#and now it is nearly midnight but it feels like its 3 am lmao

[wenn-ich-tanzen-will]

.

[dualityvn]

i am giving myself a brain break from my other obligations by writing you another unhinged theory post. (and because i miss sending you these wait who said that) enjoy <3

ight so, i was close last time and my main points then were [redacted] and [redacted] (bc i don't know if this is gonna be closer or not so i dunno if ur gonna post it) since one of those points has been all but confirmed due to recent ask answers and you not posting my theory, im gonna skip right over top of it. ( i am trying to be vague you'll get the picture)

So instead were gonna talk about the part im pretty sure i got wrong, or at least not close, which is where Tenebris/ maybe Keith? still up in the air on if Keith is aware when he's not in direct control, go when not physically present in the world. Due to being able to give ask answers more weight now i do think Tenebris is at least visible to most other people. It could be that as they've both grown, Tenebris has become able to hide his presence a little bit better, resulting in Keith being able to have negative relationships with his exs because why else would anyone think to hurt the poor flower boy when he has a literal monster standing behind him. unless they were just stupid, which is a very real possibility because of the aforementioned being mean to the sweet and adorable Keith. Tenebris' general existence provides some reasoning behind Keiths' parents actions, once again not excusing them because they suck and i hate them, but in one of the asks you said that their relationship with Keith would probably have at least been better if they had only had Keith alone, they didn't want Tenebris too. (which once again sucks i get that its not the ideal situation to have some sort of violent 'monster' living a very attached life with your son but maybe if you had treated them both with human decency and they wouldn't be such 'monsters' huh? bet you didn't think about that did you. god i hate them)

Moving on.

Sudden thought that was Not planned for this, but what if the line "he is speaking, speaking for me" from the song means like, Tenebris can see the world when he's not physically present but cant talk, he has to talk through Keith. and Keith is just like, a prisoner in his own body when this happens. oooo that's neat. i had something else planned but that's a cool concept im gonna rock with that.

im fairly certain this isnt going to get posted so hi nightmare how are you. hope ur feeling better, shitty life stuff sucks, but it'll get better i pwomise mwah (that and the heart earlier are platonic btw i wouldn't wanna step on Tads creators toes and get excommunicated from the church of Tad that would be very unradical)

Speaking of Tad since this is just me talking to you now apparently, i saw the outcry for a Tad theory and while I do have Thoughts i don't have anything super concrete yet. Plus notamonsterfucker wanted to work with me on theory stuff sometime and i lov them so we're thinking about Tad Together so it'll be a bit unless your boyfriend wants to feed us some more crumbs. Thatd be pretty cool, but no pressure obviously. This isn't a Tad blog and i as much as i enjoy Tad, i enjoy Keith and Tenebris more so keep making what you wanna make and i will continue to stew on your vagueness.

uuhh not much theory there at the end but yeah. also this received even less than my usual amount of proofreading because it is nearly midnight here and i am Tired so if its is unreadable that is why.

goodnight

I'm gonna show this, cause it still doesn't mention their explicit situation. Last one had something that was spot on, hehe. But yeah, you're doing good, but some things are still not quite there yet

And hello, I'm doing better today, thank you for asking :D

I'm glad you guys are bonding over Tad lore, lmao. I know my bf is cooking something, cause that ending to the restaurant ad had a sus end. Or maybe he has no idea what he's doing, who knows? He's definitely enjoying the attention Tad is getting though.

[yeojaa]

called a thousand times.

prompt:  “did you miss me enough to drink or did you drink enough to miss me?”   (orig.)

this drabble is more an exercise in catharsis and serves as my first (!!!) jin piece.  i dedicate this to my loves @jinsearthh​ and @seokjinssi​ lmao.  enjoy!

pairing.  ksj x reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  angst.  but like, not really terrible angst.  just semi-bad angst.  wc.  1.8k.

The call comes in the dead of night while you’re curled up in linen sheets and comfortably drooling into an unbelievably worn white plush.  It buzzes loudly in your ears, vibrating obnoxiously against your pillow.  Sleeping with your phone in bed is a bad habit you’ve never really been able to break.  

You’re barely awake - caught in that strange in-between land of lucidity - when you hazard a glance at the time and number.  2:47 AM.  Far too late for you to be receiving calls - especially from contact you don’t have saved. 

“Hello?”

“Hi.”  It’s a voice you’d never expected to hear.  A voice you haven’t heard in forever, clear as bells through the phone line.  “It’s Jin.”

You’re wide awake now. 

“Hello?”  It’s terribly jarring.  It jolts you straight up in the bed that hasn’t felt his warmth in close to three years, every notch of your spine electrified by the simple sound.  It rings, bouncing around in your ears.  

You should reply.  You don’t know how.  

“Are you there?”  Uncertainty and something else - something heavy and medicinal - coats syllables and turns them into molasses.  It drips off each vowel, rounding each consonant.  Your entire world feels like it’s spinning, tilted on its axis by this strange happening. 

“Jin?”  It doesn’t sound how it should - wishful and more than a little surprised.  It trips heavy off your tongue, splitting the darkness with the radiance of your hope.  

He laughs on the other end.  You realise now why he sounds different, the familiar squeak of his amusement dulled by liquor.  He’s drunk or at least, on his way to it.  The telltale signs are there:  the faintest hiccough after every second inhale, the vaguely nasally first syllable, the dulling of his rain-streaked laughter. 

“It’s me,”  he confirms, far more comfortable than he should be.  The relief practically radiates through the phone, further severing the strings that bid you back to bed.  “I didn’t know if you’d pick up or if you even had the same number still.”

At least he’s honest, you think. 

The conversation is carried on like there’s nothing at all strange, as if he - Kim Seokjin - hasn’t just called up his ex-girlfriend at quarter to three in the morning. 

“How are you?  Did I wake you up?”

You know your silence is rude.  It’s stifling in a way that even he can’t combat, sitting stony between you two as you try to wrap your mind around the current situation.  

“Hello?”  He repeats, vaguely uncertain but not otherwise bothered.  That bothers you. 

“Why did you call?”  You can’t help the question.  It pierces the quiet before you can catch it, disappearing into the night like a thief.  It takes with it all of your turmoil, tucking years of hurt in its pockets to wear on its sleeves. 

That seems to catch him off guard.  He inhales once - a sharp thing, right through his front teeth.  

“Ah, yeah.  I—“  You wonder whether he’s even given this any thought or if he’s just been driven to it by the beguiling hand of liquor.  You wouldn’t put it past him, though he’s never been one to drink himself into bad ideas.  He was smarter than that. 

He pauses.  It’s long, drawn out, punctuated by city sounds you assume come from 27 floors below his apartment.  They’re muffled and unrecognisable, the din of Yongsan-gu too faraway.  

“I… was thinking of you.” 

There’s a strange confidence to his response, a self-assured calm that feels like moments before a storm.  It eases uncertainty over your limbs, still wrought with sleep and sluggish.  He shouldn’t sound this way after so long, as if he’d never left.  A part of it feels nice, warm and welcomed into the cavity behind your ribs, tucked neatly alongside the organ that stutters because of him;  the other feels like a knife to the heart, slotted right between the vulnerable spaces you’d shown him.

You echo him in uncertainty.  “Thinking of me?”  

“I wanted to apologise.”

Now that’s the last thing you’d expected.  

“Apologise for what?”  Not that there aren’t so many things Jin owes you - so many I’m sorrys that would never make up for the rivers you’d wept, the nights you hadn’t slept.  

“How I left things.  How we left things.”  Something not quite a laugh comes, dresses his words up prettily like a sinner in his Sunday best, eager to learn and repent and do better.  “I know I can’t undo the past but I’m sorry for the ways I hurt you.”

It’s so vague even you aren’t sure what he’s referring to.  The brief but blinding relationship you’d had with him?  The heartbreaking, determined way in which he’d broken up with you?  The months thereafter when he’d still warmed your bed, where the strange in-between was no longer between awake and dreams, but love and not-love?  The pieces he’d left you to pick up yourself when he’d disappeared, seemingly out of the blue? 

“I still think about you a lot.  I miss you.  I wanted to make it right.”  When he backtracks, you realise he’s far smarter than you give him credit for.  “—Try to make it right, that is.”

“Why?”  You should demand more.  You know you should.  Yet this is the only thing that comes, dripping like the tears that line your lashes, glittering jewels that you’d trade for even an ounce of understanding. 

He hesitates.  There’s a clinking glass, ice, and then a thick swallow you can hear quite clearly.  “Why?  Why what?”

“Why did you leave?”  You’re really trying - holding onto composure with a white-knuckled grip that leaves your hands bleeding - but it’s futile.  The grief is too much - a thousand pound weight that splits the frayed edge of your composure in a clean line.  “Things were…”  Weird, strange, undoubtedly a bad idea, as messing with your ex tended to be.  “Things were okay, I thought.  And then out of nowhere, you were gone.  You stopped calling.”

For three long weeks, you’d jolted awake at 3 AM, waiting for the dedicated ringtone to alert you of his call.  It never came.  You’d waited even longer after that, though you’d learnt to turn your phone to silent.

Months turned to years and then one day, nearly four months later - there he was, displayed as a missed call at just after midnight.

You’d blocked him then, for your own sanity.  And then another six months after that, you’d unblocked him.  A moment of weakness you’d all but forgotten about until now.  You’d figured it wouldn’t matter - that there was no way he’d contact you again.  So much time had passed and he was Kim Seokjin;  you were nothing but a small blip on his radar - a tiny ink splatter on the story of his life.

“You blocked me.”  Or not.  

You tuck this knowledge - his knowledge - away into the manila folder you keep stored away in a dusty cabinet, covered in yellow tape that reads Do Not Open.

“Before that.  Three years ago.”  

“I honestly… don’t remember.”  The answer stings, candour a struck match to your already miserable nerves.  “It was bad timing, I think.  We were on the phone one night.  I was heading back from filming and I just remember being so mad.”  That doesn’t surprise you.  Jin’s temper rages like a wildfire before burning out like a match.  Intense but short-lived.  “You were having a bad day, too.  You’d started your new job and you were stressed out about something not working.”

You recall it clearly - can call to mind exactly what brief you’d been working and how that night had felt awful.  You’d hardly slept, almost pushed to tears by the frustration you’d felt.  For the life of you, though, you can’t recall an argument.  You’d been happy to hear from him - found solace in the sound of his voice, even as you’d worked through pages that made you want to tear your hair out. 

“I remember you were dismissive and it just…”  You imagine he shrugs, those impossibly wide shoulders of his rolling beneath something soft and sleep-appropriate.  His brow’s probably knit, little dent forming between them as always happens when he’s faced with discomfort.  “I didn’t want to deal with it.”

It’s an honest answer, which you’re grateful for.  It sheds light where there was one.

But it also hurts far more than you’d expected, stirring to life an ugly aching sob in your chest.  One night.  One night was all it’d taken.  The realisation is sobering in its pain.

“And… now you want to apologise for that?”  It doesn’t make sense.  Not to you, at least, who holds three long years of unrequited love for a man who’d thrown you away over nothing.

“I want to apologise for a lot of stuff.”  Things he doesn’t seem ready to articulate just yet, either due to his inebriation or contrition.  “I didn’t think you’d pick up, so I’m kind of still working through it in my head.”  You can hear his smile, turned playful by alcohol.

It’s like waging war when you speak - your heart against your head.  “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“But… I miss you.” 

I miss you too, you almost say.  

“Did you miss me enough to drink or did you drink enough to miss me?”  Comes hushed instead.

Jin isn’t ready for the conversation.  You know he isn’t - can tell by how he inhales shakily, knocks back another drink that rattles ice noisily.  “That’s not fair.”

“You’re not fair,”  you return in a voice that’s meant to be scathing but seems to have found itself at the bottom of his glass, wet and diluted.  “You’re calling me because you feel bad and for whatever reason, you think I’m going to make that go away.”  

He’s not wrong - you would, in a heartbeat.  But there’s a very big difference between would and should and you’re doing your best to learn what that is, even if it hurts.  

“What do you think’s going to happen after I forgive you?  Are we just going to go back to our lives like nothing happened?”

“If you want.”

You laugh, a sound that’s brutalised by your own sadness and barely sounds like anything at all.  “And what if I don’t want that?  What if I want you in my life?”  

Another pause, another drink.  There’s a part of you that worries for him.  

“You know that’s not an option.  Not right now.  We’ve got so much happening right with our comeback and then enlistment and…”  It’s a cop out.  You can see it from a mile away, a red flag raised to mock you as Jin speaks.  “I can’t give you what you want.”

“Then neither can I.”

tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​​

[scriptaed]

his side, her side | 12:02 a.m.

genre: angst/fluff/implied smut;

pairing: reader x jungkook;

length: 1.7k;

synopsis: a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be.

her side;

[12:02 A.M.] happy 420 birthday hahah

Casual yet thoughtful with a dash of humor—it’s the least embarrassing text you could muster. The clock had just struck twelve, marking the first hour of his birthday, and you had spent the past ten minutes crafting a text of four words that he would probably spend a mere three seconds skimming through. The thing is, if you were to be completely honest with yourself, two minutes is an underestimate of your total time wasted on this simple task; because truth is, you’ve been entranced by your daily reveries and nightly fantasies that were your dreams ever since your paths have intertwined for the first time on a project at work. 

Your history with him began much farther into the past than five months back, however. Aloof, cold, yet chic, Jungkook and his nicely kempt, side-swept hair had caught the eyes of every girl in your orientation group just two years prior. Perhaps it was your preference for exuberant boys or your avoidance of bad boy lookalikes, but Jungkook had left little to no impression on you during the first half of the year. Sometimes you wonder if he, too, had failed to notice you. 

Ironically, it was only when your second partner at work had pointed out the charming looks of the boy’s that you were reminded of his existence. 

“Hey, you know that guy from across our station?” she whispers under an impending fit of giggles. 

“Oh,” you pause for a moment to scavenge through a mental image of work, “you mean Jungkook?” 

“Yeah, you know him?” 

“Well, we’ve talked occasionally—” more interestingly, you’ve noticed his multiple failed attempts to befriend another man, Taehyung, who’s been pining for you in the past months… but you decide to keep that to yourself for the sake of Jungkook’s suave reputation “—but why?” 

 “Don’t you think he’s kind of cute?”

“Uh… I guess?” 

It wasn’t a lie. Really. Precisely half a year ago, the boy was just another one of your colleagues  with a slightly above average look. From meeting at orientation and occasionally bumping into each other in the coffee room, you had never paid much attention to him; but it’s almost as if your friend’s admiration had suddenly piqued a newfound interest in him… because the more you think about it, the more you’ve realized just how often you’ve crossed paths with this boy you’ve probably spoken to for less than a total of one minute. Now, you wonder: has he also come to recognize this oddity between you and him?

There was an undeniable connection, nonetheless. Between you and him, like two classmates sneaking peeks at the other, one knew of the other, despite the lack of effort to communicate. The opportunities to meet were endless, but neither made the leap to fully engage until the both of you recognized the other when you were partnered for a shared project just months prior—and ever since then, flutters of your heart has incorporated itself into your daily routine. His smirks at your dumb jokes, his primmed grin at your clumsiness, his divinely chiseled jawline, his subtle gestures of concern over your nightly walk home, and his hushed presentation of which his words were reserved for the occasional curt jokes and uncensored curses became his irressitable charm. 

Before you knew it, your friends would watch you awe over his looks of which you would claim to be his only redeeming quality. Before you knew it, your feelings grew by the second but your heart shunned the possibility out of a last resort to save an impending ache. 

He’s too good looking. Too many girls fawn over him. He has absolutely zero interest in you. He isn’t that great anyway. What does he have going for him other than that damn crooked grin of his? And his muscular build? And his overly explicit jokes that you never would have thought would come out of the mouth of a remote man like him? 

Why does fate seem to perpetually tie you down to a man like him, time after time? Perhaps it’s the hopeless romantic in you that’s speaking, but from orientation to bump-ins both inside and outside of work, you’ve started to succumb to the idea of a destiny in which fate would inevitably bring you two together. 

[3:04 a.m.] thank you! Lmao

You would soon awaken to the next morning after a night long of anxious anticipation. Your heart would panic in a frenzy at the mere heart he had sent you as a reaction to your message. 

3:04 A.M.

He must have been awake late into the night, probably playing his last round of Fortnite. You would probably tease him tomorrow over his obsession with computer games, as you always did, and he would probably laugh it off with a plea for you to stop your incessant teases.

...or, he was up with that one particular woman you had seen him chatting with at work. You were never the type to overly inspect punctuation use or time stamps—hell, you were never the one to chase in the first place—but why else would he be up so late on his birthday? The sighting of the two and their names that would pop up occasionally on your social media feed would always sting your chest—and ashamedly so. 

She’s beautiful. She’s popular. She probably got along well with Jungkook—something which you never seemed to be capable of, for your eyes would waver and your mind would blank whenever you were around him. Jungkook probably saw much more in her than you. Even though you two were the familiar ones. Even though you knew him first. Even though fate provided you endless opportunities to seize yet you would never come to do. 

This is why you deny this crush of yours with every ounce of your heart. This burning, unwarranted jealousy would be the bane of you. Your friends shall never hear of this pain nor of the butterflies in your stomach instigated by that boy’s simplest of gestures—he had replied to you with a heart, not to mention. 

It’s pathetic, but it’s enough for your foolish self; because even now, at this very moment as you lay in bed with your phone over your chest and your lips stuck in a wide grin, you relish in the ephemeral heights of cloud nine. 

Despite it all, you try to convince yourself: this would be nothing more than an infatuation, for something tells you your heart could not handle the truth of his whereabouts. 

-

his side;

[12:02 A.M.] happy 420 birthday hahah

He doesn’t realize it but an evident, crooked smile presses against his lips. She’s the first and only notification that lights up his phone screen. Aside from the distant lights of the cityscape dozens of floors below, her message illuminates his eyes amidst the darkness of the hotel room.

She’s the first to remember, he repeats to himself silently, the first to wish him well. 

“What are you looking at?”

With a simple click, he turns his phone off right as the bare chest of a woman spreads warmth against his back. She begins to press firm kisses down his neck and shoulders as her hands explored his hard abdomen along with the domains of what laid beneath the zippers to his pants. 

“Let me guess,” she muses at the lack of a response to her touches, a rare occasion for him, “is it Y/N?”

“Why do you care?” he says after a stagnant pause. 

“I don’t… unless you like her,” she watches him as he does her through the floor-length mirror. “What’s she doing texting you at midnight anyway? Something special today?” 

“Fuck if I know,” he mutters when she slips her hands underneath his waistbands.”

“Does she like you?”

The boy chuckles amusedly, “the hell? No. I’m nothing but deadweight to her for our project.”

“Did you meet her through this project?” 

“No. We’ve crossed paths multiple times before,” he recalls the shifty gaze of hers with a grin. “I don’t think she likes me.” 

“Oh? What’s there not to like?” she marvels at his muscular stature as her hands went to work. “What if she does like you, though?”

Jungkook nearly bursts into laughter—or at least the most of a laugh he could muster. The thought of Y/N’s admiration amuses him almost just as much as her peculiar actions, from her constantly flickering eyes that would avoid his gaze to the dozens of times he had easily spotted her in a crowd of many in locations that could never be by mere happenstance. 

“No,” he muses, “why would she?” 

With a meek smile and a cautious heart, she peers up to meet his eyes, “and do you… like her…?”

Like her? 

“No,” the grin from the joke before disappears from his lips, for his answer was uttered with sincerity. “Not that way. We’re barely friends…”

...at least to her.

The girl’s lips stretch from ear to ear in delight. Grabbing his phone and tossing it to the side with a newly found confidence, she turns him around to place a kiss to his lips. 

“Then why do you keep smiling at your phone like that?” 

“I am? Damn, the fuck’s wrong with me?” he quips with a lopsided grin. “Another round?” 

The girl squeals when he roughly pushes her toward the bed, the back of her knees hitting the edge as she topples onto the mattress in a fit of giggles. 

The boy doesn’t know it, but the girl takes notice of the knitted brows of his that told her his mind was elsewhere. He approaches her quicker than usual, his hands are rushed, and his lips are absentminded with the sole purpose of pursuing pleasure all in a fruitless attempt to bury his thoughts elsewhere. 

Why was he grinning? What did Y/N think of him? And what is it about her that amuses him so?

Through the remaining hours of dawn, from a room that towers over the city where he figures she must be indulging in her favorite mochi ice cream, he tries to convince himself: she would be nothing more than an infatuation, for something tells him his heart isn’t prepared for its own truth. 

[ddearddigitalddiary]

positions: Stoned Favorites

OOooooookay. She did it to me again. It’s the fact that everytime she drops an album it’s at a point in my life that’s nearly aligned with the lyrics and emotion. It’s the same shit with Taylor’s works. Either that, or I’m a normal human being like everyone else who relates to lyrics and music and makes it personal. :) Anywhoo, Ariana dropped this album today and I’ve already listened through about 15 times from start to finish. No skips for me. I think this is one of the most beautiful pieces of art she’s released. It’s 100% the most mature sounding piece vocally that she’s heard. She said in her Zach Sang interview that this album she just wanted to sing more than she normally did before in her era of bops. And giiiiirl did she DELIVER. Switching positions here now. 

Here are my favorite parts and favorite things about the sexy, flirty, fun, vulnerable, gooooorgeous art that is positions by Ariana Grande:

shut up: gorgeous freaking way to start the album. LOVE the strings. Classic Ari opener imo. okay yeah, favorite part of the song is the strings. in the chorus on the second round when her voice does the descending scale *chefs kiss*. and then the fantastical disney princess ending faded/tuned out intooooo

34+35: *giggle* JUST GIMME THEM BABIES. this song is my first favorite from this album. beautiful ass strings and it’s a song about 69ing. GIMME MORE. i been drinking coffee!! and i been eating healthy!! you know i keep it squeaky!! saving up my energy!! *for sex*. favorite part of this song by far is this beautiful, sexy ass BRIDGE- baby you might need a seatbelt when i ride it, ima leave it open like a door come inside it, even though i’m wifey you can hit it like a side chick, don’t need no side dick no, got the neighbors yelling EARTHQUAKE, 4.5 when i make the BED SHAKE, put it down heavy even though it’s lightweight, we started at midnight, go til the sunrise, done at the same tie, but who’s counting the time when we got it for life, i know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, YOU SUCH A DREAM COME TRUE TRUE, MAKE A BITCH WANNA HIT SNOOZE OOOOOH. and then the autotune at the end is just cherry on top. 

motive: this BEAT give it to me MURDA. in the pre-chorus when the highhits come in, yes. and then into the beat drop on the chorus YES. whats your motive mmmmmmmmm. Doja’s little voice slurring up notes into her verse i just heard it listening to this and it was beautiful. literally music to my ears lol.

just like magic: OKAY THIS SONG IS A FAVORITE. using it to manifest moving forward thank YOU, 10:44 as i write that. love every single thing about this song. every thing. especially this bomb pre-chorus, chorus combo.favorite part is that white noise before the second chorus though. I take that moment to say a little thank you to the universe <3 - redesign your brain, we gon make some new habits!

off the table: Ari+Able=Unstoppable. The vulnerability here. I’ve cried listening to this song. Thank you for this one Ari. *not yet healed or ready* that part is me lmao. i’m waiting for the abel character to enter my life now lol that’s where i’m at in relating to this song... love’s off the table at the moment but i feel universe brewing up realness

six thirty: this one worked its way up to a favorite. i’m in loooooooove with this chorus and the beat behind it and her runs and her her note jumps and the harmonies. Are you down? what’s up. favorite part of the song - and maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, i’m the release you the dopamine~ 

safety net: this is my fave collab on the album i think... they’re all tied closely together. But this song gives me a nostalgia vibe, a taste of like a darker, sweeter, richer kind of vibe. Her voice also is buttery and raspy and so mature sounding and it’s just a new song from her and a new sound from her. and i feel like right now i’m just entering a ‘new’ in my life so this is the one i’m relating to the most. I just click with it the most. 

my hair: and this one gives me Vulnerable Diva which i feel is a slight summary of Ari. not that she’s negative diva - she’s only ever the positive aspects of Diva. Icon. Pop Queen. The Moment. give me that electric guitar. favorite part is her whistles matched with the horns it’s too beautiful. i’m a sucker for some classical instruments, jazzy, concert. and the fact that she does literally a full chorus in whistle? EXCUSE ME?????? untouchable. 

nasty: again, grew to be a favorite. knew it was gonna be from the clip on insta though. every thing about this one is just cuddling and tickling my heart. don’t wanna wait tonight i wanna get nastyyyyy whatcha waitin fo. her voice and the lyrics and the beat and the chimes in the background. it’s a dream. the echoing. her vocals uggghhhh. *promise ima give it to you like you never had it, i do it so good it’s gon be hard to break the habit, you like a whole constellation, swimming like you on vacation, promise i’m still gonna love you when you wake up in the am*

west side: instant fave - again the nostalgia. I feel like NSYNC in this one. favorite of this one is just the simple “meet me on the west side fooooo me”. it’s that bass that’s making me feel the boyband. and her little ride on the beat on the chorus, with those harmonies on the ends of the phrases. just let me be in your life like tht, be your wife like that, i’ll bring the light right back, i’ll bring the life right back.

love language: when i first heard this song, that intro hit me HARD and good. this is another like throwback-y, i love it. the piano and strings, give it to me. ‘you the medication when i’m feeling anxious, that the kinda shit i like.’ AND THEN THIS OUTRO OMG YES. i ain’t tryna sign no lease, i’m just gon make you my home - intooo 

positions: !!! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS AS THE LEAD SINGLE AND THE TITLE SONG AND UGH EVERYTHING. fell in love with the song immediately. learned every word by the next day just like i’ve almost done with the album now. the acoustic guitar on this one is strumming my heart strings. 

obvious: another immediate favoritteeeee - starting off with just her voice, genius. that beautiful bloop of a piano beat behind her voice. the plucking of strings on the pre-chorus and piano notes. i’m in love. the chorus is my favorite thing of this. again, the piano and the strings on a trappy beat is everything to me. that’s my aesthetic lol. 

pov: i cried hearing this for the first time. i connected with this song because literally this past week before hearing this song come out, i’ve been wondering so hard - “i wonder how people perceive me. what could my image be in their eyes”, and thinking about how i am from my ex’s eyes - my love. i’m in tears. if it’s as much as he says he loves me then i would LOVE to see myself the way he sees me because that’s the most beautiful woman on earth and everything to him. but then i’m sad because i’m not with him right now. this chorus though - for all of my pretty, and all my ugly too, i’d love to see me from your point of view... and the raindrops in the song, the sad song to end the album. very Tayla, very R&B lol. giving me love and basketball vibes. Such a beautiful song, such a beautiful message, so much love, such a beautiful closer. 

[helpyeungrowup]

new beginnings are scary

school is back in session. finally.

the first few days felt like heaven, i felt like a whole new bitch. socializing like i've never socialized before. it was like the turning point of a high school movie where the main character starts getting out of their shell. it was exhilarating.

...up until the first day of school. thursday, sep 23

11:00 am

my first college class ever. chemistry. a subject that i love and im quite fascinated by. the class was boring, (i fell asleep) it was boring because the professor used up all 80 minutes to talk about himself.

the last 5 minutes finally came around...but my hands started to shake, my heart started beating fast, and my breathing pattern became short and fast. i was trying to calm down and pretend that nothing was happening since i was surrounded by people to my left, to my right, in front, and behind me. (it was like a rave but without the cute guys and hot girls...or ig u could say packed like sardines but thats too mainstream). thankfully i had a keychain that i could hold onto to distract myself, but the moment prof. blake dismissed us i shot up and nearly ran out of the lecture hall. (i for sure looked like a girl having an anxiety moment but...lol) thankfully the campus here at uci is beautiful, so seeing the trees and feeling the nice breeze helped me tremendously.

7:00 pm

i was at a bonfire at corona del mar (which is beautiful by the way the moon was red and it was v romantic, however i failed to land a kisson a cute gentleman) overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up.

i felt disgusting, i felt like hiding, i felt like crying.

the next few hours felt like 2% of what i think hell would feel like. (lmao) thankfully there was a friend who helped me feel better and stayed with me the whole night. mf took care of me like i was his 20 year old cat that was blind, deaf, and all of the above. (thank u ethan)

now fast forward to last night at midnight

i've been holding in my tears the whole week because of the very toxic and stupid #1 boy's rule "you cry you weak".

but man...that night i cried. i cried like a bitch. i cried like a frustrated 3 year old that couldn't open a yogurt lid. it was embarrassing, humiliating, absolutely sickening.

afterwards, i felt weak. i didnt want to go back to my room. i just wanted to sleep in the study room i was at, but i picked myself up and did the whole night routine (like a bad bitch).

now as i type this short log, i feel proud and i know that i have a whole grand canyon to go over. but...ITS OKAY!! i got this. you got this. we got this.

good luck.

i love you.

[masonscig]

first line tag game

thank you for the tag @crackerdumortain !!!!! yours were so much fun to read omg !!!!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some of your favourite authors!

[disclaimer: i write for the choices fandom and some for litg so you’ll see a mix of those fandoms on this list LMAO]

1. stay [twc – mason x sofía]

The first time was casual. She had a knack for musing her thoughts aloud, tossing her harmless opinions out for anyone who’d catch them.

She was good at starting conversations in that way – while he’d never been one for talking.

She never did it with heavy topics, though.

2. thieves in the shadows [choices – blades au – mal x zilyana]

bullets pelted the crates they were crouched behind, wood splintering in every direction. bodies were strewn across the warehouse, the unmistakable pools of blood streaking across the stone.

“raine! to your left!” immy yelled her way, barely sparing her a glance before unloading her clip, shell casings clinking against the ground.

the gun trembled in yana’s hands. she’d shot one before – practice at the gun range, glass bottles in a back alley – but never a live target.

3. if we meet again [choices – open heart au – bryce x spencer] 18+

year one

The ride from the airport to her parents’ home was long and grueling, the slushy ice pelting the windshield barely passing for snow.

It was practically sub-zero outside, a stark difference between the mid seventies weather she’d just left.

4. clandestine [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

“hey. hey wake up –”

she stirred at the greeting, but jumped when he kicked the desk. her face contorted into a grimace, the imprint of her tweed jacket on her cheek outlined in pink. “hmm?”

“you fell asleep again,” he said, plopping a bag in front of her.

5. undying [choices – blades – mal x zilyana]

Zilyana stirred, resituating herself against Mal’s bare chest, feeling his arm instinctively tighten around her shoulders. When she realized she was missing the sound of his deep breathing, accompanied with an occasional soft snore, she cracked an eye open to see his chin tipped upwards, his gaze trained on the ceiling.

6. talent show [choices – platinum – shane x dom]

There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t cross his mind. Even since they were kids.

He admired so much about her – her fiery spirit, her drive, her unwavering tenacity.

And he’d been in love with Dom for as long as he could remember.

7. redeemed [choices – platinum – raleigh x dom]

As soon as he stepped off stage, he was shuffled to his tour bus, Fiona on his heels. She looked like the human embodiment of rage in a grey blazer, a look in her eye that made him thankful he wasn’t the one it was directed at – or at least he hoped he wasn’t the reason she was two seconds away from a murderous rampage.

8. hidden [choices – foreign affairs – blaine x carina] 18+

Her cheek slipped out of the palm of her hand, forehead smacking the desk, nearly jumping out of her skin at the abrupt awakening.

“Ow.”

She prodded the tender spot on her face, thankful her foundation was thick.

A soft snore caught her attention – next to her, Blaine was passed out. Leaning back in his chair, his head was thrown back, arms crossed against his chest, the textbook on its face in his lap.

9. is this fate? [litg au – bobby x mc] 18+

The peroxide was cold when it hit her skin, the liquid bubbling on her knee, relentlessly stinging. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.

“Sorry… should be over soon,” he murmured, wiping up the stray liquid that streamed down her leg with a small rag.

The heaviness of the atmosphere between them was almost too much to bear – they’d barely spoken since he helped her onto the counter in his small office, leg propped up between his own, where he sat in his desk chair.

10. asvista cove [litg college au – bobby x elena]

Bobby’s thumb flicked the lighter repeatedly until he got a consistent flame, moving slowly from left to right over the edge of the blunt. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked in, the tip of it an auburn ember. He pulled it out of his mouth and sucked in an even deeper breath, holding it.

When he blew out the thick cloud of smoke, he passed it to her, coughing under his breath. “Whew. Your turn.”

She followed suit, the thick smoke coating the inside of her lungs, bitter and heavy. She exhaled, the shroud smoke enveloping her view of the sealine.

11. reticent [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

She was bare.

Bare in the way that one is when they’ve been stripped down and torn apart with a trained gaze just calculating enough for them to feel seen – parts of her she didn’t know she’d hidden splayed out like withered pages of a book, dog-eared and marked up like a frequently reread novel.

One he’d reread because it was familiar, because it had fallen into his lap (he hadn’t searched for it), not so much because it was his favorite.

12. more [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

He laced his fingers through her thick hair, reveling in the way his skin looked contrasted against the midnight of her hair.

[the way i can’t post more than this bc it’s....... very nsfw right out the bat LMFAO]

13. calm before the storm [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

14. envy | part two of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He strode down the hallway, hands in his pockets to give the illusion that he didn’t give a shit, when he was most definitely on edge. His fingers flicked his lighter open and closed against the twill lining of his pockets, trying to focus on the soft clicking noise it made instead of the swarm of thoughts clouding his conscience.

He still couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

15. comfort | part one of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He noticed it before she did.

Her pulse didn’t jump the same way it did the first dozen times he walked into the room. The blood didn’t rush to her cheeks, or creep up her neck, the crimson flush absent even when he tried his hardest to fluster her. And it normally took next to nothing to get her to turn into a bumbling mess.

16. out of time [choices – open heart – sienna x danny]

She sprinted down the hallway, pager still beeping erratically on her hip, the weight of the numbers enough to make her feel like she was slugging through wet concrete.

No, no, not him, please, not him, she chanted to herself, vision blurring with tears before she had the chance to let the negative possibilities set in.

17. unrequited part three [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

She slumped into the seat in the deserted waiting room, her joints popping as she stretched, her deep sigh echoing off of the tile. She was exhausted.

She could usually push through the worst of her shifts, but fatigue settled into her bones, a lethargy she’d never experienced entrapping her like a net, and she couldn’t fight her way out of it this time.

18. signs [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

“A final in sign language? Couldn’t you just have a conversation with the teacher or some shit?” Logan sat across from her on the couch, watching as her fingers bent and flexed, transfixed.

She stopped abruptly, screwing her mouth to the side in concentration. She repeated the same few moves, getting more and more frustrated with each sequence.

19. mementos [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

The sound of his boots slapping against the damp pavement reverberated off of the brick of the alleyways, his gasping breaths adding to the symphony that was his escape.

20. warmth [twc – mason x sofía]

“You’re going the wrong way,” Mason grunted, looking particularly stiff in her passenger seat.

“I thought we could take the scenic route,” she shrugged, flicking her high beams on as she turned off of the main road leading downtown, easing on the brakes when the tires hit the gravel.

okay so....... i didn’t really realize just HOW MUCH i’ve written since the summer? i’ve fallen into a pattern where i think i’m a failure bc of how slow i am to write because i have so many series i’ve started and dropped off and wips i’ve abandoned but.... i’ve managed to write for most appreciation weeks i’ve both hosted/participated in and i’ve written for THREE fandoms.... i don’t normally gas myself up but? i’m really? proud of myself? KSJDJKSD if you read this far thank you and you’re prob watching me have a breakdown over how much i’ve managed to write oh my GOD ok i need to lie down KLSDFKASFJD i didn’t even think i could hit 20 but i did???? alright i’m officially gonna treat myself at some point bc i did all this in less than a year.... these are from the end of july 2020 to now..... wow ok im done i promise SKDFJKSDF

tagging: @raleighcarrera and @pixeljazzy !!! <3 

[evevoli]

some dadmight-centric BNHA AUs

take two of my “summaries of dadmight/probably vocaloid-inspired bnha aus” post because the first one accidentally got deleted like 8 seconds after i posted it

because like two people were supportive of me talking about my unfleshed aus here i have written up bullet-point summaries of them under the cut for your viewing displeasure to hopefully encourage further discussion :]

(TW for child abuse/death)

the cliche’d Experiment Izuku AU that doesn’t really have a name thus far so i’ve been calling it “labrat” in my notes (even though that just makes me think of that disney XD show) EDIT: its name is No Matter What now -- this is my Big Fic Project that i have been working on (loose term) for months and haven't really talked about much with anyone so i'm honestly really excited to throw it at everyone lmao basically it's:

izuku is kidnapped shortly after he finds out he's quirkless and experimented on by All For One And Co. because god knows we don't have enough of THAT au

he escapes the day all might, still recovering from his big fight with AFO, just so happens to be taking a nice walk and stumbles into izuku and naturally, goes into dad mode in about 3 seconds

this is the story of izuku and all might learning to love themselves and accept being loved by others after what they've each been through and it's just got a lot of feelings okay

phantump!izuku au -- bnha but there are pokemon. this whole thing started as a "lol what if izuku was a phantump wouldn't that be sad" and then it grew into this

so basically izuku gets lost in the woods as a lil kid (bakugou: "lol he'll be fine he can't be THAT dumb") he's not fine he dies all alone in the forest and his spirit possesses a local stump

all might stumbles upon izuku-phantump and puts two and two together and oops! now he has a phantump baby

also his partner pokemon is a lucario!! :D all might with a lucario just makes me happy ok don't @ me

kokoro au (based on the vocaloid song)

it's just kokoro but with izuku honestly. izuku's a robot made by toshinori and izuku doesn't realize how much toshinori loved him until centuries later after he's long gone (please just listen to the song if you haven't already lol)

robo!izu exists because the real izuku died when he was a student or maybe a lil older and toshinori became a hermit who built a whole robot in his likeness to distract him from the grief and ultimately cope in a rather unhealthy

the prequel song "goodbye, thank you" (favorite vocaloid song honestly) just gave me all might feels in general and that's how we got here babey

theater au -- the only not-angsty one in here it's literally just ua but as idiot theater kids because i am an idiot theater kid who likes to project

so like ua implements theater bc nezu thought the kids were (justifiably) stressed and thought they could use a fun creative distraction (nezu have you been anywhere near a theater it is the opposite of calming in there)

literally like all of 1a joins + the other important students with mic and midnight supervising. everyone is an idiot theater kid now, even you

this started with me mixing tododeku + a bit of shinkami and theater when i was really bored during a show last spring so that's kind of a focus but not really

listen there's just something very soft about someone sitting in a light booth staring gayly at their gay crush who is on stage doing whatever like Sigh,,, I Am Very Gay

shinsou and kaminari are two stupid light techs; tokoyami moved to sound as soon as he saw kaminari because he just knew the bakusquad was going to involve themselves in that somehow; izuku is put on the headset backstage exactly once and his muttering nearly drove shinsou to insanity; iida is appointed as stage manager and no, he is not okay

there are like 5 more aus i didn’t include because they were mostly just vague concepts and i wanted to keep this brief F

if any of these have Caught Thine Eyes please don’t hesitate to send me an ask about them!! i would love to discuss further!!! thank you!!!

[flowers-in-your-dustbin]

Do ‘em all

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I think physical attraction is a contributing factor just as much as anything else is, it’s not the most important but I think anyone’s lying if they say looks don’t play at least some part.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely. Which even I’m surprised I’m now saying haha.

3. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Yes!

5. Are you in love?

Very much so.

6. Are you single this year?

Nope!

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can indeed.

8. Describe your crush

The most gorgeous, beautiful, meme-queen and emo you ever did see. Luckily for me she ain’t a crush, she’s more than that and mine

9. Describe your perfect mate

I just did.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Maybe not ‘love’ but a definite powerful connection of such, without sounding too cringe.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

It’d be nice someday.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends on the betrayal. Probably could pretend to on the surface, but not so forgiving underneath.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Not as easily as I thought I would, I joke that I am more often than I actually really am haha.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I fancy my girlfriend very much so xo

15. Do you have any piercings?

Just the lobes but they’re closed up now practically now haha

16. Do you have any tattoos?

I do, just the one but many many more I hope.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Depends where the in public place is, not constantly but the occasional is pretty adorable

20. Do you shower every day?

Yeah

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I hope considering she said she did over 9 months ago!

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I’d like to think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Already have lmao, wouldn’t dream of cheating.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Could be nice! Engaged at least

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yeah!

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Indeed they have

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yeah lol

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I’m aware of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Not my style thanks

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Nah, but liposuction could be good hahah would never actually do it tho

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Oh yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

I think!

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

nope nope, gold star bitches :)

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yeah!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yep!

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

‘Disliked’ may be a better term, if I can use that then yes haha

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Haha yeah

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yasssss

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Nope, my writing skills aren’t that impressive

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yea boi

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Right, we timed this before and my gal’s hands wander first but I also have the hormones of a teenage boy so probs 0.5 seconds at the right kinda time if you catch my drift

43. How long was your longest relationship?

this one now! so nearly 10 months and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

technically my gal now is my first girlfriend, was very close to another (unfortunately) but too closeted to want to go further. Had a couple of ‘talking to’ people that never got official too.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

046. How many times did you have sex last year?

can’t count lol

47. How old are you?

Eighteen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Whatever floats your goat, you do you… etc…

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her personality/cheekiness

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

My girlfriend is my first true love so I’d be like wtf are you apologising for get in here NOW!

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Just the one yeah x

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A fair few, there’s only so many times you can get taken advantage of until you run.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Who knows?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Si

55. Share a relationship story.

Mine and my girlfriend’s ‘song’ is quite a lil’ indie one, so I went and found whether I could buy the single. Couldn’t find it anywhere, but when I did it said it may be sold out… I emailed and they had TWO left! I bought them both of course, what a coincidence. I hope to get mine framed for us one day for in our house lol

56. State 8 facts about your body

1: phat

2: not as phat as previous

3: scars

4: innie 

5: blonde hair

6: blue eyes

7: second degree burns have left pretty permanent tan lines for the past year

8: bruises

57. Things you want to say to an ex

blocked.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. thoughtfulness, 2. creativity, 3. make me laugh, 4. fooooood, 5. make me feel appreciated

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

look at my pp cba

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

like a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

their taste in memes/vines ;) jks, their eyes

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

dunno if I can write this as I have irl mutuals here hahah so I’ll keep that a secret

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

hand stuff, mouth stuff, gay stuff

64. What is your definition of cheating?

kissing/fucking/anything with romantic intent not for the person you’re with

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

routine is pointless, spice it up 

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

the role-play where we don’t role-play lmao cringe

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

anything involving exploring, adventuring, good/deep conversation etc.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

the biggest lesbian you ever did see

69. What turns you off?

ignorance

70. What turns you on?

starts with ‘girl’ ends with ‘friend’

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

lol can’t relate I have night terrors instead of those clearly

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

my name ;) amongst ‘fuck’

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

continue to look after me and tolerate me haha

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

brunette

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

oh god there’s so many contenders all from one (the best) gal, some include surprising me at work/college as well as getting me a bear and spraying it with her perfume, there’s so many more tho wow

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

probs surprising my baby on her birthday at midnight with flowers (on a SCHOOL NIGHT!?!?)

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

as long as its legal and not nonce-y it’s got the all clear from me

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

can’t put that on here sorry hah

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

nothing really jumps out, not sure

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

today

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

1. my gal, 2. ruby rose, 3. Lynn gunn, 4. Frances bean Cobain, 5. Hannah Hart (always have always will leave me alone)

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my girlfriend I think

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my girlfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

not that we were together but I multitude of reasons

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I kind of am! she slid into the DMs (cringe-ing at myself)

[paperbackphoenix]

92 questions holy shit

I was tagged by the marvellous @phoebe-does (why phoebe, why, it’s so many)

Rules: answer the 92 questions and tag 20 people

last… drink: water rip

phone call: umm my friend liv i think? asking “where tf are you”

text message: “Nearly at the top” honestly can’t remember what that meant

song you listened to: moonlight sonata by beethoven bc im a nerd

time you cried: literally today because patrick rothfuss is a fantastic writer and kvothe’s life is sad

have you.. dated someone twice: what does ‘dated’ mean?

kissed someone and regretted it: my mom oh my god, i’m joking

been cheated on: no

lost someone special: no, actually, i’ve been very lucky so far

been depressed: the emotion? yes. otherwise, no

gotten drunk and thrown up: fuck alcohol guys

list three favorite colors… colors: blue, lilac, grey (i am aware this is a shade)

in the last year, have you… made new friends: yeah!

fallen out of love: was never in it m8

laughed until you cried: absolutely

found out someone was talking about you: yeah and my friend recorded the conversation (argument) lmao

met someone who changed you: not really?

found out who your friends are: nah this past year has had like no drama whatsoever

kissed someone on your Facebook list: no, and who uses facebook anymore? look i might use the messenger app but that’s it

general… how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar internet friends

any pets: no and i’m salty about it

do you want to change your name: not really, but if I had to i would happily

what did you do for your last Birthday: had some friends round and played games

what time did you wake up: 7am

what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the harry potter audiobooks (my g stephen fry)

something you can’t wait for: hamilton!!!!!! hamilton at the west end in april!!!

when was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago?

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my procrastination. it would’ve saved me a lot of grief last year

what are you listening to right now: mendelssohn’s symphony no.3 (tbh if you don’t listen to classical music, you’re missing out)

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah its a really common ass name

something that is getting on your nerves: these questions no ummm my history coursework; i picked the one question that doesn’t fit the structure they want us to use

most visited websites: youtube and tumblr maybe?

other info about myself… mole/s: fucking hell yeah it’s all my mom’s fault

mark/s: i never usually scar but i’ve got one on my knee now from having to continuously skid across the floor in a play (dedication)

childhood dream: i’ve wanted to be loads of things. let’s say an actor

hair color: blonde, but also purple atm

long or short hair: its kind of in the middle?

do you have a crush on someone: no, thank fuck. i just see people and think how painfully attractive they are and that they probably aren’t gay

what do you like about yourself: my creativity

piercings: i have 2 on each lobe

blood type: who knows this shit

nickname: purple becky, because there are 2 becky’s in my circle of friends

relationship status: standing alone on a hill in a big flowy dress

zodiac: leo

pronouns: she/her

favorite TV show: ummmmm game of thrones is really good, but i don’t watch tv a lot

tattoos: none because you have to be 18. i’ll probs get one maybe

right or left hand: right

surgery: never

hair dyed in different color: purple, and i want to experiment more at some point in my life

sport: whats this? i played tennis for a long time but now my sport is stress

vacation: i’d love to go to scandinavia and see the northern lights. OR canada

sneakers: we call them trainers here

more general…

eating: what is this even asking? i’m not eating anything right now? i want ice cream though

drinking: water still

i’m about to: watch something with the fam I think

waiting for: college to start yikes

want: to get my alevels over and done with

get married: marriage sounds a bit shit and expensive tbh

career: editor? author? actor? idk man

hugs or kisses: hugs man they feel 10/10

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: who can be shorter than me (i’m not actually that small)

older or younger: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? older i guess?

nice arms or nice stomach: a nice stomach that doesn’t get so fucking hungry all the time (who cares about arms?)

sensitive or loud: loud as fuck

hook up or relationship: right hook

what am i

troublemaker or hesitant: god i obey rules even if i hate them. i’m scared of getting into trouble rip

have you ever… kissed a stranger: who the fuck do you think i am

drank hard liquor: yeah, i bought my dad some spiced rum (i wanted the bottle tbh) and it fucking burned. twice. there was the rum burn and then the spice burn a few seconds later. not pleasant.

lost glasses/contact lenses: not so far. i don’t need my glasses all the time though

turned someone down: lmao yeah

sex on the first date: how dare you i am a maiden

broken someone’s heart: i doubt it, the guy was like 13 at the time

had your heart broken: no

been arrested: fucking no

cried when someone died: robb and catelyn stark

fallen for a friend: no

do you believe in… yourself: sometimes i wonder if i actually exist

miracles: not really? i’ll say “WOW THATS A MIRACLE” when its just like... idk luck?

love at first sight: nah that’s bs

santa claus: i’m not 6

kiss on the first date: depends???

other… current best friend name: elie

eye color: blue/grey

favorite movie: god idk? grand budapest hotel?

FINALLY, THE END

ok i tag: @bvkspine @boneseasonofglass @kat-from-minasmorgul @beckisbookshelf @word-stuck @teaandalotofbooks @happybibliosaurus

i’m... not tagging 20 people soz

[celestialriptide]

taggy q’s!

Thank you my dear @commodorecliche for tagging me!

The rules: Answer these 85 q’s then tag some peeps!

I’m not sure who to tag, so I’ll just go with @ideal-mina and @viktorthicciforov and @authordrive and leave it at that for now

THE LAST 1. DRINK: sweet tea 2. PHONE CALL: the jakester/close friend 3. TEXT MESSAGE: maribae. check her outtttttt atttttt >>> :) :) :) @viktorthicciforov :) :) :) 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART yall probably think im joking 5. TIME YOU CRIED: i dunno honestly i cry a lot 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: i dont think ive technically dated anyone more than once 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: ehh 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Yes. 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah. 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: um yes, i have depression  11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: oh of course 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. purple 13. blue 14. red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yupperooskies 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: unfortunately. 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: i think so 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: ooooooh yeah, man. 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: not particularly 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: not really no 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: i have not kissed someone in almost two years.

GENERAL 22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: like most of them. all except like 15? and even them i’ve known for 7 years. 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: i live with five chihuahuas: Sasha, Clifford, Mika, Nora and Navi 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: yupp i’d love to see Ryn on my legal docs 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: i worked a 10 hour shift :) and then died :) im still bitter :) she wouldn’t let me leave :) because she bought a cake :) and didnt want it brought in until nearly :) 8pm :) even tho i had been there since 9 :) with no break :) on my fucking :) birthday :) 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: uhhhhhhhh like 1pm lmao 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: i have the vague idea that i was reading, but i dont remember 11:30-1:15 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: the void h a l l o w e e n 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: couple of hours ago, i still live at home 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: the call of the void the ambient noise of living on a military base 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: yeah, i think he died a few years ago. i miss him. 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: being unemployed, living at home, not being independent, my mental state, lots of things 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: i would say tumblr, but it’s ao3. 35. HAIR COLOUR: im a bleach blond, with brown roots bc im lazy and dont feel like upkeep 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short, but still longer than i like 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: subtly screams: MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: mnyeh. nothing really i reckon 39. PIERCINGS: i’ve got a standard tongue piercing, a monroe, right nostril, and then i’ve got 7/16th plugs 40. BLOOD TYPE: i honestly dont heckin know my guy 41. NICKNAME: uhm. void and, uh, vore. lmao. there’s probably more but these are the ones i see daily. 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: a single useless pringle, i think? i dont think im dating anyone, maybe 43. ZODIAC: im keith (scorpio power yall) 44. PRONOUNS: he/him pls pls pls 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: got that VLD and Rick & Morty grind yall GoT doesnt count its just part of my life at this point 46. TATTOOS: 3ish. This swirly star neverland skully thing on my left foot, a bird on my right shoulder, mars/moon/stars on my left wrist that matches my mother and oldest younger brother, and vaguelly some blotches of color on my right foot that dont count anymore because you cant really see them unless you Know. 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right handed, left hand can be used for some things. 48. SURGERY: galbladder, tonsils/adnoids, and wisdom teeth.

50. SPORT: i’ve never been a sport but i always enjoyed the idea of playing volleyball. 51. VACATION: all my vacations are home. @ tennessee whats good i miss you  52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: idk like the only shoes i own rn are like vans MORE GENERAL 53. EATING: i nothing atm, but i do love eating. 54. DRINKING: sweet tea 55. I’M ABOUT TO: bounce between writing some more and playing overwatch 56. WAITING FOR: the void to take me a job 57. WANT: to enter the void to take my longboard out, but it’s too hilly here and im still new 58. GET MARRIED: one day probably i like the idea of proposing to someone.

WHICH IS BETTER: 60. HUGS OR KISSES: meh. idk. depends on who i guess 61. LIPS OR EYES: can i get a uhhhhh b o t h 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: meh 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: either or 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: i am a slut for some nice arms 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: idk. 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: little bit of both. im hesitantly a troublemaker. HAVE YOU EVER: 67. KISSED A STRANGER: neh. 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: ooohyes. 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: i lost 6 months worth of contacts once 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yesssssss 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: does it count if it wasnt a date at all, just hanging out that ended up there bc yes? but we didnt have a date so 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: idk maybe probably wait yeah sorry 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: ahahahaha yea 74. BEEN ARRESTED: nopers 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: vaguely. the concept of death is something that vaguely affects me. i generally end up crying a few months after the death, if at all 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ye DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. YOURSELF: meh 78. MIRACLES: not exactly 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: lust, yes. love, no. 80. SANTA CLAUS: i believe that there was probably once a man that sparked the legend but santa as the current urban myth is a m y t h 81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: sure 82. ANGELS: in a way. OTHER: 84. EYE COLOUR: hazel 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: donnie darko or howls moving caste

[librainlov-remade]

get to know me tag!!! hello!!!

hello!!.! i was tagged by my favs!!! @joonjulyagustd n @eunwoosgirlfriend to do this!!! n even tho its long,, it was worth it!! thank u for tagging me in this ilu both!!! :* 

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST:

1. drink: iced coffee!!

2. phone call: probably my sister??

3. text message: “the bald mario is both of u” lmaoakdvdfjn

4. song you listened to: still - loco ft crush!! so good vkfkvkd

5. time you cried: i think it was??? two nights ago??

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: ehhfhfj some regret was involved,, got over it quickly tho

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: ehh?? kind of?? yea,,

10. been depressed: yup,,

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. red, pink, n white atm!! jus a whole valentines day display lmao

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes!! ppl whomst i lov th most in this world

16. fallen out of love: don’t think i’ve ever truthfully fallen in love so no

17. laughed until you cried: YES!! best feeling in the world :))!!

18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah,,, both good n bad unfortunately

19. met someone who changed you: definitely

20 found out who your friends are: kinda??

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: don’t even have fb

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: we’ll never know hahhjkdnc

23. do you have any pets: 3 dogs n a cat!!!! guess what!!!! i’d sacrifice my life for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24. do you want to change your name: yes hence why i go by my middle name lmao

25. what did you do for your last birthday: beach w my friends n there was a carnival nearby!!!!,,, a good memory :’)

26. what time did you wake up: ,,,,,,1 pm

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching brooklyn 99

28. name something you can’t wait for: hopefully visiting Seattle this summer!! (((ps rec me some places to visit wink wonk))

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: last night

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i literally can’t think of anything rn but i know i complain a lot lmao,,, i wish i was rich?? tf???

31. what are you listening to right now: palmar - caloncho!! my fav!!

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i have

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my gemini brother

34. most visited website: most likely tumblr n youtube

35-37. lost questions??

38. hair colour: dark brown!!

39. long or short hair: i like all lengths but i prefer mine longer :))

40. do you have a crush on someone: no but i wish

41. what do you like about yourself: ,,idk if this is physically?? i’ll say my goofy laugh bc it makes other ppl laugh n my eyes prob!!

42. piercings: just one on each of my ear lobes!! i wanna get another ear piercing soon but i can’t decide which to get :o,,

43. bloodtype: no idea fnvdklfnldf

44. nickname: isa, isha, i guess those count?? 

45. relationship status: i”’’m goign to die alone,,

46. zodiac: libra,,, i can’t remember th rest of my chart hehahshdh

47. pronous: she/her

48. favourite tv show: i just finished chewing gum ANDJFNV ITS A FAV!!!. but I’m down to watch the office at any given moment heh o also oitnb n htgawm!!!!

49. tattoos: not rn but hopefully one day!

50. right or left handed: i’m right handed

51. surgery: don’t think so!!

52. piercing: @@ 42

53. sport: i played volleyball for like,,,,, a year n i hated every second of it ooopsnjfnvf

55. vacation: i wish i could go everywhere honestly but first on my list is Seattle ((hopefully pls,,))!!! but in general someplace cold!

56. pair of trainers: my white converse or birkenstocks now that its summer ayayayhfjn

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: jus ate sum lasagna binch,,,, am garfieold

58. drinking: drinking water rn,,, hydrating my cells,,?

59. i’m about to: finish up som other tags to spam y’all with hmmmkm

61. waiting for: my dumb ass to graduate fuckfvkf

62. want: more rilakkuma plushes + skincare products

63. get married: definitely!!

64. career: NO IDEA LMAOMDF,,,,,th dream would b something that i could do semi independently??? idk i hav no real passion for anything so far,,

65. hugs or kisses: hugs!!!! especially when they squeeze you really tight out of nowhere!!!! i love hugs!!!!!!! pls!!!

66. lips or eyes: on other people? lips for sure

67. shorter or taller: its nearly impossible to be shorter than me so

68. older or younger: i don’t mind either? i jus never really pay attention to age unless its like,, a really huge gap :/ but something like 2-3 year gap doesn’t matter to me

70. nice arms or nice stomach: idk!!! arms i guess!!! goes along w the hugging thing hahsjdcn jus never let me go ;;

71. sensitive or loud: i’m both honestly

72. hook up or relationship: i’m definitely a relationship kind of person but i wouldn’t say no?

73. troublemaker or hesitant: EXTREMELY HESITANT goddjkfjlkf i overthink n contemplate everything,, anything at all n i hate that 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: nah

75. drank hard liquor: i don’t drink!

76. lost glasses/contact lesnse: yes all the time but my eyesight isnt too bad so i dont stress abt it 

77. turned someone down: yup

78. sex on the first date: no

79. broken someone’s heart: uhhhlkdm don’t think so?

80. had your heart broken: i don’t think so,, but i’ve felt like i have? if tht makes sense :/

81. been arrested: no but i got kicked out of target once

82. cried when someone died: yes but it was more of a reaction to others reactions? i didn’t know the person well so..

83. fallen for a friend: yes ohgod

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: i try!!

85. miracles: hhhhh it depends..

86. love at first sight: i don’t believe in love at first sight,,, just being extremely attracted to someone at first sight?,,,, like theres no way u could love someone,..........at ...first sight,,,,...

87. santa claus: no hhah

88. kiss on the first date: ye!!!

89. angels: idk,,, no?

OTHER:

90. current best friend’s name: i hav multiple!! “best friend”,, its a tier

91. eye colour: jus brown

92. favourite movie: kiki’s delivery service!!!!! or while you were sleeping

this shouldnt have taken me as long as it did omg,,, but thanks for tagging me yall!!!!! ilu!!! im gonna tag: @flameoflov , @rmsgirl , @namkwan u dont hav to do this at all tho!!!! 

[honeyedmilks]

the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰

i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!

the last…

drink: water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!  time you cried: literally at 5 am at some point early in the week

phone call: my mum

text message: it’s literally me messaging rezka this: “did u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?” we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don’t ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.

song you listened to: don’t stop by shinee :’( (i’m going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)

 have you…

dated someone twice: but… i’ve not.. even dated someone.. once… 

kissed someone and regretted it: nope! 

been cheated on: nope!

lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes

been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin’ that mental illness life right now hskjxk

gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot. 

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: browns, pinks, blues 

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :’))) 

fallen out of love: hmm… i would say so… THANK GOD 

laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :’)) 

found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it’s ok :(( 

met someone who changed you: i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don’t think so

found out who your friends are: yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn’t check up on me had their reasons 

kissed someone on your facebook list: i’m literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y’all!

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i should’ve mentioned before that i’m not even on that… place… imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on ‘the facebooks’ as my dad calls it… a living nightmare… also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they’re lit

do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we’ll get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i’m so lonely… i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete… so cold…so devoid… I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc 

do you want to change your name: actually no, i’m okay with my name right now :’) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it’s actually soft, like sof-ya! also here’s a fact! my name’s already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck… i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia)                               

what did you do for your last birthday: it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i’ll try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too

what time did you wake up: near 1pm i think! 

what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess’ man or making my posters for it! 

name something you can’t wait for: honestly don’t know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here’s hoping i finally do that, or go swimming 

when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she’s making dinner i think… i can smell it… all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!

what are you listening right now: fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i’m getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance  

have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don’t know the details but that’s all i remember of the dude) and he was in my english class once, but like, we don’t talk no more… i don’t even know if i’ve seen him around school when i used to go… 

something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things… my potato laptop… myself… no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it’s been two weeks and i still don’t have delicious cake… also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :’(( 

most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice

about me…

mole/s: i don’t think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck

mark/s: i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh

childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid) 

hair colour: black

long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it’s a bit shorter. 

do you have a crush on someone: i mean there’s this one boy in real life… but i don’t see him that much right now :(( i don’t think it’s full on infatuation though… but y’all also know i love jonghyun and changkyun 

what do you like about yourself: AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think… i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao… i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it’s not at all always fun being so sensitive

piercings: i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :) 

blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO 

nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god… my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don’t know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister 

relationship status: your local potato head (that’s me) is on her lonesome… she single as hell bitch!

zodiac: aquarius (i’m sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL) 

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i don’t even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :’)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i’ve not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series 

tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :’D

right or left hand: right!

surgery: i don’t think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don’t know if that counts lmfao 

hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i’ve been thinking about it… but i don’t know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn’t want me to lmfao 

sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don’t do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking 

vacation: i’ve been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!

pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse

more general…

eating: these days i’m very into chips and cheese plus donner (don’t knock it till ya try it!) and my mum’s roti salan lmfao 

drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her 

i’m about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream… or actual dinner… and then maybe watch more of the princess’ man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao 

waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just… i dunno what the heck i’m doing, i’m just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them  

want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day

get married: i most likely will when i’m older! though i’ve been told i’m already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco 

career: HONESTLY DON’T KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design… who knows tbh maybe counselling? 

which is better…

hugs or kisses: it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :’(( so both i guess!

lips or eyes: both :’) but eyes over lips i guess unless we’re talking smiles :’) 

short or tall: i guess tall but if i’m in love it might not really matter              

older or younger: hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :) 

nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :’) 

sensitive or loud: hmm i don’t know… probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying

hook up or relationship: relationship :’) 

troublemaker or hesitant: hmm i don’t know! the boys i’ve liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble! 

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: never 

lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn’t even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind

turned someone down: hmm i don’t think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine’s day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn’t take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don’t know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don’t trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons

sex on the first date: oh no not my shy ass lmfao

broken someone’s heart: i don’t know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down  

had your heart broken: i’m not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it’s felt a lot 

been arrested: nope! i’m an angel ;)) LMFAO 

cried when someone died: hmm i can’t remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around) 

fallen for a friend: i don’t think it was genuine, so i’m going to say no 

do you believe in…

yourself: pfff depends really, there are times when i don’t feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do                    

miracles: i guess so :)

love at first sight: i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don’t really believe one can fall in love at first sight

santa claus: kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices

kiss on the first date: hmm… depends… but in reality… probably no

angels: yes  

other…

current best friends name: rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y’all, i honestly don’t talk to a lot of people these days :(( 

eye colour: so dark they look black and you can’t see my pupils sometimes

favourite movie(s): hmm… sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i’m so fond of!  

phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan , @timrggins and @bonqhee! 💗

[disappointingpastasalad]

fuckin answer all the questions, esp 104 but all of them waste your day

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? >>>Yikes Wazowski

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?>>>YIKES WAZOWSKI

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?>>>nah man, we goin through this shit together either way

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?>>>yea

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?>>>…….. high ?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?>>>lmao yeah but ain’t that just the way

7. What does your last received text say?>>>it’s an image of Michael Scott

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?>>>thank god that was the only time 😭

9. Where was your last kiss at?>>>a friend’s basement

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?>>>mmmm last week ?

11. What do you drink in the morning?>>>usually water or milk lol

12. Where did you sleep last night?>>>in my bed 😩👌🏻

13. Do you think relationships are hard?>>>emotionally ? Yes. Physically ? Not at allllll

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?>>>yeahhhhhh

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?>>>YEP

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?>>>rainyyy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?>>>……..unfortunately I have the most common middle name for white girls

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?>>>sweat pantssssss

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?>>>hope soooo

20. Does anyone like you?>>>yee

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?>>>not that I know of lol

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?>>>arguably, yes

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?>>>lmao YEAH a few actually

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?>>>MORE THAN YOU KNOW

25. In the past week have you cried?>>>SEE ABOVE

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? >>>a pitbull mix :)

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?>>>both, it’s a process

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?>>>lol yea

29. Do you think you’re old?>>>nah. im only 18

30. Do you like text messaging?>>>more than talking on the phone, yeah

31. What type of day are you having?>>>slow, boring

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?>>>ye, figured a lip ring would look better lol

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?>>>cold–it is my natural state of being

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?>>>several !!

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?>>>right now I think id rather a nice lil fling

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?>>>I am but a simple farm boy in most regards, though I am a complex city slicker at times

37. What song are you listening to?>>>im actually listening to a podcast about Jeffrey Dahmer rn yikes

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?>>>nearly 100% of the time

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?>>>yea its @solarscam on here lmao

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?>>>idk he’s cute and funny and we vibe well

41. When did you last receive a text message?>>>like 3 minutes ago lol

42. What is wrong with you right now?>>>Too Much to name

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?>>>it was my mom so pretty well? I was inside of her so

44. Does anyone disgust you?>>>other than myself?? The person who made me feel like this abt myself

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?>>>tbh yeah

46. Are you in a good mood right now?>>>im not in a bad mood lol

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?>>>my sister, moments ago

48. What color shirt are you wearing?>>>red rn

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?>>>yeah, quite a bit from multiple people retry recently.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?>>>only a few ex friends 🤗

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?>>>nah, I don’t think I’ve ever Truly Fallen

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?>>>mmHhmmmm

53. Do you like rain?>>>yes yes yes

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?>>>I’d hope they would be cool with me drinking at least, otherwise I dong give a fuck

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?>>>its my MO tbh

56. Do you like to cuddle?>>>YES YEs I love it yes

57. Are you shy?>>>lol only if im around ppl I want to impress

58. Do you get along with girls?>>>?? Yeah man

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?>>>nah but we did just start talking over tinder so 💁🏻‍♂️

60. What do you carry with you at all times?>>>color-changing silly putty and chapstick 😅

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?>>>yeah man im a slut for paranormal activity and $$$

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?>>>depends on the relationship tbh

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?>>>nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?>>>yes omg

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?>>>nah. Mostly things that are remarkably un-cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?>>>shit like, 18, 20, and 22 I believe ??

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? >>>pay, im not very good

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? >>>ew to both but I guess leopard ?? Idfk

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? >>>nah. Too dirty

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? >>>depends on my mood lol

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? >>>iPhone. Im an apple bitch 🙃

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? >>>probably like, a week or two ago

73. Do you like diet soda? >>>ew no I have standards

74. What color are the walls in your room? >>>blueish green

75. Are you 16 or older? >>>I sure hope so

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?>>>tried to, more of a gossip girl guy myself tbh

77. Do you have a job? >>>yep! Grinding foam at a factory 😂

78. What are your initials? >>>they’re gonna be AQL soon lol

79. Did you ever have braces? >>>*war flashbacks* yeah

80. Are you from the south? >>>South West Michigan lmao

81. What does your last status on facebook say? >>>idfk probably me thanking ppl for coming to my grad party

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? >>>lmao yeah

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? >>>my mom for sure

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?>>>nooooo

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >>>Captain Underpants 😩👌🏻

86. Do you smoke? >>>only 🍁🔥

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? >>>Flippity floppity floo

88. Is your phone touch screen? >>>in this, the year of our lord 2017, who’s phone isn’t

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? >>>its naturally pretty straight but when it gets long it likes to flip up at the ends lol

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? >>>yeah

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? >>>pool tbh, unless its like Lake Michigan lol

92. Have you ever made out in a car? >>>yes

93. …Had sex in a car? >>>lol not yet

94. Are you single or in a relationship? >>>painfully single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? >>>trying to forget some stuff by doing reckless things

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? >>>lol last night

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? >>>yeah it’s not too shabby

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? >>>I mean?? Kind of

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? >>>no, but I’ve helped a few different people when they passed out

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? >>>mHmm

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? >>>lmao not yet

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: >>>BITCH probably We R Who We R

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? >>>yeah from my binder on my back lol

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? >>>I hate that I have done this before ??

[sunshineofthegroup]

@achievementmicoo did the thing.  i want to do the thing.  we talked like one time, it all works out.

Rules: You must answer these 85(*83)statements and tag 20 people.  I’ll save you the trouble - 30 and 35 are both missing, and i don’t even know 1 person.  feel free to do this if you see it, even if we haven’t talked like one time.

The Last

1) Drink: an entire bottle of simply lemonade with raspberry 2) Phone Call: my mother, we talked for 47 minutes 3) Text Message: my grandmother 4) Song: like i can by sam smith 5) Time You Cried: last night when i remembered caiti ward exists and is beautiful and pure 6) Dated Someone Twice: im gonna say i havent done this 7) Kissed Someone And Regretted It: i have not 8) Cheated On Someone: i have definitely not 9) Lost Someone Special: they stop being special around the time they get lost, usually 10) Been Depressed: have i ever stopped, tho 11) Got Drunk and Thrown Up: never, unless one time, i had a drink and then i threw up but i actually had the flu so the drink had nothing to do with it

3 Favorite Colors

12) pink 13) black 14) green

In The Last Year Have You

15) Made New Friends: i’ve talked to a few people on the tumbloid like one time, does that count? 16) Fallen Out of Love: sure 17) Laughed Until You’ve Cried: definitely 18) Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: someone’s always talking about me. 19) Met Someone Who Has Changed You: i never change, my dude 20) Found Out Who Your Friends Are: i’m pretty ensconced with the two friends i have 21) Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: wtf no

General

22) How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know IRL: i dont even use facebook, but probably most of them i have known at one point. 23) Do You Have Any Pets: noo 24) Do You Want to Change Your Name: my feeling on this fluctuates 25) What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: i went to work and i dont remember what else 26) What Time Did You Wake Up: 5:03 pm my dude, i am a hero amongst men 27) What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: it’s hard to say, probably watching heroes and halfwits 28) Name Something You Can’t Wait For: idk man sleeping is so cool i’m into that 29) When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom: yesterday, which is wednesday

31) What Are You Listening to Right Now: it’s raining and the fan on my laptop is working overtime 32) Have You Ever Talked to a Person Named Tom: Ever? Certainly.

33) Something That is Getting on Your Nerves: lack of ability to gosh darn concentrate on writing 34) Most Visited Website: tumblr, youtube, achievementhunter.com in that order

36) Long or Short Hair: medium hair

37) Do You Have a Crush on Someone: not like a person i actually know 38) What Do You Like About Yourself: i have decent taste in merch 39) Piercings: two in each ear and then one (1) cartilage 40) Blood Type: O+ 41) Nickname: i do not 42) Relationship Status: No. 43) Zodiac: libra 44) Pronouns: she/they 45) Favorite TV Show: the only tv show i watch that is currently running is riverdale, i plan to pick up will and grace in the fall, other than that, Friends. 46) Tattoos: i do not. 47) Right or Left Handed: right 48) Surgery: what does this even mean? i had my wisdom teeth out when i was 17.  a few months ago i had a procedure where they shoved a camera down my throat and i told the doctor dude trying to put a cap on me that i ‘fucking love hats’ 49) Piercings: why is this here twice 50) Sport: Lets Play League - Team Achievement Hunter 51) Vacation: i went to disney two years ago with my grandparents. 52) Pair of Trainers: i have one (1) pair of black etnies that are nearly brand new, and four (4) pairs of black etnies that are completely worn out

More General

53) Eating: i ate a shitload when i got home from walmart, i had like jalapeno cheese, and bagels with jalapeno asiago cheese spread, and chicken salad, and some salami, just cuz im a fatass, whatever.  it was all delicious 54) Drinking: i also had a whole bottle of simply lemonade with raspberry, and i was thinking about mountain dew but it’s raining and the dew is in my car so its not worth it to go get 55) I’m About to: probably either sleep or try to write more 56) Waiting For: the sweet release of death 57) Want: to make better jokes 58) Get Married: nah 59) Career: well im unemployed, so jot that down

Which is Better

60) Hugs or Kisses: hugs are ballin 61) Lips or Eyes: eyes as long as they’re just, like, normal and inside a skull where they belong.  no need to rip one out and send it to me 62) Shorter or Taller: i prefer to be taller than everyone. 63) Older or Younger: i prefer to be older than everyone. 64) Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: arm are good, i guess? stomachs can be good for pillows.  again, no reason to rip one out and send it to me 65) Hookup or Relationship: relationship probably 66) Troublemaker or Hesitant: are these even opposites? i cause trouble and then get anxiety about it later lmao

Have You Ever

67) Kissed a Stranger: i have not 68) Drank Hard Liquor: (looks at pile of empties around me)... Yes. 69) Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: No, I’ve had the same pair since 2003 probably and i know right where they are (i don’t need them for anything so i don’t need an updated prescription) 70) Turned Someone Down: probably and not really been aware of it 71) Had Sex on the First Date: i have not 72) Broken Someone’s Heart: i like to assume i have 73) Had Your Heart Broken: sure 74) Been Arrested: No 75) Cried When Someone Died: Every single time 76) Fallen for a Friend: oh yeah

Do You Believe In:

77) Yourself: no i dont exist 78) Miracles: from god? no.  miracles as by coincidence or happenstance? maybe 79) Love at First Sight: absolutely 80) Santa Claus: sure. can i have presents? 81) Kiss on the First Date: is this something you can believe in? 82) Angels: only the kind that are incredibly beautiful women, sent here by some divine presence, and are too good, too pure for this world, like caiti ward

Other

83) Current Best Friends Name: becky, reece 84) Eye Color: blueish grey 85) Favorite Movie: Emperor’s New Groove still holds up, right?  Wonder Woman was pretty fuckin good

[yahargulian]

I was tagged to do this by the amazing @ravenwald, thank you so much my friend!! ❤ And oh my god feel free to come and complain about the controls of the Arkham games with me, I’m playing Arkham City currently and holy shit I feel your struggle there.

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people!

I’m not tagging anyone specifically, so if you’re reading this and want to give this a go then go for it, and say I tagged you!

LAST…

[1] drink: I’ve got a glass of blood orange flavoured Tango sat next to me and I’m drinking it through a really curly plastic green straw. Mostly because my teeth have hardly any enamel apparently, but also largely because I just think this one straw is really cool lmao

[2] phone call: My mum, I called her by accident and then she called back asking what was wrong bless her

[3] text message: My lil brother

[4] song you listened to: I’m listening to The One Reborn from the Bloodborne soundtrack ‘cause I really wanna play that game ohmygod

[5] time you cried: A few days ago I think? My perception is time is so screwed right now but I think that’s right

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope

[7] been cheated on: Pretty sure I haven’t

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: No

[9] lost someone special: Yeah

[10] been depressed: Oh heck yeah

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: No

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] Dark green

[13] Not sure what to call it but very purple-y red

[14] Indigo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes

[16] fallen out of love: Nope

[17] laughed until you cried: Quite a few times yeah

[18] found out someone was talking about you: No ?

[19] met someone who changed you: Yep

[20] found out who your true friends are: Possibly? Idk this question’s always been weird to me

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: No

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I know all of them in one way or another

[23] do you have any pets: A rabbit, his name is Oscar

[24] do you want to change your name: A little bit? My parents nearly called me Seren and I really like that name, so if I ever did I’d probably change it to that

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I just had a bunch of friends over. Some of them slept round and I think that was the time where like five of us fell asleep on the same bed, literally all piled on top of each other

[26] what time did you wake up: 12:30

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was either sat in bed reading fanfiction or I was sat in bed watching Game Grumps

[28] name something you cannot wait for: GOTHAM like holy shit its only 11 DAYS?? I’m shook, I’m screaming, I’m dying as we speak

[31] what are you listening to right now: Aloy’s Theme from the Horizon: Zero Dawn soundtrack, but I’m likely to go back to Bloodborne again in a minute lmao

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, I think he used to live down the road from me

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: My productivity levels, I’ve listerally done nothing today I woke up and immediately got distracted by remembering Bloodborne exists and that’s been it

[34] most visited website: Youtube and Tumblr

[35] elementary: We used to call it Hellzeldown

[36] high school: It has the name of where I live in it so I can’t lmao

[37] college: Same as the high school problem

[38] hair color: Brown

[39] long or short hair: It was like fairly long but I got it cut literally yesterday and now it’s waaaay shorter

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Not as far as I know lmao

[41] what do you like about yourself: My eyes are pretty cool!

[42] piercings: None but I’m debating getting one at some point

[43] blood type: A+ ? I think??

[44] nickname: Brit’s the most common one

[45] relationship status: Single

[46] zodiac sign: Leo/virgo

[47] pronouns: They/them

[48] fav TV show: Gotham, Preacher, Shadowhunters. Gotham stands as my Absolute Favourite tho

[49] tattoos: None but I’m debating that too

[50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: I’ve never had one

[52] piercing: None lmao

[53] best friend: I met her in either nursary or foundation year in primary school but we fell out midway through primary school and then she moved country and I never heard from her again

[54] sport: I never really did any sports team things

[55] vacation: Wales, and now we go there pretty much once every year

[56] pair of trainers: I barely managed to remember what I did for my last birthday earlier, there’s no way I’m gonna remember my first pair of trainers lmao

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Tiramisu

[58] drinking: I finished the blood orange Tango and just grabbed some Coca Cola

[59] I’m about to: Attempt to draw something and maybe legit just go buy Bloodborne jfc

[60] listening to: Broken Bones by Kaleo just came up on my Spotify shuffle 

[61] waiting for: My motivation to do anything to come back lmao

[62] want: To be warmer than I am, it’s a lil bit chilly in here

[63] get married: I mean I’m not entirely sure I wanna get married at all so I definitely don’t want to rn

[64] career: I applied for a job and I’m waiting for them to phone me hhhhhh

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: Hugs, always

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes but oh gosh lips too tbh

[67] shorter or taller: Both are good, I like both equally

[68] older or younger: I’d need like context to decide between these two

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach? Arms are also great tho

[71] sensitive or loud: I’m kinda both but I’d rather be sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, I’d just rather avoid all possibilities of conflict

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger: No

[75] drank hard liquor: I’m not actually... sure what counts as hard liquor so I have no idea

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ve lost sunglasses, but no

[77] turned someone down: Yep

[78] sex on first date: Nope

[79] broken someone’s heart: Ahh yeah

[80] had your own heart broken: I think so?

[81] been arrested: No

[82] cried when someone died: Yeah

[83] fallen for a friend: Yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: Occasionally

[85] miracles: In some sense

[86] love at first sight: Not love love but yes

[87] Santa Claus: No

[88] kiss on the first date: Sure, you can do what you want

[89] angels: Kind of?

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Taylor! My precious lil bean! (If you’re reading this, I love you so much!!)

[91] eye color: Blue, apparently like really blue

[92] favourite movie: I don’t really know if I have one all-time favourite, but I really love Dorian Gray, Sweeney Todd, and Wall-E

Like I said at the start, I’m not tagging anyone specifically on this. So if you’re reading this and want to give it a shot, consider yourself tagged! ❤