#and the reason this specific song reminds me of him is cus HE always tells the same story when he hears it

[lilbirdblu]

i admittedly dont watch fit's streams very often because him & ramon are the sole family that reminds me that i didnt actually survive my childhood w/o some sort of daddy issues

so as im working on his character's playlist it fucking. hits me like a spear to the chest that the song that always reminds me of my dad is also very applicable to q!fit

[willbyersenthusiast]

since i won’t shut up about Found Heaven, here’s a list of songs i think are very byler coded:

Found Heaven (the title track)

Alley Rose

The Final Fight

Miss You

Forever With Me

Eye Of The Night (kind of)

Winner (kind of)

and yk what while i’m here im gonna explain the reasons i think so;

Found Heaven:

i already explained this in a previous post (idk how to link them so have fun scrolling) but i will give a brief explanation; the song is about internalized homophobia and it’s basically conan telling his younger self it’s okay, or at least that’s how i perceive it, so i see this as a mike wheeler song. it can be will too but will is more out of the closet than mike tbf.

Alley Rose:

this one is kind of more about yearning and wanting but not before the relationship, it’s after it. they’re also kind of nervous around each other (especially mike) in season 4. the line “i waited all year at your feet like maybe you’d love me” is so them because they both waited for the other to reach out when Will moved to Lenora.

for the bridge, will is so worried about his best friend hating him because he’s gay and in love with him. “i thought if you’d ever leave me that i’d be the reason why.” and will again for the last little bit of the bridge saying “i swore hands were made for fighting, i swore eyes were made to cry, but you’re the first person that i’ve seen whose proven that might be a lie.” it’s kind of self explanatory in a way because will grew up in an abusive household. and for “don’t leave me hanging alone again.” i feel it fits both of them but also mike, because mike told will he felt like he was losing him and he wanted to be best friends again in s4

The Final Fight:

i feel like this one says how will wants to tell mike how much mike hurt him, and how he really upset him. he probably wants himself to get over mike and thinks this will help him (but it’ll just make mike confess😏 [hopefully].

Miss You:

this one makes me think of Mike telling Will how he misses him and how he felt like he “lost you or something.” and how “it’s not hawkins without you.” in season 4. and he knows he’s been a douche a little asshat (you can tell i’m a little upset with this mike lmao) but he wants “to be friends again. Best friends”

Forever With Me:

holy fucking shit this one. this song. i see this as Will yearning for Mike and wanting to be with him forever. “I ain’t sorry, though i should probably be. I think i’m gonna love you. You’re forever with me.” THIS SCREAMS WILL BYERS. “you are the reason i learned to love. Also the reason i cry” holy fucking SHIIIITTTT

Eye Of The Night:

i perceive this song as “this person haunts me. i see them everywhere and i can’t escape them” so it kind of reminds me of how they like always come back to each other? idk this one just kinda makes me think of them 💀

Winner:

this song (mainly just the pre-chorus and the chorus) makes me think of the rain fight. Will’s pov to be specific. i see it as Will saying “yeah you won you made me feel like shit, are you happy??” ykwim? OH AND THE SECOND VERSE “yet you have the nerve to miss me. how do i somehow feel guilty when you’re the one who let it get this bad” HOLY SHIT THATS LITERALLY THEIR FIGHT AT RINK-O-MANIA. like mike blaming will for not reaching out in the heat of the moment and therefore will blames himself too.

anyways that’s my little rant done GO STREAM FOUND HEAVEN ITS AMAZING AND IT HAS SUCH A DAZZLING 80S VIBE ITS MY FAVORITE THING RN GO LISTEN TO IT PLEASE ITS LIFE CHANGING

[keepcopinghoe]

catch up pt.1

quick rundown of what’s been going on with me

ramo is the first guy that i’ve consistently and personally interacted with since about 2018 and definitely the first guy who actually around my age that i’ve formed a relatively close bond with. i think it’s for this reason that i’m so attached to him. he frequently described himself as an incel (ironically tho) and i think his last actually non-paid-for sexual relationship was back in 2017. so i stupidly assumed that i was the only girl in his life that he was actually close with and this delusion i think in many ways also is what build the foundation behind the inexplicable quasi-infatuation that i have now.

 on 06th june he told me about some girl that was part of his i***c*** discord which i already knew he was a part of since ages ago. i asked about her and he said she was from lithuania and that he was pissed off because some other guy was orbiting her which immediately set off alarm bells to me since there’s legit no reason to get pissy that someone else is orbiting a girl unless you like her yourself. he also said some shit to me which i think was unintentionally (or maybe intentionally?) hurtful, about how he could easily afford my prices and that i sell myself way below the market rate (both true but still). i think it’s both these things happening at the same time which particularly stung: ramo orbiting some e-girl who is involved in the same interests and hobbies to a greater extent than i am and also the emphasis that i’m a whore (and a cheap one at that) who no one would ever really consider as a serious dating prospect if they knew anything about my history.

i told him shortly after than i didn’t want to see him for a month or so, making up the excuse that it was because i was gonna be too busy. this is partially true cus i did initially have the plan to work every single day until the date of my breast augmentation/lift surgery which would be 25th june, earning like £700 a day in profit if i worked very hard. that didn’t quite come to fruition because there was some guy who booked with me that left a negative review on UKP which led to a fussilade of criticism from various users about me being a power-tripping time waster who frequently ghosted clients. this is kinda true except the power-tripping part; my timewasting is a direct result of substance abuse problems which is a direct result of whoring myself out to men that i often find unattractive. all in the preceding week (i met ramo on a sunday and this shit happened the following week).

two separate people passive aggressively threatened to send me another negative review over text, i have to provide a discounted rate to two of my regulars due to consistantly missing bookings, someone left me a negative review under my AW profile (which they did through sending a booking request that i didn’t confirm) saying that my service had declined massively over the last few months and that it was like ‘fucking a zombie’ and the final night of working on thursday (10/06), i saw this guy who has followed me under various aliases i’ve had in the past (jade/sana/etc.) and that i last meant at kingston premier inn in like june 2019. would have been a nice blast from the past in some respect but i made a stupid retarded decision to do coke with him - i then sniffed poppers which was retarded as well because poppers are a stimulant and speeds the heart up even further which i didn’t really know at the time. i then got super paranoid that i was gonna have a heart attack and kept telling the client in question to ensure that he call an ambulance if i collapsed, which i’m sure really got him in the mood. his name was james and i stupidly told him my real name. he couldn’t come and i felt like shit because i knew he didn’t enjoy himself - he told me in his mind that he had kind of ‘built’ the meeting up and i suppose it must have fallen massively short of his expectations. it is what it is.

i couldn’t sleep really at all due to the coke. i had several meetings arranged for the next day on friday with regulars all of which i cancelled. i just couldn’t continue on with the same routine of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting because i keep eating junk food delivery, doing an enema, getting drunk and just getting fucked until bedtime even though it was really good money.

i fucked around and went to chinatown on saturday evening and was feeling really happy and relieved about not having to work. i’ve figured that i can just make money after my surgeries and start again under a new profile where i don’t have any negative reviews attached to it and maybe rent out an actual apartment on a monthly basis, since it’d be cheaper than air BnB and i can set things up the way i want. i ate sweet and sour fish and egg fried rice, it was taste (ramo always says that lol).

idk what compelled me to do it but on 14th june, i looked through ramo’s likes on twitter. i think it was because i recalled seeing an obvious girl account in his likes previously - this is something i didn’t really think about at all previously but with the new information he had told me the sunday before, i ended up browsing her account which kind of led to a personal crisis. i found out fairly quickly that this girl was the same one he had referred to on discord (m** on discord, j**** on twitter) simply because there were screencaps on her media referring to the same discord and she was definitely from lithuania. i always assumed that women in these circles were lame and bland tradthots who lacked any kind of constitution beyond mindless pandering to irony poisoned scrotes and genuinely retarded wignats but i was suprised at how immediately endearing this girl appeared even to me, through the internet and as someone i have every reason to feel petty resentment towards.

her shitposts were funny and while she is edgy, she has an underlying sweet and kind disposition. her art is shit but cool in its own scrambled way. she’s also apparently only 16 so it’s understandable - i was a lot more cringe at her age and just as shit at art.

the feeling of inadequacy was overwhelming since in addition to being an actual whore, i’m super cringe, lame and normie compared to her. it made completely sense that ramo would orbit a girl like this and i’ve since completely re-evaluated my position and meaning in his life. it’s a good thing that my cope of feelings of intense inadequacy is to launch myself into a phase of hyper-productivity - i kept practicing drawing (apeing her in a way ig since i recently had kind of given up on drawing), fasting, reading, etc. to try and overcome how worthless and self-loathing i felt at being the unwitting basis of comparison to a young girl who was better than me in every conceivable manner. i even listened to msg 3.

i was in so much pain over this that i couldn’t listen to songs which reminded me of ramo (any i****c*** but specifically drug approved and also temptation) and when i did, i just felt anger at my position and a weird resentment towards him. worth mentioning than ramo had sent me a weird bootycall kind of text sometime before then which came across as really crash, so that made me feel even more devalued. 

this is already super long so i’m gonna follow up with a pt. 2 later or maybe edit.

[thewalkingdetective]

Ranking The Songs On Taylor Swift’s Lover

1. Cruel Summer – Top dog because it’s the song that’s stayed in my head and that I’ve wanted to listen to over and over the most. Some concrete reasons: the highest concentration of amazing lyrics on the album are here (“Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes”, “It’s cool, that’s what I tell him, no rules, in breakable heaven,” “He looks up grinning like a devil”, “I cried like a baby coming home from the bar”, “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you,” “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”, “Summer’s a knife – I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”….okay basically the whole damn song). Match that with the infectious beat, catchy melody, and unexpected production choices (like the shouty bits), and it’s just an amazing, amazing song.

2. The Man – If you said that I have this song overrated, I wouldn’t argue the point. It resonates deeply with me and my life experiences and I could see how it might rank lower for people who don’t connect with it so well. However, if you want to put it lower than 5, I might have to fight you. My favorite part is the bridge, possibly one of my favorite T. Swift bridges ever, which I love so much I must quote here: “What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models, and it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad. If I was out flashing my dollars, I’d be a bitch not a baller, they’d paint me out to be bad, so it’s okay that I’m mad.” She went there, 100%, nothing held back out of fear of offending people.

3. Lover – Taylor finally has her song which will take a place in the Love Song Hall of Fame, her romantic magnum opus. The bridge, which I know was an instant favorite for many, actually took a few listens to grow on me, but now I am 100% on board.

4. The Archer – I’m not sure which is more powerful here – the ambient perfection of the production or the exquisitely, simply, poignant lyrics. The production creates an ambience in a way no song ever has for me…somehow it is the smoke rising slowly off a battlefield after the fight is over. The lyrics are so relatable, so universal, without being generic. Taylor tends toward very specific, personal lyrics, which is excellent, but it makes me all the more impressed by this song since it’s not her default. It’s poetic.

5. You Need To Calm Down – It’s a bop, it’s a jam, and it is filled with stone-cold, downright zingers and useful life lessons. What more could we ask for?

6. I Forgot That You Existed – I know, I know, it’s simple. But that’s the brilliance of it. Don’t you see? Snap. Snap. Snap. The piano audio memo made me like it even more and I desperately want a piano version of it now (Please, Taylor!). And come on “in my feelings more than drake, so yah”.

7. I Think He Knows – More snappity snaps. But seriously, listen to this song and tell me that when she sings “he got my heartbeat, skipping down sixteenth avenue” you don’t feel like you are actually skipping. The falsetto is a new sound for her and it works well.

8. Cornelia Street – I don’t know what to say about this song. It’s very classic Taylor, and I’m happy about that. This is her sound, her style, and I think it’s good to have some anchor songs which pull the experimental, newer sounding songs together and remind you that this is a Taylor Swift album. Of course the lyrics are lovely and hit you in the feels and it’s a lovely little song.  

9. Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince – This song sounds like it could have been on reputation, but somehow it doesn’t feel out of place on Lover. I think it might be the shouts that pull it together, as that’s a production technique which is used frequently and brilliantly on Lover. The most impressive thing about this song for me is how she manages to address so many things at once (her relationship with Joe, politics in America, the death of her reputation), but it doesn’t feel scattered. It paints a complete picture of her life at a certain time.

10. Death By a Thousand Cuts – What I love about this song is that it sounds like a bunch of little cuts falling on you and that’s just fucking brilliant.

11. False God – Sex. Angry Sex. I’m here for it. She tries something new with the sax and I’m here for that too. Nothing else to say.

12. Soon You’ll Get Better (Feat. The Dixie Chicks) – Classic Taylor; the lyrics paint a picture so vivid, you see every line as if it were a movie in your mind and since this movie’s a really sad one, you bawl like a baby. You’re putty in the hands of a lyrical master. I do wish that the Dixie Chicks had a bit more to do, unfortunately they’re basically just generic backup singers.

13. Paper Rings – This song is saved by the pre-chorus (“Kiss me once cus…one, two, three four!”) from being just a generic bubblegum bop. You think you’ve got it pegged and then the pre-chorus comes in like a teenager shouting “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” and you’re like “damn, alright.” Then the bridge hits you like a one-two punch and you happily admit defeat – the song has won you over in spite of yourself.

14. Daylight – This song feels like just what the doctor ordered as an album closer. But somehow its quality is elevated by its position on the record, and I don’t think it’s as strong when looked at as a standalone track. An exceptional finale, if not necessarily an exceptional song.

15. Afterglow – My only beef with this song is that it’s sonically too similar to The Archer and Daylight, and I feel that those songs could overshadow it for the casual listener. But that’s not much of a beef; it’s a solid song and on somebody else’s album might have been a standout track.

16. London Boy – Not a bad song, just outpaced by all the songs ranked above it. I do wish she would have left off the weird Idris Elba talking at the beginning. In my opinion it just confuses the listener and distracts them from the song for a few beats as they try to decipher it. It’s obviously an inside joke for her and Joe, but it adds nothing for the rest of us.

17. Me! (Feat. Brendon Urie) – The real problem with this song is the lyrics, which were aimed at uplifting and inspirational, but instead flew right past those stops and ended up in the land of sickeningly sweet. There’s nothing exceptional about the melody here, but it could have formed the basis for a good song if better lyrics were built on top of it. It’s incredibly unusual for Taylor to write weak lyrics, but it’s sadly not so unusual for her to release one of the weaker songs on an album as the lead single. As for Brendon Urie…he’s fine I guess. Doesn’t contribute much of anything apart from being a male voice, but also doesn’t take away anything.

18. It’s Nice To Have a Friend – Unquestionably the weakest song on the album. For me personally, it’s the weakest song in her catalogue and one I’ll never listen to again – I just can’t stand the screeching children’s choir, but not everyone has had such a visceral reaction, and I acknowledge that some of this is personal preference. This song screams of Jack Antonoff’s influence – he loves to experiment with sounds. And when it works, boy does it work. But when it doesn’t, it REALLY doesn’t. I do appreciate and respect her wanting to experiment, but there also comes a point where you have to say “hey, that was fun, but it’s not a great song.” Especially when you’ve already got more than enough great songs to make an album.