#anime tiddy club

[themaymorning]

I need a list of people who would suck on them 🫣

[dylanturnidge]

Rem Re:Zero

[jacevelaryonswife]

After Dark | Part One

He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

pairing: female stripper!reader x modern!osferth | some moments of finan and sihtric.

warnings: smut, p in v sex, tiddy sucking, oral sex (m receiving). English is NOT my first language. 4,1k of words.

after dark masterlist

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A black cape and a crown-like prop was all that could be seen of the woman on stage, making Osferth even more anxious for whatever happened next.

He was a virgin in this, in this kind of environment. Throughout his life the thought of being in a den of carnality was never considered, his religiosity more fervent than most of the people with whom he lived acted as a wall to avoid such a path, however, there was no guilt or shame in his chest at that moment, just a natural embarrassment to be exposed to such a scope. He was a good boy, very polite, humorous, witty and with good social skills, but when it came to going further with girls the scenario was different, scarier, shy and sloppy.

His first time was with a girl in college. She was sweet enough to guide the rhythm, they all guided the rhythm with him — which Osferth found very satisfying. He learned that he liked the lady in control, showing how, when and where he should touch her. In addition, his position was easier than taking control and having to concentrate so as not to end up too fast. He was a shrewd little shit in the end.

But none of that crossed his mind, not when all the lights went out again and an engaging melody echoed through the club making him mortally anxious and excited.

And then, exactly at the same time that the warm orange tone set fire to the stage and a male voice accompanied the instrumental, you were in full display to the audience with a wild posture. The cover that hid your body focused on the floor to reveal the simple black lingerie with props decorating both arms and a large yellow snake wrapped from his neck to his waist. You were absolutely stunning and sensual, especially when your hips began to move at a slow and seductive pace, almost graceful if you were not wanton, totally capturing his attention.

Watching her strolling in the night so white, wondering: Why It's only after dark?

Your eyes closed to sink in the music as you moved your body gently, handling the snake with a frightening naturalness even with the animal curling around your body. What if it suffocated you? Osferth thought dissuaded.

“Aye, mate, she seems to deal with snakes a lot,” Finan whispered without taking his eyes off the image of the woman ahead.

In her eyes, a distant fire lights, burns bright, wondering: Why it's only after dark?

And then when your eyes opened Osferth could swear that your irises were on fire, leaving your aura even more overwhelming than possible. You were not entangled in any poledance, which made your eyes travel along the audience with greater ease and stop in the direction of his. No, don't be stupid, she didn't look at me.

But he wanted it to be true. He wanted your fire to surround him in the crowd and burn him slowly.

Find myself in her room, feel the fever of my doom. Falling falling throught the floor, I'm mocking on the devils door.

And maybe Osferth's perception was right. Maybe you were really contemplating the young lamb ahead as a hungry louse, but that wasn’t an ordinary look, no, he felt almost invaded in his intimate space, as if you knew what he was thinking as you moved as gracefully as petals in contact with the wind. Not even when the other dancers collected the snake from your shoulders did the weight of your gaze soften, no, quite the contrary, your attention was clearly fixed on the central figure in front of the stage as you slowly floated on your bare feet.

Oh God, it couldn't be real.

Were you really coming towards him?"

In the dawn I wake up to find her gone, and a note, says: “Only after dark”.

Yes, you- No, I wasn't.

Moving a few centimeters to where Sihtric was, you went on to face him, dangerously approaching the threshold of the stage to caress him with your foot along his chest, abdomen and very close to his groin. "Can I, handsome?" You asked after stopping your movements and retreating your foot until you gently touched the base of the beer glass in front of it, receiving a positive nod. “Take it for me,” your order was firm and a little smooth. "Open your mouth."

After a few seconds, a feline and satisfied smile adorned your beautiful face when the Dane leaned over to receive the beer falling on a thread in his mouth, having his hair caressed during the process. “Such a good boy,” you praised him by handing him the glass to turn your attention to the young man next door.

Osferth's eyes sparkled when you stopped in front of him and moved your hips as you went down until your faces were level, leaving him redder than a ripe cherry. Your presence made his breathing fail and emitted enough heat to warm him on a harsh winter day, your firm and sweetnessous voice throwing a warm cloud towards him.

“Happy birthday, sweetie.”

"Thank you ma'am," he replied so quickly that he didn't realize the formal term. He's niver seen a woman like you before.

"Not so old yet, dear," you sent him the sexiest smile he ever received, apparently having fun with how disconcerted he seemed.

“He's just shy, sunshine,” Finan said with his accent thicker than usual.

Your attention was divided between the two men, looking at the Irishman while holding Osferth's chin with your warm touch. "Is he? I love shy little things," the savagery shone in your eyes, "especially when they are as handsome and blushing as you." You approached his face until your noses were touching.

His heart beat faster than a deer cornered by hunters and he was sure that if your lips kept shaving against his it would be even more difficult to hide the bulge between his pants. Maybe you had already noticed giving the open smile as you picked up the ballots that were thrown in your direction, getting up and walking to the central poledance. You took the prop off your head and threw it at the audience to the delight of them. Osferth was too static for his reflection to be fast enough to reach the object, luckily Finan was faster than the others and handed him over.

"Keep it."

Burning, burning in the flame, now I know her secret name. You can tear her temple down, but she'll be back and rule again.

Your movements were mesmerizing and precise, lavishing flexibility and sensuality to get him on his knees. When your feet touched the floor, you slowly sent your hands to your back towards the closure of the bra, looking at the audience that began to encourage your next act. He wasn't prepared for that. Especially when you looked at him and shook your head negatively. Several men howled asking to see your body, screaming, begging, making your laugh with malice and a hint of cruelty, denying them again

In my heart, a deep and dark lonely part wants her and waits for after dark.

Osferth realized that he wanted to feel the touch on his skin again, no, he needed to feel it.

After dark

He wanted your savage look only in his direction.

After dark

He wanted the overwhelming aura cornering him again.

After dark

He wanted everything.

God, he was lost.

“That's what I call a fucking show!” Finan's scream burst the bubble of lust that enveloped him, reminding him to breathe again.

Osferth never wanted so much to be subdued by a lady before. But unfortunately he was not the only one with the same thought and worried him even more when thousands of ballots were thrown in his direction.

“She's mine,” said a guy behind him.

"Not fucking. Leave that to me,” Finan said as he got up abruptly from his chair, going somewhere inside the club.

His mind was too stunned to reason what had just happened clearly, but he was warm and excited and it didn't matter if you slept with him just for the money, he wanted to have the damn experience. Fortunately Sihtric kept silent for a long time before asking Osferth what he had found, receiving a simple "It was good" from the blonde.

“I see,” the Dane laughed.

Of course he saw it, which in itself made him want to succumb.

“Where did Finan go?” He asked.

“Probably looking for your birthday present,” he replied bluntly, sending a very significant look.

What?

“What?” The youngest asked with wide eyes. Was he serious?

"Your birthday present," Sihtric repeated again, "You don't have to be nervous, she'll know what to do but I imagine it won't be cheap."

It wasn't a problem (depending on how much you were going to charge).

"What if she doesn't want to?" The question was genuine.

He took a long sip of what was left of his beer. “She is a stripper, wins who pays better and maybe someone pays better than Finan. I'm sorry for that."

Would you reject him? Yes, you could... but he wished so much that he didn't. It was anxious minutes waiting for the Irishman, his hands were sweating when he noticed other men going the same way as his friend went, however, only one of them came back faster than a man having his first time and made Osferth's heart accelerate.

“Come with me, quickly,” Finan almost dragged him from the chair down the same corridor. "They have rooms here, which turns out to be more expensive than the girl going to your house, but she was very clear about not going to cleintes' houses, ya see? Now, don't ask questions and enjoy the evening."

It was a lot to deal with in such a short time, but Osferth shook his head and asked:

“How much was it?"

"Don’t worry about it, she was very generous with ya."

"What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed.

"She's a premium girl and doesn't accept anyone. Logically, someone with our cash condition wouldn't handle it, but she liked ya. I'll still have to pay because of the percentage of the bosses, but it's much less than the whole amount," he explained as fast as he can given the proximity to the room, putting some packages of condoms in his pocket. “Now, go get her tiger. And I'll keep her crown,” he took the prop from the youngest's hands.

Being dropped in front of the door, Osferth took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall, arranging his hair and clothes before depositing fearful knocks against the door. Sweat accumulated in his hands and he wiping them on the side of his pants, taking a deep breath when his sweet permission filled his ears. The vision that presented you as soon as you entered the dark room with neon lights was of you sitting on the edge of the bed with a suggestive smile.

“Hi, sweet boy. Lock the door and come to me."

He almost cred towards you, stopping a few centimeters ago when you got up and stroked his cheek. "What's your name?"

His voice was flawed and nervous when answering: "It's Osferth, lady."

“Osferth. What a beautiful name,” you hummed. "What do you want me to do it?"

Everything. He wanted everything.

“I...” his neck warmed up when he tried to express what he would like to happen. His gaze fell on his feet in shame, unable to face yours for a long time. "I… I want you."

"Do you want me? How?” Your question was calm, with no intention of scaring you. “Physically? A conversation?”

“Physically.”

“Do you want me to take control, dear?"

Yes, for God's sake, yes.

“Yes, yes. I want it, please,” he begged with puppy eyes and a lovely pout.

A bright and satisfied smile shone in your features as you leaned against his lips.

“Okay sweetie, just relax, I’ll take care of you,” your hand circled the back of his neck while the other held the other side of his neck, starting a slow kiss that made his skin warm up.

His hands were surprisingly fast in wrapping your body and breaking any minimum existing distance, delighting in the radiated heat and the sensual way that your lips moved, your tongue asking for access to experience it calmly, but firmly, causing him a low moan when your fingers pulled some of the delicate threads from the nape of the neck. "Such a beautiful boy. I want to hear more where this sound came from."

Your lips connected again in a moist and sensual web that dissipated part of his apprehension. Osferth didn’t want to have sex with you because of Finan or any factor that could be associated, he wanted you because his desire consumed him with a burning and unknown urgency. He wanted you even more when your bold fingers climbed inside the shirt to throw it somewhere on the floor, caressing the milky skin with the tip of your nails and marking it with wet kisses along the jaw and neck.

Would people know what happened when they saw your claim about him? Finan and Sihtric for sure yes and he couldn't even care about the provocations he would hear.

Osferth returned to reality when your caresses stopped and your body went back to bed. "Take off your clothes for me, honey."

His neck warmed up again and he realized that you liked it a lot when he acted like a helpless sheep. He had a nice body, but it probably wasn't the coolest you've ever seen — he tought, made him even more shy.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of pretty boy, you're really good looking. Come here.”

He was sure from there that you were bewitching him like a succubus ready to devour him body and soul. There was no fear in the way he discarded his shoes and pants and went to meet him with the condom between his fingers.

"Good boy," you purred, pulling him into a demanding kiss as you sat on his lap, grinding in his bulge.

Holy J- you were a fucking provocation. His hands circled your waist and back, unconsciously (or consciously?) Encouraging your lascivious movements that made him grunt softly. “So precious, like a little lamb,” your hands pushed him lying against the mattress, kissing him sensually. Feeling bold and extremely aroused, Osferth requested access to your mouth with his tongue, gently leaning against you and moaning when you gently sucked the tip of his tongue. Your taste was citrus with a pinch of adocity and an alcoholic background, like a tropical drink. Your lips ran through the jaw, neck and velvety torso, leaving a moist trail of lust.

For a moment, when you pulled his underwear down with your teeth, he forgot to breathe properly.

“Has any girl go down on you before?” Your question brought him back to reality for a short time.

"N-no."

"Shame on them," licking your hand, you grabbed the base of his cock and masturbated him slowly. "You have such a beautiful cock." Oh heaven. Your hand was working so well, much better than any time he touched himself. "You want me to use my mouth, my sweet Osferth."

“Yes please, please.”

"Good boy."

Even absorbed, Osferth caught it when you took the condom and wrapped it in the length of it, lowering it with a smile on your face to grab it like a popsicle. He moaned loudly and held your hair instinctively but without pulling. It was almost heavenly to have your mouth taking him in such a provocative and wanton way, so intense that he almost came when you moved the velvety balls.

Your provocation continued by concentrating your tongue on the coated tip that leaked pre cum, involving the bulbous part and sucking while moving the length with your hand. He was sure he went closest to the sky and came back when your warm mouth took him deep and vibrated around him, making him hold your hair more firmly. “Don't. Wait. I'm gonna-“

"You have an hour with me, dear, do you think you can give me more than one?" Your question was tempting, especially with the malice in your beautiful face and the continuous movement of your hand. "I'd love to feel you inside me."

Oh fuck, that immediately sent him to an intense peak and faster than he planned, but so overwhelming and hot that his legs burned. How sinful of him was to associate what you did with something heavenly, when in fact it was a blasphemy to the sacred. His body was red and a little sweaty, strong breathing and terribly satisfied. No other good girl has brought him such euphoria before.

No good girl removed the used condom and pumped it with ypur expenses on the summit of pleasure.

You certainly weren't a good girl.

"Did you like it?" Your question came after a while, lying next to him and gently caressing the contour of his chest.

“A lot. I've never... never been so good."

Your eyes sweetened as you contemplated his figure, receiving a satisfied smile in response.

"You're so sweet." You leaned over to chastely kiss his lips. "Any girl would be lucky to have someone like you."

His cheeks blushed and he looked away in shyness. You were being so nice. Maybe that's why he didn't calculate his next words. "Why are you here?" Oh no, idiot, why would I ask something like that? Your regret was almost instantaneous. "You don't have to answer, I'm sorry, it was an intimate question, I'm sorry."

"No problem, it's not a tragic story or something," you laughed softly. "I needed money and I needed it fast. It's not as terrible as it seems, I usually don't need to fuck with customers to pay the bills and the dance is enough, but little things like you that can't be ignored, so I had to make exceptions. And you, why are you here?"

"I... it was my friend's idea, Finan. A bet actually I lost. I didn't imagine this would happen," he said meekly, heart warming with his revelation. "Don't you usually do that?" He asked. "That," he emphasized.

“No. Most customers are not attractive and I’m a demanding girl," you purred and leaned against his chest, smoothing his beautiful angular face. "And you're handsome."

"You’re very beautiful too," he smoothed your back and gave a chaste kiss on your forehead, which made you chuckle on his skin.

And then, against his will, you walked away and knelt on the bed, removing your bra to reveal your beautiful tits and massage them dramatically.

“Mm, I'd love to have your big hands on me. Do you want to touch me?"

Fuckin hell.

He almost jumped on the mattress to reach you, covering your soft breasts completely with both hands, squeezing, playing, experimenting, enjoying...

“You're so gorgeous,” he was practically drooling over your appearance. “Damn it.”

“Mmm,” you smoothed the soft and milky chest in front of you, delighting in the touch that was replaced by his mouth after begging you (unnecessarily) from the puppy's eyes to smear your skin.

Osferth delighted in her soft breasts, sucking and licking the halo with desire, vigor and tenderness, nibbling on the protruding and newly hardened beak, which made your eyes close with pleasure. You bit your lower lip and straightened his hair, letting him take his time in the insatiable desire for you. From the smeared breasts he climbed to capture your lips with fire and lust, exploring your mouth with vigor, sucking your tongue as he has never done with any girl before. He kissed your jaw, your neck and your stomach when you lay on the bed, stopping at the panty line.

“Can I take it off?” He asked quietly.

“Of course you can.”

If he wasn’t hard as stone before, your wet intimacy certainly did.

“Do you know where women like to be touched?” You asked sweetly.

“Yes.” He pressed his thumb on your pearl, “here, isn’t it?”

“Mmm, yes, but it’s not like that,” you held his finger and created circular movements with the ideal pressure on your clit, “it’s like that.”

Your hand went to his hardened cock, making him moan. “Such a beautiful cock,” you licked your lips, “get another condom.” And he was very quick to follow your order, giving a tasty view of his cute white ass.

A small strip of shyness enveloped him by placing the condom on his axis in front of you, but he cled back and hovered above your body.

“Do you want to take control?” You asked.

“No. I don’t want to,” he held your back and ass between the bed and turned your body over his, being caged by your thighs and arms.

“Good. I’ll treat you very well, good boy.”

He didn’t gasp so hard when your hands held him in relation to the first time, but when you sank into him slowly... oh boy, all the air in your lungs is gone. He was sure he had reached the apex of pleasure.

Eyes closed, mouth between open and red skin, a true vision for you.

“Let me take a time,” your voice was soft as you went down totally, moaning in unison. “Damn, you’re a big boy. I love that.”

Damn it. The slow pace of the warm hug made him whimper in drunkenness, holding your hips tightly and raising his legs, which tilted your body forward. Leaning your hands against his chest you started to assemble it properly, moaning well and enjoying the moment.

On the other hand, he, the lad was vocal and quite interactive by the way his hips hit a few times against your own, wanting more, needing more.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes,” he said between one moan and another, blond hair sticking to his forehead by sweat.

“Okay,” you bit your lower lip, riding it stronger and faster, sending it to a cloud of lust that consumed you with every movement.

The whole situation contributed to the overwhelming pleasure that consumed his body. Be it the snap between the hips that filled the room, or the delicious sounds you made and especially the wet grip of your femininity against him.

“Move your hips too dear, give me that, I know you want it.”

And he wanted it, oh how he wanted it.

Osferth accepted your request and standardized your movements, hitting harder against your pussy (still very kind) that he had already used on a girl before, muttering a bad word the heat of the moment as he did a few times in his life. But fuck it, fuck it, he needed it.

You jumped uninhibitedly and maliciously in search of the apex, moaning his name as his grip began to increase, his cock brushing in all the right places at a delicious rhythm that was almost blowing his mind. Your wet pussy was soozing the inside of your thighs and the base of his cock, increasing the wet and profane sounds.

“You’re so fucking big, I feel so full. I’m going to cum so well on your cock,” your dirty talk almost made you come with tense hips, moaning loudly, which you noticed immediately, touching your clit while the tension in your core increased from the constant friction. “Hed a little longer, dear, I’m close.”

The weight on his balls was too much, he felt that he would really explode when he came, concentrating as much as he can for it to happen after you.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. That was so hard.

“Osferth, oh honey,” you squeezed him violently and his movements faltered when a hot and white wave crashed into your body and dragged you to the apex of pleasure. “Fuck.”

Fuck.

His hips crashed into yours for the last time right after your orgasm, filling the condom when cumming good and strong. It was totally heavenly.

He was floating in a cloud that erased all his thoughts except that moment.

You got up carefully and fell against his chest, lying next to him with a satisfied smile. “Did you like it, dear?”

He was panting and with a silly and wide smile, hugging you gently. “So much... so damn much.”

“Good. Get some rest, I want to make good use of the time we still have.”

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note: Sorry for the delay in publishing the chapter, the last few weeks have been terrible and stressful because of the finals.

— taglist: @gemini-mama @lexwolfhale @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @tssf-imagines @bel-bottoms

[its-to-the-death]

Mod’s Crush Competition Bonus Round - Genshin Impact

So...I got invested in Genshin Impact during the time I was running the Crush Competition and it's no secret that this game has a bunch of attractive characters so here's a bonus poll with the ones I like.

Disclaimer that I do not play the game (as of now) so some of the things I say may be incorrect about their character. This is from a mostly outsider perspective. I also listed in order of who I like from most to least.

Alhaitham

I read ONE Alhaitham fic and I end up in the Genshin hole

No man should be this smart and hot. Don’t make my standards higher.

That’s why he’s kind of a jerk. To balance it out a little more.

At first, I thought he was just some smart guy and then I watched his demo where he uses his sword and just, like, I’ve fallen so hard for this man

Did not know how to pronounce his name at first

Silver/gray hair

Wriothesley

Someone at anime club asked what man tiddies were and our president searched this man up (and then Alhaitham)

I just adore everything about his design and aesthetic

I think Genshin has shown me that big coats/capes are kind of attractive

The gray/white streaks with black and icy blue eyes

His gauntlets are so cool

I listen to the hour loop of his theme

Albedo

I commonly refer to him as Alfredo

Alchemist and an artist? Okay

He’s very pretty

Has an evil clone???

Baizhu

Also very pretty

Long hair

Being a doctor comes with the assumption that you are smart

His voice is very soothing

I watched his demo and he's also really nice

Snek

Tartaglia

I was so confused because at first I thought Childe and Tartaglia were different people but couldn't tell them apart. Then, I find out he also goes by Ajax? Pick a lane, buddy.

*sighs* I guess I do like gingers

Scarves are hot too

I don’t get this a lot with crushes but I want to make fun of him at every possible chance.

Diluc

Pretty but I feel like I haven't seen this man smile at all

We're back to long hair

Zhongli

Zhongli's not high on my list but it's just so easy to find him attractive

A god? Power is a little attractive but apparently he's also broke

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Book Club! Trigun Book Club! (@trigunbookclub)

Way back in the mid-2000's, a young Pancake Ray was working their first job out of college at a local Giant Chain Bookstore and discovered that no one else working the store cared if they spent their breaks sitting on the floor in front of our rather impressive two and a half bays of manga we had and just... read them right there. Much manga was read, and among the titles read were both Trigun and what was available at that time of Trigun Maximum.

I remember very little from that initial read aside from 1) confusing fight scenes, and 2) enough deviation from the anime (which I had recently watched) that I didn't really have a place for at that time. The anime had wormed itself into a very special place in my heart, so between the differences and just not being in a good place spiritually to handle some of its more religious themes, I wasn't really sure what to do with it. It probably didn't help that, back then, the manga was nowhere near finished.

I still read every volume we had, because gods, I read anything that looked even remotely interesting on the manga shelves at that time.

Now, an older and (debatably) wiser Ray is going to be reading these along with the rest of the Trigun Book Club Denizens. But first, I want to start of with a quote from the notes in The New Oxford Annotated Bible (3rd Ed.) in their prelude to I Kings, which is what I'm currently studying:

There is, on the other hand, no neat correlation between sin and judgment in Kings, largely because of the compassionate character of the Judge who accepts the repentant sinner, who does not desire final judgment to fall upon his creatures, and who is always ready to find cause why such judgment should be delayed or mitigated.

It just seemed like something to keep in mind when thinking about the character of Vash... but YMMV.

Onward!

Stream-of consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 1-3 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Trigun Volume 1 Covers

Ok, first off... I love the alternate covers Nightow did. The stark contrast between the serious cleanliness of the covers and the crazy tongue-in-cheek alternate version really sets the tone.

LOL, "Deep Space Planet Future Gun Action!!" Yep, that's it. That's all it is.

How have I never seen Meryl as Luke Skywalker before??

Chapter 1: The $$60,000,000,000 Man

This poster says "Appearance: Unclear," but it also has a picture of him. I'm not sure what to make of that.

Vash's face is so goofy. It's like if his world isn't ACTIVELY ON FIRE, he doesn't know how to be serious. I do like the belts. When watching S1 of Stampede, I missed the belts. I hope S2 has more belts. Something something fetish gear.

I love that there's actually a tally of all this on a wall somewhere. SEVENTY FREAKING TWO MURDER CASES.

Kid: "Mom, I want a gun." Mom: "You already have a gun at home." The Gun At Home: *only shoots toy darts when you, a child no older than 8, are living in the Space Wild Wild West and think you need real bullets*

I love how quickly Vash goes from "OMG FOOD" face to SERIOUS EATING FACE.

And it's immediately followed by this CLOSE-UP ASS SHOT. WHYYYYYY???

I don't know who this cloaked guy who's cocking his shotgun by shaking it vertically is, but I love his stupid hair.

Yeah, you don't get to kill the protagonist THAT fast....

WW isn't even here yet and Nightow's already filling panels with man-tiddies...

LOL, he counted ALL the bullets in that page that was... just... it was just bullet fire. Somehow he counted them all. For every gun. And now everyone else has to leave stripped down to their boxers.

I love that someone, somewhere decided they needed to have a pinball machine all the way out here in nowheresville.

Ah there are the girls. Milly looks so worried about the catcalls, but Meryl? Meryl looks bored.

Chapter 2: Looney Tunes

Ok, first off, this chapter title just makes me think of ep 12 of Stampede when So-and-So starfishes his way out a window before floundering in the air for a second of hangtime and then falling.

Exposition! Huzzah!

Population decline slowing = humans adapting to the new environment. Resilient little buggers.... I know someone who probably HATES that statistic.

So, basically... before July, Vash was small beans. Or going by another name.

Aaaand straight into his goofy poses. This man is made of rubber, I swear.

LOL, why is he talking in French?! I guess a guy's gotta have his hobbies....

But Meryl... I'm with Milly here. Is it really that dangerous??

Ah, yes. The ol' "they'll understand me better if I just speak louder" trick. A favorite of Americans traveling in non-English-speaking countries when said American hasn't bothered to learn even the tiniest bit of the local language.

Current favorite Vash Chaos Pose:

LOL, "MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR INTERRUPTING THIS CONFUSION." This feels like such a Japanese thing to say. It's like, "I know you're all engaged in frantic chaos right now, and because you're engaged in it, it must be very important to you, so I, the intruder, must offer my sincere regret for interrupting it."

I wonder how this version of Milly will merge with a Milly who was crazy enough to volunteer for the position of Meryl's partner in Stampede.

This Vash is definitely not so keen on being caught, even in the face of suffering women and children.

But here he is, protecting the very people who had guns in his face a second ago.

Chapter 3: Hard Puncher

Current favorite Vash Serious Pose:

Ok, I have thoughts here.

Sooooo many shonen speed lines....

Current favorite Vash Action Pose (That intense side eye is *chef's kiss*.)

Man, poor Gosef. But Vash standing over his prone form looks badass.

LOL, the Insurance Girls finally have everyone's attention, and.. they look like they don't want it anymore.

Hahahahaha, there goes the bounty. Can't put a bounty on a natural disaster. The federal government has officially labeled him "not human." *pats Vash*

Actually, he looks kinda happy about this. I guess not having a bounty on your head anymore might do that.

He can still have the head-pats.

The difference in his expression when greeting Meryl versus greeting Milly....

For as terrible as Mr. Nebraska himself is, I always appreciated how much he seems to genuinely care about his son in his own weird way.

Gods, I'm glad every other version got rid of his gun legs, though. That's... a Thing, and I don't like this Thing.

And just like that, Vash goes from "concerned about these girls constantly being around him" to "mildly intimidated by them." Beautiful.

(Thanks to @trigun-manga-overhaul for their translations and making this series accessible!)

[adachimoe]

Yukiko as a vehicle for Persona 4's slapstick humor

I talked about this a bit in the post about Yukiko's "cluelessness", but Yukiko doesn't take well to dirty talk. This is likely a result of her being objectified by every other person in town and also whatever customers say to her at the ryokan. In fact, her saying that they've had gross customers at the ryokan after her TV interview and her Midnight Channel "show" aired might imply that some of them only came to the ryokan to see her.

It's only after her experience in the TV world that we see her try and stand up for herself, but it's continuously presented as a form of dumb anime slapstick comedy with her misinterpreting what the guys are saying as being dirty talk. This is why the game shows her slapping Yosuke when he asks for "private lessons", why she doesn't give Yosuke her phone # after Chie mentions that Yosuke calls at night to tell sex jokes, why she pushes Kanji into the water after she sees his nose bleeding, and also why she slaps Kanji when she misinterprets him as saying "Did you show everyone [your tiddies]?" (*)

While this is played off as anime slapstick comedy, the place where it comes from is really not funny at all IMO. She constantly goes, "Oops, my hand slipped" after these moments, like it's an automatically activated self-defense mechanism. And I think it's self-explanatory as to why: You can tell just from what we're shown in the beginning of the game that she has grown up as some kind of small time celebrity in town with dudes harassing her and saying stuff to her. Like, the game is very blatant about showing you that.

What people have said/done to her has had an effect on her. It's big enough that she starts physically lashing out in retaliation as a means to stand up for herself, which one might want to take a step further and use to assume that people have gotten physical with her or touched her inappropriately in the past. But even though I say this, I also find it all a bit cringe. Because while it is part of her character, what the player sees in the game is that "Yukiko was harassed while growing up" is being used by the writers as a vehicle to help deliver the aforementioned anime slapstick humor moments.

Like, what got me thinking about this is how Katsura Hashino talked about his contribution to the camping trip part in his Persona Club interview. And the two brain cells I have left are split between, "Really? That's her catharsis for that part of her backstory?" and, "If Atlus is going embrace stupid anime tropes, then I hope she gets to continue beating up dudes as a little treat; you go queen". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(*) This isn't really the point of this post, but uhh I guess I do need to note that this line was completely different in English.

The term "coming out" does exist in Japanese as the wasei-eigo phrase "coming out" (カミングアウト). But during this scene, Kanji is not saying カミングアウト. He says "lay bare" or "expose", so Yukiko is misinterpreting it as being a double entendre for "get naked" which is why she slaps him.

[piedpiperslists]

do u have any like himbo bf jungkook recs ?😭 or like whipped bf jungkook? this is probably too specific so i’m sorry ! but i really like your account so i figured it doesn’t hurt to ask. thank you!

Hi. I'm also a sucker for a himbo Jungkook (ugh-yoongi's himbo stoner JK lives in my mind rent free lol), but sadly I don't think I've read a lot of himbo boyfriend fics. I also wasn't able to find any where the author specifically tagged as such, so I just picked those that gave off himbo vibes lmao.

These fics are a mix of whipped and some with slightly himbo boyfriend Jungkook.

* s - contains smut

[drabble] | [drabble] | [drabble] by 1kook - drabble (s) / athlete!Jungkook, established relationship, college au

[drabble] by yeojaa - drabble / established relationship Summary: Things you said when you thought I was asleep.

Be Mine by minisugakoobies - drabble / established relationship, coworkers au Summary: Won't you be his Valentine?

Letting Off Steam by wnderkoo - drabble / F1 driver!Jungkook, established relationship Summary: A bad day on track has Jungkook storming off and disappearing. Where else would you find him but in the comforting arms of his loving girlfriend?

Shower Me With Kisses by etherealinowrites - drabble / established relationship, idol au Summary: Jungkook is pretty much highly whipped for you, or, the one where he can’t seem to stay angry at you.

The Sea Monster by writeformesinpie - drabble / established relationship Summary: Jungkook is determined to find a sea monster no matter the cost and he has dragged you along for the ride.

"Big Tiddie Anime Bitches" by h0neypjm - one shot (s) / wc~3.5k / established relationship, PWP Summary: Jungkook, bless his heart, has an obsession. An obsession with big titty anime girls and the idea of you dressed as them. His birthday is coming up, what better time to fulfil his weeb fantasies than on Jungkook's special day. Alternatively... You hate the idea of dressing up as those stupid "big tiddie anime bitches" but your love for Jeon Jungkook is stronger. Besides Jungkook will have his turn next. Maid for You by h0neypjm - one shot (s) / wc~3.8k / established relationship Summary: Despite his many protests, you always thought Jungkook was the prettiest boy you have ever laid your eyes upon and you would do anything to prove it to him. It was then on one fateful night, you had then struck gold when you had stumbled upon the beauty of men in maid costumes, finally giving you a way to prove just how pretty Jeon Jungkook truly is.

How to Make Him Cum 101 by mimithings97 - one shot (s) / wc~15k / established relationship, university au Summary: You’ll love each other in sickness and health, hungover or hangry, sexless or… well, it’s becoming a little harder for the pants to stay on despite the calls of ‘let’s take this slow’ on the first date.

Micro-Orgasm by dovechim - one shot (s) wc~3k / established relationship, college au Summary: Biology lab takes an entirely different spin when you find something unexpected in your cheek cell sample.

Never (K)not You by jiminrings - one shot / wc~5k / established relationship, college au Summary: Established relationship ft. jock!JK and shy art major!Y/N, Y/N gets an unexpected pep talk and Jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dust according to Kook.

This Is How You Fall in Love by jeonqkooks - one shot (s) / wc~9.3k / established relationship, rockstar au Summary: After years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, Jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

I probably missed a few other whipped bf fics from this list. You can check more boyfriend fics here, here, here and here.

[sunfl0wer-h0ur]

Well my page pretty much blew up bc of my Yuurivoice headcannons so behold!!

Alphonse headcannons~

He has a cat!!

Thier name is Ziggy (and yes he plays gutair) thier a big fluffy orange cat with blue eyes and is somtimes a asshole but you and Al love them anyway ^^

Probably has snorted smarties

Has had an anime phase

His guilty pleasure anime was probably Ouran Highschool Host Club

He loves it when his s/o snuggles into his chest, absolutely adores it

He has soft skin

He does face masks with you

You know that maid dress He wore once? He still wears it every now and then

Big sanrio fan

He has those pink cat headphones, I know it

I feel like his comfort drink is either strawberry milk or pink lemonade

He'll fist fight anyone who thinks pineapple belongs on pizza

Big...man..tiddies

Type of friend who is moaning in the backround while someone makes a phone call

If you sleep in his arms hes going to be very protective

That's all the headcannons I have rn for him. If you have any requests I'm always open!! Unless I feel like shit lmao

[trashland-llamas]

-> Fic Masterlist <- (Fandoms A-K | Fandoms L-Z)

Marvel

Serpentine; poem about Loki

MCYT Adjacent

I’m Home Again; Dad!Corpse

NWTB

Rivets; My attempt at making one of those Youtube egos

Obey Me!

Bah Bah Black Sheep; Mc has a nightmare where they're the sheep character in Catherine and die trying to complete the obstacle course. Waking up, they go seek their beloved demon. [GN]

Astronomy themed nicknames Belphegor calls Mc [GN]

One Piece Live Action

Red Bottoms; Strawhats + whether I think they can successfully walk in heels

Strawhats + reacting to reader cupping their face [GN]

Strip Poker…but w/ Peppers?; Sanji and Zoro compete for y/n's affections over a sinister game of strip poker, suggested by the cook [Fem]

Do You Have a Light?; Sanji & Zoro react to Reader smoking for the first time [GN]

Take It Off; Zoro catches trans! reader over-binding [Male]

Stoic; Reader goes to Sanji for comfort after becoming fed up with Zoro's methods of comforting them [Male]

Could Just Eat You Alive; reader agrees to being Sanji's meal [Fem]

Relaxed, Squishy. Flexed, Hard; Reader asks Sanji while drunk why his muscles are so squishy [GN]

Moth to a Flame; Sanji jumpscares touch-starved reader with touch [Male]

Feel My Heartbeat Beat Beat; Soulmate au where Sanji can sense reader’s heartbeat [GN]

Ohhhhh Waaaaitttteerrrr; Reader is a customer at the Baratie & has to tell Sanji their order turned out wrong [GN]

Vignettes; Vignettes revolving Sanji and Reader's sex life [GN]

Cramps; Reader has PCOS and finally experiences cramps. Not knowing how to deal with them, they confide in Nami [Fem]

Ouran High School Host Club

Two Peas in a Pod; Mori-senpai x reader who like him, doesn't talk a lot [GN]

Outlander

Pineapple…on Pizza? Why?; Oneshot about Jamie trying pineapple pizza [GN]

Resident Evil

Cat Eyed; Reader helps Vendetta! Leon apply his eyeliner [GN]

Tiddies; Reader coerces Leon into letting them play with his tits [GN]

That Girl is Poison; Reader attempts to poison Leon [Fem]

Everyone Grows Old; Reader’s self-conscious about their gray hairs, Leon comforts them [GN]

Sidemen + Troops

Mrs All American; Hcs bout Reader being an American [GN]

Mom Friend; Reader makes breakfast for the Sidemen crew [GN]

Fruit Gushers; Trans male reader is on their period [Male]

Welcome to Jackass; The bit/scene from Jackass 4.5 where Steve-O tries advertising his condoms by filling them w/ sewage from his RV but insert the Sidemen instead

Scary Dog Privileges; Sidemen's reaction to y/n having scary dog privileges [GN]

Hey, Catch!; Reader has dyspraxia [GN]

I’m Not Angry Anymore; Cal falls asleep to Harry singing

Friendly Neighborhood Poltergeist; a poltergeist starts following Lux around [Fem]

Fat, Funny Friend; Behz consoles reader after finding them broken down after a particularly bad day [Male]

Who Let the Dogs Out; Reader's trying to reel in their dog or where Ethan thinks they're catcalling them

When the Sun loves the Moon; Harry's had a crush on his next door neighbor y/n for a while but has been too much of a chicken to talk to her until Simon encourages him to invite her over [Fem]

Touch Starved Harry

Caregiver; JJ & Simon are Reader's caregivers, Reader's an age regressor [GN]

Why So Sad?; Simon accidentally scares y/n while they're already regressed, making them further regress into headspace and JJ takes care of them. Sequel to Caregivers. [GN]

Absolutely Stunning; Simon tries on lingerie for JJ

Dad; 4x the Sidemen called Josh ‘Dad’

Enthralled; Tobi doesn't let Reader do work related stuff during their movie night [GN]

Stranger Things

Barbie; Y/n beats Munson at his own game of name 3 songs

What’s Wrong with my Speech?; Reader goes w/ Eleven to speech therapy

We Bare Bears

Stuffies; Ice Bear notices y/n’s beloved stuffy finally needs to be replaced [GN]

Wednesday

Pack Animals; Remus is one of the lycanthropy specialists that Enid's parents sent her to

Studyblr?; Tyler finally finds the time to strike up a conversation with a regular, y/n, an infamous studyblr blogger on tumblr

[dylanturnidge]

Mermaid

[trixstriforce]

alttp!link is the most femme trans lesbain in the world, she has pink hair and can turn into a bunny, owns a zillion dresses and a ton of ballgowns that match w/ zelda's to show off at parties, always up to gossip w/ the grannies and housewives while helping them w/ chores, she can bake and loves to cook, literally a disney princess like u cant tell me small woodland animals wouldnt flcok to her and marin didnt tech her how to sing better than the gods themselves

tp!link is the most butch lesbain in the world, he/him prounons only, loves his hair cut short and has a ton of peircings n tatoos, loves his two big tiddy goth gfs very much and will suplex anyone who looks at them the wrong way, wrestles for fun and is the best in town, u can not tell me this girl hasnt been in a fight club bc ik she has idk if it was a bublin one or hylian probably both, literally allergic to dresses and skirts but will rock a mean suit if need be and can fight in heels, litterly barks at ppl and will bitch a bitch if need me

and they r best friends :)

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Business Proposal S1

“Can you believe this ad? You can hardly tell what product they’re promoting.” As much as I am immediately wary of businessmen, I also do sometimes feel this emotion LOL if I have to sit through an ad I’d like to know what it’s for

I don’t yet know Fish Girl but I like her. It was the ponytail and labcoat moment. What can I say, I am easy

President Kang Tae-moo immediately putting poor Sung-hoon in the line of fire to be attacked with a cane by his grandfather

I love how comically evil Park Bribery Incorporated is. They cackle into the night over a box of money in a golf course 

I have not yet seen Min-woo but if these cutaway animations are any indication I think I will adore him:

“You think you’re the only smart one in the world.” said Tae-moo’s grandfather. “You’re just realizing that now?” replied Tae-moo, in what I’m sure isn’t foreshadowing of him immediately doing something stupid ASAP

You know, I think I like Grandpa Kang, he’s funny 

TKJHKJTHKJGHKJG. Min-woo. Who invites someone to a restaurant on their birthday when u are making a cake for SOMEONE ELSE’S BIRTHDAY. I feel like the cake mishap is kinda on you

“And even if I liked men, President Kang really isn’t my style.” 1) I love you Sung-hoon, 2) This is a very bisexual way to respond to this question why do u know ur type LMAO

Subpoint to this: I think Grandpa Kang would be chill if Tae-moo and Sung-hoon were dating. He’d be like, “Great! Marry him. This saves time for all of us.”

Poor Ha-ri, I feel u on the family that rarely puts in effort on ur birthday 

Omg is this ‘I need 800,000 won’ neighbour conflict the reason for what I assume will be a fake relationship between Ha-ri and Tae-moo?? Feels a little imbalanced, I hope it has Ouran High School Host Club energy LMAO 

Young-seo might be the sugar mama in this situation bc she’s paying Ha-ri to go on a blind date in her stead? I feel better about that LMAO

All the little cutaways and special effects in this show are very fun, there is no real reason why Young-seo needs to magically throw outfits onto Ha-ri like she’s Kirby after a power-up, but they decided to add it in anyway and I think that’s very powerful of them

For a guy so meticulous as Tae-moo, you’d think he’d google his dates

LMAO I love how convoluted this scheme has already gotten 30 minutes into the show. Why did Ha-ri not just run away after going to the bathroom. She did not need to come back to the table

Come to think of it. If she wanted to end it with a goodbye. She could’ve just faked a family emergency 

“The one on the left is Samantha and the one on the right is Rachel.” KJHJKGHGKJH THERE WERE SO MANY WAYS TO END THIS DATE ALTERNATIVE TO ‘UR MAKING MY TIDDIES SAD’

I love how many creative options Ha-ri has for getting rid of men though. This must be a pastime for her. Or she’s very quick on her feet. Either way, admirable 

Also. I don’t know if this is a cultural difference but like. What makes u think offering to have sex with a man will get rid of him. Have you met a cishet man

I assume, however, in Tae-moo’s case because he’s Mr. Smarty Trousers, he can tell she doesn’t want to be on the date and he’s gonna proposition fake dating, not knowing she’s not Young-seo

Oh my god. HE DOESN’T KNOW. And I think he secretly liked the date. THAT’S SO FUNNY

“To partners in crime?” “I’m so proud of you.” Ha-ri and Young-seo’s dynamic is perfect. No comments

I want Sung-hoon to find love. I know it’s early to suggest a throuple, but I think he should be in a throuple with Tae-moo and Ha-ri. Bye (bi).

“A regular employee will never run into the President at work,” said Young-seo, in what I assume is again immediate foreshadowing of Ha-ri running into Tae-moo at work 

HA:

LMAO at Tae-moo looking RIGHT AT a picture of Ha-ri and not noticing it’s the same woman he declared he was going to marry just bc she’s wearing glasses and has her hair up. Is he faceblind or does Ha-ri have Clark Kent Syndrome?

“With my face, body, impeccable manners and flawless personality, why would she say no?” Tae-moo said: I got self-esteem baybee <3 

“This goes for you too. Why don’t you get a girlfriend?” Awwww grandpa said I will hassle my honorary grandson Sung-hoon about his relationships too, equal opportunity meddling >:)

It didn’t take Sung-hoon long to find love I guess LOL

“We’re going to get married, so I should know all of your numbers.” JHGKHJGKH Tae-moo ur insane

Well, when Tae-moo decides he’s gonna do something, he commits

Ha-ri is also insane. WHO JUST JUMPS INTO RANDOM CARS!! THAT’S HOW U GET KIDNAPPED

“How do I look like [feathered bird-like dinosaur]?” “Just the overall vibe, especially the nose.” HAHAHAH SUNG-HOON COMING IN FOR THE KILL CASUALLY

Hahahaha this drunken scene has only reinforced my love for both Young-seo and Ha-ri

“Stop saying ‘female employees.’ They’re just employees. Don’t you know that’s sexist? And what, climb up the ladder? The only thing that’s climb is my blood pressure. So stop it, and get those invoices submitted.” I love Ha-ri’s boss Ms. Yeo

Maybe it says something about your personality that you think people would be interested in throwing shoes at your face, Tae-moo?????

WHY ARE YOU CHASING HER. THIS IS SO STUPID. However I love the immediate payoff of mentioning in the previous scene that he was a track and field star hahahahah

It’s a little incongruent with the whole façade of being this v pragmatic president to be chasing an employee wildly through the hallways. But it’s funny so I’ll give it to them

Also. Put your hair up and put on some glasses. He’ll never find you

I wasn’t expecting Tae-moo to actually catch up to her. But I like that every time he meets her in any capacity he’s like, ‘She’s bananas but honest and hardworking. <3 Delightful <3′

Bold of Tae-moo to describe Ha-ri as “the woman he almost married” when she flat-out rejected him and told him looked like a dinosaur

I love how Tae-moo invites himself into Sung-hoon’s apartment and cooks and cleans. Domestic. Maybe they are dating a little

With the added factor of the wig to the outfits and makeup, I guess it’s more of a Hannah Montana situation 

Gfjggfkjhgkjgh Young-seo really did just throw her friend to the wolves LOL

Tae-moo having a personal vendetta against Ha-ri the Fake Young-seo over being called a dinosaur. At least he’s consistent in his petty ego HAAHAHAH

Kang is calling Ha-ri in the middle of the night just because he got mad while watching a dinosaur documentary. Extremely unhinged. I love this for them

Tae-moo must love his grandfather a lot to go on ten blind dates in a row 

HAHAHAHAHAHA WE FINALLY ARRIVE AT THE FAKE DATING PLOT I UNDERSTOOD TO BE THE PREMISE OF THIS SHOW:

“You should thank Mr. Cha. He’s the reason we made up and got back together.” [Tae-moo blinking desperately at Sung-hoon for back-up.] “Yes sir. I tried very hard.” Sung-hoon proving he’s a ride or die homie

Fjfhkfhkfjhkf feels mean-spirited of Tae-moo to put tons of money on the line for someone he knows to be struggling. His motto is truly mansplain, manipulate, malewife

“Rich people are people too.” Grandpa Kang reinforcing to us all that rich people are tone deaf always 

Ohhh my god Ha-min walking in on Ha-ri and Tae-moo accidentally kissing jhgkjhgkg her brother doesn’t know what’s on the horizon

Why are they just chilling, lip to lip? PULL AWAY U DOOFS

Tae-moo fully blackmailed her into being his fake date. Like don’t get me wrong, if I look at other fake dating shows, they’ve also been a little bananas, but it’s worse here cause of the money thing. Eat the rich 

Also: If she signed that contract with her fake name it cannot possibly be legally binding LMAO

Silver lining: Tae-moo catching Ha-ri as she falls asleep and then tossing her at the car window bc he felt an emotion was very funny

“I won’t stop you from living on your own. But leave my credit card behind.” I guess Young-seo is going to have to get another job because only one couple in this show can pay each other to be in a relationship

“What kind of show makes the characters get together after just one kiss?” Enjoying the recurring background plot of their lives being followed exactly by what’s happening on TV

Excited and dreading seeing the Min-woo storyline and Ha-ri’s double life as Geum-hui the Fake Girlfriend collide 

Unclear if Young-seo gets to keep her job at her dad’s company?? But was absolutely certain this would be Sung-hoon’s apartment building so called that one LOL

Awwww poor Ha-ri finding out Min-woo is still in love with his ex. It’s sad girl hours 

Tae-moo pretending he didn’t hear her sobbing on the phone ahhhhh

Also. Girl. How did u get ur phone out of the gutter lmao

“Not her. Her.” Hahahaha Grandpa Kang realizing that Tae-moo likes flashy girls

“On top of that, you know that Tae-moo hates the rain? It was raining that day, and he still came.” I’m going to take Tae-moo’s stricken expression as evidence his parents were killed in the rain and so he has been planning to become Bitchy Batman ever since 

Fhfjkhfkfhkjfh Ha-ri truly drops her bag and belongings everywhere. Realistic. Subscribed. 

I feel solidarity with Sung-hoon and Young-seo over their mutual hatred of bugs

“You put Mr. Kang in a difficult position by sending somebody else on the blind date to fill in for you. So I just don’t think it would be right for me to get to know you personally.” Wow. Sung-hoon IS ride or die

This is the chillest concert I have ever seen. Seems more like a recital than a concert. This is smaller than my high school auditorium 

Min-woo said, unhelpfully: Just in case my comments get selected, I wanted to inform both the band and the audience that Ha-ri is single. <3 Please help this lonely woman <3 

“I don’t regret [falling for Min-woo], though. I was really happy for those seven years.” This is one of the most romantic things this show has said and it’s not even about the main couple LOL

There is something to this whole forced proximity thing like these two coming to understand each other’s sensitive spots a bit more... that’s very sweet

Tae-moo heard what I said about Min-woo and immediately took it as a challenge to be more romantic:

Why does Min-woo look so aghast? Is it bc Ha-ri no longer looks at him with love in her eyes kjghkghgkh

Between the ringtone and Min-woo and the eye bruise, Tae-moo is really having a lot of puzzle pieces thrown together in quick succession. Will his supposed high intellect piece together the truth about Ha-ri Montana? Tune in next episode

“We met when we were 20, so we’ve known each other for 7 years now.” “And you’ve been just friends this whole time?” That’s an inappropriate question to ask, Tae-moo kgjhkjghgjkg

Me: Maybe he’s connected the dots

The show: He didn’t connect shit

Gjlgkghgkjh the fact that Tae-moo and Sung-hoon have been besties literally since they were kids makes the fact they address each other so formally so funny. Imagine if in Boy Meets World, Cory called Shawn, “Mr. Hunter,” that’s the equivalent scenario

Weel weel weel, the ‘accidentally got us roped into a date’ shoe is on the other foot now, isn’t it Tae-moo and Sung-hoon Who Put Fake Anniversaries in their Calendars

Dfhkjghkghkgh Tae-moo counting the rings after Ha-ri missed his call bc he’s cool and chill and not catching feelings

Lmao @ Ha-ri making the absolute worst possible impression on Grandpa Kang while Tae-moo continues to look at every iteration of Ha-ri (both as herself and as Geum-hui) and go: <3 <3 <3 <3

Omgggggggggg they’re giving each other anniversary presents in the form of bruise ointment and fried chicken. I love this <3 

I’m not saying much bc I’m too enthralled in the anniversary date but I am convinced this Young-seo furniture designer neighbour is a stalker 

There was immediate payoff to this comment bc he is now delivering furniture to her unsolicited. Also gjkhkgjh at Sung-hoon becoming suspicious about this guy’s glasses bc he can tell time. He could just have a low prescription or wear them for fashion. Not everyone who wears glasses with relatively good vision is a liar and weirdo. (But this guy definitely is).

We cut back to Tae-moo falling wholeass in love:

Of the two, I don’t know that I was expecting Tae-moo to be the one who wears his heart on his sleeve but every single second of this date he is showing he cares and Ha-ri is internally going [Gabrielle Aplin voice] Please don’t say you love me 

It took him four full episodes and numerous occasions to look at her but Tae-moo has finally connected the dots about Ha-ri Montana by seeing her ID and seeing her chilling outside her house picking up his call

Tae-moo, stupid as hell: I cannot believe she fooled me twice

“She’s going to keep lying to me?” YOU BLACKMAILED HER INTO FAKE DATING U AND YOU’RE HER BOSS OF COURSE SHE’D LIE TO U, WHAT’S WRONG WITH U TAE-MOO

“I’m going to take my time to make her realize just how big of a mistake she’s made.” HEY! TAE-MOO! YOU LITERALLY MADE HER DATE YOU. UR JUST MAD CAUSE UR IN LOVE WITH HER. STOP BEING SO WEIRD AND MEAN

What Tae-moo did not account for in this stupid Ravioli Repetition Revenge is that if he looks directly at her he falls to pieces because he is in love with her. A problem of his own making 

Even if Min-woo and Ha-ri WERE dating it would be none of ur business bc ur her boss and fake boyfriend, Tae-moo. Get a grip, my love 

If he hates lying so much why is he forcing her to lie more by constantly putting her in positions that put her job at risk? EAT THE RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Sung-hoon isn’t saying it, I will. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG!!!!

I fucking knew furniture guy was a stalker. Gross. Hate it. Unnecessary

Also kind of bad vibes that he would give her an award for her work and use it to trap her. Eat the rich x3

“Why are they doing this? They never invited our family members before this.” It’s because your fake boyfriend is coocoo bananas 

You know. If I saw my family dressed in a wig and heavy makeup trying to hide from eyeline. I’d let it go. None of my business 

Hard to tell how much of that was a dream sequence lmao

“Why am I worried about that woman?” [Grandpa, through narration] “Look at him. It’s because he likes her.” I hope Grandpa Kang mockingly narrates Tae-moo for the rest of the show

Tae-moo 🤝 Young-seo 

Expressing their romantic feelings by being as annoying as possible

“I’m Shin Ha-ri. Shin Ha-ri is Shin Geum-hui.” It took Ha-ri one (1) drunken admission and mumbled apology for her to stop every cog in Tae-moo’s unhinged little brain all at once:

“There’s no way I have feelings for Shin Ha-ri,” said Tae-moo, after searching all night for her to make sure she got home safe, releasing her from his ridiculous contract to make her life easier, and literally fleeing the country so he did not have to keep looking at her

The English switches always take me off-guard but what’s most funny about this New York scene is that Tae-moo quite obviously has more of an American accent to his English than either of the white people (who are presumably Korean by nationality) do 

“Are you sorry for being so petty and messing with me because it hurt your pride when I’m not even interested in you?” I love a good romantic hallucination that calls you out for your mistakes LMAO

Well. Furniture stalker finally had his reveal. Yikes. I hope she is able to press charges

Sung-hoon took this opportunity to say: Tae-moo is not the only Business Boy who did track and field! WATCH ME RUNNNNN and catch this creep 

Time for Tae-moo to prove that this ride or die relationship with Sung-hoon is reciprocal!! Go get your boy

“You’ve managed to make this far without getting caught. But unfortunately, you ran into me.” Tae-moo has been waiting his whole life for this Feminist Batman moment 

“Well, who wouldn’t be upset in a situation like this?” said Tae-moo. “Yeah!” replied Sung-hoon, which, while true, is also definitely a product of the fact this secret perv footage thing happened to two women they have feelings for

“Didn’t you hear me? I’ve developed feelings for Ms. Shin.” Surprisingly self-aware for Tae-moo, what a quick turnaround 

I really appreciate how the show emphasized how stupid Tae-moo is for wanting to confess his feelings and ask her out without at all considering that she is and has been his employee this entire time 

I can’t wait to see Tae-moo start to try to be a normal person. Also I guess they’re finally going to start addressing all the loose threads around Min-woo

Min-woo, if you are in love with Ha-ri, as your sad faces when she mentions dating imply, WHY ARE YOU NOT DATING HER

Tae-moo asking to meet Ha-ri outside of work bc he likes her is a blatant misuse of authority but I’ll allow it because I think it’s going to be cute

But honestly, and I hate to say it: Same energy as that guy at my uni who said he was going to hold a debate club meeting but only invited one of the club members so he could trick her into a date. Cishet men do be like this

As much as I really dislike the plotline, I appreciate that they are addressing the actual trauma that Young-seo would experience after being the victim of sex crime 

LOL @ Ha-ri’s coworkers immediately showing up at this theatre. Love that we’ve progressed from fake dating to secret dating

Tae-moo missing the whole event is Karmic Justice both for the False Pretenses Date and for being so snippy with Ha-ri about leading a double life earlier. THE CRAWLING OUT OF A SPACE TO GO UNNOTICED BY COLLEAGUES IS ON THE OTHER FOOT

Sung-hoon proving chivalry is not dead by ramming against the broken bathroom door so Young-seo could pee

“What excuse should I use to call her next?” HOW ABOUT U TALK TO HER LIKE A PERSON TAE-MOO U WEIRDO

“Come to your senses. You’re here for work!” said Ha-ri, proving she was the only one in this relationship who had any concept of work-life separation lmao

“She would be very touched if you told her that you called me here.” “It would be tasteless if I bragged about it.” Awwww if Tae-moo just uses all of these “work meetings” to do very sweet things for Ha-ri in secret just to make her happy then I will forgive him for 63% of his craziness 

Turns out even Sung-hoon has limits to his chivalry:

Tae-moo ending the simultaneous double date by having a rain-induced panic attack and abandoning his lover on the road

Let it never be said that Tae-moo doesn’t double down on his shenanigan's. Immediately after finding her again he decided to volunteer as her fake boyfriend even though he is her real boss and their last conversation was him demanding she get out of the car in the rain, at an isolated bus stop, at night. Perhaps peak unhinged for Tae-moo

It’s definitely peak unhinged. Tae-moo must never have been in a relationship in his life he is acting like he is OBSESSED with Ha-ri it’s a bit much

Also. Announcing he is the President with NO regard for the position that puts her in as someone who 1) has received an award in his name and 2) is an employee that people may look down on for supposedly sleeping her way upwards. #JustRichManThings

You know. I’m pretty sure they didn’t actually have sex but. This broken heart is on Sung-hoon for not thinking about how someone who has recently been victimized would respond to waking up in a strange apartment with hazy memories

Min-woo really wants to have his Yu-ra and emotional affair with Ha-ri too like I know why Tae-moo is being So Much (it’s a character flaw) but your girlfriend is literally right there!!! Chill out or break-up

We’re finally getting Sung-hoon’s perspective about how all of this has been going down:

How many sad businessmen does it take to change a lightbulb

Also is the implication that Young-seo and Sung-hoon DID have sex while she was drunk because if so. Eughhhhhh don’t like that

Falling in love has really tanked Tae-moo’s ability to take a meeting lmao every single one he cancels or spends the whole time thinking about Ha-ri

“If you reject me, I’ll ask you out again and again. Until you finally like me back. So you need to brace yourself.” This is not a flex it is a red flag something that should be documented in case u need to file a restraining order 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Ha-ri said: Red is my favourite colour, how romantic 🌹

I’m sure the decision to makeout at a work event with a filming crew around will not immediately blow up in their faces:

Tae-moo to Sung-hoon after being kissed one (1) time: I now believe in love so take some vacation time bestie <3

“Are my lips some kind of column for you to crash into?” Tae-moo said: IT’S DTR TIME HA-RI

Hahahaha the more fun kind of blackmail where Tae-moo only makes Ha-ri go to activities he knows she’ll enjoy

I cannot BELIEVE that Tae-moo is playing River Flows in You lmao. What in the Twilight soundtrack

“There may be some things I don’t do, but there’s nothing I can’t do.” 1) Love this mentality for Young-seo 2) I anticipate her food being terrible lmao

Tae-moo said: The way to a woman’s heart is telling her she has to have fun with you forever in penance for her kissing crimes

What both Sung-hoon and Tae-moo are demonstrating with the hiking and bumper cars is that their love language is quality time/including their lover in their interests

I’m sure as pay-off for Young-seo trashtalking Tae-moo, he will be the one to get them out of this dangerous mountain excursion

LMAO finally Tae-moo’s exploitative contract has come back to bite him in the ass also Min-woo why the FUCK are you rifling through Ha-ri’s drawers get some help dude

“If you don’t have the money, pay it back with a kiss.” Min-woo must be reading this as some version of escorting vs. what it actually is, which is Ha-ri and Tae-moo’s fucked up little version of foreplay

Ha-ri playing dodgeball with a broken wrist to win a date with a man already in love with her while Tae-moo is being forced into yet another date. Both sides of this relationship aren’t doing well atm

Hoo boy on Sung-hoon going on a “date” with Young-seo’s cousin

“I’ll pay you back for that kiss with a kiss.” They decided to be emotionally forthright and then made out on a bridge. Good for them

They’re hitting their relationship’s honeymoon phase, I think:

Young-seo’s Yikes Cousin Yu-jeong announcing she’s dating someone as if Sung-Hoon hadn’t full ass told her had a girlfriend and wasn’t interested in dating her. I knew this subplot would happen but it’s still annoying to watch 

God. Young-seo inadvertently encouraging her cousin to go after her boyfriend. What a mess

“And I also think it’s about time we got married.” Yu-ra and Min-woo BOTH seem to know he’s in love with Ha-ri at this point I don’t know why they don’t just break up

Also Min-woo has had SEVEN YEARS to act on his feelings. Was he concerned about losing a friend? It’ll certainly be hard to maintain his friendships if he two-times them, emotionally or physically

LMAO @ SUNG-HOON AND TAE-MOO BOTH COWERING BEHIND EACH OTHER IN THIS SCENE BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS:

[Text message sent to group chat] “You’re being harsh, babe. Do you think I copied it? You made me look bad in front of Ms. Kim.” Ongoing subplot that I have yet to mention: Mr. Gye and Ms. Yeo, the two older/supervisory members of Ha-ri’s team, have been background dating for like a few eps also in a semi-secret way and now that’s finally coming up as well

No one in this company cares about office power dynamics LOL

Kay I had to stop watching for a few days because this scene of Grandpa Kang YET AGAIN finding Ha-ri locked in the bathroom was too much for me but we back

“But why is a woman in the men’s bathroom?” “She must be in here by mistake. If you do this, she’ll be too embarrassed to come out. You should go to another bathroom.” This is the most rational thing Tae-moo has said over the course of this whole show and he says it with unbridled panic bc he KNOWS his girlfriend is in that stall lmao

There was absolutely no reason for Grandpa Kang to insist she be the one to come out. If I were here I would stonewall him. Bathroom filibuster. I’m never fucking leaving

I love how Tae-moo has only half a brain cell and chooses to think with his heart. What possible rationale does he have for crashing the Food Research Team Dinner LOL

“I love bomb shots.” HAHAHAH Tae-moo looks so happy and relaxed. He’s like ‘See, baby, I fit in!’ hahahaha

In other updates, Sung-hoon tried to introduce Young-seo to his nun mother and, predictably, Cousin Yu-jeong brought the whole event to a crashing halt 

“Do you know what’s most infuriating? It’s how you ignored me and blindly did as Kang Tae-moo said. Are you that family’s servant?” There are a couple of flaws with this, despite the fact that Sung-hoon is clearly in the wrong for lying. 1) Tae-moo is like family to him, so of course he wants to help him out and 2) He does work for them, so yeah, there are blurred lines and 3) He’s known Tae-moo for like.... his whole life. You’ve known each other for what, a few months? Romantic love or no, of course he protects the more established bond. All of this can be summarized by “bros over hoes,” but I digress

“I want to be loved by the person you love the most too.” Ha-ri is SO GOOD at romance. I am also a little in love with her, Tae-moo

GJfigjjfdhkjghkgh loving Ms. Kim catching Ha-ri and Tae-moo covert holding hands LOL

I also appreciate Tae-moo’s hair arc. The lovey-dovey messy bangs are doing a lot for me

[Forced laughter] “I should get going too.” “Yes, it’s late, so you should.” “Yes, goodbye!” [Continued forced laughter on exit] For two people who have been deceiving Grandpa Kang for nine episodes, Tae-moo and Ha-ri act like they’ve never told a lie in their lives

“I’ll introduce her to you soon.” I really look forward to Tae-moo and Ha-ri trying to explain even HALF of what the fuck they’ve been up to together 

The friendships in this show really are delightful:

Awwww Sung-hoon and Tae-moo orphanage backstory is getting me. Young-seo bonding with nun mum. Their little brothers and sister there. Call me sentimental but I love a cliché

Side note: It’s really drawing my attention that Sung-hoon isn’t wearing his glasses. Wasn’t that his entire reason for suspecting the Furniture Stalker that he could see without glasses? What, you’re the only man in this city who can wear contacts? 

“One day, we’ll be able to tell each other about these things. Once we get closer with time.” YOUNG-SEO COMING IN WITH THE ROMANCEEEEEE. The women of this show have wooed me

Tae-moo’s “Thank you for accepting my feelings,” and “When you feel ready, let’s tell him,” are also up there in what has been a very swoon-worthy episode so far

Insane that while Ha-min has embezzled chicken funds and disappeared now the two couples are just having a double date running the restaurant LMAO

Tae-moo and Young-seo are finally bridging the divide between them LOL that’s growth 

[Ha-ri, laughing] “Of course I don’t want to watch [Tae-moo changing his clothes]. Go to Ha-min’s room--” [Tae-moo, sincerely] “No, I’ll show you.” TAE-MOO PLS

HAHAHAHA I culturally relate to being a grownass woman who outright refuses to explain her dating life to her relatives. Western TV could never LMAO

Tae-moo is SO happy to be in Ha-ri’s room. He’s living his dream

“He’s very kind and gentle,” said Sung-hoon to Ha-ri’s parents, as if Tae-moo had not tricked their daughter into signing a contract to fake date him with untenable financial penalties and then subsequently tried to punish her for being dishonest with him mere episodes ago

It makes me laugh that Ha-ri is still calling her boyfriend “President Kang” even as he is hiding in her cupboards 

The physical comedy of Sung-hoon, Young-seo and Ha-ri trying to sneak Tae-moo out is killing me

The Boyfriend Boss is out of the bag for brother. Bet you can’t say that five times fast

“Go buy yourself some clothes, brother-in-law.” HAHAHA Tae-moo has one act of service in his love language repertoire and it’s giving people money

Also his smile at being called brother-in-law was VERY CUTE

Lmao @ Tae-moo’s instinct when Sung-hoon is drunk crying about his girlfriend being to film it for future blackmail. He really did say mansplain, manipulate, malewife

Young-seo’s dad can mind his own damn business. Firstly, Sung-hoon is a key role in the company and presumably is quite rich himself by merit of that. Secondly, she doesn’t live with you!! You leave her be, Scrooge McFuck 

“Can you please get out of Min-woo’s life?” We circle back to Min-woo whenever people are feeling too happy

They really wanted Yu-ra to have no redeeming qualities. That she dated him initially out of spite, cheated on him, and then is blaming Ha-ri for the fact Min-woo doesn’t feel the same about her? You should maybe get some therapy Yu-ra

“Now that I’ve seen how you act, I can understand why Yu-ra’s acting that way.” I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE BOTH BAD PARTNERS, HA-RI

WAHHHHHHHHHH Tae-moo being able to focus on Ha-ri instead of his rain-induced panic attack :’)))))))))))) They’re working through it together ahhhhhhhhh

The callback to the rainy day story she made-up when they were fake dating. STOPPPPPPPPPPP

The way she makes sure to distract him from the rain by going into the flower shop to delay going outside or sitting beside him and rambling about work when the rain gets heavy. I love Ha-ri. I can’t handle it, it’s too sweet 

The way that they brought back the campy little animations to crumble the bouquet in Ha-ri’s hands. I knew this was coming. Damn u Second to Last Episodes of Asian Dramas 

“Stop seeing Tae-moo. I don’t think you want to be in a situation that other people may misinterpret.” Honestly. Even if you interpreted it correctly, I don’t think it would leave you with the best impression

Tae-moo said: If I cannot be with Ha-ri, I will waste away inside the Go Food building like Businessman Midas with only his Golden Kimchi Ravioli for company

I wasn’t expecting Tae-moo’s Batman origin story to affect me as much as it did, but Tae-moo and Ha-ri crying together while acknowledging that the accident was not Tae-moo’s fault really got me

Yu-ra REALLY needs some therapy. What the fuck. Ha-ri has been decent ALL THE WAY THROUGH and she just decides to make up shit for the whole internet to see about this fake love triangle!!! HA-RI HAS CLEARLY SHOWN THAT MIN-WOO HAS MISSED HIS CHANCE

Well. At least Tae-moo will be confronted with the inevitable implosion that follows all of his unhinged dating-his-employee antics. It’s really a lesson to be learned 

“I won’t tell him, for Sung-hoon’s sake.” Cousin Yu-jeong does not believe in bros over hoes (or sisters over misters)

“Let’s not talk badly about something we know nothing about. Also, Ms. Shin is way prettier than you.” Mr. Gye said Team 1 is Ha-ri Support Squad no matter how rough our work situation is <3 

Young-seo spent her month’s salary on preventing Ha-ri’s parents from hearing about the rumours. Great friends all around <3 

Meanwhile, Tae-moo and Sung-hoon have circled back to people thinking THEY’RE in a relationship. I think Tae-moo should be allowed to be mean if he does it by flirting with Sung-hoon. It tickles me:

I cannot BELIEVE that 1) Tae-moo continues to be short-sighted about how this affects Ha-ri’s career and 2) He was gonna propose by payphone. Not even half a braincell on this day, my love

“But once people find out you’re dating, do you think she’ll be able to come to work? The employees will gossip about it. You might be fine, but she’s just an employee.” UNBELIEVABLE. GRANDPA KANG HAS TO SPELL IT OUT FOR HIM!! TAE-MOO!! STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES

The other shoe finally dropped on Tae-moo being in the loop about their supposed scandal. But I love that he’s doubled down on defending Ha-ri and didn’t believe for a second the rumour that she had two-timed him 

“There he comes! The handsome young owner!” “You must’ve been mistaken. That’s my daughter’s coworker.” HAHAHAHAH I fullass forgot that Tae-moo already met Ha-ri’s parents under the fake name of Mr. Gye. Oh my god 

“If love is a crime, then yes, I’m a criminal. But resign? I can’t resign, sir!!” HAHAHA GRANDPA KANG DESERVES HAVING TO JUGGLE THESE BATSHIT TWENTYSOMETHINGS 

“I’ll explain everything later! Mother and Father.” HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW HA-RI’S PARENTS WERE GONNA BE LIKE ‘WHAT THE HELL AREN’T YOU 40?!’ BUT IT’S STILL FUNNY

Point of clarification if for some reason you’ve gotten this far in the liveblog and haven’t seen the show: Tae-moo’s not 40. He merely cosplays as 40something-year-old in his spare time

“I know how stubborn and arrogant I’ve been. But I don’t want to be on bad terms with my only daughter anymore.” Well damn, an unexpected turnaround from Young-seo’s dad

Everyone on this show is coocoo bananas. Ha-ri and Tae-moo at least have the reasoning of wanting to protect each other from rumours/scandal and having been fake dating prior to their real dating. You two have only been together a month. What’s your excuse for getting married!!!!!

I say this. And Tae-moo proposed to Ha-ri after one (1) date without even knowing her real name. So. We arrive again at coocoo bananas

Ha-ri coming down the N Seoul Tower while Tae-moo goes up so they meet halfway is poetic cinema 

Thank you for ending this episode much more kindly than it started:

Well, Young-seo’s dad’s turnaround lasted all of 10 minutes, I guess

HAHAHAHA @ Ha-ri and Tae-moo immediately getting caught on their walk of shame 

“Ha-ri is the first woman I’ve met who is a joy to be around and always makes me laugh.” Tae-moo <3

Loving everyone finally being able to hang out honestly ahhhh <3 

Also Tae-moo constantly telling people he fell in love at first sight while we as the audience know that Ha-ri spent that time trying to get rid of him and anthropomorphizing her tiddies which go by the name of Samantha and Rachel. LOL

“You were with Ms. Shin or whatever, right?” Power move for Grandpa Kang to call Ha-ri this as if you had not met her at length a number of times lmao

“Ha-ri, when I get back from my trip, do you think we could go back to being close friends like before?” Min-woo said when the going gets tough, the tough sell their restaurant and go to Europe

“Do you think you can you do anything without the privilege that my name has given you?” “Actually, I think I can. I’ll prove it to you. That I’ll be just fine, without using your name.” <3 <3 <3 Young-seo, love of my life 

Ghkjghkghkgh Ha-ri being defensive about just having regular work conversations with Tae-moo while Tae-moo is like ‘where have we landed on cuddling in the stairwell?’

It’s clear that Tae-moo’s penchant for theatre is an inherited trait considering Grandpa Kang’s hospital antics 

Young-seo immediately sharing her emotions about cutting ties with her dad and Sung-hoon offering to invest in Young-seo’s start-up!! The communication has improved leaps and bounds 

“Wait, isn’t she supposed to be taking care of me? Where is she?” Hahahaha Ha-ri has won over Grandpa Kang in one (1) hospital visit. They are now doing a sing-a-long to music shows 

I like that they’ve found an opportunity to drop her K-Pop history into this show LOL

“You’ve always been like a mountain to us. So please be healthy and stay that way, Grandfather.” “Being sick is kind of nice. I never thought I would hear you call me that.” SUNG-HOON <33333333333333

I thought this episode was going suspiciously well so it’s fitting that we’ve arrived at the Long Distance Parting at the Playground

I am generally not for time-skips if used to change character motives but I am ABSOLUTELY for time-skips if they are to show everyone getting advancement in their career goals and romantic endeavours and generally softening over time. I can’t wait to see all the married couples and reunion

“What if they get a divorce?” AHA, MS. YEO IS NOW MRS. GYE

Love that Sung-hoon’s ultimate form is househusband. Good for him

The campy little animations make their final triumphant return via taxi sign:

Title reference (affectionate): Young-seo = Business, Tae-moo = Proposal 

[threeleggedcrow]

Hello there

I actually have nothing to say thats important so have a story from when i was like 11-12

So, at that age, i had the FATTEST most OBVIOUS crush on this one guy that was a year older and we went (and still go) to the same judo club

And one day, i got paired up with him for fighting. Thing issss- judo can get VERY akward with the opposite gender, ESPECIALLY when its floor fights (???? Idk how to say it in English lol)

Because uhm- to win you had to be on top of them and hold them and that would get very very very embarrassing

And on that blessed day we worked together, someone pushed him during the fight

This is gonna sound like an anime scene so bear with me-

He falls, i fall with him, he lands on me and his hand just happens to fall directly ON MY TIDDY

AND WE BOTH JUST LAY THERE IN SHOCK

JUST PURE AWE IN THIS BOYS FACE

ohhh god that sounds like a movie lol i'm so sorry agsjsghs that sounds incredibly awkward. at least you don't have a crush on him anymore tho lmao (if i understood correctly?)