#and the visual gag of her pegging him

[youngpettyqueen]

I know he's joking but Hawkeye really does pull a "run away with me" with Margaret huh

[stinkyme]

Can I request Mushitaro Nsfw, please? The reader pegs Mushitaro. He turns her on with how messed out he looks and his voice, adding another sex with overstim on both sides, the reader struggling to take the whole length of Mushi in her.

Hello! Of course you can, I hope you will like it and enjoy this! :) <3

PS. I hope you meant another round by another sex lol, also I added oral so overstimulation would make a bit of sense for the reader and I didn't really focus too much on "struggling" part because reader is already wet so yeah, I wanted to make it natural, I hope you don't mind :)

CW/TW: NSFW, fem!reader, established relationship, masturbation!Mushi, switch dynamic but reader is more dominant, porn with slight plot :3, pegging, praise & degrade for Mushi, using tie as gag (Mushi), tying up (Mushi), vaginal fingering, oral!fem receiving, overstimulation, creampie, Mushitaro might be OOC, if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

Take care of me, please || Mushitaro Oguri x Reader

You had some business to finish today, leaving Mushitaro alone at home. He was needier than usual and walking in the shared bedroom, you had an amusing sight to see. Mushitaro was almost fully naked besides tie loosely hanging around his neck and was desperately trying to get himself off, high pitched whimpers continuously escaping his throat. His eyes widened when he saw you observing his pathetic state.

"Go on..." you were teasing him, eyes slowly moving and focusing on his throbbing cock.

"If you wish not to cum for a week at least, that is." your voice grew malicious with a slight hint of sadism making Mushitaro unwrap his cock. He got off the bed, practically falling on his knees in front of you, his face expression was a mixture of painful horniness and embarrassment.

"You understand, don't you?" you asked Mushitaro who was kneeling in front of you, tone sharp and sly. You leaned towards him, fingers gently lifting up his face.

"You can't be needy when I am busy." you whispered out, your cold gaze meeting his desperate one.

"I mean...you can but you can't act on it, I think we made that clear, didn't we darling?" you emphasized the rules for him once again making Mushitaro nod obediently.

"I am sorry..I just..needed you..so badly." his voice was breaking at the end of the sentence making your lips curl in a satisfied smirk.

"I am here now, tell me what you want." you were comforting him through a slickerish voice as your fingers moved to caress his soft cheek.

"Take care of me, please." he was practically begging in a pitiable tone, voice breaking more with each word. Pleased and satisfied smile appeared on your lips, you were wrapping your hand underneath his jaw, pulling him closer to your face, lips parting quickly and your tongues syncing in passionate pace. Mushitaro was whimpering throughout the kiss making your lower tummy fill up with needy heat.

"Be a good boy and get on the bed for me." you ordered through a whisper, breaking the kiss as a little string of saliva was connecting your lips. Mushitaro did as told and sat on bed meanwhile you started taking your clothes off. You were visually teasing already painfully hard Mushitaro, slowly taking your shirt off and dropping it on the floor. You undid the zipper of your skirt and started agonizingly slow to pull it down your hips. You let it drop on the floor as you turned around, slowly rolling down your tights and bending over in the process, torturing Mushitaro's lack of touch of your body even more. You got out of them and turned around leaving your body mostly exposed besides your bra and panties. You went to the drawer and took out the purple strapon as well as a bottle of lube. You put them both on the wooden desk next to you in order to take your panties and bra off. Mushitaro's lustful gaze kept following you, not taking his eyes off of you even once. You swiftly unhooked your bra, letting it slide down your shoulders and arms and drop on the floor, exposing your chest. You put two fingers on your tongue, moving them down and circling on one of your nipples, teasing Mushitaro further. You let out a small moan escape your lips as you moved it between your fingers, gently twirling it. Mushitaro's cock started twitching, small drops of precum sliding down his tip as he kept watching you. You put the other two fingers on your tongue and started repeating the process on your other nipple, continuously playing with both at the same time. You let out soft moans, making Mushitaro's cock throb more.

"Please.." Mushitaro was practically sobbing out, little tears forming in the corners of his eyes as his cock grew painful for stimulation. You moved your hands down your waistline, thumbs sneaking under the fabric of your panties. You pulled them down, letting them drop on your ankles, finally completely naked. You stepped out from them, grabbing the strapon and started adjusting the harness around your hips. You were keeping your gaze on Mushitaro as you squeezed out a medium amount of lube on your palm, slowly rubbing it on the strapon. You were slowly moving your hand up and down further teasing Mushitaro. You started walking towards him as he positioned himself on the edge of the bed, eager for your touch.

"You really are a pathetic man, aren't you?" you asked in a teasing, cunning tone, slowly kneeling in front of him. You put your hands under his thighs, gently rubbing them, hands moving back and forth. Mushitaro was frowning in desperation and neediness as you swiftly lifted his legs up. His back fell on the mattress as you pushed his legs on his chest, putting him in amazon pose and exposing his ass perfectly. 

"Just like that, good boy." you praised as you began lining up the strap with his needy hole, teasing him with the cold tip. He started twitching from a cold sensation on his sensitive skin and you started slowly pushing it inside, a loud whimper escaping Mushitaro's throat. You pushed it inside completely and started thrusting slowly, stretching him out with your movement. You put your hands on his thighs, pushing them further into his upper body as you kept the slow movement, letting him adjust. Mushitaro was already whimpering, needy sensitivity washing over him, eyes filled with blissfulness and lust. You started thrusting slightly faster as you kept observing his reactions, nails gently digging inside the sensitive skin of his thighs. 

"Ah-, ye-, yeah." he was whimpering out as you let go of his thighs, your body leaning over his and penetrating him deeper. You put your knee on the bed, gesturing to him to move further away and make room for you. He picked up, messily moving away as your body followed, strapon still inside his pathetic hole.

"Much better." you smiled softly but your gaze was filled with a burning desire to ruin him. You leaned over his frame once again, steadily thrusting inside him as you fastened up your movement. Mushitaro kept letting out broken whines, desperately clenching around the strap as his cock began twitching more and more. He grabbed the tie and put it inside his mouth as he was trying to keep silent, muffled whining filling up the room. A sly smirk appeared on your face as you kept watching him struggle. You started thrusting faster inside him, continuously pressing his sensitive spot inside making it harder for him to stay quiet. He used one of his hands and started squeezing the sheets as your skin kept loudly smacking into his with each thrust. You moved your hands under his thighs and pushed them further, pulling away from him as you kept your pace inside him. He became more sensitive from being bent over more, breathily choking out pathetic snivels as he started biting into the tie.

"Be a good boy for me, let me hear you." you were teasing him in a seductive tone as the corners of his eyes began filling up with desperate tears due to stimulation. Mushitaro's body was tense, chest sharply lifting and falling as broken whines kept getting muffled by the tie. You stopped moving completely and he whined out, desperate for you to keep going.

"Do you want to be a good boy and cum today? Hm?" you questioned him coldly, tilting your head to the side. He was nodding messily, trying to move down to get friction from the strap.

"Oh no, that's not going to work." you told him slyly as you kept his thighs locked on this chest.

"Take the tie out, I want to hear how pathetic of a slut you are for me." you told him softly but your gaze was a mixture of cold and burning desire making him obey your order almost immediately. He took the tie out of his mouth, letting it fall on his chest. 

"Good boy. I like it when you are obedient." you praised, moving your hands away from his thighs and undoing his tie. 

"Your hands, please." you ordered politely and he put his hands together. You were wrapping the tie around his wrists as you kept observing his face simultaneously; Mushitaro's eyebrows were tense in a needy manner, eyes filled with nothing but pathetic desire to be fucked by you. You finished tying his wrists, making sure it was not loose. Mushitaro put his hands over his head, making you smile cunningly as you started thrusting inside him once again. You begin your pace slowly, making sure he feels every single motion inside him. Mushitaro's whines almost immediately started filling up the room as his eyes rolled backwards. You moved your hands underneath his thighs once again and pushed them on his chest as you started moving your hips slightly faster making Mushitaro's chest and hips twitch and convulse as his cock started leaking more precum. He was dragging his tied hands up and down as loud whimpers kept filling up the room. You suddenly began to move even faster, making a sharp moan leave his throat as you continuously kept pressing his g-spot. Mushitaro was breathing heavily, sobbing out sharp whimpers as he was getting closer and closer to his orgasm. You moved one of your hands between his legs, wrapping his cock in it and started stroking it slowly.

"Mghm, yeah, plea-, ah." Mushitaro was choking his appreciation and pleasure out as you kept your pace inside him. Watching him being so ruined and desperate for you made your core fill up with intense heat. You started stroking him faster as he kept choking out whimpers, whole body jerking as his back started arching. 

"I am so, clo-, ah, close." he was smothering his words out, his cock leaking more precum and twitching inside your hand. You fastened your pace inside him, thrusting vigorously and pressing his sensitive spots as he was getting closer and louder. Little tears rolled down his cheeks as his eyes kept rolling back due to all the stimulation you provided for him. You started stroking his cock even faster and almost instantly sharp sobs escaped Mushitaro's parted lips as he finally reached his orgasm. Huge whips of cum kept falling on his twitching tummy and you kept your pace inside him as you slowed down the strokes on his cock. He let out one last shrill moan as his intense orgasm slowly started melting away. He was breathing incoherently, chest raising and falling sharply as weak guttural whimpers of his filled your ears due to you slowing down your movement.

"Very good, very good boy." you were praising as he was completely dumbfounded, eyelids hanging lowly and a little string of drool sparkling in the corner of his lips as well as slight blushing spreading over his cheeks. You slowly pulled out, leaving his messed up hole alone and got up to take the harness off. Once again, watching him in this ruined state provided you with a lingering desire to have more of him. You left a strap on the wooden desk and took a towel from the closet and went back to Mushitaro, cleaning away the cum off of his tummy.

"You did a very good job for me, can you handle more baby?" you asked him teasingly as you wiped away the last bits of mess and got up to put the towel in the laundry basket. You came back on the bed, noticing his cock was rock hard once again, probably from your teasing proposition.

"Ah, so needy." you kept teasing as you started undoing the tie that was around his wrists. You put it on the bed as Mushitaro's gaze kept tracing over your body.

"Let me please you back, Y/N." he was pleading in a desperate tone as you were leaning in, lips quickly meeting in a passionate kiss as he moved his body towards yours, making you lay down. He was towering over you as he broke the kiss, slowly moving down your body and placing soft, quick kisses on your neck, chest and further on your tummy. He positioned himself between your legs, resting one of his hands on your knee as his fingers of the other hand started teasing your entrance. You were already pretty wet from watching him before, two of his fingers slipping inside you easily as you let out a soft moan. He started moving his fingers in and out of you, slightly curling them to give you more pleasure as he kept stimulating your sensitive spot. He was slowly moving down as his slickerish eyes kept observing your face. He swiftly wrapped his other hand around your thigh, fingers still thrusting in and out of you as he gave your needy clit one kitten lick making you twitch. He started moving in steadier movement, the tip of his wet tongue circling on your clit as his fingers kept stimulating your sensitive spot inside your wet cunt. You let out a sigh of pleasure as Mushitaro wrapped his lips around your clit, gently sucking it between his teeth as his tongue was simultaneously and mellowly brushing over it providing you more pleasure. You squeezed his head between your thighs, making him let out a sound of pleasure muffled by your pussy, sending tingling vibrations through your body. Your hands tangled into his soft hair as you started moving your hips to match his movement, soft moans escaping your parted lips, making Mushitaro even harder than before. He started moving his fingers faster, relentlessly pressing your g-spot inside, making you let out continuous sharp moans from suddenness, the pace of his sucking was unchanged. You began pulling him in more by his hair, trying to get as much friction as possible as your warm cunt started clenching around his slender fingers. Soft whimpers were escaping Mushitaro's throat, stimulating your swollen clit more as he kept getting harder from your clenching around his fingers. He kept his pace up, relentlessly pressuring your g-spot as well as stimulating your sweet clit. He started moving his hips slowly, humping the mattress as he kept listening to your moans and whimpers. You could feel your orgasm approaching with each passing second, your moans getting louder as your hand grasped his hair tightly, hips tense and locked up as you felt bubbling heat slowly spreading inside you. Mushitaro kept a steady pace inside you, stimulating your g-spot perfectly, still eagerly sucking on your clit as you finally felt the throbbing heat spread inside you as you reached your orgasm. You grasped Mushitaro's hair tightly as your back arched and hips untensed, moving them in sync with his movement and riding out your orgasm. He kept whimpering in your cunt sending more vibrations up your body as your cum kept coating his fingers. Last soft moan escaped your lips as your orgasm was melting away, Mushitaro slowing movement of his fingers he pulled away from your clit. You gasped out as he extracted his fingers out of you. He was looking up at you, pulling away from you, expression needy for praise. You noticed his cock was hard once again, a lustful smirk appearing on your face.

"Such a good boy, you did a great job for me baby." you were praising as he grabbed your hips, gesturing you to turn around.

"Can I, please, have more?" he questioned in a needy, broken voice making you chuckle. You arched your back for him, chest and elbows resting on the mattress as his gaze grew appreciative of your exposed, wet cunt.

"Do as you wish." you said in a soft tone, Mushitaro immediately lining up his firm, thick and veiny cock with inner lips of your pussy. He messily started pushing it inside, making you groan out sharply as he was stretching you out deeper he went. A loud gasp escaped his throat as your tight cunt kept pulsating and squeezing his cock making it slightly harder for him to thrust properly. He was whimpering lowly as his hands grabbed your hips firmly, slowly pulling them towards him to meet his thrusts. You were choking out whines as he continued stretching you out more. You arched your back more, head resting on the mattress, spreading your legs further for easier access. He whined out loudly as he finally managed to thrust inside you properly, his pelvic area sharply smacking into your ass, cock deep inside you. Sharp gasps and snivels escaped your lungs as he started thrusting inside you vigorously as he was pussy drunk. He was continuously stimulating your g-spot with each fast thrust, his balls gently smacking your clit, making you twitch from sensations. Mushitaro's fingernails dig into your skin, leaving small imprints behind as he kept pulling your hips towards him, shaky whimpers escaping his throat. Your pussy kept clenching around his throbbing cock each time his tip would pressure your sensitive spot inside. You were grabbing the sheets, trying to contain overwhelming pleasure as his cock started throbbing inside you, both of you fairly sensitive from previous orgasms. He started thrusting faster inside you, relentlessly pressing all your sensitive spots inside as your cunt started leaking more precum around his tender cock making his whimpers louder. 

"You feel..too, ah-, too good. You are..pe-, perfect for me." Mushitaro was whimpering his words out, firming the grip on your hips. He kept pounding in you, skin smacking into yours as little tears formed in corners of your eyes from his vigorous pace, eager for some stimulation on your clit. Mushitaro's cock was twitching inside you as you started tightening and clenching your pussy around him more, the room filling up with his breathy whimpers and your silvery moans. He moved his hand away from your hip and put it between your thighs, placing two of his fingers and circling around your tingly clit making you moan out loudly as you pushed your hips to meet his thrusts. He was letting out shaky, broken whines as he was getting closer to his orgasm, mind completely hazy and solely focused on pleasuring you. He slowed down his movement for a bit as pleasure became too intense, steadily pounding inside you at a medium pace as his fingers kept stimulating your clit, making your body twitch as soft whimpers left your parted lips. He leaned his body over yours, pushing your hips down and making you lay down completely on the bed as he kept thrusting and playing with your clit. You lifted your hips a bit to give him more space as you felt heat build up inside you once again, closer to your orgasm. You were moaning into the fabric as the close warmth of his body provided you with an unusual feeling of safety. He was practically whimpering in your ear, his broken tone making you leak more of precum as you were getting closer to your second orgasm. He picked up his previous pace, thrusting faster inside you as your body started shaking, heat filling up your chest. Pace of his fingers on your clit remained the same as his cock started twitching inside you, the room was filled up with your deep moans as well as Mushitaro's high pitched, breathy whines and with a few more seconds you could feel intense and overwhelming sensation of your orgasm completely bursting inside you, making you slightly lightheaded. You were moaning shamelessly as your hips started moving in circles, riding out your orgasm. Mushitaro's body started shaking, swiftly pulling away his fingers from your clit and putting his hand back on your hip as his other hand squeezed your other hip tightly, pushing them deeper in the mattress. You could feel his cock pulsating inside you as Mushitaro let out intense, broken whimpers and sobs. Your cum was leaking all over his cock making him painfully sensitive as he kept thrusting messily, making you moan out more as you were delicate from your orgasm. He was choking out sounds and with a few more messy thrusts he finally reached his own orgasm, his warm cum spreading inside you and filling you up. He was slowing down, his loudly whining filling up your ear and mixing up with your own whimpers as he kept fucking his cum inside your pussy until he got completely soft. He was breathing sharply, slowly pulling out of you and letting his body fall right next to yours. Both of you were silent for a while, calming down from intense pleasure. You closed your eyes for a bit, feeling worn out and sore as Mushitaro pulled you closer to his body. Two of you were still remaining silent, your breathings syncing in as Mushitaro turned his head towards you, placing a faint kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you, love. You are amazing." he was whispering out, voice genuine and soft.

"Hah, anytime." you chuckled out shyly at his gratefulness as you rested your head on his soft chest that were raising in a steady, calming manner.

"Thank you as well, darling." you continued softly, a little smile curling out of your lips. Mushitaro smiled back, eyes still a bit hazy, filled with nothing but love.

"Do you want to take a shower and then take a nap?" he asked you in a pale tone, his fingertips gently brushing on your back.

"Sure. I want a back massage too, just so you know." you exclaimed playfully as you got up, ready for the shower.

"Deal, whatever you desire, my love." Mushitaro replied through a light chuckle as he got up with you, leaning in and placing a long, loving kiss on your lips.

The End :) <3

I hope you liked it and enjoyed it! :) <3

Thank you for the request and I hope I did it justice! :)

Huge thanks to everyone who showed me nothing but love and support, I deeply appreciate it! :) <3

Huge kisses on the forehead for everyone as well :3

[toasted-valentine]

TAOPP Things That Make Me Insane

• Rowan reaches out to Maya during Love and Everything during the line “I wish I’d learned that lesson sooner”, he spent his entire life refusing to listen to anything Maya had to say, and in the end he wishes he’d went with her. That breaks my heart.

• Rowan examines Jason’s crown in Love and Everything during line “Maybe no one’s shown you mercy”, he’s addressing Maddox during this, and he’s thinking about how King Astor harmed both of them.

• Rowan telling Louis to let him go and let his scars heal during Love and Everything, Rowan tilts up Louis’ chin, but doesn’t kiss him. It’s the two finding peace and a call back to Crown of Bones and Lead.

• This is a super nerdy theater thing, but TAOPP does this a lot due to the limited cast, and I want to point it out. Maya and King Astor are both played by Miel Escamilla, they just are him in shadow during act two. You can tell it is them because Miel is the only person in the cast who has short curly hair and it’s really distinct. Having them played by the same person adds the implication that Maya looks just like King Astor, and that’s part of the reason Rowan hated her so much.

• Back to them using the small cast to the full advantage, during Your Day in Court you can see the different actors reading out lines related to their characters while playing The Courtiers. Maya actually dances with Maddox’s actor and Jason dances with Louis at one point, but they’re shoved away from their respective dance partners back into each other’s arms to show that’s they’re being shoved into a heteronormative relationship.

• During Your Day In Court, Rowan’s actor and Louis’ actors start the song handing each other, foreshadowing.

• The line “Leave the metal tight around your finger till it aches” within Talk About It With You is referencing how trapped Jason feels by his relationship with Maya, the engagement ring being physically painful to wear.

• Miel can’t wear the fucking courtier mask cause of their glasses, which makes me laugh.

• There are two different versions of Your Day In Court on stage, one of them has Louis wearing a courtier mask, the other he is not. I think they removed it for the sake of making it clear that it’s just Louis being a courtier in that moment, not just some rando. Louis participating in The Courtier’s song implies he’s just as much of a gossip and threat as the rest of them, which I appreciate.

• Louis’ costuming has him wearing a single earring, which is a common flag to signal a man is gay. Love that for him. Funny part is the fact he has it in the wrong ear lol, it’s in his left, should be on the right.

• Louis’ costuming has him wearing a fuck ton of rings in the beginning, visually calling back to Talk About It With You. Rowan also has rings on, indicating he is a whore.

• Maya is shit talking with Jason in the background during When You’re Small, and the two of them are the one’s who send the plate over to Louis to get under his skin. You can see Maya and Jason laughing about it in the background.

• Rowan’s party has BDSM gear hanging in the background, which is hilarious. This implies someone had to either go buy all of it or pull it out of their closet for the show, which is really funny to me. Imagining some college kid going to a sex shop for props has got me chuckling.

• The strap on harness in the background implies that it is canon Rowan gets pegged.

• The Bohemian played by Miel steals the glass away from the Bohemian played by Andrew Matos, and when Louis walks away the two start bitching to each other.

• Rowan is conducting The Bohemian’s singing, he later mentions they’d do anything he asks, fun visual storytelling.

• The captions of Louis telling The Bohemians that “Some activities are best confined to one’s bed chambers” has their little “aww” reaction end with a :(

• Maddox being willing to kill a rat is what we call foreshadowing.

• Lana Gaige and Miel Escamilla both have the funniest visual gags in the show, their character acting just makes me laugh, especially when Maya and Rowan get to banter and bounce off each other. The eye shadow that Lana is wearing makes them a lot more expressive, and it helps emphasize their facial acting.

• “That’s treason” is the funniest line in the entire show.

• Rowan and Maya both have the bad habit of being very rash and pushy, the difference is that Rowan acts outside the system while Maya tends to act within it. The two are foils to each other in many ways, and in the context of Maya being the older sibling, you can see their difference in maturity levels.

• Maya and Maddox being separated by bars helps them have an emotional connection, it helps her break generational curses that her brother fell into, since Astors apparently are just massive slutty mcsluttersons that managed to give fantasy birth control a reason to exist. Rowan is repeating his father’s tendency to sleep with many others, this being shown via Maya being an affair baby.

• Jason steals Louis’ earring, and I think DeLaney Rose actually missed the throw of it, cause you can see them try and catch it and hear it hit the floor.

• The implication that Jason wanted to join Louis and Rowan, but the first reason he could come up with as to why not to is being engaged makes me laugh.

• “Might as well give it a stab” is a hilarious line and I love it.

• “Even in this cut throat— place.” Love that too.

• Rowan tilts Louis’ chin up right before Blood Moon, this gets brought back up later in Crown of Bones and Lead.

• It is mentioned someone tried to poison Rowan during Your Day In Court, which failed, and the fact he saw his mother get poisoned has the implication he knew how to spot poison and that’s why it failed.

• Rowan engages in double talk, the act of saying something that can have two different meanings and be confusing, during Blood Moon with the bastard lines. Foreshadowing.

• The choreography of Blood Moon has Rowan physically manipulating Louis and touching him in vaguely homoerotic ways, good show that Rowan is being manipulative and pushing his own worst traits onto Louis.

• Rowan makes note of Louis’ hands within Blood Moon, which is a show of his tendency to only remember his lover’s hands.

• Rowan cuts his own hand during Blood Moon, cut’s Louis’, and later on Maya pricks her finger on the same knife. Rowan is willing to get blood on his hands, Louis’ is manipulated into it, and Maya is willing to do it once for Maddox. Their different levels of willingness to have blood on their hands is such a nice detail.

• Maya fucking forgets she bought Jason his dagger, home girl is completely checked out of that relationship. Louis corrects her multiple times on Jason facts actually, she’s so uninterested in him that she doesn’t know these things in spite of knowing him for multiple years, but Louis is in love with Jason so knows about it all.

• Maya uses honeybees as a sign of freedom, mentions them multiple times, and says “Where the only queens are bees!” as the ending line to Dead Princesses go to Heaven.

• You can see Jason standing outside of Rowan’s room when Louis and Rowan are having pillow talk, dude is just standing there in the back.

• Miel motherfucking Escamilla actually cuts their hair off on stage in front of everyone, you can see people reacting in the background to it, and I have so much respect for that acting choice.

• Maya taking interest in Louis’ waistcoat is a nice little sign that they’re some flavor of genderqueer and prefer to be masc presenting, this implies that she regularly looks into men’s clothing, and that’s why she takes interest in it.

• Maya finding out Louis’ gay could potentially be a reason she’s willing to tell him about Maddox during Dead Princesses go to Heaven.

• Maya corrects Louis into calling Rowan her half-brother right before Dead Princesses go to Heaven, but right after Rush of Blood to the Head she calls him her brother, showing that she’s grown attached to him.

• Maya has her engagement ring on the wrong hand (for western audiences anyways), visual touch that she doesn’t love him.

• Miel has to tiptoe to hug DeLaney at the end of Dead Princesses, which makes sense story wise since Maya is supposed to be bigger than Louis, but the actors are similar heights. Fucks up the when you’re small bit if Louis is above Maya.

• Maya swearing like a sailor as soon as she talks to Rowan is so funny to me, cause that’s how siblings actually talk.

• You can tell Rowan and Maya are related as soon as they start plotting to get Jason killed by the king lol

• Rowan grabbing Lous’ hair comes back later on, but Jason protects him, and it’s a nice show of what it really means to love someone. Hair pulling is something common within sexual relationships, Rowan goes for Louis’ hair first, while Jason goes to protect Louis at every turn.

• Maddox’s tendency to be overly careful is such a funky detail, it escalates over time, and is implied to be a trauma response to being imprisoned. Later on they are pushed by ghost Rowan to act, and it helps them be a better lover to Maya. The two of them balance each other out, Maya having classic Astor bullheadedness, while Maddox is more calculating and careful than she is.

• “Or I could blow your head off” Maddox will later kill Rowan via third degree burns.

• Maya keeps looking in her bag and kicks the dress away right before It All Just Makes Sense because she’s packing her bags, but doesn’t want Jason to be a snitch.

• Maya makes fire metaphors during It All Just Makes Sense, which later shows that she’s not afraid of getting burned by Maddox and is willing to still love them after they kill Rowan.

• Maya and Maddox do kill and die for each other, Maya fakes her own death and Maddox kills Rowan for Maya.

• Jason is referred to with Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, the idea that someone who spends their entire life in a cave staring at a wall wouldn’t know what life is actually like due to not seeing the light.

• Jason has autism, which is really nice tbh. Only Louis really gets that Jason isn’t a prick, just sees things differently, and that Jason is lovable.

• Rowan’s drinking problem is visually seen right before Old Friend, he’s drinking and tries getting Maddox to with him, but Maddox declines. It’s a completely visual thing, but good visual storytelling that Rowan has a problem.

• Rowan calls Maddox a firebrand, which has two meanings in this context. There’s Maddox being a mage that uses fire, but also the literal meaning of firebrand, which is someone who is exceptionally dedicated to their cause. It has a double meaning to the character.

• Maddox’s cause switches from legalizing magic to saving Maya, they’re still a firebrand, but have a new cause to dedicate themself to.

• Louis leaves the room right before Rush of Blood to the Head because he said he wouldn’t help Rowan kill Maya, not just because of the alibi.

• Jason’s excited expression right after Talk About It With You hurts my feelings, heelllpppp.

• You can tell that Maya is an Astor based on the fact her first instinct after seeing Maddox for the first time outside a cell is to try and jump their bones.

• The script getting completely ditched when Maya and Maddox reunite is funny to me, they just completely yeet the thing lol

•I like that Maddox and Maya are able to have an emotional bond before a physical one, again as a foil to Rowan and Louis, showing that they love each other first the foremost.

• “Charmed, I’m Maddox.” Again, love that line.

• Rowan does in fact haunt Maddox after his death, like he said he would within the opening line of Rush of Blood to the Head, but it’s to help them.

• I like that Maya is packing her bags during Rush of Blood, and Rowan spends Maddox’s part staring at the dagger and conflicted emotionally. Rowan is also completely wrecking the room, the actor pantomiming knocking stuff over like Rowan said he would.

• Remember, in a Melliot production, always listen to the lesbian. The lesbian gives the best advice, the bisexuals give bad advice, but the lesbians are frequently right.

• Maya not finding a point in waiting relates back to her earlier sentiments, nice touch of how two characters can both be brash and quick to act, but their motivations for it can completely change the outcome.

• It’s Allies with Benefits instead of friends because the two aren’t even friends, Louis just sees them as allies, and Rowan doesn’t really have friends.

• The Courtiers speak of Maya’s death in past tense, while they speak of Rowan’s affair with Louis in present. They skipped over Maya’s death as basic palace gossip fast.

• Rowan focuses completely on Louis’ body instead of anything about his personality, even when he’s complementing Louis, he’s talking about Louis’ eyes. Louis offers Rowan the chance for an actual emotional connection, but Rowan just focused on his body.

•Rowan’s voice is higher pitched when singing about something he actually wants, but lower when faking it. He’s faking masculinity for the king, and actually does this when asking for Jason’s life to be spared.

• King Astor puts a bunch of stuff in Maya’s casket, but none of it is stuff Maya actually gives a shit about, showing how he fundamentally doesn’t understand his daughter. He doesn’t love Maya, he loves the idea of a perfect daughter, and pushed her to be that.

• I like the implication that Maya’s hair was supposed to be long during act one, but she cuts it all off in act two. It’s nice she gets to be a masc and happy about it.

•Maya takes her makeup off for act two, having white eye liner on during act one, but it’s gone during act two. It’s a really sweet thing.

• Maddox says that worst case scenario is a warlock blows Rowan to bits and that start all over again, and Maddox later kills Rowan, and the new kings are Jason and Louis.

• Maddox literally hiding in a closet to avoid Rowan and Louis fucking is so funny.

• Rowan is projecting so hard within Allies with Benefits (reprise), calling Jason manipulative and telling Louis that he should only love Jason’s body. He’s trying to take the Jason role, but failing since he’s an abusive prick.

• Louis wears pink on his coronation day, being allows to just be himself instead of what someone else wants.

• Rowan is constantly trying to get Louis to “fix” him, thinking Louis could make all of it go away, but no one needs that much help. Louis can’t make things go away, and Rowan’s expectations are unrealistic. I love the message that it’s okay to help your partner, to be there to support them and make things better, but there is a line that no one should cross. Rowan crosses that line, it isn’t love, it’s infatuation and lust.

• Louis is so worried about killing Rowan, he’s begun to wish that Rowan is dead, and he chooses to do the right thing instead of continuing the cycle of death and abuse.

• The crown that King Astor has on when he slaps Rowan is the same one that Louis lifts off Rowan’s head during When You’re Small, and it’s a flag that Rowan and the king will both die. Maya doesn’t ever wear it, and she gets to live.

• There was only one bed

• Jason considers what Louis’ wants and respects Louis’ consent, it breaks the cycle Louis is stuck in, and helps the two have a healthy relationship.

• Maddox warns of guards walking in on Rowan stabbing his father, and that’s exactly what happens. The way they mess with each other foreshadows Maddox killing Rowan, the plan getting interrupted and Maddox blowing Rowan to bits.

• Rowan is right in his assessment that him and Maya are similar, but loses the fact that Maya is completely dedicated to Maddox, which differs from what he says to Maddox.

• I do think Rowan has grown to care for Maya on some level, which is why he still is secure in wanting magic legalized, at least when he’s talking to Maddox about Louis.

• Rowan’s character arc is continuing the cycle of abuse, he becomes just his father by being an abusive drunk, and becomes just like the people who only sexualized him instead of being a good lover. Heart’s Blood shows that Rowan has a similar issue to Louis in the fact he is constantly being used for sex, but he doesn’t see the fact that he is doing it to Louis now. Even the song’s name is a show that Rowan doesn’t understand Louis and the fact Louis doesn’t what a blood revolution, Louis can’t stand blood or violence, while blood is Rowan’s entire thing. He’s using Louis, and Rowan’s big love song is him wanting ownership over Louis’ body and dousing that white in red.

• Heart’s Blood also uses double talk within it’s lyrics with describing Louis both feeling “burning, clawed, and drowning.” Rowan would feel it as a positive thing, a thing of love, while it would be a complete trap for Louis. He is misinterpreting what Maya believes, turning it twisted, and harming Louis in the process. He reflects on this later as a ghost, seeing how wrong he was.

• Rowan’s confession speech to Louis is possessive and has a desire of ownership of Louis, and it’s Rowan being selfish. He sexualizes Louis, is only willing to give up drinking for Louis instead of being sober for himself, and he doesn’t even both knocking. The refusal to knock is Rowan once again missing the fucking point.

• “You whore!!”

• “It’s not :(“

• “I thought you were STRAIGHT Jason!!”

• Jason puts his hand on Louis’ shoulder instead of tilting his chin up, nice physical acting.

• I like that If I Knew You Then doesn’t involve Jason or Louis’ physicality, they’re allowed to be interested on one another on a deep level.

• Rowan calls the King dad to be petty, but he’s also desperate for some level of his approval, for anything. It’s why he begs King Astor to say anything, he’s still a kid that wants some level of approval from a parent. If memory serves, Rowan is the youngest person in the roster, and he never got the chance to emotionally mature like everyone else.

• Louis is willing to fight for Jason in the same way Maya and Maddox are willing to fight for one another, something Rowan would never do for Louis. Louis’ fear of death disappears the moments he knows Jason needs him, he is willing to make a sacrifice for his love.

• Rowan is wearing white in the end, a new start.

• This next section is just me praising the actors lol

• Alex Conboy’s performance as Maddox during Can’t Hold Back The Tide amazing, the amount of emotion in their voice is such a skill, and they deserve so much praise for it.

• The level of breath control Lana Gaige must have to sing the little death song as Rowan dies is impressive. They already are an impressive performer, absolute power house on stage, and all the numbers they’re in always strike just the right chords. Sing whispering, on the ground, softly, and having to sound like they’re crying without actually crying is a testament to their skill. Trying to combine all those things is such a difficult thing to do, but they did it because they’re Lana Gaige and they’re an absolute demon on stage.

• DeLaney Rose broke my goddamn heart as Louis, just went right and stomped on it, and just right in my feelings. Crown of Bones and Lead is their best performance in the show, and it makes me cry.

• Andrew Matos as Jason does straight guy prick and autism gay man really well, you can see the natural progression of Jason’s character and how he changes through the show. Absolutely adore it.

• Miel Escamilla committed to the bit with the hair cutting, and I have so much respect for them for that. Some of the notes they hit during the show are amazing, and being able to do priss and prim mixed with “I’m five seconds away from backhanding you” is really nice, and I love their performance as Maya.

[peachhoneii]

Well, someone needs to ask, and that someone is me:

Any explicit head canons for Peg and Goofy?

(After all, everyone knows Goofy is NSFW because he's so accident prone *badum tsssh* )

I waited a long time to answer this because I didn't know how. If no one wants a visual, please look away. So warning, GOOFY NSFW MATERIAL BELOW.

Goofy eats out like he's buying take out. He's very attentive, and Peg’s pleasure delights him.

Doggy style isn't his favorite position. The bridge (he appreciates deep penetration) is.

Pancake food play is on the list, and they've done it on the kitchen table. They've lost at least four tables due to Goofy's antics, and many bottles of syrup were sacrificed.

Goofy is a surprisingly quiet lover. He doesn't make a lot of sounds.

Peg definitely does. He's gagged her a few times. They love it.

Peg pegs. Goofy goofs.

Peg is a master in kinbaku, and Goofy is a happy participant.

Peg is primarily dominant, but both parties can switch up when necessary. Dominant Goofy is a treat.

Their first time was in the back of Max's car when they were helping PJ move out of his apartment. It wasn't a lie when they said Goofy spilled something. A little harder to explain the broken window. (No worries, they paid for the damages).

Wordless orgasms. At most, he may say "Gawrsh" and she'll cry out "Mr. Goof!"

Pistol, being the baby of the family, probably knows more than she wants to but not enough to traumatize her. She just blocks it out.

Goofy fucks, and he fucks well.

[sakebytheriver]

Okay, here we go. I'm currently rewatching the original How I Met Your Mother and I am having thoughts on how to rewrite How I Met Your Father in a way where it matches the energy and quality of the original while also modernizing it and leaving the more problematic ellemnts behind so here is a post that no one asked for or cares about, thank you

Okay so the characters of Valentina and Charlie, instead of being two flakey straight people who just got together and decided to move in after a day are now instead a pansexual polyamorous couple that have been together for years and go to all the niche gay clubs and underground raves and out of the box fetish parties and fancy secret orgies happening in the seedy underbelly of New York City. These two would effectively fill the Barney Stinson role from the original series. They would make references and inuendos and have wild stories, rules, and lists all about their wild NYC sex lives. They would also act as Ellen's gurus and mentors in discovering the lesbian scene of New York and they act as everyone else's wingmen just like Barney would while leaving behind Barney's problematic overt sexism replacing it instead with two sex positive queers for the modern age of love and dating in 2022

Sophie would stay pretty much the same but she'd be Valentina and Charlie's little straight project, however we would make her way more of a spaz, because that is where Hillary Duff thrives comedically, make her go on bad dates where she panics and blurts out excuses to get out of it which are obvious lies like her grandmother is giving birth and she has to cut the cord or are like "I have chlamydia! K bye!" And she has horrible petty rivalries with other photographers to bring her character down a peg personality wise, she's too perfect in that 'im just a quirky girl' kind of way and I want her to actually be a person and save Hillary Duff from the cardboard she is forced to inhabit. I wanna make this girl really interesting, she's an immature party girl who falls over her own feet, she's sweet and looking for love and kind of quirky, she left a dead fish inside a rival photographers camera bag, just girly things you know

Sid and Hannah are honestly so useless to this show, their long distance relationship does not work, I'd write it out of the show completely instead the two of them own the bar together and most of the comedy and conflict in their relationship comes from how each think the bar should be run, with different gimmick ideas and visual gags to match the energy of How I Met Your Mother's wacky visual gags and weird cutaways. There's also a running gag where Valentina and Charlie say they're going to convince Sid and Hannah to swing with them one day *wink wink* with very heavy denial from the engaged couple. However after meeting the four of them immediately schedule a weekly couple's brunch date and they each give tips and updates on how to help out their three little disaster children, Jesse, Sophie, and Ellen

Jesse's backstory and mannerisms can stay basically the same, but he should be bisexual, he and Sophie will bond over having the same taste in guys, crappy (pause for laugh), and they come to the same agreement they do in the show to be each other's wingmen. Making Jesse bisexual would just make him more likeable to me, as it stands I just find him very unlikeable his charm feels forced and insecure, personally I feel like if he was bisexual I would feel less like Jesse acts the exact same way Ted would whine without also having the charm of Josh Radnor to cover up how annoying it is. Not to mention him being bisexual would be an opening for conflict between him and Sophie when their relationship develops romantically and it also deepens the connection between him and Ellen because now they're two disaster queer siblings roughing it in NYC together, they would be pure mlm wlw solidarity, disaster lesbian sister and disaster bisexual brother, that's a dynamic I wish the show would have had

And lastly I'd honestly leave Ellen completely alone, my girl is carrying that show on her back and the weight is crushing her, these changes are just to help take some of it off her shoulders

[ladyfogg]

Black Sea

Black Sea

Fic Summary: James has been tense for days, trying to wrangle the hotel’s undead residents while preparing for the upcoming historical landmark accreditation. Thankfully for your husband, you know exactly what he needs to make him relax. Bruises & Bitemarks Masterpost. The Evans Masterpost.

Fic Rating: 18+ 

Fic Song: Black Sea by Natasha Blume

Pairing: James Patrick March/Serial Killer Female Reader

Warnings: Seriously guys, 18+ for real. Explicit Smut, Pegging, Rimming, Dom/Sub, Oral Sex, Face-sitting, language, Praise kink, and probably more.

Married life suits you quite well.

After the decades of wanting James Patrick March, he’s finally in your grasp and your bed and you couldn’t be happier. Shortly after the wedding, the Countess asks to meet with you where she showers you with gifts and assures you there are no hard feelings. While you do have a few choice words for her over her treatment of James, it’s all water under the bridge. Your husband is thoroughly yours and his ex-wife no longer poses any sort of threat.

Your marital suite is now yours and James’s inner sanctum. No matter what is going on at the hotel, your space is untouchable. The moment the two of you enter the room, everything else gets left behind.

At least, that’s how it usually is.

Lately, James is having a difficult time letting go. The threat of the Cortez being torn down in the future was always minimal. However, as time progresses and wealthy philanthropists try to buy the building, the need to achieve historical status becomes a necessity. Of course, that means no more killings or disappearances. For someone like James, it’s a hard habit to break but he’s willing to make the change if it means keeping his home.

Most of his frustrations come out in the bedroom, which you thoroughly enjoy. The trunk of sex toys you have has gotten quite a bit of use during your marriage. Mostly on you. But when James arrives late one evening, fuming with anger, you have a feeling he’ll need a little something extra to take his mind off his troubles.

“Idiots, the lot of them,” he grumbles in a huff as he walks through the wall. “I do not know how they expect to keep themselves anchored to this mortal plane with no hotel. You would think the threat of absolute extinction would be enough to sate their blood lust.”

“Rough day, darling?” you ask, sliding off the bed where you had been lounging as you waited.

 “Is it that obvious?” he sneers.

You pout and slink over to him, letting the sash of your silk black robe fall open so he can see your naked body, still covered in bruises and bite marks from the previous evening’s festivities. “Don’t snap at me because the others can’t follow the rules. I haven’t murdered anyone in years.”

He sighs heavily as you wrap your arms around his waist. “You’re right, my dear. Apologies.”

You lay a trail of hot kisses up his neck. “I know exactly what you need to take your mind off it.”

James grabs your upper arms and pushes you back, not too rough but rough enough for you to stop. “I’m afraid I’m not in the mood for our little games tonight. I’d be more than happy to watch you take care of yourself should you feel so inclined.”

“Darling, I think you are the one who needs to be taken care of.”

James quirks an eyebrow but does not argue. As he studies your gaze, he recognizes the same mischievous cunning he’s come to associate with pleasurable experiences. “Why do I have the sense that you have some tricks up your sleeves?”

“Because you know me so well.” You kiss him roughly, teeth biting down on his lower lip.

James grunts when you do, his arms snaking around your waist so he can pull you flush against his chest. “What are your plans with me, Mrs. March?”

“Get on the bed.”

Your tone is low and stern, leaving no room for argument. As you slip out of his grasp, James excitedly slips his suit jacket off, watching you cross the room. Against the far wall, your trunk of treasures sits on an antique chest of drawers, flanked by two red candles. The moment you light them, you hear the bed springs as James takes a seat.

“So what is it tonight, darling?” he asks in an almost bored tone. “Whips? Chains? Handcuffs? Gags?”

“No, no, none of that,” you say, casting a look over your shoulder. “Well, unless you’re a bad boy.”

James has slipped off his shoes and is in the process of unbuttoning his shirt sleeves. While he certainly looks interested, there’s also a sardonic smirk on his face, as if he’s doubting your ability to take his mind off his troubles.

Which is incredibly laughable since you have proven yourself to be a delightful distraction over the years.

“This is something new,” you say, opening the trunk. Inside, all manner of provocative and sinful toys sit posed and ready for use. A fair number of them have been used already. But tonight, you have a special item that you’ve been eyeing for some time. One you know James will love. “Take your clothes off.”

“You’re being so mysterious. You have me intrigued.”

“That’s the point.”

You glance over, watching as he meticulously removes his clothes until he’s down to nothing. The sight of his naked body always thrills you and you take time to admire it. James notices, raising his eyebrow.

“You look like you wish to devour me,” he says.

“I do. Now, close your eyes.”

James humors you and does as he’s told. Once you’re sure he’s not looking, you get yourself ready. You can see him tilting his head in your direction, listening to the sounds as if he’s trying to figure out what you’re doing. Ready, you secure your robe once more before slinking over to stand in front of him. You study his handsome face, reaching out to stroke his cheek before you gently tilt his chin up and lean down for a kiss.

James responds instantly, his hand coming up to seize the back of your head and grip it tight. In retaliation, you slip your hand around his throat and squeeze. He gasps in delight, eyes rolling back in his head when you forcibly break the kiss.

“We’re going to do a little role reversal tonight, my love,” you say, thumb pressing into his windpipe. “If you’re a good boy, I’ll make you come so hard you’ll blackout. If you’re bad, well…” You lick the shell of his ear, feeling him shudder. “That can be fun too.”

You ease up on his throat and James growls at you with a smirk. “Color me intrigued. What did you grab from our little treasure chest?”

You don’t answer his question. With a firm hand on his chest, you push him onto his back, leaving his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. A wink and a coy smile are all you offer before leaving a trail of precious kisses and bitemarks down his chest, towards his cock, which is already swelling in anticipation. James hums with approval, tucking one hand behind his head as a cushion while he watches your movements.  

Your hand wraps around his cock, leisurely stroking his length while your lips continue to kiss his pale skin. You’ve lost track of the number of times you’ve marked and claimed him, leaving red irritated skin in your wake. That primal urge wants to come out, but you hold it at bay. Not now. Not yet.

Gently, you lavish the head of cock with attention as your hand drops from his shaft to stroke his thigh. You hear his breathing hitch, see the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows his saliva. His eyes close for a moment as he simply enjoys your attention, the tension and stress starting to melt away. You squeeze both thighs hard as you take him further into your mouth. Not all the way, which you know he wants. Just enough to tease him with what he likes.

When his eyes flutter back open, they’re hooded with desire. “I must say, I truly enjoy you at this angle,” he says, peering down the front of your robe which has started to slip open. “It’s a particularly erotic visual—what the fuck are you doing?”

Without warning, you seize the backs of his thighs and push his legs up so that his knees touch his chest, leaving him far more exposed than he’s ever been in your presence. You let his cock slide out of your mouth as you straighten your stance, the thin sash of your robe falling away so James can see the flesh-colored dildo hanging between your legs, firmly secured to your hips by a leather harness.

“Helping you relax, darling,” you say in a falsely innocent tone, your hand stroking his thigh. “You’ve had me in this position. It’s only fair that I have you.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but whatever retort he prepared never reaches your ears because a split second later, you kneel by the edge of the bed, running your tongue across his tight ring of muscles. What you do manage to hear is something between a gasp and a moan, and you can’t help but smile to yourself.

James loves to be dominant. Always has. And while most of the time that suits you just fine, there are others when you’ve taken the reins. During those particular times, you’ve noticed James’s excitement seems to grow. The idea of being overpowered by the woman he loves thrills him. You can tell by the look in his eyes, the delight and surprise at the turn of events, and the way his body molds to your whims.

Even now his hips arch upward, seeking more friction than what you’re currently providing. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock and giving it a rough squeeze.

James thrashes against the bed. “Your mouth is truly a godsend.”

“Obviously not if you’re still stringing words together.” You jerk him off roughly, wrapping your lips around his pucker and sucking.

James throws his head back with a loud gasp, fists twisting the sheets. Empowered by his response, can’t help but keep your eyes on his face, the way his eyebrows knit together and his teeth dig into his bottom lip…if either of you showed up on camera you’d be recording him. His movements push him further up on the bed and you eagerly follow, kneeling between his legs on the soft mattress.

As you continue to loosen him with your tongue, you take your hand off his cock so you can reach for the bottle of lube in the pocket of your robe.

“You’re being an exceptionally good boy, my dear husband,” you coo, laying a bite on the round cheek in front of you.

Taking your hand off him, you uncap the bottle and let the cool liquid drip onto his overheated skin. James hisses only to moan when you start to spread the lube around his waiting hole.

“Darling, please.”

You pause, glancing up at him. “Is that begging I hear? Already?”

His cheeks are flush red which has traveled down to his chest. A chest that’s moving rapidly with each heavy breath. It’s a gorgeous visual that you’ll never get out of your head.

He is shameless in his need, reaching down to fist his cock. “You wouldn’t hear begging if you’d get on with it.”

Quick as a flash, straddle his body so you can grab the bindings attached to the headboard. “I told you to be good,” you scold, seizing his wrists and binding them. “That means, listening to me and not touching yourself. Also, don’t be an ass. I’m doing you a favor you know.”

“Is that so?” Once his hands are secured, he bucks up against you, again seeking the friction you deny.

“I’m supposed to be taking care of you, James. If you’re going to be rude about it, I’d much rather gag you. Is that what you want? To be gagged? Because that’s not all it’ll be. I’ll gag you and then go fuck off for a few hours, leaving you here, naked, and begging for me. Is that what you want?”

To your delight, James purses his lips and doesn’t speak. With a grin, you wrap your hands around his throat and give it a loving squeeze as you bend down to steal a kiss. It’s quick, just enough for him to want more before you shimmy down his body, back to the space between his legs. Shoving his knees up again, you swirl the lube around the loosening muscles with your thumb, watching with delight at the way James closes his eyes and throws his head back.

The sounds coming from your husband are positively sinful and you can’t get enough. His voice even climbs several octaves when you push a lubed-up butt plug in past his prepped muscles. His body shifts and clamps down around the toy, keeping it inside him.

“W-What did you do?” he asks, fingers digging into the bindings around his wrists.

“Just used something to help get you ready for me,” you purr, stroking his thighs again. “In the meantime…”

You slide his cock back into your mouth, causing James to exhale a string of obscenities. God you love the way he fills your mouth, not to mention the way he moans every time you suck him off. To have such a powerful man like James at your mercy sends a rush of pride through you. This man, this titan of industry and murder, is reduced to a sweating, shaking mass of limbs just by your mouth and hands. It’s empowering and addicting.

You pull your mouth off him, lewdly sticking out your tongue to lick the underside of him. “Such a beautiful sight,” you say, hand still wrapped tightly around him. “I look forward to seeing you on all fours.”

“Please…”

“Keep begging, darling. It turns me on.”

You lose yourself in the taste of your husband, sucking on his cock with practiced skill and precision. His body constantly moves under you, thrashing and flexing, trying to set the pace even when you have his hips pinned to the bed by your upper body. He really can’t help trying to take control even when he’s completely at your mercy.

You can feel he’s close but it’s not time yet. There’s no way you’re going to let him come without fucking him first.

Letting him slip from your mouth, you pull back, heart slamming against your ribcage as you see tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

“I was so damn close!” he whines.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there.”

Grabbing his hips, you flip him onto his stomach, forcing the bindings to twist. You maneuver him onto his knees, admiring the visual for a second: muscled and scarred back with taut muscles, perfectly round ass with a plug begging for you to replace with something bigger. You hook your finger through the ring and pull it out, listening to the shaky breath James exhales.  

He’s so ready for you.

You let the robe slip from your frame as you kneel behind him.

“Gorgeous. Just gorgeous. You look so ready for me,” you tease, lubing up the dildo with one hand as you run the other hand down his backside.

“Yes. Yes, please.”

“Please what, James?”

He doesn’t respond right away. You can feel him clinging to that last bit of control, which definitely won’t do. Fisting his dark hair, you yank his head back.

“Please what, James?” you repeat. “If I have to ask again, I’ll just leave you here. Hard and open, waiting…”

“Please have your wicked way with me.”

With a smirk, you push into him. Between the toy and your prep, it’s almost a smooth thrust. Keyword: almost. Instinctively, his body tenses, forcing him to clamp down around the head of your toy.

You drape yourself along his back, licking and sucking on his shoulder. “Relax, baby boy. Just relax. I’ve got you.”

You feel his shaking body exhale and the toy slides further in, more and more until you bottom out, your thighs snuggly tucked against his.

“There,” you say, stroking his hip. “That’s a good boy.”

You pull out and thrust back in. James throws his head back and lets out the most guttural moan you’ve ever heard. You do it again, thrilled by his visceral reaction. You take him roughly, thrusting in and out at a steady pace, loving the way his body moves under yours. You get why he loves to fuck you this way.

Holding this power over someone is addicting and you know you and your husband will be playing this little game for centuries to come.

Your mouth keeps busy, sucking and biting at James’s throat, marking the pale flesh. His noises are to die for. Moans and grunts, occasionally broken by swears and your name.

“Fuck, darling. Fucking hell, yes!”

“Do you like it, husband?” you coo in his ear. “Do you like your wife taking you from behind?”

“Yes!”

“Such a good boy taking my cock like this,” you groan, reveling in the sounds of his pleas and your hips slapping against his. “Such a good boy, letting me take care of you.”

“My dear, please. Please!”

“Please what?”

You see his hands flex in his bindings as he clenches them. “I’m close, dear. I need to come.”

“If you insist.”

When you pull out of him, he all but howls in disappointment. But he doesn’t need to worry. As quick as you did before, you flip him onto his back, shoving his legs up before pushing back into him. Now you can see the expression on his face, watch his mouth fall open as his head falls back against the pillows.

His rock-hard cock bounces against his stomach, leaving trails of precum in its path. When you wrap your hand around his length, it’s hot to the touch.

All you need to do is stroke him once and then he’s coming with a shout, jets of white painting his flexing stomach as he chants your name.

Your own neglected arousal is nearly painful at this point. Ignoring it for much longer is not possible. Without removing the toy from your shuddering husband, you release yourself from the harness and crawl up his body.

He opens his eyes just in time for you to sit on his face, forcing him to taste you. If his moan is any indication, he doesn’t mind in the slightest. Now you’re groaning, clutching fistfuls of his hair as you grind yourself along with his tongue.

“Yes, James, yes. Such a good boy.”

Your praise is punctuated with groans, his eyes closed as he sucks on your swollen folds. You’re too wound up yourself to hold back or prologue your pleasure. When you come, your body locks in place, nails digging into his scalp until the last waves of pleasure recede and you collapse next to him.

Both of you pant harshly. James tugs on his bindings. “Untie me,” he orders.

You do as he says, only to find yourself pinned beneath him, his mouth attacking yours in a biting onslaught of kisses. It makes you smile.

“Relaxed now, darling?” you tease when he finally draws back.

James yanks the toy out of himself with a wince, tossing it to the side. “You certainly know how to help a man take his mind off his troubles.”

“I live to serve, darling,” you say with a smirk. “As do you apparently. You did a marvelous job.”

James grunts before kissing you again, his seed now spread across your chest as he holds you flush against him.

“As did you, my love. Tell me, what other toys have you been dying to try?” he asks.

All you do is offer him a coy smirk. “A lady never reveals her secrets. All in good time, dear husband. All in good time.”

---

Fic Taglist:

@lejardinfleur @kitwalker64 @tatestripedsweater @milly-louise @kitwalker02 @xmaximoffic

[foenixs]

i know the movie had a lot of kinks but godd!! i want so much more?? i wanted her to choke him, peg him, spank his ass, TOUCH HIM MORE ( cause bitch if that was me my hands would be all over his body).... and i wanted to at least have the visual of him sucking her fingers.

us femdoms really get just crumbs don't we

Yeah, it was like they gave us everything and nothing at the same time. The lack of physical intimacy made it feel so tame eventho she literally poured wax on him and whipped him to the point of bleeding.

When they were in the office lounge and she pretended to whip him she could've at least grabbed his crotch and make him moan louder.

When he was kissing up her legs he could've at least sucked her fingers or eaten her out (moved between her legs).

She should've grabbed onto his butt, spanked him, choke him! He has such a gorgeous neck and for what?!

The fact that they used a ball gag in a non sexual way like oh yeah this is his kink but uhm, it doesn't turn him on because uhm, this is a PG-13 movie... towards the end it really got frustrating to watch because if I was her and he was moaning like that when I touch him I'd be wet and horny as fuck!

[monst]

what do you think are some of Tokoyami’s favorite kinks? Bondage gotta be up there for sure!

Fumi’s sex dungeon

All characters 18+

Part Three. Part One/ Part Two

Warnings: Kinks are under the cut and they get a bit wild so reader discretion is advised. I would put all of them up here but they are all bolded so you can skip over the ones you are uncomfortable with. ^.^

When he’s Top

Bondage- 

     Your breath left you in raggard pants as he tied another knot against your hot skin. The position he was tying you in was a new one and you could feel the strain in your thighs as they were held apart. Breathing was a bit more difficult but the lack of proper oxygen sent a pang straight to you cunt. 

“You're so pretty.” Tokoyami cooed while dark shadow finished off the last couple of knots. “She looks like a nice little present.” Dark Shadow growled. 

Sensory deprivation- 

The way your lips parted in a gasp was mesmerizing and the sound absolutely exquisite. You couldn’t see where they’d touch you next and the suspense left you delirious. Two pairs of hands played with your body a soft touch to your thigh coupled with a frim lick to your nipple. You’d wish the two would stop teasing already. But the way your body arched up in pleasurable surprise was just so amazing to Tokoyami. You were so wet he could just slip inside. 

“Ah!~” 

And he did. 

Wax play- 

   He loved combining this with bondage and sensory deprivation. The cute whines you’d make when the warm liquid would touch your skin had him cumming untouched. He loved taking the time to drip pretty swirls on your ass or watch your body jerk when he’d drop the liquid on to your breasts. 

“You made me mess up that time.” He’d just wipe it off and redo it relishing in the way your body contorted for him. Needless to say the scent of dark vanilla filled your room for days. 

Sadistic- 

     Just seeing you in tears was enough to fluff the feathers at the top of his head. Granted he never pushed your limits but he was always in awe at how well you could take what he gave you. He was a sadistic tease always fucking you into a pitiful whimpering mess. By the time he was through you were to fucked out for words as he made it his job to exceed the number of times you came during each session. 

“Come on lovely you came 10 times last time I know you can push one more.” Dark shadow was no help in that regard as he loved watching your thighs trembled and your voice crack in raw pleasure. 

Impact play- 

      Whips, paddles, crops and hands. He used them all to make you cry out beautifully. You were like a beautiful songbird with every contact. What you loved most about impact play with Tokoyami was that he was always there to sooth the dull sting afterwards. It was a blessing that Dark shadow could stretch out far to bring the cooling ointment from the bathroom. And of course this was needed because Tokoyami went on a power trip when he had you over his knee. 

“Are you okay? I didn’t go overboard, right?” He questioned as he rubbed the tender spots he had spanked earlier. 

“No it was great, but next time can you slap the crop against my clit more that felt really good.” You flushed. 

“Sure thing love.” 

Suspension- 

     You know how people marvelled at intricate chandeliers? Well that’s exactly what Tokoyami does when he’s got you tied up in the air. Granted it takes the help of a very eager Dark shadow but it always comes out perfect. He’s got the pictures to prove it. 

One of his favorite things to do while you're in mid-air is to hold a vibrater to your clit. He’d do this until your just about crying from how many times your body’s been thrown over. He just can’t explain the fascination. The visual, the way your tears and cum sound dropping to the floor! Ughh it’s enough to make him want to ask Dark shadow to hold him up while he fucks you. You know what? Maybe he will. 

Pet play (master)- 

       He loves this. He thinks it’s incredibly ironic what with him having feathers and being birdlike.  The way you call him master with those pouty lips gets it up. Especially when he’s got you leash in a tight grip and your mouth is occupied. With each pull of the leash you’re brought in closer until our nose is buried in his trimmed pubes. 

“Just like that pet.” He groaned “Make you master cum and I’ll let Dark Shadow play with your pussy.” 

Overstimulation- 

      He is really into surpassing each count. At this rate you’ll probably make it into the Guinness world records….

“Again.” He huffed, struggling to move his cock because the tight hold your cunt held it in. Dark Shadow wasn’t any help either always wanting you to finish on his tongue no matter how much you pleaded for him to give you a break.

Gagging- 

      There was something about you slobbeirng over his fingers that made him want to fuck your mouth every time you both played. He got off on hearing you but the aspect of gagging you to restrain himself from falling prey to your sonorous moans also got him going. There was just a thrill that he got from seeing your mouth stuffed be it with a gag, his fingers, Dark Shadow’s hands or cloth. 

But what he loved the most about gagging was that once he removed it your voice brought him to completion. 

Role play- 

      He admits that he was a bit shy in bringing this up but he was so glad that you had agreed to role play with him on occasions. He just loved recreating scenes from books the both of you had read. The lord and the servant. A king and the concubine. A demon finding a cute little nun/angel to fuck. 

You indulged him and he loved you so much for that. 

Degradation/Praise- 

       He alternated between the two. He and Dark shadow took turns speaking verbal sin into your ears. One could be near your right ear calling you a filthy cumslut while the other spoke of how well you were doing. The combination made your toes curl and your head spin. The rough words were sometimes paired with loving touches while the softer words cooed sweetly to you when you were trying something new and a bit more painful.

But you loved the sweet loving words you received afterwards when he was hugging you against his chest lovingly and Dark shadow was rubbing soothing circles onto your back. 

When he’s Bottom

Humiliation- Yes please! Tell him to lick your shoes clean. Tell him to pull apart his checks and beg. He loves being under your mercy and will do anything you ask without hesitation. 

“Show us Fumi, show me and Dark Shadow how you get yourself off.” You cooed. “Fingers Fumi add more fingers into your ass. And smile for the camera.

Praise- 

Let him know he’s doing a good job he lives for it. And you and dark Shadow love the happy tears he sheds when you call him your good boy. 

His head came up from between your thighs his beak dripping from your slick. 

“Like that Mistress? Did I do a good job.” he whined. 

“Yes baby just like that.” You sighed as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm. “Does my baby want a reward?”

“Yes lease Ma’am.”

Impact play- 

        Slap his ass raw. That’s it. Beat him silly because he really loves the pain. Granted he knows when enough is enough but just seeing you dressed up like in nylon with a paddle in hand has him leaking at the tip. 

“Count Fumi.” You panted

“T-twenty.” He gasped, as his torso dropped onto the mattress the nipple clamps pressing in deeper due to his fall. 

“Wrong. We’re up to Twenty-two.” You teased. “You just want to add more, your so naughty Fumi.”

Anal/pegging- 

      The first time you fucked his pretty hole he was a goner and he now demands that you do it more often. And it’s not like you're going to complain. You loved seeing the dark hero fuck back against your strap. His pale ass looked so great against the black dildo. 

“M-More nngh M-Mistress give me more hah~” He mewled. “Harder p-please ungh fuck me harder.”

You had quite the masochist on your hands. 

Role play- 

       You know as much as you loved playing submissive roles for him you also found it arousing when you played the dominant role in this play. The queen using her slave, the succubus feeding off a human sacrifice, the wicked doctor changing up his check up…

The look of utter submission on his face was so cute.

Sounding- 

        Your little masochist had proposed this one day and now you want to try it more often. Dark Shadow held his shoulders down to keep him from stirring and harming himself. Tears streamed down his feather matting them down. 

“Unngh t-that feels so good~” He drooled 

“Look at you Fumikage, your so fucking nasty.” Dark Shadow grinned. 

“Your doing so well sweetheart.” You cooed bringing the metal rod down again. 

Primal play- 

         Loves being chased down by you. Especially when you're rigging him. It feels as though he’s a bird who has lost all his freedom and the thrill rushed straight to his cock. Sometimes he doesn’t even put up much of a fight because you having your way with him is just so fucking hot.

Dark shadow - 

       Enjoys them all. Seeing both of you a whining mess gets him going. That and the both of you make sure to include him in the play he wants to be included in. You're both grateful to him because the two of you get so lost into it and he’s always there to pull you both back from that headspace. He’s also been dubbed the king of aftercare :P

[dykerory]

TNG! 💞

god BLESS. sorry this is fifteen miles long

Favorite episode and why

i’m going to have to go with The Most Toys. it does SO much to further data’s character AND we see geordi not giving up on his boy and doing everything to get him back! the only thing is that i wish it had some acknowledgement of the literal trauma data has just been through! 

Funniest/crackiest/it’s-terrible-but-I-still-love-it episode/scene

i’ve consumed this series so fast it’s hard to remember the episodes lmao. it HAS to be riker beaming down to the What if Sexism But Reverse planet and immediately getting pegged by the president while a plague tears through the enterprise. he��s my emotional support thot 

It’s-terrible-and-I-hate it episode/scene

god any of the ones where it’s like clearly a Metaphor for something but it’s a show in the late 80s so you’re like this is maybe not the BEST message. like i fully skipped the one with like an old diplomat who used a mobility device but then it was treated as a dramatic reveal that he could stand and walk a little and i just couldn’t do it

Best episode/scene for my favorite character

KEEPING IN MIND that i’m only on season four, i think Offspring is one of the best data episodes EVER. i like legit CRIED when she was saying goodbye and data’s heartbreaking “i wish i could say the same” and everyone around data tacitly being like oh this is love bitch GOD i’m gonna cry just thinking about it

Best episode/scene for my favorite ship

Daforge! Johnlock! Simulator! 3000! Geordi said ah i have the perfect date idea for my android boyfriend who loves sherlock holmes and pulaski was like hmm what if this was about me instead and basically geordi showed GREAT restraint in not punting her out an airlock

Best episode/scene for a particular supporting character

Q really said i’m going to come back once a season to be gay and inconvenient and there’s nothing anyone else can do to stop me. for obvious reasons i like Deja-Q, since i think his friendship with data is super sweet. 

Best episode/scene for a character I don’t usually like

It’s not that I don’t like Picard, I do, but he’s just always so put together and in control that it’s harder to latch onto him. I REALLY enjoyed Family for that reason- seeing him breakdown so completely, sobbing because of the trauma he’d been through, was SO powerful and i wish we got moments like that sprinkled throughout the series for everybody

Most visually beautiful or interesting episode/scene

bold of you to assume i can remember specifics like that. tng is super static, visually, and just doesn’t have the budget for the kind of effects that would make an impression, so no comment. 

Most emotionally affecting episode/scene

Offspring and Family, as stated above

Most powerful use of music in an episode/scene

no one’s done the “ahh classical music *beastie boys blares* gag yet so no comment

Episode/scene that changed my perspective on the show

i don’t think my perspective’s changed so much as I just latched onto data with a frightening intensity and now i’m a star trek fan. go figure. 

Episode/scene where the acting stands out

besides everything else i’ve mentioned, it’s super cool how brent spiner jekyll and hydes data & lore without being too hammy about it, and it genuinely makes it feel like two separate characters! 

Overall best-written episode

Oh measure of a man. that’s a very writerly episode, with lots of thoughtful monologues and it really shows that it was written by a lawyer!

[ducktracy]

71. buddy the gob (1934)

disclaimer: another one of those cartoons where racist caricatures and stereotypes are predominant. i don’t at all endorse them, they’re wrong and they’re gross, but they can’t be swept under the rug, either. this review is going to contain racist content and imagery. this is purely for educational and informational purposes. if i can do anything at all to make it easier to get through, and if i ever say something offensive or wrong, PLEASE let me know. your enjoyment is my priority. thank you for bearing with me.

release date: january 13th, 1934

series: looney tunes

director: friz freleng

starring: jack carr (buddy), bernice hansen (girl)

sorry in advance for the horrible quality, all of the uploads of this are the same. and also in terms of that disclaimer: this isn’t as nasty as one step ahead of my shadow (thankfully) and the stereotypes aren’t too... raging, but they’re still there, gross, and constitute a disclaimer. anyway, it’s finally 1934, and friz freleng’s first independent director’s credit! buddy the gob (not to be confused with porky the gob) entails our hero budy arriving in china and saving a girl from being sacrificed to a dragon.

open to a rather impressive shot of a fleet of ships (much like the opening of conrad the sailor). fun visuals galore as the ships slide on the waves: nothing new or exciting, but mildly entertaining. freleng’s love of musical timing is evident with various cannons firing and whistles blowing to the beat of the music.

elsewhere, our faithful sailor buddy is dutifully scrubbing away at a pair of pajamas. the pajamas shake the water off like a dog, gratefully accepting a towel handed by buddy to (redundantly) dry itself. buddy, the master of thrilling dialogue, peers out the window and cries “oh, boy! china!”

eagerly does our young gob dash up the stairs and jump off the side of the boat, landing safely in a rowboat. treacherous waves are no problem for the ever optimistic buddy. we fade out and fade in on a bustling chinese village, stocked with stereotypes as always. thankfully, the stereotypes aren’t as nasty, mean spirited, or abundant as they are in one step ahead of my shadow, which this is practically a remake of, but they’re still cringeworthy and uncomfortable. a mother carries her children with a carrying pole, the children dangling by their hair from the pole instead of buckets. meanwhile, a man reads the script on a flyer, getting taller as he reads up and compressing as he reads back down.

buddy encounters the poster and scratches his head, unable to translate it. nevertheless, the magic of cartoons rages on as the script translates into english, reading “GRAND CELEBRATION TODAY, the 150th birthday anniversary of the SACRED DRAGON.” friz tries some fancy work with the camera angle, zooming in on the lower half of the poster that reads “a beautiful girl will be sacrificed to the dragon. COME ONE, COME ALL!” buddy rushes to a growing crowd, trying to get a good look. he climbs a matryoshka of a family like stairs to dive into the crowd.

the crowd isn’t witnessing a brutal execution, but a stereotype filled parade. a man twirls his baton and bounces his beer belly up and down, two men carry a drum, mice jumping on it to create a drum cadence (reused from it’s got me again!), a line of trumpeters, a man playing piano, another man using children and their rice hats as cymbals (😬).

there are some masked dancers who parade the streets, including a caricature of jimmy durante. they loved their durante gags! many more are to come. behind the slightly terrifying durante is the girl about to be sacrificed, crying as she’s carried away in a cage by two men.

loyal buddy hears her cries for help and promises to save her. he runs after her, up a stairway and to a doorway that slams in his face. one of the guards lifts him up with his spear and tosses him to a wall, the spear sticking and buddy falling to the ground as his pants tear.

this is pretty clever: after a few failed attempts at using the spear as a pole vault, he rips a gate off its hinges and fires several of the bars like arrows. one by one, the arrows stack up in the building, proving buddy a safe way to crawl into the building via window and save the girl.

inside, a man is chaining the poor girl to the wall, swallowing the key to the lock. buddy bursts in once the man has left, but not before we get a shot of the fire breathing dragon behind bars. buddy tries all he can to free the girl, trying to rip the chain from the wall, yet fails.

with some quick thinking, he knocks on the door where the man presumably entered. as the man walks out, buddy smashes a barrel over his head, parts of the wood binding him together. our cute boy scout turned violent displays more aggression as he kicks the man in the ass, the key spitting back up onto the ground.

buddy unlocks the lock, and the girl is free. unfortunately, so is the dragon. cookie uses a lantern to jump out of the window and landing in a cart (an appropriate accordion sound effect to accompany the panther unfolding). buddy prepares to join her—he joins her sooner than expected when the dragon literally sets a fire under his butt.

a man pulls the cart (i guess that’s one dehumanizing factor left over from one step ahead of my shadow), the cart flipping opposite ways as they hit rocks. the townsfolk aren’t happy at their celebration being ruined, and an angry mob follows buddy and his girl. the man trips over a rock once more, and the cart is lost in sight. again with the dehumanizing horse gag as the man runs on all fours, carrying buddy and his captive while neighing. ugh. you’re better than this, friz!

buddy and his girl run to a bridge, where buddy snaps the ropes connected to the pegs in the ground. there are some nice visuals as the two run across the bridge, the bridge folding beneath them and plummeting to an endless chasm.

once they make it to the side safe and sound, the two mock the townsfolk, who shake their fists and their spears. one man throws a spear at buddy, and it misses. this gag feels particularly freleng to me, i’m not sure why. i guess it feels rather looney tunes-esque in general. the spear becomes anthropomorphized, and seeing that it missed its target, turns back around and jabs buddy in the butt. iris out.

i have conflicted feelings on this one. for one thing, it wasn’t as bad as i was expecting. the racism is still very much there and shouldn’t be shrugged off, but it isn’t as blatantly nasty as one step ahead of my shadow. another thing, although it was very uncomfortable, it was a relatively good buddy cartoon. more interesting than the rest. the music was great as always, and the sound effects are becoming more and more tolerable. as always, though, the stereotypes and caricatures prevent me from enjoying the cartoon’s full potential. friz certainly has much, much better entries as we’ll get to see and enjoy, but this was also his first independent directorial job. so, if anything, this cartoon carries historical significance with friz’s first directorial credit, but that’s about as much significance as it will get. i wouldn’t really recommend it, but if you do watch it, view at your own discretion (link).

[hollandroos]

Run To Me; Part Two

Blow a kiss, Fire a gun: Teaser Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9 Pt.10 Pt.11 Pt.12 Pt.13 Pt.14 Pt.15 Pt.16 Pt.17 Pt.18 Pt.19 Pt.20 + NSFW Alphabet with Mob!Tom

Run to me: Prologue | Pt.1 | Read on wattpad!! | Playlist!

Chapter Summary: How many nights have you wished someone would stay? - (Infinity, one direction)

Warnings: Violance

- There are a lot of dad/mafia series, so if this seems similar to yours then message me for credit.

Words: 4.1k

I APOLOGISE IF THE READ MORE DOESN’T WORK ON MOBILE

The first while after you’d left had been the worst for Tom. He wanted to tear his heart of his chest and stomp on it with two bare feet, cursing whichever god above that was making him suffer a great deal and for what- a mistake he made as a child? A stupid, ignorant child trying to impress his father.

Of course, he didn’t blame you at all. You were most likely riddled with scars both mentally and physically and he possibly couldn’t understand the extent- maybe he could, Tom liked to ignore his feelings and push them away until he was downing an entire bottle of alcohol and swaying throughout the long hallways of his own home, singing along to Mayday parade and because that was his guilty pleasure.

He thought he was doing better, focusing purely on work and work alone, ignoring the colder half of his bed and the bobby pins he sometimes found scattered around the library. There were even the ceramic mugs he’d try to ignore, going as far as to chuck out the one that you always used to use. He had a draw full- but you insisted on drinking from the same one.

They key word is ‘thought.’ Tom thought he was doing better and he was until suddenly he wasn’t because when he saw your name on the screen in jet black, bolded letters his heart deflated and he was reminded of those old feelings. The desire to once again, claw at his skin and rip out his own heart was back and worse than ever and hidden beneath layers of anger, tucked up behind regret was despair. Tom wanted- needed answers and as much as he hated to admit it, he needed you.

The second Aiden walked into the room he was shoved roughly into the wooden chair by Harry, already sweaty palms shook with fear as he eyed the office. Good, Tom thought. He should be going out of his mind right now. It wasn’t Toms normal office, that one was off limits for most and he only used it when he was sure there’d be no blood shed.

Their conversation starts as one normally would, Tom taunting the man and Aiden coming up with pathetic excuses for simply not paying the man his money. It was all a little game to Tom, let the guy think he’s going to be let off the hook for now and then pull out the big guns- literally.

-

“How do you know her?” Tom spits.

Aiden tries backing away before his back hit the seat, hardwood clawing at his spine. “Who?”

Tom wasn’t here to watch this man play innocent or drag things out. He was antsy and wanted answers and as many as he could wrap his mind around before putting a bullet through the guy's skull. Earlier the mobster had been eager to get his hands dirty but now he actually felt a hint of anxiousness, wishing that in fact, he’d stayed out of the bank details and just left the guys corpse to float down the nearest Avon.

“You know who the fuck I’m talking about.” Anger laced every word.

“I have no idea.” That was almost a lie, almost. Aiden almost wished he could go back in time and google ‘How to run from mess’s you make?’ and find a wikihow on how to get out of this. But he was sure that right there, at the top of the page under tip number one It’d be clear, don’t lie to the mob boss.

“The money- my money that’s all getting transferred to somehow else's bank account.” Tom found that he couldn’t even say her name, instead of feeling content with ‘she’s’ and ‘hers’ because if he didn't say her name then it made this whole situation a little less real, right? “How do you know her?”

Something seemed to click in Aiden’s brain and he looked up, wide-eyed wondering why exactly the biggest mafia boss wanted anything to do with his girlfriend- a mere waitress. “She’s my girlfriend, I help her out sometimes.”

His money was only getting transferred into one other person’s bank account, after all.

Tom didn’t believe it straight away, the claim going in one ear and out the other. “Bullshit!” He hiss’s, only visualizing what it’d be like to pummel the guys face in- watch his teeth tear from the gum and blood stain the raven shirt.

“It’s the fucking truth- what do you want with her?” Mistake, big mistake.

Tom hated being asked questions almost as much as he hated answering them. It made him feel lower, oddly enough. Like he had something to work up to when he was already at the very top. There was no hesitation, no ‘what after?’ as he swung his fist back. The sick sound of skin hitting skin echoing throughout the office and the younger brother didn’t even blink.

Aiden’s tongue ran over bottom teeth, a metallic taste invading as he regained his strength. Slowly, the world stopped spinning but the ache in his jaw remained and Tom was still unsatisfied with the one blue and purple bruise that was going to form there, no matter how big. He wanted- needed to give this guy more, to inflict more pain and turn him into the perfect mix of a human punching bag as well as canvas.

“Y/N wouldn’t be with you unless there was a reason. She had the fucking world- What do you have to do with her?”

Tom’s hand falls to the gun that sat securely on his waist, fingers reaching for the cool metal. His fingers wrap around the weapon while Aiden's wrap around the arms of the wooden seat, mind exploding with curses and panic reeling.

“What do you mean she had the world?” Aiden's eyes were drawn to the gun that was now peeking through the shirt, a lump forming in the back of his throat. “She has no idea about what I do-”

“Answer my fucking question or I swear to god I’ll have Harry here tear your eyes out.” The man gulped, two sets of eyes on his while his stared down the barrel of the gun that was now far too close for his liking.

“I don’t know, okay? I’m not positive why or how things have worked out but she needs me- for the kid.” A sweat formed just above his brown, hands growing clammy yet at the same time, they were icy.

That got Tom’s attention- actually it only increased his attention, making his finger slip off of the trigger of the gun and for a moment he showed weakness, walls slipping. There was a kid- since when? It seemed that a lot had happened in nearly five years. Tom wondered how much he missed while his head was back in the clouds.

“What kid?” The mobster snaps, mind swimming with a hundred and one questions that were seemingly eating away at any sanity that remained.

“The girl, her little girl.” He swallows thickly, warm blood dripping down his throat almost making him gag in distaste.

Aiden was reminded of the girl with feet the size of a salt shaker, little brown curls that were sometimes tucked back by a Minnie mouse headband and sometimes in a tight ponytail or even the braids that Y/N had learned how to do just for her daughter. Rarely ever did the girl have her hair out, not being able to handle the frizzy strands. She had issues that not even he could explain, running deep. Maybe deep down he felt something for the family of two but it’d have to be very, very deep down- so deep he sometimes doubted it even existed.

“How old?” Tom hisses, gritting his teeth. Was it fear he felt? “How old is the fucking kid.”

“Four years old. Rosie, her names Rosie.”  Aiden murmurs, spitting a mouthful of blood onto the plush carpet. “Why do you care about this girl anyway? She’s a nobody, barely worth anything that I give her.”

Was it betrayal that Tom felt? Anger? Everything felt numb, walls closing in slowly but maybe that was just Toms’ throat. Not even the ache in his knuckles could bring him back down to Earth, or his brother urgently pulling out his phone to do some research. How was his heart going a million miles an hour, yet seemingly not beating at all?

It had been five years since the anniversary of Harrison’s death and five years since Tom had found himself waking up alone at the crack of dawn, only to go down to the personal gym in his basement because taking all of his anger out onto one of the many punching bags was better then staring at the ceiling for hours on end, allowing his mind to come up with every other possible outcome.

Aiden watched the man’s mind run, features twisting and turning as his grip on the gun would loosen, before tightening once again only moments later. Neither mobster felt that they could breathe, lungs constricting at an odd pace but Tom couldn’t give two shits about the dealer in front of him, in fact, the urge to hit the trigger was so bad that Harry had to physically take the gun from him, setting it on his own waist instead.

Tom stared the man down, trying to come up with a plan that’d cause him just enough pain that Tom would feel satisfaction, but he doubted that was possible by now. If he thought that he was walking away from this scene then he was even bigger of a fool then the boys had originally pegged him for. “I’d watch every word if I were you, you’ve fucked up enough to be buried six feet under and she’s the only reason you’re still breathing.”  

“You can have her if you want, I pay for everything from the power to the fucking therapy.”

Tom lowered the gun, aiming the barrel at the man’s feet as to not remove it from the picture completely. It was still a threat. “Therapy?”

“Some trauma from a few years back. A friend died, been screwed up ever since and it’s rubbing off on the kid.”

Why did it come as a shock to him that you had been left with mental scars from that day? Tom blinked only twice, lips forming a straight line and he almost wished he still had the gun to show the dealer what happened when his clients spoke back.

“Don’t mention the friend.” He only takes a step closer, aching knuckles begging for more. “You said she doesn't know what you do, correct?” Tom asks, crouching down to get to eye level with the man. Tom was so close, “Are you lying to me?”

Aiden shook his head profusely. “She thinks I work at an IT company.”

Tom nods his head, looking for any signs of Aiden lying to him but when nothing shows up he gets dangerously close to the fellow mobster, pit of his stomach burning with an intense fire that seemed near impossible to put out.

Every nerve in Tom’s body was screaming at him to do something, to get rid of the guy that’d laid hands- even gone near his wife but he had other uses for him, a plan he’d thought up earlier the morning circulating like a merry go round.

“I’m going to ask you to do something for me and if you agree then you get to walk out of this room with your head still attached to your body, got it?”

-

There were times where you’d look at the small girl in front of you and think with a fully clear, somber mind ‘You’re your father's child.’

It wasn’t due to the little, coffee brown curls that hung in ringlets, sometimes loose waves if she decided to fiddle with her hair and attempt a braid or to put it into a bun herself. Nor the deep brown eyes but that, however, could’ve been a factor.

It was due to the fact that she was sharp, not one to be messed with and ran around with a mind of her own even for four years old. There were very few things that the four-year-old was afraid of and one of them was the dark because she stated that you never know what lurks, and boy was she correct.

There was also the fact that you could just imagine her in eleven years swearing like a sailor, tongue sharp and backtalk spewing. All in a good way, of course. She was her own person, independent even for a child.

But there came times- like at this very moment where she was quiet, in too much thought to focus on anything else but the task at hand because when Rosie put her mind to something she was stuck to it until said task was complete. It was something Tom used to do when he’d sit at his desk, pen in one hand as he stared down at the paperwork ahead of him.

Tom never used to look up from the work until he was a done, a hard- almost angry look remaining on his features as he worked to complete. Rosie had that same look.

Rosie was in a way, her father's child- a Holland despite the fact that she’d been fully raised by you.

“There’s this dinner tomorrow that I need you to attend with me. My boss invited me and I can’t go alone.” Aiden begins, a look of determination plastered on his features as he looks over from ‘his’ side of the bed. The entire bed was yours, he’d just claimed that half.

You look up from the back of Rosie’s head, the hot pink hairbrush remaining in your hand as you continue to brush out her wet curls that were now actually dead straight, a few little baby hairs springing up into action, however. The little girl hummed along to the tune of some Disney show as she viciously slashed your phone screen with her stubby pointer finger, grumbling when she lost a round of ‘Fruit Ninja’ and smiling brightly when she didn’t.

She was dressed in a pair of purple pajamas, little white clouds placed all over for a decoration and a fluffy, pink blanket around her shoulders. Overall the girl was in heaven.

“Tomorrow’s a little short notice isn’t it?” You point out, continuing to brush out the strands of wet hair. She grunts when you hit a knot, tugging too hard. “Sorry, Roo.” You apologize immediately, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her head but the little girl seemed too immersed in what was going on inside the screen to even notice.

Fathers child- Tom’s child.

“Yeah, my boss only asked me today,” Aiden pays no attention to the girl in your lap, focusing all of his attention on getting you to the event. “So I need you to dress up in one of those fancy dresses and come along as my plus one.”

What was meant to be a question came out as a demand. The thought of leaving the house at night- leaving Rosie at the house almost made you sick. Your stomach did an unhealthy flip, mind-rattling with negative possibilities. “I don’t think I can tom-”

To say that your boyfriend was already expecting that answer was an understatement. “It’s just one night- one dinner.” He pushes, not bothering to listen to what else you had to say. Yes it pushed your buttons, yes it made you frustrated and angry and a whole lot of other negative feelings that you weren’t ready to dwell on.

“You know, I-”

“This is important to me.” It’s not. Important was the last thing this was. Truthfully Aiden was scared out of his mind. The barrel of the gun he’d previously stared down was a looming threat.

“What about Rosie? We don’t have a babysitter.” You point out, something telling you to try and get her to come with. The four-year-old couldn’t sit still for the life of her and though she didn’t exactly speak more than other children she still liked to point things out that sometimes- really should stay inside.

“We can get one. Use one of those online sites to look.” Aiden says, thumbs working as he sends a text.

You almost grimace at the comment, over the moon about the fact that Rosie was still staring down at the phone screen now with her tongue between her teeth as she tried to crush a reasonably easy level of candy crush. It meant that she couldn’t hear nor was she focusing on your more one-sided conversation about bringing in a complete stranger to look after her for a few hours.

“I don’t trust-” You begin, once again getting cut off.

“Have you been out and done something ever since you gave birth to that little girl?”

The thought taunted you because actually, no. You hadn’t properly gone out for dinner, been on a shopping trip or even to a cafe for a drink with a book or magazine in toe ever since the little girl was born. Truthfully you didn’t want to considering that all of those things ran the risk of triggering an attack. Malls were busy, they were loud and they were crazy. Restaurants- somehow even louder if you went at the right time of night. Glass could be dropped and people cheering out of the blue and before you knew it your skin would be growing hot and clammy, everything around you becoming nothing more than a haze as your mind decides to run a hundred miles an hour.

Wrapping an arm around your daughter's waist, you pull her into your chest and Rosie shimmies back more until she was fully pressed against you, legs pull into her chest as a small yawn escapes. Her still slightly dripping hair was wetting your shirt, causing a small stain to form but you couldn’t care less.

“I haven’t had the chance.” You mutter, feeling the little girl in your arms let out a small, slightly audible yawn followed by more gentle humming.

“Now’s your chance. Come out with me tomorrow, meet my boss- god knows he wants to meet you.” Aiden grit his teeth, finding your reluctance borderline irritating. Maybe it was the fact that if you said no he’d deal with the anger of the biggest mob boss in London, meeting his feet with a bullet or worse.

Aiden still didn’t understand how or why Tom Holland was so interested in you, a part of him felt that he was putting you on the line here but Tom’s gruff, threatening voice bounced around his head like a ping pong ball. Every word burned into his memory.

Sighing, you realize that you weren’t going to win this conversation.

“I can get my dad to look after her, he hasn’t seen her for a while.” You offer. Just like that anxiety was creeping into your chest, crawling right back into your mind like it hadn’t even left in the first place. “I don’t know how Rose will feel about it though.”

“She’ll get over it, you spoil her too much.” He points out. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. That was a debate you weren’t up to having at ten past eight at night. “You have a dress to wear, right? It’s most likely going to be fancy dress and god only knows what the other girls will be wearing.”

You remembered the red dress sitting in the very back of your wardrobe, not having been worn in around five years you doubt that the thing would even fit but it was worth a try. “I’ve got something,” you say, “I’ll call my dad tomorrow and ask him if he can look after her.”

“If he says no then I have a few friends that’ll happily take her for a few hours.” You’d never met Aiden's friends before so that offer was off the table the moment it left his lips, already mentally nothing to beg your father to say yes to this.

“Okay,” You hum despite your reluctance. Your boyfriend was looking down at his phone again, lips curling upwards slightly and tightening your grip around Rosie, you stand up, taking the phone out of her hands and she scrambles around to take it back from you.

“No, mama.” She whines, voice already drowsy. ”I wanna keep playing.”

“What have I told you about staying up on the phone too late?” You carry her down the hall to her room, flicking on the light and she mumbles something under her breath.

“My eyes will turn into squares.”

-

“Mum?” Rosie’s voice was slightly hazy as she began to settle down into bed, her arms curling around a little brown elephant instead of her usual teddy and you remember to look for that later. She looks up, pink bed sheets pulled up to her chin tightly.

You climb next to her, the little girls head immediately moves so that her curls are hanging over your thigh. Only a few minutes ago you’d been brushing her hair out and already the curls were back, a little frizzy and with a little less volume but they were still there.

“Yeah?” You answer, knowing Rosie wouldn’t continue unless she knew that she had your full attention.

The hand that wasn’t gripping the elephant ear plays with the hem of your nightshirt, the thin cotton fabric soft on your fingers. “What are your nightmares about?”

“Nightmares?” You try to play dumb but truthfully you were taken back by the question, eyes widening slightly as she nods as best she could without changing position.

“You have nightmares.” The four-year-old points out. “I know because I hear you in the night and you told me about nightmares, remember?” A wave of guilt washes through you when she says that, but Rosy continues before you can begin to apologize profusely. “Sometimes I get them too and it’s okay- if you get them then you can come and lay with me because you let me lay with you in your bed when I get them.”

You crack a smile, and so does the little girl, recently cleaned teeth peeking through before her smile falls, her eye’s fluttering shut out of exhaustion and you begged her to fall asleep before she asked any more questions that you didn’t exactly know how to answer.

“Are there monsters?” It was a question that every kid asked at least once in their lives. They wanted to know all about the monsters that lurked in the back of their closets at night- and the ones that hid under the bed and that’d snatch you up if you stuck a foot out from beneath the duvet and over the edge.

“No.” You straighten out the plush, pink duvet. It depended on her definition of a monster. The world was full of them, ruthless people with no morals or sense of care for anyone else. They’d hurt you without thinking twice and leave you with the type of trauma that didn't just disappear overnight. “There was- but someone got rid of the monsters.”

Nick was a monster.

“Who?” She seemed intrigued, the brown elephant now forgotten as she rolls over, looking up excitedly. “They must be really strong if they can get rid of monsters.”

You nod without hesitation. “He is strong, he took on three at once with the help of his friends.” Tears prickle the corners of your eyes and your bite back a sob, instead of keeping your attention drawn to your daughter who listened intently.  “Thanks to them we don’t have to worry about them anymore.”

“They can’t hurt us?”

“Never again.”

The thing is, some monsters were able to hide in plain sight. They didn’t have to wear scary clothing, carry guns in their back pockets or have a dirty past. They were sly- always two steps ahead of the game and often you don’t realize who the real monster was until it’s too late. Of course, you couldn’t tell your four-year-old daughter that it wasn’t the nonexistent monsters in the closet or under the bed that she should be worried about but the ones in everyday life.

-

Part 3!

Remember that updates are partially dependant on your response (as well as my love for writing these) ♡

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What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Episode 4 Review: The Casino

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This What We Do in the Shadows review contains spoilers.

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Episode 4

A coastal resort destination like Atlantic City might not seem the wisest place for a vampire to vacation, but it pays off in “The Casino.” The Staten Island vampires may be shirking their duties on the Vampiric Council, but What We Do in the Shadows  season 3 episode 4 benefits from the change in scenery. This is especially shattering for Nandor (Kayvan Novak), who learns during this episode that the world is not only round, but also not held up on the shoulders of four mighty elephants.

The fang gang, plus energy vampire Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) and familiar-turned-bodyguard Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), are invited out by their favorite neighbor, and Laszlo’s (Matt Berry) best human friend, Shaun (Anthony Atamanuik). He and his, also human, wife Charmaine (Marissa Jaret Winokur) are celebrating their wedding anniversary and put together an 11-person junket. Shaun was inspired by Ocean’s Eleven, which gets laughs all around from Laszlo.

Just when you think that’s about as far as that joke goes: ding-a-ding-ding, Nadja’s (Natasia Demetriou) got the voice of the Rat Pack, and wants their cash. She apparently knew Ol’ Blue Eyes and the gang around the time they were making the original Ocean’s Eleven, but the Rat Pack tribute act are barely recognizable to her since they are merely a tribute act. What’s more surprising is Nadja doesn’t ring any bells for them when she thrusts her best side forward. This is one of the funniest of the visual gags, so watch for it. She and Laszlo begin the journey excited by the possibilities of the “Mecca of the Depraved” and America’s “premiere playground of hedonistic debauchery.” Each sees a particularly seedy byproduct of Sin City by the Atlantic.

Laszlo sees the shadier side of his friend Shawn, who turns out to be a degenerate gambler who loses his entire savings at the casino. Rather than making the money back in some kind of Ocean’s Twelve heist, which we are vaguely led to believe, the vampires do something unexpected. They steal the scam from a different movie: Let’s Do It Again (1975). To paraphrase The Simpsons’ Abe Simpson talking about a sting he stole from The Sting II: the film stars Bill Cosby, so no one will ever admit seeing it. Without giving too much away, it involves boxing, betting and hypnosis. Also unexpectedly, the idea comes from Guillermo.

The vampires make an almost feeble effort to reach out to Guillermo. As Colin says, companies he works at do it all the time. They treat their employees like family so they are more motivated to ignore their real families. The restaurant scene where the vampires try to feign interest in Guillermo’s interests is short of agonizing. He squirms deliciously under questioning which gets more and more intrusive, inappropriate and embarrassing. His best retort comes after Nadja asks if he has a “chubby” girlfriend he’s hiding somewhere. Guillermo wants to know why she’d have to be chubby.

Read more

TV

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Episode 3 Review: Gail

By Tony Sokol

TV

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Episode 2 Review: The Cloak of Duplication

By Tony Sokol

Vampires need to travel with the dirt of their ancestral lands. Much is made of this as Nadja, Laszlo and Nandor are packing it up, and spreading it out on the beds in their hotels. This tradition, or curse, goes back to Bram Stoker’s Dracula, who had boxes of earth dragged in from Transylvania to Whitby Abbey. It cost a fortune then, as procured by the vampire genre’s original familiar Jonathan Harker, and it runs into a small fortune in “The Casino,” as Guillermo is sent on a journey to the four corners of a round world on a quest to claim the dirt of each of master’s birth lands. Adding to the joke is the idea Guillermo could just have taken a ride to the house on Staten Island in a fraction of the time. This is never mentioned, as it would never occur to any of the vampires, which only enhances the inherent absentmindedness of the immortal characters.

The three bloodsucking vampires experience a harrowing close call when they are deprived of their dirt. They lose the powers of transformation and hypnotic influence, leaving poor Nadja to her natural charms, which boil down to baseless threats uttered from various prone positions. It’s almost sad and pathetic, but it seems to work for her. Hopefully this is a one-off problem and she doesn’t come to find being pitiful is one of her superpowers.

Colin only watches the 24-hour advertorial channel which explains the features of the luxury hotel on a constant loop. This is mildly annoying to the vampires around him, and must provide sustenance, but Colin really seems to be enjoying the show. This works when he’s so involved in the in-house mini-program he doesn’t notice his roommates’ native soil being vacuumed away by the cleaning crew. But it makes you wonder if, as Colin approaches his hundredth birthday, he needs to get out more.

The problem with energy vampires, as a comedic concept, is finding new ways to make boring things interesting. And here we see it played out from the innermost being of the character. Colin is interested in boring things. He doesn’t even achieve a level of ennui, the suggestion every improv comic dreads when asking the audience for an emotion to play. On one hand, you might think Colin has achieved a level of Zen which is rare and possibly enviable. On the other hand, Buddha appreciated a good joke. He’s always grinning. Colin is barely able to register a smirk.

What We do in the Shadow works best when it is at its most ridiculous, combined with the most mundane. Nandor’s obsession with the Big Bang Theory slot machine is a good example of this. He appreciates how the show captures the energy and feel of the game, and identifies with Sheldon, who he pegs for the leader of the TV show’s group, because he is the tall one. The education he gets from Colin, on the big bang reality of the creation of the universe, is actually quite emotional. The former warrior is on a path to some kind of self-discovery this season, he continually slides into periods of morose reflection.

The vampires are growing in season 3, and the exercise and location shots work wonders for them. It is interesting to watch them interact with humans they call friends, and even go out of their way to do a good deed. The best thing about that is something we only hear in the fade, as Shaun drops the whole bundle on 12. “The Casino” is a sure bet for What We Do in the Shadows, and kibitzers on the line.

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What We Do in the Shadows‘ “The Casino” aired Sept. 16 at 10:00 p.m. on FX.

The post What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Episode 4 Review: The Casino appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[vuroro]

Golden Kamuy and Queerness

While Satoru Noda’s Golden Kamuy may not be groundbreaking, I would say it’s easily one of the most gripping, unique comics currently in circulation. It’s a period piece, a cooking manga, a thriller, and a comedy rolled into one beautiful package. The thorough research and analysis of the Ainu, an indigenous people of Japan, hooked me immediately, but as I blew through the one-hundred chapters available in English, I began to notice an unsettling trend in Noda’s comedy. Homosexual behavior became one of the most prominent punchlines when it wasn’t being used for shock value. Sexual deviancy taken to the extreme is a recurring theme in the manga and it seems queer characters are carelessly lumped into that category, especially when considering all queer coded  characters introduced so far have been villains.

For those of you who don’t know, Golden Kamuy follows Saichi Sugimoto and his search for a gigantic stash of Ainu gold hidden away somewhere deep in Hokkaido. He befriends an Ainu girl, Asirpa, and the duo search for twenty-four escaped convicts who bear tattoos that illustrate the map detailing the location of the gold. Although the legend of the gold is a well-guarded secret, there is another party on the hunt for the convicts: First Lieutenant Tsurumi and his men, the 7th division, who intend to use the gold to fund a violent uprising. Throughout the story, Sugimoto’s group and the 7th decision have frequent confrontations not only with each other, but other dangerous people who have caught wind of the gold.

The first grave offense occurs around chapter 66. As ornery bears run rampant in Golden Kamuy’s Hokkaido (and could reasonably be considered the main antagonist), Sugimoto’s party is chased into a lodge on the edge of the forest by three hungry red bears. Trapped with them are two businessmen who claim to be unaffiliated with each other, but Sugimoto can tell something’s off about them. Visual clues, such as the Yakuza tattoos on their backs, indicate the two are likely working together after all, but the big reveal only occurs after one of the businessmen accuse the other of cheating on him with another man. Now the shocking twist isn’t that they’re in cahoots, which the reader could easily guess, but that these two Yakuza are super gay. Suddenly, the personalities of these two characters undergo a complete transformation – before the reveal, these two were portrayed as threatening and mysterious, but now they’re bungling and melodramatic to reflect their flagrant homosexuality. We can’t possibly take them seriously anymore and they spend the rest of the chapter acting as comedy relief until they’re both mortally wounded by a bear. Just before their deaths, they share a final tender moment where they reconcile and reaffirm their love for each other and I’m confused how I’m supposed to interpret their last scene. Was I supposed to be touched, or was this another gag? In any case, our first confirmed gay couple died almost as soon as they were introduced, a trope I will never not find absolutely exhausting.

Our next troubling subject is Edogai, a taxidermist based on infamous serial killer Ed Gein. As you might have anticipated, Edogai fashions bizarre, intensely disturbing suits and accessories out of human flesh, a hobby he aches to share with anyone, but the voice of his dead mother urges him not to trust others. Eventually, Lieutenant Tsurumi discovers his strange hobby and confronts him. With his secret exposed, Edogai initially motions to kill him, but after Tsurumi proclaims how impressed he is with Edogai’s work, Edogai is instantly endeared to him. The voice of Edogai’s mother demands Tsurumi’s blood, so Tsurumi leads Edogai to his mother’s taxidermied body and arms him with a gun so he may free himself from his mother’s shadow. Edogai, having fallen for the lieutenant, obeys, and while he pulls the trigger, Tsurumi throws his head back in ecstasy while he clutches Edogai’s bare chest. It’s hard to tell if this is meant to add a dash of humor to Edogai’s madness, or ramp up the horror.

While I’m still reeling from this scene, the next page depicts Tsurumi and Edogai, clad in an intricate flesh-dress, engaging in a sensual ballroom dance. From this point on, Edogai lives for the sole purpose of pleasing Tsurumi (“he’ll be sure to praise me, pat me, and lick me!”), and his obsessive love for him seems to be directly tied to his madness. As a queer person who was told my sexual preference was a direct result of some childhood trauma I experienced, this is particularly uncomfortable. Some chapters later, Edogai dies for Tsurumi’s sake. Another gay man bites the dust once the joke’s over.

It’s not only homosexuality to be pegged as a symptom of insanity. Taking a much-needed break from their tattoo search, Sugimoto’s group decides to rest at a hotel run by the hauntingly beautiful Ienaga. Unbeknownst to them, Ienaga recognizes one of the tattooed convicts in Sugimoto party...but how? Like the businessmen in the bear lodge, the reader can handily figure out what’s going on – she’s also one of the tattooed convicts, but how could that be possible if the convicts were all men? Surprise! She’s an insane transwoman who believes the only way she can “become perfect” is by murdering her guests in order to take their body parts to help with her transition! Again, Noda has to find some way to catch his readers off-guard after his initial plot twist was too predictable. What I really wasn’t expecting, though, is that even after Ienaga’s true identity has been disclosed, the other characters continue to honor her female pronouns. No one questions or invalidates her femininity, which tends to be a huge issue in other M-rated manga featuring trans characters, namely Tokyo Ghoul’s vicious and repulsive handling of Kanae von Rosewald (see: Ichi’s essay on Tokyo Ghoul and Gender). I’m not sure I would call this a saving grace, but it’s the most respect Noda has paid a queer character so far. She’s even still alive as of this writing!

Lastly, let’s look at Koito, the 7th Division’s second lieutenant. His introduction makes him out to be the most competent, terrifying member of the 7th Division yet, as he effortlessly outfoxes Sugimoto’s plans and proves himself to be a very capable fighter, with both a firearm and a sabre. It’s no simple task for Sugimoto’s gang to defeat Koito, but once they do, Koito is left stuck in a tree and from his breast pocket…retrieves a picture of Tsurumi to gaze upon longingly. I brace myself.

The next time we see Koito, he’s a bit different from the second Lieutenant we first met, but not an entirely different person, like what happened to the two gay businessmen. The thought of Tsurumi scolding him for his failure has thrust him into hysterics and the only thing able to calm him down is a new photograph of Tsurumi that one of his comrades shares with him. Shortly after, Tsurumi arrives, and Koito is so flustered by his crush that he reverts to his native dialect, which Tsurumi can’t understand. He’s a little more bumbling than before, but thankfully, his personality and competence remain mostly intact. Koito is a sane man and his love for the first Lieutenant doesn’t wander into manic obsession like Edogai. As he was introduced not too long ago, I’ll be keeping a close eye on him. With any luck, he remains mentally sound and alive, but based on Noda’s treatment of gay men so far, I’m not getting my hopes up.

This rampant abuse of queer characters and falling back on homosexuality for comedy and cheap thrills is hard to stomach, but ultimately, I’m far too invested in this manga to stop reading it. It’s certainly worth acknowledging and I hope this helps people understand why I have trouble giving the manga the same praise as others in the community. For those of you who have read it, I’d love to know your opinions on the matter!

[urwarriorangel]

i begged (bellamy blake+lincoln one-shot)

Plot:  It’s similar to a Batman/Catwoman situation here, where Bellamy and Lincoln are wealthy philanthropists and secret vigilantes and you’re a woman who’s way out of their league both romantically and financially, so you say. You’re a high-end escort, you had class. Even then, Bellamy and Lincoln inspired you, aroused you, yet you knew nothing would come out of it, of anything. So why not indulge in a night of fun?

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x Angel x Lincoln

Warnings: smut overload, babies. threesome smut. ice play. ass eating. boy x boy. oral. no actual fucking though. swearing. dirty talk. nipple play. orgasm denial. ass eating. the works. 

A/N: I’m so nervous. please tell me what you think. this is the first boyxboy smut I’ve ever written. it’s also the first threesome smut I’ve ever written. I’m so nervous. goodbye. much love to you babes. also so sorry if i tagged you and you didn’t want to be tagged. (ps, I wanted to add visuals, but it wouldn’t let me)

“Welcome, Ms. Angel. Mr. Blake and Mr. Lincoln will be pleased to see you,” a butler smiled as he let me in, gently taking my coat off to hang it with the others.

“And I will be pleased to see them,” I smile at him and chuckle as I follow the throng of people headed to the ballroom, a light shiver running down my back as I think of all the fun I would have tonight.

I walk into the ballroom, my eyes almost immediately meeting with Bellamy’s. His eyes grow dark as he takes in my appearance, a small sliver of appreciation for the dress he would help rip off tonight. I smirk and turn my back to him, making my way to the surprisingly empty bar as I spot Lincoln not far away. He stops mid-conversation, his eyes shamelessly roaming over every inch of me before they meet mine. I can almost hear a soft growl leave his mouth as I smile and pay him no mind.

“A glass of chardonnay, if you will,” I smile at the bartender as he nods and gets to work. I rest an elbow on the bar, resting my chin in my hand as I wait for my drink.

“Bored already, princess?” Bellamy stands almost directly behind me, his hot breath fanning against the back of my neck causing my hair to stand on end.

“What makes you say that?” I whisper, turning to face him as the bartender hands me my drink.

“You’re alone at the bar. Need I say more?” The corners of his mouth turn up as he eyes my cleavage.

“Come on, Bellamy. Show me a little respect,” I take a sip of the chardonnay, purposely letting a drop to rest on my bottom lip as I remove my glass.

“I haven’t stripped you in front of our guests, have I?” He whispers, taking a deep breath as the drop of chardonnay falls down my bottom lip to my chin and finally down my neck.

“Oh, but that’s what she’d like,” Lincoln’s gravelly voice reaches my ears just as his head dips down to my neck, licking the chardonnay clean off before standing and leaning back against the bar. “She wants us to humiliate her in front of all these people.”

“I would like that,” I whisper, eyes roaming over the crowd gathered for the charity ball. “Why else would I come here bare?”

“I can’t wait to get my hands on you,” Bellamy grits his teeth as his stormy eyes meet my barely impassive onest.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” I whisper as I take another sip of the wine, savoring it.

“Sweetheart, you’re treating us like you would any other job,” Lincoln chuckles, shaking his head. “We’re not like any of your other clients.”

“I’m counting on it, Lincoln. I need a change,” I lean over to him, brushing my lips against his earlobe. “I need you.”

“That’s enough,” Bellamy growls, pulling me back, pressing my chest against his as Lincoln laughs. “I can’t walk around my own charity ball that with a boner. So stop this right now.”

“Oh, you don’t really mean that, Bellamy. Do you?” I whisper, bringing a hand around to grope his dick over his pants.

Bellamy clenches his jaw as Lincoln just watches, his own arousal already evident through his grey suit. I lightly lick Bellamy’s jaw as I wait for him to crumble, my eyes never leaving Lincoln’s.

“Upstairs. Now.” Bellamy pulls away, his large hand engulfing my tiny wrist as he pulls us away from the crowd, from the ballroom.

“Jesus, that took forever,” Lincoln whispers, already undoing his tie as he makes his way ahead of us to the grand staircase.

“If I didn’t have any self-control, I’d fuck you on these marble railings,” Bellamy growls in my ear and my resolve nearly breaks. “I almost lost it in front of all my guests. I’m not letting you off that easily, princess.”

Lincoln’s made it to the top. He’s talking to the butler, probably spreading some lie that I felt unwell, to tell their guests that he and Bellamy were sorry. I knew, almost for a fact, that I’d be the only sorry one tonight. The butler quickly nodded, running to inform the rest of the staff as Bellamy and I reached the top. Bellamy guided me to the bedroom, not walking in with me until he was sure no one else was there to witness the show.

I walked through the door, Lincoln awaiting inside with his tie in his hands, a small smirk playing on his lips as he sees me walk in.

“What’s with the tie?” I raise a brow, not pegging him as the rough kind. Passionate, sure. Rough? That’d be a pleasant surprise..

“This is here in case you touch us when we don’t ask you to,” Lincoln smirk grows, as does the bulge in his pants. He loves the power.

Bellamy quickly makes his way inside, locking the door behind us, his hands immediately around my neck as he slams me against the door.

“I thought I told you, princess. Tease me again, and I won’t let you cum. Not even if Lincoln begs you to cum in his mouth,” Bellamy raises his brows at me, a slight whimper escaping my mouth.

“But-”

“No buts or I’ll gag you,” Lincoln walks up, eyes dark as Bellamy loosens his grip. “Rip her dress off, Bellamy.”

Bellamy takes a step back and for the first time that night, or ever for that matter, I’m standing in front of them, untouched and fully dressed yet somehow feeling more vulnerable than ever. They both just stand there, eyes roaming every inch of me. For the first time, I find myself nervous. I squirm a little before Bellamy does what Lincoln asked him to do: he places his hands on either side of my neckline and rips my dress in half, my body completely bare underneath the fabrics. They both bite back a moan, staring at me as though their breath was caught in their throats. Lincoln gently pushes the straps off my shoulders and stands there in awe, both he and Bellamy still studying every inch of me.

“W-why are you guys staring at me like that?” I clear my throat and look up at them, Bellamy being the first one to return my gaze.

“Because you’re a work of art,” Bellamy whispers hoarsely.

“And we wanna savor every moment, but we also want to fuck you so hard that you can’t get up tomorrow morning,” Lincoln whispers, making the first move. He steps closer, one hand wrapping around my back as the other is splayed across my stomach. “May I?”

Unable to speak at all, I simply nod. Lincoln takes that as invitation enough. He latches his mouth around my nipple, his teeth grazing the hard bud.

Bellamy lets out a soft moan, not making any move to touch me. I whimper and his eyes meet mine, a touch darker than they were before.

“Won’t you help Lincoln out?” I moan as Lincoln smacks my ass.

“She tastes delicious, Bellamy,” Lincoln lets go of my nipple long enough to bury his face in my neck, biting down along the side as Bellamy takes a step and grabs the back of my neck.

“Spread your legs for me, princess,” Bellamy’s voice is husky at this point, clearly aroused. I immediately do as he asks, my legs spread out before him. His eyes linger on mine for a moment too long as his hand moves between my legs. “That’s a good girl.”

I moan as he sticks two long, slim fingers inside me, a small smirk on his face as he gets the reaction he hopes for. Lincoln steps behind me, his clothed bulge rubbing against my ass as he presses me against him.

“Please take off your clothes,” I whimper, finding it unfair that while I was bare, they were still fully clothed. Bellamy slides down between my legs, his mouth finding my clit as his fingers continued to move in and out of me. I let out a light yelp, my fingers carding themselves into his hair in an attempt to pull him closer. Bellamy immediately stops, looking up at me with raised eyebrows.

“Did we say you could touch us?” Lincoln growls into my ear as his hand wraps around my throat. “Did we say you could move?”

My eyes grow wide as Bellamy stands up, his dark orbs boring into my light brown ones. He removes his fingers from inside me only to use that hand to slap my pussy.

“I believe Lincoln asked you a question, princess,” Bellamy grits out, finding Lincoln’s tie and wrapping it around my wrists. “You have to answer his question.”

“N-no,” I whimper as Lincoln’s free hand snakes around me, his fingers gripping my nipple. “N-no, I was not allowed to touch you.”

“And yet, here we are,” Bellamy growls, slapping my pussy once again, more roughly this time. “You directly disobeyed us.”

“I-I’m so sorry. Please. It won’t happen again,” I bite my bottom lip as Lincoln takes a step away, and I once again find myself bare and vulnerable in front of the boys.

“Of course you won’t because you can’t,” Lincoln smacks my ass roughly as he tugs on the tie around my wrists, dragging me to the bed. Bellamy disappears into the closet before coming back out with rope in his calloused hands.

“Lay her down on the bed, Lincoln. And be gentle,” Bellamy smirks, knowing full and well this was the only time they’d be gentle with me.

Lincoln does as Bellamy asks, gently placing me in the center of the bed. He nips my earlobe, before stepping away and letting Bellamy do the rest. Taking one look at Bellamy, I could tell he loved this. He loved being in charge, punishing the girls who disobeyed him even the slightest bit. He wrapped both my arms and my legs to a bedpost before stepping away to admire his handiwork.

“God you look fucking perfect,” he growls as he Lincoln strip out of their suits, standing at the edge of the bed in their naked glory. I whimpered at the sight of them, at the idea of what they could and hopefully would do to me tonight. I was enjoying being tied up too much.

“Should we touch her, Bellamy?” Lincoln smirks, seeing my wetness pool between my legs. He knew I loved being dominated.

“I think we should show her what she’s missing first, don’t you?” Bellamy smirks, turning to face Lincoln as Lincoln raises a brow at him.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Lincoln growls, wrapping one arm around Bellamy’s waist and the other gripping the back of his neck. I let out a gasp, pleasantly surprised with their actions. Lincoln bites Bellamy’s bottom lip, sucking on it before kissing him fully, causing Bellamy to moan.

“Fuck,” I whimper, laying there hopelessly as Lincoln squeezes Bellamy’s ass, his mouth clearly dominating Bell’s.

I lift my hips up, hoping to get some sort of attention only to be ignored. Bellamy lifts a hand, roughly smacking Lincoln’s ass as Lincoln grounds his fully erect cock against Bellamy’s.

I moan loudly and Bellamy smirks, making a show of showering angry kisses all along Lincoln’s neck and shoulders, leaving marks across every surface his lips touched. Lincoln moans as Bellamy wraps his lips around Lincoln’s hardened nipples. He cards his fingers through Bell’s wavy brown locks just as I wished to do. Bellamy bites down on Lincoln’s nipple, causing Lincoln to scream as Bellamy tugs on it. Bellamy smirks as Lincoln grabs him by the hair, pulling him up only to smash his lips against Bell’s eagers ones. Bellamy whimpers as Lincoln sucks on his tongue and gently brushes his fingers against Bellamy’s anus.

“Fuck,” Bellamy whimpers against Lincoln’s lips as Lincoln smacks his ass.

“Turn around for me,” Lincoln smirks, rubbing Bellamy’s ass. “I really want to taste your ass, Bellamy.”

And that is when I lost my resolve. The words whispered between them at that point pushed me over the edge. All I want is for them to touch me, for me to please them, and so I did the one thing I swore I would never do: I begged.

“P-please,” I whimper, my hips lifted up to display my soaking, throbbing pussy. My nipples are erect and aching as they, too, beg for the boys’ touch. “P-please touch me. I-I’ll do anything, everything. Just please. I need you both.”

Lincoln moaned against Bellamy’s lips as I begged them both, nodding his head as Bellamy’s eyes landed on my abandoned body.

“Fine,” Lincoln nods, still rubbing Bellamy’s ass. “Lay on the bed, Bellamy. Get on all fours on the bed, Stick your ass out for me while you bury your face into Angel’s pussy.”

Bellamy quickly obliges, eager to feel both Lincoln’s tongue inside him and his tongue inside me. He rests himself right over me, his beautiful mouth just an inch away from my glistening opening. He smirks as I continue to lift my hips up desperately.

“Down, princess,” he whispers as he splays his fingers all over my opening, pushing me down. I moan loudly, even the slightest touch affecting me at this point. He chuckles, allowing his fingers to barely graze over the tops of my thighs. I whimper loudly under his teasing touch. His eyes meet mine and he lowers his lips against my throbbing, wet pussy. His open mouth barely settles on my clit and I let out a light scream, already near the edge. Bellamy realizes this, an evil smirk playing against his lips as he leans down again, doing the same exact thing only for a second longer.

“Ah, fuck, I’m so close!” I moan loudly and Bellany sticks his long, skilled tongue inside me as I scream. “Almost there, almost there,” I scream as he wiggles his tongue around, pulling it out just as I’m about to reach my high. I whimper, tears in my eyes as Bellamy chuckles and Nathan laughs, standing directly behind him.

“Aw did the little girl think we were going to let her cum so easily?” Lincoln smiles, proud of Bellamy’s work. “We’re barely getting started.”

Lincoln walks next to me, grabbing a glass of ice water from the bedside drawers and taking a sip, sighing as though his thirst had been quenched.

“Bellamy do you want to do the honors or shall I?” Lincoln holds the glass out to Bellamy and Bellamy grabs it.

“I would love to,” he reaches inside the glass, pulling out a couple ice cubes. “We’re going to have so much fun, princess,” Bellamy kisses my stomach before reaching over to put the glass back on the bedside drawer, the tip of his cock teasingly brushing against my pussy as he does so.

“Bellamy, fuck,” I whimper, already on edge from his previous teasing.

“Oops?” He smirks and takes a nipples into his mouth, sucking on it before letting it out with a pop. I whimper, a tear falling down my face as Bellamy continues to tease. “Princess, if we don’t give you multiple mind-blowing, leg-numbing orgasms, then my name isn’t Bellamy Augustus Blake.”

“We just like to play a little,” Lincoln whispers and kisses me roughly, his hand squeezing my nipples as I screamed into his mouth. “Does the princess like that? Does she like when I pull and pinch and bite her nipples?”

“Yes, sir,” I whimper and moan, everything they do pushes me more and more to the edge.

“That’s my filthy girl,” Lincoln moans as he bites my nipple, tugging on it before lifting himself up.

“Now,” Bellamy kisses my inner thigh and smiles. “I’m gonna place a single ice cube against your stomach, here,” Bellamy does as he says he would, the ice cube causing me to tense my stomach. “You’re not allowed to let this fall, understand?”

“Yes, sir,” I whisper, nodding under Bellamy’s strict gaze. “W-what about the other cube?”

“This one,” he smiles, a rueful look in his eyes. “This one is for your beautiful, swollen clit. I’ll hold it there while my tongue plays with the rest of you.”

“O-oh,” I whimper and nod, biting my bottom lip as Bellamy blows against my pussy.

Lincoln walks back over to Bellamy, smacking his ass, admiring the view. Bellamy hums contently, burying his face against my slits, using my pussy almost like a pillow as he trails the ice cube up my inner thighs.

“Ohhhh fuck,” I pull against the restraints, momentarily forgetting about the ice cube.

“Uh-uh-uh,” Lincoln shakes his head as Bellamy looks up at me. “You can’t let that fall.”

“Y-yes, sir,” I whisper, slowly letting go as the ice falls back against my navel.

“Good girl,” Bellamy whispers just as Lincoln leans down and sticks his tongue in Bellamy’s ass. “Oh, fuck,” Bell’s fingers dig into the my thighs as his nose rubs against my clit.

I arch my back, the ice cube rubbing against the top of my pelvis area as Bellamy lifts his head up. He takes his ice cube and places it directly on my clit, not moving it as I moaned.

Lincoln smacks Bellamy’s ass as he spreads his cheeks wider, burying his tongue in Bellamy’s tight hole. Bellamy moans and Lincoln smirks, sucking on his balls as Bellamy tries to control himself.

Bellamy replaces the ice cube on my clit with his teeth, biting it as he mercilessly sticks his fingers inside me. I arch my back, the ice cube now fully resting on my pelvis as I moan and beg. He quickly moves his fingers in and out of me as Lincoln’s mouth moves down, now taking all of Bellamy’s cock.

“Fuck, Lincoln,” Bellamy groans, letting go of my clit for a moment. “Just like that, baby. Just like that.”

Lincoln moans as he deep-throats Bellamy’s cock while Bellamy pulls his fingers out just as I’m about to cum. I whimper, fresh tears coating my cheeks as he does so.

Bellamy moves a hand up and circles his barely there ice cube against my nipples, with Lincoln still deepthroating him. Lincoln’s hands reach out, one of them to grab Bellamy’s balls and the other to play with his hole.

“Fuck,” Bellamy groans as Lincoln smacks his ass. “That’s my good boy. Pleasing me in all the best ways.”

I moan as I hear Bellamy praising Lincoln. Bellamy brings his other hand up as well, sticking his fingers in my mouth as I taste myself, smiling softly.

“My beautiful girl,” Bellamy moans and gently bites my stomach, pausing as Lincoln gags on his length. Bellamy grunts and moans loudly as he cums, I’m assuming, inside Lincoln’s mouth. “Fuck yes.”

Lincoln licks Bellamy clean and stands, a bit of cum dripping down the side of his mouth.

“Come here… please,” I whisper and Lincoln’s eyes go dark as he does what I ask, Bellamy’s eyes following our every move. Lincoln stops right next to me, his head lowering as he realizes what I want to do. “Bellamy, may I?”

Lincoln faces Bellamy, the cum leftover on his face now in clear view.

“Fuck, princess. Of course you may,” he groans and sits up, watching us.

Lincoln turns back to face me and I lift my head up slightly, poking my tongue out to gently lick Bellamy’s cum off his face. I sigh, reveling in the taste as Lincoln clenches his jaw. As soon as I’m done, Lincoln smashes his lips against mine, his tongue forcing itself into my mouth as I groan, tasting even more of Bellamy. He wraps a hand around my throat, groaning as he pulls away.

“I’m gonna fuck your mouth. How does that sound, Angel?” Lincoln growls as I whimper, nodding.

“Th-that sounds great, sir,” I nod and Bellamy kisses my pussy.

“And I’m going to fuck you. You can cum all you want this time, okay?” Bellamy rubs my thighs apologetically. “I know we’ve been rough, but god do I want to make you cum over and over and over.”

I moan and arch my back as Lincoln climbs on top of me, his dick inches from my face. I open my mouth for him and he groans, easily sliding his dick inside. I moan around his cock as Bellamy gently kisses my pussy, rubbing his thumb against my clit.

Bellamy places multiple open-mouthed kisses against my opening before diving in, finally giving me what I’ve wanted all along: he fucks me with his tongue. I writhe and moan, my mouth vibrating over Lincoln’s cock as I deepthroat him. He groans, cursing under his breath as he fucks my mouth, saliva pooling around my mouth. He pushes his cock in and out mercilessly, my eyes tearing up. Bellamy continues teasing my clit as his tongue moves rapidly in figure eights inside me. I let out a scream with Lincoln’s cock still in my mouth as I finally orgasm all over Bellamy’s face, squirting and writhing and shaking like there’s no tomorrow. Lincoln lets out a loud growl as he cums in my mouth, my scream pushing him over the edge. I swallow over bit of his cum, sucking him clean as he pulls his cock out of my mouth.

“Fuck,” Lincoln’s legs shake slightly as he slides down next to me.

I can barely make a sound: tears running down my face, saliva and cum all down my chin and neck, stomach still spasming as I finish riding my high.

Bellamy crawls over on top of me, wiping my tears and kissing me.

“You did it,” he grabs a towel and cleans my face and between my legs. I hiss, my pussy still sensitive from all the biting and teasing. “I’m sorry, princess.”

Bellamy kisses my chest as Lincoln unties all my limbs, gently kissing my wrists and ankles that now have rope burns on them. I nod gently, indicating that it was okay.

“What would you like to do next, princess?” Bellamy asks, pressing soft kisses against my stomach as Lincoln stretches out. “Princess?”

He and Lincoln both look over to find me asleep, a soft smile on my face as I lay spread out: marks and bruises covering almost every inch of me, their works of art.

@kaybee87 @all-things-the-100 @alloftheimaginesblog @kay-emm-gee @madgesundersee @bellamyblakeedition @bellamyblakesource @bellamygifs @the100daily @the100imagines @thisisparadisemylove @imaginesofeveryfandom @imagine-characters @spiritedbellamy @may-we-fangirl-again @smutandahalf @smut-hub @octavia-marie-blake @multifourdom

[ducktracy]

87. buddy the detective (1934)

release date: october 17th, 1934

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: billy bletcher (mad musician), bernice hansen (cookie), jack carr (buddy)

back to buddy! i can’t say i missed him too terribly, but i did find myself wondering what this one would entail. buddy goes on a hunt to save a kidnapped cookie from the “mad musician”.

a windy, blustery night. the perfect time for an evil musician to play some menacing drones on the piano. he pauses and shakes his head, unsatisfied with his work (though it sounds fine to me). a tree limb outside his window sneaks in and plays “shake your powder puff”, a much jollier, happier tune, prompting the musician to grip his hair and grimace. he tries his drab melody once more, hissing “GAH! i need INSPIRATION!”, complete with the evil billy bletcher laugh.

the setup for this gag is great, it’s so nonchalant. the musician approaches a bottle and a cup, and you brace yourself as he gets intoxicated to loosen up. as he pours, a little frog jumps into the cup, and then into his hand. of course! perfect! he hypnotizes the frog (i was wondering what made him so “mad”) and urges it to play a dirge for him. the frog settles on the much happier “amaryllis”, dancing on the keys, which irritates the musician. before any harm can be inflicted, the frog dives into a photo of a pond on the wall for refuge.

desperate for good music, the musician resorts to hypnotizing a portrait of napoleon brandishing a fiddle, the fiddle tunes once more upbeat and happy (and country). even the musician doesn’t destroy the fiddle. it destroys itself as the tunes are simply too hot to handle. as archetypal as the villain is, he’s different from past villains we’ve seen. billy bletcher’s voice characterization is wonderful, and the villain’s frustration, albeit comical, is certainly relatable.

fade to a newspaper, the headline screaming in bold letters “EXTRA! MAD MUSICIAN ESCAPES!” a pan out reveals that cookie is the one ogling at the headline, glancing apprehensively at the storm outside her window. i totally forgot they even redesigned her LOL so i had a moment where i was REALLY confused.

back to the musician, who snags his phone book and searches for a hapless victim to hypnotize. fun little note, some of the numbers include cast and crew, such as “clampett, r.” and “clopton, ben”. however, as predicted, he settles on “cookie” (no surname, of course) and rings her up. he hypnotizes her over the phone, urging “come to me, my little cookie!” cookie rightfully refuses, but succumbs regardless and walks to his house in a daze. i get that she’s under the influence of hypnosis, but her walk cycle feels very stiff: you could still play with it. if you’re going to make her stiff and robotic, make it REALLY stiff and robotic so it seems deliberate rather than accidental... but i digress!

remember that this cartoon is called buddy the detective? well, buddy finally makes an appearance 4 minutes in. cookie’s dog runs over to alert buddy of cookie’s whereabouts, knocking over buddy’s chair, as well as a fishbowl. the dog breaks the fishbowl that was on its head and barks to buddy, urging him to follow. he still doesn’t understand, but he does when the dog holds up a picture of cookie in its mouth that buddy had been admiring. he exclaims “gosh, cookie’s in trouble!” and dives right into some sherlock holmes garb that had been waiting conveniently at the door for him, and together they run off.

cookie is droning out the same dirge the musician had been trying to play. a very humorous transition as it shows her banging on the keys, then turning around with a big grin as she plucked out some jolly ragtime music. the musician is infuriated, a jack king trademark (which, really, is more of a hugh harman trademark) open mouthed scream towards the camera. he forces her to play the dirge, laughing maniacally.

buddy and cookie’s dog approach the house, wind still howling and thunder still booming. a regular james bond, buddy uses a flashlight and a magnifying glass to burn an entryway into the door. unbeknownst to buddy, a mischievous spider lands on his flashlight once inside. buddy signals for the dog to be quiet, shining his flashlight on various walls. the spider disappears and reappears with each flash, dancing and mocking buddy. it’s certainly original, for this time at least. the dog gets frightened and runs away, knocking buddy over and his flashlight. buddy deserts the flashlight as he chases the dog.

man, this mad musician is a murderer! an amusing gag of a skeleton coming out of a room and drinking from a water cooler, the water going right through it as buddy observes in horrified awe. buddy follows the skeleton, who uses an umbrella (love that it’s fittingly broken, just the skeleton of the umbrella is left) and heads out into the storm.

a terrified yowl distracts buddy’s observation as he darts to find cookie’s dog, who’s chasing another skeleton. the dog tackles it, snagging its leg. the skeleton then resorts to chasing the dog via crutches, nice visuals as the skeleton hobbles up the stairs and the stairs pushing to the ground into one giant slab. more stair gags galore as the dog slides down another staircase, the actual stairs pushing out like dominos and causing the skeleton to tumble over the pile.

terrified, the dog gets a curtain stuck to its tail, barreling into buddy and dragging buddy along on the curtain like a sled. we’re reminded of cookie’s existence as she begs for help, a clock’s pendulum launching buddy onto the landing of the staircase (which has no discernible stairs). he pulls at the doorknob of where she’s held captive, yet the musician pops out from a mini window and smacks buddy. cartoon physics to the rescue as buddy snags a door from an adjacent wall and plops it on the same wall, entering through that one instead.

fight scene! that’s what all detectives do, right? resort to fisticuffs? buddy kicks the unsuspecting musician’s butt, and they brawl as they’re both thrown into a door, spitting them back out. very amusing as the musician contorts himself and teaches under his legs to grab buddy, who’s trying to make a break for it. buddy yanks the musician by his unruly hair and spins him around, tossing him into a wall. who knew he had such strength?

a piano stool lands on the dazed musician. like a secret key, buddy spins the stool, and out pops cookie from the piano. he helps her down as she plays a few notes of the dirge to tease the musician, switching to ragtime as she and buddy dance, the musician writhing in agony. another scream/swallow the camera as we iris out.

not the most entertaining buddy cartoon, but not at all the worst. the title feels kind of redundant, as buddy didn’t do much detective worthy at all except put on a tweed suit. he barely had any screentime! i guess the directors didn’t quite know what to do with him. cookie was cute, but a mere plot device—though the scene where she smiles gleefully as she switches to unprecedented ragtime was very amusing. the mad musician was the most amusing character. great vocal characterization, great mannerisms, intriguing design. this cartoon felt it didn’t have much momentum or true urgency to it, and at times felt a bit dull and slow because of it. nevertheless, worth a possible watch, if at all just to hear billy bletcher do his evil laugh. peg leg pete as an evil musician!

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[ducktracy]

94. viva buddy (1934)

release date: december 12th, 1934

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: billy bletcher (pancho), jack carr (buddy)

jack king’s last buddy cartoon of 1934, the next cartoon being a ben hardaway entry. our adventurer buddy finds himself in mexico, but trouble arises when pancho, a caricature of wallace beery, shoots up a cantina.

hmm, it seems buddy’s hair is greased again? spoiler: cookie’s in this short, and she’s with her new redesign. who knows. buddy strolls through the streets of mexico, strumming his guitar and singing like always. just a collection of visual gags like always as he strolls the streets, walking up a wagon and crushing a duck, sliding down a ton of sombreros on top of a man’s head. the usual.

his destination? “CANTINA EL MOOCHER”. i KNEW there were going to be some stereotypes. buddy struggles to get inside as everyone’s snoring blows the doors open. haha! man, so funny! buddy enters through a window, everyone asleep. a game of checkers is engaged only by some mexican jumping beans on the tiles.

buddy tosses a coin in a man’s mouth, who plays the piano with his feet. everyone is thusly prompted to wake up, the cantina full of life as beer is served and a group of singers sing, the lead singer strumming a corset instead of a guitar. buddy even shows off his guitar kills, playing with his teeth and hands. the man can do everything! he’s a wunderkind! the guitar comes to life and plays itself as buddy eagerly dances along, playing it once more while doing a handstand and kicking his feet together to the beat of the music.

gunshots welcome a scene change as a man darts on his hours around town, shooting aimlessly. he urges his gang to follow, and we have a shot of a bunch of men shooting guns while riding in a car... and a nice pan out to reveal they’re carrying sides of the car and running with their feet fred flinstone style. the yosemite sam wannabe shoots various pots of tequila, one in a poster and one in reality. just because he can, right?

his poor horse attempts to flee, but the villain ties him up to a post, licking the horse’s tail to flatten it enough so it’ll go through the hole in the post. a nefarious mustache tug and a physical lift of the doors (like lifting a garage door) and the menace is inside the cantina.

various gunshots to accompany a grand entrance. the residents of the cantina recognize him instantly, exclaiming “pancho!” as he shoots around—shaving off some man’s hair, shooting a barrel with a man inside who shouts “pancho!”, another repeating the routine in a cash register, and my favorite: the marx brothers emerge from a murphy bed, introducing themselves as “zeppo!” “harpo!” “chico!” “groucho!” great gag!

pancho even targets buddy, blowing his banana to smithereens. that does it! buddy gives him a piece of his mind for ruining his fill of potassium, squirting the remains of the banana right in pancho’s laughing face. pancho holds buddy and gun point and backs him into the piano, ordering him to play.

ah, cookie’s here too for some reason! of course! she does a flamenco dance to accompany buddy’s piano music. the dance is cute, but not timed well to the sound effects of the castanets at all. i think it may have been reused from how do i know it’s sunday, too. pancho applauds the performance, clicking his gun holsters together and skating on his spurs. he spots cookie and flirts for her, asking for a “nice kiss”. cookie gives him a nice slap in the face, sending him skating backwards on his spurs outside, lodging himself in the door.

a nearby goat bucks pancho back INSIDE, where he continues to flirt like nothing happened. buddy grunts “that big bozo!” and lodges a fork right in pancho’s butt. two suction cups attached together (what we all need, right?) cover pancho’s pistols, who cries “CARAMBA!” and tosses his pistols to the floor. in retaliation, he summons a whip and snags buddy, dumping him right into his sombrero and giving a good ol’ billy bletcher villain laugh. it’s tried and true, but billy bletcher does do a great villain! that’s why he was the original peg-leg pete! well, from the 30s through the 50s, anyway. i think walt may have voiced him prior.

pancho yanks buddy out of the hat, who punches his stomach repeatedly upside down. a parrot cheers on the fight—i can’t tell if it says apricot or uppercut. i’d like to THINK it says “give him an uppercut! give him an uppercut!” but it sounds like “give him an apricot!” maybe just a dated reference that’s been lost to the sands of time. considering looney tunes’ humor (and the vaudeville performers of the day) the latter is a plausible option. buddy holds onto a chandelier as pancho swings him around by his feet, nice animation as the two fly off the chandelier and land into a shelf. the two pop out of the debris, and pancho, suddenly friendly, puts his arm around buddy and laughs “i was only foolin’, buddy!”, iris out as the two laugh it off.

unsatisfying as the ending was, i loved it. what a way to totally backtrack from the entire events of the cartoon! though it is a bit of a cop out from a “proper” ending, i suppose. that doesn’t bother me, but i can certainly see how that would be a problem. this cartoon was okay, nothing too great. the “lazy/sleepy” stereotypes were cringeworthy and annoying and detracted slightly from my enjoyment of the cartoon, though there isn’t too much to enjoy. buddy was cute, but not particularly charming or charismatic. pancho was full of personality and billy bletcher’s vocal performance definitely held my interest. the music was good, backgrounds good, animation decent... just another buddy cartoon that’ll be soon lost from my memory bank. probably safe to skip it, nothing too exciting.

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