk more. They really should, but they’ve talked for four months, and when Killian asks her if she’d like to go upstairs, she gladly says yes.

They shed their clothes the moment they’re in his apartment, tugging at shirts and pants as Killian finds the skin of her neck and leaves warm, open-mouthed kisses there while it takes everything in Emma to keep running her hands over his sides, feeling the warm skin and slightly marked up places. She’s already warm everywhere, gooseflesh rising, and her breathing is uneven as Killian keeps touching her.

It’s amazing.

And he’s beautiful. It’s all dark skin and lean muscle, someone who doesn’t work out much at the gym but is active, and he’s got dark patches of hair covering his chest and stomach, some of the black hiding the tattoos he has scrawled across his skin. She thinks most of the ones on his torso are there to cover up the scars from his accident, and Emma takes the time to trace her finger over the ink and over the scars, making sure to occasionally watch Killian’s face as she does so.

Of all of the times Killian has looked at her with admiration in his eyes, it’s never been quite like that.

She is so screwed.

When they reach the bed after Killian slamming his lips back into hers and whispering absolutely filthy things into her ear, his hand easily finds where she’s sensitive. He runs his fingers there, making her gasp and moan and whine that she needs more. Killian gladly gives her more.

There’s a push and pull, whispered words of want shared, and she gets lost in it.

He’s warm and thick when he buries himself inside of her, and his moan is one of the most delicious sounds she’s ever heard. His blue eyes are almost completely black now, but they’re no less beautiful. Everything about this is intimate, from the way that Killian kisses her to the controlled movement of his hips, sliding in and out in a slow rhythm that she knows is for her. A part of her wants more, wants faster and harder, but the other part of her is still catching up to the fact that this is real.

This is happening.

And she’s happy.

That might be the most shocking part of the entire thing. Emma is happy, which kind of snuck up on her without her really realizing it, and for the first time in a long time, if not ever, she can feel herself smiling during sex.

Is this what this is supposed to be like? Is this what it’s always supposed to have been like?

Killian smiles right back at her, letting his brows unfurrow from how they were folded in concentration, and then he’s dipping back down to move his teeth over her lips, a light graze that means almost everything to her all the while his hand dips down to where they are joined, the movement making her see all of those metaphorical stars.

Or, at least, something similar in blue orbs and a kind smile.

This is good. This is how things are supposed to be.

Happy.

“Killian?” she asks later. Sweat has dried on her skin, her hair curling around the temples, and she’s folded herself into Killian’s side while her legs are tucked between his calves. Her fingers can’t stop moving through his chest hair, untangling the patches, before moving down to trace over his tattoos and scars once more. She likes the way the red mixes in with the colors of ink.

“Yeah, Swan?”

She nearly giggles at the deep set of his voice, at how it’s harsh and soft all at once, kind of like him.

“I’m rather fond of you too. I thought you should know that.”

“The sex kind of clued me into that.”

“No, I meant. I – you…”

“I know exactly what you meant, love,” he promises as his head dips until his lips press into hers. “I was teasing you. You don’t have to tell me that.”

“I know, but I still want to. You deserve to hear the words as much as I do.”

-/-

She ends up selling the house to the couple from New York.

She puts away the money into her savings account, which was really nothing more than pennies and a few dust bunnies, and for the first time in her life, she has options.

Go back to Boston. Go anywhere.

Or stay in Storybrooke.

Stay in Storybrooke where the people are kind and know her by name, where the beach is nearby and often empty, where she could have a bit of quiet in her life, something that’s also been a novelty for someone who has never really had a quiet she liked. They’ve always been too haunting. This is comforting.

Stay in Storybrooke where there’s a man with blue eyes and the devil in his smile.

Only in the best way, of course, and she can’t keep her own smile away when thinking of him.

Of this life here.

So she stays. It’s what she feels in her heart is right, even if it means leaving her life in Boston behind. And she’s not staying for Killian. As great as he is and as happy as she is that she’s going to be around him, this is all for herself. After Emma tells Ruby her decision, Ruby is disappointed at first, but she promises to visit and still annoy the hell out of her. Emma doesn’t doubt it for a second.

Killian helps her find a place of her own after she tells him that she’s staying. The smile on his face has never been brighter, even when she rejects his offer to stay in the spare room behind the bar that he can renovate into a bedroom. It’s a kind offer, and she imagines she’ll be there often to spend time in Killian’s apartment, but she needs to do this on her own. It’s a new adventure, and she likes a challenge. Besides, if she and Killian keep flirting and making out like teenagers, she imagines one day she’ll be fine living with him.

Who has she become? Being so hopeful like that.

She likes it.

It’s a year and a half later when she and Killian sign the deed to a house on the shoreline, shutters falling off and porch rotting.

“So, Swan, you ready to fix up our new home?”

His fingers tangle into hers while her lips press into his jawline.

Our home.

She likes the sound of that.

“Yeah,” she smiles, “I am.”

-/-

Tag list:: @csjanuaryjoy @stahlop @shardminds @carpedzem @captainsjedi @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @xellewoods @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @shireness-says @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @ultimiflos @jamif @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @spartanguard @snowbellewells

#what a plot twist you were #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #cs January joy #cs jj #captain swan January joy

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raygirlramblings · 4 years

Note

I’m just wondering but do you have any Rayman Princess headcanons of your own since you said in your top 5 that it’s something you’d like to see in future Rayman games. (I do too if you’d like to see them...)

Oh I’m SO glad you asked!!!

I don’t have any big character headcannons for the princess, just a lot of little personality traits, quirks and bits which differentiate them from one another. Also I don’t have many headcannons for all the ‘sister’ princesses. I'm just sticking with the original 10 from legends, not the bonus princesses like Holly or Avelina XD

Barbara

Most adventurous princess

Barbara is the princess closest to Rayman and Globox and as such she is more likely to hang out with them than the others.

Barbara has a lot of responsibility issues. In my headcannon while she is princess of her own people she doesn’t want to settle down and rule them. She wants to find adventure and explore an thinks being a ruler will cramp her style. She doesn’t hate her people or family, it’s more the concept of being a leader which intimidates her. Maybe she doesn't think she'd make a worthy leader...

Barbara is the first princess to make her way through the Hall of Doors into Rayman’s home world. She was chasing a thief who stole precious jewels from her village and the pair stumbled into the Glade. Barbara, assuming the world was going to be hostile, acted in kind and wrecked havoc before Rayman caught up with her and convinced her they weren’t enemies.

While Barbara is besties with Rayman and Globox her super best friend is Clark. As a fellow warrior they will happily spend free hours sparring, training, arm wrestling and chatting weapons. Clark admires Barbara’s skill and strength and respects her as a fellow warrior. Barbara is an unofficial member of Clark’s Glade security force. Note: I do not ship them. They are BROS.

Elysia

I don't have many headcannons for her. She's similar to Barbara in many ways but has fewer hangups about being a leader

Aurora

Most serious minded Princess

I’ve always seen Aurora as being very tactical minded. She will happily leap into a fight but she likes to have a plan in place for the best possible result that get as few of her allies hurt as possible.

She has a VERY short temper, especially when people don’t listen to her.

She is very much ‘serious business’ all the time, and it takes a lot to loosen her up.

The only time she shows her gentle side is with kids and baby animals. Her big thing is keeping people safe, and since babies are innocents she will do anything to protect them. But at the same time she knows that her being a warrior could be a threat to them so she keeps her distance :(

One time a Globox kid called her 'Aunto Roro' and it almost broke her. Now it's what all the kids call her ;D

Twila

Again, don't have many headcannons. I see her as being more outgoing and less stuffy than Aurora. She's one of the few people who can pull Aurora out her focus, mostly by driving her sister insane XD

Olympia

Most self-absorbed princes

Considered a celebrity/pop idol in her home world. While she is a good soul she is very vain and considers her beauty to be her most defining feature.

Lives in a home full of mirrored surfaces so she can always have one eye on herself

Despite her vanity she is a ferocious warrior. She's not a girly girl (the type who is worried about getting muddy etc). She KNOWS she looks amazing and it doesn't matter if she's dirty or battle scarred. On top of that she doesn't feel the need to put others down to make herself feel better because her ego is iron clad XD There is beauty in everything...she should know ;)

She has developed a friendship with Betina who has introduced her to the concept of cellsphones (with the help of Cookie!) and as such she has discovered the art of the selfie. Olympia LOVES selfies

Sibylla

Olympia's polar opposite personality wise. Where Olympia is selfish Sibylla is selfless and doesn't care much for her own beauty or style. While she has lots of admirers she's not about being a celebrity and can be very shy and self deprecating.

Spends a lot of time hunting monsters in dark caves and underground, avoiding the light.

LOVES bats. Bats are her favourite animal.

Loves her sister dearly but is a little conflicted as they are so vastly different. She also has a sneaking suspicious that Olympia doesn't value her the same way she values Olympia. Basically Olympia's ego has unknowingly driven a wedge between them.

I think she'd be good friends with Begonaix as she would be all about building up her friend's confidence.

Ursula and Emma

Techno Princesses!

I put these two together as I see them being the strongest pair. They work well as a team despite being different in personality.

They work as elite spy/hackers infiltrating gang hideouts and treasure stashes of the rich. They then distribute this wealth to the poor via charities and services without a trace.

Ursula is cool, calm and analytical. Emma is high-energy, cheery and outgoing. The pair bounce off one another with surprising skill and share a lot of banter through their missions.

Ursula and Emma both have strong British accents, though Ursula rarely speaks. I imagine Emma's accent to be as outrageous as Tracer in Overwatch (COR BLIMEY GUV).

When not on missions Ursula enjoys reading, and Emma is an avid online gamer. She swears a lot. It's hilarious.

Ursula cannot handle compliments. The slightest praise turns her into a blushing mess and Emma teases her relentlessly about it.

I can see them getting on well with Cookie and sometimes going to him for help with tech, gadgets and planning for missions.

Estelia

PARTY PRINCESS

Girl just loves to party...any kind of party. She loves parades and festivals and luau’s and picnics and themed parties...any party of Estelia's idea of a good time.

Seemingly boundless energy. No one is sure how she stays awake as she never seems to sleep.

Despite loving parties Estelia is tea-total and avoids any and all alcohol. She won't stop others enjoying it though!

She has a photographic memory for birthdays. In some cases it's unclear how she finds this information, but she is always right.

Selena

As stated in cannon Selena is the darker side of Estelia. She's not evil, just far more subdued and cynical.

Selena loves parties too, she's just not as hysterical about them as Estelia. It's hard to tell if she is having a good time as she tends to rely on morbid humour and dark jokes. If Selena were at a college party she would be the one on the back porch smoking and discussing philosophy while watching the stars.

Unlike Estelia Selena has a crazy high tolerance for alcohol and can drink anyone under the table.

I can see Selena being besties with Voodoo Mama, sharing jokes and booze and talking about dark stuff while the party rages on.

If anyone tries to ruin/crash one of Estelia's parties then they better be prepared for the wrath of Selena as she is super protective of her sibling.

Hah, I need to draw some of these as they make me happy. I'm sorry if any of my headcannons conflict with other people's, I'm not about stepping on toes or enforcing my views as being right ^_^* These are purely how I see the princesses!

#Rayman #headcannons

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jennifersylvesters · 5 years

Text

not so subtle - part eleven

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x reader Word Count: 4 k~ Warning: swearing A/N: surprise, bitch. i bet you’d thought you’d seen the last of me. happy osterfield october! cheers to that and cheers to it apparently being a mcfrickin’ year since i posted the bullet points for “not so subtle” and conned y’all into reading. feedback is always appreciated ~

You should’ve gone after him. You should’ve flung yourself into his arms. You should’ve kissed him the way he kissed you. You should’ve told him something, anything.

You should’ve gone to the Bahamas and told him how you felt. You should’ve laid it all on the line, telling him how no one could hold a candle to the light he ignited. How could they when Harrison orbited your thoughts?

You should’ve done a grand romantic gesture. You should’ve serenaded him in front of thousands of people. Okay, maybe bring the number to double digits. No way you’d perform with that many people around. You should’ve set up a room with an exorbitant amount of candles before confessing your feelings. You should’ve shown him how much you cared, how much he meant.

But you didn’t. And maybe that was the problem.

Instead you stood drenched in the rain wondering what all of it meant. You replayed the scene over and over, so caught up in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed hours pass by.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you found yourself sick, completely congested and downright miserable. The mountain of used tissues seemed to grow along with your headache. No way in hell you could fly when you could barely make it to the bathroom without a dizzy spell.

“I can’t do it, Ems” you whimpered on the phone before letting coughing violently. Goodbye lung one. “I’m literally dying here.”

“You’re seriously not going to come with us?” You knew how much Emma had been looking forward to this trip, and your sickness had thrown a wrench in her plans. Despite trying to suppress her irritation, you heard it laced in her tone. You would’ve done anything for your best friend, but there was no way in hell you were going to the Bahamas.

“Emma, I can’t” you groaned as you blew your nose loudly.

“We were looking forward to this-”

Someone cut Emma off, filling your ear with muffled noise. In the background you heard her toss around the words “sick”, “cancel” and “true love”. You weren’t sure what to make of that.

Emma returned to the line, clearing her throat before stating briskly “Fine. Tom said he hopes you feel better.” You mumbled a thanks, grateful he managed to convince your best friend to drop the matter. “I still think you should go, but he says this might make it worse.”

“I’m really sorry, Ems” you apologized. “You know I wanna go. I just don’t wanna throw up on the plane and ruin everyone’s vacation.”

“Hey. I know you do” her voice softened slightly. “Get better soon, okay?”

With a final cough and a “have fun”, you hung up and collapsed back to bed.

Rather than enjoying sunny island fun, Kimberly insisted you road trip with her and Sarah down to her cabin. You could recover better with people watching over you instead of cooped up in the apartment. Off to grandmother’s house Kimberly’s cabin we go.

The drive consisted of you in the back seat attempting to sweat out your fever while the other two sang along to the radio. Let the girlfriends have their fun while you died in the back seat.

When you arrived at Kimberly’s cabin, her mother smothered you with love and medicine. She doted on you as if you were her own, making sure that you immediately went to bed and only called you when it was time to eat.

By the time you recovered, only a couple days of spring break were left. You wanted to make the most of it though you weren’t much for outdoor activities. It didn’t help that this vacation was clearly meant to be alone time for Sarah and Kimberly. There they were, enjoying one another’s company while you third wheeled. They insisted they didn’t mind but you knew better.

Thank god for Kimberly’s brother, Ryan. He was a good, friendly distraction from the couple. The two of you could hang out separately without imposing on your friends. You enjoyed how he marveled over you knowing actual celebrities. No need to include details of you fainting from merely being in the presence of some.

Still, you couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if you went to the Bahamas. Would you be soaking up the sun? Running around the beach? Maybe even posting cheesy tourist photos? Perhaps you’d be kissing someone special under the starry sky, interlacing your fingers together as you agreed this was your sacred place - the place where you admitted your love.

Haha. Huge sike.

That, of course, was purely imagination. Instead your reality consisted of getting over colds and exploring nature. The only evidence of your fun was a singular photo posted on Instagram. Kimberly snapped a picture of you groaning next to a laughing Ryan whose arm slung tightly around your waist. You didn’t bother adding a caption; no way you wanted to explain how moments prior he caught you before you nearly plunged off the side of a trail.

You wondered if Harrison would comment. He never did.

In fact, he never messaged you at all. He went completely silent on social media. No Instagram stories. No Twitter updates. No Snapchat stories. Nothing.

“You know you could text him, right? It might make you feel better” Kimberly advised.

Easier said than done. Every day you contemplated sending a text. Every day you made up an excuse. It was simple to chalk it up to being too busy than finding the guts to message him.

Still you knew your roommate was right. She always was. Stupidly smart Kimberly.

On your last day of spring break, you paced the floor before clicking through your contacts. You stared at the contact name “Lil Shit 💩”. Why was a poop emoji making you so nervous? Why couldn’t you just suck it up and say something? Why the hell was this so difficult?

Just fucking text him already.

Slowly you typed out a message. It wasn’t much but you assumed it would at least get a response.

Y/N: Hey - how’s the Bahamas?

Your finger shakily hovered over the send icon. Send it. Just press the damn button.

What was the worst that could happen? He could hit you up with that “new number who’s this”. He could tell you to fuck off. He could call you the wrong name.

Finally you clicked send, heart pounding.

You watched the message change from “message sent” to “message delivered”. It was nice to know he got phone coverage in the Bahamas.

Sarah called your name, distracting you from this mild obsession.You grabbed your belongings, heading downstairs. As the three of you loaded into the car, you noticed that the status had changed. He read the message. Well, that’s good. At least he got your text.

A couple days passed and still no response.

“Maybe he was busy?” Kimberly suggested. “Just send him another text.”

Taking her advice, you shot off another text.

Y/N: So are you back in the UK?

And then there it was.

He left you on read. Again.

Oh. So this was the worst option.

Being ridiculed by Harrison was annoying but being ignored by Harrison was pure torture.

It didn’t matter how many premieres Emma invited you to. You could attend all the after parties or party at every kick back. He wasn’t there. You wouldn’t have cared if you knew he was preoccupied with work, but he was actively avoiding you. And that fucking sucked.

When had things changed? When had arguing with Harrison become one of your favorite pastimes? When did you realize just how important he had become to you?

Spring classes resumed. Exams followed. You went through the motions, wondering what you two would be doing if he actually visited. Probably arguing. Potentially kissing. Of course he wasn’t there to prove any of your theories so you were left speculating the ‘what-ifs’.

For months he ignored you. He had to break eventually, right? With summer vacation approaching, you assumed he’d finally talk. Say something damn it.

You expected him at the Fourth of July party. Emma threw it every year at her parents’ house, gussying up the place with sparklers and birthday decorations. She insisted they could celebrate America’s independence as well as Harrison’s birthday. No one noted the irony of celebrating a Brit’s birthday on this specific holiday.

Harrison always came, laughing about how his birthday should’ve been the national holiday. Your typical retort was telling him to stop being salty about America’s freedom. The two of you bantered about everything, from the consistency of the fireworks to what present you got him. (“I got you the gift of not kicking your ass.” “Lovely.”)

He never showed that day.

All the Holland boys showed up, greeting you with hugs and huge smiles. No Harrison.

Who was celebrating Harrison’s birthday with him? Was he alone or partying with other friends? Was there anyone there to make him a cake and wish him a happy birthday? You wanted to know but couldn’t find the courage to ask.

Instead you pretended to have fun. You stuffed your mouth with food and sipped alcohol freely. You laughed at jokes and danced energetically. No way you missed Harrison’s painfully terrible hot dog jokes. Of course you didn’t mind that he wasn’t there to make dumb bets about how long the fireworks would last.

It was just another party without him. Maybe that’s why this party wasn’t as fun as it should’ve been.

With a nice buzz from drinking, you scrolled to his name in your contacts. “Just message him. Tell him how much he’s missing out” your brain encouraged. None of your friends were around to consult your poor decisions. The inebriation gave you an excuse to shoot off a text.

Y/N: Enjoying the taste of freedom here in the good ol’ USA.

That sounded like a good text. Right?

“Send him a photo to prove you’re having a good time” the alcohol spurred your judgment. It sounded so good, so right. Of course he needed photographic proof you were having fun.

Grabbing one of the small display flags, you rushed over to Harry Holland reclining in one of the plastic lawn chairs. He yelped as you yanked him back by his shirt slurring “Let’s take a photo to send to Harrison.”

“Send it to Haz?” he asked incredulously before a sly smirk appeared on his face. “You finally ready to admit that you caught fe-”

“Shut up, Harry. Just take a photo with me” you snapped, refusing to let him finish that sentence. Even drunk you didn’t like where that sentence was going.

Harry simply laughed, grabbing your phone to take the selfie. You flashed your teeth to the camera waving the small flag madly. You were so caught up in your actions that you didn’t notice Harry leaning in, catching you off guard as he planted a kiss on your cheek.

The alcohol delayed your reaction, shoving him only once the flash went off. “What the hell was that?” Seriously, though. What the hell was that?

Harry snickered, tossing the phone in your lap. There in your messages, the photo had been sent to Harrison. What in the star spangled fuckery?

“You’re welcome” he smirked, patting your shoulder.

“I didn’t say thank you!” you shouted after him.

You sat in the chair, staring at the screen. The message changed to ‘read’ and you groaned throwing your head back. Of course he saw. He just never replied.

Except three moving dots appeared on the screen. You scrambled, sitting up straight. This was different. For a minute they just moved around before disappearing. Only a second later did they reappear. “Just say something already” you grumbled, the anticipation killing you.

Finally the dots disappeared for good. You groaned again, burying your face in your hands. You got your hopes up for nothing.

“Piss off, Haz.” Your head swiveled to see Harry chuckling on the phone. Play it cool. Play it casual. Tipping backwards in the chair, you tried to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Just talk to her. Or go back to bed. Oh, and happy birthday, div” Harry hung up. As he looked up from his phone, the two of you made eye contact.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.”

“I didn’t say thank you” you mumbled. Minutes passed before you realized he wasn’t going to text back. Still, you couldn’t resist one more try.

Y/N: happy birthday, harrison.

The moving dots appeared again and your heart lurched. Say something. Say something, Harrison. Even if he just told you to shut up, you wanted a response. Any response.

The dots disappeared and never resurfaced.

Just like that, you spent the holiday mulling over your thoughts as fireworks burst brightly into the night sky.

As summer dwindled to an end, you spent the rest of your break in the UK. Emma guided you around, visiting both the touristy destinations and her favorite secluded places. Still, you couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room.

Tom had been actively avoiding you as well. He made excuses why he couldn’t tag along when he loved playing third wheel to your friendship.

Something was definitely amiss. It wasn’t something you could easily discuss seeing as every time you approached him, he made up excuses to leave. “I gotta take this call.” Alright? “Forgot I have an appointment.” Sure? “Tessa’s pooping.” Fuck off with that nonsense.

You loved Tom like an annoying brother which was why his odd nature pissed you off.

“What’s your deal, Holland?” you finally snapped. A small group of you hung out in his flat where he avoided being closer than four feet from you. Pretty impressive even if his apartment was fairly spacious.

“Deal? What deal?” he asked feigning innocence. Yeah, right. Try your acting chops on another sucker, buddy.

“Tom, what’s going on?”

His eyes shifted around, focusing on anything that wasn’t you.

“No idea what you mean. Oh, you hear that? Think Tessa’s calling for me.” He stood as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Tessa’s fine, Tom. Sit down.” He immediately sat down. “You’re avoiding me. Well, you and Harrison. But we’re focusing on you right now.”

“I’m not avoiding you. I’m right here.” Still no eye contact.

“Tom, you’re not even looking at me” you griped. “You’re totally avoiding me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

You were on the cusp of strangling your best friend’s boyfriend when Harry piped up from the kitchen.

“Tom’s just being sour” he stated nonchalantly, fixing him and his twin brother a cup of tea.

“About what? I haven’t even done anything!” Sure, you could be an idiot but you hadn’t antagonized Tom in a while. Well, not that you could think of. This whole situation was an exasperating mess.

“I’m not being sour!” Tom interjected.

“It’s ‘bout that new man you’ve got.” Harry hummed, ignoring his brother. Sam snickered, grabbing tea from one of the cabinets.

“What man?” you and Emma both questioned in unison. While you were utterly confused - since when did you have game for a man? - Emma looked stunned.

“You have a man?” she mouthed to which you shook your head vigorously.

“That man on your Instagram” Sam answered as Harry shuffled around the kitchen.

You might’ve been impressed how both of them simply ignored their older brother’s glare if you weren’t so preoccupied trying to figure out what Sam meant.

You pulled out your phone, scanning your Instagram profile. Looking at the first photo, you let out a snort. “Definitely not dating Sebastian Stan.”

“Oh, did you post that photo for a throwback?” Emma clapped her hands together excitedly. “You look so good! You’d never believe you’d been sobbing a couple minutes before that was taken.”

“Nah. Not that one. The guy from the woodsy photo” Harry steered the conversation back on course much to Tom’s dismay.

“Who? Ryan?”

“Oh, is that his name? I didn’t know” Tom remarked, acting completely surprised.

Harry choked on his tea before sputtering out a laugh. “Like you and Haz haven’t been trying to dig up dirt on the bloke” he wiped his mouth, grinning at an embarrassed Tom.

“You’ve been digging up dirt on Ryan?” you inquired, baffled that they would do that.

“Ryan is Kimberly’s brother” Emma explained.

“You’re dating Kimberly’s brother?” Tom’s eyebrows lifted in shock.

“Wait, Kimberly has a brother?”

“Which one is Kimberly again?”

“Her flat mate.”

“She the one who dressed up as a vagina on Halloween?”

“Think so.”

Ignoring the younger brothers, you answered Tom’s question. “I’m not dating Ryan. Who told you that?”

Tom went quiet, only sheepishly looking at the ground. Suddenly everything clicked.

This fucking div.

“Tom” you started slowly. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” Silence. “Is it because you thought I was dating Ryan?”

“No!” he shook his head like a scolded child. “It’s just…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact.

“Spit it out, Holland.”

“Okay...So maybe I thought you were dating Ryan. I just...I didn’t wanna make Harrison feel bad if I talked to you after all you guys have been through. But I didn’t know how to talk to you either. It’s not like I could talk to you about your new boyfriend.”

He corrected himself as he saw your glare. “I mean, your not your new boyfriend. I just didn’t want to take sides or anything.”

Harry shared a wry smile with you before you both shook your heads in disbelief.

“Oh, babe.” Emma placed her hand on Tom’s knee. The two of them exchanged soft smiles before she said “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve probably ever done. And you’ve broken your nose multiple times.”

His face turned red as Harry and Sam roared with laughter.

“It’s not even about taking sides. We all know you’d choose Harrison; he’s your best friend. But you could’ve just asked what was going on instead of assuming things” she explained. “Now I’m gonna get a cup of tea while you sort this out with Y/N.” She kissed him on his forehead before joining the twins in the kitchen.

Tom finally looked at you properly cracking a weak smile. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have...I should’ve just asked.”

You laughed, accepting his apology. How could you not? It was Tom. The two of you exchanged a brief hug before you stood up and announced you were heading out.

“No! Stay!” Tom insisted. “Let me fix things properly.”

You weren’t sure what that meant, but you explained you needed to pack. Eventually with Emma’s help Tom relented.You gave him another hug before leaving his place.

Humming to yourself, you felt better knowing that you cleared up that miscommunication. If only things could be that simple. You pushed open the apartment door to a crisp breeze and turned before stopping in your tracks.

Almost four months later and there he was.

He blinked, clear recognition in those beautiful eyes. It was clear neither of you expected to run into one another. As you cautiously approached, he tensed up though stood firmly in place.

Now only a couple feet away, you took a proper look at him. Had he gotten more handsome? Was that even possible? His hair was longer, messier but suited him well. His hands jammed into his pockets as he kept his eyes on you. Even with the tight expression, it was comforting finally seeing him. Finally being around him. It had been so long, and you missed this. Missed him.

“I miss you.” Of all that was holy- Did you really just say that out loud? The words slipped out of your mouth carelessly.

His eyes widened at your confession. Those were the first words since that rainy day. It felt strong, maybe too much. But those words rang true to how you felt. You couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I…” you paused, wishing you could’ve composed your thoughts better. But the moment was here, and the time was now. “I just...haven’t seen you around. I didn’t realize how much I missed you till you weren’t there. It was like all I could think about was if I was ever gonna see you again, y’know?”

Seeing him take the slightest step forward, you summoned up a bit more courage to continue.

“I like being around you, Harrison. I like arguing even though you drive me crazy. And Jesus Christ do you drive me fucking insane. And it’s crazy to think that you’re one of my favorite people even though you’re a pain in my ass.”

The corner of his lips twitched, fighting the urge to smile. “But I like that you’re there for me. And that you don’t make fun of my crying. And that you’re so sweet.”

You began choking up. Oh, God! Why the hell were you doing that?

You wanted to stop - let him process all of this - but kept going. “And I get why girls like you because your flirting is just so...It’s you and it’s charming. It’s so damn charming that all I want is your attention.” His gaze shifted downwards, staring at the pavement. No, you didn’t want that. You wanted his focus on you. Please look up. Look up.

“And I love it when you call me love.” He glanced up at as your eyes swelled up with tears. Keep looking at me. No one else but me.

Harrison stared as you dry swallowed, rubbing the tears away. “I really do. I don’t think you even realize what that does to me. And I wish...I just wish you said it in more than a friends way.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever thought about like that.” HIs eyes darkened at that, the softness quickly disappearing as he completely stiffened up.

“Sorry I’m late!” A pretty brunette bounced up to Harrison’s side smiling widely.

Neither of you spoke as she continued smiling, now with a quizzical expression. “Hello, I’m Jessica” she introduced herself as she held out her hand. You shook it, muttering a polite greeting before pulling away.

That was when Harrison’s arm went around her protectively. He pulled her closer as she wrapped her arm around his back. He kissed her cheek causing her to let out a bright laugh.

Oh.

A weight crushed in your chest as you forced a smile. Of course Harrison would have someone. He hadn’t waited around for you to get your shit together. You missed out on the only chance he’d given. You’d been foolish to forget that others wanted him who wouldn’t hesitate for their opportunity. The weight sunk deeper the longer you looked at the couple.

Noting the discomforting silence, Jessica eyed you both. “Should I just meet you up there, Haz?” she asked politely. Of course she called him by that nickname. Of course she had that privilege.

“No, we’ve basically wrapped up.”

“Guess up to Tommy’s place then” she nudged him in the ribs playfully.

“‘Course, love.” Oh.

So that was Harrison’s answer to your feelings. So this was how heartbreak felt. You nearly shattered into a million pieces as he smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder softly. Tears pricked the back of your eyes once again. Hold it in. Just for a little longer hold it in. You couldn’t bear the thought of crying in front of Harrison.

“It was nice meeting you” Jessica smiled before taking your hand and squeezing it gently.

“Y’too” you croaked out, reminding yourself to breath. In, out. In, out. In, get the fuck out.

You pushed past them, rushing away from Tom’s apartment. A couple blocks later you stopped and took a deep breath. Leaning forward, you placed your hands on your thighs as the mental picture of the happy couple flashed in your mind. They looked good together. Of course they did.

So there was the truth. Harrison Osterfield was completely and utterly over you. And you weren’t sure you would ever get over the ocean eyed boy who completely owned your heart.

tags list: @sleepybesson, @sophiatomlinson23, @supernatural-girl97, @tomhaz | @alt-ernativewonderland, @bbk8lin (not sure if you wanted to me to tag you?), @blackstarryroses, @bringmethehorizonandpizza, @butithasntkilledyouyet, @chims-kookies, @choke-me-sweet-pea, @deleteidentity, @divosterfields, @highladyjel, @hollandhearts, @jessiq31, @kateelyse96, @kayla-m1996, @lovelytrashure, @otheenglishsetters, @sarcasticvodka, @soccerstud004, @spider-mendes, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @valkyriesqueen101, @wolvesofthewinter

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield #haz osterfield x you #haz osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield fic #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield imagine #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #fic: not so subtle #my writing

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timeagainreviews · 5 years

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The Doctor visits Villa Diodati... Again

It’s rare that an episode of Doctor Who can upset the fandom before it ever airs. Even rarer is the fandom actually having a valid reason for being so hacked off. The reason for this week’s outrage? That would be none other than the inclusion of the famous writer Mary Shelley into the story. If you’re a fan of Big Finish, you may know already that Mary Shelley acts as a bit of a companion in the Eighth Doctor audios. So when she shows up with the Doctor on the same night when she meets the Eighth Doctor, you start to wonder if anyone thought to actually check.

There’s a really great thing called the TARDIS Data Core. It’s a wiki maintained by the type of meticulous nerds (see: me) who care about this sort of thing. And it’s absolutely free to use. So if you want to throw in someone like say, Houdini, you can read up on the many instances when the Doctor met the man. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, Doctor Who writers have a bizarre fascination with that man. I won’t fault Maxine Alderton for having not listened to the audios with Mary Shelley. I’ve only listened to one of them. But hell, check the damn wiki.

The world of Doctor Who gets its mileage out of perception filters. They play a huge part in the mythology of the show, and especially tonight’s episode. Maybe this is why the Thirteenth Doctor doesn’t remember her travels with Mary Shelley, it’s filtered out. And maybe that’s why when Lord Byron answers the door to Villa Diodati, he reacts with shock despite the massive windows with a clear view of the Doctor and her companions. Was he shocked by the fact that literally nothing changed? Pro tip- if you’re going to show someone surprised by who is on the other side of a door, wood is more effective than glass.

The Doctor and her companions have arrived at the Villa Diodati in the rain-soaked summer of 1816. The very same rain that has relegated Lord Byron, Mary Shelley, Claire Clairmont, and John Polidori housebound, has also forced the TARDIS crew to seek shelter at the villa. The episode wastes no time reaching for cliches as the Doctor says to her companions to brace themselves for meeting some of the greatest minds of human history, only to have the door open to a room of drunken buffoons. They did the exact same joke when the Tenth Doctor met Shakespeare. It’s not egregious, but it’s played out none the less.

Rebounding from cliches, director Emma Sullivan gets some great horror movie vibes as the appearance of a skeletal hand stalks through the house like a spider looking for prey. Clips of ghostly apparitions flicker in and out of existence. I was already very excited about where this was headed. Lord Byron is quite taken by the Doctor, who pays him very little mind. But this doesn’t stop the sleepwalking Dr Polidori from getting jealous when Claire appears to be flirting with Lord Byron. Much of the information about these four is conveyed by their proclivity to gossip, which I thought was a very clever way of sneaking a history lesson into the story. Once again, they’re making better use of edutainment moments by incorporating them into the story.

However, it is Lord Byron who has Claire’s eye. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t stand a chance against the Doctor, or whoever catches Lord Byron’s attention that week. Claire laments Lord Byron’s mixed signals in a conversation with Yaz, leading Yaz to convey her own issues with someone she fancies. She never outright says it’s Ryan, but I’m guessing it’s Ryan. I’m also guessing we’re still doing that? She also very well could have meant the Doctor. Meanwhile, Graham is lost in this labyrinthian house whilst searching for the loo. I love that Graham is the companion that thinks about eating and going to the bathroom. I’ve always wondered why there weren’t more action movies where someone needed to take a piss. You never see Ethan Hunt stop a bullet train while needing to poop. Now that’s an impossible mission.

With Dr Polidori being a sleepwalker, his demeanour is anxious and agitated causing him to take Ryan’s playground trash talk as a major slight on his character. He challenges him to a duel, but before he can put a cap in Ryan’s backside, they’re interrupted by the presence of the skeleton hand. I really have to give it up to Tosin Cole here. His comedic chops this series have been spot-on. Watching him try and fight off a flying hand was just as funny as watching him try to impress Mary Shelley with a stumbling rendition of "Chopsticks," on the piano. After a bit of hot potato, the skeletal hand is taken out of commission by the valet, Fletcher with the serving tray assist. The hand smacks into the ground in a fine powder.

The Doctor reveals that she believes the house is giving off really evil "vibes," and they set about looking for answers. It’s at this moment that the perception filters begin toying with their minds. Stairwells lead down to their tops and exits lead to their entrances. It’s a very wibbly-wobbly moment that leads you to wonder what exactly is going on. Is the house haunted? Does it have anything to do with the bones Lord Byron is keeping at the villa? Why are vases breaking against the wall? Who is this apparition that keeps blinking in and out of existence? Who are the woman and child that supply Graham with a sweet plate of sandwiches?

Stuck in what seems like a time loop, Mary begins to panic as she hears her infant son William crying from a room she is unable to reach. It is then that the sleepwalking of Polidori actually comes in handy as he is able to walk through walls as he is unaffected by perception filters while asleep. This allows everyone to navigate the house by closing their eyes. The Doctor assumes that whatever is happening has turned the villa into a sort of panic room to protect it from something horrible. Perhaps this something has to do with room they’ve discovered which is covered in mad writing scrawled in an alien language. I’ll forgive them the cliche of the madman furiously scrawling walls as at this point, I am fully invested in the story.

It takes them almost no time to discover who the house is protecting them from, as the Lone Cyberman as warned about by Captain Jack arrives looking like Frankenstein’s monster. I absolutely loved the horror movie visuals. The decision not to reveal exactly what the Cyberman was at first, really amped up the anticipation. I knew he was coming at the end of the series, but I didn’t expect him so soon. His image cut like a hunched monster in the darkness of the hallway portrayed a man or monster that has clearly travelled a very long distance to get here. We’ve never had a chance to see a Cyberman look so fatigued and battle-worn. This concept is driven home as we’re able to see the human underneath the mask. One of his hands is left exposed calling back to the Cybermen’s first appearance in "The Tenth Planet."

The Doctor kicks into Doctor mode as she commands her companions not to follow her. The Cyberman goes about looking for "the guardian," which doesn’t pan out too well for poor Fletcher or the maid watching William. However, the Cyberman spares the baby because, after all, this is a family show, and we are still pre-watershed. The Doctor confronts the Cyberman who is unable to attack. Noting his emotions are still intact, the Doctor tries to negotiate with him. This is a rare opportunity for the Doctor to do something more with a Cyberman than exploding his head. However, it would appear this lone mechano man is the cause of all of the freak weather happening, as he recharges himself with a very Mary Shelley style lightning.

Meanwhile, the companions and their new friends have discovered Percey Shelley in the cellar. The Doctor reads Percy’s mind to discover he had found something shiny in the bottom of Lake Geneva, like some sort of sexy Smeagol. Upon picking it up, it begins seeping into his skin, connecting to his mind where it would attempt to hide from the Lone Cyberman. The object is a sort of intelligent liquid metal known as the Cyberium. Within it resides all of the knowledge and history of the Cybermen. In its attempt to hide, Percy returns home to discover nobody can see him no matter how many vases he throws against the wall. The Cyberium puts up a series of perception filters that obscure him from sight. Who sent it back in time, and why it wants to hide from the Lone Cybermen is left a mystery.

The Doctor is forced to make a decision- ignore Jack’s warning not to give the Lone Cyberman what he wants, or allow the Cyberium to destroy Percy’s mind. Ryan tries to make like this is a simple decision as one life weighed against billions is an easy choice. However, the Doctor’s curt response shows the situation to be far more impactful. I loved her speech about being the lone person at the peak of a summit. That was some "curse of the Time Lords," level pontification which I have yearned so much to hear from Jodie’s Doctor. She almost seems disgusted with Ryan here. She doesn’t hide her contempt for always having to be the strong one. This may be one of my favourite Thirteenth Doctor moments as she seems genuinely pissed about being the one to make the big decisions.

Mary Shelley has a moment that clearly sounds like she was working out the basis for what would become her book "Frankenstein," as she tries to reason with the Cyberman. She sees the monster made of disparate parts, but she also sees the man within. But it would appear that this man within has the brain of a criminal as he thrashes about wildly looking to harm. Percy passes the Cyberium to the Doctor. Once again they touch on cliche by claiming the Doctor is the perfect host for the Cyberium. I found this odd considering they have always said the Doctor is not compatible with Cyberman technology, but whatever. The Doctor makes her decision which is to give the Cyberman the Cyberium. That’s step one of the plan, step two is to fix the problems she created with step one. I’ve never heard Doctor Who so succinctly summed up. The Doctor just keeps putting out fires until the problem is solved. Brilliant.

For now, we’re left to ponder the future of this Lone Cyberman. How will it play into the Timeless Child if at all? Is this the beginning of storyline spanning three different episodes? I’m hoping the answer is yes. That would be really cool to see not just the Timeless Child and the Lone Cyberman come together, but also the Master as well. If Chris Chibnall can actually find a through-line with all three stories, I would be very impressed. There’s a lot to like in series twelve, which makes it almost sad that so many people have been tuning out. I’ll admit I understand the trepidation people may have after series eleven. There was a sort of aimlessness that series twelve definitely does not share.

I wouldn’t sit here and say the entire series has been home run after home run, but I’ve not hated a single episode. Even the weaker efforts like "Orphan 55," and “Can You Hear Me?” were completely watchable. Even if "The Haunting of Villa Diodati," does mess with the Eighth Doctor canon, it doesn’t waste its time. That Cyberman reveal was so effective that I audibly said "Woah!" as he beamed his way into the house. And it’s still too early to say what is and isn’t canon at this point, as the Timeless Child could play into it. We could be dealing with pocket realities or alternate timelines. All could very well be revealed in the end. If not, well, it just gives Big Finish a chance to do what it does best- retcon the shit out of something until it fits. It’s Doctor Who, it can take the strain.

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chaoskirin2 · 5 years

Note

As a long time Queen fan, is there anything you know about John Deacon that most fans are unaware of or forgotten? Any misconceptions? There is a lot about him but I hear all sorts of rumors like the stripper story.

I wish I could answer this with actual information. It would be great if I had something to bring to the fandom. Cool facts. Amusing anecdotes. But I don’t.

What I can say is this:

You can sense a lot about a person by how they present themselves. I think on some level, everyone has an empathic connection with the people they admire. Sometimes we find kindred spirits or people we look up to. We always want to say “My fave would never!” but the truth is, the people we look up to are human, too. They have their flaws and vices just like everyone else does.

Because people aren’t just black and white. We’re not all separated into “hero” and “villain.” There’s no alignment chart that encompasses whole populations. Sometimes bad people do good things. And sometimes good people do bad things. We should always look at the whole, and see any individual as a complete, balanced person.

We can identify and praise the good, but we can also examine and denounce the bad.

It’s important to not turn a blind eye to the bad things. But I think we also have a responsibility, before we attack, demean, or cast someone out, to verify that those things about them are true. The internet brings us into a world where published accusations have no filter, reach masses, and spread like wildfire. Before rumors can be contained and lies extinguished, too many people get absorbed into a groupthink mentality and lock themselves in an echo chamber where reality doesn’t shine.

I looked into the story of John and the adult club with an open mind. I knew I might find that it was all true in the end, and that would have been disappointing. But the important thing is that I didn’t trust the writings of an infamous, sensationalist tabloid and did the necessary work to uncover its veracity. I didn’t want to pry into John Deacon’s private life, but I think as his fans, we owe it to him not to spread false information.

And it wasn’t an easy process. In my original conversations with Sophisticats, I was told they wouldn’t talk to me unless I was seeking an audition. In fact, I didn’t hear back on the answers to my questions until months later, long after I published the original debunking. (I’ll post that under a read more below.)

In the end, I think Deacon has given us an indescribable part of himself that can’t be quantified or be given a price tag. And we owe him his privacy. We also owe him the courtesy to not seek out scandal just because he is a quiet, private man.

My original debunking of the Sophisticats Bullshit:

After carefulconsideration, I've decided to fact-check the story about John Deacon's forayinto strip clubs, titled "Queen's Boring Bassist," published in theDaily Mail on January 30, 2005.

First, looking at theDaily Mail's track record, it is considered to be an unreliable, far-right(conservative) newspaper. According to readers on Quora, it "has zerocredibility" and is "sensationalist nonsense." User GraemeShimmin states that he uses the Daily Mail as a reverse fact-check: "if the Daily Mail says something is true thenI assume it is untrue."According to Media Bias/Fact Check (mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/) thepaper has a "poor track record with fact-checkers.) The Wikipedia articleabout the Daily Mail states that it is unreliable and biased, and has also beencriticized for instances of copyright violation.

It has also come underfire in the past for its powerful bias. In the 1930s, the Daily Mail ranseveral articles praising Nazism and Fascism. Virgin Trains recently stoppedstocking the Daily Mail due to its strong-right stance as beinganti-immigration and anti-LGBT, among other things.

Most notably, severalcelebrities, including Diana Rigg, Elton John, and J. K. Rowling, have brought successfullawsuits against the Daily Mail for publishing false information. Of particularinterest, and almost directly related to the subject matter of this fact-check,Melania Trump received a settlement based on allegations published in the DailyMail stating that she had been an "escort" in the 1990s.

Wikipedia will also notallow the Daily Mail to be used as a source.

The article itself ispoorly-written, is riddled with grammatical and punctuation errors, andcontains a general lack of impartiality. Any publication with integrity willhave a preference for neutral language which does not lead its readers to aparticular conclusion. It also contains heavy speculation pertaining toDeacon's decision to not tour or give interviews related to Queen.

It makes the medicallyinaccurate statement that Freddie Mercury "died of AIDS." (it isimpossible to die from AIDS. People who suffer the disease die due tocomplications from AIDS' attack on the immune system. In Mercury's case, hepassed away due to bronchopneumonia related to AIDS.)

Lastly, there are nocorroborating sources - no other articles in any publications mention that JohnDeacon ever visited a strip club or had an affair. Compare this to theextensive coverage of Brian May's marriage problems with his current wife,Anita Dobson. Needless to say, it is extremely important that multiple sourcesverify any information for it to be considered true. Of note, other far-rightsources that publish articles with no corroborating sources include BreitbartNews and the Westboro Baptist Church.

It was very interestingthat the Daily Mail has a quote by Opposition dancer Jenny Fewins, but it isnot attributed. I found the quote's source by accident, when looking forinformation about her and her credibility. The quote in the Daily Mail wasstolen from a book called Queen: TheEarly Years by Mark Hodkinson, with no credit given. This was a surprising,but welcome, confirmation of the sources that state that the Daily Mail hasbeen cited for copyright infringement. The part about Freddie Mercury arrivingat the wedding wearing a feather boa, as well as Roger Taylor's assessment ofDeacon's personality, are also from the same book, and also uncredited.

Both anecdotes are alsotruncated and incomplete, and spliced with false paraphrasing. For example,Roger Taylor did not say, "We were so over-the-top, we thought thatbecause he was quiet, he would fit in with us without too much upheaval."The correct quote from the original source is, "We thought he was great.We were all so used to each other, and so over the top. We thought that becausehe was quiet, he would fit in with us without too much upheaval. He was a greatbass player, too -- and the fact that he was a wizard with electronics was alsoa deciding factor."

I cannot find any sourcefor the quote by Robert Ahwai, nor much about him, other than the fact that itseems he is a real person. His quote in the article, if it is real, is alsospeculative, and from a person who only knew Deacon from college and had noassociation with him at the time of Freddie Mercury's death.

Unfortunately, whilesearching for information about whether or not Deacon's relationship withdancer Emma Shelley was, indeed, an affair (as well as whether or not sheexisted) I had to compare information about the affairs of Brian May and RogerTaylor. The reason behind this endeavor is to set the bar for how much information ispublished about the personal lives of Queen members. In my search, I foundseveral articles about May's affair with secretary Julie Glover, as well as ahandful of candid photographs. I also found a few articles, and one picture,about Roger Taylor's affair with Fay Lawrence. Despite celebrities' attempts tokeep extramarital affairs secret, there are always a few photographs thatappear, especially in the UK, where tabloid press is viciously always on thelookout for gossip. Paparazzi can earn quite a bit of money from an exclusivephoto.

When Simon Langer and hispartner, John McKeown, took over the Sophisticats strip club in 2001, heestablished several club rules, which directly conflict with information fromthe article. First, that clients in the strip club are not allowed to have anycontact whatsoever with the dancers. The article states that Shelley was a"lap dancer," which would, of course, require some pretty close contact.

Second, dancers are notpermitted to accept addresses or phone numbers from clients. Clients whoacquire personal information are not permitted back into the club, and thedancers are terminated.

I attempted to findcontact information for Mr. Langer or Mr. McKeown, however, I was unable tofind any current addresses or phone numbers. In hopes that an email would reachthe proper entities, I sent a message to the account set up for bookings andauditions, which was the only email address listed on the site.

I wished to ask about howstrictly the rules are enforced. I also found it odd that apparently Mr. Langerhad no problem with giving out client information to the Daily Mail,specifically stating that he knew Deacon visited the establishment. Even more shocking,he gave out information about his employees - someone named "Olga"with no last name given, as well as Emma Shelley. This seemed like a breach oftrust to me.

The strip club that Johnis said to have attended, Sophisticats, does indeed exist. As Sophisticats hasno contact information on their website, I messaged their page on Facebook,asking as to whether they employed any women named "Olga" or"Emma Shelley" circa 2000-2001. I also located an email address aftersome extensive searching, and sent the same question to that email, as well.

Unfortunately,Sophisticats declined comment to my inquiry. The only response I received askedwhether or not I planned on auditioning.

The strangest thing aboutJohn Deacon's alleged affair with Emma Shelley is that one particular photo isposed, as if taken with his permission. Considering the fact that multiplesources (including the Daily Mail, which published the photo) state that Deaconis secretive and reclusive, he would not pose for a photo with a mistress if hewished to keep the affair secret. This photo is also blurry, which is atechnique of photomanipulators who have severely edited a photo. Had Deaconactually posed for this photo, there would be no need for it to be blurry, asthe photographer wouldn't have had to rush to take it. Interestingly, it isalso impossible to tell whether or not the man in the photo is actually JohnDeacon.

The answer to this point might seem obvious - the photos were taken in secret.However, with the saturation and contrast in these photos (a point I willexplore in more detail shortly) they must have been taken with a flash. Whileit might have been possible to take such a photo with a high ISO, the entirepicture would have been extremely bright and grainy. If you check the photos,you'll see that there is absolutely no grain indicative of a high ISO, nor isthere enough blurriness to support a conclusion that any grain was removed. Thebrightness of the subject matter and the extreme black background can only meanthat a flash was used.

Which Deacon would havenoticed. As would have the dancer in the photos. The person who took the photoslikely would have had his camera confiscated, and would have been escorted outof the club - they would not have had the opportunity to take one photo, thenmove, and take a second photo.

And... This is as far as Igot with the research before I stopped working on it. As I was unable to getany further information (including from another club that may have beeninvolved - Stringfellows) I could not continue my research. Take from this whatyou will.Sorry about the incompleteness of this. It's all I was able to accomplish.

#queen #queen band #john deacon #that fucking article that won't fucking die #Anonymous

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stahlop · 5 years

Text

Once Upon a Time 1x04 “The Price of Gold” Review

Review 1x01 1x02 1x03

Right off the bat I have to say that I’m not a fan of Jessy Schram who plays Cinderella. She’s much too passive of an actor. She basically has one emotion and one facial expression the entire time and that totally takes me out of this episode several times. Even when she’s supposed to be happy she just looks angsty. Hopefully, this doesn’t color too much of my review, considering it’s a Cinderella heavy episode.

Synopsis:

Emma tries to help a young pregnant girl while in the Enchanted Forest Cinderella makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin.

Opening:

The fairy godmother flying in the Enchanted Forest.

New Characters:

Ella “Cinderella”/Ashley Boyd: Cinderella seems a very desperate character. I know she is in a desperate situation, being used as a maid and basically abused by her step-mother and step-sisters, but this version is so dark that I have trouble having empathy for her. When we meet her, she is watching her step-family go off to the ball and pouting, when her fairy godmother appears, and then explodes as Rumpelstiltskin kills her! WHAT! Well that’s a switch. Ashley, though, is just interested in what magic can do for her. She doesn’t care that this demon just killed her fairy godmother, she’s just interested in getting out of her current situation no matter what the cost. I do understand that, but she makes a deal with a murderer, doesn’t read the contract, and just assumes what Rumpelstiltskin will want in exchange for him helping her, so she also comes off as really stupid. Luckily, Prince Thomas seems to like the angst-ridden, pouty type and falls for Ella, as we next see them at their wedding, where Rumple appears and let’s her know he wants her first born. Ella’s response to this is not to tell her husband right away or try to prevent getting pregnant, but to try and run away when she is pregnant. Luckily, Thomas is not so stupid and proposes a new deal with the help of Snow and Charming to trap Rumpelstiltskin.

Ashley, is basically at rock bottom. She is 19, about to pop out a baby, works as a maid (a very poor maid as she just accidentally dyed all the sheets pink), and has an unsupportive boyfriend and step-family. She doesn’t believe she can change anything in her life, even though she seems to have Ruby in her corner. Not until Emma basically tells her to stop being a doormat and ‘punch back’ does she start doing something about her life, which apparently means becoming a criminal to break into Gold’s pawn shop. So now she’s pregnant in a town she can’t leave and she’s committed a crime. I see Ashley and Ella are pretty much both really stupid when looking at the long-term. Eventually, she tries to drive out of town and, of course, ends up going into labor. In the end, her ‘prince’ comes back for her and the baby (named Alexandra), and she gets her happy ending.

Prince Thomas/Sean: So, either way, he’s kind of a drip. He doesn’t seem to have much in the way of personality, so I guess he and Cinderella/Ashley are a perfect match. We don’t get to actually see the ball and he and Ella fall in love, so we don’t get to see what attracted Thomas to her, just that he is in love with her and is willing to pay the price for double crossing Rumpelstiltskin. As Sean, he is stuck under Rumpelstiltskin’s price from the Enchanted Forest, which is why he isn’t with Ashley and can’t be with her until Emma transfers the deal to herself. Because of this, he is basically a sullen teenager stuck under his wealthy father’s thumb.

Character Observations:

Rumpelstiltskin/Gold: This is the first time we get to see Rumpelstiltskin out of the jail cell. And wow! What an entrance. He starts off by killing Cinderella’s fairy godmother. WHAT! He becomes Cinderella’s fairy godfather granting her wish to go the ball, but for a price. He makes hints here that what he wants is not the gold or jewels Cinderella thinks he wants. He says what he wants is precious and small. It is never said what Rumpelstiltskin wants Cinderella’s child for. It could possibly be the writer’s don’t know at this point but were just going with the Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale where he demanded the first born from the miller’s daughter. Now, here’s where it gets interesting. When Ella goes to make her second deal with him, it is very obvious that he knows what it about to happen. We know from the Pilot that Rumpelstiltskin can somewhat see into the future. He doesn’t seem to know everything, but it seems he gets bits and pieces, so I’m pretty sure he knew this was coming from his comments. He reminds Ella that magic comes with a price, he takes special interest in the enchanted quill, and he tells her only magic can imprison him (even though they are there to make a deal, no mention of imprisonment). He also seems to be much too happy to sign the contract. Considering his whole thing is to make deals with unsuspecting people, Rumpelstiltskin not reading the contract is suspicious.

Gold knows how to manipulate all the people around him. He appeals to Emma’s bail bondsperson side to look for Ashley after she attacks him and runs. He also seems to know that Emma is the one responsible for Ashley’s change and uses that to guilt Emma into looking for her. He also comments that he’s concerned about her because she’s pregnant, alone, and scared, all things Emma most likely was as well. He also makes sure that Emma does not know why he actually wants Ashley back, just saying that she stole something from him, not knowing that what he’s talking about is her baby. Once Ashley is in labor at the hospital, Gold ‘appeals’ to Emma’s past self, saying that he came to her to find Ashley because he knew Emma would understand, and that if he doesn’t get the baby to put up for private adoption, the baby would end up in the system. Emma dishes right back to him that no jury in the world would put a mother in jail for trying to keep their baby, and if it did go to trial, she’s sure there are things about Gold he wouldn’t want dug up. Gold counters this with asking Emma for a favor in the future so that Ashley can keep her baby. Knowing what we know about Rumpelstiltskin and his penchant for making deals that benefit only himself, I think Gold sent Emma on this journey specifically so he could have her own him a favor down the line.

Emma: She is trying to change in this episode. She is offered a deputy job from Graham, and eventually takes it after her adventures with Ashley. Regina makes her feel like she can’t be a good mother to Henry because she always seems to run from her problems. She talks about how Emma can’t put down roots (which we see when her stuff arrives at Mary Margaret’s and there are only a few boxes), but once she meets Ashley, she decides that if Ashley can stay and get her happy ending with Sean, then maybe that’s what she can do to; get her happy ending with Henry. A lot of the advice Emma gives to Ashley (change things yourself because there are no fairy godmothers in this world) is advice she wishes someone had given to her. She may put on a tough exterior, but she’s really a broken girl inside. She just doesn’t wear it out in the open like Ashley does. Taking the job at the sheriff’s station is two-fold, she puts down some roots, and she sticks it to Regina.

Sheriff Graham: We don’t see much of him in this episode but what we do see is super important. He offers Emma a job as his deputy and when she does accept says that he’ll deal with Regina. Then we find out he is in a sexual relationship with Regina!!! When Emma said Graham was in Regina’s pocket (when he arrested her for stealing Henry’s files), she sure didn’t think he was in that deep.

Regina: She was basically a catalyst for Emma to put down roots in this episode and take the job at the sheriff’s station. We didn’t see much of her except to verbally beat down Emma at the beginning, and to see her leaving after her rendezvous with Graham.

Henry: Again, he is our narrator, guiding us through. He doesn’t seem to know who Gold is, but I would think Rumpelstiltskin would be in the book, Gold’s penchant for making deals should clue him in. He’s already played roles in both Snow/Charming and Cinderella’s stories. We see some more of Henry’s manipulation when he convinces Emma to let him tag along on her search for Ashley. He also gives Emma a reminder that no one can try to leave Storybrooke without consequences except for her. He says it’s because she’s the savior, but he can also leave (even though he says it’s because he had to come back), so I think it’s more because they weren’t part of the curse.

Questions:

What did Rumpelstiltskin want with the fairy wand? Cinderella said it was pure magic, but he said it was pure evil.

What was in Tallahassee that Emma stayed there for two years?

How old was Emma when she had Henry? He was 10 when he found her on her 28th birthday, which means she had to have been 17 when he was born, but she tells Ashley she was 18 when she had him.

Oh god! Was Ashley technically pregnant for 28 years before the curse broke?

Did Regina really leave Henry alone all day to go have sex with Graham?

How soon after Snow and Charming’s wedding did Cinderella and Thomas get married? We see Snow and Charming at the reception. Snow is not pregnant yet (or not showing yet). Everyone also seems pretty happy considering the threat of a curse should be hanging over their heads. It doesn’t feel like this happened after Snow and Charming’s wedding, but it had to have because they are together.

How does no one see Rumpelstiltskin at the wedding? Do they not know what he looks like? Are there many men out there with gold skin? This seems rather odd.

Why does everyone want to go to Boston (which Emma states is 4 hours away) when Portland is closer?

Since Regina is not cursed and Graham is, would sex together be considered rape?

Observations:

The Fairy Godmother is dressed much better than the Blue Fairy. Much less boobage and no weird jellyfish skirt.

Regina’s speech to Emma about people not changing and just fooling themselves into believing they can hits a little too close to home. Me thinks the lady doth protests too much.

Things we see in Gold’s pawn shop: the glass unicorn mobile from Emma’s nursery, some really scary marionette puppets.

Ella doesn’t see herself as an inspiration like Snow says she is. She says all she did was get married.

Ruby has a red, crystal wolf hanging from her rear-view mirror.

Henry states that Emma can leave Storybrooke without consequences, but when she tried to leave in the Pilot, the wolf stopped her.

Rumpelstiltskin’s cell was made by dwarves in the mines.

Ashley picks out the same name for their daughter that Thomas wanted to name her in the Enchanted Forest.

Henry loses a shoe on the stairs getting back to his room, just like in the Cinderella story.

Once Upon a Time Firsts:

All magic comes with a price

Gold gets a favor for the future from Emma.

Names:

Ashley refers to ashes which is another word for cinders, which is where Cinderella got her name.

Boyd - Ashley’s last name means fair or yellow, just like her hair.

Thomas means twin, and while he doesn’t have a twin, he suggests that they make Rumpelstiltskin think they’re having twins to renegotiate the deal.

Sean is the Irish version of John which means to be gracious. Sean becomes much more gracious to have Ashley and Alexandra in his life once the deal is off and he can return to them.

If you couldn’t tell this is not one of my favorite episodes. I think it gives a lot of insight into Rumpelstiltskin/Gold, but the Cinderella/Ashley storyline was not that great.

As usual feedback is welcome. Please let me know your thoughts about anything and please reblog!!!

@searchingwardrobes @thisonesatellite @justbecauseyoubelievesomething

@laschatzi @profdanglaisstuff @mariakov81

#once upon a time #once upon a time rewatch #once upon a time 1x04 #once upon a time the price of gold

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jgfiles · 6 years

Note

Hello, I read your theory about Jitsui & Fukumoto personality and I really love your theory ^^ Uhm, can I ask you tell something about Tazaki, Kaminaga and Amari personality as you did with Jitsui & Fukumoto? Thank you I'm sorry if it bothered you ^^

Yes, sure you can!

(Friendly reminder to everyone else about how here are Jitsui and Fukumoto post)

Now Tazaki.

First let’s have his description from the official web.

We know in the novel he studied at Oxford and was looked down for being Japanese however he excelled with the sword to the point he grew overconfident with it and would fight with his left instead than with his right hand... which caused him to be promptly beaten in D Agency as Yuki tattled out his weaknesses.

So i think although Tazaki appears calm and friendly here and there this is only a mask to hide more negative emotions and that he’s pretty critic on the inside.

Still he’s very patient in explaining things, though he can also use it for manipulative purposes. We see him chatting amiably with the kids... but it’s actually a way to persuade them to do what he wants.

In the drama cd it’s commented more than once how he’s a mob character, a character, in short a person who looks absolutely generic and normal (in the drama cd the boys all have strong distinctive traits, opposed to Tazaki)... though he can act pretty strict when he wants to. It seems pidgeons have a soothing effects on him, because when he’s stressed he tends to conjure up lots of them as hinted by a dialogue in the side material.

In a preview he also complained he was incredibly sleepy... so I think he’s one who feels the stress a lot. Though people think it’s him who takes care of pidgeons it seems it was revealed who’s actually Yuuki who does so... but Tazaki too seems pretty fond of them (and in the Joker Game stage the actor who played his role was allowed to name the pidgeons).

Next Kaminaga.

Kaminaga is apaprently less serious than Tazaki and though he’s not as critic as Miyoshi he can be pretty critic as well. I’ve always found meaningful how he told Sakuma people in a pinch would switch their faith easily but when he ended up in a pinch he didn’t betray for real but only pretended to.

I wonder if Sakuma’s honest nature influenced him.

From one side Kaminaga seems Miyoshi’s partner in crime in pranks, though from the other he’s less serious than Miyoshi and the two can get in arguments. Still they’re often represented together. The drama cd depicts him as one who goes after each girl he sees but dreams to find The One.

In the movie he’s shown as Yuuki’s second in command and even Miwa Shiro assumed Kaminaga would inherit Yuuki’s position once the war had ended.

When he was under drugs in D Agency, apparently he managed to control himself and, instead than reveal things he made up a bunch of lies about Yuuki.

There are chibi pictures of him depicting him having a poor relationship with pidgeons and fear of injections. In a drama cd he’s in the cooking club but he doesn’t cook, he just eats what Fukumoto cooks.

Lastly Amari.

Amari is the sort of person who doesn’t worry much about situations and comes out as very friendly, though he apparently worries about his mates. His chibi pictures hints he likes dogs a lot.

Also there are many hints he’s a ladies man

He gets along with Hatano well enough and admires his physical ability. In the drama cd though he also puts him in troubles a lot.

Although he doesn’t worry much about consequences, since he worries about people he takes upon himself responsibility for Emma. Although Miwa Shiro jokes he carried her to D Agency in the novels he moved to live with her in Hawaii. Always accoding to Miwa Shiro he ends up on a wheelchair with Emma still taking care of him. no idea if this was the plan but it can be this was due to him being arrested and tortured after the Pearl Harbour attack.

I hope this helps!

#Joker Game #Amari #Tazaki #Kaminaga #Ask

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 6 years

Text

Who You Should Fight: Timeless Edition

So I did a version of this months and months ago but it was at the very beginning of season two and is no longer accurate so take two, here we go!

Note: This assumes you have read @timeless-season-three. If you haven’t, what are you doing? Do you not love yourself? Go read it.

Lucy: Um. I mean. On the one hand yes, you should fight Lucy because she’s got a lot of rage she needs to work out and you will provide an excellent opportunity but on the other hand Flynn’s going to literally murder you. And Wyatt’s probably gonna help him. So I mean if you want to get one good fight in before a 6′4″ one man army mows you down and obliterates your soul then sure! Go right ahead! But why you’d even WANT to fight Lucy is beyond me, who are you, Emma? What did our darling historian ever do to you? Do you just hate sunshine?

Wyatt: Please fight him. Absolutely. Here I’ll help you. Boy needs a good ass kicking. Will you win the fight? Possibly, I mean, God knows Wyatt’s gotten his ass kicked by both Emma and Flynn multiple times now so his record isn’t all that great but on the other hand he was trained by an elite military squad so I’m not sure whatever gym membership you have is going to cut it. BUT WINNING DOESN’T MATTER. FIGHT HIM. ABSOLUTELY FIGHT WYATT LOGAN.

Rufus: Okay first of all what kind of monster are you. You would fight this cinnamon roll? After all he’s been through? After he’s been nothing but a good and pure soul who has saved the day constantly? Did you not get hugged enough as a child? Sure. SURE. Go ahead and fight Rufus. See how long it takes before the entire Time Team pile drives you for it.

Flynn: Hahahahahaha. *cough* I mean. Yes, you should fight Flynn because he’s always in the mood for a good fight but uh. I hope you made arrangements for your funeral ahead of time. You’ve seen him in action right? There’ll be a stain on the floor where you used to be standing. Really, for your own personal safety, don’t fight Flynn.

Jiya: ...you want to fight the woman who spent three years alone in Chinatown and has visions of the future. I wasn’t aware that you had a death wish, but far from me to stop you from dying by Jiya’s hand if that’s how you want to go. She’s not going to fight fair, I can tell you that much, she definitely now carries at least one (1) knife concealed on her person at all times. And even if you did somehow win you’d have Flynn to deal with for kicking the ass of his basically-adopted-daughter, so, y’know, either way your ass is grass. Don’t fight Jiya. She is Tired and wants a Rest. Don’t fight her.

Denise: Y’know what? Yes. Fight Denise. She needs to get off her high horse a little especially after all that bullshit she dumped on Flynn and God knows she hasn’t been able to get out all the frustration the Time Team’s been giving her. She deserves a good fight just for all that romantic bedhopping drama in season two. One hundred percent fight Denise. You’ll probably lose, but it’ll be a good fair fight and she’ll buy you dinner or something afterwards. Fight Denise.

Mason: If you really need an ego boost, then definitely fight Mason. The poor man’s probably thrown a punch, what, twice in his life? By all means fight Mason. It’ll kind of be like kicking a puppy while it’s down because of all the emotional shit he’s been through and the guilt he feels constantly over inventing time travel and losing the man he loves as a son and being stuck alone in a safe house for a month thinking all his friends had possibly died... actually how about you don’t fight Mason. My God. Hasn’t he been through enough?

Emma: Please fight Emma. You’ll die in the process but you’ll die a goddamn hero and you’ll have the entire Time Team up in her ass avenging you. And hey if you surprise her you’ll actually get a few good hits in before she eviscerates you. Go to Valhalla. Fight Emma.

Jess: Okay let’s start with how if you’re fighting a pregnant woman I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Second of all, I mean, good fucking luck staying alive once Wyatt hears about it. You fought his pregnant wife and endangered the life of his kid? I mean with that track record he’ll probably be able to convince Flynn to help him and that is NOT a duo you want on your back. Of course this is all assuming you win the fight, because Jess might not have a lot of prowess but she’s also literally at the end of her mental rope and I’m not sure you want to be the person she finally unleashes all of that rage on. Don’t fight Jess. Why am I even having to explain this to you. Just don’t.

Temple: If you don’t fight Temple or at least want to fight him then I’m not sure I can respect you as a human being. The man’s useless at hand to hand combat so you’ll actually win this fight, too, and that’s always a fun ego boost. Fight Temple. In the street, in the office, on the bus, in the Denny’s parking lot, it doesn’t matter, JUST FIGHT TEMPLE.

Jane: Well, you’ll have Wyatt to deal with afterwards, and I’m not sure why you would want to fight a literal teenager, but if you want to feel better about your fighting skills then feel free to fight Jane. She’ll put up a good fight and I don’t think she’ll hold that much of a grudge afterwards. If you want a good fun friendly fight, then fight Jane. Just be prepared to run for your life when Wyatt hears about it.

Timothy: You want to fight a literal baby boy who just wants to be himself? Are you truly heartless? You’ll literally kick his ass to kingdom come, kid’s like 90 pounds dripping wet, but Denise will show you no mercy afterwards and Wyatt’s gonna be real pissed that you reopened all those stitches he put in so it’ll possibly be the last thing you ever do. If you’re determined, sure, fight Timothy, but I’m not responsible for where your soul goes afterwards.

#timeless #timeless s3 #timeless-season-three #Time Team #bunker family #lucy preston #garcia flynn #wyatt logan #rufus carlin #jiya marri #denise christopher #connor mason #emma whitmore #jessica logan #michael temple

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celticheartedfangirl · 6 years

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25 Fucking Stupid Writing Choices OUAT Made

This post is a snarky response to Adam and Eddy’s little humble brag article that came out today:

http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/14/once-upon-time-crazy-storylines/

This is meant to be snarky and critical and if you don’t like that -- don’t read it. (MY post, not the link above.)

Look, I am a OUAT fan an there are many things I love about the show. But there are many I just DON’T LOVE and I think they’re worth discussing. If you don’t like criticism, you won’t like this post. That’s fine.

Thank you for all the suggestions! I think I got quite a bit crammed in here.

Under the cut for length and so as not to upset those who only want to ‘think lovely thoughts’ . . . . .

25. Here’s a magic doohickey thingy we’ve never heard of before but NOW we’re using this thing.

Look, I’m not gonna list all the MacGuffins this show has used, I’d be here all day and there are worse things they’ve done, and this IS a show about magic after all.

But there’s also such a thing as overkill. And there was too much MacGuffin use that we didn’t know about before in this show. It was far too convenient and usually used as a cop out in lieu of – you know – actual STORY TELLING. THAT is my MacGuffin issue. Don’t use it to replace character development. We’re not here for that.

24. The Lost Boys/The Untold Stories and Other Dropped Plots

So the Lost Boys -- Did they get homes? Did they grow up? I don’t know! Do you? Of course not – we’ll never know!

What about all those Untold Stories folks? Weren’t there a bunch of them? Are they still meandering around in Storybrooke?

Edited to add: Maleficent and Lily. SO SORRY I forgot to initially include you in this one. My bad. You are missed, ladies!

Edited once more to add: Poor Gideon. Both parents dead and his extended family doesn’t give a shit about him. Or at least I assume so because we don’t know where he is. The child of Beauty and the Beast -- treated like a disposable plot device. Nice.

OUAT is great with creating and LOUSY with follow through. I know there are many others. But there shouldn’t be. There shouldn’t be that many dropped plots on this show. If you’re not going to follow through with a story line, why add the characters AT ALL? Speaking of that . . .

23. JFC, how many new characters do we NEED on this show???

Especially since you still haven’t figured out what to do with some of the ones that are CONTRACT PLAYERS on your show! Hey, didn’t Archie and Ruby used to be those? (Waves hi to Belle! Also the Charmings post S4. More on that later.)

22. You know – Rumple is Henry’s GRANDFATHER

He is! Really!

You’d never fucking KNOW IT, would you? The erasure of any sort of familial relationship with Henry/Rumple was a damned shame. And much of that, I believe, was because if they acknowledged THAT, they’d have to mention the character they want us to forget. More on that later.

21. The Shattered Sight Hype

Remember what a BIG DEAL the whole Shattered Sight thing was gonna be in S4? OMG people say what they REALLY FEEL about each other! It’s gonna be EPIC!!!

And then it – wasn’t. We basically got some Snowing/Evil Queen snark, Henry bitching at Hook, and Belle – well, Belle was asleep – what else is new?

I think of all the things that were PROMOTED as something amazing for this show – this is the one that was a big old dud and a whole lot of NOTHING.

20. Belle’s mom/Belle is written out of her own storyline in S6

In Family Business we met Belle’s Mom for about two minutes. Then she was dead. And Belle didn’t remember what happened. And then – we never heard about it again.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to know what happened there. Why didn’t Belle remember? Did Moe get a roofie magic thingy from Arthur? Did Belle’s mom turn into an ogre and she killed her and blocked it out?

SO MANY possibilities there. But hey – it’s just Belle. Why write a story for HER?

In the same regard -- whatever your thoughts are on Rumbelle in S6 (MHO – it was garbage and an OOC shit fest, but that’s just me) – what happened with Gideon – Belle’s SON – was because of HER CHOICE. Choices have consequences. And in GOOD WRITING – the person that MADE the choice that caused the mess is supposed to be the person to help CLEAN IT UP.

But apparently – it was a better thing for ZELENA of all people to be the one to do that. And Emma and Hook too. Because why the hell not, right? That makes all the sense.

Yes, Rumple played his part too in the whole Gideon mess. And he did get to take part in the resolution. But that was something they should have done TOGETHER (what a concept!), and overall Belle was just – not part of it. Even in the last two minutes they sidelined her with a sprained ankle. Absolutely ridiculous. Which leads me to . . . .

19. Belle being sidelined since Season Two.

OUAT brought the lovely Emilie de Ravin onto the show as a regular cast member in Season Two, and had no fucking idea what to do with her character. So she gets fridged. She gets stuck in the hospital, left behind while the rest go to Neverland, she’s very fond of naps, she’s forgotten about in Camelot, not cared about while in a sleeping curse because the “heroes” care more about “stopping” her “evil” hubby (see #17) and written out of her own damn storyline in 6B (see #20) – and then she’s dead. (More on that later.)

I love Belle. I love Rumbelle. And I will forever be resentful that for the bulk of her time on the show, the character of Belle, one of my fictional heroes, was written as nothing but a plot device. She deserved so much better.

18. The Musical Episode

I mean – if this nonsense (and it WAS nonsense) had moved the story forward, I could maybe – MAYBE – let this one slide. But it didn’t. It just rehashed the same shit that we had been talking about for 6 seasons. And then Hook married Emma and her Stepford Wife conversion therapy was complete. (More on that later.) This episode WILL NOT HOLD UP in the future. Future generations will be “WTF-ing” all over the place with this one, mark my words.

17. Rumple is a Hero – no he’s a Villain – No wait he’s a hero, nope a villain, make up your DAMN MIND WRITERS!!!!!

I got whiplash trying to follow the trajectory of Rumple’s story, as many times as they changed his characterization. He’s a villain – then in 3A he’s a hero. Then he’s the victim of a molester and kidnapper and show doesn’t address that AT ALL. Oops he’s evil again. Except now he’s not – his heart is PURE! He pulled Excalibur out of the rock, he’s a HERO! Nah – he’s dark again. Bad Rumple! Oooh now he’s REALLY DARK and his fetus with no brain stem hates him and his wife is living on a boat with his sworn ENEMY while pregnant, so he traps here there (!!!!!) and he’s macking on the Evil Queen . . . come ON. Enough already.

Rumple is a complex character. You can’t just flip/flop willy nilly with a complex character. You have to know how to write them as nuanced, and CONSISTENLY complex but never falling fully into one camp or the other of ‘good’ or ‘evil.’

Rumple is played by Robert Carlyle, one of the best actors around. And the ONLY saving grace from the horrible writing of this character over the years is the fact that Bobby knew how to play him most of the time – even when the writers didn’t know how to WRITE HIM. Which was almost ALL the time.

16. Hook is a Dark One/Resurrecting Dead Hook/Hook the Gary Stu

I toyed with ranking the dark one higher on the list and as its own thing because really, this reveal caused the biggest MID EPISODE ratings drop in the history of the show up to that point. Nobody liked it. Nobody wanted it. And it ended up being a setup to the ‘Save Hook’ trajectory because of COURSE of all the characters in the history of the show, HE was the one that deserved saving THE MOST. But I think all of these things tie together.

What this moment did was solidify the fact that Hook was officially a “Stu” character. He definitely had Gary Stu tendencies up to this point, and was basically an irritant to anyone but CS/Hook fans, but from here on? That’s pretty much all he was and all he’d ever be until he was replaced (or should I say upgraded?) by his doppelganger.

I combined the DO/Save Hook/Stu thing because it was in the Underworld that Hook’s full Stu-pification took place. There wasn’t a line of people he had murdered wanting a word with him – as there SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

And Hook still got to keep all his murder trinkets when he got resurrected and made out with his girlfriend over Robin’s grave. What a guy.

15. Regina/The Evil Queen Stay Split

I’m just saying – wouldn’t it have been better character growth for Regina to have to live with her ‘evil’ half than to split it off? And no, the ‘heart mixing’ thing doesn’t count. I get that the whole thing was really fan service to the Outlaw Queen fandom. But that doesn’t make it good writing.

14. The Wish Realm

Oh, I could write a whole post about this (and I may do that at some point) but there are so many damn holes in the whole Wish Realm mess I wouldn’t even know where to start. But so many things about it just DO NOT line up in a sensible way. And even if you find one that DOES, it’ll create three things that DON’T line up.

I’d have bought a ‘parallel universe’ over the ‘wish realm’ stuff. They could have gone with that and it would have made much more sense. But you know – they wanted dead Belle, dead Baelfire, dead Snowing, no Emma and old Hook so – Wish realm it was. I just got to a point where I didn’t care anymore. But that doesn’t negate the stupid.

13. The Timeline

The timeline in OUAT made sense – and then it didn’t. And then they just stopped trying. And I stopped caring. But for paid, professional writers – just not cool. DO YOUR JOB!!!!!

12. Will Scarlett

Do I really need to say any more here? No? Didn’t think so. Moving on.

11. Neal’s Apartment in New York City

Have you ever been to NYC? Places of residence are at a premium there. There is no way in hell that an abandoned apartment wouldn’t have been emptied and taken over by a new resident in that much time. And I’m sorry, but odds are Neal did NOT pre-pay his rent for TWO YEARS out.

10. Belle and Hook – Best Friends Forever!*

You know – no woman with a brain in her head would befriend a man who straight up tried to murder her FOUR TIMES. So, either Belle doesn’t have a brain in her head, or that’s some crap writing right there. (My vote is with the latter if you’re wondering.)

It was bad enough when Belle was just handing over the dagger to “Hook” in S4 (yes, I know it was Rumple but details shmetails, Belle didn’t know that), but a PREGNANT BELLE going to live on a boat with Hook to be ‘safe’ – come on. Who does that? I get that Adam and Eddy wanted to wave the middle finger at the Rumbelle fandom, but they could have found a way to do that without making Belle look STUPID.

*Honorable mention to Belle/Zelena being friends which was equally as stupid

9. Zelena is Marian

Come ON – they pulled that one out of their asses halfway through S4 because they wanted to find a way to bring back Bex. There was NO INDICATION of that until the reveal. Because it didn’t EXIST until the reveal. Ridiculous.

8. Making the Charmings Supporting Players

Starting with S4, Snow and David basically became secondary characters. They had MOMENTS, but overall they were on the backburner and if they left the show at any point – would it have made a difference to ANY of the trajectory they were playing out? I’d say no.

I mean – how the hell did that happen? How do you run out of ideas with the couple that you touted as THE ‘main couple’ after only three seasons? I don’t get it.

7. Golden Queen

Just no. There was never anything romantic between these two characters. It was stupid and out of character for both of them. No.

6. Queer baiting 101

If you gender-swapped either Emma or Regina – made one of them a man – they’d be banging by S2 and by the end of the series they’d be married with at least two more kids and three break-ups/reunions between them. (Hey, I watch soaps, I know how this shit works.)

The chemistry between the actors is there. They share a kid. But they’re both women. And you know – family show -- #nohomo and all. Sure.

The writers KNEW that Swan Queen was popular. Now okay – if ABC didn’t want to go there, fine. I don’t agree with that, but fine.

But don’t keep freaking queer baiting your fans every chance you get! It never stopped. In fact, it got progressively WORSE as the show went on! That’s just bullshit right there. Either do it or drop it. Because what OUAT did with Emma and Regina and the baiting of their fans was just flat out shitty.

And if that weren’t bad enough, we got the whole queer baiting with Mulan/Aurora, and THEN in S5 we’re handed Dorothy/Ruby as a token olive branch to the LGBT community and then – we never see them again!

Okay, in S7 they got on the right track with Alice and Robin. I will give them that. But after six years of baiting, it kind of rang hollow for many, and rightly so.

5. Hey, Here’s a Person of Color – Let’s Kill Them!

One of the first warnings I give to any new OUAT is ‘don’t get attached to any POC’ and with good reason. They don’t last long on OUAT.

Now I don’t want to assume or accuse any of the OUAT writers of flat out racism but . . .. . you’ve gotta admit – they don’t have the best track record there.

It’s especially obvious when they bring on a character that is compelling and portrayed by a charismatic actor that the audience enjoys. Lancelot, Merlin, and Facilier are the three best examples of that. Okay, so Lance was resurrected but – where’d he go? Is he still trying to undo dead-Arthur’s roofie on Guinevere?

And then we have an amazing hero and a compelling villain in Merlin and Facilier, respectively. Both of these characters – and their actors – were bright spots in the show. So naturally – they needed to die. Without their storylines resolved.

But it was just a coincidence that they weren’t white. Of course it was.

4. The Death of Belle

Yeah, yeah, I know, Beauty was a beautifully written episode and Bobby and Emilie loved it and we got some great moments, blah blah blah . . . . . . but was it NECESSARY? Did they REALLY NEED to kill off Belle? You’re telling me that there’s absolutely, positively, not one plausible scenario for S7 wherein Belle is in Hyperion Heights and Rumple can find a way to rid himself of the darkness WITH HER THERE???? Really? They couldn’t write even one lousy full season of Rumbelle (hello BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) happy and in love with struggles but still beating the darkness in the end? Really??? There weren’t any options for that scenario AT ALL???? Give me a break.

3. The Stepford Swan

Over the course of seven years, many of the OUAT characters suffered with out- of-character moments. It’s not uncommon and I would even venture to say that this happens on occasion on MOST television shows. But on OUAT, it was a common occurrence from Season Four onward. And NONE of the characters experienced as much of an out of character de-evolution as Emma Swan.

When we first met Emma Swan she was a badass, intelligent, independent woman. Yes, she had her issues and her inner demons and we saw her work past those as the series progressed.

And then . . . . she got a boyfriend. And he became the center of her universe. And Emma – changed. The writers (and Jennifer Morrison) will swear up and down that it was an ‘evolution’ but I’m sorry – a character that starts OUT like this:

Does not END UP like this:

That’s not evolution. That’s a shell of a woman dependent on a man for her self-worth. That’s NOT who Emma Swan is. This was THE worst character assassination on the show, and I’d say it’d be up (down?) there in the top 10 (er, bottom 10?) of worst character assassinations in all of television. What a shame.

2. Rapists – rapists everywhere!

Once Upon a Time has always been marketed as a family show. For a family show – there’s sure a heck of a lot of rape in it.

The first CANON rapist we have is Regina and her 28+ year imprisonment and repeated sexual assault of Graham. Regina came a long way as a character in the show’s 7-year run – but it would have done great service to her if this had been addressed somehow. Now, I know that Jamie Dornan is all famous and off making money playing Christian Grey but – you know, in this particular case – I’d have been good with either a recast or at the VERY least an apologetic mention. But we never got that.

And that’s the problem with every rapey issue on this show – it’s never addressed for what it is. In fact – it’s really not addressed at all. Hook’s rape jokes in S2 are treated like ‘playful banter’ by the writers, cast, and viewers alike. Zelena’s ‘Hester the Molester’ stuff with Rumple in S3 doesn’t even warrant a discussion. Hook’s rapey innuendo in the CS movie is also waved off. Then we have Zelena raping Robin in S4, Arthur magic roofie-ing Guinevere and probably raping her in S5 (Is she still roofied? Who knows!), and Mother Gothel raping Nook in S7.

That’s a hell of a lot of rape for a “family show.” And aside from the off-handed comment from Robin about lack of consent with Zelena, none of it is addressed for what it is – RAPE.

1. The Death of Baelfire/Neal Cassidy

In Season One there were three main story line arcs driving the series: Regina’s war with Snow White, Emma as The Savior, and Rumpelstiltskin’s quest to reunite with his son, Baelfire. All three stories intertwined, and it only made sense that the trajectory of the show would be that in the end, all of these characters would somehow come together, as they all were tied to one character: Henry.

Unfortunately, the writers made the foolish decision in Season Three to execute one of the main (if not THE main) driving forces on the show. Baelfire/Neal was connected to all of the aforementioned people, and his loss was a blow to everyone. At least it should have been. But that’s not what we saw.

Not only was Neal/Baelfire killed off – he was flat out ERASED from the show. His name from the point of his death on was rarely brought up. We didn’t get to see anyone truly mourn or grieve him. (Okay Rumple, but BARELY – and anyone who has lost a child understands that it’s quite possibly the deepest type of grief imaginable. I’m told you never get over it.) As the show moved forward, you could literally spot the times when the writers made deliberate dialogue choices to avoid saying the name Neal/Baelfire in places where it not only made sense, it was WARRANTED.

Let’s be REAL here – we all know the “reason” Bae/Neal was written off the show. I don’t care what the writers say. I’m not an idiot and neither are you. And I’m sorry, but if the ONLY WAY you can think of to make a “romance” happen on a show is to kill off a character that would be forever “in the way” of said romance – you’re not a skilled enough writer to be writing a television show for a major network. I mean – it works in spiteful fanfic (which I am more than guilty of writing). But for a television show? The viewers deserve better than that. NEAL/BAELFIRE and every character that ever loved him deserved better than that.

I know I probably missed a bunch but I really did try to hit the highlights and put them in the order they deserved.

Thoughts? Comments? If you think I’m missing a tag for this (I’m doing my best) let me know and I’ll add it.

#ouat criticism #anti ouat writers #anti hook #anti cs #anti stepford swan #tw: rape #anti zelena #anti golden queen

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scarlet--wiccan · 5 years

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do you know what's going on in marauders right now?

sort of? They’ve been packing a lot of different plot threads into this series. Also, don’t tell anyone, but I’m poor and I don’t actually buy all of the comics that I read-- some of them I just skim on a, uhh, website.

Anyways relevant to this week’s issue: Kitty, for some unknown reason, is unable pass through the Krakoa gates, and is thus the only main X-Man not currently living on the island. Emma offers her a position as the Red Queen, which entails shipping Krakoan medicines around the world on a boat and also running rescue missions for mutants who are stuck in places with heavy anti-mutant policing. Along the way, an anti-mutant hate group called Homines Verendi started popping up and making trouble. There’s also lot of political stuff with the Hellfire Club and the Quiet Council, which I haven’t really followed that well, but the main point is that Sebastian Shaw is the Black King, and he wants to oust Kitty and replace her with his son, Shinobi. To that end, Shaw actually murdered Kitty and dumped her body in the ocean, where it was discovered by Bishop, who reported Kitty’s death back to Emma. Thus far, I don’t think anyone’s figured out it was Sebastian who killed her-- he set it up to look like the Verendi group is responsible. The most recent issue was really just various characters hearing about, and reacting to, her death.

As we know, the mutant society of Krakoa has protocols in place for resurrecting murder victims, however, there’s some doubt as to whether or not the procedure will work for Kitty because of her weird issue with the gates. I don’t understand why that would be the case, but Shaw seems to be convinced of it, which is why he went ahead with killing her. I assume that Emma, Storm, Bobby, and her other friends will do whatever it takes to see her brought back. What’s really weird about this is that Kitty is currently active, and alive, in at least one other book. I know chronology can get muddled in comics, but it definitely weakens the impact of a character death to have said character ... still alive in a different book. We’ll see!

One of the numerous subplots in Marauders is that Yellowjacket, the Ant-Man villain, has shrunken to a microscopic size and infested the body of Pyro, who was a member of Kitty’s crew. Yellowjacket is currently camped out in Pyro’s eyeball and using his vantage point to relay information about Krakoa back to Homines Verendi, which, as it turns out, is being led by Kade Kilgore and his posse of creepy kids. The next issue is, I believe, going to focus on this storyline.

Oh, and Bobby was a guest judge on Drag Race.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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10 Best Movies of 2021 (So Far)

https://ift.tt/3iTu7sI

Can you ever really go home? Millions of cinephiles are likely asking themselves this as summer 2021 winds down with doubt again lingering over their favorite movie houses. For a time, theaters were once again open for big business in the U.S. and UK, and remain so in at least one of those venues. But box office reports paint an ambiguous future, and many casual moviegoers clearly remain reluctant about returning to the cinema.

Nonetheless, it’s still good to be back in those old familiar places, as well as to have an ever expanding list of options to discover on streaming. Compared to last year, 2021 feels like a sunny balm, particularly now that the heaviest hitters and biggest surprises of July and the dog days of summer have landed.

It’s why we typically save our “mid-year” ranking for that deep breath between the end of summer escapism and the awards season push that begins in September. There have been some real treats on the 2021 calendar, so whether you’ve seen the entire list below or are looking for something you missed, sit back and enjoy a collection of the best movies of 2021. So far.

10. Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo wrote and star in this bizarre, brightly colored, and utterly joyful comedy that defies expectations throughout. The two are middle-aged best friends who take their very first vacation to Florida together to visit the idyllic Vista del Mar.

But it’s not all cocktails and banana boats. Behind the scenes, super villain Sharon Fisherman (also played by Wiig) has an evil plan for the resort. With shades of the best of Austin Powers (though far more sincere) Barb and Star is a good natured friendship comedy through a surrealist lens, which could scratch an itch for anyone missing a bit of beach time this year.

9. Psycho Goreman

Unexpected gem of the year surely goes to this utterly bonkers grue-filled cosmic horror B-movie which is also really funny and kind of sweet at the same time. It follows annoying little shit Mimi (Nita-Josee Hanna) who bullies her brother Luke (Owen Myre) mercilessly. After defeating him in a game of “crazy ball,” Luke’s punishment is to dig his own grave (!) but instead the pair discover an artifact which turns out to be the key to controlling a universal evil imprisoned on earth for trying to destroy the galaxy.

So of course Mimi names him Psycho Goreman and forces him to hang out with her family and friends despite his insistence that he will bathe in their blood the moment he is freed. From Steven Kostanski, the director of 2016’s The Void, Psycho Goreman is a spot-on blend of brutal slaying and hardcore gore, a cosmic plotline involving an alien council and a wholesome family comedy. An unexpected delight.

8. Cruella

Emma Stone is a punk rock designer in the mold of Vivienne Westwood in this vibrant London-set comedy, which is on paper a prequel to 101 Dalmatians. But in reality, take it as a standalone and you’ll have way more fun.

Up and coming fashionista Estella manages to impress one of the leading designers The Baroness (Emma Thompson) and secures a coveted job at her world famous fashion house. But when Estella discovers a dark secret relating to her own past, she takes on the outrageous alter-ego Cruella to destroy The Baroness by out-fashioning her at every opportunity.

Packed with banging tunes and great dresses, Cruella is a high energy spectacle but it’s the sparring of the two Emmas that brings the real electricity. Forget any future she might have as a puppy killer, in her own film, Cruella is a legend.

7. In the Heights

The sunniest film to hit theaters this season, Jon M. Chu’s In the Heights was as sugary sweet as the frozen Piragua Lin-Manuel Miranda hocks around this movie’s block. Based on the Hamilton composer’s earlier Tony winning musical, the picture was the rare thing: a Broadway adaptation that actually soars as high as its stage production and (rarer still) the first Hollywood blockbuster with an all-Latinx cast.

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The film came under fair criticism on social media for not being as inclusive as it could be, but that shouldn’t be the last word on such a big-hearted achievement. From the buoyant performances which have already opened doors for Anthony Ramos and Leslie Grace’s immense charisma, to the Latin, salsa, and hip-hop infused melodies which celebrate a culture long left out of the Hollywood image of American life, In the Heights is a jubilant celebration. There really hasn’t been a giddier time at the multiplex this year. Plus, those “96,000” and “Carnaval del Barrio” sequences really are fire.

6. Zola

Based on a “true” story which was told via a series of tweets posted back in 2015 (and the subsequent Rolling Stone article that brought the tale to prominence), Zola is a stranger-than-fiction saga seen through the lens of social media. An ultra contemporary, experimental, low budget comedy-thriller with a backdrop of abuse and sex trafficking, the film is as willfully uncomfortable to watch as it is massively entertaining.

From the jump, Zola (Taylour Paige) is a Detroit waitress and part time exotic dancer who meets a customer named Stefani (Riley Keough) and agrees to take a trip with her to Florida to hit up strip clubs where Stefani promises they’ll make a lot of money. With them are Stefani’s feckless boyfriend (Succession’s Nicholas Braun) and her obviously dodgy roommate. Sometimes told through spoken tweets with switches in perspective, this marks director Janicza Bravo as a compelling new voice, and her cast of leads as nothing short of captivating.

How much of what you’re watching actually happened? Well, that’s the elusive quality of social media…

5. Judas and the Black Messiah

Fred Hampton was murdered with the consent and planning of law enforcement at both federal and local jurisdiction levels. That Judas and the Black Messiah made this common knowledge would be reason enough for consideration. Yet that director Shaka King tells Hampton’s story so thrillingly here elevates his film into one of the most compelling crime dramas in years—only with the FBI’s illegal COINTELPRO program being the primary criminal element.

Told from the perspective of the man who spied on the Black Panthers and eventually facilitated the raid that took Hampton’s life, Judas radiates a despairing quality which somehow can still feel electrifying whenever Daniel Kaluuya’s powerhouse performance takes center stage. Which is pretty much any time the Black Panther chairman takes the microphone. Kaluuya deserved his Oscar, but LaKeith Stanfield’s paranoid turn as Bill O’Neal, the poor bastard coerced into being a snitch while still a kid, is what gets under your skin and walks beside you after the credits roll.

4. Pig

Are there really folks out there who wandered into a screening of Pig and assumed they’d get the Nicolas Cage knockoff of John Wick? I like to think so, just as I love to imagine what they said to each other afterward. To be sure, Michael Sarnoski’s Pig sounds on paper like something in that ballpark: Cage plays a hermit living in self-exile from his past life when ruffians steal his beloved… truffle pig. In response, he comes down from the mountain, ready to reengage with the old ways.

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Yet when you realize those old ways involve being the greatest chef in his state—and reengagement means partaking in a fight club that’s far more pitiful than it sounds and simply cooking gourmet meals—the more apparent it is that this is a sophisticated, nuanced allegory about grief and self-identity. Anchored by Cage’s best performance in a long, long time, Pig is a gentle and revelatory experience that slowly unpacks its brilliance piece by piece, vignette by vignette. For those coming in wanting fast food, this probably will be a disappointment. For all others, it’s a resplendent five course meal.

3. The Suicide Squad

For once the marketing wasn’t kidding. Writer-director James Gunn does have a horribly beautiful mind, and we at last get to see it fully unleashed on a superhero property. Yes, the filmmaker made many cry over a CGI tree and talking raccoon in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, but perhaps not since Logan has a storyteller seen such free rein over valuable studio IP. Gunn didn’t waste it.

The Suicide Squad plays very much like the men and women on a mission ‘60s capers its director grew up on, but that structure is channelled here through a filthy and deranged sensibility. How else can you describe a picture that makes you want to cuddle a land shark who just swallowed a bystander whole? The Suicide Squad does that and more while providing a showcase for sure things like Margot Robbie’s irresistible Harley Quinn, as well as the dregs and rejects of DC Comics who ultimately steal the movie: David Dastmalchian’s Polka-Dot Man and Daniela Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, namely. Box office be damned, this is one of the best superhero films ever made and will be a classic in the years to come.

2. The Green Knight

When you hear the name “King Arthur,” certain elements spring to mind. It’s one of those classic properties which have been adapted, exploited, and parodied with killer rabbits ad nauseam. Even so, it’s safe to say you’ve never seen the lore become as foreboding and startling as this. Reimagined through the gaze of writer-director David Lowery, the 14th century poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight at last takes on a trippy and witchy connotation. An interpretation that pulls as much from medieval paganism as it does obsessions with chivalry and Christian virtue, The Green Knight successfully reinvents its Arthurian quest into a journey toward certain doom.

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As the central figure on that mission, Dev Patel reveals superstar charisma and the ability to completely command the screen. His version of Gawain, the wayward nephew of King Arthur (Sean Harris), is vain, cowardly, selfish, and somehow wholly sympathetic as he searches for Ralph Ineson’s Green Knight: a godlike creature who has promised to behead Gawain when they meet again. Through it all, Lowery and company craft a sumptuous world that in every shot looks like the most transportive Dungeons and Dragons cover you’ve ever seen. The atmosphere is oppressively brooding, and it will not appeal to everyone. Yet like the very best films released by indie distributor A24, there is a touch of mad genius at work here that demands to be seen and then seen again.

1. Inside

As arguably the best piece of art to come out of 2020’s torments, Bo Burnham’s Inside was not marketed or even conceived of as a film. Nevertheless, it slowly transformed into one throughout its months-long production process, which forewent mere sketch humor to reveal an undeniably cinematic, experimental, and ultimately bleak heart. In other words, it’s a perfect distillation of how all mediums are blurring into that loathsome word: content.

Through heavily edited, conceived, and revised set-pieces, the film’s director, star, writer, and composer lays his insecurities and vanities bare. Filmed inside Burnham’s home studio space, Inside is the result of the young filmmaker behind Eighth Grade becoming acutely aware he’s regressed to his early resources as a teenage YouTube star: a camera, a music keyboard, some synth programs, and hours of idle boredom.

Within those numbing hours, Burnham built something both reflective and suspicious about technology, the internet culture which gave him his career, and even his own self-image. With a catchy songbook of synthesized bangers, many of which echo ’80s pop ballads, Burnham crystallizes better than any typical three-act film the anxieties and delirium of a year spent mostly at home. He also provides a scathing critique of how our concepts of communication and identity have been co-opted and undermined by tech companies whose products incite division for profit—all while still releasing his film on the biggest streaming platform in the world. It’s a challenging, self-loathing, and haunted piece of work that will invariably become a time capsule for its moment in history.

Runner ups that almost made the cut: Annette, Black Widow, Coda, Mr. Soul, No Sudden Move, Raya and the Last Dragon, Rita Moreno: Just a Girl Who Decided to Go For It, The Sparks Brothers, Val.

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