#and then forgot about every single musical I'd ever listened to ever

[junko-jinko]

Hi!! If you don't mind me asking, what's your favorite commission song and cover song from each prsk group?

oh shit let me dig up the list of commissioned songs

I'm gonna answer mostly based on the songs that are available on EN because I'm not up to date with what songs are on JP. Also this response ended up being pretty long and detailed, hope you don't mind! (putting it under cut for that reason. it is a seriously long answer because I have Thoughts)

Commission songs

Leo/need: Flyaway or Teratera orrrr Voices. These are actually the only l/n comms I even really like. Voices only started to grow on me after hearing the Luka and Shiho cover of it. Writing this answer made me go check out the full version of Teratera for the first time and they really left the best parts out of the game huh. So maybe if I have to pick one it's Teratera.

More More Jump!: Parasol Cider 100000000%! what a banger honestly. Had that stuck in my head for hours on end during the event and did not mind it one bit

Vivid BAD SQUAD: Maybe Ready Steady? I'm a Giga enjoyer and the VBS covers have been pretty nice Hitsuji ga Ippiki is a close second though! If I was including the JP songs then Beyond the Way I forgot about Moodlight. Moonlight is my favourite, the melancholic vibes will always be number one for me (this is in no way foreshadowing for the rest of this list, no way)

Wonderland x Showtime: I am in hell, truly, trying to pick just one and not every single one. Back when I started playing proseka for the first time I really adored Tondemo Wonders and it's still one of my favourites out of all proseka songs along with Potatoes but. This one is definitely between Mr Showtime and Donna Ketsumatsu. The angst of both of these songs, the melancholy!! I think it's gotta be Mr. Showtime though, I prefer the style of music of that song over Donna Ketsumatsu.

25-ji, Nightcord de: Since Kitty is not yet released on EN, this is easy, it's Samsa. I absolutely lose it whenever that song plays anywhere (my friends can testify to me going nuts at a con when a dance group doing N25 dance covers started playing Samsa). Used to listen to this song daily and I even read Metamorphosis thanks to liking the song so much (knowing the plot adds a lot to the song imo). Honestly love almost all of N25 comms though!

VIRTUAL SINGER: I'm including this here just so I have a reason to put ÅMARA on this list. What a banger. Wish I didn't suck at stair notes so bad because I would be playing this on expert all the time otherwise

...I also now reread the ask and realised that you also asked for cover songs... I think picking those is even more difficult than this and since this post is already super long

Cover songs

Leo/need: Ok so. Lost One's Weeping is probably my first favourite vocaloid song ever and I want to put it as my favourite for that reason alone but. Dramaturgy because I am also a huge fan of Eve due to, you might have guessed, the melacholy vibes. Also the Ichika cover of that is very pretty! Lost and Found is also a top contender, somehow I don't yet hate it due to how much it gets spammed by tierers

More More Jump!: This would maybe be Darling Dance except I don't really like the MMJ cover. Same with Vampire. So the answer is Viva Happy (Mitchie M my beloved. Best at tuning Kaito if you ask me)

Vivid BAD SQUAD: I actually like every single one of the cover songs so far on EN. Maybe Bring It On? unsurprisingly Aun no Beats is a close contender lmao. I really like kagepro songs and I'd like to include them here but they did something to the drums in the proseka versions that I don't vibe with at all.

Wonderland x Showtime: I thought I was in hell before... Nonsense Bungaku comes to mind first along with Goodbye Declaration. Honestly I don't think they have a single bad cover... You know what I'm gonna make an exception and use a song that's not on EN yet, I think my fav cover from wxs is Childish War (though they missed a huge fucking opporturnity by not making it a Ena and Akito cover, seriously). That song is like the second or third vocaloid song I ever liked, so it has a special place in my heart, enough so that I'm planning on doing a pair cosplay of the Kagamine twins in it with a friend (also the og MV art is by Miwashiba!! I love their games and art a lot!) I think it's a superb cover, Tsukasa yelling it is very fitting and all that.

25-ji, Nightcord de: Phony, no questions asked. N25 has a ton of great covers but Phony is just Good.

anyways. those are my favourite songs.

[taylorgrape]

Ryan's Characters as Taylor Swift Songs

I am so sorry. @rumor-weed

AUDREY "RUMOR" WEED AS NEW ROMANTICS "The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true." I'm gonna be so real the above lyric was such a big part of me picking this as a song for her lmao. But also it's just sorta a vibey bop and the general energy of it reminds me so much of Audrey which obviously we love. Other notable lyrics that give me Audrey vibes: "We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing" "It's poker, he can't see it on my face but I'm about to play my ace." "We team up then switch sides like a record changer."

BARTLEBEY THE BUTLER AS TIMELESS "Time breaks down your mind and body, don't you let it touch your soul." Bartlebey is Timeless for two reasons. One, is, of course, the fact that Ryan and I are constantly pushing the narrative of Pincherbey are in love in every single universe and timeline. The other reason is that we don't know if he belongs in this timeline at all or what his like... whole deal is in any regard. And for that reason it is very funny to just say "Bartlebey is Timeless." Other notable lyrics that give me Bartlebey vibes: "And somehow I know that you and I would've found each other." "I thought about it as I started lookin' 'round at these precious things that time forgot." "We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made, and you'll say, 'Oh my, we really were timeless'."

PHIL WINKLESTEIN AS TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR "The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star." King of yearning ofc gets the yearning song of all time. Honestly listening to this song and thinking abt the musical situation with Bob and everything just came together. My mans is so in his feelings and if he has a guitar (which he might I'm not caught up on the Phillip lore) I just know that mf would have teardrops on it. Other notable lyrics that give me Phil vibes: "I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night" "So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light, I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight." "The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart"

PETER PEPPARAZZI AS EYES OPEN "So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard." Ofc Mr. Pepparazzi is the song abt how everyone is watching you. Because my mans is the one watching!! He is the 'everyone' referenced in lyrics below. King of being nosy fr. I really do not have much to say past that bc I love that this is just how he be. Other notable lyrics that give me Peter vibes: "Everybody's waiting for you to break down" "Everybody's watching to see the fallout" "And nobody comes to save you now."

LOVEY ASPARAGUS AS I DID SOMETHING BAD "I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it comin'." Miss I killed my husband is obviously this song are you KIDDINGGG literally I could just list every single lyric in this song and it would be correct. She's a baddie and even tho she did in fact kill her husband she's kind of a feminist icon for that. He deserved it and I'm glad she did it. Other notable lyrics that give me Lovey vibes: "Most fun I ever had and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could." "They never see it coming what I do next." "They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one, so light me up."

NEBBY K NEZZER AS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN "And snakes and stones never broke my bones." hear me out hear mE OUT- my man has dealt with far too much shit he's done his time... and he's surrounded by well... we know them. He's just done and that is DESERVED. Also, of course I am slightly biased but this is such him and his stupid high school glee rival energy. PLUSSS (as listed below) 'shade never made anybody less gay' ARE YOU KIDDDINGGG so nezzer coded (source: bro trust me) Other notable lyrics that give me Nezzer vibes: "And I'm just like 'Damn, it's 7:00 a.m.'" "You need to calm down, you're being too loud." "'cause shade never made anybody less gay."

ART BIGOTTI AS ILLICIT AFFAIRS "Take the words for what they are; a dwindling mercurial high" Okay obviously this is abt Art yearning for a whole ass married man. BUT ALSO the way this song is written just gives me such Art vibes especially with the whole comparing having an affair to drugs thing lmaaao but like when I was picking songs and this came up I KNEW this was downbad king art bigotti. (ps this is currently one of my top taylor songs so this is a great honor" Other notable lyrics that give me Art vibes: "A drug that only worked the first few hundred times." "You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else." "Look at this idiotic fool that you've made me."

LAURA CARROT AS ANTI-HERO "I should not be left to my own devices." Obviously this is Laura lmao she a baddie but she also is a criminal. And does nothing to better herself which honestly good for her bc same. She don't give a fuck and I admire that!! She owns being an anti-hero and she is so real for that. Also just like... the energy of this song truly gives me Laura vibes so there is also that. Other notable lyrics that give me Laura vibes: "One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming." "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." "The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out 'She's laughing up at us from hell.'"

GOLITAH GOTTIK AS MEAN "Well, you can take me down with just one single blow," I am going to be so real like 70% of me picking this song was the above lyric bc that's so god damn funny when u think of the bible story. but also. much like nezzer Goliath has been through too much... (see medical malpractice) but despite that he really do be out here just living his life and simply does not have time for the haters which is why i picked this song. Other notable lyrics that give me Goliath vibes: "Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me" "I just wanna feel okay again" "All you are is mean and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life"

PA GRAPE AS THE BEST DAY "I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong." I'm gonna be so real my main reason for picking this song is bc it's literally written abt Taylor's mom so obviously in my fucked up little delusional mind Taylor Grape wrote it abt Pa Grape. I will not be taking any criticims at this time. That said, these lyrics are more like... how she would feel abt him vs ones that just exude his aura but yolo. Other notable lyrics that give me Taylor/Pa vibes: "I don't know why all the trees change in the fall, but I know you're not scared of anything at all." "Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay, but I know I had the best day with you today." "And I love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine."

SHANNON CEDRIC UNO SCALLION AS THE 1: "And it's another day waking up alone" Okay so OBVIOUSLY this started as a shitpost bc scallion number one is the 1. HOWEVER. upon reflecting on some of these lyrics I was like... damn i might b on to something. they're sort of just like depressing and cryptic enough, especially out of context and that just felt so perfect for mr uno. Other notable lyrics that give me Uno vibes: "And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow" "In my defense, I have none." "If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?" KILT BAGPIPE RHUBARB AS SHAKE IT OFF "I go on too many dates but I can't make them stay, at least that's what people say," Bro I will not fucking lie. As soon as I started this project I KNEW this mf had to be shake it off. A hot fuckin mess, slutting around, everyone finding him slightly offputting, but he is an unkillable yale man so he is fr just gonna shake it off. Also, so far this has easily been the one that I hard the hardest time narrowing it down to just four lyrics bc inside and out this song is Kilt all over lmaaaao (derogatory?) Just know that I decided to not put any lyrics from the chorus bc they all fit too well lmfao. Other notable lyrics that give me Kilt vibes: "But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving." "I never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet." "but I'm just gonna shake to the fella over there with the hella good hair."

TOM GRAPE AS CLOSURE "I'm fine with my spite." okay this song is basically abt someone trying to give closure and this one mf being like nah, i'm good. which to me is so tom. he does NOT need that closure. he's good bein a spiteful little sour grape (which i love for him) but honestly king of not needing the mushy shit. ofc some of this is taken from his relationship with his estranged sister taylor grape but i mean how could i not. Other notable lyrics that give me Tom vibes: "Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled." "I know that it's over, I don't need your closure." "Reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me, but it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary."

EGG BOY AS IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND "'Wanna hang out?' Yeah, sounds like fun." okay so my otp: bathroom eggs ass was ofc fully thinking of that when i chose songs for each of them (see bathroom girls for a similar note) but also this song was specifically Egg Boy to me bc... u know what. he DOES think it's nice to have a friend. he's a silly goofy guy who loves his eggs and this song gives me energy of like childhood nostalgia and that is so him and bathroom girl coded to ME. Other notable lyrics that give me Egg Boy vibes: "School bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow." "Light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew." "You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too."

VICKI CUCUMBER AS BETTER THAN REVENGE "I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey." I MEEEEEEAN was there even really another option!! Miss steal your man had her man STOLE! a sneaky little bitch (affectionate). I truly feel like there is not much else to say bc the energy of this song is just SO vicki to me. Like this BELONGS to her. Much like Kilt it was SO HARD for me to narrow it down to just four lyrics but i hope u enjoy the ones a pick. Other notable lyrics that give me Vicki vibes: "She took him faster than you could say sabotage." "She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it" "You might have him, but I'll always get the last word." SCOOTER CARROT AS THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS "I'm shaking my head, I'm locking the gates" i have to be so fucking honest rn. I picked Scooter for this song bc this song makes me want to go to a boujee ass hollywood party and get into multiple fist fights with multiple a-listers and honestly i think I would like scooter to be there with me when i do it. He's got just the right amount of spite to help me out. not to mention in soc everyone thought he died so he's got some vengeance in him. me and moyer the destroyer kickin leo dicaprio's ass as god intended. Other notable lyrics that give me Scooter vibes: "This is why we can't have nice things, darling, because you break them, I had to take them away." "And so I took an axe to a mended fence." "Here's a toast to my real friends, they don't care about the he said, she said."

[andthatisnotfake]

Yeah I'm brainfoggy I forgot to say it was for the ficwriter asks 😅

I want to ask every single question so maybe pick three of these? 8, 9, 12, 14, 21, 22, 27, 35

Hugs & love 🥰💖💖💖

You know I'm going to answer all of these, right? You know I have to, right?

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

Wille and Mickey come quite naturally to me now.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

Hm, none in particular. There are moments that are difficult to write, but not really characters.

I think Erik is a bit difficult for me to strike the balance between good brother but actual elitist.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

ALL OF THEM? I think mostly I think I dreamed you into life because it's cute. =^_-=

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

Hard to say. Wilmon is my current obsession and DRUK is always so fun to write, but I think fandom-wise it's got to be Gallavich. The support there is unparalleled.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

Gotta be Wilmon, they're such babies!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Nope. If it's song with lyrics it would distract me, and other songs I'd just ignore, so no. I do have playlists or songs that remind of some fics, but that's not the norm. In these cases, I listen to the songs to get into the writing mood, while I imagine how to continue the scene, but then stop the music to actually write.

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I love when people mention a part of the fic that made them cry or laugh (or get horny!).

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I kills me that I can't write faster, because I've never had so many WIPs in my life and I want to post all of them RIGHT NOW, but nothing's finished and it makes me so... gaaaaaaaaaaaah I wish I could just magically make you guys see the scenes that are inside my head.

[what-if-nct]

hi hi hi today's reminder is new wayv music!!! i genuinely completely forgot that it was today and was just so thrilled at the notification. the video was cool, not their best but that standard is insane so I'll forgive it. the song definitely caught me off guard on the first listen. I'm braced for switches like that with 127, but i usually relax into dream and wayv's music so that was a change. but the second listen won me over. I'm a little bummed they added that much english in though, considering that there is a separate english version. like i don't speak any mandarin, but i like the sound of it, so it was a bit disconcerting

but most importantly. my husband. has everyone seen my husband? i need absolutely everyone in the world to stop and admire my husband please and thank you. also winwin!! every single mv he's in, he almost entirely steals it for me, even though he has an average of three seconds of screen time (also glad that's not the case here). what a gorgeous man. tbh all of them are gorgeous i would kill to look like any of them

alsooo my notification shortcut got buried under other notifications and now it's gone I'd love another if it's not too much of a bother please and thank you and i love you

Hii! Yes I was waiting for it and I was also thrown off by it a bit but I love switch ups like that, Xiaojun's I don't know why felt very 90's to me for some reason. But even thought it changed pretty drastically it still blended pretty well and the rappers really did their thing. And I really like the grudginess and dark color pallette of the mv. I also love the sound of madarin I think that's why chinese units always immediatly have a special place in my heart something about mandarin is so pleasing to my ears. So many exo-m songs I know better than the korean version, The thing is wayv has more english versions or just straight english songs than 127 and dream. So I'm surprised they're only now getting a little more of a international push. But late is better than never, they're getting exo-md but in a better way at least. And for me Winwin, Hendery and Yangyang really stood out the most to me. And I have to talk about how much I love xiaojun's hair. And yes look at you husband! Of course Wayv never ever disappoints. I just love wayv so much.

Funny thing is I just finished a tag game I was tagged in, I already tagged you I'll post it from my drafts after I respond to your second ask.

[pigeonworks]

Spellbound (We Are Entranced)

A Max Mayfield Character Study Throughout Season 4

Getting up in the morning was hard. It'd been that way for almost a year now. Max would wake up and wish she hadn't. She'd like to sleep forever. It was peaceful there; you know, if you don't count the nightmares.

Yet, her alarm clock still drew her out of bed. Every. Single. Morning.

Dressing in a dirty shirt she'd worn twice this week and a jacket on top, Max headed down the hallway into the living room. At least, that's the best word for it. A shitty trailer is more accurate.

Beer bottles littered the space, but she didn't pick them up. Not this morning; Max didn't have the energy.

Grabbing two Tylenol, she placed them in her mouth before swallowing them down with some water from the sink.

Her mother was nowhere in sight, and when Max checked the bedroom, she found it empty. Lord knows where she was at seven in the morning.

She was probably drunk. She'd been that way recently. Ever since Neil left, that is.

Grabbing her red bookbag, Max made her way out the door. She wasn't hungry enough for breakfast. She was never hungry.

Max watched as Eddie Munson sped away in his van, rock music blaring. Too bad she couldn't drive. Instead, Max had to take the bus. At least she had her Walkman and Kate Bush to keep her sane.

Hopping off the crowded bus, Max rolled her eyes as someone called her name. She didn't want to have a conversation this early in the morning.

"Max! Max!" Taking off her headphones and turning around, she realized the voice was of Ms. Kelly. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I forgot it was Thursday," Max mumbled.

"Well, I'd like to see you today. Come straight after lunch, okay?"

Nodding, Max walked away, placing her headphones back on her ears.

The assembly was... painful. Not only cringey (specifically Jason's speech) but also very... personal.

Entering the gym, Max wandered toward Mike and Dustin. She instantly huffed as she overheard Dustin and Mike arguing about who has a better girlfriend. Of course they were.

"Look, I'm not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours." Yes, you are, Max thought. "It's just that Suzie's, like, a certified genius."

"You do realize El has saved the world twice, right?" Mike countered.

"And yet you still have a C in Spanish."

The music stopped, and over the microphone, someone screamed, "Let's hear it for our Tigers!"

The crowd cheered, but all Max could pay attention to was Lucas. He stared directly at her as he ran into the middle of the court, and she glanced away. It hurt too much to look at him, even when he waved at her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Max saw him frown.

She hated it.

If Max was going to be honest, she totally zoned out. That was until Billy was brought up.

"Think of Jack. Think of Melissa. Think of Heather. Think of Billy ."

He did not just bring up Billy. Max caught Lucas's sympathetic eyes, and she turned away from his gaze. She couldn't do this.

Max decided to zone off once again. She needed to ignore everything. Before she got hurt again. She paid attention when Dustin and Mike somehow didn't know how a tournament works. How do they not know this basic information? They really are nerds.

After lunch, Max made her way to Ms. Kelly. In the hallway, she caught a glimpse of none other than head cheerleader Chrissy Cuningham heading out of her office. That's... weird. Why was she there? Not only that, but she looked... uncomfortable, upset.

Sitting in a chair across her desk, Max listened to her Walkman. It was the last thing keeping her grounded. Music did that for her.

Ms. Kelly's muffled voice came from outside the music. "Can you remove your headphones, please?"

Taking them off her head and clicking the button, Max responded with, "Sorry."

"A 'C in English and a 'C- in Spanish," she said, clearing her throat.

"Yeah."

"Well that's not normal for you," Ms. Kelly said sadly.

"If you say so...."

"How's your mom holding up?"

Max stared at the floor. "She's fine...." She paused. "I mean, she hates the new place, which is, like, yeah, it's terrible, but... she's fine."

Max wanted anything but to be here. She'd instead be forced to go to Hellfire than have to talk about her emotions. Nevertheless, here she was. She was sharing her feelings and talking about her family life. God, she would give anything in the world to leave.

"Is she still drinking?"

Max swallowed hard. "Like, yeah, a little, but... Well, she's working two jobs. So it's not easy."

"Must not be easy for you either with your stepdad gone."

"It's kind of better, honestly."

"Better how?"

"He was an asshole. So there's less... assholery."

"Are you sleeping better?" the woman asked gently.

"Yeah, fine," she lied.

"So no more headaches?"

Max shook her head.

"Nightmares?"

Max flashed back to the one she had last night; Billy being impaled by the mindflayer, its tentacle deep inside his chest. She remembered her screams as she called his name.

"Nope."

Ms. Kelly looked at the floor. She knew. She knew Max was lying.

"Max. What you've been through, what you're still going through, it's a lot for anyone," she said as Max fumbled with her headphone cord. "And it's okay to not be okay. But I can only help you if you're truthful, if you open up to me."

"Yeah, I... I know. I'm- I'm being open."

Ms. Kelly sighed.

"I'm being open," Max repeated, though her face said otherwise. Jesus, why did she have to be such a bad liar?

She was so relieved when Ms. Kelly finally excused her.

Exiting the office, Max didn't even notice Lucas until he called her name.

"Max, hey."

Goddamnit. She wasn't in the mood to try and hold a conversation with him. "Are you stalking me or something?"

"Oh, no, I- I just wanted to give you this." He handed Max a piece of paper.

"What is this?"

"A ticket to the game."

Max turned her head towards him and rolled her eyes. Then, marching away, she became frustrated as he followed.

"Listen, I know you never want to go to my games, but this one is kind of a big deal," Lucas continued.

"A big deal?" Max scoffed. "Lucas, you really care about this?" she questioned, still walking.

"Yeah- I- I do. Maybe you should find something you care about too."

Max paused. What did he just say? She stopped, spun around, and glared.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Max saw his face turn to ' oh shit' and paused.

"You're just... It's- it's like you're not even here anymore," Lucas responded hesitantly. He looked so nervous. God, all she did was make things worse for other people. "It's... it's like you're a ghost or something."

Looking away, Max felt a wave of guilt and anger wash over her. "A ghost? Really?"

"Max, I know something's wrong," he said.

"...Yeah, right... Yeah, something must be wrong with me because I broke up with you."

Lucas shook his head. "No. That... that's not what I meant."

Max had heard enough. "Lucas, look, people just change, okay? That's it. I've changed. It's that simple." She was so annoyed. So sick of him trying to fix her or something.

Before she entered the bathroom door, Max handed Lucas the ticket back. "Good luck."

She didn't wait to see Lucas's face. As Max hurried in, she quickly pulled out her bottle of Tylenol. She desperately needed them—needed something to calm her.

Max popped down two of them. Suddenly she heard the awful sound of vomit from a stall behind her. Turning around, Max saw a cheerleader's skirt.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah- yes... I'm... I'm fine." Chrissy? Chrissy Cunningham?

"Okay, um... you're sure?"

"Please, just go away." The girl sounded awful. Still, there wasn't anything Max could do for the cheerleader. She wasn't about to snitch on her.

Sighing, Max left the dull restroom, hoping Chrissy was okay.

Max was so glad to leave school. So relieved it was Spring Break.

Earlier that day, Dustin had tried to convince her to play D'n'D with him. Hell no.

As Max climbed onto the bus, she clicked on her Walkman, and Running Up That Hill blasted through it. She found it almost therapeutic—an escape.

It blocked out the obnoxious teens who screamed and yelled in the back, which always seemed to leave her deaf.

Her mom still wasn't back once Max entered her trailer, giving her more time to herself.

Walking into her room, she plopped onto the bed and sighed. Everything seemed so bleak. The single window in Max's room offered little sunlight, leaving her in darkness. It was fitting, though. It's kind of what her world felt like at the moment. cold. Empty.

How was she going to make it through this year? Max didn't think she would. Surely something would prevent her at some point. Things weren't looking up for her. They never were.

If Max could take some more pills, she would. But she'd overdosed at school once. Max couldn't walk in a straight line, and her words slurred together. She wasn't sure how she managed not to pass out that day. No one found out about it. Thank god.

Max must've stayed on her bed for hours because the next thing she knew, it was night. Checking her clock, she realized it was eight. Lucas should be done playing his basketball game right now.

Max really didn't want to, but it felt wrong not to listen to the radio and hear the outcome. So she sat up and tuned in. Instantly, she listened to the announcer.

" After a tragic year for our town, the Tigers have brought home the conference title for the first time in twenty-two years. " Another man continued, saying, " And what a great game it was, Allen, ending with a dramatic buzzer-beater from benchwarmer Lucas Sinclair! "

Lucas?

Max couldn't listen to the rest. She wasn't about to listen to people talking about him. Turning it off, she sighed, hanging her head.

Outside, a dog started barking. The owners never fed it, so Max had decided to take on that responsibility.

"Alright, alright, I hear you."

Standing up, Max made her way out of her bedroom.

Her mom was passed out on the couch, and Max wondered when she'd arrived. How'd she not notice the sound of the front door opening? Not only that, but how didn't she hear the TV? Whatever.

Cleaning up the empty beer bottles and fetching some chicken, Max strode out the door to the dog.

A second later, Eddie's van sped into the trailer park and halted in front of his house.

He drives like he's being chased or something.

Suddenly, Max spotted none other than Chrissy Cunningham hop out the door and follow Eddie into his trailer.

It took Max a second to fully realize why she was with him, but it all made sense once she did. First, the vomiting went to Ms. Kelly, and now to his house. Chrissy was going through something, so she probably resorted to drugs.

The dog barked once more, so Max continued to feed it. Chrissy and Eddie were none of her business.

When Max finally ran out of chicken, she walked back into her trailer.

That's when something... weird happened.

The lights and TV started to go crazy, and even though she knew it was most likely a coincidence, she couldn't help but wonder... No, it couldn't be. Max didn't want to believe it.

Max heard a scream. Eddie's scream. Sprinting towards the window, she saw him slam open the front door and book it into his van.

She knew he always sped, but this was different. He looked terrified. His driving was more erratic than it usually was too.

Deep down, Max knew something was wrong. She just knew it. Still, it was none of her business. After all, she tended to overthink stuff.

As she slept, nightmares plagued her mind. It'd been nonstop for the past few days. Not only that, but these were different than the usual ones she'd been gifted with after Billy died. These were so realistic, downright terrifying.

Max knew something was wrong.

[autisticburnham]

all of the hyperfixation icons for prodigy. i'm sorry i forgot to message you.

You're fine!

📃 Plot:

You already know this because you are THEE Prodigy blogger, but for everyone else, it's about a group of kids who are enslaved at a mining outpost stumbling upon the ship that it turns out they were enslaved to find. Rather than telling their overseer though, they work together to get the ship turned on, get help from its built in training program, and break out- though the breakout does go wrong and they end up accidently kidnapping their enslaver's daughter. Pursued by their overseer, they decide to flee to the Federation and seek asylum after learning about it from the hologram, and along the way explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go where they have never gone before

✨️ What draws you towards it/what's interesting about it?

This is what Star Trek fans have been begging for for years! A cast of non-Federation aliens! That's so cool and opens up so many opportunities for worldbuilding! And the constraint of being designed specifically to be a good show for someone's first Star Trek means that they have to focus on telling a good story with compelling characters instead of just throwing nostalgia at you. Of course they do still have nostalgic stuff because old fans will inevitably watch, but the show doesn't depend on that the way a lot of new Trek does. And make a good show with compelling characters they did! That was the strongest first season for Star Trek ever. Holy shit I love these characters and I'm so heartbroken we won't get to see their whole story play out

🎥 Favorite scenes

Sorry to go for sad shit, but Rok coming out of the time loop and Gwyn realizing her father cares more about the ship than her really stick with me. On a brighter note though, I really love Zero breaking out of the Borg's control and Dal and Janeway swapping back bodies

🎶 Favorite music piece from it?

Imma be honest, I don't remember any music from it other than the theme song, so I'm gonna go with the theme song

💕 Favorite character and why you like them

Oh, it's so hard to pick! I love all of these kids so much! If you asked me again, I would undoubtedly give a different answer, but for now I'm gonna go with Rok Tahk. I don't know if she is fat or if her size is normal her species, but she certainly read to the audience as fat. And fat characters are never portrayed as smart and kind and delicate. So to see this little girl who is so wonderful and sweet be told her whole life she's strong and scary because of the way she looks, knowing that's wrong, and finding people who listen to her about that and let her be a soft kid and who encourage her when she finds she's smart and she loves science- that's so special and I'm so glad the kids who did get to see her did. I know she's gonna mean a lot to them too

💔 Least favorite character and why you hate them

I feel like it's a cop out to say the villian, but it's the Diviner. He enslaved children. From a doylist, a character is good if they serve their function in the story well standpoint, he's great from. From a watsonian, these kids only ever deserve good things in their lives standpoint? Kill

🏳️‍🌈 Do you have any diverse headcanons that are important to you?

Every single one of these children is autistic. I don't have any solid queer headcanons for them though; I'd be open to any interpretation of them

🍀 Comfort characters?

All of them, really. I love them all very much, but not any of them particularly more than the others

💎 Any fun facts or trivia you'd like to share?

I don't think so? I don't think I know any trivia about Prodigy

💢 Something you don't like and would change?

The cancelation 😭

[smartass-hoot]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers. I hope you're having an amazing day/night!! (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡ (especially you bro,, the bromeo to my bruhliet 💖)

and i love you too bro,,, the broseidon to my brocean 💜💜💜

alright, so 5 things that make me happy, here we go!!! (i forgot to post this kdsjfnskjdfnskj rip sorry for being late)

literally any haikyuu opening song or OST like idk what it is about that music but it IMMEDIATELY brings my mood up to a 100!!! also music in general makes me so happy,,, i can't go a single day without listening to music skjfnkdsj

CHOCOLATES!!! call me a basic bitch, but i'm obsessed with chocolates, to the point where even having a small bite can make me super happy! it doesn't even have to be sweet, i'm a whore for dark chocolate too but yeah. chocolate

comments, kudos, likes, reblogs, asks, literally any sort of response to my creative stuff 'cause i love sharing my drawings and writing!! and also i really like commenting on other people's creative stuff and showering them with love and affection!!! it's just so much fun!!! ESPECIALLY IF IT'S PEOPLE I KNOW!!! then i enjoy going ham with the comments and showering them with love (the same way they do to me)

spending time with my fam!!! i'm really lucky to have a family that loves and supports me, especially when they understand that i'm a dumbass and they don't judge me for it. like,,, just being in the same room as them and talking to them and stuff makes me happy haha i really am blessed this way

PETTING LITERALLY ANY ANIMAL EVER!! like i remember playing with frogs and mice and dogs and cats and those times were the best ever. i can't stand insects but i can and will snuggle the shit out of every other animal. actually i don't even need to pet the animal, just looking at it is enough to make the serotonin go brrrrrrr lmao

thanks for sending this to me bro!!! i'd send it back to you but you've already done it so yee imma send it to people's asks now!! <3

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Mike and Steph B104 9.20.22

1. Tell us about shooting the Bigger Than Me video in Iceland.

I’ve been lucky enough to have been in Iceland before. The song, Bigger Than Me, in my opinion, carries an ambition. It has one of those big soaring choruses. so I wanted something that matched that visually, that felt visually ambitious. Iceland is a place that is just beautiful, everywhere you look. So it was kind of the most appropriate place to create a video like that.

2. Can you describe inspirations for the album, and some of the musicians that collaborated with you?

I was lucky enough to work on this album with more artists than professional songwriters. you get a different kind of duty of care with every single song in that it sort of has its own importance, whereas sometimes going in with professional songwriters, and this is not the case with everyone, but people are looking for the singles, and that sometimes changes the creation or the creative process. so I find it more fulfilling to work with more artists in general across this entire record. In terms of inspiration, this whole album was written with the next tour in mind. by far the most excitement I have as an artist is in those moments. And I’m lucky enough to have an incredible atmosphere and energy with the fans at the shows. So it’s about trying to meet them in the middle, really, and create as much excitement in the music, because I know they will deliver as a crowd.

3. When you turn the mic to the crowd, is it because you forgot the lyrics?

It’s funny you should say that, because I’d say one in four gigs, normally I forget some lyrics, one of the One Direction ones. But sometimes I’m trying to take a breath, man! these days, like I’m used to sharing the stage, but now that I’m on me own, these days you get a little bit knackered. So once in a while I’m like, all right, you can sing this bit. Luckily they always sing back to me. It would be pretty awkward if you hold mic out and got nothing in return. I am lucky like that.

4. Tell us about the Away From Home Festival

Last year was the first year we did it. we just done the second year, which was in Spain. And the level of growth from the first year to where we are now already feels pretty drastic. [It allows me to give a platform to up and coming bands that wouldn’t have the opportunity, and gives me an opportunity to tell my fans what I listen to. That fills me full of pride.]

5. Do you have an idea where you would like to do it next year?

I’d love to do it over two days as opposed to one day next year, so it might be about where the most appropriate place to try and pull off something like that is. I'd like to bring it here to America, but I don't know about next year - might be the year after, but at some point definitely.

6. A fan asked what color they should paint their nails.

Great question. Sounds like a question for yourself really, whatever you think suits you. I've got no idea, never painted me nails so I don't know. Let's go… red.

7. Who’s the nicest smelling person you’ve ever met?

That's what I was asked the other day. I don't go around smelling people so I've got no idea, man! My least favorite questions is, if I was a superhero, what would be my super power.

8. Do you have a preshow ritual?

Not a lot, really. I normally just have a couple deep breaths and try to have ten seconds to myself before I walk out.

9. Do you like karaoke?

I really do not like karaoke, I’m trying to think of a decent analogy. When I spend all me life singing, to go and socially sing on me down time, it’s a bit excessive.

10. How do you spend your free time? What kind of television do you like to watch?

Just really normal things. The other night boxing was on so we went to a bar. When I’m back home, I like to spend time with my mates, maybe go for a drink, watch football. I’ve not got much time for reality shows, ironically, although, I came up through one with X-Factor. I watch a lot of rubbish TV. I like a little crime stuff! There's loads of that on Netflix. Those mad-like murder mysteries, I like that kind of stuff.

11. How about performing under the weather?

There might be a small percentage of shows where you’re tired, a little bit hungover, when you feel like you’re not ready, and you walk out and that energy hits you in the face, I feed off of it massively.

12. Do you ever get nervous on live tv or on tour?

I'd say, live TV is 10x more nerve wracking, once you build up the consistency, you’ve got muscle memory and you know you can do it. I normally have a couple of deep breaths and then walk out. Cross your fingers and roll with it.

13. Favorite football player?

I’d go with Jude Bellingham, plays over in Germany at the moment.

14. Favorite ice cream?

Mint chocolate ice cream, a massive amount!

15. How would you like to be remembered?

That’s a big question! As an artist? As a person? I suppose it kind of fits both. I’d like for people to remember me as doing the right thing by people. 9 times out of 10, I try and do the right thing by people.

16. Dogs or cats?

Dog, I have two dogs, I’m not a big fan of cats… I don’t trust them!

The podcast

[meyhew]

what made you stop liking harry

i rly hate when ppl post essays abt why theyre "unstanning" or whatever so its under the cut

i haven't rly vibed with him since early 2020. the first Big red flag for me was when he released the stupid STUPID covid merch, which cost me some mutuals (that i'd been previously very fond of) because i said it was a tone deaf thing for him to do and just very stupid—all the while masquerading around los angeles getting papped at the onset of a global pandemic. like that was so so stupid. i dont care if the proceeds or the profits or whatever went to charity; he could easily donate that much money out of his own pocket without putting factory workers at even more risk.

i forget when his casting in my policeman was announced but i do know that he knew about it when he was going to those black lives matter protests and kneeling with black people, knowing full well he'd agreed to play a cop—in 1950s england of all places. in a movie that will not address that racism and colonization because it's about two white gay men. newsflash: gay cops are class traitors. as a pakistani queer person, i HATE his involvement in that story and there's nothing u can say to change my mind about that

not excited about dont worry darling bc every mf on the planet has been obsessed with olivia wilde and if he's fucking her or if she's an evil bitch or whatever and im bored. i dont care

i fucking hate pleasing. i HATE pleasing. i hate that its a "lifestyle" brand, which means they can sell literally anything they want without actually having any credibility or authority to do so. im sick of celebrity makeup brands but at least those celebrities deal with makeup a lot on a daily basis. harry specifically has no business putting out skincare items—which aren't even good—and charges the prices that he has. i hate how much they charge for shipping and for literally everything, and how late their deliveries are. taking literal months and months. yes i know harry himself doesnt dictate all of that but it's his name attached to the brand. if i have a problem with ariana grande's makeup line, i'm going to complain about ariana grande—not the people putting together the formulas. u know?

OH. there was also that nfl/pepsi fiasco. lmao. forgot about that until now but that made me feel incredibly icky and im glad it was disaster

i didn't like harry's house

i also dont like his silence regarding palestine. ironically this isnt AS much of a contributing factor bc he doesnt need to comment on everything going on in the world but he has a habit of saying something when tragedy strikes somewhere that isn't palestine. so that has left a bad taste in my mouth <3

and i HATE his fans. the way they talk about him is so fucking obnoxious. if they didnt harass me literally every single maybe i might still care a little bit. but i blacklisted his name a few months ago bc blocking only goes so far and i did not want to see what these freaks were saying, which resulted in me rarely ever seeing anything harry related. and i realized... i don't really care if i dont see him. and that was that. it's not like any one big thing happened and i decided i hate him. i just realized i dont rlly love him anymore the way i once did. i still really love self titled and fine line and i'll probably still listen to any other music he puts out but yeah. thats all

[spaceghostyons]

I've been listening to J Cole and Kendricks discography the past few days to refresh my memory etc. Few thoughts.

Cole improved a lot the past few albums as a lyricist. Between Born Sinner and KOD, I think he was trying to figure out how to make 'commercial music', so the sing songy stuff and more flow focus over lyricism, which lost me as I was a fan before he got signed when I saw the Who Dat video, he had a fire and raw energy and upon getting signed its like he was trying to figure out how to fit in the industry and make hit music. And I just felt Drake and Big Sean was doing that so much better. Then Kendrick did the conscious thing so much better so Cole was trying to figure out where he fit in and he even acknowledged that in recent tracks and this latest Kendrick diss (which was cool). But he's found his stride as of recent years.

The Off Season is really good, he's really spittin on there. Might be his best work so far? Cole said TPAB was boring. I listen to that album occasionally but I went back to it this morning. J Cole has never had an album as layered and cohesive as this. As well produced, written and musical. I can see how it can be boring to people that only listen to hiphop and r&b, but if you have any depth to your musical taste, TPAB is in the top 50 hiphop albums ever. There's nothing to compare it to in modern rap. It changed the game in the same ways every bonafide classic did before it and no hiphop album has since. J Cole knows he's been playing catch up and admits that. If 'bars' is what you're looking for, then I'd say Cole has definitely been giving us solid bars more consistently! He's also given general hiphop fans more vibes as of late, Cole can fit in on playlists with a lot of contemporary rappers moreso than Kendrick rn. He's been busier for sure bc again he's playing catch up. I just don't think Cole is as good an overall hiphop artist and songwriter as Kendrick. I've yet to hear a song as well written and iconic as 'Alright', or 'Money Trees' or Backseat Freestyle' or 'Swimming Pools', or emotionally resonant as 'Sing About Me' 'The Heart Part 5' or Bitch Dont Kill My Vibe, or just flat out vibes or bangers like 'Loyalty', Element, DNA, etc. I really just think people have recency bias, Kendrick went quiet a bit and didn't make any radio singles on his last project and went away from the industry in silent protest and some people forgot how impactful he was and how much of a game changer his art is. But that's hip-hop and social media age for ya. It's looking like Kendrick is going to remind people this year.

[aeipathcy]

"Ugh... I completely forgot Valentine's Day was coming up," Vivian scowls as her bespectacled stare lingers over the advertising poster plastered against one of the mall's billboard mockups... and as if that wasn't already enough, it was also directly nestled next to the single escalator leading up towards the food court, where the bathrooms resided. Honestly, since an angry customer had splashed ice coffee all over Reanne's top, Vivian ended up buying her a new shirt before subsequently accompanying her across the mall in the hopes of somehow helping her clean up the stains, but now that they were almost at the food court, she feels her mood immediately begin to sour.

"But $35, huh? It's not exactly what I'd call a steal, yet at the same time, I guess it's way cheaper than those 'romantic' boat cruises they host every year for Valentine's. Still, I wouldn't be caught dead, listening to pretentious jazz music while sipping away at wine that probably tastes like cat piss," Vivian then shakes her head, and within seconds, sluggishly boards the escalator. "Anyways... it's a good thing your tank top wasn't see through, Riri; otherwise, you might have been mentally undressed by a whole bunch of middle aged white dudes right about now."

UNPROMPTED ┊always accepting.

Why did she have to deal with this kind of behavior just after she had signed off the clock and was wearing her favorite top? Ugh! She spent good money on this thing and now it was stained with coffee—and it wasn't even black coffee; it was the stupid mixtures of fake coffee drinks people got at that stupidly overpriced chain store that made frappuccinos or whatever they were! Thank god she was satisfied with a basic cup of coffee when she needed it.

Glancing down at the remnants of whipped cream that stood out as a stark contrast from the black hue of her top, Reanne stretched the garment in her hands and attempted to wipe down the stain with the napkins she had managed to grab earlier, frustration nearly bringing tears to her eyes, ❝ Do you know how many paychecks I saved to buy this?! It was so much effort saving and now some idiot decided to ruin it! ❞

Thankfully, Vivian was sweet enough to buy her a new shirt on the spot—and now she would make doubly sure to pay her back for that expense. Turning to her friend, the girl sighed in defeat, knowing that the napkin wiping was not going to get the stain out any better than it had before, ❝ How much was this t-shirt anyway? ❞ she asked, shifting her glance down towards the most random oversized style graphic-tee she had laid her eyes on. It had some sort of character on it—a red background and a yellow bird printed in a cartoon style she swore was familiar from somewhere.

Although it seemed the smell of the food court drew both their attentions away from the task at hand and they were further distracted by an advertisement posted by the escalator they were riding. As Reanne took in the price, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that her mouth might have watered at the cheap price (relative to her own dining expenses anyway), ❝ 35 for a 4 course meal...? ❞ she trailed off as her imagination ran with the idea of multiple entrées and side dishes and drinks set to cover an entire table top... a giant steak, a decent fillet of fish or an upscale surf n' turf, asparagus, carrots, string beans, salads, potatoes, amazing sauce garnishes, and maybe the nicest slice of cheesecake or chocolate dessert ever... a smile stretched itself onto her face. Ah, she was making herself hungry just thinking about it!

Except her companion didn't seem to be drawn in by the deal as much as she was, citing the high expense and terrible atmosphere. Her smile faltering, the girl held her stained top closer to her chest as if to forcibly calm herself down from the temptation of signing up for a night of exquisite food.

With an awkward laugh, Reanne chased away her temptations, ❝ I guess I can see why it wouldn't be appealing. I mean, I personally love the idea of a nice meal for cheap, but either way, this might be for couples only. ❞ She put a finger to her chin as she thought through her words. Though if it was couples only, she'd just drag Keith along like she did nearly every year to make use of the couple bonuses. With how easy it was to get him flustered and all, it wasn't hard convincing others they were romantically involved, ❝ And wine isn't bad, you just need to find the specific one you like. ❞ Whatever her dad drank actually tasted pretty good now that she recalled it.

Lowering her finger to properly hold onto her stained top again, Reanne laughed at Vivian's commentary about the angry customer, ❝ Haha, I never wear white so that wouldn't happen! Besides, I know people would be mentally undressing me regardless of whether or not I had a stained shirt since plenty of guys have told me about those kinds of thoughts in the past. It's a compliment at this point—it means I'm pretty! ❞

As they stepped off the escalator, an idea struck in her head—as if she could kill two birds with one stone, ❝ Hey, if this dinner thing isn't couples only, why don't I treat you to this as returning the favor of buying me this shirt today? You can try something new at no cost to you and I get to pay you back. How's that sound? ❞

[featherdownmoor]

the guys ive managed to smoothly and confidently compliment (see also: flirted with) who respond to me with giggles. they'll never know that i think about that interaction as much as (if not more) than they probably do. its flattering to be flirted with but its even more flattering to flirt and have the person turn into goo in your hands. like "oh i did that?"

one time was where a guy (who is now dating my ex best friend who shit talked me all over town but that's another tale) was telling me about the stuff he liked and i said "oh that's really cute" (THAT'S, not YOU'RE) and he blushed so hard he couldn't look me in the eye and started giggling. another time was where i was out with a guy friend (i actually had a crush on him when i was 7, and still kind of found him cute) and his other friend and i forgot the interaction but it involved me saying something a lil out of the ordinary, but the main thing is that i made sure to look him deep in the eye (no matter how cringey that sounds lol). but i guess whatever i did worked, because the guy got flustered and had to turn away for a couple of seconds with his hands to his mouth, and then when he actually turned back he went "d-do you w-wanna go to animangaki with me?" (he had never mentioned this anime convention ever in any of the previous conversation). and then me, excited but outwardly cool as ever, i go "when is it?" and he goes "june" and i pretend to think and smile and say "well I'll have to check back but i'd like to go". and then he nods quickly and i catch him turn away and smile to himself. what may have also helped my case was that at that moment i was wearing his headphones. before that whole scene, he put them on me and made me listen to his playlist so i was just walking around with them on. i think he secretly liked watching me walk around with them on, listening to his music, but when i wanted him to listen to my playlist, he kinda brushed me off and told me he'd listen to it at home. and to be fair, he definitely fucking did. he played every single song, i could see his activity on discord and he really did go through the entirety of every song which was honestly really flattering but also confusing. flirting is easier. when it comes to real feelings and not just performative displays of attraction, it's more confusing

[fizzingwizard]

OK not that anyone asked but I watched a couple eps of Hell's Kitchen s22 and I gotta vent about it. just keep scrolling nothing to see here hahahaha

I shouldn't even be surprised that a cringey theme like "the American dream" was greenlighted. And hell, I'd just accept it as some patriotic gimmick if it weren't mentioned like, every other sentence. The contestants were so obviously coached to find ways to fit "American dream" into literally anything they say during interviews. Served raw chicken? "There goes my American dream." Survived elimination? "My American dream lives to see another day." Allergic to peanuts? "This won't get in the way of my American dream." Gag me. Who makes this shit. Who is so bereft of creativity that they can think of no other way to make a cohesive series than by beating the viewers over the head with the theme. And why does that person have a job lol.

There's this one Irish contestant. Every single time he appears in the first episode, they play an Irish reel. Every. Time. Ep 2 thankfully dropped the horrific theme music for this guy so hopefully it was just an idiot deciding the audio for ep 1.

Also listening to the non-American contestants (including Goordoooon Raaamsayyyy) talk about their "American dream" was uh. Well it was something. I mean as we all know, non-Americans don't have dreams. They are incapable of dreaming. Socialism (all foreign countries are evil socialists 0:) ) has sapped the dreams right out of them. Now I'm obviously being sarcastic here but tbh this joke falls only juuuust shy of what certain Americans really truly think about the entire rest of the world.

Almost forgot: There's this dude who plays Quidditch. And the show cannot stop making fun of him for it. Having seen other seasons, I knew the minute he mentioned Quidditch that it was going to follow him forever, because television leave a person alone for having a nerdy hobby? Never! Unfortunately for him he was eliminated almost right away, so he never got a chance to prove that even Quidditch players can achieve the American dream, lol. Jokes aside, it really is so fucking stupid how American TV goes after anyone who likes anything that isn't, idk, football. It is a hobby. A hobby, even an unusual one, does not define a person, nor decide their worth, nor make it okay to bully them!!! Word to the wise, never ever ever mention liking anything on TV, that will be used against you.

Seriously I felt like I was in elementary school social studies class. "This is America. We have separation of church and state also God bless America. We celebrate Thanksgiving because Squanto and the nice Native Americans gave the hungry, God-fearing pilgrims corn. Only bad Native Americans were killed and white settlers definitely never scalped anyone. They were just defending their families and their dreams. Ireland is where leprechauns are from! America is the best country 5ever."

on the upside shows like this do usually drop the cringe after not too long because in the end it is a gimmick. so fingers crossed it won't be brought up much until the finale. buhahaha

[cosettepontmercys]

Hi! Ya I totally agree that festivals are probably exhausting especially if you went to all days. I've always kinda wanted to go to one though and I like that there are a lot of different artists. I've always wanted to go to Outsidelands or maybe Coachella one day just to see what it's like and for the experience so it's still cool that you got to go! I'd be worried about the weather too.

So music for me is a lot easier than watching TV shows. I try to and basically listen to everything cuz I like all genres and always listen to new music. I am pretty familiar with most artists. If you recommend some artists you like, I will definitely check them out and add it to my long list haha. So I like everything but my favorite artists are the ones who I've loved for a long time and sometimes kinda from the beginning of their career. My top two are Taylor and Twenty One Pilots though..for their music, and being in the fandom, which are the only two that are like that where I'm obsessed and know a lot about them. Taylors my favorite and they are my sister's favorite. Then Paramore and a Canadian artist called Lights are two more I've been a fan of since like 2009. Then other alternative or emo bands like MCR, Panic at the Disco and Fall Out Boy..but it's not really my everyday music anymore. My favorite kind of music is alternative. I'm also a big fan of The Smiths and The Cure's music and the guitar in their music and their lyrics. Best Coast and Soccer Mommy are two other artists where I love pretty much every single song from them and some of my favorite artists ever now..and I was also kind of a fan from the beginning. The lead singer of Best Coast actually just put out her own solo album last week so that's something I've been playing recently. I also love all of Hayley Williams solo music and Best Coast and Soccer Mommy are kinda similar to Paramores music if that helps. I also like Beabadoobee who opened for Taylor too. I'm also a fan of pop music..and any like singer songwriter girl I will pretty much check out. I loved Carly Rae's last albums and Tori Kelly just put out an EP. I've been a fan of Kelly Clarkson for a long time too and her last album was so good. I'm also a fan of anyone from 1D. I like Sabrina, Gracie, Maisie, and anyone who Taylor recommends usually, like Haim and Phoebe too. I'm excited for Olivia Rodrigo and Holly Humberstone's albums. I also love Broadway and musicals a lot lol. Also Jeremy Jordan is in a band now called Age of Madness and I liked every song from the EP. The only genre I don't really care for is EDM Rap or country..but I still enjoy girl country artists too.

The Barbie house recreated on stage would be so amazing!!! That's so cool that you talked about Smash with someone while you were there haha. I loved the music on the show and omg I forgot about the Bombshell musical. The only thing I kinda knew about the Some Like it Hot musical besides the Tony wins and the plot from the movie was apparently they reused the song Lets Be Bad in the show.

.I think Newsies would be such a cool show to watch live and I like all of the casts too anyway. I missed Waitress on tour but I would have wanted to see that one too. It's another show where all of the cast is good but each performer makes the character a little different. I liked Jessie, Sara, Katharine McPhee and Nicolette too from clips I saw. Drew Gehling and Jeremy were the best Pommaters to me. I wonder who was the cast for the proshot and when it was coming out.

The Notebook musical sounds interesting though with the sets and stuff. Hopefully they can improve it when it does come to Broadway. Movie adaptations are always kinda tricky or cash grabby too, and then it's hard to put songs in or they end up forgettable..or they change it a bit from the original movie .Something like The Bands Visit, Legally Blonde, Waitress, and Beetlejuice and Moulin Rouge are ones I thought worked pretty well. Also did you hear about or what are your thoughts on the new Gatsby musical? It's starring Jeremy Jordan and Eva Noblezada!!!

hellooooo friend! i was telling everyone i know that i'll never do another music festival again, but then my best friend was like "wait but i really want to go to one someday" so i guess i am going to at least one more music festival in my lifetime. the things we do for the people we love! i think outside lands might be chiller than lolla, so i'm thinking i might do that with her at some point depending on the lineup? the lineup this year looks really good; i was looking at it a while ago before landing on lolla — there's a bit of overlap with lolla artists (including my girl holly!!) but there's also conan gray, who i'd love to see live, and inhaler (who i saw live earlier this year), and samia (who i wish i'd gotten to see earlier this year, but things just didn't quite work out). music is also easier for me than tv shows! especially since i can listen to them while i work! i like beabadoobee — she was fun to see live at lolla! she's actually coming to seattle in a few days i think, but i decided to pass on her concert just because i've spent too much money lately (especially on live music). i'm so so excited for holly humberstone, i feel like i've been waiting on her debut for ages. some other people i've been listening to lately are: griff, grace enger (who is opening for maisie on her us tour; her album just came out yesterday), cate canning, gretta ray (who has an album out next week), claire rosinkranz (who opened for maisie's aftershow), the japanese house, renee rapp, charli xcx, haim, muna, lily kincade, clairo, isabel pless, del water gap, lizzy mcalpine, etc.! i had no idea that jeremy jordan is in a band now; i'll have to go look it up later! ooh i didn't realize that! i haven't kept up with SLIH at all but i've had friends go and say it was amazing, and the choreo was beautifully done! i just have not really been paying attention to broadway lately </3 i loveeee drew gehling's pomatter; i know some people think he got stale near the end but i was always charmed by him haha. i do have a soft spot for drew though because he was in roman holiday! i've seen links for the proshot floating around but i've never seen it; i really should sit down and watch it some day. ooh yes! all the ones you listed were great movie → musical adaptations, and i'd also add once, sing street, and amelie to list (among others)! i think it's just like ... the newer/more recent ones feel very ... underdone/cashgrabby/like they're just churning out musicals to have them if that makes sense? i am very intrigued about the gatsby musical, especially since there's two — it'll be a very "wild party" situation again i think! i'm very curious to see how jeremy jordan and eva noblezada play off each other (esp. since he's quite a bit older than her). i actually really love gatsby; my english teacher was phenomenal the year we read gatsby and made me really appreciate analyzing text/annotating/etc. more! i cannot waittttt to see the costumes and set (i'm a very visual person!) what about you? what do you think of it?

[ashtonisrottting]

[this is just useless venting, nothing relevant]

nana, do you remember how i heard this music in a looping after you died? i spent 5 months just listening to it and thinking about how I'd light up every single corner of this world so you wouldn't be in the dark, almost falling because you're as clumsy as i am –or, worse, looking for a sign that someone actually cared about you.

I'm very sorry for not being the granddaughter you wanted and I'm even more sorry for the person I've become but... maybe we could talk about it now?

[i thought about starting with all the bad things and then going with the good ones, but i think it's enough that i can acknowledge what these things are; i don't have to bother you with them] so... I'll do a list? it's more organized for me.

did you know i cut my hair? not I'm all curls and i love it! it's much lighter than strengthening it every weekend.

i don't wear rings anymore because my fingers are thinner, but I'm all bracelets and necklaces. (i kept the rings i got from you and i kept the heart necklace i found one week after you died. they're in my safe box now :))

i miss your cornmeal cake. i never ate it after you died. (and i never ate chicken soup and cassava broth ever again. it reminds me of you and how you puked all over the plate i handed you because the pills were making you feel bad; it's like being 12 all over again and feeling incredibly guilty for being the one that handed you that plate; i can't take it.)

i changed rooms and... your grandson, Icarus, he doesn't talk to me anymore. i think he hates my guts but that's alright; i hate his too.

I'm more quiet now and more... polite. people say I look much older and all i can think about is how young dancing with you, barefoot in your living room, made me feel. (i wish we could dance again.)

i hate dresses? and i don't wear nothing that is sleeveless. if you somehow know the reason, I'm sorry I'm not better than that.

i know how to cook and it really calms me down like nothing else. (i want to make cupcakes for you to try one day)

i graduated in highschool but i didn't go to prom. it was a small thing in the city's cinema and i just... people there didn't like me very much, y'know? I'd feel weird and i didn't have a suit to go.

there was no 15 birthday. it would be pointless if you weren't there. (i was only going to do something because you said you wanted to give me a ring and make sure I knew i could be a woman and you precious little girls forever)

I'm addicted to books? i think you'd find it funny the amount of paper and things i carry around because of them. i take notes of everything and I'm always sketching my thoughts... I'd like to share some of them with you.

i didn't learn how to comb my hair –I still have a heavy hand and I still pull out tufts of hair for lack of patience. I'd like to have you doing it for me. I'd teach you how to use every combing cream and I'd go to your house 3 days a week so you could do it for me.

I'd like to sleep by your side one last time to hear you breathing and snoring and mumbling incoherent things.

i want to hear you singing again and i need to hear your voice. i forgot about it nana. i forgot how you sound like.

I'm sorry I'm not the girl you wanted me to be. you deserved better.

I'm sorry for everything in general. i think things could've been better, y'know? i lost so much time with you. i never really thought you would be gone some day and I'd never taste your coffee or your cakes ever again. i was selfish and annoyingly... childish. i should've been smart enough to see that you're the only person in this family that's worth remembering. I'm sorry

I'm sorry, so sorry. i know you won't ever know these things because you're gone –youre not even a bag of bones at this point–, but I'd still like to apologize. i should've accepted your love back then –i should've known it was going to be the first and last genuine feeling anyone would be capable to have towards me

[notafatalfemme]

Aliah and I bonded through the weirdest and most outrageous dynamic: she wouldn't stop talking and making plans. And I wouldn't stop disappearing and cancelling them. I never felt judged when I decided to ignore her calls or constant messaging, although I am quite sure she was in fact, judging me, with Asian killing eyes. We realised then two contradictory things; we had loads in common yet nothing was similar in our lives. Aliah is wild, flirtatious and straightforward when drunk. I tend to be shy, isolated and never say things upfront unless mad or hurt. Aliah is way smarter than me, however gets easily distracted. She is always in constant motion, she's obsessed with recycling and when things get boring and there is nothing else to do, she always finds something to put her mind into. Wether that'd be ordering 5kg of almonds ergo learning and baking every single day a new recipe to get rid of the huge pile of seeds. Or, she could actually go out alone seeking for company, friends and attention in pubs, beaches, trips and parties. Or, in extreme cases, becoming such a workaholic that losing more than 10kg is expected because she simple forgot to eat. Me, on the other hand, enjoy listening to music, watching films, reading books and letting myself get carried away by my pure and sole imagination and fantasies. I have a hard time connecting with the tangible and real world, I'd rather be alone, in silence, by myself and submerge in a spiral of existencial thoughts and emotions, to the point of feeling numb and paralyzed of everything I have overanalyzed and realized: that we are all going to die and nothing we do actually matters. Nevertheless, Aliah is always there, in a call, a message, a ring bell, to tell me random shit that has happened to her or that has come to her mind, she is always finding ways of detaching from her head and experiencing new realities, worlds, hobbies, senses, interests and new people -even if she doesn't like them at all- and for that Im grateful; she forces me to do the exact opposite of what I am naturally drawn to: getting so stuck in my mind that I hardly get out of my shell. Somehow she succeeds and I end up at parties, events, pubs, beaches and situations where my one and only thought consists on killing her for bringing me there and then killing me for actually complying (this is not literal lol).

Our friendship faced distance, really long distance, a pandemic, lost in translation talks, chats and calls. We both left the place that we hated and loved with our souls and hearts, the place where we met and probably where we'll meet again. It's funny that after spending so much time together and feeling a bit inadequate around everyone else in our own specific ways, we never suspected a thing from one another. We just thought that was who we were, a persistent "it is what it is" whenever we felt like we didn't belong and we were doomed to be alone and misunderstood; two creeps wandering around town with odd reasoning and humor.

Almost 4 years later after saying our last goodbye, we experienced the hard and difficult times that early adulthood brings without any warning; we struggled with work, family and relationships (ofc, people could see it coming). And after carrying out very private and internal processes of constant questioning about our thoughts and actions, after seeking help in doctors, witches, friends and family, we were both diagnosed with mental health illnesses.

I still remember, very neatly, when we both told one another our diagnoses. It felt like a huge relief that was inevitably followed by an uncontrollable laughter when we realized that we actually bonded through our mental imperfections. Our insane and constant thinking and our never shutting off brain, one that never ever stops talking, assuming things, planting absurd scenarios in our heads and making us believe that whatever is going on up there is in fact happening.

I love Aliah to pieces. Our friendship, mentally and emotionally problematic, is in fact a breeze of fresh air of true love in this cruel, sick and sad world. My sweet Aliah, this post intends to - publically - thank all gods, time passages and coincidences for making this amazing trip happen. For reuniting me again with you, my UK family and my personal yet unreliable psychiatrist. Love ya xx!