#and the fact that jonathan has ALWAYS been supportive of him

[stevie-petey]

episode eight: the upside down

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends? “Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused.  “Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!” “We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted. Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

summary: drinking game time ! take a shot every time jonathan tries ditching you or every time you almost die at the byers house, you find out that steve really is an athlete and tbh it's hot, but you know what's even hotter ? saving hawkins and reaching a tentative compromise with steve after he loans you $5 for snacks. after, jonathan makes a promise you really hope he can keep.

rating: general, cursing and slight scary violence

warnings: violence, use of fire and weapons, guns, use of fem!reader and use of y/n, slight mentions of blood and death

words: 13.7k

before you swing in: the final chapter ,,, my heart </3 please enjoy my child, i put so much into this chapter. action scenes scare me, they're hard and i'm weak, so i hope this lives up to everything you guys wanted n more ;) i cannot believe we're at the end (but i do have another chapter planned that's set in season 1, so shhhh). thank you so so so much for all your support. i never thought this silly lil fic would get that much attention, but i'm insanely flattered and grateful for each and every one of y'all. i'm so proud of what i've created and you guys are my beloveds ,,, anyways, enjoy !!!

-

You almost miss Jonathan and Nancy sneaking off. 

You had been explaining a comic book that had been in your bag to El when you noticed a shift in your periphery. Turning your head, you see Jonathan stand, offer Nancy his hand to help her up, and then walk towards the main doors together. 

What the fuck. 

“They wouldn’t dare…” You excuse yourself and run out the gym and into the hallway to follow them, absolutely furious. You’re so sick of their bullshit, of Jonathan’s bullshit and putting Nancy first. This isn’t even a petty jealousy thing, this is about the years of friendship between the two of you that has just suddenly disappeared within a damn week all due to circumstances completely out of your control. 

The slam of the main door is the only warning Jonathan gets before you’re yanking him by his coat and flinging him back, forcing him to look at you. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You’ve never, ever yelled at him like this before. Not even earlier this week when he’d given you that bullshit apology after screaming at you for being in his room, for saying the two of you weren’t family. You didn’t yell at him for hiding Nancy’s pictures from you, for going off without you to find the monster. Despite everything, you’ve never been this cruel to him, even if he may have deserved it at times.

Jonathan’s wide eyes stare down at your hand that’s still clutched around his coat, frightened. “Bug, we were just–”

“Just what? Sneaking off without me?”

“It’s not like that, Y/N.” Nancy now steps in, her hands held up as if you’re some rabid dog she wants to calm down. “We just figured we’d help Joyce and Hopper.”

“‘We’? Are you fucking kidding me? You two talked about this, had an entire conversation, and still somehow came to the conclusion that ditching me was a great fucking idea?” You scoff, deeply hurt by the fact that the two of them had an entire conversation without thinking to include you in it. 

“Bug, can we talk about this one on one?” Jonathan asks, his voice lowered. You can see the genuine upset in his eyes and for a moment your grip on him lessens, but then you see Nancy behind him and your anger only returns. 

“No, we can discuss this right here.” 

He sighs and tries to grab the hand not clutching his coat, but you slap it away. “Bug–”

“You’ve lost that privilege.” 

“Bug–I mean, Y/N,” His voice falters. “Look, my mom and Hopper are out there right now trying to find Will while that monster is still out. Nance and I… We want to finish what we started.” 

“Without me?” You don’t mean for it to happen, but your voice catches at the end.

Jonathan’s gaze softens and this time he succeeds in grabbing your hand. You let go of him and allow him to pull you in, weak against him as always. “I’m doing this to protect them, to protect you, Y/N. I’m always trying to protect you. You know that, right?”

You used to think that you did, but now? You’re not so sure, and it terrifies you. 

Nancy has stepped away from the conversation, now kicking at rocks while you’re with Jonathan, and you can’t help but think about how wrong all of this feels. 

Throughout this entire week it’s felt like someone has given you a photo of Jonathan, smeared its lines and edges, removed his moles and his crooked smile and made it neater, altered so that if you squint you can see the boy you grew up with underneath it all… But it’s fuzzy, almost too unclear to really see. 

Now he’s standing in front of you, his smile once more crooked and cunning and his moles faded underneath the moonlight and for a second you can see him. There he is, clear and untouched and him in a way that’s never quite been yours.

“I know,” you tell him. “But how many more times do you expect me to forgive you for lying and ditching me? If you want to protect me, you need to talk to me.”

Jonathan winces. “I know, I know it sounds stupid and I know I’ve fucked up more than enough this week, I just get caught up in wanting to make sure you’re safe. It’d kill me if I let anything happen to you… I just, I can’t lose you, bug.”

“So pushing me away is your grand plan of keeping me?”

“I’ve always been an idiot.” He manages a smile, and you can’t help but laugh. 

“That’s true, but if you attempt to ditch me one more time I swear to god I’ll pour tar all over your car.”

The boy laughs and for a brief moment everything feels okay again, but it doesn’t last very long. “In our defense, we figured you’d be better off with the kids since you’re not really a fighter, ya know?” 

You drop his hand. “Excuse me?” 

Jonathan’s smile is gone. “What?”

“I’m not really a fighter? You’re kidding, right?”

“Hey, no I didn’t mean it like that–” Jonathan fumbles over his words, clearly taken aback by your sudden mood change. 

You step away from him. “How many times did I defend you against Lonnie? Better yet, remind me how we became friends in the first place. Wasn’t it because I threw milk at a bunch of idiots bullying you? Huh?”

“Y/N–”

“God, I can’t believe I almost let you get away with it again! I mean, do you even hear the bullshit that comes out of your mouth?” You deepen your voice, now doing a poor impersonation of him. “‘Hey, bug! You know I love you, right? Cool! Now, I’m gonna go do fuck all and ignore you and ditch you and then somehow turn it into me being a good guy because duh! I can never do any wrong!’”

“Please, just–”

“Did I get it right? It was a pretty good impersonation in my opinion. I mean, I am the one who has had to deal with this shit all fucking week. I think I'm an expert on this topic now.” 

Jonathan looks pained but you don’t fucking care anymore. You’ve reached your limit, you’re sick and tired of being treated like some delicate creature that’s incapable of taking care of itself. You literally slapped Tommy Hagan this afternoon in order to help Jonathan, yet here he is basically calling you weak. 

And yet Nancy is the fighter. She’s the one who gets to go along on the adventure while you’re sidelined because for some damn reason you’re always the second option. Never taking matters into your own hands, always the one left behind to clean up the mess and take care of those also discarded. 

You’re sick of it. 

You step closer to Jonathan again, so that you’re nose to nose, and whisper, “I’m tired of never being good enough.” 

And with that, you reach into his coat and snatch up his keys, a game you’ve always played with him but now has turned into a bitter taste in your mouth, and run back into the gym. Someone has to inform the kids of the plan, make sure they’ll be okay on their own. 

Dustin sees you approach and smiles, but when he notices the angry pace in your steps, he frowns. “Uh oh.”

“Yeah, uh oh.” 

“Jonathan again?”

You nod, still too angry to trust your words. “Yeah.” 

He notices the keys in your hand. “Where are you going?”

Mike and Lucas look over now, curious as to what’s happening. 

You sigh. “I’m going with Nancy and Jonathan to the Byers house, we’re going to kill the monster.” 

“Why the hell are you going?” Dustin exclaims while Mike shoutes “sick!” and Lucas mumbles “great, alone again”. El remains quiet, still resting. 

You flick your brother’s hat. “I have to, Dustin.”

“For Jonathan?” He shakes his head. “I like him, but aren’t you mad at him right now?”

“Is it just me, or is she always mad at him these days?” Mike whispers over to Lucas, who simply shrugs. 

“Girls, man.” 

You ignore them and focus on Dustin. “It doesn’t matter. He needs my help, and no one in the party gets left behind. Remember?”

“Y/N–”

“I love you,” you kiss the top of his head. “I promise I’ll be safe, just be careful, okay? I’m putting you in charge, so don’t let me down. If everything goes according to plan, I’ll see you in a few hours tops!”

Dustin tries to argue some more, but you quickly run back outside before he can get another word in. You feel horrible leaving him behind, but you know this is the right decision. If you can kill the monster, there’s less of a chance of the kids or Joyce and Hopper getting hurt. Jonathan and Nancy may be fine on their own, but there’s always power in numbers and they’ll need all the help they can get. 

You just… you have to help. You know this is what you’re supposed to be doing, even if it pains you to do so. Dustin and the kids are smart; as long as they stay at the school, they’ll be fine. 

In theory, that is.

Nancy and Jonathan are waiting for you outside. You push past them and march towards Jonathan’s care; they awkwardly follow after you. You unlock it, throw yourself into the backseat, and promptly dig through your backpack to make sure you have everything. 

The two teens get in a few minutes after you. Not one word is spoken as Jonathan starts the car and the three of you drive off, leaving Hawkins Middle behind. 

– 

You thought the car ride with Nancy and Jonathan from the funeral home had been tense, but this one? Downright painful. 

Jonathan has a tight grip on the steering wheel and keeps trying to catch your eye through the rearview mirror but you avoid his gaze. You’ve spent the last five minutes arranging and rearranging your backpack to give you something to do while Nancy has tried three times to make conversation to make this car ride bearable. 

“El seems nice.” 

“You said four words to her, Nancy.” You retort, switching open your switchblade once more to watch the moonlight dance off of its blades. 

“Right.” 

Nancy shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat. You know she realizes she’s once again upset the balance in your relationship with Jonathan. It was only an hour ago that she tried getting you to admit your feelings for him before convincing the boy to up and leave you. Sure, Jonathan made his own decision in the end, but damn. She could’ve at least pretended to want you around. 

She notices your knives and tries to spark conversation again. “I love the color of the handle, it’s beautiful.” 

“Thanks,” you switch the blades closed and sit up in your seat. “Anyways, you geniuses have a plan or were you just counting on ditching me and winging it from there?”

“Y/N–”

“No, Nancy. I insist, let’s talk about a plan. We’re here to kill a monster, right?”

She closes her mouth and frowns, turning to Jonathan for help, but he’s no use. He’s busy tapping his fingers against the wheel and praying that the world will just swallow him up whole. Too bad for him you’re a stubborn pain in the ass and would simply pluck him back up so you can torture him some more. 

Nancy sighs. “Well, Jonathan and I were thinking we use the supplies we got earlier and lure the monster to his place, then we kill it.” 

“Awesome plan, guys!” You say, your voice dripping with sickly sweetness that leaves them both feeling even more uncomfortable. “But may I suggest some actual details or shall we just bank off of this wonderfully dull and vague plan?” 

“Sure, Y/N. Tell us what you had in mind.” Nancy rubs her face tiredly, knowing she deserves this. 

“Great! I’m assuming we’re luring the monster with blood?” They nod at you, so you continue. “Okay, so before we lure it I think we should completely booby-trap Jonathan’s house. Nail the bear trap down onto the floor, make sure the floor is cleared of anything that could trip us up. Then, once we’ve got the house secured, we knick ourselves to draw some blood and pray to whatever god is up there that we can kill the thing.” 

You pause for a moment, remembering how all the Christmas lights had been unscrewed by Joyce earlier. “The lights, we need to fix them. The monster communicates through the lights so if we have them, then we can track it.”

“That all sounds great, bug.” Jonathan finally speaks up, ass kissing. 

“Thanks, pal. Still don’t have the bug privilege back, but I’m sure you simply forgot.” 

He gulps, once more going back to being silent as he drives you and Nancy to his house. 

Nancy again tries to diffuse the tension. “How do we even kill the monster though? I mean, will my bullets be enough?”

“I have this idea, but it’s… well, it’s out there.” You bite your lip, now feeling your cocky demeanor slipping. “If we can safely set fire to it, I think that’s our best bet.”

“Fire?” Jonathan exclaims, but Nancy shushes him. 

“I think you’re right.” 

“Y/N, I know you’re mad at me but do we really have to set fire to my house–”

Now it’s your turn to shush Jonathan. “This isn’t about that. I wouldn’t burn your house down, I already told you I’d just pour tar on your car whenever I get the chance. For now, I really do think the best thing to do is burn the monster alive. In every horror movie and book, fire always gets the job done.” 

Despite herself, Nancy lets out a soft chuckle as Jonathan parks the car, now at his house. “She’s right, Jonathan. And who burns down houses these days? Tar really is the best form of revenge.” 

“I’m flattered, Wheeler. At the rate you’re going, you’ll be off my shitlist in no time.” You tell her, patting her on the shoulder before getting out of the car. You quickly open up the trunk and gather the monster hunting supplies while Jonathan and Nancy take their time getting out. 

You let yourself into the Byers home using your own key to the place. It’s been nestled in between the key to your house and the spare key to Jonathan’s car on your keychain for a few years now. 

The first thing you get started on are the lights. There’s hundreds of them to get through, but you drop your supplies and begin screwing them in one by one. Nancy and Jonathan come in soon after and silently begin to help. 

No conversation is made besides the necessary comments about the prep work. You’re all too focused on the possibility of what could happen next; the danger of the situation has finally set in. After the lights have all been fixed, you instruct Jonathan to begin nailing the bear trap down while you and Nancy discuss where to pour the gasoline. You both agree to make a path from the living room to Will’s room. 

As Nancy pours the gasoline, you follow behind her and pick up any flammables. You weren't lying to Jonathan earlier, you really don’t want to burn his house down. While the house is wrecked, it’s still a home despite everything that’s happened in it. You practically grew up within its walls, you’d do anything to keep it as protected as possible. 

When you’re done, you watch Nancy load her gun. A shiver runs down our spine; she looks at ease with it, which you figure should be reassuring, but the gravity of everything leaves you feeling on edge. You leave her alone and walk into the kitchen where Jonathan is, now hammering a ton of nails into his bat. 

You begin to sharpen your blades next to him, still finding that you only feel secure by his side. The rhythmic sound of his hammering calms you, in a sense. It serves as a distraction. You know you insisted on coming, you don’t regret it and you know you’re stronger than everyone seems to give you credit for, but you’re also terrified. This isn’t just some adventure in the woods; this could kill the ones you love dearly. 

Once you’re both done preparing your weapons, the two of you walk to Will’s room and rig up a simple snare. Jonathan grabs a yo-yo and you pull up a chair to set it on. The idea is that when the string gets pulled, it’ll alert you that the monster has sprung the bear trap. It’s not the most efficient warning system, but it’ll have to do. 

The last thing to do is set the bear trap, which takes all three of you to achieve. Jonathan and Nancy hold down the edges with their body weight and you very carefully set the trap with your hand. You shake a bit as you do so, but you force your nerves down. You remind yourself that Jonathan thinks you’re too weak, too cowardly, you have to prove him wrong. 

When the bear trap clicks into place, you let out a harsh exhale and sink against the wall, your heart still pounding. Jonathan and Nancy copy you and the three of you sit in silence. You’re still shaking a bit, and Jonathan is next to you just as tense, but for the first time since you’ve met him you can’t reach out to grab his hand to steady yourself. He’s too far, both literally and figuratively. Even with him next to you, you couldn’t be more far apart. 

In the back of your mind, you hope the kids are alright. Hopefully they’re having a better night than you currently are. 

“C’mon,” you say after a few minutes, getting up to walk over to the living room. “We’ve done all we can, now we just have to draw some blood and be the prettiest bait in Hawkins.”

– 

Nancy and Jonathan decide to cut the palm of their hands, but you respectfully would rather die than have a matching scar with them. The idea makes you so uncomfortable you visibly cringe when Jonathan tells you the idea. “Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll find somewhere else to cut.” 

He looks hurt by what you’ve said but doesn’t voice it. Instead, the three of you stand in the living room in a triangle facing each other and he begins reciting the plan. “Remember…”

Nancy goes first. “Straight into Will’s room and–” 

“Don’t step on the trap.” You finish.

Jonathan nods. “And then?”

“Wait for the yo-yo to move.” The girl says. 

“Then…” Jonathan flicks the lighter on.

You whistle low. “Let there be light…” 

“Right. Light.” The boy nods again. “Alright, we ready?”

“Ready.”

“Scar time.” 

Jonathan and Nancy bring their hands up and place their knives flat against their palms. You roll up your sleeve and place your own knife against the upper part of your arm, just below your shoulder, and take a deep breath. 

“On three,” Jonathan says. He begins counting and you all can’t seem to stop shaking. He senses your unease and looks up at you and Nancy. “You guys don’t have to do this.”

Nancy glares at him, her own voice shaky. “Jonathan, stop talking.”

You nod. “Yeah, what she said.”

Jonathan tries to argue, but Nancy squeezes her eyes shut and yells, “Three!”

You close your own eyes and slice at your arm, the pain immediate. You gasp out, never having been good with pain, but you know you have to do this for Will. The blood trails down your arm, dripping from your elbow onto the ground, and you watch as blood from Jonathan’s and Nancy’s own cuts falls onto the ground too. 

Well, at least it’ll be an easy scar to hide compared to theirs. 

“Fuck, that stings.” You say to break the silence, and Nancy nods her head in agreement. 

“Not the most pleasant feeling.” 

Jonathan guides the two of you over to the couch and grabs the first aid kit that you had prepared on the coffee table. He sits in the middle, leaving room for both you and Nancy on each side of him, but you’re still pissed at him and opt to sit on the floor in front of the couch.

Nancy begins to patch up his wound, and it takes everything within you not to reach over and help him yourself. It feels unnatural to watch someone else taking care of him, but the space between you still feels too vast to cross. 

You patch up your own cut while the two of them talk quietly. You wind a bandage tight around your arm, ensuring you won’t bleed through, and Jonathan watches above you with guilt in his eyes. Nancy is trying to reassure him that everything will be okay, but as he watches you struggle to tie the bandage he wonders if he’s fucked up more than just your friendship.

“Bug, let me help with that.” He leans down and ties your bandage before you can stop him. 

You glare at him, still having not said anything to Jonathan besides what was needed for preparation. Nancy distracts herself by cleaning up around his cut and your stomach twists into knots. This is all so miserable. 

“Y/N, I know you’re upset with me and you can go whenever. I won’t blame you, you’ve done enough for me.” Jonathan says, trying to catch your eye. 

You turn away and inspect your bandage, still reeling over the fact that he tied it for you. “I’m here for Will, and only Will.”

“Y/N…” There’s a hurt in his voice that almost makes you turn around to throw your arms around his neck and whisper a million apologies to him. To tell him everything, that you love him and that you’d do anything for him and that’s why you’re so terrified of how you feel. You know you’d burn yourself up if it meant he’d be taken care of, if it meant he was safe and happy and far away from anything that could harm him. You know you’d use up everything within you to love him. 

Instead, you remain silent.

After getting no response from you, Jonathan clears his throat and begins to say something about how the lights will serve as an alarm for the monster, trying to pretend that everything is okay, but he’s cut off by a sudden pounding on the door.

You all jump and your fingers tighten around your switchblade, ready to open it. As your heart pounds you think of all the possible ways the plan could go wrong. When you’re on possibility number twelve, a voice calls through the door. 

“Jonathan?”

“Is that… Steve?” You say out loud, in complete disbelief. 

Steve continues to pound on the door. “Are you there, man? It’s… It’s Steve! Listen, I just wanna talk!”

You’re the first to react, standing up to run over to the door. You fling it open and step outside, making sure Steve won’t be able to see inside the house. When he sees you, he stumbles back a bit. “Henderson?”

His face is still bleeding from earlier and his hair is a mess, and yet there’s a softness to him that you haven’t seen before with him. “Steve, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Can I just talk to Jonathan real quick? I just… I want to apologize about what happened earlier, see if we can maybe–” His eyes land on your bandaged arm. You curse and roll down your sleeve, feeling like an idiot for forgetting to hide the wound before going outside. 

Steve reaches out to touch it, a hint of worry on his face and his voice is now full of concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

You shiver at his touch, it’s gentle as he skims along the bandage and inspects it for any other problems. You pull away, now hiding the wound. “It’s nothing, but you should really go.”

“I want to help you, Y/N. Do you need me to get you anything?” His face is so full of worry for you that it makes you ache. Then a thought occurs to him. “Wait, where’s Byers? Why isn’t he here to help you?”

You’re about to make up a lie, but Nancy flings the door open. “Steve, listen to me.”

He looks between the two of you in complete shock. “Okay, what–”

“You need to leave.” Nancy orders.

Steve looks at you. “I’m not trying to start anything, okay?”

“I know, but–” You get cut off by Nancy.

“I don’t care about that. You need to leave.”

Steve begins to plead with the girl and you step away a bit, not wanting to intrude. You feel bad for him, he looks so beat down by what’s happened today and you suppose that you can’t really blame him. After spending maybe a total of ten hours with Nancy and Jonathan, you also have come close to losing your mind. 

If you were with Jonathan, if you truly had him, you’d react the same as Steve. Begging for the girl he loves to listen to him, to give him another chance with the promise of him changing. 

“I just want to make things right.” Steve says, impressing you with his vulnerability. He’s openly admitting to his mistakes and taking accountability mere hours after the situation has occurred, leaving you both in awe of him and also saddened for him. He loves Nancy more than anything, you can hear it in his voice. 

He deserves better. 

As you’re thinking this, you see his eyes flicker down towards Nancy’s bandaged hand and his brows furrow. “What happened to your hand? Is that blood?” His eyes now flicker over to you again. “Why are you both hurt?”

“We’re clumsy?” You say as Nancy yanks her hand away from Steve.

“It was an accident.” She agrees. 

Steve looks between the two of you, now sensing that something else is wrong. “What’s going on?” 

“Nothing!” Nancy insists, but something in Steve’s demeanor shifts. 

“Wait a second, did he do this to you? To Y/N?” His once soft voice is now filled with anger and you step in front of him. 

“Steve, it wasn’t Jonathan. You need to go, I promise I’ll explain everything later–” 

He grabs you by your side and gently moves you so that he can get past and shove through the door. Nancy yells at him to stop and tries to push him out, but she’s useless against his strength. When he manages to break in, he stumbles inside and scans over the house. 

“Shit!” You follow after him, your brain running a million miles a second trying to figure out how to explain everything to him. 

“What the fuck?” Steve mumbles, eyeing the bat with nails in it. “Y/N, what’s going on here?”

He’s looking to you for reassurance and you guess he assumes that the two of you are allies in this Jonathan and Nancy situation. You really wish you could explain, but Jonathan has grabbed him by the shoulders and is trying to push him outside. The two stumble around for a few seconds and you just helplessly watch. 

“Steve, there’s no time to explain, please just listen to Jonathan and get out of here!” You’re helping Jonathan now, trying to get Steve out the door and away from harm’s reach, but he’s still fighting back confused and lost as ever and you pity him. 

You hear a click and turn around, gasping when you see Nancy holding her gun up to Steve. “Woah, what the fuck Nancy?”

“What! What is going on?” Steve yells, now more panicked than anything else. 

While Jonathan has stepped away, you find yourself standing in front of Steve as if to somehow block the bullet. You can’t let him get hurt, he doesn’t have any part of this, he can still have a normal and happy life if he just leaves now. “Nancy, put the fucking gun down, this isn’t helping!”

Steve pleads with her as well and the two of you scream at the girl to just listen and not swing around loaded weapons, but Nancy remains firm in her stance. “You have five seconds to get out of here. I’m doing this for you.”

“Because holding a gun to his head is any better than telling him the truth?” You exclaim, entirely over the situation. 

As the four of you are arguing, the lights begin to flicker. Steve and Nancy don’t seem to notice, but you do. You look at Jonathan and say your first real words to him in hours. “Jonathan…”

He hears you and he runs over to your side, grabbing your hand as the two of you stand shoulder to shoulder. You feel your heartbeat race and you can feel him shaking beside you. He’s terrified, so are you, but his hand around yours manages to steady you. 

“Nancy!” Jonathan tries to get the girl’s attention, but she’s too busy counting down to hear him. 

He shouts at her again and the lights start to flicker more wildly and you draw your switchblade out, adrenaline coursing through you. It’s time. 

Jonathan yells once more and finally catches Nancy’s attention. “The lights!”

She whips her head around and curses, Jonathan, still tightly holding your hand, tugs you along so that you follow him as he secures his weapons and grabs the bat. “It’s here.”

“What’s here?” Steve is flailing around, utterly lost.

You all ignore him and now stand back to back in a triangle. Nancy holds up her gun, Jonathan wields his bat, and you flick your wrist to bring out your knives. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know!” 

The lights flicker rapidly and you feel overwhelmed. They were supposed to serve as a guide towards the monster, but there's no possible way to see which direction it’ll come from and for a fleeting moment you think you’ve made a huge mistake. 

Steve is still screaming, demanding answers, but you’re too busy scanning your surroundings to offer him some information. “Hello? Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going–”

The roof opens up, cutting Steve off, and you scream as the monster attempts to come down right above you. Jonathan shields you from the fallen debris and you cling onto him in utter fear. This isn’t real. This cannot be happening. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the thing while Jonathan guides you to safety. He brings you to the edge of the living room and holds your face in his hands, forcing you to really look at him for the first time all night. “Listen to me, stay here while I get Nancy.”

He kisses your forehead and then leaves, rushing over to Nancy to pull her away and guide her towards Will’s room. Steve stands next to you, frozen, and it forces you back to reality. The plan, you have to stick to the plan. 

You grab Steve’s hand and yank him so that he follows. The monster has dropped down now, a horrible creature on all fours that opens its gaping mouth to let out a horrible screech that you feel deep within your bones. This is what killed Barb. 

The four of you run to Will’s room and you only just barely have enough time to warn Steve about the bear trap. You look over your shoulder and shout, “Jump!” right as your ankle catches on its chains. 

You fall. Hard. 

Pain sears through your ankle and you try to get up, but any pressure on it sends flames through your entire body and you let out another scream. The monster catches up, looming over you, and you brace for your death. There’s no fucking way you’re getting out of this. 

You squeeze your eyes as the monster stalks close to you, its ugly mouth open and ready to kill you. Jonathan is screaming at you to get up, but Nancy is holding him back from helping. You’re relieved by this, knowing that someone has to be there for Will once this is all done. He’ll need his brother, and Nancy seems to understand this. You catch her eye and nod at her, sending a silent thank you. 

“Bug! No, let go of me! I have to help her, Nancy!” Jonathan’s voice becomes hoarse by how loud he screams, his voice breaking with fear and desperation. 

Then, right before the monster lunges at you, you feel a familiar pair of arms slide underneath your legs and pick you up. “What–”

Steve Harrington has swooped in to save you, picking you up as if you weigh nothing, ever the athlete, and swiftly jumps over the bear trap while screaming his head off. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

You’re so delirious from the pain in your ankle and the adrenaline pumping through your veins that you can’t help but let a laugh escape you. No fucking way is any of this real. Steve Harrington is carrying you bridal style into Will’s bedroom with Jonathan and Nancy as witnesses. 

What a life. 

Once you’re both secured in the room, Steve sets you down gently right as Nancy yells at him to shut up. As soon as Steve lets go of you, Jonathan is at your side and pulls you into a crushing hug. 

“Bug.” He breathes out against your ear, relief heavy. 

“I’m okay.” You tell him, threading your fingers through his hair. He’s shaking harder than ever, and holding onto you as if he’s scared he’ll lose you again. “I’m okay, bee.” 

He pulls away and his hands are all over you, checking everywhere for any other injuries. “Did it hurt you, are you bleeding? There should be a first aid kit–”

You grab his hands and kiss his knuckles, which seems to calm him down a bit. “I’m fine, just twisted my ankle. If you help me up, I’m sure I’ll be able to stand again.” 

Jonathan quickly helps you to your feet and you lean against him for the extra support. While you put on a brave face for Jonathan, you’re terrified out of your fucking mind. You almost died. Jonathan is still holding your hand and he’s looking at you as if seeing you for the first time and you force yourself to look away. It’s the same look from the field days ago, when you thought he’d kiss you. 

You have to focus on what’s at stake.

How the hell are you guys supposed to kill this thing?

The monster screeches, breaking the moment between you and Jonathan, and he flicks his lighter on and forces you to stand behind him. Nancy holds up her gun and you bring your knives closer to your face, Steve standing weaponless behind you. 

You all wait, tense, for the monster. It stalks closer to the room, its awful growls alerting you of its proximity, but it doesn’t appear. 

“What’s it doing?” Nancy asks, frustrated. 

“I don’t know.” You respond, equally as frustrated and scared. 

Another few agonizing seconds pass, and you stare at the yo-yo and hope that it remains still. Then, the lights stop flickering and it becomes quiet. All you can hear is your blood roaring in your ears. 

Nancy looks around. “Do you hear anything?”

“No,” Jonathan shakes his head, inching closer to the door. 

“Wait!” You tug at your still interlocked hands. You pick up his bat that had been thrown on the ground and hand it to him. “Be careful. Please.”

He gives your hand one last squeeze before letting go, accepting the bat.

As Jonathan pokes his head out to see if the monster is outside, Steve bends his head down and whispers in your ear, “Romantic.”

“Shut. Up.” You hit him in the chest, fearfully watching your best friend to make sure he doesn't die. When he motions an all clear, Nancy follows him outside, then you, then Steve. 

The house is silent and your heart sinks when you see that the bear trap has been left untouched. You realize with a horrible gut wrench that the monster is smarter than the three of you had anticipated. 

So much for your plan, then.

“It’s smarter than we thought.” 

“Yeah,” Jonathan agrees with dismay. 

He stalks against the wall towards the living room and you all follow in a single file line. You do your best to stick close to the wall but you limp with every step. Your ankle is definitely out of commission for now. Great. 

All of you are on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It couldn’t have been that easy, there’s no possible way that the monster simply up and left. You enter the living room, which has gotten even more wrecked due the monster. The wallpaper has been torn off of some parts of the wall and you see papers scattered everywhere. 

“Shit…” you mumble, kicking at a shredded wallpaper strip. 

In the corner, Steve has started to hyperventilate and mumble to himself. “This is crazy, this is so crazy, this is fucking crazy.” 

You limp over to him and grab his shoulders, making him face you. “Steve, hey. It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Y/N, what the hell just happened?” 

“It’s… complicated. For now, can you trust me that everything will be okay?” 

“Of course I trust you, it’s just…” He nods, his eyes softening. You lessen your hold on him and give him a smile, he seems to be calming down. Then, he looks around the room and seemingly remembers where he is. “This is crazy!” 

Steve lunges for the phone on the wall and tries to call for help. 

You stumble after him, the pain in your ankle slowing you down. “Steve, wait–”

Nancy gets to him first, grabbing the phone out of his hand and throwing it across the room. He looks at her, shocked. “What are you doing? Are you insane?”

“It’s going to come back!” Nancy yells at him, and you wince at the way she treats him. You know Steve will only listen to her, but she could at least be nicer about the whole situation. The three of you have had some time to process everything happening, Steve was thrown into the deep end. 

“You could be a little nicer,” you mumble, and Nancy sends you a glare. You raise your hands up in surrender. “Sorry.” 

“Steve, you need to leave. Right now.”

He looks so overwhelmed and you give him a pitying look. He stares at you, reminiscent of the way he looked at you earlier in the alley, silently begging you to say something, anything, but again you can only shake your head at him. You won’t force him to stay, it wouldn’t be fair.

“Y/N, please…” He tries one more time to get you on his side, but you can’t. Frustrated by your lack of response, Steve groans. “Fuck it!” 

He runs out the door. 

You’ll admit that you’re a bit disappointed, but you also understand. Who in their right mind would stay? 

You and Nancy share a look before the lights begin to flicker again. Dread fills you. “Fuck…”

Jonathan is back by your side and he and Nancy again form a triangle with you, all your backs pressed together as you desperately try to locate the monster. You all stumble in a circle, searching for any sign of the thing, but there’s nothing. 

“Where is it?” Nancy gasps out.

“Just fucking show yourself!” You shout, just wanting this all to be over with. Your body is drained from living in a state of fear for so long. 

“Come on you son of a bitch!” Jonathan echoes your taunts. 

Suddenly the lights turn off and you’re left alone in complete darkness. Faintly you can hear the monster’s familiar growl approaching from behind you. The hair on the back of your neck stands up, the air stands still. It’s back. Before you can react, it pounces on Jonathan. 

“Jonathan!” You scream alongside Nancy. Desperation takes over you and before you can even process what’s happening, you ignore the pain in your ankle and jump onto its back, stabbing repeatedly at it. 

Your blades only bounce off of its thick skin and the monster struggles to get you off. You hold on as tight as you can, shouting and kicking at it so that it can’t hurt him, but then it opens its mouth and for a horrifying moment you’re afraid that Jonathan will die.

“No!” You scream even louder than before and double down on your effort, stabbing and slashing as much as you possibly can to try and create some damage, but your arms are starting to ache and your ankle now feels like it’s on fire. 

“Nancy, its skin is too thick!” You sob out, nearing complete exhaustion. Then, just as you’re about to collapse from exhaustion, gunshots fill the room. 

Nancy begins to shoot at the monster and with the help of your blades, the two of you manage to pierce its skin, but even then the damage is minimal. It’s not enough, it won’t be enough. Tears stream down your face and the monster only gets closer to Jonathan, so you do the only thing you can think of: you crawl onto the top of its body and stab at its mouth. 

The monster lets out a blood curdling scream and flings you off of its back. You go flying across the room and land against the wall with a groan. All the air has been knocked out of you and your ribs are definitely going to be bruised tomorrow. Every part of you aches, but you manage to lift your head up and blearily process the monster now approaching Nancy as she continues to shoot at it, but it remains unphased. 

You crawl over to Jonathan, who is still laying on the ground. He’s motionless, and you fight everything within you not to break down and sob. You have to keep going, he has to be alive. As you reach Jonathan and frantically check for a pulse, the monster has now cornered Nancy and her gun seems to be out of bullets.

It’s over. You know it is. 

Right as you’ve accepted your fate, a screaming Steve Harrington wielding Jonathan’s bat once again manages to save the day. 

He hits the monster with the bat, effectively saving Nancy and you’re so impressed with his batting skills that you almost find him attractive with how easily he hits and dodges the monster. However, you file those thoughts away for later and finally manage to wake Jonathan up. He startles with a gasp and you check over his chest, scared he may have gotten pierced by the monster’s claws. 

“I’m fine, we need to help.”

You help each other up and you have to lean heavily against him due to your ankle. You bull riding the monster has only made the sprain worse; you’re too afraid to look down and see the damage that’s been done. 

As the two of you hobble over to Nancy, Jonathan looks at you. “Is Harrington really here right now?”

“Yes.”

“Lovely.”

Steve manages to lure the monster closer and closer to the bear trap and you watch him in awe. He’s quick footed and so sure of himself, the complete opposite of the boy from only ten minutes ago who had run out of the house screaming his head off. Now, Steve is swift with his hits and even twirls the bat in his hand to show off. The small act causes you to smile despite the horrible circumstances. 

By the time you and Jonathan are up and recovered, Steve has successfully led the monster straight into the trap. It clamps around the monster’s foot and it screeches, flailing around in the trap. Steve still has his bat held up, now frantically looking over to everyone else. “He’s in the trap! He’s stuck!”

“Jonathan, now!” Nancy screams, motioning over at him to use his lighter. 

Jonathan listens, using his free hand to flick the lighter on and then drops it onto the ground, right into the trail of gasoline. Immediately the monster goes up in flames, letting out horrible noises. You all shield your faces from the flames and Jonathan pulls you closer into him, still having yet to let go of you; you feel yourself sink into his side as you watch the monster wither away.

“Bug, I have to get the fire extinguisher, do you think you can stand on your own?” Jonathan asks you, his voice soft but urgent. 

You quickly nod and brace yourself for his departure. “Yeah, go.” 

He lets go of you as gently as possible before running to grab the extinguisher. When he has it, he orders everyone to get back and then smothers the flames. It takes a couple seconds, but eventually the fire gets put out, leaving behind an awful stench that makes everyone cough and gag. 

“Holy fuck,” you wheeze out, hunched over. “Burnt monster smells horrible.” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Steve coughs out. 

Nancy covers her face with her jacket. “Where did it go?”

“It has to be dead.” Jonathan pants against the wall, looking like he’s three seconds away from passing out. “It has to be.”

“It fucking better be dead.” You mumble, hobbling closer to see what exactly was left behind. When you get closer and see the giant lump of melted skin all over the bear trap, you gag. “Oh god. Yeah, okay. It’s dead.”

Everyone sighs with relief. 

Then, you notice a Christmas light above you flicker on. Your heart stops, terrified that the monster has somehow survived, but then a second one turns on, then a third, until a path seems to be guiding you towards the living room. 

You all follow, cautious but curious, but these lights don’t feel threatening. There’s an energy to them, a comforting one that leaves you breathless. When you get to the living room, tears form in your eyes, now understanding what this all is. You look at Jonathan, who also seems to be thinking what you are. 

It’s Joyce, you know it is. 

“Mom,” he breathes out. 

You limp over to him and grab his hand. He turns to you, his eyes shining with an appreciation that he only ever has for you. He seems to be drinking you in, as if now realizing just how close the two of you came to dying tonight. You’re doing the same, thankful that he’s alive and standing next to you despite everything. There’s so much the two of you want to say, but as always the words aren’t needed. You understand each other perfectly, the balance between you centered once more. 

You put your head on Jonathan’s shoulder and he brings his hand to your hair to softly stroke it. The two of you stand like that for a second, breathing each other in and enjoying the tenderness after such a miserable day, before you slowly break apart and follow the lights going outside. 

The porch light flickers and Nancy stands next to you, watching it with uncertainty. “Where’s it going?”

“I don’t think it’s the monster.” Jonathan tells her. 

“It’s Will.” You don’t know how you know this, or what makes you feel so certain that you’re right, but somehow you know that you are. Somewhere deep within you, you feel the faint outline of hope flicker. 

A new silence surrounds the four of you at your words, and for once there’s hope between you all. Then, after a minute or so of silence, everyone begins to head back inside. Steve first, then Nancy, and finally Jonathan, leaving you alone with the crisp early winter air.

You take a deep breath, the cold air serving as a reminder that you’re alive. You let it fill your lungs until you can’t breathe in anymore, then you release the air through an exhale and feel your body settle into its exhaustion. This is the first time you’ve had a moment to yourself, so you let the exhaustion weigh upon you like a warm blanket. 

Will is safe, you can feel it. Despite everything, he’s safe and alive. Jonathan is too, still your best friend regardless of all the unspoken words between the two of you. Dustin is at the school with the kids, away from danger. Everything is okay, it’ll be okay. 

You let the moment wash over you, incredibly grateful to be lucky enough to have survived it all. Everyone you love and hold close to you is safe. You didn’t fuck up this time. God, you did it. 

Jonathan comes running out after a while, his face alight with joy and he crashes into you and picks you up to twirl you around. You laugh, loud and freely, and bury your face in his hair as he continues. “Bee, stop! Put me down, you dummy!” 

He does as he’s told, but doesn’t let go of you once your feet are on the ground. “My mom just called, they saved Will. He–he’s in the hospital, he’s okay.” 

You squeal and throw your arms around Jonathan again, squeezing him so hard that you’re afraid you'll hurt him, but he simply laughs and squeezes you just as tight. Tears come again, but this time they’re happy ones, and if it weren’t for your ankle you’d be jumping up and down right now. 

Jonathan’s laughter dies down and he cups your chin around his fingers so that you look up at him. “You did it.” 

“We did it, bug.” You softly push against him. You can’t take all the credit. 

His eyes are shining again, you haven’t seen him this happy in so long, you get lost in it. His face is lit up and his smile is back and you’re so in love with him that it claws against your throat and threatens to spill out in excess.

A beat of silence passes and Jonathan just soaks your presence in. You can’t quite read his face, but for once this doesn’t frighten you. You enjoy it, you relish in the fact that he’s still yours yet now forming into someone new and lovely and wonderful. 

“You never gave up.” He whispers at last, adoration in his voice. 

“Never.” 

“You never left me.” 

“Never.” You breathe out, the word so simple with such heavy weight behind it. 

The moment is so raw, so tender, and Jonathan is giving you that look again, the one that leaves you feeling like the sun itself has settled upon you and kissed your cheek. His eyes flick down to your lips and you smile, taunting him to lean in. He seems to understand, giving you his own teasing smile before leaning in. You lean in as well, every part of you buzzing, and right before your lips touch his, Steve bursts through the door.

“Jonathan, dude, do you have like, any food in the house?” He asks, completely oblivious to what he’s just interrupted. 

You and Jonathan break apart, laughing the tension away. He ducks his head down, clears his throat, and turns to Steve. “Sorry, man. Been a little busy this week for grocery shopping.”

Steve’s eyes bulge out of his head. “Oh shit, right. Sorry, okay. Uh… Well, I’ll be inside, I guess.” 

“We’ll be in shortly.” You tell Steve. You want to be frustrated by his timing, but something tells you that you’ll have all the time in the world to tell Jonathan how you feel. Now just isn’t the time. 

– 

The moment you arrive at the hospital, Jonathan sprints out of the car and straight towards the front desk to find out where Will is. You and Nancy follow behind, figuring you won’t be able to see Will for a while since you’re not blood related, so the two of you wish Jonathan goodbye and head towards the waiting room. 

Steve lags behind, obviously unsure where to go. Nancy immediately walks inside, but you notice his hesitation and nudge his shoulder. “I’m sure that the cut on your eyebrow needs to be looked out. Let’s go sit, okay?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah, sure. Totally. Let’s go sit in a room full of people who probably hate me. No biggie.”

“Either come or don’t.” You shrug. “But the way I see it, you can start mending some metaphorical wounds while you wait in there.”

You don’t wait for Steve to figure out what to do, you know that Dustin is somewhere inside the waiting room and you’re buzzing to see him and the rest of the kids. You hobble inside, still very much in pain due to your injuries, but the moment you see your brother it all fades away. 

He runs into your arms and almost knocks you down with the force. Dustin clings onto you, mumbling over and over again how sorry he is. 

“Hey, wait a second,” you pull him away and crouch down, groaning a bit at the pain. “What are you sorry about? What happened?”

You look around the room and see everyone there. Nancy, Hopper, the kids, Steve, even Nancy’s parents, but there’s someone missing…

“El,” you breathe out. 

Dustin’s lip trembles and he begins to cry. You soothe him, grabbing his hand to bring him over to the seats and sit between him and Mike. Lucas is to the left of Dustin and you can’t help but notice how all the boys have dried tears in their eyes. 

When they’re ready, you have the kids explain what happened, and the more they tell you, the more guilty you feel. You should’ve been there for them, you left them all alone with that monster. You got Will back, and yet you’ve lost El as a result. It seems that no matter what you do, it’ll never quite be enough in the end. 

“It’s not your fault.” You tell Dustin, who still keeps apologizing. It was you who had left him in charge, you’re why El ended up vanquished by the monster. “You did everything you could. I shouldn’t have left you guys all alone, but I’m proud that you all took care of one another, okay?”

He sniffs and nods his head, but you know he doesn’t believe you. All the boys are somber; you know it’ll take time for them to recover. So, you do what you do best, you console them. You hold their hands and rub their backs and offer your spare comics in your bag. You do whatever you can to comfort them, to reassure them that they’re safe now and that no one will hurt them, but the light in their eyes has dimmed. 

They’ll never be the same again. 

And El… she had been so young, you don’t think you’ll ever not feel the heavy weight of guilt whenever you think of her. She had been so sweet and had trusted you. 

You should’ve been there, you wish you could’ve saved her.

Steve watches from his seat across from you. He listens in as you comfort the boys, taking care of them in such a natural way. He admires this softer side of you, one he hasn’t quite seen before. Sure, you’ve always been gentle and sincere, but watching you with the kids is something special in itself. You manage to get them to laugh, you offer them your shoulder to cry or sleep on, and you read aloud to them stories from your comics and Steve finds himself drawn towards your interactions with the kids. 

It’s sweet, something delicate and lovely, and Steve admires everything that you are. When he sees you awkwardly stand up and stumble over to the vending machines in the hall, Steve finds himself following after you. 

-

“Bitch!” You slam the palm of your hand against the vending machine in vain. The bag of chips hangs by the little spiral, taunting you. 

“That’s not a very nice word, Henderson.” 

You turn and see Steve, leaning against the wall with a fond expression. “You stalking me?”

“Nah, just wanted to watch you fight against a vending machine.”

“Ha,” you snort, turning back to the machine. “Unless you can help me get this last chip bag, you’re free to go sit back down.”

You mean it to be a joke, not expecting Steve to actually listen, but he’s at your side within a second. “Step back, let Steve handle her.” 

“What–”

Steve motions for you to move, so you reluctantly do as you’re told. Once you’re out of the way, Steve claps his hands, stretches out his neck, and then begins to aggressively shake the vending machine. 

“That is so not what you’re supposed to do–”

Suddenly the bag drops down from the hook and into the retrieval slot. Steve reaches inside, grabs the bag, and then dangles it in the air. “Tada!” 

You laugh and grab the bag from him. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was impressive.” 

“What can I say? I’m charming like that.” 

“Sure,” you smile at him, neither of you have moved yet. He’s still standing in front of you with that cocky smile on his face that’s slowly started to warm on you. You truly do understand why so many girls have fallen for him. If you ever saw Steve on the street, a stranger passing by, you’d fall a little bit in love with him yourself.

The thought startles you. “Well, uh…”

“Yes?” Steve raises his eyebrows at you, smiling. 

“Thank you for the chips. The kids haven’t eaten anything in hours, so…” You wave the three bags in your arms. “Gotta keep 'em fed.”

“Wait a second, there’s only three bags there. Aren’t you going to eat anything?”

“I only had enough money for the boy’s chips.” You say, feeling suddenly sheepish. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just eat a few pieces from them and wait until we get home.”

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, no.”

You frown at him, confused as he rustles through his jean pocket and pulls out his wallet. “I don’t want your money–”

He doesn’t listen and simply puts the cash into the vending machine and punches in a few numbers. Slowly, one by one, multiple different bags of sweets and chips come falling down within the machine. Once the last one has dropped, Steve bends down and offers the huge stash to you. 

“A feast, on me.” He winks at you and you can’t help but blush. 

“T–thanks, I guess.” You now carefully balance the rest of the snacks in your arms, the mound almost blocking your view. You’re not sure how much Steve just paid, but with all these snacks you and the kids will surely be well fed. 

Steve shrugs, and if you weren’t so tired you’d think the blush on his face was a real one. “It’s the least I can do, all things considered.”

His words give you pause. You know he’s referencing earlier today, back in the alley where fists slammed against skin and he had dragged you away from your best friend, but the memory feels like years ago. So much has happened since then, Steve has saved your life since then. 

“Steve…” Your ankle is starting to sting again from standing for so long, so you adjust your footing and try to figure out what you want to say. “I never got to thank you back at Jonathan’s.”

“Thank me?” His face scrunches in confusion in a sickeningly cute way that it almost distracts you.

“Yes. You saved my life tonight, Steve. I won’t ever forget that.” 

“Oh…There’s no need to thank me. I mean, what are friends for?” Steve freezes and clears his throat. “I mean, shit. We aren’t friends, you keep saying that. Sorry. You know what I mean.”

You know you shouldn’t, but you laugh. Honestly, after everything you’ve been through tonight with Steve, how can he possibly think the two of you aren’t friends?

“Why are you laughing?” Steve mumbles, confused. 

“Sorry,” you wheeze out, still uncontrollably laughing. “It’s just–I mean, dude! We almost died together, of course we’re friends now!”

“We are?” He looks like a little kid on Christmas day being given the gift he’s always wanted.

Your heart warms. “Yes, idiot.”

Steve starts moving around in what you can only guess is a happy dance. “Sweet! Does this mean I get a cool nickname, too?”

“A nickname?” A bag of chips threatens to fall from your arms, but Steve catches it before it can land on the ground and takes a few more snacks off of your hands. 

He readjusts the snacks he now has so that he can carry them easier. “Yeah, I mean. Byers has one, why can’t I?”

You don’t think you’ll ever stop feeling so thrown every time Steve mentions a small detail about you that he’s somehow come to notice. He has a habit of doing that, surprising you by how much he seems to pay attention to you. You thought that no one ever had before, but Steve continues to prove you wrong. 

“I’ll tell ya what,” you begin to walk back towards the waiting room, careful to step carefully to not drop anything or upset your ankle. “Let’s see how this ‘friends’ thing works out, then I’ll decide what nickname fits you best. Deal?”

Steve thinks for a moment and follows. “Hmm. I don’t know, I think I’ll need some type of precaution to make sure you give me a nickname in the end. I want one, Y/N. I’m so serious right now.”

You laugh at his pleading tone. “I can add you to my baking list. Whatever I bake, you’ll get a piece of it. Is that better?”

“God, yes!” Steve punches the air and cheers. 

You’re smiling so much that your face aches. You haven’t felt this light and carefree in so long, you’d almost forgotten what it’s like. The two of you don’t say anything else as you walk back to the waiting room, though Steve seems to slow down so that you don’t hurt your ankle keeping up, though you still let out a few winces and groans.

When you’ve arrived back at your seat, Steve sets down the snacks and runs off without another word. You’re confused by his sudden departure but don’t think much of it. Instead, you wake the boys up and show them your array of snacks, which wakes them up immediately. 

You’re mediating a fight between Mike and Lucas over who gets the bag of Chips Ahoy when a nurse interrupts. “Excuse me, ma’am. This young man over here told me I should come over and check out your ankle?”

The woman smiles and you look past her and see Steve sheepishly waving from his seat across from you. You’re stunned. Had he really gone out of his way to ensure your ankle gets treated?

You shake the thoughts out of your head and inform the woman all she needs to know. You tell her how you’d fallen and what type of pain you feel when you stand up. She inspects the ankle, her fingers cold but kind, and within a few minutes has diagnosed you with a sprained ankle. 

“All you can really do is stay off of it for a few weeks while it heals. I can go and get you some crutches, if you’d like?” She asks, rolling her gloves off and tucking them back into her pocket.

You nod. “If you wouldn’t mind, that’d be great.”

The nurse leaves with the promise of being back soon. In the meantime she instructs you to keep your ankle elevated, so you prop it against the coffee table and wait. You’re annoyed that you even have to have crutches, but then you think of Barb, of El. You’re luckier than you should be. 

– 

After an hour or so, Jonathan opens the door to the waiting room. He spots you and Mike talking softly with each other and whistles over to catch your attention. When Mike looks up, Jonathan nods at him and the boy scrambles out of his seat. 

“Guys! Guys! He’s up, Will is up!” Mike shakes awake Lucas and Dustin, who had been cuddling on the seats fast asleep. “Will’s up!”

Once they’re awake, they quickly follow after Mike and the three boys are gone in an instant, sprinting down the hall towards Will’s room. Clearly they’re eager to see their friend. 

You do your best to get up as fast as possible, but your new crutches serve more as a nuisance rather than an aid. As you struggle to get up, somehow knocking over the mountain of snacks, Steve rushes over. 

He grabs the crutches and offers you his hand. “Here, careful.”

“Thanks,” you awkwardly accept his hand and get up. Jonathan watches from the doorway, a curious look on his face. Nancy does the same from her seat, not saying a word as she watches Steve gently help you navigate the waiting room with your injury. 

Jonathan holds the door open for you and takes over once you’re out the door. He grabs the crutches from Steve and is now the one to hold your hand, balancing you. “I can take it from here, Harrington.”

“Right, yeah.” Steve scratches the back of his head and coughs. “I’ll just… yeah.” 

He heads back inside and you and Jonathan watch as he leaves. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jonathan turns to you. “Are you two friends now or something?”

“We almost died tonight, bee. I think it’s safe to call Steve a friend now.”

Jonathan bites his lip, though there’s a far off look in his eye that leaves you feeling like you’ve missed something in the conversation. “Guess that’s true. Anyways, let’s get you to Will.”

By the time you make it to the room, the boys have swarmed around Will and are telling him everything he’s missed this week. He’s listening eagerly as they’re telling him about El, but when he sees you enter the room, his eyes light up and he tries to sit up. 

“Y/N!” Will calls out, pure excitement in his voice. 

You practically fall over in your haste to get to him. The second you’re close enough, you collapse onto his bed and give him the tightest hug you possibly can without hurting him. He feels so small against you, smaller than he’s ever felt before, and his sunken eyes and pale skin make you want to cry. 

But he’s alive and here and in your arms once again, happy and wonderful and safe. 

“Little bee,” you try not to cry, but tears are thick in your voice. “I missed you.”

Will manages a weak smile and shrugs, trying to play off the gravity of the situation. “Took a little detour home.” 

You laugh and ruffle his hair. “At least you came home, that’s all that matters.”

“Ahem,” Mike obnoxiously clears his throat, effectively ending your moment with Will. “You’re hogging Will, move over.” 

You laugh again and move away, allowing the boys to resume their millions of updates. You maneuver your crutches and walk over to Jonathan, who is standing by the door. He’s looking at the boys and Will with a soft smile on his face and you join him, standing side by side as you watch your boys finally come together again. 

Then, you feel a pair of eyes on you and you turn around. Nancy is leaning against the doorway behind you; she looks frail and distraught. There’s a sadness in her eyes as she watches the kids. You know that watching the boys reunite with their friend must remind her of Barb. She never got her happy reunion. 

You feel awful for the girl, so when her bittersweet smile drops and she turns to leave the room, you nudge Jonathan to make him aware of the situation. He sees her fleeing and begins to follow after her, but he stops. 

“What are you waiting for? Go.” You tell him, knowing it’s for the best. 

He shifts his weight, uncertain. “Are you sure?”

You’re not sure how to decipher the hidden meanings underneath those three words, but you find that you’re exhausted trying to keep reading between the lines. The feelings you’ve kept buried bubble to the surface, but you remind yourself that he loves Nancy, despite your weird moments of almost with him. There’s something there between you and Jonathan, you both can feel it, but it feels too raw and fragile to bring into the light. 

Without having to ask, you know that Jonathan will choose her. 

It breaks your heart, but you look over at Dustin and Will, who are laughing about some joke while Joyce gazes at them fondly, and you know that you can’t lose this. Maybe Jonathan knows this, too. The small family you’ve built together, it’s too precious to ruin. 

Joyce and your boys, you can’t lose them. They’re yours, and Jonathan is yours in a way that you can’t quite keep to yourself forever, but for now it’s enough. You approach Joyce, grab her hand and give her a tired smile, and the smile she returns to you reminds you that this is more than enough for you. 

You turn to Jonathan, pushing down your feelings once more in favor of appreciating the fact that Will is looking at you again, alive. “Go, bee.” 

Jonathan gives you one last look. You study his face for a moment, watching as it shifts from confusion, to hurt, then finally into acceptance. You’ll never be sure of what exactly he’d been thinking in that moment, but it seemed to have been enough for him, too.

He smiles, lets out a deep breath, and then leaves.

The door closes softly behind him. 

– 

A month later you find yourself in the passenger seat of Jonathan's car, tired from your shift at Bookstrordinary but excited to pick up your brothers. Somehow, even after missing three consecutive shifts last month, Mrs. Waters refused to fire you. 

But Jonathan? He hadn’t been so lucky. His boss fired him from the Hawk, but he hadn’t been too upset. He still drives you to and from work, so you suppose things could be worse. 

It’s late, but the two of you take your time driving to the Wheeler’s. Nothing much has changed between you two following Will’s reappearance. Sure, maybe you’re at his house more just to make sure Will is adapting well, but besides that everything seemed to go back to normal. 

Well, almost normal. 

Steve appeared at your job a few days after your conversation in the hospital. He had surprised you when you walked in, and when you asked what he was doing in a bookstore, Steve simply shrugged and said, “You can’t figure out my nickname if we don’t hang out, right? So, I’m here.”

He had become a regular at the store, stopping by whenever he could, and slowly the two of you became good friends. You’ve come to enjoy Steve’s presence, something that you never thought would ever happen. But he keeps you company as you work, he wanders around and explores the comics and books you recommend to him, and it’s nice having someone to goof off with. 

Plus, you did promise to add him to your baking list, so he’s also become your taste tester who happily eats any creation you bring in for him.

As for Nancy…

That was more of a sore subject for Jonathan. 

There was a few weeks following Will’s reappearance that you thought Jonathan and Nancy would get together, but it never happened. You’re not quite sure why, maybe it had something to do with Jonathan’s hesitation of approaching her, but it had crushed him when you and he saw Nancy and Steve making out in the hall as if nothing bad had ever happened. 

The way Jonathan’s face crumbled when he saw the couple only solidified that he’d never be yours, but you comforted him anyways. You told him he deserved better and then dragged him away. It’d taken him a few days, but eventually Jonathan was able to fake a smile again. 

You haven’t spoken about it since that day, but you leave your window open most nights for him to crawl in. The nightmares from that night fighting the monster plague you both, and the loneliness feels a little heavier than usual, but at least you have each other. 

“Jonathan! Y/N! Come in, the boys are downstairs.” Mrs. Wheeler answers the door, letting the two of you in. “And Y/N, I love that sweater on you.”

You thank the woman. “It was a gift from my mom. She claims I need to up my wardrobe, whatever that means.”

“Well, I think she has lovely taste.” 

“I’ll let you know you think so!” You open the basement door and motion for Jonathan to go down first. 

When he reaches the bottom of the steps, Jonathan makes a face. “Woah, what’s that smell? Have you guys been playing games all day, or just farting?”

“My vote is farting.” You say, hopping down the last step. Your ankle has mostly healed by now, but sometimes if you land on it wrong it makes a weird clicking noise followed by some pain, but you choose to pretend that it’s normal. 

The boys laugh and Lucas points at your brother. “Oh, that’s just Dustin. He farted.”

He begins making fart noises with his mouth and you and Dustin share a look. “Very mature, Lucas.”

The boy continues to sing and make fart noises and you can’t believe that this is your life. You’re standing in a smelly basement while picking up your stubborn brother all while simultaneously enjoying the fact that you get to call this your life. 

Jonathan calls over to Will to grab his things, so you follow suit and gently berate Lucas. “Alright, that’s enough. I gotta get Dustin home.”

“What, I thought I got to stay–”

“Jonathan is our ride and I made cookies, so let’s go.”

The moment the word “cookies” leaves your mouth, Dustin hops up and collects his things without any further argument. 

Once he’s ready, he and Lucas play wrestle as they say goodbye. While they’re distracted, you walk over to Mike and discreetly hand him a container full of double fudge brownies. You’d specifically made them for him, knowing they were his favorite, because you noticed how hard it’s been for him to adjust to El being gone. He really cared about her, anyone could see that. 

Mike’s eyes widen and he throws his arms around you. “Thanks, Y/N.”

You pat his back. “Anytime, Wheeler.”

Dustin breaks away from Lucas and runs up the stairs, so you take that as your cue to leave. 

Upstairs, Jonathan and Will are talking to Mrs. Wheeler. When they see you enter, the woman turns to you and asks if you’ll be bringing over your usual round of holiday treats. “Of course, I’ll get started on them tomorrow. You guys still like the sugarbread cookies?”

“If you make them, I think I’ll die of happiness.” Mrs. Wheeler informs you, and you laugh and tell her that you’ll have them ready as soon as possible. 

You bid her goodbye, Dustin now by your side, and you follow Jonathan and Will to the front door. Right before you open the door, Nancy calls Jonathan’s name from the top of the stairs. 

“Hey, Jonathan, wait up!” 

You, Dustin, and Will stand awkwardly in the back while Nancy hands Jonathan a wrapped gift and wishes him a merry Christmas. They share an awkward exchange since Jonathan hadn’t gotten her anything, but Nancy assures him that it’s fine. The interaction is painful to watch as Nancy doesn’t spare you a single glance. Dustin and Will look at you uncertainly when she kisses Jonathan’s cheek, but you ignore them and pretend to be interested in a Christmas decoration on the table.

This will never get any easier. 

“You ready?” Jonathan turns back to you guys, a blush on his face, and all you can do is silently nod. 

In the car you sit in the back with Dustin, who squeezes your arm in reassurance. He’s come to understand your complex feelings for Jonathan and has pieced together Nancy’s involvement. While he’s never outright consoled you, he’s shown his support in other small and wonderful ways. 

“Thanks,” you whisper, and Dustin smiles. 

“We all buckled up?” Jonathan asks as he starts up the car. 

“Yes, captain.” You mock salute. 

Will giggles at you before he sees the gift and looks up at Jonathan. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

You and Dustin lean forward so you can see what’s in the box. When Will unwraps a beautiful, and no doubt expensive, camera, you gasp. The bitterness and hurt from moments ago vanishes. This gift is from Steve, you know it is, and something warm settles deep within your bones. 

You think about last month, how you’d told him not everyone can just afford a camera. 

Seems like Steve listened. 

Maybe he isn’t so bad after all. 

– 

A week later you knock on the Byers’ door, a giant container of your annual holiday cookies in your arms. 

“Bug!” Jonathan answers the door with an excited smile on his face. His new camera is in his hands and before you can even process what’s happening, he’s already taken a photo of you with your crooked earmuffs and oversized box of cookies.

He’s been using the camera ever since he got it. There’s now multiple pictures of you, always unaware or caught off guard, now hanging in the kitchen. It makes you blush to think about. 

“You didn’t even give me a chance to smile.” You complain, shoving your way inside. It’s snowing and you’re freezing. 

Joyce grabs the container to help you as soon as she sees you. “Here, honey. I’ve got it.”

You thank her and walk over to Will, who is drawing at the kitchen table. “Hey little bee. Whatcha drawing?”

“Hi, Y/N.” He slides over his picture and you’re shown a quick sketch of you and the party, this time fighting what appears to be a misshapen dog. “It’s a Dire Wolf, we’re fighting it in our latest campaign.”

“Ah, I see. Looks fluffy, though. Can’t possibly be a dangerous creature.”

Will rolls his eyes at you. “This is why you don’t play with us.”

“Careful, you’re sassing the girl who has just bravely ridden her bike through the snow to deliver her famous Christmas cookies.”

Will is out of his seat in an instant, running over to his mom, who has just placed the container on the counter. “Did you make the oatmeal raisin cookies?”

“Duh,” you snort. 

“And the chocolate chip?”

“I sure did.” You stand next to him and point at a new cookie you’re trying out this year. “This batch is a caramel banana one. Steve seemed to like it and I think it’s pretty good, so I hope you do too.”

Jonathan swoops over and kisses your head. “Of course we’ll like it, bug.”

“He’s right, you know. We always love whatever you make us, honey.” Joyce informs you, her mouth now full of cookies. 

“I’d hope so, this is like my fifth year making these for you guys. It’d be awkward if you hated my baking.” You say, now securing your earmuffs back on your head. “Anyways, I should get going. It’s Christmas, my mom won’t want me out too long.” 

Joyce looks out the window and frowns. “Did you really bike here in this weather?”

“It wasn’t too bad, I’ll be fine–”

“No. Jonathan, grab your keys and drive Y/N home.” She stares you down, daring you to argue with her, but you don’t. You know better than to argue with Joyce Byers. 

Once Jonathan has his keys, you say goodbye to everyone and wish them a merry Christmas. Jonathan throws your bike in his trunk and soon you’re off on the road. The drive is quiet but cozy. The snowflakes fall in a pretty spiral and there’s a soft song playing on the radio. 

Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can pretend that the events from last month never happened. Will never disappeared. You never discovered that you love Jonathan. Nancy Wheeler never became friends with Jonathan, possibly something more had there been more time. When you close your eyes and sit still, you can imagine that your brother never has nightmares that wake him up screaming. That your heart doesn’t hurt when you make your best friend laugh. 

For a moment, you can forget. 

“Can we always stay like this?” You ask Jonathan softly, almost as if you’ll disturb the peace that winter has brought with its quiet snow. 

“Like what?”

You’re not sure how to express what you’re feeling. “This, us. Together.”

“Of course we’ll always stay like this.” He grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it. He says this like it’s a fact, the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Pinky promise me.” You hold your pinky up. You know it’s silly, but you need him to hear you, to understand what you’re saying.

Jonathan looks over at you. “Y/N–”

“Please, promise me, bee.”

He’s silent for a moment, seeming to understand the weight of everything between, around, and within the two of you. Then, he extends his pinky finger and wraps it around yours. “I promise, bug.” 

And you believe him.

[END OF SEASON 1]

-

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[darklinaforever]

So ! I need to say that !

Hades & Persephone's relationship is canonically a loving and quite healthy relationship in the context of Greek mythology which represents a form of balance for the world through the cycle of the seasons. Persephone is not a victim of Hades either... Anyone who has studied Greek mythology can actually explain it to you.

That's a bad vision of the original myth due to a too modern interpretation. It's not the modern era that romanticizes this basic relationship. This was already the case in Greek times...

It even seems to me that Hades and Persephone were often represented on the vases given to newlyweds (pretty crazy, since Hera was literally the goddess of marriage) because they were always described as having a loving, supportive and harmonious marriage.

And if you're looking for a real culprit in the union of Hades & Persephone, there's literally Zeus, who authorized the marriage between the two after Hades came to ask him. Hades didn't kidnap Persephone as soon as he saw her. He first asked to his father, Zeus, for her hand in marriage, as in the Greek traditions of the time.

In some versions of the myth, it even seems to me that Aphrodite is the one who provoked Hades' love for Persephone by sending Eros to plant an arrow in her after being upset by a refusal. But for now, I'm not sure of Aphrodite's real involvement.

But regardless, in the original myth, the one blamed is actually very clearly Zeus. He is the one, once again, having authorized the kidnapping of Persephone, which in Greek traditions translates into an engagement, and who has caused the whole messy situation with poor Demeter.

As for the grenade episode, it doesn't seem to me that we can know the original version. So the whole "Hades forced Persephone to eat the pomegranate" thing is also bullshit.

There doesn't even seem to me to be any indication of Persephone having been mistreated in any way by Hades in the myth. It's again bullshit.

I'm making this post because I've had yet another person explain to me that Persephone is a victim of Hades and that our modern age romanticizes the relationship between the two.

"Yes. Like Persephone gets bastardised. Persephone was Hades's assault victim. People try to "modernize" her by making her want Hades (all while making Demeter to be in the wrong). Mina was Dracula's assault victim. People try to "modernize" her by making her cheat on Jonathan for Dracula."

Except no. Persephone is not a victim of Hades in the context of Greek myth. That's a stinking modern vision. Kind of ironic, when you argue that it's the modern view that stands in for the real version of Persephone being a victim of Hades when... well no. It's the modern era that makes Persephone a victim of abuse at the hands of Hades, (this all reminds me of how people make Rhaenyra a victim of grooming in her relationship with Daemon) while that is not the case in the context of the original myth. As I explained above, this interpretation is modern bullshit. And it is very important to transcribe the myths in their ancient context to understand their various messages, otherwise you will miss the point.

But I won't elaborate further because @cthonisprincess has already explained it very well. I invite you to go and see these reblogs below which detail the whole affair of Hades and Persephone in much more detail :

I even recommend this video :

My god, I can't believe that in 2024, people are still at the stage of demonizing Hades, even though he is one of the rare decents gods, and still claiming that Persephone is an assault victim of Hades... This is a shameful distortion of the original myth and a real bastardization of the goddess Persephone.

Also... we're literally talking about a myth. The goal of a myth is to be reinvented according to the times. So what does it matter that there are adaptations of the myth that differ from the said myth, or rather from the biased vision that some have of making Persephone a poor victim of the evil Hades ?!

@aleksanderscult

[suzukiblu]

Five headcanons for Plot Bunny: based on “mistaken identities and interdimensional refugees”. 

Kon lived with his Jonathan and Martha Kent for about two or three years before letting his personal issues about potentially BEING an issue convince him to run off and get his own place. He was "nineteen”, he figured; that was already a year longer than he should’ve stayed on the farm anyway, even helping out with the chores and whatever. Normal people all leave home at eighteen, right? And it wasn’t ever really HIS home, anyway. ( no, Kon. no they do not. AND EVEN IF THEY DID, YOU’RE ONLY ARGUABLY “NINETEEN” ANYWAY. )

Kon and Tim have been officially/publicly dating for maybe six months, give or take, and “Conner Kent” is not exactly popular in Gotham because a) not from money and b) not from GOTHAM, and also c) what is he even doing with his life, anyway?? Kon isn’t exactly embarrassed about this, but IS slightly self-conscious about it. He’s still not good at trying to make himself seem smaller and more “normal” than he actually is, and not particularly comfortable trying to pass for a normal civilian. He swings between over-correcting and not correcting enough, and it makes him come off as kind of inconstant and weird to people not in the know. 

Aid worker Rita is kinda into this whole “meeting hot young alternate of Bruce Wayne” thing, this thing is kinda novel. Like, she knows it’s a crisis situation but she really appreciates him being a chill and supportive dude and being very helpful, actually! All the aid workers were pretty appreciate of "Baby Bruce’s" helpfulness, in fact, and mildly surprised in a couple of cases. 

Jon is from a reality where Earth-3 hasn’t happened to him, and is therefore still chronologically in step with his home reality and family. He’s still fairly new to Superboy-ing, but he’s at least met and worked with Damian and gotten slightly-antagonistically attached to him. Idk, “Annoyances To Friends” trope?? He actually doesn’t have a ton of friends in general, he gets along with a lot of people but self-isolates from getting too close to anyone. Is that because he sees his dad behaving certain ways and taking too much on himself and his mom insisting on not needing help and taking too much on HERself and just assumes that’s what he has to be like too? Who knows! ( me. I know. ) 

Kon actually has very complicated feelings about his version of Jon, and he’s currently desperately attempting to repress them because it is NOT the time. Like, at all. It is NOT. He needs to take care of this kid and do right by him and not be WEIRD about anything like how his Jon got everything he ever wanted while he was out of the reality, while everyone had FORGOTTEN him, and–that’s fine! That’s something he’s totally normal about, and always has been and always will be, and it DOES NOT MATTER! Like at all! Especially not anything he wanted from . . . CLARK, instead of just . . . Superman. Or . . . anything like that. BUT IT’S ALL FINE AND OKAY AND HE DOESN’T NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT EVER AGAIN, THANKS. 

[primeofprimes115]

Overwhelming Burden - Supergirl x Male Reader

Note: Fluff 🥰 and Angst 🥺

I've just read the Zero Hour 30th Anniversary comic #1 not long ago and... Honestly, it's such a good comic, biggest highlight for me is seeing Supergirl wearing a black suit with the silver S on the suit and cape, the silver belt, bracelets and black gloves (In the comic, there's instances where she's wearing black gloves or not which is a little weird but in this imagine, she'll be wearing black gloves, another image will be shown in the imagine later of her wearing black gloves) are a nice addition as well... And pants! Best suit I've seen in a while.

This is a world where Superman is dead, dead after his fight with Doomsday and where Batman never came back because he's broken, so pretty much retired and Batgirl is Gotham's Knight now while Supergirl is Metropolis's protector. Diana Prince is no where to be found so Donna Troy is the new Wonder Woman also. They what would be the New Trinity in those words.

Supergirl in this comic however is supposed to be Matrix aka Mae Kent, but DC for some reason wanted Kara Zor-El/ the original Supergirl to be mentioned in this rather than Matrix Supergirl which is a little odd but I'm not complaining. Spoiler for those but Donna named dropped Supergirl as "Kara" in the comic, so... I suppose it's Kara Zor-El, again it's a little odd, ain't complaining, I honestly don't mind.

So in other words... This imagine is inspired from this. Hope you enjoy!

Credit also goes to @bisupergirl for the pics!

Metropolis, once a city that was defended by a man who revolutionized the way Aliens were welcomed on Earth, a man that changed the world with more superheroes making their debut, along with the added threat of supervillains and those that had an agenda against him. He was a man who only found out he was in fact an Alien once he found out where he really came from.

His parents, Ma and Pa Kent, aka Martha and Jonathan, once told him he came from the stars one day, crashing down onto Earth in a small pod not far from where they lived in their farmhouse, and finding a newborn wrapped in a red cloth that would be used as his cape when he grew older to become...

Superman.

He inspired many, became Earth's Champion, defended Earth and Humanity from many threats, though he couldn't always do it alone, he eventually had allies that formed the Justice League that vowed to protect Earth from any known threat known to Humankind.

Clark Kent of the Daily Planet and from a little town called Smallville, Kal-El of Krypton, Superman, the Man of Steel, Man of Tomorrow, once an icon, a hero, a loving Husband and son to all that loved him.

He was once the fabled "Last Son of Krypton" until one day, that changed... When another pod came crashing down onto Earth, holding a young blonde haired girl, who was petrified, confused, unaware of how long it has been after being in hypersleep for many years, sent from her planet of Krypton alongside her cousin, before her pod was knocked off-course.

Kal didn't know at the time, but the arrival of this girl changed his life forever and for the better, this girl was his cousin, Kara Zor-El, who would later become Supergirl and wear the same colors and family crest, one that Clark learned more about from Kara, all about the House of El, their family, his and her parents... Some he already knew from the Fortress of Solitude that was created by the Kryptonian crystal that he put into the ice in the North Pole.

Things were going very well with Kara's introduction to Earth, adopted by the loving Danvers family, she took the name "Linda Lee Danvers" to blend in and hide her powers, though at times she wasn't great at controlling them, she was taught how to.

From going to Earth school, to meeting the one guy that she befriended, the boy named Y/N, which the two eventually began to fall for one another during high school, becoming somewhat high school sweethearts. Clark supported the fact Kara found someone she liked, someone to keep her on her toes when unexpected, she eventually introduced Clark to Y/N, letting him know of the other secret they hadn't told him yet. Their Kryptonian heritage which was a big surprise to the young boy at the time, she even took him on a flight to convince him further.

Around this time, Kara being 16 years old, she debuted as Supergirl, cousin of Superman. Embracing the whole Girl of Steel part of herself to defend her new home from enemies alike. Sporting a blue top with a red skirt and gold V-shaped belt, a short red cape with a golden S on the back as opposed to wearing the same S on her top with a red background just like her cousin, showcasing the House of El sigil proudly.

At first, the world wasn't sure how to accept Supergirl, but eventually not long after, they did with Superman's help. Kara was more happier than to be both Linda Lee Danvers and Supergirl.

But... Not everything is forever...

With some years going by and now with Kara have been Supergirl for three and a half years...

A Doomsday descended upon Earth... Many heroes answered the threat and couldn't stop it without cutting losses.

It was Superman who saved the day... But at a heavy cost...

His own life, succumbing to his wounds and the world fell silent once the news broke out.

Earth's Champion... Superman... Had been confirmed dead, giving out his life to fight Doomsday, the fight was nothing more than brutal and destructive, Metropolis was wrecked and battered by the events.

His death hit many heavily, Kara especially. There was supposed to be a surprise for Kara, before Doomsday came to be, but Y/N called the surprise off, in exchange to grieve, knowing it wouldn't be the right time to propose to the girl he has always loved.

In honor to grieve her cousin's death, Kara made the decision to change up her suit and colors, now sporting a black top, long cape and pants, with a silver V-shaped belt, bracelets and the S and shield, colored silver, even on the back of her new black cape had the S colored in silver, also supporting black gloves over her hands. The bracelets both have a diamond shaped sigil on the front, even the belt too, unlike her previous suit.

No longer blue, red and gold. Just a black and silver look, the world took notice of this change, seeing a black and blonde blur zoom past on multiple occasions throughout the world, it didn't take long for people to know it was Supergirl, now having a wardrobe change since the last time she appeared on camera months ago.

Some asked why? The obvious answer was simple... Coming from her.

"To honor my cousin" she said nothing more after. She refused to take anymore questions about anything else, it was nothing but a bother to her.

She became Metropolis's new protector, Earth's New Champion and part of the new Justice League that was put into place, post Doomsday and Superman's Death within a year later.

Kara was well known to he amongst the newer Wonder Woman and the Batgirl that has taken over Batman's duties after he mysteriously "vanished" when more forces played behind the scenes in that regard.

Meanwhile, still being Supergirl, her lover, Y/N, now loving Husband, having gotten married a few months ago, remained behind as the ever-loving House Husband, in their now shared apartment building, every day and night when Kara came back from her duties as Supergirl, he'd be the one greeting her when she came back.

But as of recently... Kara's been barely getting home than usual, skipping lunch dates, dinners, her usual work before she quit and the two had a fairshare of arguments then and there about the issue, as mostly every married couple eventually argues over something.

This morning was no different, it was the same as usual, Y/N always said that her being Supergirl didn't had to always be a thing, he wanted her to be Linda Danvers for a day or two, but she kept refusing the idea, Supergirl was needed day and night, it was her duty, her vow to fill in Kal's shoes.

Y/N made the argument that Superman wasn't always needed and this only infuriated Kara further, where their argument turned a little more heated. Y/N hated arguing with her about this, this was the first ever heated argument with her and he felt bad bringing it up. Kara was still hurting about Kal's death. There was one thing he did say that was true...

He felt neglected by her now, he hadn't been hugged by her in the last few weeks... Or even kissed by that matter and he missed having her lips on his

Kara was nothing but frustrated and moody mostly in the last few months, the last time he ever saw her smile much was during their wedding day and the entire week. It was like something switched off in her that caused her to be like this.

Could it be that something has happened? Something so bad, it's keeping her awake at night and not as the forgiving girl she was before?

She wasn't a Girl-Scout, but there was times she was, and it rarely shows today.

Y/N spent all day to himself once more, still thinking back on the argument he had with Kara this morning before she left, getting groceries, doing the laundry, keeping an eye on their cat, Streaky, before he eventually began to relax for the day. Not having to do any online work since Kara quit her Human job.

He sat on the couch, his Playstation controller in hand, playing a story-driven game before he paused it to go grab a drink.

His mind was still on the argument they had this morning, his eyes caught onto the plate of food, covered by tin-foil, dinner that was made for Kara for when she would come back at the usual time but again... She hadn't come back yet.

Y/N knew not to worry much, but it became increasingly hard for him, he loved her so much, despite the arguments they've had since getting married.

But he was worried, he was worried that she was beating herself up over everything that's happened, and it showed in her face, her body language.

The pair haven't kissed or hugged in the last two weeks and he missed being held, being kissed, being flown by her, he misses the old Kara, the old Supergirl...

The old Linda Danvers he fell in love with...

Just as he poured some fresh OJ, Y/N heard a pair of boots land on the wooden flooring by the window. He briefly looked to see Supergirl, his wife, who had seemed to look like she had been tossed around and thrown into the surface of the sun yet again, nothing more than usual.

His heart swelled to see her, but it hurt knowing she was probably still mad at him. He knew he wasn't wrong, but he just wanted to patch things up, like a normal married couple would.

"You're back" he stated the obvious with a lowered tone, but a tone she could pick up with her super hearing. "I... I was beginning to worry, but... I'm glad you're okay" he gave a little smile at the corner of his lips but it soon vanished after taking a sip of his drink.

Supergirl hadn't said anything back to him, she only looked at the TV to see what he had been doing in her absence, before noticing Streaky as she shakes her long, black cape, wiping off dust particles.

'Ugh, gonna have to get that cleaned up' he mentally noted before taking another sip from his drink. "I made dinner again, it's cold now but I ca-" a whooshing sound interrupted him and he was met by Kara who had zoomed up close to him after looking him in the eyes, completely surprising him. He almost dropped his glass of fresh OJ once she zoomed up at him in a nano-second.

"K-Kara?".

There was nothing but pain and hurt in her eyes before grabbing the sides of her cape and lunged her arms around him, wrapping her cape around him also as her body began to quiver and tremble.

She dug her face into the crook of his neck and her breaths became shaky, Y/N could only stand there with a surprised look on his face as Kara... The Girl of Steel, his wife, Supergirl, had began to break down emotionally from what it sounded like.

Then he could hear her sobbing into him, little sobs of sadness washing over her as she clung onto him hardly but gently, not wanting to let go just like any other time he'd tried to hug her.

"Y/N" she mumbled with a shaky breath into his neck, her messy blonde hair tickling the side of his face. "I-I-I" she couldn't speak her words, sadness overwhelming her as tears flushed down from her closed eyes that began to soak the T-shirt's fabric on his shoulder, crying even harder by the minute.

Y/N wrapped his arms around her figure quickly, who was clinging onto him like she was holding on for dear life, he accepted the hug he longed to get from her, it broke his heart hearing her sob and cry, feeling his shoulder getting wetter by the minute from all the tears she was shedding. Her words coming out trembling and mumbling nonsense

"Oh, Kara" Y/N cooed to her, rocking a little left to right while feeling the warmth of Kara's long cape wrapped around him and her, her arms holding him into place while a hug carried out.

"I-I... I'm so s-s-sorry!" she cried harder into him, her sobbing getting more prominent as Y/N tightened his arms around her, even his breaths began to get shaky at this moment, he felt her words hitting him in the heart. "I-I".

"Sshhh, i-it's okay" he cooed to her softly.

"N-N-No! I-It's not o-okay!" she denied that fact, struggling with her words still, but Y/N understood what she meant.

Yes... It wasn't okay, he could clearly see and hear it, with a crying Supergirl in his arms, also embracing him with her cape wrapped around him to cling onto him as she cries and sobs, overwhelmed by drowning dread and grief.

He always had a feeling eventually Linda/Kara L/N would be overwhelmed with this, mostly overwhelmed with the burden of being Earth's Champion twenty-four-seven, since Superman's death, she's been nothing but mostly Supergirl the entire time, the only acception she wouldn't be her superhero self was at the wedding and the week following that with the honeymoon.

"Let it all out, it's okay, my Sunshine" he cooed further though he stumbled on his wordings, calling her by a nickname he had for her, one she hadn't heard in a while which made her sob harder. "Let it all out" he told her once again, letting the broken Girl of Steel cry on his shoulder, just like he once told her that if she needed a shoulder to cry on, she's got him.

He could remember the days when they were in high school, remember when they were fifteen years old, he'd stop by the Danvers's place to hang out with Linda and her two other friends that she made in class, he remembered getting to know them better since he had different classes from them, and only a few classes where he and Kara would be seated near each other, often not sitting next to one another.

The days where he first began to crush on Linda, he found her the most adorable and smartest girl in the world, to him? She was everything he wanted. He didn't have much friends, most were into edgy stuff, which didn't match his tastes.

But Linda? She was into anything, she was cool to him, smart, had a sense of humor, was fun to be around and was pretty defensive for him against his bullies, once publicly embarrassing one of them by flipping him over her shoulder, on the verge of breaking the bully's arm, potentially ruining his placement for the basketball game coming up that time.

Once everything had calmed down, along with Kara's sobbing, and apologies were made about all the arguments they've been having, the two pulled back from the hug and kissed, lips-to-lips for the first time in two weeks, a kiss both surely had been missing, a long kiss between them with their lips slowly smacking off each other in a slow dancing way.

His hands caressed her cheek with his thumbs swiping away at any stray tears that fell down from her eyes which they did once they began to kiss, Kara's cape still wrapped around him and herself, not even thinking of letting go any time soon.

"Y/N" Kara broke the silence after the long kiss they had, the kiss she could clearly see that Y/N had been dreading for, a kiss of closure in other words. "I... I thought about what you said this morning, and... You're right, I have been... Neglecting you as of recently" she painfully admitted, her voice croaking as she spoke.

"No, no. I was wrong to say that" Y/N backed down from what he said, taking back the hurtful thing he said this morning. "I shouldn't have said that in the first-".

"No" she interrupted. "It's the truth. All I've thought since..." a pain arose in her chest as she felt it flare up from what she was about to say, struggling to speak a little.

"I don't think you need to say" he told her, knowing what she was going to say, as it was clear as day...

She took the burden of being the next Symbol of Hope, the carry on the shoes and burden that Superman alone carried with him through his actions and heroism, Supergirl was a role model to most, if not, all people as expressed through her actions and words alone. She didn't want to be like her cousin, she wanted to be her own person.

She once admitted to him the fact she was scared she'd end up losing herself because of the fact that there could be one day he might die and she'd have to pick up where he left off being Earth's Champion, but Clark gave her sound advice. Like him...

She had family and friends to help her carry the burden if she struggled, to carry on without him if he were to die, which happened.

"I visit that statue every day" she sniffled, looking into Y/N's eyes still. "Wishing he'd be here today still, wondering what it would be like to have him around again" she closed her eyes and sighed with a sadness that could be seen in her face. "I miss him... So, so much" she croaked.

"I know, I miss him too" he laid a finger under her chin and raised her head so he could look into her eyes, tears forming her eyes once more before one fell down onto Y/N's thumb. "But you're not alone, Kara. Being Supergirl twenty-four-seven hasn't done you good, you look stressed and tired, which is concerning considering Kryptonians don't get tired from what you've shown" he made a valid point across to her, but she seemed to have heard it before.

"You sound like Babs".

"Do I know?" he chuckled. "Well... If I was Barbara, I think she'd also be correct".

This prompted to make the Girl of Steel smile just a little, which was enough for him to point out with a little smile back at her.

"There she is, there's the smile".

"Don't ruin it" she groaned.

"I'd never" he smiled, giving out a little laugh that was a little contagious for Kara, a soft laugh escaped her before it died down, with her sighing next.

Y/N pushed a strand of Kara's hair behind her ear, seeing the other half of her face that was hidden by her golden hair. "I think... You should take off the suit and Supergirl" with his eyes he traced out the House of El glyph on Kara's chest. "...could use a good break for a little bit, you can have someone else fill in for you, clear your mind a little with me" Y/N suggested to her, though he knew she wouldn't like it, now that things had been settled between them, he wouldn't lose his chances.

And Kara knew it...

"I can heat up your dinner, or you can probably use your heat vision since it's quicker than the oven" he snorted, getting a faint laugh out from Kara while she smiled, his face brightened up again noticing it. "And we can also... Cuddle on the couch, put on a movie of your choice, not my pick because you know I'm picky" he suggested further.

"Or..." Kara unwrapped her arms off him for a moment before wrapping them back around, only around the crook of his neck this time around with her cape billowing slightly behind her due to the window being open still on a cool windy night. "I can take you on a flight?".

"Ohh" Y/N caught himself between two hard choices. "Hmm... Maybe tomorrow you can take me on a flight, how about that, Sunshine?" he answered.

"Deal" she nodded before smiling a little more, finally answering after a minute. Deep down he was right from earlier when she thought about it, her being Supergirl twenty-four-seven has done her no good, it put some strain on the relationships she's got with her loved ones, her adopted family especially and Y/N, who love her all the same, she had a prior visit to them before coming back, wanting to reconcile which was as emotional as it was already.

"It's your favorite, by the way, from your adopted mother's recipe" he smiled as Kara x-rayed the plate with the tin-foil over it, spotting a Lasagna and coming from him, it was Edna Danvers recipe of her Lasagna.

"I thought I smelled something familiar" she noted while looking at the plate.

"Go on" he gestured his head toward the plate.

"You want some? There's plenty left for us to share" she offered, unwrapping her arms off him and began to walk up to the plate.

"Nah, I'm good" he declined politely.

"You sure? In case you end up eying it up anyway" she smirked, taking off the tin-foil gently though unnecessary to do it gently.

"I had like... Maybe two plates earlier, cooked a bit too much, I'm full still" he gestured. I'll wait on the couch for you, gonna turn this game off and that".

"Okay, Love" she nodded and smiled before she looked at the food, her eyes soon lit up red before she quickly heated up the food with her heat vision, heating it up to the right temperature, just for her.

Taking the plate, she saw her Husband save his progress and switch off the game, she had a little fond memory of him kicking her ass at a fighting game when they were younger, back when things were simpler when Clark was still alive.

"Y/N" Kara broke the silence yet again.

"Yes, my Sunshine?" he answered.

"I love you, I really love you, you dork. Always remember that" she smiled once again, stabbing her Lasagna with a fork that was left on the table next to the plate earlier before taking it to her mouth to savor the taste of the food.

"I love you too, Linda L/N" he smiled back at her, her face noticeably brightened as she strolled over with her plate of food in hand... 

______________________________________________________________

Fin...

Word Count: 4078

[wheneverfeasible]

🧠🪱Wiggly Wednesday🪱🧠

Thank you for the tags @scoops-aboy86 and @endlessmusings1801!

Okay so hear me out. This was a worm I’ve been thinking about lately, which is bizarre, because it isn’t inherently Steddie…

But we get all kinds of fics of if Eddie and/or Robin were pulled into things earlier than their seasons. But…

What if Tommy and Carol were pulled into things with Steve? Like, picture it…

Instead of ditching Steve after his fight with Jonathan, Steve and Tommy and Carol hash it out a bit more, get into a bigger argument maybe even, and maybe they do separate for a bit. But then they’re still friends, so maybe they huff and puff about it but they talk things out too. Maybe Steve even gets to somewhat convince them that they should all apologize, even if Tommy and Carol don’t really want to or care all that much.

So all three of them go to do so, and all three of them see the demogorgon, and all three of them have that life altering paradigm shift. Maybe Carol and Tommy don’t change completely, at least not immediately, but they’re forced to confront that there’s more than just high school popularity contests, and maybe they become just that little bit of better people.

Maybe Carol and Nancy have a genuine talk, genuinely open up to each other, and no one can ever replace Barb of course, but it’s nice to have another female friend, even if they’re pretty much polar opposites.

Tommy isn’t fond of Jonathan at all, because demogorgon aside, it was creep behavior taking photos of them like that. Tommy helps pitch in to get Jonathan his new camera though, because he egged on Steve’s insecurities (brought on by the fact that Steve’s dad has cheated on his mom so he’s really sensitive to potential cheating in partners) and he guesses he’s partly to blame. He rolls his eyes about it, but Steve is happy he has his friend beside him still.

Tommy and Carol don’t really take to the kids much, but Carol does secretly enjoy getting into bitching sessions with Mike, and later Erica.

When Billy shows up, maybe Tommy and Carol start backsliding. Maybe they have to have a big blowup. Maybe they aren’t there when Steve gets dragged in helping Dustin, at least not immediately, but maybe they hear about Steve dealing with that without them because they chose Billy and they just…they…

They can’t believe they left Steve to deal with that horror by himself. They feel guilty and terrible and they tell Billy off. They can’t believe they chose some stupid popularity that doesn’t even matter over the guy that literally went to bat for them. They’re at the end with him, apologizing for not being there before, and they become even better people.

They come around to lovingly tease Steve at his job at Scoops, wheedling free ice cream out of him. And who knows, maybe telling Billy off changes the third season, maybe them being there, better people and supportive of Steve changes things, maybe the three of them can even change Billy to an extent. Maybe, Steve and Tommy and Carol and Billy hashing it all out and coming to terms with the toxicity of high school and judgemental parents and a society that believes you need to be a certain way to matter…maybe it changes things for the better.

Idk. I’ve just always wondered how things would have gone if Tommy and Carol had been exposed to the truth the first season.

And then blah blah blah, Steve and Eddie eventually fuck about it. Because I am nothing if not a Steddie truther in everything. And who knows…maybe Robin and Carol fuck about it also 😏

-

Hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

Co-Hostage tag for this: @katyawriteswhump

No pressure participation tag: @stervrucht (I know you’ve been tagged already but lmao I’m tagging YOU first this time anyways lmaoooo) @fkinkindagauche @steddiecameraroll @henderdads @queenie-ofthe-void

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Backstage (2024)

Jonathan Bailey is still marinating in his thoughts, andthey taste pretty sweet. Top notes of red wine, he says. 

These are busy times for the witty British heartthrob. He’s speaking over Zoom from Malta, where he’s filming the next “Jurassic World” installment. And two days prior, he received his first Emmy nomination for his supporting turn on Showtime’s “Fellow Travelers.” 

What’s lingering in Bailey’s mind after reaching such a huge milestone? “The nature of the story, and how that story’s come to be told,” he says of Ron Nyswaner’s limited series, a decades-spanning gay drama that’s chock-full of steamy sex scenes. For him, the Emmy nod is “an acknowledgment of [the show] meaning something much bigger.” 

The 36-year-old actor radiates humility and surges with pride for his collaborators; “Fellow Travelers” also picked up nominations for lead actor Matt Bomer and for Nyswaner’s writing. Bailey believes the fact that executive producer Robbie Rogers was able to get the project on television at all is a “brilliant signifier” of changing times. He feels lucky to have been the right person for the job. And after a couple of decades in the industry, the actor’s star is about to go supernova. 

Childhood stage work and gigs on 2000s teen TV shows led to roles on acclaimed series like ITV’s “Broadchurch” and Channel 4’s “Crashing.” He nabbed an Olivier in 2019 for his performance in Marianne Elliott’s West End revival of “Company.” Households on the other side of the Atlantic learned his name in 2020 when he courted lockdown audiences as Anthony, the strident head of the titular family on Netflix’s period-romance smash “Bridgerton.” 

Then came the game-changing “Fellow Travelers.” Bailey plays the idealistic Tim Laughlin, a closeted congressional staffer who pursues a clandestine relationship with another man amid the witch hunts of McCarthy-era Washington. The actor is keeping up that momentum in the coming months with part one of Jon M. Chu’s highly anticipated film adaptation of the Broadway musical “Wicked” (out Nov. 22), followed by the fourth “Jurassic World” in 2025. 

“Fellow Travelers” is a fitting inflection point for Bailey, considering it reflects aspects of his own gay identity. Tim’s story also illuminates a thread connecting the actor’s work, both in and out of character: always embracing the truth, shame be damned. 

Born in Wallingford, England, Bailey made a beeline for the arts as a kid when he began studying music and ballet. After getting a taste of performing at a young age, he secured an agent when he was a teenager. Even now, he feels the sense of joy and wonder he discovered in those early days. 

He chose not to attend drama school, instead throwing himself into professional theater, where he encountered the performance process in its most essential form. “You start with your own instincts, and then you share with others in the room in real time,” Bailey says. “You academically approach text, then you emotionally explore it. Then, you physically put it on its feet.”

Theater taught him to be observant. In rehearsals, he witnessed actors being brilliant and bold, but also making crucial mistakes. Weeks of rehearsing helped him learn how to spend time with a character as he watched his castmates play against type and expand themselves through performance. Those lessons both tested and encouraged him, and they’ve carried him throughout his career. 

Since then, Bailey has gotten the chance to see plenty of giants at work. He reverently discusses performing Stephen Sondheim’s music alongside Patti LuPone in “Company” and reciting Shakespeare opposite Ian McKellen in the Chichester Festival Theatre’s 2017 production of “King Lear.” 

His contemporaries also made for great teachers. He worked with Phoebe Waller-Bridge on “Crashing” and Michaela Coel on “Chewing Gum”—two certified television geniuses whose creative successes Bailey likens to the magnesium flame of a meteor. It’s an apt comparison—Waller-Bridge called him “a meteorite of fun” in a 2022 interview with GQ. (“I think I’ve always been quite naughty,” he says playfully.)

“There’s so much you take on via natural osmosis,” Bailey explains. “It’s what you watch and how you interpret things.”

For example, he thinks that every actor should see Sandy Dennis’ Oscar-winning turn as Honey in Mike Nichols’ 1966 film “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Her performance whet his curiosity about the craft: “She is so fluid. I mean, that might be the most exposing answer I’ve given about what my inner world is like.”

Bailey’s technique is rooted in music. He plays piano and clarinet, and he approaches acting like an instrument, too. When reading a script for the first time, he experiences his character’s arc as the phrases in a song. “The way my brain works is that I see the images of what they’re doing,” he says. “When I say ‘phrasing,’ it’s like, how you get from that image to this image.”

When he was playing the bottled-up Anthony on “Bridgerton,” Bailey found inspiration in songs by Echo and the Bunnymen and Nirvana. While filming “Fellow Travelers” in Toronto, he went on long walks while listening to expansive pop music to help him explore Tim, a character whose energy radiates outward.

Considering Bailey’s process plays like a song, connoisseurs of his work might notice a motif. Sam from “Crashing,” a party boy Bailey calls “a wild, untamed animal in a tiny little cage,” aggressively maintains a facade of heterosexuality while pining for his male housemate Fred (Amit Shah). On Season 2 of “Bridgerton,” Anthony locked himself into a prison of duty and a loveless engagement to avoid acknowledging his desire for the fiery Kate Sharma (Simone Ashley).

Tim of “Fellow Travelers” is the latest in a series of sharply drawn characters confronting the tension between their assigned roles and their personal truths. Viewers first meet a straitlaced rule-follower whose Catholic piety is only matched by his loyalty to the infamous Senator Joseph McCarthy. All that changes when he crosses paths with Hawkins “Hawk” Fuller (Bomer), a crystal-eyed, debonair State Department official. Their respective closets combust on contact, and they enter into a forbidden love affair just as McCarthy’s Lavender Scare has begun purging queer people from the halls of government.

Bailey’s interior work tends to be more emotional than cerebral, but he’s a generous conversation partner who’s always game to riff on the deep stuff. Whether it’s yearning, going against expectations, or facing high stakes, the phrasing is what draws him in. 

He finds a lot of gorgeous notes to play across the eight episodes of “Fellow Travelers” as the action moves from the 1950s to the ’80s, making pit stops along the way. While Hawk settles for a life of straight domesticity, Tim hurtles through a sexual and political awakening: The Beltway boy becomes an activist priest who refuses to diminish himself, especially when the AIDS crisis begins to rip his community apart.

Bailey loved being inside Tim’s head; in fact, the actor thinks of him as a hero. After experiencing the isolation of his secret relationship with Hawk, he opens himself up to the world: He comes out, moves to San Francisco, cobbles together a found family, and builds a life as his true self. 

“Ron Nyswaner has spoiled Matt and me for the operatic detail that existed between [our characters],” Bailey says, “and also with Tim’s political fervor: the truth and the honesty that he demands of himself and the world around him, and the grappling with anything that is an obstacle to his own and other’s happiness.”

You can’t talk about “Fellow Travelers” without discussing its rapturous sex scenes—and not only for titillation’s sake, though the kinky encounters between Tim and Hawk certainly call for smelling salts. These sequences gave Bailey the opportunity to commit authentic queer intimacy to the screen, which members of the LGBTQ+ community rarely come across as they search for ways to understand their identities. 

The trust between Bailey and Bomer informed everything they did onscreen. Before filming those scenes, the two actors talked through their approach at a café (Goldstruck Coffee on Cumberland Street in Toronto—a ribald little detail that still makes Bailey laugh). The filming itself was incredibly technical, and the actors worked with an intimacy coordinator on set. “We sort of hit the ground running, knowing exactly what was going to be required but also how to communicate throughout it,” Bailey says. “It felt immediately quite safe.”

He sensed an exciting opportunity to tell a story about transformative love amid the “wild, oppressive moment” of the Lavender Scare, dismissing any reservations about the explicit nature of the material. “Honestly, this is exactly why this show is going to be brilliant,” he remembers thinking.

The series’ milestone dramatic moments, with buttons still done up and no skin showing, carried that same sense of significance. No matter how much Tim grew over the course of his arc, Bailey says that his bond with Hawk remained an “extraordinary, material thing.”

This summer, the actor made a very Tim move when he founded the Shameless Fund, a charity that supports LGBTQ+ causes under the tagline: “Raising cash. Erasing shame.” The initiative grew directly out of his acting work—first inspired by the platform afforded to him by “Bridgerton” and further influenced by his experience on “Fellow Travelers.” 

Playing Tim—or, as Bailey puts it, spending “five months doing a dissertation on queer oppression and liberation”—catalyzed his thoughts about the people who created a world where such a show could even exist. “I think in ‘Fellow Travelers,’ it’s so clear what Tim wants,” he says. “But as the world around him develops, you realize there’s so much that he can’t have, but that he can help change.”

Bailey sees that progress playing out in the next generation. He has a small role on the upcoming third season of Netflix’s queer YA hit “Heartstopper” as a dreamy academic who’s the celebrity crush of the series’ protagonist, Charlie (Joe Locke). Based on creator Alice Oseman’s graphic novel series, the show has found a passionate following of young LGBTQ+ fans. 

When he watched “Heartstopper” for the first time, Bailey remembers wondering what it would have been like to see such representation on television when he was growing up. “I was so celebratory of it,” he says. “But it was obviously kind of a melancholic watch for people above a certain age, because it allowed them to grieve what they didn’t have.”

Having conquered the Regency and Cold War periods on the small screen, Bailey’s blockbuster era is imminent. He’s playing dashing love interest Fiyero in the “Wicked” films (based on Gregory Maguire’s 1995 novel), singing and dancing alongside Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. It’s a perfect fit for the actor’s particular lens: “Musically and theatrically, I understand it massively.”

Since “Wicked” came with its own well-known songs to study, Bailey spent a lot of time with composer-lyricist Stephen Schwartz’s music in his ears rather than Kurt Cobain’s. He explored Fiyero’s interiority through the musical theater form itself: What does the act of singing express for him?

And for a character whose signature number is called “Dancing Through Life,” what metaphorical direction are his steps leading him in? 

Bailey sees Fiyero as part of the same club as Tim, Anthony, and Sam, as the heightened world of Oz sends him on a journey of radical transformation. “I think about where he starts and where he ends up; he’s literally a changed person,” the actor says. “I savored the arc over two films.” 

Next year, Bailey will become an action star in Gareth Edwards’ next installment of “Jurassic World” opposite Scarlett Johansson. Though details have yet to be announced, including the movie’s title, production is well underway; Bailey just finished filming in Thailand before shooting moved to Malta. A few days before we spoke, he was interacting with a fake blue-screen dinosaur (which is only a spoiler if you thought Hollywood has actually been cloning big reptiles this whole time).

But Bailey is still keeping his theater muscles toned. Next year, he’s starring as the titular monarch in Nicholas Hytner’s production of Shakespeare’s “Richard II” at London’s Bridge Theatre. “I have to go and sharpen up,” he says of returning to the stage. “You feel so sharp and dexterous at the end of a theater run—but also, you know, without a soul. Carcass levels of absolute exhaustion.”

Bailey lights up at the prospect of getting back onstage and experiencing the kinetic energy between the actors, crew, and director. He believes that the emotional and intellectual rigor of theater leads to a tight, specific piece of work. It’s an art form that requires continuous creation night after night.

This stamina comes in handy in front of a camera, too. “When you’re exhausted, you have to rely on technique,” he explains. “Technique does get you over the finish line, and you can deliver a performance that is honest and tell the story effectively and truthfully.” 

Until then—and until he’s back on set with those fake dinosaurs—he’s going to soak up that Emmy-nomination afterglow for a little while longer. 

“I’m actually going to go and have another glass of wine to celebrate,” he says.

Source

[youmakemyhearthowl]

The first time Steve and Eddie actually get to hang out alone after all things Upside Down have been handled, Eddie leaves feeling justified in the fact that to him Steve Harrington is still a stuck up snob. It isn’t until after he runs his dilemma past Uncle Wayne that it really starts to set in that maybe, maybe Eddie was being the stuck up snob and not Steve.

“He’s got a point Ed’s.” He says it in that soft tone he only uses when he knows he’s saying something that might upset Eddie.

“What? Wayne you’re supposed to be on my side here.” Eddie’s arms fly out as he speaks, shooting a glare at his Uncle.

“Eddie, you of all people know how hard it can be to find your place, especially as a freshman, and basketball is important to Lucas. It was kinda a dick move the way you responded to them boys asking if they could postpone your game for one night.” Eddie let out a groan at his words, his face falling onto the table with a loud thud.

“We don’t postpone Hellfire Uncle Wayne. It’s literally never happened in the years I’ve run it, I wasn’t about to do it for a stupid fucking basketball game.” Wayne grunts.

“And that’s where your problem lies Eddie. It wasn’t some “stupid game” not for Lucas. It was important, and you brushed him aside and punished him for having an interest you don’t agree with. Which is exactly what everyone else was doing to you about your dragons game.” Eddie’s head snapped up his eyes landing on Wayne, wide and suddenly a little glassy. Because Wayne had a point. He had a really important point that Eddie hadn’t even stopped to really consider before. Which, fuck it was the exact point Steve had been trying to make, but Steve had a hard time with words and talking about feelings, he’d fumbled over them and stoped and started his explanation so many times that Eddie had just gotten mad and annoyed and didn’t really even try to listen.

And Eddie had been mean to Steve. Telling him to stop stuttering over it and to just “Spit it out Harrington, Jesus it’s not like it should be hard for you to be an asshole about my hobbies.”

Fuck Eddie was a dick. He’d been a dick to Lucas and Dustin and Mike too when they’d just wanted one night to support their best friend and he threatened to just kick them out of the club if they bailed. He’d acted just like the people he detested at school, the bullies and the jocks.

He had some apology’s to make.

Standing abruptly Eddie squeezed Wayne in a quick embrace whispering his thanks as he scrambled out the door of the trailer to his van.

His first stop needed to be the kids, because honestly, he wasn’t even sure where to start with his apology to Steve.

Because Eddie had been hanging out with Steve for weeks now in the group. Him, Robin, Steve, Nance and Jonathan as well as Argyle, hung out almost everyday. And Eddie knew Steve. Knew how fiercely he loved his friends and those kids, and how he tended to not talk a lot in big group settings because he always struggled to find the right words to articulate what he wanted to say. Needed extra time to sit on them to get them out the right way, and would shut down as soon as someone talked over him because he was taking too long.

Fuck.

The first time they’d finally gotten to hang out alone, Eddie had been so excited to really pick Steve’s brain, let him talk and give him the space to find the words or ask questions he needed to. And Steve and him had been having a great time until Steve had brought up the championship game. Stumbling and trying to tell Eddie that Lucas had felt isolated from the group now and like sometimes he didn’t fit with them anymore because Eddie had been a little mean to him because he was a basketball player too. And Steve hadn’t even been mean to Eddie about it either. Now that he thought about the few sentences Steve had been able to tumble through. Throwing in ‘I know you love that game and it’s important to you and the kids look up to you so much man, they love you.” And Eddie has just been an absolute monster back because he just assumed Steve was still King Steve and had been waiting and biding his time to come at Eddie. Fuck.

What was he even supposed to say to Steve now? He’d tried so hard to always make sure Steve felt he could still speak , make him feel safe and comfortable around Eddie and never stupid, because Eddie watched and paid attention to Steve way too much (it’s not a crush shut up) and then he’d just gone and ripped that rug out from under the poor guy, for standing up for his kids. Their kids.

“Eddie? What are you doing here man?” Lucas’s voice pulled Eddie out of his head as he parked the van in front of the Sinclair house, where Lucas, El and Dustin were apparently attempting to learn how to skateboard from Max.

“Hey uh, can we talk for a second man?” Eddie hadn’t felt this nervous since DMing his first campaign. Lucas nodded, coming over to stand next to Eddie who’d gotten out of the van and was leaning against the side now, arms crossed over his chest.

“Listen, I wanted to apologize. For how I acted in Hellfire, about you being on the basketball team.” He watches Lucas’s face closely, a look of surprise crossing the younger boy's face before he composes it.

“It’s cool Eddie, I mean I get it.”

“Nah man, listen. I was a royal dick to you. You were just trying to find your footing in high school and I didn’t make it any easier for you and that wasn’t cool of me. You’re always gonna be one of my lost sheep, and a member of Hellfire, and you’re allowed to have more than one interest . I shouldn’t have let my own insecurities and biases let me treat you like that. And I’m really sorry man.” He watched a myriad of emotions cross Lucas’s face before he settled on a small but happy smile.

“Well thank you Eddie. That really means a lot to me man. Hellfire’s really important to me. You are too. So thank you.” His smile grows as he speaks, before giving Eddie a quick hug and then running back off to join the others in their lessons. A sigh of relief makes Eddie’s whole body Sag.

One down, Steve to go.

Part Two here

[runninguplenorahills]

I just wanted to remind everyone that no matter how much better Lenora objectively was for Will than Hawkins, he was not happy there!

Will might’ve not been bullied in Lenora but he had no friends either which was not a deliberate decision btw. I see a lot of people claiming that Will could’ve made friends if he wanted to but didn’t because he rather spent time with El and I just don’t think that’s the case. Will is not an extroverted person who makes the first step when it comes to making new friends. He’s introverted in general and shy when he’s surrounded by people he doesn’t know so making friends is a struggle for him in general and has nothing to do with him sticking with El in Lenora. And while we don’t know anything specific about if Dustin and Lucas sent letters or called Will, we do know that Mike did not. Furthermore it’s canon that Jonathan wasn’t really there for Will during the time spent in Lenora either and while it is never specifically said it is heavily and obviously implied, it’s shown, that Will was in utmost need of his brother’s help and support! And El did not replace Jonathan in that aspect! Jonathan being distant from Will does not and did not equal Will and El becoming close on the level that Will and Jonathan are. I know I talk about this a lot (that willel isn’t as close in canon) but I just had to say it again because to me it seems really clear that a lot of people think that Jonathan not being there for Will somehow led to Will and El sticking together. Like it’s them against the world while that was never the case ever! Will did not once seek comfort in El because Will didn’t simply need a sibling, he needed Jonathan. Jonathan and Will have a close and deep bond and it’s unique because Jonathan isn’t just fulfilling the role of a sibling for Will. So Jonathan cannot just be replaced by another sibling or anyone at all. Point is, when Will realized Jonathan was being distant he started bottling up everything he wanted to talk about. He did not talk to El instead because quite frankly, they don’t have that kind of relationship (El also didn’t tell Will about her and Mike’s problems and the lying).

So Will had no friends in Lenora, he almost lost all connection to his closest friend whom he’s also in love with and his big brother whom he could always count on for support wasn’t really there for him either. Mike and Jonathan are literally the two people Will always knew he could trust with anything because he knew they’d understand in one way or another. But then neither of them was there for him anymore for reasons unknown to Will which lead him to feel as though he can’t talk to either of them anymore. He wanted to talk to them! Desperately! But he just couldn’t. And all of a sudden Will was all alone. Lenora wasn’t fresh and happy and so much better than Hawkins. Lenora was lonely.

Did Lenora allow more room for personal development due to the lack of the upside down and bullying/rumors? Of course it did. Will’s willingness to make and present a project about Alan Turing is hinting at some positive development. In that aspect Lenora was better for Will than Hawkins but in every other aspect it wasn’t, simply because Will was on his own.

The fact that Will felt lost and alone in Lenora is also important for byler’s love story btw. Will telling Mike that he felt lost without him throughout the months he’s spent in Lenora is so significant because it’s a reply to Mike telling Will: “It’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you.” Mike has called Hawkins his home throughout his entire life but once Will wasn’t there anymore the feeling of being at home left as well. And Will could move anywhere with his family but if Mike’s not there he feels lost nonetheless. The place where they feel like they belong is not a place at all, it’s the state of being together. Will feels found with Mike and Mike feels at home with Will. Mike makes Will feel better for being different and Will makes Mike feel like he’s not alone. Hawkins, Lenora, that doesn’t matter because it’s not about the place!

Will not being happy in Lenora without Mike is exactly as important as Mike not being happy in Hawkins without Will. Erasing that creates a different narrative, destroys the story they’re trying to tell. Simply because people are making it seem like Will can do just fine without Mike while Mike loses his mind without Will which is just not the case. The whole of s4 showed us that Will is not happy without Mike and that he needs him! Will literally tells Mike that he’d fall apart without him and still there are people that try to depict Will as having a good time in Lenora without Mike. Feeding into Mike’s insecurities and undermining Will’s love for Mike! And this is honestly something that makes my blood boil! People who constantly feel the need to undermine Will’s feelings for Mike are completely missing the point.

And this is kinda a different topic but I’ve seen this trend where people headcanon Will to have been on a sports team in Lenora and I just think that these people are once again missing a point that’s been made in the show. Will not being into sports serves a purpose in the telling of his story, It’s a story telling device. And while I do of course know that the focus is on baseball specifically, baseball seems to stand as a symbol for sports in general which then again are a symbol for conforming to society. Being into sports is what society thinks you should be into as a boy. “You shouldn’t like things just because people tell you you’re supposed to” is what Jonathan tells Will in s1 in regards to Will going to baseball games with Lonnie. Will does not like baseball = Will does not like sports = Will does not conform to societal standards. And Lonnie dragging him to the baseball/sports games is him trying to force Will to conform to societal standards. And Basketball was this big symbol of forced conformity in s4. Therefore being into sports and joining a team in Lenora totally defeats the purpose of a rather important story telling device in canon and therefore just isn’t compatible with the character. I’m of course well aware that Will wore a letterman jacket in the stranger things experience clips but owning a letterman jacket doesn’t automatically equal being on a sports team. It was a popular fashion item in the 80’s just like it is today. And I think it’s more likely that Will wore the jacket because he liked the jacket and not because he’s on a sports team because, again, that’d be missing the point. And as I said, the Alan Turing project hints at positive development while Will joining a sports team would hint at negative development so it simply doesn’t make sense for Will to have been on a sports team in Lenora.

[xmasterofmunsonx]

Now That We Don’t Talk

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader + Eddie Munson x reader (ex!Steve mostly)

Not for minors: includes drinking, language, mention of death of family members, etc. not for your eyes if you're under 18, please.

Word count: 13.5k (yikes !)

Author's note: One shot I've been sitting with this one since 1989 TV was released. I'm not 100% on this, but after reading and reading and editing even more, I think it's perfect and as best as I’m going to get. The pacing seems similar to the song, it gets quicker as it goes on, and has a nice abrupt ending. I hope you enjoy it, this one means a lot to me because I’ve put so much time and thought into it. I really thought the quick pacing at the end would ruin it, but like I said I wanted to mirror the quickness of the song. Totally open to some smaller one shots from this ~*universe*~ to elaborate more on any of the years or moments. I’d actually love that if anyone was interested in requesting anything 🩷

“You went to a party, I heard from everybody, you part the crowd like the Red Sea, don’t even get me started. Did you get anxious though, on the way home? I guess I'll never, ever know… now that we don't talk”

Summer 1987

You sighed, kicking your feet at the water in the pool. Your best friend Robin sat beside you, you both were sipping beers you’d practically been nursing all night at this house party you knew you’d have to drive your boyfriend home from. It was your last summer in Hawkins- hopefully forever.

Last spring you’d lost your mom in the “earthquake” of ‘86, and Robin’s family had taken you in until you figured out your plan. You were both reminiscing over the past year living together, and the previous years of the cursed things you and your group of friends had been through in Hawkins and the upside down- the losses, and the victories. Through all of it you’d been on and off with Steve after he’d dropped Nancy- you had her to thank for that one. You’d always had a thing for Steve, ever since middle school, but he only had eyes for Nancy and you knew you never stood a chance. It wasn’t until they broke up, you helped Steve’s wounded heart and then you two became a couple.

You fell in love quick- who wouldn’t? Steve was beautiful, and he was an absolute dream of a boyfriend. Minus the baggage of his stuck up family who hadn’t taken to you so kindly. You two had decided that moving together out of Hawkins would be the best thing for both of you, to leave the memories and nightmares behind, and start a new life somewhere.

You knew Steve was inside of the party, likely hanging out with his “friends,” drunk out of his mind like usual at these. For once he wasn’t hosting, this was a house equally as nice as his, but was some girl’s house from his senior year- but he was still, as always, the life of the party. You looked out across the yard to see that Nancy was rocking in a wooden swing in the back corner of the yard beside Jonathan and Eddie.

“I can’t believe he can still drink like this.” You finished off your beer, crushing the can beside you on the cold concrete surrounding the pool.

“Me neither. He’s doing okay?” Robin’s voice was laced with concern.

“Yeah. I mean, considering… he’s got his good days and bad days, but don’t we all?” Truth be told, Steve had kind of turned into a little bit of a mess. But everyone knew it, and you were all there for each other when you needed extra support.

“I just worry he’s gonna have a breakdown when he gets out of here and he actually has to work for things, aren’t you?” Robin spoke, and the thought had crossed your mind too, but you always seemed to push it out of your head.

“We’ve got everything lined up, thanks to good ole Harrington money.” You chuckled, annoyed but also a little thankful for the fact that he was still supported by his parents, equally just as shitty as they were absent from his life.

“Speaking of, have you laid eyes on him lately?” You checked the gold watch on your arm that had been a Christmas present last year, initials engraved into the inside of the dainty band around your wrist. You realized it had been quite some time since you’d seen him, but that wasn’t unlike him at a party this size. You would tend to be found outside away from everyone, and he would be inside seeking attention from everyone after a few beer.

“Been a minute, I’ll go check on him.” You stood to get up, but felt a hand pulling you up in assistance as your legs climbed out of the warm water of the pool.

“Better come with you, I gotta pee anyway.” Eddie suddenly appeared by your side. You two entered the party, tossing empty cans into the trash can in the crowded kitchen. “Hey, uh…” Eddie stepped in front of you. “Maybe let’s get some fresh air first?”

“Quit being weird, I need to make sure he’s not passed out somewhere already.” You tried to shove past him, but he wasn’t letting you by. “And fresh air? We were just outside.”

“Listen sweetheart, I don’t think-” his voice was deep, and quiet as he gently placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Eddie.” You stamped your foot like a child at your friend. “Move. I’ve seen him really fucking drunk before, we leave in a week, and I knew it was going to be bad tonight, but I can take care of him.” You peered around his frame, seeing what looked like a clear path parting in the sea of people.

It was all leading to your boyfriend Steve, with another girl sitting on his lap. The girl who just so happened to be hosting this party, a brown glass bottle on the coffee table pointed directly at where Steve sat on the couch.

Not only was this girl on top of him, but they were going at each other like feral animals in front of everyone at this party. You stood there, speechless as you watched. Her hands were pulling him in closer by his brown hair, the hair that you loved to absentmindedly play with, and his hands were splayed out across her back and you watched as they slid down to her ass, pulling her into him.

The chatter of the party, hoots and hollers by the shitty old jocks that peaked in high school had stopped, as did your heart as you felt it crumble in front of you. Everyone had realized you’d walked in the room except Steve himself.

“C’mon, I’ll get you home-” Eddie guided you backwards, but you shoved him forward.

“I don’t have a fucking home, Eddie!” You didn’t care who heard you. “HE was my home. How stupid was I to think that Steve fucking Harrington was my home, and we were supposed to start a new one together and leave this godforsaken, cursed, upside down town behind?! But that’s not happening now, is it, STEVE?!” You were screaming at this point. The girl straddling Steve was wiping lipstick and spit off of her face as she smirked at you, and Steve was horrified as he looked at you.

“Honey-” he started, using your favorite name for you that now made you feel more sour than sweet, as he pushed the girl off of his lap and made his way to you, you could see his dick was half hard in his too tight pants, “-it was just a game of spin the bottle, we-”

You kneed him in the balls and walked over to the girl who was still smirking as if making out with Steve was some accomplishment. “You can have him.” you told her as you ran out the front door of the gigantic house.

You had never felt so small. Steve always made you feel small, everything he had was big, but never did he make you feel this small. His house, new cars, big family events- when you only ever had your mom. And now, you didn’t even have her.

You heard the door slam behind you and you assumed it was Eddie, “Eddie, I’m fine to drive home.”

“I-I can’t leave Hawkins.” The voice clamored out.

You turned to see your coward of a boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend now, “What did you say?”

“I can’t leave.” He ran a stupidly large hand through his stupidly gorgeous hair. “I was going to tell you tomorrow, my parents told me that if I go, I’m cut off forever. Like, from everything.” He gestured in front of him as if he was showing you some grand image of his future.

“And? You decided to make me look like a fucking fool at a party, days before we’re leaving? How long have you known?”

“Just a few weeks.” He said as if it were nothing, as if it meant nothing to him.

“A few weeks, Steve?! You didn’t think you could tell me sooner? All of my shit is packed into boxes- fuck, you’re the one who helped me! And now you made me look like a goddamn idiot in front of everyone, which makes me want to leave even more now but I can’t! Steve, we’ve been planning this for months.”

“I’m really fucking drunk, and she climbed in my lap, and-“ he was slurring his words as he approached you.

“Bullshit, my friend.” Eddie had appeared out of nowhere, yet again. He placed his hand on your shoulder to gently push his way in front of you to keep you out of Steve’s line of sight. “I saw it through the sliding glass doors. You held your hand out like some type of a goddamn gentleman and welcomed her onto your lap like it was a golden throne.” His hands wildly waved in the air as he spoke. “Steve, you’ll never know what it’s like to lose everything. You’re too fucking scared to leave mommy and daddy’s silver platter of life they’ve handed you.” It was true- Steve had everything handed to him, and you knew Eddie had lost so much in his life like you had.

“What, so you’re just gonna turn on me like that, man?” Steve walked up to Eddie like he was intimidating, but Eddie never waivered.

“What am I supposed to do, man?” He mocked. “Nancy, Jonathan, and I all saw it. As soon as I saw she was getting up from the pool to come inside I tried to slow down what was happening so at least she didn’t have to see it, just hear about it, but your dick brain just kept on making out with her.”

You interrupted the boys bickering. “We’re done, Steve. I don’t care how drunk you are, it’s not an excuse. You knew that was fucked up, and we are done. Between that in there, and you being too much of a pushover to your parents, I can’t do this anymore. You can pick your shit up from Robin’s front porch in the morning. I’m still leaving.” You stomped past him to your car, not giving a single fuck about how anyone was getting home that night who depended on you. You knew they’d understand. And for all you knew, Steve had another bed already lined up for tonight.

“Baby, baby. Please. Stay so we can talk and figure this out-” Steve was practically pleading with you.

“There’s no more figuring this out, Steve. We’re done.” You tossed the gold watch onto the dewy grass outside of the window of your car, and drove off.

“You grew your hair long, you got new icons, and from the outside, it looks like you're tryin' lives on. I miss the old ways, you didn't have to change, but I guess I don't have a say… now that we don't talk”

Fall 1988

It had been over a year since you’d been back in Hawkins, and had it not been for Robin’s birthday, you might have gone another year. Or more.

You pulled up to the familiar house that was your home for a short while, to be greeted by her parents with big hugs.

“How’s the big city?” They both asked as they grabbed your bags from you.

“It’s uh, Chicago is a lot different. But it’s good.” You smiled. You were doing great for yourself and had managed to swing a job at a venue/bar that more than enough covered bills, and you had been promoted to a manager position that you proved yourself perfect for once you started bringing in bands that you made commission off ticket sales. “Keeps me busy, that’s why it’s been so hard to get back home. But I couldn’t miss my best friend’s birthday, so here I am!”

“Your bed is already made, so stay as long as you want to. Or can, whichever. Robin’s upstairs getting ready.” You thanked them and skipped up the stairs to her room, the door cracked open and you could hear her on the phone mumbling and then saying goodbye as you chose to open the door.

“Wow, you look-” she turned around with a grin on her face as she saw you appear in her doorway.

“Tired? Old?” You laughed at yourself.

“Hot.” She looked you up and down, and you guess you’d changed your look some since you moved. You leaned more into the style you wanted to in the freedom of your new city, adorning your skin with a few of the tattoos you had always wanted, wearing darker and edgier clothes. There weren’t as many judgmental eyes like you’d been under in Hawkins, especially like when you were dating Steve.

“Thanks. You look the same, but more… you. But of course, not a day older.” You hugged your friend and kissed her on the cheek. “So what are the plans for tonight? Dinner, then…?”

“Dinner, then Hideout? Eddie’s playing a show tonight and it’s almost sold out.” She stated as she finished up her lipstick.

“What?!” Your jaw dropped, you’d kept in touch with almost everyone, including him, but he’d completely left that out of his phone calls updating you on his life. “Sold out? I mean, they’re good but-”

“He just got signed by a small label in uh, in Chicago. So everyone is really excited, it’s kind of a big deal show for them.”

“What?! Why wouldn’t he tell me that?!” You and Eddie had regular phone calls- they had become weekly, sometimes a few times a week just to catch up with each other.

“Don’t tell him I told you, he really wanted to tell you tonight but you know I can’t keep a secret, so I had to tell you before dinner. Also, Steve-is-coming. So the show is basically their congratulations on signing, and my birthday dinner is how we got you back here to celebrate both. Because we knew you wouldn’t come back for any other reason.” Robin couldn’t have talked any faster than she was, and once you realized everything she had said, your stomach sank.

“That’s fine, I kind of expected that he’d be there. I know you guys are still friends.” You’d gotten over Steve- sort of. The guys in Chicago were hotter- way hotter, and you were meeting plenty of distractions to take your mind off of how Steve had broken your heart. You just… hadn’t talked to him in over a year. You knew very little about what was going on with him except for the fact that he was following in his dad’s footsteps, and you didn’t really care to know much more than that either. “Just promise you’ll sit beside me at dinner.”

“Got you covered. That was Eddie on the phone, he’s gonna sit on one side of you, and I’ll sit on the other. Steve is bringing his girlfriend since he’s back home for the show, too.”

“Is it…”

“Yeah, it’s her.” Robin looked sad as she admitted the truth. “Don’t worry. You look way hotter than her, and you’re not a shit person. Steve’s here like once a month anyway just to see her, so-”

“What do you mean by he’s here once a month?”

“He moved to Indianapolis, his dad got him a job there like last fall? I think? It wasn’t long after you left. And he comes home all the time to visit her since she’s finishing out college here.”

“Oh, so he can move to a big city as long as he’s got a big time girlfriend back home? Nice logic.” You rolled your eyes as you two made your way to your car.

Enzo’s was the only nice restaurant in Hawkins, and it had survived the “earthquake,” so they were still in their original location in the center of town. The big booth had been reserved for your group of friends and you were actually buzzing with a little bit of excitement to see them.

“Hi!!” Nancy peeked around the booth, and you stood up to hug her and Jonathan, and they slid back into their spots.

“Damn, look at you!” Eddie held you at arms length with his Cheshire Cat grin on his face before he pulled you in for a hug, and you wrapped your arms tight around him.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” You bickered back at him. You lightly threw a punch to his bicep, “I heard we’re gonna be neighbors?”

“You told her?!” His big brown eyes looked to Robin, who shrugged, as you three slid into the round booth, leaving two spaces on the other side for Steve and his date.

“Can’t keep a secret! You know me!” Robin shouted over you at Eddie as you watched his face turn a light shade of pink.

You patted his leg resting by yours, “I’m really happy for you. If you need a place to play, I know someone that can hook you up, you know that?”

“I mean, I wasn’t gonna ask but-” You let out a chuckle at Eddie’s bashfulness that hadn’t changed one bit. You knew the guy in charge of booking bands would trust you to do anything at this point, so he would definitely get Eddie on the regular schedule to get more buzz going for him.

“I only have one other person to run that by, and I’ve got him wrapped around my finger. Don’t worry about it.” You felt his hand drop down to yours with a squeeze, at the same time Steve was walking up to the table. You took in his looks- his hair had grown longer, his choice of dress that had once relaxed was cleaned up more than ever. “Where’s your date? Or did you think this was a business meeting?”

Everyone held in chuckles as you roasted Steve’s attire and he looked at you with no semblance of a laugh.

“Robin said Enzo’s, so I dressed nice!” He defended himself as he sat down.

“Oh that’s right, daddy still buys your wardrobe too, so you probably didn’t have anything else to wear.”

“Hey, hey.” Eddie leaned in to whisper in your ear, hand still atop of yours, “Let up on him. This is Robin’s birthday. Now, at my show, you can tear him to shreds.” He winked at you as he leaned back into his seat, not letting his grip go.

Dinner went as expected, actually better, you were all laughing and joking like you hadn’t been absent the entire last year. You avoided Steve’s gaze all night, focusing on anyone else who was talking, and you looked at your food when he spoke up.

A small cake was brought out for Robin, and all of you sang happy birthday with smiles on your faces as Eddie put on a complete show for everyone in the restaurant, for which he received applause for. He was never one to care about what anyone thought of him, but it still surprised you he had the confidence to be so loud in such a nice setting.

“Separate or together?” The waitress came around after everyone had finished their meals and cake.

Steve reached for his wallet, “I’ve got everyone.”

“No, I’ll get mine.” You reached for your wallet, but a familiar hand stopped you.

“I’ll get the two of us, and he can get everyone else.” Eddie spoke, handing the waitress cash. The table was awkwardly silent.

“Smoke?” You asked him, and he gladly nodded his head, and you forced Robin to get up, so you two could go outside for a moment. “So what was that check thing about?” You held your cigarette to your lips, and Eddie leaned in with his zippo to light yours for you before he lit his.

“Just wanted to remind him what an ass he can be sometimes. You smoke now, big city?”

“Comes with the territory, I guess.” You rolled your eyes and laughed as you both smoked half of your cigarettes on the quiet sidewalk. You stared down at some of the repaved concrete and traced the cracks where the old met the new. “When are you and the guys moving?”

“Well, I was going to ask you. So Robin must have left out that the label kinda… only signed me. Like just me, and they’re setting me up with a band. So I’ve gotta be there as soon as possible to sit in on auditions and-” he was absentmindedly scratching his head as he was talking 90 miles a minute.

“What? Only you? What about the rest of the guys?”

“They’re actually pretty cool with it. They don’t want to move or anything, they want to stay here. I think they’re too afraid to leave their families after everything, and-”

“What about Wayne?” Your heart was a little broken thinking about him leaving Wayne behind.

“Couldn’t be more thrilled for me. He’s still livin’ off that Hawkins Lab hush money, so he’s part time and can come see me whenever he wants.” He took a long drag, before he looked away, then back at you. “Anyways, I was going to ask, I know it’s last minute but can I crash at your place for a tiny little while?” He now scratched at the stubble on his chin and raised his eyebrows in question.

“Eddie, I only have a studio apartment. It’s like, right above the bar.” You thought of how cramped it might be with the two of you living there. You’d come to love your small studio, and you were never interested in ever really sharing your space.

“I know, you’ve told me. I won’t get in your way, I’ll hardly be home when you are. And as soon as I’m there for a few weeks and figure out where I want to stay, I’ll get a lease. I just need some time to look around for somewhere reasonable. I promise in- in maybe less than a month? They gave me a big enough sign on I can pay for your whole month of rent, too. I’m just-“ he stuttered, “I’m actually pretty nervous about going somewhere I don’t know anyone, and I think having a little piece of home with me would be good to keep me centered.” He dropped and kicked out his cigarette at his humble confession, and raised his hands in surrender. “But I totally get it if you don’t want me in your hair everyday, I’ll just get a hotel and-”

You thought about it for a few moments, and you realized it may not be that bad to have Eddie around. You two got along fine, and you talked about mostly everything already so you could cut out the weekly phone calls if he was already there. “You can stay. As long as you need. I’ve got a pull out couch with a mattress, so you’re in luck. I don’t need help with rent, but you gotta keep the place clean, and no random people coming home. I don’t let any of my dates or the regulars at the bar know I live up there because things can get weird, and I like laying low. So if you wanna get with anyone, you gotta do it somewhere else.”

“Oh yeah, because I’m totally swimming in pussy right now.” He scoffed as you two walked back inside, and you were thankful he led the way in because your cheeks were tinted pink at his sarcastic comment. By now, everyone was standing up from the table to head over to the venue for Eddie’s show. You all split up into your separate cars.

“So, did he ask you about moving in?” Robin couldn’t even wait for the car door to shut before she started questioning you.

“Jesus, do you know everything?” You started your car and drove towards the Hideout.

“Yes. I do.” Robin said, excitedly.

“Yes, he did. I told him he can stay there as long as he needs to. Just no random girls or parties or anything.” You left out the comment he’d made about girls,maybe wanting to save it for another day.

“I told him you’d say yes.” She looked out the window, “so… Steve?” You looked at her and shrugged, “what do you think?”

“He looks different. Like he’s just turning into his dad already. Everything he hated, everything he wanted to get away from with me. He’s turning into it.”

“Yeah, he’s uh, a piece of work. Have you thought about talking to him?”

“I have no interest in that. I don’t need to talk to him.” You shut down the conversation as you turned your radio up, driving the back roads to the sketchy bar you hadn’t been to in what felt like years.

-

“Shots on me!” Steve slammed down another round of tequila shots on the sticky high top bar table you all had sat at to have a good view of the stage. You grabbed one and toasted as Steve remarked smartly, “Oh, so you’ll take alcohol from me, but not dinner? I see how it is.” Your crew were all feeling a bit loose already, the drinks at the Hideout were cheap and you were all buying rounds back to back. You rolled your eyes and shot him the bird as the tequila burned down your throat.

Eddie’s band started playing moments later, and the whole bar crowd turned their attention to the stage. He introduced themselves, announced his new plans, and everyone cheered for him. You were beaming at your friend, the town “freak” who was finally getting his shot at what he wanted in life, and people were seeing him for who he was and not what he was known for that was never true.

“Grabbing another one, you good?” You asked Robin over the loud music as you nudged her shoulder. She shook her head and you got up, pushing your way through the crowd to the bar. You felt a hand on your lower back as you waited for the only bartender to come over to you and jumped, immediately pushing the hand away.

“Couldn’t let you go alone.” Steve was standing entirely too close to you for comfort.

“I’m a big girl, Steve. I’m just fine.” You told your drink order to the bartender after Steve did, leaving you two with a few moments of silence.

“You look good. Like, really good.” You watched as he ran his hands through his hair while he obviously checked you out, clearly nervous to be seeing you again. You caught him staring at the tattoos peeking through your sheer black top.

“Thanks? I guess now that I don’t have to impress anyone’s parents I get to dress how I want.” You were feeling a little extra sarcastic and snippy tonight, but you were a few drinks in and didn’t care.

“Can you cut the shit like that?” He immediately came back at you with sassiness.

“No, Steve. It’s been a year, I had to move on and you broke my fucking heart and I had to fix it myself. You fucked this up on your own.”

“Can I fix it?” He reached for your hand, but you pulled it back.

“No, you can’t. I don’t need you to make things better.”

“Listen, I know I fucked up. Everything here reminds me about it. I regret it all the time- but just think about all the bullshit we’d been through. I wasn’t in a good place.”

“Think about all the bullshit we went through? Steve, I was there too, and on top of it all, I lost my mom. All the more reason for you to not cheat on me- you do realize that was wrong to do to me after everything we’d just had happen to us? I wasn’t okay either, I’m still not sometimes, but I know cheating on my boyfriend wasn’t going to be the proper way to deal with things.”

“I should’ve told you sooner, I shouldn’t have done anything that I did. But you know how my parents are, honey.” He pleaded with his big, soft eyes as the word made bile rise in your throat.

“You have absolutely no right to ‘honey’ me, Steve.” You scoffed. You suddenly remembered his date had never shown up. “Your girl stand you up?”

“No, she can’t stand metal so she’s going to come near the end of the set so she can hang out. It would be nice if you could be cordial.” Steve scratched at his bicep- he’d taken off his nicer shirt and jacket, and was now just in his solid undershirt and his well fitting pants to not stand out as much here.

“Cordial, Steve!? I have to be cordial to the girl you were fucking behind my back, the girl who attempted to ruin my plans to get out of this town? Because guess what? I found out you were a bullshitter about that too. I don’t know how you can stay here or visit so much Steve. I’m so scared something is going to turn to red and dust falling from the sky before my eyes and I’ve not even been here a full day.” You were immediately mad at yourself for confessing something so big to Steve. “I’m not going to be mean, but I’m not trying to make a new friend.”

“I’m sorry.” He solemnly said as he took a sip from his fresh drink. “I’m scared of those things too, I still see it if I close my eyes for too long sometimes.”

“Yeah? Well, I also still see the smug look on her face when I walked into the house that night.” You grabbed your drink and made your way back to the table, where Robin had been watching the interaction the whole time. Steve quietly joined the table a few moments later looking like a hurt puppy, and then he stepped away, leaving his drink.

“You good?” Your friend nudged you in the side.

“Not really, no. But I got some things off my chest, so at least I can say I talked to him.” You drank the rest of your drink down in a few sips, and looked to the stage to distract yourself. “I did say I’d be… not mean once she gets here. But I can’t make any promises.” You started replaying memories of the last time you saw Steve in your head, and you could feel the resentment surfacing again- you remembered the shame you felt when the whole party was looking at you yelling at him, the proud look on the girl's face when she realized that you’d seen the two of them.

Eddie was looking at you with concern. He subtly motioned for you to come over to him. The stage at the Hideout was barely considered a stage, so it didn’t take much for you to get to him, and since he was in between songs, he crouched down while the rest of the guys checked their instruments.

“We got two more songs, wanna go sit in the back? There’s a couch, and more tequila, and no Steve.” You nodded at him, holding back some tears of frustration. “It’s okay, I’ll be there in a bit.” You nodded as he patted your head, ruffling your hair up a little as he stood tall to continue onto the next song.

You sat on the questionable couch in the back room of the Hideout while the muffled music continued on- you’d been back here a few times before but never by yourself, and “security” knew who you were so you were immediately let back. It felt weird, and you felt bad for leaving your friends but you really weren’t in the mood to talk about the past, or try to reconcile it especially since Steve was still with the girl he cheated on you with. Your thoughts were interrupted by Eddie bursting through the door, and then he quickly shut it.

“Hey.” He was out of breath, almost panting as if he’d run back to get to you as quickly as he could but you knew it was from the performance he was giving on stage. “You alright?”

You wiped a tear that was trying to fall as he walked in. “Yeah, I’m fine. He tried talking to me at the bar and I’m just… I’m not interested in trying to keep any type of friendship going between the two of us.” You watched as Eddie wiped the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt, revealing his abdomen that was littered with scars from ‘86. Your stomach sank at the memories. “You would think after everything he’s been through- we’ve been through, he would’ve changed his ways but I guess he hasn’t.”

“Fuck him. I mean- obviously don’t… you already did, but, forget about him.” He poured two shots and handed one to you, you probably shouldn’t take it but the night wasn’t ending anytime soon- they were kicking everyone out of the bar and keeping it open later for the band “and friends”, so you knew you’d be here a while tonight. The tequila burned as it went down, and you wiped your mouth on your am as you handed Eddie the shot glass back.

“It’s hard to forget about him when you guys are still friends with him and I have to hear about him. I always tune it out. I didn’t ever want anyone to take sides. I was an idiot tonight and brought up how I hate being back here, and being so afraid of something else happening from the upside down, and I just feel so dumb for letting him in.”

“You heard me that night, he’s too much of a pussy to leave the comfort of his parents pocket. And I stay away from him as much as I can, I don’t need a charge under my belt after getting my name cleared.”

“Ugh, why does he have to be so fucking pretty though?” Your drunk thoughts were leaving your mouth before you realized it. You thought about his golden blonde highlights, his warm eyes, and how his clothes always fit him just right.

“Because he’s Steve Harrington and that’s who he is.” Eddie plopped down beside you. “You’re really fucking pretty too, though.”

You rolled your eyes and lightly hit Eddie’s arm again, “Stop it. I already said you can crash at my place, you don’t have to get all sweet on me.”

“No, I mean it.” Eddie was looking at you as you looked to your side at him. “You’ve always been pretty, and I’ll be sweet on you if I wanna be.”

“Munson, you don’t have to keep flattering me to make me feel better.” He was one of your close friends too, but he’d been there for you when Steve hadn’t been. He called to check on you all of the time, sometimes more than Robin.

“I’m not just trying to flatter you, I mean it. You’re stunning and you look beautiful tonight.” His hand rested atop yours and gave it a light squeeze, making butterflies appear in your belly.

You mentally told yourself you couldn’t do this again- start crushing on a close friend, and potentially lose them. Especially with him about to be signed to a label and getting better known. Your brain was already running a thousand miles a minute with the way he was looking at you.

“You think so?” You asked with a smirk, and you saw a glimmer in his eye. “Well, you certainly have aged well in the time I’ve been gone too, Mr. Rockstar.”

“Oh yeah?” His voice got deeper as he scooted closer to you and let out a small chuckle. “In one year?”

“I’m too drunk to answer that right now.” You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Oh no, I love drunk you. I get all the juicy gossip from you after a few drinks. You think I’m not too bad now, eh?”

“You heard me.” You said, facing him and crossing your arms.

“Yeah, I did. And I kinda wanna hear it again.” Was this really happening? In the back room of the Hideout? You’d been a little flirty on the phone with him sometimes, but it was hard to read into what he really meant without seeing him, and you never knew with Eddie because he was always a flirt with everyone.

“I said you weren’t bad, Munson.” You felt your face warming up. “Always thought you were cute, but I was too wrapped up in Steve-”

“‘S just Eddie, sweetheart.” He looked cocky as he interrupted you and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear- a classic, cheesy move that made you blush. He looked… good. His curls were wild and untamed, but you could tell he had started to take better care of them recently because they were more defined. His jaw was sharper, his face was capable of growing some more facial hair. His features were showing a little more- the wrinkles by his eyes, the subtle dimples, more freckles. How were you suddenly this close to him?

“Is this a bad idea?” You asked out loud to him.

“I don’t think so.” He stroked your cheek with his thumb and shook his head. “At least not for tonight, let’s have a little fun, yeah?”

You nodded, and leaned in and kissed him. You never made the first move, so you didn’t know how much to put into the first kiss. You felt hesitant, but once you were pulled in more by Eddie’s grip on either side of your face, all hesitancy fell to the wayside. You felt dizzy from the passion that he kissed you with. Both of his hands were practically squeezing your face, and you took the queue to straddle his lap, and he let out a sigh as you rested your weight on his thighs.

“Been wantin’ to kiss you for years now, Jesus Christ.” He chuckled against your lips. “Harrington was so fucking stupid to lose you.” He leaned in again, and you allowed him to take over.

“Alright people let’s go- oh! Oh! It’s happening!” Robin opened the door, making you pull back from Eddie quickly.

“Shut up, Buckley.” Eddie turned to shoo her away, and you blushed at your seat upon Eddie’s lap. “We were just talking.”

“You look awfully close to me. Listen, Steve’s girl is out there now, and I’d rather watch paint dry than sit out there and talk to them. Come out and have some fun, please!” She whined as the two of you stood up.

“Give us a minute, Robin.” You pushed her out of the door and closed it. As soon as you turned around, Eddie was cornering you against the door. “What?” You blushed.

“Didn’t get to finish that kiss.” He grasped you by the side of the neck and pulled you into his lips, hungrier, and needier than the first two times. You were breathing heavily into the heated kiss as your hands roamed his body, he was sweaty but you didn’t care- you were too, from the crowded room earlier. “We can talk later, just wanted to test the waters first.” He smirked as he pecked your lips and reached for the door handle behind you.

As you exited the tiny room, Eddie’s hand fell to your side, where he laced his pinky finger with yours and guided you through the shrinking crowd to the bar.

“Water?” He asked you, pulling your hand up to the bar and lacing his fingers with yours, proudly.

“Yeah, for now.” You said, a sheepish smile on your face. You felt a pair of eyes on you from the corner of the bar where Steve sat with his girlfriend, and you ignored them and focused on the water that the bartender had given you.

“Just ignore him. They’ll leave soon anyway, she doesn’t feel safe here or some bullshit like that. I gotta go pack up my stuff really quick, you good to stay here?” He had moved his hand to your lower back, and you nodded. “M’kay. I’m out back if you need me.” He placed a quick kiss on your cheek, then jogged away.

“Details, please.” Robin quickly replaced Eddie, turning her body completely to you, giving Steve her back.

“What?”

“Oh, come on! You two were kissing!” She was yelling unnecessarily, used to the loudness of the bar before people had emptied out, and you leaned forward to put your hands over her mouth. “And that, before he just left?!”

“SHHHHHH!! So what? I’m a little drunk, and he looks reeaaally good tonight.” You two giggled, “He’s a really good kisser.”

“Knew he had it in him. He’s been talking about seeing you again for weeks. MONTHS! I figured he would’ve tried kissing you at dinner when you two walked out, but-”

“Robin, how can you not tell me that he had a crush on me?!” You wanted to squeeze your best friend.

“How could you be so blind?! He told me it started in high school. Then you started dating Steve, and he got mixed up into our group and he felt bad about his crush because you were with Steve, so he never thought he’d have a chance but now everything is just… falling into place. Meant to be.” Robin was out of breath again because she was talking so quickly and you just laughed at her spilling the details out so quickly- it reminded you of how Eddie would talk when he got really excited about things too.

“You really thought he had no feelings for you? Why do you think that metal head idiot called you almost every day for the last year? To make sure you were okay? No, he likes you. He really, really likes you.” Your friend told you as you turned around to see Eddie walking out the back door of the bar, catching a glimpse of you before he walked outside, carrying his equipment.

-

Somehow you found yourselves at a house party, because of course, you always did. And it was at Steve’s girlfriends house, because of course it was. God only knows how late it was now, the Hideout had kicked you out earlier. Eddie had driven your car to the house- he’d had the least amount to drink, and you and Robin had sat in the backseat and giggled the whole way. You completely missed the way he was watching and admiring you in the rear view mirror for the 15 minute drive back to town.

“I can’t believe that I thought this was what I wanted.” You drank the mystery juice out of the red cup and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at all of the same people you remembered from school. You noticed how more people were high fiving Eddie, or saying hey to him instead of just calling him “freak”, or using him to buy weed while you two stood together.

“It’s comfortable, it’s stable. You haven’t had much stability your whole life, so I can understand the appeal.” Eddie took a puff from his joint and you politely declined, afraid to mix the two tonight since you were already so deep into drinking alcohol.

“I know but still. This house is fucking gorgeous, you know? They never have to worry about anything like bills, or-”

“But look at how unhappy they are.” Eddie said, pointing out the lack of smiles on some of the party goers.

“You’re just saying that because you’re high and happy right now.”

“No, I’m not. I’m saying that because it’s the truth. They’ve got all the money in the world but they’re still so fucking miserable with themselves they’ve got to keep throwing parties to relive the old days and feel like they’re peaking again.” Eddie rambled on for some more time as you caught yourself staring at Steve. The way his mouth turned up when he smiled- why was it so charming still? “Helloooooo?” Eddie bumped your hip beside you, and you stopped staring immediately.

“Sorry. Zoned out for a bit. Can you hold my drink while I go to the bathroom?” You handed him your cup and he took it, but you giggled as he took a sip and almost gagged on it at the sour, bitter taste.

You were doing the thing in the bathroom where you stared at yourself and realized how drunk you really were. Fuck. You fixed your hair, and washed your hands, and as soon as you opened the door, there was another force behind it that opened it and they let themselves into the bathroom.

Of fucking course, it was Steve Harrington. And you were entirely too drunk for this.

“Like what you see? Saw you staring.” You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but blush. He placed his hands on your waist gently and waited for a reaction from you. When you gave him none, he took a step closer. “Only got a few minutes, what do you say? I saw the way Munson was all over you. Probably tried to get his paws on you backstage, didn’t he?” Steve started kissing your neck and you knew you should’ve pushed him off, but fuck did his mouth feel good, and familiar.

“Yeah, and he did.” You fought a moan, but lost once he reached the spot on your neck that drove you wild. It was a secret spot, Steve had found it one afternoon while you guys were lazily making out in his bed, under the sheets, and he used it all the time.

“Bet he didn’t make you feel this good, did he?”

“Steve, you’ve got a girl-”

“She’s upstairs puking right now. I missed you.” He said as he continued attacking your neck. You draped your arms around his neck and he refocused his attention to you. “Please, can I kiss you?”

You should’ve said no, you should’ve walked out before you leaned in and answered his question without saying a single word. The kiss was hot and heavy, Steve’s lips felt different than Eddie’s- they were smoother, and his kiss was softer. You weren’t sure you liked it anymore, but you kept on. His hands roamed your body, and he moaned as he felt you up, your body feeling different than the last time he’d seen you. Your fingers went to his thick, chocolate brown hair and you ran your nails through his scalp, earning a moan from him.

“Fuck I missed you.” He looked at you, and even though he was also drunk, you could tell he meant it.

“Yeah.” You panted, and dodged his next kiss. “I-I can’t do this, Steve. You completely crushed me. I just got over you, I can’t give this another try. I can’t believe I let myself kiss you.” You still had your arms around him, and your fingers were toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“C’mon, honey. You know me better than anyone. I can’t tell her any of this shit I’ve been through, she’ll think I’m fucking crazy.”

“You should have thought about that before you kissed her.” You pecked him on the cheek and left the bathroom, fixing yourself as best as you could as you made your way back to the kitchen. Eddie was making a small deal in there, and his eyes immediately caught yours. You hesitated for him to finish, and he tilted his head to go outside, and you pushed through the familiar sliding glass doors to wait on him.

“Feel good after that?” He asked, his hands tucking into his jacket pockets. “Couldn’t have made that anymore obvious, honey.” The nickname was laced with venom.

“Eddie, I- I really did have to pee, then he came in there to talk and I-”

“The door get jammed? You couldn’t unlock it? Had to make out with king Steve in the bathroom for the door to unlock?” He coughed out a laugh. “I can't believe I thought you might’ve actually been over him.”

“I wish it were you.”

“You know, I know I jumped into the gang pretty late so I missed the beginning history of you two, but-”

You lunged forward at Eddie, shutting him up for once. “Shut up, we made out and all I thought about was how I wish it was you I was kissing, not him.”

“You mean it?” He asked you, his eyebrows raised.

“Yes, Munson.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Can Robin get a ride home without you?”

“Probably, why?” You asked as the taller, curly haired boy made himself impossibly closer to you- you could still smell the show on him, the sweat, the spilled alcohol, the cigarettes, and you wanted it.

“Because you’re mine tonight, if nothing else. I wanna take you back to my place. Go find her, I’ll be waiting in your car.”

“O-okay.” You nervously answered him and walked back into the house. “Robin!” You pulled her away from a few people.

“Word travels fast. You better get out of here soon, because she already heard about you and Steve.”

“Perfect. Can you get home?”

“Yeah, I can, where are you going?”

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You jogged out of the house, and towards your car where Eddie was sitting with it already cranked up and running. “She can find a way home, she said.”

“Say less, my dear.” Eddie put his hand on the back of your headrest as he looked back to reverse out of the parking spot in front of the house, then he sped off to the direction of his and Wayne’s shared house. You knew Wayne worked nights still from all of your late night conversations with Eddie.

Your stomach turned thinking about what was going on right now, what was about to happen. And he must’ve known, or been able to read your mind.

“We don’t have to do anything but sleep- I’ll even sleep on the couch. I just wanted you out and away from him. I can’t see you getting hurt by him again.” His hand rested on your knee, and his thumb rubbed gentle circles as he drove.

“But you said-”

“I know what I said, but I’m high and horny as hell, but I can keep my dick in my pants unlike someone else we know. And you look too fucking good tonight, you told me you got some tattoos but you didn’t tell me you had this many? S’driving me wild.”

You blushed as you watched Eddie run a hand through his hair, something he did when he was nervous. “You left out that you were even more handsome than ever, too.” You commented back, but it wasn’t even the top of surface of what you could say about Eddie and how he’d changed over the last year. You got to his house, the porch light was the only one on, and he hurried with you to the front door since the fall air was creeping in and you weren’t appropriately dressed for it.

“What about your van?” You asked as you walked in, and kicked off your black boots.

“I’ll get it in the morning, they’re used to me leaving it overnight sometimes.”

“Thought you weren’t drowning in pussy, Munson?” You joked as you approached him, your arms reaching up and wrapping around his neck, as his pulled you in by your waist.

“I’m not, but I could be if you’d let me. And I told you, quit with the last name shit. I like hearing my name out of those pretty lips.” Alright, he was smooth. You’d give him that. You both leaned in and continued making out, feeling each others bodies over clothes, shedding jackets on the floor, before he broke the kiss and guided you back to his room. “I swear I wasn’t expecting any guests so just give me a few and I’ll clean up.”

“Honestly it’s fine, I think I’m a little bit too drunk for anything tonight anyway, but don’t think I’m not interested-”

“Hey, I told you that’s fine.” He kissed the top of your head. “I am gonna have to shower and take care of some things before I go to bed but I’ll grab you a shirt so you don’t have to sleep in this getup tonight.” He roamed around his room and gathered a soft Iron Maiden shirt for you, and a pair of plaid boxers from a drawer. “Can’t promise the shirt is clean but I haven’t sweat in it, but it’s the softest one I have.” He tossed them at you before he left to shower, and you changed into them and tucked yourself into his bed.

“Hey.” You felt a gentle nudge on your shoulder, waking you up. My god, the sight that greeted you. Eddie was sitting on the side of his bed, his hair towel dried, he was shirtless, in a pair of boxers, and you could see more tattoos on his torso mixed in with all of his scars. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He chuckled. “Want me to sleep out there? It’s up to you.”

“Nu uh.” You peeled back the comforter and sheets for him and he climbed in, laying down and facing you.

“I need a tattoo tour tomorrow.” He said through a grin. “Show me yours if you show me mine?”

You rolled your eyes, “Fine.”

Eddie tucked hair out of your face and looked at you. “Meant it when I said you were beautiful.”

“I’m sorry I kissed Steve tonight.” You felt terrible about it, honestly.

“It’s fine. I almost expected it. The dude gave you no closure. But I can say it feels good to know you wished it were me you were kissing and not him.”

“I don't have to pretend I like acid rock, or that I'd like to be on a mega yacht with important men who think important thoughts. Guess maybe I am better off now that we don't talk. And the only way back to my dignity was to turn into a shrouded mystery, just like I had been when you were chasing me, guess this is how it has to be now that we don't talk.”

Chicago->Hawkins, 1989

“Hey, babe. I made coffee. You gotta get up, the studio needs me in an hour, then we gotta leave.” You groaned as you were being woken up, you had worked the bar until 3 am the night before and stayed until almost 4 cleaning up the huge mess. Eddie had left the bar around midnight because he had some recording to do today before you left for Hawkins- Dustin and his friends were all graduating this weekend and you couldn’t miss it.

“But it’s only 10, please let me sleep some more.” You rolled over in your cozy bed, letting the comforter swallow you now that no one else was in it.

Eddie’s month-long stay ended up never ending. You had a breakdown at the thought of him leaving and not being in your apartment every day. He’d slept on the couch for a few weeks, and then one night you told him how you really felt.

The two of you’s relationship had intensified quickly, and progressed to dating after a month of being around each other. It was your first relationship that felt right, that fell into place so easily without any drama, and you were happy.

“You know good and well if I leave you asleep you’re not going to get up. I’m only going to be there for an hour, I just have to sign off on a few things. You still have to finish packing too.” He kissed your forehead as he handed you the warm cup of coffee.

“Do we have to go?” You pouted over your first sip. You wanted to see your friend’s graduation, but you dreaded the inevitable. And Eddie had promised to play a show back at home with the guys, so you’d be spending a few nights there.

“Yes. We do. I mean, you can stay, but you’ll get awfully lonely here, dontcha think?” He leaned in and winked, “remember what happened last time I said I was going to leave?”

“I guess so.” You groaned as you sipped the coffee. “What if I see him?”

“What if? Baby, you don’t need to worry about it.” He placed his hand on your thigh, which was covered by your comforter. “It’s been so long ago, and he’s just there to see the kids graduate too. We’ve avoided him any other time we’ve gone back to see them, haven’t we? He’s not like a monster that’s gonna get you or anything.”

“No, but he’s Steve fucking Harrington and he knows how to ruin a good time.”

Eddie sighed in defeat. He knew how anxious seeing your ex made you, there was nothing you or him could do about it. He changed the way your friend group was forever after he hurt you.

“You get to see Robin though, and we get to stay at her new place!” He tried to cheer you up. “Babe, I really gotta go. Finish packing, take a shower, and I’ll be home before you know it.” He pecked your lips before he left you lying in bed with your coffee and a tummy full of anxiety.

-

“Presenting the class of 1989!” Principal Higgins announced over the loudspeaker in the gymnasium. You both stood up to applaud the class as you watched them throw their hats in the air- something you remember doing, and you felt Eddie’s arm wrap around you as he pulled you in for a hug.

“You know, I would've shot Huggins the bird if I wouldn’t have been in the hospital.” Eddie leaned in to make you laugh.

“I know. You’ve told me, multiple times. At least you got your diploma.”

“Yeah, because he was sick of me and my satanic worship cult.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled as the two of you exited the gym, waiting for your friends to meet up with you.

Robin and Nancy found you both quickly, giving you gigantic hugs, and asking you questions about how you were doing. A few minutes later, the graduates had made their way over and you watched as Eddie’s smile reached his eyes and he almost squeezed the life out of Dustin. You could tell how proud he was of him, even though he was one of the smartest kids you both had ever known.

You gave him a hug next, “Proud of you, kid.”

“I’m not a kid! I’m an adult now, you know that? I’m going to college soon!”

“Still just little dusty buns to us.” You said and you were pulled into Eddie’s side quickly, almost knocking you off balance. You were used to his clinginess by now, so it didn’t make you think twice about it until you saw Steve approaching the group. Everyone else greeted him like normal, but Eddie just kept you by his side as Steve said a quick hi to both of you.

You knew he had to know or have heard about you two dating. Eddie was on the phone with Dustin when he could, and you were always in touch with Robin and Nancy.

“So, we're ready to party, or what?” Steve clapped his hands together to interrupt the conversation.

“Let’s go!” Lucas shouted and you all split up into your groups. You heard your name being called, and you looked back. Steve was standing there and waved you over. Your heart tugged a little at the look on his face- he almost looked somber.

“You can go talk to him if you want, I’m not stopping you.” Eddie said, “We’ve gotta at least make an appearance at the party at his house. He might have something to say.”

“Fine, but watch if I need you to come rescue me.” Eddie pulled you in for a quick kiss as if he were making sure Steve knew that you were his, and you walked over to Steve with blushed cheeks, and butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey, I just wanted to talk.”

“Figured so, that’s why I came over here.” God, you sounded like a fucking idiot. How could Steve still look so good? You quickly checked him out to see he had dressed in pants that fit him perfectly, a short sleeve polo that was fit to his biceps just right, and his hair looked better than ever since he’d still kept some length on it.

“Are we, are we good?” He was stuttering, something you knew he only did when he was nervous.

“I mean, we’re fine? I guess. I’m over it, I’ve moved on.”

“Clearly.” You could tell the word came out of his mouth faster than he could think about what he was saying, “Are you happy?”

“Y-yeah, I am. He makes me really happy. I’m glad to be out of here, away from all of the past bullshit that happened here. And I’m glad to be away from here, with him specifically. I basically run the bar now, probably going to buy in in the next year or so depending on where Eddie goes with the band, if nothing else it could be some passive income while we’re on the road. What about you?” You kicked at some grass while you waited for his reply.

“Things are good. We just bought a house here, wedding is next year.” That was something everyone had left out of telling you. “Just proposed a few days ago, but the house had been in the works for a little while.”

“Oh wow, congratulations. I’m sure your parents are thrilled.” He looked at you funny, “I mean it this time. I’m not being a sarcastic asshole.” You both laughed a little.

“You look really good. I mean, not trying to be weird but you look like yourself. Like you’ve figured yourself out.”

“Feels like I have, finally. I think getting out of here was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. It feels weird being back here, you know? I wonder how many people really know everything that actually happened. Does she know?” You weren’t sure why you were bringing this up now, but you were curious.

“Hell no, do you know how insane that would sound?”

“I do know, I lived it too.” You said wistfully. You looked back to see Eddie looking at you, and you gave him a small wave of recognition. “I should get back, it was good to catch up.”

“Will I see you both at the house? Still drink tequila?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, still tequila. We’ll be there.” You both exchanged a small hug before you walked back to Eddie, your smile growing bigger as you reached your boyfriend, realizing you’d made some positive progress in your relationship with Steve.

“What was all that about?” Eddie asked as you two walked back to his van. “Took long enough.”

“He was just making sure we were good, and asked if I was happy, apparently he’s engaged and they bought a house together. He just proposed a few days ago.” You said as you hopped into Eddie’s car.

“Weird.” You noticed Eddie’s grip on the steering wheel was tight and you picked at your thumbs out of nerves. You reached up to turn up the radio volume, but he stopped you. He never did that.

“What?” You looked over at him, he was rubbing his face with the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel.

“I might just drop you off and head over to Wayne’s. I’m really not in the mood for a party tonight.” He said, looking straight ahead.

“Eddie, what? I’m not going without you, I’ll just go see Wayne too. You’re the one who said we needed to make an appearance. It’s for the kids, it’s their graduation.”

“Nah, you seem like you want to go catch up more with your old pal Steve.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at your boyfriend.

“Eddie, what are you talking about?”

“You couldn’t take your fucking eyes off of him. You couldn’t even hide that you were staring at him, basically drooling over how good he looked.” Silence filled the car. “See, you’re not even going to deny it, are you? You played the whole, I don’t wanna come back here card for all the wrong reasons. You didn’t wanna see Steve because you still have something for him, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t! I’m sorry if that’s what you thought, but-”

“Oh come on, anyone with two working eyes can see the way you were practically undressing him.”

“Eddie, I was not. It was a conversation that we needed to have, it was awkward, but at least now we’re on speaking terms. Beyond that, there’s nothing there with Steve. Yes, he’s still attractive- you’ve even said that yourself but if you pulled over on the side of the road right this second I’d fuck you in the backseat, okay? There is nothing about Steve Harrington that I want anymore. I don’t want that lifestyle, I never did, I thought I did- but I don’t. I don’t want to come home to a guy who won’t let me touch his shirt because it might get wrinkled or ruined, I wanna be with someone who doesn’t care what happens to their shirt when I touch it or tear it off of them. I want to be with you, Eddie. You’re it for me.” You were out of breath, and you looked over to see him staring straight ahead at the road in front of him. “You’re the one who told me to go talk to him! God, just take me to Robin’s if you’re going to be a bitch like this today.”

“Was going to anyway.” He scoffed and you turned in your seat to stare out the window and hold back tears. You two never fought like this. Ever.

Hours had passed, and you and Robin got ready together before leaving for the party at the new Harrington house. You’d changed into something more fun for the party- a mini skirt with tights, your black doc martens, and a cut up band tee from one of the local bands that had passed through your bar one night.

“Eddie’s really not coming?” Robin spoke halfway over to Steve’s new house. She knew the way, so you let her drive. She also said she’d be DD tonight, only having one drink at the time of arrival and nothing else.

“I guess not, he was being so not like himself earlier. He swore that I still had a thing for Steve and that I was undressing him as we talked. Robin, Eddie has said he thought Steve was attractive before. Anyone with two eyes can see that.”

“He’ll get over it, he’s probably just feeling insecure about it because of the last time we were all at a party together.” She brushed it off, but you couldn’t as you bit the inside of your lip.

One hour into the party, and you were drunk. You didn’t know how many tequila sodas with lime you’d had, but it was enough that Robin was already giving you the eye. You spent so many of your nights at the bar not drinking, that you wanted to have fun tonight celebrating the kids graduation before the show at the Hideout the next night.

“Having fun?” Steve slid up beside you as you were pouring another drink for yourself.

“Your bar has definitely improved since high school parties.”

“Where’s Eddie?” He was quick to look around for your boyfriend.

“Oh, I don’t know. Robin and I came here together because Eddie was too much of a bitch to me earlier, saying we were- like you and me- were undressing each other with our eyes while we were talking at graduation, and even though I told him if he pulled over on the side of the road I’d-”

“Whoa, whoa, I don’t need to hear all of that. I was just asking where he was because I wanted to talk to him too. Do you know if he’s coming at all?”

You shrugged as you skillfully cut a lime wedge and tossed it into your cup. “No idea. Guess we’ll have to find out later.”

Later came soon enough, and it happened to be when everyone had decided to jump into Steve and his fiancé’s pool, most of you in whatever clothes or underwear you had on under clothes. No one was thinking twice about it either, since you’d all been friends for so long and were a little more mature about this type of thing. And you were all pretty drunk at this point in the night, too.

“Cannonball!” Dustin yelled as he jumped in, splashing you and Robin for the tenth time tonight.

“Uh oh, the fun just got here.” She said to you as she pointed her finger towards the back gate. You watched as Eddie opened the gate and stalked over to the pool, and scanned the pool of bodies for yours. Your back was to him, so you secretly hoped he wouldn’t see you, maybe? You were at the point you would’ve been happier going home alone with Robin and he stayed at Wayne’s.

“How’d he find the house?”

“The uh, invite is probably on my fridge or something. I left a key under the mat in case I wasn’t home yet when you guys came by to drop your stuff off, so I can only assume that’s how he has the address?” You couldn’t hear what she was saying as you blankly stared at her, feeling Eddie’s eyes on your mostly bare back.

You heard him say your name loud enough for you to hear, but you ignored him and took another sip of your drink. He repeated himself, but louder and you felt like a child getting in trouble with their parents.

You slowly turned to look at him, and he was crouched by the edge of the pool. He curled his finger at you to come towards him. You waded through the pool and with each step your stomach felt sicker and sicker- you wish it was from the alcohol, and not your nerves.

“You decided to show up?” You joked, leaning against the pool.

“Why the fuck are you in your goddamn underwear in Steve Harrington’s pool? Get out.” His voice was thick with disgust.

“No, I’m having fun.” You shook your head.

“Come on, we’re leaving.”

“I’m having fun with Robin.” If you could stomp your foot like a child right now, you would have.

“Do you want me to drag you out of there? I don’t want his eyes on you.”

“Not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before.” Suddenly Steve was beside you- a safe distance, but enough to hear the conversation. “Got a problem, Munson? Didn't wanna come party?”

“Fuck off, Harrington.” He spat at him, and you were disgusted by both boys pissing contest. You heard a swoosh of water, and suddenly Steve was pushing against the edge of the pool to climb out. Dripping in water, in his boxer briefs, he stepped closer and closer to Eddie.

“She’s having fun, leave her alone.” Steve stated boldly.

“I can make my own decisions.” You tried to hoist yourself out of the pool and you miserably failed. Eddie stepped over to offer his hands, and you took them to skip having to walk over to the pool steps. Very quickly, Eddie was shrugging off his jacket and draped it over your shivering shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s get you dressed and out of here.” He tried to coax you but you hesitated.

“Why didn’t you come here sooner?” You asked.

“We’ll talk about it in the car.” He said, pulling on your hand gently. Steve looked between the both of you, as his fiancé walked up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Of course her underwear was more intriguing than yours- it probably had cost Steve a fortune and a half to purchase and it was the type that probably would be ruined in pool water.

“I want my question answered Eddie. I was waiting all night for you to come here, and-”

“I said, we’ll talk about it in the fucking car.” He got in your face and spoke through gritted teeth. You had absolutely never seen him like this- and then you saw it. His eyes were bloodshot- and not from weed, red from crying.

“O-okay.” You agreed and quietly followed, grabbing your clothes on your way out. You didn’t bother putting them on, you just climbed into the car and Eddie turned the heat on as he started to drive off slowly.

“I went to see Wayne and he told me that my dad died. I don’t know why I’m so fucking upset, I hated the man, but-” you put your hand on his leg as he choked on a cry.

“It’s your dad, shitty or not, it’s still your dad.”

“Then, to see you, in your underwear, in the guy who broke your fucking heart into a million pieces pool while I’ve spent the last year of my life helping you put them back together all while falling in love with you, I just- I don’t fucking get it, man.” He was doing the thing where he cries but laughs it off because he’s so upset. “I thought I was past this, thought we were past this but I guess not.” The rest of the ride was completely silent. Eddie took a deep breath as he stopped the car in the parking lot of Robin’s apartment complex. “Please tell me you’re over him.”

“Eddie, I’ve told you a thousand times-”

“I can’t take you lying to me.”

“Do you want me to say I still love him?! What kind of answer do you want from me, Eddie? I’m telling you the fucking truth. I let you move into my place, I sleep beside you every goddamn night and even before we were officially dating, just the thought of you not being feet away from me on that stupid pull out couch was enough to make me realize I wanted you, you’re the one I want. I don’t want that life Steve has, I’ve told you time and time again. I’m so fucking happy with you Eddie. I don’t want the fancy cars, the big trips, the overcompensating with a big house. I want our life we have right now, the one we’ve made over the last year. This is why I don’t like coming back here, because it brings up all of this old shit that has settled like dust already. I don’t want anything to do with Steve Harrington anymore. Okay?”

“Okay.” He answered, and turned off the car. He slowly got out of it, and walked over to your side to help you out- your ass cheeks had stuck to the leather of the seat and he walked behind you to keep you decent.

The next morning came and went quickly, all three of you were far too hungover to do anything more than to eat junk food and watch movies in Robin’s living room. The shrill shriek of her phone made all of your heads pound, and she couldn’t get up off the couch quick enough to answer it.

“Yeah… she’s fine. Uh huh. He’s here too. Okay. Ooooookay, then.” Robin hung up the phone and sat back down. “Steve’s not coming to the show tonight, he said he’s sorry.” Eddie sighed a sigh of relief, and you swallowed loudly enough to make him look at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, just… feel like I’m gonna be sick.” You hopped up and ran to the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. About ten minutes later, you heard a knock on the door and the door slowly opened and you looked up at Eddie from the seat you’d taken on the floor. He joined you, and asked if you were okay.

“M’fine, just drank too much last night. Don’t let me do that again tonight.”

“Well, Steve won’t be there, so I don’t suspect you’ll have to drink away your feelings.” He muttered as another hurl came up, and Eddie held your hair back for you.

“I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost, and what it cost- now that we don’t talk.”

1993

You fixed your eyeliner in the mirror with the shakiest hand you’d ever had. You messed up again, and muttered a “fuck” loudly to the room of your closest girlfriends.

“Let me help, your eye is going to be raw.” Nancy sat down on the bench beside you and you turned to her in your white silk robe to let her fix your makeup.

“Probably going to cry it all off anyway. When I went out to grab drinks, Dustin said Eddie’s a wreck too.” Robin chimed in and you looked at her quickly.

“Nervous? Is he going to call it off?” Your stomach churned at the thought of it.

“The man would do anything for you. I think we’ve all seen that over the last few years. Now, sit still before this eyeliner wing ends up in your hairline.”

It was yours and Eddie’s wedding day, finally. You’d both opted for a small wedding, with his bandmates, old and new, your closest group of friends, small family members, and no one else. Eddie and his band had blown up the music scene over the last few years, and you’d been along for the ride the entire time with him- all of the ups and downs. A big wedding was something you never wanted, and with his newfound fame, it made more sense to keep it small and intimate.

Your hands were shaky as you paced the now empty bridal suite, surely you’d worn the carpet down by how many times you’d walked back and forth. You didn’t know why, but you just felt something was off. You mentally checked everything off on your list and you weren’t forgetting anything. Your handwritten vows were in the hidden pocket of your dress, Robin had Eddie’s ring, and Dustin had your ring.

Then came the knock on the door. You hesitated, not wanting it to be Eddie trying to sneak a peak in your moment of solitude before the ceremony.

“Who is it?” You asked through the thin, wood door.

“It’s me, Steve.” The voice on the other side was shaky as he spoke. You hadn’t seen him in a while, probably a few years actually. He’d gotten married, but Eddie was on tour so you couldn’t make it back home. The weekend of Steve’s wedding was actually one of the only weekends Eddie didn’t have a show, but you didn’t question Eddie when he said he needed to have a weekend off and not go home for the wedding. You didn’t want to go alone, so you stayed back too. “Mind if I come in?” He sounded scared, but he probably was. There had been absolutely no communication between you two in a very long time, and it was all on your side.

“Yeah sure, but not for long.” You opened the door to see him standing there, dressed smart as always.

“You look absolutely stunning.” He took in the sight of your intricate lace gown that showed off your tattooed skin, and complimented your body shape perfectly.

“Thanks, but I don’t think you should-”

“You’re absolutely right. I shouldn’t be here, so I’m not. I’m leaving, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.” Your eyebrows furrowed. “Clearly you don’t want us to be friends, so I was shocked to even receive an invitation to your wedding, but after thinking about it more, and now seeing you- I really don’t need to be here. I talked to Eddie, and he had a letter to give to you, so he gave it to me to give to you before I left.”

You paused before speaking, and you looked at the man who stood before you holding a letter from your almost husband with shaky hands. He’d changed a little bit, but you both had. His scars on his face were lighter but still there, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d told his wife how he got it yet. Had she even asked yet how he’d gotten any of them, at that? The golden highlights in his hair were still there, shiny as ever. And his eyes were warm, warm like his nickname for you- honey.

You were speechless as you continued to stare blankly at him, your mouth couldn’t form any words, except “Thank you. Bye, Steve.” He nodded, smiled, and walked away, and out of your life forever.

You decided you couldn’t be friends as you watched him walk away, with all the things you’d lost- like the pieces of your heart that you’d never get back, that he’d taken without asking. You watched him through the window as he wiped an eye, hoping it was the wind causing the tear, but by the way his hair stayed in place you knew it wasn’t. But you knew he’d felt the same way, come to the same conclusion.

You couldn’t be friends anymore, you couldn’t even talk.

[kiss-me-cill-me]

Now We Pay The Price | Pt. 3

Start with Pt. 1 HERE! ~ Jump back to previous Pt. 2 HERE!

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: In an effort to not spoil the ending, please assume that any of the warnings from any of the previous parts could apply

A/N: Well, I guess I lied completely, because I did in fact write the third part in like two days, after explicitly saying I was going to take a break before picking this series back up... But I felt bad about leaving us all hanging (myself included lol).

Thank you to everyone who has read this series! I have received so much more feedback than I was expecting, and it's become a much longer piece than I thought it would be. This really is the last part, though, so I want to take this opportunity to send all the love back at you! At the risk of sounding sappy, you guys are the best and I truly appreciate all of your support <3

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

The shallow rasp of your own breath seemed, somehow, too far away in the normally cramped, claustrophobic cell. As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you slowly began to accept the reality of the key in your hand. It was there; faintly visible in contours and outlines as your fingers tightened around it. The metal teeth pressing into your palm provided more proof, sharp.

But why?

Was this all some kind of test, you wondered? A cruel experiment, so Crane could watch how you'd react to a false chance at freedom? Or maybe a trap. An excuse for him to lock you away in some deeper corner of Arkham - or worse, send you off to Blackgate.

No. If he had wanted to do that, he would have taken the opportunity earlier, when he'd caught you trying to break out on your own. Although, on the other hand, maybe he hadn't quite realized that escape was what you had planned to do. 

There were a hundred possibilities racing through your head, and you tried your best to silence them. Crush them beneath the heel of your foot before they could derail you from what was important.

You stepped softly across the floor, then slid the key easily into the lock.

Click.

This was real.

Euphoria threatened to well up inside your lungs, nearly drowning you where you stood. Hand poised over the doorknob that suddenly seemed charged with electricity, you paused. Sparks jumped the short distance to your fingers; flowed through your body and down to the freezing cold floor, spreading out where the white tile touched your bare socks. 

Your hand clenched, swiftly turning the knob before you had a chance to consider more consequences. Did they really even matter in the face of the possibilities that had just been presented?

Your body felt heavy, cocooned in something. In the hallway, an uncovered lightbulb buzzed, mimicking the excitement that still jolted through you, despite the weight settling on your arms. Each wave pushed you forward, silently out into the hall. Through corridors that were empty and deserted, save for a few lamenting wails from the poor souls still locked up. You smiled. You weren't like them anymore.

You knew exactly where you were going. His office wasn't particularly close - Crane had always liked keeping his distance. And the closer you got, the more frantic you felt, the layers around you peeling away to uncover raw terror dwelling just below the surface. 

Each new step came with a pang of anxiety. If you were stopped now, it would be so much worse knowing just how close you had been.

But finally, the frosted glass window came into view. You paused for a moment more, listening. You had only ever been on this side of the door before, and the thought of what might lie beyond made you hesitate.

When you worked up the courage to let yourself in, you felt suddenly at home. Although you had never once been in Crane's office, there was a familiarity to things that felt just like him. Stacks of papers with hurried notes scrawled over the margins. An almost-empty mug with the dark remnants of some liquid now sludged at the bottom. You wrapped your fingers around the cup, and brought it up close to your face. The old, bitter smell of black coffee filled your next breath. 

As you set the mug back down, you noticed that he didn't have any pictures. Of course - why would he? Crane wasn't someone who had many people who he would deem worthy of remembering. 

You thought of what life could be like in a world where he'd placed a little framed photo of you on this desk, perched abruptly among the chaos of case reports and old receipts. The idea made you smile, even if it was only imaginary. It could be real, you told yourself. Maybe that was what mattered most.

As you traipsed through the scraps of a life that had told a very different story, one burning question took over your mind. Why wasn’t he here?

A small seed of disappointment planted itself, growing gnarled and ugly as it wrapped around you for support. A strangling vine that crept closer and closer to something more vital every second it went unchecked. Where was he? That was the whole reason you’d come.

You sat in his chair, swiveling idly as you tried to ignore the panicked feeling within you. You were certain that Crane was the one who had left the key. Who else would have? You wouldn't allow yourself to consider the possibility that it had been an accident. Some moment of foolish oversight by an orderly, or even one of the other doctors. No, it had to be him, and it had to be purposeful. Otherwise-

“I was wondering how long it would take you.” Suddenly, Crane's voice echoed out from the office door, left ajar in your haste. Your head snapped up to meet his gaze. “You weren't here as soon as I thought you’d be, actually.”

“I was asleep,” you explained.

“I know. You were out cold when I came in to check on you.”

A tense silence hovered between you, with so much more seemingly left unsaid.

“You gave me a key,” you prompted. “...Why?”

Crane sighed, and stepped into the room. It seemed like he wasn't going to answer, as he took his time closing the door behind him and leaning against the edge of his desk. You stood up, suddenly self conscious about letting yourself in. As he crossed his arms, you came to stand closer to him, trailing your fingers over the desk’s surface.

“Nothing I do seems to help you,” he said finally. “So I thought, paradoxically, what if I tried giving in to what you want for once?”

The silence hovered again, before he continued. 

“I don't know. I'm out of ideas.”

That wasn't exactly the answer you'd been hoping for, but… Even if his change of heart wasn't quite the one you'd imagined, it was still something.

“I'm glad that we're talking again,” you offered.

Crane’s shoulders slumped a bit as he looked at you, letting out a long breath.

“...I do care about you, you know,” he said suddenly. “Even if some things have changed… that still hasn't.”

You tried hard to speak around the lump in your throat; to answer him with all the words that were desperate to squeeze past and flood out of your mouth. Weeping, frenzied adoration, just like you had always felt for him. But instead, all that came out was a cry, choked off halfway out of your lips as you slapped a hand over your mouth. 

Crane looked at you, and reached back to offer a box of tissues. You accepted, suddenly realizing how wet your cheeks were.

You longed more than anything to fall into him. To give yourself over completely to the warm and familiar strength of his arms, the soft rise and fall of his chest. To lay your head on his shoulder again, just like each of you had done for the other so many times before.

“I didn't… think you still did,” you admitted, as much to yourself as to him.

Crane tried to keep his face neutral, but you saw the hint of regret as his eyes flicked away from you.

“I think, in the end, I was just too… demanding.” He stiffened, uncomfortable with his own clumsy admission. “Too selfish.”

“I would have given you everything, though.”

“You did. And it was too much.”

You wiped a tear and looked over at him, leaning restlessly against the desk. He was focused on scratching his thumbnail against the dark wood, still not meeting your eyes, and you reached out to tilt his chin up to face you.

“I’m still yours,” you told him. “Even when you don’t want me to be. I still am - always.”

He leaned in, to your slight surprise, pressing the tip of his nose to your cheek as his forehead rested against yours. You sat together like that for a moment, not daring to so much as breathe so that, maybe, the spell wouldn’t have to be broken.

“I wish I could go back and do things differently, sometimes,” he said quietly. “Stop myself from dragging you down with me.”

“Don’t say that.” Your hand came to rest atop his, stilling the anxious scrape of his fingers over the desk.  “Being with you makes me feel like I’m walking on air. Even now.”

“That’s not good for you, though,” Crane muttered. “I should have kept you more grounded.” “But who wants to live life on the ground?” you laughed lightly. “You never did.”

The feeling was more subtle than you remembered as your lips found each other. Not the same violent, frenzied spark as usual, but a slow warmth, spreading over your tongue and down into your chest. It took you by surprise, and you froze for a few seconds as you got used to the strange but familiar feeling of his mouth on yours.

Hesitant, you reached out to fold your arms around him. Searching for some trace of a life that had never been lived - one where two people were able to love in a way that didn’t destroy both of them. It wasn’t there yet, but you could almost imagine it.

“Do you think…” you began, as you pulled back just slightly, “that things could have been more like this?”

Your hands inched up to his shoulders, seeking out the stability that you had never managed to hold onto. The feel of him grabbing your waist, pulling you closer, made you feel like you might lose yourself for one fleeting moment. But, as the feeling relaxed and gave way to a more subdued, tender passion, you let yourself lean into his kiss.

Another tear fell, slowly working its way into the space that just barely existed between your cheek and his.

There was a bittersweet regret, at the thought of a mundane life. One that you and he would get to spend together, but that would have felt tamed and suppressed. Dampened. You felt something fall away from yourself. Maybe the echoes of your past, doomed but inevitable, all leading up to this moment. Now, it was finally here. There was too much history to let go of, but maybe, you wouldn't be so burdened by it now.

You pulled away again, and reached into the folds of your jumpsuit, quickly finding the key. As you pressed it firmly into his palm, Crane’s fingers wrapped around yours for a moment.

“Maybe things still can be like this,” you hummed, answering your own question. “Someday.”

With a sad smile, you let your eyes sweep over his face one more time.

“Walk me back to my room?” you asked.

Crane said nothing, but slid the key into his pocket and stood up. As he extended a hand to you, the sleeve of his jacket slid back.

“Wait. One more thing,” you said, searching the mess on his desk for a pen.

You found one, easily enough, and held his arm steady as you drew the same heart that he’d let you sketch onto his skin all those years ago. Two quick, swooping strokes of a pen that carried with them the weight of something undefined and nebulous, but that was starting to take shape.

“A promise,” you explained, setting the pen back down safely atop a stack of scattered papers. “And I always keep promises.”

As you walked, hand in hand with your wrist against his, the jumble of thoughts that ran through your head quieted for a moment. The fingers of your free hand trailed along the walls, and for the first time in a while, you could appreciate the solid, rough feel of the stone that brushed your fingertips. You stepped softly into your cell, Jonathan trailing behind you.

He watched from a distance as you slid under the covers, making yourself comfortable enough on the sparse mattress. And then, he stepped swiftly away from the door, to sit on the edge of your bed for a moment.

“Get some rest,” he said softly. “You look tired.”

Your hand snaked over to his, and he squeezed when your fingers wrapped over his wrist, pressing into fresh ink that smudged slightly from the heat of your touch. 

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight, Jonathan.”

As he left, you felt something replace the dark pit that had seemed to live deep in your chest for so long. A bright pin of light, still small, but definite. 

You smiled and closed your eyes as it overtook you.

Additional A/N: While this part did not have a specific song as inspiration like the other parts, I did listen to Sarah Cothran's cover of As The World Caves In on loop while writing most of it, so I'm including it here as kind of an "end credits" theme because sometimes I like to be a little extra lol. Thank you again for reading <3

[artiststarme]

Goddamn Wheelers!

Hopper was bothering him. That wasn’t necessarily unusual, Hop had been particularly hard to shake since he decided to adopt Steve into his little family. But this was a whole ’nother level of insanity. He’d been wiggling his eyebrows at him and making obscene hand gestures at him all morning and Steve was just trying to eat his breakfast in peace. 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Steve blurted out. The entire table stilled at his eruption and looked between him and Hopper. Hop just sipped at his cup of coffee, cool as a cucumber. 

“Who me? I’m just wondering why you didn’t introduce us to the girl you’re seeing.” Hopper told him, his expression remaining relaxed and cool. 

Joyce, El, and Will turned surprised eyes towards him. Their interests were piqued. Meanwhile, Jonathan looked like he wished he could be literally anywhere else. 

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched. He was not seeing a girl and he had no idea why Hopper thought he was. 

“I’m not. Why do you think I am?” Hopper’s eyebrows raised. 

“Yes you are! I saw you two in your car last night. Why didn’t you bring her in?” He asked. 

Steve just shook his head. “Why are you so interested in meeting who I’m dating? I’m an adult, I can handle myself!”

“Why are you so embarrassed about telling me you and Nancy are back together?” Hopper yelled at him. Jonathan grimaced and tried to escape but Joyce grabbed hold of his arm to keep him there. 

“Nancy and I aren’t back together!” Steve shouted in response. 

“I know you are, I saw you guys making out in the driveway. Who else has hair that curly?” The air stilled as Steve’s face flushed in horror. Oh god, Hopper saw him making out with Eddie Munson. Oh no. 

He was in too deep now to backtrack so he took a deep breath and looked Hopper in the eye. “... Eddie. I’m dating Eddie Munson, not Nancy Wheeler. Is that okay?”

Hopper’s face broke out in a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Because he’s a guy and I’m a guy. We’re in a queer relationship. Are you okay with that?” Steve was speaking quietly, cautiously. He couldn’t wrap his head around Hopper’s reaction. 

Hopper huffed out a laugh. “Of course I am. Honestly kid, you could be screwing Bigfoot himself and I would accept it as long as it meant my kids weren't dating a Wheeler.”

Steve saw Joyce and Jonathan look at each other quickly and El shyly glanced at Will. The kid was gripping his fork with a death grip and his face was pale. 

“Um, Hop?” He muttered. 

“Yeah kid?” Hopper still had a wide smile on his face, he looked like he just won the lottery. 

“I uh, I have some bad news,” Will stammered. He glanced at Joyce who nodded at him in support. 

“There’s literally nothing you could say in this moment to bring me down. I’m thrilled!” Hopper laughed. He looked over at Steve who shot him a small smile. Oh boy, if what he thought was coming was coming, Hopper wouldn’t have that smile on his face for long. 

“I’m gay…”

“Will, thank you for telling me that and I will always accept you,” Hop told him.

“... and I’m dating Mike Wheeler.”

All joy fell from Hopper’s face and left behind was the most devastated expression Steve had ever seen. In fact, Steve couldn’t tell if it was a glare of the light or a tear in his eye. As quickly as it appeared, the sadness was replaced with inordinate rage.

“No! Absolutely not! Goddammit, Will! You’re better than this, what does he have on you? Some sort of leverage or blackmail or Upside Down voodoo? I’ll take that kid out.”

"He's been my best friend for my entire life and I really like him!" Will defended.

"Jesus Christ, why are you kids so attracted to that family? All of you now. That's just-that's ridiculous! I guarantee that violates some kind of bro code!" Hop ranted, waving his arms around heatedly.

Perhaps Eddie was rubbing off on Steve in more ways than one because he decided to cause some problems for his own amusement. "Jon is thinking about getting back together with Nancy."

He wasn't but seeing the outrage on Hopper's face was worth it. He opened his mouth to rant at a scared looking Jonathan but Joyce cut him off.

“Alright kids, time for you to go! Have fun today, be safe, listen to Steve!” Joyce ushered them away from the table and out the door. 

Steve, Will, El, and Jonathan practically bolted from the house. They could still hear Hopper screaming about “no good Wheelers” and “that fucking toothpick” and all sorts of other insults as they climbed into the Beemer. 

“Uh Steve?” Jonathan asked him.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, looking over at him. 

“Are these the seats you were making out with Eddie on?” Steve looked back out the windshield and tried to hide his blush. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” 

He drove all the way to the Wheeler house for DnD with groans of disgust and fake gagging filling his ears.

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[denimbex1986]

'As David Tennant bursts back onto screens for Doctor Who‘s 60th anniversary, he’s also made his solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community clearer than ever.

The 52-year-old star features alongside former co-star Catherine Tate as Donna Noble in the trio of Doctor Who specials from returning showrunner Russell T Davies. The cast also includes trans Heartstopper actress Yasmin Finney as Donna’s daughter, Rose.

Finney’s prominent role in Saturday’s (25 November) episode “The Star Beast” sparked fierce reaction with LGBTQ+ fans praising the inclusion and bigots (as usual) sharing their fury.

Tennant’s three-episode run – which has already involved a heartfelt conversation around correct pronouns – kicks off a new era of Doctor Who which promises major LGBTQ+ talent as Ncuti Gatwa takes over as 15th Doctor this Christmas.

From Drag Race icon Jinkx Monsoon to musical theatre star Jonathan Groff, there’s plenty in store for queer fans.

Throughout it all Tennant has remained a steadfast ally, so here’s five times the acclaimed actor has showed up for the LGBTQ+ community throughout his career.

David Tennant making waves with trans Tardis pin

In the lead up to the Doctor Who 60th anniversary, Tennant appeared on The One Show and The Last Leg earlier this month where the Scottish actor was spotted wearing a trans flag themed TARDIS badge as a small act of solidarity with the trans community.

Naturally, fan praised the actor for his initiative, but the wholesome saga doesn’t end there. The badge creator, Dr Jamie Gallagher, soon announced on Twitter that over £18,000 had been raised in badge sales and all proceeds would be going towards LGBTQ+ homeless charity AKT.

Humbly reacting to the joyous news, Tennant later said while he couldn’t take “any credit”, the badge perfectly “suits what Doctor Who is all about”.

It’s not the first time Tennant has showed his support through the medium of pin badges. Earlier this year eagle-eyed fans spotted him wearing a non-binary Pride badge on shows such Saturday Night Takeaway, The Graham Norton Show and This Morning.

Unapologetically standing up for trans children

In July this year, Tennant took his pro-trans message one step further during the press run for Good Omens season two.

In a viral image, fans caught a glimpse of him sporting a black t-shirt with a crystal clear pink hued slogan emblazoned on top. “Leave trans kids alone, you absolute freaks”. We love to see it.

The top, which comes from online store Crooked, caused a stir online with many fans flocking to social media to share their joy. Around a similar time the TV star was spotted wearing (yet another) badge with the pride colours and the words: “You are safe with me.”

The pin badge managed to rile up anti-trans activists Posie Parker and Graham Linehan who launched separate attacks on Tennant, insinuating he is a pedophile and “groomer”.

But this hasn’t deterred Tennant, who continues to stand up for trans rights.

Delivering an emotional speech during Pride month

During Pride month this year, Tennant appeared on the Ed Miliband’s Reasons To Be Cheerful podcast where he praised the importance and joy of Pride month in modern day Britain.

“Do you know what’s making me cheerful at the moment? It’s Pride month,” he told the podcast.

“The fact that Pride Month is existing and is flourishing and is something that’s happening at a time when the world seems to be getting in some corners worryingly intolerant and weirdly backward.”

As usual his words impacted LGBTQ+ fans who shared that his powerful statement moved them to tears.

“We can’t take our foot off the gas,” the actor continued. “We can’t expect that we will always travel in the right direction towards acceptance. We’ve all got to be fighting that fight every day.”

It’s a message echoed by his wife Georgia, who shared her solidarity with the trans community in October after an attack by prime minister Rishi Sunak. “To the trans community, I stand with you now and always. I, like you, am going nowhere,” she said in a post on X.

Spreading the message of inclusivity in his TV series Good Omens

Doctor Who is not the only sci-fi, fantasy world Tennant has inhabited this year. After four years, Prime Video finally dropped the second season of Good Omens which sees Tennant playing demon Crowley opposite Michael Sheen’s angel Aziraphale.

In a wild turn of events, after huge fan speculation, Crowley and Azirphale made their romantic tension explicit after sharing a dramatic kiss at the end of the season.

Although fans will have to wait until the (still to be confirmed) third season to find out if the loved up couple will finally get their acts together, Tennant has no doubt about the importance of inclusivity in the series, which he spoke about during an interview with the RadioTimes podcast.

During the interview, he explained that the show delivers a message for “this fractious moment” in society that earth can be “quite a nice place to live”.

“That’s why this show connected with a certain group of people,” he continued. “There is an inclusivity to the world view of Good Omens, there’s a joy in celebrating whoever you happen to be.

“And that’s something [creator Neil Gaiman] is very keen to communicate: a message of kindness and openness. That is why the tone of Good Omens is positive, open, joyful and fun.”

Once an ally, always an ally

Tennant’s allyship hasn’t just started over the past year.

As far back as 2008, during his stint as the 10th Doctor, he hit back against the idea that dressing flamboyantly and being called “gay” is an insult during an interview with The Telegraph.

A few years later, in 2012, he showed his support for a Diversity Role Models campaign tackling homophobic bullying.

“It is essential that young people have the opportunity to meet role models from the LGBT community to help break down the stereotypes and prejudice that lead to bullying,” he said at the time.

A decade later, it’s no surprise David Tennant has consistently proven himself as an LGBTQ+ ally, through and through.'

[ladykailitha]

Buckle up, there is a topic I want to rant about today. A few days ago this came across my dash and it reminded me of someone I knew from high school.

There was this kid at my high school everyone thought was a douche. He was good looking, popular, could sing, dance and play an instrument (I think it was guitar, but I don't remember it's been 20 years). He was getting lead roles in the plays as a sophomore (we didn't have freshman in our high schools out here in hick Utah where the running joke has always been we're behind the times by at 20-40 years), he got duck classes because he was getting acting jobs while in school.

We'll call him MH because those were his initials.

He was in my biology class and our science teacher had four groups of four debate creationism vs evolution (you shouldn't debate established fact but whatever). Two groups would be for creation and the other two would be for evolution.

I picked creation because I was a contrary child and wanted to debate the opposite of my actual views. (I was like thatTM) He picked evolution.

We got up and gave our arguments. Now our teacher wasn't a stupid man, stupid assignment aside. He knew his classes. He knew teenagers. He gave them two voting slips. One for who liked the best. Popularity wise. And the other for who gave the best arguments.

Now for some added context, this is Utah. Mormonville. Creation is basically hardwired into our psyche from birth. The chances of EVOLUTION winning was as likely as a pig sprouting wings.

But I was not well liked in high school, I was an epileptic, ADHD, anxiety riddled nerd. So MH's team got the votes for both the best argument and the most popular, because fuck me that's why. (And yeah, this sounds like my anxiety talking, but no these little shits told me that to my face.)

I can't remember how long exactly it was. Long enough that I got over it, but fresh enough I knew what he was talking about. But shortly after this shit show we have a fire drill. It was cold, it was miserable and I was ready to start cussing for the warmth.

MH comes up to me and the two friends I was with and tells me "Hey, I think it was crap that you lost. Your team had the better argument and was better articulated. I just wanted to let you know." And then melted back into the crowd of students.

I didn't think he knew what my name was, if I'm honest. But he came up to me and told me that I should have won. Even my friends were shocked. Now of course I was bitter about losing, because how could I not be? But the fact that the hottest guy in school came up to me and said that? I felt vindicated.

From that day on though? I was a staunch MH supporter. I was tell people that he was probably shy and very busy (you know with the whole acting jobs thing).

TL;DR: high school douche goes out of his way to tell me that I should won the on merit side of a stupid debate and I find out not a douche after all.

So why do I bring this up? Because of Steve Harrington. He has literally everyone saying he was an ass in high school. That he has to atone. But other than some instances where it was absolutely warranted we never really see Steve be a douche. Just typical teenager shit. And every time he does something "bad" he apologizes for it.

But all his friends are still giving him shit about it three years later. But not Jonathan who was an actual fucking criminal. Like he didn't have develop the sex pictures if he was looking for evidence of the thing that took his brother. I've developed film. The negative, while small gives you a pretty good indication of what would develop.

And yeah Nancy forgave him, but no one asked Steve if he forgave him. Because he was in those pictures, too. Steve was just as violated as Nancy was. And if the scene we see is any indication, Steve was probably more predominately featured than Nancy was, because he was on top. Meaning he would have covered her most of the time.

So no, I don't think Steve was a bully. No, I don't think he has anything to atone for that he hasn't already atoned for in fucking spades. I think he was always that same lovable dork he always was and Nancy had nothing to do with his "hero arc". But I have my own thoughts about Nancy that are way too long for this already massive dash stretcher.

/rant end

[kurokoros]

something really frustrating about nancy ships is how the entire focus is on how the person is good enough for nancy, and never whether nancy is good enough for her partner. there's always emphasis on nancy deserves someone who loves, understands and supports her, but no one ever talks about how steve also deserves the same and that nancy has not done that in canon. if we can talk about how he wasn't—depending on your perspective—the perfect bf, she was also a pretty shitty gf.

you are sooooo correct for this, anon. like, in S1 Nancy got mad at Steve for him wanting to lie to the cops about something minor so he wouldn't get in trouble with his parents... and then she also lied to the cops about something. she got mad when he didn't believe her about seeing something in his backyard (and I maintain that she never should have seen it because it was daytime and the demogorgon is clearly nocturnal + had a fresh kill) then lied about what she was doing to go hunt monsters with the guy who was just caught taking inappropriate pictures of her through a window. sorry, but a quick "hey Steve, I'm going monster hunting with Jonathan Byers, come with" could have done wonders there. she got mad at him again in S2 for... not wanting to be the victim of a tragic accident a la the government for whistleblowing (which would have been a real threat if j.ancy's storyline wasn't made easy for plot convenience), got drunk and said some cruel shit to him, then acted flippant about it when he was mad about it the next day. and that's on top of the whole pining for another guy for an entire year and literally cheating with the guy she told him not to worry about.

her apology for the latter was not, in fact, an apology, and Steve was extremely gracious about telling her it was okay at the end. she has literally not interacted with Steve since then, has dated Jonathan longer than she dated Steve, and has not changed or grown as a person since then because she's never been called out or made to be in the wrong per the narrative. meanwhile, Steve gets his shit rocked at least once per season, on top of the verbal criticism and condescending remarks he often gets from the other characters.

saying that Steve "deserves" Nancy honestly seems like more of a punishment than anything, all things considered.

[percable]

Billy Hargrove is a bad person.

I’m sick and tired of listening to people defend him because of his bad home life. I see people mischaracterize billy constantly, they make him out to be this poor abuse victim who only wanted to protect his sister, when that absolute bull shit. Billy stans/defenders blatantly ignore everything that he’s done and sum it up to billy not having support. You wanna know characters that have been abused and never had support? Look at fucking Jonathan! He always took care of his family and never lashed out at them.

he referred to women as cows and bitches, he verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abused max (who grew up in the same environment as billy and didn’t turn out to be a piece of shit.) He’s racist, and before someone decides to reblog this and say that he was concerned for Max’s safety, he didn’t give two shits when max went missing for multiple hours nor did he care when he tried to run over literal children.

he literally grabbed Lucas and slammed him into a wall, ignoring Steve and the other kids and targeted him specifically, this is a perfect example of racial motivation. He only cared about Steve being there when he protected Lucas from him. Billy literally tried to kill Steve and almost beat him to death. He wouldn’t stop even after Steve was unconscious. Billy would’ve killed Steve, had max not drug him.

people bring up the fact that he sacrificed himself for el and saved the party when the mind flayer attacked. This, and I cannot stress this enough, is not a redemption. He did one thing, one good thing in this entire show, and he’s suddenly the best character. “He apologized to max” for what? He never apologized after years of abuse and control, nor did he apologize to Lucas for attacking him, he didn’t apologize to Steve for almost killing him. People say that Billy’s abuse “wasn’t even that bad” but in S4 we hear exactly from max that his treatment was so horrible that she wanted him dead.

billy defenders will bring up, his backstory flashback, but in that same scene we see him beating a kid up and calling him a pussy. I’m not saying that Billy deserved to be abused, I’m saying that he had no right to hurt others the way he did. I’m also not “comparing abuse victims” When I bring up Jonathan, I’m giving an example that billy chose to be a piece of shit. Most people defend him because of pretty privilege, as long as someone’s hot and has a sad past, every horrible thing they’ve ever done is suddenly erased and/or excused.

billy has no excuse. billy is a bad person.

[vickyvicarious]

"I have an idea. I suppose it must have come in the night, and matured without my knowing it. He must hypnotise me before the dawn, and then I shall be able to speak."

+

"I want you to hypnotise me!" she said. "Do it before the dawn, for I feel that then I can speak, and speak freely. Be quick, for the time is short!"

There's a lot going on here, I think, but one of the key details to me is Mina referring repeatedly to her own ability to speak. It's very interesting, because in point of fact, what she does next is basically look through Dracula's eyes. She uses 'I' then too, as does Van Helsing - "Where are you now?" not "Where is he?", "What are you doing?", and so on.

Mina seems to inhabit Dracula's body briefly, following the link he created between them in order to spy upon him the way he perhaps may have intended to spy upon her/them. She has obviously not been sitting idly, but has been thinking about what Dracula said when he forced her to drink his blood:

"You have aided in thwarting me; now you shall come to my call. When my brain says "Come!" to you, you shall cross land or sea to do my bidding; and to that end this!"

There is a mental link there apparently, and she knows already from Lucy that a sleepwalking/trance state opens you up more to Dracula's influence. She knows from Van Helsing's research that Dracula is weaker during the day, beginning at sunrise, and so that's why she hurries to put her plan into action immediately. In such a state, Mina will be extremely vulnerable and unable to direct her own actions... but with Van Helsing doing so instead he can unlock the secrets she will have access to. Mina is doing what she's always done best, taking disperate pieces of information and connecting them to find a lead to follow/build a plan of action. Even the words Dracula spoke specifically to torture her with fear are getting used against him, because they contained information and Mina knows what to do with information.

(I love her so much.)

But there's another element to this as well. A recurring theme with people who have been affected by Dracula is their inability to speak about what they know/have experienced. I used to think it was kind of a passive effect of him feeding off of you, but Renfield being unable to speak, and Mina telling the story on October 3rd, makes me think it is something he does deliberately, or at least can choose to suspend partially when convenient.

So far, the effects of this ability seem to have been thus:

Lucy hid her bite marks. She only vaguely seemed able to connect her dreams and the bats to what was happening to her in her diary, but unable to speak of them. She tore up the final message she had written** while asleep.

Renfield was unable to speak directly about Dracula coming to him and being let into the asylum, or about him preying upon Mina, despite clearly trying as hard as he could to get the information across.

Mina had all the pieces but for the first time wasn't able to see the relevance of them, so despite knowing Dracula was next door and knowing what she dreamed of matched his other victims' experiences, she dismissed those as nothing but fear/worries. She clung to Jonathan and was obviously subconsciously aware but not on any level she could verbalize (aloud or even to herself). She was able to tell of the attack that involved her directly speaking with Dracula, and that was witnessed by others. Either this means this ability only works when their is some level of plausible deniability, so to speak, or he deliberately wanted to torment them all with what he told her. I definitely lean towards the latter.

** (I think Dracula deliberately allowed Lucy to write her memorandum as a final taunt before her death, but when he came by the next day and she was still alive for the time being, he wanted it gone so he could still have access to her without showing his hand too much. This is supported by her writing of the specks swirling in the room, suggesting he was there watching her write the letter. It's very in-character for him to want to taunt his defeated foes and let them know how she suffered, but he was trying to remain hidden the entire time he was preying upon Lucy so I think he didn't want to confirm any suspicions they may have had about his abilities and give them more ways to counter him. They already were learning with the garlic flowers.)

So Mina emphasizing that she knows of a way she can speak freely is so interesting to me. She has found a workaround, bringing the information trapped in her subconscious to the fore and giving voice to the part of herself that knew all along what was happening but couldn't reach the surface. Even what happens after she is woken supports this, since she had to ask about what she'd said but didn't seem surprised by any of it. Deep down she already knew.

This relationship between the subconscious and the vampires is nothing new. They have been putting people in trances only when they're in some kind of vulnerable state like Lucy's sleepwalking or Jonathan's misery clouding his mind as he stared blankly out the window - and even then he was awake and could more easily break free, unlike when he was half-asleep and nearly eaten on the couch. Van Helsing was sure that Lucy dying in her sleep was why she became a vampire, and that it even had an effect on her undead self. We know of this.

However this is the first time anyone on our side has deliberately tapped into it. And it immediately pays off by unlocking those hidden experiences. (Which brings up heartbreaking questions, like 'if they'd thought to hypnotize Lucy would she have told them exactly what was happening to her?') Mina has reversed the usual course, has tapped into Dracula's subconscious instead (or at least that is how I have read it). She isn't merely in his body - she is him, for a little while, at least a little bit:

"Then you are on a ship?" We all looked at each other, trying to glean something each from the other. We were afraid to think. The answer came quick:—

"Oh, yes!"

"What else do you hear?"

"The sound of men stamping overhead as they run about. There is the creaking of a chain, and the loud tinkle as the check of the capstan falls into the rachet."

"What are you doing?"

"I am still—oh, so still. It is like death!" The voice faded away into a deep breath as of one sleeping, and the open eyes closed again.

By this time the sun had risen, and we were all in the full light of day.

This is where I come back to my original point about Mina using first-person pronouns here. As she is asked questions, she describes not only hearing sounds, but is able to identify them as distinct objects. I don't think Mina personally has enough knowledge of ships to immediately recognize the capstan falling into the racket - that is Dracula, knowing he is aboard and what is happening. Similarly, Mina is able to immediately confirm that she's on a ship when asked. She doesn't puzzle it out or clue anything together, she just knows because Dracula knows and she's currently at least partially Dracula.

It's only when the questions shift from what is around her to what she herself is doing that she wakes. This could be partially about the time, but since dawn is already fully over I'm not so sure. It may be that focusing on Dracula himself has drawn his attention and he cuts the connection off. Or maybe it is dangerous for Mina to dive too deeply into feeling what Dracula feels, and some part of her is what breaks the connection.

Regardless, I find this whole scene fascinating. Especially in the context of how Jonathan and Dracula are stealing/exchanging traits from one another:

Dracula stole Jonathan's identity

Dracula has gotten younger/darker hair while Jonathan now has white hair

Jonathan climbing on walls/out windows like Dracula

Dracula making Mina 'his', like he's stealing Jonathan's marriage and instituting his own version

Dracula is now the one making a mad dash to flee the country while Jonathan is the one consumed with an unholy drive to destroy

...and so on. But here, Mina is tapping into this exchange of identities as well. Dracula is trying to make her like him? She becomes him, and uses it to help them all hunt him down and destroy him for good.

It's just super fascinating to me.