#and then make sure to pour the water slowly and in stages so there’s a smooth flavor”

[mimicori]

the urge to become a little pretentious abt the process of making coffee.

[marsbutterfly]

amab rockstar hanji🫣

In The Eyes Of The Public

a/n: i've been meaning to write a male/amab! hanji fic the longest time and he has been stuck on my mind lately so lmao here you go.

warnings: nsfw, amab! hanji, he/him pronouns for hanji, rockstar! au, fem! reader, kissing, they swear a lot, fingering, licking, nipple play, semi-public sex, not beta read (we die like men <3) word count: 3k | ao3 version! | wattpad version!

"Rockstar Hanji Zoe, from the popular band No Name!, has been spotted around town with purple marks on his neck! At this time, he refuses to give a statement."

"No Name star has been spotted walking around with a Promise Ring on his finger. Fans and reports have been speculating who the lucky person might be that has been wearing the other half of said ring, but no leads were found at the time."

"After last night's concert, fans are claiming that Hanji Zoe, the guitarist of the hit "No Name" Rock Band, lifted his eye covers to wink at a random person in the audience. It is a known fact that the band members are not allowed to do such a thing, so rumors have it that he did it towards a... special someone."

"Alright! You guys have been an amazing crowd, but this is our last song of the night!" Levi says, his voice is hoarse from singing for the past three nights in a row, his face covered in sweat as he takes off his blazer. The fangirls in the crowd cry out his name desperately, their voices even more strained than his as they reach their hands up, desperately begging and hoping for a chance to touch him.

As Miche begins hitting the drums, another horde of fangirls' scream fills your ears. They hold posters with pictures of him surrounded by hearts, messages that range from "you're amazing" to "WE LOVE YOU!" to "(678) 999 - 8212" and you can't help but be a little concerned about this specific girl giving away her own personal phone number like this at a concert.

Finally, your eyes land on Hanji and your heart skip a beat. For the past three nights, you have been going to the concerts, enough for the security guards to nod at you once they notice your presence in the crowd. Unlike Levi and Miche's, Hanji's fangirls would usually be naked from the waist up, his name written across their chest as they cry out for his. You take a look around for a second and notice that more than a few girls were now wearing a version of Hanji's promise ring, fantasizing about being the lucky girl who gets to wear the real other half.

You analyze Hanji's every move, the way his fingers go through the guitar strings, the way his hair flows as he jerks his body forward, his energy never fading no matter how exhausted he is after such a long day. The way he bites his lip as he does the final jump of the night and the way he walks out of the stage carrying his guitar.

Tightly, you cling onto the lanyard of your VIP pass, a nervous sensation in your stomach as you try your best to make sure none of the fangirls catch you sneaking in. By the time you reach the big, metal doors, the security guard smiles playfully, the whole crew already aware of who you are and what exactly you are doing backstage. His reaction is enough to cause your face to heat up and you look down, avoiding his and everyone else's gaze.

It feels like all eyes are on you, like you are in the center of the stage, a massive spotlight lit directed on top of you and you are naked. Your hands tremble slightly and you can barely swallow the thick coating that rest on your throat. But all of your fear and nervousness slowly melts away as you spot him in the middle of the dressing room.

The eye bandages coming right off once the three are out of the view of the public. A water bottle in one of his hands while the other holds a towel that he uses to wipe the sweat of his forehead, the earpiece hanging around his neck as he laughs at something stupid Miche said.

"Did you see the girl with the phone number?" Miche says, pouring his own water bottle on the back of his neck, the drumsticks hanging from his back pocket, "I definitely saved that poster, she was cute as fuck."

"Dude, that is so weird," Levi comments, his voice strained as he uses a nebulizer, his voice strained and he knows he isn't supposed to talk but the idea of making fun of Miche is just too tempting to resist. "Did you see my girls? They were reaching for me, like I was some sort of God or something."

"Shut the fuck up, please," your lover says. The light from the dressing room shining on your promise ring as you walk towards the three men. A bright smile immediately forms on Hanji's face the moment he sees you, his arms rapidly wrapping around your waist as he lifts you off the ground, spinning you in his arms, "my princess is here!"

You can't help but giggle, your eyes traveling towards the other two people who stand in the vicinity of your hug. Levi playfully shoves his finger down his throat while Miche laughs, they always have the exact same reaction, to the point where you can't even be mad or embarrassed anymore. Maybe a tiny bit annoyed.

Hanji hooks his fingers on the edge of his shirt, immediately pulling the cloth over his head and throwing it on the ground. The piece of clothing is so wet that it makes a splash sound as soon as it hits the ground, a few drops splattering around and you can hear Levi grunting.

"Could you be any more fucking disgusting?" He rolls his eyes, pointing directly at the shirt. Hanji looks at him for exactly three seconds before clearing his throat and pretending to get ready to spit on it, "NO! DON'T FUCKING DARE!"

You and Miche find yourselves laughing at the scene, the blonde man handing you a bottle of blue gatorade and you thank him silently. The two of you never really talked all that much, but have always looked out for each other. So as you silently enjoy each other's presence in what is supposed to be a calm environment, Hanji and Levi continue to bicker in the background.

"It's just a shirt, why are you so pissy about it?" Your boyfriend asks as he searches the dressing room for a new shirt, your eyes fixated on his abs and the tattoos on his arms and chest, to the point where Miche has to snap his fingers before your eyes to get you out of your trance. Your face heats up for a second as he winks in response, gently nudging your ribs.

"Because you're fucking gross, dude," Levi's strained voice cracks as he continues to complain, his fingers gently rubbing the sides of his throat. Hanji can't help but roll his eyes as he finishes putting a clean shirt on and grabbing a water bottle from the mini-fridge before making his way back to you. By the way he is being followed, both you and Miche can tell that Levi wants to keep arguing, so the two of you rush to action.

"C'mon, bro, let's go see what today's girls had in stock for us," the taller man says, wrapping his arm around the shorter one's shoulders and quickly nudging him away from Hanji before things escalate even more.

On your end, your voice is soft and your hand rests on his chest, "Sunshine, how about we go back to the hotel?" You suggest, desperately trying to get him out of this situation before him and Levi ended up getting physical. You know all too well how the two of them can be. He sighs.

"We're gonna start heading back to the hotel, we'll meet you guys there?" Hanji says, using another towel to dry off the sweat off of his hair. At this point, his band members aren't exactly paying attention to him anymore, so the two of them just nod, going through the hundreds, if not thousands of gifts that were thrown onto the stage during tonight's show.

With an arm wrapped around your waist, the two of you begin making your way towards the subterranean parking garage where a black, bulletproof car would be waiting. There are three bodyguards in front of you in the elevator, two that you have met before and a new one in training. You want to focus on getting into the vehicle as quickly as possible but your thoughts are interrupted when you feel Hanji's hand sliding up your skirt and squeezing your ass.

A silent yelp escapes your lips and you glare at him, only to find an amused expression on his face. With his free hand, he places his index finger in front of his lips, shushing you and making sure you wouldn't even think about making any sort of noise.

As you reach the ground level, your heart is racing in your chest like a cheetah after its prey. When Hanji pulls his hand away from your ass, you nearly whine in disappointment and hope he didn't notice, but by the look in his eyes, you can clearly tell he knows exactly the effect he has on you.

Once the three bodyguards make sure you are all settled in the car and nothing is wrong, they gently pat the hood of the vehicle, letting the driver know you are all settled and ready to begin your ride back to the hotel. There is a tinted window divider separating the two of you and the driver, and a few bottles of liquor sitting on the small compartments next to you. You look around mesmerized, almost as if it is the first time you have ever been in a car like this.

You are pulled away from your thoughts when you feel your boyfriend's arm wrapping around your shoulder, "an innocent and caring action," you think to yourself, but it doesn't last long. Before you notice, Hanji's hand is already taking hold of your left breast over the shirt, the action alone earns a small moan out of you.

"H-Hanji..." His name falls from your lips with ease, leaving behind a sweet taste that could only be compared to your favorite candy. He smirks.

"Can't wait, princess," he whimpers softly, his fingers slowly but firmly traveling down your body and finding their way inside your panties, that devilish smile stamped on his face like he just struck gold, "you're already so wet for me."

You cry out softly, your body instinctively moving closer to his, his hand grabbing hold of your right thigh and placing it on top of his legs before returning to your breast, freely showing your most private parts to anyone who might see. Luckly for the two of you, the windows are completely blacked out, so privacy is not an issue at the moment, but it's not as if the two of you are even paying attention to it.

He starts off slow, only one finger at first and only up to the second knuckle. His gaze is hungry, like he is ready to devour you whole, but he takes it slow, wanting to make sure you are ok with what he is doing. You nod, giving him permission to continue, to do more, oh so much more, but he doesn't change his pace.

"I... I need to hear you say it," he whispers, almost a nervous edge to his voice. You smile softly, nuzzling your face against his neck and whimpering, your hips moving forward slightly as you grind yourself against his finger.

"More... Please, Hanji," you whimper, desperately calling out to him, giving him the permission he has been desperately craving. Those three words are all that it takes for him to pick up his pace, adding a second finger as he continues to move them around inside of you, making sure you can clearly feel how thoroughly he is touching you.

You cry out for him, whimpering his name like it's a prayer. The hand that isn't busy with your pussy has now found its way inside your shirt, pulling it up slightly and revealing your nipples to him. With his index and middle finger, Hanji pinches the small bud, twisting it around ever so gently while his dominant hand continues to focus on making you feel good.

His lips hungrily meet yours, trying to keep your moans contained. You can see his cock twitching inside of his pants, how desperately he needs to be inside of you, but you also know how much he is enjoying this, so you keep your hands to yourself.

You look down for a second and you can clearly see his fingers moving, his promise ring nearly disappearing inside of you now that he has added a third finger as the very tip of his digits makes contact with your cervix. Desperately, you try not to cry out, you try not to get the driver's attention as Hanji continues to fuck you with his hand. Your eyes are closed shut, to the point that it nearly hurts but, even then, you can tell he is pleased with himself, that stupid smirk is still on his lips.

"You sound beautiful, baby," he whispers, his fingers pulling out from inside of you before they come back inside deeper than before, earning a yelp out of you, "shhh, shh baby, be a little quieter for me, ok?" He whispers and you want to curse him, knowing damn well he is doing all of this on purpose.

"F-fuck you," you whimper, your head leaning back onto the seat as you close your eyes shut, "you want be to be quiet or do you want to h-hear me?"

Hanji snorts slightly, his fingers picking up in speed, curling and spreading inside of you in a desperate attempt to hear you crying out his name. He purrs for a second before responding, "call for me, but do it quietly."

You nod, your body already beginning to tighten around his fingers. While his digits work inside of you, he brings his thumb up to your aching clit, adding an additional layer of pleasure. His free hand continues to squeeze and twirl your nipples as his lips continue their attack on your neck. You look like a mess, coming undone beneath his touch while a few flashes from paparazzi's cameras come from outside.

"They can't see us," he whispers, knowing you are worried about it, "I made sure of it. So, let yourself go for me, my princess."

With those simple words, the simple calling you of that pet name, it's like a wave of pleasure washes over you. Your hips buck upwards towards his fingers and your back arches against the seat, you can't help but cry out his name, no matter how quiet you try to be, you are certain the driver and any other cars around you are able to hear the desperation in your voice as you come.

"Hanji!!!!!" His name is like a lifeline, you cling to it as if it is the only thing keeping you afloat. Your voice nearly shatters as the waves of pleasure wash over all of your senses. His grip on you is tight, holding you in place as he is afraid you might actually collapse to the ground, his fingers still working inside of you, fighting a battle against your body as it tightens so desperately that it nearly pushes him out against your will.

But it's the way your hair is now glues to your face, a tear of pleasure streaming down your cheeks that does him in. His grip on you in nearly painfully tight and he is scared it might leave a mark, but he can't control himself. Seeing you in this messy state, for and because of him, is enough to send him over the edge as well, painting the inside of his tight jeans.

"Fuck..." He curses under his breath, his face buried against the side of your neck, "oh, you did so good, princess."

Slowly, he pulls his fingers out, leaving an empty sensation behind. You want him again. You want more. You want to feel his fingers grabbing your breasts, his lips peppering your skin with kisses and his cock throbbing inside of you. You want him, all of him. Desperately, ardently, urgently.

As he is about to wipe your essence away on his shirt, you grab his wrist. He shoots you a confused look, which slowly morphs into desire and finally lands on a look of surprise, a small whimper exiting his throat as his eyes can't seem to focus on anything that isn't you.

You part your lips, taking his digits into your mouth. Your warm tongue swirls around them, your face burns as you taste yourself against his skin but your eyes remain focused on his nevertheless. The way he blushes and cries out softly, or the way he is already hardening in his wet pants once more. You don't stop until there is no amount of your essence left on him, only your saliva.

The two of you cling to each other, panting for what feels like forever but couldn't have been longer than a minute or two. Before either of you are ready, you arrive at the hotel the band has been staying, the entrance surrounded by paparazzies who already attempt to get a small peak inside the car.

Hanji sighs, pulling away from you as the two of you fix your clothing. He looks down at the area between his legs, analyzing just how much of a mess he's made. "Can I borrow your jacket?"

You chuckle and hand him the clothing item, "make sure the knot of the sleeves is covering perfectly what you need to keep hidden." In response, Hanji rolls his eyes, a muffle "yeah, yeah" coming out of his mouth.

Once the two of you are settled, he takes your hand, "I will never ask you to come out in public with me. Not until you are ready."

You immediately shake your head, smiling gently as his free hand touches the knob, "Let's do this."

"No Name Guitarist finally spotted with new girlfriend. How long have they been together? Who is she? Here's everything you need to know!"

"Fans torn in half between being heartbroken and happy as new girlfriend of Hanji Zoe finally shows her face."

"Mystery Girl who stole the heart of rockstar Hanji Zoe finally revealed, and she is just as pretty as you would think!"

[valkyriexo]

Microphones and Mistakes

ᑉ³pairing; Dad! Husband! Bangchan x idol! Reader

ᑉ³genre; Angst

ᑉ³warnings; Implied unwanted pregnancy, Arguments, Cursing

ᑉ³Authors Note; This is my first Tumblr Fic! Thank you so much for reading <3 Edited! Please let me know if there are any warnings I am missing!

ઇଓ Part 2

"We will be ready to start again in 5," a staff member near the sound booth said. You sighed as you plopped yourself down on the side of the stage. Another staff member ran over to you with water and a new microphone.

"I'm sorry about all the issues, Y/N. We're working to fix them now, and I assure you it won't happen again," he said, handing you the water.

"Thank you," was the only answer you could provide. Anxiously, you sat on the side of the stage, getting your in-ear monitors fixed, already feeling frustrated and out of breath.

This was your debut performance of the highly anticipated Stray Kids X Y/N song. Countless late nights had been dedicated to crafting this masterpiece, with you and your husband Chan pouring your hearts and souls into every lyric and melody. The song had soared to the top of the charts in a matter of days due to its popularity, which brought immense pressure. Any misstep during this crucial performance could spell disaster for both of your upcoming comebacks, tarnishing the success you had worked so tirelessly to achieve. You had run through the performance once, but unexpected sound issues had arisen, causing you to be behind schedule.

Chan, usually by your side and supportive, was busy with his own schedule, making sure he and the kids were prepared for the performance as well.

You scanned the room, watching staff buzzing around and fixing what you could only imagine were other issues. Each staff member moved with purpose, adjusting lights, checking sound equipment, and ensuring every detail was in place for the upcoming performance.

Amidst the chaos, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves. You let the sounds wash over you, the cacophony blending into a soothing rhythm. With each deep breath, you felt the tension slowly ebbing away, replaced by a sense of quiet determination.

Then, you heard it.

The wailing of your almost 4-year-old son, Kai. He had decided that this particular moment was the perfect time to be anything but calm. He cried and wailed incessantly, much to the dismay of the nanny who had been entrusted with his care. Your eyes shot open to see Kai running towards you, with the nanny following just a few steps behind.

"Mommy!" Kai wailed as he ran into your arms.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. He slipped out of my hands and has been crying all afternoon, and I turned for one second to grab him a toy, and he ran off," the nanny explained.

"It's okay," you replied, turning your attention to the crying boy in front of you. "I w-wanna be with M-Mommy!" Kai cried out.

"Kai, sweetheart, you know you can't be in here." You replied running your hands through his hair.

"But Mommy—"

"No buts. Baby, I'm sorry, but both Mommy and Daddy have to work. You have to stay with your Nanny," you said gently, hoping to lure him back to his nanny. But Kai's disappointment was evident as he cried even more.

"We're ready to start again, Y/N," a staff member said ignoring the scene taking place in front of him.

"But I don't like Nanny!" Kai protested, his voice rising in pitch as frustration bubbled within him.

Your patience wavered, the pressure of the impending performance weighing heavily on your shoulders. "Kai, I understand, but you have to be a big boy for me, alright? Mommy and Daddy need to work. We'll spend lots of time together later, I promise."

His bottom lip jutted out in a pout, his tear-streaked face a portrait of stubborn defiance. "I don't want later, I want now!"

Feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, and with Chan nowhere in sight, the only solution in your head was this. You scooped Kai up, adjusting his soundproofing headphones as you got in place to begin the song.

But Kai seemed determined to make his displeasure known. As the music played, and you began to sing, you felt his tiny hands grasp onto your microphone, tugging at it with all his might. In the midst of the commotion, he also managed to yank out one of your in-ear monitors, leaving you disoriented and struggling to hear the music properly.

What you didn't realize is that Kai also had his sippy cup in his hand. With all the commotion, it popped open and spilled—

All over you.

As the music shifted, symbolizing the entrance of Stray Kids, you shot Kai a look, hoping to get him to behave. Your eyes met Chan's, and he shot you and Kai a look of confusion. He noticed you were struggling, and he quickly sprang into action. Despite needing to sing and dance during the sound check, he took Kai into his arms, attempting to calm him down while still fulfilling his duties on stage.

Meanwhile, with your microphone dangling precariously from one hand and your in-ear monitors in the other, you tried your best to soldier on. But the frustration was evident on your face as you struggled to maintain your composure amidst the chaos. The song ended, and you heard your manager through the one remaining in-ear monitor.

"Y/N, what's going on? This is your second run with all the issues fixed, and this one was worse than the first. We don't have time to do this again."

Out of frustration, you pulled the in-ear monitor out of your ear. Without a word, you stormed off the stage, taking Kai out of Chan's arms, leaving him and the rest of the kids behind.

You brought Kai into a nearby room and crouched down in front of him, your anger simmering just beneath the surface.

The sight in front of you was painful. Your little boy stood there, looking so innocent with the cup and a piece of your in-ear monitor in hand.

You couldn’t believe it.

You fought to maintain your composure, but couldn’t. The soft sound of approaching footsteps only served to heighten your frustration, pushing you dangerously close to your breaking point. With each passing moment, the pressure mounted, a simmering rage threatening to boil over.

"What the hell, Kai?" You let out. "What is wrong with you today? You misbehave all morning, are mean and fussy with your nanny, and then look," you said, pointing at yourself, "you pulled off my microphone and in-ears and spilled your juice all over me." The little boy stared back at you with big brown eyes and a pout on his face.

"I've raised you better than this, Kai. What is wrong with you?!" You raised your voice a little, causing Kai to jump. He took little steps quickly to hide behind his father, who was now standing in the room. His little hands were shaking, and his lips were quivering.

Chan's eyes softened as he felt little hands grip his pants.

"Baby...What's going on?" he said to you, picking up his son with one hand, wiping the tears that began to stream down his face once again. "Don’t stress out, baby. It's okay,"

"No, Chan. It's not okay. He's constantly disobeying, and every time he does, you just wipe his tears and let it slide. That's why he keeps repeating these behaviors. You've coddled him so much that we can't even put him down for a few minutes!" You groaned frustrated as you stood.

"Y/n, it's fine. He's just a baby—" You shot a pointed look at him instantly, causing him to fall silent and redirect his attention to his son, who was clinging to his shirt.

"I'm s-sorry," Kai choked on his sobs.

Chan's heart melted at his little pout. "It's okay, baby, no need to cry. Daddy's got you," Chan wiped the tears from his cheeks and gently took the cup from his tiny little hands. "Y/N, look what you've done, now he's panicking."

"Seriously Chan?" you replied, clearly annoyed.

"He's just a kid! Kids cry, they make mistakes. He's still learning, Y/N. We need to guide him, not scold him," his voice grew louder with frustration.

"So how exactly do you plan to teach him? By comforting him, telling him it's alright, and then forgetting about it, knowing he'll repeat the same behavior in the future?"

"HE'S A CHILD, Y/N! He learns through trial and error. He doesn't fully comprehend right from wrong yet. Why do you always resort to yelling? And why am I always the one expected to properly care for him?"

"Properly care for him? I'm the only one who does since you're hardly ever home! I do everything for him. I—"

"Stop being a poor parent and actually teach him. For someone who didn't want a kid, you're oddly protective of him."

You stared blankly at him.

You, the one who was up day and night when Kai was sick, While Chan was working in the studio

You, the only one who took him to all of his appointments, dance classes, games, and events, while Chan was away on tour.

You, the only one who sat with him when he was struggling with homework, when Chan was too tired to stay awake.

You, the one who took care of Kai and never took a break, while Chan never did.

You.

The tension in the air was thick. The shocked gasp that left your mouth was painful. Your head started to spin, your eyes turning red as your body started to overheat. The emotions you felt were overwhelming. Your eyes landed on your son, who was covering his face in his father's chest, as Chan's eyes grew wider and wider, realizing the weight his words had on you.

"I'm- I'm sorry," the little boy squealed again.

"It's okay, baby," Chan comforted his shivering body.

"Well, maybe since I'm such a poor parent and a terrible teacher, I should let you handle it all on your own then," you said, brushing past him and your son and closing the door behind you on your way out.

You were stunned, your mind struggling to process everything. Your hands felt icy, and the weight of it all became too much to bear. You were exhausted from constantly putting up a front, tired of shouldering everyone else's burdens.

You longed for the freedom you once had, to reclaim your own life.

The urge to flee, to escape from it all, gnawed at your thoughts.

Yes, you cherished Chan and the life you shared, but you yearned to rediscover yourself. You craved to feel cherished, to be loved by your husband like you once were. You wished to relive the carefree days of youth, to experience love anew.

You made your way to the dressing room, seeking solace. Despite the turmoil within, you had a show to perform tonight. Sitting down, you took a deep breath, gazing at your reflection in the mirror. Tears welled up in your eyes, staining your cheeks.

No.

You refused to let the chaos of the moment ruin the performance ahead. With determination, you steadied yourself, forcing a smile.

The show must go on.

ઇଓ Part 2

ઇଓ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support ♡ | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like ♡ | © 2024 Valkyriexo 

[faerygrant]

waiting room - carmen berzatto x reader.

summary: Carmen’s neglect of your relationship finally comes to a boiling point on the eve of your ten month anniversary.

The table had been set, your favourite China, courtesy of Pete and Nat upon their return from a couples trip two months ago. The bathroom adorned with rose petals and illuminated by a fiery orange flame, vanilla bean scent of your overpriced candles billowing throughout. The bubbles hadn’t subsided, still foamy and enlarged, though you were sure the water had probably gone cold by now.

You sunk to your knees, the caps hitting the cold hexagon shaped tiles leaving you to slightly shudder. All at once, you blew the candles out, the itch in your throat only growing. At any moment now you knew you’d crack, it was only a matter of time.

Once the candles were blown out, the tub drained leaving the damp petals to cling to the sides of the bathtub you made your way back to the dining room, the glistening China never failing to catch your attention.

You took a seat, the Picarde you’d worked so hard on preparing for Carmy was still placed in the middle of the table, covered by aluminium foil. The 2006 bottle of Barossa Shiraz, a gift from his uncle, peaked your interest leading you to pour a glass full for yourself.

With your glass in hand, wrapped up in your white robe you scattered out of the dining and into the living area, where you sat solemnly on the sofa. You’d taken off the dress you’d bought specifically for this night, if Carmy couldn’t remember to even show for your ten month anniversary, there was no reason he deserved the effort you put into looking nice for him.

Your relationship had started of very spur of the moment, introduced to him by a friend in highschool you’d lost contact once he set off for New York but still frequently thought about him. Once he was back in Chicago the two of you were set up on a date by said friend and things took off from there. The honeymoon stage had been almost perfect, his time, attention, affection it was all on you. But as the restaurant became busier and business grew, his attention shifted and his attempts to keep you happy had turned lousy.

So here you were, clad in your white bathrobe and a two piece set from agent provocateur you’d planned on surprising him with. A glass of Shiraz in hand and a heart that was slowly breaking every second the man you loved remained away from you.

At least 30 minutes had gone by and by this point the bottle of Shiraz had found it’s way into your lap, when the sound of the keys fiddling sounded from the door.

“Yo, you still up?” Carmen’s voice calls from behind the sofa, though you make no effort to acknowledge him. You can smell a mix of cologne and cigarette on him as he rounds the sofa and takes a seat by you. He makes no mention of your silence, almost as if he doesn’t notice it. Instead he opts to toe off his shoes and stretch into the chair.

“We were fucked today, Syd and I tried to keep shit running smoothly but we shat the bed with the new recipe. Salty as fuck, don’t think that balsamic glaze could save it” he speaks, his hands covering his face as he leans backwards, clad in his usual pristine white tee and black slacks. You once again simply ignore his words, waiting for him to address the elephant in the room.

“You listenin’ or am I talking to myself?” He brings his hands away from his face, finally acknowledging you. You place your glass of wine down and simply shrug.

“Alright what the fuck is the matter? You fuckin ignored my texts all day, I tried not to make a big deal of it, now m’home tryna’ tell you about my day and you’re not sayin’ shit?” He yells, louder than necessary, the vein in his neck bulging like it always does when he’s upset. His outbursts don’t frighten you though, not anymore atleast.

“What day is it today Carmen?” You quietly whisper, arms crossed over the other, your fingers playing with the fuzzy fabric of your robe.

“I-I don’t fuckin’ know, Wednesday?” He questions, elbows on his knees as he stares at you intensely.

“No, I mean what’s the fucking date today Carmen?”

“The 24th, why is this relev-“ he pauses for a second and instantly his eyes bulge. “Oh fuck, oh shit.”

“Exactly.” You mumble, watching as he goes red, already beating himself up.

“I’m so fuckin sorry, I- I fuck- I don’t even- fuck.” He yells, standing up and pacing the living area, refusing to meet your gaze.

“I’m a fuckin idiot, I’m sorry, I’m so fuckin sorry I don’t even know how I could forget I just, I- I don’t know.” He blabbers and you simply shrug. Your silence killing him.

“Say somethin, fucks sakes, anything.” He pleads with you.”

“I have nothing to say Carmen.” You stand from the sofa, face to face with him, his eyes already fling red, tears rolling down his red face and stray hairs sticking to his forehead.

“Please, fuckin take it out on me I deserve it” he grabs your arms placing them against his chest, pleading with you to hurt him like he hurt you.

“Fine, you want me to take it out on you, I will. I planned this whole dinner, a special night for the two of us since you’ve been working nonstop for the last two months and in return you couldn’t even remember our anniversary. I’ve tried Carmy, so hard to be understanding of your job but I can’t be left to wait for you forever.” A lone tear dropping from your eyes, as you watched his face fall in realisation.

“What’re you doin?, hm what’re you tryna say?” He yells with urgency. The purple-ish blue veins bulging and illuminating his pale skin.

“Carmen I’m not going to be left in the waiting room forever, I refuse to be second in a game I know I’ll never win. Your job means the world to you and I’m not going to make you choose.”

“You- I- please don’t do this, don’t do this, please don’t fuckin do this. I- I lo- I love you” He sniffles, hands bringing your face to his, both your heads leaning against the others.

“It’s for the better.” You whisper, eyes closed, forehead against his and heart shattering.

[himimosa]

when they are sick

taking care of bsd men when they are sick...

fyodor, kunikida, dazai

Fyodor Dostoevsky

He is the person who walks around sick for almost half of a year, with a lot of sniffs and sneezes. Somehow he can manage to catch a cold even in summer. You say it is because he has an awful immune system

He already has anemia that makes his body weak. And if a bad cold is added too, he becomes almost pathetic...

If you ask him, he says he is used to being sick most of the time, but that is not true. He tried to take pills a few times for his anemia but they were useless (no, i am not self-projecting here, nope)

Most of the time, he can pull to do his work even if that means carrying tissues with him everywhere.

He hates the times when he got extra bad cold, it causes delays in his work. He is not someone who will accept to see a doctor even though his fever runs high. So if you're going to accompany him, you have to use more conventional ways...

You know hot soup, warm shower, herbal teas... He will act like you are being too "histrionic" and he is doing fine, but he will appreciate it secretly...

You put a mix of mint and linden leaves into the french press, added a tiny piece of ginger, and then poured hot water. After you waited for a while you poured out the liquid through a strainer. You had chosen your fav “I like mugs because they’re very comfortable in your hand” mug for it.

You entered the room where Fyodor was laying, he was trying to read a book but he was coughing constantly. You pulled the book from his hands: "Please drink this and rest a little. I am sure your book can wait for you." you scolded him lightly. He didn't argue with you, which was a sign that he was really feeling bad.

He took the mug, and looked at the writing on it "I don't understand why this is written on a mug" You chuckled "Because either you don't have a sense of humor or you have never heard Demi Lovato before dear.."

"Is it really an inadequacy of me that I don't get the references from the pop culture that was brought to people by no one but-"

"Darling darling..." you interrupted him "You can talk for hours about fatuity of popularism later, but I am begging you, drink this tea. now..."

He was annoyed by your interruption but he complied with your request. He sniffed before taking a sip. Then his face turned into a disgusted expression.

"Did you put ginger in this tea?.."

Kunikida Doppo

This poor man will go through the 5 stages of grief in order...

Denial: "I am not sick, I just got shivers for a second! This doesn't mean anything!" "No, I don't look awful or tired, I am fine!"

Anger: "This is because of that Dazai asshole! That nasty bastard sneezed right into my face and contaminated me with his viruses!"

Bargaining: "...Okay some inconveniences might happen but it's not that bad", "I will drink this tea and get better in an instant. No, I don't need a break, I will be fine"

Depression: "... What will happen to the agency if I use two days off?" "...my program... I will be left behind on it.."

Acceptance: "..President, may I use two days off to recover?"

He knew it is natural to get sick for people... But it wasn't written in his ideals book... He must add some notes about this too...

All he wants is quickly recover and get back to his responsibilities. So he will see a doctor, he will take his medicines, will drink all the herbal tea he needs to drink...You don't have to do much indeed, he is someone who takes care of himself well. But this doesn't mean he won't appreciate it if you do some thoughtful things for him...

"I'm home" you called to him when you entered the house with your keys. You dropped the bags that you got from the grocery store to the kitchen. You could organize them later, you went right ahead to the room where Kunikida was resting. He tried to get up to greet you but you acted quicker and hugged him while he was still sitting. He froze for only one second, then slowly wrapped his arms around you

"Y/N... You shouldn't be this close to me, you will get sick too..." He murmured but didn't push you away too. You shrugged your shoulders while still hugging him "Then I will use a day off with my sick boyfriend, that doesn't seem so bad to me" Kunikida chuckled lightly "If we both use a day off at the same time, I can't imagine what sort of chaos would the agency have..." Then he slowly pulled himself back to see you eye-to-eye and started to ask you questions... How is the agency going? Were budget calculations accurate? Have you taken new cases? What kind of ruckus did Dazai cause when he wasn't around to lecture him? How many calls did you get for his suicide attempts this time?

You told him about how you took care of everything on his behalf with everyone's help (well mostly with the help of Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings... basically with minors of Ada...) But even Dazai wasn't acting so "wild". He was whining about how the agency became too quiet and no-fun without Kunikida and all the joy he got from work vanished without Kunikida...

"Everyone can't wait to get you better love they are planning to visit you tomorrow night," you told with a smile. Kunikida coughed and covered his mouth, then mumbled: "I see..." You knew he did it to hide the light blush and embarrassed smile on his face, but you didn't tease him for it. After all, he was deserving it all...

Dazai Osamu

Here comes the drama king...

First, let's be honest here... He is treating his own body like shit... We saw him in his flat, this man doesn't even cook for himself. He literally feeds with sake and canned crabs only... Despite that, he doesn't get sick easily. He has the durability of a cockroach (i swear i love him, these insults are with affection)

He is the kind of person who doesn't get sick even there is a cold season and everyone around him got ill. He catches the sickness not more once than a year, but when he gets ill, it is always the most unexpected time.

Once, while he was still in the port mafia he got a very bad cold right before an important mission. When Mori saw his situation, he had to cancel the mission.

Because this man acts like he is on the deathbed when he is sick...

"So I made some research on the internet... With all these symptoms on me; either I have some kind of chronic illness, or brain tumor.. which leads us to the conclusion that I have only 2 weeks to live..." "Or, you have a cold, you shithead.." "Do not act like you are a doctor now Chuuya, or I will throw up to your precious hat..."

He didn't change much... The only difference is now he is being your boyfriend, you have to take care of this man like you are taking care of a child. He will act like he is much worse than he is to get all your affection and care... You will need a lot of patience, to be honest...

"Ew, there is no way I would drink that crap!" You thought for a millisecond to throw the bowl of soup to his face but you didn't have the heart for it. Even though he was acting like a spoiled brat, he was miserable right now. You knew he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, you had to convince him to put something in his stomach no matter what...

"Why don't you want to drink this babe?" you asked with your sweetest tone. Dazai shrugged his shoulders "It smells bad, makes me want to puke..." You tried again "What if you push yourself? Just a little? I know it doesn't look appetizing but this soup is too good for cold, you will feel better after your drink I promise..."

Dazai looked at you with defeated eyes, he couldn't resist any longer "..fine then"

With excitement, you took one spoon from the bowl and carefully held it towards his mouth, you were cupping the other hand under the spoon to keep it from spilling. Dazai slowly opened his mouth, only to make a sour face "It is too hot!"

"Sorry baby, my bad" you apologized and started to cool it down by stirring it with the spoon. You took another spoon from the bowl, this time you blew a little air before giving it to Dazai. When he started to make some teasing comments on you would be a great nanny, you decided he was already getting better. You tried to get up after he finished his soup, but Dazai held you weakly by his wrist. "You won't leave me alone on my deathbed, right?" You rolled your eyes: "You're an idiot, you know that right?" He smirked lightly "But I am your idiot, and you still love me..." You couldn't control your smile this time. You gently removed the hair on his forehead and gave him a little peck "Yeap... Only mine to love..."

well, i couldn't still get over from this week's episode and couldnt't write anything new. this was on the drafts and not proof readed, but i will still share it. fyodor stans can use it as a denial of ep 11 :')

[disneyprincemuke]

banana cue + oscar piastri!!

beer * op81

word count: 979

oscar bites down on his tongue, your name still on his tongue. as of right now, he's only got one goal in his mind and that's to get drunk – like he's never experienced in his life. while he prides himself in controlling his alcohol, he simply couldn't see himself doing that tonight.

in the back of his mind is the pot of roses on the window sill, returned to him the day you'd solidified your breakup. he can barely look at it, much less think of the way it's still living and breathing in the same vicinity as him.

in his fit of rage the other day, he'd poured the remaining quarter of his beer pint into it hoping that it would somehow wilt the next morning.

you can only imagine his dismay when he woke up and the roses were still standing tall.

"i hope she doesn't forget," he says in a sad grimace, leaning forward on the table, cheek resting in his palm. his other hand drags the water droplets that's formed on the surface, tracing your name out.

lando, sitting next to him, raises an eyebrow in curiosity. "is everything okay? forget what?"

it's not lando's fault that he's clueless. oscar has yet to admit to his older teammate that he's parted ways with you, the girl he'd sworn he'd marry and live happily ever after with.

the kids he'd planned with you and the house you'd supposedly have built together in the suburbs to fall back on in the future.

that's all gone.

"mate," oscar whispers. he picks himself from the table and leans towards lando, head hung low with an arm loosely slung over the brit's shoulder. "i need you to promise me one thing tonight."

lando hums with furrowed eyebrows, truthfully still not knowing what the australian is rambling on about. “alright?”

“you need to make sure i get super drunk tonight.” he tears himself from lando and drops both hands on the table with a soft thud. “we broke up.”

he takes a swig of his beer pint and hisses at the taste as lando opens his mouth to respond. lando flinches slightly when oscar turns to him with a small grin. “this beer tastes amazing. good choice.”

“thanks?” lando tilts his head. he shakes his head. “what do you mean you broke up?”

“we had to break up,” oscar mutters.

oscar had been mourning your relationship is silence for the past 2 weeks. he hadn’t really known who he could turn to, really.

especially when the breakup had been prompted by his shortcomings, finding his schedule slowly getting harder to fit you into it. he doesn’t blame you for not wanting to stick around for it to free up — you deserve to not be in the backseat.

“she doesn’t want to wait around for me, you know? i’ve barely had the time to be with her,” oscar shakes his head, his hands balling into fists as the day you’d brought up the breakup vividly replays in his mind. “different stages of our lives or something like that, she said.”

he remembers the way you’d cried to him, confessing how much you’d miss him every single time he was away. admitting how much you wished that he hadn’t pursued racing because it was slowly getting tougher to spend so much time away from him.

you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and he couldn’t bring himself to blame you for not wanting to wait around for him.

graduation is right around the corner and life is just about to start for you.

his had already started the moment mclaren signed him into f1.

he takes another big gulp of his beer after he hears your whimper in the back of his mind, telling him that it’s just not the right time to keep the relationship.

“take it easy,” lando pleads, snatching the pint away from oscar gently, rubbing circles on his back. “the beer won’t make you feel any better.”

oscar hums and reaches back out for the pint that lando’s holding away from him. “maybe the beer will help drown my heart then i’ll stop missing her.”

lando scoffs, a hand coming up to try and swat oscar’s hand away. “possible alcohol poisoning won’t help you, i promise.”

“you don’t know that,” oscar hiccups. “the beer is so good, and not strong. my won’t really drown with that.” he drops his head. “but i sure hope it does.”

beer has never been oscar’s favourite drink. he’d found that the bitterness of the drink really helped to encapsulate how he’s truly felt over this entire situation.

he knows that it’s impossible to make it work with you. the vast difference in your current stages of life made it so difficult to connect at times; he’d felt you slip out of his grasp the moment he found success in his sport while he’d left you behind while you were still planning out your own future.

“you take a break after this pint,” lando grunts, putting the pint back down on the table. he inches towards the end of the booth they’re sitting in. “don’t go anywhere, mate. i’m going to get you a glass of water, alright? i got you.”

oscar watches with downturned eyes as the older man slips out of their booth, leaving him with his thoughts. he glances at his phone on the table as he takes another swig of his beer.

now he needs to decide: to continue drinking this god-sent beer, or tell you that he misses and loves you.

celebrate 4k with me!

@33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore

[solarlunarsstuff]

On Top 《|》 Dark!Coriolanus Snow X Tribute!Reader (CH. 1)

Synopsis: As being picked in the reaping, you get to see the hottest mentor while trying not to crash eye contact with any other tributes!

Tw: Nothing much, prolly sum fluff, hand holding.

A/n: This is a series!!! This will be the very first chapter, so stay tuned!!! 💋

Wc: 965

CH. 1 《|》 CH. 2 《|》 CH. 3 (COMING SOON)

Most people had a heart. Most. Nobody from the Capitol gave a shit about the weak from the 13 districts. Most people don't fight the reason that they were chosen on the reaping, but a big handful of them did.

That handful was you. Jerking your body away from the peacekeepers, trying to stay as far as you could. It was no use, they had an advantage against you. They had you dragged away into the lousy train after you had yelled, "YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY DI-"

It was sure of a way to exit stage left. You fought the tears you had forming on your lash line, sniffling a little as your dress bunched up where your fists were squeezing.

The train rumbled to a halt as peacekeepers yanked people out of the now open doors of the train. You swatted their hands away as you jumped out and reached your arms out to help a younger tribute out.

Once you felt a pair of eyes boring into the back of your head and a raspy voice clearing their throat. You whipped around and noticed a rather tall, blonde looking boy with ocean blue eyes.

"You must be (Y/N)?" He calmly smiled, a rosy tint was noticed in his cheeks

"You look lost, city boy" you remarked rather playfully while looking up at him.

He chuckled at your response. "Most mentors don't see their tributes this early yet I thought it would be a nice thing to do, either way, welcome to the Capitol" his smiled widened a bit.

He moved his hand in front of you, holding a white rose. "Coriolanus. Coriolanus Snow" Coryos' smile turned into a light smirk

"Fancy name, Coryo" you had guessed his nickname making his rosy tint to become more visible

He chuckled again. "I thoug-" you had gotten cut off by a peacekeeper pushing you towards another train, or a cage you could say.

"Hey-" Coryo said out loud. Causing a peacekeeper to send him a 'shut the fuck up' kind of glare, making him shut right up.

He creeped near the cage and noticed that a tribute was attempting to escape but soon was chased by two peacekeepers.

Criolanus took the chance and jumped right into cage along with you and the other 24 tributes. (I'm guessing)

The cage went dead silent as the doors were shut and it moved along while all eyes were glued onto coriolanus.

"This is rather lovely" he broke the silence, eyes scanning the new faces and his eyes landing on you.

A tribute leaped onto coriolanus and had him backed up into the rusty wall, forcing pressure on his lungs.

You didn't really catch anything other than "Let's kill him" you shot up, a little taken back about what the tribute had said.

"He's my mentor-" you tried to explain

The tribute scoffed and backed off of him, giving a cold glare to the both of you.

Coriolanus coughed a bit and fixed up his blonde hair, the cage came to a screeching to a stop. The Two doors had swung open and the cage started to tip over, basically pouring them out like water.

Coriolanus grabbed you by your waist and used his other hand to grab the back of your head, you had a very visible flushed out face.

As you both slid into, what seemed to be a zoo? A zoo for tributes? Either way people in the same outfit as coriolanus were standing on the outside of the bars.

Some gasps were audible but the only thing you were focused on was the way coriolanus was holding you.

☆ ☆ ☆

You were curled up in a ball-like position because of the cold until you heard someone call your name.

Your head perked up at the call of your name, you sat yourself up, rubbing your eyes to fend off the sleepiness.

You had gotten up and slowly creeped in the direction of the person, you were scared, yes. But once you saw that curly blonde hair you eased up.

Now running to his direction.

"Coryo!" You sighed out in relief, trying not to wake up anybody else.

"Lets get you out of here.." he said while looking at you

It looked like you had been crying since you had stains on your cheeks, his soft hands caressed your cheek in an attempt to wipe them away. You leaned into his touch.

Coryo pulled his hand away and pointed to a corner that the light they provided when it was dark barely reached.

It looked like it had a bent bar that hadn't been fixed, it seemed big enough for a person to slip through. If you held your breath.

You slowly crawled over, trying not to make noise. Coriolanus got up and swiftly sprinted to the end that he was talking about.

You tried squishing yourself through both of the bars that had been spread out. You got your top half through but it was to small for your hips to go through.

"Shit..." you grumbled

"Back up" Coryo demanded as you backed out of the bars.

He leaned back on his hands and used his right foot to kick the bar at and angle, it was obviously loud but he made it quick.

Coriolanus had made it wide enough for you to fit through, you made it out with Coryo's help. A few tributes started to wake up.

Thank god it was dark, you and him hurried out while giggling like a bunch of school girls talking about their crush.

It was a stupid teenage thing to do.

It gave you both a feeling, something unknown but it gave you a thrill. Holding his hand while running through the streets of the busy Capitol.

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 14th: Roomates | Come As You Are - Nirvana | Impulsive a/n: oops, this got smutty. (lex writing smut without 50k words first? what?!) steddie, bathtubs, handjobs, getting together, they're so in love it makes me sick <333 read on ao3 | link to masterpost on ao3

Eddie’s body aches. 

Not just today, not just because it’s rainy and damp. He hasn’t hurt himself recently, and he’s not recovering from a stage-diving related injury. His body aches because some days, it just does. 

No one leaves the Upside Down unscathed, least of all Eddie. Months of beeping machines and hourly checks in the intensive care unit turned into less frequent interruptions in the main floor. Slowly, this turned into home care at Wayne’s new trailer and, eventually, moving into a small apartment with quite possibly the most consistent surprise since that week from Hell began: Steve Harrington. 

It’s been strange, having Steve around so much. They work as roommates, knowing one another as well as they do. They’re never in the other’s way, maybe because they’re rarely ever apart when they’re in the apartment anyways. Besides, Eddie’s never hated the guy, just what he once stood for and maybe some of the company he’d kept but they’d never been friends either. Eddie’s not even sure if they’re friends now, truthfully. Most of his friendships have come about based on shared interests, not trauma or monsters. 

And definitely not shared baths. 

Eddie’s body aches, so Steve does what he’s done since he started helping Wayne care for Eddie in the earliest days of his recovery. He draws him a bath, and sits with him in lavender-scented warm water. Eddie hisses as his skin adjusts to the water, some wounds and scars still sensitive to temperature, as he sits in the space that’s been carved out for him over the past year between Steve’s legs, his back against Steve’s chest and his legs straight out in front of them. 

As his body acclimates and his muscles begin to relax, his head tips back to rest against Steve’s shoulder. It’d all started innocently enough, with Steve helping Eddie bathe in the earliest days of his recovery. But day by day, bath by bath, Eddie loses another layer of clothing, and then another layer of shame, until all that’s left is raw vulnerability in the comfort of Steve’s embrace. 

He’s not sure if they’re friends because as Steve carefully shampoos and rinses his hair, pours warm water over his shoulders, and massages the tightness in his neck, Eddie thinks they could be more. After all, he can count on one hand the number of friends whose cocks have been this close to his ass. On one finger, really. It’s just Steve. 

Eddie’s body aches, and for long moments, he sits with the silence that’s become comfortable between them as he thinks. His body aches for more Steve, for his hands to drift into the very few places they’ve yet to explore—

“Steve, at what point does this become uh, not platonic?” 

The words are supposed to stay in his head. The question is supposed to be a hypothetical one to himself that he never gets an answer to because he’ll never ask. His impulsive mouth gets the better of him. 

Steve doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t release the luxurious pressure of his thumbs into the knot he’s discovered between Eddie’s shoulder blades. Instead, Eddie feels his chest rumble with soft laughter before he responds.

“At what point did I say that it was?” 

“Well, we never said it wasn’t. Guess I assumed.” Eddie shivers and tilts his head to the right as Steve sweeps his hair to the left and presses his lips to the side of his exposed neck.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Ed, but I don’t make a habit of sitting dick-out with my friends in bathtubs. That’s just for you.” His lips trail from neck to shoulder to collarbone as his hand glides from where it rests on his stomach lower, lower, lower. 

“Steve…” Eddie whispers, hips moving on their own accord. 

“Can I touch you? I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long.” 

“Please, yes, please.” Eddie’s nearly embarrassed by the sound that escapes him, something akin to a whimper, something desperate. Nearly. 

He’s too far gone already to actually care because Steve wraps a hand carefully around Eddie’s hardening cock and glides slowly from root to tip, exploratory. Eddie’s surrounded by Steve and water and both make him feel weightless. 

This isn't going to last long, he knows.

Up and down, up and down, as Eddie falls deeper and deeper into a trance, nothing but their quickening breaths and the undulating, sloshing of the water around them. Steve sucks a few small bruises into his skin on top of his shoulder before working up and gently nipping at Eddie’s ear. 

“How’s it feel, baby? Feel good?” Steve whispers, hot and wet right into his ear. 

“So fucking good, should’ve said something so much earlier, Jesus Christ,” Eddie groans, letting one of his arms float up and tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck. 

“Mmm, yeah, should’ve. I should’ve made it more obvious too though, how fucking bad I’ve wanted you. So long, Ed, so long.” 

Eddie’s hips roll up and Steve wraps his free arm around Eddie’s torso, holding him close, safe. “I’m close, Steve, God, don’t stop, please.”

Steve's lips graze his ear as he keeps going. “I’ve got you, Eddie. I’ve always got you. Go ahead, come for me, baby. Let me see.” 

There’s something in the way Steve says always that sounds like a promise, an oath, and it knocks Eddie over the edge. He comes with a silent shout, his head dropping back to Steve’s shoulder as he feels rope after rope coat Steve’s hand and be swept away into the water. 

His ears ring and his vision goes white, the only outside stimulus that breaks through is the feeling of Steve's hands on him and Steve's voice. Distantly, Eddie registers Steve praising him, talking him through his orgasm, telling him how beautiful he is. Eventually, his body goes limp and Steve swaps arms, using his clean hand to turn Eddie’s face by the chin. He captures Steve’s lips against his own, an awkward angle for a first kiss, and it’s not lost on Eddie that Steve’s now had his dick in his hand before they’d even kissed. 

They’ve never done anything traditionally anyways. 

“Eddie?” Steve starts, breaking the kiss and looking at him with glassy eyes and a crooked grin. 

“Yeah?” Eddie returns the smile.

Steve pushes a piece of wet, curly hair out of Eddie's face. “I meant it, what I said. I’ve always got you, for as long as you want me to.” 

Eddie’s body aches with a truth that he’s known for at least a year, one that he wants to say aloud. One that he hopes Steve feels, too. 

But tonight’s been a night of confessions already, and Eddie can’t help but feel that tonight is just the beginning, the beginning of many more nights with plenty of opportunities for declarations and commitments. 

“Careful with those promises, Stevie. That might be a really long fucking time.” 

Steve hums and kisses him again, soft and slow, one hand in his hair. 

“Good.”

[dudadragneel]

YOU BLINKED AND HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER SICKFIC (a little drabble, but an interesting one)

🦄 So I was watching the recent SKZ talker right and there was this scene (I’ll link it) and I got this idea. So it’s after one of their performances and they’re all really exhausted. So I thought, imagine him feeling really really dizzy and nauseous so you tell him that it’s probably because he hasn’t eaten so you sit down next to him while he eats. But he doesn’t stop feeling sick to he tells you that he’s going to the bathroom and leaves for a while but then he texts you saying he needs you to come to him. When you get there you ask him what’s wrong and he asks you to help him throw up.

Thank you, dear Liza! For making this cute header, I loved it 💜🥹

120% EFFORT

To say their choreographies were hard was an understatement. They never ceased to amaze you when it came to performances. And for this last comeback? S-Class? Sometimes you got yourself wondering if they were really humans and what went through their mind when creating such hard choreos.

You were watching as they recorded for one of the music shows over and over again, and couldn't help but feel amazed and tired for them. Unfortunately they had to record this several times if there was even the tiniest mistake, given how perfectionist they were.

Your eyes were glued on Hyunjin, he always gave 120% on his dance no matter how tired or injured he was, as you had already seen before.

He looked absolutely amazing and mesmerizing and everytime you thought to yourself that the take was perfect, they did it one more time. It was safe to say that they recorded at least 5 times.

When they finally managed to get the perfect stage, everyone was sweating as if water had been poured on them and were completely out of breath.

You were waiting for Hyunjin in the dressing room along with the staff and cheered when the boys entered the room. They were all out of breath and clearly tired but had sincere smiles across their faces nonetheless.

You ran to Hyunjin hugging him and kissing him as you congratulated him on another amazing performance.

- Honey! That was awesome!

- Thank you babe.

You were happy but you noticed right away when you got close to him that something seemed off, he was sweating too much and was a little bit pale.

- You okay?

- Yeah...I just feel really dizzy...and sick...

- You're probably tired. You danced five times in a row. And you haven't eaten much today right?

- hm...

- Then let's eat.

- Okay .

Hyunjin was feeling nauseous but also hungry, and those two feelings were fighting watch other inside his stomach and he wasn't happy about that. But he knew that not eating anything would just worsen the nausea he was already feeling.

You handed him a packed lunch and sat down next him with the boys for a well-deserved meal. Just like their choreographies, it also amazed you how much these boys could eat. Which wasn't a surprise given how much they danced and worked, and it also explained why they didn't gain as much weight.

They kept chatting about the performance and how STAYs were really excited even if they were watching the same stage more than once.

But Hyunjin was quiet, he just ate slowly engaging in the conversation every so often. You noticed it and also did the boys.

- Hyune-ah, you okay?

- Hm? Yeah.

He said looking up and chewing his food. He looked way too cute even though he was clearly not that well.

- You sure? You look off...

- I'm just tired...

The boys went back to the conversation and you kept eating and looking at Hyunjin, noticing how he still looked pale and sweaty.

He was feeling horrible, something wasn't right. His stomach was gurgling and the nausea wasn't going away, no matter how much he ate or drink, that awful feeling just insisted on lingering around.

He felt something weird in his stomach, it wasn't pain but it also felt too strange to be nausea but he knew he needed to go to the bathroom. He put down whatever he was eating and wiped his hands, that were starting to tingle a little.

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom...

- Hm? Okay.

He grabbed his phone and left. In the hallway to the bathroom he started praying that it didn't have anybody there, he didn't want to be sick in front of people. But before he got to the bathroom, what he was feeling in the dressing room had gotten a bit worse. The tingling sensation in his hands had increased, his stomach felt heavy and his breathing was strange, he felt out of breath as if he has just gotten off stage and his vision had black dots.

Shit! Am I gonna faint?

That's what crossed his mind, he needed to get to that bathroom quickly. He just turned around the corner and entered the bathroom and went straight into one of the stalls and closed it behind him.

He lost strength in his legs and kneeled in front of the toilet, the weird feeling in his stomach increased ten fold and he ducked his head in the toilet as a harsh gag cut through his body but nothing came out. He started feeling cold and hot at the same time, he felt cold sweat soaking his outfit and he was sure his makeup was melting off his face.

Another strong wave of nausea made him gag unproductively again and it just kept adding strain to his already tired body.

The dual feeling of burning and being cold got worse, his hands and mouth were tingling and his stomach kept feeling weird. He managed to stand up a little, only to stumble to the wall next to him, thank God for that wall, and then faint.

You were starting to get worried, it had been a few minutes since he left and he still hadn't come back.

- Y/n, where's Hyunjin?

- He said he was going to the bathroom.

- Is he okay?

- I hope so...

A few minutes later you got a text from him:

- babe. Can you come here?

- What happened?

- I'm not feeling well.

- Okay. Hold on.

- Shit!

You cursed under your breath and the boys noticed.

- what's wrong?

- Hyunjin just texted me. He said he's not feeling well.

- Really?

- I'll go see what's wrong. I'll text you guys.

- okay

-IN THE BATHROOM A FEW MINUTES BEFORE-

Hyunjin slowly regained consciousness, his ears were still ringing and his vision was fuzzy. Thankfully he didn't fall on the ground, he managed to slid down the wall on a sitting position.

Along with the confusion of trying to take in his surroundings and taking control back of his body, his stomach felt even worse than before with a strong wave of nausea suddenly ripping through him making him stumble to the toilet just in time for a harsh gag bring up an insignificant amount of saliva and bile, considering how miserable he felt.

He kept kneeling in front of the toilet, trying to expell whatever was revolting inside him in failed attempts.

He tried gag forcefully and contract his stomach but nothing was working and the nausea persisted.

At some point he gave up, he felt miserable and in pain, his head was pounding and he still felt faint, so he decided to text you, he needed you by his side and your help.

- NOW -----

You ran to the bathroom as soon as you got the text and you didn't care if it was the men's restroom.

You entered and started calling Hyunjin, who answered weakly signaling he was at the last stall.

- Babe, I'm coming in.

You opened the door to find Hyunjin sitting down on the floor, leaning against the wall looking as white as the wall itself. His forehead was damp with sweat and he was shaking a little.

- Oh my god! Hyune! What happened baby!?

You said as you kneeled in front of him.

- I...I felt something weird in my stomach...I came here and tried to throw up but I ended up fainting...

- why didn't you tell me before you left the room?

- I don't know...I'm sorry...

- No, do not apologize.

You grabbed his hands and noticed how cold they felt.

- Babe....My stomach....

- what is it?

- I want to throw up...but I tried to and nothing's coming up...and the nausea just won't go away....help me, please.

- Okay. I'll help you.

You helped him position himself kneeling in front of the toilet while you stood by his side. His hair was already tied up from the stage so you could focus yourself on his stomach.

His mouth was filling up with saliva and kept spitting it out and forcing gags, but none of it were working so you decided to step up. You'd rather not have to do this but he was clearly in agony and he had asked you to do it.

- Babe, excuse me, okay?

- Hmm...

Instead of rubbing his back as you would normally do, you went for his stomach. You rubbed it gently, in circles, applying a little bit of pressure each time, trying to stimulate him.

He gagged a few times but still unproductive. You insisted on the approach a few more times.

- Babe, I'm sorry, I'll be a little more rough this time okay?

You said as you placed your hand exactly at the pit of his stomach and pressed it a little stronger than before. And again he gagged and only a thin stream of bile came out and both of you knew that wasn't everything that needed to come out.

- Babe...it just won't go away and my stomach just keeps gurgling...

There were tears forming in his eyes, his agony just insisted and it was hurting you to see him like this. You didn't want to resort to this method but it was the last thing up your sleeve to help him.

- Babe, I'll need to induce it okay? It's gonna be bad but bare with me, alright?

You kept one of your hands on his stomach while you stuck your fingers down his throat. At the same time you moved your fingers you pressed down a little harder on his stomach and as soon as you did that, he felt something rushing up his esophagus and a burp brought up a thick stream of undigested food that escaped through your fingers before hitting the toilet water with a sickening sound.

- There we go.

You said as you took out your hand and wiped it while the other kept rubbing his stomach.

Before he could catch his breath another stream gushed out of him, this time coming from his nose as well. And the texture was gross, he had just eaten so it all came back as thick as possible, which made it hard to come out, there was barely any liquid in his vomit, he could see everything he had eaten a few minutes ago and it just made him gag again.

He felt every chunk of food rushing up his throat and a cough made everything come out mixing with the rest on the toilet.

- That's it. You're doing good. Get everything out.

You kept rubbing his stomach and now his back as well, giving little taps from time to time to help him.

Something got caught in his throat which made him start coughing and that fit evolved to gags that were again unproductive and you knew there was more that needed to get out.

- Babe, I'll do it again, alright?

He just nodded and closed his eyes as you stuck your fingers down his throat one more time, repeating the process successfully. You felt vomit on your hand as Hyunjin jolted forward with another thick stream gushing out hitting the edges of the seat and unfortunately getting on your hands as you couldn't take it out in time, but it didn't bother you.

- 'm sorry...

He said quietly before another burp brought up another mouth full of vomit.

- It's okay, honey. Don't worry about it. Just focus on getting everything out.

You pat his back as well when he chocked on a piece of undigested food that got stuck on his throat, be coughed hard and a wet gag brought it out mixed with bile and thick saliva.

He was now left gagging and throwing up only thick saliva and bile, he felt tired and his body felt cold and hot at the same time.

- Honey, I think you're done. Here, lean on me for a while.

You guided him so he was laying on your chest and grabbed his hands, drawing circular patterns to help him calm down.

- Baby, breathe with me ok? Inhale 1 2 3 4, hold 1 2 3 4 and exhale 1 2 3 4.

He followed your instructions and your breathing pattern along with paying attention to the touch on his hands and managed to calm down.

- thank you...love...

- No need to thank me. How are you feeling? Better?

- Yeah... A bit...just tired now...

- Let's go rinse your mouth and go back to the dressing room.

You helped him to the sink and wrapped your arms firmly around him, as it seemed he could faint again at any minute.

You were met with seven pairs of worried eyes as soon as you entered the dressing room. The staff helped you settle Hyunjin on a mattress so he could rest, while they decided what to do.

- y/n, what happened?

- When I got there he told me he'd fainted and then he started throwing up.

- Was he like this all along?

- I don't think so. I think it started after the performance.

The boys gathered with the staff to discuss what they'd do, since there was a fan sign after the recording.

And you sat by Hyunjin's side, stroking his hair while he kept dozing off but trying his best to answer you.

- How are you feeling?

- Icky...tired, sweaty and still a little sick...

- Oh baby, when we get to the dorms you'll be able to rest.

The staff decided to take Hyunjin back to the dorms with you, while the others would proceed with the schedule. Just like usual, the company issued a letter explaining Hyunjin's absence on the fan sign event.

You stayed in the dorms with him, helped him take a shower and then made him some light soup, which he managed to eat a little before passing out in bed and sleeping for the rest of the day, with you cuddling him.

[chelieu]

March 19, 20, 2024 Warsaw

My description of concerts

I had two VIP tickets. I stood in the 2nd and 1st row. Seeing them so close, almost within arm's reach, their facial expressions, their beautiful bodies and amazing outfits is something I will never forget. Everyone knows the set lists, and each of you has probably seen the outfits in various photos and videos, so I won't describe them in detail. I will focus more on Toshiya and Kyo because they were the ones I saw best and focused my attention on. On the second day, when I heard Sa bir as they were getting on stage, I started crying. I cried a lot, but it wasn't sobbing, just tears flowing silently down my cheeks. Shinya shyly entered the stage and immediately sat behind the drums. The fans were screaming his name and squealing. The madness has begun. Then Die. On the second day, immediately with bare shoulders, in a white and red, tight blouse, longer at the back. His muscular arms and flowing hair are what I will remember from these concerts. Die entered with his hand raised and smiled at the fans. Toshiya a moment behind him. When I saw this white outfit on the second day, I got goosebumps. He is the most beautiful man in the world. He was so confident, seductive, sexy. He knew he looked amazing and gave us 100 percent of himself. Then Kaoru. On the first and second day he looked dignified. So manly with that hair slicked back. I love his black makeup on both sides of his cheeks. It makes an amazing impression. And then Kyo came in. The concert hadn't started yet and my throat was already hurting from calling their names. Kyo always entered slowly, at first he looked at the fans as if he couldn't believe that there were so many of us. What I will never forget from these two concerts is Kyo's smile. I saw how moved he was, I saw how happy he was. His smiles made me cry like crazy. You could feel that he liked it and he wanted to be here. The second day started with vinushka. It was because of this song I fell in love with their music when I was 12. Hearing vinushka live is like a dream come true. During these two dirus concerts they had incredible contact with the audience. They kept coming to the edge of the stage, encouraging us to shout, pointing at us, smiling, switching places and looking at the fans with love in their eyes. It was their attitude, their behavior that was amazing. It was obvious that they were trying their best to make sure we had a good time. Kaoru, Toshiya and Die go to Shinya's drums and play with him there. Die smiled at Toshiya and they played opposite each other several times. After the encore, Kyo always said BYE BYE and immediately left the stage. Shinya threw his chopsticks and quickly hid behind the curtain as well. Die, Toshiya and Kaoru walked around the stage and threw guitar picks. On the second day, Toshiya poured water on fans. I was grateful when he cooled me down with it. On the second day after the encore, Toshiya entered Kyo's center stage. He bowed and thanked us. And finally, he showed off legs in those sexy long boots, taking part of his dress aside. There was no end to the squeals. Oh, I'm a stupid crazy girl in love with 5 men. Thanks to their music I feel love, passion, hope and strength. They guide me through life. I love you Dir en grey. With my whole sick heart.

[softly-potter]

Hollywood's Dead

Summary: Ruby sneaks into Atlas to see Weiss perform.

Pairing: Weiss x Ruby

Word Count: 1,176

Warning: none

A/N: loosely inspired by Hollywood's Dead by Lana Del Rey

-

Who am I to complain?

My lifes been spared so much pain.

Ruby clenches her skirt in her hands, digs her nails into the skin of her palms. Weiss’ voice is silky, draping over Ruby and holding her close, warming her.

This is the closest Ruby had been to the girl since the fall of Beacon, and she is unprepared. Her stomach churns, throat dry as she listens to Weiss sing along with the rest of Atlas. The audience is silent, listening on baited breath as Weiss clenches her hands together, her eyes scanning over the crowd. 

Born with all that I need, my comforts all guaranteed.

Ruby knows Weiss can’t see her, she made sure of it. Her hood is pulled low over her forehead, concealing her face, and she wore the clothing of a commoner, Crescent Rose perfectly hidden on her back. She knows Weiss is half blinded by the stage lights, unable to focus on those watching her, but she still hopes. Hopes her girl can at least feel her.

So what's the problem, what's keeping me? From moving forward, it’s hard to see.

Weiss spins, her blue and silver dress swishing around her ankles. Raising her arms, she clenches her fingers, the song pouring from her like silk.

I should be free now, I should be fine. But the life I fought for, still isn’t mine.

Ruby bites her lip, feels copper on her tongue. She wishes to run onto the stage, take Weiss’ hand and tug her from a world that had been so unfair. If only Ruby had been faster. If only she had helped Pyrrha when she fought Cinder, if she had run faster, would Prrya have lived? Would their school still be upright, instead of a pile of broken rubble? Would Weiss have said yes to Ruby’s unasked question?

Some believe in fairy stories, and the ghosts that they can’t see. I know that I could do so much, if I could just believe in me.

“She’s so talented.” Whispers a woman sitting to Ruby’s left. Unsure, Ruby nods, gives a weak smile.

“She really is.” Ruby whispers back. A man sitting on the opposite side of the woman nods enthusiastically.

“I expect nothing more from a Schnee.” The man laughs, and Ruby swallows hard.

Mirror mirror, tell me something, can I stop my fall?

Ruby licks her dry lips, refocusing her attention on the girl with silver hair. Weiss sways to the sound of the piano, her voice dripping with unbridled talent.

Years of scorn will leave you cold, ‘forget your dream, do what you’re told’

Gritting her teeth, Ruby’s eyes flick up to the balcony. Jacque Schnee sits with a leg bent at the knee, ankle balancing perfectly over one thigh. With his hands tented, he seems to be inspecting Weiss, measuring her up mentally, and it makes Ruby’s blood boil.

When disapproval all you’re shown, the safest palace becomes alone.

Ruby lets out a short gasp, dropping her chin in case anyone in the audience heard her. Did Weiss really believe the song she was singing? Was she so far gone that Ruby couldn’t reach her?

And isolation’s the price you pay, and every friendship is pushed away.

Twirling again, Weiss places her hands upon her chest, her pale face aimed to the heavens as she continues the melody, and Ruby can no longer listen. Standing, she quietly moves through the crowd, keeping her cloak tightly against her as she weaves in between members. When she’s finally freed, she hastily makes her way to the corridors, eyes scanning for the nearest exit. She spies the restroom, and decides to make the best of it. Pushing open the door, she lurches to the sink, bending over the porcelain. 

But bit by bit now, a step each day, I’m slowly starting to find my way.

Flicking on the faucet, Ruby splashes cool water against her face, lets the droplets run down her skin as she looks at her reflection.

“She’s lost,” Ruby whispers, silver eyes welling and she bats them away quickly. “She’s just lost.” leaning back under the faucet, Ruby shuts her eyes, lets the water run over her chin and tongue.

“I thought that was you.”

Some believe in fairy stories, and ghosts they can’t see.

Ruby jumps, water spraying over her clothing and stares at the door. Weiss smiles shyly, tugs on the edge of her sleeve.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Ruby whispers and her voice feels like sandpaper. She stands in shock, her feet rooted to the spot and Weiss looks away, a pretty flush gracing her cheeks.

“What're you doing here, Ruby? And what are you wearing?”

I know that I could do so much, if I could just believe in me.

Ruby shuffles, her gaze breaking and drops to her clothing. She shrugs, looks away hopelessly. “I had to fit in. The red would have… stuck out.”

“Ah,” Weiss says softly, clasping her hands together. She takes a singular step forward, her head bending to the side. “I see. But you didn't answer my first question.”

Mirror mirror, I’ll tell you something.

Ruby sighs, runs a hand down her face. “You have to know.”

“Do I?” Weiss counters, her dress swishing as she takes a step. “Know what?”

I think I might change it all.

“Don’t, please,” Ruby whispers, holding a hand up. “Don’t play dumb. It isn’t nice. You're not an idiot, you’ve always known.”

Weiss chuckles, the sound soft and breathy, and when she grabs Ruby’s wrist, her eyes are bright. “Of course I know. I just…” she pauses, her voice dropping an octave. “Wanted to hear you say it.”

Rushing forward, Ruby presses her mouth to Weiss’. Weiss lets out a surprised sound, before her lips go placid and she kisses Ruby back. It’s chaste and quick and everything Ruby had every thought kissing Weiss would be like.

Pulling back, Ruby takes a breath. “Don’t tell me it's over.” She whispers. Cupping Weiss’s face, she strokes a thumb across her cheek. Weiss shakes her head, lets out a soft laugh again. Leaning forward, she presses her forehead against Ruby’s and her eyes flutter shut.

“No, it isn't over.” Weiss says, her cool breath fanning over Ruby’s mouth. Ruby swallows, nodding as she cups Weiss’ face with both her hands. 

“You’ll come with me won’t you?” Ruby asks gently, worried she’s asking too much. Weiss’ brows crinkle and she nods quickly, grips Ruby’s wrists.

“My Hollywood career has long been dead anyways,” she says with a light laugh, and Ruby breathes out a sigh of relief. Hesitantly, she leans forward and Weiss meets her half way, her lips soft as they move in sequence. Slipping her tongue along Ruby’s lower lip, Weiss hums happily.

Pulling back, Ruby grins. “Y’now, in this lighting, you're… so beautiful,” she says, admiring how Weiss blushes. “On that stage? So sickeningly beautiful.”

Weiss rolls her eyes but keeps her grip on Ruby's wrist, moving her fingers to incase Ruby’s and she gives her skin a squeeze.

[lablim64]

I don't know what to post soo..

Here's my headcanon of MOG with out his mask

I even wrote a damn story behind it-

*ehem*

- back in a lot day, before mog were meet with the wekiddy gang or have that emoji mask, he were have his own show called "the smiles" where he perform rap songs and shows that got a lot of people breathless of amazement, this show keep up for almost years and he were well known a lot until one day, one of his ex friend who also were a rapper got so jealous of him that he planned a fall down for mog, while mog were on his one show, the ex friend pour so so hot boiling water on him that got his whole face burnt, then mog been taken to a hospital his family were in shock and panic because their son might be on near death on that water fall, but luckily he survived but with an negative, half of his face were horribly burned and melted off permanently and there were nothing doctors do to fix it, mog got so depresse over it because he cannot get on stage with that face, so he cancelled all his show and everyone slowly forgotten about him, mog became so an indoor person due to his insecure about what people will react to his face, he keep his singing talent upgraded but indoors for years, and one day on his birthday, his parents got him a present that will help him change his life, a emoji mask that change it looks due whatever mog wants, mog were so so happy because with this mask, he doesn't have to worry about his burnt face anymore because no one will see it ever again, mog start wearing that mask so often when talking with people, but still keep his show shut due to personal reasons till he met the wekiddy gang and joined them, when he were roommates with them, mog got this "hiding his burnts" super seriously, while he changing clothes, eating food and even taking a shower, he make sure the doors and the windows are shut and no one can peak him, so no one will see his face, well until one day KC saw his faces while mog accidently failed to lock the door while changing, but instead of KC get scared of mog's burnts, he were amazed because you know KC is like a child, and mog were glad that he didn't see him any different, ever since then, KC is the only person who sees mog's face and keeping his secret, others are still clueless about mog's face and mog seems to will keep it that way till his grave.

That's all-

What do you think? :3

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Frank, I have gallons of vanilla extract, can you give me a recipe that demands such excess of vanilla extract?) I'm talking atleast 50% vanilla extract

Sure

Here are the quantities (I use 2 large jars per recipe)

12 cups sugar, divided

1/2 cup corn syrup, divided

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

6 large eggs, lightly beaten

3 cups cake flour

3 teaspoons baking soda

4 sticks (16 ounces) unsalted butter, softened

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup heavy cream

1 1/4 cups water

6 cups chopped walnuts, lightly toasted (see below)

Start by preheating the oven to 250 F. Grease a 13 by 9 by 4-inch baking dish.

Prepare the caramel base:

In a heavy saucepan over medium-high heat, bring 3 cups sugar, 1/2 cup corn syrup, and 6 tablespoons water to a boil. While whisking the mixture, add 1/4 cup cold water. Whisk until smooth and shiny. Once it's been in the saucepan for a minute or so, make sure the mixture is at a boil and bring it back down to a simmer. Continue whisking regularly.

Once the syrup is a caramel color, and it's bubbling but not too fast, remove it from the heat and whisk in 1/4 cup butter. Whisk until completely dissolved, then whisk in 2 teaspoons vanilla extract. Whisk that thoroughly into the caramel, then scrape the caramel into a large bowl, leaving the mixture on the stovetop as you go. If it's not all liquid, whisk in some water. Whisk the wet mixture until it's uniformly fluffy.

(At this stage, you can leave the batter on the stovetop -- it should become less watery as the butter melts. Don't stir it or it will get gritty.)

Sift the cake flour and baking soda into a second large bowl, then whisk in the remainder of the 12 cups of sugar. In a separate bowl, lightly beat 3 eggs and 1 egg yolk together, then add them to the batter along with 2 cups of the cream. Add the salt last of all, and whisk it in well.

Scrape the vanilla caramel mixture back into the saucepan and slowly cook it until it comes to a boil. Bring it back down to a simmer and boil it for about 2 minutes. Once it has started to bubble, quickly add the walnuts in two batches -- first the nuts in the center of the pan, then those on the sides. Once all the nuts are in, gently stir them in with a silicone spatula. Once the walnuts are evenly distributed throughout, remove the pan from the heat and pour the walnuts into the prepared baking dish.

Spread the nuts out and then scoop some of the chocolate batter on top. (It's easiest to work with a large spoon at this point, so scoop it from the edges outward and stop once you've covered the top. Then use a knife to score the surface and poke the nuts through, but keep scooping the chocolate batter back in.) Continue until the nuts are fully and evenly incorporated, then use a spoon to spread it a little more evenly, scraping out the "crust" that you made, to make sure the nuts are completely surrounded. If the chocolate batter has overflowed onto the sides of the baking dish, you can scoop some more batter on top to hide it.

Scrape as much of the walnuts as possible from the pan, then bake for 55 minutes at 250 F or until the chocolate begins to crack and the center springs back when pressed.

(Tiny bits of nuts left in the center at the end won't affect the flavor.)

Remove the cake from the oven, let it cool for about 20 minutes, then pour the remaining cream and water into the baking dish it was baked in and stir them in. Cover the top of the cake with a towel so it is not too wet, then let it sit in a cool place until the cake has cooled down even more. Once it's been sitting for 20 minutes and it is still cool, frost with a thick layer of dark chocolate frosting.

This recipe makes about 15 cups of frosting. Leftovers should be refrigerated and eaten within three days.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

When in doubt, BAKE! Pt. 685: Saturday Night Bread

It's been one fuck of a week again, and my world has been changed drastically, and today I said fuck it I'm gonna bake bread.

This batch is about 60-40 Whole Wheat-White, a "Whole wheat Light"...it usually makes excellent sammy bread. It has some heft, but it's not so heavy as pure whole wheat.

Not sure if I've posted about THE BOOK yet, but this is THE BOOK if you really REALLY want to get good at baking bread:

"The Laurel's Kitchen BREAD BOOK", written in 1984 as a followup to the classic Laurel's Kitchen, by Laurel Roberston, Carole Flinders et.al. Carole and Laurel were both excellent writers, and the book is a pleasure to read. It's got the typical hippie wood cuts (they were in Berkeley, after all) and is my home bread-baker's bible. They wouldn't approve tonight's loaves, which are padded with white flour. lulz. I give myself lots of fail room when I haven't baked in awhile.

The original Laurel's Kitchen was the very first vegetarian cookbook I ever read, it was 1981, I'd just moved to Houston to work in the record stores...learned a lot from that book, but one trick they used can no longer be used, and they stressed that in the Bread Book: No baking in 48 oz juice cans (which they had championed in the first book). Now they line the cans with poisonous coatings, can't use them. Which is fine with me...I like my bread square/rectangular, when I'm makin' sammies.

Started this batch with 3 cups whole wheat, 2 1/2 cups white, and a tablespoon of salt, dry in the mixer bowl. Mix on low for about a minute to mix thoroughly. Replace the paddle with the dough hook.

In a 4-cup Pyrex measure, put 2 1/2 cups luke-warm water, and in a 1 cup measure, put 1/2 cup lukewarm water.

Into that one cup, put a tablespoon of brown sugar. Put another tablespoon of brown sugar in the large measure. Sprinkle one tablepoon of dry yeast into the small measure and stir.

With the mixer on the first speed, with the dough hook, slowly pour the yeast mix into the dry ingredients in the bowl. Follow with the rest of the water/sugar.

Now start adding small amounts of white flour until it begins to "pick up" and starts cleaning the bowl. In between these additions of flour, add, about a tablespoon at a time, 2 tablespoons of softened salted butter. The dough should pick up and become quite soft after a few more minutes.

After mixing on the first speed for about five minutes with the dough hook, turn it out onto a floured countertop and finish kneading by hand.

It'd been so long since I had my hands on some warm, live dough...and it made me smile, it's such an amazing feeling to work with it in its various stages.

Once it's become a good, solid dough from hand kneading for about five minutes, form it into large ball, and put in a large crockery bowl that's been buttered. Turn the ball to coat, place a linen towel atop and place in a draft-free, warm zone. That cabinet in the spot above the fridge is perfect. After about an hour and a half, it should be lookin' good, and a finger-poke in the middle won't "fill in".

Mash it down, making sure you get ALL the trapped air bubbles out. Form it into a ball again, and put it back in the bowl, and let it rise a SECOND TIME for about 40-45 minutes tops. It should take roughly half the time of the first rise.

Mash it down the second time, and flatten in to a big rectangle, and divide it in half. Let it rest for about five minutes.

Now form into loaves and put in the long bread loaf pans, pre-greased with shortening.

Put them back above the fridge, covered, for about 20 minutes, until they are just arching above the tops of the pans.

Put them into the 400 degree oven and let them bake for 15 minutes. AFTER 15 MINUTES, TURN THE TEMPERATURE DOWN TO 350, WITHOUT OPENING THE OVEN DOOR.

Let bake for another 30-40 minutes.

Loaves are done when they have a hollow sound when tapped, much like a watermelon when ripe.

Turn out of pans immediately and cool on racks until completely cool. Brush the tops with melted butter, if you like.

This is a good everyday bread for sammies and toast. Using butter, and using the higher temp for the initial "spring" time helps give this a solidly crunchy crust, and the blend of flours gives it a very nice texture and crumb. Yields two large loaves.

Baker gets first slice slathered in softened butter.

Y'all enjoy! I'm off to stand under the hot water for a good long while.

[ritualove]

Silas Addams insight 01

Response to prompt 01

Trigger warning: body horror, public humiliation

Silas found himself sitting at a panel of authors. He didn't recognise any of them. He was there to talk about how writers figure out... umm... when writers..? Silas was there to talk to a crowd of people, and what a crowd it was. They were in a large conference hall, but larger. He could tell it was everyone who ever bought his books, and his friends and family, and all the employees of his publisher, and you, yes you, you were there watching Silas. No one recognised any of the other authors, no one cared about them even if they could recognise them. Everyone was there for Silas. It was his day.

Silas was getting anxious, it's not the first time he talked infront of a big crowd, but there sure was a lot of people. He looked over at his fellow speakers, his opening act. God he should really try and figure out what he is there to talk about. Silas could barely hear anything up on that stage, he couldn't even make out the face of the person talking to try and read their lips. Speaking of lips, Silas' were starting to feel quite dry, better have a drink of water. He firmly gripped the handle of the water jug, his hand molding to the curve. The rippling of the water is distracting, the curves of the pitcher is disorientating him. Silas tries to focus, it's just water, lift it up and pour it. God why can't he just lift up the water. Fuck, he's spilt a bit oh god. He looked up to see if anyone noticed his stupid fuck up. Alright cool, they are all entranced on his entourage. He tried to lift up the water again, still to heavy. His hand is shaky, probably just nerves from the crowd. He nearly spilt the water again, he should stop trying to lift it. Silas has an extremely dry mou- oh god where is the audience looking?

Silas is looking out at the crowd, leaning in towards his microphone. He smacks his lips, it tastes like cotton. The crowd is looking at Silas, waiting. Silas pauses, what is he going to say? Maybe he should just admit he zoned out, get a bit of comedy going. Maybe he should stand up and walk to the front of the panel table, see if he can see any signs anywhwew. Maybe he should just say fucking anything, instead of sitting there like an ass. They are all waiting. God this is pathetic it really is. It was stupid of them to even think about Silas, let alone read his books. That's when he got it! He knows what to say! He is going to talk about his next book.

Silas opens his mouth, his dry mouth. What word to start with, god stop over thinking it idiot. Fucking moron. Just say... I don't know... Just say 'Hello' that's always a good start. Silas speaks. Nothing comes out. Why isn't anything coming out? He finally found it! He finally figured out what to say! He did it everyone! He's got it! He can't speak. Silas can't speak? Silas reached his hand up to his mouth and... oh god... where is it? Where is his mouth?

Silas watched silently as the palpible (if Silas' mouth wasn't so dry of course) anticipation of the crowd simmers and settles. Silas watched the crowd start to murmur, become distracted, forget about Silas. Silas watched, silently, as the crowd slowly dissipates. He lost his chance.

Silas' eyes opened. He saw the yellow tinted roof of his brothers lounge room. He sat up and looked around, he was on the squeeky pull out couch that he has been sleeping on for a couple of months. Must have just been a nightmare, Silas realised, even if it was quite a cruel one. His mouth was quite dry, he took a sip of water from the counter next to him. He layed back down, considering just going back to sleep. He wondered if Stoker, his brother, was awake or not.

[murielcook]

onion cheese cream sauce au gratin potatoes

Are you ready? okay

items for sauce:

1 vidalia onion (between softball and baseball sized)

1 stick of butter

1/2 large carton heavy/whipping cream (variable) about 2 cups

powdered cheese

garlic powder

onion powder

white pepper

3-4 chicken ramen packets, or 2 cups chicken stock

salt (very little if using ramen packets, more if using stock, potatoes soak up salt like crazy)

thyme

marjoram

mushroom powder if you're cute like that

reserve ham liquid if you have any (cut back salt if you do)

Items for finished dish:

2lbs sliced ham (thick deli slice style, round is easier, split into 3 stacks, cut into quarters)

about 4lbs potatoes

shredded cheese, dealer's choice

Steps:

thin slice potatoes. should be floppy. a mandolin is your friend. If using thin-skinned potatoes, skip peeling. otherwise peel first.

partly unwrap your butter and use it to rub the inside of your casserole dish

get your saute pan preheating

put basket or steamer in instant pot (important!), add 2c water and 2 ramen packets (or 2c stock), dump in potatoes, set on highest setting for 0 minutes (I was skeptical too but if they're thin enough it'll be fine) [source]

While that's going, peel outer layer off onion, cut in half, cut thin slices; lightly oil the pan then get them in there to start softening up, medium heat we're just sweating them

cut up your ham while you wait for onion

once onions have hit translucent stage, pretty soft, give things a stir, throw the stick of butter on top of the pile and let it hang out

mix spice powders with cheese powder in a dish; garlic, onion, white pepper, and cheese powder happen here. you want to end up with about 2/3 of a cup of mix here, possibly more if you're using stock and add salt. dealer's choice on what's most dominant, you know what you like!

once that butter is mostly melted, start looking for some browning. give things a stir; you're looking for SOME caramelization, not fully browned, we're going for a mix of onion flavors

potato timer go off? let it hang out for as much as 3 minutes before releasing the valve, then remove the potatoes to a bowl.

sprinkle your spice mix over the onion and butter and keep stirring until it's a paste and there's not a lot of liquid butter left

if it starts to stick or you're happy with the mix, start adding the potato liquid from the pot, this adds broth, liquid, and starch, whisk (preferably with a fork or spatula so your onions don't get tangled) quickly to turn the paste into sauce

begin adding cream, nice and slow while stirring

keep going, we're using about 2/3 cup of cream

stop when it starts to get thin, keep stirring for just a little while longer

turn up the heat a little to let that bubble and incorporate, prepare more of the powder mix, because you're going to want more sauce

put down a layer of potato just enough to cover the bottom, then take a ham stack and layer that over top, keep it light and sloppy for sauce flow

take a ladle and start spooning over sauce, make sure to get some onion in the mix, but don't get too greedy or you'll put all your onion in one layer!

turn down the heat on the sauce if you haven't - you might be starting to get browning on bottom - stir that up, add a dash more cream if it seems extra gunky (more like a glue than a sauce)

sprinkle about 2 cups of just-shredded cheese (loose) or 1 cup commercial shredded cheese (packed), you're going for a light distribution

next layer of potato, ham, sauce and cheese

at this point if you're like me, your sauce is running low! have no fear. get your oven preheating to 400F (convection, 425F regular)

take that round 2 powder mix, pour cream directly in it so you can make a paste

scrape that paste into your sauce mix then slowly add the remainder of your cream and stir while bringing the heat back up

This won't get as thick but as it's getting saucier, sprinkle on thyme and marjoram. maybe a tsp of each? evenly sprinkled across the top and stirred in

DUMP IT IN that potato pile, and top with 2c of cheese. go heavier on this, we want it to melt and brown, give the pan a gentle shake to help sauce distribution and stick it in the oven

you might have time to clean up some of the prep dishes while it's browning. check in 10 minutes on that cheese. keep checking every 5 or so after that until it's as brown as you please

DONE

oo you better let that sit because it's bubbling

Notes:

Feeds at least 6.

I have an induction cooktop so I can turn down my heat very quickly, if you don't, consider moving the pan off the heat briefly if you're feeling like it's browning at the bottom faster than you can stir/scrape it off or you're in danger of sticking/burning.

Stainless steel or another forgiving surface is your friend here so you can scrape without fear. non-stick users should keep a wooden spoon or spatula handy for being very firm with brown material in the sauce.

You don't have to use ramen packets, obviously! we always have extra because people make the noodles other ways around here so i ask them to save the packets to use as quick and dirty bouillon substitute.

More onions would be best if you have a 12" skillet or something else that can heat up more without too much layering; this would change the sauce situation quite a bit; it'd definitely take longer

heavy cream recommended for texture and thickening ability, you'll likely have to cut back and add more thickening agent (powdered cheese, flour, etc) if going a different route there

Shred carrots into little matchstick pieces to add in if you want to mix it up. parsnips or sweet potato could be interesting if you're into that.

mushrooms would make a good addition, maybe steamed on top of the potatoes then diced and added to the sauce as it's being built. or just quite a bit of mushroom powder, give it more earthy umami flavor.

The mandoline slicer I use is the "ONCE FOR ALL upgrade safe mandoline slicer": Affiliate link - I don't use it often, tbh, but it's perfect for mass batches of thin, even slices, especially if you have neck or back problems like yours truly. wishlist it and wait for a sale, imo. or check one of the many basically identical ones. but i can confirm i like this one.