#and they're not even embarassed about it! they really just except me to act like they're being normal

[thesmokinpossum]

I’m gonna need men to start drinking their being normal juice because this is getting ridiculous

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace ep 13

I really like bestie Meizhuang's practicality and no-nonsense style. Too bad she's definitely gonna die (since her name isn't Zhen Huan). Honestly, she and ZH should be the perfect team: ZH is the right amount of paranoid and distrusting, bestie is more pessimistic and calculating. But I think the flaw is, they're too permissive of each other. I mean, they give advice but aren't adamant and demanding about it. If you're really gonna say you're sisters, BE BOSSY ABOUT IT. smh

Tapping in Ling Rong was smart. I never agreed with them not keeping her close.

Poor Fourth Prince. It's both a terrible idea to get associated with a kid the emperor hates... and I wish Zhen Huan could afford to openly care about him. Seems like a good kid.

ZH loosening up when she thinks no one is watching and being playful with her maid is THE SADDEST THING because you are struck that this is the real her. And she has to hide this person at all times and walk a tightrope in the proper concubine act. Even with Meizhuang she is all politeness, isn't so free & easy.

Meet cute with the real Prince Guo. Except this is a horror story, so no such thing. "You must not tell this to anyone. Otherwise, I'll have no burial ground for my body."

I love the old consort. She just straight up leaves the party all, 'I've seen enough drama in my day. Too tired for all this bullshit.'

If she can see it clearly, why can't the emperor? tbh I think he can too. It just doesnt threaten or affect him so he doesn't care.

Hell workplace dinner where everyone is drinking bored, so they've ganged on someone for entertainment. Everyone is salivating at the spectacle of the protagonist embarassing themselves. So of COURSE protagonist will shock everyone with their Secret Special Skills™. It's a very cliche trope but I think most viewers would have to admit that WE LOVE IT. We all eat this shit up with a spoon.

Ep 14

IM SCREAMING. Hua Fei, I pledge fealty. Marry me. "Consort Fleur, what is the matter with you?" Wavering, coughing, making indigestion faces: "I have no greviance over anything. I lost my composure because I was overcome with emotions watching Lady Sourire's performance." The emperor keeps being like, oh REALLY babe but you're basic. When did you start liking poetry? and babygirl puts her whole pussy into it. 👏👏 Girlboss gaslight gatekeep.

ZH really out here eager to co-parent with Meizhuang and ready to rush back from kissing the emperor's ass. I know she legit was into him (why??) at the start but I feel like reality has set in and she's just playing the part now. She's drawing her and Meizhuang's names together with a heart in her Lisa Frank notebook and planning how to spend their golden years together after they pop out a couple kids.

Hua Fei, the light of my life, breaks down the politics of it all. She's very savvy and will be a near impossible opponent to defeat - unless, of course, you have the protagonist halo. or if bro starts losing battles.

Empress pops in to remind us that being the CFO also sucks. Endless, tireless smiling and benevolence. You can't even throw a coquettish tantrum or two for the luz.

The ghost of the empresses's sister that the emperor loved most lingers yet again. Did the empress kill her sister? The thunder & lightening say yes.

The mess with Ling Rong's dad and the pull of Hua Fei's brother great examples of how the harem struggles aren't really about 'a bunch of sad women fighting over a man'. Being in the harem is entering a circle of power and influence. Yes, the concubines aren't supposed to 'discuss state affairs' but that's a rule made to be circumvented. Pleasing the emperor can make him reward your noble family and factions of the harem are connections within powerful noble families. Because Ling Rong is there, even though the emperor doesn't remember her name she has strings to pull. Whether it works out this time for her, it's a recourse she wouldn't have otherwise. And Meizhuang is able to go straight to the emperor's residence and get an update on the situation and counsel from the head eunuch. They have influence and control beyond what other citizens have.

[of course, we can't forget the prize for this hunger games is the biggest of them all -- NO, not some royal dick, but having your kid be the next emperor. Putting your family in the history books forever as part of the dynasty. Potentially changing history.]

[that's why I don't mentally categorise Story of Yanxi Palace as a harem drama. That's the setting, true, but Yingluo enters of her own will and it's due to her revenge quest. She isn't advocating for or protecting her clan and has zero intent to climb the ladder, but is acting in revenge of her sister, then her sworn sister empress, then her bestie. Then she inadvertently falls in love with her frenemy emperor (of all things!) and wants to accompany him, despite her terror of childbirth. She has no interest in the throne for herself, her clan, or her kids. She's playing the game all the wrong way, because she's not playing it at all - her goals aren't aligned to anyone else's. That is the delight of Yanxi Palace; she's dropped into everyone else's harem drama with a metaphorical sword on her back, the unpredictable engine of chaos in this carefully choreographed dance of waxing and waning power & influence.]

Empress really shows off her skills in this episode. No one actually knows how hard she tried for Ling Rong's dad but she has the position to get away with advocating, without losing much. And she gets their gratitude and steers them towards fighting my gf Hua Fei in her stead. Empress was the biggest winner in this incident.

ZH on her way there, as she expertly manipulates the emperor by commenting on state affairs without actually directly discussing them. She's smart to be hiding the depth of her education and only bringing it out when necessary.

Damn she's really playing the "you're my ✨husband✨" card for all it's worth. And we can see that, for now, it's worth a lot.

The maid making the play for the emperor's interest with the lotus blossoms is the Soon to be Evil half-sister, right?

[bunnhildr]

i need all of them for eiji im sorry he makes me twirl my hair you understand

I UNDERSTAND.

Are there any names they like to be called in bed/names they call their partner? Any names they wouldn’t use/can’t stand?

eiji himself isn't a pet name user, the most he'd use is probably 'baby boy' (he read that one in a book lol), 'my love', and 'darling'. the pet names usually come out when he's being really stimulated during sex, otherwise he sticks to regular names

Are they a “the socks stay on during sex” kind of person?

it's honestly not a detail he cares much about, if they're off before he starts they stay off, if they're on before he starts they stay on. since they don't really get in the way of sex he doesn't really care either way. if the socks go up to his partner's calves or higher, he will roll them down because he's a stupid little tease and likes to nibble on calves/thighs

Quickies vs Planned sex—thoughts?

both! both is good. if his partner is needy and he is needy, he's more than happy to engage. he won't be complaining any time soon

Are they more of a dom, sub, or switch? If applicable, are they a top, bottom, or vers?

eiji is 10000% a service top. absolutely loves pleasuring his partner in every way, and loves to be in control. he will, however, not complain if his partner wants to take control every once in a while. (asase "i'm obsessed with hearing my partner moan and whine and i will do everything in my power to get them to do so but getting a blowjob is REALLY nice every once in a while" eiji frfr)

Do they have any really out-of-left-field kinks/fantasies? Maybe even something that they wouldn’t necessarily want to act on but have still thought about?

not really, he's extremely inexperienced and isn't familiar with kinks or the like. he's very much just "it's you and me being intimate in this way" and he likes just to explore his partner's body and find out what makes them go insane. would be open to anything his partner would want to try except pain or weapon play

Any place they absolutely would not have sex?

public. ever. like, in the secluded forests around the shrine? yeah. but he would never be down to do anything near other people or in a public place.

Are they into (consensual) pain during sex? Either giving or receiving

no, he would never want to try this

How often do they have sex dreams?

not very often, but on occasion. these mornings his partner would wake up to him acting kind of weird before a very blunt "would you be in the mood for sex?" or something like that 😭

What’s their favorite way to get in the mood? How do they set the mood?

cuddles -> making out -> inappropriate touching -> foreplay is his fav pipeline, just because it feels natural

Are they down for casual one-night stands?

no !!!! sex is very intimate for him, he would only participate with his lover, someone he had been with for a really long time.

Are they attracted to anyone (specific person or just negative qualities) they really shouldn’t be?

nope! he and katsumi were meant to be for ever and ever <333

Would they be more or less likely to send a risky/risque text to their partner in the middle of a crowded/public area?

no, he's the type to receive the text and accidentally leave them on read bc he is rapidly moving to their location LOL

Morning vs evening sex—do they have a preference?

morning sex, because in noctis aeternitas terms morning sex would be a hello and evening sex would be a goodbye

If they send nudes, are they tasteful or just quick pics?

not really a nudes sender, if his partner really wanted to see him that badly he would just go to them

Describe their favorite sexual encounter.

just any time he gets to fuck katsumi.

Describe their least favorite/most embarassing sexual encounter.

probably still his first time 😭

What’s their go-to safe word?

i feel if he and katsumi were to pick a safeword it would be nature-related, like "pine" or "boulder" or something idk

Their favorite actions during sex—chin-grabbing, hair-pulling, wrists being pinned, etc.

oohh,, CHIN GRABBING. holding katsumi's face so he can maintain eye contact. close second would be pinning down the wrists (if katsumi would be okay with it)

When they “dress-up” for sex, what’s their go-to outfit? Lingerie, suit, gown, etc.?

not a big dressup guy, he knows its all gonna come off anyway so he doesn't see a point in it

What do they like seeing their partner in when they “dress-up?”

nothing at all <3

What scent of candle do they light after sex?

no candles, but he has a habit of opening one of the shrine windows. that nice cool ocean breeze with the smell of salt and wind-battered wood <3

Favorite thing/part about sex—intimacy, role-playing, etc.

just the intimacy of it, he loves how close he can get to his partner

Least favorite thing/part about sex—cleanup, setup, etc.

doesn't really have a least favorite part tbh

A song they would fuck/get fucked to

not a big music guy when having sex, but if there is music it would be soft and slow with no lyrics!

Share a sample line of dirty-talk

"ooh, baby boy, if this is the way you like it you better speak up. come on, look at me. tell me how i'm making you feel."

[lxmine]

they're in love. + genshin men (mostly) valentines speacial

+. fluff, not proofread written in one go lmao, wanderer favoritsm just because 😼

+. summary ; they’re in love

+. A/N yeah so i changed it to them asking you for valentines to this because i thought it felt more pure like this sooo… me being a hopeless romantic is acting up again T-T happy valentines!😚 AND ALSO THANK YOU FOR 108 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU ALL MWAAA <3333333

itto

itto knew what love meant. he knew how giving love is. but itto didnt really know what love felt like. not until he met you. he thought you were really cool, you’re rich too. but meh, your father always hated him. but he didn’t care! you guys are buddies. just buddies…

until he started feeling that unusual feeling in his stomach whenever you would smile at him. you started looking more prettier by the day in his eyes. even the simplest clothing you wore made him swoon. he was confused, so confused.

so he asked you the first time you snuck him inside your estate. “why does… why does my heart beat so fast like this…” he asks looking at you who’s laying beside him inside the comfort of your chambers. he took your hand and placed it in his bare chest. a smile spread across your face as you felt his heart race. “my face becomes warm too, whenever i would see you smile or just hold me…” he says timidly, avoiding eye contact but still holding your hand against his chest.

“it’s weird really. cuz, from just one look at you. i imagine a future where i can be with you, just with you…” he gulps, taking the courage to look you in the eyes. you’re staring back at his lovestruck eyes with a smile. “you’re… in love.” you whispered, placing your palm on his cheeks and caressing it.

leaning in closer. and closer until you’re only centimeters apart. “as well as i.” you were about to kiss when someone knocked on the shoji (the japanese sliding door yawl) “i’m sorry to have interrupted your study… but mx. yn your father wishes to see you!” says the lady outside.

the two of you stood from where you lay, leading him out quickly. “i’ll see you tonight.” you chuckled giving him a small kiss on the cheek before urging him to leave. and boy he felt as if god just sent him the most beautiful thing.

thoma

thoma always thought you are beautiful. beautiful in a friendly manner, though he wouldn’t deny that he’s gained feelings for his master’s dearest friend. but he doesn’t dare mention it to anyone. except ayaka.

though she looked pretty dense, she never missed how thoma looked at you from a distance. “it’s just a small crush m’lady. yn is way too out of my league if i were to love them.” he chuckles. he swears it’s just a small crush. a simple adoration, nothing more nothing less.

but oh when you visited the estate and the siblings wasn’t there, he was a little sad that he needed to send you away because the sibling wont be home for the whole day, “i’m sorry, but the siblings are out on business. but i can send them a word that you came by today.” he smiles with a broom in hand.

“oh, thoma, i know that! i actually came by to hang out with you.” you smiled handing him a box of pastries from mondstadt. he swore he could feel his heart almost beating out of his chest, his cheeks started feeling warm too. “oh, sorry! i remember ayato mentioning you’re from mondstadt and my father just got back from buisness there and brought me back lots of mondstadt pastries so i thought i’d give some to you.”

you chuckled embarassed. oh how your voice sounded so genuine, so caring. he could only stare at your face as you talked. “it’s fine! i uhm… thank you. its been a while since i’ve eaten something from my home land. thank you, yn.” he smiles carefully taking the box from you. “you’re welcome. im sorry for the bother! i must get going then, you seem pretty busy-“

“no, not at all. i’d… love it if you’d join me for tea. waka says i must entertain guests after all.” you smiled linking your arms around his before nodding. you’re so close to him. he couldn’t help but hold his breath. perhaps, lady ayaka was right. he is in love.

ayato

a childhood friend who he only though of as a… friend of course. the kissing of the forehead, the hugging, the compliments were all pretty normal between the two of you since you’ve done that with him your whole life! “‘yato, come taste this.” you sit beside him, pestering him while he worked.

he smiles, trying to ignore you. he’s pretty used to your antics already and he doesn’t really mind. he felt as if you’re the only one keeping him sane from the loads of work he had to do all day, in a friendliest manner of course. “i swear, i’m not gonna be giving you souvenirs from when i get back from liyue.” you say pouting beside him but then soon turned to a smirk when he looked at you, that sure did catch his attention. “you’re departing to liyue? when? why?” he asks placing his quill down.

“i thought… ayaka and thoma told you already? papa wanted me to come with him.” you said meekly feeling his intense stare. “when?” “tonight. you see that’s why i want you to taste my cooking so you wont miss me as much.” you teased and he sighs. “how long?” he gently takes your hand that is holding a spoon full of something you cooked and feeding it to himself. “a month or so. it’s like a vacation.”

he breaths out, standing up still holding your hand in his as he walks towards the door. “‘yato!? what the-.” “you could’ve told me sooner. i’ll take a break for the day, let’s go to the city.” he says without looking at you. he felt like his chest becomes tighter and tighter as the sky goes darker. you were gonna leave, and for a month at that. he always has you by his side almost everyday and he doesn’t know why the hell he felt like you’re abandoning him or something.

the sun has set, and now he holds your hand for the last time at the docks of ritou. “don’t look too sad, it’s not like im gonna be living there or something.” you chuckled caressing the back of his hand with your thumb while he held you so firmly. “i’m gonna be missing your annoying self.” he chuckles pulling you close to him. “my darling, we are to depart now!” you hear your father say.

pulling out of his embrace. you took a good look of his face before kissing his cheek. “i’ll miss you lots too ‘yato. see you next month.” you said before walking over to your father who is patiently waiting for you. he too waves goodbye at ayato before they boarded the ship.

he waves just as you do, like a lonely puppy he stood as your ship departed. “i’ll see you soon, [name]. i love you.” he says but only the wind could hear. oh cupid, he’s given up and sighs in defeat. accepting the fact that he truly does love you.

he kissed you when you got back from your trip btw

kaeya

kaeya always found you so amusing. how you are easy to fluster and easy to please. not to mention you’re good with kids too. kaeya loves teasing you, taking care of the orphan kids with you in springvale whenever he has the time to and stays the night on his day offs.

now he sits on a log with an apron on outside the foster home grilling some mushroom skewers while some kids watch. “mr papa, do you like mx yn??” says one kid out of the blue catching the cryo user off guard. he couch and smiles trying to hide the embarrassment he felt because the kids are patiently waiting for an answer.

“of course, they’re my friend after all.” he chuckles watching you from the open door cleaning the kitchen while you talked to the other kids who are helping you out. “mr kaeya, mx yn will melt if you look at them like that.” the 12 year old boy smirks beside him. “oh shut it, kid.” he chuckles before continuing his grilling.

“i think mx yn and mr papa looks good together! like the prince and the prince/ss in the story they read us!” the little girl chimes, and all kaeya could do is laugh nervously. how can a bunch of children make him embarrassed!

“thank you for the meal!” says the children all together. you and kaeya stood together as you guided them with their food. the elders gossiping obviously about the two of you “thanks for the help mr kaeya, i really appreciate it every time you’re here. so are the kids, they seem to like you very much.” you said with a hint of blush on your cheek.

“it’s nothing, you needn’t thank me everyday. and please, kaeya would be fine.” he smiles patting your head. and you’re obviously flustered now. he lowers his sleve to his palm and wipes the sweat of your face. “i uhm…”

“mx yn can we play house after!” one of the kids says making you and kaeya look away from each other. but he was smiling and you were really flustered. the 12 year old kamu was smirking at kaeya who sends him a knowing look to not say anything absurd.

“oh that would be wonderful! and they can be our parent figures, yeah?” kamu suggests and the kids cheer happily. they love the idea. “i, uhm. please calm down! i’m sure mr ka- i mean kaeya has a lot to do today! so he might leave after the meal.” you say, kamu crosses his arms. this kid is never gonna give up until the two of you are together.

“but mr kaeya says its his day off. and it would be great if he could take a break after a long week of work right?” kamu smiles innocently. kaeya’s heart couldn’t take it. kamu is far too smart to catch on his not so obvious growing feelings for you. “it’s fine, i guess i could be your husband for the day.” he winks. oh how he wishes he could be.

kazuha

kazuha met you when he fled from the sakoku hunt decree. it was thanks to you he met beidou. let’s just say that he’s become somewhat your body guard??? he owes you his life he says, so he vowed to protect you at all cost. but you didn’t quiet need the helping, you’re beidou’s cousin after all.

“don’t you miss your home land?” you asked, standing beside him who seem to be reminiscing at the railing of the ship. it’s dark, and the moon looked magnificent. “i do, yes. but i’m not quite ready to go back yet.” he says silently. looking at you who’s looking at the endless sea.

he liked how the light of the moon reflects on your features. “you look just as magnificent as the moon tonight.” he whispers, but you obviously heard, looking at him surprised. a chuckle escaped his lips upon seeing your surprised face. “i’m sorry. was that too sudden?” he asks.

but you could barely speak, and you couldn’t help but smile and blush. “we’re buddies.” you said looking away. buddies. somewhat that title made his chest sting a little. he wasn’t gonna deny that he gained feelings for you as days pass by, you’re strong, kind, and beautiful. he guesses he fell the first time you held his hand while you patch him up back then when you saved him from exhaustion.

and he wasn’t afraid to voice it out, he figures if you knew he’ll get the chance to make you fall for him too. “can i have the honors to fall deeper in love with you?” he asks while you look at him blushing and surprised. unknown to the both of you, beidou and some crux members drunkly watches.

diluc

you used to be a friend of diluc’s. back when he was still a happy young man, and the cavalry captain of the knights of favonious. but alas, as you know his father died and him and his brother fell apart. so did your friendship with him.

he didn’t really want to. he just felt so betrayed then, that he thought you’d betray him too so he distanced himself from everyone. but he still tried to fix it, he tried to save it. he sighs fidgeting the ring you’ve given him then back when you were 17.

“thats silly.” you chuckled as you’re sat between his legs, back resting against his chest. “aren’t you the one who wanted to marry me then? you were like ‘’luc, when we grow up i want you to marry me.’” he mocks with a laugh. “shut up! it was puppy love!”

you slapped his thigh playfully before he grabbed your hand and placed the ring on your middle finger. the both of you fell silent as you looked at it. he kissed it with a smile. “i’ll marry you one day. i promise i will.” he whispers, resting his chin on top of your head.

he still is and will always be in love with you. still in love with the way you smile whenever you would receive an anonymous gift that is obviously from him. in love with the way you talk. especially when you engage conversation with him, even if it’s just a short while.

he loves every second that your attention is on him. in love with how playful you are and how you would still tease him like how it was back then. and there kaeya chuckles at how smitten his dear brother looked as you walked with his ring on your finger.

childe

he isnt oblivious, he's not dense. so he picked up what he was feeling the first time he has ever felt it. you're his childhood sweetheart as his mother called it, you were always so nice, so caring not only to him but to everyone. it wasn't a question how he had a crush on you.

and then he realized that after he came back from the abyss, finding you sitting and crying from where you'd last seen him patiently waiting. 13 year old ajax realized that he is going to spend the rest of his life with you. "hey, i'm here. don't cry." his young self hugs you as you looked at his face, his eyes. they no longer feel alive.

"ajax..." you said in between tears burying your face in his chest. since then, even he's slightly changed you still stuck with him. but even you yourself did. everybody guesses that he was rubbing off on you. like he was talking about happy stuff then turned into wreaking havoc, while you are still a sweetheart but always there to taunt his behavior.

"stop acting so damn impulsive. archons, i swear i will drag you by the hair the next time i catch you picking fights with random agents." you threatened while you patch him up. now that you're older, and that glint in his eyes are no longer there. he still looked at you lovingly as he did back then.

xiao

he hates it whenever you would pester him. not because he hated your company, but because you're a mortal and he's scared of hurting you. because of his contract with morax, he vowed to not hurt any mortals after all, but oh well, it's not like anything he says could get in your stubborn head.

he grumbles and sighs as he watches you beside him with flowers on your lap, busy making a 'flower crown' for him. it's a fine day at wangshu inn, the wind was calming and the atmosphere is peaceful. t'was too comfortable than he's used to so he couldn't settle.

"are you uncomfortable?" you asked placing the flowers beside you scoot over closer to the almond tofu on the laid blanket where the two of you are seated, and placed it in front of him. he looks at you and then your lap. "this comfortable feeling... im not used to it." he says, and you gave him a small smile, fixing your posture so he could lay on your lap.

"you must be overwhelmed, huh. come, lay your head on my lap." you tapped your lap as a gesture but he just looked at you as if you just said something so dumb. "do you know how much harm my karmic dept can do? have i not told you enou-" his breath hitches as he felt your warm hands on his cheeks. "i dont mind, xiao. if it's for you then im willing to take the risk and help you even just for a short while."

you smiled so sweetly that he felt his tense shoulder go calmer, the warmth of your hands makes him feel week like you had him in some type of spell and he just succumbs to it as you slowly laid his head on your lap. "you seemed pretty close with the wangsheng funeral's consultant, mr zhongli, so i asked him about your dept. and he says it really doesnt harm mortals if they don't stick with you for long."

you chuckle, caressing his hair. his breathing slowly steadied as he felt more calmer and calmer. "so... rest easy even just for a little bit.." you whisper before humming him a lullaby. if he isn't hurting you... maybe he can try the thing that mortals call 'love'.

wanderer

"you... i don't love them! why would you even bring them here!?" kuni asks, at the verge of tears after seeing you again for the first time after he changed the past. nahida smiles, he was angry of seeing you, saying that he really didnt need to. but his heart and mind says otherwise, lets not forget that the dendro archon can read minds.

"but wanderer, i didn't bring them here, it was their choice that they came here." she sighs crossing her arms. his screaming echos inside the sanctuary of surasthana and nahida will not lie... it is annoying her. "they've talked to me about a certain dream, listen to me wanderer."

she tries her best to calm the puppet down and it slightly worked, though he is still crying. "it seems that you are appearing in their dreams, they said that in their dreams, you were asking them to find you." kuni looks at her as tears continues to stream down his cheeks. nahida is astonished of how a puppet can feel as if it were human. it seems that he, even without a heart is able to feel and love. considering that she too see's you in the dreams she gives him.

"i asked them to wait at the akademiya. to the place where most students go to, to rewind. they are waiting for you wanderer." she sends him off. and now there he is standing just a few feet behind you, he didnt know what he was feeling.

"so you really did manage find me huh? congratulations i guess." he coughs trying to seem tough and coat how his voice is about to break. you just stared at him speechless, debating whether he is real or not. walking over to him as your eyes start to gloss. "you're... you're real..." you said poking his cheeks. he smirked at your surprised face, oh, how much he missed making you cry. from the teasing of course. "of course i am. what? you still think this is a dream?"

he mocks flicking your forehead. "i... dont know you but... it seems like i've met you before." you say placing hand on his chest, he didn't move at all he just let you do as you pleased. "maybe we have. in a different past, perhaps." he smiles he couldn't take it anymore. he wanted to hold you again, kiss you, love you the way he did.

"mr... may i hug you?" you asked between tears. he smirks and without questions asked, he envelopes you back into his hugging you tightly. he is going to love you, and you're going to love him. but this time, he is to fulfil the future you once had planned with him. to live peacefully together, away from the people, where the two of you could live on your own. in a field of flowers, he remembers refusing but deep down all he wanted was just to be with you.

longest i'v ever written YALL BETTER APPRECIATE THIS OMGGG I LIKED AYATO'S THE MOST BECAUSE IT HAD ME BLUSHING N SHIILMAOO ANYWAYY HAPPY LOVE MONTH EVERYONE HOPE U GUYS ENJOY VALENTINES WITH UR PARTNERS <3333 MY REQUESTS R OPEN SO PLLS GIMME SOME CUZ IM MOSTLY BORED T-T

MASTERLIST

[parvuls]

be careful what you wish for. I kindly request the tiniest ficlet about your #3 song should you be inspired to do so 😌

#3 - cut to the feeling by carly rae jepsen

I had a dream, or was it real?

We crossed the line and it was on, we crossed the line

It was on this time

I've been denying how I feel

You've been denying what you want, you want from me

Talk to me, baby

Bitty wakes up on a bed wider than the one he's used to, eyelids heavy and shirt racked up to his ribs and sheets tangled around him, and the first thought his brain manages to conjure in the gray light of morning is: Jack kissed me.

It isn’t as much a memory as an extension of the night before -- tossing and turning in his childhood bed, reliving a single moment again and again and again until it stopped feeling real, started feeling like something his traitorous heart made up: a patchwork expertly sewn together from a foolish romantic’s hopes and dreams.

Except -- Lord, he’s so sure it was real. The silky texture of Jack's tie under his palms, the gentle press of Jack's thumb to the line of his jaw, the way another person's lips felt when sliding against his own -- those aren't details Bitty would've ever been able to dream up. It must've been real. Jack kissed him.

And even though Jack left with only a whispered promise to text, it still felt real. And later, at dusk, sitting on his mama’s porch swing and burying his beam in his knees as Jack Zimmermann filled his phone with texts, the idea of Jack and him felt real, like something Bitty could almost reach out and touch. It wasn’t hard, then, to remember the warmth of Jack’s mouth and believe he might get to feel it again -- not soon, maybe, but someday.

Now, though; now, in the gray light of morning, there’s a throbbing behind Bitty’s eyes, and no cloak of darkness to indulge his whimsical daydreams, and nothing to make him feel as certain as he was the day before. Not with him here, and Jack so far away, and nothing but Bitty's phone, lying face-down on the nightstand, to cross the distance between them. A Schrödinger's cat Bitty both wants and dreads to check on, suddenly not sure what he'll find.

Because if he doesn’t check, the disappointment won't have to sink in. If he doesn’t check, he won’t have to look for excuses for why Jack didn’t text again, won't have to assure himself of all the reasons it doesn’t mean a thing. If he doesn’t check, Bitty won’t have to spend the whole day jumping at every ping of his phone, won't have to feel pathetic for acting like the nature of Jack's feeling rested on a single text message. If he doesn't check, he won't have to remind himself that Jack’s busy, that his life and career are just starting, that of course Bitty isn’t the only thing on his mind.

If he doesn’t check, he won’t have proof that he isn’t the only thing on Jack’s mind, while Jack is very much the only thing on his.

But like everything else Bitty has ever tried to will away, he can’t really put it off forever. At some point he'll have to get up, will have to tell mama good morning and ask Coach about his team, will have to push his emotions so far down that they're completely out of sight. It's better to do it now, Bitty thinks courageously as he reaches a hand for his phone, as he tips it onto the mattress with his eyes clenched and his heart racing, as he tries to convince himself that if he only takes a brief look he won’t feel as let down when he only finds a blank screen.

He takes a deep breath, drags Señor Bun to rest against his side, and after a moment, then two, he looks.

His body reacts to the contact name displayed on the top of the screen before the words fully register; his heart leaps, a cheek-aching smile spreading on his face, and a burst of ecstatic frenzy rushes through his body, makes him smash his face back into the pillow and kick his feet against the sheets with embarassing delight.

05:31 AM: good morning bittle

05:34 AM: call me when you wake up :-)

[workingonit-currently]

It's pretty obvioys who this reminds me of. My favourite Oxventurer, Corazón. (Or more specifically Percy. The son of lord Milquetoast part of Corazón. The part he hates but also the part he loves.)

The song, I imagine refers to Corazón's early days as a boy trying to be an heir to his father, trying to play hide and seek, trying to impress his father, doing what was required of him and then slowly realising he'll never be good enough and slowly doing what makes him happy, unable to repress the pirate blood in his veins. (The part of him that scares Lord Milquetoast to death.)

(Inspired by/Original idea from a post by @moreau-griffins. They are super cool and I like them...they seem nice.)

For a more indepth think keep reading. If you're fine with the basics just chill.

When I was just a kid, everything I did was to be like him,

Refers to Corazón's unbringing of constantly being his fathers son, having to be like his father. Inicially he didn't mind, to young and dumb and aching for his fathers approval but then he realised he'd never get it. His father would never love him.

Under my skin.

You could say that this could refer to the pirate blood flowing in Corazón's veins, keeping him obsessed with the sea or you could say it's like Corazón's feelings of hiding hself away, of digging ugain and again under his skin and never getting anything from his father.

My father always though, if I was strong and fought,

I'd say this talks about Corazón being a proper upper-class son and being 'strong' enough to not care about his father or anyone's approval and to fight with the part of him that wants freedom and approval. So basically this line is Cor telling us that his father thoughts he could go with out love or approval but he can't, he craves it and he loves it, this leads to his constant need for attention and aytension seeking behaviour.

'Not like some albatross,'

Albatrosses are sea birds, referring to Corazón's pirate love and his want to be on the seas, free like a bird. Albatrosses are also not regal or elegant birds, they're sea birds similar in apperance to Seagulls, they make a squarking sound, this could be seen as what Lord Milquetoast views Corazón...Percy as, annoying and acting not of his class. This is reinforced by Albatrosses also meaning to symbolise bad luck or a type of curse, a pychological burden, like hiw Percy is to the Milquetoast name or how Percy sees his father. How they see each other is they are both curses, burrdens to each other. A father who doesn't love his son and a son who's a disgrace to his father.

'I'd begin, to fit in'

Refers to Percy not having anywhere to belong, he doesn't fit in with his class, he longs for freedom but he doesn't fit in in lower classes either. He trusts to easily, boasts to quickly and is so confident on the surface.

'Powerless, holding my breath'

Percy is nothing in the world, feels he's worthless and has to 'hold his breath', keep up the act, be the perfect son and heir. He has to keep up the Milquetoast name despite himself, he's holding his breath, not letting the true him breath.

'Trying hard to repress, what scared him to death.'

He's repressing what he probably got him shouted at as a kid as his fatger was often annoyed and angry, as stated in 'Mind your Manors'. He had to hide himself, he couldn' be a child, couldn't be a pirate, couldn't be anything except for the son of Lord Milquetoast, the heir and upper-class perfect boy. The sea-loving, reckless, proud and pirate part scaring his father, to much like his grandfather, to much like the purates the Milquetoast come from.

'It was never easy to be his type of man,'

Percy found it suffocating, hard and exhausting to keep up the mask, put on a performance every time he woke up, every time of every day for his entire child hood. He tried hard to be like his father, probably did everything, followed everything just to make his father proud, be the man his father wanted but he was never happy and neither was Percy. Percy was living a lie and his father was never satisfied.

'To breath freely was not in his plan'

Percy being his self was not what his father wanted, he still doesn't. He doesn't want his son to be himself, live his dreams or 'breath freely' because then he wouldn't be acceptable as an heir. This could also tell us that Percy was living the way his father wanted, his life planned out, nothing he did was free or what he wanted.

'And the best part of me, is what he wouldn't see'

The best part of Percy is Corazón, his thurst for adventure, his freedom, his pirate. Notive the wording, not 'he couldn't see', it's 'he wouldn't see'. This implies that Lord Milquetoast could see Percy yerning for the sea, he could see Percy's pirate nature, he could see Percy's dream but he refused to accept Percy like that, refused to see how happy it made his son or how skilled he was and hard hard he worked at it.

'I'm not my father's son.'

Corazón is not. He's not Percy, son of Lord Milquetoast, he's no one, he's a completely new person. He's his own creation, he is disowned by his father, his is no one. He made the jdentity himself, the proud, boastful, never-faultered Corazón and he's all his own, he's what he wants to be.

'I'm not the image of what he dreamed of.'

Corazón is not, he's exactly what his father didn't want Percy to be, he's a pirate, he's not in his born class, he's not a lord, he's not what his father wanted. He's a dissapointment and his father would rather kill him than let him destroy the Milquetoast name.

'With the strength of Sparta and the patience of Joel'

Percy was expected to be these things, strong enough not to need love and keep up his fake existance while being patient enough to wait for his fathers approval or praise that would probably never come. He used both of these things to wait, suppressing his dream and the pirate part of him.

'Still couldn't be the one to echo what he'd done,'

Percy couldn't keep it up, he couldn't carry the Milquetoast name and be the heir to his father. He couldn't be what his father wanted, he couldn't be a little clone of his cold father, Percy couldn't pive up to his father who made a name for himself and became a Lord and amassed a wealth.

'And mirror what was not in me'

Percy could not be the Milquetoast heir, he couldn't be cold and not seekibg love like his father, Percy needed love and approval. Slight dramatic irony there as what was actually in Percy was the blood of pirates, of freedom and exactly what he wanted, but he thought all that was in him was high-class blue blood. (He might as well have been royalty with the way his father acted.)

'So I jumped in my dream, and found an escape.'

So Percy ran away from his life as Percy, he found an escape as he became Corazón, a pirate that he always dreamed of. He just couldn't take anymore, had to be himself, live his dreams.

'Maybe I went to extremes of leather and lace'

Corazón was to much, he didn't know how to act or dress or actuall be a pirate, leading him to go to extremes of theatrics, 'lace', and boasting, 'leather'. This could also show what he dressed in, pirates wearing leather and lace or at least Corazón doing that since he is slightly rich, he probably stole a bit of money from his father. The going to extremes could also represent Corazón admiting that he goes a bit to far boasting and talking about his adventures.

'But the world seemed brighter six inches of the ground,'

But despite all his flaws Corazón is who Percy is now, he's all he's ever wanted. He's free and he's on the sea, he's a pirate and he's happier than he's ever been before. The world seems brighter now he's in his boots and on his ship.

'And the air seemed lighter, I was profound.'

Corazón is happy, he's free, he's profound, happy, in a state of extremely powerful emotion. Profound is also a word used for the deepest part of something, especially the ocean. Meaning Corazón was learning to be a pirate, learning new words and becoming better, more at home on the sea as it welcomed him.

'And I felt so proud, just to live out loud."

Corazón is finally living, he's finally expressing himself, showing to the world what he is and who he is even if he's not doing it 100%, he's more free than he was with his father. He's stating how weird it is to simply be overwhelmed with happyness as he just lives slightly as himself, it shouldn't be this amazing to show a little part of him but it is and it also shows how strict his father had been, never letting Percy be himself.

'I'm not my father's son, I'm not the image of what he dreamed of. With the strength of Sparta and the patience of Joel, still couldn't be the one to ech what he'd done and mirror what was not in me.'

Corazón this sime accepts that he'll never be his fathers son, he also won't be the best pirate like the thought he would, he'll learn, he'll become better and be free but he still hopes, somewhere inside of him, he'll eventually become so great and such a famous pirate that maybe his father will be proud of him or notice him because deep down Corazón is still Percy and Percy cares so much about his father and his approval and love.

'The endless torrent of expectations, swirling around me head.'

Corazón is free but he still doubts himself still hears his fathers voice and still feels his fathers influence.

'Wore me down.'

His self confidence is so fragile and wwak he hides it, defending it with his endless, defensive confidence and egotistical nature. He's been so worn down trying to be someone else, trying to act better Corazón doesn't know when to stop, who he truely is and how he really acts. He's unsure of who he actually is and is to scared to find out.

'I came to a realisation and finally turned around, to see, that I could just he me...'

After so long Percy can finally be himself, after storms and pressure, his confidence being shattered by his father, his crew hunting him down, his dad trying to kill him and many years of being alone Corazón finally meets the Oxventurers and they embrace him, he finally has friends and a family. He finally turned around to see that he could be himself, that Egbert is just as clumbsy and embarassing as him, Dob is just as hopelessly emotional, Merilwen is just as unsure and quiet, Prudence is just as defensive and vunerable. He's found where he belongs and he can be himself or start to be himself, havinga family that likes him and despite their jokes, truely care for him.