#and whatever that Thing was did not want to fuckign die he kept coming back

[wizardnuke]

i do have to say i think that the house of hope run is my favorite part of the whole game

[fictionkinfessions]

Finished Windblume!! (so SPOILERS for anyone who hasnt finished it yet)

And wow!

FUCK RHINEDOTTIR!

MA'AM YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND ALBEDO'S THE ONLY CHILD YOU MADE THAT "SURVIVED."

YOU DONT GET TO TRY AND ACT LIKE EVERYONE BEFORE HIM DIED. LIKE THE REST OF US WERE SOME WEIRD HOMONCULI EQUIVALENT TO A MISCARIAGE.

YOU FUCKING THREW. ME. AWAY. OF YOUR OWN VOLITION! YOU FED ME TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING DRAGON. WHILE I WAS ALIVE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS. AND JUST HOPED I'D DIE AND NEVER TURN UP AGAIN. WHY? SO YOU COULD CONCEAL YOUR LIES???

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER! YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY IT SEEMS ALICE DIDNT FUCKIGN KNOW WHAT YOU DID BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM HER EVER BEING OKAY WITH YOU THROWING OUT A LIVING BREATHING BABY. (even if I dont remember us ever being children, the event visuals clearly show we WERE infants at one time within canon.)

IM SO FUCKING MAD! IM PISSED! THAT THIS WOMAN IS GOING AROUND ACTING LIKE ALBEDO'S HER LITTLE MIRACLE CHILD AND SHES SO LUCKY TO HAVE THIS ONE LITTLE THING WHEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD AT LEAST TWO! WHO FUCKING KNOWS HOW MANY LIVING BABIES RHINE THREW OUT BEFORE ME IN CANON.

I'm not looking forward to how the fandoms gonna pretend she didnt say this! Or at least not fucking recognize what shes implying!

Bitch you dont get to PRETEND I NEVER EXISTED! Or that you didnt THROW ME OUT LIKE TRASH BECAUSE I WASNT "GOOD ENOUGH" FOR YOU! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER THROWS OUT HER CHILD FOR THAT REASON? I WASNT CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT? WHAT MADE ALBEDO DIFFERENT? HE'S NOT PERFECT EITHER BUT YOU FUCKING KEPT HIM! WAS DURIN JUST FULL THAT NIGHT? CANT FEED HIM TWO BABIES?

GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATED YOU BEFORE BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT THINK CANON WOULD MAKE YOU THIS BAD! I THOUGHT MY OWN TIMELINE WOULD BE WORSE, BUT NO. CANON IS!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! THE OTHER MAGES SHOULD HATE YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A MOTHER. YOU DONT DESERVE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHATEVER MISERABLE FATE IS COMING FOR YOU. DEATH ISNT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO ATONE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE DONE AND THE LIES YOU'RE SPEWING. Luckly Celestia already made sure death isnt a fucking option for you. I'd say you're the only Khaenri'ahn that fucking deserves it.

GOD I fucking HOPE I HOPE I come back in the future. I hope that I turn up and everyone sees how much of a shit person you fucking are, Rhinedottir. Albedo seems to know at least! I want Alice to know! You're closest friend! I want her view of you to shatter so hard she'll hunt you down herself! Because there is NO FUCKING WAY She'd ever be okay with this! Not with how quickly she'll jump to adopting anyone in need of a good mother! Because CELESTIA KNOWS YOU'RE NOT ONE. I hope that if you EVER get a chance to apologize in canon, you'll take it. And nobody around will accept it, even if it's straight to me. Because you don't deserve forgiveness. I want you to lose everything. And it still wont be good enough.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope you're fucking miserable in this life if you're out there because you don't deserve SHIT and Karma's a fucking BITCH.

~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟ Who genuinely didn't think his hatred of Rhinedottir could get WORSE but has been proven oh so very wrong.

🫘

[mixedsnape]

I'm illiterate and just listened to the audio books so i probably missed it but what did dumbledore do please rant to your heart's content

sklfjfdk i accidenyl exited the page so now i gotta rewrite everything, theres probrably more, but its late.

left harry alone on the doorstep of relatives he doesnt fucking know int he muddle of the night, as an infant, without consulting anyone and against the wishes of another proffessor.

i will reiterate, did no legal checks, barely a background check (which he then disregards) and then doesnt fucking check on the kid again for 11 years.

had arabella figg spy on harry meaning either he knew how harry was being treated adn ignored it or arabella was an unreliable spy which he would have known

the special boy can play dlying murder soccer at 11 no problem, but you need parent permission to go tot he little village apparently

would have know sirius was innocent or at leave could have gotten him a fair trial because fukcing everyone got a trial, bellatrix got a trial, wha tt he fuck

keeps information from harry to get him to do what he wants basically, straight up said that eventually he was keeping shit from him because he accidently started caring about him meaning he said Whoops my

everything to do with the philosophers stone, if we ignore the fact that he was basically baiting harry into there, he still placed a dangeorus artefact surounded by dangerous traps to lure a dangerous man into a school full of children who, as we see, could easily get past them (or, yknow, fucking die like the trio almost did)

similarly, set the mirror of erised there, knowing anyone could come across it when its been known to drive people mad

kept the school open with a fucking bassilisk on the loose, what the fuck, he was alive and teaching the last time that happened, he was there for moaning myrtles death

locked sirius, yknow the abuse victim with the 12 years of trauma, in the house he was uuuuuh abuse in? like, there were other places he could have none, literally any black property, out of the country, any other house that could be hidden, literally.

allowed hagrid to teach, like i like hagrid hes cool but he literally can not be trusted to run a classroon, he brought a fuckign illegal dragon into the school

allowed teachers to dole out bullshit punishments includign sending 11 year olds into the forbidden forest at night, locking a 13 year old out of the dorms while a mass murderer is on the loose and doing  nothing (presumably) about a grown man trasnfiguring a child into a ferret

no, seriously, letting 11 year olds wander around the murder forest int he dead of night searching for whatevers MURDERING THE FUKCING UNICORNS

is so clearly biased towards gryfindors, its wild

continued to send abused students back to their homes, no matter how much they begged to stay at hogwarts

treated 11 year old abuse victim grew up in london during ww2 tom riddle like a fucking evil mastermind from the first time they met instead of like, getting the kid therapy.

high key, even if he didn’t trust tom riddle, letting him teach at hogwarts would have given him a way to directly supervise him at all times!

*gestures towards lockhart*

*gestures towards grindlewald*

*gestures towards the dementors*

shld have snapped the elder wand in half, but thats just a pet peeve

allowed remus to teach without insuring he would be taking his wolfsbane and having no safely measures in place for when he didnt, putting the whole school in danger

in my opinion, his ignoring and avoiding harry during 5th year and not fucking helping him or telling him shit directly led to harry and co storming the ministry, going right into a trap and sirius fucking dying.

did jack shit about hte marauders almost bullying, sexually assulting adn almost killing severus, and who knows who else they treated like that, and continued to downplay their abuse until he fuckign died.

prepared no one for his fuckign deaht, wow

groomed harry, a child, to die, as a child, with no knowledge as to why he had to sacrafice his life until the very last moment. lets be honest, the final battle could have happpened at any age for harry and dumbledore would have let him fucking die.

had the same general low regard fro muggles as teh rest of the wizarding world

employed filch, the functionally disabled squib, to be the glorified janitor of a magic school.

did nothing to help harry during the triwizard tournament thing which is pretty fucking wack considering he was 14 and completely unprepared.

doesnt tell harry jack shit. doesnt tell anyone ajck shit.

in general acts like an abusive father figure who does whatever the fuck he wants no matter how much it hirts others because its For The Greater Good. no im not projecting, shut up.

also heres a long as reddit thing about why dumbledore sucks that i have been recomended but havent read through

[thaliatimsh]

if its alright! wrt the 'directors commentary' asks, honestly anything /Anything/ for 'imperfect life', oof :0

ONE DVD COMMENTARY TRACK COMING UP BECAUSE HELL YES you may ask me about this one. GOD I HOPE THIS READ MORE WORKS OR I’M GONNA DIE OF SHAME. For those of you who’ve missed my pleas: imperfect life is on AO3 here. read it or i cry.

Okay I reblogged that post with not much of an idea about what I’d actually have to say but imperfect life is at least at the forefront of my mind lol

First things first I’d had an idea for a fic about Hodgson At Mutineer Camp that i wanted to write floating around my head for a while that was. I suppose centred on the sheer Betrayal of GIBSON YOU CHANGED MY SHEETS FOR THREE YEARS? WHAT THE FUCK? And as I did more research abt both of them and found that they’d been on ships together & that it was likely that either Hodgson or Peglar got Gibson his job? Fuckin wrote itself, especially seeing as in show-canon Bridgens is the Peglar Papers Steward.

Anyway I’ve said this before to everyone who’ll listen but I will say it again: I think Hodgson is misinterpreted & underappreciated by a lot of the fandom &  it makes me SAD and also ANGRY.

Like: I once saw someone say that he was “mad about Jopson’s promotion, so fuck that guy”? NO. He MISSED Jopson’s promotion! He would have gotten a KICK out of Jopson’s promotion! You BASTARDS! Hickey picks on him SPECIFICALLY because he’s out of the loop! I’ll kill you!

Ham jokes? I’m coming to your HOUSE. man’s as ‘obsessed with ham’ as any self-respecting naval officer starving to death in the arctic

Then there’s the “Who is this?” being taken as some kind of a-okay for cannibalism instead of a guy who saw someone shot dead just last night and then spent the morning burying said dead'un being literally scared out of his mind by a greasy lil rat with a knife and Tozer blocking the tent flap with a fuckign RIFLE. DAMN YOU ALL.

Do I think he’s a complete FOOL? YES. Do I think he ever had any kind of malicious intent? NO. Okay anyway I’m gonna talk a bit more abt that later so let me go back to the next part lmao

So Part 2 of the George Henry Hodgson Saga was then to figure out why he had to go stay with his aunts - this ALSO came pretty straight to me, for whatever reason. I think it might have started off as just his parents pleasure jaunt, but as I was thinking about later scenes with Jimmy Fitzjas I came up with a thing abt - Im not gonna find the reference now but in the battersby book there’s a bit abt William Coningham going to take the waters at bath or whatever for Weak Lungs which OBVIOUSLY made me think of my favourite comsumptive Of All Time Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin & the countryside retreats he & his sister Emilia took for their symptoms as teenagers (and unforch Emilia died of tuberculosis aged just 14… rip)

ANYWAY I had some VAGUE idea that George n Fitz could have some kind of Passing Discussion abt Brothers With Shite Lungs that obviously never came to fruition but. Lol whatever, it gave me a reason for why My Parents Sent Me To Stay With Two Aunts.

UH. Right, so then like the third leg for this to stand on was that Fitzjames and Hodgson had ALSO served together & Fitzjames had: 1. recommended Hodgson to the expedition 2: mentioned him TWICE in his Voyage of the Cornwallis 3. Mentioned him in his letters to the Coninghams from disko bay (one of the only Terrors mentioned - there’s a passage abt Fitzjames going to look at the icebergs with Fairholme and Hodgson. ANYWAY; show-canon Hodgson has a sense of humour and I really think he tried to make the men see him as approachable, at least compared to the other Terror officers and that reminds me a lot of how the historical Fitzjames seemed from mystery man! Seeing as they KNew each other I think it’s not unfair to suggest that he’s trying to emulate an older and more successful officer! He wants to succeed! He wants to have fun and to be loved by The Men!

My friend said something very Prescient abt this to me recently which was that THere are a lot of similarities between Hodgson & Fitzjames and it’s kinda like. Fitzjames is the Ideal, and Hodgson just misses the mark. He’s the average man’s James Fitzjames and because he doesn’t know about Fitzjames’ surplus of political luck that only makes him feel more of a failure. Fitzjames gets a bullet that gets him compared to Lord Nelson, Hodgson gets in the gazette as ‘slightly wounded’. Even their monologues! Fitzjames gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and he gets! Affirmation! Gets told that he’s a good man and brave and loved! Hodgson gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and gets! FUCK ALL! A MAN SITS IN SILENCE! He has to fucking! Walk out alone after all of that! FUCK!!!

Okay so this whole fic just sat in my brain for probably like six months until I literally sat up in bed because I worked out the last piece of the puzzle

(Drac has an epiphany, July 4th 2019, colourised)

Which was, of course, 'Hodgson went to boarding school’ - which is what all of this ends up hanging off of! Boarding school culture! The younger years are servants for the upper years, who in turn are responsible for the younger students!  including discipline etc so like… if a younger year brought something up to their “fag-master” it’d be sorted by them and maybe prefects, without getting schoolmasters etc involved.

WHICH is why George doesn’t tell the captains about what happens to Neptune, because he’s out here trying to be a good fag master and get it sorted himself! His own fag master fucked him over by getting the schoolmasters involved when they oughtn’t have been! He’s not about to be Archibald Harrington-Thurlowe! He’s not okaying the mutiny! He’s trying to minimise the damage *on his own* like a fuckin idiot!

IF YOU CALL HODGSON A MUTINEER I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE N MAKE YOU GET LOST AND ABANDONED AND END UP EATING YOUR BOOT BEFORE GETTING 'RESCUED’ BY THE SAME GREASY RAT WHO LITERALLY MURDERED YOUR PAL AND TRICKED YOU INTO SLAUGHTERING CIVILIANS! I’LL. I’M NOT HAPPY.

I’m just basically so upset about 'one perfect moment in a whole imperfect life’ being a childhood memory that he was taught to see as so shameful to compare it to cannibalism under duress? FUCK.

A whole imperfect life in GENERAL has me fucked up! He just kept trying and kept just missing what he was aiming for! I mean. That’s relateable. Not one part of a life turning out as you expected or planned? ME!!!! Your achievements add up to nothing and no matter how hard you try you end up a footnote! FUCK offfff

I had some difficulty with the religious angle for a while because. hm. okay. To start with the religious angle IN-CANON is just.... not correct. Catholics don't let you drink the blood. The church of england DOES... and that's what most of these men ARE. The Papist Speech as a whole was cobbled together from one of Crozier's ~Visions~ in the book - and it's important in that case that Crozier is IRISH... Poor analogy, writers! Putting aside that he was also... SEVEN... maybe he was an unusually tall seven-year old, people assumed he'd had first communion/been baptised & no one wanted to cause a fuss... I mean the guy has lead poisoning so it's fair to mis-remember but... YEAH. Messy, which is a shame because it's a powerful monologue very well-delivered, shame it's complete fucking nonsense 😂 (not to be like... SMH Americans but... smh Americans...)

Anyway, as I wrote it? that’s me. I wasn’t raised religious - my dad’s an old-school small-town Continental Catholic, my mum’s agnostic but raised CofE (but *her* dad was raised Jewish (also continental) during WW2), I think they couldn’t be fucked with the drama, I never went to church or anything and as a kid when we had prayers at school assembly I didn’t know what I was doing!!!! I felt bad because I couldn’t fathom God as a concept!!! I still can’t! But as a kid it’s like. I don’t understand and on account of that I’m afraid I’m going to Hell. tfw you write what you know.

ALSO there were definitely a couple of times where I wrote G H Hodgson as played by B W Wooster and I will not be taking constructive criticism on that.

ANYWAY My brain has kindof turned itself off now but I guess this is just. My own personal backstory to this jhsgfjhs. I actually probably have about 400x more to say but it’s fully evaporated. thank you SO MUCH for asking me though. i die.

[tandytoaster]

I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”. 

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing. 

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying. 

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into. 

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career. 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON  “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready. 

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me. 

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit. 

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag. 

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic. 

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people. 

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference 

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.

[despiteherself]

somewhat spoiler-y thoughts under the cut. don’t keep reading if you don’t want to see stuff about httyd3

okay. so overall i actually enjoyed httyd3 (surprising; i know). i do have lots and lots of complaints but the stuff i liked was exciting and interesting enough that i sort of just blacked out the bad stuff. and i’m going to love picking that stuff apart bc boy was there some cringy shit. especially if you don’t like hiccstrid, their scenes with actual relationship talk were awkward and wooden and god. the ending was SO :/ 

actual spoilers from here on out. you’ve been warned. 

grimmel was a lot more compelling as a villain. they sort of gave him a backstory thing and it kind of ruined it a bit for me bc it was basically “i killed a night fury as a boy and my village loved me for it so i killed all of them” but idk something about it was lacking and i was like. oh. did you guys not care enough to flesh this one out. actually, writing it down it sounds way better motivation than when he actually said it even tho it’s basically the same thing.

the deathgrippers were being controlled! grimmel was using their venom to mind control them, so any “alpha talk” didn’t get through to them and they did exactly what grimmel wanted. 

and hiccup didn’t give a shit lol. these dragons were constantly being drugged via needles in their head/neck and being forced to hunt and attack and carry grimmel around and hiccup didn’t even feel a little bit sorry for them or express any pain. the whole movie was kinda “wow ppl don’t deserve dragons we need to save them” but he didn’t express any empathy for dragons being used? not many were shown in this movie to be used, and even less that hiccup saw, but idk the whole “let the things you love go!” didn’t congeal well. 

further more, he made several terrible decisions for the entirety of berk, including running away to find the hidden world, which they had no proof even existed and absolutely kept walking exactly into everything grimmel wanted, but when ruff did it (after she was “captured” and let go she flies straight back the place they’ve settled leading grimmel back to new berk) it felt like it was being played as a WAY worse thing. like she was an idiot for doing it, and it was just! hiccup. every decision you’ve made has been panicked and blind and made your position worse and worse. 

gobber, valka and eret all get a little screen time, and they all play the naysayer stoick part? like “hiccup this is dangerous” and hiccup completely ignores them. them: hiccup we have advice hiccup: ok cool im not listening and i don’t want to hear it. they don’t even get to really explain their points of view ??????? 

valka’s other stuff is “oh we might have been followed leaving berk” and then her being all “astrid do u still love and believe in my son?????” what “he’ll listen to u” uhm ??? and no one else i get? ?/ they literally do not talk except about hiccup

gobber’s scene where he tells hiccup to marry astrid is so weird and awkward and only tuffnut yelling “oh no not the m word!” had anything that made it better. noah fence but astrid was all “that’s weird and awkward of you” and tells hiccup she thinks they’re “not ready for marriage” and the idea is silly and it 100% sounds like she’s not interested in him at all. and he’s obviously super invested and he’s all “haha maybe you can have snotlout” she makes “jokes” about snotlout being into valka. it was.... 

also. he ONLY mentioned snotlout when saying there’s other guys and idk. it ..... idk now i think about it it maybe feels the “joke” is kinda who would want snotlout which :/ but i guess means tuff and fishlegs are valid suitors? i don’t know 

hiccup in the whole was pretty weak tbh. like he didn’t stand out for me and most of his plot felt like it had a bunch of good ideas but they struggled putting it together. it’s like when u see a fic and u love the general idea but the execution is not how u would, and they go on and it’s like. i really really wouldn’t have 

they weirdly anthropomorphise toothless and then also. have him act like a dog and i found it disconcerting 

the light fury is genuinely super blobby and ugly and i cna’t believe they made me watch SO much of “uwuw sexy seductress” content and toothless being a complete airhead who licks a rock to “practice” for it. was weird and i was uncomfortable. 

also astrid is all “wow toothless has a girlfriend its so cute !!!!!!!” and they watch him watch other dragons doing mating dances and hiccup is like ‘i never pegged you for a romantic, like never” like get a fuckign hint !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she never kisses you on the cheek. astrid expressing sentiment cause she thinks something is romantic but never for your relationship is telling you A LOT about it 

honestly. they don’t do anything to make me convinced in ANY WAY that astrid is actually into him and wants to marry him for real. at their wedding she is SO wooden and when they kiss hiccup brings his hand up but astrid is just STANDING there,,, and they look so blank. it’s so. 

also. i was right astrid was mostly just a prop for hiccup’s story and she barely interacts with anyone that isn’t hiccup or valka, and when it’s valka it’s about hiccup. 

aside from toothless, and a little bit of stormfly, the gang’s dragons are mostly just. in the background and don’t really have anything to do with anything

behind everything there were this warlords, i didn’t pick up names and apparently they were the ones who were funding drago or whatever? and they call grimmel in bc he cares about killing night furies and are hoping that it’ll mean they get all the dragons. it was kinda. i sort of liked the idea but i felt it was shoved in, and they just mentioned drago to make it seem like it was planned when they came out of nowhere. and idk not planned at all. like an idea that was good but they didn’t edit everything to make sure it fit. a lot of stuff felt kind retcon-y like apparently stoick was “obsessed with finding the hidden world” and he even mentions in a flash back that it’s not the nest they’re looking for in httyd1 so it’s so weird like. and there was this ~journals~ stoick had about it and it’s just! they never ever mentioned this before gfhsdfjhdfgjdfgfdg guys. that’s so fucking messy and kinda annoying. in the grand scheme this retconning isn’t too much, but it’s enough that it’s like. none of this was planned and i can tell and instead of making it match up you just bluster through like “actually this always happened” as if u think i’m a dumbass who will just blindly believe whatever you tell me instead of a long time fan with a personal involvement.i know some of u read my blog,,, come on   

i didn’t cry at all like lol. i had fun but i wasn’t emotional. 

no characters die don’t worry

ruff was PERFECT and everything she did was wnoderful and i LOVE her so much! she got to speak A LOT and she’s all “it’s so tough being this hot” i love you girl, and she’s over eret and is like “wow he missed out” and talks about snotlout and fishlegs which was :///// but the guys don’t do the whole fighting over her thing so that’s! and she’s like “i guess fishlegs but he’s a nerd” and at the end he cries at the wedding and she’s like “wow i guess the sensitive guy wins” so a lot of her stuff was kinda about men ://// but herself was PERFECT and she boops grimmel’s face with the bobble ends of her hair pretending they’re a zippleback. she makes jokes about why is grimmel’s face so long, and her’s is long but WOW does that take the cake. and she says “astrid round face” it was so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s so good i love her 

rupple does a good job with tuff. the voice difference was noticeable and i kept thinking about it but i think he did well. tuff gets a bunch of speaking parts and he’s super involved with the whole wedding concept and he’s like “haha wow hiccy, a DOES NOT WANT to get married 2 u LOL. which is #tru cause like. she’s a viking warrior queen and you’re well you. you need to shape up. also. be more like me” which i will TAKE i cannot believe tuffstrid is REAL. also now im about 80% convinced hiccup and astrid took a break to see other ppl and tuffstrid fucked. tuff and astrid don’t really interact except for when they leave ruff behind but they KEEP on doing this whole, vibe thing that makes them seem like they’re good friends. like. tuff thinking he knows what astrids want or admires and he actually goes and all his advice/pep talk is like half leg jokes but it’s all good????? tuff has ear piercings, they’re SO on point they look so good, and he’s got rings all over his fingers i love this kid so much he’s so great. he calls his braid his beard and whenever anyone looks a little sad he like, shoves their face into his braid to comfort them.

also tuff says there’s no edge of the world cause actually it’s round like the sun and the moon and stars, even tho stars are dumb. 

i was right fishlegs’ first sentence is basically them all going “wow a nerd” akdshgfkdjghfg. he doesn’t get as much screen time as the others, and most of it is focused on fishmeat, who is ADORABLE and PERFECT. that big moose dragon meets fishmeat at the start and they become bffs and he defends his lil buddy

snotlout’s also not as much screen time, and most of it is him following valka around and being impressed with her and wanting her to say nice things about him. the rest is him getting caught on his cape. valka says nice stuff about eret cause he’s actually good at this planning stuff (except one bit thats played for jokes where snotlout is like “we should spilt up cause *good reasons*” and then eret is like “we should spilt up cause i feel like it” and valka’s all “i trust your instincts!!!!”. it was weird bc it was the only really good tactical decision snotlout made and it gets ignored) and he keeps getting his ego pumped up when he takes what valka says wrong - like she’s being polite, or there’s double meanings and he takes it like he’s good but all he did was get caught on a cage and hung there until hookfang picked him up - and at the end she says “eret maybe brawn, but you’re the brains” and snotlout feels validated again but he doesn’t really deserve it? like idk i wish she said something meaningful. it’s not kind to make someone feel like they’re good at something they’re not. you should encourage him when he’s doing well. 

eret is just kinda. around. doing things. and being like, snotlout’s “rival” for valka’s attention and eret is like. what are you on about lmao

also. i’ve seen some out of context spoilers and they mentioned something being gay but i don’t know where that’s from? snotlout kinda says some great things about eret but it’s a real squint and gobber says eret has the body of a norse god but then he says he does as well and then puts a crick in back when he’s stretching so it’s very clearly a joke and it’s definitely like ‘he’s fat and old and dirty its funny cause he thinks he’s attractive” rather than anything else

hmmMMmmMMMMM god ive forgotten what i’ve talked about and what i haven’t im sure i have more to say but this is already super long os. you can ask me questions if u like. send me an im or something 

[disinvited-guest]

10/27/2018 NYC Mini Recap

Since there is a full length recording of this show as well as several videos, and because I want to be all caught up on recaps going into my next round of shows, this is just going to be a mini recap.

-I took a bus and two trains into the city, then walked several blocks.  I had planned to get there earlier than I did, but it all worked out, as due to some intense strategizing and brilliant execution on the part of @monopuffstan and @integrityproject , we snagged a spot in the front row in front of the drum riser.  It had been far too long since I had been over on that side of the stage, and I really enjoyed the change in perspective.

-While we were waiting, we saw a bunch of the backstage goings-on through a gap in a curtain that covered a balcony over stage left.  Just about everyone passed through that point before the show, and Dan and Linnell both peeked around the curtain to check out the crowd.

I- realized at this show that Curt has a tablet set up in front of his riser.

-The setlist wasn’t an exact replica of the night before, but it was fairly similar.

-Dan was right in front of us for the Damn Good Times solo, and it’s even more spectacular up close

-I got a smile from Danny towards the start of the show.  Towards the end, of the second set, you could see him checking the first few rows from one side of the crowd to the other and making sure he had acknowledged everyone he recognized.  I got another smile then, and I thought it was nice to see how much he cared about us fans.

-Linnell was taking pictures on a disposable camera as they came onstage, and while Flans was greeting the crowd.

-Flans referred to Terminal 5 as both “the concrete box that rocks” and “our home away from home, even when we are at home”

-Linnell apparently had slept most of the day, then had and exhausted conversation with his wife about how strange Canada was “that was weird”

-They claimed in touring Canada that the had missed Moosejaw and Winterhat, but had been to Sascacheeeee....

-Flans talked about going on someone’s twitter profile (sometimes when a person posts something incomprehensible, he explained, you have to check out their profile) and they described themselves as "shy af." He pretended to us that he had no idea what that could mean, and Linnell told him it was a photography term and it stood for out of focus.  “It all comes back to photography.”

-Flans mentioned that he had presented Robin with their first ever piece of taxidermy (the mini-tiger which he had mentioned in Ithaca).  They’ve decided to keep it in a nook at the top of their basement stairs.  What happened next is too hilarious not to include longform.

Flans:  The interesting thing about taxidermy is that you either lose all your friends or you gain a whole new set of friends who are just a little bit creepier.

Linnell: Or you could just taxidermy your old friends.  It’s a win-win.

Flans:  It’s that kind of outside of the box thinking that’s kept this band fresh for all these years

They continued on that vein  for a while, the exact wording of which I forget, then continued

Flans:  What’s a little cannibalism among friends?

Linnell: I didn’t say anything about cannibalism.

Flans: And that is the basis of our collaboration.  You mention taxidermy and I’m like “hey cannibalism!”

-Flans said the second set is all fusion rock and we’d have to pay to leave.

-When Linnell tried to start during the Future of Sound on his Kaoss pad, nothing happened and he had to reach up and turn it on, which everyone saw since the camera on his keyboard was projected to the big screen

-Flans told us we weren’t in the oversized paper clip section of staples when introducing the contra alto clarinet.

-When introducing All Time What, Flans said Dan was on the keyboards.  Dan eyes got huge, and he asked Danny about it.  Danny went over to Flans and told him that he was introducing a different song than was next on the setlist.  Flans asked him what was on the setlist, then brushed him off, saying that that was the song he was introducing.  Linnell then teased Danny that it was “a little early in the show to start fuckign everything up.”  Danny threw his hands in the air, walked back over to Dan, and said something to him, obviously to the effect of ‘are you going to play keyboards on this’ which Dan responded to with an adamant headshake.

-According to Flans they don’t have any other time to talk, so the show is also a meeting for them “last week they confronted me about the cold medicine and I was like ‘I don’t care guys, I am an autonomous individual of destruction.”

-According to Linnell, they wrote Let’s Get This Over With when they were “stone drunk and flat broke in the Louisiana rain,”  in a deep gravelly voice that he claimed was his “real” one

-Dan was wearing his Chicken Parm Shirt.  Linnell pointed out to us all that when he first came onstage wearing his jacket, it looked like it said “ick ar” and that when he was wearing his guitar strap it had said “chick arm.”  He thought maybe there was more to the shirt than just chicken parm.

-Since we were in New York, Flans figured everyone had a solid theatre background.  He told us the “safe word” for the night was new song.

-When Linnell announced they were reaching the end of the first set, he said it was “when we will be taking our hopefully well deserved break.”  

-Flans apparently usually listens to an audiobook during the break.  Linnell thought it was a Keith Richards autobiography, but Flans claimed it was The Making of A Star is Born (which made Marty shoot him a dirty look).  They decided that the audiobook was narrated by Gilbert Godfrey, which was apparently an in-joke based on the rotating narrators of the Keith Richards’ autobiography, which Flans had been listening to.  Linnell has decided that the last chapter of every audiobook should be narrated by Gilbert Godfrey.

-During Spy, Linnell started yelling “Now the night is gone!” over the guys playing instead of using the song sample he has programmed.

-Curt felt a little bit towards the end of the first set  Dan covered a bit of his part during When Will You Die, and the Spy intro was a little shorter than it had been.  Whatever it was, he recovered a lot of his energy by the second set.

-I met @marcuskane briefly during the break between sets!

-Flans discussed George Soros again during the Quiet Storm.  Apparently, they are making The Shining 2 about him, and how he is everywhere, doing everything.

-Linnell told us in the future of 1844, everything has the word space in front of it: space beards, space horse-and-buggy, etc.

-Flans used the phrase “push back the hands of time” in introducing Applause Applause Applause, which caused a few gasps in the front few rows before they started the song.

-How Can I Sing Like a Girl was a “long distance dedication to anyone not running for the Supreme Court” because it “wouldn’t be the acoustic section without unwanted political comment.”

-The electronic drums in an acoustic set are “a musical non-sequitur” according to Flans

-Curt was right in front of us for the intro to Istanbul, which was unbelievable.

-Linnell claimed that he was a kid in the year 3000 BC before the Mesopotamians

-When Flans introduced the Sun as being the single off their new album, the crowd went wild like Flans had demanded they do for new songs during the previous set.

-“The sun is like a huge atom-smashing device for crushing. The heat and light from the sun are caused by the nuclear reaction between this finger. That’s it.”

-At the beginning of the show, some people were yelling out requests and Flans told them “That’s right, we’re not taking requests.” They tried it again before She’s an Angel, and someone handed Flans that fake setlist that had shown up on Miscellaneous T a few weeks before.  When thanking people individually a bit later, Flans told him “you have a lot of ideas but this is neither the time nor the place.”

-Dan’s guitar was having trouble during the second set and he had to switch to another for a few songs.

-Flans started Operation with “People of Terminal 5 New York, allow me to inform you about my operation.”

-Flans sang his individual thank yous to the crowd with Linnell’s keyboard accompaniment.

-During  band intros, Dan did that thing where he tracked and repeated bits then played over them, shutting it all off abruptly with his foot.  

-Danny squeezed up next to Marty on the drum riser during Curts intro to have a conversation with him.  There is not enough room up there for two people

-Danny mimed eating when he was introduced as from Long Island “where the weak are killed and eaten” once again, but since he was using a ‘spoon’ it looked more like he was eating cereal from a bowl than the weak who had crossed him.

-“How bout that band? Only one rehearsal!”

-Coming out for the second encore, Linnell told us “You’ve made a happy band very old.”

[aratanaruu]

my thoughts on KH3′s endgame

a lotta endgame stuff but there’s gonna be a lot of talk about general KH3 things too. Spoilers for KH3 (+ KHUx) and be warned, there’s going to be a lot of negativity. Ish.

hhhh

hh

h

don’t get me wrong I loved KH3 as a Kingdom Hearts game. As a standalone game. But as a finale to a saga? I’m feeling disappointed. Like, really disappointed but in some cases, not surprised. Loved the game. Wished there were more.

I think my biggest gripe was that there was no mid-point. Or no “hub” world. KH3 started off great! I loved what they did with the KH2.9. That was cheeky, real cheeky. Good stuffs. Going to Twilight Town + Olympus really set things up. Sora’s going to find a way to bring Roxas back. Mickeyriku is going to find a way to bring Aqua back. Kairi and Lea are training. I was so excited to see how things would develop. 

Then it turned into... well. Sora just. kinda forgot about Roxas for the rest of the game?? Like?? After Twilight Town, the game turned into a “go to this Disney world and fuck around. Then go to this Disney world and do the same thing with no plot relevance whatsoever.” There was no midpoint in the game where we were like oh yeah, there’s kinda an upcoming keyblade war.

I think that’s what made the endgame feel so rushed. Everything happened in the Keyblade Graveyard and beyond instead of being spaced out. Aqua’s back, hooray! And in the next ten minutes, Ven is back. Yay! And in the next five minutes, we’re at the final battle spot! Wait, what?

so i’m just gonna gloss over the whole timeline shenanigan stuff because my one brain cell is too tired to think about it rn.

I’ll talk about the individual scenes like Terranort + Xion/Roxas’ return + THE WAYFINDER TRIOS REUNION???? in separate posts cause i don’t feel like making this get long and they each deserve their own post.

but yeah anyways back to the ‘plot’. Sora forgot about Roxas? Sora did so little to actually... bring Roxas back. The keybearers just charged into the final battle without worry and the people who were supposed to come back kinda just... did. Like, Sora bringing Roxas back was emphasized so much in the trailers. And when Roxas finally does come back, he and Sora nod at each other and... that’s it? That’s all the character interaction we get?

To be fair, though, there were hardly any character interaction (coughvenandroxaslookingateachothercough). I think that’s what a lot of the fandom was looking forward to most. Ven seeing Lea? My boy made no remark on how things really have changed in the ten years he’s been asleep? He called Lea his friend (which was sweet) but that’s it? Aqua talks to Kairi sure. But Terra never once speaks to Riku, his apprentice? Terra and Riku never talk about how they both fell to darkness???? Roxas and Riku never talk things out???? Kairi and Namine??? oh thats another story. namine, sweetie, im so fucking sorry you got done so dirty sweetie i am so sorry

Everything felt rushed! Oh, the war’s starting. Oh, look, everyone’s back. (speaking of which, Xion, baby, I love you but how did you get here..?) Oh, look, Kairi’s dead. (yeah im. not gonna go there. i think the fandom’s got me covered regarding how kairi was done even dirtier in kh3.) 

Scala ad Caelum is fucking gorgeous. and there’s daybreak town and since im a slut for khux ofc i ascended when i saw it. Theme’s great. If only we got to listen to it for more than fifteen seconds. I’m with the party that believes Scala was supposed to be a playable, explorable world but was cut in development. smh

I think the ending was. Well. I loved everything to do with the Wayfinders??? LIKE??? Eraqus shows up!! And HUGS! HUGS GBSIHBGKHSB im’ losing my mind over this scene one month later like??? ERAQUS APOLOGIZES TO VEN AND AQUA and Terra’s so hesitant to approach Eraqus because he thinks he doesn’t deserve his Master’s love but Eraqus brings him into the grouphug KHGBSKHGBK and he tells Terra to “take care of the two” which shows that he trusts Terra!! He still trusts Terra!!! AGBAKHGBAKHGAB

sidenote: i can’t fuckning get over terra approaching xehanort and getting ready to fuck., him up. and aqua grabs his hand because she’s afraid not of terra but of losing him again and seeing hikm hurt but terra just looks at aqua with a gaze that asks her to trust him and she does so she lets go oh my gfucking god kh3 made terraqua canon without making it actually canon BL ES S my crops have been watered my skin is cleared my fucking depression is cured BLESS

so after xehanort gets away scotch-free from giving like, everyone PTSD, there’s a satisfying ending of Sora holding the x-blade and stuff like that but. Kairi?? Where’s Kairi?? Like, all the keybearers are here. All the trios (namine sweetie i still love you) are here. Except for Kairi. It’s just. Augh. 

I feel like things would have made a nice conclusion. Hell, things did make a nice conclusion! But then Kairi’s not there! It’s kinda like Nomura didn’t want the story to end. I was looking for a satisfying end to the saga but Nomura kept it going with an “oh yeah kairis kinda gone soras gonna look for her btw” while I’m just??? let it end?? endings are okay sometimes?? please//??

yeah and then sora’s like, fuckig dead or whatever. yeah im not happy about that from a writing standpoint. I want a closed ending! I want the Destiny Trio to have justice! I want them to be together like in KH2′s ending! But did Riku and Kairi even talk to each other once in KH3? It feels like the ending was just a giant set up towards the uh, secret ending.

yeah im currently playing ffxv right now. im in absolute love with the game. like, literal, absolute love. can’t stop thinking about it and making content for it. it’s great. i love it. 

verum rex.

oh boy.

When I first saw Verum Rex, I was like “this is kinda getting a little too meta but maybe it’s just another cheeky easter egg.” Then later, I was like holy shit wait Verum Rex is Latin for like, True King or something. That’s a little too-too meta.

...the secret ending. yeah. to me, it just seems like nomura is still salty over versus and i feel like that affected kh3 poorly. i know he stated in a recent interview that the two had no correlation but sure. okay. i believe you. 

bleahgkhsbg. I dunno. The Wayfinder Trio got done so much justice in the ending. Like, fucking Aqua and Terra adopt Ven and his cat/???? They live happily in the LoD??? Ven’s reunited with Chirithy?? More KHUx content??? Akusai got fuckign married and adopted 5 dumbass kids??

Destiny Trio got... shafted and fucked up. and versus is forcing itself into kh3 and. aaaaaa

once again. i love kh3 as a standalone kh game. I could rant about the positives (WAYFINDER TRIO?? HOW CUTE VEN LOOKS IN THE NEW ENGINE??? THE FUCKING MUSIC???) but ye. im here being negative woohoo

TL;DR:

KH3 felt lacking to me. Wished there was more content. Pacing was horrendous for me. Ven is adorable. I’d die for the Wayfinder Trio. Ienzo is fucking adorable. I’m not fond of the ending.