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jejunecartoons · 4 days ago

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I Stand Before You On The Convergence Of Entropy, Fate, And A Retail Inventory Assignment From Hell.

With tensions, stress, and a cosmic reckoning already rolling downhill. I present the following in complete and utter good faith, entire sincerity and three years experience under a revolving cast of coworkers, managers and corporate representatives. Not as a resignation, but as an acknowledgment of the shared absurdity we have all been asked to fulfill.

You demand 100% compliance to systems that are, by your own admission, 90% “common sense.” This is not accountability. This is abdication of definition.

You preach “best practice” while delegating chaos. You post workflows on every table, then fault us for improvising when those workflows inevitably fail.

You expect omniscience from associates but offer no clarity in return. “Tag what looks expensive” is not a policy. It is a loophole for blame.

Your security standards are aesthetic, not functional. They are not designed to protect product —they are designed to protect narrative. That someone, somewhere, “cared.”

You romanticize productivity like folklore. You invoke the 4-minute mile to justify the erosion of human labor boundaries — without ever asking what was lost in the race.

You seek innovation without deviation. Initiative without autonomy. You want thinkers who don��t think, and doers who don’t notice what’s broken.

You mistake quiet compliance for stability. It is not. It is the sound of disengagement.

You say, “If something’s wrong, speak up,” and then punish improvisation with retroactive scolding. You do not want initiative — you want insurance.

You confuse standardization with fairness. Fairness is adaptable. Standardization is lazy.

You mistake a rising college town’s labor surplus for a license to waste talent. You will cycle through dozens of good workers and never understand why they vanish.

And when —against all odds — something human stabilizes here… when trust is built, and morale flickers back to life… that is when you offer promotions. But only if we’re willing to leave, start over, and carry the weight again. Loyalty is never rewarded with rest — only relocation.

You introduce new security procedures — more tags, more checks, more hoops — but you change nothing about the time we’re given. Not one minute more. We are expected to move at the old speed while doing twice the work. This is not strategy. It is sabotage by euphemism.

These added steps are not protections. They are performances. We perform security. We simulate vigilance. Not because it works — but because it looks good on audit day.

If security tags worked, shrink would vanish. It hasn’t. Because shrink is not a moral flaw in your workers — it is the price you pay for pretending your processes are airtight while ignoring the cracks that open from the top.

We do not need more stickers. We need less denial. Fewer empty fixes. More admission that complexity without support is just delay in disguise.

You sell each new measure like a solution, but treat it like a punishment. Not because it helps — but because someone, somewhere, needs to be seen trying.

17. Markdowns Are The Perfect Lie.

The system knows what’s on sale.

It calculates it, tracks it, even prints the tags.

But instead of a list, we’re told: “Just find them.”

Every rack. Every shelf. One by one.

A company smart enough to generate the sale, Is dumb enough to make you re-scan the store by hand. This is not oversight. It’s outsourced labor through willful negligence.

You expect total compliance with markdowns, but you give no complete list. Not by item, not by category.

Only the ghost of a hint — a tone, a suggestion —

“You should be able to tell.” From what? A red sticker? A manager’s gesture? Whole categories go ignored for months — others get pulled every week.

There is no schedule. There is no rotation. Only the myth of one.

If markdowns matter, then act like they matter.

Define the cadence. Clarify the zones. Give us the map.

Or stop pretending we failed to follow it.

"You’re missing markdowns” But you can’t miss what isn’t there. The item was stolen. Perfectly. Cleanly. The system thinks it’s still on the shelf, gathering dust. In truth? It left the store weeks ago, Stuffed in a purse, Walked past a broken camera, And was never seen again.

The Computer Doesn't Know Theft. It Knows Absence Without Explanation. And It Blames You.

So now you’re on your knees scanning hangers for ghosts. Looking for a pair of jeans that do not exist, Because the system demands ritual compliance with its imagined inventory.

This is the quiet joke of retail: You Are Punished For The Precision Of A Thief.

Instead of fixing security, they fix expectations. More markdowns. More audits. More scanning.

Less trust. Less time. Less reality

18. The Triple Beep of Redundant Acknowledgment;

When an associate scans a valid markdown item, the handheld scanner emits three long, proud beeps —A theatrical confirmation of success, as if the user wouldn’t immediately notice the literal thermal label spitting out of the shoulder-mounted printer they are physically attached to.

This is not a harmless quirk. It is a nails-on-chalkboard absurdity, repeated hundreds of times per shift.

Especially when markdown lists contain thousands of SKUs, each scanned one by one — because bulk updates or system-synced lists are, apparently, out of the question.

You’re already straining to hold a scanner, item, printer, and sticker roll at once. You're dodging customers, balancing hangers, managing limited battery life.

And then comes the "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP"

To confirm what your printer already screamed in physical form: Yes, that was a markdown.

There is no toggle. There is no off-switch. Just endless affirmations of the obvious. It’s the small things that break people. Not a single moment of cruelty — but a thousand little ones, rehearsed daily, in stereo. But this isn’t just auditory clutter. You cannot scan another item until it finishes beeping.

Every markdown becomes a mini timeout, Forcing a pause, Breaking flow, Shattering efficiency, Not for safety, Not for clarity, But for ritual. In a list of hundreds, Even thousands of markdowns, This delay adds up to minutes lost per hour, Hours lost per week, And entire shifts wasted waiting For a redundant noise to finish announcing a truth you already physically received.

There is no override. No way to mute it. No option to multitask.

Just You, A Tag,

And The Machine Reminding You Who's Really In Charge.

19. And When The Truth Is Found;

When the numbers don’t add up, When the backroom is a war-zone, And the sales floor a graveyard of miscategorized product, It’s Treated Like a Divine Revelation. A mystery. Unspoken. Unknowable. As if the universe conspired overnight to create a discrepancy that no one could have seen coming. The people who asked for time? For training? For help? Now it’s their fault.

They “should have done something.” Should have sensed the collapse In the same way they’re expected to sense what’s on sale without being told. It Is Not The System’s Fault.

It never is. So the cycle continues: You suffer in silence. You stabilize the chaos. And when things finally start to make sense— They promote someone elsewhere, To go start the cycle again.

Because The System Is Sacred. Your Time Is Not.

20. And When The Work Is Done;

Not right, not reasonably, but fast— they call you a star. A leader. A natural. They write your name in dry erase marker at the top of a board no one agreed to race.

A scoreboard with no prize but the illusion of being seen.

And if you fall behind? No one asks why. No one checks the load.

They just move your name down quietly, As if you dropped it yourself.

Praise becomes currency. A tool. A leash.

"You’re one of the good ones.” “You’ve always been so reliable.” "What would we do without you?"

They hand you a badge and call it honor, when it’s just a shackle in bronze. Recognition Becomes Pressure Masquerading As Gratitude.

21. They Give Out Hearts.

Little pink paper valentines called “Heartbeat of [Insert Store Number Here].”

Printed Black & White on Plain Copy Paper, of Course.

Not in February— in June, for February efforts, filed under “we meant to.”

They pin your name on a bulletin board next to half-torn flyers, and call it legacy.

You made a "difference" Not to someone, not for something, but In Metrics. In Willingness.

In saying yes to something not your job,

At a time not your shift,

Because someone didn’t show up,

And someone else had a clipboard.

They hand you a card like communion. Small, bright, With a corporate smile, And the empty taste of compliance made sacred. “You made a difference.”

But no one tells you where. Just that it helped. Just that it counted.

Just enough that next time, You’ll Do It Again.

22. The Caring Cupboard

Has a $120 budget. Split across three weeks and forty lives. By week one: ramen, two oatmeal packets, a single can of chickpeas. By week two: hope. By week three: the sign taped crookedly reads "We see you."

And they do— leave crumbs.

The vending machine stays stocked on schedule though.

The microwaves technically work.

On the counter are the worlds smallest Keurig,

And a minimum viable toaster. Donated by staff of course,

Temporarily allowed until "safety" concerns remove them.

They Trust You To Operate A Compactor, But Not Filter Water, Or Clean Out Crumbs.

23. Lockers Are Provided, For your convenience.

Don’t decorate. Don’t forget your lock. Don’t leave it overnight.

It’s your locker, unless we need it back.

The Key To Belonging Is Not Belonging At All.

24. The Fun Calendar

Smiles from the break room wall.

Dress-Up Day! Cartoon Shirt Day! Mismatch Sock Thursday!

Themes chosen democratically by the assigned designer; When no one’s around.

All expressions pre-cleared by HR.

Festivities canceled for audit season.

Spirit punished with write-ups.

You can wear a graphic tee—

But not that one. Not that color. Not too funny. Not too much.

Try again next Fun Day when morale is less expensive.

All Permissible Self Expression Must Meet Dress Code Protocols. Not the actual ones; The Myth.

The Infinite list of what is and isn't allowed.

The one that always just so happens to align with the managers personal taste.

The one that, for some reason, is only levied at targets that happened to annoy them recently.

25. The Wall of Rights Stands Tall In The Break Room.

Posters from the Department of Labor—

Unpaid wages? Call this number.

Unsafe work? Report it here.

Harassment? You are protected. But behind it all?

A Laminated Copy Of Your Signed Arbitration Agreement.

You waived your right to sue when you clocked in.

"You can opt out" they say.

Just ask your manager for the form.

The one no one has.

The one no one mentions.

The one you had 30 days to find;

Between learning the register and restocking bras by cup and brand.

The Wall Is Required By Law. So Is The Silence Behind It.

26. This Week’s Safety Topic

Proper Lifting Technique. Bend your knees, not your back. Team lifts for heavy items. Rest when needed. Hydrate. Be your brother’s keeper. Meanwhile: The Stairs To The Trash Are Five Welded Death Plates.

Stitched by a ghost on opening weekend. Each step a folded razor. They rattle like judgment beneath your steel-toed shoes. The trash chute: five feet up. You hoist bags over your head like sacrifices, Hope they make it in without tumbling back onto your spine. The welds are cosmetic. One good kick and they rise like drawbridges. Somethings stuck in the chute? Here's two metal poles duct taped together.

You Figure It Out. They say it’s fine. No incidents reported. Because No One Bothers To Report Bruises Anymore. The trash panel swings like judgment. Outward. Over the stairs. You walk up with a bag, and if you’re not careful—

It Bites.

They added gummy foam tape. A soft, merciful bandage on the edge of a guillotine. Not to fix the danger— Just to hush the blood. It has tasted flesh. The crest of a scalp. A pink slash across a forearm. Now it’s padded. Now it’s “safe.” Now it’s your fault.

27. “We Are Committed to Sustainability.”

Says the laminated break-room poster. As you "debit" a perfectly functional suit case. As you toss another plastic-wrapped hoodie into the bin. As you watch the compactor crush cardboard, plastic, and a half-eaten lunch into one glorious cube of lies.

Overseas hands fold it neat. Plastic over silk. Tape over tags. They ship it across oceans so we can rip it apart and throw half of it away. You pull Styrofoam from wall decor, And paper shreds from soap, Bottles that leaked somewhere between Singapore and Pasadena. You strip the bubble wrap, Wipe the shattered glass off a six-dollar candle, Protected only by hope and thin cardboard.

The Candles Survive. The People Don’t.

And the trash pile rises. Not in back. Not behind the scenes*.* But right here, In the fitting room, On the stores floor, In your lungs, Under your nails.

The Only Thing Recycled Is The Lie.

28. The Customers Rob Us Daily.

But the cameras point inward. One screen for every corner of your body, and all of them watching you. Not them. Never them. “Be alert,” says the poster. “Report suspicious behavior.” And below that: “250–2500 if it leads to an impact.” Not justice. Not truth. Just “impact.”

The cashiers are our front line. Smiling through suspicion. Checking twenties for counterfeits while rushing to beat the “speedy checkout” clock, Selling store credit cards to the very people the cameras won’t catch, And asking for five-star reviews, From customers who leave with three stolen items and a free pen. And if a wallet goes missing? It must have been the new guy. It always is.

“It’s not personal,” they say, as they review your locker contents, And check your bag on the way out.

Just procedure. Just policy. Just paranoia.

But when there's a pile of censors in a shoe, or a trash bag full of tags is missing? Silence.

The Eyes Of The Store Are Wide Open. And Still, They Only Look In One Direction.

29. The Name Tag: Convenience or Crosshair?

Everyone must wear a name tag. The stated purpose? “So customers know who to thank.” But the real function is faster escalation. Faster complaints. Faster identifications when things go wrong — no matter how vague or unfair the accusation. It is not a gesture of recognition. It is a prewritten accusation template: “Some guy named Alex was rude.” “The girl in red — I think her name was Sam — didn’t help me.” “Whatever her name was, it was on her chest. She rolled her eyes.”

The name tag is the shortest possible path between a moment of stress and a manager’s office. It is instant accountability with no room for context. It turns human interaction into customer-to-agent confrontation. You are no longer just a worker. You are a label, a scapegoat, a button to push when the world disappoints.

They tell you to smile.

To engage.

To wear your name with pride.

But everyone knows the truth:

It’s Not Your Name They Care About; It’s Who To Blame When The Refund Doesn’t Go Through.

30. The Water Bottle Policy

Your hydration is now a security risk. If it’s not crystal clear, they’ll ask you to uncap it. “It’s just procedure,” As they sniff your bottle for the scent of rebellion, Or worse — soda. So bring a see-through flask, Because God forbid you bring lemonade. That’s grounds for suspicion. They say it's about theft. But we all know it’s about control. Because nothing says “trust” like being told to open your drink, In front of someone holding a checklist.

We used to joke that Big Brother watched.

Now Big Brother Thinks You’re Hiding Vodka In Your Gatorade.

Meanwhile, the real thieves walk out the front door, With carts of merchandise and a smile for the cameras that never pan that way.

31. “Hi, Welcome To [Insert Store Name Here]."

"If I could have you pause for just a moment...”

A velvet rope. A security vest. A quick glance at a camera no one is watching. It’s not protection. It’s performance.

They greet everyone like a TSA agent who lost the plane.

"We’re controlling store entry to ensure a safe and secure shopping experience.”

Unless, of course, someone’s actually in danger. Then it’s “Policy says call the manager.” And the manager? They call the cops. Then it’s writing a report. Then they call corporate. It’s All Delay.

Like hanging velvet curtains in a burning theater. The thieves know this. They walk past the rope. Past the welcome. Right through the “security experience.” Carts full. Unbothered.

Because The Only People Being Managed

Are The Ones Who Work Here.

The show’s for them. Not the guests.

32. "Loud And Proud" - Surveillance as Spectacle

Every customer who walks into the store is met with a mandatory ritual: A scripted security greeting delivered by the Shortage Control Associate. It must be done "loud and proud." That’s the instruction.

Not just clearly — projected.

Not just scripted — performed.

So loud it echoes through the racks,

through the backroom,

through your soul.

You are not greeting customers.

You are declaring fealty to surveillance.

This isn’t safety. It’s ritualized theater. A performance for the camera. A constant ping to regular customers and workers, ignored by thieves: We Are Watching. And when actual theft happens? SCAs are told not to engage. Call a manager. Let it go. Say the line again.

Security is not for protection. It’s not even for deterrence.

It’s a costume, a choreography of authority that creates no power. Only presence. Only noise. Only the illusion that someone is in control.

33. Welcome to the Shortage Highway.

A pilgrimage you must take every time you clock out for lunch, for break, for breath. Walk the perimeter. Don’t stray. Don’t stop.

Smile.

You’re not allowed to just go. You must patrol. You must engage. You must high five — Not literally, of course. No touching. Just proximity marketing.

Look them in the eye.

Make them feel seen.

Make the theft feel harder.

This is not your time. Your break is not in sight. It’s borrowed surveillance. Miss a “high five”? Too quiet in your stride?

Someone will notice. Someone is noticing. T

his is the Retail way:

You will make contact. You will be a presence.

You will be visible. Even if your joy is not.

34. The Customer is Always Right.*

When they say it’s broken, you break the price.

When they say it’s missing, you remove the tag.

When they say it’s cheaper elsewhere, you believe.

The register bends. Policy flexes. Margins vanish.

*But when their kid needs to pee?

Now they’re suspects.

The bathroom is sacred. Too sacred for codes. No writing it down. No telling. Only escorting. You, the associate, become the key.

Not metaphorically.

Literally.

You must walk them to the door. You must punch in the code in full view as if secrecy lies in muscle memory. The code never changes. It’s on your fingers. Anyone watching can crack it. Everyone watching already has. But the theater is mandatory. They must believe it’s secure. You Must Perform Control

Even as the bathroom floods; Even as it smells like failure; Even as the soap dispenser screams for mercy.

Welcome to customer care.

Where you smile as you surrender.

Where you follow them to the bathroom

But cannot follow them to reason.

35. The Janitor Closet is Locked.

Not with a latch. Not with a handle. With the same Key-Ring that opens the safe. The money room. The vault of gods. To mop the vomit, you must be blessed. The code to touch bleach is the same as the code to touch cash. Security is absolute — when it concerns filth. The mop bucket must not fall into the wrong hands. The Swiffer pads are sacred texts. The toilet brush, a relic. Guard them well.

And yet, the door is still warped. The handle loose. The light flickers like a prophecy. Inside? One ancient vacuum, Half a gallon of generic “all-purpose,” And a broom with no head. The floor is wet with effort. The air is thick with Lysol and resignation. You clean it, but you can’t fix it.

The walls rot behind their holy lock.

But still — you are not trusted with open access.

Because this is retail,

And nothing is holy except the illusion of control.

36. The Grand Hall of Mirrors is closed.

A dozen doors. A maze of z-racks. Enough space for a ballet. Sealed With A Rolling Gate.

You see, trust costs money. So does supervision. So instead of staffing it, we lock it up — like a memory of what dignity looked like. In its place: Two tiny stalls built by compromise and lit like a lie. Just off the register — so close you can smell the returns. Each stall has a glowing LED, like a traffic light, meant to say: “Someone is here.”

But who? For how long? With how much merchandise?

No one knows.

The cameras glare, but never act. They are the unblinking gods of a crumbling Olympus. They bear witness. They do not interfere. The Scheduled “Check-Ins” Are Rituals. Performed without faith, Once every 30 minutes, Unless we forget. Theft happens in the meantime. Not out of malice, but invitation.

The room says: “This Company Doesn’t Care.” So why should you? The customers know. The workers know.

Only corporate pretends this isn't a performance of collapse.

And still, we ask people to smile, To suggestive sell, To read minds,

To Offer Service Where Even Structure Has Abandoned Us.

37. Even The Trash Is Under Lock, Camera, And Suspicion.

The janitor closet is locked with the same key as the store’s secure cash room— A symbolic conflation of trash and treasure. Taking out the garbage isn't a mindless chore: it's a controlled operation. You're expected to bring a partner. If you're alone, you're breaking protocol. You're expected to wait. A lead or manager is supposed to inspect every bag. You're expected to be watched. A camera directly overlooks the trash area — not for safety, but surveillance.

The implication is clear: Garbage Is A Potential Crime Scene. Every discarded hanger, broken fixture, or plastic wrap could conceal theft. Employees are trusted to fold hundred-dollar coats, operate pallet jacks, and open the store— But not to throw out a box unsupervised.

This Isn’t Protection. It’s Paranoia By Policy.

38. Standardized Chaos — The Illusion of Corporate Structure

Every few months, the store receives “updated flow” and “floor plan” directives — glossy PDFs, hastily printed diagrams, or vague bullet lists labeled as corporate strategy. These updates are identical for every store in the region; Galleria malls, Suburban outlets, Cramped city retail units; All treated as interchangeable puzzle pieces in a boardroom fantasy. But the map has no respect for the terrain.

The new plan might call for three tables where there's a fire exit. Or for expanded shoe racks in a department that hasn’t had full inventory in six months. They might list a location for men’s coats where walls don’t even exist. This mismatch births a contradiction:

Staff Are Given Rigid Expectations,

And Total Freedom — Simultaneously.

You are told to follow the plan. You are expected to interpret the plan. You are penalized when it fails. You are praised if it works — even if it only worked because you ignored it.

Thus emerges a culture where initiative is punished until it succeeds, and failure is blamed on lack of “common sense.”

There Is No Flow; Only Illusion.

There Is No Plan; Only Plausible Deniability.

39. Backlog as Blame — The Pathologization of Labor

When tasks pile up — markdowns missed, freight unprocessed, displays unfinished— the assumption is not logistical failure.

It is moral.

The Accusation Is Not "The Plan Didn't Work."

It's "You Didn’t Follow It Closely Enough."

Every error is retroactively cast as deviation. Not from a clear instruction — but from an imagined perfection that lives only in hindsight. If you had truly followed the process (which is mostly “common sense”) Then surely the backlog wouldn’t exist.

This Is Spiritual Gaslighting, Made Bureaucratic. The laborer is asked to confess to sins never named. The manager is forced to divine where their will was insufficient. The structure remains blameless. The spreadsheet stays clean. And when it doesn’t, someone’s heart wasn’t in it.

Even Success Is Not Proof Of Competence; Only A Delay Of The Next Reckoning.

40. The 4-Minute Fallacy — When Overperformance Becomes the Floor

The company preaches optimization like gospel. The story goes: "Once One Man Ran The Four-Minute Mile, Others Followed." What they don’t mention is None of them worked freight until 11 PM, then clocked in the next day at 7 AM. Success is not met with relief — it's met with re-calibration.

Do something faster than expected? Now that’s the new standard.

There is no bonus. No structural change. No surge in pay or support.

Only a nod of appreciation, and a new silent burden to carry alone.

They say you’ve “risen to the occasion,”

But forget that the occasion was a collapsing dam of understaffing, shipment backlog, and rotating expectations— none of which changed after your effort.

And still, you're told to be proud. To wear the broken record of your performance as a badge.

All while McDonald’s across the street is offering $8 more per hour, with benefits, free food, and no inventory audit.

You’re Told: "We’re A Family."

But The Kind Of Family That Borrows Your Labor And Forgets Your Name.

41. Scheduling: A Machine With No Driver

The labor hours are algorithmic;

Generated by a system that doesn’t know the store,

the team, or the workload;

It calculates hours like a machine balancing books;

With no memory of yesterday and no awareness of tomorrow;

And Yet, Corporate Calls It “Optimized.”

It’s then handed to managers — not as a plan, but as a limitation.

A puzzle with pieces missing, where any correction becomes their responsibility, but no error was ever truly theirs to begin with.

If the freight shipment is late, If coverage is short, If three workers call out and none can be replaced Blame falls not on the system, But on the person stuck translating it into a workable week.

And of course, there’s no way to check the logic. No insight into why hours were cut, Or why full-time staff were given part-time hours While new hires get 4-hour weeks to “balance the curve.” Associates are left waiting for final schedules that arrive days late.

Sometimes after the week has already begun.

Sometimes changed after they're already clocked in.

You Don’t Get Consistency; You Get Warnings.

You Don’t Get Planning; You Get A Guess And A Prayer.

All Of It Is Justified By A Number;

A Number No One In The Building Chose;

And No One In The Building Can Change.

42. Process Hours Without Process Thinking

Once upon a time, the store received its deliveries in the early dawn; 6 A.M. to 8 A.M.

Before the doors opened, Before customers flooded the floor,

Before anyone had to apologize for blocking the aisle with a steel battering ram.

It wasn’t perfect — but it was functional.

Freight cages could roll out cleanly. Backroom processing could begin without dodging strollers and carts. And resets, pulls, and tagging all had a head start.

Then one day,

Without Warning Or Explanation,

Shipping Times Were Changed To 11 A.M. To 1 P.M. No memo, no logistics justification, no staff consensus.

Just an order.

Now, deliveries arrive in the middle of the store’s peak — when sales need floor coverage, and the aisles are most congested. Backroom space fills with carts that can’t be processed. Cages clog the customer lanes. And associates must choose: Process freight or serve guests. And somehow,

The expectations remain identical.

Same freight goals. Same floor times. Same audit deadlines. As if time didn’t change. As if the customer traffic didn’t double. As if the building had doubled in size to accommodate both. But the truckers didn’t request this.

They’re now navigating Calexico to Riverside mid-day, through urban congestion and parking chaos.

Everyone Suffers; No One Benefits; And No One Explains.

It’s Not A System; It’s Just A Shift Of Burden; From Planners To Processors; From Paper To People.

43. The Cycle of Internal Conflict

The change in delivery times didn’t just disrupt process— It Set Departments Against Each Other. Back of House is told to move fast: Unload. Scan. Roll. Hang. Push freight onto the floor before the next truck arrives. Speed is Compliance**.** Speed is Praised**.** Speed is Posted. And so they rush. Clothes hit the racks sideways. Hangers backwards. Tags missing. Sets broken. Inventory miscounted.

Front of house is left with the fallout: Customers asking where the rest of the set is. Cashiers juggling damaged goods and security tags that won’t scan. Managers scrambling to recover broken shelves while prepping markdowns. And when recovery is rushed or mistakes are made?

Front gets blamed. Back blames floor. Floor blames back. The Cycle Feeds Itself. Everyone knows the Truth; It’s Not Any One Department’s Failure. It’s that the system expects perfection from chaos. Speed with no slack. Volume with no pause. And instead of fixing the structure, they watch the conflict.

Let Them Fight. It Keeps Them Busy.

And As Long As It Gets Done, Eventually,

Corporate Says The System Works.

44. The Olive Branch Illusion

To soothe the growing divide between Front of House and Back of House, corporate prescribes "shared labor policies" — symbolic gestures meant to show unity.

BOH staff are required to "recover the floor" for the first 15 minutes of their shift — a pause before touching the freight. FOH staff are expected to manage the Queue Cages — pushing freight from the registers to the back hallway cages while also handling customers and checkouts.

In Theory, This Promotes Empathy. In Practice, It Breeds Silent Resentment.

Back of House hates the floor recovery. They’re trained for speed, for volume; not hangers on the floor. They see it as beneath their pace. A fake chore that cuts into freight timing; One More Delay On An Already Impossible Clock.

Front of House dreads the queue cages. There are always more than there is space. They pile up fast — especially during rushes. No room to maneuver. No help. Just the slow crawl of dealing with inventory labeled fragile, valuable, or absurdly heavy, while being interrupted by customers every five seconds.

Then, suddenly—The back is ready for cages. All of them. Now. And It’s A Panic. Staff scramble to clear paths, relocate stock, or “make room” where there is none.

So, Neither Side Feels Helped; Only Used. What Was Sold As A Bridge; Becomes A Bitter Trade. Not Collaboration; But Obligation. Not Unity; But Another Invisible Metric No One Agreed To.

45. The Myth of the Backroom Printer

For over three years, the designated back-of-house printers — Meant for mass, consistent, actualization of missing tags— Have Remained Inoperable. Not once; not sporadically; Nonfunctional For Over 1,000 Days. Every support ticket submitted is closed or ignored. Every mention to management is met with the same shrug: “Yeah, we’ve put in another ticket.”

And so the markdown printers— Lightweight, Mobile, And designed only for price reduction labels; Are used for everything. They Were Not Built For This. They jam, they print slowly, but they're all we have.

This Isn’t A Store That Failed To Keep Up. It’s A Store That Has Adapted To Its Own Decay.

And still, deadlines loom. Still, expectations remain. Still, corporate metrics hold everyone accountable,

Still for results, not infrastructure.

The Printer Is Broken. The System Isn’t. It’s Functioning Exactly As Intended.

46. The Illusion Of Prevention

Everyone Knows.

The Thieves Know.

The Workers Know.

Even Corporate Knows.

Every Security Tag Comes Off With A Magnet.

You can buy one online. You can use one at home. You can walk into the dressing room with it and walk out clean. So why tag everything? Why spend hundreds of hours a week attaching them by hand?Because the tag isn't security. It's theater. It’s a prop in the surveillance show.

It says: We Are Watching. It says: Someone Cares. It makes you pause, makes you wonder, makes you hesitate. But It’s Fake. No alarms. No ink explosions. Just plastic and posturing.

Even the greeting rope at the entrance; That velvet line and cheerful hostage speech; It’s Not For You; It’s For The Cameras; It’s For Liability; It’s For The Show.

Because when real theft happens, when someone actually takes a cart full of goods out the door: The SCA doesn’t stop them; The manager won’t chase; The police don’t come.

What Matters Isn’t Stopping Loss. It’s Appearing To Try.

That’s the Corporation's real security strategy, Keep The Illusion Alive.

Make workers perform compliance.

Make customers believe in consequences.

Make corporate believe the illusion is working.

Until Someone Notices The Emperor Has No Tags.

47. Policy Over Performance

In Retail, the systems don’t need to work. They just need to look like they work.

Security Tags?

Easily bypassed with magnets.

Still applied by hand to hundreds of items a day.

Still locked up for employee use.

Surveillance Posters?

Hanging in the break room and back hall.

"You’re being watched."

Yet the most common thefts go completely unrecorded.

SCA Greetings?

“Loud and proud” recitations of control and security.

Repeated for every customer, often to empty air.

A form of vocal compliance, not a deterrent.

The Dressing Room?

One gated room sits locked 90% of the year.

A smaller two-stall is left open with a camera.

Neither stops the theft — because the schedule is what gets policed, not the risk.

The Floor Plan Updates?

Generic layouts from corporate;

Untailored to the actual store;

Staff are expected to follow them blindly;

Regardless of real conditions.

The Trash Inspections?

A camera watches you throw away literal garbage.

A manager is expected to verify every bag.

The same process is circumvented daily just to function.

Markdowns?

Labeled as "common sense," not logic.

Scanners beep three times before printing — and you can't scan while they do.

Name Tags?

Marketed as customer care.

Function as surveillance anchors.

Direct lines of accountability when accusations arise.

This is the Play-Acting Of Process,

Where every role is performed, Every beat rehearsed, But no one’s actually watching the show. Because what matters isn’t Efficiency, Isn’t Outcomes, Isn’t even Truth. What matters is the Appearance:

That you’re working hard; That corporate is in control; That someone has thought this through.

And If The Show Falls Apart, It’s Not Because The System Failed;

It’s Because You Didn’t Perform It Right.

48. AXIOMS OF THEATRICAL LABOR

1. The Costume Is The System

What you wear, say, and gesture matters more than what you do. A name tag creates trust. A lanyard creates hierarchy. A shirt tucked in signifies responsibility.

None of these affect outcomes, but all of them protect the illusion of structure.

2. The Script Is The Standard

Whether it functions or not, you must read your lines. Loudly greet at the door. Say "pause for just a moment" like you believe it. Print markdowns with patience, no matter how broken the scanner is. Say the name of the loyalty program every transaction.

If it fails, say it again.

3. The Stage Is Arbitrary

Floor plans arrive from nowhere. Corporate flow maps are copy-pasted from cities that don't resemble yours. Storage space is fiction. Queues overflow. Back rooms flood.

You are not asked to fix it. You are asked to make it look like it never broke.

4. The Audience Is Management

You're not performing for customers. You're performing for auditors, regional managers, camera reviews, and abstract expectations. You don't need to succeed. You need to be seen trying.

Appear busy. Appear precise. Appear productive.

If the metrics are wrong, it means you're not acting hard enough.

5. The Show Must Go On

No matter how broken the register, how wrong the shipment, how pointless the markdowns — continue. If you ask too many questions, you're slowing the rhythm. If you adjust the system, you're going off-script. If you find peace with coworkers, expect to be reassigned.

Harmony is the enemy of control.

6. The Applause Is Hollow

"You Made a Difference" cards. "Heartbeat of Our Store" certificates. Boards listing your fastest times. Points systems for candy. Recognition is a tool, not a gift. It exists to keep you performing.

It is given late. It is given vaguely. It is given only when performance matches fantasy

7. The Props Are Broken

Scanners that beep but don't register. Printers that never received support tickets. Security tags that do nothing. Locks that mean nothing. Cameras watching the wrong thing.

The sets are cardboard and tape. The actors are tired. But the show is still on.

8. The Director Is Absent

Policy comes from nowhere. You Must Obey. Exceptions are undefined. Expectations change without notice. The managers are caught in the same performance.

They cannot speak plainly. They can only pass along the next line in the script.

9. The Audience Leaves Before the Ending

No one is measuring what actually works. No one notices the fire exits that don’t close. No one sees the trash compactor injuries. No one checks the real backlog. The managers know. The workers know.

But the show isn't for them.

10. The Play Is a Lie

You are pretending to work. They are pretending to lead. The customers are pretending to believe.

All of it could be done better, With half the theater, And double the truth.

49. The Extraction of Humanity

1. When people make things work, the system breaks them to “optimize” the magic.

Friendships, rhythms, trust — these emerge naturally among teams over time. But once a store finds its footing through human effort, it is punished. High performers are relocated, promoted with conditions, or reassigned under vague “development plans,” severing the roots of community they helped grow.

2. “Stabilization” is not seen as success, but untapped capital.

A smooth-running store is viewed not as a testament to shared humanity, but as wasted potential. The logic follows: if things are working, you don’t need as many people, or you should split the talent to “scale it.”

This isn’t reward — it’s cannibalism.

3. Moments of peace are interpreted as inefficiency.

When workers laugh, breathe, collaborate without chaos — these are not cherished. They are audited. “How did you have time to be calm?” becomes the question. Joy is seen as excess.

Humanity; a margin to be shaved.

4- Promotions are used as surgical tools, not as growth pathways.

Advancement is never just a reward. It is conditional: “Are you willing to start over somewhere new? Can you drop what you’ve built to serve the brand elsewhere?” Promotions extract individuals from functioning teams to test their loyalty — not to recognize their achievement.

5- The system depends on people caring just enough to fix it, But Not Enough To Challenge It.

Every stabilizing figure is shipped out, self-limiting, or burned out. Every organic system of trust is repurposed or discarded. Every heartbeat is spent proving that people can make even this broken machine run — before the machine crushes them for it.

50. I’ve Stopped Pretending This Is Normal.

Because we can build something real.

Because we can work on something that doesn’t eat people to make numbers.

Because you asked me to become an enforcer for policies you won’t define, uphold a system you won’t fix, and sacrifice my joy for a story that doesn’t end well for anyone.

I'm not asking for the reasons behind these decisions.

I'm asking why they remain in face of failure time and time again?

This is not an attack. This is not an insult. It is a statement of Fact.

I hope you will do something meaningful with it.

—[Name Redacted] *Former Cart Cleaner, Unpaid Morale Officer

06/05/2025

Addendum - 06/07/2025

Inventory didn’t break because the numbers were wrong. It Broke Because The Process Had No Soul.

Associates were called in as early as 5:30 AM, expected to be alert and presentable for a morning meeting, then sent directly to their assigned zones. Both teams were made of competent people. Both Teams had the work experience.

Team A — Made up of close friends and coworkers who trusted each other — cruised through their section laughing.

Team B — Mostly strangers corralled together under quiet suspicion; stumbled through the chaos as best as they could muster.

Team A would eventually be conscripted to fill in the gaps Team B Left.

Breaks and lunches had been preassigned on slips of paper, And you were expected to follow them without reminders. If You Forgot Your Time, You Missed It. But when it came time to log into the scanning devices? You were just expected to know your “user ID.” Or have the app. Or already be logged in. A login no one uses — except once a year.

For Inventory

If you were part of the unlucky audit group, You were held all the way until 3:58 PM — Nearly eleven hours on your feet with little clarity, little direction, and very little food. One coworker quit halfway through the day,

Not in Rage;

Not In Theater;

Whispering “I can’t do this anymore..” On The Stairwell.

Another nearly walked out hours later,

Tired,

Furious,

Only persuaded to stay when a peer — without any actual authority — told him to just leave. Eight people were held late not for real error — but because a flawed system claimed their zones hadn’t reached the 10% threshold. We scanned the same items again and again.

The numbers bounced around — 5%, 4%, 7% — never matching, never budging. The count was correct. The audits were done. But the machine didn’t believe us. The Section was scanned several times. By several hands. The store is bleeding money in overtime. All for a bureaucratic digital checkbox.

And then, Without ceremony,

Someone

Not a manager, Not the designated lead, Decided on scanning just one item from each blocked zone. A count even the system couldn’t misread. And Just Like That: The System Blinked. “10% Reached.”

Management Cheered. From the office. Over The Radio. That was it. We were done.

It Had Never Been About Accuracy — Just Compliance.

The promised donuts never came. But the bakery still did — six marked-down pastries brought in by someone who thought tradition was still worth something. No one asked them to. No one had to.

That was the real shape of the day:

Broken Systems. Barely Held Together. By Human Beings Choosing To Care Anyway.

And when it finally ended, There was no speech, No moment of acknowledgment, No thank-you for the ten-hour shift, The patience, The overtime, Or the restraint it took not to scream.

Just a single question, tossed over the noise like it meant something:

“Did Everyone Return The Devices?”

That was our finale.

So What Now?

Grab your torch and pitchfork? Throw the brick? Firebomb the Walmart?

No.

We’ve seen that story. Over and over. It Always Ends Right Back Where It Started. I don't accept the premise that a better world is only possible through justified murder. If you want this time to be different, it has to start with people speaking their peace — Not holding it in for the sake of comfort, or politeness, or fear.

Everyone’s waiting for Tyler Durden or Guy Fawkes to show up and give permission to resist. "Who’s gonna take the shot?" "Where’s the revolution?" They’re not coming. And you don’t need them.

How are you gonna fight for a better world if you won’t even talk politics at Thanksgiving? You don’t hate your family — you hate what you think they believe. You don’t hate your boss — you hate what they enforce. And you project that anger as intent, that structure as malice. You want a kinder world? Be Kinder. You want a more honest world? Start Speaking Up. And if you don’t believe in a rule — Don’t Enforce It. Stop mistaking silence for safety. Stop mistaking obedience for neutrality.

You are not a cog. You are not a drone. You are not exempt.

If someone has to be first, let it be you.

And if you’re sure, If you’ve looked at your truth and chosen it; Then you have nothing to fear in defending it. You have nothing to fear from saying it out loud. They can challenge you. Let them.

Because If You're Right, You Won’t Need Permission.

So that’s the sermon. No altar call. No revolution manifest. No dramatic ending. No brick. No firebomb. Just a mirror. Just a reminder: You Already Know What’s Right.

Now Act Like It.

If you want a better world: Shape it. If you're sure: Say It. And if you’re not sure: Say That Too.

Don’t enforce rules you don’t believe in. Don’t stay silent just because no one else is speaking up.

You don’t need a Revolution. You need a Backbone.

But if you’re still figuring out what that means, Here’s four silly songs that helped me get here —

one scream, one shrug, one sigh, and one sitcom, Take what you need. Leave the rest.

Start Talking. And For Your Sake,

Stop Waiting For Someone To Tell You What To Do

#my art #retail #customer service #prose #politics #public policy #union #workers #labor #labor rights #wages #capitalism #inequality

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turtletaubwrites · 10 months ago

Text

Numbers Game ~ Chapter 32

Make Your Bets Now!

Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 12.6k+ 😳😳

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Chapter Tunes: A Forest ~ The Cure | Burn Your Village ~ Kiki Rockwell

Summary: The White Stag is chased through the woods. The hunters begin to show their true colors, while the prey just tries to survive. You might not be the only one running away.

Recap: The banquet is underway, and you were dressed as the White Stag. You met your nine suitors, some of whom came as a shock. You gave each hunter an arrow, a symbol of their right to claim you. Uncle Cedrick just gave you a ten minute head start.

Author's Note: Hi!!! Thank you so much for your patience while I've been dealing with all the things! I've still been writing, as you can tell by the word count! 😬 Lol, I did a poll way back when Shanks first arrived asking if y'all would prefer two regular size chapters with no smut in one, or one giant chapter with the smut. So here ya go, lol, you asked for it! 😅🤭

Content Warning: There's not much dark content to warn for this chapter (besides the usual Numbers Game shenanigans & Buggy's POV on the Dr. Vorsan visit), but I wanted to give a heads up that there is a flashback of the 14 year old reader having a crush on an adult. Nothing occurs, but there is some very mild creepiness that could be interpreted as inappropriate. I WILL NEVER write about minors in that way, so please know that this is just a teenage crush! In case you would like to skip that, I'll bracket it with these ~~~⚫~~~

Fic Updates & Questions:

I will be retroactively adding titles to all chapters. I prefer to have titles for every chapter of a fic, but decided not to add them when I thought this was going to be a one shot 🤦🏼‍♀️ (We're getting closer to the end, and outlining will be way easier if I can remember which chapter things happened in, lol.) I'm going with quotes/lines from the chapters for the title theme. Also, I only used "part" instead of "chapter" on tumblr for formatting space, but I always call them chapters so ��‍♀️

Since this is a reader insert fic (that I thought would be a one shot 😅), I've tried to keep as many personal details as vague as possible so that we can all hop onto that lovely, green couch. I'm not planning to state the reader's age within the fic, but as we get further into the story, some of you numbers girl's may be able to figure out the math based on the flashbacks and such. I have a whole ass timeline graphed out, so if anyone is interested in knowing the specific ages and dates of related OP canon and Numbers Game canon, I'd be down to make a separate post just for that.

Alternate POV Symbols:

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for the end of the Wano arc. As we get further into Egghead Arc, there will be some spoilers (mainly from manga cover stories or SBS questions for minor characters' motivations, such as what the Vinsmoke's and Charlotte's have been up to since Wano, and why they'd want to marry our lovely heiress.)

Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Toxic Family, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Pain Kink, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Blowjobs, Threats, Relationship Drama, Anal, Doctors, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“I told you to run.”

Uncle Cedrick wet his lips after he hissed at you again, smirking while you transformed for him, and for his silent hunters and cheering guests.

The white stag. The hunted. The prey.

You’d never felt less human than you did right now, and the sense of danger in the air sent you racing toward the trees.

It was disorienting to move in this fumbling body. Some foul magic must have stolen your hooves, your graceful limbs, your fur to fend off the cool breeze of the night.

All you had left were your antlers, but they couldn’t help you flee. You escaped your heels, kicking free from the tight shoes as though they were traps meant to hold you still for the hunters to find. The dress made you panic, the weight of it wearing you down like trash left to suffocate creatures too helpless to free themselves from human garbage. You tried to lift the heavy skirts while you ran, but the train dragged behind you, catching on roots and branches as you fled.

Logic started to break through the adrenaline in bits and pieces, but the forest had pulled you into a dream.

“This isn’t a dream,” you panted to yourself, slowing down to lean against a tree.

That wild panic had left you with no idea how long you’d been running, but your heart was trying to escape from your body, and your lungs struggled to catch up as you let yourself stop.

That should be enough drama for Uncle’s show. Why should I care who catches me first? I have to date all of them anyway.

And the fear was back.

Nine men were about to stalk you through the woods at night, and you’d just run deeper into the darkness, like a fucking idiot.

Though you doubted that staying closer to the courtyard would have made you any safer. All of those leeches were here to watch the show. They’d probably already placed bets on which hunter would get his greedy hands on you first.

Don’t cry.

You almost did. Every time you thought you could accept your fate, Uncle Cedrick found ways to make it more torturous, more humiliating.

Apathy tried to protect you, a welcome friend that lulled your emotions to sleep until you stared into nothing, your logical mind reciting your thoughts on a loop to distract from what you were putting away.

I already gave the leeches a good show. It doesn’t matter who catches me first.

Useless rage replaced your apathy in a flash at the memory of the traitor touching your skin. Shanks was the last man you wanted to catch you, but Uncle’s threats felt like hidden traps, like suffocating trash, like this stupid dress that snagged on every branch.

I won’t give them anything else to hurt me with.

Crashes and yells entered the forest like a storm, and you were the white stag again.

You ran.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

Shanks had only been gone for a day, but the clown found himself aching for him in a way he hadn’t in years.

Letting Shanks back in had opened the door to all this shit he’d tried to stuff away, but he didn’t have room for all of these feelings right now. Not when his star was slurring her words, her voice high and distant while she tried to convince this fucking doctor that all their time together had meant nothing.

“It was all pretend. I was bored. I know it was risky behavior, I s-see that nn…”

“I’m glad you’re expressing that awareness, Y/N,” Dr. Vorsan’s voice bore down even through her frantic heartbeat, “but you still haven’t talked about the clown. It’s important that we understand our triggers so that we can prevent future episodes.”

She’s not breathing!

“You don’t want to have any more episodes, do you, Y/N?”

“No,” she agreed, though Buggy barely heard her over her now ragged breath.

“Good. Part of staying well means cooperating with your treatment,” the slimeball purred. “Why did you go with the clown?”

“He was sweet. And funny... I liked him.”

Buggy looked to the ceiling, unknowable emotions pulling his face into a grimace.

“You just told me that it was all pretend. That you were bored.”

“I, yes…”

“Clarity, Y/N,” the pompous creep scolded. “We can’t make changes if we don’t acknowledge our patterns. Why did you go with the clown?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Buggy growled.

The next words he heard had to be from her lips, but it sounded wrong, as though she’d been possessed by the concept of emptiness itself. His star was hollow.

Gone.

“I used him. I wanted to run. I’m selfish.”

No, baby, don’t say that.

The fucker didn’t say anything for too long. He couldn’t hear any rustling, only his empty star, breathing just enough to keep her alive.

“Your family was very worried for you. That extreme, self destructive behavior—“

“I know,” Y/N snapped, then Buggy heard the sound of skin against skin, as though she’d slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m s-s-sorry, doctor, I…”

“It’s quite, alright, Y/N,” the man fucking chuckled. “You’ve just experienced an episode that must have caused some additional trauma, but you’re safe now.”

Buggy hadn’t taken notes, and he looked down to find a shredded notepad on his lap, his shaky hands clenching into the paper.

“Do you want to be safe?”

“Yes, doctor,” Y/N stated, the gravity of a black hole in her voice.

“Was it safe to run away with pirates?”

What the fuck is he doing to her?

“No.”

“Good. Now, tell me about the clown.”

Circles and circles of this talk spun through Buggy’s mind, and it seemed like nothing was said, yet he could hear his star break a little more with every word.

“I’ll rip his tongue out, baby. Make him eat it for you. Don’t listen to him.”

“Excellent work today. Self reflection is difficult, but it’s the only way to heal.”

“Thank… Thank you, doctor.”

“There’s no need to thank me. You have the power to stay well all on your own, as long as you put in the work to take care of yourself. Just try to remember the kind of life you wish to have. You don’t want to lose yourself in another episode, do you, Y/N?”

“No, doctor.”

The clown laid in silence for hours while his broken lover did the same. Somehow Y/N built herself up again, preparing to head to dinner with her sister, and her voice was almost as clear as it had been before the session.

She keeps all of this inside… I didn’t even—

“Come on, little clown. Don’t eat dinner on the floor again.”

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

The Emperor of the Sea followed an usher to his seat, feeling high as he twirled the decorative arrow in his fingers. He was lucky to have made it in time, and luckier still that Y/N had looked at him like that. Shanks was sure that it wasn’t really lust in those magnetic eyes of hers. Buggy’s fallen star was difficult to read, but it had to be a message. An opening.

I’ll get you out of here, Y/N.

Even Benn’s smirking face couldn’t diminish the flames she’d warmed in him, his first mate pulling his seat out while he approached. The last few tables at the edge of the courtyard seemed filled with guests that were either late or large, the nearest competitor being the two story tall Prince Fukaboshi.

Before Shanks could greet his rival, Sylvad’s voice carried through the night air, testing the Emperor’s ability to fake a smile.

“Thank you all for joining our family as we celebrate the hunt for a new member! I am honored to help strengthen the Sylvad legacy by making sure that my enchanting niece finds the most loving, and of course, the most profitable match,” he admitted with a smug laugh. “Just as this marks the beginning of a new era for our family, I’m sure that most of you have sensed the shift in the waters.”

Cedrick paused for effect with Y/N posed like some pretty doll at his side while his guests murmured in agreement.

“For generations, the Sylvad’s have stood in enthusiastic support of the Marines. Although I still pay them an exorbitant amount to show up when I call, their many recent failures, and acts of overreaching, have shown them to be nothing more than expensive, and exceedingly annoying guard dogs.”

The laughter he drew was mixed, both nervous and pleased, and Shanks was sure he wasn’t the only one to catch the threat in those playful words.

“The world is changing, and I intend to keep my family strong, even if we have to shoo the seagulls away,” he vowed with enough humor to keep the mood light. “But enough about all that, we’re here to enjoy ourselves. Let’s welcome in the New Era together with a good old fashioned hunt!”

Confusion was clouded by the applause Cedrick had demanded with his gestures and tone after he offered Y/N a hand. Watching that man touch her had Shanks’ jaw clenching, holding himself back while she truly looked like prey under his smirking grin.

“I think our white stag is feeling a bit skittish, but that's nothing a little chase can't fix. The first hunter to catch her claims the first date!”

Shanks watched in horror as Cedrick led his niece to the edge of the courtyard, speaking to her too softly to hear before she ran toward the trees, stumbling in that fucking costume he’d stuffed her into.

Benn nudged his ankle, stopping Shanks from finishing his movement. Gryphon was on the ship anyway, and he wasn’t sure what use his sword would do other than to comfort his helpless soul.

I’m a villain now. Maybe I should just kill everyone here.

He chugged the glass of wine in front of him, as though swallowing the liquor could help him swallow the layers of guilt that made no sense to him.

The bright light of that wounded star disappeared into the trees, but there was no reprieve. A large, white canvas was rolled out over the side of the manor walls while servants pushed a massive transponder snail on a wheeled cart up the path. The courtyard was silent until the snail’s eyes flickered, its mouth open as sounds of heavy breathing and snapping twigs came through before the live feed was projected.

Two images appeared on that blank wall, bringing gasps and applause from the guests while Sylvad preened.

“In ten minutes,” he announced, doing a flourish as a timer popped up on the frantic screen, “the hunt for the white stag begins. The man that touches her first wins the hunt, and will earn the first private date tomorrow evening, as well as the pleasure of dining with the lovely doe tonight.”

The lovely doe in question was panting as she kicked off her heels, running barefoot through the woods. On the left was a jostled scene of darkness and trees, but as she looked down to lift her skirts, it was clear that a cam snail must be on her head, maybe hidden in those antlers. The second image continued to flip, showing her running and struggling through the brush from endless angles.

Does he have a surveillance snail on every fucking tree on this island?

“What a strange courtship custom,” Prince Fukaboshi noted quietly, although his size let the words carry enough for Shanks to let out a sharp laugh, smiling up at the merman to cover his anger before Sylvad continued.

“You may woo my niece however you like, so long as it doesn’t cause her unsalvageable harm, or remove her from this island. I won’t have my vacation home turned into a war zone, so do watch your violence. I know that some of you have had disagreements in the past, but let’s keep the fighting to a minimum unless it’s part of a game, alright lads? We wouldn’t want to spoil the fun for everyone.”

Leeches…

Servants came around to all the tables to take bets from the guests while the courtyard followed the white stag’s every, panicked step.

Hawk was right, this security is something else.

“This isn’t a dream.”

“Aww, isn’t she a darling,” a diamond-studded, older woman crooned, inspiring more guests to make noises about how precious she looked while she caught her breath, eyes blank as she leaned against a tree.

“You’re gonna catch that little bunny, aren’t ya, Captain?”

Shanks let out a breath, finally breathing, when he met his first mate’s gaze. Benn was steady, the curve of his lips and shine of his eyes hiding the intensity from those that didn’t know him, but his captain recognized the look.

It’s time to get serious.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~

Easy silence wrapped around the three men during dinner, interspersed with deep, hushed voices, and the scratching of Buggy’s pen while he doodled. He couldn’t help but feel thankful for the less noteworthy hours that had passed since his star had met with the doctor.

“Zala checked in,” Crocodile reported between bites. “Guess she wasn’t suited to the restaurant business after all.”

“That’s Miss Doublefinger, yes?”

“Not anymore,” he sighed at Mihawk’s question. “Zala used to work well with Daz Bonez, and she’s investigating Dr. Vorsan. Refused to help without bringing Marianne along though… Ms. Goldenweek.”

“The child,” Mihawk questioned, giving a gentle tilt to his head. His lover seemed to get touchy when his old organization was brought up.

“She’s eighteen now,” came the curt answer, although the larger man almost smiled at those damn, golden eyes.

“Uncle ChodeTick’s talking to her, taking a walk,” Buggy reported, guilt cutting them off before they could get too flirty. The clown scribbled his notes, the easy silence less easy now.

Mihawk’s lifetime of dedication to becoming the strongest did nothing for him now. All he could do was watch every subtle, pained expression on Buggy’s face while he suffered, the bravest of them all.

“The agents are infiltrating the asylum the doctor runs when he’s not fucking with our girl,” Crocodile shared, his voice hushed.

“Sending a teenager to infiltrate an insane asylum? You are ruthless, aren’t you,” Mihawk flirted lightly. He was learning this man, and for the first time he wasn’t making excuses about why. His tone paid off, and he smirked at the playful look on that scarred face.

“Marianne‘ll be fine, I’m sure she’s looking forward to art therapy. Plus, Zala will— what’s wrong, Buggy?”

The clown gestured for silence while his face went red with rage, listening to the rules, and the threats that her monster of an uncle was caging his star with.

“FUCK!!”

The nearly empty plates and glasses went flying as Buggy flipped the table, his body shaking in every direction, unable to sit with himself for another second.

“I’m pathetic! I can’t help her. I can’t fucking do ANYTHING!”

Crocodile and Mihawk caught as many pieces of him as they could, and wrapped themselves around Buggy until he breathed again, holding most of his body between them.

“Don’t say that, Buggy.”

“Shh, little clown. You’ve done enough.”

“He’s gonna make her…” Buggy barely managed to choke out the sound, glad that the asshole had left her alone already. One more word from his lips would have made the him explode.

Her words were worse though.

“She said she’s gonna fuck the ones she…” He cried out between their now stiff bodies. “He threatened her with… She has to…”

“She has to do what, Buggy,” Crocodile asked, amazed at how steady his voice was while he knelt down to meet the clown’s tired eyes. He kept his hand stroking along his side, that body slumping instead of flying apart now.

He couldn’t say it, exhaustion making the clown sway against Crocodile’s touch before he floated his hand toward the mess he’d made of the table. Mihawk caught the notepad, his eyes going apocalyptic as he read over Cedrick’s “rules” for the games.

The swordsman wanted to fly into violence and rage, to turn to ice, and make everything in his path disappear.

But Buggy’s eyes made him pause, the words on the page having too many consequences, too much weight.

“Buggy, she said this in anger, did she not? I doubt she’ll really—“

“You didn’t hear him,” Buggy snapped, starting to float and pace while Crocodile read the notes. The clown snatched the notepad off the floor after the scarred man dropped it, his hand shaking with rage.

“He’s twisted,” Buggy continued.

“He’s dead,” came a rough voice, the fury of a sandstorm barely contained in that vow.

“Yes, he is,” Mihawk promised as he reached for Buggy. He pushed that lovely, blue hair behind the remaining ear, almost smiling at the ear plug he found. “We will get her out of there, but we need you sane. If our little rabbit needs to take care of herself, we’ll find a way to keep you—“

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Buggy floated just out of reach, glaring down at the swordsman as though he’d started speaking some alien language.

“You shouldn’t have to listen to that, little clown,” Crocodile soothed, resting his own rage when he realized what Mihawk was saying. “If it happens, we’ll make it loud over here so you can’t hear, or you could—“

“You want me to shove my fingers in my ears while her screams echo through the halls,” Buggy hissed. His anger was building up around him, heating the air, strangling any sense of peace from the room as those old words hit their mark.

The two monsters under his glare froze, shame stunning them into silence.

“You think I said I’d rather watch you fuck my star into oblivion just for FUN,” he seethed, his eyes going manic while he floated above them. “I’m a sick fuck, and ended up having flashy, old time, but that’s not why I had to watch.”

He was that frightening showman again, and they were drawn into his act.

“I’m sorry, Bug—“

“I made myself watch while you took her from me,” he recalled in an almost sing-song voice that chilled the other men’s blood. “I watched and watched, because… I have to listen because…”

The crack in his own voice made him waver, dipping in the air a bit while he stared at the pained faces of these terrifying men.

“What if they hurt her?”

Silence clashed with the cacophony inside their minds until Crocodile reached toward the clown again, gripping into his shoulder, and sending fear flashing through him while their faces grew closer.

“We’ll kill them.”

“B-but–”

“Come on, brave, little clown,” Crocodile breathed over his trembling lips. “Why don’t you show me all your toys, huh? How many Buggy Balls would it take to blow up that whole fucking island if we need to?”

As they sighed, falling into the relief of distraction together, Mihawk sank against the wall, becoming nothing more than a threatening statue. He could have tried to grab onto the lifeline his lovers had just created, that comforting moment of camaraderie in violence while the clown indulged in and shared one of his favorite topics.

Yet, the swordsman couldn’t let it go.

His little rabbit, forced to bed her captors again.

She’s strong. She’s wicked. She’ll enjoy herself. Then we’ll get her back.

The fear that Y/N might enjoy herself enough to not want to return left Mihawk sick. He had to step outside, wandering down to the garden he’d barely thought of since she was no longer there to smell it on him.

He found himself fisting into the dirt in that walled garden, huffing a laugh when he smelled the faint, sour scent on his fingers before wiping them on his pants. Red flashed in his mind, and the ex-Warlord sat in the dirt, wishing that love and trust were as simple to cultivate as the garden he’d been too preoccupied to plant.

“I trust you,” Mihawk whispered to his red haired lover across the sea. The thought of how insufferable Shanks would be if he ever uttered those words in front of him brought a soft smile to his lips. “Please, bring her back. I need her by my side.”

~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Time was a human construct, and as your ungraceful body ran like the prey he had transformed you into, you couldn’t tell how long it took for the yells and crashes to race toward you.

Eternity.

One fucking second.

A clearing appeared before you, but as you stepped into the open space, an impossible man filled up your world. He knelt down, still towering over you, and all the sounds of chaos in the forest faded while his crimson eyes asked for permission.

Katakuri reached for you, his massive hand outstretched, but he didn’t grab you.

There was no way you could describe the subtle shift in those stunning eyes when you lifted your hand to take his, but they went wide before you made contact, his hand shooting out impossibly fast behind you. The giant of a man wasn’t fast enough, and cold fear poured through you before you had a warm body wrapped around yours from behind.

“I’ve got you, bunny,” Shanks purred, breathing a little hard as he pressed his lips against your ear. His arm was wrapped around you, holding you tight, as though you were a prize the others would try to tear from his grip.

You wished they would.

“If we were allowed to wear our raid suits we would have–”

“Don’t complain, brother,” a taunting voice floated through the trees while Shanks looked you over, never taking his hand off of you while he guided you through the trees. “We’ll have plenty more chances. Our little bride likes being hunted, remember? You heard what the old man said about the Cross–”

A strange noise left your throat when Shanks bent down to wrap his arm under your thighs, lifting you up over his shoulder before running too fucking fast. Running until you saw the lovely lanterns again, until the courtyard came into view.

Your own bedraggled image was spread across the outer wall of the manor, the huge snail showing two screens that flashed through replays of your pathetic race and capture. It showed a few highlights of the hunters, including Shanks smashing through what looked like a wall of giant crackers, and Iceburg crawling on the ground in the wrong direction. Now they displayed various angles of the winner carrying his prize.

Shanks was surreal. No one cheered for the slab of meat he’d claimed, not when the Emperor of the Sea looked like some dark god of the forest, a hero bringing home a feast to his starving people.

The image had you closing your eyes, playing into the exhaustion so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.

“Red Haired Shanks, everyone,” Uncle announced as he slowed the audience’s applause, and you opened your eyes to find him beside you, leading your captor to the head table. “The emperor has earned the first private date tomorrow evening, as well as the seat of honor tonight. I hope everyone worked up an appetite.”

I’m not here.

Both men had their hands on you while they propped you up between them, and you faced the courtyard to find the ravenous guests practically drooling over the sight of your torn and dirty dress. Thankfully your back was to the screen, so you didn’t have to keep watching yourself stumbling through the dark.

The stragglers made their way back, and your mind kept spacing, floating while your torturers chatted, until dinner arrived.

Servants carried a long stretch of table over the stone path, “ooh’s” and “aah’s” making you more nauseated the closer it got, until they laid out the mythical beast before you.

Your uncle had caught a white stag.

He had caught it, killed it, and was laughing while its dead eyes stared at you, its useless antlers like some tragic centerpiece. Uncle Cedrick ordered its flesh to be passed to every plate, so that each of his friends might share in his auspicious meal.

“Here’s to those with the heart of a hunter,” he toasted. “May your arrows always hit their mark.”

Every bite they took tore through your own skin, the slow prey gone still while the pack of wolves enjoyed their meal. An animal again, your mind was incapable of reason or words, but even the soul of the deer could feel this truth pulsing deep within the bones that the monsters hadn’t yet picked clean.

You would not survive this. They were going to devour you whole.

~~~

“Y/N? Sis? Are you okay?”

Some part of you that only existed for your sister reacted to the worry in her voice, blinking up at her while she carefully pulled the antlers off of your head. Another image of the deer’s mutilated body flashed through your mind as you watched her hold them to her chest before turning away, hurrying toward the door. You stared, thoughts thankfully leaving your mind while she threw the cursed antlers down the corridor.

“Are you okay,” she checked in again when she returned her gentle fingers to your hair.

“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, voice coming out raw. “Where is everyone?”

“I’ll get you cleaned up,” Kat assured. Her sharp eyes were wider than normal, but your urge to comfort her couldn’t break through your exhaustion, your delirium. “I didn’t think you’d want all the servants around.”

Gratitude swelled with the lump in your throat while Kat’s soft fingers transformed you, bringing you back to humanity.

“I’m sorry he’s still such an asshole to you,” your sister breathed, starting to clean the scrapes that littered your legs and feet. “Running through the forest like… You’re getting married, not hunted. He didn’t need to make it so… I’m sorry.”

“Married,” you gave a tired laugh, closing your eyes before you went down the spiral. A hiss left your lips, your body jolting when she dabbed at a particularly unpleasant scrape.

“I’m going to call Dr. Gilli,” Kat announced, stopping you from digging your nails into your thighs. “No one else, and I’ll stay with you, okay?”

“No pills. No shots,” you ordered, too frantic to care about holding it in.

“Of course not,” she sighed when your breathing started to calm. “I just don’t want to be responsible for your legs falling off from infection. Is that alright with you, sis?”

“Fine.” The slight teasing Kat had managed to put in her tone made your lips twitch, but that hint of relief took all of your energy. Your sister stayed with you, holding your hand while the family doctor looked you over.

Dr. Gilli had always been sweet to you, but the sight of your blood on her gloves while she gushed about how beautiful you looked, and how lucky you were to have such a romantic engagement, made you want to kick that sweet face in.

“Thank you, doctor,” Kat frowned, shooing the woman out just in time before you punched her in the throat for asking you about babies.

Kat helped you into bed, crawling in beside you like you were kids again.

You used to be the big sister. Four years had always felt like such a big gap, especially with everything you had tried to protect her from.

Until you couldn’t even protect yourself, and Kat had to become the big sister.

Gratitude and guilt over that fact could never balance out, and as much as you loved her and needed her right now, you ached for her to leave so you could break down.

Instead, slow tears stained your pillowcase while her comforting presence held you in a quiet cage.

“It’s only a month,” she whispered while she stroked your hair. “We’re going to find the best husband for you, and then you’ll take over the company. I know it’s scary, but I believe in you, Y/N, just like dad did… I know you’re ready, and I’ll be right here with you.”

Kat’s misplaced trust froze you for what felt like hours, but somehow you fell asleep. Your name echoed through a storm while you watched the wolves tear into her flesh, helpless to keep your sister from the starving beasts.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

For a split second upon waking on the morning of the banquet, Buggy’s first thought hadn’t been panic for her absence, but a hum of pleasure at the warmth surrounding him.

Guilt sent him flying into pieces to escape Crocodile and Mihawk’s arms, and they blinked up at him as though they’d forgotten her too. Buggy only relaxed when he saw the reality of the day harden their faces.

Another day full of hushed voices, and waiting. Scribbled notes, and stifled comfort. Fear, and an unsteady hope that Shanks would be the hero again.

~~~

“What’s this,” Buggy growled at the wide eyed, young pirate that had set down a bright blue cocktail on Y/N’s desk. He’d found himself sitting there tonight, updating the other men while the suitors were introduced, and he closed his eyes to stay focused on the muffled voices.

The clown had started to panic earlier when his star was told to leave her locket behind, almost losing her because his gift didn’t fit the “theme.” She must have stuffed it into her dress from the way her heart thumped even louder within him, and he coughed to fight the heat in his throat.

I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.

“You like sweet drinks, don’t you?”

Buggy jolted, pretending that surprised squeak hadn’t just left his throat before he met Crocodile’s eyes across the room.

“Y-yeah,” Buggy frowned, but he avoided the collection of garnishes and tiny umbrellas to take a sip from the curly straw. He found the taste of pineapple, coconuts, and sooo much sugar, covering up the rum that he most definitely needed. “Thanks.”

The scarred man raised a brow, and Mihawk’s soft chuckle from his own desk added to the shiver going up Buggy's spine.

They’re trying to distract me…

“Thanks, daddy,” Buggy corrected, almost smiling at that frightening, but pleased face until her voice filled with hope.

‘Mr. Iceburg?’

“Mr. Iceburg,” he repeated while her heart went wild.

“Iceburg,” Crocodile asked quietly, looking at his own notes. “From Galley La? He wasn’t on the list…”

“She knows him already,” Buggy reported. He tried to let it mean nothing. “She likes him.”

“Of course, Sylvad’s has had ties with Water 7 for generations,” Crocodile nodded, rubbing his hand over his face.

“She may like him, but she loves you,” Mihawk startled him as he appeared beside her desk. “Don’t forget.”

“I’d never forget that,” Buggy snapped, sighing when wicked fingers teased over his tense shoulders, helping him focus.

He focused on her breath, her heart, while she met all the men vying to touch her, to take her. He focused on trying not to freak out the longer the night went on without hearing that familiar, heroic voice. Their best chance.

“Something’s wrong,” Buggy rasped, hardly hearing Crocodile's chair thump onto the new carpet over the deafening silence of his star forgetting to breathe. It seemed like her heart had stopped beating, until her uncle’s grating voice came through, and then it pounded like a bird smashing itself against a window to try to escape.

“The clothes suit you well, Emperor.”

“I had no idea that fashionable friends could be so generous,” Shanks charmed, his voice a miracle. “Or that I’d have the pleasure of meeting such a gorgeous, little bunny again so soon. Sorry, you're a gorgeous, little doe, aren’t you?”

“It’s Shanks,” Buggy shared, almost jealous of the relief that washed over their faces before he closed his eyes to the world again.

Shanks played the roguish pirate to perfection, and Buggy had no notes for his performance. Even muffled, Sylvad’s voice was clearly satisfied, eating up the Emperor’s words.

“Red Hair made it? He’s a suitor?”

The soft questions ripped Buggy’s eyes open, and the relief he still saw there made him sick.

“She hates him.”

“What do you–”

“Who does she–”

“She HATES SHANKS!”

Buggy didn’t notice when he’d flown into pieces, but he floated erratically before them, trying to understand, trying to explain.

“How… She didn’t say that out loud, did she,” Mihawk asked after a pause, studying his movements.

“Why would she hate him,” Crocodile mused. His silver eyes stripped him down as he stepped too close.

“How the fuck would I know,” Buggy yelled, horror filling his veins at the way her heart seemed to fight itself in its cage. “This is how she sounds when she’s with Uncle ShitFuck, or that fucking doctor! She hates Shanks. She HATES HIM! What are we gonna do?”

“Shh, shh, darling,” Mihawk breathed, catching Buggy’s face in both hands while his body still flew through the air. “Y/N thought he was going to steal you from her. If she hasn’t forgiven him, then we’ll just have to find another way.”

“But she–”

Every floating piece of him stuttered in the air when cruel lips kissed his so sweetly.

“I am long overdue for a hunting trip,” the swordsman teased over his skin, twisting those wicked fingers into his hair. “Having all three of us here is a waste. I’ll go thin out the competition.”

“No.”

The refusal was deep, yet gentle, and that scarred face towered over them both while Crocodile tugged at Mihawk’s chin.

“We’re not doing that. We can’t go against her wishes, not until we know why she’s doing this.”

Buggy felt pain searing behind his eyes while he tried to listen to two things at once: Cedrick Sylvad’s speech, and the moral dilemma of these ex-Warlords.

“I agree,” Mihawk said evenly, barely sparing a glance while Buggy brought his body back together beside him. “But these men want our little rabbit, and her illustrious name for their own reasons. If it’s possible to convince the worst of them to drop out, then we should try.”

“Are you running away again,” Crocodile sighed, the pressure in the air making Buggy want to sink to the floor.

“Don’t worry, daddy,” Mihawk purred, expertly slicing through all the tension in the room. “I have a spare earpiece snail, so you can scold me all you like while I’m away.”

‘Did you hear me,’ Cedrick seemed to hiss at Buggy, swimming in guilt for falling into the distraction of the men before him.

“Chase?”

“What is it,” Mihawk checked in, scanning his face.

“No,” the clown paused, more endless horror pouring into him. He had to step away, the sounds of her panic while she raced through the woods sending him into helpless rage. The other men let him feel into it, until he rounded on them again.

“They’re hunting her like an animal,” Buggy seethed, flinching at the sound of his star falling, panting, pushing herself on. “She’s terrified, she’s– Fuck this!”

A wave of sand hit the door before Crocodile blocked his path, only fueling that need to protect her.

“Marines on call. Germa Kingdom. Big Mom Pirates. Fishman royalty. And we still don’t know what kind of security forces Sylvad keeps on the island, not to mention whatever the Concealer keeps around him, or the President of Galley La,” the larger man listed, his voice firm, but going soft when he touched Buggy’s cheek. “The second you hear our sweet girl ask for help, or say that she doesn’t wanna be there, I will drain them all to dust… but we still don’t know what he has on her. She told us she wanted to go.”

‘This isn’t a dream…’

In a trance, the clown let the other men lead him to that flashy, green couch, his notepad and fruity drink set up on the new coffee table while he slumped into her spot between them.

“Shanks got her,” he reported, unable to share in their relief with the sound of her strangled breaths so loud in his head. He could barely hear a thing in her world now, the muffled voices beyond theirs were too difficult to make out, especially when another heartbeat filled his mind. His old friend must have been carrying her, and the sound of both of their hearts pounding so close made his gloves damp when he rubbed at his tired eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Mihawk tugged at him gently until Buggy curled in against his exposed chest. The swordsman didn’t recoil from the faded paint, or the hot tears that streaked down his skin the longer the clown let himself stay there. “If our little rabbit doesn’t trust our hero, then we’ll just convince the rest of the suitors to give up the hunt.”

“Try not to start any wars, little prince,” Crocodile hummed, setting his massive hand over Mihawk’s where it was resting on Buggy’s thigh.

“War is tedious. I am looking forward to a peaceful life,” Mihawk vowed, stroking Buggy’s hair while the man let exhaustion relax him deeper into his lap. “We just need to retrieve our lovers first.”

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“Oh sweetie, you look so–”

“Take a bite.”

Mom’s too shiny smile hardened slightly before she tasted your oatmeal, avoiding the servants that hovered around you in clouds of makeup and hair spray.

“You’re about to have brunch with your suitors,” she reminded you when you snatched the food from her, practically inhaling it before more pencils or brushes could touch your lips. “Don’t you think it will look strange if you don’t eat with them?”

“You don’t seem to care how strange it looks to sell off your own daughter,” you laughed, noticing a servant’s eyes widen just a fraction when they took your empty bowl. “I’m cooperating, but I will not be leaving my food or drinks unattended until I feel safer. You want your child to feel safe, don’t you, mother?”

“I found some,” Kat beamed when she barged through the door, waving a deck of playing cards above her head. She tossed it to you, and you gasped, surprised that you caught it from the air before it could hit one of the staff. Thankfully, the full skirted dress you’d been stuffed into this morning had pockets, so you tucked your little game away, forcing your mom to taste the rest of your breakfast before the brunch dates began.

But Kat was making that face. Little sister face.

“What’s that,” you gestured toward the item she had tried to conceal when she sat across from you, tucking it behind her body.

“Just some trash I found in the hall. Do you want some more coffee?”

“Give it,” you ordered, giving her big sister face.

“It’s nothing we didn’t already know, okay? So just…”

“At least I’m not the only one being used,” a sharp laugh left your throat. “How much berry do you think he’s making off of this game?”

Mom ordered the staff to leave before leaning toward Kat, and didn’t whisper quietly enough on her way out.

“Brunch is about to start. Make sure she looks presentable.”

“Can’t sell me off if I'm not pretty, can you?”

“Y/N,” she started, looking convincingly hurt, but Kat got her out of the room before either of you could make it worse.

You stared at the “trash” in your lap, the crisp scent of expensive ink and paper filling your lungs while you examined the brochure.

‘Which Hunter Will Claim Her?’

That tantalizing question was scrawled across every page, while the nine suitors each had their own section, their profile, their face, and a stupid little quote about winning you. This barbaric game was disguised behind a snooty font spread over images of dappled sunlight through Sylvad trees, and decorated with arrows and leaves.

Cedar leaves.

You wanted to tear it to shreds, but you were pulled in, studying every detail.

~~~~~~

Giberson

Age: Couldn’t Recall

Height: Misplaced Measurements

Birthday: August 14th

Title: “Warehouseman”

Favorite Food: Rye Whiskey

How he plans to win: “I’m sure the lovely lady and I will have a delightful time. You don’t get to be my age without learning a few tricks.”

Ichiji

Age: 21

Height: 186 cm (6'1")

Birthday: March 2

Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom

Favorite Food: Strawberries and Whiskey

How he plans to win: "I’m a Vinsmoke."

Niji

Age: 21

Height: 185 cm (6'1")

Birthday: March 2nd

Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom

Favorite Food: Blueberries and Scotch

How he plans to win: “She’s coming with us. If I don’t win, there’s two more Vinsmoke’s.”

Yonji

Age: 21

Height: 194 cm (6'4")

Birthday: March 2

Title: Prince of the Germa Kingdom

Favorite Food: Green Peas

How he plans to win: “I wouldn’t mind ending up with a woman like her, so I’m gonna turn her into a princess.”

Iceburg

Age: 40

Height: 199 cm (6'6")

Birthday: January 3

Title: President of the Galley-La Company, and Mayor of Water 7

Favorite Food: Curry Made by an Old Friend. A Drunk, Old Friend.

How he plans to win: “Mm, well... I suppose I’ll win because I know her best.”

Fukaboshi

Age: 24

Height: 604 cm (19’10”)

Birthday: February 4th

Title: Prince of the Ryugu Kingdom

Favorite Food: Abalone Steak

How he plans to win: “I hope that she carries peace in her heart. If she does, I will stop at nothing to earn her love.”

Cracker

Age: 45

Height: 307 cm (10'1")

Birthday: February 28th

Title: Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates, and the Minister of Biscuit

Favorite Food: Biscuits. Dislikes Kimchi and Carbonated Drinks.

How he plans to win: “Easy. I’ll outdo them all.”

Katakuri

Age: 48

Height: 509 cm (16'8½")

Birthday: November 25th

Title: Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates, and the Minister of Flour

Favorite Food: Doughnuts. Dislikes hot ramen.

How he plans to win: “I will win because I must.”

Shanks

Age: 39

Height: 199 cm (6'6")

Birthday: March 9

Title: Emperor of the Sea

Favorite Food: Kimchi Fried Rice and Lobster. Dislikes Blueberries.

How he plans to win: “Just gonna show the cutie a good time.”

~~~~~~

‘Make Your Bets Now!’

Kat was right. You knew that the audience was enjoying the game, gambling while you just tried to survive, trying to secure the least abhorrent future that you could.

“Venison…”

“Heeyyy,” Kat fumbled through positivity as she pulled the brochure from your white-knuckled grip. “At least we know how tall they are now!”

“I love you,” you thanked her, amazed that you could still laugh.

~~~

“Such pretty, little fingers… I hope I pass your test.”

“It’s not a test,” you lied, shuffling cards instead of tearing the old man’s eyes out. “Just a game.”

“It has to be the Queen of Hearts,” Giberson winked over his Bloody Mary.

“It’s the Four of Diamonds.”

“So you are choosing the next winner,” he scolded lightly when your prediction was revealed.

“How could I possibly choose when I have so many charming options,” you reminded him as you pushed the deck across the table so he could shuffle for himself. You weren’t ready to pick and choose between these hunters. There’d been no time to feel them out.

So they had to guess.

The lighthearted brunch felt anything but with so many eyes on your skin, especially with Uncle’s giant projector snail that blew up your image across the building again. All the smaller snails circled around you, their slow, unreal eyes reminding you how trapped you were.

Always trapped.

“That’s alright, dear. Making decisions is tough, isn’t it? I’ve been hearing about what a smart girl you are though! So, what’s the card?”

The old man’s condescension was so typical, you were contemplating rooting for him, just so you could end up with a predictable partner.

“Jack of Hearts,” you smiled after counting down twenty two cards out loud, yet again.

“Whew, that sure is something,” Giberson waved the Jack of Hearts he’d revealed, making sure the rest of the guests could see while he bragged about you, as though your skills were somehow reflective of his own talents.

As though he already owned you.

“You shuffled,” you teased, guiding him to set up the trick one more time. “Can you guess the card?”

“Queen of Hearts,” he winked again.

Gross. At least he might die soon, that’s a plus.

~~~

“You look beautiful this morning, Y/N,” the firstborn Vinsmoke brother purred when he took Giberson’s seat.

Every moment was on full display for the other suitors, and for the guests that had stayed on the island for the entertainment. It seemed that the courtyard was to be your new realm, with plenty of space for your much taller dates to join you at your little breakfast table that was set up on a slightly elevated platform.

A stage.

“Thank you, Prince Ichigi. You’re looking quite well yourself.”

Fuck.

It wasn’t a lie, and your pulse sped at the smug smile he gave when he tilted his head down to examine you over his dark, red glasses.

There was something dangerous in that smile, and the fact that he didn’t even try to hide it made you pause, not sure how best to deal with this entitled prince.

“What does our lovely bride enjoy when she’s not being chased,” Ichiji purred, already claiming you with his words. His sunglasses did little to hide his eyes as they raked over your skin.

“I enjoy numbers. Mathematics,” you almost squeaked. Heat rose up to your cheeks while you started to shuffle the cards, noticing the number “1” embroidered on his maroon cloak while you explained the goal of the card trick.

“Seven of Clubs.”

“I’m sorry, Prince Ichiji, you’re wrong again.”

You had to risk a small sip from your untested water glass to fight the dryness on your tongue.

“That’s alright,” Ichiji teased, nodding at the sound of bells marking his time. “That’s why my family always brings numbers.”

“My turn, brother,” the blue haired prince announced as he clapped him on the shoulder.

“Be nice to our little princess, Niji,” he ordered, pressing your knuckles to his lips before heading back toward the rest of his family.

“Of course,” your new date smirked, leaning back in his chair with his hands clasped behind that blue head of hair.

The large spikes and swoops of his hairstyle covered one of his eyes under his gold sunglasses, hiding one of the eyebrows that you kept trying not to glance at. The three brothers shared an odd curl to the ends of their brows, You couldn’t tell if it was a cosmetic choice, but didn’t want to risk insulting such powerful men in case they were sensitive about it.

“Don’t tell me my brother already wore you out,” he clicked his tongue, snapping you out of your memories.

“I’m so sorry, Prince Niji, I must still be tired from the banquet. What were you saying?”

“Fetch our little bride some coffee,” he snapped at the nearest servant, banging lightly on the table until the dishes rattled.

His harsh tone was almost enough to make you forget your precautions, but you had enough to worry about without the uncertainty of who prepared your drink.

That curly brow raised with satisfied surprise when you rested your hand over his, his lips parting while he ate up your act.

“Would you mind sharing your coffee, Prince Niji? I’d hate to waste any more of our time waiting to wake up.”

“What’s mine is yours, princess,” Niji purred. He caught your hand as you pulled away, and you let him hold it while you drank from his mug. His coffee was unbelievably sweet.

Stop. Don’t think about…

“Thank you,” you hummed, swallowing the heat in your throat while you tried to not to look at his blue hair with that practically syrupy coffee still on your tongue. “Will you help me with a little trick?”

~~~

“It’s up to you, little brother,” Niji reported when his time ran out.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been watching these pretty hands,” Yonji assured him, kissing your fingers before he sat down. His dark eyes seemed fierce without colored glasses to hide them, and his green hair was slicked back instead of swooping up and out like his older brothers. He wasn’t hiding his interesting features.

“So you think you know the trick,” you challenged, giving him a chance.

“I think I’ll win your heart,” he swooned, and the sappy look on his face made your hands fumble while you shuffled the deck.

He focused intently now as you laid them out, and revealed certain cards, counting down to the guess.

“What card is—“

“Three of Spades,” he blurted out. “What’s your guess?”

“Three of Clubs.”

“Again.”

The youngest prince refused your small talk, avoiding your gaze until his final guess.

“King of Hearts,” Yonji beamed, puppy dog eyes finally on your face again. “What’s your guess, princess?”

Would it be weird to marry Kat’s favorite?

You didn’t glance at your sister, but knew she’d be watching while the green haired prince scored the first point, hearts practically floating around his head when you revealed the card.

“I told you, princess,” Yonji vowed as he stole a quick peck to your cheek. “I’ll be the one to win your heart.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~⚫~~~

The man that had won your heart beamed when he saw you gazing up at him. His blue hair seemed to glow in the sun, but nothing could gleam like those strong arms, slick with sweat while he climbed down the ropes to meet you on the deck of the ship.

“Oh my, look at you,” Iceburg hummed, tying a bandana over his hair to catch that salty water before it dripped down his face. You stared at those gorgeous, purple tattoos that crawled down his shoulders and arms before he patted the top of your head. “Where’s your dad hiding?”

“He had to take a call, but I helped him write this proposal, so he said I could bring it to you,” you squirmed, handing him the file.

“He’s got you working at thirteen,” he whistled, taking the document while he shook his head.

“I’m fourteen now,” you declared.

You couldn’t keep yourself from rolling onto your toes a bit, lifting your chin in hopeful challenge.

“You’re gonna be running things soon, huh,” he smirked.

Mind going absolutely blank under his attention, you just gaped at him like a fucking creep.

“This ship’s almost finished.” Iceburg leaned close, knocking on the railing behind you. “Would you like a tour? It is your family’s wood that makes it so strong, after all.”

“I– Are you sure? I’ll be fine waiting if you need to get back to work. You don’t need to watch me.”

The desire to follow him around like a puppy was overpowered by the distaste at him feeling the need to babysit you, but the look on his face made you laugh, forgetting it all.

“I don’t wanna go back to work,” the handsome shipwright complained, scrunching up his face in a pout that rivaled your sister’s. “I’d rather show you around, and grab some lunch when your dad gets here. Can we?”

“Okay!”

~~~

This gorgeous, lovely man knew more about Sylvad wood than most of dad’s executives. Listening to him talk about it always made you happy, knowing that your family was part of something so important, so loved.

Iceburg led you through the ship, telling you how he had worked each piece of lumber, how it all moved with the wind and the waves, even guiding you to slide your hand along the trees your family had grown, smooth and silky to the touch after he’d treated them.

“Beautiful, isn’t it,” he praised softly, watching your hand against the wood before pulling a pen from his toolbelt. “Well, let’s go get some food, girlie. You can tell your dad what a great job you did presenting your proposal.”

“But you didn’t even read it,” you blurted out, shocked when he pressed the document against a wall to sign his name.

“You and Arbo are good people, plus you’ve got the best lumber in the world,” he laughed while he led you up the stairs toward the sound of footsteps. “I trust you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Iceburg… but you just agreed to build a small fleet to expand our shipping operations in the East Blue. Are you sure you’ll have time for that while you help Tom finish the sea train? Hi, daddy!”

“There’s my girl,” your dad grinned, kissing your temple when you joined him on the deck. “Make any deals without me?”

Iceburg handed the document over, waving his own copy in your direction. Your skin flushed with heat again when he snuck you a wink while your dad glanced at his signature.

“She’s very convincing. You’ll be able to retire in no time if she keeps this up.”

He was the perfect man. Strong, kind, silly, sweet, and so painfully hot, it drove you mad. You’d had a few crushes on your classmates over the last couple of years, but nothing compared to the way you felt when Iceburg looked at you like that.

“I don’t doubt it,” your dad praised. He wrapped his arm around the shipwright’s shoulders, nodding his head toward the docks. “Is Kokoro still making that delightful curry?”

“I’ll never let her stop,” Iceburg laughed while he led the way. “Tom should be over there too, let’s go grab some lunch and catch up.”

“Sounds perfect. Do you want to come, sweetheart?”

~~~⚫~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

He’s not who I thought he was. He’s a creep. Another leech trying to latch on and drain as much berry from me as he can. Don’t forget.

You were pathetic, getting flustered while he watched your hands, his calm voice taking away all your caution.

“I have to apologize,” Iceburg hummed while you shuffled.

“Why is that?”

“Mm, well,” he looked down at his striped jacket while he patted his pocket. “I left Tyrannosaurus with my secretary. I didn’t think bringing a pet would be… I should be more focused on you.”

“What do you— oh!”

The cards scattered across the table when you jumped, laughter sneaking out of you.

“This is Velociraptor,” Iceburg announced as a field mouse crawled out of his breast pocket. “I found him during the chase, I hope it’s alright to have pets during our stay. Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine, sorry,” you recovered from losing yourself in that laughter before gathering the cards again. Your eyes were still watering when you watched the cute creature dive back into his pocket after a few soft pets from his strong fingers. “Can you guess the card?”

“Oh my,” his brows furrowed, watching your waiting hands. “I really need to pay attention, don’t I? I’d love to spend some more time with you.”

He leaned forward, his height making him tower over you at the little table, and you found yourself blinking up at him.

Forgetting.

“I…”

“Is it the Seven of Clubs?”

“No, Mr… No, Iceburg.”

~~~

Prince Fukaboshi was led through the courtyard by a few attendants, both fishmen and mermen featured amongst the group. He looked down at you, mouth opening to speak before Uncle’s voice carried over.

“Why don’t we give our hunter a closer look?”

Grabbing onto the edge of the table took all of your focus, and you knew that your fake smile fell when you started moving through the air. The ground flew away, the wooden platform beneath you rising up toward the prince, gentle surprise on his face.

The snails on the table didn’t seem phased by the change in elevation, and it was hard to pretend they didn’t exist while they slowly shifted positions to better capture you and your date for the audience below.

You decided not to look down to determine what kind of contraption had lifted you so high, instead looking at the prince before you. Fukaboshi took up your entire field of vision, and it was easy to see the concern on his expansive face.

“Are you alright, Miss Sylvad?”

His teeth look so sharp…

“Please, Prince Fukaboshi,” you trembled, focusing on the cards as much as you could, “call me Y/N. Can you guess the— oh, I’m sorry, are you familiar with these sorts of playing cards?”

You were barely hanging on. He spoke, he guessed, and you could feel the rumble of his voice even though your mind wasn’t quite letting it in. Your body performed without you, your lips reciting words that carried no meaning.

“This courtship custom is unlike any I have seen before,” the prince frowned while you set up the cards for the last guess. “Since it is all strange to me, I couldn’t be certain, but…”

The pause was long enough for you to meet his eyes, so large, and filled with what looked like compassion.

No.

“Miss Y/N, I am seeking your hand so that my people can gain protection and resources so that they never suffer the cruelty and humiliation of slavery again,” Fukaboshi declared. The snails on the table lowered their eyes, but his voice boomed too loud to hide.

Bells.

“That is—“

“I never want to see anyone treated the way my sister was by those monsters at the Reverie.”

“Monsters?”

The dangerous question barely made it past your lips before the platform jolted, slowly bringing you down, away from his determined face while the bells kept ringing.

“Are you being held against your will? I cannot abide another moment of this if you are being used like a pet for their amusement.”

“N-no,” you panicked, craning your neck to see him while you shook your head, hands pleading, voice dripping with lies. “You are so kind, thank you, Prince Fukaboshi! I’m sorry, I must seem scared, but I’m just nervous. This is all a bit overwhelming, but I promise I am glad to be here!”

“Your turn’s over, Prince. You heard the girl.”

Cracker’s manic smile appeared as the table sank to the ground. It felt like your frantic heart had been left in the sky, floating up there with those huge, concerned eyes.

“Thank you, Prince Fukaboshi,” you beamed, feeling forever selfish at the temptation.

I can’t risk a stranger, a whole kingdom. I’m not worth it.

Neither of us would make it out alive anyway.

“It has been my honor,” he said evenly, though his eyes were scanning the crowd now, a new tension held within his enormous, warrior’s body.

The snails woke up, those slow moving eyes reminding you that the show must go on.

“You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry?”

Cracker sat down, and the platform probably should have lifted a bit as the shirtless man was closer to your reality, but he was still even taller than…

You had to stop comparing these men to your daydreams.

“Eight of Diamonds… Damn,” he brushed off his loss before looming over you. His dark, brown glove was softer than you expected it to be when he cupped your cheek, almost the whole side of your face.

“You understand family duties, don’t you?”

All you could do was nod under the wild look he gave you.

He’s fucking unstable.

“That’s good. Family is everything.”

Is he flirting?

A dangerous giggle almost escaped, but you kept it in, smiling sweetly while he failed every guess.

The bells finally rang out, but they couldn’t save you from his last words, his promise.

“Our family needs you, Y/N. I don’t care if you’re my wife or my sister, I’ll protect you with my life.”

~~~

This time you were grateful for the moving platform, a reason to look away from Cracker’s confident face. The true reason for the movement came into view, his brother waiting patiently for you to settle just below his eye level.

Those eyes…

Charlotte Katakuri was too fucking tall. Too fucking scary. Crimson eyes assessed you, his arched brows and sharp nose not nearly harsh enough to distract from those thick, dark lashes of his.

He’s too fucking pretty.

Now that you were this close, you could see scars on both of his cheeks. They led down toward his mouth, still concealed by that massive scarf. Prince Fukaboshi’s sharp teeth came to mind when you wondered what he could be hiding, so you shuffled and shuffled, trying to think about anything else.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N,” his polite voice made you shiver, seeming to vibrate the elevated stage you were perched on.

“Same to you, Katakuri,” your voice shook. You couldn’t afford to show this much fear. Predators always looked for weak prey. “Would you mind helping me with a little trick?”

“If that’s what you wish,” he agreed. There was no way to tell if the hint of a smile you heard in his voice was truly hidden beneath his scarf, but it set you on edge, nonetheless.

“Can you guess the card?”

“It’s the Ten of Hearts.”

He stated it as if it were true, as if he were simply remarking on the weather around him.

And it was true. You’d known it before you revealed it, this simple math trick like the comforting rhythm of a familiar heartbeat.

“You’re right,” you breathed when you turned it over. “Care to go again?”

Katakuri nodded slowly, but his eyes never left your face, ignoring the cards on the table until you asked for his next guess.

“The Queen of Hearts.”

“Yes. Have you seen this trick before?”

“In a way,” came his cryptic response. “Shall we go again?”

He definitely wasn’t paying attention to the cards. Those stunning eyes were so fucking intense as they bore into your skin that you almost forgot to do the math before you asked for his next guess.

Then you wished you had forgotten.

“What’s the–”

“Shuffle again.”

“But you haven’t–”

You stopped breathing when one of his giant hands shot toward you, his fingers sooo fucking big when he laid them over yours.

Delicate. This giant was gentle when he covered your hands, covered the cards, practically covered half the little table.

“This card makes you sad,” he whispered, though there was no point with all the surveillance, and with his booming voice at the center of attention. But still, he whispered. “Why don’t you shuffle again?”

Fuck. fuckfuckfuck. Stop.

There you go. Just smile.

A small miracle let you slip out of your body, out of your mind, while you shuffled the unrevealed Six of Spades back into the deck.

Katakuri was still quiet, still watching. So polite while he guessed the right card, letting you pull yourself back together.

Hiding all the struggle behind your Sylvad smile.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he touched your hand again when the platform started to lower. “I’m looking forward to our next meeting.”

You hadn’t noticed the bells.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🤡🗡️~~~

“When are you leaving?”

“There’s no point in waiting,” Mihawk avoided the larger man’s eyes. “The sooner I convince the competition to back out, the sooner Y/N will be free of them.”

“Yeah, but how,” Buggy sighed from his lap, the swordsman’s skilled fingers nearly dragging him down to sleep already. “How the fuck are you gonna convince these assholes that they don’t wanna marry her? She’s perfect! Plus, they get in on that stupid company, and get whatever other bullshit DickHole is selling. What can you do besides poke ‘em with your fancy stick?”

“That’s what I plan to find out,” Mihawk smiled, though the finality in his tone was enough.

“Come on, Buggy,” Crocodile nudged his legs aside, offering the clown his hand while he stared at their determined lover. “Let’s remind our little bird why he should fly back home when he’s done pecking people’s eyes out.”

Buggy let out an exhausted giggle while Mihawk shivered, his eyes rolling back just a bit. Just enough.

“You thought you could run away that easily, huh,” Crocodile threatened with his words, and with the tip of his hook below that sculpted chin.

More guilt almost tore the clown away while he watched them, but Buggy chugged his sugary drink, grateful for the quiet of faraway sleep. He started to pull the swordsman up by the collar of his frighteningly fancy jacket, and that arched brow was an instinctual warning.

The clown heeded the warning, loosening his grip on the jacket, only to yank the man off the couch by his hair. Crocodile joined in on his smug laughter, roughly pulling Mihawk against him before he’d stopped moaning from the unexpected pain.

“You’re not leaving tonight.”

Heavy.

Whatever they held between them felt heavier than either had expected.

“I’ll go get the bed ready,” Buggy sighed as he half floated toward the door, “but I’ll need another drink if you guys take too long.”

~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🐊🗡️🐊~~~

“Are you alright?”

Mihawk laughed at the question, and Crocodile wanted to shake him. He was sick of seeing his lovers fall apart right in front of him, with nothing he could do, or even understand.

He ached to understand this man. They had faced each other in battle just a few years ago, but that Summit War felt like a fever dream now.

Not that this new life didn't feel like a dream.

This man…

Crocodile kept getting him. Meeting him in ways that both surprised, and soothed him.

Mihawk laughed again at the thought of new vocabulary, but Crocodile pulled him close.

“I’m not ready to lose my business partner,” Crocodile confessed, the words too heavy for the smirk he tried to give.

The words were enough.

Mihawk laid his deadly fingers along that silk vest, silently asking for a kiss while he stared up at the taller man.

The swordsman felt like a fraud.

How could someone like him that had carried nothing for so long be filled with so much? He didn’t want to lie anymore than he already had.

Crocodile gave him what he wanted. A heavy kiss.

“Let’s not keep our clown waiting,” Crocodile rasped, tracing his thumb along Mihawk’s sharp features.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

~~~🗡️🐊🗡️🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~

They’re holding hands…

Crocodile and Mihawk had called through the door, all of their hands occupied until Mihawk handed the slack-jawed clown another cocktail.

“Nice room service,” Buggy tried to recover.

“Come here, little clown.”

The scarred man let go of one lover to reach for another. Cupping his hand along Buggy’s jaw, with those large fingers combing into the hair at the back of his neck, Crocodile breathed down on him until he was nodding, red lips still parted.

“I haven’t been giving you enough attention,” Crocodile purred, squeezing his face lightly when Buggy tried to argue. “But it looks like we’re gonna have plenty of alone time soon. Plenty of time for me to spoil you.”

“Y-yup! Lots of…”

“Is that what you want?”

“Sure, whatever you say, bos— Yes, daddy.”

“Good boy.”

Buggy disconnected at the ankles to float up into Crocodile’s deep kiss. He nearly spilled his drink before the larger man lowered him down again, eyes dark and satisfied while he watched his clown.

“You deserve more attention, but you handled him so well. Help me remind—“

“Let’s fuck him up, daddy!”

Buggy downed his drink with one hand while the other snuck past Crocodile’s body to wrap around Mihawk’s throat.

“You do know that I’m still Dracule Mihawk, don’t you?”

Wicked fingers dug into the floating hand, dragging it down his own chest while he resisted.

“Whatcha gonna do, Hawkeyes? Stab me? Slice me,” Buggy laughed, setting down his glass before sending his other hand.

Crocodile started to undress, chuckling softly at his boys.

The air shifted as danger, delicious danger, poured from the swordsman while he leaned into Buggy’s touch, forcing his floating hands closer to his own body with every taunting step.

“I’m going to play.”

Mihawk’s golden eyes seemed to flicker with his threat, and Buggy felt a flash of fear, a glimpse of a beast. In that moment, he almost gave in, almost let the beast win.

Wherever his burst of confidence came from, Buggy went with it.

“Why don’t you play with daddy’s balls then, huh, crybaby?”

One of the clown’s hands broke free from that hold, and Mihawk couldn’t fight the moan that tore through him when gloved fingers ripped into his hair again, forcing him to look at Crocodile. The larger man was so very large, stroking himself while he sat on the edge of the bed.

Gods, that fucking cock.

Buggy took advantage of Mihawk’s wonderment by kicking the backs of his knees until he hit the floor, and wrapped himself around the swordsman’s back to leave lipstick-stained bites along his neck.

“Don’t lie. You wanna get fucking wrecked, don’t you?”

“I don’t like liars,” Crocodile teased, circling his thumb over his tip, taking in a quick breath of satisfaction at the desperate look on Mihawk’s face at the sight. “Do you want us to wreck you, little prince?”

Mihawk melted as that lovely hook pressed into his throat. Buggy rubbed himself against his back, and the swordsman laughed, feeling entirely fucking spoiled.

“Please, daddy.”

What a fucking sight…

The scarred man still couldn’t understand how these lovely men were somehow his, not after everything he’d done, everything he’d felt before. Watching Mihawk beg so sweetly while Buggy stripped him made Crocodile’s cock so hard it almost hurt, his rough fingers easing up against that sensitive flesh, until wicked fingers, wicked lips, replaced his own grip.

“Fuck. Such an evil little mouth you’ve got– Shit…”

Buggy realized his own mouth was hanging open as he undressed, but he couldn’t care to close it while he watched Mihawk swallow more than looked humanly possible.

“Help me out, Buggy,” Crocodile groaned while he gripped Mihawk’s hair, his hand bobbing up and down with that pretty face. “Stretch out our filthy prince for me. No way he’s leaving here before I ruin that perfect, little ass.”

Sloppy, muffled whines escaped him, and Mihawk’s eyes rolled at the daunting threat. Buggy was there, lubed, and ungloved fingers fucking into him until he shook with need, with pleasure.

“Get over here,” Crocodile growled, stepping back to yank Mihawk toward the bed by the hook around his neck. Buggy helped him along, floating hands lifting that moaning form into place.

Mihawk’s place was on his hands and knees in the center of the bed, and he lost himself there in the tender and vicious touches his lovers showered him with. In their praise and teasing, pleasure and pain. In the taste of Buggy’s skin as he shoved his cock down his throat.

He absolutely fucking lost himself when Crocodile lined himself up. He was the world’s greatest swordsman, and he enjoyed pain a great deal. Yet his former enemy was about to pierce him so thoroughly that Mihawk whimpered around Buggy's length, almost afraid.

Then he felt nothing but that heavy cock, stretching, and claiming, and filling him until tears streamed from his golden eyes.

“So good, so fucking good for me,” Crocodile grunted. He dragged his hook down Mihawk’s side, still not believing what he was seeing.

Dracule fucking Mihawk, moaning around a clown’s cock while his pretty, little hole sucked him in again and again.

“Let’s give our twisted prince what he wants, eh, Buggy? Make sure he remembers where he belongs.”

Buggy stuttered in agreement, nearly gone before he obeyed. He tore at Mihawk’s hair while his other hand scraped brutally down his back. The twitching that his rough hands caused forced his cock even deeper until he spilled his pleasure down that desperate throat.

Crocodile sliced his hook around the swordsman’s body, pouring red from that perfect chest while he stuffed his little prince full. The overwhelming sensations had Mihawk coming harder than he’d thought possible, and the sounds he made were unreal. Pathetic.

Music to the ears of his sated lovers.

The clown didn’t need to be ordered or asked, Buggy just helped Mihawk stay steady while they pulled out of him. So many praises showered them both while the swordsman just breathed, assessing his every, vicious ache.

Crocodile hated to leave for even a moment, but he didn’t need to worry. Buggy’s hands had already flown to the bathroom to wash themselves, spilling a bit of soap on the counter before grabbing what he needed. When Crocodile returned from the shower, Buggy was still wiping the other man clean, humming while he trailed gently over that perfect skin.

Mihawk’s skin was littered with scars of battle and lust, of trust, and he had just enough energy for a weak smile as Buggy’s fingers danced over them all. He moaned, twitching in those gentle arms while his lovers washed him in the shower, no way to recover this soon.

“Don’t whine, crybaby,” Buggy mumbled, too focused on cleaning and bandaging his wounds while Mihawk melted into the burn. “We’ll slice you up some more when you get back.”

“He’s right,” Crocodile hummed. Seeing these lovely boys taking care of each other gripped something deep within his chest. Whatever it was sparked fear in him, so much so that he had to pause while they laid Mihawk on the fresh sheets between them.

I can’t lose them. Can’t lose any of them.

“We’ll be waiting, little bird,” he pressed a kiss to Mihawk’s temple. Contented, sleepy sounds filled the air, and he tried to trust that this lovely new world wasn’t about to end. “Fly back home, alright?”

He couldn’t shape words, but Mihawk hummed his promise before he drifted away.

Home…

~~~🗡️🤡🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“Morning, Y/N— well, afternoon by now, isn’t it?”

You shuffled just to have something to focus on while you simpered for him.

The traitor.

“Good afternoon, Shanks. I’m looking forward to our date this evening. Since you already won, I’m afraid you’re out of the running for the next date. We have to give everyone a chance, of course.”

“Of course.”

You couldn’t fucking believe the charm that oozed off of him when he beamed at you.

“I’d still like to try your little game though, if that’s alright, gorgeous?”

Shanks stayed quiet while you laid out the cards, some face up, some face down, before you counted down twenty two from the remaining deck.

A comforting rhythm, the answer already dancing in your mind.

“It’s the Eight of Clubs,” Shanks purred, touching the back of your hand. Lingering against your skin.

He looked so fucking smug.

A sick stillness went through you before you revealed his answer.

Of course, he knows this trick. He probably learned it before the first time he betrayed—

“Let’s go again,” Shanks ordered, the heat in his voice sending shivers across your shoulders, crawling up your neck.

The eyes of his competition were on you, but the Emperor looked at you like you were already his. Like you were spread out before him, venison for the skilled hunter to devour.

“Shuffle,” Shanks threatened, catching your chin in his dangerous fingers.

Just smile. Just pretend.

“I’m not done playing with you yet, little bunny.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!

Author's Note:

Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for waiting, and for reading that giant chapter!! 🥰🙏🏼 I hope you enjoyed it, I've been going bonkers waiting to hear all your thoughts on this big ol' mess!

Let me know in the poll if you'd be interested in a separate post of my OP canon + Numbers Game canon timeline. It would give away reader's specific age, so I don't want to share it if people don't want to know!

Note on the Brochure: All of the character details included in the brochure are from Oda, except for the quotes and the missing details for Giberson. I found them on the One Piece Fandom Wiki if you’d like to go check out more about the characters' history. I live on that site, and have to give those fans the credit for compiling all those details! I already spend hours searching for specific parts in the anime for things like lines for speech patterns and such, I’d be lost without the wiki!

Note on the Card Trick: I must confess, I am not as skilled with numbers as our Numbers Girl. This is the same trick I had Buggy use during the flashback of their first night together, and I have no idea if this 15 year old youtube video is full of shit or not, but if you'd like to try it out, here's the tutorial!

Note on this line from the beginning of the chapter: "The White Stag. The hunted. The prey." Kiki Rockwell's voice has been living in my brain, and I realized this line is similar to hers in Burn Your Village "You do not dance everyday with the fear Of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer"

That song is so good, and fits so well! 🦌😭

Anyhoo, I'm off to try to catch up on all of your wonderful comments! Y'all mean the world to me, thank you so much!!! 🙏🏼💜

Chapter 33

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

119 notes · View notes

randomthefox · 4 months ago

Note

What are the differences between the first Yakuza game and the kiwami version ?

I was comparing the sub stories and the one with the handbag was pretty different from the kiwami version so yeah I'd like to know what more difference there is between these two games.

It's okay to make a list if you want.

Strap in because it's a lot

Basically everything about Majima is completely different in Kiwami. Literally everything about his character and everything they do with him. The scenes that Majima existed in from the original are in Kiwami, but even though have been altered from their original context. Majima's role was massively embellished in Kiwami because Majima had become such a fan favorite character by that point, and because he was a leading man in Yakuza 0. The only three scenes Majima appeared in in the original game were: the one before Kiryu went to jail when he beats up one of his own henchmen with the umbrella (although Kiwami adds to that scene by having Majima reference Yakuza 0 and then beat up Kiryu with the umbrella too), the baseball cages scene and boss fight, and their final confrontation is Majima driving the trucks into Shangrala and the boss fight that ensues there. LITERALLY every single other part of the game that Majima is in was completely made up by Kiwami.

The sub stories in the original game are all pretty basic, it was the very first game after all and they were still figuring out the series. So in Kiwami almost all of the sub stories are expanded upon to make them feel a little bit more substantial and have an actual narrative going for them. They also added a lot of new sub stories to the game, such as sub story 48 which is just one big Yakuza 0 reference brigade, sub story 51 which is basically just a meme comedy encounter, and sub story 57 which answers questions that didn't need to be answered about and unresolved part of the narrative from the original game. They also add the little guitar strum sub story ending beat when the "sub story completed" message shows up, which I think actually ruins the emotional impact of the best sub story in the game (without spoilers, it's Kiwami's Substory number 6) but whatever.

All of the grandfathered content from Yakuza 0, like the Pocket Circuit and lady wrestling mini game, were obviously not in the original game. Yakuza 1 only had UFO catcher, the gambling, and baseball. Bowling, Karaoke, Pool, Mahjong, and Shogi are all mini-games that were progressively added in subsequent games in the series that were retroactively backloaded into Kiwami.

The gameplay is very different because they just grandfathered in Yakuza 0's combat system into the game. In the original Kiryu starts out with what you would recognize as the moveset from his Legend Dragon style, but it's very undeveloped. He starts out with only a three hit combo, and you literally have to unlock the fourth hit as part of a level up. To that end, the IDEA of Kiryu losing a lot of his Dragon Style after getting out of prison lines up with the original intention of the PS2 game while still allowing the player to have a satisfying modern Yakuza combat system. But the fact they tie progression in the Dragon Style to the Majima Everywhere System ends up COMPLETELY ruining that style and makes it effectively unusable unless you grind Majima fights. In the original, you just have the one fighting style and it develops naturally as you level up through natural game progression. There's also those stupid "the boss is going to refill all their health unless you use this specific move you have to unlock in the level up screen for one particular style now" moments, which were not in the original game.

The prologue is expanded slightly to include a mandatory sub story showing a flashback of Kiryu buying the ring for Yumi. They also added some walking talking bits, such as Kiryu talking to Haruka about the bubble economy to reference back to Yakuza 0 while they're walking through Ares. None of that was in the original game.

The visual style of the game is completely different. The original games lighting feels a lot more fitting to the dark gangster noir story. Kiwami feels very bright and neon soaked, it almost looks like a cyberpunk story like Blade Runner. Kiwami also has a disgusting green filter over all the outdoors parts of the game.

Personally I highly recommend just playing the original. Kiwami was created as a psudo sequel/expansion pack to Yakuza 0, but it does not function as an adequate replacement of the original game. Yakuza 1 is very very very humble beginnings, but I believe playing the PS2 game provides important context to appreciate how much the series has developed and built ontop of what they innovated with that original game. However DO NOT try playing the original english western release of the game - instead use this fan patched version called Yakuza Restored, which provides the original PS2 game with the original japanese voice acting and a completely retranslated script, it's easy to download and install the patch onto an existing ROM of Yakuza 1, just plug and play. And PCSX2 the PS2 emulator can run even on a potato PC on basic settings.

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Yakuza 1 is a little jank if you're used to the newer games, but with the original japanese dub in the Restored patch I think it is highly worth experiencing in its original context. In my opinion Kiwami is meant to be played after playing Yakuza 0, which is meant to be played after Yakuza 5, as that is the original release order of the series.

But also, like, whatever lol. Kiwami is obviously the most accessible version of the original Yakuza 1 story so you're not wrong if you just want to play that because it's easier. My first Yakuza game was Yakuza 4. There's no "wrong" game to start with when it comes to this series. As long as you're AWARE that it is a pretty substantially different experience compared to the original game, I don't think it's a big deal.

#yakuza #like a dragon #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza 1 #yakuza kiwami

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quirkwizard · 2 years ago

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Keystone-Ranking My Hero's Academia's Arcs

To All my Friends and Followers, I am proud again to announce another double milestone. Not only have I reached over 10,000 total posts on this blog, but I have reach over 3,000 followers. Who would have guessed this little blog I made for fun would have made it this far? Because I am frankly flabbergasted that this blog has made it this point. I thank all of you for your support and truly wish that I can make this blog something worthy of your dedication. For this momentous milestone, I once again decided to do a massive project. This time, it will be ranking all the arcs of My Hero Academia.

So before I begin, let's cover some ground rules:

-What I will be considering an arc, as well as where it starts and ends, will be defined by the Wikia, making for a total of twenty one arcs.

-This will mainly be focusing on the manga. While I will mention the anime here and there, it will not play any major role in how I rank these arcs.

-This ranking will be relative to the rest of the series. So if I put an arc lower on the list, I'm not saying it's the worst manga as a medium has to offer, just not up to the standards of the series.

-This will be a series of pros and cons covering each of the series with some notes. This will involve a lot of generalizations and summarizations of points, as well as maybe skipping out on what I don't have much to say, but is the easiest way to get my thoughts across.

-This will be looking at the arcs without the context of later ones. I will review the arcs on their own and will only consider what has happened before in the story when that arc came out. That means that certain events will not "ruin" arcs retroactively, but can be held against the arc they happen in.

-The Final War Arc will not be covered here. Not only because that arc is not completed at the time or writing, but is far longer then any other arc in the story and has so much to cover with it, feeling like there are several arcs going on all at once. Even if it was done, I would still cover it on it's own.

Without further ado: the ranking of My Hero Academia's Arcs.

Stars and Stripes Arc: (0/10)

-This entire arc is built around Cathleen, a one note character that doesn't have any interesting traits or arc. She was never established before, even when she should matter to characters like All For One and is suddenly the most important hero currently active.

-My worst fears are confirmed that Tomura is nothing more than a meat puppet for All For One. All his unique traits and character is under lock and key for this entire arc, leaving us with a very bland villain that I have no interest in reading.

-The whole fight is a forgone conclusion. Tomura can't lose because he's the main antagonist who is next to unkillable and he can't get "New Order" because then he would be way too powerful to beat, robbing the arc of any tension it tries to have.

-The fight itself is not interesting, which is a problem when most of this is a fight. It's Tomura getting ragdolled over and over again while Stars and Stripes keeps using her Quirk in a lot of empty spectacle. No real cleaver plans, just slapping each other back and forth.

-All these factors together rob any emotional investment a reader may have had in the story. So in spite of it only being seven chapters long, it feels like a total slog to get through, simply waiting for canonical filler arc to be done with so we can move on.

-"New Order" is a slap in the face to the entire power system. It's such a vaguely defined ability with what it can actually apply with its rules. It felt more like Tomura was fighting a wizard from a whole other series, adding on to the various frustrations in this fight.

-The main consequences could have been replaced with a single chapter. Just have Tomura writhing in a cave over his body rejecting "All For One" and have Nezu analyze and pick up information on him from the footage of the PLF War. It would have been so simple.

-The actual consequences of this arc are minimal at best. You could honestly skip this arc and not really miss much in the grand story of the series. Again, making it feel like a filler arc. It makes this whole outing seem wholly pointless in the broader narrative.

=I've said my peace on this arc many times over. I struggle to think of anything good about it. It was a chore to read the first time and it took so much willpower to not turn this into another giant rant. I honestly hope I never have to go through or think about this arc again.

Tartarus Escapees Arc: (1/10)

+I like the idea of this arc. Having Izuku regress into his self-destructive tendencies and isolating himself is a really good way to go with his low point. And this is well conveyed in the art, both in and out of costume, which I just want to is really solid this arc.

+Uraraka's speech was certainly a highlight. It's a great moment in her own arc about understanding and wanting to truly save people and gives her the relevance she has so desperately needed. Ending it with the narration of everyone being a hero was a good bit.

+I liked a lot of the bits with Stain, especially his talk with Toshinori. Having Stain, the man who misunderstands All Might the most, gives him the peep talk he needs to get out of his funk.

-The reaval of "Fa Jin" was such a massive miss for me. Not only does it not add anything to Izuku's arsenal outside of hitting even harder, it undermines one of the most interesting fights the series has had thus far by overpowering his enemy rather than outthinking them.

-There is little lasting consequences for some of the characters. Endeavor is an abuser that made a serial killer and Hawks killed a villain in front of everyone. They both say they're getting work done and everyone kind of moves on from it without issue.

-The concept of Izuku cutting off everyone around him, while interesting, wasn't anywhere near fleshed out enough. It's only a single chapter of him on his own before he's saved by the rest of Class 1-A. Kind of makes the arc's name feel like a misnomer.

-Bakugou's apology feels rather hollow given the actual phrasing and the lack of any kind of real response for Izuku. This extends to All Might, but to a lesser degree. These two are the most responsible for Izuku self-destructive mentality and it is quickly brushed to the side.

=Another arc that I've talked about before, but none of the good parts of. I think it's well above something like the Stars and Stripes up, but it's lack of real payoff for so much that was set up really shoots this all the way to the bottom of the list.

Quirk Apprehension Test Arc: (1/10)

+Aizawa has a solid character introduction and effectively sets him up. What seems to be a lazy bum actually hides one of the most strict and dedicated heroes in the entire series. A seemingly rough, pragmatic disciplinarian with a secretly good heart underneath.

+Having Izuku need to work under Aizawa was such a good move for his first day. He really learns just how much of a problem his power is going to be and how much personal responsibility a hero has. It's a good splash of cold water to Izuku's relentless optimism.

+This is the arc where we get Izuku taking on the name Deku. Not only is the moment around it cute and gives us his official nickname, but I like how it starts the trend of Izuku redefining his life, taking the mocking nickname, and making it the name of a real hero.

-The arc is strictly business, for lack of a better phrase. We don't get much expansion on the characters we know about or understanding of the other characters or their powers in spite of the fact that this test would have been the perfect place to introduce them to us.

-All it really has going for it is the one moment of Izuku throwing the softball with his finger. The ultimate, emotional climax is a character flinging a ball really far. I know that sounds like I'm being facetious, but there isn't a lot else happening in the arc worth talking about.

-We do get the early main trio of Izuku, Iida, and Uraraka interacting, but there isn't enough to go off of to get a real sense of their dynamic and characters outside of the basic traits we already established. Maybe how they view each other as people, but that’s about it.

-While the threat of expulsions is threatening for the characters, it's pretty empty from a meta perspective. We know that if Izuku was expelled, the series would be over. The reveal of the test being a ploy does give Aizawa some character, but makes it feel a little pointless.

-In the end, I'm not entirely sure what the point of the arc was. At least, enough to make it its own standalone story. Sure, Izuku develops the finger flicks, but that could have been shuffled to one of the other two arcs after this one and it would be fine.

=An arc that's ultimately a victim of its length. If it was tied into the arc proceed or succeeding it, it would have been fine. On its own, it doesn't really offer much value. I still think it has its points, but not enough to reach past this lull in the series.

Remedial Course Arc: (2/10)

+The interaction between All Might and Endeavor was great. Yeah, a lot of people forget that happened this arc. Endeavor is uncertainty of what to do and turning to his rival is good in it's own right and works as a good springboard for Enji's arc going forward.

+The other character work was fine as well. Bakugou learning to be less of jerk to people as he learns to deal with a younger version of himself is nice. The Shoto, and to a lesser extent Inasa, stuff wasn't as prevalent, but I think it's a good steppingstone in his character.

+I like the one-off chapter with Aoyama and how he connects himself to Izuku and how much their Quirks can cause issues. Giving a minor character like this a one-off chapter like this is a good way to flesh out these characters without taking up too much time.

-Speaking of important stuff, this arc introduces the Quirk Singularity. For what turns out to be such an important idea, I don't think it does the best job building the groundwork. Like there wasn't enough set up to it before or in this arc for it to make sense.

-This arc is very much removed from the rest of the story. I wouldn't mind that but doesn't really give us much in its place. Outside of the few bits I mentioned before with Bakugou and Endeavor, it doesn't feel like it adds much else to the world or story.

-A lot of this arc is more comedic. If the comedy doesn't work with you, it's going to wear down on you fast. Outside of one or two bits, I found myself stone faced at a lot of the gags. Which is really odd because I do think Hori can do comedy, but it's not done well here.

-These two issues create this odd back and forth with the arc. The interesting moments are either small or side pieces while the actual meat of the story feels superfluous. So it can be frustrating to read through this when all the good feels so buried under everything.

-Which I think leads to the biggest sin of the arc: it's so forgettable. Out of all the arcs I went over, it's the least I remember about, not even long after rereading it. Despite having some pretty important moments, I just mentally gloss over it.

=This arc gets a lot of hate, and I get it. It does feel like a pretty low stakes arc where a lot of aspects can grate on people. I can't muster much bile for it, and I still think that there are some redeemable moments here, but certainly earning a spot this low on the list.

Joint Training Arc: (2/10)

+I really liked a lot of the new Quirks on display. I think a lot were pretty neat, or at least unique enough to be intriguing. Plus seeing some of the Quirks interact across both classes makes for some fun moments and dynamics between the various characters in play.

+I do like some of the minor pieces of character we do get. Tokoyami's flashback about controlling Dark shadow, Shoto using both halves of his power, a beat in Momo gaining confidence again, and Monoma's backstory reveal are all solid parts of this arc.

+Round 3 is a major highlight of this arc. A tense battle where it feels like each character is giving it their all with sheer power or clever planning. It feels like such a big battle that is constantly changing, ultimately ending in a surprising, but satisfying payoff of a draw.

-This arc is too long for its own good. Over twenty-four chapters of characters engaging in a consequence free training exercise where the plot isn't really developing outside of a handful of moments. It really wears down on you fast, especially week to week.

-As for these fights, I think a lot of them are pretty mediocre. Whether it be because of the low stakes, the lack of real emotional moments, or simply how the Quirks are used, I found it difficult to really invest in the fights. That is a big issue when most of the arc is fighting.

-Outside of Monoma and Juzo, there is very little in the way of meaningful development for Class 1-B in this arc. And if there was any point in developing these characters, this would be the time. It feels wasted, making the characters feel more like vessels for the powers.

-I really don't like the Round 4 fight. What comes across as Bakugou's big development rights hollow. Not only is the other side kneecapped to make Bakugou look better, but it doesn't really feel like Bakugou learned how to actually work with other people on this.

-To this day, I still have mixed feelings on the "Black Whip" reveal. I don't mind the concept of Izuku with multiple Quirks, but it wasn't built up enough to make this a worthwhile pay off. It seems more like Hori did this in because he ran out of ideas for what to do with Izuku.

=While I certainly don't think this is the worst arc, I can wholly understand why people are so frustrated with this arc as it was happening. There's very little in the way of plot or characters, so it ends up feeling like it drags out too long for its own good.

Provisional License Exam: (3/10)

+I like a lot of the world building in this arc. This whole rescue operation part of the test really shows just how important the non-fighting parts of hero work are, like how you act around civilians, which helpfully sets up how things are headed post All-Might.

+I liked Inasa. His design is great, his power is cool, and he has such a fun personality that you can't help but want to see him. His role is interesting as well, having Shoto's worry about being like his father externalized in someone who sees him only as Endeavor's son.

+I enjoy a lot of the development with the class. Things like the Super Moves, the dorms, and the bits spread throughout the arc does a lot to flesh them out. Obviously, the biggest bit is with Izuku and Bakugo, their battle showing how much them and their dynamic changed.

-The arc is not paced that well. This section is twenty-three chapters long, but it feels so much longer with how everything drags on and not a lot of interesting stuff is happening in them until the very end of the story, whether that be with the fights or the characters.

-The fights aren’t that amazing. It’s not that interesting to see 1-A fight a bunch of jobbers. And when they do fight more prevalent characters, I don’t feel engaged with it. A lot of the action are resolutions to the fights aren’t clever or have a lot the emotional impact they usually do.

-The new characters aren't that well developed, even as far as one-off characters go. Aside from Inasa, there's barely anything to go off of for them. It feels less like an expanded cast from all these schools and more like bloat that Hori didn't know what to do with.

-As much as I like Inasa, I think his whole thing with Shoto is kind of dumb. Like Inasa somehow carries this undying grudge against Shoto and his father because both of them look angry at him. And the resolution ends up being rushed in spite of the focus it gets.

-While I do praise Izuku vs Bakugou, I recognize that it's focused way too much on Bakugou. This feels like it should be doing something for both of them, but a lot of the attention in and out of story is on Bakugou, making it feel incomplete and diminishing Izuku's role.

=For all the buildup of these characters becoming heroes, them pulling it off seems… underwhelming. Which honestly feels like a good way to describe a lot of this arc. A lot of potential for something big and impactful that just didn't stick the landing.

UA Traitor Arc: (3/10)

+The traitor reveal was handled so well. The reveal and backstory were great and I think adds a lot to Aoyama's character. He wasn't an evil pawn, but a terrified kid who was forced into a deal outside his control, now horrified over the safety of himself and his family.

+The villains had some good moments. A lot of it is set up for next arc, but Toga and Spinner especially had the most interesting bits here, with Toga expressing her complicated past and feelings while Spinner is pushed into a role he never wanted for his friend.

+I enjoy the bit with Izuku and Urakara near the end of the arc. It honestly refreshing see these two connecting with each other again and what they talk about is solid stuff, trying to come to terms with their own conflicts feelings about wanting to save the villains.

-In spite of my liking of the reveal, it's far too late. Aoyama's actions as the traitor haven't been a factor pretty much since Kamino onward. So when this reveal comes, it doesn't have the emotional weight it feels like it needs, especially for such a minor character.

-There's very little fall out for Aoyama being the traitor. Besides how it's entirely beneficial for the heroes, no one else really reacts to it and there isn't any fallout. Not even Bakugou, the students most affected by it. It makes 1-A feel like a hive mind rather than their own people.

-In fact, a lot of this arc relies on the reader still being invested in the arc, Aoyama as a character, and there being this powerful bond between whole of the class. There's a lot riding on the emotional core which hasn't been set up as well throughout the rest of the story.

-There are some residual frustrations from the Dark Hero Arc. In spite of all the major moves the last arc did, there is barely any follow up on most or anything with the characters taking a break. We're skipping all that for more training and getting right to the next plot point.

-The villain stuff was good but did suffer from some clunkiness. I didn't really feel like it told us anything new and what it did add felt confusing at points. Did you know that Tomura and Spinner were best friends? I didn't know Tomura liked the guy.

=So I feel like I'm one of the few people that actually like how Aoyama was handed, which elevates the arc above a lot of the later parts, but I still think it's mire by the same issues of this part of the story. It had its moments, but that's all it really had to offer.

Final Exam Arc: (4/10)

+I think the idea of the arc is pretty strong. Not only do we get to see more of the teachers in action, but it’s a cool watching the students go up against the worst opponents possible, with each one needing to overcome some kind of weakness in order to nab the win.

+The fight with Deku, Bakugou and All Might was good. It's their low point, with the two literally and metaphorically trying to overcome All Might, and only able to do so by learning from each other, effectively pushing the both of them forward in their own development together.

+The Momo, Shoto, and Aizawa fight was pretty good. While not as well established in the manga, I do like the confidence issues between the two and how it ties into their leadership abilities. Again, it's a good example of the two learning and growing from each other.

+The ending scene at the mall was well handled. It's such a great one eighty from the tone and really raises the tension. Then there's the set up with Izuku and Tomura's clashing ideals, ending with Tomura truly realizing his goal. All around good stuff.

-The structure of this arc is a mess. All the fights are happening simultaneously and there is constant cutting back and forth between them. This means that all the fights struggle to build up any momentum before quickly cutting away at the most jarring of times.

-On that note, the fights aren't that impressive barring the two I mentioned before. They don't really have anything to offer in either story or spectacle. It's a bunch of pretty basic fights where we are given focus to some of the blandest characters in the series. -While this arc is built around the students going against their worst opponents, there isn't a lot of interesting growth or dynamics. Of all the side characters, we got Mineta and Koda, who aren't that engaging to read about, nor are they developed in engaging ways.

-In spite of the greater focus on character and having tangible threat of loss, this still suffers from a lot of school arcs suffer from. An educational setting like this doesn't have much tension to it. All we really have are the fights, which aren't that good.

=Yeah, this is quite the rough patch between a lot of stellar arcs. I hoped that it was merely a victim of placement, and it had its good points, but that arc is such a mess that it's hard to get much out of it. Not the worst, but not one that I am eager to revisit.

MLA Arc: (4/10)

+The MLA is an interesting concept. A political cult wanting to give power back by letting people use their Quirks without oversight. There's a lot of interesting perspectives for that topic, both in and out of the MLA, for why people may or may not want this to happen.

+Tomura is easily the MVP of the arc. His speech to Garaki was good, but his backstory with the highlight. Seeing the sheer lengths that the world, his family, and All For One poisoned Tenko into this being of pure hatred was equal parts engaging and tragic.

+Toga's backstory was good as well. While I have my issues with how nebulous Quirk Therapy is, that ultimately doesn't detract from it. It sets up the ideas of love and it's the expression and repression that prevail in her character and their importance going forward.

+I like Re-Destro in this arc. He parallels Tomura as a rage-fueled heir to a criminal legend, but contrasts it by being someone who is totally in control of his feelings and power, as well as being successful as running the empire that was left behind by Destro.

-This arc introduces Awakenings. I have never liked this concept, even when it is first revealed. It felt more like a lazy way to give characters power ups when it was convenient. This was especially the case with Toga, even if it fits with her whole love theme.

-The MLA Executives aren't interesting villains. They're one note obstacles to the LOV. I get not every character will get focus, but you think the heads of this massive group of would be given some depth, especially with a basis of the MLA has so many angles to cover.

-The barely functional LOV somehow beating and taking over the biggest group of villains in the country is such a massive leap in threat and scale. For them to survive the fight, let alone totally dominate, feels like Hori needed to hand them the win for the story.

-Following that, this is where a lot of the rushed pacing. It seems as though that the story and characters are trying to rush the story as fast as possible to get it to the point where it needs to be rather than taking its time to make sure all of the steps are set up beforehand.

=I know this arc is a fandom darling, but I really don't care for a majority of it. For me, it's few strong moments to hold up this ultimately weak arc. Especially since it's where a lot of the flaws of the later half of My Hero Academia came to the forefront for me.

Battle Trial Arc: (5/10)

+The arc does a good job of establishing the weight of heroics in the world. While Aizawa laid the foundation, showing how the students failed in the trial in their own ways shows just how much pressure that goes into hero work. The recap of all the flaws and mishandling of the training exercise is really neat.

+This does a great job of showing off Izuku's value as a fighter and as a character. In spite of having the strongest Quirk around, his brain is his most valuable weapon, able to plan around somehow who vastly outclasses him. His vocal declaration of Deku being the name of the hero is such a simple yet powerful moment for him.

+In fact, that fight itself is super neat. Izuku has a limited ace in the hole, but Bakugou has a massive advantage in skill and a psychological edge. Meanwhile Uraraka has to deal with the villainous Iida. It makes for a fun dynamic in the fight on how everyone plays off each other in personality and powers.

+All the character establishment is well handled, something hard for any series. We get a solid mix up of the dynamic between Izuku and Bakugou, good understanding of Iida and Uraraka while having foundational moments for Shoto and Momo. Plus, Ojiro and Hagakure had a cute little moment in there as well.

-None of that is extended to any of the other characters. Again, with all of these characters together, it would have been a really good chance to establish more about them as an ensemble cast. Even if it was only in minor ways like the previous examples it would have helped a lot going forward and made them feel less like cut outs.

-By extension, we only got the one fight out of the arc. Look, I'm not asking Hori to make five extra chapters here. All I'm saying is that I think that it would have been a good chance to get a better showing of the characters’ abilities and personalities by having them fight and bounce off each other before moving forward.

-Look, I know I keep harping on the art, but its flaws become a lot more apparent when trying to do action scenes. It can make certain motions seem a lot more awkward than cool. Again, this may just be hindsight, but it was pretty distracting coming back to read this seeing how much the art hindered the experience.

-The structure of this arc is so bizarre in how it's laid out. The actual order of the panels seems like things are happening oddly or even out of order. Seriously, go back and read the lead up to Izuku confronting Bakugou at the end. It's janky as all get out. This is not helped by the pretty sloppy artwork with the characters.

=The first real fight of the series and it goes off with a bang. I do think this fight is a highlight of the early series, delivering powerful emotional moments and unique dynamic, both in combat and character. Though the series is still green and the early flaws of the series being the most prevalent here really holds it back.

PLF War Arc: (5/10)

+Izuku has some of his strongest character work here. Push to the brink, he regresses back to that totally destructive mindset and constant doubt of his early series version. And having the arc resolve with him having empathy for Tomura after everything he did is just great. No issue with how he was handled this time around.

In fact, I think a lot of the character stuff is pretty strong. Bakugou gets a nice moment by saving Izuku, Enji has to go through some of the harshest development when faced with Tomura and Dabi, and Uraraka is confronted with the most moral complexities of villains. And hey, the arc actually got me to like Miruko.

+The rest of the villains were solid as well. I really like the stuff with Hawks and Double. It works as a nice microcosm of a lot of the conflicts about heroes and the world's inability to understand villains and their issues. Toga's growth and confrontation Uraraka over understanding hero’s savings villains is all around good.

+The Dabi reveal was amazing. What was such a predictable plot point was turned into this amazing reveal, doing a total one eighty and Dabi's character for me. You take this melancholy loser and make it so he dances and reveals in all the suffering he is causing Endeavor. It's great to see it pay off in such a bombastic and impactful way.

-This arc continues the unfortunate trend of Tomura's power creep. His already insane level of power has skyrocketed without any sort of in between. And Tomura getting possesed is one of the dumbest things to happen in the story, robbing Tomura of all his character and agency in favor of someone else stealing his spotlight.

-Not everything is great on the heroes' side. Midnight's death is one a terribly handled aspect of the story, made even worse by Gran Torino somehow surviving and is the only notably causality on the hero's side. And while I get it's supposed to be Kirishima's moment, having Mina set up and undermine like that feels mean spirited.

-Some of the villains in this were let down. All of the relevant MLA members get off screened. I get they aren't the most important, but you think there could be someone more. Then there are the High Ends. You introduce a squad as dangerous as Hood, have them be an issue with one hero, and then kill them all. What was even the point?

-Aside from the Dabi reveal, all the other ones fall flat. Mr. Compress' backstory is here and gone. Oboro is a literal who that requires supplementary material to know who he even is. Mirio comes back with little fanfare and contributes next to nothing in his fight. And Best Jeanist's return raises so many questions, and not in a good way.

=I get this arc is super popular, but for me, it's one of extreme highs and extreme lows. When it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's pretty awful. It's like for every positive, there's an equal negative in the same field. I ultimately believe that the good outweighs the bad, but not enough to make me rank it any higher.

USJ Arc (6/10)

+This arc goes zero to one hundred real quick and it's great. We go from low stakes practice to everything going wrong. The villains are attacking, the adults are out of commission, and All Might is nowhere around. It does a really good job of making this tension situation with real danger, making the pays off that more powerful.

+This is where we get more from the UA characters, doing a surprisingly good job of characterizing a lot of them in spite of having such a short time span, giving a lot of their characters their own moment to show off. Same with the teachers, with us getting more layers to the teachers, like Aizawa genuine care of the students.

+This is where a lot of Izuku's major character traits come about, really show off how much of natural leader he is and just he proficient he is in planning. What's more is the self-image and self-destructive issues come to light, such as giving up the president spot and when he tries to save All Might, adding a lot more to his own character.

+All Might is handled really well in this arc. Not only does it give us a deeper glimpse into his character, but just how he's handled thematically. It goes a good job of showing All Might's power with how he and how hopeless things are without him yet gives us a reminder that power is fading and is one a time limit.

+This may just be hindsight, but I like Tomura for this arc. He's the big bad but is almost constantly undermined and humiliated at every other turn, both physically and ideologically. It's a subversion that's hilarious in the moment but does set him up well for further development and helps parallel him with Izuku's own growth.

-Again, a lot of the early series flaws are present here. It legitimately feels like there are panels missing from the pages or that the panels are really awkwardly structured, such as a having a big moment in a tiny panel or panels not flowing well from one to another. It can make it a very jarring read and takes a lot from the experience.

-Man, for being the climatic fight of the arc, the actual battle with the Nomu and All Might feels super underwhelming. It may just be that the anime spoiled me, but it lacks a lot of impact a fight like this needs, the art doesn't convey the action, and is over pretty quickly. It makes the ending feel pretty flaccid, especially for the first big arc.

-While the main players of the villains’ side are cool, it does feel like a lot of minions leave some to be desired. Seriously, outside of Izuku's group, it doesn't feel like any of the students are under real threat from the horde of minions. It can make it seem like a lot of initial villains were pretty empty outside of the three heavy hitters.

=A big arc that finally expands the world and threats outside the school. Which it does a pretty fine job of. It's not exactly the same high of the anime, but it isn't too bad either. I think it works best when you see it as the punctuation to set up for the greater story. Now that it's done, we can start moving on to the real meat.

Endeavor Agency Arc: (6/10)

+I like the opening chapter about interviews. Besides the fact that most of the gags land and how I've really wanted to see the kids learn stuff like this, I really like the world building behind Super Moves. That they aren't just aces in the hole for a hero, they are a means of brand recognition that help solidify a hero's image.

+The Christmas part was just plain cute. I'm all for the characters doing non-plot stuff like this and I like a lot of the gags with it. All the different gifts people get, the background gag of Mina trying to dress Bakugou, and Eri getting all the holidays mixed up. It's a fun little break that doesn't mess up the plot or pacing too much.

+The family drama was well handled. I think it's interesting how Hori handled the family dynamics of the Todorokis. He gave each of the members their own perspective on a complicated situation, but doesn't invalidate any of them, nor does he try to quickly redeem Enji or say that any one of the family members needs to accept him.

+In fact, Enji is great this arc. Besides the small ways he is humanized on a more personal level and the natural dynamics he has with the characters, it does a great job by trying to separate the ideas of atonement and forgiveness in the arc and what the two really mean, something I believe is key to understanding Endeavor's story.

+The pacing of the arc is near perfect. Everything gets the attention it needs in the time it needs and nothing feels like wasted time or out of place. It goes a great job of setting up the next arc with Hawks' spying and Tomura's growth without detracting from the current plot.

-For an arc called the Endeavor Agency, there isn't a lot of time spent at the agency. The trio isn't learning about being heroes or having their characters really bounce off each other, whether it with their Quirks or overall personalities, skipping right to the end of it. It feels like a lot more could have been done with these three together.

-There are some worrying trends that come with this arc. Like how instead of getting anything with the agency, everything was frustratingly skipped over in a time jump. Then Izuku learns how to use "Black Whip" way too fast, mastering this wild power in a week. It contributes a lot to the rushed feelings of the later arcs.

-Ending is super lame. His design is middling, his power isn't that great, and his whole motivation is just worse Stain. I wouldn't harp on him as much if he were a bit villain, but Hori could have done more with him considering his importance to this arc. Heck, Starchild was more interesting and he's barely in this story.

=An arc that is often lost and forgotten by being sandwiched between two larger, series defining arcs. Which is a real shame because I think it offers quite a bit with all the drama doing on with the Todorokis and the levity of the early chapters. All around a pretty solid arc and does a lot to set up the next big arc well.

Entrance Exam Arc: (7/10)

+If I was rating solely on chapters, Chapter 1 would get a perfect ten. It does such a good job of setting up the world, the characters, the themes, the tone, and the conflicts in the amount of time it has. It's such an amazing foundation for everything going forward. It's honestly impressive all the leg work it does this early on.

+The exam is set up really well. Having there be Hero Points and the Level Zero robots was a smart way for Izuku to have his cake and eat it. He still gets to have his moment of heroic sacrifice, but it was that noble spirit was what got him that spot in the first place. Him finally getting in is such as powerful emotional moment as well.

+The whole reveal of "One For All" is such a good endpoint and hook for the series going forward. Izuku may have been gifted the greatest power in the world, but now has to deal with some of the most dangerous drawbacks in the whole series to limit it, still keeping the stakes giving him plenty of room to develop his power.

+The arc does emotional moments really well. All Might telling Izuku he can be a hero, Izuku triumphantly standing on top of the trash pile, to him rushing to the forefront to save Uraraka. Again, in spite such a limited amount of panel time, it makes each moment feel so much bigger and more impactful then it has any right to be.

+On that note, it does a great job of endearing and connecting you to characters. Izuku's position as an underdog is immediately sympathetic, as is All Might's unenviable role as the top hero. Which I think is a real achievement given how early we're into the manga and how hard it can be to establish characters in the beginning.

-As for the rest of it, most of it's just Izuku training and doing the exam. That's it. It's not terrible and it really goes to show Izuku's dedication to being a hero, but it's not something to really write home about. This could simply be that the first chapter was that good, but it's not as exciting going forward.

-Some of the early art is kind of rough. This could just be because I'm more used to the cleaner style of the later chapters, but it comes across as rather jagged for a lot of the characters. This doesn't feel like a intentional style choice, more of a series finding its footing and with the art style and designs needing refinement.

-This extends to the major players of this arc. Again, benefit of hindsight, but it they seem more like exaggerated versions of themselves. All Might comes across as a lot more callous, and even with the worst version of himself, Bakugou telling Izuku to jump off a roof seems really out of character for him.

=Ah, back in the days that My Hero Academia was the little manga that could. First impressions are equal parts important and difficult, so it really is an accomplishment that the arc is as well put together as it is. It all works as a great foundation for the story. With such a strong start, it's no surprise that it got pick up for more chapters.

Pro Hero Arc: (7/10)

+While the last few arcs did some leg work, the Pro Hero Arc did a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to Enji's character. It takes this one note antagonist and actually makes him the underdog hero while still acknowledging all the bad stuff he did. It's honestly impressive how well this was pulled off given its starting point.

+The fight of Hood was great. Not only does it involve two of the most visually interesting and versatile fighters we've had thus far, giving a lot of ways to mix up the fight, but it manages to pull out some really strong emotional moments. This mixed with the pitch perfect pacing, and stellar art makes for an enjoyable experience.

+Hawks is such an enjoyable addition to the cast. Not only does he have an amazing design and power, but he’s also such a fun personality to hang around with. What seems like a total slacker, goofball is one of the most perceptive and skill heroes around. You're just interested in seeing what he does and how he bounces off Enji.

+And then it all gets flipped upside down by the end of the arc. Hawks was a kid raised to be a hero and is now going to infiltrate the League. Not only does this raise a lot of intrigue for the upcoming story, but it feels like such a massive upset from what we've seen of Hawks and the hero world as whole to have this happen.

+The out of battle stuff was nice as well. Besides Izuku getting his first fan in Kota, the fall out of the Todoroki's was well handled. In spite of his attempts at redemption, Enji's still hurt people and they aren't going to forgive him. It would have been so easy for quick forgiveness, but this makes Enji and Shoto's story all the stronger.

+The flash backs we got at the end with Izuku were pretty cool. It's interesting to see All For One in his younger years and how his empire camp to be. In the frightening world of Quirks with desperate people, his power to give and take power made him a king. It's a unique way to put him in power while still fitting within the world building.

-The other pro heroes have… neat designs. Look, for an arc that's supposed to be about the top heroes of Japan, there is shockingly little shown outside of Hawks and Endeavor. While they are the main characters, you couldn't have thrown a bone to the other characters? Maybe even revealed their Quirks or show off their personalities?

-Hood isn't that amazing of a villain. He's certainly a physical threat, but the fact that he's an intelligent Nomu doesn't really factor much into his character. He wants to fight, but that doesn't really give us much to work from. It feels like Enji is fighting some reflection or contrast and just something he needs to set on fire.

=Yeah, this was surprisingly good. The fact that Hori was able to turn around Enji’s to this degree is really impressive, but I do think that there is a lot more going on with the arc. It’s a good break from the main cast to flesh out the world and develops a lot of interesting ideas and plot points with the introduction of Hawks.

Culture Festival Arc: (8/10)

+Gentle and La Brava are great. They're so wonderful and different from everyone else. Their status as total jokes, both in and out of the series, betrays the fact that both are competent in their own ways and have a lot of care for one another. They're good set up for the later humanization of the villains of the series.

+I like the fight between Gentle and Izuku. Gentle's power is so cool to see in action and leads to an interesting fight dynamic. He isn't stronger than Izuku, but he's so tricky to deal with that it gives him an edge. It feels less like a brawl and more of the two trying to outfox each other, making it more distinct from other fights.

+This works as a good breather and much needed break from the more dower tone for the last few arcs, making for a comforting read. On that note, this is hands down the funniest arc in the whole series. Gentle and La Brava alone would qualify this arc for it, but a lot of the students have some good gags sprinkled throughout.

+I like a lot of the character bits we get. Not only does this arc actually develop Jiro and Eri, but it ties well into some of the general themes of the series. With how everyone is battered after the raid. It shows the kind of pressure that heroes go through and the importance of other kinds of heroics like Jiro's music.

+Not only does the arc establish the point of heroes saving people without fighting in Eri and Jiro's storyline, but the humanization of villains I mentioned before. La Brava and Gentle are both sad victims of circumstance who found strength outside the system in each other. It's affectively a microcosm of the major villains of the story.

-As much as I like this arc, I can admit it goes through kind of a whiplash plot and tone wise. Going from the Shie Hassaikai Arc to this is still pretty jarring to have everything stop and be light on both. I still like it, but I sometimes get the feeling of looking at my watch and wondering when things will be moving forward.

-There really should have been more exploration of the students. If you're going to do a plot light arc based around the school, it would have been a great time to see more of the students. If not from Class 1-B, who are major focuses of the next arc, then at least some of the lesser seen students could have had something going on.

=Probably one of my more controversial picks. I know this arc gets dogged on a lot by the fans, but I think that is wholly underserved. I thought it had a lot of value, even beyond its lighthearted story. And hey, I'm fine with taking breaks from the plot if I believe what's happening is worthwhile, and I certainly think it's worthwhile.

Sports Festival Arc: (8/10)

+In spite the low stakes of sport events, the arc manages to keep the tension up and mix things up with all the strategy and powers at play. Sure, running an obstacle course or doing a cavalry race isn't that cool on paper, but actively fighting against a horde of another students all with their own powers keeps it interesting.

+This arc really shows off some of Izuku's finest qualities. It was interesting seeing Izuku try and plan his way around the events given his huge disadvantages and amazingly shows off his character. Everything from his planning abilities, his skill in leading other people, and his genuine desire to save other people.

+Shoto was certainly the dark horse of the arc. While set up to be important early on, I don't think anyone could have predicted just how well his character and back story was done. That backstory really starts to delve into the darker themes of the story with his father, one of the top heroes, being an abuser that used his kids as tools.

+Of course, the Shoto vs Izuku fight is amazing. There is no contesting this. This is one of Izuku's most defining moments, effectively throwing away at chance at winning just to save Shoto. It ends in an emotional climax of Shoto regaining his power and Izuku losing, making for an subversion that makes sense and is satisfying. +The other side character work is done well, giving us more layers to them. Like hints of Iida's more vengeful side, Uraraka having this frightening amount of drive, and Bakugou showing some real respect to other people. It helps to subvert and expand on the characters, all while delving into more of their motivations and goals.

+This character work extends into more world building, especially with the new side characters. Shinso do a lot to build up the unfair the world can be in regard to Quirks while Mei introduces other aspects of the school and heroism as a whole. And this is all while they're both still fun characters to read about in their own ways.

-As for what happens in the rest of arc… it's pretty good. If you remove the highlight moments, most of the arc doesn't stand out as much in terms of what actually happens in it. I don't think it's bad by any means, but it's not something as amazing or exciting as the few highs of this arc and tends to skew a lot of people's perspectives.

-This extends to the other fights as well. Outside of the one standout I mentioned before, there isn't anything that spectacular to me brings up some frustrations like how Izuku was saved from Shinso by a Deus Ex Machina. Heck, the impetus of Momo's whole character arc is relegated to a single cartoonish panel summarizing the fight.

=I know this is a fandom darling and I feel a lot of that comes from the anime adaptation. To me, when looking at the manga, it's an arc of some extreme highs, but was above average to good with the rest of it. Certainly not my favorite but still a good arc.

Forest Training Camp Arc: (9/10)

+As someone who really likes to explore the mechanics of Quirks and hero work, I enjoy the various ways these Quirks can be trained and evolved and what kind of roles and pressures they would have to handle. Sure, cooking isn't something we really think about with heroes, but it makes sense to know that for disaster work.

+It's really satisfying to see Tomura use all the lessons he's used thus far, putting aside his short-sighted schemes in favor of a more thought out goal with a plan to turn the narrative against the heroes and capturing Bakugou. That mix with the inherent threats of the villains makes the League seem like a serious contender.

+A lot of the villains are pretty good. They don't have a lot of depth right now, but they don't really need to for the purposes they serve. They are all established enough in their own ways that they are interesting to see and makes you want to know more about them, leaving things open for use to learn more about them later.

+I like a lot of the minor stuff we got with the students. A lot of the pre battle antics are good at fleshing them out, but they really start to shine in the second half of the arc. Whether it be as active players in the arc, like Tokoyami and Shoji, or setting up for their own stories, like with Uraraka and Aoyama, it's all good stuff to read.

+Izuku vs Muscular fight is great. There's some real tension with Kota being threatened, we see Izuku being more emotionally and physically broken than any other point in the series. Only for him to overcome it with one of the most emotional panels in the series. The Million Percent Smash being such a perfect punctuation with the whole battle.

+I appreciate the arc ending on such a dower note. In spite everyone's efforts, the villains won. They kidnaped Bakugou, a huge portion of the students are in critical condition, and there is a potential mole within the walls of UA. It works as an affective low point for the next arc to build off of for the story.

+And in spite of the dark tone, the arc still manages to be really funny, like all the small interactions between characters, like Shoto subtlety throwing shade at Bakugou. And I standby that Izuku suddenly getting punched in the nuts is still one of the funniest moments in the entire series. I will die on this hill.

+This arc hits a perfect balance of pacing. The first half of the story is full of fun antics and lighter moments between the characters while the latter half is full of highly emotional action with a new gallery of rogues. And when it hits the ground, it hits hard and fast, never letting up on the fights and intrigue with the characters.

=While not as groundbreaking as some of the higher ups, I still hold this arc in a special place. Everything from the characters, to the fights, to the emotional beats are all handled so well that I often consider it the best of arc of the series. Even if you twist my arm, the only fault it has is that I simply like the other arcs more than it.

Stain Arc: (9/10)

+The art style drastically improves this arc. While I certainly saw a leap in quality once we got to the Sports Festival, the manga really starts to hit its stride once we reach Stain. The characters have more detail to them, the backgrounds pop a lot more, and the paneling is handled a lot better, making for a stronger experience.

+I like a lot of stuff with hero names and internships. Agian, it's a quick and easy way to help us understand and endear ourselves to the character while still developing the bigger ones, such as Iida's uncertainty as a hero after his brother’s injury or Bakugou trying to learn more about the social nuances of being a hero.

+The Full Cowl was such a good idea. The bone breaking was a neat gimmick to start with, but ultimately unsustainable concept. This offers a good side grade that still fits within the power. It gives Izuku far less power but grants him more control and a way to measure his progress throughout the series.

+Tomura and Izuku get some much-needed development. This arc sees them both growing beyond their world view when faced with an outside force, with Stain acting as their reality check. It sets up how the two will grow opposites throughout the series and further reinforcing the two parallels of our two main leads.

+Shoto and Iida get some time to break out of their original shells. While it's nice to see Shoto being far less cold to people, Iida going on a revenge quest is such a drastic yet believable turn for him. Having his righteous vengeance turn on its head and how such a thing would only sully the family name is all great stuff to read.

+Stain is such a great villain. He commands every single scene he's in and always remains a real threat in spite of his lackluster ability. Though the real meat is how much he's able to challenge the world and characters we see. The man has an iron clad code, one that makes he ready to lift up or deconstruct anyone he comes across.

+The fight with Stain is great. Stain is outgunned and outnumbered, but never outmatched, having much greater skill and what amounts to a one hit KO. That mixed with the closed off arena gives him a massive advantage. It's such a uniquely balanced fight and leads to a lot of interesting back and forth, yet still makes Stain a real threat.

+It feels like there were some real consequences to this arc. Stain wasn't some one-off villain, he changed everything, inspiring more villains and building up for the next big arc. Then there are hints to All For One, the who harmed All Might, being behind everything. It builds up a lot of intrigue for the rest of the story.

=Yeah, there is a good reason everyone talks about this arc. While Stain is the standout figure of this part, I do think it does a disservice to the rest of the arc to only bring up him. It's able to balance so much so well with how each of the characters grow and all meet up in fight. So yeah, it's well worth all the hype it gets.

Hideout Raid Arc: (10/10)

+This handles a lot of the aftermath of Forest Camp Arc well. All the students emotionally handling things and the teachers dealing with the fallout being well done. Giving Izuku a very real threat of damage to his body if he keeps pushing himself too far, set up some real stakes for his training and any future battles he has.

+I like a lot of minor moments between the students. Things like the debate at the beginning of whether or not to save Bakugou helps flesh out the class a lot. Then the bit of Momo and Iida keeping their friends from rushing in are good moments for them while still establishing just how big of a threat All For One is.

+And this is the arc where I think Bakugou clicked for me. We got hints of his depth before, but this is where it comes together. It gives us such an interesting peek into his headspace, like the view we got of his home life and getting his perspective on the concept of heroism and how it ties into winning for him.

+All For One's reveal was handled so well. The shadowy man we've heard so much about comes out with a devastating attack, destroying any opposition and horrifying the nearby students. It's nothing truly groundbreaking, but It's all presented so well that it elevates so much in the eyes of the reader as an impossible threat.

+The All For One vs All Might fight is one of the highest, if not the highest peaks in the series. What else could I possibly say? The beats are simple, but the execution is nigh perfect. The back and forth of the two, the reveal of Small Might, the second wind of power, All Might learning from Izuku, and the United States of Smash. All amazing.

+And while many people remember the main fight, I think the aftermath is just as good. The conflict between Izuku, Inko, and Toshinori is so natural and gripping, with Inko wanting to protect Izuku in spite of his dreams and this in turn hardening's Toshinori to the resolve of his new mission of training Izuku.

+Said aftermath sets up some many interesting and exciting plot points. The fall out of All For One's capture, All Might needing to deal with his life after being a hero, Izuku having to bear the weight of "One For All", Bakugou feeling guilt over All Might losing his spot, and the still immature Tomura now being out on his own.

+The tone is really well handled here. It gets pretty grim, but it doesn't get so dark that it takes you out of the experience and hits all the hopeful moments just right. And again, the comedy is oddly strong here. All Might opening his big entrance with a pizza delivery line and the rescue gang trying clothes on in a thrift store.

=Now, I don't need to tell you why this is good. What you may be asking is why it's not at the top. While I do think that All Might vs All For One is amazing and a good chunk of the arc, but there's still the rest of it. Again, it's some good stuff that gets overshadow a lot, but it's another case of something so amazing elevating the rest of the arc.

Shie Hassaikai Arc: (10/10)

+Not only is this arc unique from all the other arcs thus far, giving us our first real look at the hero world, the arc is great technically as well. It's always keeping up my interest and doesn't drag on at any point. The art is really good, especially with the character designs. Everything is as long as it needs to be, and nothing feels awkward.

+I really like how Izuku is handled here. He has been defined by his self-image issues but tackling that as All Might's successor is interesting. It does everything in its power to make you question if he was worthy, yet is always showing you his merits, namely his relentless will to help people no matter the threat may be.

+Sir Nighteye and Mirio are both good characters as well. They do work to contrast's Izuku own feelings and his role but are still enjoyable characters in their own right. Mirio as a hard-working hero with a good heart and Sir Nighteye as a fatalistic naysayer are both great in their own ways.

+In fact, a lot of the side characters are good in it. Kirishima gets a lot of good development, Tamaki is fun to read as the shy dork he is, Rock Lock presents a unique perspective on hero students, and Fat Gum is Fat Gum. Even with the more minor characters, they stand out enough to be interesting in spite of their lack of panel time.

+To me, this is the arc where Tomura really hits his stride as a villain. Without any proper support, he grows into the leader needs to be the League. Not only does this lead to some of his best moments and sets up his story but adds some much needed layers to the burgeoning villain, showing some real care for his teammates.

+Overhaul is such a great villain. Not only is he a massive threat in power, resources, and overall abilities, he acts as a good foil not only to Izuku, but to Tomura as well while still being his own character. His plan and goal are so unique for the setting, yet offer a frightening endgame, effectively controlling the supply and demand of Quirks.

+By extension, I think this does a lot to characterize the rest of the villains. Obviously, Twice and Toga get the bulk of it, building them up as people beyond their gimmicks, but the rest of the League gets their own moments to shine. This extends to the yakuza minions, who I think are my favorite ensemble of villains in the series.

+This arc ends on such a great note. Sir Nighteye's death crushes the heroes' side in spite the reconciliation. Meanwhile, Tomura gets out like champ, getting revenge on Overhaul and leaving with a dangerous weapon in his hands. It's a good way to start the slow shift of the dynamic between heroes and villains going forward.

=So while this doesn't think this hits the same highs as the Hideout Raid, I think it does accomplish more with its scope. It has a lot more to juggle in comparison to the Hideout Raid and pulls it off with flying colors. It obviously doesn't hit the same peaks, but holds as consistently level of quality, making me prefer it.

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davidmariottecomics · 1 year ago

Text

It's Weird Being Between Two Jobs

Hi there and happy new year!

Title kinda says it all in this week's blog, but the strangeness of this time in my life is really settling in.

Just because of how things worked out with leaving IDW and starting the new job, I ended up with a little under a month of free time. And the first week and some change of that was the end of the year holiday season. But the past week has been me sort of watching from the outside as people started going back to work. I did finish up some additional new hire paperwork, but that took maybe an hour total and I'm still over a week from starting the new gig. It's an odd space to be in. I'm not working for anyone--I'm not getting a paycheck (and am currently sort of living this month off of my last IDW paycheck plus paid out time-off)--but I'm also not so far removed from a gig as to be strictly freelance.

And to be totally honest, I don't know that I really like it. I am not great at having free time. I like the idea of free time. I like the idea of having time to write for myself or relax with my hobbies. But I am not great at the latter and the former betrays the fact that even with my free time, I'm often trying to switch into work mode. Heck, at the end of the day, my starting this blog and crossposting it as a newsletter/Tumblr/Patreon is all influenced by my not being good at not at least trying to be productive with my free time.

If you're also someone who has been working from home and especially if you've been working from home freelance, I'm sure you know all the complications of the domestic and recreational life against your job and probably are familiar with how helpful routine and scheduling is with all that. Right now, I'm freeform. I don't want to just use my old habits--the advantage of time off is specifically that I can break a 9-5 M-F format--but I feel like I don't have enough time to start building new routines. So, it's been a challenging couple of weeks. I have not done nearly as much as I think I'd like to have at this point, but I also keep needing to remind myself that I have done a number of things that were on my to-do list and that it's okay to have time off for myself.

As such, instead of a really specific blog on something of late, let me share a couple quick bits that've been on my mind.

The Anti-EGOT I recently finished a big relisten of season 2 of Dungeons & Daddies and in the intro to the show of one episode, Anthony Burch introduced the idea of an Anti-EGOT. I think he retroactively changed it in a later episode, but the general idea was to be a writer in four of the least respected mediums and not win an award for any of it. I believe, in the initial mention, the idea was the four mediums of choice would be video games, comic books, podcasts, and pornography (with wrestling being retroactively either added or replacing one of these, but I don't think I'm much of one to write for wrestling). Honestly, that kinda sounds like a dream to me. As I was listening to this stuff in the run-up to the new year, there was a part of me thinking "is going for the Anti-EGOT my resolution"? And I ultimately decided, no. I don't think that's a good resolution, but it is sort of my stretch goal for the year. If I can write in all those fields, get paid for it, and not win any awards (or, y'know... do) in my lifetime, I'll be pretty stoked.

What my actual goal for the year would be is I want to try to release 6 comics. Different lengths and varieties. I'm not currently anticipating having that be like a single mini-series or whatever, but I want to try to do more in comics with what I am producing. And if I can maybe branch out into one of those other areas this year, even if it doesn't have a release for another year or more, I'd be cool with that too.

Steamboat Willie Last year, you may've read my four part explainer about copyright! One thing that is repeatedly touched on there is the public domain and what all that means. Obviously, this year, Steamboat Willie and two other Mickey Mouse shorts entered the public domain. And it's been really interesting to watch that play out a little. It seemed like--and I know it's only been a week--most everyone got it out of their systems within the first 2-3 days of the year. A lot of that probably goes to Steamboat Willie and those early shorts not actually being all that interesting (fun, but very story-light). A lot of it goes to so much of what people would want to do with "Steamboat Willie" is either already legal because it falls under parody, is not actually meant to be sellable in any way, or was knocked out in a day. A lot of it too probably goes to how unclear what counts as public domain remains. For a character like Mickey, people have been pointing out are you using elements that were added after 1928 or treading on issues of trademark that are not copyright and are not as available. I am very curious to watch how this continues to play out this year (if it does), how things develop next year, and in the next couple of years, watch how things fall in preparation for about a decade from now when more of the early Disney catalog will be public domain (including Snow White) and other major companies start having some of their big hits become PD (like, say, Superman).

I'm also kinda bummed to have not seen any immediate announcements/releases of new comic versions of Lady Chatterly's Lover like there were of The Great Gatsby or anything. That's the other really interesting/wild thing about this year--to me, it seems like the majority of the fuss was around the Mouse and the things that've remained popular in part due to the mouse, Peter Pan and Tigger. I have not seen nearly enough talk about One Million Cats or any of the film or music.

Post-Twitter

The other day, Diana Sousa was asking on Bluesky (and Twitter, I guess), if Twitter is still the major non-convention way that comics editors discover new talent. And I responded as someone who is NO LONGER ON TWITTER but who is still needing to have discoverability of comics artists. I said, part of it is I am on other socials. I see new folks on Bluesky or Instagram or whatever. I also keep an eye on various databases--you don't have to be on Twitter to have access to #VisibleWomen or the Cartoonist Cooperative database or Cartoonists of Color or the Queer Cartoonist Database or the Disabled Cartoonist Database or any of these many sorts of resources. Something I didn't mention there, but will mention here is when you've got a company email address, you've often got agents of various sorts emailing you about talent, internal talent databases and/or recruiter-type folks, sharing info with other editors (and, y'know, I've in the past shared talent who I didn't have a gig for with editor friends at other companies because I thought they'd be a good fit).

As I've mentioned before, the lack of access to talent was why I did wait so long to delete my Twitter (and also wanting to make sure I had ways of keeping up with world events and following non-comics people). But, genuinely, I am not stressing over continuing to find new people now that I've been without it for a little bit and know I've got a system. Check Yourself for Midjourney Training Hey, speaking of my explainer on copyright and the lengths of time therein I talk about how "AI" is a tool of theft and companies trying to avoid paying artists for the use of their copyrighted works, the lawsuit against Midjourney's resulted in a list of names of "artists" they've scraped. Now, I only put "artists" in quotes because the list was made by incompetent tech bros and/or their clueless lawyers, and so there are a number of writers listed who do not particularly do art but where you can extrapolate that the artists they work with were scraped as well as companies, systems, game platforms, etc. While I understand that of course lawsuits are expensive, I do know a number of artists have been reaching out to the lawfirm of the existing suit and seeking to join the case as plaintiffs. If you're a visual artist, probably worth the time to double-check and, if you can, do something about it.

Okay, I think that's it for this week! See ya next time!

What I enjoyed this week: Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Reverse 1999 (Video Game), Nancy (Comic), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video Game), Baldur's Gate III (Video Game), Blank Check (Podcast), Spy x Family (Manga), How to Read Nancy (Book), Hitman 2 (Video Game), Pokemon Conceirge (Cartoon), Ted Lasso (TV show, finally started season 3), Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Movie--can you tell I'm in a D&D mood?), The Floor (TV show), my new discord (friends can ask for access!), sending out some feeler emails for new projects and getting to do at least a little bit of writing for myself.

New Releases this week (1/3/2024): Sonic the Hedgehog #68 (Editor)

Announcements: The Cartoonist Cooperative is still doing E-Sim cards for Gaza and at least 500 people have shown their proof of donation. You can donate a digital sim card so that residents can get access to the internet and have more functional phones and, in exchange, get some comics or a drawing or whatever else is available from the many participating artists.

You can also give more directly. Things are obviously still very bad in Gaza as we've hit 3 full months of them being under siege. Over 20,000 Palestinians have been killed, including plenty of women and children. Israel has killed more journalists than any single conflict in my lifetime. They are attacking not just Gaza and the West Bank, but other neighboring countries. I hope the Internatioal Court of Justice can help bring this to an end, but in the meantime, the US has significant influence over the situation (between internatioal political power and the weapons and money we're sending as both a nation and that are being sent my many corporations in the US). You can call or fax or email or show up at the offices of your representatives to demand a ceasefire or to protest their inaction so far or to throw eggs at the president for participating in and encouraging a genocide. You should keep aware of actions, demonstrations, protests, and celebrations in your community too. Given the nature of the things, they often come together fairly quickly, so do exercise your due diligence. Also, of course, being informed and just giving your time to Palestinian journalists and writers is incredibly valuable. I don't tend to be a big TikTok fan, but it has proven to be one of the most reliable resources for firsthand accounts of what's happening on the ground.

Meanwhile, Becca's got their first show of the year next weekend, 1/13 at Alesmith for a mini-con with BizBaz! Come pick up some new for 2024 stuff! Also, they've still got a little room in their schedule for this year, so get them for your comic project before it's too late!

Finally, calling out my Patreon again as well as my webstore (final stock on basically everything there except Jimmy Squarefoot), my Kofi, and my eBay account as I am between paychecks for a while and those are other ways you can support me!

Pic of the Week: We went to one of our favorite local restaurants, Rakitori in Hillcrest. They had a spicy cheesy tonkatsu ramen and I'm not a food picture guy usually, but I did quite like this photo and I'm actually very fortunate we ate there at the tail end of 2023, otherwise I'd have already eaten the best meal of 2024.

#comics #midjourney lawsuit #steamboat willie #public domain explained #anti-egot #food pics

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isolaradiale · 9 months ago

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PETS (AND HOW TO GET THEM)

Hey everyone!

We've received numerous questions about pets in the past few months, which has prompted us to consider our policy on pets and the best way to implement them in the group. As a result, we have decided on the following:

We will be adding an optional "Pets" section on the application form. You will be allowed to list a single pet there that a muse will be able to keep in the group upon acceptance. Any special abilities they possess must be listed there as well.

All pets will be powerless upon acceptance. If they have super strength, fire breathing, etc. that will all be taken away.

Pets will not be mentioned on your acceptance ask. You can assume if you listed one that they were returned in a powerless form unless we reach out to you to tell you otherwise.

This applies retroactively, and if your character owns a pet in canon that they haven't received back, you can add them to their "inventory" so long as you abide by the rest of this post.

If you would like to unlock powers for this pet you can either use a regular unlock for them or by using a Faithful Companion Star purchased from the Galaxy blog. Anyone who has used a Faithful Companion Star will be able to message the Galaxy blog to trade in their use of one for an unlock for that pet.

Any pets that are larger than large dog will be shrunk down to the size of one on acceptance. Unlocks could be used to increase their size.

If your character is at Hypergiant rank, your pet will have all of its abilities unlocked / its height returned to normal.

If the pet is already in the group under a different character, they will not be given again to a new character from the series apping until that character drops.

If we believe your listed pet is ineligible, we will contact you in a separate ask after your acceptance has been processed to let you know to take them off your app. If you aren't sure of eligibility however, you can always ask a staff member!

Now, what qualifies as a pet?

The creature must belong to your muse at the canon point you have picked for them. If the pet has passed on or don't belong to your muse at the canon point you have chosen, they cannot be obtained.

Animals and monsters count primarily, though depending on their size they are liable to be shrunken down according to the point in the section above. This can include mounts like wyverns, horses, etc.

Things like robots, golems, etc. are on a case by case basis. If you're unsure about them after reading all of the points below, feel free to check with us before you add them to your application!

Pokémon and Digimon do not count, as we have separate policies for them.

Creatures that have the capacity to speak in the human tongue cannot be claimed as pets, as they can be apped as their own characters. (Kyubey from Madoka, or Mona from Persona, for example). If you would like to include a character like this, they can be apped on the same blog at the cost of one of your slots.

Highly intelligent pets qualify, but as these could be apped (though unlikely), keep in mind that if anyone wants to app them, someone would be able to even if you've made them your pet. (Repede from Tales of Vesperia, or Fou from F/GO, for example).

We do not consider creatures that are necessary for a character's abilities to be pets as they are tied to their ability unlocks. This includes things like Personas, or like Wisps from the Sonic series.

Mythical creatures and monsters qualify, but they will be shrunk down to the size of a large dog and stripped of their powers.

Specific to characters that have already been accepted:

You do not need to message the masterlist unless the pet in question in a robot / golem / similarly non-biological, since these are on a case by case basis.

If you have purchased a Faithful Companion Star in the past to create a canon pet, you can message the Galaxy blog to claim either a power unlock for that pet or to unlock a different pet if they have multiple.

-- the island stars.

#modnote

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gaymer-hag-stan · 8 months ago

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How we feeling ladies and gays???

Lara Croft's impact as a pop culture icon is monumental, transcending her origins in the Tomb Raider video games to become a symbol of female empowerment and representation. She was one of the first major female protagonists in gaming, breaking ground in a male-dominated industry and becoming the face of one of the most successful franchises in history, now with over 100 million units sold. Her character has earned multiple Guinness World Records, including "Most Successful Human Video Game Heroine" and "Most Recognizable Female Character in a Video Game." Beyond gaming, Lara successfully transitioned to Hollywood, portrayed by Angelina Jolie and Alicia Vikander in major films, further cementing her mainstream appeal. Lara has also become a merchandising powerhouse, with action figures, comics, novels, and brand collaborations. Her character evolved over time, especially in the 2013 reboot, to focus on her emotional depth, intelligence, and resilience, making her a symbol of empowerment for women worldwide. Lara Croft’s legacy has influenced not only the gaming industry, where she helped push the boundaries of storytelling and character-driven narratives, but also popular culture at large, where she remains an enduring icon.

We did it!

And of course, we have to talk about the next three games getting remastered too!

I'll be VERY honest with you, I straight up did not expect to see Angel of Darkness. I thought they were never ever gonna touch it again, and I wasn't even sure about Chronicles either, I thought that since they didn't do all five of the PS1 games together, the chances of them either doing Last Revelation & Chronicles or TLR alone were still slim. But it's one of the times that I am very glad to have been proven wrong!

As much as the Core purist community has made me retroactively wary of this era of the franchise, I understand and appreciate that these games still mean a lot to many people who are very normal and don't go out of their wave to make everyone else feel miserable, so to those people who had been fighting for AoD's return for so long I say congratulations, you deserve this, we all do.

Possible SPOILERS?

From what we can assume from the leaked Xbox achievement list, they are adding the Times Exclusive level in the Last Revelation, a very weird and very exclusive PC DLC that they released back in the day, sponsored by the London Times of all things, to commemorate sixty years since their coverage of the opening of Tutankhamen's tomb, no I'm not joking, and also adding back the dual pistols and corner shooting in AoD, stuff that were ultimately cut from the final version of the game. This could possibly mean that Angel of Darkness and Chronicles are not just getting a shiny new look but also possibly getting their very-well-documented game-crashing bugs fixed which is great.

I am very much willing and hoping to approach Chronicles and Angel of Darkness with an open mind and see if, with the new tweaks, they are not so bad after all. Neither of them are terrible games, only mediocre at worst, because even at her lowest, Lara still serves, but still, I think it's safe to say that this was, objectively, the lowest point in the series.

Now, I personally would hope that they will see it worthwhile to remove the cutscene where underage Lara is almost seen topless in Chronicles or is groped by Kurtis in Angel of Darkness, but I don't think they'd go that far. Still, a simple trigger warning like they did for the racist depictions in TRII and TRIII won't cut it this time.

But we're here to celebrate! Fingers crossed they add her opera dress in Chronicles, like they did for that horrid leopard print suit in Nightmare in Vegas, that would be an actual serve!

Also, this announcement only cements one thing in my mind... Next year in October we're celebrating the announcement of "Tomb Raider VII-VIII-IX Remastered, starring Lara Croft" and I swear, I will never shut up about it when it happens! Hopefully we we even get Guardian of Light too... Who knows!

#Tomb Raider #Lara Croft Tomb Raider #Lara Croft #Lara #Video Games #Gaming

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gildedmuse · 2 years ago

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So, most the One Piece fans in my life have been discussing the live action series, and, surprisingly, most with a hopeful tone. Which is great because, seriously, I'm too old and close to death to deal with either of the following preemptive attitudes:

"Look, I know trailer footage is not only often unfinished but not even always what gets included in the final project but based purely off the smallest of moments contained in this purely commercialized content, I can definitely state with absolutely no doubt that due to minor detail, the whole thing sucks"

"This will be just like I imagined it including all the changes I would make to canon that have never once been hinged at by those in charge, I just know it's going to be not just as awesome as I have created in my mind but even betyeyr and there is absolutely no way they'd ever make the slightest change that would somehow immediately ruin the entire property retroactively for me!"

The fact that most the people I interactive with are taking a positive but grounded attitude instead of determinedly antagonist or unhinged optimism is just... Nice. Really, really nice.

Most our discussions regard general aesthetic and what we think these creative choices indicate for the show, but there has been one area where 95% of all feedback has been glowly positive, and that is the actors. Seriously, every sneak peak trailer reveal brings about more fan-gushing from the bleachers (related note, this means that any characters we haven't seen gets more and more nails bitten short. Like, why haven't I seen the Benn Beckman? This is actually really important to me.)

This has lead to a lot of excitement for potential future cast members, including from the boys at my work. Which.... They are definitely fans, there is no denying that, but like... I don't think of as "those kinds of fans" .

But I'm always happy to be proven wrong.

AnimeDub Fan Coworker: I've never seen a more perfect live action adaptation than Mihawk in the trailer. The word. The eyes. The facial hair. Like damn.

Manga/Anime Fan Coworker: The cast looks so fucking on. I know this will never get a season 2, but if it did, the absolute dream would be for Jamie Lee Curtis to play Kureha.

Me: Yes, please. She's on my list of Characters I Have To See In Live Action. It's Law (obviously), Kid & Killer but particularly Killer, Ace of course, Robin because ROBIN, and Kureha who, yeah, is on the list cuz I want JLC or equivalent.

AD Fan: You just went off about how Garp was too hot but are cool with Jamie Lee Curtis as Kureha?

Me: Yeah, because unlike Garp, Kureha is canonically smoking.

AD Fan: Agree to disagree.

M/A Fan: They'll probably go for no names again like they did for this cast, but dream casting would be Alexandra Daddario as Robin. Boom.

M/A Fan: *With absolutely no further promoting from me* Ooooooh I got another fake casting. This one's for Kid. Cameron Monaghan.

M/A Fan: He's played crazy before too. And he's really good at it. He was pretty much "the Joker" in the show Gotham. AND he was the gay brother on Shameless. So he can totally be pirate married to Killer!

Me: *Desperately trying to remember when I mentioned in my work chat - that includes a few non-geeks, like not just not OP fans but just straight up not up with geek culture - that Kid and Killer were Pirate Married, a phrase which is very much so mine.*

Me: *Decides it doesn't matter and just gives self a point to converting yet another normal fan straight boy around to the correct view of Kid and Killer's relationship.* Now we just need someone who can pull off the perfect 80 glam rock star AND NHL defense player and we have two more Supernoves cast and ready to go.

I don't know how I keep convincing these straight boys who have probably never read a fanfic in their lives to get behind Kid/Killer as canonical Pirate Husbands, but when one of the major considerations for fan-casting is, "would Mina find him suitable gay with Killer?" you know you've won. I'm not sure what exactly, but it's definitely a win.

#this post is mostly for me #and for everyone out there who has ever had that sweet victory of convincing a nonshipper/nonfanfic inclined individual #that despite all realistic canon expectations #two characters are just super gay for each other #hey the Good Omens fandom did it; all hope is not lost #Kid x Killer #They're pirate husbands ya'll #pirate husbands #I clearly use that phrase too often if my coworkers have picked up on it #I did for a while wonder if when someone repeated it back if they truly understood that I didn't just mean that they're loyal and crewmates #'Oh you mean 'pirate husbands' like Shanks & Benn or Roger & Rayleigh?'#As a matter of fact yes that is exactly how I meant it #In that I am directly implying all those characters be fucking. Each other.#(not all at once obviously.... though Shanks would probably be down for that.... maybe not with Roger. Unless timetravel. Then yeah 100%)#one piece #one piece live action #one piece as as family activity!#/work activity #one piece casting #eustass kid #killer one piece #MurderChild #Still having trouble with a solid ship name for these two #when the normies join the fun #PS: yes everyone else in the work chat hated us #Don't care got coworkers to admit Kid and Killer be married #It's a good day when your friends accept the gay #amusing musings

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blackbloodteeth · 10 months ago

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just stumbled across your art for the first time & im very curious as to what exactly your starting point for creating soul variants was? by that i mean, what made you begin creating them in the first place, what served as the inspiration for all of this? id also like to add i scrolled your entire archive and i love how expressive your art is! apologies if youve already answered something like this as well. thank you, have a nice day!

Hey, thank you very much! I'm always so glad when people enjoy my varianting, and honestly that's really heartwarming that you went through my archive (especially since I still remember how long it took me to get all of my art up at the time onto here haha)

I've been asked similar questions to this before, but I don't mind it at all, it's always fun to answer even if the history on variants is actually a bit messy haha (to the point I had to kinda just pick a day for keeping track of the Variantverse's anniversary, which I actually use this drawing for reference since it's the first real time there were multiple AU Souls in one art haha).

I'm not joking about the history being messy by the way, you better strap in because this is not a question I'm usually able to answer in just a few neat sentences (for your time there will be art at the end though haha)

So basically, aside from the really old (I'm talking middle school old) AUs I had of Soul (which... don't really have updated art aside from being retroactively really important to Variantverse lore hah), variants initially started as me just finally joining the Soul Eater fandom and just doodling canon Soul in different ways. After that it basically went like I want to draw him in a different outfit, to I want to draw him as Pokemon (context like this involved Discord but that's another story hah), to okay, I want to draw him weird and no one can stop me, and then came one morning where I did a doodle session of drawing him in a lot of non-human designs for the fun of it.

This is the shortened version of it, because there were doodles in between including an entire comic saga and an entire AU that didn't end up on the Variant List (*until much later anyway) because the list hadn't been established yet. Have I mentioned the "List of Soul Variants," by the way? Some know way back when I used to keep a list of all the Soul variants I was making and even gave them all numbers (it was kind've a big deal to the point it was actual in-Variantverse lore), however shortly after it reached 1,000 variants the list went defunct (also a big deal) and I no longer keep track of how many there are. The numbers don't matter anymore, but it contextualizes some things haha.

Now to actually answer the question, where does "variants" start: #019. After the previously mentioned doodle session, I got a Thought™ after waking up to start a [secret project], however I needed a handful more variants for it, and ended up doodling some more. I honestly have no idea if I should still be calling it a secret considering it's been four years now and I never ended up drawing it up despite- Anyway, this is also exactly the point in time I started to call them all variants (theorized by me to be in reference to "regional variant" Pokemon, ones that take a new appearance when adapting to a new region).

So what inspired me? Simply because I just kept going. I started thinking of a reason the variants I'd made so far were all together during the events of [secret project??], I started thinking of a couple Souls watching over the event (that ended up becoming the main characters of the overarching story) and new unrelated variants that were goofing off in the background, I started thinking of an antagonist, not just tied to the events of this, but to the multiverse at large, and I started thinking up what happened afterwards. I ended up giving the first 25 variants lore when I wanted to flesh out their designs, I added new variants to interact with the overarching story, and I just kept doodling new variants for the hell of it, all because it was fun and even if I never really revealed what [secret project] was (at least to only more than a handful of people hah) people in the circles I was in really enjoyed seeing them. Need I remind you that I stopped keeping track of how many there were after about 1090 variants. So yeah, it just kept going.

I guess in a way this is more answering where does the Variantverse start, but it's such an integral core concept that I think is heavily responsible for this madness snowballing to begin with haha, and things like the "Soul Variant Emporium" (an entirely different inside joke) and different Souls interacting out in the multiverse still resurfaces from time-to-time in the little blurbs I give art. I'm just particularly fond of capturing variants from an angle as if writing Pokedex entries, which I think kinda loops back to that idea of where the word variant comes from.

Honestly I just really love character design, and Soul genuinely is my favourite character of all time, so it's very fun to combine the two (especially when integrating concepts I find I like, such as the mass amount of werewolves hah) and I couldn't be happier that people also get a kick out of it even if I feel just a little guilty I don't really draw non-Soul designs much anymore haha (and I will say the madness brought upon my ask box as been an absolute hoot). So yeah, to sum it up: It started because I just had doodle ideas, and I got inspired by never stopping having ideas and everyone unfortunate enough to be caught in my ramble radius happened to enjoy said ideas.

As promised (thank you for enduring, I hope this was at least interesting haha), here's the most notable early variants that got me rolling the snow around:

Awakened Soul is the one I mentioned starting off the later doodles with the idea of "variants" first in mind, but Trickster (giving Soul a new outfit), the Pokemon variants, and other Souls of other doodlings are also notable to the entire messy history as to where this all started. I'm still planning to continue trying to draw all of the 1000 variants of the old list eventually and I look forward to sharing all these silly Souls as always.

I swear I'll give the first AU Soul I'd ever drawn real art one day.

#ask #2024 art #traditional art #soul eater #soul variant #soul evans #rambles #long post #[dumptruck sounds] Variantverse lore dump incoming #that's why they call me the rambler #(no one calls me that)

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otome-mondays · 1 year ago

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Collar x Malice: Unlimited Review 🐈‍⬛

Ok I know I recently posted a Collar x Malice review, but I’m going in order I played these games. Who’s ready to jump back into the world of Collar x Malice! So some background info to start: this is the first fandisc I have ever played, and as of writing is the only one I’ve played. Because of this, I’m not generally sure what the standards are for fandiscs. I also played this back in 2021, so it has been a while. Please go back to my previous review on Collar x Malice for trigger warnings (use the otome mondays tag)

Spoilers Ahead

Prologue

So to start off this game, we have a separate prologue. You do have to play the prologue because it unlocks all the after stories. So let’s see how this game starts out! Well, for starters we have one of my least favorite things: retroactively adding characters and events that would’ve DEFINITELY been mentioned in the original if it happened. Yeah, needless to say I was not please at this start and quickly became frustrated having to unlock routes. Oh, right if you want to play anything else you have to unlock each boy’s route separately with their prologue choices. So fun! Let’s actually move on to what I bought the game for, 3/10.

Sasazuka Takeru 🍩

So for the after stories, I started with Sasazuka. I saw a recommendation to just pick one that you enjoyed but wasn’t your favorite or pick your favorite to start the game since there’s no need for a route order. I did originally place Sasazuka’s route as solid middle ground in terms of my favorite love interest and also route itself, so it seemed like a safe bet. And thank god it was! This one starts up after the events of his best ending and him rejoining the cyber crimes division. The main conflict here is that Sasazuka and Ichika are learning how to balance work and life and being in a relationship together. The pacing was pretty solid and even though it’s short, it’s enjoyable! If you liked Sasazuka’s route, you’ll enjoy this after story. 8/10.

Yanagi Aiji 🚬

I decided after Sasazuka’s route, I was going to get Yanagi’s out of the way. I do enjoy all the characters, but Yanagi is my least favorite out of the LIs here. After the events of Yanagi’s best ending, we have the start of the after story. Yanagi’s started his private detective agency and everybody’s getting back to normal life. That is until Yanagi’s older brother randomly shows up and threatens him to rejoin the police. So this story mostly focuses on that conflict. This is another cute and short story, so if you liked Yanagi’s route you will like his after story. 8/10.

Enomoto Mineo 🪭

I honestly picked this route next on a whim, and I’m glad I did! This story picks up after he’s been reinstated into Field Ops 2 and now the couple work in the same building. Enomoto’s route definitely focuses on him maturing and developing his relationship with Ichika, and it’s so refreshing to have a portrayal of a healthy relationship in a game (which is rich coming from me tbh). Thanks to his after story, he moved up spots on my favorite LIs list. Honestly I don’t see how anybody would dislike this route. 10/10.

Shiraishi Kageyuki 🐱

Shiraishi yet again stealing the show for some of the best writing…it’s a shame he has this weird extra character. I feel like it’s obvious, but this story has a lot of angst. Because of Shiraishi turning himself in and all of his crimes he committed, he’s under arrest and contained in a special cell. Unfortunately, random extra dude is the main issue in Shiraishi’s story. It is nice to see his growth though as a character. I feel like they did him dirty by making a third of his route flashbacks to the og game. 7/10, Shiraishi fans will probably enjoy but it could’ve been way better.

Okazaki Kei 🏃‍♂️

So I saved my favorite for last, and I’m glad I did! After the X-Day events have wrapped up, Okazaki returns to HQ and Ichika stays with SRCPO. This story also focuses on the two of them trying to navigate being in a relationship and work and life. I was a bit disappointed to see that Okazaki kind of regressed and goes through the same growth all over again but speed run edition. Even though it ends good, this story is kind of meaningless because of this. It isn’t a bad story, just disappointing. Sorry for all us Okazaki fans, 7.5/10.

Other Routes 🐈‍⬛

So let’s talk about the additional bonus routes. To play any of these extra stories, you do need to play through all the after stories. First, let’s go over the Adonis route. This takes place after Yanagi’s tragic end. Ichika joins Adonis after everybody she has cared for is murdered and Zero convinces her to join. It was nice to see Ichika interacting with the Adonis members and how they showed Ichika and Zero have a horridly toxic relationship. If you do want to see all this route has to offer, you do have to replay it a couple of times. Due to this, it’s a little more repetitive than enjoyable at points. Still nice additional content, 8/10. We also have some extended short stories, one from Kazuki’s perspective during X-Day, a semi-Minegishi route, and a semi-Yoshinari route. Kazuki gets an 8/10, Minegishi gets a 4/10, and Yoshinari gets a 7/10.

Overall Thoughts 🐈‍⬛

I like the idea of a fandisc and I think some elements were executed very nicely! Unfortunately, I do have a few issues with some of the content here (mainly the random dude being added and prologue entirely), but I still would recommend it for anybody who enjoyed Collar x Malice! 8/10

Since characters stay the same here, I’m not adding an LI ranking. I will add my route ranking though!

Route: Enomoto > Sasazuka > Yanagi > Adonis > Kazuki > Okazaki > Shiraishi > Yoshinari > Minegishi > Prologue

Resources 📝

I once again used CGs and screenshots from the game and I relied on Otome Kitten’s walkthroughs.

#otome mondays #collar x malice #minor spoilers #cg spoilers

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the-corset-witch · 1 year ago

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It's time to scrounge together all the random notes that I took on scraps of paper while listening to audiobooks at work and put them in the Obsidian. Most of my templates have come together, with different headings that can be taken out or added to underneath when needed. This all builds together into a new list of to dos!

Book Notes - New ones going forward will have the new template. Old ones will not need to be reconned, I'm lazy. However, I do want their Properties to all be the same, if I can find the information on my Goodreads Acct.

Templates - There's a few that still need polishing and getting these nailed down will enable me to safely add new Notes without worrying about having to retrofit them.

Tarot Card Database & Deck Studies - Speaking of retrofitting.......... The Properties on each card need to be redone since we've deleted the Reading Logs from the Properties. Since this is referenced the most, I want it looking tight. There's also the debate of how do I keep the Database across Multiple Decks, as the way I did it in Notion might not translate very well? Will I instead put that on the actual Deck Page, under Headings-- this is the idea I'm leaning toward. It allows a dive into each card's symbolism, and thus allowing the reading of the individual Deck's Card which could be linked influence the main Card Page? Is this making sense? That's a lot of Links, since I can just Ctrl+O any card, it might not be actually linked, and that's a lot of links for some card studies.

Condense The Closed Practices - When things like books have referenced Closed Practices in the past (ie, Chakras comes to the mind off the top of my head), I had an actual Note that detailed that Practice, Why it was Closed (to me), & How to Respect From A Distance. I want to put these notes all in one, there's only a handful, I think, so it should be pretty easy. I did a lot of 30DayGrimoire Challenges in 2020 where I took on a topic to learn about for 30 Days in order to expand my Grimoire. Unbeknownst to me when taking on some topics, they were indeed Closed to me, which was then noted and is how we got to where I am now, but these pages are relatively short, it'd be easy to reformat and condense them into one Note. Obsidian allows linking to Headings via [[Page#Heading]] so I think I'll end up using that if I ever need to reference any of these.

We're getting to the part where I want to flood the atmosphere of this Vault with new Notes, so I have decided to read pretty much everything I can this year, take all the notes I can, and Grow All I Can. EzPz.

This means the Grimoire side of things is coming together really nicely. The flip side, the Life Side, however, is very much lacking for 2024. I've been in a bit of a slump, we all know I struggle, we all struggle, no explanations needed. I have decided I am okay with doing things Retroactive, like Monthly Reviews for January-March. This opens a different chapter for the Vault, so I'll keep y'all posted on that as well.

#mine #witchcraft #mad rambles #grimoire #digital grimoire #bos #digital bos #obsidian.md #obsidian

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tenaciouschronicler · 6 days ago

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The Interlude

Currently taking a page from @homestuckreplay 's book and re-reading everything but with the added nonsense of also reading my old posts. Mostly because I wanted to see what bits I've asked and have been answered as the story progresses.

I'm still compiling a word doc of those questions and ponderings and am already rolling in revelations. For example! Page 235, the walkaround of Johns home, the at the time unknown to us Wandering Vagabond had an intense hatred for Harlequins. At the time it was just funny but given what we know now, and what he did to the ACURSED MASCOT, the hatred makes sense.

Im hoping to make a post of still unanswered questions and retroactive connections like the above. As well I want to get a list of topics that I want to dive further into and a master doc of answered/debunked stuff for myself.

In other news, does anyone have a panel or image they would like to see cross stitched? With more time on my hands, especially on Saturdays at the market, I want to return to the hobby and think it'd be cool to make.

Anyways, back to reading I go!

#homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp liveblog #sam tenaciously chronicles

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cyanogen-miasma · 7 months ago

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I was working on the Galilean moons and Ganymede straight up just looks like a taxpaying adult

Jupiter: "hi hello yes this is my man-child"

I generally see larger moons as being older, considering Ganymede is not much smaller than Mars I feel fine giving him the maturity of a planet, however size isn't really everything, whether something orbits the sun or not is usually a much better indicator - e.g. Pluto is 'older' than Lune even though he is smaller because Pluto orbits the Sun and the Moon orbits Earth.

Of course, the history of the astronomical body plays a part as well - for example Triton is likely to have originated as a dwarf planet who got captured by Neptune's gravity than a moon that was formed under Neptune's gravity, so he acts more like a planet than a moon, and has a more brotherly relationship to Neptune.

Really, any moon that could have been considered a dwarf planet (I don't know if we can predict whether they'd have been able to clear their orbit if they orbited the sun, but I'd imagine if they were Mercury's size or larger it would be a given) if it orbited the Sun instead of its parent planet has a more 'adult' personality. Honestly, the Moon could count in this, the only reason why Lune is more youthful is because I like the parent-child dynamic with her and Tellus. Basically, it's not a hard and fast rule.

I was going to say 'back to Charon', but I then realised that I had not mentioned Charon - so we're talking about Charon. Definitely an adult, following the example of Ganymede but scaled down to dwarf planet size. Charon is bigger than Quaoar, which would make it the seventh largest dwarf planet if it were considered a dwarf planet instead of a moon. The whole orbit thing it has with Pluto is enough for me to put the characters on the same level of maturity as each other.

Interestingly, if Triton still orbited the Sun, it would be the largest dwarf planet. I think Pluto thinks about that.

Moons that are adults: Ganymede, Callisto, Io, Titan, Titania, Oberon, Triton, Charon

Moons that are teenagers: Lune, Europa, Rhea, Iapetus, Dione, Tethys, Umbriel, Ariel, Dysnomia, Vanth

(Key: Tellus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, other dwarf planets)

it's a good thing nobody else has moons that qualify because I ran out of colours

don't ask me what the cutoff point is that makes Io an adult and Europa a teenager, I think it's because Europa is smaller than the Moon but I'm not so sure, it isn't an amazing justification

with Saturn's moons you have to be a bit strict considering just how many there are, so only Titan gets to be an adult

for Uranus' moons, Titania and Oberon are almost the same size so I'd imagine they'd have an especially twin-like relationship, like Uranus himself has with Neptune. They are quite a bit larger than Umbriel and Ariel, who are also a twin pair. That is kind of weird for Uranus, that the four largest moons come as two pairs of almost equal size...the Uranian system is all kinds of wacky I love it

none of Neptune's other moons are in any way qualified to have any kind of maturity, they are like specks compared to Triton

and all of the other Transneptunian moons are kids. Actually, in terms of their relative sizes (everything out there is in miniature), Dysnomia (moon of Eris) and Vanth (moon of Orcus) could be teenagers! I don't mind that! I am retroactively adding these to the teenager list! But that's it! The rest are all kids!

#space cats #ganymede #jupiter #callisto #io #titan #titania #oberon #charon #lune #europa #rhea #iapetus #dione #tethys #umbriel #ariel #dysnomia #vanth #luna

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waterolivecoffiyeh · 1 year ago

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Replying to Puppyluver256

Well, I see I finally have your attention. @puppyluver256

You'll have to excuse me if I couldn't reply sooner given the waterfall of word vomit I had to slog through for anything relevant. It was incredibly hard to pinpoint your actual response when you're simultaneously rambling about everything and nothing at all.

Additionally, it's hilarious that you think sprinkling random videos into your reply makes your points more valid. If anything, it just makes you look like you can't formulate a proper rebuttal without turning this into a dumb meme. Way to demonstrate how little you actually care about the topic.

But since you’ve decided to finally acknowledge what I’ve written, I will address everything you wrote, irrelevant as some topics may be and unlike you, I will not be lazy and ”skim through”. If I don’t cover a specific thing, it’s because I’ve either already stated my opinion elsewhere or I didn't care enough to discuss it.

And by the way? Confessing that you just skimmed through my blog shows me you still don’t understand a single word of what I’ve been saying as your response is so tactless, disorganized, and rife with paranoia.

Oh, and if you’re going to be "using my words" actually take time to read what I said vs "what you remember”. In fact, here's a link. Anyone who's reading this post can see exactly what I said. I'd have added a quote to this post but my response to you is already far too long and my old post is possibly even longer.

But I’ve stalled enough. Let’s comb through this mess together, shall we? Do try, and extend the same courtesy I’m giving you by actually reading my reply this time. Perhaps you will learn something.

Firstly, I’m going to get this out of the way since it really stuck in your craw: The misgendering.

1. You have not been going exclusively by they/them pronouns for years. I had been a follower for years prior to my departure and even when I returned when this whole debacle started, you still had she/they listed as your preferred pronouns on your blog and on other socials. You had she/they up for years. It was only within the past two weeks you made the switch (at the time of this post’s original upload). 2. I've paid enough attention to you to know this was a recent change, so if my older posts still say "she" that's because you still had female pronouns displayed on your blog at the time they were originally written. Trying to retroactively accuse me of transphobia is completely disingenuous. 3. Furthermore, if you wanted to be known exclusively by they/them you should have nixed the "she" stuff long ago. Additionally, my recent post doesn't even use "she" so stop trying to rage-bait anyone reading this with the narrative of me being transphobic. I'm LGBT+ too and frankly, I’m disappointed someone who’s in the same community would stoop to such a level.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let's get right to the heart of things: Addressing the holes that make your argument about Israel VS Palestine null and void.

I’m going to straight out call you a liar about you having known about Palestine for 20+ years.

1. If that was truly the case it would infer you knew how sensitive this subject was the entire time and still choose to believe your own interpretations of events instead of the actual facts. 2. You wouldn't have worded your so-called "freeverse" poetry so vaguely at a time when news of the genocide was breaking. Yes, you could have still said you felt helpless, but you chose to spin the current news of Israel vs Palestinian as a consequence of religious dogma, which it is not (more on this point further down). 3. Your “freeverse" poetry is nothing more than a bunch of melancholy platitudes where you lament your ineffectiveness and wail "Oh, woe is me! Won’t someone please comfort poor little me?” Frankly, that's the majority of your posts. They have always been tiny soapboxes for you to stand on to whinge and whine about how a specific situation affects you selfishly, treating your personal discomfort as more important than any actual victims of said situation. 4. This claim you care too much? It's a load of BS. You’re insincere to others and lying to yourself. If you truly did care, you'd take a hot second to actually read my blog. Leaving the poem up is just you not wanting to admit it's tone-deaf and a poorly uneducated take. If you truly learned anything you would have either removed it or added an addendum about why it was harmful, but you don’t want to do either because then it would draw more attention to you and you might actually be held accountable for something for once. 5. All of the posts that I archived coincide with dates of big news coming out of Palestine and they are either passive-aggressive or purposefully vague. I told you before whatever you're complaining about you're not the least bit subtle. If you didn't want people to scrutinize what you wrote, you wouldn't post certain things online and quietly keep your certain thoughts to yourself. 6. Don't use the excuse of "Well it's my blog!" to dodge accountability. When you use social media like a personal journal, everyone can see your opinions and since this is SOCIAL MEDIA, emphasis on the word “social”, anyone can respond. It's like reading your diary out loud to strangers in a crowded room. Everyone can hear you and they may have an opinion about what you wrote and it may not be what you want to hear. People can and will call you out. You are not free from criticism or rebuttal just because it’s a personal opinion. Consequence free speech does not exist. The moment you open your mouth, you are opening yourself up to a response from someone else be it positive, negative, or neutral. Trying to hide behind a shield of “Don’t reply to me! This is my personal space!” makes you appear weak in conviction. 7. Touting your atheism and your “secular humanism” as if makes you intellectually superior or more empathetic is self-aggrandizing and frustrating to watch. Pretending to be more intelligent because you don’t believe in God does not make you better than those who hold faith in their hearts. Playing this role as the untouchable enlightened who has seen the truth unlike the “masses of ignorant sheep” who believe in a higher power is what egotistical jackasses do and it’s a bad look. You’re every bit the Strawman archetype for the “Insufferable Atheist”. You’re almost at parody levels of cliché.

Just look at this paragraph you wrote without a shred of irony:

“I may be an atheist, but more importantly I am a secular humanist, and before knowing the latter term and taking on that label I was still an atheist even at the time, so the religious argument of “god gave them that land, they own that land” would never have worked on me the way it seems to with so many people. And tbh I don’t even know if that’s an argument that the Israeli government themselves put forward (it’s a terrible argument no matter who put it forward), but I do know that Christian fundamentalist extremists say things like that in their push for “god’s people” to return to "their god-ordained homeland” so they (the Christian extremists, I mean, just so we don’t get confused here) can try to usher in the end of the world based on the drug trip of a final volume in their bizarre storybook and no I am not kidding that is literally what they believe.”

Way to give yourself a pat on the back for a way of thinking millions of other people also share. You’re not the only atheist living in the Bible Belt. You’re not that special or unique.

If you were knowledgeable about the conflict in the Middle East you would speak from the socio-political perspective and not reduce this tragedy to a simple religious war (as if those too aren’t also extremely nuanced and complicated). Do you want to know how I know this? You contradict yourself in the very next paragraph:

”You must inform anyone you come across of this travesty. You must not let them look away either. But the suffering will continue regardless. They are all convinced they are in the right, all fighting for the will of a god that they will never confirm to be real, in fact the same god in wildly different interpretations. All the while, the innocents caught in the crossfire will continue to die, glorified in the disgusting “honor” known as martyrdom."

…Do you not see the irony here?

Tell me you didn’t imply this is situation is a religious war right there. Your words alone are tell me you believe it's solely religiously motivated and nothing more.

Let me tell you something. It's not.

The genocide of Palestinians can be rooted in the fact that Israel is basically an illegal colonization and occupation of land. People were forced to leave their homes, losing them in the process and then having Israel settlers move in and take over. Anyone with half a brain and a lick of common sense knows for a fact that Israel is trying to kill off the natives to take this land. Don't you dare blame the Palestinians! Most of us do not blame the Jews or the Muslims for this conflict.

Also? "Crossfire?" Please enlighten me where the crossfire is because most of the time it's Israel causing the destruction and killing. There is no crossfire when the Palestinians are the intended targets. Or are you gonna bring out Hamas as another excuse for calling it a crossfire…if you even know who or what Hamas is.

And the most insulting thing of all is that you sit, comfy and safe thousands of miles away from the horror of this reality, blaming both sides simply because they have faith in the same kind of God. Their religious texts may not be the same as the Christian fundamentalist extremists but they have the same roots. Calling any religious text a “bizarre storybook” is a disgusting insult. For someone who claims to be a “secular humanist” you seem to lack a core component of humanity. Your inference that if only both sides dropped their beliefs and chose logic & reason over faith & God, the blinders would fall off and they would instantly come to their senses, stop fighting, and be at peace.

That is not how real life works.

Religion is not the end all be all seed of all evil that sows discord all over the globe and it’s repulsive you believe it could ever be that simple. Even if EVERYONE in the Middle East adopted your perspective, there would still be pain and suffering. It would still be a genocide in that region. You have a lot of audacity to reduce this down to such a trifling matter, much less say and believe it.

You think you’re the smartest person in the room because you can’t be “fooled” into believing in God? In reality, you’ve shown your ass to the world with how callous and apathetic you are. And I’m not interested in your grandstanding of how decent you are.

And if you want to continue to deny it? Look at your own damn tags:

Side note? You should take the advice listed and grab a snack and a drink because we’ve barely scratched the surface. We’re going to talk about your justifications and excuses for why you can’t handle this news (Spoiler: none of them are valid).

“This is something that is not going to surprise anyone who knows me to hear: I have the emotional constitution of an improperly set flan.”

Tell me something I don’t know. In fact, how about you tell me how you’ve made it to your age without learning how to strike the proper balance between staying informed and not being burnt out from information overload.

You claim you want to hide from “the horrors of the world while online for the sake of your own sanity”. I have some very bad news for you: that environment no longer exists. The internet is no longer a niche little ecosystem that only a few people have access too. Everyone and their mother has a Facebook, a Twitter, an Instagram, etc. and that includes news organizations and major corporations. These days information travels faster. We live in a world where we can get live updates happening in real time which is absolutely paramount when so much news is actually being censored. But I’ll go over that later. I want to focus on this part specifically:

“Every single post about it, tweet about it, insertion into a video I was watching that gave no prior indication it would even remotely talk about it, it kept breaking my heart little by little, especially as I could do nothing to help and the charged language of everything was written to basically shame anyone who didn’t do anything regardless of whether or not they were actually capable of doing so.”

Of course people are talking about this! Its major news that has a global impact on so many things especially your country! We are potentially about to get involved in another so-called “war” that will last 20+ years and cost trillions of dollars! There are people who still don’t know if their loved ones are alive or dead because they’re being held hostage by amoral monsters who will kill them without second thought. Everyone is afraid for the future. Try to step outside yourself for a few seconds and look at the big picture.

No one is asking you to donate everything you own, join all the boycotts, or get involved in every debate and discussion. You always had the ability to choose your level of engagement, even none at all. Yet what you fail to grasp time and time again is that if you want to have an opinion on Palestine, you have to stay informed. You can’t reject information because it upsets you and then turn around and state your opinions on said subject even vaguely. You can’t have it both ways.

And you can tell me till you’re blue in the face your “freeverse” poem and all those other posts were not about Palestine. I do not believe you. You are trying to sneakily weasel your way into the discussion in a way that prevents anyone from replying because the slightest pushback leaves you running scared, blocking to avoid any productive conversation.

Also? I just have to ask: Where are these pictures of dead bodies you’re talking about? I have been plugged into multiple news outlets and even some accounts right at the source and I have not seen even a fraction of this “gruesome injury and death” you speak of. You phrase it as if it’s just a 24/7 parade of gore to mentally scar you. You’re the one in control of what you see. No one is holding your eyes open as you oh so dramatically put it. The onus is on you to enforce your boundaries, which by the way, are for your protection not to correct or change everyone else’s behavior.

Don’t like what someone posts? Unfollow them.

Don’t like when a video starts talking about Israel vs Palestine? Skip ahead or close out.

Don’t want to read posts about it? Keep scrolling part.

Try to actually learn how to properly use the tools you have instead of complaining that total strangers who wouldn’t know you from Adam aren’t catering to your incredibly specific sensibilities. Maybe take a look at your block list and see if some of the things on there are really worth losing sleep over.

As for the rest of section 2?

“All of this on top of my more direct struggles–adjusting to a new house I never wanted to move to in a location I never wanted to even visit again.”

It’s been a year and half since you posted you were moving. You’re telling me you still haven’t adjusted to your new home?

“learning to care for a new dog and never getting enough time to get anything done as a result, constantly getting bitten by said dog”

You are seriously blaming your dog for contributing to your “heartache”? Really? That’s the level we’re at? Frankly? You don’t sound like a responsible pet owner either. You adopted that dog last September and you’re still struggling with training? In my opinion, you could benefit from spending even more time with him. Less opportunities to get mired in the news and decompress mentally.

“the brand new house constantly falling apart either due to shoddy workmanship or because of Dog”

Old houses need a lot more work but in general you need to follow basic upkeep so things continue to run smoothly. And if your dog is destroying things, he’s not getting the proper attention/training.

“never getting enough sleep anymore (admittedly through no one’s fault but my own)”

You are quite literally your own worst enemy.

“pulling my hair out over all this stress and then stressing out over that in a vicious cycle of bald”

If that is the case, you seriously need to seek help to figure out a proper way to manage your stress levels. It should never get this bad. However, everything else before it? The move? The house repairs? The dog? These are just the daily routines of everyday life. If this is the “worst” it gets then you’re already doing better than most. You should feel incredibly blessed you even have a home, a pet, and a living family. The Palestinians don’t even have the remains of their loved ones to properly bury. Try to keep things in perspective. It’ll keep you humble and grounded.

Now, shifting gears to things that are only tangentially related because you're incapable of staying focused on the main topic, your "Fandomazation of Tragedy" section is ridiculously over-bloated with random nonsense totally unrelated to my criticism but I will address it since you felt you had to include it. I’m only doing this because there is one specific paragraph that truly enrages me so I’ll cover that first.

1. I know and have seen people show support for Palestine via edits, gifs, cartoons, or game characters because that was what they felt they could do to show solidarity and support. And if not that, they are boosting other support posts.

You want to claim it's tasteless and wrong for people to make Fakémon for Palestine? I'll tell you what's truly tasteless. This right here:

“I’m sure you can gather what Fakemon is through context, fan-made Pokemon, something I’ve heavily gotten into myself via the Cantessy project and at least three planned future Fakemon projects, and have been following plenty of artists and collaborative creators in the field for years now.”

Using genocide as a springboard to plug your fanfics and art? This is NOT the time nor the place to promote your fan projects! There is ZERO reason this should have been included! How dare you try to siphon attention away from an actual genocide and turn it into an opportunity to get more attention, followers, and feedback. How dare you try to milk this for your gain. And finally, how dare you criticize people using art as a means to express viewpoints or work through the emotions associated because it intrudes on your precious little playground while you try to poach new followers. That's true hypocrisy right there.

2. Cartoons and game characters have been used to make political statements for years (WW2 shorts via Disney and Loony Toons anyone?) This is not a new trend. FREE HONG KONG was just a few years ago after the controversy with Blizzard siding with China. This sort of thing isn't new and it’s not going away.

Side note? I've seen you complain about seeing Palestinian stuff in Splatoon 3 plazas, yet at the very bottom of your response to me is a manta ray character with a watermelon design. You wouldn't be using that to support Palestine if you honestly believed using fandom in political talking points was so "wrong".

And since Pokémon is your favorite fandom judging by your recent fanart series, need I remind you that when PETA tried to take potshots at this franchise for promoting animal abuse, there was a slew of pushback from its fandom in the form of fanart? They openly mocked PETA for trying to push their agenda on a fantasy game and claimed Nintendo and Game Freak supported animal abuse. Does that count as “unsettling” to you because it brings in real-world issues to light-hearted media…or does this one get a pass because it aligns with your personal system of ideals?

3. People do this sort of fanart to come to terms with stressful situations or to show solidarity with others because if there is anything we all have in common it’s the cartoons we watch, the comics we read, and the video games we play. Fandoms cross international borders. Those artists who make pro-Palestine art do so to connect with others to say, “Hey, I see you. You’ve not been forgotten. We’re with you.” And maybe, just maybe, those things can provide a little bit of comfort and support for people trapped in the middle of this nightmare. God knows they deserve a moment of levity and solace.

That being said if that sort of thing really doesn’t gel with you, that’s fine. But you need to understand other people feel differently. Furthermore? There is still plenty of non-politicized fanart out there. Yet you get so worked up when you stumble across anyone who posts pro-Palestine related fanart in your wanderings that you obsess over it and then sulk for hours before going online and crying about how you can’t escape “The Current Bad Thing That’s Been Happening Lately”. It’s absolutely pathetic for someone your age to act this way.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let’s get back on track: Your so-called "state of decision paralysis”.

That is a weak excuse for why you haven't do thing one to demonstrate your supposed support despite asserting it multiple times in your response. Saying you don't know what to boost? You don't know what's actual real vs fraudulent?

Well, Mx."I've known about the Palestinian conflict for 20+ years" you'd know if you were actually tuned into the issue, did a tiny bit of research to see which posts were gaining traction, checked their authenticity, or even followed Palestinians online. So yeah, that argument? It doesn’t track. And it’s contradictory too. For someone who claims to have over two decades of knowledge on this subject, you seem to know only two things: Jack and Shit.

1. Saying delving too deep into this subject would shut you down entirely? Apparently not since you had knowledge of this conflict before anyone else? You must be an oracle if you were able to see 20 years into the future! 2. Hesitant to donate because you’re weary of malicious scams? While understandable you can still find established charities like the UNRWA to provide relief or if you truly can’t spare the money, look into the backgrounds of those funds to see where the money is going so you can include links in your bio or boost posts that have them listed. 3. Can’t attend a protest? No one said it was required. I don’t know why you’re letting the charged language of more vocal or active supporters have so much influence over you like this. Can you really not weed out the impassioned from the manipulative? And don’t delude yourself into thinking getting arrested would have any impact on your parents. You’re over 18. You’d be responsible for you.

Oh but wait! The protests you are involved in are coincidental! Well, that balances out!

…I’m being sarcastic by the way if you can’t tell.

Saying you unknowingly have been joining the boycotts cause you avoided Starbucks/Walmart/McDonald's up until recently? That doesn't count if you weren't aware of the movement when it started, so stop trying to score brownie points from your followers.

The simple truth is you didn't want to boost anything because it didn’t fit the aesthetic of your blog so don't come online claiming you can't make a decision. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You only recently reblogged that one post to try and save face. If you truly cared about this situation then your blog would reflect that fact.

And now the last paragraph in section three and the entirety of section four: That I ”misrepresented your posts" and your issues with how people write "censor tags."

If you’re concerned about people misinterpreting your posts, you need to consider reviewing what you wrote before it goes up. With how much you complain over the news, anyone who watches you would assume you were making more digs at Palestine. And when you add that to the passive-aggressive posts you’ve already made, it's not hard to draw certain conclusions.

“I was being vague for the purposes of letting anyone fit in whatever thing they’d find upsetting and needing to filter, and that was deliberately taken as me dismissing a very specific travesty.”

Yeah. No. That does not line up with the timeline of breaking news and when you posted.

“In my case, I often times forget entirely to clear out my filters when I’m in a mindset to not need them anymore.”

Then why are you getting angry at being, in your own words, “tragedy-jump scared” when you’re the one who took the filters off in the first place? Why are you upset other people are still talking about an ongoing situation they want to know about instead of hiding themselves to protect your sensitive soul? And that leads me into the second paragraph…

Your complaint about how people misspell tags to get past the censors.

…I’m going to give you a quick crash course in Internet History because you either don't seem to understand the why: People wouldn't need to change the spelling of those tags if it wasn't being seen as something to already censor. The reason that type of "misspelling" began was because POCs were being censored for talking about their trauma and personal experiences by non-POCs. They became uncomfortable with POCs talking about racism, rape, suicide, gun violence, police brutality, abuse, drugs, alcohol. The POCs used purposeful misspellings so they could stop being harassed by non-POCs for making them uncomfortable or getting their stuff taken down. But before long, this practice migrated outside of Tumblr and has now been adapted by people who did not understand the original origin and it snowballed from there.

People like you always cry about how you hate seeing certain topics brought up but then turn around to complain about misspelled tags and how it trivializes serious subjects. People like you create these conditions and then act clueless about why it so. And why? Because you try to push your boundaries on other people to change their behavior instead of taking yourself out of the environment causing you stress. THAT is what true boundaries are.

However, tag censorship is your own personal pet peeve to deal with and I've wasted too much time on this tangent. It is seriously so hard to stay on message when you go off random topics unconnected to the core issue. Can’t help but feel that’s intentional to obscure things. I guess it works for you though. If you can’t counter an argument, just wear the other person down into giving up. Brevity must not be a word you’re unfamiliar with.

Too bad for you I’m actually willing to pick your response apart sentence by sentence so let’s get to the conclusion which for some reason is the longest section! I’m going to be jumping around a lot. Try to keep up.

1. I said earlier that Palestinian news is being suppressed as hell online here in the West. Getting news straight from the source is very important in situations like this. Suppression of information is detrimental to us as a whole so if people need to circumvent mass media censorship to tell the world what's really going on, so be it. I will stand in support of them. That will always matter more to me than the whims of advertisers or the lobbyists who have these companies in their pockets. Or in this specific case, the emotions of one sad blogger. 2. Just as I have the right to this information, you too have the right to burrow your head in the sand and remain blissfully unaware. You're an adult. You have the power to just close a tab or block anyone you wish. You have a lot of tools to curate your feed but you can’t do that and it’s not because its everywhere you look. It’s because if you truly cut yourself off, you’d have nothing of substance to say…not that you had much substance to begin with. You need a reason to complain. It helps you feel self-important. 3. The fact that a huge portion of your response was tangents about tag censorship, using fandom as a platform for political discussion, and retroactively joining boycotts demonstrates that you can't even give Palestine the attention it deserves, miring the issue with personal anecdotes or mindless prattle.

To put it bluntly, you're not someone who can have a mature conversation with me.

“You carefully made sure there was no way I would find your blog and your targeted harassment under normal circumstances–even with that one instance of you commenting directly on my post that led to me blocking you.”

The reason for this is right there in your very own words. I confronted you outright rather than trying to hide in your DM’s and you instantly block evaded me to avoid any further conversation. I had to resort to these backward measures of archiving because you cut all communication instantly. How can any effective communication be had when the other person chooses to run away rather than address the issue?

“You’d tagged all of your posts with tags you either knew or suspected I would have filtered via vanilla Tumblr so that I could not see it while logged in even if I unblocked you or told Tumblr to show me your blog despite my block, or perhaps you blocked me on that blog and Tumblr finally fixed the issue of blocked users being able to view the blogs of those that blocked them.”

Considering your block/filter list probably goes into the hundreds? I’m not surprised you couldn’t find me initially. And by the way, you’re still not blocked on my blog. You’re welcome to respond at any time. And unlike you, I won’t try to hide.

“Hell, I only found out about this in the first place from a mere google fluke, trying to make sure my own inattentiveness on a completely unrelated issue didn’t lead to someone doing exactly what you’ve done on that issue and just so happening to be on an incognito window while doing so.”

Gotta say that’s a hell of a coincidence. Also gotta say I don’t believe it for one damn second.

As far as I've witnessed, you’re extremely reactionary and simply unable to tolerate it when you get called out so don't try to hold me to a standard you yourself don't follow. I've seen how you interact with people who challenge you or disagree with you, including going out of your way to pester folks in their online space to provoke a reaction before you block evade, and then congratulate yourself as if you outwitted them and laugh "haha another hater”. This has always been about your attitude and your ignorance on subjects you don’t truly understand, putting your personal spin on things because of your own internal biases.

You’ve stated in your response that I’m guilty of harassment and running a smear campaign. I have to ask: What harassment? Pointing out your hypocrisy is not harassment. Informing other people of your true nature is not harassment. I’ve never used slurs or insults based on your identity. I’ve never doxxed you. I’ve never threatened to physically hurt you. Not liking someone is not harassment no matter how much it hurts your feelings.

If this was an actual smear campaign, why is it everything I’ve linked back to your blog still the same as when I first took the screencaps? If you consider sourced words with proper links a "smear campaign" that tells me you’re actually very afraid everything you’ve ever said coming back to bite you in the ass. This isn’t cruelty as you described. It’s pointing out all the holes in your arguments and letting your followers decide if they want to follow someone with such a judgmental view of the world.

“You don’t intend to make the world a better place by doing this, not in the slightest. No, instead you’ve just berated the “snowflake trigglypuff” for trying to keep their “safe space” intact, while painting that sentiment in the language of the social justice warrior you believe yourself to be rather than that of the crazy altright loser I believe (or at least hope) you’d find as repulsive as I do so that no one would clue in that that is in fact what you were doing.”

You really are projecting a lot.

Saying I’m co-opting the language of a social justice warrior? Suggesting I’m alt-right? You’re grasping at straws more than a choking sea turtle.

And calling yourself a “snowflake trigglypuff” even in jest? Who still uses edgy SJW terminology like this anymore? I think this says more about who you are than anything it could about me. I don’t need to reduce myself to dated insults like those. I can come up with far more effective wording to describe how callously ignorant you are.

“Clearly someone who thinks it’s in any way appropriate to tell someone, and I’m quoting mostly from memory as it’s been months, “I’m sure all those dead kids are glad you’re protecting your mental health” has NO sense of shame whatsoever. If I were to stoop to your level, I’d tell you that those same dead kids are probably really proud of you for harassing someone who has, at worst, made some tactless statements out of frustration.”

You are right about one thing, however. Those same “dead kids” don’t care about your mental health or about me calling you out. But this isn’t about those “dead kids”. It's about their families and friends who may still be alive. It’s about the other children who have been lucky enough to not been slaughtered. It’s about people who will suffer generational trauma and PTSD for the rest of their lives. It’s about the same people who may end up dying by their own hands because they can’t live in pain any longer. They’re the ones I’m concerned about.

The dead don’t care. The living do. The opposite of caring is not hatred. It’s indifference. And that’s why I’m speaking out against people like you who take the suffering of others and make it their platform to soliloquy about their first world hardships. So, to borrow a very old Tumblr-ism, I would check your privilege.

“I don’t believe for a second that you actually give two shits about the plight of the Palestinian people beyond some vague sense of "clout.”

Clout? Seriously? If I was interested in immaterial nonsense like that, do you think I’d be posting on Tumblr exclusively where things like “clout” don’t matter to anyone? No. I would be posting this everywhere to reach more people. The reason it’s only on Tumblr is because it’s where you primarily spend your time. It’s the only place you can be reached, where you can’t ignore me.

“I looked at your blog, its layout themed around the symbols of Palestinian liberation, and as far as I can tell it’s all just window dressing.”

And your poetry and posts are just soapboxes for you to puff yourself up or use as “cudgels”, as you say, to pester people into reading stories about your fan-made Pokémon region. Yet you want to accuse me of clout-chasing and using dead kids to bully you? Yeah. Okay. /s

Do you truly believe I’m doing this for attention? For some imaginary internet points to “win”? Win what exactly? What game do you believe we’re playing? There are no winners, only one loser talking out their ass.

Oh and as for this?

“Hell, with the vindictive nature of your blog, you’d think you'd’ve even had posts targeting other peoples who are at best trying to get on with their lives through the 24-hour news cycle of death and destruction or at worst actively supporting the deaths of innocents. (I still wouldn’t encourage such things, but it’d at least make sense given your general vibe).”

There’s nothing vindictive about cataloging these posts and making sure you can’t hide your judgmental nature behind that paper thin veneer of wholesomeness you try to fool people with. The reason I called you out specifically is because you’re a two-faced jackal. That’s the true core of my dislike of you: Presenting an image of niceness while hiding the vileness behind fluffy words and emotionally manipulative language to make people feel sorry for you.

You're not someone to support as an artist. Frankly, you're not a wholesome person either. You're judgmental, emotionally immature, and have a lot of issues, issues you couldn't even pay me to address. I don’t know what you need but it’s something well above my pay grade to diagnose.

And finally we’re going to close this disaster out by talking about your suspicions of my identity. I’m going to summarize because a lot of it is repetitive from earlier points or in the section itself.

You’ve identified me as “H” and for a short while believed I was someone called “A”. You believed that “A” was upset by you and took their frustration out on you, leading you to unfollow “A”. You later realized that wasn’t the case and are now referring to me as “H” (for Harasser). Clever.

I'm not “A” or “H” or any other letter of the alphabet. You’re just upset you don't know how else to address me because I’m smart enough to not leave so much of my personal details online. Whatever happened 4 years ago with whoever? That's not me. Try and not be so quick to assume before you start pointing fingers. You make yourself look paranoid. If you’ve got beef with other people, make sure you're addressing the right person at the least.

I already said multiple times I was a follower of yours and only called you out about the Palestinian stuff because I was appalled that someone I once saw as a good kind person morphed into a self-centered jackass who had no problem using a tragedy as a means to emotionally manipulate people into paying attention to them. If you don't believe me, that's on you. But if anyone uses this genocide as bait for their own little pity party, I'm not afraid to draw attention to it. And since you claimed to have known about the Palestinians for more than 20+ years, I’m holding you even more accountable to get it right and act gracefully.

“Maybe you’ve gone after more than just them, but these are the two I know of for certain. M told me directly, and I saw C’s post about getting an anon “warning” her about someone with an “anti-religion agenda”, and because I’m not a complete moron I could put two and two together because that’s the kind of bullshit religious people spread about atheists all the damn time.”

The only person talking about religion here is you. What I’m doing is pointing out how your animosity towards religion has given you a bias towards the Israel vs Palestine situation because you can’t see past the faith of people in that region. I merely pointed out your concerning behavior to your mutuals because “M” and “C” have the right to know your true character. Friends should not be complicit when one of them is acting poorly.

“Like I’ve said numerous times, I’d take a dozen progressive theists over one asshole atheist.”

Those same progressive theists? They want nothing to do with you. Not even other atheists would want you. You are the asshole atheist in this scenario because you are incapable of thinking critically and simply write off the whole genocide as religious zealots fighting over the Holy Land because God told them to. It always comes back to this. You keep making the genocide about martyrdom so it's easier to maintain your hatred of all things religion. “But you are no hero, nor am I a villain, and I would not be so gauche as to claim the reverse is true either. We’re just a couple of randos on the internet, one who has an unhealthy level of vitriol toward the until-recently clueless other.”

And finally, we come to the point where you try to appeal to my sense of empathy by a generic “we’re all people at the end of the day” sentimentality, going even so far as to say that you’d never claim I was the villain. You’re not going to placate me this way. Stop trying to minimize your actions and act like they are inconsequential. They’re the earmarks of a person with poor morale character. You asked what I hope to gain from doing this?

I want you to drop this façade and either do better or start being honest. You’re full of false sincerity and niceness, pretending to be the bigger person while also muttering your petty disdain for people who don’t think like you, like what you like, or share your exact beliefs. You hide it subtly in the way you write. You think you’re above reproach. You’re the judgmental rotten soul you see in everyone else.

The only reason you'll end up as a "Persona non grata" is because how you present yourself online will eventually catch up with you. At some point, everyone will grow tired of watching you spinning your wheels and gaining no traction anywhere. They will move on to something that's actually worth their time. But until then I will continue to warn others about you and show them your true personality. Take the advice you gave me: Fix yourself and do better or disappear into irrelevance and be forgotten.

PS:

“Whatever your goal was with that, it was your final mistake, because now I know exactly who you are.”

Your threat has no teeth. If you really knew who I was, you’d name me or you'd at least open up a conversation with me. But you won’t. You never will. You’ll continue to cower away while putting on a mask of confidence and arrogance, thinking you outsmarted me until the only one applauding you is yourself.

#puppyluver256 #do not support this artist #palestine

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