I may just be delirious but I kind of feel like there's something there about some of the most traumatic events in Arakawa's life arguably stemming from/being made worse by being loved too much.
Like, Toshio's death, right. The death of a parent is always always going to be traumatic, particularly when your other parent is abusive, but I feel like being there, being the first to the scene, made it so much worse. Especially when it should've been a good memory.
Non-zero chance I'm just projecting because I was there for my own father's death and I was around Arakawa's age at the time, but it's like... it did have very specific life-long effects, didn't it... the way he keeps coming back to Peking duck and talks about it like he's had it before when he can't even bring himself to eat it unless he's with family (and indeed, never did, up until right before he died)...
And then there's his former patriarch. Of course, he seemed to see Arakawa as more of an object--fully under his control and something to be thrown away at the first sign of autonomy. But I feel like, before then, Arakawa must've been his "favorite," if he was willing to arrange a marriage between his daughter and Arakawa. Which I expect is what made his reaction when Arakawa told him he was (technically) having an affair with Akane and wanted out of the family that extreme in going as far as to send men after Akane and Ichiban.
The last one I can immediately think of is not exactly traumatic for him, though it is traumatic For Me so I'm counting it, but it's of course what we were talking about with Jo hesitating so much at the thought of killing Arakawa that he passed up the chance to save him.
I Dunno I Am Delirious but... there's a pattern somewhere in there... Anyway. Uh. "Happy" Father's Day am I right
happy fathers day :]]]]
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if you have hair that you can brush when it's dry without it immediately exponentially increasing in volume, please, please, leave me out of your hair care tips. I really, really don't need to hear your opinion on how often I wash it or the products I use. The conditioner weighing it down and making it greasy is literally not possible. It being heavy is a good thing. No conditioner isn't optional. I'm pleased for you that your bristle brush is working for you! But it can only redistribute oils if you can pull it through the hair to start with.
Trying to give hair care advice to someone based on what you do when they have hair with a completely different texture is like trying to apply cactus care tips to bedding flowers. It's like putting wood polish on aluminium. It literally will not work. Do not comment on my hair routine being high maintenance if you have the option to forgo all hair products and only wash it with water and can still wear it loose. What did people do before conditioner? Well with my hair type they were 100% using oil to moisturise it and they also didn't wear it down.
Its not the same. It's not grown dependent on conditioner over time. It's always been dependent on conditioner to look like this. It can not retain moisture by itself. If I didn't condition it I would have to keep it plaited all the time or it would twist in to itself without any input. It only looks similar enough to your hair that you think your tips will work because I've put in an enormous amount of effort to keep it healthy in spite of me wearing it loose and uncovered most of the time. Your hair looks neat when you brush it and the weather doesn't destroy it, we aren't the same.
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I hate word limits so I'm gonna make my own post about this instead of rambling in replies:
The far right fascists that want to commit genocide have existed before Trump and they will continue to exist without trump. Your job isn't to vote blue and relax. Likewise, those who disagree and don't want to vote aren't your enemy, no matter how much you may disagree. Likewise again, those who say you have to vote aren't your enemy even if you think that's coming from a place of ignorance. We need to be united here, we need to be stronger than the already united far right in order to stop them.
And to do that? We really need to look at ourselves and remember who we are; we are all people, from all walks of life, whose lives we cannot judge and make assumptions about. People from all over, no matter where they're from or how they've lived, can have an opinion you really don't like. Even so, if you both want to fight fascism, they must be an ally and you need to learn to tolerate the fact not everyone is going to agree with you if you want long lasting change and to actually get into activism. Yelling at other leftists online isn't going to solve systematic issues caused by far right racists who are okay with killing either one of you. An enemy of your enemy is your friend in a fight for survival and I think, especially online, many leftists forget this.
So remember; Trump isn't the be all and end all of your activism, it should be deeper than that and we all need to collectively come together if we don't want to all freaking die. This isn't about "well you're selfish and don't care if you don't do activism this way or that way" it's about learning to do what you can and let people do what they can, despite your differences, because either way we won't survive this if we're all divided.
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at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.
because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.
so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.
it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.
your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.
you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.
welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!
your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."
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You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite, especially in cases like predstrogen recently? Or yall gonna stay silent and keep letting/making us get pushed off of it.
I have a number of asks about this, so this is to address all of them, I won't do each individually.
We generally do not comment on individual cases, but because there seems to be mass misinformation around this, I will make an exception and comment on predstrogen.
First, Tumblr has a number of LGBT+ including trans people on staff, and they see things from the inside fully, and they're not protesting this case.
Why do we wrongly have a transphobe reputation? We did have an external contract moderator last year that was making transphobic moderation (and also selling moderation, criminally). As soon as we were aware that person was fired, and we later terminated the entire relationship with that contracting firm and have brought almost everything in-house (at great cost). I have previously commented on this publicly, several times.
I am not aware of any Automattician (people who work at Automattic and Tumblr) who has made any transphobic moderation actions. If it's reported it is investigated immediately, if anything were found that person would be terminated for cause immediately.
Predstrogen's account was suspended for:
Repeated mis-tagging of adult content against Tumblr's community guidelines. This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.
Multiple cases of harassment of other Tumblr users, not just me.
Multiple threats of violence, not just the one I share below.
These represent a breach of our Terms of Service, and we've exercised our right to refuse service.
Threats of violence are never okay. Threats of violence are not protected speech. We will work with police and FBI where appropriate, though to be clear prestrogen's case hasn't warranted that so far. I'm referring to what we may potentially do for other threats. I just got a death threat yesterday from someone mad about predstrogen, and that account was immediately terminated.
So regardless of whether you still think Tumblr staff is somehow a bunch of transphobes, know that threats of violence or death are still not acceptable and will result in immediate and serious action. Know that when you rile people up, they can do dumb things with possibly permanent consequences.
(2 hours later update: I have changed instances of the pronoun "they" or "their" to "the account" because I am unaware of pronoun preference in this instance and don't want to misgender anyone. Thank you for the people who reported this as an issue. Update 2: "She" is apparently better, the post now says that. Sorry for the mistake.)
Here's one (of many!) examples of the harassment violations, this one targets me but there are others targeting other users on the site.
The second part seems to indicate she wanted to be suspended, I'm unaware of why, perhaps to create this sort of uproar. I agree the hammers feel silly, but the start, "i hope photomatt dies forever a painful death" is a violation of Tumblr's community guidelines and terms of service.
The car part did hit close to home as I have almost died twice in car accidents.
Update 2: Added this text to the adult content part: This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.
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