#and the two letters are just missing ONE THING but i am overthinking that one thing and what it should be...

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush [PART 1]

Bonta my beloved...

From these two shots we can see the approximate location of the Crepin-Jurgen residence.

Atcham is, for some reason, the first one at the door. Maybe he's been walking a polite "I don't know those two" distance away from Kerubim and Joris. Idk.

[guy who misses liveblogging Dofus and pointing random things out voice] Here Luis says that it took Joris, Kerubim, and Atcham three months to get the Dofus. I wonder what this means.

DFHGSDFGOASIDKFJSADGKDFHAO;SFHSADJFHAOSUDFHSADJKFHJASDKFHASDJFHASJDFHUSAIDFHASJDKFSDF

Catboy Joris agenda continues to rise.

Two of the silliest things here are an unopened letter that has a chunk of it torn off (unopened for 3 months, mind you), and the lute with two broken strings.

...I really want to see that picture on the wall fully. What does it depict. Hi what does it depict. Hello.!

Judging from the legs, I think it might be Atcham in promiscuous clothes. Literally idk though.

I love you, Luis.

(Random stack of four pillows and a little stool with a bucket and a bowl on it in the corner there. They may or may not have left home midway through cleaning...., or something.)

SFDAJDKSLFJSDHASOUDFHCNSAJDKFHJKASLDFHKJASDFHJAKSDFHKAJSDFASDJFH

They ARE rude, Luis. Kill them! Kill them!

I think Atcham is the only one who is brave enough to say this out loud because Luis has a history of being scared shitless of him.

It is no longer the case after 600 years — he lives here, after all, — but he is still the least likely to get beaten by a floorboard in his sleep for running his mouth.

No comment.

This — the cookies/whatever, and tea in a kettle, — leads me to believe there's a tiny timeskip between them going to the basement, and them getting the map and the Dofus out, and that during said timeskip they had tea and cookies.

Also, I find it so funny that they have three little chairs, and the only one using a chair is Kerubim... to stand taller. While Atcham is literally just sitting on the table.

Very important lore. Truly.

This map is., 200 years out of date. And it was created before the Ogrest's Chaos.. When most of the world wasn't, y'know... flooded.

They're so grandpas... This is so fucking funny I can't.

Also, they couldn't find more than one nail to hold it down, so it seems someone (probably Atcham) just pierced it with a dagger. dfhgjsdfg.

He;s so cute.... i need him to be hit by a car.

Atcham is so glad to have finished this quest... In my opinion, he turns to Joris to say this, because Joris has been worried the entire way back. However, it doesn't help much.

You see, I am insane about this entire exchange. I'm crazy. THIS is why I love the OVAs: they allow us a brief, but very important glimpse into Joris, Kerubim and Atcham's life in Wakfu era.

Joris is weighed down by the morally questionable things he does. Even if it is a "good thing", he isn't proud of it. He's scared they'll hate him, and he's scared that it's a step out of his lane.

However, Kerubim is the one who justifies his and Joris's morally questionable actions. He justifies them through an appeal to the authority of the king, and an appeal to the morality of it.

And he does all of it the second he sees Joris hesitate or be uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form.

He's been doing this for 600 years. This is so unserious.

He just interrupts and disregards everything Joris says, as if Joris is insane for thinking these things... and in a way, he is right — Adamai and Yugo do forgive Joris, who seems to have been agonizing about them being mad at him...

I think Joris overthinks things a lot and starts to panic easily, and Kerubim knows that, and knows how to stop him from doing that.

Besides Kerubim demonstrating that here, he also demonstrates that, really, despite role-playing as their dad, Joris doesn't have the highest authority in this household.

Btw, Kerubim is so very good at chilling when things are actually catastrophically bad, that in my opinion his "this is literally so easy. this is going to be okay. papycha will protect you." may or may not be one of the main contributing factors to Joris doing war crimes in Waven, instead of going insane from panic. Family who war crimes together, stays together.

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

[bloodstainedsaint]

things better left unsaid. (dick winters x nurse! reader)

summary: you find out that perhaps war is not the best time for romance. (written as two letters from the two of you)

word count: 1650+

warnings: sappiness, angst of the pining variety, breakup(?), and ofc mentions of war

notes: any feedback would be appreciated 🫶, also inspired by @currahee's post about dick's "completely platonic" female penpal. since i've never read the letters between him and that woman myself, i took one line and ran with it

Letters written two days before D-Day. Though they were never meant to, both letters accidentally, and in no way aided by nurses and Easy Company men (specifically a man named Lewis Nixon) alike, make their way to their receiver.

Dear Dick,

I still remember the day you came into the base's hospital, looking for one of your men who’d been injured during a field exercise. You had made it difficult to pay attention to the soldier I was treating, asking like a concerned father if he would be alright. Not to mention your flaming red hair out of the corner of my eye.

Noting stupidly in the back of my mind the entrancing blue-green shade of your eyes, I had smiled and told you he would make a quick recovery. You’d returned my smile and said you'd be back to check on him. Like some silly schoolgirl, I had secretly looked forward to the return of this tall, attractive man.

Over the course of your several returns, we’d talked about ourselves while your private slept. Our easy conversations concerned simple topics, like where we came from, what we did before the war, and what we would do after it was over—though the fighting had yet to truly begin for us. There was a rumor going around base that you were a Quaker; lucky me, I found out you weren't before everyone else did.

There weren't many injuries at that time, and I guess you'd decided to stick around to watch your soldier recover. I was grateful for your company, as you were unlike a lot of the men I had encountered working here: flirty, overconfident, vulgar, you know the like. You were reserved and gentlemanly, with a small smile that I could tell you didn't show many others and a dry sense of humor. I suppose your humble beginnings in Pennsylvania had shaped you into a humble man.

Even after your soldier was released from the hospital, you came to visit me. I wasn’t sure why, and still am not today. You were a busy man after all—why spend time with a random, dime-a-dozen nurse? I wasn't complaining, though; like the fool I am, I had already began catching feelings for you, which I was sure were unreciprocated. You were probably just being respectful, I reasoned when I found my mind was full of thoughts of you, someone so upstanding wouldn't risk a relationship in times like these. If only I knew I was right. I wouldn't have bothered staying up at night overthinking every little thing you did.

During your free time, you would help me treat other patients, keep stock, move boxes, routine things like that. Over time your visits grew in frequency; so much so that your men had started teasing you whenever they saw you enter — sneak away to, rather — the nurse’s facility. I missed your company when you couldn't come visit, when arduous training took up too much of your time.

Fortunately for me, we started meeting while I was off-duty. Not surrounded by dozens of men, these stolen moments proved to be much more intimate. Taking walks around the base during the early morning before anyone else had risen or late at night when the base was fast-asleep was one of my favorite past times with you. You'd walk me to my small living quarters and offer me your jacket if it was cold, tell me about the seemingly universally hated Captain Sobel and how your men were doing. Sometimes our hands would brush, and I would feel my cheeks get warmer despite the biting cold. I could've sworn I saw your cheeks redden as well as your eyes snapped to our hands and just as quickly were averted.

Winter was coming to an end, and as the planned date for the Normandy invasion came closer, nerves were rising all around base. One mild evening, after a week of not being able to visit, you confided to me your concerns about the war. I boldly, brazenly, took your hands in mine and reassured you that everything would work out in the end. Holding my breath, we stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like a lifetime before you tentatively leaned your head down and kissed me. That was the first time I’d ever seen you unsure of yourself. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest; what if we got caught? What would they do to us, to you, after everything you'd gone through? But at that moment, time slowed down. Nothing mattered. It was just you and me, my hands in yours, and your lips on mine.

After our kiss, your visits started becoming more sporadic, until days without you stretched into weeks of silence. Do you know how much I longed to hear your calm, steady voice during a busy day, to watch the dew on the grass in the morning with you, to feel the warmth of your presence next to me as the stars twinkled in the sky? Eventually, I resolved to pull you away somewhere private the next time I saw you and give you a piece of my mind.

And so I did. As soon as I saw your tall figure, I took you behind the hospital and confessed everything I was feeling towards you: the hurt, the bitterness, the betrayal, the love. Irritatingly composed, you firmly told me that you had no time for such frivolities in war. As the words left your lips, I felt my heart shatter into a million different pieces and settle like glass in my gut. I told you, my voice not even sounding like my own, “if that's what you want,” and I entered the hospital again.

It's been a week since then, and two days before you drop into Normandy. And though you'll never read this, I yearn ask you: is that what I was all along? Some distraction that you entertained before I had to be pushed aside? I would've waited for you to come back to me after the war, would've waited for a better time. Is this it for us?

Although it pains me to say that I still love you, it seems that some things are better left unsaid.

Sincerely, (Y/N)

-

Dear (Y/N),

It’s now two days before our drop into Normandy. Much has happened to Easy Company since Toccoa. Much has happened between you and I since we met here in England, while you were treating one of my men.

I never regarded you as a potential suitor; I couldn't do that to you. Knowing that in a few months time we would be parachuting into France, I was reluctant to develop things any further. As it stood, I had already taken an unprofessional liking to you since that day we met in the base's hospital. Our following conversations certainly did not help the matter. Starting a relationship would have jeopardized my men and myself. I had to focus on running the company, and when we got deployed, I knew having a sweetheart back somewhere safe would have fogged my mind and gotten me or someone else killed.

Yet in spite of my reservations, I got ahead of myself and began spending more and more time with you. Though it was never explicitly confirmed between the two of us, and though we never said it, many would have considered us dating. We both knew what we were doing. For a while, and with the encouragement of Nixon, I relished being with you, taking you out every morning and night, assisting you with your tasks for the day. It was nice to get away from the duty of watching over my men and focus on the person I adored.

In the spring, as the day of the invasion loomed ahead of us, things were ramping up. I couldn't see you as often as I used to or would've liked to. The day I could ended up being the day we kissed, when things changed irrevocably between us. I wasn’t acting like myself that day; I let my feelings get in the way. When I stared into your eyes, I saw a lifetime with you, and without meaning to and without much due thought, I leaned down and pressed my lips to yours. From that day on, I knew I couldn't let this continue.

I needed space from you after that, before I went careening into the uncharted territory that is romance. It pained me to avoid you, but it was for the best: I'm a ranking officer, and you're a ranking nurse. Being caught fraternizing puts us both at risk.

But more importantly, it wasn't fair to you, my men, or myself. Easy Company needs a levelheaded leader. If I were to panic in the midst of enemy fire thinking about getting back to a lover, I'd be letting them and myself down. And the thought of you receiving a letter informing you of my death is something I could never forgive myself for.

I said as much when I told you I had no time for such frivolities in war. You didn't deserve that. I'll never forget the hurt that flashed across your face. I see it every day, reflected in the morning dew on the grass and in the stars at night. In everything I used to enjoy with you.

Nixon has since convinced me to rethink my decision to break things off. Nix is a very persistent man, you could guess. I don't think two days is enough to mend what is irreparable. But I can start with a letter I'll never send, so that if the Lord allows us to meet again, I can tell you this personally:

There may not be time for frivolities in war. But when the war ends, there will be time enough for you.

Sincerely, Richard Winters

[valerieofavonlea]

I think we as a fandom are overthinking the terms of the duel too much

So I just went through and reread most of Taravangian's chapters for a different theory, and something really stuck out to me, especially in RoW.

We were given some frankly kind of vague terms at the end of RoW between Dalinar and Odium, and with a long wait in between books, what else are we supposed to do other than pick apart every tiny detail and theorize? I have some thoughts.

This might get a little rambley so buckle in.

Let's establish a few things, and then I have a point, I promise. I know everyone is focusing on the draw, on not making a plan for if no one wins, because of Wit's story. That makes sense and could be obvious foreshadowing. But Dalinar in the moment kind of threw out everything Wit had carefully prepared and put together very simple terms. I still don't know that there's a whole lot of room for a draw with the terms we have, nor does Todium imply a draw when he's reviewing the deal, but a victory:

"The way to win was to make sure that, no matter the outcome, you were satisfied. Odium should never have entered a deal he could not absolutely control. 'It can still be done,' Taravangian realized, seeing the possibilities -so subtle- that his predecessor had missed. 'Yes... Dalinar has set himself up... to fail. I can beat him.'"

I'd also like to point out how Odium operates, as stated on at least two separate occasions:

"Should we write... a contract?" "Our word is the contract. I am not some spren of Honor, who seeks to obey only the strictest letter of a promise. If you have an agreement from me, I will keep it in spirit, not merely in word."

and

"This isn't some deal with a Voidbringer from your myths, where one tricks the other with some silly twist of language."

Now it is unclear if this is a Rayse philosophy or something the shard itself is bound to, but it is interesting nonetheless.

Now, onto my main point. Taravangian is a scheming, conniving character who spent four books paying chess, outsmarting and manipulating, and very very carefully planning. His arc in RoW is quite interesting then, as he gets dumber and dumber, he begins to see less value in the intelligence. For all his smarts, all his planning, he has managed to save just one city out of an entire planet, landed himself an execution as a traitor, and burned countless potential allies.

"Smart Taravangian has proven insufficient. Smart Taravangian has failed. He hasn't just been made intelligent. He's been given a coin and a curse. Intelligence on one side. Compass on the other. When smart, he assured that compassion was the curse. But was it really? Or was the curse that he could never have both at once?"

By the end of RoW, Taravangian has become so much a being of pure emotion that he's constantly attracting spren, and he has become the perfect vessel for a shard of pure emotion.

The old Taravangian would have chosen the scheming, the wordplay, outwitting anyone and everyone he could have. The old Taravangian would have reveled in a tiny tiny loophole or trick of wording only he could see, but he got a whole lot of nowhere with all that scheming.

"Odium had bet so much upon Dalinar being his champion. Now that was in chaos. The god bragged about his plans, but Taravangian knew firsthand that you could plan and plan and plan, but if one man's choices didn't align to your will, it didn't matter. A thousand wrong plans were no more useful than a single wrong one."

So, what if he is leaning all the way into the passion thing now rather than the intelligence he was chasing for most of his life? Because the scheming and trying to overthink didn't work out that well for him, but the emotion, the feelings, that's what got him this power (and the capacity to save everyone). So the question becomes, are we as a fandom approaching the duel incorrectly, trying to think too hard about loopholes and the specific wording, when this new version of Todium would be more likely to use an emotional approach? Something to think about.

[emblazons]

—so @magentamee reblogged this ask from me and like the little overthinker I am, I realized a few things.

A lot of people here have talked about the way the ending of each season foreshadows something that goes on in the next one / has clues as to the feelings and directions the characters are headed in—which we all certainly know is true of the voiceover of Hopper’s letter to end S3. Looking at this shot specifically, though—

—aka when a sentiment + phrasing Hopper says mirrors both Mike’s ongoing actions with El in S4 (“my life started that way we found you in the woods” mirroring all the Mike/Hopper emotional conflations I’ve already pointed out), we get some very interesting subtext & unruly amount of foreshadowing.

Here, we have El holding onto Mike for dear life, while Mike is half holding her and half holding Lucas/Dustin…the two other members of the party who are strictly platonic in his mind, foreshadowing her moving 100% into a platonic space (“care” v “love”), while she still tries to cling to the emotional connection of the romantic, which is interesting enough foreshadowing on its own—

—but even more than that, we have Will set apart from that wholly platonic group, while Mike and Will are the only ones whose faces you can see…with Will in the light and Mike in shadow, the exact same way we repeatedly see reflected in the cinematography even more dramatically throughout all of S4.

That single S3 shot mirrors the way (as several people have pointed out) Will is also the “focus” of the supposedly romantic moment between Mike and El because the sentiment is built on Will’s painting—

—where Mike is again in shadow because we have Mike’s romantic disconnect on display while we as an audience have (once again) have the structure of the show ask us to to focus on Mike & Will, even as it’s supposedly El who he’s ‘attached to.’

Basically—that scene was S4 Mike in a nutshell.

A Mike who is being clung to by El because she is missing her dad, but who has moved her into a platonic attachment in his heart of hearts

A Mike who will reflect the same sentiments as Hopper in his attempts to assuage El’s loss

A Mike holding El up (but us not seeing her face) reflecting the entire sentiment of him giving the monologue without her offering a response

A Mike who we are starting to see the truth in again, but who is “in shadow” because he is being dishonest about himself and his feelings

The shift of focus from “the group” (aka the whole party being in the shot) to Byler alone (Mike and Will being the only faces you can see)

Will being “illuminated” and the “light” that Mike follows when he is in shadow (whole or partial), for better or worse (aka Mike feeling affirmed by Will, but Will’s dishonesty causing problems)

….on top of the fact that (if my suspicions are correct) the light/shadow thing also reflects their own sense of accepting their queerness/feelings for one another.

Basically…I really do love it when something that lasts 2 whole seconds that I happened to look up because one phrase repeated itself actually holds a lot of information that only makes sense in recontextualized retrospect…just like everything else in this lil show lmaooooo

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - #43 August 1998

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming! Spring is in the air, but can’t it just be summer already? Let’s get a head start by checking out Issue #43 from August, 1998.

First let me say, I love this cover! It really surprises me that they didn’t feature more Nicktoons crossovers for cover art, it’s a fun idea. Dare I say it might be the only Nickelodeon Magazine cover featuring a crossover between different Nick shows? With original art, I mean. (The Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour and its sequels got their own dedicated issue covers but that's different, it doesn't count.)

Before we begin, just letting you know you can read the magazine along with me here.

Well, can you find which flavors are fake and which are real? 

Yep, the ones that sound fake… are fake! 

It’s a bit obvious isn’t it? If Gatorade had played their cards right they could have tripped everyone up and taken this as an opportunity to announce a new “Trout” flavor. Missed opportunity indeed.

I’d say we’ve got the makings of another winner issue here. There’s nothing like the excitement of an impending summer vacation! Although, if you were alive when this magazine was released, chances are summer vacation stopped being a thing for you a while ago. But hey, I say you're never too old to have fun! So grab your sunscreen, beach towels, and feel free to take any notes for when you’re making your summer plans. Let’s dive in!

A three foot long poster? Well I’ll be, I’m surprised there’s any space left in the box to fit the cereal! 

Little history lesson here for those unfamiliar: If you check the bottom right of the page, you’ll find mention of nickelOzone. nickelOzone was a short-lived hour-long programming block that ran on Nickelodeon from 1998 to 2000. Suppose this little cereal stunt was a means of promoting their new block? That might be even easier to figure out than the Gatorade puzzle.

Online sources say that nickelOzone played from Sunday to Friday (sorry, Saturday fans) from 8 PM to 9 PM, and was aimed towards an older, preteen audience. I’m not really sure about that though, since it seemed to just play shows from Nick’s usual lineup anyway, like Hey Arnold! for example.

Maybe checking out the bumper that would play to start off the block will shed some light on things.

… Nope, guess not.

Also no, I'm not going to say anything about the three-legged freak boy in the ad. Stop asking.

Gotta say, they’re already really selling me on the summer vibes. I appreciate using stuff like kayaking and carnivals to represent summer fun as opposed to the usual beach iconography. I don’t appreciate the closeup dog mouth picture as much.

That one question about the interviews Nick Magazine conducts is a bit interesting though, because I’ve also wondered how they get all their short responses, like for these kinds of sections:

Kudos to R.L. Stine for looking exactly like you expect he would.

Did they just send out questions en masse via email or letters, and publish whatever responses they got in time? I wonder if some of the actors’ agents or PR people ever answered on behalf of their client with on-brand responses because the actors themselves were busy. I know they’re just one or two sentences, but I wouldn’t be surprised if big actors have people to take care of little promotional stuff like this, even if they’re about answering personal questions. What do you think?

Alright, here’s a better question: Am I overthinking this?

I would really love to speak to someone who won or went to the same school as someone who won one of these kinds of giveaways. Y’know, one of these types where you win a party for your class or have a popular band come and do a concert in the gymnasium. That kind of thing. I wonder how they go about planning and executing that sort of operation. What if the school just says no? Maybe they just dump the prizes at your house.

I can’t say I expected something quite so pleasant out of a Nickelodeon Magazine, but I like it! I’d also like to give some appreciation to the late Joan Steiner and her series of Look-Alikes books for giving me my next aesthetic to obsess over. Oh, to be a little guy living in a world made of snacks and knick-knacks without a care in the world…

If you find the world of Look-Alikes as lovely as I do and want to see more, you can borrow it from the Internet Archive.

Now even if it is just a s’more turned green, this still is a cute way to personalize a famous summer snack. I mean, just take a look at these satisfied customers! 

(Ask your doctor if you think soggy green marshmallows are the right choice for your summer camping trips.)

Some of you might be familiar with this ad’s TV commercial counterpart, but Nick Mag readers were also obliged to find Banjo-Kazooie’s magic puzzle piece hiding in their grocery store’s usual Keebler goods. I find the choice to portray Banjo & Kazooie as mute, 3D freaks in a 2D world a little odd. Did they think kids wouldn’t understand the game was 3D if Banjo was illustrated, or something?

If you were even thinking about becoming your school’s #1 cool kid, you better do your research in amassing the components necessary to complete the Rugrats style. This is so crucial, Nickelodeon was even kind enough to give 500 kids the chance to snag chic baby merchandise to secure their high-end societal status. Oh yeah, the $10,000 grand prize is neat too, I guess. 

Excuse the weird aspect ratio, I had to edit the page slightly to make everything look neat for the picture.

In addition to gag product labels, Nick Magazine also used to be in the business of gag postcards. Ain’t that just the bee’s knees? I don’t recall Nick printing many of these back when I started reading in the 2000’s (I mean c’mon, postcards? Instant message me when they start printing gag emails, grandpa), which is unfortunate. I might’ve gotten more use out of these than a fake label for dental floss. There were very few times as a child where my friends were in close vicinity to dental floss, but they definitely all had mailboxes!

Jeez, what is this, the giveaway issue? Sorry Arnold, but I already just spent hours convincing my Mom to search for Banjo-Kazooie's magic puzzle piece and apply for a lifetime's supply of Rugrats pencils. Just be happy I bought your 3-foot long poster and move along!

Ah, is there any other activity more tried-and-true than the ever-popular maze? Between activity books and restaurant kids’ menus I think they may be more common than the word search at this point.

Interestingly, when also considering the Look-Alikes pages, I’m surprised by how straightforward this magazine is when it comes to crediting the artists of these activities (and with big, bold, differently-colored text, no less). Back when I was checking out issue #115 I had to head to the back of the book just to find some proper attributions! I wonder what changed between 1998 and 2005?

Speaking of which, Rodica Prato is still active in the industry to this day! You can find a lot of her works on her Instagram. She does tons of large, natural landscapes in a style very similar to this page here, give her a look!

Another Comic Book, coming up! I’ve actually got a lot to say about this one cause-

Oh, uh, I’m sorry! It seems I accidentally skipped an interview. Usually they don't make 'em as small as this… Hm, this is awkward…

Seriously, what's with the shortchange? Did they want to get Chevy Chase and when that fell through interviewing Beverly D'Angelo was Plan B? Sorry you weren't deemed full page material, Mrs. Griswold.

Alright, sorry, where were we? Right, let’s take a look at the Comic Book for this issue.

Starting us off, I actually got a lot of laughs out of the “Prankvertisement” on the left page, maybe the most I’ve laughed at any Nick Mag content since starting this blog! Convincing someone they mathematically don’t exist and having them immediately fade away, unable to even find a hole in the formula is so funny in such a ridiculous way to me. 

Also, I tried the activity on the right page. It’s kind of a fun idea, but it made me dizzy. I recommend it to anyone reading who might be deserving of such a fate.

Finally, another history lesson opportunity! The Southern Fried Fugitives was one of Nick Magazine’s first ongoing comics, and was pretty synonymous with the mag’s brand during their publication. It had been canceled sometime before the 2000’s, and while it's personally not the most appealing to me, I can see how its art and wacky premise factored into its longevity.

Eagle-eyed readers might have already spotted these strips underneath some of the pages. Like the similarly formatted Impy & Wormer, these are short gags slotted in the bottom of each page of the Comic Book in what’s probably the most effective use of empty space since that ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal. There’s more than what’s in my picture, but they all also follow the “[Thing] who is always stuck 10 seconds in the future” setup, so take a look if you’re really dying for more of those. 

These strips come from famous American illustrator Tony Millionaire, who’s probably most well-known for his Sock Monkey series of children’s books and the comic strip Maakies. He’s worked with DC & Marvel, done art for a They Might Be Giants album, and has produced a veritable mountain of independent work. On the Nickelodeon side of things, he recently did work on Boom! Studios’ Rocko’s Modern Life series of comic books. You can find him and his stunning work on Instagram.

So, after passing another edition of Scene but Not Heard and a short n’ sweet CatDog comic I haven’t got much to say on, we come across… Hey, I remember these guys! Funky & Miriam’s House of Random Words was a sort of comic/activity hybrid where readers were challenged to guess the right definition of the word the characters were using. These are fun! And they make a vocabulary virtuoso such as myself feel smart, in spite of the fact I’m reading a magazine for children.

Odd thing to end off the Comic Book with, don’t you think? Unless it ended earlier? I can never tell since they don’t actually say when the Comic Book is over, exactly. Anyway, I know how this sounds, but I would really appreciate some citations here! How can we be so sure that “monster obstacles” in minigolf only really started in the 1950s? 

Hm?

Really making kids put the work in here, huh? I feel like this might be one too many mazes above the average reader’s paygrade. Good thing kids can just turn the page or you would've severely handicapped your marketing.

Pages edited to show both the back and front.

This is a pretty fun idea for a prank, and I know as a kid I would’ve appreciated some way to liven up the road trip experience. A gag newspaper would’ve done the trick! Well, it sounds good on paper, but maybe not magazine paper. Yeah I feel like the crinkly texture of plastic-y paper might give away this one-page periodical as a phony before the prankee gets the chance to read it. Unfortunate, but what can you do? Statistically this prank must’ve worked at least one time.

Alright, I can usually handle Nickelodeon’s slime-based image and all the drippings that have come with it, but this actually makes me want to gag. The idea of cracking through the cold, hard exterior of a popsicle and unearthing a filling of thick, syrupy slop underneath is not really my idea of a good time. A quick look-up shows that these things do indeed have their fans, so maybe I’m missing grout- er, uh, missing out.

We’ve got our calendar for the issue here, and while I’m still not impressed by the calendar’s comedy, I do appreciate the wide variety of fun facts and celebrity birthdays. This is just another way for kids to gain little random pieces of knowledge, and I’m all for it! Kids love finding out random facts, it's like the fun version of learning.

This is a pretty good tutorial, and it actually teaches some important drawing tips, like breaking down figures into shapes and making outlines and temporary lines for guidance. Yeah it’s basic, but for a young audience, I give it a thumbs-up. Just like Arnold.

Oh, wow. This is genuinely some history in the making! It’s interesting to see the likes of The Fairly Oddparents and ChalkZone being mentioned before they and their creators became such hot topics. For those unfamiliar or forgetful, Oh Yeah! Cartoons was a Nickelodeon show that premiered in 1998. It was an anthology of sorts, with each episode featuring a couple of short cartoons created by various filmmakers in the industry. It ran for three years, spanning a total of 34 episodes, and like those other two shows I mentioned, it was where My Life as a Teenage Robot got its start. Cartoon Network had tried a similar format a couple years before Oh Yeah! Cartoons, with its own anthology show What a Cartoon!. That show gave us Dexter’s Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, Johnny Bravo, among others. Both shows were fantastic means of creating tons of new, varied content and spawning shows that are still beloved to this day. 

So yeah, needless to say, can we get another one of these kinds of shows, please? There’s only so many more reboots you can make, right? Right?

Time to wrap things up, and we’ve got the usual last-minute ads and gags, but I do want to talk about Hey, Herb!. This was a section where readers could write in to then-Nickelodeon president Herb Scannell and ask their burning questions. As you can probably tell though, the audience of elementary school kids reading Nickelodeon Magazine usually weren’t very sure on what to ask. So these sections tend to be pretty small. As Nickelodeon’s fourth president, Scannell oversaw the release of some of Nick’s most popular shows, including Spongebob Squarepants, Danny Phantom, and Avatar: The Last Airbender during his ten-year long stint. I’d love to ask him what that was like, but seeing as how this was before all that, I guess these are pretty good questions too. (He does kind of look like Jimmy Smits).

And with that, we put a lid on another rip-roaring edition of Nickelodeon Magazine. As per usual, I didn’t get to everything in the issue, just the stuff I had things to say about. Honorable mentions for this issue include some gag flyers for fake tourists traps (to go along with the gag truckstop newspaper), and the previously mentioned CatDog and Scene but Not Heard comics. KABLAM! fans might also be interested in checking out page #58 which includes an interview with Stephen Holman, the creator of the show’s recurring Life with Loopy segment.

In other news, Nickelodeon just celebrated its 44th anniversary two days ago! So, why didn’t I post this NMH then instead of today? Well… it was April Fool’s Day too, wasn’t it? Uh, April Fool’s?

That’s all the fun in the sun we've got for now. Enjoy spring while you've still got it, 'cause summer will be here before you know it! Have fun, and until next time, keep on reading!

[blacksgarden]

how hare you doing luv? I hope your doing good and life is working well for ya. I have wanted to know about your writing for some time and would you be open to show me some of it? You can just send me a massage if you don't want everyone to see it.

Anyways here's a flower 'couse you are one and you make everyone smile.💐😁

Can you see the Bee in the flower?

Love you❤️💐❤️

Hello, lovely!!! I've missed you so much! I've been doing quite well, thank you for asking 😁 How have you been? Any new paintings? Or pieces of writing? I've been reading some of your works and honestly luv, you're English has been improving a lot. Be proud of that, because I certainly am. Learning a language is not easy, yet you make it look so easy. Been missing Tumblr so I'll be be more online 👀

I've already posted a little snippet a while ago of my writing. It's here if you'd like to check it out. Although... I have woken one morning with a really good idea for a plot and I could write it out post that.

You make me blush with your compliments, luv. 🙈 Also, I LOVE that flower and yes I can see the little bee! What flower is that? It's really pretty but I've never seen it before. Prolly because it's too hot where I live. Your camera quality is top tier, I'm almost jealous! Don't worry, I don't mean that in a bad way.

I saw your comment on my birthday post and since you wanted to know all about it, I've decided to tell you all about it on here.

Thank you for the wish!! My birthday is on the 11th of June and I didn't really tell anyone because I didn't want to seem attention seeking, in a way... I don't know, I was overthinking and now you missed my birthday 😭 I'm sorry, luv. At least now, we both know each other's birthdays and won't miss. If I remember correctly you share the same birthday as James Potter, correct? Was it the 27th of March?

You're so sweet that you wanted to bake me a cake and and sing me a song even if I'm not there physically 💛 On the day itself, it was quite a chill day. Just a nice dinner with family. It was a weekday so people were busy which was fair. The next day we went to a little farm that I went as a child to, so it was sort of hilarious to compare the pictures taken then and now. The time that has passed was crazy I tell you. I could share some of the pictures I took of the animals there, if you'd like. Though I must warn you that my camera is not as clear as yours is 😭

Then on the 27th we celebrated it properly with my friends and it was so fun! It had been quite a while seen I last saw them and we were all very happy to meet up again. We played pool, had a nice dinner then went out for a little walk before deciding to rent two golf carts to drive around the area. Overall it was a really fun night, and an even more memorable birthday.

The gifts I received were extremely thoughtful and lovely. My mum got me a bouquet of flowers, my dad paid for the dinner, and my friends got me a variety of things that were very considerate. Got a whale plushie, a little small 3d resin frame I'm supposed to paint myself, an adorable flask, a Harry Potter music box (I still play with it for fun once in a while, it just makes me feel so giddy!), a bracelet with a crocheted bouquet of flowers... Though my favourite part was to read the little cards and letters I got because it just means a lot to me. To see their writing and how they genuinely care about me, especially my girls. Just love them so much.

That's all from my side. I'll be sending you an ask in return to check up on you 😆 Thank you for your asks as always because I just love replying to them. I just love talking to you in general because you're such a wonderful person who manages to lighten people's day. 💛

[ghoulfr13nd]

hihi! just remembered a question that i had for the longest time but i think i haven't asked till now? so i'm just popping in to actually ask before i forget! fgsdkfj it's about names in angel and demon's cultures! on mac's and ves' playlist there is description of (i think?) latin words: dives and macto, but you only refer to them by Ves and Mac, so i'm wondering! are those their names or some sort of a nickname? and since both of them are supernatural beings that have three letters taken from a latin word as their name then is it like- demons and angels' naming rule? like homestuck troll's rule of having 6 letters in their names? do these 3 letters always have to be from a latin word? also! do angels and demons pick their own names or are they given? im really fascinated and also i wonder if i'm overthinking this fgsdjf

(hope you're doing well, hugs!)

music anon 🎶

you give me too much credit 😭 i am in fact just absolutely terrible at names (animals, objects, people [myself], characters, etc) and so my go-to naming methods are “well whats a quality of this character in latin” or “whats a plant with matching symbolism”

that being said, i do have *some* thought put into it! Ves and Mac are both nicknames for Dives and Macto. i started with Ves waaay back in the day (i’m talkin like, high school) and when i found the word Macto it just felt perfect!

to me, their names sort of a reflection of their power. i’ve played around with some cool ideas regarding this but i think i might keep that under wraps for now in case i DO end up writing something!!

in any case, in my head, Heaven and Hell are essentially just two sides of the same coin, and function as separate kingdoms with their own aristocracy. Angels and demons both are born with their names. They don’t usually have childhoods. Ves does have one, because her father was a human. Her mixed background makes it so she ages, but her growth pattern is sort of skewed. She’s taken a little longer to age than her human counterparts, and she sort of plateaus in her 20s. She’s invulnerable to things that would kill most humans, but celestial energy can hurt her.

Ves is The Daughter of Hell and sort of resents it. She misses her dad a lot. She’s particularly lucky when it comes to getting cash (she tends to run some minor scams on God’s less pleasant followers) and at her best, she enjoys the finer things in life.

Angels are sort of God’s pawns. Mac is being used by him. I think God is a little afraid of her. You know how in Greek tragedies, they’ll receive a premonition from a Seer, and as they do as much as they can to prevent the predicted events from unfolding, they actually push towards it? that’s sort of the deal here.

i really appreciate all of your questions!! they make me so happy and they help me really get my brain goin! 🥺

[nugqueensmind]

I am so sick and tired of being treated this way - now that you're in my life - I see that people have been treating me like shiiiiiit. You're genuinely the only person who treats me with love and respect.

Another lunch service - another fight with chef - I should seriously take myself off lunch shifts & work dinners - chefs ain't awake for lunch let me tell you - I got called a stupid bitch - for what?! - for not telling the chef exactly what the tips were from the table - all I said was "you'll see later in the jar or in your envelope." And I got "you're so moody - stupid bitch" Like fuck - why did you have to know the specific amount then and there - why am I a bitch for fucking not telling you the amount straight away. I just don't get it. I'm so sick and tired of this petty small bullshit. Then - next time I come into the kitchen you act like you didn't just call me a bitch - like i said in my last post - toxic environment.

At least when we fight - if we fight - it's not about petty shit - we don't call each other names - usually I've noticed our fights are about things like my overthinking - your overthinking - usually my overthinking - her - or again, my overthinking. And we don't really get pissed - we genuinely just want to make the other person feel better. I miss you. I miss you whenever you're asleep. I love you. I love how happy you make me. How you fill my whole heart with joy - my whole body with happiness - how you excite me - maaaaaannnnnyyyy times during a day - how you light up my world - how conversations just flow with you so naturally - from one conversation to the next, sometimes two or three conversations intertwined. I love it. Again - I love you. You're so alluring; ambitious, blissful, charming, determined;delightful;dominant, emphatic, funny; fair; family-oriented, generous, handsome, intellectual, juicy; jealous, kind, loving, mindful; mature; magical, naughty, observant; optimistic; one-of-a-kind, passionate, quaint, romantic, strong; smart; sweet; sexy; sleek - special, trusting, unbelievable, vigorous; vibrant, warm-hearted, xenial, youthful; yummy & zealous. You're everything I've ever wanted and more without even realizing. Wow I really just gave you a compliment to every letter of the alphabet - oddly enough I didn't even realize I was doing it until about letter f - fuck - here my mind goes again - wondering about all the things - back on topic - comn.

You're amazing. I hope you know that - and I'm so grateful for that phone call we had 2 nights ago - I can't get it out of my mind - every second of that 1,5hour call - which felt like 30minutes - you say 40 but it felt like less to me - time went by so quick with you. I loved every second of it - from the random pauses because we're both just smiling on the other end of the call - to you having to go nervous pee - to the I love you's - to the special moment we had together - to talking about everything and anything - to hearing you moan. God, I love you. I'm so grateful for our conversation last night and this morning. I genuinely feel your love more than ever before. Like there's an actual chance - for us - that you'll actually leave her. Honestly this is the first time I actually believe you might. That I might actually be your number one. Thank you. Thank you for the endless nights talking - the beautiful mornings - the spams of snaps & messages when I'm asleep to make me feel like I'm on your mind or even with you - for loving me - for making me smile. Just, thank you.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i might make tater tots... but i need to work on [redacted] and [redacted]’s letters... but i want to write joe with depression angst... but i want to curl up in my bed and hibernate...

[pen-observing]

Hi! If you will have any inspiration about this

What do you think would be little things that brothers would bring you as courting you? As like birds or penguins with rocks and sticks?

Thank you 💜

sjdaj this was fun! i did have an image of lucifer bringing feathers as a meme in my mind for a sec

what the brothers bring you while courting you/wanting to impress you:

Lucifer:

He is what many would consider to be a classic idea of a man. Tall, dark, handsome with refined taste. Because of this he tries to be refined in what he brings you as well. Why should you two not share such traits?

Lucifer because of this relies on the extravagant, classic choices. Most of all – jewelry.

Rings, necklaces, bracelets – everything he sees while out on an errand that catches his eye.

He also tries to match some items with you. He has a golden pen, why shouldn’t you have one as well?

However, one thing that gets in his way is that: no matter how strong his impulse to buy or obtain rare jewels is – he cannot always give them to you.

He overthinks it.

‘if I give them two rings two weeks in a row, would that be too much? Would they then spend money to buy an outfit that matches it? Would the gifts lose their meaning if I don’t space them out? If I continue to give them so many gifts, they would feel responsible to return them so they would spend more money on me and we both know that I am the one who has more money so--’

All these thoughts come to him. Sometimes Lucifer even thinks that your pride would be hurt if he gives you jewels so often.

He tries not to go overboard but he knows that there is a whole desk drawer of little boxes just waiting for the right time to go to you.

Mammon:

No matter how much Mammon may chase gold and sparkles – he is no Lucifer and there is no way that he can just rely on jewels.

Sure, on very special occasions he manages to surprise you with them and that does make it more meaningful.

Mammon puts aside everything else and actually gets a job whenever your birthday is close.

So what else could be bring you?

He is well aware of how birds bring branches or rocks – how sometimes they even spend so much time flying high above and continuously dropping walnuts for others on the road until they crack. His approach is similar.

When you have issues or need to open something – he always offers himself.

It is a bit silly but being there for someone counts.

Besides this – every trinket that he sees somehow ends up in your room

Plushies, fun masks, nail polish that matches his, a leaf that fell in his hair while he was sleeping under a tree and dreamt of you.

He also brings postcards, magazines, photos you might enjoy.

Once he brought you a heart shaped stone and bragged about how his keen eye managed to observe it in the clean river!

Something in every corner of your room will be adjacent to him.

“What if I brought you branches?” “What?” “Nothing!”

He just wanted to ask!

Leviathan:

Lucifer is impulsive in buying just one thing, Levi, however, is impulsive all around.

And that impulsivity goes in many directions.

He is able to use and calculate all his Akuzon points to make sure that you get 10 products instead of just 1.

He takes it very, very seriously.

Sometimes he buys you way too many snacks, other times he orders 5 costumes

Often his courting relies on the thought; what if we shared this!

His mind says that the more you have in common the better match you are.

This is why he brings matching keychains or slippers or even computer backgrounds and mousepads.

He still knows that ‘matching’ does not fully count but it really warms his heart when he sees that you are willing to share and indulge in those small things that would not really matter to others.

It gives him a confidence boost and reassures him that you are in fact open to him.

However, something still has to be yours alone.

Yours alone, from his hands and he needs to make sure of that.

Levi does bring you pearls like penguins do.

And he did in fact spend a long time underwater making sure he brings the best ones.

Just... never show him the video that trended of a female penguin cheating on her partner in the human world.

Satan:

Satan, no matter how much he tries to deny it, is in many ways similar to Lucifer.

He might dress the way he does but he tries to be a classic gentleman in this regard.

He does bring jewelry too – however he never brings it without a deeper, more profound reason.

‘so what if this ring is rare? What does it matter to them? Nothing.’

He has to hear you say it is very pretty to give it to you.

The necklace needs to remind him of your eyes or he is not buying it at all.

Because of this – he is very picky so few gifts are of this nature.

What else does he bring?

Satan writes you notes all the time.

Sometimes they are there to remind you of water or meals, other times they are short quotes.

In fact, he brings you annotated books; lines that remind him of you; quotes of feelings he knows thanks to you.

He brings you parts of himself and looks for parts of you in everything.

This is his idea of courting.

And don’t be surprised to get letters (wax made by him) under your door even if you live close by.

Asmodeus:

Unlike the others, Asmo has no problems with giving you whatever his own impulse says to.

Why should he hide these 2 perfumes that he bought thinking of you and wait for 3 weeks to present them to you?

No, do it right then and there because your heart felt the love or do not do it at all!

Because of this, his impulse costs a lot. Only second to Lucifer.

Asmo wants to give you luxurious things but he knows that jewelry alone can get boring rather fast and is limited by time and fashion and practicality etc.

So he gives you luxury in everything.

New lines of fragrance are yours as well as his, new skin care products that few humans can buy just show up at your door.

Does he also give you framed photos of him? Yes

Does he give you best silk? Also yes.

Why should the two of you not enjoy these things? You deserve it after all.

Still, Asmo is very sentimental too.

He gifts you photo albums of things that make him feel so. Memories of trips and walks; of sleepovers and quiet nights as well.

Yes, luxury is there but this small pretty pen is cheap and has hearts on it! He simply has to give it to you!

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub knows the ‘proper’, ‘correct’ or expected ways to court someone.

He knows what gifts others give and why.

But, all of that seems slightly...like vanity or showing off to him.

It just wouldn’t feel right to give you a framed work of art or color stones that glimmer if it does not really awake something.

His gifts are as gentle as him.

Yes, food is the most obvious choice but he really does worry if you are eating well because humans are fragile.

Flowers that he sees in shops or on walks.

While once walking with Luke he saw some and said how pretty they would look on you. Luke taught him to make flower crowns for that reason.

Most of his gifts are handmade.

He wants to help you on his own no matter what.

The most consistent gifts however are those that you said you needed.

Doesn’t matter when you said it or how, maybe it was just a passing thought, but he remembers and he gets them for you.

Belphegor:

it wouldn’t be wrong to say that he manages to mix up all of these ways and refuses to settle down on just one type.

This is because he is similar to Beel.

Beel gives you thinks you said you needed; Belphie gives you those you did not even notice.

He is constantly observing you and being as smart as he is – nothing escapes him.

You don’t have to complain how you grew bored of your boots or how annoying those headphones are.

He just notices it and gives you new ones.

Sometimes he looks at you during a party in Diavolo’s castle and things that a necklace is missing and would actually be useful in the future as well; so, he buys it.

Books for assignments you are not aware you will need next year find their way to your table. Yes, it is a year but he is a published Devildom scholar so trust him with this.

Paintings, matching rings with stars, a keychain of some small alien from a human TV show etc.

He treads the lines of outlandish with luxury and simple.

Seeing you surprised no matter what because you never mentioned these things always brings him joy.

a/n: how tf do you spell jewelry is it this or jewellery or i hate his word pls

[p-taryn-dactyl]

Just Another Name (2)

a/n: hi!! i am so sorry for how long this took me to post, tbh i was a little hesitant to even write it bc the first part got so popular and i don’t want the second part to flop lol. anyways, here’s what happened next! word count: 1.4k taglist: @coolbeans32 @mierloi @thesteellolo @yoursuckerbaby @theamchannel @marvelouslovely-barnes @dreamerglassesgirl (if i did not tag you and you requested to be tagged, plz message me so i can add you! also if i tagged you and either you no longer want to be tagged or your url didn’t work plz message me as well!! <3 warning(s): angsty at the beginning; i rushed at the end im sorry; ik we aren’t really supposed to add personal things to Y/N but in this fic, Y/N’s favorite flowers are dahlias bc they’re my favorite flower; time skip…hehe ik I’m evil; also, this isn’t as good as the first part

It had been a month since you opened the journal. Since you read those dreaded pages. A month filled with looking over your shoulder, tear-stained pillows, and staring at your phone, watching as the screen lit up with each call, each message, each voice mail.

Sometimes you allowed yourself to listen to the messages, allowed your heart to swell at the sound of your boyfr- ex’s voice. Allowed your heart to shatter once you came back to reality. Today was one of those days. You sighed, poking at your microwave dinner as you maneuvered through the tiny apartment you were renting under a fake name. Being in love with an Avenger ex-con had it perks. You picked up your phone as you collapsed on the saggy couch, tapping it against your thigh as you tried to talk yourself out of listening to the voice mail. You couldn’t. Biting your lip, you unlocked your phone and opened the message. It started out silent, with slight sounds of someone trying not to cry in the background. Then, his voice spoke, sending unwanted warmth through your bones. His words made you pause, fork halfway to your mouth.

“….I started sleeping on the floor again. It’s so hard to sleep without you next to me bab- Y/N. Oh, god I miss you so much. Please call me back, I’m sorry, you mean so much to me. Nothing about us was ever a lie, you were the only- you are the only true thing in my life. Please answer me doll, I can’t-” He choked on a sob, sending cracks through your heart, ”I can’t do anything without knowing where you are, if you’re okay, if you’re even getting these. Please baby, I’m sorr-”

Quickly, you ended the message, hesitating as your finger hovered over the delete icon. Your hands began to shake as sobs built up. With a loud cry, you threw your phone at the wall, watching as it bounced onto the carpet, unharmed. You pulled your knees up to your chest, tossing your sorry excuse for a dinner to the floor, rocking back and forth as tears fell down your cheeks, staining your sweatshirt with pain. In the month you had been away, you had come to understand Bucky’s point of view but insecurity chipped away at your consciousness.

You knew Bucky loved you, you knew you weren’t something he used to get rid of guilt but you also knew he only approached you because your brothers name was on his list. Your relationship was born of Bucky’s guilt but it only survived because you two were in love.

But what if you went back to Bucky and he realized you weren’t special? That he made a mistake. That you were just another name.

Your head, heavy from crying and overthinking, lolled to the side, resting on your elbow as you were dragged into a dark and dreamless sleep.

—————————————————————————————————

Bucky stood outside your door, a bouquet of dahlias in his hand. He hesitated when he went to knock, nerves sparking panic across his mind.

What if you had moved on? Found someone who wouldn’t break your heart and lie to you?

His heart broke at the thought but he calmed his mind, gently setting the array of flowers in front of your door, a letter with his handwriting scribbled across it delicately balancing on the petals. He took a deep breath, bringing his hand up to quickly rap his knuckles on the peeling paint of your door. After a few seconds, Bucky walked away, almost down the hall when he heard your door unlock. He practically jumped out of his skin as he hurried to the end of the hall, where he hid behind the corner.

“What the…?” Your voice, soft from sleep, resonated through the air, like a warm hug coming to a stiff and cold end. He heard the flowers being picked up, he could’ve sworn he heard your laugh. But when your door closed, Bucky sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

His plan was going to work, he told himself.

It had too.

—————————————————————————————————

You brushed your fingers lightly across the petals, the dark hue feeling like fine cloth. You tried your best to ignore the note, his handwriting practically calling out to you. Emotions bubbled up in you, causing you to be confused, ecstatic, and fearful all at once. Not less than two hours ago you were crying over a voicemail and now you were giggling over a bouquet. Slowly, you grabbed the note, reading it, each word sending butterflies ablaze in your stomach.

Hi Doll, I was thinking (I know, shocker)

You laughed, nights of teasing Bucky after a dumb decision flashing through your mind.

Maybe we could start over? I’ll be at that little cafe/bookstore across the road from 7–9.

I can’t live without you, Y/N, but I understand if I already broke my chance

You bit your lip, holding the card close to your chest as you twirled around.

A redo.

That could work. A relationship founded on candlelight memories and laughter instead of guilt. You checked the time, your heart beating rapidly as the clock said 5:45. You had enough time to make yourself look presentable.

—————————————————————————————————

After an hour of rushing around the apartment, trying outfits on left and right, yelling when one you had perfectly crafted in your mind didn’t work out, you finally were ready. You looked in the mirror, brushing your hands down your dress, admiring how you looked. When you checked the clock and saw it said 6:45, you realized you could leave now and be at the cafe in fifteen minutes. But as your hand hit the handle, about to open your door, a thought struck you. Showing up right at 7 would make you look desperate, which you were, but Bucky didn’t have to know that. So, in an attempt to still show up on time while waiting for a bit, you sat back on your couch.

Thirty minutes passed and you had determined that there were at least over forty bricks in your wall. The clock strikes 7:15 and you bolted off your couch, practically bursting your door down in your excitement. You dashed through the apartment building, your heart racing. Mostly because you were running but also because of the excitement coursing through your veins. You slowed down once you saw the cafe, the giant windows revealing Bucky, who was anxiously rearranging the placement at the table, shaking his leg, and looking at the clock. You felt love spring from your heart, practically floating until you reached the cafe door. After taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open. Bucky stood up, his whole face lighting up when he saw you. You made your way to the table, watching as his happy expression morphed into an apologetic one. But before he could start apologizing for past sins and shattering the golden atmosphere they had created, you spoke first.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

Bucky smiled, gesturing towards the chair. You took a seat, butterflies practically going wild in your stomach. Bucky sat across from you, the golden rays of last sunlight casting a glow over him. For a few minutes, there was silence.

“So…”

“So…”

You both spoke at the same time, causing an eruption of giggles from the two of you. Bucky nodded, giving you the air to speak.

“A redo, huh? No hidden meanings in our relationship this time?”

Bucky swallowed, his eyes apologizing while he smiled, hoping you would agree. Just because you showed up for him didn’t mean you would leave his again.

“A redo.”

You nodded, pursing your lips together as you looked down at your lap. Bucky felt his chest go tight and his breath quicken. But when you looked up, all he could see was the love shining brightly.

You held out a hand.

“Well then. Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief as a giant smile painted his face. He clasped your hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin.

“I’m Bucky, nice to meet you Y/N. Now tell me, what’s a beautiful place like this doing with a girl like you?”

Silence.

“Wait no-”

The rest of the night was filed with laughter, tears, but most importantly, hope.

Bucky made a promise to himself that night, as he sat on the edge of the bed, watching your chest rise and fall in peaceful slumber.

You would never feel insignificant again by his actions and as he fiddled with the little box in his hands, he was certain he would make sure that never again would you think of being just another name.

a/n: ahhh ok there it is. i rewrote this like twenty times but i hope you guys still enjoyed it! If you are interested in little drabbles set in this “universe” feel free to request them! I’m sorry if this is a let down for some of you but tbh i don’t think i ever truly planned on writing a pt2 until people started asking for it! I love you guys, stay safe and drink lots of water <3

[j0hnj4ej3n]

wherever you are, i will be too

Word count: 7k

Warning: slight angst if you squint, slightly suggestive if you squint, y/n overthinking a little bit, nothing else that I am aware of but do let me know if i missed out anything~

Note: happy 2 year anniversary to 'the more you know, the harder you fall' !! Here's the second part to this TRILOGY :) yes, i went insane and decided that this would be a three-part piece since it got so much love <3 the last part to the trilogy will be up real soon, I am just finishing up the final parts hehe

you can read the first part here! i hope you all like this continuation from 'the more you know, the harder you fall' where Jaehyun and y/n continue to grow and share life together <3

The hallways of school adorned the thick, bolded letters that read “SENIOR PROM”, “Buy your tickets now” and “Don’t miss out on the best night of your life!”. The Prom Committee really outdone themselves this year. With Senior Prom just a little more than one week away, the student body has witnessed more than a handful of extravagant promposals. You would usually clap and cheer along with the rest of the students that have gathered around the couple. 

Since you were a little girl, you always dreamt of your Senior Prom. But reality always seems to unfold in ways you least expect. 

Jaehyun, who you now call your boyfriend, was over for dinner at your place last week. It wasn’t for any special reason, you two were neighbours which gave you guys the luxury of always being together even till late at night. Your relationship with Jaehyun was going extremely well. He was your best friend and your boyfriend. Sure, things between the two of you didn’t start off great. But now, you cannot even begin to imagine life without him. 

After dinner, the two of you were lounging on your bed, the study notes and textbooks on your table long forgotten. You were lying on your back facing Jaehyun as he hovered over you, running his fingers gently through your hair. 

“So…I’ve been thinking about something,” he begins as he propped himself up, sitting cross-legged now, still facing you. 

You mirrored his actions and sat up, waiting for him to continue. 

“You know how prom is coming up?” He asks and you nod your head, already anticipating for him to ask you. You never expected a large-scale promposal, you appreciated your privacy with Jaehyun more than any extravagant promposal. 

“We should skip it.” 

You couldn’t help the frown that appeared on your face. What does he mean by skipping it? So you ask him. 

“It’s the weekend after our finals and it’s the last weekend we get to be together before graduation. My cousin has this really wonderful holiday beach house that I thought we could go to, just the two of us. And I know Senior Prom is like this huge thing and we could still go if you really want to. But I just thought that we co-” 

“Okay. Let’s do that,” you interrupted Jaehyun with a smile. You and Jaehyun knew your future together was going to be uncertain. The both of you had different goals and different dream colleges you wanted to attend. So every opportunity you get to just be alone together, you and Jaehyun would cling onto that. And if this was what Jaehyun wanted, then so be it. 

“Really?” Jaehyun asked, a bright smile forming on his pretty face, putting his dimples on full display. 

“Of course, it sounds fun! The sand and the waves…and you,” you said while holding his face in your hands. Jaehyun chuckled while he placed his hands over yours and pulled them down gently. His hands, holding your comparatively smaller ones. 

“You’re really okay with missing prom?” He asks, eyes never leaving yours to make sure you mean it. 

“Well, I’ve always wanted to go to Senior Prom and to be whisked away by the guy of my dreams,” you said cheekily while playing with his fingers in your hand. Then you continued, “But the guy of my dreams wants to go to the beach, and wherever you go, I’ll follow.” 

“Gross,” Jaehyun said in reply as he scrunches his nose, jokingly throwing your hands out of his. But the pink tips of his ears told the truth. You laughed at his reaction as you reached over to engulf him in a hug. Jaehyun quickly dropped his cousin a text to tell him his plan and soon, everything was set to go. 

Instead of Senior Prom, you and Jaehyun were going to have your very own prom on the beach, under the stars. And you already know that it’s going to be perfect. 

“Are you all packed baby?” Jaehyun asked as he entered your room on the night before Senior Prom. He was downstairs watching some thriller movie with your dad, while you came up to your room after dinner to finish up packing. 

“Almost, I don’t know which swimsuit to pack though. Do you want to choose for me?” You said as you placed your top three choices on your bed, spreaded out nicely so Jaehyun could examine them clearly. 

He rubs his fingers against his chin, eyes scanning the pieces on your bed and then back to you. 

“I think you’ll look good in all of them. This is hard.” 

You huffed and nudged him aside, “Okay, you’re not of much help Jae,” you said as you end up packing the one piece swimsuit and your favourite bikini into your bag. Leaving your newest piece behind for another time. 

“Now I’m done,” you said as you zipped up your luggage, patting it twice before you stood up, placing  your hands on your hips. Jaehyun came up to you and pulled you into his embrace, swaying side to side as he placed his chin on top of your head. You snuggle into his firm chest and take in the smell of his softener. 

“I’m sorry you’re going to miss Senior Prom,” Jaehyun starts only to be stopped by your frowning face looking up at him. 

“Don’t even start Jaehyun, I’m so excited for tomorrow. You have no idea,” you say as you give him an extra hard squeeze that has him letting out a suffocated groan. He lets you go and pats the side of your head, smoothing your hair out in the process. 

His hands then slide down as he cups your face gently, he looks at you with his usual loving gaze and you swear you’re melting inside. “Then, I’m glad. We’re going to have the best weekend of our lives!” Jaehyun tells you with the widest smile on his face before he leans in, kissing you softly and pulls away shortly after. 

He lets go of your face and ruffles your hair, not even giving you enough time to process the kiss before he carries your luggage down to load it in his car. You hold your hand over your chest and laugh to yourself once Jaehyun is out of sight. You are so in love with him, sometimes you don’t even know what to do with yourself. 

You roll your eyes for the third time that morning at your mum’s embarrassing tactics. You and Jaehyun are ready to leave since the two of you already loaded everything into the car last night. The two of you were all set to go after having breakfast with both your parents, but your mum insisted that you two take a nice picture together before leaving.

“Mum, please. We got to go!” You whined when your mum kept snapping shots of you and Jaehyun. Jaehyun just stands beside you, his hand holding your waist and smiling at the camera. “Come on honey, just smile nicely for one last picture. You’re talking in all of them, none of them are nice,” your mum says. 

Jaehyun tugs your waist gently, persuading you to just let your mum have her way. You sigh and smile while leaning your head on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Your mum continues to snap away and coos when Jaehyun places a chaste kiss on the top of your head. Once your mum is satisfied, she hugs the two of you goodbye and sees you off. You went over to give Jaehyun’s mum a hug goodbye as well while the two dads brief Jaehyun again on what to do if anything happens with the car on the drive to the beach house. 

You all said your final goodbyes for that weekend and finally drove out of your driveway. You can still see your parents waving enthusiastically in the rearview mirror. 

Here it goes, the best weekend of your life, with the love of your life. Jaehyun looks over at you briefly and you offer him a smile, he reaches a hand over and you interlock your fingers tightly. You place a quick kiss on the back of his hand before resting both your hands in your lap. Who cares about Senior Prom? You were with Jaehyun and that’s all that truly matters. 

The holiday beach house is absolutely beautiful. It resides just metres away from the beach, with a balcony that stretches out, overlooking the sea. It’s nothing short of a dream and you feel like a kid running about in this huge place, too excited to stay in one room for too long. 

Jaehyun was rolling your luggages in when you’re already out on the balcony, admiring the view. You feel the ocean breeze brush past your cheeks, the smell of the salty sea envelopes you and you feel so at ease. 

Your hair is fluttering gently against the breeze when you feel a familiar pair of arms circle around your waist. Jaehyun leans in to place a featherlight kiss on the side of your neck and you can feel his breath against your skin. 

“It’s so pretty here Jae, thank you for bringing me here. I love it already,” you tell him as you run your hands over his arm. He laughs and you can feel the vibration against your back, “I’m just glad you like it, baby.”

He kisses you briefly on the cheek, “But first, let’s go unpack and get dressed. We need to catch the sunset! Come on,” Jaehyun urged as he landed a light smack on your ass. You let out a gasp and trails behind him, excited for the evening he had plan for you two. 

You adorn a cute, baby blue sundress over your bikini, along with a bucket hat that Jaehyun got for you as a gift. Jaehyun on the other hand was wearing a white button down shirt with a pair of swim shorts. His film camera hung loosely around his neck. He had left the first two buttons undone, exposing his well-built chest for all to see. He suffered a whole lot of teasing from you before even leaving the beach house. It finally ended when he retorted with a smart, “Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” and left you flushing red. 

The two of you had a quick dinner by the beach before heading down to soak your feet in the water. You always loved the ocean, you admired the vast beauty of it. You enjoyed just watching as the water glistened under the sunlight and how the waves greets the shore. Always almost shyly at first, then all at once as the waves come up enough to submerge your feet in its coolness.  

You’re simply admiring the ocean when Jaehyun calls your name. You turned around  to look at him and was met with a flash. 

“Hey, I wasn’t ready!” You whined in protest, asking him to take another which he refused cheekily. You run up to him, ready to tackle his ass. You know for a fact that Jaehyun can outrun you any day. But he always lets you get him, secretly enjoying how you would wrap your arms around his neck almost in a chokehold. Only for him to swiftly lift you up and over his shoulder. Usually, he would dunk you lightly onto the closest soft surface, so you won’t actually get hurt (which meant one of your beds, or the sofa). But since there was nothing but the ocean in front of you, it only meant one thing. 

Jaehyun has an arm over the back of your thighs, holding your dress down to make sure everything important is covered and protected from the eyes of others. Then he started jogging towards the body of water, causing your bucket hat to fall onto the sand.

“Jung Jaehyun, don’t you dare. Put me down right now!” You shouted as you smacked his back continuously. He only laughs and lunges forward, tossing you into water that's shallow enough to get you slightly wet, since his film camera won’t survive the dip in the ocean. You pull yourself out of the water and free yourself from your sundress, wearing only your bikini now.

Then it begins, the chase, the intense, playful wrestling to get each other into the water. Jaehyun abandons his camera and his white button down shirt onto the sand, tossing them beside your abandoned hat and continues chasing you along the shore. You’re running as fast as you can, the tips of your hair already wet enough to stick to your skin. 

Jaehyun lifts you from behind as you let out a squeal, followed by ripples of laughter that’s music to Jaehyun’s ears. He tosses you yet again, deeper this time into the ocean. You push yourself back up to the surface when you see Jaehyun hobbling into the water to join you. The water is shallow enough for the two of you to stand without struggling but deep enough for you to swim in. 

Jaehyun swims towards you and he looks like a puppy kicking his way over to you and you can’t help but laugh. He embraces you and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, leaning them against his broad shoulders. He smells like the sea now, his has hair sticking to his forehead and you brush them back so it doesn’t bother his eyes. 

Your faces are inches apart and he can’t help but admire your features. Your wet hair, the water droplets that found their way onto your full cheeks doesn’t do anything to dampen your beauty. You’re literally glowing and he wishes he has his camera to capture this image in front of him. He loves how your eyes glisten against the setting sun. He loves the way you look at him, it makes him feel things he has never felt before. You’re the only person who has seen him both at his lowest and in his best. But the look in your eyes never changes. You love him and he doesn’t even need to hear you say it. Your eyes tell him enough and he could gaze into them forever. 

“Look Jae, the sun is setting,” you pointed towards the line where the sky meets the sea, the flaming semi-circle slowly greeting farewell as it continues to submerge itself into the water. The sky is an immaculate hue of orange and pink, Jaehyun pulls you closer to him in the water and the two of you watch in silence. Your hand slides down to his bare chest, feeling the light thumping of his heart against your palm. You lean your head against his shoulder and he squeezes the sides of your waist under the water. 

“It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” you tell Jaehyun, in awe of the sun setting before your very eyes. It’s not everyday you get to experience moments like this. You look over to Jaehyun who was already staring at you, “Yea, same here.” 

The two of you returned and washed up after the sun completely set and the moon adorned the star filled sky. The two of you were lying down on the balcony floor where the sky is in full view and the only sound that surrounds you two were of the waves crashing against the shore. 

Just then, you received a text from a close classmate of yours. 

8:13pm - *Eunha sent you an image*-

8:13pm - wish you were here girlie, we miss you! - 

You open the texts to see a few of your classmates dressed in long, glamorous gowns and you can’t help but smile. They all look so good and you know they were all so excited for prom, so you sent a quick text back. By this time, Jaehyun had leaned over to look at your phone that was hovering over both your heads. 

You decided to send a picture back too and asked Jaehyun to scoot closer so he could fit in the frame. 

8:15pm - you all look so good! girlslay -

8:15pm - miss you all too, have a blast! - 

8:16pm - *You sent a picture* - 

You got a reply back almost immediately from Eunha. 

8:17pm - alright lovebirds, you guys have fun too! See you on grad day - 

After that, you put your phone down and continued admiring the stars. That’s when Jaehyun suddenly got up and ran back into the house, jogging back with a black box in his hand that you recognised as his speaker. 

“What are you doing?” You asked him as you sat up. He promptly connected his phone to the speaker via bluetooth, the speaker coming to life with a beep. He opens the Spotify app and types something into the search bar. Soft, instrumental music begins to play from the speaker that’s stationed on the balcony floor. 

Jaehyun places his phone next to the speaker and stands up. Your eyes follow him and you’re met with an outstretched hand. You cock an eyebrow up at him, wondering what this is all about. 

“May I have this dance?” He asked with a cheeky grin on his face, his dimples that you love so much poking out. 

You chuckle at your boyfriend’s tactic and grab his hand, letting him pull you up from the floor. He pulls you in by the waist as your free hand rests against his shoulder. It was then you realised that the music that was playing was an instrumental version of “Can I Have This Dance?” from High School Musical 3. This elicits a laugh from you and Jaehyun can’t help but laugh along. 

He releases his grip on your waist and lifts his hand to help you twirl, then swiftly pulls you into his arms again. “We might not be at prom with everyone else, but I still wanted to fulfil your dreams of being whisked away on prom night,” Jaehyun whispers just loud enough for you to hear. 

You can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness. Jaehyun is the most precious person in your life, you wish you could stay like this forever. Swaying and twirling – dancing under the stars with the man you love, while your favourite High School Musical song plays in the background. 

The two of you dance like this, talking once in a while, exchanging soft kisses and laughing as Jaehyun twirls you one too many times on purpose. Only to catch you when your vision starts to blur. Pure joy ignites in your chest, you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world. Nothing, not even Senior Prom. 

You check your reflection one last time in the mirror before you grab your mortarboard hat from the edge of your bed and head downstairs where your parents, Jaehyun’s parents and Jaehyun were waiting for you. You actually had the audacity to wake up late today, you were too excited for today to fall asleep last night and hence, didn’t even hear your alarm in the morning. 

Your quick footsteps down the stairs caught your dad’s attention, causing him to jokingly announce your late arrival, exclaiming something along the lines of “Finally! The princess has arrived!” You loudly apologised for the long wait when you looked up from staring at the stairs to be met with Jaehyun’s round orbs. He’s smiling at you as you take the last few steps down the stairs and come to stand at his side. 

You’re wearing a simple white dress to complement the deep blue colour of your graduation gown and hat. Jaehyun’s dressed in a white dress shirt and long black pants, he looks stunning to say the least. He whispers a sweet, “You look so beautiful,” into your ear before both your parents begin with their mandatory photoshoot. 

Because of you, they only had a short 10 minutes to each take family photos individually and together and it felt like the most chaotic 10 minutes of your life. 

You feel like you’re experiencing a deja vu when your mum is in front of only you and Jaehyun now, snapping pictures. You cooperate this time because it’s a special day. You’re finally graduating highschool. With good grades as well, thanks to Jaehyun’s tutoring. Can you believe it? You actually scored an ‘A’ for Mathematics. Your mum was so happy she hugged Jaehyun so tightly as a thank you when she found out. 

Then in the middle of smiling for the picture, it daunts on you. You’re both graduating. And all the thoughts and doubts you pushed away while studying for finals came flooding in and your heart aches. Jaehyun turns his head to look at you when he notices your smile slowly fading. 

“Baby, are you okay?” 

Jaehyun snaps you out of your thoughts and you smile at him, nodding your head. “Oh, I’m good,” you tell him, pushing the negative thoughts out of your head. It’s your graduation day and you’re not going to let yourself ruin it. 

Your mum snaps a few more pictures and the two of you head to school separately with your parents. You’ll see each other after all is done for more pictures and a celebratory dinner, this short separation was nothing much. But on the car ride to school, your mind continues to wonder about the future and you feel the fear creeping up and tightening your chest. You almost want to cry but you remind yourself that you can’t ruin your makeup. You can leave all this for another time when graduation is over with and after you’ve closed this insane chapter of your life that is highschool. 

Hats are thrown and hugs are being exchanged. You have flowers from your parents and your yearbook in hand, you’re scurrying around to take pictures with your friends and bidding several farewells. You were just done taking pictures with Eunha when a loud cheer erupts from somewhere near you. Both your heads turn towards the noise. 

Low and behold, it was the basketball team. Graduates and non-graduates, all huddled together for a picture, with Jaehyun – their graduating captain – in the middle, holding their championship trophy. You smile as you watch the group of boys shout again as their parents and even the school photog team takes shots of them. Jaehyun kisses the trophy and raises it up, eliciting another roar of cheers from the boys behind him. 

“Jaehyun really is something, do you guys know if the East Eagles offered him a spot yet?” Eunha asked out of curiosity since everyone knows by now that the college renowned for their basketball team has scouted Jaehyun for a trial after their championship match. 

You shrugged, “No news yet, we’ll probably know soon though,” you tell Eunha and she nods in understanding. Soon the two of you carried on with conversations and went to take more pictures with the rest of your classmates. 

Even in a sea of people, Jaehyun was quick to find you. His height helped a bit since he can get a rather clear view of his surroundings. Plus, you were so captivating, it was almost too easy to spot you. 

He quickened his pace after bidding some of his teammates goodbye and rushed to your side. He taps your left shoulder, only to swerve to your right side quickly. When you turned and saw no one, you already knew that Jaehyun was behind it. So you landed a smack on his chest and he doubled over laughing. 

You got some of your friends to help the two of you take pictures, since you lost your parents while running around looking for your friends. Jaehyun passes his film camera to another one of your classmates to help capture some pictures too. Jaehyun walks back to you and holds your waist, pulling you closer to him. His actions almost causing your flowers to fall out of your hands. You smile and your friends won’t stop teasing you guys. The tips of Jaehyun’s ears are as pink as the flowers in your hand and it goes red as your friends start chanting “Kiss her! Kiss her!” 

You wave your hands to try and stop their nonsense, your face starting to turn pink as well. Out of nowhere, Jaehyun pulls you closer if that’s even possible and leans in. His lips clash into yours, and you let out a small squeal. Your friends cheered and ‘whoo’-ed as they continued to snap pictures of the two of you. You close your eyes, as Jaehyun deepened the kiss, his soft lips moving against yours. You ignore the fact that your hat has fallen off your head as you hold Jaehyun’s shoulder with your free hand to steady yourself. 

He finally pulls away, a bright smile adoring his face as you scrunch your nose, the feeling of shyness crawling up your neck again and flushing out as pink on your cheeks. Your friend returns you your phone and the pictures were ones you know you would keep and even frame up forever. 

This is it, the end of highschool. It was the craziest roller coaster ride of your life and you’re glad you’re walking out of it with Jaehyun. If there was one thing you were most grateful for, it would be forging a friendship with Jaehyun and falling in love with him. You felt like this was all a dream, and if it was you hope you never wake up. 

That night, both your families were over at Jaehyun’s for a celebratory dinner. Both your mums prepared a few dishes as Jaehyun and his dad barbecued meat on their front porch. The dinner went by as usual, this time however having a few toasts from your dad to celebrate your graduation. It was always a wonderful time when your families got together, you wished it could be like that forever. 

You and Jaehyun helped to clean up by doing the dishes, this time however, the collaboration went smoothly unlike when you were younger. Jaehyun would wash the dishes while you dried them and placed them on the rack. It was a team effort with no more bumping of shoulders and insults thrown at each other. 

“Isn’t it crazy how quickly things changed?” Jaehyun asked, you figured he was thinking of the past just like you were. You laughed and told him you thought he was going to start singing the One Direction song and he chuckled in response, passing a plate to you. 

“It’s insane, I can’t believe I used to hate you so much. You drove me crazy, I was always so mad at you,” you told him which caused him to laugh. 

“Well, then nothing much has really changed then.” You gasped at his reply and splashed some water from the tap at him, causing him to laugh harder. 

“What? It’s true, I still drive you crazy and you’re still always mad at me.”

“You know I’m never actually mad at you right?” You asked him and he nodded, “So you admit it right? I do drive you crazy,” he teases. So you give in, “Yea, but in a good way. In the past, I would want to deck you for teasing me but now…not so much.”

After everything was cleaned, you bid your parents goodbye since you were going to stay at Jaehyun’s for the night. I mean it wasn’t a big deal, they could literally see you from across the road if they looked from their windows. 

The two of you were cuddling in bed after washing up, just soaking in the whole day. It’s been really hectic amidst all the excitement. And the two of you talked about all the funny memories you had in highschool, whether it was with your own friends or each other. 

Then you suddenly went quiet, the uncertainty of the future and all its worries plagued your mind again. This time you don’t try to stop them. 

Jaehyun noticed this, since your enthusiasm evidently dropped and you almost stilled in his arms. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jaehyun suddenly said, lifting up an invisible penny in between his thumb and index finger, then placing the imaginary coin on your open palm that was resting on his abdomen. You clasp your hand over the imaginary coin and pretend to pocket it. 

You sighed before starting, “I’m just scared…” 

“What about?” Jaehyun prompts as he runs his hand over your shoulder, his touch already bringing you some comfort. 

“Our futures seem so uncertain and I mean as a couple. You want to go to East Eagles and I fully support you because I know how much you always wanted to play for them. And I’m so excited for you just thinking about you going there. But East Eagles is no place for me. I want to go to NCIT, it has always been my dream.” 

You’re met with silence, Jaehyun continues to hold you close but his eyes are trained at the ceiling, he himself deep in thought. 

So you continue, “We’ll be far away from each other and when we get busy with our separate lives, what if we…what if things stop working out for us? What if-” 

“It won’t.” Jaehyun protests immediately, cutting you off. 

“Jaehyun, you know you can’t just say that. We never know.” You sit up and away from his embrace to look at his face. He’s uncomfortable with how cold he suddenly feels once you’re out of his arms, his body follows yours instinctively as he sits up to face you. 

“Y/n, I love you so much.” 

And you forget what you were about to say, you stop and really look at Jaehyun. His eyes are teary and they look at you with so much love and conviction, for some reason it threatens to break your heart. 

“I love you too, Jae.” You tell him as you feel a tear roll down your cheek. He brings a hand up to cradle the side of your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek to wipe off the tear that has rolled down. 

“So we’ll be fine. I know our love won’t fade just because of mere distance or time. I believe it’s stronger than that. I know it is, I’m not going to leave you just because we won't be physically together like this every day. Even if we do go to different colleges, I'll still love you all the same. So don’t even worry your pretty little head over something like that, okay?” He manages to draw out a chuckle from you as you nod your head. 

“I love your big ass head,” you tell him, which causes laughter to erupt from his chest. “Hey, my head is not that big!” 

He goes on to lunge at you, playfully wrestling you onto the bed to break the depressing atmosphere that hung in the air. You use all your strength to fight back. You manage to flip yourself over and push Jaehyun onto his back, you smile victoriously down at Jaehyun. You’re proud of yourself since this is really, only the second time you managed to get out of his tight hold. 

You don’t get to enjoy it for long though because Jaehyun swiftly flips you over and the bed creaks as you flopped onto your back. Jaehyun smirks down at you as you roll your eyes, his competitiveness never dwindles even when it comes to you. You try to fight back by pushing his chest and he pins your hands down, his face is so close to yours that you can already feel his soft lips brushing against your own. He closes the gap between the two of you and kisses you, he lets go of your hands to flip you on top of him. His hand glides over the nape of your neck and pulls you closer, his lips never leaving yours. 

You intertwine your hand with his free hand and you pull away merely for a second only for Jaehyun to pull you back towards him. Lips pressed against yours insistently, as if afraid that you would disappear if this stops. 

That night Jaehyun holds you close, even in his sleep. His fear is evident too, from the way he would pull you closer if you even so turn in your sleep. But what he told you was true too. He knows the love you two share is so much greater than your worries. Still, he promises to hold you every chance he gets. Just in case, he won’t be able to have you in his arms like this again for months at a time. 

2:36pm - it’s here, the East Eagles letter - 

2:37pm - i’ll open it when you get here - 

You got a text from Jaehyun when you were out helping your mum water the plants, but upon receiving the text, you made a beeline straight across the road and to Jaehyun’s house. You saw his dad come out to get the letters a while ago but you didn’t think that letter would be in there too. 

You burst through the front door, knowing that it is usually not locked since everyone is home and you see Jaehyun sitting with his mum at the dining table. He sees you and sends you a smile when you go over to sit across from them both. 

“Go ahead honey,” his mum urges him, you could tell she was as nervous as Jaehyun or even more so. Jaehyun takes a deep breath as he carefully rips open the envelope. He unfolds the paper and scans the words on it, you raise your eyebrows in anticipation and he only offers a smile. His mum pulls the paper gently to read it too and only offers Jaehyun a gentle kiss on his temple. “It’s alright honey, don’t worry about it.” She said as you pats her son's arm, getting up and leaving you two alone.

Jaehyun gently shakes his head as you get up to walk over to him, reading the letter yourself. 

"Dear Mr. Jung, 

This is in regard to your application to the Computer Science program under East Eagles College. We regret to inform you that we cannot offer you admission to this program…"

You immediately offer him a hug from behind, leaning your head against his. He holds your arm and rubs it gently. He folds the letter and puts it back into the envelope, tossing it aside to where the rest of the unopened letters were. 

He stands up and hugs you again, leaning his head on top of yours this time. You pull away to look up at him, “You feeling okay?” you asked, concerned about how emotionless he seems to be treating the rejection. You know Jaehyun has a habit of closing off when he feels disappointed or upset, but this was his dream college and if anything you want to be someone he can lean on in times like this. 

He nods and forces a smile, you accept his answer, trying not to pry since you knew he would come around to talk about it eventually. 

The next day, you were walking in the park near your house with Jaehyun when he told you about how he’s thinking of appealing his application. You second his decision and tell him you would even help with the appeal letter. 

“I knew I wasn’t going to get it though,” he says after mentioning the appeal. 

You frowned and protested, you weren’t used to Jaehyun doubting his own abilities. Especially when it comes to basketball, you’ve watched him play plenty of times and he never fails to surprise you. His drive and passion for the sport is on another level and it shows in his skills too. You might not know everything about the sport but even you – setting aside all your bias-ness – could tell that Jaehyun was pretty damn good at basketball. 

“I mean it, I know I’m above average and coming back from the first trial I felt pretty confident. But at the second trial, some of them were too good and I already knew my chances of getting into East Eagles were slim. It’s just how it is,” he tells you honestly. You squeeze his hand once and he looks up to ruffle your hair, he assures you that he’s okay and would simply try again. 

“Anyways, NCIT has a pretty good basketball team too,” you stop in your tracks when Jaehyun says that and he’s shocked when he gets pulled back by you. 

“NCIT?” you asked to confirm that your ears were not playing tricks on you. Jaehyun smiles and only hums in response. 

“I did my research and I applied for NCIT too, you know? Just in case.” He said, a smug expression on his face. He can’t hide the smile that appears on his face when he sees the glint of excitement in your eyes. 

“How come you didn’t tell me?” you asked him and he only laughs, telling you that he didn’t want to get your hopes up since there still was a chance of him getting into East Eagles when he applied for NCIT. You try to calm yourself down since Jaehyun was still going to appeal to the East Eagles and you haven’t even gotten any news from NCIT yet. 

But you couldn’t help but be hopeful. It was always your dream to go to NCIT but now there’s been an addition to that dream. If the stars aligned for you, your new dream was to attend NCIT with Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun got his NCIT letter two days before you but you two promised to open it up together. He was already over at your place when your dad waves your NCIT letter in his hand. Jaehyun got up and ran home to retrieve his letter from his room. He came up in less than two minutes, panting, an envelope held securely in his hand. 

The two of you didn’t even sit down to open it, standing in your living room, both anxiously tearing the envelope open. You unfolded the paper in your hands, eyes swiftly scanning the first few lines. Your mum peeking from over your shoulders. You look up at Jaehyun, waiting for a reaction. 

“Did you get in?” Jaehyun asked meekly, peering at you from behind his letter. You gulp, fearing that Jaehyun was rejected again. Which you thought was impossible, considering how well he did for finals and factoring in his position in the basketball team. So you only offer him a nod, trying not to to get too excited for yourself in fear of him being disappointed. 

“Did you?” You asked him. 

He passed his letter to you and you almost snatched it from him. 

"Dear Mr. Jung, 

We are delighted to inform you that…"

And that was all it took for you to scream and leap into his arms. He laughs at your reaction and squeezes you tightly. You jump up and down excitedly in his embrace and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. Your parents congratulate the both of you and your mum rushes over to the Jung’s to tell them the news. 

Then you remembered, “Wait, but you’re still waiting for the East Eagles to get back to you right?” 

He shook his head, and you looked at him with confusion. 

“I’m going to accept NCIT’s offer.” 

“What?” you respond in a combination of shock and excitement. “But what if the East Eagles give you an offer this time?” 

Jaehyun just shrugs, “I want to go to college with you.” 

You open your mouth to protest. Of course you want to go to college with Jaehyun too, but you didn’t want him to do this for you. This is his future and he shouldn’t make choices rashly like that. 

“The East Eagles are great, yes. But I can play basketball anywhere and I would be happy enough. If I go to NCIT, I can play basketball and be with you. Now that is a dream come true,” he says as he holds your face in his hands, wiping your tears that you didn’t even know were falling from your eyes. 

You push his hands away only to hug him, snuggling your face into his chest. You were crying out of pure joy and excitement. Jaehyun kisses the top of your head and holds you tight, “Wherever you go y/n, I’ll follow. I won’t leave your side. I promise.”

You’re too happy to say anything back, you just hug him tighter and sobbed into his chest. You’re so excited to start this new chapter with Jaehyun. All your fears about the future washes away in that instant, Jaehyun would be by your side and that was enough. You thanked your lucky stars that night for aligning for you as you curled into Jaehyun’s embrace and fell into a deep sleep.  

“Okay you two, we’ll take our leave now!” Jaehyun’s dad shouts from the living room. You rush out of your new room to bid him and your dad goodbye. Hugs were exchanged and you shed some tears while hugging your dad because you’re still such a daddy’s girl. 

“Treat my daughter well, son,” your dad tells Jaehyun as they share a hug, your dad patting Jaehyun on the back a few times before letting go. Jaehyun assures him that he’ll take care of you and the two of you thanked them for helping you guys move. The two dads said their final goodbyes and took their leave.

After the both of you accepted your offers from NCIT, you were in search of an affordable place to rent near campus. And this place was the best fit, it was big enough and was only a ten minute drive to school. Jaehyun bought a secondhand car shortly after graduation so it was even more convenient. Even without the car, it was only a few bus stops away from campus. The best part was that the rent was completely within your budgets. 

The next few days, you and Jaehyun were busy unpacking. The apartment only had two rooms, excluding the living room cum kitchen. But it was more than enough space for you two since you would be sharing a room. The other room was made into a study room. It wasn’t fancy but this is your first place with Jaehyun and the two of you quickly fell in love with your new found home.

College begins next week and you can’t wait for what’s in store for the both of you.

[wishesunderthestars]

Eunoia // Ch. 14

eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness

Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognition, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness ins’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut

Word Count: 15k+

Warnings: Abuse and violence, past sexual abuse, derogetory language, sexual harassment

Masterlist

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

It has been a long time, I know. Thanks for being patient with me. This was supposed to be the last chapter of Yoongi and Hoseok’s part but I just couldn’t fit everything that needed to happen inside or it would turn into a 30k chapter and be even more late, so I divided it into two.

The taglist is now closed.

Four days felt like a much smaller amount of time than when you had first been informed of your break.  When you heard the alarm the morning you had to go back to work, you were tempted to ignore it and cover your head with the sheets. This was strange for two reasons. You always woke up before your alarm and it was impossible for you to fall asleep again after waking up, even when you were exhausted. But your eyes were heavy and sleep was clinging to your bones.

You reached for your phone and turned off the alarm. The hybrids were waiting for you in the kitchen, breakfast already served. You thanked Seokjin, who looked the most awake. Jimin and Jungkook were leaning against each other with their eyes half closed, small yawns escaping them every few minutes. It was a little earlier than the time you usually left but you had to do some work in the company building before you could go to the studios. Hoseok's injuries were much better, you didn't need to check on them twice a day anymore so you avoided going to their room and waking them up.

The fox hybrid had been opening up more and he looked more at ease with his surroundings. After eating dinner with you on the first night of your break, he had timidly asked if they could join you again. His whole face lit up when you told him they would always be welcome. Dinners had turned into lunches too, claiming that way you didn't have to carry the trays to their room every day.

You weren't surprised at how well he got along with Jimin. His heart-shaped smile had even charmed Namjoon. He was fascinated with every little thing and you made use of your break to show him around the house. It could be a little overwhelming, so you stuck to the basics at first. The kitchen, the upstairs living room, the library (where at least one of you could be found most times) and the cinema room. He looked at everything in wonder, his red tail wagging behind him. Yoongi trailed after you, the bored expression on his face slipping at how happy and excited Hoseok was.

The second day of your break Jimin announced that you would all be watching a movie. He would accept no complaints, not that there were any. You made enough popcorn for a whole movie theater while Seokjin and Jungkook made pizza. You strictly forbade them from putting on one of your movies. You were so deeply involved and connected with them you had trouble watching them without overthinking every scene, line and camera angle. Jimin pouted, joined by Jungkook and a more subtle Hoseok. But you didn’t budge. Jimin huffed and selected a comedy with an actor Seokjin liked.

It was the third day of your break and Jimin had dragged you with him to the guest suite, saying he needed his daily cuddles. You were laying together in his bed as you played with his blond strands. His hair was growing longer and he was complaining that it was falling in his eyes but you loved running your hands through it, your fingers getting lost inside. Jimin snuggled into your side, his tail wrapped around your waist.

“You are very affectionate today,” you said. Jimin let out an unsatisfied noise when you stopped massaging his scalp, so you moved your hand upwards, scratching behind his cat ears, eliciting a small moan from him.

“I am always affectionate,” he said, nuzzling against your collarbones. “You’re just not here and you’re tired when you come back.”

You placed a kiss on the crown of his head. “Sorry.” It was your job. You shouldn’t feel guilty. And yet…

Jimin raised his head, your hand falling from his hair to rest on his cheek. “Don’t be. I just wish you were here more. With us. But your job is important.”

“I guess,” you said caressing his cheek, the cat hybrid leaning into your touch. “I’ll try to get some more time off when I go back to work.” It would be difficult but not impossible. There were often breaks for a couple of days in the filming schedule but you usually spent those revising scripts or reviewing the work of the various departments or attending meetings. Many of those things weren’t actually your responsibilities, they weren’t in your contract, you did them because you wanted everything to be perfect. You could take a step back for once and make up for it later.

Jimin leaned against you, purring happily at the prospect of spending more time with you. He had been clinging to you in the past days after your week-long absence. The first night after making up with Jungkook he had slept with him in their room and you’d thought he would sleep there from now on. But the next night you had come out of the shower to find him laying in your bed.

A talk show was playing on the TV, filling the comfortable silence of the room. Jimin whispering your name had you looking away from the screen. “Hoseok is doing better, right?”

“He is. He’s recovering fast. Why are you asking?” you asked, worried that he had noticed something you hadn’t. Hybrids had much more developed senses than humans that could have detected something you had missed.

“He’s nice,” he said, playing with the fake buttons of your shirt. “He looks so happy all the time and he’s so energetic.”

“He is. See? He’s really getting better.” That didn’t seem to satisfy Jimin.

“What if they want to leave now that he’s better?”

You cooed at him, pulling him closer. “Is that what’s brought this on? If they want to leave we can’t stop them. The door is always open if they don’t want to be here anymore. They only came here because Hoseok was injured and he couldn’t go to the hospital.”

“But can they stay?” His eyes were shining as he looked up at you. “Please.”

“They can stay for as long as they want. But I can’t force them to stay.”

Jimin didn’t say anything more, hiding into your side. Last night at dinner, Jimin had been quiet and withdrawn, glancing at Yoongi every few minutes. There was history between them, one that ran deep and cut just as hard. From little clues and pieces and what Jimin himself had told you, you had pieced together an image of Jimin’s past but you had trouble finding where exactly Yoongi fit.

You hadn’t forgotten Jimin’s words in your office the day you had invited the two hybrids in your house. Yoongi once belonged to the same man Jimin did. They had done something to him and Jimin had been left to the adoption center he had escaped from. Yoongi had been left somewhere else, you guessed a less savory place. But you couldn’t figure out what they could have done to be kicked out. Something Jimin still felt guilty about. Betrayal was a strong and sticky word and it was hard to associate it with sweet Jimin, even when that man deserved that and more.

Yoongi was a mystery surrounded by several brick walls. Only a wrecking ball could break them down. You were the kind of person to knock on a wall and wait for it to crumble by itself when it came to people. At work, if the only way to get through an obstacle was a wrecking ball, you would bring a wrecking ball.

Surprises weren’t uncommon for you (see: Virginia earthquake), you had learnt to face them head on and control the consequences. But that hadn’t prepared you for the string of surprises during your break and the days after that.

The first surprise came with how well Hoseok was getting along with the other hybrids. His endearing excitement about anything and everything didn’t fail to amuse them. He would curl up on the grass, bathing in sunlight, often joined by Jimin who had developed the same habit when spring first arrived. He was curious about everything, asking question after question with his red fluffy tail wagging behind him like an overexcited puppy. All of you couldn’t help but humor him and try to answer his questions to the best of your abilities.

The second surprise shocked you more than the first. It was the third night the two hybrids were eating dinner with you in the backyard. Yoongi usually didn’t talk, opting to focus on his food while observing the progression of the meal. Thus when he spoke, everyone fell silent. He didn’t say much, it only took him a couple of seconds to compliment Jin’s cooking then become quiet again. Jin stuttered through his thanks, flustered at the unexpected compliment. The panther hybrid didn’t talk again for the rest of the meal.

The third surprise was seeing Yoongi and Jimin sitting next to each other, sometimes in silence and sometimes talking. Being pulled to each other like a moth to the flame. It made Hoseok all too happy to spend time with both of them.

The fourth surprise came in the form of a text from a contact you hadn’t interacted with since Christmas. You laid back on your bed, staring at the paragraphs-long text and forgetting about anything else. You stared and stared as if the letters would rearrange themselves, or better yet disappear if you stared long enough.

You didn’t notice how much time you had spent there unmoving until there was a knock on the door.

“Open,” you called.

The door was pushed open and Namjoon walked into the room, his gray hair falling in his face. In the mornings he looked younger. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Yeah,” you said, not moving. They never had to call you for breakfast. Your schedules had become so in sync you arrived for breakfast the moment it was ready or a few minutes early.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked. He approached, sitting down next to you on the bed.

“Nothing happened, I guess. It’s an invitation.” The text had been sent late last night but you had missed it, leaving your phone to charge upon coming back home and not looking at it again. “It’s from my parents. For a gala.”

“Your parents?” The surprise was evident in his face. You didn’t talk much about your parents, those were conversations you didn’t tend to enjoy. Your parents were a topic you weren’t well-versed in and your lack of confidence was irritating.

You looked at the text again, black letters surrounded by gray. “They invited me to a fashion gala. They would really appreciate it if I could attend.” Reading the text again, you wondered if your mother had asked someone else to write it before deeming it persuasive enough to send. “It’s held in Beverly Hills.”

“When?” Namjoon asked.

“Saturday. In less than a week.” It was Tuesday.

Namjoon glanced at your phone. “Do you want to go?”

The answer was more complicated than you would have liked. You didn’t feel like buying a new gown (god forbid if you wore a dress you had worn before at such an event), having your makeup and hair done and plastering a smile on your face while exchanging pleasantries with people you didn’t know for the whole night. But it wasn’t that easy. You hadn’t attended the Christmas event your mother had organized, using work as an excuse, not feeling like showing up at an event in the mindset you had fallen into. Although she didn’t show it, your mother had been offended.

You couldn’t skip another event.

You threw an arm over your eyes, groaning. “I can’t not go. My mother organized the gala, it will look bad if I’m not there.”

“I could come with you,” Namjoon offered.

It would be nice having someone there with you. Namjoon had a way of calming you down and settling your worries but actually remembering those galas made you change your mind. The rich and mighty loved showing off their wealth and power and hybrids were part of that allure. You wouldn’t subject Namjoon to that. You weren’t sure how he would react. You didn’t want to subject him to your parents’ scrutiny either.

“It would be better if I went alone,” you said. Namjoon threaded his fingers with yours in understanding. He pulled on your hand until you were sitting up on the bed, facing him.

“If you don’t want to go, you shouldn’t.”

Only that it wasn’t so simple. Or it was just your human nature making this overcomplicated.

“My mother will be really disappointed if I don’t go. I didn’t go to her last event, either. It will look bad if I don’t go to this one too.” Namjoon squeezed your hand, urging you to continue. “I’m just tired of them. Galas, events, they are all the same and not in a good way. Sure, there are some people worth talking too. I’ve had some great conversations there, but those are far and few in between. Most people are just trying to outshine the one next to them. And my mother only wants me there to complete the picture.”

The powerful and influential couple with their successful daughter. It was an image that haunted you. Most times you tried to ignore it because it wasn’t fair of you to judge your parents like that. They never made you attend those events, they didn’t get angry when you couldn’t make it. But it left a sour taste in your mouth when those events were the only times you saw them anymore.

“You don’t have to be alone there.” Namjoon brought your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss in the middle of your palm. “I’m always here if you change your mind. It would feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want you there. I do,” you said. “But that isn’t a world you want to be a part of, it isn’t really my world either. There, hybrids are just expensive accessories and I don’t want people to look at you like that. Like you are something to be had.”

Namjoon’s eyes were soft on you as he cupped your cheek with the hand that wasn’t holding yours. “That’s how most people look at us. It isn’t something new. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m used to it.”

“But it isn’t right.” You sounded like a five-year-old complaining that the world wasn’t fair because her parents didn’t buy her ice cream but you couldn’t help it. “And it isn’t just the other people, the guests. I’m not sure about my parents either. They don’t know I’ve adopted you. Actually, they don’t know about anything that has happened in my life this year.”

“I understand if you don’t want them to know about us.”

“It isn’t that,” you said. “Not exactly. I don’t want them involved in my business and judging my choices. They- They are my parents and I guess they care about me in their own way but I won’t be able to stay calm if they look at you like they are estimating your price tag.”

Namjoon leaned closer, bringing your foreheads together. You closed your eyes, surrounded by his warmth. “All I care about is for you to feel comfortable and if my presence there will make things worse then I won’t come with you. But if you change your mind, I’ll be right here. Whatever you want, I’m here.”

You tilted your head, waiting for his lips to touch yours. You shared a sweet kiss before there was another knock at the door.

“Namjoon! Did you wake her up?” Seokjin shouted from the other side of the door. “The breakfast is getting cold! I woke up at the crack of dawn to make it!”

You giggled as you separated.

“Let’s go before he decides we don’t deserve food,” Namjoon said.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

 You had to readjust your schedule for the gala. There were many things you had to do in the five days leading up to it. Your mother was so pleased you accepted the invitation she called you the very next day to tell you how happy she was you would be attending. She hadn’t organized a fashion gala in years and it meant a lot that you would be there to support her. The gala was all about the importance of fashion and the unique interpretations of old and new big names in the industry. It would be one of the grandest events of the year, even if your mother was as clueless about fashion as she was about your life. She enjoyed watching the glorious parts and giving compliments, but rarely got more involved than that.

She had arranged for you to meet with one of the designers featured at the event. You could choose a dress from his collection that would be showcased at the gala. Your mother reassured you that they would do everything so your dress would be fitted to your exact measurements and ready for you to wear on time. You didn’t complain. It would be otherwise impossible to find a dress of the caliber your mother expected in such a short time.

The designer came to your house himself with his assistants. He was a nice young man with a tilted accent revealing that he wasn’t originally from the United States. You made small talk about the different kinds of art characterizing your jobs. They took your measurements and presented you with a few options the designer had selected for you. Some were more eccentric than others but all of them were beautiful.

After discussing with him and listening to his opinions, you selected a piece with gold and red embroidery and a flowy skirt. He was very pleased with your choice, going on and on about how good it would look on you. You felt fluttered at how excited he was for you to wear his design.

You had to meet him again a few days later for the first fitting. He offered to come to your house again but it would be easier for the alterations to be at his studio, where all of his tools were.

Jimin had seen the opportunity to spend more time with you and put on his most convincing puppy eyes asking you to take him with you to the fashion studio. You had no reason to refuse, you wanted to spend more time with him too. Somehow Jimin roped Seokjin into coming with you as well. They waited for you outside until the alterations were done. You couldn’t resist spoiling them while you were out so you took them for waffles. From Seokjin’s stuffed face it was safe to say he enjoyed them.

You had to go back to work after the fitting but Jimin was clinging to you not letting you go, which was how you ended up with the two of them at the final table-reading for the first episode of the Raven Cycle. They both quietly watched the actors delivering their lines. Jimin leaned forward in his seat as he got more and more invested in the scenes, snapping out of it whenever one scene ended and you discussed corrections and suggestions.

The atmosphere was light and friendly. You were professionals and you believed in maintaining a healthy environment of communication and mutual respect that left space for jokes and friendships to develop. The chemistry between the actors was important and you found that when they were friends and had a bond in real life too, it showed.

“Okay, that was great. I liked Ronan’s extra lines, we should keep that in.” The writer next to you wrote it down. “It’s getting late so let’s take a small break for a few minutes and move on to scene fifteen and sixteen and we’re completely done with episode one.” Everyone agreed with you and soon chatter was filling the room. You stretched your arms behind you, your body was complaining after sitting for too many hours.

The snacks and refreshments on the table against the wall were dwindling as the table-reading went on. All the important people in the project were there; the executive producers, the writers, the heads of the various departments and of course all the main actors of the first episode. The room with the large table and the many couches and chairs was large enough for everyone.

Three more days of table reading, which was mainly for revisions, and you would be done, leaving around a week before filming was scheduled to start. Just on time. Despite unfortunate surprises and earthquakes, you were on time. Next week you would be back in the studios standing behind the cameras watching years of work and planning coming to life. The first moments of filming in every movie or TV show whispered to you in silver and gold lines that you couldn’t describe as anything else than magic.

You picked up a bottle of water and a sandwich from the snack table, getting caught up in a short conversation with one of the producers. Your scalp was beginning to hurt from the tight ponytail your hair was trapped in. With a pat on your shoulder, the producer left to find the head of the costume department.

Jimin and Jin were sitting on the smallest couch, away from the table in the middle of the room. Jimin’s ears twitched as you settled on the armrest. You handed him the sandwich.

“For me?”

“You have been looking at it as much as you have been looking at the actors.”

Jimin still didn’t take a bite. “I already ate two.”

“And now you will eat one more.” You nudged the sandwich closer to his face. “They are quite small. I think Will has eaten seven since we started.” You glanced at your assistant, he was talking with two of the actors.

Jimin smiled at you like you were sharing a secret before diving into his sandwich. You opened your water bottle and gulped down half of it in seconds.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? It’s past eight and it will take at least one more hour to finish the last two scenes and wrap everything up.” You had asked them if they wanted to leave three times since you’d arrived and the answer had been the same each time.

“It’s eight?” Jin asked, pulling out his phone from his pocket. You leaned over Jimin to peek at the screen seeing a few texts from Namjoon and Jungkook and notifications from the various apps Jin used. You had texted Namjoon earlier so he wouldn’t worry that Jin and Jimin hadn’t returned home.

“And it will be at least nine by the time I’m done,” you said.

“We’ve been here for three hours. We can wait for you one more.” Jin opened the messages app reading the texts, a smile appearing on his face.

Jimin had eaten more than half of the sandwich, crumbs sticking at the sides of his mouth. “I want to see what happens at the end. Pretty please?”

“We will wait for you,” Jin said. “We don’t have anything better to do,” he added, to which Jimin agreed enthusiastically. You scratched the cat hybrid's ears while he devoured the rest of the sandwich.

What you hadn’t considered before taking them with you was that the table reading would give away many spoilers for the show. Spoilers were the bane of your existence. Not everyone minded them but you disliked them with passion. You had almost strangled Zayn when he had told you a spoiler he had seen on Twitter for the ending of Avengers: Infinity War,  minutes before the movie started. Zayn had been very lucky the lights hadn’t gone out yet. The suspense was one of your favorite parts and that was ruined for you when you knew what would happen.

At least it was the first episode but there was a lot of discussion on how certain parts or pieces of dialogue would connect with later episodes. The fact that it was an adaptation also changed things. You had been adamant about staying true to the original story and keeping in as many scenes from the book as you could. Your additions revolved around character development, the relationships between the characters, and some conflicts that hadn’t been in the book but you had discussed in length with Maggie. In this case, you didn’t know exactly how to define spoilers.

As expected, you finished the table reading twenty minutes past nine. Gathering all your folders from the table, the scripts, and various notes from the writers and producers, you hid them all away in your backpack. Henrietta and the magical forest were coming to life from their voices alone. You could already imagine how captivating it would be on screen.

Jimin was laying his head on Jin’s shoulder with his arm wrapped around the older’s waist. It had taken some time for them to relax in the room full of strangers, some of who hadn’t been subtle about staring. One look from you and their gazes had darted away. It still wasn’t common to have a hybrid, much less three, but you didn’t care how curious they were if they were making Jimin and Jin uncomfortable.

During the first break, early at the table reading, you had been roped into a debate about a possible change in one of the scenes. The two hybrids had kept to themselves, staying quiet and watching. The actress playing Blue had walked up to them with a wide smile and introduced herself. The remaining tension in them was released when she struck up a conversation with them.

“Time to get going,” you said. Jimin looked up at you, blinking drowsily. “Should I tell John to carry you to the car?”

“We’re leaving?” he asked, rubbing at his eyes.

“Thankfully yes so you need to get up.” You had wrapped everything up, saying goodbye to everyone and you were ready to go.

Jin kissed Jimin’s blond curls. “Let’s go and get you into an actual bed.” He got up and pulled Jimin with him, the younger hybrid was clinging to his back like a koala from the hallway where you met up with John to the parking lot.

In the car, you looked at them through the rear-view mirror. Jimin’s eyes were closed, laying his head on Jin’s shoulder.

“Hard day?” John asked, moving the gear shift to the left and then up.

“I’m a little afraid that my scenario might be a little boring,” you said glancing behind you. “It’s too early for him to be falling asleep.”

The car started moving, leaving the dimly lit parking lot behind. “He’s not used to being out for that long,” Jin said smoothing down Jimin’s hair with care. Jin cared for you with everything he had, you tried to do the same but it was close to impossible with how busy you were.

“If it’s my scenario though, I need to rewrite that thing from beginning to end.”

John chuckled. “Good luck telling that to the writers and the producers. They’ll love it.”

They’d love it as much as cats loved swimming.

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 You took the day of the gala off. If you went to the gala tired after work, you wouldn’t be able to put a smile on your face and keep it there. It wasn’t so much that the galas were awful but that you felt out of place in them. Your mother had many connections and she would invite the “best” of her world. Some faces had become familiar, a steady fixture in your mother’s guest lists. Some faces you should be able to recognize but you didn’t, resulting in interactions based on pretending.

At the after-parties of award shows and premieres, you were more at ease. The designer dresses and suits were the same, worn by rich and influential people, but it was people you knew and respected. Your skin wasn’t prickling at the tension, lost somewhere between remembering a name or a company and ignoring the jabs at other guests or the rumors spreading like vines.

The last event you had attended was in New York last September, it had been the event of the year according to your mother. Jacob had accompanied you, hugging your mother and shaking hands with your father. He had stayed next to you from the moment you stepped into the place to the moment you got into the car to leave. You had to somewhat agree with your mother. A lot of interesting people were in attendance, famous writers and journalists, and you succeeded in ignoring the less favorable situations.

Your parents had changed a lot, or maybe it was just the circumstances that had changed and the different perspective you had as an adult. You used to cast them as the absentee parents, an overused trope you didn't find much merit in. It was too simple, too straightforward. They didn't disappear from one day to the next, cutting all contact with you. It was more like the times they were there grew fewer and fewer until they had moved permanently to New York by the time you were eight. Your father had been offered a position he couldn't refuse and your mother loved him too much to leave him alone there. She tried, she tried to stay for you but she had been trying to find a reason to leave your hometown since she was a teenager. The penthouses and neat offices fit her far better than the beaches and town squares ever did.

It started as a few weeks at first. Your father would be staying in the city for some meetings and your mother wanted to join him. His job involved a lot of traveling and in most of your memories, he was holding a suitcase. A few weeks turned into a month the next time, then into a few months you had to stay with your aunt and your cousins. After you turned eight, they were coming back only for a few weeks every year.

When you were ten you stopped answering their calls and refused to talk to them. Your mother still tried, even traveled back to be with you. Instead of staying at your house with her, you stayed with your aunt. Your mother left defeated. It took a year for you to speak to them again. Childish, but you couldn't blame your past self. The cracks in your relationship with your parents were still there. As an attempt to prevent them from widening and growing, you at least tried to attend the events your mother invited you to.

Another one to add to the list.

"Does the duck look ready to you?" you asked Jin. Roasted duck wasn't a dish you had experience with but that wasn't the only reason you called for Jin. Being home for the day you had offered to help Jin cook lunch. Cooking helped take your mind off, focusing on the recipe and chatting with Jin.

Jin left the lettuce he was washing in the bowl and dried his hands in a towel. His steps were careful and measured, one of his hands holding on the counter.

"It looks good," he said. "You can take it out."

You opened the oven, pulling back last minute so the heat wouldn't burn your face. "It smells incredible! I think I got ten times hungrier just smelling this."

Jin chuckled but it was strained. "I'm too good at this." He was still holding onto the counter.

"You won't catch me complaining."

He went back to the lettuce in the sink, his bangs falling into his face and covering his eyes. You wrapped the chicken breasts in foil and let them rest for a few minutes. The figs were caramelized and the potatoes fried until golden. That was about it for the main dish.

Jin was cutting the lettuce so you occupied yourself with making the salad dressing. You worked in silence. It wasn't for the lack of anything to say but a flinch from Jin earlier, while you had been talking, had you lowering your voice and then closing your mouth when you were finished with that sentence. It was only for a moment before he turned away, but it was enough for you to notice. You had asked him if he was alright twice and both times the answer had been the same. After that, it was clear he wouldn't tell you anything else regardless of how many times you asked.

A thud echoed in the room followed, not a second after, by the sound of metal clattering on wood. The spoon you used to mix the ingredients of the salad dressing stilled in your hand. Jin had fallen to his knees on the floor, holding the counted with one hand and his head with the other. The knife laid abandoned on the cutting board next to the lettuce.

For a moment your surroundings blurred from the surprise before coming into crystal clear focus. You rushed to Jin's side, who was trying to pull himself back up to his feet.

"I'm alright. I slipped," he said.

"You slipped? Seriously?" You had one arm around his waist and it stayed there as he leaned back against the counter. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just a little dizzy," Jin muttered. That close to him, only a breath away, you could see how pale he was, the dark circles under his eyes standing out against the white of his skin.

"You haven't been alright since we started cooking. You aren't just a little dizzy, that's not how someone is when they're a little dizzy."

Jin turned his head to the side, avoiding your gaze. "Let it go, please. Only the salad is left. I'll rest after we eat."

"Jin, that's not..." Clueless about how to continue, you pressed your palm to his forehead. In winter your hands were always freezing cold, it didn't matter if the temperature wasn't that low they would turn into popsicles mere seconds after going outside. Only that it wasn’t winter but spring and your hands were as warm as they could be, that’s why it was that much more concerning that his forehead was warmer than it should be under your touch. “You’re burning up. How are you still standing?”

“It isn’t that bad,” Jin said. He wasn’t looking at you.

“It isn’t that bad?” you repeated in disbelief. “Forget about the salad, I’m taking you to your room.”

You were about to turn around when Jin gripped your elbow weakly. “You don’t need to, really, I can finish up here, it isn’t the first time. I can do it.” The sweat that was gathering on his forehead and his tired eyes told a different story.

“You have been cooking while feeling sick?” you asked. Being out of the house almost all day it wouldn’t have been hard to miss and when you came back at night you weren’t that aware of your surroundings, but the other hybrids would have been able to see past Jin’s pretenses.

“Not here,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

That’s something you should have expected. You had never met his previous owners but you couldn’t stop yourself from hating them for what they had done to him. Hate was too strong of a word but you didn’t have any other name for the burning in your chest whenever you witnessed how insecure and self-conscious Jin had become of them.

You cupped his cheek in your palm turning his head to face you and you rested your forehead against his, your noses bumping. At the touch his shoulders slumped, his back muscles unraveling under your hand. Jin joked that it was weird that his scent glands weren’t in the same places as other hybrids’ but in strange places like his forehead. You couldn’t agree with him because standing there with your foreheads touching it was just as intimate.

The walk to his room was silent. You opened the door for him and watched him hide under the covers, between the countless pillows and stuffed animals. Before leaving, you placed a kiss on his forehead your lips warming up because of his fever. You wanted to stay there with him and with the way he was holding your hand he wanted the same but the lettuce was waiting for you back in the kitchen and there were five hybrids you had to feed.

Finishing up the meal was a matter of minutes. The dressing for the salad had been made and you only had to finish cutting the lettuce and a few fresh tomatoes before mixing everything in a large bowl. You unwrapped the foil from around the duck breasts and arranged them in plates, adding the figs with the pan juices and the fried potatoes. It looked like something you would order at a five-star restaurant, most of Jin’s cooking did.

The mouth-watering aroma must have drifted downstairs because as you were putting the last touches on the plates two sets of feet were running up the staircase. Jimin looked like he had been lured into the kitchen by some magical force, transfixed on the plates on the counter. He sniffed, making tiny happy noises.

“This smells so good. I’m hungry!” he whined.

Jungkook followed behind, taking a look at the plates and turning to you with pleading eyes. “When are we eating?”

You shook your head at their antics. “I just finished up, you can take them down if you want so stop looking at me like that.”

Jimin pouted, his shoulders raising. “Looking at you like what?”

“Stop that, I know what you’re doing.”

Jimin continued on, batting his eyelashes at you. “What am I doing? Am I not doing good?”

You pinched his cheek, making him giggle. “I thought you were hungry but apparently you aren’t hungry enough if you’re still here instead of taking the food down.” At that Jungkook was quick to take out the large trays and fill them with the plates and bowls.

Jimin went to help before pausing. “Where is Jinnie?”

Jin was always in the kitchen before meals, helping the two youngest carry the trays to the backyard. You didn’t want to worry Jimin, he was very sensitive to how others were feeling. His emotional walls were so thin that your blues and grays bled into his yellow. “He’s in his room resting, he’s feeling a little under the weather today.”

“But…How didn’t we notice anything?” Jimin asked.

You patted his shoulder. “I didn’t either until we were cooking lunch. He just needs to rest and he will be better in no time.” Jimin gazed at the food like it could give him the answers he was looking for, you continued. “The duck is his recipe, he only went to his room after the food was ready.” You didn’t mention how he had collapsed while cutting the lettuce, a knife in his hand and way too many grievous possibilities.

Jungkook picked up the nicest plate, you had made it last and having used the previous six ones as practice it had come out looking the best. “Can I take it to him?” It was well-known that he had a soft spot for Jin, sneaking into his room the nights he was running away chased by guilt. Jin had been the only one he had let in then. But again, they all had a soft spot for each other, it may translate differently into actions but it was the same at the core.

You pulled out a smaller bowl from the cupboard. Let me put some salad in this first.” This was one of the only salads everyone liked, even Jimin who was firmly against eating most greens (Namjoon didn’t like them much either but at least he was trying). You filled a glass with water as well and placed it on the smaller tray Jungkook had prepared. “Don’t wake him up if he’s sleeping, he looked really tired.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Jungkook promised picking up the tray and leaving for Jin’s room.

Jimin went back to arranging the plates on the trays. “He’ll be alright soon, right?”

“Of course he will,” you reassured him. “In no time he will be shouting at Jungkook for eating his ingredients and having fights with any insects that find their way to the garden. Now, let’s take these down because having the food right in front of me and not eating it is killing me.”

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 Jin had a terrible headache, that’s where everything had started. He had woken up and instantly wanted to roll to his other side and fall asleep again covering his head with the blanket. His eyes refused to stay open and everything around him was like he was in a fog. His body wasn’t his own, it was like watching someone else execute each move he commanded, like he had lost parts of his senses. Everything was duller.

Powering through, he got up and made his bed, throwing the blankets over it with less precision than usual and arranging his stuffed animals against the pillows. It was your day off because of the gala and he had to make breakfast for you and the other hybrids.

It was enough that he got a few more hours of sleep as a result of the lack of your morning schedule. He could deal with the world being a little blurry at the edges and his body not cooperating every few minutes.

He made an easy breakfast for the day, which was a little disappointing when you were able to sit and enjoy it for once, but he was physically unable to do anything more. Sitting down would help. After breakfast, he would lay down on the couch and he would be better in no time.

Breakfast came and went and in a few hours, he had to start making lunch. Your offer to help was a godsend with his feet feeling like jelly. He thought he had it under control, that he could get through lunch then go to his room and hide under the covers where no one could see him. Until his legs gave up on him.

The knife slipped out of his hand and he watched its slow descent to the cutting board. In a blink he was on his knees, he blinked again and you were next to him helping him up. Hybrids weren’t supposed to get sick, scientists had engineered their whole being down to the color of their hair and eyes, they could strengthen their immune system as well. His past owners used to say that it was in his head because he was living with humans, that if he got sick the center must have given them a problematic hybrid and that couldn’t be true. He had paid a lot for Jin.

The door opened just enough for you to poke your head in. “Jin?” you whispered, quiet enough to not wake him up if he had been sleeping but loud enough for his hearing to pick up while awake. He lowered the blankets from his face. “Hey, did you finish with your food?”

“Yeah, it’s…” He pointed to the tray on the nightstand, he didn’t have enough strength to take it to the desk. You didn’t comment on the food that was left on the plates.

“Are you feeling any better?” you asked. His head still hurt and the heaviness of his body didn’t subside, but it was much better than when he had been standing so he nodded. “Do you need anything else? I brought some medicine if you want, I read that it’s alright for hybrids to take.” Despite the pain and the weariness of his body, he smiled at you and your research. The way you cared about them was endearing. You pulled out a packet from your back pocket.

“I think I’ll take one.” The constant drumming behind his temples and the back of his head was getting too much. It was so bad it wouldn’t let him sleep.

“I’ll go get some water for you.” You left the packet on the nightstand and picked up the tray with the leftovers.

Jin rolled to his back staring at the ceiling. He didn’t get sick often and he hated how his body was betraying him. You returned with a glass filled with water in one hand and a jug in the other.

“There you go,” you said handing him the glass. You opened the medicine packet and pressed a white tablet out. It was light in his palm, almost as if it wasn’t there. He put it in his mouth and washed it down with water. “You’ll feel better in no time.” You stroked his hair and he had to hold himself back from purring. Being sick he craved affection more than ever before.

“Don’t come too close, you’ll get sick too.”

You didn’t pull back. “Then I’ll have a reason to stay at home. It doesn’t sound so bad.” You tugged at the blanket. “Fancy some company?” Jin scooted to the side, letting you slip in next to him. Something inside him rejoiced at having you in his nest with him. It was ridiculous, having the need to nest was ridiculous, but he couldn’t suppress it. You turned around to face him, your head on a light blue pillow you had picked up from the pile. “Do you mind if I stay here for a bit?”

In the absence of words, he nodded his head. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You weren’t wearing makeup today in anticipation of the heavy makeup you would have to wear for the gala. The shadows under your eyes, concealed any other day, were threatening to spill over the rest of your face. The late nights had been many in the past few days, making up for the breaks you were taking. More and more he came to realize that work was your life and you were like a fish escaping water pushing it back.

You didn’t speak, basking in the silent company of each other. Jin let his worries go and, thanks to the medicine, his headache got duller until he couldn’t feel it. He didn’t notice when he fell asleep, waking up to voices.

“…feeling better, the medicine must have kicked in. His temperature has gone back to normal too,” you whispered.

“Okay, that’s good. Our Jinnie is strong,” the other voice said and heat traveled up to the top of Jin’s ears. The voice was unmistakably Namjoon’s and it was so warm Jin wanted to wrap it around himself and never let go. “I think we woke him up.”

“Oh no,” you complained, still whispering. “Jin?”

He opened his eyes, abandoning the comfort of the familiar darkness. You leaning on your forearm peering at him. His heart was beating faster.

“We woke you up, didn’t we?” you asked, looking guilty.

“It’s alright.” He could hear how rough his voice was from sleep. “What time is it?”

“Five,” you said.

He had been sleeping for more than three hours.

Namjoon took a step forward from the door. “I brought you some tea and biscuits,” he said, placing the tray on the now-empty nightstand.

Jin sat up on the bed with his back against the headboard. “Thank you. Can you…?” You picked up the steaming mug and handed it to him, holding it carefully so he wouldn’t burn himself. The plate of biscuits was placed on his lap over the blankets. It was a warm day but the air-conditioning was on in Jin’s room, the weight of the blankets over him promised safety and he didn’t want to be sweating from the heat.

“I’ll be going then,” Namjoon said with a small smile, the two of you exchanging a look.

“Wait.” Namjoon stopped in his tracks. Jin blamed his impulsiveness on the part of him that was controlled by the sugar-glider’s nature. Namjoon shouldn’t be leaving. Namjoon was pack and he should be with him when he wasn’t well, he should be taking care of Jin. One followed the other and it didn’t listen to logic. But he was tired and although the headache was gone, his head was still hazy, so he gave in. “Can you stay?”

The soft smile on Namjoon’s face was enough to wipe away any of his lingering doubts. “Of course I can.” Jin pulled up the blankets inviting him in. Namjoon pulled him closer bringing his forehead to his. The mug shook in Jin’s hold, you covered his hand with yours steading it. Jin realized it wasn’t only his hands shaking as Namjoon scented him tenderly. He felt so weak between the two of you.

 ♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

  The makeup artist asked you to close your eyes again to finish your eyeliner. Your makeup had to compliment your dress, like you were a model on the runway and your purpose was to sell the design. You had to admit that it looked beautiful so far, the gold eyeshadow and the dramatic eyeliner. She completed the look with a matte red lipstick while the hairstylist was releasing the last loose curl from the curling wand. You looked like someone out of a movie and tonight you would have to own that.

They helped you put on the dress like you were incapable of doing it on your own. In these cases, everything had to be perfect, including the most mundane of things. The jewelry was modest as not to take the attention away from the dress but enhance the look. A golden necklace with a ruby surrounded by tiny diamonds to decorate the skin the plunging neckline left bare, small diamond earrings, and golden bracelets.

Half an hour left before the gala and you were ready. The charm was arriving a little late so you had to wait before leaving. The stylists took their leave but you stayed at the fitting room/styling section of the closet, which was right under the actual master closet.

The dress fit you like a glove, bringing attention to all the right areas and burying any imperfections. It was the kind of Cinderella transformation the protagonists in older movies used to go through before getting the guy, but it happened all the time to you. A spy in an action movie, a confident heroine knowing how to use her looks, a girl going to a party to have fun and get drunk, that’s more along the lines of the characters you liked to imagine yourself as. You were far from being any of those characters but it was fun to daydream sometimes.

One last look in the mirror and you climbed up the spiral staircase to your closet, turning off the lights behind you. The designer you had met had been pleasant and your conversations hadn’t been awkward. If the rest of the guests, or at least the majority, were like him then the night could be fun.

The hybrids were all in the living room, even Hoseok and Yoongi. Yoongi wasn’t sitting far from them, in a separate sphere, but next to Jimin who was pointing at something in a book. They all looked at you when you came in, the back of the dress sweeping the floor behind you.

“How does it look?” you asked, doing a twirl. The response was delayed by a few moments.

Namjoon snapped out of it first, coming closer to you and taking your hand. “You look beautiful.” He leaned in for your neck before his face scrunched up in displeasure.

“What?” you asked.

He sniffed at the air. “You…”

“Oh, oh,” you said in realization. “It’s the perfume, it’s quite strong, isn’t it? It’s a Christmas gift from my mother, she said she really liked it so I thought I would wear it for her.”

Namjoon tamed his expression but the frown didn’t disappear. “It’s a little overwhelming. It overpowers everything else.” The perfume was too much for you too, it wasn’t surprising that it was too much for the keen noses of the hybrids. The perfume you wore day to day in spring was a lot lighter and you didn’t put on a lot. You had never stopped to think about how perfumes would affect the hybrids.

“I’ll be sure to not wear it again then,” you said, giving his hand a squeeze.

“That isn’t what I meant.” Namjoon scratched the back of his neck. “You can wear it if you like it. It’s just a little much.”

“Well,” you looked at him and the other hybrids conspiratorially, “it isn’t my favorite, either, and if it affects you like that why would I keep wearing it?” Namjoon’s face smoothed out and you noticed Hoseok looking at you with amazement.

You opened the leather clutch and put in your phone and your keys. Your lipstick and powder were already inside along with a pack of tissues. It didn’t fit any more things.

“I’ll be going now. I’m fashionably late enough.” Before going, Jungkook and Jimin kissed you on each cheek careful not to ruin your makeup. Jin had fallen asleep again and none of you were willing to wake him up.

The night could become difficult so you ignored Yoongi’s eyes on you. You didn’t need any more people judging you.

A limousine was waiting for you outside, limousines were practically part of the dress code in these events. John wasn’t with you this time, you had given him the night off. These kinds of events starred in his nightmares, standing in the corner all night not saying a word. That’s how they kept up the illusion. Regardless of how many times you told him you didn’t care about it, he would follow what was expected of him.

The bright lights blinded you when you arrived. Everyone seemed to want to take a look at you. Your heels sunk into the red carpet at the entrance hall, large paintings in golden frames hanging from the walls. You were led up a grand staircase to the hall the gala was taking place. And so the night began…

You listened through speeches about fashion and the vision of the fashion industry and each individual designer. A few parts were quite interesting, but most of them failed to do anything more than repeat the same old ideas again and again. However, the champagne did make everything a little more tolerable. Your mother had been very happy to see you there and she had told you at least three times how beautiful you were. Your father smiled at you, a smile that looked way too political to be for his daughter, the same smile he would put on when greeting the president.

After the speeches were finished, your mother linked your elbows. It was time for the introductions. You put on your camera smile and shook more hands than you ever did at work. The compliments on your work were many, which ones were genuine was a mystery. But it did feel good when the daughter of one of your father’s associates told you how much she loved the finale of season 4 of Paper Hearts and asked you about Six of Crows.

You said goodbye to an older couple and your mother led you to the buffet. A sculpture of a man pinning fabrics on a mannequin stood proudly in the middle, surrounded by plates of food so perfect that it looked more fake than the decorative food pieces you used on set.

Your mother took another flute of champagne from a waiter. “Mr. Jones will be retiring soon but his son doesn’t want to take over the company. It causes a lot of family drama. I heard they only exchange a few words when they meet but Mr. Jones isn’t backing down.” You had no idea what company they had or who their son was but you nodded. “Ah, I wanted to ask you. You didn’t say anything about adopting hybrids.”

Your hand stilled before you could taste the hors d' oeuvres that looked like a sandwich but was too fancy to call it that. “Hybrids?” you repeated.

“I didn’t know you were interested in them,” your mother continued, unaware of how tense you had become. “Certainly not interested enough to adopt four. Are you making a collection?” She laughed at her joke but you only felt ill.

“No, I wouldn’t say that.” You took a bite of the food, trying to swallow it down. You had lost your appetite.

Your mother sipped on her champagne. “That would be a unique one, it could be showcased.” The churning in your stomach got worse. You left the piece that looked like a sandwich aside.

“How did you learn of it?”

“Don’t you read any magazines? It was front-page news.” You had expected that the information would be published sooner or later, you hadn’t been exactly hiding it, but sooner or later was in the future not now. “You should have told me, I would have looked for some high-quality places to buy them from. There are some very beautiful exotic pieces I have seen. Mrs. Anderson, do you remember her? She couldn’t make it this time but she was at the charity event last September.” You didn’t remember her but you nodded again. “She has such a cute chinchilla hybrid and he’s so well-trained too. I hope yours were trained well, I heard it’s difficult to train them yourself. Where did you adopt them from?”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “An adoption center in Los Angeles,” you lied easily. Spending hours and hours every day with actors, instructing them about how each scene would seem more natural, you had picked up a few tricks. “I just really liked them and they were already a pack, I didn’t want to break them up.”

Your mother arched a single perfectly-drawn eyebrow, a skill you had sadly not inherited. “A pack? Does that actually exist? Dear, the center must have been trying to give you four hybrids instead of one. Pack,” she tried out the word and she didn’t particularly like the results. “That certainly sounds like some kind of con. What are they? Are all of them wolves?”

“No, they aren’t all wolves. And it was three hybrids, I adopted the other one later from Tennessee with Taylor.”

Taylor’s name brought a spark to your mother. “Oh, how is Taylor? Such a sweet girl, I should have invited her. I will next time.” Your mother had met Taylor exactly once during one of the few of your movie premieres she had actually attended. “Which one did you adopt from there?”

You gritted your teeth, debating how much information was wise to give your mother. “Jin, he’s a sugar glider hybrid.”

That seemed to please her. “Sugar glider? That sounds fancy. I would like to see him up close.” Like you would ever allow that to happen. “He must be a rare breed.”

“He is.”

“Of course, I should have expected that my daughter would decide on a rare breed,” she said as if she was congratulating herself. “I insist you bring him to the next event. I was never that interested in hybrids, too much work, but one would look good in photos.”

“Yeah, I guess he would.” You took a deep breath, it wasn’t the time to throw a tantrum like you were five years old again or puke all over your expensive dress and shoes.

The expression on your mother’s face grew somber. “But four hybrids are a lot, I don’t think I know anyone who owns that many.” She twirled the flute in her hand, waves of the golden liquor hitting the glass and bubbles rising to the surface. “After what happened with Jacob I understand you have been feeling lonely, but hybrids aren’t good substitutes for human company, dear. You can’t rely on them as you relied on him or another man.”

A waiter offered you a glass of champagne from a golden tray. You couldn’t drink too much and risk your tongue loosening but you could allow yourself one more glass to get through this. “I’m not trying to replace him. They aren’t some kind of rebound.”

By her pinched expression, she didn’t believe you. “It’s alright to look for company somewhere else when you feel lonely. I don’t want you to think I’m judging your choices, you are an adult and free to make your own decisions but I’m your mother and I’m worried. You and Jacob were together for so long, we were sure he was the one for you. He was so nice and he took care of you. Your father and I were so happy for you.”

“Not all good relationships last. People change, they grow apart.”

“That’s true. It’s difficult getting out of a relationship after being together for so many years and getting back to your feet. That’s why I understand. I understand that you don’t want to be alone right now but don’t put all of your energy into hybrids. It just isn’t the same. Whatever some people like to say, hybrids are hybrids. They are different from us, they are on a different level. You can’t have the same connection with someone you own.”

Her words continued ringing in your mind for the rest of the night. Your father soon called you to introduce you to one of his colleagues, a successful businessman and politician you had never heard of. The glass of champagne was replaced by another one. You promised yourself it was the last. The owner of a luxurious brand talked with your mother about his plan to expand to more countries and the rehearsed and repeated vision to connect the world through fashion.

You peered at the other guests, all mingling, talking, and laughing. A man only a few feet away from you slapped a girl’s ass. You couldn’t believe your eyes, stuff like that didn’t happen at an event like this. You expected a scene, shouting and screaming and everything in between. Nothing happened. The man that had his arm around her waist only laughed. That’s when you noticed the black fluffy ears on top of her head, they were the same color as her hair and easy to miss. She didn’t have a tail. A silver collar with blue stones the same shade as her dress was secured around her neck. Her shoulders were tense and her head lowered.

In any other situation, any other time, you would have done something. You would have walked up to them and said something, anything you could think of on the spot, even talked to her, made a few minutes more tolerable. You did none of those things. Your parents were there and you had avoided embarrassing them all your life.

The guilt was eating you up, wrapping around all your organs and squeezing, hissing, and calling for your attention, not letting you forget. You had done nothing. If someone had touched your hybrids like that you would have cut their hands off. But that hadn’t been your hybrid, it hadn’t been your place. It hadn’t been your place like it hadn’t been your place to adopt Jin and go against his owner, like it hadn’t been your place to get involved with Namjoon’s pack or Yoongi and Hoseok for that matter. Maybe you had been tricking yourself all along, hiding your selfishness and fear behind the pretense of “not my place”.

Your mother was wrong, you hadn’t been looking for company when you and Jacob broke up. On the contrary, you disregarded everything except work, distancing yourself from all of your friends. It was easy with how busy you were at the time. You would have continued hiding in the Castle and spent your break alone if you hadn’t asked John to stop the car that night. They were what you didn’t know you needed. You had to stop being alone first to realize how lonely you had been.

You couldn’t go back to living like that, waking up and returning to an empty house, having no warm meal and warmer hugs waiting for you. That’s what your life had been like for the longest time and you wondered how you used to live like that. The hybrids were so tangled up in your life you couldn’t find where each thread ended or started. They merged and divided, connecting you all in ways you couldn’t describe.

Taylor had asked you about any crushes when you had been in Virginia, everyone was expecting you to find a new boyfriend after six months or at least start dating but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. No one had piqued your interest and it wasn’t for lack of meeting new people. It would feel wrong going on a date with someone when the hybrids were waiting for you back home. And that’s where the problem was; it shouldn’t feel wrong. Many people who had hybrids went on dates, couples adopted hybrids together and it should be like that for you. But it wasn’t.

Overthinking was one of your talents and you had avoided like you were being chased by wild dogs. You weren’t one to simply go with the flow but Namjoon’s lips on your own had changed your mind. You were too afraid of losing that that you hadn’t allowed yourself to analyze what you were doing, what that meant for you. Namjoon was your hybrid, you may not act like it or think of him like that but you were his owner in the papers. And it wasn’t only Namjoon, the way you cared about the hybrids was different from the way you felt about anyone else. It was all-consuming and too bright. You felt more for them than you had ever felt about Jacob and that was dangerous.

You excused yourself from the event as soon as it was proper for you to do so. Tomorrow morning you had to wake up early for work and you couldn’t stay late into the night. It was true but not the reason you left. Your mother hugged you and thanked you for coming, inviting you once again to their house in New York. She had been inviting you every time you met and you hadn’t once been to their house.

The window of the limousine was cold against your cheek, your foundation staining the glass. Maybe your mother wasn’t that wrong. You didn’t dare put a name to your feelings but you couldn’t deny that they were there. Were you really that lonely that your mind was playing tricks on you? Groaning, you knocked your head against the glass, hard enough to hear a small thud. You shouldn’t be thinking of them like that, it was wrong, so wrong.

Was it the way the world viewed hybrids messing with you, bleeding into your subconscious? They were presented as the answer to any and all desires, transformed into wet dreams. The media had the power to influence behaviors and thoughts little by little without the person noticing. You had thought you were too clever to fall victim to their molded reality. You knocked your head against the glass again, the driver must have been thinking you were crazy.

The limousine parked in front of the Castle. On other nights the lights would have been turned off by now but tonight they were all shinning, welcoming you home. You fished your keys out of your bag and unlocked the door. The lights were on in the living room in the lowest setting.

“Welcome.” You jumped, almost tumbling to the floor at being startled while taking off your heels.

“Every. Single. Time.” Namjoon laughed quietly. “How do you do this every single time?”

“I was already here, I couldn’t make any more noise.” He got up from the couch, extending a hand to you. You took it and he guided you to the couch. “Did you have a good time?”

The dress wrinkled as you pulled one foot under you but you couldn’t care less. “It was… bearable. I didn’t-” You let your head fall on the back of the couch. Seeing Namjoon up close after the night you had, looking at you with soft eyes like you held the sky in the palm of your hand, everything was coming back. What were you doing here? Your heart shouldn’t be racing like that when you were thinking about the wolf hybrid, your hands shouldn’t be itching to touch him.

“You’re here now, you can relax,” he said trailing his hand from your arm to your shoulder and up your neck. Goosebumps raised on your bare skin. “You’re home.” His breath tickled your face, his lips were so close and you wanted, you wanted… You pushed him back.

“I should go take off my makeup. I’m exhausted.”

Namjoon frowned but he didn’t question you. “Okay,” he said softly. “Your bed must be calling your name.”

“It is,” you said slipping away from him. The absence of his touch left a void inside you. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

You went to your room with a heavy heart, leaving Namjoon alone in the living room.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

 You found the offending magazine in a store close to the studios. Copies of it filled a whole stand. The cover was a photo of you with Jin and Jimin in front of the waffle place the day you had taken them with you to the table-reading. It really was front-page news.

In A Stunning Display of Power And Wealth Y/N Y/L/N Adopts Four Hybrids

Straight to the point, every word chosen precisely to attract attention. A display of power and wealth. Of course, that’s what sold copies. That’s what people wanted to read; how one of the richest and most famous directors of your generation was showing off their wealth and power. Hybrids continued to be a sign of money. To adopt four hybrids meant you were crazy rich, but people already knew that when similar headlines had swept all tabloids just a year ago, brought on by the outrageous purchase of the Castle.

Four pages were dedicated to you and your hybrids, completed with more photos of the same day and quotes from “insider sources”. You closed the magazine and went to the counter. The cashier scanned it without glancing at your face, which saved you some trouble. You almost thought you would have to re-enact the comedic scene of the cashier looking at the magazine, then at you, then back at the magazine, then back at you like a robot that had stopped working. You shoved the magazine in your bag, self-conscious of anyone seeing it on you, and went back to the studios.

Filming would begin very soon, which meant you were swamped with work. Everything had to be perfect because that’s the kind of director you were. A perfectionist. If it also gave you an excuse not to think about the hybrids and all of the implications of the flutter of your heart when you were with them, you weren’t complaining. And if you were a little more distant, that could easily be attributed to your work too.

Sleepless nights became too common, your head was too loud and Jimin laying next to you only made it louder.

Filming started and your schedule changed. Most days you still woke up early and returned late at night, but because each scene required a specific time of the day there were nights you came back hours after midnight. You had promised the hybrids you would take them with you on set but every morning you got in the car alone.

Fourth day of filming and unexpected rain forced you to cancel the outside shooting. You only had outside filming that day. You rushed to make adjustments and switch to scenes that could be filmed inside the studios. The crew would need time to prepare everything for the filming so you had been left with the morning off.

You unlocked the door, hiding inside the house from the rain. It hadn’t rained like that in a long time. The heavens had opened up and the rain refused to stop coming down like it was determined to turn Los Angeles into a gigantic lake. Your shoes left puddles wherever you stepped, you would have to mop the floors later. You took them off and placed them by the door. They had suffered the most, the rest of yourself was relatively dry with the exception of the lower part of your pants.

No one was attacking you with hugs as you closed the umbrella someone from the staff had handed you, the hybrids mustn’t have heard you coming in. If they had heard you, you would have had an armful of Jimin and Jungkook by now.

“Oh, hey Yoongi,” you greeted the panther hybrid coming out of the kitchen. Your tactic with Yoongi was to act like you were talking to someone who didn’t strongly dislike you. The scowls and the sneers had decreased turning into a plastic sort of indifference and that’s what made you pause. His scowl could cut you like a knife. “Are you alright?”

Yoongi stalked past you. “What are doing back?” he asked harshly.

You were taken aback for a moment. He hadn’t spoken like that to you since before you had left for Virginia. “I have the morning off because of the rain. Did something happen here?”

“Why do you care?” Yoongi stood by the staircase, his black tail unmoving behind him.

“Why would I not care?” you shot back. The rain had already ruined your plans for the day and caused you enough stress to last you for a few more, you didn’t have enough energy to deal with Yoongi. “Seriously, what happened? Is Hoseok alright?”

A low growl vibrated through the room, you almost took a step back at the threatening sound. “Don’t you speak his name. Was caring for him another way to make you feel powerful? Is this some kind of sick way for you to gain power over someone?”

You were too tired to handle this delicately as you should, you recognized that and proceeded to ignore it. “What the hell is this about? I just came back from work.”

Yoongi scoffed, it was an ugly sound. “Because you have brainwashed everyone else, don’t think I don’t see you for who you are. Have you sold our story yet? About how you saved Hoseok and nursed him back to health? I am sure that will sell many magazines. Show them all how all-powerful you are.”

Through the haze of the day, the words started to click. “You found the magazine.”

“You didn’t try to hide it.” You couldn’t remember where you had left it, it had probably ended up in the stack of magazines under the living room table. “I knew no one would take four hybrids in out of the goodness of their hearts. Did it work? Was it worth it or are you already getting bored? Maybe you should adopt a couple more. Make more headlines.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” you gritted out.

“That’s what you’d like to think,” Yoongi sneered. “All of you are the same. Hiding in your mansions and looking for the next chance to brandish your name. It’s a constant chase of power and standing, isn’t it? And you’ll use anyone you’ll find in your way to climb higher. I know how it is. You can’t fool me. I’ve been dealing with people like you for years!”

Your pants and your wet socks were sticking uncomfortably to your skin. Your head was buzzing. It hurt because that’s everything you had been trying to avoid. Everything you had promised yourself not to become. Everything you had criticized your parents and their circle for. You weren’t like them. You had never been like them.

“You don’t know me, don’t pretend you do,” you said forcefully. “Do you really think that’s how magazines work? I just call them and tell them I want them to write about me? Put me on the front cover? That’s not it. Even if it was, why would I do that? I couldn’t care less about the power-plays you’re talking about. I’m a director and my work speaks for itself. I don’t need magazines to brandish my name because my movies and my shows are more than enough. The paparazzi saw the chance and they took it. Their goal is to sell and their headlines showcase exactly that; what people would buy. I never hid the fact that I adopted hybrids but I wasn’t flaunting it to the media either.”

“Why should I believe you?” Yoongi growled.

You sighed, a sound full of frustration. “Frankly, I don’t see what else I could do to make you believe me! I tended to Hoseok. I didn’t ask any questions. I tried hard not to cross any boundaries and to make you feel welcome. What more do you want me to do?”

“Nothing,” Yoongi said simply. “Nothing you do can change my mind.”

It was like a stone dropped in the pit of your stomach. You shouldn’t have expected anything else. Yoongi had been through a lot, that much was clear, but it was unfair that he was taking out everything on you. You were paying for the scars other humans had inflicted on him.

“I’m not who you think I am.”

“You don’t know what I think.”

“It’s pretty clear,” you muttered. “Alright, I can’t change your mind, I won’t even try. I know how to pick my battles. But if you really despise me so much then why bother? Nothing you say will change anything. Are you trying to uncover some hidden truth about me and how evil I am? Then what?”

The fur on Yoongi’s tail and ears stood on end. “I don’t care. I don’t care about you, about what you have done and what you will do as long as we’re gone from here. I don’t care for your charity or your pity. Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted to be here in the first place?”

You swallowed, willing your heart rate to calm down. “Then tell Hoseok and Jimin yourself. The keys are by the door.”

You didn’t wait for Yoongi to say anything else, turning around and locking yourself in your room. You laid down on your bed, your hands gripping your hair. The exhaustion this time was beyond physical, beyond mental. Your hands retreated from your hair, sliding down your cheeks. Your fingers were wet.

Later when Jimin and Jungkook knocked on the door, you had to open the door or risk worrying them. They jumped on the bed and snuggled close to you. You held your phone waiting for the call to go to the studios.

You didn’t face any new problems with filming. The actors were all incredible, seemingly one with their characters. You did a lot of filming at 300 Fox Way, the psychic’s house with its mystic aura and weirdly compelling assortment of objects. You instructed the actors, talked with the crew, and analyzed the script down to each comma. Focusing on anything other than Yoongi’s words and your hybrids had turned into an art form.

The sleepless nights didn’t cease, you and the moonlight had become good friends. Jimin’s visits to your room thinned out. He had noticed you pulling away. You didn’t hug him anymore or kissed his forehead before falling asleep, you couldn’t come to terms with doing that after everything that had happened. You had thought that maybe you would sleep better alone but that had been proved false soon after.

You got out of bed for the fourth night in a row. Every position was uncomfortable. Keeping your steps light you left the room. The large house was eerie at night, the living room area with its glass walls looked endless, combining the actual living room, the dining room, and what the real estate agents had called the family room that was really just another living room.

You couldn’t stay in your room on nights like these, it was too contained. The night air on your skin sent shivers down your frame as you walked out on the balcony. It was two days before the full moon and its glow illuminated the world.

What had you gotten yourself into? You wished you could go back to that morning and decline your mother’s invitation to the gala. Maybe, just maybe, then you would be able to sleep, your head wouldn’t be fighting you at every turn, at every chance.

Little pieces of moonlight shimmered and danced on the lake. The calmness of the world was a stark contrast to the mess in your head. You remembered how Jungkook had looked at the lake in awe that very first night, you had noticed then that he looked at Jimin the same way. You wondered how you looked at them and if anyone had noticed.

The moon had no answers for you.

Two golden eyes were looking up at you from the garden, they shone like the fires that had been extinguished earlier. Namjoon tilted his head, inviting you down. A weird sense of deja vu took over. You had lived something very similar before, a night that had changed so much.

You shouldn’t go. You should stay where you were, alone and safe, away from fluttering heartbeats and dangerous warmth. But the night had its way of calling out the risky nature of people. The thrill was so much more enticing when darkness ruled.

Climbing down the stairs, you kept your steps quiet. You never knew which sound would wake up the hybrids. Namjoon was standing by the flower bushes close to the curtain of vines that lead into the forest. He was wearing a dark blue pair of pajama pants and a simple black T-shirt.

“What are you doing awake so late?” you whispered, like everything around you had ears.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

You shook your head. “I have trouble sleeping, remember?”

Namjoon had caught you a few times wandering the house at night, he was the only one who knew that a lot of nights sleep didn’t come to you willingly. His own nightly adventures were more complicated.

“Why are you awake?” you asked him again. “Please don’t tell me you smelled distress or something again or I’ll freak.”

Namjoon chuckled, you had missed it. Keeping your distance meant you only saw them for barely two hours every day. They all tried to not make too much noise with you in the constant mood of ‘tired and gloomy’.

“No, that’s not it.” He looked up, over the trees. “It’s the full moon.”

“You have to be kidding me. Do you turn into a wolf too?”

Namjoon raised his hands in surrender, his dimples on full display. “I’m joking, I’m joking. I couldn’t sleep either and I like being outside at night like this. It’s peaceful.”

You couldn’t disagree with that. There was something alluring about the quiet of the night. You would describe yourself more as a morning person than a night owl but both of them were true, waking up early for work then staying up late for it too.

“Are you alright?” The smile had fallen from his lips.

You squirmed under the intensity of his gaze. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Filming takes a lot out of me.”

Namjoon sighed. “Are you sure that’s all there is? You have been acting differently, did you think we wouldn’t notice?”

You knew they would notice but you had hoped they would think it was because of your work. Work did take a lot out of you but it also used to be the reason you were so much happier returning home.

“It has been going on for too long. You don’t spend any time outside your room or your office if it isn’t to eat. You are avoiding us. Jimin and Jungkook stopped scenting you because they think they’re making you uncomfortable.”

“It isn’t- They aren’t making me uncomfortable. I’m just tired from work and I don’t-” you tried to deny it but you fell short of excuses.

“You were working before too, but it wasn’t like this,” he pointed out. “You were tired then too. Some nights you came back and I could smell the exhaustion around you like a disease. But you smiled when Jimin and Jungkook ran up to you and didn’t let you go, you laughed at Jin laughing at his own jokes. You came to me when it got too loud here.” He pointed to your head.

“We weren’t filming then.” It was a weak attempt but you had to make it.

Namjoon regarded you carefully. Beams of moonlight got tangled in his gray hair turning it silver. He looked at home right there at that moment, close to the trees with the moon shining on him. He was every bit of magic you had ever witnessed.

“This started before filming did. I knew there was something wrong when you came back from the gala. Something happened there,” Namjoon concluded. “I should have come with you.”

You shook your head vigorously. Imagining him next to you while your mother spoke about hybrids like that was torture. “No, you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have been with me.” You paused to compose yourself. “It wasn’t good, it was really bad actually. It wasn’t the gala itself, there some interesting people and… My mother…” You took a deep breath. “I don’t think I like my parents very much,” you admitted.

It was hard to say after years of half-hearted attempts at mending your relationship with them. All those years apart you had become very different people. You had trouble remembering what they were like before they left you in your aunt’s care. You couldn’t see any traces of them in yourself, you didn’t enjoy what they enjoyed, your interests and priorities, the way you viewed the world were very different.

In the past few days, you had grown to hate your mother’s voice in your head but you had a feeling that it had been much longer than that. The only difference was that before, you had been able to ignore it.

Namjoon came closer, his hand touching your palm waiting for you to make the first move. You took his hand in yours, laying your head on his chest. “That’s alright. You don’t have to like them, no one is forcing you to.”

“But they are my parents.”

He stroked your back gently. “It doesn’t matter, that isn’t enough of a reason.”

“They aren’t bad people.”

“They don’t need to be bad people for you to dislike them.”

You stayed like that for a few moments, taking in his presence. You had missed being in his arms so much, like an ache that couldn’t go away.

He stopped stroking your back, cupping your cheek and pulling back so you were facing each other. “I’m always here for you. I don’t care about anything else but seeing you happy. I’m here.”

“I missed you,” you admitted like it was a secret.

Namjoon smiled softly. “I missed you too.” His thumb caressed your lower lip. There was a tingling sensation all over your skin. “Can I?” he asked just like the very first time.

You let out a shuddering breath. “Should we be doing this?”

“Do you want to?” he asked carefully.

You bit your lip before nodding. He leaned down connecting your lips. It was soft and careful, all the longing and hurt of the past days poured into the kiss. You pulled him closer and he came willingly. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

An awful laugh cut through the night. You pulled away from Namjoon like you had been burnt. Yoongi was one with the night, dark like a shadow.

“So this is it? Is this why you adopted them all? So you can have your pick when you’re in the mood?” The expression on his face was cruel, twisted up in disgust.

Namjoon growled, his sharp canines shinning in the moonlight. In that moment, Namjoon looked more dangerous than ever before. “Shut your mouth.”

“I see she has turned you into her dog. How long did it take to tame you?”

You held Namjoon back before he could lunge at the panther. You were afraid that if you let him go, there would blood on their clothes. “Don’t.”

Yoongi took a tense step forward. “That’s right, listen to your owner. Is that what she has turned all of you into? Her toys? Just for a roof over your head and food?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Namjoon growled. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Yoongi clenched his fists. There was anger and something else you couldn’t see in the night amidst your panic. “I knew it. I knew no one did what you did without any kind of agenda. Seems like the magazine was right, at least in part. You can’t fool me, even if you managed to fool everyone else.”

With that he was gone, like he was never there.

You couldn’t breathe. Your hand was still wrapped around Namjoon’s wrist and you couldn’t breathe. You counted in your head. One, two, three…

When Namjoon tried to touch your shoulder, you pulled away. “I’m going back to my room,” you said. Your voice sounded shaky to your own ears. Namjoon called out to you but you didn’t stop. He didn’t try to touch you again.

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing

[babymetaldoll]

Don’t be a d!ck (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes! :) Spencer is jealous when he sees a picture of a dick on his girlfriend's phone

Summary: Spencer Reid can't believe it when he finds something shocking in his girlfriend's phone. And, of course, instead of asking her about it, he spends a whole day overthinking everything.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

Category: Fluff with mentions of sex and maybe a dash of angst. How would you call that? Flmut? smuff? flangut?

Warnings: Spencer being passive-aggressive. Sex references, cursing as always.

Word count: 2,3K

A/N: I loved this request so much!! hope you like it @meowiemari​

- "Pumpkin! have you seen my phone?"- Spencer asked his girlfriend after looking for it in every corner of their apartment, not finding it.

- "No, Honey! Did you look in your bag?"- she yelled from the bathroom, where she was getting ready to leave for work. The two of them worked together at the BAU, and they were late. There was no time for breakfast, just coffee... and finding Spencer's phone.

- "It's not there! can I use yours to call my phone?"

- "Sure! it's on my nightstand"

Spencer kept trying to remember where he had left his phone, but nothing came to mind because he usually didn't use it. He always kept it in his bag. Maybe someone had stolen it; they might have taken it from his bag. No, he had called his mother the night before, so he was sure it had to be somewhere in the house.

(Y/N)'s cellphone was precisely where she had said it was. He hated that. She always remembered where she had left her things. Spencer did too, but sometimes he was too concentrated reading a book. Or rambling about anything... or kissing (Y/N). Those things made him forget where the unimportant things were, for example, his phone.

He was about to joke about it and tell (Y/N) she was hiding his phone to mess with him, but when he unlocked hers, his heart stopped, and he nearly dropped it. Her phone's wallpaper... it was a picture... of... a... dick.

And it wasn't his.

There was a dick. Cock. Penis. And it wasn't his.

He tried to understand what was going on, but it made no sense: there was a fully hard male sexual organ. And. It. Wasn't. His.

- "Honey? Did you find it?"- (Y/N) asked and walked out of the bathroom. Spencer dialed his number in silence and waited until he heard it ringing in the kitchen.

- "Got it!"- he answered and put it in his pocket- "I'll wait in the car"- and without giving his girlfriend time to reply, he left the apartment.

Why on earth would (Y/N) do that? Wasn't he enough? Was she cheating? Whose cock was it? And how was he going to ask her? If she put that picture there, anyone could see it. Didn't she care?

.

- "Honey, are you listening?"- (Y/N) asked him as Spencer drove to the BAU. He had been quiet, tangled in all the doubts and questions that picture had filled his mind with. And he was unable to talk. Unable to simply ask (Y/N) what was that all about.

- "Yes, I'm fine"- he replied, serious and curt. (Y/N) looked at him and raised an eyebrow, confused.

- "Are you sure? you sound upset"

- "If I tell you I'm fine, it's because I'm fucking fine!"- and with that sentence, Spencer Reid ended any kind of conversation with his girlfriend. (Y/N) knew if he were mad about something, he would take his time to process it. And if she pushed him, he was going to freak out, yell and even say hurtful things. That's how Spencer had always been, and she wasn't going to change that.

.

- "Hey! are you ok?"- Morgan stood next to Spencer in the kitchenette. He had noticed his friend hadn't said a word the whole morning, and Derek knew his friend good enough to know that wasn't right.

- "Yeah"- Reid answered coldly and poured a cup of coffee- "So, you don't have any random facts to share with me? No rambling? no..."

- "No, Morgan, I have nothing to say!"- Spencer just snapped at his friend, and he stared at him, surprised

- "Sorry. I'm just..."- Reid was frustrated and embarrassed. He didn't know how to handle what had happened. Maybe Morgan could help. He trusted his friend, as long as he wouldn't tell Penelope.

- "Sorry"- Reid whispered and took a look around. The coast was clear. No one could hear if he shared his thoughts with Morgan, but... he had no idea how to tell him what had happened.

- "Did you fight with (Y/N)? whatever it is that you did, just say you are sorry"

- "No! we didn't... wait, what makes you think I would be the one doing something wrong?"- Derek shrugged and grabbed a mug. He also needed caffeine.

- "I'm just trying to help"

- "You are not helping!"

- "Then tell me what happened, pretty boy. You can deny it all you want, but you are too easy to read. Something is bothering you"

- "Ok, listen, I'm gonna tell you, but you have to swear you won't tell Garcia"

- "Cross my heart and hope to die"- Derek answered, chuckling. It was apparent he wasn't taking Spencer's words seriously.

- "I mean it. It would help if you didn't tell her or anyone. This is between you and me, ok?"- Spencer looked at Derek straight into the eyes and raised an eyebrow, trying to make his point. His friend nodded and happed on his shoulder.

- "You've got my word."

- "Hey! what are you guys doing here?"- (Y/N) walked in and smiled at her boyfriend- "How's your morning going?"

- "Good. Excuse me"- and just like that, Spencer walked in silence back to his desk.

- "What was that?"- (Y/N) asked Morgan- "Did you guys argue?"

- "No! I thought you argued"

- "No, we haven't. He has been acting pretty odd, though"

- "(Y/N), you know he is pretty o...."

- "He is not odd!"- (Y/N) interrupted her friend before he could even finish talking- "I'm gonna find out what's wrong with that man."

.

But her plans of talking with her boyfriend were quickly discarded when Hotch asked her to help JJ looking for some files. And that task took the two SSA the rest of the morning... and most of the afternoon.

.

- "Are you gonna tell me?"- Morgan sat on Spencer's desk and looked at him. He hadn't gotten any work done that whole time. He had been staring at a blank page, holding a pen, trying to come up with the words to write (Y/N) a letter.

Letters were Spencer's way to rearrange his thoughts. He didn't usually give her the letter he wrote her. He would just use it to collect himself. He knew he was an asshole when he was mad, and he always made his best not to be one with her.

- "Your lady is with JJ"- Derek added when Spencer started looking around. Rossi was in his office talking with Prentiss. Hotch locked in his office with Strauss, and Penelope probably in her Batcave.

- "So, pretty Ricky. Spit it"

- "Ok..."- Spencer closed his eyes for a second and tried to find the right words to tell Morgan what had happened without making (Y/N) look like a perv. That was almost impossible.

- "Ok"- Spencer repeated and opened his mouth. Nothing came from it.

- "So"- he said and held his breath. Nothing.

- "Reid, this has to be serious, 'cos I had never seen you losing your words before"

- "Well... I don't know how to tell you what happened"

- "Go straight to the facts. What happened, man?- Morgan would tell himself he was worried about his friend, but the truth was he was a nosy guy. He was way too intrigued with what had happened between Reid and (Y/N) and couldn't focus on his work.

- "I couldn't find my phone this morning, and I asked (Y/N) if I could use hers to call me"- Spencer made a pause and felt how his cheeks were already red, in a mix of anger and embarrassment.

- "Ok, and?"

- "And that's when I found out I'm dating a pervert"- Reid closed his eyes and rested his head against the desk. Morgan frowned, confused, and waited for his friend to give him more details. But Reid didn't say another word.

- "What are you talking about?"- that was all Morgan could say- "What makes you think (Y/N) is a pervert?"

- "Because she!"- Spencer looked around and whispered/yelled at his friend - "She has someone's dick as her phone background, and it ain't mine!!"

If someone earlier that day would have said to Derek: "Today, you will know the most embarrassing secret of one of your best friends", he would have never guessed that would be it.

- "Are you sure?!"- Morgan asked, whispering/yelling too, making his best not to laugh because Spencer didn't look like he was joking.

- "I am sure! I saw it! It was a dick! where did she take that picture from??! is she cheating?!"

- "No, Reid, come on. Don't panic!"- Morgan didn't know what to say, but he made his best to calm his friend down- "There's probably an explanation for it"

- "And what is it? 'cos the only logical explanation I can find is that my girlfriend is not satisfied with me. Maybe she has been looking for..."- Spencer couldn't even finish his sentence. He bit his tongue and held his breath.

- "Kid, you just have to calm down and ask (Y/N) what it's all about. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all this. She wouldn't cheat on you. Trust me."

.

Despite his friend's words, Spencer was miserable for the rest of the day. (Y/N) and JJ kept looking for some missing files that Hotch needed to close an investigation. Meanwhile, Spencer just sat alone, didn't work at all, and all he could think of was the picture on (Y/N)'s phone. It was killing him.

When (Y/N) called him to ask if he wanted to have lunch with her, he said he wasn't hungry. When she got him a donut to cheer his day, he didn't even smile. And when she tried to kiss him, he turned around and left.

It was bad.

(Y/N) had no idea what was going on, and Spencer kept trying to avoid her. Until they bumped into each other at the hall, and (Y/N) grabbed his sleeve to stop him when he started walking away from her

- "Ok, we need to talk"

- "What about?"- Spencer looked at her, trying to calm himself down, but he couldn't. No matter how badly he tried.

- "Can you stop being a dick with me?"- and Spencer chuckled

- "That's a very interesting word you just choose, (Y/N)"

- "What are you talking about? what's your problem?"

- "You know very well what my problem is!"- but she didn't. She honestly had no idea what Spencer was talking about. And when she didn't answer, he grabbed her arm and crawled her to the storage room.

- "Spen..."

- "Whose dick is it??!"- Reid nearly shouted. His face was red in anger, and his hands were shaking.

- "What?"

- "Don't try to look all innocent! you know what I'm talking about!"

- "Spencer, I have no idea what you are talking about"- (Y/N) whispered, trying to calm him down. But it didn't work.

x- "The dick on your phone!! whose is it?!"

(Y/N) looked at her boyfriend and didn't move a muscle. She had never seen him so upset before.

- "You saw my phone's wallpaper this morning?"- she asked him calmly, and he grunted immediately.

- "If I saw it? Of course, I did! how couldn't I notice there is a picture of someone's cock on my girlfriend's phone!?"

- "Someone's"- she repeated and crossed her arms on her chest- "You think I'd have some random dick on my phone?!"

- "I don't know! you tell me!"

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you are a genius, but that doesn't stop you from being an asshole sometimes"- (Y/N) took the phone and showed him the picture- "That's you!! I accidentally set the picture as my wallpaper this morning and forgot to change it!! do you want to see the whole photo shoot to make sure that's you? 'cos you were the one who took the pictures, by the way!!"

(Y/N) looked at him, waiting for an apology, and Spencer was so embarrassed he didn't know what to do. She was right. He had taken those pictures. It all came to his mind that second.

- "Pumpkin...."

- "It's your dick, Spencer"

- "I..."- he couldn't answer

- "And you thought I had someone else's dirty pictures on my phone?"- she whispered, watching how her boyfriend's face changed from angry to shock in a second.

- "I just..."

- "What? you thought I was a pervert?"- Spencer really didn't know what to say

- "I'm so sorry"- he whispered and bit his lips- "I was a dick"

- "You were"- (Y/N) nodded and crossed her arms on her chest- "Why didn't you just ask me right away?"

- "I don't know, I was just so... mad and..."- Spencer looked down at his shoes and pouted. (Y/N) knew she should be mad at him for acting like a jerk the whole day, but she couldn't. Why? because she knew underneath it all, he was just a boy scared to be rejected.

- "Come here"- she held his hands and took a step closer to him- "Look at me, honey"- he did, for a second, and then looked away- "Eyes on me, Spencer, I need to make sure you understand what I'm about to say"

- "(Y/N), I am so sorry, I..."

- "I know you are sorry"- she whispered and leaned in, pecking his lips- "And I am not mad at you. But I need you to understand something. I love you. I don't want anybody else. Ok?"- he blushed as she kept looking at him.

- "I'm sorry"- he whispered again and leaned over, resting his forehead on hers - "I thought..."

- "You are everything I need, and everything I want, ok?"- she muttered, and he sighed- "And you should start recognizing your own dick, Spencer. I can't believe you didn't know it was yours"- (Y/N) giggled and kissed Spencer's lips again- "Maybe we should start taking more pictures."- she whispered, and Reid shook his head.

- "I don't deserve you."

- "But you are stuck with me, so deal with your perv,"- she answered and giggled- "Now give me a kiss to make it up for a shitty day"- Spencer wrapped his arms around her and kissed deeply. The kind of kiss that made her feel weak on the knees.

- "What if you teach me how to change my phone's background?"- he whispered, and (Y/N) smiled.

- "As long as I am the one taking the pictures now."

.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Second Letter To Tim. [Kayte was sent out on a solo mission. Someone managed to time travel and she has to put them out. Coincidently, it's one of those Zalgo's allies. Therefore, a danger to their existence. The letter was not written in her handwriting]

Dear love, I pray you are doing well. Have you eaten yet? Make sure to drink enough water and don't forget to take your pills! Haha, I worry about you too much don't I. Despite knowing you could take care of yourself. You know me, always overthinking...

Sorry, I didn't answer your letter as soon as you thought. The chocolate hearts were delicious <3, I saved some to eat them with you. Wildflowers? I guess I do get a little wild haha. You remember I have a flu problem. Remember that one time we got sick together after playing in the rain for too long? Haha, we were quarantined in the same room which gave us the advantage to spend time together longer.

To be honest, these few days have been...hectic. If you weren't informed by the Boss, I am currently on a solo mission. A stupid genius managed to...time travel. I am not sure how but I'm guessing Zalgo gave them the ability to do so.

I can't give you too much info, I'm sorry. ...... <3

Tim, take care of yourself hm? I haven't seen you in months. The damn Boss has been keeping you away from me. Maybe he's jealous that he's single hahaha. Or he doesn't want me to see you at all due to this mission I think. Also, I lost an arm. The dang guy just chopped it off with a knife. Now I am left with one arm, like a pirate! hahah.

How are things? Do you miss me? I hope you dream of me...? Remember, I love you very much. Even my heart can't take it haha. I look forward to seeing you, darling! When you come back, we could go out maybe. Stay at home, bake, have cooking fights or just cuddle! Cheesy romantic couple stuff y'know. Also to eat the chocolate hearts with you!

I hate this. I hate not seeing you at all for days. I hate that I sleep and wake up alone. I hate this fate I am tied to. But it fades... After months of missing you, it feels normal to me.

I sometimes wonder how you could love me... But here we are, a happy long-distance couple. Even if we are apart, I doubt we would be forever.

Thank you, Love. Thank you very much.

[The letter was sent with the black dahlia ring that Kayte always wore and a polaroid picture of the both of them, "I love you ∞" written at the back. A note was also sent with it *he reads the note after composing a reply to her letter*]

Note: Tim, she didn't come back after three days as she promised. We're not sure what has happened to her. She probably...died. I can't be sure, none of us can. It worried us more when the letter was slightly bloodstained. I took a test and, unfortunately, it was hers. I'm sorry. [Her letter was in Japanese, we had Kage translate it. I wrote it back in English] She sent the letter using a pigeon. The pigeon died after 5 hours. I'm guessing it was from another time. The letter was received on the third day. It's been a week since the letter was received. There were no more letters until now. -EJ-

[Disclaimer: Letters To Those You Hold Dear (Valentine's Edition) is a special event I'm holding from February 13th - February 23rd 11:59 PM. Find the guidelines HERE so you can send a letter or two to those you hold dear <3.]

[AN: I genuinely... Did not know how to respond to this one? So this is a very special exception. No other letters will be answered in this manner.]

Tim has never known normal.

He wasn't born normal, far from it in fact. When Tim was brought into the world, kicking, screaming, praying to be anything but a life that was taking breath and a beating heart, he gained the attention of something old and ancient. An archaic being that hungered for power and control far beyond the comprehension of human minds, a being that wanted him for reasons that seemed frivolous to human standards.

He was a troubled child. His parents, ill equipped to deal with what they thought were mental health issues (which were only exacerbated by the pale man in a suit) locked him into an institution. He would scream at all hours of the night, and pray for the morning light to grace him.

A long, long time ago, when Tim was "brighter eyed" and in love with the world, and that notion in itself is a bit of a lie because the gods both above and below know much the world loved him in response, Tim was content with the normalcy afforded to him. He'd been getting better, healthier, he was in every sense, normal. He had a deep desire to fade into the background, stay being friends with Brian, and have a normal life.

When the tall suited man let Tim's presence slip slightly from his long, spindly fingers, Tim was almost happy. Almost pleased with his lot in life. And then everything went to hell. Jay just had to curious. Jay had to keep pushing the boundaries, and Alex was damn near unstoppable. Brian died for the first time. Amy was killed too, but Jessica? He hoped she was safe somewhere, far, far away from the mess that was their years after college and the twilight of what he considered normalcy.

Tim hasn't felt heart broken since he lost Jay.

The man in the suit picked him up shortly after that. He promised Tim the opportunity to bring back his very best friend as long as he was in service for him. Not wanting to be alone any longer, he accepted, practically sold his soul but he had Brian.

Brian was furious. He almost killed Tim for what he'd done, reanimating a body that was screaming it shouldn't be alive and that it was going against the laws of nature itself. But eventually, he calmed down. Hoodie took his place as Tim's right hand, and then came in Toby, and then Kate.

That was his new normal, and his new sense of how the world turns.

And then things changed again, as they always do. He met someone, another proxy, and her name was Kayte. And he loved Kayte as much as any proxy should love someone, is even capable of loving someone. His love for them was something soft, sweet, subtle but powerful. It was like how the sun would shine on the earth, bathing him in her light until he could spring back upwards, plants reaching sky high as a testament to how he longed so deeply to be close to her.

Proxies aren't afforded good things. That is a rule that has not changed in centuries. Proxies don't deserve good things. And for a long time, Tim would have subscribed to this idea. He messed up and decided to forego his strict following of this rule to give all of his love to Kayte, and with it came the pain of receiving letters. His eyes scanned over the material, reading it in a handwriting foreign to the one he was used to, his own heart racing like he'd been running miles without rest. That cold feeling of something twisting in his gut told him all he needed before he reached Jack's addendum.

He's thrown back into that same type of despair he felt losing Jay and what he felt when he lost Brian for that brief stint. It's a cold, clutching type of painful that refuses to leave him. It was buried for a while, and losing her was what caused it to resurface.

Proxies aren't afforded good things. Everyone knows this.

Tim doesn't, but Masky certainly does.