#only because i usually hate gross-out humor

[marlenacantswim]

thinking about Freaked (1993) rn. where are my Freaked (1993) fans at? this film to me is like if some guy found a list of all the things i generally like to see in movies and went "ha, so you say, but what if i turned all of them up to eleven and stuffed them into an incredibly cost-ineffective cinematic experience? what then?" and then i genuinely enjoyed it.

[sugrhigh]

FEELINGS MUTUAL - ( c.s. )

summary- you and chris, a d1 lacrosse player, have been good friends since freshman year. he accidentally hurts your feelings one night while youre hanging out, and things escalate as he’s apologizing.

warnings - it’s smut (use of ma included oop) so PLEASE read at ur own risk, if u don’t like it keep scrolling cuz idgaf 🤭

bff!chris x fem!reader

a/n: this is my first one shot on here AHH! i’ll probably be writing more so if you have requests or ideas, pls send them my way xoxo

“i still don’t understand how you predicted most of that within the first thirty minutes.” chris shakes his head, arms crossed as he leans back against the headboard casually.

“i told you, i’ve got it down to a science. all scary movies are practically the same.” you shrug, clutching a pillow to your chest as you lay in his bed.

it’s late now, or early. you’ve been watching movies together all night, just like you usually do during slow weekdays where neither of you have to be up for class, or in his case, practice.

“i wish you didn’t insist on watching them all of the time.” he says.

“aw, is little christina scared?” you tease him with a small grin.

“i hate when you call me that. and nothing about me is little.” chris kicks you with his foot gently, and you nearly roll off of the bed trying to avoid the contact.

“gross.”

“whatever, you’re the one thinking about my dick.”

“i absolutely am not.” you argue, though you feel your cheeks flush.

“keep lying.”

you lift an arm out to smack him in the bicep, and he just laughs. “stop flirting, you slut.”

“if i was flirting, you’d know.” chris smirks, running a hand through his long hair.

“you think you could rizz up the babadook?” you ask, propping yourself up on your elbow to look at him properly.

“oh for sure.”

he doesn’t hesitate before saying it. he even nods his head a little bit in certainty.

“someone’s confident.” you laugh.

“c’mon, i could rizz anybody up.”

“you haven’t managed to do it to me, and we’ve been friends for two years.”

“that’s because i’m not trying to.”

for some reason, this stings a little. chris is a bit notorious for getting around, though it’s not really his fault. as a d1 lacrosse player who also happens to be very attractive, girls come falling at his feet.

you’re just not one of them, and he clearly doesn’t mind. you’re not sure why you even care.

it just makes you feel weird, that you’re the only girl he’s not attracted to for whatever reason. like you’re defective or something.

“right. i forgot you’ll hit on every other girl in the world, just not me.” your voice comes out more sour than intended.

chris looks a bit surprised, eyebrows raising slightly at your tone. “because you’re…you know…you.”

“wow, you really know how to make a girl feel good, huh?” you roll your eyes before turning to lay facing the other direction.

a hand snakes its way to your waist, a familiar sensation that still makes butterflies erupt in your stomach regardless.

“you know i didn’t mean it like that.”

you bury your head further into the pillow, trying to ignore the way his thumb is tracing circles against your hip. “whatever, chris. i get it.”

“you clearly don’t, because you’re all pissy now.” he sighs, breath tickling your skin.

“no i’m not.”

“yes you are.”

“i just want to sleep.” you lie.

chris fully wraps his forearm around your stomach now, tugging you so that your back is flush against his chest. he buries his chin in the crook of your neck, and you can’t help but smile slightly to yourself.

“all i meant is that you’re not those girls. you’re too special.” he says quietly into your ear.

you bite down on your lip to try and keep the grin from growing.

“now you’re just humoring me.”

he shakes his head slightly, stubble scratching at your shoulder in a pleasant way. “i’m not and you know it.”

you’re actually thankful you’re in a tank top, because having his warm skin on yours is nice. you’ve never felt it before, and it kind of makes you nervous.

“do i?” you question.

“you should. you’re the only girl who can get me to watch horror movies with her. the only one who sleeps over, or gets to steal my hoodies—”

“oh please, i know you gave that bitch maddy your sweatshirt. she wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks.” you cut him off.

“okay, she stole that from me and now she won’t give it back, so that’s different.” chris shuts you down quickly.

“if you insist.”

you shift slightly in his arms, and you hear him suck in a breath as you get comfortable.

“don’t do that.” his voice is strained.

“what?” you ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“don’t move like that.”

“i’m not allowed to move now?”

“not when your ass is on me.” his grumbles, and you finally get it.

“oh.”

your response is abnormally high pitched, and you’re not sure what else to say. you’re too terrified to turn even in the slightest.

“who’s scared now, huh?”

you swear he must have gotten closer, because you can almost feel his lips hovering by your earlobe as he speaks. the smile is prominent in his tone.

he’s teasing you, and it spurs a fire in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt with him before. you maneuver your body, and this time you purposely back your ass up against his lap.

you hear him let out a small groan that vibrates against your body, and it nearly makes you shiver.

“not me.” you give him attitude, though you’re practically breathless.

“have you really thought this through?” chris asks, pressing up against you so you can actually feel how hard he is.

you’re already pulsing, and his fingers dance back and forth across your stomach lightly. even with your shirt as a barrier, it’s too nice.

you nod in response, and his hand slides up your arm and over your shoulder, fingernails barely raking against your skin as he goes. chris grips your throat, and you push against him for some sort of friction, for anything.

“tell me you want it.” he demands, squeezing just a bit harder.

“you want it.” you manage to taunt, grabbing his arm and guiding it down your chest to the bottom of your shirt.

his hand slides underneath the tight fabric, back up your stomach, traveling to massage your left tit slowly. his thumb ghosts over your nipple, and you arch your back into him involuntarily.

“fuck.” you gasp quietly.

“no bra, huh? just for me?”

chris twitches against your ass, attaching his lips to your neck hungrily. his tongue slides against the sensitive skin, teeth digging into the flesh where your throat meets your collar.

his hand switches places, and he drags the pads of his fingers across your other nipple in a tantalizing pattern. the sensation of his touch and his mouth at the same time is bliss, and you let out a moan of pleasure.

“always wondered what you sounded like, you fuckin angel.” he praises, grinding his hips against you.

just feeling his length, pressing right against your core through the fabric of your yoga pants, makes you incredibly wet. he’d be shocked to find you’re not wearing underwear either.

you guide his hand back out from underneath your shirt so you can flip over again, sitting up slightly as you move to straddle him. he’s already bucking up into you, whining from the feeling of being underneath your hips.

“don’t tease me. i’ve waited too long for this.” chris pulls your arm down so he can give you an actual kiss.

his lips are soft, molding against yours desperately as his hands grip your ass. you rock against him as his tongue slides against yours, and he groans into your mouth.

“god, i love hearing that.” you admit against his lips.

you pull away so you can lift his shirt over his head, trailing your long manicured nails down his chest slowly, right along his happy trail. he throws his head back against the pillows, relishing in the feeling.

you can tell he’s growing frustrated though, and suddenly he grabs you by your waist, throwing you down so your back hits the mattress.

chris helps you out of your top like it’s a race, tossing it to the floor with his other clothes. he positions himself over you, capturing your lips with his hungrily.

you bring your hands up; one tugging at the curly strands of hair on the back of his neck, the other clawing at his back.

he likes this, smiling into you before biting down on your bottom lip harshly. chris pulls away, pressing kisses down your throat, down the valley of your chest, but not without moving his tongue back and forth against each nipple at least a few times.

it makes you writhe, hands tangling in his sheets as he continues.

“jesus, chris.” you’re basically whimpering.

he stops right at the top of your leggings, looking up at you from between your thighs like he’s asking for permission.

you lift your hips as an answer, and he tugs the slick material down over your feet. the air hits you, and you can feel how embarrassingly ready you are.

chris lowers himself to you again, pushing your legs apart with both palms.

“you’re so pretty, ma. so fucking wet for me, too.” he mumbles, kissing and nipping at your hip, down your inner thigh, right next to where you need him most.

ma. he’s never called you that before, and you like it way more than you should.

without warning, he slides his tongue flat against your pussy in one long stripe. his lips come down around your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue against it slowly.

“holy shit—” you gasp, and your fingers tangle in his hair again, tugging at his roots as he buries his face further.

you’d been given head before, but it never actually felt good until now. chris’s fingers grip your thighs as he continues to force them apart, tongue moving up and down against your center at a faster pace now.

you can feel the pressure building, but you know you want more. you want to make him feel good too.

“oh my god baby.” the pet name slips out without even thinking, your head is so fuzzy with pleasure.

“fuck, call me that again.” he pulls away just enough to speak coherently.

“i need you inside me, baby, please.” you beg desperately.

“so ready for me, so eager.” he practically growls, sitting up so he can yank off his sweatpants, tugging his boxers down with them.

his dick is just as big as it felt, definitely the biggest you’ve seen in person, which is a little scary. he puts a hand to your mouth, turning your head to the side slightly.

“spit.”

fuck, this is hot.

you happily do as your told, and he pulls his hand back to spread it around his dick. his other arm goes to prop your one leg up as he aligns himself at your entrance.

chris pushes in slowly, and you both let out a long moan at the same time. you can feel him stretching you, and it takes a minute for you to adjust to his full length.

“fuck…” he says in that breathy voice you love so much.

he moves out, then back in, steadily picking up his pace as you get more comfortable. you have to give it to him, the kid knows how to use his hips.

“mmm…you feel so good around me,” chris grumbles, lifting your leg a little higher.

he hits a new spot, and it sends delicious waves of pleasure through your body.

“yes, right there!” your eyes screw shut, and his free hand goes to reach for your tits.

“fuck ma, i can feel you squeezing. taking it just like a good girl.”

such a pretty mouth saying such dirty things, things you didn’t think you’d ever in a million years hear from your friend. and yet, it feels exactly like it should.

he’s practically pounding into you now, and the little noises he makes drive you crazy. his free hand shifts so his thumb rubs against your clit, and you feel your core seize up.

“chris!” you cry out, and that damn smirk crosses his face again.

“tell em, angel. tell them exactly who you want.”

his fingers feel so good combined with his strokes, and this time the building pressure in your stomach is too much. you know you don’t have a lot longer left as your body begins to shudder.

“fuck, chris, i’m so close—”

“just a little longer, hang on for me.” he says, movements growing sloppier as he reaches his own peak.

his nails dig into the skin of your thigh, a bit of pain that is not unwelcomed. chris circles his other fingers around you faster, and you let out an even louder gasp.

“i’m—”

“fuck, me too. come on baby, come all over me.” he cuts you off, and you feel him twitch inside of you as he finishes with a groan.

“shit!” you ride out your own high, releasing onto his dick as he slows to a stop. you’re both completely breathless and sweaty as he pulls out, and you immediately feel at loss.

he leans down to give you a little peck before collapsing beside you.

“i’ve seriously dreamed about that so many times.” chris says, arm splayed across his chest as he stares into your eyes.

you cover your face with your hands in embarrassment. “stop it.”

he’s quiet for a moment, and you peek through your fingers to look at him.

“you know this means more to me, right? you mean more to me.” he speaks softly, like he’s scared of how you’ll react.

you finally reveal yourself again, smiling more widely than you’d care to admit.

“good, cuz the feelings mutual.”

[ufopigeon]

to the random ass proshippers

I’ll block proshippers and I won’t throw any first punches if I find the accounts. Just block n’ move on. Think what you want, but think it away from me. This is for the ppl who are going after others both anonymously and in the open, and being insistent about misunderstanding his character. It is absolutely absurd that some are really trying to PUSH the mere implication that the Postal Dude could be a pedo/have pedophilic tendencies, or that “it makes sense for him”. Some of you are ragebait I’m sure, but I also sadly think some of you are really genuine. And this is also the last I am going to speak about it. Just wanted to do something longer on behalf of everyone else who does not agree with this random influx.

The Postal Dude is obviously designed to be an ambiguous character, allowing players to project various characteristics onto him. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that any and all negative traits can be justified. Ambiguity in character design is meant to give freedom in interpretation, but it doesn't equate to carte blanche for projecting extreme or inappropriate characteristics that aren't supported by the game’s narrative or the developer's intent. Assuming that a character would commit any and all bad acts simply because they commit some is a lazy and inaccurate approach to understanding character design.

The argument that, "Durrr he’s literally a mass shooter, why is it so far-fetched for him to be a pedo too?" is a slippery slope fallacy. It’s that same exact shit all the edgelords try to use when they say (just so they can justify attacking any queer fans, same way SOME proshippers want to feel justified in attacking those who disagree), “The Postal Dude SPECIFICALLY hates gay people and trans people and wouldn’t support them at all/be grossed out by them! Why? Uhh, because he’s literally an evil, vile character! Duh!” Sure he is. No denying that. And sure, you can think that about him. But it’s just fundamentally inaccurate. Just because the games allow for extreme behaviors doesn’t mean they endorse or include every possible immoral action.

And just because a character engages in morally questionable actions doesn’t logically lead to them engaging in the worst possible behaviors. The creator's stance is crucial in defining the boundaries of the character. If the creators have explicitly stated that Postal Dude would never engage in pedophilia (just like how they explicitly stated he wasnt transphobic) and that such content would never be included in the game, this is a definitive limitation on what the character can be reasonably interpreted as. Again, I don’t care if you hold a private opinion that differs. But when you start accusing those who disagree with this extreme interpretation of being the weird or wrong ones, that’s where it becomes an issue.

Dude's actions, while extreme, are presented within a certain context that aims to criticize or mock certain aspects of society. Pedophilia is not something that fits within this satirical style. Yes, even for Postal 1997. I don't care if it is generally considered more "serious" than other games, they still had Dude throwing out stupid-ass catchphrases in a silly radio-host-sounding voice that was obviously supposed to be a stark contrast to what was happening on screen (“Buttsauce”. “Smells like chicken” when burning NPCs. Really now? Go ahead and listen to more from the original. They’re all silly one-liners.). It was a shock at the time and a bit of dark humor. Following games only increased this aspect.

All in all, Postal Dude’s actions, while immoral, are usually presented in a way that allows for some level of detachment or absurdity, keeping them within the realm of dark comedy. Yes, 1997 is still included here. It’s an absurd game. One man took out hundreds of people and was armed to the teeth, even with literal rocket launchers. His main weapon has infinite ammunition. It was an obviously over-the-top video game with a loose connection to reality and an even looser message about “something something mental health and everyone has it in them to go postal”. It was a game made to shock people. Pedophilia, however, is universally considered an irredeemable act, something that cannot be framed in any context that would make it acceptable or even darkly humorous. The distinction between immoral and irredeemable acts is crucial here. The Postal Dude can be morally ambiguous, but crossing into irredeemable territory would fundamentally alter the character in a way that the game and its creators/99.9% of the fans do not support.

Also: “But muh 1997 promo art where it says his girlfriend was 17!! She says they just started dating 3 weeks ago!!” Yeah. The same photo was used with the girl also saying, “It was so weird. He told everyone I was his girlfriend, but I only met him once.” It says “live” near the bottom corner, implying this was an interview with the girl AFTER the crimes had taken place. In the promotional pic where it states she’s 17, it also says she DIED of third degree burns while he was on his rampage. Now that doesn’t really add up, does it. How can this girl give an interview after everything is said and done while also dying in the middle of his killing spree?

AKA, these promotional photos were reused over and over because they were on a budget and really not thinking about it, and are absolutely not valid for legit storytelling purposes at all. RWS has even said this themselves.

[hannie-dul-set]

sorry but golden retriever sungchan x black cat reader is the only canon option! if you write a blurb on this pls i will actually kiss you in the mouth (ily btw)

[man on a mission]. jung sungchan has taken it upon himself to make you laugh at least once a day.

“you’re so fucking lame,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes, sitting in front of him at the cafeteria while he has two chopsticks sticking out of his nose. “gross,” you say, but the slight quirk of your lips and the way you quickly reach for your iced lemonade to cover it up makes him pump his fist in the air in victory— even at the expense of his image.

“ha! you laughed! i win.”

his other friends ask him why he even bothers. or, in the words of anton, “hyung, why are you so hell bent on making a fool out of yourself at least once a day?” but his motivations go beyond the selfish desire of proving that his sense of humor can even penetrate the moody and scary (i.e. you). sungchan has made is a mission to make you laugh every single day because of one single reason.

sungchan is simply sick and tired of people talking shit about you.

“it’s ridiculous!” he huffs, slamming both fists on the table after anton asked him the question. “they don’t even know them that well!” yet those same people call you bossy, call you a stick in the mud, temperamental and so on and so forth— which, sungchan has to admit isn’t all wrong. you’re always scowling or glaring or telling people off, but your love language is violence and words needled with spikes. sungchan is the only with enough fluency to see the tenderness in your light punches and your eloquent “fuck you’s” straight to his face.

no, he doesn’t want you to change. he doesn’t want you to soften up your edges just because of the thoughtless impressions of a couple dozen unimportant people. 

but it won’t hurt to see you laughing ever so often, right?

“oh my god, stop it,” you wheeze, hands pressed tightly to your face after sungchan shows you a dumb tiktok video he just saw, then imitating it with just as much grace and passion, causing you to snort out loud and burst into a fit. “fuck’s sake, i hate you so much.”

once more, mission accomplished. he forced you to tag along with his friends for dinner today, so that was a necessary move to break the ice— especially because anton is kind of afraid of you. seeing you out of your usual resting bitch face should ease their intimidation, and jung sungchan is proud of himself for a job well done seeing shotaro having a passionate discussion about a manga you’ve both read.

“no way, i couldn’t find a copy anywhere! can you lend it to me?”

there’s  a swell of pride in his chest seeing you talk so easily with someone else other than him. it’s nice to see other people finally seeing you in the same light as he had for the past couple of years. pride. yes. that’s exactly and the only thing he’s feeling right now.

“hey.”

but as your conversation with taro lengthens that you haven’t looked at him since laughing at his joke, and as eunseok discreetly calls his attention while staring at you from across the table with a look in his eyes that’s all too familiar— almost as if he’s looking straight at a mirror—sungchan thinks that maybe he should abort his mission.

“your friend has a pretty smile.”

he knows. he’s been trying to get everyone else to see it all this time.

[alphyser]

Random things in my MHA DR about 1-A!

Mineta was originally part of the class, however during the quirk apprehension test at the start, he got the lowest score and that Aizawa noticed him acting creepy so he acted on his threat to expel someone and gave Mineta the boot. That way, it'd also serve as a warning to others.

Mineta was actually hilarious though on first day. Actually made me crack up a lot, especially since I also have a dirty sense of humor. But then he he tried to peek under Yaomomo's skirt and the illusion was shattered. (For a moment I thought he could've been great </3)

I unironically voted for Sero during the class rep elections. Him and Yaomomo had a tie and he dropped out of the nominations saying that Yaoyorozu should be the vice-representative for 1-A over him. (Sero is such a sweet soul in my DR.)

Bakugo Katsuki, despite having fashion designers for parents, only ever dresses in the most basic clothing. Black compression shirts and sweatpants are his go to and when he feels like it he sometimes wears graphic tees and jeans. But he also criticizes others a lot on their fashion sense. (He one time straight up scolded Mina for an hour because she wore a shade of yellow that didn't go with her skin tone.)

Sato, without fail, will always have a box of some type of sweets on him. Man is a god send. He brings like this little lunchbag and he has two tupperwares of sweets. One time he had these donuts and each of them were a cool new flavor I've never seen before, like a raspberry donut with candied bacon, it sounds gross but he makes it taste good somehow.

Most Sundays, Aoyama usually goes out to visit this stray kitten in a park near U.A. He feeds all the time too. He has little cat treats in his bag always. He doesn't even like cats that much, but he sees himself in the kitty. Weak and can't do anything about it (Aoyama deserves better.)

Sero makes the MEANEST avocado salads ever. Like actually godsent. It's avocados, tomatoes, red onions, bell peppers, cucumbers, cilantro, parsley, garlic, black beans, jalapeno, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and white pepper, and queso fresco all tossed together. (Yes, I memorized the recipe because I wanted to make it in my CR 😭)

Oddly enough, Koda sleeps really loudly. Like he snores, talks in his sleep, grinds his teeth, even clears his throat sometimes. He fell asleep in the common room once on a sat evening watching Princess and the Frog with Tsu and my god, everyone in the first floor could hear it, even on the second floor only it was a little more muffled.

Iida dresses wrong. Not bad, wrong. He doesn't dress ugly, in fact he's one of the most well dressed in 1-A. The issue is, he never knows what outfit for when so he either always ends up overdressed or underdressed. We went out to get groceries and he was wearing a first date outfit (He looked fine asf but like for groceries?? 😭)

I don't know how it happened but for some reason, Monoma and Yaomomo are friends. Like not frenemies or just acquaintances. Like real actual friends. They hang out sometimes and gossip with Kendo. He even tones down the 1-A hate passion canon in her presence, it's actually amazing to see.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiii :3 and could you do Kate laswell and könig with a reader who loved cuddles?

Hey there! Sure I can! But I don't write Laswell as very cuddly! But I made König's a bit longer to try and make up for it, hope that's alright!

Laswell and König with a Cuddly!Reader

Laswell: If you love cuddles then she’s the wrong person to ask for some, sorry. Sometimes she doesn’t mind them, sometimes she absolutely hates being touched. It’s very rare for her to initiate anything more than just a kiss to your cheek or a hand on your back for a short amount of time. Laswell genuinely is not a cuddly person, at all. Sometimes, on a good day, she might oblige if you ask her to. However, even then your cuddle sessions won’t be too long. And if I were you then I wouldn’t force her to cuddle you either, she’ll get snappy if you do. Your relationship is built on mutual trust and respect. You’re violating her boundaries if you force her to cuddle. Sorry, but that’s just how I’ve been writing her.

König: He’s not too fond of cuddles either, but he makes exceptions for his S/O. If you’re his S/O, that’s great! You can ask him for some cuddles and he���ll only very rarely say no to you. It’s usually when he’s busy that he’ll say no, but any other time? He’s free game. Again, you’re the only person he’s somewhat cuddly with. However, unlike Laswell, he sometimes will ask you for some cuddles himself. Sometimes even the big guy needs to hold someone, or even be held. I’ve said it before, but if you’re roughly the same size as him, or even taller than him, then he might hint at wanting to be held from time to time as well. But other than that, he’ll humor you. You can cuddle in any position you want, but he refuses to lie down on top of you. Even when you’re the same size as him, he won’t do it. König is aware he’s a very heavy lad, so he really doesn’t want to crush you. But if you wanna lie on top of him, then you can go right ahead, he really doesn’t mind. In those cases he actually quite likes it when you’re shorter than he is, because in that case you can lie on top of him in your entirety. He’ll wrap his arms around you, sometimes he’ll kiss the top of your head as well. Spooning with him is pretty nice. He’s a strong guy, and a warm one at that as well. Don’t ask him to cuddle you in summer, though, as he gets sweaty fairly easily and doesn’t want to gross you out. Besides, he also doesn’t want to sweat bullets just because you’re clinging to him. But you’re more than welcome to just plop down in his lap during any other season and nuzzle into him. He’ll call you “meine kleine Schmusekatze” or, if you’re being especially clingy, “mein kleines Schmusebärchen”. I think that eventually, when he comes home from an especially rough mission, he actually kind of looks forward to holding you. It’s not that unlikely that you might get hurt because of him, so it’s nice to get to hold you and make sure you’re safe within his arms. Sometimes, while you’re cuddling, he’ll tease you by speaking his dialect. He’s saying no mean things, though. It’s either how cute you are, how you can’t understand him, or just some random things he thought of at the moment. Even if you know German he’ll lay his dialect on extra thick so you can’t actually understand him.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Stein NSFW Alphabet Headcanons (Minors Don’t Interact)

Warnings: NSFW (Minors go away!), fem-reader, rough sex, pain play 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You’re definitely going to need some aftercare after tangoing with this guy. Stein may seem like the type to just leave you to care for yourself, but he’s pretty considerate. He’ll check you for marks (or possible cuts) and bring you a drink. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He enjoys his entire body because it’s all a potential experiment subject to him, and the same goes for you. If he was forced to pick, it would probably be your lower back and ass. He loves to place his hands on this area a lot, and he’ll grab your ass at unexpected times to tease you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

LOVES cumming on your tits. It looks so ravishing to him. Sometimes he enjoys doing it on your ass, too. His cum is actually pretty discolored and gross tasting. He’s a smoker after all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I’m sure this is a no-brainer, but this man has a deep desire to dissect everything and anything. You are no exception. As much as he cares about you, he wants to dismember you so fucking bad. It turns him on just thinking about it. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Fairly experienced. His experience mostly comes from the couple of partners that he’s had and even some one-night stands. He knows what he’s doing for sure. He’s very meticulous with his technique. It comes pretty natural to him, you’ll be cumming sooner than you’d expect with this guy. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s tall as fuck, so either doggy or girl on-top is the best for him. Missionary is really awkward and essentially impossible because of his height. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He likes to poke fun at you all the goddamn time and will tease you all throughout it. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims it a little but doesn’t shave all the way. It’s grey like his hair, maybe a little darker in shade. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Honestly not very intimate. He’s the type that’s straightforward and likes to get down to business.  He’ll get a little sensual for sure, but he’s not romantic.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does it an average amount. He’s a little too focused on work or his experiments to think about jacking off but if he’s feeling horny he’ll whip it out and get the job done. Usually, he doesn’t need porn, but he has some pretty wild fantasies when he’s jacking off. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

There are two big kinks of his. 

One is knife play. With his little dissection fetish, this comes as no surprise. But he KNOWS that most people aren’t going to want to be cut open when having sex. He’ll compromise by simply fucking the life out of you instead. In his mind he’s rearranging your insides, which is close enough. 

The second is doctor/patient roleplay. Of course, he’s the doctor. He likes using it as an excuse to grope your body and uh..inspect you. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His lab, of course. Usually on his desk. He loves pounding you so hard that his supplies fall off. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You alone do, and especially if you tease him. Wear something skimpy and he’s inside of you in an instant. Showing off your skin makes him want to dissect you so fucking bad. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s game for pretty much anything, but he will not do anything involving scat. That’s just fucking nasty.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes receiving more. Seeing you choke on his cock is so beautiful to him. He’ll reciprocate, though. Kinda hates it only because he can’t smoke when he’s doing it, but your juices and scent are enough to sell him into doing it. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s pretty rough, to be honest. But he’s not just fast for the sake of it. He likes pumping in and out deep to make sure that he can thoroughly feel your pussy. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Appreciates quickies a lot, but he likes a thorough experiment, too. Quickies often come when he’s in a rush to get to class, or just wants a quick orgasm. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Risk? Experiment? Sign him the fuck up. He’ll fuck you however you’d like. He loves trying new things and fucking you in so many different ways. The only thing he wouldn’t risk is doing it in the classroom. He doesn’t want his students to see that. He admittedly would find it humorous if Spirit walked in on you two, though. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for some time. His refractory period is actually relatively quick, so he’ll go for maybe two or three rounds if you guys are feeling up to it. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He owns quite a bit, actually. He uses them on you more than himself, though. His personal favorites are nipple clamps and vibrators. Anything that provides you with optimal stimulation. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you so much. He’ll have you waiting a whole fucking day sometimes, saying seductive things to you, telling you how sexy you are, but he won’t touch you until HE wants to. He’ll have you begging. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not loud, but he’ll produce some grunts. If he’s feeling very good you’ll get a few moans from him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’d love you if you let him ash on your ass.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s a big guy. About 7 inches, and kinda thick as well. He has some veins going on, too. Also, he has a stitch around his cock. His penis isn’t excluded from his experiments. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average. Sometimes it really depends on where he is mentally. When he’s losing touch with reality, his sex drive is understandably pretty low. When he’s at base-line though, he’s pretty much game to fuck whenever you are. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t really get tired after cumming, you’ll have to persuade him to go to bed with you. 

[cosmickvi]

Praise Kink 🦊🐧 18+

Written for day 3 of Kvigust!

If there was anything that all idols shared, it was the fact that they were constantly hyper aware of themselves. Appearance, attitude, tone, personality, voice, skill, humor, etc. It was exhausting. Kai wasn’t usually prone to being kept up at night from insecure thoughts, but it was becoming more frequent. He caught himself being an internal bully about everything he did. His thoughts repeated insults and worries in endless circles that drove him mad. All he wanted was for it to just stop. He was at the end of his rope and knew that if he didn’t do what he usually did to release these pent up feelings, he would resort to something bad. Something he used to do before finding the safety and security of his headspace.

One night, after an especially brutal loop of self loathing, Kai sought out one of his hyungs. He needed their strong hands to hold his wrists down and their soft voices to play with his mind. He needed to be taken care, yet put in place. It was the only thing he desired. So, Kai exited his hotel room and walked to the door directly across from his own. He put his ear to the dark wood to listen for any snores. If Yeonjun was asleep he would seek out Soobin or Beomgyu instead. A moment later, he hesitantly knocked on the door when there was no sign of sleep.

“Hm? Why aren’t you in bed? Do I need to tuck you in?” Yeonjun grumbled, appearing in the doorway after opening it up. He wasn’t sleeping, but he wasn’t exactly awake either.

“Uhm- I need…you.” Kai murmured. He could feel the punches his thoughts threw at him.

‘He doesn’t want you here. He doesn’t like you. This is stupid. Deal with it yourself. Such a creep. Gross. Ugly. No one wants you.’

“Kai-ah? Hey, come here.” Yeonjun said, as he watched Kai’s eyes avoiding his own and filling with tears. He grabbed his elbow and ushered him inside and over to the bed.

Kai sniveled, sitting up by the headboard with his legs pulled to his chest so he could hide his face in his knees. Yeonjun sat beside him, silently coaxing him to open up. He pet his hair, leant on his shoulder and rubbed his back until Kai was no longer crying. What he didn’t expect was for him to jump up and run into the bathroom, locking the door. Yeonjun didn’t get up right away. He just listened for anything strange. There was nothing but the sound of running water.

“Oh dear…” The oldest sighed. He knew what Kai was doing. Whenever he cried or broke down without intending to, Kai would always flee to the nearest sink to rinse his face off with cold water. He hated crying in front of people. So much so, that he didn’t even want to look like he had been crying once he was calm again. Eventually, the bathroom door eased open and Kai stood by the bed.

“H-Hyung…can we do that- that thing.” Kai asked meekly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Yeonjun tilted his head and hummed inquisitively.

“What thing?” He asked.

“The thing…yknow, like t-take care of me. But, in a different way…” Kai mumbled. A lightbulb practically popped up over Yeonjun’s head.

“Oh! You mean get you into subspace for awhile?” He clarified. Kai nodded shyly.

Yeonjun crawled to the end of the bed and took Kai’s hand, pulling him back on to the bed. They didn’t need to go over ‘why’ Kai was asking for it because he already knew. The negative thoughts were at it again inside his head and he needed help escaping them. Yeonjun was proud of Kai for coming directly to him instead of burying it down until it came out explosively in an inappropriate setting. In the past that had happened.

They would never forget when they were backstage at an award show, two thirds of the way through the night, when Kai interpreted a flat facial expression sent his way as one of disgust. It lit the fuse to the bomb. He dropped to the floor of the small room they had to be in and sobbed uncontrollably. He started wailing about how much he hated himself, that he was the worst person on Earth. He begged for Yeonjun and Soobin to make it stop, referring to them both as “Daddy” in front of multiple staff members. It was a mess they all learned from.

So, without further hesitation, Yeonjun cupped Kai’s cheek and gave his forehead a soft kiss. It had been a long time since they had a chance to be so close.

“I’ll take care you, baby. Just tell me if you want to stop, okay?” Yeonjun whispered.

“Mhm.” Kai mumbled, already feeling a little lost within the close contact of their bodies.

“Good boy. Now, take all this off and lay down for me.”

Kai nodded silently, his heart fluttering from the first praise of the night. He followed Yeonjun’s directions and removed all of his clothing, leaving nothing between his skin and the silky bed sheets. Yeonjun removed only his shirt to make Kai feel less exposed and laid down on his side next to him, hooking one leg over Kai’s thigh. He started by running his hand over his plush chest, avoiding his perked up nipples and leaving wet kisses along his jaw and down his blushing neck. Kai inhaled shakily, his body quickly warming up and responding to the touches.

“Hmm, already getting hard? Just for me?” Yeonjun murmured against his ear. Kai nodded and glanced down at his cock. It was starting to swell up on its own, resting partially on the top of high thigh.

It twitched when Yeonjun flicked his nipples, and squished them between his fingertips. Yeonjun chuckled and nipped the edge of his ear, dragging his hand down from his chest, over his stomach, and down further to his balls. He held them lightly for a second before nudging them out of the way so he prod at his perineum. Kai parted his legs slightly, not missing the pressure of Yeonjun’s own half hard cock pushing harder into his thigh.

“I didn’t even have to ask. So smart, baby.”

Kai continued to let himself relax under Yeonjun’s careful touches, but he still felt too close to the surface of his normal conscious. He wanted to be drowning in Yeonjun’s voice, following every direction, earning the reward soon to come. It was harder to let go when Yeonjun was so focused on making his body feel good, accidentally going quiet.

“I- I want you to talk more…please.” Kai requested bashfully.

“Need some taking down?” Yeonjun asked thoughtfully.

“Yeah. Jus’ still thinking too much.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Those thoughts won’t be around much longer.“

Kai felt Yeonjun pull away to settle himself between his legs instead. His hands massaged the soft combination of fat and muscle built up upon his bones, as he wet his tongue before taking Kai’s cock into his mouth. He moved his tongue lazily along the underside of his shaft and bobbed his head slowly. Kai’s cock wasn’t larger than his own, so Yeonjun didn’t even blink when his hips bucked harshly and pushed it further into his mouth. Kai hissed, now fully hard and grabbed a fistful of Yeonjun’s hair. Yeonjun batted his hand away and pulled off, making Kai whine pathetically.

“You’re not in charge, mister. Aww, look how flustered your face is, tears already in your eyes. You’re my good little boy, aren't you? so obedient just for me, letting me do anything i want to.” Yeonjun purred, absentmindedly spreading his salvia around Kai’s dick with his hand.

“Yes, M’good.” Kai mewled.

“That’s right, now let Hyung taste you for awhile.” That didn’t sound right to Kai.

“Not Hyungie…just Daddy.” Yeonjun smirked at those words and chuckled, going right back to suck him off.

“Then be a good boy and watch Daddy.

Kai’s breaths steadily grew faster and lighter, his belly clenching and jumping everytime Yeonjun swallowed. He watched with half lidded eyes, occasionally lifting his head up from the pillows to get a better look at the man between his legs, only to dramatically drop it back. Kai’s thoughts blurred into a mess of spilled ink, as Yeonjun finally filled up his mind. He brought him all the way to the brink of an orgasm, and suddenly pulled away completely, making a cock ring with his fingers around the base of his dick.

“Ennhhh! D-Daddy noooo!” He moaned loudly, groaning and panting.

“Did you think I was going to let you cum? I don’t think you’ve earned it yet, baby. If you’re good, like I know you can be, Daddy will let you cum.” Yeonjun explained tantalizingly. He ignored Kai’s protests and shoved his fingers into his mouth. Kai instantly sucked them, like it was second nature, and got them drenched for him.

“Knees up and apart. There you go.”

Yeonjun took both wet fingers and pressed the tips of them against Kai’s hole, moaning in the back of his throat at the sight of Kai arching his back in an attempt to get them inside faster. He licked a strip up his reddening cock, and applied more pressure until they breached the tight muscle. Kai practically sobbed, toes curling into the mattress from the burn. He could take it. He knew he could take it. He was going to be a good boy, a perfect boy.

“Just relax, let that cute hole of yours loosen up a little. You’re doing so well.” Yeonjun praised, kissing the side of his thigh.

“Daddy~” Kai squealed, his dick leaking as he was suddenly pulled back into the boiling of being milliseconds away from coming.

“You sound so beautiful, baby. Take my fingers a little more, you can do it. Don’t cum, yet…Good boys do what they’re told.” Yeonjun challenged him. He could feel Kai’s muscles spasming throughout the lower half of his body, but he wanted to see how much longer he could hold back.

Kai snapped his thighs closed, only for Yeonjun to block them with his broad shoulders. He tsked, but didn’t take his away his hands. Kai whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut. Yeonjun slid his fingers halfway out and pushed them back in at an angle to make Kai yelp. He was so warm inside, practically on fire. Yeonjun would fuck him dumb if he had the energy, but this wasn’t about him. This was about making Kai feel special and loved.

“Ahh! Oh my god!!” Kai groaned from the way Yeonjun picked up the pace of his hand, properly fingering him. Tears rolled down the sides of his head and into his ears, but he hardly noticed. He was long gone.

“Good job, doing so good for me. So pretty and sexy. Feels good? Yeah? I want to see you cum, baby. I want to feel you cum in my mouth.” Yeonjun said, spitting on his fingers to keep them slick before slotting Kai’s cock between his lips again.

Kai unabashedly thrust his hips up into Yeonjun hot mouth, effectively fucking his throat while fucking himself down harder on his fingers. He wasn’t even coherent anymore, blubbering nonsense and letting out whiny cries over and over again. All he could focus on was the intensity flaming inside his body, screaming to explode. It nearly started to drive him crazy, but right before it could, he was arching his back and flooding Yeonjun’s mouth full of cum.

“AH-Hh! Mhnn! Mn! Mmhmm! Ahh! D-Da”

Yeonjun diligently worked him through his orgasm, leaving him trembling like a leaf as he swallowed the entirety of his load. He carefully removed his fingers from Kai’s hole and helped his baby sit up. Kai was basically jelly, whimpering and crying from the after shocks, as he felt Yeonjun holding him against his chest.

“Shhhh, I’ve got you. Daddy’s not going anywhere, baby. You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you…well, I’m always proud of you.” He soothed gently, going as far as rocking him and Kai side to side.

“You’re such a good listener, made all those sounds I love, too.” He whispered.

Yeonjun gave Kai the time he needed to properly catch his breath all while showering him in endless praise, which felt like sunshine on the boys skin. Kai basked in it; mindlessly soaking in the love radiating from his hyung. He felt safe, protected, and relieved. Yeonjun’s arms were there to hold him as long as he needed him to, or to pick him back up when he fell.

“Hm…Hyungie sleepy.” Kai murmured after calming down a significant amount and slowly returning to his senses.

“I bet!” Yeonjun chuckled. “Only good boys get this tired after coming, hm?”

“Only good boys.” Kai agreed, already nodding off.

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Some people in the MLAATR fandom act like Sheldon is irredeemably creepy or gross or manipulative, and then uses examples of behavior that happens with all of the characters because it's an exaggerated children's cartoon.

Exhibit A:

To me, this is the same logic as saying "Jon Arbuckle is an animal abuser" because he lets Garfield drink coffee and sometimes puts him on a diet of a single lettuce leaf (I read the Jon Arbuckle hateblog for a laugh sometimes). Yes, obviously irl this would make someone an animal abuser, but in the silly world of Garfield these are just signifiers that the human reader, who might drink coffee or be on a diet that they hate, is supposed to relate to Garfield. Neither of these actually foods hurt him in the comic. Garfield eats entire trays of lasagna for crying out loud! Jim Davis even describes Garfield as being more like "a person in a cat suit" than a real cat. If we put the actions back in the context of the comic strip, Jon Arbuckle is just a pet owner who sometimes acts as a parent to a child, other times acts as Garfield's friend or roommate, and is kind of a dork but generally a good guy. Garfield and Odie's family.

Likewise, the world of MLAATR operates on cartoon/sitcom logic. Very often the characters will resort to lying, trickery, disguises, being aggressively friendly, etc. as ways to keep the plot and jokes rolling. I'm pretty sure every character has done this at some point, because of the humor potential. These are not meant to be looked at as abusive behaviors. You can usually judge how harsh the actions were based on other characters' reactions and how quick they are to forgive at the end rather than applying real-world relationship logic.

This is not to say that the writing is infallible or unable to be criticized because "it's just a kid's cartoon!" (I hate that argument, it's usually meant to silence people and that's not what I'm trying to do). Yes, cartoons can screw up in their messages, and you might be able to argue that maybe this writing style makes all of the characters bad role models for children. But if this is how you judge Sheldon, it's only fair to hold all the other characters in the same standards, including Jenny herself.

It bothers me that Sheldon gets the bad rep in the fandom because as an autistic person, especially when I was an autistic child, I related to both Jenny and Sheldon and their struggles in communicating/socializing in a world that glorifies popularity and being "normal" and hurts the weirdos to get them to conform. So it hurts on a personal level to see Sheldon get hated to such a high degree, and to hear people say Sheldon and Jenny would be an inherently unhealthy relationship, just because Sheldon can have some boundary issues and lack of social skills. I know people aren't saying this to villainize autistic traits, but that's how it can feel to me.

I could also get into how the show hinted that Jenny was at least a little curious about a relationship with Sheldon and that she might have gone for it if not for her fatal flaw in trying to seek popularity, but I'll save that for another post. This isn't meant to shame those who dont like the Jenny and Sheldon ship, but to give an alternative perspective to the whole "Sheldon is creepy!" thing I keep seeing in the fandom.

[owmylasagna-blog]

You know, despite Nazz being the most bland and forgettable of the kids, I also think she's (ironically) the most versatile at the same time. She might be both a tomboy and a girly girl, she fits in two trios (sometimes she's hanging out with Kevin and Rolf, sometimes she's hanging out with Sarah and Jimmy- something that hardly applies to the other characters), she has a fair share of interests (sports, studying law, fashion, music, math according to her report card) and actually a good jokes and gags (she eats A LOT, she's poor in music, and according to ''Mission-Ed Possible'' she's also bad in cooking). There so much directions they could took with her... and she's the only nice girl on the show.

I guess since most of the writers were men, they preferred or were more comfortable writing for male characters most of time (or they just assumed most of the target public/audience were boys, like usually happened in that time).

Yeah I actually like Nazz as a character and of all the kids on the show she is absolutely the most pleasant one to be around! Unfortunately given the high octane slapstick, exaggerated personalities, and overall humor of the show she sort of gets lost. Nazz functions to fit some role in service of the plot rather than plots being driven by some key aspect of her personality or interests. Which as a side character makes some sense but I feel like each of the side characters get their moments to shine! When we get a Nazz focused episode it’s really more about how all the boys feel about her. Nazz’s desires, motives, history, and perspective aren’t super fleshed out which is my main critique.

For a show about the awkwardness of puberty she is astoundingly well adjusted. I always assumed she was slightly older than the Eds so maybe 13-14? She’s inexplicably very mature. I kind of wish we got a sense of why that was the case! Like, we know Edd is the responsible one in his respective trio because he has to an extremely independent kid at home (and has mad anxiety). I don’t know what drives Nazz to be thoughtful, kind, and relatively more mature. Does anyone else? In the series bible she is described as “most mature of the kids, or so she thinks” and man do I want to know more what that means! Like maybe she should have been shown being more self conscious about wanting to seem older/ more mature than her age. It doesn’t get explored really!

And then there is just the reality of being a middle schooler! Scott Underwood posted a drawing of Nazz where she has leg hair and I’m kind of mad nothing like that got incorporated in the show!! That sort of character design choice gets relegated to the Kanker sisters (obsessed with that photo of Lee shaving her legs in the fucking kitchen sink, what an icon).

It’s why I find the interface of the Kankers and Nazz so interesting - I risk sounding like a broken record but I’ve been saying the same shit for like 10 years now. And while the Kankers aren’t necessarily the most well rounded either they ARE much more interesting to me because the crew wasn’t afraid to make them unlikable or gross or tackle their pubescent growing pains or their messed up love/hate relationship to men.

Idk this is just my take! I could be missing some things, so I’m curious how other folks feel about Nazz!

[theravenkin]

hello! jsut wondered if you'd be down to tell me about the maurauders and such because they are interesting but i don't have anyone to talk about them with

HI YES so i am going to use this as an excuse to dump my marauders hcs here (completely random, no particular order)

- since 4th year, remus has been a regular installment at girls' night...he Is one of the girls. the rest of the marauders are BEYOND jealous

- the girls all know wayyyy too much about his love life and he knows far too much about theirs; they're all just way too comfortable with each other in general. remus gets to hear allll the gross girl stuff. all of it.

- "trust me, james. you don't wanna be at girls night. you can't handle girls night." (remus is right, james could not handle girls night)

- oh, and at gryffindor parties? you know that whole group of girls and remus are grindin on each other, gettin down, they all know how hot they are. and they don't give a Fuck. it's all about the girls. (remus included of course)

- the girls only wanna dance with each other and remus. they send rude gestures at any boy who tries to infiltrate.

- remus's hips cannot tell a lie. not a damn one. he's a hotgirl and he fuckin knows it.

- seriously, remus is the partier of the group. and when he and the girls get together...all hell breaks loose. he and lily, in particular, are terrible influences on each other.

- they're the type of best friends where each individually, they're perfectly normal, but once they're together...it's like they activate the weirdness in each other. they're completely bewildering. they make each other cackle with jokes that nobody else understands

- remus and lily dated for a hot minute in first/second year, but then decided they just wanted to be best friends. and they were disgustingly close from that point on

- lily has the mouth of a sailor and the grossest, most bizarre sense of humor ever (which is why james fell in love with her)

- lily: if you don't stop fucking poking me i'm going to cut off your goddamn toes, pickle them, and then feed them to you.

- remus: that's hot.

- lily: hell yeah it is ;)

- james: 😍🥵

- lily also has a terribly dirty mind, worse than even remus or mary or marlene (all close runners-up). she frequently scandalizes the marauders (sans remus)

- remus gets dragged into tiktok dances frequently; usually only lily or alice can manage to convince him. (of course, every video he's in becomes a thirst trap immediately. instantly viral.)

- mary and sirius like to make tiktoks together too, mostly because the dances n other trends, especially when they're doing it with mary, make sirius feel pretty (and like they're one of the girls)

- sirius comes out shortly after they and remus start dating because remus starts noticing their dysphoria more and makes them talk about their feelings for once (they hate it, but they finally realize that they wanna use different pronouns and present more feminine so they admit that maybe talking about their feelings isn't always stupid and terrible)

- one night shortly after sirius comes out, the girls ominously come beckon them from the marauders' room and drag them to the girls' (after a very offended remus is told that he is to stay behind this time)

- the girls' room is dark when they arrive, with lit candles the only light; "welcome to the club, sirius" "are you gonna make me drink blood or something" "yes, actually. we are." (they don't but they keep saying spooky shit just to haze sirius)

- soon enough sirius is being cuddled, their hair is being braided, their nails are being painted twelve different colors, they're being fed chocolate and popcorn, and they're helplessly giggling as the girls ask them about what it's like dating remus

- "ugh, and he's such a good kisser" "yeah we know" "you- we?? WE??"

- girls nights can get crazy, okay? (and the casanova of gryffindor tower is the WORST about committing friendcest)

- one time before he and sirius started dating, at a party, one of james's quidditch friends was half-joking about being bi-curious and so remus proceeded to crowd him against the wall and flirt the living hell out of the poor boy...his knees were weak, his whole face was beet red, boy was sweating. then remus is done and he just goes back to the dance floor, completely cool and unaffected, while the boy is in a puddle on the floor

- "still curious?" "ahh nah i'm pretty certain now"

- sirius might have witnessed that little show and might have then locked themself in the bathroom to cry and that might have been the night they confessed their love to remus cus they couldn't watch him flirt with anyone else ever again

- when they start presenting more feminine, sirius has the best whimsigoth style...patterned maxi skirts, platform docs, lots of velvet and chains, black lace chokers and chunky silver rings, the most gorgeous makeup and the cutest spiky nineties hair ever

- also, they are the absolute GOAT at graphic eyeliner. (white eyeliner on that face? hello???)

- remus has always been cool and collected, the casanova of gryffindor tower...but when he sees sirius done up in these outfits that are so obviously validating to them, when they just look so comfortable and so themself... he gets all flustered and tongue-tied. they're so pretty and he is so whipped

can you tell i've been having lots of sirius black gender thoughts lately? 😀 anyway this is all i'm willing to reveal about myself for now, enjoy

[spammreviews]

The Junji Ito Story Ranking, Worst to Best

Trigger warning:

Suicide, self harm, mentions of body horror, death, animal death, rape, marital abuse, transphobia, and sexism.

This will not include Junji Ito’s adaptations of others' works. There are also some works which couldn’t be put in this story because they simply aren’t available in English.

Also, there are two kinds of Junji Ito stories: one shots and longer stories.

One shots are stories such as Slug Girl and the Enigma of Amigara Fault.

Longer stories include Gyo and Remina.

There are some stories which are kind of on the fence between the two such as Tomie, Souchi, Uzumaki, and the Dissolving Classroom. These are collections of multiple different stories which can work together as one cohesive story. I ranked all of the Tomie chapters as separate stories as I felt like their quality varied, but Uzumaki, Souchi and Dissolving Classroom had more consistent quality (for better or for worse), so they were ranked as one whole work.

Penultimately, some of these stories have multiple titles. I have tried to show both titles when that happens, but there are most likely some times when I have made a mistake.

Lastly, some of my reviews will contain spoilers while others will not. Those with spoilers will contain a (Spoilers) tag.

Worst to best

F:

133. The Bizarre Hikizuri Siblings:

The Seance-

I hate every character in this story.

This story is about a family and they’re all spooky weirdos, like the Addams family if they were all annoying.

There’s the fat guy.

His design is obnoxious, and his entire existence is a never ending stream of stupid, overdone fat jokes. Wait, actually, that’s not fair, there is also a bunch of gross out humor.

There’s the little girl. She’s the “evil little girl” trope. She’s obnoxious and I hate her design.

There’s the little boy. He’s the “evil little boy” trope. He’s obnoxious and I hate his design.

There’s the eldest girl. She’s…she’s there.

There’s the eldest boy. He’s pretending to be mature and he speaks in a weird false-eloquent manner. He is not extremely obnoxious.

There’s Narumi. She’s “normal”, which means she’s boring.

The first half of the story sees us being introduced to our main characters. The eldest boy invites a girl to dinner. At the dinner, ee see the fat guy drooling and eating lots of food in a gross way. 

The family has a fight and I don’t know what emotion I should be feeling in that scene. Is it funny? If so, it fails, because there aren't any actual jokes. Is it supposed to be dramatic? If so, it fails because I don’t care about any of these characters. It’s clear that the family is grieving, but they’re all grieving in these extremely inhuman ways- so I can’t relate to them.

The family decides to have a seance for their dead parents, and that takes up the rest of the story. It’s filled with gross-out humor, inane banter, and extremely repetitive character beats. I think the little girl cries like ten or so times.

The family is also just arguing all of the time. Every page is another argument. I know that families argue with each other, but this is ridiculous. I don’t think this family likes each other.

All of this arguing means that the plot has the pacing of molasses, as none of this arguing moves the plot forward.

Also, family drama isn’t interesting when the family are just annoying caricatures of tired archetypes. 

This story sucks in every way. It’s not even nice to look at because the designs of the family make me want to vomit.

God, I hate this story so much.

132. All of the Souichi Stories-

The Souichi stories are too silly to be scary, too dark to be funny, too down-to-earth to be campy, and too annoying to be likable. 

Souichi is a child who never poses a threat to our main characters, so he’s never scary. 

However, his hijinks are also not fun to watch because they usually involve hurting people.

Fictional characters getting seriously hurt can be funny in a fucked up way, but only if something is added to make it funny. These stories just have someone getting their hand hit with a hammer. People getting hurt can also be fun if they are being injured in an extraordinarily cartoony manner, like in Evil Dead 2, but the injuries characters receive here are stuff like stepping on a nail, which is a very simple and realistic way to injure oneself, meaning that it’s not fun.

Despite being about a child who’s evil, these stories never have much fun with that premise or do anything creative. The only way Souichi being a child barely affects his career as an asshole is that he doesn’t face consequences.

Also, the others characters in this story are blacks of wood with no personalities and no dimensions. As such, the story is extraordinarily boring whenever Souichi isn’t on screen.

Watching a child be annoying to a bunch of boring people gets extremely old extremely quickly, especially with how repetitive these stories are. There are about fourteen of them, and they all have the same plot.

Lastly, Souichi is just annoying. He has all of the most annoying character traits of children: he always repeats things, he screams way too much, he eats really messily, he’s a gleeful asshole, and he never faces any consequences for his actions. 

This kind of character can work, like that prince kid from the Tintin comics, Abdullah or whatever. However, that kid appears in like fifteen pages over the course of two different books. 

However, Souchi is the main focus of these many stories.

Even when Souchi gets what is coming to him, it’s never cathartic because it’s always way too much, like him getting nails through his cheeks. That’s disturbing. 

Essentially, the problem with these stories is that they have no sense of tone. The mix of morbidity and wackiness leads to the stories just being really annoying.

They’re also really repetitive, both in the sense that almost all of these stories follow the same formula with the same beats, but this formula is one where the plot is one continuous cycle of Souchi being a little shit, getting away with it, and then getting angry for some reason. 

131. Fashion Model-

(Spoilers)

Haha it’s funny because the woman is ugly and aaah! it’s also scary because the woman is ugly and haha it’s funny because the ugly woman is going to rape the man as punishment for being slightly paranoid. 

This story is stupid. It’s cruel to every character involved, it’s not funny, the tone is all over the place, the pacing is extremely slow, and its attempts at suspense are laughably pathetic because they’re based on us being scared by a woman for no other reason than her being ugly.

It also has two really annoying tropes being taken to their extreme:

A woman pursuing a man who is clearly not interested in her and

Ugly people are evil/gross/funny.

When this story isn’t being absolutely awful, it’s just boring because every character ranges from bland to just kind of unlikable, like our main character. 

Despite him being kind of a jerk, seeing bad things happen to him isn’t gratifying because they are far worse than what he deserves. 

130. The Bizarre Hikizuri Siblings: 

Narumi’s Boyfriend-

(Spoilers)

This first two pages of this story see a teenage girl, Narumi Hikizuri, about to commit suicide, only to be saved by her boyfriend. You would assume that the rest of the story explores depression. You would not be wrong.

We then meet the other Hikizuri siblings, who, as I mentioned previously, suck, and there are five of them!

Then, we cut back to the teenage girl, Narumi obviously, and her boyfriend. Narumi is depressed and threatening to commit suicide again. Her boyfriend is kind of being an asshole about it, complaining about how hard it is to care for her. 

It’s pretty fucked up that there is really no good support network for Narumi.

Then, Narumi’s family finds her and kidnaps her, and it’s at this point where I can’t help but wonder if Narumi’s siblings are supposed to be scary or funny in this story. It wouldn’t make any sense for them to be scary, as their designs are weird and they talk weirdly, and they’re stupid and silly and wacky and dumb. However, them being funny makes no sense considering the fact that this is a story wich starts with a suicide attempt. Also, it’s hard to laugh because the siblings are so fucking stupid looking. They make me nauseous. Not only that, but the family members are being abusive to Narumi, and that’s not funny, even if their abuse is silly.

Anywhoo, the story randomly swerves in tone when Narumi says she’s going to kill herself, douses herself with gasoline, and flicks a cigarette lighter. You assume she’s on fire and is dying. You would be…uhh…wrong?

After that happens, the family gets Narumi’s boyfriend, takes him to their house, and tortures him by forcing him to lay in a bag with what appears to be the burnt body of Narumi.

It’s kind of disturbing, but it’s also very silly. So, what emotion am I supposed to be feeling?

Then, Narumi shows up, and the boyfriend dies of a heart attack.

As it turns out, the thing that burned was a mannequin, and the family were just messing with the boyfriend.

Narumi only seems a bit angry about her boyfriend dying, and the last panel sees her saying she “Had no intention of actually doing it” meaning she had no intention of setting herself on fire.

Now, I’m going to give the story the benefit of the doubt and say that Narumi was actually going to kill herself. I sure hope that when the family told Narumi she was just doing this for attention, they weren’t right. I sure hope that when Narumi threatened to kill herself in front of her boyfriend, she wasn’t manipulating him.

If that was true, this story would be awful.

I’m going to assume that Narumi is just lying. The story still sucks because we have a depressed character trapped with her abusive family and the story doesn’t seem to care. However, it sucks a little bit less because it’s not insinuating that depressed people are “looking for attention”.

In conclusion, this story is one of the most tonally bizarre things I’ve ever seen. It goes back and forth between silly hijinks and serious drama. 

It also doesn’t help that the silly hijinks aren’t funny, and I don’t even know much about Narumi and her boyfriend, so I don’t care about the drama of their story!

129. Groaning Pipes-

(Spoilers)

This is the story about the people getting stuck in pipes.

To truly understand this story, we need to go in deep.

The story starts off with black haired girl being stalked by, gasp!, a guy who is overweight and ugly. Now, I’d argue that the comic seems to want us to find him gross through the way the panels frame him.

So, we’re not off to a great start.

The pudgy kid asks black haired girl out and black haired girl rebukes him, something we are told has happened many times before. So, this guy sucks. 

However, black haired girl then insults this guy by calling him a “swollen and ugly".

Now, obviously, black haired girl has every right to insult someone who is being a creep. However, she is not insulting him on the grounds of being a creep, but instead focusing on his appearance, something he can’t control. In fact, all of the insults the black haired girl levels against the pudgy kid, and there are many, revolve around his appearance. The pudgy kid isn’t bad because he’s pudgy, he’s bad because he’s being a creep.

A result of this is that I kind of dislike both characters in this situation. Maybe that’s the point. If so, then I can congratulate this story on being rather complex in making the point that the girl had the right to not want to have sex with a guy she doesn’t like. Meanwhile, the guy, however much of a piece of shit he is, has the right to not be belittled for his appearance.

Of course, I’m assuming that’s the point. It’s probably not, because the rest of the story is very stupid. Also, the way both characters act is so extreme, it makes them seem like complete caricatures. The pudgy guy is a gross creepy incel and the black haired girl is a vapid valley girl.

Anywhoo, once that scene happens, black haired girl and her sister go to their house, where they bathe for way too long. At first, I was a bit unsure if these siblings were actually siblings because they look to be the same age and act less like siblings and more like casual work friends.

Then, we learn there is something wrong with the pipes in this house. We also see that the mom of this character is a total neat freak. The story feels the need to tell us this fifty or so times in these ten or so pages, and it quickly gets very annoying. There’s also an agonizingly pointless scene  where the mom yells at a plumber. 

It is also in this part where the two girls hatch a plan to let the pudgy guy go to their house so the neat freak mother can scare him off.

To finish our set up, we also meet the Dad of the family, who is divorced from the Mom and hasn’t seen his kids in a while. Unfortunately, the story doesn’t have the time to explore what it’s like to be a child of divorce in any meaningful way. 

So, the story has just been set up. There isn’t even the suggestion of something scary.

The plan of the two sisters goes perfectly, and the mom throws eggs at the pudgy kid.

Anywhoo, then the plot actually kicks off when the mom accidentally kills the Dad because she thinks he’s the fat kid when he sneaks into the house at night. I guess the Dad just really wanted to see his kids again, and IDK, maybe he was drunk or something. None of the members of the family seem concerned about the death of this man.

The mom tells the cops that the husband had a knife, so her killing of him was in self defense. I suppose that makes sense. However, what doesn’t make sense is that the family is just allowed to stay in this house that has become a crime scene. I suppose I’m nitpicking. Whatever.

We then see the Mom obsessing over her husband’s blood being cleaned from the floor, and the harassment causes the maid to quit. Why does the maid even exist in the story? I don’t know.

After these excruciatingly long sequences of nothing, we finally get some suspense when mysterious sounds start coming from the pipes.

This, among many other things, causes the Mom to freaking lose it. This is not the only Junji Ito story where a stressed out mom with a dead husband goes crazy. Another one will be near the top. However, this one doesn’t work because the mom is an annoying caricature of a mom, and her neurosciences are so extreme she becomes unbelievable.

Anywhoo, it turns out that the pudgy kid is in the pipes, which is where the sound is coming from.

The black haired girl suddenly starts acting like an asshole for no reason, and the story ends with the sister getting pulled into the pipes- presumably by the pudgy kid. I should mention that she is wearing a towel, so there is an unsettling subtext to this.

That’s fucked up. What is this story saying? Fat people are rapists?

Also, the mom just disappears from the story.

One kind of wonders why the husband and his death was even included, as he’s absolutely inessential to the actual main plot, which is the incel in the pipes. The mom is also pretty pointless, with her only important action being throwing eggs at the pudgy kid.

This whole story is convoluted, contrived, and nonsensical. Every character in it is a caricature, whether it be of women or of fat people. It also seems uninterested in actually creating an atmosphere of dread and suspense.

Unfortunately, a common theme throughout Ito’s stories (specifically his earlier work) is unattractive people being cast as villains and women going through extremely traumatic events in a way which feels indulgent. This story has these two being taken to the extreme.

128. Nanakuse Kyokumi-

This is the transphobic story.

It follows a woman , Koroketsu, who is obsessed with a writer. She goes to see that writer, Nanakuse, only for Nanakuse to turn out to be evil…and also a trans woman. 

Anywhoo, the main character, Koroketsu, of this story is one of the more colorful main characters because she’s really weird.

This means that the beginning of this story is…interesting with how strange it is.

Then, we meet Nanakuse, the author. She is drawn with a very pronounced chin and nose, and our main character literally thinks “A male!” when she first sees her.

It’s at this point when I stopped wanting to read the story, but I had to because of this fucking list.

After this, the author throws the main character into a dungeon, our main character suffers some body horror, and then the story ends.

If it wasn’t for the transphobia, this story would probably be in C. It is very quickly paced. In fact, it’s too quickly paced, as there’s no time given to creating suspense and atmosphere. We don’t see the author seeming more and more off putting as we get more hints that she is evil. The second the main character shows up, the author acts like an absolute asshole. Then, we get a scene of the two of them drinking which does nothing to build suspense. At the end of that scene, the author randomly reveals themself as evil when they toss the main character in a dungeon. It’s kind of sudden. There’s no buildup with this story.

You know Dracula? That’s a story about a person visiting the house of someone mysterious (Dracula), and we get more and more red flags about Dracula throughout the beginning of the story. It’s fun and suspenseful. If Dracula hypnotized Renfield after one conversation, the story would be very boring.

Moving on, the quick pacing means that the stuff about people having “quirks” doesn’t have time to be fleshed out. It seems interesting, but we barely get to see any of it, or the consequences of it, or why all of these people are obsessed with it.

A bunch of exposition is given, but it's all surface level stuff that doesn’t even help us to genuinely understand what’s going on. We learn how the author bought the house and why she keeps people in the prison, but none of this explores the idea of having quirks. Obviously, horror stories thrive when the horror isn’t explained, but it’s helpful if we at least understand what the horrifying thing even is. Imagine Jaws, but we never learn that it’s a shark.

Not only that, the body horror is a little more silly than scary. It’s also very sudden, much like the rest of this story.

Overall, even without the extreme transphobia, this story is just half-baked, with a half-baked idea that never makes any sense or seems all that scary. 

Also, what was the deal with the old servant lady?

[gumikpxp]

Never Gonna Happen - C.BG

Rocker AU

pairing: Radiohost!Gyu x (f)Rocker!Reader

Warning: Cursing, Bad Humor, Teasing, Slight bullying.

Synopsis: She's your modern day hannah montana. a goody too shoes to everyone who knows her, the perfect golden girl during the day. but when she's alone she's anything but allowing herself to let go of her perfect reputation. Then theirs beomgyu who's proudly part of the band txt and radio host of the schools most popular station. He hates her, but shes utterly enamored by him.

Chapter 2. interview?

Beomgyu dropped his bag on the cafeteria floor taking a seat off at the table with a huff.

"remind me what we are doing in here again?" Beomgyu spoke glaring at yeonjun who was currently filtering with a group of girls only a few feet away from them, even having the audacity to sign one of their phone cases. "And why is he always doing that?"

"Kai was hungry and they had pizza today. and Yeonjun just like to get his ego stroked." Taehyun answered as he looked over his math work. Kai hummed as he took a bite out of the abnormally large slice of pizza he was served and soobin was seemingly stared off in space in somewhat of a deep thought.

"so Gyu i was thinking for toxdo, we should try something new, our listeners are pretty good right now but a good way to bring in more audience is to talk about the new buzz." Soobin told him and beomgyu nodded.

Most ideas for the show went through beomgyu cause even though Soobin was the leader of the band, Beomgyu was in charge of organizing and being the main host for their show. Usually accompanied by only one or at most two of his members on the show depending on the day and everyone's schedule.

"okay.. what's the new buzz?" Beomgyu asked since he has been practically a zombie all day ignoring everyone around him.

"The Love Abusers, ever since the night at the club they're all people have been talking about. They're new and no one knows a thing about them. Not to mention no one has seen a single one of the members before and that's pretty rare. Our town isn't the biggest." Soobin spoke as he opened up their notebook for the show that had a list of ideas none of them quite hitting the spot in what they felt was needed.

"Wouldn't that make them out competition? why would we give them yet another platform?" Beomgyu asked not quite trashing the idea only questioning it.

"Not everything's a competition Gyu, remember we make music and host a show cause we like it and it's fun, not to be the best." Kai said wiping some of the marina sauce he got on his mouth with his sleeve.

"Kai gross you have a napkin." Taehyun grimaced. "Soobin what if they don't want an interview? i mean they did stay hidden for a reason. what makes you think they want to be known now of all times?" Taehyun added to the conversation and soobin seemed to be stumped with the question crossing the idea off of the paper.

"Because they finally performed. They brought the light on themselves when they went to the club and introduced their band to the world. Plus it never hurts to ask. I like the idea soob." Yeonjun commented the second he joined the conversation. How he heard it? their not sure but none of the boys would ever understand how yeonjun does half the stuff he does.

"Fine, we can ask. only because i am fully stumped and i really really didn't want to go with kai introducing all his plushies to the world." Beomgyu sighs in acceptance however it left kai a bit heartbroken as yeonjun comforted the youngest.

The boys entered the club that thursday on a mission. Everyone in the club was surprised to see them as they never came to the club when they didn't have a performance planned.

"Soobin! boys? what are you guys doing here?" Jisoo asked and soobin smiled at the owner of the club bashfully.

"Hey Jisoo, nothing much we just had no plans today thought we'd come and see the performance today. See what else the new group has up their sleeves." Soobin said and Jisoo rolled her eyes and the boys.

"so you staking the out the competition?" she asked.

"Told you they were our comp." Gyu mumbled and taehyun elbowed his ribs in response earning curses from the long haired boy.

"Well sorry to break it to you but your usual Table is taken by Kat and her group." Jisoo smiled motioning towards the table the boys were all confused until the noticed the familiar girl band sitting in their seats.

"This is really starting to feel like a competition." Yeonjun mumbled.

"Not really we can't expect the table to be free when we are expected to show up." Soobin told them and Jisoo nodded leaded the boys over to a booth a few tables away from the girls.

"Alright we'll get comfortable i gotta go introduce the group." Jisoo said as a waiter came up to the boys placing a tray with their usual drinks in the table.

"Alright everyone! It's the hour you've all been waiting for! They seem to have stolen the hearts of many and it's only their second show here at the bar. Let's welcome to the stage.. The Love Abusers!!."

The club erupted in cheers surprising the boys as the girls all left their booth and got to the stage situating theirselves with the instruments. However it seemed the lead singer ignored her guitar and situated herself behind a keyboard as their bassist grabbed the guitar.

"Hey guys.. it's great to be back, how's everyone night going?" the lead singer spoke again earning another cheer.

Beomgyu cleared his throat hearing the girls voice yet again. He definitely hates that feeling.

"It's been three full days since we performed and Cas here seems to have gotten herself in some relationship drama." The girl spoke looking over to their bassist as she rolled her eyes and approached her mic.

"Oh please Kat, you can't say it's all that surprising." Cas spoke ranting hollers from the crowd as it was their first time hearing her voice.

"Definitely not, you see guys Cas isn't much of a saint... and because of that i've written just the song for her." Kat spoke as the drums picked up behind her and Cas started strumming.

"I've been a bad bad girl..." Kat started her eyes drifting to the boys of txt as she smirked. The crowd cheered at the beginning of the song.

"I've been careless with a delicate maaann..." her eyes left the group and they all looked at eachother.

"that's a dirty trick." Yeonjun huffed slouching in his seat not strong enough to admit that he liked the song.

Beomgyu took in the melody of the song. He sighed as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that the song was written in about 3 days and already sounds this good.

"Well they have talent. Where have the been hiding?" Taehyun asked and they all shrugged.

"i guess we know what to ask when we interview them." Beomgyu said and they all looked at him.

"oh so now you're very into the idea of interviewing them." Kai mumbled as he drank his limonade.

Beomgyu shrugged. "They're interesting."

"He's definitely got a boner for the lead singer." Yeonjun scoffed.

"shut up!" Beomgyu groaned throwing a salt packet at the older.

"What i need is a good defense, cause i'm feeling like a criminal, and i need to be redeemed to the the one i sinned against because he's all i ever knew of love..." She finished the lyrics off as the song began closing.

the crowd erupted in cheers and they chuckled as cas spoke in the mic. "Look at us gaining popularity off of my commitment issues." Cas joked and the drummer laughed.

"Never tell Kat she can write a song about your love life because she'll drag you through the dirt." The drummer spoke.

"Awe JJ you know that's not true... okay maybe a bit." Kat smiled as the audience listened to their batter on stage.

"Speaking of JJ, didn't she write one for you too?" Cas asked and Kat put her hand in her hands.

"hm.. you know what your right she did, care to share it with the class Kat?" JJ asked with a smile and Kat nodded leaving the keyboard taking her guitar from Cas as Cas went to her Bass.

"my love i missed you." Kat spoke kissing her guitar.

"if that's not beomgyu i don't know what is." Taehyun teased and beomgyu rolled his eyes.



She sighed and began strumming. "Everyone this is Bite me." JJ announced.

"Don't act so innocent this was no accident, You planned this in the end and now it's over.."

"they seem so natural.." Soobin mumbled confused since they were suppose to be rookies.

"definitely they're very comfortable on the stage."

"Beomgyu ask!" Kai mumbled and he shook his head.

"What? me no it was soobin a idea!"

"Oh jeez move you losers..." Yeonjun mumbled. "Hey! Love Abusers... Come here!" Yeonjun waved the girls over and they smiled walking over.

"If it isn't TXT.. coming to see our set? how nice." Cas smiled at the boys.

"Ah so you know us?" Yeonjun smirked at the girl and she scoffed.

"It's not a very big town." She told him and taehyun nodded at that.

"And yet you guys stayed hidden quite well, you're very comfortable on stage you know that?" Taehyun said to the girls and they looked at him.

"we have a very nice garage." JJ retorted crossing her arms feeling a bit hostility from the shorter.

"We'd like to interview you guys, for our Radio show it's called toxdo have you heard of it?" Beomgyu asked wanting to end the conversation his eyes glancing towards kat who off stage seemed a bit timid and was the smallest of her group.

"like we said, small town word gets around. We've heard of it." JJ smiled and beomgyu nodded.

"Are you interested than?"

the girls looked at kat and she nodded.

"Sure, here's my number i'll text you later tonight about it, it's tomorrow right?" JJ asked giving her number to beomgyu and he nodded.

a ringing went through all their ears and Kats eyes widen checking her phone.

"We've gotta go. Like now." Kat said and the girls nodded.

"See you guys tomorrow!" The girls waved as they rushed out the club.

the boys looked at each other from the odd exchanged but shrugged. They got the interview.

songs of the chapter.

Criminal- Fiona Apple

Bite Me- Avril Lavigne

[dontmindme2600]

Hi again......If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

OH MY GOD I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE MY BAD BECAUSE I LEFT THIS SITTING IN MY DRAFTS AND TOTALLY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS!! Anyways, top 7, in no particular order:

Hunter x Hunter: I’m not as into this as I was in middle school but it’s never left my mind. Definitely my favorite shonen, Togashi’s originality with the series is really refreshing. (I also love Yu Yu Hakusho by him!!) As weird as it gets the characters and story are always a blast to follow. The villains also go hard. I finished the 2011 anime and I have up to volume 13 of the manga! I’d love to catch up fully since it’s being updated again, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. It’s something that I’ve always been inspired by even if I don’t want to make something that’s gonna be EXACTLY like it anymore lol.

Cowboy Bebop: I tried to limit myself to one (1) Shinichiro Watanabe anime for this list, but his other stuff fucks as well. I love Spike. (bet you never would’ve guessed!!) It’s hard to put into words in a way that doesn’t sound incredibly dumb. But. Every character introduced has their own unique worldview, backstory, flaws, etc. It sounds so fucking stupid because yeah, that’s what a character is supposed to have?? But this anime does that REALLY well?? I think what I’m trying to say is that the show does a great job of presenting different lifestyles and perspectives without worrying about making the audience uncomfortable. The anime is all about human connections and how they impact the characters and I LOVE that. It was also pretty moving to me, lots of great emotional moments. The episode where they find Faye’s old cassette recording and the one with Gren’s death will always stay with me. (Also the Andy one, but only because I think it’s funny as hell.) Watanabe is my favorite anime director ever and if you love Bebop I recommend checking out some of his other stuff as well! (Also props to an anime director that isn’t afraid of diversity in his character designs)

Witch Hat Atelier: I’m not nearly as caught up with this as I would like to be but!!! I love the writing, worldbuilding, and characters. I wish more manga were like this. Not like, aesthetically, but like quality wise. Everything is done really well and the art and paneling is GORGEOUS omfg. Also Kamome Shirahama is a very cool and progressive person and it’s just nice to read a manga by someone like her. I’m hyped as hell for the anime and can’t wait to see WHA reach a larger audience!! (Even with all the bad stuff it may bring, lmao)

Invader Zim: This one is probably the most different from the rest of the list lol. I’ll rewatch a few episodes of this every once in a while. It’s one of the only shows I watch that actually makes me laugh out loud. I also don’t think I’ve really seen anything else like it??? Sure there’s stuff that’s it’s pretty similar to but you cant really say, “wow, this is exactly like ____!” which is super cool. There’s not a major character in the show that I can say I hate or even just am neutral on, I love them all. I’m not usually a fan of stuff the gross-out humor it does, especially in the first season, but just about everything else about it just lives in my brain rent free. I think it’s a really unique and funny show and I just vibe with it stylistically as well. Seriously, I love the art style and just overall,,, edgy vibe. I absolutely do not care that it’s a kid’s show and I unironically think it’s super cool lmao. I know should probably check out some of Jhonen’s other stuff but I haven’t done that yet…

The Ace Attorney Trilogy: This one is more so just Shu Takumi in general. It’s a hard choice because I love Apollo Justice as well, and I also considered Ghost Trick (also by Takumi) but Agh!! The trilogy is the most iconic to me so I’m going with that. I just love seeing and interacting with all the unique characters the series has to offer. I’ve always liked how Takumi isn’t afraid to stray away from the generic skinny anime designs for his characters, it makes his characters feel very unique and memorable. He seems to be against having most of his characters be one dimensional, giving them their own struggles and aspirations, regardless of if they’re a “silly” character or not. I love it! It makes them more memorable and enjoyable than many other visual novel characters to me. (Please remember that I also love Ghost Trick holy fuck it’s so good)

Yakuza 0: I’m going to be 100% for real and admit that I discovered this series because of a bunch of stupid clips I saw of it on YouTube. It wasn’t the dame da ne memes, this was before that. But like, clips of all the silly stuff you can do in game like dance, receive a chicken as a gift for winning at bowling, assign said chicken a position at your real estate business, etc. So I bought it on a whim looking for a laugh. And. Holy FUCK. I did not expect the actual real serious story of this game to hit me as hard as it did. Just a good, moving story. I was THOROUGHLY emotionally invested in both Majima and Kiryu’s storylines by like, chapter 2 for both of them. I think it made me cry?? The fact that you can experience both that and the stupid shit, on top of the fun combat, makes it an S tier game for me. I plan to continue with the rest of the series (so far I’ve gotten through Kiwami 1 and 2 and loved them) but 0 has so far been my absolute favorite.

Pokemon: It’s not a perfect series but I always find myself getting back into it for a while every year. I’ve been a fan since I was just old enough to read, what can else can I say? I don’t have a super deep reason for this it’s just something that’s always been comfortable and fun!! The worldbuilding, story, music, and characters, really shine through in some of my favorite games in the series. And regardless of story, the gameplay is always fun.

It’s hard for me to determine my favorite anything but for this I tried to go by:

-How often I ended up going back to these

-How much each work made an emotional impact on me (not just the deep stuff, can also include things like making me laugh)

-How much each of these inspired me (like as in inspired my art or made me think “I want to make something like that!!!”) I think I’ve thought to that at least once for everything in here! It’s actually kind of scary because they’re all so different-

I’m probably missing something here but this should give you an idea!! If I spend any longer on this I’m just gonna keep changing it lolllll

[bugs1nmybrain]

Shigaraki NSFW Alphabet (18+)

Minors don’t interact

Warnings: Quirkless AU, rough sex, period sex, fem-reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Honestly, he’s a jerk. He doesn’t really care about the cleanup or check-ins. He’ll probably just take off to do whatever he pleases when you’re done fucking. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Shigaraki just about hates every part on his body, but if he was obligated to choose, he’d pick his hands. They’re the source of all his control.

On you? Probably your hair. He likes to touch it and even tug on it when you’re fucking. If we’re talking about more erogenous areas, he likes both your tits and ass. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is kind of a gross color and definitely tastes awful. He prefers to cum either inside or on your face. He likes to defile and claim you and gets off at the idea.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

What he wouldn’t give to fuck you in front of his friends. To show off how pretty you are and how well he fucks you. The thought makes his cock twitch, but he’d only execute it if you were down.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Aside from a few handjobs and one lowsy blowjob, he has no experience. To be frank, he’s got some things to learn because sex can be a hit or miss. He’s not very meticulous with his movements, but he’s eager to make you cum, so he definitely tries. He’ll get better, just give him some time. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. Sometimes you on top. He loves how deep he can thrust in doggy and how tight you feel. The control and exposure of doggy style turn him on. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He will tease the shit out of you. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Shiggy shaves every now and then. He usually doesn’t let himself grow too long, but he’ll go a bit without shaving in between times. It’s darker than his hair, but kind of a dark blue shade. Black when his hair turns white. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s not very romantic I’m afraid. It can get passionate, yes, but he’s not sappy or heartfelt. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

Every day, or every couple of days. He gets horny regularly. He beats his meat in either one of three places: his bed, his gaming chair, or the shower. He usually watches porn, unless he’s in the shower. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Degradation is his biggest kink. Mostly with him insulting you, calling you a slut mostly. He’s almost vanilla, just with some roughish sex mixed in. He’s not much for intense pain play, but he definitely enjoys pulling your hair or spanking you. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom for the most part. When his roommates aren’t home, though, he’ll fuck you just about anywhere. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Either anger or you just being hot as fuck gets him going. If you walk around in something skimpy and he’s ready for the taking. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything involving cutting or blood (except one thing, which I’ll get to later). He’s not interested in mutilating either of you. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes to receive more than give. To be honest, you’re going to have to encourage him to freshen up before you suck his cock. He will go down on you if you request it, he’s not opposed by any means, and he’s not horrible at it. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He loves and craves a rough fuck. He’s got a lot of internal rage, and sometimes taking it out on your pussy is the best stress relief, in his opinion. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’d prefer a proper session, to be honest. He doesn’t really see the point in a quickie because he doesn’t like rushing to cum.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Hell yea. He’s definitely not against trying new things. He’s a bit of an exhibitionist too, so fucking you in the next room while his roommates can hear? Yes. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for about 3 times consecutively. He tends to cum relatively quick. He’s got a lot of cum to spare. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has had a couple of pocket pussies. He likes watching you use dildos on yourself. He also has rope to tie you up with. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will absolutely torment you. He’ll overstim, teasingly degrading you, or edge you as much as he pleases.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s pretty noisy. He growls a lot and also moans. The rasp in his voice makes him sound a bit funny. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The one exception that he’ll make with blood is period sex. At first he thought he wouldn’t like it but he gets horny and hates to wait until you’re done bleeding. So one day he decided that he’ll give it a go and he found a bit of pleasure in the extra lubrication from the blood. So yea, he doesn’t mind it. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Not very big. Kind of on the smaller side of average, so maybe 5 inches in total? He’s also not impressively girthy, either. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s kind of a horny rut. He’ll fuck you regularly if you allow him. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t doze off right away. Sometimes he gets up to play video games after. He’ll sleep if he’s tired or if it’s very late at night. 

[eternal-love-song]

Yellow Flowers, Purple Stems

[Tenko/Kokichi] [No killing game, Fluff, Humor, Hanahaki disease, Unrequited Crush, Tenko POV, Pre-relationship]

Tenko gets some unwanted advice and decides that maybe Kokichi isn't so bad.

Tenko's throat was burning. She had spent the morning coughing and, after getting too many looks from her classmates, decided to sneak off for some privacy. She had wanted to go to the bathroom, if she was there, there was a chance that she would run into the people she didn't want to see. So instead, she had retreated to the small tree at the back of the school. No one usually went there, as far as she knew, so she would be safe from scrutiny. Unfortunately, as soon as she had gotten there a heavy wave of coughs had wracked her body and brought her to her knees.

She stared at her hand, a mix of blood and flowers sitting in the palm of her hand.

"Eww, gross." Tenko's hand clenched around the small flowers, crushing the petals in her hand as she jumped in surprise and looked over her shoulder. Of all her classmates, she was surprised and annoyed to see that it was Ouma that had found her. "Being in love is super gross, Ten-chan!"

"Don't call me that, you degenerate male," she told him. She spoke too harshly, because she immediately started coughing again, holding up her arm to muffle the coughs.

"Aww, don't be like that," Ouma said. There was a lilt to his voice that could make one think he regretted what he said, if not for the grin that was still plastered across his face. "I came all the way out here to check on you! You should be grateful."

Tenko waited until she'd stopped coughing to reply, making sure to do so at a more reasonable volume. "And why would I be grateful that you came to bother me?" she asked.

"Well, no one else did."

That answer left a frown on her face and she looked down, opening her palm to see the smears of blood and the crush of petals. No one had come to check on her. No one had called out to see if she was okay or sent her a message or… anything. Ouma was right. She hated that he was right almost more than she hated coughing up blood and flowers. Almost.

Tenko clenched her fist again. "Maybe they know that Tenko can take care of herself!"

"Maaaybe," Ouma said in a teasing voice. "Or maaaybe, you're here coughing up flowers for a reason."

She glared at him. "Tenko didn't ask for your opinion."

"Good, because I would usually charge for advice this good, but just because we're such good friends Ten-chan--"

"Don't call Tenko by your dumb nickname."

"I'll give it to you for free!" Ouma tossed his arms out like he was presenting a magic trick, a dirty move that made her cough even more.

The coughing didn't stop like she was expecting it to. Instead, it got heavier and heavier, until she was hunched over on all fours and leaving splatters of blood and flowers all over the grass. The flowers weren't uniform, like people often expected. There were marigolds and daisies and she nearly gagged as a sunflower got stuck in her throat. The whole ordeal left her panting, with a sore throat and stinging eyes as tears had gathered with the pain. She didn't bother trying to wipe them away when another fit might be just around the corner.

Ouma leaned down next to her, his face blank as he held out a bottle of water. After a few more heavy breaths, Tenko accepted it. She was on the verge of telling him thank you when he spoke. "Give up," he told her. "That's my advice."

Tenko's hand clenched around the newly opened bottle, causing water to slosh out and onto her hands. "Just like a degenerate male not to understand a girl's heart!"

"I understand just fine," he told her. "You spent the whole morning coughing and the only person to check up on you was me. Don't waste your time on people like that."

Tenko felt more tears gathering up in her eyes and she turned away so that Ouma wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She thought about throwing the water bottle at him, but her throat was still burning. She lifted the bottle and chugged the entire thing down in thirty seconds flat.

"Ouma doesn't understand," she said softly.

"Oh?" he asked her and there was a dark undercurrent in his voice. She'd heard it a million times before but never directed at her, never so close. Only from across the room when he was talking to others, usually before she had to step in on the girl's behalf. "Explain it to me, then."

Tenko crushed the plastic bottle in her hand, hoping that it would make her feel better, but it didn't. She set it down on the ground beside her and Ouma immediately scooped it up. "If you knew what it was like to love someone, you'd know that you can't just stop."

She heard Ouma stand up behind her and walk off. She hadn't expected to feel so sad and alone without him. How long has she been gone? Ouma couldn't have known where she was going when she hadn't even known, and it was unlikely that he had been on his way here for some other reason. He'd been in the middle of an argument with Iruma when she left. The only reason he would be here is if he really had come to check on her. But that was… that wasn't something she wanted to believe a degenerate male would do. At least, not this one. Not the class menace. Not the one that causes the most trouble. Not…

Not the only person in class that had come to check on her.

Tenko jumped again as she felt a hand land on her shoulder. She looked up with tear filled eyes to see Ouma standing there again, offering her another bottle of water. No, the same bottle that he'd uncrumpled and filled up again.

"If you knew anything about love," he told her, "You wouldn't be here choking on your feelings."

Tenko clenched her fist. She unclenched it. She accepted the bottle of water. "You don't get it."

"You know why I never get hanahaki?" he asked her, his voice abruptly taking on a hard tone. "Because I don't go dancing around the truth. Because if I love someone, I tell them. It doesn't matter if they love me back or they think I'm joking. It doesn't matter that they'll never love me in a million years. My feelings are about me, and yours should be about you. But they're not. They're about every girl that you think you can save, every girl who's heel you can lap at, every girl that you think needs you. But no one needs you, Ten-chan. So grow up and accept that."

With those words, he turned on his heel and stomped away, leaving Tenko stunned and alone.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Tenko took her time returning to class, slowly drinking down the refilled bottle of water and turning Ouma's words over in her head.

The words were harsh and she was angry at him for having spoken to her that way. In fact, when she saw him next she would almost certainly flip him. But that wasn't… all they were. She hated thinking so. Giving Ouma any credit whatsoever felt wrong. Why should she listen to a degenerate male?

But he had come to check on her. She was fairly certain that that was true, because why else did he have a bottle of water with him? She'd seen the kind of things Ouma liked, things sweet enough to poison or so unhealthy her master would have a heart attack if he saw her even holding it. And it wasn't if Ouma was always a menace, even if it sometimes felt that way. Gonta was one of the few males in her class that she thought was actually pretty okay and he thought Ouma was a good person. Tenko hadn't believed him before but… maybe he knew something they didn't?

When she did return to class, it was like she hadn't even been gone. No one asked if she was alright or if anything was wrong. Just a wave from Angie before she continued her conversation with Himiko, a smile from Kaede, and everyone else went on doing what they were doing.

Well, not everyone. She could feel Ouma's eyes on her, glaring at her as soon as she entered the room. He didn't look away when she glared at him, either, just kept staring at her with that blank expression of his. Her eyes tightened on the water bottle, refilled for a second time. His eyes did drop then, to look at the bottle, before darting back to hers in curiosity. She ignored him, turning around to start a conversation with someone and hoping that she wouldn't end up choking again.

Tenko lingered when class was over, telling the other girls to go on without her and fidgeting with the still full water bottle in her hand. She wasn't watching as the class emptied, so she hoped that he would still be there once she heard the last person leave.

She looked up once she heard the last person walk through the doorway and almost wished that she hadn't. He was sitting on his desk almost expectantly, looking at his nails as if she was wasting his time by making him wait. The urge to flip him was stronger than ever.

"Well?" he asked, glancing up from his nails to meet her gaze. "Have something to say?"

If he had been standing, she absolutely would have flipped him. Instead she gripped the edge of her desk, took a deep breath, and stood. She grabbed the water as she marched over to him, satisfied to see the cockiness in his gaze falter a bit with her stern approach. She held out the water bottle and said, "Thank you. Even if you're just a degenerate male, even you can do something nice once and a while."

Ouma was silent for a moment before he broke out into a grin and snatched the bottle from her hands. "It's about time, Ten-chan! I was dying of thirst, you know!"

She groaned. "Tenko told you--"

"Wait," he said, holding up his hand. "Where did you feel this up at? You didn't use icky bathroom water, did you?"

"Wha? Of course not!" she yelled. "I used a water fountain."

Ouma slumped, looking sadly at the bottle. "Common water? When I used nice, luscious spring water for you? You wound me, Ten-chan."

"You did not use spring water," she argued. "It took you like a minute to refill the bottle. There's no way you found any springs."

"Obviously not," he said, kicking his feet where they didn't reach the ground. "I poured another bottle of water into this one. Pretty smart, right?"

"Why didn't you just give Tenko the new bottle?"

Ouma frowned at her. "And let you kill another bottle? No way! Do you know how hard it was to bring this one back from the brink of death?"

She placed her hands on her hips as she let out a tired breath. He looked too chipper for her liking, like he was up to something. Now that he'd brought it up though, Tenko could admit that she was a bit curious. "How did you fix the bottle? It was pretty crushed."

"That's easy, I gave it mouth to mouth!" he proclaimed with a wink.

Tenko's face became red instantly as she realized her mouth and Ouma's had both touched the bottle. "You what? And you didn't tell me?"

Ouma laughed. "How did it feel to indirectly kiss me, by darling Ten-chan?"

She pressed a hand to her lips. "N-no way…"

Ouma pulled the top off the water bottle with relish. "My turn to kiss Ten-chan," he said in a sing-song voice before pressing the bottle to his lips.

"Eh!"

"Ahh," Ouma hummed as he pulled the bottle from his lips. "Ten-chan's kiss is so refreshing."

"w-we did NOT-"

"Uh oh!" Ouma hopped off the table, looking at his wrist as if there was a watch there. "I can't keep playing with Ten-chan when I have important evil leader things to do."

"You're not even wearing a watch!" she argued.

"Come on, Ten-chan! Let's go!" He grabbed hold of her hand and Tenko flipped him on instinct alone. "Oww! So mean…"

"Ah! Tenko is sorry!" She leaned down to help him back up, forgetting all about her earlier desire to do just that to him as she helped him into a sitting position. "Are you okay?"

Ouma kissed her cheek and she immediately dropped him again. He laughed from his position on the floor. "Tenko looks better like this," he said. She felt her face heating up again as she watched him pick himself up off the ground. Ouma pointed at her. "So, I better not catch you making any more ugly faces like you did earlier. Got it!"

In a moment her embarrassment went back to being rage. "Ugly?"

Ouma just laughed as he darted out of the classroom. She went to chase after him, but found herself stopped in her tracks by a fresh round of coughing. By the time she had caught her breath again, Ouma was gone. The bottle of water was still sitting on his desk. Tenko stared at it for a long moment, rubbing her throat. Eventually, she found herself blushing as she lifted the bottle up once more. "It's not a kiss," she told herself as she uncapped the bottle and held it up. Though now the idea of kissing Ouma was in her head ad she didn't know what to do about that. She closed her eyes and chugged the bottle, only to end up coughing again halfway through.