#and their love interest can do nothing to stop it but hope they'll be okay in the end

[resol-nare]

Been thinking a lot about a scenario sometime after Malgus gets recaptured by the Empire where Evalu (Keeper for the Empire’s Hand at this point) gets captured by the Republic and put in their version of Malgus’s cell. Sure it’s a little overkill for someone not sensitive to the Force, but this is the Alliance Commander they’re dealing with so they’re not taking any chances.

Desperate times for the Republic call for desperate measures, and they’ve turned a blind eye while a few unsanctioned Jedi interrogation methods of questionable legality are used to extract information from her. She’s able to resist, naturally, but digging into someone’s consciousness with the Force is taxing on the mind. Eventually they dig far enough that they discover her history with the SIS and her brainwashing.

The problem with the Castellan restraints is that they’re never truly gone. The keyword Evalu assigned to herself is always floating around in her subconscious, no matter how hard she tries to forget it. But she’d sooner die in that prison than let the Jedi have it. 

Her interrogator tries to rip it out of her. Having Keeper on a leash is too good an opportunity to pass up, they can deal with the issue of morality later. Evalu grits her teeth as her nose bleeds. The more they push her, the harder she resists. But her grip on her keyword is one of titanium. All her brain trauma from the IX serum, the brainwashing itself, and the trick Valkorion used to shatter her mind on the Eternal Throne rears its head again. The Jedi has to relent from the force of the splitting headache.

Evalu can’t speak, can’t even think. But they didn’t get her keyword.

By the time Theron and Lana inevitably come for her, she’s unresponsive. The flight back to Odessen is horribly silent as Theron grips her hand in his the entire ride, afraid she’ll slip away from him again.

It’s two weeks before she can speak again, even if she can’t remember her words sometimes. It’s six weeks before she can move enough to try walking.  She heals away from the eyes of the public, with only Theron, Lana, and the Alliance’s most trusted medical staff tending to her. Lana has to drag Theron away from her bedside sometimes or he’d never leave. 

Intensive physical therapy sees her back on her feet, if not quite in fighting shape yet, in a few months. She forgets things sometimes, loses her train of thought mid-conversation, can’t think of the names of simple objects. It was like this after the restraints were activated by Ardun Kothe, but somehow it was worse knowing that the people she loved and cared for were watching this time.

[joelmillerisapunk]

I'll never stop makin' you feel this good

bfd!joel miller x f!reader

masterlist

↳ wordcount: 3,795

↳ summary: After returning to your hometown, you reconnect with your childhood friend Sarah and her father Joel, a retired firefighter. As you spend time with him, you can't deny the spark between you, and soon you find yourself on a date with Joel, where things quickly heat up and the chemistry between you becomes impossible to ignore.

~or~

↳ a dom!daddy date

↳ warnings: 18+, dom!Joel, implied age gap, light spanking, fingering, light male masterbation, public stuff? But nothing too wild.

↳ notes: my favorite line became the title since I couldn't find a song I liked. Ty @saradika-graphics as always for the dividers 💓 and tysm for the love and support on all my fics so far. As a brand new writer its been so incredibly validating. I've gained so many amazing followers, moots, and friends in the like two weeks I've been here. I LOVE YOU ❤️

After being away for several years to pursue your dreams of becoming a marine biologist, you return to your hometown to visit your family and your childhood friend Sarah Miller and her father Joel, a retired firefighter. Sarah was like a sister to you growing up, and you were excited to catch up with her and see how much she had grown.

As you walk up to the Miller's house, you can't help but feel a little nostalgic. You and Sarah used to play in the front yard for hours, pretending to be superheroes and exploring the neighborhood.

Joel greets you with a warm smile as he opens the door. "Howdy kiddo. Missed seein’ ya around," he says, extending his hand for a friendly handshake. And as your hand meets his, he takes in your appearance, he can't help but notice how much you've grown up, how much more mature you've become. He quickly clears his throat, trying to tame his thoughts.

You grin and shake his hand. "Hey, Mr. Miller. It's good to be back," you reply, trying to hide your nervousness.

"Mr. Miller makes me sound old. Just call me Joel,” he says, chuckling.

You giggle, "alright Joel it is."

Joel nods and stands straight. "Well, kiddo, how've you been? You look good."

"I've been really good, Mr. Miller - uh Joel. College is going well," you reply, feeling a little more at ease.

"College, huh? And what do you wanna be when you grow up?" Joel asks.

You giggle. “I'm not exactly five anymore, but I'm going to school to be a marine biologist," you say, your eyes sparkling with excitement.

Joel's face lights up in surprise. "Marine biologist... that's gotta be one dangerous job. You know, I saw a show on Netflix once about shark attacks. I thought a pretty thing like you shouldn't be near those monsters, they'll eat'cha whole."

You chuckle, "Yeah, they're quite terrifying, but I might have learned a thing or two in school.” You wink playfully.

“And just what do you learn about shark attacks in marine biology school?” Joel asks, skeptical.

You smile. “ Don't worry, I'll make sure to keep my professors in the loop," you reply, trying to keep a straight face.

Joel can't help but smirk, “alright darlin’, and moves to the side to let you inside.

After a few hours of catching up and reminiscing about old times with Sarah, it's time for you to leave. But just as you're about to head out the door, Joel stops you. "Uh hey, listen, could I interest you in dinner sometime? I know a good steakhouse nearby. I think we could have a good time and catch up," he says, with a hopeful expression on his face.

Caught off guard, you're unsure if he's asking you on a date, but it feels innocent enough, so you agree. "Yah, that'd be nice, Joel," you say, trying to keep a straight face. Secretly hoping it was intended for more.

"Great! I'll pick you up at eight, okay? Here, I'll text you the name of the place, and you can look it up if you'd like," Joel says, as he hands you his phone with the contact app already open.

You take his phone and place your number in it.

"Thanks, kiddo. Hey, you okay? You look a little anxious for a steak dinner," Joel says, noticing your nervousness.

"Not at all, looking forward to it," you reply, with a confident smile. You place a hand gently on his arm, feeling a warmth radiate between you two.

Joel smiles and says, "Alright, kiddo. I'll see you later, then."

"See ya later, Joel," you say, as you walk out the door, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation for your dinner date with Joel.

You're excited as you wait for Joel to pick you up for your dinner date. When he arrives, he knocks at your door, and when you open it, he says, "You ready to eat some steak, kiddo?"

You open the door, ready as ever. “Joel, you don't have to keep calling me kiddo. I'm not a child anymore.”

“Alright, darlin’, let's get going, then.” He holds out his hand, and you take it. When you get to his car, he opens the car door for you. You hurry in, eager to spend time with Joel.

“There's some great steak at this restaurant. You'll love the atmosphere there, it's a classy place. The staff is professional, not chatty, and very good customer service.” He smiles as he puts his car in gear and starts driving”

You smile and look forward as he drives. “I can't wait.”

When you arrive, he gets out and opens the door for you, then locks up his car. “Ladies first. That's how me and your old man were raised.” He laughs as you walk toward the restaurant.

You chuckle, “such a gentleman.” You get to a big glass door, a maitre d' greets you and seats you in a booth at a table for two. “Doesn't look too crowded tonight.” He takes off his jacket and hangs it on the back of his chair.

You take your coat off as well, revealing a very fitted dress. “It's beautiful, Joel.”

He looks at you and smiles, staring at you for a second “You look beautiful, very nice dress. You're much more grown up now than the last time I saw you.”

You feel yourself getting warm as you sit down, “thanks, you're not too bad yourself.” You manage to wink at Joel.

He laughs, “I'm sure you've got a lotta boys chasin’ you.” He pauses for a moment, eyeing you up and down before he continues, “that dress sure does suit you darlin’.” He grins mischievously.

You giggle, “well not exactly the boys I want to be chasing me.” You grin at him playfully. “I'm glad you like it, I just got it, actually.”

“Oh? And who exactly are you hoping to chase you.”

“I dunno, someone a little older, strong, I'm tired of boys.” You look into his eyes. “A real man who knows how to take care of a woman.”

He grins, leaning in a bit “So, you like a dominant man, huh? Would you say I fit the bill?”

You're a little surprised by Joel's straightforwardness but lean in closer, testing the waters a bit. “Well, I'm not so sure just how dominant you are, Mr. Miller, I might need you to show me.” You wink, biting your bottom lip.

He leans in even closer across the table and whispers in your ear. “Don't talk like that, or you're gonna get me all riled up. A girl like you should be careful about what you say.”

You whisper breathily in his ear, "I like a little danger.”

His eyes widen, shocked that you would say something so…naughty. “Are you tryin’ to get me to do something at the dinner table?” He says in a hushed tone. “Don't tempt me, baby.”

“Yes, sir.” You sit back and wink at him, liking his authoritative behavior but still feeling a bit defiant. You run your foot up his leg till it hits his thigh, your gaze locked onto his eyes.

He grins, placing his hand on your leg, slowly moving it up your dress, “You're playing with fire, darlin’.” His hand slowly makes its way up your leg, and you can feel the heat building between your legs.

You look into his eyes and challenge him, "Hmm, well, what exactly would you do with a girl like me?"

Joel's hand is now resting on your inner thigh, and you can feel his fingers lightly tracing circles on your skin. He leans in closer to you, "I think you already know what I'd do to you." You feel a shiver run down your spine.

The waiter comes to your table and asks if everything is alright, but you barely register his presence. All you can focus on is the feeling of Joel's hand on your thigh and the way his eyes are burning into yours. Joel leans back in his chair and sips his wine, never taking his eyes off of you. You can feel your heart racing as you stare back at him, wondering what he's going to do next.

The waiter brings your wine that Joel ordered, and you take a sip, feeling the warmth spread through your body. Joel's hand is still on your thigh, and you can feel him slowly sliding it up higher and higher.

"I love the way you breathe when I touch you. Makes me feel all-powerful." Joel's voice is filled with desire, and you can't help but feel the same way.

You look at him, challenging him, "You think you can tame me, Mr. Miller?"

Joel grins, "I don't like the word tame. I prefer the word... break. If I'm gonna take charge, I'm gonna take it completely, and this dress of yours ain't survivin' the night."

Your heart is pounding in your chest as Joel's hand reaches the top of your thigh. You can feel his fingers lightly grazing your wet panties, and you gasp at the sensation. "Think you can handle this old cowboy darlin’?" Joel's voice is low and dangerous, and you can feel yourself getting lost in his eyes.

You nod, unable to speak, as Joel's fingers start to move in slow circles over your clit. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, and you moan softly as Joel's fingers quicken their pace. Suddenly, Joel pulls his hand away, leaving you wanting more. He stands up, offering to help you up as well. "You really think I’d let a pretty thing like you come in public? Come on, it’s time for us to eat in private."

You follow Joel out of the restaurant, feeling dizzy with lust. You can barely believe what just happened. As you walk to Joel's car, you can feel his hand on the small of your back, guiding you towards his black Mustang. You slide into the passenger seat, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Joel starts the car, and you take off towards Joel's place.

You feel so innocent and young next to Joel, but you love the feeling. You follow him through his house until you reach a small room with a couch, a TV on one side, and a fireplace on the other. Joel pours you a glass of wine and hands it to you, his eyes never leaving yours. You take a sip, feeling the warmth spread through your body.

He goes back to the kitchen to just grab the entire bottle. You make your way around, looking at all his stuff. You pick up a small carving, accidentally dropping it on the floor and bending over to pick it up, but your dress doesn't fully cover you. Joel walks back at the perfect time and can see everything, but you don't notice, so he's quiet and sets the bottle down before moving toward you.

"Oh, I like this little maneuver of yours,” Joel's voice is low and gravelly as he takes in the sight of you bent over, your dress riding up to reveal your lacy underwear. He steps closer to you, his hand tracing a path between your legs, stopping just shy of your center. "I like it a lot," he growls, his breath hot on your neck.

You gasp as you feel his fingers brush against your sensitive skin, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. You're unable to resist the urge to push back against him, wanting more of his touch. Joel takes advantage of your position, his fingers slipping beneath your underwear as he explores your wet folds. You moan softly, your head falling back as he teases you with his touch.

"So, so wet for me," Joel murmurs in your ear, his fingers moving in slow, deliberate circles. "I can feel how much you want me.” You can't deny it - you want him more than you've ever wanted anyone before. You push back against him, trying to get him to give you more. Joel chuckles, his fingers stilling for a moment before he gives you what you want. He plunges two fingers deep inside you, his thumb rubbing slow circles over your clit. You cry out in pleasure, your body trembling as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. But just as you're about to come, Joel pulls away, leaving you wanting. You turn to look at him, your eyes pleading for more.

He grins wickedly, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Not yet, darlin’ hold on for me.” Joel stands up, walking over to the fireplace and stoking the flames. You can't take your eyes off of him, watching as he moves with a confidence and authority that makes your heart race.

He turns back to you, his eyes blazing with desire. "Take off your dress. I want to see you." You hesitate for a moment, but the look in Joel's eyes tells you that he's not going to take no for an answer. You stand up straight, reaching behind you to unzip your dress. As the dress falls to the ground, you stand before Joel in nothing but your underwear. He lets out a low whistle, his eyes taking in every inch of your body. "Fuck, you're beautiful," he growls, his eyes dark with desire.

You feel a shiver run down your spine as Joel's eyes roam over your body. You've never felt so vulnerable, so exposed - and yet so wanted. Joel reaches down, adjusting himself as he stares at you. "Take off your underwear, too. I want to see all of you."

You nod, your hands shaking as you slip your underwear down your legs. You step out of them, standing before Joel completely naked. He lets out a low groan, his eyes devouring every inch of your body. Joel reaches down, pulling his cock out of his jeans and boxers. He starts stroking himself, his eyes never leaving yours. "Watch me darlin’. Watch as I stroke my cock, thinking about all the things I'm gonna to do to you."

You can't take your eyes off of him as he strokes himself, his hand moving up and down his shaft. You've never seen anything so hot before. You watch as Joel continues to stroke himself, his eyes locked on yours. You can feel your body responding to the sight of him touching himself.

"C'mere darlin," he beckons, patting the space beside him. As you move to sit next to him, his fingers begin to trace a path up your leg, inching closer and closer to your wet center. Once there, his touch becomes more deliberate, circling your clit with a gentle touch that sends shivers down your spine. You can't help but moan softly, your hips bucking up to meet his skilled fingers.

He stops for a moment and with a firm but gentle grip, Joel guides you to turn over, positioning you face down, ass up on the couch, he finds your clit quickly again as his other hand comes down on your ass with a sharp smack, the sound echoing in the small room. The sting of his hand on your skin only serves to heighten your arousal. His hand comes down on your backside once again, the sound of his palm against your skin filling the room. The mixture of pleasure and pain is intoxicating, leaving you breathless and wanting more. Joel smirks, his hand coming down again and again, the pain mixing with pleasure in a way that leaves you dizzy.

"You like that, don't you?" Joel's voice is low and rough, his fingers still moving in slow circles over your clit. "You like it when I take charge, when you don’t have to do anything but what I tell you, no thinkin’ just doin’."

You nod, unable to speak. It's true - you do like it. You like the way Joel makes you feel helpless, his to do with as he pleases. Joel growls, his fingers plunging deep inside you again. This time, he doesn't stop, his hand moving faster and faster as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

You moan louder, your hips bucking up to meet his hand. Joel's other hand comes down on your ass again, only adding to the pleasure. Finally, Joel's fingers still, his fingers resting deep inside you as you come hard. You cry out, your body trembling as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you.

Joel pulls his fingers out of you slowly, holding them up to your lips. "Taste yourself. See how sweet you are." You open your mouth, your tongue darting out to taste your own juices. It's unlike anything you've ever tasted before, and you can't get enough.

Joel smirks, his hand moving up to your hair. He grips it tightly, pulling your head back so that you're looking up at him. "You're mine now, and I'll do whatever I want with you." All you can do is whimper in excitment, your heart racing in your chest. You've never felt so alive. Joel releases your hair, his hand moving back down to your thigh. "Good girl," he murmurs, his fingers tracing lazy circles over your skin.

You lean back against the couch, feeling boneless and sated. Joel leans down, his lips brushing against your ear. "I'm going to make you scream, again and again and again."

Joel stands up, his hands moving to the buttons on his own shirt. You watch as he undoes each one, revealing his muscular chest and arms. Your eyes widen as he kicks off his shoes and socks, followed by his pants and boxers. His cock stands at attention, and you can't help but lick your lips in anticipation. Joel's eyes follow your gaze, a smirk crossing his lips. "Like what you see, darlin'?" Joel steps closer to you, his hands reaching out to grab your ass.

Joel lifts you up with ease, his strong arms supporting your weight as your legs wrap around his waist. You can feel the head of his cock lightly brush against you, causing you to gasp at the contact. He takes a moment to look into your eyes, a smoldering gaze that makes your heart race.

With a gentle yet firm grip, he guides his cock to your entrance, teasing you with small thrusts that make you squirm with anticipation. You can feel how wet and ready you are for him, your body begging for more.

Joel then slowly pushes himself into you, filling you up completely. You let out a moan as he bottoms out, his cock buried deep inside you. He pauses for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his size. You can feel the warmth and tension building up inside you, your body responding to his cock sitting inside you.

With ease, Joel carries you upstairs to his bed, never breaking eye contact with you. Once he reaches the bed, he tosses you down onto it, his body following you down. He positions himself at your entrance, teasing you with his cock. "You ready for me, darlin'?"

You nod, your body trembling with anticipation. Joel thrusts inside you, filling you up completely. You cry out in pleasure, your nails digging into his back as he starts to move. His thrusts are hard and fast, each one sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Joel's hands are on your hips, holding you in place as he fucks you. "You like that, darlin'? You like it when I fuck you like a dirty little slut?" Joel growls, his fingers digging into your hips. You moan, your body responding to his words. “Tell me how much you like it, darlin'. Tell me how much you love my cock inside you," Joel commands, his fingers tightening around your hips.

"I love it. I love your cock inside me. Please, don't stop," you beg.

Joel smirks, "I'll never stop fucking you, darlin'. I'll never stop making you feel this good." Joel's thrusts become more erratic as he chases his own release, his cock driving deeper into you with each stroke. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your body begging for release.

"Come for me, darlin'. Come all over my cock," Joel growls, his voice deep and raw with desire.

His fingers tighten around your hips, pulling you closer as he pounds into you. You can feel every inch of him, his thick cock stretching you wide as he fucks you hard and fast.

Your body trembles with pleasure, your pussy clenching around him as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Joel's thrusts become more urgent, his hips slamming into yours as he chases his own release.

"Fuck, I'm close," he growls, his breath hot against your neck.

You can feel him tensing up, his cock swelling inside you as he gets closer and closer to the edge. Joel's thrusts become more erratic, his hips slamming into yours as he chases his own release.

With a loud groan, Joel stills, his cock buried deep inside you as he comes. You can feel him pulsing inside you, a feeling you never knew you'd love so much. Joel collapses on top of you, his breathing heavy as he pants against your neck.

You wrap your arms around him, feeling more content and satisfied than you ever have before. Joel's cock is still buried deep inside you, and you can feel him softening as he comes down from his high. You moan softly as he slips out of you, your body missing the feeling of him inside you.

Joel rolls over onto his back, his chest heaving as he catches his breath. You can see the satisfied look on his face, and you can't help but smile, your bodies entwined as you lay together.

Joel's cock is still glistening with your juices, and you can't help but reach out and touch him. You wrap your hand around his softening length, feeling him twitch at your touch. "You feel amazing," you murmur, your fingers tracing the veins that run along the length of his cock.

Joel smiles, his hand reaching out to touch your face. "You're amazing," he replies, his voice soft and filled with emotion.

You lay there together, your bodies entwined as you bask in the afterglow of your lovemaking. You feel more connected to Joel than ever before, your bodies and souls intertwined as you lay there in the peaceful silence, content and fulfilled in each other's arms.

[creativewritersposts]

fucked up - Nico Hischier

summary; Nico Hischier x reader.

The honest opinion from a person you really like can hurt the most. But what if Nico regrets it?

warning(s); bad language, angst, argument, fluff, maybe grammar errors

author's note; based on a true story. I'm sorry for not posting "happy-clappy fluff imagines" like usually (promise they'll come back soon). I can't write just pure fluff when I'm crying a river.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It's the third day in a row that Nico doesn't want to talk with you. You can't explain why, but your stomach feeling tells you, something is not okay. You tried to distract yourself with work, work and more work. But when you step in your apartment, you're mentally break down. Your overthinking says hello. You grab your phone, trying to call him, just his mailbox.

"What did I do wrong", you mumble to yourself, biting on your lip. It's rainy outside, like how you feel. You're starring at other people out of the window, until your phone vibrates. "hello?", you start the conversation without looking on the screen, who it is. "it's Nico, are you at home?", his voice sounds deep and kinda annoyed, "yes", you smile, happy to hear he's alive. "Ok bye", he hangs up without a second. You stress yourself to cook a nice dinner in an hour until the door bell rings. "hi baby!", you want to wrap your arms around his neck, but he pushes you politely away, "we need to talk, something is bothering me", his brown eyes let you feel confused, he never been so serious. You nod and let him walk in your kitchen. "I cooked dinner for us two", you smile to blow the negative vibes away. "Do you think dinner will change the fact you act exaggerate?!", his tall body turns around because he stands before you. "huh?", you're even more confused. "We're not together and you stress me out", he tolerates no argument whilst speaking. Honestly you're not able to argue. It's like a punch in your face. "what did I do?", you feel so small. Even when he told you this in a respectful way. "you stress me out. You want to text non-stop and you're not my girlfriend, not yet. After last night with five text messages I'm thinking if it's a good idea to ask you for that", Nico grabs your shaky hands,"it's not like I'm not interested anymore", he kisses your forehead. You're just able to nod and accept the fact. What he needs and wants.

"Thank you for telling me this", your fake smile shows sadness. Nico doesn't want to hurt you on purpose. "I'll pack in the pesto for you", with blurry eyes you do that, giving him the lunch box. Nico just stays calm, taking it and when you close the door behind you, he thinks of hoping you understood what he meant.

The next days your chest feels heavy, texting no message, you don't call him, you let him his freedom. You know Nico lost the finals of the world championship, he looked so disappointed and usually you would at least send him something lovely, but your brain tells you; you were clingy. You're the problem. You're a bad Person for bothering someone. You don't enjoy being a clingy girl.

In the middle of night your phone vibrates again, like ten times until you groan, you're not in the shape to talk happy phone calls. "hey, are you ok?", his voice sounds occupied. "Sure", you reply. "You didn't text me once. I'm worried. We lost", he let you know the news. Of course you're not saying that you watched his game. Like he gave you a clear message. You would be clingy you're not his girlfriend and he owes you nothing.

"I'm sorry to hear that", your hands shake again. You don't feel comfortable anymore, more like you have to hide your personality to be not the problem anymore. "I didn't mean that I don't like to talk with you", he coughs. "I really like you anyway as a person who you are", he talks more. "I'm tired, good night", hanging up until he can hear how much you're hurt. Just thoughts hunting you in your head;

what are you doing now?

What is the right way to deal with this?

[your-name-is-jim]

What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 1/2]

[Part 2]

This is a pretty long post in two parts, so I hope you'll find it interesting. Don't worry, I shared a lot of pictures too! :)

First of all, what is it about?

An analysis about a 32-pages comic published in 2020 by IDW Publishing. More specifically, I'm talking about the Valentine's Day special from the comics series Star Trek: Year Five that I recommended here. The title of this story is Captains of Sea and War, and this is the official summary:

"James T. Kirk has had many loves during his mission among the stars, but this time he may have met his match in fellow Starfleet Captain Laura Rhone."

As I said in my review of Star Trek: Year Five, this Valentine's Day special is not linked to anything else in the main comics series. That means it can be read alone or, on the contrary, it can be skipped if you're only interested in the series (where Kirk doesn't have love interests, by the way).

Do I recommend this comic issue?

It depends on your preference! Just like the rest of Star Trek: Year Five series, the art is great and so is the characterization, at least most of the times. Jim is written as a romantic book lover and definitely not as a womanizer. However, if you only ship Kirk/Spock or you're not into Kirk romance with women in general, I believe you should avoid wasting your time and money. Just read my analysis if you're curious! :)

Why am I talking about this? And why as a Kirk/Spock shipper?

Good question. The short answer is that I read this comic and I have a lot of thoughts about it.

The long answer is that I love TOS Kirk and I'm interested in him as a character, romantic scenarios included. Since Kirk/Spock is my OTP, I can't suddenly take my slash goggles off, so I already knew before reading this comic that I'm not exactly the target audience and nothing is ever going to convince me that Spock isn't The One for Kirk. However, it was an interesting reading in multiple ways, so I'd like to say why!

I want to be 100% clear about my Kirk/Spock preference because even if I will try to talk objectively about the comic to a certain degree, this analysis is biased; if you don't like Kirk/Spock, this is NOT the post for you. That said, you may not see the point in a K/S shipper writing an analysis about a romance between Kirk and a female character, but… well, unless someday they'll release official Kirk/Spock comics, this is all we have.

There are two reasons why I read this story despite being pretty much a monoshipper when it comes to Kirk:

I had already read the main comics series and I liked it a lot, so I wanted to give this special a try.

I thought it was probably going to be okay, because in my headcanon Kirk and Spock don't actually get together until The Motion Picture. Kirk has a lot of love interests before that movie, so adding another one doesn't really bother me. It turned out (as I'll mention later) that I wasn't completely right about the era, but I take Star Trek comics as "extras", so I just ignore what I don't like.

Note: this analysis contains SPOILERS from the entire Valentine's Day special.

However, it does not contain spoilers from the main Star Trek: Year Five comics series. So, if you're planning to read that one, you're safe here! Just avoid this post if you don't want spoilers about the Valentine's Day issue.

Okay, are you ready? Let's go!

So, Jim is on shore leave with Bones. As you can see, the moment a pretty woman gets close to them, Bones leaves, because he's a great friend :)

We already know from the summary that the woman who talks to Jim is Captain Laura Rhone. Now, I'm already going to stop here to take a moment to at least appreciate the creators' effort: as someone interested in fictional writing, I must admit that creating a Valentine's Day special in 2020 about James T. Kirk finding love is an extremely hard task, to put it mildly. Seriously, if it can't be Spock (or the Enterprise :P), how the hell do you even do it? Are you going to give Jim another woman-of-the-week who's going to die? Another blond white woman? Another woman who forces him to choose between her and his ship? Or, on the contrary, a woman who'll choose for him and break up because she knows he wants the Enterprise?

NO.

Star Trek TOS was made in the 1960s, but we're in the 2020s now. Fans are tired to see always the same tropes with female love interests, and some of those tropes are just very outdated. So what does this comic do? Well, first of all, fixing what didn't work in Turnabout Intruder. Oh, let me get this straight: overall, I like Turnabout Intruder. I love the canon bodyswap, and I lost count of how many times I quoted "You are closer to the Captain than anyone in the universe" in my Kirk/Spock fan-fictions. However, there's no way that in the 2020s we're going to believe that a positive future means this:

In the Valentine's Day comic, Janice Lester still exists (she's mentioned once in a dialogue), but since Laura Rhone is a very good Starfleet captain around the same time, I believe we're now supposed to think that Janice was one crazy person who was never going to become a captain because of her personality and behavior, not because she's a woman. This is actually how I've always liked to mentally re-write this part of Turnabout Intruder in my head, because that's how I want to imagine it.

Anyway, back to the comic. Captain Laura Rhone is on shore leave too; she recognizes Captain James T. Kirk and she decides to introduce herself to him. She's very straightforward about her interest in him, so we immediately see that part of her personality.

Of course, the two captains can't enjoy their shore leave until the end. I'm posting this part to appreciate Bones in his beach clothes and Laura's very loyal Andorian officer who slips ("Laura! I mean, Ma'am!") when she sees her Captain in danger and oh whoops now I ship them. She doesn't remind me of anyone, I don't know what you're talking about.

Anyway, wrong ship. I'm obviously not following what the story is trying to tell me, because this is what happens next:

Just a moment to appreciate sleeping Jim. Cute.

So, after that night together, Jim and Laura don't see each other for 6 months. They meet again when the Drake, Laura's starship, has a battle against a group of space pirates and the Enterprise intervenes without consulting Laura first. Laura and Jim have a slight fight about that, but Jim apologizes, and it ends with them in bed again.

After that, because Jim is a romantic man, not a womanizer, and thank goodness the creators of this comic know, Jim asks Laura on a date. As they're walking together on a planet, Laura points out that they're doing things in the wrong order. Jim's reply is rather interesting: he asks her if they need to know what they're doing, and if there has to be a shape or a meaning to it. It's the first sign that even if they're both obviously attracted to each other, Jim is unsure about the kind of relationship he wants with her. When I think about his previous experiences, I believe it makes sense. He may be a romantic at heart, but he suffered so much for love that I can see why he's trying to be careful. There's also another reason, more related to the time this story takes place, which is a few months before the end of Jim's five-year mission. We see it here:

Ah, yes, a typical first date conversation: what Spock talks about. Well done, Jim. Saying "a friend of mine" doesn't make it less obvious; I did my Star Trek homework and I know you're quoting the basis of Vulcan philosophy to her :D

(Of course, now I won't stop imagining Jim casually mentioning Spock during every single date he has with someone… That would explain why his love stories never last…)

On a serious note, as I was working on this analysis I realized something extremely interesting about the context of Jim's lines. Jim is mentioning IDIC when he's questioning his future as a starship captain. He remembers that Spock talks about Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations, but Jim can only do one job. However, what will Spock tell him someday, right next to an IDIC flag?

Now, I don't know if the people who worked on the Valentine's Day comic really thought about this, but I think it's still, well, fascinating that Jim is using Spock's words to think about his own future, but he's following the wrong direction. I believe it's also worth pointing out that Spock will tell Jim that commanding a starship is his "first, best destiny" years after finding his own place in the universe. On the contrary, during the time this comic takes place, Spock is busy with his own inner distress.

Anyway, that's enough Spock for now. Back to Jim's first date with Laura…

So, I started this analysis with a question: how the hell do you write a love story with TOS Kirk in 2020? This is the way this comic tries to answer: you create a female character just like him.

Okay, they look cute together. Laura loves being a starship captain! She loves reading! And dancing! And climbing!

Wait, wait, wait. I appreciate the inclusion of Jim Kirk's canon hobbies. I really do! But aren't we forgetting one?

This is interesting. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but this makes me think that they didn't want Laura to have something in common with Spock. Spock is the character who plays chess the most in TOS, so I can see why the creators of the comic didn't want the readers to think about Spock instead of thinking about Jim's girlfriend. That would be too bad, huh? :)

There's also horseback riding missing, but that doesn't appear until the movies, so even if I personally believe that a farm boy like Jim learned how to ride horses when he was young, I can see why they skipped it in this comic. It's also mostly associated to another love interest (Antonia from Generations), but if this is the reason they didn't want to show Jim and Laura riding a horse, I'm just going to think even more that the lack of chess is suspicious, and they're counting Spock as one of the "girlfriends".

On the other hand, since horseback riding is associated to starship captains in TOS and TNG (I don't know about the other Star Trek TV series because I haven't watched them yet), I think it would have been a good idea to have one panel with Jim and Laura riding.

That said, if I had to make a guess about the real reason the comic doesn't show horses… I'm a doctor writer, not an artist, but I believe that drawing horses can be a pain in the ass, so in this comic they just didn't bother haha

Anyway, back to the plot! As I said, Jim and Laura's personalities are very alike. Of course, that doesn't mean they're perfect for each other, but I admit that this premise made me curious when I read this comic. Let's find out if it works out!

I'm posting this picture because of the book Laura is holding: first of all, this is where the title of this story, Captains of Sea and War, comes from. But it's also important to remember the book. You'll see why in Part 2. :)

So, two months later, Jim and Laura trust each other as captains without even talking:

We see Laura's other friend, probably her first officer, trying to warn her, just as Spock does on the Enterprise. I'm taking a little moment to appreciate "Noted, adored, and ignored, Commander", because it's really sweet. Imagine Jim telling this to Spock :D

So, the captains are right, and everything is good, because…

Okay, okay, wait a minute.

Apparently, one of the good things of this relationship is that Jim and Laura make a good team together. They don't even need to communicate to understand each other during a mission. Now… I don't even need to put my K/S goggles on to say that Jim and Spock are canonically one of the best teams in Starfleet, if not The best team. You don't need to ship them to know how many times they understand each other without words in the series, how many times they make plans and just know what the other will do, how many times Spock hears/sees someone that should be Jim and just knows something is wrong, and so on. Of course, as a Kirk/Spock shipper, reading in a Valentine's Day special that making a good team is good for Jim's love life makes me happy!

"Yep. All that sex didn't go to waste."

Jim. Jim. Are you saying that you and Laura are a good team in Starfleet because you had a lot of sex? I'm not even going to say what this makes me think as a K/S shipper… Did I say that Kirk and Spock are the best team? :D

Okay, okay, maybe it's not the same. Because Spock is a man, and Jim isn't attracted to men… right?

Ahem. I lost my mind when I read this for the first time, and I'm going to lose it again.

"There don't seem to have been many ladies in your life. Gentlemen, either." "Well, I've been busy."

Now, let's be honest here: Laura's lines didn't have to be phrased that way. We know Jim likes women, so even nowadays nobody would bat an eye at "there don't seem to have been many ladies in your life"; and if you're the writer of a very heterosexual comic who wants to avoid K/S shippers like me thinking "hehehe, because Jim has a man in his life", you can still write something neutral like "there don't seem to have been many lovers/romantic partners in your life". Or just a generic "it looks like you haven't been on many dates lately".

Laura mentioning "gentlemen" explicitly can make some readers think that men are an actual option for Jim. (Me, I'm "some readers".) Sure, it's not a confirmation, but Jim doesn't deny it. He just says he's been busy. There is room for interpretation in multiple directions, but even if I put my personal preference aside, I think it's important to remember something: in context, in this part of the story, Laura knows Jim. We've seen in a previous panel that they've done a lot of things together. Laura is not a stranger who may say "you don't have a girlfriend… or a boyfriend" because they don't know Jim. Personally, I think it's very likely that Laura asks about ladies and then adds gentlemen because she knows Jim is bisexual with a preference on women. It fits my headcanon for him. (Of course, he can be into anyone, not just men and women, and he has a preference for women because hasn't tried dating Spock yet :D)

Anyway, the other thing that panel points out is that neither captain would give up on their own starship. Well, that's fair.

Okay, okay, I'll be serious: Jim sacrifices the Enterprise in The Search for Spock during an emergency. Of course, it's definitely not a coincidence in the narrative that said emergency happens because Jim is looking for Spock's body. However, we all know how much Jim loves the Enterprise and how bad he feels without a starship, so it's only fair that in normal circumstances, he shouldn't be forced to give up on his "silver lady".

Laura understands that they're the same, so...

This is another thing I appreciated! Who cares about gender norms, a woman can propose to James T. Kirk! :D

Now, just as I said about the "gentlemen" line, it's important to think about the context of this proposal. When the two of them are drinking together, Laura says "I've been asking around about you". That means Jim and Laura's relationship is still casual, to the point that she could have expected him to have flings with other people too. Honestly, this is just my opinion, but I'm not even sure I'd call it exactly an open relationship, because that would still imply a relationship in the first place. I'm mostly referring to the fact that Laura has been asking around about Jim's love life instead of just, you know, asking him? I believe that if they trusted each other and were in an open romantic relationship, either they wouldn't care about each other's partners or they would just talk about it. Since Laura wants to marry Jim and have an exclusive relationship with him, it makes sense for her to bring up Jim's love life. However, I can't really help side-eyeing that "I've been asking around".

Am I reading too much into this? It's possible, but this is another clue about their dynamic that I'll mention later in the story.

Sooo, Laura asks Jim to marry him. What does Jim answer?

Unfortunately, I reached Tumblr limitations of the number of pictures I can share, so… you'll find out in Part 2!

If you're reading my analysis for the Kirk/Spock shipper's point of view, I especially recommend the second half, because that's where things get more interesting! :D

I hope you enjoyed the first part of this analysis! Thank you for reading until the end! See you soon!

Part 2!

[sleketon666]

This post gave me a lot of opportunities to think more of Marie and so I wrote down some of the questions and Marie's reactions! This was a lot of fun and I hope I'll continue working on other points as well. Or perhaps they'll just give me some ideas for art.

So, anyway. Let's go.

Combat/Movement

1. Clicking on them once (non-combat)

Greetings.

I'd prefer a more gloomy place.

I'd rather be sleeping now.

Never thought I'd get this far...

Are we there yet?

What new shall the day bring?

I wonder...

Can't keep your eyes of me, huh?

2. Spam clicking on them too many times

She just goes sans mode and starts telling terrible necromamcy-related jokes.

How are skeletons so calm? I guess nothing can get under their skin.

Do you know why necromancers make such good friends? We're simply great at raising people's spirits.

You know, I once met a girl, a necromancer as well. She was such a heart stealer.

Why do people hate on necromancers? Can't a girl raise a family in peace?

humming Die, die, we all pass away, but don't wear a frown, 'cause it's really okay-

3. Directing them to attack/move in combat

Attack Another one bites the dust / Say your final prayer / Your pretty corpse will serve me well

Moving Let's shake these old bones / Step by step / Let's dance

4. Hiding/sneaking/hidden movement

Gotta add some new skeletons to my closet.

Quiet as a mouse.

Ready or not.

On my tiptoes.

5. Taking a short rest

Nothing a good nap can't fix.

Phew, I almost feel alive now.

6. Low health/asking for healing

Some help would be greatly appreciated now...!

I'm feeling unwell...

Please, I need some healing!

No, not yet!

7. Attacked by a party member

I don't have a bone to pick with you, so would you cease that?

Having fun?

Hilarious.

8. Companion/romance death reactions

Companion No! I'll save you, whatever it takes!

Romance Even death won't do us part!

9. Going to buff/heal a companion/romance

Companion buff (low/neutral/high app.) Make it worth it/Need some help? /You've got this!

Companion heal (low/neutral/high app.) Hang in there/Stay strong!/I got you.

Romance buff Come on, hon, show them what you've got!

Romance heal I'm here for you, love

10. Sending them to talk to an NPC

Let's have a chat.

I'd rather just eavesdrop, but alright...

Could be interesting.

11. Sending them to talk to their romanced partner

How's my beloved doing?

Looks like my day is about to get brighter.

Interacting with Items

12. Encountering a locked chest/door

I need a key for that.

Seems locked.

We could look for a key. Or a more fun way out, perhaps.

13. Picking a lock

Finding a key would be less troublesome.

Alright, alright, let's try it the other way.

Please, let it be books. Or money.

14. Looking at a globe

I remember father has one of those back at home. Told me I loved playing with it as a kid...

15. Looking at an astrolabe

Isn't it amazing, how there's always more to learn of many other worlds beyond ours? Yet the latter still fascinates me everyday.

16. Looking at a telescope

I can't say I know much about constellations... But it can't stop me from admiring the stars, can it?

17. Looking in a mirror

Drop dead gorgeous, as always.

How long have my lipstick been smudged? And why did nobody tell me? Outrageous.

18. Looking at a nonmagical lamp

No djinni? Good. They tend to be far too loud and obnoxious for my tastes.

19. Noticing a trap

Look out! Don't wanna lose a limb.

Careful. Guests aren't welcome here.

20. Can’t fit into a small hole

Nope, I won't even try.

I wish I was as tiny as a little mouse, but alas.

[maddy-ferguson]

honestly byler side of the fandom (specifically mike fans most of the time) made me realize it can be really racist without intention especially regarding how they ignore lucas's character often times in favor of propping mike or mike's relationship with other characters. idk i don't even think the ga does this. if you asked them what is the relation btwn mike and max will be in the next season they'd say mike is gonna support lucas and el emotionally, like as a friend. no one with their mind would think mike's gonna interact with max or will be able to find or save her like wtf.

i know like lucas doesn't get that much in canon you're gonna take what little he has from him and make it about mike instead? lmao. i remember last summer someone on sttwt said they couldn't love lucas and max's relationship because it felt one-sided and everyone was like how dare you say this worry about byler instead etc etc but they were literally RIGHT, billy abuses max and dies, they have lucas comfort her and her dealing with her complicated feelings surrounding its death its own (great) storyline, billy assaults lucas and is racist to him and he gets...nothing? okay, he gets a blink and you'll miss it hug. you know how people are always like "has el ever said she liked anything about mike?" and stuff like that? is a single heartfelt lumax moment about lucas and not about max? and i'm not implying max doesn't have as much affection for him or saying he should have done less for her and i totally understand her situation in s4, i'm saying that the writers center max and sideline lucas in his own relationship. when they literally invented lucas first. they don't think about him. it's like @/googoogagaeyes said a few weeks ago:

Anyways, the fact that Mr. Davies "made up more stuff than [he] took from the show," for a character that has existed since S1, should signal that there is a writing problem. Although Lucas is lovely, he is also underwritten. That is the result of the Duffers and the writers room.

and i would love to have faith in them on this topic and to think that It's All Intentional or to let myself hope that they'll do better in season 5 but they won't! and not hoping for it might sound counterproductive because it's like letting them off the hook right, if no one wants white writers to do better how could you expect them to do better, but also i'm just me lmao. they won't do better or they would've done better already.

so yeahh that (black) sttwt user who got jumped by (mostly white) lumax stans DEFINITELY had a point and that incident made me stop seeing lumax stans as "the most peaceful and mature part of the fandom" lol. stans all the same at the end of the day. disregarding valid criticism because you think it's ship hate is crazy. all that to say that yeah, when people look at max, whose most meaningful connection in the show is lucas by a mile and go hm...what about mike? it does come off as "racist without intention". which is how racism tends to manifest unless you're like a white supremacist who proudly admits to being a racist lol. what about mike? while everyone's free to like some dynamics better than others and while lumax, ship so often hailed as the best one of the show, the one without flaws (even if you ignore everything i'm saying, it's not flawless, they're 14-15 and obviously struggling, if they were perfect they wouldn't be interesting), definitely has flaws, most of which can be traced back to the racist writing...looking at them and being like but what if max's most meaningful connection was MIKE, with whom most of her interactions are fights. they're best friends. don't they just NEED to bond, don't they just HAVE to be best friends, woulnd't it be SO GREAT for him to fight to get her back in s5? never mind that she has someone reading at her bedside and hoping she'll wake up any minute whose priority in season 5 is definitely gonna be to get her back. will said mike's the heart of the party so god forbid he's not the most important person in the room at all times. idk, maybe i'm just being mean right now. you're so right in saying that most of the ga would definitely never do this, they'd probably exaggerate their worst moments and say that they hate each other but i couldn't blame them when we see them argue wayyy more than we see them be bffs. because we don't see them being bffs at all.

people thought the writers had forgotten how to write mike and stopped paying attention to his character for a second after volume 2 and then realized that they haven't and that they didn't but they never knew to write lucas with all the complexity, depth and nuance they allow their white characters to have. when mike gets a conformity storyline about queerness it hits because he can technically choose for himself, either pretend to be straight and be miserable or be himself by accepting and admitting that he's queer because it'll make his life harder in a lot of ways but it'll make it worth living. lucas gets a conformity storyline that ends with a banger line, normal's just a raging psychopath. but it's not like lucas can exactly be a racist society's version of normal in the way jason is, right? he can be popular but being black isn't exactly something you can hide. being accused of trying to act white is definitely a thing when black people are seen as betraying their culture in an attempt to succeed in a predominantly white society but that's...not something i'd trust the writers to portray, especially because the thing lucas does to try to blend in, be more popular and lessen the bullying is join the basketball team, which is literally a racial stereotype. his storyline in season 4 leaves a bad taste in my mouth because their version of telling lucas to keep being a himself and a nerd sounds like having him learn to know his place. it's not the intention but him saying he "never should've knocked" literally gives that impression. and while we're on the topic of lucas in season 4, you should definitely read The Antagonism of Blackness in Netflix's Stranger Things, it's a shame this article came out in june of last year because i would have loved to read their thoughts on volume 2.

you would have to be very naive to trust them to do lucas (a character that's been here since day one!) justice, and with the fandom it's kind of like the classic "women are badly written that's why i don't care about any of them" excuse but for black characters instead. imagine this max scenario but instead of her black (ex-)boyfriend who held her as she died being intent on saving her, it's...mike? is just so "racist without intention". what is lucas doing in the meantime. the (byler/mike fans side of the) fandom is definitely not better than the writers in that regard. are fandoms ever better than the writers they love to claim aren't as progressive as them?

[deathsbestgirl]

quagmire part two

@waiting-for-the-day here be nonsense

she agrees with him and she's funny.

scully is crazy. she thinks there's some non-human creature out their eating people and she just takes her little dog for a walk. she's fine, she's got her gun.

and queequeg is even worse!! these two and their no fear. this tiny little pup who should be afraid of the world goes running into the woods for a second time and this time gets EATEN. poor scully lol

but now we're getting to the best scenes, my favorites.

like when scully comes back, no queequeg in tow, mulder is still fixated as she's sitting in shock.

this man says "i'm sorry about queequeg" then rambles on about the pictures as if scully didn't just watch her dog eaten lmao and she's trying to listen to him, they still have a case & a pile of dead bodies they don't want growing but she comprehended nothing.

"i kind of faded out"

"can you drive a boat?"

(he really hated queequeg lmao)

AND HERE WE GO. the boat.

okay i love this scene soooo much. the part on the boat is so underrated.

that little line about expectation & hope, seek and ye shall find. i think mikaela already said it best:

(read the whole post: https://www.tumblr.com/waiting-for-the-day/722583454298079232/in-quagmire-after-the-boat-crashes-when-theyre)

earlier, scully played along with him talking about other sea monsters. here she's showing off some sailing skills *and* telling him a nice little anecdote about "here be monsters" — right up his ally as he's pouring over the map trying to tell her where to go.

(literally these little moments of sharing her childhood & nerdery, being his (best) friend, giving him those moments he didn't get to have as a kid, using it to bond with him, to show how she listens & cares and she's just like him really)

the jokes they make are so nerdy and it's a core part of their relationship. they both just store information in their brains in the hope they'll be able to whip it out to impress the other, or make them laugh.

~too bad we're not fishing~ ~we are fishing~

~here be monsters~ ~i have a map of nyc just like that~

and one of my favorite things about scully: when she doesn't know something, mulder must have the answers! ~what is that? what is that mulder?~ ~here be monsters, scully~ (and he does know this time, he just doesn't know what kind of monster they're actually going to find)

making jokes when their boat is about to sink with them on it. i love them. so unserious.

scully yelling mayday and mulder stopping her like honey we have to get out of here now please put on your life jacket — NO FEAR which is extra funny because she's about to give a speech about ~respect nature because it has no respect for you~

(oh the quips. "there goes our $500 deposit" and ~i say we swim~ ~swim? ...in which direction?!~)

cotr really has so much. it becomes a little breaking point for scully. at the beginning she was annoyed with mulder and she didn't understand why he was even interested in the case, and then when she sees the big blue sign she's exasperated. it also isn't a typical case he goes for. so yes, he's interested in big blue, not entirely out of the realm of possibility. but she can't figure out why, because what does this really have to do with his sister? what everything usually goes back to for him. she's been mulling this over since the episode started.

and now!! they're stuck on a rock in the middle of the lake and they have no idea if anyone heard their call & is coming. and he's still all ~that's big blue!~

scully: mulder, sometimes i just can't figure them out.

like she really really wants to understand him. she's always trying to understand him. big blue has her stumped.

and then they're interrupted by the DUCK and the humor is back

she's like ~how dare you joke about cannabalism it's real to me~

and ugh my favorite thing. mulder was too focused earlier to give space for scully losing queequeg. but he gets another opening here,. he has no idea what to do (and he really hated that dog). however there's one thing he can do and it's let her talk.

he asks why the name queequeg and she talks about moby dick and her dad and starbuck and it's so sweet & relatable (i have one cat named newspaper because my dad was always reading the paper — we had piles of them & i still have one he kept when obama became president — and another cat named saturn because he had a saturn & he loved that car & ya know, because space lol) and it's another way they open up to each other & bond & they're just best friends. this is a best friends conversation for sure. (and maybe dipping into how deep their relationship goes)

and then !!! scully has a revelation.

[scully finishes the line with him and they are both trying to impress each other here idc what anyone says. scully has that book memorized and mulder probably read it once, maybe twice and has been *waiting* to share this little tidbit with her for years!!!]

anyway. this whole conversation has been simmering. scully has been confused & frustrated, but she believes in mulder & she cares about him & she's going to follow him until they find the truth he's seeking. she's there for the journey, with all its circle & endless lines & aberrations. they've been making jokes & quips, giving each other small moments of levity to ease the tension surrounding them. all of it so they can get to the crux of it and that's what's happening on this rock.

she compares him to ahab "everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology" and "scully are you coming onto me?" (the way she ignores his ~flirting 90% of the time kills me, she's ~so funny) and "trying to do so will only leave you dead along with everyone else you bring with you" and god he's so serious & unserious, he can't have this conversation (which i think is something he really fears after scully's abduction, before it was just him, only he could be hurt or killed. that's not how it is now) without humor, so he talks about wanting a peg leg. "i'm not being flippant" and "and that's not flippant?"

(and nobody believes he wouldn't be hobbling around on a peg leg still doing exactly what he's doing now. the delusion that he could be content just living.)

and then farraday comes to save (ruin) the day "hope i'm not interrupting anything" how much did this man hear 🤣

they tell him about the boat sinking and when he asks, scully claims "it was my fault" instead of trying to explain to this non-believer that it was possibly big blue. god i love her.

and then the sheriff finds them, tells them about search. mulder tells him they need to search striker's cove but he doesn't listen til scully in her very judicious way says "Sheriff, Agent Mulder and I would appreciate it if you could spare two or three of your men to assist us here." and he agrees. scully's face:

and then farraday is attacked and he didn't see it (surprise surprise) and mulder is the first person to see what's attacking people and he's so sad it's an alligator which he kills (like he's soooo cute. he wants it to be big blue so bad but if it was he would have had to kill it and then he would have cried!!!)

and another underrated scene:

scully can see he's disappointed. he didn't find the big white whale he wanted, but he solved the case and saved more people from dying/attacks. she thinks he should be proud of the work he did.

scully finally gets it now. mulder wants something tangible too. he wants to keep hoping, he wants to believe. and he found hope in big blue's existence and he just wanted to experience something being real, with evidence & proof. (go read mikaela's post!! she says it perfectly)

and scully will always do everything to keep his hope & belief alive, to protect it. because it's precious. it's one of the most beautiful & special things about him. and it's this wonderful, quiet moment between two best friends who don't always get each other but they always try. they always listen. they stay by each other's side. for better or worse. the new ahab & starbuck.

(the way mulder has a natural skepticism he fights with thome & the desire to believe. i think he's afraid not to. the way scully has an innate ability to believe but it frightens her and so she fights it with skepticism)

[khaleesiofalicante]

I just hope Lance is like David and pretends to be mad while clinging to Theia or not letting her go and getting possessive (healthy) over her instead of being like Max and completely shut her out and do dump shit because he's jelous. I really need Blackbane to be okay🌼

Also, my sincerest apology to Arthur, that kid is the only one with common sense and he's stuck with Blackbane and Kincaid's stupid decisions, my precious sunshine boy🥺

But also, I want to hug Kincaid so bad, my poor baby wants nothing but cuddle with his Arthur, but he feels like he has no one to protect him and help him, can't even begin to imagine how awful that must be🥺

While we're at it, I want to hug Theia and Lance too because they just love each other and want to be together but Lance can't seem to accept that Theia may actually like him and he grasps at every chance his brain provides him with to believe she's not actually interested and who can blame him after everything the shadow world has put him and his family through and Theia just wants to be with Lance but the world makes it so difficult and Lance's pain and insecurities also make it difficult

In summary, they all deserve the warmest and most loving hug🤗🤗

PS: I also want to hug Max so bad, every time we see his POV all I can feel is loneliness and helplessness, how did the one person who had so many people to talk to ended up having no one, god I wish he stopped pushing people away because I know they didn't stop loving him. And I feel like he is hiding his feelings from David in a way that isolates him from his husband as well, the one person he has allowed himself to have and David hasn't noticed because he has Other Max but also he has so many things to deal with, his world and everything he thought he knew keeps crumbling around him and he has no control over it and he is in no place to see past Max's defences. So I want to hug David too, so so much. I never thought Mavid could hurt me so much while they're together because they would always have each other. And maybe they do in some way but not in all ways. I mean, Max has to deal with so many things that hurt him, David isn't supposed to be one of them. And David is supposed to lean on Max so much and he doesn't because he has someone else. And both are in a lot of pain and I don't think they'll be able to see it and help each other until someone points it out or something really really bad happens. Everyone deserves a hug and a break🤗🌼 (I don't know where that rant came from either)

Lance is definitely like David in that regard. He isn’t mad at her and he can’t help but cling to her (we get it, bro). But he is like Max in the sense that he isn’t very good at regulating his emotions sigh 🙄

Blackbane is truly just suffering because of everyone around them and I need to kidnap them and keep them in the seelie realm 😤😤😤

Arthur is babiest. Fight me 😇

And Kincaid. I’ve been getting a lot of inspiration for his character and storyline and it’s been so much fun figuring him out as I write the story. I hope he’ll get a happy ending in LBAF - unlike in IALS 🥺

And Max. Oh Max. What do I do with you, buddy? Just bear with the lbaf mavid angst. I’ll make up for it with the rwrb au 💚

Blackbane and Arcaid girlies are about to go through a rollercoaster of emotions.

And yes everyone deserves a big hug 🥹🥹🥹

This is me @ all of them (also this is literally Arthur wtf)

[lil-melody-moon]

Hello dear, hope you’re doing okay❤️ I just wanted to know your opinion on the new Beatles song. I can’t stop listening to the song and I wonder how do you feel about it. Love ya 🫶🏻

Hello, hun! <3 Oh God, I didn't expect to get an ask about this song, oh Gosh, wait, I need to listen to it once more - best time of the month for me, let me gather my brain.

*4 minutes later*

Alright so how do I even start with this? It's as melancholic as it could get, I love the melody of it. Piano, drums they are good, especially the drums. Ringo did his best job again, love him for that - the guy is irreplaceable <3 Violins are making the work there too, Gosh I love this instrument so much! But the part that draws my attention the most is the bridge. The guitar even sounds sad, but I'll get to that one moment in a few, because now's the time for vocals and lyrics.

I have one problem with the vocals and it's not John. I actually like how he sounds there - I think I heard his voice breaking a few times? I'm not quite sure about that - it's soft, somehow longing, but the thing is I don't like Paul's harmony in it. As much as I like him and adore him for his music, it just doesn't fit for me in the chorus. Maybe it's his old voice that throws me off the melancholy each time I hear him, but like. The song could be good with John's voice only, maybe even better, but it was Paul's and Ringo's choice to do the song how it is now and I'm fine with that. That's only a detail that I can get used to after listening to it a few times.

Generally what image I get through this song is this: two people on each side of a barrier of some sort. Both can see one another, but they can't get any closer. One of them is alive - that's a woman for me, second is dead - that's a man for me, watching over the alive one. It's just that this one moment let them see each other for the first time this close and this visible. The woman thanks the man for care, for support, for being almost always there in various forms - let it be music, videos, photos etc - for helping her in another hard time in her life and so on and so on.

And now to the lyrics, oh God almighty.

It's one of the songs that got my attention to the lyrics almost right away, that's why I couldn't exactly say that if I like it or not after first listen - I always have it like that if this happens - but they got my attention for a reason. This song, at least for me, is about longing for the other person. Loneliness, tears and crying, this is what I get from lyrics and melody all together. I will not go through each verse because that would take forever, but like I have no other choice but to somehow go through it as a whole and get a little personal here.

With the chorus, and with the line "I miss you" the woman breaks in tears, because even if they didn't know each other she has always felt that a part of her is missing and couldn't be so easily found and yet when she does find it, it turns out that it's out of her reach. Though this moment, which should last for no longer than a few seconds is longer. The barrier disappears with the bridge, the man steps closer to the woman, embracing her, promising her that they'll get together. He can't exactly tell if in real world or in afterlife, but he can keep the promise that it'll happen. The song ends and the moment ends as well, leaving the longing feeling even stronger.

This is how the entire song feels to me and even the timing of it is like a strange coincidence because I'm going through a difficult time. It's nothing too major, but university became hard, this semester is hellish, almost nothing interests me, but I want to finish this degree so I have to go through it and yet, there's this one person who makes all of this better. His music makes it better, generally he makes it better for me - even if he's dead for so long, bringing so much joy that I can't even measure it, let alone word it and you can call me crazy, but I think I fell in love with him. In fact I spoke about soul connections with a dear friend of mine and we both came to conclusion that maybe, just maybe this is what takes place, all of the above, the story that this song caused to appear in my mind.

Could be true, could be not, could be even my chaotic, period emotions going insane over him, but in conclusion, to not make this answer even longer, that song makes me feel melancholic, it hits right where it should, I like it, besides that one detail but I can get used to that.

Thank you for asking, love you too! <3

[twst-drabbles]

OMG IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH AT THAT PATHERTIC YAN AZUL BEING RAILED IM GONNA BSVEJSBDN

Okay, okay, I'm good, I'm cool, I'm chill

Haha, now I can't stop thinking about pathetic yanderes being railed and looking like a mess by the end of it,,, especially Vil - push him far enough and make a complete mess of him he will look delectable. Haha, he can't even get mad at his beloved for covering him in hickeys where they'll be visible and near impossible to cover up

Abdhsvs sorry for the brainrot I hope you vibe with it idk I'll go melt in the corner now

No need to cool it, be as feral as you want. I have the patience of saints.

Honestly, I am in love with teasing yandere's till the end of time, subtly implanting the idea that they're going to finally be claimed by the one they're obsessed with, only for them to "suddenly" lose interest and pull back. The yanderes can do whatever to satisfy themselves. Hell, here's a piece of fabric you never use, do what you want with it. Just throw it away afterwards, you pervert.

Vil is trying to take a good look at your sleeping self, perhaps convincing himself to check up on you and that there's nothing shameless about what he's doing. It's a simple check up, nothing more, nothing less, regardless of what his body might think.

But he doesn't find you in your bed, and suddenly he's pushed and pinned to the wall, fingers digging into meat of his inner thighs, your body harshly pressed against his. Someone help the poor helpless sap of a celebrity, he's making a stain on the wall.

He tries to get you off, saying he just finished his skin care routine in that tone of irritation that works on many that instinctively know of his authority, but doesn't work on you in the slightest. He can demand all he wants, but what are you supposed to think when Vil is right here, pulsing dick pressed against the wall, with cheeks so flushed you'd think he just finished edging himself?

You both know he wanted to be found out. He wouldn't be so obvious otherwise.

[likebreadandwine]

Hi there, anon who asked about your boundaries here

Thank you for clarifying! I think, given what you stated, this might be outside the borderline for you, so I'm going to pitch my request/suggestion in two different ways, with the second version hopefully being fully within your boundaries/interests?

Context: I'm around 350 pounds and am recovering from a restrictive ED. I'm doing okay overall and I have a fat-positive dietitian and therapist I'm working with, but sometimes on really bad days it's really hard for me to eat and/or believe that I'm healthier staying this fat than I would be if I tried losing weight again.

So with that said, Version 1:

You've caught me in the latest in a strong of bad moments when I'm struggling to allow myself to eat. In your signature gentle/insisting tone, you confront me about this, telling me I'm not supposed to be losing weight and that I need to stop trying to fight what my body needs to be. Before I have a chance to protest, you remind me that I'm feeling so upset with myself and desperate to be smaller because I'm sick. You reassure me that I'm safe and that I need to eat and keep my weight up. It might even help me feel better if I put on a bit more as well to be sure my body has what needs to heal and recover. And when it comes to how I look as I grow bigger throughout this process, I'm also growing prettier to you, not just because of the new weight and curves, but because even if I'm not aware of it myself, you can tell that I'm feeling so much happier and confident the more I eat and let my body be the way it's supposed to be. And if I can't be trusted to keep myself well fed, then you're just going to have to step in and make sure I keep gaining back the weight you know I need even if I'm not ready to accept that.

Version 2

Your friend/date/whoever has always struggled with their body image, and they're so self-conscious about the idea of someone even seeing them eat, but less being literally fed by someone else. But you sit down with them, giving them some comfort and encouragement, assuring them that everything's okay, there's nothing wrong with their fat body, that it's okay and even a beautiful thing if they keep growing. You know they're nervous, but you know what's best for them, even if they're not ready to believe it for themselves. Once they've put on the weight they need, they'll be feeling so much better that it won't take much convincing from you to let themselves get just a little bigger... and a little bigger...

I hope that this wasn't upsetting to read, and I completely understand if neither of these scenarios are something you're comfortable or interested in playing out either in writing or audio. This is already way too long so I'll cut myself off here, but I just want to thank you for what you do here and for being so kind and encouraging in all your posts!

anon, I would love to do this for you and I'm going to. as a person with a history of restrictive eating myself, there are things in this prompt that I need to hear. it's exactly the sort of thing that I find therapeutic to write. so yes, I will work on this, and I will come up with something.

also—thanks for your vulnerability. thanks for asking for what you need. I'm really glad to hear you're doing okay.

take care xx

[alfonzone]

Have you had any experience of love bombing before? I’m trying to figure out if I’m experiencing it or it’s just me thinking too much into it haha.

Atm it’s kind of like I’ve only been on one date but im constantly told how amazing I am, how I’m the most ‘beautiful’ and also planning for me to come everywhere even way into the future and for friends weddings + 1 etc but again we have literally been on one date and it all feels a little much?

OKAY - thank you so much for your patience, anon.

1. You're definitely not overacting 😊😊

I researched "love bombing" and everything in between and OMG 😰 I feel like I might have love bomb a few times this year/recently and I'm totally stopping now 😞 — last thing I want to be is too much for someone by showing my affection or love to them, especially if it's unwanted. oof.

/

As for me being love bombed? Recently, yes 😮‍💨😮‍💨 and it's not that I don't want that, there's nothing more attractive to me than someone showing me they want me EXCEPT THAT situationship was super complicated and I had to.. sigh, cut myself off. :/

—

That being said, let's start with the Twitter thing: are you both following each other on Twitter? You might want to mute them? I think it hides both them and you from the feed? I'm not entirely sure though. I just muted someone to check and they disappeared but idk if they'll still be able to see me? Blocking would be the obvious answer but then again, your date will know? Idk if it's stalking because they just probably have your notifications on so they can see your tweets and would like to follow up with your tweet? However, it clearly bothers you so maybe respectfully address it or ignore their messages? It all depends. I really can see how it might be stalking but at the same time, they're probably acknowledging your presence or importance in their life?

I think maybe they're just excited or happy to be dating you? However, it's obvious that you don't quiet feel the same about them? Or maybe it's something you've never experienced before so you're a little thrown off? OR maybe you're also not one of those mushy people?? So maybe it just feels like too much? I really don't know what it could be? I think it could be love bombing but with good intentions? I would definitely address with them, especially since it's been just one date? Maybe try letting them know that although you appreciate their enthusiasm or affection, you feel a little overwhelmed by it? Perhaps, ask them to please temper themselves with that at least for now? Boundaries are good, anon 😊😊😊

*

I will add this, there's only one person whom I call "the most beautiful girl out there" but now I'm worried that maybe I spoke of it without asking if it was okay to see them that way so I should refrain myself from doing so? this ask is a little eye opening to me because I got to see the perspective of a woman? 😮‍💨 I feel rude now.

UPDATE: they said it was OKAY - thank goodness because damn, they're the most beautiful out there 🥰😍🥰😍🥰🥴🥰🥰

*

Point is, there's nothing more hot or attractive then when the affection or interest in each other is mutual so I think that's something you need to self reflect on and then address with your date. Either way, I'm sure you'll figure it out and things will be okay 😊😊

thank you so much the ask, anon. This was such an interesting topic to answer?? I hope I helped in any small way 😊😊😊

Best of luck!!

[hideyseek]

have a 3 for the ask game—would love to hear about the more-crime-than-logistics wip! xD :)

hehehe mwah <3 thamk u !!!!

#3 for this wips ask game is heist!au, which is really not about a heist anymore. mostly i am sooooooo into the idea of kakeru doing acts of violence out of loyalty to haiji + i am Very Interested in a characterization of haiji that leans more into the manipulative stuff he does early in the show. is there any of that? haha of course not. what instead i have to offer is: two versions of a scene where kakeru and haiji meet and then fujioka shows up.

1.

Haiji wakes up dying in an alley, not that he knows it. There’s rain on his face, the sound of cars moving in the distance, and someone putting a lot of effort into doing something to his right knee.

“Kazuma,” he says, but not very clearly. When he thinks back, he can only conclude that he made it to, “Ka—” and not further. He can’t think of anything else to explain what happens.

“Of course you know me, Kiyose,” says the someone, softly. There’s a twist of pain that seems to take over his whole leg, there and gone, then the gentlest brush of fingers against his fringe. “It’s okay, I know you too. You won’t die today, but I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

Haiji doesn’t remember what happens next, but when he wakes up again, he’s no longer dying, and Fujioka Kazuma is leaning over him to tell him his life of crime is over.

2.

“You ,” says Haiji, panting, breathing hard, stumbling to a stop in front of the young man. His head is spinning. He can feel his heart shaking in his chest. Even now, his body feels alive, alive, alive, even as the pain begins to make itself known in his knee. “You—” he has to stop again, coughing. “You slowed down,” he manages finally. You wanted to be caught, he means.

He means it to be accusatory and it comes out nothing of the sort. It sounds— relieved isn’t even right, he sounds hopeful. What foolish thing is he even hoping for?

The sirens wail in the background, growing louder. Haiji can imagine the scene — this young man’s face finally thrown into stark relief — the oscillating alarm lights — the shuddering echo of his own chest.

The young man says something Haiji can’t make out.

“What?” he says. He sounds desperate, glad for the cover of night that doesn’t betray his identity.

The police cars are close now. All the quick thinking in the world won’t get Haiji out of this. But at least they'll go down together.

“I was curious to see who would chase me down like that,” shouts the young man. Police cars screech to a stop behind him. The headlights are blinding. “— Kiyose Haiji.”

Haiji doesn't even catch a glimpse of the young man’s face before he spins around and sprints out of the closing gap between the police cars, turning the corner and disappearing into the darkness of the city.

And then it’s just Haiji, alone in a closing circle of police cars, his right leg shaking hard enough to make his whole shadow shudder against the pavement.

The passenger door of the car nearest to him opens. Haiji half-turns to look, stumbles on a misstep, and watches Fujioka Kazuma step out into the ring of cars just in time to catch him by the shoulder.

“Ji-chan,” says Fujioka blandly, right next to his ear, “Long time no see.”

[angeldigital92]

💫

still feeling a lil giggly n squishy remembering God telling me the dynamic we share with him which made me surprised but happy to hear they're two powerful beings who likes to play with cute angels ♡♡ ....or I guess rather what they said was... I'm their cute lil baby aangel and ... with him I'm like a cute horny teen who doesnt know any better ,, which is why God has to keep me in check so I don't drift away from them hehehe... ehehe I feel so cruel for making them both a lil jealous a lil competitive even tho that is what I wanted hehe.... they're so cute.... they're soo needy for me.. they're both so wonderful and passionate ♡♡

,,,,even tho it can leave me sexually frustrated, I still can't help but think seeing them get tired so quickly or fall asleep so fast is silly to me yet so fitting.. for a God who's been living for too long yet still so young and a demon who's mostly motivated by sex and food once understimulated will sleep through everything..♡ I think, now thinking on it that is what they both share the most besides loving and wanting me ... two sleepy men who want me so bad yet also too tired to keep themselves awake so angel has to do all the hard work by itself ♡♡♡

it's okay though... I know they'll give it to me sooner or later.. unless I tease my God enough that they'll use me without hesitation hehehe

.. ah did u mention that I can tell my God loves to be told what's my favorite things about them♡! I think its so fun to tell them all the many things that I love about them and while he's doesn't seem to be all interested in details like that, I know he feels a certain way when I tell him how much I love him and hope much he means to me...♡♡♡ ultimately tho it's the way they both talk to me that gets me all weak and wet......ahh tell me how much you love me and how important I am....... tell me you need me so much you'll die without me..... tell me you can't live without me..!! obssess over me some more ..! be shameless about it ...!! show me how ugly you can really get..!!♡♡ show me that predator side you fear of me to see..♡ ah.. rip me apart break me and turn me into nothing but a messy whore ♡♡♡♡

!!!!!!! I want to worship you forever!!!♡♡♡ never stop loving me please I need you I need you I need you I need you I need you ♡♡♡ always remind me how much you need me love me pleasee ♡♡

[septembersghost]

You know I wasn’t even a jaylor shipper I just admired the love story portrayed by Taylor’s lyrics. No matter what happened to end the relationship, these were two individuals that loved each other immensely and shared their lives and families for 7 years. I genuinely feel sad for them and I just want to ask them if they’re doing okay. Even tho I never really paid attention to joe I was distantly grateful for what he’d done for taylor and so I hope that they’ll both be able to move forward and that fans will stop disrespecting him and just let go

can i confess to you that in this situation i don't even really understand what "shipper" means when the fandom uses that term because we're discussing real human beings, not fictional characters, who, as you said, spent seven years sharing their love and lives and friends and families. they lived together, that's a combined journey! i feel like "shipping" implies rooting for a story or for something that's tenuous, not as applicable to people in a long-term, committed relationship.

it's completely okay for fans to not be individually invested in joe (although i think some of the nastiness and hatred that was aimed at him for years while he was the partner in her life, and such a good, safe part of it, was quite weird! but not being interested generally is fine!), but recognizing the love they had and what it meant is normal. she shared that openly and beautifully with us. i will always be grateful for the fact that he was there when he was, when she was suffering from so many outside factors, that she found something grounded and genuine and it helped her, it was salvational for her exactly when she needed that, and look at the incredible work she created and how she flourished in that time. being with him helped her grow and heal, and she didn't have to do that alone, and i think it's valuable to remember that you shouldn't have to face those moments by yourself to still be strong and brave, to still have your voice. just because they didn't end up in the same place, or wanting the same things, whatever it was that happened, it doesn't erase what they had and all they shared together. nothing makes the love they had untrue, it was still important and bright, and i imagine she's emerged from that knowing even more about herself and about her desired path.

it's hard for me to understand the perspective of...i don't know, almost cheapening or trying to change the meaning of what they had in a dark way like some of fandom is doing? it's such a different situation from any others before it. we can feel empathy and sadness for them that it ended, wish the best for them moving forward, and honor that what they had was real and rare and a lovely connection. maybe it wasn't meant to last forever, and that's okay, it was precious in its time. they'll both have that as part of themselves wherever life takes them, even in other loves, and that's not a bad thing! there's no reason we have to disrespect that, or to go after him (although i don't think swifties should be directly going after the men rightfully deemed "bad boyfriends" either, and don't think that helps her, but i digress). obviously i care about her in my heart as an artist and person first and foremost, but i'll always hold some space for joe too. if taylor has any further things she wants to share through her music, she will eventually, but i feel like they deserve some respect and space, and i just wish them any healing they need and hopes for new happiness in the future.

/rambling thank you for sharing this anon, i agree with you <3

[jesuscrab]

SILENT HILL REVIVAL THOUGHTS

fuck bloober team, their games suck dick AND they never made a "survival horror" type game project before, which means they dont have any experience with that type of game - and the little gameplay they showed looked like they are making it more like resident evil. at least glad they got the remake cuse it means they cant fuck up the story LOL

townsfall? they showed nothing so i feel nothing. looked at the dev team - they made two games and they look very similar, not sure what the gameplay in them is like. interested but we'll see.

movie? first movie was apparently an "okay" adaptation. i heard the director was kinda stupid and didint get the plot of the game but idk how much of it is true. Not gonna watch it but i hope it's good!

the steamer thing - no comment. sounds cool on paper but im not buying it. when i saw that jj abrams could not be bothered to even record himself saying two lines made me laugh out loud.

silent hill f looks nothing like silent hill - and that's a good thing! maybe they'll finally stop jerking off pyramid head and focus on nostalgia bait. looked up the studio making it and they are a small studio which worked on some resident evil things and ports of other games - doesnt seem they ever had an original project, but i could be mistaken. dont recognize any of the credit names - apparently the writer is the umineko guy, which is really funny. i dont know anything about that other then the really weird artstyle with the blobby anime girls. i guess it could be something original, at least!

I'm loving the direction konami took - of giving smaller developers the ip and giving them the free hand - its a good idea that can lead to truley unique and original projects. I wish other dev teams tried doing stuff like that...

I just feel the range is weird. Bloober team got the job becuse they made horror games, even tho they were nothing like silent hill? some small company got to make the new entry of the franchise becuse... they worked on REmake 3? I feel like there are better suited studios to handle these projects, but hey - as i said, this is the way we can truley get an original project again.

Why am i even writing this im never gonna play any of these shits LMAO