#and sausage knows that but hates the idea of killing and eating something that will cry out in pain

[whimsicaltwine]

Sausage: I can talk to animals, so I'm a vegetarian because to me, eating meat is very morally wrong it's killing a person for food

Lizzie: hello, welcome to animalia, where everyone is an animal. here's our butcher shop where we kill and eat chickens

[theemissuniverse]

“A BETTER MAN” BI-HAN X FEM!READER

SUMMARY : After you get hurt with a mission gone wrong, Bi-Han is more gentle with you and it weirds you out. (Also this is like before Bi-Han becomes a back stabbing bitch to everyone LMAO)

A/N : I have NOOOO idea what happened to me (if y’all know me y’all know I do not like sub-zero) but I finally realized I think I do like him. I just don’t like the way some of y’all write him 💀 (ngl this is one of the best things I’ve ever written plot wise I think)

WARNINGS: (MDNI)! f receiving oral. I’m pretty sure that’s it. Nothing major happens lmao

MASTERLIST

You were the best female Lin Kuei warrior. The very best but you had gotten hurt badly trying to stop Shang Tsung. He was about to kill your fiancé Bi-Han but you had stopped him.

This resulted in you getting severely slashed on your stomach and needing stitches.

It was hard for you to even walk but you knew you had your duties to fill with not only the clan but around the house. So, you did so.

It was early in the morning. About seven in the morning. When you woke up, you realized Bi-Han was not in bed with you. You cursed at yourself. You knew he would be mad that he had woken up and not been served breakfast.

You got out of bed and put on your robe to cover yourself. You immediately went out the room and headed towards the kitchen.

When you did, you realized you smelled something. Food. It smelt of sausage and bacon. Eggs and French toast. The French toast had caught you off guard because Bi-Han hated French toast and always made you make pancakes.

When you walked into the kitchen, you saw that Bi-Han was getting a plate ready. You couldn’t believe it. He actually cooked?

Bi-Han didn’t have to turn around to know you were behind him. “Good. You’re awake.” Bi-Han placed the plate on the counter and motioned for you to take it. “Eat.”

Was this a dream? Did he take a trip down to the Netherrealm and freeze hell over?

You blinked your eyes, severely confused at your fiancé’s actions. He had never done this. Ever.

“You know…I could’ve made breakfast.” You said, believing that he had made it because he was mad at you. “All you had to do was wake me up.”

“I wanted you to rest.”

Rest? He wanted you to rest?

Bi-Han motioned for you to take the plate, a little annoyed you hadn’t taken it. “Stop standing there looking stupid and eat.”

Never mind. He was there.

You hesitantly took the plate and sat at the table. “I didn’t even know you could cook.”

Bi-Han rolled his eyes a little but didn’t say anything. You cut a chunk of the French toast and bit into it. When you did, all the flavors of the syrup, the cinnamon and the powder danced on your tongue.

You could not believe it. He was a better cook than you.

“This is amazing. You cook better than me.”

“I know.” He simply said.

“No need to be cocky.” You told him. Then you had realized something. Why didn’t he cook then? “Why do you let me cook for you if you know you can cook better than me?”

Bi-Han started to put dishes in the sink. Without looking at you, he replies. “Because you like to cook for me.”

That warmed your heart a little. Bi-Han was willing to put up with your very medium like cooking over his far better cooking just because he knew you enjoyed cooking for him.

You always liked cooking for your man. It made you feel useful to him. It made you feel like he needed you.

But the truth was he didn’t need you as much as he made it seem.

You watched as Bi-Han started to do the dishes. If there was one thing Bi-Han did not do was dishes. Ever. Not even to wash simple silverware for himself. He hated doing dishes.

“It’s okay, Bi-Han. I can do it.” You said, standing up from your chair.

“Sit down and eat.” He said while still not looking at you.

Okay, this was entirely too weird for you. You knew there would be hell if you did not listen to Bi-Han so you sat down and ate the rest of your breakfast.

As he did the dishes, he spoke. “What do you want for dinner?”

Another thing you found weird. Bi-Han always picked what you guys ate for dinner. You getting to decide was definitely almost impossible. “Whatever you want, Bi-Han.”

“I’m asking you for a reason. What do you want?”

“Um…I don’t know. Maybe spaghetti?”

“I’ll be here later tonight to cook it.”

Okay this was getting too weird.

You finished eating your breakfast. You then took your plate to the sink and were about to wash the plate but the sound of Bi-Han’s voice stopped you. “Put it down.”

You did as you were told. You put the dish down in the sink and he started to wash it. You started to feel his forehead for any sign of him being sick. “Are you feeling alright? It’s really ice of you to do this today.” You knew that bad pun was going to annoy him and you wanted to test him.

“Funny.” He said with a complete straight face and zero emotion. The thing was, that was his way of laughing. So, he technically just laughed at what you said.

You were absolutely shocked. You removed your hand from his forehead. “Don’t tell me your Shang Tsung and are pretending to be my cold hearted fiancé.”

When you had mentioned him being cold hearted, he stopped what he was doing for a moment. It was like what you had said really stung him.

He regained his composure and finished with the dishes. He then turned off the sink and dried his hands with the cloth next to him. “I’ve got to handle a few things. Are you okay with staying by yourself?”

Bi-Han had never cared for you to stay in the house all by yourself. At all. Again, also very weird. “Yeah. It’s just a few stitches. I’ll be fine.”

His eyes darted to your stomach. The robe was covering it. Bi-Han undid your robe and pushed it back slightly. You were in your black bra and underwear.

You thought Bi-Han was in the mood and wanted you. But he didn’t. He stared at the big slash on your stomach. Then he placed his hand gently on the scar.

He stared at it for a few moments like he was thinking of something. Then with his other hand he rested his hand on your lower back. He brought you close to him and gave you a kiss.

The kiss was very slow and passionate. You were surprised at how gentle he was being. Like if he had made one wrong move, he’d hurt you.

His lips kissed your cheeks and then down to your neck. He didn’t kiss you in a sexual way though. He did it in a very loving and comforting way. You sighed at the feeling of his lips on your body. It was nice.

He kissed your shoulder then finally looked back in your eyes. “I’ll be back.”

You were standing there still a little shocked. “Okay.”

He gave you one last peck on the lips before grabbing his mask on the counter and leaving the house.

Well today was getting to a weird start.

Later that day, you were in the house, sweeping the floor in the living room. Even though you were in a lot of pain, you still liked to clean up a bit so the house didn’t look like a mess.

Probably was a bad mistake.

The door opens and closes and you continue sweeping. Bi-Han made it to the kitchen, setting his mask down on the counter before walking in the living room.

When he sees you, he’s enraged. “What are you doing?”

You looked at him a bit confused. You always took care of the house when he was gone. “Sweeping? What’s wrong?”

Bi-Han snatched the broom from you and threw it to the ground. “Go lay down in our bed before you pop your stitches open.”

You gave him a look. You weren’t some damsel in distress. You weren’t weak. You could handle some stitches. “I’m fine. I can do a little sweeping. It’s not going to hurt me.”

Bi-Han took in a very deep breath. In and out. As if he was trying to control his temper. He then pointed to the room and motioned for you to go in. “(Y/N). Do not make me ask you again.”

“Well technically you didn’t ask me in the first place. You told me.” You grumbled under your breath a little and left the living room to go into the bedroom.

You laid down on the bed. You couldn’t understand it. What the hell happened to your very grouchy fiancé? I mean he was still grouchy but it was different.

After a few minutes, Bi-Han came into the room. He sat on the bed and took off his shoes.

Bi-Han then took off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. You watched as he changed into his pajama bottoms and took his shirt off. Then he placed his pajama shirt over himself.

“I’ll cook in an hour.” He told you before climbing into bed.

You didn’t even want to question him about it anymore. “Okay…”

You then started to think. Maybe Bi-Han was being nice to you because he wanted something. The behavior was just a complete 180 and you couldn’t buy into it.

Bi-Han had grabbed his book from the stand and was starting to read.

You sat up a little and went to his side. You kissed his cheek softly. You kept doing this until he had turned his head to kiss you on the lips.

Again, this was not his usual roughness. It was sweet and gentle. Like you were made of glass.

You kissed him more passionately. Bi-Han let the book fall in his lap and cupped your face as he kissed you.

The kiss started to turn more heated. Bi-Han gently laid you on the bed so you were fully on your back. He kissed your neck and sucked on it only a little.

You moaned at the softness of his touch. Your hands immediately started to go to his pajama pants. That’s when Bi-Han stopped you.

He pulled away from kissing your neck and removed your hand from his pants. “You have to rest.”

You didn’t want to rest though. You wanted him. “It’s okay. I’m fine. I want you.”

Bi-Han didn’t seem sure of this but started to open your robe. Then he took your underwear off.

He then got down between your legs and started to eat you out.

You gasped at the feeling of his tongue licking your heated pussy. It wasn’t exactly rare for Bi-Han to want to eat you out but it’s not something he jumped to do.

His tongue circled your clit. Then his lips started to suck on it at a good speed.

Bi-Han made sure to hold your thighs tightly in place so you didn’t move. He continued to suck on your clit, causing you to let out a whine.

He gave it a break and started to lick in circles before slurping up all your juices as they ran down his chin. He would’ve put his head farther in you if he could.

“Bi-Han.” You moaned out. You played with his hair as he ate you out. You pulled on his hair so rough that his hair tie used for his ponytail had come out.

Bi-Han continued to devour you like you were his favorite thing to have. He did it in soft, subtle motions so he could savor you on his tongue.

He lifted his head up from your pussy. Then he hovered over you slightly. He licked his fingers and immediately went to your clit where he began to rub it in circles.

You moaned loudly at the new speed he was going. He made sure to rub in fast and harsh circles.

Bi-Han felt himself grow in his pajamas at the sight of you. You were a mess. Falling apart on his tongue and now on his fingers.

When you tried to reach your hand to touch him, he removed your hand with his free one and continued to play with your clit.

You wondered why he wouldn’t let you touch him and you were going to ask but as soon as you tried to ask a familiar feeling in your stomach started to come onto you.

Bi-Han licked his lips as you scratched at his bicep for some type of release. He knew you were close. “You look so good like this.”

Bi-Han was never really a talker during intimacy so the fact he said something turned you on even more and made you feel closer.

Your fingers dug even more into his arm but Bi-Han did not give up on his pace. “I’m so close. Please.” You begged knowing that any time you came, it was on his command.

“Give me a kiss and I’ll let you.”

That was shocking. Bi-Han never kissed you during intimacy. He leaned down to your lips and you leaned a little up. You lips touched in a slow and passionate kiss.

You whimpered in his mouth. Bi-Han took that to his advantage. He sucked on your bottom lip slowly until it made the ‘pop’ noise when he released. You moaned.

Bi-Han started to kiss and suck on your neck not even thinking about breaking his fast pace he had on your clit. Your fingernails dug deeper but this time you drew blood at the scratching you did.

He didn’t have a reaction to it. None at all. He continued to suck on to your neck sweetly. You knew hickeys were going to be there in the morning.

“Oh, my god. I’m almost there.”

Bi-Han stopped the pressure on your clit. You were about to swear at him but he immediately went between your legs again and started to eat you out once more.

You moaned at him sucking on your clit. You let out a high pitch squeal. He made sure to hold your thighs in place tightly again.

“Oh yes. Bi-Han.”

His tongue licks your pussy up and down before focusing his attention back on your clit. He continued to suck and lick all over it in a face pace motion.

“Oh, Bi-Han. I’m cumming. Yes. Please. Yes.”

Bi-Han ate you out for the entirety of your orgasm. Too much so that after you were done, you were pushing him away because your clit was too sensitive. “No more. No more.”

He didn’t seem like he wanted to get up. He brought his head up from your pussy and looked at you. “Aw, you can’t give me one more?” His fingers went inside of your pussy and started to pump in and out of you. “Are you giving up on me?”

After you came for the first time, Bi-Han never cared to go another round at it. Again, something that was very unlike him.

When Bi-Han saw you running away from his fingers, he chuckled. He took his fingers out of you and licked all over them.

He got off the bed and went inside the bathroom that was connected to the room.

When he came back, he had a hot damp facecloth. He placed it over your head and grabbed the blanket.

Extremely weird. Bi-Han never cared to give you any type of aftercare after sex. It wasn’t like he didn’t care. He just did not understand what it meant to women.

He was going to place the blanket over you but then he saw it again. Your stitches on your stomach.

He bent down to your level and lightly touched them. Careful not to hurt you. You watched him as he stared at them with an unreadable expression.

Bi-Han took your right hand. He kissed your knuckles before standing back up. He placed the blanket over you. “I’m going to go cook dinner.” Then he walked out the room.

You stared when he did so. Everything about today was weird but you didn’t hate it.

You believed that after you were healed, Bi-Han would be right back to normal. That wasn’t the case. At all.

It had been three weeks. Yes, Bi-Han still was the same man with an attitude like no other but he showed his affection towards you almost everyday. That was something he never did.

The last straw was him doing laundry. He never did the laundry. Never. Ever.

As he folded the clothes and placed them on the bed, you marched in the room, right behind him. “Okay. Tell me what’s up. What happened to you?”

“What are you going on about?” Bi-Han questioned you as he continued to fold the clothes.

“Ever since I got hurt you’ve been cooking, cleaning, being all sweet and now you’re doing laundry. Laundry.”

“You’re mad that I’m being nice?”

“No. I’m not mad. I’m just confused.” You placed your hands on your hips as you looked at him. “Do you find me weak now? Because of how badly Shang Tsung injured me?”

Bi-Han shook his head as if he couldn’t believe you would insinuate that. He still didn’t look at you. He continued to fold the clothes. “You think I would be with a weak woman? You insult me.”

You walked over to Bi-Han. You placed your hand on his arm and forced him to look at you. “What is going on with you? I want answers.”

Bi-Han sighed. He stopped folding the clothes. He didn’t want to look at you. “Why did you save me from Shang Tsung?”

You gave him a look. That’s what this was all about? You took the clothes from his hands and placed them on the bed. “How could you ask me something like that? Because I needed to. Because if I lost you then I’d lose myself. Because I had to. Because I love you.”

The two of you did not throw around the L word lightly. It was only said during precious moments. Bi-Han bit his lip and for the first time, did not have a snarky remark for you.

He still did not raise his head to look you in the eyes. He crossed his arms and stared at his feet. “Why did you say yes?”

You looked at him a bit confused. “Yes to what?”

“When I asked you to marry me. Why did you say yes?”

“I just told you I loved you. What more of a reason do you need?”

There was silence. He tapped his foot on the ground. If a pin dropped then it would be heard. “Did you say yes because you felt like you needed to or because you wanted to?”

Bi-Han wasn’t one to show emotions. You saw the sad look on his face and you couldn’t help but cup both sides of his face with your hands. “Why are you asking me this, Bi-Han?”

He removed your hands from his face and sat on the bed. He still didn’t dare to look at you. Just kept his eyes at the ground. “I know I don’t treat you like how you’re suppose to be treated and I’m sorry. I don’t know why but…something in me hates any type of idea of love. I want it but for some reason I can’t show it.”

You listened to his words carefully. You didn’t interrupt him. You sat down next to him on the bed and he continued to speak. “But then you saved me. You risked your life for me. I almost lost you. I don’t want to go on with my life knowing that…I could treat you better.”

Bi-Han admitting to all of this was honestly a shock to you. Even though Bi-Han could be a little mean sometimes, you knew he meant well. That’s what you grew to love about him.

You placed your hand on his back and rubbed it gently. “Bi-Han, why did you propose to me?” Bi-Han looked at you as if you were stupid and when you saw the look, you gave him a look of your own. “You asked me stupid questions so I’ll ask you stupid questions.”

Bi-Han rolled his eyes slightly at you before looking away. “Because you make me happy even when I try to be unhappy. Because you calm me. Because you’re my peace. Because I love you.”

Every time he told you he loved you, you felt butterflies. You grabbed a hold on Bi-Han’s hand and interlocked your fingers together. “Yes, I will admit Bi-Han…I do appreciate the recent attitude change but I don’t want you to lose yourself in taking care of me.” With your other hand, you grabbed a hold of his face so he could look at you. “I need you to take care of yourself too. I need you to care about yourself.”

Bi-Han looked deeply in your eyes like he was falling in love all over again. He cupped the left side of your face with his left hand. “I will.”

You gave him a kiss on the lips. He kissed you back, deepening the kiss. The two of you kissed each other like your life depended on it.

Bi-Han pushed all the clothes off the bed and gently laid you back on the bed before getting on top of you. You giggled. “What about laundry?”

“What laundry?” He questioned you while kissing your neck.

“Take a chill pill frosty the snowman.” You joked. You knew that would irritate him. He immediately stopped kissing you and got up from you. He then started to walk out the room. “Where are you going?” You asked, sitting up a little.

“Away from you.”

You laughed and threw yourself back on the bed.

Yup. He was back.

[gnpwdrnwhiskey]

biscuits & blowjobs

Pairing- Jack Daniels x ofc!SunDrop

Word Count- 750ish

Warnings- I apologize for the misleading title, there are no actual blowjobs. Only referenced and/or implied ones. But there are biscuits. And two idiots in love as per usual...

Author's Note- this is part of a longer story that I'll probably never finish (because I don't really want to) but I saw that cabin pic and it was pretty much perfection so yeah, here we are....for anyone following along, this is way way back at the beginning of things for these two.

He's seen behind the facade now, he knows there's more to you than the pencil skirts and the sky high pumps. But he'd never seen you looking as lost as you did standing there at his front door with your suitcases in hand, telling him you officially had a week before you had to report back to headquarters and you probably shouldn't, but you wanted to spend as much of it with him as you could.

So he'd done something impulsive and swept you out of the city and taken you to his favorite place- a simple little log cabin nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains.

"You didn't bring me here to kill me and hide my body did you?"

"It would've been easier to do that in the city, honey," Jack laughs.

You still haven't moved from the entryway while you take in your surroundings. Small kitchen with eat in dining, a decent sized living area taken up by a massive leather sofa facing a stone fireplace, stairs leading to a second floor loft area that you assume is the bedroom.

"So this is just- what? Your secluded little love nest? You bring all your conquests here?"

"No, this is just my retreat from the world, SunDrop. My safe space to be away from everything and unwind. Just peace and quiet. Besides family dropping by occasionally, you're my first guest. Ever."

"Jack....then why...."

"Because,” he sighs, coming back to where you still haven't moved and pulling you into his arms. “You’ve told me damn near a million times how much you hate the city and because you said this thing between us has an expiration date, right? So if we've only got a week, I don't want any distractions."

You don't even make it upstairs that first night.

You wake the next morning to the smell of coffee and bacon and peel yourself off the leather sofa to pad over to the kitchen where you're greeted with one of your new favorite sights- Jack in warm cotton and soft flannel cooking breakfast. The man makes the fluffiest biscuits and the best sausage gravy you've ever had in your life.

"You ready to share your biscuit recipe yet?" You ask, walking up behind him at the stove and wrapping your arms around his waist, going up on tiptoes for a second to kiss the back of his neck before stealing a piece of bacon and moving off to pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"Not even close, sunshine." Jack laughs. "Eggs and bacon will be up in a few minutes."

Coffee poured, you hop up on one of the stools at the island and spin around to take in the view from the kitchen windows and munch on your bacon. Extra crispy, just the way you liked it. Can't say the man hasn't been paying attention.

"So where are we?"

"Tennessee. Not too awful far from Gatlinburg."

"And what are we doing here?" You ask, spinning back to the island and watching him plate breakfast.

"Anything you want? The place is stocked up, we can stay in all week if you want."

"Hmm....tempting as that idea is, what are my other options?"

"Well, we could do the tourist thing- go wander around Gatlinburg or over to Dollywood."

"Pass," you say, wrinkling your nose in distaste. "Something more low-key maybe."

"Okay, it's the weekend so the farmers market is open, there's a flea market near by if bootleg DVDs and knockoff designer handbags are your thing. Couple antique mall junkhole places," Jack shrugs.

He'll take you to any and all of them, just to spend time with you. Time for playing it cool is over, every second counts and he wants to make the most of them.

"My sisters like all the little boutiques and shit downtown. And the drive-in should be playing something tonight."

"I've never been to a drive-in."

"What? None of the boys you dated back in highschool ever took you to the drive-in?" Jack asks, mock-offended. "What kinda red-blooded all American boy didn't take his best girl to the drive-in hoping to get lucky?"

"There was only one boy," you shrug. "And I guess he preferred his blowjobs in the back of an air conditioned movie theater."

Jack chokes on his coffee and you wink at him as you hop off the barstool and drop your dishes in the sink before heading over to grab your suitcase.

"You alright there, cowboy? I'm assuming the shower's upstairs? You're welcome to join me...."

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Bad Ideas and Good Alcohol

Rabbit has a bad day, decides to get drunk with her older brother, and things get out of hand. Turns out... Abel is a giggly drunk. No one dies (outside of a videogame), and Iris has to be the adult for once.

After nearly getting my head bit off by 682, I feel the need to blow off some steam. I've got a bottle of good Japanese whiskey, two glasses... and a bad idea. Wonder if Big Brother Abel would like a drink. I hope so, I hate drinking alone. I stop by the AV department, pick up a TV cart, and add Clef's borrowed Xbox. Whiskey and fighting games, two great things that go great together, right? Only tonight, it's a little jaunt on the Ishimura I have planned. I reach Abel's quarters, and knock.

"Hi Big Brother! I had a bad day. Wanna have a few drinks and slay some undead stabby things? I'll even send out for pizza."

"You had me at 'pizza', Little Sister." I come in, set everything up, and fire up the game. Huh. Didn't think he'd be a fan of space survival horror, but five minutes in, and he's hooked. And, swearing at the Necromorphs like a true gamer.

"You (untranslatable) little shit, I shot you! How dare you not die!"

"This 'flamethrower', I like it. I want one now." I pour the drinks, hand him a glass.

"Whiskey? Haven't had whiskey since the last time I was in Ireland." He downs it in one gulp. "That is good." I pour him another. And... he gets swarmed in game by exploding infants. "Oh. I was felled by children?" Mad giggling. "I was blown to bits by a possessed baby. I should not find that so amusing, yet I do."

I'm sipping my drink, guiding him through the wreck of a planet cracker. He has an encounter with Isaac's sort-of imaginary ex-girlfriend, and nearly drops the controller. He starts laughing.

"That did scare me, a bit." He chugs his drink. "But now... I crave pizza."

"Wouldn't eat just yet, we still have the Leviathan to get through." Still, I place the order. Two supreme pizzas, extra peppers and sausage. We go back to the game for a while.

"Those 'weezers' sound like a few of the new recruits after running drills. I can shoot them, yes?"

"The recruits or the weezers?" After a while with Abel, you had to ask this kind of question.

"The weezers, of course."

"Yeah, you need to to weaken the giant space butthole enough to kill it."

"Giant space butthole?"

"The Leviathan. It's a rather... apt description."

"Are you sure they did not just place Dr. Bright in the game?"

"Nah, Dr. Bright is a small butthole compared to that thing."

He comes to the Leviathan fight. And nearly falls over laughing.

"Giant space butthole! It really is a giant space butthole. And it's shooting (untranslatable) at me? How is this supposed to be frightening?"

At this point... our pizzas are here, along with Iris. She sets the food down, and checks out what we're doing.

"Dead Space? Bad day, Sis?" I nod. I pour myself another whiskey, offer the bottle to Abel. He shakes his head. He's too intent on the fight.

"You know... Command is gonna have a fit about you two getting blotto on site."

"Meh. What are they gonna do? Put me on Keter Duty? Besides... turns out Abel gets silly when drunk. You going to deny us one of our few ways to blow off steam?"

"Rabbit, the last time you did something like this, you stalked Dr. Clef for a week in a bloodstained pink bunny suit. O5 wanted to throw you in with 106 for that."

"Would you rather have us play one of Big Brother's favorite games, Hunt the Bright? Better to have him doing this, I say."

"Grr. Fine. Just... keep him away from Bright. And... I want a cut." Iris helps herself to a slice, and sets down next to us. "Abel, throw the barrel at the giant butthole, then shoot it." He does. "Nice. You got this, Big Brother."

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Extreme Medicine

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: How do you treat this illness? Human: We douse the entire area with lethal amounts of radiation. Alien: What?! Human: It kills the virus….most of the time. Alien: Does that not also cause terrible side effects? Human:  So does eating 10,000,000 at once but that won’t stop us from doing it. --------------------

Human: Now we are going to try some more traditional medicine. Alien: Alright, but why the sharp needles? Human: I am going to stab them into you to free up your chi. Alien: I am pretty sure I don’t have chi. Human: Well then something is getting freed one way or another. ----------------------

Alien: I am feeling very hot and may have a fever. Alien: Do you have a treatment? Human: Of course. *Draws knife* Alien: Why do you have a knife? *nervously* Human: I’d going to draw blood from you until it goes away. Alien: I will not let you stab me! Alien: Do you have anything else? Human: Well *looks at bucket of leeches* I could dump these on you. Alien: Give me the knife. ------------------------

Alien: How did your people use to deal with headaches? Human: By drilling holes into our skulls. Alien: ….. Alien: No really, how did you treat it? Human: Did I stutter!? -------------------------

Alien: Why did you shoot electricity through patients? Human: We thought it would cure them. Alien: Cure them of what? Human: Throw a dart at a board with diseases and a doctor will say whatever it hit. -------------------------

Alien: It says here you had a disease that destroyed your species lungs. Alien: How did you survive? Human: We got them ones. Alien: I had no idea your people had genetic manipulation skills from such an early age. Human: We didn’t grow them new lungs. Alien: But you said you got them new lungs. Human: Yeah; iron ones. -------------------------------

Alien: Is it true your people would do anything for a cure for arthritis? Human: We were willing to sit in a dead whale’s body for 30hrs to cure it. Alien: ……. What? Human: The answer is yes, we would do ANYTHING to cure arthritis. ---------------------------------

Alien: Where does the saying “blowing smoke out your ass” come from? Human: At one point we thought getting a smoke enema would cure us of minor diseases. Human: Granted it hardly ever worked on people. Alien: …….. Alien: So….that saying is- Human: Quite literal, yes. ----------------------------------

Alien: So you would take the oil from one of your planets most dangerous creatures….and rub it on yourself? Human: To be fair we have since rubbed far stranger things on our bodies. Alien: Like w- Alien: ……… Alien: On second thought I have no desire to know more. ----------------------------------

Alien: So wait.. Alien: A deadly narcotic was used put in wine and sold as a drink and medicine? Alien: How was it legal? Human: As the saying goes, everyone loves sausages but hates to see them made. ------------------------------------

Alien: So you hold a burning candle by your ear, and it helps with hearing? Human: That’s what they say. Alien: Did it help with your hearing? Human: Not in the slightest. Alien: Then why do it at all? Human: I heard that some doctors recommended it. Alien: The same doctors that told you inhaling noxious smoke would be beneficial to you? Human: Oh god it all makes sense now…..

[starrynite7114]

always you (angel reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! I know I haven’t posted in a while, and you all know why. Thank you all again for being very understanding, it was a rough couple of weeks, and I’m trying to push through the best I can. This story was supposed to be a one shot for a prompt request I received some time ago, but I’m glad I’m able to finally fulfill it. I wrote out most of it already so it should be posted every 2-3 days. I’m also finishing up Roommates this week, at least trying to! 

Hope you all have been having a good week thus far! Hopefully it is also warming up! Exams have been killing me, but my last one is later today, so yay!

The new Mayans trailer looked amazing! Definitely getting the creative juices flowing, even for EZ. 

Anyways, thank you all again, you are all the utter best!

Special shoutout: To @blackmissfrizzle​, you fucking crazy, violent person, my second brain. Because of you, I got a Tiktok guy on here. But thank you for listening to my crazy ideas about this story, a story that was supposed to be a one-shot turned into a series cause of all of those videos, love you though. And to @angelreyesgirl​ you’re the one who helped me figure out as to why certain things happen in the story, thank you, I just, I love you, you already know this, no more sappiness from me today, maybe. Also, happy birthday!

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

Word count: 8657

Warnings: Mentions of stalker behavior, angst, smut

169: “ What a pretty sight. ”

187: “ Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

You sighed, the knocks on the door following the call you just received from Coco made you want to pull your hair out. This has been ongoing since you two broke up two years ago. It was routine at this point and you were slightly getting tired of it. He chose to let you go and here you were opening your door so Angel could spend the night after a drunken stupor. 

“Sorry again hermana, you know I try to bring his big ass home, but you know how stubborn he is.” Coco assisted Angel inside your apartment with Gilly helping him out. 

They assisted Angel down to your couch, he was barely conscious. He had this obnoxious smile on his face as he settled on your couch.

“Where’s my girl?” Angel called out as he grabbed a pillow, resting his head. 

Gilly looked up at you and you shook your head. “She’s asleep bro, just go sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll go to her.” Angel attempted to stand up, but Gilly held him down.

“Hey, remember, you don’t like bothering her when she’s asleep.” Gilly reminded Angel.

“You’re right, I just want to tell her I love her.” Angel laid back down, his eyes closing.

Before long, Angel’s soft snores indicated to you all he was asleep. Coco looked at you as you looked at Angel, confused as always as to why he had to come to you whenever he was drunk. They’ve tried asking him, both Coco and Gilly, and whenever you saw him in the morning, you just gave him coffee and chose not to talk to him. He tried to make small talk with you, but you didn’t entertain it.

Angel chose to break up with you two years ago, your year and a half relationship down the drain. You didn’t fight him when he ended your relationship. You accepted it and attempted to move on. 

Problem was, Angel didn’t let you go. His presence was still felt even though you didn’t see him. Then three months after your breakup, the drunken visits came. At times, he would talk to you when he would come drunk, but you chose to ignore it and just took care of him.

You wanted to turn him away, but you love Angel. It was hard not to do so. Whenever you would think you had the courage to turn him away, you would let him back in your bed just so you could hold him. It was unfair to you, you wanted to move on, yet, when you had the chance to hold him, you never passed it up. You were addicted and you would break the habit eventually, but Angel was just, well, he was Angel. 

“Y/N, we can take him home if you want.” Coco hated doing this to you. He was there from the beginning and he didn’t want to keep dragging you back in Angel’s life. He knew how hard you were trying to move on, but it seemed like Angel held on.

“No, it’s okay Coco, just let him sleep.” You pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose, sighing as you draped a throw blanket over Angel. 

“We can stay if you want.” Gilly offered. Much like Coco, he felt for you. You were a sweet girl, always nice to the boys and never made a fuss when Angel chose to break dates to hang out with them. For him, you were the ideal girl, you were reasonable, beautiful, and a hell of a cook. When Angel broke up with you, they planned to keep in touch, bug you every once in a while for dinner. But then they realized, Angel had no plans of letting you go either. 

You chuckled and shook your head. “It’s fine, I’m sure you guys want a break from this guy.”

“We do, we really do.” Gilly agreed. “But we want to be here for you too, why did we bring him here man?”

“You gonna try to argue with Angel? He’s fucking unreasonable when he’s sober, it’s another thing when Don Quixote over here is drunk.” Coco shook his head. “If you need anything, just call me.”

“Call us.”

You nodded your head. You gave the two Mayans a hug before closing the door behind them. When you turned back, you gasped when you found Angel standing.

“Let’s go sleep?” His eyes were opening and closing and he was slightly swaying. You took one of his arms and led him to your room.

This was how it always ended. Regardless if you put Angel in your guest bedroom or the couch, he always ended in your bed. 

You assisted him on your bed, going back to close your door. Angel took off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. “I love you.”

Your heart clenched hearing him say that. He always told you he loves you. Without a fail, he always did, when he was visiting you intoxicated. Yet, you never felt it, especially with the way things ended. And he never said it when you were together. You did, and that’s when things went downhill for you two. Holding on to the doorknob, you tried to stop the tears from coming. Angel was watching you, waiting for you to come join him on your bed. He just wanted to hold you. 

“You coming?”

You nodded your head and went to your side of the bed as Angel scooted up to his. Moving the blanket, you two settled under the blanket and Angel pulled you flush against him. He caressed your face, before leaving a kiss on your forehead.

Looking up at him, he was looking down at you, he was caressing your face again.

“What a pretty sight.” He sighed.

Your head rested on his chest and you eventually heard his breathing even out. You’re not sure how much more you could take of this. 

You had to move on.

It was time.

The next morning, you hoped it’s one of the days that Angel left while you were asleep. And he did, which you were thankful for. It was always awkward when Angel was still here when you woke up. Rolling over to the side, you sat up, slipping your glasses back on. Yawning, you checked your phone and had a few messages from Coco and Gilly, one from EZ.

Choosing to reply later, you placed your phone back on your dresser and stood up. Stretching as you let out a yawn, you walked out of your room and froze when you heard movement in your kitchen. Rushing back in your room to get the bat you had for protection, you made your way back towards the kitchen, peaking in and found Angel. You contemplated pretending to go back to sleep, but Angel’s voice stopped you.

“Don’t even think about pretending to go back to sleep, I made you breakfast and you have work in an hour and a half.” Angel called out.

You sighed. Placing your bat at its spot in your room, you go to the kitchen and found Angel making a plate. He handed you the plate and you murmured a thank you. Sitting at the dining table, you made sure to sit on the other side since the two chairs beside you were full of presents you have yet to wrap for Christmas. You still had time, but your dining table was basically full.

Angel smirked when he saw where you were situated. You acted as if he wasn’t with you for four years. He placed his plate down at the other end of the table. Moving your stuff to your coffee table, you opened your mouth to protest, but Angel already placed the presents down.

“You don’t have to move them, there’s plenty of room.” You protested.

“Away from you, yes. But I want to sit next to you.” Angel moved his plate and sat beside you. He shot you a smile before picking up his fork. “Come on, eat up.”

“Angel, this really isn’t necessary. I can just grab something on my way to work.” You didn’t like spending time with Angel, especially in this way since it still struck a chord with you. The familiarity of it was a painful memory of what was let go two years ago. 

“It would be rude for you to not eat after I made your favorite.” Angel knew you couldn’t resist a good omelette filled with spinach, bacon, sausage and cheese. “Please, let me do this for you, you did me a solid, again.”

Picking up your fork, you began eating. Letting the silence enveloped between you two. This was better. You didn’t want to talk to Angel. You didn’t want any thank you’s or apologies, you just wanted him to go so you could pretend that the other didn’t exist again.

Angel watched as you ate, keeping your eyes on your food. He hated how he did this to you, how you couldn’t even look at him. Every time he became highly intoxicated, Angel refused to go anywhere but your place, since it’s when he needed you most. Angel hardly drank himself to a stupor, but when he did, he was mostly troubled and was trying to forget the issues that were weighing heavily on him. Even though it’s been two years, you were one of those issues. He saw you around town often and it hurt him whenever he did. You were so close yet so far away. He knew that Coco and Gilly hang out with you every once in a while. Every day, it was a struggle for him to not see you, talk to you, hold you and be with you. 

So he came up with this ridiculous plan after you accepted him into your home one night after he got drunk. 

Whenever missing you became too unbearable, he got wasted and refused to go anywhere but your place. He was always aware enough to know he would be brought to you. And once he was with you, you would take care of him. He felt somewhat bad, but he didn’t know how else to approach you.

“Are you busy tonight?” Angel broke the silence between you two.

“What?” You had to make sure you heard him correctly. Looking over at Angel, he was waiting for you to reply. “I have a dinner thing.” A lie, and you were almost sure Angel could see right through it, but you didn’t want to think that. You could pull this off.

“A dinner thing?” Angel raised an eyebrow, amused by your choice of words. “Sounds like a fake thing.”

“Doesn’t matter to me if you believe me or not, I have plans.” You had finished your food. Picking up your plate, you placed it in the sink and turned to face Angel who was still sitting down. “Don’t worry about the dishes, I can do them. Also, I’m not really sure why you always decide to keep coming to my place when you get drunk, but I would really appreciate it if you didn’t come here anymore.” Your best friend, Marie had advised you to create boundaries, to tell Angel that you no longer want him coming over whenever he was intoxicated. 

That it was time for you both to stay away from one another like you intended to do so when he broke up with you.

“Querida.” Angel stood up, but you shook your head, holding your hand up.

“You wanted to break up, we’re done Angel. As much as I want to be there for you, I can’t keep doing this and hurting myself. You chose to let me go, so go.” You left the kitchen and entered your room, locking the door. 

Angel watched as you walked away, telling himself to run after you, but he couldn’t. He’ll let you walk away for now, but after you put such a decisive end to this whole thing, he couldn’t just let go. It may be selfish, but living without you for the past two years further opened his eyes.

He wanted to be with you and just you. 

It’s always been you.

=================

A month without any incident with Angel. You're glad he has finally decided to leave you alone. Coco had texted you a few times expressing that he was proud of you about putting your foot down with Angel. EZ has been frequenting the library more as of late, and he’s either had Marie with him, his girlfriend, or he came by himself. 

A new year and new decade ushered in a new era for you.

You caught EZ coming in, a smile appearing on your face.

“We got that book you’ve been waiting for, I saved you the copy since it was the only copy we got.” You grabbed the book and handed it over to him.

“Thanks Y/N.” He looked around. “Um, did Coco come? Or any other Mayan?”

“No,” you gave him a confused look. “You’re the only Mayan that comes during business hours. The others usually come when the library is closed waiting for me to make sure I made it home safely when I was still dating Angel.” 

EZ opened his mouth to apologize but you held your hand up.

“Ezekiel, I’m not fragile, it’s fine to mention your brother.” You laughed lightheartedly to lighten the mood. You knew EZ tried his best not to mention his older brother. “So you and Marie are getting serious?”

“Something like that,” the sheepish smile on Ezekiel’s face made you want to pinch his cheeks. “Just put a good word for me.”

“A good word? My best friend hates hanging out at the library with me, yet, she comes here to what? Watch you read?” You loved teasing Ezekiel. You were glad when he got out of prison, the way everything turned out for him, it was awful but you were grateful he was getting another chance at life. “You should at least take her out on a date.”

“Look, don’t judge me, I just got out of prison.”

“It’s been two years.”

“Alright, fine, Marie is just intimidating. One day she seems impressed with me, the next she’s not into it.”

“I think you’re reading too much into the situation. You two have been talking for four months now and you still haven’t asked her out. Marie is simple, start with the movies.” You suggested. 

“That’s fucking lame though.”

“Okay Netflix.”

“How about the fair? You and Angel can be like our chaperone.” EZ was trying to help Angel, soften you up some, but you were pretty good at blocking EZ’s charm. 

You looked at EZ for a moment, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Nice try.”

EZ smiled and took the book to his usual corner at the library. You knew your best friend would be bursting through the door in the next thirty minutes. Marie and EZ have been playing the flirting game for the last year and have been officially talking for the last four months. It was cute and you were happy that Marie found EZ and vice versa.

You got on the computer, trying to organize the library website like you promised your boss that you would do. The door opened and you expected the usual coffee Marie brought you.

“I feel like I should start requesting for a pastry since you two use my library as your hangout spot.” You teased. “I’m glad you’re here, coffee will help me through the rest of my shift.”

“I didn’t bring coffee querida, but I can run and get you some.”

You froze. That wasn’t Marie’s voice. Looking up, you found Angel with his staple kutte on his back along with a navy blue button up. His body has changed over the last two years, his muscles were more prominent. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate Angel taking care of his body.

“Can I help you?” The professional tone killed Angel, but he was determined to break through that.

“Came to check out a book, maybe you can help me?” Angel leaned against the countertop of the kiosk desk. His scent hit you and it made you want to smack him. How dare this man? You wanted to move on, and you’ve been doing so well. 

“I didn’t know you could read.”

“You know that’s a lie, I used to read to you while I fucked you.”

“Angel.” You hissed out his name, not wanting to yell.

Angel chuckled at your reaction. “Is it not true?”

“Listen, loitering is not allowed here.”

“That’s literally what everyone does around here.” Angel looked over at EZ and he shot his baby brother a smirk. “Well, I was looking for Stanford, I’ll be seeing you.”

You chose not to reply, saying ‘yeah right’ in your head. Marie walked in coffee and a box of Krispy Kreme in hand. The sigh of relief you let out was definitely noticed by her and her eyes immediately roamed the library to see if your creepy admirer was around, but instead she found EZ and Angel.

“Never pegged Angel as a library type of guy.” She placed your drink on the countertop. 

“He actually loves poetry, he really likes the European writers, British novels mostly Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Shakespeare.” You mouthed off Angel’s interest which never surprised Marie. When you love someone, you made it a mission to know that person, so you would know their ins and outs. You become invested in any relationship you forge since you rarely make friends as it was. It wasn’t about quantity, it was all about quality for you. A hard lesson you learned over the years. “He’s a big fan of Scarlet Letter and Invisible Man. But he really likes poetry from all generations, when we were still together, I got him a few poetry books from a few authors he liked.” You paused, realizing the tangent you went on. It wasn’t uncommon whenever you spoke about Angel. 

Marie enjoyed it because she got to learn about her old obnoxious neighbor that never deserved her best friend. You met Angel through Marie and in some ways, she regretted letting it happen, but when she saw how happy you were, how could she be so opposed? Even with knowing Angel’s history, she had faith. But then Angel decided that the single life was more of a life for him, something you never knew about. You never wanted to know about it and she didn’t push you.

“It’s okay, I love your tangents, even if they’re about that asshat.” Marie rolled her eyes. “So, have you given any thought of going on a date with Tyler?”

“You mean your co-worker you always refer to as a man slut?” 

“Bitch, we’re trying to get the pussy wet, not a serious relationship.” 

“That’s a no.” 

You and Marie jumped, not expecting to hear Angel’s voice.

“Where did you even come from?”

“You setting her up?” Angel ignored Marie’s question. He was going to bug you for the name of that author you always raved about when you two were together, but he became intrigued when he caught the tail end of your tangent about his interests. It was endearing for him to hear that you still knew so much about him, but his mood soured when he heard Marie trying to set you up. “Tyler, the douche that always gets drunk out of his mind at the clubhouse?”

“Again, just trying to get her dry spell to end.”

“I volunteer.” Angel smirked.

“Not interested.” You replied as you turned to face Angel. “We talked about this, please, just respect my wishes. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

“Hate to break it to you querida, the library is public property, unless I’m disrupting the peace, I have every right to be here as much as you do.” Angel placed his chin on his hand, smiling sweetly at you. 

You grabbed the coffee and the box of donuts. “I’m going to take my break.” 

Your co-worker, Sienna took over the kiosk desk, Marie making her way over to Marie. She knew you needed some alone time. As she passed Angel, she patted his back.

“Give her space, don’t push it.” 

Angel wasted enough time. He knew you. It’s not that you didn’t want to be around him, you were just protecting your heart. He gave you five minutes before he followed after you, finding the trunk of your Toyota RAV4 opened. Walking over to you, he opened his mouth to speak, you beat him to it.

“Eugene, please, I’m on my break, I would appreciate it if you didn’t follow me.” Your day was starting to become shit since seeing Angel helped you realize that you weren’t over him. It’s been two years but due to his drunken escapades, it was hard for you to move on. 

“Who the fuck is Eugene?”

“No one.” You didn’t want to tell Angel about Eugene. It’s not like he would care, but you haven’t exactly told Angel about how your kindness to Eugene went from endearing to him becoming obsessive. “Can I help you?”

“I was going to take a smoke break then I saw your trunk open.” Angel shrugged, taking note of the name Eugene so he could ask Marie later. “Can I join you?”

“No, I’m done.” You closed the box of donut, picking up your drink as you stood up. 

“Come on, throw me a bone here. Can you give me a chance to explain?”

“Explain what exactly? Why you broke up with me? Why you kept me in your back pocket by being your go to house when you're drunk?”

“You gonna let me explain or are you gonna continue interrupting me?”

“I don’t care what you do, just please stay away from me. You’ve made your stance very clear two years ago. I don’t care why you came to me while you’re drunk, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t come to my job, don’t come to my apartment, just please stay away from me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Angel frowned. He didn’t expect things to go like this. Maybe he was an asshole or an idiot, but he expected you to welcome him with open arms.

“I do, I want to move on, build new relationships and be happy. I didn’t break your heart, I didn’t hurt you, if you don’t love me that’s fine. If you feel bad for what happened, you’re good, you’re forgiven.” You pressed the button that automatically closed your car. “I’m suffocating right? I’m too nice right? Then leave me alone.”

“You really just gonna walk away?”

You were about to answer Angel when you heard a familiar voice call out your name. Looking to where you heard the voice, you saw Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel cussed under his breath when he saw him. Jay was a sore subject for Angel. You two rarely spoke about Jay and it was mostly due to the fact that Angel never brought him up. When you did bring up Jay, it was a rare occurrence. It’s not that Angel didn’t care about your ex-boyfriend, in fact, he cared too much. Too many times he’s heard people spoke about how epic you and Jay were together. The perfect couple that would have stayed together if you decided to go with Jay to Germany. 

“Jay?” You hopped out of your trunk and was in disbelief. Jay, from what you knew, was still in Berlin, and wouldn’t be back for another three years. You kept in touch with him since you had a quite amicable break-up.

You two had dated for eight years before you two eventually parted ways. High school sweethearts, intended to last forever, but forever wasn’t a thing. You two broke up amicably and remained friends. It was hard not to be friends with a person you spent eight years of your life with. 

It was your ex-boyfriend. 

He couldn’t forget his name, he knew everything about the fucking guy. The first love, the one you would always love, that was the cliche, right? He remembered that he briefly met Jay before he left for Berlin once again. He was bringing you home after a catch up dinner with other friends and he saw just how your smile shone brightly around him. Jay was looking down at you, returning your smile as you animatedly spoke to him about something. You turned to face Angel and what he missed was how your smile changed, it was that smile specifically for your Angel. You had made your way towards him, wrapping your arms around him. Jay first met Angel then and much to your surprise, Jay took a liking to Angel, especially since he was a big fan of his Harley. Angel didn’t show much interest towards Jay, but you knew it bugged your then boyfriend how close you were to Jay.

Angel was not friends with any of his exes, but he also wasn’t with them for a long amount of time. If anything, you were his longest relationship. And seeing you react the way you did with Jay, he regretted it further that he let you go.

“Eugene is still coming here? You told me you handled that.” Jay was annoyed, you told him that you handled your too friendly library consumer. Jay stood at 6’4, 210 pounds, the Marines shaped him well. 

You looked at Angel and Jay did as well. 

“If you’re going to bother her when you’re drunk, you should at least get rid of her stalker.” Jay didn’t have a problem with Angel, but he knew Angel had a problem with him. He could see it when they first met. He couldn’t blame him, he rarely knew of exes that were friends, but Jay couldn’t exactly let you go. 

You two grew up together, you knew him best.

“Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?” You saw how quickly Angel’s face turned sour and you knew you could have a fight in your hands.

“Aright, let’s not do anything crazy.” You got in between them, with you facing Angel. “We’re done.”

You locked your car before making your way inside the library once again, dragging Jay with you, and leaving Angel to his own devices. The broken look on your face, he wanted to take that away, especially since he caused it. He loves you, he really did, he was just an idiot. 

The fact that Jay was seemingly back in town, Angel had to make a move. 

And you should know better, Angel was anything but a quitter.

=================

Angel walked in the library and found you talking to one of your co-workers. He saw her nudge you and your eyes met. Quickly you looked away, shushing your co-worker. Angel took his usual spot opening the book he had borrowed earlier in the week. You weren’t surprised Angel burned through books, people counted him out due to his affiliates, but you knew better than to judge a book by its cover.

Jay hasn’t been back since he saw him two weeks prior. Angel frequented the library and never saw a sign of him. 

“You look beautiful Y/N.” Eugene, a regular at the library, complimented you. What started off as you being kind, feeling bad for a man who appeared to be a loner, was starting to make you feel uneasy. For the last three years, he progressively became bolder and you could tell that he was getting to the point where aggressive behavior was going to come out. Regardless of how nice you were, you always made sure he knew that you two were friends.

“Thank you Eugene.” You faked this small smile on your lips, but you didn’t want to provoke him. Sienna stayed beside you, she was more straightforward and had no problem telling Eugene to fuck off.

“Have you thought of my invitation for dinner tonight? My mother would love to meet you? I speak about you often with her.” The uneasiness at the pit of your stomach was unexplainable and Angel noticed the change on your face.

Sienna looked at you, her eyes slightly widening. She’s had enough of Eugene. It was small talk at first, but as of late, the man was beginning to be more bold. Starting with grabbing a drink or coffee, it evolved to having dinner at his place. You never entertained the idea and always let him down, but he wasn’t understanding.

“I’m sorry Eugene, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Why not?” You saw how his face slightly scrunched up, his voice slightly raising. A few of the library patrons looked over before going back to their book. “Stop being such a tease and just go to my place.”

Both you and Sienna were appalled by his suggestion. You never teased him. 

“Excuse me? I’ve never done such a thing.”

“Oh please, with the skirts and dresses you wear, how do you expect anyone to not be teased by your clothing. Mother is right, you’re a slut, but no mind, I can repent you.”

Angel heard enough. You saw him from the corner of your eye. 

“Call security, I’ll handle Angel.” You walked out of the kiosk and intercepted Angel. 

“Let go of me, he’s not going to get away speaking to you like that.” The restrained tone in Angel’s voice made you nervous for Eugene. 

“Please, Angel.” The way you whispered his name with a plea, it made Angel sigh deeply, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he looked up at the ceiling. 

“Make sure he’s gone when we get back.” He instructed Sienna. You led him to the restricted area of the library which was situated at the back. Older books or original versions of books were kept here, with only employees having access and at times guests who were accompanied by employees. 

When you two were all the way at the back of the restricted area, you leaned against one of the bookshelves as Angel paced back and forth in front of you.

“How long has he been harassing you?” Angel questioned, continuing his pace.

“Angel.”

“How. Long.” He let out through gritted teeth. There was no argument. He let you take him away, you owed him this.

 You didn’t want to tell Angel, it didn’t matter anyway. All you knew was that you had to take care of this, he was making your anxiety spike up. “Three years.” 

“Three years?!” Angel’s voice echoed throughout the library. 

“Angel.” You hissed, keeping your voice low.

“Are you fucking kidding me? And you never told me?” Angel didn’t heed your warning. He was livid. How could you not tell him, especially while you two were together?

“Eugene is harmless.” He shot you a look and you sighed. “He was harmless.” You amended your statement. “Angel, please, it’s okay.”

“No the fuck is not, the way he spoke to you?” Angel felt his temper rise again. Fuck security, he would beat the idea in to Eugene that he was to never breathe the same air as you again. “Wait, Jay knew? And you didn’t tell me?”

You cussed under your breath. You accidentally told Jay about Eugene. He was FaceTiming you when Eugene came in after hours. You were able to shoo him away since Jay was on the phone. You never even thought of telling Angel, you didn’t want Angel to make a big deal out of it and you honestly thought you were reading too much into it. 

“I,” you sighed. “It wasn’t on purpose. Jay was FaceTiming me when Eugene walked in after hours.” 

“Did you have him pretend to be your boyfriend?” Angel knew he was being unreasonable, but it irked him that your ex-boyfriend knew about your stalker and he didn’t. He was the one who was in Santo Padre. He was the one who could deal with it. 

“No, Angel, it was years ago.”

“My fucking point exactly, it’s been years and you never told me. I was your boyfriend then, not him. How could you not tell me?”

“I don’t know, it was harmless, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.”

“Out of nothing?” Angel exclaimed, shaking his head at your ridiculousness. “We’re gonna fucking talk after this, this should have never been an issue.”

Before he could leave, you blocked his way.

“Move.”

You shook your head. 

“Don’t act like I can’t just lift you out of the way.” 

You weren’t exactly the lightest, and hardly looked like any of Angel’s previous girlfriends. You had meat on your bones and some people may poke fun at your weight, but Angel always made you feel like a queen. He loved your curves, kissed and worshipped every part of your body. Well until he broke up with you.

“Angel, please, just stay with me.” You wrapped your arms around him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“No, he’ll never learn his lesson unless,” 

You cut Angel off by bringing his lips down to yours. Whenever Angel became irritated or upset, small touches or kisses from you would always calm his anger. You took a chance knowing Angel doesn’t exactly want you anymore, so you’re not sure what this would do for the situation, but you had to try. Angel immediately responded to your kiss, his hands cupping your face. One of his hands slid down to your neck, slightly moving you so you were against the bookshelves. His hand moved down, brushing against your breast causing you to moan. Angel’s tongue slipped in, deepening your kiss. He pressed you against the shelf, pulling away and pressing his forehead against yours. The anger that had overtook his body was gone, and was now replaced for a burning desire for you.

“You still taste so good.” Angel kissed you again, your back arching so your front was pressed against his front. One of his hands was sliding under your skirt, causing you to pull away.

“No Angel.” You shook your head, moving away from him to fix yourself. 

Angel groaned, his dick was hard and he was at a library with no means of relieving it. He thought of anything that could help his erection to go away, his third grade teacher who was horrific to him did the trick. Turning to face you, he found you looking around before you took his hand and led him further down the restricted area of the Santo Padre library. It was an old library, built by the Spaniards when they were doing their missions along California. Bringing him to the last row where you knew there was an entrance to the inventory the library had for the restricted section. You knew no one ever went in there till closing. You didn’t want Angel to do anything to you, but you could definitely help alleviate some of his anger. 

“Querida, where the fuck are we?” Angel looked around and the shelves were against the walls, a few shelves were in the middle of the room, otherwise, there were books everywhere. You led him to a desk that Sienna used to organize the unlabeled books. You pushed Angel down onto the office chair. He watched as you sunk to your knees, your eyes focused on unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. “Hey, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.” You lifted your eyes to meet his and the softness in his eyes was such a stark contrast from earlier where they were dark, anger obviously apparent. Now, it was adoration and lust that clouded his iris. You tugged on his jeans, which Angel assisted you with, lifting himself up so you could pull down his jeans and boxers. Smirking, you wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock, using some of his pre-cum to help your hand glide down with ease. Angel groaned, leaning his head back. It was his weakness, watching your beautiful lips around his cock, trying to take in as much of his cock, he was a goner whenever you did that. The way your eyes would water, your cheeks hallowed, your mouth full of him, the image alone could make him cum. But he always held back, letting himself enjoy you. 

“Fuck, look at you mi sol,” he watched as you spat down on his cock, holding his thick member with one hand. Placing a kiss on the tip of his cock, you looked up at Angel as you opened your mouth to take him in. Just as he taught you, you took Angel until you could not take any of him anymore, moving your head back up, his cock sheath with your saliva. You took him in your mouth once more, Angel gathering your hair in one hand. He loved your eyes on him. Those hooded eyes under those thick black rimmed glasses of yours. You move your mouth up and down his cock, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him whenever his tip reaches your gag reflex. You let go of him with a pop, your hand replacing your mouth. “That’s right baby, take your dick and let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” Angel tried not to lose himself with you, but any part of you that was connected always felt so good for him. He didn’t know what it was but everything he did with you was a hundred times more intense when compared to others.

Placing two hands on his cock, you had your mouth on the tip of his cock, running your tongue over and over again over Angel’s sensitive cock. He moaned out your name, gripping your hair tighter. You were licking his cock like it was a tootsie roll lollipop and you were trying to get to the center. You moved so that your tongue was moving up and down his shaft, getting to the top and engulfing his tip with your mouth. Angel groaned, throwing his head back, licking his lips as you continued to bob your head up and down. His hand assisted you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, swallowing around it.

“Holy fuck princesa, keep going I’m about to cum.” Angel moaned. “You want me to cum in your mouth baby? You gonna swallow daddy’s cum?”

You chose not to answer and continued your ministrations. Just as you felt Angel’s cock pulsing in your mouth, you pulled away, placing a kiss on his cock. Angel slammed his hand on the desk, grabbing your hair. 

“You really want to play with daddy?” His face was so close to you, your hand still around his cock. You tightened your hold, moving your hand up and down causing Angel to close his eyes. He moaned out your name, further dampening your panties. “Put your mouth back on my cock so I can fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.” 

You followed Angel’s instructions, taking him back in your mouth. Angel began to thrust up in your mouth, tears forming in your eyes as he moved in and out of your mouth. Your hands rested on Angel’s thighs, your nails digging into his skin. He chanted your name before he came in your mouth, holding your head against him. You swallowed some of his cum, keeping some of it in your mouth. He let go of your hair, saying how much of a good girl you were for swallowing daddy’s cum. His cock was still semi-erect and you smirked, dropping some of his cum on his cock, making Angel groan as he felt himself hardened again at the sight of you using his cum as lubrication, moving your hand up and down once again. 

“God, my dirty little librarian.” Angel always fantasized doing numerous things with you in the library. You weren’t opposed to it, but Angel hardly came to pick you up from your work. And now, Angel regretted that.

You placed a sweet little kiss at the tip of his cock before you stood up. 

“Stay here, I’ll get you some paper towels.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Let me make you feel good.” Angel smirked when he saw your breast just calling to him. You balanced yourself on the arm rest of the arm chair. Your dress was sinful since it was this black cami dress that you usually wore a cardigan with. He knew without that cardigan, all those fuckers that pretend to go to the library for books would be staring straight at your ample breast. And even though you were wearing leggings under, the imagination was running wild. “Where the fuck is your cardigan?” He hated how your breasts were just out in the open, even though your dress did cover your cleavage well, Angel had fucked you too many times in this dress, pulling the top down, watching as your breast bounced up and down as he fucked you.

“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to make you feel good.” In reality, you were ashamed you let this happen. For two years, you did nothing with Angel besides cuddling and now you not only kissed him but you gave him a blowjob. The only reason you did it was because seeing how protective he became over you, it made your heart melt. “I left it on my chair.” You bit back a moan as Angel grabbed your breast.

“What did daddy say about this dress?” He pushed one of your straps down, licking his lips as his eyes focused on your beautiful skin, calling him to mark it. 

“Angel,” you whimpered as he pulled a part of your dress down, your naked breast immediately greeting him. 

“Where the fuck is your bra?”

“It has a built in one.” 

Angel wrapped his hand around your throat, making you look at him. He growled, squeezing your breast, taking your nipples in between his fingers.

“I’m gonna ask you one more fucking time, what did daddy say about this dress.”

“Not to wear it unless you’re with me.” You gave in and you couldn’t even be angry. Angel was doing a number on you. But you had to snap out of it, pleasuring him was one thing, but you didn’t want to go back there with Angel. “But we’re no longer together.” You moved away, fixing yourself. You were so wet, but you couldn’t give in to Angel.

“I can change that.”

“I’ll meet you at the kiosk desk.”

When Angel eventually joined you at the kiosk desk, you were surprised when he sat right beside you. Sienna threw you a smirk before finishing a few things around the library since you were set to close in forty-five minutes. Eugene was escorted off of the property, but you knew he would be back. You should really be more stern with Eugene, but at the same time you knew he found solace in the library since it was his time away from his mother. 

You were organizing a few things at your desk, trying your best to avoid Angel and making yourself look busy. His eyes were on you, you could feel them. 

“We’re closing soon, you should go.” Boundaries, you shouted that in your head. Boundaries. You had to set up boundaries or you would be in this endless loop with Angel. There was no future between you two, there was no point of prolonging the inevitable.

“I��ll wait just in case he’s waiting for you outside.” Angel’s voice was strained. You knew he was upset about your comment earlier.

“He won’t be, this isn’t some crime drama.” You tried to lighten the mood, but that seemed to upset Angel further. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”

He leaned in, so only you could hear his words. “Stop it, I’m not leaving you, I’m going to make sure you’re fucking safe. You chose to hide this from me for years and now that I’m in the know, you’re not going to be a fucking statistic.” He took the cardigan that was resting on your chair, and placed it over you. “Wear your fucking cardigan. You think just because we’re not together you’re no longer mine?” Angel chuckled. “You’ll always be mine, you can fight it all you want, but you shouldn’t fight the inevitable.”

“I’m not yours, there’s no fighting anything. We’re not together and it’ll remain that way.” You moved away from him, focusing your eyes on the computer in front of you once more.

The library was finally closed and as Angel promised, he remained by your side. You stood up gathering your things and you saw Sienna making her way towards the door.

“Hey! Are we still meeting at that new Thai place?” 

Sienna was about to confirm your plans when Angel shook his head behind you. She refrained from smiling and shook her head.

“Sorry babe, my man just texted me. He’s having some technical difficulties at home. Rain check?” 

“Sure.” You smiled and waved her goodbye. You could feel Angel behind you, his heat was just radiating. “Hey, so, I have to do inventory. You can sweep the parking lot to see if he’s there, but otherwise, we’re good. Thanks again for standing up for me.” You didn’t want to face Angel, you were nervous about what you would see. Resisting Angel was difficult and you just had so much willpower left. You never felt your dry spell, it never bothered you, until today. Now you really had to get laid.

You felt Angel box you in, his front against your back. You felt his hot breath against your skin. “Are the cameras on?”

“Huh?” Being in such close proximity to Angel, you wanted to close your eyes, bask in the feeling, but you have to set up boundaries. 

“Are the cameras on?” Angel repeated his question.

“No, Sienna turns them off, only the outside cameras are on.” 

“Good.” Angel placed his hand on your breast, grabbing it through your dress. Placing your hand on top of his, you incidentally intertwined your hands, with your hand on top of his as his other hand slid down your dress starting from your chest down to your abdomen and under your dress, pulling down your leggings. You felt him smile against your ear when he felt just how dampen your panties were. “You’re so wet, is this all for daddy?” 

You whimpered when you felt Angel press against your clothed pearl. He squeezed your breast making you let out another whimper. “I didn’t hear an answer.”

“Yes daddy.” Your other hand grabbed Angel’s before he could move your underwear to the side. “Angel, let’s not do this.” Your mind screamed boundaries while your heart said fuck it. 

“Why baby, you let someone else touch my pussy?” Angel swatted your hand, slipping his fingers under your panties. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, stretch out this pussy.”

Your phone began to ring and you immediately grabbed it. It was Jay, your ex-boyfriend. Angel saw the name and growled out your name. 

“If you answer, I’m gonna make sure to make you come while he’s talking to you.” Jay was a sore spot for Angel. He was your high school sweetheart. The one that supposedly got away. Fuck that, Angel refused to acknowledge that. Jay was a part of your past, one he never wanted to address since he made him feel even more insecure about your relationship. 

Angel ran a finger up and down your slit, slipping it past your entrance shallowly, moving his finger tip in and out. It was just enough for you to feel him, but not enough.

You let your phone ring, focused on the sensations or lack thereof that Angel was providing.

“You want my finger all the way, so you can feel my rings against that pussy?”

You nodded your head, loving the feel of Angel’s hand against yours. His hands were always so fucking big, it made yours feel small.

“Naw, I know you got a voice,” he kissed your ear, nipping at it. “Fucking use it.”

“Yes, please daddy.” You begged.

Angel chuckled lowly and slipped his finger further in, adding a second finger. “Tight as always, no one touched you baby?” His thumb landed on your throbbing pearl, tapping it.

“No daddy, just me.” You didn’t want to disclose with Angel that Marie’s words were true about your dry spell. You felt him add a third finger and you threw your head back, your head landing on Angel’s shoulder. 

Angel wrapped a hand on your throat, chastely kissing your cheek. He kept his lips on your cheek, his breath against your skin further turning you on. 

“Did you use that toy I got you?” He questioned. He was rubbing his clothes erection against your back, the friction was amazing, but you knew it would be so much better when it was his bare skin against yours.

“Yes daddy, I did.” You were clenching Angel’s fingers, his fingers tightening around your throat. 

Just as Angel was about to unzip his jeans to slide on home, the door opened. You tried to move away from Angel, but all he did was fix your dress and kept you pressed against him. Jay looked at you, the swollen lips, the disheveled state and the smug look on Angel’s face gave it away. 

“Was I interrupting?” Jay questioned, walking further inside the library.

“No.” 

“Yes.”

You and Angel answered at the same time. He looked down at you, but you kept your eyes on Jay.

“You said you wouldn’t be back till next week.” You really wished Jay didn’t come, but at the same time you were glad he came. You were going to cave to Angel and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I decided to surprise you.” Jay leaned against the kiosk desk once he arrived, smirking. “You could have continued Reyes, I don’t mind watching.” The smugness on Jay’s face irritated Angel. 

You sighed and pushed Angel out of the kiosk desk. “Go home Angel.”

“I’m not leaving you with this guy.” Angel stood his ground. Jay wasn’t your man, and he never would be again. 

“She’s safe with me, go back to your little club, fix bikes, fuck bitches, and sell drugs.” Jay knew what the Mayans were, he’s had his fair share of run ins with them over the years. He was friends with Neron, a gym buddy of his you could say and he served time with Johnny in the Marines. 

“Jay!” You hissed.

Angel just smirked and shook his head. Jay wasn’t worth it, not yet at least.

“I’ll see you later querida.” He brushed past Jay. It took every fiber in his body to not knock him out.

There was a time and place.

His main goal right now was to get you back. You two had plenty to talk about and Angel planned on discussing things with you. He wasn’t going to let Jay weasel his way back in, especially since he may never let you go again.

Angel understood he fucked up.

He made a hasty decision.

But, it was a new year.

It’s 2020. 

A brand new decade. 

Your past grievances could be left behind in 2019.

Valentine’s Day was around the corner and he was determined to spend it with you.

Angel was more determined to win you back. That kiss, he knew he wasn’t the only one who felt that undeniable spark between you two. And the sexual encounters you two just had, it left Angel wanting more, as he always had.

But he had to take care of Eugene and then Jay.

=================

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[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 11: Pinky Promise

"Is this real?"

Harry practically jumped out of his skin. He'd been sitting on the sofa in the eighth year common room, staring into the fire and trying to ward off the nightmares. He hadn't even heard anyone else walk into the room. "What?" he asked, looking over to see Draco Malfoy, of all people, standing there in his pajamas, face drawn and ashen.

"Is this real?" he repeated.

"Is what real?" Harry asked, looking around to see what he was talking about, unease creeping up his spine. Well, even more unease than he'd already been feeling from the nightmares.

"This," the other boy whispered, sounding terrified, as he gestured vaguely at everything.

And that Harry could understand, he knew what it was like to wake up and not be sure what was real and what wasn't. "Yeah," he said softly. "Yeah, this is real."

"Are you sure?" he whispered, his right hand rubbing his left forearm.

A surge of pity rushed through Harry, he knew this year (the past couple, for that matter) had been hard for Malfoy. And honestly? He just didn't have the energy to hate him any more. "Yeah," he said softly.

Malfoy looked at him, "Do you swear?"

"Yes," Harry assured.

"Would you swear with a wizard's oath?"

Harry nodded at him.

"What's the muggle's version of a wizard's oath?" he asked suddenly. "That's something I wouldn't know," he muttered, more to himself than to Harry.

And in that moment, Harry's (sleep deprived) mind blanked and he blurted the only thing he could think of, "Pinky promise."

(Read more below the cut)

"What?" Malfoy asked blankly.

"A pinky promise," Harry repeated. "You can't break them. Here," he said, holding out a pinky to him. "You just take your pinky," he said, grasping Malfoy's hand and tugging it toward him, "and wrap it with mine."

Malfoy entwined his pinky with Harry's, looking carefully at where their hands were joined.

"I pinky promise that this is real," Harry said dutifully. Then he added, "You're okay," softly.

Malfoy looked up at that, his stormy grey eyes met Harry's and he let go of his finger like he'd been scalded. "I-" Malfoy started.

But Harry just shook his head and turned to look back at the fire, "It's alright. You don't have to apologize or feel embarrassed. Why do you think that I'm sitting here in front of the fire instead of sleeping in bed?" he asked wryly. "It's hard for me too."

Malfoy was silent for a few minutes and Harry let him be, he just stared ahead into the fire and waited. For what he wasn't quite sure.

"Can I sit with you?" Malfoy finally asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied, glancing over at him.

Malfoy sat gingerly on the opposite end, tucking his bare feet under him and wrapping his arms around his thin torso.

"Are you cold?" Harry asked.

"A bit."

Harry scooched toward the middle of the couch and put the throw he'd been using over Malfoy's legs, too.

They were quiet for long moments before Harry asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." There was a brief pause, then Malfoy hesitantly asked, "Do you?"

"Godric, no."

Nodding, Malfoy slipped his hand across the few inches between them and entwined their pinkies once more. Then the two of them just sat there in the quiet, listening to the fire crackle and pop until the sun started to peak through the window. They returned to their beds and Harry tried not to think too much about what had just happened.

------------

It happened again the next night, and the night after that, and the night following that, and so on. Malfoy stopped even asking and Harry just started reaching out his pinky for him the moment the other boy entered the room.

Sometimes one of them would drift off while they were sitting together and wake with a start, and Harry for one, found it very reassuring to wake to Malfoy's pinky grounding him to the here and now. He wondered if Malfoy felt the same.

Nothing changed for a few weeks until one morning when he came down for breakfast and saw Malfoy sitting by himself. This wasn't unusual, but one look at the other boy and he knew something was off. Malfoy's face was even paler than usual, his shoulder length blonde hair covering up half his face as his fingers clenched and unclenched. He knew those signs, he knew what his body language meant, and so instead of heading over to sit with Ron and Hermione, he moved toward Malfoy.

He sat down across from him and Malfoy looked up, eyes wide, "What are you doing?"

"I pinky promise," Harry murmured and slid his hand across the table toward him, pinky extended.

Malfoy's hand shot out toward him like he was reaching for a lifeline and he wrapped his pinky around Harry's. Harry watched as he visibly relaxed, his shoulders lowering, and brow smoothing out. After a beat he looked up at Harry, "You didn't have to-"

"I know," Harry said, leaving his left pinky looped through Malfoy's right. "I don't mind." Malfoy opened his mouth to say something but Harry continued, "Could you pass the sausage?"

Malfoy's jaw clicked shut and he did as Harry asked. They sat in silence, eating their breakfast and drinking their coffee, fingers still linked.

-------------

Sitting together at meals became habitual, too.

Ron and Hermione moved to join them eventually. They'd asked Harry about it but he honestly didn't know what he was meant to say. He had no idea what he and Malfoy were doing, it just felt like the right thing to do and in some weird way it felt like Malfoy was the only one who understood him.

Having Ron and Hermione join them was completely surreal and Harry had no idea what to say.

Fortunately, Ron started talking first.

Harry had thought it would be weird to talk to Malfoy, and it was in the beginning, it was awkward and stilted and Harry had mentally cursed Ron Weasley for his extrovert nature. But after a few weeks the four of them managed to have what resembled normal conversations.

Malfoy's right pinky often remained wrapped in Harry's left and Hermione and Ron said nothing about it.

The next time it happened out of (what was becoming) the ordinary was in Defense Against the Dark Arts. They'd been practicing dueling when Malfoy's wand had clattered to the ground.

Harry's attention had been, admittedly, divided between his duel with Ron and Draco's duel with Dean before Draco let his wand fall from his shaking hand. Without a second thought, Harry disarmed Ron and sent a tidy little 'incarcerous' to bind his feet as he started moving toward Draco.

Draco was staring down at his shaking hands as Harry approached.

"Hey," he said softly, trying to draw Draco's attention, "Hey, look at me."

Draco looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Hey," Harry said again. "It's okay. You're okay." He offered his pinky to Draco. "This is real," he whispered.

Draco blinked at him and entwined their pinkies together. After a slow deep breath, he nodded once and released Harry so he could go back to working on his dueling.

-------------

It became a habit basically everywhere after that. Harry and Draco became all but inseparable, they started to learn to talk to one another. Harry enjoyed Draco's sharp, dry whit and Draco seemed to enjoy Harry's sarcastic, slightly dark sense of humor. They worked on projects together, started partnering up in classes, started bickering with each other when they disagreed, and even started teasing each other.

Harry had never set out with the intention to befriend Draco Malfoy, but there was certainly no denying it. They'd become rather good friends.

One night, things changed again. Harry awoke with a start, heart pounding against his rib cage. The curtains around his bed were drawn and for a moment he'd been trapped in his cupboard. For a moment, there'd been no way out and there was no one who cared about him.

He kicked off his blankets and struggled out of bed, escaping the room as quietly as he could so he didn't wake up his roommates. He stumbled down the stairs only to find that Draco was already up.

"Hey," Draco said softly, looking up from the book on his lap and lifting the blanket so Harry could settle in next to him.

Harry all but collapsed, pressing his side against Draco's and only then realizing that he was shaking.

"Hey," Draco said, reaching for Harry's finger, "Are you alright?"

Harry shook his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

He was quiet for a moment, debating what he should say, before the thought popped out without permission. "Are you ever afraid that no one will ever love you?" Harry asked.

Draco's brow furrowed, "Am I personally? Yes. Should you be?" he asked. "No."

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because you're Harry Potter."

"But what if I wasn't?" Harry asked, looking over at him. "What if I wasn't the boy who lived? What if I hadn't killed Voldemort? What if I wasn't magical? What if I was just an eighteen year old kid, with no parents, and no prospects? Should I be worried then?"

"Well, setting aside all of those things that make up the reality that we live in, no. You still shouldn't be worried."

"Are you serious?" Harry asked with a huff.

"Yes," Draco replied, putting his marker in his book and setting it to the side so he could turn to look at Harry. "Of course I'm serious and if this were the old you talking to the old me, I'd think that you were fishing for compliments."

"But..."

Draco sighed, "But it's not the old me and I know now that you really don't see yourself clearly at all. Harry, you shouldn't be worried because you'd still be you. You'd still be funny, you'd still be observant when it suits you, you'd still be attractive, you'd still be kind. And most of all, you'd still be good," Draco said, voice soft and sincere. "You'd still be the person who sees trash on the ground outside and picks it up. You'd still be the person who cheers on his friends. You'd still be the person who saw their enemy hurting and reached out a hand to help."

Harry blinked at him. They'd never really talked about this and Harry wasn't sure he was ready to now.

"You are inherently good," Draco said. "You're petty as fuck sometimes and the amount of sass that can come out of your mouth is nearly lethal," he added, eyes sparkling, "But when it matters, you are good. You choose the right thing. You choose to do good."

"And that makes me loveable?"

"Yes. Easily," Draco replied. "It's very easy to love you."

Harry blinked at the casual way he said that. "It's," he cleared his throat, "It's easy to love you, too," he murmured.

"You don't have to say that. I know it's not true."

"It is true!" Harry exclaimed. "It's easy to love how hard working and clever you are. It's easy to love you for the way you've tried to fix hurts you've caused. To love and admire the way you came back when it would have been easier to leave. It's easy to admire the way you care for your family. You're really brave, Draco Malfoy, and I love that about you."

Draco tilted his head at Harry consideringly, "Do you mean that?"

"Yes, of course I do," Harry replied. "I'll even pinky promise that I am telling you the truth," he said, holding out his pinky.

Draco took it and said, "I love the way that you see me."

"The feeling is mutual," Harry replied and butterflies took off in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't quite sure why but then very suddenly, they were leaning toward each other. And Harry would never really be sure who made the first move, but then it didn't matter because he was kissing Draco, one hand cupping his face, the pinky on his other hand clasping tightly to Draco's.

They pulled back after a soft brush of their lips. "Was that okay?" Draco asked, his cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink.

Harry tucked Draco's hair behind his ear and stroked his thumb over his cheekbone, "better than."

"You're sure?" the other boy asked, searching Harry's face.

"I pinky promise," Harry replied.

Day 10: The Beach | Day 12: Adrenaline

@saumzi Thanks so much for the prompt! I hope you enjoy it!

[thegracelessfaceless]

Heya, how are you? Do you have any Hcs for Ticci Toby that you won't mind sharing? Thank you and hope your day is going well

I'm doing good, @anonymousstinkkat001 , looking to get back on the writing horse again. I hope these are good. I wasn't sure exactly what kind of hc's you wanted, so I have general, then as an SO 🧡

Tobias Andrew Adams Headcanons

(I write for Tobias Adams over Tobias Rogers because of all of the controversy involving Tobes. In my mind, they are the same, and my idea of Toby is a bit different.)

Tobias Andrew Adams was born April 27, 1990. He is 31 years old.

In light of recent fan art I've seen, Toby has a small man bun (If anyone saved that picture or you drew it, could you tag me in it?) (Edit: I found the pic but still don't know who made it. Help?)

He's about 6'0" tall, 6'1" in shoes.

I hate to tell you guys this, but he hates waffles. Waffles remind him of all the times his mother tried to pretend everything was okay, when it wasn't.

If Toby even bothers eating breakfast, it's probably going to be bacon or sausage and eggs with toast and apple juice, no less, no more.

Toby is a pretty quiet guy. He's got a lot going on in his head. Missions for Slenderman, his schizophrenia, post traumatic stress disorder from all the years of abuse and mental terror at the hands of his stepfather... Yeah, there's just a lot going on up there.

Toby's a pretty dualistic person. If you're a close friend, his SO, part of his found family, Toby is a healthy mix of serious and his own personal mix of goofy but dry humor. Expect dad jokes.

"The best advice I was ever given is: 'In life, there are three things you should never turn down. Candy. A woman. And bacon.' Two out of three ain't bad."

"I like my coffee like I like my metal. Black."

If you're not part of "Toby's world" (his inner circle) expect him to be kind of a jerk. He's an asshole, but he's our asshole.

His relationship with Masky and Hoodie is like watching a dad and a big brother deal with a younger sibling

A mix of love and patience, and tired-beyond-their-wits-end annoyance.

Toby says that Jane is like a sister to him. They spent a few years keeping each other alive when Zalgo took over the town where Jane was from, which coincidentally is where proxies safely live and interact

He used to be like brothers with Jeff, and Slenderman offered Jeff a proxy position, but Jeff turned it down. No one tells Jeff what to do, not even Jeff.

Works really hard to suppress his tics while on missions. Unfortunately, this exhausts him so he's a little short while working.

As a SO:

Toby's love language is physical touch, so if you don't like being touched a lot, Toby isn't the one for you.

He's not overwhelming with it. Just a thigh squeeze here, brushing his scarred fingers across your knuckles when he hands you something, forehead kisses, etc.

Something special between the two of you are your daily sparring practices. He always goes easy on you, likes teaching you things, and it makes him feel good knowing that he's taught you to defend yourself well.

He also really enjoys taking you on nature walks. None of the other proxies know, but the two of you have taken up bird watching after discovering that there was a pair of owls that live in the surrounding 10 mile radius.

Can't go on missions with you. He gets too concerned for your safety and accidentally leaves himself vulnerable trying to protect you. After it almost got him killed one time, Slenderman finally stepped in and sends you and him on separate missions now.

He misses you pretty badly when you're gone and lets it effect his mood in the worst way.

He's moody, snarky, standoffish and his kills are exponentially more brutal.

The only person who can deal with him when you're gone is Jane. She gives him a good shaking every once in a while to snap him out of it, but it never lasts long. The only thing that can make it better is you being back.

Once you're home, he's not gonna want to leave you alone for a while. He'll go wherever you go, within limits, until he feels he's spent enough time with you to make up for when you two were apart.

He gives you little gifts; things he's found while in town, a cool rock he found while monitoring a target, the first rose he sees in the summer time, a leaf that had turned really pretty colors during autumn

Is trying to talk Slenderman into letting the two of you have a pet, maybe a stray he finds (cat or dog), or a lizard he caught. He's not been successful so far, but he thinks he'll crack Slendy any day now

[woodchoc-magnum]

L*ne St*r Hate Watch 3x15

Disclaimer: Hi, if you love the show, please don't read this, have a great day

We're going to need a healthy dose of Eddie Diaz to get through this:

I am completely unspoiled so let's go

Some wannabe outdoorsman has stabbed himself in the thigh.

Okay so here's the situation, because I wasn't going to go into much detail but then the show ramped the grossness level up to 11 so now I have to talk about it – he was trying to stab an "alligator lizard" (no idea what that is) to grill up for his dinner (or, as we call it in Australia, his 'bush tucker'), and the lizard went onto his thigh and he stabbed himself with his big knife.

The twist is that the alligator lizard is currently inside his leg.

Yeah.

Also I'm eating popcorn and regretting choosing to eat whilst watching but anyway mistakes have been made and we just need to continue on

Tommy is using the patented "poke it with your finger" technique for extraction

Owen is still in therapy for his rage

The therapist is going to use "EMDR" on him and I actually know what this is, because my friend is a psychologist, and one time she went on this big rambling thing about how this works and my brain fuzzed out

I love her but it was a lot

Owen has seen a "clown nose" as part of his EMDR therapy and there was a kind of a flashback to a picture of a clown

So this is going to be a whole thing isn't it

Owen has "clown trauma"

We are actually having a second emergency this early in the episode and it's a fire??? Crazy

Okay so there's a dude trapped in the gym in this burning building, and the 911 operator in charge is not Grace – it's the guy from that episode ages ago who Grace absolutely  hated. Remember the guy who stole her lunch? That guy.

Anyway so the dude trapped in the fire is not doing well and can't find an exit, things are looking very bleak

The fire is now in the room with the dude and he is saying his goodbyes

When I say bleak I mean bleak

Dude just said "Thanks for trying" and the phone cut out, so… bleak.

Grace is now trying to empathise with the other 911 operator (his name is Dave, I need to remember that) and she's even invited him over to dinner okay interesting

Oh now we're checking in with the world's most healthy couple, and TK has brought home the alligator lizard??? What a moron

Carlos is pissed

Judd and Grace are such wonderful people and they're trying their best to make Dave feel better

Owen is trying to disprove that he has "clown trauma"

(he definitely has a problem with clowns)

Dave has spent the night at Grace and Judd's house uh oh

He is planning to sleep on their couch for a week and JUDD HAS INVITED HIM TO STAY (some kind of a plumbing issue)

Oh god Grace is going to murder them both

He used all the hot water, she's going to kill him

Also it's very obvious that American writers have written this British character (Dave's British) as he has just offered Grace "bangers and mash" for breakfast.

(for the Americans - bangers and mash is sausages and potatoes, it's a meal you would eat for dinner, not breakfast)

Omg I think we're getting another emergency? And guess what you guys – this time it features a clown!

The clown has fallen through a wooden playhouse and Owen is glitching out

A little kid has just called Owen out for being scared to his face, burnnn

Owen is having a full on panic attack

Also this is the first scene Rob Lowe has had with other members of the cast all episode, and in saying that, he is standing well in the background

Marjan and Paul have had approx one line each, Mateo… maybe one or two?

This show does a really bad job of featuring all the cast

Back to the world's healthiest relationship and Carlos still looks so pissed off? Oh shit the alligator lizard has escaped

Well who the fuck didn't see that coming

Because why? TK is a fucking moron

So my question is why the fuck wouldn't they just get like an iguana or some kind of other bearded dragon or something

The lizard is on the lam and Carlos is very, very pissed off

Grace has gone to Tommy's house to get drunk and escape Dave, it's a solid plan

So now their baby has taken her first steps without Judd and Grace there (Dave was babysitting) and Grace is really, really fucking annoyed

Also this baby is how the fuck old and already taking her first steps?

How old are babies supposed to be when they walk anyway - I just googled it and the answer is "between 8 and 18 months old". This show is crazy, that baby isn't even six months old the fuck

Oh great we're back to Owen in therapy

This episode has been super fucking boring ngl

The root of Owen's clown trauma is his father booorrrring

Okay so the dad walked out on the family when Owen was 12, so ten bucks says we're getting a reconciliation by the end of the season

Grace is about to break up with Dave

But also I think Dave is going to break up with Grace first??

He is accusing them of being SMOTHERING this is the FUNNIEST THING EVER

She may actually murder him.

Dave does not want to be around people and honestly? Mood.

He only stayed because he thought they needed it HILARIOUS

Checking in with the happiest couple in the world and Carlos is still pissed off!

Ugh I thought maybe they'd end this on an argument but nope

"I love you and I love how big your heart is" UGH give me a BREAK

He's so pissed off all episode and now it's just like "I love you for rescuing the the lizard" get real

This show remains stupid.

Okay so... yes, there were emergencies in this episode, but the rest of it was really boring.

Interestingly, though, I think Grace and Judd might have the A-plot over Owen this week? If I had to guess I'd say:

A-plot: Grace and Judd (and Dave)

B-plot: Owen & his therapist

C-plot: TK and his lizard

Everyone else (except Gina Torres) had maybe one or two lines each, if that.

And look if this show was just entirely about Grace and Judd living their best lives I'd be totally fine with that - at least their plot was funny.

It's just interesting how Rob Lowe really wasn't in any scenes with anyone else from the cast - except for one scene with Tommy, at the clown emergency, where he stood off to the side. It's crazy how separate he exists from everyone else in the show? Idgi.

Anyway, three episodes to go!

Eddie Diaz to close this thing out:

[fanmoose12]

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 7/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Сhapter 6

Life had never been particularly kind to Hange Zoe. Tragedies and heartbreaks followed her ever since the day she was born – kicking, screaming and nearly killing her own mother. Her mother never recovered from that blow, her health diminishing while vexation with her own child grew.

That day gave a start to Hange’s life – and to the endless stream of misfortunes she had to face.

Those misfortunes frequented, the amount of bad days increased as Hange was becoming older. But even as a child, driven solely by curiosity and fascination for the world, uncaring of the workings and the rules of the society around her, she had her fair share of frustrations. They usually appeared when her father was around – luckily, due to the nature of his work, he very rarely was. Hange didn’t know her father well, he was always absent, always somewhere else, doing something incredibly important, shaping the future of their country. He was many things - a leader, soldier, hero. But he was not a father. Hange had but a few memories of him, and after all these years she had forgotten the sound of his voice, couldn’t for the life of her remember if his hair was as brown as her own, or had she inherited that vivid color from her mother. But what Hange could never forget, what was etched into her memory for all eternity was the look in his eyes – full of incomprehension, bewilder, disappointment – that he always aimed at her. No matter what she did – excitedly gushed about her studies, showed him a shiny rock she found or urged to go and see the frog she caught, her father had the same reaction, always told her the same thing,

“I expected better from you, Hange.”

Those words were the first dagger that was buried in her chest. But it was far from being the only one.

Her father died before she reached her eleventh birthday. And despite the mourning clothes mother had forced her to wear, despite the endless eulogies she had to sit through, Hange didn’t feel the same sadness that everyone around her did, she didn’t – couldn’t – share their pain or understand their grief. Her father meant something for all those people, but to her he was just a stranger, an unpleasant one at that. When he died, a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Without him, it was so much easier to breathe.

But her sorrows, her frustrations— sadly, they didn’t end with her father’s death.

Once Hange finished her studies, completed her training, she was sent to the outside world, far away from Marley. And for a moment, for one fleeting moment, she was happy, excited to do what she always wanted – learn and explore. But she was not meant to busy herself with research, to familiarize herself with different cultures, she was sent to these distant lands as a soldier, a weapon of great Marleyan Empire. Instead of books and quills, she held a rifle and a knife. And the only thing she learnt was how much blood her motherland was spilling on the foreign soils.

Sleep was coming harder to her after that, her dreams were haunted by visions of red, by screams of pain and anguish. She had become a soldier, her hands made for creation were now covered in blood. Her brilliant mind was now broken by the horrors she had faced.

And so Hange decided to cover herself in thick armor, to hide behind a smile and false happiness. The bad days persisted, losses following after her like a shadow, chasing like an infatuated lover, but she didn’t let it break her, continued moving forward with her chin raised high and her lips curled up.

However, despite the positive attitude she had adopted, there were lots of days Hange considered bad, awful even – the day when she learned just how Titans were created, what price Eldians had to pay for that; the day when she realized that her teacher, brilliant Tom Ksaver was one of those so called shifters, that his days in this world would end abruptly; the day when she received her first wound and spent the night in infirmary, wallowing in pain; the day when she killed another human for the first time and saw the light fading from someone else’s eyes; the day when Wall Maria fell and she witnessed just how much destruction and devastation she helped to bring to this little island; the day when Mike and Nanaba died; the day when her squad perished; the day when she had to leave Paradis behind; the day when she was brought back.

There were lots of days Hange considered to be bad. But nothing – absolutely nothing – could compare to the fucking shit show that was waiting for her next.

___

This fateful day was off to a good, if only slightly weird, start. As always she was woken up by a knock on the door. However, this one was very different from Moblit’s – less rhythmic, and much louder. In fact, it didn’t sound like a knock at all, more like someone was kicking the door repeatedly.

Confused and still sleepy, Hange rolled from the bed and went to greet her guest, not bothering to put her glasses on. Behind the now opened door she found… a shape that could or could not belong to a human. She raised her hand, mumbled a quick ‘sorry’ and darted back inside the room, blindly searching for her glasses.

Once the specs took their rightful place on the bridge of her nose, Hange returned back to the shape that now took the form of a young, blonde man. She trailed her gaze down, to the tray he was holding. There were plates with pastries, omelet, sandwiches, sausages and a cup with brown liquid that had steam coming out of it.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke through her confusion, “But do I know you?”

“Not… yet?”

Hange couldn’t understand if his words were meant to be an affirmation or a question. Nevertheless, she took a step back, letting him in.

He went straight to setting up the table, humming under his breath as he did so. Hange watched him work, not knowing how to feel – puzzled or amused. She tried to catch the boy’s gaze and ask for his name, but, considering the amount of food he brought and how exquisitely delicious it looked, Hange already had a pretty solid guess about the persona of her visitor.

“Be my guest,” he gestured to the table after he finished setting it. Then, as an afterthought, he added, “My name is Niccolo.”

“I guessed it already,” Hange smiled, taking a seat. Her stomach growled, as the delicious smell of homemade food entered her nostrils, her mouth filling with saliva even before she took a fork in her hands. She forced herself to look away from the food, however, directing her eyes at the man who had prepared it all. “Thank you for the food, but may I ask what is the occasion?”

Niccolo didn’t answer right away. He took his time, dragging the chair to sit on the other side of the table, then absentmindedly fixing the napkin and pushing the plate closer to Hange.

She didn’t urge him, patiently waiting for him to start talking. She had a feeling that whatever he came here to tell her was going to be extremely interesting.

And Niccolo didn’t disappoint.

“I’ve spent most of my life hating Eldians. Like every good, conscious Marleyan, I believed them to be devils and abominations. When these people captured me I thought it’d be better to die than live among them. But then I’ve got to know them better, I cooked for them, I’ve talked with them, I… grew to like some of them.”

He took a pause, and Hange used this moment to push some food into her mouth. Just as she expected – it was finger-liking good. And it tasted even better, because she also had an intriguing story she could listen to while eating.

“And there is one person that I like most of all, more than anyone I had ever met. I’ve realized my feelings long ago - perhaps, they were born the moment that I set my eyes on her, perhaps, it was destiny that brought both of us together. And to think of it – a Marleyan and an Eldian. If someone had told me years ago that I’d fall for a devil from Paradis, I’d probably punch that person in the face, but look at me now…”

A Marleyan and an Eldian? Hange had heard that story before. Hopefully, Niccolo’s would have a happier ending.

“I wanted to confess to Sasha for a while now, but the time was never right, and I kept stalling… You know, I thought there was no reason to be hasty. but then Jean told me what happened during the attack on Liberio, how I almost lost Sasha and my chance to tell her how I truly feel, so…” Niccolo looked Hange in the eyes, his gaze shining with the love he had for Sasha. “I came to say thank you. For giving me another chance.”

Oh, what a sweetheart. Hange felt her chest warm at the sight of such devotion. She always was a sucker for a young, tender love.

“And?” she leaned over the table, eyes alight with curiosity. “What did Sasha say? She returned your feelings, right?”

“Um.” Niccolo brought a hand to his neck, rubbing the back of it. “I didn’t do it, didn’t, eh, confess. Yet.”

“And when—”

“Today,” he said, confidence returning to his voice. “I planned a dinner for Sasha, invited her family and friends. Actually… I wanted to invite you as well.”

Despite regret that spread through her, Hange curled her lips in a comforting, gentle smile. “Not the best idea, but I appreciate the thought. And,” she added, her smile turning into a cheeky grin. “I’ll be expecting another visit from you, where you’ll share all the details.”

Hange wished she could see it for herself – Niccolo standing before Sasha red in the face, stuttering his undoubtedly sweet confession, Sasha gasping, with her mouth opening in shock, their audience watching it all with a mix of mortification and amusement. Hange wished she could have the privilege of being the part of that audience, alongside a certain Captain, who would cringe horribly at the scene, unfolding before their eyes.

Hange wished— for many things. Alas…

“I’m sure your plan will work out perfectly, but just in case,” Hange winked, snickering, when she saw red spread through Niccolo’s cheeks. “Good luck.”

“Knowing Sasha’s friends… I’ll need all the luck I can get. But for now, I also need to get going, the dinner won’t prepare itself. So thank you once again.” Niccolo stood up, bowing his head. “For everything.”

“Make Sasha happy, that’s all the thanks I need.”

Niccolo nodded, showing her a smile. He headed to the door, and just before he left the room, Hange gave him thumbs up, wishing him luck once more.

As the door behind him closed, she slumped back in the chair and continued munching on her breakfast, a blissful expression appearing on her face.

So… not only a great cook, but also a romantic? Sasha was such a lucky girl.

___

Her next visitors were just as unexpected, and their conversation - a lot less pleasant. It was in that moment that Hange started to suspect that this day would take its rightful place in the collection of her awful ones. But she was far from knowing just how horrible it had the potential to become.

The moment that Armin tumbled inside the room without knocking, throwing the door open in his haste, and Mikasa trailed after him, her pace much slower but just as unsure, dread settled in Hange's stomach.

"Hange-san!" Armin was speaking in a quiet, but barely controlled voice. His chest moved rapidly, as he struggled to keep his breathing slow and even. Hange swallowed her worry, her thoughts running at a lighting speed. What could possibly have happened to make him so panicked? She chanced a look at Mikasa - the young girl wore the same guarded expression she always did, but her eyes kept shifting from side to side, hands clasped together tight enough to make her knuckles white. "We need to talk."

Hange gave them a cautious nod and stood up from the bed, the book she was reading moments ago all but forgotten now. Pieck's warning was loud in her mind, as her fear grew. Marley... they couldn't have attacked so swiftly, right?

Hange gestured for her guests to take their seats at the table that stood near the window. Absentmindedly, she wondered where Moblit was. He didn't show his face to her even once this day. What could he be so busy with?

"Your guard told us that you had a visitor today," Armin stiffly began. "Mind telling us who that was?"

Hange frowned, cocking her head to the side. If the guard told Armin about the visitor, didn't she also mention that it was Niccolo? The cooking boy had to be known around the barracks, if he was that close to Sasha.

"Niccolo came by, he wanted—"

"You mean, Marleyan came by." Armin corrected.

"Sasha's and your friend, if I understood properly," Hange protested.

"But he's Marleyan. Just like you."

So, Armin was accusing her. And not only her, but Niccolo too. Accusing them of conspiring, but for what purpose? By which means? Against who? Hange was so confused. Hange didn't understand. Armin was always so rational, so coolheaded. What could possibly make him so frantic? What drove him to such desperation, to such wild guesses?

"Armin..." any other time, with any other person who trusted her just a fraction more, Hange would have taken their hand in hers. She'd caress it gently, try to calm them down, but in Armin's state... Hange worried that it'd make matters even worse. "Armin," she repeated, lowering her voice ever so slightly, making it sound more trustworthy. "What happened?"

Armin didn't answer, lowering his eyes - in shame or indecisiveness, Hange couldn't guess. And so Mikasa took the word.

"Chief Zacklay is dead," she said. And if that wasn't mind-blowing enough, she added, "Eren escaped from the prison."

"Fuck."

What else was there to say? Everything was turned on its head - Paradis' biggest defender seemingly had gone completely off the rails. Hange wondered if the threat of Marley invasion was still the scariest crisis the island would have to face. The absence of the clear answer was… unnerving.

“We don’t know what to do, or where to look for Eren. That’s why… Armin hopes that you’ll shed some light on that.”

Armin hopes – an interesting choice of words. He didn’t think, didn’t speculate, didn’t hypothesize. He hoped – exhibited a desperate, illogical kind of feeling. So… it was that bad, huh?

“I know nothing about it.” Hange said truthfully. “As you’re aware I’m not even allowed to leave this room.”

“We know.” Mikasa agreed softly, pressing her hand to Armin’s. “But it’s hard to come to terms with it.”

“He is your friend.”

Hange didn’t understand what they were going through, she never had someone that close to her destroy the trust between them, but she knew it wasn’t easy. Eren had changed, Eren had already lied to them once, but he was their friend, they’ve spent years, believing him and in him. They couldn’t change their opinion of him in just one night, they couldn’t let a few mistakes kill what they had created over the course of their lives.

She couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how her friends felt. Was it just as hard to believe in her betrayal? Did Moblit and Levi feel just as lost and unsure? Were they just as desperate to come up with a reason for her behavior? Whatever they did, whatever they felt, Hange hoped she would never have to learn about it. She was miserable enough as it was.

But Eren knew what his friends were going through, had to be aware of the consequences of his actions, of what he was doing to his friends, how much he was hurting them. What drove him to his decision then? What happened to the boy with bright eyes and big heart?

“Do you have any idea what Eren is going to do?”

“I don’t think it’s Eren’s doing, Zeke is probably lying to him, but…” his eyes were still cast down, his finger weakly tracing some vague shapes, when Armin muttered, “Hange-san… do you by any chance know what rumbling is?”

Hange froze. Her throat constricted acutely, creating a quiet, choking sound. For one second, one terrifying second her heart stopped, ceasing its usual rhythm.

Rumbling? Did she hear correctly? Was Armin speaking the truth, did he mean what Hange was worried he meant?

Rumbling.

A short, but scary word. One that was mentioned in but a few frowned upon books. One that was only whispered amongst the members of Titan Society, too horrifying to speak it loud and clear. The word that meant death, the end of everything they knew about their world.

“We were meant to experiment with it,” Armin explained, wriggling his hands. “Nothing too serious, nothing too… devastating. Just a showcase of the power we yield, to keep the other nations on their toes. To keep them away from us. But ever since Zeke had appeared, Eren became so…”

Even since Zeke had appeared, Eren had decided to act on his own, distanced himself from his comrades and friends, joined forces with his brother. Hange would have believed, would have been convinced that the boy she once knew was incapable of such cruelty…

But Liberio, the heart of her homeland was standing in ruins. And it was Eren’s doing.

She narrowed her eyes, gave a scrutinizing look first to Armin, then to Mikasa. Hange really, really hoped that she was wrong. Against all sense, she hoped that they would drive away her doubts, that Eren’s closest friends knew him much more intimately than she ever could, that their opinion of him was right and just.

“Do you think he is capable of proceeding with it?”

“No,” Armin answered.

And the same time Mikasa said, “Yes.”

Yes, said the girl, who was in love with Eren, who was devoted to him above anything or anyone else. She said yes, spoke it quietly, in pained voice. But without a shadow of a doubt.

Hange shuddered.

She— they had to stop this. Somehow. Anyhow. Before it was too late.

"Eren can't activate the rumbling on his own," Hange mused out loud, biting at her thumb.

"Right," Armin confirmed. "He needs the bearer of the royal blood."

And that was good, that meant not all hope was lost. To go through with the rumbling, Eren had to find Zeke, and Zeke was out in the woods with Levi. He would never get away from Levi, and so the world was safe, but—

Zeke wasn't the only one with special blood. There was also—

Fuck.

"Historia, where is she?"

Armin's eyes widened, a gasp escaping him as he came to the same conclusion as Hange. "She arrived in the town... This morning."

And that was the morning Eren decided to make his escape. Hardly a coincidence.

"You don't think..." Armin began tentatively, his eyes pleading Hange to say that it was a joke, that she was wrong in her assumptions. She wished she could give him that reassurance.

"I don't know."

She didn't know what Eren's plan was, what was his goal, what was Zeke’s role in all of this. She didn't know what means Eren would use to ensure his success.

Would he go to his brother, would he trust him enough? Or would he go to Historia and risk hurting his friend?

And how Eren would get to them? Both Zeke and Historia were heavily guarded - Zeke as the hostage, Historia as a Queen and a future mother. But who was the easiest target?

With Levi being in charge of Zeke, Historia was an obvious choice, unless—

Hange swallowed heavily.

Unless Zeke was planning something too - some rouse, or a play, something that would fool Levi, make him lose his focus.

Make him lose Zeke.

And if that worked—

"Where is Historia?" Hange repeated that question. Hidden in the forest, theoretically, Levi was safe. He could hold his own in a fight against Zeke, Hange has seen him do just that in Liberio, even if some part of it was a spectacle. She also had seen Zeke after Shiganshina, personally tended to his wounds that refused to heal properly because of the amount of his injuries. Back then, every hiss of his was like a melody to Hange, a miniscule payback for the carnage he had born.

Zeke was far away from Eren, guarded by Levi. Hange had to trust him with that task. She had to hold onto hope that Levi would be safe. But Historia... Historia was another matter. She was here, close, and as good as her security was, they were not on par with humanity's strongest. They had to protect the Queen first.

"Historia chose this day to arrive because of Niccolo's invitation. She's probably in his restaurant, along with the others." Mikasa said.

So she wasn't alone, surrounded by soldiers and friends. Would that be enough to hold off Eren? Possibly, although, Hange wasn't sure.

But Eren was not alone, he had followers, the ones Moblit was so worried about. Would they be just as amicable? Would they not hurt the ones Eren cared so much about?

"Historia is our main priority. We have to go to the restaurant and make sure that—"

"We?" Armin interrupted.

Hange deflated. Of course, how could she forget? She wasn't their superior, their commander, their friend. There was no we. She was an outsider. She always were.

"I didn't mean to—"

"No." Mikasa curtly said. "We need you, Hange-san. We do," she repeated to Armin, who was already opening his mouth with a protest on his tongue. "We need all the help that we can get."

Armin studied Mikasa for a moment, then turned to face Hange, regarding her pensively. The intense look of his big blue eyes was unnerving, almost impossible to hold without flinching. There was a man Hange once knew with the same intent gaze. Oh, how she wished to see him again. He'd know what to do in a shitty ordeal they were facing right now.

"You're right," Armin sighed at last. "We might not have same goals or even enemies... but our concerns align. With you on our side, our chances are much higher. So, Hange Zoe," Armin offered his hand for a handshake. "Will you help us?"

An unlikely alliance then, huh? Hange could work with that.

She shook his hand with a smile.

___

Something was turning, twisting inside Hange on the way to the restaurant. Even the air seemed stiff, the landscape outside of the carriage bright, pretty but ominous all the same. Liberio - her city - looked just as lively before it got crushed.

And today, right now, she couldn't get that image out of her mind. The streets she walked through hundreds, thousands of times; bakeries she visited day after day; parks and playgrounds she admired from afar - everything was now gone, turned into debris, into nothing but broken stone and crushed glass.

And all of it - all the destruction, pain and blood and death - all of it was a courtesy of one Eren Yeager, the boy with bright eyes and passionate soul.

Would the same thing happen to another city? To all the cities in the world? To hundreds and millions of—

Hange took a deep breath, stopping herself before she screamed in fury, ripped something apart, overturned the carriage, or worse - started crying.

No. Nothing of the sort would happen to the other countries or their people. They would stop this— this catastrophe and Eren, and Zeke, and whoever else was involved. They would not allow another tragedy.

In the meanwhile, Hange did her damnest to focus on small, trivial things - the inside of the carriage, the bumps on the road, the subtle similarities between Mikasa and Levi, the sunbeam playing across Armin's face - anything to keep her mind from other, much scarier things. It didn’t really work.

"We are here," Armin announced, cutting through her morbid thoughts. He put a hand on her elbow - a tentative, but heartfelt gesture. Hange wondered just how disturbed she must have seemed to earn it.

"Let's go," she shook off all the worries, all of her fears. They weren't needed. They would slow her down, serve as a distraction, nuisance. And today, she had to be on her best. "We have no time to spare."

Mikasa and Armin seemed to be of the same opinion, and so the three of them left the carriage and started moving towards restaurant's entrance.

The place was much bigger than Hange had imagined it to be. She expected to see something small, but snug, something homely. But Niccolo's restaurant was grander than most buildings on Paradis. It didn't quite reach the luxurious and exquisite nature of restaurants in Marley, but— clearly, that was Niccolo's inspiration.

The restaurant - as big as it was - was packed, the merry sounds of laughter were heard even from the courtyard. People were celebrating, people came here to have some fun. Hange knew just how rare those instances were. And she hated being the one to put a stop to it. But she'd rather ruin someone's day and be wrong about her assumption or ruin someone's say and be right, than— Than not ruin someone's day, be right and waste precious time.

The three of them walked through the dark brown door, and instantly Niccolo stood in front of them, appearing seemingly out of thin air.

"Armin, Mikasa! I didn't think you'd make it! And you brought Hange with you!”

The happiness on his face was so endearing, so genuine. Hange was wrecked with sympathy for him. Niccolo was just a boy, who loved a girl, and decided that today of all days he'd make his feelings known. Unfortunately, the day he had picked turned out to be one of Hange's bad ones.

"Congratulations once again," Hange made sure to put on an extra gentle smile, in vain hope that it would soothe the effect of her next words. "But that's not why we are here."

"No?" the happiness was gone from Niccolo's face, suspicion overtaking it, but only for a second. Next came anger. "I thought we were over this," he leveled, glaring at Armin. "I thought we've already discussed everything you wanted. And I'm not going to deal with this bullshit again. Not today."

Niccolo whirled around, his leg raised to, no doubt, dramatically storm out. Mikasa's gravelly voice and a tight grip on his wrist stopped him. "If you don't want to ruin this day for Sasha, then take us to Queen Historia. Right now."

Oh. Even Hange felt shivers at that tone of voice, and the threat wasn't even directed at her. Was Levi teaching her his tricks? Or was every Ackerman just naturally good at being so scary?

Niccolo yanked his hand out of Mikasa's grasp, massaging it with a wounded expression. He didn't try to argue once again, though. And soon Hange, Armin and Mikasa were following after him to the banquet hall.

He took them through the lengthy hallway, past kitchen and washing room. At the edge of it, Hange could see two familiar figures - one tall, another short. They were standing next to a wooden cupboard, snickering quietly to each other. As they came closer, Hange realized that Jean and Connie were holding several bottles of wine, clearly having trouble choosing which one to open.

"Niccolo!" Connie yelled out, waving the bottles over his head. "Which one is better?"

"That's not for you, you idiots!" Niccolo snatched the bottles from their hands, his retort vicious— and more shaken than the situation truly called for. Any other day, Hange would have found it weird, would have paid more attention to it. Any day, but not during her bad day.

So she shrugged it off and after giving Jean and Connie a painfully awkward wave, continued following after Niccolo.

Once they were inside, Hange couldn't help but marvel at the amount of people gathered. There were lots of civilians, none of which Hange could recognize. And among them, there was a sea of green, representing the members of Survey Corps. Most of these faces were known to her. One of those faces in particular swiftly left the conversation he was having, gluing himself to her side.

"Hange-san? Armin? What is going on?"

Moblit had his mouth open, his eyes shifting between the three of them. Hange didn't know what he had seen there, what face she was making, but Moblit didn't ask another question, silently falling in step with them.

Sensing the change in the room, Jean and Connie hurried to do the same.

They all stopped in front of the table in the corner - one near the window and with a nice bouquet standing on it. The table was occupied by two - giggling Sasha, who was retelling some story in a rather animated fashion, and Historia, who listened to her friend with a joyful smile.

Looking at her, Hange couldn't help but be amazed. Last time she saw the girl, she had just become a Queen, still doubtful and unsure in her position. And, although, the woman before her eyes didn't look exactly royally – what, with her simple dress and long, loose hair - but Historia had certainly grown, become tougher, more confident in her abilities. However, she was still as pretty as a picture, and the motherhood had enhanced her beauty even further.

"Your Majesty," Hange was the first to take the word, but after that she faltered, not sure how to proceed further. Should she bow? Kneel before the Queen?

She was spared from making that decision. Because right in that moment, right when she was meaning to open her mouth and explain everything to Historia as curtly as was possible— her day turned from simply bad to straight up shitty.

"You!"

Familiar voice. The anger in it wasn't unusual too. Never before it was directed at her but—

Hange recognized the pride of Marley, the future Warrior right away. It was all she was allowed to do before getting promptly tackled to the ground.

"Traitor! Liar! How could you do that to us! How could you side with the devils?"

Gabi kicked and punched anything she could reach, accentuating her every word and accusation, but the blows were barely registered by Hange. She felt no pain, only huge amount of relief.

Gabi was furious, Gabi was loud. Gabi was alive and well.

A month, a whole month she spent worrying about these kids, only to have fate throw them back together in the most ludicrous way possible.

“Gabi,” despite her kicks, despite her loud shrieks, Hange smiled happily. She pulled the girl closer, wrapping one arm around her, while her other went to softly brush the girl’s hair. “Gabi, are you alright? You’re not hurt?”

“And why would you care?” Gabi suddenly sniffled, voice muffled by Hange’s shirt. “You never cared about us, did you? Only about those devils!”

“Gabi…” Hange sighed, finding herself at a loss of words. How could she explain something so complicated? Something she couldn’t understand herself?

Luckily, an unexpected help arrived.

"Don’t judge too harshly, child. You may not understand it yet, but humans' hearts are tricky things. No rules apply to them, they never listen to reason. They don't act like we want them to. They create emotions, make our lives brighter, and at the same time... So much more confusing. And accusing someone of caring for the wrong person… it’s just not right."

Hange looked up, surprised to see a middle-aged man standing before her. She was fairly sure that she had never met him before, but his eyes, his manner of speaking... Somehow, they were familiar.

Before she could connect the dots, however, her attention was ripped away once more, this time by Niccolo's deep voice.

"Eldians, Marleyans," he scoffed. "All of us are vile, devil is in each and every one of us. We're all imperfect, but all of us yearn to find the place where we belong, where we're loved. We don't choose who these people would be, we love others for what they are, not what they represent, or what side of the conflict they come from. And if loving my enemy is treason, I’ll gladly go down as a traitor."

Niccolo glanced back, meeting the eyes of the one he had dedicated this speech to. Hange caught Sasha’s bewildered, loving look and smiled, feeling her eyes go misty.

So, Marleyan and Eldian? Was a union like that even possible? Four years ago, on the dawn of the day when she left the one she loved the most behind, she'd say that it would never work out. But... times were changing, right? For the better, or so, at least, Hange hoped.

"Hange-san..." Moblit crouched beside her, painfully awkward. "Erm..."

Oh right. Only now, Hange realized that she was still lying on the floor. And that in on itself wasn't so unusual, but most of the times... she didn't have a ten or so pairs of eyes watching her.

Hange cleared her throat. Then, as absurdity of the situation caught up with her, snickered quietly.

"Hey, Gab," she stroked the girl's side. "Would you mind letting me get up?"

Gabi rose on her elbows, considering Hange. The frown on her face didn't vanish, but— her eyes weren't so full of rage anymore - clearly, the speeches had left an impression on her.

"I'm still mad at you," she said, lip stuck out petulantly. "But... I'm glad that you're here. Because it means they're coming for us, right? Commander Magath and Reiner— Reiner will save us, right? We just need to wait for a little longer, until they arrive."

They're already here, Hange wanted to say. If Pieck came, there was no way that Reiner would want to sit that one out— or be allowed to, anyway. Marley was coming, their guns blazing. But in the room full of members of the Survey Corps and Queen herself, Hange couldn’t say that, wasn’t yet ready to betray her country like that. She could only kiss Gabi's brow and promise, "You will be alright."

Reassured, Gabi nodded and let Hange get up. As soon as her feet had touched the ground, Hange found herself with someone once again wrapped around her. This time, however, the embrace was that much warmer and a lot less violent.

"Falco," she carded her fingers through his sandy blonde hair. "I take it you've missed me too?"

"You can't imagine," he spoke, his face pressed to her stomach. "Going on missions with Gabi is a torture! I could barely keep up with her!"

"You'll learn with time," Hange looked back, exchanging a look with Moblit. "It's not that hard to deal with annoying shits like us, right, Mob?"

He tugged at his collar, strategically evading her curious eyes. "Perhaps, after a very long while..." he reached out, patting Falco's shoulder. "And with the help of a good alcohol stash."

"Oi!" Hange slapped his arm. "He's only a kid!"

Moblit shrugged. "He has to know what is waiting for him."

"Don't listen to him," she gently consoled Falco. "He's joking."

Although... Hange had to agree with Moblit on that. If Falco continues running after Gabi like that, he'd have his first grey hair by the age of fifteen.

With the boy still clinging to her, Hange surveyed the room, swiping her gaze across Sasha and Niccolo, who stood side by side, wearing identical, enamored expressions, to Connie and Jean, who were whispering something to one another, and finally to Mikasa and Armin, who hid Historia behind their backs.

Right. She didn't come here for a cheerful reunion. The fate of the world was at stake. Hange pulled herself together and— pulled Falco away from her.

"Sorry, dear," she fondly ruffled his hair once again. "I need to go now, but I'll get back to you."

Could she do, though? Could she return to these kids, ask them to be placed under her care? Should she do it, considering that she didn't even know what was going to happen to her, where would she be one hour from now? Was it wise then to drag kids along with her? They were sharp and strong, more than capable, and they did survive on their own for so long— wait.

How did they manage to survive on a foreign soil, all by themselves? And why they were here today, in Niccolo's restaurant of all places?

"I guess these ducklings are yours?"

Oh. The familiar man that Hange had never seen was back, now standing in front of Hange, showing her a kind smile.

"We haven't been introduced, but it's hard to mistake you for someone else. Hange Zoe, right?"

"Right," Hange shook his warm, calloused hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Braus."

"The accent was a dead giveaway, huh?" he laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He had a nice laugh, Hange decided, deep, heartfelt and genuine. She liked Mr. Braus, just as much as she liked his daughter.

"I understand that you're the one who had taken care of my ducklings," Hange giggled, catching Gabi's very much unamused look. "Thank you for that."

"And thank you for saving my daughter's life. For that deed I could never repay you."

"That was... that was nothing. I did nothing, just happened to be in the right place, in the right time."

"It's only because of you that we're here, celebrating, instead of mourning. So," he gripped her shoulder tightly, his brown eyes staring into hers intently. "Let me express my gratitude, for that is the smallest thing that I can do."

"I think," Connie inserted himself between them, his mischievous smile lighting up the room. "This calls for a toast!"

No more than a second later, Jean had produced a bottle of wine, opening it swiftly and skillfully. Once the bottle was dealt with, he filled a glass with wine, thrusting it to the person standing closest to him. Which— happened to be Gabi.

She took all but a tentative sniff from the glass, before it was roughly yanked out of her hands. The drink splashed everywhere as Falco hurried to finish it, before Gabi caught up and took it away from him.

There was just as a couple of droplets left, everyone watched the scene in amusement, until—

Until Niccolo screamed.

He pounced from his place, wrestling the bottle out of Jean’s hands. “It’s not for you, morons! I told you not to touch it!”

Ice spread through Hange’s veins, as she heard the desperation in his voice. If her first thought was the right one… she had to make sure of it immediately.

“Who that wine was meant for?” she seethed, grabbing Niccolo by lapels of his shirt, suffocating him in her white-knuckled grip and currently not caring about it. Everyone in the room tensed, Sasha jumping closer to them, but Hange didn’t care, ignored all of them completely. “Who that wine was meant for?” she shouted, shaking the boy like a ragdoll.

“F-for the military officials! It’s the good stuff, expensive, it was meant only for them!”

The good stuff, the best one they got, Hange reasoned. The next question was pointless, she knew the answer already, was the one who came up with this idea in the first place, but— Niccolo was a good guy, a sweet boy in love with a kind girl. Hange wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“What’s wrong with the wine?”

And that was it. That’s all she had to do to get to the bottom of it. One short, simple question, and Niccolo crumbled. He didn’t try to fight her, made no attempts to protect himself. He hanged his head in shame, avoiding the dozen pairs of eyes that now were boring into him.

“They made me do it,” he whispered, his hands, his lips— his whole body shaking. “I had no choice, you wouldn’t understand—”

Oh, but Hange did understand. Better than Niccolo knew. She knew how it felt to be forced to follow the current, accept every cruel tide. She knew just how frustrating, how painful it was to lose control.

So yeah, Hange understood. But she could not excuse.

However, she had no place to judge as well, she herself was a reason for so many tragedies and disasters. She couldn’t judge, and she didn’t have the time for it. The deed was already done, now they had to try and undo it.

“Who gave you the orders?”

The spine fluid, injected into wine, came from Zeke, that Hange had no doubt about, but Zeke was far away, deep in the forest, under Levi’s watchful eyes. So who had redistributed the wine? Who was the betrayer, the real culprit?

“It’s—”

He didn’t get to finish. For only now Hange had realized what had happened moments prior. Falco drank the wine. Falco. Drank. The. Wine.

Her heart thumping, Hange pushed Niccolo away, grabbing Falco’s hand instead. Armin, Mikasa, the Queen, let someone else deal with that shit, for now she had to try and delay the inevitable. She looked around, her eyes wild, mind racing. “Where— where is the bathroom or— or a—”

“I’ll show you.”

It was Moblit’s quiet, reassuring voice. He gripped her elbow gently, taking her away. Hange let herself be led, rubbing soothing circles into Falco’s palm all the while. She didn’t know what do, wasn’t even sure that spinal fluid can be taken out of someone’s system, but she’d be damned if she wouldn’t at least try. Falco, sweet, smart Falco, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be turned into a Titan, a mindless creature with no loyalties and feelings. Hange wouldn’t allow it, she was ready to do the impossible and then more to save the little boy.

Once they reached the bathroom, Hange set out to work - took off her coat, rolled the sleeves of her shirt, sat Falco down on a stool, pushed his head under the faucet, instructed him to try and rinse all the wine out.

It was possibly entirely pointless, Hange was pretty sure of it— but. What else could she do? Sit tightly and wait for the young life to vanish?

"That thing in the wine..." Moblit spoke up - calmly, but defeated, as though he had already surrendered to whatever tragedy that would befall him. "It's bad, isn't it?"

Hange tensed. Hange jumped to her feet, fisting her hand into Moblit's shirt so desperately, the fabric creaked in protest.

"Moblit," she croaked, her voice shaking, broken, eyes begging him to say that he was joking, that his inquiry was simple curiosity. "Moblit, did you drink that wine?"

"It was served at every government meeting. I couldn't refuse."

No. No. Hange couldn't believe, didn't want to believe it, Moblit— not Moblit, she didn't want him to fall victim to this, become another casualty in her long, extremely bloody career. Anyone else, but not— not him.

"It's the same tactic we used in Ragako village," she explained numbly. "Back then it was gas, this time the fluid that turns people into Titans was added into wine. It activates after Zeke screams."

"Ah," Moblit shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "If - when - I turn, you could experiment on me. Just— don't give me a stupid name like Sawney or Bean, I'd like, I think, I'd like to be called Moblit. If I'd still have some semblance of consciousness by that time, if not - you can call me whatever you—"

"Shut up." Hange choked, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She ignored them, glaring fiercely at him. "Shut the fuck up, Moblit, you will not turn into a Titan, I will not allow it, I'll do whatever I can—"

"Hange-san," he smiled, and it broke her heart. "It will be okay."

It won't. Because it was her damn creation, made to defeat faceless, unknown enemies. And now it was used against people she cared about.

She had to do something about it. With a start Hange realized that the solution was... fairly easy.

"Avoid Zeke at all costs." She told Moblit, urgency turning her speech more frantic. "Don't go near him, try— try to get away if he gets into city—"

But Zeke couldn't get into the city. Zeke couldn't get out of the forest at all, couldn't make a single move without Levi knowing it.

Levi was the solution. He would keep Zeke under his guard, he would keep Moblit, and the rest of them, safe. Hange finally could take a breath.

But the calm didn't last for long.

As soon as she returned to Falco's side to check on the boy's condition, a loud crash came from somewhere deep within the restaurant. Hange heard the sound of hurried footsteps, then a concerning scream.

She exchanged a look with Moblit. Both of them started running at the same moment.

When they tumbled inside the main room, they froze in shock.

Sasha's family, members of Survey Corps and among them— soldiers with rifles. Hange scanned the room once more, her eyes travelling further, to the table by the window. She breathed out in relief - Historia was guarded by Connie and Jean. At least, the Queen was safe.

But not the rest of them.

"Squad Leader Moblit," the ginger head took a step towards them, a too wide smile plastered on his face. Hange didn't like that man and his smile. And the gun in his hands. The gun that was now aimed at the ceiling but could be very well aimed at Moblit, or anyone else in that room. “You’re the one I need.”

Moblit inched closer too, his chin held high and eyes defiant. Hange didn’t miss the fact that his movement hid her behind his broad shoulders. Oh, loyal, caring Moblit. How could she leave him to his fate?

“I’m here,” he leveled to the redhead. “What do you need me for, Floch?”

If it wasn’t for the gun in his hands, or the smile on his face, the way Moblit spelled his name – the obvious aversion, unhidden contempt was enough for Hange to understand that this Floch guy wasn’t very nice. And, despite the Wings of Freedom on his back, he certainly wasn’t Moblit’s friend.

So. That was one of the famed Yeagerists? And the rest of them, the ones that held civilians on gunpoint were the part of the same group? Hange was so not impressed.

“You’re buddies with Captain Levi,” Floch continued. “That means you know exactly where he is hiding.”

“Perhaps.” Moblit nodded. “But what makes you think that I will tell you?”

Floch’s smile grew, and the gun that was held lazily in his hand, pointing at the empty air, moved. It was lowered down, its barrel now staring right at Moblit. But the gun didn’t stop there, it moved again, shifting just a little to the side. To where Hange was standing.

“Hange Zoe, right?” Floch tilted his head, so he could look straight at her. “I didn’t have the pleasure to make your acquaintance before, but I’m glad that life threw us all together. Especially now, for you see…” he lifted a hand, and a soldier took his place, his rifle raised, while Floch paced from side to side. “I’m not allowed to hurt them,” first he pointed at Jean and Connie. “Or her,” now at Historia. “I’m, however, allowed to do with the others whatever I want. And since hurting our dear Squad Leader Moblit wouldn’t bear the needed results…” he spread his arms, shrugging helplessly. “No one would miss a traitor, right?”

“Don’t you dare!” Moblit surged forward, shoulders shaking from the unbridled fury. But he made no more than a few steps, before he was immobilized, two soldiers coming from behind to grab his arms and twist them painfully. Moblit didn’t back up even then, continuing his fierce resistance. “Leave her out of this!”

“Ah, yes,” Floch chuckled to himself, observing Moblit’s struggling with morbid fascination. “The luck is surely on our side today. You will be useful after all, Hange Zoe. We will take you with us.”

No sooner than these words left his mouth, Hange felt a pair of hands around her, subduing and enabling to make a single move. She thrashed, she kicked, but to no avail.

“Floch—” Moblit grounded, pulling on his restraints.

“Don’t you worry,” Floch squeezed Moblit’s shoulder, showing him a look of feigned affection. “No one is going to get hurt, if you cooperate.”

No. They couldn’t cooperate. Cooperating meant leading Floch and his bunch to Zeke, and that meant leading them to Levi.

“Mob! Don’t listen to him! We can’t–” instinctively, momentarily forgetting about the arms that held her down, Hange reached out to him, trying to catch his eyes.

But Moblit turned his face to the other side, avoiding her gaze. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I can’t let you get hurt.”

Ah. Hange’s heart sunk, while Floch clasped his hands in delight.

“I’m glad you’ve made the right choice! And now,” he raised a finger, and Hange with Moblit were forced to move forward. “Let’s get going!”

___

Outside, the weather changed. The sun hid behind the heavy, grey clouds, the rain was now steadily falling down, creating puddles under their feet.

The gloomy weather further enhanced the trepidation inside Hange. The feeling, the certainty that something was going to get very wrong and very fast persisted, forcing her to grab the reins of the horse tighter, in vain hope of providing some miniscule outlet to her ever growing anxiety.

Despite the fear, Hange spurred her horse forward, doing her best to ignore the rifles pointed at her back. It was proving to be quite a vexing task, when the said rifles kept pushing her to move even faster but— it wasn’t the worst situation Hange had found herself in. That time when she and Zeke were captured by the enemy forces and put inside a fortified prison was so much worse. The prison had anti-Titan artillery surround the perimeter, they were alone and cut off from their allies. And still they managed to escape. Compared to that, a few Yeagerists were nothing.

Although, Hange had to admit – the stories did them no justice. In reality they were a lot more vile and disgusting.

But, apparently, Levi still trained some of them. And, boy, did he teach them well. One soldier behind Hange kept huffing, cursing the weather under his breath. Hange waited, and when he once again got distracted by the mud that splashed on his boot, she thanked Levi for his absurd obsession with cleanliness and acted, stealing that little moment for herself.

“Hey,” she leaned closer to Moblit who was riding right beside her, and whispered to him in a voice just slightly louder than the sound of the rain. “Remember that thing we did during Erwin’s coup-d'etat?”

Moblit winced, anxiety reflecting in his eyes. “When we punched people that were armed with rifles?”

Hange grinned. Atta boy, of course, he remembered. ��I’ll give you a signal,” she nodded discreetly and returned to her previous position, now directing all of her attention on their fearless, redheaded leader.

“So Zeke is your main goal, right? You don’t actually need Historia?”

Floch scoffed, rising his nose up in distain. “The Queen is a back-up plan.” Wow, getting information out of them was that easy? Some devoted followers they were. Hange continued listening, eager to know what else Floch would reveal. “We’re not sure what exactly is going to happen, and Eren… doesn’t like hurting his friends.”

They weren’t sure what was going to happen. Only for these words Hange was ready to throttle each and one of them. What was going to happen? Mass destruction and death, a lot of unnecessary deaths.

But did these children care? Of course, they didn’t.

And would Zeke care about it? Hange wasn’t sure. Zeke was many things – cruel, violent, heartless, he never cared that much about other people. However, he was his father’s son, and, as much as he had loathed Grisha Yeager, Zeke still carried around the hero complex that his father fought so hard to plant inside him. Was it possible then that Zeke would be against the rumbling? Was it possible that he didn’t know of Eren’s true intention, that he blindly trusted his little brother?

Was it possible that their goals didn’t align? If so… then Zeke was a key player in this game of chess. He was a powerful figure they had to get on their side. If Hange could talk to him—

A loud sound, a crashing bang interrupted the flow of her thoughts, making her jump in the saddle.

That noise, it was similar to a thunder, but not quite. Hange knew that sound all too well, was the one who created the devise that was activated with the very same sound.

It couldn’t be— that noise couldn’t come from a thunder spear explosion. But… what other explanation was there?

“Let’s head there!” Floch commanded. “Something must have happened.”

Hange’s heart raced as they inched closer and closer to the place where the sound had come from. It wasn’t hard to find, the gory sight of the poor, wounded horse and the blasted cart was easy to spot.

They approached it slowly, and suddenly Hange froze, her eyes landing on something near the riverbank. Something that looked a lot like a body – a short one with strong stature and black hair—

“Moblit,” she whispered, begging him to clear her suspicions, to reassure her that she was mistaken.

But Moblit pursed his lips, and shook his head – brief, but resolute.

For a second, Hange froze, overcome with desperation and fear. Her heart stopped too, if just for a moment.

Levi, he couldn’t— but what if he did?

Ignoring the insistent shouts and strict orders to come back, Hange jumped off the horse, scrambling to get closer to the riverbank and to him.

She fell into the mud, uncaring of her clothes, of the mud she was splashing around. She felt nothing, the rain, the river, her captors, it all faded into background. She cared for nothing else, except the limp body in her hands.

Oh, please, please, please.

Her hands trembled as she turned the body to face her, careful as she could be. A bloody mess, her personal nightmare stared right back to her.

And in that moment— Hange felt her heart break, ripping, shuttering into thousands pieces. She thought she knew loss before, she thought she knew what pain was.

She was so wrong.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Of something beautiful, but annihilating🚬2

Warnings: nonconsensual sex, violence and abuse, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of death [other warning to be added throughout series]

This is dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader’s husband brings home an unexpected houseguest.

Note: Still working a lot but here’s another chapter. I work gaming and the console launches are just killing me for real. Why do (some) gamers have to be idiots?

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You awoke stiff and cold. Your legs were tucked up under your nightgown as the early spring turned frigid in the night and your muscles ached as you fell onto your back. You were still young but you didn’t feel it. The deep snores still rose from the bed as you sat up and the soft light of dawn broke through the curtains.

You suspected that Roy would be just as unpleasant once it came time to rouse him. You got to your feet with a grumble and rubbed your tender stomach. You could feel the bruise and winced as you went to the closet to gather your clothes for the day. The usual; a plain blouse and dull skirt. Then you took a pair of old nylons, some underwear and your brassiere from the chest of drawers.

You wrapped yourself in a robe and crossed to the washroom to quickly clean yourself up before you dressed. You stared in the mirror, your eyes puffy with fatigue. You sighed and dumped your robe and nightgown in the bedroom before you continued on downstairs.

If there was anything that would placate your husband, it was food. Since your wedding day, he had put on quite a few pounds, not that he had ever been particularly slim. He had also aged more than three years of your union, though he was ten years your senior already. Well, your father and mother had about the same difference between them; it was far from unusual.

You took out your iron pan and placed it on the stove, a relic of the Depression era but still able to catch a flame. Your father was always proud of his old appliances. Before you were born and in the early years of your life, he’d worked hard to build not only the farmhouse but a home for his young family. Those years before the war had remained his most precious until the end.

You took out the tray of eggs and the small sausages bartered at a discount from the butcher. You hated to think of replacing the puttering fridge but you doubted it would hold up another couple decades. That in itself would be a battle with Roy. He worked hard for his money. It was difficult enough to negotiate a pair of nylons without holes from the terse man you called your husband.

You were startled as you heard a footboard whine. You turned and accidentally cracked an egg onto the floor as you did. Arvin was dressed in jeans and a plain tee. His overalls were slung over his arm as he entered.

“You’re up already?” You asked as you bent to clean up your mess. “Hope it’s not ‘cause of me.”

“I’ve always been an early riser,” he assured you, “Need any help with that?”

“No, no,” you stood with the egg and shell in your hand, “I think I can manage.” You went to the bin and dumped your handful. “You drink coffee? Orange juice?”

“I wouldn’t mind some milk, if it isn’t too much a bother,” he smiled. “But I can fetch it myself.”

“You don’t have to--”

“You keep saying that. I respect that this is your house, ma’am, and you’re used to doing all the upkeep but I don’t mind at all.”

You pursed your lips and nodded. You wiped your hand on a dish cloth and went back to adding eggs to the mixing bowl. You listened to his footsteps as they continued onto the dining room and he returned to search for a glass among the cupboards.

“Here,” you reached up and opened the cabinet, “Milk’s on the middle shelf in the fridge.”

He neared and grabbed a tall glass from the rows. He was awfully close as he did. He set the glass down on the counter and went to the fridge. You listened as he struggled with the handle.

“You gotta wiggle it. Don’t be afraid to put some muscle into it.” You chuckled.

The door popped open and you heard him grunt. You whisked up the eggs as he approached with the milk jug and filled his glass. He paused as he watched you work. A long silence rose between you, interrupted only by the clink of the whisk on the bowl.

“You got any laundry?” You asked suddenly. “I can manage another load today.”

“If it’s not too much,” he lifted the jug and slowly backed away, “The laundromat isn’t much for efficiency. Sometimes I think my shirts come out more stained than before.”

You listened as he put the jug away and took his glass from beside you. You felt his lingering gaze before he left you but ignored it as your tendency to overthink. He was a kind, young man and you had grown unused to that. 

You loved Roy, tried to at least, and you reminded yourself that he hadn’t always been bad. You hoped that he could be good again. Perhaps Arvin could help with that.

You moved stiffly around the stove. Your muscles strained more with each stretch of your arm or bend of your leg. The floor never left you in very good shape and your apron reminded you of the bruise that deepened along your torso.

When the eggs were fluffy and the sausage browned, you climbed the stairs to wake your husband. You stayed in the doorway as you called to him. It was best not to get close when he was hungover. 

He grumbled and threw a pillow. When you reminded him he would be late to work, he lobbed the lamp. It landed a good foot from you but still caused a thunderous thump on the floor before the bulb shattered.

You left him. He would rouse himself and be too late to bother much with you. He would also have an audience to keep him in line.

You went back downstairs and plated the food; you covered Roy’s before you laid it out on the table along with your own and Arvin’s. You sat across from your houseguest as he greedily eyed his breakfast.

“What was that?” He asked as his brown eyes flicked up to the ceiling.

“Silly me,” you twirled your fork nervously, “I tripped over the cord of the lamp and brought the whole thing down.”

Arvin nodded and his cheek twitched. He said nothing as he cut into a sausage and you pushed around your eggs without eating. Your appetite was soured by memories of the previous night. If fate and alcohol favoured you, Roy would not recall it so well.

“Did you sleep well?” You asked suddenly as you tried to distract yourself. “I know the attic gets a bit gusty, walls aren’t very thick and that couch is old…”

“I slept finer than I have in months,” he replied, “Thank you.”

“You’ve been down at the motel, Roy said. You new in town?”

“Was meaning to just pass through,” he swallowed, “But a few odd jobs turned into a full gig down at the garage. I used to fiddle around with my aunt’s truck when I was a kid and… guess I figured a few things out.”

“Oh? And where’s home? Is that where you were headed?”

“Leavin’, actually. Sometimes you just outgrow where you’re from.” He said wistfully, “Life shakes you awake and says ‘go or die’ and you’re too restless to wait around for the inevitable.”

Your mouth fell open. His face had fallen, a lifetime worth of worries and tragedies set in his thin lips and squared his jaw. He looked through you at the past that had chased him all the way to your doorstep. The naive boy fractured before you to the frightened young man. And then, he was gone.

He smiled and was once more firmly sat in the present.

“I know what you mean.” You said quietly.

“So…” He set his fork down, “You from here then?”

“Daddy’s house. Never left it.” You confessed, “Never had the courage to stop waiting, I suppose.”

“You got lots of time for that,” Arvin said, “You know, when life’s seemed to slow down, it starts back up all at once.”

You rubbed your fingertips along the tablecloth. You looked at your plate, your food barely touched.

“You okay? You’re not eating.”

“I’m fine,” you lied, “I didn’t sleep too much…. there’s this shutter that just knocks against the house when it’s windy, you know?”

He leaned back and considered you. He grabbed his glass of milk and drained it.

“So, how long have you and Roy… been married?” Arvin asked.

You heard the stairs creak and stiffened in your seat. You tapped your fork on the lip of the plate and cleared your throat.

“Three years,” you said as Roy’s grumbles grew louder. 

“Oh,” Arvin glanced over as Roy stumbled in and caught himself on a chair. You stood and uncovered his plate as he sat. He waved you away groggily and swiped up his fork. “A long time and not very long at all, then.”

“Mhmm,” you sat and watched Roy nervously. He said nothing as he shoved a whole sausage in his mouth and groaned. 

“Coffee,” he choked out.

You diligently went to the task of pouring him a mug and returned as Arvin watched him with a placid awareness. You set down the cup and Roy emptied it just as fast as it appeared.

“Too much beer, huh?” Arvin chuckled.

Roy tilted his head and gulped down his mouthful. “Maybe you’ll join me tonight,” your husband challenged. “Boy your size, one bottle’ll have you on your ass.”

“Probably,” Arvin said coolly. “Maybe I’m better stickin’ to water.”

You sat gingerly and looked between the two men. You realised how easily Arvin had distracted Roy. How he kept the temperamental man from his usual morning rage with a few words. You wondered if he had dealt with men like Roy before. Or maybe he had no idea what he was doing at all.

“You want me to drive today?” Arvin ventured, “You can close your eyes on the way.”

“Probably best you do,” Roy smacked his lips, “Don’t know I’ll be very useful at the garage.”

“Ah, just keep your head under that old Chevrolet and no one can tell you’re napping,” Arvin laughed at his own joke. “I won’t tell.”

🚬

You filled your day as any. Your chores kept you busy; laundry, sweeping, dusting, prepping dinner for the return of your husband and the houseguest you kept having to remind yourself of.

You made certain to fold Arvin’s clothes and stack them neatly in a basket for him. He didn’t have much; a few pairs of jeans, some tee shirts, two sweaters, and a denim jacket. You would search through your father’s stuff and see if there was anything worth salvaging.

When the old truck rumbled in front of the house, you were shoving a glazed ham into the oven. You wiped your hands on your apron and strode through to peek through the window. Arvin was quicker than Roy, smaller, younger. Your husband stomped across the gravel as the other man kept a deliberately slow pace behind him.

You opened the door to greet them as they neared the porch.

“How was your day?” You asked as you held open the door.

“A day that calls for a beer,” Roy snarled as he brushed past you. You couldn’t remember when he’d stopped kissing you; sometimes, you were certain you’d imagined he ever had. 

“It was good,” Arvin said softly as he smiled at you. Roy ambled into the front room and fell onto the sofa. “How was yours, ma’am?”

“Well enough,” you replied pensively as you watched your husband, “You want a beer too?”

“No, it’s still a bit early… Actually, I’ll get his beer.” Arvin said, “Why don’t you take a break?”

“She can do it herself,” Roy growled. “What else she gonna do around here?”

“I’m goin’ that way anyhow.” Arvin said. “Think I’ll get myself some water.”

“She’s my wife. She can serve me. Well, you would think she could.”

“Please,” you looked to Arvin pleadingly, “Just sit down.”

He stared at you and nodded slowly. His arm jerked as if he was going to touch your elbow but he backed away and turned to drag his feet into the front room.

“I have some Coke?” You offered, “If you prefer that.”

“Water,” Arvin said dully, “Thank you.” 

You slowly retreated but didn’t miss the way Arvin glared at Roy. He sat in the armchair and bit his thumb as he watched the other man. You spun before you could overthink it and scurried into the kitchen. You grabbed a bottle from the fridge and poured a glass of water. You hurried back to offer the refreshments and rung your hands as you hovered in the doorway.

“Your laundry’s on the landing,” you said meekly, “And Roy, I fixed the lamp.”

Roy merely belched as Arvin lifted his chin and sighed.

“Thank you,” Arvin uttered and set aside his glass, “Show me where that bed is and I’ll move it after dinner.”

“I--” You hesitated and looked at Roy fearfully. He was entirely unconcerned with anything but his beer. “Sure.”

Arvin stood and you led him to the stairway. He followed you up and bent to lift the basket from the landing. You turned to him and he was quick to take the clothes from you.

“I didn’t want to go up there without you knowin’,” you said, “Since it’s your space now.”

“I appreciate all you’ve done.” He hugged the basket. He pressed his lips together and peered back down the stairs. “Are you alright?”

You frowned as he looked at you again. You turned your hands out and shrugged. 

“I’m just fine.” You lied.

He squinted then his eyes fell to the clothes. “Well, you let me know if you need help. With anything.” He slowly edged away from you, “I might be payin’ Roy but I won’t be living on your hard work, ma’am.”

“I-- It’s my job to--”

“It’s his job to love you, with all due respect,” Arvin set down the basket and grabbed the cord of the attic hatch, “Ain’t no work hard enough at the garage that he can’t do that.” The stairs slid down and he picked up the basket again. He placed a foot on the bottom of the latter as he cradled the laundry in one arm. “I’ll be down for dinner.”

🚬

Several days passed with little change. Arvin barely seemed to affect things around the old farmhouse; he kept to himself mostly but helped where he could. Roy didn’t change either. His moods, his brutality, his demands. As you always had, you distracted yourself with your chores.

On Saturday, Roy announced that he was going fishing. Arvin refused an invitation and it didn’t seem to bother your husband. It did, however, make you wonder. Most men in the area were eager to be away from the homestead with a rod or rifle in hand. Well, it didn’t seem like your houseguest was most men.

You bid Roy goodbye. He was in a happier mood and let you kiss his cheek as he packed up his bait box. When he was gone, you went about your usual. You would sweep and dust the entire house before you started lunch; a small one as Roy took his with him.

When you got to the dining room, Arvin was at the table. He had a small, leather-bound notebook before him as he scribbled in it with a stubby pencil. He smiled as you hit the doorframe with the broom and apologized under your breath. He went back to his work and you went about your own, quietly, carefully.

As you bent to sweep up the dirt into the pan, you looked at him. His reddish-brown hair hung forward, the strands dangled along his nose. You stood and neared the table.

“I don’t know how you see anything,” you remarked.

He lifted his head and his hair tickled his cheeks. He chuckled and closed the notebook around the pencil.

“Guess I’m just used to it,” he said, “Do you ever sit down? Don’t think I could run around like you in those heels?”

You glanced down at your kitten heels. Not very high or fancy. You gripped the broom and leaned on it.

“I just think my feet are naturally curved now,” you kidded. “Sorry, if I interrupted you.”

“No, no, you’re right. I need a haircut,” he pushed his hair back and stretched as he bent his arms behind his head. “Been a while.”

There was silence between you. You weren’t sure why you’d broken it in the first place. Usually, you wouldn’t dare bother Roy. He always had the first word. And the last.

“I cut Roy’s hair. I could do yours.” You were shocked at your own words and snapped your mouth shut bashfully. “Or you could go down to Hannon’s and get him to give you proper trim. I’m just… offerin’.”

“Really?” He sat up, “If you wouldn’t mind. I’m tryna save my money for a car of my own right now. I’ll pay in labour? Got this old batter recipe I learned as a kid. Roy brings back some good fish and we’ll have some filets.”

“You don’t--” You voice died as he gave you that look. How many times had you said those words? ‘You don’t have to do that.’ You took a breath. “Bring a chair in the kitchen and I’ll get the scissors.”

You went to the kitchen and dumped the dustpan. You leaned the broom against the wall and searched for the scissors in the second drawer. You heard Arvin behind you as you took a dish cloth and turned to him. He placed the chair in the middle of the floor and sat.

You tucked the scissors into your apron along with the comb you kept with the old silver shears. You neared him and held up the cloth. “I’m just gonna tuck this into your shirt to catch the hair.”

“That’s fine,” he smiled at you as you bent to wrap the dish cloth around his neck and tucked it into his collar carefully. Your fingers grazed his neck and you saw him tense.

You backed up and took out the comb. 

“Where do you usually part it?”

“I usually just comb it back but then it just kinda… falls,” he snorted bashfully. “So, just wherever.”

You rounded him and combed his hair back before parting it along the left side. It split naturally from his crown and you did your best to be precise. You pulled his hair up with the teeth of the comb and began to cut away the length. The chopped ends fell over the towel and the shoulders of his tee. 

As you came around the front, he watched you with his deep brown eyes. You tried not to fidget against his intent gaze.

“Close your eyes,” you said and he seemed reluctant to do so. You began to snip as you let the hair hang to see the length and lifted it again to cut away more. 

“So, you got any records for the player?” He asked. The question surprised you but eased you.

“My daddy loved Sinatra and Crosby.” You said. “But I don’t suppose many listen to that anymore.”

“Well, some,” he said, “You ever listen to Ray Charles? I was down at the general store and they… they were selling his album at discount.”

“Oh?” You leaned closer as you softened the blunt ends of his hair, “I think… on the radio. Sometimes, I turn it on when Roy’s workin’ but I always make sure to turn it back to his station before he gets home or he--”

You stopped yourself and focused on your task. You didn’t want to mangle his hair. He had such nice hair. Soft and thick.

“Or he what?” Arvin opened his right eye.

“Or, you know… he just gets real upset. The dial on that old thing is so fussy,” you moved around him so the heat receded from your cheeks. “Just don’t want him breakin’ it.”

“You think he’d break it? Over that?” Arvin asked gently.

You chewed the inside of your lip. “No,” you said after a pause, “No, Roy can be grumpy but he wouldn’t…” You sniffed and combed his hair, “Maybe we can dig out some of my daddy’s records when I’m done.”

“Maybe,” he said evenly as he tapped his fingers along his thigh. “A little music might brighten this place up.”

[kyotakumrau]

2020.12.21 The World You Live In at Zepp Tokyo, 2nd event report

Fujieda again started with greetings, introduced himself and Takabayashi and then asked for applause for the band members.

And we got quite a surprise!

Kaoru and Toshiya came on stage!

Thus making Tokyo the only place where band members changed for each slot/session. As much as I'd love to see Kyo again I was happy as my friend only went to Tokyo and she's Toshiya's fan😊

F: please introduce yourself.

Kaoru: you already did lol. I'm Kaoru.

T: I'm Toshiya.

F: the last video you just watched was different from other sessions. The trailer for the concert film screenings that will start from February. It's something only you know right now. As you can imagine from the title it will be something similar to this, with the band members coming for the talk after.

K talked a bit about the situation as well.

T: it's still difficult to hold concerts, but this is something we can do. So I hope you will look forward to it.

Next F started the 'merch items introduction corner', he passed the items to the members.

K: I was watching the 1st slot and we talked about them in Osaka, too. (he talked more about the items and what members said)

F: yes, everything can fit in the pouch so it's a very useful item. You can buy all merch items and put then in the pouch and take home like that. Let's look at Toshiya's big pick key chains (he pronunced that very carefully😂)

They talked about members signs and company logos when suddenly K requested to have to lights in the venue set brighter so he could see everyone.

After that F announced they wil start with questions from the fans, passed the part of papers to others, but K gave his to F saying it's better if he chooses.

T: ok, I have a good one! 'It was Die's birthday yesterday, did you send him a birthday message? And are there any memorable presents you've received in the past?'

T: I got a bicycle. I was really happy at first, but then it was stolen from the parking area.

F: when was it?

T (I didn't catch it but from the context it must have been quite early on in their career)

F: during the tour?

T: yeah, we were always giving each other something for our birthdays, every year, but as years passed it got more difficult to choose something good and we then just stopped.

F: how about you, K?

K: I got a Mickey Mouse, about this size (he showed us with his hand, about 1m tall).

F: 'how do you deal with feeling tired?'

K: I go for a massage.

F: only during the tour?

K: anytime.

F: when the most? When writing songs?

K (laughing): but we're always writing songs

T: for me it's sauna.

F: do you often go when just staying at home?

T: for example after the gym

Ta: 'what did you eat most often during the stay at home period?'

K: ...what did I eat, what about you, Tooru?

Ta: sausages.

The whole venue kinda rotfled 🤣🤣🤣

F: that's cute😆

Ta: it's something I can usually only eat at home.

K: ...something I was really into...(still thinking)....(thinking)

F: for me it was Jiro-ken ramen.

T: at home?! So you weren't really staying at home?

F: I gained some weight after the overseas tour. I started to diet then, and one day a week, a cheat day, I could eat whatever I wanted. My cheat choice was Jiro, either at the restaurants or to take away.

K: ...what was it for me...

F: maybe nabe you talked about before? (in Osaka)

K wasn't impressed 😆

T: canned mackerel for me.

F: for when you drink etc? No, just like that?

They all laughed here a bit.

Suddenly K jumped in with a new topic.

K: in Osaka you talked about the theme behind Kyo's outfit, you said it was pink but he pointed his green hair as the main point.

F: that was difficult.

K: tbh I also thought the main idea was pink (he also talked about Kyo's use of Kansai dialect)

T: 'what were you able to do after becoming an adult?'

F: there's a lot of food people start eating when they grow up.

T: food topic again? 😆

F: for example for me it was raisins.

T: as I get older I can drink more. When we just debuted I couldn't drink at all.

F: drinking wine?

T: おっさんだから・'cause I'm an old guy.

K started talking about the food he couldn't handle when he was small but the next question kinda made me forget it 😅

' 'wet cat food is actually quite good, have you ever tried?'

F: I have a cat and sometimes when I give my cat wet food some will get on my fingers. I'd just lick it. You know some of it, the mackerel or tuna, it looks so good.

T: please send me a video when you eat cat food next time.

😂

(but to be fair most of canned cat food in Japan is 100% fish🤷‍♀️)

K: 'when you can tour again what local specialities do you want to eat?'

F: motsunabe in Fukuoka

T: miso type?

F: of course (if not Shinya would kill him)

K: what did you eat in Sendai?

F: bento

K: in Nagoya?

F: nothing special

T: we had normal bento, but it was miso katsu (Nagoya's style cutlet)

F: but if it's not in a restaurant it's not the same. Anything you want to eat, T?

T: Beki soba from Niigata.

F: have you tried it before?

T: when we went there on a tour, I really like soba.

They talked but more about food, tare katsu, okonomiyaki from Hiro and Jiro again.

T: is Jiro really that good?

F: 😍

K: I've tried it before, but it's (just) okay.

F: it's all about how the noodles taste (type of flour etc)

(more food talk, choosing between salt and tare options)

K: 'what's your favorite onigiri (rice ball)?'

F: how about you, K?

K: I don't eat onigiri.

T: Me also, but if I have to choose it's sujiko/salted salmon roe.

K (about not eating onigiri much): right, you only eat soba.

T then told us the story how much he loved salmon roe even as a child. When he was quite small he went shopping to the local supermarket with his grandmother. When he saw salmon roe in the shop he just started eating it directly from the shelf/container. Of course when his grandmother and supermarket staff found out it got very noisy, but because he was so young it was forgiven.

(back to onigiri topic)

Ta: salmon for me.

F: oh that is nice, I love the most tamago-kake-gohan rice ball (TKG is a very simple, traditional Japanese breakfast dish - just rice with a raw egg eaten with soy sauce, sometimes other toppings), the Newdays chain is selling them

K: the chain operates only in this area, no?

F explained that there are Newdays in other places too, fe Sendai. He also really got into explaining all pros incl the tasty gooey filling inside of the rice ball.

K (imitating F) oh that's nice 😂

F: 'it got so cold recently, what's your favourite season?'

T: spring or fall, I don't hate winter but I definitely don't like summer.

K: fall. (he said as this year wasn't too cold he could go out a bit during breaks)

F: so 2~3 weeks ago was your fav time.

K: here in Tokyo at least.

F: 'as we're staying home much more now do you have a recommended tv series or a channel?' (not just a movie)

K: Cobra kai.

F: ah, you tweeted about it.

K: it will be on Netflix next month, the 3rd season.

K talked about The Karate Kid (Japanese title 'Best Kid').

F: I don't know it.

Ta: me too.

K (shocked): you're serious???

T: I know, of course.

F: 'Best Kid'? 'Best Fit?'

T: just stop it🙃

F: how about your recommendation, T?

T: The BOYS on Prime.

K: I haven't seen it, but it seems interesting.

T: it is! I also like BOSCH. I'm just watching like after work and so on.

After that K talked about how cinema with the capacity reduced by half was nice because you could put your bag on the seat next to you etc, but recently came back to the full house (Demon Slayer did that...)

F: 'how do you feel being in front of people first time in a while?'

T: I'm sorry it has to be done this way

F: don't say that😆

(missed K's reply)

T: it's tiring to be in front of people.

F: but we do it in an interesting way.

T: yeah.

T: 'what's your favourite game? Even including older ones like famicon?'

K: games?

T: Spelunker on Amicon😆

T/K in agreement: where you die so quickly

K: PS5 is so popular, I didn't win.

F: it seems Kyo won once but the information he submitted had a mistake.

K: I applied for Sony's lottery and Big Camera's.

F: you don't want PS5, T?

T: recently I don't play.

K: what about the... what was it Tsushima?

They all reacted with 'ah'

F: what kind of game is it?

K: don't ask me😅 but it looks interesting.

T: it seems to be very popular abroad.

F: 'what's your favourite way to eat ozoni?'

(A new year soup with rice cakes)

Ta: the soy sauce based soup, with grilled mochi.

F: but what ingredients do you add?

K: isn't that way too detailed??

Ta (tries): spring onion etc

K listed grilled mochi, spinach, carrot etc. Then he told us about his family tradition to properly make rice cakes for New year, pounding was so loud even if you wanted to watch tv, you couldn't. But then they had enough for a month.

T: soy sauce style.

F: with miso or?

T: I said soy sauce.

F: what ingredients?

T: rice cakes, spinach, and what is that... (he started to make circles with his hand) ...?

F: naruto?

T (yeah that/nods)

F: in my family we do soy sauce, rice cakes, carrot, fish cakes etc.

K (ignoring F comment that they should finish now, in a teasing way): what about osechi, which dishes do you like?

F: konbu maki or kurikinton.

K: how about you, T?

T: that egg dish that is kinda like this (he gestured the shape again)?

Ta: tatemaki?

F: datemaki!

T: I think it's datemaki.

K: I like that beef roll with carrot and green beans inside (its 牛肉の八幡巻き)

F (making very dreamy face): Aaaaaaah that😍 green beans are so good.

F: ok, thank you all.

K: what about Tooru (Ta)?

F: it's time, sorry.

Last comments.

Toshiya: thank you all for gathering here despite the COVID situation. It's difficult to do concerts now so we tried doing film screenings. In difficult times like this it's not only about the band members, there's our staff and also the venues. I'd love to play concerts again, please wait for us.

Kaoru: it is a difficult situation to share my personal opinion... if we can't do the concerts in a way everyone can enjoy... enjoy, it will affect our relationship of mutual trust. I think this (COVID) situation will continue for some time still, so I think it's better to go with the film screening events. But we will keep checking the situation. Please stay healthy and I hope all of you will come to watch it.

[buckysflannelpajamas]

Bleeding Hearts

Summary: Being Tony Starks daughter has its pros and cons. One of the pros being you get to live with your best friends, the Avengers. One of the cons you will soon find out is having to deal with the one and only, James Buchanan Barnes...

Takes place during the imaginary time after Civil War where everyone love in the tower and goes through to Endgame.

Trigger warning: Talks of depression/depressing thoughts

Chapter 5

2nd person POV

Fading. That's how you describe the feeling when you start to stoop into a depressive episode. You can feel your emotions fading to numbness, and eventually an all encompassing emotional down. Each avenger has their own way of trying to help you through it. Honestly you want to be left alone for the most part, alone to dwell in the sadness you think you deserve. It was harder when you first decided to move back into the tower after living on your own when you had been released from the hospital. In the beginning, you couldn't even get a moment alone. But eventually everyone got into a pattern of how they help you deal with your depression.

Wanda and Vision make you baked goods. Mainly strawberry cupcakes. Wanda comes to deliver them to your room every morning, and subtly implies she will be going shopping later and hinting at you coming. It worked a total of one time. But after having a mental breakdown in the Gucci dressing room you realized it probably wasn’t best for you to be in public when you feel this way.

Steve and your dad are always the most worried. They check on you multiple times a day. Steve also draws you caricatures of avengers and writes something funny underneath them. This is the closest Steve has ever gotten to understanding memes. Tony on the other hand tries to lure you out of your funk by bribing you with a trip to your favorite Korean food restaurant in South Korea via his private jet.

Pepper sends you flowers. The two of you aren’t close and aren't overly fond of eachother. You assume she mainly sends the flowers to please Tony.

Peter constantly sends you memes throughout the day, which you mostly ignore.

No one knows where Thor and Bruce are so it’s safe to say they don't know when you’re suffering, and no one wants to call Clint just to inform him you’re sad again.

Uncle Rhodey usually finds out because Tony needs to vent to someone about his worries. What he does for you by far one of the coolest things. He has a military buddy of his hack into the computers of major entertainment companies so you can see blockbuster movies before they are released.

Natasha, who is sort of a mother figure to you though the two of you would never admit it, comes to you late at night when your insomnia kicks in. Neither of you speak, she simply sits down on your bed beside you and braids your hair while the TV show ‘how it’s made’ plays softly in the background. The two activities always help you to sleep. And on the nights you can’t stop crying, she’ll lie there with you, rubbing your back like a mother calming her child until her tears stop.

Finally, Sam comes in the moment you need it most, right when you are so tired and drained that you’re ready to open up about how you're feeling.

It’s day 3 of your depression and you have just reached that point. Somehow, Sam always knows when you’re ready.

You’re sitting up in bed, bundled up in an exuberant amount of blankets and staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Your mind drifts through a series of depressing thoughts.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

Burden.

These are the words that are most consistently in your mind.

For a moment you consider no longer taking your meds. Sometimes it feels as though they don't work anyway.

That’s when you hear the knock outside your living room door.

“Friday, tell Sam he can come on in.” You mumble to the disembodied AI, your voice raw from all the crying you’ve been doing.

“Of course, miss.” Even Friday sounds saddened by your less than pleasant mental state.

You don’t bother to wipe your tears away, you would be crying soon again anyway.

You hear Sam make his way through your front door, passing through the living area and opening the door to your room.

You notice Sam holding a steaming plate of eggs, sausage, and hash browns in one hand. He must have found out from Friday that all you’ve really eaten this week is Wanda and Visions strawberry cupcakes.

“I would have brought some OJ too but then I wouldn’t have been able to open the door.” Sam jokes. He takes a quick glance around your room, trying to gauge how bad the episode is. Used tissues cover the floor by the right side of the bed. Worn pajamas are strewn around on the floor and the pile of clothes you leave on your chair hasn’t been cleaned up. You usually clean it once a week. Not to mention your greasy hair makes it obvious that you haven’t showered in a few days.

“Pretty bad, huh?” Sam asks.

“Yeah.” You answer honestly. You don’t need to bullshit with Sam.

He takes a seat by you on the bed, placing the food in front of you. “You hungry?”

“Yeah, but-“

“But you feel like you deserve the pain?”

“You know that.” You sigh.

“Tell me why.”

“You know why too.”

Sam pushes a fork in your hand. “I’m trusting you with this.” He jokes, earning an actual laugh from you before moving on. “I have a general idea, but I don’t like to make assumptions.”

You poke at the eggs with your fork. “I-“ it’s hard to speak. You know at any moment you’re going to break out sobbing. “I feel so weak.” You choke out. “I put the whole team at risk by being naive enough to think a guy wouldn’t try drugging my drink at a crowded party. Even if it is my house.”

Sam doesn't speak yet. He always waits for you to let it all out.

“How could I be so fucking stupid?!” You sob. “I was selfish. Why do you all even keep me around? I’m a liability and a burden to the team. I hate that about myself and I hate that I’m so weak! I hate that no matter how hard I train, I’ll never be strong like any of you! And I know that that’s also selfish because you all went through so much pain to be what you are, but I can’t help but feel insignificant. I’m just some dumb fucking artist that sits around all day doddling while you all are actually doing something meaningfull in the world!” There it is. The root of what triggered your episode. It’s not just about Authur. It's about the fact that you can’t protect yourself. It’s the constant feeling of insignificance that lingers in the back of your mind.

Sam puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it gently. “First of all, you’re not just some dumb fucking artist.” He quotes you. “You are a world renowned artist and you should be proud of it. More importantly, you are not insignificant or a burden. Ok? If we didn’t want you around, you wouldn’t be here. We all love you and want you to be here with us. You’re part of our family. You might not be on the front lines, but you do more for the world than you know.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah I doubt that.”

“I mean it.” Sam Insists. “You said so yourself that you know how much pain we’ve been through. How do you think the avengers would keep it together without their own little therapist.” He laughs lightly.

You furrow your brows. “Um, Sam, I’m not a therapist. I can barely keep myself together.”

“You might not be licensed but you are always there for us. Getting us to talk through our thoughts and feelings. Giving us advice and helping us come to a resolution.”

“That’s what friends are for.” You shrug.

“Yeah well friends don’t usually have to deal with their other friends' war trauma and helping them deal with finding out their best friend they thought was dead is actually alive and actively trying to kill them.”

You stay silent for a moment. “I guess that’s true.”

Sam pats you lightly on the back. “You keep the avengers sane so that we can help the world. Which is just as important.”

Finally, you take a bite of your eggs. “I disagree that it’s just important but I know that argument won’t go anywhere, so I’ll just accept it.”

“I know that this conversation won’t solve all of life's problems, but maybe it helped you feel good enough to to get up out of bed? Maybe get up and take a shower? No offense, but you don’t exactly smell like daisies.” He laughs.

You shove Sam in the arm. “Hey! You should take a whiff of yourself after you come back from a mission.”

“Touché.” Sam pauses, noticing something on your bedside table.

“Sour gummy worms? That’s not part of your usual routine…” Sam trails of, reaching over you to grab the box of candy before you have a chance to stop him.

“Wait-”

It's too late, he sees the note written in scribbly cursive on the piece of paper attached to the back of the box.

“Who’s this from?” He asks curiously, hoping from your bed and moving around as you chase him down, frantically trying to remove the letter from his grasp.

“Sam stop!”

“Dear y/n,” Sam starts to read aloud. “I don’t pity you. I relate to you. When I said I’m sorry I meant it.”

You jump, reaching for the letter but Sam moves it high above his head.

He continues to read. “I meant to tell you sorry before the party. I only blew up at the hospital because I was mad at myself for letting someone on the team get hurt. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. I know it’s a lousy excuse but I was just jealous of your happiness. If you give me the chance, I’d like to make it up to you. I heard you like Star Wars. I haven’t seen the movies… maybe we can watch them sometime? Sincerely, James Buchanan Barnes.”

Sam looks at you with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. “You two got a movie date?”

You finally snatch the candy and letter from his hand. “See this is why I didn’t want you to read it! I knew you would take it that way.” You pout.

“How else am I supposed to take it?” Sam laughs.

“Like a guy with a guilty conscience is trying to be nice to the sad girl.” You say as if it’s the most obvious thing ever.

“You can be so blind to some things.” He shakes his head.

You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”

Sam takes a seat back down at the end of your bed. “Everyone living in the tower can tell he has the hots for you.” He pauses in thought. “Expect for Tony. Barnes would be as good as dead if he knew.”

“You’ve been talking to Nat and Wanda, haven’t you?”

“And Steve and Vision.” He grins. “We have a whole group text dedicated to the conversation.”

“Great.” You groan, rubbing your temples as you take a seat by Sam on the bed.

“Look, you don’t have to believe me. But you should at least give him a chance to make it up to you. I’m not Barnes biggest fan, but he’s really not a bad guy.”

You open your mouth to protest, but Sam interrupts you.

“Just think about it, ok?” Sam gets up from your bed, making his way to the door. “And take a shower in the meantime! You stink little sister!”

You grab a pillow and throw it at him, the pillow only managing to hit the door as he closes it.

“And eat some food too!”

[headfulloffantasies]

Mandalorian Rest Stop

Ao3

Din interacts with the Jedi children at Luke’s Jedi Academy.

My Kofi

Din’s ship sat just beyond the lush green gardens of Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Academy. At the hottest part of the day, all the students were inside the domed building working on their mystic arts or whatever. Din bent under the wing of his ship, trying to get at the stubborn panel in need of realignment.

“Dank Farrec,” Din cursed the rivet that refused to budge.

“Dank Farrec,” a small squeaky voice answered. Din straightened up so fast he slammed his helmet on the panel above him. He spun around. A small sticky child stared back at him.

“Dank Farrec,” the child repeated. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Din said quickly. “It’s a bad word. Don’t say it.”

“Dank Farrec,” the child giggled.

“Where is your handler?” Din looked around. The Jedi Academy didn’t keep as close eye on its youngsters as Din’s Covert had, but he was pretty sure all the kids were supposed to be training. Hence why Din was fighting with rusty rivets on his ship instead of spending time with Grogu.

The child plopped down in the dirt and started playing with a leaf like they had no intention of moving any time soon.

Din crouched next to them. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere?”

The kid did not answer. They had dirt smeared over their rosy cheeks and something blue staining their hands. Din made no assumption about age, considering his own child had been alive longer than him. But if he had to guess, he supposed the little one was four or five.

“If I pick you up, will you scream?” Din asked.

The child responded by lifting their arms and making grabby hands.

Din scooped the child into his arms. They immediately stuck their dirty fingers to his chest plate, leaving blue smears behind. The child laughed at their own reflection in the armour.

Din heaved a sigh. “Okay, let’s give you back to the Jedi now.”

“I’m a Jedi,” the child informed Din.

“I’m a Mandalorian,” he answered.

The child nodded, completely sombre.

Din walked into the main learning building of the Jedi Academy. In the common room, Luke had a group of children practicing levitating blocks of wood.

“This one is yours,” Din dropped the child at Luke’s feet. They reached back for Din with sticky, grabby hands.

“There you are, Lana,” Luke smiled. “Did you have fun with the nice Mandalorian?”

Lana looked up into Luke’s face. “Dank Farrec!”

Luke’s expression turned brittle. Din buried his head in his hands.

“I didn’t do it,” Din said into the dark of his gloves. He lifted his head.

Luke bent to speak to Lana. “That’s not a nice phrase, honey. Let’s try something more polite, okay?”

Lana nodded, all sweetness and sugar again.

Din turned to leave. Something whizzed past his face and struck the back of his helmet. Din stumbled, caught off balance. He whipped around, hand on his blaster.

The wooden blocks the kids were lifting dropped, except for the one still circling Din’s head.

All of the kids laughed while a single boy’s eyes widened in fear. The block hit the ground. “I’m sorry,” he stammered. Din remembered his name was Holden.

Luke glanced between Din and Holden.

Din let out a shaky breath. “It’s alright. Don’t do it again.”

Holden nodded so hard Din thought he might hurt himself. Din waved good-bye to Luke and went back to fixing his ship.

Luke invited Din to join Grogu and the other students for an evening meal around a campfire on the lawn. Din declined, until Luke informed him Grogu was throwing a tantrum at not having his father’s attendance.

Din lifted his head to the stars and wondered what he’d done to deserve this. Actually, no, he deserved a lot worse for his actions. He could sit through a meal with some kids.

Din took it back after five minutes around the campfire. He’d rather face a mudhorn again than spend mealtimes around children. They shrieked and screamed every time the fire crackled. They held their cooking sticks over the fire and dropped more into the flames than they managed to eat. Lana somehow got condiments in her hair.

Din picked up Grogu. “Don’t be friends with her, okay? You already have too many bad habits.”

Grogu blinked at him and made bubbles. Prime example.

Din settled Grogu on his lap with a plate of some kind of sausage. He passed bite sized chunks of meat to his kid.

Luke came out of the dark and sat next to Din. “Not so bad, is it?”

Din made a non-committed grunt.

Holden, one of the older students, came bouncing over to Luke. “Will you tell us a campfire story?”

Luke laughed. “You’ve already heard all my stories.”

“Tell us about the Death Star,” a dark-haired kid named Ryan piped up. The other children shouted their dissent or agreement in equal measure.

“What about the Mandalorian?” A voice rose about the rest. “Tell us a story Mando!”

Din stiffened. The kids all quieted, settling to watch him with rapt hope. Even Luke turned to him with expectation.

Din shuffled Grogu in his lap. “I don’t know any campfire stories.”

“You must know some stories,” Luke suggested. “A Mandalorian story?”

“Only the story of the Mythosaur,” Din said. The kids waited in a hush. Din sighed. In a stilted tone he told them the myth of how the first Mandalorians tamed the great creatures and used them to defeat their enemies. He arrived at the end of the tale to complete silence. Din flushed under his helmet.

“I’m not much of a storyteller,” he admitted.

“Tell us another!” Ryan demanded. He waved a cup of blue bantha milk and spilled half of it on the ground. “Tell us a bounty hunting story.”

Din looked to Luke for permission. The Jedi smiled his encouragement.

Din racked his brains. “One time,” he started. “I hunted a man to the edges of the Great Green Swamp.” Din let the tale unfold off his tongue. He outlined the perilous trek through the treacherous marshes, the harrowing escapes from the various wild beasts, and the shootout once Din finally found his man.

He paused there. Din realised telling the children that he’d killed the man probably was not a good idea. The kids all stared at Din. They looked ready to leap out of their seats.

“What happened to him?” Lana’s huge eyes bored into Din’s visor.

Din closed his mouth and swallowed hard. “He lived a very happy life,” Din squeaked. “He did not fall into any swamp pits or drown at all.”

“Right,” Luke clapped his hands together. “Dessert and then bed.”

Din took Grogu back to the ship for the night. In the quiet of their berth, Din removed his helmet. “No more campfires, okay?”

Grogu only snuggled into Din’s neck and let out a snore. Din decided that was a yes.

Din woke to a scuffling noise. His eyes snapped open. Grogu sat up on Dins’ chest, making cooing noises at the door. Din turned his head. The sounds got closer. He reached for his helmet.

The door whooshed open. Din slammed the helmet over his face.

Three tiny faces screamed. Grogu screamed back.

Din jumped out of bed. The kids scrambled backwards. He recognised Holden, Ryan, and the newest student, Trystan.

“Sorry! We didn’t mean to-,” Holden started.

“Is this where Grogu sleeps?” Ryan demanded. Trystan cowered behind Holden’s back.

Din stared at the intruders. He was very aware he was wearing only his flight suit and all his armour and weapons sat stacked across the room. His feet were bare.

“What are you doing here?” He finally managed to ask.

Ryan screwed up his face. “Do you sleep wearing that?” He pointed at Din’s helmet.

“I asked you a question,” Din snapped.

Ryan had enough wherewithal to drop his gaze. He scuffed a boot on the floor. “We wanted to see Grogu.”

Grogu babbled from the bed at the sound of his name. Din put one hand on his tiny head without looking away from the boys.

“How did you get on the ship? I locked the doors.”

Holden and Ryan exchanged a look. “We used the Force.”

Din’s brain became a screen of static. He really hated the Force some days.

“Don’t ever do that again,” he said.

The boys nodded. “I’m sorry,” Holden said again.  

Din sighed. “Does Luke- Master Skywalker know you’re here?”

All three boys shook their heads and wouldn’t look at Din.

“Go tell him what you’ve been up to,” Din pointed towards the ship’s ramp. The boys scampered away.

Din closed the door behind them.

Grogu whined. Din looked down at him. “What are the chances there’s such a thing as Force proof locks?”

 Luke planned an expedition to the top of a mountain as a Jedi exercise. Din approved wholeheartedly that most of the kids had too much energy and needed to run it out. He wished Luke luck.

Luke pressed his lips together. “I was asking if you would come with us. I would appreciate having someone with survival skills around in case we run into trouble.”

Din sighed in the privacy of his helmet. “I am not carrying anyone up a mountain. Least of all you,” he said.

Luke grinned. “Did I ever tell you about my Master Yoda?”

They made it to the top of the mountain with only mild complaining from the Jedi students. For this exercise Luke decided only to bring his oldest students. Tami, Holden, and Jameson trekked after their Master with Din bringing up the rear.

Tami tended to bolt off the path after whatever caught her eye. Jameson was easy to keep track of because of his bright red hair. Holden stayed as far as he could get from Din for the entire trip.

When they reached the peak, Luke decided they all needed to meditate. Each kid went off a little way and chose a spot to sit quietly. Din did a quick perimeter check to stave off the boredom. He came back through the trees and noticed Jameson had chosen to sit at the very edge of the mountain’s sheer drop.

“We’re getting awfully close to the edge here,” Din said as he came up behind Jameson.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Jameson answered.

A rumbled echoed up from the ground. Jameson snapped wide eyes to Din.

The ground buckled under Din’s boots. Din had a split second to act. He snatched up the kid and tossed him hard. Jameson hit solid ground just as the edge of the cliff gave.

Din fell. He tumbled end over end.

He activated his grappling line. The grapple caught on the cliffside. The jolt at the end of the rope nearly pulled Din’s arm from its socket. Din swung hard back towards the rockface. Din slammed into the rock. Something in his shoulder popped. Din couldn’t bite back the shout of pain. Lightning raced from his shoulder to his fingertips. Din ground his teeth past the nauseating pain. He hung suspended by his ruined arm over the thirty-foot drop. Din forced himself to take several deep breaths.

Din reached for the cliffside with his good arm. Every little movement sent another shock of agony through his shoulder. Din managed to cling to the rockface. He scrambled and found a footing. The sheer relief of taking the pressure off his shoulder almost made Din sob.

He looked up. The crumbled edge of the cliff seemed miles away. How on earth he was going to climb up there with only one arm, Din didn’t know.

A sound caught in Din’s ears. He looked down. Luke scrambled at the bottom of the cliff. Din wondered how he got down there so fast without breaking his neck.

Luke waved his arms and shouted. Din couldn’t understand him.

Luke closed his eyes and lifted his hands. Something pulled at Din’s grip on the cliffside. Din panicked and clutched harder. The energy tugged at him gently.

“Don’t!” Din shouted.

Luke either didn’t hear him or ignored him. The Force pried Din from the cliffside. Din flailed in midair. He felt cradled in something firm as beskar, but so obviously insubstantial as a cloud. Din’s heart skipped at the sight of nothing but air between himself and the ground so far below. Slowly, Din descended down to Luke’s level. Luke released Din gently on his feet. Din swayed and almost collapsed.

Luke grabbed Din by his shoulders. Din groaned.

“You’re hurt,” Luke’s eyes widened. “I can help.”

“Don’t,” Din tried to push him away. “I can take care of it-.”

Luke unbuckled Din’s pauldron unfairly fast. Luke eased the shoulder armour off with surprising gentleness. He braced his hands over the dislocated joint.

Din reminded himself to breath.

Luke wrenched the shoulder back into the socket. Din swallowed his shout. The moment the pain passed, relief flooded Din’s veins. The awful strain in his muscles relaxed.

“Thank you,” Din said.

“You saved Jameson’s life,” Luke said quietly.

“You would have done the same,” Din answered.

Luke laughed. “I’d be a bloody streak on the cliffside if I’d tried that.” He surveyed Din with his earnest blue eyes. “The Force moves around you, Din Djarin.”

 Luke insisted Din join the students for dessert after dinner that night. Din arrived in the mess hall holding his injured arm in a sling. Grogu didn’t like it. Din’s heart twisted at the sight of his son trying to wiggle out of Luke’s grasp to heal Din.

Din reached over and pinched Grogu’s ear. “Eat your cake. I’m okay, ad’ika.”

“What does that mean?” Lana’s tiny face popped up next to Din’s knee. “Ad’ika. What does it mean?”

“It’s Mando’a for son or daughter,” Din explained.

Lana huffed in disappointment. Cleary she’d hoped for more swear words. She stomped away.

Luke’s eyes danced in the light from the lamps. “You’re very good with kids, Din.”

“Am not,” Din answered. He pointed to his son dribbling cake frosting on Luke’s cloak. “This one doesn’t listen to anything I say.”

Something crashed into Din’s back. Din twisted, wrenching his shoulder painfully. Stick thin arms wrapped around Din’s chest from behind. Jameson’s teary face came into focus leaning on Din’s armour.

“I’m so glad you’re not dead,” Jameson hiccupped. “When you went over the edge, I thought you died.”

Din carefully reached around to pat Jameson on his bright red hair. “I’m alright. So are you.”

Jameson nodded. He extricated himself from Din and wiped his running nose on his sleeve.

Din didn’t know what else to say. “Do you want some cake?”

He held out the slice Luke had politely put in front of him even knowing he wouldn’t eat it.

Jameson shook his head. He sniffed and then waved and rejoined the group of boys playing a game at the other table.

Din looked over at Luke to ask what on earth had just happened.

Luke gave him a smirk. “The kids like you.”

“I saved his life, he better like me,” Din grumbled half-hearted.

“You’ve become like a weird uncle to half these kids.”

Din blinked behind his visor. “I’m weird? They have magic mind powers!”

[annakie]

A Lot of Words about a Thing

This is a “I’m writing this out so next time someone asks I can just point them to this (or copy/paste) instead of having to type it again” thing.

I’ve been doing Hello Fresh for the last two or three months and I thought I’d talk about the ups and downs of it and if I’m going to keep doing it.  This is not an endorsement (which will be clear when you get to the overall middling scoring), but I will put a link at the bottom so we can both get a deal if you want to try it.

---------------

So anyway, I had been thinking about doing a meal kit for a long time but pulled the trigger on it back in... like Mid-January, I guess? 

the tl;dr of it all is that I like it and I’ll probably keep doing it for awhile, but it’s not for everyone, and is expensive for what it is, especially if you already know how to cook.

Before I started, I made myself sit down and write out a quick list of what I wanted to get out of trying a meal kit experience, so I’ll rate how successful or not each one of those things is.

First of all, I want to also say, I can already cook.  I’m a pretty good cook.  I can follow a recipe and improvise successfully when necessary usually.  One reason why a lot of people do a meal kit is because they need to learn how to cook and that definitely wasn’t me.

Also, they offer a variety of number and portions on meals to try.  I get three meals a week, with two portions a meal, which means I cook Hello Fresh for dinner one night, and usually the next night have the leftovers.  Friday night is usually “Yay You Made It To The Weekend, You Get To Order Takeout” night.  You can order for several more meals a week, and for up to four portions in each meal, if you want.

So on to the reasons why I decided to try HF, with a grading of how I feel about each one after trying.

Reason One: Try Something New

I was super excited at the beginning of the pandemic now working from home full time, because this was a great chance to really start trying some new recipes.  I had fallen into a pretty bad rut for awhile of some of the same frozen type meals or just making super easy things for dinner and sandwiches for lunch pre-pandemic.  Even though my commute was stupid easy I often felt too wiped at the end of the day to make like, real meals.  So when the pandemic hit and I was Home All The Time, for the first couple of months I was buying interesting ingredients (what I could get my hands on at the time) and really digging into making new and interesting things.  Even baking my own bread and bought some new kitchen gadgets like a pressure cooker to expand my repertoire. 

By like... the end of summer... well the good news was that I was still cooking and hadn’t fallen back to a packaged-food routine most of the time (though still some frozen pizzas or bags of pre-made Asian or Italian food you cook on the stovetop mostly for lunch) but also I had more or less found The Ten Things I Make (like Spaghetti, a great chicken and rice dish that is so good and makes about 6 meals worth of leftovers) and I was real tired of like, recipe hunting.  The most work I was then doing was finding new pressure cooker recipes and tbh almost all of what I was making was Chicken In Some Kind of Sauce Over Rice.  I was burned out.

So Hello Fresh... has been great for that.  I have only made the same thing a couple of times and those were only because i loved them so much the first time I wanted that thing again.  For the most part, I have tried just a ton of new things, including some ingredients I’ve never worked with before or really thought I wouldn’t like!  And I did!  I feel like I am often trying something I have never made before.

Reason 1.5: Variety

OK this is hand-in-hand with Something New but also slightly different.

Try Something New would be rated like a 4.5 out of 5 stars.... but some stars are taken away though, because a lot of their recipes are very similar.  For a protein, there’s like, chicken breasts, hamburger meat, pork chops, chicken sausage and pork sausage.  Occasionally steak.  Basically every meal will start with one of those things.... oh and I guess there’s like some fish choices, but I hate fish.  There’s also vegetarian options, which I have only occasionally gotten.  So within the variety, there’s a lot of similarities.

Also there are a lot of same ingredients in their recipes.  I have grated a lot of lemons and limes.  I have chopped up a lot of carrots, green onions, and potatoes (so many potatoes.)  I have consumed more sour cream than I ever have.  I have started looking for ways to add even a little more variety to the things that are often-repeats that they give you.  

But part of that is my fault -- I am mostly selecting items that I know I will like, or can modify to how I like.  There are a lot of veggie and fish-based choices I could pick up most weeks which I avoid. 

And almost everything I’ve ever made... I’d make again.  I save all the recipe cards so that someday when I don’t wanna do HF anymore, I will have all them all handy to make later.  The HF Subreddit also has a lot of resources like how to do their custom spice mixes, very handy.   There’s been maybe 3 things I’ve made which I’d say were Just Okay, but nothing I’d say that was bad.   And some of the ideas in this paragraph I talk about more, further down.

But also on the topic of “Variety” -- since every meal I make has two portions (occasionally I will stretch something to three) -- points are given back because I’m not “Making a huge pot of spaghetti that I eat for five meals in a row.”  So that’s good, even if it means more cooking overall.

So honestly, on Something New overall, I’ll give this like a 3.5 out of 5 stars, correcting up to 4 stars on a curve, since I strike entire categories of their offerings based on my own tastes.  They offer a pretty good variety of meals to select, and part of the problem here is my fault for hating All Seafood and not being thrilled with the vegetarian options (I also don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth without a protein) so there are a lot of meals re-using similar ingredients.   It slides back down to a 3.5 though when you factor in Reasons 3 & 4 below.

Reason Two: Kill Analysis Paralysis

A thing I found increasingly happening by the end of last year was analysis paralysis.  Especially as I started a new job where I’m much, much busier (but happier) in October.  I would find myself staring at the fact that I’d have to make the decision on What To Make For Dinner and dreading it more and more.  It wasn’t really the cooking I hated, but the deciding what to cook, which got me into the lack of variety rut.  More often than I’d like to admit I’d just make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese or like... just... toast... for dinner because the decision-making part of my brain was tired... or out of spoons as the kids say these days.

This is maybe my favorite part of Hello Fresh overall.  Once every week or two I log onto HF, pick what I’m going to eat like... 5 or 6 weeks in the future, which I can do at a time when I have that decision-making energy, and forget about it.  Every Monday a box shows up on my doorstep, I see what nice things I picked out for myself several weeks ago, and the most I have to decide is which order I will make those things in.

So when it’s a “Make Dinner” day, I don’t have that “shit, I have to make a decision” feeling.  I already know because I pre-planned it back when I wasn’t at the end of a long workday.  It’s one of those small, dumb things that really really helps me mentally in an almost inexplicable way.  And I can feel better about myself because I didn’t eat something dumb for dinner.  And I still allow myself to make easy things for lunch, like a small frozen pizza, a sandwich and some chips, or hey, Kraft Dinner.  And sometimes I do make a big pot of Spaghetti or something that I love and will just have that for lunch every day for a week, and so I don’t have to feel like I’m always cooking.

And on Eat HF Leftovers For Dinner nights, that’s even better, because I have a tasty meal and it just had to get reheated in the microwave or stovetop.  Some meals are easy to half-prepare ahead of time on day one, and just do the last steps on leftover night the next night to have fresher dinner easily.

 Just 5 out of 5 stars here.  This is my favorite part.

Reason Three: Eat More Vegetables.

Uh, yeah, I’m terrible about eating veggies on my own.  The best I can do usually is buy a bag of mixed greens and try to have a side salad with dinner, or buy bags of frozen foods and hope they come with veggies I’d eat. 

So the good thing here, is that when HF sends me vegetables to make, if it’s a veggie I like, I’ll probably make it.

The big problem, though, is that there’s no substitutions.  And I’m still not gonna eat brussell sprouts or, broccoli, or mushrooms. I was a sport and tried making them (except the mushrooms) the first time I got recipes that used them as sides.  And nope... still cant.

But hey, I have done a lot better at eating more fresh green beans, and onions, and carrots, and peppers.  Though sometimes I just snack on the bell pepper instead of cooking it. Still, I call it a win.

I really, really wish I could trade out the side-dish vegetables I know I won’t eat for like, a small side salad, an apple, or hey, even just... carrots!  But nope, no substitutions. =\  I’d score this way better if we could do so.

Still, I’m doing better here, and overall, more vegetables are being eaten.  So, 3 out of 5 stars.

Reason Four: Waste Less Food

The amount of fruit and vegetables I’ve ordered and thrown away over the last year make me cringe.  I would order things with every intention of eating them and then just... not.  Oh yeah I need two lemons, an orange and two limes in case I make ____ recipe!  I need a new bag of baby carrots to snack on and make a side dish and cut into a salad! 

And then I maybe... maybe use half of that before it goes bad.

Probably less.  Because of the Analysis Paralysis and not trying new things.  You run into that problem where you don’t have the ingredients on hand to make a new thing so you can’t make a new thing... but then you buy them but forgot (crucial thing) so the thing still doesn’t get made.  Or you just... don’t plan when you’re gonna make the thing and by the time I’d be like “Oh yeah I should make something with those vegetables” they’d have already turned.

SO... I felt shitty throwing away so much produce, and loaves of bread, and other perishable food that got maybe half-eaten.  So much, for so long.  Yeah, I know I could do better with my meal planning, but it’s been one of those things I always vow to do, and then did not do that thing.

Doing HF has really made me re-evaluate what I buy as groceries, and I have cut way down on ordering unnecessary produce and perishables like bread.  Because I don’t really have to worry about dinner and am allowing myself to do easy lunches that don’t require real “cooking.”  So, overall I am definitely buying and tossing less food.

Also just as another quick note -- what also tends to get tossed out of my HF boxes is a “spicy ingredient”  But in some ways, this works in HF’s favor.  I don’t really like spicy foods.  A small amount of spice is OK but I’d rather just do without it in most things, sorry I’m that white girl.  Most “Spicy” HF meals get spicy by a spice blend, a packet of sriracha / hot sauce, or a jalapeno which they want you to cut up and include.  So whenever I see something that looks good but listed as “spicy”, I can check the ingredient list first and see what makes it spicy, If I think the thing still sounds good without the spicy part, I can order it.  So yeah, I’ll toss spicy ingredients, but that is 100% my choice and it makes things better because it gives me more variety to order those meals and still make it to my own taste.

Oh, and occasionally, the produce is just bad when you get it or not long after.  I haven’t had this problem often, mostly with ginger and garlic.  I do evaluate which meal has the most perishables when I get my box on Mondays and make those first.  Apparently you can call customer service if this happens for a small credit, but I just use pre-diced garlic or powdered ginger when this has happened to me.

So, this would be a 4.5 out of 5 except for... as discussed above... I end up tossing out HF vegetables on occasion I know I hate and won’t eat, and they won’t let me make substitutions. 

But also... cooking for myself... when I make a big batch of something that lasts 4 - 6 portions... more often than I’d like to admit, the last portion or two would never get eaten.  Sometimes I’d TELL myself I’d eat them in a week or so and freeze them only to throw it all away months later.

So let’s call this a 4 out of 5.  Overall, significantly less food waste with HF.

Reason Five: Save Time

I thought that doing HF would mean less prep-work and less time in the kitchen, especially with their easy-to-follow recipes and pre-measured ingredients.

So in that way, yes, time is saved, and it so again takes that mental load off in a lot of ways of not having to make all those pesky decisions.  The materials you’re working with and what you need to do are all Right There for you.  It’s really, nice.

As a side note, like I said I’m a good cook, and I haven’t had any problems following along anything I’ve made, but there were a few things I think are more of a moderate skill level and could be a little challenging for newcomers.  But then, I see people on the HF subreddit all the time saying they learned to cook with no skill and they find the recipes easy so... we’re good there.

However, Saving Time loses points for two big reasons:

First, I’m only making two portions of each meal.  Which, ok... this is my decision.  I could order four portions per meal.  But then... hey that’s taking big points away on the “variety” front. 

The Vegetable Chopping / prep work on a lot of the recipes often takes 10 - 20 minutes, depending on the number of fruits and veggies.  So yay for meeting Goal #3 (more veggies) even if it is balanced out by Goal #5.

And unfortunately, most meals end up taking up more dishes than I’d like to clean up (usually at least a pan and baking sheet, sometimes also a pot.  Plus knife, cutting board, tongs, stirring spoon, maybe a zester, etc.)  So no time is saved on cleanup, either.

Mostly where time is saved is having to pick out recipes and making sure you have/buy all the ingredients.  Not much is saved in the actual cooking.

I do, however, enjoy the time I spent cooking and the knowledge that I’m gonna make something good, so we’ll give it a bit back, there.

As a time saver, I’d give HF a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Reason Six: Save Money

Y’all, Hello Fresh is expensive.  Honestly the #1 reason I re-evaluate whether I want to keep going with it every few weeks is the cost.  Even though I can afford it.

For basically six meals a week, I’m paying $63 for the food, plus $9 for the shipping.

Which means I’m paying $12 a meal.  For food I make myself.

Not cheap.  A luxury.

Where I don’t feel quite so bad about it is the fact that... for the most part, I am wasting a lot less food.  Except, as mentioned, when I can’t swap out vegetables I hate for something I’d actually eat.

So that makes it irk me even more when I am throwing out vegetables I really hate, because they’re expensive vegetables.

Also that price tag is motivation to make and eat every meal.

Overall, my grocery bills have gone down... honestly pretty significantly.  Because I’m not overbuying food!  Now, they haven’t gone down enough to even out the cost for Hello Fresh... I’m still probably spending about 50% more overall for each dinner now than I was before.

This isn’t a cost savings.  It’s an expense, but one I can afford.  And part of writing out this post is to remind myself to decide when the experience is no longer worth the expense.

1 out of 5 stars.

Reason Seven: Eat Better

I would like to challenge myself to define “Better” because that’s all I wrote down when I made the list.

Healthier?  Eeeehhhhhh.... maybe?  But not much.

Hello Fresh does offer lighter choices, and sometimes I pick those because they look good and are filled with things I will eat!

But I’m just as likely to pick the most calor-ific things on the menu.

HF also adds a lot of Sour Cream to their recipes, and encourage you to salt and butter your food liberally.  I try to cut down on some of this where I think it’s too much.  But sometimes there’s not much to cut out and still have the meal you ordered.

But also I’m not eating any worse calorie-wise than I was before, probably.  And overall I’m eating a lot more “real food” instead of “packaged food” and fast food than I was.... especially pre-pandemic.  And again, I AM eating a lot more vegetables, so.... that’s... better?

If I define better as Tastier, yeah, I’m doing pretty good in that regard, haha. 

So Better as in healthier: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Better as in tastier: 4 out of 5 stars.

Overall Scoring & Tips

Okay, overall that comes out to a 3.18 out of 5, which I’d round up to a 3.5... which is a pretty good score for how I feel about HF overall.  My current plan is to keep doing it until I go back to working in the office again, and re-evaluate.  For now, it works for me.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT, this is my referral link, you’ll get $70 off over a month’s worth of meals (so like, $20 or something off 3 boxes and $10 off the last one, something like that. 

I also have four “Free box” codes to give out, PM me if you want one of those.  I don’t think those are compatible with the $70 off link, but it might be a box of completely free food for you?  I don’t know how it works, but this may be the better deal?  PM me.

If you decide to go for it, here’s a few tips:

Every week or two, go in and choose your meals, don’t let HF choose for you unless you really don’t care.

Read the ingredient list and make sure there’s not too much stuff you don’t like coming in a meal.

The extras are pretty expensive and not really worth it.

Plan on each meal taking about 45 minutes to cook from start to finish including chopping vegetables.  Another 10 - 20 with cleanup depending if you have to handwash dishes or not.

Look for ways to make the meal healthier, especially if it encourages you to add more butter and salt near the end.  You probably do NOT need to do so.

Buy a decent pepper.  I love McCormick’s Peppercorn Medley pepper grinder.  Also sea salt grinder is my personal salt preference.

Add some of your own seasonings.  I buy a jar of pre-diced garlic (yes yes I know the criticisms of the stuff but it’s easy) and throw in a half tablespoon or so of that into a lot of recipes.  Also there are a lot of potatoes that they want you to just cook with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Throw some garlic or onion salt on them, or some Lawry’s Seasoning Salt or steak salt of your choice for some variety.

Your basic 2 quart pot, 8 - 12″ frying pan and cookie sheet, plus a cutting board, decent veggie knife, and typical kitchen utensil set are all you need.  However, a decent meat thermometer and a zester that collects the zest as you go are both highly recommended. 

A sieve and very small rice cooker have also been a lifesaver for making good rice that doesn’t get overcooked.

[lovelyirony]

80. "Lets runaway together" natsharon

Natasha’s life has been made of running. She has always run in her life, either away or towards. 

So it doesn’t surprise her that once SHIELD tells her that they’ll stop monitoring her apartment to make sure she’s not going to leave in the dead of night, she starts a morning run routine. 

She gets up at four, puts on her shoes, and starts to run. The only thing she’s thinking about is the scene ahead of her and where her feet are being placed on the ground. 

Natasha runs for a long time. Her stamina isn’t regular, and so she runs until it’s about five-twenty, when she decides she has to make breakfast for herself before going into work at seven. 

Breakfast is scrambled eggs, a bowl of fruit, one cup of tea, and water. The occasional sausage or bacon is prepared, but usually only if Clint decided he was too tired and slept over. 

Being an agent of SHIELD isn’t nearly as exciting for her as everyone seems to think it is. 

Most of the time, she’s not going to any cool country or saving someone’s life. It doesn’t happen nearly as often as many people think. Or it does, but SHIELD isn’t really called in until it’s a “last resort” decision. So she has a lot of downtime.

In using this downtime, Natasha has decided to look at what other agents are doing. 

Most of it is boring. She finds out the occasional gossip from some of the them on the breakroom floor. 

No one is nearly as afraid of her as they should be, although Natasha thinks that is because she makes oatmeal in the kitchen and Clint also keeps making her laugh. 

(They keep thinking she doesn’t have a sense of humor, which is…odd.) 

One person in particular is the subject of most of her observations, mainly because she was interesting and up and alert at seven a.m., which not even Coulson could boast. 

Agent Thirteen. 

She wasn’t known as anything else. Most people just nodded in her direction, or called her Thirteen. 

Fury has called her a “pest” but Nat thinks that he means it affectionately, because she doesn’t get in trouble for interrupting his lunchtime with her own lunchtime. She actually dragged him out of his office to eat on a bench with her. 

They talk about ordering different printers for some of the agents, she’s been noticing that a few of the buttons are getting sticky and someone accidentally ordered two-thousand copies of some sort of picture rather than the two hundred that they needed. 

She talks about how she found a great burrito truck off of some street near his house (Nat writes this down, because Fury never tells anyone any clues about his residency) and about her new towels. 

It’s mundane. Fury doesn’t usually do mundane. He once threatened a new agent with coffee-run duty when he barely mentioned a new sponge he got for the kitchen. 

With Agent Thirteen, he asks about thread count. 

Natasha notices more and more. 

She also hears about Thirteen’s missions. Apparently, most of her missions go picture-perfect, or about as picture-perfect as missions can get when it’s SHIELD and you have to be an heiress for some obscure east coast family. 

Thirteen has noticeable flaws. She is far from a perfect agent, or at least she is in Nat’s mind. 

But the Red Room does stuff like that. Natasha almost scoffs when Thirteen reveals that her favorite color is orange, because no one ever mentions orange as their favorite color, so it makes her stand out. 

The little things build up until people know exactly who you are. A lot of people don’t realize that, because they think as long as you don’t know their name, then you are fine. 

Natasha cannot count on two hands the number of men she has killed who have never once gotten a credit card, only use computers that run about twenty minutes slower because they’re for public use, and could probably wear tinfoil hats if they really did believe that their brain waves were being read. 

People have habits, and habits reveal far too much about your person. 

- 

Clint says she’s “interested” in Thirteen. 

“Am I?” Natasha asks, curled up on his window seat with coffee. She’s looking out at the rainy night, taking note of all the people who are still out and about. 

“Yes,” Clint says. “You haven’t paid as much attention to anyone else.” 

“Have you considered that she’s the most secretive? After all, everyone else tells everyone else their last name,” she says. 

“What you think is their last name.” 

“I’ll find it out eventually, sooner or later.” 

“That’s not it,” Clint says, sing-song tone raising around the entire apartment. “Besides, you haven’t even done your weird follow technique on Thirteen yet. Why not?” 

“She’s better at detection than you are,” Natasha lies, because Clint is actually one of the best, if not the best. 

“Bullshit,” Clint says. “You want to be her friend or girlfriend or something.” 

“Girlfriend is an awfully strong word,” Natasha says, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, feelings can be pretty damn strong,” Clint answers. “You want more coffee, or am I okay to wash out the pot?” 

“One more cup.” 

- 

Sharon knows that Natasha Romanoff has been watching her. She’s compiled a list of reasons, which Maria and Phil have vetted and said that the reasons were (mostly) ridiculous: 

1.) Natasha is going to try and overpower her and become the supreme agent of SHIELD, crippling the bosses and forcing a takeover. 

2.) She wants skincare tips, despite the fact that her skin is perfect and flawless. 

3.) ??? 

Sharon doesn’t have any more ideas other than that. 

Maria tells her that she is the “most stupid person on the planet, short of maybe Bill from Fourth Floor.” 

(Bill from Fourth Floor only has a job because of an isolated incident in 1985 that could have resulted in a lawsuit. If he gets fired or let go for any reason, then he takes the best goddamn coffeemaker they’ve ever had, because technically it’s not SHIELD property. They’re not risking the lawsuit.) 

((It should also be mentioned that Bill from Fourth Floor adamantly refuses to learn how to use a computer and thinks that Microsoft Word is the “Devil’s way of telling us that something sinister is going on upstairs” which is a very horrifying answer, yet an intriguing one.)) 

Sharon doesn’t know why she’s stupid, but it’s not like she can ask Fury, who avoids personal conversation as if it is his worst enemy, and it probably is. He’s been known to tell people that they’re getting “too close” when they ask how his day is going.

-

So she starts subtly watching Natasha back. Two can play at the game, after all.

Natasha is a hard one to watch, especially since she’s trying to watch Sharon. 

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Coulson asks once, while she’s in his office stealing pens. “She won’t bite your head off.” 

“Of course she won’t, I’m not a prospective mate!” Sharon says cheerily. “But, I might talk to her. I want to figure out why she’s following me first, though.” 

Coulson gives her a look that she thinks is meant to be well-meaning, but mostly tells her that he thinks that she is being ridiculous. 

“You can find things out by talking. You can do that, Sharon.” 

“Sh,” she says, not at all serious, really. Coulson seems to know when is the time for her name and which is not. “You can tell me you’re right later.” 

-

They watch each other for three weeks. In these three weeks, they actually get the wrong sort of idea about each other. Natasha keeps trying to walk past her apartment building to see when she gets home, and Sharon is very confused as to why Clint leaves his windows open even when it’s October and freezing as shit. 

They miss each other, is what happens. 

This all culminates into a chance encounter at a coffee shop, and Sharon zeroes in on Nat. 

“You keep strange hours, Romanov.” 

“Could say the same of you, Thirteen.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You weren’t home until four in the morning last night,” she says. “You call that regular?” 

“Oh, like you were home at two in the morning?” Thirteen asks. 

“Wait. Are you…?” 

“Well I know that you are,” Thirteen says. “By the way, tell Clint to stop leaving the orange juice out.” 

“I will be doing no such thing.” 

“Could be beneficial.” 

“He cannot be babied. He will learn from his mistake.” 

“Nat…he’s twenty-seven.” 

“So? You can still learn.” 

“You shouldn’t have to.” 

Natasha laughs at that, and steps up to order her coffee. She also says to add “whatever this girl is having.” 

“Name for that?” the barista asks, and Thirteen says “Sharon.” 

“That your real name?” 

She blanches, and Nat knows she’s caught her.

She cracks up laughing as they get their coffee and take it outside, and she doesn’t stop laughing until Sharon wacks her on the shoulder. 

“I was under pressure to answer!” 

“Under pressure? From a barista?” 

“You wouldn’t get it,” Sharon says, huffing. 

Natasha laughs again, and smiles as she swipes both of their coffees from the counter. 

“Now, let’s run away together before the baristas discover more about your past, Sharon,” Natasha teases. 

Sharon flips her off. 

“Oh, fuck you. I’ll have you know I have it on good authority that you hold open doors for old ladies.” 

“I’m an assassin, I’m not heartless.” 

“I hate you.” 

“No you don’t,” Natasha says. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be following me.” 

“You don’t have to like someone to follow them.” 

“For a week,” Natasha says, taking a sip. “For a month? Sharon, you have to like something about me.” 

“And what, you don’t?” Sharon asks, face amused. “You followed me for longer, Nat.” 

“You’re calling me Nat?” 

“Natasha is a mouthful.” 

“Fine. I guess I like…your coffee creamers. Where do you get them?” 

“The grocery store, like a normal person,” she says. “We can go later, if you want.” 

“A grocery store date?” 

Sharon grins. 

“Sure. A date at the grocery store. Let’s run away to aisle ten after they find us kissing on aisle four.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Natasha says, smiling. “Tomorrow night work? Six?” 

“Seven?” 

“Works for me. Do you want to go to a restaurant for dinner or cook it?” 

“Hm…what would we make if we cook?” 

“Pizza rolls.” 

“Sold!”