#and so now its iike

[enbydykeburnout]

almost three months on T, genders getting weird, might be gay???? question mark but like...in a boy direction ahhhh???????????

[weldnas]

-

[humanmorph]

I really truly would like them to get to meet the false prophet / puppet gur so so bad I think it could be so fun and cool but thinking about the possibility of 'what if figure rolls too well and gur isn't even there' makes me a little ill. imagine

[elegyofthemoon]

even though i personally associate you with FF stuff (specifically xiii) you're the genshin/honkai mutual in my head in tumblr terms haha

this is telling me i should work harder in blowing up everyones dash with hope estheims and crystal lesbians 🤔

[bowser14456]

....I named my traded Meowscarada Puss N Boots 😻

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

First year of marriage

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your first year of marriage is going to be very free and exciting this new chapter in your life is full of lots of new beginnings and adventures waiting for you during this year. I feel like this first year is very important to you and this marriage. You’re going to be traveling or moving a lot during this year as well. I see you having a lot of luck in your life things going your way for once. You and your future spouse had a very clear image of what life would be like after you got married so when you do you will follow through with these commitments. You may be receiving a trophy, award, certificate, license of some sort. This marriage is very balanced you and your future spouse are very compatible. You or your future spouse may work or get a job in law or a cop of some sort. You’re going to be planting your life long seeds like making a foundation for the many years and decades of love and life to come. I also see you just sitting back and wondering how this is happened like one day your reading this and the next your living life with your future spouse. You’re also going to be yourself more show more of you. I see you like creating something for yourself and your family like when a bird creates its nest so they can protect and have there babies so there may be some talk about children you may be tempted to have kids so early on in the marriage but I don’t see you having them right away. I also see that you feel very protected by your future spouse you feel like you can just relax now that you have them.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

You’re going to be on the right path you may have been feeling some nerves or “cold feet”. things are going to be moving very quickly after you two get married. You or your future spouse maybe even both careers is going to be important very much a hard worker Whatever this work is I see it as being very important and successful. This first year of marriage is very healing to the heart so much love and care. You may own a lot of pets with this person im seeing 2 dogs and a cat. This person is also very respected in their work. I do see y’all having a big vision about something like a house or land but you need money to get this so they are really putting in the work to be able to get this for you. There’s a lot of risk and investments that will be going into this relationship. your going to being feeling very secure you know that you will always have this person. Your future spouse Honors and respects you a lot. I feel like the masculine lets the feminine be in her energy and the feminine lets the masculine in his energy. The feminine in this relationship is mature, motherly, “house Wife” energy” you don’t even have to want or have kids yet but you radiate this energy. For some of you want kids I see a baby girl as your first. This first year of marriage is going to have lots of new things coming in for you i see it healing you emotionally a lot as well. You’re going to be realizing your purpose in life hearing “what was a made for” and this is what you were made for.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

Your first year of marriage is going to feel very rewarding there may have had to been lots and patience, waiting, trials and tribulations, challenges but you’re finally here and it’s finally paying off. You’re going to be celebrating this achievement. I do see you traveling a lot you may have went overseas for your honeymoon and it was really nice and relaxing. Your visions are Turing into reality you waited for these days for so long So much love and fulfillment. I feel Iike you manifested this I feel like one day you’re daydreaming about it and the next you’re living it. I feel like the years leading up to this marriage were really heavy like emotionally and physically and now that you can just breath it feels very peaceful. You or your future spouse may be very artistic or creative. The feminine here loves like a mother would very empathic, sensitive, compassionate and understanding very romantic as well. Yeah I do see things getting better for you two once you get married I don’t see this problem being between you and your future spouse but more of something or someone outside of the relationship maybe even long distance for some. This person definitely gives your princess treatment but I also see that you take care of this person really well to. Your future spouse makes you feel very emotionally secure.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

[croissanthemums]

soulmate au - @wolfstarmicrofic

Sirius trailed him with a heavy stomp, his hands grabbing Remus’ arms to stop him from walking away. “What the hell, Remus?! What’s your problem?”

Remus stopped in his tracks to turn towards Sirius. “My problem is that I love you!” he exclaimed before he could even stop himself from doing so. He snatched his arm back, balling his hands into a fist to prevent them from shaking, keeping it firmly at his sides.

Sirius stood right where he was, mouth slightly agape. The courage coursing through Remus’ veins was pushing him to say what he’s always wanted to, right from the second he realised what his feelings meant.

“I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what love was!” Remus paused to catch his breath, whilst also trying to drown out the drumming of his own heart. “I know I’m risking a lot saying this—our friendship—you! But fuck that—I…I can’t fucking stand this anymore. I can no longer fucking watch you mope about some bitch who doesn’t even give a single fuck about you—cos I love you and it hurts seeing you get hurt!”

“All this time I’ve been waiting for you to see me—actually see me! I was there when you were complaining about girls not wanting you. I was there when you endlessly whined after your exes broke up with you—I was fucking there!” Remus glared at Sirius, who still looked limp in his place. “When you started realising you like boys as well as girls and asked me if boys would find you attractive, I wanted to tell you then that it would be foolish for them not to see how wonderful you are and it would be their loss for not doing so—but I couldn’t cos you were my fucking friend.”

“When you asked me to set you up with someone gay—I was there, Sirius. Me. But you only saw me as a friend and nothing more. Nothing more!” Remus sighed exasperatingly. Throwing his frustrations at Sirius whilst telling him how he really feels was not a choice he would’ve done earlier today, or ever. But nature took its course and the universe told him to fuck it.

“Remus, I…” Sirius finally spoke, his eyes still wide. He raised his hand to reach Remus’ but seemed to changed his mind mid-way.

“What? No funny comebacks?” Remus challenged. The choice of letting his anger lead this conversation is much more ideal than actively contemplate the consequences of him admitting his feelings towards his best friend.

It was a choice between letting the rage out or letting the tears go. With the former, Remus could just pretend to be angry at Sirius. While the latter would eventually lead to a lifetime of hurt.

Not only was he breaking up their friendship by confessing, but saying how he feels out loud just made it seem more real.

“No.” Sirius replied, gulping. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down. Remus shouldn’t be looking but he was, not only that, he’s also turned on by it. “I’ve always seen you that way, Remus. Always.”

“What?” Remus blinked. It was his turn to be rendered mute. His head was swimming into thousands of different possibilities of what Sirius could’ve meant.

“You were the reason why I realised Iiked boys too.” he paused. “The moment I saw you on the train, with your stupid freckles and stupid hair and stupid smile—how could I not see you? The reason none of those relationships worked out was because of you—”

Remus scoffed, cutting Sirius off. “Oh, so now you’re blaming me?!”

“No! No! Of course not!” Sirius protested, his arms gestured into surrender. “I couldn’t stay in a relationship with them for long cos I didn’t like them as much as I do you! They could kiss me endlessly but the feeling it would give would never amount to the happiness I get when I’m simply next to you. You are the one I want, Remus. You’ve always been the one I want.”

“Then why do you keep dating other people?”

“Cos I’m a fucking knob and I didn’t know that you were someone I can have.”

Oh.

Oh.

Sirius took a step forward. “Please forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve done before. I can’t promise not to make stupid things again cos I know I’ll make more, but I swear that none of it will be done to hurt you.” he paused to take Remus’ hand, his eyes completely fixed on him. “Remus John Lupin, you may not believe in soulmates but I do—cos I believe I was put in this world to find you and love you.”

“And I believe I was put in this world to stop you from doing stupid things—well, more stupid things that could land you in Azkaban.” Remus replied. Sirius gave him a small smirk.

The warmth spreading throughout Remus’ entire body was undeniably strong. The love he has for Sirius Black—who’s a complete idiot—was stronger than the hatred he has in himself for falling for his bestfriend.

“I love you, Sirius.” Remus muttered. It didn’t take long for Sirius’ hands to cup Remus’ cheeks, capture his lips, and slide his tongue in. The way Remus imagined it happening before was magical, but the actual one was a hundred million times better.

Sirius broke the kiss to get a whiff of air, his forehead pressing into Remus’ as he ran his thumb across Remus’ cheek. “I love you so much more, Moony.”

[ruiniel]

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well! Hopefully with plenty of rest you will get well soon 🩶

Here’s an HC ask if you feel up to it:

Adrian x Bold/Flirty Reader

- The twins never happened and reader just stumbled upon Alucard in the forest some day, stunned by his beauty and grace.

- Reader has an occupation that requires them to go into the forest from time to time, as kind as Adrian, he started to help them out.

- Reader developed a crush on him as they gradually got to know each other. Bold as they are, they decided to take the first move by… you guessed it, flirting. The kind that ends with his face tinged with the loveliest pink.

- Adrian is still mourning over loss over family and friends, and only sees reader as a friend (a close friend? And a pretty friend. He doesn’t even know anymore.)

- Reader’s tactics slowly working. He starts to crave your company like he does with Sypha and Trevor.

- He stares at your lips, sometimes your behind. Averts his eyes as dhampirely as possible when he catches your returning gaze and thinks you haven’t notice. You do.

- “Accidental” touches on his thigh when passing something over; warm, ticklish breath near his sensitive ear while you stand behind him when he sits and reads. He swears you are driving him crazy.

- He may just snap one day. And you hope it comes soon.

Thank you, I'm getting there slowly but surely. Going off about fictional people helps the morale, y'know?

Oh a pining HC, and bold characters are so fun!

◈ It might be that your attitude in time could draw the other side of him to the surface... one he hasn't had the opportunity to explore much beyond nighttime ventures through the wilds, chasing the malevolent things lurking there: the thrill of the hunt. The side that goes "Let's find out..."

Remember that?

◈ His instincts are just as sharp in his humanoid form as in his wolf form, and he feels it: the scent of your attraction growing stronger, the way you can't control the impulse to try and get closer.

◈ He's wary, at first. But there is honesty about you, too, and that has a scent of its own, comforting and achingly sweet. He knows he's taking a gamble by trusting you but let's face it, if his friends have been gone for a while now in this context, he's certainly more in need of someone to share his time with than even he can admit to himself.

◈ Besides, since your encounters in the woods become more frequent, you seem unperturbed by his nature, even after he's told you more of himself and some (not all) of what he's done.

◈ He still feels immensely guilty about how it all came to pass, and misses his family. It's a very confusing time in his life and he doesn't want to burden you with that.

◈ He's also afraid you'd want nothing to do with him any longer if he did tell you everything, all the moments he can't forget, the scenes that play in his mind's eye over and over.

◈ You don't seem to be deterred by anything though, and with admiration he takes his metaphorical heart between his teeth one day and sits you down one afternoon, under an ancient oak tree where you sometimes share your lunch.

It all goes pleasantly enough. At one point you try to reach for a bottle, propping your hand on his leather-clad knee for support as you lift yourself to grab a hold of the glass container.

When you try to remove your hand, he stops you, his own hand over yours. "Why do you do these things?"

Nothing gets past Alucard when it comes to danger and battle but navigating interpersonal relationships? Not his forte. He knows it, you know it.

And so, you swallow before you answer. "I Iike it. Touching you."

"Why?" His eyes are earnest, and you appear out of your element for a moment before his bluntness. But he really, really looks like he wants, no, expects an answer.

"Does it bother you?"

He ignores your question completely. "I wonder if your hand will still be here, after I share with you what I have to say." All easy manner is gone from his attitude.

You watch him, bemused, but your hand stays right where it is, on his warm, tense thigh. He's just told you in no uncertain terms: I know what you're doing. I know you want me. You're still processing that, but the words that leave your mouth are: "Let's... find out?"

He takes a sharp intake of breath at that, watching you strangely. "I never told you how I ended up alone, did I?"

You shake your head, and wait. And listen.

By the time he's done, you're staring at the patterns of the blanket, and he's regretting having broken the image you'd probably concocted of him in your head.

"People make mistakes."

Alucard raises his head. The warm hand on his thigh is still there. "What?"

"I said, people make mistakes. And people sometimes must make difficult choices for reasons beyond them."

When you smile at him, when you tuck a strand of errant hair behind his ear and suddenly hug him, Alucard stays perfectly still: with shock, with... relief? But his response is so fierce you sigh in surprise, arms winding around you and holding you there. "You're not running away screaming," he whispers in your ear, feeling the little shudder running through you. He likes holding you, he likes being held. He craves it.

"No, but you would, if you knew the shape of my thoughts when it... comes to you."

He'd love to pull your head back, to stare into your eyes as you say it. And so: he does. "My dear, dear friend... I want to know everything."

That was a mix of HCs and a scene haha I take no responsibility *blames it on the meds*

[averywiseanimatedcat]

I’ve yet to see anyone talk about this:

The verse on the matchbox being highlighted so obviously stuck out to me. Neil is clever. He did this for some reason. I looked into this a while ago but only just got round to writing it out because I’ve been sick and had the time to hyper fixate on researching something I didn’t need to…

So buckle up because Job 41 is a parallel of the minisode scene when God is talking to Job. But I think the whole of Job 41 relates heavily to Crowleys character and his storyline because it’s about a sea snake.

Full warning this post is long, but it’s all important I promise.

Disclaimer you have to read if you’re gonna comment about me being wrong in my interpretation of Job 41: I am someone who doesn’t believe it’s possible to perfectly understand the bible. I’m not presenting anything as fact because there’s looottts of different interpretations of literally everything in the bible. This is my interpretation of the chapter. I don’t care if you think I’m wrong cause you have a double degree in know it all religious studies. Disclaimer over.

So where does the verse come from?

Job 41:19

‘Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out’

This verse is part of Gods description of a leviathan that takes up most of the second part of chapter 41 in the book of Job. If you want to read the entire chapter before reading this I’ll paste it at the bottom of the post. It’s from the King James version. You can also just google it.

But what’s a leviathan? Glad you asked. I spent to long looking it up.

Leviathans. The general consensus is that the creature referred to in Job 41 is some kind of sea monster. The Hebrew word that translates to Leviathan (Livyatan) appears six times in the Old Testament. One of them is in Job 41. The word is derived from the root Iwy or ‘ twist, coil’ and means ‘the sinuous one.’ So I think we can establish that this creature is at least indicated to be snake-like. It could be a crocodile, a whale, a dragon, a snake, or just an indescribable monster. But we have no modern reference because this creature doesn’t exist in modern times if it ever existed at all. So for the purpose of relating it to the show, I think its important to note that one of the interpretations is that the leviathan is a snake like creature or a sea serpent Iike what’s shown in this beautiful piece of art.

The Destruction of Leviathan by Gustave Doré (1865)

Now, these two verses from the first part of Job 41 are important,

Job 41:10

None is so fierce that dare stir him up: who then is able to stand before me?

Job 41:4

Will he make a covenant with thee? Will thou take him for a servent forever?

Prior to chapter 41 Job, has been questioning God about the mysteries of creation. God responds by chastising Job for questioning him and describing how Job would not be able to subdue the great leviathan and make him his servant, so why does he think he has a right to question god?

And in our minisode Job comes back from talking to god and says:

“I think the point was, if you want answers, come back when you can make a whale.”

What’s happening when Azirpahale and Crowley come across God talking to Job is exactly what’s happening in Job 41. I also noted that in the minisode Job said God talked alot about whales. Which is funny, because it seemed random at the time, but one interpretation of the ‘leviathan’ is that it’s some kind of whale.

So that scene in the minsode is based off of Job 41! Amazing. But I don’t think the connections end there…

The more obvious potential reference to Crowley in Job 41 is how God describes the leviathan being able to spit fire. The verse on the matchbox comes from this part of the chapter.

Job 41:19

Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out

Job 41:20

Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron

Job 41:21

His breath kindleth coals, and flames goeth out of his mouth

We know Crowley has the ability to summon fire. He summoned that giant sun thing that shoots fireballs to smite goats at the start of the minisode, then he sets fire to the house before saving Job’s children. So leviathan/sea serpent spits fire, our fav snake from Eden can summon fire. Fire is also just quite central to his storyline with the bookshop fire, the road/his Bentley setting fire, Heaven trying to burn Aziraphale with fire and the bombing of the church when he saves Aziraphales books.

But there’s some less obvious connections in Job 41 to Crowley. There’sa few interesting verses here that seem to relate to Crowley

Job 41:4

Will he make a covenant with thee? wilt thou take him for a servant for ever?

God isn’t talking about killing the leviathan, he’s talking about enslaving it

Job 41:24

His heart is firm as a stone: yea, as hard as a piece of nether millstone

Nether millstones, according to my googling, are millstones obviously, but it’s also a phrase that indicates something that is tough and unyielding, unlikely to submit. It’s describing the leviathan being unyielding to negotiations. God also says this about the leviathan,

Job 41:29

Darts are counted as stubble: he laughter at the shaking of a spear

I couldn’t help but think all these verses are very Crowley sounding. He is stubborn and willfull, unable to be controlled and won’t submit to servitude. He (both actually and metaphorically) laughed in hell's face when he and Aziraphale were body doubling and the holy water didn’t destroy him.

Crowleys wilfulness and refusal to be subjugated is the reason he fell in the first place. It’s the reason he fell out with Hell as well, he refuses to fully go along with either side. He believes in autonomy and freedom. He said no to Aziraphale because he cannot return to a life he perceives as slavery, especially as Aziraphales ‘second in command’. He doesn’t want to be under anyones command or to command anyone. It’s so against his very nature to return that the suggestion was ridiculous to him. And this chapter of Job is a parallel in that God uses the leviathan as an example because it’s ridiculous to imagine a giant sea monster being enslaved by a human to do his bidding. Just like in the minisode how it’s ridiculous to tell Job to make whales before he can ask God anything.

But that’s the point. That’s the whole conflict of the show, Gods ridiculous answer to everything is that it’s ‘ineffable’ and therefore you can’t ask questions.

I also think it’s also fitting that the leviathan is perceived to be a monster that must be slain or enslaved.

And it makes me think of how Crowley has always been labelled as evil because he fell. I think of how, at heart, he is truly gentle and kind, he’s a starmaker. But his fall, his appearance, his desire to be autonomous and his grey moral campus make him feared and a target. He’s a boat rocker, he keeps asking questions even when he gets told ridiculous answers and that’s the problem for those in power. It makes me think of this quote

“Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?”

-Daughter by Janice Lee.

So in conclusion, not only is Job 41 the chapter that would’ve inspired the scene where Job is talking to god, I think Crowley represents the leviathan being discussed in Job 41.

So do I think this has any meaning/hint to season 3?

I don’t think there’s a direct hint. But it reminded me that Crowleys character is truly unrelenting. He’s a nether millstone. And he won’t give up that easily. He absolutely won’t submit to anyone, and he’s shown time and time again that his blustering about running away disappears as soon as someone or something he cares about is in danger (ie Aziraphale). And the second coming will also threaten his creation (the universe) so I’m really hoping we will see so much more of Crowleys power and history in S3.

I’m really happy I looked into this, because I could be completely off the deep end with this analysis but it actually wouldn’t even matter because this universe Terry and Neil’s created is built around it being transposable. You can put any lens you want on it. And I had fun deep diving into Job 41. I never thought I’d ever say I had fun reading the bible but Neil you did it. Sneaky buggar.

Full chapter of Job 41:

41 Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord which thou lettest down?

2 Canst thou put an hook into his nose? or bore his jaw through with a thorn?

3 Will he make many supplications unto thee? will he speak soft words unto thee?

4 Will he make a covenant with thee? wilt thou take him for a servant for ever?

5 Wilt thou play with him as with a bird? or wilt thou bind him for thy maidens?

6 Shall the companions make a banquet of him? shall they part him among the merchants?

7 Canst thou fill his skin with barbed irons? or his head with fish spears?

8 Lay thine hand upon him, remember the battle, do no more.

9 Behold, the hope of him is in vain: shall not one be cast down even at the sight of him?

10 None is so fierce that dare stir him up: who then is able to stand before me?

11 Who hath prevented me, that I should repay him? whatsoever is under the whole heaven is mine.

12 I will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor his comely proportion.

13 Who can discover the face of his garment? or who can come to him with his double bridle?

14 Who can open the doors of his face? his teeth are terrible round about.

15 His scales are his pride, shut up together as with a close seal.

16 One is so near to another, that no air can come between them.

17 They are joined one to another, they stick together, that they cannot be sundered.

18 By his neesings a light doth shine, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning.

19 Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out.

20 Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron.

21 His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth.

22 In his neck remaineth strength, and sorrow is turned into joy before him.

23 The flakes of his flesh are joined together: they are firm in themselves; they cannot be moved.

24 His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone.

25 When he raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid: by reason of breakings they purify themselves.

26 The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the dart, nor the habergeon.

27 He esteemeth iron as straw, and brass as rotten wood.

28 The arrow cannot make him flee: slingstones are turned with him into stubble.

29 Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear.

30 Sharp stones are under him: he spreadeth sharp pointed things upon the mire.

31 He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment.

32 He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary.

33 Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear.

34 He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride.

[chestcongestion]

Demon-to-Demon Ch.5/5: Ha//zbin Ho/tel

Warnings: Contagion, Mess, Plot thread might still be a bit too close to current events for comfort even if it has nothing to do with current events

Word Count: 9,917

This has been a wonderful journey, and it's super satisfying to have wrapped it all up so I can work on new things! This was an absolute joy to write, thank you guys so much for all of the incredible feedback. As always, the fic is under the cut, and I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave prompts or rqs for certain characters in my askbox.

  “Eh’KzZssCHEW! Eh’ksScHEW! Eh’KSsSHiih!” Charlie’s erratic sneezing roused her ailing friends from their messy slumber. Tiny starbursts of magical fireworks appeared after each sneeze, crackling and popping around Charlie’s head.

“Fuck’s sake- snFF- you sneeze like there’s somethin’ inside you tryin’ to rip its way out,” Angel croaked, rubbing underneath his tired eyes as he tossed Charlie a box of tissues. 

“That’s what it fe-eel’s li-iike…EHH’KSHHHUE! H-HEH’KSssHhiew! Eh’KzZCHEW!,” Charlie replied, pinching a few tissues around her nose and letting loose a heavy, gurgling blow, sneaking a peek at her soiled tissue and wincing in disgust, “Is a’dybody else’s uhb…snff!... ‘stuff’...sorta yellow?” 

“Nope!” Niffty said proudly from her little nest of blankets. 

Angel pulled one of his soiled tissues out of the trash can next to the sofa, peeling it open to look inside, “Uhh… kinda? It’s really pale yellow,” he said, turning his head to cough into his elbow, his spasming chest rousing Husk from his comfortable position pressed against his torso underneath the blankets. 

Charlie flashed Angel with the contents of her tissue, wrinkling her nose with a damp, heavy sniffle, “I thig’k mbine is a little brighter…snRK!,” she said. 

Angel chewed nervously on a slender finger, “Shit, that is pretty yellow,” he replied, “I don’t think it means nothin’, though… it’s probably just cause you’re so clogged up.” 

“Probably… E-EHH’TsSHIEW! ‘Tshhiew! ‘TSssHIIEW!,” Charlie drowsily ran her sleeve under her streaming nostrils, wincing at the friction from the fabric of her pajamas stinging her raw skin, “Oww.” 

“It’s 9 in the morning, 666 News should be starting now!” Niffty announced, turning on the chunky cathode ray television and watching the screen with slight anticipation. 

The 666 News theme leaked from the television set’s speakers, and the transition graphic appeared, only to begin broadcasting a sleeping Katie Killjoy, curled up in bed and feverishly clutching one of her pillows as though it were a stuffed animal. The anchorwoman was snoring heavily, unappealing bags under her eyes and crumpled-up tissues scattered across her bed. 

“Miss… Miss Killjoy, we’re live,” the intern behind the camcorder whispered. 

Katie gave no reply, letting out a hacking cough into her pillow, but still fast asleep, even as the intern attempted to shake her awake. 

“Uhm… we will… we will be back with your update on day number 40 of the Red Spread… after these messages,” the intern said in a meek voice, still hiding behind the camcorder, “Shit… which button do I press to cut to commercial?!”  

The video feed for 666 News quickly fizzled out, cutting to a random commercial for VoxTech night vision goggles. 

“Awww, that was cute, Katie was sleepy,” Niffty giggled. 

“Her and me both,” Angel sighed, wiping his drippy nostrils with a tissue, ��I can’t fuckin’ believe I’ve been… Hh… Hhn’Ktshh! Hah’KSshuhh! Ha-ktshhew!...’Ksshhiew!- been sick for almost two months.” 

“I can’t believe it either, this is incredibly suspicious,” Vaggie pointed out as she walked into the parlor with a small bowl of cold water, setting it down on a side table and wringing out the face towel that was resting in it, placing it on Alastor’s forehead and trying not to acknowledge the radio demon’s whimpering response to the cold fabric. 

“Mbaybe we could check to see- snff!- if this has ever happened before,” Charlie proposed, plucking two more tissues out of the box and blowing her nose. 

“I can’t… the library where the historical archive is held is closed to visitors because all of the staff are sick,” Vaggie said with a defeated sigh, “I don’t know where else I could get that kind of information.” 

Charlie gasped, flapping her hands until her excited cheering devolved into a hoarse cough, “Ow… sorry,” she said, clearing her throat, “Mby dad would probably be able to help- snff!- but he does’dt have his phone od hib.”

“Why doesn’t he have his phone?” Vaggie asked, walking over to Charlie’s armchair and gently massaging her girlfriend’s tender, puffy sinuses with gentle fingers.

Charlie blew her nose again in an attempt to regain access to her consonants, “He dropped it on the-ehh…EH’Kshhiew!- the Hellivator, and it got stepped on… I thig’k he’s stayi’g in the Lust ring right now,” she pondered, whipping out her phone and coughing into her elbow, her chest aching, “I cad call Asmodeus, he’s who Dad is visiting with.” 

Multiple rings down, in Hell’s Lust ring, Lucifer was kicking his feet at his makeshift-brother’s kitchen island in his massive penthouse, waiting for Asmodeus to finish drinking his morning coffee. 

“So… I can’t help but notice your little friend isn’t joining us for breakfast this morning,” Lucifer teased, taking a hefty bite of his powdered sugar covered pancake. 

“He’s sleeping in, he checked in with some of my incubi who work in Pride the other day… went straight to bed when he came home, I think he might be comin’ down with something,” Asmodeus replied, nervously circling the rim of his mug with a single finger. 

Footsteps coming into the kitchen made Asmodeus pause, peeking over the kitchen island to see the sleepy face of his cyborg life partner. 

“I wasn’t eavesdropping-” Fizzarolli said, pausing to cough, “-I promise.” 

“G’morning, Short Stuff,” Lucifer greeted with a wave, leaning over the kitchen island to see the imp from his bar stool. 

Fizzarolli shot Lucifer a nervous half-bow, half-wave, “Hi… Your Majesty?” he replied before grabbing a glass from the dish rack near the sink and filling it with tap water. 

“Please, Lucifer is fine, anyone Asmodeus considers family is family to me,” Lucifer said with a smile, taking another massive bite of his pancake, “There’s still a few flapjacks left if you want one.” 

“I’m okay,” Fizz insisted, guzzling down his glass of water before pouring himself another one. 

“Froggie, you good? I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you choose to drink water,” Asmodeus laughed. 

“My throat hurts,” Fizzarolli said, knocking back another glass of water, “I don’t want it to be something water can’t fix, so I’m just gonna chug until it goes away.” 

“Okay, denial doesn’t work if you acknowledge that you’re in denial, Fizzie,” Asmodeus teased, gently pulling a fourth glass of water out of the imp’s hands and hoisting Fizzarolli into his lap. 

“Those fucking incubus assholes got me sick,” Fizzarolli grumbled, folding his arms with a frown, only to melt into a relaxed smile upon Asmodeus’s warm fingertips massaging his swollen, tender lymph nodes, “Mmm… that feels good.” 

Asmodeus smiled, “Good, glad that helps… you do feel a little warm, though,” he said, cautiously bringing his other hand down and pressing his palm against Fizz’s forehead. 

“I should’ve known those pricks were carrying something, one of ‘em mentioned something going around in the Pride ring, but I didn’t pay close enough attentionn- Hnk’Tshhuh!” Fizzarolli muttered, using a napkin Asmodeus handed him as a makeshift tissue. 

Asmodeus nodded, suddenly remembering a thought he’d had earlier, and turning to Lucifer, “Speakin’ of Pride, I’m surprised your baby girl hasn’t called you since you’ve been here,” he said. 

“She probably has… I don’t have a phone ‘cause mine got crushed on the Hellivator,” Lucifer sighed, “I can’t just make myself a new one because it won’t have cell service… and I don’t remember the numbers of half my contacts list.” 

Asmodeus rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone after it vibrated in his pocket, checking to see who was calling so early, “Oh! Speak of the devil, she’s callin’ me right now!” he said, answering the video call and setting Fizzarolli back down on the floor so he could focus. 

The call finished connecting, and Asmodeus was met with the image of a sleepy-looking Charlie, whose face brightened when she realized that the call had been answered.

“Uncle Ozzie!” Charlie cheered drowsily, smiling at her phone’s front-facing camera and shooting the King of Lust an eager wave. 

“Chucky Ducky!!” Asmodeus greeted, “It’s been too long, baby girl, how’s it goin’?” 

“It’s fide…snfff!... I’b mbaki’g pretty decent progress od mby passio’d project…snRK!...sorry, ‘scuse mbe…eee..Ehh…Eh’kshuu! Eh’KsSshhew! Eh’KzZsschEW!,” Charlie rambled, dabbing at her chapped nose with a tissue after her explosive sneeze, “Sorry…” 

Asmodeus frowned, “Gesundheit,” he said, noticing Charlie’s flushed cheeks and sunken, tired eyes, “Everything okay? You look tired… and you sound like you’re gettin’ a cold.” 

Charlie blew her nose, tossing the damp tissue into the trash, “Yeah- snFF!- I’b a little stuffed up, but I’b fide- EH’DdtshhIEW! EH’Kshhue! Ihh-EH’KSzZshew!... ‘Scuse be,” she said, blowing her nose and wincing at the ache of congestion moving through her raw sinuses. 

“Only a little?” Asmodeus asked, unable to mask his concern. 

“Does it sou’d that bad?” Charlie asked in reply, wrinkling her nose with a dense, heavy sniffle that accomplished nothing, her sinuses fighting the shift in pressure with a squeak. 

“It sounds awful,” Asmodeus said, fidgeting with the fabric of his shirt as worry tied his stomach in knots. 

“I k’dow… I’b sorry, it probably sou’ds ridiculous- snff!- but blowi’g mby ndose does’dt do a’dythi’g… EHh’Tsshew! Eh’KSHHEWW! ‘ksSHEW!...snff-snff!... Oh! That feels a little better,” Charlie croaked, her violent sneeze seemingly popping the cork on her sinuses, allowing her to give her nose a productive gurgling blow, “Phew… that was ni-iice Eihh’KSHHUE! Eh’ksschuhh! Eh’ksschew! Heh’KSshew- ‘Kshhew!- K’SSHHEW!” 

 Asmodeus opened his mouth to speak, but quickly realized that Charlie’s attention had been consumed by her fit. Peering over his phone, Asmodeus shot his makeshift brother a concerned look. 

“I’m finished- snFF!- sorry… phew, that was a lot,” Charlie said with a wet sniffle, the skin around her nose an angry shade of pink, and her nostrils shiny- constantly threatening to leak. 

“You wanna talk to your dad? He’s right next to me, was just in the middle of sayin’ that he can’t get a new phone until he goes back to Pride cause he can’t conjure one with cell service,” Asmodeus scoffed, rolling his eyes at Lucifer from the other end of the counter. 

“Yes, please,” Charlie replied. 

Asmodeus passed Lucifer his phone, getting down from his bar stool and hoisting Fizzarolli in his arms, “While they talk, let’s get you, taken care of,” he whispered, kissing his lover’s neck and smiling at the hoarse giggle Fizz gave in response. 

“Charlie!” Lucifer cheered, staring at Asmodeus’s phone and shooting his daughter an eager wave. 

“Hi Dad- Hh’DddTSHHEW! EH’Kshhew! ‘Kshhew!- Sorry,” Charlie greeted, wiping her nose off with a tissue. 

“Bless you! I’m so sorry you’re sick, Sweetie- I-if you need me to, I can cut my tour short and come back home!” Lucifer said enthusiastically, carefully examining his daughter’s exhausted eyes and her streaming nostrils, “Looks like it’s really takin’ a lot out of you.” 

“I’mb fide- EH’Kshhhue! Eh’kshhew!- Plus, you can’t get back to Pentagramb City, they shut down the Hellivator to the Pride Ring,” Charlie explained. 

“Why?” Lucifer asked, nervously toying with a strand of his hair. 

“There’s this really bad infectio’d going around… snFff! Snff-snff!... it’s really contagious, so they wanted to keep it contained to Pride since it’s already infected  96% of the city,” Charlie replied, shivering and pulling her blanket tighter around her, “Sorry about the camera shaki’g… I’b cold.” 

Lucifer stared at Asmodeus’s phone in shock, “I’m sorry… what?!” he exclaimed. 

“I take it fro’b your reactio’d that this has’dt happened in Hell before,” 

“Nope! No it has not!” Lucifer exclaimed, “Sorry! Sorry, I’m not panicking, I’m not panicking, this is fine!” 

Charlie turned away from her phone to cough, a heavy, barking cough that sounded slightly painful, “It’s okay, Dad, relax,” she said, “Vaggie is planning on heading out to get to the bottom of it! We’ve got this- eh…Eh’ktsshiew!- ‘scuse mbe.” 

“Okay… i-if you’re sure, take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to call Asmodeus again if you wanna talk to me, alright?” Lucifer requested, staring at his daughter’s feverish face and shimmering eyes. 

“Okay Dad, I will,” Charlie replied, “I thig’k I’m gonna take a nap. Talk to you later, Dad.” 

Lucifer waved his daughter goodbye and hung up the phone right as Asmodeus re-entered the room, noticeably impless. 

“Fizz’s head hit the pillow and he practically passed out… so cute,” Asmodeus crooned before regaining focus, “So, what’s up with my niece? I feel bad, she sounded awful.” 

“Somethin’s going around in the Pride ring, apparently it’s gotten so bad that they shut down the Hellivator,” Lucifer said, trailing off at the end of his sentence as he and Asmodeus exchanged a look. 

 “My demons can travel ring-to-ring when the Hellivator is closed by going topside and coming back through a different portal with their crystals,” Asmodeus mumbled, chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek, “And Fizz got sick after meeting up with a bunch of incubi…who were in the Pride ring.” 

Lucifer’s eye twitched audibly. 

“The incubi he met with work distribution at my factory,” Asmodeus said, his tone becoming manic as he paced around his kitchen. 

Lucifer gripped the back of his head with both hands, clawing at his blonde hair, “It’s no big deal, Oz, it only infected 96% of Pentagram City!” he exclaimed, rocking in his seat. 

Asmodeus leaned against his kitchen counter, gripping his phone desperately in his left hand before straightening his posture, “I’m gonna go make some phone calls and I’m gonna try really hard not to panic,” he said, taking a deep breath before leaving the room. 

Lucifer sat alone at the kitchen counter, tracing doodles into the marble with his fingertips, “Let’s hope Maggie knows what she’s doing,” he muttered to himself, “-Vaggie… her name’s Vaggie.” 

Three rings up, back in Pentagram City, Vaggie was preparing to leave the hotel on her incredibly makeshift hero’s journey. 

“Okay, I am going out to try and get to the bottom of this whole thing, while I am gone, Niffty is in charge because she is the most lucid out of all of you, understood?” Vaggie asked the gathering of barely-awake patients as she paced back and forth through the parlor. 

“Got it- Ahh’KsShhiew!-” Angel replied, gently massaging his tender sinuses with his fingertips. 

“There’s a first time for everything,” Husk chuckled from his position nuzzled against Angel’s chest.  

“Okay Niffty, Alastor gets a dose of fever reducer every three hours, I set an alarm on your phone for you and it’s on the wall in case you forget. Everyone else only gets one dose a day at 8pm, got it?” Vaggie asked, brushing Niffty’s bangs away from her face.  

“Kay!” Niffty replied, swiping the back of her wrist against her face to fend off an itch. 

“Behave yourselves until I get back, hopefully I’ll be back with some answers and a way to treat this thing,” Vaggie said with a nervous sigh, “Wish me luck.” 

Angel shot Vaggie a drowsy thumbs up, Husk providing a thumbs up of his own from under the blankets. 

“Good luck Vaggie,” Charlie yawned, draped across the armchair with KeeKee in her lap. 

“Fingers crossed, my dear- snff!- because if your efforts turn fruitless we’re all royally fucked… Hnk’tshhew! ‘Kshh! Hh’kzZhht!” Alastor said deliriously from the loveseat, staring at Vaggie with rheumy eyes. 

Vaggie gave her girlfriend and friends a final farewell and set off towards the Weapons District of Pentagram city. Alastor- when he was still lucid- grumbled about Carmilla almost constantly, chastising her for her unsanitary habits and ‘careless workaholism’ until he was blue in the face, so obviously she was a significant piece of the puzzle. 

After a good half hour of walking through the empty streets, Vaggie arrived at the receiving entrance to the Carmine Weapons Facility, banging on the back door in a way that felt far too familiar. 

“Fuck… how do I open this thing?!” Vaggie asked herself through clenched teeth, jumping up and peering at the surveillance camera attached to the peep hole in the door, “Carmilla- cabron- I know you’re in there!” 

“SnfF! We have a front door y’know,” Clara announced from behind the receiving entrance door as she pulled it up to let Vaggie inside, “Mom’s in her bedroom- Iih’tshuu! Hih’tshhuuw!- ‘scuse me.” 

“Thanks, sorry… keep forgetting I don’t have to sneak in through the back anymore,” Vaggie said, chuckling as she rubbed the back of her neck. 

“It’s fine,” Clara replied, “Mom’s room is on the second floor, furthest door on the right.” 

Vaggie nodded, quietly sneaking up the steps and down the dark hallways until she reached a set of greyish-purple double doors, “Carmine?” she called, patiently waiting for a response. 

“H-hihh…HIH’KtsSHUHH! Hih’KSsSHUH!... Snff!...Come in,” 

Vaggie carefully opened both doors, slipping inside as they closed with a thud behind her, “Miss Carmine, I-” she began, only to trail off upon noticing the sight in front of her. 

Carmilla was wearing navy blue sweat pants and a bleach-stained T-shirt from an old Verosika Mayday concert, her hair was put aside in a slightly-messy fishtail braid, and she was sat up in bed, cross-legged on top of her blankets, playing video games. 

“I didn’t think you’d be into this sort of thing,” Vaggie said, bewildered, “Slaughterhouse V- Collector’s Edition…” 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, not taking her focus away from her game even as she muffled a ticklish cough behind clenched teeth, “I normally don’t have time to play,” she remarked, “I’ve beaten this one twice and I’m going for my third run on a new save- snff!” 

Vaggie winced at the raspy quality of Carmilla’s voice, but said nothing of it, “You seem… surprisingly lucid,” she said. 

“One of the perks of selling things to all of Hell is that you have connections to all of Hell,” Carmilla snickered, gesturing towards her nightstand with her head, still mashing buttons on her controller. 

Vaggie followed Carmilla’s gesture with her eyes, picking up a pink bottle full of blue liquid medicine, “Sloth Pharmaceuticals… you’re taking drugs from the sloth ring?” she asked. 

“Good shit,” Carmilla said, feeling her throat struggle as her voice cracked, wrenching her eyes shut briefly to clear her throat, “Might not be able to fix the rest of me, but keeping my temperature under control has been great.” 

“Nice… can we talk? I have some questions I wanted to ask you,” Vaggie requested, still enamored with the speed at which Carmilla was pressing buttons. 

Carmilla shot Vaggie a brief nod, pausing her game and setting her controller aside before reaching over to grab a handful of tissues, blowing her ‘nose’ until the tissues were damp, “H-hih’tshhuh! Hih’KTSCHUHH!...snFF!” 

“Do you remember anything from the day you got sick?” Vaggie asked. 

“I was-” Carmilla paused to cough, “-on a walk in the Doomsday District, and I went shopping for nail polish… that’s basically iihh- H-hihh’ktshhuh! Hih’ksshh!” 

“Did you come across anyone else who was acting suspicious? Or anyone else who looked or sounded different?” Vaggie asked, trying to piece things together. 

“Nope,” Carmilla replied, grabbing the reusable cup from her bedside table and taking eager gulps from it, only breaking away to cough hoarsely into her elbow before taking another sip. 

“Water?” Vaggie asked. 

“Yes, with mango and honey… and Beelzejuice,” Carmilla said, choking back another hoarse cough and taking a few heavy chugs from her cup. 

Suddenly, as though a gust of air blew through her bedroom, Carmilla shivered, rubbing her upper arms with her large hands and struggling to contain the trickle of mess down her face with a few wet sniffles. Desperate, Carmilla burrowed slightly under her covers, tucking her legs and feet under her blanket and fighting against her teeth to keep them from chattering. 

“Are you okay?” Vaggie asked, her fingertips twitching as she watched Carmilla give a shuddering exhale, noticing the skin on her cheeks was tinged a pinkish-red. 

“My medicine just w-wore off… snff!...I can’t take any more for four hours or it’ll damage my li-Iihh-HIH’KTSCHUHH! Hih’KssHHUH! Hnk’TShh! Hi-IH’KTSsXHHT! Hih’KTSHHUEW!- liver… snFFF!” Carmilla replied, plucking three tissues out of the box on her bed and loudly blowing her ‘nose’ with a resounding honk that sounded like her sinuses were vibrating, “Euch…” 

Vaggie walked closer to Carmilla’s bedside, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed, and reaching out to tuck a strand of Carmilla’s hair away from her fever-warmed face, “Are you sure there’s nothing that happened the day you got sick? I know it’s hard to remember,” she asked. 

Carmilla wracked her brain, briefly turning away from Vaggie to cover a hacking cough with her arm, one throat-scraping cough coming after another until her itchy, sensitive lungs were satisfied and her voice had been thoroughly wrecked. 

Upon regaining her composure, catching her breath, and taking a big sip from her water mixture, Carmilla turned back to address Vaggie, “I uhm-” she paused, clearing her throat with the harshest grunt she could manage, “-when I was out on my walk- snff!- there were pockets of that red mist- Hih’ktshh! Hnk’Txht!- hanging in the air. I stopped twice to smell them because the mist smelled like flowers… I think my throat started to feel sore after the second time.” 

Vaggie grinned, two pieces of the puzzle finally managing to click together in her head, “You have no idea how helpful that is, Miss Carmine,” she said with a bright smile, “I just need to find the source of the mist… and hopefully that’ll bring us one step closer to finding a treatment!” 

“Well- snRK!- ‘scuse mbe… if you’re going to try and find where it’s coming from on foot, it’ll take a long time, at this point the mist covers half of Pentagram City now, you’d need someone who could point and zoom on any random area in town to see if you can find the source,” Carmilla pointed out, her entire body being rattled by a violent shiver, causing her to slide a bit further under her blankets, pulling them up to her chest. 

“I don’t even know if there’s anyone in town who fits that description who’d be willing to help me,” Vaggie sighed, tugging at her lower eyelids in frustration, “This is going to take forever.” 

Vaggie’s grumbling was interrupted by Carmilla’s flat screen television swapping from her paused game to an emergency broadcast of 666 News, the blaring music making Vaggie jump out of her skin. 

“What the hell?! If this jump cut ruins my save file I’m going to-” Carmilla waved a hand in front of her face as her sinuses itched, “-to… to… Hih’Kschhuh! Hih’KTshuhhh! Hi-Ihh’KSHHUuw!... nevermind.” 

“Good Afternoon citizens of Pentagram City, I apologize for the lateness of this news bulletin, our esteemed anchorwoman Miss Killjoy is incapacitated at present, so I, CEO of VoxTech and head of the VoxTech Broadcast Network, will be delivering today’s news!” Vox greeted from the other side of the screen with a charming smile. 

Vaggie stared at Carmilla’s VoxTech television in awe, “I forgot about him… the Voyeurscopes capture footage all over town 24/7,” she muttered to herself, “I have to try and talk to him.”  

“Welcome to day number 40 of the Red Spread, while infection rates seem to have capped out at 96% of Pentagram City, we’ve received word from Imp City and neighboring territories in the Pride ring that infections have raged out of control practically overnight,” Vox explained, gesturing to a bar graph that was next to him on screen, “With the infection coverage added up, The Red Spread has infected approximately 79% of the Pride Ring.” 

Carmilla folded her arms, “I can’t believe he interrupted my game for this… Hi-ihh’KSshhuh!...Hnk’tchew!” she grumbled, scrubbing the back of her hand under her nostrils to wrestle with the ever-building itch in her sinuses.

“While research is still being conducted with an incredibly reduced team, treatment options that completely eradicate infection are still nonexistent,” Vox said, shifting from his usual broadcast grin into something more somber and collected, “In spite of this infection raging on, no severe complications or mortalities have been observed.” 

Vaggie continued watching, scrolling through her phone in between glances at the screen to try and get the location of the Vees’ studio tower on the Northwest side of the Pentagram. After a bit of searching, the studio tower wasn’t very far from the Carmine Weapons factory, she could make it there in about half an hour if she hurried. 

“We are also pleased to announce that due to this ongoing crisis, we have not released our typical programming block due to new material not being filmed with the majority of our staff out sick,” Vox began, clasping his hands together and returning to his charming smile, “so the VoxTech Broadcast Network will be operating free-of-charge for the remainder of this tumultuous time, and our premium network clients will be refunded for the past two months of service. Thank you for your continued patronage, Pentagram City!” 

With those words, the emergency news broadcast ended and Carmilla’s screen returned to her paused playthrough of Slaughterhouse V, which caused her to let out a sigh of relief that quickly devolved into a rough, wheezy cough, that only let up when Vaggie gave Carmilla an anxious pat on the back. 

“I’m going to try and speak with Vox, he might be exactly who I need to help me find the source of the Red Spread,” Vaggie said with a determined look on her face, “Do you need anything before I leave?” 

Carmilla fought back another febrile shiver, sniffling pitifully and burying herself further into her blankets, “Not really,” she yawned, her voice still painfully hoarse, “just turn out the lights on your way out- the switch on the wall- I’m too tired to play with this stupid fever… I think I’ll just take a nap.” 

“Sounds like a plan, rest well,” Vaggie said, brushing a strand of Carmilla’s hair out of her face after she got comfortable under the covers, turning to leave the room and flipping the switch on Carmilla’s bedroom wall to turn off the overhead lights, “Oh… by the way, I made that recipe you gave me, it was good. Thanks again for that.” 

Carmilla yawned, stretching out and clutching her pillow like a stuffed animal, “Don’t mention it… Hnk’Tchew! Hi-Ih’Ktshhew!” she replied drowsily, her eyelids drooping as she slowly fell into a peaceful sleep, her slight snoring audible from behind her bedroom door. 

Gathering herself and preparing for another lengthy walk, Vaggie wandered down the halls of the factory until she managed to find the front door, heading out and following the path laid out by her phone’s GPS system toward the Vees’ studio tower. 

On her walk, Vaggie was stunned by the empty streets, not a person in sight for blocks and blocks, and occasional sniffling, coughing, and sneezing could be heard- albeit muffled- from the windows of the various apartment buildings. 

Eventually, Vaggie reached the revolving front door to the Vees’ broadcast tower, better known as the VoxTech Enterprises headquarters. Crossing her fingers, Vaggie slipped through the revolving door and was surprised to find that the building was still teeming with noticeably-healthy workers and interns… and also a handful of noticeably-ill ones, including the runny-nosed cat demon who was running the front desk on the ground floor. 

“Welcombe to VoxTech E’dterprises- SnFF!- how cad I help you today?” the secretary asked, looking at Vaggie from her desk as she sifted through various papers. 

“I- I’d like to speak to Vox,” Vaggie said with a patient smile as the secretary loudly blew her nose before tossing her crumpled tissue in the trash can next to her desk. 

“You’re id luck, due to the Red Spread- Ih’pshew! I-ihh’pSshew!- his schedule is wide opend… I’ll let hib kdow you’re od your way up- SnRK!- uch, ‘scuse be,” the secretary said, dabbing at her sensitive nostrils with a tissue, her sniffling accomplishing virtually nothing outside of slightly shifting the congestion packed into her head. 

“Thank you… I’m sorry you have to work while you’re sick,” Vaggie said, attempting to offer sympathy, looking a bit confused when the secretary chuckled. 

“It’s fide… I was healthy whe’d I cabe id this mbordi’g… it’s hit mbe like a ton of bricks… Ih’pshew! Ih’pSzzshieww!... I cad’t wait to go home and take a ndice hot bath and crawl into bed,” the secretary replied, giving a wistful sigh before plucking two more tissues out of the box on her desk and pinching them over her sensitive nostrils, “i-iHh’TsSshiew! Ih’pshew! IH’PSshiew!” 

“Bless you,” Vaggie said nervously, watching the secretary pull out another handful of tissues, emptying her sinuses with a heavy gurgling blow, her eyes beginning to water.

“Thag’k you,” the secretary replied, pushing a button on the phone at her desk and waiting until the line clicked to speak, “Mbister Vox, there’s someone here to speak with you- Ih’kshhew!- mby apologies, Sir.” 

“Send them up, I’m on the 30th floor… bless you, by the way, feel free to head home if you can’t finish the rest of your shift,” Vox replied from the other end of the line before hanging up the phone. 

“30th floor, you can take the elevators that are down the hall to your left- SnFF!,” the secretary instructed, packing a few of her items into her purse and tugging a heavy sweater over her frame, shivering slightly, “I’b goi’g hobe.”  

“Thank you,” Vaggie replied, preparing herself to head towards the elevator, “Hope you feel better!” 

“Thag’k you,” the secretary said, wiping her nose and leaving the building through the revolving doors as Vaggie wandered down the path she was given until she approached a row of elevators, hopping on the first unoccupied one she could find and pressing a button to take her to the 30th floor. 

Upon arriving at the 30th floor of the broadcast tower, Vaggie looked around, peeking into a few random studio doors and finding no one, wondering if she’d gone to the wrong floor or lost track of him, when suddenly she ran face-first into a large, lanky figure wearing a blue suit. 

“Oh! There you are,” Vaggie said with a nervous chuckle, dusting herself off, “Hello, Vox.” 

“Ohhh… hello there, you’re the angel girl the princess is romantically involved with, aren’t you?” Vox said with a curt wave, “Any reason in particular you’re in my building snooping around?” 

“I- I know that you don’t really want to speak to me due to my connections with Alastor, but I’m looking for the source of the Red Spread to attempt to find a treatment and you’re the only one with access to every corner of the Pentagram thanks to your surveillance drones,” Vaggie explained, her words rambling as she silently crossed her fingers that her plea was convincing- she’d forgotten to take her spear with her before she left, so she unfortunately had no leverage. 

“Hmm… a noble cause, if ever there was one,” Vox snickered, “Right this way, I’ll have to take you to my secondary surveillance room, the primary one is for my eyes only.” 

“R-really? You’re just- really?!” Vaggie replied, a bit bewildered. 

“Of course, anything to help!” Vox replied with a camera-ready smile, only for his face to soften into something much more neutral and comfortable, “-if you want to know the truth, I’m just happy to be having a conversation with someone who isn’t constantly sneezing.” 

“Haha… it is kinda nice,” Vaggie said, following Vox into the elevator and getting out on the top floor of the tower- the location of the Vees’ personal penthouse, “I honestly don’t know why I’m not sick.” 

“I mean, the answer is pretty obvious, this infection only attaches to demon immune systems- resident of Hell or not, that golden blood in your veins isn’t what the germs are looking for,” Vox scoffed, dusting off the front of his suit with a splayed hand before hanging up his jacket on the wall.  

“That makes sense,” Vaggie said, staring at a recently-healed cut on her thumb that was noticeably a dull gold, bottling up a heavy sigh and deciding to redirect her focus to something else, “what about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“How come you aren’t sick?” 

Vox leaned down until his face was at-level with Vaggie’s before knocking loudly on his head’s glass screen and running his fingers along the array of buttons, wires, and switches on his metal neck, “I don’t have an immune system, or lungs, my soul is basically the only trace of my humanity that I have left.” 

“Oh… that makes sense, actually,” Vaggie said, quietly shuddering upon noticing the 10 foot figure hunched over a kitchen island, draped haphazardly across a bar stool. 

“H-ihh… Ih’psshoo! IhH’Pshhuue! Hiih-Ih’pssshiEW!,” 

Vox rolled his eyes, walking over to the other side of the kitchen island and pinching his lover’s face with icy claws, “What are we doing out of bed?” he asked, his tone warm in contrast with his exasperated and threatening eyes. 

“SnFF!- Mby throat hurts… a’d I can’t find mby replacement Voxxy,” Valentino whined, his consonants dulled heavily by congestion and his red eyes brimming with tears. 

Vox turned to face Vaggie, gesturing for her to wait a moment before turning back to Valentino, “I’ll have Kitty bring you some tea with honey, but you aren’t supposed to be out of bed,” he said, gently wiping the tears out of Valentino’s eyes with a tissue from his pocket. 

“Okay,” Valentino replied, “Help mbe find replacement Voxxy? I can’t see mbore thad two feet ahead of mbe-ee…IHH’TSHUU! Ih’pshew! I-ihh’PSHHEW!” 

Vox blinked, pulling up security camera footage from Valentino and Vox’s shared bedroom onto his screen and scanning the room for a giant stuffed shark he’d bought Valentino to keep him occupied while he was in bed, “Aha! There it is… it’s on the floor on my side of the bed, I’ll have Kitty hand it to you,” he said, gently rubbing the back of Valentino’s hand. 

“Thag’k you Voxxyyy-Yihh’tshhew! Ih’tshhuu! Ih’psshiEW!,” Valentino said, the sharp, squeaky sneezes scraping his sinuses on the way out, “Ohhh… all this sdeezi’g is givi’g mbe a headache.” 

“I know, it’s okay… what flavor of tea do you want?” Vox asked, massaging his lover’s sinuses with his cool fingertips. 

“Ginger- snrKK! SnfFFF!- Ughh,” Valentino replied, squeaking in frustration at the pain building up in his swollen sinuses, “I’b so tired of bei’g sick.” 

“I know, I know,” Vox replied, stroking the back of Valentino’s cheek, “Come on, get up and get back to bed, Kitty will be right in to take good care of you, one of the succubi on staff even went topside to get you some more of this.” 

Vox fished around in his pockets before pulling out a dark blue jar with a teal lid, unscrewing the top and gently wafting the menthol-scented fumes into Valentino’s face. 

“Vaporub!” Valentino exclaimed with relief, dunking two fingers into the jar and slathering the fragrant balm on his chest, his squeaky clogged sinuses suddenly loosening as mess trickled down his face, “Mmm… oh that feels good, thag’k you Voxxyyyi-ihh’pshuu! Ih’pshuue! IHH’PSchhew!” 

“Bless you, bless you, you sound like you’re breathing better already,” Vox said with a smile, patting Valentino on the back and sighing with relief when he disappeared down the halls on his way back to bed, “Phew…” 

“So, where’s your secondary surveillance room?” Vaggie asked. 

“A few doors down, I’ll show you- wait a second,” Vox said, whipping his head around at the significantly shorter figure trudging into the kitchen wearing boxer shorts and a bralette, “Why are you out of bed?!” 

“Don’t shout at me,” Velvette replied, punctuating her sentence with a desperate, wheezy cough as she fought back an aggressive shiver from the chill of the air conditioning, “I’m getting more cough syrup.” 

“You just took a double dose of cough syrup an hour ago,” Vox argued, folding his arms, “You can’t have any more.” 

“I’m a grown woman, I can have more if I want,” Velvette replied, sticking out her tongue and struggling to open the cap on the bottle- a bottle that was not child proof by any means. 

“No, you can’t,” Vox said, plucking the bottle of raspberry cough syrup out of Velvette’s grasp and putting it on a shelf out of her reach. 

“This is bullshit!” Velvette huffed, turning away from Vox to muffle a violent coughing fit into her elbow, “I can’t stop fucking coughing, I can’t sleep!” 

Vox leaned against the kitchen island and shot Velvette an all-knowing glance, “Maybe if you drank something- don’t open your mouth and lie to me, I know you haven’t, I have today’s entire footage reel to prove it- that might help,” he said. 

Velvette rolled her eyes, “I don’t want to, it hurts too much and it’s too cold, I can’t stand having anything to drink right now,” she huffed. 

“Okay, let me rephrase,” Vox said, snapping his fingers as Velvette’s metal drink tumbler- filled to the brim with hot Yorkshire Gold with honey and lemon- appeared in his hand, “you are going to drink this, and you are going to put on some long pajama pants and a shirt with sleeves, and get under the covers in your bed.” 

Velvette opened her mouth to object, but was instead met with another violent cough, “Fiine,” she replied, taking the cup from Vox and taking a cautious sip, her previously cranky gaze melting as the liquid gold cascaded down her raw, scratchy throat, “Mmmm…” 

“Mhm, feels better, doesn’t it?” Vox teased, paying Velvette no mind when she raised her middle finger in response, “Yeah yeah, fuck you too, go change and get back in bed.” 

“Fine,” Velvette replied in between desperate gulps of her tea, walking out of the kitchen and heading back into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. 

“Okay, I think we’re done with diversions, now we can go look at the surveillance footage,” Vox announced, clasping his hands together and gesturing for Vaggie to follow him as he wandered down the halls of the penthouse until he approached a set of double doors decorated with the VoxTech logo, “here we are.” 

Upon entering the room, Vaggie was bewildered by the massive wall of monitors that showed live footage from the voyeur scopes that hovered in the air all over Pentagram City- not to mention security cameras for basically every business and institution in town due to VoxTech’s virtual monopoly on camera sales. 

“So,” Vox began, cracking his knuckles and sitting in his office chair at the desk against the wall, “Where do you need to look?” 

“I spoke with one of the first people to get sick with the red spread, and she told me that she didn’t start feeling sick until after she went for a walk in the Doomsday district and breathed in that red mist,” Vaggie said, “If we can find the source of the red mist, I think that will be the source of the red spread!” 

“Makes sense,” Vox replied, pulling up every camera he had available in the Doomsday district and scanning each monitor with careful eyes, “Hmm… not that one, not that one either… there’s so much smog everywhere it’s hard to know where to look.” Vox wiggled a joystick on his desk, gently adjusting the position of a cluster of security cameras stationed on the rooftops of a few buildings. 

A harsh cough from the doorway made Vox straighten his posture and turn around, seeing a drowsy Velvette standing in the doorway- now wearing a pair of fleece pajama pants adorned with gummy bears and a long-sleeved pajama shirt. 

“You keep looking, I have to deal with this- Why are we out of bed now?” Vox asked, raising an eyebrow as his voice gained the typical tinny electronic quality that it took on when he felt particularly intense emotions. 

“I need some more m-medicine,” Velvette replied, vigorously rubbing her upper arms and fighting to keep her teeth from chattering, “I-ihh’tssshoo! Ih’tshhew! I-ihh’kxhsshew!” 

Vox rolled his eyes, briefly turning to make sure Vaggie was still attempting to check the screens for the source of the smog, before turning back to address his colleague, “We just had this conversation, you are not taking any more cough syrup… besides, your cough sounds much better, you should be able to get some sleep now,” he said. 

“I don’t need cough syrup… snFF!... I need the paracetamol, I’m freezing,” Velvette complained, the slight and refreshing breeze of the air conditioner making the fashion designer shiver as though she was wading in icy water, her forehead shiny with sweat. 

Vox shot another cautious glance back at Vaggie, before cupping Velvette’s face with his left hand and scanning her body with the infrared filter applied over his eyes until a temperature reading of 103.8 degrees flashed in the corner of his screen, “That is a little high, and the more comfortable you are, the sooner you can get to sleep,” Vox said, pulling a bottle out of his pocket and handing Velvette two tiny square pills, “There you go, that should make you feel better, now get back to bed.” 

“Thank you, V, have fun in your creepy stalker room- Ihh’tshhoo!” Velvette replied, waving Vox goodbye as she headed back to her bedroom. 

Vox approached the wall of monitors again with his hands clasped behind his back, rocking gently on his heels, “Any luck yet?” he asked.

Vaggie shook her head at Vox, continuing to scan the wall of screens with her eyes, squinting against the harsh blue light, until she saw something peculiar on one screen in the left-hand corner of the wall.

“There!” Vaggie shouted, leaning against Vox’s rolling chair and gently shaking it, pointing to the monitor she’d located a clue on, “Right there! Look at how the mist is moving in that shot, see?” 

Vox directed his attention to the monitor and noticed that the red mist was billowing out of the back corner of a building, almost like smoke from a chimney, “That must be where it’s coming from… it’s on Tsunami Boulevard behind the gun store,” he said. 

“Alright! Let’s go, if we hurry we can get there in twenty minutes,” Vaggie said, excitedly bouncing on her heels, only for Vox to grab her by the hand, the two of them vanishing into a crackle of electricity and teleporting to Tsunami Boulevard by way of the surveillance camera pointed at the gun store, “Woah… you can do that?” 

“I can at least, it’s fun most of the time, sometimes you get bored of it and decide to walk, but when urgency is key it’s very helpful,” Vox replied, dusting himself off and peering through the dense cloud of red mist into the alley behind the gun store, “I think there’s something back there.” 

Vaggie walked closer to Vox and leaned over, squinting and straining her vision to make out a dark form behind all of the mist, “There is… let’s keep going, slow and steady,” she instructed. 

Vox took slow, careful steps through the alley, barely making a sound as Vaggie attempted to make out more details of the figure they were approaching, eventually realizing that the something was in fact someone. 

“Someone’s back there-” Vaggie whispered, cupping her hands around her mouth to call out to the figure as they approached it, “Hello?!” 

No response outside of Vaggie’s own voice echoing throughout the alley, but the pair continued to inch their way forward, the figure seemingly unfazed by their presence. 

“It might be a decoy… or a mannequin,” Vox said in a hushed tone as he practically tip-toed forward, having trouble keeping such a slow pace with someone half his height. 

“Helloo?! I know you’re over there… we have some questions for you!” Vaggie called out, her voice still rippling off of the brick walls and echoing for at least another two blocks. 

Silence. 

“Okay, what the fuck?!” Vaggie asked no one in particular, shrugging in frustration as she quickened her pace, deciding she was fed up with the kid gloves technique, “Hey! I know you can hear me, jackass!” 

Vox snickered, sighing with relief as he began to walk with his regular stride while Vaggie stomped ahead, still shouting into the mist. 

“If you aren’t gonna run away, the least you could do is fucking acknowledge me, shithead!” Vaggie exclaimed, shaking her fist at the motionless figure whose silhouette was becoming clearer as the pair got closer, with Vaggie’s tirade being cut off by the sound of a window screen sliding open. 

“Will you shut the fuck up?! I’ve got a killer fucki’g headache and I’b tryi’g to sleep it off,” a cranky demon with particularly long and curly horns called out from his bedroom window. 

“Oh! S-sorry! I’m used to shouting over the city’s background noise,” Vaggie replied. 

“Look arou’d, girl, the ed’tire city is id bed… E-Eihh’kxxhhtt! E-eeihh’kzZzht!” 

“Bless you!” 

“Thag’k you,” the demon paused to let out a barking cough, “Look, I was godda threaten you or somethin’, but I’b tired… so please just keep it down?” 

“I will, I’m sorry,” Vaggie replied, shooting the demon a remorseful thumbs-up, “Feel better!” 

“I wish,” the demon grumbled, shutting his window and going back to bed, leaving Vaggie and Vox to their own devices once again. 

“Kudos to you for acknowledging him, I’d have just told him to fuck off,” Vox snickered, his air filtration system whirring slightly as it processed the dense red mist in the air. 

“People are at their most vulnerable when they don’t feel well… being an asshole to someone when they’re in that state just seems cruel,” Vaggie said in reply, marching forward and attempting to make out the details of the silhouette at the root of the billowing clouds of red mist. 

“Fair enough,” Vox said, readjusting his stride to allow Vaggie time to keep up with him. 

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity of walking- but was only ten minutes- Vaggie and Vox managed to cut through the mist to find its source leaned up against the back wall of the gun store. 

Standing in the alley, unfazed, was a slim demon of average height with hands that appeared to be shaped like pangolin claws, a long scaly tail, and a long face that was covered by an intricate gas mask. The mouthpiece of the gas mask was where the red mist was coming from, leaking from the holes in the mask like a toxic fog machine. 

Vaggie swallowed a bit of embarrassment, as she realized why the demon had been ignoring her loud pleas for their attention- they were wearing a heavy pair of chunky over-ear headphones and bobbing their head as though listening to music. Waving her hand in front of the demon’s face, Vaggie watched them lower their headphones and finally give the pair their undivided attention. 

“What’s up? I’m not a dealer, fyi, I just like this alley, coke guy’s a block down, peyote’s three blocks down, and there’s a weed vending machine around the corner,” they said in a monotonous voice. 

“Not here for drugs, we’re here for you,” Vaggie said, “Who are you?” 

“My name used to be Cassandra Sinclair… but I go by ‘Noxxious’ these days,” 

“Okay ‘Noxxious’, you do know that the shit you’re pumping out is making everyone sick, right?” Vaggie asked, placing her hands on her hips as Vox hovered over the two of them from behind, intimidating Noxxious with a scornful look in his eyes. 

“Well yeah, that was kind of the point,” Noxxious replied, tilting their head to one side. 

“You did this on purpose?!” Vaggie asked, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“Mmhm, turned out better than I expected, no one’s dead, right?” Noxxious inquired, excitement and pride in their voice. 

“Almost the entire city has been sick for over a month!” Vaggie shouted, balling her fists and cursing herself for leaving her spear at the hotel. 

“Oh shit, it’s been that long? I got lost in time, man… it’s been so peaceful,” Noxxious said with a wistful sigh, stuffing their hands in their pockets. 

“If I may ask… why did you do this, exactly? It’s not like you stand to gain anything from it,” Vox asked. 

“Listen for a second,” Noxxious requested, the group listening to the heavy silence of the empty city streets for a few moments, “No cars, no shouting, no footsteps, no talking, no chewing, nothing. It’s wonderful.” 

“You did all of this so you could have some peace and quiet?!” Vaggie asked, “You have headphones!” 

“They weren’t enough, nothing was enough,” Noxxious said through clenched teeth, taking a deep breath, “Mind if I ramble about something personal?” 

Vaggie, in spite of her obvious rage and frustration, simply shrugged at Noxxious, motioning for them to go ahead, turning to Vox and staring at him incredulously. 

“I’ve only been here for six months… when I was alive I hated noise, I’d rather rip out my eardrums than listen to all of the noises overlapping all day, every day,” Noxxious began, straightening their posture, “I realized that people are pretty quiet when they’re sick… they keep to themselves. It made perfect sense.” 

Vaggie gestured at Vox, still puzzled, but decided not to interrupt.

“I went to school for microbiology, and I figured if I could get enough people sick, I could have peace and quiet,” Noxxious said with a determined- albeit hidden- smile, “Except I wasn’t very careful, and I got into a little bit of trouble when my first attempt went sideways.” 

Vaggie and Vox squinted their eyes when Noxxious held up a frayed, coffee-stained newspaper clipping that read ‘Bioterrorist Cassandra Sinclair due to receive death penalty’. 

“Is that your plan?! To kill everyone?!” Vaggie asked, scanning the area for something she could use as a weapon. 

“No! I already said that was an accident, I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I just wanted a break from the noise!” Noxxious explained, near tears, “Look, when I got here after my execution, I noticed this blue stuff coming out of my mask; when people around me breathed in the mist, they would start sneezing.” 

Vox’s face brightened, an impressed smile spreading across his screen, “So you can just infinitely leak mist filled with custom viruses?” he asked rhetorically, “That is impressive, you could have some real sway with that kind of power if you weren’t a walking biohazard.” 

“I don’t want ‘sway’, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, I just wanted quiet,” Noxxious explained, twisting the filtered discs on the end of their mask so that the holes were covered, stopping the red mist at the source, “I can produce an antidote, I promise.” 

“Thank you,” Vaggie sighed, relaxing her shoulders as she watched Noxxious fiddle with their mask, briefly opening the discs and shooting out a puff of blue mist before closing their mask again as the blue mist seemingly clung to the red, slowly spreading through the air.  

“There, that should be enough to get it to stretch across the Pride Ring, and then eventually it’ll disappear on its own,” Noxxious explained, “Once someone breathes it in, they’ll be cured.” 

“Good, things can finally get back to normal,” Vox scoffed, cracking his knuckles before pulling something out of his pocket after seeing Noxxious’s pitiful face, “As a reward for producing the antidote, here’s the final prototype for VoxTech’s ‘DJ Deafener’ headphones, with active noise canceling so good, you can’t hear a train coming.” 

“That’s a good tagline,” Vaggie said, chuckling. 

“It isn’t just a tagline, eight of our product testers were crushed gruesomely by trains,” Vox replied. 

Noxxious carefully placed the headphones on their head and their body immediately relaxed as they reclined against the back wall of the gun store once again, “These are incredible, I can’t hear anything!” they exclaimed, tears leaking from the plastic eyes of their mask, “Thank you!” 

Vox opened his mouth to respond, only to remember that Noxxious was effectively deaf, and opted to shoot the bioterrorist a thumbs up instead as a sudden boom of thunder could be heard overhead. 

“Well, I think I should go spread the good news, haha-” Vox chuckled to himself, “I’d offer to teleport you back to the tower with me, but it’s about the same distance to walk there from here as it would be to walk there from the tower.”  

“No worries, I’ve got it,” Vaggie replied, “Thanks for your help.” 

“Same to you,” Vox said, shooting Vaggie a playful salute before teleporting back to the broadcast tower in a crackle of blue electricity, just as a light drizzle began, raindrops falling on Vaggie’s head as she made her walk back to the hotel. 

Twenty minutes passed, and back at the hotel, the parlor full of drowsy sinners jumped when the peaceful nature documentary they were watching was interrupted by the blaring theme of an incoming 666 News bulletin. 

“That scared the piss outta me,” Angel panted, emptying his sinuses into a tissue with a damp blow, “Wonder what the hell happened this time...snff!” 

“Hello citizens of Pentagram City and the greater Pride Ring, I am happy to announce that a cure for the Red Spread has been found!” Vox’s voice rang out from the speakers of the CRT television, “It has been released into the air for ease of access, take a step outside or open a window and the formula should resolve your infection! Have a wonderful day, and stay healthy! This message was brought to you by VoxTech Enterprises!” 

“Vaggie did it- SnFF!- she figured it out! Yaay…” Charlie cheered weakly, wiping off the drippy underside of her nose, “Who’s gonna get up to open the window?” 

“I got it,” Angel croaked, clearing his throat as he slowly untangled himself from Husk and stood on his two wobbling legs, slowly walking towards the large stained glass doors on either side of the bar and struggling a bit before swinging one open, revealing the intense rain that had developed outside but also letting in a burst of antidote-heavy air into the room. 

Taking a shallow breath through his mouth, Angel blinked and felt his sinuses clearing up, his tender throat healing, and his fever breaking. Angel’s fur was suddenly damp with sweat as he stood proudly and energetically on his own two feet, spinning around to face the rest of the group and flashing a bright smile, “It works! Oh my god, I never thought I’d be this fuckin’ excited to be able to breathe through my coke holes again!” he cheered. 

Niffty took in a brief whiff of air and hurriedly got up from her nest of blankets upon returning to her full energy, “I feel so much better!” she cheered, suddenly wincing upon realizing that she was surrounded by germy blankets and used tissues, “Euch… this is awful, what a mess- gotta take a shower first, wash all the germs off me, then I can clean this up- be right back!” 

In less time than the rest of the group could blink, Niffty had vanished upstairs to shower. 

Husk poked his head out from under the blanket where he’d been resting while cradled against Angel’s torso, taking a sharp breath and purring contentedly as he felt the watery congestion in his sinuses dry up, and his ears unclogged with a satisfying Pop! “Mmmm, that’s more like it,” Husk muttered, slowly moving until he was back on his feet, ignoring the dampness of his sweaty fur. 

“I gotta rinse all this sweat off and condition my fur, you comin’ Pretty Kitty?” Angel asked, attempting to finger-comb some of the excess sweat out of his fuzzy white hair. 

“Right behind you,” Husk replied, following Angel as the two wandered upstairs together to take a hot shower in Angel’s bathroom.

 Charlie inhaled with a watery sniffle, sighing with relief as her symptoms faded away and the tired bags underneath her eyes vanished, “Phew… much better,” she yawned, rubbing her eyes, turning to look at Alastor, who was still deep into a fever-induced slumber, shivering under his blanket whale draped across the loveseat. 

Charlie walked over to the loveseat and lifted up Alastor’s head from the back, gently pinching his chapped nostrils shut to force him to take a crackling inhale through his mouth. Once Alastor had taken an inhale of panacea-heavy air, Charlie backed away, wanting to be sure that Lucid Alastor wouldn’t know she was touching him. 

Alastor slowly rose up from his reclined position, muffling a final wet cough behind clenched teeth and arching his back to stretch, finally in his right mind after nearly two months of fistfighting with his immune system, “Ahh, that was a satisfying nap,” he muttered to himself, only to notice his body was still slick with sweat, and his hair was about half an inch longer than it was when he last checked. 

Suddenly, Alastor was hit with the memory of what had happened before fever rendered his mind blank, and he struggled not to flush with embarrassment, “Whatever transpired while I was indisposed isn’t to be discussed. At all.” he said, threateningly brandishing his microphone. 

“Gotcha! We don’t have to talk about it, Alastor, don’t worry, I’m just glad you’re feeling better!” Charlie said with a jovial grin. 

“Splendid,” Alastor replied, tapping his microphone against the floor before vanishing into his own shadow. 

Right as Alastor disappeared, the double doors to the hotel’s entrance swung open, and a sopping wet Vaggie stepped inside. 

“You did it!” Charlie cheered, rushing over to embrace her girlfriend in a tight hug, “What was causing it? I have so many questions!” 

“A sinner who used to be a bioterrorist was leaking the virus into the air… honestly they were persuaded to stop pretty easily… snff!,” Vaggie explained, dragging the back of her wrist under her nose to scrub away an itch. 

“That’s good, I’m glad the antidote is a mist too, that way pockets of trapped air will sanitize the Hellivator when it starts operating again,” Charlie said, “It’s so nice this is all over, and it’s all thanks to you, Vaggie, I’m so proud of you!” 

“Tha-a-ahh… thanks, Baby,” Vaggie replied, smiling when Charlie planted a kiss on her cheek. 

“Heyy, now that I’m feeling better, I think you deserve a special reward for all your hard work,” Charlie whispered suggestively, kissing Vaggie’s neck and gently pressing her palm against her girlfriend’s thigh, “What do you think?” 

“I uhm… Snff- snff!... I… I-ihh,” Vaggie began, her breath hitching as a tickle built to a crescendo in her nose, “Hi-IIhh’Ddtssheww! Ih’Ddshhoo!” 

Charlie’s aroused smile flipped, concern shimmering in her eyes as she watched Vaggie sniffle against a slightly runny nose, cold rain water still trickling down her face from her soaked hairline. 

“I think I’m getting a cold,” Vaggie groaned, a pitiful look in her eyes as she plucked two tissues from a box on a nearby table and blew her nose with a sharp honk, “Hih’dDtshhew! Ih’DdshhEWw!” 

Charlie’s sensitive heart melted and she scooped Vaggie into her arms, not even pretending to care about the fact that Vaggie’s rain- soaked body was getting her pajamas wet, “Aww, Vaggie… you did such a good job looking after everything, now it’s my turn to look after you,” she said, kissing Vaggie’s forehead, “Let’s get you a hot bath and a change of clothes.” 

“Yaaay,” Vaggie cheered softly, wrapping her arms around Charlie’s neck and trying not to shiver as she was carried upstairs, “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Vaggie,” Charlie replied, gently massaging Vaggie’s back over her wet shirt as the couple disappeared up the staircase. 

[yourmoonie]

hii! i love you blog so much. i wanted to ask if i can revise/change my name?. what should i visualize and how to make sure its done for everyone that knows me and in all legal docs.

Hey, my moonlight!

It can get externalized in millions of different ways. This means that it can happen via different ways and approaches. All you have to do is mentally accept the fact that the change is possible, and you now have a new name that has legally been changed.

If people have to move for you behind the closed doors they will.

And the next thing you know is that people are calling you in your desired way, and the papers are being changed.

Do you remember how Neville manifested to be honorably discharged?

He mentally revised the papers.

Well, even in my reality, people irl have consciously started calling me Moon/Moonie without me needing to "force" anyone to call me Iike that.

[buzzyboi79]

TWO POSTS IN 24 HOURS!?? IM DOING GREAT

Izuku x reader, sfw fluff. Just small shopping head canons

>Izuku definitely takes you out shopping. A lot. And not just for gorceries but just for like the domesticity of it.

>walks in with both yall holding hands this big beefy sweetheart that just wants to hold and protect you. And will stop at nothing to do so

>i def imagine him going straight to the food court, to grab a drink at least before doing your monthly shopping spree. Boba (or your favorite drink) and it doesnt matter how long the wait is.

>HE IS BOMBARDED WITH FANS TOO. Iike to the point he has to wear a hat and mask whenever he leaves, which sucks. But you can still see his pretty eyes

>he also HAS to carry all the bags. And not in the “just let me do it” way. But the “baby i just wanna help” way. And like, if youre looking through things, he will hold your drink too, with the soft lil smile.

>OH YOUR FEET ARE TIRED!?? GREAT. HE’LL CARRY THE BAGS AND YOU. Mans just wants to help in any way possible. Perfectly content watching his world try to pick out a shirt.

>HE WOULD ALSO CARRY YOU ON HIS SHOULDERS. LIKE. JUST HOLD YOU UP THERE. “There sweets, can you see the shelf better now? Good. Find anything you like?” SUCH A BEAN

>would 100% wait outside the dressing room like a respectful man while you try on clothes, and if you don’t come out to show him he gets all sad. He also thinks you look great in everything and doesnt understand when you frown in the mirror at yourself. Like genuinely. His lil sunshine sight doesnt get it.

>He also wants to spend money on you. Not in a sugar daddy way. But like, he doesnt??? Know?? How else??? To spend it???? He has this hUGE ass pro hero salary and he doesnt know what to do. He has everything he wants, you and the greatest job ever. He genuinely doesnt need the money and just wants to make you happy.

>AND IF YOU REFUSE!? MANS POUTS FOR HOURS. DAYS EVEN. PULLS THIS LIL MOVE WHILE CARRYING YOUR BAGS

>JUST LET HIM SPOIL HIS LOVIE. HE JUST WANTS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND THAT MAKES HIM DO HIS STUPID LIL GRIN.

>and when its done, he carries everything out to his car and puts it in the back for you. As soon as he slides in his seat he’s leaning over and kissing your cheek. Yeah you spent a shit load of money (not enough in his opinion) but days like this are everything to him. Soft boi.

“Thanks baby. It was a good day.”

[tokidokitokyo]

栃木県

Japanese Prefectures: Kantō - Tochigi

都道府県 (とどうふけん) - Prefectures of Japan

Learning the kanji and a little bit about each of Japan’s 47 prefectures!

Kanji・漢字

栃　とち　horse chestnut

木　き、こ～、ボク、モク　tree, wood

県　ケン　prefecture

関東　かんとう　Kanto, region consisting of Tokyo and surrounding prefectures

Prefectural Capital (県庁所在地) : Utsunomiya (宇都宮市)

One of only eight land-locked prefectures in Japan, Tochigi prefecture is famous for gyoza and strawberries. It is also home to Japan's oldest school of higher education, the Ashikaga Gakkō, and is home to the Tōshō-gū shrine, dedicated to the shogun who unified Japan, Tokugawa Ieyasu, in the city of Nikkō.

Tochigi lies just north of Tokyo, and is accessible in less than an hour by bullet train. Nasu is the location of one of the imperial family's villas, and hot springs near Nasu and Shiobara mountains are popular resort spots. In the southeast of Tochigi, the town of Mashiko is renowned for its simple but highly prized ceramics.

Recommended Tourist Spot・おすすめ観光スポット World Heritage Site Nikkō Tōshōgū - 世界遺産・日光東照宮

Nikkō is closely associated with Tokugawa Ieyasu, who unified the country after a century of warfare and founded the Tokugawa shogunate. Ieyasu retired and then passed away in present-day Shizuoka Prefecture, and was laid to rest at Kunōzan. In 1617, his remains were moved to Nikkō and he was deified as the protector of the eight Kantō provinces.

Ieyasu’s remains were reinterred at the temple Rinnōji in Nikkō, and his successor Hidetada erected the Tōshōsha in his honor. The third Tokugawa shogun Iemitsu had great respect for Ieyasu and ordered the original shrine renovated, having the country’s most skilled artisans create the richly decorated buildings that stand today. The work was completed in 1636, and nine years later the imperial court bestowed the name Tōshōgū on the shrine.

Nikkō Tōshōgū boasts eight buildings designated as national treasures and thirty-four structures selected as important cultural properties. Some of these impressive cultural properties include the 9.2-meter-tall stone torii marking the entrance and the five-storied pagoda nearby, as well as the Yōmeimon, a richly decorated gate with over 500 carvings depicting fables and saints. This magnificent gate holds an ancient superstition, which said that completing it might lead to the collapse of the Tokugawa regime. To avoid this, the builders installed one of the twelve supporting pillars upside down, thus insuring that it remained incomplete.

For more photos and information check out: nippon.com

Regional Cuisine - 郷土料理 Gyoza Dumpling - 餃子

A statue of the goddess Venus wrapped in gyoza skin outside Utsunomiya Station (source)

“Utsunomiya Gyoza” is an important part of the culinary culture of Utsunomiya City. The city has over 300 gyoza restaurants, and queuing in front of your favorite restaurant or visiting multiple restaurants is quite common. The restaurants compete to create unique recipes in order to be recognized as the best gyoza in the city. You can even join gyoza-making classes led by top chefs. There is also a gyoza association called the Utsunomiya Gyozakai that holds an annual festival in the beginning of November.

Tochigi Dialect・Tochigi-ben・栃木弁

こわい　kowai　tired

「とうと登ってたっけ、こわいから座ってもいいけ？」 touto nobottetakke, kowai kara suwatte mo iike?

Standard Japanese: 「ずっと登ってたし、疲れたから座ってもいい？」 (zutto nobottetashi, tsukareta kara suwatte mo ii?)

English: "I've been climbing for a while now, and I'm tired, so can I sit down?"

いかんべ　ikanbe　it's good

A: 「こんなもんで、いがっぺ？」 (konna mon de, igappe?) B: 「いかんべ。」 (ikanbe)

Standard Japanese: A: 「こんなもんで、いいでしょう？」 (konna mon de, ii deshou?) B: 「いいですよ。」 (ii desu yo)

English: A: "Is it okay if I do it like this?" B: "Yes, that's fine."

いじやける　ijiyakeru　irritated

「あの店員の態度、すげ～いじやける！」 (ano tenin no taido, suge～ijiyakeru!)

Standard Japanese: 「あの店員の態度、凄くイライラする！」 (ano tenin no taido, sugoku iraira suru!)

English: "That store clerk's attitude, is so irritating!"

だいじだ　daiji　no problem

A: 「だいじ？」　(daiji?) B: 「だいじだいじ！」　(daiji daiji!)

Standard Japanese: A: 「大丈夫？」　(daijyoubu?) B: 「大丈夫、大丈夫！」　(daijyoubu, daijyoubu!)

English: A: "Is it ok?" B: "No problem, no problem!"

あかなす　akanasu　tomato (lit. red eggplant)

Standard Japanese: トマト (tomato) English: tomato

[claraameliapond]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Friendly reminder that Christmas is the annual cultural celebration of the birth of Christ in the Christian religion. Religious or not or just not particularly, that is what this cultural celebration signifies. It's the entire reason for it.

So if participating in Christmas today, please be aware, that whether you believe it is a mythos or real, the place that this happened is Palestine. Jerusalem, Bethlehem, these are all real places, and they are in Palestine. Jesus is not white. Jesus is Palestinian; Mary is Palestinian, so while we all celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ today, and participate in this cultural celebration and religious holiday, it is crucial, especially right now, that we acknowledge that this holy, sacred celebration of peace, is from Palestine, and that this religion, so pervasive in Western, European culture, one of our longest running traditions and mainstays of our culture; the religion that signifies peace, the religion that stands as a beacon of teachings of peace, coexistence and kindness; the religion from which many lessons of peace, kindness pervade our society and are used non religiously: "love thy neighbour"; "the good Samaritan"; is from and about a culture and people that still exist today, who, like in many religious texts, are targeted and persecuted just for existing.

They have been so for 75 years, and a created nation state in the name of a religion that does not accept it, has displaced, demonised, targeted, ethnically cleansed, and continue to currently commit horrific genocide on a mass scale of this culture, these people that we are celebrating right now at Christmas, in honour of peace, whose culture has long signified to us some of the most crucial and poignant teachings of peace, of living alongside those different to us peacefully with kindness, with care. These people are being persecuted RIGHT NOW

No culture, no people , no beings should be treated Iike this, but it is specifically poignant that this is happening right now, as we celebrate the birth of a Palestinian baby that signifies peace and liberation, and a Palestinian woman who gave birth to this baby.

If you are celebrating Christmas without acknowledging this, that the figures central to this whole occasion of peace, are Palestinian; That Palestinians are currently being persecuted just for existing, having their land stolen and people brutally violently ethnically cleansed, this is happening to children, and you do not currently support Palestine, Palestinian people: if you can't see this connection, you really haven't understood the whole point of this holiday, what it's for, what it's about, and you don't deserve to participate in it.

I am surprised there's not even a PR inspired ceasefire today, oh the irony: the figure of Jesus as a baby, and throughout his life, was persecuted too.

If you are celebrating this holiday and you do understand the connection, you do support Palestine, please please do whatever you can to free Palestine, to rally support of a voting public to put pressure on your elected officials, call, write, share the truth, non stop to end this genocide immediately, to free Palestine from the tyranny of its brutal occupier forever, to restore their peace and safety, their human rights. Globally, the world is doing this. Please make sure you don't stop. In honour of this holiday we are celebrating right now especially, Christmas, we must stand up for Palestine, our Palestinian family, and use our power in whatever way we can to secure peace, to truly, properly free Palestine of this tyranny, forever.

Voting is a big one: your exercise of power to influence how your country responds to things like this; your elected officials are selected by societies- by you- to be your representatives on a global scale, for global and country wide events, issues, to make the right choices on behalf of your society, on behalf of you. Who, out of your options, is the best one to do this? And yes, sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose.

Make sure you're aware of what you're celebrating today. Live in honour of them, celebrate in honour of them, and work to stop this genocide and free them, in honour of all of them.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked - Chapter 3

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: It's That Last Step - Leighton

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 3 – Luke’s Gonna Kill Me - Leighton 

**Six weeks later** 

The season was off to a great start. Andy and Luke had an epic start to the season in light of everything that happened with Craig. Speaking of Craig, he ended up getting traded to Tampa Bay which made Andy extremely happy. From what I heard from some of the WAGs, Fiona refused to move to Florida with him.  So much for true love.  Last I heard, she took a job in New York.  

Good riddance.  

Andy and I had gotten into a good routine once I finished moving in and so far, I love living with my best friend.  As social media director, I got to travel with the team, so I saw Andy and my brother all the time.  It made dealing with the heart ache that much easier. Bret had left an email letting me know where the stuff I didn’t take with me was and that was about it. No groveling, no asking for me to reconsider. Three years together and that was it. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved, heartbroken or depressed. Yes, when it happened, I cried on Andy’s shoulder but I think it was the shock of Bret asking me to be his little housewife. On well, life moves on. 

The Bruins were three weeks into the season, and I was packing up for a 10-game road trip when I heard the front door slam. Heavy footsteps hit the stairs and my favorite pair of blue eyes were in my doorway. “Hey princess!” 

Yes, I am well aware mat my parents are big Star Wars fans and named their kids Luke and Leia. After I grew up a bit and Luke and Andy had watched said movies, Andy took to calling me "Princess" no matter how much I objected to the name stuck and here we are. 

“Hey Chewy!” If I had to get an awful Star Wars nickname, then so did he 

Andy threw himself onto my bed. “Ready for the road trip?” 

I sighed as I packed the last packing cube into my suitcase. Yes, I was one of those that used packing cubes. I liked to be organized and plan everything out. Sue me. “Almost,” I replied. “Just got to get my carry-on tote.” 

Andy looked over my bags. “How much shit does one girl need?” He lifted out a cube and I yanked it back. 

“Don’t judge me! Not all of us were born devilish good looking in just a button down and jeans. I need to have options.” I put the cube back into its place as I looked over my packing list. 

“Princess, you are just living up to the title now,” Andy said with a laugh. 

I blushed. “One of these days you’ll need a sewing kit and can’t find one and you’ll be crawling to me for help.” I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with. “And If you continue to be mean to me then no chicken parm for you.” 

  Andy perked up. “Chicken parm?” I knew I had him with his favorite meal   

“Yep with home made garlic bread.” 

Andy flopped down with a moan. “What did I do to deserve you?” I giggled as I made check marks on my list. “Like you clean and cook and all I have to do is my own bathroom and laundry and give money for groceries.” 

“It’s Iike having a girlfriend without all the messiness,” I dead panned. I’m not sure why I said it but it pulled at my heart all the shit that Andy had to go through with the spawn of Satan. It also cut me to know that Andy would never see me as anything other than his best friend. I think that stung more. 

“Hey, its not like that, Princess,” Andy started. “You know that I cherish you more than anyone in the world.” He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I didn’t mean with anything my comment. I'm saying that living with my best friend has been the greatest time of my life.” 

Goddammit. Why does he have to say shit like that? I give him a soft smile. “Its been the best time for me too, Chewy.” 

Andy bounced out of bed. “Let’s go eat so we head out to the plane.” He placed himself in front of  me and I climbed on his back so he could carry me down stairs. 

As Andy takes out my bag from the trunk, a body slams into me from behind. “Oof!” 

“Hey girl!” I smile at the voice of Bruins trainer and best friend Stella Williams   

“Hey Stel.” I turned as I grabbed my bag. “I’m all set to be stuck on an overnight flight with my best friend and 30 men who have no sense of privacy.”  I gave a big smile to Andy, who rolled his eyes.  

“Yeah, yeah. If I wasn’t aboard, who will protect you from your brother?” My mouth went to argue but he was right.  Dammit. “That’s what i thought.”  

“You know, I hate you sometimes.” I stick my tongue out at him.   

“No, you don’t.” He flashes that fucking smirk that could make a nun swoon.  

I really don’t but I won’t admit it.  I headed to the plane with my head held high, ignoring the laughter coming from Stella and Andy behind me.  

“Hey little sister!” Luke came over and lifted me into a hug. “How are you, Cubby?” 

While Andy called me Princess, Luke called me Cubby as in his baby cub that he took care of.  Made sense since Lukas Andrews was not a small man. Standing 6 foot 1 and easily 230 pounds of solid muscle, Luke was one of the best enforcers for the Bruins. He protected his players, and he learned that by protecting me.  

“Hey Flyboy.” Oh yeah, if Andy and I had Star Wars nick name, then Luke would have one too. Yes, I know, that’s what Leia called Han but Luke had no good nicknames.  We’ve done the research. One weekend, six movies and Andy forever calling himself “General Solo.”  The man has a problem sometimes. “I’m doing good, attempting to control myself from hurting your captain.”  

“What did Andy do now?”  Luke smiled, looking over my shoulder at his best friend. I harrumphed at his attitude and shoved my suitcase in his gut, bending him over with an oof. “What?” 

“Gang up on me and pay the consequences, Flyboy. Just remember who makes you look good on social media so the ladies think they have a chance.” I flash him my “sugary sweet and so innocent smile that you should fear” smile. His smile falls and he swallows.  

“You are scary sometimes, you know that?” 

“I do, and yet, you still gave me your password.”  I flounced away, taking the stairs up the plane to get to my seat.  The plane is divided into three sections.  Coaches and trainers are usually up front, followed by support staff and then the players. Stella and I are the bridge between support and trainers and sit together on the plane.  As I was getting my headphones and book ready for the flight to California, I stopped and said hello to all the players as they walked by. Most just nod or wave, Andy moved to ruffle my head, which I dodged and smacked his hand as he laughed.  I got myself settled, waiting for Stella. 

“Hey Leia,” another voice sounds. I snap my head over to see one of our goalies, Jeremy, stop at my aisle.  

(Meet Jeremy)

“Hi, Jeremy.” I really don’t know what to say.  Jeremy stopping to say hello to me is new, not unwelcome but new.  He is one of the best goalies in the business and well, fuck it, he’s really cute. “Ready for the road trip?” I ask because I have nothing else.  

“Ready! Always wanted to go to Disneyland,” he said with a wink.  

My dead heart beats just a bit faster.  Its been two months since Bret left and I haven’t even thought of another man, besides Andy.  I forgot what it felt like to be flirted with. “That would be cool if we had the time.” I saw Stella board.  “Oops, here comes trouble!” I announce as Stella approaches.  

“I’ll let you get settled.” Jeremy smiles.  “Maybe we can have a drink sometime. See ya Leia, Stella.” He moved on to his seat and I watched as he walked away.  I caught Andy’s face looking at me and for a moment, he looked angry but then he smiled at me, and I knew it was ok.  

“Why was Jeremy Swayman talking with you,” Stella asked. She loved a good romance story.  

I shrugged. “No clue.”  

Thirty minutes later we were in the air and the team manager was going over the schedule for the next ten days.  A ten-day roadie is brutal in the best of times but one with a huge time difference was the worst. The captain announced we were at altitude and shut off the lights in the cabin.  I needed to try and stay awake so I didn’t get jet-lagged and would be able to snap our arrival in San Jose. Suddenly, my stomach twisted.  “Stel, move please?” 

“We haven’t even had anything to drink yet,” she grumbled slowly.  

“Stella, move!” I whisper yelled.  She moved and I raced up the aisle. I made it into the bathroom and heaved everything we had for dinner. I sank to the floor as I tried to breathe through the pain in my stomach and throat. After a few minutes, I was able to get up and wash my face and mouth as best I could.  

“What the hell was that, Leia?” Stella looked me over.  “Girl, you are pale and clammy.”  

“I have no fucking clue, Stel.  My stomach just hurt all of sudden.”  Great, that was the last thing i needed. I didn’t want to be sick while we were in California.  Early November in California still meant great weather and I wanted to take advantage since fall has already made an appearance in Boston. “I hate being sick on the road.” I threw back my head against the head rest.  

“Maybe it's just a one off, Leia.  It happens.  Let’s just wait and see in San Jose.”  

The rest of the flight was fine and traveling to LA meant that it was only three hours from when we took off according to the body clocks.  The guys were headed to the hotel bar, but Stella and I stayed in, reviewing the photos that i took as we left the plane.  

“These are so good, Leia.  Everyone is looking good.  Especially Swayman, Barber and your brother.”  She gives me a smirk while I gag.  

“Gross Stella.  My brother is not hot.” I make a disgusted face as I look at him.  His cocky smile came because I said I would send the photo to Miranda. I shuddered and looked at the photos of Andy.  The guys are required to be dressed in business casual at minimum.  Most are in slacks and a button down, but Andy is never in less than a three piece.  It's his signature fit and let me tell you, I and the rest of the female population, appreciate it. Today’s was a three piece blue pinstripe. Many blessings to his tailor because that suit fits like a glove.  

“You can stop drooling over Barber and tell me what is going on with Swayman.” Stella takes a drink of the wine we brought with us.  

I feel my cheeks burn a little. “I don’t know.  I know the guys know I’m single now because my brother had a big mouth but that thing with Jeremy is new.”  Very new.  As in, what the fuck is going on.  Jeremy is handsome, I would be blind to deny that but I’m just not ready to date. “It's nice though, to be flirted with.” 

“Andy flirts with you all the time,” Stella points out.  

“He does not.  He’s nice because he’s my best friend, my brother’s best friend. It's been that way for years.” Disappointment washes over me.  “Yeah, right would Andy Barber have a thing for me. I mean, let’s check Stella.  I clean for him, he makes me breakfast.  I make dinner, he does dishes.  We are in a mutually beneficial relationship, and not a romantic one.”  

Stella rolls her eyes.  “You are either blind or naive, Andrews. The man is into you.”  

I lay back on the bed with a sigh.  “I wish.  Especially when he is walking around in just a shirt and gray sweatpants. Or in the mornings when he is climbing out of the pool after his swim.”  

“Tell me,” Stella swoons.  “Tell me he had more than six abs.”  

“I will not.  He has six and they are spec-tac-ular.” I went to sit up and that twist happens again, and I run to the bathroom.  Stella follows to hold my hair back as I have my exorcist moment.  Finally, it stops, and I sit back against that bathroom wall.  

Stella gets a washcloth and wets it.  She crouches down and presses it against my forehead, and I moan at how good it feels. “I don’t mean to upset you but is there something you want to tell me?” I look up at my best friend’s eyes. “I mean, could you be pregnant?” 

I laughed a little.  “Stella, be real.  I haven’t had sex since...” and I stop. I count back and realize that I didn’t have a cycle and I’m late for this month. “Oh, shit.”  

I think Stella can see the panic on my face. “Ok, relax. I’m going to the corner market, and I’ll be right back.  It's gonna be ok. Can I leave you here and promise you won’t do anything drastic?”  I nod because I really can’t say anything. She leaves and I’m alone.  

Why the fuck didn’t I notice before? I mean, I guess the stress of the break up and the move took its toll.  Add on that and work and of course I wouldn’t have notice.  Bret was hyper aware when it was time because he liked to schedule his work trips around it.  He didn’t want to be around for the inevitable break downs and cravings of having your period.  God, he was such a jerk.  Thinking of him made me think of when this possibly could have happened. And it hits me. It had been around Labor Day, and we were fooling around before his work trip. I was that 0.03% of woman who have her contraception fail.  

Stella walks back a moment later and hands me a test.  I stare at it like it's a snake ready to strike my hand and I look up at Stella.  “The faster you do this the faster you can either panic or party.  It's up to you.”  

She’s right and I hate it.  I pee on the stick and set it on its wrapping on the counter.  I walk out and chug about half a gallon of water, in fear, I think. “What am I going to do?” 

“Not yet,” she says. We sit there in silence as we wait for the longest three minutes of my life.  I’m not sure if I want it to be positive.  Yes, I’ve always wanted kids.  But I thought I would be married and happy. I’m happy but I live with my brother’s best friend and what if he doesn't want kids in his home?  What if he asks me to leave? I know my brother would take me in but who really wants to live with their brother?  Miranda just moved in. Stella’s phone beeps and I look at her. “Ready?” 

“No.” She looks at me with her threatening face, which is terrifying by the way, and she points to the bathroom.  I get up, my legs shaking and head to the counter.  

“What am i going to do Stella?” We’re sitting at the restaurant in the hotel the next morning. I’m hungry, which is a nice change from being nauseous.  

“Let’s get through the road trip and then we will plan and worry.”  Stella slathered her toast in jam and then dunks it in her over-easy eggs.  

“If you want me to throw up, do that again,” I say with a gag.  I concentrate on my scrambled eggs and toast for a few minutes.  "Can I just say, I really have no idea how I’m going to tell my brother. He is going to lose his shit,” I stop and blurt.  “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Andy.” 

“Tell me what?”  

NEXT

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[decapitated-sticker]

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

No bcs I could litterally go on a rant on why bfidi/bfdia are sooo much better than bfb and tpot (IMO) cuz what the actual flip

Ermm so for starters bfdi is litterally the starting off point!! You don't have bfb or tpot without having bfdi first. And it's the only season so far the finished like an actual season with all the original cast members not being split up.

I love bfdi/bfdia BECAUSE of its like,,,rawness ig?? Like how organic it is. The two shows are passion projects and you can tell!! Not to say that tpot and bfb aren't, but they kind of loose some of that raw value that you find in bfdi and bfdia. And ik some people are like "oml it's just ur nostalgia🤓 he he hem hem" like yeah, I first watched bfdi/mainy bfdia when I was a kid and though the memories of it aren't clear, they are still prominent. I litterally started saying "jk kidding" because of pencil. (Among others quotes) And I feel like I still remember those quotes and little scenes now because they're just more memorable!! And that's bcs they're just better imo!! And i think theyre better because of how much creativity was poured into it!!

I don't wanna be that person that hates on new fans but like, alot of them tend to shit of bfdi and bfida and it's just so infuriating because those are the ones that are a product of true passion and creativity!! and yeah, maybe the humor isn't funny to you. Ok, whatever. It was a long time ago. And maybe the dialog is too "cringe" for you. Ok, I get that. Again, this was back in the 2010s. But it's being able to push past that and recognize that the two shows are just a product of true imagination and hard work is most important!!

Just going on a tangent here but object shows to me are expected to not be produced Iike a regular cartoon and have some errors and mistakes in them because that's how you know it's all just for fun. And I just feel like bfb and tpot loose that. Its fun, but it's not bfdi/bfdia fun. And I think this is because it became more of a career than a little side thing. Which sounds weird because it would be a dream to make object shows full time but then it's not something you can escape to anymore. IDK IF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I HOPE IT DOES LOLOL

But yeah, disregarding bfdi and bfdia and calling them worse than their newer counterparts is disregarding what brought tpot and bfb to life in the first place.

EDIT: I also would like to add that I'm not hating on anyone who likes tpot or bfb more!! Not at all!! It's more so the people who love the newer two so much that they hate on the ogs!! And uhh since this post seems like a big new gen hate post, I'll also add that I love bfb and tpot as well! Obviously not as much as bfdi and bfdia, but I really enjoy how the two newer shows actually like, have deeper character developments! I loved watching characters I grew up watching get more screentime AND more depth!! Erm maybe I'll make a post on what tpot and bfb do right and why I think ppl like them more lolz

Anyway bye!!!!

NOT A HATE POST PLZ PLZ DONT TAKE IT THAT WAY😭😭😭