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#and so many people need to ask themselves why
cotton-could · 2 days
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The importance of Leorio
Leorio has been a character who was often dismissed, mocked and minimized for not having flashy abilities like everybody else, which is why he was often seen as not important but this is far from the truth. Leorio does bring something very crucial to the table and those are his kindness and honesty. Let me break it down:
1) He's the heart of the time and the main reason why it hasn't fallen apart
⭐️; Almost everybody says Gon is the one that brings everybody together and while there's some truth in it, it's actually Leorio who does it. Notice how the moment they part ways, Kurapika slowly falls into darkness and acts way more aloof than before. He doesn't crack jokes as often as before, doesn't trust anybody and is always serious. Hence, he spent the whole Chairman arc ignoring everybody until Leorio asked help to bring his ass outside and surprisingly, Kurapika is thankful of it.
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He knows Leorio is an important source to him and to many people, and it can be seen with Gon and Killua. Overtime, Gon is more likely to act selfish and distant to everybody, not caring if his actions would have terrible consequences while Killua has to fulfill the role of the responsable one, he doesn't get to be a kid and it's taking a toll on both of them (which almost ruined their friendship) but the moment they're around Leorio, they're more relaxed and get to act like kids without worrying about fights. And he's also the main reason why Gon and Killua became friends, and Kurapika joined the group, all because of a dumb argument they had lol.
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2) He brings the best in his friends
⭐️; Something I've noticed is that Gon and Kurapika's moods and morals were at their best in the Hunter Exam, where they've been teaming up with Leorio. See, neither Gon and Kurapika have a reason to keep helping him, in fact, at worst he slow them down as he almost cost them a challenge but they still stick by his side even when they have the option to abandon him.
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The fact they're willing to put themselves in danger for him really shows that Leorio did manage to bring their more selfless side by just being his over-the-top self and being unintentionally funny to which I'm sure they find it very endearing and make them want to help him, especially after hearing his real reason to be a hunter. Another important point is Gon waiting for him to catch his breath instead of running like Killua suggested, the normally selfish Gon would listen to Killua as Leorio didn't offered him much but once again, it made Gon's kinder side come to shine.
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3) He's the wake up call Killua needed
⭐️; An important aspect of his character that many people overlook is that he was the key for Killua's development, just as Illumi was manipulating Killua, he stepped in and said the wake up call Killua needed: "You're Gon's friend", it briefly snapped him out of it and made Killugon's bond even stronger.
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4) His kindness, honesty and bravery are his greatest weapons
⭐️; Leorio isn't the strongest member of his team nor has impressive nen abilities but one thing we can't deny is how his qualities (indirectly and unintentionally) earned him the love of his (powerful) friends and allies, the respect of veteran and legendaries hunters and the attention of Hisoka. You see, at first I found it odd how many characters started to like/respect Leorio even when they mostly saw his abrasive side but now after re-reading it, it all make sense; he shows the values a hunter must have and the values people needed to see. How so? Well, Gon and Kurapika are people who value honesty and loath people who goes against what's right for them; shallowness and dishonesty. And both of them sensed good vibes in Leorio and saw his kindness in action when he didn't realized it. Leorio used a jerkass façade in his introduction but it was quickly broken when he tried to save a guy who was about to fall in the water and quickly grabbed Gon's leg. This moment was what made Gon and Kurapika realize he's actually a selfless young man and it won't be the last time they'll see his kind actions. When he took care of the examiner, the guy said he was treated with great compassion by Leorio (who was embarrassed by the reveal) and was the reason why he passed the exam, of course neither Gon nor Kurapika are impressed by the reveal because they already know he's a softie. Kindness is an important key to be a great and respected hunter, because kindness is what keeps the world spinning.
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Later in the Hunter Exam, Kurapika confronts Leorio about his jerkass façade and why he really wants to be a hunter. Even when Leorio acts like a shallow man, Kurapika no longer buys it because he knows he's actually a humble man with good intentions so when Leorio tells him the truth, he's satisfied with it and grows closer to him because Leorio is what Kurapika really admires in someone (but that doesn't stop him to sass him).
Killua also took note of Leorio's character. After he saw Killua kill a man, he was understandably scared of him but he doesn't treat him like a monster. He continues to treat him like a kid and still act abrasive to him, just like to everybody else. This continues to be like this for the rest of the serie, he acts like the adult Killua needed and he defended him from Illumi, without caring he might get killed by him. This genuinely touches Killua a lot, to the point he considers him his friend and threatened Milluki to not hurt Gon, Leorio and Kurapika. What Killua valued the most about Leorio were his kindness, bravery and honesty. Even when he knew Killua is an assassin, he doesn't act like a doormat to stay on his good side nor act two-faced around him, he's still his loud but tender self around him too which (secretly) earn Killua's genuine respect and care.
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About the hunters, this one is actually the funniest yet the most impressive one because all Leorio did was punching Ging and awkwardly admit what he has been doing but still tell them he wants to see Gon healthy again and this hilariously earned the respect of legendaries and famous hunters, beating veterans like Bisky, Linne, Ging, and so on. Leorio doesn't realize they respect him for being shamelessly honest and not caring about getting in trouble if it meant his friends are alright. He got all the qualities Ging doen't have and it's his tenderness towards Gon, his dedication to his loved ones and goals, his kindness, his care for other people, etc...
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Now Hisoka... We all know he's interested in power but Leorio doesn't even have a strong power and he isn't interested in getting stronger because he wants to be a doctor. So why would a guy like Hisoka be interested in a normal dude like Leorio? Well, when Hisoka was testing the characters, Leorio passed but why? He passed because of his bravery, he and Leorio knew he had 0 chances in beating the clown but he put his own life at risk to bring some justice and this trait was what Hisoka admired in him and decided to spare him when it would make more sense to kill him. Leorio, unknowingly shows a trait Hisoka respects the most and this was best seen when Hisoka killed some of the spider members to spite Chrollo as a punishment to be a "coward" (using the crowd to fight him instead of fighting himself). Leorio has never used someone else to fight for him or to hide behind them as a shield and it's very remarkable for a guy like him. And it's not the first time he caught a villain's attention, Illumi took note of him aswell and it was once again for his bravery. It surprised him how Leorio wasn't scared of him at all.
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In the end, his friends ended up paying Leorio's kindness back to him. Gon with continuing to help him in the Hunter Exam, saving his life and caring for him. Kurapika with helping him in the badge challenge (when he had nothing to gain in exchange), looking after him and being more open to him (allowing himself to let his guard down and be his sassy but kind and playful self around Leorio and the kids). Killua with killing Leorio's opponent (Killua could've killed anybody else but HE choose Leorio's opponent of all people wich I firmly believe he wanted to help Leorio back), being a trusted ally to him and caring for him.
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5) He's the greatest ally you could ask for
⭐️; Leorio compensate his lack of combat skill by being a trustworthy ally who will always be there for his friends, he lend an ear to listen and give advices, put his life on the line to give them time and/or to fool his enemies, look after them, reach out to them, and so on. His presence is enough to make Gon, Killua and Kurapika safe and more relaxed. When he pretends to be an angry boss, you can tell Killua and Gon were very happy to see him and know they can always count on him when they need it. This gets better when Killua calls Leorio in the Election Arc, because he knows Leorio will always have his back in case Gon isn't available.
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6) He's a great friend
⭐️; He's the friend Gon, Killua and Kurapika needed. He manages to be a good balance for everybody.
🎣; With Gon, he's the (older) male figure Gon needed in his life, he cares for him and is very protective of him, he guides him in areas Gon can't handle it (such as making money or having businessman skills) but still act like a fun brotherly figure who gets into silly arguments with him in the Hunter Exam but when things get serious, he drops everything and makes sure Gon will be safe or get what Gon needs (seeing his father). He's a reliable resource Gon can be safe with because he's the only man who he got to see more often while he rarely saw Kite and Ging was barely around his life.
🛹; With Killua, well, he's everything Illumi failed to be; caring, understanding, protective (in a genuine and healthy way), honest, selfless and so on. Despite not interacting much, Leorio and Killua has a lot in common (I'll talk about it in another blog) and Leorio is the second person who Killua clicked with the most and after getting to know Leorio more, Killua finally gets to act like a kid without being punished but also asks Leorio for help/advices when he sees he can't do it alone and knows Leorio is a softie who will always be there for him when he'll need it. It speaks volume how much Killua trusts in him when Killua always come for him when he's in a problem he can't do it by himself. (Their friendship are so underrated 😔)
⛓️; With Kurapika they both get to open up with each other and reveal private parts of their backstory. After confirming Leorio is a good guy, Kurapika started to joke around more often and appreciates his precense even more, in YorkNew, Kurapika slowly became more aloof until he saw his friends again and opened up to them again. Leopika still look after each other in spite of Kurapika's change with Leorio's moments of maturity and his compassion are what keeps Kurapika on line. Even after Kurapika has been ignoring Leorio's calls, he still deeply cares for him and will forever be thankful of his kindness.
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TLTR: Leorio is epic whether you like it or not.
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theoceanoasis · 2 days
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Deaf Rodimus who always has his implant audials in but takes them out to charge on a night he forgot Drift and Ratchet were coming over
No one knew he was deaf not even Ratchet. It was his biggest insecurity and something he went to great lengths to hide especially when he became Prime.
Since most injuries and diseases could simply be fixed having a disability was looked down on. Many people believed those with disabilities were useless and a burden on everyone else who should end themselves for the greater good.
It hurt growing up listening to how others like him were talked about and it was the reason he was so determined to hide this part of himself.
When he became a Prime he was even more determined. Since Primes were seen as the closest thing to a god and no one wanted a broken one.
If they found out he was deaf they would ask questions wondering if he was worthy of the matrix. Something he already had to fight so hard to prove. This would just be another thing added on top.
He didn't know why Primus didn't fix his audios when he was upgraded and some part of him thinks it's because he was unworthy and that he was always meant to give up the matrix to Optimus.
He was nothing but a stand in while Optimus was the real Prime and he didn't deserve the title and oftentimes felt like a fraud.
He tried to push the negative thoughts away as he went to charge his implants. They worked wonderfully and he wore them all the time but occasionally they needed to be charged every few months.
He'd been putting it off, not wanting to take them off. Because every time he always felt uncomfortable and his negative thoughts would oftentimes overwhelm him.
After taking it off he felt uncomfortable and exposed to the world having been so used to hearing. He grabbed blankets and made himself a little nest with his back pressed against the wall while his body faced the door.
He tried his best to relax and fall asleep wanting to wake up and have his device charged.
He didn't hear the knocking on his door or his comm blowing up with messages since he accidentally left it in the other room.
He'd been so stressed out about taking off his implants that he forgot tonight was movie night.
Ratchet and Drift waited outside for a long time both of them calling him.
"Maybe something's wrong. Since he's not picking up."
Drift suggested looking at the door worriedly.
Ratchet went to enter his code when the TV turned on. They both jumped at the loud volume and continued waiting for Rodimus to answer the door.
Drift tried calling him a few more times wondering what was going on. He seemed so excited a few days ago for their movie date. He didn't know what changed since then.
"He's clearly home and since he's not answering he's avoiding us."
"I'm sure that's not true."
Even as he said that he looked at the door skeptically. It wouldn't be the first time Rodimus avoided them although that hasn't happened since they first started to court him and some miscommunication happened.
"Maybe he forgot?"
"Then why isn't he answering the door when we've been knocking on it or answer his comm that's been ringing nonstop? I can hear it inside."
They both listened to the sound of his comm go off as they continued calling him. He gave the door a sad look because Rodimus was avoiding them again instead of talking about it.
"Rodimus if you're not going to answer the door we are leaving!"
Ratchet banged on the door a few more times and when nothing happened he walked away with a huff muttering about a waste of time. Even as he said that he could see the hurt in his optics and he followed his Conjunx. Hopefully he could get some kind of an explanation from Rodimus and if he was avoiding them he'd like to know why so they can at least try and fix it.
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mxtxfanatic · 2 years
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I will always maintain that Wei Wuxian was in the right for what he did during the Sunshot Campaign. It is morally right and even necessary to resist violent oppression with violence. Any handwringing on how oppression is fought and what kind of violence fits the bar for “good enough to not be labeled a bad guy” in the face of fighting oppression is the same as siding with said oppression.
The fact that wwx only does what he does during wartime to the people trying to oppress him but drops these behaviors completely during peacetime says a lot about his character. Meanwhile, the wartime tactics the Wen used is what the rest of the cultivation world adopt during peacetime, wonder what that says about them 🤔
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aeolianblues · 29 days
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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musical-chick-13 · 10 months
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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childrensward · 11 months
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What if I told you that regression is regression and is all the same whether or not it's "pure" or "impure." What if I told you that trying to reinvent these labels in a way that's supposed to be progressive and inclusive just further alienates those whose regression is a result of mental illness, and that doing so is an attempt at detaching yourself from severely mentally ill regressors that you are much more similar to than people who don't age regress. What if I told you that truly healthy regression is supposed to include being cathartic and experiencing "ugly" emotions and being vulnerable.
What if. Imagine..
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softshuji · 9 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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this website is not beating the piss poor reading comprehension allegations
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mantisgodsdomain · 10 months
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I started playing snowbound blood thanks to your recommendation. The mystery novel aspect so far sucks ass (derogatory) (it's not a mystery novel. the mystery is set dressing) and the worldbuilding also sucks ass (complimentary) (everything sucks so much in this planet and i think i haev couvid) and I am slowly getting hints that secily should maybe be on therapy.
Snowbound Blood is a tragedy at its core. In hindsight, emphasizing the mystery elements might have been our bad - this is a character-focused visual novel, and the mystery elements can fall to the wayside in favor of... well. Everything sucks, the world is dying, and the more you play the more the many, many ways in which this world fucking sucks will become evident.
You're going to love meeting Secily's therapist, we think.
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yeonban · 1 year
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Soma's bushido summed up:
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#muse: date soma.#That's one of Soma's canon quotes from 15 years ago btw... it's an embedded belief by present day#Naotora in his speech patterns: (flexible) want to. should [do x bc he feels it's a good idea].#Soma in his speech patterns: (rigid) have to. can't [do x bc it isn't smth that's allowed].#Not to say he doesn't /want/ to see a better world. He does. but the more idealistic version of him died over a decade ago#He wouldn't be pushed to keep going by just thinking that he 'wants' to do something or 'wants' to see something happen#what is 'want' in a society that represses individuality and calls for everyone to live for their nation/clan rather than themselves#'must' and 'have to' are firmer concepts that he can hold on to. it means there are /important/ things at stake if he doesn't follow thru#Ask Naotora what he wants and he's going to list off a hundred things as easily as he breathes#Ask Soma what he wants and he's going to stare at you like you've grown a second head bc wdym what he /wants/#Naotora is what he wants to be first and foremost. Soma is what he needs to be first and foremost.#It's why I'm so :') at his interactions w/ Seiroku bc he doesn't /have/ to be anything around him and that's a VERY novel feeling#Soma w/ his people: I'm their captain -> I must never show them weaknesses. I have to be an unshakeable stronghold#Soma w/ the grand generals: We're friends but also rivals -> I have to remain on my guard about their propositions & not show any weakness#Tsubasa's kind of an exception but EVEN W/ HER... Soma doesn't /fully/ let his guard down; altho it's mainly out of force of habit#He does trust her; and he does a lot of things she wants him to bc he has a soft spot for her & knows she doesn't mean him harm#but at the end of the day... ALL of the grand generals are competing against each other#there are only so many resources they can use (esp in this arc) and their duty; which comes first; is to ensure their own band's survival#so despite trusting Tsubasa; at the back of his mind he's prepared for the eventuality of her choosing the Tokugawa over their friendship#He cherishes his childhood friends but man is there a LOT of baggage and a very specific detachedness in his interactions w/ them#That for the better or for the worse aren't there (at least rn) in his interactions w/ Seiroku which allows Soma to Be Himself
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wheeloffortune-design · 3 months
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I think the internet as a whole needs to ask themselves one simple question when they see a video.
Why was the camera filming.
There are so many videos that seem real, but when you realize the camera was already filming with a great angle, you can see that it's all staged.
Yes, there are dash cams, security footage, people accidentally filming real things happening. But so many are just staged!! And no one in the notes takes the camera preparation into consideration!
This is 2024, you need to know how to spot bots lying to you, but also humans lying to you.
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medicinemane · 9 days
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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kavehater · 15 days
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Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂‍↕️#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
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sitronsangbody · 5 months
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Please, please be considerate of your fat friends' needs and limitations. Fat bodies are heavy to carry around. I move about the world slower than my thin peers, and I've often had to choose between pushing myself to keep a pace that takes absolutely all my energy, or being left behind, when walking in a group. I don't always feel safe to ask that everyone walk slower, because there's a prevalent idea in society that fat people need to exert themselves as much as possible at all times in the service of weight loss, and that we never "really" need rest, therefore it's a good thing whenever we're exhausted. Fat people and thin people alike are taught that fatness is a flaw, one that fat people ourselves are to blame for, so we're not entitled to any accommodation or consideration. A friend of mine who is fat recently told me about a dinner party she went to where the chairs were far too small for her and she was sitting very uncomfortably. After the meal she politely suggested moving the party to the couch, but the others didn't want to. She spent another couple of hours in unnecessary pain, and didn't dare tell them about it. I love my thin friends, but some of them just don't realize that I weigh probably twice as much as them, and yet I balance it all on the same size feet and carry it on about the same size bones. I'm like if they had a whole other them to carry around at all times. Why would that not have an impact on how I function? Please - take us into consideration when we're part of activities. Ask us which activities work and which don't. Adjust the pace so no one has to be dry heaving and sweating barrels on what's supposed to be a casual walk. Make sure venues have seating that fits us. Make it safe for us to speak up if we need something. When we do, don't treat us like we're the problem. Finally: yes, we have heard of losing weight. Even those of us who might (and many never will, whether you like it or not), won't do it on a moment's notice. If your response to "fat people deserve accommodations" is "what if they weren't fat though", you're playing a fantasy game. It's pointless. We are fat and we are here and we do partake in society. Work with that.
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kateis-cakeis · 2 months
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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hexastitchimera · 4 months
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Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.
#vee vibrates#I understand that some things are more important to others than they are to me but.#I really need people to understand that sometimes you're better off volunteering at a shelter of ANY kind if you want to commit real change.#Online advocacy is crucial but man am I worried as hell for the kids that don't seem to understand that offline is even moreso.#And being disabled + queer myself I know that it can (and often is) a safety and accessibility issue but zoouniverse.org exists.#That website where you solve history and math quizzes to give rice to impovrished families is online.#Just. Anything that puts this aggressive “”advocacy“” to rest. Ego will be the death of us and we don't need anymore of it.#And if anybody reads this and finds themselves getting upset ask yourself this: Why does this upset me? Do I see myself in this?#Because you'd know that I am speaking out of genuine desperation when I say all of this.#I am not any better than any online activist just because I do a lot of work offline.#I am just so fucking tired of seeing people misdirect their rightful frustrations and fall further prey to the elites' divisive desires.#Is it so much to ask of you all to finally be angry at those who truly make our lives miserable? Or are we just going to keep playing cop?#At the end of the day it's your choice. I cannot force you. However you will grow old one day and look back. Remember that.#I for one don't want to have any regrets about any time I wasted on bigots and trolls and people who have already decided on their opinions.#I want to look back and be grateful for the opportunity to help so many people as many helped me in my direst times of need.#I think that's the difference here. A lot of online folk didn't go through the poverty & severe abuse & bigotry I faced since I was born.#I went through hell and came out kinder in the end because I was at the end of the proverbial whip myself at several points before 16.#But trauma doesn't make you compassionate. You choose to be. And I choose to never repeat the cycle.#The day I do is the day I've lost both my mind and my spirit. I will never repeat my family's & abusers' horrific mistakes.#I will be kinder to a world that needs kindness now more than ever. Even if I scream my throat out forever doing so.#I don't need a voice to be heard.#Anyways sorry. I woke up on the desparate side of the bed. Thank you to all who fight the good fight.#Despite everything I've said I have so much more faith and hope now more than ever. We will prevail.#And thank you if you read all of these tags?? Safety love and solidarity to you you're the MVP. ;_; 💜
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