#and swallow it like a snake

[kissingwookiees]

cats are so funny. wedge feels safe enough to sleep beside me all night without threat of me bringing him back to the vet but the second i suggest we go outside (under no ulterior motive other than knowing he likes his supervised excursions and could probably benefit from munching on some cat grass) he's like 'theres no way you're getting ME to a secondary location lady' and hides under my bed

[ratwithhands]

Snakemas! Based on these guys, Iwakuni snakes (albino Japanese rat snakes):

This AU is (unfortunately) still in early development while I'm busy with school but there's some basic lore bits.

Half-monsters (hanmon) are a third group of organism between humans and pokemon. They are the result of ancient species from both groups combining and evolving over millenia to become specialized species of their own. They have monstrous appearances akin to pokemon, but wield only physical abilities like humans. Due to the nature of how they were formed and how they are viewed, most live in hiding, with only a few thousand individuals being observed and recorded

White Mountain Snakes are native to the Sin-Joh regions, showing up in traditional manuscripts as messengers of regional deities to guide and bring good luck to humans. Ingo and Emmet are children in a family that moved from Sinnoh to Unova. As such they consider themselves part of three cultures, and speak three languages

The twins are one of the only well known examples of hanmon in the present day. Most people are divided on their feelings about half-monsters, so they try very hard to skew the perception in a more positive direction. They act very proper with others and in public, only letting up and relaxing at home

Ingo does end up falling through the rift to Hisui. His main concern is that he fell right as the different clans were fighting over who was right, and having a "divine messenger" appear in Pearl Clan territory has caused a whole new mess for Ingo and the clanspeople

As for the serpents themselves:

The twins are constrictors, lacking fangs and instead having insanely muscular lower halves for wrapping and crushing prey in their grip. Depending on the size of the food they're eating, they might also just crush it with their bare hands to make it more manageable to swallow quickly

They are looooong, something like 10m in length from head to tail. The subway has multiple posters up warning patrons to watch their step in case they trip over them in traffic

They are awfully sensitive to temperature change. They sleep under a giant electric blanket, wear thick uniforms, and set the driving car temperature to be warm. Summer is their best working season, however they tend to stop working in winter to hibernate for about 4 months, much to the dismay of Battle Subway fans, staff, and local grocers

They'll shed about thrice a year and assist each other with peeling it when possible. This is mostly since they aren't dexterous enough to reach parts of their back. Shedding time means it's time for this little competition of theirs where they attempt to pull the longest pieces of shed possible off the other. Ingo is not very good at dealing with Emmet's dry ass and ends up accidentally cracking it most of the time. They sometimes give the scrap shed to Elesa for use in fashion outfits

Ingo's mouth is much narrower than Emmet's, he often has to stretch his jaws to accommodate something Emmet can eat easily. As a result the tissue connecting his jaws in the front is more stretchy

The twins have different organ locations due to their long structure. This usually doesn't affect their job but if you give them a hug you will feel the heart pumping in their abdomen

Thanks to all for reading this far. As a treat have Ingo and Emmet in their separation outfits, Emmet in his uniform and Ingo in the garb gifted by the Pearl Clan.

[qiu-yan]

characters like qin su, su minshan, etc. excluded because they would actually be good kitchen assistants to jiggy

[choccy-milky]

IM DEAD LMAOOO i just took the pottermore patronus quiz (answering how clora might) AND SHE GOT THE FUCKING SWALLOW LMAOO. oh my god this is so ahwehjwhejwh i almost wanna put this in my fic now. sebastian would never let her hear the end of this HAHAHA its so close to sallow i can see the smug look on his face now 💀💀 bye im dead✌️

[oozeandgoo-art]

heard it's open season on yachts down here

[brain-rot-hour]

It's hecking uuuhhhhhhhh

Hades n Persephone or something like that

[ko-fi||P*treon]

[gingiekittycat]

Okay, does anyone else headcanon that Crowley doesn't eat because everything tastes like dust to him?

"The LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life." Genesis 3:14

Crowley's lack of eating has always been so fascinating to me and this has always been my explanation...

If you have links to other headcanons/meta on this please share, I would love to read! I haven't seen too many of them.

[petrichorcrown]

Grips Pav with force

[rolex-kaard]

ultratober day 4

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Oh god

I'm gonna have to tag this story with "Cannibalism Fetishization"

[totalshockwaves]

nobody warned me that the BG3 acknowledges if u kept Korilla alive in the fight against Raphael, but if u use non-lethal on him, he still gets treated as dead and gets eaten by his dad???

like might as well kill him then. sorry bro better to have loot and u be dead when eaten instead of u being alive while being cronus'd...like...

my tav walking back into house of hope right after beating raphael's ass

raphael, still hunched over bleeding & panting on the floor: oh did someone regret how they left things last time they were here?

lia, prepping an eldritch blast: ur dad's gonna eat u either way, so I might as well kill you now. save you some pain.

raphael: ...I'm sorry, my father is going do what???

[autodiscipline]

カメラ・オブスキュラ ✁ Camera Obscura, 2005

[memendoemori]

Me: see, isn't it nice that if you eat slow and do little portions you don't yartz all of your food five seconds after you're done? My cat, watching me shake her kibbles into the puzzle feeder where she uses her tongue to swallow 15 kibbles at a time like an anteater savaging an anthill: MÖTHER I AM BUT A STARVING W A I F

[jaratedeguadalupe]

Virgil: I can’t believe we’re stuck in this room together

Janus, swallowing the key: yes truly unfortunate

[fisheito]

i wonder if yakumos grandparents gave him so much soup bc it's something that can safely be swallowed whole by a small child who doesn't have the full chewing instinct...... don't have to break out the crowbar to wrench the entire chicken out of your babys mouth when you have liquefied the chicken

Gasp... brilliant... not only is soup an expedited form of warm... it is also (generally) choke free

[feral-goblins-unite]

Hi, me again-

I’m requesting we add this song, “In My Mouth”, by Black Dresses, to whatever playlist we’ve started for cattonquick cause-

Argue with the wall if you disagree

(also bonus points to the song for calling out Felix’s oral fixation)