#anxiety gremlins

[jakeperalta]

the thing about me is that I will see my mutuals post about wanting to be friends with their mutuals and I'll be like "oh but they probably meant their other mutuals not you"

[dimetrodone]

Anxiety

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 109

I had just a moment ago for 15 minutes the most neurotic experience I’ve ever had and I’m fucking annoyed by it. I have in the past described this experience in relation to my anxiety. That is, I have enough detachment from my own anxiety that I recognize when I’m anxious and my thought processes are illogical, but not enough detachment to tell my anxiety gremlins to shut the fuck up.

So for context, my family is one of those families where your parents have the keys to your place and will randomly go in to help out even if you’re gone. I’m not the cleanest person ever, between my job, remembering my insurance, keeping clean clothes on my back and feeding myself. I'm sometimes amazed that I’m a somewhat functioning adult. Anyhow, today was one of those days.

My mother had come in and cleaned my place, which included reorganizing my medical supplies. Which at first wasn’t an issue, until we realized part way through the conversation that she took out the supplies that I was keeping in my laundry closet on the top shelf. Unbeknownst to my mother I had been growing a backup stash of medical supplies because I’ve had three backlogs this year alone which is unprecedented for me. So she had accidentally put together all of my supplies.

Now she was very apologetic about it, and told me I could take two of the boxes out of the cupboard she had put them in and put them back on the shelf. With the intention of the backup catheters staying in the cupboard. Because her logic was, I didn’t really use that cupboard, so therefore it’s not that accessible to me. Also, better not to keep supplies in the laundry closet where it could easily collect dust.

I was utterly cranky by this.

I didn’t let my mother know I was cranky about this, and lied saying it was fine, I would make the readjustments. But I was cranky, at least I thought it was cranky, because I already had a bit of a rough morning at work. So I thought this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back today.

But the more I thought about it, specifically the more I thought about just taking two boxes out and leaving everything where they were, the more cranky I got. In hindsight, it wasn’t that I was cranky, I was anxious as fuck. Even though I knew, my mother’s reasoning was sound (who the fuck wants dust on their medical supplies after all), it bothered me. Besides, I had reasoned, the plan was to eventually have enough backup supplies that it would equal the amount I would normally order in one go. The plan of taking out the backup supplies once new supplies were ordered with the intention of putting the new ones into the backup location in order to prevent degradation of the supplies.

It bothered me to the point that no matter how much I reasoned to myself that my mother’s request was sound and ideal even, I hated this plan. I didn’t calm the fuck back down until I rearranged it the way I wanted it. So my backup supplies are back in that high shelf, but I did get the two boxes meant for my use in the cupboard.

Because the reality is, I didn’t use that cupboard because it was not as accessible to me, I didn’t use that cupboard for stupid lazy reasons that are now moot because I can just shove boxes of catheters into that cupboard.

Though I will admit, I did think for the full 15 minutes, that I was just angry rather than anxious, but the need to have something the way you want it speaks to a lot of anxiety. Because once it was done, I calmed down. There was no lingering annoyance except for the annoyance I have at my own brain. I don’t feel any irritation or anger towards my mother for rearranging my stuff. I’m honestly more baffled why a part of me made such a goddamn big deal out of it.

Because at the end of the of the day, you can just rearrange your own shit.

[gremliinsart]

Sorry I think I'm so funny (I am)

[prankprincess123]

HC that after Twilight Princess whenever Zelda off handedly mentions that she's misplaced something while Link is nearby he instantly retrieves it. And at first she has an internal debate about 'is it because I'm royalty or does he like me...' Then she starts noticing that he does this to absolutely everyone, and simply concludes that he's just the best and sweetest guy in the kingdom. But then she realizes that he's completely oblivious to the fact that he does this so often. And it takes her a while to realize he's instinctively playing fetch with all sorts of random objects. It takes him even longer to realize that sometimes she 'forgets' something in the other room purely for her own amusement at the situation.

[sluggoonthestreet]

Maurice is caught between his two greatest fears: bees and brain freeze.

[krismations]

I finally watched it guys!!!

[zencooly]

[lemm-moxx]

Fanart for the @coolskeleton59 AU/askblog!

Also,

i really recommend checking out the ask blog/AU! It's insanely underrated considering the amount of time and effort put into everything and the whole thing is such a genuinely cool concept!

[neiptune]

hi miss v!! 🥺 i hope you're having a wonderful day/night <3 this event is rly cute 🥺..,, could i request "you could be the one that i keep" and sanemi? thank you.,, giving u a little smooch.., <3333

sanemi shinazugawa x you could be the one that I keep

“I honestly can’t believe you” Obanai is not put off by your scowl in the slightest, if anything he’s fighting back a smile.

“I remember mentioning the night out”

“You never mentioned drinks being on Tengen” you hiss and this time he does smirk.

“Not our fault your man can’t hold his liquor”

His words light a fire in your stomach and you feel blood rushing all the way to your cheeks.

“He’s not—”

“Yeah, yeah, not yet because both of you are goddamn idiots” his gaze suddenly shifts from your eyes to something behind you.

“Hey” the greeting is soft, he’s always softer when he’s drunk “finally decided to join us?” you know he only has a hand on your shoulder to balance himself and you’re certain his lips feel too close to the shell of your ear only because he’s doing a terrible job at not tripping over his own feet.

“I’m here to drive you home” well, it’s not like you’re being any better at playing off your self-consciousness as annoyance.

You expect protests, outrage, a little tantrum even, but all Sanemi does is huff through his nose and glare at Obanai.

“I told you I’m fine” he slightly sways and the grip on your shoulder tightens.

“Sure you are” his best friend clicks his tongue and flashes him a smile “we’re gonna leave too in a bit and there’s only so much space in Kyojuro’s car”

The lie is so blatant is offensive, really. Sober Sanemi would’ve kicked his ass.

“Fine” drunk him sleepily mumbles instead, before he puts his entire arm around your shoulders “take me home, then”

Such simple words have your insides churning. Glaring one final time at Obanai, you walk past him and towards the exit.

As you navigate the crowded bar, Sanemi barely registers the hollering coming from the table he was sitting at until you showed up, his friends yelling for you to join them. He stumbles slightly against you, far too distracted by the fruity scent of your hair and the arm you have secured around his waist.

The breeze outside is cool. He actually knows he’s long gone from the way he can feel the thumping of the music from the bar right inside his stomach, from how breathing suddenly takes more effort. Must be why he stumbles forward until he’s leaning up against your car as soon as he spots the familiar honda civic, a soft laugh escaping his lips when he opens his eyes and sees the way you’re looking at him.

“M’okay” he assures, flushed cheeks and pale eyes “I apologize for being a nuisance”

It’s just that I feel I could swim through the sidewalk right now so I need a moment, he mentally adds.

You giggle and Sanemi forces his eyes to focus because he doesn’t want blurry vision to keep him from witnessing the beautiful way your eyes crinkle.

“What?” he asks, mirroring your smile by muscle memory.

“Nothing” you shrug and the oversized coat you’re wearing almost swallows you whole “I like it when you’re drunk and talk like that”

“Like what?”

“All formal and solemn” you giddily grin underneath the streetlights and Sanemi rolls his eyes. It’s a mistake, because his stomach contracts from a pang of nausea right away. He feels dizzy and hates the fact that you’re there just as his designated driver, he hates that the alcohol currently buzzing through his veins has him already reaching the stage where he’s about to throw up. He wishes you would’ve showed up when he was still two drinks in, the thinking about you enough to just fucking kiss you if you were here stage.

“Come on, let’s go” he’s having a hard time standing without swaying so you inch forward to open the passenger side door and help him climb onto your leather seat. You feel the warmth radiating from his body as you buckle him in and Sanemi has to dig his nails into his palms to keep his hands from grabbing you by the waist.

It’s a quick drive to his apartment, he rents a place close to downtown. He’s spent the entire ride in silence, just looking at you and being quick to turn his attention to the dash whenever you’d glance at him to make sure he was still awake. Right as you park before his apartment complex, Sanemi rolls down his window and just rests his head against the seat, eyes closed.

“We’re here” your fingers lightly drum on the steering wheel. He knows it’s the middle of the night and you’re probably aching to go back to bed already, but he wants this moment to last just a bit longer. Your perfume smells too nice and your voice is too gentle for him to simply get out of the car and crawl back to his empty flat.

“Nemi?”

“Yeah. I won’t fall asleep, don’t worry. Can we just stay like this for a second?” he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know that you’re getting comfortable in your own seat. His heart swells with relief at your little sure.

“Wanna tell me how much you had to drink?” your tone is playful but he scoffs nonetheless, opening his eyes once more. To avoid looking at you, he pulls the latch of your glove box to the left to open it. Vehicle paperwork, receipts, $10 in quarters, a lipstick and…

“Can’t believe you kept this” he mumbles to himself as he takes the little keychain he’s bought for you at a fair so many years before, when you still barely knew each other and he already knew how big of a problem you were going to become.

“M’not like you, I keep everything” you smile.

Sanemi scoffs.

“I could keep you” he thinks to himself “you could be the one that I keep”

Thank god he wouldn’t dare speak those words out loud.

Or would he?

You let out a suffocated gasp.

[theenderdraco]

liking the anxiety character from inside out 2 while also having bad anxiety issues irl is so funny bc it’s just like. babygirl I love you but can you please keep your stupid little cheeto dust hands off my console for five FUCKING minutes I swear to GOD

[quadrantadvisor]

My TOH time travel au is like. The Collector never stopped the draining spell. Hunter escaped its influence by going to the Human Realm, but when they finally return, everyone else is gone. Goop Belos is at large, King never learned to get along with the Collector because he was busy grieving, The Boiling Isles are in chaos.

Some shit goes down, the group gets separated, and King ends up with Luz and Hunter. In a moment of final desperation, he connects with his dad, and they use their titan magic to send Hunter and Luz back in time, not in a predetermined time loop, like the time pools, but basically creating a new universe where they have the power to change things. It takes so much energy that to accomplish it, both titans have to give up their life force (a la Rise!TMNT movie).

Hunter and Luz are now a few months in the past. In their timeline, practically everyone they know died, and their little brother just gave his life to give them a second chance. They are traumatized and codependant and DESPERATE to stop the day of unity.

From everyone else's perspective, two masked criminals suddenly appeared in The Boiling Isles. They strike hard and fast, and no one knows what they look like or what they're trying to accomplish. They use stange magic no one's ever seen before, and the Emperor's Coven can't keep up with them.

One of their first criminal acts? Kidnapping the Golden Guard.

(They couldn't just leave him there.)

[gremlins-hotel]

After driving about 8-9 hours yesterday, man I had some thoughts.

Do you ever look at the names on the billboards and highway signs you pass by? The people of the small blink-and-you-miss towns that in the mind of a driver only seem to serve the purpose of breaking up the monotony of the road. Names that if you were to search them would most likely bring up no results except for an obituary and a grave marker. Who were they to those towns, who were they to their families and the people around them that wrote about them, what made them so beloved so as to rename the streets or have a sign made in their honor?

And as your tires eat away at the miles and the minutes do you ever gaze out at the roadside and wonder how it came to look that way? I can sit and know and tell myself that yes, Texas was once part of the seabed of the Western Interior Seaway, which split North America in two, and that is why we have so much limestone and why our elevation is so low. Why we have the Edwards Aquifer as we were molded into a bed of karst at the tail end of the Great Plains. But what specific current made it so that we were perfectly hilly as you reach the Edwards Plateau? And how goofy must we look as you go from the tall, straight pines and forests of the Eastern Woodlands to the yawning deserts several hours west, having to cross through every biome in between. What winds and rivers and floods and storms shaped my seabed home into the geographical crossroads that it now occupies?

Do you ever think too much on how that influenced the way people lived when they came to live in those places? In all of Texas’ rivers it brings the alluvial floodplains that would later feed crops, then commercial farms as the course of history took. The draws formed by rains and that were used to hunt bison that would also one day break hooves and ankles in the age of the cattle trails. Who knew mesquite had so many uses? And though so many of them lay still and dormant half the time, the fact that we have enough wind for people to sport the great twisting turbines in an effort to try and be green.

I know I’ve never gotten to really travel outside the United States but honestly I wonder how I could answer these same questions if I did. What would I find if I looked long and far? And even driving through my home country, they still stand. What of the ontogeny of the Appalachians? The windward caress of the Rockies that made the Pacific Northwest? The evidential meteor that may have influenced the Chesapeake?

[somebodysaidimpulsive]

hey shout out to the people with anxiety that can also be incredibly angry or spiteful on the inside but have a hard time ever putting those thoughts anywhere because of said anxiety and thus feel the need to bottle up those feelings forever. i get you. get a notebook and just go ham if you're ever feeling really spiteful or angry. or a word doc. hell, just keymash if you can't words it. it wont hurt you or anyone else. it doesnt mean you're any less valid. everyone gets angry sometimes. you're okay and so valid and i love you so much now go drink some water and eat a full meal if u haven't

[muselexum]

( waking up one morning after 18 months of hiatus and finally getting the spark™ to freshen up ur rp blog )

[speedyscribbles]

XDDCC