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mx-paint · 8 months

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Some of you really go read a book that is about the authors experience with racism and trauma and...are surprised...when the book...is about racism and trauma???

#'she was always mentioning how people were racist towards her'#yeah cause people were being racist towards her????#yall are so annoying #'i walked into bensons steakhouse and was immediately appalled at the fact they served steak 😱'#thats how you sound like seriously #like its about experiences of racism and trauma and generational trauma #and to top it all off the reason the school she went to accepted her and her friend on the fact they didnt Have any people of color #And the secret society that she is a part of try to kick her out because shes black and a girl #like. wtf #these types of reviews are the stupidest ones ive ever seen #'they showed no signs of being gay' harold theyve been flirting since the first interaction #just bc they werent wearing rainbow pins and praising judy garland doesnt mean theyre not gay #'they mentioned her hair and she cried racism' they were touching her wo consent and were saying how she looks exotic #besides the scene where they Only mention her hair they make a comment on the texture as well #and she only thanks them and moves on #im glad the other commenters had some sense and commented on it bc like. what

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good-beanswrites · 5 months

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If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?

Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references.

(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)

Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.

Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.

“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.

“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane.

The girl just shook her head.

She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”

“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.”

“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...”

With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her.

“I can’t let you do that.”

Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.”

Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”

“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”

Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”

“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”

“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“You just pity me because I’m young.”

“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”

The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.

“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”

A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.

“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”

“Of course.”

#milgram #amane momose #mahiru shiina #thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got #the gears turning!!#i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :(#if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death #and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients #so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived #which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care #even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment #but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of #divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that #so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently #but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!!#everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :(#still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated #so. yeah.#i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this #tw cults #tw child abuse #drabbles

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recurring-polynya · 2 months

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I am never not thinking about Renji giving people rides on Hihiou Zabimaru, but somehow I forgot about the time Rukia used a Hakuren to launch Kon into the air during the kemari episode.

Reader, she was not sorry.

Unfortunately he started to go out of bounds, so Tessai felt it necessary to shoot him down with a Bakudou #99, p2.

I cannot emphasize enough that this was for a game of kemari to resolve some vague beef Rurichiyo and Kenryuu were having, there were literally no stakes whatsoever to everyone else, who just showed up and chose violence.

#rukia kuchiki #kon #bleach filler #all of the best bleach filler episodes are just ichigo trying to have a normal one while his friends have no chill whatsoever #kon only wanted to be on kenryuu's team so he could play with rukia this is so sad alexa play despacito #i almost posted this as a video #because they are playing 'senna' during this entire bit which is one of the best and most intense pieces of bleach fight ost #also there's a bit where orihime shields ichigo and he yells “THANK YOU INOUE” in exactly the way he yelled “THANK YOU CHAD” that time #but that was getting out of the scope of this post #it was so cute tho #renji and/or hitsugaya should have been in this episode i will never shut up about it #IKKAKU showed up a some point there is no reason we couldn't have had one if not both of our best soccer bros #i tell you rukia is constantly trying to steal renji's moves this is just like the time she blew herself up in the zan rebellion arc #i am sure he approves and supports her in this #it looks cooler when she does them anyway #maybe renji's entire bit is just test-ballooning Stunts for rukia so she doesn't have to embarrass herself on the ones that turn out lame #get you a man etc etc

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tsuchinokoroyale · 2 months

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More like rad-b-gone lol

#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol #thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless #except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move…#oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it #him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮‍💨#I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴#radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one #which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes #and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once #like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where #(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death #had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build #and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably #can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears #I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it #Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss #I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8 #so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳#tsuchi plays games

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im-smart-i-swear · 4 days

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What's Tashi's relationship with Webby and Taka like? Cause while I can imagine him being just as protective and smothering, as he's with Stick (maybe a bit less) I can't imagine Webby just letting him do it without having a thousand and one complaints, like I feel like she'll be much more assertive and confrontential than Stick is

thats a great question!!

first of all i think tashis relationship with stick specifically is a bit diffrent - idrk how to phrase it but basically tashi was his role model for a while and he had a lot of respect for him growing up. so theres this weird air of... expectation, almost? the two of them were really close when stick was younger and that coupled with how tashi still percieves him as a helpless confused kid makes their relationship a lot weirder...

with ryou (taka) hes obviously very protective and smothering, bc thats A BABY!!!!! ryou takes it well for the most part i think, at least before becoming a teen - hes the youngest, he likes attention and being papmered (most of the time)<3 also, by the time ryou is around 13-14 tashi is already starting to get a bit better after the whole stick fiasco, so its also that his older siblings sorta made his life easier? bc now tashi knows what he did wrong and is trying to not make the same mistakes again(not to say he doesnt fuck up at all tho!! he does! a lot!!! but at least its not nearly as catastrophic as w stick lol, and hes just one of MANY adults in ryous life, so it evens out more).

also, bc of how young ryou was, he didn't really fully comprehend just how bad tashi was getting at the time, and that helped him a bit? when we're young we dont really see our caretakers as people who are flawed and make mistakes. that comes w age. and i think it was very confusing for ryou to realise that the man who raised him since he was five is NOT some sort of a wise higher being but instead just. a messy guy. who is a bit cringe. so i think ryou lets him pamper him a bit (it helps that he is not that good w people and would rather stick to ppl he already knows), bc he knows neither webby or stickbug will let tashi do that. its annoying sometimes, but ryou is way better at establishing boundaries than stick was, so they get through it somehow.

webby has always been pretty independent (or at least tried very hard to appear as such) and she does NOT handle tashi being overbearing well AT ALL. out of the kids she has always had the least respect for tashi and the other adults in her life, so her relationship w tashi was a bit more levelled? equal? ever since the beginning she was pretty good at being assertive (and was a huge help to stick when he was figuring out the whole 'setting boundaries' thing), and that helped her wriggle out of tashis hold, at least partially. she was also whole-heatedly on sticks side when he was getting sick of tashis shit and she WILL yell at him whenever does or says anything stupid.

she still loves him tho. they all do, in diffrent ways, and they want him to be happy, despite his parenting being less than stellar a lot of the time. i think the thing that allows their relationships w him (and bud and soup too) to heal and strenghten in the end was them just simply GROWING UP. when the power dynamic of tashi as a caretaker was gone, they could finally start seeing each other as people! yay!!

sorry if this answer is more messy than usual lol!!

#ask #my funky guys #thank you for asking<33333 ryou and webbys relationships w tashi are still pretty weird and complicated but def not as much as his w stick #thats like a whole another level.........#also i think webby took stick and eenek moving out pretty hard. suddenly she was the oldest. she didnt like that one bit but she #never held it against them that they left. she just envied them a little. but she had to stay #SOMEONE had to keep this family together (<-she was like. 17-18. girl i dont think thats a healthy mindset when youre barely an adult yours #yourself)#she stayed bc if she didnt then ryou would be alone w the others and she didnt want him to be alone:( i mean he wouldnt be but yknow. hed b #the only kid left there #and he was already pretty lonely. so she stayed #god i hope this relpy makes sense. im a bit tired rn lol

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babybucks · 1 month

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okay what if eddie and marisol broke up with marisol screaming, “you’re fucking gay and in love with a man who won’t ever love you back the way you want him to” and this whole tommy thing is just eddie processing it by trying to prove that buck isn’t the actual love and light of his life, his co-parent, his person, his partner, the most important person in his life after his son

#unfortunately the only frame of reference i have of marisol is her giggling #ok but what if right #bc it seems like such an unusual move for eddie who’s so aware of buck’s issues and who’s always been so careful around them #to suddenly seem like he’s pushing on every abandonment issue buck has #maybe it’s him being petty for ‘she sees me’#or maybe it’s just a side effect of him overcorrecting #aka trying very hard to prove that there isn’t one (1) man he loves TO HIS CORE #im so excited for this episode but i know i will be sobbing my eyes out #i am insecure and jealous ! thanks for the representation evan buckley #911 #buddie #911 s7 #911 spoilers #jealous buck

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dutybcrne · 3 months

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The only person who has actually seen Kaeya's right eye after the immediate treatment post-Confrontation is Adelinde. He adamantly refuses to let anyone else see under it, especially those like Jean or Diluc who knew him best. The thought absolutely makes his gut churn. He would do anything to make sure no one catches sight of his eye if he can help it. Anything.

#hc; kaeya #//Adelinde is the only one; because he's the only one he can truly never say no too #//If she wants to check up on how his eye is; he'll only ask they move to a room where they can be alone to do so #//Jean's tried to convince him to let her see it after she got her Vision and realized its healing properties #//He adamantly refused #//Let the healers see it only ONCE; & their reactions made him genuinely consider if he should let them get away with the knowledge of it #//Spun up some tale why his eyes were mismatched & the burns as awful as they were to stave them off #//But from that point on; would NOT let them see it. If anyone was treating his eye; it would be HIM and HIM alone #//Is probably why it didn't heal up as well as it could have under their care. Can still sort of see; but nowhere near as clear as the othe #//Most of the folks who treated him and saw his eye left with Varka. He has lingering paranoia of what they could say abt him to Varka #//He's even snapped at Klee for trying to see; having been playfully trying to steer her away from taking the patch off #//Then just Panicked when he felt the string loosen. he felt so awful afterward; esp with how she'd burst into tears #//Anyone trying to or being perceived as trying to take off the patch WILL get a nasty strike of frostbite #//Which is why it takes a MASSIVE amount of trust to touch even that side of his face #//He esp doesn't want it seen immediately after using Abyssal energy; its influence is VERY noticeable there in particular #//Diluc is the one he'd loathe to see it the most; but not over a grudge; he's worried that in the (High Unlikely) case of him still caring #//That Diluc might blame himself for how the injury resulted. And/or try to 'help' with/talk abt it. And Kae doesn't want that at ALL #//There's also a lingering fear that Luc might in fact say the opposite and allude that Kae DESERVED the scars/affliction #//Which Kae wouldn't contest (nor does he think Luc is cruel enough to); but it Devastate him to hear it nonetheless #//Kae'd rather live in a permanent limbo wondering how Luc would react than actually find out; thanks #//Not even other Khaenri'ahns like Dainsleif are exempt; bc he doesn't want to say his usual cover story for the burns #//Wouldn't be as believable to the likes of them compared to the other Mondstadters

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kittlyns · 4 months

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I think I'm getting a piano tomorrow!!!

#no thanks to ANYONE in my life at all. I've been trying to figure out how to make this work all afternoon #I have to pay my dad to come help me move it. my grandma was supposed to let me use her trailer but she just decided she needs it now #so I'm just gonna have to rent one.#the fact that I've been talking about this for ages and my whole family has been like you find a piano and we'll help you get it!#only for me to find a piano and have them be like mmmm have you considered I was lying #honestly I should not be so surprised but whatever. I'm gonna make it work #and if not I hope the seller just fucking murders me #I know better than to get my hopes up but I really need this. it's been so long since I've played

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carcarrot · 8 months

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daley @bawnjourno tagged me to make my ultimate 20-song sparks setlist and here it is!!! also tagging @ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way @whompthatsucker1981 @dinkydiamond @kitclock @nocribdoll @eddie-rifff and anyone else who wants to do it!!

#thank youuuuuu daley and everyone else don't feel pressured if you don't wanna #ok now on to explaining my choices.#take me for a ride is how the band walk out like this year but they do the whole rest of the song which already kills me instantly #completely optional suggestion to perform check out time 11 am in robes like the single cover. anyway moving on #its important to note that ideally leos carax joins them onstage for when youre a french director #i originally included take me out with the ffs medley but figured it should be kept to sparks songs only.#however id die to see them do take me out on their own. i require it . for the choreography alone. moving on #the order of these wasnt planned but having missionary position go to more than a sex machine and then she got me pregnant is hysterical imo #and finally i really (Really) need them to do wunderbar again. it probably wont happen but oh we can dream. a great show ender i think #im sorry this turned into the top 20 songs where that man hoes it up setlist but what did you expect from me #spars

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spotaus · 2 months

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Pt 10! (Very relevant to all their stories!)

#utmv #oc #utmv sans #utmv oc #goldinsanity #I think many of these could go into depth so I'm gonna speedrun #Orchid: Trained by Nightmare to Kill and Maim and also has a thrill for it #Stereo: Hated fighting for a long time but grew to enjoy it when with Reset/Orchid #Shotput: Trained by Dream and Killer to fight. thinks it's mildly fun but mostly only sparring #N: Thinks of fighting like a Dance since she can't die. uses it to come up with unique dodge-moves #Ichor: very good at fighting but saw too much war and bloodshed to really enjoy it outside sparring #Haphazard: Decent Fighter (Trained by Blue) but would rather talk things out (Blue raised this boy when Ink forgor about him)#Monochrome: Wasn't taught to fight (in case he rebelled) but learned from Orchid. not a fan of fighting at all (Scary!)#Reset: Technically trained to fight but can't do any real damage thanks to his magic. would like it more if he could draw blood #Pretender: Not very good at fighting. prefers luring in enemies and killing them before a fight can start.#Lost: Bro has memory issues. he doesn't have time to be fighting! he's trying to get home!!

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biteapple · 11 months

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i really fuckin hate my current roommate situation for multiple reasons. one of which is due to him deciding to quit her job immediately after i moved down here i had to be the only leaseholder with a secret roommate situation. and now. their gate system is changing and uses an app to open the gate with a verified occupant's phone number. fuuuuck im like banging my head against the wall

#ordinarily i wouldnt mind a secret roommate situation but its to the point with this guy that i have to handle everything on top of this #and he does not like me all the while. and it sucks so bad #this whole venture down here has been really chaotic and messed up #i cant imagine them ONLY using the app. like. what if my phone dies when im out and i live alone right?#i just gotta call them tomorrow and ask. but it just blows to have to worry about this #in the wake of them deciding to quit his job immediately after i moved in with her #like we talked about them quitting his job before i moved in but i didnt realize it'd be for..... so long. so long.#so long that i had to get us a new apartment that he didnt want to make any input in with #she just wanted me to handle it #and when i broke my foot and was homebound i had to move us both out and repair the previous place up #and after a few months of living here in the new place where we had plans to travel out together and make texas temporary....#she ghosted me for 4 months (WE LIVE TOGETHER?) and then went ''yeah i wasnt being fair to you this isnt working.. -#-i dont like your cats and didn't realize how much i valued living alone''#thanks. im being ditched here. what am i supposed to do now #sorry for always talking about this shit. its my current life situation rn. its not nearly as bad as i've been through but it just sucks

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ilonacho · 1 year

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the fucking audacity of watching the pixar short film “going home” while i’m home for my grandma’s funeral.

#like….. yeah #2 weeks ago i did not know id be here rn #i did not know she would take a turn for the worse this fast #im very thankful things worked out to where i could be here #for my wife and her support and i guess my boss and coworkers for their understanding #i have been lucky to not have been here for the very tough times #im thankful to be here with my family now #theyre doing a lot of new housing in my town now #many buildings i walked by as a kid have been demolished and are being rebuilt #we emptied my grandmas room today. she had only lived there for about 3 weeks before passing #we drive by my mom olds house. the house i grew up in. the new owner still hasnt torn down my old curtains in my old room #the old curtains my grandma had sewn for me when i was a baby #my dad is thinking about moving too. too many new buildings too many new people too much noise #two of my cousins have kids now! and the third one is getting married soonish? her fiance seems nice. he seems like he cares about her #my nephew and niece are so big now. i still havent met my other niece #i wonder if any of my old classmates have had kids? if they moved too?#ill be leaving again on tuesday. itll be a looong day #my parents have more and more grey hairs every time i see them #i dont see my brother as much as id like. hes following his dreams and im proud of him. hes a good kid #anyway the guy who made said short film is literally just like me fr #from germany and had been in the us 5 years (at the time) and making this short film?#just like me fr #anyway. this became one of those diaries for me posts haha #it just really captured how it is really well

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bundlebrent · 7 months

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Apparently my not doing well is noticeable because my boss gave me Friday off and was like hey take a long weekend and go see your family

#I’m not sure if I will go home #it depends on if I think I can talk to my parents about Why I’m struggling #without them trying to convince me it’s not as bad as I think it is #also to be fair the family comment is just because I do go home to my parents like every other week #when we convinced my grandma to move into a retirement home near them one of the selling points was it being easier for people to visit #mostly me since my other cousin doesn’t go by like ever even tho she lives half an hour away #(for those of you that know Zoe this is the other side of my family so a different situation grandma wise #anyways I go by and see her for a while on Saturdays I’m up and swing by Sunday morning when I head home #I’ve spent more time with her since she moved then I had in years #which is good I’m glad I get to see her m #I got off topic there but like the go home to see your family wasn’t a you’re barely holding it together and need your family #it’s more you need a break go see your family like you like to do #but like I said I’m not sure I mean honestly I only got my mom to understand I struggle with mental illness like a couple of years ago #I don’t know how she missed me going to therapy and being on antidepressants in high school #maybe she just thought it was a grief thing and that I’d gotten better?#god I wrote so much in these tags sorry thanks to any of you that read all the way through

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guinevereslancelot · 9 months

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feeling like my friends secretly hate me at it's not even 9pm

#been feeling this way since the weekend....#helped my pregnant friend move and couldn't shake the feeling she was upset abt the way i was packing her stuff even tho i checked with her #but she wasn't giving any directions i had to make choices lol #and i got a lot done but idk #her husband said she wasn't upset just feeling terrible w morning sickness #also i offered to bring a meal by several times and she keeps putting me off #and then my mom got her some maternity clothes and she didn't even say thank you #and i asked if that made her uncomfortable and she just kind of laughed but didn't say no #she basically hasnt given a straight answer about anything in weeks #idk she has no actual reason to be upset and i know she's not feeling well but she's been acting sooo weird #it makes me feel liks she's mad at me :(#even my mom's feelings were hurt abt the clothes #so that's just confirming for me its not in my head even tho ik it probably is #anyway i hate feeling like this #we're not lile suuuper close and she's been so weird i dont want to bring it up #esp since she's not feeling well and has a lot going on and real problems lol #anyway :(#this has been a shitpost #if we were closer i would def tell her she hurt my mom's feelings at least #also my brother and i were like the only people in the friend group to show up to help them move #so that should buy forgiveness for packing stuff wrong or whatever #like we had to just get stuff packed they had barely packed and all that was left was miscellaneous stuff #and it took forever even tho we tried to be efficient and get through as much as possible quickly #but im worried she felt like we were judging the mess idk

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lilgynt · 10 months

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still sobbing my eyes so never having a weed free night again

#personal #my door got caught on my laundry basket and crutches and i crashed against the walker i got my dad #and i want to yell at my brother how awful he is - which? either of them but mainly the broken door one #but i’ve done that and it doesn’t change anything let alone how i feel #and i wish my mom understood but she just hates me #and she can say she doesn’t and she buys me gifts but then hangs it over my head bc we’re broke #but it’s like i’m in the wrong for my brother violently breaking my door and then is upset i’m upset he still hasn’t fixed it #and this only came up bc she bought me a door accessory. BUT WOULDNT LET ME BUY A DOOR WHEN IT Orginally broke #like life is fine and all till i’m sober and remember my family is actually doesn’t like me and is super mean to me #and i feel like i’m so burnt out from everything i can’t even think about moving out #even tho i said fuck it that one time a few months ago #and i can’t move in with either of my brothers bc they’ve deeply hurt me and i can’t trust them like that #like do i think i would be safe with them and they would house me yes without question #do i think i would sooner kill myself over the pride issue of them constantly treating me like shit i can’t imagine living with #or being thankful to them while still feeling like #i don’t even know what i feel other than not liked or respected by my family #i know it’s lack of weed period and then just also generally living a bad life and having bad family relations but oh my god #gun to the back of my head rn please. please.#but in all seriousness first night i’ve been like huh. i could definitely buy a gun. really bad since the whole dad situation #like other night i punched a mirror when i got charged from my dentist from something two years ago with no warning. no notice #like 200 bucks. so. i already dealt with that it’s some insurance shit im seeing if i can do payments or whatever but never fucking working #with them again. didn’t even answer my question on why i wasn’t given any notices when i had them send me the bill and insurance claims

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ailendolin · 2 years

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"I can wait! Lord knows I've had the practice." - Thomas in 1x02

The way Mat delivers this line is so heartbreaking. At first glance, it's all about Thomas falling hopelessly in love with someone yet again. We barely know anything about him at this point but it tells us this isn't the first time it has happened. It establishes a pattern.

But I think there's more to it. In a way, all the ghosts' afterlives are defined by waiting - waiting for their family's next visit, waiting to be forgotten by them, waiting to forget them, waiting for someone to die and perhaps become a ghost themselves, waiting to move on ... Their whole existence revolves around waiting for something to happen to them because that's the only change they can experience now they no longer have any control over their lives. They can't leave, can't move on, can't even interact with anyone or anything that's part of the living world (with a few exceptions). They are stuck, and I think the helplessness and resignation they all must feel every single day is perfectly, painfully shown in this one line.

It's not just about Thomas's broken heart. It's about all of them getting their hearts broken again and again with no end in sight.

#It's such a blink and you miss it moment but that line really stood out to me when I rewatched the episode yesterday #at this point they don't know the endless waiting will be over thanks to Alison #but it made think about how horrible their existence must have been before she came around #where the only things affecting them is on of them moving on or someone else becoming a ghost #thomas thorne #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts meta #mp bbc ghosts

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