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#another reason why he's my reluctant fav
icarusbetide · 6 months
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i love making fun of alexander hamilton for the unhinged, stupid decisions he made. but i can't help but feel for him when i think of his background and how it always haunted him. not even getting into the shitshow that is his family history, just the fact that his immigrant status continued to serve as easy ammunition and he never really was "one of us" no matter what he did?
like that letter he wrote to gouverner morris in 1802 where he said:
"Every day proves to me more and more that this American world was not made for me."
it hit me hard, even if he was being dramatic. i'm probably projecting but i think it's a sentiment a lot of immigrants, even today, can relate to. really need to find that interesting paper on west indian stereotypes at that time and how they were alluded to against him.
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dreamsholdpowers · 6 months
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The Aftermath
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(I don't own the image) ~Akaashi x Fem! Reader. Warnings: Angst, my writing (that's a warning in itself), Hurt no comfort Word count: 734 This is like a second part to "Maybe meant to meet but not to be" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You couldn't believe it, any of it. None of it seemed real to you. -Here you were a few hours ago, planning a picnic date for your 2 year anniversary and now you're left cradling your heart, or what's left of it. -The man you imagined your future with, suddenly left like the last 1.7 years didn't matter to him at all. -And here you are, sitting in the middle of the living room, trying to figure out what to do cause it just doesn't make sense? -How? Just How could he leave after spending 1.7 years beside you. After all the promises to spend the whole life together? -You pick up your phone lying a bit far from you to call him and ask if all this was a cruel joke. "Pick up, Pick up please Keiji" You pleaded, gripping your phone and felt to yell as all calls go to voicemail. there's just one text that he wrote: Pretty boy <3 : "Please don't contact, I'll get my things next week from your apartment. It's better for the both of us". - You didn't know of the hours that passed as you sat there on the cold floor crying, not that you cared either way. Everything hurt and you didn't know what to do with all this pain. - Your story started during the first year of Fukurodani Academy where you and him shared some classes and got paired up for a group project and that blossomed into a beautiful friendship. It was 9 months into the friendship when you started noticing how him doing small stuff for you would make you happy. - How seeing him would make your heart skip a beat. It was during the second year when you gathered enough courage to confess to him. After a volleyball practice when he walked you home from school: Another tradition you made as friends. You just blurted "Ireallylikeyou" to which you earned his rare smile. "I like you too" You could declare that as the happiest day of your life. -This is why you can't grasp where did it go wrong? - You could just pick up your phone to call your closest childhood friend who was a mutual to Keiji as well: "K-Kuroo he broke up with me" "No way- That bastard. I'll be over in 10 chocolate or vanilla?"
"Chocolate w-would be nice" "You got it ma'am" -Within ten minutes you heard shuffling at the door. "I'm here bro, what the fuck happened and why? Give me one good reason to not drag him here" Kuroo looked slightly out of breath and was holding a tub of chocolate ice cream. -His eyes softened as they landed on you and came over kneeled beside you, pulled you into a hug and let you cry as you re counted everything that went down. - Kuroo stayed a few days, to make sure that you were taking proper care of yourself. ______________________________________________________________[Time skip A week] -Days have been tough to say the least, everything around you reminds you of him. The locket he gave you on your birthday, The plushies he won at a fair, His hoodie that you neatly packed and kept for him to come and collect, his side of the bed. His fav books. - You cried, and no one blames you, no one saw this coming. But they were reluctant to pick sides. -Akaashi in the meanwhile, pretended that you did not exist, ignoring your existence and the only acknowledgement that you'd get is a curt nod. -It pained you, hell devastated you seeing him so nonchalant. - You wondered how could he be so calm? Does it not pain him like it pains you? Does agony not wrap her ugly claws around his heart? Does grief not poison him from the inside? Do your shared memories not pain him? Does he not look at the rain and remember you? Does the promise ring on this finger haunt him as much as it does to you? -Despite all of that, you still believe that it's better to have loved than not loved at all. -He comes to pick up his stuff that's neatly packed in boxes and brings your stuff that you know would bring you nothing but pain. -You slowly try to get back at life, get into clubs, anything that could distract you from what you felt. And that's where you met him: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Idk what this is. More like a filler. Thank you everyone that took time to read it. Hope life is kinder to you. <3333
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Can you write a smutty headcanon about Walter marshall please? 🥺 He's my fav 💚
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Hii hun❤️
I'm gonna try, but I can't really tell with Walter, even though i love him, so this is going to be heavily influenced by how other writers (especially @littlefreya and @wolvesandhoundshowltogether) see and write him.
Also, i read your name as "superdick" again 😂 i guess I'll never read it right 😂😂🙈
Warnings: smutty stuff, random, no coherence 😅
somewhat a pleasure dom/ service top, something in between (if he has time that is)
Can read your body perfectly
Knows how to please you, how to tease you
Willing to try everything you ask him to
You don't have to tell him what you need, he knows, and he'll provide, even if don't have much time
KING of quickies. Has mastered the art of making you both feel satisfied within a short period of time because he always seems to be on the run
Loves a good blow job before he has to leave for work
Pays you back when he comes home with his head between your thighs
Uses his beard to his advantage
Loves how much you hate love it when he teases you l rubbing his bearded chin and cheeks against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs
Keeps it very clean and well groomed for that reason too (not mainly ofc) because you want beard burn but not a rash
Loves seeing you tied up and in sexy lingerie
Sometimes takes a few days off between cases to spend them in bed with you
Doesn't love police role-play, but his reluctance is only pretend. Likes using handcuffs on you and bending you over the kitchen counter or back of the couch
But also likes it if you take charge
Leaning dom, but kinda a switch. Wants to turn off his mind from time to time after very difficult cases, so he's thankful for the moments you tell him what to do
Also gets off on being bossed around by someone smaller and weaker than him (like... almost everybody is)
Loves fucking you from behind but also needs to see your face, so basically that's why you installed the floor length mirror in the bedroom
Prefers bed over couch or kitchen counter. After a while it gets uncomfortable.
Likes to mark you up but in places only he can see. Scared of people seeing them and thinking he's hurt you (isn't leaving bruises on your so illegal in the uk? It stems from that)
Fucks you rough but doesn't like spanking you. At least not much. Doesn't want to hurt you.
Honestly... From very gentle to very rough, he does everything.
Loves creampie-ing you.
Doesn't want to deal with another kid after Faye though, so he got the snip.
Shower sex! If he goes home to 'shower' it's mostly an excuse and he really needs to get off. Fucking you in the shower? Two birds one stone.
Loves and hates it when you send him dirty texts at work.
Yep, will go home to 'shower' after especially raunchy texts.
Honestly... Prefers watching TV or napping with you in his arms over having sex though. He just wants to hold you.
I think that's all I have 😊
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fatuismooches · 2 years
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I DON'T REMEMBER IF I REPLIED OR NOT BUT HERES A REPLY ANW OMG U BREAK MY HEART SO WELL AAASHHA sorry if I've already said smth so this makes it a double reply ANW dottore angst gets me so hard but I don't hate myself that much so an accompanyinh fluff I'd like to add is like imagine reader is reallyyyy good at chess cus they're established as smart by being in the akademiya and now since you can't rlly do anth all day you challenge the clones to chess often so anw one day dot is just coming as you win a game against one of the clones for the third time in a row and you challenge him to a game and he's so convinced he'll win he deliberates going easy on you and- wait what the fuck why are you so good
also you are quickly becoming my fav creator to interact wit :( 💗
- 🌕
I HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE READING THIS IT'S SO CUTE- I NEED TO WRITE A LIL SOMETHING YOU'RE SO BIG BRAINED...!
Since your illness prevented you from training your body more than you like, you made your best effort to train your mind instead. You deemed your mind as very important, as the loneliness of it all often weighed down on you more than you liked. So you made sure to keep yourself occupied as much as you could, to try and prevent any negative thoughts from creeping up. And well, you found it to be quite rewarding. There was one time when the clones were struggling with an experiment for quite a while and were reluctant to inform Prime. So you asked them to let you take a look at the notes and everything along those lines. Admittedly, it reminded you of when you researched with your lover back at the Akademiya, so you accidentally got too into it, scribbling all of your thoughts and a possible answer to the problems. The clones were rather shocked when you turned out to be right.
But your favorite activity by far was chess. The brain teaser was highly favored by those at the Akademiya, and for good reason too. It was a great way to challenge yourself and get your mind working, and the best part? You could sit down comfortably and only move your hand, and enjoy the rather handsome view of a segment's face laced with confusion.
The clones were almost always happy to indulge your wishes, sometimes even fighting over who got to fulfill them. So after you absentmindedly mentioned wanting to play chess, the next day the game was set up in the lab, ready for use. Needless to say, you were quite elated. You had itched for the chance to play again. And of course, your only opponents were the multitude of your lovely segments.
The segments do love you. It is only natural that their creator’s love for you extends to them as well. So they gladly play along with your little game of chess, but they won’t do it too seriously; after all they wouldn’t want to hurt- wait, how did you already beat him?! For all of their wisdom and knowledge, they are baffled when they are taken out that quickly.
It eventually gets to the point where you have a little group of clones watching you battle another. It’s quite endearing to see them hover over you like that, trying to guess what move you’ll play next. But the true fun comes when Zandik appears. There are times where sometimes you do not see him for a few days, but that’s alright. The time spent afterwards always feels the best, and this is one such time. He is unaware of the little show you’ve been putting on, so you gleefully invite him to play you in a game of chess.
He accepts of course. Admittedly, it had been a while since he played, having only laid eyes on the chessboard in which the Gnoses were pieces. And of course, he has the same mentality as his clones - he’ll go easy on his darling, you’re his after all. He knows his genius is incomparable so- wait… you beat him? Since when did you become so good? You must tell him all the details now, he wants to know your thought process and the strategy’s name and how the other matches went and-
You shut him up with a kiss and invite him for some more chess games in your shared bedroom.
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bluhjeans · 2 months
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songs i associate with dbh characters / what i think their fav songs would be
pleasee share ur own thoughts & opinions id love to hear them!! and I need to ramble abt my dbh opinions to people (+templates if u wanna make ur own)
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explaining my reasoning here if anyones curious
gavin: couldn't decide between rehab and in my feelings because theyre both just so him (and by that i mean fanon him cuz there really wasnt much to work on) 'in my feelings' because I can just imagine him to all' of the lyrics ('Sobbin' in my cup of coffee 'cause I fell for another loser' and 'Who's doper than this bitch, who's free-er than me' in particular) and rehab is a little looser of a connection, it stems from this story that ive been sorta writing that focuses on gavins relationship with alcohol aswell as his friendship with tina, and I just feel like rehab really captures his reluctance to give up the many different problems he has in the story like drinking, smoking & drugs rk900/nines: i dont really imagine he listens to music but but i kinda associate him with the pre-chorus in 'In my feelings' by LDR with the 'get that cigarette smoke out of my face' and the bridge with 'got me feeling so blue, making no sense at all, gotta leave right now' sooo duet with gavin...? 'shades of cool' (u may have noticed i like lana songs by now!!) also really matches nines IMO, the song is about her own pain and disappointment but but it also centers around this flawed love interest she wants to fix and understand, but ultimately can't, which to me just feels like nines and gavin, atleast in my own hc's (can you guess my fav ship yet) connor: whilst this song (a human's touch) could generally apply to all androids in dbh I connect it most with connor, especially in the second verse; "We were still going strong I never did you wrong Until the new me came along It was just you and me We were such a good team But now I’m alone on the boulevard of broken screens" Listening to this, I can really imagine him talking to Amanda after being introduced to his successor, the RK900 ('the new me') - I also can imagine the boulevard of broken screens being in reference to the graves of his previous bodies and I just think thattt hits yk, + whilst the second verse applies to machine connor more, the craving for human touch (connection in general) feels rather apt as by becoming deviant he has severed ties with Cyberlife, causing him to be pretty alone so yeah kara: I can just imagine her, alice and luther all singing country roads together in a car during the summer and it just warms my heart sm like its just sooo cuteee <3 I can also imagine her being a fan of Adele's music in general, I can't really explain why but she just seems like the type of person to be reaalllyyy into adele (me too) (+ i know age as a concept isnt a thing for androids really but adeles music appeals to a large age range making her music appealing 2 families so maybe im connecting adele n kara because of that) markus: I feel like I don't even need to explain history has its eyes on you... i mean come on.. but ohhh emmm geee!! I can not stress how PERFECT 'as the world caves in' is for markus atleast in my opinion, when I listen to it I can really picture this song over markus either choosing to sacrifice himself in BfD when surrounded, but generally I can just imagine this song over him doing anything really. 'run boy run' also feels like it needs little explanation, just listen to the song/look at the lyrics and youll see the connection north: I don't actually have any meaningful reasons for these songs but I just feel like north would like them but I guess 'breakin' dishes' is the one I thought about most because I can imagine her acting similarly in the same situation soo yeah chloe: Chloe doesn't really have a lot to work on with her extremely limited appearance in-game so this is completely based off a fic i read lol, where chloe was in a relationship with kamski but only in private because of his concern for his image anyways, in 'a loving feeling' mitski sings about feelings of loneliness in a relationship where her partner only shows affection alone and yeah that just feels like chloe n kamski to me!
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beans-core · 4 months
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I finally got around to watching season 2 of Invincible (great show btw) and… oh my lord.
I need to ramble. I MUST.
spoilers after the cut! (If there’s still people who haven’t watched it lol I’m late to the game)
Oh my good god. There’s so much, but this is just the stuff that’s lurking near the front of my brain.
First off, Allen the Alien is the pookiest pookie to ever pookie. He’s so sweet and so determined. He literally risked loosing a battle on purpose to try and be taken to prison, a prison of the enemy, on the off chance that Mark’s dad would be there. And even then it was still a maybe that Nolan would even want to help the cause! Allen still trusted Marks word completely, even though it sounds crazy... “yeah dude okay I believe you, your mass-murdering Viltrumite father who totally tore up Earth and a bunch of other planets has changed his mind and feels bad. Good to know, I’ll make sure to find him and make sure he isn’t executed. I also understand you not wanting to ditch your planet and loved ones, and even though I’ll get in trouble with my commander I’m not going to force you to come to space with me. Bye now, sorry for breaking your bed, nice seeing you man!” And this was all in season 2. Even in season 1 he was still a bro. Allen is the Bro Code personified and I love him for that.
Eve and her family always makes me tear up. Because I can understand how her father, a hardworking man who was probably raised on the saying ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ — who now has a daughter who can literally make money grow on trees— would feel so upset. It doesn’t make up for the fact that he’s yelling at his family like a dickhead, but it’s still a whole shitty situation. It’s always a grand ole time when Eve is back with her parents… ha ha. The little pep talk from Rex was an awesome little insight on their relationship through the years too.
Rex… my boy, how do I even begin. He’s been a reluctant fav of mine since season one, but he’s also such a douchebag! Sucks that it took being shot in the head and watching your superhero friends/coworkers die in front of you to realize that maybe the whole douchebag thing isn’t really the way to go. But yeah. Good for him! Want more of his backstory tbh, think that’d be cool. And yes, I know I could probably look through the comics and see if there something in there if I really wanted to. But what if I spoil something for myself :c
The Immortal grieving and confused on why he feels so much… the parallels to Nolan with that… not to mention the reveal of Kate being alive! The way he stood there stunned before hugging her was so beautiful. Ugh. Was a bit weary of their relationship until Kate said ‘he knows what it’s like to die over and over’ and then it was like bam they’re in love your honor new otp.
And man. Amber and Mark were my old otp… I knew it was going to end sooner or later (I accidentally got spoiled bruhhh) but I really had hope for them. Sad but honestly Amber deserves the world and if Mark can’t give that to her (and he’s so sad about it too he just wants to go to college and be normal and love his bae) then literally no one can fault her for putting her needs first. That’s another thing I love about the show, there’s no shame when people put their own lives first, and the tough conversations are organic. Magnificent. Anyway Amber is amazing I’m going to miss herrrr T-T hopefully they stay friends and she shows up in other seasons!!
Have I mentioned that I love the gorey fight scenes? Because I really really do. It’s the whole reason I started watching Invincible. So the scene with Mark beating the life out of that slimy megamind with the name I don’t remember? AMAZING. For me, anyway. Mark experiencing the panic and mania right after was still not so great for him, but for me? Good soup. I like my soup seasoned with extra angst, morality struggles, and mental breakdowns. Yum.
Mark hugging his mom so so tight after he gets back to his dimension and curling up crying on the hospital bed next to her? Hitting a little too close to home. Had to pause to wipe my eyes. Also grape baby Oliver has all my love. If something happens to that child, I’ll want to burn the world down. Mark Grayson probably will.
Mark telling his mom he needs to get better so he’s leaving college. ouch. “I need to learn to control myself”… “I can’t be like dad”… gods above. And also “what am I going to do, become a dentist?” LMAO it sucks but he’s right, unless some crazy shit happens and his morality suddenly crumbles to dust, he’ll be a superhero. Because with great power comes great responsibility and all that. There’s usually a bonus savior complex included in the package, but everybody doesn’t learn about that until later womp womp. He and Amber talked about it too, she said something like “if you were the type of person who didn’t immediately leave to go save people, we wouldn’t be dating”. PERIOD.
Don’t even get me started on that last line from Nolan. Caught me by surprise, came out of nowhere. “I think I miss my wife.” STRIKE ME DEAD… I actually shed tears. After everything he’s done, after getting a new wife and having another child and seeing Mark again,,, this bastard is just now missing his wife?? He’s so fucked up fr. But the pain in his voice, BRO, he sounds so confused and heartbroken, like he’s wondering how after everything he’s done to earth and their family, how can he still miss his wife when he doesn’t even deserve to think her name??
Man. This show. So many different subplots and they come together like *chefs kiss* it’s amazing. This show makes me FEEL, even for the characters that I thought I’d always hate… the writers and actors and everyone make all of the characters so human it hurts. EVEN WHEN THE CHARACTERS ARE ALIENS—
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saltyowlet · 8 months
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Some Tav lore dump cause I'm on that good brain rot. Introducing my main Tavs, Eve and Olive. Spoilers for Act1 and 2
Eve:
Chaotic good; doesn't have a plan but got the spirit
Druid, Circle of the Moon. Fav wild shape is bear and spider. She likes to look intimidating. Multiclass eventually as a barbarian as she's gotten more Angier and short fused cause a certain goddess
Is quite a fan of Halsin and his work. May have fangirled when she first met him. Doesn't hurt that he's so beefy and hot
Polyamory but fell for Gale enough where she isn't bother about being monogamous. Plus, she's too busy trying to fight Mystra.
Would have punched Mystra if she ever saw her. What do you mean you told your Chosen to kill himself???
Totally hooked up with Astarion that one time but ended it with him cause the man had googly eyes for the leader of the pack. Actually became a good friend of his cause of how earnest she was
Fell head over heals for Gale. She likes smart men, plus, listening to him talk and lecture is hot to her. She's not the smartest person, so it's nice to be with someone who is. Gale's way with words? Mr. I've got a practiced tongue? She was a goner
Mighty insecurities about how others respond to her looks. She knows she's pretty, but it annoys her that it's one of the only things people care about.
Looks sweet and innocent but regularly digs through dead bodies and viscera for supplies. Her circle regularly studied dead animals and people for information and understanding of nature ethically. She would be a doctor or mortician in another life.
The type to respond to a dare by upping the ante.
Sleeps top less much to the chagrin of the camp. Nudism was a common thing in her former circle. Gale is not bothered by it at a certain point.
Olive:
Said leader of the pack. Reluctant cause why is everyone going to her for advice and decision making???. She just helped a few people, and now everyone decides she was the leader?
Monk, Way of the 4 Elements. Possible multiclass as a rogue cause Astarion influences. Plus, really good dex
A durge trying her best to stop being so stabby. Regularly throws up and self hurt cause she really is disgusted by her thoughts. She moves her tent far from camp after a certain night in Act1.
Neutral good or True neutral.
Initially, she was not into helping others besides her camp cause turning a mind flayer is kind of dire, but if helping someone benefited them with finding the cure, then fine, she'll help.
However, after seeing what happened to the tieflings in Act2, she became more assertive and vowed to get them safe. It becomes a turning point in how she responds to conflicts and her role as the leader of the camp. Talked her way through all the bbg in Moonrise
Most actions are done for the good of the camp or by guilt. Altruism isn't her Forte, but it doesn't hurt to do if it's on the way. Miss. "I'm not being nice I'm being efficient."
Fuck the gods.
Confession immediately after the orthon fight was cute cause she talked her way out of orthon encounter. Astarion found it extremely terrifying, impressive, and kinda hot. She was a sobbing mess after confession, she had fallen hard for him and didn't know how to deal with happiness. They started sleeping in the same tent from then on.
Enemies to rivals to lovers Astarion. Mostly cause of trauma bonding. Didn't care about him cause she doesn't like overly flirty people. But after bard death, her guilt gave way to sympathy for Astarion's own problems. More lax about his "evil" side so long as it's within reason and doesn't go too far. She knows he's mostly all talk
Astarion had some competition cause everyone in camp ended up having some form of a crush on her. Plus, she had a crush on Wyll but squished that after the bard night.
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Never cared for sex. Likes makeouts and the occasional Astarion whispers of sweet nothings. Only slept with him 1 time before confession cause she could tell Astarion needed to, even if she didn't know why.
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Ngl, my art doesn't do justice on how beautiful Eve
Olive is a bit easier but her tattoos are difficult. I do like how her skin tone can go from light blue to green depending on the lighting in the game
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Hey, who are your fav ships (can be canon or non canon) from anywhere (animanga, tv shows, books, movies, etc)? Why you love them?
My favorite ships, huh? Well, I have touched on this already, but I will tell you the reason for my big ones...
NejiNaru: This was my first Fanon ship and my first Yaoi ship. You see, the Naruto series was my first anime obsession, and even now I still think up stories for it. I loved how Naruto was able to prove Neji's philosophy wrong and change Neji for the better. Neji thought highly of Naruto after that, an example of this is during the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, when Neji said that sometimes Naruto's eyes were better than his own. It hurt me in the feels when Neji died, but in my ship obsessed mind, the fact that he died in Naruto's arms was beautiful.
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TodoDeku: First MHA ship and also my first trip into the Omegaverse fanfics. The reason is the same for NejiNaru. Shoto was pretty cold and aloof until his famous fight with Izuku, where our green-haired hero allowed himself to lose the fight and get seriously hurt for the sake of helping Shoto overcome his reluctance to use the fire half of his quirk. Izuku's bright, sun-shiny nature helps Shoto to open up and bond with people.
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BakuDeku: This dynamic is different from TodoDeku. They were childhood friends from way back until Katsuki awoke his quirk and Izuku was found to be quirkless. Katsuki started looking down on Izuku, giving him the insulting nickname Deku because he wanted to feel superior to Deku. In reality, he felt weaker than Deku because he had the spirit of a hero. After the two of them joined U.A., this schism really became apparent. Slowly though, Katsuki starts to come to terms with his treatment of Deku and he wants to apologize. When Deku goes rogue, Katsuki joins the rest of 1-A in tracking him down to bring him home. This culminates with everything and leads to the apology that Katsuki wants to give. Their bond starts to strengthen, to the point that Katsuki is willing to give his life to protect Izuku.
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DabiDeku: This is what I consider a "crack" ship, as I know it wouldn't happen in a million years, but I am drawn to it all the same!
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MadaNaru: Another "crack" ship, but like the previous ship, I am simply drawn to it. Hell, I even started writing a fanfic of the ship when I was still active on FanFiction.net. It was quite popular too.
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These are my big ships but check out my first post to see a growing list of ships that I like. New ones pop up occasionally.
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221bshrlocked · 4 years
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sweaty hands, reluctant hearts
Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Fem!Reader
Words: 13685 (god this wasn’t supposed to be this long I’m actually sorry this time)
Warnings: Angst and Smut (my fav). Hurt/Jealous Mando -> Touch Starved/Rough Mando -> Fluffy Mando -> Shy Mando. Penetrative Sex. Oral Sex. There’s lot’s of sweat because exertion yall. Breeding Kink 😏. Slight Exhibitionism. Overstimulation and slight slight non-con because of oversensitivity. Umm, squirting 🙃. Dirty/Sweet talk. Spanking (ass and hoohaa).
Summary: He never thought the day would come when he’d hear you saying you wanted to leave him. Yes there was an understanding between the two of you that you were hired to help him care for the Child and to somehow keep the Razor Crest alive and working. And he knew it made sense for you to find work elsewhere now that the Razor Crest was destroyed and the Child was with his own kind. But he just assumed you weren’t going to leave considering it’s been a couple of months since he’d given the kid to the Jedi and you never brought it up. It hurt hearing you say those words, especially when he realized he wasn’t meant to hear them and that you were confiding in Cobb Vanth of all people. Turns out, all Mando needed was to see the Marshal eye-fucking you as you fixed the new ship and overshared your thoughts for him to snap and finally make a move. Hopefully he can change your mind...
A/N: Yall, this is post Season 2 so sadly Grogu is not here, hence the angst! Umm, this was a lot to handle because you know, that gif here. Enjoy ☺️
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It’s been months since the events that transpired on the cruiser. Months since he’d given away a piece of himself to an unknown being. Months since he’d sat down and re-evaluated his life’s mission. He wasn’t sure why he’d chosen to return to Tatooine of all planets but he needed some time to think of his next steps. So much has changed over the course of the past year and it took the Mandalorian longer than usual to realize that he can’t use bounty hunting to fill the void in his heart. 
One thing he did know for sure, however, was that he couldn’t have managed to survive the emotional and physical changes without your presence. Somehow, you’ve managed to make his life easier and by a whole lot. He has never felt this grateful for having a companion, maker, didn’t even think it possible to ever consider another as such. He’d spent years and years living by the Creed and never once doubting his way of living, but he found himself questioning everything about himself when you came in. It wasn’t that he was suddenly open to the idea of taking his helmet off or anything, it was more of a passing thought on what it would be like if he were to open up to you more, perhaps even share with you more than his name and an abridged version of how he became a Mandalorian. 
He mulled over how he would approach the topic with you, finding himself growing more nervous when he considered how you’d react. You’ve never given him any inclination of ever thinking of him as more than your boss and he knew he needed to figure out a way to make this seem natural and not forced. Frankly, he found it interesting how you managed to read him better than anyone he’s ever met, and he wished he could ask you how you’d done so when he never took off his helmet. 
Mando pushed the thought aside for now, cursing to himself as he dragged the giant piece of scrap you’d requested for him to pick up from Peli. He wanted to argue with you then, tell you that the only reason for coming to this awfully hot planet was to take some time off, if that was even possible, and avoid falling into the temptation of another mission. But he couldn’t find it in himself to say any of these things, mostly because you were the one that managed to procure the new ship for him and you were also the one that told him the two of you were in serious need of rest. He’d only realized the ship needed fixing when he landed and you told him you would get right on as soon as he picked up the necessary pieces from Peli. He felt a little out of the loop when he’d gone to her and found her giving him everything you’d requested for, and he knew you must have contacted her before you landed or else she wouldn’t have been this quick. 
As he made his way through the quiet “streets” of Mos Pelgo, he thought back to what Peli said to him an hour ago. Had he not considered her as a friend, he would have responded rudely when she bugged him about you. As much as he wished to humor the idea that you looked at him as more than a colleague, partner, whatever it was the two of you were, he didn’t want to grow any more false hope, especially now that he’d already given up the one thing that managed to crawl into his heart. 
Mando saw that you’d moved the ship behind the cantina and he chose to blame the heat for the way his skin crawled with goosebumps because no, he didn’t suddenly feel calm at the thought of you. 
He shook his head from the intruding thought and was about to say something to you when he saw who was standing nearby. If there was ever a time where he didn’t wish to see Cobb Vanth, it was definitely now. The bounty hunter put down the scraps of metal before moving closer to where the two of you were standing. He was sheltered behind a shack of sorts and allowed his heart rate to return to normal before listening in on you. 
“I don’t believe you sweetheart.” The Marshal threw back his drink and shook his head when you shrugged your shoulders at him and Mando felt his stomach twist at the endearment. Since when were the two of you on such a close basis?
“Believe whatever you want Marshal, I was only answering your question. Besides, it’s not like I’m actively looking right now.” Mando watched as you swiped the sweat rolling down your face with the back of your hand and swore when he felt the fabric of his pants grow tighter around his crotch. He felt dirty watching your every move, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the way your muscles gleamed under the excruciating sun rays. He cursed the day you bought that garment and he recalled back to the first time he watched you work in it. Mando had almost tripped over the child that day because he never expected to see you walking around with the chest binding so visible to his eyes. It was worse when you reached up high for something because if his eyes lingered long enough, he could see your undergarment peeking from the low-hanging pants of the overalls. 
The bounty hunter had to take a few deep breaths to move on from the inappropriate thoughts he was having and he narrowed his eyes at Cobb when he saw him walk closer to you. 
“Are you ever going to tell him?” The Mandalorian watched as your expression shifted slowly to a more sombre look and he was familiar enough with you to know that you weren’t too happy with that question or the answer you were going to give Cobb. 
“I- I don’t know. I wish I could tell him about how I fe- what I’m thinking about but I can’t...and I also can’t just say ‘Hey Mando, I had a blast taking care of the kid and getting hunted by the kriffing Empire. I fixed the ship for you so see you later.’ It’s not right and I didn’t realize it would be this difficult to come to terms with what I have to do. But I can’t keep doing this, it’s not fair.” 
Whatever the Mandalorian thought you were going to say, that certainly didn’t make the top of the list. He almost fell back when he registered the meaning behind your words. You wanted to leave. You’ve been wanting to move on for a while and you weren’t sure how to tell him. You were confiding in Cobb Vanth of all people and relying on his opinion to decide what you were going to do. A thousand thoughts flew through his mind and he tried to see if he’d done anything wrong. Besides the whole thing with Gideon and Bo Katana, there wasn’t really anything he’d done that would inspire such a reaction from you. Not that those weren’t enough to change your mind about staying with him but it was all in the past now. 
The sound of laughter broke Mando out of his haze and he turned towards you again, watching as you slithered down the ship, clenching his fists tightly when he saw Cobb grab your hips to help you down. He was torn between strutting towards the two of you and punching the daylights out of him and remaining where he was to listen in on your conversation. He had no right to do either, but he needed to know.
“I hate to ask you this question because it defeats the whole purpose of this entire chat but...have you thought of how he’d take it? Should you decide on-” You pointed to something on the floor and Cobb leaned down to grab it for you, handing it and gauging your reaction to his question as you continued to work. 
“Why else do you think I’ve been putting this off? Of course I’ve thought of how he’d react. But I deserve more than...ugh, I don’t mind this, I swear I don’t, but I also can’t just sit back and pretend I don’t want more.” You motioned violently to the ship and to what you were doing as you spoke, shaking your head at the man smiling smugly in front of you before throwing out the tools and snatching his drink from him. 
Mando couldn’t stand to be near you, not after what he’d heard and certainly not after taking in your body language and the way Cobb was practically undressing you without shame. He stepped back, leaving the scraps where they were and heading to the cantina to take his mind off of what he’d just witnessed. He walked in and paid no mind to the patrons scattered across the room, handing the man behind the counter more credits than he cared to count and asking him for his strongest stuff. He didn’t bother to address the judgmental stare he was receiving and took hold of the bottle before walking out again. 
It was close to sunset and the Mandalorian walked until the edge of the town before deciding to continue until he reached a small hill filled with large boulders. Sliding down one of the rocks, he sighed deeply before taking off his helmet, the hissing sound instilling a sense of guilt deep in his chest. He was ashamed at feeling such an emotion towards what he based his entire life on. But he couldn’t take it anymore. His anger rose as he opened the large bottle in his hand, throwing it back until he felt the stinging drink burn his throat for a few seconds before aggressively setting it on the floor next to him. 
Mando wasn’t able to put what he was feeling into a proper string of thoughts but he did know it was an odd mixture of hurt and anger with a tiny bit of sexual frustration. He couldn’t get the image of you sweaty and heaving as you worked on his ship out of his mind, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back to meditate back on the way your muscles clenched and pulled every time you molded two metal scraps together or how they positively shined when you carried things across the sand. He’d tried his hardest to set all of these feelings and rather inappropriate thoughts aside but he couldn’t any longer. Not when there was a chance of you leaving him, and perhaps to someone like the Marshal too. 
Perhaps it was unwise to deny his heart’s desires for so long and Mando was sure that he’d met his breaking point because he couldn’t stop thinking about you. Normally, he was able to distract himself and force his mind to stray away from conjuring up the filthiest images of you wreathing and crying beneath him as he drove his cock into your heat. But he had no hold over his mind at this moment, not that he was to blame. He went from shutting his own self out to opening the floodgates, and there was no going back. 
He sighed heavily when his thoughts shifted to what you said about him and he took a long sip from the bottle before turning his attention to the setting suns. He didn’t know what he could even say if you ever approached the topic with him. You’d been wanting to leave for a while now and somehow managed to hide it from him. All those nights spent running from Moff Gideon and other bounty hunters and you haven’t complained once, choosing to keep it to yourself. He wasn’t sure if he was hurt because you felt the need to hide something like this from him or because you were awfully understanding of how these complaints could distract him. 
And then there was the whole thing with the ship. He had assumed that the two of you sort of shared it now but it seemed that you never saw it as belonging to you but only to him. And you went out of your way to fix it now when you didn’t have to. Mando didn’t notice his tears until he licked his drying lips and tasted the saltiness across his mouth. He wiped his cheeks and laughed at himself. When had he become like this? First it was the child and now you. 
He wished he could take it all back, to have never met the kid or you. His life was simple and not complicated and now, now he was faced with the prospect of losing you as well. The bounty hunter dismissed the thought as quickly as it came because he knew deep down that it was better to have had the two of you in his life, even for a short while, than to have never known you. It wasn’t ideal but since when was his life ideal?
As the suns set beneath the sky, the Mandalorian looked down and saw that the bottle was still almost full. Not wanting to finish it now, because he might actually need it later when you decide to leave, Mando stood up and slowly made his way back into town. He needed to sleep, not to rest but to put a pause on his rather depressing thoughts if only for a little bit. When he saw the town come into view, he took a deep breath and put his helmet back on. 
The town was quieter than usual and the Mandalorian found himself going straight to the ship instead of joining the others. He’d spent the past few days enjoying his nights in the corner of the busy cantina, watching as you won one Sabacc game after another without breaking a sweat while everyone groaned in annoyance at how well you were kicking their asses. But he couldn’t trust himself tonight, not around you and certainly not around the Marshal. 
Trying not to bring too much attention to himself, Mando walked past the cantina towards the ship, already thinking of how relieved he’d be once he used the refresher. Going up the ramp, he was about to walk to the small, private room near the cockpit to grab a change of clothes when he heard a loud shriek that sounded a lot like his name coming from the opposite end of the ship. Mando quickly turned around and shut his eyes in exasperation when he saw you approaching him far angrier than he’d ever seen you. He set the bottle down and turned his attention towards you, raising an eyebrow to himself when he saw your chest heaving beneath the chest band. He averted his eyes quickly, refusing to think of you sweaty and breathless under other circumstances. Maker, he couldn’t go no like this.
“Where in the kriffing hell have you been? You were supposed to bring the parts from Peli hours ago and I have to find out from some kid that you just left them on the ground and walked away to- hell, I don’t even know what was more important for you than bringing me the scraps so I could fix the ship? Really, Mando, I understand that it’s been a little weird and difficult lately but I barely ask for anything and, ugh, maker.” You held back from voicing more of your thoughts, afraid that you’ve already gone far with asking him where he was. He didn’t really need to tell you what his business was but you’d assumed the two of you have come to an understanding regarding such matters, at the very least to ensure everyone’s safety. 
Mando stood there in silence and took a deep breath before turning around and walking into his room, afraid he’d give himself away if he tried to respond to you.
You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration when he quietly walked away from you, anger rising in your chest as he came out and made his way past you to the refresher. Before you could think twice of what you were doing, you were sprinting past him and standing in front of the open door, pushing your fingers into his beskar-clad chest as you hissed at him.
“I’m not sure what happened or why you’re giving me the silent treatment right now but this is not how we deal with our problems okay.” Mando took a few steps back as you continued to shove your finger into him, trying his hardest to not grab your wrist and push you against the nearest wall. “We talk things out and we come up with a way to fix things and compromise if need be.” Mando’s back hit the wall, and he threw his head back to avoid your gaze, unable to hold back the chuckle that rose from beneath the helmet at your words. 
How ironic.
“Did I say something funny?” You narrowed your eyes up at him and wished for once that he’d remove that god damn helmet so you could gauge his reaction.
“You mean we should talk things out like you and Cobb Vanth today? Or would it be different?” Mando’s chest tightened when he noticed the surprised expression on your face, knowing very well this was not what you expected to hear from him. He was a rational man, never once letting his mind give away to such simplistic thoughts but you’d struck a nerve and he could no longer hide his jealousy. Yes, it was jealousy. As much as he hated to admit it, that’s what he was feeling right now, what he’s been feeling all day long. It was childish and unlike him but it wasn’t going to do him any good if he continued to ignore it. 
“I’m dying to know if that’s what you mean. You obviously don’t have an issue telling him about how difficult it’s been working with me and how you can’t keep doing this.” It was your turn to take a few steps back when you saw his shoulders push out and make him taller than he already was. He continued to walk towards you, throwing his clothes to the ground and almost apologizing when you tripped on your feet when he was only a foot away from you.
“How about this, let’s start with what you apparently wish you could tell me but can’t seem to find the right words to do so. What was it you said to him? You deserve more than taking care of a kid and constantly escaping the Empire and other bounty hunters? Or wait, how can I forget...it’s not fair dealing with this mess of a ship and you’re looking for somewhere else to go?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as the Mandalorian repeated back the words you voiced perhaps a little too loudly earlier today, already feeling your eyes fill with unshed tears at harsh his tone. 
“I- I didn’t…you weren’t meant to-” You tripped over your words and almost flinched when he cut you off. 
“What? I wasn’t supposed to hear you say any of those things? A little strange don’t you think, since you seemed to have a lot to say about me to the Marshal.” Mando should have stopped himself from saying the next few words but his heart was torn into a million pieces and it wasn’t fair for him either.
“Well guess what, sweetheart, the Razor Crest blew up. Moff Gideon is taken care of and the Empire isn’t after us anymore. Every bounty hunter knows better than to so much as look at me and...and the kid isn’t around anymore for you to take care of. He’s gone, I lost him. So if you were worried about hurting me, you’re a little too late for that.” The Mandalorian barely held himself back from pulling you into his arms when he saw tears rolling down your cheek, clenching his fists tightly when he noticed the way you hugged yourself and frowned at him.
“Din-” It broke him to hear you use his name, especially now of all times. He hasn’t heard you say it once in the past few months, even when the two of you were alone. It was the twisting of the knife, and he bit his tongue to distract himself from saying something he couldn’t possibly take back.
“Do what you want, I won’t stand in the way. Besides, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to help you out with whatever it was you were telling him today. After all, you deserve more right? Deserve someone more than me...someone who’s willing to share a lot more than his name.” Not bothering to wait for a response, Mando stepped away and walked back to his room, not caring about the clothes on the ground or how hurt you must have been feeling from listening to him. 
He softly shut the door behind him and moved to his bed, throwing himself on it and hanging his head low to catch his breath. This was not how he saw the night going, not remotely. He was hoping to ask you about this tomorrow in a less hostile manner and without making it seem like he was blaming you. But something about your words struck a nerve in him and he wasn’t able to hold back anymore, not when you were suggesting things you yourself weren’t willing to follow.
Din wasn’t sure how long he sat there in silence but the hissing sound of the door opening brought him back from his haze and he opened his eyes when he heard you walking towards him. You’d never once come into his room, not even when he occasionally gave you permission. You sniffed twice before approaching the bed and standing right in front of him and he was reminded of when the child would cry to try to catch his attention. 
“Din, it was never my intention to hurt you. I was trying to do the opposite..thought I was doing the right thing by thinking about this before I could talk to you but I’m realizing now that I’ve hurt you.” Din noticed the way you were ringing your fingers nervously and held himself back from taking your hands into his to try and put you at ease. 
“I- I only spoke with Cobb because he- because he noticed the way I was looking at you. He noticed how I can never seem to focus on anything or anyone else when you’re around. He- he could tell I was having a hard time coming to terms with how I feel about you...how I’ve felt about you for a while now.” Din’s heart skipped a beat at your confessions, unable to properly register what you were implying because he could never even humor the idea that you’d have feelings for him. He raised his head and finally looked at you, frowning when he saw how red your eyes were from crying. 
“The last thing I want to do is to leave you, please believe me. But I wasn’t sure if you even wanted me around after...after everything with Moff Gideon and the Jedi. As far as I knew, you brought me on to take care of Grogu and fix the Razor Crest. We’ve barely spoken ever since the cruiser and I just thought that I was only around because you couldn’t find the time to tell me that you don’t need me anymore.” Hearing you say that you thought he didn’t need you caught Din off guard and he wasn’t able to hold back anymore, instantly taking hold of your hands and pulling you towards him until you were standing in between his legs. You swallowed the lump in your throat and maintained your gaze on his visor, hoping that he could see how truthful you were being with him and maybe respond, if only with just a simple word. 
“When I said I deserved more, I was just- I swear I wasn’t talking about your Creed or wanting to see you. As much as I wish that was possible, I would never...could never ask you for something like that. I was only telling him that I might need some time away to maybe forget how...maker, to perhaps try and set aside my emotions because the last thing you need right now is for me to lay that on you. I don’t want you to think that you owe me anything because you don’t, gods you don’t owe anyone anything, not after what you’ve been through. But I could feel myself becoming more attached to you, especially after everything that happened on the cruiser. I want more with you but I don’t want to push you towards anything you’re not ready for.” Before you could wipe the tears away from your cheeks, Din was raising his glove-covered fingers and softly skimming them over your skin, and he hadn’t realized how harsh and loud his breathing was until he felt you rest your hand on his chest.
“There’s nothing between me and Cobb. And you should know by now that he’s...friendly, with everyone.” You smiled shyly at him before leaning into the hand resting on your cheek, nuzzling further into his palm when he swiped his thumb against your lower lip. There was so much Din wanted to say but he couldn’t find the right words that would convey what he was feeling. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind about your admission and the fact that you have been returning his affection for a while now. 
Din didn’t realize how long he was quiet until you cleared your throat and let go of his hand, stepping away from him and looking around to see if you should just leave. Before you could head to the door, however, Din was standing up and moving towards you, his eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort before he made his next move. Your chest was rising and falling a little quicker than he liked but he quickly realized it was probably because of how you were coming to terms with what you just said to him. 
You watched as he took his gloves off and set them on the small table behind you, suppressing a gasp when you felt his warm, calloused hands wrap around yours before bringing them to his helmet. He could tell you were letting him control all of your movements and found it difficult to accept just how much you were willing to give to him.
“As much as I hate to admit it, I have been thinking about this for a while.” Din smiled when he saw your eyebrows furrow in question at his words. “Taking this off.” He saw the moment you understood what he was saying, not expecting you to pull your hands away from him and taking a few steps back until your back was against the wall.
“That’s...that’s not what I- Din, I wasn’t lying when I said it wouldn’t matter to me if-” He smiled at how defensive you suddenly were and stepped towards you once more, and you found it annoying that he barely kept a foot between you two, his natural scent hitting you like a blaster to the gut. 
“I know.” Din cut you off before taking your hands into his once more, rubbing your knuckles to put you at ease as he continued. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and- it’s not that I’ll walk around without it now, far from it. It’ll only be when we’re alone, when no one is around.” He hoped you could read in between the lines because this would be the closest he’d come to admitting how important you were to him, for now at least.
“Besides, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” 
That definitely snapped you out of your haze and you tilted your head to the side before asking home what he was referring to. 
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Din raised an eyebrow at your response. Have you already forgotten?
“On the cruiser, when I- before Grogu went with the Jedi.” His hands tightened around your fingers as he said the child’s name and you were momentarily distracted before realizing what he meant. 
“Din I...I never saw you.” 
For a split second, it felt like someone had taken Din and carbon froze him before throwing him on an ice planet. 
“What?” He held his breath, unable to move a muscle until he made sure he heard you correctly. 
“I never saw you. I turned around when you reached for your helmet. I didn’t...it was a moment with you and Grogu. It didn’t feel right to look at you.” You tried to maintain a semblance of control on your voice but it cracked a few times as you admitted to him. As much as you yearned to see him without the mask, you didn’t think it proper without his clear consent. 
Din’s sudden intake of breath made you nervous and you hated how for a moment, you wished you didn’t tell him because there was now a high probability that he wouldn’t take the mask off. 
“Cyar'ika, please.” you shivered at the low tone of his voice, finding it harder to focus on anything but the touch of his skin. Once again, Din slowly brought your hands to the sides of his visor, pushing the palm of your hands on the beskar and softly nodding at you. A sudden sense of relief washed over him when he saw the slight nod of your head. 
Din found it endearing how your whole face scrunched up in focus as the two of you slowly pulled the helmet off of his head, the soft hissing sound as it unlocked making your hands dampen with sweat. As you raised the visor along with him, you couldn’t help but shut your eyes as soon as you saw the skin of his chin. Unbeknownst to you, Din was watching your every reaction and felt a little nudge in his chest when he saw how tightly shut your eyes were. When the beskar was off completely, Din took it from your hands and placed it next to him, swallowing the lump in his throat when he turned back and saw you were still refusing to look at him.
He reluctantly took your hands into his and placed them on his chest, hoping that you’d finally open your eyes without him begging you again. 
“I’m sorry I- maker, this is..this is probably more intense for you than it is for me and I’m not making it any better with my nervousness and- okay. Okay.” You took a deep breath before allowing your eyes to flutter open, unable to exhale as soon as you laid your gaze on him. Din was probably unaware of how nervous he looked and it took you a few longer seconds to realize you needed to breathe again. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, the long nights where you imagined what he could look like fading into thin air because nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared you for what you were currency seeing. 
His features were somehow soft but a little rugged, and you found yourself committing every inch of his skin to memory, filling your mind’s eye with every minute facial expression so you could dream of him when you fall asleep. It was oddly not surprising at all that he had a stubble, the scattered dark and slightly graying hairs across his jaw and above his lips making him seem older than he probably was. And you weren’t sure if he knew he was furrowing his eyebrows and then you realized he most likely didn’t because he was so used to wearing his helmet that he never had to learn how to control his facial expressions around anyone. And it was endearing how his nose flared as he continued to breathe heavily under your gaze, and if it weren’t for the fact that this was a serious moment, you would have leaned over and kissed the curved bridge of his nose and the scrunch of his eyebrows to put him at ease. 
Din wasn’t sure what he thought your reaction would be and he felt his chest tighten with every long moment you spent without so much as a comment. 
You were unaware of how long this dreadful moment must have been for the Mandalorian and you continued to study him in hopes of finding answers to questions you’ve wished you could ask him ever since he hired you. There were heavy bags under his eyes and you wished you were more persistent with him when it came to his resting schedule but he always seemed to wave you off whenever you told him he needed to sleep. Though you knew this stress had to do more with Grogu no longer being here and less with how often he slept. You had half expected to find his gaze harsh and far off but when you did finally meet his eyes, you found them filled with unshed tears and a multitude of emotions that you knew would go unexplained until he had the strength to voice them. They were a deep and beautiful shade of brown, ones you knew you’d never be able to turn away from now that you’ve had a proper look at him. And you couldn’t help but notice how their color reminded you of a Nightbloomer just after you picked it from its roots. 
All of that, however, could not compare to when you finally let your eyes descend to his lips. They were a darker shade of pink, and you swore you saw them parting as soon as you looked at them. His lower lip was trembling and you wished more than anything to swipe your thumb against it if only to feel the soft skin melt at your touch. You wished that was as far as your mind had gone but the longer you looked at the curve of his mouth, the more you wished you could lean forward and mold your lips with his. It was even worse because you had a feeling that the stubble of his mustache would cause the softest of burns on your lips. 
Din could no longer take the loud silence enveloping the room and he swallowed nervously when he saw how focused you seemed to be on his lips. He had some idea of what you were probably thinking because he was thinking the exact same thing but he wasn’t sure if he should be the one to make the first move. This reluctance evaporated when he noticed the way your eyes instantly moved to his neck as the cartilage moved and returned to rest when he gulped, and he realized that you may have been having slightly more inappropriate thoughts than he originally thought.
He was about to voice his worries when he saw your hands move from his beskar-clad chest to his face and he couldn’t stop himself from looking down apprehensively at the digits moving closer to his skin. You misunderstood his nervousness for uncomfort and immediately ceased all movements, returning your focus on his eyes to look for any inclination as to what he wanted. 
“Can I- mhmm, may I touch you?” Your whispered question was too loud for the two of you and Din parted his lips to say something but noticed how dry his throat was and realized he couldn’t trust his own voice. Nodding slightly at your request, he waited with bated breath as your fingers rose to his face and found himself shaking with anticipation at the prospect of finally feeling your touch on the most intimate part of him. 
When you were only a few inches away from him, Din felt his heart thumping wildly at his chest and he immediately shut his eyes when he felt the feather-light touch of your fingers on his cheeks. The harsh yet shaky intake of breath almost made you lose control and you had to remind yourself that, besides Grogu, you were the only one to ever touch him so intimately and so softly since he was a child. As much as you wished to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer so you could lay as many kisses on his face as you could, you knew it would be too much for him and that he needed you to go slow with him. He was practically shattering under your attention and you hoped he would allow you to do this as many times as possible in the coming days. 
Din couldn’t put a name to what he was experiencing at the moment but he knew he didn’t want you to stop touching him, ever again. He decided that he’d spend every moment with you alone without his helmet and with yours hands skimming some part of him. The longer you kept your palms on his cheeks, the calmer his heart beat and it wasn’t until a few moments later that he realized his eyes were shut. As they slowly fluttered open, he was met with the most beautiful sight in the world: your own deep irises staring at your own thumb as it softly passed over his quivering lips. 
“You’re...beautiful.” 
It was a simple truth and you wished there was a more sincere word you could use to describe what he was to you, what he meant to you but your mind was overflowing with images of waking up next to him every day and kissing his eyes and cheeks and nose and lips and anywhere else you could reach. 
Din’s hold tightened around your waist and you watched as he leaned forward until there was barely an inch between the two of you. 
“Mesh'la, I would really like to kiss you.” The request barely passed his lips yet you were already standing up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his, finding them as soft and gentle as you imagined them to be. Din was afraid his heart would give out any moment now because nothing could have prepared him for the taste of you, let alone the boldness with which you were claiming him. He sighed into you, unintentionally parting his lips and pushing you harder into the wall when he felt your tongue sneak into his mouth and explore him. Din wasn’t sure what he should be doing but then you were moving your hands to the nape of his neck and tangling your fingers into his hair and he all but lost it. As you gently tugged on his hair, Din found himself mirroring your actions and before he knew it, the kiss was no longer innocent and sweet but hungry and needy. You sucked on his tongue and tilted your head to the side, wanting to commit every small detail to memory so when you shut your eyes at night, you’d kiss him in your dreams. 
Reluctantly, you pulled back for a second to allow the two of you to breathe but Din didn’t like that, chasing your mouth and molding his lips with yours once more to be certain that yes, this was happening, and that no, this was not a dream. You moaned into the kiss, finding his desperate need to claim your mouth again more of a turn on than you cared to admit. And then his hands were slipping inside your overalls and holding you against his chest, the warmth of him stretching down to where you wished you could feel him. 
This sudden intrusive thought and the harsh grasp of your hips snapped you out of your haze and you realized you should be slowing things down for his sake. Against your will, you gently pushed his chest away and tried to think of anything but the way he was heaving above you from the intensity of the kiss. When you looked at him and saw panic and hesitation etched on his face, you returned your hands to his cheeks again and lowered his head until it was resting against your own. 
“There’s nothing I want more than to feel every inch of your skin against mine right now...but- but I don’t want to push you to do something that- maker….that might be too much for you?” You pulled back and waited until he opened his eyes again before continuing. “I feel like you just made a dramatic decision by taking the helmet off in front of me and- and you’re probably feeling a multitude of emotions right now and I don’t want to make you think that I-” 
Din didn’t like what you were saying, frowning down at you as he grabbed the back of your neck and violently pulled you towards him again. You were surprised by the sudden shift of his touch, fisting your hands in his cowl as he devoured your lips once more, not really giving you a chance to say anything else. Biting your lower lip, Din abruptly ended the kiss and pressed his lips across your skin, nipping and licking at your jaw as he pulled your hair down until he had access to your neck. You gasped his name and felt his stubble scratch deliciously at your shoulder. As you moaned against the wall, Din couldn’t back anymore and bit down hard on your shoulder, smiling when he heard your breath hitch at his rough ministrations. 
“Din, oh gods, Din please.” You weren’t sure what you were asking of him exactly and you hoped he’d at the very least continue what he was doing. 
“Cyar'ika, I want to have you. I’ve spent many nights dreaming of your lips, your touch, y-your skin against mine as I-” Din hesitated and it wasn’t until you felt his fingers slipping beneath the chest band that you finally registered his voice. Fuck, how had you not notice it a second ago? You thought the vocoder was what altered it, made it deeper perhaps. But no, it only made it sound more intimidating. You weren’t sure what made you clench your thighs together, the way he spoke to you of his desires, or how strained and gruff his voice was as he whispered his secrets to you. You gulped loudly and hesitantly met his eyes, finding the soft brown irises barely visible, his dilated pupils letting you know what he was thinking. 
Licking your lips, you nodded at him and fell into a fit of giggles when he leaned down and picked you up as if you weighed nothing, quickly moving to his cot and laying you down on your back before moving away. You were about to ask him what he was doing when you saw his hands swiftly move through the beskar armor. For some reason, watching his hands expertly take off the cuirass and move to the beskar of his thighs made your heart skip a beat and you wouldn’t dare move a muscle, afraid to miss the show he was unintentionally putting on for you. So busy marveling at his deft fingers, you didn’t notice Din slowing his movements and looking at you, eyebrows raised in curiosity when he saw how hard you were breathing. 
You broke out of your trance when you saw he stopped moving, embarrassment washing over you when you realized Din had caught you shamelessly staring at him as he came closer to revealing to you more of his skin. You’d expected him to move on, or at least pretend he hadn’t just caught you licking your lips while staring at his fingers but no, it seemed that Din was very much enjoying the effect he had on you because his smile grew when he saw your eyes look past him, pretending to focus on something else behind him and not his hands. 
You never lost his attention though, and he maintained his eyes on you as he removed all of his armor and took his boots off. You tried to be a little more subtle but gave up when he leaned down over you and pushed you into his covers. You wanted to ask him why he was still dressed but bit back the inquiry, afraid he’d misunderstand and move away all together at your question. He captured your gaze and didn’t blink once as he slowly undid the buttons holding the overalls and you realized you would have preferred him to keep the helmet on because that meant you wouldn’t notice how passionate and direct his deep brown irises were. You’d expected him to be intense considering how touch-starved and lonely he was, but you never once thought he’d be this vigorous? Ardent? Maker, there wasn’t a single word that could describe the way he was looking at you right now.
Din kneeled at the foot of the bed, waiting until you finally noticed what he was doing and raising your hips before he pulled on the pants of the garment. He slipped your shoes off and finally removed the article of clothing that made his cheeks blush and pants tighten whenever you wore it. He would eventually tell you that this is how you came to him in his dreams almost every night, all spent and sweaty in that gods-forsaken fabric that gave him the perfect view of what you were wearing beneath. 
His focus shifted from your face down your damp skin and he breathed in deeply at the sight of your undergarment. Din almost choked on his breath when your legs parted for a moment, giving him a glimpse of the growing wet patch at the center of the flimsy material.
The Mandalorian wanted nothing more than to worship your body, kiss every part of you and whisper his devotion against your skin as he pleasured you over and over again. He’d spent countless nights imagining what he’d do to you if you were ever naked and willing in his arms and he was damned if he didn’t make sure you were thoroughly spent once he was done with you. He wanted to hear his name fall from your lips and he wanted to swallow your sighs and your moans as he sank into you all night long. And by the gods, he wanted to mark your neck and your arms and your waist, and nothing made him harder than picturing you doing the same to him, biting and nipping at his skin so he could wake up in the morning and watch the evidence of your lo- your touch on him. It didn’t matter that no one else would see those bruises but him and you. He just wanted you, in any way possible, sinking beneath his skin.
And then he heard his voice calling for you over the comm link just outside the room and something snapped deep in his chest. He looked up from you to the open door of his room and listened to the Marshal’s words. Your eyes widened in shock when you saw several emotions pass through Din’s eyes, the most prominent of which was anger, maybe hurt. Of all the times Cobb would ask you to join him for drinks, this was most definitely the worst of them. It didn’t help either that he was laughing over some inappropriate joke one of his friends was saying about your sabacc skills. It wouldn’t be the first time this happened and it certainly wouldn’t be the last but then Din was clenching his jaw tightly before looking down at you and you knew he wasn’t too happy. In fact, you had a pretty good idea which emotion won out and you hated how much it affected you, how wet you became as thoughts of the Mandalorian claiming you as his flooded your mind.
Before you could try and reason with him, attempt to tell him that it was just a game and that the Marshal’s friends were probably just teasing him, Din was standing up and stripping of his long-sleeve shirt, revealing his perfectly chiseled, bronze skin that had your mouth watering within moments. You noticed the few dozen scars littering his beautiful torso and wished you could kiss each one of them, the old ones and the fairly new ones, until they didn’t sting with pain. But Din had different plans for you and he didn’t give you a chance to question him as he took hold of both of your wrists and slammed them above your head. His hold was painful and it should have scared you how quickly his mood changed but you said nothing, looking into his dilated pupils as his nose flared and he growled at you.
“Keep yours hands there,” Din warns you with a piercing look and you gulp loudly before nodding at him in understanding. He removes his hand and kneels on the bed, eyes narrowing at you before they sought after your most private areas. He wasn’t sure where to begin. He’d given this much thought but now that he was here, he realized it was a more difficult decision than he anticipated. He’d longed to wrap his lips around those hardened peaks always teasing him through the chest band, lick them until you cried for him, perhaps begged him to stop because you were sensitive. But then he continued down the lines of your navel and found your parted legs much more inviting. 
Now that Din knew how you felt, there was no reason for him to feel jealous. But he couldn't stop himself, wanting to be certain that you knew as well as he who you belonged to. He hated himself for having such primitive thoughts about you. You were your own person that much was made clear early on. But he could hope at your words, couldn’t he? He could hope that you were now his, and that he was yours. Maker, he was always yours. He just couldn’t admit it to himself, his heart reluctant at opening up to another. 
Din was lost in thought longer than you liked and you moved your feet towards him, nudging his thigh in hopes of reassuring him that you were right here, in his bed, beneath him and at his mercy. Din’s eyes focused on your again and he looked down at the soft gesture, hands instantly grabbing at your ankles. You jumped at the sudden movement, trying your hardest not to whine at the painful grasp because somewhere deep inside of you, you wanted nothing more than to be marked by him. By his teeth, lips, fingers, any part of him. You didn’t care where you’d bear his touch, you just wanted to see it, touch it in the privacy of the refresher when he wasn’t around. 
Din saw the needy look you were throwing him and he knew that you were willing. Willing to go as far as he wanted, willing to completely submit your body and soul to him, willing to do whatever he wished of you.
Before your eyes could flutter closed, Din was pushing your legs wide open and falling in between them while maintaining his gaze on you. He almost smiled when your stomach shook at how feral he probably looked. Leaning forward, he closed his eyes as his mouth latched onto the wet patch forming on the soft fabric of your undergarment, moaning into your cunt as he savored the taste seeping through. You were surprised by the boldness of the action and wished for him to lick your skin instead. But there was something erotic about the desperation behind his actions, wanting to taste you so much that he didn’t care what he was licking. 
The thought was gone as soon as it appeared because you felt two fingers stretch beneath the waistband right before he ripped it off of your body, shoving the torn fabric in his nose and taking a long whiff of it before humming in approval. Your eyes widened in surprise at the filthiness of his action, hands shaking above you when he threw your panties expertly into his helmet. The thought of knowing that your scent could potentially stick to the inside of his helmet as he walked around twisted your insides and you whined shamelessly at him, wishing he could just take what he wanted. 
“Your sounds belong to me,” Din spoke with a commanding voice as he sank in between your thighs again, his tongue dragging across your folds so deliciously hard until he pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva behind. “Your arousal belongs to me,” his hands went to your thighs and he squeezed, knowing fully well there would be bruises dawning your beautiful, smooth body the following morning. Again, you fought to keep your eyes open, wanting to commit every second to memory but finding it difficult to focus on him and not the pleasure zapping down your back. “And I will be damned if this cunt,” Din let go of one of your thighs, pulling his tongue away from your core right before the palm of his hand landed a slap straight on your clit, “doesn’t belong to me either.” You cried out his name, legs shaking violently at the pain shooting through your clit. Din didn’t give you a moment to relax back down on the covers, spanking the outer folds of your pussy twice more consecutively before he replaced the harsh touch with his cooling tongue. Tears trailed down your cheeks as he fucked you with his tongue and lapped at you like you were the only source of water on this gods-forsaken planet. He rotated between soft, quick licks to long, harsh ones, occasionally sucking on your clit and grazing his teeth on the bundle of nerves until he was sure you were going crazy. 
“D-Din oh maker, please. Stop I- slow down.” His touches were far from gentle and the pleasure blurred into pain as you tried to reach that delicious peak you’ve longed for ever since you harbored feelings for the man above you. But he was making it difficult, his needy and erratic movements making it near impossible for you to dive into the lake of pleasure. You should have known that the Mandalorian was as intense in bed as he was in every other aspect of his life. You shut your thighs around his head, wanting to push him away as his teeth continued to graze against your wet folds and nip at the pulsating nub. 
“M-Mando...I can’t.” You couldn’t take it anymore, hands moving to his hair and fisting in the beautiful brown locks as you tried to push him away. As soon as Din felt the tight grasp on his hair, he snarled at you, pushing up on his knees and bending your body along with him until the only thing resting on the bed was your neck and your shoulders. You cried out for him, begging him to give you release but it only drove him mad with lust. His eyes locked on yours, daring you to look away from him as his fingers dug into your butt cheeks and pushed your cunt into his mouth. 
Din pulled away for a split second, biting your inner thighs to grab your attention.
“You will take what I give you ner Cyar’ika.” You saw a hint of darkness in his soulful brown eyes, and shivered at the mere implications of what he had in mind for you. Din sucked and licked at your folds like a crazed man, feeling your legs shaking on his shoulders. He pulled away for a second, and you had no time to beg him to be gentle as he slapped your heated core three times again, hissing when you shut your eyes and bucked against him, your juices drenching his face and chest, leaking down your back as he smiled before taking your cunt into his mouth one last time to prolong your pleasure. You were too busy trying to remain sane to realize what had just happened and Din slowly lowered you back onto the wet covers before letting go of you. You were panting beneath him, stomach fluttering from the force of your release and chest heaving as you tried to fill your lungs with air. 
When you opened your eyes and looked at Din, your eyes widened in horror when you saw his glistening skin, finally realizing what he'd just done to you. You flushed under the scrutiny of Din’s gaze, gasping as he wiped his mouth and jaw with the back of his hand as he looked down and chuckled at the wet spot beneath his knees. You quickly shut your legs and tried to crawl away from him but Din was faster, grabbing your ankle and pulling you back to him, the show of strength already making your cunt clench around nothing again.
“You do not run from me Ad’ika...nor hide from me ever again. I own your body, your skin, the cum still leaking out of this sweet cunt.” His words were filthy and you didn’t know how to react to this new possessiveness he was showing. He pushed open your thighs and fell in between him, bringing his chest flush against yours and kissing the breath out of you, not bothering to be gentle as his fingers twisted and pinched at your nipples. You clawed at his back, wanting more of him but not knowing if you would be able to take any more of what he was offering. 
He pulled away suddenly, his jaw clenching tightly as he took one look at the hands wrapped around his back. 
“Did I not tell you to not move your hands sweet girl?” He whispered against your lips, breathing in the air leaving your lungs as he pecked the corner of your mouth before flipping you over on your stomach. 
“I- I’m sorry...it was just t-too much and-” You couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence, screaming against the covers as you felt Din’s palm land on your ass. You looked back and saw him eyeing your reddening skin, looking up at you and smiling as he treated the other side with the same kindness. Four more times his hands smacked your ass and you were ashamed at how aroused his violent actions made you. When he snuck his fingers in between your thighs and swiped haphazardly at your folds, you moaned and bit into your wrist. 
“Filthy sweet girl,” Din whispered more to himself than you before he fisted his hand in your hair and pulled you flush to his chest, the slide of your dampened back against his sweaty chest bringing him more pleasure than he would have liked to admit because not a few hours ago, he was picturing your sweaty, glistening skin beneath him. And now that he had you here, he was going to make the best of it. 
“Mando, oh Mando-” As much as he loved hearing you scream his nickname in the throws of passion, he wished more to hear his given name fall from your lips. 
“My name...scream my name sweet girl. Let the stars know who pleasures you Cyare.” Din kissed your shoulder before biting into the sweaty flesh, the hand in your hair letting go right before wrapping softly around your throat and pressing you harder against him. Your hands twisted back to try and grab his hair but he immediately took your wrist and twisted it until it was behind you, between your back and his chest. 
“Ahh Din…” You wanted to beg him to allow you to touch him, tell him that you were yearning to touch him as much as he was in need of touching you. But you had a feeling that this wasn’t true, and that this was his way of being certain that you weren’t going to leave him. That you were his. 
If only he knew that you have already belonged to him. Long before tonight.
You felt each breath leave your lungs as Din tightened his grasp around your throat and you parted your lips to moan his name, only to feel his tongue shamelessly licking into your mouth. So distracted by the desperation in this kiss, you didn’t notice the fingers trailing down your chest and digging into your skin until the palm of his hand softly cupped one breast. Din teased you with feather light touches, flicking at one nipple before moving to the other and circling around it until it hardened. He continued to swallow your noises, sucking on your tongue to quiet you as he pinched your nipples. You twisted in his arms, wanting to reach for him again but knowing that he would probably pull your hand away. 
When Din pulled away to allow you to breathe, you panted and finally opened your eyes, not daring to look away as he kept you motionless with his gaze. Din watched as you tried to form a coherent thought, waiting until you parted your lips to speak to him before reaching down and cupping your quivering cunt as he broke the silence.
“This belongs to me,” your breath hitched when Din pressed the palm of his hand against you, not quite applying pressure on your clit but just enough to hold your focus. “Only I get to touch you, kiss you, watch you as you come undone in my arms.” You nodded briefly at him, continuing to hold eye contact as he began to increase his actions. “No one else will ever have you Cyar'ika. No one but me.” He slipped two fingers past your wet folds and rubbed against your walls, humming in approval when he felt you flutter around him the harder he shoved his fingers inside you. 
“I’m yours Din, y-yours. Whatever you want, oh gods please more...need more, Din you make me f-feel so good.” Din keened at your words, curling his hand until his palm was passing deliciously over your clit as his fingers picked up the pace. 
“That’s right sweet girl, you’re mine. Mine to fuck, mine to take whenever I want...mine to-” Din hesitated for a second, unable to voice his heart to you even though you’ve bared your soul for him. “Pal'vut at kar'taylir darasuum...kriffing gods you’re wet, so wet for me. Come on, cum for me again ner Cyare. Show me how good I make you feel. Show me how needy this little cunt is, fuck- I...can’t want to have you wrapped around my cock little one. Can’t wait to sink in this pussy, my sweet tight cunt, mark you with my seed, over and over again...fuck a load in you all night long till you can’t feel anything but my cum dripping down your thighs. Shit, I need you to cum, now!” Your mind became foggy with pleasure, unable to focus on anything but the words whispered into your ears as his thick fingers fucked into you. You grabbed the wrist of the hand wrapped around your throat, digging your nails into his skin as you came around his fingers. You almost fell forwards but Din held you flush against him, continuing to drive his digits into you and rub at your clit with this thumb until you were sobbing in his arms. 
“Beautiful,” Din kissed your shoulder as he slowly inched his hands away from you before laying you down slowly. His eyes took in the flushed, wet skin of your back, chuckling with pride when he saw your legs shaking as little sobs escaped your lips. Your breaths came in shallow and quick, and you tried to silence your whines by biting into your wrists but then you felt Din slide his hand back and forth on your back as he laid next to you and you shivered under his touch because from the way he was moving closer to you and touching you, there was no way he was done just yet. 
“You’re all I think about, every waking moment. It’s difficult to focus on anything else when you’re always in my mind Cyar'ika. I- I burn for you, for your lips to caress mine every moment, your eyes to never leave mine as I brand you, your skin against my own as you mark me with your touch. I- maker, I cannot think of a life without you here, with me…” Din thought he would have to force himself to say such things but he found it remarkably easy now that he had you here, responding so openly and shamelessly to him.
“Din,” you turned your head and shifted towards him, kissing the hand resting between the two of you before leaning your forehead against his and shutting your eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, for as long as you’ll have me.” Din ceased all movement at your words and he looked away from where he was stroking your back, meeting your eyes and furrowing his eyebrows before you felt him grab your arm and pull you on top of him. You surprised gasp died in your throat when you felt Din wrap his arms around your back and bring you against him until you could feel his chest hairs tickling your nipples. You could feel his cock jutting against your core through his pants and as you rested your hands on his chest and looked to him, you saw the frown ease from his expression, replaced with something akin to reverence. 
“I will have you until my dying breath Mesh’la. Let me show you how much I want you.” The force of his declaration hit you instantly and you pressed your lips against his just as you felt him rid himself of his pants. Din’s hands were roaming your back and you felt bolder with every caress, combing your fingers into his hair and pulling on it as he squeezed your ass and bucked into you. The growl emanating from his chest shot straight to your core and you raised yourself from him for a moment.
“Din, I want you. Crave to feel you inside me. Please, do it fast and don’t- don’t be gentle. Show me, show me how much you lo- want me.” Din’s heart skipped a beat at your words and he wasted no time, taking hold of his cock and teasing your clit with his leaking tip before slowly inching inside you. You shut your eyes and dug your nails into the back of his neck as he continued to sheath his dick deeper in your cunt. You could feel every ridge and pulsating vein dragging against your inner walls, finally allowing your lungs to breathe as you felt him nudge and twitch against that soft, spongy spot in your core. 
Neither of you moved for a few moments, with Din trying to wrap his mind around finally becoming one with you and feeling you clench so sweetly around him. He was torn between fucking up into you without mercy and taking it nice and slow until he pushed you over the edge again. But then you were gyrating your hips and sighing his name on his cheek and he knew what he wanted. 
Planting his feet on the damp covers, Din held you flush against him with one arm while resting his other hand on your thigh, nuzzling into the crook of your neck as he snapped his hips up before sinking into you again. You let out a surprised sob and rested your forehead against his shoulder, whispering more pleas against his skin and begging him to move. 
The usually quiet man breathed the sweetest wishes in your ears, thrusting up into you with immense force that made you clench tighter around him. “Ni copad gar an te ca'nara Ad’ika, ni vercopa be gar anay ca. You have made a home for yourself inside my heart.” Din felt your shaky breath blow on his neck and it drove him mad with lust because he wanted to have you reacting to his touch so wantonly every minute of every day. His grip only tightened around you and he prayed you wouldn’t mind the bruises that would surely color your skin in the next few hours. He wasn’t planning on being gentle tonight, perhaps later, but not tonight, and he was going to ensure his touch would be visible for anyone that would speak with you tomorrow. Thoughts of the Marshal passed through his mind’s eye and he growled, pumping his cock into you harshly for some reassurance. You cried out his name over and over again, feeling your skin heat up at the declarations of love he was peppering on your skin because even though his words were gentle, his touches were far from it.
The squelching sounds of your cunt flooding Din’s thighs as he drove himself into you should have embarrassed you but you could tell he enjoyed knowing how wet you were for him from the way he continued to quicken the pace just to hear your juices flowing over him. His grip on you was becoming more painful the more you moved against each other but you couldn’t find it in yourself to let him know. He was letting go, showing you how much he wanted you, how hard he was for you, and you weren’t about to make him feel conscious over his affection.
“Maker...oh Din, Din I- you feel so good inside me. Filling me up like no one else. Could feel you so deep, gods, could feel you everywhere Din please- don’t stop. Don’t fucking stop, I need it. Need you, want you- want you to mark me, d-do whatever you want with me.” You had no hold over your own speech and weren’t sure if you were making any sense but Din moaned each time you praised him.
“Good girl, sweet girl...taking my cock so well, kriffing hell. Your- your pussy is squeezing the fuck out of me..could feel every tight inch of you stroking my cock Cyar’ika. Ah pfassk...you’re- you’re perfection.” Din moved the hand around your back up to your neck, pulling on your hair and pressing his lips with yours as his cock throbbed inside you. You whined as his tongue roughly swirled around your own, barely able to breathe as he continued to snap his hips against you and suddenly feeling a rush of relief as his navel rubbed at your clit until you came around him. Din broke the kiss, screaming expletives in his tongue as the force of your orgasm pushed his cock out of you. You shuddered as you gushed on his dick, wrapping your arms around his neck when he forced his cock into your tight cunt again. 
You were so overcome with emotions, so lost in Din’s scent mixing with your own, and his touch leaving bruises on your skin, that you didn’t notice the faint sounds of footsteps coming up the ramp and halting in the middle of the ship right in front of the door. But Din noticed, managing to look up just in time to see Cobb standing in the middle of the ship and staring with wide eyes at the scene unfolding in front of him. 
Something completely otherworldly took over the Mandalorian and he quickly sat up, expertly moving the two of you around until he was kneeling on the covers with you straddling his thighs. He smiled against your shoulder, allowing your hair to hide his face as he grabbed both of your hips and fucked up into you. 
He could vaguely see the Marshal and was surprised that he hadn't dropped the bottle of drink in his hand just yet. You wailed into the night air, arms keeping you stead in Din’s arms as he forced you on his pulsating dick over and over again. 
“Tell me...tell me Cyare, tell me how much you love it when I fuck you. How much you need my cock like the filthy little cockslut you are. Go on sweet girl, grind that little clit on me. Fucking tell me ner Ad’ika.” Din smacked your ass twice, chuckling when your moans grew more lewd with every touch he laid on you.
“I- I- ahhh love your cock...oh maker, no one fucks me like you. N-no one makes me c-cum like you. Fuck me harder D- ahhh,” Din bit down on your shoulder to prevent you from saying his name, looking through the mess of your hair and watching as his audience remained incapable of moving. 
“I own this pretty little pussy. Pffassk- ride me harder Mesh’la. You’re such a good girl, could feel your cunt drenching my thighs, the smell of you is driving me mad. Fuck- keep that pretty mouth open to me when I’m fucking you, let me hear you scream for me.”
“Please- please...fuck me harder, ruin my pussy. Gods- I..I’m so close please. Tell me you own me, tell me I’m you’re sweet girl. Please- I want to be good for you, want you to cum inside me Din...cum inside me. I need it, need you to fuck me like you own me and mark me, make me yours Mando. Cum in me, please-” 
“Ah fuck you’re my sweet little girl aren’t you? Wanting me to fuck a load in you, cum in you all night long and keep my seed in that tight cunt? That’s it sweetheart, I’m so fucking hard for you. Could feel you clenching around me...be a good girl and cum again ner kar'ta. Fuck, yes yes you feel so good wrapped around my cock Cyare you’re going to make me cum. Spill my seed in that tight, wet pussy, fill you up till you can taste it in your throat. Shit, and- and I’m going to keep fucking you sweet girl, till my cum is sliding down your thighs. My little fucktoy- come on, come on love, cum for me. Cum on me, drench me again. Mix your juices with me.” Din watched as Cobb finally had the mind to leave and he almost laughed at how the man almost tripped on his own foot as he sprinted out of the ship. He pushed you on your back and spread your thighs open, resting his weight on the arms around your head as he thrust in a few more times before he felt you clench around him. Leaning down, Din took a pert nipple in his mouth and sucked on it, growling into your skin as he came deep in your pussy, painting your walls with long strings of his seed until he couldn’t breathe. He’d never cum this hard before and was sure to tell you when you had the state of mind to pay him any semblance of attention.
Din continued to lazily push into you, your words from earlier replaying in his mind as he felt you quiver around his softening cock. You were still coming down from your high and twitched occasionally when you felt him throb inside you. There was a pleasant kind of warmth washing over you and you sighed happily when you realized he was still bucking against you to push his cum in your belly. 
“D-din...you’re filling me up so good. Feel so full ah- gah.” He laughed when your body shook, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you around until you were laying on his chest. You kissed his jaw and his neck, moaning in unison when you felt his dick rub against that sweet spot inside you. 
“That’s because I’ve never cum this hard sweet girl. You’ve milked me dry Cyare. Could feel you sucking my seed out of me.” He was amazed at your obvious embarrassment, wanting to tease you about it but choosing to wait for later instead.
Din rubbed at your back, kissing your forehead as he whispered sweet things in your ears and smiling when you nipped at his neck some more. 
“Promise me you’ll never leave.” Din’s quiet voice broke the silence and you pushed up to look into his eyes as you responded. “I’m not going anywhere, even if you tell me to go. I’ll stay here, always. I promise.” You kissed him gently and felt his pulse beneath your fingers calm at your words. 
Not much time has passed before Din had you on your knees in front of him, fucking your mouth and shoving you down on his cock until you gagged and his seed slipped from the corner of your mouth, mixing with your spit as it fell down your breasts. You lost count of how many times he brought you pleasure, and you made a mental note to ask him how he managed to fuck you all night long. You weren’t sure it was possible for a man to cum this many times over the course of one night but you had a feeling Din was not like anyone else. A man who has been touch starved for almost three decades must have had a lot of pent-up aggression that he needed to release. And you would gladly help him in any shape or form through that. 
And when he wasn’t pumping your cunt full of his cum, he was nuzzling into your neck and laying kisses across your arms, making sure he caressed every inch of your skin. You shouldn’t have been surprised that Din loved to snuggle with you but you did find it hilarious that such a big and scary Mandalorian whimpered when you licked down his neck as you nestled into his arms. You wouldn’t tell him just yet but besides his rough grasps and his filthy words, you loved to taste the saltiness of his skin and from the looks of it, the feelings were mutual because at some point in the night, he’d told you of all the times he had to lock himself up in the refresher and try his hardest to not think of your sweaty limbs entangling with his own as he kissed you.
By the time the two of you made it outside the following day, the twin suns had already been in the middle of the sky, scorching rays of heat on everyone across Mos Pelgo. You tried your hardest not to walk too funny, mostly because it made Din apologize every now and then, but it was difficult when you could still feel traces of his touch on you. You told him you needed him to stop making it obvious but realized he was apologizing out of regret not out of humor. It took you all of the afternoon to convince him that you were feeling more than okay and that you’d asked him for this. And when he didn’t seem to stop, you teased him and told him that you knew he secretly loved watching you wobble from side to side. 
This all, however, peaked when you walked into the cantina and tried to play Sabbac with Cobb Vanth and the others. You could tell that the Marshal was avoiding all conversation with you, going out of his way to pretend you weren’t even sitting on the table, let alone the room. You hoped that Mando hadn’t spoken with him or anything and decided to call it quits earlier in the night. When you did make it back to the ship and saw Din cleaning his weapons, you made sure the ship was secure before moving to sit on the bed across from him.
“Did you talk to Cobb today?” You gauged his reaction, already sensing that something was wrong when you saw him nervously clench his jaw before rubbing furiously at the beskar weapon.
“No, why do you ask?” Din wished he hadn’t already taken off his helmet because as soon as he responded, you knew he wasn’t telling you the whole truth.
“Din?”
He looked up at you and cleared his throat before speaking.
“He- he saw us...last night. I- I must have forgotten to raise the ramp and-” Din took a deep breath when you shot up from the cot and began to pace back and forth. 
“HE WHAT?”
“We were...I couldn’t- there wasn’t a chance I could…you felt too good around me Ad’ika I- I couldn’t stop. Not when you were clenching around me so tightly. Now when you were finally in my arms. I-” He stood up and walked towards you, taking your hands into his and kissing both of your wrists. You flushed at his words and looked up at him, only to find him blushing under your gaze. 
“You did it on purpose didn't you? You wanted him to see...to watch as you- as we...as I said-” Din didn’t let you finish the sentence, leaning down and molding his lips with yours as he walked you back to his bed. He pushed you down on the covers still holding your scents, his hold hardening the more you moaned against him. Before he could strip you of your clothes, you pushed him off and stuck out your finger in warning.
“Oh no you don’t. Go raise the ramp.”
“You’re giving me orders now Mesh’la?” Din raised an eyebrow at you as he got off of you and walked around the bed, halting at the doorstep to look back at you.
“Never…”
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Translations:
Ad'ika - Little one
Mesh'la - Beautiful
Cyar'ika - Darling/Sweetheart
Cyare - Beloved
Ner - my/mine
Pal'vut at kar'taylir darasuum - mine to love
Ni copad gar an te ca'nara - I want you all the time.
Ni vercopa be gar anay ca - I dream of you every night. 
Ner kar'ta - my heart
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charmspoint · 2 years
Note
Please do rant about the misuse of Chuuya if you have the will and time. He used to be my favourite (still is really) but nothing happened with him! It's awful
It's a bsd day isn't, i can sit here and pretend i'm all into jjk now but till the rest of my days ill be ready to foam at the mouth about bsd after i have forgotten who gojo satoru is THATS IMPACT BABY
Anyway: Chuuya Nakahara, what a crime
Context wise, I got into bsd around the time the anime started. I think it was either one of those instances where i watched the first episode and immediately binged the manga or saw the synopsis and binged the manga before watching, one of those two.
Things we knew about Chuuya back then?
Jack
Shit
Dazai's ex (partner)
We had that scene when Dazai gets caught and of course the coveted panel of Dazai and Chuuya as kids, i would post it here but for some reason tumblr decided i get no picture rights but everyone and their dog knows what im talking about.
The thing was Chuuya is so fucking cool. His design? Top notch. His chemistry with Dazai? Top notch. His character even outside that relationship? Top notch.
He had the coolest fucking design and a mysterious relationship with one of fan favorite characters. He was angry and snappy which perfectly bounced off of Dazai's annoying coolness but as soon as he was away from Dazai he tended to show much calmer and kind hearted side. Also he was hot and strong. Instant fan fav.
When i said Kafka's writing problems could be seen even back then i really meant it, even then Chuuya was underutilized. Think about it. Chuuya is a part of soukoku generations. Out of Dazai, Atsushi n Akutagawa, Chuuya was the only one that didn't really get any solo development. He was pretty much something for Dazai to have in his past.
But we still loved him!
That was a wild west for Chuuya fics because the only thing we really knew was that he was Dazai's partner and that Kouyou was his mentor (and ill get to Kouyou). So basically! Anything went! I've read SO MANY fics about guessing at Chuuya's backstory (we can all remember how popular french chuuya was, and also cough cough prostitute chuuya) the fandom was just going wild it was great. I wasn't active as a write back then but one of my fav headcanons was that Chuuya was just some half feral kid Kouyou scooped off the street like 'my son now', there were some really good pieces in all of that.
More love than Kafka ever gave him thats for sure.
Because Chuuya is really really fucking strong. Not like Gojo strong, but he's up there in his own universe you know. So what does that mean? Go to the bus stop young man and sit there. Chuuya basically, god he wasn't a character if he wasn't needed for Dazai stuff. Cannibalisation was Such.A.Waste.
A little of topic but here's what i would have done with cannibalisation: so we took the guild arc to (allegedly tho honestly even this is wonky in canon) build relationships within ada and pm right? Come cannibalisation and ooop they are at each each others throats again but why? It feels like throwing a whole arc in the water. Instead of just sic'ing them at each other again wouldnt it have been more rewarding to like??? keep building??? on those reletionships??? like ada n pm being reluctant to go in another all out war with connections they made during the vs guild war??? Soukoku and shin soukoku should have lead that front! Instead we just kinda resolve to everyone fighting each other
AND CHUUYA GETS BENCHED LIKE NO OTHER
THE BOOK
THE FUCKING BOOK
UGH
Im still so angry. Remember when it happened and we were all like :D!!! WOW COOL!!! AN ULTIMATE BRAIN VS BRAWN SHOWDOWN THIS WILL BE SO AWESOME and then slowly we started to realize that...chuuya and ranpo werent coming back. It was such a fun idea everyone was excited for but it wasnt going to happen. Kafka wasnt transporting them to a new and interesting battle arena, he was escorting them out of the court because he didnt want to worry about them at the moment.
Ranpo comes out
Chuuya doesnt
and for the longest damn time it just feels like kafka completely forgot about him. No sign, no word, chapters pass.
He had one cool apperance which was admittedly really badass and disappears again woops hes a vampire now
i wasnt keeping up with bsd anymore at the vampire point but lemme tell you god i about lost it
HES A VAMPIRE NOW
HES A VAMPIRE NOW
IS HE DEAD WONT SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF THAT MEANS HES DEAD????
KAFKA REALLY TOOK AWAY ONE OF THE FAN FAVORITE CHARACTERS, ONE OF THE MOST PROMISING CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW AND JUST FUCKIN TURNED HIM INTO A FYODOR HANDGUN IM LOSING MY MIND
Chuuya backstories
I was excited about Chuuya backstories i was. There were so many cool theories in the fandom i think everyone was eager to find out the canon truth.
He has a god inside of him.
He has a god inside of him.
Why?
Kafka, buddy, pal. Here's an advice from me to you. IF YOU ARE GOING TO PUT SOMETHING AS BIG AS A GOD IN YOUR STORY YOU SHOULD ESTABLISH THAT THOSE EXIST IN YOUR UNIVERSE BEFOREHAND
NOW
Now
I don't think most of the fandom disliked this take as much as i did though at that point i was pretty distant from most of the fandom cuz i really disliked what it became at the time (lets not get into THAT) BUT i blew my fuse on that
There are supernatural elements in bsd in terms of abilities right. Those seem p limited and grounded in their own way, perfectly applicable to the story. The only thing whack is lovecrafts ability but its LOVECRAFT of course hes allowed and even encouraged to be something freaky.
THAT ISNT ENOUGH TO ESTABLISH ACTUAL GODS ACTUALLY EXIST LIKE LOVECRAFT CAME OFF AS A GAG I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST THAT ONE CHARACTER CREATIVE TWIST A LIL MYSTERY IN THE WORLD BUT NO WE ARE STICKING WITH THIS WITH CHUUYA OF ALL PEOPLE HUH OKAY?
But you know what you know what i dont even care thats fine, i can live with jesus christ superstar chuuya thats fine
But then
Mother fucking Rimbaud.
Hey kafka? Why dont you just say you hate writing women huh?
So here's the thing right, heres the thing.
fifteen was about chuuya getting initiated into pm right? Remember how the only thing we knew about that is that dazai was his partner and kouyou was his mentor right? It would be natural to assume those two played a major role in that section then right?
Well Dazai at least gets to :D
KOUYOU GOT SO ROBBED
Like
MY GOD SHES HIS MENTOR
And here is where it really starts showing up for Chuuya, Kafkas tendency to, instead of exploring relationships with present characters, he just throws in new ones. We don't get to explore the relationship between Kouyou and Chuuya. Instead we get some dude literally mostly referred to as Rando-san and HE ends up being the person most responsible (aside from dazai) for getting chuuya into pm and HES the one who chuuya got his hat from which you know implies he was his mentor cuz of the handing of clothes thing and then to top it all off we get that stupid ass scene where chuuya is sitting on his grave talking to him
Kafka
buddy
I get it, i know. Dazai and Oda connection was really good, people adored that. BUT YOU CANT JUST COPY PASTE IT ON ANOTHER CHARACTER AND HOPE FOR THE SAME RESULTS YOU FUCKING HACK
At this point i dont care about bsd anymore. I stopped reading, i listen my friend talk about it but thats p much it
Stormbringer
I havent read stormbringer. I'm not going to read stormbringer. What i know about it is what can be read on the wiki and what i saw passing through my dash.
And im tired.
There is so much Chuuya backstory 2.0 could cover. His reletionship with Kouyou. Akutagawa. Black Lizard. Fuck Ive always wondered since Kouyou also mentored Kyouka did Kyouka have any sort of relationship with Chuuya.
Instead what do we get.
Another
Fucking
Group
Another fucking little group that was never ever mentioned before and that will never ever be mentioned again. Instead of exploring Chuuya's relationship with characters we know and care about, we get handed another batch of fresh out of the oven characters and we get told 'these are chuuyas friends! care about them!' NO??? I DONT???
Like would be SO hyped to explore chuuya in interaction with any of the other characters. I wrote two platonic soukoku stories, another one for Kyouyou and Aku were in plan i want this, i would read this, i would be interested in this.
But what i dont care about is seeing Chuuya bounce off of another random ass set of characters (+Dazai) who dont matter jack shit in the grand scale of things.
I'm just done! I care about Chuuya so much and i want him to be explored and well written but...god i just cant, i cant do it anymore i cant stand this vacuum worldbuilding. Chuuya doesnt seem like he has a relationship with anyone in pm aside from Dazai even tho he seems well beloved and instead of exploring those barren relationships we just get handed p much meaningless ones. That's just not how you build a character rooted firmly in your story. That's how you use a character so you have an excuse of introducing like seven more new ocs you couldnt fit anywhere else. It's exhausting. I don't know maybe stormbringer isnt like that but literally every summary i read about it sounds like that and im not about to go suffer Kafka to confirm the opposite, i'll just hole myself up with Izanyas versions of events thank you very much
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sneakydraws · 4 years
Text
Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)
And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao
0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe
Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 
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blarfkey · 3 years
Text
Writing Tag Game
I've been tagged by like ten people for this so thank you everyone who tagged me! @redinkofshame, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold, @kunstpause Consider yourself tagged if you see it and like it.
How many works do you have on Ao3?
38!
What's your total Ao3 wordcount?
702,253. I would love for it to be more but I am a slow writer lol
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Woodstock 83 --3480 Kudos
Xmen fic set after Apocalypse where Peter keeps getting these golden opportunities to tell Magneto/Erik that he's his son, and keeps chickening out at the last minute.
I know I wasn't the only one who walked out of that movie theater pissed that Peter came so close to admitting this secret since the previous movie and never did, so I wrote a fix it.
2. The Sun Will Shine When Morning Comes -- 2567 Kudos
The sequel to Woodstock 83, told in Magneto's POV where he's coming to terms with being a father while he cares for his sick son. This is probably my fav X-Men fic I've ever written because I loved having these two figure out what their father/son relationship would be like long after Peter has grown up and how Erik has wanted a child again but doesn't know how to process having one.
3. Jail Break -- 2488 kudos
The first Peter & Magneto fic I ever wrote and the first fic I ever published! This takes place post Days of Future Past and it shows how Magneto could have found out that Peter was his son and build that reluctant connection. Peter has a lot of freaking out about whether or not he wants to accept a supervillain as his father.
4. Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right -- 2396 Kudos
The third part of the series Jail Break Started. For some reason this is the most popular one shot in the series. In it, Peter has a huge fight with Magneto and then gets kidnapped by The Bad Guys and doesn't think his dad will come bail him out. But of course he does! And murders everyone in the compound to do it.
5. Two Lonely Souls in a Fish Bowl -- 2361 Kudos
The direct sequel to Jail Break where Magneto keeps showing up in the dead of night to visit Peter as they both figure out how they want this weird parent relationship to be.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always! Even if it takes me a while. I love the interaction and I want people to feel noticed and appreciated.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Um, i don't really like angst. I think it would be Spark Me Up for Xmen. Professor X/Magneto angst with my first ever written smut. It was a remix of another person's fic for an exchange and they had an angsty ending so I kept it.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
The last installment in the Jail Break/Come Together Series -- Shine On You Crazy Diamond. In it, Peter's little sister Wanda comes into her powers and they go through a lot of pain before she settles into them. It ends with Peter's mom coming to stay with them and her, Peter, Wanda, Erik, and Charles becoming one big family. I've had several people tell me it made them cry lol.
Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
I'll write something like a set of characters from one fandom in the set up/premise of another fandom/piece of media. Like Dear Fen'harel is a crossover of Dragon Age with an old book called Dear Daddy Long Legs. But I don't combine different universes of different fandoms, it's too weird for me and I can't buy into it.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
took over and finished. We have an AU in our plans but so many other fics keep getting in the way! Sort of? I wrote the first part of a Solas/Maria/Varric series that@cartadwarfwithaheartofgold
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I did receive a weird, angry message on one of my Xmen fics because they didn't like a fight that had happened between two characters but didn't read till the end to see it resolved so the bitched at me for the fact that the fight was mean? Which made no sense. But other than that, nope.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes! Though it's not as much as my non-smut. I didn't write smut for so many years because I didn't think I knew how. I tried to write some out a few years ago and kept it to myself until one of my tumblr friends read it and said it was really good! So shout out to @salexectria, you're the reason why I write and publish smut!
I write all kinds of smut, from dub con to vanilla, from f/f, m/m, and ace spectrum characters. Its all about the characters and what would fit them/the situation more than it is about a specific type of sex.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
If I have, I don't know about it.
What's your all time favourite ship?
Ummmmmm, that's hard. I don't think I have an all time favorite. I will say that Charles/Erik (Professor X/Magneto) was my first ever "otp" that I got completely obsessed with. Actually, I have never been that obsessed with another pairing. I write pairings that I enjoy or that I want to see a certain dynamic from, but that doesn't make them my favorite above all others.
I do really love Solas/Cadash and I prefer Solas rare pairs like Solas/Dorian, Solas/Cassandra, and Solas/Josephine over Solavellan.
What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
I will never not finish a WIP. I hate it when it happens, even though I know IRL gets in the way, but it's so frustrating for me as a reader. So I will finish all my fics. However, I am very slow and very busy so it may take a while.
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue and character voice. I also am really good at developing friendships and platonic bonds or the slow burn get-to-know-you part of a romance. Apparently I write good smut, though its very hard for me lol.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Descriptions and transitions and pacing.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
The only thing that bothers me is if they never put in a translations somewhere and you have to just kind of guess. I don't care about reading something in another language and having a footnote or a note at the end of the chapter. I do it all the time in DF. I do think that putting "said in {insert language here}" is a bit of a cop out.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
The first ever fandom I wrote for and never published was Harry Potter at 13. I wrote a story about a muggle neighbor who had to emergency babysit the baby Weasleys and was shocked by the magic. But I tried to submit it to a website that only published fic by application and it didn't get in and I was like "whatever, I'll just read fic" and then didn't touch fanfic again until I was . . .24 or 25 lol. I mostly focused on my original fiction.
What's your favourite fic you've written?
I can't possibly have one favorite. I do really love my Peter fics, especially The Sun Will Shine When Morning Comes. I love my ACO fic with Apollo!Alkibiades. I love my Solas/Cassandra friendship fic Time Does Not Bring Relief. And I love Dear Fen'harel, of course, because it has so many things I wanted to change for Solavellan or didn't find, as well as a good analysis of myself and how I deal with anger and sorrow and homesickness, ect. through Ellana.
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danhoemei · 3 years
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hi! hope you’re doing well! thank you for sharing amazing art and for supporting creators the way you do! if you don’t mind me asking, I was wondering who’s your favorite character in shl 🧐 I’m very curious!
hello! I am doing well and I hope you do as well 💚 and akjvbelfknbejkbv thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate 💚💚💚🥺 I’m happy you enjoy 😊
I’ve been very busy these past few days, which is also why I’m much less active, and this ask has been sitting in my inbox, so sorry about that! But if I knew who’s my favourite I could answer simply and quickly, right? Welllll, such a simple question and it made the gears in my mind spin so much, somehow I had never thought of who was my favourite before. And you know what? I just had no clue.
Then it hit me how it resonated with my recent thoughts on art in general... which I put on another post because I started writing here and it just got so big and off topic xddd But in short, my problem was that you can like characters for so many diverse reasons that it’s sometimes truly hard to compare and make a ranking.
Firstly, a disclaimer, that I *cough* still haven’t watched the drama *cough* (I’m really gonna watch it I swear I’m just not good at watching stuff alone and I’m still dwelling on my novel impression which I use in my writing skjdnvkjbfvker I can’t let go help). I’m very curious about some characters which were given a whole new life in the drama or were non existent in the novel, especially all the incredible ladies or scorpion king. But for now I have to answer for the novel xd
So I had a problem because I love so many characters. Wen Kexing is literally one of my fav tropes for love interests. Smart and witty, sneaky and with much power hidden underneath, literally unhinged, but at the same time can goof around and loves to tease their love interest, starving for affection and ready to give a lot of it themselves, and after they obtain it they get possessive and ready to do hella lot to keep it. I have a lot of fun with such characters and I'm a simp for them, so wen kexing just hit so many sweet spots.
Ye baiyi started off as just a comic relief for me, but he kept growing in my eyes until he climbed up so high. I love his bluntness and how done he is with everything, so free and uncaring. Which kind of stems from his painful backstory, but also shows how strong mentally he is that he managed to bear so much and keep on living like he did. I respect him tremendously, as well as lowkey relate to being done and not caring for some things (which I previously was very anxious about but now could not care less).
Gu xiang and cao weining didn't leave the best impressions at first, but they bloomed in my eyes and I care for them so deeply now 🥺 
I don't know much about jing beiyuan and wu xi because qi ye is also still on my ‘to read’ list, but even just these few bits in tyk made me already very interested and warmed up for these two.
But after all the scattered thinking in these past days, I somehow finally circled back to zhou zishu. And I understood that as much as I love all these characters for so many different reasons, I think zzs wins in one pretty personal to me aspect - how I relate to a certain trait of his, and that every time a character like that appears I go feral for them. It was like that for liu qingge, for jiang cheng, even for shen jiu. It's the characters that have troubles putting their emotions and desires into words and actions, but at the same time they have much affection and care inside.
I like zzs for many things. His reluctant care for chengling and even more reluctant opening up to wkx make me all soft, I enjoy (and feel personally) his carefree attitude and bluntness, I respect his quick thinking, skills, and witty remarks. But what makes me care very deeply for characters like him is how they just can’t seem to easily and openly show their feelings or care. They often snap, brush off, or hide whenever it spills, as if they can’t handle it, don’t know how to react, or because it destroys the image they try to uphold. But you can still see signs of it in their actions, when they help someone, make something for them, heal them, give them tips, rescue them if they’re in trouble. Or show their vulnerability in a moment of weakness, in the presence of someone they trust. Goddamn I go feral for that. Also I have much satisfaction when that image or defenses get brought down ajkfnklsdgnvl
And it all stems from the fact that, as much as it may sound ridiculous with all my openness and excitement that you see here, I have terrible troubles in this area as well xdd I am a good actor and observer who knows what to avoid, so if I don’t want someone to know something, they won’t. And I am painfully awkward and absolutely an idiot when it comes to anything romantic or intimate. So combining these two aspects ends up with me suffering in silence and living delusions in my head, while the other person I have feelings for is absolutely oblivious or even thinks that I don’t like them because of all my freezing and changing the subject whenever it gets in any way intimate or emotional xd I am an epitome of awkwardness and avoidance in this, constantly running away when I can’t handle feelings or don’t know how to react xd
So yeah, such characters resonate with me a lot and I self-project on zzs a lot in my writing. Now u know my secret lmao
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eclecticwordblender · 4 years
Text
Since @askhindumyths had us constrain our inputs, here’s my take on the Mahabharata High school AU. Sorry I’m too late to the party.
No character is related to another unless stated otherwise.
This post is gonna be a series. If you go through all of it, I love you already xoxo.
First things first: I welcome you to the world of Hastin High, the finest school in the country.
Foundation:
Shantanu:
The founding father. He made the school what it is today.
After he divorced his first wife, Ganga, he had a new found flame in his eyes. Ganga took full custody of their son, Bheeshma.
Shantanu gets all geared up, he wants to be a business tycoon while also equally wanting to shape lives too.
The school becomes the best of it’s kind soon, education and ECAs accessible to all.
Satyavati:
The first headmistress.
Timeless beauty and an unmatched charmed.
Students crushing on her since day one.
Is the young-ish English teacher that can steal your heart with her sparkling smile.
The principal is her fan too.
Introduces new rules for the better but they somehow get messed up.
Senior year students always search for excuses to go talk to her and spend time with her, oblivious to her love affair with their principal.
Obviously so many hearts broke when their marriage was announced.
History:
Years down the lane both Shantanu and Satyavati decide to retire.
Satyavati demands her kid be the next owner.
Shantanu who wanted Bheeshma to take over eventually has to give in. Bheeshma says he’ll be the principal, let his step brother be the owner.
The owner dies of lung cancer real soon, a chainsmoker. AND BHEESHMA TAKES OVER.
Present day staff:
Bheeshma:
He’s old, like REALLY old.
The year he was born in is taught about in History.
Why does the bygone generation’s boomer have to be the principal!?
Everyone is so sick of his reluctance to embrace change.
Can be very biased and annoying, is intelligent, an absolute genius tbh, yet doesn’t seem to use his own braincells.
“WHY AM I BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!?”
Vidur:
The school counsellor.
He’s too wise for this place. Face palming, ALWAYS.
Perpetually sick of everything.
Will opt out if he smells danger.
Very approachable but also extremely diplomatic.
Is your friend, but is he, really?
“Everyone is so stupid!”
Dhritrashtra:
“I’m the owner of this place bow down y’all.”
Won’t listen to a single good advice.
Again, EXTREMELY BIASED, absolutely antagonist views as compared to Bheeshma.
Is so impossibly problematic and stubborn makes you wanna kick him out.
Nepotism level- OMG.
Extremely biased towards his son.
A rumour says that he once cancelled school for a week only because his son was sick during basketball matches. His son isn’t even that good tbh.
Kunti:
Teaches Geography.
Looks so cute you could fall in love with just the sight of her huge gorgeous eyes.
Seems to be a sweetheart, can be a total b*tch though.
Claims to be absolutely impartial but tends overly favour this one kid in class.
Is also EXTREMELY possessive and protective of him.
It is rumoured that she had quite a beef with a girl student once because she had a fiasco with her very dear student.
Some say that the school’s PTI never misses a chance to flirt with her.
“Who wants the opportunity to carry my stuff to my staff room table today xoxo?”
Gandhari:
Can’t seem to control the class.
Is too sweet. To a point where it’s faulty.
Doesn’t teach very well, however, gives the best moral lectures in the staff room.
Has suspiciously beautiful hair, TO EVERYONE’S ENVY.
Always ends up sending the wrong kids for the right causes to the principal’s office.
Shakuni:
The best maths teacher there could ever be.
Unbelievably high IQ.
Shares Vidur’s diplomatic skills, but better.
Extremely partial, doesn’t even try to hide it.
Can control kids nobody else in school can.
Has very amazing manipulation skills.
Has a v weird enimity with this one kid, Krishna. Everyone in school loves a Shakuni-Krishna verbal face off.
Enters class on the first day: “We are already way behind with the syllabus.”
Still manages to finish the course before anyone else!?
Dronacharya:
Soccer coach.
Nepotism skills, second only to Dhritrashtra’s.
Discriminates amongst his team A LOT.
Thinks too high of himself.
Has a MAJOR feud with the basketball coach.
“This kid has potential to do better than my fav, imma try to sabotage this guy’s entire career.”
Drupad:
Basketball coach.
Very arrogant lesser than Drona anyway.
Doesn’t like people.
Has a weird obsession with his basketball and whistle.
Extremely progressive mindset.
“I don’t like people. But I can tolerate you. Can’t think of a better compliment to give.”
Balram:
Is the youngest teacher in school. Joined recently.
Teenage heartthrob.
Tries to act all strict but is a total softie.
Already done with kids.
“Okay!! Which one of you bratty kids pulled this prank on me today!?”
Secretly enjoys being pranked by his students.
Is looked up to as an elder brother figure.
Kripacharya:
There isn’t much to say about him, THE MAN LITERALLY MINDS HIS OWN BUSINESS.
Won’t say a word until asked to.
Pandu:
Is only relevant because Bheeshma likes him.
We don’t even know why he’s there in school.
Obviously he takes his classes. That’s all he does in limelight though.
Dodges classes even more than the students who frequently bunk. Can be found in school’s garden. Aimlessly enjoying nature.
“I don’t feel like teaching today.”
Madri:
For validation purposes is the gossip queen (not in a bad way though).
Otherwise, Is just there.
Vyasa:
Doesn’t like limelight.
But honestly, does a lot of important work around the campus.
Is responsible for the school magazine. Marvellous writer, NO CAP.
No one knows him well enough. Yet he is the most respected person here.
Pashuram:
Cricket coach.
OG sportsman in the campus.
Even older than Bheeshma.
The man has been there since Shantanu!?!?
Practically built the school with Shantanu.
However, is absolutely irritated by how the institution functions now.
“I’ve had enough. Can I retire PLEASE!?”
Can’t get himself to quit his job though.
Shiva:
Just comes and goes.
Guest teacher.
Has a great influence over most people.
Literally just comes and goes.
Ambika:
Physics teacher.
Not very interested in the staff room gossip or gossip in general.
Cannot live without her bestf.
Ambalika:
Chemistry teacher
Ambika’s bestf.
Introvert. But can talk for HOURS to her her bestie.
Does the bare minimum.
Amba:
Hates stereotypes attached to teachers or students or anyone at all.
Too much rage in her.
Rumoured to have a thing for Bheeshma- the “Thing” remains ambiguously unknown.
Is a true feminist. For this reason, two of the students- Panchaali and Satyabhama, admire her way too much.
Sees herself in this student- Sikhandi/Sikhandini.
“If you wait for a man’s help, you will keep waiting forever” - how she begins EVERY class.
(Imma tag people in the fandom coz no one’s gonna read so much otherwise and I need attention to matter in life :/)
@bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @soniaoutloud @lemponkoira @1nsaankahanhai-bkr @chaanv @hoeticulture @supermeh-krishnafan
Since I’m being an attention wh*re: @incorrectmahabharatquotes
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wexhappyxfew · 3 years
Note
Hey Shannon❤️ can you tell us something about Natia and Winters relationship? And also, how do you pick quotes for each chapter?
FRANCY!!! hello my friend! how are you doing? :D thanks for stopping on by, i've really been excited to answer this one especially because i get to focus in on Natia and Winters connection more than anything! it is one of the most highly important of the fic i feel, in many various respects and i'm super hype to discuss them! and the QUOTES!! oh i have a full little process i go through with that too hehe! let's jump into it! <3
Natia Filipska and Richard Winters in LANDSLIDE
From the start of writing Landslide, I really wanted to make Natia and Winters' connection one that showed how two, different leaders and leadership styles could still work together and in their own ways as well. In the beginning, we see Natia already take a dislike to Winters, but she has reason.
I feel that's something I enjoy most about writing Natia as well by the way?!?! She will always have a valid and detailed reasoning behind why she does certain things.
But the way I see it with Natia and Winters in their first meeting in Holland is very much their characters and their morals put on center stage. Natia has worked alone for a majority of the war, she's had to look out for really only herself and she's seen and gotten quite a lot of trauma just from various events in the war in general and so when team work is included, she's more reluctant to such a thing - this comes from both her training as well as what the war has forced her to do. But when things meet up in the end, she ends up being a pretty well off team leader.
Winters on the other hand is that sort of 'all-American-leader", who knows his men, knows how to work his men as a team and lead them, he's firm, he doesn't take any crap from people and most importantly, he makes sure no man is left behind. There's already a division there in general between how Natia leads and how Winters leads as well as level of experience in war. And with these differing opinions, that sort of sets them off even more.
Something I didn't want to do was make them *enemies* really because Natia already has a LOAD of enemies that she really is already dealing with and making Winters an enemy was never a goal. More of a challenge or a power with which she can put up a bit of a fight against. It makes for quite an interesting dynamic as the two start to slowly trust one another and learn how to then initially work together as well.
My initial goal was to show obviously there was a strong opposing difference and force when the two shared a scene together. FOR EXAMPLE,,,
" The Germans have merely retreated, they have not left Holland open to be taken by the Allies. I've fought enough of this war to know that. And I'm just trying to help where I can to save more of your men than get them killed," she said, taking in a tiny breath as she stood, beginning to sweat under the tense gazes of the American men who watched her. Natia had stood in this position before, she'd collected too many flowers that day for graves that shouldn't have even needed to be dug. It had been a slaughter, she hoped this wouldn't be the same for what it was worth.
" We're under British Command, Agent Fidel, I'm afraid we'll have to follow through. They wouldn't lead us astray though, I'm sure we'll be fine." Colonel Sink said to her, before nodding and going back to his initial discussion with the higher ranking members of Headquarters. Natia's gaze narrowed slightly.
" Agent Fidel." Captain Winters said, his voice dangerously low. Natia let out a huff and then moved over towards him, muttering to herself out of annoyance.
" It's walking into a trap." she said once she had moved over to Captain Winters, where the Map-Keepers presence lingered, " The enemy just doesn’t leave a country like Holland wide open next to the English Channel, letting it crawl with-"
" Agent Fidel." Captain Winters said again and Natia's eyes darted up to his, her mouth slowly clamping shut in the process, as her darkened gaze watched over his own.
" Might I remind you that here, you are not Colonel Sink or the British Command or the CO. I'm sorry to have to put you in your place and remind you of the your position. You are an assigned radio operator." Captain Winters told her.
This is a portion of Chapter 21 (Death’s Faith) and in this specific scene, we see this obvious tension throughout. Natia is someone who has been in war since 1939 while Captain Winters on the other hand first got his taste of war in 1944. Now, something I did not want to do is degrade completely Richard Winters and how he handled war because he held himself to his morals and his character throughout and I wanted to take that and insert that into the fic in a way that was my own.
Something important that I worked with here was that though he is firm, he still isn’t the point of going *over* who he is as a human and his personality. And I really tried to hit that fine line in the fic more than anything. Making Natia sort of go silent though in the face of Winters though I felt was an interesting touch that I only vaguely remember doing and I feel it is sort of a connection to Natia’s past with Agent Mortem and how this higher power silenced her previously and how Winters is a presentation of that in her eyes for the first portion of the fic.
But as the story progresses, we see Natia slowly breaking away from that idea and slowly start to form respect for Winters out of their long line of misfortunate circumstances they hold together. And sort of a realization that there were bigger issues than their own personal feuds and differences in a way compared to the war.
And I’m still really moving through the progression of that connection in the fic, but by the end, I have a feeling people will be really satisfied with the outcome of two leaders finally entirely seeing eye to eye by the end. Definitely one of my favorite connections throughout the book — and one of my personal favs is when we see Winters defend Natia against Lieutenant Dike HAHA! A major point for their friendship I will say!!
The way I see it is Natia, the lone wolf, and Winters, the alpha, who slowly incorporates her into the pack after a bit of defense and defiance. It’s a really interesting connection that flows throughout the fic and I’ve been really enjoying it! :)
CHAPTER QUOTES
Chapter quotes I feel I have always done since I uploaded even my first fic which was Sunshine Soldier! I guess I’ve just always enjoyed that a lot, it gives a bit of perspective on the upcoming chapter that the readers are about to read!
I use Pinterest, Goodreads or just general sort of searched up themes on Google for quotes. And usually each quote is centered around a central theme ie darkness, grief; sadness, joy, etc..... and then I can go from there and get even more specific on chapter sort of tones and subplot themes.
For example, in Chapter 6 (The Curse of Silence) this is the opening quote, “Silence is the biggest gift and the worst curse.”. Agent Mortem played a huge factor in Natia being silenced for the first portion of the war and by the end, released from his reign, she’s allowed a voice that is uncontrolled and gets her in various amounts of trouble along with it. Yet silence did allow for Natia to dissect and understand Mortem enough to corrupt him and essentially “escape” him, though inherently get her into trouble in other instances. (which is a topic for a later discussion!)
But that’s sort of the general idea I go with every time I put up a chapter! :D Thank you so much for the ask Francy, this was so much fun to answer!! <333 I always enjoy these sorts of things where I can go in and give my own best, personal analysis on stuff in fic! 💛
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Mouse’s Reclist (#2/?)
It’s time for a second reclist! Here’s the first, if you want. This is again in no particular order. Title, author, pairing, and fandom will be listed, as well as if it’s a WIP.
The first few are going to be Snarry, because my reading list recently has basically consisted of entirely Snarry. Why? Because I fucking love Snarry. Sue me.
Angels on the Moon by Writcraft - Harry Potter/Snarry  - The aftermath of the war is almost as difficult as the war itself, Harry is a mess and Severus is a reluctant survivor forced back to Hogwarts to recuperate from his injuries. When a brick-bonding spell goes awry, Harry and Severus are forced to confront hatred, misunderstandings and a new and unexpected intimacy which takes them both by surprise. Notes: This is the classic-style Eighth Year!Fic, which has long been my favourite trope in the HP fandom. It’s an especially loved trope of mine when it comes to Snarry, too, as I am problematic filth, and teacher-student relationships are my jam. It’s also a classic bonding!fic. But the way it handles the tropes is just… *chef’s kiss*
The Man Underneath by maraudersaffair - Harry Potter/Snarry - Severus is a secret Auror and must always be disguised. When Harry Potter becomes his new partner, Severus struggles hiding his true identity and burning attraction. Notes: This is more bottom!Snape than top!Snape, which I know isn’t to everyone’s taste. However, it’s fucking fantastic, and as someone who has a cathartic and self-fulfilling love of “char A is ugly and has a shittonne of self-hatred and yet manages to score super hot char B” (something that I struggle with myself and still worry how I manage to keep my own gorgeous partner over), this is perfect. Not that I even agree with J.K.’s assessment on Sev’s ugliness. I like the “goth filled with churning angst” look. 
a forest, dark and deep by bleedcolor - Harry Potter/Snarry - Once, many years ago (for that is when all great stories begin, many years ago; we never consider we might be in the midst of our own great story) there lived a boy. But wait, you might say, there is nothing special about a boy living, many people do and never amount to much of anything. You would be right, but you would also be wrong, because this story is not about a boy who lived, but The Boy Who Lived, and that is all the difference. Notes: Harry is cursed and must go on an adventure to the Fountain of Youth to find the cure. I cried. I cried a lot. I cried a lot a lot a lot a lot. Happy ending, though! Fairy tale fic. One of the best fics to read if you want magic in the HP universe portrayed more like magic in ancient medieval history tends to be portrayed: mysterious, Eldritch, Occult-like power that requires strange and sometimes dangerous rituals to harness.
you like making me work for it by bottlefamebrewglory - Harry Potter/Snarry - “Before what, Mr. Potter?”//Before Snape had looked at him, drunk and miserable without knowing why, and told him that he could change his future if he wanted. Before he had pulled Snape out of the darkness he’d been determined to drown in. Before the memories. Before he’d looked into Snape’s eyes and watched him die.//Harry didn’t often change his mind, not about people. He’d been accused by Hermione more than once of being stubborn, even prejudiced. And, once upon a time, he’d thought he’d known exactly who Severus Snape was. But that had changed and Harry was no longer that boy anymore, just as Snape could no longer ever be just his hated professor.//“Before,” Harry said again, more finally.//Harry was pretty sure the fact that everyone never thought he’d live past seventeen was at least half the reason becoming an actual adult was so goddamn strange. Severus just wanted to get on with his life now that it was free of controlling old men.//Or, five times Harry flirted with Snape and one time Snape flirted with Harry. Notes: @snapedefender‘s most recent masterpiece. Post-War!fic, one of the best of. Harry worms his way into Severus’ life, as he always does. Also he has a big crush. Their interactions are golden. Everything about this is golden, in fact. It’s just delightful. Read it, please.
How the War Was Won by avioleta - Harry Potter/Snarry - Severus Snape should be dead. Instead, he wakes up after the Battle of Hogwarts to find himself quarantined in a house full of Gryffindors, waiting for Harry bloody Potter to save the world…again. And Severus must be going crazy because he can’t seem to stop thinking about Potter. (Or, where Harry needs a distraction, and Severus doesn’t refuse.) Notes: War Doesn’t End with The Battle of Hogwarts!fic. And it’s by avioleta, a longtime and well-loved Snarry writer. Well-loved for good reason! They know what they’re doing, and it shows. I’ve long loved “Harry and any number of Slytherins are holed up together and must get along” as a trope, and this nails it perfectly. Another fav was in my previous reclist, Hauntingly by ObsidianPen, where Harry is holed up with Draco, Sev, AND Tom! Fun times!
Chasing Ghosts by DictionaryWrites - Harry Potter/Snarry/WIP - “I guess I’m not ready to join the land of the living just yet,” Harry says. “Need a little more time here at Hogwarts, with all the ghosts. You know what I mean?”//In the aftermath of the war, Harry doesn't feel ready to leave the safety of the castle, and to go out into the world at large: he wants to stay. The Room of Requirement - with great reluctance - grants his wish. Notes: Adult!Harry wakes up in the Marauders Era and becomes a teacher, all while he tries to figure out the nature of spacetime. TIME TRAVEL!FIC! That’s in all caps because I love and adore time travel!fic with all my heart. Again, more of a bottom!Snape story. I used to think I preferred top!Snape, but bottom!Snape has come into my heart with a passion as of late and showed me I’m not always going to want Snape to nail Harry into his mattress. This also shows more of Snape’s backstory, with mentor!Lucius and all, which is a fav of mine as well.
OKAY! Enough Snarry, yes, sorry. Moving on!
Love Potion #9 by murderlight - Bleach/GrimmIchi - Gifted with a horrifying box of potion-laced chocolates from Urahara in the hopes he might feed them to somebody, Ichigo thought all the excitement for Valentine’s Day was done with. Then Grimmjow had to get snacky.//A story in which Ichigo is entrusted with the scientifically altered affections of his once-enemy, and might just discover some of his own. Notes: I love the goddamn love potion/love spell trope. This one highlights the dubcon nature of making someone fall in love with you (even on accident) a lot more, but still makes everyone’s feelings feel genuine and real. And of course it ends happily. And there’s no noncon, if that’s not to your taste. Ichigo is a good boy and does not stroke that pussy until that pussy is entirely free from Kisuke’s experimental serums. Yes, I made that pun.
The Edinburgh Problem by snorklepie - Sherlock/Johnlock - “A nice holiday, just a bit more...murdery. ” John said drily.//“Yes! The best kind of holiday!” Sherlock beamed. “So we won’t get bored!”//After he separates from Mary, John returns to Baker Street. Following a request for help from Sherlock's cousin Violet, the detective and his blogger take a trip to Edinburgh. John discovers more about the Holmes family and Sherlock than he bargained for, but tries not to run screaming. Notes: I fell in love with Violet immediately. I am so gay. If you are also attracted to women, you will probably join me in falling in love with Violet. She is amazing, and very Holmes. But a more balanced Holmes. Well, as balanced as a Holmes can be. I love case fic, I love Sherlock Holmes in general because of my adoration for murder mystery (yes, I am a forensics major, thank you for being able to clock me very obviously), and I love deep backstory and family bonding. It’s a long, long ride, but it is undoubtedly worth every single minute.
The Loss of Flesh and Soul by deuxexmycroft - Sherlock/Johnlock/Abandoned WIP - Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself.//Crossover with Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs Notes: It’s Hannigram but Johnlock, what’s not to love? Sherlock’s characterisation in the TV show is already unsettling enough (well, in the beginning, but I like to pretend Sherlock doesn’t exist past S2), so adding in a little Hannibal Lecter is fantastic. Yes, it’s an abandoned WIP. Yes, that hurts like hell. But it’s so, so worth it anyway. Seriously, this is one of the best executions of serial killer!Sherlock I’ve seen in fandom, and given how fucking gigantic the Sherlock fandom is, hopefully you can see how big of a thumbs up that is imho!
Sinking the Land by emungere - Sherlock/Mystrade - Three weeks ago, Mycroft Holmes picked Lestrade up outside New Scotland Yard and made him an offer he'd been unable to refuse, despite his best judgement. Mycroft had sucked his cock, dropped him off at home, and Lestrade hadn't heard a word from him since.//Now, the door of the black car swung open as Lestrade drew level with it. He could just see Mycroft's profile, hawkish nose and shallow chin limned by the orange glow of the streetlight. Notes: Porn WITH plot! That’s the best way to take your porn, imho. One of the best ways I’ve seen the Mystrade relationship developed. It’s just so real. And Lestrade is so head-over-heels, which is my favourite way to take my Lestrade :p.
Clark Kent, of Krypton by TerresDeBrume - DCEU/Superbat - Batman crashes on Krypton a few days before the Turn of the Year celebrations, and Kal-El's life takes a sharp turn to the left, on a path that will, ultimately, lead him to becoming Clark Kent. Notes: Krypton Wasn’t Destroyed!fic is always, always, always my favourite. Sci-fi mystery again, yes. If you saw my first reclist, then you understand that I am always going to fall for a sci-fi mystery fic. This one develops Kryptonian culture beautifully, and equally-as-perfectly encapsulates what “Clark Kent Pretending to Be a Mild-Mannered Reporter, but on Krypton” would actually look like.
Q It Again by writerofprose - Star Trek/QCard - Picard thinks his position, as captain of the Enterprise, plays the largest role in Q's obsession with him. Q would like to take that bet, even if Picard wasn't making one. What say they try it again, from the start? Without the captain nonsense? Notes: A poignant take on Q’s weird fixation with Picard. Not that anyone can blame him. I mean, shit, the man is Jean-luc Picard. Anyone would be fixated on him. Q uses his Q powers to explore Picard in multiple alternate universes, and erases his own memories in order to come in unbiased. Picard gets to keep his original memories, and those of the AU. Does Q still like Picard as much when he’s not at the helm of the Enterprise?
American Outlaws by manic_intent - Red Dead Redemption/Morston - “Bounty’s for one ‘Jim Milton’,” Sadie said, as she got close to the man under the oak tree. “Wanted for murder, robbery, and unnatural acts.”//“Unnatural what?”///“Don’t got details on here.” Sadie passed the folded up poster to her hunting partner. “You all right?”//Arthur Morgan didn’t answer her as he smoothed open the poster. He was aggressively smoking a cigarette, his second, judging from the stub on the grass. Notes: I loved RDR and RDR2 so much that I wrote my own fic in the fandom, despite knowing jackshit about late 1800’s America. It was only a ficlet, in order to hide how little I remember from my contemporary history classes, but much more talented people than me took on the burden of whole-ass novels. Here’s everyone’s fav BNF manic’s take on a fix-it Morston, pre-RDR1 but post-RDR2. It’s excellent. Who doesn’t enjoy forbidden love historical romance? Especially with a delicious helping of age gap. If you’d like Vandermorgan or even Vandermorston, check out more of manic’s stuff, and also kriegersan, who is another long-time fav of mine. 
Every Deckerstar fic by wollfgang. But especially a softer beginning, an amnesia!fic, and if you saw all of me, a true form!Lucifer!fic. You know, since angels are described as weird Eldritch beings in ancient texts. Both tropes are my favourite. Also that latter one has monsterfucking and we are all monsterfuckers here.
A Modest Proposal by ignaz - House M.D./Hilson - Tritter's case against House still depends on subpoenaed testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusual solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all. (Contains spoilers for everything up to and including "Merry Little Christmas.") Notes: Work 355 on the AO3. It’s that OG. And for an OG slash fandom, too. Well, not Star Trek levels of OG, but it’s a fandom based on Sherlock Holmes, and ACD did come before Star Trek! You’ve probably read it. It’s the OG Hilson Pretend Marriage!fic. But I had to rec it because when I get bored I watch House on Amazon Prime (or the thousands of clips they upload to YT nowadays), and I always am struck by HOW GAY HOUSE AND WILSON ARE OH MY GOD. I can never watch it with Mum in the room, though, because she was in the medical field before she retired, and the unrealistic nature of how House characters behave (and some of the medical procedures) make her SOOOOOO peeved. Though doctors, especially surgeons, were apparently huge egotistical dicks at times. Maybe not kill your own patient levels, though.
In A Place Where No One Appeared by Gefionne - Star Wars/Kylux - Following the destruction of Starkiller Base, General Hux is ordered to remove a wounded Kylo Ren to a place where he can recuperate. Knowing nowhere else to house him safely and discreetly, Hux takes Ren to his family’s estate on Arkanis. He anticipates adding this experience to the already long list of abhorrent memories he has of his childhood home, but six weeks in company with Ren turns out to be something quite unlike Hux expected. Notes: The imagery is so fucking vivid, I love it. The entire world of Arkanis is just lit up so beautifully in Gefionne’s words. This takes a little liberty with Hux’s backstory, given there wasn’t too much out at the time, but it’s so fucking good, I’d prefer its canon to the actual one, lmao. 
all that you love will be carried away by coldhope - Star Wars/Kylux - Supreme Leader, the oscillator is failing. The collapse has begun. There is nothing that can be done.//Hux, sent to retrieve Kylo Ren from the dying Starkiller Base, has lost almost everything, and has little patience or tolerance left for anyone or anything--particularly not Snoke's pet pseudo-Sith and his amateur theatrics. But you do the job that is in front of you, to the best of your ability, and you hold on as long as you can. Notes: One of the first Kylux fics, and one of the best. Their relationship is just so real here.
London Calling by SectoBoss - Overwatch/WidowTracer - Recaptured by Overwatch, Widowmaker is sent on a mission to assassinate a high-ranking Talon agent in London. It should be an easy mission – get in, take the shot, and leave. But when Tracer’s your getaway pilot a lot of things can go wrong, and things like 'subtlety' and 'discretion' tend to be the first casualties. Now, lying low after the mission goes awry, the pair of them have to survive in the city until Overwatch can get them home. Notes: Written when OW was in its heyday. And before the fandom was qqqquite as bad as it became. A WidowTracer case!fic, with Amelie as the reluctant good guy, which is always the best trope and I don’t take concrit on this point.
To the Victor, The Spoil by Annakovsky - Hunger Games/Haymitch/Katniss - No berries, no mockingjay, no rebellion. Katniss killed Peeta in the arena, and now she has to live with herself like every other victor. Notes: An old fandom, an older fic, back in the day when nobody complained about fucked up dark!fic. And fucked up dark!fic this is. Rape, age gap, age gap rape, Katniss losing all hope about the future, etc. But damn, it’s good.
The Want of You by MKK - Star Trek/Garashir - Julian Bashir is not quite sure yet about his feelings toward his enigmatic new friend Elim Garak. So when they both show symptoms of a mysterious illness, it seems they'll now have more time apart to ponder the future of the relationship. Their symptoms worsen, however, and to their shock, they discover there's only one way to effectively and inexplicably ease the pain: getting physically closer and closer - and closer. Notes: A forced bonding!fic where Bashir doesn’t actually know Garak all that well. As in, set very early in the canon. Very early. Which is my favourite way to read this beloved trope, because the whole fun of it (imho) is characters who barely have a grasp on each other’s personalities being forced to learn them.
Timeshare by astolat - Harry Potter/Drarry - “It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”//“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”//“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said, because he hadn’t just spent the last week contemplating just how much more horrible his summer holidays were about to be than they’d ever been before. Notes: Another forced bonding!fic, this time by AO3’s own founder. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. Their interactions here are perfect.
Speaking of Drarry, here’s a Veela!Draco fic I’ve recced before, but I don’t believe was in the original masterpost.
Talk to Me by Saras_Girl - Harry Potter/Drarry - When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story. Notes: Harry is temporarily deaf and blind thanks to a misaimed spell. Draco takes care of him, in secret. Identity porn at its best.
Semaphore by DevilDoll - MCU/Stony - "I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard." Notes: I wanted to rec another OG. One of the first Stony fics in the MCU, and still one of the best. It holds up very, very well and is worth a read if, by some miracle, you haven’t already.
Prisoner’s Dilemma by AvocadoLove - MCU/Stony - After taking the airplane down in the Arctic, Steve wakes to find himself imprisoned as a human test subject. With no idea where in the world he is, his only ally is a fast-talking inventor in the cell next door. Something’s off about Tony that Steve can’t put his finger on, and it’s obvious Tony doesn't fully trust him either. But to escape they may not have a choice… Notes: IDENTITY PORN! And it’s by an author I adore. AvocadoLove has pioneered the MCU MattFoggy fandom, and also donated their efforts and words to Stony. It’s the best. And it’s canon divergence! Which is another favourite trope, and one I can’t ever seem to stop writing myself. I have a lot of appreciation for it.
Speaking of MattFoggy, all of theapplepielifestyle’s works for the pairing are amazing. And all of their works in general.
Belief Space by magicasen - Marvel 616/Stony - The Time Gem appears not when it is wanted, but when it is needed. Steve learns this the hard way.//(Or: an Infinity #6 AU where Thane refuses his birthright and the Avengers are doomed - until the Time Gem shows up within Captain America's grasp.) Notes: A 616!Stony fic, if you’re craving something in the comics rather than the movies. Still with Civil War angst and Stony angry tension, just this time it’s even more painful, because their friendship in the comics!verse was beautiful and their fallout even more devastating.
This time tomorrow (where were we?) by dorcas_gustine - Marvel 616/Stony - Tony goes to see Wanda, and suddenly Steve is alive and there are Skrulls! Or maybe Tony is just going crazy. Nothing happens in this fic, until the very end. Seriously. There's a lot of talking, mostly at inopportune moments, Tony's views on the acceptable gifts to give people are slightly different from everyone else's and he spends more time than would seem necessary being (half-)naked. What else is new? Notes: More 616 for your Stony needs! Tony time travels into a word pre-Secret Invasion and decides to fix things his damn self.
despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario) - MCU/Stucky - “They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.//Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—//“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”//Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.” Notes: TWS Identity Porn!AU. Gore, given that the Winter Soldier’s mask is literally stuck to his face. But it’s excellent.
Simple by Osidiano - MCU/Stucky - Written for the capkink meme; "To the Winter Soldier, there are basically three kinds of people in the world: superiors, mission support, and targets. He doesn't have the context to understand things like friendship. So what he sees in the Smithsonian exhibit and what little he remembers or feels about his past, he interprets in that light. He thinks that Steve must have been his handler during World War II. That the reason he couldn't kill Steve and the reason he was smiling in the museum photos was because Steve was a good superior who treated him well (or at least didn't hurt him like Pierce and Rumlow, which to him might be the best he can imagine).//Thinking he understands the situation, he decides to report to Steve. Cue misunderstandings, confusion, and heartache for both of them." Notes: Bucky taking a while to snap out of TWS mode is one of my favourite tropes. This fic executes it perfectly.
Bridge Over Troubled Water by soniclipstick (veriscence) - MCU/Stuckony/Phlint - Ultron is destroyed, the Avengers are in disarray, and the Winter Soldier is still in the wind. Steve knows that he has to fix the ever-growing ocean of distrust between Tony and himself, so he takes a leap of faith and tasks Tony with the most important thing: finding Bucky Barnes. But it takes a pair of sexy but stolen hand warmers, several robots, Hawkeye and countless selfies before Steve realises the immensity of what he's set into motion. Notes: I would die for Stuckony as a ship. It’s one of my favourites to read and to write, and this fic here encapsulates it quite frankly in the best way. 
Strange New Worlds by Leletha - Supernatural/Destiel/Sabriel - AU…THE FUTURE: Humanity survives everything, spreads to the stars, and finds it needs to know where it can land. Enter interplanetary explorers Sam and Dean Winchester…and sentient starships Gabriel and Castiel. Then ships and crews start disappearing out in the black and, as usual, all goes straight to hell. Notes: I corresponded with Le’letha when they originally wrote this fic, and my love for it has only grown in the years since. Sci-fi mystery, yes. Dude, Castiel is a sentient spaceship. That itself is premise enough.
In His Image by Anonymous - Supernatural/Sabriel - Kali can breathe life back into a corpse, but what exactly is Gabriel now? Gabriel flits around various centuries trying to work that out, Dean has another powered-down angel and a little brother to look out for, Castiel has forgotten how to trust, and someone keeps sending Sam annoying little notes on his laptop. Oh, and Bobby would like to remind you all that there’s an Apocalypse still going on. Covers season 5 from Gabriel’s death to the finale. Notes: My favourite Sabriel fic. God only knows why the author abandoned it. I have their original name, but it doesn’t feel right to reveal it when they made the conscious choice to anonymise. Let me just say that they were a favourite of mine.
If You Were the Last Woman on Earth by Vali - Doctor Who/Thoschei (Twissy) - Just because your best enemy accidentally destroyed planet Earth is no reason to refuse her hospitality. Written for the Only One Bed fanfic challenge. Notes: That last note doesn’t even begin to cover how wonderful this fic is. Tropes are irrelevant, this captures them perfectly. Still one of my fav ever Thoschei fics. Now just get me one where The Master calls our titular hero Theta Cubed Sigma Ex Squared Lungbarrow, please.
A Wealth of Sorrows by evelynwaaaaah - Dragon Age/Solavellan - Things are getting back to normal in Skyhold now that Corypheus is gone. Until the Inquisitor collapses in mid-conversation.  Notes: Solavellan is still a ship I would die for. This fic will make you ship it, if the game didn’t already. And this is coming from someone who romanced Cullen on my first playthrough.
Reclamation by copperbadge - Harry Potter/Background Jily and Wolfstar - In an alternate universe, one man still struggles with a moral decision made many years before. Notes: What if Tom Marvolo Riddle wasn’t quite the same maniac of the canon!verse and was accepted to the position of DADA professor? By the esteemed copperbadge.
Truth and Illusion by penny_dreadful - Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica/MadoHomu/KyoSaya - “I’ve, um, been dreaming.” She closes her eyes because it’s easier to ignore Mami and Homura’s stares. “In, in my dream I’m still in bed, but I-I’m not alone, Sayaka’s next to me but she’s not breathing, she’s—”//She’s pale and cold and pretty in the same way the stained glass windows of Kyoko’s father’s church are pretty and she’s lying so still she can’t be anything but dead. But in her dream Kyoko still curls around her, soul gem in hand, keeping her warm, keeping her safe—//“—she’s dead, I didn’t even know her that well and she’s dead and in my dream I’m so, I’m scared that there’s nothing I can do.” She opens her eyes. “But there really is nothing I can do. She’s already gone, and we left her there.” She stares hard at her hands. “We weren’t really even friends.” Notes: Not really a fix-it for MadoHomu, but certainly one for SayaKyo. Homura does more spacetime bullshit. Kyouko remembers.
~~~
I think that should cover it for now! That took me ageeeees, and I have games to go waste my life on and fics to write now lmao. Let me know if you want a third installment!
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