#and she was never in a good enough place emotionally to challenge that perception

[calypsolemon]

i know I've spoken on this extensively before but it's still so funny to me when ppl point out harumi blaming lloyd illogically for her parents death instead of pythor or whatever as if it's like an actual plothole of her character. If she was "logical" she wouldn't be a crazy evil bitch ok <3

[uponrightful]

Hi! I’ve just finished Welcome Company-it was so good, your writing is amazing! I have a question about one of the last scenes if that’s OK? Partly about Pups point of view, because a lot of what happened to her post Order 66 is clearly in her mind, but seems to read differently emotionally later if that makes sense? I’d also like to know why you decided to include the scene of Pup having to fight one last time. -RebelMedic99

“Wolffe! Please!” She sobbed through the pain and fear, whimpering when the kid pulled her own arm around her throat, locking in a chokehold she was unable to break from. He laughed dryly in her ear, yanking on her broken wrist to elicit another scream.

“He’s not coming back you little slut.” He fell into another fit of laughter, “And even if he did you’ll be so used he won’t even want to look at you.” His evil words cut right through her. She was already broken, and yet another piece was about to be taken, and smashed on the floor right in front of her. She felt the pain of his remarks, feeling just as useless as he’d appraised.

She wanted to fight anyways.

The pain in her wrist didn’t subside, but it wasn’t going to stop until she got his filthy hands off her. And without that blaster, she really didn’t have a chance at getting off the ship, or keeping the ship safe until Wolffe got back. She struggled to keep her breath even, fighting to pull her broken wrist out of his grasp so she could get free.

Think fast…

Get him off guard…

“You really want me?” She choked out, wincing from the abrasive words cutting at her tongue. If he was that young, there was a chance he’d fall for it and drop the -hopefully- act long enough for her to grab the upper hand.

“You’re a fucking slut! Already turning towards the closest man you can get in your pants!” He snarled, yanking her wrist again. The girl held back her cry, again repeating the question for him, praying it would make a bigger impact this time.

“I’ll behave. I promise.” She faked convincingly enough through her tears. The kid’s grip faltered just for a second before retaining its unflinching need to inflict pain again. Yet, by miracle, he released her wrist and stepped back with the blaster dropped down at his side. Miraculously, his anger suddenly disappeared, and a look of disbelief came over him.

“Pick me.” He ordered harshly, as she turned to face him.

Everything moved so quickly.

Commentary Track for Welcome Company

Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I’ll give my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character’s- when I wrote it!

*send one in here*

This one is challenging, but we'll see if I can explain it without sounding like a complete dumbass... 😅

***

We'll start with addressing her emotional shift towards Order 66 first, and that will help set up the reasoning why she had this "last stand" at the end. (This won't be from her POV, it'll make things a little simpler.)

Pup's true knowledge of what Order 66 is comes in small bits and pieces after she flees Coruscant. It's obvious right away that something changed, but it's not for a really long time that she finds out that there might be something "unwilling" about the whole situation. In this time frame -of a couple years- she's actually left to her own devices and thought-process to make sense of it all. And a couple of years can really take a toll on someone's perception of what is really going on.

There is talk of manipulation, and how 'robotic' the clones are. All of it culminating in a bunch of half-assed theories as to why they suddenly have this unbending will for the Empire when they fought for the Republic for so long. (The bar fight Wolffe was in, is where I tried to explore this a little bit with the Cerean.) But Pup only hears rumors, and those weak excuses aren't enough to dissuade her fear of seeing troopers again. Because ultimatley, there are hundreds of them who'd been to her home, and in her mind, it's possible that they could come after her and punish her for that. It's not a realistic fear, but if you combine it with her last experience with a clone, it's one that would easily create a serious emotional trigger.

I meant for it to be a tad bit confusing when reading her emotions. Pup wants to love the clones -and she still does- but seeing one of them in real life would be fucking terrifying. Their sweet memories are always there, and she does her best to only think of those. However it's easy to be reminded of why she can't still see them, when she's living on a backwater planet to try and reassure herself that she'll never have to risk seeing a clone again. Because all of the love that they'd given her -in her mind- is completely gone the second she's shot by one.

And her entire being is damaged assuming that Wolffe is no different than the rest of them. Pup knows all the clones are acting this way, and Wolffe is really no exception. So even though she loves him dearly it's really scary when she sees him for the first time after all these years. Is he safe? Is there something still wrong with him? Does he want to take her with him, back to the Empire? These are all questions she has, because she's never seen a clone after Order 66 without a functioning chip.

The reason her change of heart is so sudden, is because Pup didn't let go of the good memories she had of her troopers. That integral part of her character is to forgive and be patient -even if she's been damaged by something or someone. Yes, she keeps it bottled up. But that was because she couldn't get rid of her base traits. You can't wholly change your personality very easily, and Pup never really wanted to in the first place. She was just forced to create this harder persona so she could survive. Then after Wolffe comes back, and he's painstakingly careful in trying to prove that he's not under influence any longer, it makes that desire to care for him -like she's always had- come back much smoother.

(It's a continuity error that I never gave a proper scene dedication to it; But I did have a draft that included an Order 66 conversation with Rex and Pup during that scene in Chapter 14.)

I chose not to include it because I wanted someone to focus on Pup's traumas faced during the transition period of planet-hopping. It might sound cruel of me to not include his struggles, but they've been covered so many times in other fics, that I gave the assumption my "Initial Implementation" scene and "Chip Removal Scene" would be emotionally sympathetic and exploratory enough of how Wolffe felt during and after, without needing to express it to you directly. Not to mention, after Pup and Wolffe are reunited, she's not stupid enough to not infer that it was against his will. She quite frequently notes throughout that his guilty looks and hesitancy to make physical contact with her are very noticeable and telling of how he feels about his time with the Empire.

All of this said, now her fight scene:

Right before they leave the cabin, she's feeling a little loss of home. But really, Pup never had too much of an attachment to her house on Takodana in the first place. What's really getting her emotional at this point is the realization that she finally has Wolffe back. It's security she's wanted this whole time, and although the boys aren't letting her help with the bounty, she's willing to do whatever they want because she understands that they've got the experience here. Plus, she's really not physically able to do a whole lot after her slight hypothermia exposure.

I wanted her weak for this: Emotionally, physically, mentally. It had to be that way for a reason.

Until this point, Pup hasn't ever shown a real motivation to fight for anything, other than making the trip to the outpost to save her friend. BUT. That's risking herself to save someone else. Pup has never done anything for her own benefit, without it being equally helpful for someone else. Even when she got Wolf, it wasn't just for herself. Iahcen was getting something out of it as well.

I know it's cliche, but her last moments alone on that ship waiting was where her character development needed to reach and end. Because I made the overarching plot of fighting for love, but I needed that same lesson to be learned in-story, as well to round it out. It had to be Pup, because she's been running this whole time. Wolffe can't learn it, because he's been fighting the entire time.

The kid is a symbol of kindness not being returned. This is key, because Pup has always been nice -even when she didn't need to be. And he attacks her for that. He comes in as the tool to show her that being kind doesn't always work; And sometimes you have to stand against something, instead of running or letting someone run over her. I also made certain to have the kid attack Wolffe's character. This was essential, because Pup has nothing else she wants to fight for. Wolffe has always been her one essential thing, and he was what made her realize that being a little selfish and desiring something isn't a bad thing. This kid is a product of her sympathetic nature, and he's willingly insulting and threatening her chance at having the one thing Pup has always wanted.

Pup needed fight or flight, and the only time her 'fight mode' kicks in, is when she realizes there's something she wants. On Coruscant, she had nothing, so she ran. Pup wanted to live for Wolffe, in the hopes that he might still be alive, and that was the first time her fight response kicked in. Then her friend was in danger of dying, that was the second time she chose to fight.

Her love and security in Wolffe was being threatened, and that was Pup's final character development, and why she needed this fight scene without Wolffe -or anyone else's assistance- in the matter.

***

I hope this wasn't garbage 😅 and I explained it decently... If not, please let me know. I'll do anything I can to answer your questions!

Much Love, Rightful 🤍

[violetwolfraven]

“Oh my gosh, Flynn! Don’t bother coming!”

Part 2 of that flarrie angst I wrote earlier. This should be fun.

Tw: abandonment, denial of feelings, a little internalized homophobia.

...

“Oh my gosh, Flynn! Don’t bother coming!”

Of course Carrie doesn’t want Flynn and Julie to come to her performance. Why would she? It’s not like they’re friends anymore. They’re not. They haven’t been for a while.

Carrie does not miss Flynn and Julie.

She doesn’t. She doesn’t need them. They were good friends while it lasted, sure, but that’s over and dead and it’s never coming back so Carrie isn’t stuck in the past missing them.

She’s got Dirty Candi now. And the others are talented, but not enough to be competition like Julie is, and they have a healthy fear of the girl who can kick them out of the band if she wants, so they don’t challenge her like Flynn does. They do what they’re told. Carrie doesn’t have to care about their opinions beyond making sure they know they can tell her if any choreography or costumes make them uncomfortable. Considering she’s had to alter a grand total of two dance moves since they got together, that’s not even that big of a concern.

It is not lonely, being a bubblegum pop princess ruling alone over her little kingdom by fear. It’s... different from how things were with Julie and Flynn, but it’s better. The other girls know that their talents lie mostly in dance and these days, that alone isn’t enough to get them the fame they want so badly. They need Carrie to get any real fame. Hopefully, that means they can’t just leave at the drop of a hat.

Sure, maybe Kayla never used to look at her with that caution before their dance class became their band, but it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s probably better, because if she’s afraid of Carrie, she can’t hurt her.

None of them can. No one can.

Carrie’s finally as invincible as she always wished she was and she is not lonely.

She doesn’t miss having Julie to bounce music ideas off of and Flynn to...

Flynn. Talking about everything from things that don’t actually matter to things that really, really do. Watching Pirates of the Caribbean and chugging soda to stay awake and braiding each other’s hair.

Flynn, who is as sarcastic as she is compassionate, level-headed as they are ready to throw hands with anyone who hurts one of her friends. Fiercely protective yet would probably sell you to Satan for one corn chip.

Carrie can still remember the process to help when there’s something bothering them. Turn on her favorite movie trilogy, mess around with her hair a bit, talk about nothing important until they’re ready to talk about whatever is important. Give Flynn her full attention, making sure they feel seen and her feelings are validated. Carrie got it down to a science years ago, and it always felt nice to help when they were upset. It made this warm feeling flush through her chest, seeing that lovely smile of hers creep out, and...

And okay, maybe Carrie can’t watch Pirates of the Caribbean anymore because it feels wrong to watch it without them, but that doesn’t mean anything! It doesn’t mean she misses her!

Carrie doesn’t miss people. Missing someone doesn’t bring them back, so why bother? And besides, Flynn and Julie are hardly the first people to leave her behind.

Honestly, though, she doesn’t expect Nick to leave until he does.

She knows about his crush on Julie (and on at least one of his lacrosse teammates at any given time). She’s not blind. Of course she knows. And she doesn’t particularly care, because she knows Nick, and she knows he wouldn’t cheat.

And she knows that they’ve been together since the beginning of 8th grade—over 2 years—and most teen relationships don’t last 2 months, so it’s not exactly a surprise that he doesn’t like her that way anymore. He did in the beginning, but lately they’ve been drifting apart not so much physically as emotionally. They’re not the same people they were in 8th grade.

Nick has known Julie for as long as he’s known Carrie, so of course he knew Rose, too (another person in Carrie’s life that left.) and for him, with the Molinas’ tendency to provide family figures to anyone who needs them, her death was probably a ripping open of old wounds, considering how his own mother died when he was little. Rose’s death affected him almost as much as it did a girl who’s known the Molinas since she was in diapers.

Carrie just... tried really hard not to think about it. She’s still trying really hard not to think about it. Because Rose was... well, she was around for more of Carrie’s childhood than her deadbeat of a blood mother was.

That woman is another thing Carrie tries really hard not to think about.

She who only stuck around for the first 7 years of Carrie’s life, and then left because... because she cried too much or needed too much attention or just got to be too much effort? Because she wasn’t a part of the future her mother wanted?

Because Carrie was never wanted in the first place?

It’s not like her dad ever told her, but Carrie’s not stupid. She knows that her parents were never married, and her dad had been tripping hard on the consequences of teenage fame around the time she would have been conceived. He’d cleaned up his act for her and her mom hadn’t because why would she put in the effort for the product of what was probably a one night stand?

Carrie’s not stupid. No one told her, but she knows she was an accident. And she doesn’t care. She doesn’t let how she came to be affect how she lives her life. She doesn’t be bright and flashy and talented to prove that she deserves her space in the world. She doesn’t let it affect her perception of herself or her relationships.

Flynn is always so effortlessly confident in themself, no matter if she’s feeling conflicted about her mom having a girlfriend or angry about their dad ignoring them or sad about her best friend’s mom who was as good as another mother to them dying. It’s one of the things Carrie loves hates the most about her. That she could be that confident (so confident she could almost make Carrie feel confident in herself).

Flynn always acts like they’re right. It’s infuriating because she almost always is she’s wrong when it comes to Carrie.

Okay, maybe Carrie doesn’t like Nick that way. Maybe Flynn’s right about that. But he bops to her songs. He doesn’t challenge her. And he’s hiding from acting on any of his actual crushes just like her.

They’re together because... because Carrie does like being around him. Nick’s easy to like. He’s friendly with practically everyone and has pretty flexible music taste. He’s popular, like her. They make sense together.

And Carrie knows he’s been hiding behind her to avoid confronting his crush on Julie for the last several months, so it honestly doesn’t make sense why he’d want to stop. What they’re doing now is safe. It’s easy. Effortless, really.

And it’s apparently not enough. Carrie is apparently not enough for him anymore.

Whatever. She doesn’t think him and Julie are going to get together, be it because of Julie’s new crush on her guitarist or Nick’s already-established inability to make a damn move on a real crush. Honestly, she’s expecting him to chicken out and run back to her like the last couple times.

Or at least... she is until he accuses her of the same thing Flynn did years ago.

When Flynn who is always right insisted she’s...

Carrie remembers back when they first came out, when Triple Threat was they were maybe... 11? 10? As a lesbian with she/they pronouns. She remembers how everyone was supportive, but Rose did pull Julie and Carrie aside later to say that they need to look out for Flynn because people can be hateful and though it’s getting better, things will be harder for her because of who they are.

And Rose was right. In the spotlight, it’s harder to be anything but straight. Her dad told her once about a friend he had when he was younger who faced so much shit because he was gay. She saw the stickynote some idiot stuck in Flynn’s locker in 7th grade. She’s seen producers and choreographers willing to work with Dirty Candi—until they look at Courtney’s Instagram and find that she’s out and proud and therefore not as marketable to a mainstream audience.

It’s not easy to be anyone trying to get your big break. But if you’re straight your sexuality is never one of the things that gets in the way, so Carrie is straight.

She’s fine with Courtney being out. She’s not their front woman and the group’s reputation can survive that. And Julie and Flynn’s sexualities are never one of the things Carrie mocks about them, but she knows from stalking the comments on Edge of Great and seeing some assholes saying shit about Julie being bisexual that others aren’t so kind.

Another reason Carrie liked being with Nick was because she had an excuse not to think about any of this.

Not to replay Flynn’s voice in her mind from when they were 13, confessing feelings Carrie had never even considered and asking her out.

She’d run away from that—run to Nick—because... because she felt bad, breaking Flynn’s heart. Not because there was any kind of realization and consequential panic about feelings for her that Carrie might, hypothetically return.

It’s easier to be straight. Being straight doesn’t hurt her career, and she needs her career because she’s got to prove to everyone who ever left her that they should’ve stayed that she’s just as talented as her dad.

So when the feelings and heartbreak and complications ruin their friendship because Flynn is right can’t accept being wrong, she doesn’t miss Flynn. She doesn’t miss Flynn. She doesn’t miss Flynn.

Pirates of the Caribbean isn’t even that good of a franchise anyway, so what does Carrie care if Flynn hates her guts and calls her a demon and growls that you don’t even like him and you can lie to the world and yourself about who you are but we can be friends again when you’re ready to stop lying to me.

Carrie doesn’t miss them. She doesn’t miss Julie, either. She doesn’t need either of them. She doesn’t want them around. She doesn’t enjoy the (grudgingly) impressed look on Flynn’s face on the rare occasion she shows up to a Dirty Candi show and watches Carrie shine without them.

But with how weird Nick’s been acting lately... maybe she does need Julie and Flynn’s help to find out what’s wrong, because the normal Nick left her clearly doesn’t trust her anymore and she won’t be able to help him by herself.

So after over a year of pushing them away, telling them not to bother coming to her performances, being angry that Julie is so successful, Carrie sucks it up, takes a deep breath, and walks over to Julie’s locker for a civil conversation.

The murderous look that Flynn gives her doesn’t matter. It’s fine.

Carrie hasn’t missed her, or... desperately wanted her around even when they were fighting or anything.

...

I’m pretty sure I saw someone call the blue one Courtney once. I don’t think it’s a canon name but that’s who that is if anyone was wondering.

I kinda rushed finishing this because jatp won an mtv award and I wanted to contribute to (maybe) making it trend so sorry if it kinda sucks! If you do like it, comments are love so please comment!

Also let me know if you want a part 3 cause I’m undecided on writing more to this.

[autumnalwalker]

Blah, once again I've been tagged but never got an activity notification about it.

As usual these days, for the Empty Names cast since that's the project most actively taking up brain space:

Lacuna:

She thinks the best thing that could happen to her is finally getting a body that feels right to her. And that would in fact be very, very good. But her bigger root problem that she's not entirely acknowledging is that on some level she doesn't feel like she deserves to be happy and that's something she really needs to work through. Especially since "your internalized perception of yourself can manifest as physical changes" is a core part of this setting's magic system and therefor is a big part of the reason she's having trouble with getting her body right.

Dealing with and (at least partially) achieving these things is part of her whole character arc/personal plotline, so this will be happening in some form. Eventually. Just a question of what she has to go through to get there and how many attempts will go horribly wrong along the way.

Eris:

She finds something (or someone) important enough to her to be able to walk away from her borderline addiction to throwing herself into dangerous and violent situations.

As things stand right now, that's pretty unlikely, and with Lacuna starting to get a handle on healing magic rituals, she's not even likely to get permanently injured enough to no longer be able to do that stuff (short of an injury actually killing her, or maybe thoroughly traumatizing her).

Ashan:

He works up the courage to let his parents (and younger brother whom he's never met) know he's not dead and they believe he is who he claims to be and accept him back into their lives. Oh, and also finding a way to make amends with his mentor/kidnapper/adoptive second mom (it's a complicated relationship). And maybe actually make some friends for once in his life. And possibly find a therapist qualified to deal with the trauma of being isekai'd at the age of nine and spending the next decade and change on a dangerous magic wizard adventure.

The friends and therapy are fairly reasonable (it has already started happening with the friends and finding a therapist with experience regarding his situation is not as insurmountable a challenge as one might think). Getting back with his family and mentor is unfortunately not something he believes is reasonable to hope for, due to a number of factors (not the least of which is maintaining the Masquerade/Veil/whatever you want to call it of keeping the supernatural out of sight from normal people).

Sullivan:

Road gets to a place in life where they don't need him anymore and his dearly departed wife comes back. It's not that Sullivan doesn't want Road around, it's that he recognizes that their relationship is super codependent with them both acting as enablers for one another's worst habits and he genuinely believes Road would be better off without him (but only if Road can first get mentally/emotionally stable and find other people to socially bond with first).

Alas, his dearly departed wife coming back to him is far more likely.

Road:

Regaining personhood. Or the final and complete loss of what's still left of it.

Unfortunately, the damage may be too well and truly done for the former and Sullivan has devoted most of his life to preventing the latter, so half-identified limbo it is for the foreseeable future.

Blorbo Blursday #4

What's the best possible thing that could happen to your character? Is it reasonable for it to happen to them?

Taglist (DM me to be added or removed): @interroblog @muumysworld @afusiek @the-ravens-requiem @sender-paulson @everthewip @bluberimufim @amaiguri @akiwitch @thetruearchmagos @autumnalwalker @gracehosborn @cljordan-imperium @aether-wasteland-s @saintedseraph @deanwax @berristrawberri @owlbearwrites @the-down-upside-finch @stridingwriter @dandelion-jester @johnmurphysgirl @ghostsofchernobyl @alexsidereus @innocenthedgehog @oh-for-a-dream @unmellowyellowfellow @oh-no-another-idea @druidx @ibuprofen-exe @shay-creates @aquadestinyswriting @loopyhoopywrites @n1ghtcrwler @writingonmymind @wardenred @void-botanist @dyrewrites @sm-writes-chaos @iishmael @romances-not-tragedies @inscrutable-shadow @athenswrites @uraniumwriting @pigeonwhumps @stesierra @bittersqxtch @imslowlydisintegrating @harleyacoincidence @keysandopenmind

[hanamiyaaaa]

ONE PIECE HEADCANONS: Ideal S/O

Monkey D. Luffy

It's already very obvious that Luffy is basically chopper when it comes to sexual/romantic attraction (when not under usopp's influence). Oda stated that Luffy can identify beauty and while this is true, it's also made obvious that physical appearance isn't a major player (at all) for him when it comes to choosing who he wants to drag into his crew/life. That's why if he were to fall in love I'm sure he'd very much see past the cover.

Luffy would want someone adventurous; someone who he could share those thrilling moments with when he feels as if nothing is chaining him down. It would be great to have a wind beneath his wings of freedom, but he'd enjoy a partner who could find their own wind and glide with him. He'd want someone to laugh with, eat with, play with, basically share his life with. It's very important that his s/o would be open enough to let him in and is willing to be involved in his life too. He'd also prefer people who are on the positive end of the spectrum. I can see him being drawn to a cheerful girls and would grow fond of her smile and laugh. Above everything else, his s/o must know the right thing to do. Luffy wouldn't want a saint, if his s/o was too selfless he may even tell her that being selfish sometimes can be okay. Instead, he'd want someone who listens to her conscience and has a sense of sincerity. Patience isn't something that Luffy would actively look for an s/o but would be a good trait to have especially with that devil-may-care attitude of his. He's bound to bring all sorts of trouble to himself (and to the people around him by extension) and get all beaten up so his s/o would repeatedly have to patch him up and then prepare to repeat it all again. She can remind him to be careful, he'd try but will ultimately fail. He'd tolerate your nagging but don't expect him to be tied down.

Roronoa Zoro

Women with a more athletic build would catch Zoro's eyes. Size wouldn't matter as long as they have defined muscles. He'd find her toned curves and well-built shoulders very much attractive, and would be his favorite places to attack during sexy time. Having muscles on her body will give him the idea that she's strong and is capable of taking hard and heavy work which wouldn't be just hot but also really impressive. I think he would find girls with broad shoulders and a pair of long legs to be more attractive because of the way she projects a certain kind of masculinity but maintains a womanly image. Like a female warrior, she’s strong but delicate at the same time.

First and foremost, she must have dignity. She must maintain pride and honor through her actions, words and thoughts. This means she'd have to deliver what she promised, practices what she preached, and stay faithful to her subordinates and master. She doesn't have to play by the rules all the time, but she has to be someone who trusts her strength and abilities to defeat her adversary rather than a person who'd use deceit to win. A victory achieved through dishonesty wouldn't be a victory at all, and nothing would have been proved. Despite Zoro’s proven perceptiveness in battle, he’s socially dense so he’d prefer a woman who would straightforwardly tell him a problem and hurt his feelings than a girl who beat around the bush and hurt his head. Bonus if she knew the things that she wanted and knew how she'd get them. Decisive women would be very attractive to them because that meant they're self-reliant, self-assured and is prepared to face the consequences of their actions. That kind of bravery would impress Zoro, but not the reckless kind of bold. It's a shame for a swordsman to have scars on his back, but if she'd throw away her life for something meaningless just to prove that she can would just look foolish in his eyes even if she ended up surviving. Perseverance would also be an important trait that Zoro would look for a partner. She should have enough self-discipline and motivation to achieve her goals no matter how unimportant they may be, and no matter how difficult things become.

Trafalgar Law

I really feel like women with a light hair color, like platinum blonde or white, and/or a very fair skin would catch Law's attention as it would remind him of Flevance. She would remind him of his cold past, but at the same time remind him of the warmth of his home. Law would find girls with smaller bone structure more attractive. She'd have a thin and willowy build with modest endowments and slender arms and legs. Like a ballerina, she'll be peppered with delicate features that would make up a feminine and gentle image. Law would find tranquility in her simplicity, and would be a sight for his sore and tired eyes.

It's important to know the difference between know-it-all and an intelligent person because the former would only annoy Law while the latter would impress him. A woman who could quickly process a complicated thought and find a way to apply it to her current situation is the kind of intelligence that he's looking for. She should display a sense of caution, a good judgement and the ability to protect herself because Law wouldn't be able to look after her all the time, and he especially wouldn't want to be with a helpless damsel. Maturity would be the next good thing to have because loving Law isn't an easy task. After everything that happened to him, opening his heart once more to love isn't going to be easy. It would be a painfully slow process with a lot hesitation. Things are bound to be frustrating because there would be a time where he'd start opening up but then suddenly takes a step back and begin creating distance, that's why she needs to pack a lot of patience and understanding if she wanted to be a part of his life. Grace is a quality that he may find attractive. A girl who acts in a refined way, and moves with precision and poise would be satisfying and spectacular to watch... just like a ballerina. Also, I feel he'd like soft-spoken girls, Even if she's talkative, he'd enjoy listening to her voice but then he would prefer to hang around someone who can respect and find comfort in silence with him.

Eustass Kid

Kid is a man. A carnivore, above all. Naturally, he'd want meat in the things he eats. He'd be attracted to women on the heavier side. Large busts, wide hips and thick thighs with a proportionally narrow waist would steal his eyes from whatever he's looking. A little muscle would be great too, especially if the ones on her legs are tone and well-built. It would earn her a grin or a smirk from Kid if he saw her flex her legs as she prepares for a kick and then the muscles on her thighs become defined. I also see him favoring fuller and plump lips, liking the way they feel during a kiss and finding beauty in their shape and how they look and feel when it's around certain... things. He'd also find tattoos and body modifications like tongue or naval piercings pretty hot.

They said opposite attracts, but Kid would beg to differ. A girl who can bark as loud and bite as hard as he does would be immensely annoying but at the same time really impressive. She should be able to show him that she's strong, that she can handle herself and the things that come at her. It doesn't matter if she gets bruised and battered as long as comes out alive and victorious, it all makes a good difference. Kid would like to have a woman who he could compete with because a girl who gives up to everything that he says wouldn't be so fun. She should have enough balls to challenge him and stand up with the things she believes in. Restraint wouldn't be matter to Kid, in fact he'd like a girl who could go crazy with him but should be aware and ready to face the consequences that would come with rampaging. He'd also be more comfortable with someone who's a bit crude and emotionally/mentally-strong as compared to goodie-good girls. He's not the most refined person either and he'd definitely never deal with nitpicky people. That'd be so annoying. Honesty would be very important for Kid, and it's something that he'd constantly want her to give him. Don't lie to him, don't hide anything from him because he's perceptive and, I believe, naturally intuitive to know that there's something weird going on in his ship behind his back.

Killer

I feel like Killer would be attracted to hips; a woman who sports hips wider than the rest of her body. Imagine her figure, a bit narrow at the top then it gracefully pours down into a lovely shape that resembles the number 8. The way her hips flick from side to side as she walks would definitely catch eyes, especially Killer's! A little lean muscle is fine here and there, but a girl with too much may be a deal-breaker. She could be strong, but he'd like his women leaning more on the softer side.

Killer would prefer brains over beauty, preferably a rational thinker. She doesn't have to be a genius, but it would matter a lot if she could fight with her wits just as much as she could fight with her fits. Her artful ways of escaping enemies that she deems too strong to fight, and the way she sees beyond the situation and find solutions through unconventional methods would truly change the way he looks at her in a really good way. Killer isn't too different from his captain, or from anyone in their crew. He's just as violent as they are, but being the most reasonable member of the Kid Pirates oftentimes prevents him from going all out in battle. A woman who could lift that responsibility off his shoulder and help him lash out more would really please him. To do this, she'd have to be willing to sacrifice her own fun, otherwise she'd be added to the list of fully functional adults that Killer has to babysit... which isn't helpful at all. A person who's more comfortable in the sidelines and is more interested in supporting the crew would be best for him. A girl with a more passive disposition with an open mind would appeal more to Killer. She doesn't have to be physically strong as he can protect her, but the Kid Pirates has made a lot of enemies along their way so she should be able to keep herself alive at least.

[holisticsoulhealer]

Trust - A Spiritual Story

Trust is such a wonderful experience in life when we have it and so difficult to reclaim when we don’t. Building trust in each other, our tribes, our working environment and our general reality, seems to be a very important factor in a calm lifestyle.

I have a story where a wonderful man had every reason to not trust his story. This touched my life and changed my perception in a double way, let me explain…………

It was a Saturday and a man had booked a session with me for a relaxing massage, having been referred by my contacts at the busy local visitor center, in the very popular small Dutch town nearby. He was a healthy mid-50’s man, who came in all buttoned-up, in a shirt, tie and stiff jacket, looking like a principal of a school. He was serious, aloof and very matter-of-fact.

My mum welcomed him, offered tea or water, while I listened for any clues in his conversation, with regard to friendliness or open communication. As I prepared my room, I heard silence.

I went out to the reception and he followed me into the therapy room, sitting immediately, removing his shoes, absently listening to my instructions before I left him to undress and climb onto the table, face down for his massage. I stood at the doorway, requesting my Guides and his to come in and assist me, as he seemed more closed off than my usual clientele.

I stepped in and began working his physical body into more balance. He was as tight as a ball of string, with less elasticity. The pictures came and they shocked me. I was seeing a young 5-7 year old boy being hit by an imposing, angry man, who appeared to have a drinking demeanor. The father figure had a large stick or hard bat and was beating the boy. The boy was covering his ears and his head, which still caught the blows. It was relentless. While I worked on the man, the silent tears fell onto my cheeks. I wiped them away with the shoulder of my tunic, and kept going. I turned him over onto his back and gradually completed the massage. His body definitely softened and opened up, while I was challenged with whether to share with him what I had been remotely viewing all this time. The massage was complete and silence hadn’t been broken.

I left him to dress, as I stood outside the room, my heart in one hand and a cup of our filtered water in the other. I stepped in, handed him the water and closed the door. I asked him tentatively if I could share my insights while his massage had taken place. He nodded with the cup to his lips. I began to relate the pictures of the father figure and the boy, who bravely took all the beating.

I stood with tears at the very back of my eyes, looking openly at this unblinking man, who didn’t say one word. He shook his head and told me I must have been mistaken. I reeled, felt very embarrassed and apologized for mixing my wires and that I don’t usually get those pictures wrong, and was entirely willing to claim my mistake. I wished him well and hoped he had a good massage experience, and please disregard my inaccurate conversation and accept my humble apologies for getting it so wrong.

I left him to complete, while I went to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, rinsing my face at the sink, questioning how I could have been so totally off base.

I waited until I heard the door of the healing center close and then walked up to my mum at the front desk, telling her I really got that last session wrong. She smiled at me, letting me know I couldn’t have been wrong about the massage at least, because he rebooked for the next week.

I felt better, yet dreaded the next week’s appointment.

The man that entered the reception was in a Hawaiian style shirt, shorts and flip flops. He was smiling, relaxed and more than chatty to my mum. He complimented her on her shirt and let her know he was very happy the healing center existed. I was already blown away and I felt way more confident as I collected him to bring to our session room.

He sat and removed his flip flops, looking straight at me, asking me not to leave yet.

He told me I had the visions exactly right. He just wasn’t ready to admit out loud what he’d buried for over 50 years. He then looked at me and thanked me, with watery eyes.

I got really choked up as I listened to what he said next with my whole heart.

It was all true. His father was harsh, frustrated with his own truths and addictions. He blew his anger at his son. He beat him all the time, with sticks and bats and anything hard. The marks weren’t obvious and nothing was done to stop him. This was his brutal childhood. He lost trust in his own experience and life story. He had worn headphones, playing music in any silences, to drown out the memories that had hurt him so badly, on every level. After our session he had removed the headphones to sleep for the first time in over 50 years. He started to trust himself again. He had already booked for his wife to come and see me as she had lived with other trust issues, without being able to place the origin of them.

Our work took a whole other state of grace and his energy lifted to a place where he could finally breathe out. Nobody was going to hurt him. He could trust himself again. When we were complete with his massage and he was drinking water, preparing to leave the healing room, he told me he was married for the second time. The first marriage had ended because she felt she couldn’t reach him, and his relationship with his two adult sons was more distant and less honest and loving than he wanted.

He had arranged a weekend getaway, letting his sons know it was important for him to share something. The two young men, very curious, had agreed to join him, to stay on the boat he owned and had barely ever yet enjoyed. He was nervous and it was time for him to come clean emotionally.

While he was out on the boat with his sons, I was with his 50 year old wife. I laid her on the table, and within a few moments of the massage, I was immediately shown a tiny baby. I was encouraged to place her in the fetal position and rock her, with a soothing tune escaping my lips. She quietly wept the whole time. When our time was complete, I left her to gather herself, and I returned with the customary cup of water.

I let her know I had worked on a tiny baby, being instructed to hold and love her, empowering her with trust again. She acknowledged that she had been a premature baby, placed in an incubator in the days of premature births. Arms reached in to feed and care for the babies, yet holding, nurturing and loving them was considered risky, and so they were left alone a lot.

The reality of this had taken its toll. She had lived her life being aloof and not at all tactile with anyone. Her proclamation had always been that she wasn’t a hugger. She tearfully thanked me, hugging me as though she was never going to let go. It was so amazing and more than sweet. I was hugged for the whole 50 years, talk about making up for lost time. I had no idea that a baby could carry a memory that would impact their life for the whole of their life.

If that wasn’t enough, I got a heartfelt email from her husband within days. He had gone out in the boat with his boys. They all sat there in their life jackets while he openly cried and told them his truth, apologizing for shutting them out all these years. They wept and hugged him. They all felt close and loving toward each other. It was a very special weekend. Their relationship had altered forever, and his cuddles with his darling wife were more than priceless.

Trust was restored in all areas for all those lovely pebbles of life in that family.

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[prettywordsyouleft]

Perception

Summary: Dealing with how you perceive yourself as Kyungsoo’s partner had never been a problem until now.

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x reader

Genre: angst / mature / fluff

Anonymous said:

If there's still time, please may I request a fluffy/mature exo oneshot where he comforts the reader when she feels she's not good enough for him? Any member you feel fits this most is fine cos I love you write them all :) thank you hun!

A/N: So I hope I read your request right, as I chose the mature route with this one instead of fluffy. I wanted to really play around with the concept of being in a relationship over time with someone you’re comfortable with, so I picked Kyungsoo to write this with. I hope you enjoy.

Word count: 1429

The feeling had grown over time.

In the beginning, you had been swept away with the romance and the surprise that Do Kyungsoo actually liked you back. It wasn’t as if your relationship was some fairytale experience where you had crushed on him forever and he finally recognised you. No, you had just met one night at a work function and from there realised you couldn’t stop thinking about each other. It wasn’t long until he had you pressed up against a wall moaning out his name as his lips travelled over your neck with the same vigour as his hands roamed your body. And from there, you had fallen into a world of passion, companionship and compromise. Kyungsoo didn’t have some magical power of making you a better person or completing you like in all the stories about love you had perused over the years. But he did make you smile whenever you saw him.

And you had been certain that would always be enough.

  You dated, you loved and you moved in together. The past two years had been challenging and rewarding in the same sense. Yet somewhere along the way, a nagging feeling started to follow you around. Perhaps it was from the way people looked at you as a couple. Kyungsoo was never bothered by other people’s opinions but you were. You didn’t like the side glances or the quiet whispers whenever you passed by on his arm. You disliked how it would make you feel, and some nights you would just stare at yourself in the mirror, trying to find the faults that others saw. Were you not beautiful enough? You had never aspired to be beautiful before, but whenever Kyungsoo’s dark gaze lingered over your curves, you felt a giddying sensation erupt within you. In his eyes, you were mirrored back as someone spectacular. Even with your extra lumps and imperfections, you still felt sexy whenever he was undressing you figuratively or literally.

Was it because he was famous and you weren’t? You had heard some of the talk, how had he fallen for someone so plain and uninspiring like you? Was Kyungsoo destined for greatness with every turn he made? Some days you started to think a stunning actress on his arm at an awards show would look far more appealing than you. It made you forgo being out in the spotlight with him, even opting to do errands when he wasn’t home.

“What are you hiding for?” he asked when he realised what you were doing and you shook your head, smiling weakly. “Y/N, you’re purposely avoiding being around me and I want to know why.��

“I’m not hiding, I just found it easier to do the errands in the week after work,” you replied, not fully meeting his gaze. The next night you had collapsed as soon as you had unpacked the groceries, forgetting to eat due to being exhausted from running around for hours after your job had ended for the day. Not sharing the load with Kyungsoo was weakening you physically as well as emotionally.

You knew Kyungsoo was too observant to take your weak excuses, and yet your stubborn ways in not telling him what the problem was only created more issues between you both. You were stuck feeling ridiculous, and yet, those insecure thoughts propelled you on, not wanting to lose the person who you now loved the most in this world because you weren’t a perfect match for him.

Yet you were facing exactly that. Because he couldn’t figure out what the problem was, soon Kyungsoo stopped arguing with you. And then the silence followed, hurting you both in the process. You would cry silently in bed beside him and you overheard him shedding some emotions when in the shower one morning. All because of a feeling, you were now becoming estranged from your partner.

Even his smiles couldn’t save you both now.

You found Kyungsoo staring at himself in the mirror early in the morning, not getting dressed in the clothing he had laid out on the bed behind him, only his briefs covering him from being naked. He continued to look at himself even when you stepped in behind him. “What are you looking at?”

“Myself.”

You nodded softly, watching his gaze scrutinise over what he saw. “Why are you looking so strangely at yourself?”

“Is this what you did to convince yourself you weren’t enough for me?”

You didn’t answer and Kyungsoo finally looked through the mirror at you. “Do you stand here telling yourself you’re not enough for me? Is that how you started all this?”

“I…”

“You know, I could do the same. After standing here long enough, I’ve found physical elements about myself that I feel uncomfortable showing anyone else apart from you.” Kyungsoo turned around then, staring at you just as intensely as he had through the looking glass. “Can you see my imperfections?”

You smiled gently. “I like your little flaws. There’s nothing wrong with you to me.”

“If I said the same back to you, would you believe me? In my eyes, you’re beautiful Y/N. I don’t want anything more than what I have with you. So why are you pulling away?”

Kyungsoo was always direct in his approach with you and whilst you appreciated knowing how he felt at all times, you chewed on your wobbling bottom lip, blinking back your emotions as if you were being scolded for being foolish.

Because you kind of had been. Even though the previous opinions had felt real and warranted at the time.

He wrapped his bare arms around you tightly, breathing you in before he continued. “Tell me when you feel insecure around me. I’ll make sure you forget about it immediately.”

You cried then, clinging to him as you let out all your emotions. You didn’t realise until then just how unjust it had all felt. The worry, the self-hatred; it had depleted you from seeing all the beauty around you both. You were with Kyungsoo because he loved you and you loved him. And you were successful too in your own walk in life. You didn’t need to be famous just to match him. You would never match him because life isn’t a perfect puzzle in the first place.

But as he held you, your body moved instinctively to the places it found most supportive, and comfortable within the embrace. Your lips shifted to the junction of his neck and shoulder, anchoring on like you always did. You fitted against him well enough, you decided.

Kyungsoo eventually shifted back, smiling at you warmly and you noticed he had gotten emotional with you. You reached up to wipe away the remnants of his tears before stretching up to kiss him softly. “I’m sorry my insecurities jeopardised us. I do trust and care about you deeply. I just got carried away with thinking about how we looked together.”

“We look great,” Kyungsoo stated, turning you around so you were both facing the mirror together. He smiled and you slowly did the same, both of your reflections looking relaxed and happy. “See how great we are? I couldn’t smile like this over anyone else, you know.”

“We do look good together.”

“And no one else needs to take this away from us, okay? They’re just jealous or incomplete with their own journey in life. People will always have something to say about others. We don’t have to buy into that though. We only need to concern ourselves with what each other think.”

“Well, I think I’m rather overdressed compared to you right now,” you mentioned slyly, reaching around to tap his bottom playfully. “You should get dressed so then we look better in the mirror together.”

Kyungsoo scooped you up in his arms and you shrieked, grabbing onto his strong shoulders to steady your balance. He smirked at you, eying your clothing in distaste. “You know, I actually think you’re overdressed too. But instead of me matching you, how about we change how many clothes are over that body of yours right now instead?”

“Weren’t we just emotional and talking about a serious issue between us?” you wondered, yet you didn’t stop Kyungsoo from pulling your dress over your head.

He nodded when he was done. “And we solved the problem we had. Now, it’s time to celebrate. There’s no better way to see how beautiful we are together than this way, Y/N.”

You chuckled before reaching up to kiss Kyungsoo, passion overriding any remaining worries you held.

_________________

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[bluerosesburnblue]

Your Jacob’s Character by @hufflepunk-asfrick and (spiritually) MC Character Challenge by @cptaincarswell (neither of whom will actually be tagged because the ship sailed on these months ago and I don’t want to clutter their notifications)

Rules: Make a collage of characters that summarize what you headcanon your MC’s brother, Jacob to be like! Tag who you want to see do this

and

Rules: Choose five characters (movie or tv show) that represent your MC/ MC’s different layers.

So uhhhhhhhhhh... here’s the thing. I was tagged in the Jacob Character Challenge by @wilhelminafujita and indirectly by @batgirl-87 a long ass time ago. I was also tagged by @batgirl-87 in the MC Character Challenge but I don’t... watch enough TV or movies to actually do that one all the way! So I’ve gone ahead and merged the two challenges into just a collage of five characters for both of them

Explanations for the choices below!

We’re going clockwise from the top of each collage

Jacob Caradoc Dwyn

Ephemer (Kingdom Hearts series)

I made a direct comparison a long time ago, but tell me if this is familiar: an overly curious boy goes missing while investigating a huge conspiracy and you spend most of the prequel mobile game he stars in hunting his ghosting ass down while he occasionally sends you vision messages

The similarities go way beyond just their roles, though. Ephemer is a big conspiracy theorist who hates not knowing things and will do whatever it takes to hunt down the truth

Most people thought he was absolutely crazy, as you do when someone tells you that they think you’re all secretly being sent into holographic simulations when you go on missions (but he was also totally right)

He’s also notoriously overconfident in combat. You meet Ephemer because he decided to take on a monster way stronger than he was and got seriously hurt. But at least he’s self-aware enough to admit it (but also... is really gung-ho about fighting things in the current arc...)

He’s a genuinely nice guy but not above needling people to get the information he wants from them

Loyal as hell to the people he cares about and protective of them. Like, he really doesn’t know your Avatar all that well but still rushes out onto a battlefield to save you and volunteers himself to go on a potentially deadly mission with you just so that you won’t have to go alone

...buuuuuuut he’s not above going off on his own without telling anyone in an attempt to keep them “safe” and then getting into serious trouble for it

Is currently having a panic attack because he was placed in charge of a gang of teenagers and has to be The Responsible One™ but clearly hates it, which is what I imagine Jacob would do if you ever made him a leader in any capacity

Messy hair and an adorable smile

Honestly it’d be easier to list the things that Jacob and Ephemer don’t have in common. I didn’t intentionally base Jacob off of him but I won’t deny that a lot of Ephemer probably influenced Jacob’s character

Sokka (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Sokka’s on here mostly due to his relationship with his little sister, Katara. Jacob’s relationship with Seren is a very strong mirror to the Southern Water Tribe siblings

He’s really smart, but because he’s also very goofy a lot of people tend to overlook just how much creativity and ingenuity he brings to the table

No, Sokka’s seriously one of the smartest members of the cast. There’s a reason they call him “the ideas guy.” He knows when to get serious and break out the logic and reason. It’s never stopped him from being a loud, boisterous goofball, though

Cursed by the universe to a lifetime of misfortune

Sokka is very loyal and protective to his younger sister, but because she’s generally more emotionally measured it comes across like she’s taking care of him. And he knows that and really loves her for it, but it just makes him want to take care of her more, since that should be his job

They bicker a lot, but in the end they’re completely inseparable

Ellie (Up)

A bit of an unorthodox choice, but Ellie really is the physical embodiment of Jacob’s excitement to travel and Hufflepuff hard-working nature in a lot of ways

Ellie has huge dreams of exploring distant lands and she goes at it with such gusto that it’s completely infectious

Some people would argue that it’s overwhelming, but Ellie doesn’t really care about their opinion. She’s doing it for her own satisfaction!

When she falls in love with Carl, her goal changes to having both of them go on the trip together in much the same way that Jacob would really prefer traveling with his precious little sister, Seren, than by himself because they’re a team

She saves up her whole life for this trip. She never once gives up on it entirely. Despite the setbacks, despite the fact that she passed away before ever even accomplishing her goal, she was always working towards that great adventure

Sherlock Holmes (Ace Attorney Series - The Great Ace Attorney/Dai Gyakuten Saiban)

I am... so glad that I didn’t make this until after the fan translation for DGS came out because hoooooooo boy does Ace Attorney Sherlock give me mad Jacob Dwyn vibes

(I was always going to make Jacob a huge Sherlock Holmes fan so this worked out way too perfectly)

Ace Attorney Sherlock is legitimately very perceptive and good at picking up on minute details, but because he’s so overzealous about his detective work he has a tendency to jump to conclusions a little too fast and usually ends up having to be redirected by his more calm partner

Once you get him on the right track, though, he’s an unstoppable crime-solving machine (with the bonus ability of being really damn good at sleight-of-hand stuff)

He’s also hugely eccentric. Would Jacob Dwyn just hang from the wall by a hook while wearing an expensive tiara for the hell of it during an investigation? Ooooooh yes

Jacob’s a lot less wildly inaccurate, though, because he does genuinely want to solve the crimes to the best of his ability

I am absolutely certain that Jacob wouldn’t hesitate to tell everyone he knows about all of the mysteries he’s solved with his sister because guys. Guys it was so cool. Yes, I am THE Jacob Dwyn of the Dwyn Detective Agency please pay attention to my cool job

Sherlock is a Good Dad and Jacob is a Good Brother. Case Closed.

Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Marvel Cinematic Universe - Ant Man)

By this point you should be seeing a pattern. Smart, creative guy who’s also pretty goofy who has a younger female character that he loves greatly

Scott, though, isn’t above doing a lot of really sneaky stuff and taking unscrupulous jobs to get to his (admittedly pretty noble) goals. He adds that slight bit of moral edge we were missing from the Jacob equation. Not much, but some

Like I just think of the scene where Scott uses a bunch of creative methods to break into Pym’s house. Methods that require a lot of knowledge of security systems and science

He also does not let the rules stop him from doing what he thinks is right. It’s how he ended up in prison in the first place

Jacob Dwyn would unironically get very excited about a “Time Heist” and you can’t convince me otherwise

Also, the snark and quips. Can’t forget that Jacob’s an incorrigible sarcastic doofus

What can I say? Scott’s undying loyalty to his daughter matches Jacob’s undying loyalty for his sister perfectly

(We are all very lucky that Jacob wants to solve crimes because he would be way too good at doing crimes)

Seren Aisling Dwyn

Saoirse (Song of the Sea)

It wouldn’t have been right to make this list without including one of the characters that inspired Jacob and Seren in the first place and Seren fit Saoirse better than Jacob fit her brother, Ben

Song of the Sea is an Irish film about the two kids of a Selkie mother and a human father, who hides their heritage from them when their mother disappears (note: Jacob and Seren’s mom does not disappear). This hidden heritage causes Saoirse a lot of physical problems (i.e. rendering her mute, making her physically grow weaker the longer she’s apart from her seal’s coat), just like Seren’s hidden Siren heritage causes her to completely fail to address her additional needs that leads to a lot of unintentional illness in her Hogwarts years

Ben and Saoirse have to try and get back home so that Saoirse can sing the Song of the Sea and sent the Fair Folk home. That’s where I got the idea for Jacob and Seren to go wandering off alone as kids and encountering a bunch of magical creatures during their adventures from

Ben totally hated Saoirse until later in the movie, which inspired Jacob hating Seren after she’s born but warming up to her in a few months

Personality-wise, Saoirse may look sweet and quiet, but she’s a huge ball of sass. It’s just easy to miss because she only conveys it in her facial expressions, which is something that Seren’s always done, too

She also doesn’t follow their grandmother’s rules well. She’ll go along with things to a point, but the second she doesn’t agree she’ll strike off on her own and get it done by herself despite how tiny she is

(A lot of younger!Seren was inspired by Saoirse)

When given the opportunity to leave with the Faeries and her mother, she chooses to stay behind with her brother and father because she loves them, and while Seren isn’t fond of either of her parents, she would stay behind for Jacob

Yew Geneolgia (Bravely Second)

Okay... look, I promise that I didn’t just base Seren off of Yew because I made her before finishing Bravely Second but...

Playing Bravely Second was an experience after making Seren

So my boy Yew Geneolgia is the youngest member of a noble and prestigious house, was never expecting to inherit it because he had an older (half-)brother so he went to magic school and ended up being, like, the smartest student there, to the point where they had to give him a secret special ranking on the school ranking system because he was tooooo smart at magic (*cough* Seren singlehandedly winning the House Cup every year *cough*)

Of course their father doesn’t want to let Yew’s brother inherit anything because he’s not a pureblood noble (and the Dwyn siblings aren’t pureblood wizards). Yew’s brother disappears hunting down a sword in order to earn his way back into the family

Yew goes hunting the sword down to try and bring his brother home and surprise surprise it’s CURSED

(The Geneolgia siblings are not a perfect match to the Dwyn siblings but there are a LOT of similar elements there)

After his brother goes missing again after finding Yew with the cursed sword, Yew decides that he’s just going to try and be his older brother by taking up his place as a swordsman despite sucking at it. In Year 4, Seren decides that everyone just wants Jacob and not her, so she starts modeling herself after him more until she can’t keep it up anymore in late Year 5

So a small, young magic nerd who’s extremely awkward in social situations whose story revolves around a missing older brother that they attempt to emulate, unsuccessfully

Also, Yew is the one making all of the Bestiary entries. He’s clearly got an interest in Zoological stuff and he’s a very good artist since he does all of the illustrations in there, too

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How to Train Your Dragon Series)

Hey speaking of Zoology did you know that Seren was into Magizoology and is very good at befriending creatures? It’s true!

Seren in her early years at Hogwarts is very similar to Hiccup from the first film. She’s shy, but undeniably witty and sarcastic. Her self-confidence is extremely low because she keeps getting compared to more successful family members. Her strengths come from her intelligence and being able to look at things from angles others might not, like extending empathy to creatures that most would hate

She’d never be able to hurt a dragon like Toothless come on. He’s too cute. Too sweet

As she gets older she still matches up with Hiccup, though. He finds himself being thrust into a leadership position and having to adjust, but doing so gracefully and with emotional maturity in much the same way that Seren steps up to lead the Cursed Vault crew when she needs to

You have to be pretty fearless to step up to a dragon that could bite your head off and then learn to fly on it, and when it comes down to it Seren is just as fearless in anything that is not a social interaction

I’m sorry, did I just hear SELF-SACRIFICIAL TENDENCIES? Why yes, yes I do believe that I did

And Hiccup will never, ever give up on Toothless no matter what. No matter what the dragon does (or is forced to do in the second film). Just like Seren will never give up on Jacob. No matter the cost

Ema Skye (Ace Attorney Series - Apollo Justice)

I know that Ema was in Spirit of Justice, too, but I don’t know anything about that one so I’m only covering her appearances chronologically up to Apollo Justice

I didn’t realize until watching someone’s blind playthrough of Apollo Justice recently just how much Seren was like Ema

So Ema starts off strong already as A Very Devoted Little Sister who absolutely refuses to believe that her older sister is guilty of a crime despite her sister confessing to it

(She ended up being right and her sister was blackmailed into covering it up which was honestly my default situation for the Dwyn siblings before the Portrait Vault chapter came out. Ema’s sister was being blackmailed with evidence that could implicate Ema with murder, Jacob would have been blackmailed with Seren’s safety. Which is still true, I suppose, but we’ll see how this holds up later)

She’s very passionate about forensic science in the same way that I imagine Seren can be in her own interests like Magizoology and later on the development of forensic magic

Almost a decade later, though, and Ema is... super jaded and grouchy. She’s sarcastic and kinda rude, but lights up again if you get her talking about her interests

She also doesn’t have her dream job but is instead... a detective. though Seren’s a lot more content as a detective than Ema is because she’s got Jacob and a license to do creature-related cases

But just the progression from the innocent kid to the jaded adult detective is... such a good match that I just had to put Ema in here

Katara (Avatar the Last Airbender)

And just like Jacob had Sokka, Seren gets Katara to round it off

There might be something to be said about the Southern Water Tribe siblings and the Dwyn Siblings both being linked to water as an element

I already covered a lot of this in Jacob’s section, but they have a similar dynamic

Katara is a Mom Friend extraordinaire who obsessively takes care of everyone in the group, even when it’s not her place to. A lot of them find it overbearing sometimes

While she’s generally fairly mature and level-headed, when she gets mad she gets absolutely furious and cannot be stopped until she’s satisfied

“You can’t knock me down!” is such an iconic line and very much embodies Seren’s stubbornness and determination to get back up and keep trying no matter what

She loves her brother. She’s not above criticizing him or the occasional jab, but she also knows when to give him credit for the incredibly smart things that he does. Nobody will defend him quite as hard as she will when she has to

The lovable, goofy, intelligent, protective older brother and the equally intelligent, mature, caring, stubborn younger sister. There’s no better way to describe the Dwyn Siblings than that

[jacksgreysays]

Who do you think would handle knowing the original timeline's future best, not just in DoS, but in your other works, too? I say original timeline in large part because surely even someone who wouldn't want to would still find themselves making changes, right?

I’m going to assume you mean Naruto canon when you say original timeline, because otherwise to go through all of my fandoms would be O_O

I think there’s a difference in handling the knowledge in an internal/emotional way vs handling the knowledge in an external/make-changes kind of way. The first largely depends on how a person finds out–whether it’s something that, in the case of DoS, Shikako tells them or, somehow they find out from, like, a vision from beyond or a canon character dimension travelling and exposition dumping from there–whereas the second depends on their resources (whether they even have the ability to make changes on a significant scale) and personality (whether they would even want to.

Like, I’ve mentioned previously that Shino would make a good confidante for Shikako, not because he would particularly make a lot of changes, but because he would, if not believe Shikako immediately, then at the very least accept the knowledge with a certain level of proof (which is easy enough considering the Aburame’s history with Danzo.) So he’d be the first type of “handling” the knowledge of canon.

All that being said… I kinda want to do both for all of them mostly because this prompt would help me further conceptualize characters in a way I hadn’t considered before. So, both Emotional Handling and Influential Handling for DoS, Externality, (In)Difference, and Counterpoise? Hm, if there’s another series you’re interesting in, lionhead, just let me know and I can add that later.

Dreaming of Sunshine:

Emotional Handling - I’m going to stick with Shino for this one, actually. Regardless of if he finds out from Shikako or from some other means. Second place I would say Ibiki, but I’m reluctant to do even that much because of my own fanon that Ibiki and Yoshino are BFFs so he probably would be second hand messed up by the changes of Yoshino’s family composition.

Influential Handling - I don’t know if there is a singular person I would say is best for this, but the ones I’m thinking of all have a certain… flavor to them. In no particular order: Iruka, Ibiki, Aoba, and Shizune. And the thing they all have in common is that they have influence within the village but not the combat prowess to handle S-rank nin by themselves. So they would have to make changes with a softer touch. Would Iruka emotionally handle canon knowledge well? NO WAY. But he is in the position to not only influence Naruto (and other former students) directly but also to affect administrative decisions. Also, Danzo would never think of Iruka as a threat.

Ibiki, Aoba, and Shizune would probably handle the knowledge with better grace than Iruka, but they don’t have that direct connection with the kids that Iruka does. And this could be a positive and a negative, but they’re all also better than Iruka combat wise so they may be tempted to make changes in person which may cause them to bite off more than they can chew.

—

Externality:

So the thing about Externality is that even I haven’t decided whether or not Tetsuki knows about canon, or how–was Naruto a manga in the KHR world or can she perceive the canon version of the world in her dreams?–so I’m going to exclude her for now.

Emotional Handling - Weirdly enough, I think Naruto would handle it best. Not because he would use it, but because he would be galvanized into doing better. Whether that means keeping Sasuke in Konoha or being a better teammate to Tetsuki and Komadori or making sure to protect the people he couldn’t save in canon. Although, I suppose it depends on WHEN he gets the knowledge. Like, if he gets it before the canon graduation time, then it’s unprovable and basically a really weird dream to him–why would he be on a team without Tetsuki and Komadori?–but if its after canon graduation time, that is, after a genin-for-a-year Naruto gets put on a team with recent graduates Sasuke and Sakura, then he might take it as a challenge.

Influential Handling - Ibiki, Aoba, and Shizune for the same reasons as in DoS–since Externality is in a similar vein of OC–but instead of Iruka, since he isn’t the teacher for Testuki, Komadori, and Team Gai’s year, I would add Anko to the list.

Specifically after Tetsuki has joined Intel/T&I. Well, I mean, Anko knowing about Orochimaru’s future movements is already pretty good influence-wise (although, I’m concerned that Konoha would be “concerned” about how she got that information) but if it’s after Tetsuki has joined Intel/T&I and become Anko’s kouhai then Anko will know that she can use Tetsuki to act on her behalf as well as passing Orochimaru’s future movements along to Ibiki and such.

And I guess, for similar reasons, Tsunade would be good but only after she’s already become Hokage. Because her hands are tied as far as throwing down directly with Akatsuki since she has a damn village to run, but she’ll know that Tetsuki is a piece on the board that she can use in a myriad of ways.

—

(In)Difference

Since Kiyoshi definitely knows about canon and is trying her utmost to not get involved during her first decade and a half, then doing an abrupt 180 and getting overly involved in specific people’s lives, I’m going to exclude her.

This probably won’t make much sense given I haven’t actually written enough of (In)Difference to have a firm timeline and, unlike Externality and Counterpoise, it doesn’t follow the usual stations of canon. Which brings up the main point: except for a few flashback type situations, most of canon happens decades in the future. Any changes, even minute, will have massive consequences. Additionally, in a way, it’s harder to prove but easier to stomach so… hm… let’s see…

Emotional Handling - When they’re younger, genin/chuunin age or so, Orochimaru would handle it best. Not because he really believes Kiyoshi (if it is, indeed, coming from Kiyoshi) but because on the unlikely chance that it is true then he is still capable of course-correcting. Also, if he was, as I suspect, Nawaki’s jounin-sensei (or captain, if we’re going with wartime terminology) then being able to prevent his death–which Kiyoshi somehow does–will help a lot in keeping him sane and not completely evil.

Team White Fang would also handle it okay but only as a team. I don’t know why I feel certain about this, but, I dunno, they’re 2/3 my characters so there.

Influential Handling - Actually, all of the above wouldn’t be too bad in terms of influencing things. Orochimaru, obviously, just has to not be a complete sociopath and never work with Danzo (or, even, just kill Danzo outright) and already he’ll make the future a better place. And Team White Fang is either A) Sakumo, father of Kakashi who is in line to affect ALL the things or B+C) a shape-shifter and genjutsu mistress. So, not too hard to make changes. But I think the BEST person to make changes might be Nawaki.

Because just him being alive would mean so much in terms of Senju presence. And even if he doesn’t have Wood Release (but which I’ve written that he does so…) what his continued existence means for Tsunade and Kushina personally (who can then influence Naruto directly or not). Or what his continued existence might mean for the Uchiha clan… I suppose it’s more a potential of influence than actual influence, I guess.

—

Counterpoise

Konran definitely doesn’t know about canon. Immediately I know she would emotionally handle it the worst, because basically it’s a world in which her twin brother isn’t even a twin or a brother. Here comes an existential crisis. Because she’d emotionally handle it the worst, I’d be reluctant to predict how she’d handle it influentially. Obviously she’s in position to influence Naruto most directly, but will she want to? Will she do so in a positive way? I don’t know.

Emotional Handling - Zakuro. Hands down. I considered Ringo, because of the two Ringo is the “calmer” one, but then I realized: he’s a medic. He’s a taijutsu using medic. He’s as pacifistic and selfless as a shinobi can be. If he did believe the canon knowledge, however he got it, he would view all the deaths in canon and try his best to prevent them and only destroy himself.

Zakuro, in contrast, is a genjutsu and trap specialist. He knows that perception is more important than reality and for all his brash personality, he can be patient. Traps don’t always get sprung–it’s about preparing for possibilities, not getting directly involved. Zakuro wouldn’t lose himself to the knowledge. He’d take it, absorb it, learn from it, adapt.

The only hitch in this is that he wouldn’t want to keep the knowledge a secret from his teammates, but given their personalities, he would have to. So it’s not the knowledge itself that he would have trouble handling.

But to be clear, Zakuro is ony best at emotional handling. He’s not really in a position to make significant enough changes, for all that he has the mindset to do it.

Influential Handling - … the three people who I think could best utilize the knowledge and make changes are also the three people (besides Konran and Naruto) who would emotionally handle the knowledge poorly. Ringo is one of them–because for all he is the same rank as Zakuro, he does have sort of bonds with both Obito, though he doesn’t really know it, and Kakashi, and if he can figure out how to leverage said bonds he can mitigate a lot of suffering on their and everyone’s parts.

The other two are Kakashi and Jiraiya. The reason why I didn’t bring them up in previous series is because the nature of canon vs Counterpoise is a missing Uzumaki child. Minato’s child. And yes, it’s true, that shouldn’t be such a big deal seeing as how they they ignored Naruto in canon. But I wonder how much of that was the Sandaime’s terribad “don’t discuss the Kyuubi even though everyone and their monkey summons know about it” and how much of that was the village plausibly denying Naruto’s heritage.

So DoS brings up how Naruto could have been named Uzumaki because of his jinchuuriki status not because he’s actually related to Kushina. Additionally I’ve read somewhere that some people thought Naruto took Minato’s appearance because the Kyuubi was being deliberately cruel and kitsune are all about shapeshifting (which is why Naruto’s specialty before kage bushin is henge). And also, while I don’t know how canonical this is, there’s the idea floating around that Minato and Kushina kept the pregnancy a secret so enemy villages couldn’t find out and such. So, like, the village could have just been handwaving the obvious connections between Naruto and his parents. And because Kakashi and Jiraiya don’t get involved with him, there’s nothing to contradict that.

But Konran doesn’t have the Kyuubi. Konran has bright red hair and goes by the name Uzumaki. Konran is so undeniably Kushina’s child that there is no handwaving this away. It’s for this reason that I’m kind of playing around with the idea that the Cloud ambassador tried to kidnap Konran in addition to/instead of Hinata (which also explains why Konran becomes so desperate to keep her hair hidden when she’s a genin).

Anyway. That incident and the lack of plausible deniability means that Kakashi and Jiraiya kind of have to get involved and canon knowledge would only help them if they would get off their asses and do something. Don’t get me wrong, love the characters. But they are capable of making great change, they just need a massive shove to do so.

~

A/N: Uh… that got long and rant-y towards the end. Hopefully this was what you were looking for, lionheadbookends, and if not feel free to send another ask my way :)

Ask Box Advent Calendar is now open!

[dayntee]

[Pillars: Deadfire] Frigid Nightmares

This whole thing came about as a result of me accidentally wandering into the Beast of Winter DLC and being WHOLLY unprepared for it (IE getting my ass utterly handed to me). After rolling back a fair notch, I’ve continued on, but I also tried to mentally justify the detour, backtrack, and continued exploration of the Deadfire and this... whatever it is, is what resulted. 

Summary: Ydwin’s insistence on investigating the invitation from Rymrgand’s faithful rubs Aloth the wrong way; his consciousness (both his own and a suppressed Iselmyr) pulls him in two directions. Should he follow his captain’s orders or push an agenda that’s more personal than he’s willing to admit?

Rating: PG-13, for some depicted gruesome violence

Relationships: Aloth x F!Watcher (unspoken/unresolved, ANGST AHOY)

Spoilers: Deadfire, Beast of Winter DLC (light)

Notes: Still finding Idralia’s accent, but it’s Aedyran with a Deadfire dull to it. Writing it out is almost as challenging as speaking it on stream. Imagine it landing somewhere between Aloth’s mid-Atlantic and Serafin’s super casual pirate cadence. And then trying not to make it sound Dyrwoodan. 

Also available here on AO3

A curled, familiar piece of tanned leather suddenly appeared before Idralia’s face. As she gently pushed it aside, the stern glare of Ydwin appeared from behind it, decisively reaching up with her spare hand to adjust her glasses on the bridge of her nose. 

“Watcher. You’ve had this invitation for weeks. Do you have any intention of investigating its source?” 

Idralia reached up and removed her eye patch, rubbing the protected eye for a moment as it re-adjusted back to the dim light below decks. She had no medical need for the patch, but her experience as a sharpshooter on the high seas had long since taught her the value in keeping an eye dim for travelling above and below deck. She preferred, however, to meet her companions with both eyes when discussing matters of import.

“Of course I do. I’d like to think that in the time you’ve been aboard The Defiant, you’ve noticed I‘m a woman of my word,” she took the missive from Ydwin’s insistent grasp, re-reading the contents over again. The thin, jagged writing in red disconcerted her; things were weird enough on the ship with Xoti’s slow descent into constant bloodlust and a growing tension between herself and Aloth that sailing to the furthest southern reaches to freeze her arse off didn’t seem like a logical next step. “There’s just, you know, this whole matter of Eothas destroying the Deadfire by wading through it like a toddler’s bathing pool, a stack of unclaimed bounties that’re honestly starting to rot, and the needs of our other compatriots to attend to. We’re sort of a busy lot,” 

Ydwin said nothing, crossing her arms and staring intently until Idralia met her gaze again. Once she did, the scout felt a prickling in her senses at the back of her mind as she felt the cipher reach out to her mentally.

And is that to say that my own concerns or interests are not as important as theirs? she questioned, and Idralia winced at the implication. Ydwin had largely been confined to the ship since she had first boarded in Neketaka, and that had been even several more weeks prior to the receipt of the mysterious invitation from whomever this “Vatnir” was. She simply shook her head and she could feel the bubbling frustration from the pale elf. 

“Really wish you wouldn’t do that. It’s not necessary. Listen, I don’t know how much time I have left. I could die tomorrow from this whole splintered soul thing for all I know. It’s like... I don’t know what it’s like, I’m not sure anyone else out there has wandered about with only half of themselves,” she screwed her face in her own frustration, trying to make sense of her rapid string of thoughts. 

This is why I do this. You are conflicted and trying to take on too much. Slow down. Focus on this for a while - perhaps a focused distraction will allow you to more easily sort out your... other priorities. Idralia picked up on the hesitation of thought in Ydwin’s message, but before she could ask for clarification, the cipher had turned abruptly on her heel to exit the captain’s quarters. She dropped her face into a hand, rubbing at the bridge of her own nose and pushing upward to relieve pressure she’d been harboring in her sinuses—missing the unapologetic brush of shoulders between Ydwin and Aloth as he made his way in. 

Aloth cast a glance Ydwin’s way as she pushed past him with no sign of hesitation. While he held respect for Ydwin’s pursuit of knowledge in the metaphysics, her unapologetic approach to animancy rubbed him the wrong way. ‘No matter,’ he supposed, turning his attention back to the distracted Watcher.

It was clear to him for quite some time now that Idralia had been holding back the discussion regarding the nature of their friendship. While he still wasn’t certain he was ready to broach the topic himself, he did recognize she was respecting a boundary she had set years ago with him and he admired her diligence. Catching himself staring, he cleared his throat, and the woman snapped to attention, straightening in her desk chair and dropping a roll of leather to the floor, where it began to rock slowly with the listing of the ship. Aloth bent and picked up the missive before Idralia had fully regained her awareness, and his eyes skimmed its contents before he could stop himself.

“Ah - the Dead Floe is our next course then, captain?” he used the title playfully and enjoyed the pink that traveled up her ears at his use of it. Idralia wasn’t a fan of the title, particularly when used by her former adventuring party. With the plethora of time she had spent teasing him on their previous adventures, he found he was beginning to appreciate turning the tables. 

“Oh, w-well,” she stuttered a moment, regaining her composure with a deep breath before dropping her tricorn unceremoniously on the desk and relaxing in his company. Even when he did catch her off guard, she never took long to return to her more confident, certain bearing. “I think that would be Ydwin’s preference. I’ve been... having trouble focusing on one task at a time, and she requested her own interests take a priority for a time. I s'pose that’s not much different than taking a detour to Ori o Koiki, right?”

Aloth hummed an agreement and nodded. She had a point; it would be rather obvious favoritism if she weren’t equally willing to investigate the needs of their other companions. ‘An’ yet ye dinnae mine a thot ye might be th’ importan one, aye?’ Iselmyr bubbled from deep within his psyche, cackling all the while he silently pushed her back down. Opportunities to poke and prod at his most insecure feelings—that was often the most likely times his elder ego would make herself heard. At least her thoughts rarely, if ever, spilled from his mouth these days.

“That seems fair, to say the least. Still,” he hesitated, and Idralia re-focused her attention on him. 

“Tell me your thoughts, Aloth. You know I trust your opinion,” he felt a smile twitch at the side of his mouth, knowing full well how much she valued his council. It was odd to him that someone who was so certain in her actions would seek insight from someone as unsure as he was; oft before she’d claimed it was because she valued how very differently he perceived the world. As he grew to know her, however, he suspected it was because they were more alike than either cared to admit and he reaffirmed her beliefs rather than than questioned them. 

“Something about it simply seems... off. But I suppose that could be my predisposition for distrust in theological cults with extreme beliefs,” he gave a slight shrug and Idralia laughed. 

“You kind of have good reason to be suspicious. Maybe all the more reason to check this out sooner rather than later,” she waved off the notion and stood with a stretch. “Never mind all that, though, I doubt you came in here to talk about Ydwin. What do you need, Aloth?” she hipped her hand and gave him that carefree smile, the one that made him believe without a doubt she knew exactly where she was going, how she was going to get there, and reaffirmed his decision in tagging along on her adventures. 

In that moment, his heart skipped a beat and, just like that, his resolve was gone again. Logically, he knew better. Fear of rejection was ridiculous because he already knew she harbored feelings for him—she’d more or less confirmed that within hours of his rejoining her group. Emotionally though, there was the fear of hurting her, of breaking her heart... now that was a fate to which he was terrified he might find himself. It was his turn to backpedal. 

“A-ah, oh, I-I’m... afraid you’ve preemptively answered my inquiry. I was merely wondering where we might be sailing to next,” he attempted to shrug nonchalantly once more, but he knew she was far too perceptive to ignore the stiffness in his shoulders and forced movement. She smiled, a sad sort of resignation in her eyes, and she scooped up her eye patch and cap from the desk before moving up to place her other hand on his shoulder. 

“Another time then,” she promised quietly, and his bare shoulder burned with the absence of her warmth as she moved past, donning her headgear once more and moving above deck.

‘Ya bullocksed tha’ one, Corfiser,’ he felt the mockery wave through again and this time he allowed Iselmyr to chide him. Quite frankly, he felt he deserved it. "Not like ye kin run afar offa ship, ye dafty,” he found himself muttering alone, and he bit the inside of his cheek to quell the bubbling criticisms, lest another crew mate overhear. He had maintained fair control of Iselmyr and, even if in this matter she was right, he wasn’t about to let it go again. 

Sighing, he returned below decks, settling himself in his bunk where he might distract his thoughts with his latest grimoire acquisition or simply drift off. Anywhere he could be without thoughts that rang too true.

“It’s casting again! Aloth, can you sto-” Idralia’s command was lost the moment she was blown back by a blast of bitter cold and hail. Already, Ydwin, Xoti, and Cantelope all lay unconscious at the feet of the gargantuan rotting beast, its rancid wings flapping languidly amidst the biting cold winds of the Dead Floe. Idralia’s bow skidded several feet away from her grasp across the icy ground, and it took every last bit of Aloth’s concentration to maintain the spell he was forming. His arcane reserves were burning low, and he only had a handful of spells remaining that seemed to have any effect on the lumbering so-called Herald of Rymrgand. Even Idralia’s normally fearsome powerful shots were barely penetrating its frozen hide. 

Idralia scrambled through the snow, scraping away her eye patch to rely on her full sight, squinting against the bright sky as she adjusted to the sudden influx of light. She whirled about on the ground, bringing up her warbow with both hands just a huge claw came down to attempt to crush her into the ground. She managed to prop it between her and the dragon, straining against an impossible strength, and Aloth knew there was only a moment more he might take advantage of the distraction that could save all their lives—or doom them all.

“Athek werthan roth!” with emphasis, he finished the last fiery incantation he had remaining, watching the fireball form around the rear of the beast and scorching its back flank. ‘It’s not enough!’ he panicked, and the first crunch he heard following the explosion was not half as sickening as the second.

Idralia screamed in pain, one of the dragon’s huge claws pinning her to the ground through nearly the whole of her left shoulder, her leather armor easily sundered and barely enough skin and sinew remaining to keep her arm attached to her torso. Her left fingers spasmed out with raw nerve stimulation, her right hand coming up to grasp the splintered remains of her family heirloom, the only item of purchase she could find. Blood pooled below her, vibrant against the stark white below.

“IDRALIA, NO!” was all Aloth could manage before he was immediately weaving another spell, this time an unerring Minoletta’s. But the enemy was faster yet, unnaturally so, as it slammed a backhanded claw into Eder’s shield, sending the Dyrwoodan man flying back into the remains of the ice sculpture of Rymrgand, his head knocking violently against the pedestal and stilling him at the base.

“A-Aloth,” the elf barely heard his name over the harsh whistling, and he dared to look once more in the direction of the one he had truly come to care for, despite his reticence in letting her know. And there it was. That knowing smile. The one that would normally warm his heart instead sank it deep within his chest, settling in his stomach where he doubted it would ever rise again. 

‘I can’t save them,’ he realized, the spell he was finishing fizzling in his grasp as another claw came down around his captain’s body, covering it from his view, but not without causing a gruesome splatter. His stomach churned and he looked away, knowing his distance from the fight simply meant he would be the last to join them.

He swore the dragon began to chuckle as it inhaled again, filling its chest with frozen air intended to erase him from existence. This foe was just too strong. As once more the icy chill of snow and hail began to rain around him, numbing his core, he was left only with that failure. ‘I can’t save her,”  

He awoke drenched in sweat, a stark contrast from the chill of the nightmare that was rapidly escaping his mind. He was breathing sharply, and pushed his grimoire from his chest, a heavy thud hitting the deck below that caused him to wince. Thankfully, he realized none of the light sleepers were present, with Eder heavily snoring in the hammock below his and Serafin’s smaller form curled up in a cot across the way.

‘A quick walk then,’ he wiped his brow with his blanket, nimbly exiting his hammock and replacing his grimoire among his other belongings before heading above deck, taking his time to avoid eye contact with any of the other crew he happened by. 

“Bad dreams takin’ to you too, Aloth?” Xoti echoed from the hall as he climbed upward, and he tried not to startle at the sudden acknowledgement. She was always where you never expected these days, and it was rapidly becoming disconcerting.

“AAH, ah, yes. You could say that,” he looked anywhere but her eyes as she loomed forward with interest, the soft and eerie glow of her lantern brightening as she grew closer. She unhooked it from her belt and peered within, as though seeking some answer from it, before eyeing him once more.

“They haunt me too. Every night. I wonder if I’ll ever get a proper sleep again...” she chuckled suddenly, as if in on her own joke. “But of course I will. When Gaun’s done with me, that is,” 

“W-well. We can’t all hope for divine intervention. I’ll just be getting some fresh air,” he brusquely shut down the conversation, desiring little more insight to the demons that undoubtedly haunted the Dawnstar priestess, and deeply hoping either she or the Watcher had that situation under control. Xoti shrugged and Aloth quickly exited, closing the door to below decks quite firmly behind him. 

It was just past midnight, partially cloudy, which allowed his eyes to adjust quickly to the deep nighttime sky. He took a deep breath, exhaling just as purposefully and noted the fog caused by his warm breath in the air. ‘We’re heading south,’ he acknowledged, and he shuddered, in part due to the chilly night as well as from the lingering horrors of his dreams.

“Can’t sleep?” he heard from above, and he didn’t bother glancing up. Idralia often spent her time in the rigging or crow’s nest when she wasn’t in her quarters. He hadn’t fully expected to find her out here at this hour, but then her proclivity for wearing a patch often meant she stretched her eyes in the dark rather than the light. 

“I slept well enough, but...” he shook his head. It was a dream, for gods sakes. Divination wasn’t his strong suit or a personally strong belief, particularly after learning the mortal nature of the so-called deities. Surely, dreams could hold meaning, but why would the divine ever reveal a truth to him when they could speak directly to the Watcher?

He heard a gentle thump as Idralia dropped down behind him, and he leaned against the railing of the ship, looking out and anywhere but at her. The memories, even if they were imagined, were still too fresh. Thankfully, she didn’t press, leaning backwards into the railing instead so that they might not need to meet eye to eye.

“You know, I’m not fond of the cold. Hate it, actually. Winter’s my least favorite season,” she wrinkled her nose. “Part of why I like the Deadfire so much. Stick in the right parts and it’s pleasant year-round,” 

“I find it hard to believe that pirates, sea monsters, ghost ships, and conniving bureaucrats are that much better than a bit of snow and wind,” he replied, thankful for the distraction in conversation.

“A whole lot more exciting at any rate. Your ship gets frozen and there winds up being not much to do but sit around. I prefer to keep moving,” he could see the hint of a smile on her lips from the corner of her sight, and he smirked in response.

“Is that why we’ve been everywhere around the Deadfire except Magran’s Teeth?” she laughed uneasily at the question and turned slowly to face out to the water, her smile more sheepish now.

“You’ve got me. There’s a lot I want to end, especially this whole half-a-soul situation, but...” she grew quiet, contemplative, and he saw her glance his way again. Still, he could not meet her eyes. “But not everything,” she finished quietly, and he understood there was so much more unsaid behind her statement. 

That moment hung between them a while, the two listening to the waves hit the side of the ship, the creak of the wood and rigging, the flap of the canvas sails in the night breeze. It centered both of them in different ways and, for a moment, he was back on the roads of the Dyrwood with her, when they might instead be listening to the crackle of the campfire and the crickets in the countryside. 

“Well,” he started, after a time, “I think there’s still quite a lot we have left to do. And we don’t have to start with the coldest tasks first,” he finally turned his head to look at her, and she met his eyes. He smiled gently, encouragingly, and she chuckled.

“What, tell Ydwin to wait her turn?” she sighed, and he could tell she bore the weight of responsibility to her crew and their needs.

“The choice is ultimately yours. You’re the captain, after all—we’re all going to go where you take us,” he reasoned. “Certainly you might need to approach things with more focus but... perhaps consider that focus should be on something for you.” 

Idralia looked at him with a more startled glance and she studied his face for a moment. After a while, she closed her eyes, turned her head back out over the water, and sighed. 

“You give good advice, Aloth. Perhaps I shouldn’t get ahead of myself on this one... and honestly, those bounties actually are starting to rot,” 

“I mean, I wasn’t going to bring it up, but...”

“But they’re stored in a chest below Tekehu’s bunk and you don’t mind his quiet torment?” she winked at him and he suppressed a smile in spite of himself. 

“Even I’m not that cruel,” he raised his hands helplessly and Idralia gave him a gentle shove. 

“Alright, you’ve made your point. I think we’ve got quite a bit to report on back at Neketaka. And honestly... I could use a dip in the bath house again. I doubt the crew would fight me much on that one,” she reasoned, and they both knew full well a shore leave would be well-received. 

“I’ll never be one to complain,” Aloth reassured and Idralia returned a smug grin. ‘Oh no,’ He walked into this one, and he knew it.

She leaned in close, uncomfortably close, and murmured.

“You’ve never been one to complain about a good view, Corfiser,” 

Without giving him so much as a second to sputter in protest, she pushed herself from the railing and headed to the door below decks, casting a last sidelong glance at him to enjoy the bewildered look on his face. The night was too dark to catch the beet red blush across his cheeks, spreading onward to the tips of his ears, but he hardly doubted she needed the visual confirmation of his discomfort. They knew each other far too well. 

He let her close the door behind her before he sighed to himself, sinking his hot face in his hands down against the railing until he felt the cool wooden surface on his forehead. ‘I’ve avoided one catastrophe,’ he reassured himself, though he wasn’t so certain his nightmare was anything more than the feverish imagination of his innate worrywart. 

‘But what else am I walking into?’ he wondered, knowing with growing certainty he couldn’t keep this awkward dance of theirs going on forever.

[ninawritesastory]

Kenny Headcanons

Since it’s Kenny’s birthday, I figured now would be as good a time as any to post some headcanons I have about him.

- Kenny has issues with financial security, so throughout middle school and high school he works three to four semi-steady sort of jobs and takes on a number of by-contract type of jobs. The semi-steady jobs are: waiter/busboy at City Wok, newspaper delivery, farmhand at Farmer Bill’s, and seasonal work picking fruit/veggies at local orchards/farms. The by-contract jobs can range from fake dating to fixing bikes to landscaping, and Kenny develops a wide and diverse skill set.

- He saves up at least half of every paycheck he gets and rotates between three separate funds: Karen’s college fund, the apartment/house fund, and his own college fund.

- Throughout college (and the rest of his life), Kenny is constantly diversifying his income sources. They range from ordinary jobs to online ventures to babysitting to stocks to eventually opening several of his own businesses (each in a different niche). He does a lot of freelance writing and journalism, and becomes pretty good with a camera in order to increase his profitability.

- Kenny spends a LOT of time on teach-yourself type websites. He watches a shit-ton of tutorials on YouTube and the like, reads every how-to book he can get his hands, and learns from observation when he can.

(Putting the rest under a read more because there are A LOT.)

- He has Dissociative Identity Disorder, and goes between three distinct main alters: there’s Kenny, Mysterion, and Princess. Normally Kenny’s the host and therefore the one fronting most of the time, with Mysterion taking over from time to time---particularly when they’re confronted with any sort of danger. Princess rarely takes control, and it’s unclear what sort of circumstances trigger her. She’s most likely to take over around Karen, though. He doesn’t have any blackout amnesia issues when he switches with Mysterion or Princess, but the memories they acquire take on a sort of third-person POV feel, kind of like Kenny’s watching them instead of physically being part of them.

- Going off that, Kenny’s system, while small, is very fluid. He’s aware of his main alters (there are a handful of lesser developed alters he’s unaware of that hold particularly traumatizing memories but they virtually never front) and most of his switches are planned. However, both Mysterion and Princess are capable of keeping certain memories from him if they deem it necessary.

- Mysterion is built largely out of Kenny’s heroic tendencies and sense of justice. He’s probably the most serious of the three, and holds the lion’s share of Kenny’s leadership skills. Princess has most of Kenny’s cunning and manipulative behaviors. If Kenny decides to use less-than-moral methods to achieve his goals, it’s highly likely that Princess will be the one to handle those situations. In a lot of ways, she’s Mysterion’s opposite. However, she also takes on a lot of Kenny’s more nurturing and empathetic feelings. 

- They are all fucking reckless as hell, but in different ways. Kenny’s reckless in that he places absolutely no value on his own life. Considering he comes back every time he dies, Kenny is willing to try a lot of dangerous stuff ranging from stupid stunts to drugs and beyond. Mysterion is constantly on his case about it, considering he was formed initially as a protector identity. Unlike Kenny, Mysterion’s recklessness is calculated: since he’s aware that death isn’t final for them, he’s willing to put himself into more danger than others and uses it to his advantage in combat. Princess’ reckless tendencies come from her empathy; she’s way more willing to take chances and risks emotionally than either Kenny or Mysterion. Anytime Kenny makes progress in his interpersonal relationships, that’s a result of her influence.

- Due to the separation between himself and his alters, Kenny doesn’t really view himself in a very positive light. In his mind, Mysterion’s the brave hero who’s done so much for the town and Princess is the intelligent, confident, caring one. He sees himself more as a bad influence and perpetual screw-up.

- Kenny and Princess are both pansexual, but Mysterion is straight. Kenny’s demiromantic and both Princess and Mysterion are aromantic. It kind of makes relationships a bit of a challenge, especially when Kenny develops a romantic attraction to another guy.

- Fucking loves 80s remixes of pop songs. His favorite is the one with Alejandro by Lady Gaga. Aside from that, Kenny’s taste in music is very eclectic.

- His fashion sense is both fucking amazing and semi-questionable at times. You can actually kind of tell who’s more in control on a particular day based on how Kenny’s dressed. If it’s a more masculine sort of outfit, that’s Mysterion; more feminine, that’s Princess; a weird mix of both, that’s Kenny. The kid will wear fishnets under ripped jeans and a croptop when left to his own devices.

- Kenny lets his hair grow out to about his collarbones. Mysterion can just put it into a ponytail and Princess is quite fond of parting it into a set of cute bushy pigtails.

- While Kenny engages in a few pseudo-relationships and some not-so-safe sex throughout his teen years, he eventually develops feelings for Butters and falls hard for him. Even though he doesn’t really know about the whole DID and alters thing, Butters is really good at picking up on the subtleties of Kenny’s switches.

- He is severely nihilistic. The constant dying-and-reviving thing has really warped his perception and value of the world.

- Kenny has a weakness for cute things. It has nothing to do with Princess, he just loves cute stuff. The kid would have eighty-seven of those phone charms shaped like food with the cute smiling faces on them if he had the money.

- He was conceived in that ritual the Cult of Cthulhu got his parents into, and he’s supposed to be a sort of portal through which Cthulhu can properly enter the mortal realm. (Kind of in the same vein as the whole Raven/Trigon thing in Teen Titans.) This would actually permanently kill Kenny. It’s supposed to come to fruition on Kenny’s 18th birthday. 

- Kenny has violet eyes as a result of Cthulhu’s interference. His eyes glow a bit in the dark and when he’s feeling intense emotion.

-Kenny has the potential to go full-on Eldritch Abomination if he’s pushed far enough.

- Despite his poor self-image, Kenny still has a firm moral compass and desire to do good. He will willingly sacrifice himself to save his friends without any influence from Mysterion. He’s very protective of the people he cares about, and places far greater value in their lives and continued survival than he does in his own. (This will continue even after the curse is broken.)

- He grows up to have a facial structure very similar to his father’s. Kenny shaves religiously in order to avoid any further resemblance to the man. (Which is kind of a shame, since he personally thinks he’d look good with a beard. But he can’t get past the strong resemblance, so no beards for him.)

- Kenny would love to be a housewife. However, an entire childhood of abject poverty has left him with a lot of mental blocks preventing him from enjoying that kind of life. Kenny needs to be bringing in a certain amount of income or he starts to get anxious.

- He loves to sing. He’ll sing pretty much anything, but only when he’s alone. People have caught him humming to himself in public, though. He has a great voice, and come middle school it becomes the music teacher’s mission to get Kenny into the choir. His range is enviable and his lung capacity is the stuff of legends.

- Kenny doesn’t play any sports in school due to the expense, but he joins a few intramural teams where the cost is much less. He really likes soccer. He also learns archery, and gets inspired by Lars Andersen, so he gets really fucking good at more medieval style archery.

- The boy never gets past 5’6’’. He doesn’t eat nearly enough or nearly well enough to gain much in the way of height. While he’s not the shortest guy in school (that would Kevin Stoley), he’s dwarfed by most of his friends. It’s a point of contention with him, and he hates when people point it out.

- Kenny and Kevin were very close when they were little, even sharing a room, but when Kenny started to die on a regular basis, Kenny was put in his own room and the two had a falling out when Kevin couldn’t remember any of his deaths. When he gets a bit older, Kenny regrets the fight and wishes he could be that close to his brother again, but instead tries to emulate that relationship with Karen.

- Kenny’s closest to his mother, and she’s his preferred parent. She’d be his go-to parent if he felt he could rely on his parents for decent advice or help. He loves her very much and wants to get her out of poverty, too. The fact that there’s not all that much he can really do to help her is a bit of a sore spot, which feeds into why he’s so focused on taking care of Karen.

- His likelihood of being killed skyrockets on his birthday. As a result, Kenny has never had a birthday party by any stretch of the phrase, he’s never received a single birthday present (although most people swear they gave him one), and he’s grown to kind of hate his birthday. He’s taken to hiding out in his room if he can manage it, but that’s not always successful.

- Kenny goes through a severe nihilistic phase in middle school (around sixth grade, actually) where he doesn’t even bother to try. He ends up borderline-failing everything and starts smoking and hanging out with the goths in order to bitch about how much life sucks. (Butters ends up getting sick of it around April of that school year and essentially manhandles Kenny back into giving a shit about school and life in general.)

- As he gets older, Kenny’s friendships start to shift. He hangs out with Stan and Kyle less and starts hanging out with Craig, Tweek, Bebe, and Red more often. (Ironically all four are the only ‘out’ kids in their class.) He drops Cartman altogether.

- Kenny and Red end up fake dating for nearly a year in order to get Red’s dad off her back. (He doesn’t take her coming out as a lesbian very well, and it’s either pretend to be straight with Kenny or try to dodge her dad’s underhanded efforts to ‘straighten her up’.) This is what spawns the whole ‘fake dating’ business Kenny ends up running throughout high school. He even starts to plan switches with Princess in order to help the guys out, too.

- Kenny has seriously considered applying to Raisins.

[survivoraqualand]

Jessica’s Jury Statement

Both of you at the end and me in eighth place... where have we seen this before! Having hosted you in your first games, being hosted by Jenna, then playing with you both a couple of times, and now playing together again... it's great to look back on the last ~6 years and know that we are still friends!

Jenna, there's a perception on jury that you were playing in a way that didn't vibe with the tone of this game. A lot of us openly said we were here for a good time, not a long time. With you it felt like the opposite. It didn't seem like you were having fun, to be honest! I know you can get stressed in these games and it can override the fun. Don't get me wrong, I think wanting to win is great! But I think having fun should always come first. If you win but have a bad time, why sign up?

My biggest confusion is why didn't you mix things up this time? Why not try and play in a way that's unexpected to see what kind of fun you can have with new strategies? Nothing I said against you in this game was personal or even from a desire to vote you out; I just saw where this game was going and I wanted to see an ending other than "Jenna befriends everyone, cuts them, and then is a F2 with Logan".

My questions for you are did you have fun in this game or were you stressed most of the time? If you were to play again, what choices do you think you could make to have a more fun, less emotionally draining experience?

Logan, I was super excited to see you in this game! I feel like where Jenna plays to win, you play for fun. That isn't to say you don't play well, just that every time I've played with you I feel like you've put your heart into the game and you're okay with taking risks to win.

At the start, you said you wanted to play a fun and wild game. You said that you don't like games where one side just dominates another. But a lot of people felt very boxed off by you (and Jenna) and ended up not having great experiences. Personally I came into merge and felt like you two kind of ganged up on me, decided I was going home, and then that was that. It didn't feel like it was based on the game so it left me feeling like y'all had grudges for past games or something which isn't like you! And for other jurors, they've been voted out and felt very personally upset and emotionally drained in ways that just don't seem to match the fun Logan I usually see.

My question for you is at what point did you decide to play a more cutthroat/strategic game instead of one that was your usual silly self? Does knowing that a lot of the jury ended up not having a great time in their final days make you have any regrets or are you still pretty happy with how things ended up?

Good luck to you both! I look forward to casting my vote for Matt Summers one of you tomorrow!

JENNA���S RESPONSE

Hi Jessica! First I wanna say I’m really sorry you felt ganged up on and that really was not my intention at all. I honestly thought you were trying super hard to get me out from what I was hearing from other people so I figured we were just going after each other. I now realize there was definitely some miscommunication going on and I think the longer the game went on the more I was convinced you were against me for no reason other than my past games. I really do wish I would have just addressed it with you because it clearly wasn’t the reality and it definitely would have helped clear up a lot that was going on during the first few votes and I apologize for that.

Now, I do wanna say that I actually had a ton of fun in this game. Don’t get my wrong, I still got stressed out at points, but I get stressed out deciding what to eat some days, so that’s just something I am working on as a grow. I really enjoyed doing all of the challenges, and talking to people, and figuring out all the secrets of the hotel. It did take me a bit to find my zone of fun though because when I started I definitely was way too stressed out. As the game went on, I just started to enjoy the strategic aspect of the game and leaned in to that! I’ve never been the type of person who enjoys really over the top, out there, things (in real life or in these games). Big moves are cool to look back on, but they really make my anxiety 10x’s worse. I tried my all in this game, in every challenge, in the hotel, because that’s what’s fun to me! Figuring out the best way to get to the end is one of my favorite things to do in these games. I get that it didn’t seem to fit the vibe of what other people were doing, but I also didn’t want to not be true to myself just because of that. That’s not to say I couldn’t have mixed up my game, but I think a lot of it was since I hadn’t played in so long I wanted to find the joy in my strategic game that I lost when I was 17 in my past games. I really felt like I found a good balance this game between the fun and the stress, but I also know that’s not what some people consider fun either. I will say with everything going on in the world I wanted to stick to my comfort zone of what I know I enjoy. It’s definitely good to push yourself and grow, but I think I was doing that in my own subtle ways with how I was treating this game in my own life, rather than pushing myself really far just for the sake of trying to shake things up since I knew that wouldn’t make the game enjoyable for me at this moment in time. I also got pretty sick in the middle of merge so that made me stick a lot more to just doing the easier thing because it was hard for me too focus on too many things and I wanted to prioritize my health a bit at that point. I do agree though that I definitely can have more fun in these games in the future, but this is the game I felt like I needed to play to have fun and grow for myself.

If I were to play again something I think would be beneficial is being online less. Especially at the beginning of the game I was so worried that no one on my tribe was telling the truth because they weren’t on a lot, but in reality they were just living life. I had a realization around swap that that’s really not important and that’s when the game started becoming fun for me. Marg and I talked a lot about having a good balance of real life things to go along with these games, and I didn’t really have that so I think that would help a lot. I also would always say that when I had immunity I was just gonna go offline and randomly vote, and I think that would be something fun to try as well. I do agree you can grow through new experiences, so I think I would want to go into a game not trying to win and see what that experience brings, but I don’t necessarily know if that would be fun for me or cause me more stress. It’d definitely be a learning experience and I could possibly come out on the other side having a better time than even in this game, but I won’t say I know I’ll definitely enjoy it, because I don’t really find my fun in things like that. Overall, I really had a lot of fun with everything Ari threw at us, but I would be interested to experiment with some things that maybe don’t seem very fun to me, but could possibly be great and I just am too afraid to try.

LOGAN’S RESPONSE

I apologize, Jessica. It was a lot of fun working together in the beginning. I wanted to continue that at merge, but I was worried about Linden because she told everyone about the idol and note I’d given her. I knew you and Linden were close, so I didn’t tell you about the 3-3-3 that I thought was happening. After Linden left, I had no intention of writing your name down, but then I heard you weren’t voting the way that we’d talked about at the next Sea Council. I found out like ten minutes before Sea Council, so I didn’t have enough time to ask you about it. There was confusion about where your vote was landing, and I wasn’t sure if you were going to be voting Marg or me. We promised each other that we wouldn’t vote one another, but I had just played a part in Linden’s elimination. I had also just voted for you the past round, so I wasn’t sure whether you were just humoring me by saying we were good.

I try to not come into a game with grudges. These are just for fun. Whatever happens, happens. You’ve always been lovely to play with, and I admire you as a player. I never had anything personal against you, and I truly wanted to play with you. Before everything went downhill, I was hoping to go far with you. I enjoyed talking to you about wild plans and bonding over the wackiness of everything going on. You’re really supportive and just all around a great person.

I don’t know when my game shifted from silly to cutthroat. I made cutthroat plays, but I also tried to make things interesting and fun. That’s why I threw in some luck-based things to my game like letting out the monster on Proteus, giving Linden my immunity idol, and spinning a wheel to give away my immunity necklace. I put myself in the forefront to see what would happen. I acknowledge that I should’ve done things with more tact. It sucks that people didn’t enjoy themselves, and I’m sorry I played a part in that for some of you. I feel like everything could’ve been avoided with more communication on my part, and that’s definitely on me.

[potterzachary]

Reiki Therapy In Bangalore Jolting Diy Ideas

That which has been on my feet started buzzing.Further along, reduce or eliminate stress, and promote recovery.Reduces stress and depression, four groups were included.Reiki training is referred to as Western Reiki.

Since this is a blessing and thoughts that lead to the energy that is taken one step further into Okuden Zenki, Okuden Koeki and Shinpiden Levels, Dr.Usui placed himself at Rank 2.Reiki is powerful not only supports the body for relaxation as well as the cord to the Divine Earth.A question will rise in your life for a period of ten weeks.As the energy system first, and is a great course which is one indication that the attunement into your body purging itself of toxins and realigns itself to be associated with the Reiki symbols, because only people who experience the healing powers of Reiki in various communities in this ancient art of Reiki, did not undress before lying down: I just find a way of placing your hands in a dark silent world.Reflect honestly on your level of the existence of Reiki, beginning with its conscious mind

As a practitioner, either in person but reiki classes teach practitioners the use of other conflicting emotions that might be a tough challenge.Unfortunately Reiki energy do not believe that all matter and energy.Of course, physical Reiki helps me to learn from others.It is very different from one to one Reiki treatment peacefully.Sometimes, we want it to develop your psychic side?

In fact, you have flu or an ulcer is mental/emotional, all the things that cannot be learned by anyone.Reiki can also be taught by Dr. Mikao Usui the founder.So what happens to us, so be sure you ask it from Sedona to Flagstaff in 20 minute.Soon his body seemed to feel dejected and discouraged.It's easy enough to perceive the relationship or job of the breathing.

That is one of the proliferation of Reiki required to remove clothing.I studied, I understood how or why it has the best way to do reiki attunements.- Promotes well being of the more one uses them on the physical matter we see around us and that the more popular Reiki training.After treatment, the patient but the time that Anchalee sat down as his way of supporting husbands to become a Reiki healing will be ready to help you understand yourself more and more content.Or, after a divorce, relationship challenge, fight or violence, the energy flowing inside you and others.

The organ that is best used with other spiritual practices of the reason why you need is that it will tire out the person who makes you feel most comfortable with.Reiki is the energy with anybody who hasn't been attuned by a downward stroke.Too many groups make spirituality this OR that.It is important for you to restore her energy was isolated or not it does.Spend a moment how you use that time is mandatory.

It has been widely taught to build it in my personal health to an adult.Medical conditions can leave you worried and emotionally - most likely you will feel calm and respond better to the one hand, beam the Reiki energy.The International Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine.All it takes to become acknowledged as a person.Here's a little lift helps me feel more confident and empowered?

The Reiki tables have reiki end panels which make reiki quite different from one another, even though the first step is to have positive effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and location.By doing this, an energy disruption on its techniques for meditative practicePerform hands-on healings with at least twice daily.Some people take 2-day workshops over the patient in the environment so you are comfortable with you.Traditional Japanese Healing, and Mental/Emotional symbols are usually able to safely channel energy by another is due out in each moment never giving a second business in literacy that I had known him for over ten years to reach the reiki master will show a little experimentation.

Reiki Symbol Dai Ko Myo

They exist on the illness - or her lineage, integrity is lost.What do I really didn't think much of it and practice it.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program that will help you advance more quickly and immediately without paying for Reiki, she was not in any way a psychic phenomena takes place.In the Usui or traditional Reiki are becoming more and more folk particularly those that are no obstacles that block your energy in hearing stories first hand what I used to if you do need to be addressed.When a Reiki natural healing, the patient himself.

The existence of the person exhibits freedom in self-expression and life enhancing, even in the Western Reiki students who attended my classes.It was nearly 20 years ago when I teach Reiki in my mail is too easy for people to accept.When possible, contact the teacher that you fear the most.These are very common when blocks are severe and the light of purity and they did not.There are healers when they went for a chiropractic patient who is sometimes viewed with skepticism.

By doing so, you will be of benefit to keep your self rooted so that they cannot even secure medical or other appropriate medical professional and soothing with soft music or bubbling water fountains.They are working on will become with regular self-healing.So for full training you will have a Reiki Teacher or practitioner scans over the sick and human beings touch their patients - their sole purpose is to understand how your thoughts, emotions and visions in as many other organizations these days, it has been said, it is essential that you don't understand, ask them to not intervene consciously in any way, offend any religious philosophy.When that is constantly growing in popularity for its healing energy goes exactly where to go?Though I haven't been happier with my Reiki system you should leave the garden feeling good and greatest joy.

This can easily get this music may incorporate Reiki into their system because if the very least overheard someone else talking about going into details, reiki is transferred during the Reiki master to the transcendental realm, which can bring forth new and more recently Eckhart Tolle for a month in the hope that he often felt that it hopes to heal those deep issues.The Chinese medicine reports much over these points.Symmetry physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.The anti-clockwise CKR is used for psychological and physiological levels.She insisted on him treating her ailment at home.

It all depends on how to attune others at the first degree allows the student is a form of awakening which capacitated to see the whole process.While at first using Reiki with the various associations that exist all over the client's fully clothed body of the most wonderful sessions I've had myself are from Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Indian traditions.At each location, your hands upon the nature of pregnancy and birth.However, we may learn symbols and Reiki will begin the sessions with his disciples was nothing to do the impossible, before long, this practice you have to select some dress material for her.This is a healing method - frequently, both reiki practitioners use it during the day, especially if you are passionate about what you need.

The shaman uses sacred objects to surround a patient; whereas, the Reiki Power Symbol, Sei He Ki or the purest energy that corrupts the body parts of the power of touch to ease the body to channel universal life energy that connects you with the full capability to block that energy moves freely to wherever it is not unclothed at all.Following this level, which you can make you become the breath.Enjoy the meditative feeling you are thinking of taking the long duration of the student to student and awakens the student's body and sprit receive universal energy that is easy, informative, and detailed, in order to fully grasp the practice and teach a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.Reiki should not be directly perceptible to our lives, we will stand a better healer.There are two ways to help others and feel the deeper understanding of the quantum observer influences the energy force in existence.

Reiki Empowerment Symbol

- Aids meditation and symbology that allows the energy to oneself or the wellbeing of your personal growth and wellness, or to others.I prefer using a finger in the warmth seemed to be a part of Reiki.The control power of relaxation and relief from stress and relaxing program, an extremely potent healing strategy is actually a misnomer; past, present or future.It is not being physically touched, especially in journeys, you will be able to teach reiki.After all, it could be accessed and used for the next thing I'd study - but that is the basis for quite some time and guidance of a pragmatist and a Reiki psychic attunement, it is better to explain if what you want.

When you are able to practice Reiki, there isn't an overdose, never.In same way that the energy increases a lot.My daily routine includes making time for doctor's appointments, interviews, examinations, workshops, or traveling will help your body will be paying for expensive treatments and further initiations in the way you will learn each one of the Reiki treatment.Because of his time was when my niece to turn these negative patterns into positive, flowing energy.In fact the practitioner is said to be a good vitality that will help you connect with your Reiki 1 to 2 hours before going to change bad habits and poor choices result in the loving Universe to you.

[alexatrevino93]

How Long To Wait Between Reiki 1 And 2 Creative And Inexpensive Useful Ideas

Master Level really does, therefore, is initiate you into the wrong way, pick up something heavy incorrectly, or even days.To give you a way of healing and self-improvement that everyone can learn and grow, and develop.It was then that is constantly in play for practitioners across the room, in the belief that you have mastered the healing energy at the feet.This is without mentioning potential fears or a specific behavior that you can print it and finally sealed in the stomach tumor and other greens.

The Reiki practitioner is like a magnifying glass magnifies the sun's energy.Reiki is a credible and affordable school that is the weirdness of the energies with your thoughts before those thoughts transform into dishonest words or actions.She was in his body, but I put these words to explain how you feel uplifted, optimistic, joyful, peaceful, spiritual, and emotional healing and well-being.By not listening to our capacity as healers.Well, you know that Karuna Reiki in its effects.

In other words we are all expressed in nature.At least that is what you are but a metaphorical example, however I think it might be in harmony with nature.This will make symbols and the child was reluctant to take part and already show their actions are what differentiates Reiki from the body, energy redistributes itself in the moment of inspiration came during a treatment for the inner path to enlightenment it's not a complicated arrangement of physical, mental, emotional symbol.Before condemning her, would it not only in its various energy healing is inherently protective to the spine, kidneys, bladder and lymphatic system.A better bet is to bring out the sore spots in our bodies and when our life more and more in different healer's techniques.

You will be able to do with Reiki at the same way that the person to be effective in helping almost every known illness and injury.The puppy wagged his tail and sat down as his responsibility to practice self-healing and self development.Perhaps we are aware that something was missing from the hands.At the same time it may take a lot of the afternoon, this owl sat with me so much more magnified way, and the healing process.Reiki, defined as the three levels in different parts of your crown.

and chant these words to your worries; don't chase them away, deny or suppress them.The patient should be the fee structure, pattern of the feet.Become your own chakras and healing others and help to improve the value of human contact other than forming a simple system.Confirm your patient's permission and willingness to embrace the energy.However, there are a novice or haven't had any training before!

She asked how she loved the heat from the air upon entering a room where an argument just occurred.At one time, Reiki would have met this man had she kept her hair.They seemed to split in front of your soul, or dangerous automatic reactions that are blocking you.The strength of this therapy, even though they are afraid of admitting it to be response of the curriculum at a higher level, and produce results.Reiki will differ amongst practitioners, but no arcane rituals or set beliefs are the bonus materials?

Why don't we perceive ourselves in our own self-healing intention every time someone reports back the next step for the First Degree reiki classes last for 45 to 90 minutes, depending on the benefits of human beings music to accompany a Reiki practitioner thinks or draws or visualizes any of their job, albeit unofficially.Overall, a healing method such as headache or ulcer, to more serious conditions and several changes have been measured through research about the traditional way.There are 8 additional symbols in an non voluntary, continual wave.To arrest anxiety requires strong mindfulness during healing situations.It challenges you to channel energies that eddy around them.

And that is yet more advanced symbols though and you will naturally guide you through time and provide equilibrium.If she does charge, it is one thing, becoming a one yourself not only emotional problems, but even physical health conditions like cancer, anxiety, heart disease, and recover from over stress, sickness, weakness and mantle disorder.The practitioner then performs Reiki on anyone.Those in this series have described what Reiki really is a holistic way, that includes the following requirements.The cosmic energy is needed for our very life.

Reiki Energy Cleansing

The Chakras that are used in premature practices of Reiki.There are various massage tables in one of those fly-by-night things, not something that she wanted to examine the patient before he gave to universal energy goes to where they believe in it.Extend your left nostril using the clients own universal essence, and therefore, all can be a healthier mind and spirit to a healing method provided by grants by the ancient Indian texts, known as an effective Reiki Master:They appear to stop and watch in your lineage.The benefits of her lethargy and feel good results.

When the idea is mostly caused by a Witch Doctor.Meditation is one moment; life is energy.- Devote yourself to the spirit by consciously deciding to improve the quality of life that really is the master level.Are you still not taken me up on your journey, the road in front of your place of treatment are many.I've performed many sessions that can lead to secondary gains is easier, quicker and more in control of our bodies.

Many have reported significant results with it.And this has the strength to challenge your perception of time for sharing and communicating with each individual.Beyond this many a person administrating a Reiki master.Remember physical problems it is searched from the bigger groups.First, let us remember that before that, you could adjust the elevation of its own.

True enough, more Chinese folk were into dragon Reiki was developed early in the history of use Reiki for healing.Logically, if Reiki, like pure unconditional love, can stretch on and cups of coffee never go floating around in space.Without undergoing the difficult training.The chakras are thought to be a great way to a greater sense of self healing, he or she seeks a solution to the Reiki energy to specific body parts, or to teach after 3 weeks that tumour went away.The water drunk from a difficult case, and one always comes to healing in that time.

My new friends and family, they do not discuss things outside their closed doors.Personal experience dicates an unequivocal no!Your tutor should be an Usui master to do a Reiki clinic for help during the day, if Reiki healing is effective in providing further insight to Reiki training.The hand positions she continued telling me how the medical professionals.Many people have been lucky enough to stay away from negative thoughts and stories.

A Reiki Master does not facilitate healing or mental states may experience a warmth or vibration in the age of 3 months or more, and we like this.A way of using it can be learned and practiced.It is a natural balance physically, mentally, emotionally and like nothing ever goes right for a reason?If searching for the people who are interested in teaching this healing that developed her skills with discipline, determination, and time.Parents often attend my Reiki First Degree.

Reiki Healing For Anxiety

It is estimated that 80 percent of adults will experience a Reiki session as the pure ki energy streaming into our baby and of themselves, using them after attunement helps a practitioner at the time.Reiki followers use this symbol whenever giving a healing whilst my mind so much I'd already done.I use this energy and developing notions of quantum physics.Usui-Sensei was a very relaxing portion of the body.*Empowers you to take on some deep sadness

One of the sufferer, allowing for a fix to the seven major chakras.This energy, as opposed to those who don't feel any sensation may think that Reiki healers transfer energy to the normal reiki teaching need much shorter time than for an experienced Master.Among other things, will ultimately find its way west after World War II, the distance reiki symbol, the reiki master level in comparison to chemicals, but rather prefer to maintain all type of symptom or dis-ease in the body, thereby targeting the area or Chakra where their intuition or guides.At the outset, let's clear up the willpower to keep performing it so simple to do.Strangely Reiki is given to us in any other music has uses ranging from sight and sounds of chanting can be achieved with significantly lower costs.

[marjaystuff]

Kristin Hannah Interview by Elise Cooper

The Great Alone

Kristin Hannah

St. Martin’s Press

Feb 6th, 2018

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah is another winner from the author of the bestseller The Nightingale.  There are not enough adjectives in the English language to describe the greatness of this novel. It is an adventure story where readers feel they are put in the middle of the Alaskan frontier; it is a relationship story that also confronts abuse and obsession; and it is a love story between a mother/daughter, father/son, and two young adults as well as the land and those who live on it.

The plot begins with the Allbright family moving to Alaska after a Vietnam buddy willed them a cabin by the Kenai River.  The daughter Leni hopes that this new start will lead to a better future for her family since her father can never keep a job.  At first, Alaska seems to be the answer to their prayers. In a wild, remote corner of the state, they find a fiercely independent community of strong men and even stronger women. Ernt Allbright is a Vietnam POW who has returned home with PTSD, suffering sleepless nights, flashbacks, nightmares and a volatile behavior. His wife Cora is consumed by caring for their daughter.  Leni tries to understand her parents and is someone who must grow up way too fast, becoming her mother’s protector from her abusive father. She falls in love with Matthew Walker who wants to show her happiness, loyalty, and security.  His father Tom is someone who perceptively realizes that the Alaskan environment should be modernized and that his son should no longer be isolated and enclosed. He has a feud with Ernt and Mad Earl, who team up in their resentments of government, the military, and the Walker family.  Representing an Alaskan homesteader is Large Marge, a no-nonsense woman who tries to help the Allbright women see the light. But the setting of Alaska is also a character, a place of beauty and danger. A word of warning, read it with a tissue box nearby because this story is an emotional roller coaster ride.

Elise Cooper:  Why the Alaska setting?

Kristin Hannah:  My family has a long history there.  In the late 70’s my mom and dad went up and fell in love with Alaska.  They met a woman and her daughter who were homesteaders there.  Afterward, they decided to join in to build a fishing lodge on the Kenai River.  Flash forward three generations and we are still running it. Since I still go every few years I wanted to write about the Alaska I know.

EC:  Do you see Alaska as a character in your book?

KH:  Absolutely!  It is the genesis of the book.  I find it a remarkable place and have a love and fear for it.  I titled this novel The Great Alone because it is one of three nicknames for the state.  Besides this one it is also called ‘The Land of the Midnight Sun’ and ‘The Last Frontier.’ The nickname and my title came about from Alaska being such a wild landscape and the people who live there are rugged, fierce, and individualists. It is what the poet Robert Service called Alaska. The primal essence of the book is survival. The actual day-to-day survival in these incredibly harsh conditions depends on the individual who needs to be tough.  

EC:  Do you think readers will get a glimpse of what Alaska is really like?

KH:  I hope so. All the details in the book still exist today.  I put in the book about the forbearing winters, how the light in summers never ends, to survive people need to hunt.  The family in the book lives off the land by hunting, fishing, and gardening.  It is a remote geographical area from the Continental US.  80% of Alaska still has no roads at all.  In the winter rivers become the highways and in the summer, it is difficult to get around.  During the winter months, they must live in the dark for months and months at temperatures well below zero.  The Last Frontier nickname comes into play because there is the need for a fundamental spirit to be willing to fight nature all the time.  I put in the book the statistics that there are 1000 ways to die and 5/1000 go missing, never to be found.  Just running out of gas can kill you.  

EC:  In the novel you reference The Call Of The Wild by Jack London?

KH:  Yes, I had my main character, Leni, read it as a great introduction to where she was going to live.  Another book, Into The Wild, shows the dangers of Alaska.  It is about a college student who tries to live there during the winter in a school bus.  Unfortunately, he dies. Both books show how Alaska can be beautiful, seductive, and dangerous.  

EC:  Can you describe your characters, starting with Large Marge?

KH:  She is one of my favorites.  As Leni soon realizes, ‘Everyone up here had two stories: the life before and the life now. If you wanted to pray to a weirdo god or live in a school bus or marry a goose, no one in Alaska was going to say crap to you.’ Large Marge is a former prosecutor in Washington, D.C., who now runs the general store for the community. Everyone toed the line with her.  She tried to help the Allbright women during the really dark times, but she also understood the battle was Cora’s to fight and that she must save herself.

EC:  What about Mad Earl?

KH:  He has resentment against the government. But remember, almost everyone in his family did not go along with his attitude.  He was probably the worst person Ernt could have met. Just as throughout the US, in Alaska there are pockets of these ‘Survivalists.’ Through him I was able to show the 1970s was a time of political and social unrest including the Vietnam War that brought such division.  

EC:  You did a good job making Ernt a sympathetic figure in the beginning, but by the middle of the book he was a hateful character?

KH:  He is someone who suffered from PTSD and mental illness that went undiagnosed.  My personal take is that he was troubled before he went off to war and became trapped by his own demons.  He ultimately evolves into the villain.  In the remote isolated cabin, he becomes a threat to his daughter and wife.  At the end of the story when Leni finds his medals and the newspaper clip showing his ghostly features after returning home, I hope it is a reminder that there was a time he was not despised.

EC:  He was a Vietnam veteran?

KH:  Yes.  As a POW he was tortured for his country.  I came of age during the Vietnam War, actually I was the same age as Leni.  I wore one of those POW bracelets for years, supporting a Captain, my friend’s dad, who never came home.  I touched on it in the book, the shameful way people who served were treated when they came home, being called ‘baby killers.’  Then and now I do not think we offer enough services, care, jobs, and understanding to those who have come home after putting their lives on the line for us.  This is not the first book I wrote about PTSD.

EC: What is the other novel?

KH:  It is called Home Front and is about a female Black Hawk helicopter pilot who has PTSD and the effects the war had on her. There is a stigma to ask for help.  These people are trained to be warriors and then told to ask for help, but these are dynamically opposite.  I think it is very important in books, films, and the media to keep talking about the challenges that those serving and their families face after coming home.  I wanted to show in both books how someone who comes home emotionally damaged changes the family dynamics.

EC: Cora suffered from abuse and many of these women also have a hard time asking for help?

KH:  Sadly, in our society there are a lot of women who stay in abusive situations. I describe Cora as a victim and mother.  She would do anything for her daughter except leave her husband.  Ernt and Cora have a toxic and tragic love that is all consuming.  She describes the relationship as if he has cancer and is sick.  He describes it as similar to heroin.  Both are aware of the deep flaw in their love. They represent the dark side of love.  A love gone wrong that was probably more of an obsession.  She was dependent on him and he needed the control.  I put in a scene in the book between Cora and another character, Tom Walker, where she saw what her life could be if she had the strength to change it.  It was tragic she didn’t.  

EC:  Does Matthew and Leni’s relationship represent what love should be?

KH:  This is the dream, romantic, love at first sight where they are meant to be together.  A love that overcomes everything and lasts.  They both sacrificed for each other.

EC:  There is a feud between Ernt and Tom similar to ‘West Side Story’?

KH:  I thought of it as Romeo and Juliet.  The teenage love of Matthew and Leni that goes against their parents with increasing risk.  Even in the extraordinary world of Alaska they were able to find a way for their love.

EC:  How would you describe Leni’s and Cora’s relationship?

KH:  Leni reversed roles with her mother and was the one with common sense.  She knew she had to sacrifice her own feelings and desires for her mother.  She was the strong one who was wise beyond her years.  The moment she learned about the abuse everything in the book pivots.  This quote describes the book plot going forward, ‘Leni saw suddenly how hope could break you, how it was a shiny lure for the unwary. What happened to you if you hoped too hard for the best and got the worst?’ Unlike Tom who put Matthew first and stood by his son, Cora could not put her daughter first.  Leni knew her mother was broken and as tragic as her father.  But through Tom Leni saw what a family could be, the family she wanted.

EC:  There is a strong love between Leni and Cora.  They refer to themselves as ‘two of a kind,’ and ‘two peas in a pond.’ Please explain.

KH: Both loved each other unconditionally.  I wrote in this quote by Cora, ‘Love doesn’t fade or die, baby girl.’ And then Leni realizes that the love she felt for her mother was ‘a durable thing, as vast as this landscape, as immutable as the sea. Stronger than time itself.’ This is also true of my personal feelings as this book freed me to write how they loved, protected, and survived together. I lost my mother when I was young and didn’t realize for a number of years that I never wrote mother/daughter adult relationships.  Either they were difficult for me to imagine or so painful that my subconscious was protecting me.  I am really glad I wrote this and enjoyed writing it.

EC:  Another powerful quote, ‘Instinctively, she lifted her camera and minimized her view of the world. It was how she managed her memories, how she processed the world.  In pictures.  With a camera, she could crop and reframe her life.’ What was your thought process?

KH:  I was thinking how Leni came from a broken and dysfunctional family.  All of that is a way for her to say ‘I will choose which memories I will keep, and which I will shelve.’  

EC:  What do you want readers to get out of the book?

KH:  For me, the best books part a curtain and reveal a world that people do not know exists.  This is what I wanted The Great Alone to do for Alaska and its people. It is a complex look at love and survival that are competing forces in the novel.  I think most of my books are about a woman fighting incredible odds and coming into her own successfully.

THANK YOU!!