#and my whole problem is that i actually really only feel friendship for this guy after all

[thesmokinpossum]

also tomorrow i need to tell some really nice dude i went on a couple of date with that it's just not gonna work out and not trying to be dramatic or anything but the stress of it kinda makes me feel like a piece of charcoal in a burning bbq

[thisisutl]

The real dog that inspired Ghost Trick's "Missile".

As many people on Tumblr have already pointed out, Ghost Trick is a game that is best experienced going in fully-blind. It offers amazing puzzle-based gameplay, a charming cast of characters and a unique story with plenty of twists and turns that will leave you both stunned and fulfilled by the end. My one true regret with the game is that I can't experience it for the first time again.

So, in trying to hype up the game for its release on Steam, Switch, Playstation and XBox, I decided to go for a novel approach: Instead of gushing about the game and potentially spoiling it for you, I will instead offer some facts about the real-life dog that inspired one of the game's most memorable characters. Knowing those facts won't spoil the game for you and will in fact make you appreciate its story a whole lot more, so feel free to reblog away, adding any facts that I might have missed about the game's Charismatic Cheerful Capable Caring Canine.

You know… This adorable little guy: 

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Missile Takumi!

Missile was a pomeranian Puppy adopted by Shu Takumi on 2007. He was named after a dog appearing in Gyakuten Saiban 1 (aka Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 1). The dog in the original game was a throwaway gag, not essential in the overall game’s story. The real-life  little pomeranian however proved to be an essential part of Shu Takumi’s life.

(Source)

(More facts after the break)

Missile was Shu Takumi’s best friend. The little doggie was always there for him, always available to lift his spirits with a cheerful bark when he was feeling down and always offering a friendly paw even in the gloomiest of circumstances. Missile was a truly loyal friend, offering unconditional love and friendship, helping Shu Takumi get over even the most difficult of times.

(Source)

So when time came to make Ghost Trick, a game about ghosts, regrets, mystery, loyalty, friendship and ultimate redemption, it was perfectly natural for Shu Takumi to give his best little friend a part in the story.

The game’s developers didn’t initially want to put Missile in the game. They didn’t have a problem with putting a dog as a character, they had a problem with the fact that the dog was a Pomeranian and they would have problems animating his fur in-game. Shu Takumi however insisted and eventually, after meeting the little doggie and falling under its charm, the developers relented into putting him in the game in all his Pomeranian glory.

(Image from lparchive)

Not only did they put him in the game, in fact, they went above and beyond in capturing his charm perfectly. They studied his moves and mannerisms, in order to get his movements down pat.

(Image from lparchive)

Missile’s iconic in-game bark was actually a recording of sound-designer’s Nobuyuki Shimizu Labrador Retriever who was coincidentally also named Missile! Shu Takumi wanted to record his own Missile, but Shimizu-san also wanted to put a part of his own dog in the game and Takumi eventually relented.

So, yeah, Missile in the game was voiced by Missile. Just not THE Missile.

In order to make up for not recording his own dog for the game Shu Takumi made a “character song” for Ghost Trick’s Missile:. 

Yes, those barks you hear in the song are recordings of THE Missile, no substitutes this time! This is how the little Pomeranian used to bark!

The song was made to celebrate Ghost Trick’s 3rd year release anniversary and even though the song talks about Ghost Trick’s Missile, a lot of the behaviors mentioned in the lyrics (such as Missile’s tendency to climb on the sofa and then needing help to get back down) are things that Takumi’s pomeranian friend used to do.

The song was later remade by CAP-JAMS and included in the soundtrack of the 2023 remaster of the game.

And, yes, the original Missile’s barks are still there.

If it’s not perfectly clear, Shu Takumi really wanted to tell everyone how awesome his little dog was. He made the little dog an essential part of Ghost Trick and stealthily  made the world, at least that small part of it that played Ghost Trick, fall in love with him.

Ghost Trick was released under critical acclaim, even receiving a nomination for Gamespot’s Best 2011 Puzzle Game, but the fact that it was released near the end of the DS’s lifespan and a lackluster advertising campaign made it 2011’s “Best Game You’ve Never Played”.

The game, however, slowly gained a cult following and within that following, the story of Missile resonated with everyone and became one of its standout points. He might not have been the player-character but he was definitely the show-stealer.

(To tell any more would be going into spoiler territory, but seriously go buy and play Ghost Trick any way you can. It really deserves a bigger audience).

So beloved was the little dog in fact that when Ace Attorney was eventually adapted into an anime, the animators couldn’t resist putting him into episodes 13 and 30 of the first and second season respectively. In fact, in the anime Missile was indirectly responsible for the “class trial” incident that shaped Naruhodo/Wright’s life.

Before you ask, no, Missile was not voicing himself this time (something about working with animals and children). He was voiced by Tomokazu Seki in the Japanese version and by Kyle Hebert in the English dub. Still a nice tribute to Takumi’s little doggie.

One final Missile fact that I can’t find a proper segway for is that Missile also got along surprisingly well with Wagahai and Sankichii, the cats that later also entered the Takumi household, though, the way Takumi tells this, it was the cats that called the shots more often than not. 

Missile passed away on the 10th of November 2018. The way Shu Takumi puts it, the valiant little doggie waited for him to return from the US, to spend some final time with him before passing on. We don’t know the exact details just that it was sudden and unexpected.

(Source)

Missile is no longer with us, but his memory lives on. He will always be remembered by Shu Takumi as the friend that always was by his side… and always will be with him.

…and he will always be remembered by the gaming community as the little Pomeranian that stole everybody’s hearts and made Ghost Trick a truly memorable experience.

MISSAIRU TONDEKE! 

(Missile’s Launched!)

[m4nj1r0s]

hii I just wanted to ask if you could do general headcannons for Manjiro sano/Mikey if that's alright, also I hope you had a good holiday! :)

Manjiro Sano general relationship headcannons

Note: AHH THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST 🤭🤭

And I hope you had a good holiday too! <33

I went a little off-track, mb 😭

- He didn’t really have any interest in girls, until him and Emma were just going back and forth with insults and she said that he gets no girls. It made him stop and actually think. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d liked a girl or a girl liked him back.

- So naturally he decided to give the whole relationship thing a go. The only problem was to find someone willing to be his girlfriend.

- He went to school to try and find a girl who might like him, he didn’t have any specific girl he liked so he was open to anyone. You sat next him in a couple of classes, but since he never never came, he didn’t know. You guys got to talking and he quickly found himself enjoying your little daily talks!

- It progressed and it wasn’t until Draken noticed him getting visibly happy whenever someone mentioned your name that he liked you. Mikey honestly didn’t think it was a big deal until Mitsuya pointed out that you might only see him as a friend. That’s when he got a little panicked.

- This was the first (and would be the only) time he’d ever liked a girl. We all know if you’re friends with Mikey that it will last literal TIMELINES because he’s incredibly loyal and expects others to be as well. That’s why he expected your guys’ current friendship to last that long too.

- He realized that confessing could ruin that if you didn’t like him back and if you did you two could end up breaking up since he didn’t know much about relationships anyway.

- So for a couple of months he just lived with his giant crush on you.

- I don’t think he’d be scared of introducing you to Toman since he knows he’s literally ‘The Invincible Mikey’ (or was it unbeatable I can’t remember). He could just protect you if anything were to happen! And he expected every Toman member to do the same.

- Everyone in Toman knows Mikey likes you. In fact, you seem to be the only one who hasn’t noticed.

- When Takemichi found out that Mikey liked you, he was ready to help his friend out. So he gave Mikey advice that he got from Hina. He told Mikey to be a gentleman and to be straight up with his feelings.

- You and Emma happened to be good friends and you’d even been to her house a couple times. You’d never met Mikey there though, you only knew that Emma had a brother and a grandpa. But you’d met her Grandpa and he was a nice old man.

- Mikey happened to be home but he ignored the fact Emma had someone over since he didn’t know any of them. But then he went into Emma’s room to tell her something and he froze when you’d said hi to him.

- HOW WERE YOU IN HIS HOUSE? IN HIS SISTER’S ROOM? WHEN DID YOU GUYS EVEN MEET?-

- Emma was surprised that you and Mikey knew each other, but brushed it off since she didn’t have to introduce Mikey.

- But then Mikey was visibly getting happy when talking to you, and Emma could swear she saw him blushing..

- That’s how Emma found out he had a massive crush on you, and she was a little mad because you and her had been friends longer than you’d known Mikey. She was sure that her brother’s feelings weren’t genuine. She didn’t want Mikey to ever confess, in case the relationship didn’t work out and you stopped being friends with her because it was awkward.

- But when she noticed his feelings were actually genuine she was hell-bent on getting him to confess.

- So he finally relented. But before he did anything, he begged Emma to ask you if you liked him, even just a bit.

- So she called you the next day and asked. You didn’t want to tell Emma that you liked her BROTHER so you avoided the question. But then she said she didn’t mind if you liked her brother and that she would be your wingwoman if you did. That’s when you finally confessed to her that you’d liked Mikey for a couple weeks now.

- She had to cover Mikey’s mouth to stop him from confessing right then and there over the phone.

- So after he found out he was happy but a little confused. Why would you like him of all people? But on the surface he was telling his friends things like “Of course she likes me, I’m the strongest!” (it’s giving gojo)

- Planned a wholeeeee thing to ‘indirectly’ confess to you. He didn’t want to do all the work in your guys’ obvious upcoming relationship. So Draken and Mitsuya planned something to help. (Mikey just sat there eating dorayaki and rambling on ab all the cute things he wants to do once you inevitably become his gf)

- The plan was that Emma would ask you to walk home with her, so then after school you’d wait until she came out to go. But Emma would take a while to leave you waiting. Then a short distance away from you, Mikey would talk to his friends with a loud ass voice. Then he’d be all like “Yeah, Y/N is really pretty, I would love to go out with her.”

- And then you’d be all like “omg!!! mikey, you’re the love of my life!!! <3”

- But he happened to be daydreaming the last part.. Although, his plan was bound to elicit SOMETHING!

- Little did they know Emma was a double agent and had told you her brother loves you and that you should confess. At first, you would’ve been like ‘no way!’. But Emma spent ages convincing you and managed to get you to do it on the same day Mikey was supposed to.

- So on the day he was going to indirectly confess, Emma got you to go outside right after school and ask to speak with him privately.

- He was caught a little off guard but went w/ you.

- To cut this short you guys kissed and are a couple now, yay!

- Now onto the actual relationship headcannons, I’m sorry the bit before was a lot longer than I expected 😭

- His friends gag whenever you guys kiss near them.

- “Jeez, get a room!”

- “Stop swapping spit and pay attention, Mikey you dumbass!”

- “It looks like he’s eating her, wtf??”

- “Y/N, are you okay?!! My brother is disgusting!!”

- guess who says each of those lol

- Will lick your cheek but gets shocked if you do it back.

- You’re the only person he shares his snacks with, and even then you barely get any 😔

- He loves taking you out on late-night motorcycle rides where you scream because he’s going way too fast.

- He doesn’t wear a helmet, but expects you to wear one for your safety.

- “Aren’t you gonna wear a helmet, Manjiro?”

- “Nope, I’m good.”

- Likes it when you call him by his actual name, since it’s been a while since anyone has. (he acts like he doesn’t tell everyone to call him mikey)

- One time, you wanted to have a cute date where you two read books w/ each other but he ended up falling asleep 10 minutes in.

- Took you out to eat after though, partly bc he gets hungry after waking up.

- But right after he ate, he fell asleep again and you had to call Draken to come help you lift Mikey 😭😭

- His sleeping and then eating thing is a vicious cycle

- Draken sees you as a sister, and if anyone were to be his wingwoman or wingman with Emma it would be you.

- You edge along their relationship by saying things to them like

- “Emma, Draken was asking about you!”

- “Guess what, Draken? Emma asked about you!”

- Mikey gets huffy though.

- Likes when you kiss him w/ lipstick on because it leaves a stain on his lips.

- You did face masks with him once and put cucumbers over his eyes but then he ate them 😒

- Loves eating things with you. Mf will show up at your door with bags of food from some new restaurant he found asking to try it with you.

- The first time you baked smth for him, he didn’t leave your side for a week.

- He’s actually very sweet when he wants to be, but it’s only when you two are alone. He likes to hold your hand whilst you’re watching something or reading. It makes him comfortable.

- You probably have to do his hair in the morning like Draken does 😭😭

- Draken appreciates it tho

- Even though Toman knows about you, you wouldn’t have to worry about other gangs getting to you because Mikey simply won’t let it happen. He’s already taken care of that by having Sanzu watch you as well! :)

- Sanzu did NOT like you at first but he grew to tolerate you then after a while he sort of liked you.

- When you and Mikey were first dating, he probably gave you the nastiest stink eyes. He also tripped you up once but no one suspected him..

- He’s very loyal, I don’t see him cheating or breaking up with you. Especially because he really loves you and can’t imagine his life without you now.

- Blanket hogger. Will literally tear it off of you whilst he’s sleeping and lay down on top of it. (sometimes he fakes being asleep to do this to you bc he likes pissing you off 😭😭)

- If you guys have an argument, I don’t think he’s the type of guy to say ‘sorry’ but he’ll do things to show you he’s sorry. He’ll you your favorite food, buys you a plushie or just hug you quietly.

- He will only say sorry if it was a serious argument, and if he was really in the wrong. But luckily you guys don’t really argue. Anytime Mikey feels an argument coming on, he’ll discreetly diffuse it by catching you off-guard with a kiss or something. (i can’t tell if that’s a little toxic or not)

[pupyuj]

7th member and g!p wonyoung where rumors run around a lot that you and wonyoung don't get along well because you really can't look each in the eye and doesn't interact that much but in reality, you can't look at her in the eye because you're too shy after she fucked your brains out last night and you won't interact that much on cam because wony know that she'll just end up getting a boner and might just consider bending you over right there and then 🥰🥰🥰

sndbdjcncdk i love getting g!p wony asks it's my favorite thing 😩😩😩 it's so obvious that i got way too into this i'm sorry i'm an ive girl through and through .

ya'll know i love giving these things a little backstory and some build-up so... it was just supposed to be a cute little hook-up between you and your favorite dorm mate 😳 the two of you have just come home from a party, giggling and whispering flirty things to each other while you stumbled inside your shared dorm... hands touching and groping anywhere and passing it off as a joke but the next thing you knew you were making out on the couch with wony on top 😵‍💫 she was grinding and humping, needing relief for her cock bcs she has stared at you all night and wanted nothing more but to fuck you, not at all giving a damn about the consequences 🫣 needless to say, you absolutely did get fucked very good, too good maybe, on that couch (and in her bed right after)! you fell asleep in peace thinking that everything will be fine the next morning.. but oh, no they weren't 😬

suddenly you couldn't talk to each other like normal friends 😭 only a few words were shared between the two of you since that night, and you only looked at each other when it was absolutely necessary 😭😭 ofc the fans would notice it very quickly bcs all of your habits around each other have changed :( you used to sit very close to each other all the time, but now you're on opposite sides when the group is doing a live or smth 💔 on top of all that, you stopped talking about each other on fancafes, bubble, etc... it was a bit heartbreaking actually, it was like witnessing a friendship breakup in real time 😭😭 no selfies tgt, no random moments of each other on your individual instas, no reports of a 2 am convenience store run... oh, the (y/n) x wonyoung shippers were in the trenches during this time 😩 (annyeongz shooters can relate—)

and then it gets to a point where it was blown out of proportion online 😬 articles being made, think pieces being written about the current state of your friendship... there was a viral clip of you seemingly side-eyeing wonyoung and acting like a bitch behind her back... which your fans fought everybody to hell for bcs they knew you loved her more than anything 🥹🥹

it was yujin who took notice of this.. thing between you guys ofc and cornered the two of you one day, telling you to get your act together and sort your problems out bcs it was affecting the group dynamic too 💔 apparently jiwon was feeling guilty bcs it was now her that you took to those midnight strolls, and rei always felt like she was 'homewrecking' whenever wonyoung was affectionate with her and not you 😭😭😭 coming home after getting scolded by your leader, the two of you sitting on that very same couch where you fucked, awkward and silent...

"i miss you." it was her that broke the silence. that was really all it took for you to jump in her arms and hug her tightly :(( wony was your best friend, the one who knows all your secrets, the one who remembers every single funny moment in your childhood and reminds you of it to cheer you up, the one who always wiped your tears away when you cried — it hurt to not get along with her 💔💔 "we don't have to make that whole thing be such a bad thing... we can just laugh about it, and... and—" wonyoung looks at you, at your soft smile while you cupped her cheeks in your hands, at your lips (she remembers hoe you kissed her that night), at your body and the way you looked like you belong right on her lap... "and we can just do it again.. and again... over and over..." she says boldly. well that certainly caught you off guard, but who were you to say no?

the two of you were really just supposed to talk, but now wony has you bent over the couch, her hips slapping against your ass while her dick slammed deeper and deeper by the second inside you... your cunt fit perfectly around her cock, it was an almost hypnotizing feeling fucking you 😵‍💫 wony thrusting faster, getting bursts of energy every time you moaned her name... then she's right up in your ear, "w-we... we won't need to leave the dorm when we're bored anymore... we can just fuck.. all the time... does that sound appealing enough, baby?" she was asking.

you nodded, "yes, y-yes, wonyoung... ahh.. mhmm..! i'll always be ready for you... just say the word.. or better yet, just f-fucking... shitshit... just grab me and fuck me... i love your cock.. i love it..." you were convinced that there wasn't a better feeling in the world that getting fucked by your gorgeous best friend, and there really wasn't!

shdbfjfksf wony turning you around so she could look at your face while she pounded into you :((( you were so pretty to her, she will never regret fucking you that night 🤤🤤 deliberately clenching around her cock, smiling at the way it only made her pound you faster — you can't get enough of each other 😵‍💫 kissing as you both came, feeling absolutely at bliss while her cum filled up your cunt... she definitely breeded you all night, she had to make up for lost time! 😉 filled you up on her bed, the showers, on her bed again after showering, even when you slept she was fucking into you... just dumping all of her seed in you bcs she missed you so muchhh :((( and yeah you get your revenge bcs when wony woke up the next morning and she looked down, you winked at her with her cock deep down your throat... and then you rode her until she was a drooling, babbling mess...

sorry did i mention that you guys are just fucking insane? right after that, you were cockwarming her while the two of you had breakfast, then wony was feeling you up impatiently while you washed the dishes, then you were fucking on the couch again while the morning news was on... and you ended up getting ten missed calls from yujin that entire morning bcs wony got very, very busy spilling every drop of her cum inside your pussy AND YET....... it was never enough 🥵🥵🥵

did you ever get off her cock that whole day? probably not... but hey, it did wonders for your friendship!

fans now see that the two of you were closer than ever! back to being jokey around each other, wony now always had an arm wrapped around your waist and you were always combing her hair with your fingers bcs you knew it eased her, and ofc you grew more affectionate towards each other! maybe a bit too much.. but it was wayyy better than when you pretended like the other didn't exist 🤭🤭

see, what they all don't know is after that very fun and loud live at the practice room, wony fucked you to hell in one of those secluded rooms in the company building, making you see the stars while you came all over her cock 😵‍💫 yeah that hook-up was a blessing alright...

[eternalwanderer-stories]

Maybe I belong to that very small group in the fandom.…

Honestly, I feel a little lonely with my thoughts when almost the entire fandom is obsessed with timebomb and jayvik, and I don't feel the same love for these ships.

This is in no way a hate post – it's great that the people who love these ships have so much content and so many like-minded people who can share the same point of view with each other. It's really cool.

So, jayvik.

I love Viktor so much, but I have quite contradictory feelings about Jayce and my attitude towards him jumps from "hey, you're actually a great and very interesting character" to "gosh, what a dumbass, why do you even have fans?". But perhaps what pisses me off the most is that when I want to talk about Viktor, about his own aspirations, about his character, about his ideals, for some reason the conversation always boils down to the topic of jayvik specifically in relation to them as a couple. It seems as if for some people Viktor exists solely as a part of jayvik, and not as an independent and separate character, or, even worse, just an addition to the Mel/Jayce/Viktor love triangle in order to be more gay-drama, apparently. Viktor seems to be lost as a separate character in all this. By the way, this also applies to Jayce, I see so little of him in the fandom as a separate personality, and not as part of any ships. In any case, my attitude towards jayvik in this case is more due to the attitude of some fans towards this ship than to the relationship of the characters within the ship itself. Maybe I'll change my mind about these two when I finally figure out how I feel about Jayce.

I have exactly 3 problems with timebomb:

I don't feel any romantic chemistry between Jinx and Ekko. We didn't have much interaction between them, but when it was – for me it was more like two childhood friends who were separated on different sides by terrible events of the past. On the whole, I see these two solely as a beautiful and tragic concept of "broken friendship, but there is still hope for reconciliation and the opportunity to understand each other."

I am so tired of the fact that in almost every show/series/movies if we have a male and a female character on the screen, there must be love between them. Seriously, the media pushing the idea every time that friendship between a boy and a girl, if possible, is only possible in childhood, but when you're adults, you either don't know each other, or you definitely have hot sex and three children at the end of the story. HELLO, what about friendship?? Why is friendship not valued at all compared to love??? Especially between a male and a female character? Why is it that the desire to take care of each other, the warm feelings between you, support and understanding must always be accompanied by a loving relationship, whereas this is the basis of a strong friendship too? But no, every time we have a girl and a guy in the show, who must definitely become a canonical couple (just remember at least 2-3 shows where everything didn't end on a romantic note, but they just remained very good friends in the end, without a wedding and children)… I'm really tired of how much the media devalues the friendship between a guy and a girl, elevating an exclusively love.

My personal conviction is that Vi, Ekko and Jinx should move their own way, independently of each other. Especially Ekko, who copes with leaving the tragic past in the past and boldly moving forward towards his future much better than the sisters do. But this is a separate conversation, which I want to return to later with a separate post.

[rdng1230]

Sal Deluca Meta

Okie dokie here we go. Just remember y'all asked for this.

Here are some repeated talking points I’ve seen about Sal and why I think most of them are ignoring certain contexts or misattributing things to Sal that were said/done by somebody else. Also just general thoughts about our little mook.

Hen Begins

That Sal was a raging racist/sexist/homophobic. 

Let’s deal with the first one first. Is he a member of the white boys club? Absolutely. He makes no effort to include Hen and doesn’t really acknowledge her at all until he’s complimenting her for her skills at the end of the episode. This is OBVIOUSLY not good. He should’ve been kinder and more welcoming to her. But the only one who specifically makes negative/mean comments about Hen is Gerrard and Tommy. Literally the only thing you could even interpret that way is him saying “for real?” to Gerrard’s diversity hire comment and the fact that he drops the pick axe or whatever the hell that metal thing was on the floor along with everybody else besides Chim. Not great, but also with what we know about how other rookies are treated even by Hen herself, I don’t think any of this behavior falls into “irredeemable racist monster” Buck chased Ravi with a chainsaw for christ sake. 

Ok now the sexism. He actually stares daggers at Gerrard for the entirety of his stupid “waste of taxpayer money/women won’t be able to rescue my guys” spiel. Like the camera specifically focuses on Sal looking pissed as hell. Another thing I’ve heard falsely said is that after Gerrard storms off, Sal/Tommy follow him. That’s not true. They do get up and leave but they actually leave in the ass opposite direction. Sal’s face when he signals to Tommy to get up reads to me as “let’s get the hell away from the fallout of that grossness.” not “I agree with what that dinosaur just said.” But I also realize people can interpret that moment differently. 

I think the sexist reading largely comes from the Kristen Stewart conversation. And come on, This is the lesbian website, if we start dinging people for finding Kristen Stewart attractive, we’re all going down. Plus again, Buck was STEALING EMERGENCY EQUIPMENT TO GO GET LAID AND HE’S EVERYBODY’S FAV SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. We see Sal kind of ignore Hen but also agree with her at the same time during this exchange. Again a case of Sal not really acknowledging Hen but not attacking her either. Go and look at his face when Tommy says that NY bitchiness comment. Sal does not look at all happy with him. Most of the time when anyone is being actively mean Sal looks pissed off, not approving.

Ok now the homophobia thing. And it's at this point I’m going to bring up the idea that some characters seem bad/good not based on their actions but on whose perspective we’re viewing those actions from. I see this being a problem with several characters. Most notably Taylor Kelly. But that's a whole other post. 

Sal’s team Jacob comment is homophobic and gross but it's also 1) 2009 and 2) directed at someone who he clearly knows incredibly well and who we KNOW gives as good as he gets. I easily could’ve seen this interaction reversed with Tommy saying that to Sal because that's who they are and how their friendship works. But because we’re seeing this from Hen’s perspective it's another thing that makes her feel isolated and othered. And again THAT IS NOT GOOD SAL SHOULD NOT BE DOING THAT. But I don’t think Sal at all said that with the intention of putting Hen down, it very clearly reads to me as Sal teasing/riling Tommy up as they always have. Now obviously the harm still hits even if the intent wasn’t present. But I think if we can forgive Tommy for comments that were MEANT to be mean, then we can forgive Sal for comments that were just him fucking around with his best friend of several years. 

That Sal was the ringleader or Gerrard’s right hand man

Does Sal have a sort of in charge vibe? Yeah absolutely. But very notably the only thing he actually initiates is the olive branch. It’s him that offers a hand to Hen and says nice job and you’re good at what you do. I also will die on the hill that the hemorrhoid complaint was his. Chim would definitely say that but not in an official report, Tommy would definitely bad mouth Gerrard, but not like that. Now who is known for kind of cruder language and a short fuse and absolutely would put that down in an official report? Sal motherfucking Deluca that’s who. 

One notable thing that I find interesting is that Hen herself distinguishes Gerrard’s behavior from the rest of the team's. She definitely gives them hell during her big speech but when Chim does dishes with her she specifically says men like him not men like them. Just something I realized on my most recent rewatch. 

To summarize, the only real thing Sal did that was unique to him (because they all failed to stick up for Hen, yes even Chim. Chim was nice to her but he never actually stood up for her to Gerrard’s face. He tried to redirect the conversation a couple times but that was it.) was the Kristen stewart comments and the Team Jacob comment. I would argue Tommy’s comments in Chimney begins and his NY bitchiness comment in Hen Begins are way more targeted, hateful, and fucking rude. (said with all love because we know Tommy had a bunch of growth and change and became the man we all know and adore.) IMO nothing in Hen begins that Sal says/does is as bad as what Tommy did/said.

Bobby Begins Again

Ok another reason why I don’t think Sal is this irredeemable sexist/racist/homophobic pig is WHY ON EARTH WOULD HEN STAND UP FOR HIM IF HE WAS???!?!?!? Hen is THE FIRST PERSON TO CALL OUT THAT CRAP even from the first episode she says something like “why is that always the first instinct with you whiteboy macho types?” So why why why why would she stand up for Sal if he hadn’t shown any improvement in that area in the now 7 years minimum that she’s worked with him. Answer: she fucking wouldn’t. Ok moving on.

The Bobby stuff

So remember how I said perspective changes everything? This is the major reason why. We as the audience love Bobby and know intimately the struggles he’s faced, so we’re naturally going to be angered by anyone who is antagonistic towards him. The thing is Sal doesn’t know ANY of that. This is what Sal knows about Bobby.

He’s from somewhere in middle America and has never worked in a MAJOR American city like LA/NYC. That’s it. He COMPLETELY ACCURATELY I MIGHT ADD predicts that anybody with that background will struggle to adapt to the specifics of LA. It’s Sal that has to pick up Bobby’s slack as he adjusts, calling out the shots at the tree trimmer call, taking the initiative with Maurice even though Bobby does ultimately do the saving. (Which Sal actually seems impressed by btw.) Bobby still can’t even read the city map when they pull up to the restaurant fire call. 

Now imagine you’re Sal. First you had Gerrard as captain, who (I think it's fair to say) you DID NOT LIKE. One of the things he did was put down firefighters who disobeyed orders by rescuing people. We saw this with the “fetching a tide” call and with saving the boy in the submerged car. Hen disobeyed orders but showed real skill as a firefighter. And all she got for her troubles was being berated by her Captain. 

Ok then after Gerrard you have an interim captain that seems like a decent dude, but he leaves and for a while you have a revolving door of retiring brass that are checked out, behind the times, or just generally disengaged. You become used to filling in as captain and get actually pretty damn good at managing the team. (I say this because Sal leads the team several times in BBA and nobody looks at all like this is a new development) Then they finally pick a nobody who has never worked in a proper city before and to you he’s just the newest asshole that will probably screw up and get someone killed. Sal has no idea about the challenges or traumas Bobby has had to face, just like we have no idea what might have happened in the 5+ years between HB and BBA. Sal has probably MANY REASONS not to trust Bobby that we don’t know about. 

So how would you feel after you’ve successfully rescued a teenage boy’s life, if your new captain who you’ve known for like a day and still doesn’t even know how to get the engine to calls on time, calls YOU stupid for SUCCESSFULLY SAVING A CHILD’S LIFE. I think you’d be likely to blow up a little too. 

Was Sal a hothead? Absolutely. Was he being smart by mouthing off to Bobby? Absolutely not. But I think his lines to Bobby during that scene are so telling. “You’re just the latest jag off in a long line of jag offs to come to this house and think you know how to run it.” In other words, he’s not really seeing Bobby during this exchange (he couldn’t possibly, Bobby is still being very closed off and won’t tell anyone what his story is for years) he’s seeing the long line of assholes that started with Gerrard that Bobby is unknowingly falling into the pattern of. Just like how Bobby didn’t really see Sal and one relatively tiny restaurant, he saw his wife and family and a massive apartment building with no way out. That to me is the tragedy of Bobby and Sal. I genuinely think they could’ve learned a lot from each other if they had left their baggage at the door. 

In other words, would we judge Sal if he had gone after Gerrard in the way he went after Bobby? I doubt it. And that to me is what Sal is actually doing, going after Gerrard and all the other nameless asshole captains he’s been dealing with for YEARS. Sal was hotheaded and impulsive, but at the end of the day I think he was just dealing with misplaced anger that he put on Bobby, something both Buck and Eddie have done at some point or another even when they DID have all the information. If you can forgive the lawsuit arc, and Eddie’s comments in season 5 about Bobby’s kill count than dear god I think Sal has more than earned a pass. 

Overarching things I find interesting about Sal that I don’t see anyone talking about 

He cares a lot about the people they save on rescues, he’s the one on the majority of calls saying some variant of “its gonna be ok/we’re gonna get you out/don’t worry. Whatever the firefighter equivalent of bedside manner is, this guy has it. 

His personal code of who he gives a shit about seems to boil down entirely to who has skills/is talented and who isn’t. The minute Hen shows real promise by saving that little boy, he is down there hand shaking and complimenting her. Ditto Freddie Costas. “Smart kid, probably saved his own life with that move.” You see this in his conversation with Bobby too “that wasn’t luck man that was skill.” You have to earn Sal’s respect and the way you do is by demonstrating competence. Sal genuinely does look impressed with Bobby for apprehending Maurice and showing ingenuity, the problem is it's immediately undercut when Bobby belittles him for saving the kid. 

Anywho, that’s my Sal defense thesis. There’s probably other stuff I forgot but that's the bulk of it. I reserve the right to randomly reblog this with any other shit that comes to mind. Also as a disclaimer I still LOVE reading toxic Sal or asshole Sal content, absolutely eat it up with a spoon gimme gimme gimme. But I think it would be unfair to say that’s the ONLY read of him. He clearly does give a shit and is capable of growth and change, he just also happens to have a short fuse and very little willingness to go about things in a tactful way. 

TLDR: free my man, he did do some of that shit but so did your blorbos, it's just your blorbos had the narrative on their side when they did it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I played a matchmaker for my best friend & her crush?

So, background. I (M28) have a best friend, Kate (F24). We have great friendship going on, and we have never considered going romantic/sexual; we're not each other's type and we're both 100% content with being friends. The thing is, Kate has had extreme bad luck with men. She's rather attractive and popular with men, which led to some atrocious experiences with various garbage men, mostly prior to our meeting. She actually said I helped her realize her self-worth and made her less prone to diving headfirst into toxic flings, which is honestly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Then, Kate started chatting with Frank (M, probably mid-20s). All three of us are members of a Star Wars discussion group, since we're all fans (and Star Wars is basically what brought me and Kate together). Frank is genuinely nice, intelligent, mature, well-read and overall a great guy. We've had a few run-ins, so he knows that I exist, but I can't really say we're friends, although we probably would if we interacted more. Since then, Kate has been regularly gushing about how great Frank is and how he's the only man she could imagine having a genuine, long-term relationship with - and honestly, I'd be happy as hell if she finally settled with someone more mellow and mature. The problem is that Frank is passive as hell and probably wouldn't realize a girl is into him even if she wrote it on a banner and hung it in front of his house. And Kate isn't willing to make a move because she's full of doubts, especially if all her past disastrous flings make her unable to be genuinely in love with someone - she's also on the aromantic spectrum, which makes the whole thing even more complicated. So they're basically tiptoeing around each other all the time with neither one willing to make a move. Now here's my dilemma. I often have the urge to just text Frank privately, tell him that Kate would be willing to "risk" a relationship with him, perhaps send some screenshots of all the nice things she has said about him, just to finally motivate him to initiate something and break that stalemate between them. I've jokingly suggested this to Kate, and she strictly forbade me from doing that. Despite that, I want to do it, because I genuinely believe those two would be happy together and that Frank would be able to calm Kate's temper and change her life for the better, after all those horrible experiences. On the other hand, I'm aware I'd be acting behind her back and possibly betray her trust if I intervened, although I'm pretty sure I could keep it a secret between Frank and I.

TL;DR: My best friend Kate has a lot of bad experiences with garbage men. Recently, she fell in love with a smart, mature guy Frank who would be a great match for her, but neither of them is willing to make a move to initiate something. I've been considering to text Frank privately and tell him how Kate feels about him, but I'm afraid that acting behind Kate's back like this is a crappy thing to do.

WIBTA if I texted Frank and hopefully got things into motion?

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about Sabrina? Are you like her, dislike her or neutral?

I don't have strong feelings about Sabrina beyond a general distaste for her "redemption." Sabrina was played as way too much of a willing bully for me to absolve her of her past actions without some serious apologizing on her part. Just look at these matching smirks from the Derision flashback!

[Image Description: Chloe and Sabrina smirking evilly while plotting to hurt Marinette]

That was the episode that blamed Chloe for all of Marinette's problems while showing Sabrina doing all the actual dirty work, which is very much a running theme in this show. Most of the things that Chloe gets blamed for should see at least part of the blame going to Sabrina, too, but that's not what we get in canon. Sabrina spends multiple seasons helping Chloe torment people only to be welcomed on to team Miraculous before she even reaches her "redemption" moment (see: Penalteam). Now that Sabrina has done her one good dead, she's redeemed and is a permanent holder as a reward for that single good act, I guess?

The whole thing makes me deeply uncomfortable when I compare it to the way that the show handled Chloe. I only bring that up because, when it comes to Sabrina, I can't avoid thinking or talking about the Chloe thing because you never see Sabrina without Chloe! They're a matching set! They even have similar base stories with Chloe's parents influencing her behavior via their abuse and encouragement just like Chloe influenced Sabrina (which could have been a great discussion about abuse leading to abuse if this element of their writing had been even remotely intentional). Redeeming one and not the other invites you to make the comparison and it's unfortunately a comparison that's deeply lacking on multiple fronts.

If Chloè didn't earn a redemption - and I really don't think that she did, her redemption never truly stated - then neither did Sabrina. A sob story doesn't undo the harm that you've caused. A redemption doesn't even undo the harm! You can fully "redeem" yourself and still be rejected by those you hurt because your victims don't owe you a relationship. (Side note, this is where Chloe and Sabrina fall for me. In the early seasons, you could redeem them onto the team. Now? The writers took these two way too far to the point where they feel like totally different characters and even break early canon episodes because Marinette's treatment of them doesn't match who they supposedly always were.)

If they really wanted to redeem Sabrina, then they needed to highlight what makes her story different from Chloe's. As is, it feels massively hypocritical to welcome Sabrina onto the team after all that she's done to cause harm and after how little she's done to right that harm. At best, canon Sabrina should have just gone off to a new school to get a fresh start without Chloe. At worst, she should have become someone else's minion. Either way, she should not be treated as one of the "good guys."

Outside of that mess, Sabrina is just your standard minion character who gets minimal development, so it's hard for me to have a strong opinion on her. I think she's used well in the first few seasons, but she's still one of the characters that I'd cut or at least cut back on if I had my way with canon simply because she's not really necessary for the show to work and the cast needs to be cut down significantly. It's not that I hate her or anything like that. I just don't see why Chloe needed a minion or what Sabrina adds that another character can't.

For example, you could give Sabrina a solid character arc around developing healthy friendships and letting go of Chloe's influence, but why give that to her when you could give it to Mr. I've-never-really-had-friends-before-and-I-really-should-have-a-character-arc-around-that who also happens to have grown up with Chloe as his only friend? (That's Adrien by the way. Why go with Sabrina when you've got him unless you're using Sabrina to contrast Adrien in some way?)

[bunny-eats-fox]

lost on you | part XVI

MIYA ATSUMU X PLUS SIZE, FEMALE READER

words count : 5633

chapter warning : blood mentioned (nosebleed)

<< XV

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With a heavy sigh (because why could your brain never shut up?), you knew, no matter how often you told yourself, you would finally end it - for real this time! - you never would. Because, despite you constantly worrying and overthinking it, you secretly (or not so secretly) loved the attention Tsumu gave you. The way he made you feel loved and desired… even if he was faking it, probably, still made you feel special just for once. Even if you would never know his real reason and even if you were a little scared that, in the end, maybe he only did it to hurt you as a revenge for how you treated him the past years, you didn’t have it in you to end it. Though, when the day would come – and it inevitably would – when he would break this weird situationship off, you weren’t sure if you could handle that rejection.

Though despite knowing all that, you wanted to get “loved” for just a little longer, even if it was just a fake love; you wanted to indulge in the fantasy of “dating Osamu”, or whatever at that point, and continue the relationship  you had. Even if it meant more pain in the end, when it all would inevitably crumble to pieces.  You never imagined you would accustom so quickly to the way things were between you and Atsumu now, but being touch- and love-starved sure helped a ton with that. Although it sure was a little bit embarrassing and you wondered if he ever found you desperate…

Regardless, the whole “you would totally end it all for good this time” was yet another empty threat you told yourself to feel better about your childish little sarcastic comment you made.

“Hey, Senpai!”, Ruka’s sudden greeting made you jump. You were so caught up in your own thoughts, you didn't even hear her come inside.

“Ruka! What are ya doing here?”            

“Thought I’d come and help ya.”, she grinned and immediately got to work to fill up another tray with cups of water.

You were speechless for a second, but then quickly turned to her properly. As much as the thought of them dating honestly really annoyed you (and you hated that you couldn't even figure out why the hell it did to that extend), you had to apologize to her for being so sarcastically rude like a toddler.

“Thank ya Ruka, and I’m sorry. I… was really childish just now. The whole Osamu-Mia thing, ya know…it’s been rough, but that was still uncalled for, so I mean… if ya like Tsumu, we could try something an-“

“Oh my God, (Y/n)-senpai, noooo.”, she immediately waved her hands then crossed them to show an X, emphasizing her next words even more with that gesture, “Aaaabsolutely hell to the fuck no! Atsumu-senpai is objectively hot, yeah, and generally a nice guy and a great Senpai and friend, but that’s literally it. He is SO not my type. I don’t harbor any feelings for him that would go beyond friendship. His chaotic ass is someone else’s problem one day, deeeeeefinitely not mine.”, then she laughed and teasingly elbowed you.

“I just wanted to tease ya a little and it worked, hahaha. It’s okay. Ya didn’t hurt my feelings or anything.”

“Oh… Rukaaaaa”, you whined and then pouted, “Ya so mean, teasing me like that.”, then playfully and gently elbowed her back.

“I didn't think it would work on ya, Senpai, since it’s Atsumu-senpai, ya know? Or could it be… ya actually liiiike-”

“What no!?”, you hastily refused and laughed nervously, “Hell no. I mean.. like yer said, it’s Atsumu. His chaotic ass is someone else’s problem one day, not mine. I don't even like him like that, like yeah he is nice and funny and all, but still he’s my best friend, just that. I mean, we even shared a crib together, so I can’t even imagine feeling anything more than friendship for him, ya know?”

You knew damn well that Ruka did not buy that at all, her raised eyebrow and the suppressed grin didn't do a good job at hiding that either. But, she simply nodded in agreement and turned back to her tray.

“Mn, I totes get that, Senpai.”

With a small sigh, you were glad she just accepted your awkward way of explaining to her that you absolutely did not harbor any feelings for the older twin. Well, despite some sexual feelings, but that was normal, given the friends-with-benefits thing you’ve got going on, but other than that? You did not feel anything!

Thankfully, by the time you were done, both of you giggled again as you walked out of the Ryokan, each carrying a tray with cups of water.

Simply glad you didn’t make things awkward between Ruka and you, you walked back to the beach. Your conversation continued as you walked and you were simply happy you could forget about the weird situation you were in for a moment. Truly… only for a moment though.

As you walked to the spot with the volleyball net, the boys were in a heated battle still, but Ruka didn’t care at all. With a cheerful “(Y/n)-senpai and I are back, guys!” she got the attention of everyone. Well, no. She got the attention of one – only one.

The moment Atsumu heard your name, he physically couldn’t stop himself from turning his head. Since, the moment he realized you were gone, he had slightly less fun playing against his former team mates. So, naturally, when he heard you were back, he wanted to confirm and look for himself.

Oh, how foolish of him.

He watched as your face went from a smile to a panicked expression in just a second when you looked over. The next thing he heard was your frantic “Tsumu look out!” and when he inevitably looked up, there was no time to react as the volleyball landed directly in his face.

Now, it wasn’t just lightly served over the net. It was a full blown, full force spike from his brother that hit him right in the face. Safe to say, the force of the spike knocked him off his feet and he fell backwards into the sand, his hands immediately covering his aching face. A wave of embarrassment, and also pain, brought tears to his eyes.

“Miya-kun are you alright?!” Mia immediately yelled and ran up to him. Ugh, her voice made the throbbing pain even more unbearable.

When he glanced up, she, as well as the others, circled him as he laid there in the sand. Just hearing her “That looked really painful, are you alright!?” annoyed him so unbelievably much and he really wanted to shout at her to shut the fuck up for once and leave him alone. However, the moment he heard your “Tsumu! Ya good?!”, he didn’t feel that bad anymore.

“Yeah…” Though, when he finally moved his hands from his face, it probably didn’t look “good” to you and he probably knew why, when he felt something warm trickle down his nose to his lips. Tsumu witnessed something beautiful that moment when you, who stood further away, immediately pushed through Suna and Samu plus appendage (Mia) - as they stood closest to him - and shoved Osamu’s girlfriend to the side that way. She squeaked, stumbled and dramatically fell against her boyfriend. If only you would rush to see him without that worried expression on your face.

“Okay, come on. Sit up. Now.”, you said, grabbed his hands and pulled him into a sitting position. The blood immediately dripped faster and his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss a “Fuck!” and tilt his head back, but you knew better.

“Head down! Or do yer wanna drink ya own blood, idiot?”, you said and pushed his head down so the blood freely dropped onto the sand. Even that made his heart jump. After all, weren't you just worried about him? How was he not supposed to be happy about that?

Everyone just quietly watched once you plopped down in front of him, probably because they had such accidents back in high school and you had handled those as well, so they didn’t interfere with your work. Slowly, the circle disappeared, also thanks to Ruka who tried to bribe them with the cups of water. Though, all of that didn't matter to Atsumu any longer when you gently cupped his unscathed cheek and slightly turned his head.

“Do ya feel dizzy? Think yer can stand? Let’s see... Yer cheek’s all red and it seems like ya have a cut on the lip…Nose looks good though.”, you inspected his face and even though he knew it was the worst timing, Atsumu felt a little… shy? Because you were so close and also worried about him. It did make his heart flutter a little.

“Nah, not dizzy. Should be fine.”

“Okay, let’s go back though, just to be safe. That was no light spike, we gotta observe and make sure ya don’t have a concussion.” 

“Don’t worry so much, (Y/n), he’s an idiot with a head of steel. Honestly, I hope the volleyball’s okay.”, Samu made light of the situation.

“Samu!”, you immediately looked up with an angry scowl, making his twin visibly flinch and Atsumu thought he heard a small “My bad.”, before you turned back to him, “Let’s go.”

Akagi, Suna and Aran had to quickly look away, because that was awkward. Ruka was just stunned, because throughout all the years she knew you, she had never heard you talk back to Osamu like that. At least not in that sort of tone, usually you would have playfully “exhorted” him, but never meant too seriously. Samu looked a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable, since you would usually laugh at his stupid remarks to make fun of his brother.

But, no one was probably as shocked, to be quite honest, as Atsumu.

He wondered if anyone was capable of hearing his heartbeat because of how fiercely it thumped inside his chest. Atsumu didn’t even know what to say, he just let himself get pulled up by you into a standing position and accepted his t-shirt as a cloth for his blood. Even though he stumbled for a moment, he quickly gained back control over his limbs and was able to walk normally.

You had never told off Osamu before. Especially not in regards to him and that was even more amazing.

“Thanks.” That was all he managed to say, but you just shook your head and made sure to walk closely by his side, just so he wouldn’t suddenly stumble and fall.

The walk back to the Ryokan was wrapped in silence.

“Wait, lemme get the sand off ya or aunty will be livid if we drag that inside.”, you said once you reached the Ryokan and quickly started brushing it off. It showed him once more how comfortable you had become with one another, when you didn’t even think twice about it and patted the sand off his butt and worked your way down his legs to his ankles.

A small shiver ran down his spine, but he kept still otherwise. Who knew all he had to do was get a volleyball spiked in his face for you to be so cute and couple-y with him?

After that procedure, you went inside, snuck past his aunt, so she wouldn’t unnecessarily worry, and got back to your room for the week. Once you pulled out the big towel on the futon, so he could sit down, you looked at his face again.

“Okay, the bleeding has already stopped, so that’s a good sign. Do ya still feel okay? Not foggy or dizzy or anything? Vision’s good?”, you asked him all sorts of questions and Atsumu just nodded.

“All’s good. I’m getting a headache though, but I think that’s inevitable after getting spiked that hard. Otherwise, I’m a-okay.” He even gestured the “Ok”-sign with his fingers as he grinned a little.

“Good. Tell me if anything changes though. We don’t wanna risk anything.”

“Mn.”

Atsumu watched as you got a little something from your suitcase. When you came back to the futon, he realized it was a small emergency pouch.

“Always prepared, huh?”, he teased you and you just playfully slapped his arm with the back of your hand.

“Good thing I am always prepared for something to go wrong, huh? Ever since we were little, ya would get into a fight with Samu or do something else stupid and hurt yourself.”

Now that it seemed he was okay, Atsumu was happy to see you were visibly more relaxed and teased him back.

“I know. Thanks for always being prepared and helping me out.”, he earnestly said.

“It’s okay… I guess that’s my cross to bear being friends with two hotheaded idiot twins.”, you dramatically sighed and in the end, you both chuckled before you properly tended to the wound on his lip.

For a few moments, he was quiet as you dabbed disinfectant solution on his lip and cleaned the small cut. Then he said, “Thank you, though. Not only for that, but also for standing up for me against Samu.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t call it “standing up” per se, he just said something stupid that was totally unnecessary in that situation, but yeah. No problem.”, you smiled at him so cutely he seriously couldn’t help himself anymore.

Thus, he interrupted your cleaning and leaned forward, kissing you fully on your lips, even if his stung a little. Sadly, you pulled back almost immediately. However, not because, as he believed, you were uncomfortable, rather because you were worried.

“Oii ya dummy, doesn’t that hurt??”

“Mnnn…”, he playfully tilted his head back and forth to ‘think’, though then he grinned, “A little. But it’s fine, I wanna kiss yer fully or … do ya hate it…?”

“Well it did feel a little weird and the disinfectant’s kinda gross…”, you got a little quieter at the end and before he could even say something, you had already cupped the cheek that was spared from the spike and leaned in for another kiss.

Atsumu was confused at first when he felt your touch, but the second your soft lips brushed against his, he was smitten. Reaching out to cup your own cheek, he pulled you in closer. He didn’t care about the slight burn, all he felt was that twinge in his stomach he always got when his feelings for you were about to explode. Seriously, he was just so happy, despite getting spiked in the face.

When he pulled back, Atsumu couldn’t contain his stupid happy grin. Though you just sighed and playfully shook your head with an eye roll, before you got back to treating his small wounds.

“So, do yer wanna take a shower to get all the sand off and then lie down?”, you asked while you put away your emergency pouch again.

“Mnnn maybe. My head’s kinda hurting and sleep would probably fix it but I dunno, I don’t wanna stay inside. You?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s such a nice day, but I mean, ya should probably really rest up after that hit. I honestly think I’ll just do my nails if I already have the time. They do be looking a little ugly because of all the exam stress. And I did bring my polish and stuff… Mhnn…”

He watched as you inspected your nails that were usually painted, though now most of the polish had flaked off. Atsumu knew, because it was an open secret he loved looking at you, so of course he also noticed the little details. Besides, he absolutely loved it when you had freshly painted nails, because it just looked so good with your hand wrapped around his co-

“So? What d’ya think? Wanna join me outside for a painting session or wanna stay here and rest up until the others come back from their hike?”, you interrupted his naughty thoughts and he immediately got bashful, as if you had just caught him in a very risqué situation.

Coughing a little, he tried to calm down again and then looked up to meet your eyes.

“Yeah I’ll join ya. Just gimme 10 minutes and I’m ready.”

15 minutes later, you and Atsumu sat down at one of the benches the Ryokan offered as a form of relaxation. He sat across from you, watching as you put your nail polish and other things onto the table.

“Ya know… I’m actually happy that happened.”

“Excuseee me, (Y/n)?”, he dramatically exclaimed and faked a shocking expression.

“No!”, you laughed and softly kicked his shin, “I didn’t mean it like that. I wish ya didn’t have to get injured for that. But ya know… getting away from Mia and Samu, just... having a little time to breath and think. I feel like everything that happened in the last like two months is insane and happened in such rapid succession. I mean, them…then the thing we’ve got going on, final exams, this trip. Like it’s crazy how quickly time flies, really.”

With his head leaning on his arms that rested on the table, he could only nod and grumble in approval. A lot did happen in such a short amount of time, but, his goal was still clear: Make you fall in love with him and forget his brother. No matter how long it took or how much he would get hurt in the process, if you would confidently and with all your heart choose him over Samu one day, he could die happy. And if one day, you chose someone else as your partner, he would stop trying, but until that day, Atsumu was not ready to give up.

“All good? The stank of the acetone is not too bad?”

The way you worriedly asked him was just adorable. He shook his head with a happy little smile adorning his lips, “Everything’s fine.”, and then he continued to watch as you removed the old polish and prepped your nails.

Honestly, as he watched you file and shape your nails, he wondered if you would do it to him as well. More jokingly than anything, Atsumu then reached out his hand and shook it a little as he asked with an amused undertone, “Can ya do mine, too?”

For a second, you seemed confused, which was to be expected, but he didn’t think you would euphorically take his hand and nod in excitement.

“Hell yeah. Ya know, my secret dream was always to become a nail tech, if uni or something didn’t work out that was like my backup plan, so I’d actually love to do that. Can I paint them too?”

You looked up with a sparkle in your beautiful eyes – that’s when he knew he could never possibly say no to that.

“Sure, I mean I asked and a little bit of polish doesn’t hurt.”

“Awesome. I did bring my forest green polish with me ‘cuz I thought it’d matched with the vibes around the Ryokan pretty well. It does have some sparkle to it though…”

“I don’t mind, gimme.”

Quite honestly, watching you smile and be so happy about this, truly made him the happiest. After all the shit you went through over the last weeks, seeing you ecstatic like that warmed his heart. If he knew he could make you happy just by offering to get his nails painted by you, he would have done that sooner. And to top it off, he could feel your touch as you held his hand and worked on it, so this was truly a win-win situation for him.

“Ya know, I always thought you had pretty hands before, but looking at them this closely… yer really taking good care of them, damn.”, you giggled as you got to work.

“Yer thought my hands were pretty?”, he teased you instantly, because if not, you might have heard how his inner self was kicking his feet and screaming like a little girl because of that simple statement.

Safe to say, you immediately got shy and grumbled, “Kinda…”

“Geez why did ya have to make this weird now?” And his punishment quickly followed when you pinched between his thumb and pointer finger.

“Ow, ow, ow! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just happy.”, he chuckled and whined at the same time.

Why were you so fricking adorable all the time?! You would be the death of him one day.

“Yer so cute…” Atsumu didn’t even realize at first that he hadn’t just thought this, he had also mumbled it. And he only realized that when you kicked his shin again and embarrassingly whined, “Shut up, seriously! No one thinks that besides you, yer so weird!”

But, of course, you had to go ahead and grumble so cutely; though it was surely almost over for him when you looked through your eyelashes all ‘angry’ and then back to his nails again with a little pouty “Hm!”.

Atsumu was so happy, he miserably failed at hiding his stupid happy grin, hence why he buried his face in his still resting arm. The slight stinging and burning of his wounds was the only thing that confirmed that he wasn’t dreaming. He knew you had gotten closer, but witnessing it like that in every interaction you two had, made him so giddy - like a little kid who got a basket full of candy each day. Even if you weren’t a couple (yet) and even if he had to wait many months more, just knowing the relationship you once had as best friends was almost back to where it was, still felt like a big accomplishment to him. Because, despite wanting to touch you, kiss you and just shower you with love, getting back to just doing stupid shit and laughing with you, teasing each other and playfully bicker; all that was also something he had missed a ton.

“I’m so glad we got closer again.” Atsumu said quietly with a blissful smile on his lips.

For a second, you stopped and he felt your eyes on him, hence he looked up and smiled directly at you. When you returned the gestured and smiled at him as well, his heart did a small jump.

“Yeah, me too. I truly forgot how much fun we used to have. I wish I would have never realized my feelings for him, then maybe… we could have stayed that way forever. I got so awkward with Samu and I definitely hurt our friendship with that, too…” You suddenly stopped working on his hand and he realized your glazed eyes once he looked up. “Haha sorry, uhm …”, you fanned yourself, hoping not to start crying.

“I’m sorry Tsumu, really.”, you said with a quiver in your voice, “For how I treated ya. It’s really okay if you actually hate me.”

Quickly, he jumped up, completely ignoring his headache at this point, and rushed around the table to hug you, almost knocking you off the bench due to his force. Thus, you could only hold onto him and accept the tight embrace.

“’s fine. Yer apologize so often and I already told ya it’s okay. I would never hate you, you idiot! Besides…”, he pulled back a little and gently wiped away your tears, “I was never mad or anything, just sad we had this rift between us. So yah… it’s okay now. Really.”   

You looked at him for a second, before he had to hold back a small chuckle when you buried your face in his t-shirt again.

“Thank you. And sorry I got emotional. Our friendship has taken such a weird turn, I… sometimes still don’t know what to think of it. And I’m scared yer gonna use it to take revenge on me for how shitty I’ve treated you as my friend.”

“(Y/n), I… would never. Do ya seriously think so low of me?”, he whispered and hugged you almost a little painfully tight.

“Then… can you tell me the real reason… Why you asked me that time to sleep with you? Why you wanted us to start pretend dating?”

When you looked up to meet his eyes, it took his breath away, but not in a nice sort of way. Because, truthfully, he was a little too stunned to speak. There was no way in hell he could tell you the truth yet. The thought that he might like you, probably never even crossed your mind. Heck, he just found out you basically thought he still hated you secretly.

“I…It’s uhm…”, he stumbled over his words and quickly avoided eye contact, “It’s a little complicated… But I told yer before, right?” Atsumu grabbed your cute, chubby cheeks and kissed you, not caring that any minute his aunt or your friends could come around the corner and see you two. “I already told ya I didn’t ask out of pity or anything, I… just want to help yer get over Samu. Even if it’s a weird way to do that.”

Tsumu couldn’t even take his own lie seriously, but somehow, you seemed okay with that and just nodded. Tough he wished he could read your mind, he couldn’t look into that beautiful little head of your and so, the setter was just happy you accepted his horrible lie. Instead, he squeezed your soft body and snuggled you, simply content that you even allowed him to do that, because a few weeks ago that would have been impossible.

However, as beautiful and intimate that moment felt, it was soon destroyed by a voice that made him gag, “We are baa-AAAACK!?”

It sounded sweet at first and then quickly turned into shock when she saw you two in this tight embrace. Honestly, Mia’s reaction was quite funny, but Atsumu was bracing himself for your inevitable shove, however… it… didn’t come? Instead, you lowered your arms without any haste and then wiped away your tears.

“Ahw no, everything okay, Senpai?”, Ruka was genuinely worried when she was your tears.

“Yeah. Tsumu and I just reconciled and I got a little emotional.”, you smiled and somehow, the boys had a relieved kind of look on their face. Well, they had witnessed your relationship with Atsumu decline over the years, so they were probably just happy for him.

“Soo what were you two doing, hm? Miya-kun, are you sure you’re okay? Shouldn’t you rest up, hm?”, Mia gave herself air and he seriously couldn’t stand it.

“Aahhh damn it, I wanted to do my nails before y’all got back!”, you then exclaimed all of a sudden and Atsumu, who had just fobbed her off with a “Yeah, yeah ‘s fine.”, added, “And mine!”

“Y’all were doing nails?”, Ruka immediately dashed to the table, “Me too, me too.”

You had let go of him again, which was a little sad, but he resisted the urge to go too far and accepted it. Instead, he sat down beside you on the bench while everyone else also came over.

“Can I see the color?”, Rin asked and you immediately gave the polish to him.

“Ya said yer bf’s a nail tech, right? I’m so jealous, imagine yer lover can get yer nails done for ya, I’d love that.”, you giggled and Suna just blushed a little and sat down on the bench opposite of you and Atsumu.

“Yah, he always wants to do something on mine but I just don’t really like the feeling of something on my nails, so yeah… He gets pretty disappointed at times.”, he chuckled and quickly, the conversation had once again reached a nice flow when Aran started talking about his fiancée’s nail, which then turned into Kita telling his story about how he had to maintain his grandma’s nails because she couldn’t properly clip and file them herself without her wrists and fingers aching afterwards.

So, this small insignificant thing turned into a whole conversation and Atsumu completely forgot to ask why they were already here (didn’t they want to walk around the village and hike up the mountain or something?) and instead, he enjoyed the atmosphere. Hanging around with his friends after such a long time truly was just really a joyous experience. Besides, watching Mia out of the corner of his eyes, struggling to fit in and contribute to the conversation was hilarious to him.

That’s what she got for imposing on your trip!

“Sooo.. what happened to the hike? Already had a tour through the village?”, you then asked once the conversation had calmed down again.

“Well you see-“

“Osamu-kun and I were pretty worried about Miya-kun, so I said I wanted to get back and check on you. Right?”, Mia interrupted Omimi rudely and then turned to her boyfriend for support.

It’s only been the second day, but Atsumu could feel the tension between everyone else and Mia and it certainly got worse every time she opened her mouth.

“Yah, I didn’t mean to spike it so hard, sorry bro.” Osamu reached out his hand and ruffled his twin’s hair.

“Mnn, it’s fine.”

Atsumu shooed his hand away and then frowned.

“Honestly, my head’s kinda killing me so… I might get inside and get some rest if that’s okay with y’all?”

Everyone nodded with a sound of approval, though before he could stand up, he felt your hand on his that stopped him for another second.

“Ya feel dizzy too? Lightheaded?”

He inwardly squeed and felt a heart-squeeze. He loved you so much, he just wanted to scream it from the rooftops for fuck’s sake! Ugh!

“Yah a little maybe, can ya help me? Or I might hit my head again.”

And he totally milked it, but when he saw the little glint in your eyes, he knew you probably weren’t too disappointed.

“Sure. Just a sec.”

“Maybe yer should tell yer aunt and get it checked out though?”, Aran suggested, however, Atsumu quickly waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

“Naaahh. If it gets worse in a few hours I’ll think about it. For now, I’ll just rest until lunch and it should be perfectly fine.”

“Well, if ya say so…”, Akagi begrudgingly said with a worried face and everyone else seemed to be a little worried about it as well. Though Atsumu assured them that everything was fine if he would just get some rest, besides…

“I’ll have (Y/n) in the room with me if anything were to happen, so ‘s gonna be fine.”

With that, Atsumu didn’t want to hear any more and they understood, but of course, one person didn’t really get the hint that it was enough.

“Are you sure (Y/n)-chan can help you? What if you really have a concussion and you have to vomit or something? Or you get a seizure?”

“Don’t worry Mia, the only person who could get through to this stubborn idiot then would be (Y/n) anyways.”, Osamu tried to calm down his girlfriend. He was either really oblivious and naïve or straight up dumb, because even Atsumu found it ridiculous at this point how “worried” Mia was about him.

“But-“

“’s fine.”, he repeated and interrupted her. Atsumu looked down on her as he stood up, enjoying it just slightly how she flinched under his unamused gaze, “Like Samu said: All I need is (Y/n) anyways if anything were to happen.”

“Oh my God, yer so fucking dramatic Tsumu. Shut up and come on, I thought ya needed rest?”, you walked past him and playfully “angrily” slapped his shoulder (to mask your shyness possibly?).

In the corner of his eye, he only saw Ruka and the guys exchanging a look that said “Daaaayum”, before he followed you. Or rather, you had waited for him and then went alongside him to make sure he wouldn’t suddenly really get sick or anything.

Successfully, you and Tsumu snuck past his aunt, so again, she wouldn’t get worried seeing his little injury. Thus, once you reached your room for the week, you sighed a little and put your nail polish back into your little bag. He did feel a little guilty you couldn’t paint your nails.

“Sorry, let’s do ‘em tonight if the weather allows it?”

“Ah yeah, no problem. It was unfortunate timing. But damn, ya ran away from Mia again, even though sHe WaS sO wOrRiEd AbOuT yOu.”, you mocked her and then laughed when you looked up and saw his face that also displayed pure annoyance.

“She should worry about her own damn boyfriend and leave me the fuck alone.”, he mumbled and suddenly plopped down behind you.

“Nehh?”, he hugged your plush form and whispered, “Let’s rest together, yeah?”

You looked behind you and were confronted with his puppy eyes, which, with the blue bruise on his cheek and the injured lip, were even more effective (he hoped at least). For a moment, he watched your internal struggle, before you just sighed and nodded.

“Fine. Let’s rest together, but this time sir – no touching or anything, yer just gonna rest for real, capiche?”

“Aye, aye ma’am.”

You looked at each other for a moment, before you both inevitably had to laugh.

Yeah.

He loved that.

The mood was just great.

Atsumu knew he had never been closer to you before in his life than in that point in time. And no Mia or someone else was going to get between you and him, not after he had finally closed that rift again after so long.

Whatever happened from now on, he just felt it everywhere in his body, his soul and heart: He got so much closer to his goal and he was not accepting any setbacks anymore.

-----------------------

next part (XVII) >> || masterlist

all characters canonically under 18 are always aged up in explicit nsfw situations ; english is not my native language so i apologize for any mistakes

Tag List: (🥺💕)

@kelly-fushiguro345

[walrus150915]

Goldenheart headcanons for when they have only started dating and were awkward as hell

(because I am a trans bi teenager who wants to experience mlm love yet can't because I'm afraid to date boys due to my dysphoria)

I noticed you people like when I make long posts like these and I love them too so I think I can share some hcs of mine about this stage of their relationship bc I have a lot honestly :]

- they started dating when they were around 16yo

- none of them actually had feelings for each other before puberty hit and they were like "damn my bestie is kinda fine- WHAT"

- Bal fell first. Ambrosius fell and broke the floor under him bc boyyyy did he fall HARD

- Bal navigated his feelings like "Ugh okay I guess that's what happens when you're friends with a handsome guy everyone has a crush on. That'll pass. That's part of puberty. Stay calm" meanwhile Ambrosius screamed in his pillow and freaked out and cried only to pretend nothing bothered him. It was hard to pretend when you literally study at the same academia/school/whatever and see each other every day bc you're best friends

- during the mutual pining era the PE lessons were DIFFICULT. Especially when they were put up against each other

- they look like friends who had no problem hugging/brushing each other's hair/being close physically in general yet when the feelings appeared, the things which used to be very easy turned torturous

- Ballister was the one to ask if Ambrosius saw that their friendship changed. Ambrosius couldn't hold it in anymore and mumbled through his confession so fast and awkward Ballister has only understood phrases like "I really like you" and "romantically I mean" and "you're very cool and that'd be sick if we became boyfriends"

- Bal turned his face to the side and muttered something like "yeah I think it would"

- and so they became boyfriends!!

- has something changed in the way they behaved around each other? Yeah but also not really. They were still besties and the physical contact became A LITTLE easier now that the sorta relationship they had was clear between them, but they just couldn't help but blush while touching each other

- their first kiss was a mess dude😭😭

- Ambrosius wanted it to go as smoothly as possible so he watched romantic movies and practiced kissing with his hand (embarrassing? Yeah I now) but when it was time to finally show off his skills he panicked and pressed his lips to Ballister's for a few seconds then his nose almost bled out bc of the nerves (not me projecting on Ambrosius but that's literally what happened to me when I had my first kiss)

- Ballister seemed calm about this whole thing but it doesn't mean he was. When they had their first ever date he brushed his teeth extra clear just to make sure he'd smell good during their first kiss. Bro was THRILLED

- basically Ambrosius was overthinking this and Ballister was... Also overthinking I'M SORRY THESE TWO ARE HORRIBLE

Now the headcanons are for the time when they've been dating for like more than a few months and have kinda got used to each other in this new ~romantic~ way

- Bal's way of flirting wasn't really obvious since he doesn't look like a guy who can come up with romantic compliments on the spot, however I think he touched Ambrosius if he wanted to express his feelings for him. Stroke his bleach-damaged hair, make their pinkies intertwine, put his head on his shoulder and nuzzle into him - this or he'd infodump new history/physics/chemistry facts he learnt

Bal: Okay, did you know that [some really complicated science stuff I cannot describe in words because I'm a literature major]

Ambrosius, heart-eyed, no clue what he's talking about: Wow that's really interesting anyways do you want me to change my surname to Boldheart-

- Ambrosius looks like a total theatre kid so I think he often flirted with Bal by quoting some love poems they had in their curriculum. Of course he quoted their analogue of Romeo's monologue under Juliet's balcony why do you think he wouldn't

- Having said that, whenever he quoted something which referred to a woman, he changed pronouns and general words bc he's attentive like that. Sometimes it got absurd tho. "Manservant of the moon" instead of "maid" like dude😭😭😭😭

- Ballister tried his best not to laugh but also not to pass out bcuz of the amount of praise his boyfriend gave him which was actually a lot. My man is as much of a mess as Ambrosius is let's not forget that

- one day Ambrosius quoted something which was not from the curriculum but instead from Bal's favorite book. I think Bal liked adventure books about knights which sometimes included romance and I imagine the dialogue going:

Ambrosius: "And even if I had to turn against the whole world to follow you-

Them together: "-I would do it with no hesitation-"

Ambrosius: "Because you are my world, Sir Redsword"

Them: *staring at each other*

Bal, all blushing: ...that's not from the books our teacher told us to read

Ambrosius, also blushing madly: Yeah but I figured I like some variety

- That's when Bal knew this guy was his forever soulmate

- Bal used to be taller than Ambrosius for a long time of their early years but then Ambrosius got late height boost or idk how it's called. Basically dude went from 5'5 to 6'1 overnight and I know Ballister was PISSED

- these two totally kissed in the janitor's closet when they needed some privacy I'm telling you (not even in a "steamy" way although I think some sort of tension existed - cmon they were late teens bro do you really think puberty is nice to teenagers???).

- why would you get a private space where you can explore this side of your relationship safely when you can have a literal closet with racks and mops and buckets, am I right

- Ambrosius tried writing poems for Ballister they SUCKED

- Ballister still saved each and one of them. One day, he'll sort through his things to move to his own place after the wall comes down and find these yellow checkered sheets of paper, full of bad rhymes and silly words. He'd bring all of them to his (and Ambrosius's) new apartment

Okay now the last hcs which I honestly have no idea how to call but umm ✨what people around them thought about their blooming romance✨

- Queen Valerin understood something was up on the spot. Like, for a straight woman, her gaydar worked flawlessly😭 it was enough for her to see them hide the fact that they held hands to go "I know what you are". She was pretty supportive although she did ask Bal on their one-to-one meeting to "use protection" like all moms do🖐

- The Director also knew something was up but her reaction was more like "Sir Ambrosius will grow out of it". As you know, he never did LMAOO

- Todd was hilariously oblivious despite teasing Ambrosius like "HAHA LOLLLL GOLDENLOIN WHY R U ALWAYS WITH THIS COMMONER GUY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HIM OR SOMETHING". He did it in a cishetero "haha gotta mock my homie for being gay" yet DID NOT REALIZE his homie was, indeed, gay

- some cadets could pick up on it, some didn't

- anyway I think the general public knew nothing about it bc if they did that'd be a scandal worse than Henry the 8th's when he created a new religion bc his loins were on fire thanks to Anne Boleyn

ALSO GET THIS LITTLE PIECE (which I don't really like bc of the coloring choices) OF THEM :D

I swear Ambrosius isn't yellow irl😭😭 I'm myself asian I now better than that

That's about it I guess! Lemme know what you think (if you wanna use/adopt these hcs, feel free to do whatever you want with them! Just tag me so I could see it wjsjjajaj!!!!) ;3

[mrbubblyurchin]

My thoughts on Imperial Commando and Republic Commando as a whole

RC

So, I started and finished Imperial Commando on an eight hour plane ride last night. This means I am done with the series overall and this will be me going over it and the characters. But let’s discuss my thoughts on this book first

Needless to say, I was disappointed. It’s not that it was bad or anything, it just wasn’t as good as Order 66 in my opinion, and, of course, even though it’s the last book of the series, the series was left incomplete, leaving me a bit disappointed in the end.

The author obviously planned on writing more Republic Commando books after this one, with how the Jusik and Arla plot line was set up, how the age reversing was going, and how Darman planned to kill the Jedi, but obviously, the sequel was never made, and thus, the overall story feels incomplete. But, enough about that. Let’s talk about RC as a whole.

Oh, and I’ll be completely omitting Karen Traviss from this conversation. She as a person has nothing to do with the plot or characters, which are the things I will be judging today. If you have a problem with me talking about the actual book and not ranting about the author who wrote it, then too bad. 

Let’s start off at the beginning. With Omega. Omega Squad was definitely a pleasant surprise for me. I enjoyed each of their characters and liked how most of them found peace in the end. That being said, I do have some notes.

The biggest is Atin. I feel like after Triple Zero he kind of fell into the background besides when he married Laseema in Order 66. (And his relationship with her fell into the background as well) And he felt practically invisible in Imperial Commando. And I get why Niner and Dar were more in focus for that story, but it would’ve been nice to see some Atin. Also, he’s he only OG Omega member who’s POV we never got to see. 

Next up, Niner. Niner got two POV’s in the series, in both the first and last books. And those books were where I enjoyed him the best. Niner was a solid leader for the squad, and was loyal to them through and through, especially in his friendship with Darman. He didn’t fade as much as Atin, but I still wish he had been a little more prevalent throughout the series.

Then we have Fi. Fi is my favorite from the squad still, and I love seeing him whenever he appears. His one liners are great, and to be honest, he’s kind of the opposite of Niner here. He was very prevalent for books 2-4, but fell into the background in the first and last book. He still appeared more than Atin in book 5, but I barely recall even seeing Parja. (Which was sad cuz I loved the two of them together)

The last of the OG Omega, Darman. Dar is definitely a strong character, and he has a very heavy theme of being used, manipulated, and lied to throughout the books. By the Kaminoans, the Jedi, and even Kal, Etain, and Niner at times! His mental resolve to protect Kad at all costs is what is barely keeping him together after Etain died, and while he does resolve to hunt Jedi at the end of the book, it’s a nice full circle moment to see that while Darman thought his one true purpose at the beginning of the series was to be a soldier, he now sees he was destined for a greater one all along. Being a father. 

Next let’s move on to Ordo, Corr, the Jedi, and Mandos. We got a LOT to cover here.

Ordo- Ordo is definitely one of my favorites. Him and Besany are cute and great and I love both of them. I like all the moments he gets throughout the series. However, I do think he was focused on a little too heavily. While I do wish some of the other Nulls like Jaing, Prudii, or Kom’rk had been given some time to shine, I still loved Ordo and I think he’s great. (That being said, I will be omitting the rest of the Nulls because I really only know enough to talk about Mereel and A’den for a couple sentences)

Corr- A really sarcastic, witty, and funny guy that did not deserve what he got. Losing both of his hands was tragic, but, with lost flesh, he gained a new family in Clan Skirata. He was a nice addition to Omega after Fi had to leave, and I liked him a lot. (He and Jilka were pretty cute in book 5)

Etain- So… Etain. I like her, I really do. But sometimes, there are some choices that I cannot get behind. (Like how she purposefully went behind Dar’s back to get pregnant in Triple Zero) But even still, she is a good person, and she just wanted to be a good mother to Kad and live a happy life with Darman, and she didn’t deserve to meet the end she got.

Bardan- An all around solid character. I liked his development from bright eyed Padawan to rugged ex Jedi Mandalorian, and I think his sense of responsibility to Clan Skirata and also to Kad is very important. He made sure to put others before himself no matter the consequences, a quality with several others lack. 

Walon- A hardened Mando bounty Hunter with good intentions at heart. (Probably). I mean, he did save Jilka, lend Kal credits, and he also did try to find Sev. He cares. Even if it is in his own twisted way sometimes. (Still, what he did to Atin was brutal)

Besany- Love her. Since the beginning, she was all about standing up for the clones and their rights. She cared about them as people and not as property, and she saw their differences as well, and what made them unique, and she really does love Ordo, and I think the two of them are very sweet.

Kal- Oh boy. Here we go. I know I’m gonna get hate for this. Here I go. Brace yourselves. If you need tissues to cry, grab them. 

I like Kal Skirata.

…

…

…

Okay. I’ll continue. I am not going to say I agree with him on everything, and I’m not going to pretend he is a saint or anything. But I like his character. He cares about his family, and he does make mistakes. Everybody does. The problem is everybody has gotten so used to pointing out Kal’s every mistake that they refuse to acknowledge anything he did right. And guess what? Kal makes mistakes. He’s flawed. He’s not perfect. And that’s the point. Characters are flawed. People are flawed. They aren’t perfect. And neither is Kal. And HE ADMITS THAT IN BOOK 5. In fact, NY ADMITS IT TOO! She acknowledges that Kal taking over the Nulls and not seeing the similarities to the Jedi taking children is arrogant! She acknowledges that! And Kal acknowledges that and his flaws later in the book! Kal is arrogant, yes, but he sees that! He knows it! So before you go around saying how Kal thinks he is some saint god or whatever. He doesn’t. And there is proof of that in the books.

So, uhh, yeah. Overall, I think the Republic Commando series was good. There were some things that definitely could have been improved upon, but I liked it. I liked the story, and I liked the characters, so yeah.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[donnerpartyofone]

I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.

It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.

Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.

I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.

[athene-owl]

Dream Video Bullshit

I decided against my better judgement to watch Dream's latest video. Here are the main things I wanted to say - if I don't mention something it's probably because I actually agree with what Dream said or don't know/care. A lot of this is rambling and venting because I'm annoyed and refuse to give him/his fans anymore of my energy or time to polish up this post.

1:16 - Dream says his accusers will make it harder for 'real victims in the future' to be believed and I just need to say that this felt like a really brash and entitled thing to start the video up with. Now you wanna care about victims Dream? After what happened last year? We'll get to that.

3:40 - This is a very small thing but Dream says here that in one video while he was playing Minecraft muted, he was being 'interviewed' by a SWAT Team member next to him in the room and I just can't help but question the validity of this because how did this happen? You were swatted and had someone in the room with you asking questions and you divided your attention between that and still playing Minecraft? You didn't just stop playing to focus on the SWAT Team? This barely matters but it fascinates me.

5:09 - Dream really goes out of his way here to point out that his speedrun cheating was discovered by a cheater and plays a clip showing how illegitimate this guy's speedruns were. This absolutely feels like him shifting blame and trying to paint this rando as a bad person to somehow excuse his own cheating which he says was unintentional. At 5:30 he says him and a developer had ruled out him using a mod - how did they determine this when he WAS proven to have used a mod and insisted he didn't realize? He doesn't elaborate.

6:30 - Here Dream acknowledges his behavior towards the speedrunning mods was bad and takes responsibility for it which is good but does not erase all the drama and bullshit he caused. When that whole thing went down, his stans passionately took his side but now that he's admitted to acting wrong they are fawning over his maturity - you guys sure didn't have a problem with it back then. At 6:40 he makes the point that the speedrun was 3 years ago and a lot has changed and I just don't see that change when he's still causing dumbass drama every week. Good on him for taking his videos down and apologizing to the mods but, again, his stans were all enthusiastically on his side then so I don't want to hear them now praising him for doing the right thing when clearly his behavior wasn't enough to turn them away from him 3 years ago. This is a trend with Dream's stans.

10:02 - Here Dream admits he was wrong to immediately and publicly disregard the info dug up about his domestic abuser friend which OK, good to admit, but 2 things - 1. Why, only a year ago, were you so quick and eager to disregard reports of abuse and 2. How did the fandom react to this. Again, if people took his side and disbelieved the victim, they can't now be so proud of him for admitting he was wrong. This does NOT instill confidence in me that him and his community would take later allegations against Dream seriously. Hot take, but I really think his initial response was despicable, irresponsible and I just feel sorry for the guy's victim in all of this. At 11:48 he pats himself on the back for how he handled the situation (besides initially brushing off the evidence) and ends with "I made it clear I didn't support domestic violence even at the detriment of one of my oldest friendships" and I'm sorry but given how Dream conducts himself, that feels like a manipulative little ploy to look good and garner pity for doing the bare minimum. Again, how many of his stans leapt at the chance to brush aside abuse reports and documented evidence and what did he do?

EDIT: Previously I thought the info on the friend was revealed by the victim herself speaking up but I was corrected on this and now know it was the friend's info being leaked and people snooping. Check my reblog for more info.

15:00 - He defends his Snapchat use with the fact that he promotes content on there but the photos consist of him doing random shit in his day-to-day life so I fail to see how that promotes his content rather than feeding his fans' parasocial relationship with him lol. At 15:20 he admits he isn't the one liking weird fanart on his account and 1. He's just admit he's been lying about running his own account for years and 2. Did he ever speak against the weird sexualisation in his community? Why did he allow his friend to keep liking weird shit, only messaging her to unlike it after the fact rather than laying the rules out? Idk this is just weird man. At 15:23 he shows a tweet by a defender of his stating that clearly he runs his account because if he had someone else running it, there would be a disclaimer. His fans gave him the benefit of the doubt and chastised others for not doing the same only to be proven wrong themselves lmao

17:08 - Dream claims he 'doesn't take himself too seriously' and I do not fucking believe that. This man has the ego of a planet and is lashing out at others every fucking week over it. Be fucking for real.

20:10 - Here Dream admits that him calling his fanbase 'kittens' was weird and he regrets it but also insists the whole 'Discord kitten' meme wasn't big back then and, this is purely anecdotal, but I absolutely think it was. Anyway, again, I wonder how many of his fans defended this back in the day and how many of those same people will now agree with Dream it was embarrassing and weird solely because HE now says it is and not because they can critically look at his behavior themselves. I'm skeptical of him insisting it wasn't meant in a weird way and he randomly chose the term 'kitten' because everyone back then instantly connected it to the Discord kitten thing but ok.

21:29 - Dream discusses the whole 'selling baby photos of himself' thing which I had never heard about before and am a bit gagged by. Anyway, here he specifically points out that celebrities have sold their baby photos before as if that helps his case at all, he explains the hard drive wristband thing was the product BUT it is still insanely weird and egotistical to me to include baby photos on that drive. He compares this to a biography but, again, this does not help the parasocial allegations because what the fuck has he done in his life to warrant a biography and what sort of audience needs this? I know this might be sacrilege to say but uhh this was objectively weird of him to do and he cannot sway my mind on that. Also for someone who doesn't take himself seriously, he sure was happy to quote himself on the hard drive???

36:09 - Finally into the more serious shit. Here, Dream points out the fact that Amanda was defending him when the whole face reveal happened 10 days before her allegations came out + liking his tweets 2 days before the allegations. I just wanna say this really means little, victims can be in denial or have complicated feelings. Also, at 36:18 he then says that she made her accusations because of the hate train following the face reveal and she wanted to get in on it even though he just said she was supportive of him and defending him? He's spinning this both ways - saying she was supportive to discredit her claim and then saying she suddenly hated him to also discredit her claim.

38:05 - He gets his mum involved to prove a point and I cannot emphasize enough how meaningless this is, even if its the truth you expect me to think your mother is unbiased and wouldn't lie to cover your ass?

40:06 - Bold of Dream to criticize Amanda for not treating the situation seriously when Dream stans are running around calling this shit a 'drontroversy'. At 44:20 he even says this isn't online drama. He also uses the image below as proof of her wanting him or whatever which 1. Doesn't matter when discussing underage exploitation because her behavior would never warrant her being taken advantage of and 2. Also shows him making weird sexual comments which he vehemently denied doing earlier.

42:12 - Dream asks how, if Amanda is dishonest about some things, how can anything she says be trusted? Why can't that same logic be applied to Dream for things he has no actual evidence for? He makes this argument again at 43:20 - if she's lying about the photo, how do you know she's not lying about everything else? Not a great argument from Dream of all people.

44:00 - AGAIN this man relies on victim-blaming rhetoric to make his point - "Go to the police. Or sue me. The standard of proof for you suing me is only proving that it's more likely than not that you're telling the truth. 51%. Come take my money." The insinuation that it's easy or simple for women to take men to court and sue them for sexual crimes is laughable and shows a real arrogance and ignorance to Dream. Again, regardless of how true the allegations were, women have gone to court with every type of evidence under the sun and still got nothing so what makes Dream assume this is an easy process? Do victims need to sue their abusers to be telling the truth? With all of his money and privilege, would Dream not be at a huge advantage in court? Weak argument that really feels disrespectful. At 44:15 he makes a little remark about how in court, her 'weird comments' and 'character' would have to be questioned and answered for. Despite the fact that any comments she made as a minor would be irrelevant in this case, despite the fact that someone's 'character' doesn't automatically determine whether they're a victim or not, this is also a funny comment because he's right - yeah, in court the female accuser would be picked apart and judged for shit that doesn't matter. Good thinking there Dream, really making your case!

44:25 - Here he gives a little lecture to Amanda about her hurting 'real victims' and again, as a reminder, this man publicly disregarded those concerned about intricate reports of abuse, has watched as his fans doxed and abused countless people and yet positions himself as an authority on deciding who is a real victims and who isn't. What also makes shit hard for victims is highly popular men like him convincing people to instantly disbelieve women, send them endless hate and make ignorant comments about how victims act. I don't want to hear any moral lecturing from Dream of all people about others 'hurting real victims'. Argue with the wall.

He then has a whole section on Nick Cantu and let me make this clear - Nick being a violent asshole has nothing to do with Dream's behavior or the allegations so I don't care and I do in fact think he focused on it to make himself look better.

57:50 - Dream wants to talk about the dangers of swatting and doxxing. You know, his own stans have doxxed people and once endangered a black person by sending police to their house for a welfare check in an area where welfare checks had resulted in black people being murdered by cops. He says that he always condemned this behavior but shows no proof of this. What actions did he directly take to discourage and stop this and help the people his own supporters had hurt? If anyone has receipts on anything he's done to help, feel free to show me because he provides no evidence of doing anything and I am really not amused by him skirting around his own community's doxxing of people.

1:00:20 - So here he plays the infamous moaning video in it's entirety but has it muted? I get it's gross but when the audio is the whole point, it seems so useless to play it muted. Just a weird choice but it is easy to find elsewhere.

1:09:28 - Makes another statement here that if something is disproven in court then that means it didn't happen which is blatantly untrue, esp when we're talking about sexual crimes. Very ignorant thing to say and really annoys me with how much he's positioning himself as a champion for victims.

After this Dream does a lot more talking about how people treat victims and it's mostly good stuff but AGAIN this is coming from the guy whose fans have doxxed countless people and who instantly mocked people for caring about serious abuse reports. He never makes this parallel, he never points out that he has undoubtedly done more harm to victims with his bullshit, he just puts himself on a moral high ground and its really obnoxious. I cannot emphasize enough how fucking annoying and self congratulatory this man is holy fuck.

EDIT: Initially I had a point here about how little Dream went into the 24 page document released compiling evidence against him, but I was informed this came out right before the video's release, a day before or on the same day it appears. I thought incorrectly it had come out earlier, I will say I still believe he needs to address this in the future, check my reblog for more details.

1:17:00 - This is a doozy and will be my closing point. Dream spends a bit talking about 'false allegations' and calls it a popular trend, happening to hundreds of online creators. IRL, false allegations for rape are severely exaggerated and, if anything, rape is horribly under reported. Women are significantly more likely to be raped then men are to be 'falsely accused' and, when you factor in how horrible the justice system is towards victims, rape culture, how difficult it can be to prove something like rape and how low the rates of successful convictions are, the truth is that a lot of 'disproven' cases are true and were just brushed aside. Furthermore, all crimes have 'false allegations' yet the only one to ever be discussed is rape because it's an easy out. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that rape has comparatively low rates of 'false allegations' compared to other crimes but idk. I know the internet is different, I know people make up lies all the time but I am NOT fucking keen on how much Dream emphasizes false allegations as a common thing when IRL they are not. I am NOT looking forward to every content creator from now on claiming its just 'false accusations' and people falling for it because their favourite Minecraft YouTube insisted it was an epidemic. I am NOT keen for discussions of victims and rape culture to be dominated by this shit and for victims to continue to be silenced and disbelieved. I think you have to be very, very fucking careful when talking about 'false allegations' and I do not think Dream of all people is remotely capable of giving this the nuance it needs. This is gonna be so fucking unbearable in the future to deal with and every single fandom will latch onto this to brush off potential red flags, I guarantee.

[basilthesnakingthing]

headcanon that everyone in the Pines family is aroace except Dipper.

l didn’t see it with Mabel at first, but she just cannot make a relationship work with anyone. She clearly really likes lovey dovey romancey stuff, and she’s clearly talented at match making and whatnot. So she should have a date herself right? She should be the model of dateable material. Right? This is what I think her thoughts are. I think she tries to match herself with someone because she thinks she should, but in reality she guides others to a treasure she cannot possess. Being in a relationship herself was never something she would enjoy. Plus this makes the whole episode where Mabel rejects Gideon before they ever find out he’s evil make a lot more sense. I never understood what her problem with the situation was, it seemed like everything she had been wanting, but instead she was just generally uneasy. Actually, she seems like she doesn’t understand what it’s like to have a crush at all (as opposed to Dipper), she just knows what you’re “supposed to do” with one.

Stan had a whole episode dedicated to trying to get him a date with Lazy Suzan only for it to turn out not to be his thing, so there’s basically proof of this for him. Maybe he’s just aromatic tho, cause he had to be attracted to her in the first place in order to wanna do that? And then . . I know you guys want Ford to be gay because of Fiddleford and Bill, but (1). A solid, deeply personal friendship between two people who work well together and have chemistry is the BASIS for other types of relationships but doesn’t automatically progress into anything else given time and isn’t necessarily less than it could be (despite the phrase “could be more than friends” which is stupid and should be retired). And (2). You can feel a deeply intense admiration for someone without it being romantic. I imagine Ford felt the same way about Bill back when they weren’t hostile as he does about the big complex perfection of math as demonstrated by physics. I know that feeling. It’s euphoric. You can feel it about an object. You can feel it as an acepec individual (yes I have decided to project onto the six fingered danger magnet man). And honestly I wish there were more examples of both of these platonic relationships in media. In my opinion they suddenly get way less meaningful and interesting as soon as you say it’s romantic or that there’s sexual tension.

Dipper tho, Dipper is so flipping straight you don’t even know.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

can I req some Grayson and Avery hcs (them as friends ofc bcs we stan Avery Jameson)

grayson and avery (as friends) head canons

of course! i've been wanting to make head canons for them as friends ever since i finished the book but never got the courage. hope you like these<3. as always, if anyone has requests, i'd be more than happy to do them! (i have insomnia and do some of these when i can't sleep, so i have plenty of time. this also means you'll probably find spelling mistakes but eh). i might make a part two cause i loveee their friendship.

this one was in my avery hcs but i love it sm, i'm going to include it here too: avery loves taking pictures of nature, and, bc grayson loves it too, they have a shared aesthetic insta account where they post all their pics.

grayson buys her clothes he thinks she would like when he's out shopping for himself.

he always buys her coffee when he's out to bring home to her bc 1. she overworks herself and needs energy and 2. she lovessss coffee (like me :))

he taught her how to play the piano bc her mom used to love listening to the piano and she wanted to learn how to play

sometimes they'll just work together while listening to music

avery's the reason grayson confessed to lyra. she sat down and had a long talk with him about how not everyone was out to hurt him. she told him that if she actually hated him, she would've left by now (gray is convinced everyone ends up leaving him so.. obvi he'd be scared to confess. avery had to convince him otherwise)

gray felt guilty his father kidnapped her, and wanted her to feel safe so he installed reallyyy sturdy locks on her door that are literally impenetrable

grayson has an account dedicated to the photos he takes of people. he loves taking pics of avery (and the others, he's not still crushing on her) and posting them there. there are literally never any captions, he has no bio, and it's extremely hard to find (avery found it tho and told xander about it)

he knows she loves murder mysteries so when he goes out, he buys her some and places them on her bed when he comes home.

avery doesn't like that he overworks himself (hypocrite bc she does the same) so sometimes she'll steal some of his important assignments and do them for him.

gray had a ratty old chair at his desk that was actually quite painful to sit on. he didn't tell anyone and was too lazy to buy himself one, but avery noticed he was stiff and knew the chair was the problem (how? idk). she bought him a new one.

gray thinks avery gives the bestttt hugs so, whenever he feels down, he'll ask for a hug (he lovessss hugs sm). after a while, he stops asking for permission and just hugs her.

avery also loves hugs (she didn't receive many as a child, only her mom gave her some). jameson knows bc yk they're dating so he hugs her all the time, but she also told grayson and he always hugs her goodbye at night before bed.

once, grayson and avery were doing an interview regarding the foundation (cause in tfg, it was revealed he works there), and the interviewer started asking really personal questions about avery's relationship with jameson (he also told her she looked hot cause he's a creep). avery was told by alisa to not say anything in order to not get cancelled (cause she could totally defend herself. she's a girlboss, she doesn't need a man to do it for her). grayson stood up, grabbed avery, said the nastiest things to the guy, and left. avery was really uncomfortable after the whole fiasco and had a panic attack. grayson hugged her through it.

avery loves sushi (i mentioned this in my avery hc post) so when the foundation is holding a meeting, grayson will bring her some and they'll share it

vogue once requested they do a photoshoot together. fans thought they looked so hot (not together tho but individually, averyjameson stans rise)

every year, on avery's mother's death anniversary, grayson buys her flowers to cheer her up

sometimes she asks gray for relationship advice regarding jamie (he always helps)

i mentioned this in my jamie/gray hc post (i believe), but grayson loves taking pics of avery and giving them to jamie

grayson feels most comforable venting to avery about his issues bc he feels like she really truly listens without immediately trying to give him advice (he likes talking to nash too for the same reason)

gray is always telling avery all of jamie's secrets

in another post, i said he'd be averyjameson's wedding photographer, in another (or the same one) he would be jamie's best man, but i also think he could be the officiator (multitasking king)

gray and avery go on walks together to get pics for their shared insta account i mentioned earlier

whenever gray feels like taking about emily (extremely rare), he goes to avery cause she didn't know her and wouldn't be afraid to point out all of her shit (gray appreciates that she states what's on her mind. he doesn't like when people lie, or keep the truth from him)

gray books her spa appointments for her to actually take a moment and take care of herself

gray loves hearing about her life before she inherited the money (he admires her strength)

whenever someone is mean to xander, grayson and avery (and max) absolutely destroy them (honestly the entire family does, no one hurts xander and gets away with it)

speaking of the spa appointment for avery, sometimes he joins her

grayson loves skincare and introduced it to her properly. they now sometimes do it together.

avery gives gray relationship advice (this dude is afraid of ruinning everything so he runs to her at any minor inconvenience)

sometimes avery falls asleep in their shared office (they have one to discuss things about the foundation) and gray brings her a blanket (sometimes he calls jamie to carry her to their bedroom)

grayson loves to talk about the romance books he reads to her.

[percico-sea-of-darkness]

Imo Nico saying "You're not my type," and skipping away to see Will was Nico trying to preserve some of his pride/dignity.

I mean, his actions throughout PJO & HoO are literally love confessions. He chooses Percy, turning his back on Hades, and only goes back to Hades on Percy's request. Nico sends his friend to help Percy in hell (literally more than anyone else did to help Percy). He sticks with the Argo II crew despite literally all of them besides Hazel being extremely rude/unsettled by him for Percy.

So it's like. Nico has laid his heart bare for Percy? But Percy is in a relationship with someone else and Nico doesn't really know what Percy thinks about him - other than being convinced that Percy doesn't love him. So he's pulling himself together and trying to show that no, he's not hung up on Percy. He's not pining. He's not crying over the one sided love, and feelings of rejection. And by playing his feelings as less serious than they actually are, he's enabling himself to continue to have a friendship with Percy - since by playing off his affections as a crush rather than painfully in love - it's less awkward that Percy don't return his feelings. So they can move on and resume their friendship. That's imo anyway. It was self preservation. @hermesmyplatonicbeloved

Oh, totally!

Sorry for responding until now, but I haven't been able to be very active on my networks lately :)

But bringing up this topic, if I had been in Nico's position, I think I would have done something very similar, if not the same. Imagine this situation: Having to be Perc#beth's spectator. That not only did they practically all their missions together, but important gods, such as Aphrodite and practically the ENTIRE fucking camp, did everything possible for Perc#beth to finally come together. And seeing firsthand how Percy practically gave his all to the people he cared about (Nico never really realized how important he was to Percy, since haha ​​I think it's obvious to anyone in love and hurt), and Annabeth being territorial with Percy just gave Nico the idea that the two of them just can't be, it doesn't work, it's impossible. His low self-esteem in conjunction with the pain of losing his loved ones, his loneliness and all the pain he had to go through to protect Percy was enough for him to not only start wanting to lie to himself and others in order to get some relief to his pain. And besides, he was so used to people pushing him away, that the first guy who practically forces him to be by his side is obviously the person Nico is going to cling to, to say "I'm getting over it" when in reality he's not.

So. Nico gave too much, and wanting to feel better about everything he had done, he "he confess no confess." I'm a witness that not telling your feelings to a person can cause you a lot of problems, since there was never really closure. Your mind is always thinking about 'what if', even if you don't want it to.

So the best way for Nico, and I think for any sane person in his situation, to not generate even more pain than one already has and not put oneself in a compromising situation is to confess not confess: Totally minimize your feelings, saying that they are from the past and something temporary (giving the other person to understand that you became interested but you don't have any problem now, that the unilateral nature of the situation doesn't bother you at all.)(HAHAHA its funny because it actually does). And even more so being in Nico's situation, that practically seconds before confessing, Percy boasted about his future with Annabeth. That was the final blow. It's a total NO to Nico, and like a normal person, he saved what little dignity he had left (you know, the whole situation with Cupid and what follows) and left with the only person who was behind him (because obviously Nico would be tired of just chasing, it's normal to want to be chased, but that's not a confirmation of romantic feelings, it's just a need, and more of a lonely and 'needed of love' person). So, I totally agree.