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#and realized its only a matter of time
sansxfuckyou · 2 years
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patiently waiting for AI text generation to remove the need for anyone to ever need fic writers to exist because they can just load up a prompt and watch it happen in seconds instead of waiting weeks, months even, for a fic to update or for their favorite author to upload, kind of like the AI art debacle
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deoidesign · 22 days
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Wearing your boyfriend's jacket
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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mewtwo24 · 9 months
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I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.
Turns out that was a perilous mistake.
Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me
What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:
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LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"
The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--
How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls
And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:
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Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.
Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)
Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:
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Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me
Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:
I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.
And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...
I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.
How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.
Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.
#svsss#bingqiu#moshang#i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change#also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content#the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing#mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other#how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer#how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal#how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him#SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S#it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like#mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms#okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem#really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing#the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan#that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace#over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it#the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form#how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment#how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are#how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them#how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them#ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry#as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance#that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression
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tacagen · 3 months
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
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((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
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but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
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(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
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#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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pillowzilla · 2 months
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Did it ever matter?
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oceanwithouthermoon · 6 months
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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hecatialapis-lazuli · 3 months
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i feel like I've talked about this before but I wish blazblue dipped more into the horror of the situation. Whether you wanna go cosmic or existential both kind of work, though I guess the theme is a bit more despair than horror? Those two feel like they marry together pretty well.
Like. Think of CS. You have Noel, becoming what she always was, something inhuman. Literally screaming and crying after having the truth of the world and the PFDs revealed to her. You have Ragna, also learning the truth, and that he has tried so, so many times and failed every single time. You have Terumi, relishing in the hopelessness that should cause, yet being just as stuck as everyone else, and painfully aware that if he wants out of this hell, he has to claw his way out.
Idk, I just think there's a lot of stuff in blazblue that lends really well to horror. There's already themes about loss of autonomy, just play a little more into that, emphasize the helplessness before the Master Unit, and then the satisfaction of finally being free.
Hell, the Master Unit/Origin still is sympathetic in this interpretation. She's suffering, she's not doing anything out of malice, she just wants to be a person. Not even the Origin is immune to the horror of being a thing, strung up to watch and desperately try for another ending this time. This time, it'll work.
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it's looking like a restless night for me once again and i can't lie at least half of that is the fault of me thinking too hard about how memory worlds work
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gleamer · 9 months
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Realistically, I can’t commit to a simblr story but like… what if I post random scenes and just write lil synopses under the cuts?
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possamble · 3 months
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Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.
I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."
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#asks#a little creature#im SO glad you pointed out how falin was the first to pine and chase but was discouraged#its a very very important part#i think a really common wlw experience is to internalize that first rejection forever#whether it came from the object of your affections or an outside observer#the first time you encounter disgust for what felt like just happiness and affection#it stays with you. it can turn into a cage for the rest of your life but what you dont realize is that#at some point youre strong enough to open the door for yourself and you have to be able to do it#ironically ive only been the perpetrator of this platonically#pushing away my friends and hurting them bc i didnt think that i mattered enough to affect them#romantically ive been mostly on the other end just begging a girl to meet me in the middle at the very least#because even if they feel intensely as i do its not fun to chase and chase and get nothing bc someone else in their past was cruel#so it dhsjjd shows up in my writing a lot#self loathing as a queer experience is almost universal. but are you able to stand up and grow beyond it? because you need to.#staying locked in your own head and never looking outwards is just another kind of selfishness#i dont always try to do it but lmao my writing almost always touches on this at least a little bit in various degrees as like#maybe my best attempt at a compassionate way of portraying this self-erasure as a kind of selfishness that needs to be addressed
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deoidesign · 10 days
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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pant--eater · 2 months
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I've seen plenty of autistic Wallace headcanons (DESERVED because that man is Autism Incarnate. He also gives me low empathy energy, which makes me happy because it's so rare to see low empathy heroic characters in media 💖)
and I've yapped a lot about autistic Mr. Tweedy before, so now imma throw to the table the girl with croissant hair
🥕🥕Autistic Lady Tottington 🥕🥕
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hyperfixates on vegetables. Girl dresses up as a carrot for the fair and has a whole ass fancy royal greenhouse dedicated for veggies. Queen shit 🎉 Hell, all of her outfits are somehow nature inspired and I hc she sews many of them herself! :> Ask her about growing them, fertilizing and reaping, and she will NOT shut up. (also yes my Willace hc still stands that after some first inital difficulties, she and Mr. Tweedy become besties who infodump to each other about veggies and apples respectively <3)
Just like Wallace with cheese, her safefood and continual samefood is vegetables. She was that rare child who always ate her greens LMAO and preferred them to candy
Animals and caring for them is absolutely another hyperfixation point!! Her mansion after the movie's events becomes a bunny haven and she grows rabbits, both as pets for herself, and to give them away to people that she trusts would be caring owners
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She also has a soft spot for other creatures too that are seen as pests or otherwise disgusting, and will always be open to adopting them instead of letting them get killed. Such as rats, cockroaches, ants, possums, raccoons, you name it.
(in fact Nick and Fetcher have more than often crashed in her place LMAO, pretty much using the mansion as a midway resting location, during their big trips to the mainland from Chicken Island. And I imagine they would at some point tell Ginger about Totty, which makes Ginger and the chickens wonder that maybe not all humans are evil to animals!)
Totty has a very strong extreme moral drive, and stirring away from it upsets her to the point of tears. (protecting innocent animals and getting rid of pests in humane ways, no matter how dangerous the situation gets. It does get irrational sometimes but she just can't bring herself to see any sort of critters in pain 💔💔💔💔THIS LADY HAS A BIG HEART OKAY???) She tries her best to make Lord Victor bend to that and be kinder to animals, even if that asshat is a lost cause.
The videogame adaptation also mentions she is a vegan, so she def gets massive discomfort from eating anything animal related
Her kind and forgiving, sentimental nature sometimes makes her stress herself out and put her energy to people who don't deserve it. It's clear that she is not happy with Victor, but she stays and tries to make it all work with him, because she wants to believe she can change him and bring out a kind man in him. (Girl please, your "I can fix him" game is off the charts) And she only dumps him for good once he crosses a line and tries to kill Wallace. Heck, maybe she does not have many genuine friends, also due to her noblewoman status being intimidating to many :( And that's also why she stayed with Victor, and it wasn't until meeting Wallace and Gromit that she was able to get out of the toxic relationship.
Victor clearly sees her as naive and annoying for her autistic quirks and personality during the movie, and is only after her because of her status, money and looks. Reducing her to a trophy. If that ain't a relatable autistic experience I don't know what is
In my hc universe she does not get romantically involved with Wallace. I know Aardman likes to shiptease them as canon and I don't have a problem with it, it's cute! I just personally prefer them as platonic friends, especially since the Were-Rabbit movie subverted the "love triangle" and "nice guy gets the girl" tropes where the whole punchline was that Totty in fact did NOT marry Wallace after him pining for her the whole movie, and it was so refreshing to see. Especially since Wallace was not upset at all about being rejected!! We stan a king 🫶🫶🫶
The whole scene of Totty going "I have caught feelings for you" was, in my hcs, Totty being comphet :''') 💔💔💔She has grown fond of Wallace because he is the first man in a long time who does not treat her like a pretty prize like Victor. And poor Totty, being the affection starved girlie that she is, who also has grown in a heteronormative British noble society, thinks that it means automatically romantic feelings. PLUS she is very touchy and affectionate when it comes to interacting with people she likes, so it's easy for people to mistake it for romantic interest
Either way she and Wallace are very good friends with autism 2 autism solidarity, and THIS SCENE LEGIT MAKES ME SO HAPPY, Totty showing her appreciation by copying Wallace's stim <3
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adhderall · 11 days
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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termagax · 1 month
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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druidshollow · 9 months
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"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO
(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)
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#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff#i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view#have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though#purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly#anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world-#but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership#him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though)#but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built#her (glass) just to be mean to rivers#doomed for real#i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because#he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company#theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build#the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly)))#this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them#odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die”#nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us”#anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt.#kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude#i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him#because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his#files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t#but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible#and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them#hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways#oc posting#look to the tags for the oc posting
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