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#and then i go ''oh shit sorry. my b.''
marlenacantswim · 8 months
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thinking about Freaked (1993) rn. where are my Freaked (1993) fans at? this film to me is like if some guy found a list of all the things i generally like to see in movies and went "ha, so you say, but what if i turned all of them up to eleven and stuffed them into an incredibly cost-ineffective cinematic experience? what then?" and then i genuinely enjoyed it.
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doodleodds · 2 years
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Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah
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Thanks for reading! :) <3
#persona 5#p5#akira kurusu#OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND#if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year.#Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES#as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough#you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO#and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!!#i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments#and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru?#and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters.#and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :(#so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down#'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :))))#ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :)#hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess#probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!
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yuridovewing · 3 months
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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kangaracha · 6 months
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daffodil + chan
a song
the prompt: daffodil (a god bows before a mortal)
read it on ao3
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"You have no power over me."
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running through his hands like water, and suddenly the earth is not his to control. The skies do not turn with the twist of his head, lightning does not fork in the air when his eyes, dark as night and yet still lit by some unearthly light, fall upon you, his mouth wide as if to gasp for a breath he cannot take-
And yet, still, it shivers down your spine; the magic that draws you here even as you rip it apart, the prize of your conquest to rip the world into two.
"Take it back," he hisses through his teeth, the ground trembling with every syllable that slides down his tongue. You watch his mouth as it forms the words, the flash of teeth behind thin lips reminding you of the way that the swordsman you'd fought through to get here had smiled at you - the last of his seven challenges, the last of his demons, or angels, or citizens of the sprawling, damned city he claimed as his kingdom.
And here you stood, at the pinnacle of the eighth, and stared him in the eye without cringing away because now you knew the truth. Now you knew that what he whispered in the dark was a lie and what you saw with your eyes wasn't always true, and though he may be a god and a king amongst beings that you could never hope to rival, a god can only hold as much power as you give him. A god can only claim dominion over a beast that bowed to his dogma. 
You see now that you are no beast. You are no believer in any lie he utters to the darkness.
"Take it back," he says again, the note of his voice changing. He pleads, his brow furrowing and his shoulders curling in as if waiting for the final blow. "Take it back now, before it's too late."
"I can't," you tell him, and you watch him fall to his knees, and you know that it's wrong and your heart pounds in your chest and it
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like the ground does at the impact of his knees, crumbling into the pieces it was in when you first took his hand, alone on the side of the road with only one thing to call your own. And what was that thing, the little warmth you'd held to your chest in the dark and the cold? What had you traded away for the comfort of the house that crumbled around you now? Why had you destroyed him to get it back, where was it now, why did it not appear within his hands at this, the hour of his reckoning?
"Please," he spits into the cold ground, the dirt and the leaves and the curl of ivy that grows up the walls around you, old and ancient and not yet sprouted from its roots all at the same time. His hands curl in the dirt like he can reach down and pull the earth to him, like he can stop the wane of his power if he just tries to hold on a little bit tighter. "I know what you want, and I don't have it. I can't lose-"
Broken, fragile thing. Small god of limited earth, crouched at your feet like he might worship you instead. You'd thought him all-powerful once, and then you'd thought him severe and his servants and beasts and playthings petty, and then you'd thought him
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because he'd smiled at you in the garden that bloomed from his own hands when you expressed your desire for a flower to tuck in the braid of your dark hair, and his hand had been soft in yours, and when he looked out across his kingdom and the clamouring faces of the people he'd brought to live there, he'd looked at them the same way that he'd looked at you.
Beneath your foot, the ground cracks, fracturing outwards like a spiderweb. It's your heart, you realise morosely, sinking from your chest and into the depths of the earth, disappearing with whatever he'd taken from you; and it was a wretched thing and it had betrayed you a hundred times over, but you still mourn at the loss of it and all the dreams it had carried with it. It blooms in your flowers in the corners of the room, embeds itself into the land and sings along with the song of his power, a thing you can hear but cannot touch, a beast once born that now does not belong to you.
"I'm sorry," he says, his breath like mist in the cold air, and even without your heart, you can't bear to see him so cold.
Your hands reach for him without permission, your body kneeling in the dirt before you can stand your feet firm upon the earth and refuse to move. He flinches away, but your fingers are soft upon his chin and the curve of his jaw, gentle when they brush the soft dip of his neck. "I only wanted to know what it was," you tell him with a voice that cannot hold itself steady. "I thought if you loved me, you would give it back." It's the only voice you have - you are not like him, or like Felix, speaking with many tongues. You don't have any power of your own.
"It's because I love you that I can't give it back." His voice is hoarse, every word a knife that he swallows without ever once flinching. "It's because I love you that I couldn't tell you what it was."
"But didn't I deserve to know?" you question. "Doesn't my life belong to me?"
Finally, his eyes rise, looking up at you with a fire that belies the cold of his skin. "Of course it does," he gasps, and his hand reaches up, dirt-stained fingers dragging at your cheek. "That's why I gave it to you, and I never asked for anything else."
"But you wouldn't give back what you took in the first place."
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The sudden violence of his voice crumbles the walls and fractures the sky, the clouds blooming te dark colours of a bruise. The absence of his hand on your cheek stings in the cold; his face turns away, screwed up in regret and a pain he won't allow you to feel. You lurch forward before he can disappear, drawing him into your arms; stiff shoulders, spine of beaten steel, slow beat of a heart you once held in your hands. 
He'd stood so tall and unmoving in the morning light, when you'd first walked down this path, and now in the dark of the setting sun and the ending of the earth, his weight slumps into your grasp, his resolve melting into the warmth of your body. "I didn't want you to suffer again," he says to the soft cotton of your shirt and the curve of your collarbone, his breath a whisper against your skin. "I couldn't watch that, when you asked me to make sure it would never happen again."
Surprise comes in the pause of your breath and the still of your arms, the jump of a heart you're not sure you still possess. "I asked you to make me forget?" you question the world behind his back, and into your neck, he sighs.
"You couldn't forget," he murmurs. "She was dead before I found you, and when I took her from your arms - you couldn't forget. There was nothing I could do to fix what had been broken. And then you begged me to let you forget, so I remembered her for you." He pauses, his throat hitching like he's swallowing something down. A sob maybe, or the tears he will never let fall. "I can't give her back though. She's not here anymore."
You push him upright, your hands on his shoulders, his neck, his face. Brushing away the hair that falls in his eyes, wiping at the blood that drips from the cut on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, because the answer is incomprehensible. "Why did you let me go this far?"
"Because I was scared," he admits, and his teeth clench and his spine stiffens against the urge to hide away from you again. "Because I'm a wretched, evil, stupid thing who thinks they can-"
His words die in your throat; vile, wretched things that you store away to spit out later, into the ground where they belong. He is none of that; he is soft, and hesitant, until your fingers find the sharp curve of his hip and the lines of his back, dragging him closer and his lips open like there is nothing in the world to devour but you and
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luminous-studiess · 1 year
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thinking about how ive always had a hard time writing for school, eg papers.  i cried when i had to write about homer in the 9th grade (stayed up all night and panicked until the focus kicked in at 5 am) this was the first time i’d done classical literature and i didn’t know what i was doing and how to proceed and in second year of college i was thrown into a full-blown depression/anxiety era when i wrote a paper about edgar allan poe and encountered Serious Literary Theory for the first time. one of my groupmates used the words “liminal” and “hypnagogic state” and i knew i was hopelessly out of depth in the literature department and i cried in the hallway in front of my classroom. i was late and it was a terrible paper and i had a panic attack presenting it.  in my third year when i wrote a paper about postcolonial theory and exporting domestic labor and got points docked off of it after i had a panic attack and submitted it late. the same semester i passed a paper on alexander pope a few minutes after the deadline. i was late. the professor asked me if she could include it as sample work for her future students in the course.  and the common threads are that every time i was doing something new and i’m bad at dealing with new things but i am good at picking up on where i went wrong and dealing with constructive criticism and reworking how to write something when i have the balls to put myself out there . i graduated magna cum laude eventually.   and i still feel lost writing this stupid final paper which is basically a mini thesis/disso for law school but u know what. i’ve come to terms with being lost and i’m not the best but i’m scrappy and my footnotes are decent 
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fuzzyunicorn · 2 months
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#black cat supremacy#my fav TikTok comments atm r the ones saying never say lykiri (be calm) 2 a woman & using it on their orange cats has me fuckin’ ded#sorry not sorry I exclusively like war dragons (sorry Syrax)#ooh lawdy guys I’m about 2 craft a war dragon design so good GRRM will hire me#George pls put me in the show w lots of authority anytime any1 is like uh wat do we do??? what do we write 4 this???? omg I’m so lost! I’ll#be like have u ever considered consulting (reading) the books? what does that fuckin’ book say what happened? alright let’s do that!#I would bully the shit out of ur hijackers (how the writers literally write whatever the fuck they want) George is be like did this scene#come from the book? no? oh well then don’t speak at all until u can figure out we need 2 recreate the source material U DUMB FUCKS#oh but the books aren’t finished! no stfu! if u had half a functioning brain it’s not hard 2 c where the plots r going dumbasses & George#is literally alive 2 b consulted WHAT MORE DO U FUCKING WANT? U HAVE NO EXCUSE 4 RUINING HIS WORK#if I was the show writer I’d post a picie of me writing the script w stuffed animals & the books & GRRM as my consultants every1 else remain#in SILENCE! let GRRM go back to writing the scripts (he wrote GOT scripts from season 1-4 & it really shows!)#I hate u Ryan Condal & Sara whatever the fucking fuck ur name is! I don’t care since u ruin GRRM’s stuff! y is every1 so hellbent on ruining#his work???#go ruin ur own shit have the fuck at it not his beaufuilf baby that u all Frankensteined ONCE AGAIN! I’m prob more angry than George & I#had no part in writing the books but I get so angry over it I may as well have. George NEEDS me 2 bully HBO and I’m so ready 4 it
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makkie-is-screaming · 9 months
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Had 2 slices of pie bc I deserve that for listening to the shit my family said
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skibasyndrome · 9 months
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I'm about to throw all my academic values overboard to get this fucking article done
#linguistics are my enemy#not because I don't like the subject#I'm just........ so much less at ease with this than with literary sciene oh my god#I'm so glad I can mostly focus on lit in the future but let me tell you these few linguistics articles I have/had to do have really brought#me to my limit#and I thought I was already fed up and not giving a shit when I did that one article in summer... oh I had NO IDEA how much less of a shit#was capable of giving!!!#the thing is.... I think objectively I'm still? idk not the worst I could technically be doing#like there ARE people who straight up... idk don't even try to have a research question or who don't read more than a handful or articles b#t ugh#I like academic writing so much and I love putting in the work and I love actually getting into the reseach and finding the most important#texts and writing a balanced and well researched article but ugh..... I just feel like I keep reaching my limits with linguistics#and this time is worse than the others because this topic is SO FAR from being standardized and all I can do is ???? mention that there's#like a hundred different models and then just??? choose one and go with it? which is so fucking unsatisfying#but I swear... everybody in this field is just making up a new model that's just different words for the same thing (and not in the /normal#way that science /always/ is about making up a new model. no. this time they are very unnecessarily making up new models)#ugh. everything about this sucks#I should've chosen a different seminar I should've chose a different topic and I especially should've written more of this in summer when I#technically still had a little more time#sorry for blowing up your dash with complaints this festive season lol. I am just having a time (TM) with the different writing tasks on my#hands and I need a place to vent I guess#simon.out.#sounds so drastic btw I'm not about to cheat or plagiarize or anything but I'm about to do so much less of a proper work than I ever wanted#to allow myself to do. cherrypicking and all.
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Watching 11:59 and I can’t believe they just put a literal Hallmark romcom in the middle of Star Trek Voyager down to Shannon hating Christmas/New Years this show is wild
#HEHEHE I'm NOT interested in 'the past' based episodes of Star Trek unless there's alien shit going on#and Tuvok doesn't say anything in this episode :/#a bit boring#but that old man yelling 'JASON! JASON!' reminded me of that Heavy Rain meme#Sorry VOY writers I will /NEVER/ find an old white dude who idolizes the past to be in any way likeable even when you pit him against#a corporate stooge - I just hate em both v_v#I honestly do believe that a Janeway would monologue dramatically to herself in her car - there's just something very Janeway about that and#I'll buy that it's a family trait.#HEHEH this episode is BIZZARE....I really have NO idea why the writers think we'd want to watch this romcom between not-Janeway and an#old ol d man??? HEHEHEH#I love this stupid fucking show <3<3 like EARNESTLY I do <3#WHO thought of this??#I thought for sure it'd be a fanservice thing and the love interest would be played by Chakotay b u tn o it's just SOME GRANDPA??? HHEHEHEHE#HE' S NOT EVEN HOT#T h is is literally a bizzaro hallmark movie where the big corporation wins?? HEHEH#Neelix is so cute in this episode <3 at least he's here if Tuvok's not gonna say a goddamn WORD#He has a really good memory!!! And I like how he was teasing Seven about her having kids but as soon as she looked at him he was like#' O R NO T!! ORNOT!!!' hHEHE...he and Seven arefunny together they are FRIENDS <3#OH sorry my mistake Tuvok's singular line in this episode is#'I concur with that analysis'#-I bludgeon the writers to death-#at least we got some Harry Kim lore!! I liked his story~!!#this could have a been a neat character building episode - like if it was more focused on the entire cast rather than just Janeway#but . WHATEVER. -rueful and irritated smile-#this is still just a 'blah' episode of Voy for me it takes a lot to make me rate a Voyager episode as like..HEHE ACTUALLY bad and not fun#this is 'blah' bc its not fun has no Tuvok but I like the character interactions in the non-past storyline#liveblogging
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godborn · 4 months
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hiiii i’m planning to be around again by the end of this month / start of next 🩷
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agayconcept · 5 months
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#oh for fucks sake#if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g#she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up#which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc#and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour#'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest#b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt#c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit#not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT#i gotta get out of here#this woman is so immensely hateful#ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative#ableism#verbal abuse#ask to tag
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pcktknife · 2 years
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I hope u have fun w/ scarlet !! also sad h.zoroarks aren't found ingame I was hoping to use one :( esp since it's implied they aren't only native to hisui
I'm having fun! it's a little confusing and I'm running all over the place but I'm having fun! 👍 h.zoros are supposed to be available via transfer when scarvi gets hooked up to pokehome next year I heard so I'm v much waiting for that ^^
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ikyw-t · 1 year
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I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............
#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about#ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week#ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating#bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on#and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class#oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread#also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking#about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out#and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march#and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day#bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him#and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent#again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this#feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts#uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose#also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this 😵‍💫
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alethiometry · 2 years
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BOY I WISH YOU COULD BLOCK OR MUTE PEOPLE ON TEAMS
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orcelito · 2 years
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tfw u start a thing going "oh yea this will totally just be a quick one-shot. just a short little thing. of course."
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... im still not done, either.
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29121996 · 24 days
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