#and now when i watch its like no. gary was FORCED to change his life. he cant regress back to high school theres no way to do it!!

[cannoli-reader]

My Notes Watching The Wheel of Time show, season 1, episode 5

Originally posted on readandfindout.com on 12/3/21. There may be spoiler references to future WoT books, but any speculation on future TV show episodes is merely speculation, as these notes were made before seeing the next one.

01:20 – Don’t tell me we’re dawdling over funeral services. This is just what I signed onto an epic fantasy series for – cleaning dishes, funerals, ladies-only coming of age ceremonies, bathing and dancing.

02:51 – Gary Oldman Warder (Gaidin Oldman? ) is the focus of this mourning stuff, but why? Why do they think it is a better choice to have him all mopey instead of psychotically revenge-driven and indifferent to his own life? They also changed the death of a gentled man in the description of Owyn’s fate, from giving up the will to live, to having a sudden psychotic break and violently killing himself.

05:47 – The geography in this setting is broken. The Two Rivers is a few days from Tar Valon, apparently, or else Moiraine and Lan have gone insanely far out of their way. Are they really needed to escort a gentled man?

05:49 – Lan calls the White Tower home. No. He has no home. The Borderlands or the Blight are as much a home as he has.

05:54 – Moiraine meanwhile, does not think of the Tower as home, home is her saddle & traveling clothes and “this brooding man at my side” I don’t know, I suppose it’s a way to convey how much a partnership Moiraine has with him, and this medium of adaptation has to have people express their interiority verbally, so we get the tension his relationship with Nynaeve creates in their existing life. Best I can do. Otherwise, way to mix up your characterizations, show.

06:15 – This suggests that Stepin’s issue is something like a feeling of dishonor in failing to give his life for his Aes Sedai, not an affliction imposed by the Power.

06:22 – Between the Children taking trophies, and now the importance of delivering a fallen sister’s ring to the Tower, I think a WoT Novice is going to get the impression that the rings are magic, or contain their power or katra or hirac delest or what have you.

07:10 – For the record, children were the exception to Mat’s paranoia with the dagger in EotW, not a particular target of his ire. This is especially egregious when the show has gone out of its way to establish Mat as being especially protective of children.

08:04 – This view of Tar Valon, the Tower and Dragonmount is a lot more impressive than others I have previously seen. I still don’t like the design. This was built by the finest power-working humans could still recall after the Breaking, at the heights of the capabilities of the Third Age. Being a proportionately slim tower makes it look more like an impossible feat of engineering. This merely looks like a big building that took a lot of time or resources or mundane effort to construct. It also looks like it could have grown up in stages. The White Tower should be a singular work, like a wonder of the world.

08:42 – I hope they didn’t break their budget on that camel.

09:17 – The diversity and variety of people in Tar Valon might have been more impressive if we hadn’t opened the show in the multi-racial Two Rivers and encountered a multi-racial small mining town, a multi-racial Tinker caravan, a multi-racial force of Whitecloaks and a multi-racial band of Aes Sedai and warders.

09:32 - Rand wants to find Basel Gill’s (or some stupidly named friend of Thom’s) inn in order to freshen up before going to the White Tower. This is why half-bright TV-caliber writers should not change stuff. Rand and Mat came to Caemlyn intending to look for their friends before continuing to Tar Valon. That might mean waiting, if they were the first to arrive, or at the least, they'd need a home base where they can be found. And also to have someone local they can trust via Thom and a way to survive with their scant resources. None of these reasons should apply to coming to Tar Valon. They are at their goal, the White Tower, the one place they know for sure is associated with Moiraine, and where she is likely to come. ITB, they entertained the notion of checking in with Elaida, as Moiraine’s fellow Aes Sedai, until Gill advised against it, due to Thom’s history. Because that’s the most sensible and obvious thing to do. They have no need to stop at an inn when they are practically at their destination.

This can only be a ploy to meet Loial, since he is the only one of the Caemlyn crew I have seen listed as cast for Season 1. If so, that’s also stupid, because an Ogier would not have a problem with angry mobs in Tar Valon! They’d be going to the Tower or its library (In the books, he is wary of going to the Palace in Caemlyn where a Red sister is a prominent resident, just in case she's one of those who bear a grudge for Ogier sanctuary, and nervous about Aes Sedai in general). Edit from the future: That last trait seems completely absent in Show!Loial.

09:47 - If a night at this inn is more expensive than a month at the Winespring Inn, maybe you should go right to the Tower, hmm? I love it when a TV show accidentally doubles down on the stupidity of their forced plot choices. And apparently being a friend of Thom doesn’t cut as much ice on the show as in the book.

Of course, it just might be that the Winespring is rather cheap, because its clientele are greeted by suspicious women with hands on knife hilts.

10:03 - “Better than the road” Mat says, but it looks rather spacious for the sort of cheap flophouse two country boys with few liquid assets should be able to afford.

11:05 - Showing Moiraine, Lan & Nynaeve in the Tower already, just keeps making the inn issue seem worse.

11:11 - The Warders’ quarters cannot be the safest place in the Tower, that would be wherever Aes Sedai are. If Aes Sedai are the problem, as Moiraine says next, Warders are no protection! A Warder would not disobey a sister without orders from his own.

12:00 - After that nice little speech putting Tower politics into perspective for Nynaeve, I can’t help but think it undermined Moiraine’s point in making it. Nynaeve wanted to leave the Tower and look around because she does not trust Moiraine, who promises she has eyes and ears watching every gate and will know as soon as the kids enter. Moiraine’s monologue does nothing to address her mistrust. But going on and on about the dangerous intrigue skills of the Aes Sedai suggests that they are just as likely to have people watching, and maybe more. Moiraine has been away. The Tower is not her home as much as her saddle is! So how can she so confidently be assured of her command of the environment and her sources of information?

That we, the viewers, know Rand and Mat are in the city and checked in to an inn at the moment, also can’t help but call Moiraine’s assertions into question.

13:17 - This speech is pretty on-point for Nynaeve, and from Moiraine’s lips, could not be better calculated to piss her off. ITB Moiraine understood this, despite not being nearly as open & sharing as this Moiraine, which is why she only used her insights to jab at Nynaeve and prod her into doing what she wanted.

14:15 - Can we please stop talking about the Way of the Leaf, if you are too dumb to actually argue its morality and principles and can only reduce Perrin to nitpicking in order to accuse them of hypocrisy?

Also, ITB, the Tinker dogs were menacing in appearance but trained not to bite.

14:20 - How is the Way of the Leaf about accepting the violence that is in all of us? The Way only accepts the harm that befalls a victim of violence, it does not accept violence itself! How does this even fit in with Ila’s “peace is the best revenge on violence” blather?

14:40 - Perrin, the canonically highly observant man, whose contact with the wolves should have started enhancing his senses, needs to be told that they are in sight of the Tower.

16:50 - "Bastards" again. Female-dominated culture. No stigma against illegitimacy. What’s wrong with adjectives used for the Children ITB, like “vile”?

17:20 - Much as I am on board with crapping all over the Tinkers’ pacifism and especially its efficacy, it just feels like the show is being kind of mean-spirited here, which feels like a symptom of trying to be edgy and cool grimly realistic and pragmatic. You shouldn’t have the Tinkers so epically fail in the face of opposition so soon. ITB, leaving them was like leaving behind an idyll, a moving haven. We get that sense again in tSR, when the Two Rivers men are welcomed into their camp after the Waterwood ambush goes bad on them. Their refusal to accept the shelter and safety of the village is both innocent and sad, because we know Emond’s Field isn’t like those other bad villages that would pick on them, especially with Perrin and friends there, right? But it really does seem like the Tinkers float through the world in a safe bubble. The Whitecloaks can rough them up a bit, but they don’t actually harm them. Bornhald even specifically orders one of his more brutal soldiers not to. And that all means it hurts worse for Perrin to see them in distress when they eventually turn up at Emond’s Field, sans wagons and Aram’s mom, among others. As it is, seeing the Children slap them around and their utter failure to protect Perrin and Egwene, they can never feel like a safe haven again.

17:50 - Loial talks fast. Actually, I’m glad we’re not having to suffer through Entish diction, but his dialogue feels… hasty.

18:10 - The blonde hair is too distracting. And he feels too small. This does not look like a guy who needs a specially constructed bed to be comfortable. He also sounds very mature. Middle-aged or elderly.

18:27 - Loial’s home borders the Aiel lands. He should not merely know the Aiel exclusively through books. If he does only know them from books, he should have been flabbergasted at the sword which Rand drew before so much as saying his name! And for that matter, how would he think a swordsman, drawing a weapon unveiled, is an Aielman?

19:10 - Egwene seemed much less into The Travels of Jain Farstrider than Rand and Perrin. She was not frequently referencing it or seen reading it in her spare time, and did not even notice when Rand named his horse from the book.

20:11 - That was not bad characterization of Loial. The aesthetics could use improvement, but that’s more of a personal taste issue.

21:10 - They’re throwing crap on Aes Sedai. In Tar Valon. ITB Tar Valon folk would never chuck stuff, even at a false Dragon, if there was a chance of disrespecting an Aes Sedai just by accident.

I do find it amusing that the Aes Sedai got a new cage for the procession and are faking guarding him as if he can still channel, even if it means getting pelted with fruit, all for appearances sake.

21:33 - Or IS he gentled? If he was, how does Logain see what Rand (and I suppose, Mat, if we are still going with the pretense that it could be either of them) is?

22:43 - Mat’s accent and hirsute state make him seem like an early 1960s rock singer, but in his later, experimental-album-writing, drugged-out, eastern-mysticism-appropriating phase.

23:22 - As I was commenting on the parade, above, part of me was thinking “Stop being so nitpicky, Cannoli, Liandrin and Alanna are probably subtly protecting themselves with air-umbrellas” and I refrained from mentioning it because if a book reader tried to argue the case with me, I could argue that the show has not sufficiently established this was a thing they can do. But it seems they were not doing that! They were letting themselves get pelted with ordure just to maintain the façade of shielding a gentled man.

Even I, it turns out, am giving the show too much credit.

23:24 - This white nightshirt-looking thing has me thinking there is going to be something like suttee in Stepin’s future.

23:40 - Every time a TV writer has a character offer unsolicited irrelevant details about his father, that writer should lose a body part.

24:10 - The death of Stepin’s hated father affected him the way the breaking of his Warder bond is actually supposed to.

24:32 - Alcohol is much more of a social lubricant on the show. ITB, it’s only soldiers and low-class men who go drinking together. There is a reason why Nynaeve and many other women and classy dudes look down on it as a pastime. Aes Sedai certainly don’t bond with people over drinks.

25:24 - Here it is again. A TV character cannot have a heartfelt moment returned. The script always has to duck away from emotion or sincerity by mocking its efforts in that direction. The script is treating viewers like Rand was treating people when Cadsuane diagnosed him as needing to get back to being human.

26:03 - I don’t know what to make of Stepin’s snap-back at Lan. Coming in light of the fact that ITB, Lan does lose Moiraine and marry her replacement the day he catches up to her, I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be an in-joke or metatextual criticism, or what.

And real Lan does not do the stereotypical guy thing of offering practical solutions to emotional problems. He either directly addresses your issue if he thinks it’s called for or keeps his mouth shut.

26:48 - I feel like statues to Warders would not be a thing. Maybe Lan’s habitual self-abnegation has affected my perception of them as a whole, but I get more of a vibe of them taking pride in being the anonymous shadows of their Aes Sedai, serving without glory or recognition by any but their comrades in arms. You don’t make larger-than-life statues of guys whose uniform makes them literally fade into the background. I mean, who remembers the warders of such legendary sisters as Caraighan or Rashima or Cadsuane?

26:58 - Over the edge, or into the firepit?

27:31 - Okay, what even is this tradition? If the dead Aes Sedai’s rings not taken as trophies by their killers, are all melted into this ever-heated pot thing, why is it the warders and only the warders in attendance? Why is the Amyrlin not leading the ceremony? Where are all her sisters? Lan and Ihvon and Maksim are just some dudes who happened to be there when she died, and all the others present not even that. What about all the women she lived and worked with for decades or centuries? Best friends? Family? No matter what Stepin is to her, there should be Aes Sedai at least somewhat closer to her than all those nameless Warders. What about with the Reds who die?

28:02 - Really! This is like Moiraine is comforting Lan over Kerene’s death! This all makes no sense!

28:45 - This is all very unnecessarily rapey. This is completely not the kind of thing that should exist in the world of WoT. This is like a patriarchal world where a militant dissident group of women were allowed to humiliate and violate a random young male of the elite class. It would never be tolerated!

31:00 - This is waaay too much One Power literacy for the Children of the Light. And it still does not explain how they manage to effect the capture of sisters. Yes, they have become overly reliant on gestures, but nowhere are Aes Sedai ever impeded by limitations on their range of motion.

31:12 - The whole portrayal of the Children of the Light comes across as a fan who really, really, really hates them and has decided to make them as despicable as he can imagine with their creepy bathing thing and the torture devices. Because readers project their own issues. They see a group of men who oppose actions only done by women and they start projecting all sorts of real-world misogyny on them, when there is no indication in the books that the Children are any more sexist than anyone else, and considerably less so than the Aes Sedai (the closest we get is their sins of the father lasting longer than sins of the mother scripture). These readers self-identify with the coolest and most powerful group in the story and project resentment and envy on those who oppose them.

Every single way in which the world of WoT is worse than reality is entirely 100% due to the existence of channelers. The Children have a point! That’s the thing about, WoT, everyone has a legitimate and defensible perspective, outside of the Shadow, which in turn, highlights that their differences are much less important than the fact that they are NOT serving the Shadow and should be working together, should be trying to find common ground.

In the specific case of the Children, while Jordan clearly disapproved of their conduct, stating that he explicitly based them on historical organizations that claimed a monopoly on truth, he DID, in fact, base them on actual groups of humans, that large numbers of well-meaning, decent human beings belonged to. That’s why they are redeemable. That’s why there are numerous parallels and reflections of the White Tower worked into the Children of the Light. They are the flip-side of the fallen institution the White Tower has become. Name a sin of the Children and the Aes Sedai commit its opposite or counterpart when they do not do the same thing themselves.

For example, Thom presents us with our first impression of the Children with his warning to Nynaeve in Baerlon, but the next time he lectures on the subject, to Aviendha in Ebou Dar, six books later, he is shown making statements the readers know to be factually wrong, that Jaichim Carridin could never be subject to his organization’s scrutiny, when Niall threatened him with that in Book 3. And we have also seen the extent to which most Aes Sedai, and the White Tower, officially, is in denial about the Black Ajah.

The show is swapping out a well-meaning organization that has fallen from its noble goals and aspirations, that can be redeemed in time to contribute to the Last Battle, for over-the-top cartoonish antagonists. Their vague attempt at over-compensating with OoC Nice Bornhald a couple episodes ago doesn’t help any.

31:48 - This is out-of-character nonsense, because screenwriters only know one way to portray strength or courage: threats of violence. Egwene did that exactly zero times when captive of the Children, because she’s not that big of an idiot, and because any victim knows that’s a good way to be victimized worse.

33:36 - Leaving them alone makes no sense from a tactical standpoint. It would especially give a channeler the opportunity to work some barely-functional weave with the minimal use of her hands she still has, to effect an escape, unobserved. Valda is acting not out of any sensible motivations from his point of view, but in a way that suits the writers, to further the plot.

34:22 - Why randomly change sheepstongue to goatstongue?

34:55 - Book Nynaeve would not miss that Stepin is trying to get a lethal dose of sleeping meds.

35:50 - Please, please, please do not flex your brilliant creative writing chops have someone come up and offer unsolicited backstory on the warder statues.

36:10 - Fuck.

36:20 - Why, for the love of the Light, would Liandrin describe Warders as having “bonded themselves to my sisters”? She knows that’s not how it works! Why would a man-hating Red credit them with such agency?

And how can those statues represent “the tens of thousands of men who (were Warders)” if they are almost as old as the Tower itself? They represent Warders who had not been born when they were carved?

36:54 - “Men still control much of this world.” So either Judkins & company totally misread the setting of the books, or else they decided to change one of the things that made WoT unique and different from so much other generic fantasy.

Why don’t you show us how “men still control much of this world” instead of showing women holding exclusive access to a particular source of power and then making them look super incompetent for not actually being able to leverage that into equality, if not domination.

37:05 - So they want to have their cake and eat it too. Powerful women, in control and ruling in their own right, but they’re also rebels pushing back against the patriarchy that seeks to hold them down.

And persimmons are harvested in the fall. They are very bitter until they ripen and mature. They would not be “coming into season” in the spring. Unless the festival in episode 1 was actually a variant of Samhain, as I jokingly suggested back then…

38:02 - From Liandrin showing Nynaeve the library, to Loial announcing he is allowed on the Tower grounds (so why stay at the so-expensive inn? ) and found Nynaeve there. No need to show us Loial discerning this was Rand’s friend, or persuading Nynaeve that he knew where Rand was, or hell, Nynaeve’s reaction to meeting an Ogier. Nah, we needed that airtime for Warder bullshit rituals. So much of this abomination reeks of arrogant fan fixes, why not perform an actual minor improvement by showing Loial and Nynaeve interacting together, which the books didn’t?

And I am calling bullshit on Loial’s explanation that he identified Nynaeve as a Two Rivers woman by her braid, because she’s the only one with that kind of braid whom we see! Everyone else has these little single pigtails, while Nynaeve practically has a mass of tentacles as we saw in the final scene last week.

38:43 - If we were going to have dagger-afflicted Mat reunite with Nynaeve in this same episode, why did we need Moiraine to articulate Nynaeve’s character struggles, when Mat canonically did so in this encounter ITB?

39:15 - Okay, at least there’s a reason for Rand avoiding the Tower, now. But it’s only because of the other stupidity of the channeling head fake, and why then did he come into Tar Valon and hang out with Mat on a balcony watching an Aes Sedai parade (which Moiraine, Lan & Nynaeve skipped out on because the plot needed them to not find the boys yet)?

39:33 - This inn looks a lot like a castle inside.

40:33 - Why is a show that clearly sees itself as being so much better a feminist work than Jordan’s writing, refusing to use Doral Barran’s canonical name?

40:56 - Egwene is just like so awessumm! When she was like, ten, she had like, this super deadly disease, and she never cried and refused her pain meds! Isn’t she the greatest? Egwene has, like, a SUPER willpower. Ohmuhgawd, slay queen!

45:02 - This should be a Perrin thing, but they made it all about Egwene. Her pep talk is framed as inspiring him and at best the manifestation of his power is merely a distraction for Egwene to strike the decisive blow.

47:00 - However crap the writing, I like how the actress playing Liandrin is trying to sell it.

47:28 - Nynaeve, the libertarian avatar of WoT, has “a certain force of will she cannot hide. A sense that the world would be better if everyone obeyed the rules.” A. that’s shit grammar. B. “(Nynaeve) did not care much for rules…other people rarely saw the situation as clearly as she, and thus made stupid rules.” Nynaeve has a long list of things of which she does not approve, but she never tries to ram them down anyone’s throat. She disapproves of drunkenness, but also of Maseema closing taverns. She disapproves of premarital sex, but travels with Rand & Min who are clearly cohabitating, without a word of judgment or rebuke. She dislikes Moiraine but doesn’t like the idea of Rand bossing her around. She encourages the Kin to stand up for themselves, even when personally inconvenient. If she comes across as bossy, it’s because she believes in people and encourages them to be what she sees as their best selves. Not to follow rules. Not even her rules. If there is a single “chaotic good” character in WoT, it is Nynaeve. Mat (highly organized military commander and strict disciplinarian) is a paragon of law and order next to her.

47:58 - Stepin is a screenwriting trope magnet. Now we have the thing where a character is engaged in some pointless little activity and when someone comes up behind him, he launches into an anecdote about the meaning of this thing he is doing, in such a way that critics who like to congratulate themselves on their analysis chops can see ties to a theme of the episode or character arc.

48:13 - I guess that Old Tongue gibberish prayer last episode is intended to scare any casual viewers away from the Old Tongue dictionary resources, so they don’t realize that Ishamael means “betrayer of hope”, not “father of lies.” Which, by the way, is the Dark One.

48:29 - Member of an organization which knows the Forsaken for merely human channelers asks if Lan still believes in them, like they are spirits or demons.

This praying to the Forsaken does not even make any sense.

49:20 - The fact that releasing the bond is an obscure bit of esoterica that Moiraine knows and a Green does not, is beyond belief. Why would anyone bond a Warder, or at least so many sisters on screen, if there was no way to get out of it? ITB, it is commonly known, for the very specific and explicit purpose of protecting a Warder from just what Stepin is going through! In fact, it’s the only Tower-approved use of that technique. According to Jordan, releasing a Warder who really wants to quit is a thing, but is thought to reflect badly on the sister who bonded him in the first place, when he was clearly unsuited or unable to follow through on the commitment.

50:20 - Graceful, serene, smooth, utterly ladylike Moiraine Damodred, lying in bed with her boots on.

50:45 - They seem to be switching out Liandrin for Elaida. Which, on the one hand, makes me wonder if she’s actually a Darkfriend, and on the other, I suspect that she is, and they are, again, overegging the pudding by making Siuan’s rival even more heinous, as with the Whitecloaks. Not enough that the opposition has to be in the wrong, they have to be eeeevil, too.

50:56 - I remain fairly certain they are playing up Siuan’s supposed enmity toward Moiraine to build to the shocking reveal that they are friends, confidantes, and probably, given the sector of fandom they are clearly pandering to here, lovers and soulmates.

51:50 - Can’t tell what that picture is supposed to be. Leaning real hard into the Battle of Winterfell lighting style. This is the freaking White Tower! It looks more gray from the outside, you’d think they could at least make it bright inside, to convey the power and superiority of the Aes Sedai. Light is a way to show off your wealth and status in a pre-electrical time. And lets the audience see better.

52:01 - Ah, Stepin’s drugging Lan, so he can’t stop Stepin from killing himself.

52:09 - Warders can’t feel their bondholder’s other Warders. If they do, Elayne basically involuntarily bonded Birgitte and Rand to each other. She would not have done that, especially in the context of Rand’s revelation about Alanna. What I suspect is thoughtless polyamory pandering.

52:22 - Yep. Warder bonds are sexual by default. And when you bring up this stuff in an episode that highlights the Reds’ refusal to bond Warders, it leans even harder on their anti-male thing. Stepin’s never been homosexual, but Alanna’s just going to rewrite his sexuality because she and Moiraine decided it would be best for him. His attitude is that of someone who is resigned to something he has no say in. The weird thing is, it fits with my prediction of his fate, which in turn makes the whole bonding issue creepy, with Stepin killing himself to avoid this mental enslavement and/or rape, which is, first of all, not in keeping with the open-minded posture the show is taking with regard to sexual fluidity and secondly, a weird thing to do when you consider the relationship of bonds and romantic partners for the main characters. Especially when the showrunner has expressly stated Rand’s relationship(s) is a subject of particular interest to him. Not to mention, it undercuts his suffering from the loss of his bonded sister, if you add in a more tangible reason for suicide. This makes it less about his loss of Kerene and more about avoiding Alanna.

53:22 - Stepin acknowledges Lan’s toughness with a smile as Lan drinking the tea Stepin made replaces him in the focus.

54:35 - Lan twigs to Stepin’s suicidal inclinations by the absence of a knife from the …rack?... on the mantel. Rather than, oh, only every shot of him in this episode?

55:56 - Good thing their mission just happened to bring Lan into contact with his good buddy Stepin right before his tragic loss so they could have this important time together. Or, you know, not. And instead of sticking with the storyline that sold 90 million copies. I forget – are book readers known for being easier to please and less critical than television viewers? Because that might explain why you ditch the storyline that satisfied so many readers that they went out and bought more books, and instead go with a bunch of trope-laden, formulaic, invented scenes and stories that TV has been doing to death.

56:33 - Why are there Aes Sedai here too?

57:25 - Lan barely showed any sign of weeping for Moiraine, his companion and partner for twenty years, while suffering the effects of a severed bond. But he’s breaking down over Stepin NobodyCares. And Stepin gets a bigger funeral than an Aes Sedai. Where everyone wears funeral vestments. These ceremonies make no sense in any context other than “Let’s have a sad Lan episode.”

We had fan favorite tragic backstory Lan ITB with only one exposition monologue and a brief, understated conversation. We did not need 1/8 of the first volume of an epic fantasy adventure devoted primarily to building up a sad fate for an invented best friend to become fascinated with al’Lan Mandragoran, Last Lord of the Seven Towers. That guy is easily recognizable as someone who is the seed of a dozen myths and a hundred legends. There are no legends inspired by the tough guy who was sometimes stoic and sometimes pratfall-prone, whose friend died of maybe grief and maybe to escape mind-rape slavery. And we know it’s sad because the person doing the thing to Lan that made Stepin kill himself is staring damp-eyed at him!

I feel like book Lan would have only raged at the system and institutions which drove Stepin into this corner, or else, if that’s not the narrative they are trying to tell, stoically accepted his friend’s desire not to go on without his bondholder. That is, after all, a huge thing for Lan, that his life is just a tool to be used against the Shadow and death is lighter than a feather etc etc. He would have been dead already if Moiraine had not bonded him and cannot imagine living without her and has to be compelled not to follow her into the grave.

57:44 - The more subdued and distant expressions of Ihvon and Maksim suggest they really wanted to bone Stepin and are more sorry about missing their chance. At least Maksim seems to know where on the body the human heart is located. Lan is punching his shoulder.

57:55 - This shot tells me two things. 1. They have not put back Stepin’s suicide knife on the rack where it belongs. And 2. Nynaeve is really sad and either worried or confused. I lean toward worried, because she blithely handed over the drugs that Stepin used to keep Lan from preventing his suicide. The gentling of Nynaeve continues. There is a lot of lip service paid to her strength of will and her potential abilities, but after her authority was nerfed away in the village and her agency was dragged off by the braid. Her demonstration of tracking skills was played for laughs at Lan’s expense, her essential character as a consummate healer was tainted by her leveraging her skills to get her way and now her moment of heroism is done away with as Perrin and Egwene escape without outside help, she is passively brought together with her friends by Loial, off-screen, she leaves a sick Mat in the inn while she dispenses herbs in the Tower and attends Warder ceremonies, and she got bamboozled by a premeditated suicide.

58:01 - Moiraine is lightly tapping her collarbone. This amuses me.

Looking back at my first time-stamp, I had no idea what I was getting into. Something like 20% of the episode's screentime is used on three funeral/memorial/burial scenes that do NOTHING to advance the plot and tell us nothing about the Emond's Field main characters and at BEST, vaguely serviced Lan as a 'tragic hero with an unbearable burden of sorrow' type, which misses the mark wildly.

Seriously, why not just write your own fantasy show and culture without paying Harriet Rigney to use the names her husband came up with? The elements they appear to be keeping from the story are sufficiently generic you could change the names and no one could sue.

We have an episode centered on Dana the Darkfriend and one about the Warder of a sister who died off the page in New Spring. Which gave us more characterization from a description of her living quarters than we got on the screen. And all this comes at the expense of the future savior of the world. Baalzamon has yet to have a single line of dialogue. We don't get Elyas, or Elaida or the Trakand family this season, Thom has a bit part in two episodes, but we can have Dana and Stepin as the prominent guest stars. Padan Fain was last seen ducking behind his wagon during the Trolloc attack, and I'm sure WoTNovices have forgotten about him.

Anecdotally, Jeff Bezos wanted Amazon to make the "next Game of Thrones." You know what Game of Thrones did to become wildly successful? Adhered as closely as possible within the limitations of adaptation to a different format and budgetary constraints plus the writers' limited comprehension of the themes, setting and characters allowed for the first three seasons. We did not have a good third to half of an episode devoted to the sad backstory of Desmond the Guard.

Burn this choss to the Pit of Doom.

[landofgay]

THE WORLDS END IS ABOUT HOW IF YOU DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO MOVE ON IN YOUR LIFE AND ALLOW MAJOR CHANGE TO HAPPEN, MAJOR CHANGE WILL BE FORCED UPON YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT AND IT IS UNAVOIDABLE AND INESCAPABLE.

[fleckcmscott]

The Move

Summary: Arthur and Y/N ready themselves - and their belongings - for what comes next.

Words: 2,648

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: This is a story that came to me on the drive home from a recent trip with my husband. I hope you all enjoy it! Special thanks to @jokerownsmysoul​ for beta-reading! 💜

In his dreams, Arthur was the ideal suitor.

Flirting came naturally. He reserved private tables at romantic restaurants, the ones with candlelight and strolling violinists. He picked up the tab with confidence, slipped an impressive tip in the check presenter. After wining and dining, he escorted his date back to her building, extoled how beautiful she was without retches of laughter. Words smooth and kisses smoother, he stole promises he'd see her again the next night.

Now that'd he'd see Y/N on the daily, he could inch towards that aspiration. Move a little closer to the man he was supposed to be. Learn to infer what she wanted with a glance rather than ask what she meant (or guess and hope he was right).

The last pair of stretched-out white briefs flew in the 18" x 18" box. Letting out a long breath, he slumped on the sofa, put his arm along the back and finished his instant iced tea. He surveyed 8J, the checked wallpaper, the paintings, Penny's silk flowers with wire stems - poverty's notion of class. It was only after his mother had gone to Endsbury Place that he'd sampled respite, that this apartment had become his. In his soul, he was a provider. He would have liked providing Y/N with this home. But without Penny here, he could no longer afford the rent, the catchiest of Catch-22s.

All plush carpets and light and windows that didn't stick, he had to admit Y/N's apartment was better. No long-forgotten ghosts of neglect haunted its corners, the electricity never went out. There was too much here that didn't belong to him, anyway. Like a boy in school forced to wear a dunce cap, he'd been restricted to the back corner, with the air conditioner and vent stack. Out of the way, never a disturbance. A life to go sight unseen.

And now his life was changing irrevocably, a giant leap for Arthur-kind, when up until then what he'd managed was a shuffle to the left.

He'd have to update his address at the bank and BMV, give Gary and Dr. Ludlow his new phone number, switch his prescriptions from Helms to Groves. Monitor his nail biting, adjust to pants no longer being optional, stop talking to himself at all hours in funny voices. A trickle of fear knotted his ribs. What if he slipped and she saw the worst of him?

What if he didn't like living with her?

A good dose of jitters pricked his fingers, an unexpected stage fright. They trembled when he grabbed his journal from the coffee table. The happiness slanted all over the pages felt as if it'd been written by someone else. "Moving boxes were $2.00 each. Bags at the store are free." "I move in with MY GIRLFRIEND next week!!!" "I was brushing my teeth when Y/N came in the bathroom. She didnt knock. She kissed me and said she looked forward to watching me do that more offten. She was so sweet. I made her late for work."

A couples counselor had been a guest on Gotham Today last weekend, promoting his book and dolling out advice. According to him, relationships got into trouble because men and women were from two different galaxies. They spoke different languages, expressed affection in ways the opposite sex couldn't comprehend, had barely matched desires and goals. None of it had made any sense to Arthur. Often it felt as if he and Y/N were the only ones on the same planet.

He traced the scraggly happy face in the margin. Maybe it'd be as easy as the movies promised. Sure, there was no way she'd allow him to smoke inside, but he'd mastered sticking his arm through the fire escape door to savor nicotine on cold winter nights. (And not having yellow film cling to every surface was nice.) They knew each other well. Loved one another. It had to work.

On that thought, he stuck his notebook in the nearest bag and hastened to the kitchen to make a much-needed phone call.

~~~~~

Y/N set Arthur's bags on the floor and shrugged out of her coat. She hung it on the usual peg, then kicked off her kitten heels and put her hand on her hip. She tipped her head down and towards him, an expectant smile on her face. "Come in, Arthur."

Arthur parked the moving dolly diagonally across from the kitchen entrance, steadied the cookbooks and LPs on top with a hovering hand. With a slowness she wasn't sure was deliberate, he peeled off his tan jacket. A muttered oh yeah and he dug out his keys. They clanked in the ceramic dish on the counter.

The light on the Phonesitter answering machine blinked a bright red. She pressed the playback button, paying no mind that he was right behind her. After all, they'd hear each other's messages now.

His baritone rasped from the tape, stating he was almost done and to come over whenever. She made a soft sound. If only she'd checked her messages at lunch instead of working through it, she might have seen him before 5:47 PM.

Then Mabel's voice came on the recording, her sister's slight Missouri accent thickened by astonishment. "Y/N." Whenever her name was a complete sentence, her sister was about to enter Serious Business territory. "If you're going to put this guy's name in your greeting, I need to talk to him. Call me!"

"She'll keep until Friday," Y/N said, resting on the counter. "I ordered Chinese before I left work. It should be here any minute." Front teeth pressed into her lower lip, she slid on her nylons to stand beside him and opened the drawer to the right of the sink. "Matt said I've been grinning all day. Patricia tried to pester me with the latest motions from the Wayne case. But nothing - nothing - could stop how happy you make me." She held the wine opener out to him.

Firm but chaste, Arthur's mouth collided with hers, passion and something severe she couldn't quite identify teasing at the edges. His swiftness startled her into dropping the corker. It clattered to the floor. A fuzzy delight filled her every pore. She squeezed his middle, licked the corners of his lips, pressed herself into the lean musculature of his slender physique. "I love you," she said, closing her eyes.

A low hiccup as he cradled the back of her head. He pecked her forehead, the apples of both cheeks. "Good. I love you, too."

~~~~~

"Where should we put these?" Y/N asked from where she knelt on the bedroom floor, makeup brushes in one hand, pots of greasepaint in another.

Standing at the bureau on her side of the bed, Arthur eyed the bag at her side. His spoon scraped his cardboard oyster pail. He shoveled another heap of pork fried rice into his mouth. "Just leave them with my wig. They can go in there." His elbow indicated the closet.

Before complying, she couldn't stop herself from nosing around his prop bag. There were modelling balloons, a classic magic wand, an extra pair of shoelaces. The record of children's songs made her giggle, its track list a reminder of when she'd mooed and baaed and ee-i-ee-i-ohed. Then she pulled out his flower flecked shirt, yellow vest, and patched brown trousers. "These deserve to be hung up," she said, holding them against herself for size.

His response was to rub the nape of his neck.

They'd gotten through a third of his belongings in the last couple hours. Though she asked for his input on where he wanted them all, he'd demurred to her again and again. Fear of having an opinion was a side of him she hadn't seen. The sixth time it'd irked her. The ninth it'd softened her heart.

When she'd moved in with her ex-husband, she'd adapted to his routine of work, law school, and more work. Adapting had been easy because she hadn't yet become herself. At seventeen and only having lived with her parents, she'd known three things: college started in the fall, she could use further tips from her mother on keeping house. And she wanted her marriage and settling down to work, as it seemed to for everyone else.

Yet, her mind had carved pathways of worry. What if the raven whiskers Jeff left in the sink stopped being sweet traces and started to annoy? What would he think about seeing her floss, hunched over the sink and drooling? Though they'd regularly had sex by that point, they'd never spent the night together. Doing so would've started gossip - he'd wanted to spare her that. What if she couldn't get used to sleeping beside someone?

The ensuing months of wedded bliss and years of matrimonial misfortune had provided enough practice to waylay current ruminations. Arthur had borne witness to dried saliva on her pillow and still hugged her at the hip. Sleeping next to him was a pleasure more comforting than she'd remembered it could be. Any nerves were paired with the excitement of promise, a promise both new and right. Butterflies tickled her insides, like when she'd wake to his scent tangled in her sheets. Doubt and insecurity were bad testimony, to be expunged and forgotten.

But her elation at living together had blinded her to how challenging this might be for him. A man who'd never left home.

Using the corner chair as leverage, she stood and hung Carnival's splashy hues on the closet rod. Next to her ruffled blouses and neutral blazers, they looked out of place. She moved her burgundy skirt four spaces to the right, until the crimplene brushed his plaid jacket.

"We don't have to unpack everything tonight. When I got here, it took me about a week to find my umbrella." She shook pins and needles out of her right foot. "Where do you want to work on your act?"

"The dining table. That's what I did at home. I mean- back on Anderson." A forceful sigh as he dropped to the foot of the bed. "Why did you change your message? Before I was here?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't change your mind."

Unspoken hesitations gaped his thin lips. One question settled in the deep lines of his crow's feet: but what if you had?

​She perched on his knee, slung an arm about his neck. "When I made coffee this morning, I almost forgot the milk. All I could think about was how much better it tastes when you're with me."

"What if I screw up and annoy you?"

"We'll screw up and annoy each other. You're a wonderful boyfriend. You'll be wonderful at this, too. You know, it's funny. I didn't want to live anyone again. I was afraid to lose the life I'd built for myself here." Before Gotham, she'd tried to build two and failed at both. Pecking his hairline, she swept a curl from his forehead. "But you cured me of that. I want to build together. Pass me a brick?"

He pressed a kiss just below her thumb, turned to lay his cheek in her palm. After a few moments, understanding lit his eyes. A half-smile quirked. "There are just a couple small things."

She unbuttoned his collar, ran the back of her fingers along the cords of his neck. His pulse thudded beneath her knuckles. "Tell me."

Leaning back on his hands, he said, "I want to put our mugs by the coffee machine. And I keep my cigarettes next to the phone."

~~~~~

It took seventeen seconds for hot water to reach Y/N's kitchen faucet. The bedroom door squeaked if vegetable oil wasn't rubbed on the hinges once a month. She preferred the heat set to seventy-two degrees. He knew all of this.

Now that he lived here? The lines of her apartment were at once a familiar sidewalk and a foreign desert, its dunes the rabbit ears he had to adjust to get NCB, the sofa where his mouth had first made love to her.

The pendulum of his heart needed to stay at twelve. The switches from gladness to concern to what the fuck do I think I'm doing were getting harder to endure. He longed for his soul to quiet and come home here, as they'd planned, as he'd journaled and dreamed of and expected.

His prescriptions sat next to her cosmetics in the bathroom, as normal as Aspirin. His humble VHS collection of public domain movies was piled on the middle shelf of the TV stand. She'd emptied two drawers of her dresser for his underwear, socks, and cardigans. Her alluring nighties resided beneath.

She'd whipped his green blanket, chintzy and cheap but unwashed and smelling of 8J, on top of her floral comforter. He'd helped her make the bed - the bed they currently lay in - tucked dark green sheets under the corners, the same sheets he'd chosen at Donahue's last weekend. The shopping trip had been one anticipatory blur that'd ended with cocoa at a diner and no sleep.

The shadows that usually cast themselves across his psyche should have stayed at bay. But his sternum ached at all the changes. Tossing and turning, he forced himself to his back and tried not to carry on. Being blissfully alive would never feel natural, he figured. Might as well be quiet about it and not disturb her.

Y/N shifted towards him and put her head on his shoulder. "How are we doing?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep you up." He scoffed. A sniffle and a prayer he'd be able to stymie the water in his eyes, stop his nose from running. "I'm not used to this."

"I should've invited you to my bed more often."

"No," he said, more stricken than intended. Teasing wasn't what he needed, not now.

Fingertips caressed his belly, an easy back and forth on tautened sinews. Her pinky dipped into his navel. "Help me understand?"

The desire to get this right bottled his breath in his chest. "I've never had my own shampoo. My mother and I always shared it. Our towels were from wherever she worked. We used the same sheets. My clothes didn't go in her closet - I never thought to ask. I had my hangers in the living room. That's how it always was. And here you- you're making me chose everything and giving up space for me. It feels strange." He put his arm over his eyes in a last-ditch attempt at hiding his absurdity. "I dunno. I'm just glad you're letting me stay."

Her nightgown brushed his bicep, the sheet fell away as she sat. "I'm not letting you stay. We made this decision together. This is as much your place as it is mine." The shake of her head was audible in her stubborn delivery. From anyone else, he would have felt scolded. Before he could tell her to forget it and go to sleep, she lay across him, her weight a reminder, a preview of the future they were stepping into. She pulled his forearm from his face. "And I'm not giving anything up. I'm gaining you."

A trickle of orange light snuck between the window shades behind the bed. She looked determined, the way she did whenever she believed he was wrong about himself and set out to correct him. He smiled. He had a sudden urge to kiss her, but a queer sort of shyness overcame him. Instead, he pulled her to lie beside him, guided her to turn around, an arm about her waist. Her lips brushed the back of his hand, her bottom nestled against him. His grip on her tightened.

That he could be something to gain was a drop of water in swirling sands.

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​​​​​​​ @ithinkimaperson​​​​​​​ @sweet-nothings04​​​​​​​ @stephieraptorr​​​​​​​ @rommies​​​​​​​ @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1​​​​​​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​​​​​​​ @hhandley80​​​​​​​ @jokerownsmysoul​​​​​​​ @rafaelbottom​​​​​ @ralugraphics​​​​​​​ @iartsometimes​​​​​​​ @fleckficgirl​

[sokayisaidiot]

Why Tommy is one of THE BEST written characters in existence.

Alright, that’s it

Here I give you my fuckin Take on why Tommy is one of the best written characters out there and can easily compete with best-selling Novels like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I’m sick of a trashing that doesn’t even make sense. So buckle up. Here I will tell you why Tommy has one of the best written characters in history of Books and Movies. Remember, I write this all in my perspective and take many examples of other character books as well

Before this all starts, I will also talk about the main characters of some series, since Tommy has the reputation of being a “main” character.

When I look at the books I’ve read, I see a large range of characters and there way of making the story interesting.

Now, to establish a good character, we need key points of motivations, to make them relatable and bla bla blub:

Personality

Part of the story

Their Powers

Flaws

Relationships

Prized Possessions

History/the backstory

The moral and story the character tells

First tho, I want to explain some words I’m going to use here!

Mary Sue/Gary Stu:

Those are characters who are flawless, have missing chunks of personality and mostly one way written. They are easy to achieve when you are trying to make your character look badass.

Examples in some Fandoms are

·      Rey Skywalker (Star Wars Sequels 7-9)

·      Hermione Granger (Harry Potter Movies)

·      Bella Swan (Twilight)

Tree-System:

Imagine a tree. You plant something small and soon you have something giant with many branches, roots and connections. You have the seed you plant and with caring and care you let it grow. Then you have somewhat a sapling. The tree grows with the care and soon you have a tree with many branches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality

Negative:

Tommy’s personality is very brash and out of control = He’s barely containable in fights, going off to do his own risky plans and starting two or so fights. He can’t forgive a person very easily like Eret, who took it a long time to get forgiveness and Techno, as he shot Tubbo at the Festival. He makes decision that also cost his life like the duel because he hates losing

Tommy can be very lazy, giving the thought he wouldn’t have to do the hard work = Shown when he tries to steal the hearts of seas from Eret or potions from Techno, bargain with “drugs” by Puffy and Ponk or gives other people the work he doesn’t want to do like he did with getting cobblestone

Like a child, he often clings to close people and annoys others for attention = His desperate attempts to have company or someone praising him shows, when he tries to get Philza’s approval (or a pat on the back), constantly looking out, if Tubbo’s either okay or where his is,

He doesn’t like to wait or doing things in the long run = He constantly asks when something is finished, when they could go or in his exile, when he was allowed to go back to L’Manburg

He doesn’t show often his cooled down, scared and vulnerable side = He often overshadows his trauma with a facade of jokes and bad hidden hurt he brings out. When he talks about something bad, he’s clearly confused, not really knowing on how to understand it. Also he runs away from things he can’t control a panic attack like visiting the final control room or looking away from the holes in Logstedshire

He runs without head into a battle so often as possible = Only when they had their final showdown for the disc, Tommy was seen preparing in story, thinking it would be his last fight

---

Positive:

But as he has negative traits, his positive shows to many people clearly.

His unwavering loyalty to the closest of people = His loyalty to Tubbo, Wilbur And L’Manburg are, were and always will be a part of him. He stands against anyone who goes against that, even if it means pain in many ways.

Passionate about dear projects of his = You can see Tommy talking about his discs or see an video where he would spent days getting different discs. Those things are very known to be rare things, so for Tommy to possess it gives him somewhat power. L’Manburg was the same passion, even a bit more, as you can see he was ready to give up his most prized disk. The last and in the moment is his hotel

Bravery like no one makes him as one of the dangerous person on peoples hitlist = He stands up for others. He stood up to L’Manburg. He in the end didn’t care that he lost a life. When he sees a foe, he won’t stand down and submit, he will fight against the oppression and tell them that in the face. During the mission to get a visa, he stood against Schlatt, even if they were clearly in the loose of people and disadvantage. Or getting an apology of Sapnap for killing Niki’s fox. Fighting against 5 people with just one ally while the other is a hostage.

His leadership = There are not many people who can take it up, but Tommy is an exception. He can coordinate people with his loud voice and somewhat thought plans. He is charismatic, even if he’s not so good at it like Wilbur, he still can motivate people to fight for themselves or others. He’s seen to lead others into battle and taking in the fighting part a leading role

Unselfish. That’s one of the most arguable things about Tommy`s character = You can´t look at a kid and say he is selfish because he wants to get something dearly back. Especially Tommy, after he gave the things up, he cared about. But if something is happening again, he will lay it down to do the other thing. As seen by the egg, he had a hard time thinking what to do. He, in a long time, didn’t want to be catalyst for something to happen. Not when he in the moment could have stopped it. So doing this act for himself ones, was a good decisions, since they clearly weren’t ready for war

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part of the Story

Outside of the story:

Let’s all just get something “straight”. What would Dream SMP without Tommyinnit. Now. Don’t get me wrong. All the creators on the SMP are amazing. They are all wonderful and deserve every bit of Attention and fame they get. But just imagine.

We heard from Tubbo, he was the one, who got him into the SMP. Schlatt and Wilbur came because of a “visit”. Quackity was added because TOMMY said he was bored. And from that, we got somewhat of a tree system. As Tommy was invited and drawn into conflict by Sapnap (shoutout to best boy!), he got more people.

He also has the highest viewership and kind of shortest streams, since he is doing college next to Youtube and Streaming. He can’t give up his high viewers since all of those 200.000 (average) – closing 650.000 People (doing something like a big lore stream in prison or the disc final), choose to watch him.

Also a reminder again, Tommy has his storyline as does everyone else. When we saw Tommy and Techno during the partner up arc doing something with the dogs, they saw the start of the red vines arc BUT said they were on the wrong storyline. Tommy was asked by the eggpire writers if he wanted to be a part of the story and he said yes. Why do you think he nearly says nothing about the egg. He leaves it to the writers. Also, it was said by one of Wilbur’s Character descriptions, that Tommy was okay with others doing something with his character, while Techno was more reluctant with his.

Let me say it again, every creator is awesome and individual! Nobody should be compared to others. But with Tommy coming to the Dream SMP, there really was a change in the game.

Remember, that’s because we also have a BT (before Tommy) and AT (after Tommy) Timestamp in the wiki!

Inside of the story:

Now, with Sapnap, Alyssa, Ponk and Tommy in the first ever big conflict its shown the importance. People assume Tommy is one of the conflict bringers, even though he was dragged in it by having something stolen by Sapnap and then forced to fight with him, to get it back.

The Consequences he’s got where having his discs get stolen. This is what Tommy’s biggest character motivation was the first two seasons. Those discs are known on the server and when you think about gifting something to C!Tommy, it would be a disc.

Techno = Disc Wait

Badboyhalo = Disc Pigstep, Chirp

HBomb = Disc Pigstep, Wait

Tubbo = Stal

LazarBeam = Far

Tommy is a openminded boy who longs for funny little adventures and pranks, since he is just a young person. It’s in his nature.

So why, when he does something, are people looking on him?

Because the things he was and is a part of some of the biggest events. And him being so loud and brave and rash lets him stand out. If you look at the old (hah) Revolution of L’Manburg, who can you hear talking the most and the loudest? Tommy and Dream. They were the most outgoing about the war with Sapnap, Tubbo and Wilbur following. Fundy was more quieter (thankfully he has so much more lore now).

Tommy’s character is known to fall or be dragged head first in almost every conflict. He has connections to who? Mostly everybody. So of course he’s connected big parts to the stories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Powers

Okay. Every “main” character or character with huge importance to the story has some kind of power. Looking at Dream, who is a “demigod” or Ranboo who I don’t even have to talk about. So what about Tommy?

Well. He doesn’t have any. Tommyinnit is one of the people, we get to have as an “human” character

Hannah = nature “Spirit”

Karl Jacobs = Timetraveller

Antfrost, Technoblade, Ranboo, Fundy = Hybrids

Dream = Something something green blob

Awesamdude, Puffy, Philza, Sapnap, Eret, Schlatt = Adding Features (wings, eyes, body parts)

Badboyhalo, Skeppy = completely different species apparently

Tommy has, as we know of the moment, a not confirmed power. The assumptions of the egg are not clear, since we haven’t seen those interact in a while. All we know is, Tommy didn’t get hurt, destroying a part and not feeling anything, while being in contact. That in canon considered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flaws

As talked before in personality and also in an assumption, we see the pattern of loyalty and brashness repeating.

Flaws are the most important parts of a character. It shows the struggle of their adventure and learning how to live with it.

Percy Jackson learned loyalty is nothing, if you don’t have someone to project it on.

Harry Potter and Luke Skywalker learned being a hot head didn’t really bring him forward and it’s important to have a plan

Frodo Beutlin learned that it is okay taking care of yourself and what attachment means

Anakin Skywalker learned fear is controllable and it shouldn’t be a remaining part of your life

Tommy learned over the time that his rashness could hurt others, loyalty couldn’t come back to him like he gave it out and he learns even more in the coming future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relationships

Tommy’s relationships is a mess of strings. Some are badly knotted and some are very clear.

A characters connections is an important part for the character himself.

Relationships in life are

·      Enemies(-figure)

·      Rivals(-figure)

·      Friends(-figure)

·      Family(-figure)

·      Lover(-figure)

·      Complicated family(-figure)

·      Complicated friend (-figure)

Relationships are a part of everyone’s life. Not with everybody is a good relationship holdable. Either it’s because their hurting each other or another person. People change and that’s a part of life.

Tommy realized, even tho it hurt, that Techno wasn’t good for his mental state and health. It went against everything Tommy ever stood for.

And Tommy and Tubbo’s relationship wasn’t really that broken. It’s normal for friends to fight. Normal for them hit their heads in. Tommy and Tubbo were surrounded with people who were, at the time, a terrible addition to their mental life.

The Dream SMP doesn’t talk it out, hell the talking club was just destroyed because they preferred fists over words. So why do you think everything is going out with a fight, if it’s all they learned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Priced Possessions

Every character has to something a connection.

Might it be Percy Jackson and his sword

Might it be Harry with his glasses, broomstick and wand

Frodo and his stupid ring

For Tommy we all know it’s his ender chest inside and secret chest. He keeps many belongings in his chests and always has been one for those things. He kept flowers, compasses, Friendship signs and most importantly, his discs.

The care for something of items are important. Might it be a teddy, old photo or jewelry. People get protective over it, because it holds sentimental value to the person.

If you ask me, to let go of my teddy bear, I will show you my middle finger. Probably beat you up too.

You can’t just throw out your memories into a fire or pit of lava. This is just showing you never had a care and everything you had a memory with it before would have been gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

History/Backstory

We don’t have much here, but still something to work with.

A Hero doesn’t have an easy live. And it’s an said thing that every Hero needs an origin Story.

Tommy, said not really anything about his past.

All we know is that Tommy didn’t have anyone, presumably an Orphan, he knew the sleepy bois already a long time ago and he never learned on how to ride a bike, saying he never really had a family.

Signs that he didn’t even leave half a good life are:

·      his knowledge on stealing and preferring this over working for it

·      Liking to live in weird spaces like carved out holes in sides of hills (his hobbit hole or the basement by Techno) or living in his tent over a hole house

·      His liking of cobblestone and dirt, which are easy gettable blocks

·      Holding his goodies and friends close to him

·      Craving for attention or contact in general

And now for the part with the dream SMP.

We saw how it changed him. We saw his trauma and all the bad things that happened to him.

And that’s why we say his actions came from those past experiences and things. We are NOT excusing them, but showing. Past trauma CHANGES a person. It brings experience and a heavy amount of pain and anger. ESPECIALLY at a young age, you will change due to your experience in life. You will grow worried and anxious. Tommy did that. He grew more anxious, angry, scared and also experienced.

Stop saying trauma doesn’t explain it. Yes. It does. His lashing out came from his past and negative experience. Imagine growing up in a world where this is the norm. War and banishing. As well as death. Tommy has reasons why he is acting and does stuff.

Understand it. You don’t have to forgive him or anything. But understand it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moral and the story the character tells us

When we see Tommy, we see a boy who went nearly through it all. Mental/Physical Abuse, Abandonment, War, Suicidal thoughts, betrayal, Death, etc…

He doesn’t show forgiveness for his abuser. Still has signs, that he fights with the past abuse, but he tells us a story of learning from past mistakes, that even in the darkest hours, there’s a way out. Things will, can and be ugly and those are dark hours, but in no way should you think that it’s over. Life is more than one way and can always turn into a new direction.

Life takes something old away from you. Life gives you something new. You lose someone, you find someone new. Friends can turn into enemies. Enemies can turn into friends. You can meet the weirdest people. You can meet the most amazing people. You can be alone and in the next second, you’re not. You will often lose, but you also can win if you give everything.

Life can be weird and that’s okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Fazit (that’s german)

The thing is, he is very real for many viewers such as myself. He acts like how many teenagers his age reacts.

He doesn’t be “baby”, because he shows the “ugly” sides of trauma. He shows that attachments are good and you shouldn’t forgive your abuser. In no way. He shows that acting out and lashing out are two things that happen, when you have been in wars for many times and nearly just know that.

He has many flaws and mistakes but those make him even more real. He is showing how he is growing.

As a person, friend, (pseudo-)family.

He is real to many of the viewer since he doesn’t have any powers that are existing in our world to solve their problems. He knows that nobody would have helped him and Tubbo against Dream if he didn’t pay others.

Also that you can’t be friends with everyone and that it’s okay that not everybody likes you.

Tommy´s character is the most human and realistic character in a way of how we would react. We are humans who are lashing out and who are having ugly sides.

And also please stop saying that, since I really can relate to Tommy and I don’t want to be feeling like a “bad-written Character”…

And Don’t even get me started on Tommy’s acting dude!

He is one of the best actors and that one livestreams! In from off 200.000 – 600.000 People!

On the face cam alone is so much to see…  

·      You can see his face with each emotion shifting,

·      when something funnily weird happens, he looks dead eyes in the camera

The voice acting…

·      His breathing,

·      the stuttering in his voice,

·      THE GODDAMN EMOTIONS IN HIS FACE

HIS MUSIC CHOICE!

·      He changes the music fitting for the situations as in fighting scenes or funny moments.

·      He also has some funny bits with his music.

·      Like a goddam DJ!

The ingame character

·      His movements and head stares

·      The jumping around when he gets overactive

·      Long stops when he thinks or is sad!

You can see, I am a person from Tumblr and saw way too much bullshit around tommys character.

Stop critiquing him so badly.

You could say, I woke up and chose violence

>:D

[screamingatanemptyroom]

One Shot Werewolf Story

So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.

Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)

Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)

Here it is:

________________________

“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”

Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”

“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.

“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.

“Research.”

“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”

“…You don’t understand.”

She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.

“That’s what I said.”

Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.

“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”

I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!

“No.”

“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.

Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”

“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”

Should have just eaten her.

“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”

How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!

“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!

“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”

The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.

“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”

Steak?

“…We’ll see.”

As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.

Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.

He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.

“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”

Why do you think he’s here?

“I don’t know.”

As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.

HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!

An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”

Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!

“No!”

“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.

Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.

“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.

Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”

“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”

YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.

Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”

________________________

It had been a terrible day.

Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.

“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.

Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”

“…”

“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”

“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”

“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.

“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “

“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”

Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.

“He doesn’t have a plan.”

“Did you really expect him to?”

“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.

“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”

Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.

Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!

I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.

So… Can we go find our mate now?

You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.

Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.

Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.

She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!

Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.

Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.

Hey! You haven’t dated either.

I have instincts, at least.

“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.

He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.

“It will mean giving up territory.”

“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”

The pack has to be protected first.

Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.

“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”

Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.

“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.

“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”

“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.

He headed into town.

As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.

She’s here!

Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?

No, you idiot! Our mate!

Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.

In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.

He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?

His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.

She was beautiful.

Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.

Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.

Does she feel it too?

QUICK, FEED HER!

With what?!!! I don’t have any food!

Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!

Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.

Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”

She turned and rushed out of the store.

…

…

…You were saying?

…Maybe you were right about the steaks.

He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.

I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.

She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!

They don’t know that. She might not even know that!

To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”

“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.

Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?

She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.

“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”

This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?

She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?

Does she not feel the bond?

“Well, crap.”

As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.

Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.

________________________

Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.

It wasn’t working.

Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.

He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.

“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “

Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.

“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”

THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.

“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”

What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.

“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”

“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?���

“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.

“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”

“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”

“…Yes. So are you?”

“You said I was your mate.”

He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”

“You’re an alpha?”

“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”

“So now you know why you’re tied up.”

“…pardon?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”

He still seemed confused. “Research?”

She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.

The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”

“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”

“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”

“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”

A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”

“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”

“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”

She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “

“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”

“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”

If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?

“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”

Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”

“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”

This is unfair!

“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”

What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?

“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”

“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.

“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”

“But…”

“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”

“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”

“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”

Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?

“No eating. No mating.”

“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”

“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”

“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.

“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.

“…pardon?”

The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.

Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”

________________________

Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.

“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”

She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”

“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”

She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”

TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!

“Umm… he’s strong…”

TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!

No!

How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!

No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!

ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!

“Are you okay?”

“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.

“…” There was a long silence.

“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”

She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!

“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”

“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”

Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “

“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”

SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!

Shush!

“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”

Alyssa! Her name is pretty!

“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.

Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?

She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!

She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.

What if she doesn’t want us?

… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.

Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.

No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!

That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.

We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!

I’ll try.

Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”

“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”

“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”

“By remembering milk?”

“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”

“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”

I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!

Agree.

Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.

“Are all these clothes?”

“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”

He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?

“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”

“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”

She shook her head. “No need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. “

“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.

He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.

Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!

Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!

Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.

You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!

Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!

You’re not helping…

“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.

“…”

…

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”

“How do werewolves mate?”

… I think I preferred the awkward silence.

No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!

“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.

“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”

I’m game.

SHUT UP.

“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”

“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”

HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!

We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?

I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.

THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!

“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“… I see.”

“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”

“Normal 9 months.”

“Number of children per pregnancy?”

“One… unless you have twins.”

She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”

SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!

“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.

“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”

Great. I really had to bring HIM up.

“I do… but he left the pack.”

“Does that happen often?”

“No.”

“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”

“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.

“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”

“…”

…

Do you know?

Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?

Nope.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”

“Bridget? Your sister?”

“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”

“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”

Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”

“Do you two get along?”

“She follows orders, so I guess?”

“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”

“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

________________________

Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.

I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.

“Different how?”

It smells like our mate! I like it!

“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”

Isn’t that normal?

“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”

“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”

She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”

“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”

“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”

“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “

Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.

How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.

“Hey!”

We’ll be just fine.

“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.

A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.

I like his voice. His touch his very warm!

“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”

“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”

The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.

I trust him.

“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.

He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.

“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”

No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.

“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”

We’ll see.

Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”

She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”

“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.

Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.

I like it here. We should live here.

“We’ll see.”

Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “

Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.

“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”

“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.

Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.

We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!

“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”

“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”

The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”

She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.

“…Who are you talking to?”

“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”

The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”

“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”

“… Are those… romance novels….?”

“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “

“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”

Alyssa started taking notes.

“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”

“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”

“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.

“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “

“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.

“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.

“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”

“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.

“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”

Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”

“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”

“Awesome!”

As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”

He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”

“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”

“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.

“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”

“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”

As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”

Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”

He’s a good leader.

“Maybe…”

Let’s mate him!

Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.

They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:

They were all tall.

We’re… tall… too.

“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.

“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”

The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.

Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.

“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”

“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”

Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”

Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!

“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”

But…

Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”

Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.

Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!

“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”

HEY! You were sad too!

“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”

“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”

Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”

Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”

Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.

“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.

“Welcome!”

“We’re glad you’re here!”

“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”

The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”

They seem nice.

Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.

It’s a good thing, right?

Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”

________________________

Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.

Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.

He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.

Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.

We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.

I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.

I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.

They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.

“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”

Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”

“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.

“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”

“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”

“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”

Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!

Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”

“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.

His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.

Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?

She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?

No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?

We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.

As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.

“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”

“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”

“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”

“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”

Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.

“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”

My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”

“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”

“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”

“…”

“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”

“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”

“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”

“So what happened next?”

“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”

“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”

“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”

“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.

“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”

“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”

Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”

Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.

She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!

It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!

Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.

“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”

She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”

Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”

WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!

Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…

OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!

…Stupid wolf.

Silly human.

... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.

I just want her to like us… any ideas?

I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .

… Never mind… I’ll think of something.

________________________

A few weeks passed.

Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.

“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”

Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.

Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.

“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”

“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”

“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.

“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”

“But LARA…”

“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”

Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”

“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.

“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.

But she could feel it.

Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.

But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.

Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.

Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.

His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.

The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.

It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.

That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.

“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.

“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”

“… What would you do if something did?”

“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.

“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.

“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”

SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.

TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!

“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”

Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”

I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!

“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”

“…”

We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.

“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.

I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.

His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.

“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”

“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “

Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”

Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!

See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!

Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.

After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.

She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.

“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.

They walked together in silence.

As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”

Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”

“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”

“…”

“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”

“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.

I told you he knows us.

“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”

Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”

“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”

“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”

We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.

He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”

Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.

“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”

She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

You’ll have to tell him eventually.

“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.

She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.

________________________

Lewis was going a little crazy.

It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.

They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.

Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.

He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.

“Should we get something to eat?”

Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.

STEAK!

STEAK PLEASE!

Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.

“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.

YES!

Our mate is the best!

Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.

“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.

Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”

“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”

His heart stopped.

Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.

“What has he done?”

Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”

Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.

“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”

“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”

“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”

His silent voice projected across the entire territory.

“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."

He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.

“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “

“I… “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!

He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.

But he couldn’t.

We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.

He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.

“Stay safe.”

With that, he continued towards the south sector.

Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.

They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.

I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.

He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.

Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.

There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.

They were breathing.

He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.

Only two.

Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.

It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.

And Nightfang knew that.

Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.

I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.

… Me too.

Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.

He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.

One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.

He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.

“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”

The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.

“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”

Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.

Kill him.

He surrendered.

The pack must be protected.

Let me knock him out.

“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.

Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.

One left.

Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.

We did it.

He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.

“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.

Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.

You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.

I’m weak.

We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.

Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.

It’s time to end this.

He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.

Mate. He picked up the pace.

________________________

Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.

Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.

“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.

“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”

As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.

This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?

Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.

She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.

“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.

“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”

“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”

“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”

“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”

That means….

She took off for the main house.

Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?

To where the real fight is.

She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.

No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.

He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.

I don’t like him.

Me either… he’s scary.

We should be careful.

She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.

Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”

His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”

“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”

Alyssa advanced closer.

“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”

“Oh really?”

“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “

“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”

“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.

“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”

“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”

“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.

“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”

“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.

“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.

This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.

I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.

They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.

I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.

“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.

“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”

SLAM!

A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.

The two alpha wolves circled each other.

“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”

“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”

He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”

“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.

“That’ll put you in danger!”

“Trust me!”

Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.

“Here you go! Be careful!”

“Thanks!”

“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”

BZZZT

His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,

“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”

“…”

“…”

There was a brief stunned silence.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.

“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.

BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.

“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.

“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.

“What is that?”

“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.

“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you alright?”

They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”

She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.

Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”

“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”

“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.

THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.

“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”

Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!

“See…”

So we should just get straight to the mating!

AGREE!

Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.

“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.

“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”

“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”

Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.

“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”

“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”

“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”

“…thanks.”

She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”

After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.

He’s our mate. He’ll understand.

“I know. And that’s what scares me.”

Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

“We need to talk.”

________________________

Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.

What if she doesn’t want to stay?

She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!

“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”

Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”

“Right.”

“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”

Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”

“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”

“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”

“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”

“What…?

“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”

Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”

“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”

“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”

“…”

“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”

Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.

“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”

He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.

We already think you’re both attractive!

Great! Let’s mate then!

Agree!

“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”

“Really?”

“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”

“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”

“We were just attacked… remember?”

He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”

She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.

“I’d like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.

“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”

“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.

“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”

Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”

[mrs-bartowski]

My dudes. My guys. My pals.

I’m about 10 seconds away from going feral.

So, I’m the kind of unfortunate chump whose brain requires continuity. Meaning, when I started thirst watching Supergirl during its mid-season-2 hiatus and came across the realization that it had crossovers with all the other arrowverse shows, my brain tasked me with watching them all. I won’t put you through a recount of this arduous feat, but it does leave me with the certain advantage of having immediate and full-contextual access to any parallels between supercorp and canon CW DCEU couples.

Normally, this is a good thing, because it’s just another crumb to obsess over. But I just finished watching Legends 6x02 and...I. AM. FUMING.

I literally don’t even know where to start, but know that if you’ve made it this far you’re in for a long ride because my entire being is in Scream mode right now and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop typing until it passes.

OKAY. So.

Meet Sara Lance (lol jk y’all thirsty gays know who she is I mean look at this flawless human)

Next, meet her ******* Ava Sharpe (who is literally the definition of white European beauty standards-based perfection because she’s a clone from the future)

And finally, meet Gary Green. He’s...well, he’s Gary.

Sara started out on Arrow and is now the captain of the Legends. Ava was the director of the Time Bureau and Gary was an agent, and now they are also members of the Legends. Sara has been there (and been the show’s effective lead) since season 1. Ava and Gary both came in at the beginning of season 3. 

Gary is (as pictured) an absolute fool, but he is also kind of regarded as the one the Legends Must Protecc. The whole team is considered a family, and, while they are not necessarily labeled as best friends, Gary has been Ava’s longest and most loyal companion, and Sara has a way of adopting him because she’s the best equipped to keep him out of trouble.

So, why is all of this relevant to why I want to go feral? Because it sounds a bit familiar, yes? Member of the team that is somewhat a black sheep, doesn’t get included fully or all the time but often comes in with save-the day type shit (even though with Gary it’s more of a distraction than a save because he’s a mess of a man). Close friend to one of our two main heroes and, subsequently, that hero’s closest companion puts them at the top of their Protecc list. Has little faith in his relationships with the team so he is constantly going out of his way to help in whatever way he can to prove his usefulness. And so on and so forth.

Well, 6x01 marks exactly 3 years since Gary’s first appearance, and what did we find out in that episode? That Gary is an alien. And not just any alien - an alien who was sent (by the woman he was traded to) to get close to Sara because she has been labeled as one of the world’s most dangerous creatures. Not to mention, his species of alien feeds on humans (not him of course, he’s reformed, but nonetheless not a friendly species). And we find out all of this because he and his master abduct her.

Sara finds out in person while Ava and the rest of the Legends solve the mystery on their own. Now, I’ve drawn a lot of comparisons between Lena and Gary to make a point about the time frame and nature of their relationships, but let’s take a look at Sara, shall we? For starters, she’s been “dead” either literally or supposedly about...what, 15 times now? If you think that’s an exaggeration, here’s the link to her fan wiki which says she’s been presumed dead 10 times and actually dead 5. The sg writers tried to sell season 5 as “the fight for Lena’s soul” but Sara LITERALLY LOST HER SOUL when she got resurrected in the Lazarus pit. 90% of Sara’s character development has been based on her certainty that she is too close to death and evil and destruction (getting possessed by a demon, perhaps, had something to do with this?). She was an actual literal assassin and she has left civilization out of anger and pain to go back to that life once before.

She has always believed that she is too dangerous to have real love or relationships or friends. And now she has found and built and led this family through time and space and she’s done so with this goofball by her side that is endearingly attached to the love of her life. So, how does she react when she finds out Gary is an alien? Well, clearly, she goes down a dark path, right? She cries and screams and talks about betrayal because she’s had such a hard time with feeling like she only ever puts the people she loves in danger and now here she is finding out there’s been a human-eating alien in her family for three years that was tasked with observing her and keeping her in check because she is exactly that dangerous?

Yeah...try again. This is how Sara reacts:

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And then there's another scene that apparently no one even bothered to put on YouTube where you can see the pain in Sara's eyes when she asks him “why me?” You can see how hurt she is that after 3 years she’s just finding out that their friendships is based on lies and that she has trouble keeping her faith in it. But in both of these instances where are the “crocodile tears?” Where are the fearful, shaky confessions from Gary about his fear of losing the only people who have ever really loved or cared about him and desperate justifications about how he just wanted to protect them and keep them in the dark so his master didn’t come after them? Where is the outrage from Sara about how everything Gary has reassured her about over the past three years when she was scared to let the damaged-soul assassin inside of her out was a lie and he doesn’t get to tell her who or what she is again? Where is the determination from Ava to make Gary pay for not only lying for three years but for ABDUCTING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE TO HAND OVER TO A FLESH-EATING ALIEN??????

Nowhere. Those things...they’re nowhere. There’s anger. There’s pain. There’s doubt and heartbreak and fury. There’s betrayal and helplessness and desperation. But there is no scene with Sara standing on a balcony and Gary looking up at her longingly because he wants to talk to her about the secret and he knows it will change everything between them. There is no scene with Sara and Ava lamenting over what this means for Gary and the team and the world because he’s no longer the person they knew. There are no romantically-scored scenes of them looking teary-eyed at the pictures they took together or reassurances that the others’ intentions are good and trustworthy now that the truth is out in the open. There is nothing to imply that the last several years of friendship are now entirely suspect (damaged, frayed, clouded, maybe, but definitely not voided) because Gary kept this secret to protect them. And Gary isn’t made to feel obscenely guilty or shameful because his intentions were good and he only did what he felt he had to. But most of all, the world doesn’t feel like it’s going to end.

And I’m not talking about we’re now scared Gary will take his master’s side or Sara will suddenly decide that she never wants an alien to fool her or hurt her again so she’s going to make sure he doesn’t have the choice. I’m just talking about the way they address each other. There are no sobbing tears or laments over the biggest mistakes of their lives - even though it’s quite possible Gary could see this as his. There are no screaming matches over betrayal and mistrust and years of doubt and confusion. There will be no episode dedicated to going back and seeing what could have happened - what kind of danger they could have avoided from the alien(s) controlling Gary - had he told them the truth sooner because that’s the only way to save him and the world. There will be no episode where he has to single-handedly save them multiple times as some example of redemption. There will be no adamant looks and declarations about how the team knows his intentions were good and they forgive him. There won’t be any of that. Because Sara is not in love with Gary. And Ava is not in love with Gary. And Gary is not in love with either Sara or Ava. They’re just close friends. Family. Loved ones who mean a lot to each other but whose betrayal and seeds of doubt don’t bring on emotions whose force and ferocity could be acceptable for finding out the apocalypse is nigh.

I have many, many more feelings about this but right now I’m going to go write things that will make me feel better and not things that make me want to gather every writer from every CW show in a line and run down the line smacking them all in the face while the Legends writers watch and cheer. But I’m fuming. THIS is what it looks like when a years-long, heavily weighted lie is revealed between close friends/family. So, in conclusion, Supercorp endgame or die.

[reidscookies]

All The Things I Could Not Say

More writing is done, because I procrastinate best when doing things that have no deadline. Read it on AO3, or under the cut! Angst with a happy ending!

Summary: When Spencer heard a knock at the door, he thought Derek might have forgotten his keys again.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

-

Or, William Reid hears about Spencer's engagement, and wants to know where his invitation is.

TW: Implied Domestic Violence, Implied Child Neglect.

Read it on AO3

When Spencer heard a knock at the door, he thought Derek might have forgotten his keys again. It had been known to happen, and Spencer was already forming some sort of way to tease his fiancé. Opening the door, he started with a small chuckle. “You’re no better than Emily-“

On the doorstep was not his fiancé, but William Reid. His hair was thinner, and he looked tired. His long trench coat practically consumed him, his chest puffed trying to seem bigger than he really was. “Spencer.”

“Dad? What are you doing here?” Spencer asked, mouth going dry.

William motioned his arm towards the foyer. “May I come in?”

Too shocked to say anything else, Spencer stepped aside. “I… Sure, I guess…”

They sat in the living room, Spencer taking his reading chair and curling into it for comfort. His father sat on the sofa, hands nervously wringing. “So, I read the news that you go engaged. It was in the alumni section for your school's old newspaper.”

Spencer groaned internally, recalling Penelope’s efforts to share the news with the entire world. “Yeah, I am. We’re getting married in October.”

William nodded, slightly awkward. “That’s nice, very nice. Um, where, though? And when?”

Spencer raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see how that concerns you, seeing as you haven’t been invited. And I don’t plan for you to be.”

William narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be nasty, Spencer.”

“Screw you, William! Screw you!”

“Don’t be nasty, Diana.”

“Don’t talk to me like a child!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

A crash came from the kitchen. A slap followed directly after. In the morning, Spencer would find his father’s favorite mug shattered on the counter, and the shape of his father’s hand marked red across his mother’s cheek.

Spencer’s expression became hard and cold. “Never say that to me again. Don’t ever speak to me like that. Being honest is not being nasty. While you were busy running away from us, I was a child learning to survive with no father, a mother who grew to need more assistance than her ten-year-old son could provide.”

William crossed his arms. “You know why I left! I’ve explained this to you before.”

“Yes, because you couldn’t bear the idea of Mom getting in trouble about Gary Michaels. See, I’ve thought about this, and I think there’s more to it than that. If you’d been discovered, Lou Jenkins would have gone to jail. Mom would likely have been institutionalized. Both of these have happened anyway, only it’s been 20 years. The only difference now is that Mom has not been charged as an accessory to murder.”

“Spencer, where are you going with this?” William asked, voice shaking slightly.

Spencer paced with ease around the room. “You didn’t really care what would happen to her if she had been discovered back then. Hell, you weren’t even concerned as to how Mom being institutionalized could affect me as a child. No, you only cared about your reputation.” He looked back at his father. “Congratulations, your good name remains intact, not to mention a now relatively successful son who you brag about to your coworkers but never seem to have had the time to return calls to when he was living at home.”

William was red in the face at this point. “You don’t understand. Spencer, I couldn’t stay, I had to get out of there. I kept tabs on you to make sure you were safe, don’t you realize I care about you?”

A cold, barking laugh tore itself from Spencer’s throat. “Care? When have you ever shown me that you cared, genuinely? Was it when you’d tell me to shut up when I was trying to share something I learned about things you liked? Was it when you forced me into little league even though I told you the helmet made my ears hurt? Was it when you sent Mom by herself to pick me up from first grade when you knew that type of social scenario would be too difficult for her? Was it when you left the invitation to my Doctoral Thesis presentation in the mailbox long enough for it to come back to me with “Return to Sender” stamped all over it?” He felt his eyes burn slightly. “Was it when you weren’t there when I had Mom taken to Bennington? God, Dad, I was eighteen! Don’t you understand how scared I was?! How scared I had been for eight years trying to keep both myself and Mom above water?!”

“God, you sound just like your mother, poison tongue and all!” William shouted before thinking. “Spencer-“

Spencer interrupted him. “The thing is, I used to want you to care. I used to hope and dream that you’d come home and help me. But I grew up, despite the bullying and the bills and Mom’s decline, I pulled both of us out to safety. And I have a family now! I have a wonderful family of friends who care, who put up with me despite my facts and lectures, who truly care about what I have to say. I’m engaged, I have a wonderful fiancé who doesn’t ask me to change anything about who I am or how I am. He brings out the best in me when I’m at my worst, he stays despite my “poison tongue” and when I get overly invested in my work. When I write to Mom, he signs the letters too, and a lot of times he’ll even add a few pages of his own. He knows every part of me, he is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. So no, Dad, I didn’t send you an invitation. Partially because I honestly didn’t think you’d come, but mostly because I don’t need you there. I have who I need, and it’s not you.”

William was stunned into silence. Clearing his throat, he straightened his coat. “Well, then. If that’s how it is.”

“That’s how it is.” Spencer nodded. He looked towards the door where Derek stood quietly with the grocery bags.

Derek had a look of concern on his face, but he kept it relatively masked in front of William. “Everything okay?”

Spencer nodded. “He was just leaving.” He lead William to the door, thinking to himself that his father wasn’t unlike a dog with its tail between its legs. When the front door closed, it was like a note of finality. Something was done, and honestly, it felt good.

Spencer grabbed one of the grocery bags and headed for the kitchen, starting to put items away. “How much did you hear, Derek?”

Derek joined him, putting the milk and juice in the refrigerator. “I only got back a few minutes ago, but probably about the part when you were talking about who your family is now.”

Spencer hummed, folding the reusable bags and placing them in the corner. “He heard about the wedding from the local newspaper announcement Garcia insisted on. He wanted to know why he hadn’t received his invitation.”

“Well, you made it abundantly clear that he isn’t going to be getting one.” Derek said, moving closer. “Need a hug?”

Spencer smiled and let Derek hold him close. “Honestly, love, I really am okay. I was able to say a lot of things I never thought I’d get a chance to. Him leaving is always going to hurt in a lot of ways, but he’s made his choice. I think it’s okay that I get to make mine, too, and that includes who I have in my family.”

Derek gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. “I absolutely think it’s okay for you to make those choices. You’ve got us, baby, no matter what.” He looked at his watch. “You still up for meeting everyone for dinner? Or do you need it to be just us tonight?”

Spencer thought for a moment. “Would you mind if we invited everyone here for pizza instead? I don’t want to go out, but I want my family with me.”

“You’ve got it, pretty boy. I’ll let them know.” Derek gently pulled away and grabbed his phone to reach out to the team. Spencer smiled to himself, letting all traces of his father’s unwelcome visit start to ease off his mind. He had what he needed, and there was no way he would ever change it for anything.

[the-pontiac-bandit]

If you're still answering tortall prompts, how about Raoul + family?

wow why NOT write 2000 words of blatant, shameless fluff about families you make for yourself??? inspired by this quote from tammy: “[Raoul and Buri] have glorious sex under trees, in tents, in lakes…. In carriages. I think at some point they’ll probably adopt. By the time they’re attached Buri’s getting a little old to have any of her own. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of orphans around.”

As Raoul stretched out, trying to make himself comfortable in his too-hard, too-small desk chair, he savored the warm feeling filling his chest and threatening to spill out and take physical form in front of him. In the midst of the most head-spinning, headache-inducing, sleep-sapping, joy-filled week he’d ever experienced, he’d had precious little time to slow down and simply exist within his new reality. He thought to close his eyes, the better to feel everything, but they only stayed shut for a moment before they forced themselves back open. He couldn’t stop looking at the scene in front of him for long.

Buri lounged cross-legged on their bed, far more relaxed than he had been at any point this week. Kel sat next to her, her back straight and her long legs carefully hanging off one side so as not to get dust from the practice courts on their bedding. Both had just returned from a full morning of training, sweaty despite a change of clothes and coated in dust despite a thorough washing, courtesy of a long, hot summer that had refused to give them rain.

Between them was the baby.

His son, he reminded himself. He thought the words a few extra times, even mouthing them once, as he had a thousand times in the last five days, as if forming them on his lips might make them feel more real.

None of this felt real to him yet. He supposed most people had nine months to get used to the idea before seven pounds of screaming chaos turned their lives upside down. He’d had exactly fifty-three days—he’d counted on Tuesday—so he supposed he still had some catching up to do. His mind was still reeling from the conversation that had led them here, and he wasn’t sure yet that he’d ever catch up.

He’d been sitting in this chair and pretending to read reports while mostly thinking about his right knee, which had been bothering him despite Duke Baird’s best efforts. He wasn’t sure why he remembered so specifically, since his days were nearly as certain to contain aches and bruises as they were to contain a sunrise. Buri had returned from a meeting with Thayet and Onua, although really, the word meeting conferred far too much dignity on what was more likely a combination of trick riding and palace gossip. They’d settled into the evening routine they’d shared for nearly a decade, working in comfortable silence with candles lit between them.

“Do you want children?” she’d asked, breaking the quiet spell of paperwork that gripped their nights.

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he’d replied with a snort.

She’d thrown a pillow at him. He had caught it and thrown it back without even looking up from the thick stack of papers in his lap, with a rude hand gesture following behind.

“You know what I meant. Did you want children? Before?”

Something in her voice had shifted. He’d finally looked up to find her eyes already trained on him. Her face had been so unexpectedly earnest that he’d actually taken a pause, had slowed the speed of their consistently paced banter, to think.

“I suppose I hadn’t given it much thought. There were friends, and then there was drinking, and then there was the Own, and then there was you,” he’d told her with a shrug. “I do like children, but I’m perfectly happy where I am.”

She’d chewed on her lip for a moment. He remembered being surprised by that. After nearly thirty years of friendship, she rarely took the time to think before she spoke with him anymore.

“Spit it out.”

“Do you want children?”

“And we’re back to the start,” he’d said with a grin.

“I spat it out. Now you answer it.”

“Hypothetically, sure, I’d enjoy a child. Now can I ask why you’re asking at all?”

“I’ve been thinking,” she’d started. She’d paused for a moment, holding her breath as though she was trying to decide whether she should speak at all. And then she’d let it all spill out at once. “I’ve been thinking it might be nice to have one. A child, I mean.”

She’d held up a hand and made a face before Raoul could even begin to formulate a joke about her monthlies or her aching hips or what they might do to make that happen. “Not like that. Thayet was telling us today about homes they’re opening in Corus, for children without parents. We were thinking about the children we traveled with back in Sarain, when Alanna found us all those years ago. Gods, it was terrifying, having Thayet and an infant to protect, especially when Thayet was ready to throw her life away for the infant. And I started thinking—we have money, and safety, and love, and there are all these children who have none of those things, and—”

She’d been speaking faster and faster, but she’d cut herself off abruptly at the look on Raoul’s face. “Never mind, you can forget—”

Raoul had smiled back at her, straightening up in his chair and marking his spot in the report on his lap before putting it aside. “So you want a child.”

The weeks that followed had been ones filled with paperwork and inquiries at the palace records about the process of appointing a common-born heir to a noble house and at the magistrate’s about drawing up paperwork for adoption. There had been careful planning and hushed discussions with only their closest friends about the best way to proceed. Buri had insisted on an older child, maybe eight or nine, saying that the few diapers she’d changed on the road to Rachia were enough for a lifetime.

Instead, five days ago, Buri had entered their rooms carrying a squalling mess of blankets with an air of forced nonchalance that had told him immediately what she’d done. Instead of clarifying, or teasing her, or asking if it was the smallest eight-year-old he’d ever seen, he’d simply held his arms out. While Buri had supplied endless explanations about Thayet ambushing her with a baby, he’d stared at the squirming mess of baby in his lap, blankets already coming undone, absolutely entranced.  

“He’s tiny,” he’d commented. His voice sounded like it was coming from someone else’s body. The baby was only just too large for him to hold in one hand, although he’d never try to prove it. The fragility of the life sitting in his lap was overwhelming.

“His mother died yesterday. Childbed fever, caught too late to help. The priestesses at the Goddess’ Temple were worried he might need more than the homes could give.”

Raoul had nodded, only half listening. The baby’s eyes were screwed shut while he wailed. His fine hair was dark, his skin tanned like that of the Bazhir babies Raoul had seen in his year in the Great Southern Desert. One of the baby’s hands had broken free of its blanket. It had waved in the air, keeping pace with his cries, which were far louder than he’d have believed such a tiny body could produce. He’d intercepted the hand with one finger and then watched in wonder as the baby had grasped it.

“Does he have a name?”

“Pathom,” she’d answered definitively, before belatedly remembering that names were the sort of thing parents might choose together. “That is, if—”

“Pathom of Goldenlake,” he’d cut her off with a smile.

The days that followed had been a blur. Thayet had found a wet-nurse and supplied an endless stream of goods that they’d have never known a baby required. Alanna had ridden in from Pirate’s Swoop at full speed to pronounce in a gruff voice that the infant was in perfect health. Gary had gifted them a bassinet and more blankets than any human child could possibly need. Dom had found a way to convert a standard-issue burnoose into an excellent baby sling, while Evin had given them a congratulatory note from George, who complained that Alanna had left before he could finish writing, and a cheerful promise that he’d never touch a soiled diaper. Onua had given them a set of unimaginably soft stuffed ponies, perfect replicas of the horses that roamed the highlands of Sarain where she and Buri had learned to ride.

Kel, away on business with Second Company at the Gallan border, had to wait almost a full week to learn she had a new godsson. He’d met the company when they’d arrived back at the palace long past dark the night before. They’d groomed Hoshi and Sparrow together while he thanked the gods for perhaps the hundredth time that her “testy pony” had finally found his way out of the Own stables and into a pleasant retirement.

Finally, when the last of the men had trudged towards the barracks and a well-earned nights’ sleep, she’d turned to him.

“Well?”

“There’s someone important I want you to meet,” he’d said, shoving his hands in his pockets with a smile that was equal parts nervous and eager.

“Sir, I’ve already met your wife.”

Raoul had let out a hearty chuckle. “But you haven’t met my son.”

Kel had frozen. Her face fell back into perfect stillness, the way it did when her mind was working its fastest.

After a second that felt like an eternity, she replied, “Sir, I saw Buri five weeks ago. If you’re telling me you’ve managed to grow a baby since then—”

“We didn’t, but someone else did. We adopted him from the Temple after his mother died in childbirth.”

Understanding flashed in Kel’s eyes while her face broke into a rare broad grin. She’d wrapped her arms around him in a fast, tight hug accompanied by enthusiastic congratulations that had gone suddenly silent in surprise when he’d added, a wicked glint in his eyes, “You really should come by tomorrow to meet your godsson.”

Buri had intercepted Kel on the practice courts the following morning with the dual goals of keeping her own skills sharp and ensuring that Kel would not be too polite to visit. And so now, he watched as Kel bounced his son with the brisk certainty of someone who had held a baby a thousand times. He could hear her cooing quietly at Pathom, softening her consonants while she told him all about forest campaigns in hill country. He knew he should ask her to speak up—if she was going to give her report verbally, she could at least give it at a volume he could hear—but he found he wasn’t particularly interested in the intricacies of the Second’s bowstring supplies. Buri made eye contact with him behind Kel’s back, laughter in her eyes. Buri could laugh if she wanted, but he was taking notes on Kel’s tactics. He would have sworn this was the quietest he’d heard his son in the entirety of his hundred-and-twenty-odd hours in the palace.

As his son stared wide-eyed at his former squire, Raoul was reminded of a comment he’d heard as they’d left Turomot’s offices the other day with paperwork making Pathom officially their own. “Well, that feckless Goldenlake dolt’s managed to start a family, even if it was too late to do the thing properly,” the Lord of Genlith had muttered at their backs as they’d left. Buri had elbowed him and whispered a quick “Feckless? I’ll show him feckless,” but her heart wasn’t in it. Before she’d even finished the thought, her eyes were back on Pathom, squirming against her chest in the burnoose that bound him to her.

And now, Raoul watched his son, passed between his wife and the woman who had been like his daughter long before any papers said he was a father. Stuffed Saren ponies lined the shelf above an intricately carved bassinet filled with beautifully embroidered blankets. A protection charm had been pulled from Alanna’s packs to hang at the head, while twin leather circles bearing the insignias of the Riders and the Own, no doubt carefully cut by mischievous commanders from the saddle packs of some unprepared trainees, was secured carefully at the foot. Raoul had to smile for a moment at Genlith’s ignorance—he’d begun his family right on time.

[theoreticalconstruct]

Necessary Cynicism (DE, see notes)

Title: Necessary Cynicism Fandom: Disco Elysium Characters: Kim Kitsuragi, HDB/the Detective, implied Lena x Morell x Gary Notes: References to homophobia, fascism and racism against an expy of East Asian cultures.

I don’t know where this came from. Just thinking on these three and how the married cryptozoologist couple reacts when Gary is called out on his tampering. 

Written for @pridewrite​ prompt 5a: Cryptids

---

Kim was fairly sure that Gary was in bed with the cryptozoologists. He meant that literally, possibly with both of them but at the very least with Morell.

Part of him hated that his mind jumped to these conclusions, and hated even more the fact that they were, quite often, right. He'd heard the jokes that homosexuals and other "deviants" - not that he could ever quite think of himself as anything particularly deviant, not in the sense he cared about, but he’d been called that often enough by proxy if nothing else - could see their own almost instantly. Kim didn't actually believe it, but he had found that he'd been right more often than not - first about his current partner, whom he had realized was deeply repressed in his own sexual attraction towards men in addition to his other quirks, and now these three.

He looked away as the Detective demanded the armor back, not particularly caring to watch. It wasn't any hard evidence that he had - just the way that they scolded him, the way they pleaded for clemency. Lena had spoken like a woman who had known how important this man was to her husband. He'd seen similar arrangements before - such things were far from uncommon in Revanchol if one knew where to look. This man, this racist that he’d disliked almost from their first interaction, was someone she saw as a loyal friend, a person she could trust her husband with when she was unable to follow him into the jungles. And he had no doubt that he was a loyal friend, to them at least.

Obviously the idea that their new acquaintance could be part of what the smoker had so charmingly called "the homosexual underground" changed little of Kim's dislike of him.  He was a racist who believed horrible things about Seolites, and he could tell from the look on his face when he looked at him that while he might outwardly recognize that he was from Revanchol, that barely made him any better than the ones he believed were spying on and manipulating the world. The fascism was really just the icing on the cake; he was just as much a relic of old days and ways of thinking as that damned pinball machine. If he had not turned out to be tampering with evidence he would've wanted nothing to do with him, and he was very pleased to let his partner deal with this particular set of questions.

If Kim had been younger, if he had only just realized his preferences were for men exclusively, he might have seen this man as a potential ally. He might have spent time understanding him, realizing why he thought what he thought. He might even have tried to argue with him, try to find some way to break his racist and fascist lines of thinking, make him a real ally.

But Kim hadn't been that young and idealistic in a very long time. The RCM had a way of forcing its officers to adopt a cynical attitude, and he knew that any attempts to push this man to be a better person were doomed to failure. Perhaps someday he would look past his poor lot in life and stop blaming people from other nations for his own misfortune, but that wasn't going to come from one of the men he despised.

No, he was happy to leave these three alone. Morell and Lena had been friendly enough but he had heard some of Gary's venom behind their kind words; they might not even consciously realize just how much of his attitude they had absorbed. Maybe someday they would see the errors of their ways - his partner for this venture had not been shy about calling people out on racist behavior, something that Kim had certainly marked - but it would not be from him. He had struggles of his own. He had no desire or strength left to take on the salvation of people who thought him less than human.

---

(Note for pridewrite mods: Kim is canonically gay, the Detective is canonically (or close to canonically) bisexual, and my mind went to the others being in a v-relationship with implications of bisexuality.)

[jyndor]

Rogue One Meta: Bookends

You know what I love about Rogue One? Well, a lot of things. The anti-fascist message, the characters, the found family trope, the soundtrack, how pretty the whole movie is... there is just too much to like about it. But one thing that really gets me going is how neatly the movie ties in its beginning with its ending.

Let’s do a recap.

So in the beginning, we skip the usual Star Wars crawl and get straight into the action: little Jyn runs to her parents, the family packs up what little they can grab, Lyra calls Saw to alert him to Krennic's approach, Galen asks Jyn to tell him that she understands that whatever he does it is all to protect her. She says she does (she doesn't, of course; she’s EIGHT) and they hug it out. Lyra takes Jyn off to go hide in their little bunker before she changes her mind, she gives Jyn the kyber necklace and then leaves Jyn to try to save Galen, etc etc. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

We all know that when Lyra tells Krennic that he will "never win" and is killed while shooting Krennic, Jyn sees it. We know that Jyn hides in the bunker for a long time, long after her lantern dies out, until Saw is able to rescue her.

We know this just as well as we know how the movie ends: Krennic finds Jyn on the top of the tower, she knows she is about to die so she tells him that she brings her parents' revenge, that he has lost and he snarls at her, monologues like a villain always has to do, aims his blaster and-

Cassian shoots him before he can pull the trigger. Jyn transmits the Death Star plans, Cassian stops her from wasting time on Krennic, they definitely don’t make out on the elevator, and then they go sit on the beach and cuddle while they wait for their deaths. It’s very cute and very sad.

We know that Jyn is Galen and Lyra's weapon, their revenge for the violence that Krennic did to them personally as well as for what the Empire has done to the galaxy. It's personal and political, as most things are. Rogue One makes this very clear - the personal is political (btw the radfem who coined that phrase can get fucked tyvm).

It’s actually always been how Star Wars works. We would care about Alderaan’s destruction, it’s a terrible thing, but we feel so much more connected to it because of Leia. The Empire oppresses every day people, but when we see Owen and Beru’s charred corpses (and Luke’s grief) we feel more about their deaths than if we didn’t just see them sitting down for a meal together with our protagonist. The Clone Wars is so effective because we care about the characters and see the war through their eyes. Politics is personal.

At the beginning, Galen is resigned to being taken by Krennic and working for the Empire against his will. It's why he sends Lyra and Jyn to safety, because he knows that they will be used as hostages to force him to complete the Death Star (and Lyra says as much). But Lyra obviously isn't willing to give her husband up without a fight (and she's also not willing to let the Empire get any closer to building a 9/11 times 100). It’s both political and personal.

Lyra’s heartbreaking act of resistance creates the narrative framework for who Jyn will become in the film but also for Cassian. In fact I would argue that Lyra's fridging sacrifice is just as important to the structure of Cassian's arc as it is to Jyn's. Don't buy it yet? Okay, look:

Lyra hits Krennic in the shoulder but it's just a graze, and she gets shot first so whether or not she's any good is irrelevant. Cassian is a soldier and a sniper. She also doesn't have the element of surprise on her side like Cassian does. She's a civilian, he's an officer who grew up in the rebellion.

But Cassian doesn't hit Krennic in the chest or the head, which he clearly could do. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have the time to fuss with his aim because he makes it up to the top of the tower just in time. Or maybe since he's really hurting, like Lyra, he doesn't have the focus that he'd need to kill the motherfucker.

Cassian hits Krennic in the shoulder just like Lyra (although I assume given how Krennic falls on his face it's not a graze).

Lyra walks so that Cassian can run.

None of them - not Jyn or Cassian, certainly not Galen or Lyra - gets to kill Krennic; none of them matters as much to Krennic as Krennic himself does. He's a textbook narcissist, so of course he is his own downfall in the end. It’s infinitely more satisfying to see him regain consciousness, look up at his creation and watch it aim at his head, and it would be to see Jyn or Cassian kill him. Cassian gets to tell Jyn what Lyra no doubt would have liked to tell Galen - "leave it" - and then walk away arm in arm without sparing Krennic another thought, and Jyn gets to finally outgrow this childhood phantom.

So much has been written about how Cassian Andor does not let Jyn Erso down. It's adorable, hilarious and also heartbreaking to see him in full Jyn Panic mode for most of the film. In the novel he's clearly attracted to her (he is a POV character so we get to read about Cassian's fixation on her need~ and how "neither pity nor pragmatism" explains why he's saves her on Jedha, and how when he looks at Galen, Cassian sees Jyn's eyes lmfao okay we get it she’s pretty). According to Chris Weitz and Gary Whitta (in the ign Rogue One commentary) they were originally more romantic but over time that dynamic got dialed back (and they said they're sure some of that got filmed so show me tHE ELEVATOR TAPES MOUSE).

But I don't think Lyra and Cassian mirroring each other has to mean Cassian loves Jyn in the same way that Lyra loves Galen. Love takes many different forms - even romantic love. What isn't up for debate is that Cassian is the only person in Jyn's whole life who does not leave her behind. No one who cares for her wants to leave her - not Galen, Lyra, or Saw; not the Pontas in the extended content, not even the rest of Rogue One - but Cassian seems to comes back from the dead for her.

Which is exactly what Krennic sarcastically says about Lyra when she comes running up to them.

In this case Galen doesn’t think Lyra is dead but he has no idea what she’s dealing with. He hopes she’s hiding away with Jyn, which is why he tells Krennic that she died, but he’s just giving them time to hide away. For Galen, Lyra might as well be dead because he doesn’t think he’s going to see her again. But when she comes “back from the dead” he feels horror because he knows it won’t end well, that she won’t just go quietly.

Jyn thinks that Cassian has left her just like everyone else. So when he comes back, it’s like a revelation for her. In the novel, Jyn thinks that Cassian looks "as beautiful as anyone" she has "ever known" and after she rushes over to transmit the plans, she smiles up at him "like a child." Hell, the minute she sees Krennic get shot, she thinks that “her nightmare is over.” Which makes me think about how eight year old Jyn never gets the chance to smile up at Lyra like that. In her eyes, Lyra doesn't really protect her from the man in white, and neither does Galen. Saw does but then he abandons her when he worries people will use her as a hostage against the Empire. Galen, Lyra and Saw do try to protect Jyn from the Empire, but the steps that her parents take (all three of them) are to hide her, or to leave her.

In Jyn's eyes, that isn't protection the way going on the offense is. That is also the thesis of her speech to the Council - appeasement and hiding away from evil does not stop evil from harming innocents, these are not ways in which people can resist occupation and oppression long term. It makes sense coming from a former insurgent; to her, nothing but direct action is going to make a difference. And she would know - after Saw leaves her, she does take part in some minor actions (according to the expanded lore) but mainly she’s in hiding, looking out for herself and coping with the trauma of being abandoned by all of her parents.

So the one person who not only gets her mission off the ground, but who also vanquishes this monster who has been haunting her since her childhood is Cassian. He ends what Lyra begins.

But Jyn doesn’t end what Galen started. She continues what he started, just like Bodhi (who basically functions as Galen’s adoptive son you will not convince me otherwise). I started this essay talking about beginnings and endings in the sense of a story’s structure, but Rogue One in the larger context of Star Wars is neither a beginner nor an ending - it is just one generation (that of the prequels) passing on the torch to the next generation (the original trilogy). In politics there are no beginnings or endings, there is just (hopefully) generational progress in struggles.

The whole movie can be summed up in one scene:

But just because it can be summed up that way doesn’t mean it should be. Of course, John Knoll got the idea for the movie based on the scroll in ANH so it makes sense that Rogue One’s characters ultimately are just a footnote for the rest of the galaxy. But for us, the audience, when Luke destroys the Death Star... well, now there is even more weight to that moment. Now we understand what got sacrificed to get those plans, who died and how and why. (That doesn’t mean we need to make a movie about these guys getting butchered by Darth Vader. You don’t need to explain everything.)

Like Leia and Alderaan, this family we meet makes it even more personal. Rogue One is just as much about family as it is about standing up to oppression. It's a Star War, those are like the main tenets of any Star War. Not to quote a meme and make it serious, but maybe the real Star War is the family we found along the way.

[sondrawr]

Where Monsters Dwell

“What kind of place is this?” “The kind of place where fairy tales live and monsters dwell.” —Smoke Bitten

Adam Hauptman is intimately acquainted with fear. It was born in a jungle in Vietnam and never quite left him. Even in his happiest moments—of which there were many, especially recently—it lurks in the fringes. Lying in wait.

When he sees Mercy broken on the burnt grass, seemingly dead, he feels that fear claw up his chest and strangle him. He blacks out for god knows how long, his worst fear playing like a feedback loop in his mind. It isn’t until Samuel, still wolf, bites him in the arm that he finally comes to.

That’s how Adam finds himself, naked and half covered in blood, cradling Mercy’s body. His pack huddles around him, worry creasing their faces. He feels the stink of his fear billowing out of him like smoke, choking everyone around him.

“She’s alive, damn it!” Gary finally manages to gasp. He is panting, voice raspy. How long had he been trying to tell him?

Adam reaches down into himself and feels for that thread-thin bond that connects him to his heart’s mate. It’s there, flickering. He grasps it in both hands, wrapping it around his wrist, anchoring himself to sanity. To her.

Mercy survives that night, like she has done so often before. But one day her luck will run out; his fear whispers the words he knows too well. She’s not like Coyote—damn the man—who resurrects like the sun every morning.

Adam hates beyond telling that her unconquerable spirit is wrapped in such an insubstantial thing as human skin and bones.

:::

Adam first met Mercy Thompson in Montana when she was about thirteen years old. He was up on business, Alpha of a New Mexico pack and newly engaged to a blonde, 22-year-old coed named Christy.

Mercy at the time, before the deaths of her foster parents robbed her of childhood, was still all scraped knees and awkward arms of adolescence. Jutting chin and slumped shoulders—defiant and bored.

There was a ghost of a bruise on her face from the accident where she wrapped Bran’s brand new sports car around a tree. He had heard of that incident within hours of it happening, as he suspected most wolves did, even across the ocean. Mercy’s antics were already famous.

She sat on a chair outside Bran’s office, the scuffed toe of her sneaker knocking into a leggy console table nearby. Looking at him sidelong, she had the air of someone waiting their turn at the principal’s office.

When the door finally opened to let him in, he asked, “What did she do this time?” He stepped around Bran to enter the office.

Bran’s mouth pressed flat in an irritated line, while Charles smirked in the corner. He was the one who answered: “Something about chocolate Easter bunnies.”

“She poisoned a group of boys at school,” Bran snapped, closing the door a little too roughly behind Adam.

“Really?” That seemed a bit extreme for the young girl, whose reputation for pranks were mostly harmless, if effective.

“She injected several chocolate Easter bunnies with ipecac,” Charles explained. “And then warned the boys not to steal them, or ‘they would pay.’ They, of course, did not listen. Apparently the boys had been in the habit of stealing the younger kids’ candy for a while.”

Adam laughed despite himself.

“She wants for discipline,” Bran said with a frown.

“Mercy has plenty of discipline,” Charles answered. “It’s the focus of it, that’s the problem. Her interests are too narrow and she has an overdeveloped sense of justice.”

“And her foster father can’t do anything?” asked Adam.

Charles smirked. “If Mercy were a wolf, I wouldn’t be surprised if she outranked him. Any good she does is out of love for Bryan and his mate, not because of fear or intimidation.”

That was, Adam realized, the principle by which Mercy lived her life. It was the driving force of all she did for her family and friends—the pack she forged for herself, not with magic ties but by fierce loyalty and reckless love.

:::

It has been months since she recovered from her devastating injuries. Injuries that Samuel said at first would be the end of her. Her survival is nothing short of a miracle and, Adam suspects, a bit of Coyote’s magic.

Now night holds new terrors for him. He lays in bed at night just listening to the steady beating of his mate’s fragile, mortal heart. Dreading the day when it would inevitably stop.

:::

Mercy was twenty-three when he next saw her in the middle of a Washington desert. Alone in the world but still causing trouble. The first order of business for his newly arrived pack was eliminating the rogue wolves who were harassing her. Saved without so much as a thank you.

Was it coincidence or conspiracy that brought her to the Tri-Cities when Bran had ordered Adam to move his pack north from New Mexico? Coincidence on her part probably, but definitely not Bran’s, whose machinations were wide reaching and infamous.

That Adam bought the property behind her trailer was pure, ornery spite on his part.

She had marched up to him on the first day of construction and stuck a finger in his chest. “Tell Bran that I don’t need a babysitter,” she told him, eyes flashing. “I’ve done fine for eight years without his help—I’m done with wolves.”

“Good to know,” he answered, because he knew that response would drive her crazy, and turned back toward the construction of his pack house. He imagined her making faces at the back of his head and smiled.

:::

He kisses a line down her body, pausing at the shiny-pink of each new scar. Scars she earned in defense of his pack—in defense of him.

And he knows his love is killing her.

Oh god, would her life be better without him? Yes, the fear—the monster—inside him says. Yessss. We will kill herrrrr.

Panic like bile rises in his throat, and he gulps it down. Beneath him Mercy tenses, sensing his change of mood. He murmurs quietly, nuzzling her, lulling her back into softness underneath him. His lovely Mercy. His mate, for who he would willingly lay down his soul, let alone his body.

Whom he would kill for. Without question.

This. This will be his goodbye, then.

He presses a kiss to her inner knee, to her neck, and then presses into her, drawing a sigh from her lips. With his own he continues his careful ministrations, whispering a benediction against every mark on her skin that dares to be there because of him.

:::

His touch is a disease. His touch is a curse.

He can’t bear lying next to her and not touching her, so he doesn’t. He stays late in his office. He sleeps in the spare guest room. It’s killing him, but every day she’s alive, and it’s worth it.

It’s killing him that she wanders the house with those empty eyes, a line of concern between her brows, the hurt and confusion that clearly marks her face.

But at least she is alive. And soon, it will be over.

:::

Adam’s favorite memory of Mercy—the one he thinks of before he puts the gun to his head—is of her in the wedding dress too fancy for the church reception that his pack and daughter put together. She’s dancing with Jesse, at the heart of the people he loved most in the world, swaying to a country song blasting from the church’s ancient speaker system. And she turns to him and smiles.

He can see it as clear as if it were right in front of him. There was so much love in her face then. How different are those faces, the one from his memory and the one Mercy wears at this moment, when she finally sees him for the monster he is.

But she is not disgusted and horrified, as he feared she would be. She is furious. She throws a barrage of words against him, her unfettered anger like a battering ram.

In the years Adam had known and loved Mercy, he has become intimately acquainted with her many moods. Sneaky, playful, worried, content. They were as familiar to him as the feel of Mercy’s calloused hands in his.

Her white hot rage was something entirely new. And through clenched teeth she seethes a truth so utterly profound, that in that moment it shatters the madness that grips him. He lowers the gun in his hand.

Three simple words they had spoken to each other again and again. Whispered in passion and in play. Promised—sworn.

“You are mine.”

:::

He believes her. And for now, so does the monster.

You are mine.

You are mine.

You are mine.

He follows her home, to bed. And though he can’t make love to her like he wants, he worships her body with oil and hands and mouth.

It isn’t until she is completely sated and asleep when the monster rips through his body again. A monster that he now realizes is the ugly marriage of his own fear and self loathing, and Elizaveta’s death curse.

But instead of hurting his mate like Adam fears, the monster scrabbles out from beneath the covers and huddles in the corner of the room. It sits there watching his mate, the covers rising and falling to the rhythm of her breathing.

Within a few minutes, the even breaths stutter and stop. “Adam?” she calls, voice rough with sleep.

It’s the monster that growls in response, and Adam waits. It didn’t work, he thinks. The monster is still here. Will you finally leave me like you’re supposed to?

And still he remembers her promises: You are mine. You are mine. You are mine.

“For fuck’s sake,” she says sounding annoyed. “Get back to bed. I’m cold.”

Oh, my Mercy.

After a moment, the monster cautiously approaches the bed, and it creaks under the sudden weight. It wraps itself around her, tucking her head under its chin. She draws up the covers over them both, and they settle to sleep.

For the first time in a long time Adam prays. Let this be enough. This love. Let me be enough to keep her safe.

If God is kind and he is lucky, maybe it will be.

Maybe the monster will love her, too.

[longbobmckenzie]

I posted 1,189 times in 2021

252 posts created (21%)

937 posts reblogged (79%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.7 posts.

I added 2,603 tags in 2021

#litg - 802 posts

#litg ff - 688 posts

#mutuals write stuff - 295 posts

#mutuals write stuff i like - 226 posts

#longbob answers asks - 142 posts

#rec'd - 128 posts

#longbob writes - 101 posts

#sos - 81 posts

#self rb - 77 posts

#litg fanfiction - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#got the first part of this ask as well but everything that needs to be said is right here

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

it’s just a crush ch. 1 [Bobby x MC]

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32240941/chapters/79904947

New town, new school, new friends. Those are the top things on Meg Rennell’s mind when she and her brother Gary move away from Chatham. Then she sees Bobby McKenzie in the hallway at school, and one glimpse changes her life forever.

The question is… will he ever notice her?

It’s finally here! I first dreamed up the concept for this fic a year ago, and put it on the backburner while I worked on W&S and EOTW. Then I wanted to have a clear direction and a bunch of chapters written before posting, got distracted by ntoo and a few other things along the way, and now I’m finally posting!

Hope you enjoy! 💕

44 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 16:50:04 GMT

#4

Thanks so much to the wonderful and super-talented @smaiihands for this ABSOLUTELY STUNNING commission of Henrik Blondbeard, one of the characters in my LITG pirate fic Edge of the World!

It was such a pleasure working with you again!

A/N: yes, it's true that he doesn't have a beard. that's still his name!

57 notes • Posted 2021-07-31 18:54:39 GMT

#3

Whiskey & Scotch ch. 45:Epilogue is up!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24148177/chapters/73219032

Thanks to everyone for reading!

Also a HUGE thank you to @smaiihands​, who created this commissioned piece and brought one of my favourite scenes in the whole fic (from ch. 31) to life! I’m so in love with it!!!

65 notes • Posted 2021-02-28 22:28:39 GMT

#2

Thoughts on LITG Matchmaker

Posted this on the Fusebox subreddit here if you’d like to upvote/comment, but thought I’d share my thoughts on tumblr as well.

***

Don't download it. Don't play it. Definitely don't spend money on it.

I know it's tempting, but just don't - unless you really like match-3 games and don't mind a diluted version of the same content you've already played.

If you download it, FB will see how many people have downloaded the app. If you play it, you'll be watching ads, and Fusebox will earn ad revenue.

Money talks, and the only way to get Fusebox to understand that we want full seasons of LITG content (the game we're really here for) is to boycott Matchmaker and just not give them what they want.

Look at all the time and hard work that was poured into LITG. Even if we don't like S3 or different aspects of the other seasons, we still recognize that a lot of hard work was put into it, and the people who worked on it have been treated unfairly by Fusebox. They've been laid off, and the work they've done - the art, the characters, the story - has been outsourced and turned into a stripped-down version that forces you to play a bunch of puzzles just for a few lines of dialogue. All so that Fusebox can spend less and earn more.

The regular game is what made this fandom what it is. We get angry at it, but we still replay it over and over. We discuss it, we tell others about it, we write fanfiction about it, we bond with others over it. Do you think we're gonna be doing that for matchmaker? No. If Fusebox doesn't create more real content, this fandom will die. The game has its issues - lots of them - but it was unique for its replayability. The characters are what make the game, and that's just not going to be compelling enough in a match-3 game.

So delete Matchmaker. Go back to the real game and replay S1, S2, CMM, even S3. Let's show Fusebox what we want, since they won't listen to our complaints.

74 notes • Posted 2021-07-05 12:55:15 GMT

#1

Commissioned this beautiful portrait of Long Bob McKenzie from @smaiihands​, and I can’t stop looking at it! 😍

The work is to accompany my fic Edge of the World, which I recently completed on AO3 - click the title if you’re interested in checking it out! It’s an original pirate AU inspired by the boys’ dinner conversation in S2 after girls’ day, and features all the S2 characters in some way or form. It was so much fun to write and I’m so pleased to see Long Bob come to life!

131 notes • Posted 2021-03-03 00:12:40 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[safflowerseason]

Anonymous Asked

(post #5 in the “Tumblr ate my asks” series)

“No pressure if you're short on time since I know there's a lot to say about it, but I would love to hear your thoughts on the relationship between Amy and Selina”

Hi Anon - you sent this in weeks and weeks ago, and I’m sorry it took me ages to get around to it! But the question has been on my mind recently as I’m rewatching S3 and writing the next chapter of BMTL. 

What I find kind of interesting and frustrating about Selina and Amy’s relationship as presented on the show is that it’s a bit opaque compared to Selina’s other relationships (or Amy's with Dan, her other primary emotional foil on the show). We know virtually nothing about how Amy came to work for Selina (other than that she must have been quite young) or what she did that made her so invaluable; the most evident dimension of their connection—the fact that they are two women in a heavily male-dominated workspace—is never addressed explicitly by the writers. From the very beginning of the series, Amy has to try and defend her close relationship with Selina, but since we didn’t see how they became so close…to me, it always feels a little like there is something missing, in the way their connection is laid out.

I think the pilot actually works well as a kind of microcosm of Selina and Amy’s dynamic as it plays out through the Iannucci years of the show. Amy is presented as Selina’s right-hand woman; Selina clearly regards her as the smartest person on her team and has some measure of her respect for her that she doesn’t have for, say, Mike. But by the end of the pilot, she’s also gone over Amy’s express recommendation (hiring Dan) and has no objection to Amy performing a humiliating and sexist task (go on a date with Jonah in exchange for fixing the card situation). This is the dynamic that plays out through S4—Selina turns to Amy last and often only when she feels she’s truly backed into a corner and/or can’t discuss a particular issue with the men on her team. There is something very intimate about this kind of relationship, of course, and it’s drawn in deeply emotional terms. But in exchange for this particular kind of political intimacy, Amy has to fake a miscarriage, flush Selina’s toilet, get picked last for campaign manager (and only after she sabotages Dan and thus the very campaign she wants to run), and essentially watch Selina make increasingly bad political decisions based on advice from her current favorites while ignoring whatever Amy tells her. And one might say the tragedy of Amy’s character is that she endures these indignities not because she’ll get fired if she doesn’t do them (although that is literally true in some cases), but because she clearly derives a lot of her personal and professional self-worth from doing Selina’s dirty work. To a certain degree, and in face of stark evidence to the contrary, Amy believes that her willingness to do these things means that Selina values her the most of all. 

That all sounds a bit darker than I mean it to. Of course Amy does experience small moments of genuine triumph under Selina, and she obviously wrestles with the uneven terms of their relationship during the first four seasons of the show—she thinks about jumping ship in S2, we see it dawn on her in S3 that Selina is basically her entire life in a way that probably isn’t healthy, she goes through phases of trying to develop some kind of life outside her work. Her own personal ambition is also a huge part of what’s going on. She’s very invested in the idea of being the managing force behind the first female Vice President (and President) and that helps her put up with Selina's most infuriating qualities as a politician. And of course, she does ultimately quit mid-way through S4, as she comes into this realization that she got her chosen horse into the White House and it’s a fucking disaster. 

As for Selina’s side in all this…this is where the opacity of their relationship really features for me. I admit, I don’t quite understand viewers who talk about Iannucci-Selina as if she is Amy’s endlessly supportive older gal pal. Selina says more nice things about Gary in the early seasons of the show than she does about Amy. Yes, she obviously sees Amy as someone who can perform a certain kind of emotional labor for her and she relies on her greatly for that. Selina is very isolated emotionally, and I think Amy’s presence in her entourage as a young woman who is personally and professionally devoted to her is very reassuring to her, even if she doesn’t really realize it until after Amy leaves. This is something @thebookofmaev pointed out to me and I think it's quite telling: Selina reacts to Amy’s resignation in S4 by arranging “girls night” with her old law school friends, which she obviously finds excruciating. It’s significant to me that Selina is trying to fill an emotional hole, rather than a political one. While it’s obvious Selina generally prefers the company of men, there is something in her relationship with Amy that I think she finds very uncomplicated and soothing in a way she doesn’t find any other relationship on the show. She needs Amy for the moments of emotional extremity that Ben can’t handle. But considering how she treats Amy outside of those few moments, it's hard for me to view the relationship as one between genuine equals (not to mention the literal power imbalance between them). She needs Amy when she needs her and there’s no space for anything else in their relationship. 

Amy returns to Selina in the S4 finale and it’s clearly a deeply psychological impulse more than anything else, more to do with herself than Selina, I would argue. It’s one of Amy’s most honest moments in the whole show—she can’t not be there after spending so much of her life invested in getting Selina elected. Selina collapses in her arms and wails that she should never have left and it’s genuinely moving and borderline romantic…and then she tells her supporters at the election rally that Amy took time away because she had a mental breakdown. Plus ça change. 

Unfortunately, we can’t know what Iannucci had planned for Amy and Selina…I suspect we would have seen a few more “break-ups” in their relationship as it became increasingly unstable, and Amy would continue to wrestle with the costs of remaining within Selina’s orbit. Obviously (as a Dan/Amy shipper, haha) I think Dan would have been part of that journey for her…S4 is pretty explicit (in my opinion) about the fact that Dan now officially occupies the third point of the triangle between Selina, Amy, and some semblance of a life, not to mention the fact that the Dan/Amy/Selina triangle is a major structural anchor of the show in its own right. 

Of course, one of the greatest objections fans had to Mandel as a showrunner was his approach to Amy and Selina’s relationship, largely driven by Selina’s transformation into the ultimate mysogynist. I don’t agree with this interpretation of Selina, but I do think the deterioriation of Amy and Selina’s relationship is very plausible even under Iannucci. Amy has to leave Selina at some point, like most strategists move on from their bosses if they want to remain politically relevant. But Selina's attachment to Amy is primarily emotional and not political, and Amy permanently moving on from her would be a bitter pill for her to swallow…she clearly views Dan and Amy at PKM as non-WH extensions of her staff, but Amy leaving to work for another politician, especially a female one, would be unbearable for her. Similarly, I do not think any version of Selina would react well to the news that Amy was going to have a baby. We can’t know if this was a sure thing in the Iannucci Veep universe, obviously, but considering how she reacts to Mike potentially becoming a father…I just can’t see Selina embracing the fact that someone else is going to have a superior claim on Amy’s time and energy. (But I also don’t think Iannucci-Selina would ever order Amy to have an abortion, of course.) 

My fic, Bring Me to Light, is exploring this theme to a certain degree. It imagines a future in which Amy has fully invested in a life outside of Selina, and when her old boss makes a reappearance, Amy struggles with old professional demons (and of course, because I’m the author, she has to reckon with Selina and Dan’s separate professional relationship as well 😈)

Well, this turned into quite an essay, so I’ll stop there. You’re right, Anon—there’s so much to say!

[writingesgaypism]

This is! Literally just two people playing a stupidly simple game! That’s it. There’s no plot other than that. Anyway, go play @lureofthegallowsgame‘s game. Erin’s a delight, Leo is the light of my life, and you get to play as a seer which is cool asf. And Jude is just a gremlin.

---

“Okay,” Leo says, fry in hand but holding off on eating it just yet. “Anchorage.”

There’s a song playing, just audible over the low murmur of the other diners at Saint’s, but Jude is very much not listening to it. They keep their straw clenched between their teeth for a little longer, momentarily distracted by the playful tilt to Leo’s head. Blinking, they release the straw.

“Boston.”

“Columbus.”

“Uh, Dayton.”

“’Uh’ doesn’t start with D,” Leo teases.

“’Dumbass’ does,” Jude mutters, grabbing a fry for the express purpose of tossing it at them. “It’s your turn.”

“…El Paso.”

Jude ducks their head a little to hide their smirk. “Had to think on that one, didn’t you?”

“E’s hard! Can you think of a city off the top of your head that starts with E?”

“I don’t have to, we’re on F now.”

Leo narrows their eyes, but if they were going for stern they fail miserably. They’ve still got that dumb, pleased smile on their face, and the force of it scrunches up their nose just a little. Jude would be able to read the same thing in their dumb, pretty eyes if they could get themself to look for longer than a second, but that’s too big of a risk to take in public. Or in private.

“Well, go on, then,” Leo says. “You’re up.”

“Fresno…? That’s a city, right?”

“Yes?”

Jude takes a quick sip of their milkshake. “It sounds fake when I say it out loud. It’s G now.”

“Gary — Don’t give me that look; it’s a city in Indiana!”

“New rule,” Jude says, swiping a fry and sticking in in their shake. “No cities that are also people names.”

“You can’t change the rules mid-game,” Leo protests.

“I can and I did. Houston.”

“You did, but you shouldn’t,” they say. “Indianapolis.”

At that moment, their waitress swings by, one pen perched behind her ear and another in her hand for reasons Jude doesn’t quite understand. She smiles, asks if everything’s all right, and will they be needing anything else? Jude lets Leo handle her because they’ve always been better with people, but they do manage to thank her before she leaves.

They both reach for another fry at the same time and Jude pulls their hand back before they collide, trying to keep their smile from seeming awkward. “What were we on?”

Leo puts their fry in their mouth and finishes chewing first, obviously in no rush, watching Jude the whole time. Jude, in turn, refuses to make eye contact, instead focusing on the line of their jaw until they realize that’s… not better. Their gaze darts to the side and they put their straw back between their teeth. Very casual. Smooth, even.

“We were on J,” Leo says, and, dammit, they can hear the smile in their voice even without looking. “Also, it was your turn.”

“Jackson…ville.”

Leo snorts, nudging their leg under the table. “Skirting your own rules?”

“Take your turn before I die of old age, Leo.”

They laugh. “It hasn’t even been, like, a second, but fine. Knoxville.”

“Lansing,” Jude says, absently licking french fry salt off their thumb.

“You know, the further in we get, the more I’m starting to wonder if there actually are cities that start with every letter of the alphabet.”

“Why wouldn’t there be?” Jude asks.

“I don’t know,” Leo concedes with a grin. “I was stalling because I almost said Michigan. Memphis.”

Jude scoffs and stirs their shake. “Really? M isn’t even one of the hard ones. How is it that you, the honor roll kid, couldn’t instantly think of a city that starts with M?”

“First of all, just because I was on honor roll doesn’t mean I automatically know every city name. Second, I got… distracted.”

“Idiot. Nashville.”

“Omaha,” Leo says, then leans forward. “So you’re admitting that the honor roll thing was a non sequitur? Since you’re not arguing against my point.”

“Oh, that’s the part you’re concerned about me not following up on? Phoenix.”

Their smile tugs up higher on one side, mischievous and fond simultaneously. “Why, do you want me to tell you why I was distracted?”

“I —” Jude risks a quick look at Leo’s eyes, catches something between nerves and an affection so deep it almost pulls them under, and swiftly redirects their gaze to the diner’s checkered floor. “No. I want you to take your stupid turn.”

Leo fidgets, then tries to cover it by reaching for a fry. “Uh. Quincy.”

“’Uh’ doesn’t start with Q,” Jude says, in a poor imitation of Leo’s voice. “Reno.”

“Play fair, Jude. Sacramento.”

“I am?”

Leo hums, resting their chin on their fist. “Your turn.”

“Tallahassee. I’m playing fair!”

“You did change the rules part of the way through,” they point out, smile turning slightly conciliatory. “And… Union.? Yeah, Union.”

“Well… I didn’t try to disqualify you for it, so. Venice.”

“Which one?”

They pause in the middle of drinking, brows furrowing. They take a moment to swallow, then, “What?”

“Which Venice?” Leo says.

“Does it… matter?”

“I suppose not,” they reply, “but so far we’ve really only been doing American cities. Venice, Italy would’ve been an odd outlier, don’t you think?”

“I try not to,” Jude says dryly.

They reach over to ruffle Jude’s hair, laughing at any attempts to swat them away. “Aw, don’t sell yourself short. You think. Usually.”

“Not around you,” they snap, then make an odd, strangled sound. “Because. You lower my IQ with your presence! It’s — Take your turn.”

Angrily, they start in on their shake again, tapping their foot under the table. There’s a brief silence from the opposite booth, but Jude absolutely refuses to look up until the conversation moves on.

“Waterloo,” Leo says finally, something dangerously soft in their voice.

“I don’t — Is there even a city that starts with X?”

“Hmm, what was it you said to me when I was wondering about the feasibility of this little game?” They tap a finger against their lips and Jude very definitively does not notice in the slightest. “Something about… Why wouldn’t there be?”

Jude takes a breath to recenter themself, and reaches into their pocket. “I’m phoning a friend.”

“Oh, so that’s a rule now, too?”

They pointedly ignore Leo, sending a quick message to Warren and hoping he responds quickly. Or maybe it would be better if he was just a little slow. To give them more time to recover — No, there’s his reply. They tap out a string of heart emojis and set their phone on the table triumphantly.

“Xenia,” they announce. “It’s in Ohio.”

Leo leans back in the booth, taking a fry almost as an afterthought. They don’t look too closely at Warren’s answer. “All right, all right. Yukon.”

“How did I get stuck with X and Z?” they grumble.

“I don’t know,” Leo says, “but since you get to make rules, I’m making the rule that you can’t use the same get out of jail free card twice. You’re on your own with this one.”

Jude sticks out their tongue and Leo’s shoulders lose a tension that Jude hadn’t quite realized was there until it was gone. Their phone screen has already gone dark on its own, but they slide it slightly off to the side anyway.

“Oh, we’re so close, there has to be — Oh! Um! Zion?” They look to Leo for confirmation, beginning to smile at the amusement they find on their friend’s face before they catch themself and pretend to examine their poor, chewed upon straw.

Leo laughs easily, their own eyes never straying from Jude. “Zion it is.”

[imgonnaketchumall]

Ash sits inside the room at the Shady House. He looks around the room, and is glad that no one is inside with him. It’s just him and Pikachu, and as comforting as it may seem, it also is worrisome. The though of it being just him and Pikachu is one that is comforting, yet not. Because when it comes down to life, it always just ends up being the two of them. And when Pikachu leaves (because Ash is so sure, everyone does, eventually) it’ll be just him.

Life just happens, and people leave. Eventually people just go and he can’t explain as to why, but he knows that like the sun will set, people will just up and leave. It’s been happening ever since he was little.

He can hardly remember the early days. The days where his father would pick him up and laugh, the days where he would be held and loved by a man who now frightens him. He can’t remember much about the man now, other than the vague blur of memories and the stories his mother and aunts have told.

He remembers being told to be a good boy, and then being held by his mother as she cried tears. She hugged Ash tight and the two watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtles together as her river of tears dried up.

With trauma always comes change, Ash has learned. Every time someone leaves, something happens. Something changes, and Ash learns to deal with it anyway he can.

His aunt has him go to visit his grandmother one day. She drops Ash off with his cousin, going to press a kiss to his head and whisks his mom off for a day of shopping. The sisters go out and pamper themselves, leaving Ash with his favorite cousin Red, who also lost his father.  But he’s also with his eldest cousin, Trey, who doesn’t care for anything that isn’t his dumb gameboy and always being right.

His mama comes home that afternoon with her brown locks drastically shortened at her chin, and nails polished in faint pink. His grandmother smiles sadly, seeing the hurt behind her daughters eyes.

“See Del, I told you you’d look good! New cut, new chapter.” His older aunt also has her locks shortened, just not as much.

“Hill, really?” She tucks a strand behind her ear. “Well, Ashy has been a handful lately. it’ll be a bit easier to manage.”

With the disappearance of his father, Ash finds him sitting in a room with a guy to chat with. Ash doesn’t understand, but his best friend Gary says that his Gramps has put him in the same thing when his parents went away.

When he’s seven Gary decides one day to up and leave. He decides that Ash isn’t fun to play with anymore, and that he’s now serious about having friends that are cool and ones that aren’t cry babies.

The leaving of Gary brings tears of anger. It brings his mother with pats on the back and lots of playdates with pokemon outside. He sits on the swings alone, and forces himself to not cry when Gary convinces everyone to not invite Ash to birthday parties.

Just when things couldn’t get worse, Ash watches as his favorite playmate, his beloved cousin Red, go off on a pokemon journey. Red leaves with an eager charmander and eyes of spark. Red makes promises to write and send postcards, but never doe he send any.

Red doesn’t come home for holidays. Not his birthday, not Christmas, not festivals. Red wins a league and doesn’t come back, going to live on the mountain.

By the time he turns ten, he can count on one hand the amount of people who’ve left: Dad,Uncle, Gary, Red. He closes himself off and gathers his partner at the lab. His partner is ready to leave the second he hits route one, the pikachu all sparks and anger.

“Then go! I don’t need you to be a pokemon master!” Shouts are made, and the little rodent thinks to head off, but doesn’t when a pack of spearrow attack. The pokemon watches as Ash saves him, and the rodent vows to never leave Ash.

They meet Misty, and then Brock. The journey starts to feel like maybe he wasn’t meant to be alone, that those he loves won’t leave. But as soon as the time comes, Brock leaves, because people always leave him eventually.

But then Tracey joins, then leaves, because people do end up leaving eventually.

(But then Brock comes back, and it’ shocking because people never come back.)

Bu like all highs, come with high lows. Misty gets a call, and then leaves. Misty doesn’t come back. Because she can’t come back. Misty leaves, and then Brock leaves, too.

(Somewhere, somehow, Red comes back. Red is back and Ash doesn’t know. Gary comes back around when he’s done playing bully. Ash is more suspicious than surprised. More scared than happy. Gary’s back. What the fuck does that mean?)

Ash travels Hoenn alone. He’s met with two siblings, two people who can never leave each other. He claims they’re lucky, and May just laughs and snorts. But then Brock comes back and makes their trio a foursome and it’s strange. People have always left but come back? Never.

(Secretly, Ash is counting down the days when Brock announces that he can’t take anymore of you Ashton. Because it’s bound to happen. He knows it.)

Brock remains until the end of Hoenn, then back to Kanto. May only leaves when she discovers other contests in other regions, and Max can’t travel alone. Once again, Ash ends up alone. This time, he’s sure of it.

Brock returns once again like a boomerang. He’s back in the cold Sinnoh region with Ash and a lovely bluenette. It’s like clockwork, because Ash knows that in the end, they will leave.

Ash goes to Unova, and there is no Brock.Because like all good things, people leave and they don’t come back. Ash hasn’t seen Misty since Hoenn, Ash hasn’t seen May since Sinnoh. Dawn is gone.

They’re alone, and meeting Iris just makes him feel like he’s with a young Gary. (He see Gary sometimes, and they’re cordial. But it’s a change, and Ash isn’t sure why he feels that way.)

Cilan joins, and like routine, at the end of the journey they leave, and Ash makes little preparations to see them again. He doesn’t think they will visit again, because it’s getting harder and harder. He thinks that he’s starting to hit that mark where people are done, where they leave because they all do it.

Kalos brings him alone with Pikachu. A twosome of siblings, and they make him feel the joy he had when it was him and May and Max. But its’ a bit different, because their threesome is joined by a girl with long hair who thinks he owns the world. Suddenly, he’s perfect and his eyes swim with haunt and disgust everytime she lifts him up.

(How can she think he’s perfect? How can not understand that people leave? People go away, and it’s his fault. He’s not perfect. He’s not anything.)

He leaves Kalos with more trauma and more haunting. He leaves with a kiss and confusion, and feelings that make no sense to him. He leaves, and anxiety piles up as he sits in his home, in his bed.

Alola comes, and there’s no league. There’s no gyms, no journey. There’s school and routine, and people don’t just leave. Kukui kisses him goodnight, and like a father, wakes him in the morning. But then he gets married and the twosome turn to three. He tries not to impose. He was the reason his first father left, and he’s sure he’ll be the reason for the second.

(But Burnet stays, and Kukui stays and everybody stays.)

He meets a boy with jaggy hair and a grumpy look. He meets a brother. One that appears mean, but understands each bone in his body. He lets Ash cry and the fears of his father, of his past, his brother doesn’t laugh at. He sits there and nods and listens and then it hits him. He sees the papers and the photographs. He sees love. He sees a man and a woman who love each other and want to get married. He sees young, in love, and he sees himself. He sees how he could get in the way. He sees how he’s been the pest,the kid, the twerp.

He eyes the photographs and just knows he’ll leave too. And when he leaves Alola, he knows he’ll be just another student, just another person. And it’ll be him and Pikachu, then him and Mama.

(And he hopes Gary, that maybe Gary and him will get married. But Ash can’t see that. He can’t see them having the perfect yard or house, because he knows that he’s a trainer at heart and people leave. He can count them all on two hands now. Maybe three.)

Once, when he was seven, he had to go to his therapist. He had to talk about Gary, and about how he was lonely. He was told it appears he has trust issues, abandonment issues.

So as Ash sits alone in the room, petting Pikachu silently, He knows that eventually, it’ll all go away, and his brother will just be another broken boomerang, like the rest.

(He hopes not, for the love of Arceus, he hopes.)

inspired by @raichoose and Red is from @champofpallet

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Rewatching the HP and FB movies

I have a tradition of rewatching HP movies at least once a year. This year, I added the two FB movies as well. I know lots of people have well deserved issues with a lot of thing with the franchise and I do too, but I still thoroughly enjoy the movies. All of them. Certainly there are some big issues I have, like how Kloves treated Ron starting from GOF onwards, and how Hermione kind of became a mary sue, and definitely some of the things that were added or removed, like the removal of some of the Riddle memories in HBP, removing the pretty fascinating Dumbledore backstory in Deathly Hallows, the silly inconsistencies like polyjuice not changing the voice of the characters etc... But in general, I still think the movies did a great job capturing the spirit of the books and the casting was just incredible. Especially the adult casting. I know we have only seen one version of Harry Potter on the big screen, but I envision these actors, especially the adults, when I’m reading the books now. Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltraine, Mark Williams, Julie Walters etc... are now the faces I see when I think of those characters. Richard Harris was a terrific Dumbledore for the first two movies, where he had more of grandfatherly, twinkling, vibe. I know people are critical of Gambon in GOF and he admittedly did get the characterization wrong, but I feel he was excellent in POA, OOTP, and especially HBP. Alan Rickman was just so outstanding in the role of Snape. I genuinely feel he should have gotten some Oscar consideration for his performance in DH2. But he was incredible even when he had only a few scenes and had to be super dry in his dialogue delivery. Maggie Smith was similarly wonderful. But these were just the adult regulars, but equally incredible were the phenomenal actors who came for just a few films. There are so many. Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Emma Thompson, Jim Broadbent etc... among many others. A lot of these actors only had a film or two where they had a significant presence, but they showed up in cameos in other films, particularly in DH2. I have a lot of respect for the casting directors for this franchise since they cast basically half of all of British’s well respected acting thespians. Even someone like Bill Nighy appeared, just for two scenes in DH1. Rhys Ifans came in DH1 and was terrific in the two scenes he was in. Ciaran Hinds also was in just one or two scenes and he was also very good. And all these actors felt like they gave it their all and that it wasn’t just a paycheck role.

When it comes to child casting, what strikes me is the amazing continuity the series kept. Its one thing to be able to keep the core child actors like Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Tom Felton, but one of the most satisfying aspects of the series is that a lot of the core group of side characters were continuously played by the same actors. Not just Matthew Lewis and Bonnie Wright  and the Phelps brothers, but also Alfred Enoch as Dean, Devon Murray as Seamus, and Joshua Herdman as Goyle. It would be very easy to replace some of these side characters over time and no one would notice, but the continuity makes it so much more enjoyable when in DH2 Seamus helps Neville blow up a bridge based on the fact that we know Seamus from the first movie was known for blowing stuff up. Its the small things that make it so great. Possibly the most accurate bit of casting was Evana Lynch as Luna. I honestly can’t think of a single actor more perfectly cast in the series than her. The core quartet were all lovely. Not always consistent, but more than good enough. I actually think Dan was the weakest actor when the series started, but he made remarkable improvement in the back half of the series, especially OOTP onwards. He is outstanding in DH2 I thought. Tom Felton didn’t always have to do much until HBP, but he was excellent in HBP. He does seem to have been stereotyped a little in the other roles I’ve seen him in but it still means he was great. Emma Watson’s performance fluctuated a bit. She was very good as a kid, then she was kind of bad in GOF and in parts of OOTP, but she found her footing again in HBP and especially in DH1, which I still consider to be her best acting performance to date. I think Rupert was always the most natural actor of the lot. He was probably the most hard done by the Kloves because they kind of typecast him as the comedic sidekick, but I can’t fault Rupert because he was a pretty gifted comic. Like Emma, when he got more scope in DH1, he did an incredible job. I would say Bonnie Wright is maybe the only one who didn’t fully grow into the role for me. It probably has a lot to do with writing, but she also really didn’t share any chemistry with Dan which made that relationship feel pretty flat and forced. But all in all the casting really made these movies and they elevate the movies significantly. But I admit all the craft behind it. Also, some of these movies are close to two decades old and the effects hold up quite well. I think there are scenes in the first movie that look a little dated, particularly the flying scenes, but subsequent movies seemed to find the right blend of practical and visual effects to make the movies look pretty timeless. 

I think all the directors did their job really well. Columbus did a good job of bringing the childlike wonder of the initial books to life, Cuaron brought his more adult quality as the kids grew up, Newell ramped up the scale and the scope, and Yates managed to bring home the darkness. Definitely the films weren’t flawless. Like I mentioned before, there were times when some characterizations were off, some key subplots were eliminated or not handled well, some things added which were not needed etc... but the spirit of the books remains. I have a deep fondness for the movies as I feel I grew up with them as I am basically the same age as all the main child actors in the movie so I grew up and watched them grow up. So while they aren’t in the league of greatest films of all time, but its a remarkably consistent and enjoyable franchise that lasted an entire decade.

When it comes to Fantastic Beasts series, I was excited that Yates and Rowling were developing something new but I also feared what would happen given they didn’t have the structure of a book series to guide them. The fears ended up being fairly valid. The first FB is a pretty enjoyable film. I do think they did a good job creating a likable quartet of main characters and the actors all did a pretty remarkable job. It was also a refreshing change to watch Magical World from an adult POV as well as experiencing a new location and time period as well. The issue with the first film is that the film has two separate storylines which don’t really merge well together. The story of Newt, Jacob, Tina, and Queenie finding and recapturing the suitcase of magical creatures is actually very charming. The film does a nice job of creating some unique magical creatures and adding something new to the Magical World, but then there is a dark and gloomy second plot which doesn’t work as well because it essentially isn’t much of a story other than just showing Credence being abused and manipulated time and time again until the climax. It neither merges well tonally, nor plot wise. The way they try to put Newt at the center of the climax felt very clumsy and unearned. Overall, the first film still has sufficient enjoyable charm and I certainly like Redmayne, Waterston, Fogol, and Sudol. Farrell was a damn good villain. Miller was a little too mannered for my taste but I understand what he was going for. Voight is there for no reason at all in a perplexing subplot that goes nowhere. But still, more positives than negatives. FB2 is where the franchise really dropped the ball for the first time and Rowling’s inexperience as a movie screenplay writer became very obvious. The film is literally a setup for future movie, designed to get characters into certain places where the real story can start. the film essentially has no plot other than a bunch of wizards across Europe are looking for Credence and Credence is searching for his identity. There is really nothing else in the movie. The movie is overpopulated with characters, and Newt ends up even more incidental in this movie since he has no interest in going after Credence himself at all for 2/3 of the movie. All the things that were good about the first movie are lost as Jacob and Queenie only share two scenes together, Tina and Newt only share the last act or so together, Newt and Jacob end up only have a couple of scenes together. Its all rather boring and dull. The performances are fine. Depp was a good enough Grindelwald but I don’t think he was given any more to do other than just be surface level evil. One of the most inspired casting decisions was Jude Law as Dumbledore. While he doesn’t ape Gambon or Harris, he does capture the twinkling spirit of Dumbledore and his scenes are the best. The film also has a rather odd plot concerning Leta Lestrange. It is simultaneously important and completely pointless at the same time. I felt that the character had a compelling backstory and interesting potential but the film barely has time to address it any sort of depth before she gets pointlessly killed off at the end. The film also does a pretty bizarre character assassination of Queenie who makes decision that I really don’t understand. I guess this all boils down to the fact that this story may have worked in Rowling’s head as a book where each character’s internal thought could have been given more depth but what happens is that pretty much every sub story is pretty unsatisfying. Its certainly not an unwatchable disaster, just rather dull and devoid of the spark that the wizarding world movies should have. I hope they can turn things around because the film leaves things at a very peculiar juncture which doesn’t make much sense based on what we know of the HP canon.