#and like jesus. 2022 sure was a year for me huh.

[bibridlizzie]

Hizzie (nonbinary Hope x girlflux Lizzie)

[terramythos]

TAYLOR READS 2022: BE THE SERPENT BY SEANAN MCGUIRE

Title: Be The Serpent (October Daye #16)

Author: Seanan McGuire

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, First-Person, Female Protagonist

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 09/23/2022

Date Finished: 10/25/2022

Things are going great for October “Toby” Daye; she’s just gotten married to the love of her life, and the future looks positive. But her entire world changes when Jessica Brown, daughter of her best friend Stacy, is brutally murdered. As Toby puts the pieces together, she is betrayed by someone she thought she could trust— and an ancient enemy returns to terrorize Faerie.

“Hello, October,” she said, and her voice was hers and not hers at the same time, the echoing, terrible voice of a goddess, and oh, I was so completely screwed.

For live reading notes, check the reblogs (warning for heavy spoilers).

Content warnings and review (spoiler-free and spoiler versions) under the cut.

Content Warnings: Depicted — Eye trauma/gore (it’s the chapter header art), death, filicide, child death, violence, gore, mind control, drug use (kinda), drug addiction, warfare (kinda), kidnapping. Mentioned — Torture, child abuse, genocide, human sacrifice, domestic abuse.

**SPOILER FREE REVIEW**

Oh, October Daye, a series near and dear to my heart. Obviously it has some appeal for me, considering I’ve made it to book 16. It’s a Faerie-based urban fantasy series (though less urban in recent years) with memorable twists, great character development, and a concerted effort toward broad LGBT representation. That being said, it is hard for me to wholeheartedly recommend this series to others; it’s long, and while some entries are incredible, others… aren’t. The previous book, When Sorrows Come, is the worst in the series due to egregious filler and bizarre editorial issues. By contrast, Be The Serpent is fantastic, featuring a satisfying, emotional payoff built up from the very first book.

October Daye focuses heavily on the long game. While I’m sure some characters and plots are invented whole-cloth, it’s clear many story beats and developments have been planned from inception. A core component of the series revolves around hidden identities. Almost every major character (and there are a lot of them) is either secretly someone else or has something to hide. In a series full of crazy setups and payoffs, Be The Serpent contains the most shocking one yet; no small feat. According to the opening acknowledgments, this was planned a good fifteen books ago. From most authors, I’d be skeptical of such a claim, but I completely believe it here; so many weird details suddenly make sense.

If you’re not familiar with October Daye but have some interest in the series, I recommend reading to at least An Artificial Night (#3, the first major turning point) and seeing if you wish to continue from there. As I said, the series is a little hit or miss, but the hits are fantastic. My personal favorite entries are An Artificial Night (#3), The Winter Long (#8), The Brightest Fell (#11), and now this bombshell, Be The Serpent (#16).

**SPOILER REVIEW**

Jesus fucking Christ, STACY was Titania? Quite literally the last character I’d ever expect. But by God does it explain the weird shit going on with her bloodline and children. It looks like a lot of people suspected this, but I genuinely had no idea. I didn’t expect the casual “Stacy’s kids are kind of weird, huh” detail to explode in such a gut-wrenching way. Yeah, when the pre-release blurb mentioned the betrayal of a long-time ally, my sister and I immediately thought of the two most suspicious characters (Marcia and Stacy) but my brain never made the Titania connection. So like… half-guessed the twist, I guess? Even if Stacy was our second choice?

Anyway, this entry is highly reminiscent of The Winter Long, which is nothing but a compliment. I’ll have to ruminate on whether this beats that book and/or The Brightest Fell in terms of personal enjoyment. I had many complaints about When Sorrows Come and distinctly remember saying the series NEEDS a Winter Long-type shakeup. Well god damn did Be The Serpent deliver. I’m so pumped for where the series is going; I hope the days of filler plots and forgettable villains are behind us now.

Be The Serpent pulls no punches. Its inciting incident is the brutal murder of Jessica Brown, a recurring child character. There’s an overwhelming sense of unease as her mother Stacy becomes more and more suspicious. The reveal that Stacy is (unwittingly) Titania, who’s trapped in an eternal loop of cursed reincarnation and child murder, is… quite something. “Stacy” even MEANS “resurrection”, an infuriating bit of foreshadowing. Titania has been built up as a major antagonist throughout the series, and there’s a stark contrast between her and Stacy, a stalwart ally since book one. I think one thing McGuire did especially well in this novel is portray the transition between the two characters; the sense of wrongness when “Stacy” says something off-color just ramps up the tension until it explodes.

I’ve mentioned this a lot already, but this book solidifies my suspicion that Marcia is Maeve. Be The Serpent all but looks the reader in the eye to say that reveal is coming next, and that she’s someone we know. And there’s a ton of evidence both in this book and previous entries that line up with Marcia– her name, Firstborn acting strange around her, her ambiguous history and heritage, her association with water, the whole “can see through reality” line Toby drops and then refuses to elaborate on, the lack of suspicion around her, and so on. She is the only character in the huge cast that makes sense. I kinda hope the next book is the one to drop the reveal, especially after so much specific buildup for it in this entry.

Be The Serpent also ends on a cliffhanger, which I believe is a series first. Even though A Killing Frost drops the Oberon twist at the end, it still wraps up its conflict. Things are ambiguous here though. Toby has been kidnapped and brainwashed? Is she in a dream, a manufactured reality, or has Titania actually bent the world to her own whims? Is the August Toby encounters actually her half-sister, an illusion, or someone else? Is “Father” Simon and “Mother” Amandine? There’s also the unanswered question re: how Simon managed to resist Titania’s mind control toward the end of the book; he is “of her blood”, and his genetically identical twin Sylvester fell under her thrall. Until this point, Simon has been the poster child for “easily mind controlled” – by Titania’s daughter Eira no less– so I’ve got nothing on why that happened. Whatever is next, I’m looking forward to it. While recent entries have been a little hit or miss, the final chapter of Be The Serpent establishes an intriguing premise in the next book, at least.

[thetragicallynerdy]

end of year writing wrap-up - 2022

Earlier this year I started doing monthly writing goals, along with monthly writing wrap-ups. I fell off in the fall, mainly due to feeling too busy, but I really wanted to do an end of year wrap-up nonetheless! And start again, now that it's the new year - it was a good way for me to remember what I'm working on, and to feel a bit accomplished and note progress even when I felt like I hadn't made any. This list is really entirely for myself, as a record keeping type thing.

On a fun note, this year I got really caught up in OFMD, and wrote a ton for it! Some with pals, some by myself. It's been a really fun new fandom to write for! I haven't written as much for UnDeadwood, which I'm hoping to change a bit this year (but aren't pushing myself on. Where my brain goes it goes).

So, without further ado - all the fics I've worked on this year, including word counts for each (only word counts written this year, based on best estimate, unless otherwise noted):

Completed fics:

but don't you shake alone (Leverage) - Chapters 7, 8, and epilogue posted in 2022. Word count: 15,800

full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes (OFMD). Word count: 10,200

we both go down together (OFDM). Word count: 8,900

and if the pomegranates are in bloom (OFMD). Word count: 5,200

falling for you, you are in love, put your records on (OFMD, same series). Word count: 4,900

the ghost baby (UnDeadwood). Word count: 9,500 (mostly written in 2022, can't remember how much wasn't.)

on this winter's night with you (UnDeadwood). Word count: 9,600.

Works in Progress

Our Flag Means Death

flotsam and jetsam - Word count: 3,000.

i like to call myself wound - Word count: 37,000 (posted: 29, 500.)

and we will build a home from the wreckage - Word count: 17,000 (posted: 8,000.)

ask me anything SMAU (co-written) - Prose word count: 28,000 (posted: 17,000) Written by me: ~14,000

long sad Jim/Ed (co-written) - 94,500 words. Written by me: ~ 48,000.

uposted poly au (to build a home) - Word count: ~7,000

modern Jim/Ed flowershop au - Word count 38,800

sex worker Oluwande - Word count: 12, 300

other WIPs (de-aged Jim, Olu/Jim werewolf smut, hanahaki times, selkie au, etc) - Word count 6,800. UnDeadwood

every bit as feral - Word count total: 73,200. Word count this year: 21,500.

the jaws that bite - Word count total: ~ 35,000. This year: ~ 4,000.

witch clayton au - Word count total: 50,800. This year: ~ 19,000.

the nemesis - Total: 91,500. This year: 7,000 (maybe more, but that for sure).

firefly au - Word count total: 7,000. This year: ~ 3,500 (?)

Other tiny WIPs (olympics, hallowe'en, PS I love you au) - Huge guestimate, but maybe another 5,000 words.

So, to sum up

OFMD: 213,100 words

UnDeadwood: 79,100 words

Leverage: 15,800 words

Total 2022 word count: 308,000 words

Jesus fucking christ??? That's so many words?? I've felt a lot less productive writing-wise this year, but that might be because my 'published ao3' word count for this year is only around 135K - meanwhile I've written around 175K more words that haven't been published yet. Huh.

(This also goes to show that I really, really have a problem with writing sprawling works that I have difficulty actually finishing enough to publish lmao. Glad to see that hasn't changed XD)

Anyway, thanks to everyone who stuck around for the ride - hopefully a few of the massive unpublished works will go up in 2023!!

[jade-everstone]

The yearly tradition returns: 2022's Summary of Art!

And hey, I did something a little more design-y than my past ones! Will admit it was a bit tricky to fit each month's pics into the frames this time but I'm glad I tried a different look than usual 

thoughts on each pic + reflection on the web + how I want to handle art going into the new year below:

January - Iri Intro!

From a somewhat short-lived thing I wanted to try out: Doing sketches of OCs just to serve as an introduction reguardless of quality. The good thing is, because quality's not a factor I can do these whenever in whatever format or polish. I just prefered doing larger pics this year

-

Febuary - A 'Cereal' Debate (comic short)

Ok, but she's got a point when you think about it.

From a comics class I took spring this year. The only prompt was "conversation"... well, heated debate in this case.

-

March - The School Mystery (comic short)

Another one from that Comics class and goddamn I think the panel featured here alone is one of the hardest things I drew that semester. That's pen and ink with minimal digital edits and damn hoping one day I could somehow make a longer comic with a similar style bc it was really fun to ink honestly.

-

April - The Fish Project

JADE WITH THE FRESH SALMON???? REAL!

Ok but for the real context, this was an April fools project I had in the works since 2021. I turned all my active art accounts at the time into an OC Fishing irony page and sent Jade, Iri, Risa, Jpeg, and both Prisma's on a fishing trip. Not sure how I'll top that in the future... I'm not revealing until April >:)

-

May - MOONROT

May was when I redesigned & revealed Io to the public! They got a bunch of art this month, but the CN challenge art is my favorite of all of them.

Huh. Suprised I didn't immediately burn out because that semester was extreme in terms of work. I guess wanting to draw Io was that strong.

-

June - Life, After Wither

A pre-Artfight 2022 pic: I was Team Wither! I like doing splash pics for my own page for Artfight and this stayed my main banner for just about most of the year.

The mini-story I made up for this is these three teamed up across dimentions or something to visit this forest.

-

July - In the Studio, fr

I don't normally do post-Artfight related pics, but Moog ended up getting the most attacks this year and I wanted to give her an extra pic based on it.

Seems she kept a souviner from the forest in the last pic.

-

August - B-Hold! The Portal King!

For Clockday on Newgrounds, Strawberry clock the portal King himself!

Kept getting swept up with other things to jump on Newgrounds events, I wasn't gonna miss one of the bigger ones!

-

September - //  DIRECTION //

(outside of being gay for the robot-) I just wanted to draw Alia tbh. With a similar energy she had in her older art too.

-

October - HELLSPAWN

ABSOLUTELY NEFARIOUS HALLOWEEN PIC!!!

Featuring Io's true/original form + their 'powered-up' state

-

November - The Fowl Pest (Mock-Cover)

The last two are for my Digital Illustration class. This one is a mock-book cover based on a worldbuilding project of mine (still need to organize it before sharing).

Though tbh if I do want to do more art for said project I might go tra-digital or use a grittier style. During crit I was told this looked "middle-grade"... when the world is "older-YA/Adult"... still like the pic, but damn.

-

December - Lan Party!

*Sigh* Always wanted to go to one of these! But alas, me and my irls are all busy these days. This is based off a different project I'm working on.

I ended up debuting some different designs for my OCs for said project (notably; Iri, Risa, and Human!Midi) but separate pics for them will have to come next year. In terms of digital lineart, this was the most intense I did this year (traditional lineart comes easier to me than digital).

---

So... 2022. Jesus Christ

This year was rough for me on things personal, and things non-personal. I mean jesus christ every other week something came out that was hostile to artists one way or another on top of some rough patches in my life. I don't want to jinx 2023 or leave things on this note though...

I think my biggest takeaway from this year is I need to rethink a lot of things. How I want to do art, where I want to go, or even my 'digital wellbeing'. This year, I realized keeping art a Hobby or staying "part-time" (as in small gigs & private comms only) might be healthier for me in the long run. I've already had my doubts with a lot of "professional" practices when I was shooting for it (a tl:dr it felt like "no fun allowed" half the time). But realizing how horribly i've treated myself and my art with this chase? That was another thing.

I think i've done a lot of strong pics compared to past years. Especially in terms of backgrounds and not being afraid to draw them (though I could always use more practice, lol). But I've also come to terms with I've been affected by social media without realizing it and how it hurt how I do art. Basically, for the past two years I've been working under the fear of being boxed into doing one thing. Be it fanart, genres, etc. To the point I stopped doing things to force a "brand". Specifically, I stopped doing fanart unless it's oc-centric. I hid straight-up fanart, and started getting irrationally upset over the metrics fanart gets over my original works.

And I hate it. I hate how I let myself judge the value of my work over "numbers and engagement". I hate how I boxed myself in trying to avoid being boxed, because of chasing this corporate measurement of worth. And most importantly, I hate that I nearly forgot that I enjoyed making fanart, because of some dumb culture caused by social media numbers and algorithms. I'm exhausted. So for 2023, I think I want my main resolution to do better with my online life & how I treat myself and my art. I want to pull away from social media a bit more (ironic considered i just came back here heh), spend more time on the slower web & offline if possible, and break that cycle of letting numbers judge my self-worth. And maybe help others do the same. It's much easier said than done, but I don't want to do nothing about this toxic hellscape that is how art is treated online, I want to do something even if the only person I directly help is myself.

And for what it's worth, focusing on my site so far has been cathartic. It's somewhere I can set up my art, projects, weird shit, etc. on my own terms, how I like it. It's quieter over there. And I'm glad I kept working on it beyond just a "portfolio site".

But I guess I have all of 2023 (and what's left of 2022) to process that. For now, I could use some extra time to pretty-up my website some more and take a few more naps before the year ends.

---

extra note: this post is a (slightly modified) mirror of a post over on the everlogs:

Website Version Here!

[torontoarenas]

2022-23 NHL Predictions, Revisited

Five Teams I Most Overrated

Calgary. This happens to me every year. A team I pick to win their division goes and misses the playoffs instead. Vegas & NY Islanders did this to me last time. I guess I should’ve anticipated a step back since they lost Gaudreau and Tkachuk and replaced them with the store-brand version of those guys. (I hate that I said that about my beautiful boy Nazem Kadri, but c’mon. Tkachuk is one of the best players in the league! You’re not just replace him with Kadri or Huberdeau, two players who are both “great to have,” but not especially elite.

Florida. From Presidents’ Trophy to fringe playoff team? I didn’t think they’d repeat what they did last year, given how reliant they were on overtime wins and especially after they hired Paul Maurice, but I didn’t anticipate such a dramatic fall.

Nashville. Huh?! I’m scratching my head here. I don’t remember this at all. I had them third in the Central? Ahead of Dallas?? That was insanely dumb of me. My bad.

Pittsburgh. I decided to give them the ol’ Crosby/Malkin/Letang “benefit of the doubt,” but it’s time to pay the piper. They’re all still good players, but not as dominant as they once were and their team depth seems to have completely evaporated. These guys might just be cooked.

Washington. See above re: Pittsburgh, but with Ovechkin and friends, and they’re even more cooked. Couldn’t even come close to the playoffs! It would be great to see Ovi challenge for Gretzky’s goal record, but unfortunately I don’t think that’s going to happen.

“Honourable” mentions: Detroit and Ottawa. lol. lmao even. not only did these guys not take an appreciable step forward like many people (myself included) thought they would, but they got lapped by the Buffalo fuckin’ Sabres. and it’s hard to see how either of them make the playoffs next year. but I’ve been wrong before, clearly, as everything I’ve written above and below attests, so I shouldn’t be too confident here. but for now, I can laugh a little. Steve Yzerman is perhaps the most overrated GM in all of hockey. as for the Sens: “hot Pierre summer,” my ass!

Five Teams I Most Underrated

Boston. Who the hell saw this coming? They started the year with Marchand and McAvoy hurt, and not only won the Presidents’ Trophy but broke the record for most wins in a season? I was pretty sure they’d at least make the playoffs, but jesus christ. We’ll never be rid of these guys.

New Jersey. I figured they were on the cusp of something great, but not quite there yet. Instead, they broke through to the top of the league almost instantly. That there Jack Hughes fella’s pretty good, hey?

Seattle. After overrating them last year, I thought, “boy, this team with solid depth but no true superstars isn’t going to trick me again! I’ve got you figured out now!” Well, apparently not!

Winnipeg. The difference between Connor Hellebuyck being “world-class” and merely “pretty good” is the difference between the Jets barely limping into the playoffs and missing altogether. Their late season play wasn’t exactly awe-inspiring, but I still should’ve picked them to finish ahead of St. Louis at least!

Buffalo. Isn’t that nice? They’re almost a playoff team now! I’ll be cheering for them to get in next year. Maybe with a full season of Devon Levi as the starter will do it!

Honourable mention: NY Islanders. I didn’t underrate them so much as I overrated Washington and Pittsburgh. This team isn’t that good. They’ve got one of the best goalies in the league, but the rest of the roster just screams “average.” Still, though, gotta give them props for making the playoffs when I didn’t think they would, and the Sorokin factor means they could be a real handful for the Hurricanes in the first round.

Preliminary Impression of My Predicted Cup Finalists

Carolina vs. Colorado? Hey, it could happen! I no longer think it will, especially not with Andrei Svechnikov out for this year’s playoffs, but I didn’t make myself look like a complete fool with that pick. I’ll take it.

Awards

Hart and Art Ross: Connor McDavid? Folks, he’s done it again. As always, this was the chalk pick, so I can’t claim any credit for thinking Connor McDavid would be good.

Norris: Cale Makar? Though he missed a bunch of time due to injury, this was a reasonable pick otherwise. But again, reigning champion, chalk pick, &c.

Rocket Richard: Auston Matthews? He was playing hurt for most of the year and went on a weird shooting slump in the middle of the season, so he couldn’t even get close this time around. Don’t care. I’ll pick him again next year. He’s gonna absolutely blow the doors off with his expiring contract, and you can take that to the damn bank.

Vezina: Jacob Markstrom? Woof! My rationale was that Calgary would win the Pacific, which meant that as their starter, Markstrom would pick up more wins than any other goalie in the league. The GMs who vote on this shit love “goaltender wins,” one of the dumbest stats in all of sports. But I can rationalize all day. This one’s on me for thinking that Calgary would still be good.

Selke: Joel Eriksson Ek? Went with a classic “Fancy Stats” guy that the eye test folks seem to respect as well. His xGA numbers are still pretty good among forwards, but I overthought this one. I absolutely should have picked Patrice Bergeron for the Patrice Bergeron Award.

Calder: Owen Power? If I had to guess, it’s gonna be him or Matty Beniers, though probably the latter. But I never have to guess. I just do this for fun (?)

[yokefellows]

What Love Is: Choosing To Love All Year Long

Today’s Saying

Love sets a time to get back in touch. Love follows up, follows through.

Today’s Scripture

“Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NASB1995)

Today’s Sermonette

Many of us are suckers for New Year’s resolutions. And every year, you pick your resolutions in threes.

Two have hung around for a long time.

You pledge to eat nutritiously and exercise intentionally, more than just taking the garbage to the end of the driveway once a week.

For your third resolution, though, you go deeper — beyond working on your outside — and choose something to transform your inside.

Yet reflecting on years gone by, frankly, all other years, you realize you have missed so much. It’s like life is a movie, and you’re just a prop in the corner, an extra at best, mostly hanging in the back lot.

You don’t take enough time for people. Instead, you’re just playing a scripted role with lines that rarely change.

“Hi, how are you?”

“Fine. And you?”

“Fine.”

“Have a good day.”

Why are you asking a question if you don’t want to hear the answer? Maybe it’s because the answer might take too much of your very valuable and extremely limited time.

There are things to be done, after all. Emails to return, laundry to wash, errands to run, bills to pay, and if you don’t hit the grocery store on your way home from work, you won’t be eating leafy vegetables for dinner.

But God. God is love, and God tells us to love one another. In fact, God commands us through Paul in 1 Corinthians 16:14 to “Let all that you do be done in love.” That’s why my big resolution challenge for 2022 is to love — really love.

But how are you loving when you value your personal agenda above people? Surely it’s not love to ignore the person in front of you while thinking of everything ahead of you.

When a friend calls, you are not showing love by saying “uh-huh” as you watch the last few minutes of your favorite TV show. Does love take so little interest?

Real love, the way God loves, cares more about people than tasks … no matter the size of Mount Laundry. Relationships — loving and caring for people — eclipse TV and to-dos all day long.

You’ve overlooked opportunities to connect, to give love, to live love. I’m sure there have been many times when you asked the “how are you?” question, and the person who you’re supposed to love wanted or needed you to hear the answer.

Maybe they received a tough diagnosis, or they lost their job, or they were going through a hard time in their marriage and needed someone to care and pray, but your face said, Gotta run. No time for you.

What would love do? Love would stick around. Love would want to hear the answer. Then love would really listen.

Undistracted, giving full attention, right there, at that moment — loving the person like God does, not seeing them as an obstacle to our plans.

Without thinking about the turmoil of this morning’s carpool or the meeting later tonight — just patiently listening. Fully engaged, no distractions, really hearing, caring, putting feet on love.

Sure, there are deadlines and moments when there really is no time, at least not right then. But later, love sets a time to get back in touch. Love follows up, follows through.

This New Year, let’s choose to love. To listen intently. To live love and show love to the ones we’re with.

Let’s ask “how are you?” with our hearts and ears wide open. Because that is what love would do, and I resolve to love. Will you join me?

Today’s Supplication

Father, open my eyes, heart and ears to live and give love. Please don’t let another opportunity to love pass me by. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[starrrlights]

Enchanted

Movie : descendants

Pairing : Carlos x gn reader

Warning : kissing, confession, maybe a swear word or two,

Summary : you and Carlos have a movie night and some things got a little off topic

This is a modern au/takes place in 2022/idk

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

You are Carlos's best friend since he and the others came to your school, Auradon high. He was in most of your classes and were paired in many projects. So, you guys had really gotten really close cuz of that.

It had been 2 years since you two had met. And you had planned on a fun movie night with him on the night when spring break began since you two didn't have any plans.

"hey, Carlos? You want to watch ' sonic the hedgehog/2'? Or enchanted?' you say, looking at all the movies you had.

Carlos looks at you with a smile and stood up, walking over to you. He squat down and looked at the movie choice's.

"how about..... Enchanted?" He asked, tilting his head and looking at you. You looked at him and smiled. "enchanted it is! And then sonic?" You ask, laying the two movies down on the ground.

"sure". He smiles, standing up from his squatted position and stuck out his hand to help you up.

you smile back , pulling yourself up with his hand.

"I'll go make popcorn and bring over some soda's before you put in the movie" Carlos comments, walking over to the kitchen in your apartment.

"ill help"! You say putting the remote for the t.v down and start walking over to Carlos.

You go over to your small snack stash and grab out popcorn, m&m's , Reese's, Hershey bars, any thing you could find that is delicious. (Or any snack that you prefer) You pick up a 6-pack or (preferred soda or something) and start heading over to the couch where Carlos is almost finishing up setting your blankets and pillows everywhere to make it comfy.

You set everything down on you coffee table and press play for the movie to start. You skip and the "movie commercials" and finally, the movie 'Enchanted' began.

You and Carlos both sang the song together as Giselle and prince Edward. Even if you're voice sounded like a rat #me you were madly blushing when it was Carlos's turn. 'Jesus Christ, can't these feelings go away. Just for tonight?!' you though, facing Carlos, you waited untill it was your turn again. You were about to sing when you met eye contact with Carlos. 'crap'. (And you both blushed and continued singing)

You both laughed as you tried to sing this song with your cat, but they got away before you even reached them a foot away.

(idk what to put here, you two laughed/cringed/ idk) (i haven't watched the movie in a while)

You and Carlos were watching that ⬆️ part of the movie when Carlos looked at you from the corner of his eye.

" There is no better whey to confess to a girl then a dancing with her" he thought. He scoots up to the edge of the couch and looked at you before standing up. You look at him confused untill he reached out his hand. " Can I have this dance?" He asks smiling. "Yea". You nod, a bit flustered. He pulls u up and moves the coffee table carefully. Then standing right in front of you, he grabs your hand and you put you free one on his shoulder as he puts his a little above your waist. You slightly stiffen at the touch but relax as Carlos raises one eyebrow as a subtle ' is this ok?'. You nod and you hear the the music in the movie play. You quickly turn it up and start dancing with Carlos around your living room.

………

The song is almost over and you and Carlos are to far in a faze to the point where you can't hear the music. You snap out of it when you hear Carlos calling your name. "Huh? Oh, yea Carlos?" You ask, putting your full attention on him.

"I have to ask you a question and it may seem really dumb, and I-..... I like you and I was hoping that if it would be ok if you could go with me to the amusement park that's open next Saturday?" You look at him stunned. 'He likes me back?! That impossible!'

Carlos was waiting on you to answer, but you were to stunned to speak. "I mean, it's ok if you don't like me back, I'm not forcing you or anything and-"

You cut him off by kissing him. " I would love to go the the amusement park with you, Carlos. You smiled and grabbed both his hands kissing him again. Ending it, He smiled and laughs, while hugging you.

(you two soon sit down to finish the movie. You got tired and fell asleep since it was like 1 in the morning and you haven't slept in days. He pulls up a blanket over you but nudges you awake. "Hmmm?" You open you're eyes a little to see a nervous carlos. " Is it ok if we……... cuddle?" He asks, looking at you.

That sounded cringe but ok

"yea" you say tiredly, climbing next to Carlos and wrapping your arms around his waist. He turns down the TV and slowly does the same to you. (Both of you fall asleep, while 'Ever Ever After ' starts playing in the background

Have a good day or night 💙 bye

Cameron Boyce, you will ALWAYS be remembered❤️😊 rest in peace

(I'm sorry, but he died on my mom's birthday 💀)

[gracefulsunflower]

CONTRARY - FINN SHELBY X READER; PART 45

PUBLISHED: 22/07/2022

THIRD PERSON'S POV

Thomas Shelby and his elder brother Arthur strolled into the Garrison, which was empty. It wasn't opening time, yet. The morning sun was shining through the stained glass windows. Glass crunched under their feet as they walked, and surveyed their surroundings. It was like a whirlwind made it's way through there. Or a really bad bar fight. Arthur just hoped his kid brother wasn't involved in it.

Tommy made himself comfortable on a stool, which woke up the girl laying in a booth. Mary Bone looked over at the source of the noise, and gasped.

"Go home," Tommy commanded, making her grab her dress and cover herself with it for decency as she slipped her shoes on.

"Come here, you," Arthur demanded, walking over to a chair and grabbing the coat off of the back of it, "Put this on."

He held the coat out to her, and she grabbed it thankfully, slipping it over her petite frame.

"There you go. Look at that. Looks great on ya! Wrap up warm." Arthur said as she left the pub, hurrying out along the street.

Tommy looked at his peacefully asleep younger brother, clearly not pleased with the company he kept. He wondered if Finn's wife even knew he was friends with the girl in the brown coat. He was sure she only had a baby recently, too. It wouldn't hurt her to stay home with it.

Arthur grabbed a glass of water, putting ice from another glass into it, then hopped up onto the chair of the booth next to the one Finn was laid in, and poured the cold water and ice onto his brother, making Finn yelp and fly up, panting in surprise.

"Wake up," Arthur said by way of greeting, ignoring the way his brother looked at him as he hopped down, "Rise and shine."

Finn sighed and moved himself so he was sitting properly on the edge of the seat, "What are you doing here?"

"Wasting our fucking time on you," Tommy replied, ever the one for no nonsense.

Finn groaned as he rubbed his temples, trying to chase away a headache. Arthur handed his younger brother a glass of water, which he went to take a sip from as he stood up.

"Sit down, Finn," Tommy ordered his younger brother, "Sit down."

Finn sat back down, then Tommy stood up and stepped over to his brother.

"What do I have to do," He began, eyes trained on his curly haired brother, "To make you fucking listen to me?"

Arthur settled into the booth across from Finn.

"You took a bullet. You've been running around the streets with a fucking gun in your hand." Tommy added, one hand on the back of the booth behind Finn and the other on his hip so he didn't strangle his brother for his idiocy.

"Somebody has to." Finn defended himself, looking Tommy square in the eye.

Arthur fought back the urge to chuckle. Finn had definitely toughened up after he met you. He wouldn't have been able to look Tommy in the eye four years ago.

Tommy and Finn looked over at their older brother, who didn't hesitate with his reply.

"Finn, we've got people for that kind of work. Soldiers. Captains and corporals," Arthur explained, waving a hand around, making Finn clench his jaw as he looked at the window.

"Well then, what am I?" Finn questioned, looking back at his older brother, trying not to let the older two catch on to how badly he was craving for an answer to that question.

"'What am I?' Jesus Christ," Tommy said as he stood up straight, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, what am I, Tom? Huh?" Finn pushed his older brother, making Tommy look down at his younger brother, "I'm the brother you never got around to."

Finn put his glass of water onto the table, already done with the conversation and itching to be back home with you and the kids.

"You're a general, Finn." Tommy explained, his patience running out, "You understand? You're a fucking Shelby, so you're a general. When did you last see a general anywhere near the blood and the puke, eh?"

Finn nodded, taking in his brother's words.

"He's fucking right. That's what you are." Arthur added, moving out of the booth and going to stand next to Tommy, "So, on your feet, soldier. Come on, on your feet!"

Finn looked away from the pair in frustration.

"I thought you just said I was a general," Finn stated, looking at the pair, fighting a smirk.

He was right. He was the brother they never got around to. They loved him, he had no doubt about that, but he wasn't sure they liked him. Especially because they never knew what to do with him.

"I did just say you were," Arthur confirmed, then moved and grabbed Finn by the front of his singlet, "So, get on your fucking feet-"

"-Arthur." Tommy interjected, pushing his older brother back, "Finn. Finn. Look at this."

Once Finn looked at what his older brother was holding, Tommy continued.

"This is the bullet that Aberama Gold cut from you. First and last." Tommy declared, then flicked it up, Finn catching it.

"First and last," Tommy repeated, pointing at him, then walked away from his brother, going to the bar to get himself a drink.

Finn sighed as he stood up, hand clasped around the bullet. He brought it up to his chest, showing it to Arthur.

"Don't lose it," He instructed, and Finn nodded, tightening his grip on it.

Arthur clapped his brother on the shoulder, "Go and clean up. Put some clothes on. Nice suit."

Finn started walking off, glad that he kept spare clothes at the pub. You'd never know when you'd spill something on yourself.

"I've got some trouble that'll keep you out of trouble," Arthur called out after his brother, watching him as he swaggered off.

Finn quickly got dressed and walked back out to his brother, still tying his tie. He rarely tied his own tie nowadays, you did it before he left for work.

"Arthur, I'm gonna put that bullet on a necklace and wear it as a reminder." Finn announced as he walked over to him, then clapped his older brother on the shoulder, "Arthur?"

"I hear ya," Arthur confirmed, but he still looked out of it.

"You got trouble for me, then?" Finn asked in reply, leaning down so he was more eye level with his brother.

"Yeah," Arthur replied, sounding far away.

"Yeah?" Finn replied, then swatted his brother on the chest and walked to the door, ready to see what trouble was in store for him.

•••

You sat in your dad's vardo, feeling slightly worried. You had just woken up from a black cat dream. You looked down at the floor. Bonnie and Saoirse were still playing cards. You looked up at the clock. You had napped for a mere thirty minutes. Your father and Ezzie has probably started your dinner now.

Outside, around the fire, Aberama stoked it with a stick, kicking a log to see if it was burnt through yet. He heard his horse whinny, then a twig snap. He looked around, feeling slightly on edge. No one was supposed to know where he was camped, having to lay low after the last job he did.

"What is it, Da?" Ezzie asked softly, watching him as he looked over at the group of shrubs behind him, getting a funny feeling from them.

He ignored her, instead spinning around in his chair and getting up, standing to look at them properly. He took a few slow steps forward, then stopped, waiting to see if something would happen, although he wasn't sure of what he was waiting for.

The area around him went quiet, bar the sound of the fire. A gunshot ripped through the air, the bullet finding a home in Aberama's shoulder with enough force that it knocked him to the ground. The birds surrounding the area flew away, screeching and cawing as they did so.

"Dad!" Ezzie yelled, quickly going and kneeling on the ground next to her groaning father.

Bonnie heard the noise, and grabbed the rifle next to him.

"Stay here, stay hidden, stay quiet," He ordered you and Saoirse quickly, then rushed out of the vardo, leaving the door cracked open behind him.

You grabbed your handgun and crept over to the door, standing behind it and looking out of the window. It was stained a dark brown, so you were confident that whoever was out there wouldn't be able to see you. Saoirse hid under the bed at your orders, the skirt of the blanket hiding her.

You watched as Bonnie aimed the rifle at the group of men with shaky hands, knowing full well that he was outnumbered.

"Drop the pea shooter, son," One of the men commanded, and Bonnie slowly lowered it, then placed it on the ground as two men dragged a cross past him.

"A broken broom stops all Gypsy curses, Mr Gold." The one who seemed to be the leader said, then broke a broom over Aberama's shoulder, making him howl in pain.

Ezzie looked over at the men, her blue eyes wide with fear, then back down at her father, softly reassuring him that he would be fine. Bonnie looked at the pair worriedly, and prayed that the men wouldn't go into his Dad's vardo. One man went and put his foot on his father's neck, keeping him down, and one of the men holding a gun put it down and walked over to Ezzie, pulling her backwards by the hair and making her stand up, holding her. She thrashed in his grip, and one of the men holding a gun placed his on the ground, going and holding her back. Bonnie knew he wouldn't be able to pick his rifle up and shoot them all. He'd get killed first.

"Who the fuck are you?" Bonnie questioned after looking back at the group, his voice wobbling.

"Did you not hear my song?" The man asked, but didn't wait for an answer, "These gentlemen are the Billy Boys."

He then walked up to Bonnie, "And me?"

He then picked up the rifle Bonnie put down, "I'm Jimmy."

He hit Bonnie across the face with the butt of it, making you gasp softly.

"No! Fuck." Your father said, struggling under the man's foot to try and stand up.

"Good. Mouth broke so you can't talk." Jimmy said, watching as Bonnie looked back at him, the lower half of his face covered in blood, "But you don't need to. Your body will be the lesson."

Your eyes widened at that statement, and you gripped your gun tighter, ready to shoot if you needed.

"You work in a particular capacity for Mr Thomas Shelby OBE, am I right?" Jimmy continued, watching as Bonnie spit up blood and sniffled, staying silent.

"I heard you're a fighter," Jimmy stated, stepping closer to Bonnie, who pulled himself up to a kneel, "The best."

"But your fighting days are over." He finished, hitting him square in the face with the butt of the gun, making Ezzie scream for her younger brother and Aberama thrash under the man's shoe.

You grit yourself teeth so you didn't make a sound, and fought the urge to go comfort Saoirse, who you could hear sniffling from under the bed. She soon crawled over to you, standing up on the tips of her toes and looking out of the window.

Bonnie attempted to crawl away, Jimmy stalking behind him. You watched as the last man holding a gun slung it over his shoulder, and walked up behind Jimmy.

"Because I need Mr Shelby to understand," Jimmy stopped momentarily to kick Bonnie, "That his best,"

He pushed Bonnie back into a tree, "Is not ... good enough."

He threw off his cap, and head butted Bonnie fair in the nose, dazing him. He then let your brother go, watching as he stumbled to the ground. The other Billy Boys quickly picked Bonnie up, dragging him over to the cross that they had dragged with them. They strapped him onto it, and he was too dazed to fight back. You watched as they stood the cross up, and waited for the right moment to take a shot. You might get yourself killed while doing it, but at least it would give everyone else a chance.

Jimmy picked up his cap and put it on, then approached Bonnie on the cross. Ezzie thrashed hard enough that she freed herself from the grip of the men holding her, and scrambled over to her brother, only to get a bullet to the stomach from Jimmy's pistol, stopping her in her tracks. She flopped to the ground, holding a hand to her torso.

"Sersh, when I shoot this gun, I want you to run and grab one of the guns over there, but only use it if you have to," You whispered to your younger sister, knowing damn well she knew how to use one.

Your father wouldn't have any of his kids around the lifestyle he lived without them knowing how to wield guns and knives.

Jimmy turned back around, and put his pistol to Bonnie's chin.

"Farewell, fighter boy. You died well." He announced, and a gunshot sounded throughout the camp.

Jimmy screamed in pain, his pistol hitting the forest floor, blood spurting from his shoulder, and Saoirse ran, grabbing one of the guns. You one man fair in the forehead, and Saoirse plowed down two of them as you made your way over to her, grabbing the gun next to her. You shot both of the men next to Jimmy, but Jimmy wasted no time running off. You didn't care. He didn't have his gun with him.

"Saoirse, grab Flicker and ride him to the phone box, call someone!" You commanded your younger sister, making your way over to Ezzie, "Isiah, Finn, Tommy, fuck, even Curly, but call someone!"

Saoirse nodded, eyes wide and hands shaky, putting down the gun and stumbling over to your Father's horse, mounting him and speeding off. The phone box was only a short ride away, but you had a feeling it would take forever.

You put pressure on your sister's wound, listening to her breathe heavily. She was bleeding more than you thought she was. She'd be fine, though. Saoirse would call for help and help would come and Ezzie would be safe.

"It's just a little bit of blood, only more than a scratch," You reassured your older sister, your eyes filling with tears as you took in the scene around you, your brother hanging limply on the cross and your father sobbing on the ground, wondering where he went wrong, "Saoirse's probably calling for help and we'll get you to a hospital, and you and Bonnie and Dad will be fine, we can have tea at my house-"

"-Don't give me false hope," Your sister murmured, her eyes halfway closed as she made the effort to reach up and put a hand on your face.

You leaned into her touch, tears now rolling down your face.

"Oh, Ezzie — It's not meant for you," You whimpered, a sob wracking your body as you took off your coat with one hand, then pressed the fabric to her midriff, "I want my big sister to be okay. Bee needs her Turtle."

The world around you was blurry as you focused on talking to your sister as you helped an unconscious Bonnie down from the cross, rambling about how you'd make pancakes and make your own jam to put on it from wild berries, just like you did when you were younger, your father sobbing in the background. You just prayed Saoirse made it to the phone box okay.

§§§

A bit of an open ending because I'm still not sure if I want to kill anyone lol — I'm gonna be real with you all, in the early plots of this chapter, all of the Gold children bar (Y/N) died, then only Saoirse and Bonnie, then Esmeralda and Bonnie, then none of them, and now I'm still not sure lol.

Love y'all ❤️

- Sunflower x

TAGLIST

@meadownicolee

@toothlessmcleod

@im-your-possession

@bethabear12

@paisley-37

@shelundeadxxxx

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@cucumberfingefsandwiches

@jamieolivia27

[queenofwerewolves]

Future Hope

chapter one - Where it all began.

We all thought the new decade would be a new fresh start, a new beginning for humanity, we were all so excited for the the arrival of 2020... and it's unknown horrors that we awaited along with it.

it started with just jokes and memes, the virus wasnt affecting us, it didnt seem like a big deal. Then it reached Italy, then the United States. In a span of three months, the entire world changed and was affected by COVID-19. Then it happened.. the attack and sudden uprising of those who had privilege, but didnt know of it's power..

it started with the Black Lives Matter Protests, but it got worst, so unhumaningly worse. People around the country and the world tried to help and stop this evil, but it wasnt enough to stop them. The White Suprimacy.

Death, despair, anguish, loss for hope... What has the world come to?

Even after two years of the incident, in the year of 2022, the same horrors from before was still going on. No one could stop them, those who tried were imprisioned or now buried six feet under, people gave up, they lost hope... Until a new reason for that hope arrived.

It started as a friendship group. Eight people of different kinds, intetrests and hobbies brought together by a common interest, which soon grew into an unbreakable bond, sharing pictures or tagging one another with a funny meme attached to it, simple acts but filled with love.. Until this group almost lost a member.

A fight was happening while she was visiting a store, it was between a simple teen wearing a pride shirt and a middle aged man, bickering and arguing issued, but no one expected the man to pull out a gun and attempt to shoot the kid... Only to miss, and shoot the beloved group friend...

She was texting her friends while it happened, only for them to not hear anything for weeks... But she finally replied, after weeks in the hospital, recovering from the shot. One of the members couldnt have it anymore, and kindly asked for everyone to create a Discord account so they could all see how their wounded friend was doing. Everyone agreed, and surprised her with a call.

Maria was her name, and she couldnt be more delighted about the surprise..

"Yo! Yooo Bitch can you see us?!" Shouted one friend from their call

"For fuck's sake Spike the woman was shot and you have to call her a bitch?!" Rudely replied another friend, who's background was dark and gloomy and had far too many halloween decorations.

Maria laughed softly. "It's OK Spooks.. Wow.. I cant believe Im seeing you all.. Just wished it wasnt at the hospital through a videochat..." She said with a soft smile.

"It is truly a concerning situation we've been dragged into.. but it brings me joy to see you alive and well Maria" Said another friend, looking a little too-well dressed in the call

"Im guessing Griff begged you all to make a Discord huh..?" Maria said, looking at the video box of young man with a concerned yet and embarrassed look.

"Queen... We were so worried..." He answered, slightly choked up. "We thought you were a goner.. When you finally texted back I..I just had to see you..!"

Queen. A nickname she never thought someone would ever call her, hell it was a title that she didnt even deserve. Until she met Griff, which started to call her that, and her other friends jumped along, she always loved that nickname.. Made her feel special...

"Seeing you all together... All for me... It makes me want to cry.. But we dont have time for me getting emocional" Maria answered, suddenly stern

"Why is that Queen? Something going on?" Answered another friend, who was sucking on a lollipop during the call, such the sweet tooth she is.

Maria smiled. "No Muffin.. I simply have a proposal for you all.. And I hope you all are in with me...Because Im getting pretty sick of the way things are in this shit world.."

And so was born a new hope, a group of fighters that are indignified about the way things are, and how they almost took their friend away.

After healing completly at the hospital, they all met in person for the first time. Maria told them that they way they are now wont be enough to make a change to the world, but she knew how to fix that. After a small walk through the woods in the park, they came through a gated area, which Maria crawled under a broken spot of the gate and the others followed, doing the same.

"Long ago" Maria started speaking. "After I moved here, I decided to explore around this park for fun. That's when I found this abandoned gate and went through the same broken piece of wall of the gate we all came through, I believe that's here can help us become better then we already are."

Spike, chewing a piece of gum sneered at her comment. "Oh sure, what is it? A wishing well?"

"Well..." She answered as they came to a stop.

In front of them was a perfectly clean, almost sparkling fountain with clean crystal water still working and flowing out of an angel's vase. The fountain was too bright and shiny, it sure as hell didnt match the rest of the area's gloomy and dark visuals..

"It's a wishing fountain!" Maria spouted out, smiling wide. But the rest werent as.. cheery as she was.

"A fucking... wishing fountain?" Spike answered. "You expect me to believe that's a real wishing fountain? If that's true then why dont you wish for this shit world to become better?"

"I tried!" Maria answered "Apperently it doesnt make big wishes like that, it only makes wishes about yourself or something very small. Like wishing your room to be clean kind of small"

"I mean.. It kinda has that magic aesthetic, I mean, that thing is impeccably clean while the rest is covered in dirt?" Kip answered, glancing at the fountain.

"I know it sounds silly but it really works, I actually did my wish already!" Maria said smiling wide

"Bullshit" Spike answered "You aint a fucking Werewolf, what makes you think we believe you actually wished to be one?"

".. Cause I didnt wished to be a Werewolf..?" Maria answered, dumbfounded. "I always said that I LIKE Werewolves, but I never wanted to be one. I wished to be good at using a scythe and knife throwing, like exceptionally good ya know?" She said excitedly. "And before you answer, YES I do have a scythe, I bought one. Dont ask where."

"So... who goes first?" The smollest of the group, Rook, asked.

"I'll go" Said Griff, pulling out a coin before Maria stopped in this tracks. "This.. Doesnt accept coins" Maria said, seeming a bit worried.

"Then what?" Griff answered back, only to shocked when Maria answered "Blood".

Before Spike could throw a fit, Maria cut him. "Just a drop! Literally! I got a needle here with me, all you gotta do is prick your hand and let the drip fall after you make a wish."

"Let's just get on with it before Spike goes crazy again" Said Blink, the tallest of the group and the one to deal with Spike's bullcrap

Griff took Maria's needle and stood in front of the fountain...And said outloud his wish..

At first he whispered his wish, as if he didnt want anyone to hear it.

"Uh.. It has to be out loud or it wont work Griff." Maria said.

"I-I said.. I wish to be a strong, masculine and really beefy Wererabbit that's really manly and buffed up!!" he shouted with a tone of embarrassment in his voice.

"A Werebunny.. Griffy?" Said Maria in disbelief. "What?! It's co- ow!!" Without looking, he pricked his hand with the needle, and let the drop of blood fall into the fountain's water, mixing along with it. The fountain suddenly shined so brightly that everyone had to cover their eyes for a brief moment before it died out.

Then.. Silence.

"... So.. Now wh-AHCK!!!" Shouted Griff, hit with a sudden shot of pain throughout his body, which made him fall on his knees as everyone backed away from him. They watched in horror as not only he grew almost three times his size, but he got much fuzzier, his ears stretched into rabbit ears, his muscles swelled and bubbled as they grew bigger, his body shifted painfully into a hybrid between man and rabbit. When he finally finished, he just collapsed on the floor, panting exaustedly.

His friends were inicially shocked, until Maria snapped out of it and rushed to his side, placing a hand on his head. "Griffy? You OK..?"

He answered, in a much gruffer, deeper voice.. "Yeah.. Yeah Im good.."

"Jesus.. It worked.. Can you stand?" She asked. Griff nodded as he slowly got up and almost knocked his head on a tree branch from how tall he was now. Everyone was looking up at him, jaws dropped in shock and awe, until..

"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE NAKED!!!" Rook shouted as she covered her eyes, running in place "MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!!"

"We.. better finish these wishes quick and get you some pants." Maria added, Griff simply nodded as he covered himself embarrassed.

One by one they did their wishes. Becoming who they wanted to be to fufill their purpose with Maria.

Spike wished for strong arm strenght, fast stamina and an aluminum bat that never breaks, and can destroy almost anything. Blink asked for a sword, the ability to parkour and jump from building to building like some kind of vigilante. Kip asked to be part cat for the heck of it and that whatever she draws will become a reality. Muffin asked to be a fairy, to bring joy because she isnt a fighter. Togekiss asked for high I.Q, the ability to see simulations of possibilities in the future and telekenisis and teleportation. Spooks asked to be like an Underworld Goddess, with the power to summon shadows and have the darkness on her command, and finally, Rook asked to be part bird and a wizard with elemental nature, and musical spells,to honour her beloved Lammy, she also wished to have a split personality to be like her favorite character, ENA.

And so the team was ready, and soon they would make a change to the world, the revolution has begun, it was time to shine..

For a Future Hope.

[clevercatchphrase]

2019 year in review

So… The 2010’s are almost over. Huh. What a decade it’s been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now I’m a college graduate with 2 degrees who’s been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so let’s not do that! Instead, let’s just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit that’s happened to me in this year to talk about.

PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS

Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didn’t make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list ‘em off real quick, and then we’ll go through them point by point.

1)      Pay off all my student loans 2)      Finish some song comics 3)      Make art for my Redbubble account 4)      Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)      Practice ASL 6)      Sew some stuffed animals 7)      Finish some fan fictions 8)      Work on Ghost Switch 9)      AMVs 10)   Do some original writing 11)   Make illustrations for my fan fictions

Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.

GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be “Car troubles”. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakin’ OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force!  I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didn’t get my car back for three days! I don’t even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my country’s refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!

Oh-kay… number 2. Finish some song comics. I didn’t finish any. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on them. I have made tiny progress, but that’s certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. It’ll be a long-time coming as it’s pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3’s ending, we’re gonna have ya’ covered… With SONG!

3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!

Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. I… thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, so… oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I don’t want to wait a full year just to write something)

Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didn’t do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepin’ up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.

Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didn’t do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. I’ll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.

Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story I’ve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and I’ve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know that’s solely why I finished my other fic this year)

Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, it’ll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, don’t do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road I’m on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)

Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idk… the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) I’ve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, I’d have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just don’t…. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.

10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction I’ve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But it’s on paper now and I’m happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.

11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didn’t do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~

So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! That’s! Not a very good ratio… QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some I’m gonna keep from this year, some I’m gonna drop and some I’m gonna add. In short I would like to,

1)      Finish paying off that last student loan 2)      Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)      Illustrate my own fan fics 4)      Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)      Make an enamel pin 6)      Read one new book a month 7)      Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)      Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)      Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)   Boost my patreon

Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but I’ll go into detail just a bit because I’m on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesn’t wanna go to sleep just yet, but you can’t fight the progression of time either way.

Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new year’s resolution will be unlocked as well!

Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. There’s already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.

Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read about see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.

Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.

Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately it’s a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins you  might not even sell). If this happens, it’ll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. I’m currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. We’ll just have to see where this goes.

Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.

Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I don’t know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.

Number 8- I’m torn between making my game in unity or ren’py. I know jack shit about both. Ren’py is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)

Number  9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?

Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I don’t even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I can’t thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019

Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friend’s house and they let me play this weird game called “Kingdom Hearts” and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them all… except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldn’t allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said “I will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. I’m even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that “the day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4”. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, I’m not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. And…! It was the best disappointment I’ve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, however… again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I just… stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, I’ve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. It’s awful and bad.

Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that there’s a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just won’t read my discs anymore, I don’t know why) and I haven’t been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say “Man…. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 again”. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. I’ve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, I’ve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime was…. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeye’s channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I don’t care?? ALSO, this game’s sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and I’ve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, I’m so excited to get some more games in 2020. I’m proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority AREN’T Kingdom Hearts titles!), and I’m still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.

What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me “Can you feel your blood leaving your body?” Lady… You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so I’ve cancelled my next appointment with them, and don’t plan to go back until it’s absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.

I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I don’t know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasn’t... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myself “Okay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldn’t even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed me “How are you doing?” I said “I’m in pain” and they said “We can help fix that!”. I’ve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips weren’t able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldn’t push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldn’t climb anything steep, because my legs just couldn’t push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch “longer” than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparently “Stuck” which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor can’t magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. It’s all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!

Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few member’s in one of the friend’s family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.

Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.

Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.

Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing I’ve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didn’t even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, “why do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?” After critically thinking it over, I’ve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didn’t really care if I saw their content or not. I wasn’t missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. It’s done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.

And… well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!

[carolap53]

December 29, 2021

What Love Is: Choosing To Love All Year Long KIM SORRELLE

Lee en español

“Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NASB1995)

I am a sucker for New Year’s resolutions. And every year, I pick my resolutions in threes.

Two have hung around for a long time. I pledge to eat nutritiously and exercise intentionally, more than just taking the garbage to the end of the driveway once a week. For my third resolution, though, I go deeper — beyond working on my outside — and choose something to transform my inside.

Yet reflecting on 2021 and, frankly, all other years, I realize I have missed so much. It’s like life is a movie, and I’m just a prop in the corner, an extra at best, mostly hanging in the back lot. I don’t take enough time for people. Instead, I’m just playing a scripted role with lines that rarely change.

“Hi, how are you?” “Fine. And you?” “Fine.” “Have a good day.”

Why am I asking a question if I don’t want to hear the answer? Maybe it’s because the answer might take too much of my very valuable and extremely limited time. There are things to be done, after all. Emails to return, laundry to wash, errands to run, bills to pay, and if I don’t hit the grocery store on my way home from work, I won’t be eating leafy vegetables for dinner.

But God.

God is love, and God tells us to love one another. In fact, God commands us through Paul in 1 Corinthians 16:14 to “Let all that you do be done in love.” That’s why my big resolution challenge for 2022 is to love — really love.

But how am I loving when I value my personal agenda above people? Surely it’s not love to ignore the person in front of me while thinking of everything ahead of me. When a friend calls, I’m not showing love by saying “uh-huh” as I watch the last few minutes of my favorite TV show. Does love take so little interest?

Real love, the way God loves, cares more about people than tasks … no matter the size of Mount Laundry. Relationships — loving and caring for people — eclipse TV and to-dos all day long.

I’ve overlooked opportunities to connect, to give love, to live love. I’m sure there have been many times when I asked the “how are you?” question, and the person who I am supposed to love wanted or needed me to hear the answer. Maybe she received a tough diagnosis, or he lost his job, or she was going through a hard time in her marriage and needed someone to care and pray, but my face said, Gotta run. No time for you.

What would love do? Love would stick around. Love would want to hear the answer. Then love would really listen.

Undistracted, giving full attention, right there, at that moment — loving the person like God does, not seeing them as an obstacle to my plans. Without thinking about the turmoil of this morning’s carpool or the meeting later tonight — just patiently listening. Fully engaged, no distractions, really hearing, caring, putting feet on love.

Sure, there are deadlines and moments when there really is no time, at least not right then. But later, love sets a time to get back in touch. Love follows up, follows through.

In 2022, let’s choose to love. To listen intently. To live love and show love to the ones we’re with. Let’s ask “how are you?” with our hearts and ears wide open. Because that is what love would do, and I resolve to love. Will you join me?

Lord, open my eyes, heart and ears to live and give love. Please don’t let another opportunity to love pass me by. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[spnreactionblogging]

the trap

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

I'm catching up I'm so late, it's 2/7 as I'm writing this and it aired 1/16

god I'm just so happy to see jack at all

wowwwwwww this "eyes and ears on the inside, well eyes anyway" line is so fucking shitty

"I pinata'd hell" is super funny

I love rob benedict though it's hard to be mad at him

zip ties are terrifyingly effective

I have that same box of borax

I can't help but laugh at "come on, eileen"

oh boy! dean can track sam's phone. that's. hm.

cas is 100% right as he often is

SAM: You blink people out of existence but when it's time to get your hands dirty you just can't do it. You just like to watch. Wow, Chuck. That's, uh... I don't even know what to call that. EILEEN: I do. I'd call it pathetic.

meanwhile i'm like "I'd call that a fetish"

sam is handsome

who wrote this episode though I keep thinking I've missed the title card for it but then maybe not

chuck's doing the thing where people are like "I love to torture my OC's!"

oh it's rob berens I think we will be fine then with the writing

DEAN: I hope Benny's here. Hey let's split up. CAS: ??????

I do love sam like spitting in the face of god, what a hero

and yeah like sam spent 120+ years in hell, what is this scalpel going to do, this isn't the first time a loved one has tortured him either

oh cas and dean just did a double brother bluff on this leviathan

:( big sad about dean still trying to find benny

guess we gotta kill him off even off-screen huh

at least we got ty olsson back for like one more cameo episode

oh I'm so so so here for the time travel watch and glad I wrote a sam-related time travel fic just before this aired lmao

"I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refuse to hear it."

GO CAS GO!!!

so by 2021 castiel is gone and future!sam immediately brings him up and current/past!sam is extremely shaken up over it to the point of maybe grinding his teeth just for having to hear about it hypothetically

I'm glad we're not forgetting the events of season 6 because I fucking loved season 6

I love the bleached or like frostbitten trees in this scene

eyes emoji, cas with the mark of cain and being buried in a ma'lak box? interesting. interesting especially to have him suffer a similar fate to jack's temporary and hypothetical one, I was gonna assume the empty had come back for him

is sam trying to take bullets from this scene with him into the real world/the past/??? clever dude

also I was here for the movie night domestic AU earlier before we got the call about claire

so if dean and cas walked into an angel trap why didn't dean just break the line...

the cast of SPN is so good at crying

I would like to believe that dean is sincere on some level but I feel like I've also seen him give teary apologies to everybody else in his life that he inevitably just goes on to continue to hurt so, shrug emoji

dean when are you going to apologize for trying to kill jack, huh, because you're "forgiving" castiel for things that weren't his fault and that he didn't need to apologize for but did anyway

he sure puts on a good show though

december 09, 2022 at 3:11 AM

it's an effective shot, the watch stopping, sam being unable to wind it further

also I'm glad they occasionally remember they can pray to castiel and he can hear them

cas is smart and competent, thank you rob berens. that explains why he was willing to walk into the angel trap

are these.... other hunters?????? coming to get them

I love all these AU endings honestly

sam and dean dying side by side is more satisfying than one killing the other cain & abel style to be honest

oh they're vampires i love it lmaoooo fuck

this fight scene is fucking incredible

I actually love bobby being the one to take sam out because of when sam was going to kill bobby in the trickster shit, and I think also in S6 if I remember right, as soulless sam maybe?

fuck I can't wait to see the bloopers from this scene, dean's expressions are killing me, jensen is so funny and jared looks SO FUCKING GOOD jesus, he nailed the lip curl so well I'm just like. goddamn.

I love seeing bobby and jody in action even if it's in a terrible circumstance

this shot of them from behind is incredible

that feel when god's making fun of you

okay I got so distracted by sam with vampire teeth that I went to bed without finishing this episode and am picking up again the following day

"the monsters" as if sam hasn't been called a monster ten thousand times over, including by his family

dean's like "what did you [chuck] do to him [sam]???" and i'm like, chuck made him genre savvy, dean

I don't want castiel to have the mark of cain

I really like the casino as a backdrop for this for like... rolling the dice, chancing fate, etc

saileen is a good ship

I'm glad nobody permanently hurt eileen

cas looks so tired

I've missed seeing jack so much