#and personally I find his explanations pretty obvious after listening to the album

[itsokbbygrl]

x

[onyourzeus]

12:15 am | kyh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: 12:15am pairing: kang younghyun (youngk of day6) & you genre: fluff, small caps words: 2.4k

author’s note: extra fic for tonight, just all around fluffy bf!yonk getting a call from his drunk s/o in the middle of the night. do enjoy.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

younghyun loves the grind. but if there’s anything else that he looks forward to during a hard and long day of working, it’s the feeling of coming home once he’s done. he makes sure to take off his shoes with as less noise as possible, knowing the fact that his roommates slash bandmates are enjoying their sleeping hours of peace and solitude. 

with just a loose shirt and boxers on, he finally feels less restricted and more comfortable in his own skin. the urge to clean himself of sweat, and polluted air that had clung on him with a nice, hot shower is tempting— but the exhaustion in his heavy shoulders and drooping eyelids convince him otherwise. 

he’ll hate himself for dirtying his sheets, but tomorrow is sunday which means it’s time to do his laundry, anyway. 

tossing his used clothes in the hamper, he prepares his body to get swallowed by the softness of his comforter, and the warm void of his thick blankets. of course, before he passes out entirely tonight, he doesn’t forget to send you a text. the one important thing he shouldn’t miss out on. 

really tired. gonna crash in 2 seconds. text you tmr, love you

usually, younghyun would wait until you respond because the many heart emojis that come his way act as his goodnight kiss while the two of you are apart. besides, you normally reply in an instant which is a habit he’s worried about, really, since you need some rest too. 

he tries to fight the sleepiness away from his senses, but the more he sits on his bed, back hunched and ready to collapse, the less energy he has left to wait for your message. he frowns, suddenly wondering about your whereabouts. you always tell him first hand if you’re too busy to check your phone throughout the day, and younghyun appreciates the thoughtfulness. even if he couldn’t reply “okay” right away, the two of you have a shared sense of understanding as to how your kind of long distance relationship works by now. 

sighing, he eventually puts his phone on the bedside table and plops himself in the covers. it feels really, really good to be in his own personal space now, and younghyun thinks he deserves to rest longer than normal tonight; it was a pretty productive day in the studio. he finished another collab with an artist he’s been meaning to contact for months, and he was glad it came to fruition with great success. he also managed to write a few arrangements for the band’s upcoming album, even if the group decided it was too early to work on it yet. 

younghyun believes it’s never too early as long as inspiration is present. if he didn’t so much as write down possible lyrics or harmonies on a piece of paper every day, he’d slowly feel his motivation being sucked out of him. if he was being honest, that was one of his worst fears as an artist, so every day is work for him, it just depends on how much he wants to get done in a day. 

as his thoughts fizzle out in his mind, his consciousness brings him to dreamland until a constant vibrating noise disrupts him from his end table. younghyun is about to pull the sheets over his head, thinking nothing of the sound but an annoying notification from something unimportant— but then he remembers you. 

with his second guess being right, younghyun has a twinge of guilt in his throat for believing you were not worth it to get up from the coziness of his bed. rubbing his eyes to seem more awake, he picks up the call and greet you in a whisper. 

“hi, baby, what’s up?” younghyun says, voice low and hoarse from multiple recordings in the studio. 

“cheese,” you mumble on the other end, voice rather solid and awake which causes younghyun to perk up a bit. 

“what was that?” 

“cheeeeese, brian,” you slur, elongating the repeated word as well as saying it in a higher pitch. immediately, younghyun senses the somewhat incoherent mumble in your nevertheless pretty voice, and judging from the fact you unironically called him by his english name, there was only one explanation: you’re drunk. 

he finds himself smiling as he answers, “are you home, babe?” he wasn’t angry about you drinking, he does remember you telling him a few days ago that you might go out with friends but you weren’t sure when. maybe tonight was the night and you just forgot to remind him; no big deal. 

“i think so?” you hiccup, followed by a soft chuckle. younghyun’s heart soars at the sound, and it pains him at the same time that he couldn’t be there to hold and take care of you. he leans against the headboard, making himself more comfortable as he listens to you ramble on. 

“all i know is that— burp— it was wendy’s birthday… or was it her cousin? cause she was there too, and i never met her before and— oh my god, i don’t even remember her name i’m such a bad new friend— whatever, anyway, it was someone’s celebration and we bar hopped to a lot of places and it became really sweaty and loud and at one point i had a flamingo shot in my hand and and—”

“hold up, flamingo? you mean flaming?” younghyun interjects, chuckling at your jumbled up story. he imagines you shaking your head as you whine at him for interrupting you. “no, nooooo. it was red and fiery and there was a lot of smoke and i’m sure it represented the beautiful, long-legged bird called flemings.”

this time, younghyun couldn’t stop himself from choking out a laugh, and in turn you huff from the other end, and refuse to continue further. 

“i’m sorry, go on. please, i’m interested with what happened after you took this mysterious shot that starts with an f.”

“are you sure you won’t laugh?” he hears you quip in a tiny, slurring voice, and it his chest tightens at the thought of making you go through this drunken state alone. younghyun cards through his hair in frustration towards himself, realizing how much he misses you in the moment. he doesn’t want you to stop talking, god if he can only see your lips move in person—

“i promise, babe. so, what happened next?”

“if you say so,” you mutter indignantly, but proceed with the story even though you’re unsure of where it’s going. “um, actually. that was it. i think i took everyone’s flamingo shots in their hands and next thing i remember, wendy or her cousin or whoever it was tucked me in bed and now i’m in the kitchen eating cheese.” 

the string of words you had uttered made younghyun feel three emotions in succession: one, impressed that you were able to down more than one shot while he’s not there to monitor you; two, relieved that you confirmed your safety inside your apartment; and three, plain confusion as to why you didn’t stay in bed and instead, eating what you say is cheese while on the call with him. 

“can we turn on the videocall?” he asks gently, and you hesitate.

“i don’t look cute right now…”

“you’re always cute. please?” he tries to sound convincing, knowing that you do get insecure when your face is flushed red from the alcohol. even still, he doesn’t tire from complimenting you otherwise. 

“okay,” you relent, and younghyun’s heart skips a beat anticipating the sight of you on his phone. he turns on his camera, and he’s appalled at what he sees: daar under eyes, no make up on, and a face that describes weariness to a T. in this case, it should be him who feels insecure looking the way he is, but he’d take the risk if it meant seeing your face. 

“hello? is this thing on??” after a few seconds of lag, your screen cleared up and younghyun watches you poke the camera repeatedly. “bri, it’s so dark in here am i even alive right now?”

you never fail to lift his mood up during an exhausting day of activities— as your schedules collide against each other, and there would be less time for moments like right now, younghyun only asks for a few texts sent his way as reassurance that you’re still with him. you always comply, and sometimes younghyun doesn’t get to uphold his side of the commitment during the rare days that he just want to shut off the world.

still, he’ll wake up from a text with your name on it, and the hearts he missed the night before. and he feels whole, and ready to take on the world again.

so this time, younghyun wants to make you feel heard— and seen, as these days work seems to occupy more of his time and burden him with the pressure of exceeding his own expectations. you don’t like seeing him worry about how he’s doing in the industry, so younghyun does his best to appear cheerful and curious in front of you— or his phone, at least.

“yes, you’re very much alive right now, babe. are you really eating cheese at this hour?” he shouldn’t have asked. it was obvious the thing in your hand was, in fact, string cheese being eaten in the most ungodly fashion, but it’s you— and younghyun would rather watch you bite into it, cringing inwardly, instead of passing out with another day longing for your presence. 

“let’s eat cheese together,” you suggest, shoving the half-bitten string cheese into the center of the camera as if it was a mic being handed over to younghyun. “do you want to eat cheese with me, bri?” you ask again, tone small but hopeful. you put your hand down, and younghyun finally has a full view of your face. 

you had taken your makeup off, judging from the bare skin and slightly smeared lipstick on the side of your lips. your hair was splayed out down your shoulders, a combination of curly and straight strands framing your beautiful face. he surmises you used a curling iron this morning, imagining the frustration on your facial features as you try to make it work. 

“briannnn, cheese?” 

younghyun focuses on the present, and he notices the glimmer in your eyes amidst the only light coming on your end was his screen’s brightness. he shakes his head slowly which causes you to pout. 

“no thank you, baby, you can have it all.” 

“but i saved some for you, right here. you get the other half. just like you’re my other half. hehe, get it?” 

“yes, baby, that’s very sweet and clever of you.”

“you should hire me as your lyrics… manager. maker? lyrics person? lyricist!” you grin widely after figuring out the right term, and take another bite off the string cheese. 

“i think you’re doing a great job at being my girlfriend, though,” younghyun tells you, and it takes a few seconds for those words to process until he hears the eventual whine, and covering of your face with your free hand. 

“babe.” no response.

“baaabe.” you mumble something he couldn’t hear. younghyun takes in how adorable you are, and doesn’t pester you for a minute. this bothers you, apparently, as you peek through your fingers and catch him doing one of his silly faces that corners you to laugh abruptly. 

“not fair!! you know that works every time,” you whine in defeat, and younghyun can only smile proudly in response. 

“you know,” you start off, and younghyun prepares himself for another stream of consciousness on your end before you continue, “even if we’re far away from each other, and that we can’t eat cheese together, you’re still the best boyfriend in the entire galaxy.” 

if there’s anything else that younghyun loves apart from the feeling of coming home after work, it’s the feeling of being loved by you. 

he waits for you to finish your string cheese, and you argue that you’d like to eat another one. but it was getting late, and younghyun didn’t want to look even more tired on call, so he urges that you two fall asleep while the call goes on. 

as he wiggles back inside the covers, he watches you struggle to get your whole body in the comfort of your blanket. his hand holds on the phone as he readies himself to sleep sideways. 

“stupid blanket,” you mutter in annoyance, deciding to take one leg out of the warm sheets and at last, feel content on your bed.”that’s better,” you sigh, eyes falling asleep before younghyun. 

“comfortable?”

“not really.”

“oh, why not?” younghyun asks. 

“you’re not here beside me.” and your answer breaks his heart. 

younghyun is pretty good at consoling you with his words at times when you need it, but you beat him to it this time. 

“it’s okay though, younghyun, i can get by like this for now. i know—” you yawn in between, “you’re working super hard for the next comeback— actually, you work no matter what project you’re doing, babe. you’re insane, i hope you know that.”

it was younghyun’s turn to blush, and hide his face in the pillow. the drowsiness is making him soft, and weak from denying the truth in your words. he can definitely agree with a lot of people in his life that he needs to take it slow some days. and when it comes from you, he then knows to take that advice seriously. 

“i do know that, baby.” 

“it’s not bad, though!!” you object, zooming in to your eyes as if to let him know you’re saying it as a good thing. younghyun chuckles again, lifting his face up so he can witness your goofy antics once more. 

“i think it’s… really badass. you go younghyun,” you yawn again, dropping the phone as sleep attempts to befall upon you. “sorry, my hand was getting numb.”

“that’s okay, go to sleep now.” 

“no, you.” 

“that’s literally what we’re trying to do, babe.” 

he hears you snicker, and with that he felt it was okay to lay his phone next to him, too. he probably wouldn’t see your face in the morning on the call anymore as his phone wasn’t fully charged at all. however, as he hears you quietly snoring on the other end gives him a sense of security, and the status of his dead phone battery doesn’t matter so much for now. 

“i love you,” he whispers into the night, eyes closing in, smile taking him to dreams where he can hold you tight.

“love you more, younghyun.”

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

If Walls Could Talk lyric analysis

I’ve been fascinated with If Walls Could Talk from the moment I started realizing what the lyrics said. I had to look them up, because it sounded a lot like a song about closeting to me. After reading the lyrics that thought was solidified in my brain. I’ve talked about it with @full-of-lonely-people (aka R) and she agreed with my ideas. Back in July, she actually wrote me an analysis. I read it and agreed with a lot, but somehow forgot about it after that (shame on me). Now that I’m working on an Ashton is not straight masterpost, the song came up again. I decided to write down some of my thoughts, but once I got into a flow it quickly became an analysis that needed to stand on its own. After showing R my analysis she brought the one she made in July back up. After taking a look at it, it quickly became clear to me that we shared a lot of the same thoughts and that we completed each other’s thoughts quit well. So I decided to add her parts as well, because I think it’s good to have multiple voices sharing their voices. That’s all for my intro, time to move on to the song.

First, let’s take a look at the description on the genius website about the meaning of the song:

“If Walls Could Talk” discusses the secrecy and intimacy of a relationship that is best kept private. This song is comparable to other 5SOS songs such as “English Love Affair” and “Greenlight” which also have suggestive lyrics.

“If Walls Could Talk” hints toward the romantic occurrences in the bedroom; the walls between rooms are the only thing to conceal the true events of a shared night, as well as witness them.

 It’s hard to see on the desktop website, but this is not an official description. These are submitted definitions. The only artist commentary the song has on genius is Ashton tweeting it’s one of his favorite songs of the album and everything the band said in the cocktail chats.

At first I figured that the song was probably about Muke. That was the obvious choice, since I already believed they aren’t straight. When I checked the writing credits I was surprised to see that the only 5SOS members credited are Ashton and Calum. Which sorts of excludes the possibility that it’s about Muke, unless Ashton and Calum wrote it about them. Which is not impossible, but it seems unlikely. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe in Cashton as a couple at this moment, so I don’t see this as a song about their relationship. I’m not entirely sure if I think Calum is straight or not. It’s not something I exclude. I just haven’t seen much evidence to back up any side to be fair. So this song could really be about either of their experiences.

In the cocktail chats all 5SOS members speak about the song from a musical point of view, but what stands out is that nobody speaks about the meaning of the song. So we have no official explanation about the song. Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics and how we interpret them.

“Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard” C: The song starts with the mention of secrets. This could be about a relationship that for whatever reason you prefer to keep a secret. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be about a relationship. In the chorus the narrator does say “we’d fall from grace”. But that we could also mean the band, it doesn’t have to be just 2 people.

So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word C: This sounds like a very urgent call for someone else to keep it a secret. It sounds like it’s very important to the narrator to keep the secret. “Don’t say a word.”

R: I think maybe listening to the first lines instead of simply reading them takes away from how assertive they are – some things are meant to be secret almost implies that it's in their nature to be secret, and violating that is far heavier than simply spilling some secret; consequently, if I tell you just keep it, and don't say a word

Yeah, when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get loud C: Doors are closing, now this could be the doors to a bedroom. Loud could be a reference to activities in the bedroom. The doors could also be a reference to a closet. Closeting (for those who might not know) is a term used for hiding the fact that someone is not straight, either forced or by choice. If you look at the next line, loud doesn’t have to be sound or noise. It could also be considered loud in actions. Defying those who may inforce a closet on the narrator, by maybe making some references about not being straight.

'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound C: Bodies can be taken literally as people, but if you look at it from a closeting point of view, bodies can also be skeletons. Having skeletons in your closet is a saying about there being something people don’t know about a person, having secrets perhaps. To quote Wikipedia: “Skeleton in the closet or skeleton in the cupboard is a colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.”

I’d say the information that a 5SOS member is not straight could definitely be considered a skeleton in the closet. It can damage the perception fans have of the band or some of its members. While a lot of fans would probably be supportive if it turns out any of the 5SOS members are not straight, there could also be backlash from some people. The people on their team (management, people at their record label, etc.) could consider it damaging to the 5SOS image to have them open up about their sexuality and therefore force them to hide their sexuality. There’s always a possibility that whoever this is about has chosen to stay closeted voluntarily, but that’s something we can’t really know for certain.

R: On a first read it almost sounds like what is being described is some kind of party – once the doors close, you can turn the music up, and “cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could be a reference to the party goers. But given the context of the song, it seems more appropriate to interpret this in a metaphorical way: “when the doors are all closing” could be a metaphor for privacy – as in, “when every way to access my personal life is blocked”, hence why I find the “all” interesting; it would make less sense if it wasn't a metaphor. “It's bound to get loud” could be a reference to the fact that once you become more secretive, or more private, people tend to talk more, probe more for information. “Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could mean, sticking with the metaphor, a comment on how nowadays people become quite literally obsessed – addicted, you could say – with every bit of information they can get on others; interesting the use of “bodies” to indicate “people” - it almost strips them of their more “human” side. This, coupled with the first two verses, would suggest that it's not merely privacy we are talking about – it's things even deeper than that, not the simple, blanket right to privacy.

Pre-chorus: Oh, not everything is so primitive Oh, but I'm giving in

Primitive means something is in an early level of development or at the beginning of a process. A word related to it would be simple. It sounds like the narrator is either saying it’s not that simple to give up what he has going with someone, so he keeps giving in. Or it could mean that things are getting complicated because there’s pressure to hide to hide the secret, so he’s giving in to those who force him to keep the secret.

Then on to the chorus.

If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling Yeah, we'd fall from grace

C: “If these walls could talk” is a pretty common saying which speaks for itself. If the walls could repeat what happened in a room there could be serious consequences. So if the narrator would be seen with a male partner or heard speaking to someone about their sexuality, this could have consequences for their image/career. They could “fall from grace” as the song describes. An important note to make is that the narrator is saying we would fall from grace. They’re not referencing just themselves. This could mean another person they are seeing. Or maybe even the band, because if one member of the band would come out/get outed that could have consequences for the whole band.

R: This song seems to alternate metaphors to very direct lyrics, such as these: “Not everything is so primitive, but I'm giving in” seems to describe a very specific situation, possibly the one that is meant to be secret, and not to be heard. The idea that “not everything is so primitive” almost suggests the need for a justification: the writer seems to be saying “most things aren't as primal as this, but this one thing is”, and it seems to recall the idea that “if these walls could talk, we'd fall from grace”: the writer might be justifying this that is, in fact, primitive, and that they're giving into it, but it's not everything, but they know that it would be enough to make them “fall from grace”. “Not everything” could be referring to “everything that is behind closed doors”, i.e. everything the writer wants to hide, that is not meant to be heard. “Not everything that I'm hiding is so primitive”. I think it's quite obvious this is referring to sex.

Let’s take a look at the 2nd verse.

I love your hair in your face I wouldn't dare let you down Don't let that glass go to waste Oh, you're a queen but uncrowned

C: This seems to talk about more stereotypical feminine things. Hair in your face reads like long hair, which is often associated with women. Although this could just as much be about a man. Queen is obviously a reference to a woman. One mention of a woman doesn’t just make this a song about a heterosexual relationship. Being closeted means you sexuality is a secret to most people. This means that a closeted songwriter will write songs referencing women even if the song isn’t about a woman.

The exact definition of this part is something I still struggle with a little. It seems to me like it’s appreciating the other person for who they are. An uncrowned king or queen is someone who is good at something, but who hasn’t had any sort of official acknowledgement for it, like a title or a crown. So this could be about keeping a relationship a secret. I want to be with you, but we can’t make it official to the outside world, because it would have consequences.

Uncrowned king/queen: A man or woman who is considered to be the best, the most famous, or the most powerful in a particular area of life, especially when they do not have an official rank or title.

R: The alternating between metaphors and direct lyrics becomes tighter: “I love your hair in your face”/”Don't let that glass go to waste” are very tangible situations; “I wouldn’t dare let you down”/”You're a queen but uncrowned” aren't referring to a specific situation, and are more metaphorical. The fact that this is how they should be paired could be underlined by how they rhyme. “I wouldn't dare let you down” could be a statement for the person “behind the walls” with the writer – so, out of metaphor, also meant to be kept a secret. It could also be a statement for the people on the other side of the wall – let's not forget the writer thinks that “if these walls could talk”, if their secret were to be let out, they “would fall from grace”, but it doesn't seem like the writer himself shares that sentiment: the writer doesn't think that what they're doing behind closed doors, as primitive as it might be, deserves to make them “fall from grace” - furthermore, one could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”. I lean towards this second explanation more because of how almost flippant the position of the verse makes this statement – which, by itself, could be a deep promise; however, once it's thrown in the middle, between “I love your hair in your face” and “Don't let that glass go to waste”, it loses value. Also, the addition of “dare” almost makes it sound like the writer is mocking this promise. “You're a queen, but uncrowned” probably alludes to the fact that whatever is kept secret, behind walls, loses some sort of shallow recognition because it is kept secret. “You are still a queen, but you haven't been crowned, you haven't received public recognition”.

C: I’m writing this after finishing my own analysis. Now that I’m reading R’s analysis there’s one specific thing that stands out to me, that I think is important to point out: “One could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”.” This feels so on brand for Ashton specifically. Just today I listened to him being interviewed for the podcast The Green Room with Neil Griffiths. On there he mentioned how he has trained himself to not see himself as “famous” or a “celebrity”, to keep himself grounded. Reading R’s words on the same day I heard Ashton speak about these things really blew me away. It further settles my belief that we seem to be on the right track with our analysis.

C: The bridge of the song repeats the lyrics of the first verse. Which I don’t think is a common thing in many songs. It seems to repeat, once again, that there is some sort of secret that the narrator is afraid that if it comes out, it could mess up a lot of things. Hammering down that this secret has to stay hidden.

This is our full analysis of If Walls Could Talk, I hope you found our takes interesting. Personally I’m very glad R brought up her theory again, because it fills in my gaps so nicely. If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to send me an ask. Please keep in mind that this is just our personal interpretation, we are not stating this as fact. Lyrics often have a lot of meanings and ours may be part of that or not at all. A big thank you to R for writing and bringing up her analysis, I’m so glad we can share ideas back and forth.

Lyric source: genius

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[lightwoodsmagic]

Hi! So I agree Liam is queer, and the pink🔺in his video compels me not to ignore it. I saw one of your Ziam posts making its rounds after the SIU video, so I thought you were the person to ask. I only joined the fandom after Zayn left, and I’ve always had a hard time finding info on why and how that played out at the time (nobody seems to agree). Could you elaborate (or link to previous posts) on why you think Ziam is still a thing, and how they are telling us? Thanks for your insight so far!

 Hi anon! 

Thank you so much for thinking of me! I’m sorry it’s taken me a little while to answer, but it took me a bit to gather all the info I wanted (while I should’ve been working oop).

Okay, please know that this post is gonna be loooooong, so I’ve popped it under the cut.

You’re right about nobody agreeing on Zayn leaving the band, and it makes sense that people have differing views. It’s such a complicated thing; there was a lot happening at the time. 

I’m going to start by saying there’s a brilliant masterpost about Zayn leaving here. It’s incredibly detailed, talks about pretty much every aspect of it, and there’s so much to look into. It’s also wonderful to demonstrate how much the boys and Zayn still hinted at things and loved each other, like Harry using Zayn’s mic one night, Liam talking about him fondly in interviews, Niall still calling him by his nickname, and Louis wearing his clothes.

It’s a long read, but incredibly worth it, as it this stunting timeline.

Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion, so I’ll just give you mine. I’m gonna keep it (kind of) short though. A lot of what I’m about to say can be found in the masterposts I’ve linked above.

I believe that Zayn leaving was out of his control, and was never completely his decision. I believe that he was set to return, but for some reason, the plan changed. Mind of Mine was apparently written before he left, and while I think he would’ve been working on solo music before he left (and that all of them were to some extent), to tease an album right after the announcement that he left makes no sense. A contract like the one that 1D had/has with Syco would cost an obscene amount of money to get out of, and Zayn’s net worth didn’t change at all. They made it seem so simple in the very few interviews with Zayn afterwards, saying he just called his security, got on a plane, and left. I think Zayn struggled a lot with everything, they all did, but I don’t think he could’ve just left. There were articles put out about his new album that mentioned Simco and everything, but when people pointed out that it didn’t make sense with the narrative that Simon felt ‘betrayed’, the references were removed straight away. 

There’s also a very solid theory that MoM was counted as One Direction’s sixth and final contracted album, and it really stands up. Check it out! 

Look. There’s a lot to unpack with the whole situation, and I’ve hardly touched on it at all, but I really do encourage you to look into it with everything I’ve linked above  💞

Okay, now onto the second part of your ask! 

Ziam. My loooovveesss.  

I’m going to start by saying that there’s a lot of ways that Liam and Zayn have hinted that they’re still together, and honestly? The boys ain’t even subtle about it. I’ll start by talking about heaps of ways they’ve done that since Zayn left!

Alright, let’s start with the fact that they WILL NOT STOP LIKING, REBLOGGING, AND RETWEETING POSTS FROM ZIAM ACCOUNTS. 

(x) (x)

These aren’t subtle Ziam accounts, and it’s not just these examples. This also isn’t just something in the past; that bottom right one references Stack It Up.

They’ve also both reposted fanart from a well known Ziam where each drawing referenced the other one. 

(x)

The Zayn art says ‘Love Payne’ on the beanie. Well then. 

And the Liam one? That he posted on his personal insta? The artist added the ‘love’ tattoo from Zayn’s hand onto Liam’s. It’s obvious, and it’s not like Liam wouldn’t have noticed that suddenly there was a new tattoo added ON HIS OWN HAND. 

Not very subtle, hey.

It’s also not the only shady social media activity related to the boys  👀

There was the time that Liam explained why he’d written ‘personally’ twice in a thank you post in his insta story to Bvlgari. 

But he hadn’t. What had happened was that Twitter account @TheZiamNews had made a small mistake, and had actually written it twice. The only explanation was that Liam saw it on a Ziam update page VERY quickly, thought he had made the original mistake, and then explained. Interesting that Liam keeps up to date with them. 

There was also the time Liam blocked an account for talking absolute shit about Zayn, or when Herbie Critchlow (a producer from Icarus Falls) retweeted a tweet about Common being about Ziam. Also can’t forget Brandon Colbein posting on insta about some songs he’d written, and somehow there was one for Zayn and one for Liam. 

Oh, and when Liam’s friend Andy (who seems to…split the fandom, but alas) posted a video of him listening to Icarus Falls, or every single mirroring insta post Liam and Zayn can’t seem to help making.

And their eyebrow slits! 😊 this goes allllll the way back to One Direction days.

(x)

Now, this is a constant, recurring thing for them over the years.

It’s usually at the same time, and it usually signifies something. 

Zayn went ALL OUT one day, just after Z*gi ‘broke up’, and put a slit in his eyebrow, but it wasn’t a normal one. It was in the shape of an L. That fucking sap. Not to be outdone though, Liam popped a lil’ Z in the graphics for his show last year in Japan. 

SAPS, THE BOTH OF THEM.

Now, jewellery. 

OOOOOF are we in for it now. You’re probably regretting this ask already. 

Cartier. 

Say that single word around someone who believes in Ziam and you’ve lost them forever. 

Back in 2015 (so yes, a while ago but bear with me) during the OTRA tour, Zayn suddenly started wearing a gold Cartier bracelet. It was interesting because Zayn didn’t wear bracelets at the time. It was particularly interesting because Liam had been seen earlier that day with jewellery bags buying a present. Curious.

Or obvious. 

Either or. 

A similar thing happened when Zayn attended the ‘Straight Outta Compton’ premiere, one of his first appearances after he left the band. He was wearing a Hublot watch, which was also interesting because Zayn didn’t wear watches either. 

But GUESS WHERE LIAM HAD BEEN 2 DAYS BEFORE THE PREMIERE?

You’re damn right, anon. It was Hublot.

Now, the Cartier love bracelet. 

This picture was posted when Liam was getting ready for the Brits in 2017. For those that don’t know, the Cartier love bracelet has little screws, and can only be undone with a little gold screwdriver that comes with it. 

Liam wore it everywhere that year, and so often. It didn’t make sense for it to be ‘given to him by Ch*ryl’, because they would’ve used every opportunity to show that damn screwdriver. 

But they didn’t, because she didn’t have it. Zayn did. 

There’s also the other matching bracelets they’ve worn by Alexander McQueen.

And also the other time Zayn wore Cartier in his film clip, or the fact that Zayn started wearing a ring on his right ring finger that was sold and marketed by Cartier AS A WEDDING RING. 

They also share watches if Zayn decides to wear one, because they’re cute like that.

Now, they also share clothes. 

So many clothes, ohmygod. 

(x)

A prime example of this actually happened just last year! TWICE! IN NYC WHEN LIAM WAS THERE (obviously to see his husband). Both times, Liam was out and about wearing two of Zayn’s jackets. 

It’s also absolutely not a coincidence that when Zayn was staying at G*gi’s apartment on Bond Street, Liam stayed at a hotel a few minutes away a number of times, but when Zayn moved to Soho, Liam suddenly switched hotels to one in Soho, a few minutes away from Zayn’s new place. Just can’t stay away from an old band mate you hardly talk to, hey. 

Also can’t ignore Liam wearing numerous Kooples shirts during the time Zayn was doing promotional stuff for them. Husbands givin’ gifts.

 NYC isn’t the only city that relates to Ziam though! 

Ahhhhhhhh. Ziami. What a time, what a time, what a time (for you and I).

Anyway. 

At the start of last year, Liam and Zayn were both in Miami at the same time filming music videos for Let Me and Familiar respectively, arriving either at the same time or a day apart. It was at a time when Zayn was all over his socials, posting poems and selfies and generally being his relaxed, gorgeous self, which wasn’t incredibly common for a while. 

People were convinced they could hear Zayn in one of Liam’s insta stories, talking in the background just before Liam realises and raises his voice. It’s definitely not firm though, and Liam has someone in his team with a similar accent, but I’ve linked it so you can judge for yourself! Regardless, we knew they were both there, but it was a fun lil’ talking point!

Anyway, according to people who live in the area and know the coastline, they were in the same area at the same time, and we also knew that Liam wasn’t with Ch*ryl because she was back in the UK. Now, Liam posted an Instagram story the next morning half naked in bed, his 4 tattoo (we’ll get to that) and roses on full display, and saying he’d wrecked his voice. 

Well then. 

He also posted this. 

It was a video, but it was Liam, in his room ‘alone’ with two desserts for breakfast at a time when we knew Zayn was there and no one else was, and he suddenly had no voice. 

Okay okay, we get it. 

They also consistently reference the number 25, and honestly, no one knows why the fuck.

Just casually on Liam’s jackets and shoes, Zayn’s shoes and a shirt that was sold (even the red and yellow, ffs Zayn), and also Zayn’s NECK, which he got in 2018. There was also chevrons on a collection for Zayn, just like Liam’s tattoos.

Speaking of tattoos Zayn got in 2018. 

That big, red wolf on his chest just up there?

One of the biggest Ziam things to ever happen. 

Red was Liam’s mic colour in 1D, everything they fucking do seems to be related to red, and Liam’s nickname is Wolfie because he’s from Wolverhampton. 

It’s a red wolf, directly on his chest, and it’s 100% for Liam. It’s not the only red wolf tattoo Zayn has; he also has one on his leg with feathers, just like Liam’s feather tattoo. 

The media often talk about the eyes Zayn has underneath that, and that they’re for G*gi, but the eyes underneath are so much lighter than the surrounding ink, the shape fits easily, and to me, it seems clear they’ve been done in a way that they can easily be inked over. It was designed for a cover up, and hopefully it’s coming. Zayn also has Liam’s name literally inked into his skin. 

They also have coordinating hand tattoos. The mandala on Zayn’s hand and the roses on Liam’s are explained brilliantly in this post. The two of these together mean ‘Symbol of Eternity’. Fucking hell. 

The three roses on Liam’s hand also translates to ‘I love you’. FUUUCCCKKKKKKK.

Liam also wore a ring for a while, until he was forced to take it off, but then he rebelled anyway, and got this.

It’s important because not only is it on his wedding finger, it’s also what he said about it, and when he got it. 

Now, not only is 4 as an angel number about changing the only things that you can in a situation, but Liam directly said that’s what it was. He can’t wear a wedding ring, so he did the next best thing. 

It also came when Liam and Ch*ryl became ‘official’, and when he’d already quashed marriage twice in an interview. Interesting choice, then. He also spoke of the 4 and a ring forming a halo, but still somehow shut down marriage talk? 

…….okay then. 

Some incredibly brilliant people pointed out that it also came just before Valentine’s Day.

And just before he started wearing the Cartier bracelet from earlier. 

There’s also the blatant references to a gorgeous, loving relationship throughout Icarus Falls, especially in Common and There You Are. There You Are was pushed as a Z*gi song, but people realised it was impossible when they found old pictures of the name of the song on his original plan for Mind of Mine, and realised it just hadn’t made that album. It doesn’t fit their timeline at all, but it does fit Ziam.

We don’t see Zayn very much at the moment, and I’m glad that he’s taking his time just doing what he’s doing! It does mean that we hardly see them interact or reference each other much, but I have absolutely no reason to believe they’ve broken up. The fact that they’re both still going through PR relationship bullshit, and the timing of Liam getting a ‘girlfriend’ right now instead of just rumours is very interesting to me, because Z*gi officially finished again not that long ago. When one is ‘single’, the other can’t be, it seems. 

This isn’t even everything, anon. They’re not subtle; Zayn just isn’t in the public eye as much. 

Everything they do screams love, devotion, and commitment to each other. 

And it’s fucking gorgeous.

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

Sleep Tight For Me...I’m Gone

Lately I’ve been writing these Better Days Are A Toenail Away™️ posts in Microsoft Word, selecting all and changing the font to Garamond, which is so readable and beautiful, and posting the Word docs, paragraphs by paragraph, inside these Tumblr drafts. It makes things look nice, to my old fashioned sensibilities, but fixing errors is a time-consuming and needlessly convoluted four-step process.

First, I have to copy, then delete the paragraph containing the error. Then I open the doc. and paste the error-ridden paragraph back into Word. After I find and fix the error, I need to save it and copy and paste it back into the post. It's time-consuming because I’m not just copying a paragraph. As you can see from more recent post, what I copied looked more like a photograph of the paragraph, not the words themselves written in Tumblr’s default font Arial. For an example of this, see below. I like the way it looks like old newspaper clippings. I posted an article about how my fent dealer John Smith kept getting robbed, and had resorted to putting a machete in front of his front door as a way of preventing this, a lever of sorts, which is plainly visible in the video I posted,

So today I’ve given up on trying to make my posts look like books or zines, and have given into the Tumblr font, which is about as pretty as a horse with his snout shot off.

There are two much longer posts I’m working on right now, one about Nirvana and one about Soundgarden, respectively, and how both bands were very unlike their public perception, but those posts are taking a lot of work so I’m putting them on the backburner because today is some dumbass corporation’s day where it tries to synthesize mental health and profit and the end result is as baldly capitalist and clumsy as you would expect. 

I’m not gonna name the company, or repeat their stupid fucking slogan. As far as I can tell (which isn't very far), talking about my trauma has never made me feel better. And in fact it has sometimes made me feel worse, because in telling you what hurts and scares me, I’ve given a part of myself away that I can’t get back. When you’re like me, and you’ve lost everything multiple times, sometimes the only form of power you have is how you choose, or do not choose, to tell your story. And in a world where everybody wants to tell “their truth,” silence is power. 

You don’t get to know me, sorry. I’m not gonna hand you my life, both my bad and good experiences, and conclude: “Welp, that’s why I’m so fucked up. Case closed.” 

Honestly, I used to be a little confused, or miffed that my former partner (who is an amazing person btw, in every respect) almost never spoke about some of the traumatic things she’d experienced in her past. I took it as a sign that she either didn’t trust me, or she didn’t think I would be a sympathetic listener, or the mere fact of my gender precluded her from sharing because I couldn’t truly understand what it was she had gone through. It’s not like I ever asked her to talk about it, but I did say, once or twice, “hey if you ever wanna talk about that stuff, I’m around.” She never took me up on it, and I let it go. 

But as I watched her, and saw her life unfold, over the years we spent together, I began to realize I wasn’t exactly in any position to be telling her how to live her life or how to be mentally healthy. After all, she has found success in a number of avenues, both creative and occupational, and I’ve found neither. I'm not saying the fact that she didn't talk much about her trauma is the reason for her success. I'm saying that she's forged a better path through life than I have, and maybe I should take a cue from that.

She never told me what to do, per se. It was more like living by example. But because I’m pretty dense, and a severe addict, our time together actually sorta reminds me now of that Cornell lyric from his first record: She’s going to change the world. But she can’t change me.

I have certainly found that talking about how shitty my life is only makes me feel more shitty, not free, or unburdened, or better. If you wanna talk about your problems, and you find it helpful, more power to you. Just don’t wait for a corporation to tell you it’s okay to not be okay. 

When Chris Cornell died I was so shocked. Of all the grunge icons he seemed the most stable, and he'd survived the rise and fall of two major label rock bands. If anyone had survived the media machine that chewed up and spat out Staley, Cobain, and to a lesser extent Andrew Wood and Shannon Hoon, it was Cornell. He would be the last guy to support hashtag activism like #StarbucksMyLifeSucks. Chris Cornell actually loved to fuck with the best laid plans of corporate rats. Molson once had a few promotional concerts in Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories, called Molson Canadian Rocks Arctic, with both Hole and Soundgarden playing to a crowd of flown-in grunge fans and bemused locals. But the whole anti-corporate thing grunge was known for actually came through when Courtney Love told the crowd she “use[d] Molson Canadian to douche.” Lol. Here’s a photo of Love arriving in Tuktoyatuk.

Cornell told the same people “so we’re here because of some beer company? Labatt’s?” Both artists’ jabs are funny. Cornell’s was a bit more subtle, but that’s what Cornell was like. 

So today’s post is about Chris Cornell’s suicide, more specifically the media’s reaction to it. For whatever reason, when Cornell died, every single news outlet, from CNN to Fox to CBC, posted “Black Hole Sun,” as if it’s the only song he ever fucking wrote, or – and this is far worse – the only song he wrote that’s worth hearing. The problem with this is more than twofold or threefold. It's fucking hydraheaded. 

Not only is “Black Hole Sun” a mediocre piece of music, it’s a complete misrepresentation of Soundgarden’s sound. 

Now, I’m a huge fan of the A.V. Club series HateSong, in which public figures gleefully talk shit about the one song they hate more than any other song in the world. The Max Bemis (Say Anything) one where he talks about Nirvana’s “Rape Me” as a terrible rewrite of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is terrific, but comedian Anthony Jeselnik’s HateSong takes “Black Hole Sun” apart, and I love it. I think the best line is: I think the more I hear it, the worse it gets. AVC: After the song became a huge hit, Chris Cornell said that he’d written it in about 15 minutes. AJ: I totally believe that. I don’t believe that Soundgarden likes that song. Like, I remember Eminem once said that he knew his song “My Name Is” was going to be a huge hit because the first time he heard it he was annoyed. It’s something about an annoying song that just grabs onto people. But I don’t think that anyone likes “Black Hole Sun.” I’ve never heard of anyone who likes it. I don’t understand why it gets played so much. It’s become a summer jam, and it’s not a summer song at all. Jeselnik is right that Soundgarden didn’t think much of the song. Guitarist Kim Thayil wasn’t kidding when he disparagingly called it the “Dream On” of their live show. And Cornell himself, known for a meticulous approach to his songwriting, had admitted that with “Black Hole Sun”was “probably the closest to me just playing with words for words’ sake, of anything I’ve written. I guess it worked for a lot of people who heard it, but I have no idea how you'd begin to take that one literally.” I mean it’s obvious from the opening lines that Cornell is just playing with words and how they sound: in my eyes/indisposed/in disguises no one knows What songs would have been more appropriate for Cornell’s untimely death? Glad you asked! Cuz there’s like…fucking at least ten that would have been better. I’m not tryna be one of those “the deep album cuts are better maaaaaan,” but with Soundgarden, it happens to be true. With some bands, the single are their best work. With other bands, the singles are the hors d’oeuvres for the entrees. So what deep cuts would have celebrated Cornell’s death a bit better? Well, to begin with, Superunknown’s strange and stately closer “Like Suicide” would have worked, for obvious reasons.

“Tighter and Tighter,” a song that is actually about the moment of death and what it might feel like, is one of my all-time fav Soundgarden songs. Not only is it a creepy and prescient prediction of what Cornell’s death by hanging himself may have felt like, it’s opening line is a good description of the personification of death: Shadow face/Blowing smoke and talking wind

Another sample lyric: “A sucking holy wind will take me from this bed tonight/and bloody wits another hits me and I have to say goodbye/sleep tight for me, I’m gone/and I hope it’s  a sweet ride/here for me tonight/cuz I’m feel I’m going/feel I’m slowing down.” 

The morning after Cornell’s death hit the news my buddy and bandmate James told me that en route to work his phone, which was playing music randomly through his car speakers, landed on “Tighter and Tighter” and he had to pull over because he was tearing up. 

“Fell On Black Days” is another song about depression and mortality. Cornell had the following to say about the song: “Fell on Black Days” was like this ongoing fear I’ve had for years ... It's a feeling that everyone gets. You're happy with your life, everything’s going well, things are exciting—when all of a sudden you realize you’re unhappy in the extreme, to the point of being really, really scared. There's no particular event you can pin the feeling down to, it's just that you realize one day that everything in your life is fucked! 

Now, if that’s not a cogent and even-tempered explanation of suicidal thoughts, what is? Why else would Cornell have admitted to being “really really scared” by his depression unless he knew what that depression could ultimately leasd to? Here’s some lyrics to “Fell on Black Days.” Dig the high literary use of “whomsoever” and “whatsoever.” Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to life Whatsoever I fought off became my life Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile sunspots have faded and now I’m doing time cuz I fell on black days

Whomsoever I’ve cured I’ve sickened now Whomsoever I’ve cradled...I put you down I’m a searchlight soul they say but I can’t see it in the night I’m only faking when I get it right I sure don’t mind a change but I fell on black days how would I know that this could be my fate?

Eagle-eared listeners might think this version different from the album version. They are right. The rendition in the video was recorded live off the floor @ Bad Animals, the Seattle studio owned by Heart, where Soundgarden would record Down on the Upside. 

“Boot Camp” is a scary meditation about loss of agency that for years was tied with Zeppelin’s “I'm Gonna Crawl” for Creepiest Song to Cap a Discography, until Soundgarden reunited and released King Animal.

“Taree” is about ghost light, influencing events after dying and features Cornell’s most exhausted, convincing “yeah” @ 2:57.

“Applebite” is a Matt Cameron-penned ponderous clunker about Adam’s original expulsion from Eden. Doomy and death-laden.

“Let Me Drown” is a song about letting someone die.

“The Day I Tried To Live” is frequently cited as Soundgarden’s finest achievement, its odd time signature somehow sounds straight, thanks to Matt Cameron’s brilliant time keeping.

“4th of July” is a song about a post apocalyptic urban landscape, where the speaker isn’t sure whether he is seeing fireworks or bombs. 

“Limo Wreck” is a cool death song and has an eerie 9-11 prediction. “Building the towers belongs to the sky/when the whole thing comes crashing down don’t ask me why.” 

ANY of the above songs would have been better than that fucking asinine dirge-like major key fuckaround that has somehow not just become Soundgarden's signature song...but their ONLY song. 

Does nobody remember Johnny Cash covering “Rusty Cage?” 

“Outshined?”

“Burden In My Hand?”

“Blow Up The Outside World?”

Did none of these other songs get stuck in the electric head? (The electric head is Rob Zombie’s term for the technologically advanced culture we have found ourselves enmeshed in, or imprisoned by. It was the subtitle for White Zombie’s 1995 hit album Astro-Creep 2000: Songs of Love, Destruction, and other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head.)

For my money (which ain’t much honey), the song that best fits both Cornell’s artistic integrity and the sad circumstances of his suicide is “Tighter and Tighter.” I once wrote a whole article on the way artists use “yeah” as a placeholder or as a way to convey emotion when words themselves aren’t adequate. Dig that tired, world-weary exhausted “yeah” at 5:35 of “Tighter & Tighter.”

Or the creepy line going into the first chorus: remember this...remember everything’s just black or burning sun. Not that I agree with such a bleak worldview. It’s a writer’s line. And Randy Bachman has said, “when you’re a writer, you’d step over your own mother.” That’s the Cornell I want to remember. Not that he would step over his own mother. By all accounts he was a committed family man. I mean, I want to remember the Cornell who created strange atmospheric sonic worlds, who explored the dark side that sadly, eventually won out. His otherworldly beautiful music is what I choose to remember about Chris Cornell, not his estate tastelessly exploiting “Black Hole Sun” by using a line from the song to title a posthumous Cornell album of covers No One Sings Like You Anymore. Sigh.

First Cornell’s widow said this was “Chris’s last album.” Okay. What about the Soundgarden songs he recorded vocals for before he died? Kim Thayil was pretty diplomatic about it when asked recently. Cornell did record vocal tracks for the follow up to King Animal.

Kim Thayil: “Given our love for Chris, I do not see us reconfiguring without him.”

But he makes it clear in this interview that Cornell’s widow Vicky has those tracks and won’t release them to the band. Maybe because she blames the band for Chris dying that night? She’s not wrong to believe that they would have known, and seen, what kind of shape Cornell was in, at least at the venue, maybe not later at the hotel.

Kim Thayil: “It’s entirely possible that a new Soundgarden album will be released. Certainly. All it would need is to take the audio files that are available. I tighten up the guitars. Ben does the bass. We get the producers we want to make it sound like a Soundgarden record.”

Interviewer: “Is there an obstacle stopping that?”

Kim Thayil: “There shouldn’t be. There really isn’t. Other than the fact that we don’t have those files.”

Interviewer: “They’re not under your auspices?”

Kim Thayil: “Right. It would be ridiculous if [the record wasn’t made]. But these are difficult things. Partnerships and...property.”

You’re just gonna keep those wav files? And why title his covers album Volume 1 if it’s his “last album?”

Oh right. $$$

No one does sing like Cornell, but is “Black Hole Sun” really the best thing he ever did? The best song he ever sang? Should an album of covers be the last thing he gives to the world?

The only honest answer is no.

Sleep tight Chris. You’re gone.

[kizykinz]

My Opinion on Shawn Right Now

Warning: I’m probably going to cry and I have a feeling that this is going to make me very vulnerable. Also, if you disagree, that’s fine, but please keep in mind that it’s an opinion and there is a person behind the screen. <3

Here it is. Here is what I've been dying to say for a long time. Can I just start off by saying that I love this boy so much? Like literally so much. I know everyone says it, but he’s helped me a lot. He’s inspired me to be a better person (not physically because I don’t work out smh). I remember being nine or ten years old (op, age reveal if you do the math) and scrolling through YouTube and finding a video of a boy with a hat on singing Wanted by Hunter Hayes. I remember Shawn not being that popular. I remember Magcon and the vines and I remember thinking that this kid right here. He’s going to change the world. I remember when he posted prom photos with Lauren and I remember him being active on Tumblr. I remember him being young. God, I remember when him and Lauren were a big deal. 

IKWYDLS was a huge deal. It was a great song for it’s time and was played everywhere, every minute. I remember watching videos of Shawn and Camila and not shipping them because I didn’t get that vibe from them. they seemed like genuine friends. Time skip to when Senorita came out. None of us was expecting it to say the least. When I first watched the video, it was 12 a.m. in Colorado. I was with my sister and she said, “they seem awkward.” and I didn’t really pay attention BECAUSE SHAWN MENDES MADE A STEAMY MUSIC VIDEO IM SHOOK was still running through my veins haha. I also thought of how crazy stan twitter must of been going. (Im not apart of stan twitter anymore. It’s a long story. And a story for a different time). I seriously didn’t think anything of shawnmila. I was just proud of my bambi. Then, shit started going down real quick. But you guys know the story. Let’s go to Shawn performing in Denver. I watched him perform Senorita/IKWYDLS and when he opened his eyes they were glossy, and almost looked dead in a way? (this was after the kissing video got leaked) No one else really noticed. But there were a couple of fans that did I bet. Then, he asked how many people had watched/listened to him since his first album and even before that. Not a lot of people cheered, but there was still some, including me. He looked up and he just smiled. It was a comfortable smile too. One that said he knew that we know a lot about him, if that makes any sense. And honestly, he seemed so happy and he looked so refreshed. It looked as if he dropped the mask and he let it go. And it was like 16 year old shawn was sitting there, about to play some old songs for the crowd and that C was just a friend.  Almost like he could’ve just stopped the concert and had a real talk right there. I honestly didn’t care about him and Camila that much. I didn’t care if it was for PR or not. I wanted a fic where the reader teaches him how to kiss instead though smh. I just thought, well, as long as he’s happy it’s none of my business what’s going on behind closed doors. The past couple weeks, I’ve noticed something. The bags under his eyes are growing and he’s always drinking tea or his leg is always bouncing. His anxiety is getting to him. Then, I heard a rumor that he went backstage after a show one night and had a breakdown because he felt like he was letting us down. Then, yesterday when he wouldn’t take a photo with a fan when C was there, even though he loves us and loves taking photos with us, put me on edge a bit. Ngl. When I heard about the qna and him not answering a simple question that has NOTHING really to do with C, sent me. I was so fucking pissed at Shawn for doing this. For not listening to us and lying to us and all of that. But then I thought, he doesn’t hate anything more in the world than lying to us and keeping secrets. He doesn’t hate anything more in the world than saying no to photos with fans because he genuinely loves us to death. All of it is slowly killing him. It’s so obvious. He’s not being Shawn at the QnA’s, his eyes are either always puffy and red or always black with the bags. He’s constantly drinking calming tea, his leg is bouncing a lot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s taking his meds that slow his heart rate  again. I bet you he’s closing us out because he doesn't even know what's going on. He’s hurting us, and he knows it. It’s killimg him.  C is killing him. He’s tired and he’s upset and she’s probably pushing him to do more, PR or not. God, I love that kid so much. and here we go. I’m crying smh. He deserves all the happiness in the world. He deserves a girl that treats him right. I’m not being “a jealous 15 year old girl” because honestly. I don’t want to date Shawn Mendes. I don’t. At all. I want to be his friend and go on tour with him. I don’t want to go on book dates and make out with him in a restaurant. I’ll happily be a fan rather than be with him. He deserves gluten-free blueberry muffins at 10 a.m. He deserves to go home after a long day to whoever he wants. He deserves to go on tour and meet the fans. But, this girl is killing him. It’s pretty damn obvious. Even though he’s not off the hook with me about what he did at the QnA, he still deserves everything this world has to offer him. And god dammit, I was pissed for a hot minute at him. If he doesn’t want questions about it, don’t do it in public. I get that it sucks but it is his life too.  @serendipitousshawn ‘s inbox was probably filled with me ranting about it haha. but, he’s not even 21 yet. He’s a celebrity. He’s a full grown fucking man and he made an oopsies. He apologized on twitter (even tho he deleted the tweet smh) and I bet money he’s going to apologize at the QnA today. If he doesn’t, I might lose it. So Long fucking rant short. He made a mistake, I’m still kinda pissed at him?, and @serendipitousshawn would’ve made a better explanation than me and thats the tea. 

[headoverjojo]

Can I request Bruno's gang reacting to finding out their extremely feminine/girly fem s/o listens to metal music? Like, she's basically a stereotypical barbie type girl but loves some pretty extreme music lol 😂

Hello there, sweetie!

Boy this was so fun 😂

(under the cut for lenght!)

Bruno Bucciarati

He loves his s/o with all his heart, her and her extremely feminine tastes, her love for frilly cute things and her girly attitude. It’s like a fresh breeze that wipes the daily stress and worry away. He can’t restrain a smile when she storms in his office.

Little he knows that his Barbie-type s/o is a real proud metal fan. He finds it when his s/o calls him, begging him to come to pick her up because her car died in the middle of the street. He immediately drives to her, panic already clenching his gut. Was she hurt? What was she doing out so late in night? Did someone-

His wild thoughts freeze when he sees her, fine and well, and a group of her friends waving their hands at him to make him stop.

His s/o wears a t-shirt with a metal band logo proudly displayed on it, as her friends. Even her makeup, usually light and on pink nuances, is black and strong. He doesn’t say anything about it, he just checks her, to see if she’s alright, then picks her and her friends and brings them to their houses. Once they’re alone, Bruno notices that she’s fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, with a sheepish look. He smiles a little, capturing her fingers with his, and brings her hand to his mouth, lightly kissing her knuckles. “So, you like metal music?” at his girlfriend’s timid nod, he smiles again. “Then I know that to give you for your birthday.” In the end, his present is a ticket (and one for himself as well) for a big metal festival to which she would have wanted to go since long time. She has the time of her life and, surprisingly, Bruno too.

Leone Abbacchio

As his stand’s name suggests, Abbacchio is more for softer musical genres, as progressive rock. He, however, is open-minded and he’d try to listen to everything (the only genre he really doesn’t like is Narancia’s favourite, but more because the boy blasts his music too loud than for a real dislike). This said, he never, not even for an instant, suspects that his s/o could be a metalhead.

She is the exact opposite of him, with her frilly dresses, the light and pink makeup, her soft laugh and the sunlight that she seems to carry with her everywhere she goes. Abbacchio is head over heels for her and doesn’t mind at all her girly attitude that, to someone, can seem vain and shallow. He knows she’s not and doesn’t mind what the others think.

He found out about her love for metal the day they finally moved together. While he was packing some of her belongings, he noticed something that seemed out of place:it was Judas Priest’s “Defenders of the Faith.” He first labeled it as an album belonged to her father, maybe, but, when he found others metal bands’ albums, he understood that those albums were hers. He was surprised, since his s/o didn’t really seem the type to listen to a similar genre, but then he remembered that a book can’t be judged by its cover. He was even thrilled by it, he wanted to know more about her and, when he approached her with her albums in his hands and asked her if they could listen to one of them while they were packing, she was out of words.

In the end, Abbacchio finds himself to enjoy that kind of music and, when they’re alone, they listen to a mix of her and his albums, both enjoying each other’s tastes.

Guido Mista

He lives to see his s/o happy and loves everything about her, from her fashion style to her passion for pink and girly things. She loves him as well, she is nice and kind with the Pistols, what could he want more?

He always buys her little but meaningful gifts that she would surely like, since they are in her tastes range. It never occurs to him that, under the feminine and frilly features, she hides a true metal fan.

One day he arrived earlier to pick her up for a date, so he trotted to her door, thinking that it would not have been a problem. He stopped on his track when he heard a loud -and not the soft and angelic one he always imagined for her in his head- music coming from her apartment. He almost thought he was at the wrong door when he heard her voice perfectly singing the last words of “Hell’s Bells”. He then knocked at her door and the music abruptly stopped. Her red-faced s/o peered at him and his amazed gaze. “Babe, you know you have a wonderful voice?” his s/o was taken aback from his statement. “Are you not… annoyed by my music choices…?” “Annoyed? And why? They’re valid!”

Mista is not a person who judges someone by their music choices and he does the same with his s/o. Metal music makes her happy? Then he’s absolutely fine with that. Now he surprises her with some metal albums and gadgets of her favourite bands and the big smile she offers him is everything he needs.

Narancia Ghirga

He’s still bewildered to be loved by a girl like his s/o. She’s not annoyed by his demeanour and low education and she always supports him and his -often- crazy ideas with enthusiasm. Everyone thought it was just a crush and that soon it would have been gone away, but here they are, the Passione Soldato and the frilly, feminine to the bone and pinkish girl, more in love than ever.

They have a lot of matching things: the orange bandana (she decorated hers with a little cute bow), some bracelets and their MP3s. One day, Narancia accidentally picked his girlfriend’s MP3 instead of his one and he didn’t notice ‘till he was home -the HQ-, when he blasted his music, as usual. Instead of his usual rap songs, however, from the speakers came out Axl Rose’s high pitched voice singing “Welcome to the Jungle”. He was quite shocked by the sudden burst of electric guitars and immediately switched the MP3 off, before someone came to check him -mostly Fugo-.

He realized immediately that that MP3 was his girlfriend’s one and decided to snoop into it a little. His eyes widened when he saw that all the songs in it were metal or heavy rock. He expected something softer, like Britney Spears, Destiny’s child or Spice Girls, not Saxon, Megadeth and Guns’n’Roses! This, however, doesn’t bother him: on the contrary, he finds it extremely interesting, since it means that under her frilly appearance is hidden a wild spirit! When he gives the MP3 back to his s/o -she’s more than embarassed-, he just grins and compliments her for her music tastes. Maybe it’s time for Nara to widen his musical tastes?

Pannacotta Fugo

His s/o is the only person who has never tasted Fugo’s rage, not even an inch. Fugo finds her so adorable that he’s physically prevented from getting angry towards her. Everything of her, from her girly giggles to her Barbie-ish style, gives him peace and a sense of belonging. He really loves her.

After few months of relationship, she decides to introduce him to her parents, so she invites him to lunch at her house. Saying that Fugo is panicking is an understatement: he’s in a frenzy for all the week that precedes the lunch. For the occasion he leaves aside his infamous holed suit in favor of more normal clothes. 

The launch goes pretty well, despite of Fugo’s obvious nervousness -that her parents find cute- and, after it, his s/o guides him to her room.

He freezes on the threshold of her room, staring at the many posters that decorate her room’s walls: Alice Cooper, Kiss, Pantera and a lot of other main protagonists of metal are depicted on them. Her room itself is a balanced mix of cute and girlish things and more particular objects. What enraptures his attention, however, is the big shelf furniture full of CDs, all metal and hard rock. He skims them, until he picks one: it’s “Love at First Sting” by Scorpions. He smiles fondly at her, who is watching him in silence, saying that that CD was one of his grandma’s favourite ones and so it’s tied to some of the few beautiful memories he has from his childhood. After that sweet admission, his girlfriend often puts that CD on and they both chill quietly, listening to the music.

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno’s girlfriend’s joyous and sunny attitude helps him a lot to be less stiffy. Even if he’s stressed and worried by his Don commitments, when she enters in his office he always smiles: it’s like the spring itself comes with her. He couldn’t care less about what the others could say, seeing a frilly and, apparently, vain girl with the Don of Passione. He deeply knows her and nothing could make him change his ideas on her.

He, however, doesn’t know everything of her, as he thinks: he has no idea that she loves metal music. He discovers it overhearing a conversation between her and Mista. The gunman was commenting a documentary about Led Zeppelin on the TV and Giorno’s girlfriend started a really long and detailed explanation about the band and metal. Both Giorno and Mista were kinda shocked by her vast knowledge about such subject.

A couple of days after the episode, Giorno gives her a little gift: a rare special edition of The Best of Led Zeppelin. His s/o is incredulous and, kissing his face more times, she asks him how he knew that she loves so much metal and, in particular, Led Zeppelin. He gives her his infamous enigmatic smile and just says that a “little bird told him so”. He’s absolutely not bothered by her music choices and even starts to grow fond of some songs.

[jackshithere]

How would you describe each of the Rammstein members to someone who knew nothing about them?

Oh man… If we’re being honest, you don’t really start with the juicy bits (that keep making people come for more) if it’s someone who really doesn’t know anything about them. But I will try to make this as newbie-friendly as possible, and add enough simple details to maybe explain the level of fanatic adoration for them. (But I must admit that 1- this will be loooong as fuck and 2- I fangirl about them for their professionalism, so it won’t be as humorous as one might hope)

I’ll do a collection of posts later throughout the week tagged “Rammstein glossary” about each member, maybe get other blogs on board, but I’ll keep this exclusively newbie friendly, if a tad bit too long 

Ok, so, first things first. Facts you can gleam from any wikipedia, with a little introduction on the side.

There are 6 members of the band:

Till Lindemann - the singer, the poet and a professional pyromaniac

He’s an intimidating man, with tall frame and a build of a panzer tank. Till commands the stage with incredibly rich baritone voice and penchant for being set on fire, or carrying big ass flame throwers.

Matter of fact is he’s shy, introverted, doesn’t like being stared at (hence the fire, to distract from his form) and is a soft spoken, polite man - also, his speaking voice is much much softer and gentler. People generally find him fascinating for this paradoxical character.

Richard Z. Kruspe - the guitarist and founder of Rammstein

He is..how do I put this? The typical artist. Diva and control freak, plagued by doubt and striving for perfection, which all make for one hard man to work with. Richard is somewhat of a Tumblr’s sweetheart. He’s aware of those traits, and the most talkative of the group - especially about his mental health, and the problems he faced. Which means people often relate to him, and he’s genuinely a kind and engaging conversationalist, so there are a lot of his interviews to be found online.

Also, it helps that he’s easy on the eyes, let’s be real. Also, he’s a natural meme inducer. Everything that man does and say is meme-able as shit.

Paul Landers - the other guitarist

Always smiling and extraordinarily exuberant, he’s seen as the most approachable and somewhat of a goofball of the group, always up to some antics in the background. He’s the shortest and openly the silliest of the group, so Paul does sometimes get a bit.. infantilized by some fans.

He’s got an unexpectedly rich singing voice, and he’s probably a bit of a control freak himself. For a guy that talks a lot, he doesn’t share personal details as often as Richard, so he’s also somewhat of an unexplored entity. He used to be in a previously successful punk band “Feeling B” with Flake

Christian “Flake” (fla-keh) Lorenz - the keyboardist

This is all you need to know about him. Joking. He’s extremely tall, lanky and born with a soul of a cranky old man. He was with Paul in the previously mentioned band.

He’s.. how do I describe him.. I think he’s the only member you have to go anecdotal to explain him. When they play live, he has a treadmill that he paces on during the entire concert because he gets bored easily. Flake has this sort of… interpretive giraffe-being-tazed-by-electric-fence dance that he does. He’s …somehow he’s the craziest of the group, I really have no vanilla explanation for him. If you get into Rammstein, you’ll get it.

Oliver Riedel - bassist

True to the stereotype about bassists, he’s tall as fuck, quiet and people forget he exists most of the time. Ollie is the youngest of them all, extremely private, and generally a sweetheart. There really isn’t a lot to be said about him - he’s the outdoors-y, athletic type and he also joins in on Paul and Schneider’s antics.

That’s how you do proper crowd surfing

Christoph “Doom” Schneider - the drummer

The sassiest of the bunch. I would categorize him as an extrovert, but a very well contained one. He prefers being called by his last name, though the Doom nickname came from the time he needed a name for the German copyright agency (Christoph Schneider is like John Smith of Germany), and he was suggested by Paul to use Doom, because they like the game. Incredibly confident, but also quite silly man.

In one video, he was dressed as a woman - often referred to as Frau Schneider - and he did it so well (uptight mannerisms, pursed lips, sitting posture that would bring Petunia Dudley to tears all packed in a shockingly beautiful face - I mean, look at him!) that it’s now a part of the live show for him to appear with make up and a wig.

Now, the band, Rammstein.Let’s skip the things you’ll find out from a quick read through of wikipedia, like the name, when they were founded, and all that, instead let’s go for:

What genre are they even?

What songs would you recommend a first time listener?

Why are they so well liked?

What’s so special about them?

The debate about the genre is still on going. You have people claiming they are metal band, you got the German Neue Deutsche Härte genre, you got… tons. Best way to describe, if you want to go for a solid genre label, is Alternative Hard Rock - because they are not really a metal band. But if you’re aiming for the heart of it, it’s Industrial. It’s “abrasive and aggressive fusion of rock and electronic music, with a side dash of punk”. More on their style later.

For a newbie, you got different types:

Not a fan of metal or hard rock at all - If you want to go for easier sounds, where Till’s vocal’s are more prominent, and the instruments are not as aggressively in your face, I recommend Amour for an easy introduction to his vocal style, Ohne Dich, Rosenrot and then Seemann and Mutter

Preferes rock to metal - Amerika, Mein Land, Ich Will

Fine with metal, but generally sticks to upbeat songs - Ich Tu Dir Weh, Weisses Fleisch, Haifisch and Du Riechst So Gut

Open to metal, but prefers the gothic or more alternative genres - Mein Herz Brennt, Engel, Rammstein 

Metal (take it with a grain of salt, not everyone would call it metal, but the sound is hardest in these) - Mann Gegen Mann, Mein Teil and …Benzin? hesitant on the last one

Of course, this is purely my suggestion, and some won’t agree with this classification, but I think it’s a solid introduction to them. Also if you can convince a friend not to watch the video until they hear the song first, I think that would make it somewhat easier to get them into it (because hey, you made them listen to it twice, and they are watching a video so not as focused and they’ll get int— is it obvious that I forced 3 friends to do exactly that and that’s how I got them all into Rammstein?)

This is getting so long at this point, I am putting more effort into this than into my college essays..Why are they so well liked? In short: Fire, Professionalism, Democracy, Music and Controversy1) Fire. “Other bands play, Rammstein burns!“

 Ok, not just fire. Though it’s pretty cool.

2) The ultimate professionalism. I am not kidding when I say that giant, well planned Broadway Musicals pale in comparison to the sheer perfection and amount of panache they put in their live gigs.

It’s considered that it should be on everyone’s bucket list to see Rammstein live at least once. 

I don’t want to stereotype Germans and working like machines, but what makes Rammstein so good, is that they really stick to that stereotype where everything is a perfectly executed machine with no space for fucking around. 

3) Democracy. This influences the professionalism part in the sense that, since all the members of the band have an equal amount of vote over what gets done and how, it means that they all criticize each other’s ideas until they find the middle ground. That middle ground is how they kept their specific genre, while managing to churn out wonderful after wonderful album (I am being very biased here, I just really like every single album, all for different reasons), all with a firm idea of what Rammstein is for all of them

4) Lyrics

First of all, about the lyrics - they are all written by Till. Yet on all songs, credits go to all the members, because everyone gets an input. It really cannot be understated how much of a group project this is. It’s a democratic band where everyone holds the same weight. 

My personal favourite ones are Dalai Lama and Klavier. I am sucker for story telling songs and the words he uses are so perfectly chosen! The first one is a twist on Goethe’s poem while the second one is a very dark love song.

5) Controversy

Since this has gotten embarrassingly long, let me say this in shortest way possible: Some people like provocative, others abhor it and together when they argue they market Rammstein like no other. Rammstein has been blamed like any other metal band for school shootings, Nazi imagery, promoting physically abusive relationships, inciting youths to unlawful/harmful behavior etc. while doing none of that.

But in general, Rammstein has a wonderful attitude of “Interpret out lyrics anyway you want to, we just draw the line at being called Nazis.” and they usually make a point of just telling a story/ presenting a song whose lyrics and/or video are but an element to the entire thing.

Oh my god, I finally scrolled up to check if I answered everything, and you didn’t even ask for all the rest, I just kept spewing on and on D:Sorry!Once I start about Rammstein, I keep going on and on and on. I hope that at least was a good enough introduction, I’ll do those little glossaries with in jokes and fun facts later, as I promised all the way at the beginning

[starlessskies94]

The Star and The Saviour (Negan/BlakeAU) Chapter 2

And already on chapter two! Thank you so much for the love for the first chapter, I’m over the moon people liked it! And I’m buzzing that the awesome @thetruebornwildchild approved! Much love to you my dear!! ❤️

As always huge thank you to @neganandblake for your support, girl you’re fabulous!  ❤️❤️

Hope this next chapter doesn’t disappoint. 

(Gifs belong to owners) Also I seem to be leaning toward the JDM gifs with him wearing glasses and I’m so down for that! The man is beautiful nuff said! 😍😍

Chapter 2

From the moment Blake walked into the restaurant, she felt sick. Struggling from a sleepless night and a slow morning; the last thing she wanted to do was play up the cameras. But knowing well enough that her album needed the publicity and the fact that she’d already agreed to the arrangement meant there was no chance she couldn’t back out now. 

The restaurant was crowded for a Wednesday afternoon but she was somewhat grateful that she wouldn’t be totally alone with this new man in her life. Even if there were strangers to her. She’d sighed the odd autograph from fans passing by as she made her way through the sea of diners. Her green orbs looking to spy the actor she’d been set up with. 

Noticing by the front window the paparazzi already flocking with their cameras. Proving Negan’s ‘anonymous’ tip had worked of the new couple and the start of their blossoming relationship.

She saw him sitting at table in the middle of the room, an obvious choice to attract the most attention. The blonde approaching cautiously before tapping the man on the shoulder.

“Hi...I’m Blake...I uh guess, I’m your date.” She smiled awkwardly. God she really didn’t want to be here, and that feeling only intensified when David practically pulled her into her chair. A fake smile worn across his lips as he roughly took a hold of her hand.

“Yeah whatever sweetheart, just sit your ass down. Close that little mouth of yours and look pretty okay?” He hissed quietly. “I want the paps to get a good shot of this.” 

Blake sat stunned at the actor’s attitude. Surely he wasn’t serious?! Of course she’d done her research about her new ‘boyfriend’ and it seemed this David was quite well known as a Hollywood bad boy that didn’t care for following set rules or listening to the advice from his Agent. He craved the limelight, to be Hollywood’s next big thing. And for some reason the public had fallen in love with the image. This persona of a man that did his own thing and couldn’t be tamed. 

Even Blake herself had understood some of the appeal but this guy wasn’t just using the persona to stay relevant, he really was like that in real life. 

But still she’d agreed to commit to this relationship, fake or not. She needed to give the guy a chance. 

“It’s David right? I’ve seen a couple of your movies...you’re pretty talented.” She tried politely. “I wasn’t sure myself about this whole arrangement but I’m sure this could work out if we get to know each other a little.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, running her tongue across her parched lips watching David intently as he sat turned in his chair, looking out for the flashing cameras.

Not listening to a single word she had said.

The blonde took a sip of her water as she waited for David to turn back, her patience truly wearing thin after she checked her watch a fourth time; clocking it to a whole eleven minutes he’d been watching them. Until finally he managed to pull him away to sit back at the table.

His eyes now glued to his phone, fingers scrolling through the newly refreshed feeds. 

“Look Blaire-” 

“It’s Blake.” She corrected.

“I don’t care.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand as he continued scrolling through his phone. “We’re both know we’re only in this to get the publicity, we play the part, we smile for the cameras and spin the love story for those dumb as shit fans...but as soon as my premiere hits the screens and I’ve sold out the theaters all over the globe...as far as I’m concerned, you can hit the bricks babe.” 

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If it was possible, Blake left the restaurant feeling even more worthless than when she’d arrived. Her lunch with David not going at all as she’d expected. 

At first it had seemed as though she’d be using him to boost her career, her album filled with love songs for a man she ‘adored’ more than life itself. But it seemed in reality, he was the one using her for the rise in fame and admiration. The weight hanging over her and tightening her chest the more she thought about it. 

Heading down to Negan’s office, she opened the door to find him sat at his desk, laptop in hand. A kind smile inching across his face at the sight of her.

“Hey Peaches...only an hour and you and Davey boy are already trending.” He marveled. “Not to mention the rumors of a budding romance already circulating on the tabloids’ media pages.” 

“I take it the date went well then?” He asked. 

And Blake could already tell that he had no idea what David was like in person. Hell there was even the chance he’d yet to meet the guy. But with the genuine look in his soft eyes, the man clearly believed that this arrangement was helping her career and had no clue about David’s people using her to get what he wanted. 

Negan had been there from the beginning, he’d gone with her to the open mic nights, talked away her fear when she’d suffered from stage fright. Offered to pay for recording sessions and guitar repairs when she’d been too broke to afford it herself.

It was why; when she did finally get discovered and offered a record deal; she’d wanted him with her throughout all of it. 

And so she did the only thing she could think of....she lied.

“It went great...he’s a nice guy.” She felt the words turn bitter in her mouth as she said them. But they’d been convincing enough that Negan never called her out for it. Instead nodding and resuming his work. Leaving Blake feeling hollow at her own lies.

In the weeks that would follow, she would appear on numerous talk shows; endless interviews. Gushing over a man she despised. 

The magazines and newspapers constantly reporting about the ‘happy couple’ and their appearances throughout the city at Hollywood’s hottest events.

The flashing and clicking of the cameras making Blake dizzy whenever she was forced out with David, playing her part of the doting girlfriend so proud of her man’s work. It was exhausting. 

When the two month mark rolled around Blake felt the dread twisting again. Slipping into the dress and flipping her golden locks down her back, she paused by the mirror. Feeling as fake as she looked. 

The fake smile, the burning love in her eyes that she carried for someone else. It was ridiculous to her to celebrate an anniversary of a relationship that was as fake as David’s nose and white pearly teeth. 

Somewhat satisfied with how she looked, she made her way downstairs towards the hall. A smile instantly appearing when she found Negan stood waiting for her.

“Well? How do I look?” She asked nervously.

“I mean, what the hell do you even wear to a fake anniversary dinner anyway?!” the blonde scoffed. Negan chuckled as he ran a hand over his stubble covered chin. Giving a shrug and sliding his hands into his pockets.

“Your guess is as good as mine Darlin’...but you look beautiful Peaches.” 

The dark-haired man lost himself as he gazed at her. Her long shapely legs, her curve-hugging dress that fit in all the right places. The glowing mane of blonde locks cascading down her back. She truly did look beautiful. 

She smiled his way and he caught himself before she noticed, shaking himself sober from the spell of her as he picked up his car keys up from the side table.

“Right.. we should probably get you to that date..” He sighed turning for the door. “After you sweetheart.” He offered holding the door for her as she giggled. 

And for a minute, he could have sworn his heart stopped as she passed him with a bright smile. “Why thank you, Sir.” She beamed, strolling down the hall towards the elevators.

The journey to the dinner was short and quiet. But the closer Negan got, the more he didn’t want to stop the car. The idea in itself had worked, Blake’s music was in the number one downloads lists, her music was playing on the radio, her album orders were coming in thick and fast. The scheme had paid off with the rise in profits so far.

But the reports and the rumors of quickie marriages, secret pregnancies and infinite photographs of the two of them together was killing Negan. 

The way David held her in the paparazzi shots, the way he forced kisses for the camera. The ridiculous declarations of love he constantly faked on the shows he appeared on.

He was milking this opportunity for all it was worth. Using Blake as a pawn for his desperate claim to fame. And it made him sick to know that he’d been the one that had talked her into it. 

For there was no going back now. They were too far in to give up with no reasonable explanation. There were still weeks leading up the album release and he’d already sighed a contract with the production team. 

As he waved her off, she skipped across the street towards the outdoor seating of the restaurant. The paparazzi already following like vultures, capturing her every move until she reached David. Her well-rehearsed false smile shinning across her features as the sleaze pulled her into a loveless kiss after clocking the cameras.

The sight making Negan’s blood boil the more he pawed all over her. David didn’t care about her, not like he did. He only wanted her for what she could give him, for the press and the attention. 

Negan didn’t know how much longer he could watch this spectacle as it was getting harder and harder to pretend it didn’t bother him. 

To watch her with a man that didn’t give two shits about her. Blake deserved better than that. She deserved a man that treated her right. That cared about her and not just what her status could give him. That took her out just to spend time with her, not just because the world was watching. 

She needed someone who put her and her happiness first. Someone that loved her with no strings attached. Someone that would protect her from the heartless playboys like David...

Someone like him. 

Tag List: @neganandblake @thetruebornwildchild @haleyea @michellevalvona

If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know x

[grapevynerendezvous]

Chocolate Watch Band - No Way Out

Chocolate Watch Band (Watchband) is considered by some to be the ultimate Garage Band. They played early, if not the earliest psychedelic punk music.They had a heavier take on responding to the British Invasion that was in full swing when they formed. In their early stages they were interested in the music of The Who, but it is obvious that they owe a debt to The Rolling Stones, and perhaps were America’s answer to the hard edged blues-rock and swagger of the Stones. Their recordings certainly supported that, and their live performances reflected it as well. As a warm up, and to show their abilities to producer Ed Cobb down in Los Angeles in 1966, the first song they recorded tracks for was Chuck Berry’s Come On. This also happened to be the first song the Stones ever recorded. - As written about by Vladimir Bogdanov, Stephen Thomas Erlewine and Chris Woodstra. The style of music they played has been defined in a number of ways, garage rock, proto-punk, psychedelic, (definitive) psychedelic punk. In the bands’ website History - The Story, it even goes so far as to label their music as “Anglophilic blueswailing”. Music critic Bruce Eder said “they were a unique phenomenon -- based on their recordings, they were a world-class garage punk act, if that's possible, beating the Ramones to the punch by a decade, He further “described the material on the album as "highly potent, slashing, exciting, clever pieces of music”. While I’ve not seen it mentioned I would go so far as to surmise that they may have been influenced by the psychedelic blues-rock offered by The Yardbirds as well. Eder further says “…the album (No Way Out) was largely overlooked at the time of its release and had gone out of print by the early 1970s’, By the early ‘80s I started hearing about the demand for their original albums which eventually spread across the planet. Eder said that around that time their albums “were changing hands for $100 apiece or more.” In later writings I have seen up to $1000 being estimated. I firmly concluded early on that no way would I ever sell my copy of No Way Out.

Before going further it must be noted that the use of Watch Band in their name appeared in two places in particular, the albums No Way Out and inner Mystique. It is apparent in all other ways that the name as created by the band early on is Chocolate Watchband. In no place I’ve researched have I seen a reference or explanation for this. In my opinion it was either an error on the part of label and/or producer, or it was done intentionally. The latter would make some sense since producer Ed Cobb certainly did a lot of rogue tampering when it came to the production of their recordings. There was another band called The Chocolate Watch Band based in London, England. That group released two singles, ironically in 1967, the same year No Way Out was issued. I seriously doubt that the San Jose CA-based CWB was aware of that band. In any case, the name Chocolate Watchband (or CWB) will hereon be used.

When I discovered their album No Way Out in my favorite record store across the road from my high school it must have only been out a short time. I’m not sure I had heard of them, but the album was attractive enough to listen to and I bought it immediately. It’s possible that a friend of mine may have known about them because I found out pretty quickly that they were “local”, since I lived in Palo Alto, in Santa Clara County (aka, in time, Silicone Valley).

The band was originally formed at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills in 1965 by Mark Loomis and Ned Torney. This was prior to my tenure at Foothill, but I have heard they played there many times.  As to how the band name came into being I happened to find this information from Tim Abbott: “The story is that the band was sitting around the Owls Nest up at Foothill College trying to come up with a name for the band. The idea was to find two cool words that sounded good together. Somebody said chocolate and somebody said watch()band and that was it”. Chocolate Watchband eventually dissolved when Torney and the lead singer at the time, Danny Phay, moved over to a band called The Otherside (The Other Side in some examples) followed by another CWB member Jo Kemling. This left Loomis, drummer Gary Andrijasevich and bassist Rick Young with no band. After a foray into The Shandels Mark Loomis decided to resurrect Chocolate Watchband, calling on Andrijasevich once again and pulling Shandel bandmates bassist Bill ‘Flo” Flores and Topsiders guitarist Dave ‘Sean” Tolby into the fold. The final piece was added when Loomis recruited David Aguilar as lead vocalist. Aguilar, who had just become the lead singer in the band The Mourning Reign, explains how it came about:  “…as I moved around the stage at the Brass Rail with a tambourine in one hand and a microphone in the other, I saw two guys with long blond hair, Sean Tolby  and Mark Loomis in the front row of the audience watching me. I didn't think much of it. There was always other band members hanging around checking out the competition. Later that evening, while I was struggling with chemistry homework in my bedroom, my Dad called up the stairs and said there was someone on the phone for me. It was Mark Loomis. He said he was forming a new band called the 'Chocolate Watchband'. Was I interested in joining it? It took almost a nanosecond to decide. "Hell Yes!" "Good" he said. "We meet next Thursday night at 6 PM at my house. Here's my address. " That was all we said to each other. When I drove up four days later, drums and cymbals were being thrown out the front door onto the lawn. I could hear yelling going on inside the house and a woman wailing in her high pitched voice. Out came the last remnant of the old Watchband, a drummer cursing and flipping off some invisible entity inside the house. I was thinking, wow this is one hell of a reception! When I got inside, everything was peaceful. Mark had a broad smile on his face. He was standing in front of his mother whose face was redder then a ripe tomato. All he said to me was, "Well, that's done. Let me show you where we're going to practice.” He led me past the kitchen, through the family room and out into the garage. In those days, the garage was where all good and bad bands ended up. …Mark's garage was awesome. No cars, no crap, just a garage with soundproof walls, carpet remnants on the cement floor and two little neighbor girls ages 11 and 12 with pimples on their chins sitting in lawn chairs with wide grins on their faces. It was time to rock and roll!”

The new line-up made their debut performance in February 1966, quickly becoming one the hottest live acts in the wider Bay Area and beyond. During their brief heyday period in 1966-1967 Chocolate Watch Band played many concerts, including at Fillmore Auditorium, Oakland Coliseum, The Whiskey in L.A,, Coconut Grove in Santa Cruz, and others. The played bills with The Mothers of Invention, Jefferson Airplane, The Grateful Dead and The Doors among others. They also performed at the first rock music festival in the United States, KFRC’s Magic Mountain Festival at Mount Tamalpais in Marin County CA. After the Mothers gig at The Fillmore, Bill Graham wanted CWB to be one of his personal house bands at his new venue, Fillmore East, along. with the Airplane and the Dead. They had just signed a contract to be managed by local promoter Ron Roupe a week before so that did not happen. Roupe went on to secure the record deal with Green Grass Productions which lead to their meeting producers Ed Cobb and Ray Harris, according to Richie Unterberger. By the fall of ’66 they got signed up by Cobb to the Capitol Records’ subsidiary Tower Records. Two singles, Sweet Young Thing  backed by Dylan’s It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue (1966) and Misty Lane backed by She Weaves a Tender Trap (1967) were released and failed to chart to add to the already recorded, but yet to be released, Come On.

During this period the band was featured in two Sam Katzman films released by American International Pictures. The first one, Riot on Sunset Strip, an “exploitation movie par excellence rushed out to theaters in early 1967” which, according to Eder included “a couple of excellent numbers, "Don't Need Your Lovin'" and "Sitting There Standing," and (the band) managed to appear in the movie, which has since become a '60s cult classic.” It was at the height of their musical powers. The next film, The Love-Ins, was released later in July. The band was supposed to have a major role in it, but most of that was cut before release. It is rumored that it was due to some band misbehavior on the set. However their song, Are You Gonna Be There (At the Love-In),” ended up being used in the movie according to Eder. When asked by Amanda Sheppard for her 2018 Article “No Way Out for the Chocolate Watchband!” in PleaseKillMe,  “Is it true that you started a food fight on the back lot of MGM while you guys were filming Riot On The Sunset Strip?” David Aguilar had this to say, “Yes, I may have started a food fight but what can I say…I was a young rocker in a strange land! Important Safety Note: You would think a hamburger has stable aerodynamics when tossed…it doesn’t….probably the pickles are to blame.” I guess the possibility of the band creating havoc on the set was real.

Along about this time Chocolate Watchband was also recording tracks for their first record. What ‘The Story’ on the band’s website history site calls “mysterioso studio trickery on (‘the’) (be)half of producer Ed Cobb” could also apply to other various details about the No Way Out recording project in general. There is no specific information about studio recording dates, exact release date, and what songs actually featured the band. Per one source the recording period was in mid-1967, which would be true, but not very precise. Based on what information there is, four of the tracks on the album actually featured the entire band. According to biographer Bruce Eder only two songs, Come On and Gone and Passes By made it to the album intact. Amanda Sheppard points out that the label, pressuring Ed Cobb to rush production, lead him “to record multiple songs he wrote with the sound engineers, while the band was out on tour”. There are actually two instrumentals written by engineers Richard Podolor and Bill Bennett, plus two more written by studio musician Don Bennett and a co-writer. Don Bennett’s lead vocals were also recorded for at least three of the tracks and ended up on the record rather than David Aguilar’s. This was notedly true concerning what is generally considered  the most popular song, Let’s Talk About Girls. On some tracks entirely different musicians were used in the recordings. The song No Way Out is stated in one source as the only composition by the band, but Ed Cobb credited it to himself, which is what became official. There is even one source according to Eder that says “Frontman Aguilar began writing material for the band, including originals like….”No Way Out….”. He further states that it was “an instrumental spawned from a studio warm-up, with spontaneous Aguilar vocals, that Cobb later took credit for”. In his AllMusic biography of the band Eder says it was “Cobb-authored”. Mysterioso indeed.

Amanda Sheppard writes, “To further complicate matters, Chocolate Watchband’s label, Tower Records, had mistaken the group for a black rhythm and blues band and farmed out their distribution to Uptown Records who sold their albums in Oakland, instead of their top market in San Jose. Uptown even booked the Watchband on soul revues with Jackie Wilson and The Coasters.” In the same article with Sheppard she asked David Aguilar about soul revues: He replied, “We did one soul revue that I can remember. We had just been signed by the Attarack Corporation, we had cut some tracks in Los Angeles and in some bizarre turn of fate, someone at Capitol Records apparently looked at our name and decided what the ‘chocolate’ must indicate in our name, THIS WAS A BLACK ROCK AND ROLL BAND. They assigned us to the Uptown Label, a distributor of black rhythm & blues and 50’s black performers. Chuck Berry was notorious for showing up at a show, playing with a locally hired band, and then getting paid in cash before he left the theater. So, we stepped in and played as his backup band…paying off the theater bouncer to get rid of the original hired band when they showed up to play. It worked! The shows were set in the ‘50’s revue set-up…lots of performers, 3-4 songs, and then the next group came on stage. With Chuck, we did “Johnny B. Goode”, “Little Queenie”, “Sweet Little Sixteen”, and “Roll Over Beethoven”. The Watchband played “I’m a Man”, “Little Red Rooster”, “Better Man Than I”, and “I’m Not Like Everybody Else”, which really fit for that show!”

About the time the album came out Loomis, Andrijasevich and Aguilar had all left the band. It had become clear that Loomis preferred a more melodic style of music and he and Andrijasevich ended up in a folk-rock band for awhile, The Tingle Guild, with early CWB vocalist Danny Phay. Since there was still a heavy performance schedule to fulfill guitarist Tim Abbott, drummer Mark Whittaker and vocalist Chris Flinders (members of the San Francisco Bay Blues Band) joined the remaining Flores and Tolby and the band. While being somewhat different, the band maintained a level of success. Abbott and Flinders left the band before the end of 1967 however, and Aguilar came back briefly, but the band was essentially history by the end of the year.

A memory I have about the No Way Out album involves a party that included primarily members of the high school choir which I was in, and our friends. The party was at the home of one of my choir mates, She and two of her sisters were all friends of mine in high school. I brought along some record albums, amongst them was No Way Out. I put side one on and when the second cut, the bands’ wicked version of Wilson Picketts’ Midnight Hour, came on I suddenly found myself being asked to play it again, and again, and again. There were some people there who just couldn’t get enough of it. I don’t know, maybe it was the weed. No one else seemed to care so I, and a few other people, put it on several times throughout the night. Luckily, other music got played as well.

I recall hearing about a new drummer joining CWB not long after I got the album, and that he had attended my high school. The name was familiar and one day I was walking near my house and I ran into him outside his. He had graduated that year, two years before I did. I decided to ask him and he said that he had joined CWB. It turned out to be brief, but it was cool that I had a neighbor who was in Chocolate Watchband. Around 2010 or 2011 I got to know Gary Andrijasevich and Tim Abbott. Gary lives in Santa Cruz and is still an active percussionist. I met him when I saw him playing with one of the bands he regularly plays with, EXTRA LARGE. He also plays with other bands at times, like my friends Beach Cowboys.

Chocolate Watch Band has been playing off and on since 1999 and after I became publicist at the now-defunct Don Quixote’s in Felton CA I did some research into what they were up to. I discovered that Tim Abbott was now the ongoing guitarist for them. I decided to reach out to him and we communicated about the potential for them playing DQ’s. Eventually they were scheduled to play thanks to my friend DJ Sid Presley, but due to David Aguilars’ acute health issues it was canceled. I later met up with Tim when CWB premiered at San Francisco’s The Chapel in 2015, seeing them once more in 2019 just as they were releasing their newest album, “Sweet Young Thing”. Prior to that I got to see Chocolate Watch Band for the first times twice on the same day in 2002. They played a co-bill with The Electric Prunes presented by the BayPop Festival at The Great American Music Hall in SF. That afternoon both bands played at Amoeba Records in Berkeley. I picked up CWB’s 2000 ‘Get Away’ album written primarily by David Aguilar at Great American that night.

Chocolate Watchband is alive and well, recording singles and making videos real time as I write this, Tim Abbott told me. There is just no way out of it, folks.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chocolate_Watchband

https://www.thechocolatewatchband.com

https://www.thechocolatewatchband.com/history

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/the-chocolate-watchband-mn0000774791/biography

https://pleasekillme.com/chocolate-watchband/

https://rateyourmusic.com/artist/the_chocolate_watchband 

No Way Out full album https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FaO2yDAia8

LP31

[mst3kproject]

402: The Giant Gila Monster

This movie was originally released to drive-ins on a double-feature with The Killer Shrews, both of which were directed by Ray Kellogg.  I've always thought of The Giant Gila Monster as a distant second to its sister in terms of story quality, but it turned out to be kind of a pleasant surprise.  There are ideas and situations in The Giant Gila Monster that really could make for an interesting movie.  It’s just that I don't think that interesting movie would have had any giant lizards in it. It definitely wouldn't have had any songs.

Chase Winstead has a lot on his plate.  Since his father died, he's had to put his dreams of a songwriting career on hold and get a job at the local garage in order to support his mother and disabled sister, as well as his immigrant girlfriend.  With some help from the sheriff he's just about managing to make ends meet.  This careful balance, however, threatens to come crashing down when two of his friends vanish.  Everybody assumes the pair eloped until their car is found in a ravine.  The missing boy's father blames Chase for being a bad influence and the sheriff for not doing his job, and has enough financial and political power in the community to ruin both their lives if they can't find out what happened and prove it wasn't their fault.

Pay close attention: I just wrote a plot summary of The Giant Gila Monster, and made it sound like an interesting movie, without mentioning the title creature even once.

That's the weirdest thing about this movie.  The audience shouldn't watch a film called The Giant Gila Monster and sit there wondering why the hell it actually has a giant gila monster in it – yet here we are.  The mystery of the missing kids and its potential consequences isn't a bad thing to hang a movie on.  Nor is the symbiotic but slightly dishonest relationship between Chase and his surrogate father figure.  We mostly like these people and are willing to follow their story – but then that damn theremin starts up and we remember oh, yeah, there's a giant lizard in this movie. It's always weird and startling, and never feels like it belongs there.

This is at least in part because the lizard literally isn't in the same movie as everything else that's happening.  It never interacts with a character on screen, because of course it isn't actually a giant lizard and the effects budget would only cover one model train (which in no way matches the actual train we're shown), a few matchbox cars, and a fake lizard paw to swing at the camera.  The only even slightly impressive shot is when they do a fairly good job of making it look like car headlights are closing on the creature... and did they actually blow up a lizard at the end? What the fuck?!

The rest of the time, the gila monster appears in close-ups and among scale-less desert and vegetation.  We never really get an idea how big it is.  This looks pretty stupid and in order to avoid dwelling on it, they had to come up with something to fill the rest of the movie.  We therefore get this story about Chase and the sheriff, but so much more time is devoted to this than what the movie purports to be about that we keep forgetting the lizard exists.  And quite honestly, if the two missing kids had gotten in an ordinary accident or fallen prey to a serial killer or even just eloped like everybody thought they had, most of this movie would be exactly the same.

Chase is a little too all-around nice to really be believable – his little sister, with her leg braces, is obviously designed to pull at our heart strings, as the bots snifflingly observed.  He's supposed to be no older than nineteen (the age of the kids who went missing) but Don Sullivan, though baby-faced, was thirty when the movie was made.  He doesn't really come across as a kid forced to grow up too quickly, but he's not all that bad when he's not singing.  The character’s one notable imperfection is that he seems to have no qualms about the mild theft the sheriff helps him commit in order to spruce up his car.

In a movie like this we would normally expect the sheriff to be a stock lazy bum who avoids any real responsibility, like in Don't go in the Woods or The Giant Spider Invasion, but the sheriff of The Giant Gila Monster seems to take his job fairly seriously.  He is frustrated by his lack of resources, and really wants to find the missing kids – and rather than dismissing the young people in town as a bunch of hooligans, he listens to them and enlists their help in finding people who are, after all, their peers.  The sheriff's relationship with Chase is somewhat fatherly, but the two also interact as equals, experts in their respective fields: one in law enforcement, the other in car repair.  In a time when a lot of movies depicted teenagers as rebels and criminals (examples from MST3K alone are numerous), this is quite refreshing. The sheriff understands that the kids' hangouts and races are just harmless fun, rather than over-reacting.

The human villain in such a movie could also be an absolute caricature but the missing boy's father, Mr. Wheeler, is portrayed pretty fairly, too.  He's grieving and needs to blame somebody for what happened.  When he demands that Chase be arrested, he's not being a jerk for no reason: he's uncovered the small acts of theft Chase has been committing, and has a fairly reasonable complaint about the found car being moved before it could be investigated.  In fact, he's so believable that his sudden about-face at the end when he 'learns his lesson' seems far too pat, even with a monster to shock some 'sense' into him.

The lizard makes a terrible movie monster, anyway.  It's a very slow creature, and its bulky body and stark colouration make it absurd to think that nobody notices this thing or evidence of its passage.  The way it moves, dragging its belly along the ground with obvious effort, does make it feel like a larger animal than it is, but in a race between it and the Creeping Terror, I'm not sure who would lose.  The travelling salesman should have been able to run away from this thing, no problem!  The movie also offers us two conflicting explanations for where the damn thing came from: the voiceover narration at the beginning claims that reptiles grow for their entire lives and there's no telling how big they can get (this is true of some species, but not the gila monster), while the actual narrative suggests pollutants in the water are responsible.  One explanation for a monster is fine – two is confusing.  It would almost be better not to explain it at all.

The gila monster is the third-worst thing in the movie.  The second-worst is the direction.  Ray Kellogg was hired to do the special effects and was apparently allowed to direct as well because it was cheaper than paying for an actual director.  He's terrible at it.  The only time the choice of shot actually says anything is a brief attempt at a gila monster POV while Chase and his girlfriend explore a ravine, but the gila monster can't possibly be where the camera implies it is, or they would have seen it.  Other than that, Kellogg simply points the camera at the actors and films.

Tom Servo noticed and commented on the preponderance of raised knees but the lack of blocking goes even further than that.  There are so many scenes that consist of nothing more that characters standing around talking about things.  The only person who really makes any use of gestures is the actor playing the Lovable Town Drunk™.  The entire dance scene is filmed from a single camera watching the entire room, so all we see is a vaguely bouncing crowd of bodies.  Blocking can help to establish character and make scenes more interesting to watch or disguise visual problems with the production: the Back to the Future movies kept Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd moving towards and away from the camera in their scenes together. This emphasized Doc Brown's frenetic personality and helped avoid the compositional problems inherent in the nine-inch height difference between the two actors.  In The Giant Gila Monster, everybody just stands there.

So if the gila monster is number three and the boring direction number two, what is the first worst thing in the movie?  I bet you've already guessed it.  It's the god-damned Sad Mushroom Ukelele Anthem.

(Yeah, so it's actually a banjo.  I don't know what a miniature banjo is called and I refuse to let the question be a permanent part of my Google history.)

When we first hear Chase singing one of his own songs, it's She Rocks Whenever She Walks, which is honestly pretty catchy.  Some of the rhymes are clever and I'd rather like to hear it with a band behind it.  In fact I was somewhat disappointed when I googled it and learned that it isn't a real song that was ever recorded.  When the DJ plays Chase's first record at the dance, I expected She Rocks Whenever She Walks to be the song Chase would then perform live. But no, instead we got The Sad Mushroom Ukelele Anthem.  It's a nonsensical, folksy, vaguely Christian bit of musical toenail fungus that crawls inside your brain and leaves you writhing and screaming on the floor as the Lord says laugh, children, laugh, the Lord says laugh, children, laugh...

MST3K featured a lot of really terrible music.  There's Arch Hall Jr, California Lady, Pig Licker, and what I suspect to be the entire first and only album released by the Del-Aires. You've got to be really bad to outdo all of that, but The Sad Mushroom Ukelele Anthem manages it.  The stupid monster didn't quite kill this movie for me, but Jesus... that song sure did.

[thistownneedsguns]

TTNG Interview // Birthday Cake For Breakfast

I’m stood backstage at ArcTanGent Festival with math-rock heroes TTNG and – first question in – rather than using words to express his feelings following their performance on Thursday evening, drummer Chris Collis highlights the Birthday Cake For Breakfast smiling dog (above) as a visual representation. Vocalist and bassist Henry Tremain and guitarist Tim Collis erupt in laughter, Tim adding further explanation. “For the listener – Picture is dog with Birthday Cake, looking gleeful.”

Having had time to adjust (with Henry suggesting that TTNG would be the dog in the situation, the cake being the audience), Tim reflects further on their performance – commenting at one point that it was likely their best ArcTanGent set to date. “No, it was great. Really great to play in the UK again, ‘cus I guess it’s been a while.” He says. “Yesterday’s response was fucking incredible, like seriously.” Adds Henry. “One of the new songs we have this quiet build up and everyone was clapping along. It was pretty amazing.”

It’s fair to say that ArcTanGent is becoming a regular entry in the social calendars of those with a penchant for math/post/alt-rock and everything in-between. Growing in size year upon year, the organisers outdo themselves when curating incredible line-ups every time. TTNG have become a staple of the festival, having appeared at three of its four outings, matching the likes of And So I Watch You From Afar and Maybeshewill. “We had a break, caught our breath and then we came back to eat some more audience members.” Laughs Henry.

Much like TTNG are becoming a regular fixture of ArcTanGent, so too is the inevitability that the weather will be foul. This year’s festival featured particularly outrageous weather. Almost at Monsoon levels, Fernhill Farm gave Manchester a run for its money with the amount of downpour. It almost made watching bands and drinking beer unbearable… “It’s getting wetter and wetter each time.” Nods Tim.

The spirit of the attendees is always high, mind, and tents are always suitably rammed whatever the weather. Though the main stage has a slight ‘open-air’ issue, as many found out whilst watching Russian Circles a while back. “The first one was awesome, then the second was crazy wet…” Adds Henry. “I remember seeing Russian Circles and getting totally drenched.”

Prior to their return to UK soil and triumphant showing at ArcTanGent, TTNG had been stateside on a run of North American dates throughout August and July with the likes of Lite, Mylets and GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! A mammoth journey through America, made even sweeter with a number of dates across the run selling out. The secret? “Well we actually have a fan base over there…” Says Henry with a laugh. “It was a good tour, the sales were a lot better than we were expecting – the pre-sales beforehand had us kind of worried. We were feeling like that’s gonna be our last trip out to the states, but it actually went completely in the other direction.”

Sargent House mainstay and running mate of both And So I Watch You From Afar and TTNG (as discussed recently with the former in this interview), Henry Kohen a.k.a. Mylets was along for the ride during their stay in America. There’s an obvious bond between both bands and Henry, the younger Kohen popping up regularly on their various social media accounts whenever they’re in the US. It’s almost as if both bands have taken him under their collective wings, though TTNG jest that it’s likely the other way round. “I think he’s pretty much an integral cog in our machine.” Say Tim of Henry. “He’s awesome to have on tour. He has a multi-functioning role on tour, so he TM’s and drives, plays and techs. It’d be really difficult to do it without him actually. He’s awesome and his music’s great so it’s always cool to play with him.” “He writes these amazing compositions on the fly in the van…” Adds Henry with a laugh.

This is again another period of the interview which would benefit from video evidence or similar, with the trio sharing a laugh reminiscing about the songwriting talents of both Henry’s through the use of a music memo app on an iphone, allowing them to write such improvised van hits as ‘Mummy’ and its sequel ‘Daddy’. A suggested special improvised song for Birthday Cake For Breakfast using said app sadly never materialises.

Away from improvised van recordings, the North American Tour coincided with the release of the band’s third studio album, ‘Disappointment Island’. Recorded live to tape over a ten day period, the trio got together at the infamous Electrical Audio studios in Chicago with Greg Norman, before it was mastered by Bob Weston of Shellac. It was actually in America where TTNG got to shape the eventual album, during a tour with The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die and Foxing. Though the album itself had some uncertainty in the lead up to its completion, as Tim explains. “I think it was good to get it done, for sure. I think there was a time before that we weren’t sure that it was gonna happen. It was kinda pressured to do it like that…” He says. “We kinda just went for it – it’s gotta be done by that time, so… It was helpful to have that.”

“We had kind of finished writing just before the tour and then we used the tour to rehearse the material, get it tour ready so that by the time we were in the studio, we’d kinda ironed out all the kinks and actually learned how to play the songs well enough, with enough energy.” Says Henry. “I think throwing them out in front of an audience is the exact environment where the pressure’s on where you have to get better and play them… I’m sure it led to some right stinkers during some of those shows, but it helped the album.” He laughs. “Possibly another reason why we didn’t think anyone would show up for this tour – hey, here’s the new stuff and it’s all terrible.” Adds Chris with a smirk. “But no, it was a good method. Psychologically I personally felt actually ready to be in the studio, wherein other times it’s just chaos and being really anxious. Sort of knowing that – ok, in theory this is ready, I can play this – was a huge benefit going into the studio.”

Cramming everything into these ten day sessions clearly proved fruitful, though potentially took years off lifetimes, as the mention of their experience in the studio is greeted by a slight sense of dread between the three-piece. Flashbacks of the whip being cracked visible in their eyes. “Stressful.” Confirms Chris when approached on the subject. “I found it stressful.” “I found it incredibly stressful throughout, because the last thing to happen is the vocals.” Adds Henry. “That, for me, is a massive stress. The bit that I really enjoy, which is playing the music bit, was really enjoyable, but there was still this high pitched violin string running in the back of my mind. I was still tense throughout. But, having said that, Electrical Audio where we recorded it is the best place. I absolutely love that place, it just feels like home. Greg, who’s our engineer, is one of the best humans ever. Made us feel totally at home and he’s just funny as fuck. I was having a really bad time doing the vocals, but he’d always manage to say something down the headphones that would put shit in perspective and make me feel good again.”

“Get your head together!” Says Tim with a laugh, before summing up his own experience. “It’s kinda nice as well, because it was a fairly long tour before that, so it wasn’t a very sterile studio at all. It would’ve been weird going to that sort of place after quite a stressful tour. It was really homely, so it was kind of a really cool place to chill out – for the most part. I know I had an easy job, I only had to do one thing, so I had a pretty good time.” “I felt kind of bad at the end of the session, I felt like I was moving out of home.” Adds Henry with a laugh. “It’s got a really nice, homely vibe to it so it’s very relaxing.” Agrees Chris. “Which is good obviously, when you’re in a somewhat pressured environment or situation, I should say.”

Disappointment Island marks the first TTNG album recorded as a three-piece. Following the departure of lead singer and guitar player Stuart Smith and bass player Jamie Cooper over the years, the band transformed and Henry, Tim and Chris carried on as a trio. “It’ll be the last” Comments Chris with a laugh when we discuss the album being put together as a trio. “No, it was great. We’ve been a three-piece for a long time, but obviously trying to play that first album that had four people on it was difficult. So this was great.”

With more room to breath, this allowed for more experimentation, including a new instrument busted out by Henry (though sadly not a ‘Daxaphone’, much to the chagrin of everyone in the band). “Yeah dude, check out the Daxophone. It’s a real instrument.” Laughs Henry. “But yeah, I built this six-string bass baritone guitar that I play, and it was nice to actually – instead of using it to play the space between guitar parts and bass parts – to actually write for that instrument. It was super fun.”

Teasers for Disappointment Island began showing up online in early May in the form of picturesque little vignettes, accompanied by the outline of an island and coordinates. Brilliantly, Fecking Bahamas not only kept track of each individual video but looked up the coordinates online and pipped TTNG to the post regarding the album name (as did a fair few other not-so-lazy fans). The title itself goes back a number of years, with Google acting as inspiration. Much like the artwork that adorns its cover, Disappointment Island was something the trio were unable to forget. “I’ve always wanted to visit.” Confesses Tim with a laugh. “As soon as you find a place like that, there’s so much mystery behind that name.” Adds Henry. “I found it on google earth probably about six/seven years ago, by chance ‘cus I was working as a graphic designer in a print company. We had a slow period, so I would just fly around the planet, checking out Tokyo’s rail networks and then just checking out how big the Pacific Ocean is…” “Turns out it’s pretty big.” Smirks Tim.

As anyone with access to YouTube, Google Earth or countless time-wasting platforms will attest, it’s relatively simple to become obsessed in pointless searches and get lost down a rabbit hole. This became Henry and his virtual flights across the globe, becoming obsessed with minuscule landmasses in the middle of the abyss. It was one such search that resulted in the discovery of ‘Disappointment Island’. “We’ve kind of been joking about it for a while. After the session we recorded with Greg, we went out for some drinks. Tim suggested it jokingly as a title and then it’s like – that’s hilarious, no wait it’s actually kind of perfect. The more we thought about it, the more it made sense.” “It all ties in with quite a few things.” Adds Tim. “I guess Henry can back this up, but perhaps lyrically on some of the topics and subjects he’s writing about. It’s pretty neat really, which is the total opposite of the previous album, which was just random chaos but seemed to also work out.” He laughs.

Similarly, the aforementioned striking artwork for Disappointment Island was practically found out of various fruitless google image searches, trawling through the internet in search of inspiration. The intricate, slightly oddball work of Ukrainian artist and illustrator Irena Zablotska came as love at first sight for the trio, with Henry commenting that the decision was made as soon as they’d caught sight of her work. “She’s incredibly talented.” He says. “There’s some amazing character to the work that she does. We went through and we found that illustration and thought it was perfect for what we wanted.“

At the time of writing, TTNG have finished off their year with a trip to Japan to play with Lite – the cherry on top of a monumental 2016. Their current line-up is stronger than ever, with the trio highlighting this through Disappointment Island. Throughout the interview, the Collis siblings and Henry are joyful, taking the piss and are clearly a tight-knit group. All is going swimmingly then? “We all put on brave faces for these kind of interviews…” Jokes Chris as the others laugh. “Things are going really well. We wanna write some new music I think.” “I’m saving up for a Daxophone.” Grins Henry.

(via Birthday Cake For Breakfast)

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

The above photo showcases a stained glass window that was photographed for the cover of The Beach Boys’ late 1967 release WILD HONEY.

WILD HONEY, turning 50 tomorrow, is my personal favorite Beach Boys album.

Not the best album they’ve done. I believe that honor, as cliche as this may sound, belongs to PET SOUNDS. In second place would be 1970′s SUNFLOWER, a real group effort. That also is pretty cliche, as SUNFLOWER is often considered to be the best post-PET SOUNDS Beach Boys album. Then after those two, it would be a near-tie between 1965′s THE BEACH BOYS TODAY! (the album that arguably thrust the band into their golden period) and this gem.

WILD HONEY was a rather hastily whipped-up album. 1967 wasn’t a fruitful year for the brothers Wilson, Mike Love, Al Jardine, and Bruce Johnston. Brian Wilson, amidst mental health issues and several other problems, put a halt to his opus-in-the-making SMiLE around the springtime. One of SMiLE’s biggest components, the epic ‘Heroes and Villains,’ was reworked into a 3 1/2-minute single that was released in July to moderate sales and mixed reception. This particular miss affected Brian, still feeling he had to match or top The Beatles, deeply...

Another big blow occurred that same summer, when the band at last minute pulled out of the legendary Monterey Pop Festival. Overnight, The Beach Boys went from respected band to relic. ‘Good Vibrations,’ a #1 hit single in October of 1966, was the end. SMILEY SMILE, released in SMiLE’s place in September, polarized listeners. Old time fans who were expecting surfing and hot rod songs must’ve been shocked, the hip crowd wrote it off as outdated surfer garbage, and fans - aware of what SMiLE was going to be - were very disappointed. Instead of a complex LP full of layered pocket symphonies, they got strange, very druggy, stripped down reinventions of SMiLE material.

The image problem was exacerbated. A review of WILD HONEY in Rolling Stone magazine made it clear that Brian Wilson was no pop genius, that he was “overrated” and just another tossaway Beatle wannabe. By the end of 1967, it was not cool to like The Beach Boys. Americans dropped them faster than a moldy sandwich... Just a year after ‘Good Vibrations’ shot to #1 on the Billboard chart...

Brian deliberately left the “race” he was in with John Lennon and Paul McCartney. SMILEY SMILE was a retreat, but he was on to something. SMILEY SMILE was The Beach Boys going raw, minimalist... Long before the “cool” and “hip” Bob Dylan did it with JOHN WESLEY HARDING, before The Beatles did it with their self-titled album, before The Rolling Stones ditched psychedelia for hard-driving blues-based rock... Brian was already two steps ahead.

The band at one point intended to release a live album next. After a series of August concerts went over poorly in Hawaii, they then decided to “make” a live album in the studio. Very raw versions of their hits were recorded at the Wally Heider studio, along with covers of contemporary songs... They planned to add some canned audience sounds, and release the set as LEI’D IN HAWAII. It did not happen. For obvious reasons...

Instead of pulling something like that, the band decided to get to work on a new studio album later in September. Like SMILEY SMILE before it, the music wouldn’t be an attempt to be the greatest. No more SMiLE-like ambitions, no more tries at keeping up with The Beatles and everyone else... The result was WILD HONEY.

It’s a bit hard for me to describe what makes WILD HONEY so great. The album runs less than 25 minutes long, each of its 11 tracks are shorter than 3 minutes, and the tone throughout is mostly energetic. Each track breezes by, all of them just the right length. As straightforward as one can get with a Beach Boys album, just rock ‘n’ roll... Yet this simple record blends in R&B and soul influences, with a dash of subtle psychedelia. 1967 was a year of eclectic albums and many diverse sounds, WILD HONEY sounds unlike anything released in 1967... That says *a lot*.

Not psychedelic in the San Francisco sense, or even the New York sense. No mindboggling, hazy-sounding numbers or swirling head-spinners. WILD HONEY mixes all of its ideas in a way that’s barely been imitated years later. The simplistic rock beat, the soulful brass, the use of theremin, the organ, the barroom piano... While the Beach Boys’ vocal harmonies aren’t quite front-and-center here, they unify what we’re hearing and create a unique psychedelic sound. It’s one of a kind...

The songs themselves? Some love ditties, a few with a real sexy drive to them, intimate songs about the country air, a party rocker about how she boogalooed it, and even a little fragment reminder of SMiLE. It doesn’t seem groundbreaking on the surface, but actually hearing, it produces an optimistic feeling like no other. Something’s quite airy about it, everything feels right after it’s over. For some reason, the last few minutes or so of this gem felt like a dud. ‘How She Boogalooed It,’ I felt, was out of place on the album, and ‘Mama Says’ was a pleasant but ultimately unnecessary ending. Where were the outtakes ‘Lonely Days’ and ‘Time To Get Alone’?

In the recent months, I’m finding myself loving these final three minutes of the LP. ‘How She Boogalooed It’ is almost like the fun goodbye breather, after the ethereal beauty of ‘Let The Wind Blow.’ The fun send-off, and then a treat - ‘Mama Says.’ Just the silly “eat a lot, sleep a lot” chant that was originally going to be on the SMiLE track ‘Vega-Tables.’

Perhaps it was the all-new stereo mix of WILD HONEY that helped me appreciate this climax, and also many other things I had never heard before. WILD HONEY, for whatever reason, was given a very dodgy mono mix back when it was first released. The songs, despite their qualities, sounded muddy and underproduced. Released earlier this year, the archival set 1967 - SUNSHINE TOMORROW, contained WILD HONEY in fully-remastered stereo. Let me tell you, this mix uncovers all the little nuances in the music that were buried in all the previous versions... Hearing them in this form, they sound very timely, very 1967 yet still ahead of where the music scene was back then. Brian’s very much hard at work here, contrary to the popular story that Brian resigned from production altogether after the collapse of SMiLE.

While SMiLE-like ambitions aren’t to be found here, the new mixes reveal that these songs were indeed layered and carefully thought-out. It says a lot when a new mix of something makes you love something you already have loved for years in a whole new way.

SUNSHINE TOMORROW packed the goods... Some WILD HONEY session materials, the *entire* master tape of LEI’D IN HAWAII, some SMILEY SMILE outtakes, little odds & ends, and some live tracks. It was an excellent set through-and-through. Hearing the few “work-in-progress” sessions pieces of the WILD HONEY songs were a revelation, and it was great to finally hear formerly-rare tracks that were never even bootlegged. Things like ‘Honey Get Home’ and the like. The LEI’D IN HAWAII material initially left me puzzled, but on subsequent listens, I find great joy in these quieter “live” versions of the classics. Even without the production wizardry and resources, The Beach Boys are The Beach Boys. They *had* it.

Little did I know that The Beach Boys enterprise released *two* digital-only sequels to this collection, the first of which I picked up the other day: SUNSHINE TOMORROW 2 - THE STUDIO SESSIONS.

You want deep? This collection dives *deep*. Like, trench deep, into the WILD HONEY sessions, throwing in plenty of SMILEY SMILE and LEI’D IN HAWAII stuff as well. The other collection is called LIVE SUNSHINE, and it’s going for about $50. I’ll scoop that up some other time, I’m more interested in studio material... Both of these collections completely delivered. Hearing even more of the little nuances that you couldn’t get off of the original WILD HONEY mix, wonderful! (Pun intended.) A cappella versions of some of the songs? So cool. Some of the unfinished LEI’D IN HAWAII stuff rules, too, such as a backing track of ‘Barbara Ann’ that suggested that The Beach Boys in that state could really *rock*. An outtake called ‘L Tune’ double-confirms that.

I would’ve never imagined, 5-6 years ago, that archive sets would even be considered for the SMILEY/HONEY period of The Beach Boys.

The Beach Boys have done excellent archival sets before. 1993′s GOOD VIBRATIONS: THIRTY YEARS OF THE BEACH BOYS had a whole disc of SMiLE material along with plenty of outtakes, alt. mixes, and live tracks. THE PET SOUNDS SESSIONS needed no explanation, 2001′s HAWTHORNE, CA contained some great rarities. In 2011, they got back on the game with THE SMILE SESSIONS, following that up with plenty of live albums... Then in 2015 came BEACH BOYS’ PARTY! UNCOVERED AND UNPLUGGED, a gargantuan set dedicated to what is and has been a very divisive Beach Boys record... But one that revealed that there was something unique under the surface, one more.

With that set out, I wondered... Will they do a SMILEY/HONEY set in 2017? They did... And boy, did they...

Now I’m hoping next year, we get a set with all the FRIENDS and 20/20 sessions and everything else recorded around that time period. And you can bet your bippy that I’m *craving* a complete SUNFLOWER sessions archive set that collects *everything* recorded from January 1969 to July 1970!