#and that is not the point im trying to mKe

[syncrovoid-presents]

Just have to finish up timing but otherwise I have the first step done! All the big keyframes and scene switch moments have a keyframe with the corresponding word, so now I can go through and add the doodles anywhere without worrying about bouncing back and forth or not having it planned correctly!

So close to getting to sketching!!

Started the animatic, but I'm breaking down the steps to make it easier! The song "Evil Eye" is 2:46 long so it'll be.. a lot. BUT I'm going through now and adding keyframes for each bigger/notably bit so once that's done I can just make the doodles and not be constantly guessing or anything (what destroyed my previous animatic attempt)

I have it all planned so once this step is done its doodling time!! I've looked through some over cool animatics and a lot just do line art or semi-basic stuff so I'll try not to be too perfectionistic haha

The song :D

[elainsgirl]

I actually love azriel and I dont want to dislike him.

Can you please explain what he meant about wanting the third? some say he's entitled and wants elain because his brothers got the other sisters. What I dont think is that he lusts for Elain... Cas was the same way with Nesta.

All I want to know is where he's coming from before I even start to assume things without trying to understand his point.

If Az was entitled to Elain, he wouldn’t be actively staying away from her. If he genuinely believes Elain should be his, then he would stake his claim on her whenever. Not stay away in pain and angst, its contradictory. No entitled man stays away from the woman he supposedly feels entirled Over - how does that logically mke sense? It doesn’t.

if Az wanted Elain *only* because of his brothers being with two of her sisters, then we would have gotten Az spending time and pursuing Elain AFTER solstice, AFTER Nessian became an official mated couple. If Mass wanted to showcase that Az is only interested in Elain because of his brothers the bonus would have taken place later. Not on solstice. And if this was the case, we wouldn’t have been given scenes where Az is blushing over Elain, risking his life to save her, being the first to wish her happy solstice and sharing a charged glance w her. His attraction/attention towards Elain would have only started AFTER solstice. AFTER Nessian officiated the bond. But obviously elriels attraction for each other is written before hand.

Finally - its to showcase a pattern and how its broken. For example, and im not comparing the sisters to bows of porridges I just dont know how else to articulate this -

Imagine you have 3 bowls of porridges. And I tell you, that 2 of these bows are hot and one is cold…you’ll immediately ask

“why is the 3rd bowl of porridge cold? What happened to the 3rd bowl to make it cold whereas the other two are hot? Was it taken out longer? Was it placed in a different area?” Etc. you get the point. You’re immediately drawn to the thing thats not like the others, numerising it just makes it clearer to readers, translating this to ACOTAR.

you have 3 sisters and 3 brothers. 2 sisters ended up being fated mates to 2 brothers, even considering probability - the likeliness that the 3rd sister and 3rd brother are mates is very high YET thats not the case…the 3rd was given to another

why. THAT is what Mass wants you to focus on. Why is there a broken pattern. Why are elucien mates when elriel was the natural and likely option. What happened to have caused this.

If Az had said “how come you and Cass are mated to Feyre and Nesta yet the 3rd was given to another?” -> as he only refers Elain as a number it shows he sees superifically and doesn’t actually care about her as a person

but obviously the actual quote is, “how are TWO of my brothers mated to TWO sisters whilst the THIRD was given to another?” -> there is a broken pattern, a break in the theme of 3. That’s unnatural and you need to think why this happened. Why is there a broken pattern.

Thats all there is to it. Mass just wants you to question why elriel weren’t made mates- its a call back to acowar where Feyre, the MAIN character as well as Sjms mind for the series questions this exact same thing.

“Why not make them (elriel) mates?”

[loki-says-trans-rights]

Okay salty time but. It really bothers me that some wicca witches act as if wicca-specific things are General Witchcraft Things.

I might have better words to say this later but basically when i got into witchcraft i had just learned the word "paganism", i was looking for a community and found a group chat advertised as a pagan chat. I learned a lot and it was a great time but what they taught me was in big parts wicca. Which is not bad in itself but it took me leaving that community and finding other spaces to learn that not all witchcraft is wicca and that there are many forms of witchcraft and paganism and that they aren't all the same or follow the same principles.

And i see the same thing happening in many places to other people, especially baby witches.

And you know, some people just don't want to be wicca or use wiccan practices for their own reasons, and that gets really hard when you dont even know what wicca is and how to stay away from it.

I can do it because i learned a lot of wicca so now i can tell what is and isn't wicca in big part. But baby witches can't.

This is also a problem in some irl spaces by the way, i once took part in a ritual with some other witches (most of whom were much older than me) and before the ritual we talked about what we were going to do and if anyone had any objections to it and when we had agreed on a plan we did it, but then near the end two participants suddenly did a wicca thing that i had not been informed of earlier and it was basically about putting a knife/athame (representing the divine masculine) into a chalice (representing the divine feminine) and the implication was... s3x. As queer and nonbinary person i felt really uncomfortable with it, to me it seemed to imply cissexist heteronormative ideas. Obviously i dont know their intentions or whatever but i wasnt asked beforehand, it was just assumed that everyone would be so okay with it that it didn't even need mentioning when we were discussing the ritual ahead of time. most of the other witches present there were not even wicca and it is unclear if they were okay with it.

I think this doesn't only apply to wicca – there are also other strands if witchcraft whose names i dont all know that could make people want to avoid them, asatru being an obvious example because of there being nazi asatru groups out there in the wild.

I'm not trying to say that all heathens are nazis, not at all, the ones i met were mostly queer themselves (and i am an antifa heathen myself so yea,,); equally not all Wicca witches believe in heterosexuality as the default and not all women-only groups are trans-exclusionary, in the same way that not all christians are raging homophobes or antisemites yet people still might have reasons to stay away from christian practices, be it associations with parts of the group who hurt them or something else. Heck, you could even just not like the vibes of a religion or whatever, and that should be enough of a reason to want to stay away from their teachings.

But this is very hard when these teachings are not labeled as such and are presented as "universal witchcraft things" and the wicca witch sabbats as universal witch festivities. The heathen i group i knew celebrated on more or less the same dates as wicca witches do, but with sometimes vastly differing names, meanings and traditions for those events.

I guess this is something that happens easily when a religion gets really big in its particular (sub)culture, as many witches who live in widely christian countries will be aware of. (Other religions too, presumably, tho i havent lived it so i cant speak from experience.)

But yeah, I'm just asking you to tag your stuff. I'll try to do the same. Not everyone wants to hear about heathen tradition or chaos witchcraft and that's fine too!

[mini-melo]

hahaha im writing this as im working online, and while my doc said i shouldnt tire myself, i literally need to write this or im gonna burst.

this is more focused around the hermits and tommy's interactions before ghostinnit happened. also, the hermits here are the ones closest to tommy and also the most i could write at midnight and trying to fight off meds that mke me sleepy.

anyway, feel free to request any scenario or just tommy vibing with other hermits. i'll do my best to write it.

anyway, without further ado, i present a part of my hermit!tommy au that isnt angst, finally.

---

GRIAN

Tommy took to Grian like water off a duck's back. It didn't take long before both were wrecking havoc among the server.

For Grian's part, he takes one look at this tall gremlin, and practically adopts him. Gremlins of chaos should stay together, after all.

(He wants those haunted eyes of the newbie to be gone. He wants to help him just like Hermitcraft helped Grian in the aftermath of YHS and EVO.)

They start small, rearranging the contents of Lookie Lookie at My Bookie. Then they get pink carpets and covers the heart in Mumbo's base with it.

They grab baby Yoda from Scar again, and set up a treasure hunt filled with chicken canons and slime blocks in the most infuriating parts of the hunt.

(Grian introduces Poultry Man to Tommy, and then Pesky Bird is born.)

Tommy never thought he'd have any more brothers after DSMP happened, but here we are, with Tommy in full Pesky Bird attire, setting up a giant chicken above the Omega Tree and Grian—sorry, Poultry Man—makes poop made out of diorite until it touches one of the gigantic branches.

And, hey, if Iskall tried to stifle a grin as he complains at the laughing duo, then that's between him and his now-clean tree.

---

XISUMA

It wasn't Xisuma who actually emotionally adopted Tommy. No, no, it was Tommy who forced himself into the admin's life.

Tommy is a traumatized child from a server with a corrupt admin. A server with a fixed set of lives. A server with a ghost, with hybrids forced to hide themselves or limit themselves, or even cut off their extra appendages unless they want the admin to permanently kill them.

But Tommy is also smart. He started more than one nation, he led an army in more than one war, he fought two withers and came out alive, he's bled and died so much that he's lost count.

Tommy knows what corruption in a person looks like, but he also knows what a proper admin is.

(He has to thank SMPEarth for that, war-torn as it was. At least then, no admin abused their powers. At least then he could respawn and freely watch his dad Philza Minecraft soar in the sky with no care for the world.)

Because of this, Tommy can be seen around Xisuma if he isn't around his fellow gremlin. Tommy watched him tend to his bees, make more towers, make some redstone contraptions, and most importantly, learns about this unbelievable, utopic land that Tommy's found himself in.

When Tommy started making his starter base, he made it beside Xisuma's mega base. He tried to replicate the style of Xisuma's, and while not quite perfect, Xisuma hugs Tommy regardless.

(He's never be proud of his accomplishments before, no matter if he braided Techno's hair as a child, nor if he gave his most valuable possessions and a life to win a war.)

Xisuma, Tommy thinks, has been more of a father than what he remembers from Philza and his childhood.

---

ZOMBIECLEO

When Cleo managed to save Wilbur's coat, Tommy all but clings to her. In the DSMP, you can't trust anybody with your valuables, whether they offered to fix it or not.

Tommy took a leap here, to lend the coat to Cleo and praying to gods he didn't believe that she'll fix it instead of burning it.

(It's the only thing Tommy has of his family. Or, well, the only family he acknowledges. Wilbur was more of a father than Phil ever was, when they were children. Granted the bar was pretty low, but Tommy liked to cling to even the smallest bit of affection.)

Cleo smiles and teaches Tommy how to stitch and pose armour stands. Tommy isn't the best, with his sloppily made leather armour and wonky amour stand, but Cleo still praises him, and Tommy thinks it's the prettiest thing he's ever made.

Perfection isn't the point of this, anyway. Cleo taught Tommy, however unconsciously, to be patient and be proud of his own work. Tommy thanks her with two armour stands hand in hand at the entrance of her zoo, Cleo and Tommy's head on each of it. There are sloppily made copies of their outfits, even his coat's own stitches and Cleo's tears in her own clothes are there.

(Tommy eventually makes armour stand stories in a room dedicated to it in his mega base, later in the season. Cleo will unashamedly admit she shed a tear.)

---

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

[carapeace]

She smiled and shook her head at the screen. Her kitty was strange sometimes. He excelled in poorly timed puns and always tried to surprise her with a pickup line. He loved roses and tended to swing his tail when he was bored. Ladybug knew, from several identity patrols, that he liked video games and movies but liked reading just as much. He loved to stargaze, had an action figure of every superhero including the one-off ones, and once he even told her that story of him wandering the streets of Paris in an astronaut helmet. (Though he hadn’t told her why. Ladybug supposed it breached the identity rule.)

But nothing matched the sheer chaos he exuded when playing Among Us.

(aka a weird fever dream thing that my midnight brain came up with)

ladybubs [pink] joined the lobby. catnerd [black] joined the lobby.

catnerd: evening mlady ladybubs: yo

foxy lady [orange] joined the lobby. turtle man [lime] joined the lobby. vye pier ee on [green] joined the lobby. Ryuko [red] joined the lobby.

Ryuko: hello!

Pegasus [white] joined the lobby. time bunny [cyan] joined the lobby. king kong [brown] joined the lobby.

king kong: hell yeah i’m ready!!

There are 2 Impostors among us. 

Ryuko: Can someone explain to me how you play this game?  turtle man: just do your tasks  foxy lady: click the map foxy lady: go to the exclamation points foxy lady: and just do what it tells you to do Ryuko: ok 

It had all been Chat’s idea. He’d wanted everyone to drop their discord so they could go on voice, but Ladybug had vehemently declined, citing identity reasons. Chat hadn’t pressed. 

-DEAD BODY REPORTED- Discuss! 

turtle man: where  vye pier ee on: nav  Ryuko: King monkey is dead? ladybubs: looks like it catnerd: i saw lb headed there catnerd: its her ladybubs: no i never went there foxy lady: skip? vye pier ee on has voted. foxy lady has voted. time bunny: i was still swiping my card turtle man: anyone who can’t get their card swipe on the first try is simply inferior time bunny: wow way to flex turtle man: i’m just built different time bunny has voted. catnerd: im telling you it’s ladybug  catnerd has voted.  ladybubs: idk black sus turtle man: she makes a fair point ladybubs has voted. turtle man has voted. Ryuko: Who do I vote for? vye pier ee on: who do you think is the impostor? Ryuko: Chat Noir catnerd: WHAT Ryuko has voted. Pegasus has voted.

No one was ejected. (Skipped)

Ryuko was doing a wonderful job playing dumb. Kagami Tsurugi was a lot of things, but she was not inexperienced. She came to win. She always came to win. But they didn’t have to know that. Marinette knew the game better than any of them, with the possible exception of Chat. She came to win, too. The two of them were an absolutely unstoppable team. Except for one thing: her lovable catboy kept getting in the way...

-EMERGENCY MEETING- Discuss!

catnerd: LSLDKIJFDKS foxy lady: what turtle man: seriously i was almost done with simon says catnerd: ITLSDK LADYBSUG ladybubs: i just caught chat noir faking a task so he called a meeting to try and blame it on me catnerd: SHE JSUT VENTED RIHGT IN FRONT OF MKE ladybubs: see Ryuko: Hmmm looks quite suspicious vye pier ee on: skip, i wanna do my tasks ladybubs: im voting chat he’s making himself sus ladybubs has voted. vye pier ee on has voted. time bunny has voted. time bunny: sorry chat youve gotta go Pegasus: Do you even have an alibi?? catnerd: i was in reactor and she vented in to try and find a kill ladybubs: nah Pegasus has voted. foxy lady has voted. turtle man has voted. catnerd has voted. Ryuko has voted.

No one was ejected. (Skipped)

Adrien ground his teeth in frustration. As much as he hated selling out his lady, he hated not being listened to even more. But he had one thing against him: he was terrible at this game. He could never convince people to trust him - he couldn’t play the social aspect of it without sounding suspicious. And Ladybug knew it. She’s playing the long game, he realized. He’d have to outsmart her if he wanted to beat her. And he knew he could never outsmart her. He sighed. The best he could do was stir up chaos, and stirring up chaos was what Chat Noir did best.

-DEAD BODY REPORTED- Discuss!

foxy lady: dang double kill ladybubs: rip viperion and carapace foxy lady: where was it ladybubs: electrical foxy lady: ah catnerd: YOU GUYS IM TELLING YOU ITS LADYBUG foxy lady: youve been a lil sus catboy foxy lady: where have you been all this time? catnerd: TRAILING LLADYBUG!!! ladybubs: he was following me around the whole map ladybubs: i only missed him when someone turned out the lights foxy lady: well if you were following her the whole time she couldn’t have been impostor Ryuko: It’s true. Chat does seem quite sus. ladybubs has voted. catnerd has voted. catnerd: vote lb if you value your lives Ryuko has voted. foxy lady has voted. Pegasus has voted.

Chat Noir was not An Impostor. 2 Impostors Remain.

Victory - Ladybug, Ryuko

Adrien shouted a surprised “goddammit” so loudly that a sleep-deprived Nathalie, feverishly working one floor down, jumped in her chair.

Marinette cackled so evilly that Tikki, who had been in her dollhouse resting, came to peer over her shoulder, making sure she wasn’t about to become the next Hawkmoth.

And Kagami Tsurugi just smiled to herself, in the dark on her phone way after her bedtime, a cool smile that comes from the rush of victory.

Play again?

New lobby

ladybubs joined the lobby. catnerd joined the lobby.

catnerd: DAMMIT BUG

Ryuko joined the lobby. turtle man joined the lobby. foxy lady joined the lobby.

turtle man: wow. WOW. foxy lady: RYUKO??? Ryuko: B-)

king kong joined the lobby.

king kong: i always get killed off first ladybubs: nothing personal man

vye pier ee on joined the lobby. time bunny joined the lobby. Pegasus joined the lobby.

time bunny: wow ryuko you are cutthroat vye pier ee on: i gotta admit you two really had me Pegasus: Agreed. ladybubs: *high five* Ryuko: ? ladybubs: high five me back!! Ryuko: *high five* ladybubs: !!! ladybubs: ok can i start king kong: yeah

There are 2 Impostors among us.

-EMERGENCY MEETING- Discuss!

foxy lady: oh come on what now catnerd: it’s ladybug turtle man: oh not again vye pier ee on:��you serious man??

Marinette was tempted to make a voice chat, just to hear Chat Noir’s reaction when he found out who the impostor was. She’d pay for a ticket to see his face. She could almost picture it now - eyes wide, mouth open with shock, eyebrows furrowed with the indignation of betrayal.

Adrien was a man on a mission, and for some reason, even after last game’s debacle, nobody ever seemed to trust him. 

catnerd has voted. foxy lady has voted. turtle man has voted. vye pier ee on has voted. Ryuko has voted. Pegasus has voted. king kong has voted. time bunny has voted.

Pegasus: Rena’s pretty sus too. foxy lady: the game literally just started chat called the meeting just to get ladybug out ladybubs: and it’s not gonna work. catnerd: beware the bug!! ladybubs: ha ha. everyone knows the cat scratches harder. catnerd: wanna bet? ladybug: actually, yes. i’ll beat you into the dirt. catnerd: oh it’s on vye pier ee on: it’s never wise to challenge ladybug in anything man catnerd: >:3 ladybubs: >:3 turtle man: knock off your flirting and vote ladybug ladybubs has voted.

It was cute, how much he got into the game, Marinette decided. Even if he’d never beat her. She was a master strategist. She knew how to play the social game. She’d win every time. Still. It was adorable how he thought he could hold a candle to that. She held back a giggle as she watched him reply in the chat, thinking of how his face must have looked, challenging her.

Adrien was going to expose Ladybug and win this time. I mean, they couldn’t eject him every time, right? He was bound to win, one way or another. Even though he never won any games he played with her. This one was his for the taking. It’s on, Bug.

catnerd was not An Impostor.

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[lanamemories2]

rides onto the dash nude n on horseback like this pic of sam way. oh fancy seeing u here.......... im impeccably tensed our entire exchange. buns like steel cld crack a nut open between them. i’m nai n it’s so nice to meet u all!!!! i’m one of the admins here (josefine frida pettersen on the main) n i’m so Excited 2 get things going........... some facts abt me r i sometimes hv a witch’s cackle, i once drunkenly swung frm a tree branch pretending to b tarzan n fell n grass stained my fav jeans at 4 in the morning n i lov spicy food despite the fact it mkes me sweat like a hog in the sun. more abt lana under the cut!!! also like this or hmu if u wna plot n her pinterest is here n playlist is here 👺🌚

「kristine froseth & cis-female」⇾ jameson , lana, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a gemini and 22 years old. she is studying dance, living in off campus and can be vivacious, passionate, childish & impulsive. when i see her i am reminded of stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, lipstick on a stranger’s throat, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

AESTHETICS:

scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, an origami swan made from an old receipt, tickling a stranger’s chin with the end of a feather boa, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off a bruise there, doodling penises in the condensation of a car window, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. albums framed on the walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i summarised it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”, not that u wld know from all of the gardener’s pruning

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. (drugs/addiction tw) they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast. very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation/delusion tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her PBJs so they lkd like teddy bears (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents / a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving like pretty besides herself bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in n out of hospital n he turned to using as a way to cope so it’s been a rly bumpy road since. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her

ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably Pretty Gorl

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

(hypersexuality tw) this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr hookups even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. the risk is honestly part of the appeal to her sometimes she’s :////// quite self destructive n jst likes a thrill to mke her feel Alive. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) she’s had.................... SCH a bad history dating wise. she almost always dates fking.... actual beasts like i jst wna gently shake her by the shoulders sometimes bt :////////////// one of her recent exes is in prison aftr he beat up someone she’d slept w in front of her like she jst. has had a very Not Sexy time w romance...... she hd to b a witness in the trial abt it n he ws found guilty n sent down so it ws like Intense n a gd example of the kinds of disastrous relationships she gets herself into. perks of being a wallflower voice: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.

this past summer she gt a job at a burlesque club in downtown lovell!!! it honestly is her dream job like. dancing? being sexy? fav hobbies................. most delicious pastimes... 10/10 ideal fr her............... she almost started working at a coyote ugly bar bt this one won her over. she usually jets off to some foreign country n has a rly exotic n action packed summer bt i think she wldv just been working local there fr this one to b close to her brother (the rehab he’s at is close like a 40 min drive so!). she’s also moved into a big lofty apartment w 3 roommates tht’s above a chinese take out w lots of lanterns hung outside. the street? scott street......................... tribute to mizz phoebe bridgers hunger games salutes to the sky so it travels 2 her............. she gt a red heart shaped bath tub installed which hs always been her dream so honestly the summer hs been pretty gd to her....... five stars on yelp she deserves Some happiness once in a while

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

growing up lana was always a HUGE social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget (cld b a gd or bad thing depends on ur Stance...... she can be a lot tho frankly). very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring act tht femme fatales wear in movies sometimes. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as or the person she feels ppl want her to be. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

always the last one awake at the party. jst doesn’t seem to hv.... an off switch. every1 else cld b passed out at 6am n she’d still b swaying around to sunday morning by the velvet underground in her underwear drinking frm a bottle of merlot

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories

uncontrollably flirty. she’s tht tumblr post tht’s like flirting will b ur hubris n the reply is like kind of sexy of u to say so................ SO confident cld talk to anyone. makes a joke out of anything. tends to laugh when she feels like crying. even if she DOES cry she’ll smile thru it like it isn’t happening she jst.... doesn’t like to b negative ever if she cn help it

she’s amassed a weird collection of like... Things various ppl she’s known hv made abt her. this guy she ws friends w wrote a song abt her n performed it at a gig she went to without telling her in advance. it ws rly dramatic he sang it n looked at her the whole time n she ws jst a bit like.... omg.... lmfao............... she’s also hd various paintings done of her. i honestly dnt even rly kno hw it happens she jst has a personality where she..... leaves an impression like a lipstick print on a white shirt w some ppl.................. she’s like tht tumblr post where someone arrives at a poetry reading n is like hi yes........ where do the muses sit? except she isn’t rly.... obnoxious abt it she jst shrugs n is like.......... oh that........... KJHSFKHGSFKGHSFKGSFHGK. it’s a charmed life fr some

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

PLOTS:

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. whips her in the town square like gale

mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her??? chaos. anguish. strife. 

someone tht works at the burlesque club in downtown lovell w her!!!!! as like a bartender or another dancer or security or................... whtvr honestly. hvn’t worked out a name fr the club yet bt i think it cld b a fun setting to write stuff in n there cld b lots to build off there!!

a cousin plot cld b fun too

her n freya nilsen run smthn called Dick Sisters Inc......... they hv a twitter fr it n everything.... n a hq based in one of the abandoned dorms in the leach building.... lots of inflatable furniture disco balls.............. lana even gt replica airplane seats so they cn sit n b served drinks by this guy tht runs errands fr them who they call bucket....... they bsically like. set ppl up n help ppl get laid it’s a matchmaking service of sorts.......... started as a joke bt nw it’s genuinely become quite a profitable business w word spreading all over campus........ ugh entrepreneurial icons... anyway mayb ur chara cld come to lana fr Dick Sisters assistance......... mayb they’v come to them in the past......... 

a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other.

someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh

briefly did camgirl stuff on an independent bt up n coming porn site....... titters.......... mayb ur muse used a pseudonym n recognises lana frm it bt is too embarrassed to admit they were subscribed............ mayb they happened upon her on there once n nw r jst like. what do i do w this knowledge. idk cld b fun to work around perhaps

an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool)

someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label

someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all i won’t lie to u. relentless.....

umm a good influence too mayb?

honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. world’s our oyster fellas!

[cogneartive]

The Beach Boys go to the Museum

A crackfic. Read if you want to immediately lose all your brain cells.

---

    Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was daydreaming about girls going to the museum which was very educational. More educational than daydreaming about girls which is good for you which is why he was daydreaming about going to the museum instead of girls. 

    “Yoo hoo brothers!” he said. 

    “What is it, big brother?” shouted Dennis and Carl Wilson from another part of the Beach Boys ResidenceTM

    “I have decided to go to the museum which is a very educational activity for us to do which will be beneficial for us,” said Brian. “I will call our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine.”

    “Oh ok, big brother,” the two younger Wilsons said. “As soon as we get out of the shower and clothe ourselves (which will probably align with the arrival of our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine), we shall take off in the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum as you wish.”

T I M E S K I P

    “Incredible,” said Carl Wilson. “We have finished showering and being clothed just as our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine, have arrived.”

    “Now we can go to the  Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum Brian Wilson, my big brother, wishes.”     “I hate this story,” said Michael Edward Love, a man with no taste.

“Do not attempt to break the fourth wall,” said Brian Douglas Wilson, extremely annoyed at Mike Love’s lack of taste.

“Harrumph >:( !” harrumped Michael Edward Love.

Suddenly, Bruce Arthur Johnston appeared out of Norway. “May I come too?”

“Permission accepted,” said Al Jardine

T I M E S K I P

    The beach boys arrived at the Museum of Interesting Plot which interested them very much. They headed into the museum, where they bumped into GASP! The Beatles - an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 with a line-up comprising John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, who are regarded as the most influential band of all time. 

    “THE BEACH BOYS!” the bug boys ejected.

    “THE BEATLES!” the sand children exclaimed.

    “What a coincidence that we have bumped into you guys in the exact same museum,” said John Lennon. “I bet you were trying to sneak behind us and steal our songwriting ideas >:O”

    “Absolutely not >:O” said Brian Wilson, putting his hands on his hip in a gesture of frustration. “I bet YOU were trying to sneak behind us and steal OUR songwriting ideas”

    “We were not >:O” said Sir James Paul McCartney.

    They started fighting and in the moment of anger, they broke!! The statue of David (not Crosby unfortunately for the statue of David Crosby has cursed the museum for over a century now)!!!!!!!

    “HEY” said The Manager of The Museum (which was an unfortunate name given to him by his parents sad emoji)

    “Oh no” said Brian Wilson.

“Oh no” said Carl Wilson.

“Oh no” said Dennis Wilson.

“Oh no” said Mike Love.

“Oh no” said Al Jardine.

“Oh no” said Bruce Johnston.

“Oh no” said George Harrison.

“Oh no” said Paul McCartney.

“Oh no” said Ringo Starr

“Yoko Ono?” said John Lennon. “My wife in the future, depending on the era.”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” THERE WAS A CAR CRASHING INTO THE MUSEUM WHICH BROKE THE STATUE OF DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

IT WAS THE POOR MONKEES!!! IN THE MONKEE MOBILE!!!

“Ouchies!” said Micky Dolenz.

“OMG” said The Manager of The Museum (who happened to also be a clone of  Ringo Starr) He was angry. Very angry. So angry, that he was angry. “You guys better pay for this.”

“But we can’t,” said the Beatles (for Brian Epstein did not give them their allowance that day)

“We can’t either,” said the Beach Boys (for they had already spent enough on getting a nintendo switch to play animal crossing: new horizons.

This is left the poor, poor Monkees. “Bruh we poor af.”

“Then you have to work to pay for it smh,” said The Manager of The Museum.

“OH NO!” said all of them at once.

“You must go around the museum to find three fragments of the broken statue that you have broken, which somehow have been transported into the museum which you must complete challenges to get!”

“Like Dora the Explorer?” asked George Harrison, the youngest member of the Beatles. 

    “Yea,” saidThe Manager of The Museum. “Ok bye im gonna play animal crossing: new horizons now :))))))”

    “Ok. We must split up into three groups.”

BEACH BOYS SECTION - THE HALL OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WATER

    “Wow, how convenient is that we have coincidentally walked into the hall of things that have to do with water,” said Denny Wilson. “It is as this was planned.”

    And then…………………….”oh my god a wave,” said M*ke Love.

    “QUICKLY INTO THE BEACH GEAR” shouted Brian Wilson as they proceeded to use the sims animation to change into their beach gear. “NOW WE MUST.,,,,,,,,,,,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,”

“We thro Dennise into da water bc he is da only 1 who can surf XD” said Mke Luv as he tossed Deniise into da water liKE A BOSS AND HI-FIVES ALL ROUND WAPOOSH WAPOOSH TAHK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING AND I’LL SEE U IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *outro plays*

“Ahem,” said Ctrl. “We did not bring a surfboard,,,,,,,,so how is he supposed to surf??? Thonk emoji. Lmfao roasted XD”

“We use (drumroll pls) AL SARDINE as Da Surfboard Lmao!!!” said Miiiiiike lov e as they all jumped on Al Jardine.

“I did not feel a thing, lol” said ALAN JARDINE because he was a super strong boy (stock image of a blond guy flexing his muscles).

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

“Bruh we reusing animation bro,” said Denal Wilson.

“Oh look an island,” said Brain. Dey all hopped off and landed on the island. On the island was Kurt Cobain.

“Wow Mr Kurt Cobain,” said Broose Honda. “I did not know you lived on dis island.”

“I don’t rofl,” said Coq Au Vin as he handed them a statue fragment.

“Oh wow thx Coco Van,” as they flew away.

MONKEE SECTION - THE HALL OF….I DONT KNOW

    “Lmao is that Stephen Arthur Stills, an American singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist best known for his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,” joked Micky Dolenz, pointing to a mirror in front of Peter Tork.

    “Lol yeah,” said Stephen.

    Micky screamed.

    “Here you go broski,” said Stephen Stills, handing them a fragment.

    “But what did we do?” asked Mike Nesmith.

    “Allowing the author to make the awful, often repeated annoying joke about me and Peter Halsten Thorkelson looking like identical twins.”

    “Ok thanks brewski,” said the Monkees as they headed off. “Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”

    “Wait,” said Davy. “But Peter was standing there just now.”

    “No, I was standing there.”

    The Monkees looked at each other and had a collective sigh. It was not gonna be as easy as they thought.

    And to make this complication more complicated, the author decided to make David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young walk into the scene.

    “Bro Stephen wtf,” said Neil. “I knew you were small but I didn’t think you could crawl into the vents like that.”

    “But I’m Peter??????????”

    “Oh no not again,” said Graham Nash, already getting another headache.

    “Wait, wait wait, just a moment,” said Davy Jones. “Go back a bit. What do you mean by crawling through the vents.”

    “Please do not question the plot,” threatened David Crosby. 

    “YUH DAVY” said Micky. “Come on now, Peter,” - he grabbed Peter’s hand -” we gotta advance the plot.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”     Micky looked at him with such an expression that expressed a deep amount of hatred for the author. “It doesn’t matter. You guys are the same person anyway.”

The other lads shrugged and took poor Peter Halsten Dorkelson who was too confuzzled and befuddled and bamboozled to be crying.

BEATLES SECTION - THE HALL OF PAPERWORK

    “This is so boring,, (-_-)” said Jawn Jennon. “I think George Harrison fell asleep.”     “L M A O i did rofl lol,” said Heorge Garrison.

    “I am surprised because there is so much paperwork lying about that all look so boring!!” said Paul McEyelash.

    “Someone should clean this up smh,” said Ringone Starone.

    “YAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all sed at 1nce. That yawn pushed a stack of paper off a table, which caused a chain reaction, leading to a bucket falling down, a train being activated, a cow mooing and the members of Queen being awoken from their frozen-in-som-kind-a-tube state.

    “BRO WTF WHOMST WOKE US UP (((p(>o<)q)))” said Roger Taylor, stretching. “I was still having my beauty sleep.”

    “(O.O) omg (O.O)(O.O) oh mah gawd (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)” said Freddie Mercury. “Are those (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) the legendary (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) bug boys????????”

    “Ja” said gH.

    “ヽ(★ω★)ノ” said Brian May

    “(¬_¬") smh you woke up my cheese toast,” said John Deacon.

    “I guess, we should thank u for waking us up,” said Freddeh.

    “We wuz nevah gonna wake up,” said Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Mei.

    “Take dis,” Rogah Taylah gave them a statue fragment that had landed in his hair.

    “Wow thanks that was EZ lmao,” said the bug boys as they went away.

T I M E S K I P

    “（●＾o＾●）” said The Manager of the Museum as he stuck the broken statue fragments of the broken statue of the Museum of Interesting Plot Idea (well I think that what it was called Lmao I didn’t check don’t correct me doe lel)

    “It was’t very challenging at all doe…” said Sand Children. “And for a story with out name in the title, we did not seem to get much attention at all.”

    “Shut up you’ll get your moment later,” said the others pointing down to the rest of the story. “See look at that.”     “None of this is very good,” said Mike Hate, a man with no taste.

    They all went into their respective vehicles and drove away.

    “WAIT!!!!!!” said Dave Jone of the Monkees, pausing the time. “We did not resolve the plot point of us actually kidnapping Steven Stills?????”

    “Help me,” said Stepe.

    “STFU IT’S OUR STORY (◣_◢)” said the beach of the boys, so infuriated with them that smoke came out of their ears like a boiling kettle and their eyes started glowing red which indicated anger.

    “Oh ok sorry lel, he’s British Lol,” said Mike Nesmith.

    “STFU Myke Gessmith.”

    “;~;” said Mike Nukesmith.

    “Y do u guys always have to take the spotlight?!” asked the Beaky Bubs.

    “Bc we’re the author’s favourites, unfortunately,” said Micky, shivering at the memories of what had happened to them before in previous crack fics.

    “Sux for u lmao.”

    Uh how to end dis. Boom. Story done lel.

    THE END FADE TO BLACK

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.Al Barmine

[katiemctlin]

text ✨🍷 katie & jake

katie: i saw a chocolate labrador tonight and crIDE

katie: *crEID

katie: CRIED

katie: I'm drnk im sorry but the point I was trying to mke was that it kindaa looked like you. thats not why i cried but yano

katie: tinyurl.com/ysa22by3

[trichstory2008-blog]

if they only knew what was going on

my head is a mess im struggling to cope with everything my mood is very up and down im scared and lonley and wish there some way any way to mke it stop i want to be normal its hard to explane why im feeling like this its like theres something going in my head wich i dont know what it is the only thing is that i wish it will stop and it to stop doing this but it just wont im trying so hard but it going to get to the point where i give up on my self and everything anyways going to some art to distract my self so i dont give in 

[yhhhhhhhhhuhuh]

for everyone saying dammek isn't abusive just because he said he likes xefros' smile, from someone who has been emotionally abused:

abusive relationships are NOT black and white, abusive relationships are complex. believe it or not, an abuser can even care about and really love their victim and still abuse them because they don't know what they're doing is wrong or they simply refuse to listen when people tell them they're being shitty. everyone is a complex person and homestuck is one of the best mediums where they really make an example of complex people, no one is all one thing.

dammek could genuinely like xefros' smile and care about him to a degree and still be emotionally abusing him. xefros shows so many symptoms of someone who has been or is being emotionally abused. he's incredibly fixated and reliant on his abuser, he apologizes so often, he has little to no value for himself and puts dammek on a pedestal above him, etc. and dammek takes complete advantage of this, whether or not he knows he does, we already know that dammek took xefros' hoverboard and modified it to be his own.

we know that dammek will randomly test xefros, and if xefros gets one thing wrong, he gets angry. we haven't seen it happen but it's so heavily implied that you'd have to be completely inept or in denial. i'll give you a direct example of how this shit works and why it's so easy to tell.

when i was with my abuser, whenever i made the smallest mistake he'd threaten to leave me. tell me how much he hated me. he'd mke me cry, make me feel like absolute garbage and this happened almost as frequent as every other day. he acted as though i had purposely done everything to hurt him. it's hard to explain but i'm sure you understand.

yesterday, i made a mistake (kinda). i fell asleep while having a suicidal breakdown after talking to my current boyfriend about it and in doing so made him think i was dead on accident. when i woke up i had a breakdown that was worse than the one i had had earlier. i was crying so hard to the point i felt like i was going to vomit, i felt like he was gonna leave me and that he'd never love me the same way again. i was petrified, all because of the mental association i had with messing something up thanks to my abuser, my boyfriend hadnt even said anything that prompted me to feel like that. it was all in my head.

now, to xefros' relationship with dammek and how it's similar.

we've never seen the two interact, but saw how he acted when he was talking to joey and thought she was dammek. he was constantly scared of messing up and was constantly apologizing, he was stressed, he was scared. the way he acted just... feels similar to what happened with me. the residue of being emotionally abused, being scared of things just because you've been conditioned to be scared of them by your abuser. being constantly scared of messing up. being scared of a sort of punishment from the person you look up to for making the smallest mistake.

i don't know how much sense this made i just needed it off my chest. stop trying to say dammek didnt or isnt abusing xefros, its really just fucking ignorant and idk what damn universe youre living in where you think dammek isnt doing anything thats hurting xefros.

sorry if any of this makes no sense or seems ramble-y, im exhausted and i don't feel like proofreading. there are more points to be made about this but im too tired to make them, if anyone else would like to add on please feel free.

[203y]

this is sofu cked up why would i draw this he wouldnt sdo that why woudl i ever mke this im csryign and shaking he aoould never dfo this wnyh

FINALLY on the final stretch for this book jhljkdhjkgh and then i get to make this post even uglier looking to see on your dashboard with THE SECOND ONE ill add either tonight or tomorrow bc ive been at this for uhhhhh hmm too long

what IS up with these kinda honestly unsettling lookin flowers lmao

shes going oh no because her wife looks so beautiful trying on the $500 dress above its bringing her 2 tears

WAIT nvm shes going oh no because im a fuckign gay genderqueer furry in the future LMAO

YEAH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MY FURRY AWAKENING BECAUSE I REMEMBER I WAS READING THE NOTORIOUSLY INCESTUOUS AND IGNORANTLY RACIST HORNY SLICE OF LIFE WEBCOMIC SERIES BETTER DAYS BY JNAYLOR AS THE LITERAL FIRST EXPOSURE INTRODUCTION TO FURRYDOM THAT WASNT MAINSTREAM CARTOONS AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I THINK THIS IS FANART OF THE THEIR MILF BECAUSE I CANT IMAGINE ANYWHERE ELSE I COULD HAVE GOTTEN THE ARMY WIFE SHIRT FROM????? hate i had to google to remember the name oh my fucking god

i had a how to draw cats book that included a selection of famously known CARTOON cats and i went apeshit tracing that gfhjsdgkfhs

decadence 

LOVE you can still make out felix like perfectly thru the page jgfhgljkhs

the absolutely horrifying it here faded in the corner from being transferred like 2 pages over lmfao

from this point onward in my life i do nothing but fanart

and not even good fanart RIP my originality

well maybe not so much but

lmfoa stolen ass design i saw on deviantart, i made myself a poster of this once

these arent even my words either and its still incomprehensible somehow i love it

FINALLY. THE END. the last page is both me and my older brothers doodling lol he was my second art inspiration right after my mom!! wahhhh this sent me for a long ride of emotions :”D this was nutz. def posting the other book tomorrow tho LOL i need to eat dinner ive been putthing these stupid posts together for like 4 hours now :/ worth it

i know ive thought about it a lot but i legit carnt remember if i ever actually posted about my like. very VERY first ‘sketchbooks’ that i kept as a kindergartner-aged child that still exist in my possession???? because this is really really fuckin good

im so pissed i cant pinpoint an exact year or even age i was accurately but if like lightbulb memory is serving me decently enough i gotta estimate around preschool–1st grade-ish at the latest, i lived in oregon still with my mom and i didnt move to AZ the first time till around age 10 iirc

[mildlymaddy]

Ask and you shall receive I guess. ;)

Lilo future!fic, in which both are single, Liam’s got two kids, and I end up calling Liam’s first-born “James” because the fucker still hasn’t shared his actual baby’s name with us.

Liam was in over his head. He knew it, and it only served to annoy him further. This was stupid. He was a grown-ass man. He had kids for Christ’s sake!

 There was absolutely no reason for him to angst over the meaning of a bloody text message.

 Especially not one that said, Im not gonna comment until Ive tried it myself.

 Louis had added the sunglasses emoji at the end, which was nice but didn’t help Liam figure out whether he was serious or not.

 And knowing whether Louis was serious or not felt quite bloody important, considering the message Liam had sent him right before had been: Then she said i was lousy in bed, like, can you believe?!

 Liam took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

The thing was, lately, there’d been quite a few of these messages from Louis. Like, Liam didn’t want to jump to conclusions or anything, but ever since Louis had come back to L.A., single and determined to take over the world with Liam (there’d never been any question of whether Liam might have other plans, but then again he’d only been too happy to join in. Endless touring was less appealing at 38 than it had been at 23, and writing for others with Louis had always been part of his dreams), they'd gotten… close.

 And they'd always been close, obviously, even once time and distance had made their friendship more quiet and soft, had turned cuddles and pranks into yearly birthday messages and dinners that had to be planned months in advance, but even in their hay days it had never been… it’d never been like this.

 Or maybe Liam was just too old to remember exactly how flirty Louis used to be. But he'd watched some old 1d interviews, just to see, and while Louis teased him a lot and touched him even more… it just wasn't the same. Liam was sure of it.

 Except, of course, for all the moments when he wasn't.

 He started typing a reply, then deleted it, staring at the blinking cursor on his screen with increasing desperation. It had been 10 minutes since Louis had sent his message and the longer Liam waited, the more awkward his reply would be, no matter what.

 “Daaad, can you stop jiggling your leg? I’m trying to watch my show!”

 Liam looked up from his phone to find his daughter glaring at him from behind her fringe, earbuds plugged firmly in her ears to listen to whatever she was watching on her phone, curled up on the other side of the couch. He wasn’t sure how him jiggling his leg two seats over was disrupting her focus, but clearly it was, and she huffed again before turning her attention back to her show, mumbling something Liam couldn’t make out but which was most probably along the lines of “grown-ups suck.”

 He’d never realized, back when he’d started a family, that that meant dealing with moody teenagers down the line, and not just adorable babies and cute 8-year-old kids. The wake-up call had been brutal (and his mother’s amused look the first time he’d complained to her about the ungratefulness of teens a little uncalled for). The fact that he only had them one month out of two since his divorce didn’t help things any.

 “Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, leaving the living room to go lock himself in the first floor bathroom, phone clutched in one sweaty hand.

 He sat on the edge of the bathtub, legs resuming their nervous jiggling, and felt his heart doing a sickly somersault when he saw the notifications telling him Louis had sent another string of messages. That was it; he’d missed his shot by waiting too long. Louis had moved on to another subject and-

 That was a comeon, in case you cant tell.

I mean unles you CAN tell and yure not interested.

Which wouls explain why you havent written in 15mn i guess i should take the hint

Fuck thiss awkward forget i said anything.

 Liam read the words over and over again, just in case they’d morph into some inane discussion about playing dog sitter for Louis or setting up a writing session, but they remained the same.

 Louis had been hitting on him?

 Louis had been hitting on him.

 ...

 For all that Liam had been convinced something was going on, getting actual confirmation of it felt like taking a deep breath under water.

 “Fuck,” he muttered, desperately trying to keep his breathing under control.

 It wasn't until moving dots popped up on his screen to show Louis was writing yet another message that Liam finally sprung to action, clumsily typing his reply and sending it before he could second-guess himself, typos and all.

 I wqsnt sure yu were skirting

 He blinked at his screen. Fuck. Stupid predictive text. When had he even ever written the word “skirting”?!

 I meant flirtng*

flirting*

Fuck

 Liam groaned. Maybe if he chucked his phone into the toilets he could pretend that those last messages had been a bug.

 He'd always thought this kind of thing would get easier with age (well mostly he'd thought he would get married and live happily ever after...), but if anything, this felt worse than he remembered. How did anyone ever hook up with anyone without keeling over from the stress of it all?!

 The cheerful “blip!” of a new message brought his attention back to the screen.

 Does that mean you dont midn?

 Liam swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was pretty sure he was supposed to feel relief but for some reason all he could feel right now was rising panic. Surely this was a mistake, his brain pointed out. This was all a misunderstanding. He was getting Louis’s meaning completely wrong.

 Still, he made himself write back, I def dont mind. Imall for flirting.

 Dots came and went on Louis's side of the chat for quite a long time after that, leaving Liam ample time to worry about the ways in which he could have misunderstood Louis's messages (admittedly, he couldn't think of one, but that's how it worked, right? That’s the reason people felt so mortified afterwards), until finally Louis's answer popped up on his screen.

 Im gonna be horribly blunt here im sorry but i wanna make sure. So if i drop by your house tonight with two bottles of wine and push you against tye wall and snog you senseless youre ok with that right?

 The relieved laughter that burst out of Liam’s mouth surprised even him, and he let himself slide to the tiled ground, his heartbeat going wild with happiness as he tremblingly typed back, ive got the kids so might be best not to but i woudlnr say no to some snogging on the weekend?

 He pressed Send and rested his chin on his bent knees, staring at his phone like a lovesick teenager, which is exactly how he felt right now. This was ridiculous. It was also the best Liam had felt in months.

 A shriek coming from the ground floor dragged him out of his bubble and he struggled back to his feet, frowning, but the stomping of feet on the stairs and the vengeful “Emma I'll punch your teeth in!!” made him reconsider. Possibly staying in the bathroom was safest for now.

 A door slammed down the corridor, then he heard Emma yelling back, “I'll fucking tell mum, you tosser!” before another door slammed shut, a little closer.

 He really wished she’d stop using the mum card. First because that was unfair for Cheryl, and second because… well, he could be fearsome too, damnit. He wasn’t just the “hot, goofy dad” (as amusing as having Emma’s friends mooning at him was, mostly because his 20-year-old self had forever been preserved online).

 He had to go talk to them both, but a glance at his phone showed him Louis had sent another message.

 I dont know if ill still want to snog you then, payno. 3 days is a long time.

 Liam grinned. Far away from fighting teenagers, something warm was unfurling in his veins, spreading through his body, carrying with it a faint thrilling note, just enough to make his heartbeat a little irregular in the nicest of ways.

 Ill make it worth the wait, he typed back, biting his bottom lip around a smile. His heart was heavy with happiness in his chest and he never wanted the feeling to go away again.

 He’d never considered the possibility of falling for someone he’d known since he was a teenager, but now that he was, he was starting to wonder how it hadn’t happened earlier. How he’d gone without.

 I expect you to, Louis sent back.

 Count on it.

 There was renewed stomping in the corridor, then the noise of a door banging open and a shout. Liam sighed.

 Gotta mke sure the kids dont kill each othr. Talk later?

 He stared at the dots as Louis typed his answer, unwilling to get out into the fray just yet, unwilling to let go of his own slice of teenagehood. He couldn’t make out the words that were being yelled down in James’s room, but they clearly weren’t anything he could tolerate. He really needed to step in.

 Anytime.

…

<3

Oh god pretend i dind’t sent that.

You know what screw it.

<333

Liam beamed down at his phone, sent a heart back (or ten), and stepped out of the bathroom.

[golazano-blog]

a surprisingly real conversation about internalized lesbophobia from two girls who are only passingly familiar with the words ‘lesbophobia’ and ‘internalized’

golazano ines???????

evileyessss Yes?

golazano i know reagans kinda creepy about moire and fighting, but you werent doing that, right?

evileyessss Lol babe I don't know what you mean

golazano i mean like i dont know it's stupid

evileyessss Are you okay?

golazano yeah!!! you know it was just like, kind of weird??? cause i know reagan's all like, into watching people fight and then that new kid talked about ALL of you being into it and it was just kind of weird

evileyessss He doesn't even know me

golazano i mean....you did kinda point out that youre dating me like that made it different

evileyessss Gabe it's nbd

golazano ???????/

evileyessss I don't even know why you're weirded out

golazano i dont know it feels weird for people to watch and be into it???  it's like it's not like that

golazano it's just fun

evileyessss I'm sorry it feels weird?

golazano it's just!!!! it's not like that and people making it like that makes it feel.  not good.  not fun?

evileyessss People watch MMA...

golazano i dont think it's the same thing!!!

evileyessss Why isn't it

golazano i people dont watch it because it's hot and me and moireARENT

evileyessss You and Moire are hot

evileyessss ?

golazano no !!!  it's not!!!! i mean thanks???? but we're not TRYING to be or anything

evileyessss Lmao babe you don't try You do

golazano it makes me feel weird about like doing it i guess it's just fun

evileyessss I'm sorry but you're hot

golazano ines!!!! take me seriously

evileyessss I am being serious! Can't I give you compliments

golazano yeah i know but :( please, ines

evileyessss Gabriela you're lit gorgeous no matter what you're doing

golazano :PPPPPPPPPPPPP i dont now how to explain this!!!!

evileyessss I'm explaining it to you!

golazano im glad you think im hot, of course i am!!!! but messing around with moire is for fun and other people thinking it's hot makes it embarrassing

evileyessss Why does it have to be?

golazano because!!! it isnt sexual!!!! and when other people look at it like that then it IS like that and then it's not fun!!!!!!!!!!!

evileyessss Gabe why are you scared of what other people think If it's fun for you it's fun for you

golazano no its!!!! it's not comfortable okay!!!!

evileyessss Okay fine I'm sorry

golazano no ines!!! i askldfjlsdajlasdkfj i dont know how to explain it im sorry!

evileyessss I don't know what you want me to say? When we're training for track you're hot too it's no different

golazano it feels different

evileyessss But why though!

golazano i dont know!!!!

evileyessss I was the only person there?

golazano well, and misha but YUGH all the other people who wanted to come

evileyessss Forget about them Bad Girls Club is entertaining

golazano and i i dont mind YOU thinking im hot, obviously!!! it's just this specific thing?? it's easy, you know?

evileyessss Babe I don't follow

golazano it's easy to mess around and not worry about idk anything

evileyessss Anything...

golazano yeah????  it's just a game and!!! i know moires super pretty and all but i dont have to think about that

evileyessss It's a game played by pretty girls

golazano it just mkes it feel like im being idk

golazano im doing something wrong

evileyessss Oh. Is that Like When you freeze up

golazano maybe?

evileyessss I do that to ya know

golazano freeze up???

evileyessss Yes!

golazano not as bad as me haha

evileyessss No but it's relatable! I'm as new to this as you are

golazano i know or i guess i know i dont wanna ...bring that kind of freezing up into normal stuff with moire

evileyessss You don't need to?

golazano other people bring it for us :(

evileyessss You control it Not them

golazano no that's not true!! if other people say it, then i have to think it, and then i feel bad and guilty because i ruined this thing for us both

evileyessss Gabriela you're not gross. You shouldn't feel guilty or bad

golazano it's creepy!! if other people say we look hot then it REMINDS me that moire IS hot and then I'M the one who's being a bad friend!!!

evileyessss Gabriela you sound like you're talking about me when you were crushing but didn't tell me

golazano it's not as bad as that DUH

evileyessss That made me smile

golazano :ppppp you get it though right?

evileyessss Yeah I do I still think it's weird to blame yourself for someone else

golazano well yknow if i wasnt me then it'd still be creepy and annnoying i guess, but at least it wouldnt be me

evileyessss Fine whatever lol

golazano ines :( you know i wouldnt mind if it was just you well still sort of i would

evileyessss You are saying you are so I'm sorry!

golazano it's not your fault either!!!!

evileyessss It is though

golazano no!!! it's mine for having weird hang ups and also reagans for being really creepy

evileyessss Reagan is Reagan and we all know that by now

golazano sadly

evileyessss It's not like Damian

golazano YIKES better not be lmao btu i mean

golazano i like that you think im hot i do

golazano it's like...carrying that over into something that's....not...and that i don't want to be all messed up just because my brain  can't separate things

evileyessss I won't say it again okay

golazano :(  im sorry

evileyessss It's whatever

golazano and it's.....really, really nothing like with you ines

evileyessss Should I be feeling gross now because I do

golazano n o no !!! no!!!!!!!!!!!

golazano youre not gross!!! it's not your fault!!!!  the way you see it shouldnt mess with the way i see it but it does so it's on me!!! and everyone else acting like it was....a big show for them made it feel really bad

evileyessss Okay but I was a part of that

golazano please just dont make it a show?

evileyessss Okay! I'm sorry

golazano ines youre my best friend

evileyessss I knooow that

golazano and theres no one else in the whole world i wanna go on dates with or kiss more than you

evileyessss I'm so lucky

golazano :( dont be sarcsatic i mean i dont think youre gross

evileyessss I'm not! I mean it! You treat me the way you do and Aphrodite smiles or some shit

golazano :)

evileyessss Which isn't sarcastic!

golazano <333 i couldnt ever think youre gross

evileyessss <3<3<3<3 I try not to be..

golazano you ARENT!!! except sometimes when your hair oil spills thats pretty gross because theyn the whole floor is slippery BUT thats not related

evileyessss Okay but then we all smell good

golazano but we're slimy!!! like good smelling slugs

evileyessss It's just slippery

golazano like slugs

evileyessss No!

golazano are slugs not slimy and slippery?????

evileyessss That's not what I was going for

golazano hehehe i know im teasing you!!!

evileyessss Gabe! );

golazano you know i like how it smells doof!!

evileyessss How do I know you could be teasing me!

golazano i was teasing you about the SLUG not about liking how it smells!!!

evileyessss I'm teasing you (:

golazano it's been a really long day :( do you wanna come over here?  idk if ai and hollis are asleep but

[mastrrt]

This is golden, and I never noticed some of these stuff until you pointed it out. And there's one more problem with kfp3. The special thing about kfp 1 is that po is just an ordinary guy who made himself greater by believing in what he had. He had no special kinship, he had no secret powers. Po wasn't inheritantly destined to become the dragon warrior, or made to become the dragon warrior (like tai lung); he had to build his moral, ethics, and dreams to get the title. It's unorthodox and that's why so many people loved it. But slowly in kfp2 and definitely in kfp3, it is established that all along Po was the chosen one, and was always destined to be the Dragon Warrior, and the explanation to that all revolves in the fact that he's a panda and therefore is special by default. Kfp2 is fine with this, but kfp3 can't be excused. They have turned Po, amazingly, into the opposite of character he was before. Sure, he's still humorous, a bit stupid, cheesy, lovable and maybe a bit cocky, but the basis of why he became a hero is ultimately undermined. Everyone in kfp3 keeps on saying that Po has powerful chi. Why does he have powerful chi? Is it just because he's a panda? What makes him so special in chi in the first place? When oogway said that he is both sides of the yin and yang, why is Po both sides of the ying and yang and what did he even do to achieve it? Is it solely because of his monochromatic pigmentation? ---because dreamworks is not explaining anything! Kfp1 is deep with philosophy, and the potrayal of these philosophies transpire very deep and hidden behind the entire plot. But kfp3 is just like oh yeah, we'll just throw chinese ideals on what makes a good and powerful person and throw it in Po ---you audiences jusy gotta ride along. Now, Po is really strong at the chi chi because pandas are really care-free and believe on themselves so much they get power for free free. Po is chosen as the dragon warrior becuse he's a panda and (due to past experiences) Oogway sees the future and the past of kung fu in him ---because, panda. And then Po suddenly becomes the equilibrium of yin and yang (which means he's morally flawless already). Why? I have no idea, but lets just mke the audience assume that it's because Po is a panda. They no longer incorporate why Po's so special, they don't even try bothering to subliminally explain why he gets to be all these feats all so easily, unless that message is so subliminal. They could have used his great character as a chance to justify why he is such a 'balanced' person (to the point where he becomes both sides of the yin and yang), or why he has such strong chi, instead of relying on the fact that he's a panda and generally he's species are the best in all the spiritual stuff.

I find the yin and yang thing so dumb. How is he both sides of the yin and yang? How? If you've seen my theory about the mirror of yin and yang, then for oogway to say that Po is both sides of the yin and yang means that he has rid himself with absolutely all the evil in him.

And that part where the pandas and tigress had to summon their chi to save po, like what the heck? They're asking themselves "Who am I?" One of the most existential and personal questions you could as youself.

And then Tigress answers, "A friend."

A friend?

A FRIEND?

Bitch who are you? Everyone is a friend of someone else. Being a friend doesn't define you. Is that how centered Po is in the universe, that being a friend of him is enough to give you an identity in the universe. Are you serious?

"Who are you inside? Deep deep down? What defines you? Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Po's friend."

"Yes yes, you are a friend. But you are looking through Po's eyes. No. Who are you. You must be personal and intimate with yourself to unlock your chi. Look within you, not your place in someone else's."

...

...

"Im a friend."

No duh. Non chuck chic? Yeah okay. I'm a nun-chuck chic at heart, and saying this and knowing this will obviously gain me some super powers supplied by my ever strengthening spirit.

________

I honestly wouldn’t change anything about kfp1 or 2. Those are great films just as they are. But I would change kfp3 alot.

First, have Tigress be an essential character like she was in 1 and 2. Have her actually jump in to fight Kai rather than standing on the sidelines literally doing nothing. Also, give the rest of the five something to do. Turning them into jombies was a good way to raise the stakes but it would have been better if Po and Tigress found a way to free them earlier.

Like, imagine Kai sent the jombie-five to the panda village first so they could bring Po to him. Po and Tigress are forced to fight their friends and it’s definitely difficult for them to do so. Po especially gets beat up as he refuses to fight them. Then Li-Shan, being the over protective dad he is, tries jumping in to save his son. And in that moment of love unlocks his inner chi momentarily, turning one of the jombie-five back to normal.

This prompts Po and Tigress to try and figure out this chi stuff and makes the pandas realize they do have this long forgotten gift they must discover. Eventually, they free the rest of the five.

Now realizing he must do this himself, Kai goes to the panda village. Po, Tigress AND the rest of the five WORK TOGETHER to come up with a plan and help train the pandas who wish to help.

Then when Kai shows up with his jombie horde, he must now face the wrath of not only the dragon warrior and the pandas BUT ALSO The Furious Five: all fighting together against him.

I don’t know, just a thought.

Also for POD, as I’ve mentioned before, just change the focus away from random panda kids and have it be about Po and the Five going on an adventure all over China (or even other places) to find the four mortals who possess the power of the constellations, train them and have the story build towards a final showdown with the villain or villains in a war-type scenario reminiscent of the dream Po had in the beginning of kfp1 (and bring everything full circle).

****

Also, I don’t think DreamWorks is going to make a new kfp trilogy anytime soon. Their focus seems to be elsewhere. And with them having recently been bought by Illumination, I fear even if we do eventually get new kfp films, they will never have the same genuine effort and heart put into them. Instead, the story will be about Po’s great great grandson (who of course looks like a panda Onceler and will be voiced by Will Ferrel or some shit) playing a guitar and making pop culture references and have his version of The Minions be little kung fu gerbils that babble in incoherent speech who attack enemies by farting on them. Also the theme song will be performed by Post Malone or whatever “musician” is currently popular this month. Because Illumination.

Thanks for the ask @mastrrt