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#and thats ok that you dont- at the end of the day you should be drawing for yourself and doing what makes you happy
frostbite-the-bat · 5 months
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talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also
about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.
and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.
i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.
and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!
SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me
but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!
but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.
so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you
#anyways omg god forbid ppl are cog kissers on the robot kissing website /silly#but like!! tt/r may not be for everyone and tt/cc may not be for everyone and THATS OK!! ur not gonna like everything!!#like i accepted tt/r isnt for me but its mostly bc they dont show cog health specifically and i struggle with these things but !! i#heard they are updating that so i might be able to play without getting bored / frustrated again ^^ i havent played properly in yeaaaars#i will still prefer clash bc fixation and?? i LIKE ROBOBTS....!#but tewtow is tewtow its all swag. the least toony thing u can do is bully someone for Liking Robobt. be niceys#like ya i admit im not perfect i also dont like people andhave so much one sided beef and i am sensitive to so many things and i complain#in private but at the end of the day its to make myself feel better and i KNOW to not engage and look away and work on feeling better#bc this stuff does Heehoo upset me bc Mental Health Probulem. but i know everyone should and can do their own thing and have fun#i may complain about (redacted ship) all the time and i dont get it at all but...? bro... just have fun... be free. im not here to stop you#im just not gonna interact as i should. good for both of us! joyous world! happy that ur happy!!!!#why complain abt ppl just Enjoying Cogs like that though................................................ do you not like fun#this is not at anyone specific#my friend did show me tags of a post anonymously#and i vague a person whos name i dont know ingame like A YEAR AGO#and a convo what happened in a server a while back. but its not anyone specific i just wanted to like. speak my thoughts#lets be frense... and if not thats okay lets not argue either then we all stay in our lanes
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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pilmyeol · 7 months
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JUST REMEMBERED THE FIRST TIME I EVER GOT DUMPED. CRYING…
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arsenicflame · 8 days
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no bond stronger than the one between the only two competent coworkers
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dreamcast-official · 5 months
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hm. thinking.
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vaugarde · 7 months
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i need to find another pmd project to love on relentlessly to make up for that. i almost feel bad hating on a fan project like that
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astro-inthestars · 2 years
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Hi guess who feels like he just experienced 8 consecutive days in a matter of 2?
#rennikorambles#holy fuHUCK I AM SO EXHAUSTED. I AM LITERALLY EXHAUSTED#I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF I SAY THIS MIGHT BE THE MOST EXHAUSTING TWO DAYS OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE...#yesterday in class our very first subject was our advisory one and since the cheer dance has been crucial we just went down to practice#great straining start to the day! (i do like our cheer dance though i think we'll beat the other sections but MAN IS IT TIRING.)#and then i had to go over to the avr to get prized and shit for winning 1st place on the spelling bee(it was nothing dont even care abt it)#and then after that immediately had to go down (since this was the end of class) and practice AGAIN for 2 more hours#good god and thats friday for you#and im pretty sure this was when i discovered that my brother (who usually goes home at 4 and my practice ended then)#had left me behind and gone home already. and like usually whenever i have practice and end at 4 we just go home w#*together#but. yeah. that didnt have me feeling good but it was okay#and when i was ready to pass out hoHOH NOO NONO#my aunt decided hey! we should celebrate your wonderful high grades by going out together (me my brother and my cousin) and h#have a sleepover! and we were just. sure ok. so we had to pack IMMEDIATELY and get on going#more stuff and more waiting in traffic happened and shit and more shit#and then we got to the street mall and hogh boy MORE WALKING. but i love the place so i didnt mind (still walking though. haugh)#and then ate at a place ive never eaten at. i liked the food really! but then my stomach decided death for me#(apparently eating dinner 9 hours after lunch isnt good..?) so the rest of the time my stomach was squeezing and i felt like throwing up#but it was fine i didnt throw up! AND THEN ALSO I FAILED TO MENTION. My class paid to reserve 4 hours at a court to practice#which was at 10 am the next day. so i had to sleep early which i did! woke up at 7 <3 watched enola holmes....#bUT I STILL GOT SO FUCKING LATE I ARRIVED AT 11. didnt even get to savor the sleepover haugh..... and then practice OH practice. sufferings#after a whole problem with a bunch of idiots at the court that barged in we decided to cut the practice at 12:30#i got picked up by my parents then we went home! .BUT ITS NOT OVER YET. WE HAD TO BRING OUR HOUSEHELP TO HER HOUSE#and they said it'd be quick. just a quick drop off to help her.#bUT NOOOOO WE WENT TO THE FILIPINO EQUIVALENT OF COSTCO AND THEN AN AMUSEMENT PARK#WHICH WAS SO COOL OH MY FUCK BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT.#first of all i got to finally try the Vikings ride and a roller coaster! good news i can handle roller coasters!#bad news i cannot handle vikings. theyre.... overwhelming- i couldnt even SCREAM from how scared i was#anyways i roamed phil costco it was so fun. but my poor feet. i have sustained 5 different kinds of body pain.
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bugsmoocher · 11 months
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mmaster hcief
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ozomatli · 2 years
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"if you vote for a bad thing then its bad to vote. hope this helps" yeah it helps identify you as a fucking cunt
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jimmyclueless · 3 months
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Hello 👋 🤗,
I hope you are well 🌺.
I am writing to you with a heart full of hope and faith, asking for your urgent help. My family is in great danger due to the war, and I am running a fundraising campaign to save them.
Please, could you reblog the post about my campaign on my account? Every share can make a difference in my family's life. 🙏
Note:My old Tumblr account was deactivated💔, and I need your support again♥️.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can provide. 🌹🌺
hello!
i try to avoid any potentially stressful things on this blog, since i have nothing to donate and hate the guilt of being unable to help.
this is the link to the gofundme, and its been vetted plenty,by what i saw. im glad youre getting closer to your goal and wish you safety and fortune going forward.
#asks#donation#i ma not going to make a habit of reblogging these things since i have so few followers and the only good i think this does#is take a moment to show where i stand(people should not be killed en masse)#anyways. i tried to donate a few times but it refused-my only guess as to why would be a currency uh transfer issue? would you happne#to have any alternate payment methods outside of gofundme? i have like 10 usd in my spendings i can try to give#jts not much but it can help add up i hope .#but . to anyone who is reading this i assume that if you could donate you probably have and if you cant then theres no point in just . guilt#it doesnt make things better to hate yourself for not being able to fix thhings so dont worry .#itll all be ok in the end so if its not ok its not the end <-only thing keeping me going some days</3#hopefully some day youll get to the point you have the opportunity to help others . whether that be disposable income#or a moment in time you can offer .whatever . if that time isnt now thats fine itll come eventually so just keep going#any ways . i just dont like people feeling guilty for something they cant change or didnt choose. its not ur fault#n as long as you choose to help when u can thats the thing that defines you and the thing that matters#(this would have gone on my sb for these kinds of things since they stress me out to no end but since the ask was sent here#thats where its gonna end up ig</3)#hope everyone has a good day or moment . if not now then soon . just to take a moment and breathe and feel okay#that would be nice
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clownboy-yeehonk · 7 months
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#so my grandma died#its ok bc shes been sorta fading for a while we knew it was coming sooner rather than later#the aide said she was talking to my grandpa last night and hes been dead since 2014#and its nice to think that he came to come pick her up#funerals are always weird bc were not a very dramtically emotional family so its a lot of talking about the details#what hymns she wanted where the repasse should be what food theyll be serving what were all wearing#and its funny bc my grandma was a penultimately particular woman who wrote down precisely what she wanted done#down to the shoes she wants to be buried in as if anyone is going to see her feet#but GOD forbid she walks through the pearly gates BAREFOOT she could never#she died in the middle of the night and my dad joked that she probably did that so it wouldnt be a big scene in the middle of the day#when they came to take her body from the house#and on one hand like dad that is your MOTHER#but also objectively hes probs not wrong she would have hated a big scene in the middle of the day with neighbors watching#and i gotta request time off work and im asking my managers how i submit the request and i dont wanna say SORRY bc like its my dead grandma#but also ya i was supposed to be training a new girl this week at work 🙃#like obviously were all really sad but theres so much to get done that you end up discussing all the details#shes def in a better place like i do believe shes with my grandpa again and she went peacefully and thats very much a blessing#but i have no idea what im gonna wear to this thing#and that feels like a dumb thing to fixate on! but alas#here we are
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nightfallsystem · 10 months
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im so tired of being useless and bad at art. i put myself through all this pain for nothing loll
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I know this may be random, but do you watch kaguya sama: love is war? Or atleast know all four openings of it? Cause oh boy, let me tell you I connected the openings with RyuDai, ShinaDai, MineDai, and MasaDai.
This is from the same anon who's shy in sharing my art, but thankful to you for giving me motivation to continue improving my art, as well as the same anon who dragged my sibling to rgg. Update, they love Onomichio, they will literally say goodbye to me in Onomichio style with all the motion, pose, and intonation of voice, like they will seriously greet someone in Onomichio style this is not a joke.
i dont know a single thing about kaguya sama im so sorry anon </3
but thats so cute your sibling's obsessed with ono michio- like if theres one thing to become obsessed with from rgg im so glad its that thats so wholesome :')
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morose-melodies · 5 days
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i need dottore,tartaglia,pantalone and capitano(those were in my mind for a while and its killing me) with a reader who always tries to escape.using different tactics each time but always ends up failing.and one day,the reader hads enough and snaps "if you didnt take away and acted like a normal person from the start,i could have loved you"
İf you dont want to or dont feel like writing,thats ok👍
failing attempts | various! yandere! harbingers x reader
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CAPITANO
this was escape attempt five.
you truly were optimistic, but capitano wouldn't let you leave him so easily.
your escape attempts seemed to be getting more and more desperate and, therefore, more dangerous to you.
you had attempted to jump out of a window the night before, just as he was arriving home from a mission. the sheer terror he felt as he watched you lean out of the second-floor window was insurmountable.
now, not only was the front door locked shut from the outside, but the windows were now barricaded too. you were a danger to yourself.
and all capitano ever wanted was for you to be safe and with him. was that too much to ask for? was that so terribly wrong of him?
the captain didn't want to take extreme measures to keep you home; he didn't want to lock you in a room, nor did he want to tie you down. he wasn't the sort. He just wanted you to stay without any excessive force.
but you were pushing him into a corner.
this morning, you had darted out of the backdoor, still in your pajamas and without shoes, into the cold.
you didn't make it far at all. you had barely made it over the garden fence, and you were stumbling now.
the captain... sighed as he followed after you. it wasn't an extreme chase; you hadn't even tried to fight back as usual when he caught you; you just stumbled on about something incomprehensible as he wrapped you up into his coat and lifted you into his arms.
"that was terribly immature of you," looking down at you, the captain felt sorry for you, "I would like it if you would stay home but if you plan on leaving, please do wear proper clothing next time. i can not bear the thought of you dying out in the cold."
"if you didn't take me away," at this point, perhaps death was better than being stuck with him, "and if you acted like a normal person," but, you wanted to go home - you wanted to be with your family, "I could've loved you."
capitano's mind blanked. he had given you a chance to come with him freely; he had been kind to you, so were you not lying?
it didn't matter now, did it? "(y/n), you do understand you've caused all this trouble, correct? should you have been a bit more understanding, you wouldn't be in this situation. i love you. Is that not obvious? i only want to see you thrive and to be happy."
he was at the point of no return; he could only go backward from here.
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DOTTORE
to take time out of dottore's day, to make him leave the manor to come find you for what seemed like the millionth time - he was admittedly quite frustrated with you.
he found you hanging from the gate, your coat caught on the spike of it.
he grinned - this was a funny sight, but, at the same time, it wasn't funny at all. he was actually very disappointed in you.
dottore approached the gate, standing behind you, "tell me just how long have you been hanging here for?"
your nose was running, and you looked absolutely defeated. when you don't reply, dottore clicks his tongue, shaking his head, "Would your life not be simpler if you just accepted your situation? This is such a pitiful sight, (y/n)."
dottore unlocked the gate and walked outside of him, and he helped you down and brushed off the snow that piled on your coat.
"let's go, (y/n)," dottore grabbed your forearm and prepared to pull you back towards the manor, "I've had enough of your antics - perhaps a night or two in the basement would do you well."
"no-" you tugged back, attempting to free your arm from his grip, "stop it! you make me s-so sick! just let me go!"
"(y/n), please. you've done nothing be give me grief," dottore sighed, tugging you along with him, "I don't understand why you feel that being stubborn will get you anywhere."
"you... don't understand?" you grumbled, digging your feet into the snow, trying to pull your weight, trying to stop dottore from getting you back inside, "you're kidding me! i hate you! You're disgusting and unlovable!"
"(y/n), lower your voice - I'm exhausted and you're giving me a migraine," dottore sighed, stopping and getting a better hold on your arm before tugging you along once more.
"if you have yet to notice, I'm quite content with just having you near. i don't exactly need your love to make me feel any better than i do now. hm, that's the sort of effect you have on me."
you went quiet and dottore assumed you had worn yourself out. he brought you inside and sat you down in front of the fireplace, his hand rubbing circles on your shoulder.
"I could've loved you... maybe if you hadn't taken me away..." you trailed off, holding your hands in front of the fire. Why did he continue to act as if he cared for you? "maybe, um, if you were normal, I could've loved you."
dottore smiled at you, though you couldn't see it, "whether you love me or not is trivial - i have you, (y/n), and that's what I need. you, (y/n), you're all I need."
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PANTALONE
pantalone was above getting dirty.
it was nothing personal. he'd do just about anything else for you! he just couldn't imagine himself running around late at night trying to find you.
what was the point when he had other fatuus to do such things for him? they have yet to fail him.
so, while you were out, trying to leave pantalone as multiple fatuus' chased after you, pantalone was running you a warm bath and set a pair of clean clothes out for you.
he knew you'd come back filthy. You always did.
he wondered what he could do to keep you home. He wasn't one for forceful methods; he would hate to hurt you. you were his pride and joy.
pantalone would sigh deeply, dipping his hand into the bathwater to make sure it was still warm.
you never wanted anything from pantalone... well, except for that one time, you asked for a can of soup, but then you used it to smash the bathroom window open and jumped out...
that didn't exactly count.
he heard the front door open and knew you were being dragged in now. the guards weren't gentlemen, quite the contrary, in truth.
you always looked so sad and defeated after the caught you.
"oh, (y/n)," pantalone held a hand to his chest as he stood from where he kneeled at the side of the tub, he stepped forward and wanted to embrace you but you were a mess, "you're a mess."
he frowned at you, as the guards released you and shut the bathroom door behind them as they left. "you must be cold, oh dear," his heart ached for you, such a pitiful sight you were.
you were so lucky that he loved you.
he attempted to remove your top, but you tensed, making it hard for him, "do-don't touch me."
"but you're filthy," pantalone reasoned, once again trying to remove your top but you wouldn't budge, "(y/n), I'm doing this because I love you so very much. please, don't make this hard."
"I don't-" you stepped back, shaking your head at him, "I don't want your help. g-get out, just leave."
pantalone's lips pressed into a thin line as he stared at you, "what's the matter? i-i'm not mad at you, not at all. I understand that i must be lacking something-"
"get out! my gosh, wh-what's with you!? just leave!"
"(y/n)..."
"get out! get out! leave!"
"please, calm down. let me help you undress, alright? You're in a bad mood, i get it. That's no excuse to be rude to someone who loves you dearly," pantalone spoke to you as if he were your mother.
he reached forward and tugged off your shirt with extra force; it wasn't much force; it was just in case you were prepared to tense up again!
"there we go," pantalone cooed as he eased you into the warm bath. he washed your hair for you, making sure to scrub extra hard to get the muck out of your hair.
it was, in a way, soothing...
if only...
"if you hadn't... taken me away and, um," you sniffled, raising your hand to wipe at your nose, "if you were normal... i could've loved you."
instead of offending, that pleased pantalone. what he was hearing was 'you liked him for who he was' and there was nothing better than hearing that.
hm, if only he hadn't taken you away.
"that is the kindest thing you've ever said to me," pantalone smiled, "thank you, (y/n)."
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CHILDE
it was a sort of game to childe at this point.
how many times could you attempt to escape this week? how many times would you curse him to hell? how many times would you glare at him today?
he had to find humor in it, or else, he'd lose his mind. after all, there was no easy way to cope with the love of his life hating his guts.
in truth, he had been a bit overbearing the past few days - there was a snowstorm outside and he couldn't allow you to be out in that sort of weather alone.
so, as he stared out the window, looking at the rapidly falling snow, all he could think about was if only something was different. perhaps if the two of you were childhood sweethearts, maybe if the two of you had met before he fell into the abyss, or maybe if the two of you were neighbors.
he, at one point, had gotten so desperate to keep you home that he bent to your will - anything you asked, he did. you never really asked much of him, though...
well, unless telling him to go away was a question.
he was so busy thinking of all the "what ifs" that he didn't notice you running past the window and into the snowy woods.
well, he did, but it just didn't click for him at the moment.
and when it did click? he was out the door, tugging his coat on, not even bothering to shut it behind himself.
"c'mon, (y/n), now is not the time for this!" he called out, watching as you ran around a tree and seemingly "disappeared."
he knew you too well. you expected him to run around the tree to look for you, but he wouldn't; he watched as you emerged from the other side of the tree and pulled you into his open arms.
you can't use the same trick twice on him.
he held you against his chest - he didn't mind that you were nudging at his chest, trying to get away from him. "c'mon, it's pretty cold out here. I'll make you tea when we get back inside."
"no! im not going back!" you nudged harder at his chest, trying to get out of his hold.
"I said we're going back in. we really need to talk ab-"
"there's nothing to talk about! you're not normal and i won't love you!"
he thought had heard it all from you, so, hearing this wasn't anything new, but, what was new was hearing you say:
"if you wanted me to love you, maybe you should've been normal," you paused, and childe's hold on you loosened, his arms going slack at his sides and he looked down at you, "if you didn't take me away... and maybe if you acted like a normal person from the start-"
once again, you paused and took a step back away from him. childe didn't want to hear what you were going to say, even as he imagined what you might say, his chest ached... he wouldn't be able to handle it, "(y/n), let's just go in, okay? i don't want to hear it from you."
"- i could've loved you."
oh, it hurt so badly.
childe tried so hard to be unbothered, so, why was he so hurt from hearing this? he loved you, and he's tried everything to make you understand just how much he loved you, and now you say that you'll never love him.
it hurt, of course, but he's come so far.
childe strongly believes that people can change, anyway. so, he'd keep trying his absolute hardest for you until you buckled and confessed that you loved him back.
but, in the meantime...
"you can still love me," he said, with a weak smile, "I've been good to you, (y/n) and I think I deserve some credit for being so patient, right?"
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ironmanstan · 2 years
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desperate to be a man in art forced to be a woman in stem
#applied 2 school have to submit port in february if i dont get in 2 either art school we all go down with me capiche#if i hv to live breathe eat biology and it is not a specific mycology branch of study or at least some marine bio specific .. .#i will ***** ****** ** *** **** <- crossword of the day i wont b this uncensored sewerslidal on main even as a joke#my dad is crazy and is like omg u should be horticulturalist <3 bro i do not want to work in fuckign gardens forever#in this country ??? where it snows HALF THE YEAR ???#i want to study mushrooms or ocean preservation or die and will i make money doing that here FUCK NO so its not even worth it#like that would be my side job ... to fucking ART. kys kys kys kys you expect me to get married have kids AND do THAT SHIT#i feel like. the thing that makes me mad#honest to god#at the end of it all#is that most people see art as like a fun thing to do on the side to them its just a hobby#and thats great for them i love that truly /gen#but like im not that#and everyone acts like i am that and i can just put it down and pick it up and if i dont get in oh just go for stem and do art on the side#like no . i dont fuckign want to. i dont care if i live at home forever. w how fucking atrocious i function i probably fuckn will anyway#like i dont know . it is a part of me. if i am not drawing then i am not ok. when i was at my lowest i drew like 10 things that year#so then its like u want me to take myself and compartmentalize me. u want me to take the things i enjoy and like#choose which one to embody for my life and i throw away bio for the sake of the one i like the most but NOOO thats WRONGGG#and then i have to deal with ummm yeah ok we will support you doing art ig (but also im not gonna help u figure out apps#(and also every chance i get im going to point out how u should apply for stem anyway instead of being interested in what u-#actually wanna do with your life and what ur goals and plans are#(not because i dont believe in you or respect your feelings at all and dont see you as a person and not a puppet haha noooo)#like fuckign hell i am a WHOLE person im not a bunch of little bits and pieces to split into whats important LOOK AT ME im the WHOLE#i feel angry bc i know ive done a lot this year and i should b proud of myself but at every single turn i have to like#fight to keep myself together through everything because nobody else ever does and maybe never will. and i cant see the good ever#and it leaves me exhausted and out of my body dissociating and living faster than i want#bc i can never focus on anything except whats ahead and coming bc i have to always prepare for something or someone to hurt me#from the bottom of my heart i hope this time next year im happy#m happy now dnt get me wrong. im stressed as shit but i havent been this ok since i was like 10 honest 2 god. but i hope it lasts for once#thats the real thing haha. thats how i know i got brain issues bc everything in theory is just fine rn
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angelicblondie · 1 month
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jj x doll!reader ~ cockwarming with jayj <3 (MDNI)
warning ~ public sexual contact
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the waves crashed against the shore, and seagulls gawked in the distance, creating the perfect ambience for jjs and your beach day.
the two of you had woken up, legs tangled together in the thin sheets of the bedroom in the chateau, where you crashed the night before. you had woken up to jj smothering kisses all over you, which had caused you to giggle hysterically.
"nooo, jayj, lemme wake up."
"'fraid I cant, lil' miss. gotta get all a'dis cuteness agression out 'fore i explode,"
from there you had sauntered out into the main area, seeing john b already up. he took in your appearances - you, dressed in only jjs shirt and covered in red and purple hickies, and jj, shirtless with his lips swollen, covered in similar bruises to yours, except all along his torso. john b sighed loudly, used to the two of you like this.
"swear one of these days i'm bannin you from sleepin' over," he mumbled the empty threat under his breath.
after eating a light breakfast, the two of you got dressed in your bathing suits (you in a light pink bikini, jj in navy swim shorts), and grabbed your beach bag, heading towards the sand.
the two of you laid in the sun whilst your mini speaker lowly played music coming from a playlist the two of you made, combining you music tastes (considering they were vastly different). with sunglasses perched on your noses, the sun browned your skins, giving you both caramel tans.
this was one of your favorite things about jj being your boyfriend - he would indulge in your tanning needs, and even join in, since he was the last person to go on n' on about how it would give you skin cancer.
you sighed contently, feeling a peace. you flipped around on your back, brushing your hair to one side and looking at jj on your other, squinting through your glasses as you sent him a sweet smile. "havin' fun?"
"oh yeah, doll. best day I've had in years."
you giggle, the sound of travis scotts, "drugs you should try it" (jjs suggestion, of course) playing faintly in the background. "m'glad."
it didn't take long for you to get needy though - and who could balme you? seeing jjs glistening abs on full display was enough to wet your bikini bottoms and pull attention to the fluttering in your core. you turnaround on your elbows, squinting at him through you sunglasses.
"hey jayj?" jj slowly turned, knowing you were up to something by the tone of your voice.
thats how you ended up sat on jjs lap on the foldout chair behind the towels, slowly sinking onto his dick.
"jayj," you whine, squirming on top of him.
"shhh, its ok mama, y'can take it. niiiice and slow," he reasures, his hands squeezing on your hips, fighting literal demons to not just shove you on. the only thing that covered you too was the measly towel jj lazily threw around you.
you bite your lip hard to prevent the noises that threatended to spill out, and you grip his muscialar shoulders to ground yourself.
when you had proposed the idea, you had made jj promise that you wouldnt have actual sex - you just needed to feel him, to temporatily satisfy the fluttering. but now, actuallly feeling eachother, the task felt next to imposible.
you whimper, against you best efforts. "jayj, wan'more," you whine.
"nuh-uh, you only get the dick if your being a good girl. wan me to pull out?" he scolds, thought it was a pretty empty threat, considering there was no way in hell was he gunna pull out
"fuck, n-no, im sorry, i'll be good," your quick to apologize.
jj grunts when you finally reach the bottom and you gasp, leaning over to rest your head in the crook of his neck. jjs breath is held, stomach sucked in as his face scrunches, overwhelmed by the pleasure. he releases a shaky breath, hyperaware of how tight you felt around him, your little pussy puslating.
"shit, think i might bust in you." jj chuckles breathlessly.
"no, jayj, dont even think about it," you scold weakly, trying not to move. honestly, although it was hard at first, you were actually enjoyed him being in you in not a super sexual sense. it felt really intimate, and kind of sweet.
though, nothing was sweet about the way you were clenching around him, every so often wiggling to adjust in a position that was less painful for your knees. jjs hands rubbed down your back, and you could feel the rise and fall of his chest. you wondered if the two of you looked suspicious, but you decided that you didnt care.
eventually, you forced yourself to detach from him, and the two of you spent the rest of the day going back and forth from the water to your towls, baking in the sun. and of course, as soon as you were alone, you fucked in the twinky, eager to get your hands on each other as soon as possible. with the smell of salt lingering, and the feeling of grainy sand in the crevices of your body, you two knew it was the perfect end to the perfect day.
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