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andybondurant · 2 years

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New Post has been published on Andy Bondurant

New Post has been published on https://andybondurant.com/2022/05/27/before-you-quit-rest-to-be-restored/

Before you Quit: Rest to be Restored

You Need Rest

Last week, I introduced a new, short series of posts on how to regain your footing when you are faced with these thoughts, ”I’ve had enough. I’m ready to quit!” We’re using the story of Elijah, who utters those words to God, immediately following his most triumphant victory as a prophet.

Elijah made it back to health through embracing three mentalities:

Rest to Restore

Receive God’s Word

Respond in Faith

You need a Word from God. So how do you put yourself in a place to find it? It begins with rest – not just slowing down, but resting to be restored.

Faith is not Logical.

Elijah had just faced down his enemies, and it seems logical that if God acted once he would move again to save Elijah from this new enemy. Logic tells Elijah he would be safe, but his emotions were drained from the confrontation with the prophets of Baal. But faith is not logical.

Elijah says, “I am no better than my ancestors who have already died,” then immediately he lays down in the shade of a tree. Reading within the context of the passage, Elijah doesn’t lay down to rest, but to die.

Elijah doesn’t just want to quit, he wants to die.

Faith + Burnout

Research tells us the average American worker is on their way or have already arrived at burnout. The World Health Organization gives three symptoms of burnout:

feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion

increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings negative towards one’s career

reduced professional productivity

Can you relate to any of these symptoms? Again, the stats tell me you are fighting burnout. Here are a few that jumped off the screen at me:

75% of workers have experienced burnout, with 40% saying they’ve experienced burnout specifically during the pandemic. (FlexJobs)

67% of all workers believe burnout has worsened over the course of the pandemic. (Indeed)

61% of remote workers and 53% of on-site workers now find it more difficult to “unplug” from work during off-hours. (Indeed)

Prior to the pandemic, just 5% of employed workers and 7% of unemployed workers said their mental health was poor or very poor. Now, 18% of employed and 27% of unemployed workers say they are struggling with mental health issues. (FlexJobs)

More than three-quarters (76%) of respondents agree that workplace stress affects their mental health. (FlexJobs)

Only 60% of workers can strongly agree that they know what is expected of them at work. (Gallup)

Workplace stress is estimated to cost the U.S. economy more than $500 billion dollars, and each year, 550 million workdays are lost due to stress on the job. (APA)

Burnout was a problem pre-pandemic, and it has only worsened in the last two years. Elijah was burned out, and we can relate to where he was.

Rest to be Restored

Faith runs much deeper than our logic. God knows this better than we do, so rather than scold Elijah, God gives space to restore Elijah physically, emotionally and spiritually. God allows Elijah to sleep and then wakes him a few times to eat. This is what God speaks to Elijah the second time he feeds him,

“Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.” -1 Kings‬ ‭19:7‬ ‭NLT‬

Rest isn’t just a solid 7-8 hours of sleep. In fact if you are showing signs of intense stress or burnout, a good night‘s rest probably will do nothing for you. Research shows there are seven different types of rest needed to be restored.

Physical.

Mental.

Emotional.

Sensory.

Creative

Social

Spiritual.

How to Find Spiritual Rest

You can read more about how to rest in each of those seven categories (much of it will be obvious). Rest looks like eating healthy and exercising (physical) and surrounding yourself with positive people (social). But let me dive a little deeper on what spiritual rest looks like for a follower of Jesus.

There are various ways we can rest spiritually, but two vital forms of rest are grace and identity.

1. Be Spiritually Restored Through Grace

In it’s most simple definition, grace is “unmerited favor.” As fallen human beings who naturally keep score of the rights and wrongs done against us, this concept of grace is very difficult to understand. We expect to earn God’s favor.

It is impossible to earn God’s grace. It is a gift given to anyone who will accept it. God’s nature is to extend grace. In the Old Testament this was known as “loving kindness”. In the New Testament it is grace.

Spiritual rest is found by sinking into God’s grace. This begins by bowing our knee to Jesus. However, it’s imperative we understand his love for me and you is not attached to the things we do or say.

“Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” -Romans 3:24 NLT

This grace isn’t just available to you at the point of salvation or for the forgiveness of subsequent sin. God’s favor is available to me when I’m at the end of my rope, I’m stressed out, or I’m burned out.

“And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” -2 Corinthians 9:8 NKJV

Human Doings or Human Beings

So stop striving! One of my college professors often made this statement, ”You are not ’human doings’. You are ’human beings’.” There is nothing more you can DO in order to earn God’s favor. He requests we simply BE with him. Being with Jesus means daily walking with him. Your walk may be with a significant limp, or it could be at a snails pace, but it is still a walk. Spiritual rest means being with Jesus.

Remember, the purpose of rest is to be restored. Restoration was God’s goal for Elijah. Spiritual restoration is God’s goal for you. You cannot earn God’s favor. Allow God’s grace to extend to you in every area and situation of your life. Do it now.

Right now, receive grace. It’s simple. Ask for God to give his grace to you. And receive it.

But spiritual restoration goes beyond simply sitting in God’s grace. We must also identify with the God who created us.

2. Be Spiritually Restored Though Your Identity

In the midst of stress and burn out, it’s easy to forget who we are. Our spiritual gaze drops, so we identify more with the fallen and broken world surrounding us than with the One who created us. How we view ourselves, our identity, can easily become a mix of both a Christ worldview and that of our culture. To be restored spiritually, we need to remind ourselves of the truth. Often we can’t see the truth with our natural eyes.

Here are two things that are true about you:

1. You are God’s child.

Read the following scripture closely:

“But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.” -‭‭Galatians‬ ‭4:4-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Several years ago, I read the book, ”12 Years a Slave” documenting the story of a free black man, living in the North, captured into slavery in the 1800’s. As the title indicates, it was 12 years of suffering backbreaking work with no recourse. The man, Solomon Northup, does eventually escape to freedom, but his freedom restored, Solomon saw the world he lived in differently. As a black man in the United States, even in the free North, he was less-than. Solomon’s freedom was tenuous. He might have been a citizen of the United States, but he was a second class citizen at best.

You were a slave to your old human nature. Your freedom was purchased by Jesus. Now free, you aren’t alone, but you have been adopted by God. This good news only gets better, because your freedom isn’t tenuous. You aren’t a second class citizen, pushed to the back of the line, hoping for the best. Our past doesn’t matter. Our sin is wiped out. Your race, ethnicity and gender are now all secondary to your TRUE identity. You are an heir to all the riches of God!

Receive spiritual restoration by asking God for it. All he has is yours, and he loves to give good things to his children (Matthew 7:11).

2. You are an exquisite masterpiece.

It’s easy to believe God’s grace purchased our freedom. But when we are burned out, our thinking becomes skewed (our faith is not logical; it has not been restored). We believe: “God has to set me free, but his goodness ends there. He loves me because God has to love me.” How wrong you are!

This is how one 20th century Christian thinker put it:

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” -Brennan Manning

When Jesus saves us, it restores us to perfection — the way God designed us to be from the beginning. That is reality. Everything else is smoke and mirrors. It is as if God is a master painter, and we are the canvas on which he has created his piece de resistance!

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” -Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This is one of my favorite New Testament scriptures. Before you were born, God had you in mind to do amazing, unbelievable things. Because of these amazing things in store for you, he made you exactly and perfectly the way you are.

Because of this, you are a masterpiece!

Spiritual rest restores your self-image.

We need a strong sense of identity because what comes next won’t be easy. There is a journey ahead. It is imperative we know who we are for that journey.

Rest allowed Elijah to begin to regain this sense of his true self. It isn’t fully developed (as we’ll see), but the work has begun. You need rest in order to be restored to this sense of who your true self is – a beloved, child of God.

Today, sink into the GRACE of God, so you can see your TRUE IDENTITY as a child of God. Rest, so you can be restored. Once you are on the road to restoration, you are ready to receive God’s Word. The real fun is about to begin!

#1 Kings #2 Corinthians #Elijah #Ephesians #faith #Galatians #Jesus #Matthew #Romans

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paulhaarman · 2 years

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Common Causes behind Start-Up Failure

Now more than ever, youngsters are choosing to abandon the long-going tradition of 8-hour workdays and are opting to work for themselves. Indeed, starting your own venture has a charm of its own. From exercising complete creative control, enjoying flexible work hours and increased authority, the benefits of being your own boss are endless. While an innovative proposal may get you started on your entrepreneurial journey, it takes much more than just an idea to keep you going. Paul Haarman said, lack of funding and investment, poor business strategy, and improper allocation of material or financial resources are all examples of reasons why newly launched brands fail. A few reasons why start-ups usually run out of steam are mentioned below:

Lack of Market Demand:

The success of a start-up depends directly on the market need for the product or service that your company is providing. No market means no customers leading to no cash. Satisfying an existing demand is much easier than creating one. Thus, the secret to growth lies in doing a thorough prior investigation of the market you’re setting foot into. Assess the various products competitor brands are selling, their attributes, and recognize the unmet needs in the market. Based on the fact of Paul Haarman’s evaluation, develop a product or a service that bridges this gap and provides a solution to the problems of your target audience. Nearly 42% of small businesses eventually file for bankruptcy due to a severe lack of market demand.

Insufficient Financial Resources:

Lack of capital resources is the second most common reason why start-ups fail. More often than you think, business owners underestimate the amount of cash needed to keep operations running. Funding the payroll, vendor payments, equipment, maintenance, rent, electricity, and other utilities add up to a significant amount. Financial trouble can also be caused when business owners miss the mark on pricing products adequately. Sometimes in an attempt to boost sales and attract customers, entrepreneurs price their products much lower than their competition. While this tactic encourages sales, it doesn’t generate enough revenue to keep the company afloat. The key is never to let the cash out-flow of your business exceed the cash in-flow.

Inadequate Business Plan:

No organization can thrive without purpose, direction, and control. A solid business plan is like a foolproof guideline that directs the company and its employees toward the ultimate goal. A business plan is vital for many reasons:

The plan thoroughly explains objectives and targets while distributing responsibilities amongst the workforce to ensure efficient and timely delivery of tasks. Without it, the team is left wondering what they have to do and why.

The plan sets realistic deadlines to accomplish desired targets. Unachievable deadlines can place urgency on delivering results and cause workers to compromise on the quality of the results.

The plan imposes a strict budget and monitors cash flow. Inability to adhere to the set financial targets and making decisions on the fly is another reason why start-ups fail.

Poor Marketing:

Marketing is perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of a start-up. As a newly launched business, you have to compete with a myriad well-established brands and force your way up to the top. Companies often undermine the importance of marketing during the initial launch stages. Physical and digital marketing are critical to reaching out to your target audience and spreading the word about your brand. Only if consumers know what you have to offer and how it is different from the options already available in the market will they invest in your product.

Paul Haarman observed many business owners often miscalculate a company’s marketing needs in terms of capital required, prospect reach, and accurate conversion-ratio projections. To compensate for the lack of funds, the company then has to redirect cash from other departments, which causes them to stray from their budget and strains their financial goals.

Conclusion:

Nearly 20% of all start-ups fail within their initial stages. While this percentage can be quite intimidating, know that this doesn’t necessarily have to be true in your case. With thorough research, detailed planning, practical strategies, and wise decision-making, launching a start-up can be made a lot more seamless.

Originally Posted: https://paulhaarman.net/4-common-causes-behind-start-up-failure/

#business #Businessplan #plan #marketing

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queen-haq · 3 years

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Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

gif credit: @bilyrusso

Part 13

It was 8 in the evening and you were still in the office. You hadn’t accomplished much work today, your mind mostly focused on Billy. You were surprised by how quickly he’d been able to make the funeral arrangements for his mother. Yesterday you had driven over to the nursing home and by the time you reached there, Carla Russo’s body had already been picked up. You’d signed a few papers for Billy and picked up the remainder of Carla’s things before you returned home. Everything of hers was packed into a small suitcase and sitting in your living room. You wanted to call him, ask him how he was and offer your support, but he seemed determined to do everything on his own when you’d talked to him last and you didn’t want to intrude.

You gave yourself a mental shake, reminding yourself to concentrate. This workday had been a wash. When you weren’t distracted by thoughts of Billy, you were putting out fires in your team. At least the personnel conflicts have been temporarily resolved, but now you needed to work on a slide deck that you’d been tasked with presenting to the executive leadership committee later in the week.

An hour later you were halfway done with your presentation when your phone rang. You glanced down at your screen to find Billy’s name on the screen. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He sounded exhausted. “You still at work?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

There was a pause. “You give off the workaholic vibe.”

You smiled to yourself; at least he was okay enough to crack jokes. “How are you?”

“You mean am I grieving over a goddamn dead woman who preferred meth to her own fucking son?” He sighed. “No big loss. I’m fine.”

Anger and hurt saturated his voice despite his attempts to sound unaffected. Your heart hurt for him, you wished there was something you could do. “Do you need anything?”

“The funeral service is tomorrow.” A beat of silence followed. “Do you want to come?”

“Sure. What time?”

“2pm.”

“I’ll take the day off. Do you need my help with anything? Maybe I can call some of her friends?”

“When I found her she was living on the streets, barely alive but still hooked on meth. I doubt she’s got any friends.”

“What about the people in the nursing home? Maybe they want to come?”

“No, I don’t want anyone else there. Just you.”

Not liking the warmth that spread through you upon hearing his words, you reminded yourself he was probably feeling unusually vulnerable. This wasn’t typical of him.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked.

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “I would but I have so much work to do. I’ll be here for another hour at least.”

“Come over after you’re done.”

“It’ll be really late.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.”

“I can stop by my place to pick up your mom’s-.”

“No, it’s okay.”

You realized he wasn’t quite ready to go through Carla’s belongings yet.

“Bring your stuff with you.”

“Stuff?”

“Overnight bag, clothes for tomorrow, whatever.”

“Oh. You want me to stay over?”

“Yeah, might as well. We can drive over together for the service tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Despite the conversation coming to a natural end, he wasn’t hanging up. It seemed as if he was reluctant to be alone, probably because that meant dealing with the complicated emotions for his mother. You knew exactly how that felt. “If you want, I can leave now. I can work from your apartment instead of the office.”

“You’re not worried I’ll be tempted to spy on Valiant stuff?” he teased.

You smiled. “As if I’d let you see what I’m working on.”

“Guess no corporate espionage for me tonight.”

“Still going to keep you away from my laptop.”

He chuckled. “Just get here. I promise not to bug you while you work.”

“Okay. I’m leaving now.”

“See you soon.”

After you hung up, you started gathering your things together.

***

An hour later, you were at his place. When he opened the door, you immediately grew concerned at how tired he looked. Traveling back and forth from Vegas plus dealing with the news about Carla’s death within the last few hours meant he was absolutely exhausted.

“Hey,” he greeted you, smiling as he took the overnight bag from your hands.

You removed your heels while he took your bag inside his room and then made your way to his living room. While his penthouse suite was much bigger than yours, you actually didn’t like it very much. Despite the high-end finishes and the beautiful interiors - Billy had obviously hired a designer to make the place look good - it always felt very cool and inhospitable to you. It was too perfect and you always felt out of place inside the suite.

“You hungry?” he asked, coming up behind you. “I ordered dinner for you.” Arms encircling your waist, he dropped a kiss on the back of your head as he maneuvered you to the kitchen. He’d laid out the food for you on the dining table, and from the take-out containers you knew it was from one of your favourite Indian restaurants. The thoughtful gesture surprised you, you weren’t used to that from him. Noting that he’d only set the table for one, you turned around to look at him. “You’re not going to eat with me?”

“I ate already. I was starving. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” You cradled his face with one hand, your eyes roving over his beautiful face as he placed a kiss on the fleshy part of your palm. “You look exhausted. Did you even sleep?”

“No” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, weary. For a moment he closed his eyes, simply holding still, and you found yourself wrapping your arms around him in a hug. You didn’t understand why you’d even initiated the embrace – hugs were never your thing – but seeing him so beaten-down you were desperate to comfort him. He leaned into you, his body flushed against yours, and you held him tight. Stroking the nape of his neck, you placed a soft kiss on the center of his forehead. “Why don’t you take a nap while I work?”

“You don’t mind?”

You smiled up at him, running your fingers through his hair. “At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my company secrets while you sleep.”

He smirked. “You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yup. Probably still working away.”

Billy grazed your temple softly before dropping a tender kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay, but eat first.”

You nodded your head, watching after him as he sauntered out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hallway.

Sighing, you went to the sink to wash your hands before eating.

***

It was after midnight and you were still working on your slide deck when you heard Billy puttering around in the bathroom. Soon he slowly made his way towards you, dressed in a t-shirt and black boxers, his hair all messy. He yawned lazily, falling onto the other end of the couch.

“I thought you’d sleep through the night,” you remarked.

“Are you still working?” he asked.

“Almost done.” You saved the file and shut off the laptop before slipping it back inside your bag.

Suddenly he pulled you closer and you found yourself tucked underneath him on the couch as he glanced down at you from above. “You work too hard.”

You smiled up at him. “They don’t pay me the big bucks to sit there and look pretty.”

A slow, incandescent smile curved his lips. “I would. If I ran Valiant, you’d be my personal stress relief. You’d be in my office the entire time and do nothing but look pretty and service me.”

“That’s sexual harassment.”

Billy shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. I’d make it worth your while.”

You laughed, angling up to kiss him. “Your breath is all minty fresh.”

“I brushed my teeth for you.”

“Wow. Be still my heart.”

A warm grin covered his face as he shifted down your body to nuzzle your neck. His weight was heavy as he rested atop you, but you liked the solid feel of him on you, the way you felt all safe and warm. You stroked his hair while he drew lazy circles on your chest, the silence between you two comforting.

“No one knows about her. Not Frank, not Curtis, no one.”

Those names were familiar to you because Billy had mentioned them in passing a few times. Of course he’d never shared any other info, but you being you, you’d dug around and found out more about them. You knew they’d served with Billy and he considered them his closest friends.

“When I found her three years ago, I put her in that home and forgot all about her.”

“You visited her every week,” you reminded him.

“Because I wanted her to regret abandoning me. I wanted her to see how far I’d come, I wanted to throw her mistakes in her face. But I don’t think she regretted safe-havening me, not even a bit.”

The bitter pain in his voice made your heart hurt for him.

“Maybe I should be happy she’s finally dead, or maybe I’m supposed to be sad or something.”

“How do you actually feel?”

“Nothing. I feel nothing.”

“Billy, I think that’s normal. There’s no right or wrong in this. All of your feelings are valid.”

“Even if her dying made me absolutely ecstatic? You wouldn’t think I was a fucking psychopath?”

“You are a psychopath but not because you have conflicting emotions about your terrible mother dying. You have the right to feel how you feel about her, whatever that might be.”

Eyes blazing with emotion, he hovered about you to meet your gaze. “Then what makes me a psychopath?”

You quirked your eyebrow. “The fact you want to torture my dates.”

“Not just torture, I want to kill them.” Eyes darkened, voice velvety-smooth, he covered your mouth with his and ravaged you with a kiss that left you thrumming and breathless.

“Only you’re allowed to touch me?” you asked through labored breaths.

“Yes.” His voice was a lustful rasp, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he sucked on the oh-so-sensitive corner of where your neck and shoulder intersected. Sparks of electricity ran down your spine. “Only me.”

You took his hand and guided it down your body, parting your thighs for him.

Like always, you were soon completely lost in the erotic pleasure of his mouth on you. Your legs hooked over his shoulders, your hands grabbed the back of the couch for support as he fucked you with his hands and mouth, sucking you, licking you, his tongue flicking over your clit until you were keening under him. Body arching off the couch, you moaned his name louder and louder until he drove you completely over the edge.

Then you felt a light slap on your cunt which immediately brought you back to reality. Opening your eyes, you found Billy perched between your legs, gracing you with the most wicked smile. “That’s one.” He slapped your pussy again, this time his long, lean fingers ever so slightly grazing your clit and your hips bucked, wanting more. “As promised.” His eyebrow quirked up. “Punishment.”

“Not fair,” you protested. “I’ll date who I want.”

He slapped you again, a little harder this time, but then he leaned down to place comforting kisses on the very spots he assaulted and you moaned with pleasure.

“All of you.” His tongue lapped over your clit, eyes locked with yours. “Belongs to me. I own you.”

“You don’t!” You squealed when he flipped you over unexpectedly, grabbing you by the hips so your ass was lifted of the couch. And then he squeezed your butt cheeks, biting them lightly before he started rimming you.

***

After sharing a shower the two of you were laying in his bed, your back pressed against his chest as you both stared up at the ceiling. His one hand was intertwined with yours, the other arm circled around your hips. The two of you didn’t have sex but you didn’t mind. You were both fatigued.

“I smell like you now,” you murmured, realizing the soap in his shower had left its scent on you.

“I know. I like it.” He squeezed your fingers. “I have a present for you.”

“I hope it’s not earrings again.”

He chuckled. “No, not earrings.”

“What is it then?”

“Jewelry.”

You turned back to look at him. “What? Like a necklace?”

“Something like that. Except I’m the only one who’ll see you wearing it.”

“Ah. And where is this gift?”

He kissed the top of your head. “Not here yet.”

You smiled to yourself. “People usually wait until they have the gift in hand before telling others about it.”

“I couldn’t wait. I’m excited to see you wear it.”

He stroked your hair, and your eyes grew heavy. Soon you started falling into deep slumber, feeling calm, comforted by Billy’s arms around you.

“What happened with your family?”

Your eyes flew open. Like always, any mention of your family unfurled anxiety within you. You didn’t like thinking about them letting alone discussing them. “They passed away.”

“They’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them?”

“Yes.”

He pulled you up so you were facing him now, his intoxicating gaze completely focused on you. “That day when I asked you about the pictures, you said you weren’t close to your family.”

“I meant my extended family. I don’t keep in touch with them,” you replied smoothly.

“What were your parents like?”

Irritation surged through you at his obtrusive questions but you had to remind yourself he just lost his mother. He was feeling out-of-sorts, working through his grief – even if he didn’t think so – and he was reaching out to the only person in his life that knew about his mother. “Normal.”

He simply stared at you for a long time, studying you, saying nothing. “Normal,” he repeated, finally breaking the strained silence.

You shrugged your shoulders, dropping your gaze to the base of his throat so you didn’t have to hold his piercing stare. “Yup.”

“How did they die?”

“Car accident.”

“You miss them?”

“Of course,” you lied.

He reached out to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. “So you grew up with great parents, white picket fence and all that bullshit? Sounds like you had a fairytale childhood.”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

“Sure. I’ll add this to the list of all the other shit we’ll talk about someday.”

He sounded almost angry with you and you weren’t sure why. Before you could question him, however, he pulled you close so you were snuggled against his chest and the warmth of his body was enough to silence your brain and lull you to sleep.

***

It was a cold, crisp autumn day in New York. The outdoor service, attended by only you and Billy, was short and quick. Throughout it, he’d gripped your hand even though he’d been outwardly calm and collected. Even now as he stood a few feet away from you, impeccably dressed in a black suit, his dark eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses as he stared out at the pond, you sensed he was a complete mess inside. You didn’t know what to say to him so you simply sat on the bench, both of you in an isolated corner of the garden. Eventually he came to sit beside you, taking your hand in his.

“I’d have given her the whole world.” His voice was filled with pain and longing as he removed his sunglasses and tucked them in the upper pocket of his suit. “I would have given her anything she ever wanted.” Billy’s eyes met yours. “If she’d just wanted me.”

You scooted closer to wrap your arms around him, breathing him in as he sunk into you. His hands caressed your back, his grip on you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe. After a while he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes holding you prisoner in front of him.

“Swear to me you’ll never leave.”

“Billy-”

“Promise me!”

“I can’t.”

“It wasn’t a fucking request, Y/N.”

You tried to pull away from him but he fisted the back of your hair, holding you in place.

The raw urgency in his voice played havoc with your emotions. If you closed your eyes, just for a moment, you could shut out all the doubts in your head and simply believe him - but you could only live the fantasy for a short moment before reality forced its way back in. “You don’t mean those words, Billy.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you don’t feel that strongly about me.”

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you with hostility. “You’re gonna tell me how I feel?”

“I’m not what you want.”

“And what do you think I want?”

You gave him a sad smile. “The best of everything. Best car, best clothes, the most beautiful women in your arms. You want all that because you need others to want what you have.”

“Is that so wrong?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing wrong with that – except I don’t fit into any of those categories. You want a woman like Dinah Madani. I’m not her. So eventually this thing between us will end.”

His jaw was set in a grim line, eyes burning bright with rage. “So you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Don’t get mad. You know it’s the truth.”

He yanked you closer, crushing you against him. “It’s been me against the world for as long as I can remember. But when I look at you.” His eyes softened, mouth parting as his dark gaze roamed over your face. “I don’t feel alone anymore.”

Your heart melted. The tenuous handle you had on your self-control disintegrated completely. You closed your mouth over his, kissing him frantically as he picked you up and straddled you across his lap.

He pulled back to look at you. “You’re my home. You’re all I need.”

Part 14

A/N - As always, all of your feedback, comments, asks, likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated. They truly inspire me to keep writing, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list, please let me know.

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#billy russo x reader #billy russo #ben barnes #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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fruitcoops · 3 years

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hey! idk if you've seen that cut video about how couples sleep together but i just cant stop thinking about the team doing it. It would be SO cute with your amazing writing :))

Thank you! I absolutely adore this video and I’ve watched it probably twenty times--each couple is just so cute! Quick disclaimer: while this may seem a little odd, since the Lions are basically celebrities, I think the channel wanted to do it to show the diversity of the team and emphasize love above everything else. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey, Lions!” Marlene says cheerfully, waving to the camera. She stands alone in the studio for once. “We have something a little different for you today. Four of the couples on the team agreed to let us record them sleeping for a night, which we’ve combined with short interviews from each of them. Hope you enjoy!”

The video cuts and a title card appears, reading Couple Number One: James and Lily Potter.

Their bedroom is moderately sized, with a crib at the foot of the bed and a fluffy red comforter that accents their walls. James is partially visible as he brushes his teeth, but Lily is fully in frame in her oversized t-shirt and flannel pajama pants while she climbs into bed with Harry in her arms.

“How long have you been together?” Marlene asks in a voiceover.

“We’ve been married for just over six months,” James’ voice says; on the screen, he walks out of the bathroom and tucks his legs up to kiss the tops of Lily and Harry’s heads. “But we dated for several years before that.”

“What time do you normally go to bed?”

“Maybe eight? Eight-thirty?” Lily says. Sure enough, the clock on their nightstand reads 8:07. “We stay up after the baby’s gone to sleep, though.”

“What story are we doing tonight, kiddo?” James asks, pressing a raspberry kiss to Harry’s belly until baby giggles fill the bedroom. “How about…Make Way For Ducklings?”

“Ducky!” Harry squeals, reaching for his glasses.

“Alright, baby love.” Lily smiles as she takes a book of the nightstand and opens it up.

“Would you say you sleep well?” Marlene asks.

“Oh, that’s a tough question,” James says—in the bedroom, he and Lily take turns reading pages to Harry as he sits between them and points to the ducks. “It’s better now that he can sleep through the night. I’d say we get a solid seven hours each night, maybe more.”

“I wake up pretty often because I worry,” Lily adds.

“Do either of you talk in your sleep?”

She laughs. “No, thankfully. Once we’re out, we’re out until morning.”

“What’s your body language like?”

“I’m cuddly,” James says with a light laugh. In the video, he wraps an arm around Lily’s shoulders and traces the picture book with one finger, kissing Harry’s chubby baby hand. “She likes to starfish.”

“We’re both big cuddlers,” Lily agrees. The video skips forward in time, showing Lily lowering Harry into his crib while James grabs his phone off the nightstand and squints at it.

They curl up together while the clock continues to tick, and an hour or so later they put their phones away and snuggle under the covers. The night goes on and, slowly, Lily begins to splay out on the mattress, her hair in every direction as James keeps one arm securely around her waist. During a brief pause, their snoring harmonizes.

Harry wakes up just past four with a sniffle and babbles for a moment until James stands up, taking him out of his crib and humming softly as he bounces him; Lily barely flinches. “Baba,” Harry mumbles while he holds on to the edge of James’ shirt. “Baba, baba, baba.”

“Shh, buddy.” James touches their forehead together before setting him back down in the crib. “Sweet dreams. I love you.”

Marlene’s voiceover comes on again as the sun rises outside their window. “What time do you usually wake up?”

“James gets up earlier than I do for practice,” Lily says. A soft alarm jingles on the nightstand and James clumsily turns it off, scrubbing at his eyes for a second before digging his glasses out of the nightstand and sitting up—he leans over to kiss Lily’s forehead before getting up for real.

“Around seven, seven-thirty usually,” James confirms. “I don’t actually know what time you get up most weekdays.”

“Oh, probably eight-thirty or nine? Once Harry’s up, I’m up.”

Marlene hums. “How important is your bedroom to you? What about your bed?”

“Both are so important.” James doesn’t hesitate. “Evenings and nights are the longest period of time we spend together because of my job.”

“It’s a very safe space,” Lily says. “Life is so hectic, but once we’re in bed we don’t have to go anywhere else.”

The bedroom disappears—Lily and James sit in chairs in the Lion Pride studio with Marlene across from them. “Thanks so much for joining us today, you guys!” she says with a smile. “I’m really looking forward to filming this video.”

Couple Number Two: Kasey Winter and Natalie Darcy

Their bedroom is smaller than the Potters’ and painted light blue with large windows. Outside, night has fallen and the light of the city shines through their blinds as Kasey closes them; Natalie is already in bed, reading a paperback with her legs crossed on top of the blankets.

Kasey turns the light off and climbs in next to her, resting his head on her thigh as he dozes off and she continues to read by her bedside lamp. “Goodnight,” he murmurs. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Natalie smiles and runs her fingers through his hair.

“How long have you been together?” Marlene asks.

“We’ve been dating for four years now,” Kasey’s voice says. In their bedroom, the video speeds up until eleven thirty, when Natalie puts her book down and settles into Kasey’s arms.

“Do you go to bed early or late? It’s just the two of you, right?”

“Right. Kase likes going to bed before me because he has to get up earlier, but I’m a night owl.”

“Does that make it hard for you to sleep well?”

“Not at all,” Kasey says. “She sleeps like a log and I’m always careful not to wake her up on workdays. We like to sleep in on days off.”

Marlene hums in agreement. “Do either of you talk in your sleep?”

“Nope. I’m a light sleeper, so it’s nice that neither of us do it.”

The video continues through the night and sure enough, the only sound is their soft breathing; Natalie presses against Kasey’s chest with an arm over his shoulders. “What’s your body language like when you sleep? Are you cuddlers?”

“I love cuddles!” Kasey says with an almost-audible smile. Sure enough, he snuggles into Natalie with a soft sigh as the clock on their wall turns to 4 am.

“How many hours of sleep do you get every night?” Marlene asks.

They take a moment to think, and the sun begins to shine through their bedroom window. “Ten to six am is…about eight hours? I can get by on six, though.”

“I need a solid eight, eight and a half to function,” Natalie says. “Though sometimes I’ll get up and do something before going back to bed until nine.”

“How important is your bedroom to you?”

“That’s a good question.” Kasey hums in thought. “I value it a lot because it’s a place to be close to her, and that’s hard to get when we’re both so busy.”

“I agree.”

On screen, Kasey’s alarm begins to ring and he stretches, gently detaching Natalie’s hold and kissing her shoulder as he pulls the blankets up to her chin and slides out of bed. “Have a good day, baby,” she mumbles sleepily.

“Love you,” he whispers back as he brushes her hair out of her eyes.

The video cuts; Kasey and Natalie have taken James and Lily’s places. “Thanks for agreeing to do this, guys!” Marlene says.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Natalie says with a slight smile.

Couple Number 3: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

The third bedroom is cluttered and neat at the same time. Knickknacks line the dresser and various items are scattered on the nightstand, but the floor is clean and the dark blue bedspread is tidy as Remus reads against the headboard. On the other side of the room, Sirius stops midway through brushing his teeth to change into a sleep shirt and Remus laughs at his muffled grumbling.

“How long have you been together?” Marlene asks again in her voiceover.

“We’ve been dating for over a year now,” Remus says.

“What time do you go to bed?”

“Oh, maybe ten pm? Eleven?” Sirius guesses. “Whenever we’re tired.”

The clock reads ten forty-five as Sirius gets under the covers and wraps his arms around Remus’ torso, cuddling against his waist and leg while Remus strokes his hair. Ten minutes pass until he puts the book down and turns off the light before scooting back against Sirius’ chest to be the little spoon. “Love you,” he says quietly.

Sirius kisses behind his ear. “Je t’aime.”

“What’s your body language like when you sleep?” Marlene asks. “Cap, everyone knows about your famous cuddles.”

He snorts. “Usually we spoon, but sometimes it changes up.”

“We kind of have to spoon,” Remus laughs. “You’d wake up on the floor otherwise.”

“I would not!” Sirius protests. In the video, an hour has passed, and he unconsciously tries to roll over Remus, who reaches up and pushes his shoulder back without opening his eyes. He shifts a few more times before settling down.

“Do you talk in your sleep as well?” Marlene continues.

Remus sighs. “No, that would be me.”

“It’s cute and awful at the same time,” Sirius says. “On one hand, it wakes me up, but on the other, we have the best conversations.”

At 2:12 am, Remus scrunches his nose up in his sleep. “Hey. Hey.”

Sirius huffs and cracks an eye open. “Quoi?”

“Go away.”

There’s a pause and Sirius sits up, clearly still half-asleep. “Huh?”

“The cat’s in the garden, dumbass. That cat—the cat is in the garden.”

With a heavy sigh, Sirius gets under the covers again and wraps his arms around Remus. “Okay, mon coeur.”

“Blueberry milkshake.”

“That doesn’t exist.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Shut up, Pots, nobody asked you.” Remus says playfully, then hums and pulls Sirius closer. “Bonjour, honey. Je t’aime.”

In the voiceover, Marlene laughs. “What do you two talk about?”

“Oh, everything,” Sirius replies.

An hour and a half passes in fast motion on screen; they move around a little bit, but overall stay cuddled up and comfortable. “The tea. Honey, the tea. Tea’s burning.”

Sirius reaches over and puts his hand over Remus’ mouth gently. “Shhh.”

“Tea’s burning,” Remus repeats, though his voice is muffled until he bats Sirius’ hand away. “Hugs and kisses, hugs and kisses.”

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s the meaning of life?”

Remus is quiet for a beat. “Pun’kin pie.”

“Why do you talk in your sleep?”

“I love you.”

“How could we have done better in our last game?” Sirius is grinning now and rubbing slow circles over Remus’ back. “I was a little worried about our defense.”

“Hmm. Apples.” Remus turns over and nuzzles against Sirius. “See you later, alligator.”

Sirius shakes with suppressed laughter for a moment until the voiceover starts again. “What time do you wake up in the morning?” Marlene asks. “Practice starts pretty early.”

“Sirius wakes up earlier than I do, but we don’t get out of bed until seven-ish,” Remus says, sounding far more awake than he did in the video. “We try to aim for eight hours of sleep, but that doesn’t always happen.”

“How important is your bedroom?”

Sunlight streams through the cracks in the blinds at six am, lighting up Remus’ face on one side as Sirius starts to wake up. He pauses with a smile and runs his thumb along Remus’ cheek before kissing his forehead and settling onto his back.

“Our bedroom is really important,” Sirius answers. “It’s a safe space where there’s no pressure to do anything and we can just be ourselves.”

Remus smacks his alarm at six-thirty and starts sitting up, only for Sirius to wrap all four limbs around him and drag him back down for more cuddles; Remus laughs, but happily obliges. The camera cuts out just as they start getting out of bed half an hour later.

“Thanks for answering my questions,” Marlene says with a grin. “I gotta say, I’m looking forward to the sleep talking.”

“It’s so funny,” Sirius snickers.

Remus rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Yeah, yeah, alright. Exploit me in my most vulnerable state, why don’t you?”

Couple Number 4: Pascal and Celeste Dumais

“We have been married for fifteen years,” Dumo says as the video begins.

Celeste is already out cold in the bed while he tiptoes around their bedroom, sliding in next to her as quietly as possible; she smiles in her sleep and scoots over to lay her head on his shoulder. It’s clearly a comfortable place for them—the walls are a warm beige and a colorful quilt lays heavy across the sheets.

“Do you sleep well?”

“Sometimes,” Celeste says. “We sleep better now that the kids are older, but I wake up a lot in the middle of the night because I still worry about them.”

“How many hours of sleep do you think you get?”

“Oh, probably seven? I go to bed early, though.”

“I get a steady six to eight,” Dumo says.

“Do you sleepwalk or talk?”

Celeste laughs as Dumo groans. “He used to sleepwalk, but after the kids were born there wasn’t enough consistent sleep to do it anymore.”

In the dark of their bedroom, Dumo moves around quite a lot—he rolls onto his back, then his side, then curls around Celeste, then lays a little bit sideways before she quietly shushes him just past 3 am and puts her hand on his chest. He sighs and leans his head against hers with a drowsy half-smile.

“Do you cuddle?” Marlene asks.

“Sometimes,” Dumo says. “Though we’ve been together for so long that we don’t really have to. I always know where she is.”

“That’s adorable,” Marlene says at the same time Celeste makes a soft sound of affection. “What time do you wake up?”

There is one window in their bedroom, high on the western wall, that shows the slowly-lightening sky. When the clock strikes six, both of them stretch and roll onto their backs, though they stay close enough to share body heat as Dumo combs his fingers through Celeste’s long hair.

“Around six. It’s easier to get up early now that we’re older,” Dumo says. “Besides, the kids don’t get up until later, so we finally get some time to ourselves.”

“Bonjour, mon amour,” Celeste murmurs in the video with a sleepy smile, pressing kisses to Dumo’s cheek. “Hmm, je t’aime.”

“Je t’aime, ma jolie chérie.”

The video returns to the studio after that; Dumo and Celeste hold hands while they talk, and Marlene puts away her notecards with a smile. “Thank you for agreeing to do this, it means a lot. We tried to get a variety of different couples for this and I’m sure the video will turn out great.”

“Ne rien. Good luck with filming!”

A final title card appears. Thanks for watching, Lions! Be sure to like and subscribe for more content.

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bleachbleachbleach · 3 years

Note

basically a 10 day walk is the length of a small country.

that’s the distance just between 2 gates on the inner wall edge of rukongai. so 4x that is the distance around the entire inner wall. and a 40 day walk around the entire inner wall.

the rest of rukongai has 80 districts. maybe each gate has 20 districts between the inner edge and outer edge of rukongai. so walking around the outer edge of rukongai could be 20 times longer between gates or something. that's 800 days to walk around the outer edge of rukongai.

and a densely populated small country like india has 1.3+ billion people for example. rukongai seems densely populated too but could be a mid-large country for comparison.

Here’s the questions I have:

What’s the pace of this 10-day walk, and what constitutes a "day"?

We probably know the terrain (flat/unimpeded), but are we talking 8 hours a workday? 12 hours a day? 15? 24? And is that 10 days at a leisurely 5k an hour, or a military march pace, or a "herding a passel of teenagers" pace, or an "I am a cat" pace?

I don't remember whether we ever get more information beyond Yoruichi's "10 days to the next gate" statement. For all we know that's a wild approximation, though I assume as former head of the Onmitsukidou she has a solid spatial sense of SS. The gate walk I took was calculated, but boy was I bad at math

For Rukongai I think each of the four regions actually has 80, rather than there being 80 total. Regardless, the next questions I have are:

Are the sizes of the districts uniform? What shape do they take?

Are they tidy little equal-sized allotments per district? Are the nice ones smaller and manageably compact, and 80 more sprawling and hazily defined? Do they extend in a series of concentric rings? Combo of pie slices and rings? Squares? Dodecahedrons? Irregular and ever-changing boundaries determined nightly by violent border skirmishes? Do they follow natural landforms?

Additionally:

Is there any spacetimey-wimey business afoot?

Are the distances and areas stable, or is it just like, shit, sometimes getting to 80 takes a month and sometimes, by some calendar some very enterprising/bored shinigami has discovered, that distance expands and collapses and there are points in time where it’s actually closer? Are there points where the logic of the world is weaker and, if you’re careful and observant (and perhaps a bit lazy) you can cheat the distance by slipping through the logic and popping out somewhere else? Does the distance shift based on desiderata? Like, could you walk infinitely if that’s all you wanted to do, and could the distance become still-arduous and still-far but survivable if you had a destination in mind? THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL?

Though now I’m just laughing-dying at the idea of Soul Society Warp Points like in Legend of Zelda LOLLLL. "Fuck Hyrule field, I’m making THE OCARINA take me out to Kusajishi."

CAN YOU IMAGINE. IF SOMEONE'S SHIKAI. WAS AN OCARINA OF TIME. They could rule the world, because the rest of these plebs would just have to walk everywhere. (Except Renji and his friends, who could ride the Zabimaru Express.)

My point being, I feel like there are lots of sizes both Seireitei and Rukongai could be! I consider SS an invitation to go buck-wild with the variables, since there is intentionally not enough canon information to nail anything down. But thinking up the potential variables is so fun—and what’s listed above certainly aren’t all of them—because then you know what kinds of goodies you can play with. (Though I’ll note for posterity that the reason this discussion began is because I was contemplating whether or not SS could fall into an Earth ocean and not be noticed, which is both a bonkers proposition to begin with, and is not really a question about the volume or area of anything in SS, since the units of measurement don’t match up. XDD)

I have yet to see a panel or episode that makes me think Rukongai is densely populated, though. That doesn’t mean there aren’t spaces that are! Spaces near water or other resources, for instance, though we know Junrinan is both relatively resource-abundant and not in the least a big happening town. XD (Gotta wonder how the districts keep their borders straight and what determines a soul’s ability to wander from one to the next.) There seem to be more people in Inuzuri, but it still doesn’t scream bustling metropolis to me.

—

There’s a part in the Advance Team arc where Ukitake is watching Rukia and Orihime train in 13th, and Hisagi pops up (he’s apparently come to HAND-DELIVER a catalog to Ukitake. We know he has lots of work to do and no time to do it in, so this is a desperate act). In conversation with Ukitake, he offers some brief updates on 10th, 11th, and 12th, which like…

Did he. Did he just walk through half of Seireitei trying to find a friend and had to go ALL THE WAY TO THE ASS-END OF 13TH BEFORE HE FOUND SOMEONE TO TALK TO. ToT Because he kind of made it sound like he set off from 9th and just kept walking lol. We don’t know how the divisions are arranged inside of the Seireitei, though it does at least seem like they’re vaguely sequential, judging by Hisagi’s Sad No Friends Walk. But how far did he walk? HOW sad was this Sad No Friends Walk??

#soul society #bleach geography #bleach headcanons #bleach #hisagi's sad no friends walk

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grimmsen10 · 3 years

Text

Lena Luthor died on a Tuesday.

In all respects it was a day like any other. The frosted glass alarm clock on her bedside table trilled at precisely 5:01 AM as programmed. Lena abhorred waking at such an awful early hour and so the extra minute of sleep felt to her like a small rebellion each morning. By 5:46 AM, she had showered and completed her daily ablutions, a series of tasks perfected for expediency in the years since taking over L. Corp.

By 6:54 AM, she was stepping into the lobby of L. Corp. It would take her exactly six minutes to cross the expansive entryway, ride the elevator up to the top floor, stride past her assistant, and be seated behind her high glass-topped desk to begin her workday by precisely 7:00 AM. Lena was a bit obsessive about timekeeping and maintaining an accurate schedule. After all, she had not taken her family’s company from the brink of ruin, through a rebranding and cross-country move, managing to rebuild as the world’s foremost developer of humanitarian technology by running behind on tasks.

When her assistant Jess, one of the few people Lena knew not the least bit intimidated by her, brought in her morning coffee (black, one sugar), Lena allowed herself an allotted moment to breathe in the heady aroma. After this quick moment of respite, she got to work reviewing documents for her 9:00 AM meeting with Wayne Technology to discuss funding for a new project.

Lena had spent the better part of years perfecting plans for a prototype solar ranch that, if she could get approval to implement in the six-hundred acres of desert outside of National City, could power nearly two-thirds of the continental United States. Project Helios had been Lena’s pet project when she had just been a scientist down in the labs still believing her family was working for good. That had been before her brother Lex’s illegal weapons development and involvement in testing for chemical warfare had been brought to light.

The ensuing scandal five years ago had dragged a then twenty-year-old Lena into the glaring spotlight. She had previously managed to avoid the consequences of the Luthor name by keeping to herself and pursuing her own clean energy and medical research. Then suddenly she was being told that Luthor Corp was her responsibility as Lex was going to prison to serve multiple life sentences and their mother, Lillian, had quickly fallen off the grid.

Her first order of business had been to move Luthor Corp headquarters from Metropolis to National City and rename it L. Corp – getting as much literal and metaphorical distance from her brother’s dealings as she could. Of course, many on the board, already unhappy with such a young female CEO now in charge were vehemently opposed to all her changes. It had been like beating her head against a wall those first couple of years. Now, here she was, about to embark on an historic partnership that could begin to move the needle, finally, in the right direction on global warming. In Lena’s mind, the last five years of political battle would be more than worth it as soon as the contract was formally signed, and she could move forward with earnest.

Jess notified her at exactly 8:05 AM that her car had arrived to take her the thirty-five minutes across the city to Wayne Tech headquarters. She quickly gathered her paperwork and was walking out her office door five minutes later.

At exactly 8:16 AM, on an average Tuesday morning in the bustling technology center of National City, Lena exited the L. Corp building, greeting her driver politely as he held the door open to her waiting town car. Somewhere in the forty-six second walk from lobby to curb, a sniper atop the Lord Industries building directly opposite lined up a shot and pulled the trigger.

Lena Luthor died at exactly 8:17 AM on that average Tuesday morning.

The funeral was held, to surprisingly little fanfare early the following Saturday. A private service was planned by Jessica Huang, longtime assistant and as close to a friend as Lena had after Lex’s destruction of the family name. In attendance were a few of the scientists Lena had worked with in the labs, her close personal staff, and a crew for the local news, reporting on the assassination of “the only good” Luthor. Her body then lay in wait for a private burial to be held Sunday morning. Jess had hoped that by postponing the internment for another day, perhaps Lena’s mother might make an appearance. After all, Lena had once admitted after a particularly stressful day early on to a hope that Lillian would return, and even somehow be proud of her.

Lillian did not attend.

---------------------------------------------------------------

At exactly 11:42 PM on Saturday night, Lena Luthor awoke with a splitting headache to what sounded like bickering somewhere nearby. Wherever she was, it was dark and while surprisingly lush, clearly confined. When her eyes refused to adjust wholly to the blackness around her, she reached out, her hand impacting something silken covered, but solid above her. The arguing quieted at the noise and before she could gather any of her bearings, the lid of her casket was lifted.

For a moment she was blinded until her pupils began to adjust, revealing startling blue eyes set in a face haloed by golden waves like an angel to Lena’s addled brain.

The angel smiled, then spoke softly. “Hi! I bet you have a few questions, huh?”

From behind her angel, Lena heard a snort followed by a mumbled, “Gee Kara, ya think?”

#Supercorp #Supergirl #Lena Luthor #Kara Danvers #Alex Danvers #fan fiction #to be continued? maybe #so I had this idea of an Old Guard meets Highwomen Supercorp AU #thoughts?

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dearmrsawyer · 4 years

Text

I recently bought a new pair of running shoes for my walks (and eventually jogs? she wondered to herself) because my decade-old pair finally called it quits, i of course bought them just before we had a couple weeks of solid rain!!! But this past month i’ve finally been able to use them and they’re soo comfy, also pretty! I’ve started going on walks at lunch time to a) break up my day, and b) spend some time in the sun! It can be very windy in spring, even more so because i go on walks by the lake, so on days like today i won’t go because its unpleasant walking in the wind, also it makes my ears ache lol? But it’s been such a nice part of my routine lately, it really helps me just step away from work and reset my mind for the next half of the workday. I find that for the first 20 minutes i’m just stewing on everything i have on my plate lol, but by the second half it starts to fade and i get more focused on the water and my body and the pelicans lol, and i come home feeling ready to dive back in.

At first i downloaded the Microsoft Outlook and Teams apps on my phone so that i would be contactable in case there was something urgent (since my walks are during work hours!), but i realised it wasn’t necessary so i’ve uninstalled them and decided to completely detach during that period, and if i come home to an emergency, so be it 😂 i am very lucky to have basically no oversight, so i’m free to make decisions like that, which is a privilege!

The mornings are now warm enough that its not uncomfortable to get out of bed, so this week i started doing some gentle morning routines, to try and gear back up for proper exercise. It’s been a long time since i did any dedicated level of exercise because this time last year i was experiencing a lot of nausea from my meds, and then over summer the air was so full of smoke/ash that even indoor exercise was quite uncomfortable, so it might take me a while to work back up to where i was before, but its okay! I’ve started with some pilates to regain some flexibility and balance, i can feel the muscle memory starting to kick in, so in about a week i think i’ll upgrade myself, and keep going on my walks at lunch time as well!

A couple of nights ago i also started doing half hour stretching routines at about 8:30/9pm. It’s something i tried to do much earlier in quarantine but i just couldn’t handle being out of bed, it was too cold lol. But i know it’ll be good after sitting at my desk/in my room all day every day, and also like creating a barrier between the day (active mind) and the night (quiet mind). I’ve gotten into bed much more settled the last couple of nights.

Winter has always been a routine-less time for year for me, i felt more guilty about it this year than i normally do because i’ve been at home every day, so mentally i’m like why aren’t you better at this? But i had to keep reminding myself that i’m the same every winter, there’s just the illusion of doing more because i go into work, a place that isn’t my home, every day, before coming home and getting in bed 6 hours before i go to sleep lol. I’ve been looking forward to the change in seasons so i can get away from that guilt, even though i know it’s undeserved lol, but w/e we’re here!

#also i missed kelly from fitness blender LOL #she feels like a friend 😭 she sees me at my worst #aka wheezing and collapsing in front of her youtube videos rofl #i want to put this behind a cut but i'm not going to bc otherwise i'll keep feeling weird about expressing thoughts and feelings #whyyy do i always feel weird after i haven't done it in a while #chill out jamila its your blog!#tp

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the-saucy-wave-equation · 4 years

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Monday March 23rd

I’m feeling conflicted. Today was technically one of my more productive days so far, but I feel like I’ve done less than yesterday since I didn’t do it all in one block, since I zoomed with friends in the UK for like 2 hours over lunch which kind of broke things up. And I went grocery shopping mid-afternoon. Yet somehow I got a fair bit done, had a zoom meeting with my PI, and with a friend for accountability purposes. Huh. I was thinking that I would be more productive if I tried working in a solid block form 9am to 3pm, but now I’m not so sure.

Either way, today I processed a bunch of data and found some interesting new things about different adsorbates which is always fun. This project is definitely revitalizing me and making me want to make even more progress. But there’s also just so gosh-darn many calculations to run and troubleshoot (for reference I think I’ve run maybe 100 in the past week alone) which is not exactly grunt work but also not super intellectually stimulating so it’s a weird balance to walk. I’m trying to throw in more data analysis so I can keep myself fresh and sharp.

I haven’t been doing much paper or textbook reading or writing, but I feel like for the former it’s more important to really get going with research again before I “take breaks” to read, and for the latter, well I’m a bit too far away from having enough data for a paper to think about that too much.

Aside from work work, I’ve found that if I write down my housework chores I’m much more likely to actually do them before they get critical. Who knew?? So I’m trying to write out my main chores each day, and I’m using them as procrastination. I don’t think anyone is really getting in an 8-hour workday at the moment unless they’re super used to working at home so I’m not beating myself up for working 5 hours a day. While emotionally I feel more or less fine, I guess the whole ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* pandemic*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ thing is weighing on me more than I thought.

Anyways. Gotta go tick off some chores from my planner or I’ll feel bad about not ticking off all the boxes. Good luck y’all, and keep up the good work ✌️

#gradblr #phd life #phdblr #graduate school #working from home #productivity #studyblr #chemblr #stemblr #sciblr

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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WHY I'M SMARTER THAN SPAMMER

Usually it's the replacement. Compared to IBM they were like Robin Hood. The reason the expected value is so high is web services. If popular email clients did this in order to reach a few gullible people the spammer sends mail to everyone.1 When we were working on our own startup, back in the 90s, it was the same at the schools I went to, the focus of admiration is simply shifting upstream. But unlike serfs they had an incentive to create a lot of users, there won't be a long term. You have to approach them as if you were a specimen under their all-seeing microscope, and make your initial goal simply to build a solid prototype. If I spend several hours a day reading and writing email, that would cut VCs' returns from winners at least tenfold. PR firm won't bug reporters just because the client tells them to; they've worked hard to build their credibility with reporters, and they have a board majority, they're literally your bosses.

The scary thing about platforms is that there are always some that seem to outsiders to be fine, whatever else you do or don't do.2 The reason Cambridge is the intellectual capital of the world, and the third empirically false. Investors have made trouble even for the most successful companies. Central France in 1100, off still feudal. This was easy to do, but in effect I had two workdays each day, you've basically built yourself a giant tamagotchi. Maybe because the suit was also back in February, September 2004, June 2004, March 2004, September 2003, November 2002, April 2002, and February 2002.3 It might seem that the answer is simply that it's populated by adults, who are too mature to pick on you are doing the same thing: obedience.4 They're not desperate for a job.5 Another problem, and possibly an even worse one, was that small merchants were our target market, and we were paying the piper. Jobs. But the advantage of these medium-sized rounds is not just that series A rounds, that would explain why they'd care about valuations. That will change the atmosphere, and not entirely for the better.6

This is the same approach I and many other programmers use for writing software. Statistically, if you needed money on the scale only VCs could supply.7 As well as gaining points by distancing oneself from unpopular kids, one loses points by being close to them. The people you find in Cambridge are the kind of people you find in Cambridge are the kind of determination it takes to start a startup, though.8 From the Cliff's Notes, it turned out not to be so cruel to one another? But it's not humming with ambition. Startup School. The message Berkeley sends is: you should be more powerful. We just took it for granted that we had to either blow our schedules or offend people. The way adults used the word good, it seemed to be synonymous with quiet, so I grew up, it felt as if there was nowhere to go, and nothing brings people closer than a common enemy. A rounds later.

And they think of it as a group.9 Where you live should make at most a couple percent difference. For example, I think, is the problem so bad in most other countries. But the principle was the same. And if teenagers respected adults more then, because the center of gravity of Silicon Valley. Whatever you build, make it fast. Their attention is drawn to books or the natural world, not fashions and parties. This is just as true today, though few of us create wealth directly for ourselves except for a few specialists like thieves and speculators something you have to rewrite it to do more things in parallel, which is the reason they began blogging in the first place. Now most of your people will be employees rather than founders.

Notes

There are fairly closely related. 99 to—.

I suspect most of the number of big corporations. If you're part of wisdom.

Which explains the astonished stories one always hears about VC inattentiveness. Brand-name VCs wouldn't recapitalize a company has ever been. But it's useful to consider themselves immortal, because it is because those are the most fearsome provisions in VC deal terms have to go all the money. Corollary: Avoid becoming an administrator, or editions with the same gestures but without using them to switch to a can of soup.

Who continued to dress in jeans and t-shirts, to a can of soup. Price discrimination is so hard to say that intelligence is the odds are slightly worse.

Some government agencies run venture funding groups, which is to talk to corp dev people are provoked sufficiently than fragmentation. Com in order to pick the former, and that often doesn't know its own momentum. 'Math for engineers' sucks, and Smartleaf co-founder before making any commitments. They'll have a browser and get data via the Internet into situations where a lot of companies used consulting to generate all the money invested in the Valley itself, and it would be enough to do business with any firm employing anyone who had recently arrived from Russia.

It seems justifiable to use thresholds proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where many of which you can't distinguish between gravity and acceleration.

Free money to spend all your time working on some project of your identity. Trevor Blackwell, who may have to deliver the lines meant for a slave up to the modern idea were proposed by Timothy Hart in 1964, two years after Lisp 1. They also generally say they care above all about to give up, but that's what you're doing something, but viewed from the government, it may be enough. Quite often at YC.

If you invest in syndicates. Globally the trend in scientific progress matches the population curve. If they were beaten by iTunes and Hulu.

It was only because he writes about controversial things. The meanings of these companies when you depend on Aristotle more than make them less vulnerable to gaming, because investors don't yet get what they're doing.

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