#and our thoughts are not always true. actually most of the time they're just noise

[tarjapearce]

can we get something about reader having a kid before she met Miguel. her ex was treating her poorly while she was pregnant and after she gave birth, having her to clean the house and take care of their newborn cause the ex was too lazy and verbally abusive? After knowing Miguel for awhile, reader becomes preggo and she’s super scared that she’ll be neglected, but Miguel’s with her the whole time. or a happy ending of your choice🫣

Yee ✨

Parallels and Opposites

Landlord! Miguel O'Hara x Reader

WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Verbal abuse, manipulation toxic relationships dynamics, controlling behavior, gaslight, mild graphic depictions of domestic violence, hurt, struggles, fluff towards the end. No proofread.

Summary: Miguel shows you what true love and family means.

If someone asked you, what would be your biggest regret, a simple name would come to mind. Samuel 'Sam' Lawson.

The man that with his sweet words and lies had stolen you out of the comfortableness and stability of your home. A man that had seduced you right after you finished college and spoke about how you'd be his perfect little housewife.

Someone that played a perfect house angel role and had convinced your parents to live with him a couple of days after the graduation ceremony. Someone that without a doubt, would've teached Judas his own lying game since it proved effective on you and everyone around you.

Samuel was loving, always filling you with gifts and smiles, always making sure you knew his heart was yours, and always making sure you wouldn't have to worry for things such as money. You were happy.

So happy that ignored the micro-aggressions that hid between the loving noise. Beyond happy that you grown used to his presence, even when he didn't need to be there and ignored your few friend's warnings of his controlling and possessive behavior.

They were just jealous that they didn't have someone like him. Right?

It was normal for your loved one to pull you apart from those friendships that deemed toxic, right?

"They're always criticizing us, babe. They're just jealous I take care of you the way they wished their simpleton partners would. You don't need people like that in our lives."

And little by little your friend's circle decreased considerably, but Sam was always there. Ever loving and supporting. Even when in his outbursts he always made sure to say it was all for your good, because he loved you. That everything he did was for you, like it's always been.

He loved you so damn much that it hurt and his relief was beer, staying outside home until late, or fucking you till your body begged for a break.

Life was generous and good, so good you had gotten pregnant. Sam was ecstatic. You finally were carrying his child. And it was enough to make you his fiancé.

"We ain't married yet, but til death do us apart, honey." He'd say, peppering your face in kisses.

There was nothing to fear. All those seedlings of doubts your friends had put, were sapped away, He loved you.

Until he found out you were having a baby girl.

His loving and protective facade begun slowly chipping away.

The beer's stench stuck on his body and breath most of the times Sam was awake. His bad mood was always rampant, making every little thing an inconvenience that didn't help your crumbling relationship.

A few dishes rested comfortably on the sink? He'd scream and to calm him down, you'd rush to clean it all up. His snacks crumbs were in his favorite seat? God forbid to Sam see them cause it was another round of cruel jokes.

"Maybe if you weren't that fat to clean, this place wouldn't look this bad."

It was his bad humor. You thought at first. You knew he had a bad temper, but you were too busy falling inlove to actually notice it seeping through the cracks. You were too busy loving him that ignored the liquid anger pooling at your feet. Slowly filling the four walls you inhabited.

He'll change.

You clung to that thought alone, hoping that this phase was only temporary. That he'd go back to the same man you met. The same mn that got you breakfast in bed and took you to dance the many times you wanted.

Not this man that hurt your mind with whatever nonsense about your body he thought and his mouth spilled. Or hit the walls, instead of hitting you because he loved you.

He loves me.

"Where's my fucking dinner?"

He's just having a bad time with the medical expenses. That's all.

"You fucking stay here all day long doing shit, instead of keeping it all together while I work my ass off to get your fatass whims."

"I clean and cook, Sam." your mouth mumbled and it was enough for him to be invading your space, his taller frame cornering you against the shiny counter you always cleaned up.

"The fuck did you say?"

You gulped. The words replaying in your mind but unable to come out of your mouth. He seemed pleased on the smell of your fear.

"Wouldn't it the least you could do to your hard working husband, hmm?"

You didn't want to admit that these sudden hot and cold games confused you to no end. But they fed your hope of bringing him back.

"I'm sorry." You hushed and he caressed your chin a bit roughly, making you look at him.

"I know. I know pregnancy is hard on you, but your babygirl is not an excuse to not tend your husband's need, honey. You gotta do better. For me."

You nodded while he kissed your forehead and you got away to serve him his dinner.

"We can't have any more mishaps, can we?"

"I'll do it better, ok?"

He squeezed you against him, satisfied you'd acknowledged your mistakes.

"Good girl."

-----

As the pregnancy went on, so did Sam's moods wings. One minute he had all the hots for you, and when he was done, having his fun, he'd go back to his cold and rude self.

Any little mistake on your end was the perfect excuse for him to throw his harbored venom your way. If he didn't attack the apparent laziness, he'd go for how weak and pathetic you were only cause the baby.

And the more he pressed, the more you got tired of only nodding with a head down. And when you talked back, he only laughed and blamed your hormones for being such a drama queen.

You amused him, and your fight response even better. Yelling became the new thing in the Lawson's home. And each made sure to have a proper turn.

Until little Lily was born.

Things grew obnoxiously quiet for Sam as you were too focused on Lily to indulge his outbursts.

At least he was gentleman enough to keep it quiet, for a bit. But Sam needed that hatred, that yelling and anger to fuel him. So he found a new way to make sure you engaged into his baiting.

He'd make noise on purpose, waking you both and Lily, keeping you exhausted and at the verge of tears. You even begged him once to let you sleep, you couldn't allow another accident due to you being beyond tired.

The bag under your eyes were heavier, weight fluctuated, but even so, Lily remained your priority. And that pissed him to no end.

That in and out continued, stretching for a long long time, everyone around you kept warming you, but you always managed to spin the conversation around. Tired was always something that described you. Your parents grew concerned and the few friends that remained on your side only supported you and Lily

Sam always had an excuse to skip family reunions. But everyone knew that it was a matter of time things to go sour.

And when your final wake up call arrived, it was like a blindfold had been removed from you.

It wasn't the argue this time, neither the beat down he awaited for so long to deliver you, despite your protest and pleas for him to stop hitting you, but the fact Sam was targeting Lily as the new victim of his rage out of control. Only cause you refused sex to him.

Because of her, you never wanted to fuck with him like the old times, you were never in the mood for anything since she arrived. Would it all be better if she was gone?

Definitely.

His mind reasoned.

But before any more tragedies could happen in the day, the vase he always complained about silenced him as it crashed on his nape, knocking him out.

And it was enough time for you to pack up whatever thing you felt necessary, grabbed your two year old crying toddler, and ran away. Ran into the freedom of the night away from Sam's suffocating claws.

No bruise or pain in your body mattered. No scream or insult engraved in your brain by his commanding and absolute voice did. Sam didn't matter anymore.

"We'll be fine, sweetheart." A reassure to you and your toddler.

----

After sojourning through different shelters and housing programs and financial aids, you finally managed to land a proper job that eventually managed you to afford a car. As long as it was functional, in good conditions, and safe wise for Lily, you couldn't care less about the model.

Your baby was three now, and finally you had managed to get a lease in a place in the middle of Nueva York's city. Perfect to reach Lily's school and your work. Life was making sure to reward your suffering with a fresh start.

The new landlord, however was everything you expected a landlord to be. Quiet, reserved, perpetually busy, grumpy at times but surprisingly, gentle and careful with the kids in the building.

Thanks to Lily, and her need of running away in random moments for you to play with her, you had ran into his apartment, your baby giggled as she stumbled upon a curious and surprised looking Miguel in the doorway.

"My goodness, I'm so sorry! Lily, darling come! This is not playtime."

Miguel chuckled softly as your daughter hid behind him.

"I think your mother is right, princesita. Go to her."

"But she is no fun!" Lily pouted, "And she's always busy and tired to play with me."

Your cheeks flustered and your eyes blinked, truly not expecting for her to vent your personal occurrences, but also hurting for the tinge of disappointment in her voice.

Miguel picked her up, and your heart leaped nervously, ready to take the harsh and judging words for not being able to properly take care of your child, like everyone.

But they never came.

"I know it must be frustrating for you to not having mommy to play with you, corazón, but running into places like that is wrong. And quite dangerous. Something could happen to you, and mommy would be extremely sad and upset."

Lily nodded apologizing, as he delivered her back to you.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. O'Hara. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry about it. They're children."

"Say sorry to Mr. O'Hara for running without his permission into his home."

Your baby girl apologized, and after him reassuring it was fine, that she only needed to be careful, you returned to your apartment.

Miguel O'Hara or Mr. O'Hara for the other tenants, seemed a regular man, always up to something in the building and making sure everyone lived in perfect conditions. A place that most in the neighborhood wanted to live in.

Not only because of him and his gorgeous looks, but the actual quality of life the building had, despite being an old one.

If the sink was dripping, he made sure to see it as soon as possible. You found out that plumbing, wall repairing and other appliances were in his repertoire of knowledge, he was a multitasking man, that always waved your little girl of they met in the hall, no matter how busy he was.

The 'Hi, Mr. O'Hara!' echoed every morning through the halls along his 'Good morning, princesita.' and every evening when you returned from work and picking up Lily.

But besides your toddler interacting with him, there wasn't much reason for you to approach him. Matters of the heart were too recent and fragile to approach. Your heart had so much to do to glue back the pieces Samuel had made sure to break.

And he was always busy. Always with his head into something. Life however had these little moments that conceded you a hint of what ifs and what not.

Like Miguel helping you with the grocery bags that gave you trouble, Him making sure everything in your apartment worked properly, fixing a tire from your car and sharing a bit of his food, something that Lily rambled once to him. She told him about you praising the smell of his food from across the hall, and next thing you know, is him delivering a bowl of freshly made Tinga in your hands.

"Made a bit too much of it." He mumbled with a coy smile after greeting Lily with a smile.

He was good with the other kids, but with Lily he interacted the most. The other kids just greeted him and kept it to themselves.

Food sharing however, was only the start of something neither were aware of it brewing.

It all started with you, retrieving the favor with some baked goods, a flan. Something your daughter saw him eating a couple of times along a pack of coffee. He was always smelling like that fancy colombian package with extra roast. And a little Thank you note.

He replied with an envelope full of coupons from the supemarket on things you'd need, along a 'Saw these in my mail, I think they're more useful to you."

Cause in truth, what other concerns a single and childless man like him could have?

He realized you were a single mom cause of Lily. He noticed how she never mentioned her dad.

"Mommy doesn't like talking about him."

The girl said and it was enough for him to understand.

A couple of days later, you'd have him in the kitchen sink, looking through the pipes of the dishwasher. As it refused to work.

Miguel was patient, and explained what was wrong and pulled out a couple of toys in pieces that obstructed the blades.

Your cheeks were burning from the embarrassment, but he wasn't mad. He wasn't angry at your toddler for behaving like a child. Unlike Sam, that yelled whenever Lily cried.

"Don't you worry about it. It happens way too often than you think."

"Still, sorry, There's times when I just wanna come home and crash on bed. Work is a bit stressful and I just wanna do my best for her."

"Hey, relax." His hand caressed your arm gently, a brief yet soothing gesture that had your heart running leaps in your chest, "She's lucky to have you as a mom."

"You think? I felt terrible when she said I didn't have any time to play with her."

"She's too young to understand all what you must do for her, preciosa. Don't rack your brain about it."

"Thank you, Miguel." His words had been like a balm to your aching soul. None had actually had the decency to acknowledge everything you did for your kid, as they were all too busy judging. But not Miguel.

He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck nervously.

"I... I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place and have some dinner?"

"Oh?"

He gulped on your surprise, "It's alright if you don't. I think... fuck. I think that was too soon." He swallowed again, tensing.

You chuckled, "It's alright. I'll bring the dessert. And Lily if that's okay."

"It's perfect" He breathed, relieved, "She needs to keep me updated in this story on the beetle she saw in her classroom."

You laughed and his heart shuddered at the sound.

"Seems we both need an update on it."

----

"And it flew! It was buzzing and then landed on a flower outside."

"No way! Look at that, you fought the beetle! "

"Mommy says they help the flowers to grow. But everyone was scared and I fought it off!"

"Good job, princesa." Miguel chuckled as he served Lily her plate of food while you cut the flan in pieces.

The not so-date was fun and offered you a new perspective on eachother. And so the many others you had.

But life had been in a weird mood that pressed enough just to remind you, the dangers out there.

You had just came from a true date with Miguel as Lily was with her grandma. You really never lost contact with your parents, and when you grew quiet, they were concerned. But now that everything was going as smoothly as it could, the weekend visits were a must to make up for all the missing time.

You took the elevator first, to change into something more, sultry to match the night overall's mood. The soft caresses and lingering looks between Miguel and you were undeniable. And rightfully so, he had earned that spot into your heart, and what a better way to reward him with something you both died for to enjoy?

As you grabbed your keys and opened the door, a rough calloused hand grabbed you by your hair.

"Well, well.. Long time no see honey."

He pushed you in, but you budged, moving away from him yet his firm grip tightened.

"Let me go!"

Samuel had found you, after years of looking on his own. His beer breath wasn't news, yet the stench of it all made you retch and move away.

He slammed you against the wall and hovered over your trembling form.

"Where's Lily?!" he grabbed you by the collar of your dress and you spat his face.

"Fuck you!" A punch landed on your cheekbone, sending you to the floor, stunned.

"Do you know how long it took me to find you?! Where the fuck is my daughter!?"

He sat on your hips to ground you as his fist hovered over your face. No harm came however.

Strong and tanned hands pulled the paler guy away from you, like a ragdoll, growling as Miguel squashed him against the floor.

Samuel was no match for him, but the last thing you needed was more violence. Despite the anger consuming him, Miguel tossed Samuel off the stairs, earning him a pained groan from the man.

Your ex laid on the floor, unable to get up as Miguel dialed the police. Within matters of minutes, Samuel had been taken care of and took away.

You on the other hand, cried in Miguel's arms. Shaking and sobbing as the landlord himself tended your wounds, apprehension in his face.

How dared that man to touch you?, How dared that man to even think about hurting his own child? He was thankful Lily wasn't around, or Migue truly didn't know what he would be capable of.

You had explained everything to him. How it all started with Samuel, how everything changed and how you had to escape him in order to save Lily from a certain death.

To your little surprise, Sam had been escaping the law for a few years now. But that chapter in your life was now closed and tossed forever to a vault underground and threw the key somewhere you couldn't care less at the moment, nor later or ever.

"You're safe now, corazón." He cradled you against his chest, promising not a single harm would come to you now.

----

The two parallel lines in the pregnancy test finally showed up, announcing the start of a new life within you.

Moving in with Miguel in his apartment, was only one of the many perks that came in hand when dating him.

Your heart finally had the chance of opening and receive and give all that love you always dreamed of receiving again.

Miguel didn't lie, Miguel didn't treat you good because he wanted something out of you, he praised you whenever your efforts came to fruition, and was always pampering Lily, to the point of her calling him by accident dad a couple of times.

But he liked it. He loved the sound of that title in your daughter's life. Miguel was everything that was good in this world. Sure, he had a temper, but never lashed out on you or Lily. He never yelled or screamed, or bait you into a fighting game.

And it terrified you at first. You were so used to chaos that anything like calm and conflict resolution was something you had to learn if you wanted him to be at your side.

Therapy always worked and it helped you to improve all those pestering thoughts Samuel had planted on your mind.

Miguel had taken his sweet time into proving that you no longer had to fear for your life and Lily's. That you no longer had to scream to have your voice listened or that you had to fight in order to have something done.

You didn't have to be on survival and flight or fight mode.

And when you delivered the news to him? He showered your face in affection, praised you for making him the happiest man ever. Even thanked you for making one of his dreams come true.

-----

And when you found out another girl was on the way, you braced for impact.

At first, a deep part you thought that Miguel would act exactly like Samuel, and as much as it hurt you to think that way, some pains never truly left. They just remained dormant and buried away.

But again, nothing but love came your way. Miguel rambled to no end about the baby's room color, how Lily would be an amazing big sister and how she was also thrilled to have a sister.

He was excited. Not yelling. Miguel complimented your body changes and kissed your baby bump in every chance he had, not calling you a lazy fat ass.

He'd cook for you and even going to the extent of visiting the convenience store at wee hours of the night to have your cravings met, not telling you to shut the fuck up an let him sleep.

Miguel didn't allow you to stand too much time once your last trimester hit. He took charge of your home and kept it clean and comfortable for you, not insulting, yelling and accusing you for being exhausted and putting up excuses to have the house clean and his dinner ready.

Miguel was gentle and always praised you. He spent those times when you needed him buried into you, worshipping your body with such care and love before, during and after he was done pleasing you, not fucking the daylights out of you and leaving you to clean after yourself the mess he created, not caring at all if you were sore.

The sole idea of hitting you, terrified him, he confessed once, not amused him. Miguel didn't get off by taunting you with slurs like Sam did. He didn't had fun into competing for who screamed more before your voices gave out, like Sam did.

He accompanied you to every single doctor appointment and even bought you vitamins and supplements, not complained all the way home on how expensive everything was and how much you owed him for the appointment and medicines. If he bought you any.

Thank heavens Lily came perfectly healthy thanks to the vitamins your parents gave you.

And he definitely didn't hit you, dehumanized you and treated you poorly, like Samuel did.

You felt ashamed for even daring to do such comparison, but it was unavoidable. Not when everything you had know was chaos and this man offered you a complete opposite spectrum of a love you always dreamed off.

And when Gabriella was born, yours and his dream was finally complete. You got true and untampered love, and he got a family on his own, ready to show you the true meaning of such word.

[ahungeringknife]

365: May 10

Ikora rose an eyebrow when Cayde came around her side of the table. He didn't say anything just sort of hummed and made noise as he looked over her papers. Zavala was engaged with something along the wall that monitored the City's defenses. "Did you need something, Cayde?" Ikora asked once she was tired of his snooping.

"I think... I think something messed up happened," he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked not looking like she was giving him her full attention but actually doing so.

"I had lunch with the Guardian today," he said. "She said some things that... worried me."

"What of?"

"Something big happened. She said," and he signed the next part, knowing Ikora would understand, 'They're fine. Kaley and Rigel finally went on a date. Life and death situation you-'

"Well they are Guardians," Ikora said mildly.

"We haven't sent Glitterbomb on a mission since Kass disobeyed a direct order not to go into the Black Garden," Cayde said. "There's been no 'life or death situation' since then. Right? Unless you're not telling me something?" he put his hands on the table and looked at her hard. Cayde could be a real funny guy but you did not mess with his Hunters. He might have hated being Vanguard with every circuit in his body but he took the job very seriously. More seriously than most people realized honestly.

"I tell you everything," Ikora said.

"We both know that isn't true but I appreciate the attempt," Cayde said, not taking it personally. "Zavala's said nothing?"

"Zavala leaves Hunters to you and Xander. He's got no need to strong arm them," Ikora said mildly.

"You don't think Xander's done something behind our back?"

"I'm sure he has. But this? No," she said casually. "Since Saladin returned to Russia he's been much more agreeable." Yeah no shit. Saladin and Xander got along like oil and water and had since Cayde had set foot in the Tower for the first time. Xander was at least polite when he told Saladin to go fuck himself. Usually at any rate.

"So what'd they do?"

"How would I know-- don't give me that look, Cayde," she tutted.

"You're the spy master. Know some spy shit," he said bluntly, not impressed.

"I have a lot to do. Go worry yourself somewhere else," she said dismissively.

Cayde huffed and walked off, arms folded. "Sundance call up the Grey Dawn," he said as he wandered around the Hall, not looking at anything specific. He just thought better while walking.

"You know they hate being summoned."

"Oh well," he shrugged.

"Cayde," Grey's sultry voice came out of Sundance. If the Grey Dawn didn't scare the pants off him they absolutely had a voice that'd make him rip his pants off around them. "Is there something you need?"

"How's your rookie?"

"Wonderful. I don't enjoy social calls from the Vanguard. What do you want?"

No, he supposed they didn't. The Grey Dawn didn't really do authority. They only hung around as a courtesy to help train the rare Nightstalker that showed up. And of course now they'd taken on a rookie. Cayde had looked at their file when they had. Most Hunters eventually became a mentor, took on a rookie under their cloak to show them the ropes. The Grey Dawn had been training Nighstalkers for centuries but had never taken one as a rookie until a few months ago. It was... odd. Very out of character for the ultimate loner on the hunt.

"You guys do anything fun recently?"

"We always have fun. You'll have to be more specific, Cayde," and that made him shiver. Fuck that person freaked him out so much. Shouldn't. They were a Guardian. Talking to old Guardians was always unsettling and Grey reveled in it. You'd think Cayde would have a worse time talking to actual problems like Ana or Shin but no. Shin was just a petty brat with a chip on his shoulder and Ana was just manic in her search for who she had been. But they weren't... off. Maybe that was why the Guardian liked Grey. They were both a bit off.

"Something dangerous. Real fun around real death, that kinda thing," Cayde said casually, standing in front of a display of the EDZ. Lights marked different fireteams in the zones doing strikes or running patrol. A triangular mark were their herd hunters who helped the wild predator populations keep the deer and bison herds in check so they didn't starve themselves come winter. His glowing eyes tracked each beacon, Guardian or not, on the map, attaching it to a report or mission brief that had come across his desk.

The Grey Dawn didn't answer him but they also didn't hang up. "Did she say something?" they said after a solid minute of tense silence. "What did she say? She-- hasn't spoken to me about it."

"She said your Warlocks hooked up," Cayde said. "What happened?" he glanced at Sundance who'd moved closer to him to keep the volume quiet, the conversation private. He made a motion with his eyes and she slid into the hood of his cloak so she could whisper it into his ear.

Again the Grey Dawn said nothing but didn't hang up. This time the silence stretched for a long time. "Come out to the tree in the back," they said and Sundance closed.

Cayde immediately turned and left the Hall of the Vanguard.

He found the Grey Dawn sitting on a planter backed by a shrub that had just been in bloom but now was full of wilting flowers. Characteristically they were dressed all in gray and white and everything about them was washed out like someone had taken the saturation slider and slid it down on them.

He sat next to them. "What happened?"

"What'd she say?" the Grey Dawn asked right back. Cayde repeated the sign to them. They sighed and looked up at the clear sky above them. "There is no report. This didn't happen."

"But it didn't?"

"It doesn't make any sense."

"What happened?" Cayde pressed.

"We went into a Vex stronghold. That's the best I can describe it without sounding like a madman. We were in there for-- too long. We fought a lot of Vex. We died a lot of times. We were drawn down into the heart of the stronghold where a great Vex Mind who could control the flow of time was waiting for us."

"Did you kill it?"

"... I assume so?" they sounded unsure. Cayde didn't feel fear often. But hearing someone like the Grey Dawn sound unsure? Someone he knew for a fact was powerful and capable. They didn't know? It made him... uneasy. He didn't want to call it fear. "When we came out of our deaths it was gone. Kassandra said she shattered it."

"And then you came back out?"

"We climbed back out," they looked off into the middle distance. "It almost got us so many times even after we'd killed the time's conflux," they said. Cayde didn't know what that meant. He knew Sundance was recording everything they said. If and when he'd share it with Ikora. Their eyes snapped back to the present. "We haven't really talked about it. That's all she said?"

"That was it," Cayde said.

"I'm worried about her," they said.

"You haven't before. Why now?"

The Grey Dawn's face grew drawn and thin. "You know how you told me she killed that Devil Archon her first day or something?"

"Yeah?"

"And I said that was fucked up? How'd someone so young show that much power?"

"Yeah?"

"It was fucked up," was all the Grey Dawn said.

"She was fucked up?" he clarified.

"Never seen anything like it," they said quietly. They crossed themselves in an old traditional Hunter's mark over their collar bone. A warding against danger. Cayde hadn't seen it used since before the Great Disaster over two centuries ago.

"You guys okay?" Cayde asked.

"Tsk, me? No," it wasn't about the dissent and Cayde knew that. "The kids though? Probably. They're strong."

"Should we be worried about the Guardian?" Cayde asked.

"Did she seem okay to you?" They didn't answer the question.

"Quiet but she seemed fine," he said.

"I'm her mentor so I worry but... I'm supposed to, you know?" they shrugged. "But she did seem okay?"

"She wasn't screaming mad. Should probably eat more," he said mildly.

The Grey Dawn huffed, "Trust me. Me and Ghost harp on her all the time about it. She just forgets. Gets excited about something, focused on the mission, and food becomes an after thought." They sighed and looked back up at the sky. "Don't tell Ikora, will ya?"

"I don't know why you think I would," Cayde pretended to be insulted.

The Grey Dawn made a finger gun right at Sundance in his hood, trying to hide behind his neck. "I see your little brain cell in there. She's smart. I don't need Warlocks or the Hidden getting in our business," they said.

"You haven't told me anything interesting enough to tell Ikora. You guys just fought some Vex."

The Grey Dawn chuckled and if Cayde didn't know any better it almost sounded like a sob, or insanity. "Yeah. Just some Vex," and they pushed off their knees and stood. Cayde watched them walk away, their long white cloak had strange markings on it he'd never seen before, metallic and almost like a mechanical spine that flared and became wings at the shoulders.

"On a scale of one to fucked how much do you think I should be worried about this?" Cayde asked Sundance once they were gone.

"Hmmm," she thought about it seriously. "I'd say somewhere around not enough to keep you up at night but enough we should still tell Ikora."

"Yeah. That's about where I thought too," he said. He got up and headed back to the Hall of the Vanguard to do just that.

[thathermitweirdo]

The world wasn't what it used to be.

Or maybe it had always been like this.

Cruel.

Brutal.

Unforgiving.

That's what they all have in common, is it not? Suffering. And while everyone has suffered, not everyone handles it in the best manner.

Many have faced the agony and pain at the hands of this unjust world. Some have been subjected to the pain that others inflicted upon them. And while most are able to press forward, to move on as the dust begins to clear, others are incapable. Some are too broken. Too damaged from the burdens they had to face. And at some point, the weight of it all can become unbearable.

I suppose that is where this story takes place. With the broken. Those who were never given the chance at a healthy life. Some are able to use their past to inspire, to strive to do better and help those who suffered like them. Still, there are others who still harbor that pain. That resentment. That anger. And they wish to strike back at the world that hurt them so long ago.

All of them have suffered, and they will continue to suffer until they take their very last breath. But it's what they choose to do with that suffering. It's how they respond. How they cope. How they learn. Some may never recover from their own trauma. From their pain. It will always be a part of them. But they must choose how that part affects them.

Our story started many years ago. Although, that is not where we will begin. We will begin back on that fateful day. That day that marked the beginning of the end. A day in a busy city, bustling with life. The air was thick with noise. The streets packed with people. Just like any other city.

It would have been overwhelming, if not exciting. Exciting for him, at least. A new life to start, leaving behind his very own fragmented past in favor of a fresh start. This wasn't the first time he had left behind his past, mostly due to running away from the ghost that stalks his life. The ghost of his first life. His true life.

That ghost wouldn't find him now. At least, he hoped it wouldn't. There was a reason he joined Watcher Architects, they offered a rather high paying job in a city far, far away. Though, it didn't come without its bittersweet ending.

"You're leaving?" Jimmy asked, watching as the last of his things were packed up into boxes. "You didn't tell me you were leaving!"

He laughed slightly. "Sorry Tim, I thought it would be funny to not tell you until the very end."

"Grian!" Jimmy threw his arms up in frustration. "You cheeky— ugh, I can't believe you would do this to me!"

Rolling his eyes, Grian chuckled as he tried to playfully shove Jimmy off of him. "Come on, I'll be back in Evo for business every now and again. It's where the Watcher HQ is! But Hermitropolis has the best opportunities for me."

"Watcher Architecture Firm still sounds sketchy to me." He grumbled underneath his breath, crossing his arms with a huff.

"Come on. They're one of the biggest architectural firms around. Working with them has been a dream!"

Jimmy sighed. "I know. It's just so far away from here."

"It's like, a five hour train ride." Grian responded blankly.

"Too far." He insisted.

"If you think it's so far then why don't you just move with me?"

"Because I'm not a rich architect like you." Jimmy said while throwing himself dramatically over the apartment sofa.

Grian rolled his eyes, picking up the clear packing tape to seal the last few boxes of his belongings. "I heard Pearl might be moving too. She said she's always liked bigger cities."

"Pearl too?! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me anything!?!"

"Come on, I'll be back and forth between Evo and Hermitropolis for the first couple weeks. It'll be like I never left."

"Until you actually have to leave." Jimmy let out an exasperated sigh.

"I promise we'll keep in touch." Grian said as he sat down on the couch next to his friend. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Jimmy sighed, much more dramatically this time. “I swear if you get mugged there I will not feel the slightest bit bad. You should just stay here in Evo.”

The city of Evolution had been his home for so many years, despite not truly being a city. It was supposed to be the next big place, hence the name, yet it never really grew out of a town. It was more like a cheap knockoff of a city, really.

Grian just laughed. “I’m not gonna get mugged. Lighten up a bit, Tim. Everything's gonna be okay.”

~•~

The days leading up to the move flew by faster than Grian could have ever expected, before he was standing outside of the train station with all of his closest friends. His boxes had been shipped off to the apartment the Watchers had designated for him, so all the architect had was a backpack filled with more personal belongings.

"I never thought you'd be moving out of town." BigB said while pulling Grian into a hug.

"Seriously man, I mean, I bet you could have gotten some work here instead of having to move hours away." Martyn sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke.

"Come on, this is Grian's dream job." Pearl argued.

"That's easy for you to say! You want to move to the city too!" Jimmy snapped as he wrapped an arm around Grian and pulled him close. "I'm losing my boy! I'm never going to see you again!"

"You can very easily see me again, Timmy." Grian chuckled, "It's just a couple hours by train. Plus I'll be back in town every now and again when I need to come back to Headquarters."

"Guys, guys." A voice spoke up, walking through the small crowd of people that had gathered to wish Grian farewell. "We're gonna make G miss his train. It's not like we're never going to see him again."

"Fashionably late, I suppose?" Grian raised an eyebrow with a smirk, Taurtis laughing in response.

"Oh, you know me. I just had to get my beauty sleep."

"You forgot to set an alarm, didn't you?" Pearl asked blankly.

Taurtis flipped his hair dramatically, placing his hands on his hips. "Yes, I very much forgot."

Grian laughed while rolling his eyes. "Come here." He said, pulling Taurtis into a hug.

After a few moments of the embrace, they eventually pulled away. "Call me before you come back to town. I'm not gonna be late that time, I swear!"

"You better not," Grian joked. "I don't care how much beauty sleep you need!"

"Oh, jeez, Grian!" BigB pointed to the electronic clock above the train schedule on the wall. "You gotta go! The train should be leaving in just a couple of minutes!"

"Oh! Thanks! Sorry guys, I'll call you when I get there!" He said with a wave, rushing off to board the train.

Everyone shouted their goodbyes as they all waved him off, watching as the architect disappeared out of view.

Though little did they know of the danger that he was running away from.

[jakesangel]

hello to my beautiful princess! ^^ 💞

lately i've been dealing with so many intrupting thoughts that makes me feel so nervous and i can't focus on anything, it's even effecting my studies! 😭

do you have any advice for what should i do to not be worried about everything? like i even get stressed thinking about little things that actually doesn't matter to anyone...

i don't know how to describe it but feeling like i'm not enough for my family or friends, i'm literally trying my best to be the best. :(

p.s - you and your blog are becoming my safe place, i love you so much and wish i could hug you. <3 💘

sorry for my bad english.🧸

hello to my beautiful anon bby <3 you're english is the best ᵎ besides in the one making so many mistakes ㅋㅋ my blog is becoming a safe place >0< this is so crazy it means so so so munch to me. i'm sending a hug back bby <3

i so relate to you, i used to be so so so insecure n overthinking everything that i wouldn't let myself swallow my saliva in case i would make noises... i would also let myself endure too munhc physical pain ( holding my pre or not coughing ) for the exact same reason.

it took me a time to be better n not let things overwhelm me anymore. i've realized that i can no keep living for people for the rest of my life. it's too munch. i also realized that people don't care ᵎ do you care that people cough in class ? do you think people would even hear you swallowing ur own saliva ? of course not ! the same goes w ur worries !

not feeling enough is also a very common feeling we all more or less experience, specially growing up where everyone discovers themselves. idk about ur family situation, but as the eldest daughter in a african family, i had so so so munch of those thoughts eating me up. i'm still having those thoughts but as i learned that i am enough whether i don't study enough or not. in order to do that i had to distance myself from them a little n started to live my life. meaning like doing my own thing not depending of their opinion. like in my fam nobody eats well nor workout for health reasons. so when i started to do so, they didn't even knew it n didn't say anything either ? our family doesn't care as munch as we think they do. they'll most likely encourage you or follow your example ( my mom started to eat well just recently ! )

the same w friendship i also had trouble to think i was enough n always needed the feeling to lie to impress them. but friendship are sooo different than family love. friends don't have to stay, they don't have any obligation to stay friend w u, to feed u, or put a roof over your head. they're by ur side because they like you n think ur amazing even if they don't show it the way u want or need them to, them sticking by ur side, is the ultimate gesture of true love from friends. also you do not need to impress anyone but you. you're gonna live w urself n urself only for thé rest of your life. people coke n go n so their thoughts. they shouldn't have an impact on how u view urself or how u want to live <3

i didn't understand about your interrupting thoughts so idk what to tell you about that, tho u can come in my inbox again so i can help you if i'm able to ofc <3

[meggannn]

burning shores thoughts

gameplay:

fuck bilgeguts lmao. i dont know why guerrilla's new criteria for making machines is "1. does it spam all its aoe attacks which are impossible to dodge? 2. is it huge? 3. will it flop on top of you? most of all, 4. is it annoying?" these elements were not fun in frozen wilds and they're not fun here either

i was reluctant to embrace the gliding feature when it finally came to fw, i feel it was something guerrilla kind of shoehorned in because fans just wanted it reeeealllly badly (esp as a crutch to make fans feel better after killing off varl), and i feel somewhat vindicated here because of how goddamn clunky i still find flying even with a decent mastery of the controls. those aerial vantage points in particular were a real pain sometimes (yeah, guerilla, while this woman talks about her moral struggles in the end times, the perfect background noise is a bunch of machines yapping at me and throwing missiles my way because you FORCED me to glide into their field of view...) it is true i enjoyed soaring over the landscape at some points, but the burning shores were MADE to be soared over; it's just straight impossible to walk or swim everywhere on the map here but i genuinely still would have happily ridden a strider the whole way, because at least there i feel like i am still interacting with the world. it makes me wonder how they're going to handle this in horizon 3, if aloy will still be able to fly, because that'll negate a lot of the exploration.

speaking of: since you can now traverse great distances in seconds, burning shores feels a lot emptier than frozen wilds. idk if that was intentional or it was rushed, but i was surprised there were only like three sidequests, and entire areas were completely untouched if you didn't care to hunt down all the collectibles. i felt like the map could've been half its size and i wouldn't have lost anything.

story:

on the whole, i feel the same way about burning shores as i do the main story: unnecessary drama over billionaire characters we shouldn't be focusing on anymore. i've said it before but guerrilla's human villains are quite frankly boring, with the exception of tilda who at least had a twist, if predictable. "power-mad white guy" only worked well once with ted faro in hzd because it was simple, effective, and didn't drag itself out, and then it got boring and marvel-esque in fw with the stupid immortality plot. imo we didn't need three other flavors of power-mad white guy to deal with in the zeniths.

mind control. okay. at this point i have to accept guerrilla just wants to go full scifi/cyberpunk, which is not inherently a bad thing, but it's also not the horizon i fell in love with. their environmental focus seems to have been put on the backburner so maybe i should keep my expectations low in horizon 3. ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

it's not all bad. conceptually, there were some things i liked about it more than i liked about frozen wilds. it was clear from the offset why aloy was going to LA; that is justification i thought was weak in frozen wilds, because "dangerous machines are up in banuk territory, let's stick our nose into these tribal politics" always felt like a stupid excuse to find a way to introduce hephaestus and cyan. in burning shores, from the beginning, we know londra is dangerous and why we have to track him down. i also frankly just find the quen more interesting than the banuk but that's me. sadly though, we don't actually learn that much more about the quen because the plot is mostly about their current londra problem, not their actual culture? which is a shame. i did like the sidequest about helping people stand up to their supervisors and finding more focuses back home, though.

seyka and romance options:

in a vacuum, i like seyka well enough. i have been craving more asian characters in horizon. i don't mind the thought of aloy having a romance and i obviously support more wlw in media.

in context, it irks me a little that guerrilla's idea of "cool female character" basically amounts to the same type of person, just another aloy from another tribe: sassy, hot-headed, rule-breaking hunter/survivalist. this is just me, but i don't particularly want to see aloy get in a relationship with someone who's exactly the same as her. yes, they're similar and they both keep secrets, i see what you're saying guerrilla, but i don't actually think the way aloy interacts with other people would be good for her to experience in a partner from the other direction. "like attracts like" does happen irl, but it doesn't always make for compelling push-and-pull in a fictional relationship.

but do i want people to have the option? sure! i certainly don't want the option REMOVED now that it's there. i just grow increasingly frustrated with guerrilla's idea of which type of character is "worthy" of time and attention in this way, like we have to see a snarky young female machine hunter from every tribe until they find one that sticks. zo and alva were breaths of fresh air for this reason (not that they should've necessarily been romance options, but they're proof that guerrilla CAN write more personalities than "another flavor of aloy").

honesty hour, my real question is: did guerrilla give aloy a female romance because they wanted to shake off some of the bad blood after killing aloy's black best friend and having a predatory lesbian be hfw's main villain? maybe. i'm cynical so i do wonder.

this is gonna sound mean, but i feel like guerrilla's character writing isn't strong enough to justify romances at the moment; the cracks were there in fw but they really showed in this dlc. if all it took for aloy to have feelings for someone was to meet another rule-defying hunter woman around her age that she immediately gelled with, then talanah should be at the top of the list, who she has WAY more connection and camaraderie with, something aloy has learned IS important for her to feel secure in a relationship.

character treatment:

i'm quite frustrated guerrilla keeps introducing new shiny toys, playing with them for a while while they ignore other characters, and then any criticism of how they did a thing is now dismissed as bigotry or haterade. i'll level with you, with the way they've treated their dlc story and characters in the past, i am not optimistic seyka will have a significant role in horizon 3, so i don't even know if i should bother getting attached to her. maybe they'll prove me wrong! but where the hell were cyan, ikrie, and aratak in forbidden west? did they seriously only bring back gildun and give him a sad backstory and a focus out of pity? are they really giving HIM more depth in fw than avad, vanasha, etc? at least go back to chainscrape and give petra a focus!

[the-firebird69]

It took her electric dirt bike and we turned it into an automatic electric dirt bike but we had to beef it up a little and that's the power not much a few Watts it was about 2,000 kilowatts and we beefed it up to about 2500 KW that was to get the same power output and boy does it reduce it you think it would make it more accurate but it does not it makes it suck down the power. I'll be enough it was twice as fast in the race. It was only about 10 mph faster overall because of the power boost but when it came to racing for some reason electric dirt bikes are harder to switch gears on and we've been beating the motor cross people and we can go though distance but really a piece of living crap out of them when it's an automatic it is amazing and people were horrified when we came out with it so you see why they're sticking with a single gear cuz it can go really really fast and you don't have to change gears you don't have to concentrate on it and we managed to get it up to about 110 and it went past everybody in this motocross race and we're racing ourselves and we're comparable to actual race times and speeds and qualifying speeds and so forth and it was probably just ridiculous 20-25 seconds ahead which is almost a full lap in some cases in this case is half-lap but that's ridiculous you almost slap people and all professional racers and all of the big bikes 425s 450s and we went zooming by it's a lighter bike we weighed the same and it's easier to handle and the power band is exactly what he wanted to be and I'll tell you it's just a very nice ride by comparison and we might try automatics on our electric motorcycles those people complain it's a little difficult to ride but once you get used to it it's not and there's no coasting so it makes it a little difficult we're going to check it out

Thor Freya

It's a great idea we knew it would take more power and that's always a problem but not with the transformer and the other devices it is a really nice system so we're going to we're going to get going on it

Freya

He's got another idea and it's for me that's from me really I had to go by again on the Pagsta and it's to make it an introductory level bike he wants one for Hard knock kick her a 5150 you thought my idea was so good he said his bike first they said oh it's probably your idea sort of and he said you should do a two-stroke introductory bike and the thing is it's it's that you have to turn the throttle a lot more and women and so forth and not used to having a lot of power at the throttle they like to ease it on and be easy on and not to just jump you know just to have the machine jump so it's more comfortable for them to ride so we're going to go ahead with that and it's a great idea we have it together

Zues true. I hv a few prototypes. All are loud but meet dot standards. The noise is kind of exciting for a lot of people and interesting but the power is higher but it's only after a Time. And when you get up there with the 49cc and that's what it's really for it starts off slow and it speeds up but really if you're starting at a stoplight you know 0 to 60 in like 3.8 seconds and 0 to 80 in about 4.5 seconds so a few seconds after 60 you're going 80 just a couple seconds so 0 to 80 in 4.5 seconds it's fast very fast I usually with the 49cc 4-stroke 0 to 80 is like 5.3 seconds different the cost is cheaper and we're offering it on the HK one hk2 and hk3 and the HK one really get something moves I mean the top speed of that it's like about 120 versus now which is about 85 or 80 and people love it

Zues

We're thinking of changing to two stroke but once you get to the 110cc which is the next one it's more powerful than the two-stroke so it's not worth it so and it means dot with the exhaust in most States the difference is the selling price the HK one regular price is about $1,700 for the 49cc 4-stroke but the HK one with the two-stroke 49cc is with all the same stuff on it the same exact bike is about $1,300 and it used to be that price a while ago but it's not because of the stroke formation it's because prices are cheaper and we're thinking about going to Chinese type construction but we're waiting to see if others will buy it but really we could do that but you know it really would not make a huge price difference maybe $100 a bike what would make a difference would be recycling and they said they don't want to do that because it turns people off when we already have a company doing it so it's all brand new materials but here we go this is the new price range for the pagster of the Joseph Pike's pagliani mini chopper and it's not price the starting price is $1,200 for the 49cc introductory pagliani mini chopper and it's bigger than the first ones and he decided it doesn't look that small it's about a size of a hk2 Hard knock kicker 5150 and it's a great bike and I'm selling it now and it's all DOT approved and the 49cc is not allowed on the highway if it's considered to be a scooter and these are not scooters because of the speeds and you have to register it as a scooter but you can go on the highway in some states you have to check your state Florida 49cc no matter how fast it goes it's a scooter and you can go on the highway with this easily

Hera

Wow what a reaction now there's practically not so we're thinking of going to Chinese products type stuff but like they said it would be $100 a bike so we don't know what to do so he says introduce the introductory model as a two-stroke because it's kind of a risk anyways as recycled materials and people buy it and they'll say it's just as good that's a risk you can just switch back and say it's made with all new materials cuz it wasn't working out and we say things like it doesn't work for us and things like that but it might be a he's got another idea he said to introduce a bike it looks like a rat and it's made from recycled materials but it's not like painted up like a man just looks like one and we know how to do that it's you know it would be painted up it wouldn't be rusty so you introduce a separate model and still have the 49cc but introduce a different one like a actual chopper for paxter that is recycled in Chinese style parts manufacturing and she says yes so I'm going to put it forward to everybody

Thor Freya

Olympus

[echthr0s]

essentially I think, as a chronically unhappy person, that there's an art in learning to accept a certain level of unhappiness in one's life

and I'm aware that that probably sounds like a red-flag statement because of how polarised everything has gotten. there's a general intolerance to any sort of dissatisfaction or unhappiness, despite the fact that these are indelible aspects of being a sapient entity capable of comprehending its own existence. we have to fight it! we have to manifest everything we want so we are never dissatisfied again! (because there's no way we won't just find new things to be dissatisfied about! pffff as if!) if someone makes us unhappy we just have to jettison them out of our lives post-haste! if it isn't good enough, throw it away!

and I mention polarisation in regards to this specifically because it erases any grey area of just... being unhappy sometimes. of just feeling bored and restless and maybe you'll shave half your hair off and dye the rest of it pink. sometimes your partner will say something and you'll be like "oh my god you don't understand me AT ALL" and consider packing a bag and leaving the state. it's just a thing that happens. it doesn't mean that you should actually shave your head and leave your partner and move to the Pacific Northwest (where, of course, everyone would understand you perfectly and the weather will always be the way you like it). you at some point learn to discern 'Boy Howdy Am I A Grumpy Gills Today' from 'Actually, This Is Legitimately Bad For Me And I Should Change It' or else you're constantly upending your life and ghosting your friends and buying things and throwing things away all in the vain pursuit of Never Feeling Bad Ever Again About Anything.

pouting, kvetching, having a sulk, reblogging emo images to your tumblr, journalling about how awful everything is and no one understands and also you're really hungry but that's probably unrelated to your feelings at present, these are important skills! learning how to be unhappy is foundational. that's how you stop taking out your unhappiness on everyone else. yeah, that storm cloud is raining on you and you alone. big deal, happens to all of us. pop an umbrella (and go eat something, for christ sake)

[rosiesung]

7 Days || Y.JW

for @geminirules "Just Friends" collab

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Pairing: Jungwon x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Friends to Lovers AU

Words: 3.63k

Warnings: Reader calls Jungwon a dick.

Synopsis: You are dared to pretend to be in a relationship with your best friend Jungwon. Initially, you go through with the childish challenge, knowing it will be insignificant to your friendship. But as the days pass, you begin to realise your true feelings for him. Will your revelations ruin your friendship? Or will something beautiful blossom because of them?

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

"I dare you to pretend like you're dating Jungwon for a whole week."

You looked at your best friend with wide eyes, a similar expression of surprise on his face. There was no way you were going to do that. It would be way too awkward.

"Come on y/n. Don't be a party pooper. It's not like you guys are going to fall in love."

Of course things wouldn't turn out that way. No matter what, nothing would change the way you saw Jungwon. He would always remain your best friend and nothing more.

Jungwon looked too embarrassed to say anything. Both of you knew it was just a dare. What was the worst that could happen?

"Fine. Starting tomorrow Jungwon's my unofficial-official boyfriend," you announced, linking your arm with his. Jungwon hid his face in his hands as everyone around you screamed and cheered. This was going to be one interesting week.

~

☀︎ DAY 1 ☀︎

Since you only had to put on a show in front of your friends, you figured the best thing to do would be to hang out with Jungwon in solitude. He didn't have a problem with your plan. You both had been having playdates together ever since you were three. He was comfortable being alone with you.

Both of you met at your secret spot. A small grove behind the schoolyard. It was a place the two of you had found while skipping classes one day. Ever since then, this was where you spent time together whenever you needed some peace and quiet.

"I can't believe you actually agreed to this," Jungwon said, mindlessly plucking the grass he laid on. You sighed, staring at the row of trees beyond. "A dare's a dare. Besides, we have nothing to worry about because we don't have feelings for each other."

Jungwon sat up. "You know that we can't avoid all of them for the entire week right? They're literally planning to hang out at the cafe just so they can see us in the act." He sounded worried. There was no need to be.

"Of course I know that. So what? We'll let them see what they want to. It's not like they're going to make us kiss or something. The most we'll do is feed each other and hold hands."

Unlike Jungwon, you had already thought everything out. You knew how far to go while respecting the boundaries of your friendship. All Jungwon had to do was trust you.

He cringed in disgust at your words. "You're going to pay for landing me in this mess. We've barely even started and I already feel so miserable."

You patted his shoulder, flashing him an assuring smile. "You're not alone in your miser mister. After this is over, I'll do all your homework for you."

Jungwon laughed. "Learn how to do your own first. Then you can come and ruin mine."

~

☀︎ DAY 2 ☀︎

As Jungwon had predicted, your friends called you out to the cafe. Both of you were supposed to show up together. Jungwon met you a block away from the cafe, looking incredibly reluctant. "Are you sure you want to do this," he asked, just about ready to turn back around.

There was a determined look in your eyes. "Remember when he had to play Hansel and Gretel's parents for that play we did in preschool?" Jungwon nodded. He could never forget that day. "If we managed to get through that, we can get through this without a problem."

That made sense. Appreciative of your pep talk, Jungwon took your hand and whisked you away to the cafe.

By the time you reached your destination, both your hands were sweaty. Jungwon was just as nervous as you were. Not only because you had to pretend like you were dating, but also because your friends weren't going to miss the opportunity to tease you.

Seeing you two enter hand in hand, everyone began hooting and cheering. Jungwon's cheeks flushed almost immediately. You had to drag him towards the table you were supposed to sit at. "It's nice to see you two arriving together," one of your friends said, making space for you.

Taking a seat, you watched in horror as they placed a glass of juice with two straws in front of you both. No one had to explain what its purpose was. You glanced at Jungwon whose eyes were fixated on the glass hesitantly.

"If we get this over with now we'll be at peace," you whispered, leaning forward to place one of the straws between your lips. You looked away when Jungwon did the same, feeling the heat in his face on your cheek. You were certain you had never downed a drink so fast in your life. It didn't take long for you to finish the contents of the glass, quickly sitting back up to catch your breath. Your friends couldn't seem to get enough of the event, laughing and clapping avidly.

"You guys are so cute," some said. "Both of you would make such a nice couple in reality," said others.

Sitting there amongst your terribly evil friends, you wondered how you were going to get through the next five days with Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 3 ☀︎

Your friends had invited you to another escapade at the park. You couldn't tell what they had in plan this time but you were sure it wasn't going to be enjoyable. At least this time, you and Jungwon didn't have to show up hand in hand.

When you reached the park, Jungwon was already there. Your friends beckoned you over, making you stand next to him.

"Now that our subjects have arrived, here's your to-do list. First, remain holding hands the entire time we are here. Second, Jungwon, give y/n your jacket if she starts feeling cold. Third, walk her back home and make sure you give her a nice, sweet little kiss before she goes inside."

Jungwon let out a noise of surprise. He wanted to run as far as he could and never come back. Holding your hand was fine. He had gotten used to it because of the previous day. He didn't mind giving you his jacket, but you were already wearing one so he didn't see why he would find the need to. Jungwon could do many things. But kissing you was not one of them. It didn't matter if it was on your cheek, your forehead, or the back of your hand, because there was no way on earth that he would bring his lips anywhere near yours.

What neither of you realized was that your friends were willing to go to the farthest lengths to make sure you went through with their tasks. They made you two walk in front of them so that they could see your hands intertwined. When the sun went down and the air started getting colder, they made you take your jacket off so that Jungwon would be left with no choice but to give you his. Just when it seemed like your night of torture would come to an end, they even made you share a single cone of ice cream. When it was finally time to go home, two of your friends followed behind you to make sure that Jungwon did his bidding. It was awkward enough walking through your neighborhood hand in hand. Those who knew you cast looks of confusion and surprise upon you two. Eventually, you reached your doorstep. Jungwon let go of your hand, standing in front of you. He looked everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You glanced behind your shoulder, rolling your eyes when you saw your two friends filming you from behind your neighbor's car. They weren't even attempting to be discrete.

"Hurry up and kiss me already. This is too embarrassing," you urged, slapping Jungwon's arm. He sucked in a breath, pressing his lips in a thin line. "Do you think it's not for me? I mean, I'm the one who has to kiss you for heaven's sake."

"Stop pitying yourself and just get on with it. The longer we stand here the more reason they'll have to punish us tomorrow."

Jungwon stared at you long and hard. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, pressing his lips onto yours without a second thought. You froze, eyes going so wide they might have popped out of your head. Even though it was probably only for two seconds, it felt like an eternity. Time froze as you stood in the foreign feeling of his lips on yours. He pulled away almost immediately, skipping down your driveway as fast as he could with a short wave and 'good night'. Still stunned, you entered your home, breaking into a smile when you closed the door.

~

☀︎ DAY 4 ☀︎

The next day, Jungwon asked you to meet him at your secret spot. So far, your friends hadn't made any plans to get you together. You saw Jungwon sitting in the middle of the grove, laying down on the damp grass as he usually did. Walking over, you sat down beside him, flicking his forehead so that he would open his eyes.

He grinned on seeing you, sitting up with a soft groan. "So, how was your night?"

You furrowed your brows at the question. It wasn't like him to ask you things like that. But you decided to overlook it. Maybe he was still feeling a bit awkward after the kiss you both hard shared the previous night.

You shrugged. "It was fine. How was yours?"

"I couldn't sleep," he revealed. It sounded like he'd been dying to tell you. "Why's that," you asked, believing that you had an idea of the reason.

"Last night scarred me," Jungwon shared, pretending to gag. You didn't know why, but hearing him say that made your heart sink. Suddenly, you felt horrible. "Was it really that bad," you asked, genuinely curious to know what he thought of it. Jungwon nodded, making you feel even worse. "It was worse than I thought it would be," he added. Your eyes started stinging. A lump formed in your throat and the longer you held it back, the more it hurt. You knew you hadn't been eager to kiss him, but you would argue about how 'bad' it was. But bringing that up right now would just be stupid. Jungwon would misunderstand where you were coming for and that would just lead to another disaster entirely. You had told yourself that you weren't going to let this dare get to you, but four days in you were already slipping. The longer you sat there, listening to Jungwon whine and complain about everything he'd had to do with you so far, the harder it became to control your emotion. Not able to take it anymore, you got up abruptly and ran away, leaving Jungwon sitting there extremely puzzled.

~

☀︎ DAY 5 ☀︎

You didn't respond to any of Jungwon's calls or texts. You didn't have it in you to face him. He would be disappointed if he found out the real reason behind your sappy mood. So you were gonna wait till you got over it before facing him.

You still couldn't believe that you had been so affected by Jungwon saying that he hated the kiss. Despite telling yourself that you disliked it too, you couldn't help but think otherwise. There was something so magical about it. You had never felt that way because of a kiss before. Whenever you thought back to it, an exciting warmth rippled through your mind. Your heart danced in glee and a wide smile formed on your lips.

But you weren't supposed to feel that way. Jungwon was your best friend. Besides, he hadn't kissed you willingly. You didn't understand why it felt so special to you when it clearly meant nothing to him. You knew you couldn't blame him for that. His mind was wired to see you as nothing more than a friend. You found it hilarious. Here you were, realizing that you probably liked your best friend after having continuously assured yourself and him that something like that would never happen. The sad part was that Jungwon would never reciprocate your feelings. You were all alone in this.

A knock sounded at your window, startling you. Slipping out of your reverie, you glanced towards it, eyes widening in surprise when you saw Jungwon crouched before it. You didn't think twice before letting him in. He entered your room and stood in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You wanna explain what happened yesterday?"

You frowned and turned away shoulders slouching disinterestedly. "Is that what you came here for," you asked, regretting letting him in?

"Well did I have a choice? You've been blatantly ignoring me while all I've been trying to do is make sure you're alright," he said, stepping closer to you.

"I'm fine. If that's all you needed to hear, you can leave now," you replied. You didn't need him prying and prodding at you right now.

Jungwon stood his ground, clearly not satisfied with your answer. "No, you're not y/n. You aren't fine. Tell me what's bothering you."

You sighed and faced him. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to know."

Jungwon furrowed his brows. He didn't know what that meant. "I think I'll be the judge of that."

"It's you. You're bothering me," you spoke, narrowing your eyes at him. Jungwon hadn't been expecting that. But he didn't let the surprise show on his face. "What did I do?"

"You made me feel so worthless and undesirable. But that's not your fault. I can't blame you because you're right to think that way about me. I'm just pitying myself here and there's nothing you can do about it so please, just leave me alone." The tears were coming back again. You didn't want to break down in front of Jungwon. His face fell. He didn't know what to say to that. He thought you knew he was just being overdramatic. He seriously hadn't meant to hurt you. Before he could apologize, you turned to him. "I don't think I'll be good at keeping this a secret, so let me just tell you that I'm starting to catch feelings for you. If that makes you uncomfortable then you can leave. If you have something to say, just say it and go. But don't ask me why I feel the way I do because that's something I'm yet to figure out."

Jungwon was at a loss for words. He stood there, gaping at you like an open-mouthed fish before turning on his heel and exiting through your bedroom door. You heard your mother yelp on seeing him, probably wondering where he had shown up from. A part of you wished that he hadn't left, but the other was glad that he was gone. You felt like a fool for letting all of this happen. You should have never agreed to this dare. Who would have thought it would lead to something like this? There was nothing you could do now. There was no way you could change the way you felt. Because at the end of the day, it was as clear as ever, that you were undeniably in love with your best friend Yang Jungwon.

~

☀︎ DAY 6 ☀︎

Jungwon couldn't stop thinking about everything you had told him yesterday. He would never have imagined that you would catch feelings, especially through such a childish dare. Your friends had called you out to the park again today, but Jungwon wasn't going to go. He knew you wouldn't be there so there was no point. He wished he could tell you that he hadn't meant half the things he'd said about the kiss at the grove that day. He was just trying to show you that the kiss hadn't made him feel some type of way. Not just that, but he was also attempting to persuade himself that he indeed had loathed it. Maybe he should have been truthful instead of lying about it.

This was exactly what he'd been afraid of. Jungwon was always fond of you. He cared for you and he wouldn't lie when he said that he loved you. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he felt that way because he thought of you as more than a friend. Jungwon didn't want to convince himself that he liked you just because you had confessed to him. He wanted to understand the way he truly felt about you.

He knew every little thing about you. No one knew you as well as he did. Jungwon cherished your friendship and the time he spent with you. Whenever anything bugged him, he always came to you, knowing that you were the only person who could make things better. He relied on you more than anyone else. He couldn't go a day without speaking to you. After yesterday, he realized how important you were to him. The fear of losing you ate at him the longer he stayed away from you.

Jungwon hated knowing that you were sad. It hurt more to know that he was the reason behind it. He wanted nothing more than to hug you and apologize for making you feel bad. He felt guilty for everything he had done. It had only been a couple hours since he had last spoken to you, but it felt longer. He missed you so much.

So he left you a text, asking you to meet him at your secret spot. He kept his phone close, waiting till you replied. But you didn't. You probably wanted nothing to do with him. Nonetheless, he still hoped and prayed that you would give him one last chance to make things right again. He couldn't afford to lose someone as special as you. There was nothing for him if he didn't have you.

~

☀︎ DAY 7 ☀︎

Jungwon laid in the grass, staring at the dull sky above. It was filled with clouds, hiding the sun. The grove felt so big and endless when he was alone. When he was with you, it was much more cozy and bright, even if the atmosphere was gloomy.

He had been waiting for you for quite a long time now. You hadn't replied to his message last night, but he knew you had seen it. Just before he was about to lose hope, he heard the grass crunch a few feet away from him. Jungwon didn't have to look to know it was you. No one else knew the path to get here.

"What do you want," you asked, voice small but laced with malice. You were cross with him. Jungwon wished to change that today. He patted the space next to him. "Let's not pretend like we hate each other. You could do the worst thing to me but I'd still admire you."

You didn't argue and sat down beside him. Other than the tension in the air, everything felt normal. There was a scowl on your face. It must have taken a lot of convincing for you to come here. Jungwon needed to get to the point.

"I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't even mean half of those things."

You scoffed. "Oh really? They sounded pretty heartfelt to me."

Jungwon sat up. "I was just trying to enforce the idea that I wasn't into you, on myself," he revealed, hoping that you would forgive him. "And being a dick was the only way you could do that? Jungwon, you weren't the only one who was attempting to suppress their feelings," you refuted.

"I know y/n. And it's my fault for not realizing sooner," he admitted, hanging his head. You sighed and shook your head. "This is so immature. I can't believe we're letting a stupid dare get in the middle of our friendship."

Jungwon chuckled darkly. "Maybe it's a sign that our friendship has run its course."

You turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Jungwon smiled. "I gave it some thought yesterday. We're both attempting to be in denial of our feelings. Obviously, that isn't working out. If it wasn't for this dare, they would've remained buried deep down somewhere. But I guess you could say everything happens for a reason." He took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. "I never realized how much I loved this feeling until I had to go a whole two days without it."

You couldn't even hide your smile. "Where is this going Jungwon?"

"Maybe we should give this a chance. Give us a chance. Who knows? It could turn out the be the best thing that's ever happened to us," he said, meeting your eyes.

"And what if it doesn't? We would be throwing so many years of friendship away."

Jungwon shook his head. "How long are we supposed to contradict how we truly feel about each other? That would take a heavier toll on us."

You laughed, squeezing his hand. "It doesn't hurt to try I guess."

Jungwon beamed. "That's the spirit!" It felt nice to see you smiling at him again. He was grateful for that. It was funny how a large part of his mood depended on you. If you were happy, he was happy. If you were sad, he was sad. His entire world revolved around you, and Jungwon knew the best thing to do was strengthen that bond.

"So, will you be my girlfriend," he asked, smiling cheekily. You bit your lip, looking at him through your lashes. "Of course I will."

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Please let me know how you found it! Thank you so much!

[xxxsoukokuxxx]

I want to hurt myself so- can I request for an angst scenario where Dazai finally opens up about his feelings with someone after a long time (bcz y'know) and they end up taking up advantage of it or using it??? If you want to add on something (not necessary) for Y/N's personality then I would say they're kind of like Nanno??? They give karma to people who have done bad deeds in the past. Thank you!! Sorry if it's too much, I just get excited

Character: Dazai x reader

Warnings: Depressing themes; mentions of self-harm; break-up; spelling errors/grammar errors

Notes: Hi there! Hope you're doing well. So sorry about making you wait so long, I've just been really busy, I hope you understand. Thank you for your patience. Okay, so I didn't know who "Nanno" was so I searched it up and it says something about her being the human embodiment of karma or something? I'll try to write something close to that

_________________________________________________

The Only Constant is Heartache and Emptiness

A lot of things change. People say that change is the only constant thing to exist in this world. But others may think differently and perhaps they're not far off from the truth. It's just that more often than not, it is them who are the ones who are the most misunderstood in this world.

Along with change being constant, there is also heartache and sorrow, insanity and hurt, sorrow and deep trenches of darkness. Quite frankly, Dazai thinks the same, and that true happiness would never last, and in happiness's place lies all these things mentioned.

But what if, somehow someone who coincidentally walked into his life and managed to change his perspective. What if you managed to make him see a glimmer of hope shining in the distance of the darkness he resides in? What if you were that glimmer of hope?

He doesn't know yet that he'd kick himself later for believing so.

*********************************************

You both by now were best friends, inseparable. Lying under the stars together was the usual, just like how you both were tonight. Conversation filled with laughter and curiosity about the bright orbs above went back and forth between Dazai and you.

A meaningful silence now filled the air as you lay side by side on the rooftop. The brunette turned his head to the side to look at you. You were so...ah how could he express what he felt? Mesmerizing? Beautiful? ...Warm?

Perhaps it was all of those things. He felt strange, you made him feel all warm and fuzzy. Sure it felt strange but he wasn't complaining. You realized he was looking at you and so you turned your head to meet his gaze. He smiled, genuinely.

Maybe, finally he'd be able to express to you the more...warmer side of his heart to you. All this time you've been his confidant as he expressed to you the dark and icy cold parts of his mind, the things that would drive him insane, he let you see the scars caused by himself and violence inflicted upon him by others. And you were there to hold him, to relieve him and let him have a taste of what true happiness is.

Whenever he expressed the warmer side of him, the softer more vulnerable one, it'd be genuine. He feels some confidence surge through him now.

Expressions and words of genuine love poured out from his heart through his lips. Oh how he'd think of himself a fool for ever letting himself be this vulnerable. You felt no sense of remorse for what you were doing to this man. You "accepted" his love tonight and honestly you've never seen him this genuinely happy.

*********************************************

He promised to love you like he'd lose you. And he did. He kept his promise and lost you too. Not in the way he thought however.

He had proved to you so many times that his love for you isn't fake. Dazai doesn't know how to express that warm and happy feeling in his chest bubbling to his throat. Honestly it was bliss. But perhaps he should have reminded himself that if he ever gets too happy, that happiness would soon be lost and everything will become nothing but shattered pieces of glass that he could cut himself on.

You came into his life in the form of karma. You were really going to break him, just as he did to those of his past. How could you hurt him? How could you hurt him after he got a taste of true happiness? How heartless you are.

Trust...yes. That's what it is. He trusts you. Why not use that against him?

Tonight it was just you and Dazai sitting lazily on the couch just enjoying the other's company. Or well at least he enjoyed yours. Perhaps now was the moment to strike, you had been lying patiently watching your prey and now it's time to make your move.

"I'm sorry." you muttered, emptiness visible in your eyes looking straight ahead of you at whatever was on tv.

His eyes widened, he was confused. He quirked up an eyebrow as he turned to look at you. "...sorry for what?" You glanced at him from the side of your eye, "Don't get offended but...I'm gonna be frank. I lied to you, I never really loved you." His brows furrowed and then...his expression became neutral and unreadable.

"You...you lied?..." he got no response for a few seconds. A dark shadow formed over his facial features, covering his eyes. "We just go our separate ways I guess..." you said as you stood up. He lifted his head, following your movement with his eyes. His heart sank.

"Why? Why'd you give me taste of what love really is and then leave me hanging? Why'd you make me trust again?...Why did you make me feel as if I had someone there for me!? ...why abandon me..." You could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke, the last phrase he spoke was only a mutter.

"Why?" you mocked. "Perhaps you deserve it. You actually thought you deserved to be loved and be happy?" you slyly smirked looking at him. He didn't know what to do. Half of him believed everything you said while the other thought you were lying and that there was a whole other reason behind you saying this. Did you truly not love him? If not then what was all that you showed and gave him these past few months?

While thinking all this he didn't even realize you had walked out the door, he only heard it closing behind you. He was left there confused, empty and bereft. All that could be heard was the background noise of the tv. He couldn't even hear himself breathing. The brunette just sat there with his head hung low with an unreadable expression still on his face.

He feels so foolish. How could he have been so vulnerable? He felt so betrayed by both you and himself. How did he let himself again? How did you manage to break down his walls. And here he was proving that his love was genuine while yours wasn't.

All he had for company now was the emptiness surrounding him and making it's way inside him. His heart which started beating again when he met you has now stopped or at least he can't feel it.

"Why? Why'd you give me taste of what love really is and then leave me hanging? Why'd you make me trust again?...Why did you make me feel as if I had someone there for me!? ...why abandon me..."

"Why? Perhaps you deserve it. You actually thought you deserved to be loved and be happy?"

He didn't deserve it did he? He didn't deserve to be happy...to be loved. A soft defeated chuckle left his throat. Dazai sunk back into the couch. "It's always me that pays the cost...I should never trust so easily." he said underneath his breath. "You lied to me, then left with my heart around your chest..." he smiled and got up.

The brunette grabbed the bottle of sake from the table and left the living room. How foolish he had been...and how cruel you were.

[astrologgeek]

⚠️ I do not give any permission to anyone reading this post to re-post my content nor plagiarize it. This content belongs to me and myself only @astrologgeek ⚠️

My ✨astro✨ notes

Part 1.

This is my first post on tumblr, I've been learning astrology for over a year now - and I have finally succeeded and wrote my own personal astrology notes! ⚠️these are my own personal observations and notes, which means that whatever I'm saying here isn't 100% astrology accurate & approved by any professional astrologer⚠️ hope you enjoy I guess <3 (BTW: if anyone wants to repost or anything pls tag me, and don't steal pls!! I've worked so hard on these.)

• Taurus risings have 2 types of luaghter: crying-like laugh because of their 3rd house cancer or a smirky / deep-like laugh because of their capricorn 9th house. As a taurus rising I approve this message.

• speaking of taurus risings: gemini 2nd house ppl may joke a lot about their self worth. They also have a very big vocal range - whether they can sing or not, they can be great at dubbing.

• Neptune in the 2nd house have dreamy voices / amazing singing abilities or they may sound like a someone that does drugs / smoke / just high.

• having your mars in the 10th house can indicate a modeling career, especially if your MC is in good aspects with your ASC.

• virgo 9th house people have the most provocative sense of humor, they are also a "know-it-all". Yet, they are extremely loyal, so passionate and devoted to their duties.

• whichever house your pluto is in explains your deepest fears and where there is true chaos in your life (I'll make a post about it!)

• having your pluto in libra - as pluto being the planet of our generations - means that these people have always tried to fit into norms and into society, to not stand out, to be the most basic they can try. I believe that if they had a catchfraze it would be: "fake it 'till you make it".

• whatever house you have libra in is an area in your life that tries to fit in norms / society / normality (libra 11th house: have friends that are normal & basic / you try to to fit in society to make friends)

• aries rising's facial expressions are IMMACULATE (aries rules the face, so it's fitting that their face and facial expression will be very dominant)

• if your lilith conjuncts your saturn then solving the dark and hidden parts of you will help your career life grow and evolve as well.

• Mars-neptune aspects makes your anger blurry - like you don't know when your angry or how to feel / express your anger. Bonus points if the moon has contact with mars.

• There are 2 houses that rule the feeling of not belonging: the 11th house (not belonging because ur special, unique, weird, not normal) and the 12th house (not belonging because of your lonely energy, your blurry energy that makes you feel drifted from everyone automatically)

• Parent & children 🤝 not understanding each other's generation. Why, you may ask? Most if the time the age gap between children & their parents is 25 - 40 years, now if pluto is changing it's sign every 12 (mostly) - 31 years it means that the gap of the signs is creating a square! Example: gen z (pluto in sag) & boomers and karens (pluto in virgo), yet gen z (pluto in sag) & gen of pluto in leo (our grandparents) are creating a trine aspect (good relationship between generations).

• Capricorn stelliums are the most impatient people ever, time just moves with their own schedule and they are the ones that are always perfectly in time. Why? Saturn, which is ruled by capricorn: is ruling time.

• 12th house placements in general but especially 12th house NN & chiron 10th house people have a hero complex, that we must help everyone and save everyone. It's because the 12th house is about selflessness and empathy.

• Sagittarius rising feel so intimate and private, like no one really knows them - because of their 12th house scorpio, which makes their intimate side hidden, and makes them a mystery.

• Your 7th house sign is also the sign you have celebrity-crushes & obsessions on.

• You can know leo's even without them having a sun, moon or rising in leo. They are just SO noticeable! Their energy is just IMMACULATE

• I think that 12th house people are very intersted in prisons, mental hospitals, illusions and parties actually! Now all of them are understood because of our natural will to search for the unkown and the mystery and the unrealistic stuff in our lives, stuff that makes your soul change.

But why parties? Parties may be a place filled with people and noise which 12th house ppl won't like but the thing is parties are a fun illusion, with the lights changing all the time and the music that makes our body adapt to an entirely different environment because of it - it makes u very much aware of everything within the noise and loudness and madness.

• Talking about parties and 12th house people - I have noticed that they have 2 options of how they act:

1. They sit in the corner and analyze literally anything or just drown in their own thoughts or distract themselves from "all of the eyes looking at them".

2. They try to dance and get involve in the party but they're or getting to carried away and then feel embarrassed af and isolate themselves or immediately regrets it and goes to isolate themselves.

• 10th house transits for ppl who haven't graduated high school / university yet will be manifesting in their school life because it's where you're "supposed" to find your career path.

• In my opinion, the co-ruler of fun (which is ruled by leo) is sagittarius. Why? Leo rules entertainment and sagittarius is the ruler of jupiter, which resembles happiness, optimism (, expansion, growth) which is like the soul purpose of fun and entertainment.

• Even tho communication and the social media are a mercury - thing, I actually think that specific parts have 2 or even 3 rulers. For example: articles are ruled by gemini, virgo and aquarius (gemini to represent the creativeness and flowing speech in the article (also gossip if included), virgo to represent the order and wording of the article and how it's represented and brought to the readers and aquarius is for the fact that articles always talk about new, innovative or unusual things that are happening currently [little bit of cap right here lol] in the world, which also bring awareness (def an aqua theme).

• As the 8th house representing secrets, intimacy and shared resources - it must mean that people with this stellium or placements LOVE gossip. gossip is the combination of shared resources (media - which related to my last note - so gossip pages are gemini scorpio thing), intimacy and secrets.

• I have a theory - vehicles, as all materials and machines - are ruled by earth signs, so here are each vehicles rulers in my opinion:

virgo rules the air-vehicles (plains, helicopters etc.) Because that's a mutable sign that's adaptable of change the most out of every earth sign, and because the sky is so unpredictable and there's infinite courses of ways to reach ur destination - virgo fits the most to it.

capricorn rules the sea-vehicles (ships, boats, submarines etc.) Because that's a cardinal sign, an initiator that doesn't wait for things to happen, but makes sure every sudden change has a stable solution, also the sea is such an exotic place - fitting for a Capricorn's rich taste in views and life. Other than that, water may be unpredictable as well, but less than the open air and sky. Capricorns are the sea goats for a reason ;)

And last but not least - taurus rules the earth-vehicles. As The most stable, grounded, stubborn & down to earth sign it's kind of fitting for the vehicles that moves through the earth to have taurus as it's ruler. As cars, motorcycles etc. Have roads, so does taurians have their own, only path. They depend on the only thing they trust and any sudden change will make chaos. It's also the most comfortable - the thing taurians are craving for most.

I HOPE U ENJOYED my astro-notes :) I'll def try to keep them coming lmao if y'all would want to. Hope y'all Have a nice day 💕

[robinrunsfiction]

-inhuman noise- you're one of my fave MCR writers; your Basement!Gee makes me squeal and flail happily. SO I kinda have a request? (Actually I have about a million requests but I'll try not to spam you.) Like, the (female) reader and Gerard are best friends, have been for awhile. Perhaps it's just after finals (or during the winter holidays) and they're hanging out in her dorm and maybe he finds her 'toy' stash? idk, confident!reader and shy!Gee are my jam. IDK BUT ILY MUCHLY

Learning Curve

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: Mature (smut) Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~1,350 Author’s Note: Love a college AU! This was a fun request, thank you!

“Isn’t it kinda weird that we pack up our whole lives to live in these tiny, shitty dorms for like four months, and then we pack everything back up just to go home for another month, just to then bring it all back for another four months!” you practically shouted as you paced your room.

“You really hate packing huh?” Gerard laughed from where he was sitting on your bed.

“Obviously!” You said throwing your hands in the air before bursting out laughing. “I just don’t know what I can’t live without for the next month or so. Obviously my computer, art supplies, and some clothes. But I do have clothes at home, and hygiene stuff,” you thought out loud.

“You’re still gonna come up to my place for New Year’s Eve right?”

“Oh definitely! That means I’ll have to bring something I’d wear to a party.”

“I mean, I dunno if we’ll go out to a party,” Gerard replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well you know I’m always ok with hanging out too,” you smiled. Really all you cared about was the thought of kissing him at midnight, if you were lucky.

“Do you still have my Smashing Pumpkins hoodie?” Gerard asked as you folded up clothes and stuffed them in your duffel bag.

“I may have already packed it,” you giggled.

“Hey (YN), can you come here a second?” The girl across the hall called to you. She had a date that night and had been asking your opinion on what to wear all afternoon.

“Yea just a second! Gee, if you want the sweatshirt back, it’s in the bag. I was gonna take it home and wash it, but,” you shrugged before heading across the hall.

After confirming with your neighbor that she looked smokin hot, you headed back to your room. When you walked in, Gerard was kneeling in front of your duffel bag. In his hands was a smaller bag that you stashed your toys. It was open, and his cheeks were burning red.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what I had grabbed, and I’m ugh” he groaned dropping the bag back into your duffel and getting up.

“Gee, it’s ok,” you smiled, putting your hands on his chest to stop him from rushing out. “I mean, they’re just sex toys. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“How do they,” he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “I mean… what all do you...”

“Do… you wanna check it out?” You asked hesitantly.

Gerard ran his hand through his hair nervously and shrugged before eventually nodding.

A smile crept across your face. Minutes before you were hoping you were gonna get to kiss Gerard in a few weeks. Now you were about to fool around with him? This was a dream come true. “Ok,” you nodded. “Umm, don’t think I’m like… busting all of this out every weekend or whatever,” you laughed.

“(YN), we usually hang out most weekends,” Gerard replied. “I think I’d notice.”

You laughed. “Ok fine, yes but umm, come on,” you said picking up the bag, and taking his hand, leading him over to your bed. “So I have some restraints and a blindfold. Those haven’t seen any action in a long time,” you said in a disappointed tone. “And umm, my vibrator, and some… other things, but maybe save those for another time.”

Gerard’s eyes were as big as the moon when you looked up at him. “How’d you know you liked all that stuff?”

“By not being afraid to try stuff,” you shrugged. “Practice makes perfect and all that.”

Gerard nodded again. “I’ve only done like… basic, vanilla stuff.”

“Do you wanna try something new?”

“Yea! Yea, I mean if you want?”

You nodded this time. “I’ve always kinda wanted to kiss you Gee. Anything more, well, that’s just icing on the cake.”

Gerard bit his lip as he tried to keep from smiling too big. You both leaned in and your lips met chastely at first until you ran your hands through his hair, giving a little tug, and he responded with a moan. You smirked to yourself as you realized how much fun you were about to have with him.

You climbed into his lap, pushing him down onto the mattress as his hands slid under the hem of your shirt. You let your hips grind down against his as your tongues moved together. You broke the kiss long enough to pull Gerard’s shirt off and grabbed the wrist restraints from your bag. You could feel how hard Gerard was getting underneath you as you got them set up around the headboard of your shitty dorm bed. 

“Hands please,” you said and Gerard complied. You secured his hands above his head, and bit your lip at the sight. “We probably won’t need it, but safeword?”

“Pomegranate?”

“Sounds good,” you nodded in agreement. You pulled the blindfold over his eyes before shifting down his body to undo his belt and pull down his jeans. You palmed him over his boxers, and he let out another moan.

You pulled his boxers down and then took him in your mouth. He let out another delicious moan as you started to bob your head, one hand working what you couldn't take in, the other scratching at his pale thigh. Gerard's moans and gasps had to be the best thing you'd ever heard. 

"(YN), I'm close," he warned and you pulled off.

"What do you want Gee?" You asked innocently. 

"You."

"To do what?"

"Ride me."

"Perfect," you replied. You grabbed a condom out of the bag, sliding it on him. "Ready?"

"Yea," he replied, almost whimpering.

You took off your clothes before climbing back over him. You lowered yourself slowly over him. His lips parted in ecstasy and you wished you hadn't put the blindfold on him so you could watch his whole face.

"Oh my god," you gasped at how he filled you. When you started to move on him, you watched as he tugged against the restraints, wishing he could touch you.

"I'm, I'm not gonna last," he moaned. "I'm close."

"Come for me, Gee," you gasped. With a moan you felt him coming undone beneath you. The sight was more than you ever could have hoped for.

You stopped moving after a moment and pushed the blindfold off and you couldn't help but giggle at how blissed out Gerard looked.

“Sorry that was so quick, I just, it was just so fucking good. Like better than I ever dreamed it would be. God, and you’re so beautiful”

“It’s fine, I… wait, you’ve thought about this before?!”

“How could I not (YN), you’re like everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl.”

You grinned and leaned in and kissed him hard again. “If you wanted to, you could take care of me another way,” you suggested when you pulled back.

“Yea, but you’ll have to let me go first,” he replied with a laugh.

“Right,” you laughed before releasing the restraints around his wrists. You rolled off of him as he took a moment to clean himself up.

When he turned his attention back to you, it was more than you expected it. It felt like he was practically worshipping your body. He kissed you passionately, and then made his way down to your neck, chest, down to your thighs. The kisses and attention he paid to each touch was deliberate and tender. As he made his way between your legs, you were caught off guard at just how good he was. Your back arched off the mattress as you grasped at his hair, moaning as he slid first one finger, then another inside you. It wasn’t much longer you were coming undone yourself.

“Well this has certainly been more fun than packing,” you laughed once you had calmed down.

“Can… we maybe not have this be a one time thing?” Gerard asked shyly.

“I would love that,” you grinned. “And I think we definitely should stay in for New Years.”

[17caratssi]

Wonwoo! Will you stay

Jeon Wonwoo! A short series pt one | two | three | four After the rejection, Wonwoo finds your persistence cumbersome. Surprisingly, the quarrel results in you getting new friends.

Our current parents are not the ones who really had you. In actuality, you were adopted to a loving couple that has had no child for 7 years. Your biological parents were too poor to raise another child, and they chose to put you into adoption when you were only 5 months.

When the couples saw you in the centre, they immediately fell in love with you and agreed to take you as their child. You had your name registered under your father's last name and basically became the daughter of their family.

It was illegal at that time, but your parents were desperate to have a child.

It didn't shock you the first time you were disclosed to this information. You don't look like your mother or father, and the brats at school keep suggesting that you're adopted. Your parents then decided to tell you despite your young age.

"You are our daughter. No matter what others say, we love you with our full hearts. Don't forget that, darling," was what your mother told you 12 years ago.

You know they are the best family you could ever have, and they always do. Occasionally, you would thank them. Your mother was never fond of you thanking them, and your dad doesn't have the heart to scold you for the same reason.

He hates it too, but you want them to know that you're very grateful to them.

Your father turns to look at you and stroke your head tenderly. "Where can I find the best daughter like this in this world?"

"You can't anymore. The world only has one best daughter, and that's me~."

"You're super right!" he pinches your nose playfully and has you giggle. "Let's go home. Mommy said she has something for you,"

The next day, you walk to your seat and sit quietly. You feel quite tired from the lacking of sleep. Your friend from America called you last night, and it continued until 3 in the morning. You were too guilty to tell her that you have school in the morning and have to sleep.

In the end, you only got 3 hours of sleep before getting ready for school.

You rest your head on the table and shut your eyes. The students are not making any noises, and you quickly fall asleep.

Wonwoo comes in when you already wake up. He is pretty late as compared to others.

You greet him with a good morning and directly ask. "Your house isn't that far. Why are you late?"

Wonwoo pulls his chair and sits. He's quiet on usual, so you don't know if he's normal or moody.

"Wonwoo, what do you think they have for lunch?"

"Wonwoo, can you teach me Physics? I'm most terrible at it.."

"Wonwoo, what club are you planning to join? Let me join you, OK?"

"Wonwoo, what did you say?" you ask again. You have lost count of how many times to call his name. Wonwoo... Wonwoo... It just rolls off the tongue.

Wonwoo raises his head and faces you. He opens his thin lips and repeats his words.

"You're. So. Freaking. Annoying," he utters word by word as if tearing your heart pieces by pieces. It sends you into speechless mode.

Though he tries to speak through his teeth, some students can still hear him. The girls in front of you are flabbergasted by the vulgar word Wonwoo used.

Never have they ever assumed Wonwoo could be crude to a girl. They study your face, but you're smiling.

"I thought I made it clear yesterday that I'm not at all interested in you. I find you annoying since the first time we meet. You're just a stuck-up rich kid that has no shame," Wonwoo canes his chin with his palm and continues.

"Just look at you. Which part of you is charming? I'll tell you this. Maybe you can get the white boys to line up within a snap of a finger, but I'm not like them. I hate all the girls most when they're rich and think they're superior to others. I don't have to clarify with you which category you're in, right?"

When you and the girls think he's done, you all are wrong.

"I think I should be more clear with you-"

"Enough." the girl with shorter hair stands up and kicks his table. "You could've just rejected her nicely, but you prefer being an asshole, don't you?" she says. Her eyes are burning with rage as he stares at Wonwoo, and they only calm after her seatmate pulls her arm.

"Yeah, Somi's right. I'll talk to the teacher about this, Y/N. We'll have you swap seats with some boy," you read her nametag- Umji, and you're about to say something when Wonwoo interferes.

What he has to say is just him admitting that he agrees with Umji. "Tell everything to the classroom teacher. I can't be bothered sitting next to someone's so annoying,"

"Stop it now, will you?" Somi flares again, and Wonwoo resumes his previous business.

Umji and Somi really keep their word and tell the homeroom teacher the morning incident. The arrangement changes, and you sit with a girl in the second row.

Since then, it's quite difficult to peek at Wonwoo without being noticed.

Every day after school ends, Wonwoo flees before you catch up to him. You want to apologize to him, but the whole week has passed. In the meantime, you make friends with Somi and Umji. The depressing, lonely days become less severe with them.

During the recess, the three of you go to the field and settle on a metal bench. Somi's boyfriend is a basketball player, so she always watches over him at the basketball court.

"Why are your face so red, Y/N?" Umji cups your cheeks and jiggles them. "Are you sick?"

You shake your head from side to side and breathes out loudly. You've been holding to ask them about Wonwoo, and now's the time!

"I want to ask something, but don't get mad. How's Wonwoo's doing?" you literally rap.

"Slow down, Y/N! I don't get you-" Umji holds your shoulder and soothes your nervous heart, but Somi is quick-witted. She reiterates to Umji and then glances at you.

"What's so nice about that a-hole? You still think about him?"

Umji doesn't deny that, but she's curious about Wonwoo. "I don't know. Is it me, or Wonwoo appears to be quieter after you change seat,"

"It's good, though. I hate it when he opens his filthy mouth. I can't forget what he said to Y/N!" you keep silent when Somi makes a comment.

"Maybe he cares about me after all?" you say, unabashed.

Somi frowns and leans forward. "Have you lost your mind, Y/N?"

You shake your head rapidly. "To be honest, I don't feel angry at him for saying that to me. I was wrong in the first place, so he has all the right to snap at me," you sip the grape juice.

Somi and Umji are in disbelief, and it entertains you.

"I don't know if this is true love or you're too naive,"

Umji chooses, "True love, it is," which sounds extremely unpleasant to Somi. She turns away and fakes a gag. "Blergh! Don't you dare encourage her, Umji,"

"Let's go to class," Somi says after regaining her composure. You've been straining the urge to pee since the break started; therefore, you excuse yourself to the toilet, and the two go back to the class without you. On the way, you accidentally bump into your seatmate, Ahin, in the toilet.

She's with her friends, talking about someone.

As you enter a cubicle, you hear a familiar name being mentioned by a girl.

"Wonwoo..." following after is barely audible, "...bullied,"

.

Wonwoo packs his things up and is ready to leave. He hangs the strap on his shoulder, crossing his torso and kicks the chair. The others who are aware of his precedented action make way for him.

You see him and quickly follow after. Close.. very close, and you grab by his bag.

"You're so fast!" you pant.

"Let go,"

"No! Are you getting in or not?" Not responding to you, you pull him by force into the elevator. Good thing; there's no one else besides you two.

You don't waste a second as you make a quick X-ray on him.

"No bruise, no cuts? Are you really being bullied?" you are still gripping his hands while asking him.

Not liking the skin contact, Wonwoo twists your limbs, dominates your wrists and rebukes. "I'll not repeat it. Get your hands off me!"

"I won't do so until you tell me," You undo the action and hold his again. "Are you being bullied, or you're the bully?"

The elevator opens, and Wonwoo escapes. You're too weak to hold against him, but he was just being kind as to not hurt you.

Since you can't do that again, you just chase after him a bit before jumping on his back. You adjust his bag and cling tightly to his neck.

"What are you doing? People are watching-"

"You don't like the attention, right? You might as well answer me!'

Wonwoo stops in his track. It's dangerous to move since you're not stable.

He exhales.

"The latter. Satisfied?"

"You're the bully?" you stretch your head to look at him. You did not expect that answer from him and squeal nonetheless.

"Thank god! I thought you're being bullied 'cuz if that's the case, I don't know what I'd do,"

What was that?.. Wonwoo wonders how could someone be happy when they're just met with a bully.

"Aren't you a fool?" he struggles to stand straight as you shift your weight to the side. "Get down now,"

"Oh," You climb down and instantly admire him again. "You're so cool!" with your clapping hands, you quick to remind him. "Don't let anyone bully you, alright?"

"My dad's here. Bye, Wonwoo!"

Wonwoo can't read you. He looks up to the sky and ponders. "Why would I listen to just anyone..."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sorry for the short chapter. The next ones are much longer, at least to me lol (¯▿¯)

If you like this story, you might as well check out the others here !

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 10 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Candle Lights

Keanu is driving back home after your third antenatal class. You enjoy them, but most of the things they say you already know. But it's not their fault you and Keanu do a lot of reading and research, and your doctors keep you updated. But you want to keep going.

“I'm thinking about a cesarian.” You tell Keanu, both hands cupping your bump.

“What?” He glances at you, and his face makes you giggle. “You have to be kidding me.”

“Why?” You ask, stretching your arm to touch the back of his neck.

“Because labor is something natural. Your body knows what to do.”

“Yeah, it just hurts like a bitch.” You snap back, playing with his hair.

“I know.” He sighs. “It's your call. You're the one delivering the baby.”

“I'm not sure yet. But we still have time.” You're currently in the middle of week 18. You feel more comfortable, and you have more energy now. The bump already shows depending on what you wear, but there's still a long way to go. “And we need to talk names, by the way.”

“I thought we decided on Clarissa or Henry.”

“Yeah, but we gotta be one hundred percent sure. Are you one hundred percent sure?”

“Now that you're talking about it, no.” Keanu giggles, a hand coming to lay on your thigh. “What were the other options?”

“Sophie, Nicole, Ethan, and Liam.” You recite them, looking at the landscape outside your window.

“They're all great. But... Liam. I like Liam. Or Sophie.” He takes a turn left, entering the condo.

“I like them too.” It's always like this. Whenever you bring this up, you just can't decide. “Maybe it'll get easier once we know the sex. Because we're clueless so far.”

“Do you want one of those parties where the sex is revealed?”

“No. It's not like I'd know the guests so...” Pushing this thought back before it starts bothering you, you sigh. “Let's just keep it between us. The rest of the world will find out eventually, but let it happen when it happens.”

“Alright.” As he slows down and stops to wait for the garage door to open, you see Mrs. Jackson walking to her front door. She spots you and waves. You immediately remember the amazing brownies she makes, and you suddenly need it.

“I'll go say hi.” You tell Keanu before leaning for a kiss and stepping out of the car.

Mrs. Jackson is a kind old lady who lives with her husband in the house on the left. When she sees you coming her way she stops, smiling. “Hello, (Y/N). Good morning.” Her long white hair is being blown by the wind, and she keeps it off her face with a hand.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jackson. How are you today?” Smiling, you hug her.

“You can call me Anne, child, it's alright.” She immediately touches your belly. “And how is this tiny little human? Are you eating well, honey? Exercising?” She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head at your house. “Is your husband taking good care of you?”

“Yes, yes, and yes.” Giggling, and blushing a little, you nod. “I have weekly appointments with my nutritionist, Keanu and I take a walk every morning around the neighborhood and he's being absolutely amazing.” You say with a sigh, your heart beating a little faster just at the mention of him.

“Are you falling for him?” With both hands on her hip, Mrs. Jackson inquires, a funny expression on her face. She knows about the accident since she has become a friend of yours.

“I am.” You mutter, biting your lip.

“That's true, genuine love, sweetie. Even after forgetting him, you're falling for him all over again.” She has a teasing look on her face that makes you blush even more.

“Yeah, I guess you can say that. In the beginning, I really thought we'd end up divorced.”

“Honey, you don't know the way Keanu looks at you.” She shakes her head no, taking your arms and pulling you to a seat on the steps that lead to her porch. “When you came for dinner earlier this week, I could see it clearly. He looks at you like you're his whole world.” Running a hand through your hair, you look down. “That man loves you with all his heart, I have no doubt.” She puts an arm around your shoulders.

“Yeah...” You mutter, a low chuckle leaving your lips. “Oh, sorry for yesterday's noise. We're changing a few things in the house for the baby and also working on the decoration. Since we just moved and everything is happening at the same time...”

Anne furrows her eyebrows a little, tilting her head to the side. “Honey, Keanu has been living here for a little more than a year before you came. It was a surprise to me as it was for everyone to find he was married.”

Mimicking her expression, you start thinking, counting. Keanu said you came here only a few weeks before the accident. “Well... We were keeping it a secret. He's a public figure so the goal was to keep the marriage private for as long as we could. But the accident happened.” The words come out slow, as you try to understand what she means by that. A year... It can't be.

“I don't blame you for doing that.” Squeezing your shoulders a little, she smiles. “People can be very intrusive with celebrities.”

“Keanu's fans are great. We bumped into some on our way to the Walmart a while ago. And Ke was kind, as always.”

“That man is a rarity.”

“He is.” Smiling, you look at her, remembering about your current craving. “Oh, do you think you can make some of those chocolate brownies?” You ask, pouting a little. “I hate to give you trouble but I really want them.”

“Don't worry, child.” Anne giggles, taking your hand in hers. “I'm retired for way too many years and I enjoy having something to do.”

“Thank you!” Pulling her into a hug, you place a kiss on her cheek. “I gotta go now.” Pushing yourself up, you jump to the sidewalk. “Important talking about this little one's name.”

“Won't you tell me the options?”

“Nope!” Winking at her, you start walking backward. “It's going to be a surprise.” With another wave, you turn around and head home.

Keanu is in the kitchen, starting with the preparations for dinner. Homemade pizza night, and he's just starting to make the dough. Moving to seat on the kitchen island, you're just about to ask how you can help when what Anne said comes back. That was certainly weird, but you don't think Keanu would lie to you like that. “Ke...” You make a small pause when he looks at you over his shoulder. “Mrs. Jackson said you were living here for like a year. But you told me we came to New York a few weeks before the accident.”

He stops, both his hands dirty with flour. There's something in his face you can't read, as Keanu avoids looking at you. “We bought the house about a year ago. I used to come and spend a day or two because of work, but we only actually moved when you found a good job here.” He speaks slow, only lifting his eyes when he's done speaking. You work with social services, and he said that your job is secure for when you're able to go back.

“Got it.” You mutter, furrowing your eyebrows a little. “Are you alright?” Getting up, you walk over him. Once you're close, he has no choice but stares into your eyes. Wrapping your arms around his midsection, you tiptoe to kiss him.

“I'm great.” When you step away, Keanu touches your nose in a quick motion, getting it dirt with flour.

“I can't believe you did that.” You giggle, stretching your arm to shove your fingers inside the bowl before showing them to your husband. “If you don't apologize, sir, I'll paint all this pretty face of yours.”

“Is it a threat?” Keanu inquires, raising an eyebrow.

“It's a promise.”

“Alright then.” He chuckles before cupping your face with both hands, getting your cheeks and jaw covered in flour.

“You're playing with fire!” You shout, running your fingers through your face before reaching for the bowl and taking a handful of flour that you succeed to half throw it at him, with half of it falling on the sink. He holds your dirty hand, some parts of his hair all white. “You're messing with the wrong pregnant lady, babe.”

“I surrender.” He says in between giggles, hands raised. “I'm completely at your mercy.”

Squinting your eyes at him, you only grunt before washing your hands. “Let me help you.” You say as you grab the dishcloth, damping it before starting to clean Keanu's face.

“No. Let me do this for you. Just sit there looking beautiful.” Once you're done with his face, you clean yourself the best you can.

“Only if I get to see you around the kitchen looking handsome.” Sassing back, you leave the dishcloth on the sink and head back to your place at the kitchen island. You love helping him, but you decided to let him do his thing this time.

By nightfall, the pizzas are in the oven. All three of them, despite knowing you won't eat that much. But one is for Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, and the other two will probably cover up all meals for a while. That if Keanu doesn't bug you with eating super healthy on every single meal. The brownies arrive too, and you thank Anne a lot as you bite one of them.

The only thing to ruin the night, well, that got close to, was that the sudden violent wind caused a blackout. You were eating at the kitchen table when it happened, and Keanu left to check if there was anything he could do. There isn't, but he did find some candles and the pizza night became a lot more romantic instantly.

Right now, already satisfied after two slices only, you admire his face in the different lighting, his hand holding yours over the table.

“We should go out. Like a date.” He suggests, and it makes your smile grow wider. “If that's alright with you.”

“Of course it is. We're married.” Shrugging your shoulders, you notice the subtle change on his face. You never get it, it's a mystery. “Ke, what's wrong?” It's not the first time it happens, but even though you're getting to know him, learning to read his expressions, this one is still difficult.

“Nothing, beautiful. It's nothing.” He assures you in a low voice. “Do you wanna head upstairs? A shower lit by candles must be quite an adventure.”

He always does that. He says it's nothing and changes the subject... But you guess it's alright. Maybe Keanu remembers the accident. The wife he lost that day. Or maybe something you shared before that's completely gone for you. “Great.”

“You can go first. I'll clean this up.”

“Leave the dishes to me. I can do them tomorrow.” You say as you walk past him, a hand on his shoulder. “You already made dinner for us.”

“Alright.” He agrees and you smile before going upstairs.

Showering with nothing but candles to light up the bathroom is weird, and you almost slipped. And that you'll never tell Keanu or else who knows what he'll do. But it was different. Once you're done, you leave the bathroom loosening the bun you had your hair in, letting it down. “Your turn with the medieval style shower.”

“I didn't know they had bathrooms like this back then.” Keanu snaps at you, smirking.

“You couldn't just go with it, could you?” Rolling your eyes, you walk over the slide glass door that leads to the balcony, just to watch as the wind still rushes through.

“Absolutely not.” It's the last thing you hear before the door closes.

With your eyes on the street down there, you hope this wind won't bring anyone trouble by tomorrow. At least the news said the weather will get better in a couple of days.

After some minutes watching the threes bending under the weight of the wind, you walk back to the bed, sitting on the edge. This place is feeling more like home as the days go by, and you're falling back into the life you once had. And it's good. Despite all the medicine you still take, the endless appointments, and a very, very overprotective husband, everything is good. More than that, actually. It does bring you relief to know you were this happy before. That you weren't alone, that you somehow managed to find someone so amazing. You know it was probably difficult in the beginning, with him being a public figure, and so many years older, but look where you are now. It was worth it. It ended up in the best way possible. And you couldn't ask for anything else.

“Lost in thoughts?” His voice startles you, as he comes from the bathroom.

“A little.” Getting on your knees on the bed, you cross it until you're face to face with him. Well, he's still taller, but you don't mind. You like it a lot, actually. Smiling you wrap your arms around his neck. “But they were good thoughts.”

“That's good to know.” He whispers, and you can't resist the proximity, so you just kiss him.

It was supposed to be just a quick thing, soft and sweet, but it soon becomes too needy. You shouldn't be this needy, and you don't know where it comes from. But it doesn't take much until you're awkwardly wrapping your legs around his waist, but the sudden change of balance makes you fall back on the bed, giggling through the kiss. But you don't mind. You don't want this to stop.

But you sigh when Keanu pulls away, opening your eyes to look at him, his eyes barely lit by the two candles, one on each nightstand. “What?” You ask, your voice a little weak, you're not sure why.

“If we keep this going...” His voice fades, and you feel when he removes some of his weight from you. He wasn't crushing you, but you were feeling all of his body. “...I don't think we'll be interrupted this time.”

You get what he means. There won't be calls this time, nothing too put a stop to whatever is going to happen. But you don't care. He's your husband, and you're falling for him. You want this. “I don't want it to be interrupted, Ke.” You tell him, thanking the darkness because you're sure you never blushed this much.

“Are you sure you want this?” A thunder almost clouds his voice, but you manage to hear it.

It's kind that he still wants to know how you feel. Keanu doesn't push you, he never has. It suddenly snaps that you love him, that this is right. “I'm sure.” You whisper back, eyes closing again when Keanu leans in for another kiss.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[vanillann]

from stars to the balcony (b.b)

a/n: this is based off the prompt “Either Bucky or Reader are feeling down (in any way, sad, angry, angsty, whatever), there is a power blackout and the other one notices that now you can see the stars, fluff” by @emmabarnes !

word count: 2.3k

bucky barnes masterlist

I could feel my legs burn from pacing the length of my room, my finger toying with the sleeve of my long sleeve. The tea I had made earlier sat on the table but I had long forgotten about it, the conversation from the kitchen was replying too fast.

I was fired, I didn’t have a job. I had bills to pay but no income for the moment. It was because of downsizing, which meant I could get unemployment, but still. I had been working at this job since I was fresh out of college and now I was left to rot in my own self pity.

I pulled my shirt closer to my skin, hoping it would absorb into my skin. As soon as I got the call I turned the heat down, hoping it would save some money. I rubbed my hand up and down my face, trying to think something over in my head but I was too stuck.

The busy street of Brooklyn was calmer than normal, something I was thankful for. I didn’t want to listen to stranger arguments or drunk girl giggles tonight, I didn’t want to even hear my own thoughts. I picked up the tea cup, walking back over the microwave and placing it in the center. I punched in the numbers, turning to lean on. my counter as I rocked on my heels.

I wanted to scream, but I didn’t need a noise complaint either and considering the man next door always got home late, I had only seen his face and I recognized his face immediately but I said nothing, it wasn’t my business.

Suddenly the calming sound of my microwave had stopped, the little lamp in the corner of the was out and I already knew what had happened, This is why this place had 3 stars. I pulled at the shirt to cover my hands, hoping that would change something but I could already fill the cold air rush over my cheeks.

I turned to open the microwave, smiling, then I noticed the tea had a light smoke falling out the top, dancing in the pitch back air with a little heat rushing to my face. I held it closer, finding one of the many candles I had bought forever ago and lit it in the center of the room.

I would’ve scrolled through my phone for a minute but I didn’t need my data bill going up. The soft blanket my cousin had knitted me was wrapped tightly around me and I could already feel myself warming. I looked around the room, trying to find a book I hadn’t read or something to do when I noticed the clear sky. It made me wonder why the power even went out, my curiosity getting the best of me as I pulled the blanket closer and warmed my hands on the tea. I grabbed the metal handle of the door, opening it just enough to slip through before I rested my hands on the edge. I looked down for a second, the sidewalk only had a few people on it and there were only taxis on the street.

“You aren’t jumping, are ya?”

I turned around swiftly, spotting the silhouette of a person on the balcony beside me. He had a hat pulled down to cover his face, he was wearing a thin long sleeve and pants, definitely not bundled up in the cold breeze of Brooklyn.

I had to remind myself who he was, superheroes don’t freeze in New York city.

“Oh no, no,” I repeated the words quickly, finding I had leaned over slightly to look at the city below better.

“Just checking, wouldn’t want to explain that to the cops.”

I winched when I realized what he meant, they would think he did it.

“Your name is James, right?” I decided having a conversation with the man from next door never hurt anyone, although I noticed the book in his lap and I didn’t think he’d respond, I wouldn’t blame him.

“Yeah, but most people call me worse names.”

I frowned, moving to the corner closer to him so I wouldn’t have to talk as loud. This felt like a lot more intimate conversation.

“I’ve been called so pretty bad things, doesn’t mean they're true.”

He didn’t respond, I suppose he didn’t wanna get into it with a stranger.

“What book ya reading?”

“Hunger something,” he moved it slightly so I could see part of the cover. I smiled when I recognized the gold bird across the dark cover.

“The Hunger Games! I really enjoyed that one,” I turned back to look out at the sky, “I’ve watched the movies one too many times.”

“They made movies?”

I was about to yelp but I managed to hold it back, I had forgotten not everyone was obsessed with these things.

“Yeah, four of ‘em,” I could hear my own voice jump a few octavos, he was probably so annoyed with me.

“Oh,” I saw him nod out the corner and I decided I should shut up and let him continue his reading. It was only fair because if someone had interrupted me I’d probably pull a Katniss and shot them with a bow and arrow.

I let my eyes drift over the closed stores, the light around the area was out and it made me feel better. We weren't the only place without power. The few people on the sidewalk were gone and I watched the last taxi drive off with two giggling girls who were wearing those “I Heart NY” shirts. I always loved counting those as a kid, feeling a strange pride from being from New York.

“You must be from around here.”

There was his voice giving me a heart attack again. If he didn’t keep catching me off guard I would admire how rough and powerful it sounded, like he could tell you to sit and you’d do it like a sad puppy waiting for a treat.

“Yeah, Buffalo but I visited Brooklyn a lot, how’d ya know?” I turned slightly so I could look at him when I spoke, since he seemed to actually want to talk.

“Only people from New York would be amazed by the clear sky, I used to hate how you could never see the stars,” I watched him place the book to the side, standing up and leaning against his own railing. The faint light from the few buildings that had power flashed across his face. He was taller than I remembered and his hair was longer, pulled into a little ponytail at the nape of his neck. I watched him tip his hat up slightly, I could actually see his eyes.

“I didn’t even notice the stars,” I turned back to look at the stars in question, smiling when I could see all the consolation that people would point out in chessy movies.

“I was amazed I could see any, kinda glad the power went out.”

He shrugged so carelessly, something about the demeanor suited him.

“I wish I could say the same,” I whispered against the wind, trying to push the feeling I had earlier from my body completely but I knew that was impossible.

It was silent for a second like we both didn’t want to scare the stars from the sky.

“I never learned any of the consolations.”

I smiled this time when he spoke because he was trying to keep the conversation alive.

“Can’t say I have either,” I turned back to admire him, the way he looked at the stars like it was everything to him.

“That one looks like it would be a Latin name,” he pointed to a cluster of stars like he was pointing at a cloud and telling someone it looked like an elephant when it definitely didn’t. Instead of calling him out I smiled, turning and letting my own eyes ranked over the millions of stars.

“That one looks really important, you know like it comes out every two hundred years,” my finger extended to point at a few stray stars that seemed to shine brighter than the rest, but I doubted that.

“Wonder if you’re right,” I could hear a slight chuckle in his voice as if he knew something I didn’t but it was more than likely he did.

“If I am then you owe me ten bucks,” my own laughs filled in behind his own, the once silent streets were long gone as James pointed to a different star.

“That one looks like you.”

“How can someone look like a star,” I kept laughing, looking at the stars he was talking about.

“I don’t know, but you do.”

I felt his eyes watch me but I didn’t have it in me to look at him, just watching the star that apparently looked like me. A large, duller star sat beside it but as it moved it seemed to grow brighter.

“That one is you then,” I pointed, smiling when I heard him scoff.

“That feels like a burn!”

I laughed, smiling as the breeze spread over my body and I couldn’t help but pull the blanket closer. I wanted to go in, because while it wasn’t much warmer it was something, but picking out stars with this man next door was a lot of fun.

I didn’t expect to enjoy the powerless night so much, but I was suddenly just as happy about it.

“I think that is Sirius, the dog star,” the nerd in me jumped out, laughing when I heard him slam his hand slightly on the rail. I said nothing of the mental on mental sound, I knew some things that happen in pop culture.

“I thought you didn’t know about this stuff!”

“I don’t, I just like Harry Potter,” I shrugged, looking back at his face. The few lights that were once on were off down, the only reason I saw any of his face was street lamps and the moon itself. I enjoyed watching his eyebrows raise, disappearing under the brim of his hat.

“I think Banner mentioned that once,” I don’t think he meant for me to hear and I thought best not to talk about his line of work, I definitely wouldn’t want to have to talk about mine if he asked.

“Probably, book and movie series.”

He nodded, both our eyes filtered back to the night sky that hung above us. It was enchanting to say the least, two kids from the city looking up at the sky like they lived in the country.

“You seemed stressed when you came out, do you feel any better?”

For the first time tonight, he asked a question I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to talk about any of my feelings from inside my small apartment, that was too real for the boy next door. Out here was light and airy, no stuffy matter allowed.

“Yeah, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I wasn’t planning on asking, just wanted to make sure you were feeling better.”

Anyone else would have been offended. He wasn't planning to ask but I respected it. He understood not to ruin a good moment like this, not now. Keep it light while it can be, because the second things get heavy the feeling is gone, I needed a light moment for this single second. If he wanted to knock on my door in the morning and ask then, fine, but now wasn’t the time and I was thankful we saw the same thing.

Another breeze brushed over my skin, a chill running up my skin and I frowned when the mug was no longer hot. I heard a pop from behind me and I turned to notice my lamp was back on.

The power was back, which meant the moment was gone.

“Well, power is back,” he awkwardly pointed over his shoulder at the building, his own apartment didn’t have much light but I assumed he was out here before the power went out,

“Yeah, I should probably head in,” I knew it would be warmer, but I felt as if my body was so much calmer out here.

“Yeah.”

We watched each other for a minute, I took my last glance at the boy with the beat up hat and the laugh of a Greek God.

“Night James,” I waved over my shoulder, holding the mug to my chest and grabbing the freezing door handle.

“Night (Y/N).”

I slipped back in the apartment, smiling when the little heat crashed onto my freezing cheeks, the contrast nice for the first few seconds. I set the mug down, blowing out the candle as my apartment now smelt like apple cider, which was just as calming. I missed the moments on the balcony but I was happy for the heat. I moved around my apartment, fixing my alarm clock and resetting a few other things after the power outages. I had just replugged the wifi router when I heard a little knock at my door. I assumed it was the landlord to tell me the power was back, obviously. I slid across the floor, swinging it open as I was prepared to lean on the door frame. I felt myself frown, not out of sadness but confusion as I realized who it was.

“James?”

He pulled his hand out his pocket, holding out ten dollars with a little shrug.

“Some crazy eclipses thing is happening tonight, hasn’t happened in two hunder and nine years.”

I couldn’t stop the large smile that graced my lips as I reached out to pull the ten-dollar from his grip, smiling more when he lingered in the doorway for a second.

“The tea you had looked good,” he rocked back and front of his feet, his eyes downcast to his shoes.

“Like a mug of it?” He looked up, smiling as I opened the door wider from him.

“If you insist.”

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[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

[skullsandwineglasses]

Hi! There is a show: ZYW and some other guy travel for 3 days. From what I've seen, it's his morning routine to warm up his vocal cords Also ZYW is hugging trees and basically most of the time they eat lol Also they talk a lot, so I guess it should be cool to understand. When you have two minutes, could you tell us what this show is about in general? The name on youtube: 《仅三天可见》[第六期] 姜思达 周一围｜一个冠军给我带来了无妄之灾 Perhaps they're visiting some place important to ZYW? Thank you so much for all your help!)

Yeah, so in brief, the show is about the host, Jiang Sida (JSD), who spends 3 days with a celebrity in each episode to try to understand them better. 

ZYW in particular is a celebrity who really interested Jiang Sida because of how quickly ZYW gained popularity after Birth of an Actor, and also because of all of the negative rumours swirling around his personal life. ZYW is often insulted by the media for being 油腻, which means greasy. Greasy is an insult used to describe older, middle-aged men who are sleazy, self-absorbed, and on the heavier or chubbier side, although sometimes this insult can be leveled at younger, in-shape male celebrities too who come off as kind of douchey. 

It’s sad because even though ZYW doesn’t often express it, you can tell that the rumours do get to him. For instance, during the first meal in the show, he wanted to use a toothpick, but he was wary about using it in front of the cameras so he pocketed it away. The host noticed this and sympathized and playfully said, “Ah, too protective of your image. Stop the camera. Let’s go upstairs to the third floor, I understand you.”

The vocal cord warm up (that occurred during the hike before that meal) happened because ZYW asked JSD “you studied production right, not broadcast? If you studied broadcast, this would be a good place to practice your sound”, to which JSD replied, “show me” (or, “give one”). ZYW proceeded to demonstrate a dantian qi exercise. 

In the voiceover during the hike, JSD  said that even though they were friendly, things were still a little awkward and distant between them since they hadn’t gotten to know each other yet. 

On the third floor rooftop, JSD opened up to ZYW about a film he wanted to write about. JSD shared his ideas to ZYW, saying that the film would tell the story of his father who spends a year away at sea fishing. ZYW then shares his feedback, saying that it’s a really meaningful story because it’s about the loneliness of a man out at sea. Basically, this conversation is what finally allowed JSD to connect to ZYW because they were finally talking about deep and thoughtful topics like the art of storytelling and life lessons. ZYW said to JSD, you need to think about what kind of perspective you want to show. Is the story about the son’s feelings about his father’s return, or is the story the father’s story at sea, and the son is just an observer meant as a stand-in for the audience? ZYW then said that he was pleasantly surprised to learn about this side of JSD because he now knows that JSD is able to understand him. He also encourages JSD to keep pursuing his dream of wanting to make this movie. It doesn’t matter whether the end result is good or not, but it’s a joy to be able wake up everyday and pursue your goal. JSD says that he spends everyday thinking about this story he’s creating, because he wants to get to know the story better since it’s still so unfamiliar and foreign to him. 

During the tea segment, JSD asked ZYW if he was bothered by the things the media says about him and he kind of just shrugs it off and says that it grounds him. They talk about how he used to love karaoke (KTV) when he was younger, JSD asked him what his wife likes about him, and ZYW said that you have to ask his wife why. ZYW mentioned how people would call him PUA, or “pick up artist”, and then JSD if those things bothered him. ZYW said that he learned to ignore those things, but they do bother his wife. The tea segment ends with them noting that it looks like it’s about to rain soon, and ZYW says, when it rains, you can choose to stand in the rain, or avoid it and go indoors. 

During the evening meal, ZYW is asked again about how he feels about what people say about him and why he doesn’t address the rumours. ZYW says that it’s pointless because his voice alone isn’t going to make all the rumours stop. JSD says that it could be cathartic to be able to yell back at people, and ZYW laughs and says it’ll only be for a moment’s satisfaction but it won’t change anything. When asked if he is a person who likes to win, ZYW said that he likes to finish things, but does that make him someone who likes to win? He doesn’t compare himself to others, but he just wants to do what’s expected of him. JSD then tells ZYW that the director of the show asked him if he was worried that netizens would accuse him of trying to use this show to try to rescue ZYW’s image (洗白, which means to “wash white”, or clear someone’s name). JSD tells ZYW that his goal is to present celebrities in an honest and genuine manner, and if it just so happens that the celebrity is actually a better person than what netizens thought, then that’s the truth and he’s not fabricating anything. 

The following evening, they have a conversation about happiness. ZYW says that he doesn’t compare between the years in his life or classify certain years or decades as being bad years or good years. He doesn’t wish to forget the bad years. He says, why would you need to forget the bad years?

By the river, ZYW asks JSD if he ever thought about what kind of animal he wanted to be. JSD says that it doesn’t really matter what animal, but if you asked him if he would rather become someone else, he’d say no. ZYW says that not wanting to be another person is a pretty good answer. 

During the final sit-down interview, JSD starts off the conversation by saying that ZYW looks relaxed most of the time, but he’s actually 绷 (”beng”) on the inside, meaning stretched-tight. ZYW asks how so. JSD says that ZYW is constantly noticing things around him, and avoiding things and people and cameras. ZYW says that it’s part of his job to notice more details more than the average person. In terms of avoiding cameras, he’s constantly being scrutinized, there are always cameras around him. Even during this interview, they have to put on a show of being relaxed in casual conversation, even though there’s a whole sea of cameras and people with mics and earpieces around them. So it’s only natural to want to try to find a balance between reel and real life by being a little aversive towards cameras and people’s scrutiny.  

JSD then says that ZYW seems like he has a lot of thoughts that he keeps to himself. JSD says ZYW is 拧巴 (”ning ba”) , which kind of means uncomfortable, awkward, restless, wanting to do something but not doing it, like for example, being uncomfortable with rumours but not addressing them. ZYW says that what’s the point of explaining? How is it meaningful? Will explaining something change you as a person? You are still you whether you choose to explain something you not. Likewise, you are still you despite the rumours. The rumours (no matter how bad they are) don’t change who you are. Only you know who you are.

This really reminds me of what Xiao Qi said in episode 64 of TRP: “If there’s anything that needs to be explained, then no matter how much you try to explain it, it’s never going to be explained away. Let them spread the rumours.”

ZYW explains that there is no way that a single word or statement from him can possibly fend off the tens of thousands of words from netizens, so there is no point. In addition, rumours are only momentary and they ebb and flow. The netizens are always going to look for a new rumour or scandal to talk about anyway, so the uproar about him is only temporary. 

ZYW also says that there will always be rumours. There’s no truth. He will never expect that a single interview can change people’s minds. First of all, the viewers can’t experience the conversation in the same way the he and JSD are currently experiencing the conversation now in this moment. The audience will be watching it through a screen. The audience will only seeing an edited recording of the conversation, but they will never be able to know or understand the “true” nature of the conversation that he and JSD are having right now because the audience isn’t here with them. This is actually some really deep and philosophical insight from ZYW lol. What is real? What is the truth? 

JSD asks ZYW is this means that he’s disappointed and lost faith with the audience. ZYW says no, this is just reality. We can only hope to influence people who are able to influence, like people in our immediate circle, but when it comes to noise or mass opinions, you don’t have control over that. 

JSD then asks about fatherhood. JSD says that most men would talk about how fatherhood has changed them. ZYW says that most of his friends talk about this, but he doesn’t. But if he doesn’t talk about it, does he think about it? ZYW pauses to reflect. In another interview, ZYW noted that all kids have their own life “scripts” that they act out and deal with (this was in response to how he doesn’t seem to be home often to be with his kid). In that interview, he said that that was the way in which he had to grow up, figuring out his own script (and essentially not relying on anyone), so he doesn’t expect it to be any different for his own child. This once again result in the media backlash against him and questioning his role as a father. Which is why when faced with this question from JSD now, ZYW has to pause to think carefully about how to answer. 

JSD asks why can’t ZYW give a straightforward answer for the audience. The audience doesn’t want to hear an answer buried in layers of meaning, but they just want a simple answer to things. ZYW says that sometimes he isn’t completely sure of what the answer to something is, and so he can’t give a straight answer. It would be easy to give the answer that the audience wants, but he needs to be able to give answer that is genuine and resonates with him. 

JSD asks how ZYW would respond if the audience calls him self-absorbed. ZYW turns the question back to JSD and asks him to provide a response for him because he doesn’t know how to. ZYW said that he would just not respond and let it pass. On top of that, ZYW says that he doesn’t think of himself as being self-absorbed at all. He’s actually dissatisfied with himself in a lot of ways, and all he wants is for the audience to not pay attention to him so that he can be peacefully left alone. 

JSD asks if ZYW is he is more afraid of being criticized or being forgotten. ZYW says that being forgotten would mean that there is a problem with his acting skills. In terms of being criticized, it would depend on the criticism. He would mind criticism towards his acting because he would want to improve any problems in craft. However, if it’s personal criticism, then he doesn’t care. 

ZYW says that someone he admires once said, it’s a complicated world out there, so find a comfortable position, change positions, and learn to live with it.

JSD’s second last question to ZYW is whether he’d rather choose a comfortable position/posture or a beautiful position/posture. ZYW said that he would choose a comfortable position. JSD asks if ZYW thinks his current “posture” looks good (i.e., if his current standing and image is favourable). ZYW asks that you’ll have to ask someone else in order to know. 

The last question asked whether ZYW can predict how this interview will be received by audience. ZYW says that they touched upon many deep topics, but it’s hard to say what kind of effect it will have on the audience, or how the audience would choose to interpret it. He’ll welcome thoughtful discussion, but it would regretful if the audience took away very superficial things from the discussion. 

JSD asks if ZYW is happy with the discussion today. ZYW says that if it weren’t for the cameras, they could have gone deeper into some topics, but because there are cameras, he has to have impose boundaries on the things he’s willing to reveal. But he says that he would be interested in having more private conversations with JSD.  

JSD ends the episode saying that ZYW is an old soul who knows himself, knows what he wants, and already has his own “world” (meaning he already has what he needs). 

lol I was at first only going to summarize the first few minutes of the episode, but I ended up watching the whole thing because I was so memorized by ZYW’s insights, so here you go, a scene by scene summary of the episode. 

For those curious, you can watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzt31O7imS4