#anti grace blackthorn

[immortal-enemies]

The utter DISRESPECT

Pls tell me she's joking w this because 😭😭

[readwithlivvy]

i am NOT ready for grace and christopher what the fuck

[achingly-shy]

jem bby ily but come on…..

[delicatebluebirdruins]

imagine thinking people hate Grace Blackthorn for only “getting in the way“ of Jordelia and not the part where the “in the way” comes from mind control

imagine thinking people hate Matthew Fairchild for only “getting in the way“ of Jordelia and not the part where he is a bully and truth serum

[pansexual-lilychen]

”we need more complex female characters“

y‘all couldn’t even handle her

[spacehero-23]

I know I always shit on Grace because of the SA scenes. But can talk about Cassandra Clare being a little FREAK for actually writing them?

Because those scenes have NO reason for existing. Why is Grace kissing James if he's already under her control? And we have to read not one, but THREE separate scenes of him being SAed? For what? What was the reason Cassie?

And the Matthew one!? She has Grace force him to kiss her, threaten to tell people that HE was the one who SA her! And then she makes him forget and it's never mentioned again. So it's not like it was important to the plot. Clare was just a freak who decided to include FOUR SA scenes in her YA series, apparently for shits and giggles!

At least when Sebastian did it in TMI it was obvious that we're meant hate him for it, and be disgusted. At least in those books it was treated with some respect. But in TLH? She gives the person who did it a redemption arc and doesn't even have the balls to write a proper confrontation or an apology.

I have A LOT of issues with Cassie but this one takes the cake.

[stabbydragon]

*clears throat* Can we just talk about how unfair it was that Cordelia was the one who got to kill Tatiana? Like there were a million other people who were way more qualified.

I’m pretty sure most people, like me, were rooting for Grace. After all, she was the one that Tatiana hurt most by physically abusing her, making her into a weapon, forcing her to brainwash James which made everyone she cares about mad at her, etc. Not to mention that Christopher, one of her only friends, the only person who defended her, and the one who encouraged her to pursue her passion for science, had just been MURDERED by Tatiana! And like, Grace was RIGHT THERE with a knife to Tatiana’s throat! Then CORDELIA had to come and ruin everything by summoning Lillith! WTF!?

Jesse was another person who had been hurt by Tatiana. This bitch, who he thought cared about him despite her flaws, as a mother should, SOLD HIM TO BELIAL so he could be possessed and forced to murder people which he would never do under any circumstances of his own free will! The guilt the poor boy must have gone through because of this bitch! Although personally, I don’t think he would be capable of murder, but it would have been better than fucking CORDELIA.

Also, the idea of either Jesse or Grace doing it to avenge their sibling? 😭

My second choice after Grace would be Lucie, who would be furious both because of Jesse being possessed, and because she had just found out that Tatiana had been the one to ruin James and Cordelia’s marriage, causing both her brother and parabatai a lot of pain. It would have set the scene for a fascinating conversation between her and Jesse regarding how they both felt about Tatiana’s death (the same is true for Grace) because I need more Ghostwriter scenes. Also, if she killed her partially on Grace’s behalf, it would better showcase what could have been a beautiful dynamic that desperately needs to be explored further. I need these too to become besties immediately! Lucie, unlike her boyfriend, totally deserved to be a morally ambiguous character. She had so much potential for stabbiness, so where’s all the stabbiness? It’s so unfair that she never gets to stab someone ONCE because she’s a main character and therefore needs to be morally perfect even though people who grew as rich as she did are the ones most likely to be evil. Besides, she could have ordered a ghost to do it while Lucie herself was far away, giving her an alibi, and any witnesses would not have seen the ghost. Honestly my preference would be if Lucie and Grace teamed up to do it together in Jesse’s name.

EVEN FUCKING JAMES a would have been a better option, not that I would like it much. He was the one who was brainwashed since he was fourteen after all. He was the one who kept on accidentally breaking his wife’s heart because of the gracelet.

While Cordelia was still hurt by Tatiana’s actions, she was farther removed from the situation. But because sHe’S tHe PrOtAgOnIsT, she had to be the one to do it. Not even of her own volition, but because she was being manipulated by a greater demon. Imagine all of your protagonists being so heroic and morally sound that they can’t even neutralize someone as twisted and dangerous and inhumane and this bitch without being physically magically controlled by Lillith herself. Is there anything more boring?

And what really makes me angry is that she finally gave in due to the death of one Christopher Lightwood, a character with whom she had no established dynamic. If this was CC’s plan all along, she could have made it so they had at least one single fucking conversation alone??? If the main catalyst for Tatiana’s death was Kit’s murder, then practically ANY OTHER CHARACTER a would have been better. Cecily and Gabriel and the others were in Idris but, once again, there’s Grace, Lucie, James, Thomas, Anna, Matthew, etc. Hell, even Rosamund Wentworth, who arrives pretty soon after Kit’s death, knew him longer than Cordelia!

*Ahem* Thank you for listening to my PSA

[ladyhindsight]

So, God definitely exists and Lilith is having her own fashion show whenever she appears. That’s cool. Anyway. It has taken ages to even summon any will power to finish the book, the whole year so far has been personal chaos, but now as the storm has ceased and I had couple days off to just lay down on my sofa to power through this monstrosity, all I am left with is a major what the fuck. Expectations were close to zero and Chain of Thorns still went right under it.

Just minutes before I finally finished Chain of Thorns and I don’t even know what it all was for. The major things holding this story together is everyone’s damn pride and fear of being pitied—obstacles which all of them have to overcome. James and Cordelia are both too proud to be pitied, but narrative-wise there is this perpetual pity party going on. All this ruminating over Things That Never Were and Stuff That Is Forever out of Reach is just whole lot of words for whole lot of nothing, especially when the ending to their relationship is nothing if not predictable. The purple prose doesn’t make me feel anything, doesn’t resonate with me on any level, and I can’t connect to it because in the grand scheme of the story, it is based on false perception created by the unwillingness to be truthful. In the end, all that angst and wondering about the feelings at every turn, it is a waste of time.

Every character is so driven by their self-loathing, seriously bordering on self-pity, and pride that all their motivations blur into the same mess. The unwillingness to be truthful, powered by the pride of each character, is the force for which the plot can even reach the points it wants. Clare truly is a master of creating this endless but absolutely done-to-death emotional circle she just keeps recycling in every trilogy she manages to publish. Writing is the same as ever, dialogue is a pathway to always just tell things, it’s also hand-holding and over-bearing: “It seems the Inquisitor has hurt his right arm.” “He was branded on his arm by Belial.” “So that’s why he was holding it like it hurt!” No shit?! Stop it. On a positive note, I think the series is more emotionally aware and intelligent compared to The Mortal Instruments and even The Infernal Devices, where the emotional awareness only encompassed Clary, Jace, Will, Jem, and Tessa. Not completely without its grievances, but when are these books ever?

The plot served its purpose, I guess. Cordelia becoming a paladin of Lilith served its role in saving James and defeating Belial. Others had their own stories and relationships but were helpful and sometimes integral for the story to progress. It’d be otherwise fine if the book didn’t forget the actual plot for a major part of its duration and exchanged it for useless inter-character dramatics and constant cliffhangers. Additionally, it’s just that the whole Watcher thing (like the Grigori?) was clear from miles away. Whenever Clare introduces a new but a very basic element to the Shadowhunter world THAT SHOULD HAVE EXISTED ALREADY and explains it through a character (this time Cordelia), it’s a dead giveaway. So the tease They wake + the Iron Tombs = waiting two thirds of the book for the characters to catch up with you. The story is so infected with repetitive narrative, drama and self-loathing, pseudo-profound ponderings on love and pride, and I am sick of even thinking about any of it.

Maybe one day I have something else to say about the book in general, but not today. My brain has once again been obliterated. So, as usual, some thoughts and notes and more in-depth grievances:

CORDELIA CARSTAIRS AND JAMES HERONDALE. They come together, because I have no coherent thoughts about James or Cordelia. They were there and did their protagonist duties. Of course there was a love triangle. Blah, blah. I just didn’t like Cordelia in this installment as much as the previous ones. Maybe her pride took so much center stage that her previous kindness and compassion were overshadowed by it and self-righteousness. Her bravery is no longer bravery but same thoughtlessness of every other Clare heroine. James was there, hoorah. No, but seriously. James’ trauma was so in-depth analyzed and told, his feeling of pain and anguish and anger relished in so much that the writing was incapable of coming up with anything new to say instead of regurgitating same things over and over again. Also, Cordelia was constantly aware of James’ bracelet when he wore it, but never mentioned it once he stopped wearing it for good?

THOMAS LIGHTWOOD AND ALASTAIR CARSTAIRS. They worked out, yay. Don’t know why they love each other, but okay. Their romance was a nice and carrying force through some bleak scenes in the book. Alastair becoming more open and comfortable in showing affection was lovely. Turned out great.

ANNA LIGHTWOOD AND ARI BRIDGESTOCK. See the above. Same sentiments. But much like with Thomas and Alastair, most of the development happened in this final instalment and pretty hastily too. And like the above pair, I feel like a lot of the progress came with transforming the characters into unrecognizable version of themselves too quickly. I was happy that Ari was able to connect with her mother again and Flora could flourish (lol) without the stifling presence of her husband, but I also feel like I’ve seen this setting where a bad and homophobic husband and father gets a metaphorical kick to his ass and goes away in order for the life to be better for his family without him.

LUCIE HERONDALE. Lucie was generally great. No hard feelings. It’s a bit contrived that it is precisely the canoodling of Jesse that brings her closer to the dead, but whatever. Love that her weapon of choice is an ax.

MATTHEW FAIRCHILD. Matthew’s story ends on a somber note. While Matthew definitely was not one of my favorite characters, I hoped he could’ve had something more to him than James and Cordelia. His journey to sobriety continues, which was great that it wasn’t over just like that, but the reason for his drinking was such a huge thing that was carried throughout the books, so it was disappointing to see it quickly addressed in the epilogue. Matthew deserved more than a hasty redemption in the end.

CHARLES FAIRCHILD. There are other people that are dying, Charles!! is what I am left with. I am absolutely aghast how Charles’ character was treated. I can’t believe that Clare still managed to write one more let’s push this character out of the closet because it is The Right Thing to Do scenario in her books. Charles has to brave the world and lose what he has to lose because his dreams and aspirations, according to the narrative, are worth nothing because he is more privileged than other people. Charles coming out with his sexuality is set against the choice of standing with or against his family as if there was no other way to solve this but guilt Charles into doing the right thing so he can’t be blackmailed anymore. Nobody cares, your family loves you—then what are the stakes here then, in their homophobic society that time and time again fails to deliver any consequence while existing as this ostracizing boogeyman?

I hoped there was some sort of ploy that Charles intended to execute in order to remove the thorn from his mother’s side and replace the Inquisitor with someone who was more fair and just and capable. At once, when Tessa said that Charles is just misguided, I knew it wouldn’t be because Tessa is never wrong. So all there is this dumb blackmailing plot whose only merit is to have Maurice Bridgestock removed from his position as Inquisitor. It did not serve Charles’ character in any way nor were his story with his family or Matthew in any way concluded.

GRACE BLACKTHORN. While discussing Grace, Christopher says that Grace was just a child when she was forced to act on James. Thomas says it doesn’t matter with anger and fury. Matthew equates Grace’s actions to a murder, as you do. While Will’s actions against Tatiana are in no way comparable to Grace’s, it is strange how Will being twelve is mentioned as if in order to act as an extenuating circumstance, while this doesn’t apply to Grace. It is also weird how everyone else’s torment is mulled over, used as an excuse for some type of behavior, but Grace's abuse and manipulation at the hands of Tatiana and Belial isn’t taken into consideration by anyone else than Jem? Also why did Cordelia get to vanquish Tatiana and not Grace? Grace’s treatment in this book, along with Charles, was just painful.

JESSE BLACKTHORN. Much like James, he is a stale piece of wheat bread. Only thing I have in mind about Jesse is that I found it a bit over the top, out of the little character he had, that he was so angry at Grace so that he left her. Jesse reacted exactly the way I feared Cordelia would react to Alastair. I was hoping for angry but sad and disappointed approach since Jesse knew better than anyone what Grace has lived through. Also, why Jesse (or Grace) wasn’t given time with his uncles who had wanted to get to know him for ages?

CHRISTOPHER LIGHTWOOD. My sweet cheese, my goodtime boy. Characters Clare writes most often only know the strongest of emotions. They always react with anger, defensiveness, and passion; by shouting, by self-righteous fury, by everything that is so exhausting to always read. Most of the characters are that, and am I so happy how Clare stayed true to Christopher’s temperate and serene nature, even when his cousin/best friend has been greatly wronged. And when everyone was so angry at Grace, Christopher was the only one to see reason. So, WHY THE FUCK HE DIED? No one, but most of all Cordelia herself never acknowledge that Kit died protecting her.

The “false” family tree lead the story on how Kit and Grace would probably become a couple, and would’ve made sense since they bonded over science and their minds were alike while they were so unalike in other ways, but boom. Kit dies, and Grace is left to figure out the fire messages on her own, because otherwise there wouldn’t be that obstacle of not being able to reach the Shadowhunters in Idris. Kit died for a shock value and so that a measly little plot point could work. Also great how the Lightwoods always have their children killed?? We never even see Gabriel and Cecily mourning?? Eugenia was weirdly chipper after just losing another one of her family members?? All these pages dedicated to romance bullshit that will solve itself but not for this.

TATIANA BLACKTHORN. Tatiana is a fiend, a terrible demon-worshipping, toddler-kidnapping fiend, but also a cartoonish one at that. It’s just overdone. She was made uglier and uglier, the machinator of evil things, and then she died. Voilà. There is one narrative aspect that was weird though. The Herondales and the Lightwoods insist on having tried their all to help Tatiana who always refused, but when Jesse confronts his mother, he says:

“I have come to know them by now. There is truth much harsher. One I think you know. They have not tried to ruin you over all these years. They have not plotted your downfall. They have barely even thought of you at all.”

Sick burn, but which is it? Adamantly trying to help her or not thinking about her at all?

MAURICE BRIDGESTOCK. A cartoon character with a cartoon ending. A homophobe bigot who got what he deserved, but a cartoonish character still. He was jealous of the Herondales and thus was an antagonist. Why is everyone obsessed with the Herondales in every damn book?

ESME HARDCASTLE. Esme was shoved in there in order to explain the “found family tree”, which at some point, I have no doubt, was how things were supposed to be, until Clare had more ideas for the Edwardian kids. No other characters in whole of TSC have gone through so many changes as these characters have. And as such, to keep the predictability at minimum—which isn’t a lot—the old family tree is made up by Esme, so Clare can spin this tale why it wasn’t accurate. Grace didn’t marry Christopher, Alastair didn’t have children (probably?). Then Clare had all these surprise babies coming because the way she chose to end the story for the Edwardian kids would mean no Emma, no Clary as we know them. So new Carstairs baby, new Fairchild twins.

i. The beginning of the prologue is over-saturated with flowery prose and similes that the narrative gets buried underneath.

ii. James is worried about Lucie, but more importantly needs to find her so he can go back to worrying about Cordelia and Matthew.

iii. The whole series has been a barrage of period typical social etiquette and decorum fed to you with a spoon. Even The Infernal Devices wasn’t this intent on it. Men did not usually accompany even wives or sisters into a dressmakers shop. What do you care about mundane decorum, you are Shadowhunters! Have some etiquette of your own.

iv. “…one of the modistes attacked the closures at the back of Cordelia’s dress without requiring any instruction—clearly she had done this before—and pushed and pulled at Cordelia as if she was a stuffed mannequin.” CcLeEaRrLy. You just told she didn’t need instruction, the rest is rather obvious. And I hope she knew what she was doing, she works there!!

v. Then there is this ridiculously complicated sentence: “Madame Beausoleil, who kept her salon on the Rue de la Paix, where the most famous dressmakers in the world—the House of Worth, Jeanne Paquin—were situated, was, according to Matthew, well acquainted with the Shadow World.” Like, what. Honey. Darling. “Madame Beausoleil kept her salon on the Rue de la Paix, where the most famous dressmakers in the world—the House of Worth, Jeanne Paquin—were situated. She was, according to Matthew, well acquainted with the Shadow World.” Or does that info about the location have to be there at all? Surely there were plenty other paragraphs where you could’ve stuffed that.

vi. Apparently this, apparently that, apparently everything! Whenever Clare uses such a word, it is a sign that she is unnecessarily feeling the need to justify why she is giving some particular piece of information or why a character is making an observation they could realistically make.

vii. Cordelia’s savings to pay Matthew for the dresses? What savings? From what and where?

viii. There are so many parentheses explaining things

ix. There is not a one scene in Paris where Cordelia doesn’t think how other people might see her and Matthew as a couple. Every time, which is in basically every scene they have in public, someone watches them and admires them and their “young love.”

x. “I have never heard anyone sound as if they were in such pain. Jamie, you must talk to us.” Yes, no one has ever been in greater pain than James Herondale, and that has the stamp of approval of Will Herondale so it really means something.

xi. a lot of the gray is gunmetal gray

xii. Having Tatiana comment on Jem’s appearance as Silent Brother and call it privilege for knowing the Lightwoods and Herondales doesn’t take away the fact that it is awfully convenient that Jem isn’t bald or his face isn’t sown shut. Though I get the intent behind this was to elicit such reaction as how awful of Tatiana! She doesn’t know anything Jem has suffered! It was not his choice! and the like. Blah.

xiii. What is it with these YA books in which waiters always give the characters their unsolicited opinions on people’s orders?

xiv. I assume Madame Dorothea of Brooklyn named herself after this famed Madame Dorothea of Paris. Why didn’t Malcolm go to her about Annabelle? I don’t remember if there ever was a mention of it.

xv. When Lucie tells the truth about Jesse and her powers to Magnus and Will, the PoV changes from James to Lucie with no indication of PoV change:

xvi. “James thought of the box of matches in his pocket, each one a sort of signal light that, when struck, summoned Jem to his side. He did not know how the magic worked, nor did he think Jem would tell him even if asked.” Just leave this part out, readers will think it’s just magic and that’s it. Now this just sounds that you couldn’t bother to think about it and just tried to explain possible scrutiny away. This instead just points more to the fact that you have no clue how the magic in your world works.

xvii. “James returned to the house, crawling into bed with his coat still on.” James can’t return to the house and crawl into his bed at the same time.

xviii. Take a shot every time the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durendal is said in TSC

xix. It’s annoying how Matthew speaks so lowly of Charles wanting to keep Alastair a secret when their own society supposedly sucks ass and enables shame and discrimination

xx. Cordelia only accepts Matthew’s affections once she thinks she has truly lost James. Why did she want to kiss Matthew if she didn’t even fancy him? She just selfishly used him and his love to forget her own mistakes, which I didn’t like about her at all. But that of course just fed into the love triangle that Clare is so insistent on writing in each one of her series, and the end couple is always obvious.

xxi. “…and James could remember, painfully, what kissing Cordelia was like, hotter and better than any fire.” I don’t think being burned by fire is good?

xxii. It’s torturous—and not in the good giddy way—how Clare finds even the tiniest excuse to prolong James and Cordelia finally getting together. “I should tell her the truth but Cordelia looked so happy with Matthew, so I didn’t.” Good grief.

xxiii. “Pity and kindness were not love. Only free choice was love; if he had learned nothing else from the horror of the bracelet, he had learned that.” Only a free choice to those who are free to love and go for that love and their dreams without having to make a choice between either. So fuck that.

xxiv. Ari didn’t bring any clothes with her when she left her parents. “She’d have to buy new things.” WITH WHAT MONEY? FROM WHERE? HER “STIPENDS” WENT TO LIVING EXPENSES! EXPLAAAIN

xxv. “At the breakfast table sat Anna’s brother Christopher, and, of all people, Eugenia Lightwood.” Yes, out of all the people in this world that is sitting at the table is Anna’s cousin. Truly odd.

xxvi. “The Institute is the safest place in London when it comes to demons; if he did somehow attack, the whole Enclave would retreat here as a matter of policy.” Not when it comes to the Jack the Ripper one in The Whitechapel Fiend.

xxvi. Will discusses Tatiana’s vengeance for being wronged: “Will sighed. “That was me. I read her diary out loud at a Christmas party, long ago. I was twelve. And I was quite severely punished, so in fact, the Enclave was on her side.”’ No, he wasn’t. And the whole Enclave punished Will? Please. There was no culpability, no apology, and no admission of guilt. And he also broke Gabriel’s arm. This is an attempt afterwards to alleviate the guilt on Will’s end when it comes to Tatiana’s madness. More realistic approach, less let’s-make-Will-more-shiny-and-not-at-all-a-participant-in-Tatiana’s-insanity would be something like: “That was me. I read her diary out loud at a Christmas party, long ago. I was twelve, but that’s on me.” And they would’ve gone on that it didn’t matter because in grand scheme of things it was such a miniscule thing.

xxvii. Take a shot every time the writing tries to stealthily prop up Will and Tessa as good and kind. Clare is really adamant at making the Herondales victims at every turn.

xxviii. “Benedict Lightwood brought down vileness upon his family, and Tatiana could not accept either his culpability or her own.” True, yet funny how the same does not apply to the ones who are on the right side of things. Accepting culpability on all that…

xxix. “He thrust the hand at James, who slashed an iratze across Matthew’s palm, followed by two Energy runes. He would not normally give Matthew, or anyone, more than one, but they would act as knives, cutting through any fog in Matthew’s brain.” One very profound problem (which I will bring up with TMI in time) is that this excerpt reveals that Clare thinks we know how runes work, when she has in actuality laid no groundwork for it. Is there a limit how many runes one can bear at once? What are the adverse effects of too many energy runes? What if you use iratze when you don’t need one? Are there runes that, when used at the same time, might hinder the effect of one another?

xxx. Take a shot every time a character narrates other characters on how much they have changed.

xxxi. “Now, Thomas has lost a sister and a friend as close as his brother, all in one year.” Weird way to say a cousin. You surely mean his cousin as close as his brother??

xxxii. “Grace said, not unkindly, “I’ve come to know Lucie quite well, you know, the last months. She was probably as close to a friend as I ever had.”’ Christopher was her friend, hellooo???

xxxiii. There seems to be a theme that whenever things are getting hot and heavy, something abrupt happens and interrupts the scene. Not that I am complaining, interrupt that awkward shit.

xxxiv. The bodies of the Iron Sisters and Silent Brothers don’t decay, but so what? Everyone else gets burned after dying, why not them also? Are they not inflammable? Also, what a great opportunity to mention Abigail Shadowhunter and David the Silent, but did we just once again wave at that opportunity as it passed by? Yes, we did.

xxxv. “Alastair waved his hand. “Yes, yes. It has been Roman and Saxon and now it will be demon. It has survived plague and pestilence and fire—”’ Best quote.

xxxvi. “It is easy to confuse monstrousness and power,” said Cordelia. “Especially when one is a woman, as one is not supposed to possess either quality.” Again, a weird fucking take for people whose numbers are dwindling and need all the fighting power they can get and half of that power are women

xxxvii. “he had been sure, somehow, that Cordelia would come after him, would find a way. And it did not surprise him at all that Lucie had not left her side.” James sure has faith in his sister to rescue him in dire need. No, Lucie came because Cordelia came. Whatever, what do I care.

What, in the end, was the true purpose of this trilogy? What merit is to it that it exists? How has The Wicked Powers become richer for having The Last Hours precede it? It’s actually devastating how inconsequential all of this is. The true Belial has been vanquished, but another demon has taken his place as Belial. Is this new Belial even a fallen angel or just some demon? Because otherwise he is not like the rest of the Princes at all. I would’ve hoped that at least one thing, like Emma getting to finish Belial with Cortana, would’ve given this trilogy even a little bit more purpose. 700+ pages and all is still left rather unfinished. Nothing at least feels concluded other than James and Cordelia’s love for each other being stronger than a Prince of Hell is capable of breaking. Blergh.

[Additional notes]

[lesbocrocker]

Tatiana after controlling James, abusing Grace and Jesse, murdering Christopher and kidnapping Alexander:

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Title from right where you left me by Taylor Swift

Angstmas Days of Summer Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I Stayed There) Dust Collected On My Pinned Up Hair

December, 1904; One year after the death of Christopher Lightwood

“Grace?” It was Thomas who called to her this time, instead of one of the Fairchilds like it normally was. They were concerned about how much time she was spending down there in the lab.

Everyone was it seemed. It had even spread to Christopher’s friends.

She didn’t respond, too focused on the book in front of her. It was Christopher’s journal, she’s read it cover to cover dozens of times by now. She could probably quote it word for word now if asked.

Grace could hear Thomas’s footsteps, loud and heavy, on the stairs. She ignored him and again started to focus on Christopher’s journal, mouthing the words as she read.

“Grace?” Thomas called again when he got down to the lab. He sounded concerned. He shouldn’t be concerned but he sounds so concerned.

“Matthew told me you’ve been down here for weeks, he’s concerned about you. The whole family up there is, really, even Charles and Charles doesn’t care for anyone.” he kept talking and Grace kept ignoring him. Maybe if she ignored him he would go away and leave her alone. She deserved to be alone.

He kept going on and on, rambling before Grace finally slammed the journal shut and turned to glare at him.

Thomas just smiled at her in response. “Oh, hello, there you are.”

She just turned back around and started going through the beakers and organizing them, a mindless enough task. “Yes, here I am. I am fine, leave me alone.”

“Sorry, Grace, but I can’t do that.”

“And why not? You have two legs and two feet. It seems to me like you can leave.”

“I can. But I can’t. Not today.”

“And what is today?”

“Grace, you what today is.”

“No I don’t, please, enlighten me.”

“It’s the day Christopher died, Grace.”

The beaker fell out Grace’s hand and smashed to the floor, shattering in pieces all over her feet.

Today couldn’t be that day, it just couldn’t. She would know if it was that day. She would know. He had to be lying.

“No, it’s not. You’re lying,” she accused him. “I would if he…if he died, today. I would never forget.”

Thomas looked at her with a sad expression. Grace truly looked at him now and he looked like he’d been crying. He wasn’t lying. It really was today.

“No.” she whispered, voice hoarse.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Grace.” Thomas said, his tone was genuine and Grace hated it. He shouldn’t be the one apologizing.

“No, no, no! I’m the one who should be apologizing! It’s all my fault! It’s my fault that Christopher is dead and that today is sad! It’s all my fault!” Grace screamed. She didn’t know where all the anger came from and why it had came so suddenly.

But once it started, it couldn’t stop.

“None of this ever would have happened if hadn’t been for me. I’m a horrible person. I manipulated James, Matthew, Charles, I probably even manipulated Christopher too. It’s because of my actions that he died. They should’ve kept me in the Silent City. He should still be here and I shouldn’t be. He should still be here right now and you should blame me, you should be angry. You shouldn’t even care about me at all because I killed your best friend. I’m just as bad as she was.”

Thomas had gone quiet, listening to Grace rant on and on. But now he spoke up. “Tatiana killed Christopher, not you. And yes, you manipulated the people I care about, people that Christopher cared about, but you have apologized for it. But it wasn’t your fault that any of this happened. You know as well as I do that Tatiana is the one at fault here. She abused and manipulated you for years, and then when you finally fought back, she killed your first real friend. And that’s a trauma Grace, a trauma that you didn’t cause. She was a bitter person who let what happened to her effect her actions until she died. You are nothing like her, Grace. Please don’t say that you are.

No one blames you or hates you, Grace, everyone is just concerned for you. You’ve been down here for days without eating or drinking, you don’t respond to anyone. Jesse’s concerned, the Fairchilds are concerned, I’m concerned, all of your friends are concerned. And before you say it, I’m not going to stop caring about you because you’re my friend and when you’re my friend, I never stop caring about you, no matter what you do. Just ask anyone and they’ll tell you. You have people that care about you, just like we cared about Christopher, we care about you too. You can lean on any one of us if you need to, because today is hard on everyone.”

Grace looked down at the broken shards on her feet, unable to look at Thomas anymore. He was Christopher’s best friend, his cousin, no, his brother. And he didn’t hate her.

It was silent for awhile, neither of them speaking. Until Grace broke the silence

“I loved him.” she whispered, barely audible but Thomas heard her anyway.

“I know.”

She looked back up at him. “You know? How?”

“Because he loved you too.”

That took Grace aback. Christopher didn’t love her, he couldn’t have loved her, he barely knew her. But at the same time, he knew her better than anybody. And she loved him for it

“How do you know that?”

Thomas smiled sadly and reached behind him for a small parcel that Grace didn’t notice he had had with him. “He had these made for you, before he died and you were still in the Silent City. He thought they would make a good first weapon for you.”

He handed her the parcel and she opened it with trembling hands.

Two silver hairpins laid in the tissue paper, delicate and sharp, with detailed spiders attached to the end. She had always loved spiders, something she had mentioned to Christopher during one of his visits.

And he had remembered.

Tears started fall from her eyes uncontrollably and her chest began to feel tight. Grace couldn’t breathe.

She clutched the parcel close to her chest as she fell to the floor and sobbed, all of her grief and sorrow finally being unleashed.

It wasn’t long until she felt arms around her, holding her as she sobbed.

She could feel Thomas’s tears in her hair.

He was grieving too and he felt her pain.

For once, Grace didn’t feel so alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hair pins look like this btw (except in all silver)

Tagging (ask to be added/removed)

@tessherongraystairs @petalsofaflower-shutupthomas @littlx-songbxrd @wagner-fell @aliandtommy

[pastelwitchling]

Chain of Iron by Cassandra Clare

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Just finished my reread of this in preparation for Chain of Thorns, and yep, ranking's still the same. I have so many complicated feelings about CC's works, and this was no different. So, without further ado, let's get into it.

Things I loved:

- Cordelia, Lucie, Alastair, Effie, Magnus Bane (obviously), and the Merry Thieves.

- Will. By the gods, did he bring such light to this book.

- I love how much I ended up really admiring Grace this time around. I hated her in the first book, and was caught up in hating her that I felt little to nothing for her and her struggles in the second book, especially considering after everything she'd done to James and Cordelia. But I really found myself not only empathizing with her this time around, but also appreciating the person she had to become, and I actually really wish we had a whole book with her Christopher properly getting to spend time together.

- Matthew. Just. Matthew. Love him so much.

- The romantic intimate scenes were written so painfully well. I just love Cordelia and James together.

- About half the jokes, particularly at the end. More on that below.

- Most of the battle scene with Lilith and Belial at the end, and Leviathan at the Institute courtyard. I'll get into that as well.

- Ariadne Bridgestock. She deserved so much better.

Things I hated:

- All the theft, in my opinion, from Order of the Phoenix 😅 I wouldn't be so frustrated by it if anyone else was mentioning it, but nobody is. So. Yeah, James seeing the actions of a serial killer through his dreams as if he was the one doing it? Fearing he might've actually been the one doing it in the middle of the night by being possessed? Feeling this intense hatred that he couldn't explain? Getting splitting headaches afterwards that left him staggering, not being able to focus on where he was or who he was with? Deciding to spy on the actions of the killer through his dreams? Come on, Cassie.

- Oh my GODS the cluttered sentences. There has been ZERO improvement on that front since TMI. Things described in the same way a hundred times in the same sentence or passage. People shrugging "philosophically," things being described as "lightning," the amount of times we get the description of snowflakes against lantern lights and the sight of London covered in snow. The weather rarely changed, so I don't know why we had to start every chapter with descriptions about it.

- In my opinion, there are way too many descriptions of specific areas of London, and it, again, completely clutters up the paragraphs that I just found myself lost all the time. Unless you know the streets of early 1900's London very well, it's very easy for everything to get jumbled up together.

- The extremely detailed descriptions of people’s lips, or necks, or throats, or collarbones…. There were just so many, and they, again, just felt cluttered.

- Things were dramatic for no reason, just to move the plot along. In what possible universe would Will Herondale, of all people, tell James to keep something important hidden from his parabatai and wife? It makes absolute no sense for his character.

- The jokes at death sites? We can save the one-liners for another time, guys, it's okay.

- The fact that none of these siblings are ever written like real siblings. I don't feel the relationship between them at all. Again, where I appreciated Grace a bit more because her attachment is the only one that makes any kind of sense.

- Thomas being furious with Alastair and everybody treating him the way they did because of something he said back in their academy days? I get them wanting an apology, but he's clearly changed, and you guys are just being pricks, refusing to allow him (and yourselves!) to move on from his mistakes.

- Characters would talk about other characters as they knew them when they were kids like that was sufficient background information to get us to care about them. And I just didn't. I didn't care about Filomena because she "was full of life and loved art," I didn't care about Lilian Highsmith who "ruffled Thomas's hair when he was a kid." When you only show us a character for a scene or two before their death, we surprisingly don't care when they're gone. Even the attack at the Institute left no deaths! I've said this before and I'll say it again; when you don't show us how bad things could get during a battle, it doesn't leave any kind of impact. I actually forgot the attack on the Institute until this reread.

- Anna Lightwood. She was great when she was a cousin and a friend, but the way she treated Ariadne was just plain despicable. Anna is the very epitome of white woman privilege. I get her being hurt by Ariadne, but the fact that all of her friends "eye Ariadne suspiciously" when she comes near Anna, like she's some kind of monster for being AFRAID at FIFTEEN-or-something of being CAST OUT by her ADOPTED PARENTS? And never once, never for a second, does Anna ever show ANY awareness, acknowledgement, or so much as sympathy. Never considering that maybe, JUST MAYBE, she's the unfair one. And the way CC talks about Ariadne in interviews, that outside of fiction no one should give her a second chance, it just doesn't bode well for her, and I think she deserves so much better than someone who treats her as cruelly as Anna does.

- The Bible references. This is a problem I have with all of her books. First thing Jace says in TMI is that they don't follow any particular religion, and yet ALL the characters and oaths EVER QUOTE is the Bible. I hate it. If they had said Shadowhunters follow Christianity from the get-go, I would have no right to complain. But they're so specific about NOT doing that, that when ALL they mention and quote is the Bible, it just feels very excluding and... kind of manipulative, I'm sorry.

- Controversial opinion: every time Jesse said "command me to dance with you/kiss you"; WHAT A LOAD. It just sounded silly, I'm sorry. Lucie could've just had the power to control him and chosen not to, but Jesse Blackthorn telling her not to use her powers without "a ghost's permission" and the way Lucie says she "shouldn't have" accidentally commanded ghosts to save Cordelia from drowning because it possibly could've been against their permission? Context matters, people. And in this case, the very nature of Lucie's power completely goes against the "moral lesson," and just served to show that, in my opinion, there was more care put into pandering and showing how tolerant she is than just focusing on character and having Lucie be a good person who chooses not to force Jesse into obedience. Instead she does it because he scolds her. It's stupid.

- The length. Big books are my favorite kind. But only when they have actual substance to them that moves the story along. Instead we get passages upon passages upon passages of history that comes out of nowhere and leads to nothing, as if just to prove she's thought of it even if it has no place in the story, there's NO demon hunting in this demon hunting story until almost 200 pages in and the next one doesn't happen until around 250 pages later (and what's crazy is that all the fighting scenes last about two to three pages and then they're over!), AND I've forgotten everything that happens a little after Cordelia and James move in together till about the fight with Belial. I honestly forgot James had even given Cordelia that globe necklace. This book could've easily been around 300 pages, and if not for the last 150 of them, I might've bumped down the rating.

Look. I ultimately LOVE CC's books. But I can have my critiques of them, and I see their faults so very clearly. There is stuff that just doesn't work for me, including outside factors that I feel like affected the story more than they should've. My favorite series of CC's is TMI, not just because of my favorite characters, but because it was written in a time when characters were allowed to have faults and there wasn't a constant attempt to not offend anybody. I gave this four stars, and it heartily deserves it. I just don't think the faults in a book should be dismissed either.

[readwithlivvy]

grace: *gets down on one knee*

james: oh my god, it's finally happening!!!

grace: *collapses on her side*

james: the poison is finally kicking in!!

[edwinspaynes]

A Rant About Grace + TLH's Narrative

One of the most interesting things about TLH is the way that the story treats morally gray characters. I think we can all agree that there are three gray-intended characters in the trilogy: Matthew Fairchild, Alastair Carstairs, and Grace Blackthorn.

Trauma + Moral Impurity

All three characters have obvious PTSD. This PTSD has only been explicitly labeled in the case of Alastair, as far as I am aware. (March 2020 St Louis Chain of Gold signing- I was there).

Cassie has also spoken of PTSD in Matthew and has talked of him as 'traumatized'/'having trauma' before, though I'm not sure the 'PTSD' label was ever explicitly used. Still, the intent is extremely obvious and I don't think one could make a reasonable argument to the contrary.

At any rate both Matthew and Alastair have their trauma directly and indirectly addressed in the narrative. Most of this trauma takes place before the books.

Grace has more on-page displays of becoming traumatized, especially throughout ChoI, but it is never really directly or indirectly addressed despite its on-page nature.

In all three cases, the characters do what they feel they need to in order to survive a world that has not been kind to them. The trauma (as well as mental illness in the case of Matthew) directly correlates to the moral impurity.

But the way that these characters are treated is wild. And the treatment of Grace is one of the few things I did not love about Chain of Thorns.

Matthew: A Case Study in Healing

Matthew is obviously a much-favored, much-loved character.

Not only does the author clearly adore him, but everyone else in the main cast has always loved him. He's family.

While he has his share of loud, obnoxious antis, most fans seem quite fond of him, and rightfully so! He's amazing, and he deserves it.

As of the end of Chain of Thorns, he no longer feels morally gray. However, he still feels like a real, morally impure human being in that way we all are, and this makes him an even better character.

These things lead to him getting a carefully-crafted open ending that will carry us into a novella serial centering around him. Very exciting.

Alastair: A Case Study in Forgiveness

Alastair is also very clearly loved by Cassie, and his storyline is crafted with a lot of care.

He also integrates with our main cast over time, and they come to love him. After a lot of hardship, he is now family.

Unlike Matthew, though, Cassie does seem to want readers to find Alastair at least somewhat morally gray up through the end of Chain of Gold. It also seems that she may want us to hold onto this idea in Chain of Iron, though it's difficult to view Alastair as "gray" at all then. At that point (and in ChoG too if I'm honest), he just seems like a normal dude that the main cast doesn't like.

Despite this, he appears to (totally rightfully) be the overwhelming fan favorite.

He is no longer "gray" by any stretch of the imagination in Chain of Thorns when he then enters his Romcom Era. However, like Matthew, he retains the feeling of a flesh-and-blood, impure, realistic person with reasonable flaws that do not make him unlikeable.

This is interesting to me because he, like Matthew, gets the perfect and wonderful ending that he deserves. In his case, it is a neat HEA, and he will be featured in future short stories and bonus content. Again, very exciting.

Grace: A Case Study in Sorrow

Grace's story is unlike either of these. For one thing, no one in the main cast likes her. This is VERY understandable in the cases of James, Matthew, and Cordelia.

It's also important to acknowledge that nothing Matthew or Alastair have done is anywhere near as bad as what Grace did.

But the common underlying factor is survival. All three characters did what they had to do to get by in a world that hurt them sorely.

Why is Grace afforded no sympathy at all?

The condemnation of Grace is foul in the cases of characters like Jesse and Lucie, and it's left me with a really sour taste in my mouth toward them. No one else in the group stands up for her besides Christopher, who promptly dies. Anyone else who might feel sympathy for her- I'm specifically thinking of Alastair, Thomas, and Ari- get virtually no page time with her. These potential dynamics are unexplored, and Grace is, too.

The narrative itself blatantly wants you to dislike her. This has been clear from Day 1. And this is even punctuated by the end of her story, when she:

Will clearly never integrate with this very tight-knit group (understandable, but she should have gone elsewhere to live)

Is sent off to live with people who genuinely don't like her

Is obviously not going to be featured in any future content

Grace cannot have a happy ending. This even manifests physically:

She had a scar on her cheek now, not from the battle at Westminster, but from a beaker that had exploded in the Fairchilds’ laboratory.

This is from the epilogue. Grace has long been valued for her physical features. Grace cannot have the one good thing about her ending- the fact that she has become Girl That Makes Things Go Boom- without being punished even for that.

It also does not elude me that Grace is the only character whose life we get 0 look at in the epilogue. Every other character has a little bit where we can check in with them, see how they're doing, and be happy for them because they got the lovely ending that most of them deserved.

Is there a reason for this?

I'm not sure. I think one possibility is that Cassie struggles with morally gray characters in general, though she is getting better at it.

Matthew was likely not initially intended as morally gray but simply as a complex character. Cassie was VERY successful here. Part of being a complex character is moral impurity, because humans are morally impure. It was an outcome.

Alastair, who was clearly intended as morally gray, comes off more as a generally good guy who has made morally impure mistakes that the main cast has unresolved beef with.

In the end, though, I think we can all agree that Matthew and Alastair are good people, and they are treated as good people in the narrative. Their suffering is dealt with carefully. Their personalities are interesting, consistent, and well-handled.

We see a couple of other oddly-managed morally gray characters in TSC, Julian Blackthorn being the prime example. At the end, the narrative erased his complexities in favor of making him a Nice Pancake Dad.

Jessamine Lovelace, who died a horrible death, also comes to mind. I think Grace's story is more along the lines of hers. They make their mistakes, and while not evil, they are punished sorely.

This also very likely ties into the fact that TSC has far more well-written male characters than female ones. The only girls that I think are objectively as well-developed as other men in the saga are Tessa, Cordelia, and Grace, who once again was treated terribly in the end. (I also want to say that I understand this and can't really blame Cassie. Writing women is much harder than writing men solely because there are so few examples of well-written women in literature to emulate. Big systemic issue, not Cassie's fault).

Another possibility is that Cassie does not view Grace as morally gray but instead believes her to be a villain-type character. I would buy this, but then why have all the flashbacks in ChoI?

Conclusion

I'm not sure why I typed this up, and I'm not sure why I'm posting it. I think I want to say that it's insane to me how badly Grace's character was botched. I'm not just saying that Grace deserved better as a human being, though she did. I'm saying that the author created and developed a great character but became so obsessed with punishing her in the narrative that the development in canon fell flat.

Grace Blackthorn deserved better.

Tagging @pansexual-lilychen because she unwittingly inspired my rant. Also tagging @belle-keys for science.

[straightbaittournament]

straightbait tournament F.A.Q.

HEY: i am drawing free propaganda for anyone who can donate $5 or more to the funds or orgs in the linked post!

where can i find the current polls?

all polls will be tagged as #straightbait tournament round (numeral), so you should be able to find them there.

you can find the round one bracket here.

currently active polls will be listed here:

shin and noi vs nathalie sancoeur and gabriel agreste

kaname date and hitomi sagan vs jean-luc picard and doctor beverly crusher

sylvia and will vs spada and raptor 283

entrapta and hordak vs buffy summers and spike

grace blackthorn and christopher lightwood vs angel and cordelia chase

tobias funke and debrie bardeux vs sam winchester and eileen leahy

valkyrie and thor vs alexa, liana, jeremy, and ian

completed round 1 polls and the rest of the faq under the cut:

kurosaki ichigo and kuchiki rukia VS gregory house and lisa cuddy

himmel and frieren VS abbie mills and ichabod crane

jeff winger and britta perry VS ochako uraraka and izuku midoriya

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai VS mako mori and raleigh becket

bow and glimmer VS galo and aina

keiichi maebara and rena ryugu VS hardwon surefoot and moonshine cybin

edward elric and winry rockbell but SPECIFCIALLY from fma 2003 VS maka albarn and soul evans

cali and flynn VS akko kagari and andrew hanbridge

steve harrington and robin buckley VS roy mustang and riza hawkeye

fox mulder and dana scully VS clara oswald and the twelfth doctor

tatiana slohzno and curt mega VS mako, korra, and asami

eva garvey and gabriel VS tyler rake and nik khan

alec hardy and ellie miller VS oscar francois de jarjayes and andre grenadier

ash ketchum and misty VS hikaru hitachiin and haruhi fujioka

matthew and mary crawley VS willow park and hunter

ava silva and michael salvius VS nina zenik and matthias helvar

kipo oak and benson mekler VS chrissie cunningham and eddie munson

ted lasso and rebecca welton VS luke skywalker and leia organa

the twelfth doctor and missy VS roman roy and gerri kellman

sam winchester and rowena macleod VS bruce wayne and selina kyle

bellamy blake and clarke griffin VS kathryn janeway and chakotay

livvy blackthorn and kit herondale VS tim drake and stephanie brown

brienne of tarth and jaime lannister VS merlin and morgana

jason grace and piper mclean VS peggy carter and daniel sousa

what tags do you use?

#straightbait tournament round (numeral) - for polls from a specific round of the straightbait tournament.

#straightbait tournament - any post generally about the straightbait tournament.

#singles tournament round (numeral) - for polls from a specific round of the singles tournament.

#singles tournament - any post generally about the singles tournament.

#honor the fallen - posts announcing the eliminated baits from completed rounds.

#announcements - important announcements such as start and end dates for each round and other information directly related to the tournaments.

#mod talks - casual posts and most asks. if you only want to see info that is prescient to the tournament, you can block this tag.

#(ship or character names) propaganda - propaganda for individual straightbaits.

#basics - posts concerning "vital" information, like rules and faqs, although i'm pretty sure that tag is busted atm, so this faq is kind of taking the place of those posts. you can find the original rules post here.

#other tournaments - posts promoting other tournaments, in which this blog has been tagged. there are some pretty cool ones in there!

what's your policy on ties?

only a perfect 50/50 counts as a tie. if one bait is even .1% higher than another, they win. i did this because i thought it would be funny and i also want to avoid tiebreaker rounds as much as possible

do you reblog propaganda?

yes! you are free to tag me in propaganda or to send it as an ask, although i may not reblog/respond to anti-propaganda (you're free to tag me though)

what are you counting as straightbait?

the definition of straightbait in this tournament is intentionally very loose, and the poll question is also vague on purpose (is it celebratory or derogatory? who knows). i've accepted submissions with more obvious examples of "straightbait", such as cases where m/f couples are teased but never get together, or couples who seem straight but are revealed to be queer. however, i've also accepted couples where they have some kind of weird fucking thing going on that could be interpreted a number of ways but isn't straightforward canonical m/f romance, "buried straights" who die after romance is confirmed, and a number of other things. i go more into this tournament's definition of straightbait here and here. i don't believe straightbait is an actual thing i'm just having fun and being sillay

why is this couple in the tournament if they get together canonically?

see above. in most cases where this question comes up, we're talking about buried straights. if the characters in question are queer, it is straightbait at least partially by virtue of those characters not being straight. and if neither of the above, the answer you are looking for will be in the propaganda.

you're free to argue about the validity of a straightbait in the tags, amongst yourselves, or in propaganda, but please don't come to me about whether a bait should or shouldn't be in the tournament

for more on queer characters being submitted to this tournament see this post and the tags of this post

what is The Policy?

i used to rb posts that i tagged with #as per The Policy. the policy says that any time i encounter a post on my dash that is related to one of the pairs in this tournament such that it could be used as propaganda, i have to reblog it. i decided to stop doing this because i realized it just biases the tournament in favor of the media tastes of my dash lmao

how were the matchups decided?

i sorted all my submissions into popularity tiers, then randomized matchups within each tier, so characters were matched up with others of equal or similar popularity to the best of my ability. tiers were based on how many submissions a pair received and how well they did in the singles tournament. there were five or six tiers in total, although it's been long enough since i made the bracket that i do not remember the exact number. if you ask me for more details on this there is a good chance i will no longer remember hdjshkdsj

what is the singles tournament?

the singles tournament was a preliminary tournament that i ran for every pairing or character that was only submitted once, hence "singles". i only automatically qualified straightbaits with more than one submission, so i did this to allow more submissions to enter the main tournament without having to create an absolute monster of a tournament. also a chance to see your blorbo in a poll at least once, even if they didn't qualify

what should i do if you've gotten something wrong?

send me an ask or a message, or leave me a comment! if you send an ask, please specify if you want me to answer it privately, as i will answer publicly by default. although be advised if i've made a typo in a poll option or poll title, i cannot edit it

what should i call you?

i've been referring to myself as straightmod/mod, but you can also call me karinyo! i use they/them, he/him, and ze/hir

[pansexual-lilychen]

i honestly think alastair & grace should just drop their siblings and become each other’s siblings because they’re both better and more caring siblings than cordelia & jesse

[diana-bookfairchild]

@fluffbruary Day 12

Jace liked watching Clary sketch.

She always got this adorable furrow between her eyebrows when she concentrated. She always stuck her tongue out from the corner of her mouth as she tried to get a particularly tricky part. Her movements were so certain, so perfect, so graceful. There was always this one red curl that never stayed in her hastily done ponytail and hung tantalizingly down by her ear that she was too focused and busy to brush back.

She was always incredible, always bright, always incandescent, but never more so than when she was doing something she loved.

“Uncle Jace!” Max called loudly, ruining the introspective mood. He held up and shook the wooden sword in his hand - one of the pair Jace and Clary had spent days painstakingly making for their nephews. “Come and help me!”

Jace smiled ruefully. Romance was hard with kids around, which was why Alec and Magnus had dropped them at the Institute, declaring they were off for a romantic get away which included rarely found gems such as peace and quiet and no levitating children and no explosions.

Fortunately, Max hadn’t started his anti-gravity antics yet, because Clary would kill Jace when he started climbing to follow. He would probably start soon though, seeing as he’d clearly gotten bored of the colouring books and was restlessly walking around, horns bumping into everything.

Rafe looked up from where he watching and helping Clary paint. “Can I go too, Tía Clary?” He asked softly.

Clary reached out to ruffle his hair. “’Course, kiddo,” she said in the tender voice she saved for the children whom she wanted to protect: Emma. Julian. The other Blackthorns. And now their nephews. “I’ll save your painting so you can finish it later, okay?”

Rafe nodded vigorously, before snapping to his feet and rushing over as Jace corrected Max’s grip on the practice sword. “Me too, Uncle Jace!”

Jace chuckled. “No rush, Rafe. Grab your sword and come.” He walked them through some simple exercises and maneuvers he thought they’d be able to do – the same ones he’d done with his younger brother so long ago.

“Gah!” Max growled, swinging his sword wildly. “I’m a Shadowhunter! I’ll kill all the demins!”

Jace grinned. “That’s my boy.”

Rafael was much smoother in his movements – which made sense. He was a Shadowhunter. He had a natural instinct with weapons, and Alec had told him he’d spied on other Nephilim and trained by himself. Jace admired that sort of independence and stubbornness. It reminded him of himself, how much ever Magnus would hate that comparison.

“Uncle Jace, when can we see Tavvy again?” Rafe asked suddenly. He left his sword down next to his overnight bag and came over. Max tossed his randomly and skipped towards them.

“Max, keep your sword properly,” Jace chided gently. “If you get hurt, how are you going to be a little nuisance? Besides, it could get damaged.”

“Not a nuisance,” Max slurred petulantly, but he went and retrieved his sword anyway.

“Alec or I’ll talk to Helen and Julian,” Jace promised his other nephew in response to his question. “I’m sure you’ll get to see him soon.”

He cast his mind back and tried to remember. Right. They’d had only one playdate with the youngest Blackthorn after the whole Cohort-fake death-giants fiasco, and Magnus and Alec’s wedding. Max and Rafael were probably still worried about how Tavvy was holding up after everything his family had gone through. Jace knew he worried about Emma and Julian plenty, despite them seeming perfectly happy on their travel year.

Rafe nodded, satisfied. Jace directed him to the myriad of toys spread on the floor, nearly obscuring it. Sometimes he nearly understood Alec’s concern that they were spoiled, but nah. If he was saw something he thought his nephews liked, he’d buy it. If he took them out, he’d get them unhealthy stuff and ice creams to eat. He was their uncle. That was his job. It was Magnus and Alec’s job to be the boring dads.

“I want to build the Col-o-se-um,” Max enunciated carefully. Clary came up to them, and Jace slid his arm around her waist, lightly pulling her in for a kiss.

“Where did you hear of the Colosseum?” She asked curiously.

“Bapak talked about it,” Rafe answered as they scrambled around looking for materials for the project. “He said he was there when it started to crumble. He said it was very ‘siting.”

“And then Daddy called him a very big liar,” Max added.

“But then Bapak said he was a liar whom Daddy loved,” Rafe continued.

“And Daddy said he was lucky he did,” Max said, gathering the cloth from their short-lived knitting project and dumping it to the side. Jace wondered how that was going to go in the Colosseum but decided not to ask. He didn’t want to know. “And Bapak agreed.”

“And then they kissed,” Rafe made a face. “So many kisses.”

“I don’t see why Alec and Magnus had to go on a vacation to get their share of romance,” Jace complained to his fiancée. “They seem to be bringing every cliché ever to life.”

“Yeah, but they won’t get their peace and quiet with you around,” Clary grinned as he made a face, and went over to the boys. “You know, I painted the Colosseum once.”

“Really?” Max asked, wide-eyed. “Can we see it, Tia?”

“Yes!” Rafe said excitedly. “I want to see your studio, Aunt Clary!”

“Sure, later,” Jace interrupted. “Didn’t you want to make your own Colosseum first? To work, builders!”

They nodded in agreement, starting to discuss (read: argue) how they ought to begin the construction.

“I don’t know how you get them to always listen to you,” Clart said, smiling, as the brothers argued over the largest of the plastic multi-colored building blocks Jocelyn had given Magnus and Alec, which Clary and Simon had played with when they were kids. There was a ‘CF + SL forever’ scribbled on one of them, which at one-point Jace would have loathed and felt intensely jealous of, but now merely smiled at in fond amusement.

How things had changed in the years since he’d left his father and the foreboding mansion in Idris to the welcoming shores of New York: Max. Alec. Isabelle. His mother. Robert. Simon. Magnus. Jem and Tessa. Ragnor. Emma and Julian. Rafe and Max. Kit.

And Clary. Always, always Clary. His one constant in the world, his home, where his heart would be forevermore.

He thought about the seven-year-old he’d been when his father had first told him that parabatai was weakness, emotions were to be hidden, love was destruction.

He’d run at risky missions and self-destructive behaviour and death in his teenage years like flies going to amber: so attractive a prospect that all intelligent thought was out.

He remembered telling Kit that however much he thought otherwise, he didn’t want to die. He remembered looking at that fragile, orphaned, sarcastic, scared, defensive child and feeling a pang of commiseration, of old memory and a person he wasn’t any longer.

“Uncle Jace?” Max tugged at him worriedly when he was silent for a while. “You okay?”

Jace pressed a kiss to his head, carefully avoiding his horns. He exchanged a look with Clary, who smiled softly at him. “Yeah, Max. I am.”