#anyway Sydney’s other parent

[unmerrymagdalene]

Actually you know what, I’m not gonna wait until the poll finishes because you cannot convince me that Sydney and Sirris have a fully good parental relationship-

This isn’t me saying their relationship is fully bad obvi! It’s clear that Sirris cares for Sydney and their well being, but like-

Sirris is openly sex positive to a debatably obsessive(?) intense degree. Sydney, at the start of the game, is not. Sydney works at the shop, despite the fact they’re openly embarrassed by everything. Sydney goes to the Temple routinely, while Sirris just drops them off and barely steps foot inside. Sirris does have some reservations about the Temple and hey, and it’s also the same place where their late partner/Sydney’s other parent was mainly at, which is a whole can of worms that is never overtly talked about.

They clearly love each other, but they (probably) do not talk about stuff beyond a surface level. They’re both treading on very thin ice. What the fuck is going on with them-

[fazcinatingblog]

More like IF I come back amirite, also stop making me feel guilty, also learn to spell (paralegal? Parallel? ...never mind doesn't parramatta), also like it's my fault she hires 53 accountants that can only do accounting and 1 admin person to send out the tax returns and invoices and

[fivefeetfangirl]

choosing exchange universities based on where the nearest spn con is

[meazalykov]

gold or silver

laura freigang x reader

summary: you say words you don't mean.

warnings: reader's mentality is.. harsh in the beginning. jealousy. bits of angst.

it's the 40th minute and you were frustrated.

as an attacking midfielder, it seemed like you were doing everything.

you were helping the offense with your creative chances, you were clearing goals to help with the defense, picking up any pieces that horan or coffey failed to receive.

your body was tired and your mindset started shift into playing aggressively, anyway that will help you win against the germans.

by now, you'd start your aggressiveness with any other team-- but the germans had something special with you.

having two german parents made you eligible to play for the german national team. you were born in the United States and were raised in the US for your entire life-- the decision to pick a national team was hard.

back in 2018 when the united states promised to put you on the 2019 World Cup roster, you accepted.

it didn't help that they were the best team in the world at that point.

it made it special that you played for bayern munich, a bavarian club. most of the german girls on the gerwnt were your bestest friends, you've considered them to be your non-biological sisters.

one of those non-biological sisters, sydney, introduced you to laura back in 2021.

the both of you hit it off, the chemistry was undeniable and you've been with the older girl for 3 years now.

mallory swanson shoots the ball towards the goal in the 44th minute but it deflects off of the goalpost, the ball lands on your foot and you shoot the ball-- only for it to launch into the crowd.

you yelled in frustration as sam reassures you that you'll get it next time-- again. this was your third huge opportunity of the night and you didn't make a single goal yet.

nobody did. its nil-nil.

when the referee blows the whistle for halftime, you groaned out in frustration. hearing this, trinity jogs by your side as you both head back to the dressing room.

sitting down by your locker in the dressing room, you cling onto the bottom of your red shorts and take a sip of water out of your gatorade bottle.

the entire dressing room was frustrated-- the many missed chances wasn't acceptable.

after emma came in the dressing room, surprisingly calm while talking about the switches in play, you look up to the ceiling in silence.

"hey y/n." sophia places her hand on your right knee. you look towards her and raised your eyebrow, signaling for her to talk to you.

"are you okay?" sophia asks with a light smile.

"not really, are you okay?" you ask back.

sophia shrugs her shoulders, "I've been better."

that response breaks a smile from you.

"I just want to help you guys score, or at least score myself, I hate this deadlock we are in." you speak, going to take another sip of your water bottle after.

"I'll score for you and the team in the second half, I promise." sophia says.

"but honestly, I thought that your bad mood might've been about playing against laura and your german friends." sophia continues.

"no-- not really." you place your water bottle down and bend down to fix your cleat laces.

"huh?" sophia says, surprised.

"I mean, I am determined to help us get a medal. I'm not letting a relationship get in the way of our dreams." you say.

"and I know laura thinks the same way. yes, I am a little scared that she will resent me if we win and she doesn't-- but if that is a huge problem for her, maybe we aren't meant to be." you continue.

sophia knits her eyebrows together as you finish tying your cleats.

"she wouldn't resent you. are you saying that you would have resent for her if germany wins tonight?" Sophia asks.

"no, because I'll make sure they wouldn't win." you say, standing up and jogging out of the dressing room.

in the 61st minute, you push down and block a huge chance coming from nicole-- your girlfriend's frankfurt teammate.

seeing her fall after her failed chance, you walk up to her and help her when you realize that she had a cramp in her leg.

laura is subbed on her nicole afterwards, which made you feel nervous.

seeing her come onto the field, your tough façade faded away at the sight of her. you couldn't play mean when it came to her-- she made you feel loved and soft.

you didn't think it, but subconsciously, you make a note to be aggressive towards every other player except for her-- unless you absolutely had to.

in the 72nd minute, laura gets the ball and nearly gets the goal against the united states. noticing the position between her and crystal dunn, you reached your hand up because she was offside.

when the ref called for it offside, laura walks closer to you frustrated.

something inside of you feels heartbroken when she walks by you without bothering to look at you-- or gives you a signal that she notices you.

did she hear your conversation with sophia? no way, the American locker rooms aren't near the german ones.

was it because you were the first to urge the referee to call off-side? maybe.

in the 94th minute, you ran the ball up the field and passed it to mallory.

mallory, seeing no free space thanks to feli and kathy, passes the ball back to you. as you get the ball and dribble around feli, you pass the ball over to sophia.

berger fails to grab the ball from sophia's feet as she shoots the ball into the undefended goal.

1-0.

you feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins as you dart towards sophia, who’s grinning like she’s just won the entire tournament. 

she practically tackles you in the celebration as you both crash to the ground, your teammates piling on top of you. 

the scoreboard flashes 1-0, and the realization hits you—you’re just minutes away from securing a spot in the gold medal match.

you finally stand up, breathless and exhilarated, giving sophia another congratulatory hug. you gave the assist and she got the goal.

she smiles at that thought, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she points at you and says, "i told you i’d score a goal for you."

"and it was perfect, soph!" you laugh, your heart swelling with pride and affection.

your voice carries your excitement, and for a moment, the world seems to pause around you, focusing only on the joy of the moment.

but then, out of the corner of your eye, as you’re jogging back into position, you catch sight of laura. 

she’s not far, standing near the center circle, her posture stiff, eyes fixed on you with a mix of confusion and something else—something you can’t quite place. 

her brows are knitted together, and she’s biting the inside of her cheek, a habit you know all too well. 

you feel a pang of guilt but push it down, focusing on the game at hand.

laura’s mind races as she replays your words in her head. "scoring a goal for you?" the phrase echoes, unsettling her. 

of course, she trusts you—she has to. but seeing you so close to sophia, hearing the way you cheered for her, stirs a gnawing insecurity within her.

she shakes her head, trying to rid herself of the thoughts. now’s not the time. there’s a game to win, and the germans are still in it—barely.

the game restarts, and you see laura moving with renewed determination. she’s pushing forward, trying to lead her team to an equalizer. every touch she makes on the ball is sharp, decisive, but there’s an edge to her play now, something almost desperate. 

you can’t help but feel a twist in your gut every time she gets close to the goal. she has to be stopped, even if she doesn’t want to be. 

in the 96th minute, laura receives the ball just outside the box. she fakes a shot, sending emily off balance before cutting inside. 

your heart skips a beat as you watch, silently praying she doesn’t score. it’s a terrible thought, but you can’t help it. the idea of seeing her disappointment if she misses, or the tension if she scores, is almost too much to bear.

laura shoots, the ball curling towards the far post, but it’s just inches wide. the ball goes into the crowd and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. the sight of laura with her hands on her head, staring at the missed opportunity, brings a lump to your throat.

when the final whistle blows, the stadium erupts in cheers for the USWNT, but your gaze is locked on laura. she’s sitting on the grass, staring at the ground. your feet move before you can think, crossing the pitch to her.

you should be celebrating with your team, but that's not your main concern. as much as you said it did in the locker room. 

“laura,” you whisper as you reach her, crouching down. 

laura looks up at you, her eyes tired and exhausted, and for a moment, the world falls away. it’s just you and her, and the weight of the game feels inconsequential compared to the heaviness between you.

“i’m sorry,” you say, knowing it’s not enough, but it’s all you have at the moment.

“it’s okay. you deserved the win.” laura shakes her head, managing a small, sad smile. her voice is soft, but there’s a crack in it that makes your chest tighten.

“it’s just a game, laur. we’re still us. and i believe that you guys will go and win bronze.” you reach out, gently brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

she nods, but her eyes tell a different story—a story of doubt, of worry, of wondering if the game really is just a game, or if it’s something more. something that could wedge itself between the both of you.

“i saw how you looked at sophia,” she admits, her voice barely audible. 

“what did she mean by ‘scoring for you’?”

you open your mouth to respond, but the words catch in your throat. how can you explain that it was just a friendly promise, a moment of celebration? that it means nothing compared to what you have with laura? you can see the doubt in her eyes, and it scares you.

“it was nothing, i swear,” you say, squeezing her hand. 

“sophia’s just… sophia. she’s engaged to michael and i do not have feelings for her outside of platonic ones. you’re the one i’m with, the one i love.”

laura takes a deep breath, nodding again, but you can tell the seed of doubt has been planted. 

the victory feels hollow now, and as you pull her into a hug, you can’t shake the feeling that this game has cost you something far more important than a spot in the gold medal match.

so much for what you said in the locker room at halftime. you’re terrified that you might’ve manifested something. 

you hold laura close, feeling the tension in her body as she tries to keep her emotions in check. 

the cheers and celebrations around you fade into the back of your mind, replaced by the sound of her uneven-- and tired--breathing. 

you hate this—the way the game has twisted something as pure as your love for each other into a source of tension.

“laur,” you murmur against her hair, trying to comfort her as you sit on the grass, 

“you’re the one i’m going to go home with after this all ends. none of this changes that.”

she pulls back slightly, her eyes searching yours, trying to find reassurance in your words. 

“but it does, doesn’t it? we’re always on different sides out here, and it feels like… i don’t know, like we’re not on the same team anymore– i mean we aren’t physically– but i mean with us.”

the vulnerability in her voice breaks your heart. you never wanted this—never wanted to be the reason she felt insecure or doubted what you have together. 

you cup her face gently, your thumb brushing away a tear that threatens to spill over.

“we’re always on the same team in this relationship,” you say firmly, hoping your conviction can bridge the gap that’s opened between you. 

“what happened on this field stays here. it’s just a game, but you and me? it exists everywhere else.”

laura looks down, her lips pressed into a thin line. “it’s hard to separate it sometimes, you know? watching you celebrate with her, hearing what you said echoing outside of the locker room at halftime… it hurt, y/n.”

the honesty in her words cuts deep, your heart drops and you feel a huge wave of guilt hit you. she heard what you said. 

you wish you could go back, change how you reacted, change what you said to sophia, change how you celebrated. but you can’t. all you can do is try to make it right now.

“i didn’t mean to say that.. or to hurt you,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. 

“sophia and i—we’re just friends. she was just trying to cheer me up, that’s all. i don’t think that you’ll hate me like I said in the locker– the emotions of this game were just–” you cut yourself off, finding no excuses. 

“you’re the one i care about, the one who matters to me.” you say with full sincerity. 

“I know that, but it’s hard when we’re out here, competing like this. i don’t want to feel like i’m fighting for you.” laura’s eyes soften, but there’s still a shadow of doubt lingering. 

the feeling of playing against you all of the time is starting to catch up to the german girl.

she's never been your teammate on the pitch, just an opponent or rival.

“you’re not,” you insist, your grip on her tightening as if you could physically hold her fears at bay. 

“you have all of me, laura. there’s no one else, and never will be.” you stare into her eyes. 

she nods slowly, taking in your words, and you can see the conflict in her eyes begin to ease, if only slightly. 

“i want to believe that,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “but this… it’s just hard.”

you pull her into another hug, wanting to shield her from the pain, to show her that nothing has changed between you. 

“i love you, laur,” you say, the words a promise as much as a declaration. 

“we’ll get through this, together. when you win that bronze medal, i promise i’ll be there to celebrate with you.”

laura lets out a shaky breath, her arms wrapping around you tightly. “i love you too,” she murmurs against your shoulder. 

“i just… i don’t want to lose you and three years of us to this– to a football match if anything.”

“you won’t,” you assure her, pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes. 

“we’ll figure it out. we always do.” you say. this is true, you guys have solved small disagreements before and have made compromises. 

a small, fragile smile forms on her lips. not caring about any cameras or teammates that could see it– you lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

the sound of your teammate, sam, calling your name pulls you back to the present. you know you have to go, to join them in celebrating the victory, but you’re reluctant to leave laura’s side. 

you’d stay by her side forever if you could. ninety minutes of rivalry exhausted you. 

laura notices your look at sam and gives you a small nod.

“go,” she says, her voice steadier now. “you deserve to celebrate. i’ll be okay.”

“are you sure?” you hesitate, searching her face for any lingering doubts. 

“i’m sure. we will talk more later back home, okay?” she smiles, a bit more convincingly this time.

you nod, pressing one last kiss to her lips before standing up.

the joy of the journey towards gold feels muted, but as you jog back to your team, you glance over your shoulder at laura. 

she’s watching you, and there’s a small smile on her face, one that tells you she’s trying to be okay..

as you rejoin your teammates, the cheers and laughter envelop you, but your mind is still on laura. 

the victory with your national teammates is bittersweet, a reminder of the delicate balance you have to maintain between your love and your rivalry when playing on the national level– even club level since you play for bayern and she plays for frankfurt.

but you’re determined to make it work, to ensure that no game, no matter how important, comes between you and the woman you love.

you’re determined to show laura that she’s the most important part of your life—on and off the field.

well, after you win that gold medal for your team. 

my master list is here if you want to read more fics <3

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable Part 3-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: AAAH, thank you for all the support on this. I didn't think it'd be a series but I can't stop writing.

Warnings: toxic parents, body shaming, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and swearing

Words: 7.7k

Series Masterlist

 “…and that’s how I knew that I was meant to do charity work,” the nasal redhead concluded.

That afternoon, the Si Chi house was packed with pledges in floral or puffy Selkie and Miss Selfridge sun dresses. A handful of servers circulated the foyer with trays of orange juice and mimosas. The combination of Prada Candy and Viktor Rolfe Flowerbomb made my head spin but I smiled through it as I nodded at different pledges’ stories. All of them were desperately trying to toe the line between interesting and bragging because one could never act too important for a potential house.

“That’s great news,” I glanced at her name tag, “Brenda since Si Chi regularly engages in philanthropic work.”

 Brenda smiled widely, making the hot pink blush on her cheeks even more prominent. “I know, that’s why I’m so interested in joining this---your house.”

“Well, we are glad that you took the time to visit us. Would you excuse me?”

As I weaved my way through the foyer, I plucked a mimosa from a passing server and started sipping. Exactly five seconds passed until I was surrounded by a new crop of bright-eyed freshmen.

“Oh my gosh, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a willowy brunette asked.

“Guilty, and you are?”

“She’s Justine,” a shorter brunette interrupted.

Justine narrowed her eyes and thinly covered the glare with a smile. “I can introduce myself, thanks, Renee.”

Renee shrunk a little in her oversized light blue sundress and I glanced at Justine.

“So, why are you interested in our house?” I asked.

Justine straightened up and smiled like a pageant girl. “Well, I’m perfectly aligned with all the values of Si Chi: Sisterhood, respect, and intelligence. I am all about women empowerment and I respect people from all backgrounds----I’m exposed to a bunch of different people as an actress, anyway.”

“What about intelligence?”

“Well, I think there’s many different kinds of intelligence and, as an actress, I’m emotionally intelligent to the point where I’m exhausted by everyone else’s energy.”

“She really has to prioritize self-care,” Renee added.

“It’s great that you’re aware of that for yourself.”

She had to be one of the least self-aware people I ever encountered and that was a difficult fete. However, her socials had decent numbers and she had been in a few Vought Plus movies, which would help her win Sydney and Lydia, the vice president, over. The next two years with her and her friend would be irritating.

A softer expression slipped across Justine’s face, and she took a step towards me. “I just want to say that I think it’s so brave that you’ve been participating in all the rush events despite your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Luke,” she paused and placed a hand on her chest, “kill himself.”

Though it had been a week since, it still felt like a bomb rolled off Justine’s tongue when she said it. The wave of emotions that I experienced in that time was hard to describe; Shetty said that grief was a rollercoaster, and the influx of emotions was normal.

“As impossible as it may seem, one day you will come to accept what happened,” she’d advised. “You may experience more anxiety but, with your network, I am sure you will be able to cope.”

The network she referred to was strained at best and destroyed at worst. My “sisters” were as supportive as they could be: Alina gave me a Lush self-care kit, Sasha was not nearly as antagonizing as usual, Lydia gave me grief book recommendations, and Sydney let me pick what workout classes we attended. Emma and Cate were the only non-Si Chi people I spoke to since it was way too difficult to speak to the others.

Justine placed her hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can count on me.”

“Thank you for the thought,” I replied, smiling tightly.

“You must be so grateful that Marie was there to stop him,” Renee quipped.

I sipped some more juice to keep the confusing feelings from bubbling up. Nothing could have prepared me for Marie and Andre being propped as the Guardians of Godolkin, which was arguably the dumbest name Vought could give them. The less I wanted to see them, the more I saw their promos and videos. It was horrible that the last time we spoke we had a fight but every time I saw her, I felt a weird wrench in my chest.

At the very least, Emma seemed happy for her.

Then, Coco Allen, a Si Chi junior, appeared from the crowd and squeezed between the freshmen. “There you are, Y/N, I have a crim freshman with a water manipulation ability who wants to pick your brain.”

“Sure. Will you excuse me?”

“Bye!” Renee called as Coco pulled me through the crowd.

When we got to the less populated living room, I exhaled a breath I did not know I was holding. Then, I turned to the beaming Coco.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You know I hate entitled freshmen,” Coco mused.

Coco was the only other black girl in Si Chi and happened to be the first one to talk to me when I visited the house last year. She was a little shorter than me with deep mahogany skin that always glowed. She always wore her waist-length jet-black hair in tight curls and accessorized solely with gold jewelry. That day, she wore a fitted white sundress with espadrilles.

“Were there this many last year?” I asked.

Coco shook her head. “But there are a few more black girls so it’s promising.”

“That’s great! I hope I can find them before the event’s over.”

“That would be great.” Coco eyed me. “So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, the mimosas don’t hurt though.”

“They never do. You didn’t have to come today, you know, you could have taken more time, get out of here for a minute.”

I shook my head. “I needed this, it’s a nice distraction or, it has been. Besides, what would it look like if the secretary didn’t attend?”

Coco nodded slowly but I could tell that the gears in her head were turning too much for her to be convinced. “You’re already Sydney and Lydia’s favorite and they might have let it slide.”

I cocked my head at her and she immediately started chuckling half-heartedly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The hoops they make us jump through are ridiculous,” Coco reflected.

“It makes sense why you didn’t want to be an officer even though you’re poli sci,” I commented.

Coco grinned. “Hey, I’m making decent connections just by being in this house. This is just a steppingstone on my path to become the first black woman supe president.”

Even though the title was long, if anyone could do it, it was Coco. One time last year I sat in on one of her debates in class and she had a senior in tears and their debate partner ready to put their laser eyes to good use.

“Well, don’t forget little ole me when you’re a big shot,” I teased.

Coco frowned. “What do you mean ‘little’? You have done too much to talk like that.”

I shrugged. “Not that they’re not as important but my four-year plan is less impressive than yours.”

“Oh yeah, the plan where you basically end up a trophy wife? No shade but, I think you’d be way too bored in that role.”

“Hey, I would have a city contract too. Plus, it’s what I want and what I see for myself every time I look into the future. Every step I have taken up until this point puts me closer to that.”

My voice was much stronger than I thought it would be but Coco was always pushing me. Some days it was motivating and on others, it was infuriating.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or your plan but is that really all you want for yourself? Especially thinking about all the good you’re already doing with your powers?” Coco questioned.

Her words plagued me for the rest of the event and bugged me when we gave our ratings of the pledges to Sydney and Lydia.

“Oh, and Y/N, don’t forget to send me that compilation with all the pledges’ socials,” Sydney requested as I was on my way out of the foyer.

“Of course, you’ll have it by the end of the day.”

Everything was much quieter underwater, except for my thoughts, but those were much clearer. Every time I thought about where I would be in five years, it was the same: smiling at a city event on the arm of some suit. I never saw the man’s face but I knew he had to be somewhat attractive. My eyes fluttered closed at the bottom of the pool and I focused on my future.

It was the same image, complete with flashing cameras and I was wearing a gorgeous rose pink Oscar de la Renta gown. My hair was piled on top of my head in Senegalese twists, and I was smiling widely. However, when I tried to look at whose arm I was on, it was like I could not turn my head. The harder I tried, the sorer the side of my neck got.

After a few more seconds of trying, I pushed myself up to the surface and sucked in the air. The sky was a mix of orange, purple, and blue. Sydney was blasting “My Head, My Heart”, which signaled that she was getting ready to go out with Eric Landon, the president of Sigma Kappa. It would be nice to be asked on a date, a proper one without the expectations of sex later.

My face warmed at the fact that I had never actually been asked out. People constantly told me how good looking I was but that did not translate into boys falling all over themselves for me. There were the occasional fun nights out but it would always end in that same venue. I didn’t think I asked for too much: flowers, good morning and good night texts, respect, intelligence, and ambition. Emma told me I watched too many movies once and while that could have been true, I also thought that it wasn’t too much to ask a guy to hold a door open.

It also did not help that Jordan was the last person I ever got close to being intimate with. I groaned at the thought and dove underwater, making my way to the other side of the pool.

An almost-kiss should mean absolutely nothing but I could not stop thinking about it, just like I could not stop thinking about how Jordan would throw me under the bus to save themselves. I would never do that to anyone, especially not someone I cared about.

But you already did, the voice in my head hissed.

Marie didn’t count, I didn’t mean to do that; Andre, Luke, Cate, and Jordan decided for me. I would have stayed if it was my choice but that didn’t matter to Marie or any of them.

I pushed myself from the side of the pool and butterfly stroked my way to the other side. Thankfully, the water was heated and soothed my aching muscles. As I was about to resurface, I noted a blurry tall blonde figure standing above me. When I pushed up, Cate stood over me, her eyes worried.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

A few seconds later, I was wrapped in a fluffy towel and standing across from Cate. Her eyes shifted around for a moment before she suggested we headed inside. When we got to my room, she immediately closed the door behind us.

“Is there any way someone would have listening devices in here?” Cate asked.

“No,” I said slowly.

“Are you sure? There’s shit out now where they put it in the tiniest crevices and you would never know,” Cate argued.

“I would have seen it or had a hint about it. What’s going on?”

Cate finally sat on my bed, and I opted to stand across from her. “Andre and I found some stuff that makes Luke and Brink’s deaths way more complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for one thing, they totally cleared out his room the day after he died and I mean everything.”

My eyes widened. “Even the…special drawer?”

“Yes, and at first, I thought it was protocol but what would they do with all those----”

“I get it, Cate, what else did you and Andre find?”

As Cate continued to speak, I could feel my stomach sink further and further, until I was sure it was somewhere in the house basement. Nothing Cate said meant anything positive for anyone. If there was some kind of lab under us, that meant anyone could become a part of it.

“Have you told anyone else?” I asked.

Cate huffed and leaned back on my bed. “Well, Jordan’s been spiraling about Marie and the rankings, so I can’t get a word in about anything else.”

“They’re spiraling?” I asked.

“You haven’t talked to them since Luke died?” Cate asked.

When she said it like that, it sounded like I committed a cardinal sin. After that day, there was nothing else for me to say to them. Even though I saw them in class occasionally, I never spoke to them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“They could have reached out too,” I muttered.

“You’re such a younger sibling,” Cate commented.

“It’s true!” I whined.

“Well, they’ve been freaking out about the rankings since they fell down to number five and Andre’s number one.”

Being in the Top Five was like Jordan’s lifeline. They’d always shared a friendly rivalry with Luke but I knew they wanted to be number one eventually. They spent almost all their time making sure they stayed in a high position and to drop to bottom of the Top Five must have been devastating.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“Yeah, and your new best friend cracked the Top 100 and is Jordan’s new nemesis,” Cate added.

 I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a chocolate brown loungewear set. “Neither of them are my friends.”

Cate frowned. “Seriously, what is going on with you? The other night, you and Marie were inseparable, and you and Jordan were bantering. What happened?”

It must have been the fact that I was holding all my thoughts and feelings in because I burst.

“Marie and I can’t be friends since she thinks I’m a shallow bitch who would sacrifice her to save myself because I hang out with people who do. The funny part is that Jordan admitted they would backstab me if they could get ahead, which is definitely not something I would do to a friend or anyone I almost kissed!”

I was panting by the end and my chest felt a lot lighter. However, my nerves began to build when I noticed Cate’s mischievous grin.

“Who did you almost kiss?” Cate asked.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

Cate stared at me for a second before lighting up. “It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You hesitated which means I’m right. It could have easily been Marie though since you were all over her.”

“Why do people keep saying that? I was being nice!”

Cate held up her hands in a relaxed defense. “Chill, Y/N, it’s okay to like more than one person at once.”

“I don’t like either of them.”

“At all?” Cate quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” I pouted.

Cate looked unimpressed and I felt even more unimpressed since I knew that I liked Marie and Jordan platonically.

“Okay, we’ll save that for later but, I don’t think Jordan would tell you that they would backstab you and they would not think about it. They would do it to other people, but not you.”

“You’re just saying that because they’re your friend and you weren’t there.”

Cate cocked her head to the side. “Think, Y/N, did Jordan really say, ‘I would backstab you if it would save my ass’?”

As I recalled the memory, I slowly rocked back and forth on my heels. “They didn’t say that but, they didn’t answer me when I asked if they would.” “You probably caught them off guard,” Cate reasoned. “I’m sure if you talked to them, things would go okay.”

I hesitated and set my clothes on my bed. “Let’s say that I decided to speak to them, I don’t know what to say. Even if I did, my class tomorrow isn’t with them.

“You’re not going to the Think Brink gala tomorrow night?” Cate asked.

Earlier that day, Mom mentioned something about a gala on the phone but I was only half-listening. In my defense, there was only so much complaining about her clients and Dad that I could stand. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and “Go to Brink gala” was in bright letters on my calendar.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Then, you have some time to figure it out. You might get lucky and not even have to say anything.” I nodded and messed with the charm on my phone. “But what about Marie?”

“You’ll figure that out too. Indira’s taking her to the gala so, you can get both your ‘friends’ back,” Cate said, putting “friends” in air quotes.

“Why did you do it like that? Don’t say it like that.”

“Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean I am. Think about it, would you be this freaked out if we had a fight?”

The “yes” should have come immediately but it didn’t; it died in my throat, and I couldn’t look at Cate. Why were things different with Marie and Jordan? Why did I stress out about them when I tried to stop thinking about them?

“Can you just make me say the right thing?” I asked.

Cate mulled it over for a moment. “I think it’s best if you do it yourself. If you don’t have a vision about it, something will come to you.”

“Thanks, Cate. If you and Andre need any help snooping----”

“You will be the first person I text,” Cate assured.

“I was going to say that I’ll probably know before you.”

I narrowly avoided the pillow Cate tossed at me and laughed at her effort.

“Maybe you are getting a little too cocky, Y/N.” She stood and walked over to me. “And for the record, I would never betray you in any way, neither would Andre or Jordan. If either of them did, they would have to deal with me.”

“Thanks, I would hug you but I’m still soaking wet.”

“Yeah, that’s smart. I know this might be useless but try not to worry about everything.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

“You’re taking the meds from Indira?”

“Yes, Mom,” I teased.

“Just trying to help.”

Strangely, that was the first night since Luke’s death that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The trend was that I would strain myself to have premonitions until I was exhausted and tried again in the morning. For once, sleep found me quickly.

After sitting through a two-hour lecture on trauma’s impact on villains and heroes, I was more than happy to wander back to the Si Chi house and decompress. In a few hours, Talia, Mom’s assistant, would arrive with options for the gala. Then, the glam team would arrive and do their best to ignore Mom while they did their jobs.

I needed all the relaxation I could get.

 As I was mentally reviewing which movies I could watch, my phone kept buzzing in my back pocket. I thought it was another flurry of comments on the TikTok Coco and I made yesterday but it was from a strange number.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Y/N, pls come 2 my dorm, it’s an emergency.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Im srry we haven’t talked in a while but it’s important.

I frowned and typed back, ????

XXX-XXX-XXXX: It’s Marie. Emma’s in trouble.

My stomach dropped and I replied, B there soon.

As I raced around other people on campus, my thoughts moved faster at the possibility of what could have been going on with Emma. The last time I had spoken to her was two days ago and she was okay then. If anything, she may have been tense because Marie and I were not speaking but she had not said anything else.

I was halfway to their dorm when I ran into something solid.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Maverick sneered.

“If you put on some clothes, maybe I’d see you,” I shot back as I continued down the hall.

When I finally got to their dorm, I was panting and could barely knock. Marie pulled the door open, pulled me in, and closed the door behind me.

“Did you sprint here?” she asked.

I nodded. “You said…it was…an….emergency…Emma.”

In the middle of me grabbing my bearings, I noticed something tiny next to one of the supports on Emma’s bed. Slowly, I slid to my knees and crawled over to it. When I realized who it was, a choked gasp escaped my mouth.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. She was like that when I got here and I didn’t know what to do so I called you since you’ve known her the longest,” Marie rambled.

Her words barely registered in my brain as I went to one of Emma’s drawers, grabbed a small set of clothes, wrapped her in it, and carefully set her on her bed. Emma was barely breathing and was ghostly pale.

“Emma, I know you’re probably not going to like this but, you’re going to need to eat something.”

She didn’t reply and for a second, I wondered if she could.

I started rifling through all her stuff until I found a box of crackers. My hands trembled as I broke them into small pieces and kneeled in front of Emma. She never looked at me as she nibbled on each crumb I fed her.

Eventually, she grew back to her normal size. As soon as she was, she pulled her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she muttered.

Slowly, I sat next to her and it was almost the same way zookeepers treated wild animals. If one moved calmly enough, they would not get attacked. Marie sat on her bed.

“It’s okay, I’m glad we were able to help,” I replied. “What happened?”

Emma sniffed. “I opened up to this girl in my class. We’re scene partners for a project and we were talking, and I guess I felt comfortable enough to tell her about how I get small. I thought it was just between us, but she posted this…this video on YouTube telling the whole world about it.”

“Who’s the girl?” Marie asked.

“How do you get small?” I uttered at the same time.

Emma froze for a moment and looked away from me. “I make myself…sick.”

When she said it, I suddenly remembered all those times she would go to the bathroom and then come out a miniature version of herself. However, all those times, it was for different commercials or other work-related events. Then again, there had to be times when she did it at home or at my house.

How did I never notice? “Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” I said.

Emma turned to me with a glare in her eyes. “Really? How would I work that into a conversation? ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I make myself throw up to get small’?”.

“We’re friends, friends tell each other this kind of thing,” I insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Please, like you would get it if I told you. You’re perfect, you always have been. Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your life!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Emma, I think you need to get help,” Marie interrupted.

Emma’s gaze flickered to hers and I thought she might set Marie on fire. “I need to get help, that’s rich coming from you. You act like no one can see your scars.”

Marie flinched and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I do that for my powers, that’s different.”

Emma laughed callously. “Please, at least be honest. How about this: I’ll go to therapy when you admit to cutting.”

Emma’s voice had no tone and every word she said was like a hammer slamming into my chest. She wasn’t in the right headspace for any conversation and I kept reminding myself as I stood.

“We should talk later when we’ve all calmed down,” I suggested.

“I don’t want to speak to either of you again,” she hissed.

It took more effort than usual to swallow the lump in my throat as I let myself out of their dorm. Just as I was about to lean against the door and wallow, Marie slipped out behind me and shut the door. I took a step back, barely avoiding a pair of girls rushing past.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s fine.”

Silence filled the space for a moment, and I had no idea how to fill it. Cate said I would know what to say but I was at a loss.

“I’m sorry about what I said…that day,” Marie delivered gently.

My eyes snapped up at her. “Oh.”

She sighed. “I was just angry, and I thought you were a part of it but, Emma kept saying that you would never do something like that. I just didn’t know how to reach out or say anything.”

I know the feeling.

“I accept your apology but I’m also sorry that no one came back for you. I guess it worked out, though?”

Marie sighed and leaned against her door. “Sort of. The perks are nice and I’m in crim now but I feel like everyone’s looking at me and expects something from me; almost like they’re waiting for me to fail.”

“Really? They had me convinced you’d be the black Starlight,” I teased.

Marie laughed half-heartedly. “I still want to be a hero, though, someone like her people can look up to.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Marie hesitated. “My little sister. We were both obsessed with heroes when we were younger, but I was the one who got Compound V. She always looked up to me and I want to be someone who would make her proud.”

“That’s a really admirable goal,” I complimented.

She smiled softly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be my competition to be the black Starlight?”

My expression faltered and I looked down at my French acrylics. “No, I don’t think I have the showmanship you do. Besides, my goal isn’t to be in the Seven.”

“Really? What do you want to do?” Marie asked.

“So, I have this four year plan and if I follow the steps I am on to a T, I will graduate with a city contract and be engaged to an eligible supe.”

Usually, when I told someone my four year plan, my chest swelled and my shoulders rolled back unconsciously. This time, it felt like I was a toddler showing my mom a drawing I made in school.

“Is that it?” Marie asked.

“I know it’s more traditional and maybe even a little lame but, it’s what I want,” I maintained.

Marie nodded slowly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just imagined you doing something in, like, criminal AI or stopping criminals from re-offending.”

“Both are great, they’re just not me.”

“Which is fine,” Marie insisted.

She sounded a little too eager but I let it go as we started walking down the hallway.

“What should we do about Emma?” Marie asked.

“I’ve never seen her like that before but she’ll need time to cool off.”

“Sounds good, I just have nowhere to go until the gala tonight.”

“You could come to Si Chi for a bit. I can’t promise they won’t try to initiate you, though.”

Marie laughed. “Me, in a sorority?”

“Hey, we’re getting more black girls this year so you never know!”

“Whatever but, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you…at your house.”

Even though Marie rushed the last part, a smile quirked on the corners of my mouth. It would be nice to have a new friend over and it was even nicer that there was no more tension between us.

“You know, Emma never told us the name of that girl,” Marie pondered once we got outside.

“Oh, that’s easy.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the right one.

Shelby answered on the first ring. “Y/N, hi!” “Hey, are you on your way to class?” I asked.

“Yeah, if I’m late one more time, Professor Elix is going to make me do an improv one-woman show!” she panted.

“Well, I don’t want to slow you down but, you have class with Emma Meyer, right?”

“Oh yeah, Intro to Stage, why?”

“Cool. She told me her stage partner has an incredible Insta aesthetic, but she never told me her name and I need new inspo.”

“Oh, that’s Justine. I don’t know her last name but I’m sure you’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Shelby. Have fun in class.”

“Thanks!”

I hung up and turned to Marie, whose eyebrows were raised. “What?”

“What was that voice?” Marie asked.

“It was my voice. Haven’t you heard of code-switching?”

“Fine. Did you get the name?”

“Yes, Justine and I’ve met her.”

“What? How?”

“She’s rushing Si Chi.” I couldn’t keep the devilish smile from working its way into my mouth.

“What does that look mean?” Marie asked.

“It means that there are many more perks to being in a top house besides living in it.”

For some reason, everyone thinks that white girls have a monopoly on passive aggression and relational aggression. That was not the case at all; black girls simply are more inclined towards active aggression but we’re capable of both. I proved as much during Brink’s gala.

The ballroom was packed with board members, trustees, alumni, and the wealthiest GOD U students, the latter being my target of interest. They were all easy to approach since I had met them at some function or another.

“Y/N,” Bianca Peterson gushed as she hugged me.

Her Gucci Guilty perfume tickled my nose and I willed myself not to sneeze as I politely pulled away from her. “Bianca, it’s been too long. I think the last time I saw you was at Beta Ro’s Brunch for Boy Scouts.”

Bianca nodded, light auburn curls bouncing around her sculpted features. “Yes, we bonded over jewelry.”

“And you still have fantastic taste,” I mentioned, gesturing to the gold buckle around her wrist.

“Thank you, it was a present from Theo but I gave him a few hints,” she bragged lightly.

“How is rush going?” I asked.

“Pretty well, our pledges are shaping up nicely this year, not that they don’t every year,” she quickly added the last part.

“Of course. Do you have a lot of girls from Counting?”

“We’re interested in a couple, why? Are you trying to poach?”

I shook my head. “Not at all, I just wasn’t sure if you heard what Layla from Zeta Nu discovered.”

Bianca raised a microbladed brow. “No, I don’t think I have.”

I took a deep inhale and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, well, I should let it come from her then.”

A moment later, Bianca glanced across the room at Layla Ruthers, the president of Zeta Nu, who was smiling politely at a pair of hunched-over old men.

“In case I don’t have a chance to talk to her, what happened?” Bianca asked.

I glanced around us for a moment before leaning closer. “Apparently, a freshman posted a video about another girl’s eating disorder.”

“Really?” Bianca’s eyes widened.

I nodded. “Layla was insulted for the other girl and banned the pledge from rushing Zeta Nu. She even said that no respectable house would accept someone so low-class.”

“Oh,” Bianca uttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I should go mingle.”

I made it about two steps before Bianca gently grabbed one of my arms.

“Wait, Y/N. Did Layla say the name of the pledge?”

My eyes wandered around the twinkling lights of the room for a second. “Justine something, I think.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure!”

The rest of my conversations followed that pattern. Each girl I spoke to was shocked and horrified by my words. Plus, none of them would dare speak to the other; that would mean another house had better information than them. My final target was easily the most important one: Sydney.

In her ice-blue mermaid dress and intricate updo, she looked more like Cinderella than a gala attendee. She was standing at a table, nodding her head at something a shorter guy was saying.

“Excuse me,” I politely interrupted, “I need to borrow Sydney for a second.”

The guy deflated slightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Sydney huffed a sigh of relief as soon as we were out of earshot. “Thank you, I don’t know what he was even talking about.”

“Anytime,” I replied.

She snatched a champagne flute from a passing server and downed half of it. “I can’t wait for this night to be over.”

I nodded. “It is morbid despite their attempt to dress it up.”

“Yeah, and my parents won’t stop bugging me about my future. I can only apply to so many internships and not everyone is looking for a telekinetic,” she griped. “Sorry, how are you?”

“I’m alright. Ironically, I think he’d hate the name they picked but I didn’t know him super well,” I admitted.

“Right.”

Here it goes.

“So, I think the event the other day was a success,” I commented.

“Definitely. The house was packed. It’s too bad we can’t accept them all.”

Sydney smiled as she spoke.

“I know. It’s great that there’s so much interest.” I paused for a second. “But, I wanted to tell you that something came up with one of the pledges.”

Sydney gestured for me to continue.

“Even though my social media deep dive on the pledges was thorough, something came up today that I thought you should know when considering the pledges,” I explained.

“Okay.”

“Today, Justine posted a video exposing another girl’s eating disorder. Several of the girls were upset when they saw it.”

“That’s awful,” Sydney responded.

“It’s also so disappointing since I met Justine during that event, and she was saying how women empowerment is important to her. I know that women empowerment is a huge passion for you and a foundation for Si Chi and to imagine a pledge so willing to tear down another woman infiltrating the safe space you building is horrifying.”

Despite the liquor, I could tell Sydney was processing my words quicker than any computer. Her expression shifted from shock to anger to coldness. Then, she finished the last of her champagne and set it on the table closest to us. “Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, I grinned widely at the response. Bid Day was going to be even more fun and interesting than last year. To celebrate, I grabbed myself a flute of champagne and sipped it as I started to wander the room.

“Y/N!”

My body froze at the masculine voice and my mind raced with what to say or do. Finally, I decided to face Jordan. They were in their masculine form and standing at a table by themselves. Though they looked fantastic in their navy suit, they looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Hello.”

I practically sang it and prayed for someone to make the floor swallow me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um, sure.” I walked closer to their table and rested my forearms on it.

 “It’s good to see you,” he started. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“You too.”

Jordan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s good.” He paused. “I’m sorry about everything.”

I looked up from tapping my nails on the tablecloth. “Wh---”

“Please, let me finish. That day…I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you that I wouldn’t throw you under the bus but I wouldn’t even think about it. How could I do that to my little freshman?”

For the first time ever, my chest warmed at the nickname. However, I tried to bite back the smile that was worming its way onto my face.

I glanced away for a moment, crossing my arms over my purple sleeveless satin gown. “Well, I guess I forgive you,” I playfully grumbled before turning back to him. “But you still did it pretty easily to Marie.”

Jordan’s expression faltered and he sipped some champagne. “Don’t mention her.”

“Why not? She’s my friend and we did a very mean thing,” I argued.

“Look, I protected myself and you that night, I won’t apologize for that. Besides, she’s still here and she’s doing great,” he spat.

“I know you’re pissed about the rankings but, those can change, especially with how hard you work and how powerful you are.”

Jordan scoffed. “That’s how it should work but no one wants to back a bigender Asian.”

His words made me stop for a second. In all the time I knew them, Jordan seemed invincible to punches, laser beams, electric shocks, and words. They made succeeding at Godolkin look so easy but it must have been anything but. Plus, Luke and Brink’s death must have impacted everything else.

“We’ll see about that,” I challenged. “There’s about thirty trustees and every board member in this room. There will have to be a few who will like you.”

Jordan hesitated. “I’m not really in the mood to promote myself.”

“Then let me talk,” I offered.

He eyed me for a while before crossing over to my side of the table and looping one of his arms with mine. “Don’t make me look bad, freshie.”

“I think that’s impossible.”

The first target was easy: a thirtysomething white guy with floppy light brown hair and an oversized gray suit. I focused on him for a moment, gathering as much information as I could.

“Trevor Emerson, GOD U alum and old money beneficiary,” I muttered to Jordan.

“Isn’t he supposed to hate me?” Jordan hissed back.

“He’s overcome by white guilt since his recent discovery that all the black and brown people who built and managed his family’s manor were not salaried employees,” I explained. “He’s dying to look as much of an ally as possible.”

Jordan straightened up. “Good job, freshie.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” I painted a polite smile on my face. “Mr. Emerson, it’s so nice to meet you, can we bother you for a moment?”

Two guilty and three haughty donors later, Jordan and I found ourselves at a different table. It was the first time that I saw him smile that night.

“You were amazing out there,” Jordan exclaimed.

“Thank you but you also made my job a little easier being talented and whatever,” I joked.

“Seriously.” Jordan grabbed my hand. “You might have saved my ass.”

I tried to ignore the tingle that shot up from my hand into the side of my neck. “It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

When they announced that the video was about to start Jordan sulked again. “I can’t believe they’re making us sit through this shit.”

“Me neither.” I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner but, are you okay?”

Jordan laughed humorlessly. “No but schmoozing with you did help a little. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

When we parted our separate ways, I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress skirt and approached my table. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had not burned down the ballroom with their arguing. In fact, when I got to their table, Mom was on her phone and Dad was rhythmically tapping his fingers against the tablecloth, looking anywhere but her.

“Hi, were you bored with me gone?” I asked, giving Dad a side hug.

“Not at all. I met a few board members and sold a few pictures,” he responded.

I nodded and slowly took the middle seat between them. The video was equal parts patronizing and infuriating. However, my parents’ whispers kept me from focusing too much on the video.

“Y/M/N, can you get off the phone for one second? They’re playing the video,” Dad hissed.

“I am about to cut the biggest deal of this quarter. They can send it,” Mom hissed back, waving a manicured hand for emphasis.

“Mom, people are starting to stare,” I quietly interjected.

“Let them stare. This is what’s paying for you to be here.”

“Don’t act like I don’t contribute!” Their words used to make me flinch but I forced myself to sit up straighter and breathe.

“I’m grateful for it, for both of you, really. You both paid to be here and I thought you would not want to miss the man they’re honoring,” I whispered.

Those words made Mom slowly mutter something into the phone before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward. At that same time, they flashed a picture of Brink and me across the screen. He had been meeting with my small group when the photographer appeared.

Dad squeezed an arm around my shoulder and I softly leaned into his touch.

“Thank God you lost that baby fat,” Mom commented.

“Y/M/N,” Dad said quietly.

“You know it’s true, Y/D/N,” Mom hissed back.

Suddenly, Dad’s arm felt like a boa constrictor, and I gracefully slipped out of its grasp. When the video ended, I drank a fresh flute of champagne. The bubbles instantly went to my head as I giggled at Dean Shetty introducing Marie.

She looked really pretty even though she was nervous.

“Do you know her?” Mom asked over the applause.

“We’re friends,” I replied.

“So why is she a guardian and not you?”

“She was more involved in stopping Luke than me,” I lied.

 When Dean Shetty cued everyone to return to socializing, Mom turned to me.

“Your grades are fantastic and your standing in your house is good,” Mom began. “But eligible bachelors will not notice you unless you stand out like her.”

“Y/M/N, leave her alone. Anyone who doesn’t notice Y/N isn’t worthy of being in our family anyway,” Dad defended.

Mom ignored him. “That girl, Marie Moreau, is not your friend, she is your competition. You are in the prime setting to have everything you’ve ever wanted but she could snatch it from you. You’re supposed to be able to see things like this coming, Y/N.”

“I do see things coming and I know Marie wouldn’t do that to me,” I quipped.

At that moment, Mom’s eyes bore so deep into me that I didn’t think that anyone could claw them out. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head at any moment and I could feel my breathing pick up.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” I promised.

It felt like forever until she leaned back in her seat and grabbed her phone.

“Make sure it doesn’t ‘slip out’ again. Now go socialize.”

“I need a minute, Mom, I’ve been socializing since we got here.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “This again.”

“What?”

“Y/M/N, please.”

“No, no, Y/D/N, she is constantly using, what, anxiety to get out of speaking to people. You are always too soft on her and make me look like the bad guy. I’m the one helping her be normal,” Mom snapped. “Anxiety didn’t exist when we were her age, we just did what we had to do, and look where we are now.”

I wondered if Emma ever felt as small as I did in that moment. Then, I wondered if she ever made herself small to hide from people, even her mom. Wordlessly, I left the table and tried to avoid any cameras as the tears burned in the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm my trembling chest and keep my throat busy. My chest shifted from trembling to heavy and I started looking around the room.

“I hear one piano…feel two fingers…smell three different alcohols…and see---”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cate’s voice broke me out of my rhythm and I glanced to see her sitting with Marie and Jordan, who was in their feminine form.

My chest felt much lighter and I quickly wiped away my tears. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Jordan called gently.

Cate pulled me into a hug and had me sit between her and Marie. “What happened?”

“My parents, well, my mom mostly. I guess I got too anxious for her, and she yelled at me,” I rambled.

Cate smiled softly. “Then you came at the perfect time. We were just talking about our horrible parents.”

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Well, mine are dead,” Marie commented.

I turned to her and placed my hands on top of hers. “What? I’m so sorry. How did it…”

“I accidentally killed them with my powers,” Marie explained.

“That must have been horrible.”

Marie barely nodded and I squeezed her hands. “I just told my little brother to go away during a camping trip. He never came back and my mom pretty much locked me away,” Cate confessed. “I was seven.”

 “What?” I whispered.

“I killed my grandpa with my powers,” Jordan interjected.

We all turned to her and I cocked my head to the side.

“No, you didn’t,” Cate countered.

Jordan smiled. “You’re right, I was feeling left out.”

I didn’t think that I could laugh the way I did but it felt so nice. At least I had friends again.

When I started sipping on the whiskey Cate stole, I saw a brief image flash before my eyes. There was a guy with curly brown hair covered in dirt running away from several bloody bodies. He paused for a moment and opened his hand, revealing a tiny sleeping Emma. When the vision left, Andre was standing in front of us.

“Seriously?” I complained before he even spoke.

[fungus-no69]

School LIs x Pc/Reader (x Ivory Wraith)

You/your pronouns for pc, they/them pronouns for LIs, pc is mentioned to be uncanny and strange looking in general, pc is POSSESSED!!! by the IVORY WRAITH!!!!! attempted harassment by Whitney (it fails), burns in Sydney's, mentions of Kylar's parents (maybe spoilery???)

You're never really... here. Always a bit dazed with a faraway look in your eye, yet an alertness to you that means it can't just be disassociation or anything like that.

They see you talking to the mirror a lot, or if not, looking into alleys like you're supposed to be seeing something other than the knocked over bins and occasional stray. Even at the lake in the forest, you're crouched at the edge of it as water licks at your shoes. Sometimes, the shadows seem to warp around you or maybe, your eyes are just a bit too wide to be normal. Something about the way your knuckles jut out too far or even the way that your lip movements don't completely match up with what you're saying.

Sometimes they see you wandering around the street, like a puppet. Clumsy and artificial. If anyone did see your face in those times they'd comment on the vibrant, unnatural blue of your eyes. Or how your skin seems to lose any warmth in its undertones, or maybe the way that you hum to yourself- pressing a hand to your chest and holding onto your pyjama shirt.

Robin

They're incredibly concerned that they hadn't noticed before they woke up to seeing you climb out of your window???

Even when you disappear and only appear after a whole day- looking even more out of it than usual and covered in water and some... other sort of substance that Robin just doesn't want to think too hard about

They just assume that's another weird thing you do along with the... everything else.

Look they had reason to believe it's just normal 'you' behaviour okay!

They check on you each blood moon from then on, even offering for you to stay in their room at the end of each month.

If they see you trying to leave out of the window again they may panic and grab you- looking at your face and being chilled by your hollow expression, a smile that makes them uneasy crawling up your face as a voice that's not yours repeats their name

"Robin Robin Robin Robin"

'You' slip out of their grasp before they can react- disappearing behind the windowsill. They probably almost scream before seeing you're fine at the bottom.

They can't help you before you're gone, you'll probably return in the morning anyway.

Whitney

This bitch ass motherfucker was probably skulking around the alleyways when they saw you staggering towards Nightingale street

They popped up behind you and grabbed your shoulders- hoping to make you squeal.

You didn't.

Simply continued walking.

Whitney just shrugged it off after a second of sulking, adding it to their internal list of your oddities (No they don't think of you often shut up)

They keep following you, teasing, mocking, sexual innuendos- you name it.

They pause when they see you take a beeline into the forest because what the fuck? No one except for tourists and people with a death wish go there (especially on a blood moon)

They're not superstitious per se but everyone and their fucking grandmother knows that what you're doing is a bad idea.

They grab your elbow and finally get a good look at your face, blank expression with unfocused blue eyes that look out of place on you.

For a moment they think they've been following the wrong person around. But that's impossible because they know what their slut looks like!

They open their mouth, probably to insult you or make a comment but nothing comes out when you start repeating their name with a manic grin.

They stumble when you wrench away, breaking into a sprint into the underbrush.

They go to follow you but you're already gone.

Sydney

They instinctively know something's wrong when they wake up to you shambling out of the temple's pews

They know you're strange, that something's wrong with you on a good day! But this is a whole new level.

Even as goosebumps raise on the nape of their neck, something about you seems familiar. A lingering sense of deja vu keeping them from moving.

They manage to stand up after a minute, limbs feeling heavier with each step they make towards you. Even if they tried, they wouldn't be able to sleep now. The air is stifling and wrong.

You shriek when their necklace brushes your skin as they lean closer, it leaves a torrefied blue mark where it made contact.

Yeah no. That is not normal.

Even without their necklace scalding you, your scream leaves their ears ringing and their head pounding with agony. They can't hear themself over the sound of their heartbeat, bile rises in their throat and they can't process anything but the feeling of hands so cold they burn and the image of cobalt that sears itself into their mind no matter where they look or how hard they squeeze their eyes closed.

They must have been making some kind of noise though, because when they come to- they're kneeling on the floor in between pews with Jordan's hands on their shoulders and you're nowhere to be seen.

Kylar

They were already following you as soon as they realised that you seemed even more off than usual

Somewhat similar to their parents before they became... whatever they are now.

They don't want you to end up like that! So they fight their body's urge to flee and appear at your elbow- you don't flinch, as per usual.

They hope their presence soothes you, it doesn't. You don't look as bad as they were imagining but their skin is becoming clammy just by being around you. And not in the normal way either!

They start to blabber to you, hoping to get your attention but you don't even spare them a glance! Now you're starting to freak them out.

They try to look at you properly, closer. They don't like what they see.

Blue eyes fixed in front of you, pallid cheeks, blue lips. Your eyes flick down for less than a second before a grin curls onto your lips and you grab them, calling their name

They love it when you say their name but not like that! Not when your voice echoes in their ears and makes their mouth go dry.

As much as their nails dig into your arms and they grasp as hard as they can, you manage to slip away- like their hands just... phased through somehow.

As much as they want to- need to chase you, their feet are rooted to the floor like something's holding them there. They can't do anything but watch as you depart into the forest.

They know that something was wrong! You wouldn't run away from them right? Yeah! That must be it! Something's taken control of you somehow!

They're not sure which idea makes their stomach churn more.

[buggybambi]

promise me? | carmen berzatto

rating: | cw: mentions of mikey’s death/funeral, a few timeskips, afab/fem!reader, angst/fluff content, unfinished ending i guess (i’m so down to write a part two if yall ask for it tbh)

nav post

request: “a more angsty idea would be that reader was dating Michael and no one knew she was pregnant when he died… so in order to avoid making their family sad/starting conflict, carmy agrees to pretend that they’re dating and it’s his kid? “

Since the funeral four months ago, your world had felt.. emptier.

Michael Berzatto was your everything. He was the boy in high school who threw rocks at your window, who climbed inside to make out with you on your bed until he fell asleep holding you close, only sneaking out to avoid your parents learning about his visits.

He was the guy who would make a big deal out of every small accomplishment. He was the person who you planned on spending the rest of your life with.

That was until everything happened. One phone call from the Chicago Police Department, and your entire view of the future had been shifted. There was one less person in it.

You didn’t talk to his family much anymore. His younger brother, Carmen, was the only person you really kept in touch with. You called Sugar every so often, and you’d send Donna a check-in text every week or so.

You knew Carmy was in New York, and he hadn’t come to the funeral. You weren’t expecting to see him again until he showed up on your doorstep.

The one thing he wasn’t expecting? You to open the door, tears in your eyes and a pregnancy test in your clenched hand.

“Hey, are you okay?” is the first thing Carmen says. He wraps his arms around you, trying to soothe you in anyway he can. A slight head shake from you and you taking a step back, holding the test out for him to see.

“I’m pregnant. The one person I should be able to tell.. isn’t fucking here.” Your soft voice breaks his heart. It’s the rush of realization that comes first.

The fact that, you’re pregnant with Mikey’s baby.

And Mikey is dead.

“Y/N, we can.. we’ll figure this out.” He promises in a whisper, and you shake your head, more tears streaming. “How?! How am I supposed to do this by myself?” You ask, and you fall into Carmen’s arms, crying on his shoulder. He could care less about the tear stains on his white tee.

If Mikey were here, if there was a way to talk to his dead brother right now, he know what he’d say: “take care of her. Take care of my baby for me.”

“You aren’t alone. You have me.” He swears.

It’s what his brother would want.

“Promise me?” You request quietly. And he nods, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“I promise.” He repeats.

──

You knew bringing up the pregnancy to Mikey’s family would be.. rough. Sugar and Donna would be upset, with Donna resenting every choice you make.

It would be chaos. So, you kept it a secret, which was harder than it seemed.

You and Carmen had it planned out. To start “dating” two months later, and lie about the timeline of your pregnancy. No one had to know other than you two.

You and Carmen announced your pregnancy to the Berzatto clan three months later, seven months after Mikey died. All of it felt rushed and you found yourself having to force yourself to slow down.

Thankfully, though, Carmen was by your side through it all. Moving in with you and helping set up the nursery, which you made sure to send photos of to Natalie and Donna.

You were there for him when he took over the Beef. It was a while before you found the strength to go back there again, reminiscing on the times you spent in there with Mikey. Him flirting with you as you volunteered your time behind the counter.

Once you had, you found yourself in the same spot you were nearly a year ago. Laughing with Tina and Marcus, threatning jerks with Richie. Even making friends with the new chef, Sydney.

Carmen thought it was good for you. He found himself smiling in the back office as he heard your familiar, light laughter and calming voice.

“You were deeply missed!” Marcus says as he hugs you while you laugh. “So, how’s pregnancy going?” Tina asks as you sigh. “It is a bitch sometimes. But this little one will be worth it.”

“Can I just say.. thank you for bringing a smile to my brother’s face. Seriously. He hasn’t been this happy in a while.” Natalie says as you nod. “It isn’t just me. You guys play a huge part in that.”

“Yeah kid but none of us are having his baby.” Marcus points out. “I should hope not.” You reply, and that’s when the kitchen fills with laughter.

It felt like you were at home again. Carmen wasn’t the only one smiling again.

──

You stood in the nursery, your bump larger. It felt surreal to believe how far you’d come.

You were in your third trimester, 38 weeks pregnant. The nursery looked gorgeous, with a shelf close to the door holding photos from the maternity photoshoot you and Carmen did as well as sonograms pictures.

You wanted to memorialize Mikey in the room as well. A frame sits on the shelf near the sonogram, containing a photo of Natalie, Carmen and Mikey as kids.

You run a hand over Mikey’s spot in the photo, shaking your head and setting it on the shelf. “I remember the day that photo was taken. Mike hated that shirt. That was the only good photo that our mom decided to keep.” Natalie says, entering the room with a glass of water for you.

You accept it, only to nearly drop the glass when a tightening in your stomach forms. It’s at that moment you realize - your water broke, you’re having contractions and.. you’re in labor.

It’s a frenzy from there. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion. You waddling-running out to the car, Natalie following behind with the bags while you begin calling Carmen’s phone repeatedly. Time feels like it’s slowed.

It isn’t until you’re at Chicago Medical and being wheeled down the hallway to your labor and delivery room that you realize two things:

1. You’re actually having this baby.

2. Mikey won’t be here to see it.

Some part of you, the part that hasn’t been hitten by the grief yet and the same part that won’t accept he’s gone, is now being hit with the grief. The realization he won’t just come into the room and come back into the room or your life again. It doesn’t rush over you, it drowns you instead.

Maybe it was just the pregnancy excitement and rush. Things hadn’t felt real since the funeral and now? Now they were forcing themselves to be accepted. Forcing you to realize that this is occuring.

It isn’t until you’re alone in the room that you allow the tears to break free. Your vision feels blurred as your heart aches for a man whose gone. One who isn’t here anymore and you can’t change that.

The sight that Carmy finds in the hospital room hurts his heart. It’s quiet, the beeping of monitors that are keeping an eye on your vitals, the baby’s vitals, contractions is the only noise filling the room. You’re seated upright, your eyes exhausted.

“Hi. How are you?” He asks softly as he walks over. He hesitantely puts a hand on your face to brush some of the hair away, and you allow it. You sigh, your face relaxing when he cradles your face like you’re the most precious thing.

“It hit me.” You say softly. “I let myself grieve for a week before his funeral, and then at least three afterward. And then I found out I was pregnant and I bottled it up because I couldn’t do it anymore. And now it hit me again. That I’m having his baby and he’s not going to get to meet him, or her.” Your fists clench at the anger of it.

There are five known stages of grief. Denial, anger, barganing, depression and acceptance. You were on the second stage: anger.

There’s nothing Carmen can say. No words to make it all better, he knows that from his own experience and people trying with him. So, instead, he stays quiet and he lets you get it out.

You exhale, laying back with his help as he props a pillow for you. “Thank you for being here.” You say softly as he takes your hand in his, entertwining your fingers. “I made a promise to be here with you through all of this.”

He intends to keep that promise.

──

‘Roan Michael Berzatto’. Eight pounds, six ounces. Born at 11:37 AM.

Most of the labor process felt like a blur. You remember crying, a lot, and Carmen holding your hand and letting you squeeze while you push, doctors and nurses overlapping each other as they speak to you. Sweat pooling on your forehead as a nurse wiped it away.

Roan looks like Mikey. He has his eyes, his nose, even the same small smile when he sleeps. It’s faint, but it’s there.

His entire hand wraps around Carmen’s pinky while he holds him. There’s a warm aura in the room, the sunlight filling the room perfectly.

You sit, watching them. Carmy walks over and sits beside you on the bed while he puts your son on his legs, as you look down at him. “He really does look like Mike.” You say softly, and Carmen laughs.

There’s a quiet in the air before he speaks again. “I love you.” He says softly. “I know maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you that, but I had to. We agreed to tell everyone this is our son and I want to keep that up, but I want more for us. I want you and I to.. be something more.”

You don’t say anything more, instead you lean over and press your lips against his, letting yourself embrace him. To take in what it feels like to kiss him, be this close to him.

Your world was suddenly full again.

[shuuen-no-cimory]

Also of course, it ain't me if I don't crossover my current hyperfixation with my ultimate current hyperfixation. So... Degrees of Lewdity x ProjectMoon! (This post is full of me yapping as I explain each drawing, so I guess, be ready?)

First, I'll go hard with Whitney as R Corp. 4th Rabbit Team. The initial idea was that he reminds me so much of RHeath LMAO But eventually I love the idea because I think he'd go along with Myo well. Plus... Somehow imagining Whitney in Rabbit Team Hatchery shenanigans seems... Interesting.

Next is Eden. If anyone notice, I originally designed him based of 2 Abnos: Der Freischutz and Big Bird. Der Frei was, of course, a nod to his title as a Hunter, and a marksman as well. For Big Bird... Yeah definitely there's the Big Bird in DoL, yet I think temperance-wise, Eden does felt similar to Big Bird. A creature living in a forest, thinking they protect others by doing the action that definitely doesn't seems to be out of protection. As for RRH, oh think about this: Being hunted down while getting marked. One by a hunter, and another by a wolf. Oh isn't it just reminds me of something...? Right

Funny enough, before I designed the school LIs properly, I reimagined them as The City's feathers. "If they're living in the City and has to work with one Wing, which one they'll work on?" I've talked about R. Corp Whitney earlier so I'll talk about the others! Robin, L Corp. - I can imagine him with the pressing needs to survive under the weight of Bailey's rent ends up either being sent or signed himself up as an agent for L Corp. The Wing doesn't ask that much requirement as per Hokmah's story while the agent supposed to have a great pay (being a wing and all). Hence, I think he might work for L Corp. Sydney, K Corp. - The idea was that after graduating, Sydney might follow Sirris path in science. Being the obedient child she is (as we sees on the game before they get corrupted), she probably choose to do what Sirris might do hence her as K Corp. researcher. Oh anyway, truly this is just a fyi that doesn't seems to be related to anything, I reimagined Harper as Dongrang in this scenario, with the whole Teary-Thing problem exist. Oh, lucky enough for Sydney to help producing K Ampule that definitely just as seen in the canon Limbus story. Just saying. Kylar, W Corp. - This one actually a rather fun idea. This is set with the idea that Kylar work as the Clean Up Member, with parents that's definitely unaware with how their child work but nevertheless proud with him. They'd even use WARP Train solely to be sent off by Kylar each time, much to Kylar silent dismay. If only they know what Kylar has to clean up among the 6 seconds they went into the train... Read one of the reblog tag and yeah. It has to do with Love Town. And pretty much how Kylar had to regularly assemble his parents again and again each trip they made.

LCB! SYDNEY LET'S GOOOO!!!! This idea came as I made my LCB-esque ID Card for Sydney. The idea of LCB Sydney's background was that it's pretty much what happened in the game, but make it The City-esque and seen from Sydney's eyes. It's fun imagining her as a Dieci Fixer who was caught in a complicated issue which she rather dip out from as she hasn't fully grow the backbone to face it yet. Oh right, in this AU I reimagined Ivory as Abnormality and both Sydney and Kylar got their EGO. Sydney got their Longing Phase EGO (HE, Gloom) while Kylar got the Haunting Phase EGO (WAW, Wrath). I actually had a draft of how the EGO works and its gimmick but let's talk it later on lol

When Yield My Flesh event is up on Limbus, my head doing the funny by thinking, "Damn... Jun Wren sounds cool..." then I remember Tingtang exist like jfgdjfgbjd HE FITS BETTER AS TINGTANG WHY DIDN'T I THINK ABOUT IT ON A SIDE NOTE, I also had the thought on how Bailey MIGHT kills it as either a Kurokumo or a Middle. After all, Middle never forget... Just like how Bailey never forget your rent LOL

And last but not least: Sydney and Robin as L Corp. Agent! Robin will be a high Temperance agent which work for Safety Team, while Sydney is the high Fortitude, high Prudence Disciplinary Team Captain. Oh, if you do notice: I made Sydney's cross looks like Penitence EGO Weapon. It's actually based of this idea of how One Sin and WhiteNight's dynamic thematically fits Sydney the Faithful and Sydney the Fallen. The name of both Abnos' EGO Set-- "Penitence" and "Paradise Lost" respectively, both fits the image of each Sydneys. Hence, I draw them in both EGO Sets!

[felinecyan]

Karma

[Billy Loomis x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Karma gets the best of people. But so do unwanted memories.

WC: 1409

Category: Angst, Survivor!Hallie (because she deserves sm more love)

Summerween is still a thing, right? 💀 Oh well, here’s a slasher fic anyway…

『••✎••』

Karma always finds a way to make itself known. It is the great equalizer. You would think that a guy like Billy Loomis, a teenage psychopath, would know that better than anyone. He should've known that murdering half the town would come back to haunt him.

He should've known, but he was too far gone in his own narcissism to understand.

But, despite that, It's amazing how quickly a town can forget about a mass murder when a bigger tragedy strikes. In Woodsboro, the recent killings were all but forgotten about by the time of the anniversary of the first murders. People were more excited to talk about the new Stab movie being released rather than the killings that happened just two years prior.

You, on the other hand, would never be able to forget.

You had been friends with Randy Meeks ever since elementary school. Your parents had been good friends, and your mother was a huge horror movie buff, so it was no surprise when the two of you bonded over your shared love of horror.

Your friendship with him was cut short the day he died.

And even though it wasn’t Billy but his mother who had killed your Randy, you still felt Billy’s haunted presence in the school. In your head, you thought that you could sometimes see him walking around, even if it was only for a second. You could swear that you saw him in the corner of your eye or heard his maniacal laugh as you walked past his old locker.

It had gotten to the point where you couldn't focus in class because you were afraid that Billy was going to be lurking outside, waiting to strike. You felt a lot of resentment towards Sidney for surviving—for yourself, while Randy hadn't.

It truly should’ve been you. I mean, you dated Billy for a bit; you should've seen the signs. If anything, you deserved to take Randy’s place for being shitty at reading people.

Well, Randy couldn’t see his best friend was a killer either. So really, he was just as shitty as you were.

After Randy was killed, you didn't go out much anymore. Stu and Randy were everywhere, but you found the worst one was Billy.

You’d see him staring, his eyes burning a hole into your skull. Even when you turned around and he wasn’t there, you still felt him.

The only time you really got out of the house was when Hallie forced both you and Syd to join her at the movies. It was horror, of course, it was, but she truly believed that seeing the movie would get the trauma out of your system and into the fictional world where it belonged.

Sydney, of course, wanted nothing to do with the movie and stayed home.

Which left you with Hallie. You would’ve stayed home, too, if it wasn’t for the convincing words and the promise of ice cream afterward.

Hallie was practically bouncing in her seat, excitedly looking at the trailers before the movie. You sat beside her, trying not to make it too obvious that you were glancing around the room every few seconds.

The theater was pretty much empty, with only a few people scattered throughout. It was a small town, after all, and not many people would want to watch a movie that was now too realistic.

You looked down at the popcorn in your hands that Hallie had forced upon you and sighed. This was a terrible idea.

You didn't notice the person sitting down next to you until they spoke.

"This brings back old memories, doesn’t it?”

You froze. You didn’t need to look to know who was talking. His voice was a voice that you had been hearing in your head for two years now.

Slowly, you turned to face Billy. He was grinning at you, and he looked more alive than ever. Except now, there were blood stains covering him and a nice small bullet hole right in the center of his forehead.

You tried not to focus on it too much.

"Go away." You demanded quietly, afraid to draw any attention to yourself. Hallie was too enamored with the trailers to pay any attention to you, but you didn’t want to risk it.

If you were going to be haunted by a psychopath, it would’ve made better sense for it to be Stu. Annoying people was right up his alley, while Billy would normally just ignore you and do whatever the hell he wanted.

"Why?" Billy asked, his grin growing wider. "It's been a while since we last talked. Hell, Randy, and Stu haven't shut up, so it's a nice change to hear someone else."

"You don't deserve to say his name," you spat out, your hands curling into a fist. Billy looked down at the fist, and his gaze darkened.

"Look at you, trying to be all tough. Sydney must have rubbed off on you a bit. That or you've always had a bit of a temper." He mused, a hand coming up to rest under his chin.

"What do you want from me?" You hissed, trying not to raise your voice. A little side glance from Hallie told you that you weren't doing a very good job.

But she went back to the commercials, waiting impatiently for the movie to start, and Billy laughed. He laughed harder than he had before, his eyes closing as the cackles shook his whole body.

"Want from you? Nothing. I'm just here to enjoy the movie." Billy grinned. You glared, your lips curling back into a snarl.

"No, you're not. You're not real."

He smiled at that. "I’m as real as you want me to be, Princess. Why is it that I’m here and not Randy? I mean, you claim to be his best friend. So you tell me, why isn’t he here and I am?"

You opened your mouth to tell him to fuck off, but you were cut off by the lights dimming, and the intro music started. Hallie let out a whoop, and Billy settled into his seat, turning his attention away from you.

The movie wasn't even that good; the acting was mediocre, and the special effects were even worse. You had no idea why this movie was so popular.

You blamed Randy's previous influence as a horror movie expert.

Hallie seemed to be enjoying herself, and she kept whispering her thoughts about the movie to you. You only half-listened, your attention still focused on Billy. You could feel the ghost of his hand resting on your leg, the coldness seeping through your jeans.

You tried your best to ignore him, but Billy was determined to make sure you didn't.

"God, can't believe how bad this movie is," he complained, shaking his head. "I'm almost embarrassed for these people."

You never felt the urge to throw popcorn more than in that moment.

"Stop it," you said through gritted teeth. "Just leave me alone."

"Why? It's not like you have any actual friends left, so I'm the only company you'll get. Sydney, sure, but psycho analyst over there? She might’ve escaped once, but she's not smart enough to do it again."

Your anger spiked at his words, and you were about to reach over and hit him, but his hand caught your wrist, his grip tight.

"Ah, ah, ah," he tutted. "Remember, we're in public. Can't have you acting out, can we?"

The grip shocked you. Because it wasn’t the ghost-like touch that you had become so accustomed to; no, it was real, solid like a normal human's grip.

You pulled your wrist back and turned to stare at him. You wanted to say something, ask him what the hell was happening, but his smile told you that he already knew.

The grip was his way of reminding you that no matter how much you wanted him gone, he was still there. He wasn't going to disappear.

Billy leaned back and smiled at you, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek.

"Enjoy the rest of your movie,” He whispered, his breath sending a shiver down your spine. “I know I’ll enjoy mine.”

Then, not even a second later, he was gone. You didn’t see him leave, or hear him, or even feel him.

His touch was replaced with a cold breeze, and the only thing that you were left with was a memory and the promise of a sequel.

[bruisedloverr]

Since I've been microwaving this AU in my head for some days (or a week?) now, I've decided to share it! DoL but it is a horror movie. It gets gory, warning for that (and perhaps disorganized thoughts)

To start, the situation of PC is not really that different to begin with, they still have to pay Bailey... but now there's murder in the middle! There has been a string of murders lately, and the Temple has been targeted, but some other people not related to it, too. Rumours says the people responsible for this target virgins and chaste people to offer their blood and bodies in demonic rituals, but could that possibly be true..? (Spoiler, it is. The Children of Auriga are the ones behind this). What it is clear, people disappear two weeks before a Blood Moon occurs, and they're either never seen again, or their corpses are found in the forest, near the Temple's garden.

So now poor PC has to work to pay a sudden debt they didn't knew they had, dodge rapists AND try to avoid being murdered, in the case they were deemed to be a suitable target. They can also find love in the way, yay! Bailey keeps them safe, in their own way (even if PC doesn't realize it. Some sort of "things are bad but could be much worse"). But that may or may not be enough.

I'll go explaining the LIs and their roles so far, there are lots of characters after all and I can't possibly fit them all in:

Sydney: The actions the player do with them kind of affect a LOT here. If the Player keeps them pure, they're basically the perfect target for the cult, but they will stay pretty much the same, albeit more paranoid. However, if the Player corrupts them... they not only become a lustful person, but also murderous and way less moral. Not towards the Player, of course, but towards the very religion that he used to find so much comfort in (Jordan is different in their mind and don't have those desires towards them, though). Investigating on their own, going through secret hallways in the Temple, the will find about the cult behind the murders (or the theories about it, at least), and aid them, basically luring innocent initiates that trust them to their death. A gruesome one, too. Basically, whether they're a target or a murderer depends entirely on PC's hands.

Robin: PC's childhood friend, as always. The more the town gets covered in blood, the more paranoid they become, and they start to act like in their traumatized state, distracted and withdrawn. They might pretend they're strong sometimes, depending on how the player treats them, but they're still a scared teen, and it will show. PC may be able to help them be truly strong... or not.

Whitney: Bully with a secret, that secret being the fact they're not dominant all the time, and that one of the reasons they're also a bully is the fact they crave control and status (with a mix of being a genuine asshole and a bit of peer pressure). They're not afraid to play dirty. Scared shitless of what's going on in the town, but they pretend it doesn't affect them. They start as a threat to PC, but that may develop into a relationship where PC can find some sort of protection... from others, anyway.

Kylar: Still a yandere, still full of grudges. Puts PC's wellbeing over their own. Would fight cultists if they had PC with them (and lose, prolly, unless they somehow get their parents involved). Everyone thinks they're the murderer or somehow involved due to being so weird but they aren't, and PC can either fight these rumours, perhaps starting to fall in love as the spend more time with Kylar (to confirm what they know, that they aren't behind the murders, of course!) or believe them, making them worse.

Avery: Sugar Daddy/Mommy, used to getting their way, their wealth is both a shield and a weapon, buying their compliance (and silence) while fueling their sense of entitlement and control. However, among rich people, their status is... bad. They get side eyed a lot. Know more than they let on.

Eden: Isolated and possessive, their love is a cage with bars made of guilt trips, forced domesticity, and maybe a few strategically placed bear traps. Also a literal cage if PC misbehaves. Their definition of keeping PC safe is not letting them go, ever. More comfortable with knives and gutted deer than human interaction.

Alex: They have seen the news, and feels bad for what the townies have to go through, but also glad it will not affect them (or so they think). Having them as LI is one of the best endings PC can have, as they will be away from the town, and completely safe from harm. Maybe.

Black Wolf/Great Hawk: They're animals, but maybe a true love kiss (hallucinations) will make them human! Sometimes. The Hawk's tower is completely safe, so it's definitely the best ending for PC. The wolf cave is also safe, but not that much. There's still the chance for danger.

And these are just the LIs so far! I have information about others, too, but this post is long enough.

[yaekiss]

꩜ Room Content: GN! Reader x GN! Yan! Sydney the Faithful, no gendered terms used for reader or Sydney, nsfw bulleted point towards the end where reader tops and chokes Sydney, unhealthy relationship from Sydney, worshipping, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: This is so all over the place my bad LOL anyways some quick thoughts on how yan!Sydney the Faithful would play out, I also have thoughts about how it'd be like once the relationship has corrupted Sydney into their Fallen development but those r thoughts for another day orz...

- Started out as something harmless and cute, you spent so much time with them and you're one of the nicest people they've met in school so far, you’re probably their first crush ever !

- And when you reciprocate their love confession, those euphoric firework feelings never really fizzle out

- As your relationship progresses, you become all they can think about, be it while stamping the overdue books during their morning library counter duties or during mass

- Their eyes wander to where you’re seated at the end of the pew, next to some other initiate. Maybe you’re talking to them, maybe you’re just quietly listening to Jordan, but neither stop a strange new emotion from bubbling up in them

- When they see Jordan push the bread into your mouth, something in them twists. They’re not sure if they want to be the one to gingerly press the bread onto your tongue or if they want you to be the one to do the same to them

- If you took Jordan’s place, would they be able to hold back from enveloping your fingers in their mouth? To stop themselves from savouring you as if you were holier than anything in the temple itself? Sydney has to shake to clear away the thoughts, which catches your eye and, heavens above, what wouldn’t they do to keep your gaze upon them for a second more?

- Also thinking about a Devotion meter that serves as something like Kylar's Jealousy meter

- But unlike Kylar, they're more self-assured in your love for them. If anything, the more you remain steadfast in your relationship with them when others try to steal your attention away, the faster their devotion accumulates. (It’ll be even worse if you had an angel transformation, what’s stopping them from believing you should be worshipped?) 

- Both Sirris and Sydney know about your living circumstances so it's not terribly difficult to convince their parent to let you stay over for a night or two when they come to pick Sydney up at the temple. Besides, Danube street and the orphanage are so close to each other, it’ll be no trouble at all!

- And if they take your hand into their clasped ones in the middle of the night, knelt at the edge of the bed while you’re asleep, feverishly praying for salvation for the both of you, surely you wouldn’t mind

- They find themselves rubbing at their holy pendant a lot more these days when they think about you. (When their thoughts stray into more inappropriate unholy territories, they fantasise about you wrapping the cord of their pendant around your hand to use it as leverage while you pound into them, the sensation of being choked by you might just send them to heaven ♡)

- Perhaps they need to bring you to the prayer room to fully show how much they need to worship you + + Devotion

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The salt of life

Disclaimer: This makes no sense, it's just a list of Sydcarmy musings and analogies but I wanted to share it anyway.

In culinary metaphors

Syd is affecting Carmy like TABLE salt affects mixes in bakery. She enhances Carmy’s flavor, but does not change it. That’s not always a good thing. It all depends on finding the right balance and timing and ensuring the ingredients are correctly mixed because otherwise, the whole thing is ruined.

Salt is dangerous. As a matter of fact, it can kill you.

Salt is basically sodium. Sodium is poison when incorrectly used, but it also makes the ❤️ beat when its levels are balanced out with the potassium in our blood.

In medical terms

Syd is the heart.

Carmy is the circulatory system that would dry up and die unless the heart irrigates it.

The Bear, their place, is the blood. The family.

What makes the heart beat is electricity.

They generate this power. This spark. And it can get out of control, like all sparks, of course.

That’s the chemistry they create when they are together → Beating.

None make sense without the other, BECAUSE THEY FORM A SYSTEM, is you separate the veins and arteries from the heart and the blood, they are simply lifeless. Isolated they don't make much sense.

THEY ARE A SYSTEM. THE MAIN SYSTEM.

How that system works

She lit the spark in him and gave him a heart when he was used to being a robot who only worked and smoked the competition.

Sydney could definitely work without Carmy, but at this point, it wouldn't make sense for her. She would feel lifeless, even if she wins 100 stars elsewhere. Her place is The Bear, the restaurant and the chef. Because that's what she chose with her heart.

Carmy has worked and thrived without her and wouldn't do it again unless it's out of spite, just to show her.

However, I don't think it'll come to that like it once did with Michael, or his parents, he has learned that lesson the hard way by now.

Carmy works as a SYSTEM, as part of something bigger than him, if he becomes isolated, S3 Carmy takes the wheel. He doesn't work like that, he crashes and burns.

But during most of S3 the "spark" Syd ignited in him, the one that got the blood flowing again, gave him a heart, a purpose, where there was only a hurt man who felt so much pain that couldn't even express it and thus, sublimated it in the form of a work addiction and functional depression, and therefore couldn't overcome it either, got out of control.

The SYSTEM was broken, because the elements that formed it attempted to work separately. There was no synergy, just energy that was out of balance. Not completely, but mostly.

Back to the salt

I have already gone over the analogy between Carmy and onions, acid, etc. Most in the fandom have, but here's a reminder of what I think about that:

So, the result of mixing culinary purpose salt (table salt) with acid ingredients is a WEAKER ACID.

We can all agree on Carmy being "intense", right?

Well, when in contact with her he can calibrate himself better.

I emphasize "contact" because when they are OUT OF TOUCH, the effect is almost instantaneous and painfully obvious in Carmy, which has always been, and in S3 it started to become more apparent in her too, as you can see in these previous entries:

They belong together to balance each other out, when there's this distance between them, that we saw in S3, THEY ARE IMBALANCED.

Salt is the balancer ingredient in any recipe. It enhances what needs to be enhanced and neutralizes what needs to be neutralized if used correctly

But salt on its own is no good, it needs to work as part of a recipe, a dish, A SYSTEM.

She's the salt, his salt, the one that brought flavor back to his life, and that's why his story re-started the day she came into his life. Carmy and all that he represents, the restaurant he inherited, the family in it, the family business that Cicero keeps funding, the extended family now Syd found at The Bear, is the system. He is a system that needs to be balanced and sometimes neutralized. Salt is the main ingredient for him, because he lacks of it, he's acid.

Bonus track: Le Chatelier's principle

I have mentioned this before but it bears repeating→ When her dishes were out of balance it was always because of the "acid" ingredient, which means she's outta balance too. Carmy doesn't balance her, he doesn't have that effect on her. In chemistry, acids tend to dissolve salt BUT they can create NEW SALTS too (Le Chatelier's principle). She's fighting this because she knows that once she fully lets Carmy in, it's gonna be the end of the world as she knows it. She won't be able to fight it much longer after this breaking point ↓

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[just-dol-headshots]

Wait, doesn't Kylar and Sydney have some "past" together in the game that we don't know yet? The second swap au is really perfect regarding this tbh, so much drama might be possible! Dont ya think? ❤️

Absolutely, though it would be... Kylar and ROBIN that would have that past! For Kylar the Faithful and Robin the Loner anyway.

Something something, the Ivory cult Following is kind to all townsfolk while spreading The Ivory's philosophies. Young Faithful Kylar and Loner Robin become friends gradually as the Following helps Robin's parents get out of their bad spot (like they may do for other helpless families near The Ivory's spires); a house/mansion built in Ivory's name, covered in symbolism and a nod towards the Following's presence in the town. They can play together--Kylar and Robin--and Robin can start to come out of his shell while not living in poverty. This happy, playful but still-quiet child is what Kylar remembers of Robin.

Along the way, through rituals and curses that were to no fault of their own, such symbolism and spirituality residing within the mansion slowly turned Robin's parents into mad decrepit pale beings that crawl on all-fours--unknowingly, Robin themselves were spared from this madness due to their innocence at the time... The Parents still know their Child, but consider all things outside of the mansion to be the evil and twisted ones.

Seeing this happen to the parents, the Following retreat from the volunteered upkeep of the mansion, leaving Robin in its ruins. The isolation makes Robin quiet and awkward again, and seemingly more susceptible to bullying. The Following's drawback pulls Kylar with it, but Kylar manages to keep an eye on Robin through school...

...something like that at least for Kylar the Faithful and Robin the Loner. Fun thing about Swap AU is that ANYTHING can change, BUT keeping track of that change will be difficult as I build more and more sdkjfghd nothing is set in stone, but I do want to lay groundwork for future ideas!

[jerseyshoresy]

How're you now?

Can I request something for either shoresy or wayne where the reader goes home for Christmas? Since they came from either New Zealand or Australia and they miss the summer Christmasses. And one year they invite either shoresy and wayne to hang out with their family and go to the beach and stuff? Friends to lovers perhaps?

Thank you kindly!

Good and you? Hopefully not so bad! (lol)

What a fun request, thanks so much for sending this in! I had a great time thinking of a plot for this since it was a super creative ask☺️ I decided to do two shorter stories, one with Shoresy in New Zealand and one with Wayne in Australia!! Please enjoy <3

Summertime Santa Season with Your Sweetie

Fluff

Shoresy x gn!reader, Wayne x gn!reader

Warnings: cussing

SHORESY:

"So, what do you think? You wanna come with?"

You were giving your friend Shoresy a hopeful look. You had just invited him to spend Christmas with you and your family in the Southern Hemisphere.

"Really? You want me to be there?" he asked, a tone of excitement coating his words.

You laughed. "You're my best friend, Shore, of course I want you there. Besides, I think my family likes you better than me anyway."

"We're even because my family feels the same about you."

"It's settled then?" you asked, raising your eyebrows.

"Well, since your parents already bought my plane ticket months ago, I'd say I'm ready to go."

"What? Are you serious?"

Shoresy gave you a wide, missing tooth grin. "No, I'm just messing with you. The look of betrayal on your face was one for the books."

Your eyes narrowed. "I'm about to rescind my invite."

Considering you were now lounging on the beach with a certain loud mouth hockey player, you weren't actually serious about uninviting him. You sighed, taking in a breath, the smell of the ocean lingering in your nose. It had been a long time since you celebrated Christmas in your home country and while you loved living in Canada, nothing could beat the feeling of sun on your skin as it brought back all the fond memories of your childhood in New Zealand. Now that you were back, you were extremely happy. Having Shoresy there to celebrate with you and your family was a plus, too. You guys had been friends for many years and your relationship ran deeply, you two able to talk about everything with each other without fear or hesitation. While others found themselves exasperated by Shoresy, you never felt anything other than comfort and ease around the man. Even now, as his blocky figure stood over you, casting a shadow on your body, you couldn't find it within you to be annoyed.

"The picnic is all set up. You want something to eat?"

As if it heard him, your stomach growled. Shoresy reached out his hand to help you out of the sand and you gladly took it. Even though this was no sort of new gesture from your friend, you felt your heart do a flip at the contact of his skin on yours. Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled your hand away and made a beeline for your family, trying to calm your heart rate.

"Hey! Y/n! You feeling alright?" Shoresy caught up to you, sand getting kicked up from his fast moving feet. "You look like you saw a ghost or, like, the fuckin' Phantom of the Sydney Opera."

"Huh? That's in Australia, dumbass. But yeah, no, I'm fine, thanks. Just hungry, is all."

You didn't feel fine. Maybe you had heatstroke? You hadn't been in the sun that long... It didn't matter. You shook your head, eagerly grabbing a cup of water and relishing in the shade of the large umbrella overhead. Shoresy didn't look convinced but relaxed when he saw you sit down next to your family and begin to eat. He took the seat across from you, easily falling into conversation with a few of your cousins. However, he couldn't help but send a few glances your way every once in awhile, silently checking in on you. You were grateful for his attentiveness as you nodded, signaling you were good. As you took another bite of your meal, your mind was occupied with listening to all the other conversations happening around you, thankful for a distraction from the confusing feelings you experienced just a few minutes ago.

When lunch was finished, someone in your family suggested you guys play beach volleyball and you were ecstatic. You and Shoresy were on a team together and, to no one's surprise, you were completely in sync. Whenever the ball made it over the net, one of you would call it while the other set up the next shot for someone else to send it back over. Though you were good players, your family on the opposing team did really well, too. The game was heating up and the scores were tied by the end. With only one more point, you and Shoresy were ready to give it your all. The other team served as your cousin set up the first hit. Shoresy set the ball, hoping it was enough to have you spike it over the net. You kept your eyes trained on the ball and before it fell, you slammed your palm on it and sent it sailing over the net and into the sand. Your team won! You all erupted into cheers at your victory. All of a sudden, you felt your feet dangle in the air as Shoresy picked you up, swinging you around excitedly. You couldn't hold in your joyous laughter as you two shared your happiness at not losing, even though the result of the game had no impact on your lives whatsoever. When he finally put you back down on the sand, you two were still giggling and you noticed he still hadn't taken his hands off your waist. You felt yourself getting lost in his blue eyes as it seemed like the world around you dissolved, leaving you and Shoresy alone in your own universe. You were brought back to real life by a clap on your back from your sibling, giving you a hearty congratulations on your win. Shoresy immediately removed his grip on you, leaving you with a lingering feeling of emptiness now that he wasn't touching you.

After a few more days of fun in the sun and other Christmas festivities with your family, you and Shoresy decided to go for a walk by yourselves to get away from the hustle and bustle for a little bit. It was nearing dark and the stars started peeking from the sky. The way they twinkled reminded you of your Christmas tree in Canada and you smiled at the fact that this year, you had the best of both worlds.

“I’ve had a great week so far,” Shoresy said, breaking the silence. “I knew your family was awesome but this has been a hell of a good time.”

“Thank you for coming all this way with me. I appreciate it more than you know.”

You looked over at him, noticing he stopped under a Pōhutukawa tree. In that moment, in the comforting warmth of the night, under the bright red flowers, you swore that no one had ever looked so beautiful.

"I have something to tell you," you both uttered in unison.

"You first," you blurted out, making sure he was the first one to speak while you gathered your courage to confess that you were falling in love with your best friend.

"Okay. So. Okay." He took in a breath after nervously fiddling with his backwards hat. "Y/n, I've had a great time with you here in New Zealand and being your friend all these years has been such a wild ride that I'm thankful for every day. But lately, especially while I've been here, I've realized something. I would do anything to wake up by your side every morning and make you breakfast. I would jump out of a moving car for the chance to take out the trash for you. I'm falling in love with you and it's scaring the shit out of me so please, I need to know if you feel the same."

The only thing you did was let out a huge sigh of relief, momentarily confusing the man who just released an emotionally charged confession of his love.

"Kiss me, Shoresy."

He didn't hesitate, cupping his hands on your cheeks and capturing his lips in your own. As you stood under the glow of the stars while kissing your best friend, you couldn't believe how lucky you were this Christmas; Shoresy was the best gift you could've asked for.

WAYNE:

"A Christmas outside of Canada? That's an odd fuckin' request."

You felt your lips pull into a frown. You had just told your friend Wayne that you were headed to see your family in Australia for Christmas and wanted him to come with. You knew he was traditional, but you didn't think he'd be so quick to shut you down.

"Never mind, it was a silly question anyway." You stood up to leave his house, but he caught your attention before you went anywhere.

"Hey now," Wayne said, "I never said I wouldn't go."

"Is that a yes, then?" you asked, excitement overcoming you.

"As long as Katy's okay with taking care of things while I'm gone, then I'll be seeing you in the Southern Hemisphere."

Katy was more than happy to watch over the farm, which is how you and Wayne were now watching a Christmas parade in Australia with the rest of your family.

"There's such thing as showing too much leg and a fella oughta be fuckin' aware of it," grumbled Wayne as he averted his gaze from a Santa in front of him, dressed in a tank top and short shorts that, admittedly, weren't leaving a lot to the imagination.

"Can you blame the guy? It is pretty hot out today. Maybe I can get you in an outfit like that," you teased, Wayne just looking at you with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. You knew him long enough, though, to know he was having a great time experiencing a new way to celebrate. As you turned your attention back to the parade, you caught a glance of something you knew Wayne couldn't miss.

"Wayne," you said, your voice low, "you need to prepare yourself for this next float."

He raised his eyebrows at you, wondering what could signal this interest. You knew he spotted it when his mouth opened and let out a loud noise that was a healthy mix of "aww" and "oh"-- the float from the local animal shelter had arrived!

"Is Wayne alright?" your parents asked you, concern apparent on their faces.

"He just really loves dogs," you explained and they nodded in understanding. The dogs, ranging from puppies to seniors, were dressed in their holiday best and it looked like Wayne was a second away from crying (not surprising). What was surprising was the way Wayne unfolded his arms and scooted a little bit closer to you, his hand brushing against yours. In all your years of knowing him, he was never a fan of physical touch. Did he do that on accident? And why did a simple ghost of his fingers on yours feel like a strike of lightning between the two of you? You refocused your mind on the parade, not wanting to think about the possibility of having a crush on your dearest friend.

When it was finally Christmas day, your whole family busied themselves preparing for the large gathering that was happening later that afternoon. You and Wayne, along with a few of the younger members of the family, patiently waited to be told where to help.

"Y/n and Wayne, you're on dish duty."

"Sounds like a plan," you told your mom.

"Well, pitter patter, kangaroos scatter," Wayne remarked, rolling up his sleeves and working right away on washing the dishes in the sink from breakfast.

"No way you actually just said that," you groaned, jokingly hitting your palm to your forehead and turning away to shelve a dried dish. You didn't see it, but Wayne was looking at you with a twinkle in his eye and the slightest upturn of his lips. When you turned back around, he slyly averted his gaze so you couldn't see the lovesick expression he held. Thankfully for you, your uncle witnessed the whole thing as he walked past the kitchen.

"Are you two ever going to date?"

You furrowed your brows. "Me and who?"

"You and Wayne, of course!"

Wayne had been called outside to do some heavy lifting of coolers and furniture, leaving you and your uncle alone to finish up setting the table.

"We're just good friends. If he wanted to date me, I'm sure he would've asked me out by now. Besides, there's no way he likes me like that." You put down a knife a little too forcibly for comfort.

"He hides it well," your uncle continued, "but I saw the way he looked at you earlier when you were turned away. In the kitchen. He really likes you."

"I don't think you saw what you thought you did."

"I know that look. That look is from a man who's deeply in love."

"Yeah, right," you said, huffing as you placed down another napkin, "it'd be a real Christmas miracle if that were true."

"So you feel the same?" asked your uncle, a smile inching on his face.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks. "No! Well, maybe. I don't know."

"That answer says it all," he said. "Just tell him how you truly feel, deep down inside. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome."

You went to say something else, but Wayne had made a return. Maybe your uncle was right. Maybe it was time to come to the realization that you were in love with Wayne.

Later that night, after the feasting was done and the gifts opened, it was time to go listen to some carolers. You, Wayne, and your entire family were holding little candles and waiting for the singing to start. All of a sudden, your attention was caught by a gorgeous jacaranda tree not too far from where you were standing. You excused yourself from the group, wanting to get a closer look. The vivid purple blooms were still vibrant in the looming darkness and seemed to glimmer under the flickering flame of your candle.

"It's so peaceful out here, isn't it," you practically whispered, noticing Wayne's quiet presence behind you. He didn't answer with words but acknowledged you with a grunt of agreement. You stood side by side in comfortable silence, admiring nature's beauty. The words of your uncle came forefront to your mind as your eyes wandered over Wayne's handsome face, one that was normally stoic, but was currently hosting an unreadable expression. You'd decided to confess your feelings but Wayne spoke up first.

"Y/n, I've had something I've wanted to tell you for a long time so I'm just going to say it. I think you're the most astounding person I've ever had the pleasure to meet and you've been a great friend over the years. But lately I've been feeling feelings for you that are unacceptable between friends. It seems I have, as romance novels would say, fallen in love with you."

"Wayne..." you breathed out, "are you serious?"

He nodded, blinking slowly at you. "As a heart attack."

"Good." You stepped in closer to him, your lips almost brushing against his as you spoke. "You beat me to it, but... I'm in love with you too."

You felt him push forward and connect your lips in a kiss as his hands found their way onto your waist, holding you securely against his body. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss as you realized your Christmas wish came true.

[noangeleither]

headcanon for sydcarmy that I've had for months now that i was reminded of rewatching Fools Rush In yesterday (rip Matthew Perry) and reading @ambeauty 's new fanfic.

i love the unplanned pregnancy trope with them and also the idea that they would do every milestone backwards or hit them super fast in terms of their relationship. hear me out

what i love about sydney and carmy is how intense they are about each other while not knowing each other for that long. carmy spends braciole acting like a heartbroken widower and ends the episode by planning on revamping his family restaurant with a girl he's only known for a couple months. the restaurant dream he thought died with his brother, the person he loved the most (woah). while sydney is her most emotionally vulnerable with a guy she barely knows (and physically too, i.e the hug after the fire suppression test and the table scene) and constantly gives him second chances when he doesn't deserve them.

they are weird and intense about each other even with all these platonic and professional boundaries they put in place.

in my mind that is rotting from tumblr and ao3, when those boundaries disappear they will do the relationship shit on speed drive. oops they get pregnant after a few months of dating or a situationship. whats having a baby when you have a restaurant? they are already the mom and dad of the bear!

they would elope randomly on a tuesday afternoon after dating for a couple months bc they practically eat sleep live and breathe each other every single day anyways? carmy tells syd he doesn't want to wait when he already knows she's it for him. syd says he's crazy but she may just be crazier for agreeing (also grew up with hearing her parents love story who got married super young and fast so why cant she?)

oh they just started dating a few days ago? syd moves in or they start looking for new places. shes already here all the time when they menu plan. carmy already buys her fave snacks, subscribes to a couple streaming services for the first time bc syd loves to binge-watch shows, and has a couple of her scarves laying around.

and i love that this could go really bad, how intense and how much they love each other (bc im an angst enjoyer) or most likely really great bc these two losers want to practically live in each other's skin and make each other better.

side note: after watching fools rush in again...need a sydcarmy au bc the premise of two people from different cultures, values and perspectives foolishly rushing into a big thing like opening a restaurant having a baby is so them!

[jenniferjareauwife]

Can you do one where jjs daughter is like 15 and she is bipolar but she is so disconnected from reality that she doesn’t even know that she has bipolar disorder until she notices her mom babies her way more that other moms do with daughter there age and she starts to realize something is wrong. JJ knows she will never understand that she is different so she just lies to her and will disagrees with that. A bit later Charlotte starts talking about college but JJ doesn’t want her to go out of state so she discusses seeking guardian ship for Charlotte after she turns 18 but will disagrees again and they fight. Maybe Charlotte is like a danger to herself and can’t control herself when she’s manic.

What I Want

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: angst, fluff

warnings: bipolar

word count: 1214

age: 15 and then 16

summary: you've never known why your mom treats you differently until you bring up going to college

a/n: i don't write for fem oc so i put in y/n, i hope that's still ok!

I got in my mom's car, throwing my backpack in the backseat and huffing as I sat down. "Thanks for picking me up." I told her sincerely. She always picked me up whenever I asked her to since I had a lot of bad days and just wanted to be around her instead of a bunch of weird kids who don't know how to shut the fuck up.

"Of course honey. Anytime, you know that." She leaned over and kissed my temple before driving us home.

When we got home my dad had a small frown on his face when he saw that my mom had picked me up. My mom walked over to him after telling me to chill in my room. I knew they were talking about me but I didn't really care. I decided to call my friend who was probably skipping class in the bathroom anyways. "Hey girl." She said with a smile, both AirPods in.

"Hey."

"You're so lucky that your mom picks you up whenever you want to, I wish my mom was like that."

"Oh." I didn't really know what to say to that.

"I mean she's so protective over you and she's so loving. I wish my mom was like that." She sighed.

"Your mom loves you."

"Not like your mom does." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Was that really how other people saw it?

About 30 minutes later my mom walked into my room and laid down next to me on my bed. "How are you feeling baby?"

"I'm ok." I hesitated a bit.

"Really?"

"I was talking to Sydney...she said that you baby me a lot." I looked at her with a confused look on my face. "Do you really treat me that much different than other moms do with their daughters?"

"We just have a better relationship." She shrugged. "A lot of girls your age drift away from their parents but we're really close." She kissed my forehead as I nodded. "You sure you're ok?" I nodded again and snuggled up to her.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"Do you think it's weird how the past week I've been like...super sad and I don't want to do anything but then a week before that I was just...full of energy and stuff?" I asked, not really knowing how to explain it. "It's just like I did a full 180 and I don't like it."

"That happens to some people baby. That doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you, ok?" I nodded and buried my head in her neck. "Just relax, ok? I'm here."

It was now my junior year and I had to start looking at universities. My mom offered to take me on tours of local universities and I didn't have the heart to say no so I went on them with her but I really wanted to go where she went, the University of Pittsburgh.

I heard my parents arguing downstairs and I always hated when they argued so I went downstairs to stop them. "Guys can you please shut up for like one hour, ok? I'm doing my work and you yelling isn't helping!" I don't know how the words just came tumbling out of my mouth but it was like my head was buzzing and everything I was thinking was coming out.

"Ok. Calm down honey." My mom walked over to me and put her hands on my arms, rubbing them.

"What are you guys even arguing about anyways?" I leaned into her touch like I always did. She took a deep breath and turns towards my dad who looked a bit pissed off.

"We were just talking about you going to college-"

"Great! I was thinking about going to the University of Pittsburgh! I want to go where you went mom." I said with a big smile, hoping she would be as excited as me, but she wasn't.

"That's actually um...what we were talking about. We want you to stay in state." She squeezed my shoulders and caressed them comfortingly.

"What? Why?"

"We just think it would be best, so we're close if you need us, you know?" I nodded slowly.

"But...but I don't want to go to the places around here though." I told them quietly. "I want to go where you went mom. I really want to go." She sighed and looked at Will.

"She's spoken JJ. She doesn't want to stay in state." His voice was more gravely than normal, making me worried.

"What's going on?" I asked them. "Why do you wanna keep me in state so badly?"

"Like I said, it would be best if we were close so you could come when you need us, ok?" I nodded slowly again, really not understanding. "Also...we were thinking that someone could stay with you, to make sure you're doing ok."

"What do you mean? Like a helper? I don't need someone to accompany me to my classes, mom! Do you think I'm not capable?" I shrugged her hands off of my shoulders and tried to walk away but she stopped me. "Don't touch me! Are you even thinking about what I might want? All you care about is what you want for me. I thought you of all people would understand and support my decisions." I stormed away and slammed the door to my room, crying in my bed.

My mom knocked on my door an hour later. "Honey can I come in?" I didn't answer but she took it as a yes. "I'm really sorry honey." She sat down on the edge of my bed and put her hand on my side, rubbing it gently. "We just want what's best for you, ok? You tend to rely on us a lot and Pittsburgh is far away, you know?"

"But why do you want someone to watch over me while I'm over there? I don't need that."

"Because we just want to make sure you're ok. You're so important to us and we just want you to be ok."

"You keep saying us but it's just you. Dad wants me to go where I want to go." She let out a sigh and lied down on her side so she was spooning me.

"I just want you to be ok, baby."

"But I am ok."

"Who are you going to turn to when you have a depressive episode?" She traced circles on my stomach. "You only ever talk to me about it honey. I'm not against you talking to other people but I know you and I don't see you talking to anyone else about it. And what about when you feel like doing those dangerous things again and you need someone to talk you down from it?"

"Can't I just call you?" I mumbled. "You'll always answer, right?"

"Of course I'll always answer sweetheart." She kissed the back of my head. "You know that."

"Then can't we just do that? Because I really want to go to that university. It has everything I want." She sighed.

"We'll talk about it, ok? Let's just relax for now, yeah?" I nodded and relaxed when she pulled me closer to her. "I love you hon."

"I love you too mom."