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shakespeareanwannabe · 4 years

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Protective Instincts

Santiago Pope Garcia x F!OC

Summary: After everything he’s done, Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia can’t fathom the idea of bringing a child into the world. But sometimes, life doesn’t work out exactly as you’ve planned. *Based off of some wonderful headcanons written by @darksideofclarke*

Warnings: Pregnancy fic (so if you’re not into that, please don’t read), swearing, reference to smut (but it’s only like one line), references to blood, death (of adults and children), and PTSD

A/N: Hi everyone! So this is my first fanfic post on Tumblr (I have an active account on ff.net, and if anyone is interested in reading that, I can send you my account name). I really enjoyed writing for Pope, it was really nice to spread my wings outside of the Supernatural fandom, so please let me know if you enjoyed this, because I’ve got so many ideas for how to turn it into a series. Hope you enjoy! And let me know if you want to be tagged in any future chapters that come out.

15 steps to the left.

Stop.

Turn.

15 steps to the left.

Stop.

Turn.

Repeat until the worries of the mind and the heaviness of the heart disappears.

“Hey, baby, I’m home!” Pope’s voice calls out, causing Rebecca’s steady steps to stumble.

“How can I face him? How can I tell him?” her mind anguished.

She found herself stopped in front of their large bay window, staring out into the street as her wonderful, loving boyfriend walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, not noticing how she flinched as he hands come to rest on top of her still soft stomach and planted a gentle kiss on her neck.

“How was your day?” he questioned, seemingly content with the picture of domestic bliss that they undoubtedly made, as he nuzzled his nose in between her shoulder blades.

“It was fine,” she murmured quietly, folding her arms around her chest.

Pope shifted, his nose gently brushing her ear as he twisted to look at her profile.

“What happened?”

What had happened? How could she answer that when every molecule in her body was seemingly at war with each other? When her heart was rejoicing but the tiniest voice in the back of her mind was throwing up red flags because they had never talked about this before and she had no clue how he was going to react? When every instinct inside of her was screaming ‘protect’ and every emotion was yelling ‘share’?

“I…I think we should sit.”

Pope felt his heart stutter but nodded as he gently led her to the couch. Was this the moment he had been dreading? Was this when karma kicked in and took away the best thing that had ever happened to him?

“Bex, please…” he kept his hand on her thigh as they settled next to each other on the leather couch. “Are you okay?” Hesitantly, she nodded, and Pope sighed with relief. “What’s going on, baby?”

She shifted slightly, pulling away from his hand and playing with her fingers in her lap. “Umm…you know how I haven’t been feeling great the past week or so?”

He nodded, leaning forward. “Yeah, did you go to the doctor today like I asked?”

He had had to beg her to go. She had insisted that it was just the flu, probably coupled with her oncoming period in the next couple of days. She usually felt like shit when that time of the month rolled around, but the constant vomiting had been new, so he had pleaded with her daily for the last four days to go to the doctor. In hindsight, she had been resistant because she had a sneaking suspicion, but, again, her instincts had been at war with each other.

“Yeah, I went…” It wasn’t until her breathing hitched and Santiago lifted his hand to brush away a tear that she even realized she was crying.

“Baby…” Rebecca looked up and met Santi’s dark eyes. She could read the fear reflected in them and it only made her feel worse. Her sweet, burdened man had fought a war, lost friends, and here she was, scaring him in the comfort of his own home.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted, wanting to see that worry washed away from his expression.

Instead, she saw the walls slam up in his eyes.

*******************************************************************************************

Pope had the unfortunate experience of being too close to an explosive as it detonated. He’d felt the shrapnel dig itself into his body, felt the heat burn his skin, but, for Pope, the worst part was the ringing in his ears. When the dull sound of tinnitus overtook everything. He’d had men, friends, best friends, screaming in his face but had been unable to hear them. The roar of the fire and the scream of bullets flying sounded like he was hearing them from deep underwater, Catfish could be hollering in his ear that they had to move, but he couldn’t make out the words.

“I’m pregnant…” Rebecca blurted, hesitantly glancing back and forth between his face and her lap.

Now, he was sure that she kept talking. Hell, he could see her lips moving. But the words…they weren’t reaching him. Everything was white noise, he was moving through water, the scar on the back of his neck started to burn.

One thing the military had taught Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia was how to listen to his instincts. He was a damn good leader, he had a loyal crew of men who depended on him and had his back, and that was partially because his instincts were usually pretty spot on. If that feeling in his gut told him to stop, they stopped. If it told him to run, he was dragging his team alongside him at a dead sprint. If it told him to shoot, he shot.

Now, his fight or flight was telling him one thing.

Pope rose from the couch, his eyes just skating past Rebecca’s panicked expression, his brain not really absorbing any new information, like how her lips were moving in a repetitive pattern.

“Santi…Pope…Santiago…Please…Santi…Pope…Santiago…Please…”

His ears were ringing, but his eyes knew her lips well enough to understand, even if that information wasn’t making it to his brain.

Wordlessly, emotionlessly, almost lifelessly, Pope paced to the front door, shrugged on his leather jacket, donned his sunglasses, pulled his keys out of his pocket.

Open the door. One step over the doorframe.

Turn.

Close the door. Lock it.

Five stairs. Fifteen paces.

Unlock car. Get in. Key in ignition. Seatbelt on.

Start car. Shift gears. Peddle on the right.

Drive.

Santiago had no destination in mind, no plan. For once, the man with a plan had no plan.

“I’m pregnant…”

He felt the whizz of a bullet flying by his cheek.

“I’m pregnant…”

The blood of a civilian spurted through his fingers as he tried to put pressure on the wound.

“I’m pregnant…”

The bodies of kids lined up outside of a village that had just been bombed, that they hadn’t gotten there in time to save.

“I’m pregnant…”

Every echo of Bex’s voice brought a new memory.

Car bombs exploding in Afghanistan.

The numerous deaths of innocent civilians in Iraq.

The countless executions of sicarios in Colombia by the police force.

Tom and the complete fuck up that he had led his friends into.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Pope looked down for a split second and saw Rebecca’s photo lighting up his screen.

It was a photo they had taken on the Fourth of July. He had taken her out to Will’s cabin out in the middle of the woods, deep enough that none of the seasoned veterans would be able to hear the fireworks exploding overhead. She had spider-monkeyed her way around him as he sat on a log next to the campfire, arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs around his waist, and chest pressed tightly up against his back, and when Benny had seen the way he had smiled at her over his shoulder, he had snapped the photo with his phone.

For a split second, Pope was torn. Did he cave to the guilt that was starting to gnaw at his gut and answer the phone? Did he shut his phone off so he wouldn’t have to hear the rattling sound in his cupholder? In the end, he did neither.

His instincts were driving him to continue down the road, and his heart wouldn’t let him shut off his phone, so he ignored it. He knew she would begin to panic if his phone sent her straight to voicemail but leaving it on allowed her the peace of mind to know that he would answer…eventually. When he was ready.

Pope didn’t pay any attention to his dashboard clock, nor did he pay any mind to the sun that was slowly crawling its way across the sky. He knew hours had passed, he knew that Bex was calling him every ten minutes or so, and he knew that the emptiness of the road and the repetitive hum of the tires below him was soothing his mind.

When his truck dinged, alerting him to the news that his truck had about ten miles left before it ran out of gas, he pulled over, stopped, and refilled the tank with what was left in his gas can before continuing.

He paid attention to the traffic and to the periodic buzzing of his phone, that was it.

Hours passed, his phone buzzing every ten minutes like clockwork until the sun hung low in the sky. Until his phone stopped buzzing.

At the first ten minute mark when his phone didn’t buzz and his and Bex’s smiling faces didn’t appear on his screen, approximately six hours into his drive and approximately around the time when Pope realized he had been driving in circles for at least the last four, he glanced down to make sure that his phone hadn’t died.

Ten minutes after that, he pulled onto a farm road, slowing to a stop on the side of the dirt road. His heart was racing as though he had been running for the past six hours, and he couldn’t understand why.

13 minutes after that, his phone came to life again, a pixelated likeness of Catfish’s face appearing in the dimming light of the sunset. Bex was in that photo too, Frankie pressing a kiss to her cheek while winking at Pope behind the camera.

Pope sighed and cleared his throat, hoping to convey a lightheartedness when he greeted, “Hey Fish, what’s goin’ on?”

Pope heard a screen door slam shut as Frankie growled, “Estúpido hijo de puta.”

Pope pulled the phone away from his ear, making sure it was actually Catfish calling and not some crank call. “Frankie?”

“Santi, do you want to tell me why I’m here with your hysterical girlfriend and you’re not?”

Pope felt his heart sink in his chest. “Fish, I—”

“Bex nearly gave me a goddamn heart attack when she called,” Frankie talked over him. “Sobbing so hard she couldn’t get the words out. I gunned it over to your place thinking you had been kidnapped or something, man. Had an SOS text ready to send to Benny and Will, only to find out that you had just left and you weren’t answering her calls. What the fuck, Pope?”

Pope stepped out of his truck and leaned back against the door, staring out at the reds and purples and golds of the sunset.

“…she’s pregnant, man.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And?” Pope wrenched himself away from the truck and began pacing up and down the abandoned stretch of road. “And I don’t know how the fuck to be a father! I don’t know how to raise a kid to be a benefit to society and not a colossal fuck up! After all the shit I’ve done, all the blood on my hands?” Pope took a shaky, shuddery breath, pressing the phone up to his forehead as he wished he could keep it together. He shouldn’t be saying anything. He should bury all the shit so deep down it never sees the light of day. He should, but it was also Frankie Morales he was talking to. His ride or die since day one. The guy who, no matter what was happening, always gave it to him straight. The brain behind Pope’s brawn.

“What gives me the right, Frankie?” Pope mumbled as he brought the phone back to his ear. “I’ve killed people…I’ve gotten people killed…I’ve let people die…That kid is gonna come into the world all innocent, take one look at me, and see a killer. H—How am I supposed to raise a kid when I can barely keep my own shit together half the time?”

The line was silent for a long time, and Pope helplessly dashed at the water that had pooled in his eyes.

“No sé cómo hacer esto, hermano,” he whispered.

Finally, he heard the telltale rasp of Frankie running his hand over his face. “Chill the fuck out, bro,” Frankie told him in a voice that somehow managed to be both soothing and commanding. “Holding that kid will be the best thing you ever do in your life. The only thing that makes all of the shit worth it.”

“But—”

“No buts, Pope. You wanna know how you’re gonna raise that kid? You’re not,” he said simply. “You and Bex are gonna raise that kid together. You’re gonna make mistakes, and screw up, and so will she, but as long as you’re there, and you love that kid hard, and you actually give a shit, then you’re gonna be leaps and bounds above half the dickheads out there that call themselves dads.” Pope squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that were threatening to roll down his cheeks. He didn’t know if Frankie knew that his partner and friend was tearing up in the middle of nowhere, but he also knew that Frankie (and Bex) were probably the only two people on the planet who wouldn’t give him shit for it.

He just couldn’t help it. Six hours ago, his world had exploded, and now Frankie was helping him put it together piece by painful piece. Worst of all was how badly Pope wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that the kid would make all the bullshit he had gone through worth it, but he didn’t dare imagine it. It was too good to be true. He was too broken, too beaten down to make a good father.

“Listen man,” Frankie grunted, and Pope’s keen ears picked up a shuffle in the background that told him Frankie had sat down somewhere. “I’ve got the same blood and shit on my hands that you do. Worse, even, if you consider that mess I got myself into without you. Does that make me a bad dad?”

Pope was already shaking his head. After the mess in Colombia, after Yovanna had decided that he wasn’t worth her time, Pope had come home and settled a few blocks over from where Frankie and his fiancée at the time (now his wife), Charlotte, had settled down. Pope had seen Frankie with his son, Mateo, more times than he could count.

“Frankie—”

“Exactly. And considering where my head was at when Charlie told me she had a bun in the oven, I shoulda been. I could’ve messed that kid up bad…I thought I would, but I didn’t.” Frankie sighed again, and Pope could visualize him scratching at his facial hair. “Santi, bringing that kid into the world is the only thing that’ll make up for all of the shit. Believe me.”

Because it was Frankie, his right-hand man, his best friend, Pope allowed himself to hope. He allowed himself to close his eyes and imagine it. A little baby nestled in his arms, curling up against his chest like he hadn’t killed countless people. Dark eyes looking up at him the way their mother looked at him, with love and kindness, like he didn’t have blood on his hands. A chance to do some good in the world, to bring some light into his life. A chance to raise a kid who could be better than he ever was. Who wouldn’t tear the world down in a storm of bullets and bombs, but maybe, just maybe, build it back up with smiles and love.

Pope choked back a sob. “Frankie, I fucked up.”

“Nah, hermano,” Frankie chuckled. “Your girl loves you. The only way you can fuck up now is if you don’t come home. Then, I’m morally obligated to hunt you down and castrate you.”

Pope chuckled a watery laugh as he climbed back into the cab of his truck. “I’m on my way now.”

“Good, my ass is getting cold from sitting on your front steps,” Frankie laughed.

Pope laughed again, a real laugh this time. “Go home, cabrón.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who has some major ass kissing to do, jackass.”

Pope waited as he could hear Frankie getting into his car. “Seriously, man. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, bro,” Pope heard Frankie’s car start in the background. “Just fix it.”

“I will.”

“Oh, and I call godfather!”

Pope laughed as he hung up and sped down the road. If he kept on this road and obeyed the speed limit, he could make it home in half an hour. He was determined to make it home in twenty.

*******************************************************************************************

It may have been the worst parking job Pope had ever done, with half the car parked on the grass, half on the asphalt, the back end blocking most of the sidewalk, and a few inches between his rear, driver’s side tire and the back end of Rebecca’s car, but he didn’t care. The jovial spirit that had overtaken him at the tail-end of his chat with Frankie had vanished as he got closer and closer to home. He needed to see his girl. He needed to make things right.

He waved as the lights on Frankie’s minivan flashed twice before pulling away from the curb across the street, grateful that his friend had stayed until he had gotten home, and jogged up to the front door, quietly unlocking it and stepping into the silent house.

The lights in the living room were off. As Pope stumbled over the jumble of shoes at the front door, he caught sight of the pile of tissues sitting on the coffee table and felt his heart sink and those tears he had been choking back fight their way up his throat again.

A dull light shone from behind the kitchen door, and Pope tentatively approached it, pressing gently at the swinging door to take a peek inside.

When he caught sight of her, his heart shattered inside his chest.

He’d always thought Rebecca was beautiful, from the second he had caught sight of her at the physiotherapy clinic. Drenched in sweat and red-faced, that had been his first impression of her, but her smile and the playful glint in her eyes had bewitched him in an instant.

He’d seen her dressed to the nines, looking like she’d stepped out of one of those fashion magazines that she kept in her bedside table. He’d seen her in sweats after a day of cleaning house. He’d seen her naked as the day she was born, whimpering and moaning as he painted her chest with his cum. She’d always been beautiful. Stunning, gorgeous.

Even now, Pope had to acknowledge the melancholic beauty that surrounded her. The remnants of tears that clung to her eyelashes, the blotchy red patches that stained her skin, the weariness that tugged her whole body down until she was slumped in her seat at the kitchen table, feet propped up in his seat, her phone just barely visible from where he stood, propped up against her bent legs, one elbow laid across her knees while the other arm was bearing the weight of her head, hand cushioned in the sleeve of her oversized white sweater.

“Baby…” he murmured, pushing his way into the kitchen and standing in the low light cast by the lamp in the center of the table.

It took her a moment, but she finally looked up, tears welling back up in her red-rimmed eyes as she gasped out a sob at the very sight of him.

Whatever had been holding Pope up until that point – call it stubbornness, call it pride, call it resolution – dissolved at that sob.

One step.

Two steps.

His knees hit the hardwood floor as he choked out a sob, tears finally spilling down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he cried as he buried his face into Rebecca’s thighs. “I’m so, so sorry…”

He didn’t know how long he knelt there, tears turning her pale blue jeans dark, pain radiating from his knees, up to his neck and throughout his limbs, voice growing hoarse as he repeated the words again and again and again.

Finally, finally, Pope felt that touch of grace as she slowly, gingerly raised her hand and began to carefully card it through his thick salt-and-pepper curls. Her touch of kindness only served to make him cry harder as he raised his head and gazed upon her tear-stained face.

“I’m so sorry, mi alma,” he rasped, shuffling forward until his forehead was pressed into her lower belly, where the life they had created together was just beginning to grow. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into the small band of skin that was revealed where her sweater had ridden up.

After what felt like hours, Pope stirred, slowly peeling himself off the floor to stand in front of her. With a hopeful look in his eyes, he extended his hand to her and prayed to a god he wasn’t sure he believed in that she would take it.

*******************************************************************************************

Rebecca eyed his extended hand suspiciously. Part of her wanted to slap it away, scream at him for the anguish he had put her through the past few hours, and make him sleep on the couch until the baby was born. But the other part of her, the part that could see the tremor in his arms and legs as he stood there and the pleading look in his eyes and the deep lines that were etched in his forehead, that part of her coaxed her into gently unfolding from her curled up position and taking his hand.

Gently, Santiago helped her to her feet and led her out of the kitchen, down the hall and into their bedroom. She stood there in the doorway as he moved around the room, dropping his black t-shirt and dark jeans into the hamper, placing his watch on his nightstand, and plugging his phone into the charger, until he stopped by her side of the bed, tugging the covers down and looking at her with that same pleading gaze.

Slowly, hesitantly, she followed his lead, stripping down to her bra and panties and sliding under the covers that he was holding up for her. In a flash, Santiago slid into his side of the bed and pulled her tightly to him, her back to his chest with one of his hands gently cradling her still flat belly.

As he pressed a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder, she couldn’t help the shuddery, teary gasp of that one word that had been at the forefront of her mind since he had shut the door in her face and locked it behind him: “Why?”

Rebecca heard him sigh, a long, weary breath out that spoke of exhaustion and trauma.

“When you told me…everything just kind of shut down. All I could think of was to protect.”

“Protect who?”

She felt him shrug. “Protect myself. Protect you from me and all my bullshit. Protect the baby from the fuck up they have as a father.”

“Santi…” she whispered mournfully. “You know I don’t—”

“I know,” he interjected before clearing his throat. “It’s just…I’ve done some really bad things in my life, Bex. I’m not a good person,” he continued in a whisper. “You know some of the stuff that I’ve done, but most of it is so classified I doubt I’ll ever be allowed to talk about it. And I don’t want to. I don’t want you to ever hear about it. So, when you told me we were having a baby, my mind just kind of shut down. All I could think of was how many people I’ve killed; how much blood is on my hands.”

He trailed off as a dark silence loomed over the room.

“You scared me…” she finally whispered.

He chuckled darkly as he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I scared myself,” he admitted. “I just…I couldn’t imagine how any good could come out of this. I…” he paused, and Rebecca rolled over to face him, watching his Adam’s apple work in his throat. “I don’t deserve to be a dad, Bex.”

She nodded, tears springing to her eyes again at his admittance. She wished he could see what she saw. He was good with kids. So good with them. Watching him with Frankie’s son Mateo was one of the most adorable sights she had ever seen. He would be such a good father. But…she couldn’t force it on him. She knew he had baggage, knew it when she met him, but things had been so good between them that she had hoped they would be okay.

“I…uh, I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to do, Santi,” she murmured, desperately trying to keep the tears out of her voice. “You can be as involved or—”

“Oh baby, no. No, no, shh…” he pulled her into his chest, banding his arms tightly around her back until her head was nestled into his shoulder and his face was buried in her hair. “I’m gonna be better, okay? I swear to god, I’m gonna be better for you and this kid. I called Will on the drive home, and he’s gonna help me find a group to talk to about all this. I can’t promise it won’t happen again but I’m gonna fight as hard as I can to be there for you one hundred percent.” He peeled his face away from her neck and angled himself to look directly into her eyes, their noses almost touching. “I’ll read all the parenting books and go to any and all classes you sign us up for. I’m gonna be there for every appointment. I’ll learn how to give massages if you need me to rub your feet or your back, and I’ll go out for any cravings you might have, even if I have to drive all the way across town at 3 o’clock in the morning.” Tears began pooling in her eyes again, except this time there was a small smile on her face. “When the baby comes, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. You can break my hand if you need to during labor. If you want it to just be us, it’ll just be us. If you want a whole damn camera crew there to document the whole thing, I’ll make it happen.” He pulled her closer and cupped her face in his hands. “I’m gonna get a good job, baby. No more side jobs, no more private sector. I’ll take whatever 9 to 5 I can find to help take care of us. Hell, I’ll take two jobs if you want to be a stay at home mom. Or, if you want, I’ll stay at home with the kid. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

Finally, Rebecca laughed as happy tears streamed down her face. “You’re rambling, babe.”

Pope laughed too, a happy, relieved sound as he pressed his lips to hers for the first time that evening. “I know, I know,” he whispered, wiping her tears away with his fingertips. “I just need you to know that I’m all in. Whatever you want, whatever you need. Whatever this kid needs. I’m here. I’m gonna be a dick sometimes, and I’m gonna make mistakes, and I’m gonna be so far out of my league between you and this kid, but I’m gonna be here. I swear to god.”

Rebecca giggled, pulling her hand from his chest to play with the grey baby curls at the back of his neck. “That’s all we need,” she whispered as she pulled him closer to plant a sweet, loving kiss on his lips. She pulled back and ran a fond hand over his cheek. “Just promise me, next time this happens, you let me know. Just a word or a gesture or something?”

Pope nodded, ashamed of his actions. He was always the first to go in, guns blazing, no thought to his own safety if it meant protecting his team. But the second he found out about the baby, he had left his most important teammate behind to fend for herself.

“I promise, baby. And I’m so sorry…” he nuzzled into her cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to her dimple.

She smiled at him as she rolled over and rested her head on his bicep. “We’re gonna be okay, babe,” she yawned, her eyes drifting closed after the emotional day she had had.

Pope nestled in behind her, not leaving an inch of space between them. Lying there, happy with the woman he loved in his arms, Pope took a deep breath and allowed himself to drift off, her words echoing in his mind. They would be okay. He’d make sure of it.

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Tags List: @darksideofclarke, @writefightandflightclub, @eternallyvenus, @rae-rae-patcha

#santiago pope garcia x oc #santiago pope garcia #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfic #oscar issac #fanfic

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authoressskr · 5 years

Text

Howlite and Hearts

Characters: f!Reader, Melanie (OFC), Tania (OFC), James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, James Rhodes

Warnings: Language and no Beta :: Word Count: 8,465

This was written for @moonbeambucky’s 5k Writing Challenge!! I went with a dragon!soulmate!au, which I hadn’t seen before, but I did have a nifty dream about it that spawned this whole idea. He’s still an Avenger. Events are basically still the same, just with dragons. ‘Cause who wouldn’t love a dragon companion??

Prompt: “You said you would come back for me.” Bolded in text below.

Please do NOT repost, copy & paste, post or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS PERMISSION.

-+- REBLOGGING is fine and very appreciated! -+-

Since men emerged from caves, began using tools and reshaping their environment, they have been intrigued by the draconian terrors of all shapes and sizes that roamed the world. The first records of man and dragon working together are from Mesopotamia, pieces of shattered pottery pieced back together showing a dragon standing beside a woman. Assyrian artifacts depict water dragons helping farmers in the field. Egyptian murals show dragons protecting the Pharaoh and his family, others showing different breeds of dragon fetching books from inside the Library of Alexandria.

History is dotted with famous dragons and their bonded humans; King Arthur and his steel-colored dragon, Excalibur. William Shakespeare and his dragon, Bard. Cleopatra and Bucephalus, named after Alexander the Great’s legendary steed. Abraham Lincoln and his dragon, Crusoe.

Over the centuries, dragons have become smaller from the giants painted in mythology, old texts and wall murals. The biggest dragon these days are about the size of a large crocodile, with the biggest recorded in the last decade almost as big as a hippo. Height varies on the type of dragon - with the tallest one balancing on its tail, hits almost eye level with a giraffe.

Classes have been taught for centuries about dragons and the bond between them with humans. Dragons will sometimes die right after their human counterpart and vice versa. Dragons who have lost their counterpart will sometimes live, seeking out their counterpart’s soulmate to stay with their draconian mates as well. It is not an uncommon thing - especially after times of war - for soulmates to have both dragons if one has died.

Dragon pairs will usually have the same colors and markings, even though they will often not be the same type of dragon. Dragons may look similar to the human eye, but a dragon will know it’s mate no matter what. It has not been determined how the dragons know their mate almost instantaneously, but after millennia humans have begun to follow the dragon counterpart’s knowledge in this area. Marriages of alliance and royalty have often been changed or dropped when one party finds its soulmate. In the same vein, marriages have also been arranged due to this circumstance as well. Cinderella is the most referenced fairy tale of this, with Cinderella having the same sapphire and gold colored dragon as the prince (*Dragon color varies by region and culture).

With the reemergence of Captain America and his dragon, it has helped scientists and theorists who now believe that the dragon and human bond is stronger than initially thought. Steve Rogers, known as Captain America, and his dragon Rak, were frozen for nearly 70 years and both proved to be in perfect health with an unbroken bond after thawing from the ice. Several theorists are pointing to a pieced together story found in Egypt about a man who was thought to be dead during a war, his dragon dying alongside - only for the pair to wander through the desert for nearly two years before arriving in Constantinople. The pair nearly died of dehydration several times but emerged with a stronger bond than before. The man claimed to the writer that it seemed as if after his trouble, he and his dragon experienced more than an emotional bond. It was as if they were linked in their minds and hearts. Whatever the case, it seems as if the bond between human and dragon is strong, it can always be strengthened. The only bond that is stronger - most noted and pointed out - is that of a matched pair with both dragon and human with their mates, protecting each other.

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You slide into the restaurant’s plush booth, smiling across the table at your best friend of nearly 13 years as you toss your purse further onto the bench.

“How was work?” You ask as you settle in, your dragon climbing from the inside of your jacket where she’d been resting earlier to drape her long body over your shoulders while your soulmate’s dragon settles his bulk over your feet under the table, his tail curling around your leg.

“Awesome. Matt finally asked me out.”

“Ooh! Congrats! When are you two supposed to go out?”

“Saturday!”

“Nice.” Your conversation pauses as the waitress appears, cheerfully asking for your drink order as a little yellow head pops out of her apron pocket.

“Iced tea and water, please.” You request, fingers coming up to scratch under Cloud’s chin.

“Gin and tonic, please. And water, as well. Thank you.” The waitress bounces off, high ponytail bouncing. Mel leaning a bit forward with a grin. “We could double date.” A deep growl sounds from under the table, making you chuckle.

“Godzilla says no.” Mel frowns at the table before shifting her brown eyes back to you. “He’s a good boy,” You coo before continuing. “He’s just keeping an eye on me until we’re reunited with my soulmate.”

“You gotta stop letting him do that. And you can’t reunite with someone you’ve never met.” Mel mutters as the waitress arrives with your drinks. You both thank her as she withdraws her pen from her apron, causing her little dragon’s yellow head to pop from the black apron pocket again.

“What can I get you ladies?”

“May I get the alfredo with chicken and mushrooms, please?”

“Side salad or soup?”

“Salad. Italian dressing please.”

“Of course! And you?”

“Shrimp carbonara. And a side salad for me as well. Ranch. Thanks.”

“I’ll get that out in a jiff!”

“Semantics. He and I will finally meet. Godzilla will be reunited.” Stroking his lifted head under the table a few times before he settles back into place again.

“Did your time off get approved?” Mel switches the subject before taking a hearty sip of her gin and tonic, both of you thanking the waitress as she sets your salads down before bouncing off again with a big smile. Melanie’s long serpentine jade dragon slithers from her purse, using a little flap of its peacock-colored wings to get it to the tabletop and chirps until Melanie surrenders all her croutons to him. “Bread thief.” She mutters as it chomps happily away.

“Yep!” You mutter cheerfully around a mouthful of greens. “Two freakin’ weeks! Soooo happy and ready for this road trip.”

“Model employee, you are.”

“Thank you for that high praise, Yoda.”

“When I finish this salad, I’ll dig out my proposed itinerary outline for the trip. I’m already so excited! Five days and we’ll be on vacation!” She does a happy little wiggle, Linus mimicking her with his little jade body. You both giggle at his antics.

“Did Tania get off? I text her on Monday and she said it was ‘Pending’ in the system.”

“Yeah, she texted me yesterday morning to say she got it off. But her brother’s wedding is on Saturday. In Dallas. So she’ll fly out late Sunday afternoon so we can all start out from San Fran on Monday.”

“Keep her hydrated Sunday night. Got it.” Your bouncy waitress reappears to whisk the salad plates away, promising the food will be out in just a few minutes. Godzilla’s heavy tail thumps against your leg and the booth, making you grin at your chunky boy. “Is Chinatown on your itinerary?”

“I keep forgetting you’ve never been there before…” She digs her little notebook from her purse and hands it across the table to you. “I’ll add it to the couple of days when we come back.” Cloud nudges at your jaw as you read through the daily logs.

“I like it. Taking our time everywhere. Plenty of adventure and time out for the fluffernuggets.”

“You call them by the weirdest names...” Mel mutters with a big smile as the food arrives, thanking the waitress before you take a long drink of your tea.

“They love them.” You take a couple pieces of chicken and pass it under the table, Godzilla happily chomping as you pass a piece to Cloud. “And jealousy is an ugly thing, Mel.” She passes a piece of shrimp to Linus, his little fingers on his wingtips holding onto the shrimp to tear it two.

“Uh huh. Sure.”

“So, what are you gonna wear on -” An older couple walks by, the woman tutting as she sees Godzilla’s tail under the table. You can see her counting and mentally steel yourself.

“Three.” She mutters loudly to her husband, who gives a solemn nod and steers her away. You feel a hand on top of yours, a gentle squeeze making you turn your attention back to your food.

“She’s just an old hag who doesn’t know anything.” You nod.

“She just really brought down my happy mood.”

“Then we’ll a couple drinks and go to that bookstore you like.”

“You always know the right thing to say to me.” She snorts, making you grin at your oldest friend.

“I should fucking hope so by now, honey.”

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Bucky and Sam sit on the patio closest to the hanger, playing poker when Steve comes around the corner, tapping on his phone.

“How’s it going today guys? Missed our morning run.” He leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk.

“We stayed up drinking loooong after you left last night.” Sam chuckles out, throwing a card down and picking up another.

“Alcohol doesn’t affect Bucky.”

“I slept in and didn’t drag my ass out of bed that early in solidarity.” Steve snorts but nods.

“Yeah. Okay, pal. Keep lyin’ to yourself.”

“I can and I will,” Bucky replies, using his vibranium hand to scratch the scruff on his jaw with a lazy grin plastered on his face.

“Hey, guys! Uh, I mean Mr. Rogers, sir. And Mr. Barnes. And, um, Mr. Wilson.”

“You don’t have to -” Steve starts, shaking his head at Peter’s formality.

“Nah, I think I like being addressed as Mr. Barnes.”

“Just stick to first names, kid.” Sam orders, tossing down another card and making a face at Bucky.

“Right. I can do that. Mr. Stark asked me to come and get you,” Steve pushes off the wall. “Mr. Barnes. Uh, Bucky, sir.”

“Okay.” Bucky grins before laying his cards on the table. “I win. You’re cookin’ me breakfast for the rest of the week.”

“Damnit.” Sam curses as he tosses his cards onto the table.

“See you all in a bit. Lead the way, kid.” Peter leads Bucky down to the lab he built for Bruce, the two farthest walls projecting documents and a few pictures of the West Coast of the United States. Bucky carefully scans the walls as Peter eagerly announces Bucky’s arrival.

“Ah, Barnes. Just the man I sent the kid for.” Tony comes around a table and points to the documents on the left wall. “What do you see?”

“Intel on a Hydra base by the Washington/Canada border. You think it’s active?”

“I wouldn’t have. Except for this morning, the power kicked on there.” Bruce comes into the room behind Bucky, pointing to the map as Tony zooms in on the border.

“We only know this because Fury cleared that particular base after he became director. He set up sensors to alert S.H.I.E.L.D. to any unwanted visitors.”

“And I hijacked all their sensors, systems and alerts,” Tony add smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So you want me to go scout it?”

“No, I’ve sent a suit to go do some recon. I want to know everything you know about this base… Anything they might’ve had there. Any reasons you can think of to why they’d attempt a reactivation there.” Bucky gives a little sigh before he walks up to the wall, flipping through each piece of intelligence information, racking his mind for any and all information he possessed on that base.

“Smuggling arms from Russia would be my best first guess...my second would be the terrible answer of human trafficking.” He then begins to explain the ins and out of the base, what he remembers being at the base and some of the areas they used for experimentation there.

“Jeez.” Bruce exhales loudly before rubbing a hand over his face, his dragon lifting its head from the chair in the corner, looking quizzically from Bruce to Bucky. Tony taps his fingers on the tabletop across from Bruce, thinking.

“Okay. We’ll wait for the suit to report back before alerting the rest of the team.” Bucky nods, casting an envious glance towards Bruce’s now sleeping dragon. The quick look makes Tony’s stance soften a little, something unnoticed by Bucky as he turns to leave. “Wait.” Bucky turns himself back around. “I’ve been scanning for a dragon that matches your descriptions and archival photos.” Tony has a ghost of a smile dancing in his eyes as he drops this bomb on him.

“That’s why you don’t have a dragon?” Peter pipes up from the other side of Bruce.

“Mine didn’t go into the ice with me like Steve’s. He probably ran away from the base when I fell from the train...I don’t think Howl has survived to now.”

“And you couldn’t have survived a fall from a train. Steve couldn’t have survived the ice-cold grip of the Arctic.” He leans his butt against the table he’d just been tapping on, arms crossed over his chest with a smile. “Yet here we are, Barnes.”

Bucky clenches and unclenches his jaw, fear curling in his gut at the question he’s about to ask.

“Did you find anything?”

“Got two hits so far.” Bucky’s heart stutters in his chest. “One in Scotland, the other in California.” Tony gives a sly smile as Bucky gives a firm nod, turning to leave with his human hand clenched tight.

“Hydra first.” He manages to grit out before opening the door, ready to escape to the woods just outside the base to get his thoughts straightened out.

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“Portland here we come!” Tania yells as you start the rental car, making you laugh as you pull onto the road, heading to the freeway entrance.

“I can’t believe it’s been two months since all three of us have been together!” You say excitedly as you merge onto the freeway - officially starting your road trip to Portland.

“Two months too long!” Mel yells from the second row.

“So, Tania, you gotta fill us in on your brother’s wedding!”

“Ugh. Ultra small. They just had her immediate family and our immediate family plus, like, his two idiot best friends and her best friend.” She pauses, shoving a handful of thick black curls away from her lovely face. “Beautiful though.” She sighs out with a small smile on her face. “Almost exactly the colors I’d like to do for my wedding one day; light blue and black, with silver accents. Dinner was delicious! Whew! Glad I wasn’t interested in getting laid, cause all that food was too good to pass up.” Mel nearly snorts behind you as Tania continues. “A nice long dinner, some light dancing and a few rounds of shots between siblings and friends. Then I got to tuck myself into a plush hotel room, watch ‘The Wedding Date’ and nod off to sleep.”

“I think that’s the least stressful wedding you’ve ever told us about.” You remark with a quick look at Tania.

“That’s cause this is my oldest brother. Typical big bro. Looking out for everyone else. Dated Katherine for like 3 years before he popped the question. He thinks everything through. Unlike my younger brothers. Those two are idiots.”

“Hot idiots.” Mel pipes up from the back as you and Tania make faces.

“Nope. Nope. Nope.” Tania says seriously before half turning in her seat. “So, how did your date with Matt go?”

“All he wanted to talk about was work and who I thought was going to get the new promotion...How he was waiting for his soulmate after three bad relationships. Total bust.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Need me to find a coffee shop before we officially head out of town?”

“Nah, she ordered a dessert to go at her busted dinner and I’ve bought her like four cups of coffee since yesterday.” You interject, watching Mel’s face break out in a big smile in the rearview mirror. Tania’s dragon slips from the folded down third row up to the front, crawling into her lap and sticking its head out the window, the soft black hair on its head and back twisting and turning in the breeze.

“Our first stop?” Tania asks Mel, stroking a hand over Falkor’s black wispy hair.

“Wherever you want it to be.” Mel grins out, brown eyes meeting yours in the rearview.

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It was about two hours down the line before Linus began chirping and growling, so you pulled over at a roadside area and let all the dragons out to go the bathroom and explore. You stake out a nice shaded bench to watch the four dragons play with a pair of Golden Retrievers. Dragons tended to love cats and dogs, and this was also a good chance for them to get out some of that pent up energy.

Tania demands a few selfies set against the coastline views and you suggest one with the dragons rolling around with the dogs, making you all laugh. After nearly fifteen minutes, you wander over to the middle-aged couple with the dogs, introducing yourself and thanking them for letting their dogs wear out your dragons. A few pleasantries and a loud goodbye, followed by some pets for Thelma and Louise, you herd the dragons up the hill to the bench for some water and a few snacks.

“That was a workout for everyone.” Mel chuckles, patting your back as you all head back to the SUV.

“Laugh it up. Next time wrangling is up to you, Melanie.” She just laughs as you climb back into the driver seat.

“Next stop, Fort Bragg.” Mel pipes up, holding her cell phone up for Tania to see.

Luckily, it only takes another two hours to get to Fort Bragg and the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens, where Mel had mapped out your first official stop on the road trip.

After admission and grabbing some lunch at Rhody’s Garden Cafe, getting a bowl of clam chowder in a bread bowl and two lamb gyros for Godzilla and Cloud. You give Godzilla a whole one and carefully cut the other into thirds. You give a third to Cloud, putting a travel dish of water between the two before digging into your lunch. Tania joins you next, Falkor perched on her shoulder and eyeballing the two smoked tempeh gyros on her tray with glee. Mel is the last to join with a bowl of tomato basil bisque, a side salad and a lamb gyro for Linus. You discuss the flora and fauna already surrounding you, the faint scent of the ocean blowing through a few times while you all enjoyed lunch.

Forty-five minutes later you’re looking out over the Pacific Ocean, eyes closed at the serenity of it all; Godzilla pressed against your left leg while Cloud is curled around your neck. You knew your soulmate couldn’t feel the contentedness you felt, but you hoped he could.

That was the same thought you had as you laid curled up in the king-sized bed later that night with Mel hogging the covers on the other side.

I hope wherever you are, you’re safe and know that we miss you and want to meet you, soulmate.

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“Suit came back negative.” Tony points to the screen running the video in the Debriefing Room. “No human traces. Followed the electrical lines back to the main breakers and … nada.”

“Nothing at all? Then who turned the power back on?”

“Still don’t know. There were no fingerprints on the breaker boxes or on the doors to and from that area. The only sign anyone had been there at all was in the semi-buried loading dock to the west of the actual facility’s blueprints.”

“So what’s the plan?” Wanda asks, looking from the footage to Tony.

“I think we should all go there. Clean out whatever S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t and then inspect that buried loading dock.”

“All of us?” Rhodey repeats, leaning back in his seat, trying to ignore Peter’s too excited looking eyes.

“Well, most of us. Leave the broken ribs twins here and Banner, of course. Vision and Rhodey will cover the outside, Steve and Wanda will go to the secret loading dock while Bucky and Sam locate wherever the loading dock’s exit should have been. I’ll recheck the systems, download all the information - if S.H.I.E.L.D left any on the servers - and I’ll call in Rhodey to do the heavy lifting, if need be, of machinery or files we locate.”

“When do we leave?”

“First thing in the morning. Better light for the Tin Man and Birdboy to search in.”

“So considerate,” Sam mutters loudly, rolling his eyes as he looks at Steve.

“Rest up team.” Steve dismisses everyone, Bucky still sitting in his chair, staring at the screen without really seeing it. Steve’s brow furrows, leaning forward in his own chair. “You okay, Buck?”

“Tony tell you he thinks he might’ve found my dragon?” Steve’s jaw drops open. “Guess not.” His entire face changes, his blue eyes lighting up and a smile growing.

“That’s great!” When Bucky doesn’t react except a nod, Steve’s dragon flits from his perch on the back of his chair to land before Bucky, letting a high pitched squeal out until Bucky offers him his hand. The ruby-colored wyvern scampers up his arm until it is able to nuzzle under his jaw.

“Thanks, Rak.”

“Don’t get too excited, Buck.” Steve snarks out, pursing his lips before leaning back in his chair.

“It’s just a lot to deal with. I thought he was dead...I thought I would just be alone, ya know?”

“You don’t gotta be alone now though. You’ll get Howl back.”

“Tony said a woman had him.”

“Your soulmate.” Steve’s breath out so reverently it sent shivers down Bucky’s back. Bucky rubs a hand tiredly over his face.

“I guess.”

“But you hope not.” He clenches his jaw before shaking his head at his best friend. “Jesus, Bucky.”

“I know, Steve. You act like I don’t fucking know.” Rak tugs sharply at a piece of Bucky’s hair at the tense air between the two men, hissing loudly when he drops his hair. Bucky turns to glare at the dragon. “Listen here, pipsqueak, I don’t need it from you too.” Rak blows a little puff of smoke at Bucky before launching off his shoulder to flit out of the room. “Stevie...it’s just a lot. All of a sudden. I mean, damn, there is no easing into it either. Tony just fucking laid it on me this afternoon and -”

“It’s all you can think of now. I get it - trust me Buck - but I wish I was in your shoes.”

“Still different shoes, Steve.”

“Shuri worked with you. You got a good therapist now. Don’t have as many nightmares or sleepless nights...I don’t see why you think you wouldn’t or don’t deserve a soulmate. You’re one of the best people I know, Bucky. Then and now.”

Bucky just sighs again, dropping his head into his hands and tugging on the long strands with frustration.

“It’s not that I’m not excited.” He begins softly. “It’s just that the cons right now outweigh the pros.”

“How exactly?”

“I am a formerly wanted Hydra assassin.”

“They cleared you of all charges against the Vienna bombing. They cleared you for helping me and the guys against Tony. But go on, drama queen.” Bucky raises his head and rolls his eyes at Steve.

“And it’s go off, Steve. I’m over a hundred fucking years old.”

“So am I. We look like we are in our thirties. Maybe she likes older men.” Bucky scoffs at his best friend’s smile.

“I haven’t seen Howl in seventy plus years.”

“Rak and I were in the ice for nearly that long. The bond doesn’t lessen by circumstances or distance. You two are a pair.”

“Alright, we both know someone else came up with that.”

“Coulson,” Steve admits with a rueful smile. “Words are still true.” Bucky rubs his hand over his face again with a sigh.

“Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess we’ll find out after this mission.”

“I guess we will, pal. And apologize to Rak. He didn’t do anything to you, you bully.” Bucky and Steve both push themselves up from their chairs, making their way from the room.

“I’ll give him some pepperjack. You know he loves his cheese.”

“No more cheese! You aren’t the one who has to sleep with the little gas ball.”

“RAK!! CHEESE!” Bucky yells as he takes off for the kitchen, the little ruby dragon running to catch up at top speed behind the supersoldier as Steve shakes his head.

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You were all up just before sunrise, walking down the abandoned Glass Beach. Tania had been up the night before, googling things to do in Trinidad when she’d stumbled upon an article about the sea glass remains in Fort Bragg. And honestly? What’s better than an empty beach in the morning with your best friends and your dragons happily bringing you seashells, pieces of driftwood and harassing seagulls? Not much.

After an hour or so on the beach, you all make the quick trek back towards town for a large breakfast, where Godzilla swallowed a whole plate of eggs and sausage before looking up at you with big sapphire eyes. You’d given in - you nearly always do - and given him a piece of your toast and Mel had given him one of her pancakes.

“Chunker.” You mutter around a sausage link, giving the other half to Cloud as Godzilla amps up the begging eyes. You don’t give in this time. But Tania does - giving him the last bit of her omelet.

Forty-five minutes later, you’re all headed towards Trinidad. It’s an almost three-hour drive, beautiful and hugged quite close to the coastline. The windows are down and the music is up, with the sea air swirling around the cab.

You arrive, everyone tying on their tennis shoes to trek out to look at the enormous redwood trees that California is known for. You snap a few pictures as Godzilla attempts to follow Cloud and Linus up a Redwood, but his little glider wings aren’t as helpful as they should be. He turns those big blue eyes up at you, with Falkor perched on his back, both looking so sad.

“Oh, Lord.” You mutter as you bend over, “Okay, you gotta help.” His head bobs eagerly before you heft Zilla up, letting his claws lightly dig into the tree to help claw Falkor and himself up. Once he gets above your head, he manages another twenty feet or so before launching off the tree and gliding back down to the forest floor. His little teeth are barely seen in what you have come to learn is his smug smile. “Yes, you did amazing. Glad to be of help.”

You refuse to help him up a bigger tree, so he begins climbing every fallen one you all come across until Mel taps out about a half hour later. You all get back to the SUV, then find a place for lunch before continuing on into Oregon. A quick stop at the state line for a photo op and letting the dragons wander around for about fifteen minutes, Tania gives a sharp whistle to round them up so you can continue on your way.

You get just past Selma when a huge rainstorm blows in. It takes an hour and a half extra to get to the next town of Wilderville. Then have to go another 9 miles to get to the nearest hotel. Mel ran out to get some late lunch/early dinner since the rain wasn’t letting up at all.

An old Godzilla movie is on, Zilla swinging his tail excitedly when he hears Godzilla’s roar through the tv, imitating him happily in his deeper tones.

“That’s why you call him that?” You shrug at Tania’s question, chuckling at all the dragons watch Godzilla battle King Ghidorah enraptured.

“My mom just always called him that. She said cause they both got cankles.”

“They do!” She squeals, withdrawing her pajamas from her luggage. A drenched Mel struggles in a handful of minutes later. She stopped at the little grocery store, getting a small pack of tea bags, some honey, and a little tray of sausages and cold cuts for the scalies. Fried chicken and some salad for you three as you look up how long the storm should last and if there are any road delays ahead.

“So, after tonight do we go to Cannon Beach or Astoria? We all know which I prefer.”

“Yeah, Y/N we know you’d rather go to Astoria.”

“HEY, YOU GUYS!” You shout happily in reply.

“Well, I think Astoria would be good too. There are trails - providing it’s not too wet after this storm - plus museums, cute little shops downtown, antique stores, Lewis and Clark National Historic Park and a waterfall. That’s not including the Goonie house, which we’ll go see for Y/N.”

“Okay, so if it’s mostly clear by like, I don’t know, 5 am then I say we head out for Astoria then. My only thing is that we are kind of off the path Mel first planned. Do we head to Bandon then up to Astoria? Cause it says,” You withdraw your copy of her itinerary. “That it’s about 5 hours from Bandon to Astoria. And right now, it’s almost 3 hours to get back on Highway 1. We could do 8 hours, provided we stop enough to stretch our legs and let out the fluffernuggets.”

“I say we do the 3 hours to get us back to Bandon. Then the next day we’ll head to Astoria. When we are done in Astoria, we’ll head to Portland to grab a hotel for the night and explore it the next day. We aren’t in a rush.”

“That’s right,” As you nod in agreement with Tania, Mel continues. “This is only day two.”

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“Found anything?” Sam’s voice comes in through his earpiece, giving a little grunt as he shoved a part of a fallen tree out of his way.

“Looks like the exit. Covered in moss, leaves and a few fallen tree trunks that must have rolled partially down here. I’m about a click away from where we started.”

“Finally! Two damn days of looking...all this green blurring together. I’ll be there in a few seconds to help.” Bucky tears at the moss and vines around another trunk as he grunts out an “Okay” over the comm before Steve’s voice replaces Sam’s.

“Rhodey, Tony, Wanda and Vision are inside now, so I’m coming out to help you and Sam.”

“Gotcha,” Bucky replies, straightening up with a groan. “I got two trunks out of the way, but the last one is massive...I think the wall is behind it, and we should be able to follow the wall to the collapsed exit.”

“Roger that, Tin Man,” Tony confirms. “The last of the debris is nearly clear on this side. Wanda waved most of it away after we did the heavy lifting.”

“Right. Yes, that was exactly what happened...” Wanda’s voice is heavy on the sarcasm, making Bucky grin.

It’s nearly an hour later that Bucky and Steve manage to dislodge the trunk enough to comfortably get behind it to search the moss-riddled wall. Sam has Redwing searching along what they think is the wall, while Rak and Blackbird - Sam’s onyx little dragon - scramble along the base of the wall.

“Anything yet, Stark?” Bucky settles himself on the large log, fingers sliding into his damp locks and tying them back while they wait for Tony’s reply.

“Well, I haven’t found a secret door yet…”

“What Tony means is: yes Steve - we’ve found a mangled wall panel. Looks like it was smashed.” Bucky snorts at Wanda’s continued sass.

“I am working to fix the panel. Tony has gone back to divert the power to this end of the base.” Vision’s voice fills the comms just before they all hear a loud crack.

A rumble from the stone looking metal door shakes the ground around them as it attempts to roll itself up. By the time Tony makes it back to the dock, the door has managed to heft itself halfway up. Bucky eyes the door warily. He’s seen Indiana Jones...

“I hope we didn’t just do all the hard work for the bad guys,” Sam mutters as Rhodey, Vision, Wanda and Tony all join them carefully on the forest side of the door.

“We should blow it up,” Bucky remarks, Rak crawling up his pants and tact vest to settle on his shoulder. “That way we’re sure. The base is empty - all that’s left in there is old medical equipment I wouldn’t let anyone use, some desks and some chairs. We blow it up and then we just set up surveillance around the base and around Portland.”

Rhodey huffs out a breath in tandem with his dark emerald dragon, looking from Tony to Steve.

“I agree with Bucky, man. We get rid of the base then we get rid of the lure of any fractured HYDRA factions. Then we head to Portland for some delicious food at Proud Mary Cafe.”

Tony gestures at Rhodey, “Is that the place with the crab omelet?”

“Yep.” Bucky’s mouth waters a little at the mention of an omelet, only have a couple power bars since they’d started this morning. Portland sounds delicious at this point.

“Damn, that was almost decadent. Okay, I’m sold on Portland.” Steve rolls his eyes, making Tony smirk as his crimson and amber dragon clamors up his armor.

“We have gotten all files that were left behind. As well as documenting the whole base. We have no need for it if we are not going to occupy it.” Vision redirects the conversation back to the base. “And surveillance along the way, from here to Portland, would be excellent to execute for further knowledge on any HYDRA or other evil entities in the area. As Bucky and Rhodey have stated.” Bucky nods as he pulls a little leftover piece of jerky from his vest to give to Rak, who lets out a happy trill before Wanda reaches over to scratch the top of his head.

“Alright - you heard the Tin Men! Let’s blow her up.” He gestures back towards the half-open door. “Rhodey?”

“Tones, man, I’m gonna buy you a whole tableful of those omelets.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Jesus. Are we like that?” Bucky mutters to Steve, smiling as Rhodey selects his weapon.

“Worse,” Sam mutters from Bucky’s left, making Steve and himself chuckle before they all head back up the hill in an effort to avoid most of the dust and debris.

“Jealousy is an ugly thing, Sam!” Bucky calls out as Sam and Wanda rise into the air, both of them sporting big grins before Rhodey launches into his destruction of the base.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“I’ve never had such pretty looking pizza!” Tania exclaims as it’s laid on the table, Godzilla’s tail thumping excitedly against your leg under the booth.

“Edible flowers and mushrooms? Ick.” Mel makes a face before picking up a piece of her fennel sausage pizza before picking up her fork and spearing a piece of the pansotti pasta to give to Linus.

“Well, we can have breakfast wherever you want.” You placate before handing a slice under the table before picking up a piece for yourself. You only got two bites in before Cloud drags it from your hand to devour it by your wine glass. “Apparently I am too slow for you, scaly.” Taking a healthy sip of your wine, you look across the table at Tania. “I saw a flag when we were walking earlier for the Portland Japanese Garden. We should check that out. The dragons like it when they can roam. Looks serene too.”

“As long as I don’t gotta hike, I’m golden with whatever,” Melanie mutters around another piece before handing one under the table for Zilla.

“If we do the Lan Su Chinese Garden, it has a teahouse!”

“Ooh, that sounds nifty Tania!”

“There’s also Powell’s City of Books. An entire city block worth of books.” Mel smiles over the rim of her glass at you. “And a hell of a coffee shop inside too.” Tania laughs, jiggling Falkor who is balanced on her shoulder, nibbling at her slice of pizza.

“If Y/N went in there, she might not come back out!”

“You say that like that’s a bad thing!” You defend, taking the last slice of your shared pizza with a playful glare at Tania.

“Think of all the money you’d spend.” Mel joins in.

“But then I’d have books…” You mutter around your mouthful.

“Your tiny little apartment can’t handle any more books.”

“That’s true,” You concede with a little sigh. “But that doesn’t mean if we have spare time, we can’t go and look!”

“Knew that was coming! Knew it!” Mel cackles, Linus giving her a judgemental look from his perch on the pasta plate as her hand slapped a few times on the table beside him.

“Well, I should fucking hope so by now.” You add smugly, taking a sip of your wine as Tania pulls out her phone.

“Okay. So what place do you want to do for breakfast, Mel?”

“I set up a reservation for breakfast for tomorrow at Proud Mary Cafe. One of the guys at my work, Tomas, says it’s the most delicious place to eat. So I set it up the day we left San Francisco since he mentioned it usually has a waitlist.”

“Holy crap,” Tania says softly as she peers down at her phone. “This food sounds decadent!”

“Read us a bit.” You request as you settle a little more comfortably into your seat.

“Savory french toast: Buttery portabella mushroom, smoked ricotta, chipotle charred greens, paprika crumb, croissant brioche, poached egg.”

“Whew. That sounds amazing!”

“Crab omelet: Singapore chili crab omelet, spicy noodles, bean sprout, and Asian herb salad, crispy onions.” She continues, licking her lips. “God I love crab.” With a shake of your head she looks up, “This is one I know you’ll want. Dutch honey hotcake: Vanilla and ricotta hotcake, mandarin segments, caramel, baked cheesecake, dutch cookie, honeycomb.”

“That’s a fancy pancake right there,” You say, handing Cloud the last piece of pansotti before reaching across to Melanie’s last slice, tearing it into thirds for Linus, Falkor, and Godzilla.

“Maybe pavlova? It’s a classic Australian pavlova with matcha, baked rhubarb, rhubarb syrup, and, ooooh, a custard cream. Damn. We should just order one of everything. It all sounds wonderful.”

“I wouldn’t say no to that!” Mel giggles out as the waitress comes over to ask about any ice cream desserts. “No thanks, we probably need to walk off what we just ate!”

“So,” Tania begins as the waitress goes to get the check. “We gonna walk for a bit then grab an ice cream cone while we’re out?”

“I wouldn’t say no to that!” You chuckle at Mel’s words, sliding the waitress your debit card when she returns.

“Or coffee.” You add.

“Or coffee. Man, I love me some coffee.” Mel replies with a grin, all of you standing after you sign the receipt, leaving a hefty tip for the waitress who had added some sausage on the side of the pasta for the scalies. “Let’s go find a coffee and ice cream place...then a park for the dragons.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Tania agrees, tucking Falkor into her oversized handbag as they exit the eatery, all of them taking a deep breath and headed down the street.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When they checked into The Benson last night, Bucky was exhausted. Exhausted but hungry. The food nearby was outstanding, though both Rhodey and Tony both kept saying it wouldn’t be as amazing as breakfast. Sam had rolled his eyes, remarking that everything tastes “amazing” to Steve and Bucky who had grown up with boiled cabbage and then hadn’t eaten for nearly seventy something years.

“One thing they don’t need to be - food critics,” Sam had finished as they’d stepped out into the evening air.

“I had plenty of good food back in the day when I was in Italy and France, thank you very much Mr. Won’t Pass Up A Big Mac.” Bucky sasses back, shoving his metal hand into his pocket. He takes about four steps when he felt a tingle up his spine. His head moves subtly from left to right, scanning the people around.

“Buck?” Steve’s voice is soft, straightening up when he sees Bucky’s posture change. All of them are on alert now, but none sure what they’re looking for.

“Just had a feelin’...”

“Like a ‘we’re about to get sniped’ feeling or more like ‘deja vu’ feeling?” Rhodey queries as he watches a group of men cross the street.

“Like something important is gonna happen feelin’.”

“I think he means an innocent feeling or an about to be ambushed one, Sgt. Barnes.” Vision adds, his eyes moving from the building behind them to Bucky. Bucky sees a flash on white, low to the ground up the street a little, but it’s lost in the foot traffic soon after he spots it.

“Nothing malicious. Just an odd, but nice feelin’.”

“Next time, lead with that.” Tony claps him on the shoulder before moving in the opposite direction, talking about a steakhouse with the most flavorful clam chowder he’s ever had. Wanda pats his arm before trailing after Tony and Vision, a small smile gracing her face.

When they’re seated and drinks have been ordered, Bucky still can’t shake the feeling. The light conversation is interrupted by Tony’s phone.

“Uh huh. Yep. Oh really? Did you activate the satellite feed? Uh huh. Bout an hour or so, I would venture to guess. Okay. Yep. Let me know. Thanks, Bruce.”

Steve raises an eyebrow at Tony, who is eyeing Bucky with interest.

“Did you tell them?”

“I told Steve.”

“Well then, I’ll catch everyone else up.” Bucky manages a nod just before Tony begins. “After getting first-hand descriptions, photos, plus information from both HYDRA and SHIELD - I began looking for Bucky’s dragon. I started from the base where Howl disappeared then branched out from there. And then one day it hit me -”

“Here we go…” Sam chuckles out, bracing his elbows on the table as a waiter appears with their drinks.

“Where would a dragon who has seemingly lost its human partner go?” Tony pauses dramatically, taking a healthy sip of his whiskey. “To find it’s soulmate.”

“So you’re saying you found not only his dragon but his soulmate?” Rhodey takes a good swig of his beer. “Damn.”

“I’ve narrowed it down to two women, just from satellite footage, you understand. One in Scotland, one in California. I asked Bruce to keep an eye on them while we were gone. Apparently, our California candidate has disappeared. Nowhere in the state.”

“You think something happened to her?” Wanda questions, looking from Tony to Bucky, who has his jaw clenched harder than is probably healthy.

“Nothing bad.” He takes another drink. “I don’t think. Bruce is readjusting the feed to get her last location and that should take about an hour. So, by the time we finish our dinner, we’ll have an answer.”

“Excellent.” Vision smiles encouragingly at Bucky, who gives a tight-lipped smile back as a mouthwatering steak is set before him. Suddenly his hunger isn’t as all-consuming as it was before...

God, Doll, I hope you’re safe wherever you may be...I don’t know if I can take it if you aren’t…

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There are quite a few people lingering outside the establishment and a few shopfronts down, settled on benches and scrolling through phones while they wait. It’s cooler than you had expected, the storm you’d encountered earlier in the week still lingering. In a few days it’ll be warmer, something the dragons will appreciate but you will not.

Proud Mary Cafe opens at 7am, but the dragons and Mel had other ideas, and you’d all gotten up right before 6. Mel and Tania had showered the night before, so you hopped in only to be interrupted by Godzilla howling for you through the door. You had to hop out to crack the door open so he could reach you, resulting in the hot water to peter out to lukewarm water in those two minutes. Tania had insisted on doing your hair, like she had many a time in college, letting you slap on some sunblock and then minimal makeup while she twisted and coerced your hair how she wanted. Herding the dragons downstairs and over to the park for some pre-breakfast walkies had woken you up better than the two cups of coffee Mel had already downed.

You’re about to enter the cafe when Godzilla shoots off down the street, you and Cloud both calling out after him. You shove your purse at Tania before tearing off after him, silently cursing his damn monitor-like body as his short but powerful legs carry him away. When you see him, he’s at the end of the block sitting on some poor man’s chest.

“I’m so, So, SO sorry!! He never does this!!” You wrap your hands around his thick black collar, attempting to tug the two hundred plus pound dragon off the man. “Bad Zilla!! Bad!! Off the nice man!!”

“Zilla? As in Godzilla?” You huff, still tugging, finally looking at the man standing beside you. Holy shit it’s Iron Man.

“Off.” The man grunts from under Godzilla, who happily obliges, his thick marble-looking tail wiggling so hard his entire body is moving along with it.

“Holy shit. You tackled an Avenger. Apologize!” You hiss at your wayward dragon, Captain Rogers helping the man up. And holy shit are you glad you said that while you could because of the specimen before you is drop dead gorgeous. Dark hair that’s hanging just past his shoulders with the most intense blue eyes you think you’ve ever encountered. He’s a good head taller than you with just enough scruff covering his cheeks to look almost sinful with his pink lips. Cloud’s sharp nails dig into your shoulder, kicking your mind back towards the fact that Godzilla just tackled the unsuspecting Avenger. “I’m very sorry, Sergeant Barnes. Godzilla has never done that before. He’s been acting off since last night. Must be all the time in the car for the last few days. I really am very sorry.”

“Told you it was a vacation - you owe me fifty bucks.”

“Shut up Tony.” Captain Rogers glares at the billionaire before smiling at you. You turn your attention back to Mr. Barnes.

“No need to apologize. I’m sure he just sensed me last night - like I sensed him.” The dots all suddenly align in your head, releasing your fingers from Godzilla’s collar.

“Oh.” You breathe out, tears coming to your eyes as you look down. “Why didn’t you say something?” He huffs, his tail wiggling dying down before snorting angrily at the super soldier’s boots.

“It’s gonna be that way, Howlite, pal?” Sgt Barnes kneels before the dragon, holding out his flesh hand.

“You said you would come back for me.” You say, causing those intense blue eyes to find yours, while you give him a small sad smile before letting your gaze drop to Zilla - Howlite. He swallows hard then nods, smiling at his dragon.

“I did promise you I’d be right back, didn’t I buddy?” Godzilla eased a little closer, Cloud switching shoulders so she can be closer to her mate, glaring at the former Winter Soldier. “And I meant to...I didn’t mean to...for things to happen like they did. But I’m glad you left. I don’t want you to see me that way, ever. And I don’t want to think about what they’d have done if they found you. You were the best, Howl. You did right and ran. I’m sorry you went seventy years without a home,” He swallows again, blue eyes shining with tears that are being fought back.

Godzilla - Howl, you mentally correct yourself again - moves closer to you, nudging your leg with his muzzle before stepping forward to rub his scaled face into James’s outstretched hand.

“Don’t worry, Sergeant Barnes. He wasn’t alone that long.” Howl is trying to shove his entire hefty body into his owner’s kneeling form, the super soldier’s smile is bright as he welcomes him, trying to wrap himself around the dragon in turn.

“Thank you.” He says gently, but with a light shining in his sapphire eyes. “Okay. Okay. I gotta introduce myself.” Howl happily disengages, his tail thumping happily against the pavement as James straightens up. His hand stretches out towards you, an unsure smile tugging on his plush lips. “James Barnes. Bucky...Bucky Barnes, actually.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You take his hand and both of you inhale sharply at the sensation of your skin touching for the first time. He hasn’t released your hand - not that you’re complaining - so you use your free hand to push a piece of hair out of your eyes. “We were about to have breakfast.”

“What a coincidence! So were we! Proud Mary Cafe?” Tony pipes up, sporting a huge grin.

“Um, yeah, actually.”

“Wonderful. We’ll all have breakfast together. Get to know each other.” Tony gestures towards where you’d run from, Bucky giving your hand a small squeeze before releasing it, his cheeks pink as you both realize you’ve just been staring at each other with dopey smiles painted on your faces.

Bucky walks closely beside you, although not as close as Howl who is pressed right up against his leg as he walks, your arms brushing against each other comfortably as you make your way to the cafe entrance...as if you’d walked like this a hundred times before. And it’s nice - this feeling of finding your soulmate, of finally being able to talk to them and to touch them. In fact, your fingers are nearly twitching with the need to touch him. Bucky holds the door open for you and then pulls your chair out for you when you’re all taken back to the now joined tables. This is all you could’ve asked for.

Plus you did have that week and a half left of vacation time...

Tagging: @moonbeambucky @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @unleashthemidnight @stay-frosty-royal-unicorn @chelsea072498 @clockworkmorningglory @sakurablossom4 @marichromatic @blondecoffeecake @ourloveisforthelovely @whinywingedwinchester @feelmyroarrrr

#taras5kwritingchallenge #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #authoressskr writes #bucky barnes au #dragon!soulmate!au #marvel fanfiction

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firstofficerhobgoblin · 5 years

Text

Happy Birthday @luck-over-logic !!!!

To the most wonderful James Tiberius Kirk in the TOS RP community!!!!!

I've now known you for a year and change and I'm ever so very glad I ran into you!! The muse has been silent as the grave of late, but have some Birthday minific! I did Fourth of July Last year, so this year have Pride. And I hope I have to think of summer themes for you for many years to come!!!

________________

Spock liked talking walks during the hottest part of the day. Jim had always known that, but as they got older he began to realize the true implication of the habit. It meant that all damn summer Jim was going to sweat like a horse. Why it was only June 30th, and it was only 11 am, and he was only wearing a t-shirt and lo and behalf he was damn near soaking through it, and was starting to get a little self conscious about the fabric clinging to what it aughtn't, and really he probably shouldn’t be wearing shorts at all at his age, and he wouldn’t have if it wasn’t so hot; he just wasn’t as trim as he’d once been. Bones had taken to calling him good old fashioned fat. He stared at a well built young man in short shorts and a painted on tank top, chatting loudly on his phone as he jogged past them, clearly late for something. He remembered when he looked like that….

“You look perfectly fine to me.” Spock said softly, giving Jim a start. But he smiled at the sentiment. Spock could read his mind even when he wasn’t….well….reading his mind. But he could be a little frustrating when it came to looks, for even in this weather he looked dignified in all blacks and greys and never a day over 50.

Spock reached down and squeezed his hand. Jim, as always, squeezed back, returning the gentle pulse of adoration Spock had sent his way and they carried on.

A minute later a young woman bathed in pink, purple and blue glitter bounced past them, accompanied by a tall man in corresponding pastel pink, blue and white glitter. Spock observed them with quiet curiosity, that peaked when the sparkly pair met up with a girl wearing rainbow body paint, and little else at the end of the block.

“Human youth culture never ceases to amaze.” The Vulcan observed quietly. “Where could they possibly be going looking that conspicuous?”

But when they reached the end of the block and looked uptown, they got their answer. They were nearly bowled over by a wall of sound, emanating from a seething, screaming crowd of people flamboyantly dressed people, all congregated under a massive rainbow banner that read 'San Fran Pride'. Jim laughed aloud. Spocks eyebrows shot up so high they nearly disappeared into his bangs and his grip on Jim’s hand tightened.

“I forgot about LGBT history month!” Jim said. Spock stared at him in a way that indicated his comment had in no way explained the multicolored cabal of glitter and feathers that had appeared before them. “Humans used to be kinda awful to each other, remember? And homosexuality used to be kinda an issue.” He explained.

“I am well aware of your history…” Spock replied, with a gaze canted uncomfortably towards the parade impling Jim’s explanation had not in fact explained a damn thing about the mass of humanity doing their best impersonation of so many birds of paradise. Just then the obligatory Stonewall float passed by, and that was how Jim Kirk found himself shout-explaining the history of pride, from riot, to protest, to party, to historic commemoration, a few feet from the current incarnation of the event. The era when it was a protest. When corporations tried to take it. When it was declared a History Month, like it always should have been. Spock listened with his typical intensity, regarding the display of flamboyance with changing opinion and increasing regard as Jim spoke.

He was just beginning his own tale of “Why, I remember my first Pride. I was about seventeen. I hadn’t quite figured out what I was feeling for men yet and my friend from……..” He trailed off as a float grabbed his eyes and stole all his attention.

The Starfleet sponsored float was topped with a beautiful starship made of iridescent sequins, and the float below was covered in pictures honoring LGBT figures from Starfleet history. The First Homosexual Captain. The First Trans Captain. The first Asexual Captain. But Jim's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the fifth photo.

The youngest Captain on Record. And his First Officer.

“Now you see here!” He hollered so loud that everyone in the vicinity turned to look at him. “I’m not history yet! I’m still right here!”

Everyone around them was staring, looking back and forth between the oversized image in the approaching float and the pair of old men standing in the back of the parade crowd. Finally someone declared the obvious.

“Holy shit…..it’s them!!! It’s Captain Kirk and Commander Spock!!” someone yelled.

“Admiral and Captain.” Spock corrected, but his insistence on precision was lost in the deafening cry of shrieks that rose up from the crowd around them, loud enough to draw the attention of the older man Marshaling the Starfleet float. The man, who neither of them recognized at first, immediately signaled for the float to stop and started waving like mad.

“Kirk!!!” He shouted, vaulting himself off the float with a spry leap that seemed inappropriate for his advanced years, and bolted to the edge of the Parade barricades. “Jim! Spock!”

It was Spock who saw through the rainbow wig and over the top makeup first. “Captain Sulu?”

“Yes!!!” He shouted back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? You’d have had a place ON the float!! C’mon! Get up here!! C’mon guys!! Let the infamous Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Spock up here with us!”

Jim tried to insist that they hadn’t planned this at all, but his words of protest were lost in the happy cries of the crowd as they shuffled him and Spock forward and helped them climb the barricade into the parade proper, where Sulu took the Captain’s hand and yanked him up onto the float as it started moving again. Spock, who was still, clinging to Jim’s arm, got dragged along with and was surprised to find himself and Jim’s presence getting aggressively cheered.

Sulu immediately began fussing over their appearance, swapping out Jim’s t shirt for a multicolored tank with the image of a frying pan on it that they both found hilarious but Spock found confusing. Spock, to his great displeasure, had a tub of glitter dumped on him after he’d selected for himself on a small, tasteful button that read “Elder Queer” from the box Sulu had pulled Jim’s new shirt from. But once the parade got going again, they both had to admit that the energy was infections. And people were so very happy to see the pair of them, Riding together astride the great glittering starship float.

“You mean so much to them.” Sulu beamed at the pair at one point. “Not just the gay couples….but the interspecies couples. The offworld queers. You’re icons to them. And watching the two of you, always at the forefront…..you give them so much hope.” After that comment Spock was a little more visible about his affections with Jim, even managing a human kiss when they reached the grandstand.

And Jim? He was having the time of his life, playing back and forth with the crowds, throwing out rainbow Starfleet insignias, and rousing cheers every time he touched Spock. Gone we’re his previous doubts about his age. His looks. Everything. As he so eloquently put it…he wasn’t history yet.

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kassandra-lorelei · 6 years

Note

Please keep writing about Charity and Jonah. I am loving this storyline.

Here we are, my friend! I had my film festival event yesterday so I got time to finish this last anonymous prompt today! However, I must say that for now I cannot take any more prompts - I’ll be going on holiday on Saturday, and for two weeks I’ll have no way of editing prompts/fics to make them presentable on this site. I’ll be able to take them again when I come back, on 30th June. But for now, please enjoy this fic (and the one other I’m planning on doing to release tomorrow)!

@missbabcocks1 @holomoriarty

It was approaching six thirty and Niles was preparing dinner whenthe doorbell went again. He knew exactly who it would be, and he would’verushed to be the one to answer the door had he not been occupied with cuttingup the tomatoes to go in the sauce. It meant that C.C. got there before he did,and he heard her loudly and cheerfully greet Jonah, before bringing the boyinto the kitchen.

He might not have been able to put the boy on his toes bybeing the first person he saw at the house, but wielding a large chef’s knife seemedto achieve the same effect. If C.C. had been close enough, Niles got thefeeling that she would’ve smacked it out of his hand (the glare she wasdirecting at him really and truly helped in that regard), so he settled it downon the counter, put the sauce ingredients on a low simmering heat, and turned to size theboy up.

He’d obviously taken C.C.’s advice earlier to heart. He wasdressed in perhaps the finest suit his parents’ money could buy, and clutchinga bouquet of roses which could almost rival the ones Niles himself had beencultivating for C.C.. Not that he was going to mention how lovely they looked –it was only right and proper that he should bring the nicest flowers he couldafford for Charity-Charlotte!

It was what he himself had done, back during the whole LynnRedgrave incident. Fortunately, now he and his wife shared a whole garden,which he spent many long and happy hours tending to. And when C.C. got homefrom work early enough, they’d sit outside together and enjoy the peace oftheir own home.

Well, they’d also once or twice ended up doing more in thebushes than just pruning, but that was besides the point. And it was certainlynot what he wanted to think about when addressing the boy in front of him.

“Evening, Jonah.”

“Hello, sir,” the boy went to shake his hand but stopped,looking over Niles’ shoulder at the stove. “Oh, you’re making dinner. Is this…maybea bad night after all?”

Before Niles could say anything, C.C. spoke up, giving theboy a reassuring pat on the arm.

“It’s alright! It just means there’ll be leftovers, that’sall,” she smiled. “Where are you gonna take Charity?”

Jonah shuffled, and cleared his throat, “I, uh…I booked areservation at that Italian place just the other side of Studio City. Well, ifshe wants to go, anyway. Is she here now?”

Charity was at home. She was up in her room, probably reading orlistening to music.

“I’ll go get her,” C.C. replied, before quickly leaving to headupstairs. “Charity! Jonah’s here…”

They heard a faraway cry that sounded like a teasing “Oooh!”,before their eldest snapped at Hope to shut up. Then C.C.’s footsteps were onthe stairs before Faith could join in too much, and the noise settled down alittle bit as their mother broke up whatever was about to start.

Either way, it left the two men alone, and this time it wasNiles who wasn’t sure how to start. He had been anticipating the moment thisscenario would arrive all afternoon, but he hadn’t been sure of what he’d say.The things he’d managed to talk about when the boy had come to see him earlier hadjust…well, they’d just come out.

Luckily Jonah spoke up first.

“Thank you for your advice earlier, sir,” he said, shiftinghis hand about as he held onto the stems of the roses. “I know you probablywanna go over a few ground rules with me, before Charity and I go anywhere…”

Niles had to give him some credit – he was clearly tryinghis best to be respectful, even if he was nervous as anything.

It reminded him of the first time he’d proposed, in a lot ofways. He’d tried starting off with respect, intending to just have aconversation with her, but C.C. had gone straight to a zinger and the whole thinghad fallen apart. Of course, it had led to just under twenty years of happinessso far, but Jonah getting a better start such as he was felt more like how mostcouples should start out.

It actually relaxed him, as well. Finding little similaritieshere and there seemed to help ease the tension.

“Well, in a lot of people’s minds, it is a father’sprerogative,” he said, going back to the stove to check on and stir the sauce. “I’msure your father had a few words of his own to add, before your mother cut in.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jonah sounded more relaxed as well, at themention of his parents. “He told me that I should tell you my exact plan, beforeMom kind of grabbed hold of me so that I could tell her everything as well.”

Niles wouldn’t have expected any less from Fran. She adoredher children, and anything to do with dating or their love lives would be a subjectof great interest.

“Sounds familiar,” he nodded, before turning away from thefood again. “So, what is your exact plan?”

Jonah looked like he was thinking about it as he wasanswering, “Well, we’ll go to dinner at the place I told you about, and then Ithought we might go to Universal Studios Citywalk. It’s really nice at night…”

He seemed to take Niles’ silence at that for disapproval, becausehe continued placatingly after.

“But we won’t stay out long, I promise!” he very nearlycried. “We’ll be home by ten forty-five, tops!”

Niles hadn’t been upset, he’d truly just been thinking. Theboy really was making an effort, and he had to respect him for that.

He actually started to smile. It was only little, but it wasa smile nonetheless.

“Alright,” he said, before pointing one finger at Jonah. “Butyou do understand that I’m going to hold you to that promise?”

Jonah smiled as well, and nodded.

“Yes, sir,” he replied. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

That had to be good enough for Niles. The boy wasrespectful, he took advice when it was given to him, and he never seemed to puthis own needs above Charity’s, or anybody else’s.

There were some things Niles still couldn’t fully accept,but that – as some would say – was also a father’s prerogative.

But before he could say anything on the matter, two sets offootsteps – both in heels – came back towards the kitchen.

“Here she is…!” C.C. announced, bringing Charity forward.

Mother and daughter had obviously spent some time trying onclothes and getting hair and makeup sorted, because Charity was dressedexquisitely. The redness of her short dress only highlighted the goldenness ofher cascading hair, and a simple pearl necklace hung about her neck.

She smiled at her boyfriend, “Hey, Jonah.”

The boy looked awestruck.

“Hi, Charity…” he was practically gaping. “You look…beautiful…”

Niles couldn’t do anything else but agree. Charity did lookbeautiful, and he was filled with the same sense of pride that he’d had when they’dfirst brought her home from the hospital.

That was so long ago now. Where had the time gone?

“Oh! These-these are for you,” Jonah remembered to hold outthe flowers that he’d brought for Charity.

She accepted them gratefully, a hint of a blush creeping toher cheeks as she smiled down at them.

“Thanks…” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “So,um…where are we going?”

Jonah told her, and when Charity readily agreed (more thanhappy at the fact that he’d decided to do something like this), her parents sawthem off from the front door.

They didn’t leave until Jonah’s car drove off and around thecorner, and C.C. must have felt that Niles’ expression was rather forlorn becauseshe gave him a playful nudge in the side.

“Come on, you can’t really think he’s that bad!” she said,teasing but gentle.

Niles sighed, finally turning back into the house.

“I suppose not,” he said. “It’s just something I’ve got toget used to.”

C.C. closed the door, and hurried to catch up with him.

She linked arms with him as they went back into the kitchen,smirking, “They’ve been dating for two years now, Hazel – I know the term“sloth-like” applies to most things you do, but I would’ve thought even yourancient brain would’ve had time to catch up by now!”

Niles rolled his eyes.

“I meant the fact that our little girl is growing up,Babcock!” he explained. “She’s going out into the world! She’ll leave home, probablyget married and have a family of her own…! The time just goes by so fast, I…”

Heaving another sigh, he let go of his wife’s arm and wentto check on the food to distract himself some. Not that it entirely worked – hecould watch after dinner in his sleep, practically.

It wasn’t enough to keep him from what bothered him mostabout the whole arrangement.

“Now that she has Jonah, I’m starting to feel like shedoesn’t need us so much.”

He felt C.C. slip her hand into his own, and pull so that he’dstep away from the stove, turn around and face her.

“Niles, that’s the way it’s supposed to be!” she told him,taking his other hand as well. “Neither one of us lived with our parents forlonger than we had to, and we certainly don’t live with them now!”

Niles pulled a face, “In the case of your mother, can I bethe first to say “thank God”?”

C.C. chuckled low in her throat.

“Get behind me, Dust Buster – I called dibs on head of theline back when we first got married,” she pulled him closer, and wound her armsaround his neck so that he’d settle his on the small of her back. “But I stilllove my father, don’t I?”

Niles wasn’t entirely sure where she was going with what shewas saying, but he nodded anyway.

“Yes, you do…”

His wife slid her hand round to cup his cheek, making surehe was looking her in the eyes.

“Then what makes you think our little girl – or either ofher sisters, for that matter – will be any different?” she asked softly. “Shemight not need us as much anymore, but nothing else is gonna change! It’s alljust a part of life. And no matter how old Charity, Faith, or Hope get, we willstill be a part of that life.”

He paused, considering it all carefully, and could only cometo the conclusion that C.C. was right. Children growing up, falling in love andmoving away was all part of life – he’d known that from the start. There wasn’tany reason to be afraid of it – feelings, shared things, probably even the amountof time spent together weren’t going away, and they probably wouldn’t change verymuch, either.

They were still the same old family, the Brightmores and theSheffields combined. It was just the adventure that would be new. And perhapsthat wasn’t so scary after all.

Even if certain parts of it were still going to make himdispleased with Jonah, whom he’d probably have to practice calling his futureson-in-law, at this rate.

But he wasn’t going to think about that just for the moment.Not when he had his wife in his arms, and she’d just managed to soothe theworry that had been nagging at him for a long time now.

He rested his forehead against hers, “How did I get solucky, to marry such a wise woman?”

C.C. smiled, and reached up to brush her lips over his, “Youcertainly hit the jackpot.”

That he had. And to show her how grateful he was, he leanedin more to capture her lips in a kiss. One kiss quickly became several, andsoon they’d moved across to the table, where C.C. could sit and hold himbetween her legs as they continued to kiss and trade light touches.

It gave Niles more than an idea.

“You know…dinner won’t be ready for a while,” he murmured, pepperingher neck with kisses from her collarbone all the way up to her ear. “How aboutwe have a little dessert first?”

C.C. pulled away to raise an eyebrow at him, “On a tablewhere we’re about to eat with our children?”

That was a good point. Faith and Hope were only upstairs –they could come down at any time, and he didn’t want them to catch their parentsin the middle of something he’d rather they didn’t see.

What they had to do was find somewhere they were unlikely togo, at this time of the day. It was early evening and even though there wasstill a little bit of light it was getting low, so maybe…

He took a step back to allow C.C. to get off the table,before taking her hands with a smirk.

“How about a long walk in the garden?”

#anon asks #the nanny #niles and cc #niles the butler #cc babcock #otp: always been bitter together #otp: butler bitch

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[Transcript] Season 1, Episode 8. We’ve Been Busy With… More Christmas Films, The Three-Body Problem, Chaos Walking, and More

It's the final Stereo Geeks episode of 2020! So, what have we been busy with? Ron caught up with The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two. And, continuing with the Christmas theme, we also checked out The Christmas Setup and Dashing in December.

We also chilled with some audiobooks. Mon finally got her hands on The Three-Body Problem, while Ron read the Chaos Walking book series.

We end the episode with a look at queer romance novel Red, White, and Royal Blue.

Listen to the episode on Anchor.

Read more about the Jallianwala Bagh Massacre here.

[Snowflake by GeriArt by Pixabay plays]

Ron: Welcome to the final Stereo Geeks episode of 2020. We continue with our Christmas special in what we've been busy with.

Mon: I'm Mon.

Ron: I’m Ron. We will be discussing spoilers for all the movies and books that we are talking about during this episode. So, if you haven't watched them or read them, please check them out and return to our episode.

So, since we’ve been catching up with Christmas movies, I decided to watch The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two. This is a Netflix movie. I watched the first part a couple of years ago on Christmas Day. I thought, eh, whatever, I’m not going to enjoy this. But, actually it was really sweet and really captured the magic of Christmas.

It’s about a pair of siblings; the younger child, obviously, was the one who believed in Christmas. Her older brother, not so much. And now we take off in the second part and they've both already met Santa Claus, and they believe in the Christmas spirit.

But things have changed a lot since the first film when we met the siblings. They had just lost their father, and they were really struggling to celebrate Christmas without him. Now, in this film. It's been a couple of years later, and they're going to get a new dad. Their mother has met this very nice man, played by Tyrese Gibson, and it seems like certain things are going to be going ahead. But the little girl, she just can't get into it. And she needs Santa to come and bring some Christmas spirit to her life.

But, Belsnickel, a former elf turned human is here to rob Christmas of its joy. Can Santa and Mrs Claus. young Kate and her soon-to-be stepbrother Jack, save the day?

I, sadly, did not enjoy this movie. I really wanted to, and the production values are so much better than in the first film; like, we go to the North Pole and when they're in the Christmas Village, we see all these elves and everything we only got a little glimpse of in the first film. So, those bits I really liked. It was very beautiful, and it really felt like, it’s very magical and stuff.

But, the movie itself. No. It turned into a generic action film with Santa Claus in it.

Mon: That sounds terrible.

Ron: Yeah, I really wanted to capture that feeling from the first film like how you're feeling a bit down and you just want something to reignite that love for Christmas in you, especially when you're a little older. This one just doesn't do that. Like, I like action. That's fun. But this strayed so far away from the Christmas part of it that I just couldn't get into it.

Even the characters. It felt like they were manufacturing their disappointment in everything. Like, Kate is upset that they’re spending Christmas in a tropical city. So, they're like on the beach and stuff. And you're like, Okay, so what? ‘No, Christmas has to be white, and Christmas has to have snow in it’. No, it doesn't. It's so weird. And so, yeah, it just seemed like they were doing this for no reason at all.

And Bob the new dad. He seems really nice. I'm like, why doesn't Kate like him? And he's making this huge effort to be really nice and sweet and getting to know her and all. And I'm just like, you're not even trying. And I realise that Kate is young, but not that young that she should be throwing tantrums for no reason.

So yeah, it was strange. But Kurt Russell as Santa Claus is amazing. I don't know why. When I watched the first one, I was like, there is no way in hell this is gonna work. But he was great. And he's like, really enjoying himself being Santa.

Goldie Hawn as Mrs Claus, which is really fun, because they're together in real life. So, we got like this cameo from her in the first film and you're like, ‘ah, yay, and now you get to see her a bit more. She's very sweet, but I don't know. Like, I've seen Goldie Hawn in so much stuff but this one is not her best work. Whereas Kurt Russell is totally into it.

Julian Dennison as Belsnickel. Now, Julian Dennison is a really incredible young actor. We’ve seen him in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, we’ve seen him in Deadpool 2. I'm beginning to feel a lot like this boy is getting stereotyped.

Mon: Already?

Ron: Yeah. The character of Belsnickel is kind of a lot like his character in Deadpool 2, in the sense that he was betrayed by his parents and he wants to fight back, and he's really a good person at heart but he's doing bad things because he just wants revenge. And I really think that this is not fair because there's a lot more than he can do. I mean we've seen it in Hunt for the Wilderpeople. So, it's just really frustrating to see him being stereotyped in this particular kind of role.

Also, apart from Jack and his father Bob, there aren't really any other characters of color, so for the main villain to be of Maori descent is really irritating.

So yeah, despite the production values being pretty cool and there being some moments where I quite enjoyed the mythos that they've created, I really didn't enjoy this film that much.

The central family themselves, they didn't really work for me, I think in the first one, there was a good foil between the older brother and the little sister, because he was like ‘Santa Claus doesn't exist. Christmas doesn't exist. Why are we doing all this?’ And the little girl’s like no, she's a true believer and she believes in Christmas, and that worked really well together. The brother has like a teensy tiny role in this one.

So, it's all very magical in that sense, but the conflict is so manufactured, and even the happy ending, like, yeah, it's great and stuff but it just could have been done better. It's one of those sequels that feels like a sequel—bigger, better, but not.

I was sadly disappointed. I really, really wanted to enjoy this film. So, I'm sad.

Mon: Oh, that's so sad. Well, that sort of continues in the same vein for the next film.

I was kinda excited when I heard about The Christmas Setup. Apparently, it's a rare occurrence that Lifetime has queer couples in the lead. And The Christmas Setup has gay men finding true love.

So, played by Ben Lewis, Hugo is this lawyer who's been trying to become partner for three years now. Finally, just before the Christmas break, he asks one more time, and the boss kind of goes, we're not too sure you're ready for it. So, he's kind of crushed, but he has something to look forward to. He and his best friend Madelyne, who was played by Ellen Wong, they're off to his home, where they meet his mom Fran Drescher’s Kate.

She is this vivacious, Christmas-loving person—like the house cannot have enough lights, cannot have enough Christmas trees. It's just Christmas everywhere you look. And Kate, unbeknownst to Hugo, has set him up with the other gay dude in their small town, which is Patrick, played by Blake Lee.

Patrick is a couple of years older than Hugo and they went to school together. Patrick was already out in high school, but he was the most popular kid. Hugo, on the other hand, was still in the closet. He didn't come out till he was in college. And so when Patrick meets Hugo, he doesn't actually know that he's gay. He finds out later on.

And it's obvious that Hugo is kind of interested in Patrick, especially once he finds out that Patrick is not down in the dumps selling Christmas trees and needing a tip. In fact, Patrick has already retired, he made this popular app, which even Maddie knows about. And yeah, now he's giving back to the community, he's working with his dad and sending people trees and helping around town.

So anyway, this being a Christmas, romantic film, they find each other, they need to figure out whether they can be together. And in the end, there's a happy ending… If you can call it that.

Wow, I just was so disappointed in this film. I was kinda really excited, like I really was. I know Ben Lewis only from Arrow, he plays the adult version of Oliver Queen’s son. Hugo is pretty much the same as William. I didn't see any difference—like it was like if you transport him from one place to the other.

Ron: Yeah, I could totally see William going through the same thing when he goes back to Star City.

Mon: Exactly. Right? And I wanted to like this character. I really liked Ellen Wong’s Maddie.

Ron: Yeah, she was really nice.

Mon: She was really cool. She bring some natural vivacity which fit with the fact that Hugo is kind of staid from time to time. He's too restrained. And then of course, Fran Drescher, is of course like over the top. Though I thought that she was pretty believable.

Ron: Yeah, she was. She was like this really fun, cool mom who's just up in everything, so yeah.

Mon: Exactly. But the central relationship, while it worked for a bit, after a while it just fell away. Because I felt like they tried to make it seem like this idyllic happy ending. But I just feel like Hugo made the wrong decision because he was pressured into making that decision.

Ron: Throughout the film, I felt like Hugo was being pressured to do things that he didn't want to do. Like, even with the public speaking, he doesn't want to go up on stage and talk. Everybody’s like ‘no, no, go up and talk’. He doesn't want to go up and sing, it was like ‘no no, go up and sing’. Like why are you being pushed to do all these things? Just leave him be.

Mon: Yeah. And he gets this great opportunity which he's been vying for, for years. And in quintessential rom-com style, he sort of decides that love is better than opportunity, which I just can't get behind.

Ron: I didn't think it made sense in this film. Why does he have to give up the opportunity to be with Patrick? Patrick literally has everything right now, he's retired, he sold his app for a ton of money, he can do whatever he wants.

Mon: He can go wherever he wants as well, so why on earth is he pressuring Hugo?

Ron: Yeah, especially that we see them agreeing that it's going to be fine and everything’s going to be okay if it's long distance and then Hugo goes up on stage and sings this song and then suddenly there's like this weird switch that goes off and Patrick is like ‘no, I can't’. Like what? Where did this come from? What do you mean you can't? Like you were literally just saying; what changed in three minutes?

Mon: Yeah, I definitely don't agree with this story at all. I mean, it doesn't capture the Christmas spirit for me, because in the end these guys really don't know each other that well. And you want to say it's all true love and all that, but what exactly is Hugo gonna do in his hometown?

Ron: Is this a relationship that's gonna last? Or is this just a convenient relationship that's happened? I mean, yes, I get that Hugo’s mom was trying to set them up and they already have that experience from being in school together. But are there no other gay around? Why is Patrick Hugo’s only choice? Why is Hugo Patrick's only choice?

That's what pulled me up a bit shot because I was like, there has to be other reasons why these two are together. But if it's not there in the film, then how are we supposed to believe it?

And the thing is that we know that there is some kind of queer community here because Patrick talks about how there's a queer club for youth. There's a whole drag circuit happening; they didn't have that when they were growing up, so he's really happy that things have changed so much. So that means that they have other options. Why are these two together?

Mon: I agree with you. I was just so underwhelmed by it all and really frustrated because if you want to do something different, you want to make a queer film, but you're gonna go down the same road, take the same tropes, then you're not doing anything special.

Ron: Yeah, because then it seems to me like this was a straight film with gay characters in it. And also, why don't we see any other gay people?

Mon: Yeah, there's a hint that somebody in the past may have been in a queer relationship and then what? That kind of validity is required in a story where they're in a small town which isn't accepting them, but no one bats an eyelid. So, what is the point of that? It was like a red herring for the audience. Where does this go? Does this validate anything? No. It has nothing to do with it. I felt like there were two disparate stories which they just put together and said ‘hey we've made something different now. Please applaud us’.

Ron: Like, the ending as well. I actually ended up feeling a bit confused because I was like, hang on. So is he taking the new job, or is he not. And it's just kind of the way it ends, you're like, oh, I guess he's not, but it's not explicit.

I feel like the last act completely fell away. It had no clue what it was doing. They tried to wrap it all up quickly. Everything that had been happening up until that point, just forget about it—pretend it didn't happen because, obviously, it doesn't happen for the characters.

Mon: Even the central premise that this is a Christmas setup. You wouldn't know it, unless you'd seen the name of the film. Because it doesn't really come across as a setup at all.

Ron: I think it would have made more sense for it to be a Christmas setup, had the mother's intentions been a bit more clear. Like, why does she like Patrick for her son? We don't know, we don't even see them interacting. He's bringing a tree for her. That's it. So what is the connection there?

Mon: And what I felt is that set up for the setup was not built up. In the first scene had we realized that Hugo is really lacking in love, okay he's broken up with somebody, but that's okay, That's fine. It happens a lot of times, but it's not like he's feeling this grave loss, or, you know, he's just feeling so lonely. Hence this idea has sprung in Kate’s mind that, ‘oh there’s this guy’.

Maybe Kate’s had some interactions with Patrick which has made her think, yes, ‘he seems really nice. I would love to set him up with my son’. But none of that comes across. Hugo just wants to be home, he wants to get away from work, he doesn't want to think about the pressures of work—the fact that his promotion is not coming—and he wants to hang out with his best friend; he wants to hang out with his mom. And then there's the setup.

Ron: I honestly felt like for the majority of the film, Hugo's story revolved more around his job than his love life. And I thought that this romance that was happening between him and Patrick was just a consequence of them being in this place that they’re both comfortable in during a magical time of the year. But the last act makes it seem like the job was not that important, whereas finding a partner was. It ended up actually being rather jarring as a viewer, if you'd seen the whole thing, because Hugo's final decision just doesn't track with what he'd been fighting so much for from the beginning. And the thing is, I would have understood his decision had we seen him being absolutely and completely miserable at his job. He's not. He really believes in what he's doing. And he really wants to move up in this company. And he's really excited when he gets that call, right?

I'm wondering whether it was that interaction that they have on the roof where Patrick is like ‘lawyers suck’. And he was like, ‘I'm a lawyer’. Do you think that is the part of the reason why he changed his mind? I don't know.

Mon: You’re still trying to do some mental gymnastics to make it all fit and work, but it none of it does. Because at the end of the day, Hugo's magical return home for those few weeks is really dictated by the fact that he's back with his mom, he's hanging out with his best friend, he meets a cute guy, and he solves a mystery. And he saves something that he really loves. Those are great, but this isn't a long-term thing. So, if you take those elements away, what happens? Does Hugo still enjoy being back in his hometown? What is he going to do there? Like does his hometown need a hotshot lawyer? It probably doesn't, but he's worked so hard to get to a great position and he's throwing it all away.

Ron: Yeah, also is Patrick a worthy person to throw it away for?

Mon: That’s what I felt like. Patrick is a really selfish person because he's retired, he has basically nothing to do. So, he's latched on to Hugo—and that's how it came across to me—he's latched on to Hugo, who's a really sweet guy, who's a very smart guy. And that's it. So, he's like ‘no, I won't let you go’. It just seemed to me like it was a very manipulative kind of move by him.

The moment they sort of made an agreement, he just reneges and he makes Hugo feel guilty about it. I don't get it. And then everybody keeps telling Hugo that ‘you belong here’. If Hugo himself doesn't feel like that, then why are we telling him?

And the one person who really should have been telling him ‘you belong here and you stay here’ is his mom. But Kate, on the other hand, she is so happy for him. You can see in every interaction, especially after the cat is out of the bag that he's going away to London. She's the one who's still encouraging him to go and be the best version of himself. Everybody else is like ‘no stay here’. Why?

Ron: I haven't watched too many rom-coms, but in the few that I have seen, this always is the kind of gimmick that they use to keep a character in a place. Like everybody will come and tell them, ‘no you belong here’ or ‘you belong with that person’. I need to see that.

Mon: And we need to feel that, as an audience. We need to really root for them to be here, which we don't know.

Ron: Unfortunately I'm going to choose the job over the guy, sorry.

Mon: How old is Hugo? He's like, early 30s and he's being made partner in a gigantic law firm? Like, to hell with you, Patrick.

Ron: And in New York, like this is a big deal!

Mon: And, he’s being sent to London to expand his horizons. Come on, he’s going to be running the London office, and you give that all up for…Patrick.

Ron: Who you’ve only known for, like, one Christmas week. That's it. No, no.

You know what, I was with this film till the last act. Till that point I was like, oh it’s so sweet, look at how they're getting along. Oh, what's gonna happen? And then the last act happened. I was just like, what, why? It didn't work for me.

Mon: No, I agree with you, It was not a Christmas film.

Ron: I know we’ve talked about the entire film but, going back to the beginning what was with the double entendres?

Mon: Oh, I forgot about them!

Ron: That was so weird, right?

Mon: Yeah, it was really awkward and uncomfortable.

Ron: Yeah, and unnecessary.

Mon: Especially, there was this scene when Patrick has just brought the tree in. And they were framing it in such a way that I felt like they were trying to insinuate something. Hugo’s down on the ground on all fours, trying to fix a tree and Patrick is up top, trying to fix a branch. And I kept trying to think, are they trying to frame it in a particular position to say something? Because we've been so conditioned by all the double entendres up until then, that I thought that they were trying to say something or insinuate something, But it didn't make any sense. I'm guessing it was just an overlong scene where it was just badly made.

Ron: Yeah, it didn't make sense.

Also, despite the fact that Ben Lewis and Blake Lee are married in real life, I could not feel the chemistry on screen.

Mon: No, I agree. I was actually really surprised when you told me that, I was like okay, no.

Ron: They looked comfortable with each other, but yeah that chemistry just didn't come through at all.

Well, moving on to yet another Christmas film.

So, Dashing in December, sees Peter Porte’s Wyatt Burwall return to his ranch to be with his mum during Christmas. His mum, Deb, played by Andie MacDowell, is kind of struggling with the ranch. It's huge. It takes up a lot of money. And it's not really bringing anything in. Wyatt has not been back in years. So, Deb is obviously excited to see him.

But there's a little bit of tension about the ranch and what to do about it, their future, and the future of the horses that they have. And into the mix, we have Juan Pablo Di Pace’s Heath Ramos. Heath has been working on the ranch for a while, and Deb is really fond of him. He's super helpful and kind of almost a stand-in for Wyatt for her.

And we also have Caroline Harris' Blake, who is an old friend of Wyatt’s. And later on, we meet, Carlos Sanz’s Carlos, the former ranch hand, who may or may not be a little bit more important to Deb.

So, [laughing] this movie was an experience in many ways. Considering I had never heard of queer Christmas movies before, this is the fourth queer Christmas film we've seen this year. Each one has been a rollercoaster, in its own way. This was probably the strangest one.

Aside from the fact that the ranch setting is really out there for a queer movie. The characters are really strangely written. And I don't know what they were going for with this. And that ending. Yes, that’s another ending that I'm just not sure about.

Mon: So, Wyatt as a character is generally unlikable. I think they were going with the Scrooge personality for this guy. He's very grumpy at this office party that he's at just before he leaves for the ranch. He has this big project, and he has to take work to the ranch because he needs to finish this deal. And it takes a while—I would say two-thirds of the film—before we realize that his promotion, the project and selling the ranch are all interlinked. So, that goes to show you how good the writing is. #sarcasm

And Wyatt is so invested in selling the ranch because he's paying for it, he's paying the taxes. And obviously, it's not making any money. So, his idea is to basically get it off his mother's hands and sell it to his client.

He goes about convincing his mother in such a terrible fashion. He basically, at the first dinner that he's there, shoves this portfolio of numbers at her. And on the opposite side is Heath, who loves this ranch, he has a magical connection to it from his childhood. And he's obviously really invested in taking care of the horses, taking care of the ranch, taking care of Deb. He does not want to let it go. He also doesn't know how invested Wyatt is in this ranch because he doesn't know about the financial situation. So, Heath basically spends his entire time pushing back against this idea of selling the ranch.

And then there's Wyatt, well, it's his ranch, so he can do whatever he wants. Wyatt is looking at Heath as the ranch employee. Deb is looking at Heath as her son, maybe future son in law. And Heath is just wrapped up in the whole ranch situation. And, among all this, we are supposed to be invested in a love story. Suffice to say it does not go well.

This was so hard to watch, because Wyatt is the worst character ever. I hated this guy. Like, every time he seemed to take a turn where you would end up liking him, he would just do something really horrible. He is a nasty creature.

Ron: There's nothing good about Wyatt. There's no redeeming quality about this man. He is so self-absorbed; he does not see anybody else's point of view. And he's very ‘white savior’. Like, my dude, do you think about the words that come out of your mouth before you speak them?

Mon: And he attacks everyone! So, there’s this dinner scene, which is basically Wyatt’s way of making a special evening for Heath, and somehow Wyatt is the one who ruins it completely.

Ron: That is a complete and utter disaster. And it's all Wyatt’s fault. After that scene, I was like, everybody should wash their hands off this man. Even Deb is disappointed in her son.

Mon: But somehow, the very next scene sees Blake consoling Wyatt, and somehow it's all about Wyatt’s man-pain and not about all the horrible things he just said to the three most important people in his life. I'm just like, what? What is with this writing?

Ron: I have no idea. We’ve got to talk about the fact that Heath is originally from Colombia. There's kind of a weird imbalance because he's also an employee, and Wyatt kind of seems to imply that he can do stuff for Heath to make his life easier. And I'm just like, you do realize that sounds a little bit weird, right? You can give him a job, so he can continue working for you? Aren't you trying to have a relationship? What? It's just that entire scene was so yeurgh.

Mon: One thing I’ll say is, I'm glad Heath stood up for himself. But it's all underdone by the fact that we have to have a happy ending at the end, and it just doesn't work. This entire film was cringe.

Ron: I don't know what they were planning to do with this. They weren’t even trying. Okay, the setting is a bit strange. Why does the family have to have a ranch? I don't get it. It is just so weird because Heath is living on the ranch, but he doesn't have enough space for a Christmas tree and then the water stops working at one point and he has to go and have a shower in the in the main house. I'm just like, this is very upstairs, downstairs. And that's never addressed. So that makes it very uncomfortable for me.

But then his Colombian background is kind of brought in a couple of times but not very much. And, of course, his father ran off with a younger woman. Because let's just throw stereotypes in there for no reason. And why does Heath like Wyatt at all? They have a few conversations which are okay, but there's nothing nice about Wyatt. He's constantly throwing his weight around. He's constantly being condescending. There's nothing nice about him.

Mon: His first interaction with his mom when he arrives; he complains about every single thing. Oh my god! I'm surprised that his mother didn't actually hit him. And she's this long-suffering woman.

Ron: It's the only in that dinner scene later on, where she really looks disappointed, but I'm not sure why she hadn’t thrown him out of the house a long time ago. He's not nice.

Mon: The problem with this film is the structure. We start off with the fact that he's just freshly off a breakup. We also see that he has a lot of work to do. But then we're thrown immediately into, he wants to sell the ranch. But none of that is connected. Structurally, the film doesn't make sense.

Ron: We see him actually working on his whatever he's doing once. And I'm like, all this while, what were you doing? Weren’t you supposed to be bringing work home or something? So yeah, it was really confusing to watch and then, much later on when you see that everything's connected, why didn’t you tell us that sooner?

Mon: Again, the setup for the actual premise is completely hidden, so we're not invested. If you're going to make the character nasty or mean or Scrooge-like, then there has to be a reason why you expect us to be invested in him. And it would make sense if you see him looking at these property taxes and being like, oh my god, how am I gonna do this? And pushing to get more work and a senior position, knowing that, yes, I'll get more money so that I can keep this going. You know if you have that connection, you can sympathize and empathize with this character. Because the ranch is all he has and it’s connected to his father. But we don't get that.

Ron: We know from the beginning that Wyatt hasn’t come home for Christmas in ages. But you only learn why that is much later on. And it’s some kind of sappy reason about why he couldn't live up to his father's expectations, even though his father's been dead for 15 years or something. And I’m just like, what?

Mon: This is a problem with a lot of writing. They forget that there are real reasons why people can't be home for Christmas. Like they have jobs, they work in retail, they work in whatever. They need to finish a project, so you can't do it. That's a realistic but unfortunate reality. Had they included that in, it would have made Wyatt a more sympathetic character, but they don't do any of that.

Ron: I don't even know what Wyatt’s job is! What does he do?

Mon: I agree with you. I didn't get it either.

Ron: I don't get it. He has clients. Okay, what?

Mon: I feel like the creative brief for this film was: we want two gay guys in cowboy hats dancing in one scene. And they made the entire movie around that.

Ron: The same problem that we had with The Christmas Setup, we're having the same problem with Dashing in December. What is the connection between Wyatt and Heath? Literally the only thing they have in common is that they’re both gay.

Mon: There's this scene, right, where Heath’s like, oh you're gay? And Wyatt already knows he’s gay, that means Deb told Wyatt about Heath, but she didn't tell Heath about Wyatt. Which doesn't make sense to me, because isn’t that playing favorites?

Ron: And also, we learn later on that she was trying to set them up. So then why, would you not tell him? Why would you want to spring that on him?

Mon: And that also means that Deb doesn’t talk about Wyatt when he's away. Heath’s been here for at least a few years now. How have they not talking about him and his previous relationships? The guy apparently has a revolving door of relationships.

Ron: It's only after they start getting together that Heath finds out about all these endless relationships and he doesn't want to be just another person in that. Why is all this information coming so much later? Look at the time span. It's what, one week, maybe less? And we’re supposed to believe that these two have fallen in love and they want to be together forever? Like, dude, you literally have no other options in this place. That's why you like this guy.

Mon: I agree with you.

Ron: There are all these weird stereotypes that keep coming in. Like, of course the poor person of color will not have had any relationships, even though he's been out for a while. In the 21st century, how are we seeing this?

Mon: Yeah, I was really disappointed in this. It was structurally a mess. I didn't care about many of the characters, I definitely hated Wyatt, who is our protagonist, and it played out in this series of tropes and disconnected events. It just didn't work for me.

Ron: In the beginning, why do they keep saying the years so specifically?

Mon: Right? I noticed that as well. Every other dialogue was like ‘he's been gone five years’, ‘he joined three years ago’, so and so died 15 years ago’. What is this? History?

Ron: There were so many years thrown at us? I was like, how many years has Wyatt not been here? How many years has he been working with them? When did Deb go see him? I don't know! Way too much information. Nobody needs to know all this. It literally felt like, when you're writing your first draft, you end up being very specific and then after that, you revise it and stuff and realise that nobody needs to know this information. It's like that that stage was missed.

Mon: Calling it the first draft feels authentic, because that's exactly how this film felt.

Ron: There were certain scenes that felt like they’d made alternate versions. And I don't know why it felt to me but it really did. Especially that scene after the dinner with the projector, and Blake is telling Wyatt that everything is going to be okay. This feels very much like they shot something else which didn't work so they put this in because they’d already shot it. And it really just me out of the experience of watching the movie. And then in the end for Heath to be with Wyatt is just so stupid.

Mon: Everybody gets their little romantic happy ending. But I felt this was a bad choice. At one point, Wyatt even tells his mother that Heath can do better than him. But Heath doesn't. I just don't understand.

Ron: We are told that apparently there aren’t many gay people in this particular area. But that doesn't mean that there are no gay people anywhere else. If Heath really wants to have a relationship with somebody then he can go somewhere else. His only choice shouldn't have to be Wyatt. I think that's my main problem with the two films that we're talking about today. It's like the gay characters literally have no other choice but each other. And that feels tokenistic.

We were talking about this in our previous episode about new Christmas films that we've been catching up with. And we had the same problem with The Christmas House, where the gay couple over there, who were at least a bit more settled, and actually fit, were the only gay characters. But is with happy season which he lost his spot. Whereas with The Happiest Season, which we’d also spoken about in the previous episode, you got a feeling that there were other gay people around, that there was a gay community. We saw the gay bar that they went to.

Whereas with The Christmas Setup, they talk about it, but we never see it. So, it feels very much like they don't have a choice, but that's not how these romantic stories should go. The whole point is for you to see that there are lots of people around in the world, and you find the one among those people. In a straight story, that's what would happen. But these stories, they don't give us that choice and that's really not fair.

Mon: What bothers me is that if you're going to say that in this small town, there are no other gay people, there's not much choice, then this being a Christmas movie, the Christmas miracle shouldn't be that these two people are now settling for each other. It should be that they’ve finally found each other. And that means you need to make them both likable, which you did not.

Ron: What kind of name is Heath for a Colombian? It’s literally like they couldn't think of any name so they just came up with whatever they wanted. It really feels like this movie was phoned in.

Mon: That's a really good way of putting it. It does feel like this movie was phoned in.

Ron: But also, I find it really funny that with Tyrese Gibson, Fran Drescher, Andie Macdowell, all the people we watched growing up, are now the parents of these protagonists!

Mon: I guess that tells you something.

Ron: I was really hoping for something fun.

Mon: That's the key ingredient that is missing from these films, the fun factor. It's not enjoyable. Because you're so wrapped up in everything that's wrong with these people because they are not great people.

Ron: And it's drama for drama sake.

Mon: You're so right.

Ron: I don't want to be too negative in the sense that, at least we're getting queer content. But come on, we can do so much better than this. Three out of the four Christmas films that we've spoken about over the last two episodes have had couples who are newish, hoping to have a life together, and all them feel toxic.

Mon: Well said, you’re right. And that worries me because is that the case of all romantic films? You and I, not being experts in the romance category, makes me worry that this is the norm and you and I just don't know it.

Ron: Eww. I really hope not. What kind of message is that sending out? I'm hoping that this is just the beginning, and next year we're going to get all sorts of queer films that will be much more holistic and joyful and actually magical and not like these.

Mon: Here’s hoping.

Mon: Shifting away from anything Christmas, we are going to be talking about some books that we've been listening to. Yes, listening to, because we love audiobooks. And listening to audiobooks frees up time to do other stuff. Because in today's day and age, you need time.

One of the books that has been on my list for a really, really long time is the Three-Body Problem, written by Liu Cixin and translated by his brother, Ken Liu. This book series is a sci-fi and it's apparently being adapted for a TV series. I've been meaning to read this series for quite some time and I finally got it from my library. I read the first part, which is called Remembrance of Earth’s Past.

I like to think of myself as a sci-fi fan. I love sci fi films. I have very little patience with many sci fi books because they don’t try too hard. With this book, I came away really confused. The science fiction elements of it, they're all grounded in real science. Whether it’s actually real, don't ask me. I don't have a scientific background. But it's very much about formulae and stuff like that. They don't just say ‘quantum’ in front of everything.

But I don't know if it's the translation or if it is the intent of the author to make this book about characters who almost always come across as caricatures. It feels like he wrote this book with his tongue firmly in his cheek. But at the same time, not. I just don't know how I feel about this book. I am invested in this story but not in the characters. The characters are so flat, they just don't have any dimension to them.

The funniest thing is, the one character who's pretty much dead inside because she's seen stuff. She, to me, came across as the most multi-dimensional. And she's surrounded by all these male characters who just keep talking. But there's just nothing about them that brings them to life. I think the writer was more invested in creating these labs, this world, rather than creating his characters.

The biggest problem for me with this book was that it starts off with this rather grueling, brutal scene of this almost realistic occurrence. You can imagine a world where there is civil war or unrest, it could lead to an event like this, and is witnessed by this young person, and it affects her.

But then it goes bonkers. Then it becomes all this science stuff. And then there are aliens involved. And I am just like, do I like this book? Or am I just confused? And this book is award-winning; people love it. You definitely know how much they love it because now it's becoming a TV series. How are they going to convert any part of this particular book? I don't know about the two sequels. But this book is so much more about the machines that are working, the information that the machines are giving you. There’s so little of the characters that unless this TV show is going to be all spectacle, and no people, I don't know what they're planning to do.

And I kept feeling like there was supposed to be a political undercurrent. And there is, but it sort of got drowned out, especially in the last act by this weird, insane war that is coming or has come or will come. What even is this? Suffice to say that the concepts of this book worked in small doses. And then not so much. Like the main title of this book is actually a game, but the game has ramifications that go beyond just being a game. Again, there are these little bits which are so much more fascinating. But every time you get invested in it, that's it, the author pulls out.

I just don't know. I think that if you're interested in science and scientific, science-y language, and people doing science. This may scratch that itch, but at the same time it's so convoluted and confused, that you may come across as not being 100% invested in this world. I do wonder if the two sequels do draw you in more but before I can get to that I need a huge break.

Ron: Well, unlike you, the book series that I was listening to, I have no doubts how I feel about it. And that is: I absolutely despise it.

Mon: Oh, wow.

Ron: So, I had no idea of what Chaos Walking is. But they're making a movie out of it. And Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley from Spider-Man and Star Wars are going to be in it, so I thought, I'm gonna go check out the books.

The first book, The Knife of Never Letting Go, I quite liked the concepts. The main character Todd Hewitt is an idiot. I have no interest in this character. He is bland. He is uninteresting. He is very monotone and one-dimensional. He literally just gets to the end on the strengths of other characters. There is one female character in this book who has a fairly large role, but yeah, she's nothing more than damsel in distress and she does not speak for most of the book.

But the world that it's set in and some of the reactions that people have to being there, those I didn’t mind. I like the world-building. It’s just the character brought it down quite a bit. I also found the religious elements really jarring. I get that human beings need some religion and stuff. Why do we automatically have to assume that they're going to be Christians? I'm not sure how that works? It didn't feel like an universal experience was being captured in this book.

But then I got to the next two books and wow did it fall away. The second book was nothing short of a disaster. The Ask and the Answer tries to expand what we know of the world and actually ends up making it so much worse. The female character that we met in the first book, Viola, finally gets her own point of view. But her entire inner life surrounds Todd. Which makes absolutely no sense, because in the prequel to the first book, she lost her parents when she crash-landed on this planet. But somehow, all her inner thoughts are about this boy she just met and who is a loser. I'm so confused.

But then it gets worse. We learn that there is this native species who have been happily living on this world. And the humans that have arrived are basically colonising it. And they have enslaved the native race. Okay, fine. Are you trying to make a statement about what has really been happening with colonisation? Well, maybe the author wasn't reading the same history books I was. Because, my God, I don't know what he was thinking. There is a scene in this book that is so similar to the Jallianwala Bagh incident. And I was just like, you know what, only somebody who has not read this as part of their history would write this scene into his book and do it entirely from the colonisers’ point of view. And we are supposed to sympathize with Todd, who is so sad that these poor natives have been killed in front of him. Oh god, this book is so bad.

The third book is slightly Better than the second. We get a third point of view along with Todd and Viola’s, we got somebody from the massacre who has survived. But of course, he's angry and vengeful and does not care about anything else but trying to kill people. He still manages to be the most interesting part of the entire book, and also appears to be queer, it's hard to tell with this book. But nothing happens in this third book, Monsters of Men. It's so repetitive that there were times when I was actually wondering to myself if I was listening to the same chapters over and over again. Nothing happens. This book could have been one third the length, because so little happens in it. And it keeps trying to tell us that this connection between Todd and Viola is so strong that they’re ready to wage war for each other. And I'm like, really, for this guy?

What is frustrating was that Viola’s inner life is still, in the third book, concerned primarily with Todd, who still does nothing to deserve it. In fact, the longer you read this series, the more horrendous Todd becomes because not only is he self-absorbed and completely clueless about what is happening around him, even though it's happening right in front of his face. But he's so dumb! Like, my dude, what do you think is happening. People are fighting and you're siding with the person who's strongest because that's keeping you protected? And somehow that's supposed to making a good guy. Please don't ask me what this author was thinking, because I can't understand it.

And what’s frustrating is that from the start of the series to the end of the series. Todd has had no growth, but everybody keeps telling us that he has. He has grown so much, he has learned so much. Look at all the stuff that he's doing. He's not doing anything. He just keeps screaming all the time. It is such a disaster of a series. And I'm so annoyed that books like this that are so othering for anybody who's not a white dude or a white woman is the kind of book that's going to be made into a movie, which would probably be a huge blockbuster.

Mon: Well, one can hope not considering the production delays. I'm hoping it's an absolute disaster. And Daisy Ridley and Tom Holland completely washed their hands off it.

Ron: I have no hope for this. I'm just annoyed that something like this is actually even being optioned for film.

Mon: I agree with you. It sounds terrible.

Ron: The first book, I didn't mind the concepts in it, it was interesting. But the thing is that, the moment you start doing the race stuff, and you don't know what you're doing, it becomes obvious. And the second book, like literally that that scene was so reminiscent of Jallianwala Bagh, I was just like, do you not know what is happening in the world, what has happened in the world before it? How can you write this stuff, do you know the context that you're writing about? And to write it from Todd's point of view is just disgusting. Please refer to the show notes for a link.

Mon: Right. Going on to something a little bit lighter, but not sure if it's any better. Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I heard about this book on NPR’s ‘Pop Culture Happy Hour’. I have a habit of reading books on recommendation which gives me a wide, diverse variety of books to read. But a lot of times I don't like them. I wouldn't say I didn't like this book. What's this book about and why did I pick it up? This book is about the FSOTUS, the first son of the United States, Alex Claremont-Diaz, he’s a go getter and he has his eyes on the prize.

Currently, it is a very, very stressful time for his family. They are in the midst of a re-election campaign. And there is another senator who is champing at the bit to grab the big seat. Alex is very smart. He's very intelligent. He has an equally intelligent and smart sister, and his best friend. Everything's going well when they are invited to the royal wedding. And an incident takes place between Alex and his nemesis, the prince of England.

So, to save this PR scandal, Alex and Prince Henry, yes, that's his name in the book, they are told that they have to hang out together so that nobody thinks that England and the United States are at war, because of these two brats. Anyway, turns out the two of them have more in common than they expected. And then socio-political stuff will get in the way of their new found friendship. Or is it more?

This book was an experience. It is so much high drama, and set in a world that is completely removed from anything that we can imagine. We’re talking about people who literally live in Buckingham Palace and the White House.

Ron: Yeah, you're not gonna meet them on the street.

Mon: Exactly. And it’s so far fetched that you could either be completely invested in this world, or you're like, this is ridiculous. This book was like reading a Bollywood film. Everything is overdramatic, everything is high stakes, like every single move they make is the end of the world.

Ron: Oh my gosh.

Mon: A lot of it is told in text messages and emails. Which I guess works more when you're reading it, less when you're listening to it. I would say that the rest of it, because it's so dialogue heavy, it does feel like you're listening to a play when you're listening to the audiobook. That’s quite good. But my biggest issue with this book and why I couldn't be invested in it was because it really came across as fanfiction.

Ron: Oh no.

Mon: I don't know if that was the author's intent. But why on earth did the younger prince have to be called Prince Henry. Why did he have to have sandy hair and have gone to the army and this and that? And I'm like, really? This is like complete and utter fanfiction. I just wish that they had chosen anything different about this prince, because that completely ruined the experience for me, and I just cringed every time he comes on the page.

What I did like is that this is very new age. There are people of different sexualities, different genders. So that was really nice. There's a lot of interplay and banter between different kinds of characters. So that was fun. It's very interactive; the world is very different. I just finished the drama had been dialed down. It’s really dramatic. With everything, the world is ending. I get it, you are FSOTUS and he is the prince of England. Maybe you guys should have talked about it a little bit more.

I was surprised at how R-rated this book is. I thought this was just a YA book, but maybe this passes for YA, I don't know.

Ron: Did the NPR people mention that?

Mon: They did not. I feel like they only read the first few chapters and then they recommended it.

Ron: Oh no!

Mon: Yeah, stuff gets really hot and heavy later on. There's going to be a huge audience who actually loves this book. And I wouldn't be surprised if they are vocal about it. I would actually also not be surprised if it was optioned for a film because it is very visual, in the sense that it's so dialogue heavy, the characters really come alive. And considering the political space that we’re all in and how political we all feel this might be the kind of book which lends itself to a movie for varied audiences. I just don't think romance novels are for me.

Ron: But you gave it a shot.

Mon: I know reading different kinds of things, broadening my horizons. I guess romance is one thing that I will constantly find myself dabbling in and be like, not really.

Ron: It's just not the genre that speaks to us.

Mon: Yeah, that's true. If it's fun, I guess it's okay. But this was not fun because of all the drama. I get it, they're high stakes. It's just, tone it down.

Ron: Did you find that there was anything that you could actually resonate with despite the fact that it's about the FSOTUS and the prince of England?

Mon: Absolutely not. Also, they drink too much. I don't understand. Everybody's always drunk. Stop already.

Ron: But then what is the appeal of this kind of story, if you can't see yourself in it at all? Is it just aspirational then?

Mon: I think so. It's a little bit of a magical Prince Charming kind of book. So, I guess you could call it a Disney fairytale, but for a more representative audience. So, this is not all bad. It's just not for me.

Ron: That's interesting.

Mon: I think that there's not been that much queer content, so people will be hungry for more. And we'll get some good stuff. We've got some bad stuff. And we'll get some stuff which is for particular audiences and not for others. So yeah, I think this is gonna be exciting for some groups.

Ron: Well, it's great to see that we have the kind of career content we do. Just, we need to see who's behind the scenes, because it's not coming across as well as it should.

Mon: Yeah, I think it needs to be a bit more fresh. Because we are so inured to the stereotypes that we've already seen, and the tropes that we've already been faced with in so much pop culture, that just placing queer characters in those same tropes and stereotypes doesn't work. We've all grown out of that, we need more. And there's so many stories to tell.

So, like this book, Red, White and Royal Blue is it's a different take on the regular romance novel. But at the same time, it has its own issues. Every property does have issues and I'm not saying that we need to hold queer properties at higher standard. I'm just saying, we need to move beyond being safe. You can't get a pat on the back just because you put queer characters in your movie or in your book. You need to do more, you need to be more realistic or more fun.

Ron: And it needs to be more representative of the real queer experience and not just queer stories transplanted into state stories.

Mon: Agreed.

Ron: What have you been busy with? Let us know.

Ron: You can find us on Twitter @Stereo_Geeks. Or send us an email [email protected]

Ron: We hope you enjoyed this episode. And see you next week!

Mon: The Stereo Geeks logo was created using Canva. The music for our podcast comes courtesy Audionautix.

[Snowflake by GeriArt by Pixabay plays]

Transcription by Otter.ai and Mon and Ron.

#stereo geeks #chaos walking #christmas #christmas setup #dashing in december #three-body problem #podcast

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ramajmedia · 5 years

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Peter Jackson's Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes | ScreenRant

Peter Jackson is one of the most renowned directors working in Hollywood today. He might be most famous for bringing J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle-earth to life on the big screen (in true George Lucas fashion, he did it perfectly with one trilogy and then divided fans with a prequel trilogy), but he’s directed a bunch of movies besides that.

RELATED: 7 Things in Lord Of The Rings Canon That Peter Jackson Ignored

He actually got his start in the “splatter” subgenre of horror as a young filmmaker in New Zealand. Some of his movies have fared well with critics; others haven’t done so well. So, here are Peter Jackson’s Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes.

14 The Lovely Bones (32%)

Peter Jackson has only ever made one major misstep in his career, and The Lovely Bones is it. It’s about a teenage girl who is lured into a weird shrine by a pedophile (who couldn’t look more like a pedophile with the thick-rimmed glasses, greasy hair, and creepy smile) and then murdered.

She then wanders the Earth as a lost soul, watching her family as they reel from her death. It could’ve been a powerful work of teary-eyed young-adult coming-of-age drama in the right hands, but Jackson just didn’t strike the right tone and the movie failed as a result.

13 The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (59%)

It spelled trouble the second Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema decided to adapt The Hobbit as an eight-hour Lord of the Rings-style trilogy, because the book isn’t suited to that. It’s basically a fairy tale.

The Lord of the Rings encompasses three giant volumes, but The Hobbit can be read in an afternoon – where did the producers get the idea to adapt both of those to the same length? (Well, of course we know where: the promise of billions of dollars.) The third Hobbit movie focuses on “the Battle of the Five Armies,” an event that has absolutely nothing to do with any of the main characters, leaving them to be sidelined.

12 The Frighteners (63%)

In this horror comedy, Michael J. Fox plays an architect who finds himself able to communicate with ghosts and spirits following his wife’s death. This leads to a run-in with the specter of a mass murderer and the Grim Reaper himself.

One critic has described The Frighteners as a cross between Ghostbusters and Twin Peaks, but it doesn’t have the heft of either of those projects. Tonally, that description is right on the money, but whereas those two can be watched over and over again and never become tiresome, this one runs out of steam before the end of the first viewing.

11 The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (64%)

It wasn’t too long after The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey hit theaters that fans started calling it The Phantom Menace of Peter Jackson’s Middle-earth saga. As the first installment of a prequel trilogy to a beloved and almost perfect cinematic saga that overuses CGI effects, has too many cheesy comedic characters, and ultimately fails to live up to the original, it’s fair to say that that’s an accurate description.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why The Hobbit Trilogy Wasn't As Good As The Lord Of The Rings (And 5 Why It Was Better)

Sitcom star Martin Freeman has too much of a cynical, wink-to-the-audience quality to carry the weight of one of these trilogies on his shoulders. The Fellowship of the Ring, this ain’t.

10 Bad Taste (68%)

Peter Jackson’s directorial debut certainly lives up to its title. It combines horror, science fiction, action, horror, and a healthy dose of its titular tastelessness for a delightful, if gut-wrenching romp.

Like most first-time directors tackling an indie feature, Jackson leaned into his low budget and made a big-budget movie on a low budget for a rough, messy, but endlessly fun moviegoing experience. The plot sees an alien fast food chain coming to Earth to grind up human beings into meat for their burgers, and it only gets more absurd from there. Surprisingly, Bad Taste put Jackson on the film industry’s radar.

9 Meet the Feebles (71%)

Moviegoers enjoyed the novelty of Jim Henson-style puppets appearing in an R-rated movie with tons of swearing, sex, and graphic violence a couple of years ago in The Happytime Murders. However, Peter Jackson had reveled in this gimmick – and with much more effective results – years earlier with his film Meet the Feebles.

The black-comic tone of the film might not be to every viewer’s tastes, but with catchy musical numbers and a perverse puppeteering style, Meet the Feebles expertly uses juxtaposition to its favor. It’s an adult-oriented delight for people who grew up on Sesame Street and The Muppet Show.

8 The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (74%)

If The Hobbit had been adapted as a two-part film as Guillermo del Toro intended and not stretched out to a trilogy, it would’ve been another story.

In The Desolation of Smaug, scenes that last a paragraph in the book and never should’ve been included in a film adaptation in the first place, due to their lack of consequences and relevance to the plot, are dragged out into half-hour set pieces. In Peter Jackson’s quest to make The Hobbit films as grand and epic as The Lord of the Rings films, what we got are movies that don’t feel grand or epic, but are really lo-o-o-ong.

7 King Kong (84%)

Since the original King Kong is one of cinema’s most revered classics, Peter Jackson took on a practically Herculean responsibility when he signed on to remake it. Jackson has said that he was struck by how much the original made him care about the titular ape, so that’s what he strived to do with this remake.

And it’s fair to say, since he used the motion-capture technology he pioneered with The Lord of the Rings trilogy and cast his Gollum, Andy Serkis, to play Kong, he managed it. We’re never on Carl Denham’s side – we see that the ape is just a fool in love.

6 Braindead (86%)

In his early days as the “splatter” king of New Zealand, Peter Jackson made this hilariously gory horror comedy about a man living with his mother who gets into trouble when he beds the wrong girl and a rabid rat-monkey turns the town into a horde of the undead.

Although it wasn’t a big box office success on its release, Braindead quickly became a cult classic, and in Time Out’s survey of the horror genre’s foremost actors, directors, and writers, Braindead was determined to be the 91st greatest horror film of all time. Simon Pegg also noted it as a huge influence on Shaun of the Dead.

5 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (91%)

Peter Jackson was shooting all three Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back, so if the first one didn’t hit, he would’ve been in a lot of trouble. The first chapter had to make such a strong impression on audiences that they’d be willing to commit to two more movies over the next couple of years.

Thankfully, The Fellowship of the Ring made that impression. It introduced audiences to characters they could root for – Frodo, Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, the whole gang – and successfully sold the weight of what was at stake with a stunning prologue and an ensuing narrative to back it up.

4 Heavenly Creatures (92%)

Heavenly Creatures was Peter Jackson’s cinematic dramatization of the Parker-Hulme murder case, which rocked Christchurch in 1954 and has continued to echo throughout the New Zealand consciousness – in books, plays, novels, and of course, movies – ever since. The shocking case saw a 16-year-old girl and her 15-year-old friend murder the 16-year-old’s mother.

Until then, Jackson was known as the “splatter” guy – this movie proved he was a real filmmaker. This was the movie that gave Kate Winslet and, to a lesser extent, Melanie Lynskey (best known as Charlie’s stalker Rose from Two and a Half Men) their big breaks, and earned Jackson and his co-writer Fran Walsh an Oscar nod for Best Original Screenplay.

3 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (93%)

The closing chapter of Peter Jackson’s big-screen adaptation of The Lord of the Rings trilogy ended things in such a satisfying way that the Academy gave it a record number of nominations, and then when it won every single award it was up for, it also set the record for most wins.

RELATED: Everything We Know (So Far) About Amazon's Lord Of The Rings Series

And bear in mind that it’s unheard of for the Academy to even consider awarding a fantasy movie. Shooting the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy back-to-back was a monumental and ambitious undertaking, but it’s clear from The Return of the King that Jackson was up to the task and then some.

2 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (95%)

The second part of a trilogy tends to be the best – The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather Part II, The Road Warrior, the list goes on – because it doesn’t have to set anything up and wind anything down. It’s a stepping stone; it’s all action.

However, most Lord of the Rings fans would consider The Return of the King to be slightly better than The Two Towers, because it’s the epic finale and, against all odds, it’s actually a satisfactory conclusion to the story. But then again, The Two Towers has the breathtakingly cinematic Battle of Helm’s Deep sequence that the MCU attempts to top three times a year.

1 They Shall Not Grow Old (100%)

The most impressive achievement of this World War I documentary is the colorized imagery. Peter Jackson took grainy, black-and-white photographs from 1914-1918 and gave them a splash of color and a touch-up to make them look like they were taken today by an HD digital camera.

As a tribute to all the young men who fought in the First World War, many of whom gave their lives, They Shall Not Grow Old is a powerful and poignant study that more than earns its rare 100% rating. The fact that the doc was released in 2018, exactly 100 years after the conflict ended, is the icing on the cake.

NEXT: David Fincher's Movies, Ranked By Rotten Tomatoes

source https://screenrant.com/peter-jacksons-movies-ranked-rotten-tomatoes/

#screenrant

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cajunroe · 7 years

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baberoe + teacher/parent!au ( + teacher!babe + doctor/parent!gene) ↳ all his life, babe has wanted to teach. he wasn’t really particular about where or what grade, he just knew that he wanted to help kids with the difficulties that come with growing up. turns out, early education was his calling. he’d grown up teaching the kids in his neighborhood geometry and art history and biology, and he was good at it. he loved it. it only made sense to make a career out of it. it’s been three years and he loves his job teaching first graders. they’re energetic, smart, hilarious, and challenging. everyday gets to be an adventure. two weeks into the new school year and his life completely changes. a young girl named charlie, with sharp blue eyes, light red hair, a sassy attitude, a southern accent, and a jean jacket with the band rancid on the back, is transferred into his class. babe likes her from the moment she slaps bobby wittmore for trying to steal her cookie. before he knows it, it’s november and time for parent teacher conferences. babe is always nervous, he teaches at an elite elementary school and the parents can be intimidating. charlie is the last conference and her father is twenty minutes late before running through the door, charlie in tow. babe’s jaw drops at the flustered man standing in the classroom doorway. pale skin, hair as dark as night, light pink lips stretched across bright white teeth, and a deep, gravely voice apologizing for being late and babe is down for the count. he feels something in him shift, and feels like this man was someone he didn’t know he was looking for. he feels like home.

“hi mr. heffron!” charlie waved excitedly from the doorway before running up to babe and giving him a hug.

“hiya charlie! how are you?”

charlie shrugged and sighed like her troubles were weighing her down and babe fought another smile.

“honestly, i could be better, mr. h. betty johnson stole my red crayon at recess today.”

babe leaned in close, “we’ll just have to get you a whole new pack of crayons, won’t we?”

charlie smiled wide and put her hand up for a high five.

babe returned it before giving her a coloring book and crayons.

he looked up to the girl’s father and his heart started hammering in his chest, nervous for an entirely different reason.

“you must be gene. hi, i’m mr. heffron, but you can call me babe.”

the man’s eyebrows rose as he shook babe’s hand.

babe laughed curtly, “real name’s edward, but ain’t nobody called me that since catholic school.”

charlie’s father squinted at him and it made babe’s palm sweat.

he jerkily gestured to the seat in front of his desk, “please have a seat.”

“i’m sorry for bein’ late, but i’m a surgeon at the hospital downtown. with the move and everything, it’s been a little difficult to adjust and get our schedule down.”

babe smiled, “it’s no problem. it’s not like i had anything better to do.”

smooth babe. real smooth.

he cleared his throat, “anyway, as much as you’re having difficulty adjusting, charlie is thriving.”

charlie piped up, “hear that dad? i’m thriving.”

babe laughed and he saw gene smile fondly. babe could fall in love with that smile.

“her grades are excellent and she’s reading at a second grade level. you have a very bright daughter.”

gene’s looked shifted from anxious to proud, like he was worried on hearing something else.

“i hope you don’t mind me asking, but why the sudden move?”

gene ran a hand through his hair, “i was offered a position at the hospital here that was too good to pass up. i asked charlie if she wanted to live in phiily and she asked me if there was snow here. when i told her yes, she immediately ran to start packing.”

babe laughed and saw the love and adoration gene had for his daughter. if babe could’ve swooned he would’ve.

“well charlie is an incredible girl and you didn’t hear it from me,” babe leaned in to whisper the last part, “but she is probably my favorite student.”

gene laughed and babe felt the warm breath fan across his face and he blushed.

“that’s awful nice of you, mr. heffron.”

“please call me babe.”

they stared at one another for a moment too long before charlie slammed a picture on babe’s desk.

“here ya go mr. h. i made it for you.”

babe looked and saw who he thought to be himself, charlie, and gene all walking in the park together.

“that you and me and then daddy. i was gonna draw a dog, but i don’t know what kind of dog i wanna get yet. daddy say i have to wait until the summer to pick one out.”

babe was tickled pink, but saw how uncomfortable gene was becoming.

“thank you charlie, i’ll be sure to put it somewhere special.”

she smiled brightly and skipped back to the desk.

“i-i’m sorry about that, she has no filter, just like her mother.”

babe’s heart sank a little.

“i don’t mean to pry, but both parents usually like to come together.”

gene smiled sadly, “she died when charlie was born. it’s just been us two since then.”

babe mentally slapped himself across the face.

“i-i’m so sorry gene, i didn’t mean to…”

gene smile warmly again, “it’s okay. she was a best friend and we’d gotten way too drunk one night, but i’d make that decision ten times over if it meant i got charlie.”

gene’s eyes widened, he didn’t offer that information to everyone, but something about his daughter’s teacher’s open expression made him want to tell him everything.

babe’s heart melted and he cursed whoever was bringing this man into his life because he was ruining every other man for him in a thirty minute meeting.

“she’s blessed to have you, gene. you’re doing a wonderful job.”

gene let out a sigh of relief, “i gotta say i’m glad to hear you say that. with the move and doin’ everything on my own, i feel like i’m just guessing at everything. i never feel like i’m doin’ enough, you know?”

babe leaned forward and placed a hand gently on gene’s, attempting to comfort the man, “trust me gene, you’re doing more than a lot of the parents i see. and most of them are parents living off their spouse’s or family’s wealth. you are working full time and trying to raise a five year old on your own. believe me, you’re doin’ just fine.”

babe smiled reassuringly and gene placed a hand on top of gene’s.

babe opened his mouth to say something, anything, when someone interrupted.

“babe, you gotta tell web that there’s such a thing as bigfoot. he won’t believe m-am i interrupting?”

babe and charlie bit out a, “yes,” just as gene said, “no.”

“charlize grab your thing, we need to get home.”

charlie grunted and glared at lieb before walking to babe and giving him a hug.

“bye bye mr. h! see ya tomorrow.”

“bye charlie,” babe extended his hand to gene, “pleasure to meet you gene.”

he smiled gently and received a tight, slightly uncomfortable one in return.

“mr. heffron.”

they were walking out the door before babe could correct him…again.

lieb spoke up, web silent beside him.

“sorry babe, didn’t mean to interrupt your,” he gestured in the room, “thing.”

babe sighed, “it’s fine,” then he shouted, “david webster bigfoot is one hundred percent real.”

web flew into a rage shouting at the two men and the three left together, lieb and web still arguing, while babe thought about the man he’d met tonight.

the next few weeks flew by and before babe knew it, it was nearly time for christmas break.

for the past week he’d dedicated each day to different traditions and religious practices around the world. today was the last day and after a holiday themed spelling test, he decided to let the children relax and watch ‘a charlie brown christmas’ and enjoy the rice krispie treats they got to make during art.

as they settled in on the floor, babe sat at his desk and watch the snow slowly fall. he really loved his life sometimes. his phone buzzed and normally he didn’t answer during work, but it was the day before break and he wasn’t teaching right now.

lieb: web is having an easy family thing at his place on sunday, you down?

babe: yeah, provided my family doesn’t drag me into their twelve days of christmas extravaganza. i swear my ma makes shit up every year.

lieb: lol i don’t even know what her tinsel tower tango was supposed to be. everyone just got drunk and passed out. he said to invite bill and fran, he invited the rest of the guys.

babe: haha! it was a disaster. and will do, doubt they’ll miss it. fran has been helping kitty with wedding planning and i think bill could use some guy time.

lieb: i’m cracking up at bill picking out linens.

lieb: shit i gotta go, bobby jackson keeps pulling layla hyde’s bra strap.

babe laughed softly, counting his blessings that he only has to deal with hair pulling and name calling.

the final bell rang and babe helped the kids bundle up to brave the cold outside before seeing them out the door.

he passed them to the carpool volunteers, went back into the warm school, and answer a call from bill.

“heya babe.”

“hey bill, what’s up?”

“just callin’ to see how you’re holding up since lieb and web crashed your date.”

babe groaned, “it wasn’t a date bill. gene is a student’s father, nothin’ more.”

“uh uh and pig are flyin’ out my ass. you’re lying babe.”

“fine i like him, a lot, but he don’t want anything to do with me bill. i’m just charlie’s teacher.”

babe reached his classroom, head down, and sat down at his desk heavily.

“yup, just his kid’s teacher. nothing that gene roe would ever want to be a part of his life.”

“alright, enough of this whiney bullshit. we’re going to the bar tonight because if i’m asked one more question about color schemes, i’m gonna shoot myself.”

babe laughed, “okay, see you at the 501st at eight.”

gene was nervous. he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a night off, let alone a night out. but as it was, he was getting ready to go to some popular bar with a couple of friends from work.

charlie was helping him choose what to wear.

he held up to dress shirts.

“neither. just the tshirt dad.”

“baby, it’s twenty degrees outside and daddy isn’t used to anything below sixty.”

“then wear that leather jacket you got to match mine.”

gene smiled, he loved how brazen and fearless his daughter was, especially when it came to her choice in clothing.

“you got it kid.”

gene put it on and held his hands out for her final decision. he was wearing all black from head to toe and it offset his pale skin in the way he liked and knew other men liked as well.

“perfect daddy! you look like james dean but better!”

gene laughed and picked up his daughter throwing her over his shoulder.

he set her down on the counter and got her one of her favorite snacks.

she was chewing loudly when she asked a question that had gene stop in his track from tying his boots.

“daddy, will i ever have another daddy?”

gene didn’t look up, continuing his process, albeit with shaky hands.

“what do you mean princess?”

“like cindy martinez has two mommies and kyle brinker has two daddies. you explained it all to me and i wanna know if you want to find us another daddy.”

“am i not enough sweetheart?”

“of course you are, but sometimes i need another dad for when you’re not here.”

gene’s heart broke a little, but he smiled at his daughter’s inquiry.

“one day, charlie, one day.”

“you should make mr. heffron my new daddy. i like him a lot and he said that he’d be lucky if he had a kid like me.”

gene frowned, he’d been trying to keep his daughter’s teach out of his mind. something about the man clinging to gene and refusing to let go. gene did always have a thing for redheads.

“charlie, i don’t think it’d be appropriate. he’s your teacher and,” someone knocked at the door and gene took charlie down from the counter and plopped her on the floor, “it’s complicated baby.”

charlie shouted, “but he likes you daddy. like likes you like johnny like me. he told someone named bill that he does.”

gene didn’t know which point to tackled first. his daughter wasn’t a liar, something he’d tried to instill in her since the start and she had taken to it with gusto. the second that babe had talked about him to someone and said he liked him. gene would’ve given anything to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.

“we’ll talk later charlie. the babysitter’s here.”

gene made introductions and was gathering his stuff to leave.

“alright charlie, come say bye to your old man.”

charlie ran into his arms and gene loved when she hugged him like that.

“be good and please try not to discuss politics with this one.”

charlie ruffled her father’s hair.

“i don’t make promises i can’t keep daddy.”

gene laughed and left.

babe sighed into his beer, bill was talking his ear off about work and he was listening but his mind kept shifting back to gene. god he was crushing harder than he did when he was in grade school. but gene was so magnetic that babe just couldn’t let go.

“god i ain’t see you this lovesick since that jack guy a coupla years back.”

babe groaned, “i’m not lovesick, gene just,” babe looked past bill and his heart stopped when he saw the door open, “is here.”

babe ducked under the table and he wasn’t sure why.

“what babe?” bill ducked under the table with babe.

“he’s here he just walked through the door.”

bill looked, “which one there’s like five guys.”

babe looked up, “which one? the pretty one.”

bill leveled a look at babe that said ‘be more specific dumbass.’

“the pretty one with the black hair and blue eyes that make you wanna stare at them all day,” babe sighed.

“christ, you in love with this guy?”

babe scoffed, not necessarily in denial, “no, there’s no way.”

“you sound like me when i talk about frannie.”

“okay…maybe…a little. no, wait, that’s crazy right?”

bill laugh, “babe ain’t nothin’ about your life ever been sane. your mother’s christmases can attest to that.”

babe laughed and looked over to where gene was laughing with his friends.

“he’s something else, bill.”

he looked to bill and saw a smile that had always made babe weary. it was a smile that told babe that bill was about to do something that he wouldn’t like and more often than not would end up with them in trouble, in a fight, or in jail.

“well, if he’s the guy for you then i gotta meet him don’t i?”

before babe could stop him bill was halfway across the room and made his way right next to where gene was standing.

babe wanted to look away, run away, and hide, but he couldn’t.

he saw bill grab a glass of wine off the bar and interrupt the conversation the gene was having with his friends.

he saw bill laugh and gene smile before being handed a glass of wine and then…

oh shit

bill was pointing directly at babe and babe and gene made eye contact and both men’s eyes widened.

babe waved, awkward and turned back to finish his beer in one full drink.

gene was startled when the slightly abrasive man started talking directly to him.

“listen man, my best friend thinks you’re something else, he’s just a little shy. this is from him and he’s right over there,” bill pointed to babe and gene followed his finger.

when his eyes caught babe’s his heart skipped. fuck.

“well shit, charlie was right.”

bill laughed, “your daughter right?”

gene nodded.

“babe thinks she hung the moon, i’ve never heard him talk about one of his kids like that.”

gene smiled, “i’ve never heard charlie talk about a teacher like she does him. she really likes him. and i happen to know for a fact that she hung the moon.”

bill laughed, “well i gotta go, the missus is gonna kill me if i’m late again.”

he moved to walk away but turned back to gene, “two things, babe’s been my friend since we was in diapers. you hurt him, i hurt you. got it?”

gene nodded solemnly, the threat very clear.

“and two, he’s head over heels for ya, doc. so don’t blow it.”

gene watched bill yell his goodbye to babe across the bar.

he swallowed a hefty amount of his wine before making his way across the bar.

fuck. shit. no. oh my god. i’m gonna kill bill. shit he looks so good. it’s illegal how good he looks right now. and oh my god he’s smiling at me. why is he smiling like that.

“good evening.” gene said in a low voice.

“fuck me,” babe breathed out and then immediately blushed.

“maybe once we get to know each other.” gene winked and babe felt like he melted into a puddle of goo.

gene laughed and sat across from babe, taking a long drink of his glass of wine.

“so,” babe started, “now that i’ve been thoroughly embarrassed. fancy meeting you here.”

gene laughed warmly, “i could say the same about you. it’s..it’s good to see you babe.”

“you too gene”

“i wa-”

“hey gene! you called me babe!”

gene narrowed his eyes, “i did? when?”

babe smiled, “just now.”

gene laughed, “babe,” he drawled liking the way it felt on his tongue, “i guess i did.”

babe laughed with him then tried to imitate gene’s voice, “babe.”

the look on gene’s face would have been considered annoyed if he didn’t look so damn fond and lovestruck. it knock the breath of out babe’s lungs.

“heffron, order me another glass of goddamn wine.”

babe laughed and bit his lip, you got it gene.”

that night, as the two migrated closer to one another, they got to know each other.

gene found out about babe’s insecurities as a teacher and babe found out more about gene’s insecurities as a father. they talk about their pasts, their presents, and their hopes for the future. they talked until most of the bar had emptied and there was barely any space between them in the booth.

“you charlie is a really great kid. i mean that gene. if i ever have kids…if they were even a tenth of what charlie is, i’d be happy.”

gene looked at his hands and then back up at babe, “she, uh, she told me you told her that.”

babe’s eyes widened.

“she also a-asked me if i would ever find her another daddy. and then she suggested i ask you because she heard you talking to bill, who i assumed is the man who approached me tonight?”

babe nodded, hanging on every word coming out of gene’s mouth, like he was dreaming and would never dare wake up.

“she said you were talking to him and saying how much you like me…like like me, as she put it. and who’s this johnny she keeps talk-”

gene was cut off by babe’s warm hands holding onto his face and his warm, soft lips caressing and gliding over his own.

he responded instantly, pulling babe into his arms and breathing in everything about babe, feeling like he was coming home after a long day. kissing babe made him feel like everything was right and okay and would always be that way.

when they pulled apart, gene kept them close, by placing his head on babe’s shoulder.

babe whispered, “wow,” completely in shock over what he’d just experienced.

gene laughed, “yeah.”

babe pulled gene’s head up and kissed him again.

“gene, would you like to go to dinner with me? properly, i mean. i-i want to do this right. i can’t screw it up. not with you.”

gene smiled, falling even more in love with the man in front of him than he already was. he really did have a thing for redheads.

“i’d love that babe.”

babe kissed gene again and felt everything finally fall in place.

two years later.

babe really hated pta meetings. since he and gene had gotten married, they agreed to share full parental duties. that included pta. carol hastings, the chairwoman of the board, was a prissy, stuck up woman who insisted everything be done exactly her way. and she always demanded she make the brownies for all the bake sales. babe seethed the last time he was assigned popcorn balls. he made phenomenal brownies, goddamn it.

so it was the christmas pageant planning meeting and carol was being a fucking tyrant. declaring that anything anyone suggested was out of the question.

“christ she’s got a stick up her ass, don’t she?” lieb grunted.

babe laughed, “yeah. she still won’t let me make brownies. and she even brought them here just to shove it in my fucking face, i swear.”

babe was livid about the damn brownies, but he needed to be calm and wait for carol to announce the pageant singers for this year.

charlie had practiced for weeks for a solo and babe watched happily and proudly as she nailed it. he just knew she was going to get it.

“…and the last soloist of the year will be peter hastings.”

the crowd slowly clapped, some fed up and other not surprised that her own son was going to solo.

babe. was. pissed.

he stood up and pointed at the woman in front, “fuck you carol! charlie deserves that part and you know it!”

the other parents gasped, but some looked at babe like he was leading a revolution.

bethany hart stood up, babe had always liked her since she spiked the punch at the pta end of the year party last year, “yeah and you never let any of us pick the themes for the dances.”

bob chardon stood up next, “and my wife jessica made amazing bouquets for the banquet last year and you threw them out!”

as others stood up and demanded a new chairperson, babe was fueled.

he strode over to the table by the front of the stage.

he grabbed the tray of brownies. brownies that should’ve been his.

“and everyone hates your goddamn brownies.”

he threw them on the ground and the crowd cheered.

lieb was dying of laughter, god he and web should have kids if it led to shit like this.

he saw babe storm out and followed him.

babe was laughing but looked scared, “gene’s gonna fucking kill me.”

after babe had calmed charlie down after breaking the news of her not getting the solo.

she was all tucked in and asleep and babe trudged downstairs.

he grabbed a beer from the fridge and sighed after a long sip.

gene walked through the door and the look on his face told babe they were about to argue.

more like, babe was about to get yelled at.

twenty minutes later, babe was proven right. gene was yelling at him.

“and i can’t believe you destroyed her brownies. carol is vindictive and shows favoritism, but christ babe we have to still see these people.”

babe nodded. he didn’t feel bad, carol had deserved it for the years they’ve had to tolerate her.

“and i had to tell her some shit about my job adding stress and i’ve been working long hours so you’ve had more on your plate.”

babe stopped there.

“what the fuck gene? that woman doesn’t deserve anything less than the truth. and she certainly doesn’t need to know jack shit about our family.”

gene sighed, “what was i supposed to do babe? she was going to demand for you resignation. i had to talk her down.”

babe was taken aback by that. his shoulder slumped in exhaustion.

“i-i’m sorry gene, that woman is just horrible. and she purposely didn’t give charlie the solo just so her untalented son could have the solo. i only just got our daughter to calm down. she was devastated.”

gene’s heart swelled every time babe used the word “out” to describe their family. “our” home. “our” life. “our” love. “our daughter. the last one was his personal favorite.

“i’m sorry babe, but we’ll get through this. if i have to go to meeting from now on, i will. i didn’t realize it was so brutal. and charlie will be okay, she doesn’t deserve that, she deserves that solo, but she’s strong and resilient. she’ll be okay.”

babe sighed and pulled gene to him, “i just love you both so much. it’s hard not to want to protect and fight for you both. that’s how i’ve always shown my love, even since i was a kid. bill and i had too many black eyes as kids.”

gene smiled and pulled babe into a soft, but strong, kiss.

“i love you babe heffron.”

babe breathed out a sigh of relieved tension, “god, i love you gene roe.”

they heard a soft yawn and charlie sleepily asked, “you guys fighting?”

gene laughed and moved to pick up charlie, “no baby, we’re just talking.”

babe looked at his family with nothing but pure love and adoration in his eyes and gene fell in love all over again.

“hey princess, i think papa needs to be cheered up. why don’t we give him your christmas present early?”

charlie perked up, “really?!”

gene nodded, “yeah.”

he put charlie down and she ran like the wind to the large tree in their living room.

gene pulled out his phone, needed to commemorate this moment forever.

babe sat on the kitchen floor with charlie in his lap.

“let’s see what this is, my queen. a present for a lowly servant like me.”

charlie laughed, “you’re not a servant papa, you’re a knight in shining armor.”

babe delivered a kiss to the top of charlie’s head as he finished ripping the wrapping paper off the picture frame.

as he read the paper inside the simple frame, his hands shook and tears ran down his cheeks.

charlie jumped up and wrapped her arms around babe who hugged her tight and looked at gene in absolute astonishment and pure love and happiness.

gene moved to the floor to join his husband and daughter.

he kissed babe until they were absolutely breathless.

“merry christmas papa!”

“merry christmas charlie!”

“merry christmas daddy!”

“merry christmas princess!”

gene whispered against babe’s lips, “merry christmas babe.”

babe laughed and whispered back, “merry christmas gene.”

on that kitchen floor, in a simple macaroni and rhinestone frame made by their daughter, sat a paper that stated that edward heffron had full parental and custodial rights of charlize antoinette roe. charlie was officially and legally his. as was gene.

on that kitchen floor, babe’s entire world came together.

@jim-bones-spock - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THIS PROMPT WAS AN ABSOLUTE GODSEND AND I HOPE YOU LOVE IT BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY DO. <3

send me a pairing and an au and i’ll make an aesthetic post + ficlet

#baberoe #babe x roe #babe heffron #eugene roe #band of brothers #I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING #GOD THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF #roe x babe #roe #babe #bobs #MY STUFF #my edits #my writing

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kassandra-lorelei · 6 years

Note

Can you at least pretend to be romantic for once? : n-cc

Here we are, my friend! I do apologise for how long all of these requests are taking, I’m helping to run my university’s summer film festival and it’s taking up a lot of my time, in between doing things to try and get myself a job. At any rate, I hope you enjoy this, and I’ll be getting on the rest of these requests as soon as I can!

@missbabcocks1 @holomoriarty

“Sir? Is it alright if I come in?”

The voice at the door didn’t particularly surprise Niles, itjust vaguely irritated something in his mind. It had been that way ever sinceJonah Sheffield had started dating Charity-Charlotte, his and C.C.’s eldestdaughter. It didn’t seem to matter how polite the boy was to them (he’d startedcalling Niles “sir” as soon as it even looked like the two might date), or how nicehe was to Charity. She was still their little girl, and the thought of herrunning off to be with some man filled Niles’ heart with an inexplicable dread.

C.C. hadn’t been on his side at all, of course. She remindedhim that they’d all known Jonah his entire life, and that there wasn’t a finer youngman anywhere. He was their godson, for Pete’s sakes, and not trusting him wasin turn not trusting Charity’s decision, as well as insulting how Fran and Maxwellhad raised their son for the past almost-nineteen years.

It was this fact alone that meant he was still polite to theboy. It was just difficult for him to be openly welcoming when he thought abouthow Charity was involved…

He shook the image out of his mind in repulsion, looked upat where Jonah was stood in the doorway to the den wrenching his hands, andclosed his newspaper, folding it over.

“I suppose it is,” he said, putting the paper down on the coffeetable. “Though you do know that Charity isn’t here right now?”

Jonah took an unsure step into the room, still wringing hishands like he didn’t know what to do with them.

“No, I know…she’s, uh, actually the reason I came overhere,” he replied, before swallowing and gesturing to a nearby chair. “May I?”

The boy looked…nervous. Like he had something particularlyserious he wanted to discuss.

What could it possibly…

He couldn’t want to…

He wasn’t asking for…

Niles felt his chest start to tighten, and tried to remember if it was the same feeling as just before he’d had his heart attack.

He just about choked out an answer, “Please do.”

“Thank you,” Jonah seated himself, pausing to apparently tryand think. Then he huffed out a breath, and ran a hand through his dark hair.“Wow…now that I’m here, I don’t really know how to start…!”

“Why not try at the beginning?” Niles suggested, his mind racingas he felt his mouth go dry – what was he going to do?

“Oh, well, yeah,” Jonah nodded, and then gulped. “It’s just…hardto explain. You see, Charity and I have been having some…issues.”

That sent some relief to Niles in some ways, but it also createda lot of tension in others.

“Issues?”

Jonah shrugged, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “She’salways going on about us being closer as a couple – going on long walks on thebeach, having fancy dinners in nice restaurants, that kind of thing.”

Niles felt his mouth form a line.

“I see,” he said, now visibly unimpressed. “And you considerthis a problem?”

“Not a problem, exactly…it’s just that I don’t know how toact in those kind of situations,” Jonah explained. “She’s always asking thingslike “Can you at least pretend to be romantic for once?” and I wanna try, but Iknow the answer is no, I can’t! It feels forced and stupid!”

Well, that certainly hadn’t been the answer he’d beenexpecting. He expected most young men – particularly ones that came calling forhis daughters – to just write the entire situation off as stupid and not worthyof their time or effort.

But there was something which still didn’t entirely makesense.

“If I might ask, why did you come to me about this?” heasked. “Why not your own parents?”

“You know how Mom and Dad are; he won’t know what to say,and she’ll set something up which’ll end up being enormously over the topthat’ll all go wrong anyway,” Jonah sighed, rubbing his forehead. “And you and AuntC.C. have such a great marriage, I thought that maybe you’d know how to help.”

That had not only been an answer Niles wasn’t expecting – itgenuinely threw him. Most people noted how unconventional he and C.C. were, butnone of them had ever really talked about how good their marriage was, apartfrom Fran and Maxwell. It had just been a fact that they knew, and were happywith.

And a similarly happy voice answered Jonah’s plea from thedoorway.

“We can certainly try.”

Niles looked up, and once he’d spotted his wife’s grinningface, he presented her with an unimpressed look of his own.

“How long have you been listening in over there?”

“Long enough,” she replied, coming in at last and seatingherself on the arm of his chair so that his arm would be curled around herwaist if he reached up. “But don’t worry, Hazel – it wasn’t long enough todethrone you as this family’s resident yenta.”

She gave him a teasing kiss on the cheek, and turned tosmile at their godson.

“How do you want us to help, Jonah?”

“I’d really like some pointers on how to be romantic,” theboy answered. “Without it being all weird.”

Niles cocked his head to one side a little, “What do youmean, “all weird”?”

“Well…I mean like you,” there was a pause as Jonah thenrealised how that sounded and threw his hands up to his face in agitation as hetried to backtrack. “Oh, no, no, no! I mean that I don’t want it to be weird, Iwant it to be like the two of you have it! You just…fit together so naturally,and the romance is obvious without it being over the top, you know?”

He let out another sigh, and ran his hands through his hairagain. He was clearly in some distress over it.

“I want things to be like that, with me and Charity. I wantto go on adventures with her, and laugh, and have fun. Without any of itlooking like those stupid couples you see on Lifetime or something…”

If he was in distress over wanting to do things right, justnot knowing how, Niles thought he could feel his respect for Jonah going backup. Only a little, but enough to want to help.

After all, if it was Charity’s future happiness as well asJonah’s, he wanted to do everything possible to make sure the boy did thingscorrectly. And he had to start by learning that sometimes, occasional over-the-topromance wasn’t the worst thing for a relationship.

“Why is it so bad if it’s like that?” he asked, sounding moreserious but less angry.

Jonah gestured as if it was obvious, “It…well, it all looksso fake!”

Niles fixed him with a hard stare, “Are your feelings forour daughter fake?”

The very question looked like it horrified Jonah, “No! Ofcourse not!”

“Then why would any romantic gesture be fake?” Niles leaned forward,making sure he looked the boy in the eyes.

Jonah thought about it, a look of realisation slowly comingover his face.

“It…wouldn’t be,” he said. “It would all be from me.”

His answer satisfied Niles some, but then the boy appearedto realise something else and shook his head again, ducking his head awaytowards the floor.

“But I don’t know how I could possibly go from this to big,grand romantic gestures!”

Niles felt C.C. shift next to him. He could already tellthat she’d had an idea.

“Why don’t you try starting with something small?” she proposed.“Like a practice?”

Jonah blinked up at her, “A practice?”

“Yeah – something small but romantic, to ease you into theprocess?” she said, sounding pleased with herself. “I know a man who startedoff by wearing his best suit, and bringing a gift of flowers.”

Niles held back his smirk at that. He had to watch for Jonah’sreaction.

“Suit. Flowers,” the boy began to smile, and nodded confidently.“Yeah…I can do that!”

“You might try writing a little apology note on it, too,” Nilespiped up. “For not realising all of this before.”

“Niles!” his wifehissed, clearly displeased by his implication.

But Jonah held out a hand to stop her.

“No, Aunt C.C., he’s right…!” he lowered his arm again. “He’sright. I do owe Charity an apology for how I’ve been behaving, and for nottrying. I’ll…I’ll come over tonight, bring the flowers and my apology. And,maybe if it isn’t too much…I’ll offer to take her to dinner, too.”

That seemed to placate the television producer, and shestarted to smile.

“That sounds just fine by us, doesn’t it Niles?” she turnedto her husband, slipping her arm around his shoulders.

After everything that had just happened, there was only onething that Niles could reply. He might not have liked the boy, but he wasmaking an actual effort to respect Charity, and to treat her the way that shedeserved.

He had to be alright with that.

So, he nodded, “Yes…it’s just fine by us.”

Jonah’s eyes shone, and he practically leapt to his feet.

“Thank you both so much for this,” he walked towards them,offering them both a hand to shake. “I won’t let you down – Charity will be thehappiest woman on the planet!”

C.C. took it first.

“Atta boy,” she grinned. “Now you go get those flowers.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” Jonah nodded, and firmly shookNiles’ offered hand as well. “Thank you, sir. I-I’ll see you both later!”

He then quickly dashed from the room, and the older coupleheard the front door open and close before they were left alone again.

Now it was time for Niles to let C.C. know that he’d caughther little anecdote.

He smirked up at her, “You know a man who started off with hisbest suit, and some flowers?”

His wife replied by rolling her eyes, “You honestly thoughtI that bought that whole Lynn Redgrave story?”

“You seemed to,” Niles said playfully, walking two of hisfingers up her side. “At the time.”

“I kept what I really thought to myself, because I couldn’tbelieve you’d try anything on me in a brown corduroy suit,” C.C. folded herarms over, clearly pretending to not be affected.

But Niles knew her better than that. He knew her better thananyone.

He nodded slowly, “Mm hm, I’m sure that was it…”

C.C. looked unimpressed, “At least Jonah will come to seeCharity acceptably dressed.”

“He’d better,” only then did the grin fade from Niles’ face.“If he knows what’s good for him.”

“He will,” his wife slipped herself into his lap, resting ahand over his heart. “He took your advice very seriously, I could tell. It waslike a grandson listening to the wisdom of his grandfather.”

Niles openly scowled at that, “Hm. If he makes me agrandfather within the next four years, he’s a dead man walking…”

“They’ll be careful, relax!” C.C. very nearly cried, reachingher hand up and cupping his cheek. “If they’re anything like us, they’ll taketheir time.”

He pulled a face in return, “We didn’t exactly wait to haveCharity.”

“No, but we waited twenty years to do what it took to makeCharity,” his wife said pointedly, adding emphasis by bringing her hand awayfrom his face to poke him in the chest. “Granted, I’m not suggesting they’llwait until they’re nearly forty, but I have faith in them to be sensible.”

Niles raised an eyebrow, “Sensible like we were, you mean?”

“More sensible, Dust Buster,” C.C. murmured, pecking him onthe lips. “More romantic right from the start, too.”

That set something off in Niles, and he started to grinagain as he pulled her flush against him, muttering against the skin of herneck.

“I’ll give you romantic…!”

C.C. gave a yelp of delight in return, and before he stoppedthinking about it entirely, he had one last thought.

The thought that when it came to real happiness, Charity andJonah had far worse people to emulate than him and his beloved wife.

#anon asks #the nanny #niles and cc #niles the butler #cc babcock #otp: always been bitter together #otp: butler bitch

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kingsterracerp-blog · 7 years

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LAUR will be picking up JACOB ST. JAMES as a second character.

OUT OF CHARACTER.

NAME: Laur AGE: 23 TIMEZONE: GMT +1 ACTIVITY LEVEL: 7/10; I’m usually online for at least a couple of hours every day, mostly in the evenings! PRONOUNS: she/her SHIPS: Will/Frannie, Will/Chemistry ANTI-SHIPS: Will/No Chemistry TRIGGERS: Removed. PASSWORD: Removed. ANYTHING ELSE: Removed.

IN CHARACTER.

DESIRED CHARACTER: Jacob William St. James (goes by William) NICKNAMES: Will, Wills, Jacob/Jake (by his Mother only. She hates the fact that he goes by his middle name.) AGE/BIRTH ORDER: 29 FACECLAIM: Henry Cavill GENDER IDENTITY/PRONOUNS: Cis-Male, He/Him SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Publically, he identifies as being heterosexual but privately believes his sexuality is more fluid than that. HOMETOWN: Manhattan, New York OCCUPATION/EDUCATION: Managing Director of The St. James Hotel Group.

(MORE) IN CHARACTER.

POSITIVES: driven, charismatic, intelligent NEGATIVES: materialistic, image-driven, stubborn

@JWStJ: I liked it so I put a ring on it. Happy Anniversary to the lady who keeps my heart @FRANNIEFABS. Delayed flights are not conducive to celebrations but I’ll be home soon. @JWStJ: Excited for my first night in the latest #StJamesHotel [image] #australia @JWStJ: Thankful for friends that walk behind us and take shots like this. [image]

BIOGRAPHY.

Jacob William St. James was the first child born to Jeffery and Margaret St. James and from the moment he was able to walk, the weight of the family image and name was placed on his shoulders and he had to learn how to balance. His Mother doted on him, and it was clear from the beginning that he was his Father’s pride and joy. His Father worked, a lot; it was rare that the family was able to dine around the table as one and following the birth of the twins five years later, Margaret opted to travel less, distance herself from any part of the business to ensure they had at least one ever present parent. Overall, his childhood was an incredibly privileged and happy one.

The St. James Hotel Group had been started as a small B&B by his great-grandparents and while the company had expanded in ways no-one could have imagined, the importance of hard work and the daily grind wasn’t lost on anyone; it was a lesson passed down from Father to son. He started ‘working’ for the family business at the age of ten and he thrived. He learned early on that the good manners instilled in him by his Mother and a smile inherited from his Father could get him far; and Jeffery discovered his son had a natural flair for working with people.

High school came and went in the blink of an eye. He knew what was expected of him from the outset and he put his head down and worked hard throughout his four years there. He was in constant competition with his peers. It wasn’t good enough to just be the top of his class; he had to impress outside of the classroom too. He handled the pressure with a kind of grace unlike most young men his age would have; and the entire way through high school, he worked weekends throughout the various departments in the St. James at Times Square. His passion for the business only grew; he became fascinated with learning how each individual department was organised, and how managers ensured their department was run with the greatest efficiency.

When it came to college, Harvard was the only choice. That was his legacy and the natural choice was studying business. College was the first time he really let loose a little; he was out from his Father’s watchful eye and he was able to experience life as any other normal college student. He graduated the Valedictorian of his class, and opted to remain at Harvard to study his Masters. That would turn out to be the best decision he could have possibly made because that was the decision that led to him meeting Francine Fabray.

He had never given much thought to dating; he’d always been too busy with other things to really take any relationship seriously but Frannie had him stopping in his tracks. They started dating almost immediately but their relationship wasn’t one that lasted. They were on and off throughout Francine’s college years but even when they weren’t together, they were friends. Real friends. She was someone he was able to confide in, someone he trusted with just about everything. He proposed to her on August 28th, just three months after she graduated. It was a very conscious and planned decision. He’d taken the diamonds from his Grandmother’s engagement ring and had them reset into something entirely to his girlfriend’s taste; and he poured his heart out to her. He was head over heels for her and he was confident that more than anything else, he wanted to spend his life loving her.

Settling down in Boston, and starting their lives together wasn’t exactly what he’d pictured. He was considerably busier than he’d expected; his position in the company required him to travel more than anticipated and while initially, he’d always assumed any time he travelled, his wife would accompany him; her responsibilities now prevented her from doing that. He could see how much she loved NOVA and he’d never ask her to step away from that. There was definitely a distance between them now that had never really existed before but it hasn’t shook his feelings for Francine. Unbeknown to her, he’s working on scaling back his responsibilities for a few months’ at least; he misses her and he’s suddenly realised he’s becoming more and more like his Father and that’s not someone he wants to emulate in his personal life.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH? HOW DOES IT COME IN HANDY?

I’ve been told I’m pretty charming. It’s definitely a strength over things like the fact that I’m hard-working or being intelligent because honestly, sometimes those things don’t help get people on your side. The nature of my job means that more often than not you have to be able to sweet-talk and charm people to being on your side, working with you.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE?

I have tunnel-vision. It’s a strength and a weakness but as I get older I’m becoming more and more aware of the negative aspects. I become entirely too focused on projects and I tend to forget the rest of the world exists.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?

I don’t even want to think about ten years down the line; approaching thirty is as much scary as I can handle right now. In ten years I’ll still very proudly be on my wife’s arm and hopefully we’ll have a couple of kids. I see myself being happy.

WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO KING’S TERRACE?

After we got married, we needed to find a base, somewhere to settle temporarily and we landed on Boston. I travel a lot for work and I prefer to do that from the East Coast; Fran has an office nearby so King’s Terrace works as a short-term move.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF SOMETHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Don’t work so hard; have more fun.

#st. james #jacob st. james #accepted

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barbaras-mermaid-cove · 8 years

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Barbara and Francesca's Tour of the City

Rated: PG for some trauma references.

Pairing: Barb/Fran or Barb/Mel; up to interpretation.

A/N: You know what? I’m going to post this story here, too. While Barbara still can be explained/redeemed, and all... Enjoy, and review if you want...?

Summary: Since Barbara is heartbroken about her previous relationship, Francesca has decided to take her on a tour of the city to cheer her up. Meanwhile, Mel spends the holiday with someone else, unaware of the true reason his wife left, and Bob does his best to escape the hospital!

Barbara, a tall beautiful woman with short green hair spoke to Francesca, a black-haired Italian woman she'd met outside a comedy club. Both women were now separated from their husbands, but they were once the respective wives of Sideshow Mel and Sideshow Bob, the current and former sidekicks of a TV clown. Francesca had been separated for a long time, but Barbara had just separated and the wounds were still fresh. She'd not only been emailed evidence that she'd been cheated on, she'd also been told what to do over the phone by a mystery voice. She'd left a letter on Mel's chair and had to leave the house with her possessions. The voice had started off neutral, but it had taken on a threatening tone. She could never look Mel in the eyes, she just left. It was better that way. "And on top of everything else, the cops have finally arrested my sister, Lucille." The tall, green haired woman said. Francesca listened to Barbara talk, as they both stood waiting for the tour bus together. The former nodded as she spotted their bus. "There it is! Now, Barbara, come with me, and I will-a make you smile! This tour will-a cheer both of us up!" ... Now, Krusty the Clown once mentioned his sister. He'd felt kind of sorry for Mel, so he decided to let his sister spend the holidays with him. Little did Mel know, Krusty was sort of shifty, and he'd much rather Mel spend the holidays with his sister, than with some prissy journalist wife with a perpetual rod up her spine. (How nice did he really have to be in order to not get a negative rating from her?!) Krusty's sister, whose name was Judy, helped Mel move the new bean bag chairs to the sides of the couch. The new chairs were a gray-green colour and just big enough for one person to sit on each one. Mel's kids had chosen them. Some kids dreamed of starting a rock band, his kids dreamed of bean bag chairs. Judy got a text from her brother, Krusty. "Hey, Jude. I'm frying in here. What should I do?" She answered, typing, "Turn down the temperature of the hot tub." Krusty, who was currently on stage, looked taken aback. A few audience members laughed at his expression. Krusty noticed. He texted back to his sister, "Ha-ha. Will try that." He may as well use that joke, while he was at it. Judy glanced over at Mel, now relaxing on the couch. His kids slumped down on the bean bag chairs. She smiled at them, before looking back at her phone. "Krusty- it's not the same without you. Can you drop by later?" After about three seconds, he responded. "Sure. Since Mel's ball-and-chain's gone, sounds like a blast." ... Francesca had heard of Bob's being in the hospital. He'd slipped on the ice and injured his leg when buying a present for Bart, of all people. The two had made a truce ever since the summer, when Bob decided to go clean. Bob also had a new girlfriend. The ex-wife imagined Bob in that hospital room with that woman, and her heart couldn't help feel a pang of envy. She drummed her fingers on the metal windowsill of the bus. As much as she wanted to convince herself she was over Bob, she still missed him. She couldn't help imagine Bob and that woman sharing a New Year's kiss. As upsetting as it was to think about, the gentle sound of the finger drumming helped calm her thoughts. She looked over at Barbara, hoping for a distraction. The other woman was wearing a slim lavender jacket, light indigo pants, and black boots. Francesca wore a blue-green jacket, a grey skirt/pantyhose and fluffy white boots. "It's no use. Everything reminds me of him." Barbara admitted. On the bus, there were a few men carrying strangely shaped cactuses, which looked exactly like Mel's curly 'up-do' hairdo with a bone in it. "Come on, dearie, smile," Francesca coaxed. She put her arm around her waist. "There is so much to smile about!" At noticing Barbara's skeptical expression, she motioned out the window. But right at that moment they rode by a poor, shady neighbourhood. "Oh." Barbara saw, and turned away, crossing her arms around her waist. She looked glum as ever. Francesca had to keep trying. They got off at their first stop. It was a small area, with a small park. It had over a foot of snow on the ground. The trees were bare of any leaves, skeletons of their former selves. Francesca decided that maybe starting out here and then working their way towards the city would be good. A few kids were making snowballs. Hmm. Maybe a snowball fight would lighten things up, Francesca thought. Before she could hatch any more ideas, the kids pointed at Barbara. "Hey," A brown haired boy, around eight, said accusingly. "Aren't you the potty-face that left Sideshow Mel?" "Yeah!" The other kids said. Not waiting for an answer, the kids pelted the woman with snowballs. "Ahh! Ooh!" She cried, ducking for cover. Francesca saw, and ran over. They hid behind a tree. "Hey!" Francesca shouted at the kids. "A woman has-a every right to leave her husband if he sleeps with the other women!" The kids threw another arsenal of snowballs. It hit the tree the women were hiding behind, hard. That did it! Francesca made a snowball with her mittened hands and jumped out from behind the tree. "You just-a proved my point!" She yelled. She threw the snowball and it hit a tree next to one of the kids, even harder. The bark had a small dent in it. The kids dropped their snowballs and ran for it. Francesca was about to run after the kids, but Barbara held her back. Still looking fierce, the brunette yelled after them. "And don't-a come back!" ... Sideshow Bob was in the hospital. The pain in his leg from when he slipped on the ice was getting better. His girlfriend had visited him, and that had cheered him up, but now visiting hours were over and he was all alone. He didn't care if he had to walk in order to get out of here. He'd show them! He was strong as steel and three times as tough! There was nothing he wanted less than to spend the holidays in a hospital room!! Bob moved to the side at a 45 degree angle. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and began to walk. The pain enveloped him and he collapsed to the floor. Too fast. He'd gone too fast. The shooting pains in his leg prevented him from making another try. His face contorted in agony. He slowly pulled himself back up into bed. His chest rose up and down as he caught his breath. He would try again later. ... The women stopped by next to a department store. In the center-stage there was a performance going on. It was an all-female, slapstick version of Hamlet. They even had the original stick that made a comedic slapping sound when it hit someone, without inflicting any real damage to the actors. Francesca and Barbara stayed for a while, enjoying the performance. 'It's too bad Roberto wasn't here to see this,' Francesca mused. 'He would have loved this...' 'Mel loved Hamlet...' Barbara thought. 'Oh, if we were still together and I was in something like this... he'd swoon.' After it finished, the women clapped, along with the other spectators. The performing women were selling the slap-sticks in a booth next to the stage. Barbara and Francesca talked it over, and decided to buy a couple. You know, just in case. Meanwhile, Gil was having trouble making a sale on a broken snowblower. Barbara decided to help him out, and bought it from him. Maybe she could fix it in the garage, at home. Well, in any case, it was good to help out a man who needed the money. His grateful smile was thanks enough, she decided. Gino tugged at his mother's skirt, pointing to a stuffed toy he wanted. Francesca was surprised. "An elephant? Since when do you like elephants?" Gino replied, "Is not for me. Is for her." He pointed to Barbara. He must have noticed the woman's sadness too. So Francesca bought the toy for Gino to give to their friend. Barbara beamed. She wasn't expecting any gifts, let alone being supported by anyone. She thanked them gratefully, holding the stuffed elephant in her arms. Her grin, the Italian woman had to admit, was rather cute. Almost childlike. Their next stop, after exiting the department store, was the hospital. Barbara knew that the Terwilligers still missed Bob and wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas. So, they walked together to go meet with him. ... Bob got up again, his toes peeking out from under the blanket. The pedicurist had been so kind as to do his toenails. She'd added paint; it was a simple clear coat, but still nice. Made his toes look shiny. Sliding out of bed, he began to walk. With each step he realized it was easier than before. He couldn't wait to tell the nurses! His Lady would drop by again that day. The thought of her long black hair with silver shines through it made him sigh happily. He noticed someone at the door. It was a woman with long black hair. She entered through the doorframe. Eep! He suddenly made a step and pain shot throughout his leg. He collapsed, more startled than in pain. Okay. He didn't mean /that/ woman with long black hair. "F-Francesca. I wasn't expecting you." Using the bed as support, he pulled himself to his feet. He tried showing emotional distance and nonchalance. "Bob." She used his stage name. It must have taken him by surprise as his emotional nonchalance melted away. "Yes?" Should he use 'my dear,' or shouldn't he? They weren't married anymore, but it was only polite. Would she see it that way...? Perhaps his pain made him overthink it? "M-my dear...?" She rolled her eyes. "Don't look nervous, Roberto. I am merely checking up on you. Here, I brought you a gift. Merry Christmas." It was a triple-size green and red striped candy cane, with a red ribbon tied around it. "Thank you. I'd have bought you something from the gift shop, but, as you can see..." He winced from stepping on his hurt leg again. Francesca supported his weight and helped him into bed. "Roberto... you really should rest now. Don't try to walk on that until it heals more." Bob saw her stern eyes, and nodded. "And don't disobey, or I spank you with this." She showed him one of the slapsticks that she and Barbara bought. Gino, who'd been pretending to be asleep in her arms, chuckled. Bob noticed, and couldn't help smile as well. "Don't worry, Francesca. I promise." He took her words seriously and rested for now. Barbara walked into the room all of a sudden, to meet with Bob too. He looked taken aback. "B-B-Botz???" She put up her hands, trying to explain. "I was. Wait, you don't understand. I'm not Lucille. I'm the younger sister, Barbara!" "Oh." Bob got a close look at her, and saw that she indeed wasn't the famed Babysitter Bandit. "I came here with Francesca. I just wanted to wish you happy holidays, too." Bob nodded. "Happy Holidays to you, Barbara. Hope you don't think I'll of me for fearing your sister." He glanced over at the newspaper article on his desk, which had made her VERY scary. "She and I might actually have made a good team, once." "I've heard about you, Sideshow Bob," Barbara admitted. "And I believe you would have." "Indeed." Bob agreed. His hand reached out for a glass of water next to his book, which was a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince." After sipping his water and putting it back, Bob sat up. He reached up to hug his son, who was no longer pretending to be asleep. A fatherly warmth spread out in his heart. He also hugged his ex-wife. Then he shook the hand of his tall, green-haired new acquaintance. "It's been a pleasure." He said, as he watched the clock indicate that visiting hours were now up. He waved to the group of three as he pondered on the fact that his friends made what could have been his worst Christmas ever into one of the best. ... Barbara spoke to Francesca outside the hospital room. "And now I get to meet with my husband." Barbara said, matter-of-factly. "Are you sure it's a good idea?" She nodded. "It's only polite to. And besides, it isn't like Krusty will be there. My kids will be there, though." Francesca took her hand, holding her son with the other. "If he stresses you out too much, my dear, come right back outside. I had planned a big family reunion dinner for us all, but it looks like Bob can't come thanks to that hurt leg of his. But you are free to come back to Italy with me and Gino, for the holidays." ... Barbara arrived at Mel's door. She hesitated about ringing the doorbell. A snowball was thrown at her from off-screen, she ducked, and it hit the door; narrowly missing her head. Wiping the snowball off the door, she took a peek inside the house through the big window. She spotted Mel smiling happily with cocoa in his hands, and the children screaming carols at the top of their lungs. There was a woman as short as Mel, green-haired as Krusty, with yellow skin and a somewhat homely look to her. She sat down next to Mel, smiling and holding a cup of cocoa of her own. Barbara turned back to the door. She didn't care who the woman was. She needed to do this. The knock was loud. Luckily, Mel was the one who opened the door. Surprise and confusion mounted in his voice. "Barbara...?" Not wasting a single second, she threw her arms around him. Her cold melted into his warmth and vice versa. The snow blew in from outside. Mel noticed, and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?!" Mel asked. Barbara released him. "I came back to wish you happy holidays." Mel felt mixed confusing feelings arise in him. Judy noticed and retreated back to the kitchen. She thought, 'How dare that woman show her face around here again?! After the way she'd broken his heart!' But she saw the look in Mel's face, and a similar look in his wife's face. Was she just seducing him, or did she feel the same way? Judy looked inside her own heart. Did she start to fall in love with Mel, or did she just want happiness for him? It had been a long shot, even thinking they had a chance together, but she'd always hoped... She sat down, cross-legged, watching the inevitable unfold in front of her. Barbara took something out of her purse, and handed it to Mel. "If you would allow it, I brought you a present. I hope you enjoy it." Mel unwrapped the gift in red paper on the spot. It was a blue dreamcatcher. She half-grinned. "I hope you have only good dreams from now on." "Thank you." he muttered. She looked over at her kids. They came running up to hug her. A stream of tears involuntarily began to flow down her cheeks. ... The green-haired clown, Krusty, arrived outside the door of the Van Horne residence. He grinned widely at the prospect of seeing his sister - and also Mel - this Christmas. Well, he'd already spent the first part of the holidays with his daughter Sophie, so spending the other part with Mel and Judy meant more fun and gifts!! He knocked loudly on the door and immediately burst in. "Hey, hey, everyone! Guess who's got more presents for ya!" The kids ran immediately to him for some presents. He handed them out, grinning. But he stopped grinning when he saw a familiar sea-green-haired, liposuction-butt, can't-take-a-joke journalist standing in the room. She glared at him. Oops. Uh-oh! Krusty thought. "Sorry, Judy, looks like the plan didn't work!" He high-tailed it to the kitchen, where his sister stood. "What plan?" she asked. "The plan to split up Mel and his broad, so he'd be all mine for the show!" Judy looked back at Mel and Barbara. Everyone looked uncomfortable. Barbara saw Krusty think to himself about how to go about plan B of getting rid of her. Suddenly, flashbacks of how much she'd been threatened, intimidated, and harassed all throughout Mel's sidekick career, came back to her. This clown was vicious, and he wouldn't stop until he had his man. Barbara hugged her husband tight and whispered, "No matter what anyone else says, I'll always love you, Mel." She released him and looked so broken up inside that Mel wanted to pull her close again and tell her things would be alright. She was fast for him. She turned around and turned the doorknob of the door, and stepped outside into the cold again. Seeing Francesca waiting for her in the car, she nodded. She got into the car and they drove to the airport. ... Mel ran outside. "Barbara, wait!" He called out, squinting through the windy snow that blew at him in the night. Her car had driven off. Judy hopped inside her car and called out to Mel. "We can still catch them!" Mel nodded and hopped into the passenger seat. They drove to the airport, fast yet cautiously because of the wind and snow hurtling at them. When they arrived they heard the radio announcer say that all flights for Salcissia are about to take off. They ran as fast as they could to try and tell the radio announcer to cancel that flight! "I'm sorry, guys, but I can't stop an entire flight every time one person's lover is about to get away." "Please?" Mel said, smiling. It was the familiar cute smile he made right before he's about to hear crushing news. "No." The man said. "But you can still catch them if you're fast enough." ... Mel and Judy rushed to catch the plane, but it already started on the runway and took off before their very eyes. Mel looked absolutely crushed. She was gone, again. He reached out to something now way out of his grasp. His voice cracked like broken glass. "Oh, Barbara..." Seeing the man put his face in his hands and start sobbing, Judy ran over. She put her arm around him, and comforted him as they walked slowly back to the car. It had the small effect of making Mel's sobs softer as they drove home. The darkness coupled with snow and wind was even more eerie than before. ... Back at the house, Krusty opened the door to one sad woman and one heartbroken man. "Hey hey, don't look at it like losing someone, look at it like getting better at your job..." The clown grinned, a bit pathetically. Judy frowned. "YOU were the one responsible for this!!" The clown glanced away, tugging at his collar. Judy continued. "How could you, Krusty? I hope you're going to make it up to him." "Oh, believe me," the clown said. "Tomorrow we'll visit the hospital to see Sideshow Bob, and I'll get you some ice cream on the way back." Mel shrugged. "It's better than nothing." ... In the hospital, Bob was walking on his leg again. The nurse congratulated him for healing so quickly. Soon he'd be fully recovered! "Hey, hey!" Bob almost tripped himself up. He growled at seeing Krusty again. That clown had betrayed him at their most recent reunion special and he still loathed him for that. Oh, he was reformed alright, but he still loathed and couldn't trust that clown. "Hello, Krusty..." The clown had brought Mel and Judy along for the trip. Bob slipped back into bed and relaxed. "And hello there, Mel, how's life treating you?" "Not well," the man admitted. "His wife left him, came back, then left him again, thanks to me," the clown explained. "Ah." Bob said. "I sympathize, Melvin. He's done the same thing to my early romances." "Really?" The redhead nodded. "Sideshows can't work and love at the same time, in his eyes." "I see." "Anyways," Bob continued. "I've been healing quickly, so I might get out of here sooner than they predicted. I intend to spend the rest of the holiday with my girlfriend, and then call my ex-wife and son to check on how their holiday went." "Wait." Judy said. "You have their phone number?" Bob nodded. Mel perked up. "Can you write it down for me? Barbara's spending the holidays with her!" "Oh, certainly, here." Bob wrote it down and handed Mel the paper. "How can I ever thank you?" Mel said, smiling. He tucked the piece of paper into his pocket. "For one, you can help me walk. I intend to spend as little time in this hospital room as humanly possible." Mel helped him stand, and helped him take his first few steps. Bob could take it from there, and finally was able to walk without falling. "Thank you Melvin, that was a big help to me! I mean it!" Bob grinned. "As was what you did for me!" Mel grinned. Bob began to wobble a bit, but Mel caught him. He put his arm around him for support. Krusty crossed his arms, pouting. Judy smiled. Mel looked up at Bob. "Robert, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

#barbara van horne #francesca terwilliger #sideshow mel #sideshow bob #my fanfics #there are other characters in it but you'll have to keep reading if you want to find out whom... ;)

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biofunmy · 5 years

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Following the Lead of the Diving Girl

The Diving Girl was born in Portland, Ore., in 1920. In my pursuit of her ghost, I find myself eyeballing three contentious Canada geese on a floating swim dock in the Willamette River.

On this overcast June afternoon, cottony clouds of varying thickness hang overhead, the sun and splashes of blue visible in the gaps between puffs. The promise of summer is palpable, though the season itself hasn’t yet arrived. The water is fine, nearly 70 degrees — warmer, in fact, than the air. Perched on the dock, goggles at the ready, my friend Fran and I wait for a big enough hole in the clouds to allow for the ritual of a sun-warmed leap into the water.

From this dock, just under the Hawthorne Bridge, you can observe the downtown skyline, prettily framed across the river. You can see the Marquam Bridge to the south, cars and bikes and people racing across. And, of course, you have this calm, silvery span of water, disturbed only by the occasional tourist boat or stand-up paddleboarder — or Canada goose, squinting suspiciously at you before it settles back down to snooze. This is the beauty of a swimmable urban waterway.

The Willamette River, which winds north nearly 190 miles from Eugene to Portland and into the Columbia River, has long been a hub of human activity. In recent decades, frequent sewage overflows made the water unswimmable, but the completion of a $1.4 billion public works project in 2010 changed all that. Every July since then, the nonprofit Human Access Project hosts “The Big Float” — a giant people-powered flotilla and beach party to encourage Portlanders to reclaim the river for swimming and other aquatic recreation.

I’ve spent the last couple of years writing a book about swimming. This river, it turns out, is also a landmark in swimming history — it’s the place where the modern American swimsuit had its big breakthrough, in the early 20th century. The Diving Girl surfaces again and again in the history of swimming, as an international cultural symbol and muse; she even makes a cameo in my own family’s history.

But, really, I’m getting ahead of myself. Rule No. 1 of summertime immersion? Get in the water. With that in mind, I take a running leap off the dock.

The rowers come calling

Let’s go back a little over a century ago, to a little operation called the Portland Knitting Company. Owned by a pair of brothers from Missouri named John and Roy Zehntbauer and their partner, a Danish immigrant named Carl Jantzen, the small retail shop had a few hand-knitting machines and did most of its trade in woolen items like sweaters and socks. The first day’s receipt, in 1910, was 35 cents for a pair of gloves.

The men were members of the city’s rowing club; one day in 1913, a fellow club member placed a special order for a woolen suit that he could wear while sculling during cool mornings on the Willamette River. Jantzen used a sweater-cuff machine to make the one-piece garment, so it would stretch. A lighter weight version eventually became the prototype for the first bathing suits offered in the company catalog.

At the time, men’s bathing suits were required to cover the entire chest; the groin area also had to be covered with a piece of fabric — O.K., it was a skirt — for modesty. Topless men were banned from places now synonymous with sunbathing, like Atlantic City. The reason? Well, the city proclaimed, it didn’t want “gorillas on our beaches.”

Jantzen figured out how to make a superior wool unitard with a rib-stitch that retained its shape and allowed a snugger fit than all the other swimsuits out there. (Imagine swimming while dragging eight pounds of wet wool — that was the existing competition.) The founders wore the new suits in the river; knit in green and yellow stripes, the suits were called “froggers” and soon everybody wanted one. In 1918, the company rebranded itself as Jantzen Knitting Mills. A black-and-white photo from the era shows men, women and children picnicking along the Willamette, all wearing Jantzen swimsuits.

Along came the Diving Girl logo. In her early years, she appeared on the cover of the catalog, wearing long socks and a red and white wool cap. (Remember the company’s origins as a woolens mill.) In 1922, Jantzen printed up 10,000 Red Diving Girl stickers and sent them to retailers to put in their shop windows as advertisements.

It worked pretty well, but not in the way they intended: People started putting them on their cars. The Jantzen girl windshield decals became a massive sensation. Within five years, 5 million Diving Girls could be seen on cars all over the United States. (They were eventually banned in Massachusetts in the interest of public safety.)

She was even made into a hood ornament, so that by the late 1920s and 30s, the Diving Girl was crisscrossing the country, spreading the gospel of swimming to every corner of America. There were free swimming seminars, as part of a national “Learn to Swim Week” campaign.

In 1923, Jantzen’s slogan came to epitomize a cultural revolution: “The suit that changed bathing to swimming.”

A suit for the jet age

In her worldwide travels, the Diving Girl even made it to Hong Kong. My parents met in 1968, in a swimming pool there. For one hot moment, they were the cliché incarnate. He was the lifeguard; she, the big-eyed beauty with long dark hair and a mean sidestroke. In photos of them on the beach early in their courtship, she is wearing Jantzen.

My mother says that almost all the imported swimwear in Hong Kong back then was made by Jantzen. She remembers wistfully that one of her three sisters, my aunt Rosena, had “the cutest floral one-piece by Jantzen.” In my own childhood, I remember the little Diving Girl as a fixture on the bathing suits worn by the ladies at the pool, and the glamour that came with it.

Everyone from Duke Kahanamoku to Elvis and Princess Diana wore Jantzen. In its heyday, Jantzen had more than a dozen design studios around the world. In the late 1950s, it produced the International Set, a collection of 17 suits from those studios. They were jet age suits for the new jet age and the planes that were taking people to exotic places. The Hong Kong studio produced the Shek-O, with a black-and-white woodcut print and a bell-shaped skirt inspired by a Chinese lantern. There were even designs by Hubert de Givenchy, created in his Paris salon especially for the company.

There were monuments. A series of 20-foot-tall, fiberglass-and-steel Diving Girl statues were mounted in strategic locations around the country; some even traveled internationally. In 1965, one was put up above a swimwear shop in Daytona Beach, Fla., called Stamie’s Smart Beach Wear. It became an icon.

One could say the same for the swimsuit, in cities and pools and beaches everywhere. Though ostensibly a functional garment, the bathing suit has long been so much more, particularly as it pertains to female bodies. Jantzen proved it could be both functional and fashionable, and helped turn swimming into an appealing — and acceptable — sport for women.

Eventually, other companies took up the mantle. Speedo is now the world’s best-selling swim brand. China makes 70 percent of all swimsuits. Jantzen itself was bought by a multinational manufacturing giant, Perry Ellis International, and then sold to a private company in 2019. Last year, Stamie’s in Daytona Beach finally closed, after more than five decades on the boardwalk, and the Diving Girl statue was taken down and shipped to Washington State for storage.

The Diving Girl comes home

Culturally and geographically speaking, you can’t get farther away in America from Portland, than Daytona Beach, home to NASCAR’s Daytona 500, endless water parks, and spring-breakers racing dune buggies on its 23 miles of hard-packed beach. They’re even in opposite corners of the country. But Jantzen is a bridge. When the Red Diving Girl was taken down, Daytona Beach residents protested. “Please let her be where she belongs,” they said. “A Florida visit isn’t complete without her.” “Save a piece of my history and my youth.” City leaders rallied together, a rarity; the city’s newspaper received a deluge of nostalgic letters and pictures, with a “Bring Back the Jantzen Girl” campaign; social media exploded: #JantzenGirlDaytonaBeach. Originally from somewhere else, the Diving Girl had come to represent something intensely local.

And so, last winter, the not-so-little Diving Girl took one last cross-country road trip. It took six days on a truck to get the 20-foot behemoth back home to Daytona. She was restored and feted with fireworks at a New Year’s Eve bash, and reinstalled above a plaza at the One Daytona entertainment complex.

Over the years, hems rose and fell with the fashions, both on the Diving Girl and on us. But over that same period, swimming moved from an activity that prioritized public bathing and hygiene to one that represented the pinnacle of sport and leisure, and took off as one of the most popular recreational pastimes anywhere. It’s a story of American pluck, entrepreneurship and cultural migration — all collapsed into one little red logo, and worthy of being blown up into a giant fiberglass store-top mannequin.

So, to honor the travels of the Diving Girl, I returned to her birthplace, in the crisp waters of the Willamette River. It was a baptism of sorts. On that afternoon, I swam between the bridges, and dodged the geese. Running right through the city of Portland, the recently renewed Willamette water was an escape in plain sight. I couldn’t help but laugh when a little boy and his mother stopped at the top of the walking path to stare at me swimming with the birds. I waved, and Fran snapped a photo before jumping in herself. Neither of us wore Jantzen. But it’s not a stretch to say that this freewheeling spirit of swimming is part of the legacy — here, there, and everywhere — that the Diving Girl left in her wake.

If you go

The Hawthorne Boat Dock is one of the easiest public access points for swimming along the Willamette River. Stand-up paddleboarders, dragon boaters and rowers also tie up here, but the crowd is generally friendly. Swimming and wading are permitted in the river, but there are no lifeguards on duty. The Human Access Project recommends several other good Portland beaches on its website, and also offers a useful safety primer on swimming in this urban waterway.

Bonnie Tsui is a frequent contributor to Travel. Her next book, “Why We Swim,” will be published next spring by Algonquin Books.

52 PLACES AND MUCH, MUCH MORE Follow our 52 Places traveler, Sebastian Modak, on Instagram as he travels the world, and discover more Travel coverage by following us on Twitter and Facebook. And sign up for our Travel Dispatch newsletter: Each week you’ll receive tips on traveling smarter, stories on hot destinations and access to photos from all over the world.

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his-spare-hats · 6 years

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Here we go, I was tagged by @his-pair-of-spare-glasses and have no idea whom I should tag...euh..since I don’t know anybody and Glasses tagged and was tagged by whom I know before: I tag you who is reading this. Go ahead. Yes, you.

List 10 of your favorite ships, in no particular order. Don’t cheat by scrolling down to see the questions yet, either!

Ardyn x Gilgamesh

Luna x Nyx

Axel x Saix /Lea x Isa

Gladio x Ignis

Thorin x Bilbo (smol men feels)

Balthier x Fran

Wakka x Lulu

Minhyuk x Wonho

Ardyn x Prompto

Mingyu x Wonwoo

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? Uh…I never had to explain this ship because Balthier and Fran are just a power couple since scene 1. They come, they wreck, they leave together. They know each other like no other and it’s lots of little remarks on the side that made my feels grow because they subtly look out for each other and…ugh. Let’s not get started on the Draklor Laboratory. 2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? No ;^; I have many ffxv ships due to HisGlasses but I didn’t get to read Lunyx yet :/ (Aside from HisGlasses’ side story for SAViD) But I’m ready for the pain, I love angst stuff so if you’ve got something throw it at me.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr screensaver? Nope, I only recently got into that one so it’s still pretty unknown to me… 4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? WHO GETS TO TAKE CARE OF THE BABY?? No but seriously, them breaking up would affect so many people, oh god, I don’t want to imagine.

5. Why is 1 so important? Because Ardyn deserves soft love but rarely gets it. He’s always the evil sadist dude people use for non-con stuff and on top of that I really like the theory (oh come on, it’s almost canon fanon) of Gil being Ardyn’s Shield. I mean, how else would you explain Gilgamesh?? The fact that he sticks around for ages, maybe hoping, maybe dreading Ardyn’s return (?) makes me all the more curious. And it’s my main ship here on tumblr sooooo /shrugs/ 6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? Oof. It would be dead serious, then lighten up, then grow darker again until it becomes a balance of funny and serious. Ardyn’s carefree attitude with a dark past and Prompto’s happy-go-lucky positive character that is way too easily frightened make it hard to decide on one.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? uh…in the sense of understanding and working things out with the other? 6 and 7. Balthier and Fran are just tuned to the same wavelength, not needing many words to get things done or change plans to get out of somewhere. Wakka and Lulu are just THE fluff couple to me. Wakka doing everything for Lulu because she’s his goddess and Lulu being affected by the positive vibe? It sounds cute, to me at least, and I think that’s a sort of chemistry as well. 8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? Ardyn and Gilgamesh? I mean, they went through quite a lot and Gil is still out there, phasing pink and hanging on because Ardyn is alive as well? If that’s not strong, I don’t know what is. 9. How many times have your read/played/watched 10’s fandom? Read lots of looong fanfic about the two of them, is that enough? Each more than 190k at least. Like, they’re real life idols, I don’t ship them in reality, I just like them as character pattern for the AUs I read. I don’t watch music videos and am like “oh god they looked at each other, it’s true love”, I just think their characters would be compatible in another universe…does…does that even make sense idk?? 10. Which ship has lasted the longest? In their universe in a romantic way? Wakka and Lulu.

Since I got to know them? Uhhh…would be them as well, I played FFX when I was, like, 10/11 years old? 11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? Oh, it’s on and off with them because they know the other will always come back, I think. They’re confident so even if there’s someone else from time to time, they know the other will get bored sooner or later and come back to the one who knows them best. 12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? Oh god, Lunyx or a not-even-real idol ship? Definitely apocalypse-trained Lunyx!

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? Nah, they’ve been obvious ever since. 14. Is 4 still together? They are not, for Ignis’ heart had moved on to Noctis so long ago, Gladio could never compete. A sad and broken ship. 15. Is 10 canon? nah. Real life. Again. 16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? Ugh…I’m somewhere in between Gladnis and Gilgardyn because they are both made of the tactician and the tank…out of loyalty I would decide for Gilgardyn. They are just a long-established team.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship? How about the world? Like, literally everything was against them for some reason. Well, nobody tried to tear them apart in a direct sense but…death was right behind them, so was madness. 18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? 1, Gilgardyn. You can’t tell me nothing happened. You can’t. Full stop. 19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page? Nope but I have one blog that sometimes puts their content on my timeline and that makes me happy~ 20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? 8, Minhyuk and Wonho. They would have other choices ready as well ;^;

#meme #i really never thought about my ships like this #i need to reconsider idol ships for this kind of stuff

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zeroviraluniverse-blog · 7 years

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NHL - Weekly Reader - Ranking all 31 general managers into tiers ahead of the trade deadline

Visit Now - https://zeroviral.com/nhl-weekly-reader-ranking-all-31-general-managers-into-tiers-ahead-of-the-trade-deadline/

NHL - Weekly Reader - Ranking all 31 general managers into tiers ahead of the trade deadline

10:42 AM ET

Greg WyshynskiESPN

With due respect to Rick Nash, Evander Kane, Mike Green, Ryan McDonagh and their peers: These are the real superstars at the NHL trade deadline.

Thirty-one men, with ages ranging from 28 to 75. Some of them with championship rings, others that are perpetually chasing them. Some of them are dynamic salesmen, while others would rather have their faces buried in scouting reports as far away from the cameras as possible. A couple of them are named Jim. One is named Jarmo.

Greg Wyshynski and Emily Kaplan give matchmaking a try for free-agents-to-be in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and wonder why no coaches have been fired yet. Plus, they are joined by “Miracle on Ice” captain Mike Eruzione to talk Winter Olympics and Mark Lazerus of the Chicago Sun-Times to cover the Blackhawks’ tough season. Listen »

Loved. Loathed. Respected. Reviled. They are your NHL general managers.

It’s been an interesting week for our front office rock stars. Vancouver Canucks GM Jim Benning was given a contract extension, which was celebrated by some and received with ample skepticism by others. New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow tried to explain the team’s middling record this season; meanwhile, a group of Islanders fans raised around $6,000 in one day to purchase a billboard near Barclays Center to demand his firing.

Like we said, interesting times.

All this general manager attention got us thinking about the current crop of executives, and how we’d go about ranking them.

This is going to be a tiered approach. If you’re interested in some 1-through-31 rankings, we’d recommend Dom Luszczyszyn’s list from The Hockey News last summer and this epic one from Carolyn Wilke and Chris Watkins of Hockey Graphs in 2017, whose methodology can be found here.

But for our purposes, we feel that the NHL’s general managers fall into eight distinct categories. Feel free to agree, disagree or vehemently disagree in the comments.

The Golden Boys

The accepted gold standard for general managers. The cream of the crop. They rise to the top.

Lou Lamoriello, Toronto Maple Leafs Jim Rutherford, Pittsburgh Penguins Steve Yzerman, Tampa Bay Lightning

Rutherford had already won a Stanley Cup when was hired as a short-term fix for the Penguins after Ray Shero was fired, and he ended up building back-to-back Stanley Cup champions with bold moves like the Phil Kessel deal. Lamoriello is a legend for building three Stanley Cup winners in New Jersey, and for finding more fine print in the CBA than a team of Gary Bettman’s finest lawyers. He’s now the head of a management group that has the Leafs on course for their first Stanley Cup since the year The Beatles released “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.”

Does Yzerman belong here? I think so. He arrived in 2010, and the Bolts have three conference final appearances and one Eastern Conference championship. He’s managed the cap expertly, made two good coaching hires (Guy Boucher, and then knowing when to move on from him for Jon Cooper) and drafted half the roster. He and owner Jeff Vinik have created a gold-standard organization, and hence Stevie Y. is a gold-standard general manager, despite not having the silver Cup in his tenure as GM yet …

The Waiting-For-Silver Boys

General managers with great track records and League-wide respect who are still one Stanley Cup away from getting tiered up.

Doug Armstrong, St. Louis Blues Kevin Cheveldayoff, Winnipeg Jets Ron Francis, Carolina Hurricanes George McPhee, Vegas Golden Knights Bob Murray, Anaheim Ducks David Poile, Nashville Predators Ray Shero, New Jersey Devils Doug Wilson, San Jose Sharks

Poile was the source of much robust debate among those that contributed to this ranking. Some made the case that if Yzerman is in the Gold Club without a Stanley Cup, then Poile should be too, given the enormous respect league-wide for him. But there was also this sentiment: “He’s been a GM for 35 years and been to the Stanley Cup Final once. Is our recency bias so strong that last year trumps decades of teams that underachieved in the postseason?”

Fair point.

Armstrong and Wilson have been chasing a Cup for many, many years with teams that consistently have been playoff-bound. Murray won a Cup as Brian Burke’s lieutenant, but the Ducks haven’t been back on his watch. Shero gets an asterisk to be included in this group, as he won a Cup with the Penguins; only two GMs have won Cups with two different teams, and one of them was the guy who replaced him in Pittsburgh. Cheveldayoff and Francis are both well-respected execs in search of actual accomplishment, but if either of their teams win, buckle up for the lovefest.

As for McPhee … well, the Golden Knights players aren’t the only ones carrying a sizable chip on their shoulders and searching for a redemption narrative.

The Try-Hards

They swing for the fences. Sometimes they connect. Other times, it’s just foul.

Chuck Fletcher, Minnesota Wild Jarmo Kekalainen, Columbus Blue Jackets Jim Nill, Dallas Stars Brian MacLellan, Washington Capitals Don Sweeney, Boston Bruins Dale Tallon, Florida Panthers Brad Treliving, Calgary Flames

These are general managers that have made bold moves to bolster their teams, some that worked and others that didn’t and still others that are TBD. The common thread here is that they all seem to be doing “something,” rather than watching idly. At some point, that action has to get results, but in the meantime, hey, they’re trading for Kevin Shattenkirk or trading Seth Jones or … well, whatever it was Florida did last summer.

The Incompletes

Hey, they just walked in the door, cut them a break.

Rob Blake, Los Angeles Kings Jason Botterill, Buffalo Sabres

Blake looks like a genius for simply having a coach his players like, while Botterill is attempting the unique “rebuild inside of a rebuild” inception in Buffalo. [Insert Hans Zimmer “bwwwwwwammmm” horns.]

The Misunderstood

Maligned general managers that might have this thing figured out at some point, because they do have a plan.

Jim Benning, Vancouver Canucks John Chayka, Arizona Coyotes Pierre Dorion, Ottawa Senators Jeff Gorton, New York Rangers Ron Hextall, Philadelphia Flyers Joe Sakic, Colorado Avalanche

All of these guys have, one way or another, baffled their fan bases with their machinations, whether it’s standing by unpopular coaches or failing to pull off big trades. Then one of them will make a dramatic move, and perceptions will change. It’s no coincidence that two of the three participants in the Matt Duchene trade are here, for example.

The Benning re-signing is a good example of the Misunderstood group. Some people see his work with the Canucks as ineffective and discouraging, because he signed Loui Eriksson that one time. Others see him having undone the mistakes of the previous regime while loading up the rebuild. Someone is misunderstanding “the plan” here, as it were.

For some of these general managers, there are external issues affecting their plans, too: From the Glendale City Council to Eugene Melnyk, a.k.a. the Glendale City Council of NHL owners.

The Garth Snow

Garth Snow has excelled at certain aspects of being GM, such as the draft. Others, not so much. Dave Sandford/NHLI via Getty Images

Garth Snow, New York Islanders

A category unto himself.

Jaromir Jagr has likely played his last NHL game. But the future Hall of Famer entertained hockey fans across 24 seasons, playing an incredible 1,733 games. As Jagr celebrates his 46th birthday on Feb. 15, here are 68 amazing facts about No. 68.

There are pretty clear buyers and sellers in the Pacific Division — and then there are the division-leading Golden Knights. Will they go all-in during their wondrous inaugural season? Here are the key assets, cap space and game plan for all eight teams.

With the cap in place since 2005-06, it’s no longer enough for teams to get the right players, as financial considerations must be kept in mind for that season and down the line. Here are the 10 best examples of teams that have struck the perfect balance.

2 Related

There are only three general managers employed longer than Snow, who was hired in 2006: Poile, Ken Holland and Wilson. All three have had their teams play for the Stanley Cup since Snow was hired. Their teams advanced past the first round 16 times since Snow was hired.

Snow’s teams have never played for a championship. During that span, they advanced past the first round once.

He’s made some really bad moves (bye, Nino Niederreiter) and some really good ones (hello, Oilers draft pick that became Mathew Barzal). Some say he’s simply benefited from the mismanagement of others in acquiring Johnny Boychuk, Nick Leddy and Jordan Eberle. But that deprives him of credit for having acquired them, which in the end, he did.

His drafts look great; his player development, not so much. His free agent dabbling has been complicated by ownership and building issues, but he’s also made some smart decisions on departures that were criticized at the time (like Frans Nielsen). He has the faith of the organization, but little of it from the fans.

Go by the results, and Snow’s in the bottom third of GMs. But he’s not nearly at fault for this as the current criticism would indicate. The whole thing is confounding, Hence, he’s his own tier.

The Votes Of No Confidence

GMs that are feeling the heat because their teams were incredible for like a decade, got old and entered inevitable decline.

Stan Bowman, Chicago Blackhawks Ken Holland, Detroit Red Wings

Bowman’s handled down cycles for the Hawks before, in between Cup wins, but this one seems like a bit of a steeper climb due to the age of the core (and the fact that there are so many no-trade clauses). Holland has somehow crafted a roster that’s kissing the cap ceiling but is a complete also-ran. Does he return next season?

Will these guys?

The Disaster Artists

Marc Bergevin, Montreal Canadiens Peter Chiarelli, Edmonton Oilers

Again, this ranking is as much about perception as it is about results. The Oilers and Canadiens were both humongous disappointments this season. Both have built teams with structural problems, that at one point seemed poised to challenge for the Stanley Cup but now seem withdrawn from contention. Much of this can be drawn directly to the decision made by the general managers, be it the P.K. Subban trade or the Taylor Hall trade.

Of all the GMs on this list, these are the names most frequently in the vicinity of the following question: Can they survive this?

But here’s the beauty of being a general manager: All it takes is one great move or one great season, and perceptions can change on a dime. Bergevin lands John Tavares? Chiarelli’s Oilers rebound with the Cup run? They could be in a completely different tier by New Year’s Eve.

Perceptions are constantly shifting for general managers. Every year, you read stuff like this: “The clock is ticking, and he has some serious work to do this summer to sort this thing out. And if he can’t, then he is next on the chopping block.”

That was Tampa Times columnist Tom Jones in 2013, on Steve Yzerman. Suffice it to say, he sorted it out.

Jersey Foul of the week

From the Vegas (Sweet) Golden Knights:

will the real william karlsson please stand up.

please stand up. pic.twitter.com/nTEuAOYSIe

– Vegas Golden Knights (@GoldenKnights) February 11, 2018

These Swedes were in town to support 30-goal scorer William “Wild Bill” Karlsson. It’s an army of FrankenJerseys! Their hearts are in the right place, but it’s a shame to snip up those gorgeous Swedish national team tre kronors.

How to stop a heckling fan

You go to the penalty box, you feel shame. This is an essential truth of hockey.

But sometimes, you feel even more shame on the road, when some heckling yokel decides to lay into you while you stew for two minutes after a penalty. Such was the case for Washington Capitals forward Devante Smith-Pelly at the Minnesota Wild on Thursday night, who was getting it good from a fan in the front row. But DSP was prepared to deploy countermeasures. Wet, saturating countermeasures:

.@smithpelly23 found the perfect #lifehack to solve your heckler problem 😂 pic.twitter.com/3AR0U6vGTo

— NBC Sports Capitals (@NBCSCapitals) February 16, 2018

Let it never be said that Devante Smith-Pelly doesn’t know how to play his angles. Thanks to RMNB for the video.

Please recall it was a scant eight years ago when the NHL declared war on players squirting water bottles at fans, after Duncan Keith of the Chicago Blackhawks was caught doing so during a playoff game in Nashville. In Sept. 2010, the NHL sent out a video that emphasized some rules for the following season, including: “Any identifiable player who uses obscene, profane or abusive language or gestures directed at any person runs the risk of an unsportsmanlike penalty and possible supplemental discipline.”

Let’s hope the NHL has loosened up a bit since then. Because this was hilarious.

ESPN On Ice

Fun podcast this week, with Mark Lazerus of the Chicago Sun-Times talking about the anger of Chicago Blackhawks fans and “Miracle On Ice” legend Mike Eruzione on the Winter Olympics and his teammates auctioning off their gold medals. Plus, we play Valentine’s Day matchmaker with high-profile trade deadline bait players. Stream here or get us on iTunes. Review and subscribe!

Hall for Hart?

Taylor Hall has 60 points this season, leading the Devils back into the playoff picture. The second highest total on the team? Nico Hischier’s 37. Elsa/Getty Images

The Hart Trophy race has its season-long favorites — Nikita Kucherov of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals, John Tavares of the New York Islanders and Nathan MacKinnon of the Colorado Avalanche among them.

But lately, there have been some campaigns springing up for alternative candidates. Like Frederik Andersen of the Toronto Maple Leafs, as advocated here. Or Patrice Bergeron of the Boston Bruins, as advocated here.

And like Taylor Hall of the New Jersey Devils, as advocated … well, here.

Hall has 60 points in 52 games for a 1.15 points-per-game average, seventh-best in the NHL this season for players that have played at least 50 games. But his Hart case is best made when considering what he’s done in context with the rest of the Devils: Hall has 23 more points than the team’s second highest scorer, rookie Nico Hischier (37). He has eight more goals than the second-leading goal scorer, Miles Wood (15). At even strength, he’s eight points (40) better than Hischier (32).

Hall is the best possession forward on the Devils (51.9 Corsi for percentage, 3.72 relative Corsi at 5-on-5). He does get a bit of an offensive advantage with 57.1 percent offensive zone starts, but that’s one of the few metrics that skew against him.

The Devils were 2-3-1 when Hall was out of the lineup; with him, they are 27-17-7. He has 40 points in those wins.

Again, there are ample candidates for the Hart, and Hall isn’t likely to challenge for the Art Ross. But if the Devils make the playoffs, and these numbers hold, it’s hard to imagine Hall won’t make the ballot for a lot of voters considering the incredible impact he’s had on the Devils this season. They’re counting lottery balls without him.

Puck headlines

As we covered player development a bit in today’s column, check out this post that tabulates how many 20-goal scorers teams have drafted outside the first round since 1997. The Detroit Red Wings have had seven; the Philadelphia Flyers and Arizona Coyotes have had zero. [Beer League Heroes]

Jaromie Jagr’s birthday cake was quite a sight. [Instagram]

Great idea from Arthur Staple: Asking some of those who know John Tavares best what they think the Islanders star will choose to do as a free agent. [The Athletic]

Milan Lucic might not be made for these times. In other words, he’s too big for a little man’s lead. [Edmonton Journal]

“Canada as Olympic underdog” is a false narrative but people keep writing about it anyway. [New York Times]

Here’s a fun and informative review of the Olympic hockey jerseys this year. [Hockey by Design]

There’s no NHL team (yet), but hockey is thriving in Houston. [Houston Matters, podcast]

Phil Kessel put hot dogs in the Stanley Cup. Now, they’re immortalized on an Upper Deck card. [PHT]

Finally, as the Blackhawks tumble down the standings, interest in buying Chicago tickets has tumbled, too.

Live interest in #Blackhawks is already waining. Cheapest ticket for each of their next 5 home games has fallen by $15-$25 over the past 2 weeks.

Data from: https://t.co/8NYWcfL2TD pic.twitter.com/pqI0yKYaWu

– TicketIQ (@Ticket_IQ) February 15, 2018

Hockey tl;dr (too long; didn’t read)

An oral history of the Canadian women’s team in the 1998 Winter Olympics, the first time there was a women’s hockey tournament at the Games. [Yahoo Canada]

In case you missed this from your friends at ESPN

Ranking the top trade deadline (or thereabouts) deals of the NHL’s salary cap era.

#31 #ahead #deadline #General #managers #NHL #ranking #Reader #tiers #trade #Weekly #Sports #Sports News

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