#and yaz is gonna go first

[swan2swan]

.....rewatching this scene and I am fairly convinced that Sammy's already got a ring on her somewhere.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

"you were born evil" but you still named her agatha.

thinking about that process, because it took 18 years right. you have a baby and you call her good and she turns out to be smarter than you, more powerful than you, and it scares you, you dont know how to handle that especially in a world that hates you and her already. the things about her that scare you, will scare the outside world who understands even less than you do ten times more. you dont know how to protect her so you try to control her which is like number one bad idea human response to things that scare us.

obviously this backfires and she gets even more furious in her quest for knowledge, every door you close she finds a window, every place you warn away from she gets into, talking to people she shouldnt be talking to, trying out magic she shouldnt be trying. every step she takes is one further out of your control, further out of anyone's control, every new thing she learns makes her dangerous, puts her in danger, puts your coven in danger, shes exposing all of you along with herself. shes in danger, shes a danger, shes a teenager and she knows more than you, of course shes not gonna listen to you anymore, about anything. of course shes not gonna hear a warning, and if she did she wouldnt take it, just to spite you.

what are you gonna do? youre not the only one whos scared. of her, for her. youve got an entire coven getting panicky about the way shes exposing all of you, the risks shes taking that she may or may not be able to fully understand (maybe shes never seen one of you burned before, maybe shes her own first). and if she were on her own that would be her decision to make, but you are still responsible for your coven and you are responsible for her, for her safety and for the threat she poses. so what do you do? do you even have a choice? or is this just where the mob turns. kick a scapegoat onto a pyre and hope fortune turns for the rest of us. if she cant stick to the rules in place for the safety of all, then shes a ticking timebomb. if it's not her at the stake, sooner or later it's all of you. so what can you do? what are you expected to do?

punish agatha.

[smallblueandloud]

i wrote 2k today :D and it was for two fics that had stalled!! so that's really exciting

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

I would like to thank RTD for making so many people look back at Thirteen's Era and start to go "you know what? Maybe we judged the writing too harshly on this one." Maybe it is a good idea to bring in new writers and more women and people of color behind the scenes and allow them to write and direct things like Demons of the Punjab (top 5 ever Doctor Who episode) and the Haunting of Villa Diodati and Fugitive of the Judoon. Maybe Thirteen WAS camp, because the universe who decided to be a frog and the mud that did witchcraft and the Pting and the plastic that ate birds were unhinged and fun. Maybe we got some GORGEOUS cinematography out of it. Maybe Thirteen's take on gender is more interesting than the 60th anniversary specials. Maybe Yaz DID get an arc in the Flux/standalone specials and people just didn't pay attention. Maybe the Power of the Doctor paid more respect to former eras of Doctor Who than any of the 60th anniversary specials did. Maybe Chibnall acted with far more grace to the RTD Era (Jack) than RTD did to Chibnall (treatment of Yaz and Thirteen). Maybe it was actually cool to see less well-known or underexplored historical figures like Mary Seacole and Ada Lovelace and Nikola Tesla and Noor Inayat Khan end up onscreen. Maybe Thasmin wasn't queerbait, it was an interesting exploration of the doctor/companion romance IN KEEPING with Thirteen's established character with one of its keystone episodes written by a queer woman.

Yes, Chibnall was flawed. I'm never gonna pretend that the Battle of Ranskoor Av Kalos wasn't a piss poor finale that felt like a first draft of themes and idea. I'm not gonna pretend like the multiple companions in the TARDIS ever felt properly balanced or explored. Yes, the moment with the Master and the Nazis was FUCKED UP. The Timeless Child might have deserved more than one episode for the ImplicationsTM to be fleshed out. But EVERY Doctor Who Era has its flaws, ESPECIALLY when it comes to racism, and I'm TIRED pretending as if Chibnall's writing is significantly worse than the other two showrunners.

[jammatown919]

I also appreciate that even Gia doesn’t necessarily see the breakup as a done deal.

“Not knowing what, if anything, the future holds for you” definitely gets more at an uncertainty between them. As do a few other lines of dialogue from other characters. I don’t think anyone fully sees this as permanent. It could be, but no one knows where it’s going. Least of all Yaz and Sammy themselves.

But honestly the first time they’re in a room together without decisions about Brooklynn hanging over them they’re probably gonna talk about it. They’re both very obviously not okay with how they left things.

[mizgnomer]

Behind the Scenes of The Star Beast - Part Eleven

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s Star Beast Set Visit in Doctor Who Magazine 597:

They’re about to crash a spaceship into north London. “There is no ordinary week on this show,” says Vicki Delow, Doctor Who’s newest producer. “Every day, I think, oh my God, what the hell are we doing? Why can’t it just be two people talking in a kitchen? But then I remember: it’s the best job in the world. How many people get to go to work and crash a spaceship? I think it’ll look amazing.” But the spaceship’s going to be added in afterwards, right? “For budgetary reasons, yes,” she smiles. Either way, Donna won’t notice. She’ll be too busy showing her daughter how to stack boxes. “Mum! There’s a plane crashing,” Rose will say. Donna: “But watch me stack correctly.” The Doctor: “I don’t think that’s a plane. It’s a spaceship in trouble.” “What is the trajectory of the spaceship?” David asks Rachel [Talalay, director], during the rehearsal. “Do I acknowledge it at all?” asks Catherine. “Is the spaceship on fire?!!” asks Yaz. So. Many! Questions! “Well,” says Rachel, coolly, “it sort of depends…” Across the cobbles, Scott [Bates, the First Assistant Director] is talking 83 – count ’em – extras (or ‘supporting artists’) through the scene: “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re all going about, having a nice old time, then I’m gonna shout out ‘PHWOOMF’.” A ripple of laughter from the extras. “Hey, I’m doing my best work here! I’m gonna shout, ‘PHWOOMF’, then everyone is gonna look up there –” He uses a laser pen to point to a spot on the bridge above them. “No matter where you are, you look up there… and you’re not gonna believe what you’re seeing.” The extras rehearse their “oohs” and “wows”. “Give it MORE, c’mon!” says Scott. “Some of you get your phones out, take pictures. Then I’m gonna move my laser, you follow it… and then I’m gonna go, ‘KABOOM!!!’ And everyone’s like, whoa! So let’s give it some, yeah? We’re making television gold here.” “We’re gonna get a BAFTA!” cries one over-enthusiastic extra, called Matthew. “Oi, I do the jokes,” says Scott. “Good luck, everyone. Let’s have some fun. If we’re lucky, we’ll get one in before it rains…”

Additional parts of this set are in the #whoBtsBeast tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

[angstintensifer]

So some people have been theorizing the parallels between yasammy in s3 of jwct to jwcc s3

And saying they want a parallel to the long run where this time Sammy saves Yaz. While as a huge yasammy fan it would be cool to see how that would play out but

I don’t want that to happen.

I think that Sammy only going to Yaz because she’s hurt would undermine the real reasons they broke up.

Throughout s3 Yaz is determined to help Brooklynn and while she’s in the right for that, she’s also wrong for constantly dismissing Sammy’s feelings.

Sammy feels abandoned by Brooklynn and it’s triggering some old feelings about Yaz abandoning her for Wyoming and her family abandoning her by not talking to her.

Yaz doesn’t understand that in s3. Now this isn’t to say Sammy is right and Yaz is wrong in the whole thing, both had valid points but both need to work on fixing things together. They need to communicate in a better way that isn’t gonna hurt either of them.

Now there’s also another reason why I stated I don’t want this parallel to happen. Sammy shouldn’t run straight back to Yaz because of a near death experience.

Yaz has to be the one to come to Sammy, to be open on fixing things. Both need to do the work but it’s not gonna work if Sammy runs to Yaz because Sammy is putting herself first instead of running to put someone else before herself.

Yaz needs to prove that she’s not abandoning Sammy. These girls love each other so much and they can work it out.

But not because of them almost dies, but because they know what problems they can work on and improve.

[aristaspark]

Chaos Theory Season 3: part 3

Yk when I said I was actually ok with dinostar in season 1, then season 2 made me hate them? I'm not throwing lies around, that was actually the case. And season 3? While it has not repared the damage done in season 2 in my eyes, I found all their interactions endearing (I mean, I was always the biggest dinostar besties stan).

So I'm gonna speak about that scene in episode 7 in what I think is good faith and I really wish to know dinostar shippers opinion on it.

Brooklynn! Good luck Superstar

You too Dinonerd

That scene? Adorable. That's the dinostar I love. Absolutely adorable. But am I tripping or is this not the most adorable friendzone confirmation for a potential ship to have ever hit the screen?

I am not going to pretend that all the angst has disappeared btw them, Brooklynn's reaction when Darius implied that she had betrayed them in the last episode shows that there are still unresolved issues between them. But am I the only one thinking that their story has been evolving too quickly in season 3 if it was to be a big focus in season 4?

Kenji and Brooklynn will be a big focus next season (whether they end up together or not), just as Yaz and Sammy will be, it's inevitable.

But Darius and Brooklynn? They're already pretty much on good terms. Darius has forgiven Brooklynn, and it looks like Brooklynn is already on her way to forgive Darius. The only shadow that's left is, as I said, the fact that he abandonned her that night and Darius' confession...

Which they are probably going to adress as soon as episode one hits. They're stuck in an helicopter together, and will spend the first episode together. The team won't regroup with Sammy and Kenji before AT LEAST episode 3. They will have to address the elephant in the room at the start of the season, before we even get a glimpse at the angsty shit show that Kenlynn is shaping out to be.

And so, going back to that scene. The way they call each other Superstar and Dinonerd, to me, seems like the confirmation that they'll remain friends, before we hear them actually say it at the start of the next season. I don't know if you see what I mean? Like, to me it felt like the both reaffirming their friendship. Because that's their besties nickname and it has always been. I feel like that scene was a direct answer to the one where Darius felt anxious about bringing up his confession to Brooklynn. All he had to do was show her that he was still willing to be her best friend by calling her the way he used to do back when they were kids. And by calling him dino-nerd, she showed that that was what she wanted too.

[lookslikevespa]

My two cents towards Yasammy

I think the whole point the writers are making with yasammy, taking their interviews and hints on social media into account, that they are going to restart their relationship with a different and more mature basis, beyond trauma bonding.

Shortly before S3 release, this was said by Nick Rodriguez: "And, obviously, getting the chance to write a complicated but still pretty healthy queer relationship with Yaz and Sammy healed a lot of childhood wounds, not gonna lie."

They grew apart for I assume at least 6-12 months (Yaz moving for therapy) and things happened.

Namely Brooklynn's death and Sammy's family not talking to her anymore. I assume Brooklynn's death and Yaz moving are pretty close together, as we see the Camp fam on a video call shortly before and it's established they all kind of lost touch after her demise.

They both changed during this year, for better and for worse.

They both need to accept that the other changed. Yaz overcame her anxiety but in exchange Sammy lost everything.

Yaz's healing sacrificed her connection to Sammy during her absence, as Sammy didn't treat her like an adult. We see this in Season 1 of CT and also explicitly mentioned by Yaz. Judging by context clues, Sammy didn't communicate that being left behind by Yaz actually did hurt her. Maybe she was fine at first, but all the events chaining up made it worse. However, none of this was communicated to Yaz: "I don't want her to fall back". She made Yaz think that she actually cut out her family after disagreements, only correcting this in their final argument.

To keep it short:

They need to understand the different POVs they had on their relationship.

Sammy needs to accept that Yaz is an adult who can handle herself and overcame her past trauma.

Yaz needs to accept that Sammy can't be taken for granted, as she's not the only one with problems.

In conclusion, they need to talk and they will talk. And they will approach it from a different perspective.

And if not, then I'll be very disappointed in the show, as Yasammy has been crafted so beautifully over the past 5 years. That would be very disappointing :(

[throneofrayllum]

Dinostar Headcannons

Warning for mentions of like surgery I guess

Darius kisses the scar on Brooklynn's left arm all the time. The first time he did it she cried.

Darius is obsessed with her freckles. He thinks the one's on her cheeks are adorable, but there's just something about the one's on her chest that drive him crazy.

Even if there's an empty seat, Brooks gonna sit on Darius' lap (unless of course it wouldn't be appropriate - like at a fancy dinner or church or something)

Brooklynn plays with his hair 24/7. She loves to run her fingers through his hair when their kissing. She scratches his head when they're cuddling too.

When they first got together, they wanted to wait to have sex. Brooklynn needed time to heal, and it would be Darius' first time so she wanted it to be special for him. Their restraint broke within two weeks.

Brook loves to tease him. It drives him insane. This girl will send him nudes while he's at work. She'll slide his hand up her leg at the dinner table.

When they get married, they don't do it "traditionally". They still have a ceremony with friends and family, but they do their vows in private the morning of the wedding over a cup of coffee. Easily the most intimate experience they've ever had together. They were both sobbing buckets. There's no pictures or videos of their private vows, and no one else was there. It was just for them.

At the actual ceremony, they do the standard "I take so and so to be my lawfully wedded so and so in sickness and in health blah blah blah"

The ceremony is small - just a few friends and family - but the reception (which isn't your typical reception - it was just a party a few days later), was crazy. So much chaos. Brooklynn wore a tiny white dress and looked like she was going to elope in Vegas. Kenji and Ben get wasted. Yaz was talking to random strangers she's never met before and giving them free therapy - and becoming everyone's best friend. Sammy was tearing up the dancefloor with Brooklynn, Darius, and Mrs. Bowman. Brooklynn's dad's are taking shots with Gia. Darius and Brooklynn end up jumping in the pool (followed by almost everyone else at the party)

When Brooklynn gets pregnant, she ends up absolutely loving it. She thought she would hate it but after the first few months of morning sickness, she's loving it. Darius is obsessed with her bump. So is she, honestly.

Unfortunately, when she went into labor, she ended up having to have an emergency C-section. Next to seeing Brooklynn's blood on the ground that night, seeing his wife literally get cut open was the scariest thing he's ever witnessed. But he was calm for Brooklynn, holding her hand and distracting her.

But don't be mistaken...he was only calm once the procedure started and the doctors informed him everything was under control. When they first told him she was high risk and needed an emergency C - section he lost his shit.

[swan2swan]

Yaz: *blearily answering phone* "Hello?"

Brooklynn: "Yaz? It's Brooklynn. Don't ask how I got this number. I need to tell you something."

Yaz: "Are we about to be eaten by raptors? Is there an operation we're getting too close to? Are you coming back? Or maybe going to talk to your boyfriend? And no, I'm not gonna specify which one..."

Brooklynn: "Ah-ha-haaa, classic Yaz...that's why I called you! Actually, that's not why I called you. I need to tell you something...don't get mad..."

Yaz: "Couldn't be madder. What's up?"

Brooklynn : "Okay, so you know Soyona? Santos? The Broker?"

Yaz: "The woman who basically kidnapped you after she--it turns out--failed to murder you and then tried to kill the rest of us and is still the reason why we're looking over our shoulders?"

Brooklynn: "Yeah..."

Yaz: "With the perfect hair, crisp suit, and expensive-looking heels?"

Brooklynn: ".....yeah...."

Yaz: "The one with the incredible cheekbones and the unsettlingly soothing voice?"

Brooklynn: "............yeaaah...."

Yaz: "And the--I assume--vanilla-flavored lips?"

Brooklynn: "..............it's saffron."

Yaz: "Bougie. Do you want me to tell Kenji first? Or Darius? Or is this girl talk, just between us girls?"

Brooklynn: "....I kinda wanted you to be angry at me."

Yaz: "Come home, and I'll consider it. Otherwise, you make that bed, you lie in it. Unless she's the one who makes the bed."

Brooklynn: "....you are mad at me."

Yaz: "From the day we met. Now let me sleep. It's three AM here."

Brooklynn: "It's a one-hour difference!"

Yaz: "Then get your sleep!"

Brooklynn: "I will!"

Yaz: "........was it your call? All yours?"

Brooklynn: "One hundred percent."

Yaz: "Okay, cool. We'll unpack that later."

Brooklynn: "You know your lack of rage is hurting me more than yelling, right?"

Yaz: "Have fun with Paul, Esther Stone."

Brooklynn: "HEY! You know Paul was the most forced, two-dimensional--"

Yaz: *ends call, turns phone to silent*

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i...

[nickrocketrodriguez]

The locations and travel times hold up very well on inspection--I was delighted to see that a drive time from Wyoming to Louisiana would be about twenty hours, which lines up with the ambient lighting for Yasamben's truck ride with the Becklespinax. Did calculating the travel time impact the locations where you put everyone (and make for any interesting challenges)? Or, was the story written straight-up, leading to the artists building the lighting around that (e.g., Yaz and Sammy could have stolen the DPW car in broad daylight, but checking the drive time meant that it would be at night)?

Day 04 of Rocket answers in honor of Jurassic World: Chaos Theory S3 premiering on Netflix on 04/03! My inbox is still open for any questions!

//

The travel times was maybe one of the hardest things to keep track of in the room, but it was also kind of the first thing to go when we needed to say, "Screw it," to logic. I'm glad they held up as much as they did -- there were definitely many back-and-forths about travel time and lighting. There were even some on the production and lighting/design teams that allegedly made sure the phases of the moon lined up, which was truly going above and beyond in my eyes since it wasn't all that important to the story.

When writing, we DID do our best to adhere to real-world travel times and routes and such, but ultimately, it's one of those aspects of making a show that, if it doesn't matter to the story, we don't focus on it. For instance, in "Rest Stop" when Ben is trying to avoid the car that was seemingly tailing them, that HAD to happen at night because otherwise the tension would not have been the same (and Ben wouldn't have been as tired/drained, and thus not in the right mental paranoia state). Scenes like that need to happen at certain times of day.

An interesting instance of this is "The Drop" when Darius and Kenji go to wait for the dino transfer to take place so they can follow the DPW. The drop itself had to happen at night because who's gonna do an illegal dino transfer in the middle of the day? (I mean, I'm sure it happened, but it's definitely much easier to pull off something so clandestine in the middle of the night.) But it was also great that we needed that to happen at night because we also needed Darius and Kenji to have their conversation about Darius's feelings for Brooklynn. What better way to force that conversation than to make them wait for hours?

At the end of the day, though, we write what we think is best, and then if an issue pops up or a better idea comes from the other amazing artists involved in the show, we listen and collaborate on what would be best for the story we're telling. A lot of the time the times of day and travel times etc. are not an issue, but we did have to pay attention to it a lot more on this show because it's basically an "on the road" style adventure.

[brookslostarm]

Regarding the dinostar hate recently, I don't really think Darius did anything wrong. I get why people might think his confession was unhealthy, but put urself in his shoes. He got stranded on an island full of dinos at 12 and had to become the leader of a group of people older than him, a few months after his dad's death. He saw his best friends- Brooklynn and Kenji, get together and was 100 percent fine with it, even happy for them. A few years later, they break up and Brooklynn comes to stay with him for a week or so. He's never had feelings for anyone at this point, but that was because on the island, he never had any time for romance- always focusing on protecting his friends, and even after getting off the island- focusing on his mental health and DPW. But now, his dealt with all that and is at a good place in his life, likely ready for a relationship and focusing more on people he's interested in. Coincidentally, his girl best friend recently became single and stayed at his place for 1 week. It isn't like living on nublar since it's just the two of them. Feelings are bound to develop.

Now, his confession, a lotta people r saying that Darius is putting Brook on a pedestal, because he said something about supporting Brooklynn's work no matter what, but I don't really think that's true. The reason some of the audience is mad is because we know the extent of Brooklynn's obsession with her work, and so does Kenji, but does Darius know? It's not very likely, since Brooklynn doesn't talk much about her work. Also, when u get a crush, that too for the first time, ur gonna wanna impress them- say nice things to them, support them, etc. and that's literally what Darius was doing. He loved her and felt comfortable around her enough to say those things without putting much thought into it.

Another thing I've noticed is people saying that the "if he loved you half as much as I do" line is invalid because he left Brooklynn when she got kidnapped. In my opinion, that's just not true, he didn't want to leave her, he was just following Brooklynn's directions, and knew that if he stayed, him and yaz would also get captured. Also, didn't Kenji betray and lock his friends, including Brooklynn, in a room? I get that it wasn't his fault as he was manipulated by his dad, but I don't think it should be glossed over if we're using the "Darius left Brooklynn, and Kenji went back for her" argument against Dinostar.

As for the "he's dating his best friend's ex!" Thing, I get it goes against bro-code, but Brooklynn isn't just his best friend's ex, Brooklynn is also one of his best friends. They've supported each other through thick and thin and had SO much chemistry in season 2,3 and 5 of cc. Also, Kenji seems to be okay with him having feelings for Brook, based on s2 of ct. He doesn't seem to have any anger or resentment towards Darius and jokes with him like he normally would, even after knowing Darius' feelings. Also, a large portion of the fandom seems to enjoy dinostar more than kenlynn, and dinostar wouldn't be introduced in the first place if it wasn't going to be endgame. I don't think it was introduced just for drama, because if it was, it's gonna make even plantonic dinostar extremely problematic and unlikable, in my opinion.

That being said, I'm honestly fine with whatever route they decide to go through, whether Brooklynn ends up with Kenji, Darius or single, though I would prefer she end up with Darius. To the people who don't agree, I don't mean to cause any drama or anything lol, this is just my opinion. Ig we're gonna have to wait till season 3 to find out what happens😭

Maybe Brooklynn x Soyona tho🤔 their enemies to lovers potential is 📈📈📈

[cas-is-queer]

A few months ago I did a post about my thoughts on Doctor Who characters genders and sexualities. I've since finished the show, so this is a sort of part two with characters from 13th era onwards. Link to part one, which is 9 - 12 and all companions along the way: X

I've been working on this for so long 😭 plz enjoy

13th Doctor: Oh ho ho pansexual as fuck, but so severely traumatized she couldn't even consider a relationship. She should've been allowed to kiss women. Practically canonically transfem, depending on how you look at it lol. I think she's still unsure about her pronouns, this being her first female regeneration, but she uses she/her for the most part. Completely asexual, I'm sorry. She'll have sex, and isn't sex-repulsed, but honestly doesn't give a shit. Probably the most demiaro Doctor ever; literally only interested in Yaz and the Master, but he doesn't really count because she's known that bitch forever. Polyam af.

Yasmin Khan: Oh this is tricky. I'm gonna say sapphic. I'd say lesbian, but there was a little spice in her interactions with the Master, sue me. And what if I said transfem. What then. Cause I think I'm right. Fight me. Also polyam, again, fight me.

Ryan Sinclair: What's more bisexual: being bisexual, or whatever the fuck Ryan SInclair has going on? Idk man, the vibes are there. I think him and Yaz are little queer besties, and I love that for them.

Graham O'Brian: Um. Idk. He didn't seem all that upset when Jack flirted with him. That's all I have to say.

Dan Lewis: That is a transgender man if I have ever seen one. Idk what his sexuality is, and neither does he, but I don't think it's anywhere near the top of his priorities right now. He's busy putting up with The Horrors.

Dhawan!Master: What a freak. What a fucking freak (simultaneously both derogatory and positive). That bitch is a he/they pansexual. Polyam. However, none of that matters. What matters, is that this bitch needs psychological help.

14th Doctor: I resist the urge to squeal every time I think about him. He/they, with a small preference for they/them. Panromantic and asexual. Demiromantic. That bitch is so soft they could 100% domesticate the Master the way he does in all those saxteen fics.

Rose Noble: Canon transfem, obvi. Bisexual queen. Also just a queen in general. Honestly I would die for her.

15th Doctor: He lost the asexuality in the divorce (bigeneration). 14 kept it all, I'm sorry. That is an Omni motherfucker if I've ever seen one; preference for men. Should be allowed to kiss men more often, once was not enough.

Ruby Sunday: Bisexual because I said so. Another in a series of: companions that I don't have enough evidence for but just know are some type of queer.

Rogue: That is a gay man. I don't make the rules. That bitch is so down bad that he was willing to sacrifice himself for the Doctor after knowing him for only a few hours. I love that for him, honestly. And what if I said trans man. What now.

UNIT gang because I forgot about them:

Kate Lethbridge Stewart: Aha! What a lesbian. I stan a lesbian in power, and she deserves literally the entire world and more. I love her more than there are words for.

Petronela Osgood: You could consider this about either of them, but I'm mostly thinking about the human Osgood from before all that zygon stuff. They are 100% nonbinary and a lesbian. And also married to Kate. Just by the way.

Shirley: (I don't remember her last name, I'm so sorry) That is a bisexual. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Her banter could match the Doctor, and that's saying something. I literally love her so goddamn much.

And also Ashildr/Me because I forgot about them earlier: She is the ultimate pan; pangender and pansexual. He is so 'immortal character not made for immortality loses all sense of self including gender and becomes a weird Thing,' which is a personal favorite trope

I would also like to add trans man to my Rory Williams entry in the original post; I know it doesn't really work because he and Amy had River, but I honestly don't give a shit. I'd also like to add transmasc to Jack Harkness because I said so, and if no one else is gonna do it I will.

Whelp, that's all for now folks! I'll add on to this when season 15 comes out (in a little less than a month)!!!

[jammatown919]

I Hear You, I'm Sorry, I Love You

(Cross-posted to ao3, and I'm pretty sure someone already reposted it here, but I thought I'd post it anyway)

After the Nublar Six reunite in Biosyn Valley, Yaz and Sammy have a talk late at night. ------ Biosyn Valley was kind of like being back on Isla Nublar, all things considered. Only somehow with more tension.

They had the forest filled with potentially killer dinosaurs. The far from ideal sleeping conditions. The inability to even build a fire out in the open because of course these stupid lizards were attracted to light.

But on Nublar, they had been a largely united front. A group of best friends with unbreakable bonds. A bunch of kids who worried more about confessing to their crushes than real, adult relationships and the problems that could come with them. Young couples who looked at each other with stars in their eyes. Now, Sammy and Kenji hardly looked Yaz or Brooklynn's way at all.

It tore Yaz up inside to be so close to Sammy and not be able to talk to her, or touch her, or even make eye contact without some weird, bad feeling settling over them both. She couldn't stand it, frankly. If she had to deal with this any longer, she was actually going to go insane.

She managed to wait until the rest of the group had gone to sleep, exhausted from their travels and wanting a few hours of rest before they continued their search for Bumpy. Without the luxury of a shelter like they'd had on Nublar, they assigned watches to ensure nothing snuck up on them in the dark. Sammy volunteered for first, and Yaz saw her opportunity.

Maybe thirty minutes in, ample time for everyone to fall asleep in their messy beds of leaves and grass, Yaz sat up. She didn't know whether it was too optimistic to take it as a good sign that Sammy had settled in for her watch nearby rather than putting as much distance between them as she reasonably could. She was completely across the group from Brooklynn, but the next person over from Yaz. Maybe she was hoping to talk too?

In any case, Yaz slowly stood up and walked over to her, intent on sitting down beside her, but Sammy managed to stop her with only a glance in her direction.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked flatly. No hint of anger, but no hint of anything else either.

"Can we talk?" Yaz replied hopefully. Sammy turned away from her with a harsh sigh, and Yaz had never felt so small in her life.

"Yaz, I don't want to fight with you," she said. "You were right about Brooklynn, big whoop. She still hurt us, and I'm still mad at her. I'm glad she's okay, but just because she apologized doesn't mean I'm gonna run right back to being her friend after everything."

"It's not about Brooklynn." It never really had been, between the two of them. And maybe if Yaz had realized that sooner, she could have saved them both a lot of heartache.

"What, then?" Sammy almost looked back at her, but seemed to stop herself at the last second.

Yaz took a slow, deep breath, then launched into what she'd been wanting to say since talking this out with Ben on the trip to Malta.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm sorry for how I acted at Gia's house and for not taking the time to really try to understand how you were feeling. You have a right to be upset with Brooklynn, and I shouldn't have acted like you didn't. I was worried about her, but I got so wrapped up in it that I trivialized your emotions. I never meant to do that to you, and I'm so sorry that I did."

Sammy was silent for a few moments, her expression hard and strained. Then, it softened just slightly, and she patted the spot beside her. Yaz readily sat down, eager to be as close as Sammy would allow.

"It's not the first time, y'know," she murmured. "I wish I hadn't brought up Wyoming the way I did, but have you ever thought about what that was like for me? To have my partner, the only person still consistently in my life, just pack up and move away and barely talk to me? To call you every day and have you answer maybe once a week? Or two weeks? To send you dozens of texts about my day, asking about yours, trying to connect with you, and to get nothing but a thumbs up? It was like you just stopped thinking about me altogether. And I really tried to understand, because I knew what you were going through, but then you couldn't even extend the same courtesy when we were arguing. I give you space, I give you time, I do everything I can to be there for you because I love you. But when I need your support, you say I'm being ridiculous and call me a coward. You prioritize what you want to do over what I need like you don't even care."

These were all things that Yaz knew, in concept, had been harmful to their relationship, but to have it all laid out so plainly was like a knife to the chest. Sammy thought she didn't care. She had sabotaged her own relationship by being inconsiderate and oblivious. It was a lot to unpack, but it was her responsibility to do this and show Sammy she understood and wanted to do better. She would just have to start small and work her way up.

"Of course I care," she began. "And I'm so sorry I ever made you feel like I didn't. I never should have said what I said. Your relationship with your parents wasn't for me to comment on, and your feelings about Brooklynn are valid even if they're different from mine."

"So why did you say it?" Sammy demanded.

"I was too focused on trying to get you to see my side of things," Yaz replied. "I was afraid that if we didn't go after Brooklynn, something would happen to her and we'd never be able to get her back. I was afraid of everyone being too upset with her to help her. But I let that get the better of me and I lashed out at you. I resorted to arguing and name-calling because I wanted you to understand me when we should've been working to understand each other. It was childish and wrong, and I'm sorry."

Sammy let out a slow sigh and swept a hand across her face. "I get why you had to go after her. I really do. And I know I can get passive-aggressive sometimes, but I was so sick of not being heard."

"I'm sorry I let it get this far," Yaz said softly. "In Wyoming, it's not that I ever stopped thinking of you. It was the opposite."

"You ignored me for the better part of a year because you were thinking of me?" The skepticism in Sammy's voice absolutely killed her.

"Yes," Yaz went on steadily regardless. "When I left, I thought I was removing a problem from your life. We both know I wasn't exactly well, and I hated how worried you were and how much energy you put into taking care of me. I thought things would get easier for you if I left and proved that I could still stand on my own. But getting better wasn't a linear process. I had a lot of setbacks and bad days, and there were a lot of times when I was afraid that if we talked too much, I would say something that would make you think I wasn't getting better."

"It was the not talking that made me think that," Sammy said.

"It was the wrong way for me to handle it," Yaz conceded. "I should've been honest with you about everything. About feeling like your protectiveness was counterproductive, about wanting to be independent. I was just worried you wouldn't understand and it would hurt you. And then I just ended up hurting you anyway."

Sammy pursed her lips, her eyes planted firmly on the ground between her feet. Her hand twitched, almost as if to reach out and grasp Yaz's, but ultimately stayed where it was. 

"Sammy," Yaz said gently, "I never wanted to hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry that I did. I'm sorry that I made you feel like... this was our only option. It doesn't have to be. I want to fix this. I want to do better for you."

Sammy's breath hitched, and suddenly she buried her face in her hands. The tiny sob that escaped her shattered Yaz's heart into millions of pieces, and not knowing if hugging her would help or hurt just about ground it to dust. 

"This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do," Sammy whimpered, "because I still love you. Of course I still love you. And for five years, we were good. You were there, and I felt like you wanted that as much as I did. But ever since you stopped letting me in, it feels like you've been getting further and further away from me. I can't keep chasing you, Yaz."

"You don't have to." Yaz took a risk and reached for her hand, relieved that Sammy let her take it gently. "I'm coming to you. I'm here, and if you want me, I'm yours. I love you more than anything, Sammy. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you never have to doubt that again. Whatever you need."

"I need to know that you mean it." Through the tears, Sammy managed to fix her with a stern gaze. "When I tell you how I feel, I need you to actually listen. I need you to take me seriously even if you don't agree. And I need you to be the one to reach out to me every once in a while."

Yaz leaned in a little closer. "I promise to do my best to be better. To be the partner you need."

Slowly, Sammy leaned in too until their heads were touching. It made Yaz feel a little lighter to be close again. 

"Okay. But I mean it, Yaz," she said. "I know fixing things takes time, and I'm willing to work with you, but I need you to work with me too."

"As a team," Yaz replied softly. "Like we should be."

"Yeah." Sammy pressed herself a little closer still. "So, teammate, here's what I need from you right now. Don't try to tell me I should forgive Brooklynn. If you want to, that's your choice, but I need to make up my own mind about it. Understand?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good." After another few seconds, Sammy pulled away. "Thank you."

"Of course," Yaz murmured. She wanted to ask directly if they were okay now, to confirm what she hoped she was hearing, but she didn't want to push it too quickly and risk the progress they were making. Fortunately, Sammy always seemed to know what she was thinking. 

"I don't think I was ever going to not forgive you," she said gently. "I never wanted to split up. I just didn't know how else to make you see how much all this was affecting me."

"It was definitely a wakeup call," Yaz replied. "Even managed to get through my thick skull." 

Sammy stifled a small laugh with her hand, and Yaz found it in her to smile. 

"I'm sorry it took going to that extreme to make me understand," she went on. 

"Honestly, you should get your money back for those psychology classes. They clearly didn't teach you anything about how to deal with people's feelings." It would've been a jab, one that would've genuinely terrified Yaz in the context of the conversation, if not for Sammy's light, joking tone. Thank God they could joke with each other again. "Granted, I could be more upfront sometimes. Not like I ever really tried to tell you how upset I was while you were gone."

"But you were upfront in Italy, and I was a jerk," Yaz said. "I didn't mean to be, but I was."

"Little bit," Sammy agreed. "I'll forgive you this time, but I don't ever wanna hear anything like that again, Missy." 

It didn't even need saying. Yaz had been way out of line, and she knew it. She also knew what was at stake if she continued to let bad situations get the better of her and dictate her behavior. It could never happen again. Sammy was too important. 

"Never again."

"And the thumbs up emoji is banned from now on," Sammy declared. "When I text you, I better see words."

"Words and hearts," Yaz conceded. 

"Damn right." Sammy gave her a little nudge in the side. "Now how about you get some sleep? You've got second watch in an hour, and I'm not letting you sleep in just because you're my girlfriend."

That was, quite literally, the best thing Sammy could have possibly said to her. 

"Okay." She stood slowly, reluctant to part, but knowing they would be close again soon. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Yaz."

Yaz walked back over to the pile of leaves that would have to do for bedding tonight and laid down. It was cold and extremely uncomfortable, but she couldn't help feeling a little giddy anyway. Maybe the environment was less than ideal, and maybe she was still in danger, and maybe she was even still on thin ice with Sammy, but she found it difficult to worry too much about all that right now. 

They'd managed a real conversation. They'd come to an understanding. They were going to try again. Yaz hadn't lost everything after all. 

She had her girl back, and despite everything else going on, that was all that mattered tonight. 

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