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alessiathepirate · 8 months

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Until Dawn

A SMALL JOY: Josh Washington x fem!reader

Summary: Taking Dr Hill's advice, Josh and his lover go up to the lodge and look through all the things his sisters had left behind - after an interesting find she does her best to take his mind off the sadness he's experiencing.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

To be honest, Until Dawn is still one of my favourite horror games. Thanks to the game I found my favourite YouTube channel, my English improved a lot because I wanted to understand every word, and I have a huge crush on Rami Malek to this very day. Me and my friends were obsessed with him the time the game came out, and soon started to watch more of his work together.

Josh Washington was one of my first fictional crushes, I could defend him for years without getting tired and I drew him so many times I actually learned how to draw portraits correctly.

There's a gameplay I like to rewatch every year, because of the great memories I have connected to it. I always fall in love with Josh Washington once again - and thanks to that tradition, I started to write for him as well.

Warnings: a bit of swearing, mentioned depression and loss, mentioning the Washington sisters' disappearance and/or death

•••

° "(...) We would come up in the summer and we would have the best time. The whole family was there - mom, dad, my sisters. It was some serious competition out there on the big lawn... I don't know. Can't go back. New reality." °

She listens carefully, noticing every little pitch or drop in Josh's voice as he speaks - and as he puts down the baseball bat all she can think about is grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, a tight one, the kind that is both loving and comforting. She watches him, she examines his every little move and her heart aches every single time she finds a new sign of sadness.

She hates it.

She hates that look on his face. She hates that change in his voice. She hates that he feels alone. She hates that the whole case is making him go crazy. She hates that nothing is certain and he can't even grieve.

She hates that he had to change so much; that he had to become this depressed because of some stupid, messed up prank their friends had decided to pull on his sister.

He didn't deserve any of it. He doesn't deserve any of it. None of the Washington kids do.

Coming up here was already hard - back to the mountain where Hannah and Beth disappeared, where they played around like stupid teenagers do. Dr Hill said it's for the best - Josh needs some closure, some proof that he needs to slowly start to move on. She thinks it's bullshit - Josh thinks so too. It won't be easy to put yourself through something like this.

But regardless, they came. They are here now, looking through the rooms, the basement...

The memories are hurting her - and if she as a friend is hurting this badly than Josh must suffer a lot.

"Teach me." the words suddenly burst out before she can stop them, wanting to make Josh concentrate on something else - not wanting him to get lost in his own mind.

"What?" the question is loud in the basement.

"Teach me how to play." she continues on, feeling unsure like she tries to cross a very thin and sensitive line. "I've never played baseball before."

"It's been a while since I did so." Josh starts to explain, his gaze falling on the bat he put down. "You really- want to?"

She steps closer to him slowly, carefully, as if she tries to get close to a very scared and wounded animal. She touches his arm, her fingers hold him as her thumb brushes along his skin in an up and down motion. She leans towards him, her face touching his shoulder as she presses a kiss to the area what isn't covered by his t-shirt.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she whispers. "I know it's not-" she holds that thought and says something else instead: "I just haven't seen you play yet and I want to join in."

Josh looks at her over his shoulder, he looks at her as she tries to smile even if her eyes stay sad. He watches her like she's the only thing he has left, like she's the only person who matters anymore. He looks at her and feels something break inside, realizing that she really is the only one who he has.

"All right." he says and when he sees her eyes change a tiny bit - showing a bit of happiness - he feels his heart flutter. It makes him feel better, it makes him want to touch her too, putting his hand over hers - over the one which is still clinging onto his arm. "As long as you promise me you won't accidentally hit yourself with the bat."

And there's what he wanted to see - her expression changes, playful offence takes the sadness' place and she gently hits his back.

"Hey! I wouldn't do that."

"You totally wouldn't." his sarcasm earns him another punch and despite the situation and the place, he feels like he got something back.

The last time they bickered like this was half a year ago, the night his sisters had disappeared. They drank and played around until they started to make out in the kitchen, only stopping when Chris stepped inside the room wanting some booze for himself.

As they climb the stairs hand in hand they both feel somewhat relieved. They found a kind of small joy, a bit of happiness - something what they had left here months ago. Josh chuckles when she trips and almost falls, she feels excited as he hands her the baseball bat outside.

"Since there're only the two of us here, I think it's best I teach you how to hit the ball and not yourself."

"I'm not that clumsy Mister!" she tries to sound offended, but it doesn't work.

"I know you too well, girl; and I don't trust you with that at all."

Josh stands behind her, keeping a gentle hold on both of her arms as he explains how to stand and how to hold the bat. She chuckles when he playfully tickles her and this time she doesn't feel guilty about laughing. Before he lets go of her to throw the ball, he gives her a short hug and presses a kiss into the crook of her neck.

She misses the first time...

and the second time; and the third time...

She misses and Josh laughs and she thinks it's the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.

They change positions after a while and no matter how she throws, Josh never misses - not even once. He hits the ball every single time and it flies and lands far away.

She has the feeling that in that very moment, doing that very thing they both feel somewhat complete. She feels like Josh's smiles are honest, his laughs are honest and she forgets about Dr Hill and his stupid advice.

"No shit you like to play it." she says after a while as the both of them are lying in the grass, her head resting on Josh's arm. "It is fun."

"Believe me darling, it is much more fun when you actually hit the ball." his voice has a teasing edge to it and for a moment she thinks about turning towards him and hitting him playfully once again - but she doesn't.

Instead - hoping to get something more, trying to get a kind of good change out of him, she says: "I will, after a bit more training. You'll teach me, I have no doubt about that."

Josh turns towards her, gently touching her face and playing with her hair. She tries to read his face and she realizes that he understands what she's playing at. She wonders if he'll get upset or sad... but she gets an answer pretty quickly.

"I will - of course I will. You'll be the best player in this damn country."

The muscles in her face twitch and she feels like she'll cry. It's been so long, so long since Josh smiled and laughed that now seeing it again feels like a whole new experience. She doesn't want to leave the place or the moment. It's too nice.

"Better than you?"

"Way better." he promises and lets go of the lock of hair he's been playing with. "I love you, you know that, right?"

She feels frozen at the question and starts to wonder where it's coming from. The doubt in his voice, the softness in his eyes... He deserves the world, he deserves everything in it and he deserves to know that he does enough for her - she feels his love and every single emotion and action it causes.

"Of course I do... I know." she promises. "I love you too. And I'm here for you, no matter what."

It's her turn to lean in and she kisses him, making sure the kiss is soft and calm. She wants to make him feel whole and safe. She wants him to be happy.

They lay back down and stay quiet for a bit, enjoying the sunlight and the light summer breeze. She feels like she could melt. Melt into the feeling and moment forever, without ever getting bored.

"You know," Josh starts suddenly, his voice soft and unsure. "it's been a while since I've taken you out on a date."

"It's fine, Josh. These past months weren't exactly the best."

"No... I know." for a few moments he stays silent, not knowing what to say. "All I want to say is I have a few movies here we can watch and we can have a nice time before we-"

"-go back to them." she finishes, understanding what he means.

Them. All the friends, all the family members and pals who show an annoying amount of pity. All of those people who try to comfort Josh when doesn't want to do anything with them. The people who make him feel worse than better.

"I'd love that." she smiles at him as he turns towards him and hugs him. "But no horror."

"No horror." Josh nods.

It wouldn't be good for either of them.

She kisses his shoulder as they get going, stretching their muscles, before climbing the stairs to go and find the movies Josh was talking about.

As they look over his DVDs while hugging, all she can think about is how unfair life is, because Josh doesn't deserve any of the problems life threw at him...

#until dawn #until dawn x reader #josh washington #josh washington x reader #josh washington x fem!reader #hannah washington #beth washington

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aksually2008 · 1 year

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aksel's guide to relaxing media

A lot of people have asked me to compile a list of my go-to depressing/dooming media, but I feel it would be irresponsible to give you that without an antidote.

Maybe this will be of help to you on an anxious night and instead of smoking a cigarette you'll turn to this or maybe its a nice cozy afternoon and you need something to maintain that feeling.. either way here's stuff that I consume on those days:

Film/TV

youtube

Joe Pera Talks You to Sleep

This is something I have recommended to most of my friends at this point and if you ever give me the opportunity I'll probably talk your ear off about this man. I have a very special affinity towards this video, as it randomly found me on a particularly stressful quarantine night and boy am I glad it did.

I'm not gonna talk about it too much further, but if you're feeling a little bit lost or anxious, even after my 250 watches of this, I end up feeling a little bit better. If you like it make sure to check out his show, Joe Pera Talks With You on hbomax as it's one of my favourite shows ever!! The episodes are short and easy to digest :)

How to With John Wilson

It's hard for me to exactly describe this show, it's just one of those things you have to see for yourself to fully understand the appeal of it. For the most part, this show uses street footage of New York City and interviews with average everyday New Yorkers to convey some kind of narrative, usually disguised as a tutorial(hence the "how to"). There's a lot of absurdity, laughter and sometimes it plays with your emotions a bit, but sometimes it's nice to just unwind and learn about the insane industry of scaffolding in NYC.

youtube

Come and Visit Us Again

Okay, so this is probably one of the most niche things here.. Considering that it has 205 views as of me writing this and it's in estonian with no captions available.(Maybe someday I'll translate it)

As far as I can tell, it is a documentary short made by Liis Nimik, who at the time was a film school student. It follows the day-to-day of a village grocery store cashier and her interactions with the people who visit her store everyday.

Moms, dads, scary little kids and village bums.. It has it all and serves as this kind of a sweet time capsule of one particular week in this one Estonian village. I will admit this is probably extra comforting for me as I grew up near a village similar to this that also had a store just like this one. In a small village, the people who work at the local grocery store really become apart of your everyday life and I loved to see it captured like this.

I feel like even if you don't understand Estonian, it's nice background noise.

Malcom in the Middle

Need I say more?

Youtube

If you know me, you know I'm a fiend for comforting youtube personalities. Here are some of my favorites:

youtube

Steve Wallis

Even if you aren't particularly interested in camping, you'll still probably enjoy these videos. Steve is probably one of the sweetest dudes I've found on YouTube and he really knows how to keep a conversation. All in all, just nice to throw on if you just wanna disconnect for 30 minutes

youtube

Shirley Curry

I've loved Shirley's stuff for years now. She calls her viewers her grandkids and posts vlogs & let's plays. I think that covers the gist of it.

youtube

Featureman a.k.a. Tom Willett

This is an older gentleman, who for the most part shows you different meals that he makes & tells you stories about his time as an actor in the 1980s. Every video feels like you're visiting your grandpa.

youtube

GIFGAS

I found them quite recently, but they're quickly turning into my favourite Youtube channel. Videos of trainhopping, which are so well shot and the music choices are soooooo gooooood. Every travel vlog should have a mandatory requirement of at least (1) shoegaze song.

youtube

Roger Hance

Found this guy randomly on my recommended and him only having 4k subs feels like a crime. He's a bird photographer, who vlogs his outings and talks about all the little birds he sees. super cute.

Music

Below are a couple of playlists and tracks I recommend for this occasion:

Mixture of ambient tracks and just relaxing instrumentals. There's no vocals. During the summer, I would always listen to this if I was sitting in a park or doodling.

This is just some of my favourite ambient tracks. If you've never really listened to ambient music before, check this out I guarantee you'll like it.

I have fallen asleep to this so many times that sometimes i just constantly hear it in the back of my head. Maybe thats not a comforting thought but it helps me sleep so that's a price I am willing to pay.

That's about it though.. I didn't include everything, because this is already pretty long and I have to keep some things secret, but I hope you find use in some of this. bye

#comforting #aksually #Youtube #Spotify

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ssahotstuff · 1 year

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Aaron Hotchner x reader (virgin/innocent reader)

Part 4

Part 3 can be found here

Warnings: fingering, oral fem receiving, unprotected sex, angst with Haley, cursing, some alcohol use, angst in general kinda

Word Count: 5.4k

The day Jack went home, Aaron called Haley beforehand to tell her they needed to talk. You were down the hall with Jack, cleaning up his room with him, helping him organize everything the way it had been prior. You often helped him get ready to go back home, he usually asked you to.

"The next time I come to your house, can we make donuts? I saw a video on YouTube and it looks really easy," Jack often helped you in the kitchen—the two of you were always baking treats for Aaron to take on cases, and to enjoy with the two of you when he came home. Haley's newfound attitude had put a damper on the time you'd usually be spending with him—but hopefully Aaron could convince Haley that you weren't so bad after all.

"As long as your mom is okay with it," you didn't want to crush his spirits, but you were planning from this moment forward to run everything by Haley so you didn't step on any toes.

"I'll ask her when I get home! I have to get your picture too!"

A moment later, Aaron was coming down the hall to collect the two of you so you could leave. Aaron's hand found yours, so instead of getting in the car as he put Jack in his seat, you stood behind him as he worked. Once he had Jack's door closed, he turned to you.

"When we get to Haley's, let me do the talking, that way she gets mad at me, not you."

You nodded, sighing heavily. You didn't want Aaron to be the target of her fury either, and that also meant you were completely unable to defend yourself against anything she might have to say to you in return.

Aaron hated how much this was hurting you. Haley was already unhappy on the phone, and it would only get worse when the two of you arrived to talk. Aaron knew Haley well enough to know she wouldn't make this easy for him, or you, but he had to try.

✨✨✨

45 minutes later, you were seated on Haley's patio in a chair next to Aaron. Haley was sitting across from you while Jack stayed inside with Haley's sister Jessica, who seemed much more pleasant by far. She'd greeted you with a warm smile, and even shot Haley a sideways glance when Haley refused to acknowledge you.

"There's nothing in our divorce agreement that says he's allowed to stay with your girlfriend," she spat, getting straight to the point. You did as Aaron asked and sat quietly, your hands folded neatly in your lap.

"There's also not a single word about him coming home if I have a case," he countered, knowing that was an arrangement she'd decided out of nowhere just to try and get back at him.

"Does she even know anything about taking care of a kid, Aaron? He's on a schedule, I can't have some random stranger you're sleeping with this month—"

Aaron cut her off quickly, his voice calm yet stern.

"That's really rich coming from you—how many random strangers did he see when you were sleeping around during our marriage, Haley?"

You brain was fixated on what she had said—had there been many women before you? Secrets he was keeping because he was embarrassed? He'd only ever told you about Haley, but they'd been apart for two and a half years when you met—that gave him plenty of time to do whatever he wanted.

"You honestly think that little of me, Aaron? Jack never saw a thing on my end," she defended, turning on the tears—Aaron's posture immediately changed when she started to cry; he softened visibly, moving his hands to the table, almost as if he wanted to reach out and comfort her.

"I—I shouldn't have said that, Haley. I'm sorry. I just don't understand why you're changing your mind now. We've been together nearly a year. She's a part of Jack's life," Haley sniffled, wiping her eyes before she said anything else. You felt as powerless as ever, watching her play Aaron like a fiddle.

"You don't even live together—he bounces around enough between my place and yours. He doesn't need another place to get used to."

Haley was finding any excuse in the world to keep Jack away from you. Aaron felt like he was running out of options—there wasn't a clear solution, not one that Haley would agree to anyway.

"She's not going anywhere, Haley. I'm not letting you take this away from me," Aaron was exasperated, feeling like he was being pulled around on a string, still controlled by Haley long after their relationship had ended.

"I'm not budging on this, Aaron. Unless you want to fight me in court, Jack comes home when you get a case. End of discussion."

She stood from the table and opened the door leading inside, signifying that the conversation was over and that the two of you needed to leave. Jack came rushing from his room, running right up to you and Aaron. He gave you both a big hug before turning his attention to you.

"I can't find your picture anywhere. Mommy, have you seen it?"

Haley gave Jack a sympathetic smile before looking to you, shooting you an icy glare before she replied.

"I'm so sorry, Jack! I must've thrown it away," you could hear the venom seething from her words, your heart nearly torn in two at how vindictive Aaron's ex wife could truly be.

Once you were in Aaron's car, you expected him to say something—anything that might make you feel a tiny bit better about the situation. You were stone cold silent, staring out the passenger window as he navigated you back to his house. He had both hands on the wheel, his eyes set straight ahead on the road.

The silence didn't end until his phone rang. He answered it quickly, and you assumed it was work on the other end, about to pull him away from you before you could even talk.

"I'll be there in an hour. You can start without me, I'll get up to speed on the jet," he said, glancing over at you quickly. He knew the timing wasn't ideal, but he couldn't help when his job took him away from you. He hung up the phone and cleared his throat, his hand coming across the console to rest on your thigh.

"I don't think it'll always be like this. She just needs time to get used to you is all," he said, trying to sound as optimistic as he could given the circumstances. In your eyes, Aaron was still trying to defend her—you couldn't imagine having an ex that had done you as dirty as she did—and you especially couldn't fathom defending them over Aaron. You knew there was a major difference—there was a child involved. But you were perfectly capable of taking care of him. Aaron hadn't bothered mentioning that, though.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

You didn't bother looking away from the window. Aaron knew you were upset; you had every right to be. He knew if the roles were reversed, he'd be livid. For the first time in your relationship, he was worried—afraid of how this might make things exponentially harder on you in the future. If Haley didn't come around, it would certainly make your life much more difficult than it needed to be. He was afraid you'd grow tired of the fights and drama and leave him alone—and that was the last thing that he wanted.

When you got back to Aaron's house, he led you inside while he gathered his things to get ready to leave. You sat on the bed and watched him buzz around the room quietly, stewing in your own frustrations about the situation. Aaron let you be; he didn't want to make things worse. He leaned down to kiss you, tilting your chin upward with his fingertips.

"I love you. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

You nodded, smiling back at him—you knew there was so much more that needed to be said, but instead, you told him you loved him too and let him walk out the door. You swallowed that feeling of dread that came from all of your unanswered questions and tried to compose yourself as much as possible. You should've known Haley would outcast you, and you wouldn't dare put Aaron in a position where he had to defy the mother of his child. It would only end bad for everyone involved.

You decided then that Haley would have to try a hell of a lot harder to push you away. Aaron and Jack were your life, your future, and just because she'd let it slip away before didn't mean you were going to make the same mistake.

✨✨✨

When the week began, you tried to put all of your energy into work so you wouldn't have time to think about anything else. At the end of the day on Wednesday, your boss had called you into his office, which had you worried the entire walk from your floor to his. Mr. Jennings wasn't exactly a kind person—in fact, he was terrifying. He wasn't a man of many words, so the fact that he wanted to talk to you had your palms sweating profusely as you knocked on the door to his office. He called for you to come in, so you opened the door and shot him a dazzling smile, hoping it would soften the blow.

"Hi, sir. You wanted to see me?"

He gave you a once-over, taking you in fully, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. He nodded towards the empty chair nearest to you so you sat, crossing your legs and clasping your hands together.

"You've been on fire this week."

You were taken aback that he'd noticed, given his usual lack of recognition to the majority of the people on your team. This was a rare occurrence to your knowledge, so you were slightly baffled.

"Just trying to make the most of my time, sir."

He gave you a tight lipped smile, nodding to the paperwork on his desk.

"More than that. You've exceeded every expectation we have. That's an impressive feat."

You weren't sure what to say, so you just nodded, smoothing out your skirt nervously.

"Thank you sir," you said finally, and he cleared his throat, holding up what looked like a contract—which really confused you.

"I'm offering you a partnership. The flexibility will allow you to work from home if you want, just keep showing me the kind of initiative I've been seeing the last couple of weeks. You'll get a sign on bonus and an official title change; a raise and a car from the fleet, too."

This was the last thing you had expected. You knew you'd been working harder to avoid the current problems at hand, but you didn't know it would lead to such a monumental moment in your career.

"Wow—sir, thank you. I don't even know what to say."

He handed you a pen so you could make it official, shaking your hand firmly as he stood to his feet.

"You can clean out your desk and take the rest of the day off, start fresh at home tomorrow. You deserve it. See Angie at the front desk to get the keys to your new ride," he beamed happily back at you as you gathered your copy of the new contract and headed back to your desk for the last time. You couldn't wait until Aaron was home—there was cause for celebration, and you couldn't have been happier.

✨✨✨

Aaron was running on two days of no sleep when he finally reached his hotel room, exhausted to tears. He collapsed on the bed after kicking off his shoes, immediately checking his phone to see if it was too late to call you. He had to factor in the time zone difference, but it was still kind of early for you, so he hit send, waiting to hear your voice fill the other line.

"Hey, baby. Miss me yet?"

Your lighthearted demeanor was exactly what Aaron needed right now. The case was taking a toll on everyone—the ones involving children usually did. He was praying for a break, desperate to make it back home to you without falling apart beforehand.

"More than you could ever imagine. It's been rough," the last thing he wanted to do was tell you about the case; he couldn't really, and you didn't deserve the nightmares that it would surely cause you.

"I'm so sorry baby. I know it isn't easy. What can I do to make it better for you?" Your voice was soft and as sweet as candy, already easing part of his worries just by answering the phone when he called.

"I just need you, to hear your voice. How was work today?"

Aaron was thrilled to hear about your promotion, the fact that you could work from anywhere really opened a lot of doors for you. You weren't tied down to the office, which meant you could stay with him more and just work from the comfort of his office if you wanted to. You were so excited to tell him, it only made him wish he would've been there when you got off work to hear the news firsthand.

"We'll celebrate when I get back. The ladies have been wanting to see you; we could go out, if you wanted," Aaron typically didn't frequent the team's nights out at clubs, but for you, he was willing to make plenty of exceptions.

"You hate going out," you reminded him, but what he liked didn't matter as long as you were happy in the long run.

You talked until Aaron couldn't hold his eyes open any longer. He knew there was a lot left to be said about the situation Haley had put the two of you in, but for now, all that mattered was that you'd be waiting for him when he got back.

✨✨✨

The next time you saw Haley was without Aaron. He was still out of town, but you'd decided to take your work to the local coffee shop. You hadn't expected to see her, considering this wasn't her part of town, but you decided to say something anyway, just to be polite. You managed to catch her attention as she was waiting for her order, walking up to her with your head held high.

"Haley! How funny running into you here," she nodded back at you, looking around before she spoke.

"I'm surprised you're talking to me without Aaron here to defend you," she quipped, but you weren't taking her bait, not by a long shot.

"Defend me from what, you? I choose not to speak—unlike you, I don't want an argument," it was the last thing in the world that you wanted honestly, but she refused to let things be simple.

"There isn't anything to argue about. You are just a placeholder—something to keep Aaron occupied until he comes back home. You think you'll take my place, be his wife one day? Think again—he may love you, but he will never give you his last name."

She said it as if it were a stone cold fact—that it had already been decided. You didn't let this break you; you kept a brave face and blinked back the frustration so you could have the last word.

"Believe me when I say that the second we decide to get married, you'll be the first one with an invitation, Haley. Wouldn't want you to miss out on Aaron marrying the love of his life," you gave her the brightest smile you could muster before walking back to your table and continuing your work. She was playing a dangerous game, trying to come between you and Aaron—one that she wouldn't win, no matter how hard she tried.

✨✨✨

"So, have you met Haley yet?"

Emily was the first to ask after they practically pulled you to the bar to do shots. Aaron had given you a happy nod and told you to go have fun, sitting in a booth with Spencer and Derek. You were sandwiched between Emily and JJ, and Penelope was to your far left, listening in when she could. The topic of Haley piqued everyone's interest, so you had their full attention.

"Oh yes. She hates me, to put it mildly," you told them, and Emily snickered in response.

"I'll bet she does. You're pretty, funny, and young! I'm sure she despises you," Emily said, passing you a shot before taking one for herself.

"You can't let a woman like Haley bring you down. She didn't want Hotch, but she didn't want to see him happy with someone else. It was so toxic," JJ explained. You wondered how Aaron had lasted so long in something so obviously deteriorating; did he see the signs and ignore them? Would he do the same in your relationship? You'd never know, but you'd always wonder.

"Sounds like it," you agreed, hoping the conversation shifted to something lighter—you didn't want to spend your night of celebration talking about the one person in the world who couldn't stand you.

From across the bar, Aaron could see your discomfort. He was immediately rethinking the entire night judging from the look on your face alone. He didn't want to interrupt if you were busy, so he sent you a text asking if you wanted to meet him outside for some air instead. He went in the direction of the front door, deciding he'd wait for you at the side of the building where it was less crowded.

You didn't bother replying—you told the girls you needed some air and they let you go without argument. You had just rounded the corner when you saw him, leaned up against the brick wall of the building. Even in the lamplight he looked delicious; you were convinced he'd worn the olive green polo just to tease you all night. His arms were practically bulging through the tiny sleeves; you'd caught more than one woman staring at him tonight.

Your fingers felt his belt loops as you leaned into him, resting your head on his chest. You could still hear the music pouring from the speakers inside, but you could feel the drumming of his heart, beating wildly in his chest.

"Talk to me; you don't look happy," Aaron could tell your mood had been off for days, but he hadn't said anything. This was the first time he'd seen you in five days, so he hadn't really had the chance. He'd known something was up though, just from your voice on the phone.

"I'm fine, really. I just have a headache is all," you told him, but he wasn't buying it—not tonight.

"Don't tell me that. Something's going on with you, and I can see it. Is this about Haley? Is that what you want to do tonight?" He knew how accusatory it sounded, but he couldn't take it back now. Your hands fell from his sides and you backed away, taking a step forward back towards the door.

"No, it isn't. I'm not doing this, Aaron."

You sighed heavily before making your way back inside. Aaron stayed behind for a few moments, giving you enough time to find the girls before he came back inside. He decided then that he'd keep his distance for the rest of the night—he'd already made you upset when the night was supposed to be centered around you.

Derek gave Aaron a curious look when Aaron joined him at the table. Aaron sipped his drink and prayed no one said anything, but Derek wasn't letting him off that easily.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Aaron shook his head, not wanting to air out their business, but at the same time, he did want an outside perspective on things.

"I don't know. Haley doesn't like her—I'm in a tricky position trying to make them both happy—trying to keep things civil," he finished off the rest of his drink and decided he was done for the night so he could drive the two of you home.

"Woah—why in the world do you care about making Haley happy? Haley isn't your friend, Hotch. She's your ex wife. You have a custody agreement signed by a judge—she can't keep Jack from you. Pleasing my ex wife would be the last thing on my mind if I had a woman like you've got," Derek said, glancing towards the bar where you sat, looking like there was a personal rain cloud above your head, pouring on what was supposed to be a good night.

"It's not about pleasing Haley—it's about Jack's parents getting along to some degree."

Derek shook his head, leaning in closer.

"You pick Jack up, and drop him off. There is no getting along. What do you have to talk about? You're not friends, Hotch! The longer you ride the fence, the higher your chances are of only having Haley to turn to in the end," he said flatly, standing up to go to the bar. He left Aaron alone to think about what he'd said; as much as he hated to admit it, Derek was right.

You were seated between Emily and JJ when Aaron came up behind you, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Want to get a milkshake before we head home?"

Aaron was trying to salvage what was left of your night, hoping you wouldn't turn away from him again. You gave him a nod and said your goodbyes, taking his hand as he led you to the front door. As soon as you'd made your exit he was turning to you, taking both of your hands in his.

"I'm sorry. I've been handling this all wrong, this situation with Haley. I've been trying to put your feelings and hers in the same category and that isn't fair. I don't care what Haley thinks; I only want you to be happy," he told you, his eyes full of remorse. He hated that you spent so much of your night mad at him over what he'd said.

"It's okay, Aaron. I don't ever expect you to be on my side when it comes to Haley. You two have a lot more history than we do; I get it, really," even though you understood, it didn't make it hurt any less. Haley thought that their past trumped his current feelings.

"I'm always on your side! I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am," he defended, raising his voice loud enough to draw the attention of a group of young guys passing by. One of them quickly asked if you were okay and you nodded, removing your hands from Aaron's grasp so you could wipe the tears from your eyes.

"So I'm just supposed to sit around and listen to her talk about me like I'm not in the room for the rest of my life? And what's even worse is that you don't open your mouth to defend me, not even the slightest."

You turned around and walked in the direction of the car with Aaron on your heels. He unlocked the car so you could climb in, waiting to start the vehicle until you'd finished your conversation.

"I know that I let her get away with saying some inexcusable things. That's on me. What I'm telling you now is that I won't ever do it again. I'm aware that I've made mistakes—please let me fix them."

He opened the glovebox and found you a pack of tissues, moving the middle console so he could come closer. He dabbed at the mascara running down your face gently, trying not to irritate your skin. Your breathing was shaky and shallow as you tried to calm down, finally turning to look at him for the first time since you'd gotten in the vehicle. The minute your eyes caught his gaze, his face softened, his hand coming to cup your face as you leaned into his touch.

"She made me feel so stupid, Aaron. It's all I've thought about since it happened," Aaron took you in his arms, kissing you on the top of the head as you finally gave in and let him comfort you. He'd been gone so long it felt silly to fight it any longer; now that the air had been cleared, you finally felt like you'd be able to rest. You'd spent the week stressing about Haley and the interaction you'd had with her; wondering how you were going to confront Aaron and finish your conversation. Between that and your new job title, your week had been a big ball of nerves. You were finally getting the chance to calm down a little.

"I love you so much. I'm so sorry she made you feel that way; I'll never let her get away with it again baby. I thought I was keeping the peace, but I was just making a mess," he explained, letting go of you long enough to try to get a look at your features in the darkness of the car. He hated to see you upset, especially because of something that he'd done.

"I love you. I know you had good intentions, Aaron. I also know we're both new to this. We're gonna figure it out together, okay?"

Aaron was thankful for your patience; he'd never expected to love anyone else, so he was clueless as to what he was supposed to do when it came to Haley. Clearly he hadn't been making the right choices up to this point; he'd have to change or risk losing you, and that wasn't happening.

"Together. Now let's get you that milkshake."

✨✨✨

Later that night you were tucked into bed next to him, his shirt draped over your body, his hand on your bare thigh as the tv droned on in the background. You stopped paying attention to it when his hand began to move upward, his eyes still trained on the television. Before you knew it, he was parting your thighs, scooting down on the bed so he could lay between your legs. It started innocently enough; his head on your thighs as he tried and failed to focus on the movie he'd picked out. Soon enough, he gave up, rolling over on his stomach so he could kiss the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs. After a rocky start to your night, Aaron was going to make sure the remainder of the evening was spent making you happy.

"I love you—so fucking much," he breathed, his mouth hovering directly above your center, nothing but a tiny piece of fabric in the way.

"I love you, Aaron. Always," you promised him as his hands crept upward to pull your panties down. Aaron took a deep breath as he spread you open, eyes darting between you and your dripping core. He ran a teasing finger through your slick before settling on your clit, rubbing small, precise circles over your bundle of nerves. He always knew exactly how to touch you, driving you mad as soon as his hands were on your body.

"Yes baby," you panted, so Aaron sped up a little, his lips curling into a grin as you shook, your legs wiggling with a mind of their own. Aaron yanked his shirt over his head and disappeared between your thighs, sucking your clit between his lips, causing your back to arch immediately. Aaron's tongue was relentless against you, the orgasms becoming more powerful as time passed by. Aaron loved seeing you like this, your eyes glassy, lips pouty and swollen as you stared down at him.

Aaron would never get tired of pleasuring you—it was something that he quite literally ached to do. His mind ran rampant with thoughts of how he could fuck you, new things he could try with his tongue to keep you satisfied. He wasn't typically the kind of man to try new things, but late at night when he was away from you, he'd browse the internet for things that he'd never expected to enjoy, making a mental list of things he could introduce to you.

Aaron's mouth worked tirelessly against you, and soon enough he was coating his finger in your arousal so he could slip it into you, curling it perfectly against your sweet spot. You saw stars as his finger pumped into you and his tongue swirled around your clit, your hands falling to his hair out of reflex. He whimpered as you tugged lightly at his hair, so you peered down to make sure what you'd done was okay. You hadn't expected him to be looking back at you, his cheeks tinted red, his lips glistening in the lamp light.

"Do that again," he hissed, so you pulled a little bit harder and he nodded, licking his lips before he reattached them to your core. He was always so content between your legs; you could only lay back and enjoy him in all of his perfection, baffled that you had such an attentive, loving man.

Aaron had lost count of how many times you'd came on his tongue; he wasn't sure any amount would ever be enough to satisfy his hunger for you. He'd been busy so long that when he glanced to his left, he noticed the sky changing from a dusky purple to a kaleidoscope of pinks and oranges. He chuckled lowly as he came up on his knees, nodding to the window so you could see too.

"I want to be inside of you as the sun comes up," he whispered, taking his time pressing into you. He was always so patient with you, giving you plenty of time to adjust to his massive member—you'd never get used to the way he felt when he first slid into you. His hand found yours as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your lips as his hips began to move. You were finally to the point that there wasn't a single moment of being uncomfortable anymore—it was all pleasure now. You were amazed how he could always make you feel like you were on top of the world; it was a feeling you never expected to go away.

"You're perfect, baby. You make me feel complete," he told you before his lips connected with yours, possessive but so tender—it made your heart swell ten sizes.

"I hope you stay forever," you said through clenched teeth as you found your high, Aaron's lips pressing kisses along your neck and jaw as he fucked you through your orgasm. You could tell by the way his pace had quickened slightly that he was close, seconds away from his own release. You held his face in your hands, making sure he was looking right at you.

"Fill me up, Aaron, please," you begged, and Aaron came with a shudder as soon as the words left your mouth. Your sensual words were music to his ears, and he hoped the more time you spent being intimate together, the more open you'd be. You were still getting the hang of things now, trying to figure out what you liked, what felt good. Aaron was glad that it was him to be able to help you through it all.

The sun crept over the horizon just as he slid out of you and got you cleaned up. For a moment he just stood and watched until you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, kissing the middle of his back.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" You said, admiring the colors of the morning sky, something you usually missed because you were asleep.

"It is. I'm glad I got to see it with you," he turned to kiss you, letting you wrap up in the covers before he came to join you. He knew he'd be exhausted later, that the two of you would have a hard time sleeping now that the sun was out, but he didn't regret a minute of it, not when you were by his side for it.

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demetris-cocksleeve · 1 year

Text

(A/n: I saw this one rp asmr audio on yt and thought it would be cute to put my own spin on it with Ojiro; Full credit to Navillus ASMR on YouTube!!)

(A/n: This is probably the sweetest thing I've ever written😢)

@makethiscanon

Summary- First kiss with Mashirao

Word Count: 2,779

Warnings: First Kisses, Self-Doubt, Comfort, Mention of 'Where the Red Fern Grows' (yes that movie needs a warning iykyk)

Age Rating: None

Ojiro Mashirao x Fem! Reader: "May I?"

------------------

You hear a sniffle from your left.

"Are you crying, Mashi?" There's a nonstop river of tears streaming down your face accompanied by a watery nose, so it's not like you have any room to talk.

"I- No! I am not crying; I don't know what you're talking about..."

Mashirao glances at you only to see the lifted brow and the failed attempt at suppressing the smirk you're giving him. The movie's credits are rolling as if it didn't just drop the saddest scenes in history in the past few minutes.

"I'm totally fine," he chuckles with another sniffle.

Doing your best to lift your eyebrow impossibly higher, you hit him with an "Mhm..."

"Stop looking at me like that." He teasingly pushes at your legs that are spread across the couch to stretch over his lap. "I'm fine with sad people stuff in movies, but as soon as an animal is involved-"

He dramatically cuts himself off with a hand to his chest as he plays dead. Your eyes don't leave him as you reach for the popcorn bowl on the table. Still dead. Popping some pieces into your mouth, you decide to chuck one at him.

The kernel bounces off his chest without so much as a twitch from your boyfriend. So, naturally, you throw another. And another. And-

"Throw another one and see what happens." He finally opens an eye level you with a glance. Your hand is still poised and ready to launch the popcorn. If he wants to dare you, you'll be more than happy to fulfill his request.

So, you let it fly.

The popped corn hits him in the cheek and immediately the air is knocked from your lungs.

"Hey! Uf-" He plops his massive tail right on your stomach.

"Not fair!" You try to push it off you to no avail. You can't really be surprised. It's basically pure muscle; it's not moving until he says so.

Unfazed, Mashirao merely tosses the popcorn back at you, smacking you between the eyes with unfair accuracy. "Why did you invite me over? Just to scar me with sad puppies and to assault me with salty snacks?"

"Pretty much, yeah," you've accepted your now trapped fate, resigning yourself to play with his tail's fluff.

You had invited him to your house for a movie night, knowing damn well what you were doing when you queued up 'Where the Red Fern Grows'. Sure, you're crying too, but a win is a win.

"That's cruel even for you, Y/n- Invite me over just to watch me cry." He pinches your calf before continuing, "Just wanted to see your boyfriend weep?"

"It's not my fault you're such an easy target," You laugh, trying to yank your legs to safety.

"I'm sad now..." He lets out a fake cry, "No! Doggy~"

"Oh no! Not the puppies!" You throw your head back as you let out your own fake cry, the previous tears on your face helping to sell your act.

"Woah- Hold up! Look at you~ You're a mess," he's fully cackling now, "compared to me! I just teared up a bit- you were full sobbing!"

Not expecting to tables to get turned you attempt to sit up. Luckily, Mashirao gives you mercy and shifts his tail to rest in your lap instead.

"I was not!"

"Were too~ You're not even trying to hide it!"

Sticking your tongue out like a child is the only acceptable response, so that's what you do.

"Aw~ Would a hug make it better?~"

"WOulD A hUg MaKE iT BEtTeR?" At this point your arms are crossed, fully slipping into the role of a petulant child. Are you still sad over the movie? Yes. But are you still going to be petty? Yep.

He only laughs again. "Do you want a hug?~"

One last eyebrow raise and thousand-yard stare aimed at your partner has you conceding. "Kinda..."

Ever infuriating, Mashirao asks: "What was that baby?"

You purse your lips with an unheated glare before responding.

"Yeah."

"C'mere," he lifts his tail, opening his arms for you to climb into.

You bury your face into his chest, the soft fabric of his hoodie mixes with his warm, coffee and vanilla scent to wrap around you in the most comforting blanket you can imagine.

"It's okay- The doggos were acting, They're okay," Mashirao gently rocks the both of you until you drop a bombshell on him.

"This was made in the 70s, they're dead..."

"I-"

Taking his stunned silence as an opportunity, you wipe your drying tears on his hoodie.

"Wha- Hey! Are you wiping your snot on my hoodie!?" He tries to pull away, but your arms only tighten their hold.

"No, I'm not!" Your voice is muffled but you don't want to move.

"Get your face out of my hoodie, you heathen!" Luckily, your positions are keeping him from prying your head away.

"I'm not wiping anything on you, you bitch!" You laugh, definitely wiping a bit of snot on him.

The sudden name-calling makes him throw his head back as he tries to hold back a laugh. "Get. Out. Of. There!"

You pop up to stare him down again only to be closer than anticipated to his face. Your own laughter dies in your throat as you let out a small, "oh."

Mashirao's eyes go wide, and a blush crawls up his cheeks at the proximity. You know you're no better; you can feel the heat emitting from your own flushed face.

His eyes flicker down to your lips, staring for a second before he meets your gaze again.

"Hi..."

This is bad. Very bad.

No. Not bad.

But scary. Very, very scary.

Are you ready for this? On the one hand, you do want to kiss him. Words can't express how much you do. On the other hand, you've never kissed anyone before. You don't know what you're doing.

'Are you ready?' Are you crazy? No, you're not ready!'

With speed that could rival Iida, you're back on your side of the couch. You bring your knees up to your chest, deciding that the separation between the couch cushions is the most interesting thing you've seen all night.

"Hey- Are you okay? What's wrong?" Mashirao reaches out to you but pulls back when you instinctively flinch. "Baby?"

"I'm sorry..."

"What happened?"

You glance at him only to return your gaze to the cushions. The genuine concern in his eyes makes you feel even worse about how you reacted.

"I got scared..."

You see him shift in the corner of your eye. "You got scared? What of?"

"Being so close... It felt like we were going to kiss and I freaked out." There's no use lying, it would only cause more harm than good.

The room falls quiet for a second. God, you've ruined everything, haven't you? Who freaks out like that over a kiss?

"Did..." Mashirao finally speaks, "Did you not want to kiss me?"

The slight hurt in his voice kills you. You managed to bag the sweetest, perfect guy, and you've made him think he's unkissable. Great job, as always, Y/n.

"I did, that's what scared me." You rest your cheek on your knees, finally facing him again. "I've never... I've never kissed anyone..."

"Never?"

"Never," you shake your head. "Isn't that embarrassing? I'm a grown-ass woman who hasn't had my first kiss."

The laugh you let out is nothing short of self-deprecating.

"Why would that be embarrassing?" Why does he have to be so sweet all the time? Him asking you with such genuine curiosity is making you realize how silly this all is.

"I don't know; everybody else had theirs back in middle or high school and I'm sitting here like the world's biggest prude."

"No, you're not." There's a serious note to his voice that wasn't there a second ago.

"While it's not the biggest deal in the world, it's still a big step in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with not doing it yet, whether it's because you haven't been with anyone you deemed worthy or because you were focusing on other things in your life. You're supposed to take things like this at your own pace."

You try to find the words to respond but the only thing that manages to squeeze out is his name. "Mashirao..."

All of a sudden his eyes light up.

"I have an idea!" He twists in his seat to fully face you, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged with his tail hooking over his shoulder. "If you're comfortable doing it, of course."

"And what's that?"

"We could play the "May I" game; it's kinda like firetruck or red light," You cringe a bit at that. Memories of "Firetrucks don't stop at red lights" fill your head.

Seeing your reaction, Mashirao seems to realize what was wrong with that analogy, "Without the ignoring of consent, that is!

"You ask the other person "May I ___" and, if they say yes, do that thing. It's to help with exploring boundaries and getting comfortable being closer." Despite the rocky start of the explanation, you've got to admit, it's kind of piquing your curiosity.

You shift to sit crisscross as well. "Okay, let's do it. How do we start?"

A comforting smile breaks across his face. "Is it okay if I go first?"

You know he won't jump straight into anything extreme so you nod.

"Okay. May I hold your hand?"

You let out a puff of air you didn't know you were holding. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

He reaches across the space to grab your hand. His thumb rubs calming circles on the back of your hand. "It's your turn."

"Um..." Not sure what to ask, you go with the first thing to come to mind, "May I put my hand on your cheek?"

Your face feels so hot you could fry an egg on it. The eye smile he gives you doesn't help.

"You may."

Your hand is shaking a bit as you reach out. You watch as Mashirao's eyes shut when you make contact; he leans into your touch, letting out a sigh when you slide it down to his jaw.

"May I kiss your hand?"

You nod, then, realizing his eyes are still closed, you say, "Yes."

And so, he does. His lips are soft against your palm when he turns his head. It leaves you wondering how they'll feel against your own.

"My turn?" You ask.

He hums in approval.

Curious to see if he's as nervous as you, you ask, "May I move my hand to your chest?"

His eyes fly back open to stare at you. "I-"

Did you move too fast? Was that a weird ask?

Overrun by your thoughts, all you can do is apologize.

"No, yes! I mean-" He takes a breath to collect himself. "No, don't apologize and yes, you can; I was just surprised..." He scratches the back of his neck as he looks to the side.

He looks back at you once he finishes gathering himself.

You slide your hand down to his chest, stopping at his heart. Sure enough, it seems to be going just as fast as your own. "Your turn."

Clearing his throat, Mashirao asks, "May I hug you?"

"You may." You smile; this isn't bad. It's more intimate than you thought it would be, but you like it.

You shuffle over to him, sliding back into his arms like you never left. You hook your chin on his shoulder, content to breathe him in for a second. For a while, neither of you moves, happy to just bask in each other's presence. You're glad for the break, needing to steel yourself for your next question.

You take a final drag of his cologne and speak.

"May I sit in your lap?

"You wanna sit in my lap?" When you nod, he answers.

"Yeah, that's okay." You can feel his heart hammering against yours.

"Here," he pulls away a bit to help you shift into his lap. "Yeah, there; Just- Put your knees on either side of me."

Once situated, his arms wrap back around your waist and you lay your head back on his shoulder. His tail wraps around you to add extra support to your hips.

"May I kiss your cheek?" His voice rumbles your chest.

Drawing in a shaky breath, you nod. "Yeah."

Turning his head, Mashirao gently tucks a finger under your chin to tilt your cheek towards him. The kiss is brief, lasting only as long as he dared to let it. Your eyes sting a bit from how tender he's being.

Before he's fully pulled back, you ask, "May I kiss your cheek?"

"You may," he breathes.

"Close your eyes..." You're not sure you can settle your nerves enough to do this if he's looking at you that softly.

He lets out a small chuckle but complies, nonetheless.

You start to lean forward but stop to place your hand over his eyes. Just to be sure. When you finally make contact, you feel more than hear his sharp intake of breath. You only hold the kiss for a couple of seconds but it feels much longer.

"Was that alright?" You pull your hand away as he opens his eyes.

"'Was that alright?' It was more than alright. The girl I love just kissed me..."

You both freeze as you register what he just said. "You love me?"

"I'm sorry- I- I didn't mean to say that... You're already on edge and now I'm dropping the L word... God, I'm so stupid!"

"It's okay, 'Rao... I," you hesitate to finish your thought. 'He's been doing nothing but comforting you. It doesn't matter if you're embarrassed, just say it!' "I liked that you said it..."

And your face is back in his hoodie. Unfortunately for you, that means you're not seeing the breathtaking smile that he gives you.

"May I kiss you?" His voice is hushed, like what he's saying is only meant for your ears.

Here it is... The question you've both been building up to.

"You can." You don't make a move though, too nervous to think properly.

What if you're bad at kissing? Or you have bad breath?

"You're gonna have to let me see that pretty face, then," Mashirao's gentle teasing stops you from spiraling too far into your Olympic-sized swimming pool of self-doubt.

Tentatively, you raise your head from his chest, trying to prepare yourself for what's about to happen. Your hands are gripping the back of his hoodie like a lifeline.

Mashirao's hand comes up to cup your cheek, a comforting smile on his face as he gives you a second to ready yourself.

"Are you ready?" His breath fans across your face. The hand still on your back soothes over your nerves with each brush to your spine. You loosen your hold, bringing a hand up to the one on your cheek so you can lightly clutch his wrist.

"As I'll ever be," You return his consoling smile with a nervous one.

Slowly, to give you time to pull away should you change your mind, Mashirao leans in. He pauses a hair's breadth away. When you don't draw back, he closes the gap.

Your lips brush together with the intensity of a flicker of a butterfly's wing. Your eyes flutter shut and your hand tightens around his wrist. You're sure you could pass a polygraph test with how certain you are that your heart skipped a beat. You can't help the stuttered gasp that leaves you as he pulls away.

You swallow. That really just happened...

Without opening your eyes, you ask: "May I kiss you?"

You can feel his arm tighten around you. "Yes."

This time, when your lips collide, there's more desperation. The sliding of your lips together sends waves of euphoria and love crashing over you. You can't believe you've been missing out on this feeling; though, something tells you that it's only because it's Mashirao that you're feeling this way.

Your hands move to his hair, clutching at the soft strands with a fervor you didn't know you had. A noise akin to a whimper bubbles up your throat as you lift yourself to try and get closer.

All too soon, you have to break away to catch your breath. Neither of you moves as your foreheads rest together, content to breath each other in.

"Wow..." It's Mashirao who breaks the silence.

"Wow," you echo, licking your lips. God... You can still taste him on your lips.

"Hey, Mashi?" He hums in answer.

"I love you too."

-end

#ojiro mashirao x reader #mashirao ojiro x reader #ojiro x reader #ojiro mashirao fluff #my hero academia x reader #mha x you

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gomzdrawfr · 30 days

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Gomz rambles about something again so feel free to scroll pass :]

Recently had a video recommended to me on youtube and gave it a watch: how you play games is how you do everything so I wanted to give some thoughts after watching it

for starters, the video was pretty simple and straightforward and easy to watch, it got me thinking how true that statement is and I started reflecting a bit.

I rarely play games any more, simply because sometimes I couldn't bring in the time and commitment to games like I used to be, or that it feels like I'm completing tasks instead of enjoying the game (kind of what the original author felt)

That applies to some games I've played in the past, Minecraft, Valorant, Dont starve - when I play a game, I clock tf in LMAO I just tend to focus so much on it that everything else didn't matter. I guess irl this applies to me too, whenever I want to do something I make sure to put in 110% into it, very meticulous with completion and deadlines and ensuring the work I do are good quality, I spend time on researching every single questions or queries I have and yeah just, being into something. Though lately, I've dialled down a bit and take it easy (bcuz stress isn't fun)

Honestly, in another aspect, say Minecraft again, I used to be very active in a community, being the lead builder and just pumping out ideas and making builds after builds while still having fun, I loved brainstorming idea and vomit it out in blocks, being able to use part of my interest that are less relevant in my studies to something else, you know? but ever since the said community grew larger, I got overwhelmed and stepped away from the people. They're great friends, really, but sometimes it's a lot when a friend circle grows.

Reflecting this to irl, I tend to work in smaller groups and have a close-knit of friends instead of many friends. Better yet, working alone or just with another one person. It's easier to focus and manage things. Another takeaway would be, I guess, is the way I tend to walk away when things gets more than what I like, or can handle.

I used to be part of a group of friends online too, I liked what we had going, we were silly we were honi (lol) and things were more light-hearted. But as more and more people join, I started feeling overwhelm or a sense of disconnect. There's a lot going on, like a bouncing ball started yeeting against each surfaces at lighting speed and I can barely catch the ball kind of feeling.

I wouldn't say it's entirely their fault, it's mostly myself, which is more comfortable in controlled or slower pace(despite being hyper as well- brainrot goes brrrr). I guess what sucks the most is also watching a friend who liked hanging with another person that you don't really vibe with can be uh something(idk what or how to describe it, it's not jealousy either). The main issue is always around the aspect that I like person A, B, C and F, but not the rest of the bunch. Yes, I could bring it up, talk to them about it, and then highly possibly creating drama and beef with that process (relationships are so fragile). Knowing the people I was dealing with, I decided to just leave quietly (which, to no one's surprised, caused drama itself too - sigh)

I do miss them sometimes, the people I like talking to and be friends with, some of us kept the connection, some burn the bridge for good, some remains a mystery.

That brings me to another aspect in decision-making games, where I tend to walk the passive, most diplomatic route ever to finish the game. Well because irl I hate dealing with conflicts XD I also lean towards neutrality most of the time, unless it's something important then only I pick a side strongly. Using persuasion, communications and understanding, compromising and delegation to let a project or anything really(like relationship) run smoothly. Some of this cost my sanity, patiences and often, gaining less from the agreement lol

I stopped caring more than I do, I stopped trying to please everyone in the room after going through some stuff, and I learn to let go a lot of things because of those experiences, which for now feels like a good experience for me (Literally my page motto is my life motto, it is what it is)

This also made me think, that I am a person who likes to stay the same, more often than I'd like to admit. I mean this by saying like for example, no matter how many times I play Stardew Valley, I will follow a similar route. If irl, the mix rice shop I visit for almost 4 years now? I'll pick the same veggie and meat choices everytime I go there. I find comfort in repetition, I like following the same pattern, I enjoy being safe in a known routine.

If i want to ramble about this, I do like to change sometimes, explore different options, pick a different route etc. But, only if I finished the "foundation" first(both in game and irl)

So for example, stardew valley right? I tend to go min max route, getting my greenhouse and my plants, relationship, all those jazz to maximum first before I actually try something else. What's funny is the something else can be as small as picking a different spot to fish, wearing a different hat, try defeating the dungeon without espresso(that was awful) or romance other people(I still love Harvey more than anyone, sorry Sebastian, I do love the frog though)

Same with Minecraft, Im a builder yes, but I also grind a hell lot in the game, building industrial district and shit ton of farms to get whatever I need.

I think this is kinda reflected irl, where I like to have a strong stability of foundation before I try something different, something that is not part of the route Im used for. It's like once I am sure that our project presentation has the right amount of slides, informations and delivery, then only I try and test out animations, maybe some infographics and whatnot. Same with patient counselling, I usually follow a flow strictly in patient information gathering because that is what we were taught in University (name, age, height, weight, etc), but one time I decided to switch it up a bit to and try to make small talk in between info gathering (like when a patient tells me they're married, instead of moving on I congrats on their marriage instead) and has found it a nice experience and change of pace. You may find this a silly or heck, an obvious thing that I should've tried, but you need to understand every video, notes and lectures always follow a systematic manner with stuff like this. I've only started incorporating this style after being in the med course for like, 2 years, so when I transitioned to Pharmacy, it came naturally to me when it comes to building rapport with patients. The patients and lecturers love it, because the process can feel more like a conversation rather than an interrogation you know, it feels more lively, more empathy and whatnot. I hope to continue to improve on this actually, Im really happy that one of the change I made on an impulse stick through and benefitted my career.

Id say one bad thing with this habit (with how I approach change) is sometimes I miss out opportunities and again, missing out the fun. Heck, sometimes the process to finish the "foundation" itself feels like a chore that sucks out the fun from games. Like rn with tears of the kingdom(totk), I like collecting Light of Blessing to get more hearts and stamina, but god- totk is so much bigger now compared to the first one, and I got overwhelmed and stressful to play the game. So I dropped it on my previous semester break. (I wanna go back to it one day, hopefully)

This kind of also tie into something Im aware of, is that I get weary and overthink in the face of uncertainty. Like there are a lot of places in totk that I have yet to explore, because I have thoughts like

oh shit does this have important story plot? wait what if im suppose to go place A before going place B first? will it mess up the timeline? oh no that place is new what the heck let's just put a marker first-

you get the gist, same applies irl too. An invitation to quizzes, participating talk shows or experiments, most of which I usually don't attend in fear of my lack of skills or just, nervousness in new environment. There's always a lingering thought that I am not good enough to go to events that clearly, required skills and competence beyond what I have. Im no 4 flat student, hell my cgpa is shit lmfao, the only thing Im good at are soft skills and maybe level 1-2 clinical judgments. I still regret that one time I didn't join a community event where they've explored and talked about stem cells intervention, they had a whole freaking lab!! of cells!! like in the movies!!!!!!!!! ok anyways

Idk what im tryna say with this ramble, I just wanted to share and relate my experience to the video, maybe this is like a self reflection. I've been trying to be better at managing some of the issues I talked about, building confidence or maybe facing confrontations instead of dipping entirely.

If you read till here, thanks I guess! maybe you can relate to me or maybe you just wanna read my yaps, either way I appreciate it :D if you want to share your thoughts or experiences as well go ahead!

#procrastinating on my actual school work to ramble about stuff hA #scream to the void to feel better #gummyspeaks #rambles

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aerodaltonimperial · 11 months

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bestie prompt: One bestie plays matchmaker for the other bestie, gritting their teeth the entire time. (I'd love to see this from either perspective, but go with whatever clicks for you first!)

((((and I am so sorry for all the feelings today i didn't mean to break us pls forgive me ))))

(SO FIRST OF ALL she did mean to break us SECOND OF ALL I was trying to find the family feud episode on youtube and youtube instead asked me if I wanted to watch Hook first saving Jack in December and SO I WATCHED IT and then I was crying like what the fuck I miss them so much ESSENTIALLY I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED TONIGHT so here is some bestie fic because i am too emotionally attached at this point to be pried loose)

Jack doesn't really get it at first. One minute, he was getting his ass kicked by Moriarty and Big Bill, and the next, Hook has shoved his hand out in front of Jack's face for a handshake. Jack doesn't know what it means. Jack doesn't know why Hook is here, when Hook is...never anywhere, really. But he takes Hook's hand, because that's just what you do when someone saves you from broken bones and severe internal bruising.

He doesn't get it when Hook shows up at his hotel room door a few hours later, either; he's holding a bucket of ice in one hand, still got that perpetual scowl on his face. Jack's already been checked by medical, already iced the worst of things. But this is the second gesture Hook has made in less than 24 hours, and Jack was raised to be polite.

"Do you want to come in and watch a movie?" he asks, and honestly, he doesn't know if it's an offer that won't be immediately laughed down the hallway.

Hook's expression goes softer. One corner of his mouth quirks up. He nods, and Jack lets him in.

Hook doesn't even end up using the ice. They let it melt until the wooden desk it's sitting on is wet with all the condensation while they sit up against the headboard and watch the second Die Hard.

Towards the end, Hook pulls his phone out, opens up his contact list, and creates a new one. It's labeled simply Jack. Then he holds the phone out sideways, waiting.

Jack takes it and types his number in. Finally, he gets it. Hook is absolutely, painfully, desperately in need of a friend.

And you know what? Jack feels the same god damn way.

He hands the phone back. Smiles. "See you next week?"

Hook smiles back.

The Firm targets them together now. They throw Jack in a dumpster just to piss Hook off. Hook digs Jack out with his face wrinkled in disgust, and Jack wants to punch Stokely right in his fat mouth. But Hook came after him. That's more than Jack would have believed two weeks ago.

Jack peels something sticky and nauseating off his arm, and shakes his head. "How do you feel about the old, original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies?"

Hook looks confused, but he answers, "Favorably."

"Alright." Jack nods. "They're On Demand in the hotel streaming system. I'm gonna go back and take a really hot shower, and then what do you think about marathoning them with pizza?"

Hook smiles. "Cool."

They actually don't make it through them all—they actually both fall asleep halfway through Secret of the Ooze, heads tilted back at uncomfortable angles against the pillows. Jack wakes up when the credits start to roll unsure of what year he's in. When he looks over at Hook, the man is...vulnerable. Curled back against the headboard with his mouth slightly open.

Jack turns the TV off, and then the lights. He shifts his pillow down into a normal position and waits. It takes about ten minutes for Hook to do the same, but he doesn't leave. They sleep like the dead until Jack's phone alarm blares bright and early the next morning.

Turns out, they're a really good tag team. It's easy to fight with Hook, probably just because Jack feels so comfortable around him. Hook has slipped into his life with a strange familiarity that should be weird and somehow isn't, like Jack has known him forever, the sort of old friend that's always got his back.

They make their way through whatever the hotels have available on the Smart TVs in their rooms, and night by night, movie by movie, Hook opens up. Starts talking more. Instead of single syllables, Jack gets sentences of things he notices in the filming. How the angles were shot. The bits that they get wrong about various things: athletic training, New York City, photography.

When they aren't in the same place, they text. And most nights they are, they end up sleeping in the same bed, just because it's easier than returning back. Jack takes to packing an extra toothbrush every time, for Hook to use. It's not romantic, this thing between them; he thinks it probably could be, if they were in different places, different head spaces, but it doesn't really matter. Jack's not lonely anymore.

It's been quite a while since he could say that.

He starts figuring out Hook's little tells, all the signs that he's had a rough day. Jack's good enough at it to be able to always have the right sort of movie queued up. Hook is mercurial like that: he bottles everything up, and Jack thinks what he ends up seeing is all the implosions when it fails to be enough, the tendrils of emotional turmoil Hook tries so hard to swallow down. On the hard days, Hook will end up curled up against Jack's side as they sit on the bed, and Jack will loop his arm around Hook's shoulders. They don't talk about it, but Hook will smash his face into Jack's collarbone and exhale so deep his whole body shudders with the force.

They don't talk about it, until one day, abruptly, they do.

"I really miss him," Hook whispers, as the clock ticks over to 2 AM and they're laying side by side in the too-starched sheets of the king sized bed.

Jack freezes for a second, only because he's afraid he'll say the wrong thing and scare Hook into clamming up all over again. "Miss who?"

"Danhausen."

"Oh," Jack says, tone light: still a whisper. It feels safer. "Have you said that to him?"

"He doesn't talk to me anymore," Hook replies.

"Maybe he's just waiting for you to reach out first."

"Or," Hook mumbles, bitter and thin, "he's happier without me. With them. And he doesn't care anymore."

Jack winces in the darkness of the room. "I don't think that's true. You guys were...really close."

There's a long stretch of nothing, but Jack knows Hook hasn't fallen asleep. Finally, Hook sucks in a ragged-sounding breath. "Jack."

"Yeah?"

"I think I was in love with him."

"Yeah," Jack agrees, because that's probably correct. They lay in quiet for a very long time, though Hook's breathing never evens out, so Jack knows he isn't asleep. Eventually, Jack rolls over. Presses his hands against Hook's shoulder—light enough to be a suggestion he can ignore if he wants.

Hook, it seems, doesn't want to. He rolls to the same side and lets Jack curve behind him. Jack loops his arm over Hook's waist. And then he settles in, his cheek against Hook's shoulder blade, and waits while Hook shakes, shakes, shakes against the mattress.

A week later, he's on a website full of black and red. Bright colors, weird graphics. He clicks around, trying to figure out what would work. His phone dings with a text from Hook. It's completely unrelated, superbly casual; a reply to Jack's earlier message complaining about gas prices in California.

Jack stares at it, and thinks You're my best friend. I'm going to fix this for you.

It takes another few weeks for the dates to line up, but Jack finds himself in Wisconsin at a convention. He's got his hair thrown back under a cap so he won't be recognized, but ends up taking it off at the back door so the volunteer will let him in. She even gives him one of those staff lanyards.

It doesn't take him long to find the person he's looking for. Danhausen appears very surprised when Jack grabs his elbow and hauls him over to the wall. "What are—"

"I need to talk to you," Jack says. "What did he do?"

Danhausen blinks. "What?"

"What did he do that was so bad? What was it?"

"You...you're talking about Hook," Danhausen says, slowly. He's got the face paint on, so his tongue looks very pink when it darts out to wet his lip.

"Of course I'm talking about Hook. Why are you still mad at him?"

Danhausen frowns. "Danhausen doesn't know what you're talking about. Hook is the one who is mad at Danhausen."

"What..." Jack stares at him, boggled. "He's miserable. What are you talking about? He thinks you hate him."

"Hook told Danhausen that he didn't need him."

That one takes awhile for Jack to place. He searches back in his memories; that was a weird time. He wasn't in the best place, mentally. But he's pretty sure he remembers that interview. "He...no. He was only talking about that match."

"He..." Danhausen's expression has twisted. His eyes dart to the side. "But Danhausen thought Hook was pushing him away."

"Dude," Jack says. "He wasn't. It was just about that one thing. And you just disappeared afterwards."

From Danhausen's expression, Jack has just handed him very new information. And then Jack laughs, because he can't help it; it sucks, of course it sucks, and Hook's been in this twisted agony circle for months, but of all things? This?

"Are you telling me," he starts, "that this entire thing was a misunderstanding?" He waits, watching; Danhausen looks upset. "Do you miss him, too?"

When Danhausen nods, Jack gives him an awkward pat on the shoulder. "Right, so. I'm being very serious right now. You need to call him. Like, immediately. Because he really, really misses you."

"And Hook is not angry at Danhausen? He might be, when Danhausen calls. It's been a very long time, and...well."

"I can confidently tell you that he will not be mad at you," Jack tells him. "Call him. Please."

He turns to leave, but Danhausen's voice stops him. "Danhausen misjudged Ju—Jack."

Jack stops, swivels back. Danhausen's hands are clasped in front of him, fingers tangled. He's managing a lopsided black smile. "Sorry for that. But Danhausen will find a way to thank you."

"Just call him," Jack says. "That's all I need."

Danhausen has his phone out, tapping something, when Jack glances back near the exit. It looks more like a chat thread than a phone call, but he's pretty sure he won't have to wait long.

He's right: Hook texts him that night.

You went to find him? In Wisconsin? You flew to Wisconsin?

Jack grimaces, replies: Don't be mad. I'm sorry I did it behind your back. Did he call?

Yeah, comes the reply. And then, You know I'm gonna fucking love you forever for this, right?

Jack smiles at his phone. Sap.

Seriously, though, Hook's message says. Thank you.

I'm glad I could help.

#tag so you don't lose this shit #IT'S MISSING MY BESTIES HOUR UP IN THIS HOOOOUUUUSSSEEEEEE #i will never let go of them #when i die put them on my tombstone

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cherokeegal1975 · 3 months

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BB and Sam. This digital fan art is for sale on Redbubble. I recommend their art prints since I bought another cat portrait as an experiment. My only regret is that I didn't buy a framed print. Other than that, the print quality is excellent and was worth every penny.

In fact I have quite a few selections of art and photos available for sale in my Redbubble shop. I'm CherokeeGal1975 there and I always use my user name as a search term to make me easy to find.

This drawing took me a long time to do because I didn't have a decent reference for Big Boss until I found one that was passible on Tumblr. It then took me about a week, in two to three hour sessions, to complete the drawing. I even did the abstract pattern in the backdrop myself. I put in Sam to help identify this lovely kitty. His people are Jacksetpiceye and Gab Smolders who are both Youtube gamers that I follow. Since I can't afford to play games, I learn about them on YouTube instead by watching playthroughs. I like the ones that have excellent graphics and have a story to them, kind of like a choose your own adventure book.

Anyway, I really could use your support. So check out my shop:

CherokeeGal1975 Shop | Redbubble

There's lots to choose from.

#cherokeegal1975 #digital art #fantasy #jacksepticeye's cat bb #jacksepticeye

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duhragonball · 3 months

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Yeah, Evangelion isn't really a show about the action. I'd say an accurate summary of it is "what if you had to pilot robots against monsters, but all the characters have mental illness?" It's got some neat action for sure, but that's not the focus of the narrative at all, really.

And that's fine. I didn't go into this expecting a lot of action! If this show is Shinji getting therapy then bring it on, but that's not what's happening. He's just laying there like a pile of mashed potatoes, and everyone remarks on how mashed-potato-like he is! For three episodes!

The action scenes are basically all I've got for amusement, but they aren't enough to carry the show because they were never meant to. But what is carrying the show? You can't just write "He's mentally ill" on a 3-by-5 card and put it on the screen for fifteen minutes and call it a story.

Let me use an example of what I'm talking about. There's an episode of M*A*S*H called "Hawk's Nightmares", where Hawkeye starts sleepwalking through the camp, and when other characters find him he acts like a kid, playing marbles and basketball and talking to them like his childhood friends. Then when he finally goes back to bed he wakes up screaming because he saw his childhood friends dying horribly.

About halfway into the episode Colonel Potter calls a psychologist, Sidney Freeman, to get to the bottom of this, and Hawkeye talks it out with him. Ultimately his nightmares are a symptom of the larger trauma of the Korean War, so there's no easy fix, but at least Hawkeye understands what's happening to him, which gives him some reassurance. Sidney tells him he's not losing his mind. "If you were crazy, you'd sleep like a baby."

This is a single half-hour episode of television. Is it a thorough examination of mental health problems? No, of course not. Sidney makes several more appearances on the show, often for Hawkeye specifically, which kind of makes you realize that maybe Hawk isn't the "sanest person [Sidney has] ever known". The psychological analysis may not have aged well, since it's a 50-year-old TV show about a 70-year-old war.

But it's effective as a story because it introduces a problem and immediately draws in the viewer. You can't not notice Hawkeye playing hopscotch in the middle of the night. It's impossible for the other characters to ignore him when he tries to place a phone call in the middle of the night to his childhood friends to make sure they didn't explode like they did in his dreams. And the other characters do something about it. When they can't help him on their own, they call in an expert. They have to. He's their friend, and they need him in the O.R. to save wounded soldiers.

I think Evangelion is following a similar arc, but-- good night!-- it sure isn't in much of a hurry. And if Shinji were shooting free-throws in his sleep, that would be at least kind of amusing to watch while we wait, but he's not. He's practically catatonic. If there was another character to focus on instead, that would be something, but all we have is Rei, who seems to be even worse off than he is.

What kills me is that they're going to get into this eventually. They have to. There's no other choice. So why don't we just do that instead of marking time? I'm an hour into this show, and I feel like I'm watching an unskippable ad for Kroger while I'm waiting for a YouTube video to start.

#2024ngeliveblog #sorry but i was so looking forward to this thing and it's letting me down #now i just want to watch that m*a*s*h episode again #ask duhragonball

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minimalist-language-learning · 2 months

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April roundup — Russian

Another month is over! Here are my Russian learning activities in April:

Anki

I kept reviewing the Russian starter deck and the Ru15K deck (see my previous posts for more details). But I also started my own sentence deck. I’m currently adding sentences mostly from Animal Crossing that contain only one unknown word. I decided to focus on Animal Crossing for a while until I can understand most dialogues more easily. (They are surprisingly difficult at my current level. XD)

Assimil

This month I did lesson 11 - 36. After reaching lesson 36, I started to review older lessons. At some point, I noticed that the lessons became more challenging so I think I should spend a bit more time reviewing new lessons before moving on. Reviewing old ones will also help.

(YouTube) Comprehensible Russian: Beginner 1

I kept watching videos from this playlist. I'm currently at video 31. I like it when there are several videos about a certain topic instead of a different topic in every video. This way, certain words are repeated more often and I can learn more about this topic. Some of them are really interesting.

(YouTube) In Russian From Afar - Beginner Videos A1

I only watched one video so far. He tells children stories and draws on a white board while speaking to make understanding easier (similar to Inna from Comprehensible Russian). Russian subtitles are available. I try to understand as much as I can without reading the subtitles in Russian but if in doubt I can check what he said. The first video I watched was very easy to understand, though.

(YouTube) Inhale Russian

Similar to the beginner videos from Comprehensible Russian, just a bit more "modern“ and efficient and Russian subtitles are available. Instead of drawing, he already prepared all pictures on his computer so that he only needs to point at them during his speech. I like Inna’s drawings from Comprehensible Russian, but the use of photos and graphics makes understanding the meaning easier and faster in my opinion.

However, he speaks veeery calm. Almost monotonous even. Maybe he speaks like this to make it easier for beginners? Personally, I don’t think it’s necessary to speak that calm. A little bit more emotions and personality would make the video more engaging. If someone talks too monotonous, I tend to zone out (my mind starts to wander). This makes it more difficult to stay focused which is not helpful if you want to learn something.

Short Stories in Russian for intermediate (by Olly Richards)

I finished this graded reader! I read the e-book version. This book is aimed at intermediate learners so it’s noticeably more difficult than the beginner book. But it’s still easier than the novel I started (which is aimed at native speakers). By looking up every word I noticed a few small errors in the text (like a wrong letter or an additional letter for example). It’s not a big deal but learners should keep that in mind.

I don’t know if it’s because the level of difficulty was higher but somehow these stories gave me a weird feeling. They were not really my cup of tea. I liked the stories of the beginner book much more. Nevertheless, I learned a lot.

Две встречи в Париже

This book contains two stories. I already read chapter 1 of Медовый месяц в Париже so I continued with chapter 2.

Animal Crossing

I continued playing Animal Crossing. I’m using Google Translate to digitalize the text from the game, then I look up words and safe the text for later review. I'm currently using this material to create sentence cards (like I mentioned above).

Метро 2033

I couldn’t wait any longer. XD I started to read chapter 1. Tons of new words, but since I know the video game I’m not completely lost. I have at least a vague idea what awaits me. I’m very curious about the book!

Stranger Things

I watched the first episode of Stranger Things in Russian on Netflix. I turned off the Russian subtitles because most of the time they don't match with the audio. This is a downside because I can't easily check unknown words. So I'll regard it as pure listening practice. I only understand single words here and there, which is no surprise at my current level, but that’s okay.

Maybe it's a bit early but I prefer to mix easier content (aimed at language learners) and difficult content (aimed at native speakers) instead of listen to learner content only. More variety not only makes the learning process more fun and interesting but this will also help me to familiarize myself to native level content. It will take a lot of time time to get accustomed to content aimed at native speakers so I start early.

Plus, watching (or reading) difficult but interesting content is also a great motivation booster. Understanding interesting series and books is my main reason to learn the language. It's very hard right now, but as long as I keep going it will get easier over time.

#langblr #languagelearning #languageblr #self study #language learning #learning russian #russian language #russian langblr #russian novel #graded reader #graded reader russian

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toocooltonotobsessover · 2 months

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Ginny and Georgia: The Art of Subtle Storytelling

As with most everything, I got into Ginny & Georgia well after the train had not only passed but also dropped everyone off as well. I saw clips around all the time but convinced myself it was just a stupid show that didn't deserve the time. Then... I ran into Marcus' depression monologue on YouTube and that was the most relatable thing I'd heard from a TV show. So, I convinced myself to check out that episode (S2E8) to see what was going on with this stupid, cringy teen drama that somehow captured the experience of depression in less than two minutes. Needless to say, watching that episode piqued my interest in so many areas, I soon found myself watching the next episode, and when answers still weren't found, bouncing back to the start of the series. And now... here I am, three 6 days later (after admittedly finishing the series in only 3) still unable to stop thinking about the absolute gem that was Ginny & Georgia.

Obviously there will never be a piece of perfect media and there were certainly parts of the show that had me squeezing my eyes shut in second-hand embarrassment (*cough, cough* tap dancing *cough, cough*)... but there was also something so fundamentally powerful about it that had me continuously choosing "Next Episode" well past midnight. So, as I try to ride out my newfound obsession with this show I couldn't help finding myself wondering "What is it about Ginny & Georgia that is so addicting?" While I think many factors come in to play: the characters, the just wild enough to stretch our suspension of disbelief while also tame enough to be almost realistic plot, and the representation to name a few; but something that really caught my attention was the fact that the show-makers seem to have mastered the art of subtle storytelling.

Show, don't tell, I think is advice most people can attest to hearing at least a handful of times in their lives. It's a phrase so familiar it should be at the front of our minds whenever we set out to tell a story and while not always easy to write, how hard can it be when your form of media relies on visuals as with movies and TV shows? Apparently more of a challenge than you would expect, with many shows turning into bland info dumps rather than containing thoughtful expression of information. Oftentimes this is a cheap way of getting a point across but it creates very dry and unrealistic characters (because for the most part people do not talk by spitting a series of semi-connected essays at one another).

Anyway... I guess what I'm trying to get at is that the creators of Ginny & Georgia did not shy away from show over tell, in fact they thrived off of it. A storyline like Marcus' depression was not a sudden slap-in-the-face episode, explained off by a monologue backstory. Instead the seeds were planted earlier, way earlier, way back in season one when Ellen casually mentioned to Georgia that Marcus' had had a rough year... simple as that. And while we do find out that part of it is due to his friends death, there's still more to the story. Then when season two rolls around, subtle hints are sprinkled throughout the episodes prior to episode eight... Certain facial expressions (specifically noticeable in the Christmas episode), some tighter smiles than normal, some looks that are just a little off. And when the family returns from Vermont: casual conversation between Max and Ginny, picked up and dropped like regular conversation not over focusing on the fact that Marcus lied about how he spent his Christmas. But as an audience we start to pick up on these and when we reach episode eight it all makes sense.

Or another thing I love: Clint. The deaf representation again is thrown in, not as a big deal, just a fact of everyday life. You can believe the twins grew up with a deaf father with how casually they throw around sign language, even sometimes while among themselves. You can believe that Ellen has been married to Clint for a long time and been using sign language to communicate. But not only is the inclusion of sign super casual, something I also picked up on was the twins personalities. Sign language is not just about the hand signs, but full body expression: facial expressions, body language. Someone who has been signing all their life has that tendency towards physical expression, and if you watch any scene with Max it's clear the way she throws her whole body into talking. She has so much energy and her face is always super telling because she grew up with this being a large part of communication with her dad. On the flip side, Marcus is not quite as expressive, but he seems to have a sense for reading other people's body language, like he's used to living in a home where visual communication is more important than auditory communication.

This post focuses a lot on the Bakers because they 100% were my favorite family, but the same can be applied to many situations. Like how Abby's ED isn't super obvious, a few times she leaves for the bathroom and it's not made super obvious that she's leaving to vomit. We get to see glimpses of her struggles, but for the most part we're in the dark, just like most people in her life.

I don't know, maybe I'm just not exposed to the right shows a lot but this one really impressed me. It just felt super obvious how much time and work the cast and crew put into making the characters and storylines believable (well as believable as they can be in a TV show, lol)

So in conclusion... Ginny and Georgia season 3??? And what other gems of shows am I missing out on, lol

#ginny and georgia #ginny & georgia #storytelling #show don't tell #what do you think?#thoughts #this show has me obsessed #how soon is too soon to rewatch

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meowmeowuchiha · 4 months

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Ranting about the new Borderlands movie under the cut

Okay I'm just gonna say it

The Borderlands movie trailer? Doesn't look AS BAD as I thought it would, but still awful.

Most of the characters are extremely miscast

But honestly? I don't think Kevin Hart is that terrible of a miscast.

If it was Borderlands 2 and pre sequel Roland then yeah he'd be awful and I feel like that's what most people are thinking of.

But if you're going based off of first game Roland? He's not that bad. Just listen to the voice lines from Roland from the first game. Can find it on YouTube easy enough.

On to everyone else!!

Ariana Greenblatt as Tiny Tina: Honestly, I'm gonna just say that it's both miscast and miswritten, but I acknowledge that it's probably gonna be pretty damn hard to find someone who could pass as a younger teenager (since Tina in the 2nd game is 13) who could also feasibly act as Tina. She's a very very unique character and I feel like acting as her, even if she WAS written properly, would be incredibly difficult. Getting that combination of batshit insane, childish naivety, and actually knowing what she's doing would be TOUGH. Ariana Greenblatt, from what I've seen, does well enough as bratty snarky teens. Tina was written as that for some god forsaken reason.

JLC as Tannis (aside from the fact that JLC is a fucking zionist. I'm only critiquing casting based on how they are as actors, not whether or not they're decent people.) isn't...terrible? It's odd, and I can't give a definitive opinion on it because hardly anything is heard from her in the trailer.

Jack Black as Claptrap: Honestly, personality wise, not a bad fit for Claptrap. However, voice wise, absolutely a terrible fit. Claptrap's voice I'd supposed to be shrill, nasally, and just overall ear grating. That's part of his CHARM. The rest of the fault in how awful they did with Claptrap lies in the writing. I will admit, I'm not certain who I would've cast as Claptrap instead, but I at the very least would have tried to see if Jack Black could try and at least imitate Claptrap's voice??? Or just...like I said, found someone better.

Cate Blanchett as Lilith: Yeeeaaaah, very miscast. I'm not even all that upset by the age thing. That's like....a tiny tiny gripe that tbh I think people are focusing way too much on. When the real problem is the fact that Lilith was HORRIBLY written for the movie. Lilith, in the games, is this hotheaded, snarky, cocky woman. She's the woman who's told "hey, for strategy reasons, we need you to stay behind for this fight" and responds with "no I'm going >:(" and shows up anyways. She's the one who goes "I...liquefied a guy. It was AWESOME!! This eridium stuff is the TITS!!!". She is not the stone cold badass bitch that she seems to be in the movie. I will admit, I haven't seen anywhere NEAR Cate Blanchett's full filmography. I've only seen a tiny handful of movies. But from the ones I've seen, she doesn't tend to play characters like Lilith. Her characters tend to be more serious. Less snarky and sarcastic. She just....doesn't seem to fit in the Borderlands universe at all really to me??? She'd be miscast in pretty much any role. The only one I could MAYBE see her managing would be like....Athena. Again, not her fault, just...the vibes. Lilith was terribly written for the movie, and was also terribly miscast.

I can't really say anything regarding anyone else, as I didn't really see enough of them to form even the barest hint of an opinion. Either way, the movie is going to be awful, even if it might not be as terrible as I'd thought it would be before the trailer.

If you're gonna watch it, pirate it if you care about Palestine. The director and at least a couple of the actors (JLC, Edgar Ramirez) are zionists, and yet more of them (Jack Black, Gina Gershon) are of the mind that it's a two sided conflict and they want both sides to make peace and their hearts go out to both sides.

#Borderlands #Borderlands movie #Ranting #Lmao I highly doubt any of my followers will give a shit about this but I felt like saying it anyways #Also gonna say that if I'm being honest Borderlands was never meant to be made into a movie it just doesn't work #They should just stop making video game movies in general ngl

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fat-fem-and-asian · 11 months

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Sarah Snook Filmography Review w/ Links

I love the range in Snook's stuff. She's done horror, comedy, romcoms, historical documentaries, and she's amazing in all of them. She's done a LOT of short films - seen, alice, nightingale floor, the poet and the plant. I enjoyed Alice a lot, it's adapted from a song (??) And just 8 minutes of snook frolicking in the woods. For her bigger work - Most of them are fairly accessible so deep diving her filmography was fun and easy. Anything ommited is either 1) I couldn't find a way to easily watch it 2) her role is so small it's not worth mentioning. ♡ - my personal favorites

All Saints - Snook's first tv appearance! She plays a young woman with appendicitis. stock standard medical procedural guest spot and it's on hulu.

Sisters of War - A historical biographical drama! she plays Lorna White, an Aussie nurse who survived being a POW in WWII. It's a well made tv movie and Snook gets to really show some range. You can watch on a few different websites, but I used Tubi.

Packed to the Rafters - TW for planned sexual assault. She's got a two episode guest spot on this Aussie sitcom as a college student who becomes involved in a sexual assault case. The assault is nongraphic, but I can't say she's given enough of a plotline to make it worth it.

Spirited - An Aussie comedy drama of this lady and a bunch of dead ghosts in a hotel? Snook joined in the 2nd season as a minor supporting character and she's only got a few scenes, but if you want to see her in a funky schoolgirl fit, it's on amazon for free.

Not Suitable for Children ♡ - A cute and raunchy Aussie romcom. She plays Stevie, the girl best friend turned serious love interest. Snook is adorable and does a great job with a kind of underwritten role. viewer discretion for nudity and sex - free on youtube :)

These Final Hours - Apocalypse drama. She's only in one scene and plays a lady high off her ass who's searching for her kid. if you wanna see her shake and shout then go for it! also on youtube.

Predestination ♡ - TW for nonconsensual medical procedure. I highly recommend! It's a loopy time travel movie set in the 1960s. Kinda. Spoilers - Snook plays Jane and John, a trans man who has an gender reassignment surgery after giving birth. Snook absolutely blew me away in this, the way she plays John and his transition is just stunning. Is it good trans rep? Not really, but I'm not expecting it either from a 2014 sci fi flick. I watched on this website, please don't get a virus.

Jessabelle - Snook received her SAG card for this movie! She's got the lead role as Jessie, a woman who moves back in with her father in Louisiana after a car accident. Horror movie and I think intended to be a more thoughtful exploration of white violence, but it really comes off as offensive in its use of black spirituality, especially with a primarily white cast. Snook has some great scenes though and the location is gorgeous -- also she had a very funny interview where she thought she tanked the film by doing a North Carolina accent instead of Louisianian. Free on Tubi

Holding the Man - Very cute gay film about AIDS. She plays a best friend and is only in the first few scenes and the last few, if I remember right. No memory of how I watched it.

The Secret River ♡ - TW for graphic violence. Miniseries (only about 2 hours total) about Australian colonialism. It's well made and Snook is great as Sal, one of the colonizers who's moved to Australia from the UK with her family. She's got great chemistry with Oliver Jackson-Cohen and overall just a nice miniseries that's also free on iview :)

Steve Jobs - Snook's only in a handful of scenes and it's mainly her running around and talking into a headset! Good movie though! Also no memory of how I watched it

The Dressmaker - Weird Aussie film with Kate Winslet and gorgeous dresses. Snook has a supporting role as Gertrude, the ugly duckling of the town who gets a makeover into a swan :) She's a mean girlfail in this and I did seriously laugh at a scene where she just falls SO hard on her ass. There was brief weird orientalism in this, but otherwise a solid movie. On Amazon Prime.

Oddball - Aussie feelgood children's movie! She's a conservationist park ranger mom to a precocious little girl who just wants to save the penguins. It's a kids movie, so super simple, but Snook is solid and if I was an aussie kid I would have formed a deep deep crush on her. Free on Tubi! The Beautiful Lie - Okay. I'll be honest and say I skimmed this at 3am weeks ago, so I don't remember it well. It's a miniseries loosely adaptated from Anna Karenina and a pretty slow drama. Snook is Anna, a rich tennis player who struggles with infidelity - so like. Shiv 0.5. I wouldn't personally recommend it, but if you wanna see Snook in some cute silk shirts, go for it. Posted on Dailymotion.

Black Mirror - Snook has a minor role in the episode Men Against Fire. It's fine? I seriously don't know what to say -- she plays a squadron leader and dies halfway in. On Netflix. Discretion advised for violence!

The Glass Castle - Drama movie w/ Brie Larson! Snook plays the adult version of the oldest daughter of an abusive family. Honestly, she doesn't have much to do in it, but she does wear cute glasses and frankly looks gay. to me. On Netflix.

Winchester - Another horror, this time w/ Helen Mirren who REQUESTED! that Snook be in the film or she wouldn't do it. Icon! She's only in a handful of scenes and most of them are her running after her creepy little son, but I would personally watch it just for a green dress she wears. Other than that a fairly boring movie that's pretty to look at. Free on Tubi.

Brother's Nest - She's in the last five minutes as this poor lady who just wants to buy a horse. Could not tell you anything more because I skimmed it. Tubi link! Warning for graphic violence, but not in Snook's scene.

American Pickle - She's just in the first scene as Seth Rogen's wife! Would watch again to see her knaw into a picked herring <3 No memory of how I accessed it sadly

Pieces of a Woman - TW for graphic depiction of birth that ends in a stillborn. Snook has a supporting role as a lawyer who hooks up with Shia Lebouf. I don't know if I have much to say about this movie outside of it's really intense and jarring birth scene in the beginning. Snook is cute as always? On Netflix.

Koala Man - I refuse to watch this I'm sorry. Msg me if I should but I cannot do it w/ another adult animation in that art style.

Run Rabbit Run - TW for physical/mental child abuse. She's the lead in a psychological horror as a mother grieving the loss of her father. There's a creepy little kid, a creepy bunny, and some stunning shots of the Aussie outback. Is it a good horror film? Not really, it's repetitive and slow with little to no emotional stakes. Is Snook good in it? Yes. She swings wildly from emotion to emotion in this and truly sells that she is losing her mind. She's also got some sweet moments with her on-screen daughter. Honestly though, I just wished I was just watching Babadook instead. On Netflix :)

Succession ♡ - Pop over to my huge shiv roy tag to know my thoughts on that show. Maybe the best performance of the decade for one of the best characters on TV. On HBO lol

Beanie Bubble - Snook was great as Sheila, a mother of 2 kids and Zach Galifianakis' wife in weird drama comedy. Again, can't say she's given the best material to work with here, but Snook still manages to elevate her character as sweet, protective, and loving. Plus she gets to wear some really pretty dresses in this and also punch a man. The justice we deserve. On Apple Tv but sadly the website I watched it on is gone.

Woof that was long! Feel free to msg me if you watch any of these! I love snook talking and I hope this guide was helpful to you. I also really recommend @/bestofsnook on twitter, they've got some great guides :)

#sarah snook #my posts

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