#and missed dad vader lmao

[skyguyy]

Hey! I know I have been sorta of gone for a while after my dad passed away. But I am feeling well enough to come back, and for those waiting on my current fic Sing me the Song of Stars, I am working on the next update so yay!

[aces-to-apples]

Never Have I Ever: djarnakin :))))))))))))))

For this ask meme

Asdfghjkl

Haven't written it (:hmmeyes:) but i suppose what i'd do is steal sheevy's victory lap out from under him by having anakin get kix-ed: someone, either a not-in-the-loop seppie or just a nondescript republic enemy, gets the jump on anakin and carbonites him for transport. Somehow *handwaves* the transport gets lost or maybe the ones who have him store him away and then get murderized before doing anything with him. No one can find him and it becomes this great republic tragedy and actually very little changes beyond not having darth vader at his side; he still activates the chips and destroys the jedi order, the empire still rises.

(Even the twins still get split up and raised by the organas and larses because padmé twigs that sheev is, yaknow, evil and decides that it's too dangerous to raise the children of anakin skywalker when sheev definitely knows that her kids would be his. So instead she pretends she lost her one child in childbirth and instead smuggles them off naboo and to their chosen caretakers; she does in fact have a relationship with them over the years, she just can't publically raise them, especially as a key figure of the rebellion.)

The Hero With No Fear becomes a tragic figure to rally behind, something something a martyr for the republic possibly even removed by palpatine himself for how he'd no doubt oppose the creation of the empire. Cut to 30 years later and din djarin the mandalorian stumbles into wherever carbanakin ended up. Maybe grogu is the one who decarbs him? And of course it's not like djarin is gonna know who anakin is, on sight or in general.

Honestly anakin probably (metaphorically) swings first, because last he knew he was surrounded by enemies and honestly carbonite defrosting has gotta be hell on the system. So anakin comes out swinging and djarin's honestly pretty used to that. They duke it out for a minute until grogu gets distressed enough to separate them using the force, and then suddenly this random feral human throwing djarin around like a tin can and taking hits that would drop the average trandoshan constitution softens into a confused young man asking djarin's baby why he feels older, why the whole universe feels so dark and cold and empty. And like, djarin's not made of stone, clearly this guy is having a rough time and? He knows grogu somehow?? So they bring him back to their ship (rip razor crest i miss you buddy) and let him catch up on the whole damn galaxy and it's. Not pretty.

I don't think i'm a skilled enough writer to make a compelling narrative about, like, grieving the loss of literally everyone and everything you've known while also forging new connections to support you through the process but like. That's what would happen next lmao. And eventually they make out about it idk. Grogu deserves two dad(die)s.

[shukruut]

boba/luke just makes me think of the sheer drama potential if, like, vader/boba were a thing (it’s a fairly popular ship i think) and then boba dates luke and he eventually finds out who his dad was, and then luke finding out boba fucked his dad like😂 i just think that’d be very funny, esp if it’s both pre-esb and post-rotj lol. also the hilarity of han being luke’s brother in law😂

anon said boba/luke and y'all came crawling out of a random hole in the ground (me included lmao)

i think I've seen boba/vader as a direct result of anakin/rex (because he misses his voice so another clone of jango would make do etc etc angst ensues)

han and/or leia giving boba the shovel talk would be hilarious

[lowkeyanakin]

Anakin for the character ask thing 🤭

HEHEHEHE ALRIGHT <3

favourite thing about them

mhhhhh apart from being unfairly pretty, i love how emotionally fragile he is. it takes very little to hurt him because he truly wears his heart on his sleeve, which makes him very relatable imho (i share this trait and can see myself in his insecurities).

he's my emotional wreck and i love him for it.

least favorite thing about them

the anger issues and the entitlement. first of all, calm tf down??? take a chill pill son and then maybe think about how sometimes you're the one who's wrong. you're 22, stubborn, overpowered, and refuse to listen to other people's opinions. you don't have all the answers so shut up and listen to your elders <3

favorite line

,,,,,,,,,considering that every time he opens his mouth he's a fucking menace i'd say "his fate will be the same as ours" because fuck you sheev. or, vader-wise, literally anything because he's goddamn hilarious. but the best is definitely "Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director."

he takes after his master lmao

brOTP

with rex!! poor man has seen so much shit and still loves him.

OTP

obikin of course lmao, complementary halves of a single warrior and all that juicy stuff

nOTP

canon anidala. m'sorry but no. absolutely not. he's too stupid, she's fucking unhinged and almost as insane as he is. they have nothing in common and would never work as an actual couple. she wants some dick and he's the first virgin twink around, but if they had fucked once (1) before getting married things would have been much different. they were simply horny and lonely, no need for the rest.

random headcanon

when he's feeling overwhelmed he likes to lie on the floor because it reminds him of how, on tatooine, the stone floor of his hut was always cool and it helped with the heat. when it's really bad it takes him hours to get up again and he only allows obi-wan to get close to him to stroke his hair.

unpopular opinion

i hate the fact that some authors (like, actual published sw authors) think that he wanted or needed a father figure. like, why????? he never had one, it's not like at some point his father left. there's no void to fill, no experience for him to miss (like, children raised by two dads would not want or need a mother, they have two dads!). i know what he says in aotc but it doesn't make sense in-universe in my opinion. so no, any father-related talk when anakin is involved is just stupid. no daddy issues for that man, only mommy ones lol.

a song i associate with them

breathe underwater by Placebo. No explanations needed, the lyrics are clearly about him during ROTS.

favorite picture of them

mhhhhhhhhhhh probably these two:

(yes the second is a gif BUT LOOK AT THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES)

send me a character !!!!

[imadetheline]

💯 You know, I started thinking about things from Vader’s perspective, and good golly, I ended up getting SO MUCH sympathy for him since I realized that he’s been essentially living in a parental NIGHTMARE during the four years between ANH and ROTJ

From Vader’s perspective, he spent NINETEEN YEARS thinking that the child he was mourning was dead, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN he discovers that HE WAS ALIVE ALL ALONG, and that he missed his son’s literal entire childhood. And to make it even worse, from Vader’s POV (which is inherently biased, of course), not only did the guy who chopped off all his limbs basically rip his son from his wife’s corpse, steal him from Vader, and have him raised on a hellhole planet, but he then got Luke “radicalized” into joining a “terrorist” organization that sent his young, tiny, largely untrained son on missions SO DANGEROUS that they bordered on suicidal. And the stuff that happened to Luke on those missions?? If Luke were my son, I’d have gotten a heart attack if I heard even HALF of the stuff I learned had happened to him. Among other things, he nearly got drowned to death, got mind controlled by some eldritch abomination that nearly ATE HIM ALIVE, and he very nearly got ENSLAVED by Grakkus the Hutt

No WONDER Vader was so frantic and desperate to capture Luke. If he even heard HALF of this information, Vader probably wanted to get Luke just so that he could at least ensure that Luke would be SAFE with him, and NOT be in the hands of some “terrorist” organization (Vader’s POV) that keeps on nearly getting him killed

omg he totally is just having a crisis at all times from when he finds out Luke is his son.

like I'm sure he's got spies in the rebellion but they're super confused when suddenly all their missions go from getting top secret info to making sure Commander Skywalker is drinking enough water and not getting assigned certain very dangerous missions. but it's not like they can do anything abt it cause darth vader is their boss so they're like ok and there's just random people like shoving food at luke in the middle of briefings cause vader is trying very hard to parent without being there lmao.

and he keeps getting delayed reports abt whatever shit luke has managed to get into after the fact and suddenly he has to get suit repairs way more often cause his heart keeps trying to give out 😂

poor vader. he's just a very tired, overprotective dad trying to watch out for his rebellious kid. (also is the mind controlling eldritch from the comics? cause I'd love to read it if you know which one it is)

I'm sorry this one took me a bit longer to get to. life got in the way lol. but as always I love reading your asks and hearing your amazing sw thoughts! thank you!

[darthbecky726]

Bad Batch 1x01 spoilers

I've never done something like this before, but I figured I'd start. Reactions to the first episode of The Bad Batch. (This ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but whatever)

Spoilers under the cut

Red logo burning away starts strong

Yay narrator dude!!

Feels like clones wars

Animated rots scenes!!

And what grevious did after the rots beginning

HOLY SHIT DEPA!!!!!

And caleb right???

And we're in

Omg who voiced young caleb bc it sounds a lot like fpj but aged down and he def doesn't sound like the 14 I know he was when this happened

I like how we started out on familiar characters but not ahsoka or anyone from tcw. We started w young kanan and his master and we know what happened to them and all but if anyone watching hasn't seen rebels they wouldn't be lost as to who caleb and depa are, they'd just assume they're random jedi in o66

Good ol droid screaming as it falls off a cliff

Wow. Them.

I love crosshair

And wrecker

And tech

And echo

And hunter

B1's are so dumb

Lmao the salt from hunter

I feel like depas forehead pearls are a bit unrealistically large but I have no cultural standpoint to really know so...

Caleb's voice is too deep in the same way that jack frost from rotg's voice doesn't match his character model

Ah wrecker not really knowing what she means and echo, the one who has been trained to deal w people and hung out w ani and obi is just like 'thanks general'

Obes kenobes mention

Why is echo so pale

Depa and caleb feel a little too pale too tbh I wonder if it's the lighting or the whitewashing

Wow caleb is a lot like ezra, I can see why kanan wanted to train him lol

Is this what separates caleb and depa, leading to her telling him to run??? Do I need to read dume???

Oh no

Noooooooooo

Bb didn't get the order!

Oh caleb nooooo! Nooooooo they didn't receive that order, they can help you!!!

And he's gone

Oh I need an au where caleb stayed with bb and they helped him after depa died

Hunter sounds so much like rex it's weird like ik they're supposed to sound the same but it feels like wrecker is replacing rex or something. Even tho ik rex's story is over for the time being

Crosshair, no! Don't shoot at him! He's baby

Oh no did crosshair get o66???? It didn't seem to trigger anything in any of the rest of them, but is crosshair close enough to 'reg' for it to have triggered???

😭😭good soldiers follow orders

"sure thing, boss" "hey hunter got a sitch"

Crosshair acting sus

Oh I love watching padawans fight, they're so good!!

I hope that hit to the tree did a lil cognitive recalibration for crosshair, he was acting crazy

Caleb looks so scared!! He just watched his master get gunned down by his friends and now strange clones are trying to kill him/confusing him

Oh caleb

Oh no crosshair don't try to kill him!! Hunters trying to help!

Also hunter doesn't sound as much like rex w the helmet off, but it's weird bc most of the clones are distinguishable by voice even w helmets on. I guess it's the 'im in charge' voice

Star wars if caleb had gone w the bb

Oh hunter u sly dog lying to crosshair so he doesn't go after him. U gotta figure out why crosshair responded to o66 and no one else in ur unit did

Oh crosshair knows he's been lied to

I will always love coming-out-of-hyperspace shots

Ooh kamino, always nice this time of year

Echo is done w wrecker

Why hasn't crosshair taken his helmet off yet, lil bit sus

They better get his chip out on kamino, I don't wanna deal w this

Oof hunter 

Oh who’s that, giving me cloud city vibes

Extreme cloud city vibes wow

Never realized how many clones are just on kamino

Coruscant guard?!?! FOX?!?!

The vibes here, omg

‘The war is over’ wow

Oh no who was that

A female jedi, doesn’t appear to be shaak, couldn’t see any montrals but never know, we don’t officially know how or where she died

Ok wow none of the bb has their helmets on except for crosshair, who got the order. The regs around kamino all have their helmets on. That scene in victory and death when ahsoka took rex’s helmet off- 

And crosshair, he’s actins strange too

Oh tech, do u guys get bullied by regs a lot??

I love their barracks

Lol he finally took his helmet off only to stick a toothpick in his mouth, can he get anymore cliched?

Wrecker is seeming a lot more infantilized than he was in the s7 eps...

Yeah crosshair’s being sus

Ooh, he shifted his toothpick

Lmao ‘what programming’

Well documented my ass

Tech’s speech patterns are so stiff and robotic, it’s like he has to remind himself to talk in basic instead of binary or some shit

Tech throwing shade at crosshair

I can’t quite tell if we’re supposed to like crosshair at this point

Lmao we been knew

Oop ‘more machine than man’ the vader parallels are serving folks

Understatement.

Ugh sheev

Crusty ass bitch

Straight from rots wow

Who is the mystery child and why does he look mandalorian

Ooh he gone

Oh no, the beninning of the empire

Cheering?? Why?!?

That imperial march fade in tho

Thank you echo

Oh shit mystery child is female

Omega, I would not have guessed the pronunciation of your name by reading it wow

She def seems mandalorian

Ugh kaminoans

Oh the kaminoan pronounced it as it usually is, huh.

Omega’s character model def seems more masculine than female, I now headcanon her as trans

Ugh tarkin, I hate that crusty bitch

Empire politics ugh

I love how much shade is being thrown at tarkin and his stormtrooper proposal lmao

Why do all these clones have the standard haircut?? ik them boys like their variety, even if these boys are still under o66′s programming

Wrecker you’re being extremely loud

They’re all being loud in the mess, why

They remember, kid

Lol child

Oh my sweet summer children

The dad instinct was clearly passed genetically from jango lol all these clones got it

Why are background characters so mean? What about it, shiny? Why is ur hair regulation, reg??

The Sad Batchn omg the slander

Lol the food fight I’ve read about in the fics, its finally happening!

Is she.... australian??

The over-animation of character movements in this is reminding me of the looser style of rebels, as opposed to the more clunky style of tcw

Lmao he’s still got food on him

Food fight!!

‘Not again’???!!! Echo!! Wdym not again?! Food fights have happened before?!?? Wait. W bb or w torrent, bc I can see torrent having food fights on the resolute-

Crosshair’s just eating his food until someone messes

I like how echo still has his kamas

Oh no echo!!

Oh echo’s trauma, he doesn’t trust medical droids! Where’s kix when u need him, huh?

Lol, comically long name for a robot trope is alive and well, huh

Lmao the droid lowers his voice like ik this is a perceived bad thing, but I will not tolerate this slander, boys u need to get off kamino

‘The shock’ lmao whyyy

Lmao tech!!

Oh, echo recognized tarkin from the citadel!

‘When you blew up’ lmao

Oh they make me sad

Aaaaah fox!

Man the domino squad nostalgia

Those droids look cool

This is a neat scene, I like seeing them in action

Wrecker reminding me of hevy, but he’s got the training and success to back it up

Live fire???? No!!

Ugh I hate tarkin

Oh no wtecker

Did he just get shot!???! 

Oh no crosshair, be careful!

Tarkin’s trying to kill them!!!

Lol wrecker I love you

Echo using his mech hand as a weapon, truly an arc

Now I wanna see what happened on felucia

I like how tech’s just sitting on the droid’s shoulders

And hunter just had a knife

These boys, I love them

Oh no tech bby

Hot damn that was cool

Wrecher things so too lmao

Tarkin’s like “why didn’t that work??’

Oh new baby clones

No tf they could not, they would never serve the empire and those bitches

I love that they have a window apartment lol

Ugh tarkin u shifty

They all stand at attention, only after glaring at tarkin

Oh no onderon

I hate tarkin, he’s a bitch

How quickly could bitch lord and darth sad have replaced the armory on kamino??

Crosshair still acting sus

Neither does echo, kid

No.

I like omega.

Crosshair, with the sassy hand on the hip-

What does that even mean?? Or elude to??

Lmao tech messing w wrecker, they rlly r bros

Its prob the vegetation

Oh, I missed onderon, but not this much

Lol the put-upon sigh

Its clearly saw and his rebels

Saw! Looking sharp, what’s w the hair....

That’s a very geometric beard, saw

They didn’t kill any jedi!

That’s not what happened, tech

‘The clones’ bitch that was rex and ahsoka, check urself

Aw, I’ve always like the design of imperial probe droids

Thank you, echo

It seems like crosshair’s o66 programming and his mutation are warring w his morals

Lmao the shade

I knew she was an enhanced clone!

Oh, so she is (at least on paper) trans! She’s a clone of jango, and yet she’s female! That must be her modification, but it makes me wonder why

Lol *flicks toothpick*

Aw, they have a picture of themselves! Recent-ish, too, its got echo!

Oh no, AZI!

The difference between them arriving earlier and now, the lack of escort...

Creepy how they had to open the hanger door themselves

Oh no! Everyone!

The coruscant guard, I wish they had gotten better

Tarkin u dramatic bitch

‘The brig’ this ain’t some tallship

Lol echo that shade

Their blacks are different from the ones seen in the past

Crosshair, stop being a bitch

Oh, I don’t like that phrase!! And the fact that crosshair screamed it in echo’s face makes me uneasy. Did rex fill echo in on why fives died?? I hope so...

Crosshair, ur chip hurting??

This child, I like her.

No! Don’t hit hunter!

No crosshair!!!!

I dislike this immensly

So they do still have inhibitor chips!

Tarkin you monster

Oh poor crosshair

ihatethisihatethisihatethis

Lol tech I love you

Wrecker you sweet pea

Lol that’s adorable

I love how they form a “wall” its so suspicious 

He was about to say that, omega

Aaww, echo protective boi

Wrecker shut up tf

That was cool

Sneaky bois

This reminds me of rex and ahsoka sneaking around in v&d

Echo runs so stupid

Oh no they winter soldier’d him!

If he says who the hell is crosshar, I will lose my shit

Yes, he has. They took it from him.

The toothpick

I wonder how they’re gonna get crosshair back to normal

Not good that they nabbed the sniper

Oh, crosshair shot him in the same place he got hit during training!

Ooh, a kaminoan on their side!

I hope omega doesn’t die

Poor trigger etiquette, crosshair

Wonder if omega has any speciality training

They’re just gonna leave him there!?!?!?!?!

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Omega reminds me of young boba 

Oh, so its in her dna

Go back for crosshair!!

Holy fucking shit that was amazing! I didn’t expect it to be that long, but I’m not complaining! This ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but I don’t feel like cutting anything out, so sorry for the long post but at least I put it under a cut.

[rebel-ezra]

yes. that time again. I watched another star wars movie.

here’s my chaotic take on revenge of the sith (spoiler alert I absolutely loved this one):

YEEES the intro god I love it

“flying is for droids” I love obi-wan’s hatred for flying

OMG R4 JUST GOT BEHEADED

“WHOM THE FUCK? IS THAT A DROID? WHAT THE FUCK WHO IS THAT WHY IS HE SO FIT HE IS A DROID???”

when a jedi takes off their coat u know it’s about to get real (also jedi fashion is elite)

“OH NO FORCE CHOKE”

ANAKIN why’d you do that

LMAO THE WAY OBI-WAN HOLDS ONTO ANAKIN 

“do you have a plan b?” sdlfjslkdf sir I adore you

padmé is pregnant oh my god (why am I surprised I knew anakin would have kids)

the way general grievous walks is so fucking hilarious to me 

“MASTER ANAKIN??”

lol nvm he’s just on the council

the way obi-wan sits in his chair screams gay

I dont trust the chancellor

“anakin… so pretty…”

oh my god so many wookies

“padmé… so pretty…”

I witnessed the “hello there” “general kenobi” meme!!!!!!!

this dude has FOUR ARMS and EVERY ONE HOLDS A LIGHTSABER

I love this yipping creature (dont attack me they put [yipping] as subtitles and I dont know its actual name)

HOW DOES THE CHANCELLOR KNOW ABOUT PADMÉ??

do I still have that post about obi-wan’s limp wrist somewhere

“I pledge myself to your teachings” anakin u dumb bitch

“AAAAAA DARTH VADER”

“if they are all destroyed” sir we are NOT going to destroy every single jedi in the galaxy

oh my god they are, in fact, destroying all the jedi in the galaxy

“those are kids anakin you can’t do that”

SO IT WAS CHEWIE AFTER ALL???

“miss you, I will” :(

FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE???

padmé where are you going and why are you all alone you are pregnant ma’am- oh nvm obi-wan snuck aboard

I have a really bad feeling about this

*super intense scene between padmé and anakin* *a sudden shot of obi-wan standing a few feet away with his hands on his hips like a disappointed dad*

“OMG FORCE CHOKE!!”

“THATS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN !!!!!”

oh my god THEY’RE FIGHTING

“your arrogance blinds you” sir YOU the only arrogant one here 

LET HIM GO ANAKIN

nice kick obi-wan

why do they always have to fight near THE EDGE OF A CLIFF or literally anything they can fall off of

“obi-wan WHY would you jump on that?? one misstep and you’re in LAVA sir”

A LAVA WATERFALL???

did obi-wan chop off both of his legs?

“OHHHH HE DID”

HE IS ON FIRE ANAKIN IS ON FIRE

obi-wan carrying padmé :’)

the ending of the movie with the switching between padmé and anakin is SO POWERFUL

yea no this is a great one

[infcinity]

was that [LOGAN LERMAN]? oh no no, that was just [BEN SOLO], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [STAR WARS]. they are [TWENTY FOUR] years old, use [HE/HIM], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from washington dc. too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

** this is a completely updated bio for ben as I’ve changed some things **

how long has your character been here

just a little over two years now.

what is your character’s job

nothing, other than being a simp for his gf.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

ben has been pulled from the very end of the rise of skywalker when he fades into the force, but physically he’s pulled from a few years into his training with snoke.

has any magic affected your character

nope.

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know!!

okay so let’s get into this, because this update has been a long time coming!!!! i’m mixing some of the canon from both the films and the comics, but there are things i’m missing out because i don’t like how they were handled in the films. 

ben is the son of han solo and leia organa, brother to jacen, jaina and anakin. 

he went off to train with his uncle luke when he was a child and remined there until he was manipulated into destroying the jedi temple, like his grandfather once had. 

from there on out, he began his training with snoke - who verbally and physically abused him, at the hands of snoke he found himself being mentally and physically beaten into submission to become a servant of the darkside, where he became kylo ren and the leader of the knights of ren after killing and defeating their previous leader

ben never really had any friends when he was in the jedi temple, just a few friends who he was more acquaintances with than anything else. 

he’s been angry for so many years - manipulated from birth by palpatine, who had been every voice he’d ever heard in his head, snoke, vader - these voices swayed his decision to join the darkside. 

everything that happened in the force awakens and the last jedi are all the same and for the events of the rise of skywalker ;; the things that happened in this film are mostly staying the same - like him returning to the darkside and dying, but anything other than that didn’t happen. 

here in dc! 

ben has been here for a little over two years and he’s settled in pretty well and mostly has his anger issues under control. 

he’s more social than he would have been before - he still gets bursts of wanting to stay inside and not talk to people, not even his family, but most of the time he’ll be around the white house or in the gardens with his dog, archer. 

he’s had a hard time of adjusting to not being anything here, for his whole life he was told he’d be a jedi and then after that with everything with snoke, he was paraded around to be a darkside user of the force he’s not a sith lmao, but now he’s just trying to be normal and live his life. 

ben is now a dad !! boogie woogie!!! ben and ari’s twins were born a few weeks ago - alara leia and jaxon bail solo!!!! 

this is really just an update of his past intro? there’s not really much new info here tbh?? but he’s doing much better than he was before and less angry - he now has something to be happy about - his family are here, well most of them and he has a fiance now and two kids - jaxon and elara ! 

[falllpoutboy]

ms. ashley there’s no fun in stating who has the best dick game. we need a breakdown a la the iconic marvel one ma’am that’s the only thing worth fighting about. is pt anakin mediocre? is palpatine laying better pipe then kylo ren? could a kaminoan get it?

ALRIGHT I WAS WATCHING TROS BUT THIS IS 100x more interesting so lets just go the list on which sw is laying the best pipe 😌🤚🏾

Prequels:

Qui-Gon jinn: tbh he doesnt fuck as much but when he does its fine

Obi wan: listen its ewan mcgregor but obi wan is such a stickler to the rules but we all know from miss satine got smashed to smithereens

Darth maul- his red hot dick didnt work as well after he repaired himself after bisected tbh

Anakin skywalker- yall know padme wouldnt put up with his anti democracy ass if his dick was trash + we all know he doesnt pull out so it must be good

Mace windu- samuel l jackson… ok sure

Palpatine- when he was in his prime… he didnt fuck at all sorry he sees it as useless and only procreated through clones so 😔

Original trilogy

Uncle owen- beru must’ve been satisfied enough to stay with him after all those years in the middle of nowhere, tatooine

Luke skywalker- yall know he was taking dick instead giving it out so

Han solo- bisexual icon verse icon !!! his stroke game was so good but his pull out track record wasn’t, unfortunately (re: k*lo r*n)

Lando calrissian- another bi verse legend, he has 8 daughters, that’ll says enough ok

Boba fett- he and din djarin used to fuck so you’ll have to ask him

Darth vader- third degree burned dick... was only touched by himself

Palpatine AGAIN- shriveled up dick eww again no usage at all

Sequel trilogy

Finn- his dick will initiate operation put a hole in your back (re: lmao nope)

Poe dameron- 90% of the time he taking dick, he very rarely gives it (re: zorii bliss)

K*lo r*n- his dick literally does not work snoke had him sprayed and neutered, sorry kyluxes and ratlos

Armitage hux- sprayed and neutered x2

PALPATINE, for the third time- listen he tried to fool us talking about he fucked to produce rey’s dad but we all know he’s a liar

[tfakylo]

The Last Jedi Thoughts

So I just saw The Last Jedi for the second time and I didn’t write a post about it the other day bcos I saw it at a midnight showing and it was lit 4am by the time I got home BUT ANYWAY

- “general hugs” POE I LOVE U A LOT N UR A LEGEND, PLS ANTAGONISE HUX FURTHER IN THE NEXT FILM xxx

- any time Carrie Fisher was on screen I wanted to properly sob bcos I miss her so much (I was an uncontrollable MESS at the end of the credits)

- I had so much hope for Finnpoe actually being canon in this film (FINNPOE IS STILL ALIVE, DON’T @ ME) and the first few times Poe and Finn were onscreen together in The Last Jedi were so great but then I feel the plot just tried to get them as far away from one another as possible n I’m so sad about that. Hoping for more Finnpoe/Stormpilot in the next film

- I wanted Rey and Luke to have more of a connection but him keeping his distance from her made sense as the film progressed and we learnt more about his whole drama w Ben/Kylo. I LIVED FOR THAT SCENE WHEN THEY WERE ON THE CLIFF AND HE TICKLED REY’S HAND W THE BRANCH

- I loved Rose’s character so much!! Kelly Marie Tran was so great and even tho I still ship Stormpilot more, she deserves all the happiness in the world and her and Finn are rlly cute together

- Chewie becoming an adoptive dad to the porgs was adorable and I NEED MORE OF THAT SHIT IN THE NEXT FILM PLS

- Supreme Leader Snoke has (HAD) such a killer wardrobe (I need that yellow robe in my life)

- Kylo Ren had so much character development and I’m such a fan of this! Adam Driver brought so much to the character and honestly I believe he’s gonna have a redemption arc in the next film, BEN SOLO WILL RETURN FOLKS

- Rey also had so much character development! I loved that they showed her also being drawn to the dark side and the fact that she (LIKE EVERYONE) has darkness within her. It helped show both the similarities and the differences between her and Kylo bcos whilst they both are drawn to both sides, she does a better job at fighting the darkness within her. However, we also see that there is still the possibility that she could turn as dark as Kylo. Daisy Ridley did an excellent job!!

- I loved how Rey kept accidentally fucking things up and making the caretakers of Ahch-To hate her bcos honestly RELATABLE

- LETS TALK ABOUT REY AND KYLO/BEN’S FORCE BOND BCOS HONESTLY I SHIP IT AND I NEED MORE OF IT.

- shirtless Kylo KILLED ME (and Rey xxx)

- Kylo’s puppy slide on the floor bcos of their first connection is ADORABLE, UR NOT FOOLING ANYONE MR UR IN LOVE W HER

- Initially hated Holdo apart from her purple hair bcos that was cool af (nobody is allowed to talk to Poe lit that BACK OFF) but grew to love her, thanks for sacrificing urself to save the Resistance babe

- Finn and Rose’s ride on the fathier is so good and the fact that they freed ALL OF THEM from the stables was so great thanks 4 fighting that fight for animal rights as well as fighting the First Order kids xx

- BB-8 and DJ’s fast growing friendship was beautiful UNTIL HE DJ TURNED OUT TO B A FUCKIN SNAKE WHO SOLD OUT FINN AND ROSE

-the droid that looks lit BB-8 on Snoke’s ship is now BB-8’s goth gf, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules xxx

- can’t believe that Luke nearly killed his nephew (YES U KILLED BEN SOLO LUKE UR AS MUCH AT FAULT AS SNOKE BUT AT LEAST HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY), also I just wanted to hug Ben Solo when he woke up and his uncle was standing over him w a lightsaber. I’m not even sad, just DISAPPOINTED IN U LUKE

- the Kylo and Rey lift scene resurrected my love for Reylo

- Kylo/Ben killing Snoke to save Rey was fuckin iconic and their battle against Snoke’s guards was a great first date don’t @ me REYLO IS REAL (or at least it’s gonna b)

- honestly I’m so glad that the whole Rey Skywalker rumour turned out to b fake bcos that would’ve made this film rlly awkward had it not been, but finding out Rey’s backstory makes me so sad for her bcos my lil baby was abandoned by her trashy parents n she deserves so much better than that - glad that she’s reunited with Finn by the end of the film bcos he’s her fam and they’re so good for each other!!

- Kylo Ren basically telling Rey to let go of the past and everything that goes w it is basically me trying to give myself relationship advice WHAT A MOOD but also KYLO THAT IS NOT HOW U TALK TO GIRLS U LIKE FS

- a huge fan of Yoda reappearing just to prove to Luke he’s a bigger drama queen by bringing in lightning when Luke only has a tiny lil flame

- Kylo as the new supreme leader is gonna b so hot- I mean he’s surpassed even Darth Vader in rank now n he’s so bitter and angry by the end of the film but at the same time he’s so torn and emotionally messy there’s so much more room for further character development for him n I LOVE IT

- I’M SO UPSET THAT PHASMA DIED BCOS SHE WAS AN ICON BUT AT LEAST SHE WENT OUT FULL OF RAGE AND BOTH ROSE AND FINN MANAGED TO SURVIVE

- I’m so glad that Rose saved Finn from literally launching himself into that fuckin death cannon BUT SHE BETTER NOT DIE BCOS OF IT BCOS I LOVE HER WAY TOO MUCH FOR THAT!! also Rose and Finn’s kiss was probs the most pure thing I’ve ever seen MY BABIES

- Luke and Leia’s reunion was lovely but I wished they got to speak for longer, especially since it’s the last onscreen interaction we’re ever gonna get between them now

- Hux saying “do u think u got him??” when Kylo is being the king of drama is so petty and I LIVED FOR IT (especially when nothing actually even hit Luke lmao)

- I’m so happy that Luke only appeared as a force projection and Kylo couldn’t actually kill him bcos it meant he got to go peacefully (I’M SO SAD ABOUT HIS DEATH BUT AT LEAST IT WASN’T RLLY VIOLENT AND MESSY LIT HAN’S WHICH I’M STILL NOT OVER!!)

- Finn and Rey’s reunion hug is everything I dreamed of and now Rose has to get better so Finn has everyone who loves n supports him around him bcos my baby boy deserves this

- the last connection between Rey and Kylo makes me believe there is still hope for Ben Solo bcos he looked genuinely upset so I’m hoping the boy changes his ways for good in the next and redeems himself so that him and my girl Rey can b together! either that or that she takes him up on his offer to rule beside him bcos that would also b hot and I’m not fussy at this stage xxx

- I kept forgetting that Rey and Poe had never actually met I LOVED SEEING THEM ONSCREEN TOGETHER AND THEY’RE GONNA B BESTIES IN NO TIME I CAN FEEL IT

- I hope that little boy from Canto Bight grows up to b a Jedi in the next film

- I’m so glad that they didn’t kill off Princess Leia bcos she’s always gonna b alive to us

- all in all I LOVED the whole cast of The Last Jedi and I really enjoyed the film, looking forward to what the next one brings!! Hoping Rose and Rey get to meet and that they become best buds

[mothmage]

watching spn 15x18 after not watching the show in years:

-I only vaguely know who half of these people are

-have sam and dean’s voices always been this deep?? they sound fucking ridiculous lmao no one talks like that irl

-who is billie? ive never heard of her and like bad guy?? but she can like, get it

-so is jack like a kid or an adult? i can’t tell and got mixed messages from what i absorbed via tumblr over the years

-CHARLIE’S BACK????????????????? why did no one tell me i wouldve started watching again earlier. last i remember, she was in oz with dorothy lmaoooo when even was that??

-so sam and dean havent been in touch with charlie this whole time? damn

-this show can only write gay relationships that end horribly jfc

-”it’s spreading” “no one’s safe” covid but make it vanishing into thin air

-wow the texts that just stop.....why am i about to cry in the club rn

-sam tricking jack “ive only driven once” into driving is such a dad move omfg

-who is this blonde woman and why did her and jack look at each other like that? im assuming shes an important character but who??? they havent even said her name yet

-im glad that charlie’s outfits are as gay as ever but wow i feel so bad for her rn

-IS THAT BOBBY????? why does he look so different?????? i thought he was dead???? everyone in this show has died at least once lmao

-is jack like. okay? wtf happened with the plant? bad vibes

-im loving the reaper scythe, very sexy. is billie rowena or is she just saying “hello boys” bc thats what all the villains say now

-DARTH VADER CHOKE HOLD OK OK MA’AM OK

-”youre in the wrong place, dean” FUCK im a lil confused but FUCK

-HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE?????? avengers infinity war has nothing on this

-loving miss billie’s villain monologue tho it just keeps getting better

-dean really needs some therapy if he lives through the end of the show

-thats such a stupid deal cas, you die when you feel true happiness? what the fuck?

-cas bout to make me cry ok.....brb sobbing

-this is so dramatic oh my god gay rights but this is so dramatic sorry

-”why does this sound like a goodbye?” “because it is.” fuck OFF

-THE HANDPRINT STOP you have to be joking this cannot be real

-SO HE JUST DIES?????? everyone dies in this show but come ON

-holy shit the whole like. world?????? everyone?????????

-dean letting the phone ring out......kill me 

-fuck me cannot believe im back on my clown shit with this show........2010 me would be proud

[hobbitunderthemountain]

DCC DAY TWO UPDATES:

day started out incredibly shitty because 1.) it took a fuckin hour to get into the con despite the con being open for a half an hour already and no one knew which line was the right one or where the end of the line was IT WAS A FUCKIN MESS there were no volunteers in sight to ask about the right lines AND THEN 2.) my brother’s blaster was taken at the entrance by the security to get in (like toy cartoony guns have always been allowed so we were both shocked as fuck) and he was told that it was going to be thrown away and it’s a blaster he’s had since he was six years old 

WE DID GET IT BACK EVENTUALLY my parents were able to go to management and the people from the convention center told our parents that the security system absolutely should not be ‘throwing away’ people’s weapons and instead put them in a weapons check/hold (the poor people at the convention actually went and dug through the garbage and found two huge bags of toy guns and they were able to find his blaster thank god but our parents spent two hours running around talking to people and fuckin honestly??? god bless them. i don’t know what we would have done without them. like my brother was absolutely devastated and i was too. i am absolutely amazed my mom and dad were able to get it back. thank god they were able to take a few hours out of their relaxing day to run around on our behalf goddamn they are miracle workers?????? 

we saw kate mulgrew for my brother and even though i haven’t seen much of star trek voyager or oitnb but she was so fuckin great i love her she definitely reminded me a lot of carrie fisher with her unapologetic attitude gosh she was lovely (they started to ask if the audience had questions and i looked to my brother and he quietly says to me ‘uh, yes, is “i love you” a question?’ he’s so cute lmao janeway is his favorite star trek captain

UH WE MISSED A FEW PANELS WE WANTED TO SEE but in the end we had a good time walking around and eventually we found the bar in the merch hall and we both tried the ‘vader-ade’ cocktail which was sooooo good my brother was excited he was finally able to get me to drink (over-priced) alcohol with him at the con (and then happy hour was at the hotel with complimentary drinks happened and i had two more fruity pineapple drinks and holy shit i have not had that much to drink in a lonngggggg time lmaoo i was having a hard time holding on to my lightsaber and my brother kept scolding me in his best obi wan voice about not respecting my lightsaber fhghfjsdghfdsklfj) 

so ANYWAY a shittastic beginning to the day eventually turned into a reallyyyyy great day thank god :’))) 

[ratmonologue]

you knew it was coming aLL OF THEM

*darth vader voice* NOOOOOOOOO

1. Favorite action film? Does Raiders of the Lost Ark count as action? If so that2. What movie(s) could you watch over and over and not get tired of? JURASSIC PARK I’ve watched it about a trillion times by now and the soundtrack’s been stuck in my head for like a month straight and even now I’m kinda like “hey I should watch it YET AGAIN”3. Any old school favorites (pre-70s)? I don’t even remember how many pre-70s movies I’ve seen I’m so sorry Belle I know I’m a disappointment to you4. Top 5 directors? Idek if I can name five directors lmao5. Favorite dead actor/actress? Alan Rickman was pretty great

6. Favorite movie from the 90’s? JURASSIC PARK (apologies in advance for how many times I’m going to answer that)7. Ever been/are you such a hardcore fan of an actor actress you watched/will watch any movie they were/will be in? I tried with Harrison Ford a few years back. Watched a handful of movies but didn’t even come close to all of his. I watched a bunch of things solely because Richard Armitage was in them. And as soon I find Diego Luna’s spanish movies with subtitles I’m watching those8. What movie are you looking forward to coming out the most? THE LAST JEDI9. Pixar or Dreamworks? I like both but am not a diehard fan of either?10. Favorite animated movie? Disney’s Atlantis11. Favorite musical? …I’m gonna be controversial here and say the 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie because it was my introduction to the wonderful world of musicals in general so... Ooh or does Dr. Horrible count?12. Are you against book-to-movie adaptations? In theory I’m all for them. It’s just that in practice they’re rarely good.13. Your guilty pleasure movie(s)? The Outsiders. It’s not very good (like, at all) but everyone’s just so pretty (and now younger than me… yikes)14. Robin Williams or Eddie Murphy? Robin Williams15. Favorite chick flick? Legally Blonde and/or She’s The Man. I don’t really watch chick flicks so those are the only ones I can really think of16. Ever watched a movie just because you heard the effects were awesome? No17. Favorite indie film? I don’t even know honestly18. Favorite movie heroine? Princess Leia, Marion Ravenwood, probably others that I can’t think of rn19. Favorite movie action hero? Indiana Jones obviously20. Ever read a book so you could understand the movie? Not to understand the movie, no, but I’ve read books after seeing the movie because I enjoyed it and wanted to know more, because movies always leave things out.21. Favorite kids movie? Atlantis, Mulan, why is my brain malfunctioning there are many more…. OH and I loved the first two Ice Age movies22. Favorite Disney movie? see previous question23. Favorite movie soundtrack? JURASSIC PARK. Also the Lord of the Rings trilogy24. Movie that makes you cry every time? Serenity, Rogue One, and LotR: Return of the King25. VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray? We only have a DVD player out of those so26. Best experience going to the movies? I have two. One was when my friend Nicole and I went to the opening night of the first Hobbit movie, and while the movie itself was… kind of a disappointment, to put it mildly, we had a great time poking sleep-deprived fun at it and attempting to sing Thorin’s ridiculous bass notes (I was sick so I could actually kind of do it). The other was Rogue One; I was… not in the best emotional state going into that, or coming out of it for that matter (can I really call it a “best” experience if I sobbed my way through the last 40 minutes? discuss) but at the same time you know how when a movie or character comes along at the exact right moment in your life? Yeah. That.27. Top 5 actors? Currently Harrison Ford, Richard Armitage, Diego Luna, Nathan Fillion, Hugh Laurie28. Top 5 actresses? (It’s a testament to the fact that most movies are very gender-imbalanced that I’m having a much harder time thinking of actresses than actors) Daisy Ridley, Catherine Tate, Carrie Fisher, Lauren Lopez, Kate Winslet?29. Movie you completely regret seeing? Trainspotting was… strange. And very very TMI. There was also this German movie about a restaurant owner’s misadventures that was just no get this away from me this is cringey and gross and also just utter nonsense. I think I liveblogged it on the OT actually. I had to keep pausing and watching it in small chunks because I just couldn’t handle the terribleness all at once.30. Movie you wish was never made? That German movie. Most sequels and remakes (none of the German movie exist though, thank god).31. Movie your parent showed you? My mom showed us The Great Race, a 60s comedy about an automobile race (I’m imagining that in Tony Curtis’s voice, heh) around the world, and it’s wacko and completely amazing. On the other side of the coin, my dad let me watch Bladerunner when I was way too young for it…32. Last movie you watched? Probably Rogue One33. An overrated movie? Groundhog Day. It was so stupid34. An underrated movie? Atlantis. It’s one of the least-well-known Disney movies, which is crazy because it’s completely amazing35. Favorite comedy movie? SPACEBALLS36. Movie quote you live by? Now I’m just thinking of Spaceballs quotes. None of those are particularly good life advice…37. Movie quote that will always make you laugh? The “everything that happens now, is happening now” “go back to then!” “when? now?” “now!” “I can’t” “why” “we missed it” “when” “just now.” “……when will then be now?” “SOON.” exchange from Spaceballs is PURE GOLD38. Film(s) you’ve watched on a date? Jurassic World. The movie sucked, but the date was fun. There was also one about a recovering heroin addict and his pet cat, which I should have taken as a sign that the dude I was with was not a good match for me. There were also plenty of movie/tv-show ‘dates’ outside of movie theaters.39. Favorite cult film? I don’t think it’s well-known enough to count as a cult film as such but it was on Mystery Science Theater 3000, so…. Teenagers From Outer Space, made in the fifties on an approximately $20 budget with no actual teenage actors. It’s…. it’s an experience in so-bad-it’s-good-ness. Cannot recommend highly enough.40. Directors you’d like to see work together? I don’t pay attention to these things I’m sorry I don’t know41. Actors you’d like to see work together? Everyone from the BBC already has worked together42. Films you wanted to watch, but never got around to watching? Pretty much any so-called classic film you can think of43. Favorite teen movie? It was more elementary school than teen, but The Lizzie McGuire Movie was pretty iconic. (Also I’ve seen a grand total of, like, three “teen movies” so)44. Top 5 favorite films? Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, LotR: Return of the King, can I count the entire Star Wars series as one, and Spaceballs. Such a wide repertoire I know45. Favorite superhero film? Uh….. Thor? Maybe….? That’s solely because of Hemsworth’s and Hiddleston’s faces though. Maybe Guardians of the Galaxy?46. Favorite cop film? The Fugitive isn’t a cop movie but Tommy Lee Jones was a great cop in it so that? (I can’t even think of any cop movies I’m sorry)47. Favorite road trip film? The Great Race, simply because it’s also the only one I can think of48. A disappointing film from your favorite actor? Diego Luna was not exactly a main character in Elysium but I still watched it solely because of him and then his extremely underdeveloped character was killed off halfway through to motivate Matt Damon and basically that movie was a dumpster fire. But, like, a really boring dumpster fire. I think I’d rather watch a literal dumpster fire, actually….49. A disappointing film from your favorite director? I wouldn’t say Peter Jackson is my favorite director my any means, but LotR was amazing and then The Hobbit movies happened and just… why…… why would you do this…..50. The first movie you ever remember watching in theaters? I don’t remember. Maybe one of the Ice Age movies?51. A movie that was better than the book? I wouldn’t say Jurassic Park was better than the book because it left out so much cool stuff, but I did actually like many of the changes they made. And I also saw it before reading the book so that probably helped my opinion of it quite a bit.52. Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis? Vin Diesel was the Iron Giant and Groot so him53. A movie that not many have heard of that you’ve seen? Nobody I know has heard of Teenagers From Outer Space. (How did I hear of it, you might ask? It was on tv at three in the morning and I was really really bored that night)54. A movie that changed the way you view the world? The LotR trilogy certainly changed the way I view New Zealand. I wanna go there.55. Favorite sci-fi movie? I know Star Wars is more space opera than actual sci-fi but I’m answering that anyway.56. Movie you completely nerd-out over every time it’s mentioned? Really any of my faves57. Movie that you’ve seen all the behind-the-scenes action for? Not all because there’s so damn much of it, but I’ve definitely watched a majority of the LotR behind the scenes stuff.58. Movie where your favorite actor was the only good part? Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights was absolutely AWFUL and I enjoyed it immensely, because tiny Diego Luna dancing and being otherwise adorable. That being said he was the only one that knew remotely what acting even was and the parts when he wasn’t onscreen were just… really bad. The script was also awful, but at least it was unpredictable (because it made no sense). At least it was the entertaining kind of dumpster fire.59. Movie from an actor you hate that was better than you expected? First I need to think of an actor I hate….60. Most visually stunning movie you’ve seen? LotR was just beginning-to-end scenery porn.61. A movie your parents introduced you to? Didn’t I already answer this62. Favorite genre? “Soft” sci-fi and/or space opera is usually a good bet. Alternately, anything at all involving archaeology. And if you combine them I’ll love you forever.63. Least favorite genre? Romance. I’d like an actual plot, please64. Comedy movie that you didn’t find funny? Most of the ones I’ve seen tbh65. Horror movie that didn’t scare you? Also most of them, but I rarely watch horror66. Favorite remake of an old movie? I can’t actually think of any where I’ve seen both the original and the remake67. A movie that started a passion for you? Jurassic Park. My dinosaur phase lasted into high school….68. A movie that sparked an interesting conversation? Also most of my faves. Though whether those conversations were interesting for the other person too remains up for debate.69. The main movie you remember from your childhood? Star Wars: A New Hope70. The first movie you saw on it’s opening night? The first Hobbit movie71. A move that made you ache for love. ? Is this asking for a movie that hurt because I loved it so much, or a movie that made me want to find love in my real life, or…? (I guess Rogue One for both? It was painful af and I really want a Cassian, so)

[fictions-war-among-stars]

I finally finished the OG Star Wars trilogy for the first time!!!

Since the beginning of the year I'd kinda made it my goal to watch all of the Star Wars content in chronological order, because I haven't actually watched it before now! (Also my classes kept including it in the lessons, so it's for research too lol-)

Today though marks a very important date to me, because I just finished the OG trilogy for the very first time!

A very vague non-spoiler reaction, is that I enjoyed it! The first movie was kinda hard to get through, the second a bit better, but I realize that's because the formatting of the story is a bit different than what I'm used to?

To me, it seems like you have to watch all three movies for it to make sense. The first movie set the stage, the second had character development and raised the stakes, and the third closed everything off.

It's kinda hard to explain? Most movies don't do that - they each have the beginning middle and conclusion that very much seperate each film from one another, and connect to one another in a different way?

The closest thing I can think of would be Avengers Infinity War to End Game - you can't watch one without the other. They are meant to be the same story.

My more specific thoughts

I really should have taken notes, but here are my most memorable thoughts on it over all!

This is your last warning - there are spoilers up ahead!

Shakespeare who?

It's super funny to me how much the lines the actors would say would remind me of something out of an old English play

I think what was the most jarring in this sense was how Luke acted during the last of the OG movie. He was no longer a 'farm boy' but now a proper Jedi, and acted very stiff as a result. Yet he was still super dramatic???

Omg wait - have you seen the Romeo and Juliet version with Leonardo DiCaprio???

That has the same energy to me lmao-

One of the biggest things that irritated me whilst watching the prequels was how much the clothing reminded me of 1500 Europe. The clothing itself was really pretty, but the way they used it to sexualize Padme was something I had a LOT of salt with.

While there was a lot of different outfits for Leia, I was surprised that she wasn't as sexualized in her outfits? (With exception of when she was with Jabba - but is that really surprising???)

She was objectified more than I thought necessary, but the scenes with Padme and Anakin in the prequels seem way worst to me...

Whomst do I simp for???

A huge part of why I stick to content is because I simp for a character. The more attached I get to them, the more I want to watch things they're in, and the more I'll buy their merch

I mean, everyone does this lol

I'm actually super surprised though, because I don't simp for anyone in the OG trilogy?

When I was on the outskirts of the fandom, I tried to get into it by reading stuff with the characters and was surprised when I couldn't really find anything good with Luke?

Based on characters I like, Luke seemed like he would be one of them

But I don't find myself attracted to him at all during the films???

Ahsoka Tano is so far still the best and only character I simp lol

Luke / Leia - it's not what you think!

I was really surprised with this one! I thought Luke and Leia actually had a relationship prior to finding out they were related, and there was going to be a whole Oedipus Rex thing going on, but it was just heavy flirting?

It was still REALLY awkward by the last movie though - because they admitted to always kinda knowing in a really dramatic way, but there was quite a bit of sexual tension between them in the two movies before???

It just made me uncomfy :/

Leia / Han?

...please don't kill me, but I don't really ship it?

The iconic I Love you / I know was literally the only time I thought they were cute together?

Oh, along with when Leia took Han out of Carbonite. That was cute

Like He was waking up thinking he would never see her again, and she had spent months trying to track him down to save him-

That was really precious

Their dynamic though, is why I don't ship them

It reminds me of prequel Anakin/Padme, and seems kinda toxic?

Like at points she was clearly telling him no, and he kept teasing and coming onto her

Also they were bickering in a way that isn't good, and just not properly talking things through?

Consent and proper communication is sexy, and that was missing at times

...it still isn't as bad as the prequels though, and there is hope for their relationship to grow and get better

(Insert character here) I am (insert reveal)

There were so many dramatic reveals lol

It's not really a surprise to us now, but Vader and Luke are related, Leia and Luke are related, Vader was Anakin, Vader is Leia's dad-

On that note though!!!!

Vader kinda traumatized Leia in the first movie????

Also how did he know that Luke was his son, but not Leia???

That still makes no sense to me-

I'm probably missing something???

Like the only reason he was going after Luke was to convert him because he was his son-

But if push comes to shove Leia seems more likely to be a Sith than Luke??? She was way more impulsive and emotional at times than Luke???

I feel like trying to convert her would have been easier???

Idk, that was a missed opportunity there :/

OH ALSO!!!

The last movie in the OG just makes Padme's death seem even worst!!!

Like Leia goes on about having vague memories of her mother, but Padme dies in the prequels giving birth to her???

So Leia is either more force sensitive than Luke (my head cannon honestly) or Padme should have raised the twins in secret for a while before dying on like a rebel mission and prior to Vader working beside the Emperor. Then Obi Wan swooped in and relocated the twins

Honestly, both those should be canon to me

Leia being trained with the force is something I really regret not seeing :(

At least there's fanfic

Vader

Vader confused me at first?

He seemed really obedient to the general (i don't remember his name - I think he's the one in Bad Batch and Clone wars???) in the first movie, and followed his orders????

Wait wasn't his name general Tarkin???

It was weird to me because I had just come from SW: Rebels and Rogue One, and Vader seemed like this illusive right hand man to the Emperor

But then he goes and obeys this guy way lower in power to him?

In the second and third movie he gets more power though, so maybe he was supposed to be the empire's dog originally???

Actually, it was weird seeing Vader be as obedient as he was

Anakin was super rebellious, so seeing him as Vader was weird

He was also a lot calmer than I thought he would be. Sith rely on anger and emotions to fuel them don't they???

...I didn't like the interaction between him and Obi Wan very much also

Jedi training line

So Obi Wan was originally trained directly under Yoda himself???

And Qui Gon and Dooku never existed-

So the entirety of the conflict in the prequels would have been super different to what it is lol

The edits

Since I didn't watch the OG versions, I'm not really aware of all the edits that were made to the movie

There is one though, that is really what spurred me to write this

They really just replaced the head of ghost OG Anakin with prequel Anakin LMAO-

Like-

I'm actually pretty neutral to them doing it since I'm not attached to the OG version but like-

This is just so fucking funny to me-

It's kinda sad though, cause the OG Anakin actor was dead for like 10 years, and then he was replaced with his angsty double

....still funny lmao

I think they also added in a bunch of Jarjars onto the roof of a building in Naboo XD

End thoughts

Overall, I enjoyed the content much more than I thought I would, and would watch it again!

I wish Ahsoka had helped train Luke and Leia ;p She would have been a great teacher, and I think she would have helped Luke and Leia in a way that would have been better for them?

...I really just wasn't a huge fan of Obi Wan. He reminds me of that one meme about movie Dumbledore vs book Dumbledore in Goblet of fire :/

I'm really struggling to find the words for it...

ANYWAY-

I'm super excited to watch the Mandalorian and see Ahsoka again though!!!

[kadywicker]

answer all of them

jfC afjasdfFASDF

under a read more bc its a Lot

The meaning behind my url: darth vader lmao

A picture of me: here’s my face tag

How many tattoos i have and what they are: i have 2. i have one on my left shoulder and it’s a four eyed sphynx cat, and another one on my right forearm thats the solar system

Last time i cried and why: to be honest w u i dont even remember but it was probably during some show

Piercings i have: none

Favorite band: arctic monkeys

Biggest turn offs: d*ddy kink is a huge fucking no. no no no.

Top 5 (insert subject): didnt specify fasdf

Tattoos i want: so many fasdfasdf. i want a rlly colorful octopus like this one. i want one that says ivory and rose. i want one of a tree on my back. i want this one of the falcon.

Biggest turn ons: uuuh rather not say bc its personal fasdfsf 

Age: 18

Ideas of a perfect date: any date i’ve been on w @benkcnobi

Life goal: u kno thats a good question and i need one. just be happy ig

Piercings i want: none

Relationship status: engaged to @benkcnobi

Favorite movie: sw movies, princess bride, neverending story, dirty dancing, ferris bueller, but im a cheerleader, rocky horror

A fact about my life: uuuuuuh i once had a cat named spider man

Phobia: SPIDERS

Middle name: james

Height: 5′2

Are you a virgin? nooo

What’s your shoe size? 9 and a half

What’s your sexual orientation? les. lesbiab. lesbean. lesbb.b  girls.

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? i drink sometimes but not the other two

Someone you miss: @benkcnobi :(

What’s one thing you regret? a lot of shit but tbh my biggest regret on this planet is when i went through a bacon phase and now i cant touch bacon (in reality i have worse regrets but im not oversharing today)

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: lupita nyong’o also gina rodriguez 

Favorite ice cream? im not a big fan of ice cream fasdfa

One insecurity: my weight rip me

What my last text message says: its a hc thread abt han/luke w avery fasdfasdf

Have you ever taken a picture naked? yes fasdf

Have you ever painted your room? yep!

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? yes :)

Have you ever slept naked? all the goddamn time bc my asd self hates the sensory shit of sleeping w clothes

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? yes

Have you ever had a crush? of course

Have you ever been dumped? eyep

Have you ever stole money from a friend? nope

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? not that i can recall??? i mean unless u count my fiances dad and them picking me up at the airport and i hadnt met their dad yet before so i guess

Have you ever been in a fist fight? not really

Have you ever snuck out of your house? no

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? oh for sure

Have you ever been arrested? no

Have you ever made out with a stranger? nooope

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? uuuuh this is so vague famsdfadsf no i guess? ive been dropped off at a dudes house before but we didnt rlly meet up anywhere

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? yeah

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? at some point

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? no

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? no but ive fallen asleep on avery in the car does that count

Have you ever seen someone die? no thank fuck

Have you ever been on a plane? yes

Have you ever kissed a picture? yeah when i was a kid i think

Have you ever slept in until 3? oh yes

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now? yes ive loved someone and yes i miss my fiance fasdf

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yep!

Have you ever made a snow angel? yes

Have you ever played dress up? yes

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? yes

Have you ever been lonely? of course

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? oh yeah

Have you ever been to a club? no

Have you ever felt an earthquake? no

Have you ever touched a snake? yes

Have you ever ran a red light? i dont drive

Have you ever been suspended from school? no

Have you ever had detention? no

Have you ever been in a car accident? no

Have you ever hated the way you look? every goddamn day of my life

Have you ever witnessed a crime? yeah

Have you ever pole danced? no

Have you ever been lost? yep

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? yeah

Have you ever felt like dying? oh for sure

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? yep

Have you ever sang karaoke? yes

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? of course

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yep

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? uuuuuuuuh noooot consensually ???? so ? no???? ig??

Have you ever kissed in the rain? nope

Have you ever sang in the shower? yes

Have you ever made out in a park? no

Have you ever dreamed that you married someone? yes

Have you ever glued your hand to something? i’m sure

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked? NO???

Have you ever been a cheerleader? no

Have you ever sat on a roof top? yes

Have you ever brushed your teeth? im really honest to god hoping that no ones ever answered no to this

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? i hate watching them alone

Have you ever played chicken? no

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? yeah

Have you ever broken a bone? yes in fact my toe is currently broken

Have you ever been easily amused? yeah

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yes

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? no

Have you ever cheated on a test? yes

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? of course

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? yeah

give us one thing about you that no one knows. honestly i dont know fasdfasdf

[sapphireskys]

-OK but AU where Ben’s abilities in the Force are dormant since birth and have yet to awaken.

-Snoke obviously still targets him, trying, although less successfully due to Ben’s raw powah not having awakened yet, tries to lure him and groom him, but young Ben can’t quite understand all of that yet, so he just sorta has a rough childhood because he just doesn’t know how to tell anyone what this is, much less block it out, so it just kinda hangs over him like a stormcloud.

-And then, one day when young Ben is around 10 years old, the voices stop.

-And suddenly, he’s free. Suddenly, the small feeling of doubt when he’s happy, all the hard to understand feelings, suddenly they’re gone. Suddenly he smiles like a child his age should, happy and carefree. And when Leia sees him, she’s happy.

-She ignores the small voice at the back of her mind.

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-That was the day Rey was born.

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-Ben’s relationship with his father is now pretty good, since Ben knows what it’s like to be surrounded by all these special people, and Han feels like he can understand him.

-So Han teaches Ben to pilot, they go on trips together, and eventually Ben becomes a smuggler and occasional treasure hunter (he has that drive for even greater adventure, one that he gets from his grandfather).

-Leia tries to get him into politics, but honestly Ben is more hot-headed than both his parents combined, so it… doesn’t quite work out lol.

-Eventually Ben starts to work for the Resistance, smuggling, hunting for certain artifacts they need, and being their pilot for the more shady and dangerous missions.

-He and Poe are sorta rivals, but they’re also pretty good friends who annoy the shit out of each other lmao. BB8 always sides with Ben in arguments lol.

-He always had a weird relationship with his uncle, because Luke was really nice and all, but also expected way too much from him

-But then one day, Luke goes into exile, and no one knows why.

-So now Ben’s main mission is to look for Luke.

-And so, he finds himself on Jakku, looking for a missing droid he’d heard about, one who held the map to Luke Skywalker himself.

-There, he finds BB8, and runs into Finn. And so history begins

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-Finn and Ben become bros, but honestly they’re way too different and Finn can’t even stand the guy lol.

-When they find the Falcon, Finn doesn’t have time to question why Ben knows everything about it.

-Also the meeting with Han goes like “Oh hey dad” “How the hell did you even get here?” “Idk lol” all the while Finn is shocked because this dude is Han Solo’s kid? The Han Solo’s???

-And Chewie and Finn bond over their annoyance for Han and Ben respectively lol

.

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-Meanwhile, Rey, too, was born with the raw powah, only it was active, and she could sense other people’s thoughts and feelings clearly.

-But… All she ever sensed on Jakku was despair and hopelessness.

-And it didn’t help that Snoke was always there, telling her that her parents would never return, that she’d die there unless she went to him, that she was special.

-And one night, after being denied any food for the parts she collected, it all becomes too much for her.

-She bursts. Suddenly, there is fire all around and her home, the one she had scavenged for herself, is no more.

.

-That day, Snoke takes her.

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-She becomes.. uh… Rey of Ren?? Idk, she sorta replaces “of Jakku” with “of Ren”, because she is no longer the Rey from Jakku. No longer does she bind herself to Jakku. Now, she belongs with the Knights of Ren. With Snoke.

-She keeps her hair in its buns, because now she despises her parents for leaving her, and wants them to know it’s her when she ultimately kills them. (not true, part of her, one she desperately tries to destroy, wants to find them, wants to find belonging).

-One time, she returns to Jakku, on a mission from Snoke. This time, she willingly leaves it burning behind her, dragging along the man who has the map to the last jedi.

.

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-Anyway things progress roughly like they do in TFA.

-Ben finds Anakin’s saber OR Vader’s lightsaber, has a series of visions that are pretty important and all, (later on Ben will purify it if Vader's (like Ahsoka did iirc))

-The abduction scene is sorta hilarious bcuz Ben is tall as hell and Rey is tiny and it’s honestly not that intimidating lol

-Queue Rey trying to bridal carry him but failing miserably cause he’s a goddamn giant.

-She ends up dragging him by his foot lmao.

-Honestly it’s hilarious, the stormtroopers will talk about this for centuries (in private of course)

-Finn goes “BEEEEEN” before stopping and going “Actually you know what screw him lol” and Han goes Excuse me that’s my son you’re talking about but tbh yeah same lol

-They’re joking of course, but it’s still hilarious lmao

-Interrogation scene is funny too because Ben refers to Rey as a “tiny creature” and Rey goes EXCUSE YOU but tbh she can’t complain he’s strapped to the interrogation chair thingy yet is still taller than her lol

-Anyway not sure how to go about the rest but I can assure you that Ben Solo is sorta a flirt and definitely jokes around when Rey says YOU NEED A TEACHERRRR and Rey goes “actually no you know what nvm”.

-Also when Rey pushes him away at the start of the fight he basically cuts his face open on some branches or something idk (I want the scar ok? For the Aesthetic™)

-And then the movie ends with Ben finding Luke and being totally casual about it like Ay yoo unca lukey lmao