#but! berlin has some great places to visit

[cardinalbe]

I've been reviewing some of my pictures and I gotta say... well, for one, I am terrible at taking pictures. But! Secondly, Spandau Zitadel really is a hidden gem. It's like seven museums, an archaeology site, and a sick castle-fort all in one place! And it definitely takes more than a couple hours to work through so maybe don't wait until like 15:00 to arrive...

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Kickstarting “The Bezzle” audiobook, sequel to Red Team Blues

I'm heading to Berlin! On January 29, I'll be delivering Transmediale's Marshall McLuhan Lecture, and on January 30, I'll be at Otherland Books (tickets are limited! They'll have exclusive early access to the English edition of The Bezzle and the German edition of Red Team Blues!).

I'm kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to last year's Red Team Blues, featuring Marty Hench, a hard-charging, two-fisted forensic accountant who spent 40 years in Silicon Valley, busting every finance scam hatched by tech bros' feverish imaginations:

http://thebezzle.org

Marty Hench is a great character to write. His career in high-tech scambusting starts in the early 1980s with the first PCs and stretches all the way to the cryptocurrency era, the most target-rich environment for scamhunting tech has ever seen. Hench is the Zelig of tech scams, and I'm having so much fun using him to probe the seamy underbelly of the tech economy.

Enter The Bezzle, which will be published by Tor Books and Head of Zeus on Feb 20: this adventure finds Marty in the company of Scott Warms, one of the many bright technologists whose great startup was bought and destroyed by Yahoo! (yes, they really used that asinine exclamation mark). Scott is shackled to the Punctuation Factory by golden handcuffs, and he's determined to get fired without cause, so he can collect his shares and move onto the next thing.

That's how Scott and Marty find themselves on Catalina island, the redoubt of the Wrigley family, where bison roam the hills, yachts bob in the habor and fast food is banned. Scott invites Marty on a series of luxury vacations on Catalina, which end abruptly when they discover – and implode – a hamburger-related Ponzi scheme run by a real-estate millionaire who is destroying the personal finances of the Island's working-class townies out of sheer sadism.

Scott's victory is bittersweet: sure, he blew up the Ponzi scheme, but he's also made powerful enemies – the kinds of enemies who can pull strings with the notoriously corrupt LA County Sheriff's Deputies who are the only law on Catalina, and after taking a pair of felony plea deals, Scott gets the message and never visits Catalina Island again.

That could have been the end of it, but California's three-strikes law – since rescinded – means that when Scott picks up one more felony conviction for some drugs discovered during a traffic stop, he's facing life in prison.

That's where The Bezzle really gets into gear.

At its core, The Bezzle is a novel about the "shitty technology adoption curve": the idea that our worst technological schemes are sanded smooth on the bodies of prisoners, mental patients, kids and refugees before they work their way up the privilege gradient and are inflicted on all of us:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

America's prisons are vicious, brutal places, and technology has only made them worse. When Scott's prison swaps out in-person visits, the prison library, and phone calls for a "free" tablet that offers all these services as janky apps that cost ten times more than they would on the outside, the cruelty finds a business model.

Working inside and outside the prison Marty Hench and Scott Warms figure out the full nature of the scam that the captive audience of prisoners are involuntary beta-testers for, and they discover a sprawling web of real-estate fraud, tech scams, and offshore finance that is extracting fortunes from the hides of America's prisoners and their families. The criminals who run that kind of enterprise aren't shy about fighting for what they've got, and they're more than happy to cut some of LA County's notorious deputy gangs in for a cut in exchange for providing some kinetic support for the project.

The Bezzle is exactly the kind of book I was hoping I'd get to write when I kicked off the Hench series – one that decodes the scam economy, from music royalties to prison videoconferencing, real estate investment trusts to Big Four accounting firm bogus audits. It's both a fast-moving, two-fisted crime novel and a masterclass on how the rich and powerful get away with both literal and figurative murder.

It's getting a big push from both my publishers and I'll be touring western Canada and the US with it. The early reviews are spectacular. But despite all of this, I had to make my own audiobook for it, which I'm pre-selling on Kickstarter:

http://thebezzle.org

Why? Because Audible – Amazon's monopoly gatekeeper to the audiobook world, with more than 90% of the market – refuses to carry my work.

Audible uses Digital Rights Management to lock every audiobook they sell to their platform. Legally, only an Audible-authorized app can decrypt and play the audiobooks they sell you. Distributing a tool that removes Audible DRM is a felony under Section 1201 of the 1998 DMCA.

That means that if you break up with Audible – delete your Audible apps – you will lose your entire audiobook library. And the fact that you're Audible's hostage makes the writers you love into their hostages, too. Writers understand that if they leave the Audible platform, their audience will have to choose between following them, or losing all their audiobooks.

That's how Audible gets away with abusing its performers and writers, up to and including the $100m Audiblegate wage-theft scandal:

https://www.audiblegate.com/

Audible can steal $100m from its writers…and the writers still continue to sell on the platform, because leaving will cost them their audience.

This is canonical enshittification: lock in users, then screw suppliers. Lots of companies abuse DRM to do this, but none can hold a candle to Amazon, who understand that the DMCA is a copyright law that protects corporations at the expense of creators.

Under DMCA 1201 commercial distribution of a "circumvention device" carries a five-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that if I write a book, pay to have it recorded, and then sell it to you through Audible, I am criminally prohibited from giving you the tool to take it from Audible to another platform. Even though I hold the copyright to that work, I would face a harsher sentence than you would if you simply pirated the audiobook from some darknet site. Not only that: if you shoplifted the audiobook in CD form, you'd get a lighter sentence than I, the copyright holder, would receive for giving you a tool to unlock it from Amazon's platform! Hell, if you hijacked the truck that delivered the CD, you'd get off lighter than I would. This is a scam straight out of a Marty Hench novel.

This is batshit. I won't allow it. My books are licensed on the condition that they must not be sold with DRM. Which means that Audible won't sell my books, which means that my publishers are thoroughly disinterested in paying thousands of dollars to produce audiobooks of my titles. A book that isn't sold in the one store than accounts for 90% of all sales is unlikely to do well.

That's where you come in. Since 2020, I've used Kickstarter to pre-sell five of my audiobooks (I wrote nine books during lockdown!). All told, I've raised over $750,000 (gross! but still!) on these crowdfunders. More than 20,000 backers have pitched in! The last two of these books – The Internet Con and The Lost Cause – were national bestsellers.

This isn't just a way for me to pay off a lot of bills and put away something for retirement – it's proof that readers care about supporting writers and don't want to be locked in by a giant monopolist that depends on its drivers pissing in bottles to make quota.

It's a powerful message about the desire for something better than Amazon. It's part of the current that is driving the FTC to haul Amazon into court for being a monopolist, and also part of the inspiration for other authors to try treating Amazon as damage and routing around it, with spectacular results:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dragonsteel/surprise-four-secret-novels-by-brandon-sanderson

And I'm doing it again. Last December, I went into Skyboat Media's studios where Gabrielle De Cuir directed @wilwheaton, who reprised his role as Marty Hench for the audiobook of The Bezzle. It came out amazing:

https://archive.org/details/bezzle-sample

Now I'm pre-selling this audiobook, as well as the ebook and hardcover for The Bezzle. I'm also offering bundles with the ebook and audiobook for Red Team Blues (naturally these are all DRM-free). You can get your books signed and personalized and shipped anywhere in the world, courtesy of Book Soup, and I've partnered with Libro.fm to deliver DRM-free audiobooks with an app for people who don't want to mess around with sideloading.

I've also got some spendy options for high rollers. There's three chances to name a character in the next Hench novel (Picks and Shovels, Feb 2025). There's also five chances to commission a Hench short story about your favorite tech scam, and get credited when the story is published.

The Kickstarter runs for the next three weeks, which should give me time to get the hardcopy books signed and shipped to arrive around the on-sale date. What's more, I've finally worked out all the post-Brexit kinks with shipping my UK publisher's books to EU backers. I'm working with Otherland Books to fulfill those EU orders, and it looks like I'm going to be able to sign a giant stack of those when I'm in Berlin later this month to give the annual Marshall McLuhan lecture at the Canadian embassy:

https://transmediale.de/en/2024/event/mcluhan-2024

Red Team Blues and its sequels are some of the most fun – and informative – work I've done in my quarter-century career. I love how they blend technical explanations of the scam economy with high-intensity technothrillers. That's the the same mix as my bestselling YA series Little Brother series – but these are firmly adult novels.

The Bezzle came out great. I hope you'll give it a try – and that you'll come out to see me in late February when I hit the road with the book! Here's that Kickstarter link again:

http://thebezzle.org

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/10/the-bezzle/#marty-hench

[nipuni]

Some various lighthearted life updates 🏃‍♀️

It's been a very busy last few months! in a good way mostly. We had a friend visiting us from overseas so we showed him around the city and took him to all our favourite places. We also met new people and were invited to a bunch of events so it's been very fun! We are all out of social battery tho so now we are slowing down a bit and getting back to work. Nicolas is on a short work trip to Berlin and I'm back to painting. We also started running! aaand we are also back to watching a bunch of shows and to me talking about it here to like five people 😌

Under the cut cause it's a lot as usual!

We finished watching S13 of Doctor Who! (we still have the specials to go but after that we are all caught up!) I haven't updated in ages so here are lot of opinions!

We really did not enjoy S11 😞 I was aware it wasn't very popular but we were hoping it was for all the wrong reasons, sadly we found many to be valid. Some of the episodes were baffling, Rosa? Kerblam?! the writing of the whole season in general felt like a rushed school assignment. The first part of Spyfall was a strong start for the next season but that ending in the second part was really not it. We did love Sacha Dhawan's Master tho!! and we really love Jodie too, 13th is adorable and reminded us of Ten at times! Jodie is such a fantastic actress that it makes the quality of the writing and everything else around her even more frustrating 😫 S12 was an improvement in general. In the last few episodes It felt like the writing team suddenly remembered the companions could have a personality and agency lmao. Highlights for us were Spyfall one, Fugitive of the Judoon and Haunting of villa Diodati, tho we did also enjoy most other episodes of the season despite their issues.

The timeless child plot reveal felt a bit underwhelming? The idea on itself has potential but it felt mishandled (and it had a bit of a Moffat flavour to it? and not in a good way). I think it was meant to add more depth to the Doctor's lore but in a way it ends up having the opposite effect. Then the flux was just a complete mess. It read like a Marvel sort of plot, very comic book like which is alright I suppose if that is something you enjoy but it felt out of place. But mostly it was just way too much, it got out of hand. Anyway we still have the specials to watch! and I think the Master is in them so we are looking forward to it 🥰

We also watched Broadchurch!! and we LOVED it. We ended up binging all three seasons. Chibnall's writing on this is surprisingly great and Jodie's acting is spectacular she really shines here. Olivia and David are always brilliant!! honestly everyone's acting was amazing. This series had us both tearing up every five scenes. The direction and the music are outstanding. I could watch Hardy and Miller solve crimes forever I really love their chemistry and dynamic. We went into it expecting the usual detective fiction but it ended up being a whole study on grief with such a focus on family and community and trauma and a ton of touching interconnected character arcs, just really really good!!

Then we also watched Taking over the Asylum!! MAN we were not expecting to have our hearts wrung out like laundry by this!! We thought it was a lighthearted show!! GOD we are still not over it, what the fuck!! It was so good we loved it!! but we were not prepared lmao what do you mean 'the end'?? we'll be thinking of this for months, I was expecting an extra scene after the credits or something. Excellent characters, refreshing depictions of mental illness and trauma and so crushingly realistic. Every character is so loveable I really wish this was longer 😭

And our quest to watch everything with David Tennant on it continues. We watched Decoy Bride on Valentines day too and it was terrible but such a hilarious fever dream kind of bad that it was fun, it has David on it and he never disappoints. I feel so lucky that Nicolas and I are both in love with him, get yourself a man who shares your celebrity crushes lmao it's so fun!! We feel like teens again chatting about him and drawing little hearts next to his pictures haha 🥰 We watched the BAFTAs just for him and speaking of the baftas!! I was not expecting that last drawing of his outfits to get that much attention oh my god 😭 thank you!! you are all insane and I appreciate it so much!! and thank you for all the support in general, about my art and photos and just everything. I feel very lucky and grateful 😭 anyway I'll end this before I get sappy, that is all for now! I hope this week is kind to you all, I'll be sharing some more art soon 😊

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twenty-Seven (Part 2)

Jude is on Skype when I get to Clontarf. I hear his smooth, low voice reverberate through the walls of his bedroom and I stand there for several moments trying to gauge whether or not he’s having the kind of conversation that I can just barge in on. I hear him laugh and say something that sounds casual rather than job-interview-like, so I push through the door. 

“Oh, Evie just got here,” He says to the person on call with him, “Do you want to say hi?”

Who wants to say hi to me? I gingerly place my bag onto his chair and perch on the bed with him. A wide, round face beams at me through the screen. “Well hello there,” the woman says, “gosh, what a beautiful girl!”

“Thank you,” I say self-consciously, tucking my hair behind my ears, and Jude puts his arm around me to kiss my temple hello. “This is my girlfriend, Evie, and Evie, this is my great aunt Maureen.”

“Oh, from America,” I say, which makes her laugh for some reason. 

“Well I’m happy to know he’s mentioned me!” She says, and she has a similar accent to him, or, maybe the reverse of it. An Irish woman who held fiercely to her Dublin syllables even after decades in America, even though that southwestern twang has crept in along the edges and slowed it all down so that she doesn’t sound in a hurry anymore. I bet it’s too damn hot in New Mexico to do anything at speed, including talking. 

“When will you come and visit?” She says then, and I don’t know if she’s speaking to him or me or us both, but I let Jude answer her while I sit there and feel like an alien. Nobody knows that I just bawled my eyes out at my therapist’s office and said that I said I constantly think about dying. 

“God, we’d love to. Maybe later in the year, do you think?” Jude is saying, “You know I’ve really been missing America lately.”

“‘Cause it’s been so long since you’ve come! Come for Thanksgiving, won’t you? I think it’d be perfect with all the kids around, although, you know, I can hardly call them kids when they’ve all got kids of their own. Evie, have you ever had a thanksgiving?”

“No, Maureen, I haven’t,”

“You’ll love it. Love it,” and in case I have any doubt about how much I’ll love it she and Jude proceed to have a lengthy conversation about all the food they used to cook together, pumpkin this and pumpkin that, I’ve never had pumpkin anything, and the alien feeling intensifies. 

The conversation moves onto other things then, and I get restless when Maureen starts asking Jude about his job search. He tells her what’s been happening, the interview with a prop place near Portsmouth that he didn’t get a good feeling from, his correspondence with another studio in London, and the interview lined up for Tuesday at another, and then I wait for her to say the inevitable, which she does, “Why don’t you just come to America?”

He starts telling her why it’s not an option right now while she reminds him of all the things he used to love about it before he was ripped out of his precious homeland by his evil parents and then I get off the bed and start picking items of his clothing off the floor and folding them away. I’m aware that obsessive cleaning is what my mother does when my father has done something to piss her off, and consider the value of bringing this fact to my next therapy session with Helen. Maybe she’ll have something enlightening to say about it. 

What’s so great about America anyway? I toss a rogue sock into his hamper. What do they have that we don’t have? Aside from like, semi automatic machine guns and UFOs? There’s so much stuff on this floor. I scoop up a pile of books and plop them onto his desk. Just because he’s American doesn’t mean that he has to just go back there. Why do people keep saying that? He doesn’t want to. He wants to move to London so I can’t see why people can’t just shut up about it. He lived in Berlin for four years, for God’s sake, so why is it inconceivable that he might see himself in-

“Evie, why are you cleaning my room?”

“Hm?”

Jude snaps his laptop shut, “I don’t want you to clean my room.”

“Did you hang up on Maureen?”

“No we said goodbye,” His eyebrow twitches, “She said goodbye to you too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear her,” I grab a Nike runner and then the other once I’ve located it under a discarded sweatshirt.

“Um, you can stop cleaning if you want.”

“Okay,” I find a place for them and stash them neatly at the bottom of the open wardrobe and feel his eyes on me. 

“You just kind of walked away mid conversation,” he points out delicately. 

“Well, it was your conversation to have. I didn’t think I was going to just, like, walk in on like that. I would have waited if I’d known. Gone for a walk along the seafront or something.”

“I didn’t know how much you didn’t want to talk to Maureen, honestly.” I glance at him and he looks hurt, which is too much to bear at the moment, so I grab a fistful of pencils and shove them back into an upturned pencil case by their side. “Evie, stop. What’s the matter?”

“Well I just had my first therapy session, and you didn’t ask about it.”

“I haven’t had a chance to, c’mere, tell me about it.”

“You knew I was there and you knew when I’d be back and you talked to your great aunt anyway.”

“She called me. I wasn’t going to not pick up on her, she doesn’t call me often.”

“Okay, well…” I can’t think of anywhere else to put my anger and end up channelling it into the zip of the pencil case, which won’t close around the pencils I’ve shoved into it even though there are way too many of them to fit. Jude has the audacity to take the whole thing out of my hand. “Stop cleaning,” he says firmly. “What is wrong? Come here, please, tell me about your session.”

“You think I’m crazy,” I say, because I’ve just been acting crazy. 

“I don’t. Come here.”

I don’t budge. 

“Evie.”

“Why is everyone insisting that you move to America?”

“What? Nobody is insisting that, why are you saying that?”

“Maureen just did.”

“She means it as a joke, she doesn’t think I’m actually going to move back, it’s just that she misses me, I suppose,” He runs his fingers through the front of his hair, “I was like her kid for a while and then I moved away, and I don’t go and visit enough, she’s just… well it’s just wishful thinking.”

“My cousin’s girlfriend said it too.”

He makes a face, “Your cousin’s girlfriend doesn’t know anything about me.”

“She knows that they make movies in LA.”

“Yeah, so does everybody, no prizes to her for that one.”

“I just think that you’re going to change your mind about London and you’re going to contact a studio in LA, it seems like an obvious thing to do.” I’m wound so tightly that I can’t even imagine trying to move my body. My hand is still frozen in a claw like it’s trying to force up the zip of the pencil case that’s now sitting on the bed out of reach, and Jude’s eyebrows fly up incredulously. “You told me to contact a studio in LA.”

“Have you done it?”

“I’m a bit afraid to say that I have.”

“Oh right.”

“For feedback. It was your idea.”

“Well you never said that you contacted them, it’s like you were keeping it a secret from me.”

“I would have if you’d given me a chance to talk to you, but you just came in here and started picking fights with me.”

“I don’t want a fight.”

“Then quit picking one.”

“How many places did you contact?”

He sighs, “Come on, Evie.” “No, how many?”

“Four, I think.”

“Four?”

“Yeah, four, and they haven’t responded yet, so there’s nothing to report back.”

“Okay, well, maybe they won’t.”

He leans onto an elbow and stares down at his nails, shaking his head, and I feel threatened by this. Is he angry with me? Disappointed?

“What?” I demand shakily. 

He purses his lips. 

“Jude, what?”

“Would you be pleased if none of the LA studios ever responded to me?”

“Would I be-”

“I mean if I sent emails to those places with a long enthusiastic letter tailored to each individual one, attached my portfolio that I’ve worked myself to the bone on for the last year, and merely asked for their feedback on it, would it make you happy if they all ignored me?”

I’m flabbergasted. That’s obviously not what I meant. “Of course I wouldn’t.”

“Okay because it just feels like you’re pretty relieved by the thought that none of them might want anything to do with me, and like, for the record, it’s not like I think I’m good enough to work for them, okay? I’m not that delusional, but at this point it feels like I’ll take any help I can get, because nothing is working out. I’ve applied for dozens of jobs this summer and I’ve heard nothing from the vast majority of them. They don’t even reply to me to say I’m not suitable most of the time, that’s how shitty they all think I am, so if the interview with that London place doesn’t pan out next week and nobody from LA comes back to me with a shred of guidance on my portfolio then I really don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s looking like I’ll end up getting some shit job in a fucking Aldi just so I have something to do with my time so it’s really great to know that you’re gunning for me to fail.” 

He flips onto his back with the heels of his hands in his eye sockets and lets out a groan of despair, “I’m not used to failure. I don’t know how to handle myself.”

I want to crumple to the floor in anguish. I am dreadful. Perhaps I should leave town and change my name and save him the effort of breaking up with me, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know- I should be more supportive. I don’t want you to fail. I only want the opposite.”

“Why did you come over if you were going to be like this? I was looking forward to seeing you and hearing about your session, and now…” He trails off, but he needn’t say more because I know what he means. I’ve taken what could have been a good moment and soured it because of the inherent ways that I am. This is the first crack, I think, the moment that I will look back on and think, yes, that’s when we both knew unequivocally that I’d make him unhappy. Perhaps, I think, I should get back on the bus and go back to Helen and tell her that I’ve changed my mind and I’d like to take pills after all, because being numb and sedated seems like a nice idea all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry Jude,” I whisper again, and I perch on the edge of the bed with my back to him because I can sense he’s doing that thing he does when he’s upset, where he shuts himself off to me and builds a wall around himself, and I don’t want to see that glazed, stony look on his face ever again. 

Except he isn’t doing that. His hand is on my shoulder, “Evie, c’mere.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry, can I have you?”

“Have me?”

“Yeah I just want to hold you for a while. I don’t want to be like this. I’ve had enough relationships where I fight, I don’t want it with you, please.”

This is new, I think, as he bundles me into his arms and lays down with me so that my face is nestled against his collarbone, the flutter of his breath in my hair, and there is nothing to look at so I close my eyes and breathe him in. “I’ve upset you,” I murmur.

“I’m alright, it’s just been a weird time,” he plants an almost impossibly tender kiss on the crown of my head, “and I’m edgy.” 

“I know. It’s fair enough. I really didn’t mean that I want you to fail , I want everything for you, I want you to succeed and I know you will, I think that’s why I’m scared, because the possibilities are so endless and your life could take you anywhere-”

“I don’t want anywhere I want here.”

Here feels pretty good, with our legs wound together and his heartbeat beneath my ear. The warmth and darkness he’s made for me in his arms is like a cocoon that I never want to emerge from. He squeezes me as tightly as his restraint will allow him, “Christ,” he says, “I love you so much it’s nuts.”

“I love you too.”

“It’s never like this, not with anyone else. I’ve never felt like this before. I want you to know how serious I am.”

“So intense,” I laugh into his chest and he squeezes an involuntary sound out of me and I squeak like a child’s toy. 

“I love you too much to fight with you. Let’s not do that again.”

“That’d mean I’d have to stop being insane, I think.”

“You’re not insane, don’t say that.”

“My therapist said that.”

“No she did not.”

“Okay,” I chuckle, “She didn’t.”

“What did she say?”

But I’m too cosy to go there right now. I snuggle up against him, and it’s the kind of embrace that makes it easy to forget that hardship and badness exists. “Hmm, I’ll tell you in a sec,” I promise, and bask in blissful feelings for just five more minutes. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[chiomaus]

heute ist es ein Jahr her, dass ich angefangen habe, Deutsch zu lernen

ich schreibe nicht den ganzen Beitrag auf Deutsch :p weil ich zu viel zu sagen habe

why did i start learning german? well, there was a german guy i was extremely fond of. so it just made sense to me to start learning the language. hearing someone you really like speak their language to you has a funny way of making you fall in love with a language. well 6 months later we broke up and i was left feeling very lost and lonely. i don't really talk about it much but it had a big effect on me.

but in that time i got to learn a lot about german language and culture. i spent a week in dortmund and visited the weihnachtsmarkt. i got really really into kraftwerk. i realised i didnt want to give up german. i guess part of it was trying to cling naively to something good from the break-up, but the other part was "german language is cool as hell."

am i where i hoped to be a year later? part of me thinks if i was more dedicated i could be soooo much better than i am. going to cologne on my own made me realise my listening comprehension is dogshit.

but on the other hand, my reading and writing is pretty good. my vocabulary is decent. i have a good memory for grammatical gender. i think my accent is pretty great. and maybe i'm not spending three hours every day studying diligently, but i have a daily study plan, i'm driven, and, most importantly, i'm having fun.

i think sometimes i forget that there is no omnipotent force judging me for learning for 1 year and not knowing X or Y. did i struggle a bit in cologne? yes. did i also get by just fine? yes. and very few people switched to english with me which i can only take as an endorsement.

it's very easy to be self-critical and to pick out the things you struggle with and take it as some kind of moral failing. at least if you have brain disease like i do. it's difficult to look back on where you started and appreciate your progress because you have no way to measure yourself. i guess now i will be able to measure my progress by whether my listening comprehension is any better next time i visit germany! (i am hopefully going to berlin in november with my cool friends)

what are my goals for the next year?

work on my listening comprehension with podcasts, tv and films (i should have started this sooner – futurama is really fun in german)

write more (i started a blog and have been doing some language exchange stuff). i'm still relying a LOT on dictionaries and grammar checkers, but i know these things take practice.

maybe think about finding a tutor. honestly i think this might be the way to go because i am bigly lacking in confidence (story of my life). there's also the option of doing a goethe course but 1) spenny 2) intense 3) my ability levels are all over the place.

try and make some german friends. this is hard enough in english tbh so i'm not counting on this.

get to a strong B1 or maybe even B2. the material i'm studying right now is B2 but i don't think any of my skills are that level. reading is probably B1, maybe writing, but speaking is probably not and listening is definitely not.

related: finish up learning A1-A2 flashcards (i am about about 2/3rds of the way through) and move onto B1. i haven't found a good B2 deck yet so i might have to construct my own from the goethe word lists.

get my head around prepositions and adjective endings (i will excuse a lot of the complexities of german grammar but i don't understand why adjective endings should be different depending on whether the article is definite, indefinite or null). these are definitely getting easier and i think will come naturally with more speaking/writing, but i have a few ways to specifically practice these areas too.

definitely visit germany on my own again (unless by some miracle i am in a relationship by then). i have a few places on my list but i will gladly take recommendations. i'm also tempted to go back to cologne because there's a lot i didn't have time to do, plus it's very convenient being so close to the ruhr valley (i don't drive so easy/fast transport links are helpful. i don't mind contending with the german train network).

ok das war's. danke fürs Lesen :)

[herrlindemann]

Orkus - 2000

Thank to ramjohn for the scans!

Rammstein have retreated to the truly flat country to work on their long-awaited third studio album: In Mol, Belgium, there are only meadows, cows — and one of the most modern studios in Europe.

"We didn't come here entirely voluntarily," Schneider admits to the handful of German and English journalists who came to the Belgian hinterland on the weekend of the EM final to find out about the progress of activities for the Rammstein album, working title ‘Mutter’, which is expected at the beginning of next year  — to be informed. “Our engineer Jacob Hellner, who was also responsible for the last two albums, is tied to the Galaxy Studios. The technical possibilities here are fantastic and the working atmosphere is great, but there is hardly any variety.” But that's easy to imagine, because the complex, which is just under an hour and a half from Brussels Airport, is literally on a green field: Mol is a small village with maybe fifty low-rise family houses that look like a cross between the sample catalog of the local builders' merchant and the clinker brick building of the North German lowlands. English lawns, psychedelic splendor of roses, strictly trimmed boxwood and garden gnomes included. The large, blue clinker building rises almost like a foreign body between gardens and pastures with strangely pig-like, colorless cows. Illustrious guests like the Guano Apes, dEUS, Die Krupps or Such A Surge have worked here, as have Joan Osborne, Lauryn Hill and the Kelly Family. Olli's old mobile home seems a bit out of place in the parking lot of the high-tech sound company. “Tomorrow we're going back to Berlin,” he says happily. “Then on to Japan, where we will play the old program for the last time at the Fudji Rock Festival. Then we come back here to finish the mixes.” However, a large part of the album was created in the spring for a good six weeks in a studio in the south of France. "It was fantastic there," Richard recalls, "the studio was idyllically situated in the vineyards, and we were accommodated directly on the property. Till recorded part of the vocals in the living room of his apartment there and we had friends and relatives visiting.” Admittedly, the Berliners didn't do badly with the accommodation in Belgium either: They reside about 20 minutes by car from the studio in the country, house hotel and restaurant 'Hippocampus', which is one of the best in Belgium, which really has a lot of culinary highlights is applicable. "The food here is almost too good," admits Olli. (Which the journalists were able to easily convince themselves of later at dinner in the same restaurant!) “Sometimes we cycle from the hotel to the studio to stay fit.” Not a bad performance at around 14 kilometers one-way.

“Otherwise we replay the EM games and work concentrated on the album.” Despite the grueling production, the guys look fresh and fit, if just a little bit excited: “You're the first to hear some of the new tracks,” says Richard. “We are curious to see what you have to say about it.” In addition to the journalists, representatives from the label's Hamburg and London offices have also arrived — no wonder he's a little nervous. But before the eagerly awaited listening session in the light-wood paneled control room with the estimated five meter long mixing console, a typically Belgian pastime is the order of the day: the studio's own chef has set up a veritable monster buffet — meat, pasta, salads, fish and seafood, for dessert: Belgian chocolates. Fed up and satisfied, journalists and record company staff push their way through the complex's complex corridors to the place of revelation. And they certainly won't be disappointed: three finished pieces and three more in the raw version are blown around their ears in two rounds with studio loudspeakers costing x thousand marks. First impression: breathless. Barring another catastrophe of the magnitude of a total hard disk crash (Hard Disc Recording!), this will be the most fantastic Rammstein album ever. Powerful and aggressive, yet more differentiated than Herzeleid, the new material leans more in the direction of Sehnsucht. ‘Sonne’, the first track, is a super-catchy banger with siren-like female voices in the background and an abrupt end: «Aus». More please! ‘Links’ hits like a bomb: Oskar Lafontaine's famous book title as an obvious dig at all the hostilities of recent years and next to it a puristic song in the best Rammstein manner - except for the bluesy (!) solo. And this piece also ends far too quickly: 'Left, two three four...'. The next track also has a controversial subject: this is about a priest who feels attracted to his young protégés, in proper style with sacred choirs and bells. The three following rough mixes are announced as not yet finished, but they also promise something outstanding: ‘Mein Herz brennt’ is already very epic and reminds a bit of Puff Dandy's famous collaboration with Jimmy Page, here Till acts as a desperate children's fright. With a long, melancholic guitar solo and distinctive string riff, this might be the longest song presented. ‘Feuer frei’ seems the most electronic with its EBM rhythm, but impresses with ultra-fat riffs and crazy guitar effects. But this track also has a short, quiet middle part with noticeable synth sprinklings. "Bang Bang", the end - Rammstein seem to develop a preference for concise closing sentences on this album... Stylized children's babble marks the beginning of the most unusual and lyrically most personal of the songs presented: ‘Mutter’. Melancholic and balladesque, it comes across as a private reckoning with a traumatic, motherless childhood — less aggressive than deeply hurt. Although of course no savings were made on hearty lines of text.

After twice a good twenty minutes it's all over; Still a little dazed, but visibly enthusiastic, the crowd of critics staggers back to the surface. Predicate: particularly valuable — it would have to be hell if Rammstein weren't able to underpin their position as the most influential German band at the turn of the millennium with this album. Although there could still be a few surprises waiting for us between what we have just heard and the finished product: “We will be more varied,” promises Paul and grins, “the album should contain both punk influences and hits.” There still seems to be a lot to come!

[faustiandevil]

Again not a translator by trade I just do what I can with the knowledge of the language only the Devil and Hungarians speak. I would love to get some notes, or help, because this one is full of misinformation in my humble opinion. So… uh… have the Youngkin book ready I guess…

Peter Lorre – the hero of horror movies is – Hungarian!

Talking with the famous actor’s father in Budapest

Slowly climbing our way up the snow covered street in Buda. We stop before a modest looking villa that stretches into a garden. Under the doorbell stands a small nametag:

LAJOS LÓRÁNT (Translator’s notes: Okay, so this article came out in 1947, after Hungary’s involvement in WWII… on the worst side possible and after the “liberation” by the Soviet army. Now it wasn’t uncommon for Jewish people to change their name to something more Hungarian for assimilation purposes. And during that time people who had a German sounding name could be deported back to Germany… even if they lived in Hungary for generations and had no political involvement in the war. The worse option was of course a brutal death. So that’s my guess as to why it says Lóránt instead of Löwenstein.)

Inside the warm room, among the heavy furniture we shake hands with a kind old man. With Lajos Lóránt, the father of Peter Lorre, the world famous actor, the big star of the so-called >>horror movies<<. We are talking about his son, who appeared in nearly almost every big European city, but his success reached its zenith in Hollywood. Old photos, yellowed articles emerge from the depths of the huge drawer. The past is mixed with the present here, the drawer shows us the ascending career path of a great actor.

– Peter was born in Rózsahegy (Translator’s note: If you are not Hungarian I guarantee you are pronouncing it wrong.), but he was still a child, when we moved to Vienna. He studied there, – the old man’s eyes start to shine – he graduated with honors from the Wiener Handelsakademien. For a short while he worked at a bank, but his dream, to become an actor, didn’t let him rest behind the boring desk of the foreign exchange department. With his young friends he organized an experimental stage, where they performed commedia dell arte plays. – they failed with it. He first performed in a serious play in Breslau, and from here his journey lead to Zürich. (Translator’s notes: If anyone could add more to these please do so. I don’t remember anything about either places.) Then he performed in Vienna with astounding success, then he went to Berlin. There he was spotted by Fritz Lang, who contracted him for the main role in >>M<<. The peculiar movie became a world hit, and with certainty established Péter’s career as an actor.

A faded newspaper, with yellowed edges comes out from the drawer now, the first Hollywood article, which was written of Peter Lorre.

>>…Peter Lorre – states the article – doesn’t hold onto the hundreds of critiques, he only put away one. That copy of the Times, where Chaplin has said that he has seen >>M<< three times and that he considers Peter Lorre the best European actor.<<

After the nazis seized power Peter Lorre has also immigrated, first to Paris, and then to London… The great actor was received with a warm welcome by the free people of the free countries. In London with one of his roles he won the English producer’s first prize, which is equivalent to an American Oscar. (Translator’s note: What?) Mr. Lóránt is now telling us about an episode in London:

- There was a group that got together in London, the immigrants, we went there together with Péter. (Translator’s notes: The story makes it sound as if papa Löwenstein was also there with him in London, but he wasn’t… as to my knowledge… anyway let’s continue…) One day a producer has joined us, he also came from Germany. He told us of an interesting and a typical incident. When the nazis took over the UFA studio, one day Goebbels visited the ateliers in Neubabelsberg. Everyone was there to see the >>tall<< visitor. Then Goebbles had asked: - Tell me, you had once a great actor… a sort of short little man… Why is he not here? - Minister, there’s a bit of a problem with him… - Problem?! What sort of problem?! I can smooth it over! - I’m afraid, Minister, that this problem cannot be fixed. - ??? - Minister, with Peter Lorre the problem is with his… religion! Goebbels straightened himself out, and his expression turned dark: - I no longer know this man! (Translator’s notes: Not a loss if you ask me. Burn in Hell nazi scum~)

Newer photos emerge, these are from America. Success, after success.

- Does your son write often? - Oh, of course. Always with such love and would love for me to move out to him. There’s a possibility it’ll happen around the summer. And he always writes in Hungarian, always, and he always states he is Hungarian. (Translator’s notes: Again what??? Man didn’t speak the language, but he could write??? That’s new info for me… but in a previous one we were also told by papa Löwenstein that he hates writing letters and would rather call home instead… I do feel validated tho, because yes Hungarians ride horses and women, man did not deny his roots. If anyone calls him a different nationality from here on I will be collecting kneecaps just saying.)

Our time is up, the photos and articles go back into the drawer. Mr. Lóránt puts away even the smallest paper piece with such great care, as if it were expensive porcelain.

Original article by György Gaál.

Text under images:

In the first movie, in the main role of Fritz Lang’s drama >>M<<

With his father, in 1930, at Siófok (Translator’s notes: Uhhh… in the previous one I translated this image was said to be taken in 1921 Budapest… Did papa Löwenstein remember it wrong, it has been 10 years and I’m unsure how old he was at this point… He could’ve just misremembered, or the journalist made an error. Either way I feel gaslighted. If anyone knows if he took any vacays near Lake Balaton lemme know.)

With his wife in Palm Springs. The white horse was a gift from Robert Taylor

[tennisarchives]

1, 22 and 23 💕💕

1. Song of the year?

well officially (according to spotify) it’s shakira’s bzrp music sessions vol 53 lmaooooooo

but! i would have to say love from the other side by fall out boy. first of all i love fob like that was my childhood fave. and second of all, there’s this line in it that goes “what would you trade the pain for? i’m not sure” and like. that hits me idk. like i really connect with the idea that it’s my pain that made me who i am today. and this year has just been a happier one overall for me and part of that was bc some choices i made while in pain snowballed into being able to live out experiences i wouldn’t have had otherwise. so yeah idk i just love this song so much and i got to see it live recently which was amazingly satisfying

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

berlin! i went there on a study trip this summer, and i just had so many core experiences that i’ll treasure forever. and also as someone who lives in a very car-centric place, being able to get around via public transporation was super great :)

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

chin up. this year will finally feel like a real one.

[morgenlich]

i definitely do feel that tech companies calling everything AI is not like a conspiracy theory so much as them trying to cash in on the latest Cool Thing, and i think that’s an important thing to say bc i will not stand for conspiracy theories, though the way some people act about AI (in the industry or not) really does make me want to pull my hair out….i see ppl sharing news articles on reddit and then using chatgpt summaries to describe them all the damn time and it’s like…ok so are you reading the article? or are you doing one step more than just reading the headline?? assuming the summary is even accurate anyway…. and every new pc wanting to call itself an AI PC ™….do you like copilot? no? too bad that’s all we want you to use for anything anymore……

(and ethics etc aside, like, it’s too early in the game for these so-called AI products to even be good anyway….)

and it’s frustrating bc i feel like i am constantly begging for ppl to acknowledge situations have Nuance bc AI Bad as a blanket statement is not. good. especially coming from people who don’t know anything about ML. ML has a lot of very good, very practical uses, and it’s been used for years! identifying cancer cells, that one australian team that trained robots to id and kill crown of thorns starfish to protect the great barrier reef, etc etc.

even generative AI i’m hesitant to put a blanket ban on, because i have seen it done well, when i visited the charité museum (of all places) in berlin last fall—

(though i dislike the big, popular models for all the obvious reasons)

[blueberry-beanie]

Half Moon Run at Festsaal Kreuzberg, Berlin | 30th Sept. 2023 | photos by me

A little tale of a great concert with Half Moon Run and Flyte, and of spending a day in Berlin with Andrey the next day. I've divided the text into sections for you to skip to the best part.

Ich will nicht nach Berlin

Berlin has a special place reserved for me in its heart. However, it's not a place of love or appreciation, but a place of chaos and unforseen little catastrophes. This is why I barely wanted to get out of bed on Saturday morning to catch my train. For god's sake, I thought, as I stood sandwiched between other travellers in the second overcrowded train of the day, this city already hates me before I even get there. Of course, that had more to do with the prolonged weekend for German Day of Unity than with Berlin, but still.

Other than that everything went smoothly. The weather was really nice. I was even on time and had a good meal at the Vapiano in the main station. The hostel was fine, although I lost my way a little bit when trying to find it. I put on a new necklace I had bought while waiting for a connecting train and made my way to the Festsaal Kreuzberg. Of course I could not find the location right away as Google Maps lead me into some weird inner yard with loads of graffiti. There were several venues and some outdoor club as well and it was all situated near the river.

Wagenburgen and queues

Since there was no queue I decided to take a stroll along the Mauerweg near the river. Many people had the same idea as me because it was a beautiful Saturday evening. There is some sort of hippie camp in this park called the Wagenburg and people were making music there and dancing. When I returned, there was still no queue. However N had a little heart attack for me, because a certain satirist decided to appear after five months of silence to promote a demonstration against right wing politics. While I was still happily grinning like an idiot, I noticed a photographer and three guys across the street near the venue. I think it must have been the band taking some photos but I did not try to approach them.

People only started arriving half an hour before doors. And right away a young woman called Marianne joined me. She is a big fan of Half Moon Run and had never been to their concert because the band had never visited her home country Mexico. So now she was excited to finally see her heroes as well as their opening act Flyte. She was soon joined by Laurits, who was equally nice. He is actually a big fan of Flyte, so the evening was just a perfect opportunity for them.

The venue itself is actually quite beautiful. It was bigger than I anticipated with an entrance hall that also hosted the merch stand and the cloakroom. The concert hall had a balcony and a podium with red sofas. The three of us secured great spots at the middle-right of the stage. The stage itself was not separated by a barrier so we would have the best possible view.

When I decided to avoid the overcrowded merch stand at the end of the concert, Berlin intervened again and decided that today is not the day for card payments. So I had to return to pay for the album with cash a few minutes later. That was another girl's luck because I gave her the missing money for a t-shirt and and thanked me around forty-two times and immediately paid it back via Paypal. Then it was time to sit on the floor for a while longer and wait until the concert would begin.

Flyte and Half Moon Run

Around eight o'clock Flyte came on to play an acoustic setlist for us. The duo from London consists of the songwriters Will Taylor and Nick Hill. Both of them seemed lovely and have wonderful voices. The songs were calm and dreamy, some a bit sad, others hopeful. They were accompanied by some little stories and funny jokes and overall the audience seemed to love them. I soon realised that the lighting engineer was enjoying themselves with many colourful and moving lights, so I decided to take quite a few photos of the band. I tried out three different prisms to achieve a wide range of effects and overall had a wonderful time.

Then the "living room concert" was over and roadies came onstage to arrange everything for Half Moon Run. We were on Conner's side with the keyboard right in front of us. Dylan's drum kit and keyboard were situated in the middle to the back of the stage and Devon would play on the left side with his drum already set up next to the mic stand.

The band started with You Can Let Go from their current album Salt. It was a perfect opening and I enjoyed it right away. It was followed by one of my favourites, Hotel in Memphis. I was very happy to hear another favourite, Narrow Margins, as well. I realised quickly that everything sounded amazing and that the band hadn't lost any of their power or stage presence, despite of now being a trio. The last time I saw them in Manchester in 2019, they still had Isaac Symmonds as their fourth member, who has since gone solo.

What has not improved, however, is their lighting. It is a rare case when the support act has better lighting than the main band. It was cool and it did fit the songs but it was really dark, unpredictable and a nightmare for taking photos. The other thing I didn't enjoy was the overpowering bass for the likes of Salt and Alco. I think it did not fit the songs and made them less fun to listen to.

On the other hand, the performance of Devil May Care was just lovely. Just as in Manchester, the band gathered around one microphone at the front and sang together. The last song before the encore was She Wants to Know and the crowd went absolutely crazy for this one. Overall, the older songs sounded a bit more rounded and thought-through in my opinion and it was wonderful to hear them live again. The encore started with Favourite Boy and I really got nostalgic because that was the first song I heard live when they played in London at Rough Trade East. I instantly fell in love with it back then and listened to it a lot during my time in London.

Their last two songs were Fire Escape and then of course Full Circle, the ultimate banger. However, we cheered so much that they had to come back one more time to play a final song for us, Need It, another one from their first album. And that was it - the final bow and the lights came up again. Marianne, absolutely overjoyed for the entire concert, caught one of Conner's picks. The setlist went to another girl, but that was alright too.

Happy endings at the merch stand

We went to the merch table because the woman working there had told me earlier that the band may come out. But first there were the two lovely guys from Flyte. Laurits had the time of his life with his heroes, they gave him a hug and took the cutest photo together with their heads resting on his shoulder. They looked like old friends! Overall such an extremely lovely band. If they had any of their albums there I would have bought one. But instead I only told them that I enjoyed their show and that their lights were beautiful. Apparently the lighting designer had been allowed full artistic freedom. I told them that I had a lot of nice photos and they encouraged me to share them later. (They actually did see and share the photos today, which is really lovely!) Then, when almost everyone had already gone, suddenly Devon and Dylan appeared out of nowhere. I actually wouldn't have noticed them right next to me behind a wooden counter if Marianne hadn't exclaimed that they were there. "Wow, where did you come from so fast?" I asked them in surprise. Devon was actually being cheeky and replied "Oh why, we're actually quite late." They first attended to Marianne who was absolutely overjoyed to talk to them. Then it was already my turn and I asked them to sign a CD for me and Devon inquired about my name. So now I have two personally signed Half Moon Run CDs already, yay! I told them it was great to see them again because the last time was in London and Manchester four years ago and Devon agreed that this felt like an eternity. Both of them were kind enough to pose for a photo and I thanked them again and stepped back to allow others to talk to them. Marianne actually ended up going back again to take a photo and the night was already more than perfect.

Nighttime fries

Marianne and Laurits decided to walk me to the nearest station at Treptower park. We talked about concerts and bribing band members with chocolate. Marianne made me laugh a lot when she complimented my "dancing" which is really just me vibing to my favourite songs. I can't dance at all. Because their friend didn't pick up the phone to arrange a meet up they asked me if I wanted to grab food with them. Actually I was very hungry and had nothing at the hostel, so I thanked them and agreed. We went back to Jannowitzbrücke and found a Döner that was still open. After some fries and cold drinks we parted with hugs and I walked back to the hostel to shower and fall into bed.

I have a special place in Berlin's heart - part two

Berlin truly loves me. After around four hours asleep I was wide awake at six in the morning although I only had to leave at ten to meet Andrey. Andrey is a friend of N - he is originally from Moscow but he came to Berlin to live and work in his dream city. He's been here only for a bit more than two months and already feels like a local, walking around in Treptower Park and picking up all cats in a five kilometer radius daily. So I thought, to avoid getting more of the wrath of Berlin, I should team up with someone who loves this city as much as it loves him.

As it turned out, that was a brilliant idea because even with Andrey by my side, we were not in luck that day. It already started with me somehow going to the wrong station, getting lost while explaining to a foreign tourist couple how they shouldn't get lost, and then discovering that my coat had some stains while trying to navigate to his house. Even at his house when I rang the doorbell I somehow managed to run up the wrong staircase, resulting in him being very confused where I disappeared to.

Andrey is a lovely and very outgoing person who is excellent at leading conversations and navigating through the city. An overall well-mannered and lovely guy who makes you feel very safe and relaxed. I am not sure whether he got that part or whether my jokes about how easy it would be to abduct me because I have no sense of orientation unsettled him. In any case we could not have breakfast at the coffee shop he wanted, so we walked to an alternative.

I must confess I have never had breakfast with someone at any bakery or anything. Closest would be some sort of brunch I had in Vienna last year, but that was more like lunch already. Here we had a bagel for me and some eggs for him as well as chai latte and orange juice. The breakfast was tasty, but two wasps agreed that Andrey was much tastier than the breakfast altogether. The poor guy had to battle with them until one fell into my orange juice and flew off after a rescue with the straw.

We talked about a wide variety of topics the whole day as he is a very chatty person who always comes up with something new to inquire about. After the breakfast we took a train to the Museumsinsel where the Pergamon is situated alongside other museums. If Berlin hates me, the Pergamon hates me just a little bit more because this has been at least the fourth attempt to visit it - and it did not turn out again. In fact we could not visit any of the museums because the entry was (almost) free that day. That means that everything was completely booked out.

Berlin zoo and miso soup

I suggested to go to the zoo instead and Andrey agreed. I hadn't been to a zoo since childhood and Andrey had not seen all of it during his last visit. On top of that the weather was absolutely perfect. We took a bus to the zoo and could skip the queue because I had already bought the tickets online. The zoo was well-attended, but not overcrowded at most places. We saw many cool animals, including monkeys, owls and an elephant up close. The elephant was eating acorns and it was amazing to see such a huge animal up close. Meanwhile Andrey insisted that it would be better to have the lions closer and that petting the jaguar would in fact not be dangerous for him. I shocked him a bit with dark humour about bitten off hands or broken bones but I think he was still alright because it was compensated by some compliments about his beard.

We didn't get to see a lot of the pandas and no snakes at all because they were in the aquarium for no reason, but instead we walked for quite a bit to get to some Japanese restaurant that served miso soup. We had to eat in a hurry and our plan of calling N while waiting for food did not work out. We instead called her on the way back to his apartment, where we had left my backpack. It was too short and too chaotic but better than no call at all. Thankfully we made it to the main station in time. Here we were greeted by another special kind of luck only I bring to this city: There were huge queues outside the grocery stores and we had to buy insanely pricey drinks at subway. We parted with a hug and I felt a bit sad and empty to be alone so suddenly after a whole day with such engaging company.

Maybe the drunk guy at the platform thought the same, so he immediately began to follow me around and harrass me literally two minutes after Andrey had gone. This city really loves me... Thankfully I got into another train compartment than him and had a calm journey. There were no significant delays or anything on my way back - on the contrary: My acquaintance and evening show co-mod from the radio was in the same train back home and we travelled the last part together.

Dear Berlin, I had such a wonderful weekend in your city - I just wish you would show me more love. Maybe we should do couple therapy together? I would surely love to come back to see another concert and maybe say hi to Andrey once again. See you soon!

[continuing-studies]

Go to Asia with your family: Today was a good day

Since departing with a baby and a toddler on a three month journey far away from home, a lot of people have been asking my partner and me what it's like to do all this traveling with two small kids. It's not just our friends asking. We've often gotten the same questions from people we've met while we're out and about wearing our kids on our bodies, carrying all their stuff, and doing whatever we've decided to do that day.

Like most aspects of having children, traveling with them is.... different. For a start, as two working people, neither of us is used to spending the whole day with our kids. As troubling as this may sound, that was actually what I was the most worried about before the trip. In Berlin we rely heavily on daycare to store positive parenting energy that can then be discharged in the afternoons and evenings when we see our daughter for the first time in 7 hours.

Turns out, spending every day together has mostly been really fun (phew). Looking after a 2 1/2 year-old and her baby brother all day is still a lot of work. The thing is, the hard parts really aren't that much different whether we're at home or somewhere else in the world. So while each day for us still typically includes its fair share of little kid problems, we've still been enjoying a lot of what travel typically has to offer. If you are the type of person who likes the experience of traveling (we both are, not everyone is and that's okay too!), doing it with your kids is just another thing about your life that changes when you have them.

This next post talks about the experience coming to terms with that realization while on a beautiful island in Thailand. Be sure to read until the end for the true story of what happened at the end of one of our beach days last month. I think it sums everything up quite nicely.

Sunday 12 February 2023

Koh Lanta

The great sage Ice Cube dedicated one of the most famous hip hop songs in history to the importance of appreciating when one has had a truly good day.  A lesson to live by — especially when one’s days consist of looking after small children and all of their attendant hopes, dreams, and physical needs.

Going on a beach vacation with kids has necessitated coming to a new understanding of the word “relaxation”.  To begin with, Zara and I aren’t really used to taking trips where the goal is do nothing.  Before kids, it was common for us to fill a weekend or 5 day or 10 day trip with as many highlights as we could comfortably (and sometimes not-so-comfortably) see during the time available.  Maya slowed us down a bit, but not that much if we are being honest.  On the trips we've taken since she was born, we were consistently going on some adventure or another almost every other day.  Partly out of circumstance, both of our trips back to the US with only one child have featured significant to-ing and fro-ing, as we try to pack in as much time with family and friends and other special people as possible.  And the first month of this trip was like the Pakistan version of those visits to the US.

So as much as we were looking forward by the end of January to the promise of our month on this very relaxing island, I think it took us a few days to really come down.  The same may well have been true for Maya and Camino.  What I can say is that few things feel less conventionally relaxing to an adult than feeling irritable while cajoling a misbehaving toddler through a succession of beautiful and interesting places where you can’t stop thinking about how you really should be having a better time.  For all the heroes out there who cast dirty looks at parents struggling to manage their kids in public situations, I can guarantee that no one is having a worse time than the parent who is the object of such foolish and undiscerning scorn.  

After a few days of feeling this frustrating dynamic repeat itself (minus the dirty looks — people here are nice), I think a few things happened.  First, I asked myself if I really wanted to be the person I was seeing myself become.  Toddlers need boundaries, but at the same time I knew that we had to find an outlet for Maya’s physical energy that would be more fun than getting annoyed over and over at her frequent testing of limits.  Second, I think we had to discover a good routine here.  We started doing some "yoga" on the beach in the morning, which involved some actual yoga and a lot of redirected toddler energy, but overall it set a good tone for the day.  Hanging out at the beach and doing yoga were two things that I was looking forward to about being on this island before we came here.  Each day spent without doing yoga and without enough beach time therefore made me feel as if I was missing out, further fueling my cycle of being a grumpy papa on vacation.  

Finally, I think it dawned on Zara and me that we had to accept the pace of this trip for what it is.  I spent the first few days here feeling various additional levels of FOMO from looking around at all the interesting places to see on this island that would be either impractical or impossible to explore with our children at their current age.  The best way to get around Koh Lanta is via motorbike, which plenty of families do but is not really something that we have a desire to try.  We needed to acknowledge that against all of our previous traveling impulses, we would have to be okay with not doing as much on this trip and just be a little bit more strategic about what we do want to see. 

Which brings me back to Ice Cube.  Since adjusting our expectations of what we will manage to see and do while we’re here, we’ve discovered more of the charms of Khong Klong than ever.  On Friday (maybe it was Friday?) we decided that our big adventure would be to walk slightly further down the beach to a slightly different beach bar with slightly different loungers and hammocks, affordably priced food and drinks, and all of the other key features of just about every beach bar in Koh Lanta.  Zara had spotted this one a few days earlier after yoga and noted that the abundance of umbrellas would make it a good place to try if we wanted to go for a full day at the beach.  So we left in the morning with all of our beach stuff in hand, and a plan to stay out as long as we were all still having a good time.  I brought Maya’s backpack so she would have a place to take her nap in the middle of the afternoon. We prepared as many things for both Maya and Camino as we could possibly think of.  And I gotta say it was a good day!

Maya is a lot of fun right now at the beach.  She’s really into her sand toys, and loves filling the bucket with anything from sand to rocks to water to, naturally, a combination of all three.  She also really likes going into the water with us, and so far it’s been a good place to teach her about some important boundaries.  It would be interesting if there were any scientific information on how many times various guidelines about safety must be repeated to a child between the ages of 2 and 4 for them to reliably internalize it.  But it’s been cute and reassuring to hear the way that Maya, who is repeating everything right now, repeats lessons like “watch out for rocks in the water!” and “only with mama and papa in the water!” to herself even when I am not putting her on the spot.  In all, the combination of perfect sea temperatures and Maya’s general willingness to take safety guidance has made going into the ocean together a great experience that we can share.  When I’m lucky, after we’ve been in the water for a while Maya will go play with her sand toys on her own and I can submerge my entire body in the waist-high shallows of the water while watching her from a distance.  I keep hearing that parenting does get easier.

We went on like this for the entirety of Friday (?) afternoon - me getting into the water with Maya, us playing in the sand together, me washing off again in the ocean and relaxing while she busies herself with sand, us going into the water together again, walking back eventually to Zara after I’ve had enough and then letting them repeat the process together after a while.  We had managed to score a great home base on two loungers underneath an overhang, where we were fully shaded until the sun started to dip over the western-facing sea in the mid-afternoon and gradually chased us back.  All day we ordered a succession of fruit shakes and pad Thai and had a nice view of the comings and goings of this interesting beach.  Camino, for his part, seemed to have an enjoyable day lying in the shade while playing with sensory toys and getting his bare body cooled off with water every hour or so.  He got to go in the ocean a couple of times too.  Like his sister, he seems to really enjoy water.

That night I brought Maya back from the beach far past her bedtime, carrying both her and the backpack (why?) and also pushing our stroller.  Zara had gone home earlier with Camino, wearing him home in the wrap after he’d had some trouble going to sleep.  Maya and I had stayed late at the place we had wandered to for dinner, running around with Nola and Juno and the nice Swedish-American kids that we met on the beach earlier that same day.  By the time we walked up the hill to Pinky it was almost 21:30 and I was tired physically from carrying Maya and the stuff home for almost 20 minutes, but lifted by the adrenaline of a day where almost everything went right.  We read books and had a nice bedtime together. 

The next morning we continued our beach routine and had another really lovely time under the shade of a banyan tree at Meeting Point, the closest beach spot to us at the opposite end of Klong Khong.  In the evening, we went back to the beach to get some barbecued tuna.  We let Maya roam naked on the beach for awhile as she played with her toys.  We ate at a table in the sand.

At some point I stood up and saw what looked to be a small brown turd.  I immediately thought the worst, but Zara confidently reassured me that it was not from Maya.  She pointed toward the three dogs from one of the beach bars that were running around.  Both of our stress levels were starting to rise with the sound of Camino fussing from again being overtired.  It must have been one of the dogs, she insisted.   Zara said she was sure Maya hadn’t pooped on the beach.  I thought it unwise to push back any further.  

Clearly not fully sure of herself, Zara went to ask Maya if she needed to make poo poo.  It was at this point that Maya pointed back in the direction of the turd and Zara’s adamant denial was overridden by the rapid realization that Maya really had pooped on the beach.  She came back and told me the news.  I tried not to gloat about being right.  I was busy soothing Camino, so she was the one who had to use Maya’s toys to clean the turd from the sand.

Parenting.  Sometimes you have a great day and sometimes your kid takes a poo on the beach.  Sometimes, these two things happen in the same 24 hours.

What better metaphor exists for the experience of having small children?

[notesonartistry]

Hello as someone who is very well travelled I have a question for you?

Which of these cities would you rate top 3 to visit

london, manchester, dublin, paris, berlin, amsterdam, brussels, barcelona, lisbon, rome

Asking for a friend dreaming about eras europe

Ooooh, it depends to an extent what you enjoy doing and when you'll visit. If you're dreaming of Eras Europe then let's assume summer. I'll also assume you've never been to any of them before.

I haven't visited Lisbon, Berlin or Amsterdam (I want to visit all 3 in the order I wrote them). I was supposed to go to the Lover show in Lisbon and I'm still bitter because it looks like an amazing city with gorgeous architecture.

Barcelona is one of my favourite cities - nice weather, cool architecture and parks, beaches, delicious food ... mmmmmm! And of course footie! What more could you want?!

Dublin is great fun too, lots of pubs if you like a night out. The city is pretty, the people are very friendly and there's lovely outdoors stuff to do (a higher chance of rain than some other cities though!).

London and Paris have something for everyone, and they're cities that I think everyone should visit at least once. There's cultural stuff, touristy things and so many beautiful parks. I loved Paris (especially the Sacre Coeur). They're both quite expensive though.

Rome, I've only been to very briefly, but obviously it has loads of cultural stuff too. Who could say no to all the historic sights, nice plazas and yummy food!

Brussels has cool architecture and squares too, and tons of range in beers and chocolates to try! It's also super connected for exploring other towns/cities.

Manchester has been redeveloped a lot since I visited and it has a great nightlife. I don't think it lives up to some of the other cities you listed, but it's a long time since I was there.

I failed spectacularly at choosing a top 3, sorry anon! In fact, I nearly added extra cities that I love! But maybe my info helped you think about which is best for you. Cost might also be a consideration.

I think this ramble of a post probably demonstrates my 'problem' with travelling - there's too many good places ... but on the plus side, hopefully that makes it more difficult to make a mistake in choosing!

[jpwenvs3000f23]

Unit 01: Describe your current relationship with nature. How has this developed/evolved? Who offered you “a sense of place,” as described in our textbook?

Disclaimer

This blog was created for ENVS3000, at the University of Guelph. 

The opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of the University of Guelph. 

The University of Guelph is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by this blog.

Growing up on the outskirts of London, UK meant that we did not necessarily have a direct connection with nature. However, thanks to my parents, they made sure that me and my siblings had our fair share of walks in the Surrey Hills which are large areas of fields and woodland not too far from us. As a child, I enjoyed these walks by running everywhere, climbing the trees, and playing hide and seek. Every summer we would go to the south of France and enjoy frequent visits to the beach. Although, as I got older I felt I became less interested in going outside because I preferred indoor activities. Since COVID though, I felt I had some catching up to do with the outdoors. This became even more desirable as I got older and became more independent, meaning I could go on holidays with my friends. This included the coastlines along Spain, Italy, and Croatia. Above all, my favourite type of nature would be up in the mountains and/or lakes, which is one of the main reasons I chose Canada for my year abroad. It may be due to being a foreigner, but I believe Canada and the US to be the most beautiful part of the world. I am very excited to visit some of the natural landscapes here and see wildlife that is not found in the UK. I would also say that my growing love for nature is due to my love for photography. I really enjoy taking photos of landscapes which are hard to come across in England.

The first picture shows Bushy Park, London

The second picture shows Box Hill, Surrey Hills (southwest of London)

Despite this and my desire to live in another country after university, I will always feel a great admiration to the local places back home such as Bushy Park because it is where I have grown up and created many childhood memories. There will always be a stronger sense of belonging to those places compared to other magnificent places I have visited or will visit. I am still very eager to see some national parks like Algonquin, and the Canadian Rockies. I find experiencing these places of nature more exciting, but also calmer than cities like Berlin and Paris. I believe this is due to living quite close to London where it is hectic and too fast-paced. There needs to be a sense of balance when visiting places, and I am hoping I can find that in Canada this year.

[wind-becomes-lightning]

Hello there, Nisi! I am a newish follower (who is astonishingly not a porn bot!) and see that you are from Germany. I am American but visiting Berlin for the first time this summer. I’m very excited! I thought since you seem pretty friendly that I would ask if you had any recommendations for a person to see/do in Berlin. If you’ve never been (or just don’t want to answer a non-Naruto question), don’t feel obligated to answer. Thank you and have a nice day!

Hii first of all welcome and I'm sorry for everything you have to witness here!

Uh, then second: dont go to berlin. Its expensive and big and loud and people are rude and the city is dirty. I swear I went last year again because I thought maybe I remembered it wrong, but no, still a shit city, sorry Berlin.

But, if you cant divert to a better place (cologne for example) I can tell you some things we did when we went to Berlin in July (my boyfriend is polish and had never been)

The parliament building's glass roof: A really cool thing about the german parliament is that you can go up the roof, which is a big glass bowl that lets you walk up and gives you a nice view of the city.Entrance is FREE!!! but you have to register your visit online first, because there are limited places available. Its absolutely worth it was by far the highlight of our trip. I recommend taking one of the free audioguides because it was very interesting. You can also do a tour of the building which we personally did not so I cant say much about it

I know Americans are not the biggest walkers because they are used to driving around in cars,but I would recommend walking the entire way from Alexanderplatz (which is the one with the big tv tower) to the Holocaust memorial / Tiergarten. You can walk passed what people call the "muesum island", the berlin opera, then you walk down "unter den linden" towards the brandenburg gate. It full of touristy stuff if thats your sort of vibe, my bf made us go into one of those fake bavarian restaurants that serve a maß bier lol. Then the brandenburg gate and from there to the left you find the Holocaust memorial (or you just continue on to the big Tiergarten park / the zoo). I think its an hour walk tho. Bf and me did it several times when we were there.

The holocaust memorial: I assuem thats on the bucket list anyway and its hard to miss. Its worth walking through and letting it all uh.. impress you. Its very well designed to make you feel uneasy when you walk further and further inside. Just note that taking pictures like selfies and shit IN the memorial and climbing on top of the stones outside of the memorial is seen as very rude. If you find it there is a museum underground but ive never been.

Topgraphy of terror: Its another historical place related to the na zi empire etc. Its all outside, you can just walk along it and read along. It goes along a piece of the berlin wall.

The East side gallary: Very famous part where the Berlin wall has been left standing so that artists can spray paint it etc. Its larger than one would think and walking down is very nice. Its also suuuuper touristy and full. The shopping center that is near has a great Japanese Ramen place LOL

Ok the other thing that people like to visit is checkpoint charlie because it was the checkpoint between the american and the soviet sector and history happeend there when the cold war almost became a very very hot war but uh its boring, its tiny, there are soo so so so many americans aroudn LMAO. Walk past if you are in the area otherwise just look at pics online, its not worth the time

With Museums I just dont know that well. I have never visited the museum for the Berlin wall because i know most of the stuff (oops history degree), I dont visit the pergamon museum on the museums isalnd because a lot of items there are stolen and should be given back (tho I did go to the British Museum in londn too so maybe I just dont wanna overpay for entry LOL). The Museum for East germany was real nice and interesting but full full full full you could hardly walk. However Berlin has a Video Games museusm that has tons of games to play so that was a lot of fun.

The Tempelhoferfeld: when east germany was still a thing Tempelhof was its main aiport. Its now unusued of course, but the entire rollfield and such is still there! On nice days is a hotspot for people to just chill out a little or have a bbq.

I personally have not been but if you want you can visit Potsdam which is close and has a nice castle I think

General advise: use public transport. Uber is not permitted in Germany and taxis are overpriced. public transport is everywhere, especially in berlin. Just buy a pass for a few days or a daily pass or if you want to walk a lot just a single fare ticket but use public transport. They run up to late hours.

Airbnbs are not allowed in berlin so if you find one to book its breaking the law and ... like i would generally advise to just not xD

Also, not to be mean, but americans are LOUD in public and easy to hear from miles away. I dont know what it is that makes them feel that they need to scream at each other, but if germans stare at you that might well be it. Also we arent nearly as obsessed with WW2 and thanking the troops as americans are, idk you, but there wont be any veteran discount or some shit :D ive seen people complain about that on the internet if you believe me

phew this is long, my apologies. if there is something else you want to know you can message me again.. or like message me again anyway because i would be interested to know if that helped in any shape or form.

[jennystahl]

*oliver twist/charles dickens orphan boy voice* please dany i want some more…. in depth lore posts about your call of cthulhu hotties 🥺🙏🥣 background, career, personal relationships, fears, etc 🦑

MIDGE, born Marjorie, is a librarian at Miskatonic who also now owns her family's antique store. She's 34 as of 1926 and her main goal in life is to discover why her parents were murdered in that very antique store fourteen years prior. She was a fencer in her youth, still keeping up with the practice; she's quite adept. She studied medieval history at Miskatonic and got lucky to be employed in the library there once she graduated. She employs people to run the antique store (Tales Retold, or just the Templeton Antique Store) while she works or is off researching. As of right now in our timeline, she's in Berlin, following a lead on her parents' deaths and getting into all sorts of culty trouble with Wilhelmina Engel (belonging to @newbordeaux). She speaks fluent German and owns a lot of scary artifacts, the vast majority of which she knows nothing about.

DOVE is a gun moll through and through. She's 25 as of 1926 and lives a life of fun and vice, and she loves it. She met her gangster boyfriend, Elias, three years ago and whether it's a lifetime sorta thing is yet to be seen...but as of now, she loves him and she loves his money (yes, separately), especially since she came from poor stock in Providence. She has an older sister called Birdie that she still talks to, and she sends letters to her parents on occasion, but for the most part she can be found in her fancy apartment or in the numerous speakeasies she frequents, with or without Elias. She got brought into the horrors when she was called to New York to help with a distant relative's legal case...turns out she's heir-bound to a centuries-old blood curse that requires her to wear a special ring at all times lest she release a dimensional being hellbent on killing her and all of her relatives. All of that, and she didn't even get the curse's benefits.

GERRY, born Geraldine, is a sweet waitress who moonlights as a singer, but she's no flapper. She's a farm girl, young at 21 in 1926, who comes from a huge family in Missouri, and she escaped as soon as she could. She came to Arkham because it was as far as she could afford. Her singing name is Billie Dove, and that coincidence is how she befriended Dove, who frequents the bar that Gerry sings at every couple weeks. She lives in a boarding house, scraping by with tips from the diner and what she earns singing. Safiya (@newbordeaux) is her best friend, and they met when she came into Gerry's diner; that is, the diner Gerry works at, which is luckily owned by a kind man called Charles. She found a weird bag of marbles there once, and she'll probably learn one day that they're cursed as she continues down the path of horror and terror that Safiya started by mistake, visiting a house that proved to be both haunted and cursed. She's seen a previous crush and neighbor flay himself alive then turn into a monstrous creature, so she's a little unlucky in love.

STEVIE, born Stephanie, is Gerry's great-granddaughter with Arthur (another of @newbordeaux). Her hobbies are photography (her mother is a professional), cooking, and her rifle. She's 26 in 2019, the year of The Horrors with her best friend, Selena (again, @newbordeaux). They know that their great-grandmothers (Gerry and Safiya) knew each other, but they don't know about The Prior Horrors quite yet. She and Selena met as middle schoolers and became fast friends. In high school they started an early-years YouTube channel, full of cringey stuff... After graduating college they decided to revisit their YouTube channel, becoming urban explorers. She's a park ranger at Muskana Reservoir (former site of Dunwich, among other towns, as well as many horrors) so she has access to a lot of creepy places. They're quite successful with their channel, and it's one of these expeditions that leads to their experiencing of the nightmare. Cults of the color out of space and sunken Dunwich buildings and old cursed texts are what await her and Selena. She shouldn't have done so much research on cryptids during her college years.

[buckaroobuck]

Okay one more ask then I'll leave you alone lol (unless you don't mind talking german stuff) Are there any particular places or sights you'd recommend to someone visiting? Like something they really shouldn't miss out on while in Germany?

I love talking about German stuff! Keep in mind that I haven’t been to Berlin since before the pandemic, so not sure if all my recs are up-to-date, but these were my favorite places when I lived there:

Teufelsberg is one of my fav places on earth! It’s an old listening station from the Cold War built on top of a giant hill of WWII rubble covered in greenery/forest that’s basically been turned into a shrine to graffiti (which btw is everywhere in Berlin, the street art scene is incredible there) and it’s a fun hike to get to the top

Hamburger Bahnhof is a very cool contemporary art museum with a bunch of weird installation art, also one of my fav places

All the museums on Museum Island are great, and the Berliner Dom is there too if you want to go up to the top for a view of the city

Brandenburger Tor is a great landmark to see, and if you go at the right time there are cool events around it (I went to a projection art festival there and it was amazing)

The Holocaust memorial is very powerful, as is Topographie des Terrors, which is an incredible indoor/outdoor museum that I would highly recommend

For shopping, the Mauerpark flea market has great stuff and is huge (would recommend learning enough German to haggle!)

If you like contemporary theater, Schaubühne is great, and the opera and ballet companies are very good if that’s more your thing— tickets can be cheap depending on where/when you get them and if you can get a student or senior discount

Not sure how the nightclub and bar scenes are rn but I would recommend trying to find a local source for those if you’re into that! The “big ones” generally aren’t worth the cover price (and if you’re American you can’t even get into some of them on principle lol), so try to find some hole-in-the-wall types if you can

I don’t have any specific restaurant recommendations (except maybe the rotating restaurant at the top of the Fernsehturm if you want to be a fancy tourist), but make SURE you get some Currywurst (there’s even a fun museum around the food) and some Döner! Berlin has a lot of great Turkish food and some fantastic Vietnamese as well. If you want classic “German” food, go somewhere that says they serve southern German food (from Bayern aka Bavaria)

There are also a lot of awesome parks in Berlin if you want to hang out and look at dogs or kites or stuff like that, it’s a super green city! Tiergarten, Treptower Park and Tempelhofer Feld are all great, and the Botanischer Garten/museum is lovely (I went there a lot since I lived close by)

And finally, if you’re anywhere in Germany around Christmas, go to a Christmas/winter market! Beautiful (often handmade) things to buy and so much delicious food, I miss those a lot

These are all just from my experience being there! If you want a really robust tourist experience I recommend looking at one of Rick Steve’s guidebooks :)