#moreid fanfiction

[spritehouse]

cry for help, i am not joking (wip)

moreid angst

⚠️CONTENT WARNINGS: nsfw (not graphic), drug use, self harm, suicide attempts, overdosing, spencer & derek's canon trauma, unhealthy relationships & coping mechanisms, hospitals, internalized homophobia, disordered eating⚠️

(please let me know if i missed anything)

a brain dump where spencer and derek start fucking after georgia, leeching off of each other and spiraling

The first time it happens is after Georgia, Tobias and Charles Hankel, and Raphael, after Spencer stares down the barrel of a gun and refuses to choose one of his teammates.

The first time it happens, Spencer’s high, pupils pinpricks, reactions delayed, and Derek pretends he doesn’t notice.

They’re both acting, weaving their bodies together, turning blind eyes to the scar tissue against exposed skin, long, vertical lines down the younger brunette’s back, surgery scars from a life of self-sacrificing recklessness tearing into the older’s skin, more lines from when they stopped teetering on the edge of life and death, imagining a strong push either way, letting themselves fall— Spencer when he was ten, twelve, fifteen, eighteen and Derek when he was thirteen, fifteen, sixteen, eighteen— relishing in glimpses of free fall, flying until the same hands that hurt them hauled them back.

They’re both performing, pressing messy kisses against lips, collarbones, spines, and thighs, dancing for the audience, watching their lives unfold, unraveling and undoing years of progress in one night, wearing masks, of feeling something and nothing.

Derek pretends he can’t count Spencer’s ribs, can’t feel his hips jutting out, and wrap his hands around his company’s limbs, fingertips touching; he pretends he can’t connect the dots in the crooks of Spencer’s elbows— both, because the genius is ambidextrous— like constellations, solar systems of undoing, bruises exploding from the stars, life imploding like supernovae.

Spencer pretends he doesn’t see the bruises covering Derek’s knuckles, ribs, shoulders, and back from taking his anger out on punching backs, walls, and unsubs, from getting into fights— boxing, MMA, on the streets, imagining he’s thirteen again, stooping down to every expectation of him. He ignores the long, grasping scratches against Derek’s back from the faceless girls he takes home, reminding himself who he’s supposed to love.

They don’t talk— that night or the days following— but they fuck.

They collide in bathrooms, closets, empty offices, and conference rooms halfway across the country, matching the number marks they make on each other with the ones they make on themselves.

They fuck in hotels after Spencer shoots up in the bathroom with the door, ignoring how the younger brunette is too high out of his mind to do much besides lay there and how Derek slows to check his pulse, making sure he’s still alive before continuing.

Spencer learns how to do his makeup, painting over bruises, bite marks, and hickeys from nights they’re both too lost, dissociating, high, drunk, manic, depressed, whatever it is that night to prevent, going through the motions until they fall asleep tangled, too exhausted for nightmares.

Spencer breaks it off first, trying to get sober, and the first to come crawling back in the throes of withdrawal, sweating and shaking, blood spilling from where his nails gouged into his crawling skin.

They fuck until he can’t think about the drugs, about Tobias, Charles, Raphael, Georgia, his parents, anything, replacing one addiction with another, clawing at Derek’s skin until he spills blood and the older man can breathe again, relishing in the clarity the pain brings.

They fuck until he can’t think about Buford, his dad, the boys that waited around corners and after school to beat him up until his blood isn’t his, but another unsub’s, flowing under thundering fists until the world calls him a hero, not murderer, victim, weak, helpless, or a plethora of slurs that seep through his skin, latching onto his aching heart and burning lungs.

In the morning, they fuck, get dressed, drink coffee, and drive to work.

Spencer’s things, clothes from his go-bags, mugs, books, and trinkets spread through Derek’s house, the time between trips to his cold, dark apartment growing until he stops, spending time between work and breaking down in the guest bathroom, guest bedroom, kitchen, living room, Derek’s room, Derek’s bedroom, everywhere in their house fucking or destroying himself instead of clinging to the act of okay-ness he put on for two decades.

They alternate bad days because there isn’t enough blood to spill, enough bandages for both of them in one night, oxygen to relieve their burning lungs, falling into a routine of panic attacks and nightmares, breaking down, cleaning blood from the crevices between tiles in the bathroom until they agree to restrict their self-destruction to the bathtub because they’re running out of towels.

They become each other’s emergency contacts when Derek carries Spencer into the ER after finding him in a pool of vomit, an empty bottle of dilaudid in his limp hands, too scared of being alone to give the younger man the escape they crave.

They give the doctors fake names, tell them it was an accident, and it doesn’t take profilers to know they don’t believe them, but the nurses don’t push.

They walk into work the following morning— the younger brunette still unsteady on his feet, thoughts hazy, while Derek covers for him until Hotch tells them to go home.

Spencer drives them to a different hospital a week later when he finds Derek on the floor, coughing up blood as more thick crimson flows from his arms.

They lie to doctors, leave before they can ask too many questions, and Spencer rides the older brunette because he’s too tired for anything else, making sure to roll off Derek’s cracked ribs before passing out.

[ddejavvu]

ok this is a bit complicated so bare with me

spence is a medical doctor but still works at the bau. the bau have to get like an annual medical test and one of them is a blood test.

moreid centric so reid is the one drawing the blood and morgan's scared of them. (derek said that he's gonna pass out and spence said things like i can take your blood when you're unconciouss") emily, jj, and everyone is watching and laughing but derek's nearly having a panic attack. spence then ordered everyone to get out and calm him down. he stopped mocking him and just being so gentle with him like he handle a lil kid who's afraid of needle.

this is kinda complicated and i just taught ab it in my daydreams lol it would mean a lot if you can write it for me, you dont have to though. luv ur writings, ty!!

<3 moreid <3 omg i want more characterxcharacter requests

--

"Spencer," As if the lack of professionality in using Spencer's first name wasn't evidence enough that Derek was panicking, his eyes were wide and intense too, locked on the needle in Spencer's hand, "I'm not kidding. I'm gonna pass out."

"It doesn't matter," Spencer shrugged, a soft smirk on his lips as he watched the usually cool, calm, and collected officer fall apart, "I can still draw blood even if you're unconscious."

Derek's eyes snapped shut, a grimace taking over his expression. And suddenly, it didn't seem funny. The shallow breathing that the man exhibited no longer seemed like grandiose dramatics put on for entertainment purposes, to get a few laughs. Instead they seemed real, ragged, and desperate.

The tightening of his muscles didn't seem like an effort to show them off, instead, his chest was stiff and his arms were pressed up against the wall behind him, holding on for dear life.

The way he'd scrambled up and out of the chair wasn't Morgan making Reid's job more difficult, it was Reid making Morgan's life more difficult.

Spencer finally snapped out of his discerning trance, hearing JJ's voice from across the room, "Oh, come on, you big baby. It's just a shot."

"Yeah," Penelope giggled, "I've seen seven year-olds take that more gracefully than you."

"Jack was better than this at three." Hotch piped up, an amused, seldom-seen smirk on his face.

"Guys," Reid spoke up, his voice much less light and airy than before, now grounded and strong, "Enough."

He didn't think he'd ever spoken with that much raw authority to his coworkers before. Sure, he'd given orders, he'd interrogated suspects, but he'd never silenced his team with two words before.

"Reid, we were-"

"Just give me a minute alone with him." Spencer glanced back at Derek, who was tracking everyone's movements with anxious eyes.

His coworkers, blissfully unaware and unrelating to the raw panic radiating off of Derek, shared a confused look. One by one, they stood, faces much more serious than when they'd been taunting Derek only moments ago. A few even mumbled out a mediocre apology to Spencer, as if he was the one that needed it.

"Derek," Spencer mirrored the man's former unprofessionalism, his voice soft and gentle as he set the needle down, stepping forwards a few steps, "I'm sorry for teasing you."

"It's stupid," Derek gritted out, his chest still heaving, "Hotch said- I'm in my thirties."

"It's not stupid," Spencer shook his head, walking closer and closer to Derek, "It's a phobia. I'm sorry I didn't realize before, I thought you were messing around."

"Don't apologize," Derek shook his head, screwing his eyes shut again, "I just- I can't do this."

"You have to," Spencer grimaced, finally standing in front of Derek, "I'm sorry, I wish there was some other alternative."

"I can't," Derek urged, "You don't understand, my brain won't let me-"

"I do understand." Spencer admitted, "Phobias can be crippling. And any situation seems better than this one right now. But this is mandatory, you have to complete these tests if you want to keep working here. If you don't do it now, you'll have to do it later, and I probably won't be the one administering the shot. Can I please help you with it today? I don't want you to have to do this again."

Spencer swore that he'd never seen Derek look closer to tears without actually crying. His chin was wobbling, his eyes glassy as his fingers clenched into fists to ground himself.

"I'll go slow," Spencer crooned, keeping his voice sweet and soothing, "Or- or fast, if that would help. You call the shots here- sorry, bad phrasing. But you know what I mean, you're in charge. Just because you need to complete the end goal doesn't mean you can't dictate the process."

"Nothing you can do will distract me."

"Actually," Spencer strode back to his desk, picking up an envelope from inside of his drawer, "I think these will keep you entertained for hours."

"What-"

"Baby pictures." Spencer pulled out a thick stack of photos, a slight blush on his face as he looked at the one on the top, "My mom sent them to me the other day. I kept meaning to get them out of here so that no one else could see them, but I guess it's good that I didn't."

"You can't possibly think that a few pictures of you as a kid are gonna distract me from a needle in my arm."

"I'm wearing a tie at age six," Spencer brandished the photo in question, one eyebrow raised, "You just told me the other day that you would bet money that I came out of my mom with a sweater vest on. I thought you'd want to see them. But if you don't want to," Spencer teasingly slipped the photos back into the envelope, heading back for his desk, "I can just-"

"Give me the pictures." Derek sighed, shakily peeling himself off of the wall he'd been leaning against, "Damn you and your stupid little baby glasses."

"I was six," Spencer chuckled, "I wasn't a baby."

"You're still a baby," Derek scoffed, "You're afraid of the dark."

"You're afraid of needles." Spencer deadpanned, leading Derek to his seat, "Did you forget what this was about?"

"Right," Derek sighed, his breath trembling in his throat, "Sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry," Spencer shushed him, "That means the pictures worked. You were distracted, and you forgot about the shot. Keep looking, I'm pretty sure there's one in there of me reading War and Peace at far too young an age."

"Anything before sixty is far too young to read War and Peace," Derek grumbled, sifting through the photos in his lap "But, uh.. Thanks, Spencer."

Spencer smiled softly, the expression barely discernable as he rolled up the sleeve of Derek's t-shirt, "Just don't tell anyone else about the pictures."

"I can't promise that," Derek laughed incredulously, brandishing a picture of Spencer standing outside his university, two feet shorter and ten years younger than all of the other students there, "I'm keeping this one."

[spencersweatervest]

seatbelt (spencer/derek) - 100 ways to say i love you

2. "put your seatbelt on"

"put your seatbelt on." derek says, glancing over at him critically, and spencer rolls his eyes, but complies.

"you know, for all of your nagging at me to wear these things, you're an awfully bad driver." spencer counters, tapping his finger once against the seat as his seatbelt clicks.

"oh, shut up." he mutters and spencer chuckles, "i do because i'm a bad driver."

i want you to be safe, i don't want you getting hurt, he doesn't say, but the corners of spencer's eyes soften, so maybe he knows.

"be a better driver," is what he counters with, and derek rolls his eyes, copying him in a bad impression under his breath.

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

14, 16, 18.

*cracks knuckles* Let's go

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

People having Morgan act like a dick to Penelope in Garvez fics. It is fucking EVERYWHERE and I am sick of it. Like I even read a fic once where he used to sleep with her just to "scratch the itch" even when he was dating people? Even when he was dating Savannah? He even tried to when he was MARRIED to Savannah??? It's a lot more in older fics, but still. Mis-characterization of Morgan, especially in Garvez fics, makes me so mad. ALSO, speaking of Morgan, people having him call Reid "kid" in Moreid fics. Even when they're dating. Even when they're sleeping together (like in the middle of actively doing it). It needs to STOP.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

Oh lord people are going to come for me for this. But... what is so great about Hotch. Why are you all attracted to him. What is happening here. Why do you ship him with everything that breathes. He does not belong with anyone in the BAU. Emily especially, I'm sorry, I despise Hotchniss. (Also Jemily but that's another rant and unrelated to me not understanding the fascination with Hotch.)

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Penemily. Either platonic or romantic, y'all are SLEEPING on this. I love them.

(ask me controversial fandom questions and get controversial answers)

[satchels-and-socks]

Love can rise out of the ashes

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, heartbroken Spencer, frustrated and longing Derek

Pairing: Moreid

Summary: Spencer is heartbroken after Maeve. Spencer locks himself away and becomes a shell of his formal self. Derek realized something and is determined to show Spencer that life goes on and how someone other than Maeve is truly in love with him.

It had been two weeks after Dr. Maeve Donovan's death. It absolutely drove Spencer mad that they couldn't save her he couldn't believe that he wasn't able to save the love of his life but, one thing was for certain it wasn't for the lack of trying they were just too late.

Maybe if he was faster maybe if he was smarter he could have saved her. If perhaps he was strong like Morgan and even smarter than he was he would have been able to save her life.

Or perhaps maybe he was cursed maybe if he hadn't met her maybe she would still be alive. Maybe it was his fault it just seems like anyone he loved leaves him in one way or the other.

Spencer had still been working although he doesn't really leave his apartment he keeps himself busy by joining cases over the phone. The other team members have accepted the fact that he's not ready or perhaps will never be ready to go back into the field again so they just use him for his amazing academic skills although he doesn't feel like a genius anymore.

Spencer hardly ever sleeps in his bed anymore he usually passes out on the couch with a book across this chest. He eats enough to keep himself alive but he really doesn't enjoy it anymore he feels like his life ended the day Marve's did.

Derek for some reason had become more and more irritable. Sometimes snapping at people for no reason or at least not a reason anyone could think of.

"Damnit chocolate thunder you've been madder than a wet hornet for nearly two weeks now and it needs to end now! There's no sense of it I mean my God I hardly get to see our beautiful gray matter anymore he's my best friend he's like a brother to me. Now you're my best friend and you hardly even talk to me or flirt with me over the phone anymore now what is going on with you?"Penelope huffed out harshly in a very sharp voice totally out of her sweet and passive sweetness that she usually has when talking to Derek.

"I'm sorry baby girl I don't mean to be such a jackass. It's just I realize something about myself and it's pissing me off. I realize that I'm in love with someone and I don't know what to do about it. I realized I've been in love with someone and I don't know what the hell to do about it so I'm not mad at you I guess I'm mad at myself and mad at a dead person."Derek grumbled and closed his eyes.

"I need you to breathe chocolate thunder and I need you to look at me. I know you're not really mad at a dead person but, you really are in love with our boy genius aren't you? You've been in love with him for years and haven't really realized it."Penelope said softly changing her tone a little bit realizing it wasn't her that he was mad at. Her whole demeanor changed her best friend was in love with her brother and it kind of warmed her heart she smiled a little.

"I think you might be right. I just never realized how much I loved him until I saw how much it hurt him to see her die. I wanted just to wrap him up in my arms I wanted to hold him but at the same time I knew that it wasn't the right time."Derek could feel his own heart breaking even more he just wanted to fix Spencer to hold him to tell him that he loved him to show him that everything would be okay in time to tell him that he had been in love with him since the first time he saw him.

"So instead you keep those feelings to yourself and set by and watch the love of your life destroy himself? I know you're hurting but you can't take it out on everyone else it isn't right. I know you may not want to hear this but, if you really do love him and you love him all this time you need to tell him. If you want to hold him tell him how you feel because I tell you right now he loves you the same way he always has. Right now he really needs someone to help him through this rough time I know we've all been trying but I really think he needs you I think he loves you too but he doesn't know that you love him." Penelope said quietly looking at Derek with sweetness in her eyes.

"Yeah baby girl you're right I mean you usually are. I'm not sure what I need to say though. I mean there is a chance that he might not love me the same way that I love him." Derek closed his eyes and set on the break room table putting his feet on a chair.

"Maybe I can help you write a note to slip under his door. Maybe I can help you put your feelings into words you can tell him how you really feel. I know there is a chance he might not feel the same way but I'm pretty sure that he loves you the way you love him you ought to see the way he looks at you. But, even if he doesn't he's still going to love you like a brother I can tell that that would never change there's too much love in him for that to change. But, you'll never know unless you try unless you tell him how you feel don't wait until it's too late you'll regret it." Penelope said quietly she pulled out a chair and sat down in front of him taking one of his hands and rubbing it softly.

Derek looked at her and smiled sadly he nodded his head knowing that she was right he had to do it no matter how much he tried to hide it he was in love with Spencer he closed his eyes and opened them as if he was trying to clear his mind before speaking.

"Yeah I think we should write that note you can help me word it if you want to. I know what I want to say I just don't know exactly know how to put it in words."Derek smiled and took Penelope's hand that was rubbing his and kissed it gently.

The two best friends worked on that note for hours trying to get it just exactly the way that Derek wanted.

Spencer was wondering around his apartment Reading a book in different rooms trying everything to keep his mind off of her. He wanted to move on he really did but he didn't know if he could because that was the first time he ever felt anything for anyone except he had feelings for Derek but he didn't know what they were.

Spencer got out a little saucepan and put on some water to make macaroni and cheese. He then got out a little pan for the oven and placed some dinosaur chicken nuggets on it he placed it on top of the stove while waiting for the oven to preheat.

Spencer then proceeded to walk into the living room setting on the couch continuing to read a book. He jumped a little when he saw a note slipping underneath the crack of his front door.

Spencer got the letter in unfolded it he was looking it over.

Dear Spencer,

I know you're going through a rough time right now and nothing I can say can make it any easier not really. I know losing your first love is a tough thing to go through and more likely than not you'll never ever forget it.

But, she would want you to be happy she would want you to find happiness you know love can rise from the ashes. Beautiful things can come your way and maybe just maybe there's someone who has always loved you since the first time they laid eyes on you.

Why do you think I call you pretty boy all the time? Did you think it was some kind of a joke I mean yeah perhaps a little of it was teasing but you are very pretty in fact you're beautiful. I always did love you but I didn't know how much I loved you until I saw how losing Dr Donovan hurt you I hate seeing you hurting like that because I love you very much. Pretty boy I don't want you to go through this alone I'm here for you whether you love me as a brother or a lover I don't care I want to help you through this.

I'm waiting right outside your door and if you love me it doesn't matter in what way open it up and let me in I want to help you please let me help you.

Love you forever and always,

Derek Hank Morgan

Spencer's eyes begin to tear up when he read those words he watched as little puddles appeared on the piece of notebook paper. He stood up slowly and peeked out his peak hole to see if Derek was standing there and he was. Derek was standing there staring at his feet Spencer wondered if this was just some kind of cruel joke he hesitated for a little bit before putting his hand on the door knob he opened it slowly.

Spencer didn't say a word he just stared at Derek his eyes were red and puffy he's been crying so much. He carefully wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his baggy sweatshirt.

"Hey pretty boy can I come in or are we just going to stay out in the hallway like this?" Derek ask with a little smile he stepped a little closer to Spencer.

Spencer winched a little but didn't pull away as Derek pulled him into a tight hug Spencer hugged him back. Spencer sniffled a little still hugging Derek.

"Derek I'm so confused. I loved her I think she might have been my first love but I love you too. I think I have for a while."Spencer mumbled into Derek's shoulder still hugging him really tightly.

"I know kiddo I know it hurts it probably hurts like hell. I love you and I'm here to help you let me help you let me take care of you could ya do that for me kid? We'll take it slow as slow as you want we'll get through this we'll get through this together kiddo."Derek said giving Spencer a tight squeeze before letting go and put in a little space between them so he could look Spencer in the eyes.

"I love you too very much Derek I'm making some lunch it's not much but I like it if you would join me. It's macaroni and cheese and dinosaur chicken nuggets."Spencer said really softly as he gave Derek a little soft kiss on the lips before opening the door and walking inside hoping that Derek would follow him.

Derek huffed out a little laugh and followed Spencer inside setting on the couch he watched him for a moment before speaking.

"Yeah that sounds great kid but I'm going to make us dinner tonight. We'll get through this kiddo I promise it might take a while but we'll get through this." Derek said with a little smile on his face.

The end....? (There may be a part two)

_______________________________________________________

@f-me-reid @buckaroo118 @badgerdryad @girlboygarfield @ssamorganhotchner @urxsavingxgrace @spencermyangel

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

Moreid Head Cannons: How They Get Together

Spencer gets Shirley Temples whenever the team goes out and he isn't having alcohol and Derek teases him about it until he tries one and now he always orders them for him and Spencer whenever they arrive at a bar or restaurant or anything.

It takes a while for Derek to admit it but he tells Spencer is makes him feel like a fancy lady when he drinks them and he loves it, cuz he never really had a chance to be softer and feminine growing up so sometimes little things like this make him feel better and feel more in touch with his feminine side

Spencer and Derek go out on fancy lady outings now where they go to lunch and get Shirley Temples and go shopping and gossip, just the two of them

As much as he loves Penelope, he likes doing this with Spencer as like a guy thing they do together just the two of them

Derek always feels so much pressure to be strong and masculine when he's out with the girls , and never was able to be completely relaxed like Spencer was when they crashed girls night, so they kept this a secret

Eventually the two of them decide to have a sleepover, something neither one of the ever had the chance to do growing up, and they stay up all night eating ice cream and doing online quizzes and eventually fall asleep in their sleeping bags in Spencers living room watching legally blonde

Derek take Spencer home for one of his sister's birthdays and decided he wants to do one of their fancy lady outings with his sisters, so they all pile into his car and go out to get Shirley temples and spend the whole afternoon gossiping and having a great time

His sisters end up giving both him and Spencer makeovers when they go shopping, and come home and make the boys do a whole skin care routine and they try a ton of new hair styles on Reid.

Derek actually really loves the way Spence looks with some of his hair pulled back with little butterfly clips

Spence even starts wearing a little bit of makeup sometimes after their trip back to Chicago

After the trip and how comfortable and expressive he felt spending time with Spencer and his sisters, he finally feels comfortable enough to come out to Spencer as gay

Reid essentially comes out too, telling Derek he's bisexual, but everyone basically already knew that after he came back from seeing Ethan with huge hickies down his neck a few years ago in Louisiana, he just handn't put it into words exactly

After their mutual coming out, their fancy lady outings start to get a little bit more and more like dates, and the sleep overs start to get more frequent

Derek even spent a few days in a row one weekend at Spencer's apartment because they really didn't want to spend any time apart anymore

Before they part that weekend, Spencer suggests that Derek and he think about possibly moving in together at some point in the future to which Derek says it's probably a bad idea, confusing Spencer, but he rushes out and back to his own apartment

it takes a while for Derek to be okay going on their outings again, but when he and Spencer finally go out again, he musters up the courage before they order their drinks to tell Spencer that the reason he stopped going on their outings and told him that it was a bad idea to move in together was that he has feelings for him and didn't want to make Spence uncomfortable with that because he just wanted to be friends

Spencer kinda laughs at the confession and tells Derek that he thought their little outings had already turned into dates and that he has feelings for him too.

They end up ordering their drinks eventually and Derek is very nervous since this is the first date he has consciously been on with a guy and Spencer measures him that he's very good at dating and that was even without trying

[fortheloveofwonderland]

The Kids Aren't Alright | Chapter 2

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - Spencer finds himself torn between two men. An incident at the lake forces his fight or flight mode into action.

Pairing - Spencer Reid x BAU Team / later chapters include Moreid, Temily and Ralvez.

Category - mystery | coming of age | fluff | angst | smut

Content Warnings - mean kids, bad flirting, brief mention of masturbation, smoking, questioning sexuality.

Word Count - 3.2k

Chapter 2 - Unwritten

I am unwritten,

Can’t read my mind.

I’m undefined,

I’m just the beginning.

The pen’s in my hand,

Ending unplanned.

“Jenkins! Jenkins look alive!” Morgan hollered but his words came a split second too late and the partially deflated basketball collided with Riley Jenkins shoulder. 

The teen grumbled a little, rubbing his hand over where the ball had hit him and pulling his lips into a tight line. 

Morgan rolled his eyes as he ran after the ball, for the first time glad that all the sports equipment was sub par as a fully inflated basketball would have hurt a lot more. He scooped the ball up and jogged back to Riley. 

“You ok kid?” He cradled the ball under one arm and patted Riley’s other shoulder. 

“Yeah I’m fine. Sports isn’t really my strong suit.” He mumbled, he always mumbled. 

“No shit!” A voice came from the other side of the hall followed by an eruption of snickers and giggles. 

Morgan whipped around and found the culprit, Max Hernandez, a cocky son of bitch who all the counsellors disliked. He knew by the look on the kids face that he’d been the one to throw the ball and he could tell it wasn’t an accident. 

“Hernandez I hear language like that again I’ll have you packing.” Morgan spat at the overly confident teenager, his tone causing the boy to immediately stop laughing and avert his gaze to the floor. 

The rest of the laughter died out pretty quickly and Morgan motioned Riley over to the bench on the far wall telling him to take a seat before he looked back at the other faces in the hall. Today they played ten a side basketball, tomorrow maybe soccer, the next day possibly tennis. It was all the same to Morgan, he coached from the sidelines, blew the whistle when the kids took things too far, tried to encourage those who actually cared about the sport they were playing. It wasn’t often he had to go full hard ass, but he gripped the ball tightly whilst gearing up to give these kids what for.

“Listen up you little punks.” He bellowed, his voice bouncing off the walls of the sparse sports hall. “Basketball, among a lot of other sports, is a team game. It isn’t about trying to make your squad look stupid, you have to work together if you want the win. I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour and if it happens again I’ll have you removed from all sports classes and you’ll do double duty in Jareau’s art class.” 

His threat was met by many groans from the boys and girls. He didn’t mean to use JJ’s class as a form of punishment but it wasn’t exactly a secret that the kids weren’t the biggest fans of her photography lessons. Morgan actually thought it was quite cool, but clearly these kids had no appreciation for art. Hopefully no one would tell her of his threat, she was already sensitive enough without that blow to her psyche. 

Thankfully none of the teens argued back, mostly all looking sheepishly at the floor and scuffing their sneakers on the ground and Morgan knew he didn’t need to say anymore. He checked his watch, grateful this group's time was almost up and hoping the next lot would be better team players. 

“Go get cleaned up.” He dismissed them with a wave of his hand, retreating over to the bench as Riley jumped up, hanging back a little from his peers before finally leaving. 

Morgan tossed the ball in the direction of the ball bin and slumped onto the bench next to the boy who had his head in a book for the past hour. 

“Not sure how much you plan to learn about sports when you don’t actually watch.” Morgan nudged him in the arm as he closed the book.

“I get the general gist of what’s going on. Someone throws a ball, someone catches the ball, eventually someone tries to shoot the ball in the basket. Did you know that basketball was invented in 1891 by a Springfield College instructor named James Naismith?” Spencer smiled a tight lip smile at Morgan and Morgan swore his chest fluttered. 

“I did not know that.” He tried to ignore the feeling. 

“I already have a leg up on you.” Spencer didn’t mean that to sound dirty but somehow it did and he noticed the way Morgan averted his gaze from him.

“Uh yeah.” His voice cracked a little. “How about that cheap shot Hernandez took? I don’t believe for a second it was an accident. But then again, that Jenkins kid doesn’t exactly try.” 

“I feel bad for him. I know what it’s like not to be good at sports.” Spencer sighed as he spoke, bad memories from high school gym class flooding back to him. 

“Yet here you are still observing my sports groups.” Morgan looked back at him, a small sparkle on his eyes. 

Being new and not particularly inclined to any activity that wasn’t classroom based learning, Spencer was observing activities to decide on which one to assist with at the camp. Unlike fellow newcomer Luke, who had instantly gravitated towards the sailing classes, Spencer had no idea where he would be of most use. 

He couldn’t help but smile, maybe a slightly sultry smile as he leaned in closer to Morgan. 

“Did it ever occur to you that it isn't the class I’m observing?” Spencer tried his luck, testing the waters to see how it would land on Morgan. 

To his surprise, the older boy’s lip tugged up at the corner into a delirious smirk. 

“Are you flirting with me, Reid?” 

“What if I am?” Spencer dared lean in a little closer, catching the scent of Morgan’s cologne mixed sweat which made him a little heady. 

Morgan swallowed thickly at the close proximity and his eyes kept flicking down to Spencer’s plump lips. But before any more could happen, the door to the sports hall burst open and the uproar of teens in the next group swarmed the building. Morgan practically sprang away from Spencer, leaping to his feet with a cough to clear his suddenly dry throat. 

“Catch you later, Reid.” He croaked as he walked away, leaving Spencer chuckling to himself. 

The younger boy collected up his book and hurried out of the hall, an electric current pulsing through his veins. Morgan wanted him, there was no doubt about it. And Spencer would let him have him. 

***

Luke Alvez started every day at camp the same. After skipping breakfast and chain smoking down by the lake, he’d return to his cabin before his first group and he would masturbate. It was mostly for psychological purposes, the flood of endorphins released at orgasm allowed Luke to feel, even if only briefly, like he didn’t want the world to swallow him whole. It allowed him more tolerance towards the moronic teenagers he was supposed to teach, even if only in his first group of the day. 

Of course if it was someone else’s hand that had brought him to completion and not his own, specifically the hand of an implausibly attractive genius, his high might last a little longer. It didn’t stop Luke from imagining it was Spencer’s hand though. It was a pathetic crush, one that would never come to fruition, mostly because Luke wasn’t comfortable enough to admit to liking men, even if he couldn’t help but think about one during his alone time. 

It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being gay, at least he didn’t think he was. He just wasn’t prepared for it to define him as a person. Hell he wasn’t even sure who he was aside from the fact he liked men, so if people were to know surely that’s the only way they would see him. It was probably where a lot of his misery stemmed from, he didn’t get close to people because he didn’t want them to find out about him which led to an extremely lonely existence. Maybe if he thought about it at any length he would realise how dumb that was, but instead he spent his time thinking about how utterly miserable he felt and not how to fix it. 

Once he was finished and cleaned himself up, he locked up his cabin and took a stroll down the hill towards the boat shed. Before coming to the BAU camp, Luke had never once sailed a boat, in fact Luke had never even stepped foot on one. But he found he took to it like a duck to water - no pun intended - he actually felt at peace when he was out on the water, as much as he ever had anyway. It turned out he was a natural kayaker and canoeist, something that surprised him about himself. If you took away all the annoying teenagers, he might actually enjoy his job. 

He got down to the lake early and opened the boat shed, dragging out five canoes and five kayaks. The camp worked with twenty to a group, activities lasting an hour with a short break in between. Three activities between breakfast and lunch, followed by another two activities in the afternoon. The campers had free time until dinner and then there was usually some form of big group activity in the evening, usually a campfire with s’mores and someone on guitar. Honestly it was a little too all American for Luke’s liking. 

He readied his equipment, sweat gathering on his brow from the sun's heavy rays on his leather jacket. He powered through, sneaking in a quick smoke before he saw the first group heading down the hill towards him. Five of the group would kayak, five would canoe and the other half would compete in a relay swim and play ball games in the lake and tomorrow they would switch. Luke mostly sat on the dock and observed, unless someone was drowning or something anyway. He hoped that didn’t happen, he was an ok swimmer at best. It really was a testament to the low bar set by the camp that he was able to take the job without having to prove he was a competent swimmer. 

With any luck no one would ever have to find out. He needed this job more than most. It was about more than just the minimum wage he got paid. It was a roof over his head, it was free meals and safety. He didn’t want to think about what happened when the summer was over and he was out on his ass. If the camp was abandoned for the rest of the year maybe he’d get lucky and be able to squat in one of the cabins, he was an expert lock picker so it shouldn’t be too hard to gain access once he handed back his key. It would certainly beat living in his car. But that was a problem for another day. 

He divided the group up at random and assigned them to their activities. As he was helping one girl into a kayak and giving her a little push down the bank and into the lake, he felt a presence behind him. Once the girl was safely paddling away. He straightened up and slowly turned to face the wide eyed, messy haired teen behind him. 

“Did you know the original kayak boats were made from either driftwood, fallen tree trunks or sometimes even stretched animal skins over whale bones. The word kayak means man boat and originates from the Inuit word quayaq.” Spencer smiled at Luke as he spoke, a little animatedly. 

“Wow, for real?” Luke had heard Spencer was smart but he’d never really had much chance to talk to him. 

“Yeah!” Spencer beamed, nodding his head a little frantically. 

“What do you know about canoes?” Luke leant back against the side of the boat shack, enraptured by listening to the younger boy speak. 

“Well, excavations in the Netherlands show they were used all the way back somewhere between 8200 and 7600 BC.” 

“No kidding.” Luke had a smile tugging at his lips. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” 

“Really cool.” Luke nodded in agreement. “How do you remember all that stuff?”

“I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything I read.” 

“Everything?” 

“Yah huh. It’s a blessing and a curse.” Spencer shrugged. 

He’d shadowed Luke before but so far this was the most the two had ever said to each other. It was nice, Luke seemed genuinely interested in his ramblings whereas everyone else just seemed to tolerate it. He also really liked listening to Luke talk. And he liked his eyes. And his smile. And just about everything else about him. It was different than with Morgan. Morgan was extremely attractive and Spencer wanted him to screw his brains out. But Luke made Spencer’s heart pitter patter against his chest in a way he’d never felt before. Yes he’d very much like to sleep with Luke, but it was more than that. Luke had the kind of eyes Spencer could imagine waking up to every day for the rest of his life. And that was terrifying. 

Spencer, much like Luke, didn’t make a habit of getting close to people. People he got close to either left or developed mental health issues. In Spencer’s mind he was the common denominator in both his mothers illness and his fathers leaving and because of that he didn’t let himself get attached. He used sex as a way to momentarily feel that closeness he longed for but didn’t trust himself to hold onto. 

“I could have used you when I was in high school.” Luke chuckled, unsure of the last time he did that so much. 

“You can use me whenever you want.” Spencer rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, meaning that in the dirtiest way possible. 

Clearly Luke registered the innuendo as his cheeks flushed and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Uh…yeah sure. You know if I ever need to know the history or anything else I’ll be sure to use you.” His voice cracked several times as he spoke. 

The tension rolled out of Luke’s in waves mirroring the one’s on the lake next to them, whether it was because he was uncomfortable or turned on, Spencer couldn’t tell. Luke was an enigma for sure, he would be a hard nut to crack. But that wouldn’t stop Spencer from trying. 

“I look forward to it.” Spencer sent him a butter wouldn’t melt smile which seemingly caused Luke’s existing blush to deepen. 

Luke didn’t reply, he didn’t really have anything to say. Instead the two boys stood staring at one another for a while, the rest of the world fading around them, leaving just the two of them and this seemingly perfect moment. But perfect never lasted. As quickly as reality had dwindled around them, it was snapping them back with a loud cry for help. 

“Luke! Luke!” A female voice reached his ears and broke him out of his stare off. 

He quickly spun on his heels to face the voice coming from the lake. 

“Luke, help!” The girl's name was Paloma Simpson and she was frantically waving her arms over her head to get his attention. “She’s drowning! Help Luke!”

Next to her another young girl was sputtering and thrashing at the water that was lapping over her face. Luke was frozen to the spot, physically unable to move as the scene played out in front of him. 

“Luke do something!” Paloma screamed but her voice sounded distant. Everything was so far away. 

“Luke?” Another voice came from his side, Spencer this time. 

Luke’s heart was drumming hard in his ears, pounding against his chest with its full force. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he certainly couldn’t move. Spencer saw the panic that set in on Luke’s face and knew if he didn’t do something, Luke most definitely wasn’t going to. He tore his eyes off of the other man and back towards the girls in the lake. He didn’t think, he just acted. He suddenly started running towards the edge of the lake, dropping his book and whipping his polo shirt over his head and tossing it somewhere behind him. He managed to kick his shoes off without tripping, which for Spencer was a feat in itself. And before he knew it, he was diving off the dock and into the cool water below. 

Everything that happened next seemed to go at double speed, looking back on it later Spencer wouldn’t even remember reaching the girl and dragging her out of the lake to safety. The next thing he remembered was kneeling over her on the wooden dock as she gasped for air. Luke still hadn’t moved an inch. 

“Are you ok?” Spencer breathed heavily from the exertion and the adrenaline as he spoke. 

“Y-yeah.” The girl, who’s name was Olivia, panted. “T-thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” Spencer’s legs shook as he got to his feet and retrieved some towels from the boat shed. They continued to shake as he made his way back to where Olivia was now sitting up, Paloma next to her, and draped one around her shoulders. He wrapped one around his naked, wet torso and padded over to Luke who finally snapped out of his daze. He blinked several times at Spencer as the fog in his mind cleared, but the way in which the younger boy's wet hair fell in his face sent all his blood rushing south. However Spencer’s concerned frown stopped his excitement in its tracks. 

“Luke, what happened?” Spencer asked softly, hugging the towel to his body. 

“I…I don’t know.” Luke shook his head as the embarrassment flooded over him. “I just froze.”

“It’s a good job I was here.” Spencer felt bad for Luke as he was clearly mortified by his freeze up but he hadn’t exactly enjoyed playing lifeguard. 

“I’m so sorry.” Luke swallowed thickly, feeling a complete fool. Not only had he completely messed up but he’d done it in front of Spencer of all people. 

Spencer shrugged with a small sigh, glancing back at Olivia to make sure she was alright before looking back at Luke. 

“I guess this is where I’ll be the most useful.” He didn’t mind, at the end of the day it would mean getting to spend more time with Luke. But he did also like spending time with Morgan, although admittedly, sports was never going to be his summer activity pick. 

He supposed this way he’d get to pass the long days by the lake with some beautiful scenery, and he didn’t just mean the landscape. As long as none of the kids tried to drown again it might be a nice way to spend his days. It was at least better than being stuck in a sports hall or a computer lab with Penelope or godforbid hiking with Tara. 

Luke was still just standing there consumed in his embarrassment while a soaking wet Spencer gathered up his t-shirt and shoes he’d discarded on the dock. 

“I’m going to shower and get a dry uniform. I’ll speak to Hotch and let him know I’ve found my calling.” Spencer spoke a little sarcastically. 

When Luke simply nodded in reply, he wrapped the towel tighter around his small body and padded away on his bare feet. Luke watched him go feeling like a complete fool. He thought he wanted to disappear before, now he wanted to vanish into thin air. 

Taglist -

@andiebeaword @dreatine @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @thebloomingeagle @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub

[spencermyangel]

Guilt and Brokenness

How did this happen? One minute they were walking up to a witness’ house, the next there was an explosion and Spencer was laying on the ground.

Morgan and Spencer deal with the aftermath of Spencer being injured on a case.

For - @criminalmindsvibez I hope you like it :) 

@cmgiftexchange

CW - Ableism, Permeant Injury

You can also read on ao3

“Reid, Reid. It’s okay, I’m here,” Morgan ran his hand through Spencer’s curly hair, trying to do anything to console the sobbing man.

“How… how bad is it?” Spencer managed to ask through tears and winces of pain.

Morgan glanced at Spencer’s legs. He closed his eyes, anguish written on his face at the sight of the mangled flesh and bone.

How did this happen? One minute they were walking up to a witness’ house, the next there was an explosion and Spencer was laying on the ground.

“Morgan.”

Spencer’s voice snapped Morgan out of his thoughts. He looked into Spencer’s honey eyes.

“How bad is it?” Spencer asked again, this time with more determination in his voice.

Morgan shook his head, “don’t worry about that. Just keep squeezing my arm and focus on staying awake. Help will be here soon.”

Spencer looked as though he were about to argue but suddenly winced in pain and nodded. He gripped Morgan’s arm tighter and tried to stop his increasingly heavy eyelids from closing.

*

Morgan paced around the emergency room, as the rest of the team stood or sat. They desperately waited for news. Morgan tried to focus on his breathing to remain calm and listened to the comforting sound of Garcia’s knitting needles clanging together.

“Spencer Reid?”

Morgan turned to see a middle aged man. The doctor. Morgan, along with the others, rushed over to him. The doctor looked slightly overwhelmed but began speaking.

“Dr. Reid is in stable condition. We tried our best to save his legs, but we had to amputate. I’m sorry.”

Morgan felt as though his heart skipped a beat, his brain racing.

“Both?!” Garcia squeaked from beside him.

“I’m afraid so,” the doctor replied, with sympathy in his eyes.

Morgan stared forward, his face emotionless as he tuned himself out. All that kept running through his head was the fact that Spencer had lost both his legs.

“Morgan.”

Morgan blinked at the sound of his name. He turned his head to the side to see Hotch studying him.

“They said Reid should be waking up soon. Do you want to see him?”

Morgan quickly shook his head, “he won’t want to see me.”

“Why?” Hotch questioned, his brows furrowed.

Morgan scoffed, “because it's my fault. If I had done my job…”

Hotch’s face only grew more confused, “you did your job, you were going to interview a witness.”

Morgan shook his head, “my job is to protect Spencer. I failed.” with that he turned and walked away.

*

“The kid’s been asking about you.”

Morgan turned away from his file and looked up to see Rossi with a cup of coffee in his hand. Morgan didn’t respond.

“He’s wondering why you aren’t coming to see him. He needs you Morgan.”

“No, he doesn’t, Rossi,” Morgan sternly replied.

“He does,” Rossi’s voice grew quieter, “he’s really struggling. Keeps going on about how he’s useless and broken now.”

Morgan shook his head about to turn back to his work.

Rossi scoffed, “so, you’re just going to cut Spencer off? Because he has a disability?”

Morgan harshly turned to face him, his eyes sharp, “it is NOT because he has a disability!”

“Then why is it?” Rossi questioned, his voice soft.

Morgan deflated at this, “because it’s my fault he’s disabled,” he whispered.

“Really?” Rossi reached into his back pocket and pulled out some handcuffs, “Well, I guess I better arrest you then.”

“What?” Morgan glanced at the handcuffs in bewilderment.

“Well, you just confessed to covering Arthur Riley’s property with explosives. A federal agent was injured. That’s a serious crime.”

“Rossi… I… you know what I mean,” Morgan stammered.

“You told me it was your fault. So, either you knew about the explosives or you didn’t. In which case, it's not your fault. So did you know about them or not?” Rossi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t” Morgan responded after a slight pause.

Rossi nodded and put the handcuffs away, “so, it’s not your fault. It’s Arthur Riley’s fault.”

Morgan looked down and blinked back tears.

“How about I take you to see him? He’s staying at my place while he is using a wheelchair.”

Morgan nodded as he wiped away a tear. He stood up and grabbed his belongings.

“Let’s go.”

*

Morgan quietly peered in Rossi’s library, where Spencer was sitting in a wheelchair reading a book. A blanket was draped over his lap. Morgan glanced at Spencer’s legs, which now cut off a little below the knee.

Morgan took a deep breath, before entering and clearing his throat, “hey, kid. How are you doing?”

Spencer jumped slightly as his eyes flashed up. When he caught sight of Morgan, he blushed and quickly adjusted the blanket on his lap to cover his legs.

“Morgan… What are you doing here?” Spencer asked.

“I’ve come to see you,” Morgan responded, “you didn’t think I’d just abandon you, did you?”

Morgan’s heart broke when Spencer’s eyes dropped to his lap and he shrugged.

“Spencer…”

“You didn’t come to see me,” Spencer mumbled, trying to hide how hurt he was, “I thought maybe, I wasn’t good enough for you anymore.”  

Morgan sighed, sadness in his eyes, “no. I… it was hard for me to see you hurt like that. I had to deal with it before I could come and see you,” he tried to explain, “do you understand?”

Spencer met Morgan’s eyes and nodded, “thank you, Morgan. I… sometimes, I jump to the worst conclusion.”

“I understand,” Morgan assured him, “but, just know, I would never abandon you. And for this,” Morgan nodded towards Spencer’s legs, “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

“Well, rolls for now,” Spencer said, with a playful smile on his lips.

Morgan laughed and shook his head, “you’re something else, kid.”

*

Morgan kept his promise. He went with Spencer to physical therapy every chance he could and the day he first walked on his new prosthetics was one he would never forget.

“Okay, Spencer, I want you to slowly release the bar,” Spencer's physical therapist, Adam, said.

Spencer looked at Morgan with fear in his eyes.

“Come on, pretty boy, you can do it,” Morgan encouraged him. This was the first time Spencer would be walking without using the parallel bars.

Spencer gulped and nodded and slowly released the bar. He took a shaky step forward and then another. He looked up at Morgan with tears in his eyes, but a smile forming on his face.

Morgan, himself let out a watery laugh, “you did it!” he said.

Spencer nodded and with determination in his eyes, took another step forward. This time towards Morgan. Morgan smiled and walked to meet him halfway. When they met, Morgan took him into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” Morgan whispered, as Spencer cried into his shoulder.

*

Spencer’s first case back was nerve wracking for him. He was scared of how people, witnesses, LEOs, and others would act. Would they think he was incapable? Unfortunately that proved to be the case, as the detective immediately noted the slight oddness of Spencer’s walk and the chair that was provided for him, while the rest of the team was standing. He gave Spencer a look of disbelief when he spotted a hint of Spencer’s prosthetic legs underneath his pant legs.

This came to a head when the detective and the other officers were getting frustrated with them.

“If you would listen to what we have to say, we probably would have had this case solved already!” Morgan argued to the detective.

Hotch held his hand up to calm Morgan before putting on his Hotch stare. “Listen, you called us here. We are simply here to help you, but you have to let us.”

The detective rolled his eyes, “When I asked for your help, I thought I was going to get a legitime team of FBI agents. Not a ton of people who think they can do fortune telling! You brought a cripple with you, for goodness sake!”

Spencer ducked his head at the last part. He wanted to defend himself, but he couldn’t help but let the detective's words amplify his already self-doubting thoughts.

The sternness on Hotch’s face increased, if that was possible. “That is not appropriate and I’m sure you know that. Dr. Re-”

“No, Hotch,” Morgan cut him off, as Rossi gave Spencer’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. Morgan then turned to the detective, “You know he lost his legs working on a case of two young boys who had been abducted and killed. We were looking for the third one. If he hadn’t lost his legs, someone else would have, and maybe by then we wouldn’t have found the boy in time!”

The detective went silent for a moment before his eyes glanced over to Spencer, “I’m sorry,” he begrudgingly apologized, sensing he wouldn’t win this fight.

Morgan rolled his eyes, “come, Reid, let’s go check out the latest crime scene.”

*

After a few moments in the car, Morgan glanced over at Spencer who was fiddling with a strap on his bag.

“I hope you know nothing he said was true,” Morgan said.

Spencer only responded by shrugging.

Morgan pulled over the care and turned to Spencer, “I’m serious, Spencer. I understand it’s h-”

“You don’t,” Spencer mumbled, cutting him off.

“What?”

“You don’t understand.” Spencer finally looked up, “you don’t understand what it’s like to lose something you used all the time, to feel broken and incapable now that it’s gone.”

“Spencer,” Morgan sighed, “you’re right, I don’t completely understand. I most likely never will. But, those thoughts you have, that you’re broken or incapable, are not true. I don’t know what we’d do without you. What I’d do without you,” Morgan paused, “I love you, Spencer. And nothing could ever change that.”

Spencer looked at Morgan with wide teary eyes. He wiped away a tear that was falling down his cheek, “I love you too, Morgan,” he responded.

Morgan smiled and pulled Spencer in for a hug.

[jakeonao3]

"Your boyfriend wants to talk to you." Hotch handed the phone to Morgan that was starting to blushing by the statement and said, "I don't have a boyfriend." Hotch rolled his eyes without saying anything else, and left the room.

As soon as Derek put the phone on his ear, he heard Reid on the other line "Morgan? Are you there?" It seemed it wasn't the first time he was trying to get his attention.

He cleared his throat and tried to speak. "Yeah, 'm here. What's up, Reid?" There was a chuckle on the other line. "No pretty boy this time?" Morgan's eyes went wide and he began to think shitshitshit he's onto me "Ehm..." He coughed again "Uh, yeah. What's up pretty boy?" His voice cracked and went higher on the last two words without his consent.

There was a long pause before one of them broke the silence.

"Hey, Derek." He only used his name when he was worried about him or when they were off duty. And since they were currently on a case, he must have been worried. You could hear it in his tone. "Are you okay?"

He smiled thinking about Reid being able to know if there was something off with him even when he only said little words. "Yeah, all good." It wasn't an outright lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. He was thinking about Hotch saying your boyfriend speaking about Morgan and Reid's relationship, and how he wanted so bad for it to be real.

His thoughts were cut off by Spencer's voice, harsh but gentle. "Cut the crap Morgan, I know there's something bothering you and I'm not going to let it go until you tell me what it is." It was strange to hear him swear. So strange that he froze for a moment and didn't know how to respond to that.

When he felt like his voice returned to him and was about to speak, he heard a knock on the door. "Hold on Reid." He said to the phone.

He went to open the door and said, "Come in." to the person on the other side of it, before it opened wide and a wild Reid entered the room. He closed the door and said, "Derek." firmly and with authority. "Tell me what's wrong."

Morgan ended the call and put his phone into his pocket. He looked everywhere but Reid's eyes. "Reid, what are you doing here?"

Spencer didn't give up though. "Listen Derek, there is surely something that's bothering you, and I want to help you in any way I can. Because, if you haven't forgotten, we're still on a case and if you keep behaving like this, I don't think we'll be able to solve it without your head in the game."

"Okay, I'll tell you what is it." He paused to take in a deep breath. "But don't you laugh on me, alright?"

"Okay." Reid said and went quiet, waiting on Morgan to spit it out.

"Before Hotch gave me the phone, he-" He paused again, not contemplating if he should say it out loud. But most of all, he didn't know if he should tell him. "He said something that made me think."

Reid kept giving him time to form words but gave Morgan a look that told him to go on and that he wouldn't judge him. Gosh, he really hoped he wouldn't.

He kept going. "And I know it's insane to think that something like that could even be real, but-" He lifted his gaze to Reid's eyes and continued, "I thought about it and I- I'd like it to be real you know?"

Reid clouded closer to him, getting into his personal space. He placed a hand on the other man's shoulder and kept their eyes locked together.

"What are you talking about? What did Hotch say? You're scaring me. What's going on?"

Morgan, hoping he wasn't reading this wrong and it wouldn't ruin their relationship forever, said, "I'm talking about this."

With that, he gently placed his hands on Reid's hips and gave him the time to reject his touch and him, but instead he seemed to get frustrated.

He moved a little closer. His face looking down at Reid's lips and up to his eyes. "Just kiss me already, Der-" He didn't give him time to finish that sentence because he closed the already small gap between them and slotted their lips together.

It was hard and sloppy, they both were waiting to do this for years. Years of pining. Years of thinking the other didn't love them back.

Morgan gasped and Reid took that as an invitation to slip his tongue into his mouth and meet the other man's. Morgan felt like they were two horny teenagers that couldn't stop making out.

The kiss broke when someone cleared their throat at the doorframe of the room. "Finally!" Said JJ with a bright smile. "We're ready to give the profile and you two lovebirds should stop doing what you were doing before someone finds out you were making out in the sheriff's office."

They were so happy they couldn't stop smiling during the whole profile speech.

[solangelo-is-godsdam-kjut]

don't write fanfic if you have brain fog!

I found this when I opened my WIP this morning

[morceid]

Beating the Dead Swan

chapter 15: the turning of pages

read on ao3

<- chapter 14

Summary: The team makes some new discoveries about the case. Spencer makes some new discoveries about Derek.

Word Count: 1k

Content Warnings: hospital mentions, canon death, spoilers for season 10

A/N: hey slaydies. im back

“Hotch?” Derek answered the call on his flip phone.

“We’ve got the phone back from forensics. You need to come into the office immediately.”

“Alright, could I bring Spence?”

He heard Hotch sigh over the phone, “I guess, but I'm not sure if he’ll want to hear all of this. And don’t forget what I said about leaving your apartment. I mean really, he can’t go anywhere but here okay?”

“Really? Is it that bad?”

“You’ll see. Just come as quickly as you can.”

“Got it. See you in a bit Hotch.” Derek hung up the phone and sighed.

Not wanting to focus on the negative words he just heard, Derek went into Spencer’s bedroom to wake them up. Upon opening the door, he found them already awake and drawing in the notebook he had given them the night before.

“Hi,” Spencer said, not looking up from the notebook as they drew.

“Hey, good morning, you sleep well?”

“It’s morning?” Spencer sat up straighter and looked around the room, seeing the sun peeking through their blinds, “Oh. I don’t think I slept last night.”

“That’s alright, you can take a nap in Penelope’s office later today if you need, we’ve both been called in. What have you been drawing all night?”

“Camille. I uh, I keep thinking about how she looked when I found her. I figure if I remember her through my drawings then I can focus on the good parts instead of… Well you know.”

“Ah, I see,” Derek entered the room and he sat on the bed next to Spencer, “I did that once or twice when my dad died. I would listen to these mixtapes he used to give me for my birthday and just doodle whatever I was feeling.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” An awkward silence settled upon them before Spencer asked the morbidly curious question, “How did he die?”

“He was shot in the line of duty and he didn’t make it.”

“Oh, that’s horrible.”

“Yeah, it was. The even worse part that I don’t tell many people is that I watched it happen.”

“Gosh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Could I see your drawings?” Derek asked.

“Yeah, here,” Spencer handed Derek the notebook.

The drawing of Camille was almost perfectly illustrated. Every freckle on her face was in the right spot, the curvature of her nose was smooth, and she looked as though she could come alive, right off the page.

“Wow, this is really good. I can see why you were up all night now.”

“Thanks, it definitely took a while. I’ve drawn her a couple of times actually.”

Derek took that as an okay to look through more of the notebook. The next couple of pages were filled with similar drawings of Camille. Each in great detail. After Derek flipped one of the pages there was a different drawing though. It was a drawing of an empty hospital bed. Although there was no color, you could make out many details. In the empty bed the sheets seemed to be disturbed as if there was a person there, living in the room, but they had just stepped out for a moment or two. The rest of the drawing Derek didn’t get a chance to catch sight of because Spencer snatched the notebook back from his hands.

“Th-That’s something else, I-I’d like to keep it private while I work on it.”

“That's okay Spence, you don’t have to share everything with me. How about we go out and get some food before we get to the office?”

“Okay, that sounds good.”

Derek got up from the bed and he left the room so Spencer could change out of his clothes from the day before. He changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel, overtop that he wore a fleece-lined jacket. The October air was chilly, he could tell just by how the sidewalk looked out the window. A pair of knitted socks Camille had bought for him were slipped onto his feet, and then he laced up his boots.

Derek stood in the kitchen waiting for them as he checked his email. It was all the regular spam as it seemed, along with a couple of files Penelope had sent him. When Spencer came out of their room Derek looked them up and down.

“I-Is there something wrong with my clothes?” Spencer looked down at their body.

“N-No, not at all, you just look very.. Comfortable, I guess. We should get going.” Derek swung his keys around in a circle.

“Yeah let’s go.”

Almost as soon as they walked out of the apartment a cold rain started pouring down over them. The two rushed to the car as fast as they could to stay dry. They got in and both of their jackets were peppered with droplets of rain. Spencer shivered as they adjusted to the coolness in the air.

“You’ve got something there, pretty boy,” Derek said, tousling droplets of rain out of Spencer’s hair.

Spencer giggled and Derek almost caught sight of rosiness spreading across his cheeks. Derek attributed it to the weather so he turned on the heater in the car and began driving. They went through a Starbucks and got coffee and pastries for breakfast before heading to the BAU office.

When they arrived Derek walked with Spencer to Penelope’s office, where she already had some blankets set out for him, and then he went to the roundtable room where Emily, JJ, Hotch, and Rossi stood.

“Alright, so what are the updates for the case?” Derek asked.

“We went through the phone we found at Camille’s apartment and it's not looking good. There were no numbers in common between her contacts and the contacts of the walk-in at Lila Parks’ office, Seb Olson, which is not his real name. The emergency contact he provided for her is an untraceable cell, and the name that was provided for it was also fake. There were only a couple contacts on the phone from Camille’s apartment, but only one of them had texts with Camille. It seemed as though whoever this was had been on a couple of dates with her. There are references to meetings at a coffee shop and other restaurants as well.”

“What does this mean for us?”

“It means we have to question Spencer again.”

TAGLIST: @party-poisxn​ @endingsbeginnings​ @d3pr3ss3d-w33d-wh0re​ @gayvampier​ @moss0ntherocks​ @ssasimmonz​ @hysteriashiv​​ @leomo0n​ @girlboysonfilm​ @harpersequoia​ @tenelvez​ @moreidsdaughter​ @sapphicalexblake​

[spritehouse]

Give it up to You (I surrender) (Scrap/WIP)

Title from Heat Lightning by Mitski

Notes: Another fic I started writing for Whumptober & never finished! I'm not sure if I'll continue this one because Physical Whump™️ is a little outside my area of expertise but I like to surprise myself so here it is

Prompt: Shock (no. 4) Moreid | 689 words | Spencer & Derek get kidnapped and tortured

⚠️TW: drugs/drugging, torture, & electrocution (not graphic)

“Derek!” Spencer screams as pain sears through the older agent’s body, electricity sending sparks of agony coursing through his veins.

“I’m okay, Pretty Boy,” He chokes when it ends, lifting his head just high enough to meet his partner’s eyes, wide and welling with tears as a faceless figure drags him out of the room, “I’ll be okay.”

“Reid! Spencer!”

The voice is distant and muffled—like his head is underwater, thoughts swimming—but desperate as Spencer comes to, half-conscious hands exploring the cold concrete beneath him.

“Der?” He croaks, forcing his eyes open, movements slow and shaky, body disconnected from his brain as he pushes himself up, using the stone wall to stabilize himself. “What–”

He pauses, his gaze finally focusing, finding his partner on the other side of a glass wall, straining to stand on his toes in the center of the room, arms stretched out from his sides by chains attached to either wall.

“Derek? Are you–” His voice catches in his throat, blood rushing to his head, making Spencer stumble back.

“Spence? What is it? Are you okay?”

“Disorientation, drowsiness, lowered coordination...” Spencer murmurs to himself, letting his forehead fall against the cold wall, taking a few shallow, shaking breaths before speaking up so Derek can hear. “Drugs... I’m on– I’ve been drugged.”

“What–?”

“Not opioids,” He adds, lifting his head again, finally making eye contact with Derek. “A sedative, probably... I can’t remember...”

“Okay. That’s good; you figured that out fast, which means your beautiful brain is still intact.” Spencer hums a small affirmative, sliding down the wall.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Pretty Boy; my shoulders are a little sore, but I’ll manage.”

“They overpowered two FBI agents,” The younger brunette murmurs after a minute, gears in his head still turning, albeit slower than usual. “We didn’t have our guns on us, but we– well, you could’ve defended yourself... Do you– What do you remember?”

Derek pauses, brows furrowed as he searches his fuzzy memories.

“The bookstore; we were walking back to the car from the cafe, and you wanted to stop at the bookstore, and then–” He shakes his head. “It goes dark after that.”

“Do you feel–?” Spencer trails off, eyelids fluttering closed for a second as he loses his train of thought, looking for the right word like digging through mud. “Did they drug you?”

“No, but my head hurts; they probably blitzed me.”

“Makes sense... disable the stronger one first...”

“Yeah, so they blitz me first, then drug you before you can react and bring us here. Why?”

“No kidnapping or missing persons cases in the area that fit this. Have you noticed anything unusual lately?”

“No–”

Derek’s eyes widen, his heart racing as Spencer slumps forward, chains rattling as he pulls on the without give.

“Spencer!”

“Don’t worry, Agent Morgan; Doctor Reid is okay,” Someone speaks, their voice deep and masculine, drawing Derek’s attention to a speaker in the corner. “I just gave him a little something to help him sleep. We can’t have you two talking too much before the fun begins?”

“What do you want?” He keeps his voice steady as he speaks, unwilling to let the unsub feed on his fear.

“I want to break you, Derek Morgan and I’m going to use your boyfriend to do it.”

+ Alt Opening:

Spencer wakes up to the all-too-familiar feeling of opioids clouding his thoughts, eliciting a low groan from the groggy genius. 

“Well, look who’s finally awake!” An unfamiliar voice echoes, making his head spin.

“Spence? Are you okay?”

He hums, nodding in what he hopes is Derek's direction.

“Oh, he’s more than alright, Agent Morgan; Doctor Reid is having a great time right now.”

“I’m high.” The younger brunette fills in when his boyfriend doesn’t respond, words bitter and burning on his lips.

“I really thought he’d be out longer; looks like our Pretty Boy here has a higher tolerance than I anticipated.”

“Don’t call him that–”

“‘S okay, Der,” Spencer interrupts, hearing the anger rising in the older agent’s voice. “He’s trying to get a reaction outta you.”

“Who would’ve thought the addict would be the reasonable one here?”

[starch1ldz]

Spencer smiling down at his phone

Morgan: So, who's the lucky girl??

Spencer: ... Who said it was a girl?

Morgan: Pause, rewind, WHAT?

[thatqueerfangirl02]

Please tell me I’m not the only one who gets obsessed over Fanfic authors.

Like I’ll read a fic that’s just amazing, and I need more so I go to the author’s profile. I always start with the same Fandom/Ship/Trope of the first fic (it depends on how many works they have). Eventually, when I’ve read all of those, I’ll move on to other fandoms that I’m in and they write for. Sometimes I’ll even go into their bookmarks, because they clearly have fantastic taste. I even keep the profile open in it’s own tab just so I can check for new content every few days.

Just, you know, fangirling over fanfic authors.

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

MY MASTERLIST OF ALL THINGS

Tumblr won't let me save/post my masterlist as a post, so here's the google doc of it!

[scullee]