#and my uni applications are all due in by the end of November and I have to talk to my tutor about my personal statement but she’s only in

[helaelaemond]

TIPS FOR WRITING IN AN ENGLISH UNIVERSITY SETTING from someone who’s been through it!

This post is written with fanfic in mind, specifically about Michael Gavey as a Maths student at the University of Oxford.

University structure

At Oxford, you are there typically for three years. You’re not usually referred to as “first year”, “second year” or “third year/final year” as nouns, and are more likely to describe yourself as being “in my first year” etc. The only exception is your first few weeks at uni when you’re known as a fresher. Your first week in your first year is known as “freshers week”, and its lots of social activities around the uni and beyond.

OXFORD IS NOT A CAMPUS UNI. University housing and buildings are scattered around the city of Oxford, and so using terms like “on campus” are not applicable.

Term starts in early October, and most exams are wrapped up by June.

Housing

Oxford is one of four English universities that use the college system (the others being Cambridge - also called ‘The Other Place’ - Durham, and York) and for the sake of simplicity, you can think of this as a replacement term for ‘dorm’ (a term not typically used). You can find a list of all the colleges on the university’s website.

Within the college building, there are usually single rooms with en-suites, but some rooms have to share a communal bathroom.

University students do NOT have roommates - no one shares a bedroom. There are also some room types in a flat-like set up, with a cluster of a few rooms (2-8 typically) and a shared kitchen. This is less common at Oxford.

Students sometimes stay in university-provided accommodation for the duration of their studies, whilst some choose to live in private accommodation from their second year onwards. If they do this, they are still associated with their college, and by default their college does not change. Private accommodation usually means a regular house shared with a few other people - this is standard across all universities in the UK, not just Oxford.

Classes

Generally speaking, subjects that don’t require lab work have a pretty simple weekly structure of one lecture and one seminar per module. Lectures are observed silently, and seminars are for discussions. Even the boldest or more socially unaware individuals do not interrupt lectures (in my four years, I never ever experienced anyone interrupting or asking a question, and so if you’re going to write Michael doing that, be aware it is a huge taboo unless the lecturer has asked for participation). Students usually take 2-3 different modules per semester, and during the academic year, there are two semesters across three terms.

Reading week is a week of usually in late October/early November where there are no classes for a week and it is a time for self-study.

Most modules have at least one assignment (what Americans would call a term paper) due before the Christmas break in December, and then at least one exam after the break ends in January. Some modules on some courses have other assignments or contributors to grades (like group presentations) but this isn’t all that common. It is very rare for things like “extra credit” to be earned, if at all.

Unless reading a combined degree (like Politics and Economics), you only take one subject. There is nothing like a “major” and “minor”. When doing a combined degree, you take half your modules on one degree, and half your modules on the other, so it’s an even 50/50. You cannot choose any subject to do a combined degree for, and they are pre-set courses determined by the university. For example, you couldn’t do a combined degree of Maths and Geography just because you wanted to.

You don’t talk about what course you’re studying, you say what course you’re reading (which is why Michael says he’s “reading Maths” not studying it).

University culture

Nightclubbing isn’t much of a thing in Oxford. If you want a uni with great nightlife you go to Birmingham, Nottingham, Sheffield, Newcastle, London - not Oxford or Cambridge. Instead, students are much more likely to spend time in one of the dozens of pubs in Oxford. College parties (I.e university accommodation parties) don’t tend to be much of a thing either unless they’re organised by the social events committees in those colleges.

Elitism is an enormous problem at Oxford. For example, in 2015, 45% of all freshers were from private schools, while only less than 7% of children in the UK are privately educated. Classism is an issue that is so unbelievably rampant in places like Oxford that I can’t even begin to explain. But like many forms of prejudice in the UK, it’s rarely overt. It comes in the forms of exclusion from social activities (think a working class student not being able to go on a ski trip with course mates), social rules only familiar to the rich being the order of the day (having the right type of suit for a formal dinner).

Oxford is a place where lifelong connections are made that spill into entertainment, business, and (most worryingly) politics, but best believe that if you’re not from the right background, those connections are not yours to make. In fact, the likelihood of you even know they’re going on in the shadows is high.

Obviously, classism and elitism are themes of Saltburn, but please don’t take them too seriously, as it’s crucial to remember that the writer/director grew up in these very private inner circles of elites. As such, her spin is wildly… wild. She’s an incredibly unreliable source for basing any kind of opinion about these issues on.

That’s all I can think of right now! I highly encourage other people who have been through English universities to add on with advice you think you would helpful to writers 😁🫶

And if you’ve got any specific questions, let me know and I’ll help if I can!

[eoinmcgonigal]

if you want some idea of the irl shit rn

my appeal to the funding decision was rejected (the scottish student funding shitfuckers fucked up my disabled student allowance, which forced me to drop down to part time, and now they've withdrawn all the course funding because they won't fund anything part time in england, at all, ever, no matter if it's on them that i'm in this situation or the course isn't avaialbe in scotland - and to say nothing of the fact that a lot of disabled people cannot attend scottish universities due to accessibility issues)

i've been left to somehow pay a ~£4,500 fee. I will not be able to finish my masters because there's no way I'll be able to find £4,500 for next year as well

if i drop out now then i'll also be liable for the DSA stuff which they finally have started sorting out (i applied in august, support should have been in place in september/october)

july/august: applied for funding for full time august: finally got DSA application sorted (had to rely on uni, who kinda messed up a bit but did send it/sort it) end of november, still no DSA support in place because SAAS fucked up: had to drop down to part time just to stay on the course december: SAAS told me they were withdrawing the loan (but said nothing about the tuition fee) end of december: DSA 'approved' but nothing happened (turns out they fucked up again and had some sort of block on my account, so I couldn't receive anything) january: overdue payment with uni so talking to them, the guy looks at his spreadsheet and tells me the tuition cost has been revoked by SAAS so it's actually a miracle i found out at all, i put in an appeal to SAAS late january: finally got the money for the DSA items, but i won't get the stuff for who knows how long late january: the reply to my appeal is basically 'we fucked up but we're hiding that in huge paragraphs of narative shit, and also fuck you we don't fund these things for any reason ever'

I started a full time masters with no fucking stupport in place. The whole time I've been spending every last shred of energy I have trying to chase all that shit up and stay afloat. It has not worked.

I got a fuckin fist class honours degree for my undergrad. I CAN DO THIS. This is the ONLY thing I can do ffs. I'm physically trapped in a shitty house with shitty people who neglect me and abuse me and I have nothing else I can do, or to work towards, or look forward to, or fucking live for tbh. My mind doesn't function 'normally'. I can't even look after myself, but I can do academic stuff and I can write.

But no. Scotland does not believe in supporting and funding students to do well academically.

I've escalated the appeal. I know it will be rejected again, and then I face the ordeal of taking it to the ombundsman. In the meantime, what I owe the university grows, and my will to live just... disappears.

I've rarely been so unhappy, I just want to do well at studying but instead I'm having to fight for every fuckign breath with these cunts. It's inhumane, actually. It's evil. I should not be penalised for their fucking mess. No disabled or disadvantaged person should ever have to endure this, or be excluded from further education because of circumstances outwith their control (i.e. if someone can only manage part time because of a disability, they should have the right to education just the same as a fully abled person, and you bet your ass a lot of people who are also disadvantaged will be minorities who can only afford part time)

The SAAS discriminate. There are no two ways about it.

[faeriemarie]

why are you on shifting break? /gen

uni applications are due on november 1st and i really need to focus

shifting normally takes up all of my time and i end up scripting instead of doing schoolwork or even sleeping. like my cr becomes completely irrelevant every time i get really into shifting. i’m afraid i could massively screw up my cr life if i don’t start taking it semi-seriously. it might not be my permanent reality but it’s my reality for now and the least i can do is make the best of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gleeincorrectquotes]

.

[berrynarrybanana]

Deck the Halls - pt. 1

A/N: Ummmm.....so this is kind of like a Christmas fic, but it turned out very different than I expected it to. It’s more of a...wintery suspense type thing with an actual lengthy as fuck plot, but the romance is strong from the beginning. I tried to keep it in one post, but the word count is simply too much for me to put in one post. I plan on updating everything that I have so that you all can indulge in the story while I finish it up. I know that this might not be everyone’s cup of hot chocolate, but I hope that some of you enjoy it! I haven’t really done anything of this nature before, so I’m kind of nervous about the whole thing. I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday, and I can’t wait for us to ring in the new year together! I love you all loads! 

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: Mentions of death, violence, smut, fluff....other things i can’t remember at this moment? 

November 1

Harry is walking through the snow. 

The soft sound of snow crunching under his boots and the wind whipping around him is all that he can hear at first. He feels cold, but he’s been colder than this. His hand feels warm, though his hands are bare. He glances down, his eyes locking on an emerald green mitten. He feels the fingers in the mitten flex, gripping his hand tightly. He trails his eyes up the arm covered in a light green coat, freezing when he sees the curly tendrils of snow white hair draped over her shoulder. He knows instantly who it is, and he knows exactly how this dream will end. 

When his eyes finally land on rich, berry red lips, he feels his breath catch in his throat. He’s never seen her face before this. She’s usually drowning by the time he gets to the lake, already under the block of ice as the man with blue hair holds her under. He can’t help but stare, taking in the beautiful and ethereal features of her face. It’s almost as if she isn’t real at all, from the color of her skin to the pointed tips of her ears. The hair was strange, but he’d gotten used to the beyond platinum shade over the years. It wasn’t so shocking to him anymore. 

Harry turns his attention from the girl when he hears a twig snap, his gaze dropping to the snow covered floor of the forest they've been walking through. He wasn’t sure why they were walking in the woods, or where they were going, but he was happy to be spending time by her side. He was happy that he wasn’t watching her die for once, her beautiful face still full of life as her lips moved. She was talking, but he couldn’t hear a word that she said. All he could hear was the wind and the snow, a whistle and a crunch echoing in his ears as if he had winter sounds playing from a quality stereo. 

He hated that he couldn’t hear her.

He hated that he didn’t know where they were going. 

But suddenly, it all becomes clear. 

The lake. 

“Don’t.” Harry croaks out through chapped lips, squeezing her fingers in an attempt to get her attention. Her lips stop moving as he pulls her closer, but she offers him a sad smile. “We shouldn’t-”

“It’s alright.” He can finally hear her voice, the sound something akin to Christmas bells being softly run in the middle of the night. “We have to go.”

“You can hear me.” He breathes out, his eyes stinging due to the wind, and the inevitable tragedy that’s about to occur. “You can hear me and I can hear you.”

“I guess so.” She glances up, an amused smile curling the corners of her lips as she hums out. 

When she looks back down at Harry, he loses his breath. 

“What’s your name?” She asks, turning her back towards the lake, giving him her full attention.

“Harry.” He whispers the word, almost as if he’s afraid for anyone else to hear it. “I...who are you?” 

“I can’t tell you.” He watches her face fall, her expression going dismal. “But I want to.”

“You can tell me anything.” He moves closer, squeezing her fingers. “Talk to me, love.” 

“I can’t say it.” Her brows furrow in frustration. “It won’t come out, no matter how hard I try to say it.”

“Why is this happening to us?” He presses, moving his feet closer. “Why do you drown every single time? Why can’t I save you?”

“I don’t know.” She glances down, her cheeks losing their glow. “I wish that you could save me, Harry.”

“I’ll try harder this time.” He gulps, his throat tightening as tears threaten his eyes. “I’ll try harder to save you, I promise.”

“But you won’t save me.” She looks up, her own eyes glossed over with unshed tears. “It’s okay, Harry. It was meant to be this way.”

“No, I don’t believe it.” He shakes his head. “I can save you.”

She shakes her head, slowly backing away from him. 

“We have to go now.” She says softly, her feet carrying her towards the iced over lake. 

Harry notices a pair of skates dangling over her shoulders. 

“No, don’t go.” He reaches out for her, but she continues to move away. “Don’t leave me.”

“I have to.” She steps onto the ice, the soft cracking noises causing Harry’s eyes to grow wide with panic. “Save me, Harry.” 

And just like that, it’s all over.

November 2 Harry’s POV - Age 21 

Harry pushes the door to Paradise Records open, watching a few flakes of paint fall to the concrete stoop outside of his shop. He made a mental note to buy some paint to touch up the door before the holiday season started. 

He could feel the frustration creeping up his spine at the mere thought of Christmas, and it was times like these that he wished the world had sympathy for those who hated the holiday.  He hated to give into the global phenomenon, but it did bring in enough business and revenue to keep the shop afloat until the annual summer sale rolled around in June. 

He sipped at his bitter, black coffee, walking into the record store with a relieved sigh. This was truly his paradise where he escaped from the demons that haunted his mind. For a split second, he was finally at peace after the grueling nightmare he endured. That peace was quickly disturbed by the jingling of bells from the front door, causing Harry to frown as he turned on his heels. 

“Another beautiful day in paradise, eh boss!” Niall clapped his hand down on Harry’s shoulder on his way towards the checkout counter, causing Harry to bite back a whine of discomfort. “How are you today?”

There were knots in Harry’s shoulders causing him pain, and most of them were caused by the cheery Irish lad pushing behind the checkout counter.

“Good morning, Niall.” Harry turned towards the boy with a sarcastic smile. “Why are you always so bloody loud.”

 “You knew I was loud when ya’ hired me, I put it under my strengths on my job application.” Niall called out as he walked through the beaded curtain to the back office, whistling a tune that made Harry’s ears ache. 

“I didn’t know that you were a fucking foghorn, mate.” Harry hiked his leather bag higher up on his shoulder, fighting off a yawn as he followed slowly in Niall’s footsteps. 

“Did you have a long night?” Niall popped out from the beaded curtain, causing Harry to jump as he made it behind the counter. “You look exhausted.”

“Yeah, long night.” Harry grumbled, shutting the employee gate at the end of the counter. “You watch the front for a few hours, I’ve got some paperwork to catch up on.”

“Sure.” Niall nodded as Harry pushed through the curtain. “If you need anymore coffee, just let Mitch know. He’s stopping at Java Java before he comes in.”

Harry pulled out his phone, typing a quick text telling Mitch not to get Niall coffee. 

He didn’t need any more energy. 

He needed a proper nights rest.

Harry sat down at his desk, putting his coffee by his keyboard with a heavy sigh. 

There wasn’t enough espresso in the world to fix the aching in his head caused by the nightmare he had last night. In the sixteen years that he’d been having the recurring nightmare, he was never able to talk to her in the dream. He was still haunted by the beautiful sound of her voice when she spoke to him, but he was mostly haunted by the sound of her desperate pleas for help. But his feet were frozen solid to the ground as the man with ice blue hair held her under the water. He emerged from the cracks in the ice this time, pulling the girl under with him as she screamed for her life. Harry remembers screaming for her until his throat was sore, but when he woke up this morning, he felt fine. 

Harry brushed his palms over his face, inhaling sharply as he tried to push the image of her face from his mind. He didn’t need to spend the rest of his day thinking about her. He needed to get to work. There was a lot that he needed to do in preparation for Christmas. Every single year, parents and Uni students would come into Paradise Records and buy out his record players, and usually all of his Christmas albums. He’d already pre-ordered Christmas albums, but he needed to get in contact with the shipping company and the manufacturer to make sure they all arrived on time for the Christmas sale. 

“Hey boss,” Niall’s sudden shout made Harry flinch, muttering a curse under his breath at the Irish lad. “Gemma is here.”

“Tell her to come back.” Harry called back, reaching into his bag in search of his glasses with his left hand while he booted up his computer with his right hand. 

He hated wearing glasses, but Gemma bought them for him last Christmas when he opened the shop, insisting that they would improve the quality of his eyesight by blocking out the blue light in most devices. He did notice a slight difference in the quality of his vision after using them. 

“Look at you, a dapper young man in his glasses.” Gemma pushed Noah’s pram into Harry’s office, the toddler screeching out the second his eyes landed on his uncle. “Alright, young man, Mum isn’t superwoman. I can’t move that fast.”

“You have five seconds to hand me my nephew before I start screaming with him.” Harry teased, looking at Noah with a wide smile. “I’ve missed you, mate.”

“It’s been three days, not three months.” Gemma huffed out, unbuckling the straps on the pram until Noah was free of restraint. “Alright, you can stop your crying now dove, uncle knobhead is right here.” 

Harry scowled at his sister, leaning up to grab his nephew by the waist with ease.

“Harry.” Noah screeched, patting his palms against Harry’s cheeks. “Hi.”

“Hi, bubba.” Harry kissed over Noah’s face, causing him to giggle out as Gemma found a seat on the opposite side of Harry’s desk. “You know he’s not going to leave here without throwing a fit, right?”

“I know.” Gemma let out a breathy laugh laced with frustration. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“You’re welcome.” Harry settled Noah in his lap, resting his hand on Noah’s lap so that he could entertain himself by playing with the rings on his uncle’s fingers. “What brings you by?”

“I just wanted to talk to you about Christmas.” Gemma said softly, watching Harry’s face change from curious to furious in two seconds flat. “I know, you still don’t feel ready to celebrate after Mum and Dad, but I think we should start easing back into it. Noah is getting older, and we’ve got friends who-”

“I’ll do it for Noah, but I don’t want to celebrate with other people.” Harry interrupted. “I still don’t get how can you be okay with it, Gemma? They died because of some stupid Christmas tradition.”

“So are we supposed to hate pancakes now?” She tossed her hands up with an eye roll. “You drive a bloody car, don’t you? The pancakes didn’t kill them, Harry. Some reckless driver knocked into their car.”

“It’s not-”

“You’re being childish, Harry.” Gemma snapped at her younger brother, shaking her head. “Christmas isn’t the thing that killed Mum and Dad. I know that it sucks, having the anniversary of their death on your favorite holiday, but you have to deal with this. You can’t keep pushing it off like this.”

“I can, and I will.” He said, clearing his throat as his sister shook her head. “I don’t want to be happy without them on such a terrible day, Gemma.”

“I really think you should talk to someone about this.” She sighed, brushing her palms over her thighs. “I think it would do you some good to work out the issues you have surrounding this whole thing. I’ve been talking to someone since it happened, and it’s really helped me cope.”

“I don’t need help.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, Gemma.”

“It’s not fine, and the fact that you don’t seem to realize that worries me the most.” She whispered. “You’re drowning in your own grief, and I can’t save you.”

Harry froze, his eyes snapping back to his sister. 

“What did you just say to me?” He asked her, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I said it’s like you’re drowning in your own grief.” She said slowly, tilting her head with narrowed eyes as Harry stared back at her like she’d stepped on his foot. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Because…..” He paused, licking over his bottom lip as he inhaled sharply, shaking his head. It was best not to mention the nightmares, or the girl. “Nothing.”

“There you go again.” She let out a bitter laugh, smacking her thighs. “You can’t keep everything bottled in forever, Harry.” 

But this, I should keep bottled in. 

“It seems to be working out alright.” Harry shrugged, searching for something to change the subject. “How are we on presents for little man this year? Did you get everything on your list?”

“Yeah, nearly.” Gemma mumbled, picking at a loose strand of thread on her scarf. “Niall has helped me get most of the shopping done when I’m at work. He’s truly a godsend, Harry. I’m so happy he lives close by, and that Noah loves him.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at his sister, previous suspicions about Niall and Gemma creeping back into his mind. He always knew there was something between the two, but he could never get a straight answer out of either of them on their feelings. Gemma swore that he was only a friend, and a good neighbor. Niall swore that he only hung around Gemma to hang out with Noah. Harry pressed his lips together, watching as Gemma’s cheeks turned pink, the soft color giving away their secrets in an instant. Normally, she was better at hiding it. 

“What?” She squeaked out, shifting in her chair.

“You slept with Niall, didn't you?” Harry said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “You finally bit the bullet and slept with him.”

“Harry, Noah is right there.” Gemma’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t say things like that in front of him!”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Gemma! Who was watching Noah when you were getting it on with Niall of all people!” Harry asked, his brows lifting up towards his hairline. “Noah doesn’t know what that means, calm down.”

Gemma snapped her mouth shut, sinking in her chair. 

Harry wasn’t really mad, but he enjoyed teasing Gemma. 

Niall was a good guy. 

“My poor nephew.” Harry tutted, shaking his head before he pressed a kiss to the soft ginger hair on top of Noah’s head. “I’m so sorry, buddy. I’ll make sure to dock Niall’s pay to help out with the therapy you’re going to need when you’re older.” 

“Alright, we get it.” Gemma grumbled, crossing her arms with a frown. “I’m a terrible mother and a horrible sister.” 

“Hey.” Harry snapped, turning his attention back towards his sister with furrowed brows and a deep frown. “I never said that, and I never will. I’m only teasing you because you slept with fucking lucky charms out there, I’m not shaming you as a woman or a mother in anyway. You’re allowed to have fun, Gemma.”

“I know.” Her lips curved into a smile as her brother nodded, glancing at Noah as the toddler tried to pull off his Grateful Dead ring. It seemed to be his nephew’s favorite ring, and Harry couldn’t wait until Noah was old enough to wear it himself. “I’ve raised you well.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry rolled his eyes with a playful snort. “I just don’t want to hear about you and Niall’s sex life ever again, capiche?”

“Got it.” She nodded, trying not to smile. “He’s a really good guy, Harry, and I really like him a lot. I would also love it if he could spend Christmas with us.”

Realization dawned over Harry as he looked at his sister. 

So that’s what this is about. 

“You want him to spend Christmas with the three of us?” Harry asked. “Like, as a family?”

“We’re gonna ease Niall into it, but I think so.” She softly laughed. “Noah adores him, Harry, and quite frankly so do I.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at his nephew with hesitation. 

These two were all that he had left in the world, and bloody Niall was trying to take them away. 

But maybe she needed someone like Niall in her life to balance out all of the bad that loomed over her head. The Irishman was supportive, and positive no matter what situation he was in. He was loyal and kind to everyone he met, and he was honest, and genuinely the best at giving advice. Harry hated to admit it, but Niall was everything Harry used to be. He couldn’t be that positive influence that his sister and nephew needed anymore, but Niall could. 

So maybe he needed to let them move on. 

“Yeah.” Harry whispered. “I’ll think about it, okay?” 

“Okay.” Gemma smiled. “That’s all I’m asking.”

“I can’t believe-”

“Oh, actually-” Gemma held up her hand, interrupting Harry. “I am also asking that you won’t kill him when I leave.” 

“That’s asking a lot.” Harry blew out a breath, shaking his head. “I’m definitely allowed at least one punch, Gemma. My best mate slept with my sister, c’mon.”

“Please don’t punch him, he bruises like a peach.” Gemma groaned.

“How do you know that?” Harry’s brows lifted before they fell, a look of disgust washing over his face as Gemma pressed her lips together. “That’s fucking gross! I didn’t need to know that!”

“I’m sorry!” 

“Did you tell him?” Niall’s head poked into Harry’s office. “Did he call me his best mate a second ago?”

“I’m going to punch you.” Harry lifted his free hand, pointing at Niall. “You’re lucky I have Noah in my lap, mate.”

“But I bruise like a peach!” Niall looked at Gemma with wide eyes. “Did ya tell him, love?”

“I did.” She nodded, but she pursed her lips in defeat. “I can’t help you with this one, Ni.”

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Niall groaned. “I knew I should have taken those self defense classes with you Gem.”

Harry watched Niall sulk out of his office, Gemma glaring at Harry before she got up to follow her new loverboy. Harry rolled his eyes before glancing down to Noah. The toddler dropped his head back against Harry’s chest, lifting his uncle’s hand up to chew on one of his fingers with a sparkle in his eyes. 

“This is your fault, mate.” Harry said softly, not a stitch of malice in his voice. “I’m only agreeing to this because I love you more than anyone else in the world, and I expect you to change my nappies in return when I’m old, do you hear me?”

“Harry.” Noah gurgled out, a gummy smile melting Harry’s fake stern expression. “Harry, hi!”

“I love you.” Harry pressed soft kisses all over Noah’s face. “You’re my favorite human... even if you don’t have any teeth.”

November 3 Holland’s POV 

Holland felt like she was going to vomit as she walked through the halls of Santa’s workshop. 

As the elves watched her with judgmental, licorice colored eyes, her palms started to sweat, and her feet moved faster. Her father requested her for an urgent meeting, but Holland truly had no idea what it could be about. She hadn’t told anyone about her dreams, afraid that people would think she was crazy for having them. She was used to the dreams, but last night’s dream put her on edge. Something was different about the situation, and it wasn’t just the fact that she knew the boy’s name. 

For the first time since they started, she saw his face. 

She would admit without shame that she would die over and over again in her dream if it meant she could look at him. His hair was shoulder length and the strands curled up at the end. He had a beautiful set of candy pink lips that Holland wanted to taste with her own, and gorgeous jade eyes that were almost translucent. She spent most of her nightmare staring into them, trying to see into his soul as if it would help her find him. 

But it didn’t work. 

He was still just a stranger to her. 

A stranger named Harry.

As she approached her father’s office, she felt her palms become slicker than they were before as her heart pounded faster and faster in her chest. She reached down for the doorknob, turning it before she pushed the heavy wooden door open. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed the three, ominous figures standing off to the side of her father’s desk. The vibe that they gave off sent shivers down her spine as the little hairs on her arm stuck up to warn her of danger. 

“Come in.” Her father ushered her in, and Holland’s feet followed the command without hesitation. “Holland, I would like for you to meet the Council of Elders.”

“Hello.” Holland offered them a small wave, her body shrinking nervously as they glared back at her. 

Their dark robes were just as creepy as the large, wooden walking sticks they carried. 

“Young child.” One of the men spoke up, holding his hand out to her. “Give me your hand.”

Holland looked towards her father, afraid to take a stranger’s hand. 

“Go on, Holland.” Her father said. “Do as they ask, my dear. I promise that they won’t hurt you.”

Holland moved closer to the man with jet black hair, sliding her fingers into his palm. 

A shock greeted her senses, causing her to gasp and jump. 

“It’s alright.” The man whispered. “Close your eyes, show me what you see.”

When Holland obeyed his order, Holland thought of the lake.

Her entire dream played out in her head, almost as if it were on a television screen instead of in her mind. The closer they got towards the end, the harder Holland gripped the man’s hand in her own. The end was the part that she hated the most, the part that tore her apart. 

“Holland, baby, please breathe for me.” Harry’s palms brushed over her cheeks, tears streaming down his own as he tried to bring her back to life. “I need you to wake up, Holland! I need you.”

The dream finished with Holland on the ice, Harry sobbing into her neck. 

He did know her name. 

“My, my, my.” The man spoke, tutting his tongue. “It seems that I was right after all.”

“Right about what?” Holland whispered, blinking her eyes rapidly in attempts to clear the tears from her vision. “How did you know about my nightmares?”

“Because I rule them, my dear.” The man spoke. “I’m Morpheus, the god of dreams.”

“Oh.” She whispered, still in shock. “You make those happen?”’

“Most dreams are of my creation, but not yours.” He said. “Your nightmare is crafted at the hand of someone else, a master manipulator that has conned his way into using someone else’s magic.” 

“Morpheus, I would like to know what in the sleigh bells is going on with my daughter-”

“Kristopher, this is not your place.” The shortest of the three men hissed, his chubby cheeks turning red. 

“Now, now…” The only woman spoke up, a sly smirk on her black painted lips. “Erotes, Kristopher is merely concerned for his offspring.”

“If he was concerned about her well being, Ma’at, he would not have split her from the boy-”

“Erotes.” Morpheus drawled out. “He could not have known about the boy.

“He should have known.” Erotes turned back to Holland, offering her a soft smile. “To be parted from the other half of one’s soul is a pain I would not wish on my worst enemies. I sincerely apologize on behalf of myself for letting you be away from him for so long.”

“I don’t understand.” Holland looked from Erotes to Morpheus, her brow furrowed. “What does-”

“Things have changed, haven’t they?” The man hummed out as if Holland were a specimen that he was examining in a lab instead of a girl. 

“He knows my name.” She whispered. “And I know his name.”

“And you didn’t know it before.” The man narrowed his dark eyes, staring at her with a curious grin. “How is that, little elf?”

“I don’t know.” She tried to pull her hand back, but the man kept her fingers in a tight hold. “I just...I had the first dream when I was five, and it’s always been the same up until last week. It was all the same until suddenly I saw his face, clearer than it’s ever been before. I said his name like I’d known it all along and then….when I was drowning I saw him for the first time.”

Holland cleared her throat as it started to tighten, trying to regain her voice.

“You saw who did it.” The man spoke. “You know who it is that is trying to kill you both?”

“I do.” She nodded, licking over her lips nervously. “It’s Jack Frost.”

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Kris spoke up from his desk, his chair scraping across the wooden floor as he stood up. “What does Frost have to do with this?”

“The boy that you exposed yourself to as Santa sixteen years ago on Christmas night is your daughter’s other half.” Erotes said. “They are two souls created from the same star, the brightest star, and their love for each other has been tainted by your ignorance. The moment you laid eyes on the boy, you should have contacted me.”

“He reminded me of Holland, but I didn’t...” Kris said. “He had that same glow that she has in her eyes, I remember that much about him.”

“Their souls were forged from the ash of the Christmas star.” Morpheus said. “Other than you and your son, these two are the last people on earth with true Christmas spirit and it is their job as children of the Christmas star to instill that spirit into the souls of everyone they meet.”

“Jack Frost wishes to kill them both to absorb that power for a different use, of course.” Ma’at spoke up, drawing Holland’s eyes from Morpheus. “In the wrong hands, their power can be used for evil things.”

“When Frost kills them both, he will kill Christmas.” Erotes tutted. “We wouldn’t want that to happen, Kringle. The humans wouldn’t know what to do without Christmas, it would be horrible.”

“So what do we do?” Holland looked at Morpheus, swallowing around the lump in her throat as he looked down at her. 

“We must keep an eye on Jack Frost.” Morpheus spoke. “And you must find your soulmate. He has suffered great tragedy, and his Christmas spirit is nearly gone. You must save him, and restore his power if you wish to properly fight for your lives.”

“Both souls must be pure in order for you to fight Jack Frost and his twisted magic.” Ma’at said. 

“You must go to him, Holland.” Erotes said. “You must be by your beloved.” 

“I don’t have any clue how to survive in the real world.” She shook her head. “And I don’t know where to find him, or how I would even begin to restore his Christmas spirit. I’ve never been trained on that kind of thing.” 

“Look at me, Holland.” Morpheus snapped. “I have faith in your ability to do this without failing, but my faith in you is nothing if you don’t believe in yourself. Let that be the lesson you learn during this mission of yours.”

“Without Christmas, the rest of us will cease to exist.” Ma’at said. “The entire world of magic relies on you.”

“I will take you to him in six days time.” Erotes said. “He is in London.”

She swallowed, clenching her fingers into fists at her side. 

“Alright.” She said softly. “What do I need to do to prepare myself?”

“There is a book you must read.” Morpheus said. “I will send it to you as soon as I return to my own realm. You need to practice your Christmas magic, little elf.”

When Holland blinked, the council of elders was gone without a trace.

She turned around to her Father with wide eyes, her mouth open in shock. 

“What in the sugar plum just happened?” 

November 7 Harry’s POV

Harry felt like he was one gust of winter wind away from falling over. 

The lack of sleep was starting to catch up to him as the days grew shorter and the nights colder. 

Fighting off sleep to avoid the violent dreams that plagued his mind at night wasn’t helping, because no matter how hard he tried to fight it off with caffeine, or cold showers, he ended up falling into the ominous forest in his mind where he would inevitably watch the girl die the same way that she always did. But the blue haired man was getting bolder, taunting Harry with icy smirks and snide remarks. Harry could never retaliate with his feet frozen solid to the forest ground however. His eyes were always glued to the girl with snow white hair as she cried his name out, his heart breaking in his chest as he accepted the cruel fate bestowed upon them. 

She was fighting so hard to stay alive, and it killed Harry knowing that it was never enough. He spent a lot of time trying to convince himself that it was just a nightmare, something that the darkest parts of his brain conjured up to punish him. But with each passing night that he stared into the girls eyes, he started to think that he was wrong about that. His brain didn’t conjure this dream up at all, it was real. It made him feel insane, of course, thinking that some recurring dream with two strangers in it wasn’t a dream at all, but a reality. But he couldn’t shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach that this was a premonition, not a figment of his imagination. 

That girl was real, and Harry cared for her. 

They weren’t just friends in the nightmares, they were lovers.

At this point, he was considering committing himself to an insane asylum so that he didn’t end up accidentally telling someone about these dreams. If he told anyone, they would surely look at him like he was loony, and he couldn’t really blame them. It was a weird situation, and he didn’t have anyone he could confide in. 

“Why do you look like you’re in pain?” Niall nudged Harry’s foot with his own, lifting his pint up to his lips as Harry snapped out of his thoughts. “You’ve been staring at the table for like, five solid minutes. Do you have heartburn or something?” 

“I don’t have heartburn, you prick.” Harry rolled his eyes, grabbing his own pint from the table before he tipped it back. “I’m still upset with you for sleeping with my sister.”

“Here it goes.” Mitch inhaled, trying not to laugh as he reached for his whiskey. “Styles, I don’t think talking about your sister’s sex life with your best mate, while your drunk, is a good idea.”

“Yeah, what Mitch said.” Niall shifted uncomfortable as Harry slapped on a fake scowl, sending it towards the blonde boy. “You’ve already threatened to punch me-”

“I’m still going to.” Harry said plainly. “Of all the women in the world, you had to pick my sister.”

“Mitchell, help me.” Niall whined, glancing over at the brunette with desperate eyes. “I don’t want to die tonight.”

“I don’t think that I can help you.” Mitch shrugged his shoulders, catching the wink Harry sent his way. “He might actually kill you.”

“I might.” Harry shrugged, sipping at his beer. “I might save it for a rainy day, who knows?”

“Jesus.” Niall scoffed, shaking his head. “I better call my Ma and tell her I love her then.”

“Niall, I’m kidding.” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “I’m happy for you both. I think you’re good for her, even if I hate to admit it.”

“Really?” Niall let out a sigh. “Because I really like her.” 

“I know that you do.” Harry nodded, sitting his pint glass on the table. “And I know that you love Noah just as much as you love her.”

“I really do.” Niall’s lips curved up in a secret smile. “They make me happy.” 

“And the end of the day, that’s all we can really ask for.” Harry shrugged his shoulders. "But I don't want to hear anymore about how you bruise like a peach or what you get up to in your spare time.” 

“That’s fair enough.” Niall nodded.

Harry lifted his pint glass, downing what was left before he stood up. 

“Where are you going?” Niall’s brows furrowed. “It’s still early!”

“I’ve got to open the shop tomorrow.” Harry reached for his jacket, sliding his arms in. “I don’t want to be late….or hungover.”

“I think you’ll already be hungover.” Mitch laughed. “I can open if you’d like me to, I don’t have any plans tomorrow.”

“Nah, you spend time working on those guitar skills, shredder.” Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked at Niall. “And you, treat my sister to breakfast or something you lowlife.”

“Will do.” Niall laughed, his cheeks turning pink. “We’ll drop something off for you with Noah?”

“I’d like that.” Harry mumbled, offering Niall a tight lipped smile. “Alright lads, you be good.”

“Same to you.” 

Harry waved at his friends before he made his way out of the pub. 

He walked towards the end of the street, looking both ways before he ran across. 

His building wasn’t far from the pub, but the wind whipping around made it feel like a twenty mile trek in the tundra. Harry was shivering by the time he made it into his building, his feet carrying him slowly through the lobby and towards the lift. He stepped in, using his elbow to press the button to his floor as his teeth started to chatter. The landlord was going to get an earful about the temperature inside the building tomorrow, Harry would make sure of it. 

He stepped off of the lift, fumbling his fingers around in his pocket until he made contact with his keys. He pulled them out, glancing down until he found the one that opened his flat. As he walked down the hall, his mind went back to the girl. He could almost smell her familiar scent in the air, berries and clove filling his senses with every step he took. He was sure one of the ladies that lived down his hall was burning a winter candle with the same scent. 

It was the only explanation. 

When he made it towards his door, he heard a soft gasp. 

He lifted his head up, his eyes growing wide as he saw the girl from his dreams standing right across the hall from his flat. She was staring at him, her pine colored eyes wide with disbelief and her berry red lips parted with shock. Her hair wasn’t as white as he remembered, more honey colored tones tied into the strands to compliment her skin. Harry stopped in his tracks, his heart slamming against his rib cage as she blinked rapidly, shaking her head as if she were trying to bring herself back into reality. 

Harry swallowed around the nerves in his throat as he took one step forward. 

Just as his foot landed on the ground, she fell to the floor. 

Harry felt like he lost all of the air in his lungs, vivid visions of her body falling through the ice playing through his mind. But this time, he could do something about it. He rushed forward, grabbing her arms with his palms to lift her up as her head lolled back. She was limp, her body heavy and warm in his hands. He was shocked by just how warm she was, her skin was usually ice cold by the time that he got to her. He felt the tears blurring his eyes as she lay there. 

“No, no.” He shook his head. “Get up!” 

Her eyes snapped open at that, the dark shade of green greeting Harry like a breath of fresh air. 

He was stone cold sober when he yanked her against his chest, holding her tight in his arms. 

“I can’t breathe.” She gasped out, her hands tapping his shoulders. “Harry?”

He pulled back, staring back into her eyes with pink cheeks. 

“How are you here?” He asked her, licking over his lips. 

“Um, I don’t really have an answer for any of it.” She cleared her throat, glancing away from his gaze with shy eyes. “I just kind of...ended up here?”

“Did you take a taxi or something?” He asked, confused when she laughed. “Do you live in London? Have you always lived in London?”

“To be honest with you, I think that I teleported here.” She said slowly, like she was unsure of the response he might have. “That might sound insane to you. I know you only ever see stuff like that in Dr. Who, but um, it’s kind of real?”

“You sound like a mad woman.” He whispered, his eyes flitting over the features of her face, taking it all in. “But for some reason, I believe you.”

“If you think that was mad, wait until we dive into the fun stuff.” She said softly, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here, if I’m being honest with you.”

Harry nodded, loosening his grip on her arms. 

“Do you have some place to stay?” He asked her. “Or do you plan on teleporting back to wherever you came from?”

“Um, that’s my flat.” She pointed to the door just next to them. “I’m staying there until...well, until I can go home.” 

Harry suddenly felt drunk again, his mind swirling with information as he let go of her. 

She sat up on her own, clearing her throat as she brushed her palms over her thighs. 

“I’m gonna get off of the floor now.” She said softly. “Is that okay?”

“Just promise me that you won’t faint again.” He felt his brows pull together in concern, panic flashing into his heart. “Please?”

“I will try not to.” Her laughter still sounded like bells. “Um, so, I know your name-”

“But I’ve never learned yours.” He finished for her, standing up before he offered his hands out to her. He pulled her up, pressing his hand against her hip when she stumbled. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good.” She offered him a smile, one that genuinely comforted him. “I’m Holland.” 

Holland. 

“Holland, baby, please breathe.” 

“I did know that.” He cleared his throat, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck as his cheeks grew warm. “I guess….I guess I forgot about that part of my dream.”

“Our dream.” She pressed her lips together, fighting off a smile. “I have the same one.”

“How do you know both of our dreams are the same?” He asked, a small smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. “Maybe mine is different from yours.”

“I think I die in each version of the dream, Harry.” She said softly, trying not to laugh when his face paled. “But, I’m here now, in the flesh!” 

“But you’re going to die.” He said slowly, anger rising in his chest. “That’s not funny.”

“No, I’m not going to die.” She was firm with her response, holding her chin up proudly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I refuse to die like that, it just won’t do.”

“I don’t think you can control it.” Harry said, his voice bleeding with frustration and disbelief. “You are a mad woman.”

“I’m not.” Her berry lips pushed out into a pout, and Harry nearly dropped to his knees. “I’m very smart, and extremely sane, Harry. I just….I happen to know things that you don’t!”

“Things like teleportation?” He asked, his brows lifting towards his hairline. “You look different, did you know that?” 

“No.” She said. “Why do I look different?”

“Your hair is normally white.” He lifted his hand, grabbing a few strands gently. “And your skin is normally like the snow.”

“I suppose it would be weird if I walked around London looking like that, eh?” She asked. “I can’t exactly be myself in this world.” 

Harry knew what that was like. 

“I think you’ll be just fine.” He whispered. “You’re still beautiful.”

“Well, I should probably go inside.” Holland said softly. “I’m quite knackered from all of that teleporting and stuff.” 

Harry felt panic start to rise in his chest again. 

She was leaving him. 

What if something happened to her while he was just across the hall?

He would never forgive himself. 

“You’re…” He felt his palms get sweaty. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“I’m sure.” She nodded. “I’ve done a lot of research on this place, so I think I’ve got the hang of everything.”

“This place, as in the complex or this place, as in earth?”

“This place as in London.” She snorted. “I’m from Earth, gumdrop. I just come from a very small, remote island near the arctic.”

“Are you really from earth?” He let out a breathy chuckle. “Because I could have sworn you fell from heaven.”

Harry watched her cheeks glow like they did in the beginning of his dream. 

“You’re cheeky.” She said softly. “I learned what that means by watching Skins. By the way, those children should all be on the naughty list, they’re horrid.”

Harry froze, watching Holland as she shook her head. 

“You still believe in Santa?” He asked her softly, as if he were afraid he would startle her. 

“Oh, yeah.” Her eyes grew wide, but she was quick to look away. “Who doesn’t?”

“Most of the world.” He cleared his throat. “Most of us don’t even like Christmas.”

“Gumdrop, by the time I’m through with you, I’ll have you singing Christmas Carols with Santa himself.” 

“If there’s one thing you should know about me, Holland-” His voice was low as he spoke, frustration bubbling in his chest.. “It’s that I will never love Christmas or anything that has to do with that bloody holiday.”

He pulled his hand back, turning on his heel before he slipped his key into the lock. 

He could feel Holland’s eyes on his back, but after the comment he made, he needed a little time to cool down. Sure, Holland was someone that he had dreamed of meeting for most of his life, but he didn’t really know her as a person. He drew the line at Christmas with anyone, and she was no exception to his strict rule. He pushed into his flat, shutting the door behind him with his foot. Seconds later, he dropped his head against the door with a heavy sigh. 

“Maybe this is another dream.” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “Wake up, Harry.” 

But when he opened his eyes, he was still standing in his apartment, and he could still smell the sweet scent of berry and clove. 

[hiljaisuudesta]

Dear @lostinfeathers tagged me in this, liebsten Dank ❤️ Also @haraldrharfagri tagged me in this too on another blog, so I’ll just answer this here, if you don’t mind! Thanks a bunch!

rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better

when is your birthday: About a week ago, so in the end of November!

where do you live: somewhere up in the north of Germany

three things you are doing right now: singing along to a song I’ve listened to way too much lately (fortunately nobody’s here to hear that), drinking tea I’ve had in my Advent calendar today and actually I should be finishing the application for a traineeship at a museum that I started writing earlier today.

four fandoms that have piqued your interest: I’ve got to admit that I am boring enough never to have actually participated in any kind of fandom... unless you consider historical reenactment to be the cosplay of the history fandom, then... there’s that.

how has the pandemic been treating you: Oh, it made me lose the same job twice (while keeping me from finding another one) and made an end to all the plans I’ve had for myself - at least for now -, so yeah, not so well, I guess. 

a song you can’t stop listening to right now: I’ve mentioned it before, Passers-By by Prag 83.

recommend a movie: Okay, I’ll pick something less common this time. I’ll recommend Kwaidan (怪談) by Kobayashi Masaki, a collection of four Japanese ghost stories. Each episode is absolutely unique and masterfully made on its own and I am just very much in love with this. If you are into folk “horror”, I’m pretty sure you will love this movie too.

how old are you: I’m close to leaving my 20s now. Huh.

school, university, occupation, other: Currently working in retail until I can finally get back to uni and do my MA or get a traineeship.

do you prefer heat or cold: Considering I always prefer cooler room temperatures, I’d say cold. Also, you can always dress warmer and make yourself cozy, while it’s kinda difficult the other way round.

name one fact others may not know about you: As a child, I had to wear an eyepatch for about one year due to Amblyopia. It didn’t help though. (And I’m still wearing my glasses way too rarely...)

are you shy: Considering the fact that I used to be in therapy to due to social anxiety, how could I say no? I mean, I can speak to customers fairly easily (guess I’m playing some kind of role then?), but on a personal level, actually getting to know people is rather difficult sometimes. Takes me a bit to open up and coming up to strangers myself is still kind of impossible for me. But I’ve come a long way, I try to remember that.

pronouns: he/him

biggest pet peeves: Currently it’s deliberate inconsiderateness. I regularly have to deal with people unwilling to wear masks, keep their distance or otherwise stick to basic guidelines during a pandemic and it’s driving me absolutely mad.

what’s your favourite “dere” type: Do I have to feel old for having to google that? 😅 But I don’t know, none of those seem to perfectly fit my taste? Mayadere reminds me of the classic enemies to lovers trope though and that’s quite fine?

rate your life from 1 to 10 (1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be): Things aren’t good right now. So a 3 perhaps? Or 4 at best? I don’t know. So much is wrong and difficult and out of my hands and I’m stressed and anxious and just not feeling my best, but at least there are a couple of genuinely good people in my life that I appreciate a lot? It really makes up for a lot.

what’s your main blog: This one here is the only one that I actively use and that doesn’t run on queue.

list your sideblogs and what theyre used for:

@moornebheym - my “portfolio” of sorts

@inatt - a nature blog

@inattpoesie - a blog for my written stuff. The fact that its theme is entirely broken kinda shows how often it is updated  🙃

is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends: I feel like my life’s running on pretty little social energy, so I can be really slow to reply sometimes. It’s never meant in a bad way though, I just suck at conversing. But I’m trying my best.

So, if you feel like it, I’ll once again tag @the-raven-that-refused-to-sing, @hilema, @skyforgesteel, @ulvindem, @wvnjo, @asolitude, @sleeperlenore and @itriedtoescape 

[squizzy14]

2017 The Year of Great Change

Where to start??

2017 our family of 5, became a family of 8!

The beginning of the changes as always came over time and subtly.

It was early 2013 and Nicole had just returned from living in Exmouth. On her trip down, she was involved in a car accident, rolling her vehicle, lucky to escape with only minor bumps and bruises.

She was only back a month, when she met a cheeky Irishman, by the name of Danny. It wasn’t long before they were spending most of their time together. He definitely was a romantic soul, slow dancing with her down on the Freo foreshore.

Nicole had applied for a job working on a luxury yacht, which offered cruises from Broome around to the horizontal falls and the top end.

She was successful in getting the job and as it was an opportunity not to be missed, she accepted.

Danny not wanting to let go of what he had, quickly decided to follow her up to Broome. They were inseparable after that.

In 2010 after Beck finished school, she began a journey with YWAM, which would last well into 2012. This journey took her to many countries around the world, including Mexico, India, Mozambique and Kenya.

While on this journey, Beck developed a real deep love for God, the lost and a desire to teach. It was during this time she developed a passion to become a midwife.

After settling back into life in Busselton, Beck was successful in her application to study midwifery at Curtin Uni. She started her degree in 2014.

Our youngest daughter Hannah finished school in 2012, so a major part of her teenage years, her 2 siblings were living away from home. In 2010, Hannah went on a school trip over to Sydney. It was on this school trip, that a boy in her class plucked up the courage to ask her if they could date.

From those early days when they were probably not much more than close friends, their relationship grew into a very strong bond.

So now it is November 2015 and we are busily planning Hannah’s 21st party, which was going to be a twilight cruise on Geographe bay. Hannah and I wanted to checkout a boat, to see if it would be suitable and we asked Nic to come along as she had spent a lot of time on boats. We were waiting for Nic and Danny to arrive, when we saw them approaching with big smiles on their faces. We quickly learned that Danny had asked Nicole to marry him that day 💍.

Hannah was a bit put out, as she was secretly hoping James would ask her first, but we were all delighted and the date of 23rd Feb 2017 was decided on (this was the anniversary of the day, they started dating, and also my parents wedding anniversary.)

In July 2016, Hannah’s good friend from school, Rachel was getting married in England. Hannah was honoured to be one of her bridesmaids, so James and her made plans to fly to England and also have a short stopover at a couple of places in Europe.

While in Venice riding on a gondola, James proposed and of course Hannah accepted 💍

So now we have 2 daughters engaged. Hannah worked in a school, so they were tied to the school holidays, in making their decision for a date. After much discussion the 8th April 2017 was decided upon. Now we have 2 weddings in 6 weeks 😳👰👰

Meanwhile, Beck is in full swing of her midwife course, which she completes at the end of 2016. Next step is securing a graduate program, so she can at last be utilising her skills. Bek is offered a position at Fiona Stanley Hospital, and she is due to start work the week of Nicole’s wedding 🎩.

To make February just a little more busy, Beck gets notification that her graduation ceremony is also going to be just before Nic’s wedding.

We were proud of Beck completing her studies and starting work in a field she is very passionate about.

Nic and Danny’s day was beautiful, ceremony was at Castle Rock, Dunsborough and reception at the yacht club. Hannah and Beck were part of the bridal party and everyone enjoyed the day.

We had a week relaxing, before we got stuck into organising Hannah’s wedding.

Hannah and James had the ceremony and lunch picnic at James uncles farm. It was very lovely and relaxing. In the evening they held an intimate dinner by candlelight in the garden of James parents house with close family and the bridal party.

The only blemish on the day, was I woke with a massive migraine and had to be heavily sedated so I could attend the day. Needless to say it was pretty much a blur, but everyone said the day was a great success.

It was only a few weeks later, that Nic and Danny came around with this photo

Another surprise for 2017, Nic and Danny would become parents in November 2017.

On November 23rd after a very long labour, Jasper David Brazil became the newest addition to our family.

It has been a great joy to watch him grow and learn, he has the best smile and is quite cheeky. He has been crawling for about a month and a half, and is desperately trying to stand whenever he can. Jasper is now 8months.

It was about a month before Jasper was born that we toyed with the idea of downsizing. We got a real estate friend come and have a look at our family home and get an idea of what it might be worth.

We were still deciding what to do, when he said he had someone who might be interested. Anyway they came and within a matter of days, the prospective buyers gave us an offer.

There was a bit of tooing and froing, and sometime passed, and our home was sold. Then we had the daunting task of finding another home. This was quite a hard task and after looking at many homes, we bought a new place, significantly reducing our debts 😊

We moved out of our family home of 20 Years mid February, it was very sad for our whole family, but we are slowly making new memories in our new home.

Nic, Danny & Jasper have started their own adventure now, traveling around Australia, at present in Broome. Bek is about to go to the US for a holiday and when she gets back is hoping to get some work in either Broome or Darwin. Warren is talking about applying for a camp manager position in Albany.

One thing you can be sure of, life is an adventure and change is constant. Sometimes it comes all at once, other times it is so slow and gradual that you don’t even realise that’s happening. I am looking forward to the next few years, to see where they take us, until then.

Ciao Sue 😘

[franticatatlantic-blog]

My UWC Journey

Compared to some of my co years, my UWC Journey had been a bit unorthodox. For a start I didn't discover UWC through family and friends, or through an activity or short course. I found UWC through Google, out of sheer boredom.

It was the summer before year 11, and I had to start thinking about further education. My most obvious choice after GCSEs was to stay at my school's sixth form, like all my friends. But part of my wanted to be different; I didn't want to be like everyone else. I'd spent my whole life wanting to travel and explore other cultures, and had spent my whole life being told "you can do that when you're older!" by adults. But I wanted to see if there was something I could do, like an exchange program.

Instead I found UWC. And was immediately hooked.

It looked like the perfect thing for me; I eagerly and painstakingly filled out the application, begged for references and basically planned my future. One small issue however: my parents absolutely hated it. Not the actual idea of UWC, just the idea of my leaving two years earlier than they expected to go to UWC (at the time I didn't fully understand why, but now I do). Still, they let me apply because "we don't want you to say we don't let you chase opportunities".

So in October 2016 I sent in my application. Yes you read that right, October 2016. And I waited and waited with everyone else. And I didn't get an interview. For a day or so I was crushed, but I brushed myself off and moved on, because I had GCSEs to focus on.

Fast forward to summer 2017, and a small email appears in my inbox telling me UWC applications have opened. I'd put the idea of me attending to rest up to that point, but that email forced it to make a resurgence. I'd been rejected before, so what was the harm in applying again?

And so the same process occurred; I wrote my application, begged the same teachers for references and focused on my A levels with this on the side. The key difference this time was my parents no longer hated the idea of me attending UWC. In that year they'd opened up a lot more to the idea of me going; I'd be leaving in a year anyway for uni, and I'd matured a lot since last year. They could see I was serious, and wasn't going to drop it, so more willingly they let me apply. So October 2017 rolls round and my application is sent in and the waiting began again.

Around the end of November emails were sent out; people were told they got an interview, people were told they didn't. But some people (including me!) were basically put on a waiting list. The NC was considering holding more interviews in January or February, and I'd been put on this list. I was in shock, one year ago I'd been crying because I didn't get an interview, and now I had a chance.

The days move on and December rocks up. Interviews are the second week. However, during the first I got another email from the NC. They had reviewed their numbers, and there was a space on the 14th if I wanted it! I got this on the 7th, so cue some frantic phone calls, hotel booking and pleading with school to get time off.

So next week on a cold wet night (so cold there was a snow warning and I almost wasn't allowed to go) my dad and I drove over 200 miles down to Atlantic College in Wales for my interview. I won't go into too much detail as this post is already long and interviews deserve a separate post, but all I can say is it was amazing.

After interviews and college choice forms had been filled in, there was yet another round of waiting. It was a little better as we had applicant group chats, so we stressed out together. Finally two months later in the middle of February, people started receiving emails.

Traditionally people got physical letters in the post and we were all expecting that, so it was a bit of a shock and more nerve wracking to learn it was coming by email. And they sent them out randomly; people were finding out they didn't get in or they got a college at the same time, which added to the stress of it.

Eventually my email came. I braced myself for the truth, I hadn't got into a UWC but it was an achievement to get this far, right? I opened it, and it turned out I got an offer for Atlantic College!!!

Over the last six months it's been very surreal; for a while we weren't sure if I could attend due to the cost (shout out to AC for 10% bursary and for the universe for deciding my dad should get a promotion) and it's been a bit demeaning putting so much work into this year of A level, knowing I won't use it (bye bye geography controlled assessment). But now with only five days to go, it's finally sinking in.

Guess it's time to finish packing; I've got a new adventure ahead of me. Next stop, Wales!

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Thursday 23rd November: Update

It feels like it has been quite a while since I posted some sort of an update on here, and I can only apologise that and for my disappearance. I am going to place my *update* under a read more as I realise it could be triggering and also I am not sure how long it’s going to be, which knowing me it will likely go on a while. So, here goes...

This is going to be an update about treatment: I have now been under the Bristol ED team for a number of weeks and I think it is fair to say that I have not been doing very well. My mental health has taken a real turn for the worse since coming to University and although some things are good/I am enjoying living in Bristol/doing well at my course on paper, I am at the same time, very far from ‘okay’ and am not coping. 

I have been stuck in a nasty relapse and have been finding it incredibly hard to see a way out. I don’t know *exactly* what triggered this and right now I am not in a place to be exploring it beyond the surface level, but I have been feeling increasingly more hopeless as time passes. I think that one of the biggest reasons for this is because I am going around in circles/the same cycles year after year after year. I can do so much at home, I get so far and then I end up back in a really dark place, undoing the hard work I put in. Part of me knows why it might be (probably to do with never really letting go/letting anorexia dictate ‘recovery’ and not reaching and maintaining the goal weight I was set - as well as not getting therapy alongside it all).

In all honest I am tired of fighting. STEPs are a great service however when you are stuck in relapse it can be quite difficult as they work on the motivation to change cycle; which I am very much lacking in at the moment. I have been placed on a waiting list for a contemplation group, however that group does not start until the end of January and until then I have just been having, and will continue to have, weekly appointments for checking in ‘try to stabilise’. 

There has now been another option thrown into the mix due to my continued deterioration and inability to pull myself back up. It was mentioned at my last appointment and I was told to go away to consider things until today where we talked about it more. Basically, to keep things as short as I can, they want me to seriously consider an admission. This has thrown a real spanner in the works and has caused my head to be on over-drive for the past two weeks however part of me is almost relieved? I am simply not coping and as hard as that is to admit, I am desperate for help and am so tired of *this* being my life. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I have let down so many people, including my parents and myself. I hate hate hate the idea of dropping out of University again but I know deep down that I cannot get through another term like this. It just isn’t possible. The inpatient admission was mentioned when I was already feeling quite unsure about my course (I am feeling a little better about it now) as well as feeling very cut-off /left out from University life - so it pretty much sent my head into a constant spin. 

Today I said that I am seriously considering the option. Saying those words terrifies me but at the same time I am just, idk, I am at the end of my tether. I feel unable to make changes myself (god knows I have tried) and I am just...exhausted.

I am going to be meeting with the consultant within the next two weeks (I am awaiting a phone call to confirm the date/time as he was on the phone today when G tried to see him during our appointment). Apparently from that appointment with the consultant and G, I will then get to look around the ward itself and see how they work/consider the goals of the admission - all whilst not being tied down to anything. Then there is the waiting list...which who knows how long it is. G said the consultant might know a little more. This would of course mean taking time out from my course. Right now my goal is to finish first term and do my January exams so that I don’t have to repeat first term when/should I return. However I have a number of barriers in the way that need exploring: the main one is to do with accommodation, which I think terminates if I were to leave for medical reasons, however that would then mean that I wouldn’t have an address in Bristol, hence no GP in Bristol - which has a direct impact on the treatment I could get (if that makes sense?). It is all quite messy. Home is not an option this time around for many reasons including: I would be going home to literally no treatment team (my home team is very small anyway/lack of resources and then the few people I used to see have now all left) there are no IP beds in the county so would likely not get that level of treatment, home recovery is something I have attempted countless numbers of times but it has not been effective (I had one short IP stay which did help but, in hind sight was not enough), my parents are going to NZ for a month late Jan/Feb time so I would be all alone, I would be even more isolated/end up spending another year in my room, little therapy options etc. 

So with home not being an option, and suspending studies likely meaning I have no address here, there is a lot that I need to look into/find out about. The worry is also there about what would happen from discharge as I would want to continue working with the team and thus need to be in Bristol..Anyway, you can kind of get a feel for this ‘small’ dilemma. I then have other things that need looking into. My head is giving me hell for even considering an admission, and I can’t/won’t put into words some of the things that it is tormenting me over but I think you can get the general idea/gist.

The worries about whether University is right for me or even the course are still there however I am not sure if my terrible mental state is having a huge impact on how I feel about them both. In that sense, taking some time out might make a little sense as it might help me to see whether it is what I want to be doing. At the same time it would be ANOTHER year with my life on hold and to do that....god I can’t even. 

The last little bit of my appointment was spent with G trying to persuade me to find even the smallest bit of fight within me to try to stop the spiral that has been growing and growing. medical beds have been mentioned a number of times and she did ask me how I felt about that as a possibility and tbh it isn't even something I consider to be applicable to me. I know the facts about it all but I don’t see it ever happening to me. My bloods are okay at the moment, I have never really had too much of a problem in the past when I have been ‘worse’, so I don’t see it as an issue. At least one reassuring thing that came from that discussion, the ward does not take people who are medically unstable and they try to keep it as supportive environment as possible for people to use to help move forwards. Of course there will be times when there might be people detained there, however they try to avoid this and do not do any NG tubing (such a relief as I know being in that kind of environment would just not be good for me). 

Anyway, in true Kitty style I have rambled on and am now not even sure what I have talked about/forgotten to mention but I suppose this is just a small update about things treatment wise. I can’t emphasise enough how truly sorry I am for letting you all down and for being in this position once again. I would never wish this illness on anyone in the whole entire world and to know that there are so many of you out there who also struggle is hard. Right now I am focusing on getting through the next few weeks; I have a lot on a Uni at the moment what with a 26hour week next week (I know and that is just the hours IN uni not the pre/post labs and write ups), a neuroanatomy exam the week after and a physiology exam the next. Not forgetting the neuroscience, pharmacology and physiology exams in January that are each 2 hours long...sigh.

Hopefully I will hear back about the consultant meeting soon and I will keep my blog updated best I can. Please take care of yourselves, I know it is hard and some days are harder than others but we have to keep holding on, even if it is just in the hope that tomorrow might be a little more manageable xxx

[newidaho]

19.  Social Media, 2054

Don’t have the time/patience/desire to read with your eyes? Don’t have eyes? Well, have your friend read you this:  You can check out the audiobook for free on Apple, Google, Stitcher, or Spotify.  Subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday!

A Brief History of Social Media

As Researched by Steven Carki, UNI Class of ’56

Dated 24 November 2054

Sometimes it’s difficult to think back to the days of our grandparents, where social media was no more than a handwritten list of friends you could call on the telephone.  Now online social networks have been a part of our every day lives for nearly fifty years.  Clubhouse, the latest, greatest player in the game, just celebrated its twentieth birthday this past year.

Of course, social media didn’t always look the way it does today.  While myself and many of my peers were raised on Virtual Reality, our parents were raised in the era of screens, with VR no more than a new fad, a technology they knew had potential, but did not yet know to what end.

Thus, for my final presentation in Modern Anthropology, I would like to discuss the history of social media in the world.  Ideally, I would like to leave behind a transcript so that others may look back and remember where all this came from.

The first major surge in social media took place in the early ‘00s.  The first notable social media giant was a company called MySpace, which debuted in 2003 and remained the largest social networking site in the world until 2009.  Its replacement, Facebook, was founded one year later in 2004 and took the market by storm for the next couple decades.  Other giants include Twitter, founded 2006, and Instagram in 2010.

For the 2010s, these companies would rule the social media market, especially after the advent of the smart phone in 2007.  As the smartphone became more and more commonplace, social media apps became the go-to time-wasters on everybody’s glass devices, each with their own niche.  Facebook, much like Clubhouse today, provided a central hub for all friends, where you could like different pages, post status updates, keep photo albums, and make your own clubs and events.  Twitter’s interface prompted users to share short blurbs that their followers could scroll through.  Instagram was similar to Twitter, but for pictures only (Hartford, 2045).

As the ‘20s approached, however, the fall of the social media giants appeared imminent to those who kept their eyes open.  The influx of participants from the older generation on these applications signified the beginning of the decline.  What once appealed to the younger generations was adopted by their grandparents, seriously cutting down the cool factor of the software.  Though this trend was noticeable far earlier, the median age range of each company had grown to 46-52 by 2025 (Skaroff 2034).

In addition to the influx of older generations, privacy scandals started to plague the giants from the 2010s well into the ‘20s.  What started as companies selling user information for ad revenue evolved into much more suspect behavior, with rumors accusing the companies of everything from colluding to form a national registry to selling information to hackers under the table.

Regardless of who the information was sold to, the increasingly sophisticated methods each company used to pry into their users’ lives made their followers increasingly uncomfortable.  The result for social media companies was an immediate drop in reputation and a steady decline in market share as long-time users looked for more trustworthy alternative social media outlets.

Unfortunately for users, it was extremely difficult for any competing social media network to attain critical mass in the smartphone application market.  Even amidst the controversy, social media companies continued to innovate and improve their services at a rate that no others could keep up with.  Even with new features added to keep users on board, however, the companies continued to undermine their trustworthiness as they proceeded to sell their users’ information in creative new ways that inevitably made it above ground in due time.

Toward the end of the ‘20s, things were looking dire for the giants.  With the continued growth of virtual reality, everyone could feel a sea change coming.  To prepare for the new age, in 2027 each company decided, allegedly independently, to change their name, building what was later known as “The ’27 Club”.  One after one, each tried to become known as something new—“F,” “Birdie,” and “QuickPic”.

Suffice to say, the rebranding tactic left much to be desired.  Not only were users not fooled by the new branding, the new names were notably lamer than their predecessors.  Add to this the aging demographic of the giants’ user bases, and the companies seemed destined for irrelevance.

The companies held on for about four more years until each of them finally went bankrupt in the “Social Crash of ’31”.  It took a decade longer than many thought it should have, but people were finally done with the social media giants for good.  The disappearance of the giants left a huge hole in the social media market, which many new companies tried to fill.  The general populace, however, had apparently decided they were done, and refused to adopt any of the new players in the web-based social media market.  Technology users returned to a world of group and personal messages, forgoing the need to broadcast their lives for a time.

This period after the Social Crash of ’31 was known as “The Great Purification”.  Though the period of absolute social media abstinence lasted only three years, this time was generally viewed favorably by those who lived through it.  A generation was perceiving the world and relationships in a whole new way.  Like someone newly sober, there was an element of latent wonder in this new view, and many asked themselves why they didn’t get off the services sooner.

Even though many enjoyed their new perspective on the wagon, all it took was a new innovator for the great majority of consumers to fall off.  In 2034, nine years after the Lucid Mask redefined Virtual Reality into a major consumer market, a new social media craze was born out of a dorm room on New Idaho University’s campus.

The new mastermind was Nathan Habernick, a prodigious English Major in his junior year.  As he put it in a 2035 interview:

“I was always captivated by the worlds that authors and filmmakers would create.  I wanted to do the same.  For a while, I was just writing and writing, but that didn’t feel like quite enough.  And I didn’t necessarily have a huge interest in gaining mastery over some other medium.  I just wanted to make my own world and live in it.  So I was getting high with my friends one day—come on, it’s 2035 and you’re gonna look at me like I can’t say that?—I was stoned, alright, and I was wondering why there wasn’t yet any easy way to create your own environment in virtual reality.  And the applications that were out there just weren’t pushing it far enough.  I wanted to make my own world, and I wanted my friends to be able to hang out in it.  The market was ripe for a change.  So, anyway, that’s how the idea of Clubhouse was born.” (Habernick 2035)

Clubhouse was the disrupter that should have taken down the social media market, had the world not already been in the middle of The Great Purification.  Though it began humbly, Clubhouse scaled quickly, allowing users greater and greater freedom to build their own virtual space that their friends could enjoy with them.

Clubhouse eventually began to integrate all the features that the other social media giants had done before them.  Users could personalize their own “Bulletin Board” for view by anyone specified in their privacy settings.  “Walkie-Talkie” was added soon after launch as the native chat feature in the application.  Users could even host Virtual gatherings in each of their Clubhouses.

It wasn’t until 2037 that Clubhouse hit the mainstream with its AR integration, implemented into the second generation of Lucid Lenses.  Though the VR app was still popular, the AR implementation was much more useful day-to-day, leading to a surge in popularity similar to the one Facebook experienced when it expanded from desktop to mobile.

In addition to finding a comfortable home in the VR and AR market, Clubhouse made sure to avoid the downfall of its predecessors by brainstorming alternative streams of income to the sale of user data.  From the application’s launch, Habernick made sure to emphasize the importance they placed on the privacy of their users.  Instead of selling users’ information, Habernick set Clubhouse up with an eCommerce platform that allowed users to sell their own data, goods, and services.  By taking a small cut from each interaction, Clubhouse was able to sustain comfortable profits.  Though Clubhouse ads didn't start off quite as sophisticated as the social media companies of yesteryear, the surprisingly large amount of users that voluntarily sold their data allowed ad companies to attain approximately the same level of insight into their possible customer base, eventually netting Clubhouse notable ad revenue in addition to what they were gaining from eCommerce.

In 2054, at the time of this writing, Clubhouse remains the most profitable social media company on the market today.  Though it has grown over the years, its primary principles have remained the same, which has led to a user loyalty that was never present in the old, dead giants.

After proving there was a place for social media in the new era, it didn’t take long for other companies to follow in Clubhouse’s footsteps.  Many of these companies built their base on the new functionality allowed by AR technology.  For instance, Infrariend, est. 2024, when activated, allowed users to spot consenting Clubhouse friends from miles away through what resembled an infrared headset.  This technology came in handy for many AR games of the 21st century.

Another successful (though slightly more unnerving) company was Foot-Steps, founded in 2045.  Foot-Steps allows VR and AR users to sync up with their friends’ AR glasses, literally giving users the chance to walk in someone else’s shoes.  Oddly enough, even after the privacy scares of the ‘20s, consumers seemed to be willing once more to risk their privacy for the chance to try new technology.  Though there is no conclusive evidence that Foot-Steps is or isn’t spying on their users, it would appear that the trustworthy precedent set by Clubhouse has lulled users into a false sense of security when trying new applications.

As of 2054, no social media application has approached the current success of Clubhouse.  In fact, the social media market has remained relatively stagnant for the last decade or so.  The reputation of Clubhouse is certainly in better shape after 20 years than the giants’ had been.  For Clubhouse’s reign to be displaced in the future, it may be necessary for a disrupter in the tech market as a whole.  Just as AR replaced mobile, whatever the next step for mass human communication is will likely be the spot to see major competitors.

Until then, Clubhouse holds a proud monopoly over social media, and few seem to mind.  Habernick, in fact, has been guest teaching around a class a semester at UNI for the past five years or so.  If you ever happen to run into him on campus, you can feel proud that a fellow Okapi has changed the world.  We can only hope that the next disrupter comes from the same magical place.

Works Cited

Habernick, Nathan.  Personal Interview.  20 Feb 2035.

Hartford, Melanie.  A Generation of Socialites.  San Francisco, New History Press, 2045.

Husk, Rajit.  Hanging at the Clubhouse.  New Idaho, New Idaho UP, 2053.

Skaroff, Nicholas.  “Understanding the Social Crash.”  Journal of Social Media, vol. 12, no. 1, 2034, pp. 13-16.

[linabrigette]

Web 3.0 Will Evolve as Interoperability and Usability Improve

This interview has been edited and condensed.

Cointelegraph spoke recently with Dr. Jutta Steiner, the co-founder and CEO of Parity Technologies, about what originally drew her into the Ethereum (ETH) crowd and how she plans to bring more interoperability to blockchain.

During the recent TechCrunch Ethereum Meetup in Zug, Switzerland, Steiner detailed how her background in math and science ties into her work with blockchain, as well as how the new Polkadot protocol could help usher in the web 3.0 era.

Molly Jane: Could you begin by telling me a bit about yourself?

Jutta Steiner: My name is Jutta Steiner, I’m the CEO of Parity. I started this company three years ago together with Gavin Wood, who was one of the original co-founders of Ethereum. I myself used to work for the Ethereum Foundation, looking after security before the launch of the Ethereum platform.

Before that I had a background in applied maths, so I spent quite some time at uni, moved a bit in consulting after my PhD, and then got more and more interested, basically at around the time of the Snowden revelations — interested in what’s actually happening online, what’s happening to our data? How does this all work?

And I ended up reading a lot, accidentally came across Maidsafe, which was an early project in that space as well, and then saw people discussing Ethereum in that context about four years ago, how to use it for access management of data. And then I met the Ethereum people, this is how I got involved basically.

MJ: So it all started with Ethereum for you?

JS: I mean, yeah, I had read about Bitcoin and it was interesting to me from a math perspective. But I only realized the potential when I came across these discussions of what can you actually do with Ethereum. I really liked this level of abstraction.

MJ: Can you tell us a bit about your relationship with Ethereum?

JS: Back at the time, I got interested in what can you actually do with it. This whole data perspective was interesting, but then also around the same time I met Jessi Baker, who was just starting a company called Provenance, where she looked at trying to create a Facebook for products, like bringing transparency to supply chains. That was sort of the idea — like, what’s the history, what are the people, processes behind products, etc.

I ended up working for the Ethereum Foundation on security. But then, when working on problems, I was realizing that really the technology isn’t there yet where it needs to be in order to become mainstream, and so out of that frustration Parity came out do as a company.

But we wanted to further work on the fundamental technologies and push that forward, which kind of nicely ties back to my math and science background. So being able to push technology on that end is pretty good fun.

You can watch the interview here:

MJ: So what exactly is Parity? How is it connected to the new Polkadot protocol?

JS: We started Parity by basically taking all the learnings from the early days of Ethereum and coming up with a new implementation.

Initially, the ideas evolved a lot around just pure interoperability. A few years ago, the discussions about private chains and public chains started so it seemed sensible, and it also seemed sensible as a way of optimizing scalability.

But then over time, things like governance became also more of an issue, and we really started thinking about what is the next level of abstraction that we need to bring to this technology in order to make it much more genuine, much more easy to adapt to solve all these issues.

What we’re doing at Parity is coming up with a fundamentally new way of building online services. The way how the web has evolved and applications on the web — everything we do, every service we use, we always have to rely on centralized servers, where all our data is hosted, where there’s like an authority that decides on how does the service work, what happens if there’s contention.

And what we’re trying to build is basically a system where there’s much more agency on the user side, where there’s less of the divide between service provider and the people that use the services. So that it really becomes a much more open, a much more peer-to-peer way of interacting with each other where we don’t have to go through Facebook, through Google buttons that have seamless interacting with our friends or whoever we want to interact with.

That’s what we call web 3.0, the next level of the web.

And that’s where Polkadot, or the technologies around Polkadot, sits right now. Substrate is a technology that we just released in a PoC [Proof of Concept] state in a test net, it’s a very general framework for spinning up your own state machine.

MJ: How long do you think it would take before we actually would enter the web 3.0 era?

JS: So are aiming to release Polkadot at the end of next year. Now that doesn’t mean we’ll already see applications, I think that’s going to be a gradual process. I mean, there are things you can use already to make your applications more decentralized, more peer-to-peer, there are some solutions for having interoperability, like cross-chain transactions.

I hope that over the next few years we’re going to see the first implementations, applications that fundamentally use this. A lot of what we have to solve evolves around usability and user experience, and this will probably still take a bit. Also, there is sometimes an advantage from having systems a little bit centralized, because you can have a massive efficiency gain in certain cases, and we still haven’t found out where we have to make these trade-offs.

MJ: What would you say to someone that says: “I don’t know what you’re talking about with this web 3.0, I like using Facebook, it’s familiar, I don’t care if they take my data”?

JS: It’s hard if people don’t see what the underlying mechanisms are that make systems like Facebook really not the perfect systems to interact with. But I guess the recent revelations around Cambridge Analytica in particular have shown the government how powerful these platforms have become, which the hearings have shown.

There is a spotlight now on all the services to come up with answers, because governments fear the interference that comes through these services. I believe we’re gonna see regulation that will play in favor of decentralization to a certain extent. We’ve seen Europe already with GDPR, so there’s a directive on data protection. Although there are some questions around, like how this would work exactly with blockchain. I believe on the political side a there is a lot of will of making sure we don’t give power to governments that are completely unregulated.

MJ: I know some blockchain companies have experienced problems with the GDPR because of the “right to be forgotten” clause, since the whole point of a blockchain is that nothing is ever forgotten. How do you see that contradiction playing out?

JS: I hope that we see clarification from regulators and from lawmakers over the next couple of years. In principle, I see that the people that believe in blockchain technology and the people that were behind the GDPR have a huge set of common goals, basically giving power back to to the users. And it’s unfortunate that the drafting of the GDPR came just before blockchain became a thing, and so became way too specific in the way it was drafted.

I mean, politics can be slower, but I would hope that people will recognize the potential of the technology, and therefore, I don’t know, create sandboxes, or actually find a way of just leading to more clarification.

MJ: Could you name an example of a country with a regulatory framework where they’re doing everything right? Does that exist yet?

JS:  Where they’re doing everything right?

MJ: Ok, most things right!

JS: Switzerland was interesting because small countries have it easy, right? Or easier because they’ve always struggled with retaining, maintaining relevance and so they had to be more agile and adapt to changes in the environment much more quickly.

I think we’re gonna see a lot of regulatory innovation or regulatory competition between countries, which helps entrepreneurs to a certain extent, but then only so much as this is all global. This is technology that we’re building for the entire web. I’m not sure whether I’ve seen anybody who does everything right, but it’s quite good that people are mobile these days and they just move around wherever they can build their business, it has to add to regulatory competition.

MJ: I saw you retweeted the other day a meme about women in crypto, where the media is shouting “Where are the women in crypto?” and there’s a woman shouting back, “I’m right here!” How many times do you get asked about what’s it like being a woman in crypto?

JS: I get asked frequently my perspective on this and what needs to be done, and then, I guess, my frustration with that topic comes a lot from…often those discussions are very nuanced, but then in the end all that gets printed is like just a complaint, like there aren’t that many, or like the main topic of the article is that there are only Lambos, and I don’t think it’s helpful.

I believe it’s more helpful to just talk about the work that people do.

I don’t find it inspiring if I see people just driving their Lambos either, it wouldn’t have been the reason why I would have come and work in crypto, but instead seeing people that just work in the space and becoming interested in the topics.

That’s what I believe should be talked about.

MJ: Parity experienced a problem with the freezure of wallets containing Ethereum back in November 2017. In April, the frozen wallets became a news topic again due to an Ethereum proposal to reverse the hack that did not end up getting passed.  

Is “unfreezing” the wallets something that Parity are still thinking about?

JS: There are a lot of efforts within Ethereum to come up with answers, like how to fix the issue of governance in general. And the reason why governance is an important thing is because if you have an answer to this, it’s easier to come up with ways where you decide on contentious issues, like whether you want to have a fork or to unfreeze the funds.

And I believe this is a fundamentally needed debate, because we haven’t figured this out yet, how do we actually want to govern decentralized systems, and that’s what we are trying to work out with the community.

I do believe if you want to encourage innovation in space, you need to make sure you don’t discourage experimentation. Like the optimization that led to the freeze was a very sensible optimization back at the time.

And the truth is the tools that we need in order to write smart contracts, safe smart contracts, aren’t there yet. And the wallet freeze wasn’t the only issue that happened where people lost access to their funds. There were other issues, and I still hope that we find a solution where bugs in infrastructure that led to people losing access will be fixed in an adequate way.

MJ: Are you personally involved in the cryptocurrency market? Do you trade, do you hold, do you care?

JS: I wish I was, I don’t have time for that!  Between looking after the company and looking after the family there’s very little time to be personally involved.

MJ: Thanks for taking the time to speak with us!

JS: Thanks.

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[chereche]

Rambling Frustrations

So I applied for my current programme in 2013ish (boy has my perception of time faded). Fun fact, this was around the time where my life was basically going to hell in a hand basket anyway and I figured, hey, go back to school, that’d give you something healthy to stress about. Yes, that was my literal reasoning. So I did. Programme ended up being delayed for a year, but by that time, I was actually firmly in hell so it was exactly the right kind of stress I needed to tack on. Can’t worry about the flames around you if you have an assignment due right? And yeah, surprisingly, it actually helped, a lot. Joggling students who seemed intent on putting me into a mental institute with a challenging programme seemed just perfect. 

And then, it all became a bit too much to handle, and, after a discussion with my parents (primarily my mother), I put in my notice and decided to just focus on being a student and to get myself back in order mentally and emotionally before I attempted anything else. I think that’s why now I’ve reached the point of absolute frustration with student life. Mentally and emotionally I’ll say I’m pretty much back, if not better in some respects than where I had been before. Stopped self-harming completely for at least 3 years now (and even before then it was sporadic at best), stopped drinking outside of social situations, started to actual open up to people and admit when I wasn’t feeling okay etc etc. Yeah, I’m pretty much fine in that regard. 

I pretty much didn’t give much/if any thoughts of working for most of 2016. Around April I picked up a seasonal gig at my Uni for exam marking, mostly because I knew that it’d look damn good to any future school I applied to, but I really didn’t actually, seriously give any real thought to working again until August-ish that year. I applied to a good few places, not taking the entire thing too seriously because a) Having worked in initially amusing but overall actually questionable places twice now I really didn’t want that again and b) I’m in a privileged enough position to have parents who are fine with me just being home with them until I find the right if not perfect fit.

I applied to a variety of places, some for fun, some just because and others because I was actually interested in them. I rejected two offers (one place was sketchy af, and during the interview for the second the principal didn’t even take a look at my CV far less the rest of my documents and quarrelled with a child who barrelled into the office for help since a next child had been put in a dustbin) and just didn’t hear back from a few others (although in hindsight I realised I was way overqualified for them to even want me even though I literally would not have minded being underemployed since all of those places would have had me less than 10 minutes from home). 

I also declined two interviews because I suppose I was lucky in my last job to have been part-time during DAY hours. One wanted me to work evenings (and was not located anywhere near a main road), the other on Sundays only (the cost of transport would have nearly equaled the pay rate so it was pointless. And I couldn’t feasibly convince myself to do it for the experience since I have nearly 3 years official teaching experience now and over five if I go back and include volunteer work etc). 

In the midst of it all I ended up finding a sketchy looking but still intriguing enough ad that I applied for, and, wouldn’t you know, it’s a veritable gold mine. Only issue? I’m a fucking student. They called again today (literally three months since my interview and five months since they posted the ad) to see if I was still interested, and minus the profound stress I know the job will be, I’m as much intrigued by it now as I was then. Except, the hours for this job are ridiculous and late (although if work ends past 7pm they arrange transport!), and there are two critical days per week that require an all hands on deck approach. And guess what? One of those two days is when I have class. 

So you can understand my extreme frustration here. I won’t act like if I’ve been twiddling my thumbs waiting to hear from them since November. I’ve still been applying to places as they’ve come up (although the application period is still far enough away that I probably wouldn’t know if I’m in the running for any of the positions until late March at least), and I actually applied to a place that matches exactly with what I’m studying, but the fact that I may not be given a job offer for the place I really want to work because of a single class is extremely off-putting and frankly, annoying. Like my mom literally asked me if I couldn’t just put off the course, but that’s problematic because there are people in the programme now from the 2011-2012 cycle so there is no guarantee that if I chose to withdraw for the semester that it won’t be 2 or 3 years before it’s offered again.

Plus the position is definitely short term - six months if I recall - so in the long term I know it’s better to just make the sacrifice and finish off the programme (2 more months for this semester and then the teaching practicum) and in the meanwhile just keep looking. I know that’s the more feasible option. I know it’s the safest option. I know that’s the option that’s not going to have me in a workplace where there’s no fix departure time (overnighting is actually not that uncommon a thing). And I know that it’s not the end of the world by any means if I don’t get it. There’ll always be more job openings, I actually don’t NEED to work although I’m restless enough now that I WANT to, and even if those other jobs aren’t as rewarding, I’d do my best at them. 

It’s just frustrating that I may not have the choice to say I don’t want this job because of the above reasons but rather I can’t have this job because I have to be in a fucking classroom for three hours out of the week on the day the job will need me the most this semester, and that since the universe apparently is cruel, the six hours I need to put in next semester for my practical work would probably interfere with that as well. 

All I know is that I am definitely not going to upgrade to a full Masters especially in this field because people who go that distance mostly have the intentions of becoming an academic more than a practitioner and that’s definitely not what I’m after. I’m fed up, frustrated and just done. Besides, in five year I’ll probably have no choice but to do post graduate studies in education, so how about I enjoy the rest of my 20s in peace and leave that worry for then?

[franticatatlantic-blog]

My UWC Journey

Compared to some of my co years, my UWC Journey had been a bit unorthodox. For a start I didn't discover UWC through family and friends, or through an activity or short course. I found UWC through Google, out of sheer boredom. It was the summer before year 11, and I had to start thinking about further education. My most obvious choice after GCSEs was to stay at my school's sixth form, like all my friends. But part of my wanted to be different; I didn't want to be like everyone else. I'd spent my whole life wanting to travel and explore other cultures, and had spent my whole life being told "you can do that when you're older!" by adults. But I wanted to see if there was something I could do, like an exchange program. Instead I found UWC. And was immediately hooked. It looked like the perfect thing for me; I eagerly and painstakingly filled out the application, begged for references and basically planned my future. One small issue however: my parents absolutely hated it. Not the actual idea of UWC, just the idea of my leaving two years earlier than they expected to go to UWC (at the time I didn't fully understand why, but now I do). Still, they let me apply because "we don't want you to say we don't let you chase opportunities". So in October 2016 I sent in my application. Yes you read that right, October 2016. And I waited and waited with everyone else. And I didn't get an interview. For a day or so I was crushed, but I brushed myself off and moved on, because I had GCSEs to focus on. Fast forward to summer 2017, and a small email appears in my inbox telling me UWC applications have opened. I'd put the idea of me attending to rest up to that point, but that email forced it to make a resurgence. I'd been rejected before, so what was the harm in applying again? So the same process occurred; I wrote my application, begged the same teachers for references and focused on my A levels with this on the side. The key difference this time was my parents no longer hated the idea of me attending UWC. In that year they'd opened up a lot more to the idea of me going; I'd be leaving in a year anyway for uni, and I'd matured a lot since last year. They could see I was serious, and wasn't going to drop it, so more willingly they let me apply. So October 2017 rolls round and my application is sent in. And then the waiting began again. Around the end of November emails were sent out; people were told they got an interview, people were told they didn't. But some people (including me!) were basically put on a waiting list. The NC was considering holding more interviews in January or February, and I'd been put on this list. I was in shock, one year ago I'd been crying because I didn't get an interview, and now I had a chance. The days move on and December rocks up. Interviews are the second week. However, during the first I got another email from the NC. They had reviewed their numbers, and there was a space on the 14th if I wanted it! I got this on the 7th, so cue some frantic phone calls, hotel booking and pleading with school to get time off. So next week on a cold wet night (so cold there was a snow warning and I almost wasn't allowed to go) my dad and I drove over 200 miles down to Atlantic College in Wales for my interview. I won't go into too much detail as this post is already long and interviews deserve a separate post, but all I can say is it was amazing. So after interviews and college choice forms had been filled in, there was yet another round of waiting. It was a little better as we had applicant group chats, so we stressed out together. Finally two months later in the middle of February, people started receiving emails. Traditionally people got physical letters in the post and we were all expecting that, so it was a bit of a shock and more nerve wracking to learn it was coming by email. And they sent them out randomly; people were finding out they didn't get in or they got a college at the same time, which added to the stress of it. Eventually my email came. I braced myself for the truth, I hadn't got into a UWC but it was an achievement to get this far, right? I opened it, and it turned out I got an offer for Atlantic College!!! Over the last six months it's been very surreal; for a while we weren't sure if I could attend due to the cost (shout out to AC for 10% bursary and for the universe for deciding my dad should get a promotion) and it's been a bit demeaning putting so much work into this year of A level, knowing I won't use it (bye bye geography controlled assessment). But now with only five days to go, it's finally sinking in. Guess it's time to finish packing; I've got a new adventure ahead of me. Next stop, Wales!

[franticatatlantic-blog]

My UWC Journey

Compared to some of my co years, my UWC Journey had been a bit unorthodox. For a start I didn't discover UWC through family and friends, or through an activity or short course. I found UWC through Google, out of sheer boredom. It was the summer before year 11, and I had to start thinking about further education. My most obvious choice after GCSEs was to stay at my school's sixth form, like all my friends. But part of my wanted to be different; I didn't want to be like everyone else. I'd spent my whole life wanting to travel and explore other cultures, and had spent my whole life being told "you can do that when you're older!" by adults. But I wanted to see if there was something I could do, like an exchange program. Instead I found UWC. And was immediately hooked. It looked like the perfect thing for me; I eagerly and painstakingly filled out the application, begged for references and basically planned my future. One small issue however: my parents absolutely hated it. Not the actual idea of UWC, just the idea of my leaving two years earlier than they expected to go to UWC (at the time I didn't fully understand why, but now I do). Still, they let me apply because "we don't want you to say we don't let you chase opportunities". So in October 2016 I sent in my application. Yes you read that right, October 2016. And I waited and waited with everyone else. And I didn't get an interview. For a day or so I was crushed, but I brushed myself off and moved on, because I had GCSEs to focus on. Fast forward to summer 2017, and a small email appears in my inbox telling me UWC applications have opened. I'd put the idea of me attending to rest up to that point, but that email forced it to make a resurgence. I'd been rejected before, so what was the harm in applying again? So the same process occurred; I wrote my application, begged the same teachers for references and focused on my A levels with this on the side. The key difference this time was my parents no longer hated the idea of me attending UWC. In that year they'd opened up a lot more to the idea of me going; I'd be leaving in a year anyway for uni, and I'd matured a lot since last year. They could see I was serious, and wasn't going to drop it, so more willingly they let me apply. So October 2017 rolls round and my application is sent in. And then the waiting began again. Around the end of November emails were sent out; people were told they got an interview, people were told they didn't. But some people (including me!) were basically put on a waiting list. The NC was considering holding more interviews in January or February, and I'd been put on this list. I was in shock, one year ago I'd been crying because I didn't get an interview, and now I had a chance. The days move on and December rocks up. Interviews are the second week. However, during the first I got another email from the NC. They had reviewed their numbers, and there was a space on the 14th if I wanted it! I got this on the 7th, so cue some frantic phone calls, hotel booking and pleading with school to get time off. So next week on a cold wet night (so cold there was a snow warning and I almost wasn't allowed to go) my dad and I drove over 200 miles down to Atlantic College in Wales for my interview. I won't go into too much detail as this post is already long and interviews deserve a separate post, but all I can say is it was amazing. So after interviews and college choice forms had been filled in, there was yet another round of waiting. It was a little better as we had applicant group chats, so we stressed out together. Finally two months later in the middle of February, people started receiving emails. Traditionally people got physical letters in the post and we were all expecting that, so it was a bit of a shock and more nerve wracking to learn it was coming by email. And they sent them out randomly; people were finding out they didn't get in or they got a college at the same time, which added to the stress of it. Eventually my email came. I braced myself for the truth, I hadn't got into a UWC but it was an achievement to get this far, right? I opened it, and it turned out I got an offer for Atlantic College!!! Over the last six months it's been very surreal; for a while we weren't sure if I could attend due to the cost (shout out to AC for 10% bursary and for the universe for deciding my dad should get a promotion) and it's been a bit demeaning putting so much work into this year of A level, knowing I won't use it (bye bye geography controlled assessment). But now with only five days to go, it's finally sinking in. Guess it's time to finish packing; I've got a new adventure ahead of me. Next stop, Wales!