#and literally i think im going to sob abt this but it's fine i guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kalashtars]

lol lmao when the people in your performance group project didn't prepare AT ALL for anything so now you have to attempt to edit what you filmed into something vaguely watchable and it's Not Working

[yawn-emoji]

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

[pinkcannibal]

marilyn making eating reader out into a punishment is actually such a real important gripping phenomenon btw. like her eating reader out until reader’s literally a crying sobbing mess from being so overstimulated??? so very extremely real to me the realness is inexplicably astounding. and just what you said earlier about whenever reader gets shy/sheepish over marilyn buying her nice things, marilyn just. eats her out until the message is sent across like. i enjoy buying things for you and i want to do this for you. it’s incredibly voraciously supercalifragilisticexpialidociously real to me. idek what these words are meaning anymore but i hope i’m getting my point across : marilyn eating reader out until she has lockjaw and reader has lost her vocal chords is very very fine literature yes very very fine literature indeed <333

i think abt marilyn eating reader out until she cries literally every day. '<3' and i in my discord dms treat it as a lover skdksdk but god you are SOOOO correct and right for this. im planning in the punishment chapter (spoiler sneak peak i guess?) that marilyn eating reader out until shes overstimulated is part of the punishment. like begging for marilyn to stop but not actually wanting her too, lazily tapping out and shaking and trembling from the pleasure. "until her vocal chords are gone" 😵‍💫reader being so dazed and dumb all she can manage to mutter is some sort of sentence that sounds like 'mommy,' and 's'good' and its all cracked and hoarse from the moaning hiiii. then the mental imagery of marilyn's chin and mouth covered in her cum. reader squirting for the first time from it??? yeah in my head and never leaving. marilyn will go until her jaw is literally aching and her tongue is numb btw, and even then will just get reader to crawl up onto her face and ride it so they can keep going <33

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[diyeoracha]

fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL. 

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

[domjaehyun]

omg i’m the anon who sent u the six thirty ask and ma’am. jeno fic…. BARK BARK i’m down bad for 00 line rn send help. also just abt haechan like WHY IS HE GETTING IN MY HEAD AND HEART RIGHT NOW !!!! FOR FREE TOO SO DISRESPCTFUL. he is just sooo good at singing i want him to serenade me and on top of that HES CLEVER AND WITTY AND FUNNY ??? why does he have it all i’ll literally die. btw. positions literally my favorite ari album like it has some type of hold on me like idk why but that album … every song …. ari put her whole pussy in that she ate it tf up. and idk y’all she wrote that for me and tumblr user domjaehyun only the rest of y’all stay safe. and what do you mean ‘yes you can ask which ones i’m switching to haechan if you’re curious.’ YOU KNOW IM CURIOUS. hand over precious secrets. ugh I’M SO EXCITED TO SEE ALL THE NEW THINGS YOURE GOING TO WRITE !!!! you’re so talented i literally can’t wait i wish you all the luck in writing them because i am going to be dropping everything to read them whenever they come out. I HOPE YOURE HAPPY WITH EVERYTHING YOU WRITE AND ARE TAKING CARE OF URSELF WHILE U DO SO NO RUSH BABEY ITS ABT WHEN YOU WANNA DO IT !!

:D HI HI I'M HAPPY YOU'RE BACK I LIKE YOU HJSDFKLGJ

i am ... into jeno ... i like him ... or whatever ... 🙄 ugh... BARK BARK IS RIGHT BABY I AM BARKING WITH YOU IN SPIRIT !!! no for real haechan is actually fucking with my life it is approaching brainrot levels . i saw a gifset of him earlier (i rbed it to my other blog) and i . am not kidding when i say this mf literally had me staggering and stumbling in the middle of rite aid while waiting to pick up meds... he makes me SICK i want him. i want him so bad i'm going insane (ended up putting this under a cut bc . this got long.......apologies)

HIS VOICE- please i really might start crying . might do that for real . he has my absolute favorite voice in all of nct.... HOLO WHEN? GIVE IT TO ME. PLS . P L E A S E . he's got such a unique voice oh m y g o d. i'm going to cry ple a se. oh god

NO FR HE'S SO FUCKING SMART HE'S SO . *SOBBING* I NEED TO BE HELD RIGHT NOW WTF LIKE . listen also i just think it's important to note that like . he's funny IN KOREAN to me. yes he's said funny shit in english too but like . he says shit that is just like . Fucking Funny. he has an elite sense of humor i think like truly bc it can transcend language & culture and im like . fuck ... that's so hot ... do you know how fucking intelligent you have to be TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH IN A DIFF FUCKING LANGUAGE THAN THEY SPEAK? he's got also like a very physical humor to him i think like that's also so sexy and admirable he's so expressive ... in love with him truly he's so fucking fine what the FUCK

ALSO YES. IMPECCABLE TASTE. also fr i rly do think i like . fw ariana heavy......... like i rly rly do i love her vibes as a person and i love her music and her talent i just adore her sm oh my god. ASFDJGFKD she did this for us 💖 everyone go listen to smth else rn . KIDDING i want her to get all the clout & money she deserves oh my god. ALSO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG FROM THE ALBUM 👀 OR LIKE I GUESS YOUR TOP FAVES / A RANKING OR SMTH !!! i am curious hehe

and omg okay I DIDN'T WANNA JUST LIKE . INUNDATE YOU WITH INFO YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR JKSGFKFJK JUST WANTED TO BE . SURE YOU ACTUALLY CARED YKNOW !!! but omg okay so . the two fics i'm considering changing to haechan fics from that collection are: obvious from the original collection (currently a lucas fic) & pov from the extended collection (currently a kun fic) ...and ngl i am tempted to also change love language from the original collection too (currently a xiaojun fic) but like . i'm on the FENCE !!! like i like haechan s o much ... but i don't wanna like . idk . make my positions collection like The Haechan Show (even though like. it fucking should be. he deserves it i think) esp bc that wasn't the original plan :( like what if all the fans of the members i was GONNA write about got all excited for the fics and then . i let them down :(

SIDE NOTE I ALSO JUST NOTICED ALL THREE OF THE FICS I WANNA CHANGE TO HAECHAN ARE ALL ABT WAYV MEMBERS I'M SO SORRY THAT REALLY WAS NOT DELIBERATE SJDFGKD haechan is just someone that feels SO versatile to me ... like he can do it all... it's remarkable ...

hhHHHHhh i think whenever i start working on them i might like . do a lil poll and see if ppl would be like . genuinely upset abt it or like . how ppl feel in general .... note: i'm still probably gonna end up doing what i want...bc that is just how i roll 💖 but i would def like want an idea of how it might be received yknow?

SORRY BABY I RANTED AT YOU JDKFGLKSD in my defense... it's your fault . it's not my fault you have thoroughly enjoyable vibes 🙄 THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH THANK YOU IM HAPPY YOURE SO SUPPORTIVE AND EXCITED :D I HOPE YOU LIKE THE STUFF I'M WORKING ON!!! in my mind i am giving u a v big hug (if you want it) bc i like you okay moving on la la la gonna shut up now

[gayspock]

ok some star trek liveblogs

- its literally.. it feels like so long since i las t watched trek somehow idk how. i mean its been a while since i could watch it continuously and ive had a rlly long couipleof weeks tbh. but yah now i can probs finish ds9 at some poinnt this week if i rlly want to :3

- and also as like a fun little note. it took me SO SO long to get through tng didnt it christ? like its almost been a whole year since i first watched it, and i thought to myself "man idk if i should wait until my birthday again to do a st movie marathon" but i literally think it could so easily line up ... O_Owhich stupididk how its been tht long already my god.

- anyways i into the final stretch of s7

- and like okie dokie. worf. sigh. soft gentle sighs

- bc heres the thing its so weirddd bc i LOVE worf to the core but its SO funny bc like. i hated a lot of his tng eps- sorrryyy. though frankly thats not even ENTIRELT accurate, as usually not bc of him. i didnt hate worf eps, but a lot of the klingon eps bc the politics really did not do it for me at all.

- and more to the point. i DO feel like hes a little out of place, still, in ds9, even if he has offered some good stuff to the show

- but rn with ezri. sigh.

- bc frankly the thing is. whilst theres some moments that make me cringe and they're too stilted... i actually do like worf for his flaws sometimes. i dotn know. not as in im like ohh yeahh go mister sogynistic.... but in terms of a character i do find it. hm. refreshing is absolutely the wrong word, but i do feel there's more depth when you can allow characters to, like, actually be a little bit of a resistance at times. like genuine resistance

- and idk . but sighhhh sigh sigh. the thing with ezri is i like understand absolutely and i would ALSO feel that way with him not wanting to talk to her rn. like is it stupid ass the way he treated her? yah..... and not right BUT i'd be, like, "fine" with it in the sense of like. it would align with his character and i recognise his own shit is getting in the way and people dont handle/react to things perfectly and like- he did lose his wife, and stuff, and its not like... she owes him her time either like.

- bc like. if HE is not comfortable being friends with (or even talking to) his late wifes successor i dont think thats, like, a weird "hes runniong away; he isnt communicating" situation moment bc like. frankly its kind of obvious... why someone might not want to do that at all. its a unique situation. and GRANTED, yes they do have to work togetrher but like... i think its fiar if he just wants to keep it sort of civil and i dont know . sometimes you can just settle for things being awkward with each other, like? you cant make every situation perfect all of the time- and itsliterally fine, just grit ur teeth... granted i guess thats a very Me way of thinking abt it but like- but-

- BUT GOD SOMETIMES . theres some shit hes doing NOW in particular tht is making me claw my hair out just bc it seems.... AGAIN i want him to react badly if it fits him, but nonetheless ahrgh. WHY DID HE FUCK EZRI. SORRY I

- NOW WHY DID THEY ENGAGE IN INTERCOURSE LIKE THAT HM.

- BECAUSE THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME ON ANY LEVEL WHATSOEVER IS THE THING <3

- also the thing with ezri is im sobbing bc ezri soooo could easily be my most favourite of teh entire show but im just so sad she was brought in so fuckn late!!!!! like, im not actually wholly against introducing maincast so far along in THIS circumstance. like after 6 seasons? im ok with that. on the contrary i like it here, even if i dont usually like that kind of thing, bc it makes sense tht they have to change things to keep the show flowing (as u kno how s7 of trek can get a little... burnt out.. at least i felt that way with tng too). so im cool with her being new but its moreso bc we only have one season left.... and thts not enough time. does that make sense.

- bc like maybe if she was brought into s6, and then there were 8 seasons of ds9 i feel like tht could work? but only ONE season for development, esp so late when things are coming to a head...

- rn i feel like they have to rush a lot of her, and focus on her a bit too much and its not as organic as it could be which is such a shame bc its GENUINELY A REALLY INTERESTING FACET of trill culture, and i do find her compelling as hell but YEAH. i think them having to, like, so quickly demonstrate her as a person makes a lot of the execution... lose subtley? which is just like. gentle sigh. its not godawful but its, like, very.... season 1 and 2.

- anyways back to theshwo im really obsessed with damar right now. the absolute definition of some fucking bloke. and i meant what i said abt him and weyoun really feeling like a couple in the midst of a years long divor-

- SORRY.

- "if you think i dont know what youre up to, youre a bigger fool than dukat... 😠" "d..dukat?" "he used to entertain lady friends as well 😒" SO AS I LITERALLY WAS JUST SAYING. JEEZ.

- also god i really do not care for ezri and julian. i doubt anyone does but like i think it goes back to what i said above like

- frankly. i do not think even WITH development it could work (it just feels weird, especially with how they wrote julian and jadzia,) but its even more awkward and stilted with how we've seen... barely nothing of them together. like girlies what...

- i will say though. damar epic big dick moments help. im actually really digging him despite it all. help.

- and fucking- THE FACT WHEN EZRI AND WORF CAME BACK . THEY ALL CROWDED EZRI LIKE <333 WE MISSED YOY. AND W9DGJIDIFODJIOG. WORFWAS JUST 🧍‍♂️ LIKE HELPPP WHY ISTHT MAKING ME PISS AND SHIT AND

- also also also also. sighhhh omg. i get its like the final stretch now and we did get a lot of other character stuff earlier this season but i do hope they give the other girlies sth to do a bit more . im not worried abt it bc i figure we've just been focussing on other stuff rn but yah

- thats right sisko. malewife. you wear the apron.

- can i say i love kasidy's voice. like idk if its her accent or sth? but its just got that softness round the edges, my goodness me...

- i will say im squinting at the whole... her leading him down the wrong path. like what does it even mean, bestie. i know im not supposed to know yet. but goodness gracious me. i have a sense of foreboding- and NOT the one im meant to... like as in i feel like theyre going down a bad route narratively

- kai winns . whats his name. her assistant? fucking HATING dukat is fucking hysterical. he just smells it on him.

- WHAT A TIRESOME LITTLE MAN

- I AM BUT A MOON MADE WA- OHHHHH IM GOING TO BARF. DUKAT YOU ARE GROWING SO INSUFFERABLE. SOMEHOW MORE AND MORE SO.

- the fact she REALLY IS SICK AND TWISTED ON THAT NASTY DUKAT DICK. DEMENTED, TORMENTED, NOT EVEN SACRAMENTED

- the ezri and julian mess. even if i dislike it i do like worf just taking the piss out of him. get his ass. hes a child. sure. be a little mean its quite funny

- also damar and weyouns nasty little wretched dynamic.extremely fuckinh funny behaviour on all fronts. oh the girls HATE each other dont they ust. can you imagine being the fucking breen.

- no offence benjamin but shes so right fucking GETR HIS ASS, KASIDY.

-quark why are you taunting odo about his relationship with kira now hm.

- anywaysmy comments are getting inane i'll dump this big one at this point i think and continue whenever i have more to chatter about

[icharchivist]

hello icha!! i finally got around to finishing the stranger haha,, by which i mean i just watched it today. was veryyyy excited for it as i really like the poster design for this one. anyways. this event starting w/ the sort of portrait format or whatever / that narration is like. god. threw me right back to autumn troupe. I kind of love that the storytelling format itself is so distinct for autumn! the moment I realized it was omi I started getting teary… like oh man oh man… omi…. And the connection with him taking photos! ahh!! now that I think about it… omi kind of seems a bit like early version tsumugi, huh? also I keep forgetting this man is a college student lol. suspension of disbelief I suppose. onto the play i think like. mankai should invest in a fainting courch for tsuzuru. i also went to watch the play and 1) im betting yuki had a hell of a time costume design wise like the vines on the body? such fun costuming wise and 2) the ethical implications of whatever this play has,,, fun fun. tsuzuru was clearly having some kind of thoughts. i love zeros design and am always up for a3 characters crossdressing bc 1) i think its fun and 2) the costume design. i also dearly wish this whole thing was animated bc I feel like it’d be o fun to see taichi act as zero. or at least I hope this event gets full voiced one day... moving on to the scene where omi adds soy sauce to the paella I know it’s just like haha homare funny so lets five him a lil bit but like everyone in autumn troupe making their comments on the paella and like homare just jumping in. homare autumn troupe besties. just thinking. also the way they just r like. no no no omi it’s fine if u made a mistake!! it’s ok! we like it (you) anyways <3 it’s got it’s own special taste. something something omi’s perfectly pleasant as he is now but even if he weren’t on his a-game and was dealing with all of the biker gang stuff they would love him just as hard. another thing that got me was omi telling banri that he’ll give him something sweet so juza will stop grinding his teeth in his sleep… guys… guys you’ll give him cavities…. mb omi is a college student after all lol.

anyways when i saw the actual costumes. appreciative of them, i like the lil circuit-esque detailing on banri’s outfit, and that sakyo and taichi (nine and zero) both share that like collar detail? its very symbolic and probably also literal but its a nice way to sort of signify their relation to each other visually! also sakyo just looks nice. seeing him without glasses is so great. whoever thought up the like two mole detail for him was doing gods work.

something that confused me was ryo mistaking juza for nachi for a split second? like. does juza… look similar to nachi? or was it just that ryo only heard juzas voice and made that mistake. if it’s appearance wise too. kumon nachi confirmed. I’m joking lol bc I feel like I would’ve heard at least something abt it in one of the like small conversation comments, plus that doesnt seem like itd fit summer troupes style and kumon is for sure the wrong age… but still.

i really like how for this event, the roles for taichi and omi were kinda reversed. and taichis just so like. idk. smiley. rly lifts ur spirits. its kind of nice how this event contrasts to that cg where taichi is crying on omi. I also think like. idk. considering the story of the stranger. wolf gives zero a sense of purpose and life and I think that zero helps wolf lose his apathy. it’s about “the stranger” and the ending makes him like… not a stranger, right? because he’s got a companion. in the same way, taichi brings omi out of his emotional isolation. the picture taking! also the stickers coming back… thats such a good setup! the found family of it all!!

when he was trying to work out zeros character as soon as taichi mentioned a sharp speaking style I KNEW it was Yuki… yuki would never be as honest as zero is though lol… to me i imagine she’s got a sort of juza internal monologue feel? anyways. the taichi yuki dynamic intrigues me. havent yet decided how I feel abt it but when I do… yes. sorry that I make literally no sense. I think it’s very obvious that yuki is my fav chara kind of? I’m just. hmmm it makes me think! I’ve been monologuing to myself abt the yuki and juza dynamic lately which, to my a3 knowledge so far, doesn’t exist, but its ok bc I’ll make it exist! uhhh anyways this event was very good i liked the pacing. i think it didnt drag too hard and it really properly honed in on just omi and taichi, which was quite nice. they really did a lot for just an event!

time to listen to the event song,,, ok so. ah. i rly enjoyed just for myself it was very much to my taste so. out of curiousity i was like ok lemme look up the composer / producer AND IT WAS YUYOYUPPE....... that guy is like!!!! one of my FAV producers ever!!!!!! i know him from like. his vocaloid days and god leia is still one of my fav songs to this day...! this knowledge gives me so much joy omg!!! like wow!! wowwww!!! like i knew yuyoyuppe was out there doing other stuff (i know he worked on a lot of babymetal music which is cool) but like idk. to suddenly encounter it like this. heheh.... its so nice! made me soooo happy. going to relisten to leia now haha

WAIT ONE MORE THING. i was like "haha let me look at other songs i remember liking a lot" which. for me was rakuen oasis and don't cry. anyways. rakuen oasis is ALSO by yuyoyuppe???? oh my god!!! oh my god... sigh. feel like im in heaven.

OH HI FRIEND!! so good to see you with an a3 update!! :D

godd yeah The Stranger started so strongly and the idea to still incorporate portraits in his story was really something to make us cry!

And linking Omi and Tsumugi like this is pretty interesting :O <hat is your reasoning exactly? :O

For the fainting couch for Tsuzuru LMAO and i'm letting you know there's a webcomics that addresses it in Act 2 (hough there's no spoilers aside from the fact Chikage is here)

Im glad you liked the costume and the play!!! yeah i love the designs and it is always a blast to see them this into it, and yeaaah Tsuzuru has thoughts huh. It'll get voiced sooner than later hopefully and there we'll see more in details :3c but also that's what made the seiyuu live so fun bc they perform the songs in play cosplay and replay a bit of the play everytime and it's *chief kiss*

HOMARE AUTUMN TROUPE SOLIDARITY YES. LOVING IT.

And yeah the scene itself was so cute TwT they all want to reassure Omi and be there for him it's so sweet :( but yeah i love how you say it all, Omiimi TwT

and dLKFJDFLKJFDFD Giving Juza cavities is the price to pay for sleep i guess??

yeah agreed on the costume they all look so cool! and nice catch on how those three seem linked like that with their costumes, Yuki (and the designers) does such a good job! and god yeah for Sakyo.. yeah. He has sucha good design dLKJFDF

aND DLKFJD yeah no Juza is supposed to look like Nachi physically, but mostly his face? like i think Nachi was had green hair? we see a sprite of him in a future story, and yeah, everything is in the eyebrows. so Kumon should be safe? Omi mentions he sees a lot of Nachi in Juza, and while it is mostly due to their passions i think, the fact they're also rough looking guy with a heart of gold must play a part as well. but yeah, he does look like Nachi a bit.

and i love your deeper analysis of the event yeah!!

I feel like Taichi is really an emotional core of the troupe in the sense that is, he tends to catch on what others are feelings easily. And he uses it in the early chapters to ease off the tensions and stuff, but he was being held back by knowing he was deceiving them. So now that he's more free, he can be more of himself. but yeah i also love the contrast with how Omi was the one to help Taichi through his breakdown and guilt, and now it's the other way around, it's Taichi helping him through it. and the parallelism between the play and their dynamic is spot on imo! well said!!

and god yeah the sticker things made me cry sO HARD, and the pictures! and everything!! sobs it's such a sweet found family i'm going to cry :(

And! i love what you say about Yuki, Taichi and Juza on this one. I love that Taichi keeps bringing it back to "that childhood friend" and it's always like. so obvious who it is for us rip. But it can make you wonder if Yuki was more honest as a kiddo when Taichi knew him, though now he's clearly not. I love the mention of how Zero is more like Juza's internal speech (which, if anything is another argument about why you should let Juza wear a dress, cOWARD)

but also your mention of the Yuki and Juza thing, while i can't think of them having a dynamic per se yet, but i actually wrote a post during my reread about how i was baffled at the fact they treated Muku the same way?? like both of them tried to push Muku away because they were scared of how people would react if they say pure, sweet Muku was associated to them. And i find it fascinating because i guess those two are pretty aware of how the world see them, and it used to stop them from fully allowing them to be themselves.

I also find it relevant with the fact Yuki says in his personal song that while all of this way people judge him weight on him, he rather be himself, and "I want to love myself". Meanwhile we have Juza who's also aware of the way people judge him and it weight on him, and he wants to change himself from this person he hates, this self loathing - and in a way, he can grow in a way to be "someone" he may not hate, even on stage. I feel like those two have quite a bit in common in this way of being rejected by their peers in some sort of way.

I really want them to share some stuff at some point because there's really a groundwork on it all :(

But i'm really glad you liked that event!! agreed on the pacing and i do love what it brings to the characters! it really fleshes them out and have them move forward a little and it's pretty sweet.

AND OMG THAT'S SO COOL FOR THE SONG!! i'm so glad you liked it, but that's incredible it turned out to be from one of your fav producer!!! ahah sometimes life is like that where you end up finding the stuff you loved back into new stuff! and the fact Rakuen Oasis was from him as well... that's so cool!!! just, so so cool!

im pretty sure he has more songs going forward so i hope you'll enjoy the ride even more!!

thank you once again for sharing your thoughts about a3 :3c it always makes me so happy to see them!!!

Thank youu <3 have a good day :3c

[brightmalcolm]

Yo in the end of 1x11 Malcolm is hugging his mum & sister and then it cuts to black, but whAt do u think happens after that bc?? Hoe got stabbed??? And a broken hand?? Like??? How soon does his family find out ya think, and does he tell them or does he just pass tf out bc he did it! Horray! Sleep time oh no! I want to know how mum gonna react oh hell if she thought Ainsley getting a head bonk was bad oooooh girl. Basically im hoping next ep doesn’t skip all that it could be.

WELL unfortunately it looks like they are literally going to skip it all bc there’s a two week time jump :/ (when will tv writers understand the best part about hurting a character is the aftermath and recovery WHEN???) I know there’s a few fics abt what happens next (I wrote one that takes place like ~30 minutes later when malcolm is about to go to the hospital not to self promo)

but god as for the immediate aftermath??? I’m guessing once jessica and ainsley are looking at him again malcolm puts on his This Is Fine face, only for jessica to immediately notice how much he’s bleeding from his side and freak tf out. malcolm tells her not to worry bc if he’s not dead yet the knife probably didn’t hit anything major but she makes both him and ainsley lay down on the bed while she calls 911. and then I think poor malcolm would kind of just dissociates some more bc his brain can’t even begin to process what happened. ainsley notices and thinks he’s just scared about what happened so she tells him it’ll be okay and he tries to ground himself but like god idek where to start with how much shit he needs to process AND john is still in their fucking house sobbing in a trunk which I doubt is helping anyone. TLDR we aren’t going to get any of the aftermath we deserve but it’s fine I’m FINEEEEE

[chaostwofold]

1-41 on the asks? Also gn

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

Morning glories!! not only are they already my favorite flower, theyre extremely toxic and mean unconditional love! i have a tendency to fall for the wrong people and not realize until after,, BUT thats only half and half!! some people i loved unconditionally and contine to love them and others set me back in the recovery process,,

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Begonias id assume? not only are hanahaki flowers supposed to represent your feelings, they should also represent the person. begonias are known for misfortune, dark/unpleasant thoughts, and caution to new situations. on the flip side, its harmonious communications, understanding, and gratitude.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

hm. well, what about the urchin whos actually a prince? someone who originates from grand places, a great misfortune turns them into something undesirable and possibly bitter, and then when theyre brought back to the light of stability they provide for those who are in the same situation as he was

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit

im long range magic tactics and healing always bc im too afraid of conflict :pensive: but the closest thing would probably be something flexible but strong, in black and the more sensitive areas like the neck and thighs covered more carefully (read: shadowhunter gear)

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

change on an emotional and mental plane. they would sacrifice those who refuse to change for the better. i determine what is better, and if they choose the wrong person to sacrifice they would pay depending on why they attempted to sacrifice someone who didnt deserve it.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

“there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence... a person may have one without the other.” is an all time favorite from my favorite book The Soulforge by Margret Weis!!!!!!!

“plant your trees and watch them grow.” OUGH

 “There is a thin semantic line separating the weird and the beautiful. and that line is covered in jellyfish.” NIGHTVALE

“Ive been good sir / so very very good for what? / and ive given you / every single thing ive got / its feeling strange man / this whole arrangement / is gonna end with / me totally deranged” From Disobedient, from su:tm!!! it slaps man

“ What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?” Ah. billie eilish ily

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythe! the weapon of fate and peace,, it is used to reap the souls of those deemed to die and its used for harvesting crops!! the end of all thngs, its a graceful and symbolical weapon.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Vaniila, star anise, and clary sage

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

leather bound books!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

a cyclone, probably. something threatening on the outside but extremely calm on the inside.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

amaryllis, which is splendid beauty and worth beyond beauty

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

cinnamon in tea!!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

apt in the city

14. curtains of beads or lace?

bead curtains!!! retro AND can be like “hoohoo welcome to my brewery pick your literal poison im a witch”

15. vocal or instrumental music?

yall know i could never pick,, music is too much of an intimate thing too be taken lightly (whch is one of the reasons i have a burning hatred for jokey nursery rhymes like baby shark)

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

SOBS okay so. ough it depends man. i rlly like the idea of like. ponchos and shawls n stuff,,, id prolly go for a witch in the woods ngl (the prince REPRESENTS me the best but. witch of the dark woods is my aesthetic) so prolly like a heavy green shawl over a black shirt and jeans and combat boots or smth,,, i WOULD have a flower crown of poisonous flowers, yes

Changeling or shapeshifter definitely!! to be able to constantly change form in super mecore

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

fruit preserves

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

you all knew it was gonna happen ( its a mountain laurel!! poisonous. of course)

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

my hair is WAY too short for that but i used to do it when i had longer hair and its a definite yay

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

an evening in the forest with elves or a morning in the garden with fae!! i cant decide man,,, if it had been a night in a victorian castle w vamps i wouldve been tied w that too but caves are a dwarven thing

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. maybe like. a true self thing? where im forced to say what i mean, i cant say sorry for things im not sorry for, i have to say when things make me uncomfy, i just become less timid (the witch who cursed me got pissed off bc i said sorry too much and didnt answer questions properly)

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

talking with sylphs prolly??? i dunno man ive always loved sylphs ngl

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

def mint

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

what childhood lmao (honestly?? i loved reading the grim fairytales just over and over)

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

uhhh one time i was accused of witchcraft bc i was “guessing” peoples fav colours at a christian summer camp and our supervisors asked me to stop bc it was freaking them out bc im not christian (i had them close their eyes, think of their colour, and i would see it bc id close my eyes) OH also one time luke spoiled some pl stuff bc he was thinking abt the spoiler too loudly

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

oh healing def!! i already know a bunch of native poisonous plants so itll b fine

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

only two chances for everyone, and then i cut them off entirely

cringe culture is dead. the only cringy people are assholes

hurt luke youre dead

29. vials or mason jars?

no. no. you CANNOT make me pick. its illegal

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

uh! moss green, its a onepiece thats baggy and tied with a golden decorative rope at the waist and tightened at the ankles!! its loose at the sleeves and the shoulders are showing whereas the neck is turtled!! there are designs showing black mambas and lilies of the valley (poisonous...). the mask is black and covers my right eye, with subtle smooth scales on it.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

BOTH are p mean uh. i said sylphs earlier so ig ill go mermaids??? plus im afraid of heights

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

as the royal magician/wizard/witch/alchemist/magic jester? calling the royal family out on their bullshit

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

they would be black owls wings!!! (if you meant pixies, like tinkerbell, you shouldve said pixies fam :pensive:)

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

deaths cloak or a truth charm to get people to tell me, you guessed it, the truth

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

a song about grim ends ad new beginnings.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

royalty! so i can fuck shit up from the inside

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

field of flowers or marketplace!! seeing the things people create and natural beauty and solitude are both wonderful

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

a modest one with a very dark palette, with my eyes painted a gleaming golden.

39. what skill are you famous for?

i talk rlly fast

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

im not sure,, 

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

FAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTS

[parkjmini]

Outlier | the end

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 3988 genre: angst warnings: explicit language

[an]: nothing is medically accurate lmao im so sorry i researched like 70 percent and then i implied everything else so dont trust me idk what im talking abt. but a BIG thank you to everyone who sent me so so so much support and feedback for this entire series bc i wouldn’t have had the motivation to finish. getting those messages after posting a chapter made me giddy for my own story and i know what happens. I truly love interacting with my readers and going into plot/character analysis, i just love hearing everyone’s thoughts and thinking processes bc we all interpret things differently, again, thank you everyone who enjoyed reading this story (: 

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . the end 

After confirmation of the surgery, it became prepping sessions. Your doctor slowly took you off the chemo and gave you medication to ease any discomfort. You were given less visiting hours because you needed to rest. 

But your troubles stirred when you were alone. The moment replayed in your mind when Jennie told you that they were broken up. There was nothing you could say, nothing for you to fix. Jennie and Jimin were respectfully dating you, aware of your decision for still wanting to be with the both of them. It didn’t feel the same though, it didn’t feel secure or safe.

There was no way you could date them separately. Jimin lacked what Jennie brought to the relationship and vise versa. It wasn’t complete without the both of them. Your nurses didn’t let you worry about that, brushing away Jimin and Jennie during your resting hours. 

Jungkook visited you once after you added him back onto your list. He also brought you a vase of your favorite flowers. There was part of you where you didn’t want to make things awkward, but the other part didn’t allow for that. Instead, you blurted out that you knew about his crush on you. Then, he left quickly after you rejected his offer to be with him.

Hoseok respected your time and didn’t visit when he wasn’t allowed to. You were aware of how he had other important events in his life, but you really wished he tried to see you more. You’d hate to admit it, but Hoseok seemed to be the only person you could turn to for any non-biased advice. Since he stopped coming around often, you had to turn to your nurses.

The two weeks were absolutely the dullest moment in your life. You thought that living in your small town with your mom was bad, this was worse. You were stuck in a huge hospital with no friends majority of your stay. Your nurses were only with you for max ten minutes before they needed to go. You had the television, sleep, and your own nervousness.

Surgery was a big decision, so big that you even called your mom about it. You didn’t have the best relationship with your mom, so calling her was a surprise to even her. She totally didn’t bother to follow up on your life, so she never called first. But, you couldn’t go into surgery with the possibility of death and not tell her about it.

She offered to fly over and you insisted that she didn’t. So when she arrived to see you, you didn’t hesitate to give her a piece of your mind.

“What are you doing here? I told you that you didn’t need to come. Where did you find which hospital I was staying at?” You groaned into your pillow.

Your mom set her things down and crossed her legs while she took a seat across from you. “I asked the school. I’m your mother, for fucks sakes.” 

“Yeah, well you didn’t think that when I was growing up, so now that I’m dying, you decide you should start caring.” You rolled your eyes at her gasp.

“How dare you say that to me? I raised you when your dad walked out on us.”

“If you think being drunk and picking me up from my after school programs means raising me, then yeah. You did great mom.” Your sarcasm came out in train wrecks when it came to your mom; she drew the worse out of you.

“(Y/N), you have cancer and you decide to let me know when you’ve already decided for surgery is not exactly the most responsible daughter thing you pride yourself to be.” She shot back.

Your nurse came in to cue that she only had 15 minutes left before she needed to leave. “It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I needed to tell you since you’ve never cared enough to call me these past years except to invite me to your stupid wedding. Might I also add that you didn’t tell me about until the day before, so that makes two of us.”

“I didn’t raise you for you to treat me like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, what are you saying? But how about we talk about something else, since that’s all we ever talk about. News flash, mom, I have fucking pancreatic cancer and I’m going into surgery tomorrow. I’ve been going to chemo these past three months and I have almost to no hair. My body is bruised from being poked by needles. I am dying! Thanks for even having the audacity to come see me before my maybe death tomorrow. Don’t let the door hit you in the face.” You shouted as loud as your lungs let you go.

Your door opened and you both stopped your argument to see Jennie and Jimin standing under the frame. They looked stunned and confused to see the lady who you resembled. “Did we come at a bad time?” Jimin asked.

“No, since this is your visiting time.” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mom.

“Who are you two?” She asked, rudely.

“Mom, that’s my boyfriend, Jimin and that’s my girlfriend, Jennie. Welcome to the modern society of polyamorous relationships where I love two people at once.” Jennie and Jimin have never heard such sarcasm run out of your mouth. You were always just subtle, but this side of you was new.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Jennie stepped forward and your mom got up.

“Well, I can see that you have a whole double life I know nothing about. I guess you don’t need me anymore. Good luck on your surgery and whatever you call a relationship.” She grabbed her things and walked past Jennie and Jimin.

“She was pleasant.” Jimin said sarcastically and you rolled over on your side.

“This is why I never brought you home with me for the holidays.”  Jennie hurried to cuddle up to your side. 

“At least we avoided an awkward argument over Christmas dinner.” She chuckled and kissed your ear.

Jimin sat on your opposite side. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

Sitting up in Jennie’s arms, you buried your face in your hands. “No. I’m so scared.” 

“You’re going to be fine. Jennie, Hoseok and I are going to be right outside of your door. We’re going to be with you when you’re recovering. We’re with you every step of the way, we already packed our go-bags.” Jimin tried to comfort you, but you sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t help but cry so much nowadays. Staying strong was hard when you were so vulnerable. 

“And if something happens? Will you be there with me?” It was a rhetorical question that caused them to both fall silent.

“Nothing will happen. They’re highly trained professionals and I made sure you had the best surgeon in this hospital.” Jennie bragged proudly and Jimin laughed.

“Yeah, seeing her demand it was very terrifying. But, she did it. You’re in good hands, baby.” Jimin smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Can you two just lay with me for the last couple of minutes before my nurse comes and kicks you out?” You sniffed and moved over for Jimin to join the sandwich fest.

“(Y/N), I love you so much.” Jennie and Jimin said in unison, and the unsettling feeling set back into your system.

A group of nurses and surgeons rolled you into a double door room. It was dim, except for the big spotlight that shined above you. Squinting, you saw the surgical masks that blinked back at you.

“Ready?” Your doctor was smiling behind her mask.

“No.” Your voice trembled from your nerves; your palms slick with sweat. “I want to be okay.”

“And you will be, (Y/N). We’re going to start with the anesthetics and we’ll get everything going. Relax, I’m right here.” She held onto your shaking hand and you stared back up at the bright light.

You felt the drugs enter your system, slowly stripping away your consciousness. You’ve already cried out all night your worries and said a few important goodbyes before the day arrived. The jittery feeling caused your body to shake uncontrollably and you were so terrified. This could mean recovery or death.

And while you hoped for survival, you knew the chances were split between the two options. Death was unavoidable, but to die so early shook your bones. Your dreams have just been memories of past events in your life, reminding you of the life you lived. The life you might soon leave. It was harder to ignore death than it was to wish for recovery.

Once your eyelids fell over your eyes, you’ve never felt more alone in your entire life.

“Would you stop pacing? You’ve been walking back and forth for the past two hours.” Jennie complained.

Jimin stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her, “I’m nervous.” 

“What happened to ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you don’t need to worry’?” Jennie laughed and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I can’t help that my body reacts the way it does when I’m the slightest worried. How are you so calm about this? They’re literally cutting her open in that room.” Jimin gestured to the closed doors.

“By not thinking about it like that. I’m thinking about the lovely time I get to spend with my girlfriend when she’s done.” Jennie muttered.

Jimin walked up to her and pointed to his chest, “you mean my girlfriend?”

Hoseok pushed the two apart. “She’s both of your’s. Are you two done making a scene in a hospital?” 

Jimin went over to sit next to Hoseok’s other side, making him stuck in the middle of a not-so-friendly feud. Even though they showed up together for visits, they were incredibly hostile to one another when they were alone. 

They slept in separate beds, Jimin taking over your room and Jennie in her’s. They ate dinner with their own friends and didn’t bother to tell each other about their whereabouts. They mostly spoke to each other in scoffs or groans.

Suddenly, the hallway doors were slammed open and nurses were rushing in a big machine --- a defibrillator.

The three of them stood up, seeing how rushed and hurried the nurses looked. The surgery door opened and a surgeon walked out with sweat dripping down the side of his head. The sound of a flat line heartbeat caught the attention of Jennie.

“Her heart isn’t beating, is it?” She was afraid to hear the answer to her question, her chest rising and falling violently.

Your doctor held the door open for the other nurses and defibrillator. “Her pulse went out, but we’re doing our best. But prepare for the worse.” 

Jennie collapsed onto the floor, bawling. “Holy fuck, we’re going to lose her!” She shouted with heavy tears running down her face. It was like her words pulled Jennie’s heart down to the pit of her stomach. Her whole mind and body were shutting down at the news.

“You have to stay calm, Jen.. we’re in a hospital.” Jimin tried to get her up, but she kept slipping his grasp.

“I don’t care! That’s our girl in there and her heart isn’t beating!” She exclaimed and Hoseok helped with holding her up.

Jimin’s head was in shambles, utterly speechless at what was happening. Hoseok was numb to the news, unaware to how to react. They wanted to stay optimistic, that the defibrillator will work. It had to work. 

“Why don’t you two go outside and get some air? I’ll stay here for any further news. Please... it’s not a suggestion. Go.” Hoseok needed to clear them out before they both stressed him out more than he already was.

Jimin walked Jennie outside. The light breeze clearing their heavy, crazy minds. Jennie was choked up by her tears, constantly wiping at her wet cheeks. Jimin stared at the ground, listening to her sorrows. His heart too heavy to express.

“Aft-er -- everything.. --Jimin --- I’m.. really, truly sorry...--” Jennie had trouble speaking with the endless waterfalls from her eyes.

“--Jen..” Jimin barely got out.

“No.. listen to me first. I’ve felt really guilty about all the rumors. We should’ve never gotten together in the first place, especially with someone like me. I’m known as the campus hoe, right? I can’t hold onto a stable relationship even if I wanted to and now my --- girlfriend --- is-- she’s -- dying.” Jennie cried harder, holding her face in her hands as she slid against the wall and onto the ground.

“I didn’t do anything with Jisoo ever. I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you, but I would never hurt you or (Y/N) like that, especially coming from a place where that has happened to me multiple times. Maybe you’ve always secretly doubted our relationship, considering how we got together through an accidental one night stand.” 

“Through our three months together, I fell head over heels for you, Jimin. I’ll admit it. I liked (Y/N) first, but you had a piece of me I didn’t think I could give to anyone after Taehyung. You’re so open, so understanding, so kind. I’ve never fully gotten the chance to explain myself because you keep shutting me down and every time, I believed that my explanation doesn’t matter. I’ve been devalued my entire life by my partners and sadly, I made myself feel that way with you when you ignored my pleads. But I think now is the best opportunity to tell you because we honestly don’t have anyone else who understands us the way we do. We’re both suffering because our girlfriend is in there not breathing. Our girlfriend, Jimin. I love you and through everything, you’re the one of the only people in this world who knows my struggles.” Jennie held him by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eyes as she gripped onto the only hope left in her life.

Jimin invited her into his arms, holding her tight. He had forgotten why he was upset before. He just wanted to be with his girls. He wished, hoped, prayed that things were back to how they were before the misfortune. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel invalid. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.” He admitted and Jennie sobbed harder into his chest.

“It’s okay... -- we’ll --- be...”

“--- Okay?” Jimin finished off and she nodded. 

You couldn’t breathe or move. Your lungs collapsed into your chest and you struggled to supply oxygen to your body. You screamed, but no noise came out and your arms were glued to your side. It was like you were trapped in a motionless body.

Everything was turning fuzzy and a white light blurred your vision. This was it. You were dying. You weren’t sure what realization hit you. Maybe it was the lost of breath and your heart rate slowly declining. Maybe it was the blinding light that caught your attention ahead.

Your memories started flashing before you. Jennie and Jimin flooding your mind. Your eyes scanned for anyone else, but them. However, you were left with scenes of your once perfect relationship.

Your first date night. It was the day you officially joined your partners. Jennie hurried you down to meet Jimin. He was cleaned up nicely, standing all cool against his sleek car. He peered up to see Jennie with the biggest smile on her small face, hand holding yours. 

She told Jimin the news and he was overjoyed, ready to hold you in his arms. He rushed you into the car and it didn’t feel much different than it was when all three of you hung out. The only difference was that you’ve never been more intimate with your best friends. 

Your first kiss. You anxiously sat next to Jimin on the couch during a lazy movie fest you were having with them. He had his arm wrapped around you, twirling the ends of your fingers with his. Your heart beating so fast, being not use to the touching from either of them.

He picked up your chin, knowing that you were distracted. It was an instant spark once your eyes connected and soon, your lips did as well.

Your first ‘I love you’. This moment was one of your favorites. It was Jennie’s birthday and you three were excited for the day ahead. However, a huge storm was rolling in and you were almost home. Jimin insisted in stopping to buy more snacks before rushing back. 

Once you all stepped out from the convenience store, it was showering, pouring heavy amounts of rain. Jennie, you and Jimin were drenched within seconds of going outside. Your plastic bags filled up an inch with collected water. Jimin’s leather seats in his car pooled with rain. All three of you laughed with glee as you marveled the escape from the wet mess.

And you suddenly stopped to admire the way Jimin’s eyes disappeared cutely and how Jennie’s nose scrunched up, her adorable snort catching your attention. In the midst of their happiness, you blurted out, “I love you two.”

The news of your mother’s wedding. An invitation was addressed to you. It had pretty cursive handwriting and a beautiful design. It was a wedding for your mom and her boyfriend, inviting you to join them for an evening of unity. You weren’t aware of them even being engaged, let alone a marriage. 

Jennie and Jimin never mentioned your mom, knowing you didn’t like pressing on too much about her. Their initial reaction was for you to go, until you explained that you didn’t even know she was getting married. You had crumpled up the invitation and threw it away in the trash.

Jennie consoled you, reassuring you that it was perfectly fine that you don’t attend. While you sulked in the living room, they approached you with the idea of still giving your mom a gift to congratulate her. It showed that you were the bigger person and that you acknowledge her efforts. They made you a better you.

Throughout every flashback, and every memory, your heart was searching for something beyond them, an image that wasn’t them. You laid there, dying, and all you saw was your girlfriend and your boyfriend. There had to be more than that and your heart was looking, waiting, for any other memories to surface. 

But nothing. It was only them and you couldn’t help, but feel a little disappointed. For the last few years of your life, you’ve revolved your entire world around these two people. You’re alone, not because you’re not social, but because you chose to focus all of your efforts into your relationship. And as you slowly lost sense of your consciousness, you became regretful about how you lived.

You heard distant voices, “1, 2, 3!” and you slowly opened your eyes. There was a rush of air that filled your lungs. Your vision adjusted to the bright spotlight and the many surgical masks above you. 

“She’s awake! We got her pulse!” They cheered and one of the nurses pulled down his mask.

“You’re going to be okay, Ms. (Y/N). The surgery was a success.” He smiled and you nodded, reaching for his hand to hold to make sure it was your reality. 

“We’re going to move you to your recovery room now, but you did really well.” The young nurse cheered with so much excitement, there were tears in his eyes. He was a complete stranger that just saved your life, yet he was even crying for you.

“T-Than-k yo-u.” You barely made out and he patted your shoulder. You shut your eyes again and felt the bed move and the voice of Hoseok calling after you as natural light hit your eyelids.

Several hours after the surgery and going over the post-surgery care, you carefully sat up in bed. Hoseok had to leave, but the two stayed. Jennie held onto you tighly, and Jimin blinked at you with stars in his eyes. But the thought you had while you were close to death never left your mind. 

“There is something I need to talk to you about.” You began, and Jimin and Jennie shared glances. “There was a lot to think about when I went under, my heart stopped for a few minutes and I was so close to my death. All I saw were our memories. I saw you two, but... something inside of me longed for something else, something more.” 

“If it’s not the three of us, then I don’t want to be in an individual relationship with either of you. That would mean making me choose and I don’t love one more than the other. It’s either both of you or neither. I will always love you two with all that my heart has to offer, but my life is so valuable and I need someone who is going to recognize that. I realized that the best for us is that there simply is no us. I love you both so much, I really do, but right now is not the right time. I’ll never forget us. ”

“Jennie, you were the first girl I love. Jimin, you were the first boy I love. But throughout it all, I won’t try to remember us. Maybe we’ll realize each other’s worth once we’re ready for it and we’ll be new people when we meet again.”

Jennie didn’t let go of your hand, instead, she nodded to every single word that you poured from your heart. “If that’s what you think is the best option for us, then I’ll accept your decision.” She agreed and no longer shed any more tears. She knew it was for the better, even if it did break her heart.

With a turn of events, Jimin was actually the one crying this time. Jimin’s tears spilled down his plump, supple cheeks. It was difficult for him to talk.. it was difficult for him to express how he felt in general. “I felt so regretful because I thought I was going to lose you forever when I was ready to trade my life for your’s. I’m just happy you’re alive and breathing. I respect your decision and I think that you’ll always know what’s best for us three.” 

Your heart was healing, bit by bit. The shock of almost death woke you up and you no longer wanted to be trapped in something that didn’t seem to work out well anymore. It was time for an end. It was time for change and you were more than thankful to have Jennie and Jimin, who loved you so much, they were willing to let you go and live life with no more regrets. 

Jennie smiled before gently kissing your hand, “I’m unsure how long me and Jimin would’ve lasted without you, but we were two people who fell out of love for each other, but back in love through you. I want you to know that even though you felt like you didn’t belong in our relationship, you were actually the connection between us. You were the reason there was an us.”

It was an epiphany ---- you were not the outlier in the relationship. You were the core center. Jennie and Jimin were more than thankful to have you in their lives, who loved them so much, that you were willing to look past their differences and to fight through every trial. 

“You were the reason there was an us.” That single line replayed in your thoughts, in a constant loop. And you smiled at Jimin and Jennie, the monitor beeping being the only noise in the room.

“I love you both, don’t you ever forget that.” 

[g0r3infezt3dl4n3y]

tw// heavy s3lfd3ad usages

i had a friend i dont remember their name but lemme just say i only knew this person for.. like god 1 day right? n we were just chillin' the day before the incident, yk just being a bunch of gay idiots roleplaying cause that was my escape back then, (they kinda ruined the ship kiioma for me and you'll see why, kind of) so i was maining kiibo cus literally everyone else in ndrv3 was taken or i just didnt have the energy at the time to be like "oh i wanna be kaede!" or "oh i wanna be tenko!" cus.. i, yea, it ws late and literally most ppl were maining my faves 😭 keeb's a uh, ehh 4th fave of mine? (my heart goes to kaito tho, then taro, then miu, then keebs) anyway, so a few minutes of just shit going down and me n my ex friend n them pretending we were all kokichi(cus yeah at first i went for him,bc i wanted to do my neutral au of him just vibing for a few to see what shit was going down right? cus when i play as kichi i usually dont cause problems unless i need to) anyway, it got gay rlly fast and my ex friend was kinda just watching before joining in the fun it wasnt nsfw there was just alot of "hey kiibo lmao what if we kissed?" "wha- IM A FUCKIGN ROBOT" "yeah hes a robot, anyway if u wont kiss him can we hold hands like u did with shuichi?" "THAT WAS A EVENT" kinda stuff i guess anyway a few hrs later another friend of mine comes back and kinda just takes over the whole ass rp so then i just leave and talk to another ex friend bc i at the time didnt wanna deal with saioma b.s since they... made it weird- like rlly weird- (im ok with saioma its just not my forte anyway, so after a few hours i go to sleep or some shit and come back to getting dms like "Chiaki, idk man.. i cant do this anymore... i think im gonna c0mm1t s-1c1d3" WHICH WAS LIKE AT 5 FOR ME AND I RESPONED W/(along the lines) "oh my god please dont i rlly care abt u what happened???" they didnt respond the whole day so i was panicking and sobbing to my friends the whole time like "oh god oh fuck what if it was my fault?? i rlly hope their ok" um, around 11pm their like "oh, yeah im fine i didnt do it i guess i was kinda joking." LIKE WHAT??? WHO JOKES ABOUT THAT?? but nonetheless i had to.. "normalize" it and was like "Oh haha yeah u scared me half to death but thats fine lol." and didnt text them for 4 hours bc it hurt <3

[colemckenzies]

ok here's my mamma mia THOUGHTS (spoilers)

first of all I wanna set the scene this is the 8:20pm screening im tired and emotional already im wearing my utility shorts and manspreading in the centre of the front row and i cried at a mcdonalds advert during the previews

ok so i didn't know going in that donna is straight up DEAD in this film so that was quite a bombshell to drop right at the beginning

how did donna get valedictorian and also doubly so seeing as it seems to be a british university where that Isn't A Thing

i know everyone is hot for lily james and rightly so (my mum: 'i would') but im COMPLETELY in love with Alexa Davies who i realised afterwards is aretha in raised by wolves and utterly unrecognisable so like We Stan Acting

literally tho every scene w young rosie i Could Not Look Away she's so cute... honestly love her.

also incredibly hot and beautiful: the accordion player/pianist in the band 😍

young bill can 100% get it too that angel face

the whole 'why did it have to be me' scene was SO 100 ee moe jee

((one second I have to catch a moth and get it out of my bedroom))

ok he's outside

I got to learn new abba songs!! faves were why did it have to be me, angel eyes, and andente, andente

automatically better than the first film bc it had my second fav song from the musical (knowing me knowing you) but loses points for only being 1 verse/chorus and bc young sam is kinda ugly and boring TBH

STILL didn't have my number 1 fav under attack but they DID play the instrumental so that's fine i GUESS

the young dynamos and young bill were really well cast in terms of looking + acting similar to their older counterparts

young harry was hugh skinner and tbh that's the only way I can think of him so fine

sky is a boring character in the musical and i don't really care abt dominic cooper usual but there were moments in this film... boi

luv all the animals esp the cat goat and donkey

some really great diversity in the ensemble!

related but my mum was excited bc there was someone who looked exactly like her in the dancing queen scene (her all time favourite song also)

the dancing queen scene was BEAUT

gd I wish colin firth was my dad

Waterloo had one of the weakest set ups but the choreography made my heart happy

there was too much making out in this film and many many moments that made me very very sad abt being aro

the scenes w bill's twin brother and harry leaving the business meeting were. odd.

luv that sophie has collected a fourth dad

the Fernando reveal i SCREAMED

also laughed 2 loud at the establishing shot for Japan which had an advert for boruto + jjba

REALLY wish media would stop making me watch people giving birth but it was very emo and cute and religious conceptually so I'll let it slide

the christening scene my god. my god.

ok listen there was already a lot going on and obviously I was audibly sobbing abt the donna/sophie element so did we really need sky making soft loving faces at his child? which I have a known weakness for? we did not.

im so glad they Understood mamma mia is primarily abt sophie and donna's relationship

everyone was very hot in the credits sequence and those lil pyjama-y tops the young dynamos were wearing w the animals on 💞

harry is the most realistic reaction 2 meeting a younger version of yourself

of COURSE richard curtis was involved in this that emotionally manipulative bitch

the end credits scene kdjdhdh Omid.

ive probably forgotten a lot but it's 30 minutes until midnight and this film is A Lot emotionally so good night

[obannthepunished]

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink 

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

[ua-monoma]

[[ hi here’s a text convo me and dani were having during the iimono text convo woohoo feelings ]]

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:16 AM

iida's definition of alright is "im not completely hurting to the point where it is hard to do or think abt anything else"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:17 AM

THATS A BAD DEFINITION IIDA

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:17 AM

if he can do his duties without being hindered he's "alright"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:18 AM

like tbh monoma's big feels rn are like 

 1) i wanna communicate but it feels like iida doesnt actually communicate with me ever 

2) i wanna be honest but it feels like iida isnt being honest with me 

3) i've been opening up a lot which im! proud of!! i can face my emotions now! but iida isnt facing HIS emotions with me and i thought uHh being a couple means we do that together so i guess i'll go fuck myselfsdfskhdgbg

but ALSO from an outside perspective iida Does Communicate and Is Honest... way more than monoma perceives it but monoma sucks. at being able to identify it

A L S O he cant stand iida taking care of him so much sfhgbsfbhsg hes starting to feel rly coddled and he Does Not Like It

and thats largely just cuz hes so unstable and feels guilty about it now that hes more aware of it and wants to either just shut down and stop emoting around iida or, like, he wants to get to take care of iida if/when he ever breaks down cuz then it'll be Equals

kdfgdfhbdfgs i just had a hunch and it was right, monoma is actually older than iida sdfbjhgs

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:22 AM

WAIT HE IS

HES OLDER,

rickyLast Sunday at 4:27 AM

but yeah i think the other thing is that monoma wants stuff from iida but like has not been able to rly voice it (i feel like this is the first time he has ever talked like This Much about emotional bullshit) but also TBH he feels brushed aside every time iida gives him one of his lil speeches

cuz he doesnt respond very well to positivity and also will just latch onto the negative aspects

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:30 AM

WOW then u have iida whos just like "dude im not a fuckign mind reader tell me what u want"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:30 AM

WHICH I KNOW BUT HE'S WORKING ON IT.....

iida: communicate pls monoma: ok heres a big rambling post about stuff i feel iida: ok thats nice. can you communicate with me pls tho monoma: I JUST DID HSDFKGGBDFSG I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS--

^ is how he feels

also hes scared of the Boyfriend Conversation

which i think i've told you before, hes scared cuz of the sex addiction thing but also,

ppl keep coercing him to sex and he doesnt wanna date iida and then be coerced into Officially Cheating,,, pseudo cheating isnt acceptable either but at least like,,, hes Technically not betraying him,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:36 AM

THE RAMBLING THING isnt clear to iida bc its like yes that is how he feels but he is not telling me What He Wants From Me

rickyLast Sunday at 4:37 AM

YEAH thats what i noticed today +_+!!!

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

its like monoma is offering his stance but not a solution or a compromise

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

monoma doesnt rly know that's what he's supposed to do hjbsjfsg

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

does iida have to spell it out

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

y es

like, the last thing iida said kind of made monoma be like

wait lemme look at it again

ok he said he wanted to know the reasons behind his actions and monoma was like,,,,wha--

cuz... 1) theres like never actually a reason and 2) he didnt know iida wanted that from him

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:40 AM

H

rickyLast Sunday at 4:40 AM

like monoma barely even recognizes half his actions cuz theyre all based on impulses and tbh if nobody pointed them out he'll just move on like nothing's happened

like he compartmentalizes,,, s o much,,,,,, and then represses it like instantly like TBH

like barely anyone talks about monoma's growing alcoholism so he just keeps doing that, and no one has had the chance to tell him to stop communicating with villains so he kept doing that too but like. Because it wasnt pointed out he barely has a problem with it and can function fine

everyone harps on him for the sex stuff tho so he's just like Drowning In Guilt

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:44 AM

is there literally-- any way iida can actually help him because, i just , wow

rickyLast Sunday at 4:44 AM

sfjgkdfg 

iida: here's a list of questions to communicate with, pls answer monoma: dissociates instantly 

whOH YEAH DEFINITELYi know that sounds all depressing sjhsdfghthe fix is honestly super easy tbh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:45 AM

HE ASKED TWO WHOLE QUESTIO-jvhcfdjsjcxsdjhds

god im glad there is indeed a fix

rickyLast Sunday at 4:45 AM

I WAS TYPING UP MORE META I HAVENT GOTTEN TO IT YET

monoma's problem is literally just that he doesnt have the vocabulary for, like, anything

what he wants is an open relationship but he doesnt know what that is and TO BE QUITE FRANK his only knowledge of one is fucking sen and kosei

so like, he's only hesitating so much cuz he doesnt know how to voice what he wants cuz Tbh monoma hates not sounding smart and being emotive means bumbling around like an idiot

he still feels brushed off tho,

iida bls be sad around him more

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:02 AM

IIDA DOESNT LIKE BEING SAD

its weird for him

he always like

how do i put this

he takes his sadness, pisses on it, and sets it on fire

rickyLast Sunday at 5:02 AM

oh God i just realized iida is doing the same thing the guy i was gay for did FUCKMeJFBJHFBGDG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

oh he pissed on his  sadness too? worm

rickyLast Sunday at 5:03 AM

he did the 'im alright is actually crashing and burning in super slow motion for months at a time' thing

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

iida is hollow more often than he is sad

1JDCKCDSNHSDSNDSCJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:05 AM

meanwhile i had the loudly has breakdowns and then gets upset about being taken care of despite him insisting because of his Fetish for taking care of people thing

me: glares at iidas Fetish

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:06 AM

ok this is more of a hc but

iida likes taking care of ppl bc his parents rarely took care of him uwus

o hes like

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

CRIES

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:07 AM

being the Dad and Mom he never had

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

see that Sucks cuz my hc is that monoma was raised to be as self sufficient as possible as Fast as possible which meant wow we aint got time for emotions fam just Put Them In A Box

oh is the box overflowing, put the BOX in a BIGGER BOX

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

emotionally stunted boys sure are great

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

i k r

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

only in theory tho,

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

LOL

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

irl i wouldve just

choked them

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

sobs angrily about iida

share your emotions biiiiiiitchhhh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

hits the back of monoma's head

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

hEY

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

just tell him what u want u stupid fuckJCDFJDSSD

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

HE WANTS YOU TO SHARE HIS EMOTIONS HSFBGJHFGS HE SAID THAT!!!!AND IIDA WAS LIKE, NAH

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

IIDA ISNT RLLY THAT SURE OF HIS EMOTIONS EITHER THATS WHY!!!

HE THINKS HES THIS BUT HES ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE

rickyLast Sunday at 5:10 AM

THATS MONOMAS PROBLEM TOO YOU BUTT DFHBSDFGJGSG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

FUCK

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

OHMY

GODSTRANGLES THEM BOTH

IIMONO: FEELINGS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

w iida its more like. he knows deep down but he doesnt , think , its important enough , to be addressed

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

i i d a b l s

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

"as class rep i must be a leader before anything else!!!!!"

rickyLast Sunday at 5:12 AM

monoma is honestly like 'iida help this is the very first time in my life i have felt Guilt what am i supposed to do with this!!!!!!

iida: whats wrong monoma: IM SAD????  WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER TELL ME WHAT A CONSEQUENCE WAS iida: ,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:14 AM

JXVCDJXCDSAHJSDSDJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:15 AM

and t b h he kind of is like, automatically expecting like... a Reward for getting this far but iida just kind of keeps being like 'okay cool. and what else'

and monoma is like HJSFBKHBFGS THAT TOOK ME 3 WEEKS TO FIGURE OUT B L S

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:28 AM

fuckcdncnddxjsn

rickyLast Sunday at 5:28 AM

,,,, in person or continue the text

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:29 AM

CCCCONTINUE...they rarely text god pls

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

TBH YEAH...

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:30 AM

iida has no Time for his phone he needs to read 30 chapters ahead so he doesnt fall behind!!!

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

monoma is Traumatized by all their other text convos so he doesnt--

im including the times when i post this btw because God Damn i love that its likefucking 5am over here

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:31 AM

GO TO BED?

rickyLast Sunday at 5:31 AM

this is 500% a 'im sad texting my bitchass pseudo bae about my feelings at fucking sunrise after they kept me up crying all night' conversation

whats a bed