#and public transport might kinda suck

[cardinalbe]

I've been reviewing some of my pictures and I gotta say... well, for one, I am terrible at taking pictures. But! Secondly, Spandau Zitadel really is a hidden gem. It's like seven museums, an archaeology site, and a sick castle-fort all in one place! And it definitely takes more than a couple hours to work through so maybe don't wait until like 15:00 to arrive...

[saline-coelacanth]

I hate driving so much it scares me so much this is why it took me so long to learn how to drive I wanna cry and I'm not even in the vehicle yet

[sheltoner]

tiny rant or smth ig not tennis related

ok it’s just kinda strange for me rn bc my uncle married an austrian woman (that’s how i have my austrian cousin bc she already had a kid) and my step grandma is also austrian and she might be a little norwegian too (idk i don’t know her family history so well) so i have a lot of people in my family who really like europe

but it’s just kinda weird for me bc they’ll (they as in my now aunt and cousin mostly) talk abt how there are things that are a lot better in europe like public transportation and health care and stuff and obviously i’m happy abt the fact that they have that stuff and i really wish that the USA could take some cues from that, but sometimes the way they talk abt things in the USA just kinda feels like they’re talking down to us

like i know that they are definitely not trying to talk down to us i know that they are very kind people but to me it just feels like… i know things suck here i know that there are so many issues that the USA is really terrible on, but they don’t live here, like me and my parents actually have to deal with this stuff on a daily basis (money wise we’re fine i guess but we’re a family of artists we don’t make much)

so it just kind of feels like they just feel sorry for us and idk, it makes me feel rly bad

and also sometimes it feels like they are saying this good stuff only exists in europe and my parents (especially my dad) made sure to teach me that there are many great places outside of europe so sometimes that just feels kinda icky

[effervescentdragon]

Hi bestie, for ur sleepover I have some sleepover gossip for you! I met a guy 😭 he’s so cute 😭😭😭 I really like him but he lives like two hours away from me 🥲 I said going into this dating business that I didn’t want a long distance relationship but… it barely counts bc we’re on the same island! And I really really like him 😌😌😌 help also I’m not normally the type who is easily emotionally attached to people romantically but. I’ve spoken to him for a handful of days and I’m SWOONING what is this 😭😭😭😭 (like I’m serious I thought I might be aro for a while!)

oooooh that is soooooo good to hear omg im so glad for you, that you like someone that much! i think its a good thing in general, to know youre able to feel that way, it tells you sth about yourself first and foremost. now, i'm obligated to tell you the same thing i tell all my friends - so long as you enjoy it, go for it/go with it! life's too precious to cut ourselves from joy (says she, like the biggest hypocrite ever). also, v important question: 2hrs by public transport, 2hrs by like a bus or a train, or 2hrs by car? bcs those are kinda different distances.. my motto is, where there's will, theres a way (i was in a long distance relationship but that was the part that sucked the least if im honest, tho it did suck). so long as you both like each other, talk about it i guess? i miss feeling in love/infatuated tbh it sound super wonderful 🥹❤️

[youjustwaitsunshine]

tagged by @hurricanewindattack, tysm!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not in a direct way, i think my mom heard my name in some french arthouse film and thought it was neat

2. When was the last time you cried?

i think last time was when i was rereading this is how you lose the time war. gets me every time.

3. Do you have kids?

nope. kids are great but i have no desire to put any into this world myself

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I used to, but ive kinda progressed to making bad puns for now (shamefully have to admit that i still revert back to the bitchy sarcasm of my bitchy teenage years when i fight with my mom)

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Right now I'm not doing much but i love some rock climbing and would love to do pole dancing. I did 10 years of ballet class which i sucked at but at least im still quite flexible so it's nice for climbing, and i have like a tutor certificate for volleyball

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Haircut and voice/other sound volume (do they walk quietly, put things down noisily etc etc)

7. What's your eye colour?

greyish blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Not scary movies necessarily but i like a good ambiguous ending.

9. Any special talents?

I can pull off wearing some really terrible garish clothes? oh also i intimidate gross men on public transport enough that my friends feel safe around me and im rarely nervous about being on the train alone at any time

10. Where were you born?

Germany!

11. What are your hobbies?

dabbling in any creative thing i can get my hands on (sculpting, etching, lino, painting/drawing both digital and traditional with paint and ink and marker any anything in between, general crafting, bookbinding, writing if the mood strikes, sewing,-) (might try glass blowing over the summer), some mechanic work (my boyfriends grandpa has this 1950s classic car we want to restore as a long term project), hiking with my friends, just generally hanging out with my friends watching movies and all that, dabbling in analog photography

12. Do you have any pets?

Not where I live right now but our cat willie still lives at my moms place

13. How tall are you?

1.77m (is that 5'9? 5'8?)

14. Favourite subject?

Well, at school probably art or this one elective we had that was like. geometry? but the fun kind where you construct bodies and ellipses.

15. Dream job?

since I am studying restoration/conservation something in that direction! we all know it's not gonna bring in big money in any position, if you're self employed or work for someone else but i think I'd like to be in a museum or big library with manuscripts. Ideally id like to win the lottery and only do restoration work if i feel like it and chill in a small house thats fully paid off but hehe. fun dream.

idk who to tag but if you want to do it and aren't tagged, go ahead and say i tagged you!

[professionallydeadinside]

Thinking more about human good omens and. I think i figured a bit out. So like yknow the whole plot where Beelzebub was dating Gabriel but then he vanished and then they meet Jim, his brother he never told them about and then kinda accidentally dates Jim because they think it’s just a really weird Gabriel (jim goes along with it because he thinks Beelzebub is being nice and has absolutely no understanding of social anything and thinks the hand holding and romantic gestures are just them being such a good friend!!) and anyway i think i figured the family dynamic and might write something of it.

Gabriel and Jim are brothers who are not related to Aziraphale or Crowley at all but when they were teens Jim got a job at the bookshop and just kinda. Got adopted. Crowleys a bit mean to him sometimes but in a way where he doesn’t know how to show affection very well and they do have nice moments. Jim lives in one of the rooms above the shop because Aziraphale unfortunately grew fond of the constant company and they’re a little nervous he’s too naïve and might be taken advantage of. They hate Gabriel and he hates them.

Muriel is of course a little fellow they also adopted because look at them Aziraphale. Look at them. We have to keep them. Muriel gets adopted pretty young and Crowley adores them.

Warlock meets Crowley when he’s his nanny and when mr and mrs dowling mysteriously disappear and croak, Crowley takes in Warlock after receiving a very distressed phone call.

Adam is still raised by the Youngs and he loves his parents so much and they love him but he’s basically got a second home at the bookshop for how often he’s there. (Tadfield isn’t really a town in England, and was filmed in Hambleden, and from Soho to Hambleden is a three hour bike ride so he could stay the weekend. It’s even shorter if he drives or uses public transportation). I might have a reason for him and the Them being there a lot but i also might follow sitcom rules where he’s just. There.

Anyway Aziraphale still leaves Crowley but this time they have kids and he abandons them too (gross oversimplification of what happened in the show but you saw it you get what i mean) and they all stay with Crowley in the divorce and the story would largely be Crowley learning to live without Aziraphale and run the shop himself and realising that he’s still loved and has more love to give. That this sucks but by someone he’s strong enough to keep going, even if just to see his kids smile.

Sandman characters show up too as little cameos, and there’ll be some discworld allusions because that was so fun to read.

Then Aziraphale shows up with a baby named Jesús who’s a bit too sweet and kind to be fully human, if you ask Crowley.

Okay Silas I love this so much and I love Aziraphale just adopting people but you killing off the Dowlings is very funny wkakkdmdms

[barbieslayer08]

Thought I had a handle on life. But like always when things start going to well, the rug got pulled out from under me. It's my own fault. I know it is. I've always managed to fuck up every thing in my life with out fail. Idk why i do it to myself. Probably something a therapist could figure out. But I'm broke as a joke. And now I don't even have a car. No we don't have public transportation either. Taxis are outrageous. $65 to go 3 miles. So now I have 16 hours to find a new car for less then $1000. Or miss the next 2 days of work and have about $1400. But I might lose my job, but I have a chance at a better paying job, but I really, really like my job where I'm at. But I don't really have Lot of time to spend with my son. I don't have enough time to most days. Only 30 mins 4 days a week and all day Friday and Saturday and all morning Sunday and then he either sees him dad or is at the baby sitter. But I get off work at off hours and he gets off work the same time so he picks him up from the sitter and sleeps at night at his house. And I get up and was working myday job doordashing when I can, or running errands. He goes to school in the afternoon. He's only 3. But he goes for 3 hours. I would always pick him up from school. I work at 4. That's all I get. I miss him most days. I just bought a bigger bed so we can both fit and snuggle if he has a bad dream. Kinda hard to snuggle on a twin. But hey! We have our own place! It's a 2 bedroom in section 8. But the neighbors are quiet. And I can walk through every inch of this place and honestly say all of its mine. Not a single stick of furniture belongs to anyone but me. Even the very small amount of decorations. But I hand picked every single one I do have. Even made a few! Sorry this really started with me feeling really lonely. Now I know that it doesn't matter. Either I get a car tomorrow and I keep my job, or I lose it and get better options but it'll mean alot more work. I'd say I'll have the self discipline to keep the new job. Sorry again. Think kinda turned into a life dump. I cried 3 times while typing this. Sorry if anything is miss spelled. If I go back and to read this I'll just end up erasing it instead. But I kinda want thins to just exist somewhere other then just on my heart. And if I trie to talk to my friends about this then just kinda brush it off like ya that sucks, here's a story about something way worse that happened in my life that's gonna make u feel really stupid for being upset about this shit. And I know they don't mean to make me feel that way but it's still happens. And I don't trust therapists. I don't trust anyone who could forcibly make me have a grippy sock vacation but I don't want one. I can't. If I stop for any reason right now it would set me so far back idk if I could make it back. I forced my way up the mountain to where I am now, and I can't alow myself to slide back. Not again. I have to control my adhd. I have to. I can't keep allowing myself to fuck up good thing, and valling victim to bad choices. I need a damn saying. Something that reminds me to keep my shit together. I'd get it tattooed on my arm first chance I could afford it.

I feel better now. I know this will never be read by anyone. I know that. But that's ok. I just wanted to feel like I finally told someone. And for just once that didn't stop half way through to tell me a much sadder story and that they know how I feel. No they don't. They never do. But hey thanks for listening. Thank you for just listening. I feel pretty numb now so I'm going to bed now. Maybe the world will be better tomorrow. Maybe it won't. Can't wait to find out if it's going to be a step up or 6 steps back with a muddy uphill climb in the rain.

#adventuresofdepression #lifedump

#ifeelbetternow #feelfreetodothesame

[strooples]

Slice-of-life stories

SOL stories or other genres (but with elements of SOL/a SOL feel at times) tend to be my favorite thing to experiment with when coming up with a lot of my stories. Whether they’re upbeat or depressive, more adventurous or more day-to-day realism etc.

So I thought about some of the story ideas I have plans to make one day or just like to think up! I have basically a billion different story ideas and more OC’s than I could count (IDK if I’ll ever post/talk about them here one day?? might have to do something separate there). Some of which have been planned for years — though never written down.

Off the top of my head we have:

A small story revolving around 3 young adult friends who live together in the top floors of a flower shop. The shop is located in the city center of a big city, where usage of public transport is common. The main character being a girl named Juniper, who gets taken in by 2 roommate friends named Pandora (whose family owns the flower shop) and Ainsley when Juniper’s family kicks her out. The story is just a series of the 3 helping Juniper navigate her first few years as an adult, Juniper playing catch up from not being able to learn how to do a lot of things under her parents’ care, as they all explore the city together.

A comic I have in one of my old sketchbooks from 2019 about a girl who does art but is the struggling-to-stay-motivated type (LOL, I guess this is relatable) and works at a sandwich shop. Basically just some small tidbits of her trying to find her place in the world as she introspects through her job, place in the world, future, and self-comparisons. Some goofy scenes happen too, like bumping into old high school classmates at her job or meeting an artist she’s both admired/compared herself to and becoming good friends in an ironic-kinda way.

Another comic idea of a girl who works in a tea shop but has a gigantic pink pterodactyl friend… it’s supposed to be random and on the humorous side here (but I suck with writing humor sometimes, so I’m figuring this one out). The pterodactyl basically gets the tea shop worker girl out of a ton of hijinks in their crazy/chaotic city, where some new customers or a new recently-hired worker tend to draw strings of crazy events that pile up into some more surrealist randomness. *TBH I sort of like having characters in service jobs of big city environments ((not necessarily food or drink places; it could be something random like a librarian bc of the observations they can make of a diverse range of people)).

Some series of short stories of a happy family I wanted to get down. Exploring a 3-generational household that includes: The grandparents, their daughter (the mom) and her husband (the dad) who marries into the family, their 2 kids, 1 of the kid’s friends who stops by often (as their household becomes like a 2nd home to him), and a single mom + her child residing in their extra room — a friend of the 1st mom and whose kid has been friends with the siblings for most of their life. They’re kind people who help others (which explains why the single mom + the siblings’ friend is integral to their family as one of their own), and everyone looks out for each other. TBH, this is probably a story intended to stay happy + wholesome since it’s a bit of an escapism to see everyone have such a happy place together, no one abandoned or left behind. So my intention was to create stories that abound. Like how the quieter sibling has always struggled to fit in at school, the parents’ past love story, the 1st mom’s childhood as the only child, the single mother and her daughter’s story (+ their previous struggles with a living situation), the friend who comes by often and his feelings, how the grandparents are coping in old (etc etc). I guess I also love weaving stories by understanding people in layers, remembering real life people I’ve interacted with, and trying to understand and envision those characters’ lives similarly.

I have one more that’s kind of a nod to Gary Paulson’s “Paintings from the Cave: Three Novellas” — a book I read in schooling that’s stuck with me for a long time. So basically, it’s 3 separate stories in the same book with a common theme: How the companionship of dogs and art have helped characters cope in difficult times. The first story being a kid who copes with a hopeless life by ceramics, the second a girl who never belonged at home or in school by the friendship of dogs, and the last, a guy whose hope in life is both drawing and dogs.

My own idea was generally theming it around sleep problems that pour into your life, and how kids similarly cope with cats and art. But like “Paintings from the Cave,” it’ll still have a bit of a depressive/somber undertone.

So you get sleep issues like:

Insomnia due to anxiety + trauma for the main character of the first story, whose semi-nocturnal cats and sketchbook keeps them company in the moments awake before dawn. I haven’t planned this part out a lot.

Narcolepsy, as a medical condition that screws with a girl’s life (cause community college + work always sucks if you get sleepy in the day but are utterly unable to sleep at night). Because of her situation, she’s almost flunked a few times and a lot of her employers sadly had to let her go. So she decides to use her imbalanced sleep cycle to volunteer at a local shelter that needs night volunteers — where friendly cats help her regain a sense of confidence. You can’t fail at cats or get rejected from them like in a work environment — so long as they’re given space, care, food, and adequate shelter. So their lack of judgment soothes her in such a way.

Being a self-taught lucid dreamer who often uses sleep to escape reality. That leads to their hospitalization later on. But after being let go, they’re guided by a social worker who’s now organized to come by + help plan their life. They decide one day to use some of their dreams’ events and adventures as the springboard to draw out stories. I guess in a way, using art as a new coping mechanism and way to experience joy while awake.

There was a last story I made for a project in my last year of high school that’s also primarily late night-based and involves a sleepless protagonist (IK this is kind of a running thread — unintentional here). I haven’t really taken it seriously or planned in-depth, but it’s also one that crossed my mind ever so often. The plot basically goes:

A young adult lady works as a translator whose job is to travel between countries to work on translation projects. Her company of employment has bases in tons of different countries that work to transcribe anything from newspapers, books, or subtitles on screen. They have different departments for stable work vs. freelancing, and she’s somewhat 50/50 an office worker and a freelancer (tho the freelancery bits take her all over). She’s fluent in Mandarin, Cantonese, Vietnamese, and English — partaking a project that requires her Mandarin + Cantonese skills. But upon the journey, she meets someone who eventually shakes up her quiet, lonely life between countries.

All in all, each of these stories takes the day-to-day situations and pacing. SOL is sorta what I use as a tool to explore different people’s life situations or see through different lenses for a day. Every now and then, I get ideas for new SOL-themed stories but it’s mainly these in my mind right now. I have many that aren’t in this genre though… but explaining my magic-fantasy-adventure-worldbuildy stories will take forever in comparison lolol.

Maybe one of these days, I can motivate myself to act upon my ideas?

[cafeleningrad]

🔥 + vampires

Hello Anon, 'tis the season for such asks, isn't it? (And I recently talked too much about these creatures even though I'm not even a big fan of them?)

I think every onw has their littell indulgences in fictions far easier than certain themes, more tempting settings or creatures. For me it's dragons, for others it is vampires. This I personally don't get. Why is that sofor me? Pardon the pun but I think vampires in popcultre are remakrably defanged. At least they're very uninteresting in Western culture these days.

Dr. Jeff Holdeman said: "every age creates the Vampire it needs". Probably that can be said about any monster that cultures create creatures incarnating fears and cosmoplogy into a shaped myth. Vampires in particular are monsters created from fears of wasting, of fears of being robbed basic needs like rain for crops, draining people of energy and ressources they might barely have themselves, and a lot other anxieties- (Note that albeism and ageism are featured in these fears.) As concept the folkloric vampire can still transport anxieties into it's mythic form, there can be a lot done with it. In the Romantic and later ion Stoker's era, vampires became metaphors very often for artistorcrats sucking life forces of people socially weaker than them, breaking of boundaries. Additionally to fears of age, disability, and silent wasting diseases, came a social commentary component in anglophone literature which expands on the idea of a life sucking force can be. (Also interesting note, that Stoker might been more heavily inspired by Irish folklore than actual Central European one.) And of course what people see as silently corrupting others might differ form person to person. Meaning for homphobes, homosexuality can be a silently corrupting force. Queue Carmilla. It is no accident that in the 70s Hollywood was so fixated on the female vampire. In hindsight it is a perfect encapsulation of male fear of female sexuality. In the light of women's liberation movements soverignity women have and should have about their own sexuality stepped into the public light. Alongside the queer movement, the discovery of lesbian sex, men kinda realized male genitals were not necessarily needed for female orgasms. That breeds an entire subgenre of lesbian vampires. Apart from a homophobic literary predecessor, curious how the sexually assured woman who seduces other women, and (dentally) penetrates them becomes the monster. Speaking of sexuality. Eroticism and vampires are commonly linked these days, the metaphor is certainly there. Already with Lord Byron being parodied as a sexually exploitative vampire, Carmilla, later in cinema with Legosi, and Lee. I mean surely, horror plays with fears and tabaoos, if not fully diving into it. In times of sexualy repression the sexual component makes a lot of sense to incarnate in the modern US vampire. Not be another hater on Twilight, so much hate and ridicule was based on misogyny of a property for a femlae audience having sucess, however the vampires could've actually been any cerature as long as it was eternally youthful and sexually intriguing. (As demonstrated as the YA supernatural soft porn copy cats featuring angels and faes....) But why is Edward a vampire then? It's the animalistic appeal in him madly desiring a total normal girl into which the readers can easily project themselves into as an avatar, it's about the fantasy how badly Edward wants go down with Bella but is still safe as he will chastily surpress the urge for her virtue. There is a lot of itneresting stuff to unpack about the modern US vampire about his peak as sexual metaphor. Won't dwell to long on it because tumblr has already so many essays discussing Twilight, and vampires and (homo-)sexuality. What does annoy me, is that sexual repression is only one aspect of what a vampire can be. It follows only one branch of anglophone, and increasingly US-cultured pop-cultured, literary history centered around puritan anxieties. Don't get me wrong, the sexual aspects are there but if I have to read another Dracula take of puritanical Victorians... (For a "eat the rich" website the nobility cricism and Irish aspects are wasted... Also, wasting disease, and a certain tinge of xenophobia...) At some point that too can make a monster onesided, and repetitive if it only operates on one metpahor.

However, it is interesting that the vampire is pitiable, deserving of sympathy, maybe is romancable as endgame -monsters not being onedimensional evils anymore- falls togehter in an age where other stories very much invite the idea of understanding of the otherness as well. It can be very interesting. What is even more intersting to me how un-monstrous the monsterous is. Post Twilight, not all, but many vampiric centered shows used the mosnter as metpahor for understanding the other. But what does it say about the mosnter when it's nature is domesticated into easy alternative products, tamed, and is easily understood if it adheres to a very high beauty standart? (Del Torro's Shape of Water is the only bigscreen exception in Hollywood. I might be wrong but I can't recall much of another mainstream monster-monster romance title.) I think, there is a lot of interesting potential to continue using the monster as metpahor for understanding. Heck the compromise of it not being able to not harm the other person yet bargaining how to keep the harm at bay could make for an interesting story. The versions where the bloodsucking/lifeforcesucking is watered down to first sexual excitement just make the mosnter to a very bland idea of a sexual fantasy to me.

I mean, I know why these alterations exist like this, they're their right to exist. But in this form they simply are very boring. They're just the recycled idea of a "bad boy lover" but with a lot of money, and maybe Versailles cosplay, or dark leather, preferences may vary.

On the male side vampires are so ficking boring. Just overpowered beasts, can't die easily, there's a lot of blood, the goth imagery is there. I am looking at you Castlevania, Hellsing, and Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Perhaps every and genre era has macho hype fight fantasies. This one is so unbearbaly edgy wanna be cool to me.

All in all: Like every monster, the vampire was born out of very existencial anxieties. The concept ca be expanded onto fears of every era, and a lot of intersting things can be done out of them. A cerature that feeds of others, especially in invisible, barely inescapable ways - that metaphor can stretch so far, and play into some gerat horror ideas. Like with sexuality, abuse of social status, dealing with invisble illnesses. In previous discussions with anons they purposed ideas about vampires surviving over centuries and wirnessing history. Maybe less monstrous but also interesting to lean into what the massive passage of time can do. ("Interview with a vampire" really leans into the aspect of being stuck in time, being damned to actually remain in the age the turned person died while things still go on. Rice really wrote beautifully about the sensation of grief. So much in teh story comes back to trying to find a source for the characters' misery (the vampirism, being condemned to eternity, especially Claudia. I know, Lestat is a tumblr fave but the entire Vampire sage of hers is less interesting because it does exactly what I dislike about contemporary vampires: Defanging Lestat in his villanous aspects, swapping the more poetic stories but a more cool character image. Hearing good stuff from the show re-interpretation though.) In an age where everyone discusses class struggles, power dynamics between different demographics, word like "emotional labour" as well as clinical diagnosis are thrown around, scarcity of ressources is a big topc of anxiety, I think the concept of vampire can be easily used int stories - at least it can expand way beyond brachial discussions of sexuality. Or if leaning into sexuality, let's go back into the monstrousness. Aren't we in times talking so much about abuse? Why not make more of it? If understandig the monster why not go into also ageist and albeist origins of the the folkloric vampire? Why not talk about vampire metaphors historically harmful to minorities? They're such a rich source of ideas, and I am pretty suer that they're very good off-mainstream, outside-Hollywood titles using this creature in intersting ways. At it's current state of being afigure of "a rich, fancy seducer but within the boundaries of sexual comfort zone with a bit of excitement", or male power fantsy OP beast, they're just very unteresting to me. Both, as character and monster. (shout out to "Let the right one in", and "the girl who walks alone at night")

[fakeoutbf]

hellooo ✨

oof the image you've put of stick seasons in my mind, i NEED to go on a roadtrip immediately 👀 i'm gonna listen to the other albums you mentioned over the break and promptly rot and get into too many feelings. at least i'll have hot chocolate 🤍

like i know we got new music from louis recently, but i'm so excited for niall's music because like that man never goes wrong with his songs and both albums are 10/10 and i will die on the hill that heartbreak weather deserved a live tour! ooh i love all their solo music except for liam 💀 sorry but it's just not my vibe. i enjoy zayn's music a lot and i just love how he drops an album and disappears and does weird shit throughout the year like that's what i aspire to be

italy really is a dream place isn't it 🥹 i think the reason scotland has my heart is because of how quiet and isolated it seems (to me not to everyone) it's seems like a good place to runaway to gather your thoughts and just give time to yourself. i grew up in metropolitan cities and all my life i've been in places that are always constantly running and rushing and so scotland appeals to me a lot 🫣

your answer about love 🥹🫶 i'm gonna sob 🫣

i think love to me is something my grandma taught to me that i'll keep with me forever : love is in the little things and the soft rememberings and the tiny gestures and i'm someone who will always cherish platonic love over romantic love so love is friendship 🤍

if you could experience any time period in the history of things, which one would you go back to? 👀

hi hi 🫶🏻

listening to noah kahan while on break with hot chocolate sounds like a dream! please let me know which end up being your faves 💗

i’m the exact same! i listen to all their solo stuff but i only really liked a couple from liam and i think i only heard his album once through. and ngl i’m kinda glad niall canceled the hbw tour bc i wasn’t gonna get tickets but now i’m 100% going to his next tour bc all the music he releases is incredible. i still have songs from hbw in my top 100 and will probably keep having them until the new album comes out. and i love zayn’s music and new artist ventures so much as well. i would also love to just live my life, drop an album or merch out of nowhere and then chill. while we’re at it, favorite zayn and niall songs?

oh i get that! i’d definitely agree that living somewhere smaller might be more peaceful. i’m from a small city and i don’t feel like it’s fast paced by any means, but i hate how poorly planned the city is. totally inaccessible to pedestrians and the public transport sucks. i had to go to a bigger city for my harry show a couple of weeks ago and the amount of traffic was absolutely repulsive ajenrnsk as well as having to rush everywhere rip idk i think scotland might be much better in that aspect 🫣

i agree so much with your grandma, love truly is about the little things. and i love that you turn to platonic love over romantic love! i’m more of a familial love type person, at least with my mom and grandparents from her side. they’re unconditional support always and i truly don’t know who or where i’d be with them ❤️‍🩹

i’d love to go back to france at the end of the 19th century, just when impressionism was coming up. ngl i’m a bit of an art nerd so it would probably be that or 15/16th century italy for the renaissance period. but there’s just something about impressionist paintings (think monet, renoir, morisot, degas) that just makes me wanna live the scenes painted in the flesh. what about you? when would you go?

i hope you had a nice day today, sending you lots of love 💖💕💓💗💞💝

[citruslllad]

@nebulabun hey man i'm so sorry for hijacking your au but it's been sitting in my brain going brrrrr so at this point it's an au of an au. notes and thoughts under the cut 👇👇👇

(warning, the text might be a little glitchy atm)

(warning, the text might be a little glitchy atm)

first off it's like that book meme length of tma without emmet |_____| vs length of tma with emmet |___|. emmet gets in a job as an archival assistant because elias is like oh he'll be SO struck with grief and focused on his brother and he's gonna sabotage the others to find him. maybe even interact with a couple of entities in the process >:) but then he 1 saves jon from getting marked by the desolation during his meeting with jude (while gettin marked himself during the getaway rip 😔) and 2 literally helps sasha figure out elias' plan and why she wasn't promoted to head archivist instead. elias is FUMING but can't really do much when emmet has a dinosaur and a soul sucking chandelier as companions

speaking of sasha, i think the not-it dies during that whole encounter with emmet BEFORE it can get sasha, and that's why during nebula's first comic with the statement afterwards, whoever's recording (either jon since the guy can never catch a break, or maybe martin/someone less pressing since they don't have archivist powers to get emmet to talk more) had so many questions- because the not-them wasn't really as well known yet, at least not by whoever was recording. so i think the not-them in some weird twist of fate brings emmet and sasha together, since sasha, ever since the jane prentiss incident, always feels like she dodged a bullet. all THAT, plus. dudududdududuuduu michael. the bastard.

michael sits there like oh this is gonna be so FUN he's gonna be SPIRALING because of all this plus his BROTHER is LOST IN TIME that's enough to break someone!! and then he just goes nah i'm fine :] i can feel him, he's alive somewhere. and now i have a massive resource to find him. i'm depressed and i pushed people away and hurt them but we're all good now :] and michael just (Φ_Φ) but he still tries!! it's kinda funny actually

later on when daisy & basira join the crew (because sasha & emmet figure out elias, say.. sometime before the unknowing ritual occurs) emmet actually sorta bonds with daisy. at first she hates him because he's so blunt with her and how bad of a person she is before he just sighs one day and says "i never said you are a bad person. i am emmet, and if you are a bad person, then i am as well. i hurt people, physically and emotionally. but we have resolved things, and are closer because of it. if we can work things out, then so can you" which just. Eats At Her but softens her up just a little and helps her at least TRY to reach out. as time goes on i can imagine they'd start working out together?? sparring and that kinda stuff. helps relieve the stress PLUS emmet learning how to actually defend himself instead of just the stuff he picked up from public transportation PLUS emmet learns how to shoot a GUN.

how could i forget- i feel like emmet would have had a MASSIVE hyperfixation on What The Ghost and absolutely fanboy over melanie. i'm not sure if he'd encourage or discourage her from trying to kill elias, but he'd definitely be a victim of one of her Slaughter episodes. sometimes the guy is a bit too blunt for his own good and she stabs him with a pencil (at this point he's been marked by the stranger, the desolation, the spiral AND the slaughter. elias greatly considers replacing jon with him at this point)

anyways i'm tired and that is all i'm typing for tonight <333

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the meet Ugly- 13 with Danbrey?

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

13: we make contact before trying to steal the last seat on the subway/bus/train and I end up in your lap and fuck you, I’m going to stay here because I’ve had a really long day and this seat was mine

The bus is not as fun as she remembers.

When Aubrey was a little kid, her mom would use the bus to take her to the museum or the movies or, on the best days, the magic store. Yes, the Little’s had a nice car, but her mom believed that not only was the bus better for the environment, it was a way to remember that there was nothing scary about being around people who come from all sorts of circumstances (Aubrey later learned this was due to her mom once being at a PTA meeting where hands were rung over children using public transportation being exposed to “unsavory” people).

“The world is full of all kinds of people, firebug. That’s not something to be scared of.”

She wipes her eye surreptitiously under the West Virginia sun. You’d think she’d have learned not to think about mom in public by now.

The bus line she’s using for her tour is inexplicably crowded; half these towns are on their way to being ghosts but somehow she’s always fighting for a seat. She doesn’t like her chances for this leg of the ride, since she got distracted reading about the history of Doc Martens and ended up towards the back of the line.

By some luck, there’s one seat left as she squeezes onto the bus, using her body to keep people from elbowing the fabric carrier containing Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD. But in the time she takes to turn to sit, someone else slips into the spot, so fast it’s almost inhuman.

“Um, excuse me, but this was my seat.” She turns to confront the thief and finds herself looking at a young woman about her age, with honey-blonde hair and hazel eyes which, were she not tired and grumpy, Aubrey would have lots of compliments for.

“No, it wasn’t. I got here first. You’ll just have to stand.”

“That’d be fine if it were just me.” The bus pulls away from the curb, “but it’s bad for Dr. Harris Bonkers to be suspended for too long.” She adjusts the bunny bag, hoping his big brown eyes and wiggly nose will make her case for her.

“Awww” the blonde coos, booping him through the mesh, “don’t worry little guy, you aren’t going too far. You’ll be fine if your person stands for a little bit.”

“It’s not a little bit, it’s twelve hour trip to my next stop!”

A smile full of understated charm and triumph, “It’s thirteen to mine.”

“Aw beans.”

“......are you going to get out of my lap at any point?”

“No” Aubrey turns her head to look out the window, “this is a good seat, even if there’s someone in it. I’m staying.”

It’s not her finest moment, to be sure. But she’s tired and heartsick so she is staying in this seat, damn it. The other woman grumbles something and slumps back against the black seat.

They hit the next stop, but not enough people get off, so she stays in her mystery lady’s lap. Her seat(mate) pulls a baggie of granola from the pocket of her definitely-not-cute-at-all overalls and crunches it louder than necessary by her ear.

“Uh, your rabbit is trying to get out.”

Aubrey glances down to see the mesh front straining as Dr. Harris Bonkers attempts to reach the granola.

“Don’t beg, young man, it’s rude.”

“Can he have a piece?” She holds up a dried strawberry.

“Um, sure.” Aubrey watches as she unzips the top of the carrier and let’s the rabbit nibble the treat from her hand. Aubrey’s a little jealous.

They don’t say anything to each other, but the rabbit gets two more treats before they reach the next stop. The person who’s spent the whole trip asleep in the window seat next to them jerks awake and hurries off the bus. Aubrey scoots into it before anyone can dare challenge her.

They’ve just turned onto the highway when she says, “Thanks. For, um, for sharing your granola.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And I’m, um, I’m sorry for sitting on you.”

“Yeah that wasn’t great, but if someone was going to sit on me I’m glad it’s the cutest passenger on the bus.” She points at Dr. Harris Bonkers, but keeps her eyes on Aubrey.

“We’re both kinda tired. We had a show late last night and we’re nervous for the one tomorrow.”

“Show?”

“I’m a magician and he’s my assistant. I’m known as the Lady Flame” she snaps and finger-guns, setting off a flashpaper, “but you can call me Aubrey.”

“Ma’am, no smoking on the bus!”

“Sorry!” She calls to the driver.

“I’m Dani” the blond boops Dr. Harris Bonkers again, “whose this guy?”

“Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD.”

“Nice to meet you, doctor.”

“Are, um, are you just traveling for fun?” She unzips the carrier enough for them both to pet him.

“Not really. I was running an, uh, an errand. I’ll be glad to get back to Kepler.” She fiddles with something in her pocket, “could I see more of your act?”

“I think that might get me thrown off the bus.”

“Don’t you have pictures?” Dani smiles.

“Oh duh, right, here, I even got someone to take some videos.” She scooches closer, Dani closing the remaining distance to rest their shoulders together. As they move through the videos, Dani is noticeably excited, even claps a few times. When Aubrey’s battery dies, they say “fuck” in sync.

“...want to play ‘I Spy?”

“Hell yeah.”

The next three hours pass in a flash, the two of them laughing and trading stories, all the while both cuddling closer to the window (to better play the game, of course).

They reach a travel hub, the driver informing everyone that they’ll leave in an hour on the dot. The two of them select a Dennys, since in Aubrey’s experience they tend to ignore her bringing in an eighteen pound rabbit.

She charges her phone while they eat, Dani getting corned beef hash, (“not as good as the one my friend makes back home”) while Aubrey has pancakes. She gets a little syrup on her cheek and nearly asks Dani to clean it off for her. With her tongue.

It’s dark when they get back to their seats, but the driver keeps the A.C cranked to the point that Aubrey is shivering. Dani pulls a shawl from her backpack, draping it around them both like a blanket as the trees become nothing more than vague shapes in the dark.

They talk about Aubrey’s tattoos, about the garden Dani has back home (“lots of veggies, you’d like that, wouldn’t you buddy?”). Last night starts catching up with Aubrey, yawns threatening to steal her attention from the way the light catches in Dani’s hair.

“Wanna see more videos?” That’s low energy flirtation, right?

“Of course.”

As she opens the videos, she hits an older album and an image of her and her mom fills the screen. She freezes, like the highbeams of the past are barrelling towards her and all she can do is watch.

“Aubrey?” Dani touches her cheek.

“Um, sorry.” She shoves the phone in the pocket of her jacket, “I, my, my mom died a little while ago. That was her. Um. I guess that was obvious. Sorry.”

Dani’s fingers find hers, interlacing them gently, “I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I...I get it. My family is, well I made some choices that mean I’ll never get to see them again. I, the reason I went on this trip was because I heard one of my brothers might have, uh, done the same thing. He hadn’t.” She sighs, “I don’t even know if they’re all still alive.”

“That sucks. This all. Fucking. Sucks.”

Dani nods, rests their heads together, “You know what doesn’t suck? Meeting you.”

“Pfffft” Aubrey smiles through her tears, hoping the joking noise will hide her blush.

Dani cups her cheeks, “I’m serious. Getting to know you feels like, like rounding a corner and seeing your house after years away. I, this is going to sound silly but please tell me you’re stopping in Kepler for a show?”

“I’m not but I, um, I guess I could still stop off there? If you really wanted me to.” Something about Dani’s smile, the warmth in her eyes, soothes her grief to sleep for now.

“I do, fireblossom, so much.”

Aubrey blushes, “Think you might be my first fan; no one else ever requests a show.”

Dani kisses her cheek, “I might even request one in private.”

“I could get into that” she yawns, “damn it, I don’t wanna sleep. I wanna keep flirting with you, cutie pie.”

Dani shifts their luggage, scoots sideways and guides Aubrey’s head down into her lap, “Get some rest, Aubrey. Just being able to look at you is enough for me.”

“Awww” Aubrey nestles against her stomach, “you’re so cute...just a...cutie...pie...zzz”

The last thing she feels is a kiss on the forehead and Dani tucking the shawl around her.

-----------------------------------------------

Aubrey does not want to get off this bus; Dani is cuddled up next to her, telling her about what kind of flowers she’d grow her, when he stops come up.

“Whelp….this is me.”

Dani helps her off the bus, passing her the carrier containing a sleeping Dr. Harris Bonkers. Then she smirks, “is your balance pretty good.”

“Yeah? Wh-mmphhoh” She holds tight as Dani nearly knocks her off her feet in a kiss. She tastes like the strawberry poptart they split for breakfast and is not making it any easier to say goodbye.

“Promise you’ll come see me in Kepler?’ Dani murmurs against her lips.

“Promise.”

A kiss on the nose, then a longer one on the mouth that makes Aubrey feel like she’s going to go up flashpaper. Then Dani is gone, off towards Kepler. A town Aubrey has no knowledge of and no idea how to navigate. And she didn’t get Dani’s last name.

“Fuck.” She says to the rabbit.

The rabbit simply snuffles in reply.

-------------------------------------

A few hours after her most catastrophic show to date and getting a gun pointed at her, Aubrey walks into Amnesty Lodge and finds a certain face, haloed with golden hair, waiting for her by the fireplace.

[cosplayinamerica]

ARTIST ALLEY : BurntGreenTea

Here at Cosplay in America, I am expanding who I interview to those in the convention scene. Today we will talk to BurntGreenTea who I met in artist alley at Ikkicon, an anime convention in Austin, TX. BurntGreenTea is from Northern California and as stated on his Deviant Art “Hey, my name is Nelson! I like to draw waifus”

EJEN : My first question is why BurntGreenTea? 

BURNTGREENTEA: That’s actually my second handle I came up with, I had an embarrassing name before so I wanted to change into something more ironic and more “me” in a name. so I’ve been going as BurntGreenTea ever since. I do drink matcha alot!

EJEN: Tell us how you got started in artist alley, what was your first one and what was that experience like?

BURNTGREENTEA: I started getting interested in doing artist alley at my first Fanime Con back in 2007 as a one day attendee when I was still in high school.

I went with my best friend at the time and it blew my expectations of what a convention was, especially the artist alley since it completely opened my mind that there’s artists actually selling fan art. But I didn’t commit to it until 2012, just when I was in my 2nd year of college.

By that time, I had enough digital art and felt confident that I could do it. Fanime still had the application process of first come first serve (meaning those who apply the earliest will get a spot), so I was fortunate enough to apply fast enough to get a table!

For a first time experience it was nerve-wracking before, during and after the con. But there was something to it that really sparked my interest; and I think there were people that legitimately liked my work and bought them.

EJEN: Was there a point that you went “yeah, this could work” and you made the jump to traveling out of state for artist alley?

BURNTGREENTEA: It was about one and half years after I graduated from college, between that time I worked in a job that was soul sucking but I had many of my colleagues working at, and then after I was applying to animation studios, gaming companies, etc while I was doing commissions and artist alleys at the same time.

It went on like this for almost a year. By this point I felt like I really hit my lowest and felt a great shame that I couldn’t find “stable” work. My parents didn’t really support me doing artist alley during this time since it’s not legit work and it’s more like a fun hobby I can do on the side, all the while I have colleagues and friends who have jobs in the animation or gaming industries. I felt extremely lost, and wasn’t sure the direction I wanted to go in life, so my parents encouraged me to go back to school to get a “safe” degree or trade.

But there was something I knew in the back of my mind that I couldn’t see until I had a meet up with an old friend. She was confident, happy, found her dream job that paid well and she enjoyed the work, and she was completely honest and blunt. When the topic came up of me being lost in life, she asked me, “what did you want to do then?” and I told her honestly, “I really just want to do artist alley and make that work.” “Then just do it.” So I did.

EJEN: After all the time you spent in artist alley, what’s the most important factor that an artist must understand to do decently in sales

BURNTGREENTEA: Research research research. It’s basically “knowledge is power” but breaking down as knowing your audience, yourself (what you enjoy, your strengths and capabilities) and learning new trades while breaking old habits.

EJEN: Can you go more in detail about research, research, research?

BURNTGREENTEA: So this reflects back on my previous answer, so know the convention you’re going into, what you can offer, what’s your budget, everything that would make your experience at the convention you’re getting into a great experience.

I have heard many stories of artists not breaking even and even I had bad experiences due to inaccurate/outdated information or inexperience. For example, there was a first year event that had a $1000 table price tag and promised to bring in 5000 attendees.

This was going to be my second event/convention to table at, so I had no idea what it was going to be like and decided to go for it. It ended up having less than 100 attendees, and I lost a significant amount of money. So now I have to get as much info as I can get to make the convention viable to go to.

EJEN: How do you describe your style and how has it changed if any over the 14 years you’ve done art? What were some of your earlier influences.

BURNTGREENTEA: Right now I can say it’s pretty much anime style, but I can say there were several phases I went through. Looking through my Deviantart gives a great timeline all the way back to middle school until recently.

When I initially started I was getting into anime thanks to friends, so I was very much influenced by Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, and Gurren Lagann. Then in high school I started to do more digital art, eventually creating artwork bigger and grander just like the artists from Fanime I admired.

When I finally started my education in my art program in college, I started getting the proper training in lighting, form, and composition. This time period my pieces were more western-influenced, like more realistic faces and body proportions, but there was something missing in it that I wouldn’t understand until after I graduated. It’s around the same time when I wanted to do artist alleys full time that I was more true to myself in the style and got more flashy, more colorful and composition.

EJEN : How do you decide what Alley to apply for. What’s your personal criteria for conventions to do artist alley at? 

BURNTGREENTEA: Local cons are usually easy for me to decide to apply for due to the cost being low(transportation, housing, etc). If there’s anything that involves flying out of state, I have to factor in much more information about the con, personal experiences from other artists, and if it is viable for an anime fan artist to break even and also turn a profit. Usually big conventions like Anime Expo and Otakon are the must go to conventions for their huge attendance numbers.

EJEN: Describe to me a typical day in the Alley!

BURNTGREENTEA: Due to the times right now, it seems like almost a dream to be in an artist alley, haha. Here’s a usual day of being in the Alley: Waking up early to get ready, getting breakfast and caffeine before heading inside a convention.

Usually getting there early, either me or some art friends would walk around the Alley and check out other artists before it’s open to the public. There would be some art friends I made along the way that I can catch up with briefly, chatting about the next shows or projects. I would have probably stayed up kinda late working on physical commissions and would need to go back to my table to continue finishing them up.

When the Alley opens up, it’s mostly engaging and talking with familiar customers or friends, while also working on commissions during the down times. Friends would go on food or snack runs, and I would get an hour to go shopping during the day somewhere as a break.

By the time it ends, it would have felt like it had gone in a flash. But with heavy eyes but our hearts full with a day accomplished. If we had the strength, we would check out an event or explore the convention hall abit more to absorb the atmosphere. Getting dinner with friends after a job well done, while we have another day to look forward to spending time with fans alike.

It’s really nostalgic to reflect on a typical day to be in the Alley, and having to have that all stop for almost a year now.

EJEN: Since the pandemic, how are you coping with this change both personally and business-wise?

BURNTGREENTEA: I was honestly hoping conventions would come back around at the end of May, but that never happened so I had to approach things differently. Luckily I had a freelance gig that I was working part time, so I had a semi-regular income on the side while I applied for virtual conventions and commissions.

It was tough since I wanted 2020 to be the year I would do the most conventions ever but that plan derailed. I also focused on my online shop and my social media presence, which so far is paying off!

Like everyone this year took a mental and physical toll, but I also ended up working on more projects and digital work to help keep me distracted.

EJEN: What are your plans for the future, what are you working on?

BURNTGREENTEA: My goal is still to go back to doing conventions, but at the moment I’m going to give that a pause. Currently I have a contract job that’s ending soon, and I have something that’s NDA that might come up, crossing my fingers! That’s the near future, but for the time being I want to refocus on learning new things and refining my art since I’ve gotten rusty.

EJEN: Finally who is your waifu?

BURNTGREENTEA: My waifu is Lucina from Fire Emblem!

Visit BurntGreenTea’s Etsy!

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 5

part 4 here

Hello everyone and welcome back to this... thing. Last time, we met Tsuruno, who I forgot to mention is voiced by the TrySail member we hadn't seen yet, Natsukawa Shiina. After meeting Tsuruno, our girls join Yachiyo in investigating the rumor of the Seance Shrine, that they in fact find, and left off with them meeting the people they were looking for. Are those the real deal? Guess we'll have to watch to find out.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 5

Rather than going back to where we left off right away, we are first treated to a flashback to the person Yachiyo asked to meet. 

and of course, that inverted "sayonara" there in the background doesn't mean anything, nope.

Just by this little scene, we can guess that the person Yachiyo's searching for was also interested in the rumors about salvation. Yachiyo, however, doesn't wish to be saved like this person does. So what exactly happened to Yachiyo's friend?

Back to where we left off, Yachiyo and Iroha meet the people they had written the names of. Iroha runs after and hugs Ui, but the situation is quite strange. When Iroha takes a step back, this Ui starts repeating the ad about Kamihama like a broken record (haha, record). It's really unsettling. Iroha realizes this is a fake, looks around, sees the people that had disappeared and when she looks back Ui's fake is gone.

Iroha, that's a pretty concerning color your Soul Gem has right now...

While she's off doing that, Yachiyo confronts the Mifuyu that appeared to her. Hey, this one's actually behaving like a person, at least.

Yachiyo says she can't just believe she's real, so Mifuyu tells her some things that probably only the two of them should know, making Yachiyo have to concede that at least when it comes to memories she's the real deal.

That's kinda mean to say when you're the one who went ahead and disappeared.

Yachiyo questions Mifuyu about why she disappeared and asks her to come back but Mifuyu says she can't leave the shrine because her body has become too used to it. What is this, the underworld?

Mifuyu invites Yachiyo to stay instead, and Yachiyo is... hypnotized by the little pinwheel? I guess, but Iroha snaps her out of it.

Obviously, this Mifuyu was also a fake. Really raises the question on why this one is so life-like when Ui's was a walking ad.

For some reason, Yachiyo can't see the creepiness of the fake. She insists that they have to leave, but the fake Mifuyu refuses to. Seeing that, Yachiyo starts doubting she's the real Mifuyu again.

...really, what is up with that pinwheel? Yachiyo stares into it again and is, uh... cursed? I guess.

Seeing that, Iroha threatens the fake Mifuyu, who decides Iroha's the reason why Yachiyo won't stay so she has to erase her.

Mifuyu jumps around with her chakram hula hoop, boasting about her relation with Yachiyo, before attacking.

Can't really screenshot this but Mifuyu's movements while dodging Iroha's bolts are really nice, she’s like a ballerina.

...also, Iroha, your aim sucks. Though nice job noticing the hoop was also a boomerang.

...well, guess you're the one who has a void to fill in now. (this shot’s so nice)

being meguca is suffering.

Yachiyo defeats the fake Mifuyu with a fair deal of colateral damage to her sanity points. She cleans her Soul Gem with great difficulty, but the amount the Grief Seed she had in hand could clean was not enough. So Iroha comes in and uses her own spare one (which I think is the one she received from Yachiyo in ep1) to finish cleaning it. Yachiyo protests this but Iroha says she can't just abandon her.

When that's done, Tsuruno comes in to join them. Shes says the familiars outside suddenly disappeared, so she got worried and came here.

It seems like since they defeated the fakes, the master of this barrier decided to deal with them itself.

The girls try to put in some damage, but not even op Yachiyo's attacks manage to make a lasting effect. When Tsuruno loses her flames, Yachiyo creates a bullet hell and tells them to find a way out while she distracts the thing, but apparently Iroha's still on the "need to get stronger" mentality and refuses to back out, only to get wrecked.

Uhhhh... That's not very good. Are we losing our protagonist only five episodes in?

...this face is kinda heart-breaking. It's actually honestly impressive that she didn't witch out right then and there considering how unsettling fake Ui was and how her Soul Gem was already impure by then.

Iroha passes out, so Yachiyo carries her and Tsuruno and her make a run for it.

While they do that, Iroha's having some weird near-death experience (...I never died so I can't affirm it's weird). She sinks further and further, getting caught up in bandages and then, when she comes face to face with her own reflection, bandages cover her eyes and that reflection gains a creepy white mask(?).

Suddenly, the bandage materializes irl and we get a Elseve commercial-- I mean, no, Iroha witches-out...? Kinda...? Her hair has spawned a witch.

The animation on Iroha's hair here is really nice.

Hey, nice haircut!

The witch(?) of the Seance Shrine doesn't seem very happy to have a companion though, so it tackles Iroha's witch, which in turn binds it with its bandages and starts pecking.

Who'd win, an elephant lizard or a weird birb doll?

Just... absolutely brutal.

Iroha's witch tears apart the master of this barrier, and the Seance Shrine fades, delivering everyone back to Mizuna Shrine, including the people who had disappeared... and Iroha's witch. Wait, weren't witches supposed to only exist inside Labyrinths...?

Not satisfied with snacking on the rumor's monster, Iroha's witch decides Tsuruno is next on the menu but, before the restaurant girl can become food, a certain veteran comes in with a bang. Literally.

Iroha's witch gets a second hole in her body and spews Iroha out before fading. Then-

wait...

SPEWS IROHA OUT?

That's not how witches work!

Mami thinks that Iroha is a witch pretending to be a human, so she's determined to eliminate her (to be fair, she only saw Iroha with the witch, so...). Yachiyo, however, tells her to step down, and you could almost see the sparks flying between them.

Yachiyo and Tsuruno manage to make Mami give up on shooting Iroha, so Mami changes the subject to what she had heard from Kyuubei.

Yachiyo, I don't think this is the best time to be picking a fight...

Mami confirms that she's aware of what's going on and Yachiyo says it's none of their problem, and she should keep her territory's problems on her own territory. Geez, Yachiyo, calm down. It's not like she tried to shoot one of your friends or- oh.

Yachiyo: “You must be at least this tall to enter Kamihama.“

Mami did say she didn't want to pick a fight with Kamihama's magical girls, so she decides to retreat quietly for the day, but not before leaving some veteran advice for Tsuruno:

Which girl, Mami? Yachiyo or Iroha?

Leaving this cryptic piece of advice, Mami takes off, as well as the chibi Kyuubei, that she conveniently didn't see.

Inside Iroha's mind, she's freed from being a temporary mummy and instead starts having a weird dream.

In the near future, you'll get targeted ads in your dreams.

"I didn't sign up for this."

Iroha can't catch a break.

When she wakes up, Iroha's in an unknown room. She notices that her Soul Gem is completely clean now. Very suspicious.

I may or may not have an absurd amount of screenshots of this place to use as reference for drawing.

Iroha does some exploring and finds Yachiyo, because this is Yachiyo's place. Yachiyo says she carried her there since she was unconscious, and asks if she wants to call her parents, to which Iroha just shakes her head quietly. Of course, Iroha's parents aren't around so there's no real point in her calling them. Convenient in this situation, but kinda sad all around. Yachiyo doesn't pry.

Iroha realizes she must've been there a while and makes to leave immediately but Yachiyo points out it's past the hour public transport works (even in the near future, huh). While Iroha's visibly troubled, Yachiyo suggests she just stay over for the night.

...now Yachiyo I get telling a middle schooler to not walk about this late at night, but isn't that the time most magical girls act? lol

Dunno what this is but it looks good.

While Yachiyo prepares dinner, Iroha asks if there's anything she can help with, but Yachiyo just tells her to go rest some more, which she does.

"I have school tomorrow!" "...oh, it's Saturday." This is so relatable. Even when you're not at school anymore.

I shouldn't be that long since Iroha's parents left, but as expected it must be really lonely being all alone like this, with no friends and only an empty room reminding her of what she lost. Poor Iroha (man, how many more times will I have to write this...).

Sometime later, Yachiyo comes to call Iroha for dinner, but...

Yachiyo repeats her phrase from the begging of this episode, but with more parts now.

Yachiyo had told Iroha just the episode before that Iroha was held down by her past but, as it turns out, Yachiyo is even more so. These two's suffering is actually very alike: Both lost someone that meant the world to them, and now are searching for their lost parts while bearing their loneliness.

It's a short scene, but it's quietly one of the best ones until now in my opinion. It's beautiful, and does a great job in starting to touch upon Yachiyo's true nature. Even the kinda on-the-nose shot of her being "trapped" by the window is good. 10/10 on this one.

Oh, also, if I had to give one difference between Yachiyo and Iroha in this context, it'd be that while Iroha is adamant that her sister existed and that she'll find her somehow, Yachiyo's way of talking about Mifuyu don't sound like she thinks they'll meet again sometime, despite her searching for her. From my point of view, there are two reasons for this: one is that Iroha might just break if she ever stops believing. Could you imagine? Realizing the sister you've traded your soul for, your only friend and most important thing, never actually existed. That's a one-way ticket to despair if I ever saw one. The other one is that Yachiyo, like fake Mifuyu touched briefly on, has been a magical girl for years now. Whether she knows the truth or not, it's easy to imagine that the longer you live as one the more aware you are of how easy it's to die in this path. If Yachiyo has seen a lot of other magical girls fall around her in all those years, it's quite possible a part of her believes Mifuyu is missing because she's dead. Which is... very tragic.

Well, anyways...

"There's no place for you here."

It's particularly ironic to have this title card show up just after a scene where Iroha's sleeping on Mifuyu's room.

Also, DON'T LEAVE YET.

I did it again, I forgot there were after-credit scenes, again!

Somewhere else, Momoko's team was getting their butt handed to them by a witch and Kaede, the only one left standing, despairs and does the same thing Iroha did.

Kaede, however, doesn't get the benefit of being knocked out like Iroha, so she very understandably freaks out.

"Could I be a witch?" I mean, technically...

One thing Kaede has got right, though: This is definitely not normal.

When magical girls witch out, their Soul Gems are supposed to turn into Grief Seeds, but here not only Iroha and Kaede's Soul Gems were perfectly fine, they were even purified for them. I vaguely remember Sayaka summoning Octavia in Rebellion, but I don't think this is it either. Well, it's a good thing for the girls so not that I'm complaining but what the heck is going on here?

...of course, I already know the answer to this, but making you curious is my job :v

With all of that said (and put all in that this was looong), I hope to see you guys tomorrow as we watch episode 6 and try to put together the pieces of the many puzzles Magia Record has given us. See you next time!

[marireadshellblazer]

Hellblazer Issue #7

There are a couple of big gut punches in this issue. Forgot how hard the one with Ray hit, though.

Okay they need to stop with how amazing the cover art is. My heart cannot take it!

Whooo boy, ok, the guest art there at the beginning caught me a bit off guard. Good way to separate his dream from reality. Also, pretty hot. It really let’s us see into John’s mind; how he subconsciously views people and where is passions are. Where his curiosity overlaps with sexuality. Got some flashbacks to The Horrorist.

Also, I’mma have to agree with John here; public transport does suck. It was amazingly convenient in Japan, and it was nice to have around the college campus, but it isn’t exactly a pleasure experience wise. Worst I had was the subway in New York City. It was the single most disgusting place I have ever been.

So, another friend of John’s brought in here; Ritchie. Now, the computers he works with make this particular issue stand out as really dated. It also had me thinking about some stuff.

In my horror film history class, we talked a lot about what makes something scary. A lot of the time, the “monsters” in film represent the anxieties and fears that are present among the masses at the time. Movies about zombie outbreaks and viruses got more popular in the wake of COVID 19. Movies with people based on real-life serial killers prey on the fears people have about those in the community and their fear of being victimized. Movies with demonic possessions can be metaphors for all kinds of things, and werewolf films are often the most easy to decipher as parallels for everything from puberty to mental illness. Horror films are, in short, often scary because the thing to fear in them is often grounded in things that are real, thus the popularity of found footage and “based on a true story” horror films.

In our modern world technology is still a great source of anxiety. People watching you through your webcam, Google knowing your location, Alexa becoming one of those things from The Terminator, etc. While it might seem lame or dated now, movies like Ringu (or the American version called The Ring) play on these fears as well; our dependence on and the prevalence of technology and how it can victimize us. For instance, at the beginning of The Ring there are two girls talking about how they heard TV waves cause brain damage or something to that effect. This stuck with me since, when I was a kid, there were rumors that cell phones could cause cancer and that you shouldn’t sleep near them or have them on for too long (something about radiation, I think). Even now you hear about people thinking 5G will either kill us or be used for mind control.

What I’m saying is, even though it’s dated, it makes sense to me that technology and it’s use as a portal for the mind is brought into Hellblazer. Computers becoming more accessible and the rapid upgrades that came with them, I imagine, caused a lot of anxiety. What can they be used for? Are they dangerous? Can the Russians use it to take over??!!! (I assume that’s what people from the 80’s were like IDK). The idea of using it in order to access the spiritual plane, although farfetched, falls into the question of “well, what can’t a computer do?” which is something that people still ask themselves today.

Poor Ritchie. Another victim of the curse that is being near John Constantine. Making me think back to what happened during the séance during the American Gothic arc of Swamp Thing; another magician dead after being pulled into something dangerous by John.

My God…I mean since I read his before I knew it was coming, but Ray…breaks my freaking heart every time. It’s no surprise that Delano includes his feelings about the treatment of gays and those with AIDS. I imagine, at the time, it might have been an unpopular opinion. Showing Ray speaking of his illness bravely and being open about who he loves…it gets me every time. He was murdered by brainwashed cowards for ultimately no reason. He stood his ground bravely for a friend. This is some real horror, here. What’s more horrifying than the murder of an innocent old man via hate crime? This was the first time (but not the last) I felt my stomach drop when reading this series. Delano made him a martyr for the message. It could be argued that this fits into the bury your gays trope, but it does get the point across. His death is haunting. The reader may not know him well, but they know very well Ray did nothing to deserve that.

Something I didn’t notice before: John being on a train bookends the issue, as does the subject of sex. At the beginning he’s sleeping, so at least somewhat relaxed, on his way to see a hommie, dreaming about banging a friend. Pretty standard stuff. At the end of the issue, he is stressed and dealing with the reality that the aforementioned hommie is now dead more or less because of him. The ghost of his ex then chastises him for having sex as a partial motivation, which does appear to be the case. Sex goes from something good (as good as unzipping flesh can be, anyway) to something shameful and is being something thrown at him as a problem. Nice touch there.

Ok so the journal entries at the end from when John was in Ravenscar were a bit of a surprise. The one about his sister…I have heard of people having experiences like that with siblings or other family. Is that normal?

Words I had to look up:

Duck- dear, term of endearment. (aight, I have heard this one in this context before, and I could kinda guess at the meaning, but this time I knew I needed to be sure. Also, not gunna lie, it’s kinda weird).

kia ora- Maori word, used here I think to mean lively or cheerful.

Cosh- big-ass stick, used as a weapon.

[pepsiwithlemon]

where i’m at currently is like. so weird. last march after being involuntarily hospitalized and like. Instituted. i was unemployed and unmedicated and had racked up over $12k in medical debt that i thought i would never live to pay off. i was certain everyone i knew and strangers i didnt wanted to kill me. and we were all in the “oh shit this is real” phase of the pandemic and quarantine. i was freaking out over this debt and how i had to get a job but jobs make me suicidal so it had to be a good job that paid. but it’s a pandemic and unemployment is shot and no one is hiring. and i had to have a car because public transport where i live sucks ass, but first i needed a license and that meant going to the dmv which was scheduling appointments literal months in advance. i felt so incredibly weak and small and helpless and like the best alternative was suicide. and now its almost been a year and for the first time in my life i have savings. i own a car. i take the train to my office job that is sometimes stressful but entirely doable. on weekends i buy dinner for my friends because i love them and i really feel like they have been through hell and back with me. and they probably will again. today i got an email from my debt collection agency saying my debt was paid in full. it’s weird to have definitive progress in my life when i constantly believe i have done nothing and am going nowhere. i find it hard to look at my life and consider it a positive - i still have days where i dont get out of bed. i still claw and pick at my skin when i’m anxious. i still see when the universe sends me signs and signals and all kinds of messages and there’s no turning that off i dont think. im not happy. im not really content either. but if i put things into perspective... how was i doing last year? the year before that? i’m better. i’m getting better all the time. in the future i might not be doing so well, and that’s okay. i made it out of that hole once. i can do it again. there are a lot of people who love me who helped me last time. i hope i don’t disappoint them, i hope i dont have to need their help again. i kinda lost the plot of this and my toilet is bubbling like it’s a witch’s cauldron so i guess i’ll get back to this later lol