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riki-dazed · 3 months

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You get into a bad argument with your boyfriend, Riki. The evening proceeds to end in a very unexpected way.

NSFW smut · block & don't read if you're uncomfortable · toxicity, cursing, pure angsty, smutty filth with a touch of softness at the end,, call it a heart-wrenching rollercoaster, if you will · wc �� 1774 · requested

"You always find something about me to complain about," You cried, throwing your hands in the air as you stormed about Riki's tension-filled room in frustration, looking for your belongings.

"You're being dramatic," He snapped back as his eyes watched you from the door way, his gaze piercing. "Just say you regret ever becoming my girlfriend,"

Something within you snapped after Riki got home in a bad mood and decided to take out his frustrations on you. You couldn't control your emotions, considering it wasn't the first time he had done that. The both of you have already had to deal with a couple of arguments in the short time since you started dating, which was leading you to believe that you just simply weren't compatible for him in that sense. If you were to be completely honest with yourself, you were worried since the very beginning of the relationship. You and Riki spent many years as very close friends, you loved him dearly. More than any other friend. The thought of a relationship ruining things between the two of you scared you to death, though, Riki reassured you everything would be okay.

Until it wasn't.

His facial expression changed as he noticed you starting to pile clothes into one of your bags, his heart began to sink. He wanted to stop you but he didn't know how to approach the situation, he had never seen you that angry and upset in all of the years he had known you. The longer he watched you irritably pack your belongings, the tighter the feeling within his chest grew. The realization was starting to eat at him. He knew he messed up again, big time.

He watched you silence as your tears didn't stop flowing.

"Good fucking job for ruining this, Riki, I told you countless times how worried I was for us at the start,"

"Can you just stop and fucking talk to me," His voice began to tremble, his hands found their way into his hair and tugged at the strands.

"What's there to talk about? I do regret becoming your girlfriend!"

Although Riki was an emotional person, he was never great at expressing those said emotions. You kept your eyes off him, though, knowing how he affects you when he's upset. You cared for him so deeply, you'd cross oceans if you had to in order to comfort your boy, and by the sound of his voice, you could just tell his nonchalant composure was nowhere to be found anymore.

His tall frame stopped you in your tracks, his hands found their way to your shoulders as he towered over you. For someone so big compared to your frame, his voice sounded small.

"You don't mean that,"

"Get off me," You almost yelled, your eyes stayed focused on the floor, not daring to look at his face. Your body twisted and turned as it tried to get out of his grasp.

After not being able to break out of his hold, your tear-filled eyes finally looked up at Riki's. His bottom lip was quivering, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill. You had never seen his face look like that. Before you could process anything, Riki pulled you into his chest. His arms clung around you tightly, he was so afraid to let you go. Your arms stayed swinging by your sides as you stood against his warm chest, letting out silent cries as your tears continued to pour. Your eyes screwed shut.

Riki couldn't hold his emotions back after scenes of a life without you in it flashed throughout his mind. That was the first time he allowed himself to be so incredibly vulnerable in front of anyone, ever. Even you.

"You don't mean that," Riki repeated, he was crying into the crook of your neck. The sounds of his sniffles only made your tears fall harder. You raised your arms slightly, grasping the sides of his shirt within your hands.

"Y/n," His voice broke the sorrowful, long silence. He lifted his head from where it was settled beside your neck, and wiped at your tears with his thumbs. "Let me show you how much you mean to me,"

Your eyes drifted from his gaze, unsure of how to reply to him, "Riki.."

"Please," He pleaded, attaching his quivering, pillowy lips to one of your tear-stained cheeks.

One thing lead to another, and before you knew it, you were suddenly sat on the edge of Riki's bed. Your face was still struck by pain, you couldn't even force the frown off it. He stood in front of you, pulling his hoodie over his head. Your gaze lifted, eyes scanning him carefully as he revealed his breathtakingly toned body, you were sure it was sculpted by the gods. Silence continued to engulf the tension-filled room as your hands got to work on Riki's belt, one of his hands simultaneously pushed damp strands of hair out of your face. You shuffled your body backwards across the soft sheets, your eyes not leaving his. He climbed onto the bed after stepping out of his jeans, he followed after you and propped his body above yours.

Riki's woeful gaze burned into yours for what felt like an eternity.. Before his lips met yours in a fervent hunger. He kissed you like he had never kissed you before. Your tear-stained cheeks met his ones as he deepened the kiss, your mouth being entirely engulfed by his. Your breaths mingled, hot and heavy as you let his tongue fight against yours. The kiss spoke volumes without words, it expressed every single pent-up emotion he had buried deep within himself.

You couldn't believe this was how he was going to take your virginity, and you, his. While you were painfully upset at him. You thought about how you had different plans for how you wanted your first time to go, though, your focus was shifted back onto Riki as you felt him slightly lift your oversized shirt. He left gentle kisses across the skin on your abdomen, in which left you with chills running up your spine. He then tugged at the waistband of your sweatpants, helping you take them off. He left another trail of wet kisses up your legs and thighs, stopping at your soaked panties, almost drooling over the sight. Riki's eyes, puffy and red, found yours again. You gave him a nod, reassuring him that he could proceed.

His hands tugged the soft fabric down, his lips placing a kiss where your body needed him the most. He slipped a finger between your folds, wanting to ensure you were ready for him. Your body reacted immediately, your hips lifted off the bed and into his touch. He lips traveled up your body, and found their way back to yours in a sweet kiss. He reached a hand between your bodies, tugging at his boxers.

His voice was gentle as you felt him rub his length against your wetness, "Ready?"

"Yeah," You breathed out,

Riki's gaze didn't leave yours as he pushed himself into your core excruciatingly slowly, eliciting a gasp from you. He groaned at the feeling of having you finally wrapped around him. It took him a few moments to bottom out inside, before he waited for you to adjust to his size. He carefully analyzed your face for any signs of pain or discomfort. You were seeing stars at the feeling and size of him.

Riki became alarmed when he noticed your eyes starting to fill with tears yet again, he wasn't aware of the fact that it was due to how much of an emotional mess you were in the moment. You couldn't deny your anger towards him, yet you also couldn't deny the fact that you loved him more than anything and anyone in the world.

"Keep going," You broke the silence. He kissed your tears away before he began to thrust carefully into you, his gaze switching between your eyes and lips. A finger of yours settled on his bottom lip as you scanned his gorgeous features.

"Does it f-feel okay?" He managed to choke out quietly against your finger, as he continued his actions. Your back arched, your chest pushed against his.

Another moan escaped your lips, "More than okay,"

You could feel your release build up over the next few minutes as he repeatedly hit all of the right spots, he was thrusting into you like there was no tomorrow. Your hands ran along the soft skin of his back, he was so warm. The thin layer of sweat covering him made his skin glisten.

"Y/n," He panted into your ear, from what you could tell, he was very close, "I'm so sorry,"

You were closer.

A short, high-pitched moan fell out of your lips as you felt yourself come undone, Riki's pace quickened as he chased his own high. You choked out a sentence you had been meaning to tell Riki for a long time, in the middle of it all.

"I- I love you," You cried, barely being able to speak, your hands still stuck to the bed sheets,

Riki's gaze shifted back to your face instantaneously, he thought he was hearing things. His lips bit at yours as he pulled out and released all over your tummy, the sticky liquid felt warm against your skin. He felt another tear run down one of his cheeks, he was so overriden with emotions he didn't know what to do with himself.

"I love you so much more," The boy panted, trying to regain his breath as he laid his head on top of you, his chin nuzzling between your clothed breasts.

You pushed his hair out of his face as you raised an eyebrow at him, your voice tired, "But I'm still angry at you,"

His eyes closed as a light chuckle escaped his mouth, gaze soon softening as he continued to watch your face. Your fingers were still within the messy strands of his hair.

"I can live with that, but I can't live without you,"

His statement felt like a stab at your chest, god, you truly did love him.

"I never regretted becoming yours," You sighed as you suddenly remembered the angry sentence you spat at your boyfriend, just to get a reaction out of him for how he emotionally hurt you.

Riki moved his body to place a kiss on the side of your neck. He nuzzled into the space, his arms hung around your figure. He kept you close.

"I can't live without you either, Riki, we'll work through this."

...

#enhypen smut #riki smut #ni-ki smut #enhypen imagines #riki imagines #niki smut #niki imagines #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #riki-dazed

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duhnova · 3 months

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Cry-Baby | Choi Seungcheol

synopsis. decked out in leather and riding a harley davidson like he’s got business with the devil, choi seungcheol was the talk of your small town. everyone looked down on him and when you come home for the first time since starting uni you find it hard to believe that the pouty lipped kid you tossed off the merry-go-round when you were six was some slick haired delinquent.

pairing. biker!choi seungcheol x fem!reader

word count: 4.9k

genre. fluff, angst, opposites attract, drama?, kind of college au

warning(s): mentions of parent death, mentions of parent illness, alcohol, let me know if i forgot anything!

this is apart of a 90's collab! you should check out everyone elses fics! - there might be a smutty & more angsty part 2 to this if there’s enough interest! also huge shoutout to @onlyhuis and @onlymingyus for proofreading for me, ily guys <3

When you left for university three years ago you never wanted to return home, the small town always made you feel claustrophobic. But now you’re sitting on a train, about an hour away from your childhood, the sony walkman you got as a graduation present from high school sat in your lap as you listened to the same nirvana cassette on repeat.

The nerves of being home began to get to you as the familiar views of the old trailer park that sat outside your town came into view. An old pickup truck that adorns the same white and blue paint of your best friend's truck drives down the road that travels along the train tracks and it makes you wonder if it’s him coming to meet you at the station.

“We’ll be arriving at the station within the next five minutes.” The worker smiled at you as she continued down the aisle of seats to tell the other patrons of the cart that the train will be stopping for a couple minutes at your stop before embarking to the next station.

You put your walkman in your pocket so that you aren’t scrambling to gather your things when the train stops. Just as you got your backpack situated the train jolted a little as its breaks screech to a stop.

“Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our next stop.” The worker's voice is drowned out by your music as you stand up and grab your suitcase before hopping out the door with the worker's help in lifting your bag down.

“Thank you!” You call out and wave as the door closes and the train takes off again, no one else got on or off.

“Y/N!” You hear a familiar voice call from behind you, the roar of a diesel engine brings a certain comfort to you that you haven’t felt since you left.

“Gyu!” You call out with a smile on your face, the change in his appearance being more shocking in person than you thought it would be, having only seen him in pictures he sent from the crappy disposable cameras he and his friends like to use. All the work he’s been doing on his family's ranch has paid off as his muscles glisten with dirt and sweat.

“I’ve missed you cherry pop.” He hugs you tightly as you laugh at the nickname he gave you years ago because you always had cherry lollipops on you.

“I’ve.. missed you too.” You choke between laughs and the way he was squeezing you a little too tightly.

“Sorry,” He laughs as he lets you go to grab your suitcase instead. “Are you hungry? It was a long travel day for you.”

“I could eat.” You smile as you take your headphones off to let them rest around your neck as you follow your best friend to his truck that was still running and emitting a gross smell of diesel.

“Great, let’s go to pops diner.” He lifts your suitcase over the side of the truck bed like it was nothing before he opens the door for you to get in. The leather of his seats were warm from his heater that left the cabin toasty unlike the train car you had been sitting in almost all day.

“How are you?” You ask about the owner of the diner who was well into his 70’s at this point, his restaurant having been open for almost five decades at this point.

“He’s doing good, got his hip replaced last summer,” Mingyu shifts the car into drive after he reversed out of the spot he parked at. “Still kickin, Cheols mom still works there too.” The mention of your old childhood playmate makes you smile bittersweetly. The last time you two had talked was before you left for college and he seemed angry about everything in life and he took it out on you leaving a sour taste in your mouth and the lack of communication between the two of you over the past few years.

“That’s nice, how is she doing? I remember last you told me she was in the hospital for something.” Mingyu sighs a little from beside you.

“Yeah she was, took me forever to get anything out of Cheol about it but she’s doing good now. Or so I’ve been told.” Seungcheol had always been hard headed and he’d rather talk about other people's problems than his own so it didn’t surprise you that Mingyu had to dig for some type of answer from him.

“Is she working today? I’d love to see her…” Your voice trailed off as you thought about the lady’s son, who you desperately wanted to see as well but how you left things made you hesitant.

“Not today, she’s off for the weekend.” You nod, mumbling that it’s nice that she takes the weekend for herself.

“I know you and Cheol had some blowout when you left but I’m going to see him later after I drop you off, if you wanna come with you’re more than welcome too.”

“What’re you two doing?” Mingyu was surprised you didn’t immediately shoot down his offer, he thought it would take more convincing.

“We’re going to the river for a bonfire with Jeonghan and Wonwoo.”

“They’re home too?” They had both left for college around the same time you had.

“Yeah, they come home every break they can.. Unlike someone I know.” He laughs lightheartedly. You huff quietly, unsure of how to respond. How do you respond anyways? You never wanted to come back, memories weighed heavy on your heart and the only thing keeping you to your hometown was the friends that resided in it.

“Hey,” Mingyu's voice softens. “I get it, you got out when you saw the chance and I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Your voice was just as soft as you watched the familiar scenery zip by. A nice silence fell between the two of you as he focused on driving, the train station sitting a couple miles out from the town you used to live in.

“The bank sold the house by the way.” Mingyu broke the silence, a nervous sweat settled on his forehead as he broke the news to you.

“About time.” You sigh, another weight you didn’t realize you were holding lifted off your shoulders. “Less for me to deal with now.”

“You’re not upset?” Mingyu looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

“No,” You sit up straighter and begin picking at the hem of your jacket. “My father was a drunk with thousands of dollars of debt he owed the bank so I’m not even surprised they sold it to make back what they lost and then some I’m sure.”

“At least an actual family bought it instead of some corporation.” Mingyu tried to lighten the mood. “They just moved in and they have a newborn and a cute dog that I think you’d like.”

“What kind of dog is it?” You side eye Mingyu, appreciative of the fact he moved on from the sensitive topic so quickly.

“A corgi, they said it’s a black tricolor… Whatever that means.”

“It’s the fur color, it’s mainly black with a little bit of brown and white?”

“Yes! See this is why you went to college, you’re smart as hell.” You shake your head with a smile on your face.

“You’re smart too, Gyu, and not going to college doesn’t affect that.” He shrugs as he slows his speed down after approaching the edge of town.

“If you say so cherry pop.” Just as he pulled up to the first stoplight the roar of a loud engine could be heard from a distance.

“I bet that’s Cheol.” You look at Mingyu confused before your question gets lost once you see the helmet less Seungcheol sped by on a motorcycle you had never seen before, his once dark hair was bleached blonde.

“That’s Cheol?” You asked as you watched him disappear down the opposite street you and Mingyu turned down.

“Yeah, he changed quite a bit since you left.” That was an understatement as Seungcheol looked as big as Mingyu, maybe bigger if you dared to think.

“I can see that, can’t believe he bleached his hair.”

“He did that pretty recently actually, said he needed a change and decided the worst that could happen is his hair would fall out.”

“He’d look good with a buzz cut.” Mingyu laughs at the thought causing you to laugh too.

“You should tell him that tonight when we hang out, I guarantee he’ll either blow a gasket or take you seriously and actually cut his hair off.”

“He would drown me in the river first before he’d listen to me.”

“I don’t know cherry pop, you were very influential to him for a long time. Remember how he did your bidding all throughout elementary school?”

“Yeah cause I tossed him off the merry-go-round at recess and he decided he was scared of me until junior high.”

“I think we were all scared of you after that,” Mingyu puts the car in park after pulling up to the diner. “The older kids wouldn’t mess with me either because you scared them too.” The fact Mingyu is younger than you by two years makes you question reality as he’s much bigger then you now and has been since junior high.

“Still wild to think about.” You laugh as Mingyu hops out the truck to run over and open the door for you, he’s never allowed you to open your own door since he started driving.

“Oh, I guess Cheol’s mom is working today.” Mingyu closes the door behind you and puts the key in the handle to lock it as he stares at the familiar woman through the window that was taking someone’s order. “Someone must’ve called out of work today.”

The two of you walk to the front door together, making small talk about anything and everything. Seungcheol’s mother greeted the two of you with a smile and handed you two menus once you sat down.

“It’s good to see you sweetheart.” She smiles widely at you, she was always like a second mother to you growing up especially after you mothers untimely passing.

“It’s good to see you too, you look great.” You smile warmly, despite any animosity you might feel for her son right now you will never be able to hate this woman.

“I’ll start you two off with some water?” You both nod, prompting her to walk away.

“So how’s the ranch?” You scan the menu, already knowing what you want but wanting to check to see if anything new was added.

“It’s good, Cheol doesn’t work there anymore.” Mingyu doesn’t look up from his menu to see your surprised expression. “Mr. Johnson offered him a job as a mechanic after seeing the work he would do on the farm equipment.”

“Mechanics suit him.” You smile at his mother when she comes back with your waters.

“Do you two know what you want?” You both nod, letting Mingyu order first despite the look he gave you after you shrug and take a big gulp of your water. “Are you getting your usual sweetheart?” She turns to you.

“How do you remember what I used to order?” Your eyes widen.

“You’d order the same thing almost every time you’d come here since you were a kid and I’ve been working here longer than you’ve been alive so I have it practically engraved into my memory.” She laughs quietly as she takes your menus. “You and my son are the same in your consistency in ordering the same thing.”

“Oh.” You could feel your face heating up at the thought. You’re happy she didn’t bother to push a conversation as she went to help more people that came in.

“You and Cheol are as opposite as opposite can be.”

“You don’t say.” You roll your eyes playfully.

The banter between you and Mingyu continued on, even after your food came you both found something to poke — and trust me there was a lot to poke at that has happened over the past three years that couldn’t be conveyed over letters and the occasional call here and there.

“We should head out now, get you to the ranch so you can clean up and rest before tonight.” Mingyu paid for your guy's food like the gentleman he is and held the door open for you as you walked out into the warm summer air.

“Am I obligated to go swimming tonight?” Mingyu shakes his head.

“You’re not but we’ll all be swimming so,” He hops into the truck after opening the door for you. “Just to be safe you might wanna wear your swimsuit.”

“Got it.” You nod your head before watching out the window again, committing your old hometown to memory again. The drive to the ranch was peaceful and long, sitting a few miles out of town on the opposite side of where the diner was.

Once you got to Mingyu's house and greeted his family and caught up, you went to the spare room upstairs to unload your bags and lay on the bed to unwind. A quick nap was sure to help the oncoming headache you got so after changing your clothes to be a little more comfortable you crawl under the freshly cleaned blanket and almost instantly knock out.

A couple hours pass by before Mingyu is knocking on the door to wake you up, telling you the guys are heading to the river now and that you two need to get going soon.

Groaning quietly as you sit up in bed and stretch, it felt nice to not have to worry about anything as this is the first summer you decided to not take summer classes as you'd be graduating early after this upcoming fall semester. Getting up and taking your walkman out of your bag again you took out the nirvana cassette and put in green day instead, the music more uplifting and giving you an ounce of energy to put your swimsuit on and a pair of shorts and jacket to cover yourself.

“How was your nap dear?” Mingyu's mother greeted you as you walked down the stairs, your friend standing by the door waiting (im)patiently for you.

“Amazing, sitting all day in those train seats takes a toll on your back.” You take your walkman headphones off and half hazardously shove them into your jacket pocket.

“Tell me about it, I can’t sit for too long now without going stiff.” She smiles warmly as she wishes you two well as you b-line to the door after Mingyu told you to hurry up.

“Couldn’t even give me time to say bye.” You grumble as you shuffle up to the truck where Mingyu was holding the door for you.

“Sorry cherry pop, the guys are waiting for us and we still gotta get drinks.”

“Why are we getting the drinks?” You buckle up and put your headphones back on, both of your tastes in music are dramatically different as he puts in a country cassette into the radio.

“You’re home, they want you to get what you want instead of drinking what they like.”

“They still drink that shitty dollar beer right?” Mingyu nods. “Then we drink the same thing, not much has changed as I still couldn’t afford the expensive stuff being at college.”

“Great, that makes this run cheap.” The ride to the corner store was quick, the street lights lining the road leading from the ranch to town making the trees look ominous.

Once you guys had secured the alcohol you made your way to the river. The long body of water stretched for miles outside of town in both directions, and the one spot you guys have always met up at since junior high was hidden away. You had thick bushes to climb through and poison ivy to look out for as it wasn’t a regular site on the river to be at.

“Mingyu! Y/N!” Jeonghan called happily when he saw the two of you emerge from the bushes. The bonfire was already large and roaring while Cheol and Wonwoo were already in the water swimming.

“Hannie!” You smile and hug him happily, he was always the least affectionate person so when he offered you a hug you always took it.

“How have you been? It’s been years!” He pulls away from the hug to greet Mingyu while sitting down in his chair and pats the one next to him that looked to have been occupied by Seungcheol at one point based on the jacket hanging on it.

“I’ve been good, college has been tough but I'm graduating a semester early.” You smile at Mingyu who hands you a beer before he sets the box down and makes quick work to strip down to his swim trunks so he can join the other two in the water. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been great, graduating a semester later than I should've, but I took a light load last semester because I was back and forth to be here for Cheol while his mom was in the hospital.” you nod your head while taking a drink of your beer. You never realized that his mom being in the hospital was that bad.

“Mingyu didn’t tell me much about her being in the hospital so I didn’t realize it was that bad.” You look out at the three guys who are currently climbing the rock in the middle of the river so they can jump into the water.

“He wanted to write to you, ever since you left it’s all he had been beside himself about but when his mother got sick he wanted to write to you even more.” Jeonghans voice was soft, nervous that the said male would hear your two's conversation and start hounding him for spilling the secret.

“I wanted to write him too, but-“

“But you couldn’t, I’m not as hard headed as Seungcheol so I get why but I don’t get why you couldn’t have let him down sooner.” You sigh, this was a conversation you knew you’d have eventually as Jeonghan was Seungcheols best friend outside of you and he was the only one that knew about you two.

“I wanted to, believe me it was never my plan to break things off the day I was leaving but I was selfish and didn’t want to let him go yet.”

“You are selfish,” You laugh quietly, thanking him. “But he’s selfish too, this town holds too many bad memories for you and he wanted to tie you to it when you finally had the chance to escape it.”

“You know, I asked him to come with me.” You took another sip of your beer, your eyes back on the blonde who seemed to feel you staring as he tilted his head back and gave you a bitter smirk. “When I first got the acceptance letter and I was on the fence about going, he wanted me to go but he also wanted me to stay and so I told him to come with me so I didn’t have to choose.”

“He never told me that.” Jeonghan opens up another beer and gingerly takes a sip of it.

“I’m not surprised, I think he thought it was a joke.” You finally tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to look at Jeonghan. “After that I didn’t tell him I committed and just continued to relish our time together.”

“Y’know, he wanted you to go because this was your dream but he wanted to be a part of that dream and you keeping that from him and then cutting ties with him when you left is what broke him.”

“I didn’t mean to.” You mumbled and looked down at your half empty beer can. “He was the one that told me that if I wasn’t willing to make things work then he didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Well he’s dumb,” Jeonghan takes another sip. “But so are you.”

“I know.” You close your eyes and sigh, letting your head lull back on the chair.

“Are you going to talk to him while you’re home? It is the first time you’ve been home since leaving after all.”

“This isn’t my home anymore.” You don’t bother to open your eyes as you take in the warm night air. This hasn’t been your home since you left and it hasn’t felt like home for far longer, the only thing (or person) that made you feel remotely anchored here was Seungcheol.

“It was your home at one point, and I'd argue it still is because Seungcheol and the rest of us are here.”

“Corny loser.” You mumble, a small smile cracking at your lips before you sit up straight. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I had been prepping myself all week to mend things between us while I was here.”

“Good.” Jeonghan smiles and downs the rest of his beer. “Now hurry up and finish drinking so we can go join them in the water before it gets colder.”

“You’re going to die in that water, it’s too cold for you already.” You laugh before downing the rest of your beer so you can strip down to your swimsuit, making sure not to toss your walkman around too much.

“I’ll manage.” He shrugs after taking his clothes off too before walking cautiously up to the edge of the water. He barely touches it with his big toe and he curses.

“Told you,” You stand beside him and watch his reaction. “You just gotta go in as quick as you can.” You show him how it’s done as you take a deep breath in and hold it as you quickly walk into the water before you’re deep enough to dive under.

“Show off.” He huffs before he follows in your footsteps, cursing the whole way up to his shoulders.

“You did it han,” Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “You’re shivering already.”

“It’s fucking cold and you’re all insane.” He huffs and starts to swim around a little, letting the cold water soothe his warm skin.

“I think it feels good.” You had popped back up next to Mingyu who was standing with Seungcheol who was watching Jeonghan worried.

“It does feel good.” Mingyu lets the water support his body as he starts to swim backwards, no longer being a wall between you and the ire of your freshman year of college.

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Wonwoo gives you a small smile before he also swims away, leaving you and Seungcheol alone and seeing the look on Jeonghan's face in the distance makes you believe that this was planned. He clears his throat when he seems to realize you two are alone.

“Um,” Is all he manages to say before you’re taking a deep breath and turning to look at him.

“Hi Seungcheol.” He flinches at the use of his full name.

“Ouch, hi litt-“ He catches himself using the old nickname he had for you. “Hi Y/N.”

“God I hate this.” You can’t be bothered to hide the fact that the whole situation makes you sad and angry already, you missed him and he was right there in front of you and you were both acting like you wanted nothing to do with each other, which might’ve been true right after you had left but as time went on it faded into longing and anger at oneself.

“You hate this? How do you think I feel?” He crosses his arms and looks down at you.

“Cheol I-“

“I don’t want to hear excuses.”

“Ok asshole I was going to apologize but not anymore.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him so you could swim away, the conversation you had with Jeonghan felt like complete bullshit now.

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm to spin you back around, the water splashing violently at the fast movement. “I’m sorry, for everything.” It was rare that he’d ever apologize and right now it felt out of place as he had no reason to apologize at the moment.

“I practiced how this conversation would go for weeks and this was not one of the ways I accounted for. You weren’t supposed to apologize first.” You look up at Seungcheol who was just staring at you silently now, his hand still holding tightly on your arm. “Seungcheol I-“

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop interrupting,” You huff, the smallest smile forming on his face “I’m sorry for how I left things and for everything leading up to when I left.”

“Y’know, I spent most of the first year you were gone blaming you, and then I started blaming myself until my mother made me realize that neither of us were to blame and then I spent the remainder of the time just numb.”

“If you stopped blaming me, how come you didn’t write to me?”

“You never wrote to me.” He sounded hurt and you were hurt too but you hated the pain in his voice and it caused you to move closer to him, hoping you could erase even just a hint of it.

“I’m sorry, there was never a time where I didn’t think about writing to you but your words kept playing in my head about how you never wanted to hear from me if I left our relationship behind.”

“It wasn’t much of a relationship then was it, we were just friends exploring each other,” That’s what you liked to tell eachother when you were in denial about your feelings. “I wrote letters, most of them are stamped and sitting in my desk drawer because I couldn’t bring myself to send them.”

“Yet you bought stamps for them?” You raise an eyebrow curiously.

“Yes,” He huffs, trying to hide the ounce of embarrassment he’s feeling. “I’d get these bouts of feelings where I’d want to send them and I’d get all the way to the post office with a stamp on the envelope and the second I’d park I’d back out and go back home only to hide it away with the others.”

“Cheol…”

“I know it’s probably stupid and I’ll just burn them all now since you’re home and-“

“I’m not staying,” You cut him off for some reason. “I mean I’m staying for the summer but I’m going back home to finish my last semester of college so I can get a job at a vet clinic there.”

“That’s ok, this time I promise I will write.”

“You should come with me.” You blurt out like you did all those years ago.

“I can’t leave my mother, she won’t leave this town and with her health fluctuating I just can’t.” He gave you an actual answer this time unlike he did when you were younger.

“I get it, she needs you.. But one day you have to leave this place, don’t you think?” Your hand gently touches his arm as you drift even closer to him.

“I never thought of leaving until you left.” He mumbled as his hands moved to ghost over your sides that were under the water.

“One day?” You sounded hopeful. “Even if we’re old and married to other people do you think you’d still leave?”

“I..” His voice trailed off as your breath got closer to his face. “I’d never marry… unless it was you.” He whispered before he finally kissed you, the weight of what he said disappearing as you both got lost in the taste of each other. After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away out of breath, a quiet whistle could be heard from behind Seungcheol somewhere and you assumed it had to be Jeonghan since Mingyu would’ve quite literally jumped the two of you.

“Cheol- '' He cuts you off.

“Let's enjoy the night, yeah?” He didn’t want to talk about what he just said, or what the future would hold anymore. It’ll take time, you both realized, for things to go back to normal but for now you were content with how things were because this time he knew what to expect when summer ends, he just hoped that you’d change your mind about long distance relationships. And you hoped he’d change his mind about rotting away in this small town.

feedback + reblogs greatly appreciated! let me know what you guys thought!

#svthub #kvanity #kflixnet #90’s collab #scoups #seungcheol #scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #scoups fluff #scoups angst #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol angst #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines

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joelscruff · 1 year

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wait (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader) 18+

first and foremost! this is part of my boyfriend's dad!joel series and takes place after "words". this won't really make sense if you haven't read that one! it's so crazy to me how this started out as a silly little smutty drabble and somehow became this. this one's kind of heavy (read the warnings!!) but i promise that things won't stay this angsty forever. at its root this story is supposed to be smutty and fun and i promise there will be more of that in the future. i hope you enjoy it and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 summary: it's been a month since your boyfriend discovered your relationship with his father and a month since you've seen joel. it's starting to take its toll. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: daddy kink, unprotected p in v sex, sexting, comeplay, angst, allusions to past trauma, shitty family dynamics (addiction & verbal abuse), panic attacks word count: 3.2k

i miss you

it's the only thing you've thought about texting him for about a month, a text you always type out and then erase a few moments later. it's something you swore to yourself that you wouldn't do no matter how lonely you got. he'd said he needed time, and you want to give it to him. and yet here you are, leaning against the window of your bus home from community college with tears in your eyes, phone in hand, wanting nothing more than to see him. selfish.

it's been one of the loneliest periods of your life. you've known loneliness, felt it throughout most of your childhood, through your adolescence, it's nothing new. but with joel you'd finally begun to feel whole again, like you actually mattered to someone. he looked forward to seeing you, to holding you, being with you. you'd never felt so desired and loved and protected in your whole life.

now you're back to having nothing, no one. it's a harsh reality you're forcing yourself to accept. you still haven't heard anything from your boyfriend - now ex, of course, though there was never any official breakup - and even that's a punch to the gut, an added depth to a loss that you caused.

he's hurting, i hurt him, joel's words repeat in your head. it breaks your heart that he's feeling so guilty, that he feels that he caused this entire thing when it's really your fault. if you weren't such a mess of a person, such a broken human being, the whole thing wouldn't have even happened to begin with. what kind of person sleeps with their boyfriend's father? starts a relationship with him? calls him daddy?

you know you caused this and yet you can't help but miss him so much. it's like he's ingrained himself into your bones somehow, his touch tattooed into your skin. he's all you think about, dream about. you miss being in his embrace, being held by him, whispering daddy in his ear and feeling understood, not judged. you miss his gentle kisses to your nose, the safety of his lap, his arms around your trembling form while he fucked you, took you, made you his.

you stare at the unsent text message and inevitably find yourself scrolling back up to a previous conversation from a few months back, short and simple. texting was never a frequent medium for the two of you, more-so used for you to send him dirty pictures every so often to tease him a bit. you briefly look at the picture, a close-up shot of your bare pussy with some of his come leaking out; absolutely filthy.

still have u inside me daddy

oh baby, so messy. what am I gonna do with you?

you smile at the silliness of it all, the filthiness, but it quickly fades when you remember the reality of the situation again, the fact that your boyfriend had read joel's messages, had definitely seen these texts in particular. he'd called joel a sick man. you don't agree, but you can understand why; if you'd seen a text interaction like this between your own father and a girl half his age... you'd probably have a similar reaction - though the concept of your father showing a woman any affection in the first place is alien in itself.

your bus pulls up to the stop near your house and you get off, slipping your phone back into your pocket and hiking your backpack over your shoulder as you go. it's only a short walk to your house, no more than three minutes, though you usually try to make it a bit longer to delay the inevitable disaster of your home life.

you take it one step at a time, slowly walking down the darkening street with fresh tears in your eyes. god, you're so lonely. you don't want to go home, don't want to be accosted by your alcoholic father and avoidant mother, your asshole brother who never gives you a break. it's so damn depressing in that house; when you'd first gotten together with your boyfriend you'd been so relieved to finally have somewhere else to go that wasn't school or home, another reason you'd stayed with him for so long despite the relationship being doomed. you should have known it couldn't last.

you'd told joel everything. it's hard to believe sometimes that the connection you shared was strong enough for you to trust him with some of your darkest secrets, the worst things from your past. he knows all about your family, all about what you've been through, had listened to you quietly and earnestly as you cried into his shoulder about the hand life had dealt you. he'd rubbed your back, kissed your forehead, whispered it's okay, and i'm here now, and i'm gonna take care of you, sweetheart. and he did. he did take care of you. he'd done everything right and somehow you still managed to fuck it up.

the lights are on in the house when you arrive at the front gate, though the car is missing from the driveway; this only means that your mother is out late tonight, probably staying with a friend or a lover or whoever she turns to when shit gets bad. you can't blame her - you'd done the exact same thing when you'd actually had somewhere to go - but part of you still aches for that little girl inside you that needs her, wishes she was inside waiting for you, though it's not like she'd do much to help.

your father is definitely home, probably your brother as well. you stand at the gate, gripping the strap of your backpack and deliberating even bothering to go inside. you know you'll be accosted at the front door by either a drunken tirade or bitter argument. it's a no-win situation no matter how you look at it. your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out, grateful for one last brief distraction.

i miss you too, angel. so much.

your eyes go wide, heart stuttering in your chest as you stare at the words.

"fuck," you breathe, "fuck, fuck fuck," you quickly scroll up to confirm your fears - the i miss you text, the one you always erase, the one you make sure to never send - you'd somehow sent it this time, entirely by mistake.

tears are stinging your eyes as you turn on the spot and start walking back and forth in front of your house, running your hand through your hair in disbelief while you stare at joel's text. you fucking idiot. what the fuck have you done? what happened to giving him space? you stupid fucking bitch. you absolute loser. you're suddenly berating yourself the exact same way you know your father and brother will berate you if you go in the house now. you can already picture it - them seeing your tear stained cheeks, the puffiness of your eyes, the words they'll throw at you to hurt you even more, make you feel small.

fucking bitch. fucking loser. fucking idiot.

your breathing is becoming more and more erratic the longer you pace. you can't go in now, not after this, not after seeing that he misses you too and being so fucking close yet so far away. all you can suddenly think about is all those wasted moments at his house, spending so much time with your asshole boyfriend when you could have been with joel, been loved instead of tossed aside like garbage.

god, if you could only hear his voice. if you could just talk to him for one minute before you have to go into this godforsaken hellhole.

before you even fully understand what you're doing, you're hitting the call button and bringing the phone up to your ear.

he answers on the first ring.

"h-"

"i can't do this anymore," you gasp out through a sob, not even bothering to let him say anything, "joel, i can't do it, i miss you so fucking much it hurts."

"babygirl," he breathes, voice rough and deep and gorgeous and familiar, sweet like honey in your ear, "where are you? are you okay?"

and that's enough to break you.

you feel the tears begin to stream down your face, hot and unrelenting. you shake your head even though he can't see you, throat bobbing through repetitive gasps, "no, i'm not okay," you blubber, "da- fuck, joel, i- i can't do this, i can't be by myself anymore. i'm - " you don't even know where this is coming from, voice muddled, "i'm so lonely. i can't do it anymore, i can't. please, i can't."

he makes a devastating sound at your words, something between a sob and a gasp, "where are you?" he repeats, voice full of concern, "where are you, baby? i'm gonna come get you."

"the bus stop by my house," you manage to tell him through your tears, reaching the little bench and situating yourself on it without an ounce of hesitation, "i was- i was gonna go home but," another sob rips through your throat, "but they're home and i- i can't- i can't take it anymore, joel. i don't wanna be there anymore, i can't be there."

"you stay where you are, you hear me?" you can hear movement on the other line, the rattle of keys, footsteps, "don't go home, babygirl, i'm comin'. i'll be there in ten minutes."

"okay," you whisper, trying to catch your breath, "okay."

"deep breaths, baby, remember?" and you do remember; he'd taught you some exercises to help in situations like this, when you feel like the world is falling apart around you and you're just getting smaller and smaller, disappearing into nothingness. he'd held your hands while you'd sat in his lap, eyes closed as you both matched each other's breathing, melted into one another. "in and out, babygirl, that's it. real slow, count for me."

"i r-remember," you manage to hiccup, squeezing your chest with your other hand and trying to ground yourself.

the wait is excruciating, no matter how short, and no matter the fact that joel is on the other end trying to calm you. you sit on the bench with a hand on your heart and the other on your stomach, listening to joel count to five over and over, phone upturned on your thigh.

"big breath in. one...two...three...four...five," he says through the muffled sounds of traffic and wind, "big breath out. one...two...three...four...five." over and over and over again, "i'm turnin' the corner, baby, i'm almost there," he says after about ten minutes of this, "you see me, honey?"

you look up to find his headlights, getting brighter and brighter as they approach. you shakily sit up from the bench, breath coming out much less erratic now, "y-yes," you whisper.

seconds later the car is pulling up in front of you and he's jumping out, not even bothering to shut the door behind him as he dashes around it. it's been so long since you've seen him that it's jarring to suddenly have him in front of you, sprinting toward your small and shaking form with his jacket undone, shoes mismatched, glasses askew. you catch a glimpse of his expression, concerned and upset - are those tears? - before he scoops you up into his arms and pulls you in close to him.

"i'm here," he tells you, voice rumbling through his chest against your cheek, solid and warm, "i'm here now, babygirl, you're okay. you're okay."

and somehow you are.

"i'm sorry," is all you can say to him as he drives you to his house, hand holding yours tightly the whole way, "i'm such an idiot, i'm so sorry."

"stop saying that," he repeats for maybe the fourth time, shaking his head and squeezing your hand even more firmly, "you're not an idiot and you have nothing to be sorry about."

you really are okay now, breaths calm and tears not even flowing anymore. instead the guilt and shame and humiliation have taken over, sinking into your skin as you lean back in the passenger seat with your hood pulled up, hiding your face from him.

"i was giving you space," you mutter, "i didn't even mean to text you, it was an accident. i was being stupid, as usual."

"stop it," he says again, "stop being mean to yourself."

you close your eyes and face away from him, "easier said than done."

the two of you drive in silence for a few moments, that is until he asks, "have you eaten?" and you say, "no."

he buys you mcdonalds and doesn't let go of your hand.

the house hasn't changed. you hadn't really expected it to; it's not like it's been that long since you were last here. you don't bother even sneaking a peek at your ex boyfriend's bedroom as joel leads you upstairs, curiosity nonexistent.

you're not sure why you expect him to take you into his office, maybe sit on the couch with you and talk. to your surprise he leads you straight past the door, down the hallway to what you can only assume is his bedroom - a place you've never been in all your months of being with him.

"sit down," he tells you softly as he opens the door, pulling you slowly inside and nodding toward the queen sized bed, "i'll get you something to wear."

"okay," you breathe, barely looking at him as you examine the room in front of you, large but cozy, cool colors but a warm atmosphere, framed music posters and blueprints covering the walls - exactly what you'd expect from someone like joel. you shuffle forward and drop your bag at the end of his bed, sitting on the edge of it while he goes to his dresser.

you end up in one of his sleep shirts and a pair of his underwear, loving the feeling of being his again, even if neither of you have actually talked about what exactly this means for your relationship. he helps you change, tugging off your worn-out jeans and the same shirt you've worn for three days in a row, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he pulls off your panties and replaces them with his boxers. it's not sexual, but part of you still longs to pull him on top of you, just feel his weight, smell his cologne.

he pulls back the duvet and helps you climb inside onto your stomach, rubbing your arms and shoulders and releasing some of the tension you've been feeling for the past month. you feel him press another kiss to the back of your neck, pushing your hair out of the way and stroking it gently, giving you all the care and attention you've been aching for. his hands are so big, so comforting and safe, touching you everywhere without any expectations or underlying motive.

"i missed you, daddy," you whisper against his pillow, not sure if he can even hear you, even more unsure whether it's okay to use that word anymore.

he doesn't reply right away, still kneading his thumbs into the base of your back and massaging you gently. you hear him inhale and exhale deeply a few times, like he's biding time while he figures out what to say.

"sorry," you wince, "joel."

he releases you then, helps you turn over so you're on your back and peering up at him with uncertainty. he sits on the edge of the bed and reaches down to thumb your cheek, eyes sad and tired.

"i wanna be that for you, sweetheart," he murmurs, brow furrowing, "i do. i want it more than you even realize," he takes a breath, biting down on his lip briefly, "i just... i need you to tell me somethin'. be honest with me now."

your heart skips a beat, "what?"

"when you said you loved me..." his voice breaks a bit and you ache to reach for him, cup his cheek and hold him close, "was it because of what we've been doin'?" he seems to reassess his words, shaking his head slightly, "i mean, did it...did you actually mean it? or was it... was it just part of the game?"

you stare at him for a few seconds, lips parting and eyes going slightly wide. without a second thought you do exactly what you'd just been thinking about, reaching up to place your hand against his face, feeling his scruff beneath your palm. he leans in and takes a breath, peering into your eyes with a yearning you can't describe, can only feel.

you shake your head slowly, "joel," you whisper, "it's never been a game."

his eyes close, stuttering out another breath when your thumb strokes his cheek soothingly. unable to hold back anymore, you lean up to capture his mouth in a soft kiss, sweet and tender and familiar. his hand finds the back of your head, pulls you closer, claims you again.

he fucks you slow.

it's never been like this, never has he fucked you the way he fucks you now. you barely speak, just moan and whimper and sigh and melt into each other the way you've never truly been able to, not without prying ears and a time limit hanging over your heads. your hands tangle in his hair while he hits that deep spot inside you, holds you close, buries his face in your neck and breathes you in, pounds into you relentlessly like you'll both come apart at the seams if he lets go.

you're biting it back, trying not to say it as much as you desperately want to, still unsure if this is really want he wants. just tell me what to do and i'll do it. i don't care, i'm yours. he looks into your eyes and you can't help but start crying again, overwhelmed by the warmth of him, the safety. he thumbs your tears and kisses them away.

"say it," he murmurs to you as you both near your inevitable release, the tension building and building as he grabs your face with both hands and fucks you with purpose, with passion, "say it, babygirl, tell me."

you shake your head, suddenly self conscious, suddenly afraid. the feelings from earlier tonight rise back in your chest, making a home in the back of your throat as a sob threatens to rip through it.

"it's okay," he whispers, voice trembling with the speed of his thrusts, "it's okay, honey, i wanna hear you say it," he furrows his brow and releases a groan, so close to the edge, "please, baby, say it. need you to say it."

you pull him close, grip his back, press your lips to his ear, "daddy."

he groans, dark and rough, "that's it," he murmurs, "that's it baby, i'm your daddy. that's right." he pulls back to look at you, eyes meeting yours in a passionate gaze that lasts forever, "say it again."

"daddy," you whine, unable to unlock your eyes from his, lip trembling as you submit entirely to him, "feels so good, daddy."

there's something in his expression you can't place, something in his words that reverberates in your brain like a pinball. say it again... you realize it means more than you'd initially thought. he's not just asking you to say one word - he's asking for three.

"i love you," you cry out just as he presses his thumb to your clit, pushes you over the edge, "i love you."

he comes just as you do, an animalistic sound tearing from his throat as your fingers scramble for purchase at his back, holding him impossibly close to the point where his entire body weight is on top of you, but you don't care. all you can feel is the way his heart beats against your chest, the way his gasps match yours, finding the same rhythm.

you lay there still for what feels like eternity, joel laying on top of you with his cock still deep inside and his forehead pressed against your shoulder. your tears have stopped but you feel the dampness of his own on your skin, hear the gasp he lets out as he sets his emotions free.

"i love you too," he whispers in your ear, breath hot and quick, voice wrecked, "god, i love you so much."

for the first time, you stay the night.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #*#fic: bd!joel

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rite4fun · 1 year

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soft hands

heyyy 🤪

i started this in the midst of my other writings- forgot about it and then i recently found it again and fell back in love with it so.. here it is finally!! // also my first request ever which is really exciting and special so i hope this doesn’t disappoint, i’ve spent the last two days perfecting it so if there is mistakes- idk man I have to stop looking at it before i go crazy 😭

requested by: @endlessvoidd

an angsty/fluffy/!!smutty!! fic based on this song - i.e. my interpretation into this.

18+ content

••

love is a fickle thing.

coming in many forms but always ending in similar fashion: heartache.

atleast that’s what it felt like to you. it was as if the whole world remained stagnant while your own went up in flames. but that’s what pain does to one, isolating them so only they feel as if there was no one else who could ever feel the way it made them.

this pain often took the shape of another human.

one that claimed another name, promising safety and care but never keeping to their word. it was a cycle they used, a ruse to get you under their control and you fell for it everytime.

a faux charming smile mixed with poisoned sweet words held in devilish hands.

your colorful heart so open for loving that it made you vulnerable to the ones who were willing to hold it. their rough hands gripping so tightly till you’d bruise only black and blue.

so now as the whole world burns, you had found solace in your own. it no longer felt like you were underwater, suffocating in the abyss of darkness that always seem to swallow you.

you’d been pushed to your limits, forced to become stronger and bolder in your decisions. you had too- in order to survive this new world where the only thing that mattered was living to see the next day. it was no longer a place that required such care or attention to minuscule feelings like love.

until you met him. daryl dixon.

someone with no smile, spoke very little words but otherwise soft hands.. someone who you never thought you’d fall for, especially in this seemingly mundane world.

but here you were..

it was like those pieces you left behind had come crumbling back into existence.

the colors of your broken heart, blooming together for another and no matter how hard you tried to deny the feelings, they would always be there, lingering into every touch, every gaze, every moment you had with him until it became too much to bare.

but even then, you’d do nothing.. never to push or pull him, you’d take whatever you could get because even without him reciprocating any feelings, it was the happiest you’d ever been.

••

violet, the selfless lover.

sweat glistened over his muscled arms, his sleeveless shirt accentuating his broad shoulders before dipping at his waist and hips that shift as he fiddles with his belt.

a familar sight: his back turned to you.

you lie in bed in the aftermath of your indulgences. the only covers having survived your rushed intimacy were the thin sheets that you pull up to your chest, shielding parts of yourself that he has already seen but now, not in a fit of hurried passion, it felt too vulnerable.

especially now, in the moments he quickly slips away into the night, void of live beings and caped into darkness.

your eyes flutter shut, ears catching the light sounds of his shuffling as he gathers himself. you swallow the suffocating words, the ones that ask him to lie back down with you.. to hold you, love you, touch you.

just this once, stay.

you repeat the words over and over in your head, hoping that somehow he would suddenly be able to read your mind but like clockwork, you hear him pause.

his motions freezing as you feel his gaze struck on your body, casted in the moonlight revealed from the open shades of the window that releases the heat of the room. you always wondered if in these moments he ever thinks about it.. staying.

laying down beside you as his hands caress the parts he had once gripped tightly in desire. your head upon his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat thudding softly against your ear. his arms wrapped around your frame, caging you in protectively.

but alas, it’s only seconds later, he’s moving again.

you steady your breathing, fighting every urge to twitch and allowing him to believe you have fallen asleep. you really aren’t sure who you do it more for: him, so there are no awkward goodbyes or yourself, so you don’t have to endure the pain that comes with his departure.

he always leaves though so your troubles never really vanish so you guess, in a sense it’s more for him.

you remember the first time it happened, after traveling together for so long with tensions high whenever you were near each other- it seemed inevitable. grappling at one anothers bodies in haste as you fought to stay quiet in hershels now cleared out barn.

embarrassingly that same night, you had expected something different. that it meant you no longer had to tip toe around the supposedly feelings between you both- except it appeared one sided when he left hurriedly after your secret escapade.

then you supposed it should have remained a one time thing but something kept pulling you both back towards the other and as time passed with more people added to your group, you figured you two would grow even further apart but no-

it wasn’t like he ever seeked you out but it was almost like he was always waiting, finding hidden spots wherever to succumb to your primal states before parting and acting as if you weren’t just moaning each others names in bliss.

maybe that’s the reason you continued to hold on so tightly, he kept coming back and despite his inability to show anything but desire towards you.. it felt like enough.

you felt like you could make it enough.

so you would act like it was all just a passing fleet of passion when it came down to it.. for him.

you can hear his steps around the room before a new pressure of weight covers your body, the welcomed warmth of the duvet setting your heart to burn.

only to be sizzled out by the sounds of his descending steps as he leaves the room, shutting the bedroom door softly before making his way down the stairs and out the front door, locking it with the spare key.

you sit up, gripping the thin sheet around your body as you move to stand at the open window. the streets remain dark but if you squint your eyes enough, you could make up the shape of his body, moving easily through the pitch black night.

the physical distance he puts between you rivals the emotional one that always sits heavily in your chest.

you watch as he approaches his home, the porch light turning on, making his body freeze at the bottom step for only a split second before he’s moving again, disappearing under the porch awning and eventually into the home.

your own home remains silent, quiet, still. completely void of anyone and anything but your soft breaths.

with the loss of some members of the community and the consistent rebuilding, new homes were becoming available. you once resided with the grimes family, michonne, carol and daryl.

until rick approached you all, offering you a place of your own. even before the world went to shit, you never lived alone. having a roommate of sorts or living with a boyfriend, and even when things got rough, your parents invited you in. the idea was unnerving, especially after living in close quarters with your newfound family. it was a change and you couldn’t understand why it made you so unsettled.. but a lot of things have changed since before and you assumed that everyone was trying to settle in more firmly, the grimes family deserved that more than anything so you figured you’d try.

maybe you, carol, and daryl could move into one home together?

but it was never spoken as an option, so you stood with shaky legs in the back of the living room as everyone looked to you in confirmation. you had refused to make eye contact with any of them, especially after carol piped up that daryl was welcome in her new home. isolating you without notice but you didn’t blame her, how could you?

there was plenty of chances for something to come of you and daryl but it didn’t. it wouldn’t, it seemed.

that leap of possibility lingered at arms length, yet felt untouchable.

so you agreed, following rick as he guided you to your very own home, placed conveniently right across the street from carol and daryls new home.

seemingly a physical representation of your inner battle, so close yet so far.

blue, the understanding lover.

there’s an overwhelming amount of yearning in your body as you watch him caress her forehead before pressing a soft kiss to it.

his hand is gentle in his touches, even from afar you can see the way in which everything he does is tender towards her.

for a second, you too, can almost feel the ghost of his touches, equally as soft but less loving and your heart aches at the thought.

you feel a bit ridiculous at being jealous of a baby. a sick baby at that.

“you ready?” your attention is pulled from the bittersweet scene to the woman that’s approaching you.

“‘course, you?” maggie hums with a grin before following your gaze that’s found it’s way back onto him.

“he’s always so good with her, hm?” you can only nod mutely, that ache beginning in your heart, falling to the pit of your stomach as you watch him conversate with rick who gently holds his babygirl in his hands- daryl loves on her with an equally soft touch.

one, your body desperately craves.

despite his hands physically being rough from the countless amount of hours he spends working with them, he had a way of knowing just how to handle you: so soft with the right amount of pressure to still excite you.

the only part missing was the consistency; the knowledge that he was yours as much as you knew he owned every bit of you.

even if he didn’t know it.

you shake your head as if it will physically rid your hopeless thoughts, changing your regard for checking your pack and making sure you’re prepared for the run.

shortly after everyone splits in farewells, six of you pile into a black suv for the trip. you settle in the furthest seats with maggie, rosita and tara infront of you as glenn drives with daryl in shotgun.

an unfortunate sickness had fallen on the community, not yet as severe as the one that had tragically taken place at the prison- but whatever it was spread fast and had sent a dent into the infirmaries medication.

so a pharmaceutical run was needed, especially after little judith herself fell ill.

the six of you volunteered, immediately finding a small community pharmacy close enough that had been scoped out as potential. it was a no brainer when it seemed nearly abandoned, very little walkers surrounding and every bit as hopeful as life could give right now.

upon arriving to the building, you split off into groups of two. you had expected to go with tara but found her already linking and walking off with rosita- and you’d never break up the dream team of maggie and glenn so.. you found yourself left with daryl.

there are very few moments where it’s ever just you two like this, without that fire burning between your bodies. you aren’t sure if that was just dumb luck or something daryl arranged so he never had to be with you alone. either way you never questioned it because sooner or later he would be in your bed, pressed skin to skin as you shared sharply sweet kisses and the feeling of being unwanted vanished.

green, the caring lover.

“shit” daryl curses as you wrap his leg is gauze, covering the wound he inflicted when a shelf fell onto him.

there’s an alarm blaring over your heads and the familar ghastly groans pounding on the pair of front doors that the rest of the four lean against to keep them out.

“did anyone check the back door?!” rosita yells.

“could hear them clawing at it too but i think it’s our best choice.. didn’t sound like too many but if we wait any longer, that could change” glenn speaks through his teeth as his feet slide against the linoleum flooring.

daryl winces when your rushed hands put too much pressure and you mutter a quick apology, “i can clear it”

“nah” you look up at him as he brushes off your offer.

“i don’t think we have much of a choice daryl, i can do it” your voice is quiet against the harsh banging, “we can’t wait it out, they can see us through the doors”

“i said ya ain’t doin’ it. jus’ let me think of somethin’” he makes to get up, his leg nearly collapsing under him in pain but your quick to reach out, grabbing onto his waist to steady him. you’ve never had your hands on him in this way, it feels different yet familar- heartwarming even as you brace his body against yours.

“well, can you think faster because i don’t know how much longer we have until they push through us!” rosita smarts at him, agitated with concern by the situation.

you lift your head to the flashing red lights above then twist it to the back of the pharmacy, “it looks like the alarms are set only upfront, they will be more attracted here than in the back.. i can do it”

you go to release daryl hastily, going to make a break for the back but he grabs your arm, clear irration oozing into his words, “are ya hearin’ me? … you three hold ‘em doors, we’ll let ‘em in one by one”

you stare in disbelief as everyone listens- tara and rosita holding onto one door while glenn has the other, maggie coming to stand next to you readily with her knife in hand.

your attention is then drawn to daryl who pushes your helping hands away in attempt to steady his stance alone, finding a comfortable balance as he readies his own knives.

the echoed alarm has nothing over the sound of your own heartbeat through your ears. there’s mild annoyance that builds in your stomach, in result of daryls doubt of your ability to do anything by yourself.

you find your feet moving backwards on their own accord, watching as they all follow directions but it’s not going to be enough against the growing dead outside- getting close enough to consider a horde. one of them slips, allowing two walkers to stumble in and as maggie and daryl are distracted, you take your sudden leave.

sprinting towards the back before anyone can say anything. the relentlessly pounding is just as loud and the hinges of the back door rattle but the piercing siren has lessened, giving you enough head clearance to search the back room for something to hold against the door. you plan to use the same tactic except it’s just you against the many that stand on the other side.

it’s the only way you can think of to ensure that everyone makes it home with the supplies, a hell of a lot quicker too.

the only things in your vincity is shelves stuffed with random boxes but it will have to do. you yank some down, hoping to lessen the weight of it before you’re shoving at it.

“come on..” you grunt in frustration but with one final harsh shove, it collapses over with a loud bang- a heavy box toppling down along your arm, cutting open a clean laceration from your inner elbow to your wrist, “fuck!”

ironic enough the fallen box now lays crumbled at your feet, busted open and spilling out its contents of bandages. there isn’t time to perfect the wrapping of your arm, nevermind control the consistent bleeding that quickly seeps into the cloth but it works for now.

adrenaline runs through your veins, keeping the pain to a minimum as you drag the shelf to the door, angling it so that it only has a sliver of space to crack open once it hits the fallen piece of metal.

your body feels heavy, exhaustion settling into your bones from this trip already. the idea of crawling into the warmth of your bed, sounded better than ever but it’s not time yet. there was still work to do and your people needed an out, you’ll be damned if daryls remark held you back from a potential opening.

you heave a deep breath, turning the knob just so the door is loose before backing up and readying your knife.

the first few walkers stumble through the crack one by one, easy enough to take out. in a short amount of time, you’d killed a dozen or so and you’re beginning to wonder how many more reside outside the door as you begin to tire out. there’s a pause and no more push through but you can hear them, their monstrous groaning floating through the crack.

you decide to take a breather, dropping your arms in fatigue but it’s the wrong time to rest as another walker squeezes through, having been forced through by another that stumbles in quickly after. you shove tiredlessly at the first one, gripping the second and collapsing to the ground with it as you stab it in it’s head. your knife is a lost cause inside the skull of the walker and you scramble back as the second one stumbles after you, it’s unstable body crumbling ontop of yours.

you have your hurt forearm rested on it’s neck as it’s teeth snaps at you grossly while the other hand pushes at it’s forehead. it’s been awhile since you’ve been so close to a walker like this. since arriving to alexandria, you and maggie worked along with deanna on building a new brighter future for the community.

as time passed, you found being inside the walls wasn’t so bad and the only time you itched to be out was when daryl would be gone on his weeks long recruiting trips.

he is what made alexandria feel more like home to you.

his insane judgement of character made you feel safe, so if he found that trust within those walls- so did you and every other person in your group.

that’s why you needed him to get back, why they all needed to make it back. alexandria would never be the same without him- without any of them.

you internally scoff at your overly ridiculous thoughts, even as you sweat so close to death itself, all you can think about is him.

but with thoughts of getting him out safely, comes a newfound strength as you let it’s forehead go, the walkers head dropping dangerously closer to your face as you scramble for the gun on your hip.

it’s a clean one shot before your throwing the walkers body to the side with a grunt, scurrying back in fear as your heart thuds painfully in your chest.

no matter how many times you’re faced with this new reality, it never fails to scare you shitless with the constant reminder of how living isn’t a promise and looms so dangerously over your head- or directly in your face.

a refreshing soft breeze comes from the cracked door, snapping you from your building anxiety and you hastily crawl to it, pulling it open more and finding the alley clear.

you smile in relief and as much as your body screams to rest, you’re running to grab the others to make a swift escape before anymore walkers can show up.

red, the passionate lover.

the thunderous clouds open for the loud torrents of rain creating a solemn ambience among the community.

similar to the way you feel as you lay on the couch, shades open to watch the droplets that hit the window before sliding down.

freshly showered with a clean bandage on your arm, wrapped in a sweatshirt far too big for your figure and fuzzy socks, you wallow in the warmth of your own home.

there’s a pounding at your front door that interrupts your thoughts, one that could almost rival the thunder released from the sky.

you pull a thin blanket from the couch, wrapping it around yourself as your sock covered feet slide across the wood flooring to the door.

pulling it open, the sky’s weeping shower is louder but what takes your attention is the soaking wet man that stands before you.

“daryl?” head to toe, his body is drenched. his clothes clingling to him, dripping onto your front doorstep. his hair beginning to wave as the tips leak water onto his shoulders and face, in which you finally take in his exasperated expression, “what’s wrong?”

“wha’s wrong?” his tone is full of frustration, “let’s start with tha’ stunt ya pulled earlier today, hm?”

confusion covers your features, your fingers gripping the blanket tighter around your body when a gust of wind and rain blows through, “what do you mean?”

daryl huffs, a hand coming up to swipe over his mouth roughly, “i mean.. ya makin’ a stupid decision tha’ could’ve costed ya, yer life!”

“what?” you can tell your inability to make sense of the conversation only frustrates him more but given that last time you saw him, you guys were fine- as far as him ignoring you, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and now he shows up at your home to yell at you? so yeah, you had a right to be a little confused.

“dun’ play dumb, i told ya the plan and ya ran off! decided playin’ with ya life was the way to go instead!” although it was just hours ago that you laid face to face with death, it felt like days and you no longer cared to linger on it anymore as you stand within the safety of alexandria.

“i made a choice. you have no right to insult me! it saved us, didn’t it?!” you hadn’t expected him to praise you for what you did, but his response to your actions that helped you guys make it back safely was unbelievable, had it been anyone else-

“at what cost?!” clearly you aren’t understanding what he’s saying as he grows more agitated by the second.

“what does it matter? it’s over daryl!” you grip the blanket in one hand as you toss the other out in annoyance.

“ya shouldn’t be risking ya life lik tha’.. fo’ anyone!”

“well i did!”

“why?!”

“because that’s what you do for someone you love!” your chest heaves with rattling breaths, “i-i wasn’t thinking about me, i just knew you had to get out, that’s all i cared about.. you getting home” you turn your head as you feel tears burn in your eyes.

it’d be silent if not for the rumbling downpour coming from the sky above as if the universe too, was upset.

“… ya love me?” bewilderment makes up his otherwise timid tone.

but you can’t face him, the humiliation of outing yourself too much to bare so you just nod your head abashedly, tear-filled gazed locked on a chipped part of the doorway.

“look at me” you can see his body move closer from the corner of your eye but you make no move to change positions.

body aflamed with embarrassment, frozen in time as your mind races through every outcome of this situation. all ending in familiarity: your heart laid crushed in the open, bleeding the many colors it holds. it’s like you can feel the ache of longing that follows as you rethink every moment you guys had together, clinging to the memories to cope with the overwhelming sadness that withers into your chest.

there is no time to mourn something you haven’t lost yet when a pair of hands cup your face gently, forcing your gaze to the sharp blue eyes of daryls.

the distance between your faces closing as his thumbs absentmindedly wipe the tears from under your eyes. the rise of your heartbeat causes your chest to heave with your deep breathes mixing with daryls as his body sways closer. his eyes never leave your face, taking in every inch as if he still can’t believe the words that you uttered so effortlessly in your emotional fit.

“ya mean it?” with your gazes locked, you can finally take in the hidden vulnerability that lies in between his mumbled words. unable to speak with the lump that settles into your throat, you can only nod feverishly in his grip but it isn’t enough as he shakes his head, “say it again” but you respond with your own head shake, finding it hard to grasp onto any words. his rough thumb brushes over your trembling bottom lip soothingly, his tone soft yet encouraging, “ya can, baby.. say it again”

the pet name slips from his lips seamlessly, breaking your resolve as your hand releases the blanket and instead, both reaching out to grip his forearms with soft dry sobs of the words over and over.

i love you. i love you. i love you.

daryl is quick to match your distress with comfort, wrapping one arm around your waist to hold your body flush against his, “i know, i know, i know.. ’s okay baby”

you allow yourself to fall into his arms with a light flush to your cheeks from embarrassment, so quick to fall apart at the slightest coaxing but you needed this. him. you needed him to understand just how much you felt for him and how overwhelming it all was.

his arms are strong, encompassing you in his body heat that lights a fire in your own. your arms snake around his neck, pulling his face closer and it’s enough for him to finally slot your lips together.

despite the growing fever of desire, the kiss remains slow but your grips on each other tighten as he shuffles your bodies into the house, shutting the door all the while keeping his lips attached to yours.

one of his hand slides down your body, gripping your thigh as a signal for you to wrap your legs around him, which you do with a quiet huff.

with blinded knowledge of the layout he takes you to the living room, laying your body gently on the couch.

you shiver at the lack of contact and his piercing stare as he takes in your delicate state. your hair fanning behind your head as the oversized sweatshirt you wear hikes up to your upper thighs, your legs bent yet closed innocently- revealing just the cusp of your bottom to him.

your eyebrows furrow at his longing gaze, poking his leg playfully with your sock covered foot which he grabs. you meet his sharp blue eyes and that growing fire in your stomach heightens at the hunger that lingers in them.

he seems to want to take his time, enjoying the sight of you but the need in you burns painfully for his touch.

tilting your head, you look at him from under your lashes, fluttering them prettily as you reach your hands out towards him.

he comes easily, settling over your body- it should bother you that his clothes remain wet and cold but it soothes your otherwise hot skin when his broad frame settles between your legs.

you’re pulling his lips to meet yours again, letting out a gasp at the sensation, sometimes you forget just how good you guys are together.

having spent years learning how each others bodies work; he knows exactly what touches will have falling apart while gasping his name and you know just how to move to have him desperately coming back for more- you two work together like a well oiled machine.

he lifts off of you, a whimper escaping your throat, “‘s okay baby, jus’ gotta take this off” he’s only able to swipe his signature vest off before you’re sweeping your upper body up to help him unbutton his sleeveless top, “eager, ain’t ya sweethear’?” his hand brushes pieces of your hair behind your ear, finger sliding down your neck and hooking into the crew of your sweatshirt.

you ignore his truthful remark, settling for pushing his shirt off his shoulders before pulling him back over your body, his bare chest pressing through the thick material of your own top yet you feel like you need more.

“more..” you squirm under him as his hands softly wander over your covered frame.

daryl only hushes you, his rough hands sliding under your sweatshirt, meeting the soft skin of your lower stomach, dipping up at your waist, tickling at your ribs until his fingertips skim just under your breasts. you arch beautifully into his hands, eyes hooded in lust as he watches your lips part in a quiet gasp.

your own hands grip at his muscled biceps, fingernails digging in- in anticipated pleasure. your body rolls, thrusting your hips into his in a desperate search of something to ease the throbbing pressure building between your legs.

he seems to take pity on you, lowering his body until he’s eye level to your stomach. his hands bunch up the fabric of your sweatshirt, lifting it just enough to reveal your belly button.

he places kisses under it, a warm and gentle peck that has you sucking your stomach in at the gesture. your hands grip his as you look down, his unruly hair falling into his face, slightly covering his now darkened blue eyes that glanced up every so often to enjoy the way your features contort in bliss. his lips remain on your skin, pressing sloppy kisses wherever he deems fit as he travels up. he keeps up with the lifting of your top, every new layer of revealed skin is left with heated, wet kisses that the air cools over- the sensation of it all, sending a thrilling shiver throughout your whole body.

you can’t seem to control your hips, bucking everytime daryl stops and takes a nibble at your skin before licking over it soothingly.

with your sweatshirt finally bunched under your pits to reveal your breasts to the open air, nipples hardening at the change of temperature. daryl kisses in the valley of your chest before humming to himself when he gets his lips around one of your nipples, his scruff scratching over the soft skin while one of his hands finds your other breast, calloused fingertips running over the nipple.

the change of position has daryls hips pressed right against yours, his jean covered bulge digging into your thinly covered core. a simple roll of your hips has your eyes rolling back, a choked gasp releasing from your mouth at the newfound pleasure.

daryl has switched to the other nipple, giving it the same attention as the last before he can’t take anymore of your quiet noises- lifting up to take your lips into another biting kiss. his hands grappling to rip off the sweatshirt over your head as he settles back on his haunches, only a sliver of blue visible in his eyes as he takes in your body - only softening a little as they gaze over your bandaged arm.

your legs settle over his thighs but the more he stares, the more unsure you become and you find your knees turning in- in an attempt to hide the most vulnerable part of yourself but daryl doesn’t let you get far, immediately gripping them to push them back out. one hand holds the crease of your knee, keeping your legs apart while the other slips down to your covered core, fingertips dancing over the wet patch of your panties.

the same way he seems entranced by your figure, you can’t take your eyes off him. on normal circumstances, he never took his time: seemingly too overwhelmed with desire to play things out, only taking exactly what he came for and never lingering after.

now though, his hands eagerly pause to truly appreciate whatever details he’s found of your body. his eyes lost in the way you move, the way you look.. finally he gets the chance to fully indulge the parts of you he never got to take advantage of in your unspoken situationship.

you huff as your hips press more firmly into his hands, daryls eyebrows raising in amusement at your clear impatience.

“jus’ wanted ta look at m’ girl” his mocking tone only burns the flames hotter in your body, “tha’s wha’ ya are, hm? mine?” he pushes your panties to the side, your dripping core pulsing in anticipation. he drags his fingertips through the wetness, collecting it before spreading it messily over your lips. he barely skims over your clit but the teasing has your senses on high and you find yourself unable to stop the twitch of your hips, “say it” his motions stop, fingers hovering over you as you meet his darkened gaze.

“i’m yours” your voice is broken, meek and so so beautiful to him, “please, ‘m yours”

maybe another time you’d feel embarrassed about being so desperate but the softness of his hands: the loving way he tends to your neediness has you on cloud nine.

“mm, ‘ve got ya” his gravely voice is only getting deeper, rumbling deep into his chest as he allows two thick fingers to slide into your pulsating hole. after years of being together, your body takes to him easily, opening to accommodate his digits.

“yes…” you hiss as you toss your head back, legs twitching as they threaten to close around his hand, a weak attempt to lock in the pleasure somehow.

daryl only grunts before his fingers are moving, hooking them everytime they slide out to target your gspot, thumb brushing against your throbbing clit. his pace is slower than normal, dragging out the sensation until you forget your name.

your impending orgasm is closer than you thought, his previous teasing ministrations having more of an effect on your body than the rushed ones you’ve endured before- not that those weren’t good but this, this felt stronger and harder to hold back.

as if sensing the same thing, daryls fingers pick up the pace until a slight squelch of your slick is heard over your gasping moans.

“gunna come fo’ me?” it’s sort of useless of him to ask as your eyes threaten to fall into the back your head, your body rolling into his hand uncontrollably and the obvious mewls of pleasure that spill from your lips- yet, you answer in a clumsy nod.

daryl doubles down in his actions, somehow shuffling even closer as he keeps his fingers inside of you and only thrusting deeper with curled fingertips, thumb messily moving over your sensitive clit.

the choked out moan you let out breaks in half into a high pitched squeal, knees helplessly knocking together while your hands reach out to grasp any part of the couch, you could get your hands on as your high hits.

“tha’s it..” the words are more of a growl as daryl watches you fall apart, your cries a muttered mixture of his name and sobs of pure pleasure until your left sinking into the couch with watery doe eyes, flushed cheeks, messy hair, and the heavy rise and fall of your naked chest.

his fingers only linger inside you for a moment more before pulling them out, lifting them to his mouth in a seemless action. he hums happily around his soaked digits as you whimper at the sight, shaky thighs opening back up despite your still throbbing core.

his hands fall to caress the smooth surface of them, eyes lost in the mess of your cunt until your hands reach out, fingers barely tickling over the bulge in his jeans. his hips push forward more and the response is enough for you to lift up, scrambling to unbutton his jeans and hurriedly pulling his cock out from his briefs.

he sits heavy in your palm, angry red tip with decorative blue veins down his shaft. your mouth waters at the sight and you go to lean forward, prepared to make him a mess as much as he did you but a hand grips the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair to tilt your eyes up at him.

your eyes are lust blown and so very eager, only to twinkle with confusion at his next words, “i’ll come too soon”

you pout, “want you too”

at your indignant tone, he cracks a small smile. hand coming up to cup your chin, thumb brushing softly over your lips before falling onto your tongue when you open your mouth- keen on showing him exactly what he is missing out on when the slick muscle swirls around his finger, cheeks holllowing sharply as you bob your head sinfully.

you can feel his cock twitch violently in your hand, your own thumb swiping over his tip to the oozing precum that continuously drips out.

entranced by you, it takes daryl a second to fully pull away: enjoying the suction of his digit and the soft pull of your hand on his cock but he finds the control to back away.

your eyesbrows pull together in confusion, a flash of hurt covering your features when he stands up from the couch- a sudden doubtful feeling that this isn’t what you thought it was settling into your head.

“not going anywhere, jus’ takin’ my jeans off sweethear’” his reassuring words ease the tension in your body as you melt back into the couch. his briefs come down with his jeans, revealing his familiar broad body to your eyes, except now, you’re able to fully take him in: fully appreciate his scars, his muscles, his tattoos.. everything that makes him- him. the many reasons you’ve found yourself falling for him before you could even catch yourself, “wha’s that look for?”

you hadn’t even realized you were staring at him a certain way as he settles back inbetween your legs after helping you disgard the last few articles of clothing on your own body.

you squirm under his tickling hands as they graze over your body in a loving manner, you release of sigh of bliss at the motions. his fingers dancing around your waist until you look back into his eyes that hold a questioning gaze.

“just.. love you” you shrug nonchalantly, breaking the intense gaze as your fingers reach out the fiddle with the ones still at your waist- an uncertainty to your already fragile tone.

an obvious fear that you may say the wrong thing, running him off to the hills after getting only a sliver of what could be.

your not sure what to expect but it isn’t his fingers tangling into yours, locking them together and squeezing to gain your attention again.

his chest presses against yours as he leans closer to your face, pecking your lips softly a couple of times before mumbling the words bashfully against them, “love ya too”

you’re at a loss of words, gasping softly as your hands untangle from his to grasp at his face, fingers brushing the stray hairs away so you could get a clear look of his face.

his sight lowers, staring more at your chin in obvious embarrassment, alongside the flash of red that spreads over the apple of his cheeks.

you bite your lip in hopes of curbing your amused smile but you can’t- too overjoyed with his words as you force him to look at you and as if seeing the clear happiness of your own features, he fights to hide his own.

“say it again” you sweetly mock his words from earlier, making daryl rolls his eyes playfully, grumbling as he shifts above you. the new position having his cock pressed against your core- sending a thrilling shock of heat through both you as if you had forgotten where you guys were.

a gasp releasing from both of your mouths as you move against one another, searching for that pleasurable feeling again.

you’re just finding a good rhythm, timing the roll of your hips perfectly with his so that the head of his cock nails your swelling clit everytime but he sits back- an action that has you whining in protest.

“quit tha’” he slaps a hand on your thigh, your body jerking at the delicious sting it brings, before he is guiding his cock to your slick hole. your senses are in overdrive after your first orgasm, the slow stretch of him pushing into you is a tad overwhelming as you reach out for one of his hands. his expression softens, his free hand rubbing soothingly up and down your thigh, even leaning over to press a little kiss on your knee.

your eyes are closed, chest heaving in deep breaths as you feel him enter you inch by inch slowly. in a normal fit of hurried passion, driven by nothing but lust, these moments are easily skipped over. fast paced with only one goal; release.

but now, as you grip onto one hand, his other softly grazing over your body with the odd kiss: it’s nothing but in the rawest form of love.

the simplicity of intimacy.

pressed all the way in, you find your body quickly morphing around the intrusion of him and your eyes finally open, finding his own on your face.

“‘kay?” physically feeling his small loving touches give no justice to the way his eyes glimmer fondly, a small hint of relief in them as if he has been waiting equally as long for you as you have for him.

maybe he has.. maybe his lack of emotions was a protective wall around his heart incase you didn’t truly feel anything for him- other than the odd fleeting need of release.

but you do, you always have and you try your best to convey that through your own expression while nodding to his question.

he chooses in that moment to move, sliding his cock out and slowly thrusting back in.

“ah..” your lips open in a blissful gasp, hips rolling down to meet his.

“yeah?” his tone is soft, hand coming down so his thumb could rub at your swollen clit, the shock of pleasure having you clench around his sensitive cock: a reaction that has him groaning, body slouching until his naked chest rests against yours, his face falling into your neck as his thrusts become more desperate.

your free hand comes to rest on the back of his head, tangling into the unruly strands as he bites at your collarbone with growls of pleasure. your still linked hands press further into the couch, now next to your head as this new position only allows your bodies to slide against each other but it’s enough. your sensitivity bringing your second release faster than the first while daryl heads for his first one after holding back for so long.

his hips stutter against your constant rolling, an attempt to make this last a little bit longer but you only torture him further- intentionally squeezing your walls around him.

“fuck” he pants hotly against your neck, “‘m gonna come if ya don’ stop”

“want you too” you huff back as your motions double down, the combination of your cunt clenching around his thick pulsing cock and the consistent sway of your body against him only pushes him closer to coming but he no longer fights it.

your stomach is tightening in heat as you yank his hair, forcing his head to come out from your neck, teeth clashing a bit clumsy as you pull his mouth to yours.

“do it” you egg him on, lips barely brushing his as he grits his teeth, “‘m yours, yeah? show me”

your bodies slide easily with the building layer of sweat on your skin from the amount of exertion you both use to challenge the other.

“fuckin’..” daryl presses his lips harshly against yours before his hips jerk sharply as he cums, groaning loudly and dropping his forehead on yours as he pants through the buzzing pleasure.

the sight has you nearing your own orgasm, gasping brokenly as you feel his cock twitch, painting your walls white and claiming you in a primal way that sends tingles from your stomach to your toes.

“please.. ‘m so close” you beg prettily as daryls orgasm passes, his attention immediately focusing on your approaching second one as he thrusts shallowly: so deep you feel him hitting spots that bring tears to your eyes, momentarily blurring your vision.

the quick build up has you babbling nothing but nonsense and the odd slip of his name. he has to lean back to take in the enticing vision you’ve become, head thrown back with your eyes shut tight, pink plump lips open to let out the most delicate sounds.

both of your hands now hold his biceps in a deathly grip, trying to find something to ground you as your high gets closer.

daryl tips forward to bite playfully at your chin, “look at me sweethear’”

you whimper before complying, dropping your head down heavily to peer up at him through wet lashes. he holds the eye contact as his hips increase in pace and force, now with his hands free: one settles next to your head, balancing his body above you while the other grips at your waist, pulling you down to meet his.

your second orgasm teeters on the edge of release and it’s like daryl can sense it, leaning down to connect your lips once more before mumbling against them, “‘m girl looks so pretty, hm? tha’s it… gonn’ come one more time fo’ me? promise i’ll take care of ya, let me see sweethear’.. told ya i love ya”

the heartfelt words send you over, your hands pulling him closer as you arch up into him. your eyes roll to the back of your head, cunt clenching tightly around his sensitive cock and thighs trembling around his hips. your cries of pure joy are followed by dry sobs as you try and catch your breath after such an intense high.

daryl is quick to meet your fragile state, petting your hair down as he places small kisses all over your cheeks, nose, corner of your lips, chin, neck, anywhere he could reach as you go through the full motions of your orgasm.

when your body drops heavily back into the couch, your eyes are shut in exhaustion, fully residing in his sweet pampering. the ticklish feeling of his scruffy beard against your neck has you giggling breathlessly, which only results in him groaning in response as you unconsciously squeeze around him.

he lifts to fully pull himself out of your body, both of you hissing in mild discomfort. for a split second as he removes his body completely and stands, you expect him to begin putting his clothes on, preparing to take his usual swift leave but instead he reaches under your body, lifting you bridal style.

“daryl!” you squeal as your arms wrap around his shoulders, an amused smirk falling onto his face as he carries you up the stairs to your ensuite bathroom in silence.

your next actions are equally as quiet, him leaving to grab towels and clothes while you use the restroom and begin the shower. standing infront of the mirror, you take in the new lovebites that scatter around your naked body, luckily in spots you can hide easily. a flush taking over your features even more when he appears in similar fashion: completely nude with scratches and nail indents- a true mess you’ve made of one another.

he hides a coy smile as he saddles behind you, taking in the mere sight he created upon you. you shiver when his hands settle on your hips before slipping to wrap around your front, pulling your back into his chest as he pressing a soft kiss on your shoulder.

all of his motions tender and loving- something you’ve yearned after for years from him.

and it’s finally happening, a little quicker than you thought too but maybe a little bit of coaxing from both sides is all you guys needed to fall into the right rhythm.

you feel a bit ridiculous that it took this long but the reality of it happening now, you can’t seem to linger on anything other than pure happiness as he holds you so closely.

his blue eyes peek up from behind your shoulder, “‘kay?”

your eyes sparkle with newfound warmth, “i’m okay, you?”

he playfully nibbles at your shoulder, tightening his hold on you even more as you laugh delightfully in response.

the shower is quick, intimate, soft and loving. both of you tending to one another as if you’ve done it for years and maybe you have in your own odd ways- daryl always keeping an eye out for you on supply runs, making sure you had enough for dinner even if it meant giving up some of his, bringing back things he knows you’ll like but gifting them anonymously while you loved him unconditionally, selflessly more giving than taking, accepting his many flaws and mistakes, understanding when he needs space, caring for him in all the ways he would allow you from afar.

he felt like he had a lot of making up to do but once again, you didn’t care as you laid upon his naked chest. freshly cleaned with minimal clothing on, your bodies lay above the sheets, basking in the cool breeze that flowed through the cracked window of your bedroom. the aftermath of the storm bringing glimpses of sunlight and light wind.

a certain calmness relaying over the both of you.

your leg was thrown over his hips, warm body pressed entirely to his side as your head rose with the slow rise and fall movement of his chest, the beating of his heart thudding softly in your ear as one of his hands softly rub your back, the other splaying across his own stomach, loosely wrapped around the wrist of your hand that continues to trace hearts on his chest.

if there was a way to touch you, he was doing it- enjoying the fact that you too, wanted this and diving head first into everything clumsily but oh so sweetly.

the heavy weight of his arms around your body and the warm consistent press of his hands was only a constant reminder that this was infact real.

he was here to finally just stay.

and while you know that this only the beginning, that both of you had to have real, long, uncomfortable conversations about your feelings- this was more than enough for now.

just you, him and his soft hands.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fic #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x reader fic #norman reedus #the walking dead #twd x reader #daryldixon #rite4fun #romantic pairing #light angst

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wheredafandomat · 1 year

Text

Selfish kind of love

Avenger! Loki x female reader

18+ | Angsty smutty thing that you don’t plan you just continue writing and end up surprised at the end too 😂

“Sorry, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment.” You spoke politely to your date whose name you felt rude to ask for again as you stood up from your chair.

“Of course.” He answered as you smiled curtly before making your way to the restroom before making a beeline to the exit when you were sure he was no longer looking at you. Angrily, you stormed into the alley next to the restaurant.

“Loki! Loki! I know you’re here, just show yourself.” You shouted out, furious that Loki had interrupted your date. Moments later, you felt him behind you as you quickly spun to face him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You accused, poking his chest with your finger.

“Ensuring you weren't on a date with an oddball” he answered, seemingly amused by your outrage “who I now know isn’t an oddball by the way, just very very dull.”

“Loki.” You gasped.

“He’s very boring y/n, and here I was thinking you liked your men a little more stimulating, callous.” He smirked, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Why do you even care? What does it matter to you who I date?”

“I don’t and it doesn’t.” He lied, stepping closer towards you until your bodies were pretty much touching. “I just—” he began, closing his mouth as he looked down at you, eyes traveling across the exposed skin of your neck, your chest, the beating of your heart before settling on your eyes “you look very nice tonight is all.”

“That’s it? You stalk me and my date to compliment me” you huffed “Loki just go, please.”

“Okay.” He uttered in response, both of you standing still as you looked at one another.

“Go.” You repeated, just above a whisper this time as you both continued falling into the pools of one another’s eyes.

“No.” He answered, pressing his lips to yours. You reciprocated the kiss, your lips parting as his tongue slipped past them. His hands claimed your body as he pinned you to the wall, his hand on your back softening the impact. You kissed each other messily, feverishly, barely breaking for breath as Loki pressed his hips against yours. His lips left yours, choosing to explore your neck instead as you rested your head back against the wall. You could feel him hardening as he pressed his bulge against you, lips finding yours again. His hands moved down the back of your body, squeezing your ass before they reached the back of your thighs. He pulled you up, positioning himself between your legs as he continued kissing you. His hand ventured between your thighs before you moaned, feeling his fingers slide beneath your panties before circling your clit. You were thankful you were in a dress as he continued his movements against your clit whilst sucking your tongue reminding you of all the times he had performed that same action only lower. Moments later, he was freeing his erection before guiding himself to your slick entrance and thrusting inside. You felt every ridge and every vein as he entered you deeper, filling you completely. He barely gave you time to adjust to his size before he was moving in and out of you, his cock already coated in your arousal. The back of your dress rode up a little as you moved against the wall, Loki fucking into you. He sped his movements, trying to bite down his own guttural moans as you fucked in the alley like foxes.

“I should have said before but—” he spoke, gritting his teeth as he thrusted deeper before pausing “I love you.” He finished, looking at you.

“You’re not in love with me Loki Laufeyson” you began, moving his hair out of his face “you’re in love with the version of me you get to fuck. It’s not love, it’s lust. We’ll never be more than this, back alley hookups and sneaking around.” You finished.

“You’re wrong.” He insisted, pulling out of you before thrusting deeply again making you hiss in pleasure. “I just told you I love you.” He argued, pulling out and thrusting in again.

“Fuckk.” You moaned.

“The least you could do is indulge me for a moment.”

“H-how?” You stuttered, swimming in bliss.

“Say it back, even if you don’t mean it, even if this is all we are.” He answered, circling his hips, grinding into you.

“Fine—I—ughh” you moaned, the new sensation leaving you speechless.

“Go on.” Loki smirked, still grinding into you.

“Gosh, that feels really good.” You near whimpered, Loki nodding. “I love you.” You ‘indulged him’.

“Good girl.” He grinned, fucking you with haste again.

“Fuckk—I loveee you.” You almost screamed as he kept hitting that perfect spot.

“Y/n?”

Your eyes rounded as you heard his voice, remembering you were on a date. You turned towards him apologetically.

“Fuck.” You spoke as he gasped before turning to leave. “Wait, wait.” You called after him, Loki silencing you with a kiss. “Why would you do that?” You questioned, breaking it.

“Because you don’t need him, you love me.” He smirked.

“Fuck sake” you sighed “get out of me.” You ordered, pushing Loki away as he lowered you.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to save my date.” You answered, pulling your dress down.

“Why won’t you just let this be?” Loki demanded, fixing his appearance.

“Because I can’t, we can’t.” You answered.

“Why? Why not?” He delved, holding your face in his hands. “Why won’t you just allow yourself this? Why are you so scared?” He continued to interrogate as you remained silent. “What are you so afraid of!”

“Loving you to lose you.” You exclaimed, a tear rolling down your cheek as Loki let go of you.

“Y/n.”

“You will always try to protect me, and Thor, and anyone on your team and I can’t love you if you’re going to do the sacrifice play at any given chance. I don’t want to admit that if I love you, I need you to be selfish. I need you to be alive, here, with me but that can’t happen because we’re avengers, sacrifice is what we do, survival isn’t guaranteed” you sniffled, reaching up to cup his cheek “so we can continue being this, back alleys and sneaking around but that is all. I need you to understand that. I need you to—”

“I understand” he interrupted, “but I still love you y/n” he smiled mirthlessly, wiping your tears “selfishly, wholeheartedly, forever whether or not you allow yourself to love me back.” He finished, kissing your cheek.

The song coming from Lokis AirPods on the way home

Tags:

@lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @lulubelle814 @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @eyesbluelikethetitanic @vickie5446 @mcufan72 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @lokilvrr @evelyn-kingsley @strangelockd @xorpsbane @lovingchoices14 @donaweasley @sailorholly @lokidokieokie

#loki x reader #loki angst #loki x female reader #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#oc fiction #loki fanfiction #loki smut #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x you angst #loki x you smut #loki imagine #avenger loki #loki x reader angst #loki au #Spotify

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sadhours · 1 year

Note

God I neeeed this written. It's been in my head after I re-watched season 2 🥹🙏🏼 Angsty and ends maybe smutty? Idk

Imagine:

Billy is a bully because of his dad. The abused becomes the abuser, right?

He hates how he lashes out but he can't handle everyone else's perfect little lives.

He meets you and everything changes. You're not stuck up. You get it, you get him.

One night the beautiful family facade fails. You witness it, you see his dad throw a punch in Billy's direction.

You don't think, you just lash out. Teach HIM a lesson. If Neil gives it, he can take it, right?

When you aren't fed love with silver spoons, you learn to lick it off knives.

I have been sitting on this too long, I apologize. I hope this is kinda what you were looking for!

warnings: Neil, obviously, violence, loss of virginity, p in v, unprotected (billys the pull out king)

He’s rough around the edges, but he’s dastardly handsome. You see him getting in peoples faces in hallways, chest puffed up and a look in his eyes like he can't believe he has to share air with such scum. He talks back in class, rolls his eyes when they send him to the principals office and you witness the cycle repeat day after day. When you notice a busted lip and bruised eye, you chalk it up to another fight at first.

You’re quiet, keeping to yourself everyday. At lunch, you shove headphones over your ears and turn the Walkman up so loud, you can’t hear your own thoughts. Walking through the hall, your tape skips and you pull it up to inspect if it split. Not watching where you’re going, you walk right into Billy Hargrove’s chest and stumble back onto your ass, the hard linoleum stinging as it makes contact. At first he looks furious, boring down at you with fire in his eyes and you stutter out an apology, rambling on about how your tape skipped and you weren’t looking ahead of you. Surprisingly, he softens, almost immediately and reaches out to grab your hand.

You take it graciously, allowing his strength to lift you up and he grabs your Walkman, popping it open and inspecting the cassette. As he pulls it out, the tape unravels and you curse.

“Hold on,” he soothes, “Not a lost cause yet.”

He walks over to a club table, ignoring the glares he gets from the Chess club. You follow curiously, watching as he swipes a pencil from the sign up sheets and ravels the tape back into the cassette with it. He hands it back with a smile.

“See? Easy fix.”

He makes you feel all dreamy with his attention focused on you. You might actually float away if you don’t rush off immediately. “Thanks!” you yell back, hurrying off and sliding the headphones over your ears again.

Slowly, Billy keeps popping up wherever you go. He even shows up at the record store you work at, weekly. You’re not even sure how it exactly happens, no words are spoken about it but you’re pretty sure you’re Billy Hargrove’s girlfriend. He’s taking you out on dates that end in heavy petting and eager kisses in the backseat of his Camaro.

He’s so incredibly sweet to you but not to anyone else he crosses paths with. You’ve even witnessed heated arguments with his friends. You don’t understand why until one night you’re hanging out in his bedroom and Neil comes barreling into his room and screaming about how he wasn’t supposed to park in the driveway.

It funnels into an argument about everything. Billy doesn’t do anything right, apparently. You’re sitting there, stunned all the while fuming at this asshole. His complaints of his son are laughable at best, none of them really a problem.

Then, it happens and you jump up off the bed. A hard sucker punch to Billy’s cheek, a thundering sound clapping through the room.

Before you realize what’s happening, you’re throwing punches left and right at Neil. As your lifted off the ground, Billy’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist, you see the absolutely dumbfounded look on his fathers face.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” he says behind clenched teeth, his eyes dark and terrifying.

Billy grabs onto your wrist, pulling you out of the house and to his car. He’s peeling out of there, the house getting tinier and tinier in the rearview mirror and you look down at your bloodied knuckles. You don’t know how it happened, you saw red in the moment. You’re silent. You feel as if you should apologize but you don’t regret what you’ve done, even if your punches didn’t hurt him like his hurt Billy.

“I…” you open your mouth and close it.

“I know.”

Billy drives out to a field, at least an hour from town. He turns the car off and sits there for a moment, staring out the windshield. Then he’s grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers.

“Thank you,” he mumbles and you know it’s difficult for him to say those words.

And everything makes sense, now. Why he’s so broken, why he’s such a tough guy at school. But what doesn’t make sense is why he’s so nice to you. Maybe because you’re the only person who reacted to Neil that way. He brings your hand up to his lips and kisses your bloody knuckles.

“I’m ready,” you tell him, not sure why now is the time you want to lose your virginity.

Billy laughs and you fear it’s out of cruelty. Your panic subsides when you see the sparkles in his eyes. He leans his head back against the seat and peers over to you, “You try to beat my dad up and now you want to have sex for the first time. What has gotten into you?”

“That makes it sound weird,” you point out, “I guess I just realized I love you.”

“Took ya long enough,” he snorts and you glare up at him. “C’mere,” he scoots his seat back and pulls you into his lap.

You straddle him, though it’s a tight space. He kisses you tenderly, fingertips barely holding your jaw, “I love you too.”

Your stomach does a flip, deepening the kiss once he mumbled the words against your lips. Billy reaches his hands up into your top, pushing your bra up so he can get a handful of your breast. He licks into your mouth as he squeezes you in his palm, making you squirm in his lap. You can feel as he smiles into the kiss before he pulls back.

“I can’t take your virginity in my car,” he admits and you whine, looking down at him with disappointment etching your features. He’s got you all worked up just to shut it down so quickly and he looks amused as he stares back up at you.

“Yeah, you can,” you retort, matter-of-factly.

He laughs, moving your hair behind your shoulders, “I want it to be special. It’ll be a hell of a struggle in this small space.”

“It is special,” you argue, “I want it.”

Billy bites his lip and looks at you under his thick lashes, “Would it be too seedy to take you to a motel?”

You shake your head, smiling at him hopefully, “I’d do it anywhere with you.”

“Get your ass over,” he smirks, “Let’s go.”

You scramble over the center console, squealing when Billy plants a hefty smack to your ass as you do so. You swear he’s never driven faster.

The motel room is seedy but you don’t blame Billy, he pulled into the first one he’d seen and you were more eager than ever. You stand awkwardly beside him as he purchases the room, trying not to look the clerk in the eyes but you can feel the older woman looking you up and down. Billy doesn’t seem to notice or care, grabbing your hand and leading you to the room. Once he unlocks the door and gets you inside, he’s pushing you against it and presses sloppy kisses all along your neck and collarbone. You feel electric, your body tingles all over but especially between your legs. Billy’s hands are firm on your hips where he’s pinning you against the door and his lips and teeth brand you with bruises descending from your jaw to your collarbone.

You guys have messed around a lot, almost any chance you got you would touch each other eagerly but it never got very far. Billy knew he was the first guy you’d done anything with so he never pressured you to do anything more than hand stuff. You’d always been sure you wanted him to be your first, though. It was just a matter of when, neither of you imagined it would be after you’d punched his dad. Perhaps Billy feared this would be his only chance, since there was no way in hell Neil would let you around again. He usually didn’t go against Neil’s word too drastically.

“Bed?” you pant out, pushing on Billy’s chest slightly. You felt like you were going to melt into a puddle on the floor, light headed from the way he mouthed at your sensitive skin.

“Yeah,” Billy nods and lifts you up, hands on your ass. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you let out a little squeal. He squeezes your bum before walking you towards the bed and laying you down before hovering above you.

“You’re sure?” he asks, grabbing a hold of your hand and his breath smells uniquely him, you’ve got no other way to describe it. It’s pleasant, almost sweet but unlike anything else. You want to taste it so your hand grabs onto the back of his neck to pull his plump lips to your own, slipping your tongue in between them. Billy moans into it, hands snaking up into your blouse and pushing your bra up like before so he can squeeze your tits. His hands are warm and a bit rough, contrasted to the soft, supple skin they’re flush with. His thumbs and forefingers pinch your nipples hard, pulling on them while he licks sloppily into your mouth. It sends electricity straight to your clit causing your hips to roll up at him uncontrollably. You’ve never felt so starved for something in your whole life, so instinctually needy for him to ravish you.

“Billy,” you plead, squirming under his touch, “Need you so bad.”

“I’m right here,” he mouths against your jaw still kneading at your breasts.

You lower your hands to the hem of his t-shirt and lift it up and over his head, tossing it aside before grabbing his torso every way you can. He laughs softly, pulling back so he can rip your top and bra off but his hands quickly return to your tits.

“I really, really need you,” you repeat, scratching at his tanned skin.

He stares down at you in awe, never in his life has he seen a woman so desperate under him. They usually played it cool, if they’d felt this horny for him they would usually try to hide it. You can’t though, it’s so evident on your face how turned on you are. Your wide-eyed, pupils dilated and your cheeks are flushed pink. It’s captivating. He grabs a hold of your cheeks, squeezing them together and slaps your tit with his other hand. You cry out, arching your back to feel some kind of relief.

“You want my cock so bad,” he pouts down at you, “poor baby.”

“Need it,” you whimper, voice distorted by the way he’s gripping your face.

“Aw,” he teases, “are you begging for me to fuck you?”

You nod frantically, his words only making you wetter, “Please!”

He lets go of your face and starts unbuckling his belt, pulling it through the loops before he kicks his boots off. He inches to the edge of the bed, unlacing your shoes as quick as he can. You prop yourself up on your elbows to watch him, the firm grip he has on your ankle makes you whimper. Once he’s got your shoes off, he roughly pulls your jeans off. He positions himself closer and presses his palm hard against your pussy, the barrier of your soaking panties frustrating you.

“Fuck me, Billy,” you mewl, “Pretty please.”

His eyes go dark, mouth opening slightly as he exhales hard. You switched something in him, he’s pushing his jeans and briefs off quickly, freeing his hard cock. The sight of it makes you drool, the tip angry red and leaking which lets you know he’s in the same boat you are. He tugs your underwear down your legs, spreading your legs and scooting himself up between them.

“You wanna feel my cock, baby?” he pants, fingers circling around his length.

You nod eagerly, “Please, Billy.”

He strokes himself, biting his lower lip as he brings his free hand down to feel through your glistening folds. Billy’s touched you there hundreds of times, seen your pussy plenty but never with the promise of being able to stick his dick inside. He presses his tip your entrance and then slides it up through your folds, rubbing your clit with it.

“Oh God,” you moan out, toes curling as you anticipate what’s next.

“Fuck,” he grunts out, “I’m not gonna last long. You’re too fucking perfect.”

The compliments sends you spinning.

“Just want to feel you,” you whisper, “have been since I first saw you.”

Billy leans down to kiss you, hard. He brings his tip back down to your hole, pushes inside slowly. You feel no pain like you’ve been told. It’s electric, actually, makes you feel all kinds of warm and wonderful. Until he pushes in deeper, then you tense, hands grabbing into his waist. Billy kisses your jaw tenderly, tells you to breathe with him. His voice soothes you. It’s the most decadent sound you’ve ever heard.

“Keep going,” you choke out through clenched teeth, “I can handle it.”

You know the more he moves, the easier it will be. You’ve been told. But Billy moves slowly, holds you like he’s scared to break you. You’d happily let him. He sinks in deeper and it’s like he’s pushed passed a barrier, the pain subsiding completely and instead you’re flooded with a rush of pleasure.

“Oh, god,” you pant out, face etched in shock.

“Too much?” he asks, panicked as he looks down at you.

You shake your head from side to side, “Feels so… nice. And warm.”

He chuckles at that bending lower to pepper your face in kisses and he starts to pick up a steady rhythm with his hips. Your legs shake slightly as you try to spread them wider, wrapping your arms around his middle. It’s tender in a way you’ve never seen Billy, he’s delicate and reserved. Then he exhales sharply, his cheeks turning red.

“I’m gonna fucking cum, already,” he mumbles, pressing his forehead against your shoulder.

“Is that bad?” you wonder aloud, wiggling your hips slightly and he’s pulling out of you and spilling onto your stomach with a hiss.

He collapses onto the bed next to you and covers his face with his hands. You look down at the mess he’s made on you, feeling as it starts to cool. You’re tempted to touch it, smooth it over your skin but you fear that would be weird. After heaving a sigh, he sits up and looks down at you.

“Not bad, you were so tight it just felt too good. Give me a break and we can try again,” he whispers, standing from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. He returns with a towel and cleans you up, pulling you into his lap when he’s done. You’re already eager at the promise of doing it again so soon.

#billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove smut

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purplekiwis · 2 years

Text

Summary: It's no secret that as a figure skater, you're fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty... and your ex's status as a player isn't helping much either.

Genre: Exes to Lovers (Enemies to Lovers if you blink 😉)

Warnings: it's angsty and smutty

Wordcount: 8K

A/N: i'd like to thank @sucker4angstt for requesting this concept! it was a blast to work on and i hope you guys have as much fun reading it as i had writing it 🤍

THIS IS A 2 PART SERIES | PART 2 IS HERE ❄️

OTHER WORKS BY ME

“You wanna do black again? Didn’t we do that last time?” Niall inquired as he switched off the car’s ignition.

You had just shown him a dress you had found the night before in hopes he would like it, but as you had already been expecting, he claimed black was boring and wouldn't stand out among the competition. “Well, yes but this one’s a different style from the last one. It would go well with our song.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try something new sometimes, you know? Like white or blue… perhaps even red?” He suggested as he removed both your skating bags from the trunk and placed them down by his feet.

You hid a sigh while you took your bag from him. It never got easier to admit that you had to consider the price before picking the costume. For whatever reason, there was always a hint of embarrassment associated to that admission. Needless to say you would also prefer to wear a bright colored outfit with lots of glitter and transparencies, but those were simply out of reach for your budget.

“We did red once already, that time we did Moulin Rouge.” You reminded him as you walked side by side, each of you steering your own carryon.

“Hm, that’s true. I’d forgotten about that.”

You hadn’t been lucky enough to land a parking spot right at the front of the sports centre that morning, which sucked big time given how chilly it was outside. Getting up early for practice was never fun, but during the winter months it got almost unbearable. Especially when the sky was all hazy and mostly black by the time you woke up.

“How would you feel about like, a nude?” You proposed, despite the fact that you weren't really fond of the color.

“From you?” Niall sniggered. “Thanks but I think I’ll have to pass.”

“Come on, can't you be serious for like 2 seconds? This is important.” You huffed, pretending like you hadn’t found his little joke amusing. “Also, um... I know this is probably like super annoying for you but my budget’s kinda tight right now, so if you’d be willing to repeat one of our previous outfits, that would be awesome.”

Niall laughed a bit. “Stop with that nonsense, will you? It's not annoying and of course I don't mind. Sides, it's not like it'll even matter what we wear. We'll do so well that the judges won't even think to pay attention to our outfits.” He then turned to you and stated, “...That being said, I still don't want to wear black again.”

“Aff, fine.” You grumbled. “Which one do you want to wear then?”

“Hm.. I dunno, actually.” He took a moment to reflect. “How about we just start naming them until we find one we both agree on?”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

“Ready?” He asked, you nodded. “1, 2, 3…”

“Pink.”

“Turquoise.”

“Navy.”

“Green”

“Orange.” You said it in unison, but your faces immediately turned down in distaste after. “Nevermind the orange. I still don't know what we were thinking when we picked those.”

“Yeah, me neither.” You admitted through a deep breath in. “I’d be fine with the green though, as long as it's the dark one.”

“Make it the medium dark, and it’s settled.”

You reached an agreement right as you were approaching the entrance of the sports centre, where some figure skaters you had grown familiar with over the years were gathering. Surprisingly, neither unpacking nor warming up.

“Are you guys all done already?” You asked them as you dashed towards your usual warm-up area. It was spacious and had a canopy that kept you dry in case it rained. “I didn’t realize we were late...” You earned Niall's judgmental stare with your sentence. He had been rushing you all morning, but you were sure you weren't that late. As far as your calculations were concerned, you were just in time for your first warm-up.

In days like these, it was always very tempting to skimp on the off the ice warm-ups and go straight to the rink, but with the championship right around the corner, neither you nor Niall would take that risk. Because although you also competed individually, it was as a pair that you really stood out. Your journey to nationals depended on you both, and you weren't going to jeopardize all that for being too lazy to stretch.

“Don’t bother starting.” One of the skaters, Natalia, intervened when she realized what the two of you were up to. “The Emperors booked early morning.” She clarified, upon noticing your perplexed looks.

“They did what-” You gasped, all the more startled.

“They can’t do that.” Niall said after you, and the look on his face was as distressed as yours. “They already take up most of the rink’s time!”

“When their stupid coach came we tried to tell him that, but he refused to listen. He didn't even pause- just walked straight through as if we weren't here.” The new skater jumped into the conversation. You hadn't officially met her yet, but you knew her name was Mei, a.k.a the girl Niall had been crushing on for weeks.

Redness engulfed his cheeks as soon as she looked his way, but he still managed to respond, albeit stutteringly. “Yeah, I'm not too surprised… Y/N’s ex plays on the team and he always used to say the guy was a moron.” You pointed out Niall’s oversharing by flashing him a chastising look, but he was too engrossed in Mei's beauty to notice your death stare.

You cleared your throat, now feeling a touch hot in the face too, before turning to the remainder of the group, “Have you spoken to couch Jo or Paul? Aren't they supposed to come teach the kids right after we leave?”

“Yeah.” Natalia sighed. “Apparently they’ve had to rescheduled some of the skating classes but nothing much. Basically it's fine for everyone but us.”

“So what time can we come now?” The Emperors could have taken your place, but surely they had to have left a gap somewhere.

“That’s the thing.” Mei explained. “There’s no time apart from the lessons we have with our coaches. A spot is available in the afternoon, but that's just not feasible for anyone.”

“What? No! How’s that even allowed?” Your question was hardly noticed by the other skaters as they were preparing to leave. "Wait- Where are all of you off to? We can’t just leave; have to solve this.”

“What do you propose we do, then?” Mei groaned. She was clearly on edge, as was everyone else in the group. “We’ve already tried. We won't get to solve anything right now, so staying here is a waste of time.” She grabbed her skating bag off the floor. “You can still try if you want, though. Didn’t you used to mess around with one of them? Maybe he could help.”

You scoffed as you watched Mei leave with the rest of the group, “Unbelievable...” You commented with Niall, only to find him looking at you like he agreed with her. "Oh no, not you siding with her. Are you kidding me?”

“I mean, she’s got a point…” As he went on, a goofy smile spread over his face. “I can't believe she actually spoke to me. This is crazy... and she’s even hotter up close…” Rolling your eyes, you started gathering both your bags in a tacit plea to leave. “Please, Y/N... can you go talk to him? I don't wanna stop seeing her now that she's speaking to us.”

You took a long, deep breath.

You really weren't in the mood to do all that, but unfortunately your ex happened to play team captain for the hockey team... so perhaps, if you could flip the tables and get him to be on your side, there was a small possibility his opinion could give you some advantage when it came to straightening everything out.

That was what you needed to remind yourself of.

There was a deeper purpose to this than Niall's desire to speak with Mei. It was important for everyone. None of you could afford to miss practice now that the championship was about to start. The time you spent practicing with your instructors was good but having time to skate freely every morning was critical.

“Fine. I'll go, but you’re coming with me.”

You had wanted Niall to come along for the emotional support, but that idea was quickly scrapped once the centre’s receptionist, who was acting a lot more standoffish than usual, refused to let you walk past the front desk.

It occurred to you that his behavior might have something to do with how Mei and the rest of the skaters handled that morning’s dreadful news. If that was the case, his mood was about to get worse because you were planning to bring up the issue as well… until Niall stepped in, “Oh, we're not here to skate. We’re here because my friend thinks she dropped her bracelet on her way out of the rink yesterday. We just wanted to see if we can find it.”

“I have orders not to let anyone in right now. If you want, you can come by after eight to look for it.” He answered monotonously, his gaze fixed on the computer screen.

“Ah, we have school at eight; we can't come at that time I'm afraid.” Niall’s revelation elicited no response. So, after a moment of awkward stares, you continued,

“If we don't go now, someone else might find and keep it.” The man’s expression told you that he thought you were being a nuisance, but you kept playing by Niall’s script and added, “The bracelet was a gift from my mother. It has a lot of sentimental value...”

Finally, just as you were beginning to lose hope, he sighed and said, “If it's just the bracelet you're looking for I'll let you go find it, but he stays.” His head motion indicated that he was referring to Niall.

“I’m sure it would be easier if we searched together...”

The man sat back with a sigh. “Look, it’s nothing personal. I'm simply doing what I've been told by one of the coaches after he got harassed by your little squad at the door… which is not to let anyone in the rink while the boys are there. I'm already making an exception for you when I shouldn't, so it’s either this or you'll come back later.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t been informed that the hockey coaches were now in charge of the place...” He ignored your provocation, but his gaze was drawn to the agitated tapping of your nails on the counter. “You know what, it's fine. I get it. I’ll be quick, oh- and don't worry, I'll be careful not to harass the local royalty while I’m there.”

You didn’t stick around for further verbal cues, just swiped your membership card, walked past the barrier and turned toward the rink. It was only after you got there that you realized how angry you were. Knowing that the hockey team was being treated like kings and given the freedom to do whatever and however they pleased with zero regard for anyone else was one of the most infuriating things you'd ever witnessed. It wasn't exactly surprising taken they always got prioritized for being the bigger sport, but they had never taken things this far before. This situation was ridiculous, and you weren't going to tolerate it.

So although you agreed to come speak with your ex, now you were actually hoping to speak directly with the coach instead. Maybe your efforts were in vain, but you had to, at least, try to get your point across. There was only one problem - he was nowhere to be found, and you didn’t know anyone else on the team well enough to ask on his whereabouts.

Speaking of the team, the guys were dressed in practice gear, which was far more basic than their game jersey’s, but still had the same colors of red and gold. You assumed they hadn't started properly training yet, as they were still warming up with crossovers and pivots.

Among the many broad-shouldered athletes there, your eyes were immediately drawn to the player whose number you knew best: 77.

Not that you’d ever need a number to identify him.

Even with hockey armor covering his frame, you knew his body’s contours like the back of your hand. Picturing the tousled curls hidden under his helmet, the green of his eyes, and the curvature of his lips was easy. A little too easy.

“Styles,”

He turned when he heard your voice. His eyes were obscured by the visor, but you could swear you saw his brows quirk. “Y/N,” He didn't look too surprised by your presence. In fact, he looked more amused at you yelling his name than at you being there.

After a few seconds of skating by he came closer, and as he stopped next to the board, his skates scratched the ice a little too harshly for someone who wasn't aiming to make a spectacle of himself. You weren't wowed by his effort. You could execute that same slide better and with greater polish if you wanted to.

“Where’s your coach? I’d like to have a word…”

He signaled the rooms on the top level with his head. “Up there in a meeting. Why, what do you want from him?”

“Not that it's any of your business but it looks like there’s an issue with the rink’s scheduling.”

You saw the grin he was trying to hide. “Oh, what’s that?”

“The skaters had it for 6am, as usual.” You attempted to highlight. “Ergo, you shouldn't be here.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes, we did.”

“I don't think we would be here if you had booked it, would we? If we took the spot, it was because it was available.”

“Well yeah, because we’ve never had to book it - because we had a spoken agreement and we’ve always followed through on it.” He didn't respond, nor did he appear very willing to engage in the conversation you were trying to have. “Are you listening to me?”

“I am,” His voice felt harsh and didn't quite fit the easy stance he showed as he shrugged. “I'm just not sure of what you want me to say – I’m sorry? Does that make you feel any better?”

His cynical tone didn't sit well in your stomach, but your face didn’t let that show. “Okay, look - I get it. You’re in the league and you need to practice, but that doesn’t give you the right to take early mornings from us. It's only two hours out of the entire day, couldn't you just let us keep them?”

He appeared somewhat bored by your approach, but not completely. His facial expression had an edge to it. He was irritated. “It wasn’t me who made the call. If you want to lash out at someone, try the guy at the front-desk or whatever. I can't help you.”

He was really starting to piss you off, but worse than that, there was a part of you that was getting legitimately hurt by his indifference. He used to be one of your biggest supporters, and now it was like he simply didn't care. “Even if it wasn't you who made the decision, you knew better than anybody that this would disrupt our practice and you still didn't say anything.”

“Why would I? Wasn't it you who just said it's none of my business? If you have an issue, it’s your place to handle it - not mine.”

“Harry, your stupid team already takes up most of the rink’s time! Our qualifying season starts in two weeks, we need to practice.”

“Well, I'm not sure if the news has reached your self-centered little world yet but our season has already started, and we have big games coming up. So sorry to break it to you but we're going to take all the extra rink time we can get.”

“Not unless I can’t do something about it.” Your implied threat was meaningless. You had no plan whatsoever... apart from the original one to get on Harry’s good side, which had just been blown. You'd figure something out though, anything to ensure they wouldn't get their way. “You’ll have to go through me first.”

He got closer, coming right up to your face as he leaned over the border and uttered one last, quiet “Gladly,” before skating away to rejoin his team.

The bleachers were packed by screaming fans in replica shirts.

The big day had come. The Emperors were playing their first home game of the season and as the concentration of bodies suggested, a considerable portion of people had come out to witness it firsthand… including you and Niall.

After what the fuckers had done to you, you almost felt like a traitor for showing up to their game. However, you had purchased tickets weeks ago and since you had spent the money, you figured you might as well come and root for them to lose. That worked for a while, until they actually started losing.

As soon as the visiting team scored a goal, it became impossible to disguise who your heart was really rooting for. The Emperors were jackasses, that was beyond dispute, but they were the local team and it was hard to cheer for strangers when the other players were people you had “known” for years.

“You haven’t touched your pretzel…”

Niall's comment drew your gaze away from the game for a millisecond. “I don’t want it right now, I’m not hungry.” Your reply came out garbled due to the way your cheeks were getting smothered between your hands.

“It’s gonna go cold if you don’t eat it now...”

“You’re right. Here- you can have it.”

“You sure?” His hesitant smile expanded when he heard a fragmented “Yes” fall from your mouth. The “Thanks,” that followed was mumbled around a large bite. “Oh man, this is nothing like the hot dogs they sell here.” He chewed as he spoke, “Have you ever had one? They always put sauerkraut on them and it’s like, who even likes sauerkraut that much, you know what I mean?”

“Mhm,” you hummed again, eyes fixed on the local team captain and the player battling him for the puck. "Get off his ass, shithead." you blurted as another player floated over and pushed him against the board. It was the same player who kept harassing him throughout the first two frames of the game. There had already been insults, menacing stares, and provoking shoves exchanged. This wasn’t going to end well.

“You know you don’t have to do that anymore, don’t you?” Niall asked after a lengthy pause in conversation, what caught you off guard.

“Don’t have to do what? Eat sauerkraut?” You questioned back, a little confused.

“Get nervous for the games.” He clarified, which sort of took you by surprise. You weren't aware that your feelings were showing that clearly. “Since, you know… you and Styles aren’t a thing anymore and all. You don’t have to get all anxious over him.”

Your focus immediately diverted from the rink as a result of Niall’s remark. “This isn’t about him, Niall. It’s about the game- I want us to win.”

“Uh huh… because of your deep love for hockey, I assume.” His face lit up with laughter. “Not any of the players in particular, just the sport itself.”

“Shut up- Oh, that son of a... oh, great! Now he's starting a fight...” You muttered inwardly once you saw Harry's gloves hit the ice first, followed by the other player's.

The initial strikes to the head sent the helmets flying. Thereafter, it was all direct blows. The two boys faced each other angrily as they dodged and struck each other with bare hands and faces. The crowd roared loudly as the violence between the two players increased. “God, I hate when they fight.” You admitted, despite it being nothing new. “Why does it always take the referees so long to split them?”

“Ah, well, you know that's how the game works. The crowd loves it.”

“No, I know that but… it’s barbaric.”

The other player’s left hand was gripping Harry's jersey as if he was going to rip it apart, while the right continued to strike jabs in his stomach. But Harry didn't cut loose; he whacked him with the same force. They both went down, and just like that there was blood on the ice. A laceration over Harry's eyebrow had resulted in what looked like a crimson mask covering his face, most likely caused by his helmet’s visor as it leapt out of his head.

As the boys hit the floor the referees finally intervened and broke up the fight.

But the two were back on the ice as if nothing had happened after spending five minutes in the penalty box. Harry’s cut was no longer bleeding, but the bloodied towel he left behind served as a solid memento.

“I swear my Nan is more flexible than you.” You teased Niall as he tried to strike the mermaid pose. He was struggling, so his tongue was sticking out.

“You can't compare your Nan's yoga to mine. She's been doing it for longer than I've been alive!” He grumbled as he attempted to move his elbow to the proper position by imitating your posture. “I’ll have you know though, that I've never had any complaints on my flexibility before. In fact, it’s what I usually get the most compliments on aside from my-”

“Shhhh.” You were shushed by the yoga instructor for speaking over the soothing music.

You had never taken a yoga class before but considering your time on the rink had been compromised, you figured it might be a good idea to give it a shot since it still allowed you to practice your balance and flexibility.

You'd gotten cocky and chosen advanced yoga, assuming it wouldn't be too difficult to keep up given your figure skating background. Big, big mistake. You were living it up at first… however, as the class progressed and poses like 'the crow' and 'the flying pigeon' began to appear, you found yourselves admiring everyone rather than trying to keep up.

As a result, you were only doing the same five poses over and over, which got boring really quick. Besides, you weren’t even mastering the intermediate ones... as Niall was struggling with flexibility, while you were having trouble with all the arm strength exercises. That was when you started to get chatty, even though you were well aware that it wasn't appropriate.

You'd already been told to be quiet twice, so when your phone went off in the middle of class you didn't hesitate to roll up your mats and leave, figuring you had already caused enough disturbance.

“We'll never be allowed back there again...” Niall remarked on the way to the locker rooms. “Did you see how she looked at us when your phone rang? That wasn’t very Yin and Yang of her…”

“Well… to be fair, we were being incredibly rude...” You checked your phone for the notification you had received during class. “Speaking of rude, you won't believe who was texting me just now…”

“Who?” He realized who you were referring to when you made a face and pointed your head toward the rink. The yoga classes were held in the same section, the one dedicated to indoor sports. Despite being on opposite ends, you knew the hockey team was there because you had passed by and heard them. “No way... are you serious? What did he say? Does it have anything to do with the rink?”

“He didn't say... just asked if I could meet him at that cafe we used to go to after class. He says it’s urgent.”

“Do you need a ride? I can drop you off on the way back from class; it's close by.”

“No, don't worry. I end class earlier than you today, so I can take the shuttle like I used to.” You were guessing Harry had remembered you had a similar school schedule on Fridays, which is why he didn't bother telling you a time. He knew you would be there by 3pm... supposedly. “I don’t know if I’m going, though… I don’t know what he wants.”

“Yes you are.” Niall asserted, as if the idea of you not going was the most insane thing ever. “What if it’s something to do the rink?”

“What if it’s nothing to do with the rink?”

“No, come on… it has to have something to do with it.” He insisted. “I know you want to go; you're just nervous about seeing him.”

“No, the only reason why I am nervous is because he isn’t telling me what he wants. It's weird.”

Niall paused for a moment as you reached the door for the women’s locker rooms. His face let you know he was debating whether or not to tell you what was on his mind. He decided to do so. “It's obviously up to you whether you go or not, but if I were you I’d go just to see what he wants. You don't have to sit there all afternoon if you don't want to... and if things get too awkward, you can text me and I'll show up there to save you.”

“Right.” You replied even though you knew it wasn't the most appropriate answer.

You realized it would be stupid not to go knowing it could be about the rink. There was a good chance it was, which was supposed to get you excited, but in reality was doing the exact opposite. Selfishly, you wanted this to be about you and nothing else.

As petty as it sounds, you wanted to get there and hear Harry admit that he missed you, that karma had gotten him good, or something else that made you feel like your suffering had been worthwhile even if you were never getting back together. That was why you were afraid to go… because you would be disappointed if he looked as fine as he did last time.

“Does that mean you're going?” Niall asked, cutting through the pitiful thoughts racing through your mind.

You chewed on your lower lip. “I guess.”

You saw him as soon as you walked into the cafe.

He was sitting alone, but there was a girl “standing” next to his table. To refer to that as plain standing would be inaccurate. You knew what she was doing, and most of all you knew what for.

She was showcasing the best she had to offer. That was why her hips were pushed back, and her gut was pinched so firmly.

She fixed her hair over her shoulder, and you got a glimpse of her face. She was hot enough to get you to stand up straighter, but not to make you wonder if you should have spent more time getting ready before coming.

You stayed back and waited for their interaction to be over. For you, this was nothing new. You’d grown so used to watching girls fawning over him that it rarely made you jealous anymore, despite it always being slightly unpleasant to witness.

The bright side was that experience taught you when to worry… and now wasn't the time.

She appeared to be asking a question about game tickets, but you could tell by the look on Harry's face that he wasn't all that interested in chatting with her. He looked like he wanted to be left alone. He was doing that thing that he used to do when random people approached him back when you were together - he smiled politely but barely said a word.

It took the girl some time to catch on, but eventually she got the hint. He wasn’t interested, and no amount of flashing her cleavage would change his mind. She stepped away, and you took it as your cue to walk over.

“Hey.” You greeted as you got to the table, hurrying to remove your scarf and jacket before you took the chair facing Harry’s. Not that there was any other option to pick, anyway.

“Hi.” He smiled slightly, before pushing one of the coffee cups on the table towards you. “I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and ordered you a drink...”

His gesture brought you back to memories frozen in time, but you didn't allow yourself to linger on them too long. You and Harry used to meet at this coffee shop all the time. In fact, it was once one of your favorite places in town but being here now only brought back sensations you'd rather avoid. Still, for the sake of politeness, you accepted his drink. “Oh, um… thanks. You didn't have to get me anything...”

“I know I didn’t.” He took a sip of his cup, and you impulsively mimicked his action. The coffee which used to taste like love, suddenly seemed almost too dull to drink. “You still like those, right?”

You wondered if he had noticed your grimace. “Yeah, it's what I always used to get from here. I'm surprised you remember…”

“I guess I haven't had enough time to forget most things about you yet.” A twinge of discomfort shot through your chest at his words. You suspect he caused it on purpose. “I have a sharp memory.”

“I'm not sure that'll last if you keep hitting your head like that.” Your point was lost on him, which kind of made you regret making it in the first place. “You've got a bruise… on your...”

“Oh, that.” He tried to mask it with a quick ruffle of his hair, but you could still see it. “That's nothing, forget about it.”

“I wouldn't exactly call it nothing, when-”

“I didn’t ask you to come here to talk about that.” He intervened before you finished. “There’s something I need from you.” He admitted, crossing his arms over the table.

“'All right then, what is it?”

“That jersey I gave you, do you still have it?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I need it back.” His request caught you completely off guard. Your mouth opened and tried to speak, but nothing came out. “Mine got ripped and the spare I gave you is the only one I have left.”

When you finally spoke, it was quickly and angrily. “I'm not giving it back.” You said, and Harry let out a groan. “You never mentioned I was only allowed to keep it until you needed it back. It looked like a gift to me.”

Another sigh followed, this time deeper and more frustrated. “That’s because it was a gift… but now I need it, and I'm pretty sure you're not wearing it, so what difference does it make?”

You crossed your arms and shook your head. “You can't ask for gifts back, that's nasty.”

Why, of all things, did he have to ask you to give back his jersey? It was the most special gift he had ever given you. And now just because he never got to see you wear it, it automatically meant you didn't care for it?

That was simply not true!

Behind closed doors, his jersey was still a favorite.

Frankly, the only reason why you stopped wearing it during games was because you thought it would be demeaning not to. It would have been weird for everyone, plus you didn't think Harry would appreciate you walking around with his number on your back when you weren't together anymore.

Not that people thinking he had a girlfriend would have been enough to keep any hookups from happening if he wanted them to. When it came to Harry, it seemed nothing was ever enough to discourage girls from trying their luck. It wasn't just because he played on the hockey team. That was a bonus, but it was insignificant compared to the rest. His looks, his character, his sense of humor… from the surface, Harry looked like a catch, and finding that he was everything but, hurt. You still loved him, so it hurt. You hated how it all still hurt.

“I'm not asking for any of the other stuff back. I'm asking for my jersey because I desperately need it; else, I wouldn't be asking.” He explained as you sat there, feeling your chest squeeze as you half-listened to his reasoning. “Please Y/N, this is sort of critical for me.”

His slightly pouted lips suggested that he had also not forgotten how to sneak his way inside your heart. It wasn't a difficult task, but it was aggravating how well it still worked.

The worst part is that he didn't even do it on purpose; it was just the way his face looked whenever he wanted something and was told no. It was the same face that managed to get your panties to come off that one time right before a game, despite your fear of getting caught.

“Fine. I'll give your stupid jersey back,” When he smiled in relief, you halted your words, but only for a moment. “Under one condition.” His nostrils flared as he took a long breath, gearing himself up for what you were about to say next. “You'll have to convince your coach to give us our ice time back, otherwise you can forget it.”

“Y/N, can we not do this right now, please? I already told you that I had nothing to do with that shit.”

Harry’s reaction left you feeling oddly disappointed. Not angry, but close to it. That was when you realized you had made the same mistake again. You had been expecting him to be concerned, or at least to act as if he cared. It wasn't his job to care. It wasn't his job to make sure you were happy.

Nonetheless, Harry could still be the key to getting what you wanted.

It didn't feel good to have to coax him into backing you, but it was your duty to do so for Niall and the rest of the skaters. The hockey team had crossed a line, and if this was the only way to stop them, so be it.

He might not be thrilled to help you, but he had the means to do so. If he wanted to get a favor, he would have to do one for you as well. In the end, it was only fair.

“I believe you, but you're the team captain, and I know he'll listen to you.” You took another sip of the coffee you had almost forgotten was there. “I'm only taking a favor for a favor… sounds pretty reasonable to me.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. I’ll see what I can do.”

You cocked a brow at his reaction. “That's not enough. If I can't see any improvements, the deal is off.”

Harry stretched in his chair, crossing his arms behind his neck while he mused. “That's called extortion, you know? It’s a felony.”

Your lips curled as you snorted at his remark. “It's not my fault you got in a fight and need a new jersey; I'm simply taking advantage of the circumstances. Besides, you aren't so innocent yourself... or did you think I couldn’t tell you were trying to butter me up earlier by getting me my favorite drink?”

Harry’s eyes widened with what looked to be confusion and amusement... and perhaps even a little happiness. “You were at the game?”

Your face got warm. “Oh, uh… yeah. I went with Niall. He likes watching sports, so...”

“Ha, I see...” His face turned expressionless. “You're wrong about your drink, by the way... I wasn’t trying to butter you up, I just thought it'd be a nice gesture.”

“Yeah, I guess...” You smiled a bit, before deciding to congratulate him on his team's victory. “You played well yesterday. Everyone went crazy when you scored that goal at the end.” The moment you finished talking, you noticed Harry was slouching in his chair, just staring at you. It was almost trance-like, the way his eyes weren’t able to stop smiling. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” He asked, but then in a sudden move, he got up, picked up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “I have to get going. I've got homework.”

You didn't really buy his excuse, but you also didn’t question it since you knew he wouldn't tell you whatever it was that was on his mind. “Yeah, okay.” You said instead, despite your enquiring face. “I guess I’ll see you...”

“Tuesday.” He completed. “I'm not sure what time yet, but I'll let you know.”

He was gone in an instant, leaving you alone with nothing but two unfinished cups of sad, tasteless coffee to keep you company.

Tuesday came by quickly.

Amidst the week's rush of lectures at university, runs and yoga classes with Niall, as well as preparations for the championship, you barely registered the days passing by.

As far as your agreement with Harry goes, you knew he had kept true to his word since there were no hulking hockey players in sight that day when you got to the rink.

Given that you had agreed on Tuesday, you didn't bother getting up early the mornings before to check on the rink's availability... and considering that you had the schedule for it over the weekend, you ended up booking that open spot in the afternoon right after lunch for free skating, even though it wasn't the most ideal.

The return to the ice on Tuesday morning, however, was a welcome relief.

The weather was peaceful… the ice was fresh, and you and Niall were able to make progress on a tricky jump that had been giving you the willies as of lately. It wasn’t perfect yet, but at least by the end of the morning you no longer felt like you were putting Niall through the danger of getting a neck fracture every time you leapt onto his shoulders.

Later that day, you met with your choreographer and he too noticed a positive shift in your performance. Having barely been on the ice over the week other than with your instructors, the shift was somewhat surprising... but it also made sense to an extent, since the break had allowed you to focus on other forms of training that you normally considered supplementary – like practicing balance and endurance.

After your choreography lesson, Niall invited you to go to the mall with him.

He wanted to check out a new tech store that had opened there, and since you had nothing better to do than finish the schoolwork you were procrastinating on, you accepted his invitation.

It was a fun afternoon, though you ended up spending much longer than you’d originally planned just browsing around. You barely noticed the hours passing, which was mostly Niall's fault because he had this extraordinary ability to beguile people with conversation topics that were seemingly random but made for weirdly interesting discussions.

His conversation starters almost always initiated with “Have you ever thought about...” and then something crazy would follow. It was impossible to stop the tangents after that, especially if he happened to touch on a subject that you considered to be interesting too. When that was the case, the two of you would just go on and on like a never-ending pit.

This happened several times that noon.

So, despite having been anxious as hell for the better part of the day knowing you’d be meeting up with Harry later, the whole thing had almost slipped your mind by the time he texted you asking if you'd at the centre soon.

“Shit.” You muttered while replying to his message saying you were on your way. “Can you drive me to the sports centre? I need to get something to Harry and I'm too late to walk there.”

“Yeah, sure.” Niall said as you began making your way to the escalator that took you to the underground parking lot. It had become less crowded since you arrived, so finding the car wasn't too difficult. “So what’s going, you’ve been talking with him again?”

“Nothing is going on. I told you about him asking for his jersey back. I'm surprised you forgot…”

“Ah! True, true.” He responded as he climbed into the driver's seat. “I just wanted to ask if there was anything else besides that. I know you aren't fully over him yet, which is understandable, but...” He paused, then let out a sigh. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I don't want my friend to end up in the same position again if you get what I mean.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” You leaned back in your seat and stared out the window. “But don't worry, that's not going to happen. It's pretty obvious he doesn't like me, but even if he did…well, as the saying puts it… once bitten, twice shy.”

You talked about something lighter the rest of the way there. Niall wasn’t the type to bring up uncomfortable topics or force you to talk when you didn't feel like it. He usually just listened when you shared, which was good. He still gave his advice if you asked for it, but when it came to your situation with Harry, that wasn't what you needed, and he was aware of that.

What you needed was a friend that respected your decisions, but still cared about your well-being at the same time. A friend who understood you'd want to go meet your ex on your own but still offered to wait and give you a ride home afterward, so you didn’t have to walk alone at night.

The next day, the hockey team was playing outside of town, so there was a big, tall bus parked at the back of the sports centre.. and a shadowy man standing right next to it. The sky had already darkened so it was hard to see, especially on the side he was on, which wasn't getting bathed by the centre’s lights like the opposite one was.

Logically, you knew it must be Harry, but you didn't want to get too close without being sure. It could be the bus driver, or someone who happened to be there for something else. So instead of walking over, you stood at a reasonable distance and cast a wide-eyed glance in all directions, before lowering your gaze to your phone screen to text Harry letting him know you were outside.

But before you could send him anything, you were startled by his voice. “You can come over here, I don’t bite.”

You hoped the nighttime blindness worked both ways because you had jumped a little with the scare, which had to have looked a little stupid. “Oh, it is you! I couldn't tell from back there… it’s er…dark.”

If he saw you jump, he didn’t acknowledge it, instead he asked, “Did you walk all the way here by yourself?”

He seemed concerned that you had, which gave you a warm feeling in your belly. You didn't know what to make of it. “Oh, no. I was at the mall with Niall when you called so, he drove me. He’s parked at the front.”

“Hm.” Harry grunted dryly, which sparked a little awkward pause until he finally asked the dreaded question, “Do you have the jersey?”

“Oh yeah- one second... it's in my bag.” You smiled stiffly before you started rummaging around for it. “I’m not the best at doing laundry so the color might have gotten bit worn off from the washer, I hope that’s not an issue.”

“That’s fine.” He tossed the jersey over his shoulder, disregarding how neatly you'd folded it. “Thanks.”

“Okay, um… you must be pressed for time, so…”

“Not necessarily.” You found the coldness in his voice upsetting, and you couldn't figure out why he was stalling you when he obviously wasn't delighted to see you. “So how’s the situation with the rink, did it all work out?”

“It did.” It was a brief response, but you didn't feel like standing there chit-chatting just for the sake of it. “Thanks, for helping and… I guess for asking too.”

“Don’t thank me.” He said it brusquely, which irritated you even more. “Okay, um… I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Yeah, that.” You curled your lips in a weak smile, and Harry did the same before setting out to go back inside the building. Sadly, upon watching him leave, you couldn't resist calling his name to see his face again. “Hey, Harry-” His head jerked back at the sound. “Have a good game tomorrow. I hope you win!”

He looked like he was about to look away, but he didn’t. Instead, he returned your gaze, as though he was contemplating something. There was a strange glint in his eyes, and it lingered there as he began walking back towards you. And then, wordlessly, swiftly and without a warning, his hands reached for your face… and his lips reached for a kiss.

You squeaked in surprise at the feeling, but that was all there was to it. After Harry’s lips' familiar texture took over, there wasn't much room left for surprises. His body steered yours backwards against the side of the bus, sheltering you from any curious eyes peering through the windows above. “Harry, what-”

“Stop talking,” He muttered against your lips, still laying kisses in between. “I know it's messed up but if we both keep quiet, no one has to know it happened.”

Your throat was itching to respond, but his kissing made your head blurry. His mouth lowered to taste your neck, kissing every inch of skin it swept by. Then, just when you thought it couldn't be any better, his tongue slipped out and found a spot that had you gasping quietly.

The touch of his body was setting yours on fire, reviving it in a way it hadn't been in ages. Your kisses grew hotter and heavier, and before either of you could pause and wonder if this was right, Harry was already fumbling with the button of your jeans - and you were letting him.

“Do you still think of my hands?” You could feel the warmth of his words on your skin as his fingers slid in. His pace was slow, almost too slow, as if he was enjoying listening to the eagerness of your heartbeats. “I think of yours most times; whenever I play with myself, it’s always you… your hands... your mouth... your pussy…”

You both moaned as Harry reached the hot spot hidden beneath your panties. He rubbed a bit around it, in slow and steady circles. “I’ve always loved how fast it reacts to my touch… it gets so wet and creamy, and your clit… fuck, ‘s all puffy and twitchy…” His fingers pressed harder on it, stroking more firmly.

And shit, you were getting there already. So, so close that your entire body was twitching uncontrollably against his. “Please… d-don’t stop.”

“Already? Fuck baby… you haven't been giving it the proper attention lately, have you?” You shook your head in response to his question. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you had gotten to that point, but Harry was right; you hadn't had an orgasm in a while… and of course, he could tell. “I'm not gonna lie, I already suspected that she wasn't being well taken care of, but shit... that's just disgraceful, isn't it?”

You could hardly gather the strength to answer him. The only sound you could muster were a few high-pitched "mhmms" that were muffled against his neck. You groaned when he pushed his fingers in and pierced through your hymen a little too briskly. “Still?”

You felt a little offended by how surprised he sounded but acknowledged his question with a nod. “It’s okay, just breathe…” He whispered softly into your jaw as his motions became gentler.

This wasn’t the first time Harry had used his fingers on you, but usually it was more the outside bits that he focused on. He loved giving oral, so you did a lot of that… the fingering thing only came later once you started having conversations about him taking your virginity. If it were up to you, you’d no longer have it, but Harry had wanted to take things slow. He knew your mind was prepared, but he had wanted to make sure your body was too… just so the experience was painless and pleasurable for both, and not just for him.

The stretching burn you were feeling eased after a while. It still stinged a little, but it wasn’t a bad type of feeling. Slowly but surely, it was transforming into a different type of heat, the kind that spread through your abdomen and got you to spasm around Harry’s fingertips.

He was going to make you cum if he kept on doing what he was doing…

Which he didn't.

He stopped right before you got there.

You stared up at him in confusion, right before you started glancing around to make sure no one was walking out of one of the buildings or approaching the bus. “What- what happened? Why did you stop?”

“Stop with what, hm?” That feeling of disorientation pervaded your mind for a moment, but reality set in once he started re-tucking your jeans back into place with a self-satisfied smile on his lips.

This was it.

He was done.

“That was a cute little warm up, wasn't it?” He shamelessly asked as he zipped up your fly. “It's a shame it had to end so abruptly… you seemed to be enjoying yourself... but don't get me wrong, this has been good fun for me too.”

With nothing to say or do, you just stood there astounded. You were torn between sobbing out of frustration, seeking an explanation, and simply leaving without uttering another word. It wasn't like whatever decision you made mattered anyway since none of those options would accomplish you anything.

The mess had already been made.

You shouldn't have allowed this to happen, and shouldn't have enjoyed it, but you did. It would have been much smarter to put a stop to things right the moment Harry kissed you but, despite the circumstances, you couldn't bring yourself to do it… and now, after everything he'd already done, he was ridiculing you.

When you looked at him again, you noticed that all of the traces of humor that had been gracing his features had dissipated. His gaze felt like steel, harsh and bitterly cold. “You should go. Niall's waiting for you, remember?”

His chest got shoved back by your clasped fists. “You’re an asshole!”

He tried to grab your wrists, but you shoved his chest again. It was enough to make him back down, although he still managed to get a hold of your arm. He used that to keep you from leaving. “I may be.” He spoke right in your ear. “Now you know what it feels like to be left stranded. I hope you fucking liked it as much as I fucking did.”

PART 2

1K notes · View notes

radiant-reid · 1 year

Note

my sweet darling, how are you?? i hope you’re having a nice weekend so far! can i pls request a spencer piece where maybe they haven’t been intimate for a while (because they’re busy & life be life-ing, ORRR bonus: underlying angsty reasons👀) & one night they come home late after a case & spence needs to remind her of how good he can make her feel;))) & make is smutty pls & thank you if ya don’t mind, i woke up horny today ahahah

take care hun🫶🏻

thank you for this request !

Working at the BAU takes everything out of you. You wouldn't have it any other way, but it's difficult some days. Finishing a case is usually alleviating, knowing you've brought families closure and stopped a killer from killing. This time, it doesn't feel like that.

It might be that getting home doesn't feel warm like usual. It's cold, and you're sure the weird distance between you and Spencer is why. You've been out of sync with him before, but never as bad as lately. There's no anger or arguments, you just feel far away from him.

"I'm going to shower." You tell him, keeping your gaze fixed on the floor.

"Want something to eat?" He asks, tapping his fingers on the bench.

You shake your head, still not looking up at him. "No." You answer. "Thank you."

You turn back to look at him, watching as he takes books out of his satchel and puts them back on the bookshelf for a moment. You should just walk over there and kiss him, end whatever's going on. What you don't see are the gears turning in his head as he thinks about what to say.

You turn the water on, stripping as you wait for it to warm up. The warm water cascading over you is heavenly, soothing your tired muscles. You're so relaxed you don't notice Spencer opening the bathroom door and undressing.

When he steps into the shower, you gasp in surprise. "What are you-"

He places his hand over your mouth, stopping you from talking. "I love you. You need to know that." The passion pours off him, and his sudden declaration is full of his usual affection.

It makes your heart flutter in your chest. "I do know that." You say when he takes his hand away. "And I love you."

He kisses you as passionately as he spoke, cupping your cheeks and smashing his lips onto yours. It's everything you've been craving after two weeks of pecks.

You press your palms against his chest, fingers gliding over his skin. He backs you up against the steamed glass, and his lips break from yours to kiss down your neck.

Your head falls back, giving him more access to your soft skin as your fingers tangle in his hair. "Fuck, Spence." You moan.

His hand moves to your waist, keeping your hips tight against his where you can feel how hard he is. "Wanna do this here?" He offers, breath hot against your neck.

You nod quickly. "Need you right now." You confirm.

He groans at your answer, quickly picking you up and holding you against the glass. You squirm in his grip, trying to get yourself lined up with his cock.

The synced moans as you slide onto his cock confirm you're both experiencing the same divine feeling. "How'd you feel more amazing each time?" He chokes out.

"It always feels-fuck- amazing when it's us." You remind him, biting down on his shoulder. It drives him crazy, and it's enough to have him moving you to an angle where he can thrust into you, his hips grinding against yours.

His thrusts are sloppy, and the position is awkward as he tries to not slip over but you don't care. Not when it feels so good and you feel close to him again. His hands touch your skin just about everywhere, needing to feel you, and you keep your arms wrapped around his shoulder to stabilize yourself while your fingers tug on his curls and leave scratch marks on his back.

It doesn't take long, it's been so much longer than usual and you're both so desperate that you cum around him seconds before he cums in you, both repeating your love for each other again and again.

He holds you there for another moment while you both come down from your highs before delicately letting you down. "Hi." He says, pushing your wet hair away from your face and brushing his nose against yours.

"Hey." You say, smiling softly at him.

"To bed?" He offers.

You nod sleepily. "I want all-night cuddles as well."

Spencer chuckles softly, kissing your forehead. "What you want, you shall have."

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds smut

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catherinnn · 5 months

Text

"Slut!" (Bad Omens part II)

Summary: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar!reader. Despite what happened with Rudy, you and Eddie break up again to protect the band. Eddie moves onto a new relationship, but history repeats itself, causing strain within the group. Frustrated with the pattern, your bandmates threaten the future of the band. To add insult to injury, you're labeled as the "slut", with all blame directed your way —or so it’s claimed. Warnings: cheating, slut-shaming, a little smutty, a little angsty, a little fluffy, jealousy, mentions of Steddie x reader, y/n is used like two times sorry, I use a taylor song as if it’s corroded coffin’s so imagine it like rock, fighting, drinking, language Words: 7.1k a/n: please know that eddie is cheating on his girlfriend here, and it’s a happy ending for reader and eds, so if you don’t like that don’t read it. Also, this is like my fifth fic where there’s cheating I don’t know how to defend myself here, I promise I completely hate this irl, it’s just hot to write :)

part I: Bad Omens

Megan.

Eddie’s new girl.

Or as the headlines say: Eddie Munson’s New Hot Model Girlfriend.

Yes, she’s a model! Not a Victoria’s Secret model, thank God, that would be just what you needed to kill yourself.

She’s not actually “new” anymore, it has been a year already. Even a whole album in the middle, “kiss”. The one where you had to kiss Eddie on the mouth for the cover of it, that’s what everybody seems to care about anyway.

That’s not actually the cover though, it’s just Eddie sat on a chair covered in lipstick stains all over his face, neck and shirt. Then you with Gareth and Jeff behind him, each of you with a different lipstick color: you with red, Jeff with maroon, and Gareth with purple. Eddie has kisses of all those three colors all over him, but the one on the lips was red.

Anyway, they started dating over a year now. It was literal hell for you, watching her wait for him after shows in the backstage and once you go back there after finishing, watching her jump on him to congratulate him, watching them kiss, watching them dance at parties, her sitting on his lap all the time, listening to his god-awful comments or jokes with double meaning about what they did last night. But it was nothing, you two were just bandmates, best friends, he was to you just like what Gareth or Jeff were to you, the brothers you never had, right?

Only you’ve never kissed Gareth, nor Jeff. But you did kiss Eddie before, you’ve had sex with him, for God’s sake!

But you two are just friends, all the flirting is just for show. Or that’s what Eddie keeps telling Megan.

You’ve never had a friendship where you got mad at them for making out with their own girlfriend in front of you, and them actually saying sorry. But that actually happened between you and Eddie, he even dropped to his knees asking for you to forgive him, not having to give it a double thought as for why you were so jealous over her. You both knew. You just couldn’t do anything about it. That would put the band in too much danger, and the band came first, always.

But thanks to that little jealousy scene Eddie had to call Steve, who had told you he lost his job recently and was trying to figure out what to do with his life next, he was in no rush though, his family was filthy rich, so he could take all the time he needed. You had the amazing idea to invite him over for the rest of the tour, sort of like a little groupie of yours. You’ve had your short history with Steve the tour before this one, and also a shorter history involving you, Steve and Eddie, but that was before he got his own girlfriend.

Steve stayed touring with you guys all over Europe, but as you got back to the United States, Steve decided it was time to go back to his own life. You were sad obviously, understanding him but missing him nonetheless, it wasn’t like you two were much of a serious couple, again he was there as a groupie of the band’s lead singer. But he helped a lot as a distraction to forget about Eddie and Megan. And he obviously became someone important for whom you cared a lot.

Nowadays, it has been a few months since Steve left you guys, you were touring North America now. Megan couldn’t always be with you, she had to go back to LA for time to time to keep modelling, but she always flew to wherever you guys were to keep seeing Eddie.

She wasn’t with you guys currently, you were in New York having sold out two consecutive weekends, six nights in total that you were playing just in NY. You still had two more nights to end weekend one, but you still had a whole other week here. Next stop was LA.

The show was incredible, crowd went crazy as usual, and you all had an amazing night. With all that energy still in you, you guys went to an after party, and drank a lot to celebrate.

“Oh, there you are” Eddie says after he went to get more shots to do with you.

“Here I am”

“Ready for more?” Eddie asks and you nod.

“Always”

“Come here pretty girl” he demands and you both know that with that nickname you’ll do anything he asks for. “Open up” he orders right after holding you closer by the waist—and god you love the feeling of his hands on you. You open your mouth and he pours the liquid that was on the tiny cup, you swallow quickly and cringe at the strong taste of alcohol. “Good girl”

“It’s your turn now” you remind him.

“You wanna do it to me now?” he offers and you nod. He kneels in front of you, since he’s so much taller than you, so you can pour the cup into his mouth easily. You grin at the sight before you, Eddie on his knees, hands on your thighs now and his mouth wide open waiting for you, eyes locked on yours. You start pouring the liquid and he swallows it as if it was water.

“Good boy” you tease him back and he smirks.

He gets up not so smoothly this time, since he kind of stumbles almost falling onto you. He’s way closer now, eyes not leaving yours as if he’s mesmerized. “Hi”

“Hi” you giggle.

“You look really beautiful tonight” he whispers as if he was just thinking out loud.

“Yeah, I do?” you tease but he nods anyway.

“Yeah, and you were amazing tonight, so good, you’re always so good on stage” he keeps whispering.

“Thank you Eddie, you were amazing too,” you tell him, “and just between you and I… you always look so hot performing, playing guitar so I can sing with you…”

“Wanna kiss you” he practically whimpers getting so close to your lips they’re almost touching.

“Do it” you whisper on his mouth. You weren’t thinking, neither of you two was.

So he kisses you, his hand goes up to your hair and pulls you the centimetre closer that was left for your lips to touch. The kiss is passionate, hard, just what you two needed from each other. His hot tongue on your mouth make you sigh and instantly your tongue starts dancing with his. Your hands go to his hair to pull on it and he groans into your mouth. His hands go to your hips and he pulls you closer, you can feel the bulge in his pants against your tummy, and it turns you on even more.

“I need you baby” he says separating for a second just to keep kissing you.

“Need you too Eds” you whimper.

“Fuck-“ he takes a big breath an turns back to you. “Let’s go back to the hotel, please?”

You nod without even thinking twice about it.

“There’s still a few paps outside” he warns you, “ you go out first, I’ll be right behind you, we don’t want them to see this, right?” he signals his crotch and a chuckle escapes from your lips. You give him a good last kiss —well, for now at least— and you go outside, walk right into the car waiting for you, ignoring all the cameras and flashes that were also waiting for any of you to walk out of the bar. Eddie gets in after you and he wastes no time to attack your neck right after he closes the door.

“Back to the hotel” you tell the driver between giggles and he starts the car acting as if you two aren’t almost dry humping in the backseat.

The drive to the hotel passes by with moans and sighs between both of you, lots of making out and resisting the need to rip each other’s clothes off right then and there.

When the driver stops the car, Eddie grabs the first bill he finds in his wallet making sure it’s a good tip as a thank you for his professionalism. Thank God all the people that worked for you had to sing an NDA to get the job, otherwise your publicist would be ripping his hair out tomorrow.

There weren’t any paparazzi at the hotel thankfully, so you can get in and walk to the elevator in peace.

You press the bottom to your floor and the doors close as you feel Eddie pressing himself on your ass, you laugh and go back to kissing him.

When the doors open again you stumble until you get to the first room you see. Eddie’s room finally.

He closes the door by pushing you against it. His lips ghost over yours but he’s not yet closing the distance, grabbing you by the neck so you can’t kiss him. He gets his tongue out a little and you can feel the warmth over your mouth, but not the actual skin.

“Eddie” you whimper and he laughs at you.

“You’re so hot baby” he starts, “gonna let me fuck you, huh?”

He teases you but you nod nonetheless.

“You don’t know how much I missed kissing this pretty mouth of yours,” he stops for a second to give you a wet kiss, “had to hold myself back to not touch you all the time, not to feel you up in every little outfit you wear every night… but I missed this so much baby”

“Missed this too Eddie, please do something” you whimper again feeling so impatient for him. It’s pathetic how just a little fore play at the bar and in the car made you so dumb for him already. But then again, you haven’t had him in more than a year.

The night went on with lots more of teasing and need for each other. You filled the room with both of your moans and whispers claiming how much you missed each other and how glad you are to feel each other again. Not much thinking straight, just acting, doing what you waited so much to be able to do again.

And it was so good, you two always work so good together. The night ended late, after long rounds finally realising the need for each other where you were no longer drunk on the alcohol, but drunk on each other’s bodies and the love you have for one another. “I missed you”, “I love you” and “I need you” were the phrases you both kept repeating all night long. Not thinking of the consequences or what you’d do tomorrow, you just let go.

After what could be described as the perfect night because after sex you both went to sleep holding each other to then dream of each other, your morning started as the complete opposite. You were woken up by several knocks on the door.

“Eddie? Are you there, man?” you can hear the voice of Gareth making him guilty for the knocks that woke you up. You can also hear Eddie groan behind you, feeling his hold on your waist tighten to show he didn’t want to wake up yet, he wanted to stay like this with you for a few more hours—and so did you.

But apparently you weren’t the only one who heard Eddie because Gareth talks again, “Dude, is Y/n there with you? She’s not in her in her room”

“Yes!” Eddie shouts wishing that was all he needed to know so he could just fuck off and let you two sleep a little more.

“Okay good, we have to get down now, Rafe’s waiting for us to have breakfast and talk a little more about the new album or something” he informs you.

You both groan and complain a little, but then again, you’re used to this; being on tour does not equal having enough sleep.

“We’ll be there in a sec!” you inform Gareth so he can get going.

“Let’s keep sleeping” Eddie offers without even opening his eyes yet.

“No Eds, then they would just come to get us again, but this time angrier” you tell him.

“Fuck, fine” he sits up now, opens his eyes slowly to find you putting one of his shirts on. “Morning” he smirks and he feels his cock twitch at the sight of you with only his shirt on and nothing else, eyeing the glimpse of your ass cheeks showing under his shirt, also remembering what you have —finally— done last night.

You find your underwear but decide against putting them on again, they’re not in the best state after last night.

“Morning Munson” you say laughing at his state; his hair a complete mess, can barely open his eyes and his boxers do barely any work to hide his semi. “Come on, get dressed. I’ll go back to my room so I can find some new clothes”

“M’kay, but keep my shirt on, at least for breakfast” he requests.

“Fine, meet me in the hallway so we can go down”

“Yes baby”

You grab the rest of your clothes and check that nobody is the hall before getting out and quickly getting into your room.

While you get another pair of underwear and some jeans to put on, you start thinking about how calmed Eddie was this morning, you were slightly scared that he would wake up finding you naked and remember last night only to start freaking out regretting everything. But this only meant he meant everything he did and said last night, and you were glad.

You’ll figure out what happens with you two later today, but you needed to maintain calmed.

You met Eddie in the hall after getting dressed and you go to the elevator so you can get down to the dining room with the rest.

Little did you know that when you got there and walked to the table with rest of the band and your manager, a big fight would erupt.

Because just as you two sat down in front of the boys, Jeff started losing it.

“Uhh, hi?” his tone was angry.

“Morning” Eddie responds as if nothing.

“What did you two do last night?” he asked in between his teeth.

And with that, Eddie catches on too, you two look up at him with a guilty look on your face, neither answers his question and that all he needed to know.

“I cannot believe you two, you did this again?! Eddie, you have a girlfriend!” Jeff lets his anger out. “How the fuck can you be so calmed, coming down here covered in hickeys and you wearing his shirt?!”

“Jeff-“ Eddie started but he interrupts him.

“No, don’t Jeff me! What were you thinking?! What happens now, huh?! What the fuck is the plan?!”

“There is no plan” you say quietly knowing his response will be more screaming.

“Of course there’s no plan! You just act without even caring what happens next! What happens to the band now? Will you two just keep risking everything without a care in the world?! Need I remind you how your relationship with Rudy ended? That’s right, because you cheated on him with Eddie! And now you do the same with your girlfriend?! What the fuck is wrong with you two?!” He switches among talking directly to you, Eddie and both of you at the same time. You two catch up on it though, you both know what you did and the questions Jeff was asking were the same you two were trying to quiet down inside your heads.

Eddie is looking at him with an angry expression, as if he was ordering him to shut the fuck up. You, on the other hand weren’t looking at anyone, eyes locked somewhere down on the table, guilty expression on your face.

“I’m sorry Rafe, but if they don’t care about the band then neither do I” he finishes getting up and walking out.

The table now is even more uncomfortable, complete silence, no one knowing what to say next. Rafe sighs looking down, thinking hard but not saying anything. Gareth is looking at everybody quietly, he didn’t know what to do or if it was his place to say anything, so he decided to stay silent. Eddie was looking at you worried, you were still looking down somewhere at the table holding the tears.

Finally, after a few seconds, you decide to get up to leave too because you realize you won’t be able to hold back the tears much longer. “Not hungry anymore” your voice comes out week and shaky, letting the boys know how you feel, you slowly walk out of there too, going back to your room.

“Eddie,” Rafe is the next one to break the silence, “before I decide anything here, you and her should talk.” Eddie nods. “I knew this would happen eventually… you two clearly love each other and I need you to know that that’s not wrong, the band can still work but we need to be smart about how to handle this. I was just wishing you two wouldn’t do anything while being in a relationship with someone else… again”

“I know, I’m sorry” Eddie says and he decides to give you some more time before going up to talk. The three man have breakfast in silence, at least more calmed now after Rafe’s words.

What if all I need is you? –

Adorned with smoke on my clothes

Lovelorn and nobody knows

Love thorns all over this rose –

If I'm gonna be drunk

Might as well be drunk in love –

We'll pay the price, I guess

You stare at the words you just wrote on the little notebook. Instead of crying and overthinking everything, you stopped and decided to write the intense feelings inside of you, not caring if they made sense yet, not caring if they will ever end up in an actual song since how the band’s looking right now. Writing always helped you, it was like organizing your thoughts, organizing your head and your heart.

You get out of your head when you hear a soft knock on the door. “Baby, it’s me” you calm down when you recognize Eddie’s voice and you get up to open the door.

“I brought some food for you, you should eat something” Eddie softly tells you and you think you can feel your heart jumping, holding the need to hug him.

“Thank you baby” you think it’s either funny or dangerous how you two keep calling each other these kind of nicknames when everything is going to shit and it’s all your fault. It feels as if you’re having a warm cup of tea reading a nice book completely ignoring the hurricane that’s coming right behind you to destroy everything.

Eddie gets in and sits on the bed with you while you sip on your coffee realizing he prepared it just like you like it: more milk than coffee and four spoons of sugar. Sweet just like you is what Eddie thinks.

He finds the notebook and opens the page that was marked. He knew this was the notebook you wrote song lyrics on, so he knew he could open it without the fear of looking at something more private.

He read the lyrics and immediately a beat came to his head, he started humming it for you. It was slow and sweet and it fit the song perfectly. You were amazed at how he could just read your mind when you wrote songs. You just got each other when it comes to music.

“Sweetheart, don’t want you to be scared or nervous but we should talk” he almost whispers at how softly he’s talking to you. You nod understanding. ”Don’t want you to think of Jeff or the band for just a second, we should figure us up first”

“Eddie, what I feel for you is love. I’m completely in love with you, for years now. We both know this and it hurts so much to see you with her-“

“I don’t love her, you know that right?” he makes sure you know and you nod again. He knows the feeling though, it was how he felt with Rudy and then with Steve. It wasn’t simply jealousy, it wasn’t something dumb and possessive. It was the love you have to pretend you don’t feel for each other burning inside like a fucking mansion flaming to the bone. But you had to act as if it was nothing, as if you are just bandmates, best of friends.

Before you can start saying anything, you feel the tears building up again. He notices so he does the talking.

“Rafe said he knew this would happen eventually, we’ve always been in love sweetheart, it was bound to happen. He said the band can still work and I believe that too” he starts. “Baby, we didn’t want to be together in fear of risking the band’s future. It’s been years of being in love but not doing anything about it, and the love never went away. We’ve had big fights, we fucking dated other people but we still can’t get over each other. I think the band’s is in more danger if we keep this up, if we keep trying to just be friends than if we finally let go and let ourselves be in love”

Tears were already free running down your face. You nod at Eddie’s words. “I know; I think the same”

A few seconds pass where you keep looking at each other with soft smiles tugging at your faces, you both agree on what you needed to do, but could you finally do it?

“So we can be together? Finally?” his voice brakes on the last word and it make you cry harder. You get closer to him, sitting on him so you could give him a big hug, one that shows all the love and need you have for one another. Hugging him around his neck and legs around his waist, face hidden on his neck and he does the same, with his hands around your waist and face on your neck. Impossibly closer.

After some minutes like that, he talks again.

“I have to break up with Megan”

“Yeah”

“I still won’t see her for another week, when we finish New York and flight to LA”

“I think you should maybe call her, so she’s not surprised with the news. I think it would be even worse if you don’t say anything and the second you see her again stun her with the news that you’re breaking up” you explain.

“Ok, yeah I will”

“Eds, I also think it would be smarter of us if… we don’t make it public until we’re both completely sure we’re ready. Think we should be together and be in peace to see how we actually work… I- I’m not saying to keep it a secret because of anything bad, but-“

“I know what you mean, I agree. We should take our time together alone, without the opinions or thoughts of others until we’re ready”

“Exactly”

After finish breakfast, Rafe comes to get you again. Rehearsal starts in twenty minutes.

You change your clothes and put a little make up on, also making sure to cover the hickeys.

When you get down you see the car waiting to take you to rehearsals, but Rafe makes you wait for everyone in the lobby, not getting in the car yet.

Eddie, Gareth and you are waiting for Jeff to come down and for a few seconds you fear he won’t. But the elevator’s doors open and he appears.

“Alright, before we get in the car, you’ll listen to me. We’ll all talk later, the safety of the band comes first and we have to talk about that while we’re all in the right headspace, not while being angry or anything. So as for now, you’ll do the rehearsal for the show you have to give tonight and you’ll forget anything than happened last night or this morning. Only focusing on tonight, you’ve been doing this for years now and you know how to be professionals” he explains. “Now get in the car and don’t worry about anything that is not the show for now, please”

You all nod in agreement and then get in the car.

Once you get there, you start rehearsing the songs and the dialogs, the times between each song, and set list that you already knew by heart since you’ve been doing this show for months now.

When you finish you go backstage and order food for lunch.

Eddie and you come to the realisation that it’s time to talk to Gareth and Jeff now.

All four of you are already together, each in their own head, not exchanging a word. Eddie looks at you and nods, it’s time.

“Guys, can we talk?” you tell them ignoring the knot in your stomach from how nervous you are. Eddie gets up and stands next to you, Gareth and Jeff get closer, paying attention to you now. Jeff seems pissed yet, like he clearly didn’t want to talk to you two, but he had to be a professional to be in a band, not acting like child.

“Listen, Eddie and I talked this morning after- after everything, and we have decided something, hopefully you agree with us” you start and the knot becomes tighter realizing that is possible they won’t agree… what happens then?

Eddie and you tell the guys what you said this morning. After all the years trying to forget and move on from each other, and the love never went away. The fights and new people you’ve both gone through and it never broke you two apart. If you still loved each other after all of that, there wasn’t something that an actual relationship could do to make you separate. Everything you’ve been doing trying to get over the love and trying to be just friends was risking the band more than any relationship could. All the toxicity of actually seeing each other with someone else and not being able to do or say anything was worse than any fight you could have as actual lovers.

You explained everything to them and now it was their turn to say what they think.

“I’ve had to see you two wanting to kill each other and the people you’re with because of the jealousy. You’ve written songs about that, maybe the 90% of our whole discography is about this, about wanting to be together but not being able to. I think the love you have for each other is stronger than each of you and you should stop being afraid of what could happen to the band if you break up, and actually being fucking happy with each other. I’m sick and tired of the Megans and the Rudys or Steves, and the look on your faces when you have to act as if you’re just friends” Gareth explains. “Just fucking be together finally and pull yourselves and us out of that misery”

Eddie laughs at how Gareth puts it, and you smile.

You turn to look at Jeff and you think you’ve never been this nervous.

He sighs noticing all the eyes on him awaiting. “I’m really happy you can see you belong together. Don’t think that what I said this morning means I don’t love you two and you both being happy. I was just scared of what would happen to the band, because I fucking love making music with you three idiots. I agree with Gare, just fucking get together already and cut the shit”

You all laugh at Jeff’s words.

“So, does that mean the band is still good?” you ask him.

“With no end in sight” he confirms and you feel so relieved. You run to hug him and he hugs you back, the two boys behind you join the group hug and you confirm that the band’s never been better than what is to come.

After lunch you make sure to talk to Rafe too explaining everything. And he agrees on the idea to keep quiet on it for some time. But luckily he’s very supportive of you.

It’s Eddie time to call Megan now, and it’s safe to say he’s not really looking forward to it.

He dials her number and after a few tones, she picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Meg"

"Eddie, hi! Wasn't expecting your call so soon"

"Yeah, I know, but I felt like I should. Sorry for not calling after the show last night"

"No worries. How'd it go?"

"It was awesome. The crowd here is unreal. I’m looking forward to play again tonight"

"That's great! Did you go out after or stayed in?"

"W-we did go out, yeah"

"Oh, cool"

"Listen, Megan, there's something I need to talk to you about" he begins, not being able to keep the small talk any longer.

"Okay, sure" she responds, her tone growing serious as she waits for him to continue.

"When we get back to LA next week, I think... I think we really need to have a… conversation" he says, cringing at his choice of his words.

"...Okay. Is everything okay, Eddie?" Is it… It’s not good, is it?” she asks in a serious tone. Eddie takes a few seconds to answer again.

“…No… it’s not. I don’t want you to overthink anything, but I thought it would just be cruel to… I don’t know, take you by surprise with it when I come back”

Though Eddie can't see her, Megan nods, nervously biting her lip. They both understand the unspoken implications behind "we need to talk," yet they can’t voice it already.

She's somewhat grateful he called to give her a heads-up, as painful as it is. Compared to the other guys she's dated, who might have dumped her over the phone or pretended everything was fine until they met in person, all in all, Eddie's approach feels more considerate.

"I'm serious, Meg. I don’t want you overthinking it” he insists

"Okay, I won't" she assures him. "See you, Eddie"

"Yeah... Bye, Meg" he says softly before they hang up.

He goes back to the guys with an expression you can’t really read.

“How did it go?” you ask.

“As good as it could, I guess. It was awkward and we didn’t really know what to say, I was trying not to say much so we can actually talk when I see her, but I didn’t want her overthinking why I’m breaking up with her… I don’t know, she didn’t say much either, there was a lot of silence”

“Yeah well, I’m guessing you’re not really someone she wants to talk to right now” Jeff says and Eddie nods.

“You ok?” you get closer to him; you didn’t like seeing him like this. A smile forms on his face, softening his features when he sees you worrying over him.

“I’m fine baby” he assures you but you hug him nonetheless, and he rests on the couch so you can cuddle.

The week flies by perfectly for both of you. New York is always a favorite, feels even more magical with Eddie by your side at all times. You seize every spare moment to soak up the city's vibes, wandering its streets hand in hand, delighting in each other's company.

If someone who didn’t know you two at all witnessed how you are privately, they would think you’re in a relationship of many many years. You’re always all over each other, touching in any way possible; you’re walking around the city and he has his arm around your waist, holding your hand or with his hand inside your pocket; you’re having dinner or driving somewhere and he has a hand on your thigh; you’re hanging out with the boys and you’re cuddling; you’re waiting for the elevator and you’re hugging him by his waist. Not to mention that you’ve booked two separate rooms but you’re only using one, since you’re sleeping together every night; and well, let’s just say that you’ve spend the week making up the lost time in the bedroom as well. Or as Gareth so kindly puts it: getting at it like rabbits.

But after you finish the three remaining shows on Ney York, it was time for LA, and you knew Eddie was a bit nervous about his overdue conversation with Megan, who technically was still his girlfriend.

The flight to Los Angeles passed by quickly since you slept the whole journey.

You had lunch and then rehearsal at the venue. In your way to the backstage one of the security guys tells Eddie that his girlfriend has arrived and is waiting for him.

“Okay, it’s time now… wish me luck” he says before heading to the room the security guy signalled.

He enters the room and sees Megan sat on one of the chairs.

“Hey” he greets her.

“Hi, how are you? How was the flight?”

“Fine, I just slept through it”

“Oh good, I heard a little of the rehearsal, you guys sound amazing”

“Thanks yeah, we changed the set list a bit so it’s not the exact same all the time” he explains giving in the small talk.

“Sounds good”

“How’s work?” he intends to ask her but she doesn’t answer his question.

“Eddie, can we just talk please?”

“Yeah, sorry. I um- I needed to talk to you because I have… fucked up a little” he finally says.

“What happened?” she asks but Eddie takes a few seconds to respond. Opens and shuts his mouth a couple of times until he says it. She has probably been wondering what actually happened ever since he called her.

“I cheated on you”

She nods her head, not looking at him now, eyes locked somewhere on the floor.

“With?” she asks and Eddie once again waits a few seconds until he tells her your name. She nods again, a sinister smile forming on her face.

“Is it funny?” he asks her now, frown forming on his face to show his confusion.

“No, just should’ve seen it coming” she says.

“I’m sorry”

“I bet you are. When did it happen?”

“Night before I called you” he can’t even look at her.

“So this whole week you spend it fucking her, didn’t you?”

“Meg…”

“No, what happened to ‘it´s all just for show’? All that flirting was actually real?” she’s accusing him but with a calmed voice that’s only freaking him out more.

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t- I don’t even know what else to say. I shouldn’t have lied to you, I shouldn’t have even put you in the middle of all this. I’m really sorry” he says sincerely.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have, but you did. Just like you shouldn’t have fucked her while you we were still together!” she waits for him to say something but he stays quiet. “Well, say something!”

“What? What else do you want me to say? Want me to tell you how it happened?!” he asks sarcastically but she actually says yes.

“Alright, yeah. Fucking tell me”

“No, I’m not gonna-“

“Say it!” she orders and he knows she not going to let it go, so he sighs and starts talking.

“After the second night we all went out to the after party. Started drinking with her, a lot. Started… flirting with her, a lot. Then I kissed her. And then we both went back to the hotel and slept together”

“Okay so, you slept with her because you were drunk, but then you called me basically telling me we were braking up. So you didn��t regret it” she accuses him.

“What? If I had regretted it would you have forgiven me?” he asks her angrily.

“No, I wouldn’t have. But clearly it didn’t take a lot of convincing from her part to dump me and run to her!”

“Don’t- just be angry at me, not at her” he tells her and she can’t believe those words actually came out of his mouth.

“You’ve been in love with her all throughout our relationship, haven’t you?!” she realizes. And Eddie is left with no other choice than just nod his head in affirmation, she’s right and she caught him. She laughs.

“Okay… I’m gonna leave now, can’t really keep looking at you” she decides. She takes her jacket and before opening the door she speaks again. “Thanks for the complete waste of time that this relationship was”

Eddie thinks he could say the same to her, but obviously doesn’t say. He knows it’s all his fault.

While Eddie and Megan talked, the three of you waited in another room. More people of the staff started to arrive already, it was still a few hours until show time, but they needed to get everything set up.

At one point, one of the woman of the dressing department came up to you saying it was time to pick tonight’s outfit. You all followed her into the hall and she showed you different options.

Gareth and Jeff chose their clothes first, she left Eddie for later since he wasn’t here yet. She started showing you some dresses, some tops with pants or skirts. And as you evaluated the different options, you heard someone opening a door and storming out. When you lift your gaze to see who it was you’re met with an angry Megan and Eddie walking out behind her. She meets your gaze and she smiles, but it was not a ‘nice to see you’ smile at all.

“Look who it is! Are you picking the outfit for tonight, let’s see what would Eddie like the most?” she says sarcastically.

“Megan, leave her alone!” Eddie warns her, but she doesn’t stop there.

“Did you have fun fucking my boyfriend behind my back? I bet you really did, didn’t you?” she accuses you. “You’re such a fucking slut just begging for his attention”

You wanted to say something but words didn’t come out. You just froze looking at her offended.

“Alright, that’s enough. Everybody saw you little show, now leave!” Eddie gets in the middle of you two. But that doesn’t stop her either.

“You know she only did this so you’d look at her instead of me, right? But as soon as I leave she’s gonna dump you again, ‘cause that’s all she wants; your attention on her, but she doesn’t want you. She’s just a bratty slut only wanting the toy when someone else has it” she keeps accusing you, you’re frozen on the spot, not being able to walk out or say anything back at her.

“James!” Eddie calls the security guy while keeping Megan off of you. “JAMES!”

As soon as James gets there he asks Megan to leave the stadium. And don’t get me wrong, she is petty, but no so petty to have to be carried away by security, so she just laughs one more time at the situation and walks away to where James guides her. Not without insulting you once more screaming “bye slut” and then walking away.

—

“Flamingo pink, Sunrise Boulevard. Clink, clink. Being this young is art” you sing into the microphone, the crowd erupting into screams as they recognize the song. It's the opening night of the new tour, result of the hard work that you’ve put into the latest album. Touring remains your favorite part of this job. Yours and the whole band’s as well.

“Got lovestruck, went straight to my head, got lovesick, all over my bed, love to think you'll never forget handprints in wet cement. Adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows, love thorns all over this rose. I'll pay the price, you won't” the pre-chorus begins, Eddie’s guitar guiding you on the times of the song, feeling the rhythm and energy coursing through the venue.

“But if I’m all dressed up they might as well be looking at us, and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once, and if I'm gonna be drunk I might as well be drunk in love” you playfully add a little embodying the lyrics' sentiment.

“Everyone wants him, that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down, then he's pulling me in. In a world of boys, he's a gentleman” The chorus rolls in, and you can't help but revel in the lyrics, especially the line you know Eddie adores. You sing with a smile, amused by Eddie's attempt to hide his giddiness.

“This is luxury. You're not saying you're in love with me. But you're going to. Half awake, taking your chance it's a big mistake, I said ‘It might blow up in your pretty face’ I'm not saying ‘do it anyway’ but you're going to” Transitioning into the bridge, the words flow effortlessly. Singing this song feels like flirting with Eddie live in front of the big crowd. But then again, that’s just another Tuesday at work for you, and you’re far from complaining.

Eddie remains as your loyal supporter, amazed by the way you’ve turned a horrible experience with his ex into a beautiful piece of art. He will forever be your number one fan.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #rockstar! eddie munson x reader #rockstar!eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson series #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #rockstar!eddie x reader #rockstar!eddie munson x rockstar!reader

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garbinge · 10 months

Text

Complicated

Javier Peña & Pena!Sister!Reader (Peña's Sister Reader) Steve Murphy x Peña!F!Reader

For @the-slumberparty's Bingo Challenge! Bingo square: Bondage

A/N: Okay, I KNOWWWW bondage is smutty. I know. but like I had to make it angsty because its who i am as a person. it does allude to smut tho, so it's not completely dry lol.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Angsty, alludes to sexual situations, flirty, fighting, arguing, cursing, mentions of guns, etc. bondage.

Narcos Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini

“It’s too fucking complicated!” Javi’s voice raised.

“Don’t raise your voice.” You scrunched your face up and waved him off.

“Don’t make that face.” He retorted back to you in the most little brother way possible.

“Look, it’s done, Javi. I’m flying out and getting briefed before you even have your flight booked. I’m on the Escobar case, it’s done.” You shrugged, face still scrunched up as you waved him off yet again, grabbing the plates to serve the food you had just cooked.

“Don’t–don’t do that. I fucking hate when you do that.” His voice was lowered but it was still tense.

“Do what? Be right?” You weren’t going to yell, you weren’t going to argue, what’s done was done.

Javi was coming around to that realization, begrudgingly, but he was. “Yea, that.”

You smiled at your brother, not in a condescending way, but sympathetic. You didn’t want Javi to be upset or bothered by this but he also needed to accept it regardless of his opinion on it.

You and Javi both joined government agencies, at the time of joining you were both in different divisions, but there was occasional overlap. It taught you two how to work together, how to communicate on the job, all of those things. But nothing prepared both of you for this. There had been rumors that Peña had been selected to join the DEA, you just didn’t realize that the rumor meant both of you. It was definitely a conflict of interest, but the DEA definitely didn’t care. Their priority was catching Escobar.

“Is the food done?” Javi was walking over hiding his attempt to steal from the pot by seeming like he was going to help you serve and set the table.

“Are both of you done?” Chucho entered the kitchen, frustration laced in his voice and eager to eat.

“Yes Dad.” You handed him the first plate of food you were serving and he was out of the kitchen as quickly as he entered, not wanting anything to do with whatever you and your brother were talking about.

Javi’s eyes were on Chucho until he left the room and he leaned back as extra precaution to check he was gone. As soon as he was out of sight, Javi was turning to you.

“Hermanita, por favor.” He pled with you, like nicknames were going to make you be like ‘okay I’ll drop the opportunity of a lifetime and fuck my career’. Extremely wishful thinking.

“Javi, I told Dad we were done, so it’s done.” You were aggravated now. “If you have a problem with it, you stay home.” You were grabbing the carrot out of his hand and throwing it into the pot of food, annoyance all over your face.

You know your little brother didn’t mean what you were feeling. The feeling of being a woman working for the government in the 70’s was trying to say the least. And your brother was trying you right now. Of course he’d assume you’d just be the one to stand down, you knew in Javi’s mind it was more a selfish thing than a sexist one, but that didn’t take away from the underlying misogynistic assumption of why he probably was thinking it in the first place. So you made it clear to him that the only way he’d get what he want, was for him to make the choice to stay home, not you.

“Alright.” He lifted his hands up in surrender, knowing you well enough that there was no more room to push or argue about this topic. But, Javi being Javi, that didn’t stop him from repeating himself from something he said earlier. This time under his breath as you walked away to join Chucho to eat.

“It’s gonna be too fucking complicated.”

____

“This is fucking complicated.” Those were the first words you spoke when Steve opened the door to his apartment.

“Apparently that’s our favorite thing to do.” Steve stepped back and waved his arm in a sarcastic manner to welcome you in but you were already well past him and pacing in his living room thinking about the information he had just told you.

That was true. As if being in the thick of this drug war in Colombia wasn’t complicated enough, you had working alongside your brother to add to it and decided sleeping with his partner was just the complicated cherry on top you needed.

To be fair, you weren’t just sleeping with Steve, there were feelings there, feelings neither of you ever talked about because being a special agent in the DEA meant you were sent back to the 5th grade when it came to being open and honest about how you felt about people. Also, you were truly in the thick of things, how you felt about each other wasn’t ever top priority. You both met the first day you landed, he had been in Colombia for about a week. He acted like he was showing you the lay of the land there at the embassy, but truthfully, you both were ostracized from the masses. You both needed to earn your way to be trusted by your fellow co-workers and the search bloc. It made getting closer with each other easier because, well, when no one else would talk to you, you had one another. Living in the same building also helped, it’d make late nights feel a bit more romanticized when he’d walk you to your apartment on the third floor and then walk back down to his on the second. He’d do that every night, until one night, he didn’t walk back down to the second floor. Not until the morning to grab his clothes for your morning trek into the office. Since then, the lines got extremely blurry in your professional relationship and when Javi came things got even more complicated. Steve was never your working partner, per say. You might have gone out on raids and things together, but on paper you were just two DEA agents in the same department. You were more of an intel special agent, while he was a boots on the ground type. But you both gave eachother tips and tricks to both. Until Javi came. Once your brother was in Colombia, he was assigned as Steve’s partner.

“Are you positive?” You stopped pacing and stared at Steve, the coffee table being the only thing between you, that and a mountain of tension.

“He sold me out to the fuckin’ Cali cartel, he’s blurring the lines.”

“Yea, well.” Your face said it all when you looked at Steve. You two were doing the same thing Javi was just different scenarios.

“It’s way different. This isn’t illegal.” Steve defended both of you.

You brought your hand to your head as the headache began to throb. This wasn’t the time to argue about your relationship, it was different sure, but there was a level of issue with it. Things you thought of more since you’d likely be the one to be taunted, hazed, bullied, and reprimanded work wise.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the ring of his landline phone. Both of you twisting your heads to stare at the phone before Steve was moving to answer. You resumed your pacing, hoping the call was something nonsensical and you two could get back to your conversation

“I gotta go in. Classified info from the embassy came in, they found out where Blackie’s girlfriend is.” Steve was quick to grab his keys and vest, which meant a raid was approved.

“I’m coming with you.” You went to turn to run to your apartment and grab your vest but Steve was jogging by you quickly.

You weren’t expecting him to stand in front of the door and block it like he was doing so the frown on your face grew as you tried to piece together what he was doing.

“Please stay here.” That was all he was going to say, and even thought he knew that wasn’t going to do anything in your brain, he still held on some hope.

You laughed at his request. “No, I’m going with you. This is huge.”

“If Javi is working with the Cali Cartel, with fuckin’ Los Pepes, whoever, this is going to get messy.” Steve gave you the real reason he wanted you to stay back.

“Steve. Right now, I’m not your fuck buddy, I’m not Javi’s sister, I’m not your responsibility or his, I’m not even your fucking partner, I’m a DEA special agent and I have every right to be on this raid.” You were firm with your voice.

“You know that’s not why I’m saying this.” Steve tilted his head. He knew how you felt about things inside the agency, the politics of it all. He might have been oblivious to somethings but he was fully aware of others. “I’m saying this because if Javi gets put into a position in the middle of the field, all those agents and search bloc members around, you can’t react the way I know you’ll want to, I can though, he’s my partner.” Steve made a good point, but you weren’t going to give in that easily, or at all.

“I know how to work in the field with my fuckin’ brother, Murphy.” You were now chest to chest, you had been taking steps closer to the door.

“But you don’t know how to navigate working on the field with your brother whose possibly–probably working with fuckin Los Pepes.”

There was his point. He was probably right, even though you didn’t want him to be. You just stared at him, letting the long seconds pass knowing he’d give in because the time was ticking down to him getting to wherever this intel pointed to.

“Fine.” He said hanging his head low. “But you left your vest here.” He knew that was where you were headed. The memory came back to you, last night coming into Steve’s apartment quickly and quietly after a long night on the streets of Colombia based on a rotten tip.

Turning to follow Steve’s gaze you saw him pull your bulletproof vest from the coat hooks and lift it up with one finger. It was sarcastic but a part of you couldn’t help but to feel slightly attracted by the face he made at you. With his other hand he grabbed his other things, gun, wallet, handcuffs, and situated them on his belt and threw the vest over his shoulder before coming back over to you.

He ripped the velcro off the vest and opened it wide, the sound of the velcro detaching loudly filling the close space between you two. Lifting the green bulletproof vest over your head he stepped closer against you, his torso lining up with your own. You could feel his breath against your face, it was cool with the hint of a cigarette he probably had a few hours ago. His other hand lifted your arms up. If you weren’t getting ready to go on a raid you would have pushed him down and taken him right here. As he placed the vest over your arms, he aggressively pulled it down so it was starting to form against your body, the motion of it was making your heart beat faster. His head now was level with yours as his hands caressed around you and you let out a gasp as he tightened the straps so not only was the vest fit around your body but you were brought closer to him.

He lifted your hands up again, putting both of your wrists in one of his hands and tapping around the vest to make sure everything was secure.

“Want you to be safe, you know?” He chuckled, knowing exactly what he was doing. He spoke this to you, whispered it actually, right into your ear, his lips tickling your ear before he placed a sweet kiss on your neck that soon became sensual. You didn’t realized it since your eyes closed to enjoy his lips on your neck but you were now against the wall.

Just as you were about to tell him that you both should go, you heard the clicking and your eyes shot open and looked up. You were handcuffed to the lighting sconce that was attached to the concrete wall. You shook your hand for good measure but there was no coming loose from that.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You looked at Steve, shock and a little betrayal in your eyes.

“Not exactly the kind of bondage I wanted to try with you but I had to do it,” He was turning to grab the sat phone that was on the coffee table before turning back around to see you and how angry you were. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you and call you the minute it’s over.” He was placing the SAT phone in your hand before placing a quick kiss on your lips and running out of the door.

There was nothing you could do but yell, so that’s what you did.

“FUCK YOU, MURPHY!”

#javi peña #javier peña #steve murphy #Steve murphy x reader #steve murphy x f!reader #steve murphy x you #javier peña x sister!reader #narcos fanfiction #narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos netflix

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coffeeheartaddict2 · 2 months

Text

When life has other plans (16/16)

All's well that ends well

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Casey Valentine

Word count: 3398

Warnings: language, sexual content

Category: Smutty fluff

Rating: Mature

Summary: It is Casey’s final year of residency. Boards, offers and a few surprises are in stall.

Disclaimer: characters belong to Pixelberry.

Authors note: we made it, last chapter and the happy ending I promised. For those who have endured another angsty AU thank you. I hope you enjoy the ending.

🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Casey could not believe it. Final year of residency was here. Between her regular duties as a resident and junior fellow, as well as studying for boards there was not much time for anything else, which was the main reason why she declined her nomination to be in the running for chief resident. Jackie was kicking goals with the position though and Aurora was back at Edenbrook also. Casey knew that the medical world would be her oyster after her residency but she was torn. She enjoyed the team and felt she still had much to learn and contribute but at the same time, what was going to be best for her.

After Ethan confessing about the nightmares he had been having, their relationship again grew stronger and closer. In a way Ethan was excited about Casey coming to the end of residency and the next chapter in her career but the ghosts of future chats past was starting to rear its ugly head. He did not want to hold her back in any way but he also knew that if he was out of his reporting lines then they could be more open about their relationship and that any allegation of Casey being where she is only because of him would be less.

On a rare day off for both of them Ethan decided to start a dialogue about their future.

“I am a little scared, the last time I had a “our future chat” was in medical school. To say it did not end well is putting it mildly. I do not want a repeat of that. I know Boards are still several months away but any post residency offers from elsewhere will start coming in before boards…”

“Yeah, I was chatting to Tobias about the other day and how I will not get my Edenbrook one until we get our results, let’s just say if Tobias was still at Kenmore he would have put an offer to me to spite you pretty much.”

Ethan could not help but chuckle.

“In all seriousness Casey, I do not want to hold you back professionally. I know it is not the be all and end all but I also do understand if you wish to move out of my shadow…”

“This much I do know Ethan, I am staying on the East coast, my family are on this side, you are but obviously we will discuss more as time gets closer. What happened with the last chat that had you so scared?” Asked Casey.

“It was med school, I was well into my third year. I had been in a relationship with a fellow student, Estelle. Back in those days I had a big wall so the fact I was in a relationship and had been for nearly 8 months at that point was a big deal. It was coming up to Estelle needing to pick residency and what we wanted to do relationship wise. She asked me if I loved her and I could not say it back. She was distraught and accused me of not being able to see a future. She stormed out and I went to see her the next day to apologize, granted the same apology I had said several times over and I was greeted by a near naked Tobias…”

“Ouch” said Casey, wincing.

“Tobias numerous times had a discussion about my walls and issues and how I needed to address them and well, I did not know how or did not have the drive to do so. I had also assumed that Louise had left me because she did not love me so there was that also.”

Casey squeezed his hand.

“Well I was rather angry as you would imagine. At both of them. That is the point where things between myself and Tobias turned toxic. Estelle after a few weeks kept trying to woo me back but I could not trust her again.”

“Wow, ok, I know you told me that you both liked the same woman in medical school but I had no idea what had happened…” said Casey. “I understand the fear better. As I said earlier, unless they are going to pay my college debt and moving costs and it is a great offer career wise, I am staying on the east coast. And I will not be making this decision unilaterally either.”

Ethan smiles and gives her a hug. This discussion buoyed Ethan even more. Up until Casey, he never saw himself getting married or even a de facto relationship, however, the longer he was with Casey the more he saw the prospect of marriage. It was not something that he broached with her yet but it was something he knew he wanted.

As boards get closer, the busier Casey is with work and study. Ethan is worried about Casey, burning the candle at both ends. Casey understands where Ethan is coming from but she states that she can cope. Her work on the team did not go down nor in her regular duties. He marveled at how well she was going. As much as Casey worked hard she, along with all of her friends, were looking forward to the wedding of Ines. She was getting married in Hawaii. Casey was looking forward to the break. The flight to Hawaii was uneventful if not long. But they made it safely and when they were all checked in Casey went to bed. She awoke the next morning. The sea air bribing back memories of Miami in her intern year. There was a familiar stirring at her core but she refrained, knowing full well that there was plenty of time after the wedding to partake in what she wanted. She got dressed and met Ethan for some breakfast. He introduced her to Kona and Casey loved it. She then went stand up paddle boarding with Aurora and had a blast. Then it was time to get ready for the wedding. Casey picked a strapless floral number that suited the beach location perfectly. She put her hair up in a bun and had a few strands shaping her face. The ceremony itself was beautiful. Casey stayed with her friends for the ceremony and Ethan stuck towards the back. Ethan normally spent weddings wondering why people would take the plunge, but this time he listened to the words of not only Zaid, but the commitments that Ines and Angie made to each other and he then saw himself at an altar, making the same commitments to Casey and a feeling of peace the he never thought he would know lay upon him. He enjoyed some of the activity of the reception but he moved out to a balcony. Casey saw him move and after collecting a slice of cake for him as well as herself, joined him.

“How are you going?” She asks.

“Good, it was a lovely ceremony and I have been enjoying myself.”

“I am glad” says Casey. They enjoy their cake and then they go for a walk on the beach.

“Have you thought about what you want from our relationship long term?” Asks Ethan.

Casey is shocked by the question.

“What do I want as in…”

“Do you see marriage or similar” said Ethan.

“I thought you did not believe in marriage?”

“Well as we have gotten closer I have come to quite a few realizations about what I want in life.” Said Ethan “And events and therapy have helped me realize that what happened in my past does not need to dictate my future, which in away I had been doing.”

“I must admit, if you told me at the beginning of second year that we were in a relationship, I would have thought that person crazy, don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to be in a relationship, especially given what we have gone through but my mind has so much being on boards and post residency that it has not being at the forefront of my mind but in saying that, I do see a future with you.”

Ethan internally breathed a sigh of relief before saying.

“You do indeed look ravishing in that dress” says Ethan before he plants a searing kiss on her lips. Casey returns the kiss. While Ethan starts kissing the column of her neck, Casey asks, nearly breathless

“Shall we go to my room?”

“Yes please” says Ethan huskily.

They make their way back to the hotel, unable to keep their hands and lips of each other. Once in the lift he lifts he up and she puts her legs around his waist. His hand trails up her thigh and Casey gasps as his hand reaches her drenched centre. He plays with her clit. Casey quietly moans. The elevator reaches their floor and they resume kissing. They arrive at Casey’s room. They enter and Ethan pushes her up against the door. He finds her zip and unzips her dress and the top falls around her waist. Ethan ravishes attention on her chest. He stops and lets her down so that he dress can fall down. He kneels down, laying waste to her underwear and places her leg over his shoulder and kisses up the inside of her thigh to her centre. The session is short and intense and Casey succumbs screaming. “I love you so much” she says breathlessly.

He kisses her before they make their way to the bed. They go several long and rather intense rounds. Ethan falls into an exhausted sleep. Casey lays awake, physically sated and with a feeling of peace. As she lay there, her mind went back to that first time in Miami and how they agreed to the initial arrangement and reflected on how far they had come not only as individuals but as a couple and then she smiled before drifting off into a blissful sleep.

Ethan awoke first, he looked at the gorgeously naked woman who was laying over him and wondered what had he done to be in love with and to receive the same love in return. In that moment he knew he was ready and that he would propose after Casey got her results.

Everyone enjoyed the brief break but when everyone returned, they hit the ground running. Ethan and Tobias tried to lessen Casey’s workload generally so she was not overstretched leading into boards. A few weeks after Hawaii Ethan and Tobias met for lunch socially. It was then that Ethan told Tobias that he was going to propose to Casey. To Ethan’s surprise, he was not surprised at this development. He was very excited for his friend though. Tobias said if he wanted any help shopping or planning the proposal to let him know.

A fortnight before boards Casey was unwell, with a respiratory tract infection for which treatment with antibiotics was needed. Due to being ordered to not even come into work until the course had finished, Casey made a quick recovery. This did not affect her preparations for boards.

The day of the board exams came. Casey and the gang arrived early and waited to be let in. The first part was the multiple choice component with the practical component after lunch. The gang were nervous obviously but on a base level fairly confident. Casey was told by not only Ethan but also by Tobias and by Baz not to overthink the questions. The exam started and there were a mix of tricky and easy questions. Casey felt she was going good until there was a question about the maitotoxin. She had to do a double take and then internally started to panic. She took a few deep breaths and answered the question before carrying on. The morning part came to an end and a visibly shaken Casey retrieved her belongings and made a phone call. Ethan was at Edenbrook, doing paperwork when his phone rang. He looked at phone and Casey’s face was on the screen. He answered the call.

“How are boards going sweetheart?” He asked.

“There was a question about the maitotoxin. It shook me.” Said Casey. “I thought I was over the worst of everything with that bit…”

Casey, breath, please” interjected Ethan. Casey does as she is told. “I can only imagine how traumatic that was to see that question but remember, recovery is not a straight line, but the fact you did not completely have a panic attack is a good sign.”

“Thanks Ethan, I did manage to get through the rest.”

“Glad to hear it, I will see you tonight.”

“See you tonight and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Casey hangs up and has lunch with the rest of the gang. They discussed how they think they went and the maitotoxin question and Jackie asked a question.

“Has anyone seen Landry?”

“To be honest, I have not looked for him.”

“I did not see Judas” stated Elijah.

“He either ended up elsewhere and this was not his testing location or wherever he ended up did not work out.” Said Aurora.

All agreed though, they were quietly happy that they did not see him.

The afternoon session went without a hitch and then it was time to head home and get ready for the post boards party. Casey was looking forward to this on multiple fronts. She was looking forward to celebrating with her colleagues but also with Ethan. Between work and study, they had not much alone time together and Casey was looking forward to rectifying that. After a nap and a shower she got dressed in a rather salacious red lingerie set, she knew it would be ruined but she did not care. She wore it under a black wrap dress, paired with some heels and she was more than eager to go. The party at Donahue’s was in full swing and it did not take him long to find her. She looked alluring in the black wrap dress and all thoughts of impropriety came rushing forth. She eventually joined him at the bar.

He put his arm around her and whispered how ravishing she looked. Casey suggested that they head back to his house.

Traffic was mercifully good going from the hospital to Ethan’s apartment. As soon as they entered the lift, his lips were on hers. Ethan was a man starved and the journey from the lift to his apartment seemed to take ages. He just about had her up against the wall of his entryway when she told him to stop and guided him to the couch. She stands a little away and slowly takes her dress off. Showing off her new lingerie set inch by painful inch. As soon as her dress came tumbling down he got up and pushed her up against the window. Her breath catches as her back lands on the cool glass. He holds her hands above her head with one hand. He kisses her hard while the other hand plays with the nipple through her bra. He instructs her to keep her arms above her head for which she complies. He kisses down her neck and collarbone. He yanks and rips at her bra before circling her nipples with his tongue before gently sucking them. A slight moan escapes Casey’s lips and he whispers in her ears huskily.

“I am just getting started.”

One hand trails down to go between her legs. Her hips buck at the touch. A groan releases from the back of Ethan’s throat. He moves away slightly to remove his clothes. She quivers when she sees his rock hard cock. He kisses her again hungrily and picks her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. He slowly enters her, allowing time to adjust before moving out and thrusting back in hard.

“Fuck” Casey mutters.

They set an arduous rhythm from the get go and it does not take long for Casey to get close. Ethan holds her on the precipice before he succumbs, triggering Casey’s. He helps her ride it out and then when he feels able, he carries her bridal style to his room. He kisses her gently after laying her down on the bed. The second time is gentler but no less intense. The whole night was filled with sessions equal in intensity. They eventually fell into a deep and blissful sleep.

The last month of residency went in a blur. Naveen stood down as Chief of Medicine. The position was given to Ethan and he was encouraged to seriously think about it. Ethan toyed with giving Casey the team but he knew that would give the misogynists plenty of fodder and he did not want the accomplishment tarnished. Tobias suggested having Casey run it with someone else. Tobias was very impressed with how Casey worked and felt that it would only be a matter of time before she was leading any team in her own right. Ethan then asked Tobias how he felt about running the team, either as a sole leader or co-leadership with Casey for which Tobias replied

“I would very much like to run the team with Casey.”

Now Casey had received several offers. John Hopkins, Mayo, Kenmore, New York Presbyterian, Grossman and Perleman among others. They were all good offers but when Ethan got his offer and started thinking about it and what he wanted to do in the role, the decision was then made that she would stay at Edenbrook.

The last two weeks of residency came and Casey was exhausted. She had been working hard sure but this was another level. On the day that the board results were due, Casey was feeling nauseous. She was nervous about the results but this felt different. She then realized that she was late.

“Fuck” she muttered as the realization that again she was pregnant set in. She ordered herself a blood test. Her board results came in and she had passed with flying colours. She was relieved and excited, especially when she read her Edenbrook offer. Co-running the team with Dr Carrick. She then fought off a wave of nausea.

Her results of the blood test came in by the end of her shift.

She read them while catching the T to Ethan’s apartment.

She was not surprised but also shocked. She arrived at Ethan’s. She saw the romantic setting and was surprised. Especially when she spotted Ethan looking a little nervous.

He offered her a wine, which she declined and she got Ethan to sit down. The ring was sitting in his pocket and with how Casey was looking he all of a sudden became more nervous. He tried to remain calm, but trying to remember what could have upset her was a ball that had already started to move.

Casey could see how nervous he was.

“It is nothing bad Ethan, at least I hope not.”

All overcome with nerves she hands Ethan the result of her blood test. Ethan read, then reread the results again and then he looked over at Casey and he smiled.

“I never thought I would be here, ever, even after the events of the end of your first year. I never considered you an obligation then and I sure do not now. All I do know is that I want it all with you. A marriage, children. Everything. For the longest time I thought I did not deserve any of it and thus ruled it out. But I confronted the issues, with some prompting I admit but I confronted them and even though there will always be a part of me that will wonder if I do deserve it, I do know that the past can be learnt from and that it is not a tool used to dictate my future. I love you so much Casey and I look forward to embarking on life with you, no matter what it has planned.”

He takes a breath and produces a box. He opens it and gets down on one knee.

“Casey, will you make me even happier and marry me.”

Casey was shocked, then looked at the ring. It was gorgeous and then she looked at Ethan.

“Yes, my gosh, Yes.”

He placed the ring on her left hand and they kissed a kiss full of promise of what was to come.

———

Authors note: A fun fact, the ending with the pregnancy was only thought of when I started this chapter. I was always going to have a proposal but it feels full circle now. For those who endured the angst and frustration thank you so much. I hope you all enjoyed the ending

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @cariantha @tessa-liam @youlookappropriate @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @genevievemd @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @zealouscanonindeer @alj4890 @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfanfiction @binny1985 @lucy-268

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices fanfic writers creations #casey valentine #tobias carrick #choices #fic of the week #au #open heart choices

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mostly-marvel-musings · 24 days

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This right here: "Tony hadn’t felt so vulnerable and yet safe at the same time, then again he’d never been with you." is the reason I want to KISS YOUR BRAIN.

Fuck, this was so fucking sweet and beautiful and adorable! This kind of reminded me of that one shot of yours, Nightmares (I may have gotten the name wrong here, but anyways, it's the one with him having a nightmare), which also mentions Tony feeling safe in being vulnerable in front of the reader. I fucking love it when you explore Tony's issues and insecurities in your stories. I think it's such an important part of him but it's usually overlooked in stories, so I love seeing you explore this part of Tony's life. This one shot was so good and such a nice mix of fluff and smut, but this part in particular just really stood out to me. Anyways, great work, I love your writing, have a good Mr. Tony Stank Day!

You know how much I love elaborate comments like these???? 😭😭😭 I will ALWAYS and I repeat always make our Tony feel safe and loved in all my fluffy smutty fics. Even the angsty ones. Baby deserves it all and more!

I so wish he existed in real life! Ugh. Wouldn’t it be amazing? Just fifteen thousand Tony Starks and no Pepper 😂

Thank you for your comments, dear anon. You made my day.

#anon asks #the stark squad #nice things

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sharpth1ng · 1 year

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Binged debaser and now my brain is obsessively waiting for chapter 12. The characterization is too fucking good! I wasn’t in the fandom before and randomly looked for fic because I revisited the movie recently and forgot how gay it was omg. Speaking of do you have any stuilly fic recs ?

Hey thank you so much! And yeah the movie is incredibly gay, was written by a gay man, has since admitted that the gayness was there in coding, ITS GAY.

I did a pass through my bookmarks for you- and tbh I'm bad at remembering to bookmark stuff sometimes so there are def some missing, don't take this as a definitive list. They're all from AO3 so I'm def missing stuff posted elsewhere too. Also most of these are 18+, always read the tags.

Some recs for completed fics:

cut me, sharpen me by gay villains This is hands down my fave stuilly fic, it got me to start writing debaser and also inspired the bathroom scene in chapter 9. HOT AS HELL. (oneshot)

Forever and Ever and Ever & those deep waters by Negen These have a really interesting, poetic and slightly abstract writing style, a little angsty, but also beautiful.

Some kind of Soulmates by somethingscarlet13 This is some fluffy old man shit. They're married. It's soft. Billy is SOFT. (oneshot)

Within these bones is an evil unknown by StuartLoomis Billy is smitten in this one. its pretty dang sweet. He still manages to convince himself he's being manipulative tho. I also really like the way they wrote Stu.(oneshot)

Full dark, no stars by savantgard This one is a dark little piece of smut, definitely angstier but hot tbh (oneshot)

Queer as in fuck you by touchydynamite A rare trans Billy fic! I really like the character exploration in this one but also watch out for the end, its canon compliant if you're wanting to avoid that (oneshot)

On the hunt (for costumes) by Urboyfriendsbraininmypocket Them being the worst, but it's also silly and smutty and they compare dicks in a changing room. What more could you want? (three chapters)

Love struck idiot by Pokeshadow Exploring your best friends body by choking him and seeing where it goes. Pretty fun tbh, pretty hot. (oneshot)

Die to feel your touch by empirestrikesback Short piece of character exploration, has some really great lines (oneshot)

You'll be the death of me by nayfem Another shorter character exploration, a little angsty but also funny in parts, and the Stu and Randy interactions are a lot of fun. (oneshot)

Incomplete fics:

Time to cash in by liver alone Really promising start, might be abandoned but still a good read. Author also has a Randy/Stu oneshot if you're into that.

All aboard again (crazy but that's how it goes) by manubibi Set after the newest scream movie, with an alive Stu who just got out of prison and wants to be there for Sam. Good tragic shit. Plus ohhh the Billy hallucinations that Stu has (😭)

Two Pandora's Boxes by CrystalClear201521 Loving the characterization of kid Billy in this, gave me the drive to start writing my own young Billy and Stu. Angsty also, ngl.

The Bends by dogmeatstew Angsty again, but not too much, just like, the amount that comes pre-packaged with Billy Loomis. Also the Bends (like the full album) is definitively a Billy album, I used it in debaser too (the song he listens to on repeat in chapter 11 is from this album).

#stuilly fic recs #debaser fanfic #ask

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aldbooks · 2 years

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By special request, a continuation of my Gwynriel angst prompt “when did you start lying to me?” but with a smutty ending.

So... angsty smut? Or smutty angst? You decide

---

Azriel froze a foot from the door as her words hit him with the force of a war hammer.

"Because I was scared."

"Scared." He repeated the word as though it were foreign to him. Whirling around, he found her on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. His anger from before deflated a fraction. The tears spilling from her eyes tore at his heart, but he would not let himself comfort her. Not until he had answers.

He needed to know.

Needed to know what he had done, where he had gone so wrong, that she did not trust him enough to tell him the truth. To keep something so momentous from him.

"You were scared?" he asked numbly. "Of what?"

"You."

He went wholly still. Even his shadows seemed thrown by this response, finally deigning to come out from hiding behind him to peer over his shoulder at him. Mate, they seemed to say mournfully.

"Of- me?" The words burned as he choked them out.

Gwyn sighed, scrubbing her face with her hands. "Not you, exactly. But your reaction."

"How so? What did you think I would do?"

She looked up at him them, but whatever she was attempting to convey in those seaglass eyes of hers, he did not understand.

With another sigh, she got to her feet, apparently not wanting to have this conversation on the ground, and leaned against the wall once more. "Azriel, I love you-" those words sucked the very air from him, though she did not seem to notice. "But you are perhaps the most doggedly determined person I know, aside from myself. From the way you've spoken in the past of the females you cared for... it was so- possessive-"

"Possessive?" He stalked back across the room towards her, aghast. Was that what she'd thought he would think? That she belonged to him? The very idea was abhorrent. Gwyn was her own person, as she often liked to remind him. She belonged to no one but herself, and he had never dared to think otherwise.

"Yes," she said, watching him warily. "The way you spoke of them- the obviously jealousy you felt for the attention they gave others and not you. The obessesive way you pursued them, even after they made their disinterest clear..."

Whatever else she said, he barely heard it as his anger rose again, thundering in his mind like a living creature. All those old insecurities that he thought he'd buried came roaring back to life. Not good enough. Too damaged. Worthless.

"...At first I just wanted a chance to know you, this male who'd rescued me. To know if what I'd felt the night was real. I knew it was the minute I saw you again, but I still didn't know you... I was worried that you might- you might push too far. That the bond might drive you to- might make you desire what I was not ready to-"

Her words cut off with a startled scream as his fist landed on the wall beside her face. He blinked, startled himself to find he had even moved, let alone thrown a punch at the wall, cracking the wood.

"I- sorry, I-"

Gwyn cringed away from him, into the corner, but they were already standing so close to it she only managed to move a few inches. He backed off slightly, holding up his hands. "I'm sorry."

She only stared at him, for once showing a fear he'd never seen in her Not even the night they'd met, when he'd been covered in the blood of the males he'd just killed. Perhaps she was right to be scared of him. He couldn't even control his anger around her, how did he expect her to trust her body to him? Her heart?

But she'd given him that already, hadn't she?

"Azriel, I love you-"

Or perhaps that had been a lie too.

"Is that what you think of me?" he asked, his throat tight. "You think I would- that I would try to force you?"

Her eyes went wide. "No! No, of course not. I- I do know you better than that but... I know the mating instinct is stronger for males. I knew it would push you claim me- to be with me- but I wasn't ready for any of that. Not just the physical things, I wasn't ready for a relationship either. And... the longer I waited to tell you, the harder it was. It never seemed to be the right time..."

They stared at each other, Azriel wanting to forgive her, to go to her, to touch her, taste her, breath her in- but he held off, still hurt.

"I do though," she said after a moment. "Want those things now, I mean."

There was a giddy fluttering in his chest that he tried to suppress. She wanted him. She loved him. Had chosen him. But none of this made up for the fact that she had lied to him. Might have kept on lying to him for cauldron knew how long, had he not found out the way he did.

"But you don't trust me," he said, his voice low.

"I do," she insisted. He moved suddenly, boxing her in. She gasped, jerking slightly.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. He could feel his shadows behind him now, climbing around him to cocoon them in darkness, hiding them from the outside world. He could still see her, though. Could see the steadiness in her gaze as she nodded.

"Yes."

In a flash, he had her spun around from him, her body wedged between him and the wall. He could hear her nervous breaths, feel her trembling, could smell the mixture of fear and desire wafting off of her.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, sliding his hands up along her sides. She shivered, but nodded.

One hand found the end of her braid, wrapping it around his fist and tilting her head to the side, while the other wrapped around her belly, pressing her firmly against him. He dragged the tip of his nose along the smooth column of her neck, inhaling loudly as something predatory and primal took over him.

"Tell me to stop, Gwyn," he said, almost pleadingly, against her ear. Her scent was driving him mad. Now that he knew of the existence of the bond, even if it had not snapped into place for him yet, he could feel the urge to claim her. It burned low and hot within him.

He heard her suck in a shaky breath, but she said not a word. Now was not the time for misunderstanding though. Not when he felt like this. Not with the history between them, the knowledge of what she had been through. He needed to hear her say it.

"Tell me to stop, Gwyn," he repeated.

"N-no," she breathed. "I trust you."

A growl worked its way up his throat. "Now is not the time to say what you think will appease me-"

"I'm not," she snapped, now sounding angry herself. "Quite frankly, I'm insulted you think I would."

He nearly laughed at that. She was right. Gwyn had never done anything to appease him. She had the ability to both soothe him, and aggravate in a way no one else could. She never backed down from him, no matter how bull headed he was being. Never took the easy way. She liked a good fight, his Gwyn.

So, he'd give her one now.

He pulled them both back from the wall enough for him to reach a hand around her and begin unbuckling the straps that held her leathers in place. He moved slowly, checking to see if she would object with each one he unfastened, each new inch of skin he bared. She did not object, bracing one hand against the wall while laying the other over his own hand, beginning to guide him to the next buckle, and the next.

Soon, her top hung open, and he could see the smooth expanse of skin between her breasts. "Tell me to stop," he said, reaching his hand back up and slipping it beneath the soft lining of her leathers to palm her breast. It was the perfect handful, not too small, not too large. Made just for him.

She arched into him, her breathing uneven. "Don't stop," she panted.

Azriel swallowed a groan as he obeyed.

They continue their discussion later. Figure out what all of this meant, and how to move forward once they got home. Right now, he just wanted to feel...

#gwyn x azriel #gwyn and azriel #gwynriel #gwyneth x azriel #azriel and gwyn #azriel x gwyn

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shuadotcom · 2 years

Text

Hate U | JHS (M)

→ Summary: Your relationship with Hoseok wasn’t that serious. It was just fun and casual until the realization that you’re catching feelings for him hits you hard. The only rational thing to do is to avoid him… that is until you can’t anymore.

→ Pairing: CEO!Hoseok x Female!Reader

→ Genre & AU: Angst, smut, pwp, friends w/benefits au, office au, ceo au

→ Rating: 18+ | R (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)

→ Warnings: Profanity, weed, alcohol, dirty talk, spanking, fingering, squirting, oral (male receiving), cumshot, Sir!kink

→ Words: 5.2k

→ Note: Written for the Suits & Ties collab hosted by @sugakookitty! Songspo: I Hate U - SZA

Thank you to @yutasthetic for being a wonderful beta reader and to @sugakookitty for making this amazing banner!! Took me a few months to even get my brain working to write again but here she is in her angsty smutty glory!

“Hey, Y/n, are you coming out to grab dinner with us?” Victoria’s dark hair cascades over your computer screen as she leans over her cubicle wall into your space. Frowning, you shake your head.

“Nah, I have a very important meeting, remember?” You roll your eyes as you repeat the words your boss said to you during lunch. You, Victoria, and another co-worker were eating lunch in the cafeteria when Hoseok, in all his uber friendly, sunny CEO glory, found you and asked (see: demanded) you stay late for a critical meeting about a project you’re in charge of.

“Oh damn, that’s right. You’re going to the principal’s office,” Victoria teases. “Do you think he’ll tell you to scrap the whole project?”

“He better fucking not. I’ll quit if he does.” But, of course, you won’t, which Victoria knows, but not for the reason she thinks.

She makes another detention joke before promising to take a shot for you and saying goodbye. Your smile drops as you watch Victoria and a few other co-workers gather and head out of the office. A handful of others file out after a few minutes, and soon you’re all alone.

If you sit up and look directly across the room, you can see Hoseok’s closed office door. The light from within peers through the closed slots of the blinds, and you have to build yourself up to finally decide to head over.

Victoria and everyone else believe the words he said earlier about going over one of your projects but you know it’s a lie. You’ve been avoiding his calls and texts for a week and anytime he’d try and corner you in the office, you managed to dodge him, except for today.

Your knock on his door resonates through the silent space, causing you to flinch slightly. You try twice more before deciding to just go in, turning the cold knob with a deep breath.

Stepping into the warmly lit office, you immediately see Hoseok on the balcony of his office, the glass door shut as he leans against the rail. His cellphone is to his ear and when he spots you, he holds a finger up to you, indicating that he’ll be a minute as he continues to chat away on the phone.

Shutting and locking the door behind you, you make yourself comfortable on the cloth couch in the room, fidgeting as you watch him. His suit jacket is off, his white silk button-down and tie both loose on his body, billowing in the light breeze outside.

Hoseok plucks a lit joint from the ashtray balancing on the railing in front of him and takes a long drag. He holds the smoke in his chest as he makes a few nods of acknowledgment into the phone. He tilts his head back and blows perfect smoke rings up to the sky.

The sight is reminiscent of your ill-fated meeting with your boss during last year’s office holiday party.

“I need some air, I’ll be back,” You called over your shoulder, waving goodbye to Victoria and a few other co-workers on the dancefloor. Your company had rented out an entire event hall for your holiday party complete with an unlimited cap on the bar, a TV chef in the kitchen, and a well-known DJ playing nothing but bangers.

It was the most fun you’ve had at any company-sponsored event in your whole working career, but a breath of fresh air was needed. You couldn’t help but grab glasses of champagne, one for now and a second for later, on your way to the furthest balcony door for a few moments to yourself.

Inhaling as you open the door, you anticipated the crisp December air to hit your nose, but instead, the smell of weed is the first scent you encountered. It didn’t take any time at all before you saw none other than your boss’ boss, CEO Jung Hoseok staring back at you, wide-eyed.

Both of you froze, eyeing one another. You with two glasses of champagne in hand and him with a blunt dangling from his mouth.

“Hey,” he said, quickly overcoming his shock and flashing you one of his infamous, infectious smiles.

“Hi.” You couldn’t help but offer a grin in return.

He didn’t object as you walked over to join him and relaxed as you leaned on the balcony next to him, looking out at the city lights below.

“You smoke?” He asked casually.

“Yeah.” You offered him one of your glasses in exchange and he eagerly nodded, swapping the glass for his weed.

It didn’t take long before the two of you fell scarily easy into conversation. Only a few puffs had you feeling relaxed and coupled with the top-shelf drinks you’d been sipping all night, it felt less like you were talking to your boss and more like flirting with a charming stranger.

You had been with the company for almost a year and still didn’t know much about the man who ran it. All you knew was what the press knew: he and his family moved to America from South Korea when he was in elementary school and he started this company with his college roommate.

Hoseok quickly fixed that, making it clear that he’s an oversharer when he’s not sober. He told you all about his sister, who’s a fashion designer, his parents who own a successful chain of Korean restaurants across the country, and how he accidentally launched this million-dollar tech start-up because he was bored of dealing weed on the side of his shitty part-time college job.

You learned more about Jung Hoseok in the span of thirty minutes than you had since you started working here but you don’t mind. Typically, people that talk too much about themselves were an instant turn-off, but Hoseok was just too funny, captivating, and too unfairly handsome that you let it slide.

At some point in the night, you moved close enough that your sides were touching and his hand started to wander to your hips. From there, his hand found all of your curves and dips and you admired just how strong he felt beneath his shirt. You still don’t remember who moved first, but when the champagne glasses were empty and all of the weed was gone, you moved on to each other’s mouths, tongues intertwined and fists full of formal attire.

Your night ended in you fucking your CEO in an empty bathroom stall, mouth shoved full of his tie to muffle the feral moans he forced out of you.

Hoseok laughs loudly and abruptly on the balcony, the sound like a melody as it cuts your reminiscing short. He glances your way then, sending you a wink, promptly flustering you as you avert your eyes.

Your reaction serves as a reminder of how things between you and Hoseok changed after last year’s party. He went from just the boss to your friend with benefits.

During your 5 day work week, Hoseok continued to be his notorious, overtly friendly self to everyone as normal, but behind closed office doors and dark hallways, he was shoving his hands into your panties and cumming down your throat.

Work hookups shifted to after-work hookups which turned further to weekends spent at Hoseok’s condo having sex and getting high and you were more than happy with it at first until you begrudgingly began to feel more than lust stirring for him.

The more time together you spent together, the more you learn all about Hoseok and his quirks, his likes, dislikes, and overly flirty tone aside, there isn’t much you dislike about him. For the past six months, his presence was a staple in your day-to-day life and you hated that you can’t see yourself without Hoseok somewhere in it.

This is why you’ve been avoiding him. It was your last-ditch effort to combat the growing fondness in your heart for Hoseok. It doesn’t seem to work particularly well, but any progress will surely be halted tonight. It’s clear Hoseok knows you’re purposely staying away from him, and he’s likely to make you pay for it.

“Hey, Y/n, sorry about that,” Hoseok leaves the balcony door open as he comes in, tucking his phone in his pocket. “Yoongi needed to go over some last-minute numbers for the merger.” You nod along as he mentions his newest potential business partner, eyes fixating on his every move as he beelines to his office mini-bar, pouring you both drinks.

He turns towards you, grinning from ear to ear as he moves across the room drinks in hand.

“Thank you,” you take the glass from him and sip. Your favorite wine. “So what did you want to see me about?” You try your damndest to sound casual.

It doesn’t work and Hoseok sets his drink down next to him so he can drape his arm over you. His fingers dance across your bare shoulder as he takes a hit of his still lit blunt before answering.

“Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t know. Why exactly have you been avoiding me?”

“Have I?” Hoseok looks at you, clearly not buying your faux ignorance.

“Don’t bullshit me, Y/n. I’ve had a shit day and wanted to finally spend time with you,” he sighs, blowing a puff of smoke towards the ceiling. “I don’t know how I survived all week without you and your beautiful pussy.”

You force out a snort to hopefully hide the sound of your heart racing. “He’s just being flirty. Don’t take it seriously.” Hoseok, the always positive always flirty man that he is. Always making you laugh and making you feel more special than anyone else he's seeing and sometimes you let yourself be delusional and think he really means it.

Shaking off the butterflies, you snatch the blunt from him, taking a long drag and passing it back. “It was only a week. I was just busy is all.” You shrug, trying desperately to be on guard. It doesn’t last long as the fingers on your shoulder trail down to graze your nipple through your shirt and you jump.

“Well, now it’s just you and me here so you can be busy with me.” His voice is a trap: laced with sugar, spice, and everything naughty that you know him to be capable of.

“Wow, so you’re that into me huh?” It’s a joke to his ears of course, but you wish more than anything he’d say yes and truly mean it.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” The way he says it makes your hands clammy and you instinctively wipe them on your skirt.

Hoseok leans forward to place soft kisses on your face and neck as nimble fingers trail lower until they’re playing with the buttons on your blouse, undoing each one painfully slow. When he gets the fabric open and slips it off of your shoulders, his fingers are warm as they graze over your bra, brushing against your already hardening nipples.

“You smell so good. You always smell so good,” he mumbles between kisses on your neck. It’s embarrassing how quickly the icy wall you’ve been building to push him and your feelings for him away gets melted into a pathetic puddle. With each kiss, each nibble, each flick of your nipples, you relax in his arms more and more until you’re panting and pushing your body closer to him.

No one should be able to have you like this, yet here is Jung Hoseok, driving you absolutely crazy in every sense of the word.

Once he skillfully undoes your bra and tosses it aside, he takes a long, ring decorated finger and slips under your skirt, rubbing you softly over your panties and it’s enough to have you almost leap off the couch.

“Just as sensitive as always I see.” He muses, clearly enjoying how you fall apart at the mere touch of his finger against your clit. Hoseok reaches under your skirt completely, teasing your entrance momentarily before slipping inside.

“Oh fuck,” gasping, you drop your head onto his shoulder, inhaling his familiar Hoseok scent of weed and woody Hermes cologne.

He presses kisses along your forehead as he fucks you with one finger, then plunges another in. His other hand hanging around your shoulders inches down to roughly squeeze and play with your breasts. Your eyes slip close as you mewl out Hoseok’s name, barely keeping your grip on your half-full glass of wine.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. A beautiful girl making all these beautiful noises just for me.” His words drip with a sweetness that only serves to drive you crazier until your hips are moving in tandem with his hand, rushing you embarrassingly further to an orgasm. He’s fucking you hard with his fingers, easily rubbing against your g-spot with the push and pull of those talented painted digits.

“H-Hoseok I’m so close…”

“Cum then, baby. Cum for me, all over my fingers.” The timber of his voice, egging you on is enough to make you whimper his name and do exactly what he tells you to. Warm pricks of pleasure ripple through you, the tightly wound coil inside you releasing as you ride out your orgasm, Hoseok helping you through it with gentle caresses against your core.

“Such a good girl.” Hoseok always praises you when you’re together, but after avoiding him like you have this bout of praise shoots straight to your heart and ricochets straight to your pussy.

Looking up, you make eye contact with the man you want so desperately not to love. His face is flush as he glances back at you and he licks his lips. You already know he wants so much more from you and you want to give it to him.

You don’t think twice before you lean up and kiss him, pressing your lips together with desperation. Hoseok kisses back immediately, and the hand that was on your breast moves to cup your face with a gentleness that you hope he reserves only for you. Hoseok kisses with just as much passion as he fucks with. He licks into your mouth, sucks on your tongue, and glides his lips against yours as though he was always meant to kiss you and only you (which you know isn’t true but you like to pretend).

“Missed this pretty little mouth so much,” he breathes out when he pulls away to take your lip between his teeth. “Wanna use it and show me you missed me?” Hoseok frames it as a question, but you already know it’s more of a command than anything.

Without hesitation, you pull away and empty your glass in one go, then proceed to make your way to the floor in front of him. The white shag rug is soft under your knees and you try to focus more on that than the thumping of your heart. Hoseok sits above you, legs spread as he unbuttons his shirt, opening it to showcase his smooth, sculpted body.

Your hands make quick work of undoing his belt and fishing out his hard cock. You groan at the sight of him, hard and hot, leaking pre-cum for you.

“Mmm, someone’s eager. Missed my cock that much huh?” He smirks down at you before taking another puff of his blunt.

“Yes I did,” you pout and you mean it in more ways than one. Leaning forward you lap at the head of his cock, his hips jerking immediately at the contact. You don’t hesitate to begin sucking him off with the utmost sense of urgency. You want so badly for him to fuck you and can’t even feel ashamed.

“Fuck, Y/n, ” Hoseok throws his head back against the couch. “Just like that.” Large hands reach down to grip your head, stroking your cheeks, forehead, anywhere Hoseok can reach.

His cock is heavy and hot on your tongue, his pre-cum dripping down your throat. You revel in the taste of Hoseok and the way he chants your name over and over again. It only spurs you on to suck him down even sloppier, spit pooling in the corners of your mouth and dripping onto your breasts. You gag each time you take him in, but you won’t stop until he tells you to.

“Let me fuck your face, baby girl.” Going lax almost immediately, you release your hold on his length, and let Hoseok adjust to start thrusting up into your mouth at his own speed. His fingers press into your scalp and it hurts in the most delicious way possible.

Tears prick your eyes as his cock slams into the back of your throat over and over again, having you choking and gagging with each movement. Fuck, you love it when he’s rough with you. It helps you stay away from romanticizing him, only some of the time.

Hoseok is never quiet about the way you pleasure him and this is no exception. Hums and huffs and words of praise come from him, each one having you clenching harder and aching for him even more.

As if he knows how much you’re anticipating him, which he likely does, he pulls out of your throat suddenly and cups your head as you pant for air. Hoseok gazes down at your debauched state and leans down to kiss you again, keeping your lips locked as he stands you up and walks you over to his desk. He keeps you in his hold as he fishes in one of his desk drawers for what you assume is a condom.

Your lower back knocks against the wood, the molding pressing into your skin more the harder he kisses you. Any thought of avoiding him or pushing your feelings away is long since abandoned. If giving into Hoseok with a single kiss or a single grope makes you pathetic, then so be it. You’ll be pathetic for Hoseok as long as he never stops taking care of you the only way he can.

Hoseok pulls away first and turns you around, pressing himself against your back.

“Want you,” you rasp as he fondles your breasts from behind, placing kisses on your neck while he opens the square packet.

“Yeah, you want me?”

“Mmmm.”

“Fuck, I want you too. You kept yourself away from me for way too long.”

It’s easy for him to unzip your skirt and push it down your hips. Your panties come next, pooling with your skirt at your feet as he presses the pads of his fingers into the supple flesh of your ass. His skin is hot and sticky against yours, cock rubbing against your thighs, teasing you. The want for him is almost dizzying as your body buzzes with desire.

“You’re practically shaking for me, baby girl. You want my cock that bad, huh?”

“Mmhmm.” You nod as you mumble to him, but it’s not enough. A heavy hand smacks your ass, the sting making you yelp.

“Not loud enough, baby,” he chuckles, another slap against your ass nearly has your knees buckling. “I’ll ask you again, you want my cock that bad?”

“Yes! Y-yes please.”

Another spank against your tender skin. “Yes, who?”

“Yes sir! I want your cock so bad, Sir!” On cue, you clench your thighs together, hoping the sight of you underneath him will spur him on.

“That’s better. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but you better not forget your manners,” Hoseok tuts, following up with two more spanks, your ass burning in the best way possible from the impact.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” it’s a whisper as you momentarily recall your real feelings for Hoseok and why you’ve been trying to stay away from him, but all thought escapes you when Hoseok spreads your thighs, expertly finding your weeping pussy and shoves his cock into you. “Ahh!”

“There you go, baby. Keep making those pretty noises like that for me.” There’s a grin in Hoseok’s voice as his hands take hold of your hips. It’s easy to do as he says as he begins fucking you, rocking into you so hard you jolt into his desk over and over again.

There’s no fighting the way that Hoseok always knows how to make you feel good. He quickly learned all the places you like to be touched, the way you like to be kissed, and the positions you love to be fucked in the most. He knows you too well and you hate it - you hate him. You hate that he always knows you more than anyone.

Hoseok finds a tempo that can only be described as feverish. He’s making it clear that tonight is all about making up for the seven days you kept him away. Sometimes it’s slow and casual, both of you savoring one another and other times, like now, it’s nothing but a race to get off.

“I missed you all week, baby. Missed fucking you and touching you like this.” His words come out through gritted teeth as he plunges his cock in and out of you at a bruising pace. He fucks the breath out of you over and over and over again, leaving you with only enough air to babble out what sounds like nonsense to you.

“I’m gonna ruin this filthy little pussy of yours,” another hard thrust. “I’m gonna make a mess of you. Would you like that?”

“Yes, Sir. Please.”

“I know you would. My dirty little cockslut. I’m gonna cream this little pussy.”

“Sir! Please I’m so close!”

“Already? Do I make you that fucking wet? That needy for me that you’re ready to cum so fast?”

“Y-yes. I’m so close. Gonna cum for you.”

“Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my fat cock.” Hoseok’s words are lewd and his thrusts are rough and his hands are soft and it’s all too much.

Eyes screwing shut tight enough to hurt, you cum hard, screaming Hoseok’s name along with a flurry of ‘fucks’ and ‘pleases.’ You grasp at the desk underneath you to stay anchored as your knees completely give out under you, but Hoseok’s strong arms wrap around your waist to keep you upright. His hips don’t stop driving into yours and the pleasure quickly toes the line of pain as he doesn’t falter his pace at all.

“H-Hoseok, I - AHH!” Your sentence is cut off when Hoseok smacks your ass harder than earlier.

“What did you just say?”

“I - Sir! Sir, please I c-can’t!”

A teasing scoff reaches your ears. “Can’t or won’t?” Both of you know you can keep going, but your senses are even more on edge than before. You can feel every drag of his cock against your sensitive walls and every swing of his balls against you. His fingertips feel like needle pricks when he reaches down to toy with your clit.

“Sir!” Hoseok ignores your screeches and continues to rub your sensitive bud. You squeeze around him and a growl of your name leaves his mouth.

“Yeah, clamp down around my cock just like that. You’re gonna have to call off work tomorrow when I’m done with you. Gonna bruise this messy little cunt.” His words ring in your ears as he rocks against your body, plowing you further into the wooden desk. Skin slapping skin, Hoseok’s grunts, and the squelching of your juices echo in the room. For a moment you worry if anyone outside on the street below can hear you getting destroyed by your boss through his open balcony, but thoughts don't stay coherent in your mind for long.

“P-please…” you beg, your body tingling as your third orgasm creeps up.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, baby girl. So wet and tight for me. I love this pussy so much.”

“And I love you.” You can’t help but think. How can you even think something like that right now? You’re getting your guts rearranged and your heart has the audacity to jump at Hoseok saying the word love about you in any capacity.

The thought is thankfully fucked out of you with one particularly harsh thrust, Hoseok pushes a scream out of you. He drapes his large body over yours to fuck you deeper, his lips and teeth kissing and nipping at any part of you he can reach.

“Sir… Hoseok, please…” You sound pathetic even in your own ears. The tone only serves to spur Hoseok on as he calls out your name, his voice husky and full of lust.

“You ready for me, baby? Ready for me to cum all over you?”

With clenched fists, you cry out a yes right as you cum again. Stars explode behind your clenched eyelids as your juices squirt all over Hoseok, covering you both. Your mouth opens but you can barely tell if you even make any noise.

“Fuck, yes, make a mess all over me. This pussy is all mine, I love it so much, fuck!” Hoseok moans with his whole chest, hip bones digging into the flesh of your ass seconds before he pulls out. You barely have any energy, but you manage to lean up on your elbows to look behind you and watch as Hoseok yanks off the condom and jerks himself off once, twice, then he’s cumming all over your ass, hot ropes of cum painting your sore skin.

At some point, tears had welled up in your eyes, realizing your cheeks are damp with both sweat and tears.

“Shit, you’re so good for me, baby. So messy with my cum all over you.” Hoseok smirks down at you, reaching up to swipe at your face. “Aw, I’m sorry I made my baby cry.” Whether the tears came from Hoseok or your overactive brain, you smile anyway, the gesture feeling fake but he doesn’t seem to notice.

Instead, he stands up straight to stretch, your eyes following every muscle as it moves under his beautiful skin. He takes your hand and gently brings you to stand in front of his couch. Quickly, he grabs a few tissues and cleans the cooling cum off of your ass, then sits you down. He joins you after grabbing his earlier forgotten joint and relighting it. He hums as he scooches next to you still naked and takes a hit.

“You’re never allowed to leave me hanging that long again. Seriously, a week felt like a year.” He’s so casual with his words it makes you angry. The idea of him only missing sleeping with you whilst you missed every bit and piece of him feels unfair.

“Like, no one else I’ve been with ever makes me feel like you. Especially not this week. Like this one girl, I met up with the other night? Couldn’t give me a blowjob anywhere near as breathtaking as you. You’re the only one I wanna get high with and fuck.” You swat away his hand when he offers you his weed. How can he just sit here and say something so casual about fucking other people?!

“Goddamnit, Hoseok! You drive me fucking insane!” Your outburst surprises even you, but you can’t take it back now.

He blinks at you, truly clueless. “What did I do?!”

“You walk around the office laughing and smiling at every girl you see and I’ve even seen you flirting with them! How do you think that makes me feel?!”

“Oh come on, you know me, Y/n. I’m too fucking friendly for my own good.”

“Yeah, no shit! You do the same to me and it makes me so confused because you can go from fucking me stupid to talking about how you’ve fucked someone else. Sometimes I really hate you, you know. Like, do you know how all these mixed signals make me feel?!”

“Huh? Y/n, you know I like you right? You’re special to me and I always tell you that.”

“Yeah, Hoseok you do. And you tell me how much you love fucking me and eating me out and smoking with me and that’s always all it ever is with you!”

The words come out faster than you can stop them. The confusion on Hoseok’s face has you wishing the floor would open up and consume you already.

“Y/n, listen, I -”

“Actually, never mind.” You rush to gather your clothes, pulling your skirt on backward.

“Hey, wait I’m sorry if I hurt you or something. I just really like spending time with you. You’re special to me.”

But he doesn’t like you as more than what you are now. It’s obvious. He isn’t trying to hurt your feelings but it does hurt - so fucking much.

“Just forget I said anything, okay. Thanks for tonight.” Your buttons are done up haphazardly but you don’t want to cry in front of Hoseok so you leave it as is.

Before you can open the door, his hand is on yours, stopping you in your tracks.

You turn to him and anticipate his next words. “Let me know when you get home, okay?” His brown orbs are rimmed red, eyelids drooping as he watches you. If you’re lucky, he’ll be too high to remember you pouring yourself out to him and getting nothing in return.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Get home safe.”

You’re out the door after that and it’s not until you’re out of the office, out of the building, and in your car do you let yourself cry. With blurred vision and a bruised heart, you make it home somehow.

Even after everything you text Hoseok, letting him know you’re safe.

[Hoseok] Good :)

He stops typing after that, then starts, then stops again. Wiping away the tears that refuse to dry, you hold your breath, waiting to see what else he possibly has to say.

[Hoseok] If you need to take tomorrow off, that’s fine. Sleep well.

That’s all he says. You feel empty. You haven’t gotten outright rejected like this since high school and it fucking hurts. Hurts so much more than any foolish school crush.

[You] Thanks.

Your night is somber as you silently go about your routine and climb into bed without dinner, no semblance of an appetite in sight. The only thing that haunts you is Hoseok which isn’t uncommon, but this time it’s not the positive, bright times with him. It’s the heartbreaking reality that you love him so much more than you thought you already did and now it just hurts.

Thinking of him and being with him, it’s like you’re swallowing glass and you can’t breathe at the mere thought of him. Tomorrow will be hell and seeing him in the office hallways will suffocate you, so you decide you won’t go in tomorrow. You’ll stay in bed and get a three-day weekend to yourself to wallow in self-pity.

Even so, in the back of your mind, you just know that come a new workweek, you’ll still go running to Hoseok’s office when no one is around. Hell, you wouldn’t even be surprised at yourself if you let him come to your apartment this weekend if he asks. In your love-drunk heart, you know that having Hoseok superficially is better than not having him at all, even if it contorts your heart in your chest. Even if it makes you hate him and hate yourself more for giving in, at the end of the day, you can’t help who you fall for; and you finally accept that you truly have fallen for Hoseok even though he doesn’t and may never, feel the same.

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