#and yes I know that it’s not really a Mandela effect if I’m the only one being sure it was different. I’m just an idiot I know but idc

[massivestudentkitty]

I have my very own mandela effect and it drives me fucking crazy

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[thestobingirlie]

say it with me the biggest villains are the duffers brother +their writers

let’s not forget Steve was meant to r word Nancy and kid you not someone had to step in and be like “nuh-uh” and the same original script had excessive use of “f” slur about 6 SIX times, in one script for a supposed pilot.. thank god that script got changed but yet these ADULT men found a way to sexualize teen girl via making Jonathan take those pictures.. they were denied “assaulting” Nancy via boy so they found another way to make it creepy, that’s why the show never addresses it because they screw up and pretend like it never happened, there is a whole Mandela effect about the 1x02 scene but istg in our country the scene was whole with Jonathan clicking on the camera with seeing it from his pov. I don’t even blame Steve/Jonathan for their actions as it seems like it’s just like duffer brothers using both stonathan as their self-insert while imaging some perverse memories from their high school days or something, or they got their inspiration from revenge of the nerds.

i think… that montauk steve (the original script) and the photos aren’t exactly comparable. if only because in the montauk script, steve was an antagonist. a stephen king, human villain, kind of character. the rape would’ve been looked down upon, not glossed over like the pictures.

don’t get me wrong, i do think it still falls into torture porn territory, and there’s really no need for it, but i wouldn’t say montauk steve was their self-insert.

i think there’s a difference between including something in media, and trying to romanticise it. the peeping tom trope was common in the 80s, but i think it should’ve been something they tried to reverse, rather than recreate.

(and don’t worry, i’m pretty sure that whole thing about getting rid of jonathan taking the photos wasn’t true. it’s still in the show.)

i do totally get what you’re saying about blaming the duffers, not the characters, for inconsistent writing decisions, but i don’t think that means that characters actions shouldn’t be criticised. yes, the duffers wrote jonathan taking the photos, but jonathan still took them lol. they’re characters, not people.

obviously i’m not the duffers, i’ll never know why they decided not to truly acknowledge how disgusting the photos are. but i imagine they just didn’t think that seriously about it. jonathan was their love interest for nancy. they thought they needed the picture of the demogorgon, and they needed a reason for steve to blow up. i think very little thought was put into it about nancy, and that’s why she has so little reaction

[gravitycreature]

who wants to hear the gravity falls themed nightmare that had me waking up shaking with terror?!??! yes of course you do!!

anyways:

i was dreaming from the perspective of robbie valentino working in a facility where i had to keep things in order, but then a human lady who somehow got a human strain of twisted copper disease (fictional disease i made up that only formchangers, my original furry shapeshifting species, can get) and it was up to me to try and keep her under control until we at the facility could figure out how to cure it without atlantish amphibiweed (seaweed that can grow either underwater or on land that was the only cure to twisted copper. this plant, of course, was native to atlantis). I was a formchanger and i occasionally switched forms to get places but i only ever saw my hands so i don’t know what the full form looked like. The woman was extremely creepy and she was reminiscent of the mandela catalogue’s gabriel. she had the unsettling stretched eyes and her hair was black, as were her iris and pupil because of the twisted copper. she kept giggling and telling me to “why not try dancing” before she would contort in horrifying ways and say “like this”, her arms were horrifyingly malformed and she staggered around like she could barely walk

at the end of the dream, i was so tired and i couldn’t keep up anymore and i was so tired of following around somebody i knew couldn’t be saved and she cornered me before lifting my hand that i was too weak to wrench out of her grasp and licking it, thus giving me twisted copper disease and effectively dooming humanity because i was the only person capable of keeping her under control

i woke up, of course, shaking and struggling to convince myself i was safe!

some other things i remember:

somehow, stanford was involved. i dont know if he was one of the previous victims of the disease who had to be killed because he couldn’t be contained the way the woman could be or if he was still out there or if he was one of the people trying to fix the woman or what. either way, i remember him being mentioned to me multiple times

at some point, i was running around a sports stadium looking for the woman because she escaped the facility, and my friends (or robbie’s friends, since this was from robbie’s perspective) kept distracting me and asking what was wrong and i couldn’t tell them because my mission was of the utmost secrecy

something about seeing the woman made me really sad, and now that i think about it as im typing this, i never saw wendy anywhere. even when i saw other gravity falls characters. and i’m realizing that i think wendy was the infected woman. shit

dipper and mabel kept asking me abt what i was doing, dipper with more suspicion than mabel which.. fair. i was dreaming from robbie’s perspective and he and dipper dont exactly like each other in canon

for more context on the atlantis thing, formchangers’ ancestors are from atlantis and can visit the atlantis gardens, which somehow did not get waterlogged when the city sunk, through portals. however, in the dream, something must have happened to finish taking it out because i could not go to atlantis to just pick up the amphibiweed

anyways please enjoy this post that i am making in an attempt to stop being disturbed whenever i think about this nightmare lol

[oopsallpolics]

Oh I didn’t mention about Origami earth is that:

The Info War of Origami Earth should be a non-partisan issue, democrats, republicans, Anarchists, fascists, death cultists, wokeist moralists, My God, THE HORRORS, normal people, gamers, and The Rest really have 95% of our interests aligned in this matter, to make it a partisan issue is to make a fool of yourself. Unfortunately, as they say: ‘When in the circus…’, as CERTAIN political factions

I don’t support the agendas of the Death Cults, I ultimately see their agendas as a larger enemy than Origami Earth Denialism however those agendas are millions of years out ((mostly)) and the Info War is now, we need Allie’s, and the Death Cults are the Truest Believers You’re Gonna Get As Allie’s. They commit a lot of violence anyways, better that violence Reveal The Truth instead of Let it also be known that I FULLY support your right to personally worship in a death cult, and have been known to do so myself… from time to time.

oopsallpolic2040

What’s the best way to add a COGNITOHAZARD warning to my previous post? Is there a commonly accepted writing practice on this sight?

senseless violence is not the answer. And it isn’t in most circum.

super Mario Galaxy was messaging done to origami-pill children… super Mario Galaxy 2 was a psy op meant to de-program the origami pill after I’m guessing somebody at Nintendo was shot. Sadly therE IS NO Super Mario Galaxy 3 And super Mario Galaxy 4 is- I’m launching a deeper investigation as a college elective

Oopsallpolic2044#theelectionwasstolenforrealsiesthistimeihavethemonvideo* *(‘Ihavethemonvideo’ is an audio clip from Alex Jones as an Indie Rap. I do not endorse support or follow Alex Jones.)

Yes Geocentrism, but not in the way you think. And it’s kind of a Geo/Helio hybrid with more going on, I love Modern Secret Astronomy, but by Jove does it drive one Mad

Edit: further notes::-

see the Mandela effect is something that is rumored in many timelines, and it usually has the same name ‘The Mandela Effect’, but most timelines actually have a unique reason for the name ( ‘Mandela’ vs ‘Mandala’, Nelson Mandela surviving prison, the Mandela Catalogue fictionalizing the concept in Season 8, being discovered by The Mandela Group, etc), and I’m pretty sure it’s because timelines are merging as Earth (origami) and the Solar System (noticeably less sophisticated origami) are trapped behind the event horizon of an imperceptible gravity hole, also Scientifically the Mandela effect should really refer to all the things your brain immediately doesn’t notice when you slide between timelines. Somebody told me about a study once, some guy went between timelines - 120 years back in time, not a single person or thing he knows in sight, speaking a language from a different continent than the people he meets, and most of those people are a different species of hominid - and the only discrepancy (“Mandela Effect”) anyone in that timeline originally noticed was that he was confused about which books of the Bible were canon. That instant neurological adaptation is the Mandela effect. Please note: do not try this at home, sometimes it kills you (or gives you some other weird condition), and other times all kinds of other things happen - every dimension is different. Anyways Origami’ing our own Solar System is the only way to escape this Event Horizon, or go in TheHole… if you ask me.

[elizabeethan]

Mandela Effect

On their way to Storybrooke, Emma becomes confused at the spelling of Killian's infamous bologna.

Takes place during Walk With Me, chapter 2, in which Killian, Emma, Henry, and Corrine are on their road trip from New York to Storybrooke.

Rated G

~1400 words

Read on Ao3

Read the Series on Tumblr

This was born after some discourse on tumblr about the bologna that Killian was force fed in jail, and I still maintain that the spelling of Oscar Mayer has changed. Based on a post by @thesschesthair and the response by @shipswreckedme, and on a brief chat in the discord with @gingerpolyglot.

~~~~

The car is silent as Swan bobs and weaves between cars, grumbling about their speed and moving her foot in a way that makes her own yellow death-trap travel even faster. She calls it traffic, complaining about it endlessly and groaning as they approach other slowing cars in front of them. 

 After what feels like hours, after Corrine and Henry have fallen asleep, she finally shuts off the music player with a huff. She mentions something about leaving at a bad time, about how they should have left earlier to avoid such heavy traffic, but he knows not much different. This isn’t the first time he’s been transported from New York to Storybrooke, but it is the first time he’s gone willingly. And while the seatbelt serves to tie him down to the chair, he knows it’s more of a safety measure than a means to keep him still. 

 Truthfully, he doesn’t care how they get there. All he wants now is to get her back to Maine so that she can break the curse. Maybe once she does, he’ll have a chance to get to know his daughter. 

 “How was your burger?” she asks him quietly, careful not to cause the children to stir. 

 “It was delicious,” he responds. It was; he’s beginning to like these modern foods. With the exception of… “Much better than the bloody bologna.” 

 She laughs, snorts, and the sound makes him smile like the fool that he is. He’s a fool for her, and he has been for the last two years that he’s been gone. 

“Was it in sandwich form?” she asks, clarifying further, “like, on Wonder Bread that tasted like cardboard?”

 “Aye, that’s right,” he agrees, shuddering at the memory. The texture of the bread, of the meat that can’t legally be considered meat… it was horrifying. 

 “I’m actually really sorry,” she laughs. “I had to take that for lunch as a kid in a lot of foster homes. All I wanted was a peanut butter and jelly.”

 He has no idea what she means by that, but he refuses to ask for clarification when she’s opening up about her past. “No one felt the desire to give you what you wanted?” 

 “No.” She brushes him off easily, effectively refusing to get into it with him. “Ugh, and there was that jingle! The kid who sang about Oscar Mayer, remember?” He wants to deadpan at her but she’s focused on the road. “Oh, no, you don’t. But there was a jingle.”

 “I believe you,” he smiles. 

 “Grab my phone,” she commands unexpectedly, gesturing for it. “Open it up and find the app with the TV as the picture. It’s brown. Yeah, that one.”

 He taps on the picture with his finger, confused but not altogether surprised when the magic box morphs and a new image displays on the front of it. She instructs him to find a magnifying glass and type in some letters-- O-S-C-A-R-M-E-Y-E-R, she spells. 

 The song that plays is short, irritating, and Killian rejoices when it ends, until Emma reaches her hand across the center console and slaps it against his arm. “Wait, go back,” she insists, and he wants to groan at the thought of hearing the cloying voice again. “How did the kid spell it?” 

 “Ah, you’ve misspelled the name, Swan,” he tells her with a smile. “It’s M-A-Y-E-R, at least according to this bloody annoying child.”

 “No, that’s wrong,” she shakes her head. “It’s M-E . Why would it be A ?”

 He stays quiet, raising a brow at her in confusion and an uncertainty of how to answer her question. 

 “Mama,” he hears from the back of the car, and a grin grows across his face quickly. 

 “No, it’s not M-A ,” she laughs. “Right, Coco?” 

 “Mama,” she says again. “Up.”

 Emma sighs, checking the time on her dashboard and turning on her turn signal. He’s gathered that it means she intends to move the car into another lane, and she glides across the road until she’s all the way to the right. “I guess we could use a break,” she concedes. “Someone probably needs their butt changed.”

 “Butt,” Corrine agrees. 

 Emma changes the lass in the back of her car with quick expertise, barely taking more than a minute to complete the task and somehow able to do so despite her squirming. Once she’s finished, Corrine stands on her own, shoving Emma’s helpful hands out of her way and waddling uneasily towards the edge of the car. Emma and Killian both dive for her, intent on preventing her from tumbling out of the car, and collide awkwardly as they catch her. 

 Killian’s hand wraps around Corrine’s ribs under her arm, Emma’s own arm wrapping around the babe until her hand lands on top of his. They’re close in proximity, each of them holding up their child, and it’s one of the first times that he’s realizing… Corrine is their child . She’s beautiful and funny and smart and perfect and they made her. 

 He wants to do so much, and yet he doesn’t move. He isn’t sure what he could possibly do, but he knows he wants to lean towards the mother of his child and trap her in a kiss. He isn’t able to, though, because Corrine turns her head to stare at him before screaming, “Up!”

 He catches Emma shaking her head, clearing her throat softly, before she backs away with an awkward smile, letting Corrine jump into his arms and carefully standing by in what he assumes is caution. He only has one hand, after all, and he can’t blame her for being nervous. She tells him that she’s going to check on Henry, gives Corrine a soft kiss on the back of her head, and starts towards the large building behind them. 

 “We’ll have to teach you down ,” he says with a smile as she drops her curly head against his chest. 

 “Up,” she responds simply. “Wock.”

 He thinks for a moment, recalling the last time they stopped and her souvenirs, and responds, “you want another rock? There’s no field at this… well, I’m not sure what one would call a place like this. The last one had a field, but this one has merely a building.”

 “Wock.”

 “Hmm,” he hums. “I wonder if we might find one. Shall we take a look around?”

 “Wock!” she shouts. 

 After perusing the firm, expansive surface and finding a few rocks that piqued her interest, they return to the car and see Emma and Henry staring at her phone intensely. He hears them from a distance, Emma’s voice carrying easily, and he smiles. 

  “I swear, it was spelled with an E .”

 “ It’s called a Mandela Effect, mom, ” Henry tells her. “ See? A bunch of people thought that.”

 When Killian approaches, Corrine happily gripping her rocks in her chubby fists, Emma gives him a look that’s somewhere between satisfaction and irritation. “I was right,” she tells him. “Henry says it’s the Mandela Effect. I’m not the only one who thought it was spelled with an E .” 

 With a chuckle, he asks, “Are you still talking about the bloody bologna, Swan? 

 “I’m not willing to let this go,” she tells him seriously, although the smile she gives him makes his heart flutter. 

 “Very well,” he concedes. 

 “Wock,” Corrine says, displaying her closed fists to her mother. 

 “You got more rocks?” she asks excitedly as she shifts her attention from Henry’s screen to the rocks Corrine shows her. “Did you and--” she stops short, clearing her throat. “Killian helped you get those rocks, huh?”

 “Yah!” she shouts, flapping her arms until Killian nearly has to put her down. Staring back at him, she explains, “Coco wock.”

 “Yes, that’s Corrine’s rock. It’s very pretty.”

 “Yah,” she agrees. 

 “Ready?” Emma asks after a few more minutes of Corrine kicking her rocks along the pavement. “Shouldn’t be too much longer.”

 “Aye, love,” he agrees, noting the way Henry’s head snaps up from his phone to glare at him. 

 He knows what’s coming. He knows they don’t have much more road to travel before they arrive in Storybrooke with her parents. He wonders if Neal is there, or if any of them will remember. A curse struck the Enchanted Forest; does that mean her family’s memories have been wiped too? 

 It doesn’t matter. 

 Emma will fix it. 

~~~~

~~~~

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @hookedmom

[darkacademicfrom2021]

The Dark Team (part 5)

<<Previous part Masterlist   Next part>>   

Join the taglist in here (Taglist: @lucywrites02, @louieboo87)

“You gotta be kidding”, scoffed Bucky, entering the tiny hotel room. Loki, hiding his face between his hands, muttered something among the lines of “so hideous my own mother would throw up”.

“Sorry Bucks, that’s all I could get if you’re staying that far away from the last Hydra base you had contact with. Take turns to sleep or something and don’t fuck up too much”, said Tony from the other side of the line.

“It’s fine”, you said, throwing your bags on the side of one of the two individual beds. “I won’t sleep tonight, I have to figure this out. You guys try to get some rest and I’ll sleep after”.

“After what?”.

“I don’t know, after Christmas, Odinson. What are we talking about?”.

“Wow, mean”.

“I’ll take the one near the window, it’d be easier to throw myself off it in case you two want to keep doing that”, said Bucky.

Loki laid down on the other bed without taking his coat off, adopting a mummy-like position. He kept his eyes open. Incredibly creepy, you thought. Bucky took off his jacket and shoes and jumped on the bed, getting absorbed by it. You know, like a normal person would.

“Ahh, this mattress is gonna do wonders to my back ache”.

“Old man”, you laughed from the floor. You distributed different laptops with information, a pile of papers and files you knew you needed to have on paper, a huge map full of points marked, and a cup of coffee none of them realized you had made in the first place. Bucky muttered to himself "how the fuck..." but you paid no mind.

The sky darkened faster than you imagined, and the only lights in the room were the bright screens in front of you. Your phone started ringing and you glanced at the sleepy boys. Both looked completely passed out. You made your way to the balcony, closed the door behind you, and finally answered.

“Hey Pete”.

“Dude, you won’t believe this”.

“Probably not”.

“I had a dream that I think it wasn’t a dream. I think it was a memory”.

“Mhm”.

“It’s about Mr. Loki”.

“Alright”.

“Can you at least pretend you care?”.

“I care, bro. Don’t stress it. It’s just… Sorry, I’m really tired. Been fighting all day with that asshole. And the only time he didn’t get all snarky on me was when I was on the verge of sweet and peaceful death”.

“You… you were what”.

“Anyways, what was that dream about?”.

“I’m telling you, it was a memory. And it was from Mr. Loki, and I think it has to do with…”.

“Hold it. I can’t take you seriously if you call him Mr. Loki. It’s like I called you Mr. Peter. It’s absurd”.

“He has no last name”.

“Odinson”.

“That’s not a last name, that’s who he’s son of”.

“I don’t know how Mythology works, alright? Wait, so you think we collectively forgot something about him? As in the Mandela Effect?”.

“Didn’t he have mind powers? I’m telling you, I think he is actually up to something. Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that us from all…”, he kept conspiring, but an all-too-familiar voice interrupted his ramblings.

“Hello, midgardian. It’s about time. Do you have the plan already?”.

“Yes”.

“Good. Rest and we’ll do it after”.

“Do you mind?”, you pointed at his bed.

“Not at all”.

You cut the call with Peter after saying goodbye and went to Loki’s bed. As you laid your head on the pillow, you felt the warmth still in there. It was sort of comforting, in an unusual way. It even smelled a bit like him, though you weren’t sure how you already knew the scent. Your eyelids fell heavy as soon as you allowed them to, and you passed out for at least four hours. When you woke up, the morning was barely starting to lighten up the city, and Loki and Bucky were having a staring contest. Or something like that.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were about to make out”.

“Eugh, gross”, said Loki, rolling his eyes.

“Hah, you pulled your eyes away first. I win”.

“Oh, was that the purpose of this? I was just gazing at your dreamy and soft blue eyes, Barnes”.

“I can cut the air with your sexual tension", you said, chuckling.

“The only thing that will be getting cut is your neck. With my knives”.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart”, mocked Bucky, totally getting into the rol. Loki got up with a tiny smile. Deep down, he was enjoying the friendly chattery.

You began explaining the development of the mission. It was quite easy actually. You needed a stick; that pendrive was always on a Hydra worker, and there were three possible individuals. You were three. It was almost as if it was made for the Dark Team.

The first part of the plan was directed by Bucky. He had to kidnap the first suspect and make him think he was the terrifying Winter Soldier. In that fear, he’d take some information out without having to actually harm him physically (or maybe just a little, you know, the whole abduction part).

The second part should be done at the same time than the first one, and this one belonged to the God of Lies. Loki had to pretend to be the man Bucky had kidnapped, and make small talk, little conversations with his coworkers to get a general idea of where the stick could be. Take out information in the most unnoticed way he could.

The third part had to be synchronized in half of the second one. Loki had to pull the third suspect away from his office, whatever the reason. You’d infiltrate in the office and go through his stuff. You studied and analyzed his personality briefly through his social media; he wasn’t the kind of guy to keep something important like that on himself. He had to have it locked away somewhere safe. Preferably on a Hydra base, because what’s safer than that? Who could possibly break in?

“Whichever finds the stick first, lets the other teammates know and we all leave as fast as we can. It’s a matter of minutes until the alarm goes off after that pendrive is out of the building; it has a sensor”, you finished.

“Sounds good”.

“And if something goes wrong?”.

“I have a plan B, C and D for the possible outcomes. Don’t worry”. You handed them earbuds and clipped barely visible microphones to their clothes. “Don’t lose this, otherwise we have no means to communicate. And remember we’re a team, and we behave like such. Every modification to the original plan goes through the other two, understood?”.

“Clear as water”.

“Let’s get working, then”.

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Double Standards (Part 2)

Part 1

Trigger Warning: Mentions of toxic parents, transphobia, mentions of past abuse, dead naming, wrong pronoun usage, low self esteem, unhealthy coping mechanisms, ableism, seasonal depression, thoughts of suicide and self harm. The Remus angst train will not be stopping.

They sat in their room trying to ignore their spiralling thoughts. They should have known better than to slip up and make a comment about their gender identity at dinner.

They'd known it wouldn't go down well and yet they'd still said something. Remus blamed it on their impulsivity and desire to feel validated for once.

Things had started off ok at first. They'd been forced out shopping with their mother and had come across another enby in the wild which had been great. They'd had a discussion about preferred pronouns while their mum and Roman had been in earshot.

Roman had of course been a complete ass the whole time round the shops and Remus was still furious about the leaves incident but they managed to hold themselves back from doing anything rash like breaking his nose which they felt was incredibly nice of them.

The individual at the checkout had given Remus a sudden boost in confidence and rekindled their motivation to correct their parents when they slipped up.

With this new energy they corrected their mother and the three of them (Remus, Roman and their mother) also ended up having a conversation about the LGBTQ+ on the journey home.

All in all things were going good and when they got home they decided to take the cashiers words to heart.

They had told Remus that their 5 year old cousin respected their pronouns and name more than their parents and so with this knowledge in mind Remus decided to talk to Patton.

"Hey Patton? My name is Remus now and instead of saying she or her when talking about me, I'd prefer you to use They and Them."

Patton had looked up at them with barely a moments hesitation and replied "Ok Remus."

Remus felt like their heart was going to burst at Pattons words and they couldn't fight the enormous smile that spread across their lips, especially as Patton continued to use Remus instead of their deadname.

Then dinner happened.

Everyone was sitting around the table as usual when Remus's mum used their deadname when speaking to them. Remus sighed but felt a little reluctant to correct her in front of their father, unsure if his infamous temper would explode at Remus 'backchatting' their mum.

Patton of course spoke up then, slipping up slightly thanks to hearing the deadname being used.

"It's Remus."

Remus was surprised when Roman spoke up on their behalf and was immediately suspicious, frowning slightly at his sudden jump to their defence.

"I call you Remus but mummy calls you [Deadname}" Patton stated, looking directly at their mother.

"That's because I named her after a friend of mines younger sister who died while I was pregnant with her."

Remus winced slightly, already having heard this story many times before. They avoided eye contact with their mother as she continued.

"The names I used to name her carry significant meaning to me so if I forget to call her Remus it's because of that. My friends sister was only 13 when she died and I swore to name you after her in her memory."

Remus just managed to stop from sliding down in their seat, guilt and shame suddenly weighing heavily on them as they thought on their mothers words.

Maybe they should have chosen something closer to their mothers friends sisters name? Maybe then there wouldn't have been as much issue with the whole nonbinary thing?

"I don't even know why you changed your name to Remus anyway? Names shouldn't define your gender. You didn't have to change your name, besides they're pretty much the same anyway."

Remus stared at Roman in shock and horror as they registered his words and felt sick as their mother made a noise of agreement and everyone seemed to just carry on with dinner as if nothing had happened.

When dinner ended Remus made a beeline straight to their room where they proceeded to think and overthink everything that had just happened.

All the stuff their family said weighed on them heavily to the point where they stared off into space for a bit as a horrifying thought crossed their mind.

What if they were faking all this? What if they weren't really nonbinary and it was just all a ploy for attention?

Thoughts of a similar nature bounced around their head, driving them mad with panic and making them rethink everything.

Stressed and in disarray Remus paced up and down, shaking their hands in a way similar to how they usually stimmed.

Eventually they sat down at their computer and tried to distract their buzzing mind with YouTube or music. It didn't have much of an effect.

Eventually they contacted Logan and let him know what had happened. As usual he was logical and spoke sense, even when Remus wasn't in a state to really register it.

His words somewhat reassured Remus. For now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still feeling down from what had happened a couple days previously Remus didn't make as much of an effort to correct Patton or Roman anymore but sometimes their brothers would remember on their own.

Remus spent a lot of time trying to figure out why their parents seemed to have such an issue with their identity but there wasn't really anything they could come up with except their parents were just stuck in the way they'd been brought up.

Things eventually reached boiling point at dinner a few nights later.

Dinner always seemed to be the catalyst for shit hitting the fan. It was probably because that was the only time the entire family was present in the same room for extended periods of time.

It all started with Roman doing an impression of Stitch. It wasn't terrible but it was mildly annoying to Remus's ears. They'd rather eat dinner in peace.

"are you doing a Nelson Mandela impression?" Their mother asked, grinning like she'd made a hilarious joke.

"What? It's Stitch from Lilo and Stitch." Roman and Remus said at the same time, sharing confused looks which became exasperated as their mother continued.

"It sounds exactly like Nelson Mandela, you racist." She laughed, loud and grating on Remus's ears as she nudged their father who was also grinning.

Roman glared at the two of them and tried to again reiterate that it was an impression of Stitch.

"You're a racist, it's exactly the same as Nelson Mandela's voice." their father said, speaking over Roman which was a sure fire way to set off his infamous temper.

"I'm not racist! I don't even know what he sounds like, I was just doing an impression of a cartoon character. Not knowing that my Stitch impression sounds like..."

"That's how racism starts, ignorance!" both their parents were laughing now and Remus wanted nothing more than to shout for them to stop but they kept their mouth shut, something Roman had never learnt to do as he once again spoke up.

"Out of everyone here, you guys are the most racist. You continuously use outdated terms and words that are considered offensive in our current time period."

"Oh we're racist are we?"

"Yes! You're the least PC people in our whole family."

Their mother scoffed while their father was still grinning and shaking his head in disbelief at Romans words.

"The whole family? Even grandad?"

"Yes actually, at least grandad doesn't say anything homophobic or too racist in front of us."

"Actually I think it's the fact that you pretend to be better than him but you're on the same level when it comes to outdated and offensive comments and words."

For once Remus and Roman were working together to try and stop their parents from being as bigoted and offensive.

Perhaps it was the fact they were actually working together or maybe it was just because they had no response, the dining room fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence.

After a few moments of silence their mother spoke up once again, eyes locked onto Remus.

"are you going to change your middle name too?"

"wha..?" Remus was completely caught off guard by the question.

"Are you going to change the middle name? I mean it has sentimental meaning and your nan was so happy when i told her I was using her middle name for yours. You were her first grandchild. so are you going to change it?"

Remus struggled to come up with a response, feeling like they were being interrogated and put on the spot.

Once again Roman came to their defence.

"You can't pressure someone into going by a name they don't identify with by telling them it has meaning to you. It has meaning to you but it's not how they identify and it's selfish to expect them to stick with it just because of your feelings about the name."

"I named her after my friends little sister who died!"

"Yes, we know, you keep saying but it's still not fair to Remus to basically emotionally blackmail them into sticking with a name they don't identify with."

Remus watched their mother and brother in shock, a warm feeling in their chest at the fact Roman was sticking up for them in such a way.

The warm feeling was immediately replaced by dread as their father spoke up, his grin still in place but it quickly disappeared.

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want to. If you don't like it then you can fuck off. It's my fucking house and I'll fucking say what I fucking want to. And Remus is a stupid fucking name. You're [Deadname]. Don't like it? Then move out!"

With each word their father said the room grew more and more tense and Remus felt their eyes prickling as the dread was replaced with hurt at the knowledge their parents would clearly never accept them as they truly were.

They remained silent, staring down at their plate, trying to ignore the few tears starting to trail down their face.

They focused on shovelling food into their mouth, anticipating the end of dinner when they could make a bid for freedom to their room and breakdown in privacy.

As subtly as they could Remus wiped their eyes, determined not to let either of their parents see just how much their words had effected them. Plus Remus didn't want to give their father an excuse to have a go at them for being weak/overreacting.

Eventually both parents left the table and Roman and Remus were alone in the dining room with the task of clearing up.

Roman was still furious at the conversation during dinner and kept trying to talk to Remus about it but Remus was very aware of their mother being in the other room and the fact Roman tended to get louder when talking about something he was passionate about so they shushed him and made a point of reminding him of where they were.

Eventually Remus was able to escape back to their room and that's when they fully allowed their walls to crumble.

The reality of what the disastrous dinner conversation meant hit them full force and for the first time in a while old urges began to plague their mind.

They collapsed into their computer chair and sobbed silently into their hands, a skill they'd had to learn out of necessity many years ago due to various things.

The little voice in their head they thought they'd finally managed to silence began whispering and Remus clenched their hands into fists in their hair, trying their best to ignore it as it seemed to get louder.

The temptation to give in was overwhelming as the fact they could never safely be their true self around their parents began to really sink in. Then a small spark of hope hit them as they remembered someone who had always been supporting them and fighting their corner, no matter what.

Logan.

In a last ditch effort to rid themself of the old self destructive urges they sent Logan a message and filled him in on how dinner had gone.

It didn't take long for Logan to respond with an optimistic message about getting them out of there as soon as possible and reassuring Remus that their name was just as beautiful as their last and that their father was being an asshole.

Remus felt slightly better but their thoughts were still spiralling and they couldn't ignore the awful feeling welling up inside them as a question filled their mind that they had no answer to.

Why can't they accept me?

They sent Logan this question, still wiping tears from their face as they waited for his response.

Logan replied and Remus scowled, ignoring the fresh tears that spilled down their face as they told Logan that he couldn't promise that they would accept them eventually, that's not how life works.

Logan tried to bring up the fact that Remus's parents had accepted their sexuality but Remus scoffed and pointed out that the real reason their parents had 'accepted' their sexuality is because they were with Logan so for all intents and purposes they could kid themselves that Remus was straight as they were with a guy.

Logan told them that they'd do anything and everything they could in the future to use Remus's name around them as much as possible until they couldn't help but use it themselves.

Remus didn't think that would work but didn't say that, instead choosing not to reply as they couldn't think of anything else to say. Instead they began blasting music at full volume to try and drown out their thoughts.

They lost themself in their music and even began drawing, an old coping mechanism they rarely used anymore but it was a much healthier one than the one they were trying their hardest to ignore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days seemed to pass without much incident, the explosive dinner being forgotten and ignored by everyone as if it never happened.

Of course it was all Remus could think of as they went through the motions of everyday life, wincing every time Patton called them Remus instead of getting the warm feeling of validation because they were terrified their father might get angry again at the reminder.

There was a moment when Remus was trying to escape to their room and their father wanted them to come back downstairs and so he shouted "Oi! Woman!"

Remus felt a wave of revulsion wash through them and grit their teeth to fight down the urge to scream, instead standing at the top of the stairs and answering like nothing was wrong.

As time passed the intrusive thoughts seemed to increase in regularity, every trip downstairs they had thoughts of throwing themselves down them, washing their hands they held their hands under the hot tap as long as they were able and sometimes out of nowhere the urge to scratch at their skin until it bled would overwhelm them.

They managed to fight through these situations by reminding themselves of Logan and their friends but there were a few close calls where they only just kept themselves from doing anything.

It didn't help that it was starting to get closer to the time of year Remus dreaded most.

Christmas.

They loved winter but Christmas and all the things that came with it was a nightmare.

It was a time they couldn't help but associate with awful times.

So many years they'd spent in their room crying over some sort of family crisis or just generally feeling unwanted and they came to hate it more and more as the years went by.

This year would probably be just as bad as ever as things had really took a downturn this year.

Losing people was never easy but Remus seemed to lose everyone around this time so there were various dates they dreaded in November and December.

It was also the time of year their mental health always plummeted and intrusive thoughts of times when they'd almost succeeded with something drastic were plentiful.

They didn't remember the exact dates of those moments but they didn't need to.

Luckily they had Logan and Virgil and Janus to fall back on. Without them Remus dreaded to think what might have happened.

They were in a better place mentally now than they had been and they had several coping mechanisms in place that were relatively healthy.

Nothing particularly big happened in the next week or so but there were a few small instances  which did start to add up, causing Remus's stress levels to reach almost breaking point.

They felt frustrated and ashamed that such tiny things could effect them so much and though they tried their best to ignore the minor inconveniences they started to pile up.

It started with a simple thing. Remus's parents suddenly started to buy a different brand of soft drink than usual due to price which was all well and good but Remus was used to the other one, the cheaper one tasted Wrong and Different and they felt slightly on edge.

The next thing was bigger and pissed Remus off a considerable amount. Their mother was already wrapping things for Christmas for their two youngest brothers and she had as always gone overboard with three black sacks full of wrapped gifts which she then handed to Remus.

"Wait what?" Remus asked, having zoned out midway through the conversation and making their mother huff in annoyance.

"I said go put these in your room somewhere Patton won't find them."

"But I don't have anywhere to put them!" Remus exclaimed indignantly and frowned as their mother raised her voice angrily.

"Where else do you suggest they be put? There's no room in mine and your dads room, Romans room also has no room and they can't stay down here. Just clear up some of the junk in your room and you'll have plenty of room."

Remus growled and muttered under their breath and reluctantly dragged the bags up to their room where they turned in circles in a frustrated moment of panic as they struggled to figure out where they could put them.

Despite what their mother had said they didn't actually have much room and while their room wasn't spotless it wasn't a complete mess like both parents liked to claim, it was just a very lived in space.

Eventually Remus ended up shoving the bags down the end of their bed and decided that if Patton saw them when he did his usual thing of bursting into their room then it wasn't their fault.

Still the bags at the end of their bed made them feel restless, the unfamiliar objects invading what they had considered their safe space but even without the bags of presents Remus was struggling to consider their room their safe place with each passing day.

The next change was a very large one. Despite only having it for two years Remus's parents had decided to get a new couch which had thrown Remus into a spiral of thoughts, none of them good. The different couch was larger than their previous ones and meant that when it came time to put the tree up there wouldn't be room where they used to put it, yay another change!

It would have to be put in front of the living room window where it would be very easy for Patton to bump into it and smash the glass decorations.

This thought sent Remus down a dark path of imagining laying in the wreckage of broken glass.

They shook this off and tried their best to stay as together as possible.

This worked slightly until the day the new sofa arrived.

Everything was hectic and there was lots of shouting from both parents which resulted in Remus falling back on an old coping mechanism.

To avoid breaking down in front of either parent Remus shut off their emotions. Or at least enough of them so they didn't end up crying.

The issue with this particular coping mechanism was Remus found it difficult to go back to 'normal' so to speak.

They were sort of glad that they were still able to block their emotions when their help was demanded with the tree.

The various decorations their mother had collected over the years usually would cause a torrent of various emotions but they remained rather unaffected through the whole process.

The snide comments and little digs barely registered as they monotonously helped decorate the tree.

The final decoration to be placed on the tree was a new one as it was every year due to family tradition. This year however it was a tribute to their mothers mum who'd died a few months back.

Their mum was instantly in floods of tears and Roman placed a hand on her shoulder, looking close to tears himself.

Remus watched as the decoration was placed on a branch and both clung to each other, teary eyed and sniffing.

Remus blinked a few times to try and escape the numb state they'd managed to get themself in but it was no use.

Their father in a rare moment of understanding gave them a small nudge and then lifted their hand and placed it on their mums shoulder.

They left their hand there for a few seconds before patting awkwardly, completely out of their depth right now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days they found themselves incapable of getting out of bed. They were tired all the time and would drift in and out of sleep throughout the day, only getting up to do housework.

Their thoughts were full of worst case scenario and thoughts of what they'd do if they didn't have Logan and Virgil and Janus.

None of them were good and all their thoughts seemed to have become twisted and dark.

It was reaching a point where even talking to their friends and Logan was becoming difficult.

They knew that isolating themself from such supportive individuals was a bad idea but they couldn't seem to stop. There were no brakes on the self destruct train.

They were managing to refrain from various things but as the month of December progressed they knew it would only get harder.

Tag List under the cut:

General tag list: @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @amethystdarkwolf @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102 @smedenn @corkeecoderyt @sopi-montezzz @illogicaldeath @deadpanstar @theanxiousfander @lesliealiceinwonderland @wicked-universe @anxious-is-the-name @a-black-pegasus @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @ace-the-weekly-doodler @luarpice @novusavis @the-life-ofa-troubled-ace @heck-im-lost @nerdy-as-heck @pansexual-cat @ravens-rambling @echomist13 @myownhappilyeverafter @im-a-sexy-mouse @xx-fandom-potato-xx @bisexualellaphants @redundant-statements-for-400 @noahlovescoffee @akl1 @love-ya-to-the-moon @misty2-0 @cdragontogacotar @shad-ster @chemicallyimbalancedromance @ivescottthis @flag-spinning-demiboy @moonstonefox12 @stupidfangirl107 @teegankitty @stormastrote @skylerskywing @oonagh-una @ab-artist @lydialightwood-bane @remythehero @amberrose80q3 @official-spookifers-child @amazonprimebox

[mallowstep]

Just out of curiosity what’s your opinion on leopardstar and blackstar?

leopardstar

have i mentioned how much i hate the new ask editor? i had to manually debold the text thrice. this text is here to make sure that everything is formatted correctly. and again, i had to click to create the bullets that's fucked up

anyway

reading crookedstar's promise and discovering i was right, she is hella spoiled, was very satisfying

also, okay, she's such a well written character. like, in a shadow in riverclan. it's just. so good.

i could go on a very long tangent here but in summary, we see a lot of really good characterization and i'd actually argue a shadow in riverclan sets up mistystar's isolationism.

(altho the fact that we don't have any riverclan pov is criminal i want to know what's happening erin)

okay anyway, that said, i'm really excited for her super edition. i would have preferred a blackstar super edition and leopardstar novella, but i'm really, really excited for it

crookedstar's promise was so good and i really hope leopardstar's honor carries the riverclan energy

but okay, the biggest leopardstar thing ever: is she a lesbian? and what's the deal with tigerclaw? (n.b. i've made the decision to refer to them as tigerclaw and tigerheart unless i need to call them tigerstar to avoid confusion.)

so. tigerclaw first. i...don't know. i think she was drawn to him in some way, definitely. but i think it was a combination of pride and fear that kept tigerclan going for so long

and like i said before, a shadow in riverclan really sold me on her

i would've said i had 0 thoughts on her if i hadn't read it

i wish we had more riverclan pov tbh because there's so much drama and intrigue. every leader since hailstar has been an interesting, nuanced, and complex character, and we've barely gotten to see any of it

that said, i...actually kind of like the super edition development of riverclan

like, i think leopardstar is better suited to a super edition, over main arc development, because it will give us the time we need to really sit with her emotions

the alternative would be to cut down the pov across books, and while i'm happy to see we've started to cut down, i doubt we'll ever get six books with just one pov

but i digress; my point is, i like the super edition model for riverclan because when you force a book to be one clan, one character, you have to develop an interesting and rich world for them.

now, am i possibly setting myself up to be disappointed? yes. super editions are wildly hit or miss, and i don't know what their current quality is like because:

i refuse to read crowfeather's trial (even if it has ashfoot)

squilf's hope contained only the sisters. nothing else. that's all. otherwise her desire to save bramblestar would make 0 sense, so it contained only and exclusively the sisters.

i have a weird mandela effect where my brain tells me greystripe's vow came out in 2011. precisely 2011.

anyway, i'm very off topic, i'm just really hoping leopardstar's honor is good because i really, really want it to be

(otherwise i'm just going to have to write a long leopardstar fic)

(i might anyway when i was writing the bone pile scenes in "where the spirit meets the bones" i got ideas)

okay, uh, moving on

blackstar

boy they sure did him dirty

don't get me wrong, blackfoot's reckoning made me cry, just a lil.

i don't usually like the novellas: hollyleaf's story was good, and there are occasional really good ones, but for the most part, i find them disappointing

i still haven't recovered from the 5d10 psychic damage and 3 levels of exhaustion that reading leafpool's wish gave me

but i digress, blackstar

uh...i think he's interesting, but i don't have a ton of thoughts

i know i said i would have preferred a super edition, and it's kind of because...he has a lot of potential?

seeing his guilt is really good. (erins take notes: leaders with no problems/fake problems = bad. leaders with deep character flaws that have negative externalities = good.)

anyway, seeing his struggle to restore shadowclan, especially with the knowledge that he will ultimately fail, is really good

i kind of have this theory that shadowclan was never a "villain" clan. like, it's a new thing. because, well, cats like the shadows. they belong in them.

and blackstar's struggle, just, mm. good shit.

as a character...i don't know.

ultimately, i think he's just. he's a character that deserves development, but i don't really know where to take it

except, uh, why the fuck does his mother name him blackkit? like? what??

and also; what happened to all the foot names? there was a time when we had three out of four deputies with foot (deadfoot, mistyfoot, and blackfoot), and just. uh. are we ever going to get another -foot?

(before anyone @'s me a

[jisungsmochi]

the bubble tea girl - ljn

bubble tea shop worker! reader + new employee! jeno hehe 

just a shit ton of fluff tbh i am so soft for jeno 

word count: 3.5k 

a/n: this is the second instalment of my nct dream job au hehe, please enjoy and as usual, i apologise for any mistakes :)) p.s look how cute he is 

//

you were standing outside the bubble tea store you worked at called, Tea-riffic. totally cheesy, but very popular. you were hanging up a ‘now hiring’ sign at the front window of the store. your manager was seeking new employees as many of your previous co workers had outgrown the small franchise and moved onto bigger job opportunities, you couldn’t really blame them. you had worked there for a little less than a year, and quite enjoyed your job.

after securing the sign, you headed back into the store to continue working. shortly after you had served a few customers, you noticed a boy with round glasses, wearing a black hoodie and some sweatpants, stop to read the sign outside. he made eye contact with you through the window, causing you to lose your train of thought and forget which order you needed to start. you saw him chuckle to himself at your actions but chose to disregard it and continue with your order.

part of you hoped that he would come back and apply, but that was just you being delusional.

the next day you came into work was three days later. you greeted your fellow coworkers before heading to the back to start on orders.

‘hey y/n, we got fresh meat’ your coworker, yeji joked. it was a term you used for all new employees, meaning someone had just applied and gotten a trial shift.

‘ahh yes, someone to torment’ you giggle before following her to a different area in the back, waiting to be introduced to the new trainee.

‘hey guys this is jeno, he’s here for a trial shift, i entrust that you will take care of him and help him if he asks’ your manager stated as you looked over at the boy. it was the same boy from days before but only this time, he wasn’t wearing glasses. you gave him a shy smile in which he returned.

‘y/n, since you’ve been here the longest out of everyone, could you just help him out today?’ your manager ordered as you nodded in response, ‘sure thing’

jeno looked stunned when he heard that you would be training him. he quickly followed you out to the registers.

‘i’ll formally introduce myself, i’m y/n’ you smile as you put your hand out for him to shake. he looked at you with his eye smile and returned your gesture,

‘ah hi i’m jeno’

‘great, now that we got that out of the way...working here isn’t as easy as you may think. everyone has a spillage count, i’m up to ten drinks in my entire time here.’ jeno chuckled softly at your words, making you pause for a bit before leading him to the register.

‘for now i’ll just show you how to take orders and later today we can switch over to the actual drinks, sound good?’ you gave him a friendly look, which made his nerves about this job, die down.

‘yeah that’s fine with me’ he responded as you began explaining the functions of the register as well as what questions to ask for the orders. to your surprise, jeno got the hang of it really quickly. it also helped that he was on the better looking side, as many girls would often stare at him for extended periods of time before collecting their order. you just shook your head in amusement before tapping his shoulder.

‘yes, y/n? how did i do?’ he asked, concerned about his progress.

‘trust me, you’re doing well! now this is the hard part, i’ll give you three chances if you mess up an order, it’s stated in the rules otherwise you can’t get hired. but i’m here to help!’ you assure him as he nervously bit his lip. he didn’t respond to you, which made you kind of upset to see him like this. you placed your hand on his shoulder before reassuring,

‘don’t overthink it, otherwise you’ll be prone to messing up! i’m here with you’ he looked over to you and just smiled and nodded,

‘thank you’ he muttered as you pulled him towards the drink station and started on your first order.

he often got confused along the way but eventually he started picking up the pace, with only having messed up one order, which he made up by apologising sweetly to the girl who just accepted the wrong drink anyway due to his innocent charm.

‘dang jeno, you have to stop charming these ladies otherwise we’ll have to make you work here every single day!’ you decided to joke, pushing his shoulder against yours.

‘my badddd’ he softly whined before your manager approached the both of you.

‘jeno, you’ve done really well today. your communication skills and work ethic has impressed me, you can start working here, i’ll email your roster to you soon’ they smiled as jeno gave you a high five, before thanking your manager.  

‘thanks for helping me today, y/n! i should treat you to something, want some tea?’ jeno offered, eyes bright.

‘jeno, i work at a bubble tea shop, i’ve had enough of tea for one day, let’s go get burgers, and we can get to know eachother since well we’ll be working together alot’ you offered in return, which made his entire face light up.

‘t-that sounds amazing, when should we go?’ he asked, pushing his hair back with his hand as he leans against the counter.

‘how about right now? i mean we are both off our shifts’ you keep smiling as jeno suddenly becomes more shy, he just nods and follows you out of the shop.

the rest of the night was spent with you and jeno talking about the most random things from the mandela effect to the tv show, teen wolf.

‘i’m telling i sobbed when allison died’ jeno explained to you as you were both seated across from eachother.

‘i felt that one, and aww you cried? that’s not very manly of you’ you sarcastically joked. he flashed you another eye smile which frankly just made you melt on the spot.

‘it’s getting late, i should head home. would you like me to walk you back to the shop?’ jeno offered, waiting for you to finish the last bite of the burger.

‘if you don’t mind! i don’t like walking alone when it’s dark’ you shyly admitted watching as he just nodded. you both walked side by side, continuing your conversation on which was the ultimate ship in teen wolf.

‘stydia!! come on! you can’t even deny it’ jeno became rambling making you want to argue back, playfully.

‘excuse me! theo and liam!’ you joked as he just rolled his eyes,

‘they weren’t even a couple’ he shook his head in amusement.

‘yeah yeah’ you muttered, softly judging him. it surprised you how easy it was to get along with him. he felt the same. jeno didn’t want this day to end.

‘i’ll see you tomorrow for your first official shift! glad you joined us, jeno!’ you smiled brightly as you both stopped outside the shop.

‘i’m glad i have you guiding me! get home safely! see you tomorrow!’ jeno waved before crossing the street to catch the next bus.

you made sure he got on the correct one before heading towards your car and driving home.

a few weeks into the job and things were sailing smoothly as usual. yeji’s spill count went up to twelve, making her the contender for the clumsiest employee you’ve had. jeno on the other hand, has had a whopping zero spills, which had you shocked.

‘you’re way too good at this! you probably worked at another store or something, was it the place a few blocks down?’ you playfully grilled him as you both were on your break.

‘let’s face it, i’m good at everything’ he just smirked before continuing to type on his phone.

you and jeno had somewhat gotten close, he didn’t attend your school, so you only crossed paths during work, but it was enough that you would both chatter the day away.

‘can one of you guys head out to the registers now? i’m off’ yeji greets as she hangs up her apron and grabs her bag, before waving to you both and leaving the store.

‘lets just both go’ jeno shrugs, shutting off his phone as you both made your way to the front. you decided you were gonna wipe down some tables whilst jeno serves customers. you were finished your final table when you saw jeno speaking to a girl who by the looks of her face, was becoming annoyed with him.

you slowly crept behind the counter, pretending you were organising the cups while eavesdropping on their conversation.

‘you can’t show up to my workplace’ jeno groans, trying to keep his calm. the girl crossed her arms before huffing in annoyance,

‘we have to talk soon! you can’t keep avoiding me’ she whines back, making you wonder what exactly they had to talk about.

‘what’s there left to say? we aren’t together anymore. you said no hard feelings, so stop following me around’ jeno seems to have fully lost it, unaware that his voice is becoming louder.

‘you can’t stop me, we have to discuss it all eventually’ the girl mutters under her breath in defeat before storming out of the store. jeno rubbed his temples, visibly shaken by the whole confrontation. you debated on whether or not you should comfort him. you looked over at him, he was hunched over behind the register.

‘you alright?’ you softly ask, unsure of his reaction.

‘yeah just fine, uh do you mind covering for me? i’m not feeling well at the moment’ jeno pleads, giving you the most vulnerable look you had ever seen from him. you nodded, ‘no problem, anything for a friend. feel better soon’ you smile softly before watching as he pat your shoulder and rushed out of the store.

whoever that girl was, clearly means or meant a lot to him.

you didn’t see him for a couple of days, mainly because he had called in sick for some of his shifts which made you worry. it wasn’t like you two were super duper close, but you thought he was close enough to atleast give you some explanation as to what went down a few days prior. you shook the thoughts of jeno out of your head, ready to serve the next customer.

‘hello! what would you like today?’ you smiled widely, before your expression almost instantly changed. it was the same girl from before, staring back at you.

‘is jeno working today?’ she got straight to the point, leaving you stunned.

‘oh um no he isn’t working today, i’m sorry’ you reply in the kindest way you could.

‘could you tell him i stopped by? my name is euntae’ she groaned to herself before leaving the store.

she had a lot of nerve to speak to you with disrespect, you were immediately alarmed by her presence, thus leading you to tell jeno all that happened when he had his next shift.

‘god she came again?’ jeno pulled at his hair, visibly frustrated with the presence of euntae.

‘who is she anyway? like your girlfriend or something?’ part of you was wishing he would say no.

‘used to be, not anymore. things ended badly and she’s just been following me at school and now work’ jeno sighed, sitting in the break room. you sat next to him and placed a hand to his shoulder.

‘do you want to talk about it?’ you calmly asked.

‘not really, it’s just, she hurt me bad. and i thought that keeping myself occupied would get my mind off the breakup but look what happened’ he placed his head in his hands. you felt so bad for him, you wished you could just embrace him.

‘well, how about we do something? like go to the park and ride bikes? anything to help you get your mind off her. and if you need, i’ll just give a heads up when she’s coming and you can duck under the counters’ you explained as he chuckled at that last part. his laugh made you feel warm inside.

‘you’d really do that for me? you’re amazing’ he muttered, not helping your nerves one bit. you blushed at his words and nodded,

‘as i said, anything for a friend’ you smiled at him in which he returned. why did that hurt you to say?

as you both expected, later that day, eunjae walked into the store, eyes out for jeno. you quickly signalled to him to duck in which he immediately caught on to.

‘sorry jeno’s not here’ you instantly stated, startling her.

‘did you tell him i came by?’ she crossed her arms, clearly annoyed.

‘he hasn’t been at work, sorry’ you shrug before walked away to complete orders. eunjae glared at you before storming out once again.

‘oh thank god, you are an angel’ jeno gives you a quick hug, instantly pulling away. you still treasured that fraction of intimacy with him, you’d wish he just do it again.

the next week, jeno came into work, greeting you with a quick side hug before beginning to take orders.

you and yeji were making drinks when she started interrogating,

‘what’s up with you and jeno?’ she smirks.

‘nothing, there’s nothing’ you mutter, making it clear you were upset.

‘oh sweetie, do you like him?’ yeji frowned,

‘i’m not sure’ you sigh, looking over at the black haired boy who never stopped smiling it seemed. he had this aura about him that you couldn’t stray away from. maybe it was because you were both stuck at work and forced to communicate but you wanted to hang out with him outside of work, it just never came up.

later that day, you were munching on some fruit you had packed for your break, before jeno came in and took a seat across from you.

‘hey y/n, care to share?’ he smiled, which you couldn’t resist so you shoved the box of fruit towards him, causing him to let out a small chuckle.

‘any plans for the weekend?’ you started,

‘umm actually my school is having its junior prom. i wasn’t gonna go but my friends keep bugging me about it’ jeno shrugged, but the idea of prom to you, was a dream. your school didn’t really hold many dances or events, so this was all very exciting.

‘oh my god! that’s exciting, i missed prom last year because i had to take the late shift here. and my school isn’t having one this year. you’re lucky you get to have one, you should totally go.’ you excitedly blurted, as jeno watched you with such captivating eyes. he couldn’t get enough of your little rambles.

‘i might go, on one condition’ he gives you a grin in which you have him a confused expression.

‘you come to prom with me?’ he asked, figuratively crossing his fingers behind his back. you were startled by his question, you and jeno? going to prom together?  would people ask questions?

‘wow i mean, if you’re okay with it, i would love to go with you to prom! i mean, like a date right?’ you accidentally blurted the last part in which you instantly regretted.

jeno flushed red before responding,

‘if you want it to be then sure, i’m down’ his response made you internally celebrate. jeno had a way with words. as well as his constant facial expressions.

you were going to prom, finally. also with lee jeno. two things you never expected to happen.

friday came along, for once jeno and you decided to hang out, outside of work. he took you to a park, to ride bikes, like you had suggested before.

‘slow down!! i have small and weak legs!’ you yell as jeno laughs hysterically in front of you.

‘oh stop being a baby!’ he comes to a halt in which you followed.

‘let’s go get a drink’ jeno smiled before pulling his bike with him to the nearest cafe. you both ordered a berry smoothie, taking a seat on a bench and chatting away.

‘so, any run ins with euntae lately?’ you teased while sipping on your drink. jeno just chuckled softly before replying,

‘i’ve actually spoken to her at school. i cleared everything up on my end. and for the most part i think she took it well? we aren’t on total bad terms’ you nodded at his words, glad that he was finally able to live freely.

‘that’s great! i’m happy for you’ you smiled as jeno looked over at you. you looked so huggable, like you needed someone to just embrace you forever. jeno wanted to be that person for you. but he would wait until prom for all the events to unfold.

you and jeno arrived at the prom separately, due to jeno’s pre prom plans with his friends, in which you didn’t want to interrupt. jeno’s eyes landed on you, standing at the front of the hall, hands gripped together and looking to the ground. he smiled to himself at how adorable you looked.

‘hey there’ he spoke, giving you a small shock before you slapped his shoulder lightly.

‘don’t sneak up on me please!’ you whine as you fixed your dress.

‘you look really pretty, y/n. i’m so glad you could come and accompany me’ jeno looked into your eyes which made you freeze. he had this glint of sparkle in them, which you couldn’t stop staring into.

‘hello?’ he flashed you an eye smile, which pulled you out of your daze.

‘oh uh sorry, spaced out. you look really good too, its a pleasure to be here’ you smiled back, trying to hide the blush that crept to your cheeks.

‘gosh, you don’t have to be so formal! let’s go inside!’ he chuckled before pulling you, while linking his fingers with yours. your palms were clammy and you hoped he didn’t notice. the prom, for the most part, consisted of you and jeno standing by the food and refreshment tables, eating and talking. there was some dancing, until you were pushed into the dance circle and could only remember the choreo to fancy.

‘you have some killer moves, y/n’ jeno teased whilst sipping on his drink, you rolled your eyes before pushing him till he lost balance.

‘let’s go outside, too many people here’ jeno locked his fingers with ours once again, which couldn’t make you stop blushing.

you both situated yourselves on the staircase outside the hall, the only people there being the security but they were ready to clock off for the night.

jeno didn’t let go of your interlocked fingers, which you didn’t mind at all.

‘can i tell you something?’ jeno blurted, looking into your eyes with an expression you couldn’t comprehend.

‘is it bad or good?’ you questioned, slightly feeling anxious for his response.

‘you can decide. i just wanted to tell you that, the reason i applied for the job at the shop was to uh, be friends with you’ jeno admitted, completely turning red. you were shocked at his words, your hand reaching to cover your mouth.

‘jeno! why would you- how? god you’re so lame!’ you giggled, softly slapping his shoulder while your fingers remained intertwined.

‘hey! i thought you were really pretty and you seemed so nice, i just had to get to know you!’ jeno blurted out even more, which kept making you giggle.

‘you could have just come into the store instead of staring at me like a creeper’ you teased as his eyes widened,

‘wait you saw that?’

‘yes! i thought you were cute too, don’t worry’ you smiled at him in which he returned the gesture.

‘what i’m trying to say with all of this is that, i really like you. like, you make my days worth while. when i was going through a tough time with my ex, you had my back and always helped me through it. i’m so grateful to have met you, i just can’t get you out of my head” you stopped him from speaking,

‘jeno can you just kiss me please?’ you whisper, bringing yourself closer to his face, your noses touching.

‘w-what?’ he stutters, as you reach to grab the sides of his face.

‘let me kiss you, lee jeno!’ you rolled your eyes playfully as he nodded eagerly. you pulled his lips to yours as he reached to grab onto your sides. kissing jeno was like everything you had imagined. he was gentle, and cautious, yet passionate and warm. you both pulled away, only centimetres apart.

‘wanna go get some tea?’ he joked as you pull him in for another short kiss.

‘you’re so lame, but i guess that’s why i like you’ you replied before intertwining your fingers again and walking with him to his car.

lee jeno was non stop adventure. he was unpredictable. yet, you couldn’t get him out of your head even if you tried.

[multifandomfanficss]

Benny X OC

My Babysitter’s a Vampire

You’re Special: Part 2

Prompt: This is another Benny x OC fic. In this fic my OC Liz battles her newfound powers and a siren alongside her boyfriend Benny and her best friends. This isn’t based on any specific episode, but is sort of a continuation of part 1.

Warnings: I don’t think there are any

A/N: I’m back at it again with the OC fics. Again there is a part when it briefly switches to 3rd person point of view, but it will be clearly labeled. Tell me if you want me to keep these going.

BEEP BEEP I woke to the sound of my screeching alarm clock. It’s Thursday morning. I got out my clothes for the day and waited and listened for the front door to close down stairs. As soon as I knew my dad was gone to work for the day I sprinted to the bathroom and turned the shower on. I slipped off my bracelet and put it on the sink. Part of me was afraid that I would ruin it if I wore it in the shower. It was a beautiful old leather bracelet with magical symbols carved into it. I got it from my boyfriend’s Grandma to help control my powers. I smiled to myself. Saying my boyfriend was still new and it was a nice feeling. Benny and I had only been dating for about a week now. Being as impatient as I am I hopped in while the water was still cold and bounced around waiting for the water to warm up. The water felt nice splashing against my skin. I felt safe. I had always felt a strong connection to water, but now knowing that I had powers that come from the earth everything was a little bit different.

After my shower I threw my clothes and my bracelet on and rushed to put a little makeup on. I don’t usually wear makeup to school. It’s a little bit annoying to wake up early just to put on makeup. These people see me everyday and we all know that nobody wants to be there anyway. I don’t need makeup for school. I’m just going to sit in front of a white board and projector for about 6 hours. I knew Benny wouldn’t care. He’s seen me without makeup a million times, but today was different. I wanted to look good and feel confident. Today was auditions for the drama club’s annual cabaret. Every year our school has a cabaret to raise money for the drama club. I love drama club. Although I don’t talk about it in front of the boys very much acting really is my passion. Benny knows how much I love it. He loves to do lights for the shows. Although Ethan and Rory always make fun of him he is such a techie. It’s really cute. I love seeing him get excited about all of the special effects that go into theatre. Even before we were dating when we were just best friends we always looked forward to drama club. It was always a good way for us to bond. We would never admit it to Ethan and Rory, but it was special to us.

I quickly ran downstairs, packed my backpack, grabbed a bagel for the go, and headed out the door. I met Benny and Ethan in front of the school with a smile on my face ready to face the day. When I got there they were arguing about the Mandela Effect and wether it was real or not. Typical. They were so into the argument they didn’t even notice me. “Benny, it’s not real. It’s not scientifically possible” Ethan argued. “Okay, Ethan, but you get visions and I have magic!” Benny responds. “And when they run out of fries in the cafeteria I throw a 6.2 on the Richter Scale...I gotta go with Benny on this one” I smile stopping in front of them. The boys look at me. “You’re just saying that because he’s your boyfriend now” Ethan says. “That’s right. She’s my girlfriend. I have a girlfriend” Benny says putting his arm around me. I blush. “Will you just shut up?” I beg him. I can’t help, but smile and giggle. He’s so stupid, but it’s the really cute kind of stupid. Thank God my bracelet is on or the school pipes would explode. Benny looked down at me and smiled. “Why do I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world?” He asks me. I blush like crazy. Usually I’m pretty cool and I’m never speechless, but Benny just puts me at a loss for words. “Guys I’m still here” Ethan breaks me out of my bliss. “Now if only we could get Ethan a girlfriend” Benny pouts at him. “Hey, there’s still hope for Sarah yet. She never actually rejected him” I remind Benny. “I’ll ask her when I’m ready” Ethan defends himself. “You better” I tell him. RING The bell goes off and we head into the school.

By the time I had made it to lunch I was already pretty nervous. The day was halfway over and my audition for the cabaret would be soon. I sat next to Benny while I stared across the cafeteria. Ethan and Rory sat across from me. Sarah and Erica were nowhere to be found because the seniors were on a field trip. I was spacing out big time as I tried to make sure I knew the lyrics to the song I was supposed to sing. “Uh...Earth to Liz” Benny said breaking me out of my thoughts. I shook my head and snapped back to reality “Yes?” I asked. “Does that sound good?” He asked. I looked at him with confusion. “Have you been listening to any of this conversation?” Ethan asked. “Sorry...I just zoned out” I apologize. I feel bad, but I’m nervous about the audition. I feel my leg shake under the table. Benny puts his hand on my knee and looks at me. I stop. “Sorry” I say quietly. “What’s up with you?” Rory asks. I shrug my shoulders. “Aren’t the auditions for that drama club thing today?” Ethan asks. I nod. “I guess I’m just a little nervous” I confess. “You’re gonna do great” Benny promises me. “Yeah! You’re Awesome!” Rory chimes in. “Besides didn’t you get like the lead last year?” Ethan asks. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get it every time. Theatre is hard. It’s really competitive” I tell him. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. “Anyway, what’s up?” I ask. “Movie night tomorrow at Ethan’s?” Benny asks. “You know I’m there” I tell the boys. I smile as they start another debate over Star Wars: Episode III and I zone out again. This time I find myself staring at a girl I never really noticed before. I don’t know everyone at our school, but at the same time we don’t go to the biggest school. I feel like I would have at least seen her in passing. She’s probably new. She’s dressed in mostly shades of purple and black and she’s sporting a pretty cool leather jacket. She looks like she radiates so much anger; like she just wants to scream at the world.

RING The last Bell of the day went off and I made my way to the auditorium. I was scheduled to be one of the first auditions. Then I could leave with Benny and Ethan who were waiting for me outside the school. I walked through the door and put my name on the sign in sheet. I’m supposed to go second. At least I’m not first. I looked down to see a name after mine that I didn’t recognize. Who’s going third? I questioned everything when I looked at the name Emily Sirven. I looked around the room and saw the mysterious new girl. It has to be her. The drama club isn’t that big and for the most part I know everyone. I wonder if she’s any good. I walk up to her and try to strike up a conversation. “Hi. I’m Liz. I feel like I’ve never seen you around before. What’s your name?” I ask. “I’m Emily and I’m going to make you feel in a minute” She snaps. I’m not quite sure how to take the oddly vague threat. Is it even a threat? “Liz?” Ms. LOL breaks me out of my thoughts. I turn to her. “You’re up!” She tells me. I hardly noticed the boy before me had even started let alone finished. I took a deep breath as I held onto the pendant on my TARDIS necklace. I rushed up to the stage and got ready to sing one of my favorite musical theatre songs. I belted out As We Stumble Along from the Drowsy Chaperone. The song was funny and powerful. As soon as I started singing I immediately started feeling better. I always feel at home in my singing. As soon as the song ended I left the stage. I pass Emily on my way out and decide to be nice. “Break a leg” I smile at her. “Oh I’m sure you’ll break something” She tells me. What is her problem? I knew I had to stay to see her sing now. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I stood with my back leaning against the wall and waited for Little Miss Ego to start. “I’m going to be singing an original song” She informs the drama club. Is that even allowed? This a theatre cabaret not an open mic. She started the song and I completely blacked out.

3RD PERSON POV

Benny and Ethan were waiting outside the school for Liz when the entire building started to shake. “What’s going on?!” Ethan shouted over the nicely sized earthquake. Ethan lost his balance and fell to the ground. “We have to find Liz!” Benny responded. He knew his girlfriend was responsible. He grabbed Ethan’s hand and pulled him up, running inside the building. The boys ran to the auditorium, but as soon as they got to the doors the earthquake stopped. They took a quick look at each other and quickly ran inside.

LIZ’S POV

“Liz” I heard Benny and Ethan calling my name while I was being shaken. I opened my eyes to see Benny on his knees in front of me with his hands on my shoulders. Ethan was squatting next to him. I was sitting on the ground against the wall. They looked very concerned. “What happened?” I ask. “I think you started freaking out over your audition” Ethan guess. “No, I already had my audition” I tell them as I try to remember what happened. My head starts to throb. “I have a massive headache though” I say as I rub my head. I watch Ethan look around to see everyone in the drama club struggling to get up. They all seem to be in a daze. New girl is nowhere to be found. I see all of the destruction. “Did I do this?” I ask. I feel like I already know the answer. Ethan gives me a sad look. “Well we don’t know for sure...” Benny tries to make me feel better. I’m scared. I’m afraid of myself. I hate this. “Benny, I wanna go home” I tell him. “We should probably run you past Grandma” He says as he helps me up. I fall into him. “Sorry. I’m a little dizzy” I say trying to regain my balance. “It’s okay. I’ve got you” He says holding me.

Benny kept a hand on my back making sure I was okay no matter how many times I said I was fine. I just had a little bit of a headache. Benny, Ethan, and I made our way up Benny’s porch and into his living room. “Grandma!” Benny yells. I quickly shush my loud mouth boyfriend. I hated telling him to be quiet, but my head was pounding. “Sorry! Grandma!” He whisper yelled as he walked off to find her. I cracked a smile. Ethan walked to the freezer and came back with an ice pack. “Here try this” He said. “Thanks” I say taking the ice pack and placing it on my head. “I wonder what happened to the new girl” I think aloud. “What new girl?” He asks. “There was a new girl in drama club. I think her name was like Emily Sirven or something like that. She’s really annoying. She disappeared when the little earthquake hit. It probably freaked her out” I tell him. “Little earthquake?” I hear Benny’s Grandma come down the stairs with Benny following not far behind her. “My dear, your little earthquake was big enough to make the news” She informs me. “What?!” I ask. I quickly check my phone and she’s right. “I completely blacked out. I don’t even remember it” I confess. “This is worse than I thought” She walks up to me. “Were you wearing your bracelet?” She asks. I nod. She picks up my hand and waves some magic that I won’t pretend to understand over my wrist. “It’s still intact” She says in surprise. “Isn’t that a good thing?” Benny asks. “On the contrary. You must have gone through something truly terrible if you were able to cause an earthquake that scale while wearing your bracelet” She says. I look down at the floor and look up again at her in confusion and fear. “Why don’t I remember anything?” I ask. “Your brain must be protecting you. Maybe the black out was a defense mechanism” She guesses. “I wouldn’t worry about it right now at least.” She tells us. “Something is definitely going on, but we can’t do anything about it this minute” She adds. I sigh. How can I not worry about it right now?

I wake up the next day dreading going to school. The whole day went by so slowly. I just wanted it all to end so I could finally get to movie night at Ethan’s with my friends. I just wanted it to be me, a can of soda, a couple bowls of popcorn, a sci-fi movie, and my best friends. That was the only thought getting me through the day.

By the time we got to lunch I was so ready to leave school. Usually I liked school. I enjoyed learning and I loved seeing my friends even more, but today I felt like the life was just being drained from me. I was in the lunch line with Benny when I saw her again. She was right in front of me. She was humming quietly. It was so infuriating. I had never been angrier. I couldn’t help, but think about the stuff she said to me at the auditions. I had to say something. I could feel this fire boiling in my blood. “Hey, what’s your problem?!” I ask her. Benny looks at me confusion, but I don’t care. Then he grabs my arm gently. “Cool it sparky!” He says in sort of a whisper yell. I look at him with confusion and then I look to the stove. The flames are out of control and the lunch ladies are rapidly trying to put them out. “How did I-“ I’m interrupted by Emily. She pushes me to the ground. “Stay out of my way geek” She sneers. The second she touches me it feels like a thousand knives are being stabbed into my brain. All I can hear is a loud screeching noise. I watch the water fountain on the other side of the cafeteria explode as I scream. Other kids in the cafeteria freak out and take cover from the water. They don’t notice what’s happening to me. I curl my body into a ball as tears start to form in my eyes. My ears are ringing. Benny wraps his arms around me as he tries to speak to me. I can’t hear him and I start to panic. Everything is too much. I can feel the earth below me start to shake and I can feel the heat of the flames in the kitchen next to me. I feel everything. I feel too much. Benny holds me tightly. I hide my face in his chest. I black out.

I shoot awake. My breathing is heavy and I have sweat dripping down my body. I’m in the nurse’s office. I watch as Benny quickly puts his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. He tries to talk to me, but I still can’t hear him. I look outside to see it’s pouring down rain. A flash of lightening hits the ground and the thunder shakes the whole room. I stare out the window breathing heavy. Benny understands and he places a kiss on my forehead before helping me off the cot and out of the nurse’s office. I don’t know where we’re going or what’s happening, but I can’t really ask. Benny leads me to my locker. He opens it and fills my backpack for me. I watch him silently. I try to stay calm as I worry about if my hearing will ever come back. I zone out and suddenly I find Benny putting my arms into my coat. He pulls it around me and zippers it up for me. I watch him sling my backpack over his shoulder. Then he puts my hood up before taking my hand and guiding me outside and through the storm. I jump at a bolt of lightening as I press my body to his. He holds me close as we walk home in the rain.

As soon as we got to Ethan and Benny’s houses we stopped by Benny’s for clothes. Our clothes were wet from the rain. I sat on his bed in soaked clothes while Benny quickly closed the shades in his room to make it darker for me. I think he’s trying not to overload my senses. Then I waited for him to find me a new tee shirt to wear. He held up different options he thought I might like. When he held up the shirt with the Captain America shield I made a hand squeezing motion in an effort to silently say ‘Give me give me’. He smiled and tossed me the shirt. I then walked over to his dresser and sprayed the shirt with the cologne Benny wears that he had stolen from his dad. He gave me a confused look. “I want it to smell like you” I tried to speak. It must have come out as a yell because Benny quickly put his finger to my lips. I could see him laughing at me. I looked up at him as he smiled down at me. I smiled back. Then I pulled his hand away. He gave me a quick kiss and then I changed into his shirt. He changed and we walked next door to Ethan’s.

As soon as we got to Ethan’s Benny led me into Ethan’s closet and shut the door. He probably just wants to help my senses. I started thinking about the time Ethan lost his hearing and he had to sit in his own closet. Then I had a big realization. “Guys I think it might be a Siren!” I said through the door. Benny opened the door with a small white board and a marker. I laughed a little, at least I think I did. I couldn’t hear it, but I obviously felt it. Written on the board was ‘Does this help?’ I nodded. He erased it. He exchanged a few words with Ethan. He seemed to be telling him what to write. Then Benny wrote ‘We think it’s a Siren too’. Ethan and Benny kept talking. I couldn’t hear them. “It’s probably that new girl” I said in what was probably more of a shout again. I watch the boys nod. “Her name was Emily Sirven” I inform them. Ethan takes the board from Benny’s hands. He quickly writes ‘Well Sirven does sound a lot like Siren’. My jaw drops. “Hey, I was a little too preoccupied blacking out or maybe I would have noticed it sooner!” I definitely shouted that time. Benny takes a phone call while Ethan sits with me. He writes on the white board ‘You should probably get your hearing back soon’. “Probably?!” I question him. Benny comes back and takes my hand. He helps me up and guides me out of Ethan’s room. “Where are we going?” I ask. “My house” I see Benny mouth the words. “Your house?” I ask. He nods. We’re probably screaming.

Once we get to Benny’s house I sit down in his kitchen. I feel someone come up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. I flinch. Benny takes my hand and mouths something I can’t quite understand. I turn around to see it’s just his Grandma. I smile. Her and Benny have a short conversation. I can only assume it’s about what happened to me. Next thing I knew I had Benny putting a pair of noise cancelling headphones on my ears. Benny’s Grandma then touched my head and I could feel a rush of magic go through me. Suddenly I could hear the sound of the blood pumping through my ears, you know the deafening sound you hear when you have noise counseling headphones on. I try to take the headphones off, but Benny puts his hands over mine. Instead he writes a message on a piece of paper. ‘You just got your hearing back all at once. It’s going to be very loud’. I nod. “So when can I take these off?” I suddenly hear how loud my voice was. I must have given a pretty socked face because I can hear Benny laugh through the headphones. I leave them on for a little bit longer. Then I start getting used to letting in more sound little by little.

Benny and I lay on the couch while we watch Supernatural with the subtitles on. He keeps the volume low for me. The headphones are off as this point, but I’m still getting used to having my hearing back. Benny looks down at me, tucking some hair behind my ear and out of my face. “How’s everything?” Benny asks. “It’s a lot better, but I’m still a little freaked out” I confess. “None of the stuff that happened today was your fault” He tried to tell me. “I know...it’s just....I’ve never controlled fire with my powers before...and the rain storm...was that me?” I ask. “Grandma thinks it might be, but you remember what happened last time with Serena. Sirens make your emotions all crazy. It’s not your fault” He reminds me. “Why do Sirens always pick dumb names that just sound like Siren. Like Serena, Sirven, come on. That is so stupid” I laugh. “Yeah what’s up with that? It’s like they’re saying please stop me I’m evil” Benny says as the credits role for the episode. We turn off the TV and decide to head back to Ethan’s for movie night.

I lay on the floor in Benny’s arms. His back is against the couch. Sarah, Ethan, and Rory sit on the couch while Jane is asleep in the chair next to us. Erica is nowhere to be found, probably out for a snack. She didn’t usually join our movie nights. I wish she did. We were watching a what was supposed to be a scary movie, but the only person who was scared was Rory. “Rory, how can you be afraid of this crap? You’re a vampire. You could easily suck that serial killer’s blood. You’re like way scarier than him” I tell him. “Really?” He asks. “Duh” I laugh. “You could beat Bill and his creepy lady with the knife any day” I promise him. “Awesome” I hear Rory say to himself under his breath. I smile as my comment seems to make him feel a little better. I’m exhausted. I guess it’s fair since I did almost rip the entire school apart today. After a long day I fall asleep in Benny’s arms. I don’t wake up until it’s time to go home and go to bed.

I woke up the next day and I knew what I had to do. Tonight is the cabaret. I had to go into dress rehearsal this afternoon and record Emily. Lucky enough I had gotten into the cabaret. I even had the big solo in the group number. If I’m being honest I’m pretty excited. I cannot let a Siren ruin it for me. I changed out of Benny’s shirt and got into the shower. I slept in his shirt. It makes me feel secure. Once I was out of the shower I threw on makeup and changed into something nice. Then I put on my shoes and headed out the door. I was a little nervous, but this was nothing I couldn’t handle and nothing my bracelet couldn’t keep down. Benny wanted to come with me to the dress rehearsal, but I assured him I could handle it on my own. All I have to do is keep my ear plugs in and get a recording of Emily. It’s pretty hard to mess that up, besides I’ve been feeling a little fragile and useless lately because of my newfound powers. I just wanna feel strong again.

The dress rehearsal went perfectly as planned. I got the recording and everything was fine. Now we just have to play it back at her during the cabaret. This could be a little harder. A couple hours passed and the auditorium started to fill up. I was happy the drama club was making so much money, but at the same time I was nervous about what could happen to all of these people. I was scheduled to go on right before Emily. Benny stood backstage with me while Ethan, Rory, Erica, and Sarah we’re getting ready for the fight. “You’re going to be fine” Benny says. “Just fine?” I ask with a laugh. “You’re going to be awesome!” Benny responds. I smile at my boyfriend. What did I do to deserve him? He can be annoying, loud, and obnoxious, but he is also sweet, funny, and a total nerd. He’s perfect for me. Ms. LOL signals for me to cone on stage and I quickly kiss Benny for good luck before walking on. I stand in front of my mic and belt my heart out. I look to the wings at Benny and get lost in the moment. Sarah, Erica, Ethan, and Rory are standing with him. No matter how much has changed and no matter how scary my life is right now I’m so happy doing what I love in front of the people that I love. Right now is the best I’ve felt in a long time. I don’t just feel safe. I feel free.

As soon as I finish the song applause roars through the audience. This does not make Emily happy. She tears onto the stage in fury. She starts to spread her gift. She sings her piercing toon, but she can’t effect me this time. I have ear plugs in. “Why can’t you feel my pain?” She asks. “Why don’t you feel this?” Ethan asks as he plays her own frequency back at her. She screams in pain. She pushes the speaker over and pushes me to the ground. Then she continues to sing. Ethan and Rory run to the sound system while Sarah and Erica try to fight Emily. Benny runs to me. “Are you okay?” He asks. “No!” I shout as I pound my fist into the stage and it shakes. “Liz, it’ll be okay” Benny promises me. I know it will. “I’m tired of feeling weak!” I shout over Emily’s noise. I stand up and I take off my bracelet and nothing goes wrong for once. “What are you doing?” Benny asks. “I’m in control” I say before shooting air from my hands. I shoot Emily with the air and keep her held to the ground long enough for Ethan to set up the sound system. Then he blasts her and she’s done. I collapse onto my knees and Benny runs to me. I watch the curtains close while everyone wears confused faces. They all try to figure out what’s going on. “How did you do that?” Benny asks as he slips my bracelet back onto my wrist. “When I was doing what I loved in front of the people that I loved I just had this emotion that was greater than any fear or any anger or any sadness I could have ever felt. Benny, I think love and happiness give me control” I smile. “You give me control” I tell him as I place my hand on his cheek. He smiles at me and we kiss. Erica makes a gagging noise. I smile and pull away. “Shut up” I tell her. “All I’m saying is that you could do a lot better” She says in her usual tone. I wrap my arms around my boyfriend and smile. Sarah elbows Erica in the arm. “Ow!” Erica exclaims. “But...” Sarah starts for her. “But I’m glad you’re...happy” Erica says through gritted teeth. Benny and I laugh it off. I look at him. “Don’t worry. You’re the best I could ever do” I say before kissing him again. Then we stand up and sit in the back of the auditorium while Ms. LOL apologizes for the weird show. This is just like the Rainbow Factory all over again. We decide to book it and hit the ice cream place on the way home. I sat on the bench under the neon lights with my best friends as I sipped my Chocolate Oreo Malt with my boyfriend’s arm around me. I knew nothing could be better than this.

[apprendicekato]

pottery Muriel’s headcanons because my brain went full  mandela effect and i’m sure he does mention some clay at some point but really he doesn’t this is mostly because Kato has very little objects on themselves- after all imagine being a little stray cat, you can’t have a lot of belongings so yeah. Kato has an iron teapot, and a single, tiny ceramic cup, it’s very tiny, and it was probably meant for liqueurs.  Kato keeps it in his lil bag, surrounded by fabric or  herbs or anything their lil paws can find to avoid breaking the thing but one day it breaks! probably due their daydreaming habits or just during a very fast paced market-food steal run.  This cat is HEARTBROKEN at their lil cup shattered.  they will have to steal one again and that one came from a pub and it’s just more difficult to steal from closed spaces and they’re just destroyed muriel WILL find them at his hut weeping their lil heart out over the shattered pieces, trying to do some fixing magic that they don’t really know. mountain man is kinda living alone in the middle of the forest but he does need tools now and then. he ended up makin his own hand powered wheel for throwing. he really prefers functionality over designs, and some dyes just aren’t “a forest thing” he has however used some  onion skin to give certain clays a richer color he’s very steady when pottery working. in the beginning he did have some “bad pancakes” but that’s a matter of the past right now. he never gathers clay from the same place in the forest so most of his creations are very different glazed terracotta? he doesn’t have time to do that. only once to make a water bowl for the chikens in the back it’s not like it’s an hobby, but it’s more like something he does - now and then - to replace a bowl or something that broke when MC ( or kato, for what matters)  will look super happy to have something handmade he won’t really understand it because.. it’s just a bowl?  but after seeing you happy he WILL try to make things less basic and add some detail i know shit about pottery if not for a lesson i took when i was 8 and i still have a glazed pencil holder i made back then and the only thing i remember is that the glaze has to be only on the surface ( like, absolutely not on the side that’s touching the oven’s floor ) or it will explode and i’m sure that’s why he doesn’t glaze his terracotta stuff did i trace that cat crying meme for this? did i? yes

[theanimeview]

Theory: The True Voice of Yusuke Urameshi

By: Casea Mhtar, @madamekrow​

Yu Yu Hakusho is ultimately my favourite anime, to the point where I can’t bear the thought of liking an anime more than it. For example, Berserk (1997) will be my “number 1” while Yu Yu Hakusho has exceeded the list altogether because its pedestal is just that high. That is the length I must go to secure a strange sense of balance for myself and stave off yet another identity crisis for a different reason. So you can probably imagine how much chaos was thrown at me when I found out that Yusuke Urameshi’s voice actor is completely different than the one I vividly recall when I found myself rewatching the series a few weeks ago. I have a memory of my sister and I watching a single episode she had taped on VCR and we would specifically watch the credits nonstop. We were trying to memorize the song (with great success, I might add).

At the time, there was still no means of listening to the ending theme anywhere other than its source. YouTube wasn’t really a thing, and even if it was we didn’t have access to the same databases we have today. So we watched that part over and over and over again. I remember etching each image into our minds, every lyric into our internal roster of songs as it played on repeat. The names kept popping up just as they did before the last and the voice actor of Yusuke Urameshi, my favorite character, was none other than Yuri Lowenthal.

I distinctly recall thinking “Yuri, that’s a cool name” to myself as his name came up again and again. Not to be rude, but “Justin Cook” just isn’t exactly a name that would elicit such a thought from me and, indeed, never came to mind since I am certain it wasn’t in the credits of my beloved Yu Yu Hakusho VHS. 

So, in my rewatching of the show, present-day me had the initial assumption that what was going on here was a perverse version of the Mandela Effect. However, looking into it now, I feel that completely waters down my experience and doesn’t actually explain what happened. 

I mean, I can’t simply ignore my recollection as being a false memory, as every Mandela Effect is reasoned away with. No. I needed to find true reasoning for this madness. 

For the sake of convenience and for the lack of a better theory, I will settle on there being an unexplained dimensional shift. Certainly, any reasonable person could argue that I made a mistake. I simply misread the credits, maybe even pulled that name from somewhere else. Or perhaps Yuri was Yusuke’s voice actor from a different dub! But that isn’t the case as seen in this YouTube video comparing EVERYONE who has voiced Urameshi. 

undefined

So... Let’s say this was all a misunderstanding on my part. BUT THEN it didn’t just end with me incorrectly reading names in the credits over and over. I didn’t wrongly perceive the Funimation dubbing as being someone else and then call it a day. I was validated in my belief for a long period of time by outside sources.

.Hack//G.U. Vol. 1: Rebirth (2006)

The overall series of .Hack// is a subject I will certainly indulge in more in the future, but for the purpose of staying on-topic, I shall restrain myself. The reason I bring it up now is because in 2006, when .Hack//G.U. Vol. 1: Rebirth was released (I will always say it in full!), the protagonist--Haseo--sounded so familiar. I couldn’t quite figure it out until I saw who was credited with the voice acting. Out loud, in front of witnesses (if you count my birds), I said, “Yuri Lowenthal?. . . Wait, is that the voice of-”

I looked up his name to find he was-at that time-credited as the voice of Yusuke Urameshi. Quite a mistake that is since officially he is unlisted in the series yet multiple people around the world think otherwise, the same as me. Not only that, but updating all of Lowenthal’s pages to be credited with Haseo in addition to Urameshi. Many people had to review those pages, many people happened upon those pages and never bothered to correct them. That’s what really gets me. Sure, if my Ego was backed into a corner then yes, I can perhaps admit that my eyeballs had failed me and that’s all you’re gonna get out of me! Yet there is no copy I can find of him voicing the character online.

Could this be an example of lost media instead then? Well, no. Apparently not. Most anyone I’ve told about this believes I am confusing him with someone else. They may not remember “Justin Cook” at the top of their heads, however they are adamant about Yuri Lowenthal never, ever voicing Yusuke Urameshi. Because he didn’t... in this dimension.

Perhaps I truly am mixing him up his voice with a different character? Yuri Lowenthal is also famously the voice actor for Sasuke Uchiha in the english dub of Naruto. An extremely popular character from an anime that is surrounded by an enormous and ever growing fan base. The problem with that is, I’ve never watched Naruto. I didn’t even know Lowenthal was in any way a part of Naruto until I was somewhat adjusted into adulthood. When explaining my entire theory to a friend, I asked them if they can imagine the essence of an other-dimensional Yusuke within the voice of Haseo. 

“All I hear is Sasuke from Naruto,” They bluntly said.

I’ll be honest... That hurt more than it should have, but I swallowed my pride and looked into it since I’ve never actually heard what Sasuke sounds like.

What I begrudgingly find is that my friend was right. Again, this was the first time I had ever heard Yuri Lowenthal as Sasuke and I didn’t know that he was the voice actor until a few years prior. This entire ordeal leaves me feeling unnerved that there are so many loopholes being found in the False Memory Theory. It can’t be completely dismissed as large scale misinformation or misremembering. That is why I had to settle on the theory that there was some strange dimensional shift, even with how outlandish that sounds.

The Discovery

I don’t know when it occurred and I’m not sure how I missed it, but it happened. You would think being thrust out of your prior dimension, or being crammed into a different one, would have some sort of impact. Maybe that’s why I developed back problems during my teenage years, I can’t really say. All I can recall is the feeling of my stomach hitting the floor through the bottom of my feet when I finally found out. I was watching the DVD box set of Yu Yu Hakusho that my friend lent me and I could immediately tell something was not right. Yusuke didn’t sound anything like I remembered, the voice--the tone--was weird, his inflections were way off, it was all wrong! WRONG, I TELL YOU. So, to the internet I went only to find someone else being credited...

“Justin Cook this” and “Justin Cook that” appeared all over. There was even a video of him yelling “spirit gun” for a fan and I was still in disbelief! There was no way! This wasn’t possible! 

Apparently, in this dimension it is though, and that is a fact that I will have to live with for the rest of my life... or until reality throws me back to my own dimension. The knowledge that I will look crazy whenever I tell this story, as well as the reality that there could be more dubs out their with voices unknown. Not just voice actors, but entire animes—maybe video games, even people I thought I knew! Who knows what was left behind with Yuri Lowenthal as Urameshi! I don’t care to think about it too much. My heart is wounded enough I tell you. I already have a crippling fear of one day finding out my whole life is a lie—I don’t need to rack my brain about all of this as well.

In Conclusion,

Yuri Lowenthal was fantastic as Urameshi and I wish I could somehow put my memory into an audio clip for everyone to hear. Not so much to prove that he was better, but to solidify why my experience is very real to me. Though, if you did hear the Yusuke that I knew, I truly believe you would think it was pretty good at the very least. (Not that Justin is bad... just that it feels wrong to my beloved memory... sorry Mr. Cook.) On the bright side, Lowenthal is plenty successful and I am always rooting for him regardless. Sure, Justin Cook is my “number 1” Urameshi in this dimension, but the Yuri Lowenthal rendition that doesn’t exist in this world has exceeded the list all together in my heart. His pedestal is just too high.

What about those of you reading this? Do any of you have a similar experience? Maybe you also remember Yuri Lowenthal as Yusuke Urameshi! Let us know! (Let ME know! Please--I beg someone to find a copy if one exsists in this world. 😭) 

Happy Wednesday. I guess. Bye. 

[vonlipvig]

List of Youtubers You Should Check Out

General Info/Interesting Topics

Half As Interesting & Wendover Productions: Both channels are made by the same person, but where Wendover Production offers more lenghty and serious videos talking about topics such as logistics, economics, and planes, HAI gives you funnier, bite-sized 5min videos on a wilder variety of topics, covering all types of oddities and fun facts. Different styles, but both incredibly interesting and well-made. Loves planes.

RealLifeLore: Similar to HAI/Wendover, videos generally go between 6min to 12min. Lots of interesting and diverse topics with a fun tone. Geography videos and hypothetical questions galore. Super well-made, too. Loves Toyota Corollas.

Polymatter: Similar to Wendover and RLL. Videos are serious and educational, covering a big range of topics as well, including currencies, economics, the entertainment industry, etc. Some of the prettiest and smoothest animations ever.

Scary/Mysteries

Bedtime Stories: A channel producing 20-30 minute videos about a diverse array of mysteries: cryptids, aliens, disappearances, true crime, you name it. Each video features original black and white artwork to go with the narration, and the atmosphere it manages to create is impeccable. Very well-researched, and very mindful and respectful of the victims it talks about. Highly reccommended.

Nexpo: Youtuber that specializes in investigative videos about a variety of mysteries, both from the internet and from real life. He’s covered anything from video game mysteries, to reddit enigmas, to ARGs, to real life dissapearances and unsettling occurences. He has a series called “Disturbing Things From Around The Internet”, which is absolutely chilling. Super engaging and terrifying. As we say, everybody gangsta until Nexpo says “Let’s take a look...”.

Barely Sociable: Similar to Nexpo, he puts out long, documentary-style videos about internet and real life mysteries. He’s dived into varios videos about the dark web and the silk road, and is currently doing a multiple-part series about the mystery regarding the identity of the creator of Bitcoin. Really cool videos.

LEMMiNO: King of quality over quantity. He might not upload much, but when he does it’s an absolute delight. He makes 20-30min long documentary-style videos about diverse topics, mostly centering on mysteries and other curious occurrences, such as the Battle of Los Angeles, The Mandela Effect, or the Dyatlov Pass Incident. INCREDIBLY high-quality video, you really feel like watching a TV documentary.

Gaming

Achievement Hunter: A group of people who play games and are kinda terrible at them most of the time, and who are part of Rooster Teeth, the guys who make shows like RWBY and RvB. Not only do they play video games (such as Minecraft, GTA, GMod, and countless more), they also play board games, and have a variety of other live action shows you can enjoy. If you decide to get into them, it’s a one way trip, but what a trip it is!

Press Buttons and Talk: The gaming channel of Alex Mankin and SungWon Cho (yes, ProZD!). They upload every day, and have played a wild variety of games, so I’m sure there-s something for everyone. Their Ace Attorney playthroughs are perfection, as they voice all the characters and give birth to countless hilarious inside jokes along the way.

Music Industry/Celebs Analysis

Pop Dissected & GossipBoy: Different channels, but they’re fairly similar in topics and format, with their own particular charms each. Short-ish videos analysing current pop artists, why their music flopped, how a special era might have defined them, etc. Very interesting and well-researched.

Music Review/Music Reactions

ToddInTheShadows: I mean, if you like music review videos, you probably know Todd. Enigmatic, shadowy pianoman who reviews music and makes a lot of...unsuccessful predictions (we love you Toddstradamus). Has segments on one hit wonders, on bad records, on new songs, all that you could need. Plus he’s really funny. Who doesn’t love TitS?

Mr. 96: Music reviewer, whose opinions I generally agree with. He’s really funny and makes super enjoyable videos. Plus he likes kpop, if that’s your thing as well! Super enjoyable videos, don’t tell Mr. 69 I said that...

Diamond Axe Studios Music: Another music reviewer, with the BEST filming set of all of Youtube. He makes videos ranking Billboard chart top songs for each season, so if you like Opinions, then you’re gonna have a fun time. Really funny guy as well.

Nina Schofield: Music reviewer, she’s a singer, songwriter, musician, vocal coach and the nicest, cutest angel you’ve ever SEEN. Her reviews are one of the coolest and most professional, as she tends to focus on the instrumentals and the construction of the song, which is super interesting. She’s really talented as well, so please check her out!

AJayll: I’ve you’ve searched for ANY reaction vid you’ve seen AJ. She’s SO funny, her reactions are super engaging and absolutely hilarious, and it’s super infectious to watch her having a good time. Please watch her yell at Selena Gomez (”SALINAAA!!!) and call Dua Lipa “Zua Lapeeps”, it’s hysterical.

Reacts By Ash: She’s the Honorary Straight, y’all. Ash’s reactions are so fun and cute, she is just a MOOD. Her edition is absolutely hilarious and it definitely adds to the whole experience. Please don’t miss out.

Thethirdbill: The sweetest guy you’ll ever see! He does a series called Trying To Stan, in which he reacts to a lot of an artist’s work, trying to discover why people love them (and loving them in the process). He’s super open minded and sensitive, and it’s a delight watching him discover wonderful artists.

Movies / Animated Media / etc.

Schaffrillas Productions: This guy is just so funny. So freaking funny. He mostly makes videos ranting about animated movies, like why Shrek the Third Sucks, or why Megamind is an underrated Masterpiece, you get it. Also expect videos about musical songs, or disney songs, cause he’s a theater nerd, and I love it. ADORES TAMATOA, SOMEHOW. Also, makes YT Poops, so there’s a bit of that humor if it’s your thing.

24 Frames of Nick: He makes videos about movies, and those videos end up being hilarious. Lots of videos about movies that you probably forgot existed, about movies that are absolutely terrible, and he also made a nighmare-inducing video about the world of Thomas the Tank Engine. If you need cheering up, check him out.

Funny

NakeyJakey: I can’t explain NakeyJakey. Open a new tab and go watch one of his vids right now. He’s the funniest motherfucker ever. That’s all I can say.

[entwinedmoon]

John Torrington: Lord Have Mercy on the Frozen Man

(Previous posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

What do James Taylor and heavy metal band Iron Maiden have in common? They both saw a picture of a dead guy and thought, “This would make a great song.”

When John Torrington got his close-up in newspapers and magazines across the globe, his well-preserved, tragic visage inspired a renewed interest in the Franklin Expedition in various forms of media. He started cropping up in literary works, and some artists tried to capture how he may have looked in life. Surprisingly, he even had an impact on music.

I’ll admit that impact has been rather small. Over the years, there have been plenty of songs inspired by the Franklin Expedition—from traditional tunes like “Lady Franklin’s Lament” to Stan Roger’s rousing “Northwest Passage”—but the Franklin ice mummies don’t get as much attention in this particular artistic medium. There are about three songs I know of that are about (or assumed to be about) the mummies, and it’s John Torrington who gets all the attention once again, what little attention there is.

Of course, there aren’t a lot of songs out there about mummies in general, so it’s not so surprising that music isn’t where Torrington made a big splash. While music can be about anything and everything, one of the most popular topics for songs is romance, and people just don’t think mummies are particularly romantic, (except for Hozier. Please, please, please, someone get Hozier to write a song about the Franklin ice mummies).

The first song I have for you, and the most famous of the three, is by another well-known JT—James Taylor. Yes, the James Taylor. The man who’s seen fire and seen rain also saw pictures of John Torrington and became inspired to write a song, “The Frozen Man,” which appeared on his 1991 album New Moon Shine. Taylor explained once at a concert that he’d seen pictures of a man’s frozen body, preserved in the Arctic for over a hundred years, in National Geographic. He didn’t say the name John Torrington, but he didn’t really need to; it’s obvious who he meant.

However, there is a slight problem with his explanation. Try as I might, I have never been able to track down an issue of National Geographic with an article featuring pictures of Torrington, Hartnell, or Braine. And yet there have been several people—not just James Taylor—who’ve said they saw pictures of the mummies in National Geographic. I even purchased a digital subscription to go through the archives, and while I did find a small blurb about the lead poisoning findings, I never found any full articles and definitely not any pictures. Maybe I just wasn’t looking at the right issue, but I’ve come to the tentative conclusion that this is an example of the Mandela Effect, because there have been multiple people claiming to have seen pictures of Torrington in National Geographic but I can’t find the issue everyone seems to be referring to. If anyone out there has the issue people are talking about, please let me know.

But back to the song now. You can peruse the lyrics of “The Frozen Man” here, or you can listen to it below:

https://youtu.be/0aoxmfge4AE

The titular Frozen Man in this song is not Torrington himself but a Torrington-like fictional sailor who became frozen, and because it’s fiction, he’s brought back to life a hundred years after his death. Owen Beattie would sometimes have people ask him if there was a way that Torrington could have been revived. Torrington looks so close to life as it is, how hard could it be? But realistically there’s been too much internal decay of the cells for Torrington to ever be brought back to life, no matter how advanced our technology might become. But who doesn’t love the fantasy of bringing back someone from the past? It’s a popular trope—Captain America, Futurama, and even the ridiculous and regrettable Encino Man all use the same idea. There’s a great review of the song through a science fiction lens on Tor.com that explores this in detail. I myself have had quite a few ideas for stories that involve a reanimated Torrington—as a child, these were called nightmares, but as an adult I like to call them novels.

What I like about this song is how it explores the emotional toll that reviving Torrington—or other Frozen Men—would have on the poor man out of time. Everything he’s known—his family and friends—are all gone. He remembers dying—haunting memories he’ll always carry with him. Now he’s back, but at what cost? Just because you could bring someone back doesn’t mean you should. If we did have the technology to bring back Torrington, would it be right to do so? Or would it be a mercy to leave him as he is? In “The Frozen Man,” we see that it’s kinder to leave the dead be.

The next song on my list is of a very different style, and while it’s assumed to be about Torrington, I haven’t been able to definitively verify that. The song in question is “Stranger in a Strange Land” by Iron Maiden, from their album Somewhere in Time. It came out in 1986, the same year Hartnell and Braine were exhumed and autopsied, but since songs don’t usually get written, recorded, and released in a couple of months, this song is probably about Torrington, if it’s about any of the Beechey Boys. I say if because while it’s said by some that “Stranger in a Strange Land” was inspired by Torrington, the exact origin of the song is pretty vague. Adrian Smith, guitarist and singer for Iron Maiden, said that he had written the song after speaking with someone who had found a frozen body in the Arctic. But who did he talk to? Unfortunately, I can’t find much concrete information about the song’s inspiration. I suppose I could try asking Adrian Smith, but I’m not sure how to reach him, or if he’d respond to the weird woman asking about that one song about the dead guy from thirty-three years ago.

You can take a listen below, or read the lyrics here.

https://youtu.be/q7IdqkaGyU8

Like “The Frozen Man,” this song deals with a Torrington-like fictional explorer who died in a “land of ice and snow,” and his body became preserved in the ice. Unlike “The Frozen Man,” however, this Stranger doesn’t become revived. Instead, his spirit is trapped in this icy land where his body has been frozen for a hundred years. This is more fantasy than sci-fi, verging into horror—he’s haunting the land where he died, trapped and yearning to be freed. The pictures of Torrington are remarkable but incredibly creepy, and he does look like a supernatural being that could be haunting the Arctic (after all, I had no problem thinking he haunted my closet when I was growing up). Torrington looks frozen in time (perfect name for a book about him), so it’s not such a stretch of the imagination to think he’s been frozen in more ways than one, body and soul. In this song, his body is found, but it’s not clear if that frees him from his icy prison or not. The song ends repeating the chorus, focusing on the loneliness of the desolate land and dying so far from home.

The third and final song I have for you today is not as well-known as the previous two. And there’s no question about who the subject is—the song is called “John Torrington.” This song is by Canadian musician Matthew Mutch, from his album Steeltown Pilgrim. I stumbled across this song earlier this year when looking for John Torrington videos on YouTube. Mutch is not a big name like Taylor, and it’s hard to find much information about him, but he wrote a brief explanation for his purpose behind his song on his website, (where you can also find the lyrics):

“My interest in the history of arctic exploration and the search for the northwest passage brought me to write this—my homage to not only John Franklin and his crew, but to all the many brave 19th century travelers and adventurers who risked their lives to unlock the mysteries of the frozen north.”

The song starts off with a spoken-word introduction about the Franklin Expedition to explain to anyone unfamiliar with the topic the background behind the song. You can listen to the song here:

https://youtu.be/Gcc41yHDcYA

This song features a spectral Torrington haunting Sir John Franklin. It’s not a scary type of haunting per se, but he appears as an ominous warning to Franklin about the sad fate awaiting him and the rest of the crew. Torrington as a harbinger of doom is a trope that I’ve seen a lot in Franklin-related literature, something I will go into more in depth in another post. The song, while named after Torrington, is less about him and more about the death of the entire expedition, with him serving as a canary in a coalmine.

These three songs are all different, but they all focus on Torrington (or a Torrington stand-in) in death and in some form of afterlife, whether it’s a spirit haunting the land or his shipmates or if it’s a second chance on life through some technological marvel. Because there’s not much known about his life, most people focus on his death, as that and his mummified image are what have made him notable in the saga of the Franklin Expedition. Perhaps because we know so much more about his death, it can be hard to imagine him in life.

But there are some who have tried.

Next: Torrington as depicted in art—from attempts at reconstructing what he looked like, to Torrington in a graphic novel and more.

<<Back | Next >>

Torrington Series Masterlist

[marvelfanlife]

15x06 & 15x07

I’m going to be honest not really looking forward to these episodes but let’s see how things turn out. Spoilers below. 

15x06, ‘Date Night’:

But the guy isn’t missing yet

Max and Reid are cute 

Why bring back Cat

Wtf, this episode is already so weird 

Luke and Tara teaming up 

How dare they use Garcia’s number 

JJ and Matt working together 

They’re really doing this aren’t they

Please just end this 

Tara and JJ teaming up 

I hate this 

Luke stop this kiss, don’t just stand there

Maxis me with this storyline

Garcia and Matt teaming up 

Cat miscarried 

Was Max in a abusive relationship 

Emily with her arm around Max

How did they outsmart Cat 

Max: So she’s like the mean girl but more stabby

JJ, Matt and Garcia ‘Yes’

Favourite scene out of the entire episode 

Max wasn’t in an abusive relationship 

The team and Max outsmarted Cat 

That whole flashback scene felt like something from Scooby doo 

‘She’s not her boyfriend!’ 

Aww Max and Reid had their first kiss 

15x07. ‘Rusty’:

What show is this 

Emily got flowers from Mendoza

I love JJ’s dress

Emily is me in my lectures 

Is that Genevieve from B99?

Yep it is Genevieve, I think that’s the second person we've seen from B99, the actor who plays Lynch was also in an episode of B99

Well that’s gruesome 

What is that mask 

Everyone’s faces when they found out Andrew is in Denver 

Andrew also has a daughter 

aww the little hug between Matt and Andrew

Luke and Tara are teaming up 

Does this mean Tara and Reid have Doctor Who marathons? 

Parallel universe?

CM is now a sci-fi show 

Mandela effect?

Why do I have a feeling Emily is going to leave the BAU

Luke and Garcia flirting

The unsub lost his son 

Emily and Andrew teaming up against that social worker 

Emily is talking about herself 

aww Tara and Matt sleeping 

Rossi is always meeting famous people 

Aww Emily and Andrew holding hands 

This week’s episodes were okay. I didn’t like ‘Date Night’ that much, the only part I liked was the flashbacks to the team outsmarting Cat and Reid and that’s it. ‘Rusty’ was okay, I liked seeing how Emily was dealing with the long distance relationship and the last scene with Emily, Andrew and his daughter, I have a feeling that Emily may leave the BAU at the end of the series and I don't know how I feel about that. I'm hoping I’m wrong about it but I have feeling that I'm not.