#and we are not quite at the winter palace

[undiscovered-horizon]

In Emerald Hearts, Emerald Minds - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[mentions of unwanted advances + suggested groping + suggestive/sexual (consensual) themes]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

SUMMARY: When Vasily asks you to forget his half-brother and marry him instead, you escape the Little Palace along Alina. Nikolai realizes something strange is going on when Kaz mentions seeing a similar emerald ring on the woman that came with the Sun Summoner. With how much you and Nikolai have been running in circles to find each other, the reunion aboard Volkvolny feels almost fated.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.6k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

It feels like the Winter Fete has been going on forever. The champagne keeps on being poured, the guests keep on dancing and the circus acts just keep on performing as though tomorrow is a mere mirage, a concept of a certain time period that never actually comes. Inside those walls of gold and marble, the misery devouring all of Ravka seems like nothing beyond a mad nightmare - something so removed from reality, it’s hilarious in its ridiculousness. Everyone is so carefree and happy you almost take their joy as your own.

Almost.

The orchestra begins playing Waltz of the Flowers and you feel your throat tighten. Despite doing your best not to, your mind relives that fateful night when everything changed. For the longest time, you’d been claiming that the change was for the better but now, standing alone for another year in a row and watching the dashing aristocrats spin to the music, you’re not so sure anymore.

“You really need to stop doing this,” Nikolai says firmly. Although his tone is decisive and clearly unwilling to accept defiance, a pronounced hint of amusement lives between his words - a thread of light-heartedness, one might say.

Your eyebrows gently furrow. “Doing what?”

“Smiling at me like that. Any longer and I might ask you to marry me.”

It feels like you’re about to burst at the seams. Trying to contain your emotions, and failing at it quite horribly, you bite your lower lip. “I might say yes.”

“Where have you gone, Kolya?” you whisper under your breath. The gloss of vacancy covering your eyes blurs the dancing bodies into one mass of faceless strangers. But it also makes you not notice someone approaching you.

“I find it quite admirable.”

Vasily’s voice startles you. To your now-gone relief, you didn’t have the displeasure of running into him all evening - until now. If you were to list all of the things about the older Lantsov son that makes your skin crawl, you’d be done by the time another Winter Fete is organized. The top of the list, however, deserves to be mentioned as it’s an inseparable part of your every interaction with the prince: he’s quite adamant and crude in his desire to be more than just a future brother-in-law to you.

“Excuse me?” you stutter out.

That patronizing look on his face is now accompanied by a cocky half-grin as he realizes he caught you off-guard. “Your devotion to my brother. For all we know, he might be already dead, Saints’ protect him.”

“Don’t even say that!” you hiss at him. Right after, you look around to check whether one of the guests has noticed your unpleasant exchange.

Despite what you’ve just said, you know he’s right. There’s no way you can be sure that your Kolya is either dead or alive. Perhaps this is the detail further ripping your heart apart - you don’t know anything about his fate; you’re mourning, although you’re yet to see the coffin. You haven’t for a few years now and each passing month of silence only made court gossip more cruel and bold.

“All I’m saying, dearest,” Vasily begins quietly as his hand drags along your arm, “is that the moment the news of Nikolai’s death reaches the Grand Palace, you’ll be thrown out. On the other hand, I can make you the Queen of Ravka. And unlike my brother, I won’t disappear off the face of the Earth and forget about his beloved lady.”

The word of endearment is dripping with sarcasm as it leaves his chapped lips. His breath reeks of alcohol and you unknowingly turn your head away. Vasily seems to think you’re about to leave his side, so his hand tightly grips your arm. The hold is almost bruising. He yanks you even closer towards himself.

“Kolya hasn’t forgotten about me,” you say in a shaky voice. Maybe he’s not as foolish as he appears and Vasily is genuinely trying to break you down.

The prince studies your face for a moment, definitely noticing how shaken you are. His eyes have the strangest glint to them - something between desire and contempt. “Is that so?” he barely stifles a grim laugh. “He would have written you a letter if that were true, no?”

Tears sting your eyes. Vasily is certainly smarter, or at least more cruel, than he lets on. He knows exactly what to say to get into your head. It’s a startling difference between him and Nikolai - only one of them does what he can to keep a smile on your face. Well, did.

His dirty, rough hand grabs your chin. Vasily forces you to look at him, his smile wavers upon noticing your desperation. “Consider your options, зайка,” he purrs out. The prince’s other hand trails your face. “The choice is yours.”

A tear falls down your cheek. You feel it rolling across your skin and you silently hope the guests surrounding you are watching this scene. Then, you lean in even closer to Vasily’s face. The whisper leaves your lips like a viper’s venomous hiss: "I will marry you the day you lay his dead body at my feet."

To your surprise, Vasily drops his hands and takes a step back. Despite the self-assured smile on his face, you can see the fury inside his eyes. “As you wish.” He bows curtly, turns on his heel and marches away, undoubtedly looking for another glass of alcohol and a lady naive enough to warm his bed.

The palace suddenly feels stuffy and overcrowded; the music is too loud, the plethora of smells make your head spin.

Outside. You need to get outside.

Bumping into several guests and mumbling half-coherent apologies, you run through the halls of the Little Palace. When the cold, night air hits your flushed cheeks, only then do you stop. Taking in a deep breath, you can actually feel your thoughts becoming clearer. 

With each gust of freezing wind, all the anger and sadness is leaving your shaking body. Vasily just wanted to get a rise out of you and, as much as you don’t want to admit it, he succeeded. Unlike he claims, Nikolai surely is alive. Maybe bruised or sick or not sleeping well but as long as there’s no news about him being dead, he is as alive as one can be. The same starry sky hangs above your and his heads. Perhaps, in this small moment of longing, he’s thinking about you too. Wherever he is.

A tired sigh leaves your lips. You’re about to turn around and go back inside when a silhouette moving in the night catches your attention. The shape is swift although careful like a lizard approaching a fly. You see them looking around before running for another few meters only to hide behind a bush or piece of architecture.

Curious and a little scared, you follow the stranger towards one of the carriages. Quietly, you get close enough to grab their wrist. The shape lets out a gasp and turns around to look at you.

“Alina?!” you whisper. What in Saints’ mercy is she doing? You look at her warm, casual clothes and the bag on her back. “Are you running away?”

“I need to leave,” she answers equally quietly. Her voice as well as her stare is filled with certainty - she’s convinced beyond reasonable doubt this is the right thing to do. “Please, don’t try to stop me.”

You let go of her hand. “Stop you?” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “I’m coming with you.”

“What?” she deadpans. Alina is staring at you with a vacant stare and her mouth slightly agape. Apparently exchanging royal comforts for hay and stolen apples is unthinkable.

“If I have to spend one more day around Vasily, I will murder someone.”

Alina slowly nods her head - she can definitely understand the sentiment. A dimwitted Fjerdan would have more charm than the older prince. But then she squints her eyes, looking at you with a sense of scepticism.

“Out there, there won’t be warm beds and three-course dinners, you know?”

“I know,” you answer with a careless shrug. Loitering and wandering isn’t for ladies of your sort, it’s like throwing a finless fish into a tank with sharks. Despite that, you’re quite convinced the means justify the end, at least in this scenario. “But out there is my Kolya. And I’m done politely waiting for him.”

A shadow of sadness covers her face. If there’s anyone who can understand your plight, it’s her. In fact, she is luckier than you - she saw her lover maybe an hour ago. Pleasant or unpleasant, the meeting confirmed to her that Mal is at least alive. It’s not a privilege you could afford.

“Then let’s go,” she says to you before opening the chest in the back of the carriage. Forgetting all of your etiquette and social standing, you climb into the compartment with her. Towards adventure or death, you’re going somewhere.

“The ring gave you away,” Kaz announces. “It’s too expensive for a bodyguard.”

Jesper knits his eyebrows together, suddenly remembering something. He leans towards Kaz but speaks a little too loudly for the question to be inconspicuous: “Didn’t that girl wear the same-”

When Kaz’s cold glare meets Jesper’s squinted eyes, the dark-skinned man immediately closes his mouth halfway through the question. Both of them sit back as they were but the cat is already out of the bag. Well, not entirely - half of it is peeking out of the metaphorical sack.

Nikolai looks between them with unmissable suspicion. Although he’s heard enough to be aware of the possibility that the Sun Summoner isn’t travelling by herself, this is the first time either of the Crows admits it.

His heart begins to beat slightly quicker: Alina run away from the Little Palace along with another woman and that lady was wearing a royal jewel at the time. As long as Vasily didn’t lose his signet on one of his distasteful escapades, the course of events points to only one person - you. Shoving his restless excitement into the deepest chasms of his heart, Nikolai manages to remain his composure:

“Who was wearing that ring?” The prince-turned-privateer unknowingly fiddles with the heavy jewellery on his finger. Noticing the Crows’ reluctance, he makes them an offer: “If you tell me who you saw wearing an emerald ring, I might, say, give you ten minutes to escape.” Nikolai vaguely gestures to the closed window on his right-hand side.

Kaz knows there’s no point in lying any longer. The man in front of him is not only well-informed but also smarter than he looks, making the Crow wonder whether he also knows the answer to this question but prefers to play some kind of a game. In any event, he’s done his part of the deal and his ex-accomplices are left to their own devices. Additionally, he could really use those ten minutes. “A young woman that accompanied Alina Starkov. High-born, confident, decisive. Not a Grisha as far as I know.”

“Not a Lantsov, obviously,” Jesper chips in.

Brekker’s keen eyes catch the barely noticeable change in Sturmhond’s expression - the corner of his mouth merely stuttered up and down but it is enough to tell Kaz as much as he needs:

“You know her.”

Know her? If Nikolai had a weaker grip on his emotions at the moment, he’d laugh until his stomach and diaphragm hurt and then he’ll burst with laughter once more, unspeakably joyous that he might get to see her sooner than he thought. Yes, he does know her but in the way heart knows blood and lungs know air. She’s the ligament that keeps his bones together, the fibres that construct his muscles, the very blood that runs in his veins. Does the Moon simply know the stars? Do trees know their roots and branches?

But for now, he needs to stay focused. 

“Not really,” Sturmhond answers while scrunching his nose. “Many aristocrats wear a ring like that. While I may know of a lot of them, I hardly know anything about them.”

Kaz fights back a mocking half-grin begging to twist his thin lips. “I’d argue that an emerald in Ravka is a rather rare gem.”

“Hers is probably genuine. Mine’s stolen.”

Silence falls between the three men. Nikolai and Kaz are staring each other down, battling in some kind of war of wits and nerves, waiting for the other to give in. Jesper is stealing glances at both of them, feeling the cold tension rise in the air.

Against his deep-seated desire, Kaz doesn’t inquire further about the emeralds or the strange coincidence that the two enigmatic characters wearing them might know each other. He sits back in the chair, his shoulders visibly drop. As much as he’d love to dig deeper, he’d much rather get out of here and reclaim his freedom that is now endangered.

“Well, gentlemen,” Nikolai begins in an upbeat tone, “your ten minutes start now.”

Without saying anything else, he leaves the room. Only then, when the dark, wooden door close behind him, does he let suppressed emotions wash over him. A quiet chuckle brushes past his lips and for a moment even tears sting his eyes. Delight, worry, relief - conflicting sensations merge into one, completely overpowering flame burning inside his chest.

Maybe he doesn’t have the Sun Summoner and he still needs to come up with a plan to catch her but Nikolai hasn’t been this happy for a while now: his солиышко is alright, still making the world brighter and warmer. If he can get to Alina Starkov, he might see her again, although he begins to wonder whether she wishes to see him after all those years of silence and ignorance. But if he can see her, just witness the marvel of her entire being even for one last second, he’ll be cured of the longing and loneliness that has been gnawing at him ever since he left Os Alta.

You’re following the Shu man to what you assume is his captain’s cuddy. The ship creeks and groans under the weight of the crew as well as the power of the waves. The bussing crewmen spare the three of you a glance, only to show disinterest and go back to their duties. It’s a nice change compared to the kerchen ship you travelled on to Novyi Zem, where the captain asked Alina and you to stay under the deck because of the sailors’ superstition. After getting off the ship, it took you a good week to wash out the reek of cured cod from your clothes and hair. Sometimes you still felt like you can smell it in the air, even in the dusty wind sweeping through Novyi Zem.

Your ‘guide’ pushes the door and they swing open with a creak, the list of the ship aiding the motion. Except for the squeaky hinges, probably rusting faster than anyone can manage, Volkvolny is in good shape. In fact, it looks brand new - no mould or woodworms.

“Captain, request for charter,” the stocky stranger announces with a hint of amusement or excitement in his voice. Despite his imposing visage, the Shu man has made a good impression on you but the long sword on his back kept you vigilant against getting too comfortable in his company.

Only when he moves to the side, presenting the three of you to his captain, do you see the face of the infamous Sturmhond.

You want to laugh. In fact, you have to clench your fists to stop yourself from bursting out with laughter. This situation feels like the strangest coincidence that you can think of, which in turn makes you suspect that it’s not a coincidence at all. Because what are the odds?

Nikolai’s face momentarily brightens up when he recognizes you, a new glint lights up his eyes. He looks different than you remember but in all the right ways: his shoulders look broader and his hair is longer, curling in a way that makes him appear more infantile. You remembered him as a handsome man but the Nikolai in front of you is beautiful enough to be considered unreal.

He's staring into you like a deer caught in headlights until Tolya hands him Alina’s unusual means of payment. As Nikolai is turning the piece of jewellery in his fingers, you notice another change: his hands look rougher, definitely scarred from all the adventures you hope you’re yet to hear about.

The blond prince turns his attention back to Alina, Mal and you. “A gold hairpin can get you anywhere. But an emerald ring?” He gestures to you. “It can get you everywhere.”

“It’s not for sale,” you answer, although you know he’s not trying to buy it. After all, he’s the one that gave it to you.

“I don’t want it.” Nikolai shakes his head. Then, a flirty smile appears on his face. “Looks better on you anyway, doll.”

You’re about to respond to his remark when his attention is once again placed on Alina. “Now, Tolya says you’re looking for a charter. Where are we sailing?”

Alina begins the story with ‘the creation of the world’ as your mother used to say: the Little Palace, Darkling, Morozova’s amplifiers and the Fold. Nikolai nods along, never giving away that he’s privy to most of the story. He doesn’t believe in the Sea Whip at first but that’s hardly his fault - not too long ago people wouldn’t believe in the existence of the Sun Summoner and now she’s standing beside you, nervously rubbing her hand. As you have expected from the moment you saw that Nikolai is Sturmhond, he agrees to the insanity of taking up the quest to catch the amplifier.

“Tolya will show you around.” He sends you off. You’re about to follow your friends out of the cuddy when he adds: “You, emerald lady, I’d like to talk to in private.”

Alina gives you a concerned look (‘blink twice if you need help’)  but you only smile and nod at her in response. With Mal tugging at her arm, she reluctantly leaves you and Sturmhond alone.

The moment the door closes behind Tolya and your friends, Nikolai runs around his desk towards you, engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. His hand threads through your hair, pushing your head further into the crook of his neck. Even if you tried, there’s no way you can pull away or even move. Taking a deep breath, you smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne but now it’s mixed with the scent of resin, saltwater and seaweed.

Then he pulls away, looking you up and down with burning worry. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?”

You swear he could be bleeding out on the floor and still he’d be apologizing for staining your clothes. It’s heartwarming that despite the years and evident change in his appearance, Kolya is still Kolya.

A wide smile enters your face. “Looking for a frisky sailor to take me on a voyage filled with indecency, obviously.”

“Well, here he is.” Nikolai points to himself and winks at you. “And he’d really like to know why you’re in Novyi Zem with the Sun Summoner and whats-his-face and not in the Grand Palace in Os Alta.”

You let out a heavy sigh and shake your head gently. “I grew tired, Kolya.” His eyebrows slant upon hearing the exhaustion in your voice. Despite the sheer happiness he feels when you say his name, the concern gnawing at his heart seems to be more powerful. “Years have gone by without you giving me even the tiniest sign that you’re alive and well. And your brother, Saint’s have mercy on him because I won’t, has been adamant about marrying me ever since you left. I told him I will accept his proposal the day he lays your dead body before me.” You make pause, noticing a strange shadow hanging over Nikolai’s face. But he’s not saying anything for a moment, so you finish what you wanted to say: “I had to get away from it all. There’s only so much uncertainty and intruding fingers a lady can take.”

“By the Saints,” he breathes out, “did Vasily lay a hand on you?”

You feel his grip around you tighten but it’s not painful, rather securing. “If you’re asking whether he hit me or forced himself on me, then no, he did not. He did, however, make it abundantly clear what he wants from me. On multiple occasions.”

Nikolai’s face twists in a scowl. The glint that lit up his eyes when he saw you is now gone, exchanged for something dark and unstable. “I’m so sorry, if I knew-”

“I know, love,” you interrupt him. He doesn’t need to announce the ends he’d go to in order to ensure you’re safe and comfortable. Nikolai has never said or done so but you’re fairly convinced he wouldn’t shy away from fistfighting Vasily if he said something less-than-savoury to you. “But neither of us could have known.”

“I promised you’d be safe in Os Alta.”

“And I promised to stay put.” You can’t keep laughter in any longer. You’re not quite sure whether your chuckle is born out of happiness or disbelief. “Now look at us.”

Suddenly, he knits his eyebrows close. At first, you think he’s confused but then the slight rise of his cheeks suggests something closer to contempt or disgust. "Would you actually marry Vasily if he gave you my dead body?"

You can only give him an indifferent shrug. "Maybe?” you ponder aloud. “If you were dead, I would lose all care about what happens to me or with me. In a way, I’d be dead too."

Nikolai takes one of your hands and kisses its fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his warm lips against your skin. “I could never rest in peace knowing how he’s treating you.”

“Having you haunt me would be incomparably better than you just being gone. Everything is better than silence.”

His shoulders slouch. Nikolai looks away from you for a moment, admiring the floor in his cuddy but even this can’t hide his guilt and shame. “I couldn’t have just popped in for a visit. Not anywhere in Ravka.”

"You couldn't even have written me a letter?"

"Someone at the palace would recognize my handwriting. I couldn't risk it."

"Then you could have dictated the letter to one of your crew."

That self-assured, flirty smirk appears again on his face. "And scandalize my crewmen with the things I want to tell you?”

As much as you’ve dearly missed his insufferable humour, at the moment it’s making your skin crawl. “This is a serious conversation, Nikolai,” you state firmly.

“I am serious, солиышко.” The pet name rolls off his tongue with both weight and lightness as though it belongs exclusively to you and no one else can ever claim it as their own. He kisses your hand again but keeps it against his lips for a while longer. Then, he places your fingers on his chest and you can feel the soft thrumming of his heart. “Do you think I never thought about writing to you? That I didn’t stay up at night thinking about what I will tell you when we meet again? Countless letters I have begun only to tear them apart and throw them into the sea or burn them. If some people found out we know each other, you’d be in much greater danger than Darkling following your steps. I’d rather deal with the heartbreak of staying away from you than know I put you in danger because I can’t live without you.”

It brings you a grim sense of comfort that he’s been equally torn as you were over the lack of contact. You never thought about it before but Nikolai must have been worried sick, not knowing whether you’re alright and happy. Has he imagined your plight and misery as often as you did his?

“What did you write in those letters?” you ask in a shaky voice.

“I wrote about how much I miss you, how it physically hurts to consider that you might think I have abandoned you. When I was hungry, cold, tired or sick, only the memories of you made me push on. On nights when I couldn’t sleep, I’d stare at the sky above me and wonder whether you’re looking at the same stars. I wrote that wherever I go, I see your face. You are in every sunrise and sunset, every flower I see and every fire that warms me.” Nikolai lets go of your fingers, placing both of his hands on either side of your face. The softness in his eyes makes you swoon. “I only wrote the truth,” he says slowly, making sure you understand the weight of his words.

Swallowing back tears, you lean into his warm touch. “My beloved, my heart yearns for you?” you jest in a dramatic voice.

A playful smile creeps back unto his lips. “If only my heart.”

“Gross.”

“You wanted a frisky sailor.”

"You’re a pirate, not a sailor.”

"I’m a privateer,” he drones out the word as though it makes a world of a difference.

"Pirate sounds sexier."

Nikolai gives you a fake frown. “Oh, I definitely am a pirate."

Without thinking twice, he’s kissing you. The sensation is just as comforting as you remember. His soft lips are doting on you, growing needier with each peck as though this is some feverish attempt at making up the lost time. 

He pulls away to catch his breath and although you’re panting yourself, you unknowingly chase after him, unwilling to dismiss this carnal desire just yet. Nikolai seems to notice your eagerness - he flashes you a cocky grin and shortly pecks your lips again.

“You crossed Ravka, the Fold and the sea just to find me?” he whispers. His eyes are stuck to your wet, swollen mouth.

“And I’d do it a hundred more times if I had to.”

You exchange a few more hungry kisses, pecking and nipping at each other’s lips, before Nikolai continues the conversation:

“I want to say that I’m flattered but I’d rather not encourage you to do something this stupid and dangerous ever again.”

“Hate to break it to you but you took all the stupid with you.”

He rests his forehead against yours; hot, laboured breaths brush against your flushed cheeks. “I’d like to clarify that I’m not stupid, I just can’t seem to think about anything other than you.”

Nikolai wraps his arms around your waist. In a swift motion, he turns you around and pushes you against the edge of his desk. His strength surprises you when Nikolai effortlessly lifts you and places you atop the table, pushing off maps and navigation essentials. Firm, warm hands are restlessly wandering across your body, unsure where to lay or what to grab.

You gasp quietly when his fingers sneak underneath your shirt. “Is this the indecent part of the voyage, my frisky sailor?”

“By the Saints, I hope so,” he whispers against your lips. Then, he furrows his eyebrows questioningly. “Is that offensive to say around a living Saint?”

“I don’t think Alina heard you.”

His nimble fingers are quickly undoing the buttons on your clothes. “Well, she will hear you in a moment.”

“Gross,” you say with laughter in your voice but the word gets muffled as Nikolai gets back to kissing you again.

Even if the crew did hear you that day, no one dared say a word.

зайка [zay-ka] - bunny (feminine; term of endearment)

солиышко [sol-nee-shko] - little sun (unisex; term of endearment)

[dungeonpuppykai]

|| Back To Black ||

Description: When the Winter soldier experiments go wrong on your fiance Crown Prince James Barnes and he ends up crippled and unstable, you call the engagement off and your family proposes that the alliance can still be on if his family pairs you up with his twin brother Nick instead. All seems to be fine and dandy until James breaks out of the lab one night and comes straight for you, razing everyone who stands in his way.

Pairing: Dark!Winter Soldier James Bucky Barnes | Morally Gray Princess!You. 

Disclaimer: I do not own James Bucky Barnes, Nick Fowler or any of the MCU characters mentioned (sadly). This story contains dark and mature content. Minors do not interact.  

Warnings: Dubcon, morally gray!reader, opportunistic reader, smut with plot, dark!Bucky, angst, winter soldier, exhibitionism, choking, hair pulling, slapping, humiliation, degradation, dumbification, manhandling, unprotected p-in-v, biting, missionary and doggy style, breeding kink, creampie, fear kink, power imbalance, Bucky's metal arm (?), pet names (rosey, baby), Daddy kink, sir kink.

Note: I think this sounds a bit unserious and somewhat goofy aah but this was exactly my idea and I don't think I could have done it any different. Please let me know what you think <3 

. 

You rolled your eyes with a scoff at something your now fiance and ex brother-in-law to be, Crown Prince Nick Barnes, said. The night was cool and you had ordered for the lights of the garden that your balcony faced to be turned down. Your silk nightgown that was dark blue in color -Nick's royal color- hung from your shoulders in the most comforting way as the skirt bit of the article swayed with the gentle breeze. You heard Nick's chuckle on the other end of the video call and before you retorted with something edgy because that was just the kind of Princess that you were, you shifted against the railing to make yourself more comfortable while still holding the phone in such a way that he could see you.

His demanding nature was not one you particularly fancied but you supposed that was the kind of liberty that came with being an actual heir. Though you couldn't help but be reminded of how although his brother -the older twin- was a much better crown prince than Nick could ever be and yet he had never made you feel inferior in status by imposing his will on you.  

It was impossible for you not to muse on the possibility that if your older sister, The actual Crown Princess of your kingdom, had been chosen by his brother instead of you, Nick would still treat her the same way and if she would put up with having to be subservient. 

"All things considered, Your Royal Highness, we are still not having a dozen children" the title never failed to sting your tongue due to how you had never had to use it for your original fiance. 

But Nick was just one of those people. 

His snort made you want to roll your eyes but you knew better than to disrespect him as the two of you shared a rather formal relationship that was quite terse around the edges. Perhaps, his brother had spoiled you too much. "I always find it amusing that you think you have a choice in–" you were busy watching the stars because you could not bear to look at him when he behaved like this. But then he abruptly changed the topic and you didn't care to express concern by glancing at the screen, "I thought you said you excused your ladies, little one" he did not appreciate being lied to; something he shared with his identical brother.  

"I did, Your Excellency" when he sighed in disapproval, you had to avert your eyes from the sky to look down at him on the screen with an air of annoyance about you. "I really–" 

"Then who is that behind you?" Nick had also been busy reading away on a tablet as he traveled somewhere -probably back to the Palace- in a vehicle but now he narrowed in on his screen. 

Your eyebrows remained flat and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. "Ha ha, Your Highness, very funny" he had a thing for making silly jokes when he was in an agreeable mood, or at least moving towards one. 

"Y/n, I am serious" there was an urgency in his voice as he leaned closer to get a better look. "Turn around right now and tell me who is–" 

"You even wear his color now, huh rosey?" Your body took a good few moments to register the voice behind you and you nearly failed to recognize it at first. Though when your brain finally managed to make the association, your heart dropped into your stomach and your blood ran ice cold. 

You spun around on your heels so hard they ached, coming face to face with James Barnes; the original Crown Prince and your real fiance. The man who had chosen you over your sister; giving preference to you for once, the brave warrior who had surrendered his body to his country; so they could make the best protector possible out of him, the honorable fool who only wanted to do good; a hero too noble for this wretched world.

Your phone that now blared with Nick's alarmed yells slipped through your numbing fingers but James caught it before it could break against the ground. "What the hell are you doing here?" You harshly whispered as if in a defensive autopilot, overwhelmed by how he had grown three times his size. Your eyes unintentionally traveled to where his arm had gotten mutilated on an expedition and you found a metal one glinting up at you in its stead. Maybe your reaction could be considered foolish in hindsight, but the knowledge that you were utterly at this unstable man's mercy and had nothing to defend yourself with against his monstrous stature terrified you. That in turn caused you to act in the only way you thought was appropriate as you desperately hoped for your facade to affect him in a helpful way. 

"Did all those years mean nothing to you, rosey?" His face was covered in stubble and his dark hair was long as it obscured most of his features, deep voice animalistic as his black leather clad form seemed to expand and contract with each heavy breath. Your throat tightened in on itself and your breath hitched. What the hell had they really done to him? 

"You shouldn't be here, James" you looked around for your guards– anyone but found the area to be eerily silent. How had you not noticed this ominous shift in your environment before? "That is against the rules as you're endangering the future Queen and many other people" he was all about rules and that was what you had disliked most about him. "Go back" your heart was on the verge of exploding but you pushed on with as much a semblance of composed firmness as you could muster. 

Nick's threats and curses melted into the background as James coldly snorted before snatching you by your hair, fingers snaking through a tangle of the strands, the action causing you to wince. It was only when you tried to fight him back and the bustle caused the two of you to inch closer to the lighting of your chambers did his face really come into your view. Your eyes widened in horror as your hand went to clamp over the hold he had on you defensively.

His pale face was covered in blood splatters and his glossy teal eyes seemed to shake, their blown pupils crazed. 

"So it was always about the crown then, huh, rosey?" You would never have expected him to sound as hurt and betrayed in this maddened state as he did.

"You know it was" you lied through your teeth to try and get his stance to falter like it always did when you counterattacked to his affectionate advances with hostility; the only thing you had known all your life. "Nothing matters more than the crown" the world functioned on power. So you had always used and abused that you had over him; over his heart. 

"I see" except, it didn't seem to budge him much today. Your eyes desperately scanned your dark surroundings again, this time for a weapon albeit still in vain. "In that case, you should be with me, then" your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you whimpered at how his fingers tightened around your neck. 

"James!" And then you were getting dragged back into your chambers. 

Once he had approached your bed, he placed your phone on the bedside table so a fuming Nick could clearly see whatever was about to unfold. 

Your flailing form was yanked back in frame and then held tightly in place by the clasping of his metal hand over the deep neckline of your nightgown. "Because I am all fixed up," your eyes turned to look at him in horror as he chuckled dryly, "and back to take all that's mine" you screamed and hot tears finally rushed down your flushed cheeks when your compressed breasts sprang free in the air upon his tearing a thick valley between the front piece of your gown. James only snickered into the camera while his brother screamed at him to not dare damage what was his amongst other profanities. 

But wasn't James simply repossessing what had always belonged to him in the first place? 

He had finally corrected himself in the way the world deserved. 

Now he would only live for himself like everyone else was. 

He was done getting played for a fool by all. 

"Please!" Your words fell on deaf ears as the man proceeded to further rip his brother's color off your body furiously until nothing remained in his hold except for your nudity, strong jaw nearly ticking broken due to how it was clenched as he did so. 

"Tell me, dear, did you also let him have you?" You were nearly petrified at this point both by shame and fear as he manhandled you onto the bed before crawling over you like a predator and trapping your limbs under his. "And if you dare lie to me then so God help me" his metal hand roughly fondled your breasts as his other hand tightly restrained your limp yet determined wrists above your head. 

"S- Stop!" Your back arched and you turned your face away in disgust when he started sniffing you all over like a hungry hound. 

"Hm, what about this little pussy of mine down here" a chill ran down your spine at how the crevices of his metal hand felt against your nether lips when he stroked them. "Has she forgotten her Daddy, hm?" He was the stark opposite of the man you had been engaged to and that in addition to how you had last seen him slashing at the lab assistants while speaking a language you did not understand as well as how semi-liquid crimson particles covered his face caused for a wave of pure terror to rush over you. But it was nothing compared to the chilling fact that his body heat and touch -regardless of its fashion- had awakened that one familiar feeling only he could evoke in you.

Nick went silent at James' words and you felt blood rush to your tear stained cheeks. 

Contrary to popular belief, you were not the chaste future Queen saving herself for her wedding night and King like the royal protocol demanded. 

But in your defense, the then future King, James, himself was the one who had defiled you because you were already his. And you had let him for you could act all high and mighty as you desired in front of him as well as others due to how comfortably open he had always been about his feelings for you hence presenting a very vulnerable perhaps even a subservient part of himself to you on a silver platter, but also because the man knew how to fuck.

You were addicted to how he felt against you and though you had never brought your suspicion to your lips, you had wondered for the entirety of the time your betrothal had changed to Nick whether the younger twin would ever be able to come even close to his brother. 

"Would you look at that?" His coo sounded out of place and ominous due to how the pretend softness stood out from the menace of his tone. "It doesn't seem like she has," your fingers instinctively clawed the air to try and take a hold of his hand to deal with the feeling of his bionic digits invading their way between your petals. "She still weeps and blinks up dumbly at me like a stupid slut all the same" horror filled you as you became hyper aware of Nick's eyes on you, and yet your skin began to buzz at the filthy words that still scratched you in that one way regardless of everything. "Rosey…?" It was chilling how he playfully raised an eyebrow like he wasn't covered in blood and flesh of the people that he had torn apart on his way to you, instead giving you a lazy grin as he spread your privates apart with the back of his hand. "Be honest for once and say, you didn't let him touch you, did you?" Your loins sparked to life when the tip of his finger ghosted over your entrance. "I mean, I know how demanding a whore you really are, common ways can't satisfy you and you don't waste your time on lost causes" James bent down to inch his grin closer to peer down at you and you had to turn your eyes away with a clasping shut of your lids. You had been caught. "The crown matters more than anything, huh?" Your eyes further clenched at his taunt and a shiver reverberated through you when his hot tongue darted out to swipe across the tear stains on your cheeks. 

He had promised you during your courting period that he would never allow a single tear to fall from your eyes. It seemed so that even in this state, he was determined to keep it. This way or that.

"I- I belong to someone else now." Having always been treated inferior to your sister, you refused to let go of your only chance at power. So jutting your chin out determinedly you refused to look at him and falter in your stead, for you knew it would make you cave as his face was still that of your protector and pursuer.

Because even if a woman had not the slightest preference for her admirer, the mere knowledge that she was fancied earned him a place in her heart still. 

"No, you don't" his words were stern and determined. "You were mine and you are mine" his lips trailed their way down to your neck to mark you his while one of his metal fingers penetrated your intimate band of muscles, causing you to bite back a moan as your pussy clenched defensively; hence intensifying the pleasure. "It's not your fault, really. Your little girl brain is too small to remember the difference between me and him for too long since we are identical, huh baby?" You hated how your traitorous hips betrayed you and began to move in sync with his finger. "But you don't have to worry your pretty little head about that, my sweet rosey…" His lips ghosted over your ear, hot breath fanning your alarmed skin. "I'll just claim you again to remind you" his teeth were sharp and unforgiving against your skin that had faded out the marks of his passion. "And I'll put my heir into that little womb of yours so whenever your tiny mind tries to get too silly again, my child will remind you who you belong to" he refused to acknowledge your protests at that and plopped his fingers out of you just long enough to undo his pants. "Besides," his hard cock easily found its way to your entrance, as always, "isn't procreation one of the duties of the King and the Queen?" 

It was then you realized that his transformation had been physical in every sense. 

Your eyes widened as your body jolted upwards in shock, lazed out hips now sparking up to life to almost try and get away from the cruel impaler that threatened to intrude it in a manner so devastating that the band feared a ripping of the lining. 

James snorted when your pussy refused to accept him and clenched in on itself defensively to shut him out, your petals nearly trembling in fear. "Aw, baby. How cute, you did stay faithful to me after all, huh" shaking his head when you only sobbed in response, he grunted as his huge shoulders moved to attempt an invasion yet again only to be denied. "Tsk, tsk, never learns her lesson, does she?" 

"Plea–" your words were cut off by a harsh smack resounding against your pussy lips and you jerked up and into his chest. 

"Bad pussy" he seemed to be immersed in a world of his own amusement and lust, ears deaf to your pleas while his dark eyes drank up every last drop you had to offer. "Always playing around with her Daddy" the force of his metal hand was cruel against your tender flesh when three short paced slaps came down on it in quick succession. "Thinking she has a choice, tsk" the next hit was hard and heavy. "It seems she needs to be reminded who calls the shots around here" two concluding slaps later, you were being braced for his cock again and surprisingly enough, your tense little pussy was much more compliant with receiving him this time. 

That, and the embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through your petals as a product of the brief disciplining session. 

"You feel that, baby?" His eyes finally looked up into yours as he aligned himself along your entrance. "She's all fixed up for her Daddy now" and then he pushed in. 

"Oh!" Your back arched before you could respond since he bottomed out rudely at once, biting down on a sensitive patch of your neck the same time as when he intruded your insides. 

The thing was, it wasn't that James wasn't an experimental lover, no. The two of you had done things that you felt mortified to even think about for too long. But it had always been with proper care and vigilance because the then crown prince was very soft on you as he referred to you as his heart. So you treated him like a pet dog and trampled all over his feelings and the liberty you had found in his treatment of you; something you had never been allowed before. You were used to pulling at his strings like a puppeteer.

But now, the way he pulled and twisted you in whatever fashion that he desired… 

You never expected the rush of hot need that waved its way over you and the thick arousal that gushed out of your womb to slick his cock to be the result of his manhandling you like you were no more than a doll for him to play with. 

And then his touch that you had been deprived of for months was further blocking your intellectual faculties amongst other things. 

James' eyes fluttered close as his metal hand reached for your throat to squeeze out the remnants of your refusals. A grunt left him as he let himself reminisce as well as get overwhelmed by the velvet texture of your splotched walls. He brought his face closer to yours and groaned before pressing it into one of your cheeks to press hard, sloppy kisses all over it as his hips moved but only to press harder up your womb. 

It was James' custom invented way of getting you completely stretched out for his cock. 

… That had grown thrice its size because of his serum procedures. 

And the man had already been way bigger than the average. 

"J- Jame-s!" You gasped out, struggling to breathe. His stiff tip felt like it was beginning to penetrate something else. "P- Plea-se!"

"What do you want, huh baby?" Your features scrunched together in discomfort as you flexed your fingers again. They needed to be freed so they could hold onto something to cope with the overwhelming penetration.  

"Move…" A smirk pulled his lips apart and he opened his dark teal eyes to peer down at you, silently grunting as he pushed deeper at that. "P- Pl-ease–" your tears were starting to become hot and you could feel your nerves bulging against your forehead from the lack of oxygen. 

"Will you behave if I do?" Your toes curled as you hissed, the knee that you wanted to bring up as a way to deal with the pain trapped under his heavy thigh.

You timidly nodded because there was not much else left for you to do. It hurt, and you wanted him to move to ease the pain almost as much as you needed him to fuck you. 

James clicked his tongue in disapproval and bit down on one of your nipples in a punishing manner, making you jolt upwards in pain. "Use your words, honey." A surge of pure pleasure overwhelmed you and you moaned loudly with satisfied nods, letting him know that you were in the process of complying. 

Like you always did when he was buried balls deep in your cunt.

"So you were fucking him when he was courting you, weren't you?!" Nick was furious on the other line, feeling like a lied to fool as you had denied it when he had asked you about it. "I fucking knew it you stupid slut!" The words caused you to clench harder around James' girth as you bit your bottom lip. "I am–" he went to cut the call but a gun entered the frame to press into his temple as his car seemed to come to a halt. You heard a faint 'watch' being told to your fiance.

But for some twisted reason, the way in which Nick's livid eyes now watched you with a quiet rage caused the desire in your hips to only bubble hotter. He didn't have a choice for once and you could go against him all you pleased "I w- will behave… p-lease!" Your eyes had stuck on your fiance so James patted your cheek to redirect your attention to him. 

"Eyes on me" the demand was followed by his letting go of your wrists to snake his arms under your waist to hoist you up and in a more convenient position for his cock. You moaned as your fingers found his long hair to hold on to. 

"Y- Yes… sir" his leather jacket was coated in blood and human and you did not want yours to add to the mix. So you raked your mind and you raked it hard. "T- Thank you, sir" you rather prided yourself on your opportunistic wit. 

James chuckled darkly as he began to reel his hips back, your cavern making a loud decompression sound as a result. You found yourself sighing in relief when his hard skin unglued from yours because for a second it had begun to feel like he was stuck in your channel.

"So fucking clever even with that little brain, aren't we, baby?" Of course you could never truly fool him regardless of how good you were. 

"BUCKY! OH!" A vile whine loudly left you when he kissed your chin only to sink down his teeth into it next as his hips snapped against yours to fuck you upwards. He didn't halt this time and pulled out again to back thrust in, his movements slow but visibly desperate to speed up. "FUCK!" 

"Ah, there is that girl I raised on this cock and its milk" your chin stung when he finally let go to close his mouth on one of your cheeks now, causing you to shiver from how overwhelmed you felt by the pain in your face and the pleasure that bloomed in your pussy that was inching closer and closer to a proper pounding as result. 

"Please fuck your child in me!" It had been far too long. "Please! I need it so bad! Please fuck me full of your children so I can always remember who I belong to!" You liked how Nick watched– had to watch. It almost felt like revenge; a slap you had wanted to hit him stupid with for the longest time for making you feel so low when his brother, who was twice the man he could ever hope to be and your real suitor, never had. James' cock felt just right as he fucked you so good that you began to see neon stars. You didn't care anymore. Or at least, not in the moment. It felt as though your life depended on this release. 

Perhaps… it did.

Besides, the silence in your surroundings and gun next to Nick meant James had it covered in some way. Not that it was much of a surprise. His Kingdom had the greatest army to date and those soldiers were loyal and compliant only to him. 

"You know what's the best part about this, rosey?" Your mouth was agape as you panted and moaned through it alike, tugging at his silky strands as his ballsack clapped against the beginning of your ass before sliding into your cunt each time, the primal smell of slick, sweat and sex floating in the air around you.

"What is it, my King?" You were shameless with it, as you had always been. "Please tell me" the fake way in which you unclasped your fingers from his hair to scratch one of his cheeks with your nails made him clench his jaw as he squeezed one of your tits, pistoning his cock in and out of you even faster. 

"I know you don't mean any of this" you froze momentarily and his crooked smirk morphed into a grin. "But you will before the year's end" you went to speak but his metal hand found your clit just in time and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, nails digging into the stubble of his cheek. "I know you will" him promising you that you'd return his feelings one day wasn't anything new. He had always told you that. However, normally your response would be a roll of your eyes or simply a change of topic. But today, something dangerously final lingered in them and you had no clue why but you found yourself answering; 

"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! I will, sir!" One of his thick nerves twitched against a particularly sensitive spot in your walls the same time his tip found your special bundle of nerves and brutally collided into them, tearing out incoherent screams from deep within you. "Oh- I am– I am–"

"Don't cum" his hand disappeared from your clit and your eyes that you had subconsciously closed flung open as you begrudgingly tugged at his hair with a needy whine. "You don't deserve it" your body violently jiggled up and down in his arms as you vehemently shook your head. 

"NO! PLEASE!" If there was one thing he didn't appreciate, it was you raising your voice at him. But you couldn't help it, your build up was nearing its edge and the fear that it would topple over all wrong after such a long time scared you. Because once an orgasm was ruined, there was no coming back from it. James had taught you that one night after a ball when you had danced with someone a little too frankly. 

"No?" He was panting himself as he hugged your waist closer to his, the feeling of his cock's imprint pressing against both of your stomachs only making him slam you down harder and harder. "So you deserve it?" 

You quickly shook your head as your boobs flew about, pussy trying to close on itself out of sensitivity when his metal fist closed around your throat again. "N- No! No! I don't, sir!" Your voice altered in a humiliating manner when he squeezed and your dry throat pressed in on itself, making you cough. 

"That's right" his hand parted from your neck long enough to slap you. "Think you can just say your pathetic little pretty please and I'll forgive you for forgetting my existence the moment I wasn't good enough for you?" You sobbed out of frustration, willing your hips into squeezing themselves closer together so you could hold on from falling over. 

"No!" He slapped you again, the force causing your head to turn sideways this time around. "No, sir!" Desperately reaching for the artificial hand you pressed humiliating kisses all over it. "But it's been so long! Please, my King!" Your back arched from the strength it was taking you to keep yourself from cumming. "I need you so bad! I need it so bad!" In your confusion and oversensitivity you dropped your head against his, your knees trembling. "Only you can make me cum! I tried for months! So many times in so many different ways!" The tears of embarrassment were hotter than those of need that you had been weeping all this time. His movements faltered a little at your confession. "But nothing worked! Only you do! So please! Please let me cum! I don't know what I will do if you don't! Please let me cum and give me your babies!" 

"Only I work, huh?" His voice was eerily quiet, a new kind of dark exploding in the air about him. You vigorously nodded, genuine for once in your life. 

James' chuckle was the only thing your hazy mind registered before you were moved, twisted, turned and bent faster than you could keep up with. 

The next time your consciousness caught up with the present you were facing your phone, on your knees like an animal as your build up slowly subsided. Though your vacant pussy was plunged full soon after, your legs getting pulled apart before being hoisted up in the air by James' hand, your elbows the sole support of the upper half of your body now. 

"Tell him how badly you want to be stuffed full of my children and I'll let you have it" blood rushed to your face to bubble under the skin when your eyes locked with those of the stoic male at the same time but before you could hesitate, James cock began to move inside you although torturously slow. "You might want to hurry up, rosey. I don't have all night" the spank that his words accompanied sparked you into motion like someone pressed a button on you. 

"Please, Nick!" The thrusts sped up and your claws dug into the mattress. "I want James' children so bad!" There wasn't much emotion on the male you faced but the bright red of his ears and neck even in the dim lighting of the car indicated that he was both furious and humiliated. Perhaps even more so than you. "Please! Please ask him to stuff me full of his babies!" The more slaps rained down on your ass as your pussy expanded to welcome James balls deep inside you with each brutal thrust, the more your mouth ran on the most vile autopilot. "All I want in my life is to be fucked swollen and heavy with his children with my body wrapped up in his color while I nurse the other ones!" James cursed before his hand reached for your front to dip between your legs and you moaned before your arms gave out and you fell face first. 

"You heard her, now tell him that" as your cheek rubbed against the mattress everytime you were pounded into it, you heard a man speak to Nick. The Prince tried to protest but something– probably the gun pressing against his head caused him to stop before he gritted out a few seconds after; 

"... Fuck your children into her and wrap her swollen body in your colour, James" the man reminded him that it was King James, for whatever reason and Nick sighed before correcting himself. "Please, King James" you couldn't help the whimper that forced itself out of you at his menacing tone.

Your back arched when the frantic circular motions of his fingers became too much for your cunt to handle and you clenched around his girth again, shuddering as you prepared yourself to get in trouble for the orgasm you were about to have. 

But then your dependable luck did its thing. "Cum," the vibration of the spank buzzed through your whole body, "cum for me" as your tense muscles relaxed and you closed your eyes to let go, you felt James' hot seed explode within you, the force of his thrusts causing the cum to go flying all about. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and the only two things you registered for the next few minutes were shaking profusely while limb paralyzing pleasure exploded through you and the rapid rubbing of your cheek against the soft bed covers which was result of the brutal pounding you were receiving from behind.

When he was done with you, he slowly untucked himself from you and left you trembling on the mattress while he fixed himself up. "Natasha!" Your ears perked up at the name of his second in command and you trembled at his volume. The heavy doors to your chambers opened and closed after the woman in question. 

The red head clicked her tongue as she approached the bed, the heels of her boots faintly clicking against the floor as she walked. "Could've done better…" You jumped from how close she sounded when she spoke. "Because she's still awake" the hair on the top of your head was fisted into his metal arm to pull you up and you had to hurriedly scramble to cover your blushing jizz covered ass. 

"For what's going to happen next" you whimpered at his words as you were moved onto your trembling knees by the humiliating hold that the man had on your hair and your whole body shook under the stern woman's scrutinizing glare. Peeking up at the red head through your lashes, you went to cover yourself up but James' scold for you to stay put had you planting your wrists in your lap within the next second. "Hands down" you hurriedly lowered your head too to avoid further increasing his ire. 

Some shuffling sounded from above you before James approached you again. "Arms up, baby" the endearment must mean that you would be spared… right? You quickly complied with the utmost obedience and James placed a comfortable black gown on you before stepping back to reach for something else. 

You almost gasped when you recognized the brilliant glimmer from your peripheral vision.

His mother, The Queen's, crown.

"There you go" you felt him place it on your head and your heart dropped. "Everything you always wanted placed on that silly little airhead of yours, baby" an embarrassing gasp escaped you when he suddenly pulled you closer by your throat. "Are you happy now, my sweet rose?" Your eyes welled up with confusion and how he suddenly slapped you before pressing his lips against yours roughly. 

"He asked you a question, brat" you jumped at how Natasha spoke up suddenly, clearly fed up with you blinking up at him dumbly. 

"That's no way to speak your Queen, Nat" your heart warmed up at how he clicked his tongue at the woman disapprovingly. "Tsk." 

"Y- Yes. Yes" you nodded, still in a daze of post-orgasm sensitivity and general puzzlement at the absurd turn of events from an already shocking situation. "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." 

He was smiling now. "Good girl" before he pecked your lips and held his hand back for Natasha to hand him something else. "You can rule all of them" your face burnt when your mind registered the accessory that he wrapped around your throat next. A collar and a leash embedded with sparkling diamonds. "I just want to rule you" his metal hand rotated in the air as he wrapped the leash around his bionic digits. "Let's go" you nearly fell on your face as you were pulled off the bed before being marched straight to the heavy doors. 

Natasha opened them to reveal your entire family and staff standing mortified outside on weapon point of James' army. You whimpered and lowered your head in embarrassment until your chin touched the area between your collar bones, fingers tightening around your gown as you suddenly became hyper aware of the faint dig of the edges of the collar against your pampered skin. 

"The King has called the alliance off" Steve, your owner's right hand, announced in his firm and curt voice. "The only reason why he has spared you, I must add just this once, is because you are related to the Queen. Any efforts of contact from here on out will lead to unsavory consequences akin to those his own family has met" a chill raised in your spine as your blood dropped in temperature. Holy fucking shit. They really had made a beast out of this once too noble to be true man. "Lastly, not that any of you really care but if the Queen ever wishes to visit, she will be allowed to do so after she has provided His Highness with an heir, accompanied by some of the best that the army can provide." 

The walk out to the numerous sleek black SUVs felt like one of shame despite you wearing the crown you had always fantasized about.

And perhaps that's exactly what it was.

A balancing of the scale.

For betraying the one who loved you so dearly that even in his mindless state, he had known not to hurt you.

At least, not in a way that hadn't made your silly little pussy weep for more. 

.

Tag(s) <3: @identity2212 @tilltheendofthelinepal13 @cjand10 @ihavetwoholesforareason @myfavbuckyfics

[buckets-and-trees]

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts

Fandom: MCU Collection: Cedar Trees Characters/Pairings: King!Steve x Queen!Reader Word Count: 1.3k Summary: After a week of festivities celebrating the high winter holidays, you are traveling with your husband to the summer palace to retreat for a week just the two of you, to spend the Yule Week together.

Content Warnings: royal AU, some modest agoraphilia, vaginal fingering, cum eating, fluff because these two are over the moon for each other

Logistical Notes: This is the reveal for the other kink I teased in this ask @stargazingfangirl18... EVERYONE IGNORE THAT IT'S ONLY STILL NEW YEAR'S EVE IN LIKE HAWAII AT THIS POINT, OKAY? It still counts.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

You smile as Steve’s knees gently jostle against yours which are covered in your skirts and a warm blanket. The royal carriage was not quite built for his long legs, at least not like this. It wasn’t any problem when you sat together on the same side, but he’d insisted on sitting across from you. You had teased him that he would fall asleep on your journey, and he had maintained that he would not, but that sitting with his back to the front of the carriage would ensure that he wouldn’t fall asleep.

And yet he sat across from you, slightly slumped over, legs relaxed, very much sleeping.

It’s why you’d snuck a book inside your fur muff and only snuck it out when he’d finally succumbed to his exhaustion.

And so you were more than happy to see him resting. It’s mid-morning on New Year’s Eve, and you could hardly believe you were here. When he came to you a few weeks before with his proposed plan, you were a little surprised but incredibly pleased when he told you he wanted to retreat with you to the summer palace for a week for the new year. He worked sunup to sundown, tirelessly fulfilling his duties as the devoted king to his people that he was. They loved him for it, and so did you.

Although the royal carriage was well built and very sturdy, it was still a testament to how tired he was that he could sleep as it rolled along over the roads in the countryside, but ultimately a particularly rough patch of road jostles you both, and he jerks awake.

“Good morning again, my sleepy king.”

He frowns, but there’s only warmth in his blue eyes. “How long did you let me sleep when I did not wish to, my queen?”

You glance at your book and shrug a shoulder at him. “You know I do not mind; you deserve your rest.”

He takes a look at his pocket watch and complains, “An hour robbed of your company.”

You laugh, reach across for his hand, and tug on his arm to pull him over to sit next to you. “We get to have each other for an entire week,” you say, your easy smile splitting into an eager grin.

“And I look forward to every minute.” He presses his forehead against yours as he settles in next to you.

“You’re cold, my lord,” you fuss, and quickly lift the wool blanket to cover his lap as well.

He chuckles as you shift a little and place your fur muff between the two of you, grab his hands, and stuff them inside with yours. “I’m not that cold.”

You tsk at him, “There’s no need for you to be cold at all.”

“I suppose you are right,” he concedes. He leans in again and captures your lips in a kiss. “Not when I have you,” he murmurs against your lips. You melt into him, your lips part, and he teases his tongue inside.

You become lost in his kiss until he starts shifting, and his hand moves under the blanket, and you gasp he rucks up your skirt and petticoats until he can move his hand beneath the swaths of fabric to brush up your thigh and right to your center.

“Steve!” you protest in a dazed but shocked whisper. You press your thighs together. “We can’t!”

You can’t help but think of the coachman and the footman riding on the front of the carriage, and the six guards riding along behind.

“Oh, I believe you’ll find we can do all manner of things in here, my love,” he insists. With his hand still between your clenched thighs, he reclaims your lips and squeezes the tender flesh of your leg, easing you open again as he kisses you with such fervent passion you can’t help but surrender to him.

You whimper as his fingers slid along your folds, and you know he finds you’re growing wet for him already.

His other hand comes up to cup your cheek. “Keep your pretty sounds soft, my love, only for me.”

“Steve,” you whine.

He noses along your neck, but you know exactly the wicked grin he must have across his face.

“An hour of wasted time, neglecting my queen, I must make it up to you.”

You bite your lip when he inserts the first finger into your warm hole, and you clutch his arm – not wanting him to stop now but because you need to hold onto him. He pushes it slowly in and out of you a few times before adding a second finger. You cant your hips forward to give him a better angle. Steve keeps the slow pace, working up your wetness on his fingers.

“I want you dripping for me,” he whispers in your ear.

“Oh, God,” the soft plea tumbles out, and you drop your head back.

Steve presses hot kisses to your neck, but only briefly as it’s too much pleasure for you to keep quiet, and he chuckles as he quickly angles your head back to him with his free hand so he can smother your moans with his mouth. He curls his fingers up to find the spot you both love for him to stroke on the front of your walls, and he knows exactly when he’s found it as your body arches for him. He rubs there insistently, expertly, and your body starts to tighten the strings pulling toward your climax.

He doesn’t rush it, pushing you until you’re mewling into his mouth between demanding, hungry kisses. Then he presses his thumb to your pulsing clit, giving it ample pressure, circling, until the pleasure driving at the dual points knocks you over the edge into bliss, and you convulse against him, breaking away from his kiss so you can breathe.

Steve takes the pressure off your clit, but slowly keeps stroking your cunt as it clenches around his fingers, bringing you gently down through your climax.

“So beautiful, my love,” he speaks softly against your temple, pressing a kiss there.

You laugh softly, feeling the giddiness and satisfaction of the act the two of you just engaged in whilst traveling through the forest in your carriage. You know Steve was mindful of keeping what you were doing quiet enough to stay private, but the thought that you might have been overheard had been its own forbidden thrill.

You turn your body more toward him. “Steve, that was…” you let the words linger, and smile up at him.

“It was,” he says. He brings his fingers up to his lips and licks them thoroughly clean. You can only watch him, concentrating on taking deep, steady breaths.

You begin to reach for his waistline, but he grabs your hands in both of his. “Oh, no. I’m not confident we can keep any sounds I would make to a discreet level for anything you might have in mind.”

You laugh and feel your neck and cheeks heat in a mixture of desire and shock and a touch of flustering.

“Here,” he says, angling his body more toward you, then scoops up both your legs in the heap of skirt and petticoats, and pulls them over his lap. You help him by scooting closer, and he drapes one arm around your back. “Let me kiss my lovely wife a bit more, and we can talk a while before we get to the palace.”

“Sounds perfect, husband.”

He presses a tender kiss to your lips now, and you place a hand on his chest over his heart, looking forward to the week ahead, only the two of you, no engagements or responsibilities, only time together, and you could not be more happy and content.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[reallyromealone]

Ganon omegaverse 3

Fandom: the legend of zelda

Warnings: omegaverse, male reader, Zelda isn't good in this

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

(name) wasn't sure what to do, with these new freedoms he previously lacked back at Hyrule Castle, Ganon letting him wander around the palace AND THE CITY! With guards of course but still! He wasn't allowed to leave the grounds back home... Well he supposed this would be his home now.

That was something to get used to, things he was noticing back with his sister that left a sour taste in his mouth...

Why did she do what she did?

Why did she lock him away the way she did?

(Name) didn't know if he would get the answers he wanted to know or at least honest ones...

"Over the years we have expanded the town, it's not as big as Hyrule Castle town but it is impressive on its own" a guard explained as she showed him around the merchants row, before the palace entrance that surprised (name) at how accessible it was "unlike Hyrule Castle, we firmly believe the people should not be barred from visiting the palace-- of course there's times where it's not possible such at night but closing the palace from its people seems unreasonable to us"

"We believe in transparency to the people, of course they can't go anywhere they want in the palace but they are welcome to visit the throne room or see the public areas with the understanding of respect"

(Name) was fascinated by this information, the palace he knew was very closed off and from what he knew, very different from the rest of the kingdom in terms of wealth, the valley was much more forgiving and attentive to their people.

Zelda was a good queen, he knew this but he also knew she often focused on her own adventures and left the responsibilities to her second in command.

"There's so much I must learn..."

"And you will in time, you will have the rest of your life to learn" (name) nodded as he was slowly brought to the private dining area, unlike back home it wasn't stiff and cold, regal still but it felt....warm.

There was a low table with many bowls and plates with delicious looking foods as Ganon waited for his fiance to join him "how was your day, my star?" Ganon had grown to call (name) pet names, my beloved, my star... Many sweet words that made (name) flustered, his body warm with each sweet word.

"We went throughout the city today, one of the vendor ladies gave me this! I tried to pay her but she refused, she said "a gift to our future queen" the piece in question was one the made Ganon nearly blush, it was a fertility amulet.

"It looks very lovely on you" Ganon said as he led the Omega to sit in his lap, the Hylian dwarfing in comparison as they began eating, (name) finding he quite enjoyed spicy foods that the desert offered "try this!" Ganon already knew what all the foods presented tasted like but gave into his mates whims, eating the food presenting "very good, my love" his words rumbled through (name)s body, Ganon liked having his omega perched in his lap, so small and cute...

Ganon liked having (name) accompanying him during his royal business, include him on things and let him know how things worked And have an intimate knowledge in Ganons life.

"Our trade routes should alternate to this come winter months" Uberosa pointed to the map, an alternative map to get to the Bazaar "the merchants coming from the east have been notified through notices at inns and ranches" she explained as (name) looked curiously at the large map "This will also be the route we take for the wedding, I assume?" The concept of the wedding was both nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time, to think they should have been married for much longe...

Ganon gently pumped out pharamones as to calm the Omega, knowing he was nervous about his sister but Ganon knew she wouldn't try anything as to not disrupt the peace.

Going to war with the Guredo was a death wish after all.

"The wedding will be held at the temple of time now that it's been restored" Uberosa pointed to the map and (name) seemed excited, having never gotten to see it repaired.

Ganon worried (name) would grow bored when Ganon had to leave him, but the Alpha was pleasantly surprised to see (name) helping the teachers with the pups, the little girls wanting (name) to play with them the second they saw him as he was the only Voe outside of Ganon himself who they were allowed to look at, omegas were always deemed safe to the Guredo people.

"He will make a fine dam, brother" Uberosa said as Ganon gazed from a window, a soft look on his face "he will raise wonderful children if they get his attitude... God help if they turn out like you" the elder teased as Ganon huffed with false annoyance "he will be wonderful"

"Any word from the princess?"

"She's been quiet, she made many people upset with her actions and is most definitely doing damage control" he said methodically and Uberosa laughed slightly "she could have started a war, thankfully her brother is less selfish"

"His priority is always those around him, like a true Omega"

"You better spoil him to make sure he cares for himself"

"I already have things on the way"

Ganons clothes were going missing, mainly his shirts, thankfully he had an abundance due to needing to change from the heat.

Something Ganon took notice of was that (name) hadn't started nesting while here, weeks passing and the Omega seemed nervous when offered nesting materials "I-im allowed...?"

"Why wouldn't you be allowed, little one?" Uberosa asked the other who bit his lip, Ganon having a bad taste in his mouth as (name)s words confirmed his suspicions "w-wouldnt it be an inconvenience? I'm a royal Omega, it's unsightly for us to nest, no?"

"(Name), nesting is a basic instinct for all omegas, it doesn't matter what status you are, not nesting can affect your physical and mental wellness" Uberosa knelt down to the sitting Omega who seemed uncomfortable "I... I just don't want to inconvenience you all with my Omegan problems..."

"You have never and will never be a problem to us" Ganon was serious as he was half ready to start war over this but knew better, soon (name) will never have to deal with that again, he would be free to do as he pleased.

It took another week for (name) to try and make a nest, shy and nervous about it though happy Ganon gave him a spare room connecting to the bedroom "such a beautiful nest my Star" Ganon comforted (name) who looked at him for approval, his mood something new to Ganon compared to the others he was used to "we will get you even more nesting materials if you desire" he would have the finest materials sourced for his mate, anything for him.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Deleted and Replaced Scenes: Updated List (14 Feb 2024)

Because we have new information and because I am quite literally gonna go insane if we don't get anything new soon, here's a list of scenes that we need to demand from Prime

Also, I recently realized that while a lot of deleted scenes are straight-up cut which are for the most part the ones we often mention, there are also scenes that are technically deleted, but replaced in reshoots, so I'm adding those to the list too

Unreleased Deleted Scenes:

Amy and Alex after Cakegate (from Aneesh in podcast)

Alex with his parents and Zahra (from Taylor during Glaad screening)

Extended Polo Match (from speech montage + from Bea's credits + from Matthew in podcast)

Paris Extended Cafe (from Matthew's bts photos on Instagram)

Paris Extended Love Making (from earlier screening audience)

Paris morning scene (from bloopers)

Alex checking Henry after Lake Scene (from earlier screening audience)

Kensington Breakfast (from trailer + BTS photos from the cast)

Thanksgiving (BTS photos from cast + from early screening audience)

Miscellaneous Video calls (Mentioned in Taylor's "What's up hrh prince dickhead" post)

Scenes replaced in reshoots:

DNC meet-up (Nick's wearing a wig)

Alex watching his speech and Zahra contacting Shaan (In the BTS photo Matthew posted of that scene Taylor is wearing a coat over his costume, shooting was in summer, reshoots were in winter)

Piano Scene (Nick's wearing a wig)

Alex and Henry greeting supporters at Buckingham Palace (Nick's wearing a wig)

Election Victory Speech (Nick's wearing a wig + photos were repurposed into Alex's intro + Alex's Instagram account)

Questions/Not Confirmed/Where did you come from:

Scene from Zahra Credits: Is that from the Claremont-Diaz Family scene that Taylor mentioned?

Scene from Pez's Credits: Is that from Kensington Breakfast?

Scene from Philip's Credit: Is that from Kensington Breakfast?

Scene with Philip that Thomas posted: Is that from Kensington Breakfast?

Forest Kiss from Speech Montage: Is there a longer version? Was it a scene on it's own?

Texas Holiday Montage: Was there more?

When I say I need these scenes and answers to these questions, I mean I need them like I need air 😭😭😭😭😭😭 PRIME WHAT THE FUCK

And again these are just the ones that we know of or kind of know of! We didn't know about the "Amy and Alex after cakegate" scene and "Taylor's first scene with Uma" until these two weeks and it's been six months since the movie released! God know how many scenes we're still completely unaware of????

*desperately sobbing and clawing at Prime

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg <3

Through The Years

Jotun!King!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Æsir!Queen!Reader

Summary: This story takes you and Loki on a journey through the twins life. From their first steps all the way to their first time falling in love.

Warnings for this Chapter: fluff, tiny bit angst, babies!

Word Count: 2,1k

a/n: I know, I know, it took me a long time to finally post it... I hope y'all can forgive me. 🙈 Anyways, here it is! Enjoy! 🧡

This sequel is based on @eleniblue 's ideas. 😊

Divider by the lovely @fictive-sl0th

Tags: @muddyorbsblr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @chennqingg @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @theaudacitytowrite @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @eleniblue @vanilla-daydreaming @loz-3 @valencia-rou @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @fictive-sl0th @bunny24sstuff @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovingchoices14 @linaax @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @glitchquake @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @gruftiela @lulubelle814 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @chantsdemarins @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @aagn360 @lokiforever @anukulee @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @km-ffluv @jaidenhawke @vbecker10 (Continuing in the comments)

❄️Chapter Two ❄️

Ice Flower AU Masterlist ❄ Loki Masterlist ❄ Masterlist

Chapter One - First Steps

"Over a year old, really?" You nodded with a smile, bouncing Áki gently on your arm. "Mhm. They are growing very fast." "My my..." The sweet and kind older lady said, shaking her head. "Time flies by." "Indeed."

Once in a while you would visit the city; go to the market place - mostly when there was a market, and talked to several citizens - bonding with your people. After all, you were their queen - and even though Loki did most of the royal duties, you wanted to do at least that. It became a tradition. Whenever you made your trips and talked to the Jotuns, you went alone. No guards. No Loki. Just you. You wanted them to see you as their queen, sure, but also as a normal woman, who is interested in their lives and wellbeing. Your husband didn't quite like it at first. Well, not the idea itself, rather that you were going alone - but you insisted. This time, though, you didn't go alone. You took Áki with you, while Váli was with his father. Both twins would've been a bit too much to take care of alone in the city with dozens of people. Especially now; given the fact that they were a few months over a year old now and therefore very quirky. Winter was luckily over and spring had just begun - so it wasn't that cold when you went to on your traditional trip.

"Can they walk already?" The female Jotun asked, looking adoringly at the baby boy in your arms, who enjoyed the sun on his face and played happily with the wooden warrior figure his father had gifted him. "Áki is on the verge of starting to walk. I think it won't take him very long anymore to get the nick of it. And Váli… He has just learned how to pull himself up on his feet, so... He needs a bit more time - which is totally fine." The woman smiled, causing you to smile as well. "My son took his time as well, but now he grew into a strong, healthy man. I do hope the princes are growing up strong and healthy, too. Thank you for your visit, your majesty." She curtsied, "I hope so, too. Thank you - and you are welcome." and gave you a last, sweet smile, before she redirected her attention back to her ice flowers.

After that conversation, you decided to call it a day, given the fact that you were quite tired and your son as well. "Let's head back home, Áki, shall we? Home to your brother and father?" The little boy smiled, ruby eyes shining. "Dada, Vava!" You giggled, pressing a kiss against his cerulean, chubby cheek and said your goodbyes to several Jotun's before you made your way back to the palace.

You spend the rest of the day alone with the twins, after you've been told that the king was indisposed, because of a stupid incident with one of the merchants, which supplied the kingdom.

After the night had swallowed Jotunheim and the princes were deep and fast asleep, you changed into your nightgown and read the book you found in the library yesterday; waiting for your husband to return. As it got very late and he still wasn't back, you decided to go to his study; looking after him. And that's what you did. Tip-toeing down the dimly lit hallways of the palace, until you reached the big, familiar door. You lifted your hand to knock; getting a quite annoyed and grumpy 'Yes?!' in return. Gently, you opened the door and peeked inside, finding Loki sitting at his desk, hunched over the table; one big hand rubbing his temple. He was stressed. You could tell that already. The fire in the fireplace crackled and creating a warm and cosy atmosphere.

"What is it now?! I-" Loki interrupted his harsh sentence as soon as his tired eyes landed on you. "Darling!" The rudeness in his voice was immediately gone. "Oh, what a sight for sore eyes!" You smiled, happy that you were able to make him smile. "Hello, my love," you said, rounding the desk to greet him. As soon as you were in reach, Loki stretched out his hands and pulled you immediately in his lap; sitting you down on his thick, strong thighs. You shrieked up in surprise, but giggled when he buried his face in the crook of your neck, literally inhaling your scent and holding you close. "I missed you, my flower... This day has been way too long..." "I missed you, too..." You ran your hand through his raven locks, causing him to relax even further into your body. "When is the king returning to his chambers, to join his wife in their marital bed?" A big sigh left Loki's lips. "Unfortunately, not yet. I have to finish this." You almost started to pout. "Can't this wait until tomorrow?" You felt him shaking his head. "I'm afraid not, my darling. I'm sorry." Now you were the one who sighed and just cuddled closer. You and Loki spent the next few minutes like that. Tangled up with each other, enjoying the other's closeness.

"Áki almost took his first step today." Your husband lifted his head, looking at you smiling and with a twinkle in his beautiful red eyes. Proudness. "Really?" "Mhm... Back in the city. When he was about to set one foot in front of the other, though, he lost the balance and fell on his bum." A sweet chuckle slipped past the Jotun's lips. "He's going to learn it in no time, I'm sure of it."

And Loki was proven right... Only two days later, the little prince took his first steps.

You, Loki and the twins were out for a little walk outside the palace; catching up on some precious family time and enjoying the first strong rays of the spring sun. No duties, no advisors, no guards - just the four of you.

Váli sat upon his father's shoulders, visibly delighted at the sight he had now; his eyes having so much to look at suddenly. Áki was in your arms, being very restless. He always wanted to be let down and move forward himself without your help. It was difficult at first, but you let him try and try and try, of course, always supporting him. On the third try, the little boy made it then. Holding on to both of your hands for dear life, he took his first three steps. "Yay!" You squealed excitedly. "Loki, look!" Your husband was walking quite a bit ahead with Váli, but turned at your words. A light-hearted, proud laugh rumbled through his chest and he smiled from ear to ear. "I told you, my love! I told you!" "You did!" You giggled, carefully helping Áki along. "You're doing so great, sweetheart. Mama's so proud of you - and Dada, too." At the sixth step, he cautiously let go of your hands, wanting to walk alone. You let him, of course. Loki came closer and squatted down, reaching out one hand. The other kept his other son safe and steady on his broad shoulders. Váli had his small hands buried inside his father's luscious curls. "Are you coming to daddy, little man?" And he did. Walking on very wobbly legs and almost falling two times, Áki reached the safety of his father's hand and arm after three small steps. Loki smiled broadly, scooped the small boy up in his free arm and peppered the soft cerulean skin of his face with kisses, causing Áki to squeal and giggle. You just smiled; loving to see Loki being a dad. He was perfect. Made to be a father - and a king.

About two weeks later decided Váli to take his first steps as well. You had put both boys down for the night; got yourself ready for the royal banquet and just wanted to check in on them a last time, before the caregiver was going to take over. To your sheer shock, you found Váli not inside his crib, but outside. A short wave of anxiety rocked your body; already afraid something happened to him, while climbing out of his bed. But then your brain caught up with the situation; eyes landing on the slightly damaged crib. Váli must've slipped through the gap in the wooden frame... You immediately made a mental note to get this fixed.

Shaking your head, you approached the little prince. "Sweetie, what are you doing, huh?" You spoke in a hushed voice, not to wake Áki. The little boy turned around to face you with a big smile on his lips. "Mamama!" He was standing on wobbly feet, holding on to his bed tightly. But when he saw you approaching, he suddenly let go, swaying dangerously for a moment (You were already on the verge of jumping forward to catch him and prevent him from crashing against the crib.) - and then he started to walk towards you, putting one foot in front of the other. You froze in motion; looking with awe at the toddler. Walking... He was walking! An audible gasp left your lips. "By the norns... Honey, you are walking!" You exclaimed excitedly - but as quiet as possible, catching Váli. "I'm so proud of you!" You kissed his chubby cheek - when you heard a knock on the chamber's door. Must be the caregiver, you thought and stood up, carrying the boy with you to the door. It was, indeed the caregiver. "Good evening, your majesty." She curtsied, softly smiling. "Good evening, Alruna. Before you look after the twins... Would you please fetch my husband? Tell him it's urgent and that he has to come to our chambers right away." You didn't want Loki to miss this. You know how sad he'd be, if he missed his son's first - well, now second steps. "As you wish, my queen."

Alruna was quick to leave; making her way towards the grand hall of the throne room. The doors were open; a few guests for the festives had already arrived. The caregiver's eyes searched the small crowd, looking for the king. As soon as her eyes landed upon Loki, she approached him. "My king." A curtsy. "Apologies for the disturbance but the queen sent me to fetch you. I shall tell you that it's urgent. She wishes you to come to your majesties chambers right away." Loki's ruby eyes widened at her words. Fear started to flood his veins, heart hammering against his chest. What if something was wrong with her or his sons? He gave the caregiver a nod. "Tell her I'll be with her right away." "Yes, my king." With another curtsy, Alruna vanished again; returning to her king's and queen's chamber.

Loki turned to face the few guests, which had already arrived. "I beg your pardon, gentlemen. My wife seems to be in need of me. I'll be right back." He excused himself and walked with fast, hasty steps towards your shared quarters. The anxiety was still present. Without knocking he stormed inside. "Love, I came as quick as possible! What is the m-" The king's words died down as his eyes witnessed what was going on. You were in the middle of the spacious living room, squatted down near the fireplace with a big smile on your face. Váli was highly focused, as he made a few wobbly steps forwards. But when he noticed his father - Y/E/C eyes looked up to meet his and the little boy lost his concentration and balance; resulting in him crashing to the hard floor. He landed rather ungently on his bum - thick tears starting to fall immediately.

Loki was the first to react. Eyes widening, he immediately picked his crying son up, holding him against his chest. "Hush, my little love, everything is alright." You were back on your feet as well; a concerned look on your face as you stepped over and placed a hand on Váli's back. "He's not hurt, is he?" Your husband shook his head, pressing a kiss on the boy's head and rocking him gently. "I don't think so. It was just the shock, I'd say." "Seems so." A silent minute passed, before Loki spoke up again; audible joy in his words. "Was that the reason why you called for me? To show me his first steps?" You nodded; expression shifting into a smile. "Yes, sorry. I have the feeling I worried you. I just didn't want you to miss this." The king smiled. "Why thank you. I'm happy that I was able to witness such a big milestone in our son's life." Then he directed his attention to the child in his arms, who had calmed down again and was now clinging to his father's chest; cuddling close. "Daddy's so proud of you, my little prince."

[viviennevermillion]

we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

note: loosely based on the vibes of the song for the first time by the script. starts with an argument. reader and leona both are pretty harsh here but they'll get there eventually. ♡ this took me two days and idk what possessed me but I really like how this fic turned out and I appreciate comments or asks about it. ♡

contains: leona kingscholar x gn!reader, relationship development, angst to fluff, fighting and making up, bonding experiences

word count: 7.6k words

warnings: argument, leona's crippling depression, some hurtful things have been said

dark content creators & consumers do not interact

It was the middle of the winter holidays and Night Raven College was probably as quiet as it could be. You had left behind the festivities of late December and for now you decided to take some time to focus on yourself and rest up before school would resume in about a week. On a particularly cold Friday evening you had made yourself some pasta for dinner and laid down in bed after putting away the dishes. The night sky was clearer tonight than it had been for a while and your room was lit up only by the stars and the dim light of the magical ignis fatuus lamp on your nightstand. You took out your phone and checked the messages your friends had left you; keeping you updated on the presents they had received and the activities they engaged in during their well-deserved vacation. 

You didn’t know if it was just a whim or the fact that you may or may not have missed a certain someone…but you eventually decided to reach out to Leona to check up on him. You remembered how annoyed he had sounded when you saw him leave for his homeland through the dark mirror. It was no secret that the second prince of Sunset Savannah was anything but keen on going back to the palace over the winter holidays. His abrasive behavior was quite off-putting sometimes and you had to admit it made you hesitate sometimes to reach out to him even though you wanted to. You were long past the point of considering Leona your friend. His perspective on the matter, however? A mystery to you. 

It could just be that you were a nuisance to him. That he didn’t necessarily dislike you but rather had you minding your own business instead. Or maybe that was just the way he was. You found him hard to read sometimes; never knowing whether a question would get you a snarky comment or a calm and serious answer. Leona was more than capable of both. Still, especially after his overblot and having seen a glimpse of how he was feeling inside, you had decided to push your pride away for a while and put some effort into being his friend; even if he had a tendency to push everyone away. You presumed it was because at least, if he pushed people away, he was the one who’d have the last word. He could retain the reputation of someone who simply didn’t care, rather than risking to be seen as someone who just wasn’t wanted. You didn’t know how much Leona was aware of the extent of his feelings that he divulged while in an overblotted state. It was probably best if he remained largely unaware. 

Still, you decided to shoot him a quick “Hey, how are you doing?” over your messaging service. Leona didn’t seem very busy at the moment, as his answer came not soon after. “Oi, herbivore, what do you want?”, he texted back. 

“Just wanted to know how you’re enjoying your winter holidays so far. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Thought I’d text you so close to the new year to check how you’re doing. You didn’t seem too pleased to go back to the palace after all”, you replied. Leona shifted his position on his bed, staring at the words on his phone for a while. His expression darkened a little. The fuck did it matter to you how he was doing? 

It wasn’t particularly well, that was for sure, but you didn’t have to know that. However, Leona didn’t really feel like talking at all. Contrary to how easily he could try to sleep away his problems for a while when he was at Night Raven College, they seemed to always catch up to him when he was back home. He hadn’t slept in 48 hours; not since the annoying political gathering Farena had dragged him to on Wednesday. His days consisted of laying in bed and trying to avoid his brother’s nagging and Cheka’s attempts at playing games with him as best as he could; trying to get some sleep but consistently failing to. He let out a bitter laugh, wondering what Ruggie would think if he saw him like this. The hyena beastman had tried multiple times to get him out of bed after Leona had slept for more than 10 hours and failed miserably. And now Leona couldn’t even take a nap for a couple of hours. 

“Yeah, it sucks, dunno if that’s the answer you expected”, Leona typed and ran a hand through his dark hair, slumping back into the pillow and holding the phone above his face, “there’s nothin’ to do here except fancy crap and arguing with my brother, the beloved king. Only good thing is my personal chefs; their food is fantastic as usual.” Leona held his head in pain, the headache from the sleep deprivation getting to him more and more. He turned the brightness of the phone down and reached for another painkiller on the nightstand, downing the medication with a glass of water. 

You had no idea of the beastman’s predicament; comfortably resting under the covers of your own bed. “Let me guess, you’re eating nothing but meat again?”, you chuckled and clicked on ‘send’. 

“Heh. The chef told me I need to eat more greens. I told ‘em I’d rather starve than touch some leaves and eat like a herbivore.”

You rolled your eyes. He always had such an attitude. The poor chefs were probably just doing their best to keep their prince healthy. “Classic Leona”, you replied with a chuckle, “do you plan on handing your essays in after the holidays this time? We don’t want you to repeat another year.” You remembered how Ruggie had teased him that if he didn’t pass his finals again, they’d be in the same class from next year on. Leona furrowed his brows and rolled his eyes. As if he didn’t have other things to worry about than schoolwork at the moment. What idiot even came up with the idea of giving students homework over the holidays?

“You sound like Farena”, you got your next answer, “‘You need to pass this class’, ‘You need to get better grades’, ‘What are the citizens gonna say if Prince Leona can’t even graduate from school?’ Gimme a break. Ugh. Can’t a guy take a vacation? I don’t wanna worry about stupid essays now.”

You sighed. “You’ve pretty much taken a vacation since the school year began…you’re hardly attending classes because you’re always nappin’ somewhere in the greenhouse”, you turned on the light of your room, knowing this conversation was likely not taking a pleasant turn anytime soon, “I’m sorry I remind you of your brother. But I’m not saying this to pester you. If I didn’t give a shit about you, I’d have long since ignored you.” It was true. You hardly would have bothered with him if he hadn’t grown on you overtime. And if it weren’t for the feelings you secretly harbored for him; getting stronger with every passing day. Most people would have probably advised you against falling for Leona. But it was not like that was something you could control. Sometimes you felt like it wasn’t a good idea at all to keep trying to stick around when he wasn’t willing to let you in. But there were moments where Leona was one of the most pleasant people to be around; regardless of how much your classmates would have raised their eyebrows at you for admitting that. He was calm, honest and all the shallow things people around you were obsessing over, Leona was hardly interested in. His demeanor was refreshing sometimes and his jokes were funny. But on other occasions he just had to be so difficult. The worst part was that you knew he could do better. But on most days he wasn’t even willing to try.

Meanwhile Leona wondered what your reason was for reaching out to him if you were just going to lecture him anyway like everyone else did. Why didn’t you just let him mind his business and leave him alone? It wasn’t that Leona was annoyed with your presence. He too felt quite comfortable around you most of the time. But you had the same criticisms for him as everyone else did. And even though he knew deep down you were right; he just kept standing in his own way. It was frustrating sometimes, but he hardly had the energy to do the 180° turn others expected from him. He felt inadequate. Especially for you. What was he expecting from you anyway? That you’d love him and choose him over everyone else you knew? All the people who were responsible and had their lives figured out? So for the sake of his pride he did the one thing he knew best how to do: Keep pushing you away. 

“Fineee, I’ll turn in my essay. I’ll go to class. I’ll even go find some herbivore friends just to humor ya”, he shut you down and it was evident from his phrasing that he was hardly serious, “now shut up and let me go back to sleep for a bit, eh?” He ignored the twinge of guilt in his heart for being so rude to you; who had been nothing but kind to him since the year started. What did he care for anyway? He felt like his emotions were getting the better of him; all the frustration and anger and hopelessness of the past few days creeping into his mind like a shadow that was taking hold of him. He reached for the lamp on the nightstand; knowing full-well he probably wouldn’t be able to take the nap he told you he’d take under these conditions; knocking the glass of water to the floor in the process. “Ah shit”, he groaned, sinking back into the bedsheets. He supposed he could clean that up tomorrow. Or get one of the staff members to do it for him. He just hoped Farena wouldn’t lecture him about it. That’s how far you’ve come, huh? Don’t even have the energy to pick some glass shards up. Pathetic. 

He tried to push down that voice inside him as best as he could, putting his phone aside and burying his face in his pillow to muffle the quiet sobs that he couldn’t stop from escaping him. Though he doubted anyone would hear them anyway. There was another small gathering in the garden below his window and he could hear the upbeat music and some of the chatter from the guests. At least his attendance wasn’t required for today’s event. Leona hated crying. He hated how vulnerable and weak it made him feel. He’d much rather lie to himself and convince himself that he really didn’t give a damn and just enjoyed being lazy and provoking the people around him. In those moments, somewhere deep inside his heart, Leona wished for someone to be there for him. But it wasn’t like anyone out there cared; they were busy with their small garden party to honor his homeland’s coexistence with nature. And you? You had reached out to him and asked him how he was and Leona just couldn’t have given you a normal answer. Instead, he just pushed you away to guarantee that you’d probably stop caring about him too. Your newest message confirmed his suspicions, reading: “Fine. Whatever.”

You were tired of the constant back and forth. You had reached out to him with good intentions and care and this was what you got in return. Maybe it truly was time to leave Leona Kingscholar behind for good and make sure you wouldn’t have to deal with interactions like these on a peaceful night. This was exactly why you had hesitated to text him anything. But instead of taking his nap, Leona replied back. You had the feeling he wouldn’t do that if he had no interest in talking to you whatsoever.

“You really gotta learn to lighten up a little. Not everything’s all serious, ya know? Sometimes a nap is just a nap”, he tried to de-escalate the anger he caused with his previous messages; attempting to play it off as just his usual demeanor and nothing personal. What he didn’t get at the moment was how much that played down your own feelings and words. 

You rolled your eyes, debating whether you should just log off and leave him to his own thoughts. Maybe that was for the better. You sighed. “You didn’t have to start it with ‘shut up’”, you answered, just hoping anything you said wouldn’t make things even worse. 

Leona had gotten up from the bed and sat down near the window, gazing out onto the garden; wishing anyone at that gathering would actually care about his thoughts regarding the development of his homeland. The cheerful laugh he could hear from Farena and his guests filled him with a sense of anger so strong that it hurt nobody but himself. He felt stressed; just wanted to finally go to sleep and actually manage to drift off into the land of dreams. But life seemed to have other plans for him. He had gotten himself into a fight with you, one of the only people who seemed to genuinely care about his feelings; the royal court was just proceeding with their schedule as if he was nothing but a ghost sometimes lingering at them and he knew he had to do the damn essays if he wanted to pass this time. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I should’ve said something more polite like ‘I’m trying to get some shut-eye here, would you kindly shut up so I can rest peacefully?’ or perhaps ‘Excuse me but I have some slumber to catch up on, would you please cease talking so I can focus on that?’ Better?”, Leona snapped, his expression darkening.

His rude behavior and disrespectful reaction to you just trying to be nice to him frustrated you. So much so, that you waved the idea of being polite and holding back your thoughts about the matter a friendly goodbye. If it’s a fight he wanted, he can have one, you thought with a bitter mood. So you replied something you knew you probably should not have said.

“And this is why people don’t put you first.”

Your words stung. You hit him right where it hurt and both of you knew that. The crying that had stopped, resumed again as tears ran down Leona’s cheeks. He knew he got himself into this mess but admitting that seemed like the hardest thing for him right now. Not with how angry you had made him over the past 30 minutes.

“Because I’m sarcastic? Wow. Really settin’ the bar high there. Not everyone needs to be a happy-go-lucky sunshine boy, ya know?”, Leona replied with a spiteful feeling in his chest, “maybe I just express myself differently. What do you care ‘bout it?”

Okay, we’re really doing this, are we? You took a deep breath and shook your head. 

“The problem is that you’re rude as fuck and then you’re complaining about only ever being the second choice. Yeah, sure, it sucks for you that you can’t be king or win the Magift tournament against Malleus; I get that; but everything else is your own doing”, you reached a point where you weren’t holding back your thoughts anymore, “you’re literally not even letting people be nice to you. That’s like, the bare minimum. I’ve been trying to be your friend for the whole school year and sometimes you’re really pleasant to be around but other times you’re just taking your bad moods out on people who care about you and I’m tired of it. I tried. I really did. But you push everyone away and then you go sulk in your bed about how no one understands you.”

“I don’t need you to care about me”, a lie and a pretty damn pathetic one; Leona knew that. But he was in the wrong headspace at the wrong time and on top of everything else, he was panicking because he felt like you were close to abandoning him. And this time it would be his own fault. 

“Goodbye Leona. See you in school, I guess.”

Leona frantically started typing again; not feeling like he’d be able to tolerate the silence. To just be left alone with his thoughts again. To have lost you.

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there. I’ll be the best prince ever. Good, hardworking, loyal, reliable…then everyone will love me, huh?”, he let out a bitter laugh, clutching the pillow he was holding, “is that what you wanted?”

His response was as sarcastic as ever but he was in luck that you were not one to just let him put words into your mouth. 

“No”, you texted back, having calmed down a little and gotten yourself a tea, “I just want you to at least be respectful towards the people who care about you and not lash out at us like this. That’s literally all I ask for. Ruggie and I stuck around even through your stupid overblot and all your depressive episodes where you locked yourself in your room and slept for 14 hours as if that’s gonna solve anything.”

Under normal circumstances, Leona would have been a lot more careful with his words. He was hardly one to even remotely talk about his feelings; always keeping them to himself to make sure no one had anything they could use against him. But the sleep-deprivation, emotional distress and headache put him in a state of mind where he was a lot more honest and open than he intended to be.

“Oh? It must be a real burden on you that I’m not just one of those happy, energetic herbivores, huh? If I was nice and polite; if I just did what I was told, everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?”, he could hardly even still see the screen as his vision got too blurry, “then you wouldn’t have to be burdened with being nice to someone like me….someone who can’t even smile genuinely. Someone like me should just disappear, right?”

As soon as he sent that, he wanted to take it back. This was too much. More than he ever wanted to let you know. He had given you a glimpse into his heart and he was certain that this had been a grave mistake. And simultaneously it made you realize what was really going on here.

Oh god, he’s not doing well at all…shit. You realized Leona hadn’t reacted this way towards you because he hated your presence or saw you as an annoyance…this was his own self-doubt talking and he obviously was not okay right now. You saw that now. 

“Leona…that’s not what I’m saying at all…did something happen at the palace? You’re a bit of an asshole sometimes, but it’s usually never this bad…you okay?”, you messaged him and Leona let out a bitter laugh. Even through all this…even after how rude he had been to you and how hard he had tried to push you away, your first response to his accidental self-deprecating talk in the heat of the moment was to worry about him. You deserve better…, he thought.

“Listen, I don’t expect you to smile or be happy all the time or do what you’re told”, you continued, “and I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I understand and I respect your feelings. You don’t have to be all smiles and super friendly to everyone or fulfill anyone’s expectations. Just don’t let your anger and frustrations out on your friends. Hell, i don’t know, rant to us about how much life sucks or whatever; maybe we’ll end up with a bitter joke about it or something….anything’s better than this.”

He had to admit that…did sound more pleasant. You weren’t done yet.

“I’ll be there even if you’re not feeling well. Even if that lasts weeks or months at a time. But if you don’t give me the basic respect and kindness a friend deserves, then I’m out”, you added, “and I’d never want you to disappear, Leona. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

Leona remained silent for a moment. Minutes passed by and you were wondering whether he’d even reply at all. It had started to rain outside and for whatever reason the thunder seemed to calm you down. You put your phone aside and tried to distract yourself by reading a book you grabbed from the school library. After a while, you heard the notification sound of your phone again. You checked the display to see a new message from Leona.

“...heh. You really got me down to a t, didn’t ya?”, it read, “Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to. I’m just tired. Tired of all the things I have to do, tired of always being second pick, tired of being angry. I guess I took it out on you and that was wrong. I apologize for my rudeness.”

You knew it took a lot for Leona to ever apologize for anything. He had decided to swallow his pride for the sake of fixing the mess he made. You were exhausted from the fight and this was the first time you had heard him apologize to you for being rude. It had never been this bad before; but Leona could be quite dismissive on a regular basis. You had more to say but it was probably best for you to indulge him for now and let him rest and calm down. 

“Thank you. Wanna talk about what happened?”, you asked.

Leona hesitated for a moment. He remembered the gathering two days ago. Farena had pressured him into attending; saying the whole royal family was expected to be there. So Leona had begrudgingly put on the tight, fancy clothing and sat at the dinner table with dozens of politicians and investors. He heard them talk to his older brother and the queen about the current status quo in Sunset Savannah; even acknowledging Cheka as the heir to the throne. But Leona? Leona was meant to sit there for the whole evening and look pretty. Farena shot him a glare when he attempted to take out his phone to distract himself; as it was not proper etiquette for a prince. 

Leona couldn’t remember anyone but his own family members having attempted to talk to him that night. No one had cared about his opinions or the fact that he was even there. For all the talk about how crucial it was that the whole royal family attended, Leona sure felt like an extra at the event. There were many investors who were advocating for a better infrastructure and to develop more parts of the country aside from the capital; making use of its natural resources to achieve a bigger state of welfare. Leona had many thoughts on the matter. He had visions and ideas on how to make them happen. He did care. But it didn’t matter what the loathed second prince said about any of this. Farena would probably scold him for trying to butt into the official state affairs. Not that it mattered whether he said anything or not. His brother’s opinions and his own differed greatly; that much he knew. He’d never listen to any ideas Leona brought to the table. He had tried often enough.

So all Leona did was sit there and listen. Not saying a word; just holding his tongue when he had so many thoughts wanting to be said. He listened to everyone else; let everything happen whether he agreed with their decisions or not. Eventually he just blended the voices out, concentrating solely on trying to keep his act together when his facade was threatening to crack because it occurred to him just how much he didn’t matter. Cheka had tried to climb onto his uncle’s lap and show him a bracelet he crafted, expecting a response from Leona. He knew he had to react somehow. He couldn’t just ignore when someone was talking to him; especially not with so many people right next to him. But he feared, were he to say something now, his voice would crack and he’d break.

So he took all his strength to keep it together, gently placed Cheka on the ground again and walked over to his brother, excusing himself and saying he was feeling sick. Not a lie technically.

Leona took a deep breath before replying to you.

“No, I’d rather not. That’s…my own personal life, y’know?”, he answered, “I’ll stop being such an angry prick towards you and Ruggie all the time. I guess I needed that wake-up call, harsh as it was. At least I know you’re not one to lie to my face, heh. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to try to catch up on some shut-eye. I’ll talk to you later.”

You leaned back with a slight smile on your face. That was a lot more genuine than what you were used to from Leona. Maybe it was just your imagination, but you were beginning to feel like, bizarre as it was, today had brought you closer to one another. That Leona had reached a new level of trust towards you he didn’t have before.

“Heh…see, that’s much better than ‘shut up and let me take a nap’”, you replied with a relieved smile, “get some rest, Leona. Hope you’ll feel better afterwards. ❤️”

“Did you just send me a heart emoji?”

“That was an accident. Go to sleep. :)”

Leona realized he had a smile on his face. He chuckled, burying his had in his hands. You were really getting to him, huh? You had said a couple of things that really stung and yet somehow at the end of the day he treasured you enough to smile at a sign of affection from you. I better make sure to treat ‘em properly from now on, he mused and smirked, laying down on his bed again. He wondered if you actually had feelings for him or something of the sort. Somehow with the thought of you on his mind, he fell asleep easily, relieved you were able to sort things out. And he was already looking forward to talking to you again… 

You didn’t hear from Leona again for at least half a day. You were already suspecting that the sleepy lion may not have gotten any sleep at all lately, so you were glad he was resting. What you didn’t expect was for Leona to call you when he woke up. He’s calling? That’s a new one.

“Mornin’ Herbivore”, his voice was raspy and was cracking slightly. He sounded a little bit like he had cried but you didn’t dare to comment on it. “It’s 3pm. Sleep well?”, you chuckled and had a smile on your face again. “Hmm, I’ve had better nights but yeah”, he responded, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair, “sorry again about last night. I had a bit of a moment there…I’ll do better. If you forgive me that is. But only if you wanna. I was kind of an ass.” Leona turned on the camera of his phone and so did you. He gave you a triumphant grin when he saw how your reaction to seeing his face was just smiling instantly. 

You sighed. “It’s fine. You’re lucky I like you. You’re an acquired taste.”

Leona chuckled. “I’m glad my terrible sleep schedule and awful personality can be considered an acquired taste in this day and age”, he winked at you. You let out a laugh. You looked at Leona’s calm expression; the way his hair looked messy and his ears twitched a little. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and you thought he looked absolutely ethereal. You had to admit you missed him.

“Okay, you made me laugh, I give you that”, you chuckled and grinned at him, “feeling better?”

“A bit”, Leona answered, “Thank ya for being so patient with me. You’re a real one. I guess I’m just used to people not sticking around long enough to deal with my bullshit…..it feels weird….having someone care.” Something had definitely changed inside Leona. He was still weirdly genuine about his feelings. Maybe he was also still very exhausted. 

“Well, you’re in luck. I’m really stubborn and I always want to have the last word. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Even if you hiss at me like a feral housecat”, you teased him. “Heh”, he laughed and you could see his ears move along with the rising and falling of his chest, “fine, I won’t try to get rid of ya then. Still gonna be a bit of a prick tho. Maybe I will start hissing at people. Make a reputation for myself. The hissing prince of Sunset Savannah.” 

The two of you laughed and Leona ran a hand through his hair, trying to adjust it somehow. “You know what? You just gave me my first real laugh of this week”, he gave you a genuine smile and you could tell he was feeling better, “normally I don’t hang around herbivores that much. But I like ya. Thanks for stickin’ with me.”

You gave him a kind smile. “See? You’re pretty fun when you’re not being an asshole. And I assure you, you already have a reputation. Not a particularly good one, but it’s certainly….something.” 

Leona chuckled and excused himself for a moment to open the blinds on his window. He put his phone aside and all you heard from him was a sharp hiss of pain and him cursing under his breath. “The fuck happened?”, you looked at him with concern once he was back. “Stepped in glass shards”, he mumbled as if that explained anything. “Why the hell are there glass shards on your floor?” “Ancient royal trial that every member of the royal family has to go through at some point in their lives”, he commented dryly and you were pretty sure he was making this up. 

“Anyway, you should probably get first aid for that”, you raised an eyebrow. “Alright”, Leona smirked, seeming as tough as ever, “don’t miss me too much.” He winked at you before ending the call. He’s certainly growing bold now, hmm? You laughed and went to make yourself some food, awaiting his return eagerly.

It took about 30 minutes for Leona to return and start making fun of you for worrying about him so much. “I’m not made of glass, y’know?”, he smirked, “I just step in it sometimes.” 

You sigh and put your friend on speaker, tending to your kitchen appliances once more. “Did you get first-aid for your injury?”, you asked, throwing some carrots, broccoli and zucchini into the mixer. “Yeah. Staff bandaged my foot and told me to be more careful. Got a whole lecture because they’re so considerate”, Leona rolled his eyes and then cringed at the sudden loud whirring, “fuck is that noise, herbivore?” “Oh…sorry”, you apologized and turned the mixer off, “I’m making a soup. Noticed I haven’t had lunch yet today.” 

“Ew with like, vegetables and shit?”, Leona shook his head in disappointment. You chuckled. “Yes, not everyone has the strength and insanity it takes to attempt to solely live off meat”, you teased. 

“Anyway, to get back to our conversation from before, it’s nice to know I have a reputation for something, heh. Even if it’s just that”, Leona chuckled, “I don’t get people sometimes. ‘Ugh, he’s so pretty! Too bad he’s a jerk!’ Why do people keep sayin’ that? Am I supposed to be flattered or pissed?”

You laughed. “Well, I think they’re having a crisis because they’re attracted to a guy whose personality is like a matryoshka doll where you’re kinda intimidated to take off another layer because you’re not sure if it’s gonna get better or worse.”

Leona snorted. “Okay, that was a fun analogy, I’m not even gonna be mad. I’ll remember that one”, he smirked, “so, given that you have first-hand experience now, do you have the feeling it’s getting better? Or worse?” So he’s acknowledging that he’s opening up to me more than he did before, you pondered and smiled, that’s good. “Better”, you admitted, “now I know I didn’t go that wrong with giving you a chance. Anyway, what do you do all day over there?”

“Oh, nothin’ much”, Leona shrugged, “sleeping…trying to sleep, avoiding my nephew, avoiding my brother, avoiding the chamberlains, playing chess against a computer…when I arrived I drove around a bit and stopped by Elephant Legacy to take a bath in the secluded hot springs only the royal family has access to. I guess that counts for doing somethin’”

“And you made fun of Idia for being a shut-in?”, you raised an eyebrow. “I also nap outside, that disqualifies me from being a shut-in”, Leona grinned, absentmindedly playing with an old yoyo he got from a market when he was 7, “but yeah it’s pretty boring. Night Raven College is a little more interesting.”

After a week of hardly doing anything, Leona had to admit he was growing quite bored of the winter holidays. You didn’t have many plans either, so that was how the two of you ended up playing online chess. “God, with that strategy or lack thereof you have, your king is gonna be down in less than five minutes”, Leona held his head in second-hand embarrassment and reached for a glass of water to take a sip. “Oh so you think you’re close to losing?”, you smirk and heard Leona choke on his water, coughing frantically. Did you really just call him your king?, he thought with a surprised expression, his ears laid back against his head.

“What’s the matter, Leona?”, you asked and he could hear your teasing tone through the speaker, “did I perhaps fluster you?” You were really playing with fire today, huh? Leona smirked. He didn’t admit it, but he did absolutely like that. “Why don’t ya focus on your shitty ass playstyle instead, you just lost the best piece you still had on the board”, he hissed back, his tail swishing back and forth. “I didn’t see your queen there”, you whined. “What do you mean, you didn’t see it there? It was literally right next to where you were standing-”, Leona shook his head and held it with his hand, “I don’t even know where to start with this one…”

As the day went on, you got Leona to play a couple of other online board games with you, mostly luck-based ones because you insisted you were “good at them”. He also agreed to teach you some chess strategies, arguing that even with knowing them you wouldn’t be able to beat him. He never let you win. Not once. 

He had to admit that your company brought him amusement and joy. That you distracted him from the problems he was worrying about. So he didn’t mind spending his days with you. He was looking forward to seeing you again at Night Raven College. 

“Leona, it’s your turn. Leona?”, you asked when he wasn’t responding. It was already evening and the sun had set. You could hear soft breathing and some light snores coming from the phone. You smiled and closed the game the two of you were playing. Something inside you didn’t have the heart to just hang up on him. So you put your phone aside and went to bed yourself, feeling somehow closer to Leona this way.

He woke up with surprise upon finding out you were still there. He wondered whether that was intentional or not. He quickly pushed away the idea of waking up beside you; of pulling you into his arms and falling back asleep in the comfort of the blankets and your warmth. Leona pouted when he noticed the smile on his face. Then, upon having another fantastic idea, his expression turned into a mischievous smirk as he made his way over to the wardrobe where he had hidden a plastic aerophone that he confiscated from Cheka after the latter had attempted to “play a song” for him and followed him through the entire palace. He sat down next to where his phone was laying on the bed and blew into the cheap instrument; causing it to emit sounds with a terribly loud volume. He stopped just in time to hear the angry “WHAT THE FUCK, LEONA????” from your side of the call. “Rise and shine, herbivore”, you could hear him snicker. “You’re such an asshole”, you muttered.

The days went by fast when you had each other’s company. Leona kept you updated on what was happening at the palace; the stuff that wasn’t confidential at least. This mostly happened in the form of him ranting about how much it annoyed him. He had ditched the Sunset Savannah New Year’s ceremony and spent it on the palace roof, turning his camera on and letting you see the fireworks of his homeland and how the city was lit up for the celebrations. “If you ever visit, I’ll show ya around”, he had promised you.

Your presence in his life made the holidays pass by fast. When Leona stepped through the dark mirror on his way back to the school, you were already waiting for him on the other side. Both of you felt a little awkward at first. Things had changed a lot between you since you had last seen each other, after all. Leona rolled his eyes at your attempts to make smalltalk, waiting for the rest of the students to exit the mirror chamber before he opened his arms. “Come on now, y/n, don’t be a stranger”, he sighed and you stepped into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him. You hoped he didn’t have a sliver of an idea how much you had wanted this over the past few days. What you didn’t know was that Leona felt exactly the same. He held the back of your head with his hand and let you bury your face in his shoulder. Leona had his tail wrapped around your waist and you got goosebumps where it touched your arm. A strand of his hair was tickling the skin of your face and you noticed how much you liked the smell of his cologne. 

The two of you walked back to the dorms together, Leona staying closer to you than usual. Much to your surprise, the lion beastman actually showed up to class on the first day. It was his most hated lesson, even. He sat down next to you. “Glad you showed up”, you said and reached for the cup standing next to you, “I got you a coffee.” Leona inspected the beverage with surprise, not expecting you to get him something to drink on the off-chance that he came to class. You raised your eyebrow at him when you saw him sniffing at the coffee. “If you’re gonna complain that you don’t like this kind, I’m never getting you anything ever again”, you threatened and Leona patted your head. “Don’t worry, herbivore”, he smirked and took a sip from the coffee as the lesson began.

Reunited at Night Raven College, Leona still enjoyed spending his time with you. He had invited you over to show you some more strategies in chess; as it was easier to teach you anything if you were there in person. You had eaten dinner together (a bunch of meat that Leona ordered from a take-out restaurant in the village on the isle) and decided to take a breath of fresh air on the roof of the Savanaclaw dorm. Leona looked at you as you gazed at the stars. 

“Do you think the sky is fake?”, Leona was caught off-guard by your question. “The hell?”, he raised an eyebrow and sat up. “Like, the ones over the dorms. What even are the dorms? Are they actual locations the mirrors just teleport us to? Are they weird pocket dimensions? Why do I never hear anyone talking about this?”, you asked. Leona chuckled. “Considering they’re never locked and we haven’t seen anyone try to rob us yet, I thought it was pretty obvious they’re not just standing around somewhere in the wild”, he shrugged, “but yeah, this isn’t the actual night sky. The constellations are super off.” “I see someone actually paid attention in astronomy class”, you commented. “Not really”, Leona replied, “in my homeland there’s the belief that the stars are the great kings of the past who are watching over you from above. Heard the story a million times. Learnt about the constellations as time went on. If you’re worried or in despair, you can ask them for guidance and supposedly they would answer you. Personally I think that’s a bunch of humbug.” 

Leona shrugged and you thought about his words, having learnt something new about his culture. “If you believed in it…what would you ask them?”, you wondered and looked into Leona’s emerald eyes. “That’s a little too personal, don’t ya think?”, Leona smirked but then conceded, “I suppose I’d ask them why I pulled such a dumb result in fate’s lottery, among other things.” “Idia called it ‘god’s rigged gacha machine’”, you chuckled. “That’s one way to put it”, Leona mused. “Then again, you never know what life’s gonna give you”, you tried to add a more positive point of view, “who knows maybe you’ll soon receive a great deal of luck or something. You never know.”

Leona let out a bitter laugh. “Then I suppose, I’ll have to thank the great kings of the past”, he crossed his arms, “anyway, it’s getting late. We should probably head inside again.” He got up and so did you, making your way towards Leona’s room again. 

You couldn’t even react fast enough when you stumbled on the roof and fell over, Leona catching you just in time and pulling you back into balance. You were leaned against his chest and Leona was holding onto you to keep you steady. “Geez, herbivore, first you’re all talk about stickin’ by me and being my friend and now I have to prevent you from breaking your bones every 5 minutes”, Leona sighed. You pouted. “Name ONE other time where you had to prevent me from breaking my bones”, you rolled your eyes.

You only noticed then how close the two of you were. Determined to tease him back, you spoke before you realized what it was you just said. “Are we about to kiss now?”

The smirk left your face when the realization hit you. Leona, on the other hand, was having the time of his life with this. He grinned at you and let out a laugh. “My, you’re getting bold now”, his ears twitched as he laughed, “I mean, go ahead if you wanna, I ain’t gonna stop ya.” He was challenging you, part of him thinking you weren’t going to do it anyway. 

His eyes widened and he was caught off guard when you took him up on the offer and he found himself with your lips on his instead. 

Leona closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, kissing you back softly. There was a sense of relief to his kiss; as if he had waited for this to happen for centuries. He wouldn’t ever have dreamt that you might feel the same for him as he did for you. Not with the behavior he had shown to you before. Not with the way he went about his days. And yet, you had given him a chance. The chance to prove to you that he was worth it. And he swore in that moment that he was going to make the most of that.

Leona sighed against your lips and cupped your cheek with his hand, deepening the kiss eagerly. He furrowed his brows and pulled you as close to him as possible. 

When your lips parted from each other, Leona still held you in a tight embrace, resting his head on top of yours. “So…”, you began, nuzzling his neck and relaxing into his embrace, “are we going to get on people’s nerves together from now on?” “You still have to ask that? Take a hint, herbivore”, he hissed and then chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

You remained like this for a while, just holding each other as Leona looked up to the night sky. “You’re more quiet than usual”, you said softly, “what’s going through your head, hmm?” Leona rolled his eyes. “Life clowned me with irony and now I gotta thank the great kings of the past for ‘a great deal of luck or something’”, he sighed and laughed. You pressed another soft kiss to his lips and held his face in your hand, looking into his eyes with a loving expression. 

“I love you…and at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy”, you confessed and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, “you’re my first choice, Leona. Always have been.” Leona hugged you tightly and squeezed you slightly, holding onto you like he feared you might disappear any second now. He buried his face in your neck. Your words had touched his heart and made him feel a sense of happiness and closure he was longing for for god knows how long. He kissed you once more, pouring all his pent-up attachment and care for you into the kiss as the stars gazed down on you.

[theostrophywife]

stars in your eyes.

masterlist (azriel x reader) author's note: more azriel fluff because you know I love to hurt myself. summary: you’re struggling to find the perfect birthday gift for your mate so you enlist the help of one illyrian general.

“This is quite honestly the worst idea you’ve ever had.” 

Your gaze travels down to the skimpy lingerie scattered across the shelves and back up at the hulking figure of the male standing before you. The sight of your friend standing in the middle of a lingerie store was definitely turning heads. Though to be fair, you were wholly to blame for dragging Cassian out for a day of shopping on the Rainbow. 

“Scratch that. Letting you talk me into coming here is the worst idea I’ve ever had.” 

Cassian gives you a nonchalant shrug, draping an arm over the mannequin positioned at the store’s front display. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

The other shoppers were actively avoiding looking in your direction, but you could still feel their curious glances either way. Somehow you doubted that Illyrian warriors and sirens were the usual crowd at this lingerie store. 

The pretty shopkeeper approaches you with a bright smile and nearly swoons in Cassian’s presence. “Did you two need any help?” 

You could’ve sworn that you caught a glimpse of Cassian flexing his biceps underneath his leathers as he points at the sheer underclothes hanging off the mannequin. “Yes, actually. Do you have this in cobalt blue?” He leans in conspiratorially and the female blushes. A shameless flirt, that one. “It’s a birthday present for my brother.” 

It’s your turn to flush as the shopkeeper smiles, taking in the silky negligee and its intricate lace pattern. The fabric wouldn’t even cover your pinky finger, much less your entire torso. 

“He’s joking,” you interject with mortified laughter. “But we appreciate the offer. You have a lovely store.” 

“Of course, my lady. Let me know if anything catches your eye.” 

Once she’s out of earshot, you swat Cassian over the head. 

“Ow!” He exclaims dramatically, narrowing his eyes at you with accusation as he rubs the back of his neck. “What was that for?” 

“For telling a random stranger that I plan on wearing a shoelace for Azriel’s birthday.” 

Your friend rolls his eyes. “Come on, Az will love it.” 

You groan. Your mate's birthday was only a few days away and you have yet to find a suitable present for him. Between buying decorations, ordering all of Azriel’s favorite dishes, and making sure everyone’s schedule matched up for the surprise party at the end of the week, shopping got pushed to the side. The problem with buying Azriel a present is that it needed to be perfect. You knew he’d appreciate any gift from you, but you wanted it to be heartfelt and personal. Your mate put so much thought and care into everything he did for you, it was the least you could do to return the favor. 

Perhaps you were putting way too much pressure on yourself, but this was Azriel. He deserved the best of the best. 

“Be serious, Cas. I only have a few days left to figure this out.” 

“I am being serious!” Cassian exclaims. “If Nes got this for me on my birthday, I’d be a very happy male.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

That earned the Illyrian general another thwack on the head. “Nudity is not the solution to everything.” 

“Speak for yourself. I’ve never met a problem that couldn’t be solved by getting naked.” 

“I knew I should’ve asked Rhys to come with me instead,” you mumble under your breath. 

“One, I’m highly offended. Two, Rhysand would have told you to buy Az something ridiculous like a palace or a pegasus.” 

Cassian had a point. The High Lord had a tendency to go overboard when it came to presents. Last Winter Solstice, Feyre had to talk him out of buying a boat for Nyx. What a toddler needed a boat for, you had no idea, but Rhys was convinced that his son absolutely needed one after a swim in the Sidra. 

“Do you think it’s too late to ask Helion for one of his?” You say half-jokingly. At this point, you weren’t above begging the High Lord of Day if it meant making your mate happy. 

“Helion’s more likely to invite both you and Azriel into his bed than give you one of his most prized possessions. Cauldron knows he’s been trying to get Az to agree to it for centuries.” 

You snort. “Can’t blame him. The High Lord has great taste.” 

“So do I,” Cassian declares with a huff. “Which is why I think you should buy this.” He waves a hand to the skimpy negligee again. “While you’re at it, throw in some handcuffs. You two may have everyone else fooled, but I know what you and Az get up to. It’s always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for.” 

You slapped his arm, nearly choking with laughter. If only he knew what Azriel was really like in bed. Everyone always said that Cassian and Nesta were the worst out of the mated couples, but you and your mate couldn’t keep your hands off of each other for nearly a full decade after accepting the bond and a handful of those encounters may or may not have involved whips, chains, and handcuffs. Sometimes all three. 

“You’re just mad that Azriel has the biggest wingspan.” 

After much contemplation, you, Feyre, and Nesta finally decided to put the argument to rest and measured each of your respective mates and the verdict was final. It was officially confirmed that Azriel did in fact have the biggest wingspan out of the three brothers. Rhys and Cas were in obvious denial, but the ironic part was that Feyre’s wings were the biggest of them all. 

“I haven’t heard any complaints this far, so I’d say I’m faring quite well.” 

“Focus, Cas.” You drag him out of the store and into the busy street. Shops flank you from both sides and while you bopped in and out of them, you found nothing of note. “Between planning the party and hiding the fact that I’m planning said party from Az, I’ve been a nervous wreck. Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret from him? He's literally the Spymaster. Not to mention, I don't even know if he’s going to like it. Oh gods, what if he hates it?”

“He’s going to love it.” Cassian remarks, striding along the Sidra. “And if he doesn’t, there’s always the threesome with Helion.” 

You groan in frustration, rubbing your temples. “That’s not funny, Cas.”

Cassian’s face softens as he nudges you with his hip. “You really care about this, don’t you?” 

“Of course I do. It’s Azriel. I want it to be special.”

“And it will be,” your friend says reassuringly. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this birthday party and Az will see that. My brother is a simple male. All he really wants is for his loved ones to be happy.”

“I know,” you say with a sigh. “I just want everything to be perfect. He does so much for me, for all of us. I want him to feel how loved he is.” 

Cassian smiles. “I’m glad,” his eyes meet yours and his voice is softer when he speaks again. “I’m glad Azriel has you. I knew it was hard for him when Rhys and I found our mates, but then you came along and…I don’t know. I’ve never seen him like this. You bring out a different side of him. He’s happier, lighter even, and he’s finally accepted the love that he’s deserved all along. I’ve always wanted that for him.”

Your eyes brim with tears. Cassian has seen Azriel in his darkest times. Stood by him through war, sickness, and hardships that no one should ever have to endure. It meant a lot to hear him say that. 

The bond between you and Azriel wasn’t always easy. There were walls and barriers that you two had to break through to get where you are now, but you continue to choose to love each other day after day. 

You swipe a tear away and Cas ruffles your hair. “Hey, none of that. Azriel would kick my ass if he knew I made you cry.” 

Cassian drapes an arm over your shoulder while you sniffle. “Don't worry, I’m sure you’ll come up with the perfect present. With Nes, I just choose gifts that I know would mean a lot to her. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that we cherish the most.” 

“When did you become such a romantic?” You tease.

“What can I say? The mating bond has made an honest male out of me.” 

“Thank you, Cas. For helping with the party and coming out with me today.” 

The breeze blows through Cassian’s raven locks as he smiles down at you. “And thank you. For loving my brother the way that you do.”

“I’m lucky to have him,” you say with a smile. “I think that’s what makes this so hard. Azriel deserves the damn moon and stars.” 

Cassian chuckles. “If only you could wrap up the skies and tie it up in a neat bow, you wouldn’t need me as a shopping companion.”

Just like that, the idea takes form in your mind. You dart out into the cobblestone streets so quickly that you nearly trip over your own feet. “Cas, you’re a genius!” 

You’re already several paces ahead of him before Cassian could even comprehend what was happening. “Where in the Cauldron are you going?” 

“To get my mate the perfect present!” 

When Azriel’s birthday finally rolls around, you had everything planned down to the tiniest detail. The townhouse was decorated, the food was plated, and with the exception of the High Lord and your mate, the members of the Inner Circle were all gathered on your roof. 

“Rhys says Azriel just left the house.” Feyre announces as she drapes streamers from the rafters. Rhysand had been vital in making sure your mate would be out of the house this afternoon so you and the others could set everything up. They were debriefing on reports from the Continent while you put the finishing touches for tonight’s party.

Nyx darts in between Feyre’s legs and tugs at your hand. He’s dragging a framed painting that was nearly double his size behind him. He bounces on the balls of his feet excitedly. “Can uncle Az open my gift first? Mommy helped me paint him in her studio.” 

You chuckle, peeking behind his back. The painting was indeed of Azriel and it even included an adorable depiction of your mate’s dancing shadows and glowing blue siphons, complete with his signature wings. “Of course, Nyx. I’m sure uncle Az will love it. We can even hang it up in his office.” 

The adorable toddler claps his hands together as Feyre scoops him up into her arms. “Remember, love. We have to hide and be very quiet so we can surprise your uncle.” 

Nyx nods, placing a finger to his lips. You can't help but pinch his cheek.

“Ready?” The High Lady asks you with a smile. 

You nod at your friend. “Let’s go, everyone. Az is on his way.” 

You signal for the rest of your guests to get into their hiding place. Mor and Amren duck behind the table containing the food and drinks, while Nesta and Cassian scamper towards the reading hammock Azriel built for you last summer. Elain and Lucien take cover behind the cushioned seats that you, Feyre, and Mor often lounged in when it was sunny out. Feyre and Nyx squeezed in next to them as you made your way downstairs. 

You open the door just as Azriel lands in front of your home. A smile instantly brightens his face when he sees you walking towards him. When he looks at you like that, it feels like time itself was standing still to savor the beauty of your mate.

Gods, you were so in love with him that it hurt.

Tucking his wings tightly behind him, Azriel lifts you off the ground and greets you with a kiss. You giggle as he twirls you around before setting you down. 

“I have a surprise for you.” you say with a smile. You wave a blindfold in the air, causing Azriel to raise a brow. The devious smirk that made its way onto his beautiful face made you chuckle. “Not that kind of surprise.” 

“Too bad,” Azriel says with a laugh. “It’s been a while since we used one of those.”

“There’s plenty of time for that later,” you say with a wink. “But for now, it’s meant to cover your eyes.” 

He crouches down, allowing you to tie the fabric behind his head. After ensuring that he couldn’t peek through the blindfold, you slowly guide him towards the door. Rhys winnows in behind you and slips past Azriel with a wink. 

Your mate’s shadows peer over his shoulder in curiosity, but they keep silent as you continue to lead Azriel further into the house. Sometimes you couldn’t believe that all of this was real. As you looked around with fresh eyes, you could see traces of the life you lived with Azriel. The neat stacks of your favorite books that lined the walls, which your mate insisted on sorting alphabetically, reminded you of all the nights that you sat under the stars reading together. 

The kitchen floor where you sat together, giggling like children as you spoiled your dinner with sweets just because you could. The bed that you crawled into every night, cocooned in the safety of Azriel’s arms with your limbs tangled together like you were afraid that he’d disappear if you didn’t hold onto him tightly enough. 

As if sensing your thoughts, Azriel squeezed your hand. It was his way of telling you that he was here and that he wasn’t going anywhere. You squeeze back three times. 

I love you. 

The golden faelights glow against the setting sun just as you step out onto the rooftop. 

“You can open your eyes now.” 

Azriel obliges just as everyone pops out from their hiding place. 

“Surprise!” 

Azriel hasn’t stopped smiling since he stepped foot on the roof. You weren’t sure how your mate was going to react since he usually avoided being the center of attention at all costs, but as everyone watched him open his gifts, you could tell that he was genuinely happy to have his family celebrating with him. 

Nyx’s gift was obviously in the lead for most adorable. Azriel was basically putty in the little Illyrian’s hands and he knew he had his uncle wrapped around his finger. Rhys and Feyre were up next. 

The High Lord slides a key towards Azriel and your eyes widen. 

“Don’t worry,” Rhys says with a grin. “It’s not what you think it is. Feyre darling and I spoke with Tarquin and he’s lending you one of his properties in Adriata for a week. You’re free to take the time off whenever you want. You two lovebirds have certainly earned it.” 

Azriel’s eyes meet yours and you feel a playful tug down the bond. You had a feeling that you’d hardly get any sleep on the vacation that Rhys and Feyre so kindly offered. 

A mischievous grin touches Azriel’s lips. “Thank you, that’s incredibly thoughtful of you both.” 

“You’ve never offered me and Nesta a vacation in Adriata,” Cassian jests. 

Rhys rolls his eyes. “Unlike you, Azriel isn’t banned from the Summer Court. Tarquin would have a heart attack if you so much as think about stepping foot within his borders.”

The Illyrian general crosses his arms. “It was one building!” 

Nothing topped a stay at the Summer Court, but the rest of Azriel’s presents were still incredibly thoughtful and sweet. Amren gifted him with an incredibly rare history book that looked like it was nearly as old as her. Cassian presented him with a scabbard that had three sets of wings engraved on the soft leather, symbolizing the bond between Azriel and his brothers. 

Nesta approached next with a leatherbound journal that had Azriel’s initials stamped on the cover. Everyone braced themselves for Mor’s questionable choices when it came to gift giving, but she surprised everyone with a cask of fine wine that was made in the year that Az was born. Elain and Lucien were up next and the couple’s gift was a combined effort. Elain provided a small lemon tree while Lucien planted it in your backyard. 

Finally, everyone turns to you. 

“I’m saving mine for later.”

Cassian claps Azriel on the shoulder. “You’ll be thanking me later, brother. I helped her pick it out.”

“Mother save me,” Azriel mutters under his breath. 

It’s nearly midnight when the party finally winds down. As you wave the last of your friends off, you and Azriel head back upstairs and sit side by side on the hammock. His wings cocoon you with warmth while you sit under the stars. You felt incredibly grateful that somehow, someway, you and Azriel found each other.

Your mate wraps his arms around you, kissing your cheek. “Thank you, my love. Tonight was amazing.” 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” you ask, peering up at him through your lashes. He pulls you closer, burying his cheek into your neck.

“It’s hard not to with you by my side. I couldn’t have asked for a better day.” 

You sit up, retrieving a small box from your pocket. “I'm not done celebrating you yet."

Azriel takes the velvet box from your hands and carefully unravels the ribbon tied around it. You watch in anticipation as he pulls out the small crystal orb. At first glance, the glass is small and unassuming, but that was the point. 

“Tap it.”

Your mate holds up the orb and nudges it with his fingers. The crystal comes alive with the night sky, the moon and stars shining brightly within its reflection. If you looked closely enough, you could see the mountain peaks rising up from the horizon while the heavens sparkled with showers of light.

“It’s what the stars looked like on the night we met,” you explain softly. “Cassian actually gave me the idea and Rhys helped me retrieve the memory. I found a small shop that was able to contain it in this orb. Do you remember?” 

Hazel eyes search your face as he nods slowly. “How could I ever forget? It was your first Starfall. When you walked in wearing that blue dress, I think I knew. Even then, I knew it was you.” 

You smile, full and bright, just for him. The memory of that night was so vivid, it felt like it was just yesterday. As one of your oldest friends, Rhys had invited you to celebrate Starfall with the rest of his Court. You were only meant to visit for one night, but you ended up staying for longer than you ever expected.

You and Azriel just clicked. As soon as you saw him, there was this unexplainable pull. It was like he'd become your center of gravity. You spent the whole night talking on the balcony and getting to know one another. When the sun finally rose, neither one of you wanted to let the other go.

So you never really did.

“I did too. When I looked at you, it was like I’d finally found the answer to every wish I made on every shooting star. You gave me the moon and stars that night and every night after, so I’m giving it back.” 

Azriel kisses you gently, squeezing your hand three times. I love you.

“I��d give you the whole damn sky if you asked me to,” he says as he kisses the tip of your nose. Azriel cups your cheek, his hazel eyes full of adoration. “I love it and I love you. I have since the night we met.” 

When you kiss him, you thanked the heavens above for granting you all you’ve ever asked for and more. Forever and always, Azriel was your wish come true. The shooting star that lit up your night sky.

“Happy birthday, Az.”

[writingsbychlo]

UNDER THE MISTLETOE (day one)

summary; your first day in winter court with azriel arrives, and it takes you both a little while to truly settle into the idea of a 'vacation'. word count; 6788 notes; go easy on me, this is my first time writing a series for a while, okay?

The second your feet touched the ice, you were gripping your toes to the floor through your boots, just like those first weeks of training with Cassian all those centuries ago. The carriage behind you both that had picked you up from the borders of Winter rattled behind you both as your bags were unloaded, never even touching the frosty ground before they were passed hand to hand, and carried away. Before you both stood Vivianne, eyes wide and hands clasped as she beamed at you both. “You’re here!”

“Hello, Vivianne.” You took an extra step, already finding your balance on the snowy ground with every step you took toward her, and she scoffed as gloved hands reached out to take your own. 

“Oh, call me Viv, drop all those formalities. It took me weeks to get you to last time, we only have ten days, now.” You couldn't help the laugh that fell from you as she pulled you closer. Pressing a kiss to each of your cheeks, she recoiled with a hiss. “Gods, you’re freezing. Where are your gloves? Why aren’t you wearing the scarf we sent you?” Like a mother-hen, she instantly began fussing, and you became acutely aware of Azriel still standing behind you as she adjusted the lapels of your coat. 

“I’m sure you know Azriel, but in case you have never been formally introduced,” Your hand waved in Azriel’s direction as he stood still as a statue behind you, “Vivianne, this is my best friend, Azriel. Azriel, Lady of the Winter Court, Vivianne.” 

She reached out, stepping past you both far more smoothly than your shaky steps, and she shook one gloved hand against his. “I’m still working on getting Kallias to give me that fancy High Lady status just like your Rhysand did. Perhaps you can help me convince him while you’re here.”

She winked playfully at Azriel, and he only nodded stiffly, while you only chuckled at the joke. As soon as Viv stepped back, he took his place beside you, shoulders still locked with nerves. Slipping your hand along his forearm, you held on gently, feeling some of the tension melt from him only a second later when his arm shoulders loosened fractionally. 

“Oh, relax, Azriel.” She raised a hand, almost as if she was going to swat him, and thinking better of it as she swiped at the air instead. “You’re here to have fun, to enjoy the celebrations, and we’re so happy to have you both. One of the things Rhysand mentioned in our correspondence is that it’s been far too long since either of you had any time off.”

“Of course he did.” The tell-tale tingle of shadows curling around your waist made you shudder slightly, another tendril twisting just behind your shoulder and wrapping along the arm still connected to Azriel’s. Her eyes flicked between the two of you, a smile containing something you couldn't quite read forming on her lips, but she didn’t speak. Instead, she spun on her heel, motioning the two of you to follow behind her as she began making the trek up to the grand palace she called home.

“Kallias is still working, but he’ll be free this afternoon to join us. In the meantime, I can show you both to your rooms, leave you be for a while to unpack, wander the halls and explore.” She glanced over his shoulder, smirking a little in Azriel’s direction, and you couldn't stop the laugh that left your lips. “Our home is your home for the next ten days, after all.”

She did exactly that, whisking the two of you past the marvellous decor and large staircases, down many a twisting corridor, until you were arriving at your rooms. The last time you’d stayed in Winter, you’d been set up at an inn down in the village, and you hadn't seen this deep inside the palace before. It truly was spectacular. Paintings on every wall, pretty details and vivid colours that you knew would drive Feyre wild. 

Not that you’d tell Rhys, because he’d gut the whole townhouse and decorate to compete, but the Winter Court rooms were arguably the most luxurious guest rooms you had ever seen. Whites and blues and silvers, warmed with golds, a fireplace that was already crackling happily and flooding the room with heat as soon as your eyes landed on it. At the far side of the room, a door lay half open, carpet following through, and you raised a brow. 

“What’s through there?”

“Azriel’s room.” Disconnecting from your side, Azriel crossed the floor and disappeared inside, leaving you and Viv alone to take it all in. “We figured you’d want them to be connected, so you don’t have to travel too far. The fireplaces and the bathtubs are enchanted, and if you need anything, there’s a bell in the corridor you can ring for assistance.”

You thanked her, squeezing her hands once again before she took her leave. In the centre of the room, between a couch and two side-tables were all of your bags, stacked up neatly on top of one another. You were frozen to the spot, like the weather outside had snuck in to root you to the spot. It felt wrong, something about it made your skin itch. You weren’t used to taking your time and relaxing; your norm was living on the go out of your travel bag and rushing between tasks.

Lifting all three bags onto the huge bed, you were greeted by a soft bundle of knitted pale blue sitting on your pillow. Shaking it out, gaudy snowflakes and knitted snowmen were found, intricate wintery designs in white stitched neatly into the fabric. The laugh you gave was beyond your control as you looked at it. 

“So, you got one too, huh?” Azriel was leaning doorway connecting your two rooms, and he pushed off to walk over to you as your focus moved to him. In his hands as he approached was his own matching sweater. Like yours, white thread decorated thick blue wool, with snowflakes and snowmen and patterns, the only difference was that his had been specifically designed in his exact shade of cobalt blue. 

“We have matching jumpers, how cute of us.” A smile you knew he saved just for quiet moments between only the two of you adorned his face at your teasing.

“This is definitely my brother’s doing. They have our names on the back.” Flipping it around in his hands, and you tried to suppress a laugh at the cursive font depicting his name, surrounded by soft snowflakes and sparkles. “Oh, you want to laugh? Flip yours around.”

You did so, groaning as you saw your name there, surrounded by stars and tiny pom-poms. “These are atrocious.”

“I vote we throw them in the fire.” He threw his jumper down onto your bed, leaving it in a pile next to your own as you placed it down, his body soon following as he flopped onto the mattress. His hands propped under his head, stiffness visibly evaporating from his body as he let out a long sigh, and you unzipped the first bag. “This feels weird, right?”

“What, you immediately rubbing all your gross travel smell all over my bed instead of your own? I’d have said more annoying, but...” Scooping up a pile of t-shirts and long sleeves, and carrying them over to the empty dresser and he scoffed at the teasing.

“I meant being on vacation. I feel like there���s something I should be doing right now, it’s bothering me.” You could only hum, the same rattled feeling already sitting in your gut, and he propped himself up on his hands to watch you work. “What kind of activities do you think they have planned for us?”

“Why don’t you go and snoop around and find out?” He rolled his neck from side to side, before giving in to his restlessness, and standing. He picked up piles of jeans and leggings from your bag, following you to the dresser and unpacking them into a new drawer, patting each one down neatly just for something to do. 

“I’ve been explicitly told that this is a vacation, and I’m supposed to relax, and not do any ‘spy work’ or ‘sneaking around working when you’re supposed to be having fun’.” His fingers made quotation marks, and you gasped, facing him with a look of pure shock. 

“Who would ever dare tell you what to do?”

“Oh, you don’t know her.” He beamed, nudging the drawer shut with his hip when he’d finished. “Just this really annoying friend I have. More like a colleague, or even a sickness you just can’t shake, always lingering.”

“Is that so?”

“Totally. She’s the worst. Always bossing me around.” He was biting the inside of his cheek to contain his laughter, a sparkle in his eye from his amusement that was so rare to see, and it warmed your whole chest to watch him let loose. “It’s always ‘Azriel, don’t forget to put on sunscreen’ or ‘Az, you need to drink some more water’. On my case, everywhere I go.”

“She sounds like a real pain, you should probably get rid of her altogether. Just drop her off in the forest somewhere.” Tucking the first, now empty case under the bed, you opened the second, and the heat from his body pressed up against your side, hot breath puffing as he laughed and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Well, I can’t do that, I think I’d miss her far too much.”

“I’m not so sure she’d miss you.” It was his turn to gasp, to look shocked, and he diverted his attention to the second case while chuckling.

“You packed more than me.”

“I hope that’s not your way of telling me that all you brought were those leathers.” You tutted, eyes scanning up and down his body once, before tearing your gaze away and unloading bottles for the bathroom onto the sheets. 

“What, don’t tell me you don’t like them? I look so good in these leathers.” Despite his shy nature, Azriel’s ego tended to run unchecked when he was in a good mood. “I’ll have you know, Cassian says my ass looks great in these.”

“Well, Cassian’s not wrong.” You muttered, turning your back on the laugh he gave you, a deep rumble that followed you all the way to the bathroom as you stacked your bottles along the counter. “Cassian shouldn’t be feeding your ego so much It’s not safe.”

“For you, or for me?” He winked as you reentered the room.

“For all of the single and eligible people in Velaris, and now, the Winter capital.” Shadows were winding around your ankles, as they always did when he was this relaxed, barely floating inches off of the floor in steady pools. 

“Well, all the single and eligible people of Velaris, and all of Prythian and beyond, for that matter, can rest assured. My ego is only for you, I reserve all bothering rights exclusively for making you scowl.”

You did exactly that, using it to hide the true smile that wanted to break out. He didn’t bother to hide his, pinching at your cheek before you walked away with your jumpers. “Ah, there it is. Truly, what I live for.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that, and so you simply didn’t. A peaceful, comfortable quiet fell between you both as you unpacked slowly, Azriel helping, until all three bags were tucked under the bed for safe-keeping and you were laying out your book on the bedside table, ready for a night of reading. 

You turned to him, words dying in your throat as you found him already watching you with a soft smile. Instead, you held his gaze, almost holding your breath too, until finally, your mind was able to catch up. 

“Thank you for coming with me.” All jokes aside, Azriel had always been your most reliable friend, the one you could turn to in both emergencies and search of comfort, someone who would listen and offer advice, and never left your side. 

“You sound like you didn’t want to come alone?”

“I didn’t. I don’t mind travelling alone when I’m focused on work, but not for a vacation. I’m happy you’re here with me.”

“I think Cassian would have made for more charming company.”

“Perhaps, but it’s not Cassian’s company that I want.” That smile was back, the one that you somehow knew was just for you.

“I’m happy to be here with you.” He whispered, one arm looping your shoulders, hand rubbing your arm lightly as he hugged you close, and you relaxed into him. “So, you want to go explore this place?”

“You didn’t even have to ask.”

Stumbling back into the room, Azriel was working a mile a minute as he listed off everything he’d managed to observe, and if you hadn't known him for so long you’d be shocked. Who would have guessed that the feared spymaster and infamous shadowsinger loved structural design so much?

Just as he was beginning to gush again about the exposed beams and all their pretty carvings, there was a knock at the door, and it almost pained you to watch the way his blissful joy snapped back into rigid seriousness. You answered it, peering around it to find a familiar face.

“You two all settled in?” Viv let herself in, waltzing past the doorway and into the room. “I hear you’ve been looking around, find anything you like?”

She looked expectant, hoping for feedback on her home, and you remembered a vague comment during a party about just how much input she’d had in the decorating and building of it. “A beautiful library that stole my heart.”

“There’s very little of anything with an intellectual note in there.” She confessed, and your smile only grew. “Borrow anything you like.”

“I brought a whole stack of books, Feyre’s sister provides me with an ever-growing collection of romances that I really must make a dent in.” 

“Well, if you read anything good, you let me know.” She snickered, eyes closing in on the pile of jumpers abandoned by your pillows, and her cheekiness only doubled. “You two need to wrap up warm before we head out. You should wear your sweaters.”

“You mean those atrocities?” Azriel mirrored your word from before, and your hostess clutched her chest. 

“I knitted those myself!” Azriel’s face paled momentarily, before Viv was letting out what could only be described as howling laughter, and Azriel scowled at her, even if mirth shone in his eyes. “I’m kidding, Rhysand sent them over and made me promise to force you to wear them at least once. If we get it out of the way on the first day, you get the whole rest of your vacation without this horrible sword hanging over your heads.”

“I knew he was involved! Perfect wing-measurements, I can’t believe this..” Azriel muttered, arms crossing over his chest, and Viv laughed her way right out into the corridor. With a promise to meet her downstairs, the second you closed the door and turned back to the room, a pile of soft wool hit you in the face, landing on the floor at your feet. “I nominate you to take one for the team and wear that jumper.”

“You have to wear yours too!” His head shook. “I’m gonna let Rhys see every memory from this trip and if there’s none with you wearing that sweater, you’ll have hell to pay.”

His eyes darkened. “You’re pure evil.”

“Only for you,” You cooed, taking his sweater from the bed and throwing it at his face the same way he’d done to you. He anticipated it, knowing you far too well, and he caught it in front of his face before impact. “Now, go change. You’re not wearing leathers on our first day of vacation.”

“You just want me to cover up this fine ass.” He let out a noise like a scorned child, door closing behind himself, and you were left laughing gently to yourself in the silence. You tugged your jumper over your head, feeling the slight itch of it at your neck, trying to ignore it as you tugged the laces on your boots. Once your feet were lowered back to the ground and you were adjusting your coat on your body once again, Azriel’s door reopened. 

He stood before you in far more casual clothing, a luxury you were rarely granted as he cycled between leathers, sweatpants and pyjamas exclusively, depending on his mood. Faded black skinny jeans that weren’t too tight, black boots much like your own laced up to his ankles, and a single, thick silver ring with a blue siphon atop sat on his left thumb. A chain around his neck held the second, blending well into the deep shade of his jumper as he, too, tugged at the neckline. You were almost certain Rhys had made them itchy intentionally.

He caught your gaze lingering on the chain around his neck, fingers latching around his jumper to haul the edge of it up and show you his belt, the other five still sitting full-size on his belt. Your gaze closed in the dark patch of hair decorating the taut skin below his navel, leading in a thick trail before disappearing behind the exposed band of his boxers, and you tore your gaze back up to his eyes. You could barely manage a nod, a pinched smile as you choked down the lump in your throat. “Gotta be prepared, just in case.”

“I would expect nothing less of my favourite spymaster.” That flash of skin sent a burst of heat to your cheeks. Luckily, Azriel was far too busy adjusting the colour of his coat as he put it on to notice, trying to cover as much of the hideous jumper as he could. You’d done the same. “You ready to go?”

“Ready to go, so we can get back all the faster, and I can burn this monstrous thing.” He tugged the collar again, before tucking his leather gloves into his pockets for later. He tossed you a pair of pink fluffy gloves, letting you catch them this time, and holding the door to the bedroom open.

Azriel took the steps two at a time, all but skipping to the bottom of the long staircase. As you followed slowly behind, you could almost swear the excitement of a vacation was starting to build up for him as it had for you. Standing near the entrance was Vivianne, now accompanied by Kallias, whose face lit up much like his wife’s had the first time she’d seen the two of you. 

“My dear, it’s so lovely to see you again.” He placed two kisses on your cheeks, just as Vivianne had, hands gripping your own tightly as Azriel settled comfortably in beside you. He liberated one hand to shake Azriel’s, terse nods shared as they both tried to hide every bit of tension they were feeling. “Your travels were good, I hope? Viv showed you to your rooms, everything okay with them?”

“They were fine, don’t you worry.” People wouldn't guess it of the winter Lord, but he was secretly an owner of one of the biggest hearts you’d ever met, with an equal amount of insecurity to top it. “Except, of course, for your role in these.” You opened your coat, showing the jumper you were keeping well hidden beneath, and his head tossed back in a laugh. 

“Court-to-court relations. It was Rhysand’s only request. I was merely doing it to secure our alliance, you wouldn't want to destroy all your hard work, would you?”

“You’re manipulating me!”

“I’m delicately guiding you to the right path.” He corrected, tapping the tip of your nose and releasing your other hand. 

“The right path that benefits you.” As soon as Kallias stepped back, a shadow was twisting around your wrist as it fell to your side, one winding around your waist, only making it halfway before being yanked back by its owner, to twist at his thighs and shoulders instead. 

Kallias said nothing, instead, he offered his wife an arm while smirking, leading the way toward the courtyard as you and Azriel followed behind. The moment those heavy pine doors were pulled open, a blast of cold air rushed in, sweeping around the entryway and making both of you shudder, and you tied your coat back up tightly over your jumper.

“So, Viv, what is it that we’re doing today?” She was climbing into the carriage before you, and you didn’t get an answer until you were settling in across from her, Azriel squeezing in beside you. 

“We’re going tree shopping!” Your bows furrowed, Azriel’s confusion matching your own as you glanced at him, so palpable in his gaze you practically felt it. You didn’t even have to ask, the pair chuckling as the carriage took off across the icy planes. “It’s tradition here to have a ‘Christmas tree’, you get a new one every year. You hang faelights and ornaments and put all your gifts underneath!”

You paused for a second, eyes narrowing on Kallias and Vivianne as they awaited your response. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“Huh.” You sit back, trying to be careful of Azriel’s tucked wings against the leather bench, and Azriel takes over. He asks, he does his best to seem casual and yet somehow that intensity about questioning the tradition seems to pull Kallias out of the shell he’d put himself in, as the two fell into a deep discussion. 

You merely watched the scenery go by, squeezing Azriel’s hand lightly when he placed it on your knee, rubbing his thumb through the layers of thick trousers you were wearing for warmth. After a while, the carriage was slowing, and you were dismounting into a thick patch of snowy evergreen, tall trees and the scent of crisp pine swaying around you.

The two natives lead the way. In one hand Kallias was carrying an axe and a blue ribbon, in the other, his wife’s hand, as they reminisced between themselves on their previous trips. Laughing and sharing soft looks, it made your heart ache for what they had. You reached for Azriel, latching onto him as you hooked an arm through his, the other holding his bicep as you let your chin rest on his shoulder where you walked alongside one another. His arm crooked, pulling you a little closer, letting you rest in his warmth. 

“So, what makes the perfect tree? What are we looking for?” The deep baritone of his voice bounced between empty spaces and the trees, prompting Viv and Kallias to slow their walk to meet the both of you again. You squeezed his arm in encouragement for his engagement, feeling a burst of shadows crawl over your back in response. 

Then, Vivianne groaned as Kallias’ expression became one of excitement and thrill, detaching from his wife to stop and turn to Azriel fully. “Oh, you’ve really done it now, Azriel.”

Ignoring his wife’s comment, Kallias exploded into an enthusiastic speech about what makes the perfect ‘Christmas tree’. As soon as the spiel about the cone-shape he was looking for, not being too thin or too wide, not being too tall or too short, the distribution of branches and the impact on decorating, he was unstoppable. Much to both of your surprises, Kallias swept Azriel up into it. As soon as the Lord wandered away to give texture examples, the spy followed, stripping off one glove to touch the pine needles and the bark on the tree, both taking a knee to inspect the trunk under the branches, and more. 

Then, they were walking, striding was a better description, disappearing between the trees, and you and Vivianne had to all but jog to catch up. When they finally stopped moving twenty minutes later, you and Viv were snickering at their behaviour, coming to a stop, huddling together in the crisp weather with her arm lopped with yours, watching them. 

“Does Kal get this serious every year?”

“Oh, yes,” She sighed, fondness lacing it as well as exasperation, staring at her love as he stood with his hands on his hips, staring at a tree. “We’ve spent a whole day out here more times than I can count, walking for miles, around and around, before we found a tree he was happy with.”

“Well, apologies, my love, for wanting you to have the perfect tree.” His pale cheeks were flushed red, whether from his wife’s teasing or simply the cold you didn’t know, and Vivianne only shrugged from her hold on you. Sparkling hazel eyes met yours, your brows shooting up a little at his equally excitedly-flushed expression. 

“I think I can shave a few hours off of that for you, m’lady.” He nodded, rolling his shoulders back and rustling his wings for a second, and in a sudden flurry of movement, dark shadows shot out between the trees in every direction. You waited for the flinch, the jerk of shock from both of your hosts, but it never came. Az noticed it too, if the please twitch of his lips at the corner was anything to go by. Viv reached out, running her fingers through the stream of shadows passing by her ankle, while Kallias stared on in nothing less than anticipation. 

After merely hardly a minute of waiting, the shadows came rushing back, and your partner’s gaze turned to the pale-haired male before him, nodding. “I think I found the perfect one.”

“Lead the way.” They walked ahead, once again letting you and Vivianne trail behind, and when you caught up, they were both inspecting the tree with avid excitement. “It is perfect. You know, if we didn’t already have the trees in the palace all set up, we’d be getting this one for sure.”

“If you already have all the trees sorted, why are we here?”

“This one is for your room,” Viv responded. “We have some boxes of decorations put aside for you, Kallias just thought it might be nice for you both to try your hand at decorating.” 

Now that brought you some amusement, “Oh, trust me, Azriel will love that. He takes over the decorating for Solstice every year. He claims it’s because nobody knows how to do it right.”

“I can hear you.” The male grouched, wisps of shadows darting out to spin around you, one tickling across your ribs until you squirmed with giggles, the other poking at your cheek, before returning to the herd.

“Alright, Azriel. Here you go,” Taking the axe from Kallias’ outstretched hand, his brows raised. “Now you’ve picked your tree, chop it down. Viv and I will go and arrange delivery.”

He hefted the axe up onto his shoulder, nodding, and watching the two walk away, until you were left alone to sink down onto the abandoned tree stump behind your legs. You wanted to make a joke, a cheeky comment about his new-found love for trees, of all things, but the loud thud of metal on wood cut you off. Head snapping up, you watched Azriel haul the axe out again, swinging it inwards to hit the same spot exactly, deepening the rift in the wood as splinters flew out.

It continued, on and on until there was a deep groove cut into the centre of the trunk, and Azriel was panting, pausing long enough to strip off his coat. As soon as it was gone and he was handing it to you, his brows raised at your expression. “You know, you could help out.”

“And why would I do that when I have such an incredible view from over here?” He huffed, as he picked the axe back up, balancing it between his hands and trying to hide the red splotching on the tips of his ears. He didn’t often blush, but when you caught him off guard, watching the sweet colour paint his tanned skin was one of your favourite things. Your giggle made him scoff. 

He got back to work, and you tugged his larger coat over your shoulders for warmth, tucking it around your body for an extra layer, breath held when the tree finally started to wobble where it stood. Only two swings later, it was toppling over backwards, creaking and groaning as it snapped away from the stump, and leaving a loud thud as it sprayed snow up upon its collision with the ground. 

Pushing you up on the stump to perch beside you, Azriel stretched one wing out behind you, wrapping lightly around you as a gesture against the cold when he took in the extra layer you’d borrowed. “You know, it’s a good thing we don’t have trees for Solstice, look at all those pine needles.” He waved one hand in the direction of the forest floor, littered with weak branches snapped off and pine needles dotted around, sharp little things. “We would never hear the end of Cassian’s complaining if he pricked himself on them.”

“We’d never hear the end of it if he had to chop down his own tree,” You offered, and his head tipped back in a laugh, throat bobbing, eyes closing, and your gaze followed the line of one prominent vein down his neck, before tearing away and looking ahead instead. “He’d carry it back over his shoulder, and make sure to put on a show about how big and strong he is.”

“He’d get rip-roaringly drunk, as he does every Solstice, and try to dance with the tree.” Was his comeback, your laughter mixing together in perfect harmony in the air as you thought about your friends, and wondered what they might be up to right now. 

The moment was cut short by the return of Kal and Viv, two steaming paper cups in hand each, and the male whistled as he took in the work Azriel had done in their time away as Viv pressed a hot cup into both of your hands. The spiced scents of hot cider reached your nose, a treat you’d often bought from street vendors back home, and it settled that little bit of homesickness perfectly as you took a tentative first sip. 

“Alright, we’re good to go. They’re going to get the tree all loaded up, and it’ll meet us back at the palace.” Kal patted the severed stump, more manly approval wafting off of him as Azriel puffed up with pride, and you’d roll your eyes at the pair if it wasn’t so adorable. You’d have to remember next time that mending bridges between men only required a single axe and a tree. 

Your attention was pulled away as Az took his coat back, and Viv all but squealed excitedly before you; “You’re going to love decorating the tree.”

You were surrounded by boxes, far more than you could possibly ever use, and Vivian had simply left, after promising to see you both for dinner in a couple of hours. She had left behind you and Azriel, standing before the fire in your bedroom, utterly confused and entirely hopeless and you took it all in. 

“Where do we start?”

“I don’t know!” Your hands were thrown up, before landing on your hips. You both turned to look at the naked tree that was leaning against the wall, branches all carefully folded and tied up for travel, and the large basin sitting beside it. “What’s that for?”

“Water.. I think.” He scratched at the back of his head, one hand also balanced on his hip as the other lay limp at his side. A scrutinising state ran over everything, before his eyes finally met yours, and not a second later, bubbles of laughter were bursting out of both of you at the ridiculousness of it all. “Alright, we can do this.”

“Yeah, we can. We are a great team, we’re high-ranking members of the Night Court, you could sneak into any building and I can negotiate any contract. We are skilled, we can decorate a dead tree.”

“Absolutely we can.” He nodded, very seriously, hands clapping together in front of himself. Your enthusiastic speech came to an end, both of you at a loss for what to say next, lips pressing into a line once again as you found yourselves lost. “Maybe we should choose where to put it first?”

“You’re so right.” You were simply relieved, bursting into action and freeing yourself from your decoration cage as you grabbed for the basin, spinning it over in your hands as Azriel crouched, lugging the tree up and onto his shoulder. “How about in the corner, not too close to the fire?”

He merely set off walking, letting you place down the basin and position it to your liking before standing the tree up within the grate in the centre, holding itself up and tall. He gave it a nudge to see if it would wobble, satisfied when it didn’t. Next, you set about filling it with what you hoped was a sufficient amount of water, until you were left staring proudly at the still-wrapped tree. He flicked a small dagger out of his pocket, unsheathing the blade and beginning to cut away at the ropes holding it sealed, until all of the branches were flopping back out and filling the space.

“We’re so good at this.”

“Damn right, we are.” His eyes narrowed on it, before he was leaning forward, adjusting tangled branches and spreading them out until they looked evenly distributed, all branches facing the right way, spaces filled and ready to hold decorations. “So, ornaments?” He lifted up one box, peeling the lid off and throwing it to the ground, staring in at the array of multi-coloured glass trinkets inside. 

“Don’t you think we should put the string of faelights on first?”

“Why would we do that?”

“So we don’t knock all the ornaments off when we attach them, and so you can’t see the string!” You spoke it like it was obvious, and his gaze moved from the bundle of lights in your hand, to the glass trinkets, and back. 

“Okay, that’s a fair point.” And so the two of you found yourself sitting on the floor, your legs crossed and his spread out before him, back to the couch, untangled one end each of a string of lights until you met in the middle. Azriel may be patient, but undoing knots had never been his forte, if the occasional frustrated grunt and growl was anything to judge by. By the time it was done, he was scowling down at the pile, glaring at it like it had personally offended him with its soft glow and twinkling sequence. 

You threaded them, one at a time between the branches, until they were wrapped top to bottom, giving the tree an ethereal glow. It was like nothing you’d ever seen before, warm gold emanating from amongst the green, making it look like it was alive and seeping out heavenly magic. “Wow.”

“I kind of don’t want to put anything else on it.”

“Not even the glitter strings you banished to the corner?” The look of awe vanished, replaced by a grimace as he looked over. Tassels of shiny colour that made a rustling noise when he shook them. He had claimed just how much he hated the sight and feel of it, refusing to even open the box again once the lid was on. 

“Not even that.”

He picked up the tinkling box of glass once again, holding it against himself as you began to pick through, before pulling out a deep purple one, and letting it spin on its string where you held it. “This one reminds me of Rhys.”

“Put it right at the top, he’d be mad if he thought he was at the bottom.” 

You did as told, reaching up as high as you could to hook it onto a branch, both of you watching the stick bob a couple of times, but the ornament never fell, and the glow of the lights filtered through it, prettily glittering in the low light of the room. Next, came a pink one for Elain, an orange for Lucien, another purple. Red, silver, gold, orange, blue, green. 

Every possible colour, until it was an explosion, as brought and busy as the rainbow was, and it was beautiful. Neither of you had any words as you admired your handiwork. 

Perhaps you’d put on a few too many ornaments, but you couldn't help it, the way they spun and glowed, casting out coloured reflections across the room like stained glass windows, the sight, the way you felt so proud of it as you took a place beside Azriel to simply stare. It was your own version of perfect, even if it was strange to you both.

“I’m trying to memorise how it looks,” Azriel whispered, as if anything any louder would shatter the moment you were standing in, head tipping to the side as colours lit up his skin. “I want to as Feyre to paint it.”

“I would love to see that painting.”

He hummed, enough of a response, and then one warm arm was settling over your shoulders, pulling you into his side as you both continued to admire it. When standing became too much, legs aching at locked knees, you both collapsed against couch, his wings spread over the cushions. Finally, that unnerving feeling of needing to move, to work, to do, was slipping away, and you were left with empty bliss as you relaxed. “You hungry?”

“Yeah. When did Viv say dinner was?”

“Not sure.” His attention moved to the door, and he heaved himself back up to full height before wandering away, leaning out of the door, he tugged on the little bell, and almost instantly, someone sped around the corner to see to his needs. A few words were exchanged that you didn’t bother to listen to, and then he was closing the door. “About an hour. Think you can make it that long?”

“Not sure, I might just wither away. I did do such hard work today.”

“Yes, watching me chop down a tree must have been so very exhausting for you.” He pouted, bottom lip jutting out, and before he’d even sat down again, a firm knock at the door startled you both. After answering, Azriel turned back to you with a tray in one hand, and you perked up instantly at the sugary smell that filled the air. “Apparently, Vivianne had requested that once we finish decorating, we’re brought hot chocolate, and whatever a ‘candy cane’ is. It’s a tradition for them.”

“Who are we to deny a tradition?”

“Exactly.” He plopped back down onto the floor beside you, kicking his legs out and toeing off his boots until he could flex his feet before the fire. Placing the tray between you both, you picked up a saucer of hot chocolate. It was covered in whipped cream and a dusting of cinnamon, with a striped stick that curled at the end sitting inside of it. You picked it up, using it to stir your hot chocolate slowly, until the cream was dissolved into it. 

Azriel took a sip beside you, already finished with his mixing, and you copied, eyes widening at the burst of hot flavours across your tongue. “It's mint flavoured!”

“It’s really good.” He groaned, gulping again with no care for the heat, and you grinned at the wince he made, zero regrets on his face. 

“You and your sweet tooth.” He grinned, inspecting the stirrer in his hand, tapering off at the end where it had melted. Then, he lifted it to his lips, licking away the excess cream that was still on it, and your hands shook, almost enough to rattle the saucer. You placed it down for safety, clutching only the hot porcelain between your hands instead. 

“It’s the stick! That’s what makes it mint flavoured.” He stuck it into his mouth, lips sealing around it. You found yourself staring down at the red-and-white bar, before deciding to copy him. It was sweet, strong peppermint, and obviously, the source of the subtle taste left lingering in your drink. “Good, right?”

“We should get these for Solstice.” He made a sound of agreement, dipping it back into his drink before raising it to his mouth again. 

“We can make it our own little tradition.”

[undiscovered-horizon]

Hi! Can you do a Morpheus x reader where she’s like his right hand and has been around since the beginning and is the second command and/or hand of the king and Morpheus is down bad and everyone can see he worships the ground she walks on and people who don’t know them are confused who is the ruler and who is actually the right hand because there so attentive to each other.the reader stays In The dreaming when Morpheus is captured and never stops trying to bring him home.and maybe a confession/proposal from dream

"The Right Honourable" - Morpheus x Reader

WORDCOUNT: ~ 3.3k Sandman-inspired playlist

The dispute over Roaring Plains went back to the creation of Dreaming. Barty and Garth claimed that the land belonged to their respective ancestors and that either should be the rightful and exclusive owner of the seven hills. After aeons of arguing and waking up every entity nearby at the crack of dawn with their yelling, Barty and Garth decided to finally take the matter to the King. After all, whose judgement could settle their dispute if not the voice of the Lord of the Realm?

Morpheus had a curious habit of sitting on his throne leaning slightly to the left where you stood as if he was always expecting you to chip in like a temptress whispering sweet words that slowly ruin an empire. Only you were quite the opposite - a temptress that softened the strong hand with which he ruled like a warm sunray brushing against frosty cheeks on a winter morning.

Due to the slightly overwhelming emptiness of the throne room, the rushed footsteps belonging to Barty and Garth resounded throughout the hall in a loud echo. As they marched through the marble corridors, their blurry reflections on the polished marble following them in an equally irate manner, the two farmers made sure to keep their comically large distance between each other.

Barty, being significantly taller than his neighbour Garth, approached the throne much faster and wasted no time in starting a broil. "I have come here to regain my rightful land!"

"Your rightful land?!" Garth asked between his pants. He tried to push Barty but the taller man didn't even flinch - he seemed to be more angry about Garth touching his brand new velvet green vest than attempting to shove him. "Roaring Plains belongs to me, ya dobber!"

The marble corridors as if with newly-found spite managed to make the affront louder and sharper sounding. Hearing the tasteless insult, you wanted to cut the growing tension as soon as possible. It was no way to speak in the presence of a king. "Garth, if you could-"

"Hey!" the farmer interrupted you. A deep wrinkle appeared between his thick, furrowed eyebrows. His angered face was about as maroon as his plaid tam o'shanter. It was worth noting that he took the hat off a little too late considering he had originally entered the throne room of the palace with his head covered. "I'm trying to speak to our merciful lord!"

Suddenly, Morpheus clenched his hand in a fist and moved ever so slightly out of the throne, sitting now on its very edge - ready to jump off it at any moment, a poked lion ready to pounce. "You will address the Right Honourable with proper respect," he began in a bizarrely calm, wavering voice like all of his energy was directed at not lashing out at the very moment, "or you can leave my palace and hope I have too many duties to tend to on this day."

Garth almost opened a dispute but managed to bite himself in the tongue. Barty tried to discreetly slap his neighbour on the shoulder as though to bring him to his senses.

"Garth and I came to you, my merciful lord, due to an old dispute about the land, Roaring Plains. After generations of disagreeing, we decided to leave the judgement to you, the highest and most rightful instance in this beautiful realm."

You looked at Morpheus when Barty regurgitated sleazy brown-nosing you had heard many times before. Despite the general lack of expression on his face, you could quickly tell he was growing tired and angrier: it was visible in the way he sat, the way his foot tapped against the floor and even the way he occasionally inhaled in a strangely sharp way as if he closed his ears to all the sweet-talking and consciously focused on breathing calmly to not lose his grip on emotions. It was something you appreciated about him as a king as well as a man - Morpheus was pragmatic. He yearned for honesty and straightforwardness, which wasn't exactly common in the royalty of any kind.

"I've heard enough." Morpheus interrupted the respective ramblings of Barty and Garth, each of them telling tall tales as irrefutable proof of being the exclusive, rightful owners of the disputed land. Given the severity of the conflict, it was pretty surprising that both farmers stopped talking the moment Dream asked them to. Neither of them was willing to go back home defeated.

It was such a normal thing for you to lean down and whisper. Only occasionally did Morpheus not expect for you to chip in and on such rare instances he made it very clear - he leaned as far away from you as he could while remaining seated. "My lord, Roaring Plains is too much land for one man to farm, no matter how driven. They could share it, bring prosperity in place of envy."

Another normal thing regarding your council was the way Morpheus would look at you. His bright eyes stared into yours with a certain reflection, always making you wonder what in the world he was pondering while admiring your face merely inches apart. Sometimes his blue eyes seemed strangely vacant as if the moment you appeared before them all coherent thoughts left his mind and there was only you in the entire universe. But it was only a nice thought about a nice man - you never quite believe there was even a grain of truth in that little observation.

Visibly reluctantly, Morpheus finally looked away from you and at the two farmers who nervously waited for the king's judgement. Barty kept picking at the hem of his velvet vest, picking off invisible dust and lost strings, while Garth crumpled his hat in his clammy, stained hands.

"So it shall be," Morpheus announced garnering the attention of the farmers. Both of them raised their eyebrows in surprise, clearly not knowing what their merciful lord meant through his words. "Roaring Plains shall be shared by you and your families from this day forward. Dismissed."

Barty and Garth looked at each other unsure. The taller of them forced a smile on his face and reluctantly extended his hand to the other man. Garth looked at the hand, then at the man's face and slowly shook Garth's hand. Barty quietly said something to his neighbour only to put his arm around his shoulder afterwards and lead him out of the palace. The ancient dispute seemed to have disappeared in a matter of minutes.

"King Morpheus unites and not divides," you said in an exaggerated official tone when the two of you were alone again. "Sounds rather lovely, doesn't it?"

He stared at you with a shadow of a smile dancing across his face. Everyone knew about Dream's affection towards you, perhaps except for the King himself. Should he be asked about it, he'd deny any favouritism and simply state that he follows your advice because it's good advice. "I owe such praise to my Right Honourable."

Some, however, began to consider a certain shift of power having witnessed their lord's curious affection towards you. In a colourful analogy, one might compare the arrangement to a magician and his assistant: everyone knows that it's the assistant who does the real magic. While the audience is captivated by the showman pulling another bunny from a hat, the true prestidigitator has a chance to fool the onlookers right in front of their faces. Such nonsense would have been already disputed officially in the King's court but firm believers of that conspiracy remained too anxious of their lord to ever bring their suspicions to light.

If someone from the Waking World was to visit Dreaming, one of the first things they'd notice would be the strangely unchangeable weather and a suspicious lack of wind. The latter, however, was a much more complex issue as there were only two places in all of Dreaming where air moved: Fiddler's Green, with its gentle spring breeze and the terrace garden of the King's palace where an equally gentle zephyr brushed against vines, trees and flowers.

The case of said terrace gardens was interesting in itself as it wasn't as old as the rest of the palace. In fact, there were villages in Dreaming that were older than the flowery addition, although the thickness and sprawl of the red ivy could suggest otherwise. Aside from ivy, the garden had beautiful flowerbeds of white roses, buttercups, carnations and lilies. Morpheus always thought they bloomed so nicely only because they were envious of your own charm.

"Right Honourable?" The familiar voice distracted you from the thick book you had in your hands. Morpheus was strolling towards you, clearly not in a rush to get on with any duties left for the day. "Lucienne doesn't take lightly the books leaving her library."

The sun was behind your back, creating an angelic halo of bright light and blooming flowers that filled the terrace garden. If you were to be gone the next morning, that was the way Morpheus would have wanted to remember you: happy, with nature cradling around you to admire your beauty with him. Thankfully, you were going to be in the Dreaming the next day. And the day after that as well as many more centuries to come. You were sitting on a marble bench with carved decorative birds and for a moment, Morpheus considered whether you needed a blanket or a set of cushions. Surely a seat of stone could not be a comfortable reading place.

"I am sorry to inform you, my lord but I'm afraid I'm the only exception to that rule. Lucienne has told me that I might be the only person who actually returns them on time."

"What is it you're reading?" he said as he sat down beside you. It was a rare occasion that both of you could do something else besides tending to the kingdom. Quite curiously, even during those scarce moments of downtime, you still decided to spend it with each other.

"The Goldfinch, my lord." Keeping your finger inside it, you closed the book to show the minimalistic and yet very meaningful cover. "It's about a boy who steals his late mother's favourite painting from a gallery and runs across the world with it. He ends up in Holland..." your voice trailed away and Morpheus silently waited for the questions you were inevitably going to ask. "Do you think Holland's nice?" you said as you looked at him.

"Waking World is no place for us." He spared no time in repeating obvious rules you were more than familiar with - you were there when they were written.

"I know, my lord," you answered in a slightly sadder tone. Sometimes you wished he didn't remind you of the fate bestowed on you. "Yet the stories from there always make me wonder. Like the titular goldfinch: it's this small yellow bird with black wings and a black forehead. Must be beautiful with its noble look." Your free hand longingly traced the bird on the cover as you spoke. "I'd love to see one someday, even in someone's dream."

The next few hours Morpheus and you had spent in silence as you were reading the book and he seemed to be thinking about something. It was a comfortable silence: one that falls between people who know each other a little too well to always be talking about something; after aeons spent together, there was hardly anything new you could tell each other but it wasn't awkward or upsetting in any way. No, it was a very comforting feeling that one may know someone too well to flood them with their stories and thoughts. After all, to be known is to be loved. Your next day began with an unfamiliar chirping outside the palace walls.

And one day he simply did not come back. He made promises and assurances and for the first time since the dawn of times, the word of the Dream Lord was not kept.

The palace was... silent. But not in the sense of a lack of sounds, no. It was silent of life, as though the moment the Lord of Dreaming had left his realm, all of his creation began slowly dying. You could only hope their fatal condition was not unanimous to Dream's. It was as if in creating his realm, Morpheus placed a part of himself in each particle present in that world. With him gone, that easy-to-overlook and yet entirely essential element had disappeared too. The genius loci of Dreaming didn't simply change in the absence of its master, no, it was completely gone as if vacancy could be a wraith that haunts.

"You have done all you could, Right Honourable," Lucienne assured you. The echo of her voice made the marble halls feel even more empty and abandoned than when they were drowning in dreaded silence. "We can only await our lord's immediate return." In her mind, he was always on his way back, about to reappear the very next moment, despite long decades of his absence.

"'All I could' seems to not be enough, Lucienne."

"We all miss him. You're not alone."

"It's quite the contrary, my dear," you answered without looking at her at first. With Dream's prolonged absence, she was adamant about keeping you company. "Morpheus was someone else to each and every one of us. I can not understand your loneliness and you can not understand mine. We are both lonely in our loneliness, how sad is that?"

Lucienne didn't answer your question but truthfully, you weren't exactly looking for one.

Dream's throne wasn't comfortable to sit on but he wasn't a man chasing comfort. The seat was rigid, prickly and made one overly conscious of their body and how it was contorted. Maybe there was some timeless wisdom in the king's throne being uncomfortable to sit or perhaps Morpheus was a bit of a masochist. Funnily enough, both options seemed equally probable.

"He always hated when I-..." you hung your voice. A heavy sigh left your lips before you corrected yourself. "He hates when I sit here. He tries his best not to show it and pretends he doesn't see but I can tell. And now, when I have to, I dread it. Do you think he feels the same way when he sits on the throne? That he has to watch his breath or else the whole kingdom turns to ashes."

"Our lord Morpheus is a noble ruler. We must have faith in him, Right Honourable."

"That we do," you said quietly under your breath as you sighed. You remained seated on his throne, staring mercilessly at the palace door as if you could will his return into existence.

And one day, a long overdue day, he simply showed up - tired, confused, angry, barely dressed. He refused to talk at first, storming through the palace halls, filled with rage that would put gods of war to shame. Something dark got a hold of him and you couldn't imagine what that meant for Dreaming and you.

After a hundred years of staring at the entrance of the palace, the king had finally returned but not exactly the same as the day he left. There was a strange coldness in his attitude, something he never quite showed towards you or Lucienne. Not wanting to anger him further, you quietly sneaked out of the palace to wait out his labile mood in the gardens. Ever since he disappeared, you watched them only through the windows, never daring to leave the throne room in case Morpheus suddenly returned or a calamity fell on the realm and you were responsible for mending it.

What once had been a terrace garden, now was nothing but a sad remnant of happier days, a monument of longing and heartache. Ivy was completely dry, its red leaves were nowhere to be seen. Brown vines barely engulfed the walls of the palace, threatening to break off and fall with a mere gust of wind. The flowers, too, had forgotten their former glory; shrubbery that had died so long ago that even soil forgot what they once were. The palace haven was once filled with excited chirping, while now none could be heard. Out of the goldfinches Morpheus had made, only one of them was left: an exhausted, emaciated bird that occasionally let out a quiet, sad chirp as if he was still trying to call out to his long-gone brothers.

The sound of heels tapping against the tiled floor made you turn around and finally look away from the ruins that you once called a garden. He seemed to not look at you but rather at the shrubbery behind you - at the dry ivy, dead flowers and the golden bird that refused to fly farther than a meter or two. For a moment you felt invisible as Morpheus walked towards the railing to get a better look at the gardens below. Judging by the slight raise of his eyebrows, you knew it was the first time he was seeing them after his return: he didn't know what ruin awaited in place of flowers and birds.

"What happened to you?" you asked quietly after a moment of silence. You weren't sure yourself whether you meant his sudden coldness or the entire century he was gone. Both had left you worried and unnerved.

"I was imprisoned by an amateur witch," he answered quietly. His voice was filled with contempt. "He managed to steal my tools as well."

Quite unsurprisingly, you didn't know what to tell him. A simple 'I'm sorry' wouldn't cut it when a case of being held captive for a hundred years was considered. "Morpheus, I-" you stuttered.

"While in captivity, I have had a lot of time to think," he continued without letting you interrupt.

"About what?"

"Various matters," he said in a dismissive manner. "Things passed as well as those that are yet to happen. Perhaps even things I wish would become true." You couldn't know it as you were looking at the dead plants but Dream bore his eyes into you as he spoke of his potential wishes.

"Such as?" you coaxed him.

"Although your council has always been wise and dear to me, there was another reason why I followed your advice. To make you happy."

Why in the name of all things holy would the king of Dreaming be concerned with that? You furrowed your eyebrows and quickly turned your head to look at Morpheus who was already staring at you. There was an intimidating intensity in his eyes like he was about to bestow a deeply hidden secret upon you.

"Like this garden." He looked away from you for a moment. Staring at his profile, you saw him slightly push his lips tighter together. "Its only purpose was to cure your unhappiness that tore my heart. It failed its purpose as did I. And this little bird, which occupied your mind as much as... I'd like to."

His confession seemed strange, to say the least. Morpheus wasn't one to talk about his feelings and so whatever knowledge he just shared with you it was of utmost importance as well secrecy.

"Morpheus, I'm afraid I don't entirely understand what you're trying to say." To be exact, you had a burning suspicion as to what he was suggesting but you wanted him to say it out loud - just to make sure it wasn't your yearning imagination bending the edges of reality.

In a gentle manner, he took your hand into his and looked into your eyes. The intensity you had seen in them before had only gotten deeper, rawer. "I had miss you greatly, my Right Honourable. I'm asking you to become my queen if you're willing to have me as your king."

"My king?" you repeated. "It nearly sounds obscene if you put it like that."

The corner of his mouth slightly pulled up. For the first time in a hundred years, the lonely goldfinch chirped happily. Perhaps, its loneliness, just like yours, was about to end.

[bi-bard]

You're the First Glimmer of Hope I've Had in a Long Time - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: You're the First Glimmer of Hope I've Had in a Long Time

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader (use of they/them pronouns for the Reader)

Word Count: 6,194 words

Warning(s): brief violence, descriptions of manipulation, mention of violence/trauma at the hands of the Darkling

Summary: The Winter Fete has arrived. It brings games, excitement, and brilliant performances. None more brilliant than that of the Sun Summoner, who is about to make their public debut.

Author's Note: What? Kyli taking a break from writing challenges to update an OC that she hasn't talked about in ages? Wow.

MORE OF THIS OC HERE!

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Festivals were never a part of (Y/n)'s life in Ketterdam.

No, the city known for being lined with misfortune and grief was never known for putting on grand parties.

That must have been why (Y/n) was so focused on the sight outside their window. Why they couldn't pull their eyes from the carts being pulled in toward the main entrance. Performers of all sorts. Guests being brought to see them.

If the dread wasn't a heavy enough weight in their stomach, the anxiousness from the thought of a crowd watching them surely would be.

(Y/n) had become so focused on the bustling sounds outside that they hadn't noticed the doors opening and Genya walking in.

"Enjoying the festivities," she asked.

(Y/n) tried to hide any shock that may have presented itself. "From through a window, in a room with a locked door."

She hummed. "Come on. We have to get you ready."

There was a huff and some rolled eyes before (Y/n) finally plopped themself in the chair in front of the Tailor.

"You could pretend to be interested in all of this," Genya suggested. "It is all in celebration of you."

"It's not," (Y/n) replied. "It's a celebration of an idea of me. One that I may never well become."

There wasn't a response from the fellow Grisha. Instead, she reached out and touched (Y/n)'s face. There was so much concern etched onto her expression that it almost knocked the wind out of (Y/n). They had been too harsh.

"Sorry," they muttered. Genya wasn't at fault for (Y/n)'s predicament.

"No need," Genya forced a grin before going to sort through her case. "I understand your feelings about this all. Your stay, your gift, men like Kirigan."

"Speaking of...," (Y/n) grumbled. "Is the black necessary?"

"He insisted."

"It just feels like he's putting me on a leash. 'Look at my shiny pet'."

"You wore black before... almost exclusively."

"Of my will. It was different then. Better."

Genya nodded. "Well, I promise to make this feel right. More like you than him."

"Thank you."

It was then that the door to the room opened again. In walked David, the resident Fabrikator, with two gloves in his hands. They were tied together with a blue ribbon.

(Y/n) stood up rather abruptly, ever cautious of new people. Even more cautious of gifts that were coming from a place like the Little Palace.

"The General had me make these for your demonstration," David explained, holding them out. (Y/n) took them, turning them over in their hands.

"They're lovely," Genya complimented.

"What is their purpose," (Y/n) asked.

David grinned, clearly proud of his work. "They'll make it easier to split one beam into two."

"I see," (Y/n) mused. They gently placed the gloves on the nearby table.

David's grin fell as he watched the sun summoner easily turn one beam into two, allowing it to flutter around the space in front of them.

"While I appreciate the offer, I will be quite alright without them."

"Would you not like to try them?"

"Is there a reason that I should when I just showed you that I was perfectly capable of performing on my own?"

David took a breath before clearing his throat and taking the gloves. He walked out of the room again.

Genya's voice stopped him at the door. "See you at the Fete!"

David merely shared a look with her before leaving. A look that lasted far too long for it to be called polite or friendly. It almost made (Y/n) chuckle. How could two people be so blind that they couldn't see that they were sharing such a longing look?

"Come on then," Genya said. "We have to make sure that you're ready."

(Y/n) merely nodded, biting back any knowing look that wanted to form.

The final step of Genya's work was carefully placing a ring on (Y/n)'s finger. She explained that it was a symbol of luck. A personal gift from her. (Y/n) made no effort to argue. Some battles were not worth fighting.

Genya proceeded to drag (Y/n) through the halls of the Little Palace. There was some muttering about the kefta and how lovely it was going to look.

(Y/n) didn't believe her. Not truly. But who were they to crush Genya's spirits more than once in a day?

Instead, (Y/n) kept their attention trained outside, watching what festivities they could through the window.

Their walk was interrupted quite abruptly. (Y/n)'s eyes were dragged from the window to see Kirigan standing there.

"I was just going to find you," he explained. "I was hoping to discuss tonight's event."

(Y/n) took a deep breath, pushing their shoulders back to appear taller. "I was on my way to get ready."

"I will happily discuss the events while we walk to your fitting."

Genya and (Y/n) shared a look. (Y/n)'s was begging Genya to come up with some excuse why they could not go wandering off with the man who kidnapped them. Genya's was quietly pushing (Y/n) to just follow the general and get the conversation over with.

Kirigan motioned down the hall, pushing (Y/n) to walk with him.

As they walked forward, Kirigan fell into step. His hands were behind his back, a smug grin on his face. In his mind, this was the first step toward his goal. His future. A new age that he was prepared to usher in.

"How are you feeling," he asked, maintaining his act of care. Not mere kidnapper, but something close to a friend. It was not having as strong of an effect as he wished that it had.

"Fine," (Y/n) answered simply. Short answers were not unknown between the two of them.

"You decided against the gloves," Kirigan noted.

"I did not come here as a beginner," (Y/n) explained. "I have no need for them."

"They were a mere safeguard anyway," he replied. "In case of nerves."

"Luckily for you, I have learned to perform under pressure," (Y/n) shrugged. "I do not need any of them. Especially not from you."

Kirigan would have much more to say if they hadn't reached (Y/n)'s fitting room.

"Goodbye, Kirigan."

"Good luck, (Y/n)."

The door to the room opened and closed quickly, leaving little time for Kirigan to attempt another conversation.

(Y/n) was immediately pulled in a thousand directions. They knew that rest would not be offered until it was time to be presented before the crowd arriving for the event.

If only they had known about the plan unfolding just under their nose.

If they hadn't been so hidden, then they would have. Kaz's plans had become very familiar to them, as if there were a signature on them. Like an artist would to a painting.

While the dear Sun Summoner was being escorted, poked, tempted, and prepared to be put on show like a cow being taken to market, the Crows were making their moves around the Little Palace.

It all started with the layout of the palace. Kaz sneaking in as a guard and finding the fitting room that had been hidden by a door with no handle. Jesper looking for the perfect escape course for the soon-to-be-reunited group. Inej taking on the role of a performer to make it onto the grounds.

Once that had been done and the quartet had reconvened, it was time to put the proper plan into action. This was not merely collecting information. This was going in and returning with the person that mattered to them.

Kaz, Inej, and Jesper maintained their acts. They knew how to get to the main event and how to find the one that they needed to.

And then, there was the Conductor, who had become a much different part of this than he originally thought that he would be.

He was their distraction. Their hope of pulling the attention of General Kirigan away long enough to get to their dear missing Crow.

Night had fallen.

The Crows were in place.

The Conductor was just approaching the entrance.

And (Y/n) had just been guided to the main hall.

They never realized just how accustomed they had become to hiding in the shadows. How comforting being unknown had become to them.

They stepped into the room, dawning a black kefta with bright gold details. They were met by countless stares, each one more stunned than the next. Every single one of them felt too intrusive. (Y/n) wanted to go back to being hidden. They wanted to go back to being with their Crows.

If only they knew just how close that trio was.

Kirigan stood with a confident smirk on his face. A proud owner. The kefta had been a leash. 'Look at that. It's my new pet. So well-behaved, aren't they?' It made (Y/n)'s stomach churn.

He approached them. "The color suits you."

"When it's of my own choosing."

"Behave," he scolded quietly.

"Don't make it so difficult."

There was a deep breath taken by the general before he offered a hand to them. "Come on. We have a performance to give them."

Kaz and Inej were just stepping into the main hall, each one adorned in the outfit of the guards. Neither one of them truly knew what to expect of that night. But during such unprecedented times, who truly did?

They watched as Kirigan stepped onto the small, lifted platform.

Kaz found his eyes drifting just in front of the stage. He found the back of a black kefta with intricate detailing. He knew who he was watching. He also knew that he could do nothing about that.

Inej stepped away from him, finding a place with a clear view of the stage.

(Y/n) stepped on the stage after Kirigan, stepping behind him so he could look out at the audience surrounding him.

"This is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)," Kirigan announced. "And they will bring liberation to us all."

(Y/n) had to fight any urge to lower their head or close their eyes. They had to fight to not hide from the crowd watching them. They hid that urge well... from the ones who didn't know them.

Kirigan stepped off the stage, taking a few steps forward before bringing his hands together in front of them. The sharp slap was accompanied by quick-moving darkness that consumed the audience. Maybe that was for the best.

(Y/n) lift their hands, moving them until a circle had formed in front of them. Another sphere formed in the other hand. With a deep breath, they casted it forward, forcing the light to consume the dark. It was an explosion, one that left the room speechless.

As the atmosphere settled around them, murmuring started. Small whispers of 'Sankta (Y/n)' filled the room as people began to kneel and touch their foreheads and then their hearts.

(Y/n) dragged their eyes along the crowd.

It was then that someone stuck out. Someone familiar. It was a matter of seconds before they were seemingly gone.

Inej.

(Y/n) would always recognize the Crows. No matter how long it had been or what was going on in the world around them. They would always recognize the Crows.

And if Inej was here, then that meant that (Y/n) may finally be free.

(Y/n) played the role of polite and kind well as they made their way off the stage. They bowed their head and thanked people, trying to make their movements seem less intentional than they were.

Maybe if Kirigan hadn't been pulled away, he would have paid more attention to them.

There was another Grisha whispering in his ear that distracted him.

News of a man reporting to have found the Stag.

In his hand was a letter promising a location in exchange for a meeting with the General. The only reason that he had been trusted was because the only people meant to know of the Stag was the First Army. This man would not arrive with a lie of something he should have no knowledge of.

The man had been guided to a room. Kirigan's chambers, to be specific. He was told to wait there. Kirigan would be there to speak with him soon.

The man- the Conductor- did not heed such warnings.

Again, his role was not what he thought it was. His goal was much different than the three criminals he had brought across the Fold.

They intended to bring home their dear friend. He intended to kill the Sun Summoner before the revolution of West Ravka could be stopped.

He found the hidden room easily. (Y/n) was sitting near a mirror, getting ready for the dinner that was going to occur that night.

He was silent as he stepped forward. He quietly, effortlessly grabbed (Y/n)'s head and pulled it back enough to drag a blade along their throat, leaving them bleeding and gasping for air.

Unbeknownst to him, Kaz knew that this was going to happen.

Just as he knew that the person the Conductor had just killed wasn't the Sun Summoner. It was all merely a trick. One meant to lure in whoever was dumb enough to take the bait.

The Conductor was found outside the fitting room, knife in his hand, and no ounce of regret sitting on his face. He was dragged away to a place where he could be held until the general was able to speak to him.

While the chaos was unfolding, (Y/n) was busy finding whoever they had spotted in the main event.

Escaping the guards was easy enough. Old tricks and techniques got them away for long enough that they were allowed to trace the halls freely. Too many people were focused on the main event to notice them moving.

They just needed to know the truth. They needed to know if this was truly the day that everything was made right.

They had become so fixated on finding whoever they had seen that they weren't paying enough attention to the world around them. Such a failure resulted in a sudden shock when they were grabbed and dragged into another room.

They shoved themself away from the body that had grabbed them to see a guard standing calmly. She had let (Y/n) go quite easily. This was no fight or murder attempt. It was simply an act to save some time in the long run.

"What are you doing," (Y/n) asked.

They looked around the room quickly. It was dark. There was a large round table with figures and maps thrown all around it. There was another room where (Y/n) could just barely see the edge of a mattress. It was someone's chambers, (Y/n) just wasn't sure whose.

"Answer me," they demanded.

"I am merely an aid," the guard replied.

There was the sound of a creaking door being opened. (Y/n) turned around quickly, hands raised to fight off whatever attacker was there.

There was no attacker.

"Baghra," (Y/n) said. "What do you want? Where am I?"

"I'm here to protect you," she explained. "Come on."

(Y/n) didn't flinch.

"You don't know where you are, do you," she tilted her head. "Kirigan could come back at any moment if you wait here."

(Y/n) stepped forward, whispering angrily, "You dragged me into the chambers of the man holding me hostage?"

"If there were any other option, I would have chosen it. Now, come on."

There was a quiet huff before (Y/n) stepped inside the passageway that had been hidden behind some bookcase.

"I am trying to get you out of here," she continued as the pair moved. "Save you from living your life as a slave."

"I don't need your help-"

"Yes, because your precious Crows are here, I know."

(Y/n) stopped abruptly. "They are? Truly?"

"You didn't know?"

"I thought that I was imagining things."

Baghra let out a sigh before continuing to push them along.

"Why help me now? You have had ages to protect me. To get me out."

"I didn't have a way to get you out without being caught. The guards and Aleksander have kept a close eye on you until tonight. Might be something your Crows did."

It was. (Y/n) just didn't know that yet.

"Aleksander intends to use your power to expand the Fold," she continued. "Weaponize it. That's what he created it for in the first place."

"The Black Heretic created the Fold," (Y/n) corrected. "Hundreds of years ago. Kirigan- Aleksander- whoever he is may want to weaponize it, but he didn't create it."

"Is it truly impossible?"

(Y/n) paused. Grisha aged slower than normal humans, that was true. "I thought that the Black Heretic was killed for what he had done."

"Is that what Aleksander told you?"

Another pause. No. (Y/n) had heard that ending to the story somewhere else, hadn't they? They wouldn't have blindly trusted his word if they had never heard about it before, would they?

Most people left out what happened immediately after the creation of the Fold. They usually jump to the impact of it. Where Ravka was now.

Baghra's story was adding up much faster than (Y/n) thought it would.

"Child, Aleksander is the Black Heretic," Baghra said. "He chose a nobleman's name to hide after he had created the Fold. And he made himself a hero."

(Y/n) didn't truly doubt the story, but they needed the confirmation. They stopped walking. "How do you know this?"

"How do you think I know this?"

Baghra waved her hand and darkness began to fill the halls around them.

"You're related," (Y/n) concluded.

"More than a mere relation," she replied.

"You're his mother."

"Yes."

"You're his mother and you have done nothing for centuries?"

Baghra didn't respond, merely staring at the Sun Summoner in silence.

"You were steps away from your son, you knew what he had done, and yet you did nothing to stop it?"

"Do you believe that I have the power to tear down the Fold? To reverse the unimaginable?"

"No," (Y/n) shook their head. "I'm not talking about the Fold. I mean everything that he did after it. Young Grisha, young boys and girls forced to join armies... helpless women forced to play his game. You could have protected them. Stopped him from manipulating them and twisting them and... using them."

"He has had a long time to master the art of manipulating young, naive girls."

"And you have had just as long to master how to stop him from doing so."

"Who exactly do you so desperately want me to protect?" Baghra stepped closer to (Y/n). "You have made no friends here. No connections. Who are you so desperate to help?"

Genya. Of course, it was Genya. The one person that (Y/n) saw every day. She was far too familiar to (Y/n) for them to not feel a desperation to pull the young woman to freedom and peace. Not that Genya would ever follow them. She was stuck too far under Kirigan's thumb.

And Zoya, who had been one of few to look at (Y/n) with some kind of genuine respect. The only one to see beyond the Grisha abilities and see someone clever and talented. She was strong enough to fight back. She probably would have helped Baghra tear down Kirigan's little empire if he hadn't gotten such a firm hold on her.

(Y/n) would never say either of these names. They were still too apprehensive about the woman's intentions to allow her such information.

"It's bold of you to blame me for my son's crimes," Baghra continued. "My son tried to create his own army using merzost. He didn't think about the people who lived there... what such power would do to them. Turned them into the twisted, evil things that attacked you."

"The Volcra."

"Tell me, is that my fault?"

"I never said it was," (Y/n) replied. "I just wish you had taken action before you knew of my existence. I should not be the only thing inspiring you to be better."

Baghra took a deep breath before shaking her head. She walked to a heavy-looking door and pulled it open. "You need to go. Now. Take that path. You must hide. You already almost gave him the Stag, don't give him your power too."

(Y/n) never told Kirigan of the Stag. They had only told Genya. Survival is a powerful motivator.

"Follow the main path until the fork," Baghra advised, not following (Y/n) beyond the entrance. "Turn right. Wait there. There's food there. I have some Grisha that are loyal to me. They'll keep you safe until I can devise a plan. Go."

(Y/n) didn't listen. They followed the main path, but at the fork, they went left. Baghra's interest was one that they didn't want to entertain any more than they had Kirigan's.

Relief didn't cross (Y/n)'s face until they made it to the stables.

After stealing some clothes and narrowly avoiding some guards, (Y/n) stepped out into the main field. The new clothes didn't fit right, but they did what was necessary. All (Y/n) needed was something to last long enough for them to leave.

There was a carriage waiting there. It seemed like an easy enough plan. Steal the carriage or at least a horse and make it out before Kirigan truly knew they were missing.

"(Y/n)."

They froze, ready to fight whoever had spoken. They were met with Jesper standing before them.

They never realized how comforting his face was. Not until the mere sight of him forced a shaky sigh to escape them. The relief that crashed over them at the sight of him, alive and well and here.

"Jesper..."

(Y/n)'s voice was weak. Weaker than Jesper had ever heard it before. But that wasn't what worried him most. What worried him most were the tears sitting in (Y/n)'s eyes, waiting to fall.

He found himself angry. Angrier than ever before. What had they done here? What had these people done to his best friend? And how long was it going to take for him to shoot them all for it?

He decided to hide his seething anger with some light humor, "You doubted that I'd find you?"

Never. That was what (Y/n) wanted to say. They never doubted him or Inej or Kaz. They were simply too overwhelmed to get the words out. Too overwhelmed by anger toward Kirigan and those who had lied to protect him and his plans. Too overwhelmed by relief at the knowledge that it had been Inej standing there in the room of unfamiliar faces.

Instead of speaking, (Y/n) took a few more stumbling steps forward, falling unceremoniously into Jesper's arms, tightly wrapping their arms around his torso. Jesper quietly hushed them as he felt them shaking. He mumbled small words of comfort, but he was certain that none of them had any impact. He just wanted to know that he had tried.

There was a sound somewhere. Some kind of distant crash in the direction that (Y/n) had come from.

"Get in," Jesper dragged them over to a crate on the back of the carriage. They listened to him, curling in on themself so he could get the lid shut and leave them in darkness.

(Y/n) could hear a few faint voices outside, but they were too quiet to recognize. That was okay. Jesper would keep them safe. They believed that.

For the first time in ages, they let their eyes close and their breath even out.

The carriage didn't stop until early morning. (Y/n) only knew due to the small amount of light poking through the small cracks in the wood.

The lid opened and Jesper's face once again took on a form of comfort. He offered a hand to them.

They stood up and carefully climbed out of the box. Inej and Kaz were standing there, Kaz with little to no expression and Inej with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Jesper made sure that (Y/n) was steady on the ground before smiling proudly at the other two.

"Hello," (Y/n) said softly. They decided to try to pull some tension away from the situation. "Took you guys long enough-"

The joke barely left their lips before Inej stepped forward and wrapped them in a tight hug. They hugged her back, eyes screwing shut as they let out a heavy sigh.

"I've missed you," they muttered to her.

Inej stepped back and touched their face. "I missed you too."

"I saw you. At the Fete. You were watching the presentation."

She slowly bowed her head.

"Please don't do that," (Y/n) begged. "I don't want you to see me as anything other than your friend. I am no Saint."

"Ravka would disagree," Kaz's voice chimed in. He had both of his hands clasped on the top of his cane. They were shifting a bit, as if he was physically trying to keep himself from stepping forward and wrapping his arms around (Y/n).

"Hi," (Y/n) grinned at him.

He nodded. "Hi."

There was a long pause as the two of them watched each other. Each one deciding who should make the next move. Each of them deciding what an acceptable next move would be. They had been waiting for the moment when they faced each other again and neither one of them had bothered to consider what they should do when it finally happened.

"Well," Jesper clapped as he finally spoke. "I am starving. Shall we?"

"Find a safe place first," Kaz said. "We can't have (Y/n) walking around in the open. Too much of a risk."

"Fine," Jesper muttered, rolling his eyes.

The quartet found shelter in a rundown house of sorts. One that hid them well but gave them enough room to see if any unwelcomed guests were to join them.

Inej and Jesper went out on a search for food. Kaz insisted on staying with (Y/n). It was for protection... and not at all because of how much time he had lost with them. No, no, that would be a foolish reason.

"I missed you," (Y/n) commented quietly once the two were alone. "I thought of you a lot while I was at the Little Palace."

Kaz stayed quiet. He was scared of saying the wrong thing. Of his emotions taking over and leading him into pouring out every word that he would never be able to say otherwise.

He was scared of telling (Y/n) how much he had missed them.

Of telling them how when he heard that they had gone missing, he thought his heart had stopped. How he had been prepared to cross the Fold on foot if that was what it took to ensure their safety and ensure that they came back to him. How he could have spent a hundred years fighting to get them back and it would have never mattered to him. He would have done it all so effortlessly because a world with a thought of them was better than a world without ever having them.

Of telling them that he kept dreaming of them. Not just after their kidnapping, but before. How he had seen visions of them reconnecting, of the moment he was finally able to be enough for them. He could vividly see the moment that he let them be there, warming him with the energy that twisted around their veins. Let them see him beyond the role of the leader or the boss.

Of telling them how desperately he had been craving them. Their presence and their voice and their gift. Even their touch. Something so unknown to him, terrifying even, yet so tempting. How could you miss something you never experienced?

Kaz didn't know and he was sure that knowing would do him any good.

Instead of taking that risk, Kaz sat quietly.

"You crossed the Fold for me," (Y/n) commented after a while. He raised an eyebrow at them. "Why? Surely there are other people who can perform sleight of hand in the Barrel. You could have left me. Allowed me to stay stuck with Kirigan. Probably would have been less expensive that way."

Because I needed you, he thought, but his tongue put a stop to those words before they could consider escaping, "Inej and Jesper convinced me."

"That's it then," (Y/n) asked. "That's the only reason?"

"What other reason would there be?"

(Y/n) took a deep breath. "I don't know."

Before either one of them could continue the ever-so-riveting conversation, Inej and Jesper found their way back to them.

The four of them ate quietly for a few minutes before (Y/n) asked about how they crossed the Fold. It was a story that Jesper was all too excited to tell.

He spoke of the Conductor and the train through the Fold. Of Milo the goat and the fate that became of him. (Y/n) grinned as they listened. They had missed Jesper's rambling so much more than they realized. It was calming to listen to him rant and rave about the things that had upset him or merely distracted him. It was familiar. (Y/n) needed familiar.

"And then, there was this drunk soldier that almost spilled his drink all over me," he explained. "He was going on and on about needing a crew to go find this mysterious Stag that the general wanted for something."

"The stag?" (Y/n) interrupted. All three of the others looked at them. "You know about the Stag?"

"Kirigan sent out a notice," Inej said. "He wanted it tracked. Sent out a drawing."

"It was the leverage we had to ensure that at least one of us could make it into the Little Palace," Jesper added. "Took us ages to find the thing."

"You found the Stag," (Y/n) asked, looking between the three of them.

"Inej did most of the work," Jesper confessed.

"This is brilliant," they replied, a genuine smile stretching across their face. Oh, how good it felt for it to not be a forced act of politeness.

"What is this Stag," Kaz leaned forward. "Why does the general want it so much?"

"It's... It's an amplifier," (Y/n) explained excitedly. "One of Morozova's creatures. It's... I've been seeing it in my dreams. If I can get to it, I may be powerful enough to take down Kirigan... maybe the whole Fold."

"If it made you that powerful, then why would he want it?" Jesper furrowed his eyebrows.

(Y/n) paused, embarrassed. As if any of this was their fault. "His plan was to use the Stag to make himself powerful enough to use me to expand the Fold. He wanted to use it as a weapon. It's... It's the same reason that he created it. He's the Black Heretic that created the Fold centuries ago. And he was biding his time until he found me. To him, I am a tool. A means to an end."

Inej and Jesper shifted, both of them uneasy about the realization. Kaz's eyes shifted for a moment but that was the only reaction that he allowed to be on display.

"We have to find it before he does. Do you remember where it was?"

"Yes," Inej nodded. "It wouldn't be a short trip."

"We just need to get going as soon as possible then. Who knows how long we have until he finds us here? We don't know how much of a head start we truly have."

Almost as soon as the sun fell, the Crows were ready to move out, hoping to use the shadows as a cover.

They were interrupted by the sound of a carriage outside. All four of them paused. Inej moved to the window.

"It's from the Little Palace."

"Saints," (Y/n) muttered, moving over to join her. "He's brought Grisha."

"What kinds are they," Inej asked.

"That's Zoya... she's a squaller, that one's an Inferni, the one in red is a Heartrender, and the one pushed back into the carriage is David, a Durast."

"We have to split up," Kaz advised. "Much easier to take a Grisha one-on-one than a whole squad of them."

"I could take them all out with a single blow," (Y/n) replied.

"And fall right into Kirigan's hand," he added. "We cannot risk that before you have the amplifier."

"Fine."

"With me," he instructed them. He looked to Inej and Jesper. "Stay safe. Rendezvous at the fountain, understood?"

Both of them nodded.

"Wait," Inej said. She jogged over and handed (Y/n) a knife. "I know you don't need it, but... just in case."

(Y/n) grinned at her. "Good luck."

Kaz and (Y/n) made for the entrance farthest away from where the carriage was. The hope was to have enough time to collect themselves before anyone was able to track them down. Then, they'd be ready for a fight if they needed one.

(Y/n) noticed Zoya following them before Kaz did. As much as they wanted to believe that mutual respect would have some impact on Zoya's actions, they couldn't take that risk.

They reached over and took Kaz's hat, placing it carefully on another man's head.

When there were sounds of people gasping and yelling, (Y/n) led Kaz into an alley as if they were just two more scared faces in the crowd.

Kaz paused, staring out at the street. "You need to go."

"Not without you."

"Not a choice, go."

"Kaz-"

"Go."

"Kaz, no, I'm not abandoning you three-"

"We will find you," he snapped. "Go."

(Y/n) paused, watching him closely for a moment. They hoped that he would realize what he was attempting to do, what he was facing. They had just gotten him back; they didn't want him to get himself killed now. All four of them had gone through too much to go through that now.

"We found you once. We'll do it again," Kaz promised. "Now, go."

(Y/n) finally relented, turning around and making their way down the alley, taking a turn to end up on a different street than Kaz did.

Kaz found the other end of the alley. An empty street. Quiet.

And then, there was a clear shift in the air.

Kirigan stepped out of the darkness. Kaz shifted, planting his feet more firmly on the ground.

"I know you kidnapped my Sun Summoner," Kirigan said as he stepped closer. "And now you're going to tell me where you stashed them."

"They were never yours," Kaz replied simply, still taking steps back from the general. "And we didn't take them. They found their way back."

"Where are they?"

"Don't know. I just know that they didn't feel like being a captive anymore."

There were a thousand things that Kaz wanted to say to Kirigan. Even more things that Kaz wanted to do to hurt him. But he wasn't a fool. He knew better than to enter a fight with someone like Kirigan.

"As far as I know, they could be halfway back to Ketterdam already."

"And the Sun Summoner belongs to you again?"

"(Y/n) never belonged to me."

It was one of the things that drew Kaz to them in the first place. This fierce independence that was only overcome by a desire to protect the people they cared for. Kaz never realized how much he admired it.

"Unlike you, I never needed to hold them captive for them to listen to me."

Kirigan stepped forward again. Shadows began to creep up behind him.

Kaz reached into his bag and pulled out a smoke bomb. He held it tight in his hand.

"You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."

As Kirigan threw the cut at Kaz, the smoke bomb hit the ground.

What was left was a broken barrel, a few pieces of the wall knocked loose, and no sign of the Crow anywhere to be seen. Kirigan let out a quiet grumble as he stormed off.

Kaz continued his path down a new alley, trying to find some way to Jesper and Inej before they could all go find (Y/n).

As Kaz was making his daring escape, (Y/n) was making it out of the city. They were heading for the forest nearby, desperate to have some kind of cover. They needed to be away from the crowds. There was less of a chance of them being ratted out and if they were found, the Grisha were less likely to hurt any civilians if they were in the woods.

(Y/n) had no way of truly knowing what was going to happen. They wanted to believe that it would all work out, but they were never foolish enough to hold onto that much hope.

Regardless of whatever future may unfold, (Y/n) knew one thing: they had come too far for this to be the last time they see the Crows.

So, as they made it into the forest and found a safe and hidden spot to make camp, they pulled out the sharp blade that Inej had offered them.

In a tree, they carefully carved a message. A message that served two meanings. One was to tell the Crows exactly where they were without telling anyone else. The other was to be a reminder to all of them about how important it was for them to make it out of this together.

N.M.N.F

No mourners, no funerals.

----------------------

Author's Note: That title could relate to three different things in this story. Just so y'all know.

Also, I was very aware of the fact that I would get my ass kicked if I didn't feature Kaz and Kirigan meeting.

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[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out in Metropolitan magazine: "Another step forward"

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin and Kris Guštin in the autumn/winter 2023 issue of Metropolitan magazine (published 27.10.2023). They talk about their plans for next year (recording in London, touring, and the new album), the way they approach making music, and how they've changed after Eurovision.

Another step forward

The highly successful group Joker Out, consisting of Bojan Cvjetićanin, Kris Guštin, Nace Jordan, Jan Peteh and Jure Maček, is already well-known and warmly received here. The biggest night of their career - sold-out Stožice - is behind them. 12 thousand listeners (including me) gathered in Ljubljana's arena, where we enjoyed hit after hit for two whole hours. Even though they're still young and at a relatively early stage of their journey, Joker Out are already an accepted constant on the Slovenian, and now also international, music scene. They're so omnipresent and so high-profile that it feels like they've been active for decades already, even though we've only really started listening to them. So we are definitely interested to see what else they will get up to in the future.

M: At the end of September, you released your first song in English. Was that foreshadowing for the album?

Bojan: One song on the album is ticked off, and you can expect the whole album next year, around this time.

Kris: After the New Year, we'll start recording it abroad.

Bojan: We've decided to take our time and work through the things that have happened to us so that our feelings can settle down and we can allow ourselves both a creative break and a break from performing. We will start afresh in the new year and go abroad for the first time. We won't approach the new album the same way we did Demoni, where we set ourselves a four-month timeframe to make it; rather, the creative process will last from January until somewhere around mid-summer. We will also probably be in different locations.

M: You said that you were going abroad. Did you mean that in terms of recording, or that you are heading onto their scene? In recent months, you've already stepped onto international stages, where everyone received you with open arms.

Bojan: Yes, in a sense we're already present on the foreign scene, but while recording the album, we will move to London for a few months to create there as well. We have a European tour coming up in March and the first week of April, then we will return to London, and over the summer we'll perform at festivals and return home to our base. After releasing the album at the end of September or in October, we will do another tour or two.

M: You mention London a lot. Have you grown really attached to it?

Bojan: London filled us with inspiration and captivated us the most. It's true that the new song is called Sunny Side of London, but it doesn't actually have any connection to London other than me having to pick a location. The idea was born when we were driving around England in a bus that you sleep in overnight while it's driving from one location to another. When we were driving from Glasgow to London, I woke up in the morning, just happened to open the window, and we were just driving past the Palace of Westminster, which was bathed in sunshine. And that is how the song title came to be! (laughter) But the song is about our fans, our concerts, our connection with the fans - it actually describes the experiences from past concerts.

M: Given that you've spent quite some time in London, do you each have your own favourite corner of it?

Kris: I liked Camden a lot.

Bojan and Kris (in an English accent): Camden town!

Bojan: A part of London that I love a lot is Richmond. It seemed like a fairy tale to me.

M: What kind of response did you get when you released your first song in English?

Kris: To be honest, the response was a lot better than I expected. We weren't afraid, but we did expect some negativity from the Slovenian public who is used to the Slovenian language, but I think that we got good support from the Slovenian and Balkan audiences. It seems that we all understand that this is something that's necessary for wider commercial success abroad, to allow us to build a career there. On the other hand, I also want to say that we didn't force ourselves to make a song in English, it happened completely naturally. As we were working on it, Bojan started singing the lyrics to Sunny Side of London over the music.

Bojan: In the studio, we followed Žare's [Pak, their producer] rule that the language you're drawn to at the start should be the one you finish in. We made a few demos while we were in the studio, Sunny Side of London was the one we liked the most, and I started writing it in English and it stayed that way. We've learned that that's the only way to go, because at some point we had planned to translate our songs from Slovenian to English, but then we saw that there was no point in doing that. When a song is made in one language, it should stay that way. A translation is really just an adaptation of sorts. I think that our listeners could feel that it [SSOL] was an original work.

M: You two are the ones who usually write the lyrics you perform. How about for Sunny Side of London?

Bojan: I wrote the lyrics.

Kris: Bojan wrote the lyrics and we padded it with chords. (laughter)

M: Has your dynamic changed recently, in terms of making music?

Kris: We are changing more and more. Sunny Side of London is actually a good example of how our music-making has evolved. It's true that in the past, Bojči would bring a song to rehearsals, every now and then I would bring one as well, and then we made something from that idea. Now we approach things differently. First we do something with the instruments, you could say that we're 'jamming', then we find some sort of a draft or a moment we all liked, and then we develop our idea based on that, and Bojan has the opportunity to write lyrics for it. Sometimes we have ideas that we can realise later on. For example, Bojan had been thinking about us screaming in a song for a while, but he didn't know how to incorporate that. Well, we found an opportunity to use that. We've got to the point where we feel that it's a natural creative process, and we don't come to rehearsals with a ready-made idea anymore.

M: Would you say that you prefer this way of creating?

Bojan: Actually this natural way is much more freeing, because we are completely carefree in making our musical ideas happen. I am generally a big proponent of the idea that if I can manage to make a song the way I imagined it, I absolutely like that. It results in some slightly different songs as well, but I think that 'jamming' is really healthy for the band.

Kris: It's also true that Bojan has less and less time to write songs at home. It's better to come to rehearsals when we have two days off between tours, because that's where we shatter ourselves with music. That's how we express the feelings that have built up in us during a tour.

Bojan: We can truly refresh our minds and express what we feel. In the week we spent in the studio, we got a lot of top quality material. Completely spontaneously and naturally. I'm not worried about the new album, because we already know that we have some top quality drafts that we keep thinking of and we can't wait to get to them. On the other hand, we still have four months of living in a new environment coming up, which will definitely give us new wings in that regard.

M: So it suits you that you'll be going out of your comfort zone?

Bojan: Absolutely.

Kris: Like you said before - we are present on the international scene, but to truly be present means to be in a cultural centre like London, where alongside music, you can also create a team as well as a strategy going forwards, for how you're going to efficiently break into that market.

M: Given that you already have ideas for the album, I'd like to know if there's a message that you want to include in it?

Bojan: Honestly, no. I believe that we will approach our creative work the same way we've approached it before. If we like it, then it's good. We truly haven't adapted any songs in a way that we thought would work if it didn't work for us. We're lucky to have Žare, who is an excellent "filter". He will also come with us abroad, wherever the road takes us. We remain faithful to our base.

Kris: With the new song, we also started working with Sebastian Krys, a nearly 20-time Grammy winner, in the post-production phase. He also put a lot of himself into this song and I believe that he will give a lot to the new album as well. We have another "filter" who is well-established on the international scene.

M: How do you maintain your unique sound on the music scene?

Bojan: Between playing concerts, creating, and growing up, each member of the band has developed a persona behind his instrument. It's fascinating to see how important the person behind the instrument is. Kris, Jan, Nace and Jure have developed a style of playing that really belongs to them and is a kind of indescribable mark that you can recognise, and it is becoming more and more obvious. My character has also been built, as a singer and a musician standing on stage. When we combine all five of us, we get the Joker Out sound. Just yesterday I was having coffee with Žare and he asked me why people respond so strongly to what we're doing. With many musicians, when you're at their concerts, you feel that they are on the stage and you are under the stage. There's no personal connection. People like that seem very inaccessible. We feel that we have managed to keep a playfulness on stage and a relationship with the audience where each individual feels like they're at their own concert, and everyone else just came along. If we look at the ultra-successful stars, they also make you feel like they're singing only to you at their concerts. If we don't lose that, we're good. If we do lose it, then we're f*****! (laughter)

M: How did your life change after Eurovision?

Bojan: We're suddenly able to have concerts all around Europe, which is truly unbelievable. Next year we might be able to go even further, because we really travel a lot. Suddenly there are a lot of things on the line that we haven't had to deal with until now. We faced two big challenges as a band in a short time. After all, this is a group of people who were used to working in their home environment, and then it suddenly changed. If the dynamic changes in a negative way, there can quickly be friction. I'm glad that we had a few "baptisms by fire" where we had to act as one and build stronger bonds to be able to handle all that. I think that we've grown as a band and as individuals.

Kris: Just the fact that we went on holiday together immediately after Stožice says a lot.

Bojan: Yes, the only holiday we have.

M: You're good!

Bojan: Or stupid. (laughter)

Kris: We did have a week when we were each on our own.

Bojan: But we were sick in that time, so we were forced to be apart. That was when we realised how much we missed each other. We're not a group of coworkers anymore, we spend more time together than with any relative or best friend. I feel like I don't know how to live without these four dudes. (laughter)

M: Do you see music differently after Eurovision?

Bojan: Yes! We never want to play with playback again. At Eurovision, only the vocals are live, which is hard for musicians.

Kris: It was an interesting experience, but I really wouldn't do it again.

Bojan: Can you imagine someone telling you once again that you have to spend half a year just emptily plucking your strings?

Kris: And only one song over and over…

M: Is there a song that you're always excited to perform on stage?

Kris: Most of them, but a good example would be Ona.

Bojan: That's true. Ona is a good example, collectively. Or Tokio?

Kris: Nace is the biggest fan of Tokio, but I think we all vibe to it. (laughter) For me it's Plastika.

Bojan: Oooh, yes! And Ne bi smel.

Kris: Oooh, yes! All the songs from the second album. (laughter) Carpe Diem is nice too. Everyone is waiting for that song!

Bojan: I think Novi val is also a very special, really powerful song. Especially now that we've performed it abroad. You realise how many obstacles we have in our heads that can actually be bridged with one click. And when you see an entire hall of people, who had never even thought of getting to know your language before, holding up a light and singing as if they understand what's happening in the song. It's really fascinating.

-----

We watched Joker Out at the biggest performance of their lives and caught their feelings backstage immediately after the show.

Bojan Cvjetićanin: "I imagined that I'd be feeling a lot in the time after the concert, but honestly, I don’t have a single feeling right now. (laughter) I honestly don't know what's going on." (smile)

Jan Peteh: "I feel as if I've been climbing a hill for a year and now I've come down."

Jure Maček: "I feel like we're going on a tour of these kinds of venues."

Nace Jordan: "No feelings, my head's empty." (laughter)

Kris Guštin: "I've got a feeling we're going to enjoy these next three weeks, as we're going on holiday."

(This blurb is from their post-Stožice press conference; you can watch a part of it with English subs on our channel here: Joker Out First Impressions After Stožice Concert)

[scotianostra]

Ooh, what’s Edinburgh like? Moving there next year hopefully, from Africa, and after a few quick trips I can’t say I’ve gotten too much of a sense of the city :(

I'm kinda biased, but it's a good place, quite small and easy to get around, the main bus serice is Lothian Buses, for a flat fare of £2 you can get from ato b on one bus, for £5 cash you can hop on and off, the best value is paying by debit card , what they call TapTapCap from as little as £4.80 per day and £22 per week, so if you are one 3 or more buses in one day it caps at £4.80, and £22 is the most you will pay fr a week. The bus service is very good and I use their bustracker, find it on Google Play "My Bus Edinburgh" The vast majority of Museums and Art Galleries are free, only charges tend to be if there are special exhibitions, like The National Museum of Scotland had a Doctor Who exhibition last year. There are two main train stations, Waverley and Haymarket, and several small ones and stops.

Most people don't realise that Edinburgh and the surrounding areas have some great beaches, Portobello is the best in the city, ad has plenty of places to eat and drink at there. Cramond Beachis a mecca for dog walkers, there is a Causeway there where you can explore Cramond Island, just watch the tide times. There are plenty of parks and green spaces, the city is officially the greenest city in the UK, with almost half the city (49.2%) being classed as 'green space'.

If you are relatively fit there are plenty hills to climb to get great views, some are very easy, Calton Hill, Corstorphine to name but two. Arthur's Seat offers different routes to the summit of varying difficulty, but you can actually drive so far up and just make the easy climb to the top, there are three man made "Lochs" around Arthur's Seat, if you're lucky you will see Otters at Dunsapie, Duddingston and St Margarets have plenty swas and ducks. For more serious walkers the Pentland Hills are a great place to explore, there is even a herd of oor Highland "Hairy Coos" up there. If you can ski, there is a dryslope on The Pentlands, the longest in the UK.

Pubs and clubs are a plenty, I have no idea of your age as you have decided to remain anon, but many places cater for students, prices vary, I pay between £2 and £4 for my drinks, although the touristy places will charge you up to twice this amount, over £6 for a drink is not unusual.

Of course we have the Festival, well there are several throughout the year, Edinburgh gets the tag of Festival City at times. The main one is in August and the population of Edinburgh is said to double in the time, licensed premises are automatically given an extension to their opening hours, some open to 5 in the morning.

It's a safe city  with a low crime rate, but as with other places you have to be aware of your own safety. If you plan on taking in the paid attractions The Castle wil set you back about £20, as will The Palace of Holyrood House. Opposite the Palace is The Scottish Parliament, you can visit thisfor free and sit in while it is in session. If you are planning on venturing around Scotland and like your history I recommend a membership of Historic Scotland, again I don't know your age, but prices start at under £3 a month and are less than a fiver for adults over 24. National Trust of Scotland also offer meberships from £3.35 to £5.80.

Can't really think of much more to put for now, perhaps my followers can make suggestions, or ask questions?

Oh and pack your umbrella get a waterproof jacket, even in summer we can get some heavy showers, naturally you will be aware it can get cold as well, invest in a decent winter jacket and layers to keep warm.

I hope this has been helpful.

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg <3

Rules To Break

Jotun!Prince!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Æsir!Princess!Reader

Summary: Prince Loki of Jotunheim - son of King Laufey and heir to the throne is assigned to train a bunch of Asgardian men, in order to turn them into warriors. What happens when Odin's daughter, Princess Y/N crosses his paths in ways he would've never expected? While the Prince is completely unaware, the Princess struggles to keep up her several masquerades...

Warnings for this Chapter: uhhh... royal things?

Word Count: 2,2k

a/n: I promised you guys and well... It's finally here! 😁 The first chapter of the prequel to 'By the Fireplace'! 🥳 This is basically about the back story of Loki and Y/N. How they met and so on, you know. I hope you are going to like it! ☺️

I split the story up into five parts, so... There's a whole lotta more to come!

Divider by the lovely @fictive-sl0th &lt;3

Tagging: @lulubelle814 @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @eleniblue @muddyorbs @loz-3 @vbecker10 @jennyggggrrr @lokisninerealms @mochie85 @chantsdemarins @peaches1958 @multifandom-worlds @fictive-sl0th @loki-laufeyson-1054 @theaudacitytowrite @lovingchoices14 @simping-for-marvel @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vanilla-daydreaming @lou12346789 @kimanne723 @linaax @coldnique @lady-rose-moon @evelyn-kingsley @the-princess-of-loki @acefeather2002 @aagn360 @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @kikster606 @somewiseguy @huntress-artemiss @lunarnights95 @fire-treasure-iii

Ice Flower AU Masterlist ❄ Masterlist

Chapter Two

Chapter One

The High Council of Asgard – decades before Loki's reign

"It is decided then?" Asked the Allfather his ally and good friend - King Laufey of Jotunheim, who sat across the golden table in the council room. The Frost Giant nodded, lifting his goblet of mead as a sign for his approval. "It is decided. As soon as I am back home, I am going to set everything into motion and send you my son as soon as possible." Odin lifted his goblet as well and gave the Jotun king a nod. "Here's to our alliance." "Here's to our alliance."

"Skane, go get my son. I need to talk to him." Laufey told his advisor as soon as he walked through the big, heavy doors of the palace. "Yes, your majesty." Skane bowed to him and left his side immediately, in order to execute his king's order.

The prince wasn't very difficult to find these days. He'd be either in his chambers, the library or the training grounds. Today, Skane found the prince in the library, nose buried in a book. "My prince? Apologies for the disturbance, but your father is back and he wishes to see you immediately." With a slightly annoyed huff, the young prince closed his book. When his father called for him, it was wise to not let him wait. It was a lesson he had learned quite fast and early in his life. So, the heir to the throne followed his father's advisor without complaining. "Do you know what he wishes to talk about with me?" Skane shook his head. "Unfortunately not, my prince, no." The two men made the rest of the way to the throne room in silence. The heavy stone doors swung open with a thud, revealing King Laufey, who was seated upon his throne. "Father! You're back! I hope you had a pleasant return trip. How did the council meetings go?" The prince asked in a rather cheerful voice, knowing that the king likes to be welcomed back duly. "Just fine, son. We need to talk." Laufey said, standing up. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?" Loki took a small bow. "As you wish father."

King and prince went on a walk through the barren and bleak royal gardens then. Not a single flower was blooming in the beds. Well, Jotunheim had just gone through a very rough and cold winter. But spring was definitely approaching. The small buds on the trees were the proof. Soon, the cold realm would shine in all its magical glory. "What were you up to when I was away, son?" The prince shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, you know father... The usual. Reading, training, a bit of hunting..." Loki didn't dare to mention, that he plagued the one or other royal staff member with his pranks. He was a grown man, but sometimes he liked to act like a younger version of himself. Praying to the Norns his father wouldn't get whiff of it. "Sounds auspicious." Loki gave his father a nod, before asking again: "What is it you want to talk about?" Laufey took a breath. "The Allfather asked me for a favour..." His father's words caused Loki's expression to darken. He suddenly had a very bad feeling – and a guess. "Father, is this once again about me getting married? If so, I told you that I do not wish to get married now. I don't want to-" "It is not." Laufey interrupted his son's rant. "Even if I'd be more than just pleased, when you'd finally find a woman. It is long overdue. When I was your age, your mother was already pregnant with you. Our people are expecting this. They wish to see their future king finding his queen and provide an heir to the throne." The young prince rolled secretly his eyes, hearing this for the thousandth time. Oh how often he had this conversation with his father already. How often did they end up in a fight because of this… So, Loki tried to swallow his anger and pride. "I know, father, I know. I will get to it, I promise. I'm going to give the people what they want. Just not now." Laufey sighed, knowing that he had lost - like so often. What more could he do than telling his son over and over again?

"What is the favour the Allfather asked you to do then?" "Well… Strictly speaking, he is asking you." The raven-haired Jotun stopped in his tracks, quite surprised. "Me??" The king stopped in his movements as well, facing his son. "Yes. He needs a good warrior to train meticulously chosen Æsir. Someone who can turn them into soldiers within a month." Loki frowned. "What of prince Thor? He is a great warrior." "The crown prince is detained; currently stuck on Muspelheim for royal duties. If prince Thor's conversations with Surtur are not fruitful..." Loki quickly connected the dots. "Odin wants to be prepared." Laufey nodded. "Exactly." "But... Why me? There are great warriors on Asgard." The king placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Because he wants the best."

That was how Loki, son of Laufey, crown prince of Jotunheim landed on Asgard a mere week later - ready and prepared to train a handful of amateurs. Men, who didn't even yield a weapon before. But the Allfather didn't ask Loki for nothing. If someone could handle this, it was him. Odin and Laufey were sure of it.

"A royal… warrior academy?" You asked your father, who sat across from you on the dining table. "Yes, my dear. In case your brother's attempts of negotiation fail, we have to be prepared - and given the fact that we don't have enough warriors, we need to train more men." "Why only men, father? What if there are women who'd like to become a warriors as well?" You spoke in a demanding voice, crossing your arms. "Because only men become warriors. You, of all, should know that, daughter." "What of Sif? Isn't she a warrior, too?" "Sif is an exception. The only exception." You felt how the anger started to rise within you. "What if I wanted to become a warrior, instead of a princess?" Your father scoffed, already hating where this conversation was going. "I am not discussing this with you again, Y/N. We've talked about this. Several times. I won't allow my only daughter to spend her days on the training grounds. You have other duties to tend to! Find a husband for example!" You looked away, gritting your teeth. You hated it. Just because you were a woman and highly interested in learning how to fight properly, didn't mean you'd neglect your duties as a princess. And yes. Sometimes you rather wished to be warrior and not a princess. But who were you to choose? You had no other choice than to accept the place you were in - like your father so often told you. But what if... An idea suddenly crossed your mind. Hiding the smile on your face, you told your father what he wanted to hear. "I beg you pardon, father. You are right, of course."

"You are planning to do what?!" Estrid - your personal maid turned best friend asked with wide, frightened eyes. The young woman shook her head. "Y-Your highness, that is... foolish and risky a-and-" You grabbed the girl's shaking shoulders, causing her eyes to fixate on you. "I know, Estrid, I know. But I have to do it. It's probably the only chance I will ever get in my whole life. Father is never going to let me on the training grounds and I can't always sneak into the old armoury to train. It's my dream, Estrid." Your friend sighed, again shaking her head. "I know, Y/N, but it's dangerous." You nodded. "It is. That's why I need you to maintain my cover. Can you do that for me? Please?" She swallowed, thoughts running at lightning speed through her brain. "I know I ask a lot from you, but please. You are my best friend. I trust you." A moment of silence passed, before Estrid started to nod, giving in. "Alright. Alright... I'll do it." A relieved breath left your lips. "Oh thank the Norns!" You lunged forward then, hugging the blonde-haired woman. "Thank you so much." Estrid offered you a nervous smile, nodding. "Don't worry. We are going to make this." Again a nod. "Do you even know who is going to lead the training?" You swallowed hard. "Yes. Prince Loki of Jotunheim." Once again the maid's eyes widened. "Prince Loki of Jotunheim? I heard he is a very cold, harsh man... And his father is a very good friend of the king. Y/N, this is really risky. You can only hope that he won't look through your charade... If he does, you are in big trouble..." "He won't, Estrid. He won't." "I hope so..." The woman stated, taking a short break before continuing. "Have you ever met prince Loki?" "Personally? No. I have seen him once, but that was ages ago. Thor sees him way more often, given the fact that he's the future king. Plus, they are kind of friends, so..." A cheeky smile darted over Estrid's face at your words. "He may be a cold and brutal Frost Giant, but I also heard that he is a very handsome man and an even greater lover. Hopefully you won't get distracted on your mission." You scoffed, shaking your head appalled. "Certainly not, Estrid. No man or prince will be able to distract me. Don't you worry."

Little did you know, that you were going to eat your words just a few days later...

"How do I look?" You asked Estrid as you stood in front of the full-length mirror in your chambers, eying your good work. The young maid stood beside you, mouth formed to a perfect 'o'. "You look... amazing, your highness..." She was visibly and audibly stunned. You were surprised, too. You didn't know that you were able to turn your appearance into a man that easily. You wore a traditional Asgardian tunic - male tunic. One that hid the curves which indicated you were a woman. You had cut your own hair quite a bit, turning it into a man bun. All your female features were mostly gone. It was breath-taking. "Yes, I do. It's almost terrifying." "Now you need to just work on a deeper voice and a more manly walk." You turned to meet Estrid. "By the Norns, you're right! I-I mean..." You cleared your throat and tried to lower your voice as deep as possible. "By the Norns, you're right!" Estrid broke out in giggles. "Not good?" "No, no, no, I mean... It's good, Y/N! It's perfect. All you have to do is work on your walk, but the rest... If you can keep that up, no one's going to notice it." "Let's hope then I can keep it up." Estrid nodded. "And now let's go. Unless you'll be late." You grabbed your things and sneaked with your friend through the secret passageway only you, Thor, Estrid and the Warriors Three knew of, out of the palace. "You know what to do?" "I know what to do. Don't worry, my princess." With a last goodbye and a hug, you swung yourself onto your horse (which Estrid had kindly prepared for you earlier) and rode off. Your parents thought you went on a 'learning journey' through Asgard, getting to know different plants and animals... Advanced training, so to speak. Estrid had the task to maintain the cover for you.

The training camp was on the outskirts of the city. It was about an hour ride away from the palace. You had managed to sneak into your father's office and write a fake name on the list, so you'd be surely awaited. And indeed... Two guards were standing in front of the big wooden doors. The piece of land was fenced by high, thick walls. You took a deep breath, as you neared the doors. This was your dream, wasn't it? All you ever wished for. Why were you so nervous now? Your horse came to an halt in front of the guards and you dismounted the horse, before you took a small bow to the guards. "I'm here for the royal training, in order to serve the king and Asgard." You spoke in your deepest voice possibly, hoping that the guards would buy it. They did. "Name?" One of them asked, eyes fixated on a list. "Váli Ákison." The guard's eyes roamed over the list, before he nodded. "Open the door." The door got opened for you, causing you to swing back onto your horse and ride inside the camp. Your eyes widened at the sight before you. There we a lot of beautifully crafted tents, alongside a big fireplace. Men were bustling around everywhere. Some of them in tunics like you. Some of them already dressed in traditional Asgardian armour and a few of them, which you recognised as palace guards. Excitement spread through your whole body.

After you were handed your armour and assigned a tent, you retreated into said tent to change. You were ready. More than ready for this.

[florence-end]

Hi! About the fluff story maybe you could write a one where the reader faints because of heat and Helion takes care of her? Thank you!

Summer loving

Helion x reader

Warnings: none

Summary: You decide to accompany your mate to the Summer Court to build diplomatic relations with their new high lord, but perhaps you should have stuck to your roots.

“Well those are all my favourite spots in the city, I hope you enjoyed the tour! I apologise for keeping you out in the sun all day but the rebuild has been such a chore and I’m so proud of the work my people have done that I simply have to show it off to all who visit,” gushed Tarquin as you reached the bottom of the stone steps that lead back up to his palace by the water.

“No apologies necessary my friend, we are no strangers to the sun back home in the Day Court,” responded Helion, idly stroking a hand along your back. You hoped your dress was flowy enough that your mate couldn’t feel quite how sweaty your skin was beneath your clothes.

You see, Helion was correct that members of the Day Court were very used to the shining sun and would have no issue with the blistering heat of Adriata.

You, however, grew up in the Winter Court, used to frost and snowball fights and ice skating on the frozen lakes. The climate surrounding your new home with Helion was tolerable as the spell cleaver kept a fresh breeze rustling around the grounds and you always made sure to avoid being outside during the middle of the day. The stifling humidity of the Summer Court was an entirely different beast.

“I will leave you here to return to your accommodations, I have a meeting with the fishermen down by the docks. Please make yourselves at home and I will see you for dinner this evening,” Tarquin bade his farewell and disappeared into the crowds of the city once more.

“Come darling, let’s go back up to the palace, you must be warm,” your mate said, moving towards the steps.

You were barely 20 steps into your ascent when your vision began to tunnel. You felt a cold sweat break out on your forehead and gasped for breath as you lost feeling in your arms and legs. Thank goodness for your mate’s quick reflexes as he immediately swooped to take your weight.

“Varian! Cresseida!” Helion yelled as he sprinted up the remaining stairs with you in his arms.

The Summer Court inner circle met you both at the top, looking increasingly concerned as they took in your sickly appearance.

“It’ll be the heat, quickly get her to your rooms where it’s cooler,” Varian declared.

Helion wasted no time winnowing you straight to the bedroom that had been allocated to you both for the duration of your stay. You began to come round almost immediately now that you were out of the direct sunlight.

“Are you feeling cooler my sweet? You gave me quite the scare,” Helion spoke quietly as he rested you on the bed.

“Much better now I’m inside, thank you. Although perhaps our next Court visit could be to somewhere a little less tropical,” you joked. “Could you run me a cool bath please my love?”

As you returned to your usual complexion, Helion relaxed back to usual self. “I think you mean could I run us a bath. And the answer to that is always yes,” he winked and disappeared into the bathing room.

Thank you for the request!

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

hello i’m back from the dead (sleeping) and it’s time to talk about

why Cullen won’t let anyone fix the hole in his ceiling 💖

someone has probably said this before but it wasn’t me, so here we go!

so remember that Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath grew up with three siblings, who he describes as being “very loud.” i see him as always being a very disciplined child, kind and warm and willing to let Mia take charge (because fighting her for it would have been useless), but a steadfast follower with a keen sense of justice and fairness, willing to voice his objections when he had any, and very fastidious about not breaking rules when Mia or Branson tried to stir up trouble. you know, that whole second child archetype. he was prone to a bit of escapism, running off to that pier on some lake which is definitely not in Crestwood, which tells us he likes having somewhere to escape to, somewhere to run if he gets overwhelmed.

skipping forward a bit, when he lived in Kirkwall, he had quite a bit of freedom to come and go physically, but to me at least it seems like he felt trapped by his duties under Meredith. he explicitly describes her keeping things from him, things she thought he’d disagree with as her second in command. he felt lied to, deceived, manipulated by her (bc he was), i think, even before the events at the end of DA2 that expose her for what she is. can you imagine that feeling? like he actually wants to do good, to treat the mages fairly and help keep them and everyone else safe (that’s why he signed up, after all), but he’s got this nasty, evil commanding officer who’s whispering in his ear, twisting all that good intention to do her malicious bidding. it must have felt like beating his head against a brick wall, like no matter what he did, his sincere desire to believe that other people are fundamentally good disappointed him. i always say that Meredith gave Cullen just enough rope to hang himself with.

jumping forward again, let’s talk about the Winter Palace. Cullen is very obviously uncomfortable there, and it makes sense why: he can’t leave, not without being extraordinarily rude, can’t get away from the people bothering and sexually harassing him, can’t get out of that jacket that is too damn tight. if you bring Cole with you, at one point in his ‘Investigate’ tree he comments that, “Cullen is afraid. They’re hurting him, following fear. He shouldn’t be here.”

all of this is just to illustrate: man’s got a Thing about feeling trapped, stuck, unable to fight back or defend himself or just flat out leave. and why does he have such a hard time with this?

because of that one time that Uldred blew up the Circle at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden. for reasons we don’t fully grasp, rather than being claimed by the demons or simply killed in the fighting, Cullen held out. he resisted demonic possession completely, somehow, and was instead trapped within that magical prison with no possibility of escape, probably for weeks. no escape from his hunger, thirst, or lyrium withdrawal, and no escape from the (probably Desire) demon(s) that tortured him with freedom if he’d only give in to those things he won’t quite allow himself to want.

so the fact that there’s a hole in his ceiling, even months into the repairs at Skyhold, when almost everything else has been fixed but a few, hard-to-access bits of masonry, is not lost on me. and sure, you could always blame it on lighting for the romance scene that takes place up there. but i like to think that it’s there because Cullen refuses to let them fix it. here’s why:

Cullen doesn’t like to stray far from his post. he likes that there’s a loft with a bed where he can pretend to sleep that’s not far from his desk, where he commands the lives of thousands of people. (i think at one point in Absolution, it’s revealed that at its height, the Inquisition was composed of ~10,000 troops, plus all the necessary support personnel.) the fate of the world is quite literally depending on his ability to do his job, and when the lyrium withdrawals make him feel like he must be losing his mind, he likes that he’s got an easy choice between resting (like he knows he probably should) or working (like he knows he really needs to), separated only by a little wooden ladder and a few planks that make up the floor.

he needs that little hole in the ceiling. if ever something happened at Skyhold, and it wasn’t safe or possible to leave through the three fucking doors on the lower level, he needs a back up plan, a way to get out from the top of that tower, or he’s every bit as trapped as he was at the Winter Palace, or by Meredith, or by Uldred and his demons, and he can’t be, not here, not with so many lives in his hands. not after Haven.

he needs it when he wakes up shouting, drenched in sweat, from another nightmare where he’s back there, trapped with demons who’ve murdered or enslaved your brothers and sisters and are trying to break you next, or pinned under Meredith’s thumb, doing things that he knows are wrong, he knows, but she’s his commanding officer and he trusts her, so how wrong can they really be? he needs it, first thing when he opens his eyes, to know he’s got an escape route, a backup plan. he’s safe.

and when he finally gives in to temptation, that thing he wants more than anything that he really shouldn’t let himself want, when the Inquisitor confesses that she wants to be with him when this is all over and he very dramatically sweeps aside everything on his desk, his whole life, shattering it all over the floor, he needs that little patch of sky to remind him it’s real. he’s free to leave whenever he needs to.

and that’s what allows him to stay.