#and the moment law comes back he is so happy he is not even mad law left for a bit in the first place

[baby-xemnas]

😭😭😭

[the-fluff-piece]

Invisible

This is a SAD story with no heartwarming happy end or moment of redemption. It's the middle of the night and I feel depressed, so why not write some sad fiction

You've loved Sanji for a while, but he doesn't even see you. When Nami asks to switch bodies for a day, you experience his devotion for a short while - before going back to being invisible for him

Part 2

Part 3 is actually a choose your own adventure type!

Part 3.1: Zoro or Sanji?

Part 3.2: Law or Sanji?

Also check out my stories and headcanon masterlists

You weren't sure what she was planning, but Nami assured you that it was of the utmost importance that she borrow your body for a day. She also swore by her mother's trees that it wasn't anything illegal. And also all the money you owed her would be forgotten - so it seemed overall like an acceptable deal.

She somehow blackmailed your crews ally Trafalgar Law into this to make the switch. So when you anchored at an amusement island full of casinos and shopping opportunities, you found yourself in the thin, busty, long legged body of hers.

You looked down at her - in your body - and couldn't help but frown at the small, mousy girl looking up at you with Nami's glint in her eyes.

"Thanks Y/n, take good care of my body. See you tonight!" She saluted you and sprinted off the ship with determination.

Unsure what to do, you wobbled to Nami's closet on your much to long legs that were in much too high heels. Hopefully she had something like a shirt, you felt naked in her Jeans and Bikini Top combo.

Eventually, you found a simple shirt with a round neck and some flats and felt more like yourself immediately.

Getting out into the sun, you enjoyed the feeling of a cool breeze playing with her long hair and sighed.

"Oh Nami-swaaaaan how wonderful to see you this morning! I made extra tasty breakfast for you todaaayyyy!" Sanji screamed with his usual slurred voice. It took you a few seconds to make the connection that he, indeed, was talking to you. Or Nami, wich was gone for the day.

You turned and looked at Sanji who was prancing towards you with heart eyes and an excited expression.

"May I accompany you to the table mademoiselle?" He held out his arm.

You took it, and your heart already pounded like mad in your chest. He was gorgeous, smart and charming. He was strong and kind and had dominated your thoughts since you joined the crew.

Too bad you never lived up to the standard he had for women. Small, mousy, not at all shapely or beautiful. He treated you friendly, but way too often he seemed to overlook you. And he never, ever treated you like your female crewmates.

So this felt new and exciting, his blue eyes looked at you for the first time, really seeing, even if it was not you he really looked at.

Happily, you let him walk you to breakfast and push your chair to the table that was already loaded with all kinds of the crew's favorite food.

"Y/n not coming?" He asked when one seat remained empty.

"She left for the city just a few minutes ago" you answered.

"Very well" He said and absent mindedly took the plate and cutlery away to make place.

Usually, you ate and goofed around with Usopp and Chopper, but of course, you are not here, Nami is. You've barely taken a bite out of your toast when Sanji already inquired if it's to your liking, while simultaneously barking at Luffy and Zoro to remember their manners.

"Nami-swaaan, my sunshine, my diamond, do you need anything else?" He asked, totally in love.

"Uhm, maybe a tea?" You answered, still a little perplexed. He never asked you anything like that before.

"Tea? Of course, right away my angel!" He cooed and hurried back to the kitchen, preparing the tea.

The rest of the breakfast continued just like that - Sanji asking endlessly for your wishes and getting to work immediately when you so much as whispered an answer.

Afterwards, everyone was getting ready to explore the island. You were planning to look through a few bookstores and end the day reading at a cafe.

"Nami-swaaaan, may I accompany you to the city? I will carry all your shopping bags!" He begged you eagerly.

"I don't plan on doing so much shopping..." You said with your hands raised in defense of his onslaught of affection.

"I'll just look around a bit and maybe get a book" you explained as Sanji already sank to one knee, taking your hand.

"Than I will be your bodyguard, the city is dangerous!" He informed you and like that, it was settled that he would come with you.

He wore one of his more casual outfits - a brightly colored hawaian shirt, a fitting tie and short cargo pants - so you two looked more like cringey tourists and less like pirates together.

Going with Sanji to explore the city felt almost like a date, commenting on clothing in shop windows and what would look so nice on Nami's body. You didn't plan on buying clothes that day, you didn't exactly know what she would like anyway, but he was very, very insisting that you at least try on a few things.

Unsure what to do, you left the decision to Sanji and he immediately lead you into one of the store

You tried a few things, just basic shirts and a dress, and of course it looked gorgeous on Nami. She could have worn a potatoe sack and look like a million beri. Sanji was almost swooning and loving every bit of it.

"So beautiful!" He gushed. "Nice body!" He squealed in delight. "Why don't you try this bikini?" He asked as he held up a few shreds of fabric.

"Why don't you try on something?" You asked him, already thinking what kinds of shirts or jackets would suit him best, and trying to discourage him from suggesting more revealing outfits.

____

Meanwhile at the Casino

Nami wandered past the picture of herself with the fat letters "DO NOT BELIEVE THIS WOMAN" and chuckled to herself. The owner of that chain of casinos kind of had a grudge against her, but the new face she was wearing couldn't be more inconspicuous. And she didn't directly do anything illegal, so it will be absolute fine.

-------

You

Soon, you flattered him into wearing some nice shirts that accentuated his bright eyes and slender frame. Much like Nami, he could wear pretty much anything and look fabulous, now it was your turn to gush about his looks and search for more outfits.

"Are you sure you don't want to try any more?" He asked insecurely as you handed him another suit to try. He didn't seem to be used to being on that side of the conversation, he talked softly and shyly all of a sudden.

"Do you really think this looks good on me?" He would ask again and again, revealing his sweet side even more.

"Of course, Sanji-kun! You look so handsome in that shirt." You said and saw his cheeks flush like he was a cute maiden.

"In fact, I like it so much that I'll buy it for you" eliciting an expression of pure shock from him.

"That is so nice, but what interest do you want?" He asked, already afraid that he was driven into debt. Of course, Zoro already was looking at an amount he would never pay off in his life, something Sanjin surely wanted to avoid.

"No, I really want to give you a gift. Promise!" You said and took out your purse.

"Really? A gift from my beautiful Nami-swan? I was never more happy!" He was almost crying from joy.

Leaving the store, he hummed and cuddled the fine dress shirt that you bought him, thinking it was a gift from his beloved. He looked so happy and sweet, you would love to shower him with gifts endlessly.

"How about we take a break, eat lunch at a restaurant?" You asked him, getting used to interacting with him in this new constellation. Of course he would say yes and of course he would be delighted at the chance.

"Yes, of absolutely! I'll find the best restaurant in town for you!" He promised and already started to walk towards the restaurant mile.

Like a researcher, he studied every restaurant meticulously, almost like his life depended on it. After what felt like an eternity, he finally decided for a small seaside bistro that looked not at all fancy or outstanding.

As he guided you to a table, he explained: "it may not look like much but their kitchen is filled with fresh herbs and they have few, but excellent dishes."

And he was right, it was fresh and delicious. You used the opportunity to get to know him better, since he usually didn't talk so lengthy to you.

"Tell me about yourself? A few stories from the baratie perhaps?" You asked, shamelessly nosy.

He looked like you had just gifted him the all blue on a pladder.

"You really want to know? About me?" He tentatively asked.

You nodded.

"Oh damn...where should I start? There's so many stories..." Once he started he almost couldn't stop, he seemed delighted by Nami's attention. She usually treated him politely, but held him at arms length if she didn't need anything. You felt a bit bad for changing the relationship somewhat, but you couldn't help but bask just for this one day in his company. Those blue eyes fixed on you, sparkling with joy and love, his pretty mouth telling you about his life. Moments that could be treasured long after this freak magic ended.

You hung on his lips and both of you forgot the time. He told you about the cooks that raised him, how Zeff trained him and how he went from a clueless kid to a master cook.

It felt like you got to know so many new sides to him and you fell in love with all of them. You knew that he was kind, but you didn't know that he loved animals as well. When a cute dog wandered by - telling by his round shape no doubt the villages favorite stray - Sanji absent mindedly scratched it behind the ears and gave it his leftovers.

It got late and the sun was already low in the sky.

"Time to head home, I don't want Luffy to starve tonight" He said with a chuckle.

Over already? He finally relaxed and opened up like never before, desperate to get just a few more moments with him you said: "come on, it's not that late. I bet they already bought something to eat in town. Let's search for a nice spot and watch the sunset!"

He looked speechless, the cigarette he just lit hung loosely from his lips.

"Uhm...sunset...watch...together???" He stammered in shock. "SO IT IS A DATE" he screamed and proceeded to bleed waterfalls from his nose.

No! You promised you wouldn't get Nami into trouble.

"No! No date! You know what, this is my fault, let's get back to the ship." You protested and tried to save the situation.

"What date? Who said something about a date? I just wanted to...uhm..buy some dates for dessert, yes. Let's watch the sunset as friends." He tried to save the situation.

Lucky for him, all you wanted was this moment with him, but without getting Nami into a situation she didn't want.

You found a spot on a low brick wall along the beach and watched the sun paint the sky in violet, pink and soft blue. It was calm and peaceful and you took deep breaths as you took in the beautiful scenery.

You turned to look at Sanji, but he was already staring at you, his mouth open.

"You're so God damn fucking beautiful" He whispered.

"You look like an angel..." he continued and leaned in to kiss you with heavy lidded eyes, competitively enchanted. You forgot who you were and why you were here, all that existed was this gorgeous, soft, wonderful man and you. Your eyes fluttered shut as your heart kicked into overdrive.

"Oh Nami-San" He whimpered when you could already feel his deep, nervous breaths on your face - slapping you back into reality.

This was not your kiss to have. This man didn't even want you. What you did there was deeply, deeply wrong on many levels. You jerked back, gasping, leaving Sanji to lose his balance and crash to the pavement below.

"Oh Nami-swan, your love is hitting me like a brick wall" he said, looking up at you with crossed eyes and a bleeding nose.

Panic rose inside of you - not only did you practically lie to your crewmate Sanji, you abused the body of your friend as well. You looked down her body, reminding you that none of this should be happening. You grabbed the cook at his collar and heaved him up. Emulating Nami's more demanding voice you say:

"NOTHING happened between us today, you hear me? NOTHING. We had a nice shopping tour, ate something AND THAT'S IT."

Baffled and with slightly wet eyes, Sanji nodded.

"And now we're going home." You said and dragged him to his feet. Ignoring his softly whispered questions, you stalked back to the ship on long legs that weren't yours, left a helpless and absolutely devastated Sanji on deck, and shut yourself in the girl's room

_____

Meanwhile: Nami

A broad grin in her face and a big sack of money on her back, Nami left the casino. She won - fair and square. She didn't always need to revert to robbery to get what she wanted - give her a card table and a bit of time and she wins everything just like that.

Nami was banned from all major casinos, so she didn't get to play as much. It was so much fun, she may have overdone it with the beer a little...y/n would surely understand.

_____

You

Finally, Nami came back, a very sour looking Law in her grasp. After putting everyone in the right body again, Nami gave him a brown paper envelope that he checked briefly, called her a witch, and left for good.

Crushed by guilt and feeling strangely dizzy, you confessed your guilt.

"I swear nothing really happened...I told him to forget it...I'M SO. SO. SORRY!" You collapsed at her feet as she turned in front of the mirror, admiring herself.

"Ah, thanks for the heads up. I'll deal with him, don't worry." She said, totally relaxed as she squeezed her boobs in both hands and pursed her lips, admiring the pose in the mirror.

"God, I missed these two!" She finally exclaimed and dressed in a bikini top and hotpants.

"So he'll be a little more annoying than usual. No biggie. Oh and...by the way? Maybe stay away from casinos for a few months" She said with a wink and ran down to the kitchen for dinner.

You felt like you couldn't show your face to Sanji ever again, when you remembered that you didn't spend the day with him. Nami has. And she would handle it.

You swayed down the stairs and sat down, there was no plate in front of you. Fair enough, you weren't really hungry. You watched Sanji as he carefully wooed Nami with special treats and compliments, all the while looking sad and small. When you finally decided to get up and get your own plate, he mumbled "oh sorry y/n, didn't think you were coming" barely glancing at you. "Just help yourself" He said as he pointed to the mountains of food on the table.

He stalked around Nami for the whole evening, ignoring you completely. Now that you've known how his attention and love felt, his indifference stung more than you could ever have imagined. And there was nothing you could do about it, you were just you. Not interesting.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you excused yourself hastily, fully crying before you could reach the relative privacy of the girls dorm.

You were crying over your own shortcomings, over perfect moments that would never come back, over blue eyes that would never look at you ever again, your pathetic weakness. Agitated, you threw yourself on your bed, bud were unable to fall asleep.

You decided to take a bath to feel better, and it helped, even just a little. Spending a long time relaxing in the hot water, you finally got tired and decided to give sleep another try.

As you walked back to the girls room, shriveled up like dried fruit and with ouffy eyes, you saw Sanji lean over the railing, smoking and looking out to the sea. He looked lost in thought, sad. You would have loved to comfort him, give him just the tiniest piece of happiness back, but it was pointless. He whispered something under his breath. Deciding against eavesdropping, you returned to bed and left him by himself.

-------

Epilogue

"You did quite a number on that guy. He brought me flowers this morning, can you imagine?" Nami told you, chuckling.

"White roses. He's really lost" She added, looking at you for some reaction.

"Sorry..." You muttered, your voice trailing off.

"I shouldn't have..."

"Don't feel bad, I'll be alright. It doesn't matter anyway if I'm too nice to him or kick him in the face, he'll be into me no matter what. It's annoying but harmless, and sometimes useful" She winked at you, trying to lift the mood.

"You know, it's not your fault he made it into a date. Bet he just coerced you into it, you're too nice!" Nami went on, you looked away, flushing.

"It's not like you wanted it, right?" She asked.

"Right?" She added a bit more insecurely.

"Oh." Her eyes went wide at your pained expression.

"Oh, well, uhm. An idiot like that for a nice girl like you? Nah!" She grimaced as your face darkened more and more.

"You deserve so much better! Some day you'll find the one" She talked on, slowly realising that it was not exactly making you feel better.

"Haha...sorry" She pouted.

"It's okay, I'll get over it." You answered.

"You're strong, you will." Nami patted your back and finally left.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Ughhhh, it happened again! I swear this is almost every time I go out these days, it's getting ridiculous! I was out running errands, about to get some coffee, when I took a moment to hold my belly and pant a bit. You know, normal contractions every girl carrying quintuplets gets like constantly. I'm only six months along! But I guess an ambulance parked nearby saw it and, well, you know the new laws. Basically pregnant girls are public property, and at least in my line of work (school teacher), I have to maintain a pregnant physique or I can get fined, even lose my job. Same with healthcare, food service, retail, hospitality.... Most jobs, honestly. Welcome to Georgia, I guess. Still happy I got transferred here a couple years ago but these laws are a bit out of hand.....

Speaking of which! The ambulance pulls up, two men come out. I try to stop them but they insist on testing me for signs of labor. I explain that I'm only six months and they tell me to be quiet so they can do their jobs. They remove my clothes with scissors and shoot me up with some kind of opioid that makes me really loopy and high. They take me to the hospital as the men take videos of me on their phones, spreading my legs, showing off my pussy, spreading it open under the guise of looking for how dilated I am. But they were literally playing with my pussy, rubbing it, sticking their fingers in with gloves, shoving instruments into it. At one point about seven different instruments were jammed into my pussy and I came, squirted all over. They got mad and told me if I act up like that they can't perform their jobs. I apologized for cumming.

They took me in and surprise-surprise, the ER was full of pregnant girls. Some were texting on their phones, shaking their heads as they got C-sections, filming themselves having it done, as others impatiently waited to be stitched up afterwards, grumbling about just wanting to go home and get knocked up again already. Aloof male nurses and physicians would pass them by and tell them not to be so impatient, that they were very busy...... mostly just probing and abusing cute pregnant girls.

They ran their 'tests'..... again, happened to me just a few days ago. So I'm used to it. They squeeze my tits and got 'milk samples'. I have to give them urine samples, over and over, as I piss with no privacy in a busy auditorium they used as an ER, full of girls like me, with various lines for either labor, forced C-sections, or general 'testing'. They of course gave me an enema, in a crowded room, complaining about the mess I was making as other girls were subjected to the same in one corner that was all tile with some showerheads. We were sprayed off and dried off as they had salon workers there doll us up before we were subjected to 'labor sensitivity testing'.

I tried explaining that I'm six months but they had ten different men with huge cocks fuck my pussy. A few even tried my ass, too, to see if I was susceptible to being induced. Nope. My womb can handle all the punishment Georgia can throw at it. I commute on public transportation, doesn't matter how pregnant I am, men try to fuck the babies out of me, like, every day. No luck! So, after that they told me I was OK'd to go home, as my babies weren't quite big enough for them to put me in the C-section area with all those other bored influencer girls.

So, with my hospital bracelet, purse, and jewelry as my only clothing, they spanked me on my way out the door of the hospital and told me not to be a stranger. I walked home naked, got fucked about ten times on the way back. I was even paid by a few guys who thought I was turning tricks. Guess I can add whore to my resume now. I even got fucked in line, paying for my coffee. The man behind me didn't say a word. I started paying and he just rammed his cock in me and started fucking me. Big fat nerdy guy, but his cock was big. Probably hasn't showered in a week. Instead of telling him to stop having his way with me, another cashier opened a different register, and they said nothing until he came inside me, spanked me, then smacked my belly a few times while climaxing. The cashier finally told me I was holding up the line after that, and I left, not before one of my neighbors fucked me as I checked our mailbox. He apologized afterword and told me I look incredibly sexy so pregnant. I thanked him and reminded him I'm only six months.... Now it's time for a shower. After that I might go back out. Who knows.... another ambulance might spot me. ❤️"

[icaberries]

What if the Vinsmokes were in the Wano Arc?

Go read Part 1 here but TL;DR the Vinsmokes regain their ability to feel emotions and escape Germa with Sanji and the Strawhats.

Mostly headcanons with a side of canon plot.

They’re still modded physically, but now their pain receptors are active so they’re dealing with the ramifications of years of neglecting their body. Ichiji is partially blind from using Valkyrie, Niji has burn marks all over his body, and Yonji has chronic pain in his wrists. It's a struggle, but they feel like they deserve it after all the torment they inflicted.

Ichiji comes across traditional tattoo shops in Wano and decides to get new tattoos on a whim. The ‘1’ tattoo he had before had been his first rebellion against his father and now that he’s free he wants to add more to it. He gets tattoos for all his siblings along his other arm—a pink butterfly for Reiju, a blue lightning bolt for Niji, a green clover for Yonji and a yellow sun for Sanji. It helps to ground him when the Feelings™ get overwhelming and reminds him that he’s not alone in this world. 

The drama in Shokugeki no Sanji with Sanji’s soba stall still happens, only this time he’s backed up by the rest of his siblings who glares at the soba competitors in submission. 

Reiju is first in line when the soba stall officially opens. She’d had to fight her brothers and the Strawhats for it. Robin is a close second but only because Reiju was distracted by her. If you know what I mean ;) 

The handcuffs left marks on Sanji’s wrists. Surprisingly, it’s Niji who asks why Sanji’s hands are so precious to him and Sanji tells them about Baratie and Zeff. There’s something about the sparkle in Sanji’s eyes as he talks that draws them in, the way he speaks so highly and softly about his found family on the East Blue. They wonder, if somewhere down the line, Sanji would speak about them with that same fond tone. 

Niji gifts Sanji a pair of dark brown leather gloves, long enough to cover the marks on his wrist. Sanji wears it to the raid and Niji is quite proud of it and claims he must be Sanji's favorite brother now. Until Ichiji chimes in and says that Sanji’s hairstyle as Stealth Black/Soba Mask is more similar to his and confidently declares himself as Sanji’s favorite brother. Ichiji and Niji argue for hours.  

(It’s actually Yonji who's the favorite. Sanji only has one little brother and he’s got a soft spot for him.) 

Just imagine Law, Basil Hawkins and X Drake watching Soba Mask. Now imagine them seeing a group of brightly-colored siblings cheering on Soba Mask, while they themselves look like Sparking Red, Electric Blue, Wench Green and Poison Pink. It’s a good day to be a North Blue fanboy in Wano. 

AND NOW FOR SOME ANGST!

They witness Sanji awakening his modifications and for a brief moment they’re happy that Sanji caught up to them like he always wanted, until they see the horrified look on Sanji’s face. He looks so afraid to turn out like them, to the point that he’d ask his own crewmate (Zoro) to take him down if he ever ended up like them. They’re not even mad. They’re just sad and guilty that Sanji felt that way. 

There’s a brief lull in the battle and Reiju pulls her brothers aside to tell them about their mother and her sacrifice. She told Sanji that story so he’d remember that his life was worth living and being kind. Now she’s telling the same story to Ichiji, Niji and Yonji so they can remember the same thing. Sora wanted them to live and be good. 

After his fight with Queen, the brothers hug it out. Reiju may or may not have taken a picture.

Right after that, the brothers now hug Reiju! Because she deserves it alright! Years of pretending for Judge, of keeping her brother's in check and dealing with their mother's death, Reiju did her best to be there for all of them. Now she gets to see her little brothers grow up into the good people their mother wanted them to be and she can finally stop pretending. She can be herself again <3

(I love Reiju sm yall but that's just the eldest daughter syndrome talking)

The road to redemption is paved with triumphs and stumbles. It’s just fortunate for them that Sanji has a good sense of direction. 

AND NOW BACK TO FLUFF!

Yonji continues to cement himself as the favorite when he calls Chuji the cutest thing in the world and proceeds to share his snacks with the little guy. Niji and Ichiji never stood a chance. Little brother is strong and is hitting all of Sanji's buttons.

The worst part of regaining emotions though? It’s not the gooey mushy feelings of love, or the cold guilt and shame over their past mistakes, it’s the annoyance they now feel whenever they witness Roronoa Zoro flirt with their oblivious brother. They can’t stand him. Unfortunately, he makes Sanji happy so they’re forced to seethe on the sidelines while Zoro picks another fight/flirting session with Sanji. 

Reiju doesn’t tell them that it’s not just Zoro they have to worry about. Trafalgar Law keeps finding an excuse to check Sanji over for his “health”, a jaguar mink keeps asking him out to smoke together, don’t even get her started on Basil Hawkins and X Drake asking her for her blessing. That’s not even counting Sanji’s other suitors who aren’t in Wano right now. Their baby brother is quite the popular guy.

[jongseongsnudes]

twenty five.

warning; ⛵ 1.2k words.

masterlist.

“i’m so happy you guys could make it!” sooji hugs you tightly as she says so, ecstatic the moment you stepped through the entrance, “you look so beautiful, i definitely have some competition tonight at my own event.”

competition. how ironic. you weren’t her competition.

“you’re just being nice sooji but thank you.”

your words has her in giggles, her hand rubbing your arm sweetly as if she’s known you all her life, “i have to greet some guests. i’ll find you guys in a bit okay?”

“what a joke,” beomgyu leans down to comment as you both watch sooji walk away, the man shrugging at the sight, “i don’t think she’s even your competition love, you’re both on completely different tiers.”

“oh my god beomgyu you can’t say that!”

“choi beomgyu speaks the truth only, unfortunately.”

you can’t help but laugh at his usual non sense, your hand going up to playfully cover his mouth. it’s something you’ve been doing quite a bit of as of lately with how much the man loved to joke so inappropriately all the time, especially in settings like this.

as you’re busy joking around, you suddenly get that feeling. when someone’s staring at you from afar and true to your intuitions, someone really is.

you spot sunghoon in the corners of your eyes, making his way towards you and like every other time, your knees literally buckle. his eyes are on you, a soft grin plastered across his face. you’d be lying if you said it didn’t immediately elicit something from you, your poor stomach doing that cliched backflip just from the sight of the man. but there’s an additional feeling to that, a hint of uneasiness, something you’ve been feeling a lot lately when it came to sunghoon.

and it’s definitely not a good thing.

“wow. breath taking aren’t you, step sis?” sunghoon’s shameless gaze up and down your dress was a little too daring if you could say so yourself but it’s the way he leans in to hug you that has you holding your breath. his arm is so tightly around the smalls of your waist, pulling you right into him, embracing you as if no one is around.

you almost melt, having his cologne so rudely intrude all your senses at once. one you’ve always loved.

“you need to be gentle, brother in law,” you hear beomgyu say as his hand clasps your shoulder, pulling you slightly back and away from your step brother, “or you’ll suffocate my poor fiancé.”

beomgyu’s seemingly innocent words seems to evoke something from sunghoon, evident from his raised brows and taunting smirk.

“i like to believe that i’m always gentle when it comes to her,” your step brother scoffs as he says so, the innuendo so obvious, you’re sure anyone would’ve picked it up. “wouldn’t you say so-”

“ah actually i just remembered! i need to talk to sunghoon about something regarding my mum,” you grab onto sunghoon’s arm, interrupting the man mid sentence, “we’ll be right back.”

you manage to act as normal as possible while practically dragging your step brother through the crowd, only letting go once you’re both around the corner and out of everyone’s view.

“are you out of your mind? people are going to get suspicious if you keep saying things like that.”

he looks down at you as though you’ve said something so outrageous, his eyes glaring holes into your face. the man is evidently displeased, lips pursed in a straight line and brows dawning over his eyes, an expression you used to see so often when you first met him. 

“i am out of my mind,” he laughs mockingly, “because while i’m trying to stop your marriage with choi, you go cuddling up with him instead.”

“your date is literally right around this corner sunghoon, you have no right to get mad at me for acting my role!”

you were barely one to raise your voice, ever, but this situation felt so unfair that you just had to. like the man was blaming the entirety of it all on you while knowing that you had no say.

“acting your role? if you’re like that in public, how are you at home? do you fuck him and call it acting-”

slap.

your mind didn’t process what had happened until it was too late, your hand now numb from colliding with sunghoon’s cheek a moment earlier.

you’ve dealt with a nasty sunghoon since day one but this was getting too much for you to handle. this whole back and forth thing was getting tiring, something people were bound to catch onto. especially beomgyu, sooji and worse, mr park.

“how can you say that...” your voice trembles with every word, tears now forming in your eyes, all your built up frustration finally spilling over, “i- i can’t believe you... sunghoon. i’m done.”

if you were unsure where your relationship stood with this man before you came here tonight, well you were certain about it now.

there was never any hope and there never will be.

“is... is everything okay guys?”

sooji’s sudden soft voice breaks the intense stare down between you and your step brother, both of you having been too immersed in the situation to even notice her standing barely a metre away... with your fiancé right behind her.

you’re internally freaking out over the possibility of them having heard your conversation but the way beomgyu walks over to you with such soften eyes tells you otherwise.

“tell me what’s wrong,” he carefully wipes your tears away as he asks, his tone full of concern, just like the expression on his face. it’s a look you’ve never seen from him before, from someone so obnoxiously flirty, so usually unserious.

the air around you gets ten times thicker when he suddenly glances to sunghoon, as if immediately sensing that your tears had something to do with the man. you don’t miss the way he turns his entire body that way, the two of them ready for confrontation but confrontation was definitely not what you needed more of tonight.

“just some stuff at home but... everything’s fine. can we go grab a drink please?” you were quick to grab onto your fiancé’s arm to get his attention back on you but unfortunately you don’t only get his, you gain your step brother’s as well. sunghoon simply scoffs at the sight like it didn’t affect him but you know it did.

“of course. anything you want,” a smile appears on beomgyu’s face again as he looks down at how you’re holding him, relief with a hint of amazement in his eyes. patting your hand with his, the man pulls you along, taking you away from a situation that shouldn’t have been one to begin with.

the situation being park sunghoon.

end.

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[somanyratsinthewalls]

Burning Hearts Chapter 15

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC 

Summary: *THE FIRE IS FINALLY BURNING AND ITS HOT!!!!* You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

**SMUT!!! MINORS DNI!!!! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!**

TW: Mentions of S Abuse, Oral Sex, Kissing?

Taglist: @zoros-fourth-sword @cottoncandyloverrrr @nothing-but-brass @airwolf92

Burning Hearts Chapter 15: A Moment's Peace?

— —

On the way back from training in the morning, Daisy reminded Law to eat. 

Law remembers this moment as he sits at his desk taking notes from old medical journals. The memory is triggered by the loud growling coming from his stomach. He opens his desk drawer to his left to retrieve some candy and a bag of shrimp chips, as he usually does when the hunger pangs hit. Law looks down into the drawer and spies nothing but wrappers and crumbs. Since when did he run out? Not important now…

Law sighs. He pushes his chair back from his wooden desk and rises to his tired feet. He sluggishly roams from his quarters to the galley and pushes the double swinging doors open. He is met with giggling and quiet conversation that abruptly halts upon his entrance. Law looks to his left and see Ikkaku and Penguin sharing a cup of coffee at the dining table. Penguin clears his throat and Ikkaku shifts her chair farther away from Penguin. 

“Hi Captain!” Penguin exclaims as he sees Law enter the kitchen.

“Is there more coffee?” Law asks.

“Yeah, should be some in the pot.” Ikkaku rises from her seat, cheeks a bit pink. “I promised Daisy I’d help in the garden this afternoon since she’s leaving with you tomorrow. See you boys later.” Ikkaku runs her hand through her curls and swiftly slips out of the kitchen. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Law states as he pours himself a cup of coffee. 

“I-interrupt? N-no! Course not! I-I mean, what would you even be interrupting, haha!” Penguin stutters as he awkwardly busies his hands by smoothing out his jumpsuit over his chest. Law grabs an apple out of the fruit bowl on the counter and makes his way to the dining table to sit down. Law settles in a seat across from Penguin and takes a bit of the apple, juice spraying onto the wooden surface. 

“I-I have bathroom duty today I should probably-“ Penguin says as he stands up from the table to hard that he nearly knocks the chair backwards. 

“Sit.” Law states. 

“Yes Captain!” Penguin slams his lanky ass back into the seat immediately. 

“I know about you two.” Law says casually as he takes another chomp out of the apple. 

“W-what? Captain I am sure I don’t know what you’re talking about! I can assure you that nothing-” Sweat droplets begin to fall from underneath Penguin’s signature cap. 

“Cut the shit. I’m not mad.” Law swallows his food. “I’ll admit I don’t love the idea. Could get messy, create tension among the crew…” Law leans forward with his elbows meeting the table. “But my place is not to meddle in the personal relationships of my crew. If you’re happy, and if she’s happy, and from what I hear she is… Then you’re free to do what you want.” 

Penguin stares dumbstruck across the wooden dining table at his captain. 

“I.. I mean… T-thanks? I.. how did you…?” Penguin asks nervously. 

“You’ve been terrorizing Ikkaku’s neighbors late at night, from the reports I’ve gotten.” Law finishes the apple and creates a quick “room” to teleport it into the compost bin (insisted upon by Daisy) before dispelling it. 

Penguin’s face turns beet red and he hangs his head. 

“That’s so embarrassing…” Penguin says through his hands that were covering his face. 

Law raises and waves a tattooed hand casually in the air. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just maybe look into in sound-proofing the walls.” 

“Right, I-I’m sorry, Captain.” Penguin sighs. 

“I did want to ask…” Law lowers his eyes to his mug full of black coffee. 

Penguin removes his hands and looks up at his captain. 

“When you… perform these acts… Ikkaku, she seems… to enjoy it?” Law asks, trying to hide his nervousness at broaching this subject. He takes a sip of coffee, attempting to seem casual. 

“I- Um, what do you mean, Captain?” Penguin cocks his head. 

“Does it make her happy, what you do to her?” Law tries to clarify. 

“I… I think so… I mean it seems like it… You’re our captain, I don’t know if I should-“ 

“We were friends before I became your captain, no?” 

“You’re right… But I guess yeah she does enjoy it, now she does at least.” Penguin huffs out a light chuckle. “I was pretty terrible at it at first.” 

“And… and how did you get better at it?” Law’s breathing quickened but tried to keep his cool. 

“Wait, Captain are you-“ Penguin furrowed his brow further. 

“I’m just asking. As a friend.”

“Right… well she really just told me how to do it. It took some practice but I basically just asked her to show me what… feels good, I guess…” 

“I see. Thank you for this information.” Law rises to his feet and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. “I’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon, call us on the transponder snail if there’s an emergency. Don’t get too crazy while I’m gone, but if you do, there are condoms in the medical cabinet.” Law states with as straight face as he exits the kitchen without glancing at the mortified expression of his loyal crew member. 

— — 

“You have everything you need?” Law inquires as you enter the control room of the submarine. 

“Probably? Even if did forget my wallet, you’re paying for everything right?” You smile and toss your bag onto a metal table. 

“What do you have against going dutch? I’m not made of money.” 

“You’re the one employed by the world government, I’m pretty sure you can afford to take me to dinner.” You chuckle. 

“And who says I’m taking you to dinner?” Law looks up from the ship’s controls and smirks at you. You take off your plaid overshirt and ball it up to chuck it at his head. 

“Asshole.” 

— — 

“Thanks for the new clothes, it’s so weird I always feel like I’m running out of underwear.” You thank Law for letting you stop at the ladies fashion store in town to grab a few essentials. 

“That is weird…” 

“Hey the suns going down. You wanna get something to eat? I’ll even split the bill.” You look at Law and wink as you walk down the cobblestone sidewalk. 

“Sure. There’s a nice place at the end of this street somewhere I think it’s on the corner…” Law squints and tries to find the restaurant sign. “Oh there it is, wait… is that?” 

Standing at the far end of the street were three strangely familiar jumpsuit clad individuals. One of them, holding a black backpack, turns around and waves. 

“Hey! Captain! You forgot your bag! We thought you’d need it so we just used the mini sub to come find you!” Shachi shouts from across the street. 

“My gods…” Law rubs his face in frustration. 

“Hi guys!” You wave back and beckon Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin to cross the street and join you. The three men hurriedly jog across the street and you bid them all hello. 

“Hi Miss Daisy! Enjoying your day out?” Bepo asks as he pats your head with his large paw. 

“Very much so, big guy! We were just about to grab dinner at that seafood place on the corner. Why don’t you guys join us before you head back?” You smile cheerily up at the polar bear. You hear Law let out a huff from behind you and you turn around. Law raises his eyebrows at you and cocks his head, clearly irritated. You mouth “be nice” and turn back around to face the boys. 

“Well we wouldn’t want to interrupt-“ Penguin begins. 

“That sounds great! Let’s go!” Shachi shouts and turns tail to head towards the restaurant. 

— — 

You hold your wine glass up to your face to suppress your giggles. You sat at a white cloth covered table, candlelight illuminating your features, while classical music was performed in the corner of the fancy restaurant. You were seated directly across from Law, who was nursing a glass of whiskey with his head in his hand. This would be a wildly romantic dinner… if it wasn’t for the two men and polar bear that were seated at your sides. 

Bepo was inhaling the complimentary bread basket, of which he offered to Law and was met with a nasty glare. Penguin slammed his glass of expensive wine in one gulp and was looking for the waitress to order another. Shachi was the one waving over the beautiful blonde waitress. 

“My good lady, do you have any specials tonight?” Shachi says confidently as he holds the leather covered menu out in front of him. 

Law audibly groaned from across the table and you catch him roll his eyes. You laugh and sip your wine. It was clear that this dinner was something he had planned for… and planned for it to just be the two of you. You didn’t mind the company, it was actually quite sweet seeing the boys enjoying some luxuries for once. As soon as Shachi finished attempting to flirt with the poor waitress, you order another drink. 

You slip your sandal off under the table and use your bare foot to caress Law’s denim-clad calf affectionately. He notices your touch and looks up to meet you gaze. You smile at him sweetly and his sour expression softens a little. 

Once the food arrives, all other preoccupations are forgotten and the five of you drink and eat your fill of delicious goodies. You’re all laid back in your seats, full as tics, when the bill comes. You snatch it quickly out of the waitresses hand and place your berries on the tray. She thanks you and leaves before Law can even get out his wallet. He shoots you an angry look. 

“We have more business in town in the morning. We’re getting a room, err rooms… We’re getting rooms at the inn tonight. You three need to return tonight to take care of the base.” Law states blankly. 

“Alright Captain, but remember we’re just a snail call away!” Bepo smiles and reminds him.

“Trust me… I am acutely aware of that…” Law sighs.

— — 

“I can’t believe you bought dinner.” Law says, a bit more relaxed after the several whiskeys he enjoyed during the meal. 

“I was the one who invited them to eat with us, and you certainly looked pissed off about it.” You chuckled as you walked together towards the inn. “You can buy me a drink when we get there to make it up to me.”

“I can do that.” Law says as you continue down the sidewalk. “I can’t believe they just showed up here…” He sighs. 

“They love you. They worry about you. So sorry that you have a crew that cares about you!” You say sarcastically. 

You reach the inn and Law holds the door for you as he enters behind you. It was small and cozy, a small bar to your left and a staircase leading upstairs to the rooms to your right. There was a roaring fireplace crackling in the bar area with low hanging candlelit chandeliers lighting the room. 

“Get drinks, I’ll get our room.” Law nods you towards the small bar as he turned right to approach the reception counter. 

You take a seat on a wooden stool at the bar and smile at the bartender. 

“And what can I get for such a beautiful lady this evening?” 

“A glass of chardonnay and a whiskey neat for my-“ You pause. “…partner.” That sounded weird. But he certainly wasn’t your boyfriend… but he wasn’t just a friend either… oh well, you’d never see this guy again hopefully. 

The bartender nods and returns in a few moments with your beverages. You thank him with a soft smile. Law sidles up next to you and sits down, placing the room key on the bar top in front of you both. 

“If you want your own room, you’ll have to pay for it.” Law smirks and grabs his drink. 

“I’m broke after your crew ate up all my money at dinner. Didn’t peg Shachi for a caviar guy. Oh well. Guess I have no choice but to shack up with a dangerous warlord for the night.” You smile and pick up your glass of wine.

Law smiles so wide you almost see his teeth. He raises his glass to yours. 

“To finally being alone.”

You chuckle.  You clink your glass with his. 

“To ditching the kids.” 

You both laugh before you take a drink. 

— —

After a few more nightcaps, you and Law decide it was time to head off to your room. The alcohol in his system keeping him from remembering that he insisted on a low profile, Law grabs your waist as he walks with you up the stairs to your room. You yelp a little, almost losing your balance on the stairs. 

“Careful, Trafalgar.” You warn him in a low voice. 

“Here’s our room…” He unlocks the door and you’re greeted with modest accommodations. A queen sized bed with a fluffy quilt and an en suite bathroom. You enter the room and swing your bag off your shoulder. 

“I’m going to wash up and get into bed. I’m exhausted.” You remark as you head into the bathroom. Law hums in acknowledgment, sitting down in the armchair in the corner of the room. 

Once in the private bathroom you smooth your hair back into a bun and begin to wash your face. You dry your face on a fluffy white towel and strip your clothes off. You pull on a white tee shirt and a light grey pair of boy short panties to sleep in. Upon reentering the bedroom you find Law unpacking his own bag. He looks at you as your reach your arms up to let your hair down. The scruchie was stuck so it took a few moments to remove, your shirt ridden up far over your stomach exposing your brand. 

You meet Law’s eyes. 

“Don’t look at it.” You say sternly as you turn away and finish letting your hair down. 

“I’m sorry…” Law looks down at his things, embarrassed for caught staring at your biggest insecurity. 

A few silent minutes go by as you get ready for bed. 

“I think I could get rid of it.” You hear from behind you. 

“What?” You turn around and face Law, now standing closer to you than he was before. 

“I can heal the scar tissue. It might not completely remove it, but it would help minimize the overall appearance.” 

“Y-you can?” You ask with shaky breaths. Was he really offering to remove your brand? You made a point to never look at yourself naked, knowing what your eyes would be drawn to. Every single one of Grey Jaw’s slave girls were branded with his Jolly Roger on their abdomen, often spreading to their chest or their pelvic region. Yours was particularly large, reaching far down into your pubic area. You hated it so much. Not only did it remind you of your horrid past, but it made you feel disgusting and ugly. 

“You c-can take it o-off?” You move your hands to your lower stomach instinctively. 

Law nods. 

“I can try. Is that something you want?” He asks. 

You nod furiously, tears threatening to spill over at the prospect of finally being done with your abuser. 

“Can you do it now??” You say as you grab Law’s shoulders. 

“I…” Law looks down into your wet eyes, so hopeful and desperate. They sparkled up at him. “I can. Take your shirt off and lay down on the bed.” 

You did as you were told, ripping your t shirt over your head and laying on your back on the quilt. You didn’t even register nor care that you weren’t wearing a bra, fully exposing your chest to Law for the first time since you were unconscious. 

Law’s eyes immediately lock on to your naked breasts and his mouth drops open slightly. He regains his composure and looks down at your massive scar. 

“Room” Law says as he flips his left hand upwards. The entire hotel room becomes tinged in a light blue. He kneels on the bed next to you and raises his right hand over your abdomen. 

“I’m going to begin now, let me know if you’re uncomfortable.” Law breaths out as he places the first touch of his hand on your skin. Freezing cold digits trace the pattern of your brand on your stomach, but you felt no pain. You let go of the deep breathe you were holding in. It wasn’t unpleasant, it was just like a deep massage. You felt Law’s fingers press across your hips and lower stomach, where the details of the Jolly Roger were branded, and you couldn’t help but sigh. Law’s touch felt so deep in your flesh it was like he was squeezing your soul. You let out a groan involuntarily. 

“I-I need to get a better angle…” Law spreads your legs and slots himself on his knees between them. He looks down at your spread thighs and lets out a gasp. The gusset of your grey panties now had a dark, damp spot in them. You were wet. You were wet for him. 

You pull your arm over your face in embarrassment and try to close your thighs but Law’s sturdy body in between them wouldn’t let you. 

“I need to push these down to finish the-“ Law stutters out, in awe of your body beneath him. 

“Just keep going.” You spit out at him, frustrated. 

Law gingerly pulls your panties down to expose your bush and the rest of your brand, leaving the rest of your sex still hidden to him. You hear his breath catch in his chest. 

A few moments go by before Law continues his work on your scar and it tickled a bit when he pressed into the crease of your legs and pelvis. You twitch under his strong hold. 

“Just a bit more…” Law says as he traces the last bits of your scar. “Done.” Law huffs out and his hands leave your body. You instinctively whine as you’re left without his touch, feeling yourself getting further aroused. Before you could thank him for the immeasurable kindness he had done for you, you feel his cold fingers hook around your panties once again, this time pulling them down past your ankles.

“W-what are you..?” You try to sit up and ask what he was up to. 

“I’d like to try…um… I could…” Law sheepishly looks in your eyes after discarding your panties to the floor. “I want to go down on you.” 

Your eyes widen. 

“Oh! I.. I think that would be okay…” Your heart thumps loudly in your ears as you give Law permission to settle himself on his stomach between your thighs. You still try to push your knees together, but Law was keeping them spread wide. He lays there, just staring at your naked sex, so close you can feel his breath on your sensitive bits. 

“Show me…” Law whispers, his gaze never leaving your glistening folds. “Show me how to make you feel good…” 

You swallow hard. You were so nervous just to be naked in front of him, let alone guide him through pleasuring you. You reach a shaky hand down and spread your lip with a thumb and middle finger. You tap gently on your engorged, pink clit and clench in the process. 

“Here… lick me here…” You breath out. 

Law nods and dives in. 

“Oh!” You cry out in surprise as Law flicks his wet tongue up and down over your sensitive little nub. Laws groans at your flavor on his tongue and the vibrations cause you to moan loudly. You bring your hand back up to pinch at your nipple. 

“Suck on it…” You whisper. 

Law obliges and slurps your clit between his lips. 

“Ah! Too hard!” You whip your head up and look down at him, overwhelmed by the harsh stimulation. 

“Fuck sorry, do you want to stop?” Law pulls his head from between your thighs, eyes filled with concern. 

You pant. You were feeling anxious still, but you didn’t want to stop. 

“No… just be gentle honey… It’s really sensitive there…” You brush the hair out of his face and gently tug his head back to your aching pussy. 

He nods again. He softly takes your clit into his mouth and sucks slowly. 

“Yes, just like that…” You throw your head back into the pillows behind you. “Oh fuck, Law, shit…” You moan and you notice him grinding his hips into the mattress below him. Law whimpers into your pussy. 

“Here, put your fingers in me, fuck! Right here..” You reach your hand down again and spread your wet hole for him, showing him the path to your pleasure. 

Law pulls back from your clit briefly to look at where you’re showing him. 

“H-how many?” Law says breathlessly. 

“J-just one… please… it’s been so long…” You breath out. 

He obliges and slips one tattooed digit into your seeping hole. You moan and clench around him. He tentatively pulls it in and out of your slick walls, watching your face to see your reaction to his ministrations. 

“Up… pull it up.. like- OH!” Law hears your instructions and immediately taps against your G spot with his finger. 

“D-does that feel good baby?” Law stutters out, trying out a pet name in the heat of the moment for the first time. 

“Yes, shit! Yes keep going… suck my clit again, please…” You writhe under his touch and use a free hand to push his head towards your sex again. 

Wordlessly, Law dips his head and captures your swollen bud in his mouth again. Along with the feeling of his finger on your sweet spot, you find yourself careening towards the edge of a powerful orgasm. 

“Shit, I’m gonna… fuck Law! I’m gonna-!” 

“Cum on my face.” Law huffs out against your clit and your dam bursts, soaking his goatee with your slick essence. You cry out in pleasure and your legs shake around Law’s head. You shriek incoherently as your throw your head back, Law slurping up the remnants of your release on your outer lips and thighs. 

Your head was swimming still as you felt a body join you in the bed. Law wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his sweaty chest. 

“Wait but you… I can still…” You whimper tiredly as you pull back from his chest.

“No need.” Law stops you. “I’m going to clean up before bed. Get some rest. That procedure to remove your brand went deep into your muscle, it might be painful for awhile. Just relax.” 

You notice a large, wet spot in Law’s pants as he excuses himself to the bathroom. You couldn’t help but smile, endorphins still coursing through your veins. 

“Don’t take too long.” You chide as you roll over and proceed to immediately fall asleep.

— — 

xx

*A/N HI ITS SMUT TIME! Welcome to Chapter 15! It took us awhile but here we are! They haven't hit a home run yet, but it's definitely a thing now! Thank you for any comments and interactions, they make my day! Love yall!*

[gmbencompetence]

Arcana Fans,

Can we talk about the Tarot Decks? The Arcana Tarot Decks. I’m proud of them. It also ends in a painful memory. They are, all in all, the high and low of my time at Nix Hydra

In short: I’m one of the main people that made Arcana Tarot Decks a reality.

My job was answering emails, monitoring the Arcana social media tags, and generally having my finger on the pulse of the community. I knew that, by a wide margin, Tarot Decks were the biggest request. My coworker (who shall remain nameless for their privacy) was part of the team that made the Arcana and knew how much Tarot resonated with fans. This co-worker and I fought for about 1-1.5 years getting them greenlit.

In all honesty, they were a completely audacious idea. Nix Hydra didn’t make much money from merchandise. Maybe $100 a month. The cost of an *initial* run of Arcana Tarot Decks would take something like $25,000 to get going. This is because of creating the art, securing people to help package/ship them, actual costs of packaging/shipping itself, and more. Also, my partner on the project was very insistent that we work with a company that produced them at an extremely high quality with gold trim edges. Gold trim edges was important (they were right).

So, the Nix Hydra merch store made less than $200 a month, and my coworker and I were trying to pitch something that would COST $25,000~ to get started. If it made $25,000 back, that’s still a waste of time because it means we would have made the same money just skipping the whole thing.

This next part is fuzzy, but if I remember right, we tested the waters with stickers. We stocked Arcana stickers to see how quickly they sold. They sold fast. Like… fast. This was good. It was our test case to at least prove that “People want Arcana Merch”. It heated the iron, and my coworker and I struck. We got the approval!

So here’s the most nerve wracking moment of my career here. I’ve been in the game industry 12 years, but I’ve never run a merchandise store Nix Hydra. Even after that, I sent out a few sticker sheets every month. Forget about convincing a company to invest $25,000~ into my mad idea. And then… if they DID sell. What, then!? I always have a lot of anxiety, and I kept thinking of ways it could go wrong. What if I broke some international shipping law? What if I did the math wrong and operated at a loss? What if the site charged people the wrong amount? I KNEW the Tarot Decks would sell, but that was scary, too!

The day came that we flipped the switch. I was so excited. I was so excited! I was so… scared. At this point, all that was left was to see if we could make above the starting amount…

We made about $200,000 in the first 24 hours. Now, this was 3-4 years ago, so I may be SIGNIFICANTLY off. But my point is that we made six digits very quickly. By this same time tomorrow, this went from “Gunpowder and Coworker’s brassy, sassy idea” to “Merch is a hit! What’s next?”

Over the next few months and weeks, we had a joyful hectic hell of the best anxiety. Problems would come up. We’d knock them down. We’d run out of storage space in the office and it would look almost comical. We’d have truckloads of shipment issues. I soon found out that simply taking the packages to the post office was its own complicated project. All of this expanded into hiring people to help with merch. These people were extremely passionate about The Arcana and began to be advocates for what merch to add next. I could gush about how amazing they are for hours, but for privacy’s sake, I’m refraining from saying much about my coworkers.

So like that, we went from “Merch doesn’t sell” to “We need a merch department” in a few months. By the time I left the company, the CEO (you’ve seen his name around) projected the Merch alone to be a $1M a year revenue stream. I don’t know if we ever hit that goal. My point was that he felt it was possible, which made me happy.

… which brings me to how the story ends painfully. I have moderate ADHD. I personally think it’s severe, but my doctor says moderate, so hey. I tend to fall behind on assignments a lot. I also tend to get distracted super easily. It can ruffle feathers in a work environment. I did not realize how much. See, this project was in full swing, my work was going well, and I had also designed all the gameplay of Heart Hunter (that was me! I’ll write a post on that later). I felt good about all of this. I had a meeting with the CEO and was going to ask him for a raise.

“[Name], just so you know, I sometimes sit and my desk and go over the pros and cons of letting you go.” He said it conversationally. It was casual to him. My stomach fell out. I asked him why, and it turned out that he was being very, very literal.

See, he made a pros and cons list of every thing he likes about me and every thing that he doesn’t. I’ll spare you the whole list, but in the Cons side was “Doesn’t focus on work all 8 hours of the day”. I was flabbergasted and told him “But… I do a lot of projects. And YOU said the merch store is estimated at $1M a year!” At this point, it is extremely important to note that nothing about the merch store was in my job description besides “Ship stickers and answer emails”. Literally everything I mentioned above were things I did in my spare time without being asked. Out of love for the company.

“Yes, I agree that you’re very passionate and creative. See, I put that on the list!”

He points to the Pros and Cons list. “passionate and creative” is cancelled out by “doesn’t focus all 8 hours of the day”. It was a tie. The project I co-led started a whole new department and seven-digit (estimated) revenue… it wasn’t even the only one I did (Heart Hunter was also a side project, albeit one I was assigned). And all of that, in his mind, was cancelled out by “doesn’t work all 8 hours a day”.

I never got a raise. I never got a bonus. I never even got job security. None of it mattered to him.

I started looking for a job the next day.

—-

There’s more to the story, but I think this is the main point. This is the best and worst of Nix Hydra. It was a place where people like my coworker and I would make extra time to work on new things simply because we believed in our work that much. Where players joyfully supported our work because it resonated with them. Where new employees would be so passionate about their work that they would keep an entire department afloat on their own fantastic ideas. It was also a place where none of this could even amount to job security or recognition. It was frustrating, and it was joyful.

I meant every single smile at a public event. So did every member of the team that was there. It was never “just PR”; it was people who were over the moon to get to help create these stories and worlds and moments. We loved it. But management never loved us back. And that stung.

-

Thank you, every single person who posted their tarot decks. Who put them into your cosplays. Who did readings.

Thank you everyone who posted your Heart Hunter moments. Who shared the postcards I fought tooth and nail to see in the game (It was SO difficult to convince some people that “postcards would be the type of reward players want”).

My entire life, I’ve had joyful moments in games and game communities. My lifelong dream was to help make those moments come alive for others. When you all celebrated this game and those aspects of it, that was very genuinely a lifelong dream come true.

Thank you for reading this. And also The Arcana.

[brrbrina]

the moment i knew

pairing: joe burrow x reader

warnings: ANGST!

Ever since you were a kid, your birthday was the most anticipated day of the year, counting down each day, gathering your friends and close family members for your typical birthday dinner which this time around was being held in her new house, the first house she ever bought with her big girl money,

"Honey I ordered the strawberry cheesecake you like, your brother will pick it up and bring it later today" your mom stated in the phone screen in front of where while she did her makeup, sadly your parents wouldn´t be able to make it to your birthday this year, they were on a trip to Europe and you were genuinely happy for them, you don´t turn 30 years of marriage every year.

"It´s okay mom, don't worry" you said smiling "By the way thank you for the flowers, they are the prettiest flowers I've gotten in the whole day" you said and sighed "What about Joe? Did he bring you the daises you love?" your mom said excitedly

"Um" you gulped "No, I haven´t heard from him since yesterday, he has been at practice the whole day, don't worry" you said scrathing your neck "I don´t want to hold you back anymore, I love you guys have fun" you said smiling as you heard your dad mumble "Happy birthday honey, we love you, you don´t turn 25 every day!" he said as you smiled and hung up.

Finishing doing your make-up, the door ranged "Coming" you called from the 2nd floor hoping to see your boyfriend on the other side of the door "Happy birthday bubbs I love you" best friend slash sister-in-law Molly said as your brother walked in with balloons and a bouquet of flowers. "Happy birthday kiddo" your older brother Nick said as he gave you a hug.

Molly and you have been best friends since high school, and eventually, your brother and her started dating when she was a sophomore in college and Nick was a senior, they got married last year and while you were happy for them you were a little bit saddened that they got married first, you and Joe had been dating since you were a freshman and he was a junior, you had talked about marriage before and you both knew you wanted to settle down together, plus after all you kind of understood why he hadn´t popped the question, he was in his second year in the NFL and he was concentrated on getting that ring, you hated to admit it but sometimes it haunted you in the middle of the night that maybe he wouldn't give you a ring until he got his, however before the season started and you were looking for a house Joe suggested you moved in with him, and while that was a topic you had in mind before, he never brought it up anymore.

“Look babe" you sat beside him in his living room with the computer in your lap.

"I think this painting would be cute in the hall before the stair what do you think?" you said smiling "Oh, it´s cute," he told side-eyeing it, and as much as you loved hearing his opinions on different things, you were mad he didn't stop you from buying it because that meant the thought of you moving in with him had left his mind.

"I´m going to miss being your roommate," you said while packing the stuff you had in his house in the 5 weeks you lived with him, it wasn´t the wisest decision to pay another month of rent if you were going to move into your new place in a few weeks so you moved temporarily into his house, hoping he would say something about you permanently living with him "Yeah, it was fun," he said looking at his iPad as he re-watched a play on Sunday, his O-line was letting the other team sack him and even though the Bengals won 37-35 due to a 2 point conversion play he was still bitter that the Saints got so close to winning the game.

"I'm going to put this in the trunk" you said going downstairs to pack the last few things needed to move to the new place and your phone rang.

"I´ve been calling you for the last hour, where were you," Noah said on the other line "Um," you said while accommodating the box on your hip to grab her phone and put it on speaker "I´ve been loading up mom´s truck with the stuff I need to move, you wouldn´t believe how many steps I've gotten today," you said chuckling "By the way," you said as you grabbed your phone making your way outside "Are you free tonight? I would really use some help to put a few things up like the TV and accommodate my bed" "Yeah I can give you a hand" your brother said on the other line "Great! I´m on my way there I´ll send you my location so you can come by. You´re the best bye!" as you hangs up and make your way back to Joe´s entrance, to grab your purse and the last box you needed to fully leave his house and go live on your own again,

"I´m going to my place, I´ll be back later" you yelled so Joe could hear her "OK!" he yelled back, closing the door you felt her stomach drop, it would be lies saying that his indifference hadn´t been bothering you lately, more than bothering it hurt, having no idea what was going on in your boyfriend's mine was a painful engraved thought in your mind,

After arriving at the new house and sending your brother the location, you began to arrange the things that were left in boxes so that when Noah arrived they would get everything done and he could head back home quicker, it had been heavy weeks, and as much as this big step was something you had done in the past, this time felt scarier and you didn't like that feeling.

Noah arrived shortly after a few things got done and as he was helping move the heavier stuff around he asked

"Where´s Joe? I assumed he would be here when I arrived and he wasn't so I thought he would get here later but clearly, he isn´t here" your brother said sitting at her new dining table as they both ate pizza that was ordered 30 minutes ago,

"Well you know, he´s busy," you said after taking a bite of your slice "Has he helped you at all?" he said in a tone you didn´t like, it was a tone of a mad slash worried big brother, you heard it for the first time when you were 15 and stood up on a date, you felt embarrassed for having to call your brother but after all, you always had a great relationship, he was her best friend and she was his, surely there were things you didn't tell each other but there was no use in trying to hide your sadness from him,

"No, I have no idea what has gotten to him, he has been so distant since before I moved to his house temporarily, he has been so concentrated on football and I get that, there are times I feel like maybe I´m just, I don´t know" tears started to form in your eyes stuttering "Maybe Im a distraction and it´s fine, I´m happy with him besides my birthday is coming up and I´m sensing he planned something for my special day," you said while feeling Noah hug her.

And your birthday, in fact, came around, it was around 8 pm when friends from college started to roll around, even Sam and Jamarr were stopping by, you invited the closest friend of Joe from the team, and as much as she loved the other ones you were really happy only both of them came to your birthday they were also your friends and you enjoyed being in their presence.

"I have no idea why he isn´t here, he left early from practice and we assumed it was because of her birthday" You overheard Sam talking to your brother before you entered the rest room, "Look, I´ll call him and see what´s up, maybe he is stuck in traffic," Jamarr said and Noah replied "Yes but make it quick because we need to sing happy birthday to her" and after what felt forever Molly made her way to her best friend with a cake on her hands and pink candles waiting to be blown, to your left it was Sydney, your best friend since the womb, your moms had been forever best friends and got pregnant at the same time without planning and she knew you like the back of her hand, "Make a wish G!" Sydney said looking at Gracie with her big green orbits, " I wish you were here to celebrate my birthday with me," you thought, blowing the candles, thinking of Joe.

You felt like the prettiest woman that had ever walked on earth, but what´s the point of feeling pretty if the person you thought while looking for this dress wasn´t there to twirl you around and tell you how pretty you looked, it was the most worrying thought but we have all felt that way sometimes. What do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one that didn´t show?

Tears streamed down your face, it was now 11:59 and you hadn´t heard from Joe in the whole day. When you started dating you told him this was the day you were most excited about "I will always be there to celebrate with you, I will make every day your birthday if I need to" he said before giving your face kisses.

Remembering that know, hurt, it hurt in ways you never knew could hurt, you were scared this day would come, it was this irrational fear of abandonment you felt since you were a kid, you told Joe the thing that haunted you in the middle of the night and this was one of them.

But as the hours ticked by and everyone went home, Joe still hadn't shown up. Your hurting became worrying. You tried calling him, but he didn't answer. You sent him text after text, but he didn't respond. As the night wore on, you started to feel more and more anxious. Was he okay? Had something happened to him? There was no way he would forget her girlfriend's birthday right? He was in love with her and he would never hurt her, right?

You cried her way to sleep and woke up to a few texts

Amore: Happy birthday!!

Amore: I´m sorry I didn´t make it last night I came home and fell asleep and woke up about 10 minutes ago. I´m leaving for an away home at 3pm, I promise you we will celebrate when I come back. Love you!

You didn´t reply, your brain was empty and having a headache due to the tears, it was the worst birthday ever. As the morning went by and you scrolled on TikTok you came across a video that broke your heart. It was Joe sitting in your favorite restaurant, sitting in a booth across from a woman you had never seen before, it looked like they were having a great time and you hadn't seen Joe smile like that in forever. Was this it? Should you confront him?

He should´ve been there, with the "Baby, I'm here smile" with the biggest bouquet of flowers and telling you how pretty you were the whole night, looking at you with loving eyes but he wasn´t there, he was with someone else and that made your heart sank, how could you be so sure he would be the father of your kids and the one you would grow old with if he didn't felt the same?

Y/N: I'm sorry too you didn´t make it, have a safe flight.

[nrhshm]

Okay another TOTALLY RANDOM 3am headcannon:

Luffy, Zoro, Law, and Ace reacting to s/o coming back to life by a revive-revive fruit (Not Brook's devil fruit, I just made that up btw)

Alright, I'll shoot away ^^^

S/o is taken Female

SFW

Spoiler warning

♡\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ● \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\♡

Luffy:

°° Confused at first. You have a twin sister? And never told him about it?? So, prepare to do some good elementary explanation.

°° Once the situation ACTUALLY registers in his brain, he loses composure. He launches himself at you, wailing and crying in happiness.

°° Was this a dream? A miracle?? Or is he gonna wake up the next morning pillow drenched in tears whislt clutching your old photos again?

Who cares!! Luffy just wants to enjoy the moment! Right now you're alive and well, and that's all that matters to him.

°° Luffy would shout to the whole world about it, the crew being on the ship hearing the whole thing. They'd rush to you and group-smash you into a hug. They all missed you so much, their lost crewmember just came back to life!

°° He'll also tell Sanji to hold an enormous feast tonight, to celebrate your return.

°° When Luffy finds you alone, he'll gently wrap his arms around you, careful not to use his devilfruit. He hugs you so cautiously like you're gonna disappear again, he just wants to savor the moment whether it's a dream or not. You'll soon feel his shoulders trembling and a whimper escaping him.

°° "I-I'm so happy. You're back, you're really b-back..!" He whispers, yet enough for you to hear the depths of his relief. You feel trail of tears soaking your shoulder wet.

"It hurts without you, y/n."

°° You rub his back soothingly, apologising for your prolonged absence.

°° "I promise! I won't let this happen again. I will protect you." His voice suddenly rising in sheer confidence.

°° He releases you, rubbing his eyes and taking in deep breaths, his rising determination reflected on his face.

"I will NOT let this happen again."

Zoro:

°° Swords clashing, Zoro being in the middle of a fierce battle was almost shot by a marine. Yet the bullet never hit him, instead feeling an oddly warm presence.

°° As a swordsman, Zoro has refined senses. In which he unmistakably, INSTANTLY recognised yours.

°° "You're slacking off Zoro." You sarcastically mention, trying to boost your epic enterance as your moss-head of a lover stood there, utterly dumbfounded.

°° His gears kick back in and deflect an enemy's sword away from striking your head. He almost forgot he is physically still in a battlefield, he'll figure things out later, but right now you have bigger problems to deal with.

°° Once that's taken care of, Zoro would rush towards you, wasting no time to smash his lips onto yours, arms trailing up and down on your body. His body movements were telling you a story, a story of how mad you drove him, of how darker the world became for your absence.

°° Of how much he's missed you.

°° His actions were wordless, he didn't say a thing but kept kissing you every chance he got. His lover is back, and much similar to Luffy, he wants to cherish the moment as much as possible.

°° Returning to the ship, the swordsman's whole attention is on you. He'll become WAYY more protective and observant, stepping in at the slightest disturbances.

°° Skipping to nighttime, he'll refuse to sleep unless you're there huddled in his arms. He needs to keep you close and safe even if he knows he'll be able to reach you almost instantly on the ship, but it just feels... better that way.

°° Inhaling the sweet scent of your hair, enough to chase all of his worries away as a wide sincere smile creeps onto his face, taking in your peaceful sleeping form.

°° "Hey..." he mumbles. He finally breaks in tears, a silent cry of relief whislt stroking your soft hair and replenishing those old childish feelings again.

.

.

.

"Don't you ever leave me again."

Law:

°° With the slave auction beginning, candidates are shoved outside one after the other. You sat behind the prison bars, the large neck cuff almost suffocating you, pondering on how you even got youself to this situation.

°° Law was seemingly seated in a relaxed manner, a lazy smirk tracing his lips, watching the whole event in bare interest. That is until the final slave was thown harshly on slave: You.

°° The surgeon's breath hitched, eyes widening like never in his life. Questions of how when and why throbbed his mind. Then, contemplations and guesses occupied his thoughts. Is this the work of a devil fruit? An illusion to catch him off guard?

°° During the Strawhat commotion, Law rushed towards you. Noticing how the auctioneer dragged you harshly offstage.

°° Relief and worry were suddenly replaced by pure rage, and Law wasted no time in pulvarising the despicable man to pieces. The surgeon suddenly grabs you by the shoulders and franatically scans your body from head to toe, checking for any deep injuries or fatal wounds, before he hoists you on his shoulder, and rushes outside alongside Bepo.

°° When Law gets you somewhere far and safe, he instantly engulfs you in heartwarming embrace, mumbling absolute nonesence. His lips quivering and his voice cracking up, Law lost all control of his emotions.

°° "Where have you been all this time?! Why didn't you come back as soon as possible?? Do you even know how miserable I wa--?!!!" You shush his scolding session with a rough fiery kiss, that being your answer to all of his tangled questions. He returns the gesture with much more passion, his heart racing yet his mind pacified and relaxed. The black surgeon tightens his hands around your body, pulling you closer to his own, still shaken by the whole experience. He doesn't want to lose you, not now, not ever.

°° After this heartwarming reunion, Law will NOT LEAVE YOUR SIDE AT ALL COSTS. You will sleep with him, eat with him, work with him, even restricting hangouts unless he's tagging along. Heck! He'd even stand outside of your bathroom door while you're doing your stuff there.

° As much as he annoyed you , you coudn't help but smile in glee. Trafalgar. D . Water Law was being huge darn softie, and you were enjoying the hell outta it. You would occasionally tease him about his unusual actions where he would just reply "shut up" or "Because I'm a doctor" or stuff like that.

His tsundere hormones would be skyrocketing during night hours. He'd lay next to you till you drift to the world of dreams. Then he'd find himself stroking you hair and cuddling you soothingly, mumbling apologies and regrets he did, finishing with lots of "Thank you for coming back to me." one sided conversations.

°° You mean the entire UNIVERSE to Law. And having you back in his arms is a miracle to him. It would still take him sometime to get used to your presence again. But don't push him too much.

.

.

"I love you. Don't ever forget that."

Ace:

°° This boy never got over you. Your death deepened his self-loathing wounds, he never stopped blaming himself. If only he had reached you in time, if only he was stronger... if only... he's the one to take the hit for you...

°° You were standing next to Luffy, eyes full of anger and determination. You couldn't care less about your sudden emergence, there's a much MUCH bigger priority right now... Ace.

°° When his raven eyes landed on a certain h/c-ette, the whole world around him came to a halt. You were there, standing right infront of him.

Lemme say it again, YOU. WERE. THERE.

°° All that Ace could do was watch in fear and worry, constantly screaming your name to the point where his vocals chords were tearing off. He's happy, beyond relieved at your arrival. And he wasn't gonna watch you die a second time.

°° Soon enough, Ace is rescued and returned to the Mobydick. You were currently being treated by Marco when you suddenly hear a loud commotion outside.

"Where is she?! Let me see her!!"

°° The door bursts open, and within a flash of a second you are roughly engulfed in someone's arms.

°° Ace shivers in his embrace, you just have no idea how much has he dreamed of this.

"Y-you're... alive. You're actually...a-alive!!" Soft hiccups cutting through every word, and with everysecond his arms tighten more around your body.

"I-I've never stopped thinking about you, about us!! I've never moved on! I've always believed that you're alive!! I've always knew you never actually left me-!!" You cut him off with an overwhelming kiss to the lips, the message finally recieved.

°° He's missed you so badly, and you missed him just as much. Both were craving for eachother hard, both wanted to replenish and enjoy this beautiful moment of a happy ending, both were so engrossed in their reunion that they failed to notice Marco leaving the room with a sincere smile on his face.

°° "Y/n." You hum at his words, as he places his forehead onto yours.

.

"I want to live, Y/n."

[highqueenofelfhame]

rowaelin // 5.8k words // masterlist // ciwyw masterlist let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing :) i hope you enjoy <3 i can't wait to see all your comments. y'all are kILLING me with them on this one.

As much as he knew he shouldn’t be, Rowan was drunk. Again. 

Tomorrow they had a match against Adarlan on Doranelle’s home field. While Rowan laid on his back,  staring at the ceiling fan above him with a full half-empty bottle of whiskey resting on his stomach, he knew they were going to lose. Not because Adarlan was better or because they wanted it more, but because Rowan was a selfish piece of shit and couldn’t put the bottle down. There was no way he would be in any condition to play tomorrow— at least not well. 

Burying his sorrows at the bottom of the bottle seemed like the better alternative until he could figure out how to repair what he had catastrophically obliterated. It had been a full week with no word from Aelin. Not a single one of those days had passed without him sending an apology text into the void. There had even been a few voicemails Wednesday night that went unanswered. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was erasing them without bothering to listen. He deserved that much. 

Rowan Whitethorn had never had social media. Ever. Not even in high school when it was just becoming a cool thing to do. Nobody needed to know that much about his life. At this point in his career, his agent and PR team begged him to do it because it would garner him more popularity. Even Lorcan posted on instagram from time to time and kept everyone happy. 

The thing that finally drove Rowan to making an instagram account was stalking Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. It was easier for his thumbs to scroll through her feed while nursing sips of whiskey, trying not to double tap on any pictures. He was pathetic enough— Aelin didn’t need to be aware of his sulking and pining. 

This all came after he googled her name paired with various words like ‘spouse,’ ‘husband,’ ‘wife,’ and ‘wedding.’ Nothing came back with a result, but it had been lurking in his mind when she didn’t answer his question earlier. Besides, Rhoe Galathynius very well could have been her father-in-law. As it were, she wasn’t married, and Evalin and Rhoe only had one child: their daughter. At least if she was married, there was no record of it. No photos of her in an elegant white gown standing next to the love of her life. 

Good. He could deal with that. 

What he couldn’t deal with was the photos of her in bikinis, arms wrapped around the waists of other men. She was nestled between the pair on the deck of a yacht all three of them with wide smiles and sunglasses covering their eyes. Her bathing suit looked more like lingerie and Rowan had never wished so hard for summer to come back around than he was right then. 

There were pictures of her with a stunning brunette woman, both of them dressed in finery or night-out attire depending on where they were headed. Aelin with a full face of makeup, with sultry dark eyes and a full pouty lip was enough to drive him into madness. 

He found photographs from holidays with her family, Aelin perched on a couch in comfy clothes and thick socks with Aedion Ashryver standing behind her. Further down her page he found the ones from years ago of her on Aedion’s shoulders after he won some match or another. It was captions Always my hero. 

Lower and lower he went until he finally hit her first post: a simple kingsflame flower from nine years ago with the caption Fireheart. He supposed that was where she garnered the name for her foundation. Gods above, she was incredible. A super-hero amongst ordinary women. 

Rowan scrolled back towards the top of her instagram, all the way back to the most recent one. It was from their day downtown, when they had bought a piece of chocolate hazelnut cake and sat outside the bakery. Aelin was laughing around her thumb that she held between her teeth. At that moment, he had been teasing her about getting the frosting everywhere. Behind the camera he was smiling just as brilliantly as she was. The light in her eyes, her smile, the utter joy that radiated off of her… It was enough to make him breathless all over again. 

“Fuck,” he murmured to himself, heart squeezing and soul dying at how absurdly beautiful she was. It didn’t seem fair. Everything about her was perfect. Not just outside, but inside, too.  Aelin Galathynius was the most selfless and loving person he had ever met. Inside and out, she shone with the light of a thousand suns. It made it impossible to look away and broke his heart that he had driven her away so sharply.

“M’such a bloody dobber,” he mumbled, zooming in on her face as close as it would get, until she was little more than a monochromatic cluster of pixels, none of her features distinguishable. 

The phone fumbled where he held it over his face, falling directly onto it. Rowan swore, the taste of metal blooming over his tongue where his tooth had cut through his lip. Worse than that, though, was when he noticed the giant heart that appeared in the center of the picture he’d been staring at. 

Rowan had accidentally liked it. Just as quickly, he unliked it and tossed his phone to the other end of the couch. Jail. He needed to be in phone jail. 

It had over ten thousand likes and three hundred comments. There was a chance she would never notice the notification appearing and disappearing. She might never notice. It didn’t stop the ice creeping into his veins, though. The idea that she would realize how utterly pathetic he was, as if all the texts weren’t indication enough. 

Rowan swore violently under his breath and grabbed his phone again. With bleary, bloodshot eyes he opened their text thread to send off another message. Just as his fingers started their drunken dance over the letters once again, his phone began to ring loudly. The vibration shook him to his core as he beheld the name flashing on his screen, a photo of the two of them laying on her couch flashing in front of him. The sight of it knocked the wind out of him. 

Aelin. 

Fuck. Shit. Mala fucking fry him. 

“Hello?” he said, breathless like he’d been running a marathon. 

“Hi.” Aelin’s voice was quiet. Rowan could imagine her sitting in the middle of her couch, a tv show paused. 

“I am so sorry, baby,” he began, letters and syllables stringing together with no space between. “I need to explain, to—”

“Did you just like that picture on my instagram?”

“I…” it was long and drawn out as he squinted at the ceiling, trying to find a way out of it. There wasn’t one. Heat crept up his neck and bloomed over his cheeks like rose petals. “Ye-yeah. That was me.”

“Are you drunk?” was her follow up question. On the other end of the phone it sounded like she was rolling over in bed. Gods, he would love to be wrapped up in bed with her. The expanse of her golden skin under his hands wasn’t beat out by anything, not even football. 

“No,” was his quick response. 

“You sound drunk.” It was impossible to tell what, exactly, her emotions were. Rowan swallowed thickly, setting the bottle on the coffee table and nudging it out of reach. 

“I sound like a pathetic bastard that ruined something perfect.” 

“You’re definitely drunk.” If Rowan wasn’t positive that she hated him, he might mistake her tone as amusement. 

“I miss you. And I’m sorry,” he paused to hiccup, “And I want you to tell me what to do to fix what I’ve broken.” A heavy, resigned sigh came through the phone and Rowan froze.

“Start with sobering up–” Fuck. She was going to hang up, and he had blown his only chance at making things right. Shit.

“Don’t hang up,” Rowan pleaded, lip tucking between his bottom teeth while he waited for her to respond. 

“Get some sleep and win your game tomorrow. After that… maybe we can talk.” If that was what it took, then yes. A thousand times yes he would do both of those things. Anything to get her to talk to him, anything so he could hold her, feel her lips on his skin, taste her and feel her beneath him.

“Do you promise?” A schoolyard thing to say, but he couldn’t help it. The gift of hearing her voice again after an entire week of deafening silence was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine hearing. If he could, he’d bottle it up and get drunk off it. It was better than any alcohol, any drug. 

“I promise,” she replied, and Rowan swore he heard a hint of laughter weaving between each letter of those two, simple words. That couldn’t be right, though. Aelin was mad at him. They wouldn’t be laughing together anytime soon.

“Okay.” It felt stupid to say, but it was the only word he could find. 

“Okay.” Aelin’s voice was still soft and told him nothing of the status of his forgiveness, or if he needed to beg on his knees and worship her as penance. He would never, ever stop if that was what she required. “Goodnight, Rowan.” 

The line went dead before he could say anything else and a new zap of determination electrified his blood. If she wanted a win, she would get it. But he had to get sober first. 

With a pained groan, he pulled himself upright. A few deep breaths later the room wasn’t spinning quite so quickly and he was able to stumble to the kitchen. The smell of coffee made his nose wrinkle when he opened the bag. It quickly filled the space of the kitchen as he dumped the beans into the grinder, wincing at the shriek it made. Coffee and bread would help sober him up, and then he would focus on fluid intake to not be a useless sack of meat on the field tomorrow. 

He leaned against his counter, ignoring incoming messages from his teammates checking on him, and shoved half a piece of bread into his mouth. A cold shower would wake him up, and tons of water and painkillers before bed would help the hangover tomorrow. 

Anything Aelin wanted, he would give her. Starting tomorrow night by defeating the Adarlan Wyverns and handing it to her on a silver platter. 

When he finally drifted off to sleep, his phone screen was still illuminated in his palm: that final photo he’d taken of her at the bakery wearing a smile just for him. 

~*~

As soon as she took one step into the Neon Moon, she found Connall looking over at her with a healthy dose of surprise in his eyes. Aelin moved through the crowd that had gathered to watch the game, managing to snag a single barstool in front of the beer tap. 

“Water, please,” she half-shouted over the loud voices filling the room. As soon as it was in her hands she took a long drink before placing it down on a napkin in front of her. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” A crooked grin spread across his face and he leaned forward on his forearms. “Watching the game?” 

“Against my better judgment,” she sighed, ruffling her fingers through her hair. Now that she knew that he played for Doranelle, she just couldn’t miss it. Had she known from the get-go, there wouldn’t have been a single game that she missed. Even if it meant she’d be catching up on work during the short commercial breaks. “How much do you know?”

“Oh just… everything.” 

Aelin groaned and looked up at the ceiling. She wasn’t upset that he’d told his friends, his support system. Rowan needed that, just like she did. Though she had yet to tell her family, she was going to do it soon. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Some of the dust had to settle with Rowan first. 

Though she was content to let him stew for a few more days, the single like she’d gotten from an account called actuallywhitethorn made her pick up the phone. A result of her doom-scrolling before bed, the notification had dropped from the top of her screen. By the time she clicked her notification icon, that particular like from that specific account was gone. It was like fate, she decided, for her to have seen it in its brevity. If he was miserable and pining enough to accidentally like an instagram picture, it wouldn’t hurt to call him. So she did.

At first, she didn’t know what to say, but as he talked it became more and more clear that he was very drunk. All his words had melded into one long syllable, and the fact that he was likely drinking away his feelings and problems had tugged at her heart. He really was adorable when he was drunk, calling her baby and trying his hardest to apologize, begging her not to hang up the phone. As much as she really did want to talk to him, it wasn’t a conversation to have while he was only half-aware. The apology she deserved needed to come from his sober lips, not drunk, loose ones.

After they hung up, Aelin had decided she would go to the bar to watch the game. It didn’t seem like a feat she could conquer at home alone on her couch. Even with Lysandra a phone call away, it felt too big to do on her own. The bar made sense.

“Congratulations?” Connall offered, and it was the first time she’d really picked up on any shyness or hesitancy from the man. 

“Thank you.” It was still so new, so foreign. The racing of her thoughts hadn’t died down about it yet, her emotions didn’t have a full grasp on the situation. “How is he?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Kind of. If his texts were any inclination to his mental state, he was having a rough go of things at the moment. “Feels like a piece of shite.”

“Yeah, well.” That was a little deserved after what he’d said to her. Connall didn’t seem to disagree, merely shrugging as he followed her eyes to the television.

The game had been on for fifteen minutes, and Doranelle had scored one point. Adarlan had nothing. It was a bit of a feat to score so early on in the game, showing just how skilled Rowan and his teammates were. A camera zoomed in on the players, a towering, dark-haired man with a glove tucked under his arm, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face. Aelin’s eyes widened and her head whipped toward Connall when the spitting image of him appeared on the screen. The only difference was the color of the curls: Connall’s were black, his brother’s golden. 

“You have a twin?” By way of answer, Connall merely winked and nodded back at the TV where Rowan had come into view. His uniform for home games was navy blue with white letters. Hands braced on his hips, he joined his teammates where they talked. It was only when he turned around that she saw how horrible he looked. 

Though his skin was golden brown as ever, his face was ashen. Dark circles clung beneath his eyes and his bottom lip was swollen and scabbed over. The sweat gathering at his temples didn’t do anything at all to make him look well, if anything he just looked sicker. 

“Whitethorn looks a bit… peaky,” Connall said cautiously, the corners of his lips tugging downward into a scowl.

“As drunk as he was when I called him last night, that makes perfect sense.” She was frowning, too. The most put together part of him was his hair, the single french braid down the center until it all met in a mess of a bun on the top of his head. 

As soon as the whistle blew, he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. That was when the cameras zoomed back out to take in the entire field, all the players getting into position. Aelin watched closely, one eye on the ball and the other always aware of where Rowan was in the frame.

For a while, it was a lot of passing back and forth, working up and down the field, the ball getting stolen one way or the other. Once, Adarlan got close to scoring but the goalie for Doranelle was quick to block it and pass it back down the field. Another of Rowan’s teammates was quick to get it back toward the Adarlan goal. It was passed back and forth between a few as they worked further and further down the pitch until a pass from Connall’s twin had the ball being juggled between Rowan’s feet.

Watching Rowan play brought back the old feelings she felt watching Aedion. Her competitive temper rose in her chest as he sprinted downfield with the ball between his feet. Somehow, he never tripped or stumbled. When he passed it off to a dark-haired man, Vaughan, Connall told her, it was with tricky footwork that he made look easy. Seconds later and a single pass back toward him, Rowan lunged from behind a crimson jersey. By some grace of the gods he managed to land the perfect kick that arched beautifully through the air. Adarlan’s goalie missed it by a fingertip.

The bar became deafening– some of them rooting for Doranelle, others wanting them to lose for the sake of Varese’s team. On the TV, Rowan’s teammates pulled him off the ground and jostled him amongst them, Connall’s golden-haired brother smacking a kiss to Rowan’s sweaty forehead. 

If Aelin didn’t know any better, she would say his teammates were being a little more gentle with him than they might be otherwise. Rowan’s jaw remained clenched tightly, that muscle feathering as he nodded to the only person on the team that was taller than him where he stood down the field.

“Who is their goalie?”

“Lorcan Salvaterre. Team captain and one of Rowan’s closest friends. My twin’s name is Fenrys.” Aelin nodded and rested her chin on her hands as the next play started, polished blue nails digging into her palms. She knew of most of these names from Aedion’s soccer days and the afternoons at her parents house where her father prattled on about different team rosters.

The minutes ticked by, Rowan fiercely focused on the game. That look of sheer determination never left his eyes, even in the brief moments of reprieve he had to gather his wits. Whenever he could, Connall hovered near her for the moral support she’d come in search of. It meant more to her than she could ever put into words. Being in a new city, far away from her support system, with no one else to lean on? It was really nice to know he was there. Even if they barely knew each other. 

When Adarlan scored, Aelin had over half the pub groaned. The Doranelle players looked beyond pissed. Rowan and Lorcan shared matching expressions, both of their jaws grinding as they shook their heads before getting back into position. 

It led them into more volleying back and forth, the ball little more than a blur between feet. And then it was back in Rowan’s possession. It was like the wind sang for him, pushing him faster as he bolted down the field. Almost as soon as he made his goal, the one that would get them a point ahead though, a whistle blew and a yellow-checkered flag was waving. 

“Shit,” she murmured, closely eyeing the playback. It was a fair call, he had been offside. When the camera showed Rowan again though, he was pointed at the goal, mouth wrapping around words that looked a lot like fucking bullshit. The words weren’t more than a whisper as she said, “Rowan, you stupid idiot.”

Connall chuckled, despite the dire situation at hand. She knew he was only laughing at her, not his friend’s situation. Still, she wadded up a napkin and threw it at his head. It nailed him in the temple.

“It’s not funny,” she hissed, nibbling on the end of her straw, a sick feeling roiling in her gut.

The referee pulled a yellow card brandishing it in front of his face. A spark of anger flickered behind his eyes, mouth opening to spew something else when Fenrys grabbed him by the shoulders and made him turn away. Aelin exhaled a tight breath as Rowan shook his head on screen. Fenrys said something in Rowan’s ear and he nodded, lips thin in a stiff line.. It was enough to make him nod and hustle to his spot on the field, shaking his arms out when he came to a stop.  

Beneath the bar, Aelin’s legs were bouncing. Butterflies flitted their way through her insides enough that she braced her hands against her stomach as though it would calm them. It was impossible to look away as Adarlan took their free kick from the offside, launching the ball halfway down the field and into another frustrating back and forth between the two teams. 

This was always the part of the sport that Aelin hated. No, perhaps hated was too strong of a word. The build up always made her feel nauseous, waiting for one team to make one quick move to kick everyone into high gear to avoid a goal or make one. Being pregnant, it was worse. It felt as though her stomach was in the back of her throat.

Just before the end of the second half, disaster struck. Aelin saw it coming. She was pretty sure everyone watching at home or in the stands did, too. Connall swore filthily as Rowan ran for the ball and dove feet first to knock it away from Adarlan. Except in the process, his cleats clashed into the other player’s feet and they both went down in a heap on the field. 

“What the fuck did you say to him?” Connall asked over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off the screen as a ref jogged across the pitch. 

“I told him to win and maybe we would talk! I didn’t tell him to–” A yellow card appeared in the ref’s hand, followed by a red one and Aelin lost all of her words. Both were for Rowan. 

“I think he took that a little too do or die.” And so it seemed he had.

Distantly, she heard the announcer saying it was the first time he’d ever been red carded in his entire career. The patron’s of the bar murmured amongst themselves, many of them asking what the hell was wrong with Whitethorn tonight. 

The cameras zoomed in to where he walked off the field, sweat trickling down his face. Their coach followed him to the end of the field, the words he muttered only for Rowan to hear. Though he looked ready to hit anyone that was close enough, Rowan simply nodded. Fenrys caught his arm just before he walked off, mouth moving too quickly for Aelin to decipher. 

The last clear shot of him was walking into the tunnel and off the pitch, body rigid and muscles rippling while he pulled his jersey off his body. 

“I… I need to go,” Aelin said to Connall, who only nodded in response. She threw a few bills on the counter as a thank you and pushed her way out of the pub, walking as fast as her feet would carry her to her rental car down the street. 

~*~

Even though his team had another win under their belt by the time the game was over, it had been a fucking disaster. Rowan watched the second half on his phone from the comfort of his car after getting kicked out. 

It was the first time in his eleven year career he’d ever received two yellow cards, and consequently a red card, and been ejected from a game. All that anger and frustration from the week, from his hangover, had boiled to a head and exploded on the field. Next week he would have to sit out, too. 

Failing his teammates didn’t sit right with him. Lorcan was probably fuming and Rowan anticipated a less than friendly visit from him tomorrow. Coach Malakai was mad, too. The last thing he told Rowan was to get his shit together before practice on Monday. Only Fenrys, who never missed a chance to be a jokester about anything, had murmured words of encouragement before he left the field. 

By the time he pulled into his driveway, he was exhausted. His entire body ached from that last dive. There would definitely be bruises on his hips and thighs tomorrow from the way Ress Taylor landed on top of him. All he wanted to do was let his muscles thaw under a shower so hot it burned. A glass of whiskey would be great, too. Not that he deserved it after his performance on the pitch.

The game was… rough.The entire day was rough. From the time he’d woken up his mood had been in the pits of hell. Drunk Rowan hadn’t been able to piece together what Aelin said just before they hung up, but sober Rowan did as soon as his alarm sounded. 

Win your game tomorrow. 

Not win the game, like she used to say when she thought he was the coach. She didn’t ask him to wish the boys good luck like she had in the weeks prior. The words had changed. Win your game. The game he would be playing in, that belonged to him. She had given him a personal goal and though he helped his team achieve it, he still felt like he failed. Especially since he would have to sit out next week, too, because of the red card.

It had been stupid of him to think she wouldn’t find out the truth before he had the chance to tell her. Everything had just gone to such absolute shit before he had the chance. Rowan Whitethorn would be groveling at the feet of Aelin Galathynius for the duration of his life, and then some more after he crossed into whatever afterworld awaited him. 

The news of his career was just another lie he had to make right. All day it sat with him, festering like an open wound. It wasn’t that he suddenly felt bitter about his job. He didn’t. Rowan loved what he did, he loved the sport. It was his greatest passion and love in life. But Aelin deserved to hear about it from him. Not knowing how she found out only made it worse, until everything he felt was bleeding out into the astroturf beneath his feet and getting him thrown out of a game.

Upon pulling into his driveway, something white in front of his house caught his eye. His heart came to a stop as soon as his car did. Rowan didn’t even bother to pull into his garage, just parked beside the white SUV and stared at his porch. It felt like a fever dream, getting home from a hard game and seeing Aelin on his porch swing. The wind slowly moved her back and forth, but when she saw him step out of the car she stood, hands sliding into her back pockets. 

“I told you to win, not get a red card before the second half was up.” The lilting tone of her voice made his knees buckle. It forced him to gather himself before approaching, slowly walking up the stairs until he stood one below her.

“My mouth keeps getting me in trouble this week, it seems,” he said back, mouth completely dry. It was an effort to make his tongue form the words with his lips. “But it got you to my house, so I suppose there are worse things that could have happened.”

“Few things are worse than a red card.”

“Not talking to you might beat out all of them,” he said smoothly, fingers sliding along each of his keys until he found the one for his front door. He held it up between two fingers and Aelin nodded, stepping to the side and gesturing toward the door. 

She wore simple leggings and an oversized t-shirt, a pair of socks and slides on her feet. Though she wore no makeup and her hair was twisted half-hazardly onto the top of her head, she had never looked so beautiful. Lorcan would laugh himself hoarse if he heard the thoughts Rowan had about this woman, yet he didn’t care. Even in her most dressed down and casual state, she was breathtaking. 

He led her inside, locking the door behind them. It was late enough he assumed she would be staying for a while. Few people made a nearly two hour drive to turn around and leave upon arrival. Then again, he hadn’t seen last weekend going that way, either, and it’s exactly how that night ended.

“You played…”

“Shittily,” he offered, hanging his keys on a small hook by the front door.

“Brutally,” Aelin amended, slipping off her shoes and heading to the kitchen. Rowan watched as she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and handed one off to him before heading for the couch. “Have you eaten?” 

“No. Have you?”

“Not since lunch.” Phone in hand, she curled up in the corner and pulled a blanket over her lap. “I doubt we have any notable options, but Taco Bell is open and is shockingly one of the few things not making me sick at the moment.”

Rowan watched her from where he stood in the center of the room. It didn’t feel real. None of today did, really. It could be the hangover talking, but the day felt like a horrible dream. He was scared to move, scared that if he sat on the couch with her that she would vanish into nothing and he would wake up alone in his bed. 

“Are you going to just stand there all night?” Her eyes didn’t leave her phone while presumably selecting everything she wanted to eat, eyes narrowing at the screen briefly in thought. A moment later she held it out for him. Rowan stared at her, heart thundering away in his chest. “Rowan.”

“Right. Thank you,” he murmured, taking the phone and trying not to acknowledge the rush he felt when his fingertips grazed her palm. Not big on fast food most of the time, it took him a little longer to pick his dinner. “What do I owe you?”

Aelin just snorted as she submitted the order, eyes rolling slightly before placing her phone face down on the couch next to her, head tilting as she said, “Come to think of it, maybe you do. I think your twenty dollar fast food order might do me in completely. I’ll have to take out a loan.” 

“I can Venmo it,” Rowan said dumbly, reaching for the phone in his back pocket.

“I don’t need your money any more than you need mine.” Once there might have been a teasing edge to her voice. Her delivery was much drier than he was used to from her. But there it was. That stupid thing he’d said before he could stop himself, the words that brought everything they were building crashing down.

“Sit,” she told him, patting the cushion next to her. Rowan was careful to leave plenty of space between them. There were definitely lines and boundaries now. The risk of getting ensnared in one was too great and he had a lot of apologies to make. With his arms elbows braced on his knees and hands clasped loosely between them, he stared at the floor. 

“You’re actually getting a pretty sweet deal.” Aelin sighed, shifting so she was facing him full on. His green eyes didn’t leave the rug. “According to google my net worth is two-and-a-half times what yours is. Isn’t that crazy?”

“I didn’t know,” he finally said. As much as he wanted to look at her, he couldn’t. He was a fucking coward. Guilt was a disgusting, oily thing crawling beneath his skin. It threatened to consume him whole even worse now that he was talking to her than it had the rest of the week. 

Aelin sighed again, finally pulling his attention to her face. She laid her head back against the sofa and a few tendrils of hair fell down to frame her face.  Rowan’s fingers curled into fists to fight the urge to sweep them behind her ear. She must have sensed it because she did it herself. The blue of her fingernails was the same blue as his jersey. Part of him wondered if it had been on purpose. 

“I think tonight we can call a truce.” Aelin seemed to notice his gaze on her fingers because she folded her arms over her chest, curling her hands so her blue nails were hidden. “We’ll eat, sleep, and then tomorrow… Tomorrow we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” he agreed. The word was falling off his tongue as soon as she finished speaking. Her cheeks seemed to twitch with amusement, and if he had reacted differently last week she would probably be smiling. 

“I am curious, though. Did you make an instagram for the sole purpose of stalking me?” 

Rowan cringed. His eyes squeezed shut, lips rolling between his teeth as he looked away. Beside him it sounded like Aelin laughing, though it was little more than puffs of air coming out of her nose. It would have been easy to go on the defensive, to add one more lie to their crumpled house of cards. Instead, he went with the truth.

“I missed you. I just wanted to see your face.” He looked back over at her then, but it was she who looked away now. Her eyes were glassy, the dim lighting making the unshed tears in her eyes sparkle. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s these fucking hormones.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand when he started to reach for her. It stung more than he would ever let on, but he retreated and dropped his hand into his lap while she used the collar of her shirt to dry her eyes. 

It was silent after that, the two of them alternating from staring at nothing to sneaking glances at the other. Rowan only knew because he caught her staring at him more than once when he thought he could take a second to drink her in. It was only when the doorbell finally rang and he stood that she said his name, stopping him when he was halfway to the front door. Turning to look at her, eyebrows raised in question, he watched her lick her lips. 

“I missed you, too.” It was barely a whisper, spoken so softly he might have dreamed it if he was any more tired. 

Still, it was enough to get him through the rest of their silent night. Enough that it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would when he insisted she sleep in his bed without him. Enough to chase him with sweet dreams when he finally slipped into the guest room down the hall and tumbled into a deep sleep. 

@elentiyawhitethorn @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacall @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294  @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @the-regal-warrior @backtobl4ck @shyvioletcat @mariamuses

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith

Chapter 8: Forgiveness

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets," Matthew 7:12.

Warnings: making out, angst, Matt's Catholic guilt and lack of accountability lol

Tags: @starry-night-20 @sumsytee @queerqueenlynn @mattmurdocksstarlight @marvelcinematiquniverse

Also, Ao3 link for anyone interested <3

Hell’s Kitchen 11 PM

It wasn’t right to keep coming to you at night, as Mike, when as your boss, everything had fallen apart. 

Matt fought with himself mentally ever since that night he last was with you—kissing your knee and giving you the space you needed. I shouldn’t be here anyway, he had told himself. Then why did he find himself crouched on his roof again, sensing with his hearing the path to your apartment? Why was he pacing back and forth on his roof, a tug of war between right and wrong, to make a decision? 

The whole thing was screwed up, he thought. He was pretending to be two different people with you: it wasn’t fair. As Matt Murdock, he had yelled at you and hurt your feelings. Of course, he wasn’t happy with himself. He let his feelings for you, as Mike, get the best of him. How was he supposed to react to hearing you’d put yourself in danger? 

God, the thought of you in that apartment complex, by yourself, with no weapon but that cheap can of mace you had on you the night he first met you. Something else echoed in Matt’s mind, that one night you’d taunted him with the willingness of throwing yourself in danger. “I’d walk into the depths of this city alone and in nothing but a sundress and wait for you to come to find me.” Matt shook his head at the memory, feeling his blood boil at the thought of you in danger, and him being absent. 

He was mad at the situation, mad at how he reacted, mad at himself. It felt really, really wrong, to ignore you in the office but still keep seeing you at night.

But if he stopped seeing you, even until things got better at the office, it might be suspicious. Especially since the two of you had fallen into a routine over the last few weeks. He wanted to apologize, to hold you and tell you the only reason he got upset was because the thought of you getting hurt made him nauseated, sick…but he can’t. Not as Mike. Not as your savior. He could only apologize to you as Matt, something he knew he had to do sooner than later.

Matt did find himself on your roof, soon enough. 

He waited for a few moments. You were in your room, wearing a soft hoodie and shorts. Your friends were just on their way out, but not before making sure you wanted to stay in. 

“Are you sure?” One of them whined. Matt listened closely to your breathing. 

“Yeah, I’ve got to study. Seriously,” You gently argued. You were half lying, Matt could tell. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. 

“All right well, leave the kitchen light on for when we come back,” another one of them said. 

“Will do. Be safe,” you told your friends. 

Matt waited and tightened the mask on his face. He listened as your friends made their way down the elevator, onto the streets. Then, he heard you shuffle back inside your room. You slipped on your shoes and headed for the rooftop access. 

Matt waited for you by the door, head down. When he was immediately hit with your overwhelming sweet scent, he knew there was no turning back now. 

“Studying, huh?” Matt teased. 

He heard you sigh, not lightheartedly. Tiredly. 

“How can you hear that? I wasn’t lying to them,” you argued. “Not entirely.”

You stood in front of him, arms crossed. Matt gently uncrossed your arms, pulled you in, and held you tightly. He buried his face in the crook of your neck. Breathing in your sweet scent reminded him of the day he yelled at you. Well, it was always on his mind, but this transported him back to that moment. Not only was the sound of your heart banging in your chest overtaking his hearing, but it was everything else in how you reacted that became obvious to his senses: your nervous sweat, your voice quivering. The more he thought of it, the more guilty he felt. The more it became obvious he had to apologize and ask for your forgiveness. He’d get on his knees right now if he could. 

Why was he here? What was he doing to you? 

“What is it?” He suddenly heard you ask him against his chest. You stayed there for a moment until you pulled back, arms still around him. 

“Something’s bothering you,” Matt spoke softly. It’s bothering me, too. But maybe if I can talk to you like this, as Mike, I can understand. 

“Yeah…” you trailed off. “I don’t know. Do you wanna hear about it?” 

“Tell me.” 

You sighed, again, and ran a hand through your hair. 

“Well, I’m not sure you’ll be too happy either,” you began. “The other night, I was out with my friends. I wasn’t really in the mood, but I haven’t gone out in a while. It was at a Cathedral turned bar. You’d hate it—sacrilegious and whatnot. Anyway, I left to get fresh air and happened to be on the street of one of our client’s houses. I thought I’d be helping, taking pictures for her of her terrible, criminal-run apartment. But my one boss, Matt, got so mad at me,” you explained, defeated. “I’ve never been talked to like that by anyone.” 

Matt tried not to react when you said his real name. 

“Did he say why he was upset?” 

“I put myself in danger, he said. Sure, that might be true, but I did it because I wanted to help.” 

“His anger must have come from a place of wanting you to be safe,” Matt echoed his thoughts from earlier. “Maybe the very thought of you in danger is too much to bear.” 

“Well, that’s on me,” you argued, “if I want to do something risky.” 

“Your risks can affect others too, you know,” Matt replied. 

“It’s not like I mean anything to him—I’m just his summer legal assistant.” 

Oh, sweetheart. You are much more to me than that. 

“You don’t know that,” Matt whispered. 

“You wouldn’t have done the same thing I did?” You questioned. 

“I would’ve,” Matt answered truthfully, “but it’s different. You’re a young woman, who barely has experience defending herself.” 

“Well, we all start somewhere, don’t we?”

Matt ignored you. “I’m happy you are safe. You should let people know your whereabouts next time.” 

“I have the phone you gave me,” you argued. “I would’ve called you if anything had gone wrong.” 

“I—“ Matt struggled with his words, “I know. Still. Please,” Matt begged, reaching his fingertips to your jaw, “I need you to be safe.” 

You cursed under your breath, you were tired of hearing the same sentiments from everyone. 

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Matt asked. 

“I guess I just hope he can forgive me,” you confessed. “I think that’s what’s bothering me. The guilt. I thought… he could be a mentor or something for me. But I feel like it’s ruined now.” 

“If his anger came from a place of wanting you to be safe, I am sure he feels guilty for the way he handled it,” Matt said in a strained voice. “He will forgive you.”  

“I hope you’re right.” 

Matt found your lips, pressing a light kiss on you. You slowly pulled back, feeling his lips detach from yours. 

“I am,” he whispered. 

Truthfully, it wasn’t about Matt forgiving you—it was more if you would be willing to forgive him. 

⣿⣿⣿⣿

You woke up slowly, then all at once. You had that strange feeling you got when your dream slowly fizzled into reality—it took you a moment to realize the startling beeping came from your phone alarm. 6:30 AM. Well, you didn’t want to admit it, but you knew there was no avoiding going in early for work this morning. And that meant possibly sharing the office space with Matt. 

It’s been a couple of days since he scolded you for taking pictures at Ms. Cruz’s apartment. You tried avoiding him at the office during this time, walking quickly past him when you had to, dropping his files off on his desk before he arrived, or shortly after he left…Karen told you she talked to him and said he would be apologizing, but that hasn’t come yet. You wondered if it ever would. Not that you really needed it; you just wanted things to go back to how they were. 

On your way to work, you took your time walking up the blocks of Hell’s Kitchen—you passed a bodega and went inside to grab some coffee for the office and some snacks as well: mini donuts and pastries. The old man at the counter smiled graciously at you as you dropped the change into his tip bucket. Small things like this made you feel better about heading into work. 

As predicted, you were the first person to arrive at 7:30 AM. You locked the door as you usually did and began to unpack what you bought from the bodega. You placed the box of donuts and pastries in the middle of the kitchen counter and began to refill the coffee machine. Walking to your desk, you booted up your laptop as you waited for the coffee to brew. 

Then came a knock. 

You looked up with feline reflexes and saw Matt’s silhouette in the window. His head was low as he waited for you to open up for him. After a deep breath, you walked over to let him inside.

“Good morning,” you greeted in a weaker voice than you anticipated. 

Matt pressed his lips together, in an attempt to grin. “Morning.” 

You shut the door, not locking it. 

You stood by for a moment, your hand on your opposite elbow, Matt’s back to you. You watched as he undid his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. He pulled his cane apart and felt for his jacket pocket, slipping it inside. He paused for a moment.

“How are you?” He asked turning his head. You could see his eyes peek from behind his dark red glasses. You moved your eyes to the floor. 

“Good,” you lied, “how are you?” 

“I’m all right,” he answered. “You got more coffee?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It should be done in a bit.” 

“Okay,” Matt breathed. He placed a hand on the door frame of his office and kept his other at his waist. Suddenly, everything in the office felt tense, like you were standing in the middle of an invisible fog. You didn’t need to see it to feel it. And frankly, Matt probably didn’t either. His head was low like he was thinking of what to say. 

“When it’s done,” he began, “would you come into my office? So I can talk to you?” 

“Yeah,” you replied as lightly as you could. Hopeful. “That's fine.” 

You wanted the coffee machine to hurry up from that point on. You poured two cups of coffee—black—and entered Matt’s office, shutting the door behind you. You placed a cup in front of him, to his surprise. 

“It’s black,” you told him with a small smile. He smiled in return, moving it to the side. 

“Thank you.” 

Your cup burned in your hands, so you placed it on his desk as well. 

Matt said your name, ever so softly. You’ve never heard his voice like this. He’s spoken to you kindly before—but not softly. 

“I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier this week. I know it was unprofessional. And I know it hurt you, for me to lose my temper like that,” Matt began. He shifted behind his desk and fiddled with his tie like it was too tight around his neck. 

“I want you to know that it came from a place of wanting to keep you safe. This firm has seen the worst of Wilson Fisk. I know Karen told you about Mrs. Cardenas. And while Fisk may not have his power anymore, there’s still evil in every corner of this city. I was more upset about me not knowing you were there. And I couldn’t bare to think of what could’ve happened if anything went wrong, and I wasn’t—none of us knew,” Matt pleaded, fingers interlocked. He sighed, at the mention of what could’ve gone wrong, like the thought of it actually pained him. You felt guilty, to an extent. He was right in some ways. 

“I understand, Matt,” you spoke softly, “I know I should’ve called someone. Like I said, I wasn’t planning on doing it. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. But now I know better, to consult with you or Karen or Foggy.” 

“Honestly, I… can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. But, please, next time, let us know. That’s all. I really… really can’t fathom if… if…” 

“I know,” you finished his thought for him. “I get it. Thank you for talking to me about it, Matt. I really appreciate it.” 

“And… I hope you can forgive me, for how I reacted. It wasn’t right. I know that,” Matt shook his head, sort of defeated. 

“Of course, I do—as long as you forgive me for going behind everyone’s back.” 

Matt held out his hand in response. You hesitated and then shook it. His hand felt surprisingly soft but strong. It was cold. He slowly retreated his hand. He smiled warmly and slid the coffee cup back in front of him. Then, a worried expression fell on his face again. 

“Your arm,” he mentioned, “I remember Karen said it was bruised. Is it okay now?” 

You’d almost forgotten about your tattoo-like bruise. It was beginning to fade, changing from blue and purple to green and yellow. It didn’t hurt anymore. 

“Oh,” you said, “yeah, it’s getting better. It doesn’t hurt.” 

“Good,” Matt nodded. 

You sat up from the chair and began to walk out, but Matt’s voice stopped you again. 

“I’m sorry,” Matt said again, “just so you know that I really regret speaking to you that way.”

You exhaled, truly feeling like a weight had been lifted off your chest. “It’s really okay, Matt. I’m just glad we can move forward.” 

He smiled and turned his attention to his Orbit reader. 

The rest of the morning went by better than you could imagine. It didn’t have to be said that Matt apologized—it was a clear indication that things were fine when Foggy and Karen noticed you going back and forth to Matt’s office, with questions about his cases and offering help on any writing. 

Things became even more solidified that all was well when Matt left a gift on your desk for you at the end of the day: a brand new leather-bound legal notepad. The color red. 

⣿⣿⣿⣿ 11:30 PM 

Now that you felt everything in your professional life was fine again, you easily fell into the warmth and excitement of seeing Mike at night. For a little, it was hard to push those things aside but walking up the steps to the rooftop access, you felt as light as a feather. 

There he was, your creature of the night, stalking the roof with his hands behind his back, dressed all in black. His face was half covered, a comfort you’ve grown used to, a feeling you knew would be hard to detach from, if you ever had to. He smiled when you entered into his graces. You grabbed him by his jaw and kissed him, hard. 

“You seem in a better mood,” Mike smiled against your kiss. You ignored him and kissed him more. 

“I am,” you affirmed, running your hands along the length of his torso. “How about you, Catholic guilt?” 

Mike laughed, and you felt the vibrations in his chest. He snaked his arms around your waist and held you against him. You moved your head so your neck was exposed. Mike ran the tip of his nose along the side of your neck, peppering kisses along the way. He stopped when he reached your ear, gently tugging it with his teeth. 

“I can never be in a bad mood when I’m with you,” he murmured in your ear. You shivered against him.

“You sure you don’t say this to all the girls you’ve saved before?” You smirked. “Our meetings have started much later lately.”

Mike growled in your ear as he held you even tighter, the joke of him being with anyone else other than you triggering him. “You’re my first stop, my last, and my only,” he said in a husky tone. He kissed your neck and pulled your hair to guide your lips to his. He kissed you and slid his tongue into your mouth. You graciously accepted. He was kissing you like he’s never kissed you before. He ran his fingers through your hair and rested his hands on the small of your back. 

“Mike,” you pulled back, breathlessly, “you know what I was thinking recently? And by recently, I mean, just moments before this?” 

“What, sweetheart?” 

“Sometimes, well, frequently, I really worry about you. I know you’ve been doing this a while, but now I feel like I have a hand in this fight. I…I’m attached to you. I feel safe with you. I worry about you.”

Mike’s jaw clenched as you spoke. Did you upset him, in some way? By being honest? 

“I know you say you worry about me and want me to be safe, but that goes both ways now. You know what I mean?” You continued, reaching up to run your finger over his bottom lip. Mike seemed to melt at the touch, unclenching his jaw. 

“Yeah,” he answered softly, “I know.” 

“I just thought you should know that now.” 

“Forgive me,” he answered almost instantly, taking your hand from his face and holding it. “For making you feel that way.” 

You looked at him confused. He kissed your knuckles.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” you said breathlessly. 

Oh, but only if you knew what there was. 

[ajpendragon]

Humanity

“What did you do?”

“Hi, Scott. Good to see you too.” John replied mildly, eyes never leaving the screen in front of him.

“Nope! You’re not getting out of this.” Scott narrowed his eyes at his brother, staring him down with the full force of the Tracy glare. “What did you do?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific. I’ve done a lot of things today. I brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, worked on-“

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“He deserved it, Scott. His foolish incompetence put you and Alan in danger, and injured Virgil. If he can’t be wise with his money, he doesn’t deserve to have it.”

“No, John. We can’t do that. We don’t decide who deserves it or not. That’s a betrayal of everything that International Rescue stands for. We’re the ones who save people, not arbitrate justice.”

“Betrayal? I’m the one betraying the family? No, Scott. It’s not me. The only one betraying the family is the one who continues to send his brothers into danger because he refuses to make a hard choice. I’m making things safer for our brothers, for the world. He doesn’t deserve that money. I left him enough to live off of, assuming he doesn’t waste it, but most of it went to people who needed it. People who won’t actively make our lives harder with their own stupidity.”

“Put it back, John. We can’t do that. We cannot stand as judge, jury and executioner.”

“I will not. I refuse to continue to stand by and allow him to endanger our family. I thought you would understand, Scott, but I should have known you wouldn’t. You never did like to make the hard choices. At least this family has someone willing to.”

John cut the call abruptly, leaving Scott to stew. As soon as the hologram flickered out, he turned to look at the figure floating in the corner.

“Was that sufficient?”

“We’ll see. If that wasn’t enough to get your big brother to come up here, I’m not sure what will. You’d better hope he’s mad enough to come up here and yell at you, or we’ll test just how long you can last floating out in space without oxygen.”

******************************************

Scott was furious, storming through the house down to the hangers. John had completely lost it. Sure, they had all thought about it a time or two, but thinking was as far as it got. It was as far as they could let it get.

They were not the law. They were not the deciders of right and wrong. They couldn’t be. It would destroy any credibility IR had. They saved everyone they could. They didn’t pick and choose who was worthy of their help. That betrayed the very idea of International Rescue.

A quick change into his uniform, and he was firing up the engines on Three. The elevator would have been faster, but he knew John wasn’t going to send that down for him right now. The rocket launched, pushing him back into his seat as it accelerated though the atmosphere and into space.

Thunderbird Five floated serenely, the calm showing no sign of the storm approaching. The commander was coming, and he was not happy.

He docked Three onto Five’s access port, waiting impatiently for the seal to pressurize before storming onto the space station.

“Hello, Scott.” His brother greeted him, seeming unsurprised to see him. “How can I help you?”

“You know exactly what-” Scott shot back angrily, before cutting off abruptly upon realizing that they weren’t alone.

“Hello, Mr. Tracy.” The Hood greeted him, the gun in his hand shifting to Scott. “So nice of you to join us. Your brother knew just how to get you to come.”

The betrayal in Scott’s eyes cut John deeply, but he stood firm. He had his reasons, even if his brother couldn’t understand. “It wasn’t hard.” He said, his voice as smug as he could make it. “You’re quite predictable, Scott. Always going on about responsibility and honor and watch-“ John stumbled over his words for a moment before resuming. “And all that. It doesn’t take much work to outthink you.”

Scott swallowed heavily. John’s words hurt, as he knew they were intended to. His brother was too smart to say something he hadn’t thought through. John was the best communicator in the family, which meant that he could cut someone to ribbons with only his words without even breaking a sweat.

Wait a second! John never misspoke. He thought about every word that came out of his mouth, which means…

Scott turned back to his brother, watching more closely. “Maybe I am predictable. Maybe I am just as stupid as you seem to think I am.” He forced the cutting words out of his mouth, trying to distract the Hood from the brisk tapping of John’s finger against his leg. Morse code! “Even if I am stupid, at least I’m not taking the law into my own hands.”

H-O-L-D. H-E-L-M-E-T. O-N.

“At least I haven’t decided that I can chose what’s right and wrong.”

Scott leaned back against the wall behind him, subtly looping his arm through the handle behind his back, and gripping his helmet tightly, ready to move. He could see John doing the same.

“At least I haven’t spent so long in space that I’ve forgotten my humanity.” He was shouting now, keeping the focus on him as much as possible. “At least I still act like a Tracy.”

His voice drowned out John’s whispered commands, and they both jammed their helmets on simultaneously. Then the only thing he could hear was the rushing of wind as the wall suddenly retracted, sending the Hood hurtling off into space.

The force tried to pull him out too, and he could see John fighting to hold on as well. He gripped tightly, watching as the Hood drifted off, before his ship suddenly appeared in front of him and he pulled himself into the airlock. The ship quickly disappeared out of sight.

The wall of the space station slid back into place, and the room quickly filled with oxygen again. At EOS signal, both brothers removed their helmets, looking guiltily toward each other.

“I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean any of it.”

They reached towards each other, clasping each other in a rare hug. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah.” Scott agreed. “But not here. Let’s go home.”

John followed him back onto Three, settling himself into the copilot’s seat as they pulled away from the space station. The ride home was silent, both of them retreating deep into the safety of their own minds, neither ready to talk yet.

******************************************

A short time later, both of them were sitting on the deck outside Scott’s bedroom, glasses in hand. They sat in silence for a while, trying to process the day.

John broke the silence first. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “I didn’t know what to do, so I made a call, and it was the wrong one. I should have figured it out on my own. I should never have upset you like that.”

“You did nothing wrong.” Scott shot back promptly. “You were put in an impossible situation, and you managed to get everyone involved out safely. I won’t lie and say what you said didn’t hurt, but I understand why you did it. I did the same thing to you. And some of what I said I don’t have any excuse for. I was angry at you, and I said horrible things I didn’t mean.”

“I know. I understand why you said it. I understand why you were mad. I was trying to make you mad, so I can’t really blame you.” John took a long drink, draining his glass in an attempt to regain his composure. “I think I’m going to turn in. It’s been a long day.” He set his glass down, unfolding his long legs as he pushed himself to his feet. “Goodnight, Scott.”

Scott set his glass down next to his brother’s, following him into the room. “Stay?” He asked softly. “It’s been a long day for both is us, and I think we could both use the company.”

John thought for a moment, before dropping down heavily on the bed. “Okay.”

He conceded. He threw back the comforter and climbed in, saving room for his big brother to climb in after him. They settled in the dark, neither truly ready for sleep despite what they had claimed.

“Was there any truth in it?” John asked, so quietly that Scott almost didn’t hear him.

“In what?”

“In what you said about me. That I’ve spent so much time in space that I’ve lost my humanity. That I’m not really a Tracy anymore.”

Scott sat up, dragging his brother up to look at him. “There was not a word of truth in any of it. I said what the Hood wanted to hear, but I didn’t mean a word of it. You are the best of us, John. You hear the worst the world has to offer every day, and you still remain strong. You know just how to help, how to keep people calm and focused. You have not lost your humanity, John. You help the rest of us keep ours.”

There were tears dripping from John’s eyes by the time Scott was finished speaking. Scott wrapped his brother in a hug, holding him close until John calmed somewhat. “I’m sorry for everything I said. Humanity doesn’t deserve you. I’m so proud of all that you’ve done, John. Nothing you could ever do would change that.”

They settled back down into the bed, Scott keeping his arms wrapped around his brother. They weren’t okay, not really. They had both said such hurtful things that they would remember in the dead of night. When the adrenaline wore off, they would feel the effects of their near-death experience. But for now, the assurance that they were together, alive, was good enough.

******************************************

Scott shot awake in the middle of the night, startling his brother from his sleep next to him. “We have to give Fishler his money back!” He cried.

John settled back down, closing his eyes again. “I never took it.” He said smugly. “I set it up so it would look like I did, but I didn’t touch it.” He assured his brother, already back asleep.

[wings-of-waffles]

Oh my god, you're THE AUTHOR of that one Mastermind x Chameleon fic on ao3! I'm a huge fan of your work, but I don't have an ao3 account, plus they disabled commenting, but I just wanna say that I'm a huge fan! Keep up the good work! Also, though I've personally never really put relations on the island for Stonemover in my headcanons (makes him more sad lonely British orphan coded to me), I personally am *loving* your idea of Stonemover and Mastermind being brothers. Just a worried older brother faced with so much after they found out about his animus magic and how people on the island whispered of his future madness and how he should be avoided, and the younger, nerdier brother who never fit in due to his nerdiness, and the older just wants to look out for the younger... Though I think I recall Mastermind mentioning in your fic that they grew apart? I'm not sure how you envisioned it, but after reading your fic, I really thought about maybe Stonemover returning to the island, only to see Mastermind gaining some success and he has Farsight and Mastermind claims that they're having a dragonet, while he remains convinced that his own romance can never work out, and then that's when Stonemover decides to leave the island, because he thinks that Mastermind no longer needs him? It'll sure be a doozy if they ever reunite. Maybe they'll figure out how to use the telephone? Maybe Sunny and Starflight will suddenly find out about each other's fathers being related? Anyway, sorry for the ramble, but I think that your ideas are really cool!

FIrstly, thank you thank you thank you!! This ask made me so happy to read, I'm so glad you like my stuff!! And now I'm going to ramble back at you because this stuff has been stuck inside my head for so long and I need to get it out!

And about some of what you said-- yes, Mastermind and Stonemover do grow apart, and some of it is some kind of rivalry, but it's also kind of two sided? Like Stonemover is jealous of his brother being able to do just do all this stuff he was never particularly good at, while Mastermind is a bit jealous of Stonemover not seeming to have to try to do things for the tribe since he just has it in his talons (and also he's a bit salty about his brother breaking the laws of physics and sometimes drives himself a little bonkers trying to come up with scientific explanations for feats of animus magic), and they both don't understand why the other seems to be suffering, even though it's the same reason: ludicrous expectations and severe overwork.

Now, about Farsight and Thorn and all that, although it's definitely an interesting angle, I do personally prefer to sideline it just a bit. Like Stonemover knows his brother has a girlfriend, but not much else, and Mastermind thinks it's a bit funny that Stonemover keeps hanging out in the desert, but hey you can see the sun there, and he's not one to judge. They can freak about them both having children around the same age later when they reunite and feel bad for not paying attention to each other and their struggles more.

Oh yeah their reunion! It is, as you put it, a doozy. Provided nothing changes, it should happen in chapter twenty-one of my current longfic. [(Re)Building Bridges, the one "I had a brother once..." was impatiently spun off from.] It takes that long because Stonemover can't really use a phone from where he's stuck to the floor, and Mastermind never told anybody except for Chameleon about his dead brother, and he doesn't tell anybody else about his dead brother (at least not by name), and so nobody realises they're related until M & C end up down at JMA for plot reasons.

So yeah! Mastermind is horrified by the fact that his brother felt the need to turn himself to stone and feels terrible about it, and then he has to tell him about the RainWing experiments and his intense moral failing and every other terrible thing that happened to him after Stonemover left. Then they have a mutual moment of understanding when Stonemover explains how he was forced to do *something* bad with his animus magic (I haven't decided on what yet) that pushed him over the edge and prompted him to leave, although it's really not the same they can still sympathize. There is lots of screaming, and crying, and Mastermind is kind of mad his brother was practically left to die in a cave after doing this to himself even after others fell out because somebody needs to be, and they find a way to keep in touch and promise they won't ever fall apart or resent each other ever again.

Meanwhile everybody else, who were preoccupied in the plot reasons, is confused as all hell as to why those two (Mastermind especially) are acting that way and Chameleon is like "oh yeah that's his dead brother" and then everybody else freaks out but differently because 1. even though there's no classes right now, they had a bit of a situation going on in their school 2. two of them just got surprise cousin'd 3. oh yeah also this weird green rainwing is here too 4. they still have plot reasons to deal with and finally 5. oh moons there are way too many things going on at once!! It's a whole situation, but the brothers reunite and they stop crying eventually and it's fine. :)

So yeah thanks for the ask, I'm glad you liked my work, and sorry for rambling a poorly formatted essay at you lol. <3

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Can we get protective yandere! Law with so reader that has golden retriever energy.

Like whenever she sees law she quickly runs up to him and hugs him tightly giving him affection she the only one that can make him crack a smile.

But he's quick to look at you dead in the eyes with the most icy look he has ever made if you so much as even think about her weird.

Shes good friends with luffy proclaiming him as her lost little brother while holding him up like simba wearing his hat.

Law would only bother with strawhat as long as youre happy around him. But he's quick to remind people like kid even king the wildfire himself, who are also drawn by your warm personality that you are his alone.

I hope that this is okay isn't too much for you and please have a good night

-Your eyes lit up as your captain entered the galley, “Law~~” he chuckled softly, softening as you had leapt up into his arms, hugging him around his neck.

-Even if you had seen him ten minutes ago, you always greeted Law like this, only him and sometimes Bepo got special attention like this, something that Sachi and Penguin were a little jealous about, but they couldn’t be mad at you.

-You were literally like the sun, anyone who sees you can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside, smiling to reflect your own sunshine smile.

-Law was rather territorial over you and your affections, only willing to share with Bepo, he wouldn’t hesitate to glare and hold you close, glaring at others who would dare try to get a taste of your sweet and gentle affections.

-Luffy was one of those rare exceptions, as you were both very similar in personality and when you first met, the first words out of your mouth was, “Brother~” and he hugged you back, laughing warmly as you spun each other around before you lifted Luffy up to show Law, “Look at my cute new brother!”

-Law didn’t mind, knowing Luffy was harmless, however, when Sanji came over wanting a hug too, hearts in his eyes, Law didn’t hesitate to freeze Sanji’s blood with one of the iciest glares ever, terrifying the cook.

-The only downside to your new relationship with Luffy is that he started mimicking you when you would see Law, calling out his name with a big smile on your face and leaping into his arms.

-It was easy dealing with just you doing it, but dealing with both of you would sometimes knock Law off balance and send all three of you to the floor. While he never yelled at you, he would yell at Luffy who would just laugh, finding it funny.

-And if Law ever has a bad day, all he needs to do is come and find you and hug you close for a few long moments, as he would instantly distress, having you in his arms.

[fandomgirlz01]

Just a Kiss Pt. 1

Soft Billy Hargrove x Reader

Imagine on my fandom Instagram?: No

Prompt?: No

Request?: No

Requested prompt?: No

Edited: Yes

Word count: 5,015

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings here

You can listen to the story be read out loud here.

Post Date: October 15th 2022

Post Time: 10:24 pm

Summary: As Billy and the reader lay in bed one night he realizes just how happy he is. He realizes that even just a kiss goodnight from her is good enough for the rest of his life.

Please refrain from stealing our work, thank you and please enjoy!!

♪ Lying here with you so close to me

It's hard to fight these feelings

When it feels so hard to breathe

I'm caught up in this moment

Caught up in your smile ♪

Billy’s Pov: 

I lay awake and sigh angrily as I rub my face. I turn over to look at the clock to see it’s only 9:30. I feel movement to my right and I look down to see that my wife is still curled up to my side, peacefully fast asleep. She lets out a light puff of air as she continues to sleep and I can’t help but watch her be so peaceful. 

Her face then twitches like she’s in pain and I instantly know what’s wrong. I carefully set my hand on her stomach before sinking down just a bit. 

“Hey. Let mama sleep, ok. She needs it,” I whisper to her belly as I rub it. 

Her face goes back to looking peaceful and I smile lightly in satisfaction that the baby listened to me. I sit back up and lightly pull her back onto my chest. She continues to sleep and I start to feel a little jealous that she’s sleeping so well, but then I’m glad she is. 

She needs as much sleep as possible right now. I grin as I pull her slightly closer and she nuzzles into my chest. Her face scrunches up for a moment as she lets out a light whimper and I kiss her forehead lightly. I rub at her belly again, making her relax, making me smile lightly and my mind starts to wander. 

It’s moments like this when she’s so close to me as I hold her that I wonder how I ever denied my feelings for her in the first place. When we first moved to Hawkins and I bumped into her in the hallway at school, there was this immediate connection. I knew it, she knew it and everyone else around us knew it. 

But I ended up acting like a total jerk to her and told her to watch where she was going before just walking off. It wouldn’t be until a few weeks later that I bumped into her again, but this time on the road when I was driving. My dad and I had just had another big fight, so I angrily stomped off. 

I went out to my car and drove away as fast as I could possibly go without breaking any laws. I drove and drove for a while before coming up to a very dark road. At first I didn’t see her, but as I passed her I could see her walking with her arms crossed to keep warm with tears running down her face. 

I still to this day have no idea what made me pull over and talk to her, but I did. I pulled over and she stopped to look in my window. I asked her what she was doing out there and the rest was history. 

We stayed friends for a while and she’d let me crash at her place whenever things got too much for me at home. We eventually started dating and now I couldn’t be happier with where we are. 

♪ I've never opened up to anyone

So hard to hold back

When I'm holding you in my arms

We don't need to rush this

Let's just take it slow ♪

I sigh lightly as I look back down at her to see she’s still peacefully asleep. She drools on my chest, but I could care less as I realize what shirt she’d worn to bed tonight and I remember the time when she’d first stolen it. 

~Flashback~

I slip into my car angrily and let out a huff, knowing exactly where I'm headed. I quickly pull out and purposely rev the engine, knowing it’ll make Neil even more mad. I drove for a while before coming up to her street. 

I park down the street, knowing it would wake her parents before quickly getting out of the car. I then walk up the street to her house and open the gate. I walk into the backyard and see her light still on. With a light smirk, I pick up a few pebbles before tossing them at her window. 

“What do you- oh, Billy. Sorry, I thought you were Steve. He does that too when he wants to go for late night swims,” she says as she looks down at me and I smirk up at her. 

“Nope, just me. Can I come up?” I ask and she giggles, making me grin. 

“Yeah. Dad’s asleep though, so we’ll have to be very quiet,” she tells me and I nod before starting to climb the tree outside her window. 

Once by her window, I quickly slide in, but my foot gets caught and I fall. We both freeze as it gets really quiet and I look at her with wide eyes. 

“Y/n, what’s going on in there?!” Her dad yells from down the hall and she puts a finger up to her lips, telling me to be quiet. 

“Nothing, dad! I just tripped again. You know me, clumsy as hell!” she shouts back and I hold back a laugh. 

“Oh. Ok. Be more careful, sweetie!” he yells back and she holds back a giggle. 

“Ok dad I will!!” she yells back with a grin on her face. 

We wait a few minutes and when it has been quiet for a while, we both burst out laughing. I quickly get up before walking over and throwing myself onto her bed. I put my hands behind my head as I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she giggles lightly before turning back to whatever she’s doing at her desk. 

“One of these days, you're going to get me into trouble, Hargrove,” she tells me as she shakes her head and I chuckle. 

“And you’d enjoy it,” I playfully joke and she lets out a snort. 

“Sure, I would,” she replies sarcastically as she rolls her eyes. 

We’re quiet for a minute as I watch as she does whatever she’s working on. She starts to hum and I sigh as the thoughts of the fight with my dad starts to creep back in. 

“You know. I’m here to listen whenever you need to get stuff off your chest,” she quietly speaks up and I shake my head. 

“Nah. It’s ok, princess. You wouldn’t want to hear the details, believe me. Is it ok if I crash here tonight?” I ask her and she spins around in her chair. 

“You know it is, Billy. And while you think I wouldn’t want the details, that’s fine, but if you need to get something off your chest then by all means, tell me. I just want this to feel like a safe space for you…” she tells me truthfully and I frown, shaking my head. 

“Nobody has ever tried to give me a safe space before. If I were to tell you anything I… I wouldn’t even know where the hell to start,” I mummer out as I look away from her and down at the bed. 

“And that’s ok, Billy. I don’t want you to feel pushed either. I’m simply letting you know that I am here if you need it,” she tells me softly before turning back around. 

“Thanks. Well, I’m going to sleep,” I tell her as I yank my shirt off before cuddling into her bed. 

“I’ll be over in a minute, just wanna finish this last line…” she tells me as she continues to write and I shrug, pretending I don’t care when I very well do. 

“Ok. Move over, you big lug,” she says as she walks over and nudges me lightly. 

“Wait. I wanna change,” she tells me as she jumps up from the bed. 

She leans down and scoops something up, but I don’t catch what it is. She quickly goes into her bathroom and changes before coming back into the room. I quickly put my arm out to her with a tired grin. 

She gives me a light smile before coming over to the bed. It’s only then I see she’s in my shirt, making me smile. She turns off the light on her bedside table before getting under the blanket and pulling it over the both of us. 

“Shirt stealer…” I mumble out and she giggles as she curls into my side. 

“And you love it on me…” she playfully pokes her finger into my side and I squirm, making her gasp. 

“Is the Billy Hargrove ticklish?” she asks with a raised eyebrow as she looks up at me. 

“Noooooo….” I playfully deny and she giggles again. 

“I think he is…” she replies as she pokes my side again before slightly tickling, making me squirm. 

“Ok… ok… I am definitely ticklish. Stop it,” I chuckle out and she giggles. 

“Oh. Ok. Only cause I’m not mean,” she tells me before she lays back down. 

Her head slots perfectly by my neck and she leaves a light kiss, making me shiver a bit. She smirks before settling and laying still. It goes quiet and suddenly my brain decides it’s going to mess with me. 

I start to think over the things Neil had said earlier and I run a hand through my hair. Y/n slowly sits up and frowns at me. 

“B… talk to me…” she whispers out and I sigh with my eyes closed. 

“Billy, baby. Look at me,” she tells me as she puts a hand on my cheek. 

I finally open my eyes and my breath gets caught in my throat at the sight. She’s sitting up, looking down at me as the moonlight that’s coming through her window reflects off her eyes. Her eyes shine with unshed tears and I just want to wrap her up in my arms as I take away whatever is making her sad. 

“Baby, why are you crying?” I ask her and she giggles a wet giggle as she wipes her nose. 

“I just…” she pauses and I wait patiently for her to continue. 

I sit up and pull her into my lap so she’s straddling me. I wipe just under her eye and she smiles a small smile at me. 

“It’s silly, really…” she tells me and I shake my head at her. 

“Nothing you’ve ever got in that pretty head of yours is silly. Please tell me,” I tell her and she lets out another wet laugh. 

“I just wish your dad wouldn’t be so hard on you…” she whispers out and bites her lip. 

I stare up at her in shock for a moment before shaking my head. I then bring her forehead down to mine and before I know it I’m spilling everything that happened tonight. 

~ End Of Flashback ~

That definitely wasn’t the first time I stayed the night with her, but it most definitely was the very first time I ever opened up to her and after I was done telling her everything, she kissed me. She then begged me not to believe a word he had said and in that moment I realized she’d be my forever. I decided right there in that moment as I held her while she fell asleep that I’d do right by her and always be there next to her side, no matter what. 

With another sigh I look at the clock again only to see that it’s now 12:00. I quietly groan before slowly moving y/n off me before getting up from the bed. Tiredly, I walk down the hall, but I stop at one of the pictures we have on the wall:

♪ Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't want to mess this thing up

No I don't want to push too far ♪

~ Flashback ~ 

“Billy, this is so cool. Who’s throwing it?” she asks as I park the car. 

“Tommy is. And before you complain about it being Tommy, don’t worry. You won’t even see him tonight. I just really wanted our first real date to be a good one seeing as I’m not much of a date kind of guy,” I tell her as I turn off the car and turn to her. 

“Awe, B. Don’t worry. You don’t have to be that guy with me. Just spend time with me, that’s all I ask,” she tells me and I smile. 

“That I can do, princess,” I tell her before leaning over to kiss her. 

“Are you ready for some bonfire fun?” I ask her and she giggles, nodding. 

“Ok. Let’s go have some fun, babe,” I tell her before getting out of my car. 

I quickly rush around and before she has even the slightest chance of doing it herself, I open her door for her. She gives me a huge grin before grabbing her over the shoulder bag and getting out. 

“My, if I do say so myself. Mr. Billy Hargrove can be a gentleman,” she jokes with me as she pats my chest and I grin. 

“I only had to find the right girl for me to be a gentleman,” I playfully joke back and she bursts out laughing. 

“Billy, honey. That’s so cheesy, but we both know you are more of a fighter than a lover,” she tells me and I playfully gasp. 

“And who says?” I ask her, making her snicker.

“Steve Harrington’s face, that’s who. Poor boy’s been done in by you more times than I can count,” she jokes and I purse my lips. 

“Yeah that’s cause he ain’t you, darlin,” I tell her and she smiles. 

“Well, how could I turn that down? A boy who’s willing to love on me and beat on others for me,” she smiles before giving my cheek a kiss as we come up to the table of drinks and food. 

She grabs a small cup and fills it with punch. I give her a look and she giggles as I take the drink from her and throw it over my shoulder. 

“Billy, that was my drink!” she shouts and I shrug. 

“I’m not letting you drink that on our first date. Tommy always spikes it. The food you can have, the drinks no. I’ve got some good ol Dr. Pepper in the trunk,” I tell her and she grins. 

“B. Is that your way of telling me that you wouldn’t take advantage if I was drunk?” she asks and I lazily shrug. 

“I mean, not that I would, but it’s more me looking out for what’s mine,” I tell her and she grins even bigger. 

“I like the sound of that,” she tells me as she wraps her arms around my neck. 

“Of what, exactly?” I ask and she giggles, throwing her head back. 

“That I’m yours. Silly,” she tells me before placing another kiss on my cheek. 

“Oh. Well, get used to it then. Cause you're most definitely mine,” I tell her with a smirk on my face and she nods. 

“Come on. Let’s go have some fun,” she tells me as she grabs my hand and pulls me away from the table. 

~ End Of Flashback~ 

The rest of the night was spent just walking around and talking to others. Then we found out that the younger kids were out there and I went livid trying to find Max. When we found them, they were just hanging by the fire with pepsi so everything was fine. 

The picture that I’m looking at was taken that night, definitely not one of mine and y/n’s first kisses, but it was definitely one of the best ones. We had decided to just hang with the younger kids that night, seeing as me and Max were working on our relationship after the whole mind flayer thing. Then someone started playing music and y/n had begged me to dance with her when what she deemed “our song” came on. 

Never being able to say no to her, we ended up dancing in front of the kids and I couldn’t care less if anyone thought it was weird. All I cared about was making my girl happy. We danced until the song was over and when it was, y/n looked up at me with so much happiness radiating off of her that I couldn’t help but to kiss her. 

As I did, Max sneakily took the photo that I now stand in the hall looking at and I couldn’t be more happier about it. If it weren’t for Max, the memory would have stayed just that, but now I can look back on it with fondness. 

With a shake of my head and a fond sigh, I walk to the kitchen. I decide to put on some music before getting myself some hot chocolate. Something y/n got me into, instead of hot milk or tea, y/n drinks hot chocolate to get to sleep on nights she can’t. I guess it just stuck with me to do the same. 

As I make the hot chocolate, the song we had put on repeat that night comes on. As the song plays quietly, I sit at the table and my mind drifts to the memory of our first real make-out. 

♪ Just a shot in the dark that you just might

Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight ♪

~Flashback~ 

“I had fun tonight, B,” y/n tells me as she turns to me in her seat of the car. 

“I’m glad you did. I had fun too,” I agree with a smile and she grins. 

“Well, I’ll see you on Monday at school?” she asks and I nod sheepishly as I try to gather the courage to just kiss her. 

It’s not like this is the first kiss we’ve shared, but it is the first one after our first date. Not to mention, her dad is just inside the house so if I do, it can’t be a make-out kind of kiss. I need to show her dad that I’m not the playboy everyone calls me, that I can treat his daughter like a queen. 

“I’ll walk you to the door,” I tell her and she grins brighter. 

“I would like that,” she agrees, biting her lip again as she nods. 

I grin at her before nodding and starting to get out of the car. I quickly round the front of the car before she even has a chance to open her door. We both smile at each other as I open her door for her. 

“Thank you,” she says as she gets out of the car. 

I grin at her as she gives my cheek a kiss before rounding behind me to the front of the car. I close the door before turning to catch up with her. I come up beside her and wrap my arm around her waist as I lead her up to the door. 

“Well, goodnight. I’ll see you on Monday?” I ask her and she grins. 

“If I don’t miss you and want to see you sooner… then yeah,” she shyly tells me and I smile, nodding. 

“If you miss me, don’t hesitate to call,” I confidently tell her and she smiles. 

“I won’t…I hope you sleep well,” she tells me as she bites her lip. 

“I hope you sleep well too, princess,” I tell her softly as I reach up and play with her hair, making her grin at me. 

I shake my head at her cuteness before leaning forward and attaching our lips. My hand moves from her hair and to her cheek. The kiss is slow and sweet. 

For a moment it feels like the whole world fades away as I kiss her and she kisses back. My heart swells with love for this girl as I keep her close. Before I know it, what was meant to be a simple kiss turns into a make out when she grins as she swipes her tongue over my lip and again I can’t tell her no. 

We continue to make out for a few minutes before she lets out a moan, making me pull away with a smirk on my face. I put my forehead to hers as I rub at her cheek. We then hear a clearing of a throat and we both freeze before turning to see her dad. 

He has his arms crossed with a stern look on his face, making y/n blush. I bite my tongue so I won’t say anything inappropriate in front of her dad. 

“You’ve got five more minutes to say goodbye, y/n,” her dad tells her before he walks back into the house. 

I chuckle and she groans, rubbing her hand over her face. I quickly pull her back and leave one peck on her lips before putting my forehead to hers. She grins up at me before biting her lip. 

“I really don’t wanna say goodnight to you,” she tells me softly and I smile at her. 

“I don’t either, but I promise it won’t be for very long,” I promise her and she lets out a giggle. 

“Who knew Billy Hargrove, “King” of Hawkins High, could be such a romantic?” she jokingly asks and I smirk. 

“Only for you, princess. Only you,” I whisper out and she smiles even bigger. 

“And he’s cheesy, too. I’m one lucky girl,” she tells me and I shake my head. 

“I’m the lucky one,” I tell her and she giggles again before giving my lips a peck. 

“Goodnight, B,” she tells me and I sigh happily. 

“Goodnight, princess,” I agree with her before reluctantly letting her pull away from me. 

I wait till she’s in the house with the door closed before shaking my head and pulling my keys out of my pocket. With a light smile, I walk over to my car and start to get in before looking up at her other bedroom window to see her waving at me. I grin and shake my head in disbelief before waving back at her. 

~End of flashback~ 

It was that night that I decided that even when life was bad or something was going on, just a kiss from her would be enough. She’d never need to do anything else but kiss me and I’d fall to her feet. Nobody else’s kisses were ever like hers. 

Just a kiss from her is enough to make my whole world complete. 

♪ I know that if we give this a little time

It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find

It's never felt so real

No it's never felt so right ♪

I’m startled out of my thoughts when I feel arms wrap around my neck and a kiss gets placed to my neck. I hear a giggle that makes me calm before I pull her around me and set her in my lap. 

“Sorry I scared you, baby,” she tells me as she runs a hand through my hair. 

“It’s ok. I just thought you were asleep,” I inform her as I close my eyes at the feeling of her hand running through my hair. 

“I was, but the bed got cold then I came to find you. Can’t sleep without you, baby,” she tells me and I nod as I bring a hand up and rest it on her stomach. 

“I’m sorry I woke you, hon,” I apologize and she shakes her head. 

“Shh. It’s ok. Can’t sleep though, huh B?” she asks me as she now scratches my scalp lightly. 

“That obvious?” I ask her and she giggles quietly. 

“Baby what’s going on?” she asks with a light frown and I sigh. 

“I don’t know. My brain just won’t shut off,” I huff out and she nods. 

“Well, clearly you finished your hot chocolate. So let’s go back to bed and try again, yeah?” she asks and I sigh before reluctantly agreeing with her. 

She slowly stands first and I start to get up after her. She grabs my cup and sets it into the sink before walking over to the doorway of the kitchen. She gives me a light smile as she holds her hand out to me. 

I walk over to her and grab her hand. She slowly leads me to our room and I chuckle at her tiny waddle. 

“Are you laughing at me?” she asks me in a fake offended tone and I shake my head. 

“No,” I playfully deny and she looks back at me, raising her eyebrow at me. 

“Ok fine, I might have been, but babe, the pregnant waddle is just so cute!” I tell her and she swats at the air. 

“Oh… stop, it's not cute at all,” she tells me and I shake my head. 

“No, it really is…” I promise her and she rolls her eyes again. 

We make it to our room and she lays down first before pulling me down with her. I let out a chuckle as I wrap my arms around her and she cuddles into me. I let out a yawn and she grins, looking up at me. 

“Getting sleepy now?” she asks and I nod before leaning down to place a kiss on her lips. 

“I can help you baby,” she tells me as she sits up a little. 

“What are you doing?” I ask her and she giggles before pulling me closer and laying my head on her stomach. 

“Helping you fall asleep,” she informs me as she starts to scratch at my scalp again and I immediately let out a sigh. 

♪ Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't want to mess this thing up

I don't want to push too far ♪

“You know I was remembering back to our first date,” I mumble out and she grins down at me. 

“Were you?” she asks and I nod as I let out another yawn. 

“And what were you thinking about that made you think about that?” she asks and I smile up at her. 

“You…” I tell her and she giggles, rolling her eyes. 

“I shoulda known,” she playfully says and I tiredly smile up at her. 

♪ Just a shot in the dark that you just might

Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight

I know it's time to leave

But you'll be in my dreams

Tonight

Tonight

Tonight ♪

“I know I’ve told you, but you are my forever,” I tell her and she grins with tears coming to her eyes. 

“B. You're my forever too. I love you baby,” she tells me through her tears and I reach up to wipe at her falling tears. 

“I love you too and our soon to be coming little one. I never thought I’d have this,” I tell her as I sit up and she shakes her head. 

“You only thought that because that’s what you had put in your head because of your dad,” she tells me and I pull her into my side as we lay back down. 

“I thought you’d leave me a long time ago, but you proved me so wrong. Thank you princess,” I explain honestly and she nods against my chest. 

“No. It wasn’t just me, B. You may have thought you’d mess this up, but you worked just as hard as I did in this relationship. That’s one factor to why we’re still together,” she tells me as she starts to draw circles into my side. 

♪ Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't want to mess this thing up

I don't want to push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might ♪

I smile as she looks up at me with so much love in her eyes. I let out a puff of air before shaking my head. 

“I really love you so much,” I tell her with emotion clearly in my tone. 

“And we love you,” she affirms as she takes my hand, putting it on her stomach. 

“You were and still are my shot in the dark, you know that?” I ask her and she grins. 

“Awe, B, you’re mine too,” she tells me before she leans up and gives me a kiss. 

She then cuddles in closer and lets out a sigh of comfort before she’s falling asleep. I lay awake for just a few more minutes as I watch her sleep peacefully. 

♪ Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright

Ohh… ♪

As I lay there with her in my arms while getting more and more sleepy, I can’t help but love where we are. Married, living in California just down from the beach with a baby on the way. What more could I ask for from life? 

Only four years ago, I didn’t see my wife even being a part of my future, let alone that it’d be this good. The old me could have never imagined the life I have now. I feel y/n wince once again and I rub her stomach like I did earlier. 

She lets out a puff of air before settling into peace again and I smile softly. I'm so glad I found all of this. I'm glad that I have someone that makes even just a kiss goodnight so wonderful. If it’s with her for the rest of my life. I couldn’t want anything else. 

♪ Let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight

With a kiss goodnight

A kiss goodnight ♪

The End…

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@olivia-zaq @justyouraveragefangirl1967 @haleypearce @awesomesauce-abbie

[mollymauk-teafleak]

you can set my broken bones and i know cpr

I’ve been mentioning this fic for so long its not even funny but it’s finally here! What I imagine their first time to be like, as intense and messy as they are. As always this is dedicated to and comes with huge thanks to my wonderful gf @hangsters!

Please reblog and comment over on Ao3 if you liked this!

-----

What's your problem, Kazansky?

Tom is trying to work out the answer to that question when, all of a sudden, it walks through the door.

-----

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

It was a hell of a question.

Tom didn’t think Maverick had meant much by it, he was just riling him up, business as usual. Snapping and nipping at each other the way they always seemed to when they were forced into close proximity, testing each other’s limits, finding out where the boundaries were. Normal amongst guys like them, the best of the best, bold, young men used to defying the laws of physics as a day job.

But Maverick and Iceman found those boundaries just so they could break them. That wasn’t normal.

It was locker room posturing but when Maverick had said that, Tom’s brain had apparently seized it with both hands, eagerly replaying it over and over to drive him mad. What’s your problem, Kazansky?

Not just the words but the way Maverick said it, his hair slick with sweat and eyes sparking with leftover adrenaline, the collar of his too large flight suit turned up in a way that made Tom want to take a fistful of it. Just round and round in his brain as he tried to focus on his classwork, as he tried to distract himself by working out, as he tried to do anything but think about Pete Mitchell.

It was a hell of a question but at least Tom had answered honestly. Kind of. He wasn’t sure he could lie to Maverick, just take evasive action.

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

You’re everyone’s problem.

Maverick was everyone’s problem, he hadn’t lied, the guy was going to get someone killed one of these days. It was only that Tom probably had a slightly different problem than the rest of them. A different kind of crash and burn was waiting for him the more time he spent thinking about Maverick, goddamn Maverick with that smile and those eyes and that way of looking at Ice’s walls and knowing exactly where the cracks were.

Because Maverick had been honest too. He was dangerous. More dangerous on the ground than he ever could be in the air, at least to Tom. Up there, he knew how to fly right, keep it perfect and seamless to throw off cowboys like Maverick.

But down here, Tom was trapped. Trapped with that fucking crooked smile and his own traitorous brain that didn’t know when to  let go of something that was going to ruin him, that refused to learn lessons he’d already had beaten into him.

What’s your problem, Kazansky?

It was a hell of a fucking question.

Being at Top Gun was a lot like being in high school, in a very depressing way.

Tom was back to fighting to prove he was the best, back to his unhealthy studying schedule, back to measuring his self worth on a scoreboard. Back to spending all hours at the gym to try and wear himself out too much to think about another guy.

It really was exhausting to realise how little ground he’d covered since then.

Slider wasn’t happy with him, it had been obvious on his face, when Tom tried to lightly, casually, shrug and say he wasn’t feeling home just yet, he’d stay and work out a little longer, trying to make it sound as though the thought had just occurred to him. Slider knew him far too well to be fooled, his face had fallen into the frown that Ice assumed he must use with his daughters when they tried to tell him they had no idea who’d tracked mud through the house or who’d scribbled in crayon on the walls.

He’d thought for a moment his RIO would dig his heels in, get stubborn the way he only ever did when Ice was doing this to himself. But he’d just sighed and shrugged and muttered something about making sure Tom paced himself, leaving him to it. Leaving Tom feeling absurdly guilty, of course, but he’d find a way to make it up to him.

Making sure he didn’t get kicked out of the Navy and leave him without a pilot would be a start.

So Tom headed down to the gym as the windows were filling with the orange glow of sunset. Breathing easily the way he only could in an empty room, he kicked the treadmill into a setting most people would wince at and lost himself in the act of running. It had always felt good, Tom letting his heart thunder in his chest and his pulse roar through his ears, his muscles burning and his lungs fighting in his chest. He’d spent so many evenings like this when he was younger, just running along the beach without caring where he was going or worrying about saving energy for getting back home. It had been the only way for Tom to satisfy his restless anxiety, at least until he’d learned to fly.

He’d never truly been able to run from the things chasing him. The shouting at home, the slamming doors and fists against the walls, the tension at school, the constant fear of anyone finding out. All those followed him, no matter how fast he ran, even now he was supposed to have outgrown it all.

But it was nice to believe it, for a little while.

At least until it tipped over from pain Tom could bear into pain he couldn’t. Regretfully, he thumbed the button until he dialled down from a headlong sprint to a rapid walk, panting heavily, eventually no longer at risk of hurling on his own trainers, just trembling and gasping and blinking sweat out of his eyes.

There was one blissful moment of silence or at least what passed for silence while blood was scorching through his ears and his heart was throwing itself against his ribs.

Just one though.

“What the hell is your problem, Kazansky?”

This had to be some kind of nightmare, Tom thought numbly. There was no other explanation for why the very man he’d come here to get away from would be standing there right now, towel in hand, eyebrow cocked in a way that was inherently punchable. It had to be a nightmare, on par with the classic turning up late for an exam you didn’t study for or appearing in the middle of the assembly hall naked. God help him, he really was back in high school.

“You trying to kill yourself or something? Jesus Christ…” Maverick scowled, as if he had any right to an opinion on what Tom did with his spare time, “If you’d tripped, that pretty face of yours would have been smeared about a mile across the floor.”

Tom swallowed hard and steeled himself, even as his skin burned and chest heaved and sweat ran in sheets down his face. Maverick was always doing that. Moving in close. Letting his eyes wander. Stretching and flexing when he knew Tom was looking. That pretty face of yours.

Tom had always had guys getting up in his face, that was being in the Navy, that was being a fighter pilot. But this part was new, this part was all Pete Mitchell. Those little jabs that could just be posturing, could just be Maverick’s own tastes, the ones that had been obvious to Tom since he’d first set eyes on the man.

But could so easily be a less than subtle I know. I know exactly what you’re thinking, Tom Kazanksy.

That was the part Tom had no clue how to deal with. That was where the crash and burn was waiting.

So he did what had been working for him so far, what he’d done when Maverick had given him that smile from across the briefing room and when he’d bared those teeth and got nose to nose with him in the locker room, trying to make the Iceman flinch. Tom just set his jaw, didn’t move a muscle in the direction Maverick wanted him and smiled like this was all amusing rather than terrifying.

“Sweet of you to care, Mitchell, but I’m fine,” he turned away from him to kick the treadmill up into a light jog, keeping him out of sight to make things easier, “What are you doing here? Sure there’s a small army of girls at the O Club wondering why there’s no overcompensating shortass doing bad karaoke in their faces.”

He heard Maverick give an exaggerated wince and sigh, “Damn…and here I was trying to make you proud, Ice. I thought good little pilots stayed up all night to make sure they were the best…”

“Realised you couldn’t keep up with me on nice white teeth and charm alone, huh?” Tom gritted his teeth and thumbed the button to take the speed up higher, ignoring the protesting burn in his chest.

He couldn’t see the way Maverick’s eyes crinkled and his grin turned crooked as he laughed but Tom’s turncoat brain filled it in for him anyway.

“Guess not…you really think my teeth are nice?”

Tom’s face burned for a reason other than the punishing pace of his feet, “Yeah. A pretty nice target.”

“There it is,” he laughed again, a highly irritating ease to it like this really was just fun for him.

Maverick slung his towel over the frame of the machine next to Tom. Of course, with the entire rest of the gym completely empty. What would be the point otherwise?Tom wanted to ask what the hell he was doing here. He wanted to ask where Goose was, at least he was a good, affable buffer. He wanted to turn heel and run away. But all of those were different degrees of letting Mitchell win so he just focused on breathing and running, on trying to believe that every heavy step would take him further away from this problem.

“God, you’re doing it again. Kazansky, if you wanna compare dicks with me, we can just go into the showers and get it over with, you don’t need to give yourself a freaking coronary.”

Maybe it was the mention of dicks- something a certain part of Tom’s brain was already doing way too much thinking about with Maverick in those gym shorts- or maybe it was because Maverick had missed but still hit far too close for comfort. Whatever the reason, those words shot right through a chink in the armour and Tom found himself snapping and throwing his fellow pilot a glare.

“Why do you care?”

Maverick arched his eyebrows, like he was just as surprised as Tom at the slip, “Aren’t you the one who told me we’re on the same side?”

“But you don’t care about that,” Tom panted, hating how weak he sounded, trying to speak as he ran.

“Well. Maybe I’m having too much fun with some actual competition,” Maverick quirked his shoulders, “Believe whatever you want, just be careful. Cracking your head open on a fucking treadmill would be a really dumb death for a fighter pilot.”

Figuring out why this was infuriating him so much more than the smug grins and raised fists would probably take more soul searching and therapy than Tom would ever have time for.

“I don’t need Pete Mitchell of all people telling me to be careful,” he growled, turning the speed up just to be an asshole.

Maverick rolled his eyes, “Kazansky, it’s just us here. I mean, for God’s sake…”

That’s what’s worrying me. So Tom clicked his teeth closed and focused his eyes ahead, resolving to pretend this conversation had ended despite all social cues. Whatever was coming at the end of Maverick’s exasperation, if anything even was, he didn’t want to know. He wouldn’t allow himself. The only thing he was allowed to do was run.

And then even that was taken away from him. Because his left foot suddenly caught on the edge of his right sneaker, because suddenly he was lurching forward with no way to stop himself or right himself, because suddenly there was no time to even make a noise or even brace for the pain.

Because suddenly a hand was slamming on the stop button and a surprisingly strong arm was wrapping around his chest and holding fast like the harness in his plane. The track halted and that solid arm was enough that Tom could jerk his foot out and catch himself. It felt like his stomach kept moving though, slamming sickeningly into the bottom of his feet with the realisation of just how close he’d come to a nose dive onto what was essentially a belt sander.

And the realisation that it was Maverick holding him upright.

“Fuck,” there was a fair amount of surprise on the other pilot’s face. His finger was still on the stop button and his arm was still around Tom, “Didn’t I say you were being a moron?”

Tom jerked back like the touch was burning him, so sharply that he nearly went sprawling all over again, “Don’t.”

Maverick frowned, “Don’t? Don’t what, don’t keep you from giving yourself a concussion? Jesus, Kazansky-”

“Why do you do that?” Tom wheezed, trying to get his breath so he could sound less like a pouty child, “You hardly ever use my callsign except when you’re making fun of me. It’s fucking infuriating.”

He wasn’t exactly going to recover from that so Tom just stalked off towards the showers. He’d run circles around his bedroom if he had to, so long as it wasn’t where Pete Mitchell was. Though the man himself seemed determined to make that harder, at his heels like one of those little dogs that just wanted to keep snapping at you, whether it was winning or not.

“What, you want me to call you Iceman? You sound like a Batman villain and not one of the interesting ones,” Maverick was bristling, though Tom couldn’t see why and had no desire to find out.

“What I want is for you to get out of my face, Maverick,” Ice scowled, pulling his sweat soaked shirt up over his head, training his eyes on the locker in front of him, trying to turn the other pilot into a buzzing irritation in the corners of his eye, something small and dismissable.

“For helping you? See, this is what I don’t understand about you,” Maverick squared his shoulders, Tom only knowing because he felt the wary prickle it sent down his spine, “When I’m an ass, you play the game and you bite back. But when I actually try to be nice…I don’t get you.”

“And why do you care about getting me?” Tom asked before realising with a wave of sickening panic that he wasn’t supposed to want that question answered.

That panic made him turn, looking to end whatever this was and head to the showers to probably do something embarrassing about it. But of course that brought him nose to chest with Maverick. Tom expected anger, he expected that smug, crooked grin, he expected gritted teeth and challenge.

But Pete Mitchell just looked uncertain. Not a look Tom had ever expected to see on that face but it suited his features better than it really should.

“Because…because it’s just us here?” he said. Like that was all there was to it. “So…so what's your problem, Kazansky?”

Tom swallowed hard, “You’re dangerous.”

Maverick’s mouth twitched, “And you’re smug.”

“You’re cocky,” Tom took a step forward, bringing them closer.

Maverick lifted his chin, “You’ve got a stick up your ass the length of my arm.”

“And…” Tom took a deep breath, though it didn’t do much to slow his heart, “And this is never going to work out, Mitchell.”

Of all things, Maverick laughed, his eyes so bright it looked like a fever. The way they’d looked when he’d first asked him that hell of a question, when he’d gotten right up in Tom’s face and turned the callsign that was his armour into a joke. The way they probably looked when Mav threw back the throttle in his plane and pulled off some insane, probably illegal manoeuvre that by all rights should have got him confined to quarters or slammed into the ground at mach two. Except this time his hand was outstretched and he was asking Tom to come with him.

“How do you know if you never try?” Maverick cocked his head and grinned.

Tom gritted his teeth, letting go of the last scrap of self control, “God damn you, Mitchell.”

He grasped the shorter pilot by the shoulders and kissed him hard enough to bruise.

Part of him, despite it all, was still expecting Maverick to flinch back in disgust, to shove him back and look at him the way all the other guys had, like there was a world of difference between them and him. Even if it had been them who’d pushed him onto his knees in the first place.

But Maverick only grinned into the kiss, like this was a triumph, gasping, “Forget God. I was kinda hoping you’d have the honour of damning me, Kazansky.”

“Showers,” Tom said firmly, giving Maverick a shove in that direction.

They were alone here, as far as they could tell, but there was no sense in being stupid. Guys like them didn’t survive by being stupid. Plus Tom knew he probably stank. So he yanked Maverick down to the stall furthest from the door and turned the water on high, looking to fill the small, tiled space with the sound of drumming water and some forgiving steam. But he was close enough to hear Maverick undressing behind him, fabric dropping to the floor, dog tags rattling lightly, movements urgent and shameless.

It wasn’t as if Tom hadn’t seen Maverick without his clothes on before, if you were in someone’s squad, you’d see their dick and that was just the way the Navy went. But the way the guy was just tossing his gym shirt and shorts aside like they were just dressing down after a hop, like there was nothing unusual about this. Like this had all been inevitable. Like he’d been thinking about Tom as much as Tom had been thinking about him.

Except Maverick hadn’t been torturing himself over it. Maverick had just gotten in his face and done something about it.

That thought was knocked out of Tom’s head as he was shoved under the water, still wearing his shorts. Thankfully he’d been standing there like an idiot long enough that the old pipes had finally started sputtering out warm water. So at least he wasn’t freezing as Maverick span him and pressed his back against the cubicle wall.

“What are you…” Tom blinked in confusion, watching Maverick sink onto his knees.

Maverick’s eyes narrowed, “You’re not familiar with the concept of a blowjob, Kazansky? You sure looked like you knew what one was when you were eating ice cubes at me in the O Club.”

Tom huffed out an irritated breath, “I’m not familiar with guys pulling me into showers to give rather than get.”

He wasn’t sure why he said that. There was no reason to tell Maverick that his experiences in the navy had never moved much beyond his high school ones, quick flashes that were never worth the shame that rushed in as soon as they were over, men wanting very specific parts of Tom and disregarding everything else about him, like he was a carcass they were dividing up. They wanted his hands but told him not to speak so they wouldn't hear his deep voice. They wanted his willing mouth but closed their eyes. They wanted his trustworthy silence and not to meet their eye in the locker room the next day, they wanted him to know the very simple rules of this and stick to them. They were never hooking up with him, he was just a body for them to put whatever face or hands or voice they wanted over his own.

Tom wasn’t sure why he said that. And he wasn’t sure why it should be any different with Maverick.

But Maverick just gave a derisive snort and wrinkled his nose, “What kind of major league assholes have you been taking to bed?”

He pulled down Tom’s sodden shorts, grinning at the erection that nearly smacked him in the face, “Fuck. Good to know you’ve got something to back up that smug grin, huh?”

“I got plenty,” Tom bared his teeth at him, curving his body a little more so the shower spray broke against his back, shielding Maverick from it.

But droplets still hung heavy in his eyelashes and his hair, clinging to the dark strands and making them shine. Between that and the sharp angles, the glitter in his eyes, he could have been half obsidian, like if Tom reached down and touched him, he might cut his fingers. But he reached down anyway, rewarded by the soft touch of his cheek, feeling his smile in the sweep of his jaw. After the chaos in his brain a few seconds ago, there was something oddly still about this moment. The steady sureness of a decision made with no way to turn back.

“Sure…wanna see what I got?” Maverick smirked, before leaning in and licking up the underside of Tom’s cock.

He inhaled sharply, that line of foreign warmth burning its way along him, “Yes…”

Maverick’s delighted laugh was lower, rougher, cut short as he kissed up and down the considerable length of him, focusing on the head, that spot that made Tom’s vision blur. He toyed with him, something playful in how he warmed him up, in how he let his breath run hot along his skin, in how he got him wet and slick with spit. Like he wanted to hear something and knew he could tease it out of Tom.

And Tom wasn’t about to disappoint him.

“Oh god, please,” Tom moaned, his grip on Maverick’s hair tightening as the other pilot’s hands went wandering between his thighs, “Mav…”

“Something wrong, Kazansky?” he nearly purred, voice smug and breathy. His fingers were still moving.

“You know damn well what,” Tom growled, feeling every nerve in his body thrumming like an out of tune instrument, everything Maverick was doing so much, yet not enough.

“No, no, if you’ve got a critique, I wanna hear it…” Maverick was somehow finding a way to grin and run his teeth along his cock in one smooth motion, “You’ve never been shy about it with my flying.”

“Thats a completely different thing and you know- oh god, come the fuck on, Mitchell.”

With a bark of borderline evil laughter, Maverick finally gave Tom what he needed, taking everything he could into his mouth and wrapping a tight fist around what he couldn’t. After teasing him so effortlessly, he suddenly became too generous, using every trick in whatever book guys like them built up over the years. He hollowed his cheeks, he swirled his tongue, his free hand caressed Tom’s thighs in a way that relaxed those muscles for what had to be the first time in years. Tricks that Tom knew but probably couldn’t execute as well, not that he’d ever be admitting that to Maverick.

Though he felt like he was admitting enough, his body not releasing he had a reputation to uphold in this rivalry that was becoming something very hard to define right now. Tom found the pitch of his voice soaring and plummeting without warning, his head tipping back so the water ran down his face in sheets but he couldn’t make himself care. Almost like if he drowned here, it would be worth it.

The noises coming out of him, the sighs and moans and bitten off curses, he could feel himself wanting to be embarrassed by them, like a muscle reflex. But Maverick’s hands on his balls, his thumb running up his dick, his teasing teeth kept Tom rooted in place. The little voice in the back of his mind that always whispered to him in moments like this, telling him this could ruin everything, had shut up for once. It felt more like a fist drawn back than any real relief but right now, he’d take it.

Tom held out as long as he could, clinging to every single second, because god only knew what was going to happen when this ended. But with Maverick sucking him off with the same infuriating competence he flew with, with the same reckless abandon, he couldn’t even be completely certain how long it had been before he was at the edge.

“Mitchell…” he managed to turn the gasps and moans and growls pouring from him into something like words, “Mitchell.”

Maverick didn’t slow, eyes flashing up at him like a crooked finger. He only took Tom down deeper, as many inches as he could physically fit, relaxing his throat and inviting him in. Tom’s voice broke first, then the tension in him. The moment he hit the deck, everything closed down, lost to the heat that flooded into him and out of him.

The next thing he could really be certain of was a two beat tune of his ass hitting the tile then the back of his head hitting the wall. Maverick was still on his knees, under the spray now too without Tom to be his umbrella. He was grinning, catching the white that had spilled out of the corners of his mouth, lapping it off his fingers, cat like.

“See? Wasn’t that more fun than fighting?” he hummed, diamond droplets in his hair and on those enormous eyelashes.

He looked too beautiful for words.

Tom realised he hadn’t replied for too long, voice breaking as he tried to, “Does that mean we’re buddies now?”

“Fuck no,” Maverick’s eyes glittered, reflecting the falling water with amusement, “I didn’t say all that shit wasn’t fun. Just that this is more fun. God, I’ve been waiting ages to see if you’d punch me in the jaw or fuck me and I’m so glad you went this way, Ice.”

“Yeah, I was waiting to see how things would shake out too,” Tom shifted so he was more comfortable, resting his arms on his knees, “But, technically, I haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?” Maverick paused, folding his legs underneath himself.

“Fucked you. Your place or mine?” Tom felt the corners of his mouth lift.

Maverick brightened so easily, so simply, it was hard to look at. Like flying right into the sun.

“Thought you said this wasn’t going to work, Ice?”

Tom leaned forward, until their lips were brushing, a promise of the kiss he was going to give him.

“Who cares? Like you said, it’s fun.”

Tom knew what a bad idea this was. He knew exactly the size and shape of the pain that was waiting for him on the horizon of it all, how it would hit him with the force of a truck, how he’d probably never be able to run fast enough to get ahead of it.

But Tom couldn’t make himself care. He was more than happy to have Pete Mitchell be his problem.