#anyway adam was awesome and the best all night tonight like he got me stuff that i hadn’t even asked for yet and he wrote out my own order

[antecedentlypod]

EPISODE 3 TRANSCRIPT

-opening music-

LORRIE

Alright- [soft movement sounds] recording time. Reeecording time. One, two, three. [flip through the book, door opens]

Ah- fuck-

FISH

Oh! Shit- sorry- were you in the middle of something? Uh...sorry. I made lunch. Bahn mi! Y’know, the one I begged my brother for the recipe of? Uh- do you want some? I mean, I can’t guarantee it’s gonna be great ‘cause...it’s me...but it is getting cold! So...

LORRIE

I was just about to start recording, but lunch sounds...awesome, actually! But before we go, do you want to introduce yourself to the mic? I decided I wanted to keep the extra recordings and stuff, just for… me, I guess? Like- kinda like a journal. [brief pause]

My therapist did recommend I start journaling, but writing out my thoughts is hard as fuck. Talking into a microphone is much easier.

FISH

Oh. Okay, so just like...lamer scrapbooking- Yeah! Yeah, I guess. [taps the mic] uh. Check check? ...Right, okay. So, my name is Fish. Just- just Fish. I picked it out myself, actually, ‘cus i really like fish? Y’know? Uh, stonefish specifically but...I think sharks are really cool- are sharks fish? Anyway! [drifting off] I like she/her or they/them pronouns...um...that’s about it. Anyway, I’m here to make sure that Mr. Skeptic over here isn’t going haywire, given all the bullshit I’ve been hearing recently.

LORRIE

[soft laugh] That’s...enough, that’s good. Maybe I should do one of those myself. [pause, deep breath] Okay, uh. Hi, I’m Lorrie. I also picked that name out, sounds like a bird name. There is a bird named Lorrie, but it’s spelled differently. And it’s really colorful, which is the opposite of me! Um, I mainly use he/him or it/its pronouns, they/them is okay sometimes, but it’s best to stay away from it? And I’m not going haywire! Things are just… a little bit weird. It’s probably just hallucinations, it’s nothing.

FISH

A little bit? With all- [sigh, in a sarcastic tone] Okay, fine. Reaaaal convincing. Yeah! Believe that, 100%. ‘Kay, anyway... [laughter]

LORRIE

[sigh] Listen- just. Just shut the fuck up. [more laughter] I’m excited for lunch, though, I don’t remember the last time I ate, actually-

FISH

That’s...not ideal, but kind of the point. So...oh! Well, hopefully you ate before getting that tattoo, did uh- it looks...new. When did you…? [sigh] Okay. What’s with the eyes?

LORRIE

I think they’re cool. I got the tattoo a couple days ago, I’m pretty sure I got something to eat before it? Not a big deal.

FISH

[pause, dumbfounded and concerned] A couple days? Okay, holy shit, Lor. Let’s go get something to eat, okay? Lunch is getting cold, so.

LORRIE

Y-Yeah, that sounds good. Let me ju-just- [muffled movement, recording stops]

LORRIE

Aaaand we’re back. Lunch has been eaten, I feel- a lot better, honestly, and I think it’s a good time to record? [papers rustling] Um...where…? [collects himself] Uh, Fish left for work a little bit ago, which means the only idiot in the house with me is my dog! I’ll be able to work now, I think. Even if reading it makes me feel all- fuckin’ weird. It’s not a- not a great feeling. Not a great feeling at all. Fuck. Okay. Um. Take one of Rumpels-

[cut]

[weary] Take...five? I think? Of Rumpelstiltskin.

[cut]

Take nine of Rumplestiltskin. Read by Lorrie Adams.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN

Once upon a time, there was a miller who was poor, but he had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he was talking with the king one time, and to make himself seem important he said to the king: "I have a daughter who can spin straw into gold."

"That's an art that pleases me;” the king replied, “if your daughter is as talented as you say, bring her to my castle tomorrow and I will put her to the test." 

When the maiden was brought to him he led her into a room that was filled with straw. There he gave her a spinning-wheel and a spindle and said: "Now get to work, if you don’t spin straw into gold by morning, then you must die." Then he locked the room himself, and she remained inside all alone.

 The miller's poor daughter sat there feeling close to her wit’s end, for she knew nothing of spinning straw into gold, and her fear grew greater and greater. When she began to weep, the door suddenly opened and a little man entered, saying: "Good evening, Mistress Miller, why are you weeping so?" 

“Oh,” answered the maiden, "I'm supposed to spin straw into gold, and I don't know how." 

The little man then said: "What will you give me if I spin it for you?" 

"My necklace," the maiden said. The little man took the necklace and sat down at the wheel, and whizz, whizz, whizz, three times round the spool was full. Then he put on another one, and whizz, whizz, whizz, the second one was full; and so it went on until morning, until all the straw was spun and all the spools were filled with gold. The king appeared right at the sunrise and when he saw the gold he was surprised and pleased, but his heart grew even greedier. He locked the miller’s daughter in another room, one that was even larger than the first, and he ordered her to spin all the straw into gold if she valued her life.

The maiden did not know what to do and began to weep; then once again the door opened and the little man appeared and said: "What will you give me if I spin the straw into gold for you?" 

"The ring from my finger," answered the maiden. The little man took the ring, began to work away at the wheel again, and by morning he had spun all the straw into shining gold. The king was extremely pleased by the sight; but his lust for gold was still not satisfied. So he had the miller's daughter brought into an even larger room, and said to her: "You must have all this spun to gold tonight, but if you succeed, you shall become my wife." To himself he thought: Even though she’s just a miller's daughter, I’ll never find a richer woman anywhere in the world. 

When the maiden was alone the little man came again for the third time and asked: "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you once more?" 

"I have nothing left to give," answered the maiden. 

"Then promise me your first child when you become queen." 

"Who knows whether it will ever come to that?" thought the miller's daughter, and since she knew no other way out of her predicament, she promised the little man what he had demanded, and in return the little man spun the straw into gold once again. When the king came in the morning and found everything he had wished, he married her, and the miller's daughter became a queen.

After a year she gave birth to a beautiful child, and the little man had disappeared from her mind. But now he suddenly appeared in her room and said: "Now give me what you promised." The queen was horrified, and offered the little man all the treasures of the kingdom if he would let her keep her child. But the little man replied: "No, something living is more important to me than all the treasures in the world." Then the queen began to grieve and weep so much that the little man felt sorry for her. "I'll give you three days time," he said, "if you guess my name by the third day, you shall keep your child."

The queen spent the entire night trying to recall all the names she had ever heard. She also sent a messenger out into the country to inquire high and low names there were. On the following day when the little man appeared, she began with Kaspar, Melchior, Balzar, and listed all the names she knew, one after the other, but to all of them the little man said: "That's not my name." The second day she had her servants ask around in the neighboring area which names people used, and she came up with the most unusual and strangest names when the little man appeared. "Is your name Ribs of Beef? Or Muttonchops? Or Laced Leg?" But he always replied: “That’s not my name.” On the third day the messenger returned and reported, "I couldn't find a single new name, but as I was climbing a high mountain at the edge of the forest, where the fox and the hare say goodnight to each other, I saw a small cottage, and in front of the cottage was a fire, and around the fire danced a ridiculous little man who was hopping on one leg and screeching:

“Today I'll brew, tomorrow I'll bake,

Soon I'll have the queen's namesake;

Oh, how hard it is to play my game,

For Rumpelstiltskin is my name."

And you can imagine how happy the queen was when she heard the name. As soon as the little man entered and asked: “What’s my name, your highness?” 

She responded first by guessing: "Is your name Cunce?" "No." "Is your name Heinz?" "No." "Can your name be...Rumpelstiltskin?"

"The devil told you! the devil told you!" the little man screamed, and he stamped so ferociously with his right foot that his leg went deep into the ground up to his waist. Then he grabbed the other foot angrily with both hands and ripped himself in two.

LORRIE

[yawn] There’s another number for me to read. [stuttering] Another story. I didn’t- say this in my personal introduction, but I’m [trying to snap himself out of it. literally] working for like, something akin to an audiobook company? These are my- story recordings. Not perfect, by any means, but they’re alright enough, and not really ever my final takes. Um. I like this job. Fully remote, surprisingly good pay for it being paid by commission mostly- I don’t know...why people would want these stories read out, but that’s beside the point. I make enough to get a pretty nice apartment, for me and Fish. They sent me this collection of stories to read from, it’s in this [stuttering and snapping again] big book- this big paperback book, um, and they...they- I get emails with the story numbers that they want me to read? Because they’re all numbered in this book. And the stories are never more than a couple pages at a time, which...is kinda weird because the recordings end up being pretty short that way? I don’t know if they want...more from me for it, but that’s also beside the point.

Anyways. Take 1 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Ada-

[very tired] Take 3 of Briar Ro-

Ppppbbbt. [hyping himself up] Okay. Okay, you can do this, Lorrie. It’s not that hard, you’re just talking into a fucking microphone. Okay. Okay. Hm. [drinks something. water..?] Take 13 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Adams. 

BRIAR ROSE

In times of old there lived a king and queen, and every day they said, "Oh, if only we had a child!" yet they never had one.

Then one day, as the queen went out bathing, a frog happened to crawl ashore and say to her: “Your wish shall be fulfilled. Before the year is out, you shall give birth to a daughter.”

The frog’s prediction came true, and the queen gave birth to a girl who was so beautiful that the king was overjoyed and decided to hold a great feast. Not only did he invite his relatives, friends, and acquaintances, but also the wise women in the hope that they would be generous and kind to his daughter. There were thirteen wise women in his kingdom, but he only had twelve golden plates from which they could eat. Therefore, one of them had to remain home. The feast was celebrated with tremendous splendor, and when it drew to a close, the wise women bestowed their miraculous gifts upon the child. One gave her virtue, another beauty, the third wealth, and so on until they had given her nearly everything one could possibly wish for in the world. When eleven of them had offered their gifts, the thirteenth suddenly entered the hall. She wanted to get revenge for not having been invited, and without greeting anyone or looking around, she cried out with a loud voice: “In her fifteenth year, the princess shall prick herself with a spindle and fall down dead.” That was all she said. Then she turned around and left the hall.

Everyone was horrified, but the twelfth wise woman stepped forward. She still had her wish to make, and although she could not undo the evil spell, she could nevertheless soften it. “The princess shall not die,” she said, “instead she shall fall into a deep sleep for one hundred years.”

Since the king wanted to guard his dear child against such a catastrophe, he issued an order that all the spindles in his kingdom were to be burned. Meanwhile, the gifts of the wise women fulfilled themselves in every way. The girl was so beautiful, polite, kind, and sensible, that whoever encountered her could not help but adore her. Now, on the day she turned fifteen it happened that the king and queen were not in the palace, so she wandered all over the place and explored as many rooms and chambers as she pleased. She eventually came to an old tower, climbed it’s narrow, winding staircase, and came to a small door. A rusty key was stuck in the lock, and when she turned it, the door sprang open and she saw an old woman in a little room sitting with a spindle and busily spinning flax.

“Good day, old granny!” said the princess, “What are you doing there?”

“I’m spinning,” said the old woman, and she nodded her head.

“What’s the thing that’s bobbing around in such a funny way?” Asked the maiden, and she took the spindle and wanted to spin too. But just as she touched the spindle, the magic spell began working and she pricked her finger with it. The very moment she felt the prick, she fell down on the bed that was standing there and was overcome by a deep sleep. This sleep soon spread throughout the entire palace. The king and queen had just returned home, and when they entered the hall they fell asleep, as did all the people in their court. They were followed by the horses in the stables, the dogs in the courtyard, the pigeons on the roof, and the flies on the wall. Even the fire flickering in the hearth became tired and fell asleep. The roast stopped sizzling, and the cook, who was just about to pull the kitchen boy’s hair because he had done something wrong, let him go and fell asleep. Finally, the wind died down so that not a single leaf stirred on the trees outside the castle. Soon, a briar hedge began to grow all around the castle, and it grew higher each year. Eventually, it surrounded and covered the entire castle, so that it was no longer visible. Not even the flag on the roof could be seen. Eventually the princess became known as “beautiful, sleeping Briar Rose,” and a tale about her began circulating throughout the country. From time to time, princes tried to break through and get to the castle. However, this was impossible, because the thorns clung together tightly as though they had hands, and the young men got stuck there. Indeed, they could not pry themselves loose and died miserable deaths. 

After many, many years had gone by, a prince came to this country and heard an old man talking about a briar hedge. Supposedly, there was a castle standing behind the hedge and in the castle there was a remarkably beautiful princess named Briar Rose, who had been sleeping for a hundred years along with the king and queen and their entire court. The old man also knew from his grandfather that many princes had come and had tried to break through the briar hedge, but they had got stuck and died wretched deaths. “I am not afraid!” said the prince, “I intend to see the beautiful Briar Rose!”

The good old man tried his best to dissuade him, but the prince would not heed his word. Now the hundred years had just ended, and the day of which Briar Rose was to wake up again had arrived. When the prince approached the briar hedge he found nothing but little flowers that opened of their own accord and let him through, like a hedge. In the courtyard, he saw the horses and the spotted hunting dogs lying asleep. The pigeons were perched on the roof and had tucked their heads beneath their wings. When he entered the palace, the flies were asleep on the wall, the cook was still holding his hand as if he wanted to grab the kitchen boy, and the maid was sitting in front of the black chicken that she was about to pluck. As the prince continued walking, he saw the entire court lying asleep in the hall, with the king and queen beside the throne. Then he moved on, and everything was so quiet he could hear himself breathe. 

Finally, he came to the tower and opened the door to the small room where Briar Rose slept. There she lay in her beauty, so marvelous that he could not take his eyes off of her. And then, he leaned over and gave her a kiss, and when his lips touched hers Briar Rose opened her eyes, woke up, and looked at him fondly. After that, they went downstairs together and the king and queen woke up along with the entire court and they all looked at each other in amazement. Soon, the horses in the courtyard stood up and shook themselves. The hunting dogs jumped around and wagged their tails, the pigeons on the roof lifted their heads from beneath their wings, looked up and flew off into the fields. The flies on the wall continued crawling, the fire in the kitchen flared up, flickered, and cooked the meat, the roast began to sizzle again, and the cook gave the kitchen boy such a box on the ear that he let out a cry while the maid finished plucking the chicken.

The wedding of the prince with Briar Rose was celebrated with great splendor, and lived happily to the end of their day. 

LORRIE

[with a bad taste in his mouth] Reaaaally can’t say I’m a big fan of the whole, like...lack of consent thing? Like, who just kisses some sleeping 115 year old? Like jesus fuck, get some manners! Like, why didn’t the prince just...try shaking her? Why did he just immediately kiss her- what the FUCK- 

Anyways, I couldn’t stop yawning during that recording, if that says anything about my thoughts on it. I hope I didn’t put you to sleep, at least. Whoever ends up listening to this. I think I need to go to bed. Goodnight, end recording.

[demaury]

the best of me (prologue)

“If anything bad happens I flush the rings, I leave my bestman spot to Baz, and I fly back to Paris."

OR. Eliott and Lucas have never worked up the courage to actually make a move, and thus spent years dancing around each other without ever acknowledging their feelings. However, an engagement party gone a little too wild, an hotel room and a very bad idea might be all it takes to make everything blow up. (read on ao3)

 June 2015

LUCAS

Today 18:44

dude i finally got 5min to read what you sent

your miND

you think so?

idk, i feel like it might sound too dramatic

i already got a

i’m already the drama

POLARIS was dramatic

i should have never told you about this

bold of you to assume i’d have never found out about it

no seriously, your intake on that adam/eve thing is awesome

careful Lallemant you’re overdoing it

doubting my taste?

only a little ;)

fuck off i have GREAT taste

i can come up with ten examples of why i’m right to be scared

starting with your beloved sweatpants

that’s what i get for being nice to you?

you hurting my feelings?

:D

stop pouting already

i do what i want

how do you even know i’m pouting

i could be doing yoga and being extremely relaxed

ahaha no you’re not

you don’t knOW

i’ve known you for eight years, i do know

whatever

another particularly intense writing session tonight then?

nah, I’m going to some party at Alex’s school

wanna join?

i can’t

apparently staying home a friday night for the third week in a row is a big no no

who said

what are your plans then?

yann set me up for a date

ah

oh oka

so you’re dating now

and who’s the lucky guy?

a friend of arthur’s

i don’t really know him but he seems nice

yann says i can’t roll with grindr forever

wise words

easy for you to say people fight for you

doesn’t mean I care

i’d fight for you

what can i say ;) i ain’t complaining

anyway, be careful

yes sir

    March 2016

LUCAS

Today 9:41

i’m never drinking again

my head hurts so fucking much

you’re still able to write full sentences without mixing letters

i’m taking that as a good sign

take an efferalgan ahaha

they’re too far away

can you come over and get them for me? ;(

i can’t come right now i’ve got lots of stuff to do for uni

ask idriss to come and kiss it better

i don’t want

i don’t want idriss I miss y

idriss can die

it’s his fault i'm in this state

because you drunk too much?

i did drink too much

that’s a fair point

but it was to pretend that i was too drunk to talk with the girl he tried to set me up with

wait since when idriss is doing shit like this

since i told him

i told him to fuck off about

i don’t know

i don’t think he’ll try again tbh

why?

i threw up

what, right now? you okay?

no last night

i threw up on the girl

you threw up on a girl

i threw up on the girl

you fucking know you’ll never live this one down?

don't worry she promised the same

tho she looked mildly scary

a lot more than mildly actually

i think i just broke a rib

what?

oh ffs stop laughing

i'm very very sick

you’re just drunk, hangover never killed anyone

drama queen

anyway, i gotta go

stay hydrated and get some sleep

can i call you later?

if i’m still alive i mean

what do you think duh

ofc

   May 2017

LUCAS

Yesterday 14:56

idriss called me

he told me what happened

 look, i know you don't want to talk right now

and it's fine, i totally get it

 Yesterday 18:01

i just want you to know that i'm here

i will always be, remember?

 Yesterday 19:36

it's gonna be okay

i promise

Today 07:44

i told macha to fuck off

i need you

i’m sorry

on my way

   September 2017 

LUCAS 

Today 11:31

wait wtf happened with will?

he gone

where?

his mother country i guess

‘to fuck himself’ isn’t an available option on a GPS

wanna expand?

i want to drink and not talk about him

i can do that

we can do that

he didn’t deserve

   June 2019

  LUCAS

Today 17:14

remind me again why Yann couldn't wait to come back for his engagement party?

he's your best friend you should know him well enough by now

he said it'd be fun

but we're literally travelling to spain for a weekend

we ALL live in paris isn't that cool enough?

you haven't been out of town for months

maybe years at this point

i have tons of work

and i've got everything i need here

well, not this weekend

c'mon it IS gonna be fun

fine

but if anything bad happens i flush the rings

i leave my bestman spot to baz

and i fly back to paris

why are you tell ME this?

i'm not the one getting married

bc i won't have the balls to tell that to yann

you're such a softie ;) 

fuck off

come over i need some help to start packing

[crashdevlin]

Fine

Author’s Note: This is part three of the Happily Ever Eventually series.

Summary: Y/n is determined to go to the Vegas Convention, despite her OB/GYN’s warnings not to travel and Jensen’s protests.

Pairing(s): Jensen Ackles X Reader

Word Count: 5040

Warnings: Fluff, pregnancy, labor stuff, descriptions of a c-section, a small allusion to polyamory

“Okay, but you’re about to pop. You sure you wanna do this?” Jay asked, a slightly worried look in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve got two weeks ‘til I’m due, honey, and Nova was late, so we’re fine.” I smiled and pressed my lips to his cheek. “I promised Adam I’d do Vegas this year, I can’t bitch out because I’m kinda close to time to get this kid cut out of me, Jay.”

“And if you go into labor in Nevada when your doctor is in Florida?”

“I’m sure there are Obstetric Surgeons in Vegas. Stop worrying.”

“What’d Dr. Sexton say?”

I sighed, shaking my head. “She thinks it’s a bad idea to travel in my condition, but-”

“Then, why are you going?”

“Because I want to! Because I haven’t been to a convention in months and some of the fans actually really want me there and I hate sitting at home doing nothing and I miss you when you’re gone and I’m really fucking pregnant and if I do go into labor, I want it to be wherever you are.” I bit my lip, looking down at my protruding belly. “I want to be with you, Jay. Please, don’t make me cancel.”

He smiled, softly, and put both hands on my belly as he bent to catch my eyes. “I couldn’t make you do anything, baby girl. Wouldn’t. I want you with me, too. I just worry. Okay, guess you’re coming. But if Mav ends up with a Nevada birth certificate, I’m blaming you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hate that they killed Tara off instead of writing the baby in. Dean would be such a good dad!”

I raised my eyebrows at the fan on the sidelines of the auditorium. “Did they kill Tara off? Did we actually see her die? I really don’t remember. My life has been super crazy over the last eight months. Did we really kill her?” The audience shouted out ‘yes’, but a few responded with, “No one ever stays dead!” “Ah, but she’s not a Winchester, or Castiel. She’s not one of Chuck’s faves. She’s just a witch and a love-interest. How many of those have ever come back, right?”

I shrugged. Of course, Tara was coming back but I wasn’t supposed to let them know that. “Anyway, Dean is a good dad! Look at Jack!” I chuckled. “Thank you for your kind words. I’ll tell the writers that they’re assholes for not writing the baby in.” I swiveled to the other side of the stage. “Hi!”

“Hi! I was wondering, how did Tom react to you getting with Jensen?”

I nodded. “Um, he… huh, he did not take it well. Um… he sent… sorry, let me rephrase for the legal team… A box full of vacuum-sealed rat carcasses was sent to my parents’ home addressed to me. There was no return address, but even the cops said it was probably sent by someone who was quote, ‘Unhappy about my new relationship’.” I smiled, brightly. “I responded by sending him copies of my ultrasound pictures and one of me giving him the finger.”

I cleared my throat. “I mean, really, I expected a lot more backlash from him. The man literally thought he owned me, so… it was an ordeal. There were some letters sent, anonymous of course, calling me all sorts of names, and someone dox’ed me in Tom’s name, but there were some very awesome feminist hackers that worked to get my information taken down, so… I will say that, uh, Tom’s fans were more pissed off about me getting with Jensen than some of you guys and that blows my mind. I guess they thought I broke his heart or cheated on him or something and they… didn’t take kindly.”

“So, have you come up with a name for the baby, yet?” the next fan asked.

“Yes. But it’s a surprise, so… You guys’ll find out in a few weeks, I promise.”

“When you got with Jensen the first time, was that before or after the scene in Sleeping Beauty in the library?”

I laughed. “It was before and therefore super awkward. Like, it was a huge deal to Richard that he was the one directing the ep where Dara became canon so his enthusiasm was a bit weird and I had just broken up with Tom that morning and the day before was the first time I'd spoken to Jay in months and kissing him was this huge scary thing that I guess I over prepared for. We did the first take and then Richard says ‘Well it looks like you've prepared for this, put a lot of thought into it, but I need you to be more surprised when he kisses you’. So I said, you know, that I had prepared and he said ‘It's called Acting, sweetheart’ and then he sent me of to prepare to look unprepared. Several minutes later, Jensen walks up, starts talking about Jare and him taking me to dinner to celebrate me coming to my senses about Tom and I started to respond and then he just grabs my head and kisses me. Well, they were trying to catch me off-guard and it fuckin’ worked. I'm not angry about it. The footage was perfect, but it's not exactly the first kiss story I wanna tell our kid about.”

“How did you guys even… get together? That sounds rude, but I'm just so curious. I mean, you guys were friends, then Tom came in and tore you away from him and then you came back and… what, when Danneel filed for divorce, you and Jensen fell into bed?”

“Um, no. Uh, there was always this sexual tension between us, which I genuinely thought was imagined for a very long time. I really thought it was wishful thinking or just that kinda funny sexual humor shit he does with Misha, but it was always there, and when I was with Tom, I realized how much I missed Jensen. Like, I was predisposed to fall in love with Jay. I was half in love with him from the get and… when he told me that Dee was divorcing him, I cried with him. After yelling at him to fix it, of course. I mean, I’d just broken up with Tom, so I didn't want another relationship to die when I was building my own a pyre. But we cried together and that's when I knew… that's when I knew I really loved him, because I knew that the two of us together, we could handle anything. Broken hearts, busted careers, terrible exes, nothing could touch me if I had Jay.”

A few loud ‘Awww's broke through the noise and I chuckled. “I expected it to be this unrequited thing and I was gonna be okay with that, but… but then Danneel filed for divorce and Jensen needed me to be there for him and… the two of us together, we handled it.”

“And then you got to handle him,” the fan said.

I laughed. “You’re right. And I’m sure y’all are fishing for some personal information on us gettin’ together, but… Jay’s pretty private so…” There were boos across the auditorium and I laughed again. “Okay… so… I’ll tell you that, uh, he’s...just as awesome as you assume.”

“What is your response to Tom saying that you were Jensen’s mistress way back in 2017?” another fan asked.

“The man sent me dead rats because he didn’t like me dating Jensen. I’m not responding to any ridiculous accusations he has.”

The next few questions were about the show. “If there were a way to bring Tara back, do you think you’d do it?” “When you were just friends with Jensen, was it hard to do the flirty scenes?” “Have the boys ever pranked you before?” “Misha said he made you a gift for the baby shower. What was it?”

I glowed at that question. I saw it in the videos and pictures later. My whole face lit up at that question, despite the cramping pain starting up in my abs. I ran my hand across my belly. “A fucking crib! He made a solid oak crib, with a changing station, a place for a laundry basket, and an alcove to put a diaper pail! The side also removes so that it can become a regular toddler bed when the kid gets old enough. It’s fuckin’ gorgeous, too! I can’t believe Misha didn’t post pics of it when he was making it!”

“Why don’t you?!” someone in the audience shouted.

“Uh, because he etched the kid’s name on it and I said that’s a fuckin’ surprise.” I hissed in pain and cleared my throat as Louden Swain took the stage behind me. “Oh, and I guess that’s gonna have to be the end, you guys! I will see you guys at SNS!”

“You okay?” Bri asked when I made it to the Green Room.

I nodded. “I’ve just got really bad heartburn again. I’ve got Tums in my bag.”

“You aren’t gonna go into labor, are you? Because I think Jensen would probably be pretty pissed off if you had that baby while he was on a plane,” Kim said, walking up to me with a bottle of water.

“I’m not in labor. I just have heartburn. Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure? You want someone to drive you to the hospital?” Misha asked, kneeling down in front of where I was sitting on the little loveseat sofa. Kim, Bri and Adam Fergus all muttered in agreement, offering to call a car and go with.

I shook my head at them. “I’m not missing my first Saturday Night Special in eight months just because I’ve got heartburn. It’s fine.” Their mutters turned to ones of disbelief and I rolled my eyes. “Seriously! My water has not broken, I’m not having contractions, I’ve got two weeks ‘til Maverick is supposed to come out, leave me alone.” I hissed again as a cramp rolled across my lower half.

“You sure you’re not having contractions, sweetie?” Bri asked with a small smile on her lips.

“They’re just Braxton-Hicks. They’re not regular, they don’t hurt anywhere near as bad as the real ones. Again, I’m fine. Go away.”

“Did you bring your hospital bag with you, just in case?” Misha asked.

I groaned. “Of course I did! Do you really think Jensen would let me travel two thousand miles without bringing my comfort bag? Now, come on. Go do something else. I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Are you gonna be able to sing tonight?” Rob asked, walking into the Green Room as I lied down on my side.

“I’m definitely going to sing tonight. I can’t promise it’ll be my best performance, but I’m gonna do it.”

“If she doesn’t give birth before then.” I threw my water bottle at Misha’s head, but I was lying down so it missed.

“Okay, okay. Leave her alone.” Misha retrieved the bottle and handed it back to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Bri and Kim text-” Jay said, walking in and dropping his bag on the floor next to the loveseat.

“I’M FINE!” I shouted. He raised his eyebrows at me. “I’m sorry, honey. They just… They’ve been so… I’m hormonal, that’s all. Hi, I missed you.” I sat up and moved to stand but he just leaned down and wrapped me in a hug.

“You sure you’re good to-”

“Yes! Yes, I’m good. I’m good to get on stage and sing, Jay. I’m not in labor. Calm down.”

“Okay. They had me worried.”

“I would have called you if I were in labor. I would be at the hospital telling the doctors not to cut me open until you showed up.”

He chuckled. “I can just imagine that, you screaming at the doctors not to touch you ‘til I get there.”

“Exactly. And at least I can trust you not to look behind the curtain when they tell you not to.”

“What curtain?” Misha asked, walking up.

“When they start the c-section, they’re gonna have a plastic curtain up so that I can be in the OR with her, sitting by her head and keeping her calm while they cut her open.” He chuckled. “Nate looked behind the curtain; got to see y/n’s intestines and insides. It, apparently, scarred him.”

“Deserved it.” I laughed. “He almost fainted!”

“Well, I will be looking at your gorgeous face, so you won’t have to worry about that.”

“You really think my face is gonna look gorgeous when I’m in labor? I’m gonna be all sweaty and red and-”

“Bullshit. They’re gonna give you an epidural and you’re not gonna be feeling a damn thing.”

“Oh, I hope it lasts the whole surgery this time.” Misha and Jay both raised their eyebrows at me. “I haven’t told you this? The epidural wore off halfway through Nova’s birth. They had to give me more anesthetic… after I finally convinced them that I wasn’t feeling pressure, I was feeling pain, which took about ten minutes. Nova’s birth was sucky for everybody, even her. She was purple when they pulled her out, wasn’t breathing. I’m sure Maverick’s gonna be a lot easier.”

“I hope so. I don’t know how I’d deal if Mav wasn’t breathing,” Jay said.

“You’d cry,” I answered.

“Yeah, probably,” he admitted. “Come on. Let’s go get dressed for the SNS.” He helped me up from the loveseat and picked up his bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pain in my stomach got more persistent as the night progressed. Okay, so I was in labor, but I had important shit going on and I could power through pain. My water hadn’t broken and there were still six minutes between contractions, so I knew that going to the hospital wasn’t going to help anything.

I wore a cute purple maternity dress and the cutest ballet flats I owned. Jared insisted on helping me onto the stage, even though there was a handrail on both sides of the stairs. It was endearing, but also hilarious. Billy handed me a microphone as Jared bounced down the stairs. “You ever notice that men seem to think you’re an invalid once you get so pregnant you can’t see your feet? I mean, I worked a retail job until right before I popped with Nova.”

“You gonna be jumping around like you used to do, then?” Rob asked.

“You’re hilarious, Robbie. No, if I start jumping around, I might dislodge this kid and no one wants that… except me and Jay and both of our families and all of the kids… what was I talking about?”

“Pregnancy brain. You were gonna sing for us, y/n/n,” Rob responded.

“Oh, yeah! Mary Lambert. Duh.” I laughed, louder than normal to hide a whimper as another contraction tore through me. Adam Malin stood at the keyboard and started to play. “I’m a million miles away, from anywhere. Slide my hands across the sheets, pretend you’re there. But missin’ you is a slow burn, And every time the earth turns, I’m reminded the night is only half the time. Even though I’m hurtin’ I know that this is worth it. Tell me it’ll be all right. Gotta give me something to get me through the nothin’. One more night.” Stephen came in with heavy drums as the chorus started.

“Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. Oh, I-I got you, And I-I can get through, anything as long as I can see your face. But right now, you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.” There were not an overwhelming amount of people who were singing along, but that’s okay. I wasn’t really singing for them. I was singing for me and Jay, listening right behind the big black curtain. “I don’t need a map to tell me where you are. You and I, we come from the same star. Every day is a heartache. And every night I lie awake, I’m reminded the bed is only half mine. Even when I’m hurting I know that this is worth it. Tell me it’ll be all right. Gotta give me something to get me through the nothing, One more night. Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you. And I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. But right now, you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.”

I bit my lip as another contraction hit me. Much quicker than the six minute interval from before. Maybe four minutes this time. I gripped the mic tighter and kept singing into the bridge. The show must go on and all that. As Freddie Mercury said, “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

“Nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the for love. Nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time, nobody’s got the time for love.” I took a deep breath and poured my heart into the last chorus. “Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you, and I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear. I’m a better person when I have you here. I-I got you, and I-I can get through, Anything as long as I can see your face. But right now you’re so far away, so far away. You’re so far away, so far away.”

The audience exploded as the song finished and tears started rolling down my cheeks, completely without asking me if I wanted to cry. “Oh, god you guys are so awesome! I missed this so much! Thank you for making this SNS worth it!”

Jared rushed the stage to help me down and Jay smiled at me. “How you doin’, Baby Girl?”

“I’m good, Jay. Rock the house for me.”

He winked at me and jumped up onto the stage. “Las Vegas!” Screaming from the audience as I took a seat on the stairs. I wanted to hear him, but the contractions were killing me at this point. “What’d you think of my girl’s song?!” More screaming, a little bit of blushing from me. “Her voice is so freakin’ awesome! Hate to have to follow that, man! But I will, with an equally sappy song that’s got the bonus of being about sex.” Stephen started to drums and I smiled. Matt Nathanson, ‘Come On Get Higher’. I love that song.

“I miss the sound of your voice. And I miss the rush of your skin. And I miss the still of the silence, As you breathe out and I breathe in. If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next, I’d make you believe. I’d make you forget. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.” I turned to see if I could see him through the curtain, but he was on the other side of the stage. “I miss the sound of your voice, The loudest thing in my head. And I ache to remember, All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said. If I could walk on water, If I could tell you what’s next, I’d make you believe. I’d make you forget. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.”

I smiled, knowing what part was coming next. My favorite part of the song. “I miss the pull of your heart. I taste the sparks on your tongue. I see angels and devils and God when you come… on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!” He didn’t even try to hit that high note, but it sounded better without it. “Sing sha la la. Sing sha la la la.” He went to humming after that, obviously avoiding the high-pitched ‘ooh’s.  “So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, And drown me in love. So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire and the swing of your hips. Just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.”

“You okay?” Jared asked over the sound of the fans screaming themselves hoarse.

“Yup,” I lied.

“Okay. You’re just holding off until Jensen gets done singing, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

“How close are they?”

“Every four minutes or so. I’d say they aren’t very strong, but I have a pretty good pain tolerance, so… eye-dee-kay. I sang through one, so they can’t be that strong.”

“Uh-huh. I’m gonna tell him.”

I looked up at him. I couldn’t stop him from going up those stairs if I tried. “Please don’t. I wanna hear ‘Simple Man’. After. Please.” Jared sat next to me on the steps and ran his hand over my back. Unfortunately, halfway through the second chorus, my water broke all over the steps and the floor under them. Jared jumped up before I could ask him to stop and ran onto the stage. The music cut out and I could hear all kinds of whispering.

“We’re sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday Night Special, but I’m going to have to steal Jensen away. His girlfriend’s water just broke so he has somewhere he’s gotta be,” Jared explained over the microphone as Jay ran through the curtain and helped me up.

“How long have you been in labor?” he demanded.

“Um… contractions started at 2, but they didn’t get regular until about forty-five minutes ago.”

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Before the show even started?! What the-”

“I wanted to hear you sing! I haven’t been to a con in forever!” I defended. “Besides, this kid isn’t coming out without a surgeon’s permission, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Clif!” Clif showed up with my delivery bag in hand, and he and Jensen drove me to the hospital. We went to the ER, where they were upset because I, you know, wasn’t supposed to be there. Jensen was loud and intimidating about it. “Of course we’re not registered with your Labor and Delivery! We’re here working and she wasn’t due for another two freakin’ weeks. We need an emergency c-section done!”

They argued about that. They didn’t understand why I need the cesarean, so I had to explain it to them. Eventually, after being in pain for hours, after Jay being on edge the entire time we were in the ER, they got me into an OR and gave me an epidural and set up that curtain. Jensen kept his eyes on my face. He kept my right hand clasped between his hands. He kissed my knuckles and told me that I was the most amazing and beautiful woman he’d ever seen, even with a cap on my head and a hospital gown on and half of my insides out. “You know what that probably looks like?” I asked, nodding at the curtain. He shook his head. “No Rest For The Wicked. When Dean got torn to shit by hellhounds. Probably looks like that.”

He shook his head. “Don’t make me wanna look on the other side of this curtain, Baby Girl. I gotta be smarter than Nate.”

“Already smarter than him.”

A small cry from the other side of the OR caught our attention. It was hoarse, crackly, the first time those vocal chords had ever been used. Jensen squeezed my hand as tears started to roll down into my hairline. “Hear that?” he whispered. I nodded. “He’s got some lungs on him.”

“Well, his parents are both singers so…” I took a deep breath. “They’re gonna make you leave in a minute. They gotta close me up and take me to Recovery before they give me a room. Take a bunch of pictures of him in the nursery, because I’m gonna be in Recovery for like two hours, mostly sleeping and Nate fucked up and didn’t get the pictures of Nova in the nursery and-”

Jensen kissed my knuckles again as the nurse told him he’d have to leave so that they could close. “I’m smarter than Nate, remember? I’ll get you a bunch of pictures, Baby Girl.”

I passed out in Recovery, woke up as I was being transferred to my room. The first words out of my mouth when I settled into the new bed were, “When can I see him?”

“You can see pictures right now. Maverick Maxwell Ackles. Seven pounds, ten ounces. 19 inches long. Forcibly removed from his mother at 1:24 am on December 29.” Jensen walked in with his phone in hand. “You wanna see?”

“What kinda question is that?” I groaned. “Of course I wanna see. Show me what our son looks like.”

“Tiny, wrinkly and adorable,” Jay said, leaning over to show me his phone screen.

I gasped and started crying as he flipped through the pictures he took of Mav. ‘Tiny, wrinkly and adorable’ was exactly right. “He’s so beautiful. Look at those tiny hands,” I squealed.

The nurse smiled as I grabbed the phone and flipped it to show her. “Oh, he’s perfect.”

“C-section babies don’t get the smooshed face. Oh, god, look at those eyes. You think he’s gonna have your eyes?”

“We can only hope,” Jensen said, smiling. “Hey, uh, you mind if I start bringing people in? I know we can’t have too many people in here at this time of night, but they’ve been sitting in the waiting room for hours. They all rushed over here as soon as they closed out the show.”

“You can bring in two at a time,” the nurse said.

“When do I get to hold Maverick?” I asked. It was more important than seeing our friends.

“Soon. Bring in a few of your friends. I’ll bring Maverick in as soon as the doctors allow it, all right?” the nurse said with a smile.

I nodded, turning to Jay. “Kim and Bri first. I want the mommas with me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I made Jay go to the convention the next day. I was sleeping most of the day away, anyway, because the pain meds made me so sleepy. The room was full of cards and vases of flowers from fans and friends by the time I got released. We couldn’t even take them all with us. We drove to Austin. I slept through most of it, really only waking up to feed Maverick every once in a while. When we got to Jay’s house in Lago Vista, I was ready to climb in bed and heal. I gasped in surprise when Jay opened the door to reveal our families. The kids rushed us. I had to stop Nova short with a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, baby! Well, you’re not the baby, anymore.”

“I got to fly in an airplane!” Nova said, excitedly.

“Your boyfriend bought us all tickets,” my mom said, smiling. She gestured at the baby carrier. “Can I?”

I nodded and she moved to unclip Mav as Jay picked up Birdie in one arm and Arrow in the other. I looked across the living room at Danneel, who was hiding a bit in her hair. We hadn’t spoken. Not since before the divorce, not since before Tom, not since the park. I stepped away from Jensen’s side and approached. “Thanks for bringing them. I mean, it’s important for Jay.”

Danneel took a deep breath, moved her hair out of her face and smiled. “It’s important for me, too, that they know him. He’s their little brother. I wouldn’t keep them away from him.”

“I thought… maybe, ‘cause…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, y/n. I think…” She looked over my shoulder at my parents and the kids and Jensen, who were all fawning over the baby. “I think if I hadn’t gotten so jealous of the way Jensen fell for you, if I hadn’t tried to minimize it, we wouldn’t have fallen apart. Maybe we all could have been happy.”

I shook my head, disbelieving. “You don’t blame me?”

“No, sweetie. I tried real hard, but… you did everything right. You were content to be a good friend until I brought you into our craziness. You left when you thought you might be able to minimize the damage. I should have helped Jay through the hurt your leaving caused him, but instead I just got upset that he was in so much pain. In a perfect world, we could have been one big happy family. I wish I'd seen that back then.”

I sighed. “He still loves you, you know? I didn't understand it either, how he could love us both, but… he loves us both.”

She smiled, brightly. “I know.”

“Maybe it's not too late for a perfect world,” I suggested. Maybe it was a consequence of my residual guilt from their divorce that drove me to say it, maybe it was just me wanting Jensen to have everything his heart desires, but once the words had left my mouth I knew that I would have absolutely no problem sharing his heart. ‘One big happy family’ actually sounded amazing.

“Maybe not, sweetie. Maybe not. Now, can I see that little boy?” I nodded and turned, leading Dee to the couch where my mom was cooing over Mav.

“Everything okay?” Jay whispered, as Danneel sat next to Mom and took Maverick’s tiny hand in hers.

I looked up at him, smiling. “Yeah, honey. I think everything’s actually gonna be fine.”

OPEN/SOMETHING MORE

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[midtownvaledictorian]

Truth or Drink

Bringing Peter to a party causes more upset than you would’ve imagined...

(3,000 words)

Warnings: drinking, some violence, Peter being dorky af

A/N: this ended up WAY longer than I was expecting lol. also, this is my first time writing about Peter so let me know what you guys think! and as always, request are OPEN :)

It was finally here, the last week of high school. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved my years at Midtown Tech, but I was so ready for a change of pace. This was really the last, and kinda the first, week of fun for you. Scholastic Decathlon was last month, so seniors didn’t have to go to practice anymore. The last orchestra concert was two weeks ago, so no more rehearsal. And the Queens of Cheer Competition was last week, so no more tumbling for me. In high school, I made myself the total package so that I would be guaranteed to get into Columbia. The plan worked of course, but it made me miss out on a lot in high school. I never really went to parties because I was always so busy, and after graduation I was starting a full-time job at the library to help pay for college. But that was okay, because I was finally going to a big party this Friday. I had so much lost time to make up for, and the guy who was hosting it has had a huge crush on me since sophomore year. Even though I wasn’t interested, I wasn’t going to say no to free alcohol and a good time. 

It was Tuesday, just three more days until freedom. I was sitting at lunch with all of my friends and we were talking about the party. “So, Y/N, are you going to ask anyone to be your date to the party on Friday?” One of my friends asked. “Probably not, there’s only one guy I’d want to ask and I doubt he’d be into it.” I replied, hoping my friends would drop it. “Oh c’mon, who is it?” “No, trust me, you wouldn’t even want to know. He’s a junior anyways so he probably wouldn’t come.” I looked over at the boy: Peter Parker. He was a year younger than me, but I couldn’t help my attraction to him. He was just so smart and sweet, and didn’t make a big deal about his intelligence like most of the assholes at this high school. We were on the Decathlon team together, I always tried to make a move on him, but he was either oblivious or not interested. He didn’t care about sports or any of the dumb stuff I had to pretend to like, mostly because he had no reason to. He could get into any school he wanted to with his academics alone, so he could focus on the things he actually cared about, and I loved that about him. When he caught me staring I shot my head back to my friends. “There are gonna be tons of juniors there, just ask him.” “You guys just don’t get it,” I groaned. But the grilling didn’t stop. “Do you have any classes with him? Does he play sports? Was he in orchestra with you? Give us a hint!” They just wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t handle it anymore. “It’s Peter!!!” I yelled and immediately put a hand over my mouth. The entire cafeteria grew quiet. Everyone was staring at me, I turned back to see Peter staring at me with a confused look. “Fuck me,” I muttered while grabbing my bag and walking out of the cafeteria. Thank god I had a free period after lunch and I could hide in the library for an hour or so. I found my little spot in the corner of the library by the window, put on my headphones, and started listening to my ‘calm down’ playlist. It definitely wasn’t doing its job though, and nothing could calm me down enough for what was about to happen. Something brushed up against my leg so I looked up to see Peter situated himself on the couch across from mine. This day couldn’t get any worse. “Hey,” he said nervously. I let out a deep sigh before replying, “Hey Peter.” “So, uhh, what was that about?” “I’m so sorry about that, my friends were just hounding me trying to figure out who I wanted to bring to the party on Friday and I just blew up. God, it was so embarrassing.” “Wait, you want to take me to the party?” “Well… yeah. I know you’d never come with me though so, don’t worry about it.” “I’m still confused here, why would you ever want to take me to a party?” “What do you mean?” “Oh c’mon, Y/N, you’re you. You’re a cheerleader, everyone loves you, the entire male population of Queens would kill to take you out, and probably most females.” “Wait, so does that mean you’d come?” “What?” “To the party, you’ll come? I’d really love for you to be there, it’s the first time I’m going to a party and I think you’d make me feel more comfortable.” “This isn’t some kind of prank right? Like you’re not going to give me the address to some abandoned lot where the entire football team jumps me while the cheerleaders record?” “God, no Peter! I really, really want you to come. You can bring Ned along! Besides, you’ll technically be a senior Friday night, it’d be a pretty good way to start off your senior year.” “Uhh, okay, yeah. I’ll be there.” I was beaming as I sprung up from my coach to give him a hug, “Oh, thank you Peter! I’ll text you the address, yeah?” Then ran off to tell my friends about my encounter.

“Peter Parker? The whiz kid? He’s really coming to the party?” “Yes! I think it’ll be really fun, besides if he’s there, you guys won’t even have to take care of me if I drink too much! I doubt he’ll have more than one beer.” “No offense, Y/N, he seems like a really sweet kid, but Logan Barrett is like, in love with you. He’s the captain of the football team and he has a house in the Hamptons.” “He also bought his way into Duke and bullied me all of freshman year for being the only girl in robotics club.” “That was because he liked you. You do you girl, but you could be passing up a real snag.” I just rolled your eyes and made my way to AP Chem.

Friday had finally come. The rest of the week I stole little smiles from Peter as I passed him in the hallway. I couldn’t believe how nervous and safe he made me feel all at the same time. 2:40 had rolled around and all of the seniors made their way into the main lobby. The teachers tried to keep us in class, but fuck it, there were five minutes left of high school and we all wanted to be together when it ended. I found my friends at 2:43, we just stood there in silence, watching the clock tick by. When finally, RINGGG. We all started cheering and hugging, some were even crying. “We fucking did it!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, not caring that the principal was standing just a few feet away. I rushed out of the front doors with everyone else and started towards the train with my friends. We were chatting about “a new chapter” when I felt someone grab my arm. I was half expecting Peter, but was disappointed to see Logan.
“You’re coming tonight, right?” He asked. I nodded my head yes. “Awesome, I can’t wait to see you get wild for once,” he winked before walking off. My friends were freaking out, but I was just uncomfortable. God I hoped he wouldn’t try anything at the party.

When I got home my mom wanted to hear all about my last day, but I was just worried about looking nice for Peter. I scarfed down dinner before rushing off to my room. My mom walked in as I was finishing my makeup, I knew she was about to give me a talk about drinking. When I turned on my curling iron, she knew something was up. “Trying to look nice for someone special tonight?” She asked with a huge grin. I had never been with a boy before, but my mom was adamant that I find myself a boyfriend eventually. “Maybe,” I said grinning. “Well then I’ll leave you to it, I want to you leave for the train by seven, it’s a long ride to that Barrett boy’s house and I don’t want you out walking alone too late.” It was already 6:15, so I began tearing apart my closet looking for the best outfit for a party. I opted for a denim skirt and a cropped sweater. I finished any extra primping I found necessary and headed out to the train stop.

I had to admit, standing outside that house was terrifying. His house was huge, and the music was blasting. It looked as if almost every upperclassman from Midtown was there. Taking a deep breath, I swung open the door and was immediately greeted by my friends, all trying to hand me drinks. I knew I should’ve gone slow, but the drinks actually tasted good. I was definitely at a buzz when Peter texted me to let me know that he was here with Ned. I rushed to the front door to greet them. When I opened the front door Peter looked so nervous, he was wearing one of his dorky t shirts that I loved so much. Ned, on the other hand, had never looked so happy in his life. “Hey Y/N!” He yelled excitedly over the music, “thanks so much for inviting us, I never thought we’d get invited to a party.” Peter elbowed him in the gut, obviously getting embarrassed by his friend. “I’m so glad you guys came, you’re way more fun than most of the guys here,” I said. Peter’s face brightened when I said that. Suddenly, there was a hand around my waist and I turned to see Logan. “Peter and Ned, never thought I’d see you two at a party,” he said cockily. “Uhh, yeah. Y/N invited us, I hope that’s okay.” Peter’s smile dropped when he noticed Logan’s hand around my waist. “Of course! I’m glad you guys are here. We were actually about to go play some Truth or Drink upstairs. I’ll grab you two some beers and meet you up there.” “What’s Truth or Drink?” Peter asked as we made our way upstairs. “I’m not really sure to be honest, but it sounds fun!” Typically a game like that would sound awful, but the alcohol was definitely kicking in and I felt way more ballsy than I normally would. There was only one more spot left on the couch, so Peter and Ned stood next to it. Logan handed the both of them a beer, which Peter sipped on cautiously. “So, I’m sure you all could figure out the rules,” Logan began, “you get asked truth, or dare. If you’re too much of a pussy to do it, you take a shot.” He slammed down a bottle of Svedka and a few shot glasses. “Lets get started. Peter.” He looked absolutely terrified. “Truth or dare?” “Uhh, truth?” “If you could fuck any girl in this room, who would it be?” God Logan was such an ass. I shot him an evil look, which he only laughed at. Peter let out a big sigh before reaching for a shot glass. I was kinda disappointed that he didn’t say me, but I brushed it off. I watched Peter take the shot, his face scrunched up as the alcohol burned his throat, causing chuckles here and there. A few more turns went by, one of my best friends had to give some junior a lap, which I think might’ve been illegal? But finally, the dreaded moment came: “Y/N, truth or dare?” It was one of the football players. “Dare.” I said cooly. “I dare you to kiss the hottest guy in this room.” I could hear the “ooooohs” coming from behind me and all of Logan’s friends were giving him elbows and winks. He clearly thought he would be my choice. I sat there for a few seconds, working up some courage. Finally I stood up and walked right up to Peter. I took his face in my hands and pressed my lips to his. He stumbled back, clearly taken by surprise. But eventually he put his hands on my waist and pulled me in even closer. I heard Logan get up as I broke the kiss, “this is bullshit.” He muttered before going downstairs. “We should probably get out of here,” I stated. “Yeah for sure, I’m one hundred percent scared of him.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his confession. When I turned to tell Ned we should all leave. He was sitting on the coach with a cheerleader in his lap. “I think he’s doing all right.”

We started walking back to the stop, the buzz was mostly gone. Talking with him felt so nice, so easy. Finally, he made a move. Quickly sliding is fingers in between mine before holding tight. “Is this okay?” He asked sheepishly. “It’s perfect.” Naturally, our perfect moment had to be ruined. “Hey Penis Parker!” We spun around to see Logan walking towards us, clearly drunk off his ass and still carrying a bottle of beer. “Fuck,” Peter mumbled. “If you really think you can come into my house, and take the girl that I was supposed to end up with, and not pay for it. You’re so wrong.” “Get over yourself, Logan.” I said, taking a bold step towards him. “We were never going to end up together. You think you’re so great because you were the football captain and your parents are rich.” “Y/N just let it go, lets leave.” Peter begged. “No! He needs to hear this. You’re not nearly as great as you think you are. People only liked you in high school because of your money. And when you go to college you’ll just have to buy all of your friends again, just like Mommy and Daddy had to buy your acceptance letter!” I should’ve seen Logan wind up, but I was clouded by rage and cheap vodka. Suddenly my face was stinging and I was on the ground. I put my hand up to my face and felt blood coming from my lip. Luckily, I looked up just in time to see Peter reel back and punch him square in the jaw. I couldn’t believe how hard he had hit him. Peter wasn’t small by any means, but he wasn’t huge, definitely not big enough to send a guy like Logan flying backwards. Logan hit the street and his bottle shattered next to him. “Peter!” I yelled in disbelief. “Shit, we gotta get out of here.” Peter dragged Logan’s unconscious body onto the sidewalk before he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the stop.

I was way too afraid to go back to my house with a busted lip and a boy my mom didn’t know, so Peter offered to let me stay at his house. His aunt would be asleep and he agreed it was a bad idea for me to go back home. I texted my mom and told her I’d be staying at a friend’s house that night, at least I wasn’t technically lying. We snuck into his apartment and he led me to his bedroom. He grabbed a first aid kit and started disinfecting the cuts on my palms and knees and gave me an ice pack for my lip. I sat on the edge of his bed, examining all of his various science fair, robotics, and Decathlon trophies. “Thank you, for protecting me back there,” I muttered as he put bandaids on my knees. “Of course, I’ll always defend you. I should’ve stopped him before he hit you, I’m so sorry.” “I can’t believe how mad I got, I’ve never spoken to someone like that before.” “Trust me Y/N, he deserved it. You, however, did not deserve this. You should really press charges.” “I think he paid for what he did, thanks to you.” I gave him a sweet smile and I could see a slight blush forming on his cheeks. “So, uhh, I can sleep on the couch and you can take my bed. May won’t come in here if she sees me on the couch so you won’t have to worry about that. Even if she saw you she wouldn’t freak out, I think.” He said while he gathered some blankets to take out to the couch with him. “Peter, I’m not kicking you out of your own bed,” I said getting up and grabbing the blankets from him. “I’ll just sleep on the floor.” “Y/N, I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor, especially not after tonight.” “We could always share your bed, if you wouldn’t mind.” “Uhh, I-I uhh, yeah, yeah of course not, I don’t mind at all.” I couldn’t help but chuckle as he stammered out his answer. “Do you wanna borrow a t shirt or some sweats?” “That’d be perfect actually, thank you Peter.” He went to his closet and dug out a pair of Midtown sweats and a t shirt. I started to strip and he quickly turned around, stammering something about being sorry. I chuckled at how innocent he was. Once I was changed he hopped into bed and got under the covers, he was about as close to the edge as he could get. I slid in next to him. “You know, Parker, I’m a cuddler. No matter how far away from me you sleep, I’m going to end up right next to you.” “I guess I better not sleep that close to the edge then,” he said scooting closer. He held an arm out, inviting me to snuggle up next to him. What a long, awful, and somehow perfect night. I was just about to fall asleep when something caught my eye. “Hey Peter?” “Hm?” He grunted into my shoulder blade. “Why is Spider-Man’s suit in your closet?”

[thefinny-d]

I’m Yours

Tagging: Finn & Rachel Location: Fancy Place Notes: When Finn’s hospital holds a charity dinner, he finds it to be an awkward situation when him and Rachel are seated at the same table as Savannah.

Finn was nervous for the night ahead of him. The hospital he worked at was having a huge, fancy charity event and while he knew ultimately it would be fun, any kind of party always made him a little anxious. He looked over at Rachel as he buttoned up his shirt and he knew that he was relieved he'd have his girlfriend by his side. After everything that had happened with Savannah, things were a little awkward between them and while he understood his friend needing space, it wasn't like they'd be able to avoid each other when they worked together. "Are you sure I look alright, babe?" he asked Rachel as he pulled on his suit jacket, him smoothing out the fabric as he looked in the mirror before he turned to face her. "I mean, you're my date to this and you look like - wow, you look like a super model and I want to make sure I look okay. I - I mean, everyone I work with is going to be there and I know that they already probably wonder how I got a girl as beautiful as you are when I'm, you know, me." Finn stopped himself from rambling before he shook his head, knowing that he needed to stop with the anxiety. "Sorry, I don't know why I always get nervous before stuff like this. I just always feel strange being around some of these people outside of work, you know? Especially like, super important people. I mean, the owner of the hospital is going to be here and the head of the oncology department is going to be there too. I think I only met him like, once before."

Rachel knew that Finn was nervous. Even if it was with people he knew, he still got nervous and she totally understood that. Plus, he had been awkward at parties ever since he was young. Rachel offered Finn a smile as she saw him look over at her. "Yeah, babe. You look sexy. I never see you dress up and you look really good." She said, a small smile on her lips. She moved over to him and ran her hands over his jacket, her fixing his shirt and unbuttoning one of the buttons. "You always look really great, but you gotta let loose a little bit. If you think I look like a super model, you gotta keep one button open. You totally look even hotter now," She said, looking up at him. She laughed gently as she let go of his shirt and went to wrap her arms gently around his waist. "It's okay. You've always been nervous. And babe, you're like... a super star over there. It'll be really great. And honestly, if you have a shitty time, we can just eat and then hang around so you can network and then we can leave. It's all up to you. But... I think you'll have a good time." She said, pulling away from him to look into the mirror, pulling her dress down a little bit. "Are you sure it's not too short? I mean, I don't want to look like I'm trying to hard and I also don't want to look like... inappropriate or anything. I mean, everyone's a doctor here." She said, sighing for a moment before looking back to Finn. "Are you ready though? I mean, I'm not changing so if it's too short I'll just ignore the looks."

Finn smiled softly when Rachel said that he looked good and when she unbuttoned one of the buttons of his shirt, he raised his eyebrows as he looked down at her. "Gotta let loose, huh? I guess I can try and do that for you. I think that you just want to start the process of getting my shirt off so it's easier when we get home," he said with a teasing smile on his face as he looked down at her. When she wrapped her arms around his waist, Finn slipped his arms around her as well and he couldn't help but smile. God, he loved her more than anything. "I don't know about a super star but I guess I am kind of impressive. You know, being the youngest doctor at the hospital. It's kind of awesome." When she pulled away from him, Finn kept his focus on his girlfriend and he bit down on his lip as she tugged down on her dress slightly. Yeah, he was going to enjoy taking that off of her later, that much he knew for sure. "Rach, you look beautiful. It's not too short, I promise. You look insanely sexy in this dress and I'm kind of excited to show off my hot fiance tonight." A smile formed on his face as he stepped closer to her, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm ready, baby. And it's not too short, I promise. You look amazing and for someone so short your legs look like they go on for miles. I'm not going to be able to focus tonight." A laugh escaped his lips before he slipped on his shoes and once they were both ready to go, they headed out of the apartment and to his car. It didn't take long to get to the venue and once they arrived, Finn took Rachel's hand in his as they headed inside. He only took a few steps inside before he was being approached by the head doctor in his department and he offered the older man a small smile. "It's good to see you, Finn. Especially out of work. I made sure you had the day off for this, there's a lot of people I think you'll be excited to meet tonight. Oh - and you must be the famous, Rachel. It's nice to meet you, especially when this guy talks about you constantly," he said with a laugh, causing Finn to flush slightly.

Rachel really didn't want to be the talk of the night because she looked inappropriate, she just wanted Finn to be able to enjoy his time out with the people he knew from the hospital. "Well, thank you." She said softly, biting down on her bottom lip as she looked up at him. She kissed him back gently before pulling away and looking up at him. "That's the good thing about me. I may be shorter than anyone else, but I mean, my legs look really long. I'm still a midget compared to you, but it's fine." She said, moving to slip on her black heels as she walked with him to the car. She kept close to Finn as soon as they arrived at the venue and she held onto his hand tightly, intertwining their fingers and looking around. It definitely was a lot tamer than the dinners and parties that she had been to, but she just wanted to enjoy her time with him and she wanted to be able to keep calm, anyway. This was about Finn, not about her getting crazy. All she was going to do was have dinner, let Finn network, and just stay in his side so she didn't wander and feel tempted by anything. When an older woman approached Finn, Rachel smiled at the man and kept her hold on Finn's hand, her laughing gently at his words. "Oh, that's not the first time I've heard that from someone who works here," She said, a wide grin on her lips before she looked up at Finn for a moment. "It's nice to meet you too, though." Rachel said with a smile, outstretching her hand to shake his for a moment. "Finn always tells me a lot about everyone he works with, so I like coming with him to these kind of events to actually put faces to the stories." She wanted to appear friendly, especially because she really didn't know what anyone knew about her. She didn't want to assume they all thought she was insane, but she wanted to just be nice to everyone and hope for the best.

Finn smiled down at Rachel as she spoke. God, he loved her. "Well, you're definitely going to be meeting a lot of those faces tonight. And some new ones. I have someone I actually want to introduce you to, Finn. For a doctor as promising as yourself, I don't think it'll be long before you start rising up in the ranks." Finn raised his eyebrows in slight shock as his superior spoke, knowing that getting any kind of promotion would be amazing. It would not only mean better pay but better hours and more time to handle his patients the way he wanted to without always having to consult with other doctors. "Find your seats and mingle, I'll find you when he gets here." Finn nodded and smiled softly at the older man before he began walking towards the table with Rachel. "This is crazy, I can't believe he's already talking about a promotion," he said excitedly. Finn knew he was a good doctor. If there was anything he was confident about, it was his intelligence and the skills that he had learned in medical school. He was ready to get out of his residency. It had been three years and he knew that he wanted to be an established doctor in his hospital, he wanted to show that he was ready for that kind of responsibility. When they reached their table and Savannah was seated across from him and Rachel, Finn offered his friend a small smile. His smile fell when she forced a small smile back before looking down, hating that it felt so awkward between them when that was the last thing he wanted. "Hey guys. Um, for those of you who haven't met her yet, this is my fiance, Rachel. Rach, this is Kate, Adam, Brittany and Jay. And you obviously know Sav." When all of his co-workers greeted Rachel, Finn smiled before he pulled out a chair for Rachel to sit before he moved to sit down beside her. "Wow, we all obviously knew Finn was engaged to you but it's cool to meet you in person. Your music is awesome," Kate said with a smile. "You're the first famous person I've ever met." Finn couldn't help but laugh as he leaned back slightly and draped his arm over the back of Rachel's chair. "This kind of party must be so tame compared to what I'm sure you're used to," Brittany said as she looked Rachel up and down.

Rachel looked at Finn as the older man talked to him, smiling slightly as he spoke. She was really happy that Finn was so well liked at the hospital, especially because he was so confident and was so sure about his skills. Finn had wanted to be a doctor since he was in high school and she was so happy that he was finally able to do what he wanted. "Finn, believe me, I mean, you're working so hard and they really like you. I mean, if he's really important and he's saying that stuff to you, he clearly believes in you." She said, smiling gently at him as he led her towards a table. "I really hope things go well for you. I want you to just... really go up in the ranks and I want you to be happy." She told him, continuing to walk. As Finn introduced her to everyone, she smiled sweetly and just kept close to Finn. This definitely wasn't what she was used to, and she really did just want to relax and let Finn enjoy this time he had with his friends. "Nice to meet you. And uhm, thanks." Rachel said, sitting down. "I'm happy to be relaxing now. I love performing but I really want to relax sometimes," She laughed, looking at his co-workers with a smile before her smile dropped slightly at the other girl's words. "Oh, well, I mean... yeah. It's a little more tame than what I'm usually attending. But I wouldn't really count this as a party... more just a work dinner. I've been to award shows that are pretty tame. I'm more than happy to have some time to relax and to enjoy some time with Finn." She said, looking away for a moment and looking over to Finn after a moment. "Is it weird to be at a work dinner like this? I feel like you only ever see your co-workers when you're actually all stressed out at work," She said, running her hand slightly through his hair. She was glad for the most part that Savannah wasn't trying anything, especially because that was really the last thing she wanted to deal with. "I like your dress, Savannah." Rachel said as she looked at the girl, offering her a small smile, hoping that it didn't look overly nice. Rachel wasn't mad at the girl all that much, but she didn't want to be friendly and make Savannah think that things were perfect between them -- especially not after the talk they had not that long ago.

Finn loved how supportive Rachel was of his career. He knew sometimes it was overwhelming and took a lot of his time and focus but she had supported him from the very beginning. God, she was the reason that he had even gone to Stanford because he knew if she hadn't pushed him, he probably wouldn't have taken the risk. When Brittany made a bitchy comment, Finn suppressed an eye roll. While he got along well with all of his co-workers, he really couldn't stand her most of the time. "I feel like this is pretty similar to an award show, really. Except no rewards. But you know what I mean." Finn smiled as he looked at Rachel, his smile only widening when she ran her hand through his hair affectionately. "A little weird. Usually we're on in white coats or scrubs and running on three hours of sleep," he said with a soft laugh. When she spoke to Savannah, he looked over to his friend who was clearly trying her best to not look at him and Rachel. God, he felt horrible that she felt uncomfortable because of her feelings for him and he wish he could think of something to say to fix everything. "Oh - thank you, Rachel. You look amazing yourself," Savannah said with a small smile, clearly relieved that Rachel didn't seem to want to kill her. As all of them talked amongst themselves (mainly about work) Finn was happy to actually feel in his element at an event like this. There were a few people from his hospital that even walked over to their table to speak specifically to him and a part of him was shocked how many people knew his name and seemed to think so highly of him. When there was a break in his conversation with Adam, Finn turned to look at Rachel with love in his gaze. He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair and he smiled softly when their eyes met. "I love you so much. And I know tonight might be a little boring but I hope you know it means the world to me that you're here. I mean, you're basically the reason I'm even here in the first place for making me go to Stanford. I'll always be so grateful to you."

Rachel just wanted to be nice to Savannah. She knew that the girl was very clearly confused and she was trying to just let her work through it on her own. Obviously, Finn was oblivious. If he was acting to not be interested in her, Rachel knew that she would have been very easily able to tell that he was acting and trying to convince her otherwise. However, she didn't see anything, and Finn wasn't that good of an actor. As Finn continued to talk with his friends, Rachel tried to keep up a little bit and insert some of her own comments, but she just let Finn do most of the talking. She wanted him to have a good time and she wanted him to be able to enjoy his friends. As he turned to her after he was taking a break from talking, she looked at him and offered him a small smile. "I love you, too." She murmured softly, still looking at him. "And please don't thank me. Finn, you could have gone anywhere and been this successful. But I know that you wanted to go there and even if it hurt us at the time, I'm just happy that you're here now." She said softly, smiling gently and leaning forward to kiss him. She kissed him softly and pulled away, trying to tell herself that they were at a dinner with his coworkers, not at home or not with their own friends where she'd keep it going for a little bit longer. When she heard Savannah clearing her throat awkwardly and saw her pick up her glass, Rachel looked back to Finn more fully. "Everything is fine, right?" She said, her hand at his cheek before she leaned forward to kiss him softly again. She looked into his eyes as she pulled away, smiling at him gently. "I feel like I don't say it enough but I'm so proud of you, Finn. I really mean it."

Finn smiled softly as he looked at Rachel. "I'm happy I'm here now too. I'm happy we're both here," he whispered before they shared a soft kiss. When she pulled out of the kiss, he bit down on his lip. He knew if they weren't at an event like this that they would probably be more like their usual selves and be way more all over each other. When Savannah awkwardly cleared her throat, Finn glanced over at her and felt his stomach drop slightly. God, he felt so bad that she was uncomfortable and he truly didn't know what to do or say around her anymore. They hadn't spoken since she had kissed him the day before and he still hadn't talked to Rachel about what had happened either since it was so difficult for him to even process the fact that it had happened. When Rachel brought her hand to rest on his cheek and asked him if everything was fine, he nodded before he responded happily to her kiss. "Thank you, baby," he breathed out as she told him that she was proud of him. "I um, I do have to talk to you about something though." A waitress came over to their table to take their orders for their three course meals and once him and Rachel had ordered, he knew he had to explain what had happened to Rachel. He couldn't sit through this dinner without her knowing everything. "Come with me for a second, Rach," he said softly as he got up from his seat. "We'll be right back guys." Finn smiled at his co-workers before he headed off with Rachel towards a secluded hallway by the bathrooms. "So, remember how I told you that Savannah was avoiding me?" he asked her as he looked into her eyes. "Well, yesterday I pulled her aside at work to ask her why and she told me that she has feelings for me. And I - she told me that you knew that already. But um, after she told me that and said that she needed space... she kind of kissed me." Finn looked down for a moment before he looked back at Rachel. "I pushed her away right when it happened but I just need you to know. Because I can sense how uncomfortable she is and I feel bad because she likes me but I've never even thought about that with her, you know? I just don't know what to do because I'm not going to not kiss you or be affectionate with you but I also hate that it's hurting her feelings. This is so confusing," he breathed out, moving to lean against the wall as he shook his head.

Rachel raised an eyebrow slightly as he said that he had to talk to her. She knew it couldn't be anything that bad, but whenever anyone said they had to talk to her, it was usually something bad. And well, she wasn't exactly interested in dealing with any kind of bad news. "Uhm, okay." Rachel said softly, looking away from him for a moment and ordering when the waitress came over to take their orders. As soon as Finn started to get up from his seat, she bit down on her bottom lip and got up to follow him, her pulling down on her dress to stop it from riding up. She followed him away from the table and into a secluded hallway, her mind immediately moving onto just him. She started to wonder if this was just an excuse to get alone time, and she knew that she'd be more than willing to go along with it. "If you're trying to sneak me away to have sex, I'm totally down." She said, laughing before standing next to Finn. Her smile dropped as he started to talk, her just nodding at his words. "Yeah, she told me." She said as he talked about Savannah having feelings for Finn. If he was freaking out about it, she really wasn't that concerned, especially because she was sure that Savannah would stay away. Rachel was positive that the girl didn't want to deal with her. She raised her eyebrow slightly, her trying to start to speak but failing to make words. "I'm sorry, she did what?" She asked, her crossing her arms over her chest slightly. "I don't give a fuck if it's hurting her feelings. I told her to stay away from you," She said as she looked at Finn, rolling her eyes before looking away for a moment. "I didn't make a big deal out of her telling me what she did because I could tell she knew you didn't want her and shit, but like... I can't believe that she fucking kissed you." She paused, groaning softly. She wasn't really mad at Finn, but she was just pissed at Savannah. "I'm not pissed at you. I just really hopes she keeps her distance because if she even gets within breathing room of you, she'll wish she stayed away. I'm not dealing with this shit, especially because she knows that you don't want her." Rachel looked at Finn, unable to really wrap her head around everything. "I know you don't want her, but just in case you ever forget, you're mine. And I can give you as many reminders of that as you'd like. Because I'm not dealing with her pushing her way in. If she does anything else to you, you better tell me. Because I swear, I'll make her wish she never even tried." She wouldn't ever do anything physical to the girl, but whatever she said to Savannah would definitely get through to her head.

Finn wished he was trying to sneak away with Rachel to have sex but he knew that the conversation he needed to have with her was the opposite of a turn on. Immediately he could tell that she was pissed and while he didn't want her to be angry at Savannah, he also understood her anger. If someone had kissed Rachel, he would be pissed off at that person as well. "I can't believe she kissed me either. I was shocked and all of a sudden her lips were on mine and I pushed her away and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she wanted to know what it would feel like and then she - she apologized and ran away. This is my first time seeing her since then," he explained. As Rachel spoke, Finn nodded, knowing that he was relieved she wasn't annoyed with him for anything. He really was clueless when it came to other girls being interested in him because his only focus was on Rachel. Since he was in high school his focus had pretty much only been on Rachel. "Baby, first of all, you know I'd tell you if anything happened. I was going to tell you last night but it just took me some time to even process what she told me. And you don't have to remind me of anything, Rachel. Every time I look at you I'm reminded of how much I love you and how lucky I am. You are everything to me and no one will ever get in the way of that, I will never let that happen." Finn smiled softly as he looked down at Rachel before he dipped his head down to press a kiss to her lips. "You're my first kiss and I know you'll be my last too," he told her as he pulled away from the kiss, his eyes meeting hers. Rachel was his everything. She was the woman he was going to marry and have a family with and while he cared about Savannah as his friend, he also wasn't going allow anything to get in the middle of his relationship. Him and Rachel had come way too far for anything or anyone to get in their way. "Do you think the rest of this night will be okay? Or should I see if we can move tables?" he asked her. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable at all because I know sitting with her is awkward."

Rachel really wanted to be more pissed off. She was extremely pissed off, but she knew that if she heard that Savannah had done anything worse, Rachel wouldn't be standing here right now, she'd be walking right towards the table to talk to her. "Fuck." Rachel said softly, looking down for a moment. "I know you'd tell me. I just want to make sure that you don't feel bad telling me anything but I want her to know that she can't do any of this. I don't want to let her just think she can do whatever she wants to resolve her feelings or whatever. She just is pissing me off because I told her the other day that she needed to stay away from you." Rachel said, sighing. She looked down at his words before looking back up at him, smiling against his lips softly. "I love you so much, but you realize that this is why she has feelings for you, right? I mean, come on, babe. You're way too nice and I love that you are the way you are, but you're perfect. And I love you for it, but you might be a little too nice to other women," She said, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "You're gonna be my last everything, too. I know it." She said, her looking up at him. Rachel really didn't think that the rest of the night would be a problem, especially because she didn't want to make things more awkward for Savannah. "No. If we leave, then she's going to feel worse. And then she's going to hate me even more because she's going to think that I said you can't sit with her or hang out with her anymore. It'll be fine. And I'm not uncomfortable. I'll continue throwing our relationship in her face. I really don't care." Rachel said, shrugging gently before moving her hands to his shirt and smoothing out a few wrinkles. "I know you're not going anywhere. But thank you for telling me and not just hiding it all from me." Rachel said, wrapping her arms around his waist before leaning up to kiss him. When she pulled away, she looked into his eyes and smiled gently. "Let's just go back so we're there for our food. Because I mean, I'm here to support you, but I'm also here for the food." She laughed, grinning as she pulled away from him slightly.

Finn nodded understandingly as Rachel spoke. "I will always tell you anything that happens, I promise. But nothing like this will ever happen again now that I know how she feels." When Rachel told him that the reason Savannah had feelings for him was because he was too nice, he sighed softly. "I uh... I'll try to be less nice? That's what Savannah told me. That I was too nice. But this is how I've always been and no one liked me in high school." A laugh escaped his lips for a moment before he shook his head, knowing that he definitely never thought anything like this would happen to him. "She doesn't have any reason to hate you but maybe I need to learn not to care too. I shouldn't hold back how I feel with you just because it might make her uncomfortable. She knew I was with you when we met and she... she needs to get that through her head and get over me." Finn knew he would still feel bad but he was really trying to just focus on him and Rachel and let everything else fall to the side. "I will always be honest with you, Rach," he breathed out as she wrapped her arms around his waist, him moving his hands to rest on her hips as they shared a soft kiss. "Very true, we can't forget the fancy food." A laugh escaped his lips as he pushed off the wall to follow after Rachel, him teasingly tugging her dress down a bit. "I'm also here for the view but I'll remind you how much I appreciate that later," he whispered in her ear before he moved his hand to the small of her back as they walked back into the dining room and towards their table. He loved being teasing and playful with Rachel, especially when he knew it drove her crazy in the best way. This was supposed to be a fun night and he wasn't about to let any drama with Savannah ruin it. When they returned to their table, Finn moved to sit down and once Rachel was seated beside him, his arm was right back to being draped over the back of her chair. "Am I gonna have to start making use three course meals for dinner to compete with events like this?" he asked her playfully as he focused solely on her while his co-workers continued to talk amongst themselves.

Rachel was glad that Finn was on the same page as her. She was glad that he wasn't concerned about showing off their relationship in front of Savannah. Honestly, Rachel didn't care at all. Rachel would make out with Finn right in front of her for all she cared. "Exactly. I mean, we just should be together and not worry about what other people think. I mean, it's her problem and she needs to get over it. I'm sorry, but just because she wants you doesn't change what I'm doing with you." She wanted to show off, if she was honest. That way, hopefully, Savannah would get over everything. Rachel grinned at Finn's words as he whispered in her ear, her looking over at him. "Mm, apparently we both have the same thing on our mind. I mean, you were the one accusing me of already trying to get your shirt off before." She said, a grin on her lips as they walked back to the table. She wanted him. Badly. But she pretty much always did -- it hadn't changed since they were young. Now? She just wanted him even more because she had spent so much time apart from him. As soon as they were sitting again, she smiled as he draped his arm across her chair and she looked over at him. "Oh, shut up. I don't need three course meals all of the time. I'll have you for dinner and then wake up and you can make me breakfast," She teased, a grin on her lips. "You spoil me at home with dinner. But I got a lot better at making food for myself and for you. I'll get better at making meals, I promise. I just need some recipes and I can give you whatever you want." Rachel looked over at the waitress as she came with one of their courses, her looking over at Finn. "I may be home more to make you dinner like a real housewife, but babe, sorry, I will never be making you a three course meal." She laughed as she went to start eating.

Finn raised his eyebrows as Rachel spoke. "You'll have me for dinner?" he asked her playfully. "I like the sound of that." It made him happy that him and Rachel were in a good place and while he felt bad for everything that was happening with Savannah, he also wasn't going to let it get in the way of his relationship with Rachel. This was his fiance and he wasn't going to allow anything or anyone to fuck up what they had. "You're good at making food, baby. I just like cooking and I like cooking for you. And I like when you distract me when I'm cooking too." When she said that she would never make him a three course meal, he couldn't help but laugh. "I don't expect you too, Rach." As he started eating his food, he glanced up and held back a sigh when he saw how quiet and uncomfortable Savannah was. He felt bad, he did, but he was trying his best to just not think about it since there was nothing that he could do. It didn't take him long to clear off his plate and as he leaned back in his chair, a content sigh escaped his lips. "Everyone has been talking about you tonight, man," Adam said. "I think you might be the first one of all of us to get out of your residency." Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise and tried his best to hold back a smile. "I - really? I mean, that would be cool but I'm not any more qualified than you guys are, you know?" He offered Adam a small smile and when his co-worker just laughed and shook his head. "You're way too nice, man. You're a really great doctor." "Oh well... thank you. That means a lot." Finn smiled at Adam before he turned his focus back to Rachel, looking at her with love in his eyes."Did I mention how much I love this dress on you?" he asked her, a playful smile on his face. "And I love that I get to see your legs." Finn moved his hand to rest gently on her knee, his fingers brushing against her soft skin as he sat contently beside her. He was so happy that he had Rachel by his side for this because as much as he liked his co-workers, he needed the fun and the good conversation that only his fiance could give him.

Rachel hoped that Savannah felt incredibly awkward. Rachel didn't want to be a bitch (or maybe she did) but she honestly didn't care what she felt. If Savannah had kissed Finn and was trying to resolve her feelings, then she could see exactly what she was missing. And Rachel was going to make it more than clear that later they'd be bringing the celebration home with them. Rachel honestly didn't care about her, but she did care that she was Finn's friend. Rachel got along with her, but Rachel wasn't going to get along with her when she was trying to go after Finn. "You're a great doctor, Finn. I don't even see you work but I hear all of your stories that you tell me. I know that people really like you. And people have been coming up to you practically every five minutes so they can talk to you." She said before looking at his friends. "I'm sure all of you guys are great, though. Anyone who's a doctor honestly amazes me. I don't know how you guys do it. It's nice to have a doctor around but whenever I have a cold he goes batshit crazy trying to get me better. I don't even want to imagine what he's like when we have kids and they're sick," She said with a laugh before she looked back to Finn as he spoke to her. As his hand rested on her leg she felt a small smirk rise on her lips as she grabbed onto his hand, bringing it slightly further up her thigh. "Did I mention how much I'm going to love seeing it on the floor?" She whispered softly as she looked at him, her squeezing his hand on her thigh. "I love that this is one of the only places that you're actually being super talkative and you're super in your element. Who knew Finn Hudson was such a party person? I guess you're only allowed to let loose when you're with other doctors."

Finn smiled at Rachel. It was difficult for him sometimes to take praise but it did make him happy that people were really acknowledging his hard work and his dedication to his job. He loved being a doctor so much and he knew that he was going to spend his whole life helping people. "Our kids better not get sick, I definitely won't be able to handle it," he said with a laugh as he looked at his girlfriend. As he place his hand on her thigh, he knew he was entering into dangerous territory but he didn't even care. He loved when the two of them were teasing and playful with each other, especially since it only made the end of the night even better. When she grabbed his hand and slid it further up on her thigh, he raised his eyebrows as their gazes met. "On the floor, huh? That sounds like a pretty good place for it too," he said playfully, him biting down on his lip as he continued brushing his fingertips against her soft skin. God, they were only one course into this dinner and he was already ready for dessert. "I guess I'm only a party person when I'm around other nerds," he said with a soft laugh as he shifted a bit closer to her. "Plus, I'm always in my element when I'm with you, baby. And, I mean, I'm also feeling pretty good tonight, you know? I'm definitely in the mood to celebrate." A smirk pulled up at the corner of his lips as he moved his hand up on her thigh just a bit more, his fingertips toying with the fabric of her dress as he looked into her eyes.

Rachel smiled as he bit down on his bottom lip, her looking into his eyes. The second Finn touched her, all bets were always off. Usually, she was the one with her hand under the table on his side, but she was really honestly surprised that the night was having them switch roles. Then again, he was the one who was really comfortable tonight and she wasn't all that comfortable. She was fine, but she just didn't want to deal with Savannah or some of his friends that she didn't know all that well. As he moved his fingers along her skin, she already found herself wanting to leave. Then again, this was his dinner, and she wanted to just let him enjoy himself. She wanted to go home and just be with him the way she wanted to. "You're more than in the mood," She said, looking at him and moving to bite down on her bottom lip. "I really love seeing you like this. It's really hot when you take control and get all handsy." She teased quietly, her hand moving to squeeze his for a moment before moving her hand to his leg. She knew that she was being obvious, but she was just trying to be close to Finn. "Just to let you know, we're skipping dessert. Or if you keep acting the way you do, I'm taking you in the back or we're going to the car and acting like teenagers trying to sneak off." Rachel went to look at his friends for a moment before looking back to Finn. "You know, I'm actually having a good time. I feel like we've been locked up in the apartment. Or well, I've been locked up in the apartment. It's nice to get out. A little weird. It feels a little weird to be somewhere like this and not be... I don't know. But I'm just happy to be with you, I guess."

Finn smirked when Rachel told him that he was more than in the mood. He knew that him being in control like this was a huge turn on for her and he loved catching her off guard with it and teasing her. God, he loved her so much. "If you love seeing me take control and get handsy then you're really going to like me later tonight," he said playfully. When she moved her hand to his leg, he knew that the two of them probably looked like they were in their own world but he found himself not caring at all what anyone else thought. This was his fiance and if he wanted to spend the night focusing on her then he was going to do just that. "I mean, I guess us sneaking off or leaving before dessert depends on you because I know that's all you've been thinking about since we left," he said playfully. When she told him that she was having a good time and that it was nice to get out, he looked at her with a smile on his face. "I'm having a good time too and it's all because of the fact that I'm here with you. Maybe we need to have nights out a little more often, you know? It doesn't matter what we do, as long as we're together I know we'll have fun."

[givemeakisspookie-blog]

Miss Atomic Bomb. (Aaron Tveit Fanfiction)

Chapter Five.

Eleven pm and Marie Anne was already at home. That was definitely not the idea for that night.

Dinner was amazing. It was perfect. Aaron was the most charming man she ever met and not even mentioning how handsome he was. A true gentleman that took her to a beautiful restaurant in Manhattan. They were getting along perfectly and Marie Anne couldn’t be happier. After dinner they decided to take a little walk to get to a wine bar that was a couple blocks away. It was just a silly excuse to keep talking because they were having fun. It was all perfect until her phone ringed.

She couldn’t believe she was that unfortunate. Actually, she did. The girl never had the chance to have end a date without any struggle. She didn’t have so many dates, actually, but the ones she had, were always threw down the drain. She wasn’t a very lucky girl in the love subject.

This time it was her brothers’ fault. They left to go to Adam’s, their neighbor who was the same age as them and with who they used to play video games. The problem was that when they left their apartment, the two boys screw it activating in the wrong way, the alarm of their place.

That’s why Marie Anne -and the cops- had to run to her place after the emergency call. She could imagine all the things that could have happened to her brothers, her mother, her stuff. She was scared to death when she arrived. Her fear turned into anger when she found out what really happened.

It was a miracle that she didn’t killed Allan and Parker, and another one was that they didn’t call her mother, who still was at their grandma’s house. Marie Anne was practically the responsible of the house so they called her. Then she had to leave Aaron, who offered go with her to check everything was fine. She thanked him for the offer but said she was going to be fine alone. The one thing she asked Aaron was if she could call him the next day. She was terrified that he’ll say no because he didn’t wanted to see her again after leaving him, but with a smile on his face he told her to text him the second the girl knew everything was fine with her family and home.

So she did. She arrived, and after yelling at her brothers and make herself a big cup of coffee, she texted him.

“Hey, there… Everything is fine, my silly brothers configured bad the alarm and was all a big mistake. We’re all good. Thanks for understanding, and I’m so sorry again.”

Marie Anne went to her bedroom and changed her clothes for a more comfortable outfit. Her brothers didn’t even wanted to show up after the huge mistake they made. She was mad at herself and mad at the whole world. For the first time in years she was having a really good date with an amazing man and it jgot ruined for a stupid thing. Of course it had to happen to her. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes, waiting for a text from him to say he wasn’t mad for what happened. She got the message she’d been waiting a few minutes after that.

“Hey! I’m glad you’re okay, I got scared! And you don’t have to worry, is not your fault. I would’ve like the date ended different tho.”

“You’ll pay me back for not picking me up and I’ll pay you for going home so early?”

“We have a deal. By the way, I had a great time with you tonight.”

“Me too. Never thought an actor could be so funny, you know?”

“Thanks, I guess. I never thought a coder could be as funny as you are, either.”

“Nobody gets our jokes but we are funny, I promise. By the way, thanks for not getting mad about tonight. I thought you weren’t going to answer my text and I was about to kill my brothers.”

“They didn’t mean to do it. Was an accident, it’s okay. Don’t be so hard with them.”

“Too late…”

“Did you kill them already? Do I have to take care of two young male bodies? Just tell me ‘cause I have enough place for one in my fridge, but that’s all I can offer you.”

“No, I just yelled at them. Enough to scare them. They didn’t even knock at my door yet. But thanks for the offer. I’ll let you know if I need it after all.”

“Good. Anyways, they’re just kids, Woody. We’ve all been after all.”

“You called me Woody??”

“Oops?”

“It’s because my last name is Woods??”

“Maybe?”

“I love it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You can call me Woody if you want.”

“Well, I like to call you Woody, so now you are Woody.”

Marie Anne smile couldn’t be bigger in that moment. She almost forgot why she was mad at her brothers. In that exact moment someone knocked at the door.

“Mar?” Allan’s voice was heard softly from the other side of the door.

“Mh?” Marie Anne asked absolutely distracted and she practically couldn’t even listen what her brother was saying because her mind was already in other place.

“Sis? We are sorry. It wasn’t our intention. We didn’t wanted to ruin things between you and Aaron.” Allan spoke again a little louder so she could really hear.

Marie Anne got up from bed and opened the door. When she saw the boys they really looked worried. “Things are okay with Aaron. You didn’t ruin it, don’t worry.”

“Can you forgive us?” Parker asked, looking at the floor and as worried as his twin. “And I don’t want you to get mad, okay? But… We’re going to watch Grease Live… And… Al…?” Parker touched his brother with his shoulder to make him talk because he wasn’t that good with the apologize issue as Allan.

“You’d like to come with us?” Allan said that really quickly and internally prayed for her sister not to set them on fire.

“Give me a sec and we’ll talk in the living room, okay?” she asked in the best possible tone so they wouldn’t think she was going to yell at them again.

“Sure…” Parker shortly answered and the boys went to the living room. Marie went back to grab her phone from the bed. She almost ignored his last text and wrote a new one.

“My brothers want me to watch Grease with them.”

“Well, Travolta is awesome.”

“I’m not talking about that Grease…”

“Oh man. Well, is such a great show, y'know? Might wanna check it out. Just ignore the shorts, please.”

“You won’t get mad if I watch it?”

“Why would I? Is my job, and I’m proud of it. And Grease was a great show so I’d like you to check it.”

“Okay, I’m watching it. Should I make you some comments meanwhile??”

“If you want. Would be a little bit embarrassing tho, but sure.”

“I won’t do it unless it’s extremely necessary, I promise you. How is Miles, btw?”

Meanwhile, Marie Anne got up from her bed with the phone in her hand and walked to the living room where her brothers were waiting for her.

“And?” Allan asked expecting a positive answered from her sister.

“I asked and he’s okay.” she affirmed, sitting on the couch in the middle of them.

“And he said yes, as I can see…” Parker smiled, turning on the TV. He had a plate with cookies in the coffee table, with three coffees, obviously trying to make her forgive them.

“That coffee is for me, uh??” she asked smiling a little bit.

“We thought you’d like to…” Allan took the cup and gave it to her.

“After tonight I need it.” she grabbed the cup and took a sip. “We didn’t get to kiss. I had to run over here.”

“Oh my God no…” Parker covered his face with his hand and Allan covered his mouth.

“Goddamned, Mar. We’re so so sorry! Shit.” Allan cursed and took a sip of his coffee.

“It’s okay. He’s not mad and keeps talking to me, so it’s not the end of it. I don’t know when we are going to see each other again but… It’s okay.” she added as she grabbed a cookie and ate the whole thing at once. Then she got another text.

“Miles is fine. He says hi and that he wants to meet you some day.”

“I will love to! When he’s not in the doggy daycare we can go out and have a play date.”

“He says he already likes you and that he’s looking forward to see you. Oh no wait, that’s me!”

“You are making me blush in front of my brothers and it’s weird when I’m seeing you in my TV. Nice hair, by the way.”

Marie Anne couldn’t help but laugh alone, making her brothers look at her.

“What did he said?” Parker pocked her in the ribs while looking at the TV and eating a cookie.

“We are talking about Miles and he said he wants to see me again.” she casually said with a big smile on her face.

“Miles’ his second name?” Parker giggled.

“How many liters of hairspray did they use to that?” Allan was looking at the TV, with his eyes opened.

“Miles is his dog. He has chocolate labradoodle. Aaron showed me some pics and he’s the most adorable thing ever. And I can ask him how many liters they use.”

“Can you?” Allan asked all happy for being able to ask all the stupid things he wanted. Marie Anne nodded. She couldn’t stop watching the TV and how handsome he looked.

“Thanks, I guess. It was too big. And also it was a little hard to unmake such a mess.”

“I can imagine. Allan wants to know how much hairspray or whatever it was they used to do your hair. Because of you now my brothers are fanboys.”

“Well, quite a lot! I can’t remember well, but about four cans.”

“Can I say your hair it’s pretty amazing?”

“Thank you so much! It has its personality”

“So now I’m talking with you or with your hair’s personality?”

“With me, Woody.”

“You need to be more specific…”

“I am talking with you, me with my whole body.”

“I was going to make such a bad joke watching this thing…”

“Which joke? Shoot, I can handle it.”

“No. Not happening. Maybe next week but not now. I met you not even a week ago, Aaron. It’s bad. Bad bad. Forget it.”

“And? Is just a joke, isn’t it?”

“I was going to say if I could talk with your arms instead than with your hair.”

“Next time we see each other I promise you can talk with the part of my body you choose.”

“You are seriously making me blush in front of the kids. What should I say if they ask what are we talking about?”

“About the next date…?”

“You mean my play date with Miles on the park or another one?”

“No, that’s a date you have with him. I’m saying the next one with me.”

“Oh, we have one? When?”

“When do you have time?”

“I should ask that to you. You are the one with the crazy life, not me.”

“Tuesday night. My place, I cook.”

“You know how to cook?”

“Oh yeah, and I like to do it. Actually, I’m allergic to some stuff and so I gotta cook myself.”

“That Tuesday night I’ll need a list of things you are allergic so I don’t use them. Next time I cook.”

“We’ve got a deal. What do you want for dinner?”

“Surprise me?”

“Sure thing, sweetie.”

“I wasn’t planning to say anything, but now I get why you said that about the shorts, sweetie.”

“Really?? Is pretty bad, isn’t it??”

“Bad as Greased Lightning. Awful. You can’t dance even if your life was depending on it. And I won’t talk about your voice. God help us. Disgusting.”

“Oh, I knew it! Those shorts ruined my life!”

“I think you are the only one who ever said that about those shorts. Ten bucks that every single girl who saw this doesn’t think the same. Also, Parker is really thinking about quieting journalism to do what you do if with that he gets to dance with pretty girls.”

“Really? He likes acting?”

“He does it all the time. ALL the time. But actually he just wants to use it to get a girlfriend.”. Before he could text her an answer, Marie Anne was writing again. “Holy shit.”

“What?!”

“Hold on a sec.”

“Okay…”

“Aaron, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing after 3pm. Why?”

“Because I need to kiss you.”

“Wanna meet now?”

“Where?”

“Starbucks? There’s one near from your place?”

“Not at this hour. Besides you said you don’t like Starbucks. There’s a coffee shop open till 4 if you want. I’ll say a bar but I’m really not in the mood for bars.”

“Text me the address”

“90 S.40th street. There in twenty?”

“Give me ten.”

“Maybe it’ll take me fifteen. Wait for me, yes?”

Meanwhile she left the couch and run into her bedroom. Marie Anne didn’t even think in the clothes she was grabbing but she changed her pajamas, leaving her brothers asking where she was going and what she was doing.

“Of course, I’ll be there.”

After that she left home. Told the twins don’t stay up waiting for her, make up some lie to their mom, and especially don’t fuck up. Then she went to grab a taxi. Marie Ann was so excited to see him that she could arrive there running. She was moving her leg inside the car, looking through the window, and hoping to arrive there the next second.

Twelve minutes later she was there. She paid to the driver and got out of the car, doing everything as fast as she could.

She looked for the coffee shop with her eyes while was almost running through the street. She was trying to see Aaron and when finally she got inside she saw him, sitting in a table by the window. He was already with two coffees in front of him in the table. The dress pant, shoes and shirt where replaced with a hoodie, a jean and some sneakers and he was handsome anyway. Marie Anne knew he was going to like him no matter what he had.

“Hey…” he smiled and got up to receive her. She didn’t answer.

She’d been waiting for that moment since the day by the river, so she didn’t have time to answer or to lose when she stepped forward, being now in front of him, just a few inches from his face. Aaron stayed silent the second it took her to grab his neck, getting closer and kissing him. She stayed a few seconds with her lips touching his, petting slowly his neck, when he hugged her tight to him. Marie Anne got her lips apart from him and stayed with her eyes closed right in her spot, so did he.

After that first kiss, Aaron got encouraged and kissed her back. Their lips played with each other and she grabbed his neck, making him got closer to her. She couldn’t believe what was happening in that moment, and every moment they were kissing, she wanted to do it more. They got apart a little bit just to take a breath, and both of them found themselves smiling, and even laughing a little bit. That little thing made Marie Anne turn mad for him, and came back to his lips, slipping her fingers in his hair, and letting her hands take what it wanted. Aaron was petting her back and let himself go with the woman he had in front of him.

When he saw her getting into the shop, he just thought she’d sit down, take the coffee, talk a little bit, and then find an excuse to kiss him. Maybe he’d to find an excuse to kiss her. She definitely surprised him and he was completely happy about it.

Aaron kissed her with all his strengths and his mind blew up when her tongue started to play with his. He grabbed her by her neck, and petted her softly while Marie Anne was holding him tight. She was an atomic bomb. They stood like that for some short minutes. There were a few people in the place, but they couldn’t care less about the whole world. When they got apart again Marie Anne was the first talking.

“You said I could talk with the part of your body I wanted. I’m changing your arms for your lips…” she murmured against his mouth and gave him a small and soft but long peak.

“Deal” he smiled, staring at her and not moving for a while. He looked like if he was seeing the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

“I… I saw you dancing and smiling and… I don’t know. I wanted to kiss you so bad yesterday and tonight, and then I saw you there…” she tried to explain but everything about him was distracting her. His eyes, his arms holding her body against his, his lips almost touching hers, the way he smelt, the way he was looking at her. It was everything too good and distracting.

“I was dying to kiss you, so it was very helpful.” Aaron confessed and couldn’t contain a smile, and kissed her again for a few seconds without letting her go, and staying the closest he could from her.

“Hi again, by the way.” the girl smiled. When she realized what happened her cheeks started to turn red. She was kissing that beautiful man in the middle of coffee shop past midnight. Life couldn’t be crazier and she couldn’t be luckier.

“Hi, Woody.” he smiled back and kissed her cheek. “Wanna sit? The coffee might be cold by now…” he got apart from her and went to sit to the place he was before. “Come here” he grabbed her hand and made her sit beside him, in the padded seat beside the window, where he was waiting for her with a shining smile on his face.

Once they occupied the seat Marie Anne didn’t let his hand go. It was comfortable to be there with Aaron, even if the situation was a little weird. She liked him so much that she felt like it was afternoon instead of midnight. Marie Anne was just happy to be there. “Sorry I don’t look as nice as on our dinner…”

“You look beautiful. You don’t need to put on an amazing dress like you did tonight to make me like you.” he looked at her eyes and stayed close to her. Her butterflies came back to her stomach and they were more and stronger.

“In that case I’ll say you don’t need dress pants and shirts to make me like you. You look wonderful with it, but I like the way you look like this.” she kissed slowly the corner of his mouth and his scruffy cheeks.

“And I like the way you look like this.” he whispered and kissed her softly.

They looked like two teenagers in love who couldn’t stop kissing and holding hands for one second. Marie Anne was really having the time of her life, and felt happy as she never did before with a guy.

She knew then, she was getting into something special. In fact, it was almost two in the morning, they were in a coffee shop that looked more like a drive-in, drinking cold coffee, dressing like if it was Sunday afternoon and they were laying in an old couch, and were going to watch a 90’s movie, that was about a serial killer who used to kill blonde ladies because a blonde girl bumped him when he was thirteen years old. Somebody might say that’s pretty much how happiness looked like. And for Marie Anne the picture of that exact moment was it.

“Even with my silly sneakers?” Marie Anne smiled and she felt a little pathetic with her Little Mermaid shoes. It was the first she found on the floor when she ran to change. It was a gift from Parker and Allan because it was her favorite Disney movie, but not something she’ll use to go out with Aaron.

He took a second to look down and check her shoes and back at her smiling. “I love your snickers.” he affirmed, not being able to stop the smile on his face. He just couldn’t stop and neither did her.

“If you tell me you like Disney I might die a little bit here.” she blushed and looked into his blue eyes. Marie Anne knew she could spend hours just looking at him.

“Guilty” he raised his hand. Aaron completely forgot about the coffee until that very moment. “Hang on…” he called the waitress and asked for another couple of coffees. A minute later the girl came back to two new cups and took away the cold ones. “Now let’s drink them.”

“After today I need like six of these…” she breathed deep and then took a sip of coffee. “So, this counts as date three or its more like date two 2.0??”

“We can call it 'The date’.” he took a sip of his coffee and she couldn’t believe his cheeks turned a little bit red too.

“The date?” she asked again and her heart almost melts when she saw him blushing for that.

“Yes. Like THE date. I kissed you today.” he took another sip and took her out of his sight. He might be thirty-three years old, but he still got embarrassed with those kinds of things.

Marie Anne left her cup in the table, placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him. It was one long and sweet kiss, and she couldn’t help it. She knew just a couple things about his life and they have met three days before, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to cup his face really carefully and kiss him like they were on a couch at home and not in the coffee shop.

After that kiss, he wasn’t able to hold a second one. He was so soft and caring with her, and without thinking held her hand meanwhile. She thought he’d never got apart. Actually, she didn’t wanted to get apart. When he finally did, he just looked at her with those big clear blue eyes. She thought she was already dead, because she stopped breathing for a few seconds.

“You are seriously killing me with those blue eyes, handsome.” she whispered against his lips and gave him another kiss like the previous. While she was doing it she realized it was the first time she told him handsome out loud. She was already not thinking straight. She didn’t care; after all it was exactly what she thought of him.

“You are so so beautiful.” he said almost out of breath and kissed her again. He was losing his mind and couldn’t stop.

“Are we sure they don’t have here a secret room they rent with a couch, a TV and a blanket?” she giggled for her silly comment and let him go for a second so she could drink her coffee.

“I guess no… But… Uhm…” he started but stop himself of talking.

“But..?

"I do have a couch, a TV and a blanket.” he looked at her eyes.

“I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep if I sit on a couch.” she affirmed with a little smile on her face.

“Is okay…” he said and smiled. He looked at every single place in that coffee shop but her. He was clearly ashamed.

“I will love to invite you to my place but I kinda can’t…” she started. She realized he was feeling bad for his comment, so she thought about something to make her also look stupid. “You’ll probably think it’s pathetic, but I live with my mom and my brothers. I wanna move alone but things got… Complicated. And now I don’t know why I didn’t told you that in the dinner...”

“Hey that’s not pathetic.” he immediately said, turning his face back enough to look at her again. “I won’t judge. Everyone has its problems. You live with your mom, I do unfortunate comments...” he laughed a little trying to get out of that quicksand he got himself into.

“Your comments are not a problem!” she laughed with him to make him feel better. “And I feel very pathetic about it. I want my own place but when I was about to rent something my folks got divorced and I stayed for Allan and Parker. Now I just wanna get out of there to not listen to my mom’s craziness.” she explained quickly. She still felt pathetic, she couldn’t handle it.

“Well, you’re not pathetic.” he stroked her cheek. “You wanna talk about it?” he asked her kindly.

“About which part of all the craziness I just throw at you?” she said looking at him. There was something about his blue eyes that make her felt completely comfortable and safe.

“About the divorce…”

“It’s not like it affected me, y'know? I’m twenty seven, it won’t change my existence. But it’s a mess cause they are still fighting every day and putting us in the middle of their war. That’s why I stayed with the boys…” she explained talking softly.

“How are they handling it?”

“They are good. If mom and dad bother them they just send them to hell.” she smiled little bit, remembering those amazing boys.

“That’s a great move. They are smart.” he affirmed, finishing his coffee. “I will order something to eat. You want anything?”

“No, I’m fine.” she smiled sweetly at him.

Aaron ordered a sandwich and stayed quiet for a while. Marie Anne took the chance to keep looking at him, even if the restaurant’s lights weren’t really good. He glanced at her but he was still uncomfortable for the comment he made.

“Can I kiss you?” she murmured looking at him and placing a kiss in his hand. She didn’t like how suddenly everything became weird.

“Sure you can.” he smiled at her.

Her heart did a little jump with the answer. She placed one hand on his nape and with the other one she kept holding his right hand. Then Marie Anne kissed him again, this time a little more intense than when she arrived. She didn’t pay attention to the waitress when she came back to bring his sandwich or neither to the people around there.

Aaron closed his eyes and placed his free hand on her waist. Suddenly it all around them turned dark and they were the only ones that mattered. Marie Anne heard the waitress when she put his sandwich on the table and left, but she didn’t stop.

She didn’t knew if she needed to show him how much she liked him or that he shouldn’t be uncomfortable. In her head she had at least ten reasons for why she was kissing him, but the first one was simple: Because she needed to. She wanted to learn how to kiss him in the way he liked, even if that started in a coffee shop and for short minutes.

“I’m sorry for the invitation.” he started, moving away. “I mean, I’d like you to come over but it was just so rude. I’m really sorry.” he said slowly, trying to find the right words. She looked at him.

“What if we stay here just talking, and kissing, and you eat your sandwich, and when they kick us cause the place is closing we see what we do?” she offered with a sweet smile.

“You’re so sweet, baby…” Aaron affirmed, and he looked shocked after that. “I’m sorry again. Fuck!” he cursed himself and started to eat his sandwich to keep his mouth in a way that he couldn’t keep screwing it up.

“Don’t worry about it, babe…” she copied him, giving Aaron a kiss on the cheek while he was eating. She couldn’t tell if she liked more when he called her Woody or baby, but she was over her head with both.

“I’m being so rude. I invite you home, call you baby… I mean…” he started his speech, with still sandwich in his mouth. Marie Anne understood just the essential. “I like you and… I really like kissing you. And I don’t-” he coughed right in that moment. When your mother says that you must NOT talk with your mouth full of food, well, there’s a reason. She asked for a glass of water and he drank the half of it, then he kept eating. “Like I tried to say before I had my first suicide attempt with this sandwich… I don’t wanna rush you or scare you or any of that. I truly wanna keep you near.” he stopped and looked at his legs.

“What can I do to stop that head of yours for five minutes and convince you that I’m not mad or anything and that I don’t think you are rude?” she asked with the sweetest voice, placing her fingers in his chin and looking at him in the eyes. She was having the best night in years and she couldn’t handle seen him worried like that.

“Just kiss me.” he affirmed and couldn’t say anything else but that. And so she did. Marie Anne just kissed him in the sweetest way she could as she locked her fingers in his hair.

They kept kissing the whole night. Marie Anne couldn’t find in her life story any night that was any similar to that one. She had comedy, passion, mystery -for the alarm thing-, adventure, and love. Everything that a good movie must have. She even had very good looking guy who also was extremely sweet and kind, the regular girl, and a so unexpected story. She couldn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. But, as every dream it came to its end when the waitress “woke them up” and told them they had to leave because they were going to close the shop. Marie Anne insisted in paying after he paid dinner, but there was no way to convince Aaron to let her do such a thing. He was too gentleman and Marie Anne knew she wasn’t going to be able to fight that even for five minutes.

After that they walked out of the coffee shop and stayed in the sidewalk. It was 4 am and she didn’t want to get away from him. “So you came here in your car?” she asked casually

“Yes. Want me to take you home?”

“Wanna go for a ride? Unless you’re tired. I mean, maybe you are. In that case, it’s fine. I’ll take a taxi.” she said nervous thinking that maybe now he regretted what was happening there.

“No, I’m not tired. I’d love to. Come on…” he started to walk to his car and she followed him.

She walked by his side but didn’t know what to say. It was like if for just a moment her head convince her it was over. Even when she knew it wasn’t true she had a knot in her stomach and she hated it. He stopped beside his car and took her by her waist. “Hey… I’m sorry for how I acted before…” he blushed and looked at the floor.

For some reason all she could do was hug him. Not even kiss him, just placed her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder and chest. It was the first time she was really hugging him besides the make out session some hours before. Marie Anne just needed to be there and the rest could disappear at least for some minutes.

He hugged her back and kissed her head. “You okay?” he asked.

“Just hold me for a while…” she said nodding to let him know she was fine. She just needed that. A simple warm hug from someone who wasn’t one of her brothers. It was something different in every single way. He hugged her tight and kept placing little kisses in her head and forehead. After what felt like hours but were probably five minutes, Marie Anne let him go and looked at him. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that. Thanks.” she whispered looking at the floor because now she felt embarrassed.

He just placed a finger on her chin and lifted her face enough to kiss her. It was just a short peak, but it felt a little bit more than that. “You don’t have to thank me, but I think I’ll need more of those sooner than I expected.” he whispered.

Just like that she gave him another kiss, just like the one he gave her. He kissed her back again, and held her by her waist. “Where should we go??” she asked still placing small kisses on his lips.

“Wherever you want…” he just stayed there, kissing her back and smiling a little bit.

“The beach? Disneyland? Your place? The river? I don’t know.” she smiled back at him. “Nothing fancy cause I look like hell…”

“You look pretty.” he said just before kissing her again. “And, of all the options you just said… Just choose. As long as I can keep kissing you I’m okay.”

“I say we let Disney for next week…” she joked and let him kiss her every time he wanted. “And what about the other three options? Too crazy?”

“Considering that is four in the morning, and I want us alive and with all our belongings…” he smiled and kept kissing her, not so lightly this time.

“I know a place when we can watch the ocean and we don’t have to get out of the car…”

“I follow your lead…” said him, hugging her tight and kissing her cheek.

“Then you need to drive us to Coney Island Beach…” she laughed softly. She knew it was stupid to drive all the way there at that hour, but she couldn’t care less about it. She was too happy.

“Okay…” he got closer to her so slowly until he reached her lips. They were living it like a fairytale, and Marie Anne couldn’t be happier.

“Let’s get in, we have like half hour travel…” she murmured against his lips and placed both hands on his neck, totally ignoring what she said about get in the car. “Before we go can I do something I have been dying to do since yesterday?”

“What…?” he murmured a bit curious about it. She smiled with an evil smirk because it was probably a bad idea, but at that point she had to risk it. Without saying anything she gave him a small kiss on the right side of his neck. It wasn’t big deal, but she couldn’t stop thinking about that for hours since the park date. “That was really nice…” he was holding her by her waist and seemed pretty surprised. But like good surprised.

“Now we can go.” she smiled against his cheek and gave him a kiss there.

“Hey, promise me there will be more of that…” he kissed her cheek too and then moved slowly his nose up and down, slipping it on her face.

“Should we forget about the river and the beach for tonight and leave it as an excuse for another two dates??” she asked and waited for his answer. Part of her regret it, thinking that he maybe will take it bad, but the other part was wishing he would give the answer she was wishing.

“You mean my place as the only option left for tonight?” he smiled at her. Marie Anne smiled back at him and nodded and that simple action made Aaron kiss her again. She was living the dream. Marie Anne placed both her hands on his chest and smiled as they kiss. “I’m in.”

“I’ll make breakfast. No discussion.” she told him with a serious face so he would see she wasn’t joking.

“Let’s get in before I do something I don’t wanna do in public.” he whispered in her ear and placed a kiss there. He moved away and opened the copilot door for her. “Let’s go, my lady”

“Thanks, my good sir.” she said smiling as she got in the car. The butterflies in her stomach were now making their own party. Aaron got in the car and she couldn’t stop smiling as she looked at him. She was wondering how she could be so lucky to be in his car and about to go to his place, but there was no answer. She was just extra lucky. “Ready to take me to Queens?”

“Yes, but before that…” he grabbed her head and gave her a long sexy kiss. She placed a hand on his chest and grabbed a little bit his sweater. “Now we can go.”

She couldn’t stop looking at him. New York at night is such a beauty, but she found something prettier to look at. He was kind, loving, funny, smart and so perfect for her eyes. He made her feel like a teenager every time they met, and that was something hard to do, considering that she’d always been more mature for her age. That night she didn’t care if she wasn’t a teenager kissing the boy she liked in the middle of the street. To be honest she didn’t care what the world could say and the reason was very simple. That night all she cared about was him. ←  Previous Chapter.                                                                 Next Chapter.  →

[clodplaye]

The Best Day of My Life: September 23rd, 2017.

For those that care, read below:

On September 23rd, 2017, my 15 year dream became a reality.

I don’t think people understand and/or take me seriously when I say that this band changed my life.

Most people have seen a viral video of an autistic boy who was moved by Coldplay playing “Fix You” live. Ladies and gentlemen, that was me when I was 5 years old (hence the “15 year dream.” I’m currently 20 years old). When I was 5, A Rush of Blood to the Head was released (2002). I first heard “Clocks” on the radio on the way to kindergarten/elementary school. Like my fellow autistic in that viral video, I too, was moved by the ambience of Coldplay. Ever since, Coldplay has literally been the only music I listen to (well, except Adam Young AKA Owl City, but that’s a different story..).

If it weren’t for Coldplay, I would not be a singer-songwriter. Why do you think most of my covers are of Coldplay? My voice was shaped by Chris Martin’s unique and identifiable vocals. (Most) autistics have what’s known as “echolalia.” You know how parrots repeat stuff back that humans say? That’s what echolalia is. That’s how I learned how to sing: I mimicked Chris’ voice. All of their songs give me inspiration in one way or another as well. There is no band like Coldplay, and that’s why they’re the biggest band in the world.

For 15 years, I listened to every new song that came out; as soon as it came out. I remember in middle school, my best friend and I were freaking out over Mylo Xyloto. When I heard Coldplay were coming to Seattle back then, I was already crying. My dreams were crushed when my mom said, “You have school the next day.” I was 14. My 8th grade year and life were ruined in an instant.

Then I heard about Ghost Stories, but also heard about how small the tour was. I didn’t get my hopes up anyways, because Ghost Stories was actually my least favorite album. I thought for sure that it would be the last album Coldplay would ever release…

of course, I was wrong.

When I heard about A Head Full of Dreams, I was over the moon. I was so hopeful that this tour was going to be huge. Besides, Coldplay themselves said it might be their last album. When they announced the first leg of the American tour, I was extremely sad to see that Seattle or anywhere in the Pacific Northwest weren’t included. I had a feeling that they’d be back, but I honestly thought it wouldn’t happen…

but in October of 2016, that announcement was real.

I saw it. In that quick few seconds of that announcement video, I saw the abbreviation, “WA,” of course meaning Washington State.

I dropped my phone. My dreams weren’t shattered after all. From that moment, I swore that I was going to get those tickets to see the men that “ruined” and saved my life.

As soon as those tickets went onsale, I was ready. At first, I was only getting seats off the floor, “What? Why is this happening?? Why can’t I choose my seat?!?!” My mom knew how big of a fan I was, and I started bawling to her. “Calm down, Sweetheart. You’ll get those tickets, and we’ll do whatever it takes.” This was the woman that got mad when I told her that I wanted to be adopted by Chris Martin when I was 8 years old… anyways, I did calm down, and I tried using a different browser. By some stroke of luck… I got those tickets by the B-stage, and you better believe I bought them as fast as I could.

I cried I bawled. I just lost it. The concert was over a year away, but I was so ready to see my idols.

————————————————————————————————–

That day finally arrived on that beautiful day in September of 2017. I couldn’t believe that nearly a year flew by.

The day started off with waking up at 11:00am and taking over an hour to put all of my stuff together. I then met up with my friend and we got a few snacks before heading to the stadium.

We arrived at CenturyLink about an hour prior to them opening the gates. We were the second ones in line, too! As soon as those gates opened, we received our Xylobands and love buttons. I was already feeling the love from Coldplay and their entire team. Then, after buying some merchandise, we finally walked onto the field.

Now, I should also mention that the Seahawks also play at CenturyLink, and my family have been season ticket holders; also since 2002. I have never in my life walked onto that field before. So when I stepped onto that field… I nearly fainted.

Not only did the Seahawks (my other idols) play here, but the stage that I’d only seen in pictures for 2 years… was right in front of us. Just… right in front of us. Tears literally streamed down my face. My friend didn’t judge me at all, but I knew I was a hot mess. I had no idea if I was going to make it through the whole show (literally).

I then found our seats, and of course, we took a few pictures. I didn’t actually realize that we were only about 10 feet away from the B-stage. I thought for sure we’d be further away. Yep, I also flipped out then.

Alina Baraz was fantastic. I don’t usually like opening acts, but Alina did such an amazing job. Her voice and her stage presence were very soothing. Dare I say she was actually better than Tove Lo (in my opinion). Then again… I’m not really a big fan of Tove Lo. Sure, she’s got a great voice, but as an asexual (a sex-repulsed asexual), her music makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I found myself shaking my head during some of her songs.

Okay, and now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

BOI WHEN THAT INTRO STARTED, I WAS SHOOKETH.

This was the only part of the show that I’d actually seen before-hand. I knew Chris was going to run down to the B-stage and do that flying thing he always does during the bridge of “A Head Full of Dreams,” but I still wasn’t prepared. I was already bawling again. I couldn’t believe it was him. I couldn’t believe it was Coldplay. I couldn’t believe they were in my city.

Throughout the show, Chris kept mentioning how much he loved Seattle. He mentioned Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Soundgarden, and how he would try to do ‘em justice (which of course he did). That small tribute to Chris Cornell also made me tear up. Soundgarden was another band I grew up with. Chris also mentioned that the first show they ever played in the United States was at The Showbox in Seattle. I had to look it up, but it’s true. I couldn’t believe it. I was only 4 when they played there, but it was still awesome to hear. When the whole band moved to the B-stage, I held up the front of my sign. For those that don’t know, the front of my sign said, “After 15 years of waiting… [My] Head Full of Dreams came true today (Coldplayer since 2002). #believeinlove”  I believe Jonny saw my sign, because he looooked in myyyyy direction (sorry…), and he went from being serious to being extremely happy (nearly laughing)! That made me feel so good. At least one of the members saw my sign. I’m pretty sure Chris saw it too, but it was too far away for him to read at the time. He squinted trying to read it, but yeah… I think he noticed it. Doesn’t matter if he did or not though, I (somewhat) hope that Coldplay discovers my account… one day… maybe they already have… Also, before the show, a person working for the event came up to my friend and I and said, “The band is going to walk right by your seats to the C-stage later tonight. Get your phones ready!” He was really nice the whole night. The other security people… not so much. When that moment finally came during the show, I was right in front of the tape they put out for the band so they had a clear path to the C-Stage. I nearly touched Chris, but was still 3 feet away from him. My arms weren’t long enough. I still bawled like a freaking child, though. Finally, Chris said the following dialogue on the C-stage:

“So… when we were just off-stage a second ago, Will said, ‘The reason why this audience is so good is because they’re called, ‘The 12th Man.’’ Is that correct?” *audience fucking cheers loud af* “No wonder your football team is so fucking good because they got you on their side, so that’s amazing! Ah… I wish we could take you everywhere…” I fucking died when he said that.

Meanwhile, the concert went by lightening fast. When they started playing “Up&Up,” I couldn’t believe it was already over. I didn’t even cry; I was in shock.

I never understood why some people on here wrote really long, sappy posts about the show. Now I do.

From now on, I am reading every new post about the show from someone else’s experience. Now I understand why people share their experience. We all know that this band is what brought a lot of us, and the world together, but I never knew how big of an impact they made on other people.

I said this already, and I’ll say it again. I’m sorry to my future (adopted) children, but that night was the best fucking night of my life, and it will always be. I can’t even explain how I felt during that show. If you haven’t seen Coldplay live, you need to. It will change your life. That was the most “Fun” (which, they didn’t play live??) I’ve ever had in my whole life. Seeing the men that I’ve looked up to since I was a little kid… how do you even come close to explaining that?

Chris: “… I hope we’ll always come back as long as you want us to; whether it’s The Showbox or CenturyLink!”

I sincerely hope so. Chris, Jonny, Guy, Will, Phil, and the rest of the team: from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You gave me a show and a night that I will never forget. Those 15 years of waiting were certainly worth it. “See You Soon”… -PJ (AKA Clodplaye; that chick that makes fun of you in the best way possible)

PS: HIGHLIGHTS (TL;DR)

Chris didn’t fuck up during the concert

Chris said that their first show in the US was at The Showbox in Seattle (I know exactly where that is, and I freaked)

Chris sang a tribute to Chris Cornell (Soundgarden; formed in Seattle) at the end of “The Scientist” (”Black Hole Sun”)

Chris: “Pearl Jam forever. Nirvana forever. Soundgarden forever,” and also said (somewhere) at the beginning of the show that he hope(d) Coldplay would “do ‘em justice” (they did in my opinion) 

“And this time, I’m gonna say, ‘JUMP’, let’s really fucking jump!!!!” ~Chris Martin

The band praising “The 12th Man” (now known as “The 12s,” actually), and how loud and amazing we were (I would know, I’ve been going to every Seahawks home game since I was 5 years old as well)

Coldplay didn’t play my request song. They played “Us Against the World” (another request from Instagram) because of the live album! Chris said: “Now listen, I know some of you are superfans, and you probably say, 'You know, they keep getting the same song requested,’” *laughs* “and you’re right, you’ve called us out! We’re making this live album, and uh… we wanna put this song on it-” *bangs tooth on microphone* “…is there a great dentist in the room? Anyway, …because we feel like we never quite got it right on record. …this evening, we’re gonna try another take… maybe with Seattle and the 12th man… with a banged up tooth, maybe we can capture the right performance tonight with all of you, that would be wonderful. Thank you for letting us keep requesting the same song.” It finally made sense, and I was nodding in agreement when Chris said the superfan part. LOL… I’m still salty that “42” wasn’t played, though…

WILL SANG “DON’T PANIC” INSTEAD OF CHRIS AND/OR JONNY

I left my icon picture on my chair (my reputation is out the window already, what the hell)

They didn’t play “Fun” live...

A PSA that I fucking died and had an out-of-body experience that night

[defenselesswriter]

Hey! Just read your Baker!Derek fic and... IT'S AMAZING! PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE could you give us more? I'm dying of curiosity with what will happen and I just loved Derek's interaction with the sheriff, haha. Anyway, thanks for writing bc it's already awesome!

since i actually got a few requests to finish it here's a part two. you can find part 1 here and part 3 here

That night, out of nowhere, Derek decided to cook homemade lasagna. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to make his own noodles because things at the bakery took longer than he wanted, but store bought is fine. He finds it comforting to go through the methods of cooking this dish. Stirring together the ricotta and mozzarella. Making homemade sauce and chopping up garlic to go into it. Then he focuses on lining the pan with noodles and then layering the ingredients together. It really quiets his mind and prevents him from freaking about Stiles.

Of course, as soon as it’s in the oven and Derek is done cleaning up, all he has is time to freak the fuck out. He is kind of pretty sure he has a thing for Stiles, and Stiles might have a thing for him, which is even scarier. But it’s too soon to tell, Derek is sure of it. And really, they just barely met, so why is he freaking out?

Probably because it’s been so long since he has ever dated. He hasn’t had time lately, so it’s kind of been on the back burner, but now Stiles is right there and well…he doesn’t want to say no to this.

There’s a knock on the back door, so Derek goes to answer it with a, “You know you can use the front door, right?”

“This just seems like our thing,” Stiles says with a shrug, and for the first time, Stiles is wearing jeans a v-neck at Derek’s house. It’s not a swimsuit. Why isn’t he wearing a swimsuit?

“Uh, come in, I guess?” Derek says, taking a step back and letting Stiles into his house.

“I didn’t say this last time I was here, but you have a nice house,” Stiles comments, looking around the kitchen. “A really big, open kitchen. My mom would’ve loved it. She loved baking too.”

Derek smiles softly at that.

“What do I smell?” Stiles asks, sniffing again.

“Garlic?” Derek suggests.

“Definitely.” Stiles nods. “And something else. Tomatoes, like a red sauce.” Then he looks at the oven and sees it’s on. “Lasagna?”

“Yup,” Derek answers. “And you’re more than welcome to have some. There’s more than plenty. You can even take some home to your dad.”

“I’m sure he’d love that,” Stiles mumbles. “Did you use real sausage?”

“Chicken sausage actually,” Derek tells him.

Stiles lights up. “Then maybe I can bring some home to him.”

“You didn’t wear your swimsuit,” Derek can’t help but point out.

Stiles looks down as if he expected to be wearing something else or like he didn’t know what he was wearing. “Yeah, I figured maybe tonight we could just hangout or something. If you’re cool with that.”

Derek really, really hopes the sheer panic he feels isn’t clear on his face, but the way Stiles starts to retreat into himself and look sad makes it seem like maybe it is. Derek is quick to say, “I’m cool with it.”

Again, Stiles lights up with a smile and looks like Derek just made his day.

They’re quiet for a few moments before Stiles brings up the brownies. “They were really good. What did you put in them?”

“I tried putting fudge in them,” Derek explains, leaning against the counter. “I haven’t experimented much with my brownies, and I suddenly got inspired to. I want to try making mint brownies.”

“Well, if you need a taste tester, my mouth is yours,” Stiles tells him and then his eyes widen in panic. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. That came out totally wrong, and it was inappropriate. I’m so sorry.”

Derek laughs and runs a hand through his hair, feeling lighter than he has in a while. “It’s okay. I get what you meant. I appreciate the sentiment.”

Stiles smiles softly at that, looking almost like he is suddenly shy around Derek, which is weird. The man broke into Derek’s yard while he was away and used his pool. That doesn’t strike Derek as the characteristics of a shy person, but maybe there’s more to Stiles than meets the eye.

“Do you want a drink or something?” Derek asks, remembering that he is a host and should be polite.

“I wouldn’t mind water,” Stiles answers.

Derek pushes himself off the counter and grabs a glass to fill it up with water.

“You don’t have to get it for me,” Stiles comments. “I feel like I’m a little passed the guest stage.”

“I don’t think you were ever in that stage,” Derek laughs, looking over at him. That’s when Derek is struck with how beautiful Stiles is. His face is just…Derek doesn’t have words. The way his eyes shine in the kitchen lights, though. That’s…incredible. They almost look like honey, and Derek wants to maybe stare at them forever.

Stiles looks a little awestruck as well like he is just seeing Derek for the first time. “What color are your eyes?” he asks with a laugh.

“Hazel,” Derek answers automatically before realizing he’s spilling water all over his hand because the cup is full. He immediately takes the cup back and pours a touch of water down the sink so it isn’t spilling over anymore. “Here’s your water.”

Stiles reaches and grabs it, their fingers brushing as he does. “Thanks, dude.”

“So why did you leave so suddenly last night?” Derek asks.

It takes a moment for Stiles to answer because his head is tipped back as he drinks the water, and Derek gets to admire how long it is and how his Adam’s apple moves as he swallows. Stiles finally puts the water on the counter and runs a hand through his hair, not looking at Derek. “Uh, I just remembered I had a thing to do.”

“A thing?” Derek asks, trying to get more information.

Stiles shrugs. “A thing with my best friend. We’re currently working on planning his wedding, which isn’t saying much because his fiancee and her best friend are mostly calling the shots, but we’re helping where we can, you know?”

Derek nods. “I helped my sister plan her wedding, but honestly, I didn’t do much. She was pretty set on what she wanted, and she’s headstrong and very determined to do things herself.”

“She sounds awesome,” Stiles laughs, taking a sip of his water.

“She is,” Derek agrees, knowing he has a fond smile on his face. He really does love his family. “She usually is my taste tester, but…”

“But what?” Stiles asks, picking up on Derek’s hesitance.

Derek shrugs. “I wanted a new perspective on stuff as I’m trying new things. Plus, she’s my sister. She has to support me.”

Stiles laughs and sets down his water. “I wouldn’t know. I’m an only child. How many siblings do you have? What’s it like?” He puts his hands on the counter and then jumps up so he’s sitting atop it, letting his legs dangle.

“Don’t scuff my cabinets,” Derek quickly says before Stiles can do anything. “And I have two sisters, one older and one younger. It’s like having someone in your life that you can switch from hating them to loving them within seconds, but also there’s no question that you always love them, you know?”

Stiles nods, looking serious for once. “I have that with my best friend. He’s as close to a brother as I have.”

“What’s his name?” Derek asks.

“Scott,” Stiles answers, smiling fondly. “We’ve been best friends since we were in preschool. We’ve been through so much together. I could never imagine my life without him.”

The conversation strikes something in Derek. Something about seeing Stiles’ deeper emotional side really appeals to him, makes him even more intrigued about Stiles. “I feel the same way about my sisters,” Derek finally says.

The oven timer starts beeping, signaling that the lasagna is done, so Derek quickly goes to pull it out.

“Sweet, it’s done!” Stiles exclaims, jumping off the counter to come up behind Derek to look at it. “Looks picture perfect honestly. Baker and a cook. What a catch. How are you still single?” Stiles backs up at that, so Derek looks behind at him. “If you are single. I don’t know that you’re not, and that’s quite the assumption to make wow.”

“I’m single,” Derek laughs. “And the lasagna needs to cool before I can cut it.”

“What’s with you and cooling things down?” Stiles sighs, looking grumpy, but there’s a smile that he’s trying to hide.

“If you cut it too early then it cracks,” Derek argues. “And it’s just what my dad always did, so I just follow his methods.”

Stiles laughs, throwing his head back. “That’s so adorable that you just follow what your dad tells you.”

“Says the person who wants to be just like his dad when he grows up,” Derek points out.

Stiles stops laughing, but still has a smile on his face, and he looks like he is genuinely enjoying this conversation with Derek. Derek doesn’t see that look on people’s faces very often. “Touche,” Stiles concedes. “So I’ll be patient.”

“Doesn’t seem like that’s a common occurrence for you,” Derek comments.

Stiles shakes his head. “Nope, but I’ll be patient for you.”

Derek tries to not let that comment get to his head, but it does. In fact, it stays with him all through the night and well into the next day.

“Erica,” Derek almost whines, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t whine. “What does it mean?”

“What does what mean?” she asks, filing her nails as she leans against the counter in the back. She’s supposed to be helping stock the shelves with the goods Derek baked. He isn’t concerned, though, because she will do it before they open, and she arranges them so perfectly, so he doesn’t argue.

“What does it mean that he’ll be patient for me?” he asks her, already having given her a rundown of what’s been going on between Stiles and him.  

“I don’t know,” she says dryly. “Sounds like he’s got the hots for you.”

“What do I do about that?” Derek is a little out of practice. He probably hasn’t dated since college, and admittedly, it’s been a few years since then.

She shrugs and looks up at him, pulling her hair up into a ponytail that signals she’s about to get to work. “Ask him out,” she answers.

“It’s not that simple,” Derek argues.

“It’s not?” she asks, unconvinced.

He shakes his head. “He’s the sheriff’s son.”

“Wait, your neighbor is Stiles?” Erica asks, her face lighting up as she laughs. “Oh my god. Oh my god. You have the hots for Stilinski.”

Derek looks around, knowing no one is around, but he has to double check because no one can know he has the hots for Stiles. No one. “Not so loud,” he whispers.

She rolls her eyes. “No, this is way too funny. I used to have a crush on him in high school. Before I found Boyd.”

“Really?” Derek asks. “Is there a reason you stopped having a crush on him?”

She shrugged. “He didn’t ever notice me, then I met Boyd, and the rest is history.” She looks Derek in the eye seriously for a moment before speaking. “He’s a good guy, Derek, and he wears his emotions on his face. Be careful with him. For what it’s worth, I think he’d be good for you.” She pats his shoulder before she walks out to prep the display case.

Derek takes a deep breath to settle himself and think about everything. Yes, he’s into Stiles. Yes, Stiles is probably into him, but is he ready to further this?

For the first time in what seems like a week, Stiles doesn’t come that night. At all. Not even late at night to swim. Derek doesn’t want to admit that he misses him, but….well, Derek misses Stiles. Just a little bit.

The next day, Derek actually gets to sleep in since Boyd is handling the baking today. It’s such a nice feeling being able to sleep in. He misses it. In fact, he has the day off. He does have to stop by the bakery to make sure everything’s running smoothly, but other than that, he can relax today. No meetings, no phone calls to make. He wakes up when he wants to without an alarm and then goes for a run.

When he gets back from his run, there’s someone at his front door. Derek can easily tell it’s Stiles who is knocking on his door. “Derek?” he calls out. “Come on, I know you’re in there. Your car is outside.”

“I’m not in there,” Derek says, making Stiles jump.

Stiles turns around, holding a hand to his chest. “Jesus, you scared me.”

“I scared you. I don’t think Jesus did.”

Stiles rolls his eyes and then his eyes do a once over of Derek. “Did you go jogging?”

“Yes?” Derek says, confused because Stiles’ tone sounded accusatory.

“I swear to God,” Stiles mumbles angrily looking away. “Whatever. I’m here to give you my phone number.”

“Your phone number?” Derek asks.

Stiles nods. “My phone number. You know, so I can let you know if I’m coming over or not coming over.”

“Sounds good,” Derek is quick to say. He wouldn’t mind having Stiles’ phone number. Just in case.

They switch phones and enter each other’s number in the phone and then hand them back.

“Where were you last night?” Derek asks, trying to be subtle about his concern.

Stiles smirks. “You saying you missed me, big guy?”

“No,” Derek tells him firmly. “I was just wondering. Curious, you know.”

Stiles nods, but is smiling like he knows the truth. Whatever the truth is. “Sure. I went out with Scott and his fiancee. All last minute.”

“Did you have fun?” Derek asks.

“I did.” Stiles smiles and shakes his head. “So we still on for tonight?”

“Sure,” Derek agrees.

“What are you making?” Stiles asks.

Derek shrugs. “I was thinking of ordering in tonight. Give myself the day off from cooking completely.”

“Are you still okay if I come over? I can skip tonight.” Stiles looks worried that Derek might actually say no. Little does he know…

“Sure!” Derek is quick to answer enthusiastically to ease Stiles’ worry. “Does seven work for you?”

“Seven is perfect,” Stiles tells him with a smile.

“Then it’s a date.” Derek nods solemnly.

“Yeah,” Stiles says and then his eyes widen comically. “Wait. A d-date? Like an actual date or are you just using the expression?”

Derek takes a moment to think about it. “Uh, let’s make it an actual date. See where everything goes?”

“Yeah, yes, perfect,” Stiles says quickly. “Sounds great. See you at seven.”

[ridleymocki]

But I Was Rapt, Without A Name

Written for Pynch Week 17, Day 6. Prompt:  Fireflies // Language // Elements

Summary: There are some things about Adam Parrish that are still mysterious, even to his boyfriend. The way he can look at a mass of cards and find some sort of deeper meaning is among those things. Ronan's happy to learn, though.A cute hang out fic featuring guest appearances from the Gangsey, and entirely too much coffee drinking.

Notes: Guuuuuys, I’m really starting to feel the strain of this challenge, this was so goddamn hard. But when I think of ‘Elements’ I think of tarot cards, and how reading TRC actually finally made me study them and how to read with them, after years of idle fascination. Add the need for some actual plot and you get patient tutor Adam with hopelessly in love and attentive Ronan. Title is from 'Sirensong' by The Cure, which is an awesome freaking song and an awesome band, honestly.Thank you a whole great big awful lot for reading! And I hope you enjoy it <3

also on ao3

“You bring those everywhere with you now, Parrish?” Ronan stepped onto the back porch and smiled down at Adam where he sat, legs crossed on the wooden decking. Around him were cards. Lots of them. It wasn’t quite the multi-deck spread that could take over a whole table at 300 Fox Way, but it was complex in a way Ronan couldn’t understand, arcing around where Adam sat.

 “Yeah, pretty much” Adam said. He returned Ronan’s smile, so at least he knew he wasn’t intruding. “They help. It’s like free therapy.”

 Ronan quirked a brow and dropped down to sit next to him, handing over a coffee cup, its steam catching the yellow light from inside. “Sounds weird.”

They heard Blue yell out from inside the house, “Hey losers! You watching with us or what?” Adam snorted and shook his head.

 “No,” Ronan called back. “Don’t do anything gross on my couch!” And quieter he grumbled, “they probably will now, damn it.”

 Adam chuckled lowly, “You gave them ideas. Rookie mistake.”

 After Ronan had updated the living room to include an obnoxiously large television and home cinema system, and after the threesome of ambiguous relationship that was Blue, Gansey, and Henry had returned from South America, movie night inexplicably became a regular occurrence. They’d been watching the same show for four hours – some quirky sci fi thing that made Gansey happy because it was set in Wales, and made Blue happy because it had a female lead – but Adam had ducked out twenty minutes ago, and with him went half of Ronan’s interest.

 “So how’s this supposed to therapise you?” Ronan nudged his chin at the cards spread before them. He could see Adam physically bite back the that’s not a word, and smirked.

 “Do you really want to know?” Adam said, and Ronan nodded, immediately giving him his full attention. Adam was sometimes reluctant to go on about things that genuinely interested him, worried that it gave other people too much power. He preferred deep conversations on topics from which he was personally detached, because then at least if someone disagreed, it didn’t feel like rejection. But Ronan had been sure to show him from day one of their relationship that he didn’t have to worry about that, here. Adam gave him a small smile. “Well, tarot cards don’t always show the future. They show you possibilities. You ask them a question and they give you one possible answer. It’s when you analyse the answers the cards give you, and how they fit with you and how you react to them, that you get insight. So like–“ he reached out and tapped a card at the top, at the far edge of the spread– “the Three of Cups. I asked what I needed to focus on and this is what they said.”

 Ronan leaned over and looked at the card. Three women in long dresses seemed to circle around each other, each had a goblet in her hand that was raised joyously above their heads as though making a toast. “They want you to focus on getting drunk?”

 Adam punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Asshole,” he said to Ronan’s grin. “Look, to me anyway, it’s referring to stuff like tonight, with everyone here.” He looked at Ronan uncertainly, but was encouraged by whatever he found in his face. “There are hundreds of interpretations of every card. For a lot of people they’re as subjective as Rorschach paintings. But for me the Three of Cups has always been about the three women being friends, you know? They’re together, they’re in harmony. And they’re happy. They’ve reached a point where things are good and they can celebrate. So I see it and I think of all of us here, of how good things are. So I should focus on that, on friends and hanging out together. I agree with that card being there because it feels true, for me. But maybe I wouldn’t have made that conscious choice unless I did the reading.”

 Ronan nodded, but honestly he was surprised. “That’s a hell of a lot more rational than the way the witches do it.”

 Adam grimaced. “Yeah well, they’ve got a better connection to time than I have. When they get an answer it’s definite. But with Cabeswater gone it’s harder for me to do it like that.”

 “So you’re just going to be a nerd about it instead?” He nudged Adam’s shoulder, going for levity to get that sad little frown off his face. Cabeswater’s absence was something they all felt. Ronan was working on it. Gratifyingly, Adam stuck his tongue out at him, and laughed into his coffee cup.

 “You wouldn’t think it, but yeah.” He said eventually. “You can actually nerd out about this stuff. Tarot is… complicated. Systematic.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Mhmm. I mean, look.” He pointed to a card labelled ‘The Fool’. “This is the first card in the deck, but it’s an outlier, that’s why it’s marked with a zero. From there you get the twenty-one majors. They show what the Fool has to go through and deal with in life, the kind of stuff everyone has to deal with; fear, imbalance, moral principles. Tarot is a universal narrative, that way. Then you have four suits, all with their own meanings and elements, all with ten pip cards and four court cards. The Aces are the pure energy of the element of that suit, the rest of the pips are different possibilities, and the courts are like characterisations for how those elements work.” Adam turned to check he was still listening, and caught Ronan looking at him heavily.

 Ronan listened alright, thought that if he were in a room crowded with raucous people and Adam began to talk, he’d still hear it. But he loved Adam like this, loved his brain and the way it worked to push him ever forward and above everyone else. When Adam let him have a glimpse inside his mind, it was only understandable that Ronan would take a long look. The way his eyes sparked with knowledge pulled at him more than Ronan could explain.

 Adam raised a judgemental brow at him, smirking, and Ronan cleared his throat. “Elements?”

 Adam frowned for a moment before recalling what he’d been saying. “Oh. Yeah. Wands are fire, and represent creativity–“ he pointed to a card, then another, each one featuring the symbol he explained– “Swords are air, and represent the intellect, rationality. Cups are water, they’re about emotions; how you contain them or how they overflow. And pentacles, or coins, they’re earth. That’s about resources, usually material ones.”

 “Right, okay. And that all makes sense? When you do a reading like this?” he gestured to the general sprawl of cards before them, probably half the deck laid out on the wood.

 “More or less.”

 Ronan hummed, and drank his coffee, aware that Adam was watching him, mouth turned up at the corners. He didn’t know why so many of their conversations felt like this; like resting something on the edge of a table and watching it teeter. They were always on the edge of something. “Am I anywhere down there?” He nodded to the spread.

 He’d meant it teasingly, but Adam suddenly looked a little nervous. He waved at a set of three cards at the lower right edge of the layout, set side by side. “Well, this is your bit.”

 “I get a whole bit? What about me don’t you know, Parrish?” He tore his gaze away from Adam’s face and actually inspected the cards. Ronan felt something unpleasant unfurl in his stomach when he saw what must have given Adam that look. The cards in the middle and on the right seemed unassuming enough. Blue skies in the background, just ordinary scenes. But on the far left–

 “The Devil?”

 Two nudes were chained to a post, demonic tails curling beside them. Above them sat a rotund, goat-horned demon, wings like a bat’s and an inverted pentagram upon his head. The background was black and the demon wielded a lit baton like a bludgeon.

 “Don’t freak out.” Adam rested his fingers against Ronan’s wrist, curling them against his vulnerable veins. “It’s not bad.”

 Ronan looked at him skeptically. “It fucking looks bad.”

 “No, okay. I laid out those three cards to mean past, present, and future. The Devil’s in the past–“

 “Great. So I only used to be Satan.” If he sounded childish he didn’t care. There were some nights he wondered about he and Adam, the intrusive whisper in his thoughts that Adam could do better, that Ronan was bad for him at best and downright corrosive at worst.

 “Fuck. No.” Adam scrubbed a hand through his hair. “The Devil isn’t literally the devil, or any devil. It’s just– It’s temptation... Pure freaking temptation.” He was avoiding Ronan’s eyes. On impulse, or maybe just intuition, Ronan reached out and passed the back of his finger down Adam’s cheek. Adam startled, turning to him in confusion, but not quick enough. His cheek was hot. “I wanted you for a long time,” Adam said lowly, after a moment. “Even when I didn’t realise. And then when I thought it was dangerous for me.”

 Ronan didn’t know what to do with that, the words ‘a long time’ rang again and again in his head and he wanted to throw something. “What changed?” Because something had to have changed.

 Adam shrugged. “Eventually I knew better.” He smiled when Ronan just raised a brow, uncomprehending. “You’re an asshole, but you’re good for me. I like being with you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

 When Ronan had stepped out the back door earlier and joined Adam out here, he hadn’t been counting on this. He would’ve been happy to lie down nearby and hear the buzz of summer’s insects, leaving Adam to do his thing. Now that he’d heard those words pass Adam’s lips, he couldn’t go back. The sense that he was on borrowed time evaporated, the future spreading out instead.

 As he stared, struck dumb, Adam’s smile grew wide and he leaned forward to press their foreheads together. Ronan let out a long breath. “Fucking hell.” Adam just hummed.

 “Do you want to know the rest?” Adam asked after a minute. Ronan nodded, and Adam kissed him softly for a moment before pulling away and downing the rest of his coffee, long since cold.

“Alright, so in the past I was lusting after you, or whatever.” He looked infinitely pleased at Ronan’s helpless laugh. “In the present, you’re the Two of Cups.” This card looked markedly more pleasant. Two people stood opposite one another beneath a lion’s head with wings, and clinked their goblets together. It looked like a bright day, blue sky and vivid colours. “This basically means that you’ve made a connection with someone complimentary to you. Me, I would assume. It’s the card of a good beginning, a good relationship.”

 “Are you sure that one bit cardboard is telling you that?” Ronan teased.

 “Hey, that’s just what it means. If I happen to agree that’s neither here nor there.” He reached and ran his hand up and down Ronan’s thigh, a touch just for the sake of touching. “And this one, in the future spot: Temperance. I don’t know if it’s about you or about us but Temperance is all about balance. It means that you’ll get what you need but it won’t be spoiled by being too little or too much. It’s a healthy card, peaceful. That’s what you have to look forward to.”

 “Huh,” Ronan was a little surprised. “That’s oddly optimistic.”

 “Like I said,” Adam leaned into him, “the cards just show you a possibility. If you decide you like it, it’s your sign to head towards it.”

 Ronan scoffed derisively, and shifted to loop his arm around Adam’s shoulder. Even in the still warm summer night, it was comfortable. “I could have told you I wanted this to go well even without the damn cards.”

 Adam smiled. “I know. Still, it’s nice to turn over a good card and realise for yourself how much you really want it.”

 Ronan didn’t say anything. It had only been a few months, but he’d bet good money on what they had. Or at least, on how far he was willing to go to keep it as good as it had been so far. There was something enduringly right in being with Adam, and every hint he got that Adam felt the same was a clarion call to keep going. It would get difficult, of course, when Adam went away for college or when their interests pulled them in different directions. And they still had to deal with the issue of Ronan’s dreaming and what to do about their burnt up magic forest. But in the middle of it they were good. The fact that Adam had even set out a card for the future, and indirectly shown he counted on having one that included Ronan, was big enough that as they lapsed into silence, Ronan felt uncommon contentment well in his chest and settle there.

 “Are you doing gross things on the porch!?” Henry suddenly yelled out, shattering the silence, and poked his head out the living room window. “We’re going to start a game of Twister, you want in?”

 “Fuck no,” Adam called back immediately, making Ronan laugh. Henry grinned wide at him, then seemed to take in their current position – Adam’s hand on his thigh, Ronan’s arm curled around him – and his smile grew softer before he ducked back into the house.

 Ronan turned his head and pressed a kiss to his hair, his hand finding Adam’s and linking their fingers.

 The back door burst open and Blue crooked her head cheerily around the frame. “Come on, assholes. You had all summer to be all over each other, come hang out.”

 “In a minute,” Adam said airily, and Blue made a disgusted noise at them, rolled her eyes and went back into the house.

 Faintly they could hear her say, “They’re too busy sucking face and sighing. Dammit Gansey! Left foot on red!”

 “I don’t even have to say anything now,” Ronan said quietly. “You’re sending everyone away before I can.”

 Adam sighed. “We should go in. They just got back. But I don’t want to, yet.”

 Ronan rubbed his hand up and down Adam’s arm. “Then what do you want?”

 Adam sat up and looked him, his gaze dark and sparking, and Ronan had to resist the urge to swallow down his want. In a second, his empty coffee cup was being gently taken out of his hand and set aside. Ronan barely had time to look up before Adam’s lips were on his.

 This wasn’t the kiss of familiarity he’d gotten just before. This was hungry. This was a you feel too good not to touch kiss. A stay close to me kiss. An I’m not going anywhere kind of kiss. Adam’s ridiculous hands came up to cradle his face, like he needed to feel him under his palms to know this was real. Ronan wrapped his arms around him and pulled Adam close, and they fell back to lie on the wood, Adam sprawled over him as their mouths worked.

 Time must have passed but Ronan couldn’t have said how. When they parted, lips red and breaths heavy, Adam’s thumb was still running over his cheek, passing back and forth.

 Ronan cleared his throat. “So how often do you do tarot readings?”

 Adam began to laugh uncontrollably, shaking over him, and Ronan caught his face to bring their mouths together again.

 (They went back inside twenty minutes later with their cheeks red and hands clasped. Ronan carried their cups while Adam grasped the cards they’d eventually piled back together. Gansey looked at them fondly, even where he was contorted with Henry on the Twister mat. Blue threw a pillow at them, just so they knew she was happy for them.)

[glossyfincher]

Unspoken jealousy

Prompt: “could you do yousef being jealous of isak”

Summary: Yousef didn’t even want to got this party. He didn’t feel good about it. It was too big, too loud… He hoped seeing Sana would make him feel better. The thing is, she was already busy. 

It was a friday night. Earlier in the day, Eva had sent Adam a text telling him that the whole squad could come at a party tonight. From what Yousef had understood, a friend of hers was organizing it and there were supposed to be people who had already graduated from Nissen. Since they had nothing planned for the night, the guys accepted to come right away.

Yousef was more reserved. He was tired, and he didn’t really want to party right now. All he wanted to do was go home and watch a movie or sleep. But the guys all urged him to come : « the party seems awesome » they had said.

Yeah, it seemed like a big party where they didn’t know anyone and everyone would look at them as if they were intruders or thieves. Yousef always felt like he was the only one to think about this stuff. After all, they didn’t know Eva’s friends, and from what he knew about her, she was a rich white girl living in a rich white neighborhood. And rich white neighborhoods weren’t always the most welcoming when it came to people like his friends and himself.

Anyway, it appeared he didn’t really have a choice. That’s how he found himself walking towards a big white house he didn’t know on a friday night, sipping on an energy drink Mikael and him were sharing.

The thing that comforted him was that Sana was probably going to be there. She was going to be there, and he knew she would feel excluded too, because he noticed. He noticed how she at him sometimes and he felt like she understood how he was feeling, not even needing words. He knew that just looking at her would make him feel better about his night, and he would go home feeling at least a little bit better.

When they finally arrived, Adam sent Eva a text in which he asked her to come down and welcome them so that they wouldn’t look like they were just disturbing the party. There were quite a lot of people smoking and drinking beers outside. It seemed like the house was overflowed by students. Both Eva and Noora appeared at the door at some point, smiling. They welcomed them in and introduced them to the host of the party, a boy named Chris who used to go to Nissen. While his friends went and tried to cross the crowd in the main room, Yousef stayed and chatted for some time with Chris and Eva who seemed pretty close for what the girl had called a « friend ». His host was actually pretty charming, even though his ego appeared to be pretty big and his hand glued to Eva’s butt.

Yousef escaped by telling them he had to go to the bathroom, which he did. The relative silence of the first floor was great, and for a few seconds he considered staying there until someone noticed he was gone, but he didn’t.

He still didn’t feel good about this night. He had read about social anxiety before and what he felt right now seemed pretty close to that. Yoused inhaled and exhaled slowly a few times and got out of the bathroom. He needed to talk to someone he knew and felt like he just needed support, any kind of it. He tried to regain his composure while walking down the stairs. Noticing a door (probably the kitchen) in one corner of the room he walked in, Yousef walked straight to it. He wanted a fresh drink, something that would cool him down.

He pushed the door open. Biting one of his finger nails, he entered the room, expecting to find one or two couples making out against the kitchen island. All he found was a boy talking to Sana. Suddendly all he heard around him was white noise. They both looked so into their conversation that Yousef didn’t want to interrupt. Making as little noise as possible, he closed the door behind him, still looking at them.

Sana was apparently laughing at something he’d just said. Yousef didn’t know how to feel, really. He wasn’t expecting this at all. Seeing Sana laughing made him feel good inside, but the fact that it wasn’t him making her happy made him mad in a way. They seemed to know each other really well. He’d never seen the blond boy around, and he realized that he really didn’t know much about Sana’s life. He knew her face features by heart, the way she dressed, the way she talked to her brothers and parents. He gleaned information here and there, and the little things she said or let out when he was around her were the only facts he knew bout her. Not that Yousef was a stalker or anything, but hearing about Sana was always something he loved. Every little thing he learnt about the girl was a clue to break the mystery that he felt had always surrounded her.

She was impressive and pretty in her own way. Delicate and strong, always trying to be right and always fighting to be. Yes, Yousef found Sana fascinating. And he liked her. He liked how she made him feel, and how in one look she could make him uncomfortable or happy or angry. He liked how everytime she walked in on him in their kitchen, she tried to make him feel at home, just because she knew his fucked up parents were the reason he was always there. He liked Sana. That was a fact he couldn’t deny to himself. However, he apparently didn’t know her that well.

She was talking when the boy raised his head and saw Yousef. Sana kept on talking, which wasn’t really usual to him : when he was around, she always seemed to be very quiet and when she talked, she chose her words well enough not to have to talk for too long.

Yousef looked at the boy with a blank expression on his face, trying to seem totally normal and at ease in this situation. The thing was, he just wanted to know who the guy was. What were they talking about exactly ? Why did Sana seem so happy around him ? Why was she talking so much ? Yousef was jealous. He just wanted to be in this guy’s place. He wanted her to notice him, to talk to him, to laugh at his jokes. But she wasn’t. Honestly, he didn’t want to be mad, because he wasn’t supposed to be. Yousef should have been happy for her. He tried, he really tried for a moment.

After a few seconds of Isak looking at him, Yousef decided that if he really wanted to seem normal, he had to just take a soda in the fridge and walk away. That’s what he did, but before he even tried to go back in the main room, he heard :

-Hey, I’m Isak !

The words were loud in the almost empty kitchen, and obviously directed at Yousef. Before he could really think, Yousef’s body turned around to face the couple. Sana looked at him with a raised brow, and Isak was holding out his hand to him. Yousef shook the boy’s hand.

-Hi, I’m Yousef, he said calmly.

-Yeah, Yousef is one of my brother’s best friends ! Sana said in a cheerful and unusual way.

He frowned before trying to smile to Isak. There was a blank and Yousef looked at Sana, kind of expecting her to tell him who Isak was.

-Oh, sorry… Yousef, this is Isak, a friend of mine.

Had she just tried to clearly state that he wasn’t her friend and that Isak was ? Sana and him were both looking at each other in a weird way, as if they were trying to talk only with their eyes. Yousef looked away, sipping on his drink.

-Okay, I’m just gonna go, sorry for the trouble…

He’d said that before taking a step to go back into the living room. Once again, before he could do anything else, he felt someone lightly grabbing his arm.

-No worries, man ! I was leaving anyway, Isak said, apparently looking expectantly at Sana.

Yousef looked at the girl who seemed shy all over again. Silence surrounded them. She took a sip of her coke before putting her left hand in her pocket.

-Do I… Do we make you nervous ? Yousef asked, all of a sudden, really wondering about her sudden change of behavior.

-What ? Wh… No. No, you don’t. Why would you ask me that ? Sana answered.

Yousef had obviously noticed her trying to get a hold of herself mid-sentence. He smiled lightly.

-Because you seemed cheerful and loud a minute ago, and now you’re all shy and quiet… I feel like you’re not comfortable around us… Or maybe around me, I don’t know.

There was a blank between them, and Sana looked at her feet as if they were the most fascinating thing she’d seen all day. She seemed to have lost her ease. He looked down at her and hesitated for a while before putting a hand on her arm in an attempt to comfort her.

-I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… I just… I was just wondering.

She looked at his hand on her arm before raising her eyes and looking at him. He let his hand fall to his side.

-It’s okay, it’s just… Isak is one of the few friends i can talk about anything with, and he makes me laugh.

-Oh okay, so you guys aren’t… Yousef wondered innocently, praying for her to understand what he meant.

-Dating ? No, never ! Isak’s not…

She took a moment to think about the end of her sentence as Yousef took a sip of his drink again, frowning.

-He’s not my type, she said with a little smile.

-No ? He inquired.

-No, Sana answered.

Yousef was so glad she said no, he almost hugged her. Instead he just took a step towards her. She looked at him : his nose, and then his jaw, and then she went back to his eyes. Her gaze on him was all wonder and attention, as if he was a curiosity of some sort, as if she was looking at him for the first time. The thing was, they’d known each other for years. It just was the first time they looked at each other so closely. She took a sip of her coke again, a smile in her eyes. He genuinely smiled back at her.

-So what were you and your friend Isak talking about anyway ? He asked, finally.

-Oh, just a stupid movie…

-Oh yeah ? I know a lot about movies… Yousef said, ironically arrogant.

-Oh really ? Tell me about High School Musical 2, then ? she asked in an ironic way, her smile spreading to her whole face.

-Oh no…

And she laughed. Sana laughed to his reaction, and Yousef laughed to, simply because he was happy to make Sana Bakkoush smile.

note: I trully hope you enjoyed this one ! it was supposed to be a prompt… I love Yousef and Sana so much you can’t even imagine. If a muslim reader has something to say/to comment//to remind me, i will gladly accept and listen ! Not being a muslim myself, i try to be respectful. If i’m not, please let me know :) Thank you for reading, if you have any prompt idea for me to write, don’t hesitate to submit them !

[flutegirl0422]

Songs Jared Kleinman Thinks Are Legitimately Romantic - Part 8

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | playlist

8. Never Gonna Give You Up

Alana sat at her vanity putting on her makeup. If someone had told her a year ago that she’d be preparing to go to prom and that she was going with someone (specifically a boy someone), she never would have believed it. But here she was, getting ready for what would supposedly be the best night of her life.

“So,” said Jared, driving her home from school one afternoon. “Did you see they put up posters for prom today?”

“I did. To be honest, though, I’m generally disillusioned with most school dances, seeing that they uphold patriarchal traditions and impose strict gender norms on a society that no longer has much use for them.”

“Let me guess: you’re also opposed to Sadie Hawkins dances because even though they flip the script on the patriarchal narrative, the fact that we have to make a special event where that’s okay is part of the problem.”

She stared at him.

“Well?” He asked after a few moments of silence. “Am I wrong?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jared could see her grinning. “You’re not.”

“I listen to you sometimes!” he said with a smile. “Still, though, it’s prom. You must have enjoyed it last year.”

“I didn’t go last year. Not to the dance part, anyway. I just went to help set up.”

Jared slowed down as they approached a red light. “Really?”

“I mean, I didn’t have anyone to go with.”

“Neither did I, I still went last year.”

“With friends, right?”

Jared swallowed hard. “Honestly? No. I went alone.”  

“Not even with Evan?”

“Our parents tried to convince him to go but he was adamant about staying home. Something about sweaty hands.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It was worth it for the free food, though.”

She nodded.

He tightened his lips. “I have an idea.”

“What?”

“Why don’t we go to prom together?”

“You actually want to go to prom with me?” She felt a tightness in her chest, and she couldn’t help smiling a bit.

“I-I mean,” he stammered, “I need a witness if Sabrina Patel stuffs bacon wrapped dates into her purse again. No one believes me, but I swear it happened!”

Alana was brought back by a quick knock on her door. “Honey, you there?” Her mom came in and sat on the bed behind her.

“Hey, mom.” She turned around to see Mrs. Beck holding a long, slender box covered in blue velvet. “What’s that?”

“Well, since it’s your first dance I wanted you to wear something special.” She opened the box to reveal a delicate pearl necklace.

“Oh my gosh, Mom! It’s beautiful!”

Mrs. Beck motioned for her to turn around and unclasped the necklace. Putting it on, she said,  “I was waiting to give you this for graduation, but it’s not every day your daughter has her first date.”

“Hey!” Alana whirled around, trying to hide her embarrassment with anger. “I already told you this isn’t a date!”

“Honey, that boy has been sending you little love notes for weeks. And isn't that the song he keeps playing for you? A love song?” She pointed to the phone on the vanity which was playing Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Alana wasn’t sure if she actually liked the song or if she’d just given up hating it since Jared had sent her a link to it at least once a week since the Connor Project started. Today’s had been disguised as a makeup tutorial, and once it started she didn’t have the heart to stop it.

Pausing the video, Alana turned back to her mother. “It’s a meme, mom. It’s just a joke, he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just...being Jared.”

“You know, your father used to love to tease me, too, before we got together.”

Alana smiled politely, secretly seething. “Thank you for the necklace, mom, but please take your antiquated romantic advice out of here and let me finish getting ready.”

“Alright, dear.” Mrs. Beck winked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’ll let you be.”

It wasn’t often Alana got frustrated with her parents, but the pressure to be in a relationship on top of their high academic standards often proved to be a breaking point for her. The questions and jokes about when she was going to get a boyfriend or that any boy she spoke to was her secret crush felt like pin pricks, small enough to be relatively harmless if it weren’t for the fact that it seemingly never ceased. This time felt different though. This time there was a pit in her stomach, like when she was about to take a test or give a presentation The kind of nervousness that made her come alive. It was almost as though she wanted this to be a date. But she knew it wasn’t. He was just being a good friend, and she was just as glad for that as anything else.

As Alana finished putting on her shoes, she heard the doorbell ring. “I’ll get it!” her mother called.

Smoothing out her dress and checking her hair in the mirror one last time, she made her way to the front of the house. There stood Mrs. Beck, and behind her was Jared, still in the doorway. He wore an expression she couldn’t place, mouth slightly agape and cheeks flushed.

“You clean up nice,” she said. It was true. The tux aged him up some, and it’s stark contrast to his typically colorful wardrobe brought out his eyes. She hadn’t really acknowledged it before, but he was handsome in a way.

“You, too.” He cleared his throat. “Oh! I have something for you. For both of us.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back to reveal a corsage and a boutineer. The flowers were made from book pages and they both had an Evenstar pendant attached to them. “I had these made for us. My mom knows a guy…” He looked down. “I thought you might like these since you love Lord of the Rings so much.”

Alana nodded excitedly. “They’re awesome!” She paused for a moment and cocked her head. “But why? We aren’t—“

“Well,” he cut her off, running a hand through his hair, “it’s part of the experience, right?”

“That’s right!” Mrs. Beck chimed in. While Jared slipped the corsage onto her daughter’s wrist she gave Alana a smug look.

Thousands of pictures and one slightly awkward car ride later, the two had finally arrived at prom. Some Top 40 hit Alana couldn’t name blasted through the ballroom as hundreds of teens talked and danced in small groups. Flashing colored lights and a mirror ball had transformed the usually stodgy country club into a scene straight out of a teen movie.

“C’mon,” said Jared, “let’s dance.”

Tentatively, Alana joined Jared out on the dance floor. He moved to the beat of the music in a way that barely passed for dancing, but she could tell he was having a good time, so she did her best to keep up. He showed off his best moves, like the sprinkler and the running man. He also made an attempt at teaching her something called “flossing” when a Katy Perry song came on, but she almost injured him in the process, so they decided to take a break.

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she sat down at a table just outside the ballroom. She pushed several pairs of high heels out of their way. He sat next to her, rubbing his thigh and wincing.

“I’ll live,” he groaned. “Besides, is it really prom if you don’t come out of it with a crazy story? This’ll be mine. I’ll be at the pool over break and someone will ask how I got this bruise. I can say I was in an epic, life or death dance battle or something.”

Alana giggled. There he was, playing it off like he always did. Except he didn’t always play things off. Her mom’s voice rang in her ear, something about Dad teasing her early in their relationship. It struck Alana that her dad wasn’t much of a joker. Sure, he could get a laugh here and there, but his mom was certainly the more light-hearted of the two. Jared, on the other hand, was usually much harsher than this. If anyone else they knew had done what Alana just did, they would never hear the end of it. “Jared,” she asked, “why are you so nice to me all the time?”

He looked up at her. A crease formed between his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you treat me differently than other people. You’re...nice.”

His grimaced, his eyes practically screaming what the fuck?

“Not that you’re not a nice person!” she defended. “You are. Deep down. In your own way. But with me you’re more...forgiving. A lot more. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t understand. Why me?”

Even in the dim light, she could see his cheeks and his ears flush. “Well, shit.” He buried his face in his hands. “I should have known you were too smart to figure this out.”

“What do you mean I’m too smart? For what?”

“You keep that beautiful face of yours shoved in a book for so long you don’t see what’s right in front of you. I love that about you, by the way, but I knew I should have taken a more direct approach.”

“Jared, what the hell are you--wait did you just say I’m beautiful?”

“Yes, I did. Damn it, Alana, how can you not realize that I like you!” He said it a little too loudly, attracting stares and giggles from some of the neighboring tables. “Look, I’m not the best with this shit, okay? If it were anyone else I would have locked it all away forever until the feelings just died. At best there’d be a piss poor attempt at a few pick up lines. But you’re different. You’re better than that. Better than me.”

She frowned. How could he think that?

“I figured after graduation you’d go off to some fancy school and forget all about me, so I thought maybe I could show you a nice time tonight. Maybe I could pretend there’s something here before you go off and become the first female president or whatever. I know you’d never say yes if I asked you out for real, so I figured this was the next best thing.” He stood up. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you or fucked up your night. I’ll just--”

The next thing Alana knew, her lips were on his. Their noses collided a bit, causing Jared to pull away. He was redder than she’d ever seen him. They paused a moment before their eyes met and he kissed her back. This time it was soft, careful. He caressed her face like it was the most precious thing he’d ever held.

“Whoo, get some, Kleinman!” Jared and Alana jumped at the loud voice behind them. They turned around to see Matt Holtzer pumping his fist as he struggled to stay upright.

Jared nervously cleared his throat. “So, how drunk do you think he is?”

“Must be a lot for him to be talking to either of us,” she chuckled

The two of them  processing the last few minutes. They were still holding hands under the table and she instinctively rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. “I like you, too, by the way,” she finally said.

“Good,” he said with a cheeky grin, “because after a kiss like that, I’m never gonna give you up.”

[i-am-very-very-tired]

I spent a week swiping across London, Berlin, and Stockholm in search of new sights and city secrets known only to locals. But I ended up discovering a kind of romance I couldn't find at home. by Allison P. Davis London Jet lag and lukewarm offers. I’d been counting on Paul, a scuzzy-but-still-sexy manager of a music club in Shoreditch, to meet up with me on my first night in London. I’d been talking to him for a week, after I’d used the Passport option on Tinder to help plan my trip. Who needs guidebooks or Google when you can swipe before you go? (In addition to Paul, I’d also lined up a man in Berlin who knew where to find the best weed in Germany, as well as an artist in Stockholm who wanted to give me a museum tour and then draw me.) Unfortunately, Paul was “working late,” and asked me to come over to his flat to “smoke some weed and cuddle,” because obviously, I’d boarded a transatlantic flight to entertain the same lukewarm offers I did back in Brooklyn. As a result, I spent the first few hours of my London stay in the hotel restaurant trying to figure out what, exactly, to say to people in order to get them to meet up with me right away, on a Monday night. (“Sex?” usually works, but it wasn’t the desired rendezvous I was going for this evening.) I’ve used Tinder on and off since its second month of existence and I’ve never mastered the opening line. Come across too cheesy and nobody answers. Maybe it’s just me, but all of my opening lines—from pithy to perverted to pictorial—are usually a fast track to deafening silence and the occasional “unmatch.” I tried several: “Hi!” “Hello there!” “What’s Gucci?” “Help! I’m trapped on the London Eye and have no idea what to do!” And my go-to: waving-hand Emoji. My goal wasn’t to get laid—I was more curious to see what Tinder could offer a single traveling woman besides just convenient sex. There was an architect who didn’t respond to my “Looking for a tour guide, what should I do today?” Some other dude responded to my “You look fun, where should I go tonight?” with, “I don’t know, Soho?” A few people initiated with similarly bad lines like “:Emoji flower: :Emoji flower: :Emoji flower: here, I got you some flowers because you’re pretty!” I responded with “Would rather have an :Emoji beer:” which deftly ended the conversation. The sun was setting and I hadn’t done anything with my first day in London but nurse coffees in the lobby and swipe. And then I got a message from Adam.* “Where are you staying in London?” he asked. I told him the Ace Hotel Shoreditch, and he gave me a list of bars to visit and walks to take in the neighborhood. He lived nearby. He offered to escort me on any of these excursions. He was free that very night, right after work. I wasn’t exactly attracted to Adam, but I needed to get out of the hotel and do something. “And what do you do here? Working or studying?” I told him I was a writer, and he asked what I was writing about. “I’m writing about using Tinder. Do you still want to meet?” Silence for about twenty minutes—another conversation killer, I suppose. “I can meet in thirty minutes, but I haven’t shaved. And don’t use my real name, please.” I heard a story once about a coworker of a friend of a friend (so many degrees of separation that it might actually be an urban legend) who routinely went to Paris for work. Every time she went, she was so busy with market appointments that she rarely left her hotel room and never got to see the city. Around the third trip, her coworkers were so sick of watching her waste her days working and her nights eating room service, that they forced her to fire up Tinder, and found her a Frenchman who was willing to take her around the city for a day. A day turned into one, into two, then into three. Which eventually resulted in a New York visit a month later. It didn’t work out—he wanted to spend his entire trip inside her apartment watching Lord of the Rings instead of exploring the city—but that story illustrates why people use Tinder, even against their better judgment: rumored potential. This is despite the fact that it sometimes seems like there's one positive experience for every five hundred disturbing ones. As with all things Tinder-related, I tend to keep my expectations low. My experiences vacillate between easily accessible sex, hilariously bad dates (the stories we tell ourselves in order to keep from weeping into large pizzas on Sunday nights) and depressingly mediocre ones. I’ve also used it in travel situations—once in Costa Rica where the town was so small I ran out of people to swipe in twenty minutes. And most recently during a stint in L.A., where my bio read, “Here for a month, help me find the good tacos?” because I assumed the forced short-term dating would appeal to more men. What most of them found appealing was the chance to assert knowledge of any kind. After four weeks, I'd had few dates, but had eaten a lot of really excellent tacos. My goal wasn’t to get laid (though if the opportunity arose. . .)—I was more curious to see what Tinder could offer a single traveling woman besides just convenient sex. If I was lucky, maybe I’d have a good conversation with someone I would never otherwise have met, a meal at a restaurant I would have overlooked, in a neighborhood I might have neglected to visit, or a buddy to show me some wild underground party that I never would have been cool enough to discover—basically facilitating the other chief travel fantasy, experiencing a city as if it were your own. Tindering in the U.K. was exactly like Tindering in the U.S. except, like all things British vs American, it was slightly better mannered, and I didn’t recognize all the slang. Adam, true to his word, hadn’t shaved. He was also in a stained hoodie, a sign of low expectations—we matched in that respect—and he apologized for his appearance all through cocktails at Happiness Forgets, a highly rated basement cocktail bar that I’d passed three times without realizing it. We’d talked for hours—about his business (a bike shop with a second location on the way), about our love lives (he was recently out of a relationship, particularly liked meeting travelers), and about our sex lives. Adam was a perfectly satisfactory dinner companion, if not a bit damp and blandly lecherous (he revealed he had looked at my Instagram before we met and “really liked the photos of me in a bathing suit.”) And now, standing on the street corner, it was unclear how I was going to walk away from this without an awkward shutdown. “You know,” he said leaning in very close, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand, “if this were a date”—I’d been very clear that this was not—“if this were a date, at this point, after some nice drinks, a nice dinner, and you, a beautiful girl with your nice hotel room, I think this night would end with an invitation up.” I mumbled something about jetlag, early mornings, hairy legs that hadn’t been shaved since September, whatever it took, and it took a lot. “All right, well no romantic stuff, then? I don’t need to do the gentlemanly thing and walk you back to your hotel?” Before I could respond, he offered me a quick farewell, hopped on his bike, and rode off into the rainy night. On the flight over, an attractive drummer in a touring jazz band slid into the seat next to mine and immediately started flirting with me. “I hope you weren’t planning on going to sleep anytime soon, you should stay up and keep me company,” he said with a nudge. Getting picked up on the flight was sort of a Halley’s Comet of travel stories, so I was flattered—though less flattered at around hour two of him telling me how pretty I was while hogging the armrest and tapping my headphones every time he wanted to speak to me, which was frequent. Was this—fending off mildly flattering, mostly annoying advancements from men who I really didn’t want to sleep with—a sign of things to come? My second day in London, after I added “Brooklyn writer in town for a few days. Looking for places to eat, bars to dance in, and non-homicidal tour guides,” to my bio (normally, it reads “Looking for a partner in crime, you should be willing to help me hide the body.” ( I know.), it was raining notifications. I had hope. I Tindered my way through a Pop Art exhibit at the Tate Modern, shopping at Dover Street Market, and afternoon tea at Rochelle Canteen, but it was really all for nothing. By 6 p.m., I had a list of restaurants to try from Hamish, a chef who couldn’t meet, a follow-up from Adam (“I’ve never seen a room at the Ace....”), and an offer from Agoraphobic Paul to come over and “have a joint and a cuddle.” I’d confirmed a walking tour of Greenwich from Max, who ghosted. And I’d been stood up by Amit, who had offered to show me the non-touristy gems of Covent Garden, which I didn’t even want to do anyway, and so felt triply offended when he didn’t bother to let me know he wasn’t showing up. And then it happened. “Netflix and chill” happened. Someone asked me to Netflix and chill. To save my evening, I took myself to a Hamish-recommended restaurant and then for drinks at the hotel bar, where I chatted with a middle-aged Irish businessman. Then, having taken myself on such a nice date, I decided to extend an invitation to myself to go back to my hotel room by myself to “Netflix and chill,” with myself, when I got a message from Agoraphobic Paul letting me know he was off work. He offered to send an Uber to pick me up and deliver me to his “messy” apartment. I was mopey, but not that mopey, so I countered: “I’ll send a car to you. Why waste a hotel room?” The result of my counteroffer is between me, that dude, God, and the housekeeper. Awesome. I’d taken a transatlantic flight to discover that Tindering in the U.K. was exactly like Tindering in the U.S. except, like all things British vs. American, it was slightly better mannered, and I didn’t recognize all the slang. Brooklyn But wait—some context. Let me tell you a bit about my experience using dating apps here in Brooklyn, U.S.A., where I live. I use them all—Tinder, chiefly, but also Hinge, Bumble, Happn, Desperat*n ( I made that one up) 3nder, Flattr—and they are all swipes to nowhere. In boom times I experience a weak trickle of men; during drought, it’s like I’m in the dating version of The Martian—except Matt Damon did eventually receive messages from humans. And yes, while I said I wasn’t interested in using Tinder solely to find some lovin’ while I traveled, I obviously didn’t want to feel exempt from the possibility of finding my very own whirlwind romance. I’m human and I watch rom-coms. In my non-nomadic life, I usually do feel exempt from the same sorts of romantic experiences I hear about from people I know. It just seems so much easier for other people, because despite meeting all the baseline requirements for datability—no extreme body odor, I don’t kill small animals for fun and entertainment, I have great taste in music, know how to cook, am not a vegan—I barely date, even with every swipe-app in the app store loaded into my arsenal. Because in addition to all those things—clean, non-murderous, fun—I am a black woman, and here’s the unfortunate truth about being a black woman dating in America right now: we are considered the most undatable demographic. I am a black woman, and here’s the unfortunate truth about being a black woman dating in America right now: we are considered the most undatable demographic. In 2009, OkCupid crunched their data and released a pretty eye-opening report on race and dating in the States. After looking at who receives the most messages on the site, it is evident that love is not colorblind, race really does matter when it comes to love and dating, and attraction is driven by an unconscious racial bias (or even racism). When given the choice, people still prefer to be in relationships with people from their racial group. They broke down the numbers and found that Asian and white women receive the most messages, while Asian men and black women (Hi! That’s me!) receive the least messages of anybody, and practically nobody responds to their messages if they dare initiate a conversation. And it hasn’t gotten any better. In 2014, OkCupid looked at 25 million accounts active from 2009 to 2014 and found that ethnic preference is even more of a factor now. In other words, it’s actually gotten worse. And I get that online dating, well, really all dating, offers some form of suck for every single person who chooses to do it. I also know that perhaps the “black women are going to die alone” crisis is not so dire as we’ve been told—marriage rates are down regardless of race. But that’s the prevalent narrative right now, the one that’s beaten into my head every time I fire up Tinder. As a result, the more times I open my Tinder or OkCupid and see no matches or messages, the more messages I send that don’t get a reply, the more dates I go on in which I’m offered a fetishistic overture or told I’ve been asked out to “complete the rainbow” (a thing I’ve heard because people are monsters) or “tap my big booty,” (monsters), the more “undatable” becomes a core belief. Last year, I read an article about this group Black Girls Travel that organizes trips for women of color to encourage them to visit different countries. There was a quote from the founder, pulled from a YouTube video in which she said, “I have done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women in this country, and what I’m hearing is: You can’t find dates, you can’t find mates, you can’t find husbands.” She then encourages women to consider leaving the country to get a taste of love. (BGT even has a special tour of Italy, “Bella Italia,” that was organized on the principle that Italian men love black women. Not exactly a hook-up tour, but not exactly not one either.) And there are a whole bunch of articles that support this idea—that “plenty of fish” only applies to international waters, all with headlines like “Finding the Swirl in Sweden,” or “Is Europe the Promised Land for Black Women Looking for Love?” At the time, I found this ridiculous, absurd, more depressing than uplifting. The fact that I am considered so undesirable that I have to flee my homeland just to find someone to date me was total bullshit, I thought. It can’t really be so drastically different anywhere else. And then I went to Berlin. Berlin When it rains, it pours. In Berlin there were lunch conversations and walks around museums and late-night drinks and Afghani restaurants in dodgy parts of the city that will be very cool in five years. There were more Tinder messages than I’d seen in four years of usage from people who actually wanted to meet up within a reasonable amount of time. I don’t think I spoke to anyone unless it was through my smartphone, and I definitely was getting “text neck” from stooping my head to read all of my incoming messages. And so many of them began with “You’re gorgeous!” and other things I realize I love hearing. I’m not even bragging—I mean, I am, but leave me alone. This was a rare and delightful experience for me, don’t ruin it. Because Berliners as a people are culturally nach unten zu ficken, there was Florian, who, in addition to recommending I go to the Helmut Newton museum, assured me he was “big for a German,” (don’t insult your people, Florian); a couple who propositioned me for a threesome; Philip, who could never meet but sent me a text every day to see if I was properly touring Berlin and make some suggestions about where to eat. He was like an on-demand travel guide—at one point his itinerary included mutual masturbation via iMessage, which I declined. This is going to sound weird, but none of it felt disrespectful or fetishizing. I got the sense that these guys would perv on anyone, and in some way, being included in all the brat-talk felt like the real definition of dating equality. I met up with Simon, a carpenter who loved to skateboard and spoke very rusty English to complement my nonexistent German. When we arrived at the bar, the place was closed for a premiere party, to which I assumed he’d been invited. We exchanged hellos, then I charged the door. He assumed I was adventurous, and we spent 20 minutes with me trying to crash the party and him trying to get me to stop trying to crash the party. It was a great icebreaker—because dating with a language barrier renders you almost personality-less. Maybe Simon was funny, maybe he was brilliant, but because he could only speak English at a second-grade level, it was hard to pick up on the nuances. This awkward moment was sort of like Esperanto; even without a common language, we could still have a few hours of fun in a smoky bar in Kreuzberg. Also, listing all the reasons you find someone attractive is a good way to bridge the gap between cultures—Simon had difficulty with a lot of words, but his English was just good enough that he could find several ways to compliment my looks. And, unfortunately, offend me. At around beer number two, as I was telling Simon about my brothers, he asked if they “wore saggy pants, like thugs.” I tried to explain why I was leaving in anger. “Allison, you’re mad? I can fix, let me fix,” he said. He then held out his face waiting for me to kiss him, lips pursed, eyes open, nodding to indicate that I should put my face on his. While I was processing what the hell he was expecting, he went in for the kill, and then messaged me about eight times the next day, hoping we could meet again. I would not consider Simon a success. But Kim was. I liked him for abstract reasons, like the way he got really, genuinely excited when he told me about swimming with sharks while working as a diving instructor in Indonesia before starting graduate school, his long messy hair, and his big broad smile that matched his big broad shoulders. We shared hours of great conversation and a lot of cheap beer, and when he walked me back to the Metro, it took about eight of my steps to match one of his long, serious strides. The next afternoon, he sent me a text apologizing for having to leave so early that morning—he was traveling—and reminded me to sample the local specialty, currywurst, which he meant literally and not in the Florian sense, I think, though I would have welcomed the innuendo. Stockholm Best date ever? Maybe it was the residual shine of confidence from my Berlin experience, but I got my swirl on in Stockholm. It was like Stockholm was my own personal boyfriend store and it was stocked with Viking men available for me to pick off the shelves and take to various bars and restaurants. I was, as Beyoncé says, feelin’ myself in Sweden, which gave me the confidence to walk out on two shitty dates, because who has time for Merton, an obnoxiously wealthy banker who was obsessed with Southern hip-hop and asked me to twerk for him, and Omar, who didn’t notice me notice him remove his wedding ring while I went to get our coffees. In international markets, my stock was a hot-seller—I wasn’t letting just anyone buy in. I wish I could explain what was going on, exactly. Part of it was me: my abundance of dates no longer made me the downtrodden singer of the can’t-get-a-date blues—subconsciously, knowing you are wanted makes you behave in a different, more appealing way. Also, I suspect traveling forces you to be freer and lighter and more willing to take risks in general. And I know racism exists in Sweden and Germany, but it’s a different sort of systemic racism, I guess. In a Buzzfeed article about Tinder and racial preference, Anne Helen Peterson notes that race is also seen as a marker for class, which also plays into rejection—that wasn’t really a factor in Stockholm. Neither were the average and accepted American standards of beauty, even though Sweden is the origin point for the All-American Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes thing. It didn’t seem to matter that I was several standard deviations away from that. Being black didn’t have the same connotation as it does back home. I never really felt fetishized, I never got the “I’ve never seen a black woman, let me touch your hair” vibe, it was more just like, “Hi, attractive person, let’s do this.” I never got the “I’ve never seen a black woman, let me touch your hair” vibe, it was more just like, “Hi, attractive person, let’s do this.” Whatever was in the water, it resulted in what I can say was the best date of my life. When I am old and boring, I will look back on this night and think: “I ruled.” Odel*, a bassist in a band, invited me to get drinks and then come to his gig at Debaser, a popular venue in Hornstull. He failed to mention that his band was opening for a sold-out show for the famous indie darling Bob Hund, so the night which I assumed would be me pretending to like some crappy band at a dank music venue turned into drinking free beers backstage and making out with Odel in the wings. It was great. So great, in fact, that I almost missed my flight back to the States the next morning. If I had, no big deal. I was prepared to move to Stockholm anyway. Brooklyn In conclusion: I am not invisible. In the same way some people travel to help inspire a creative bout, or to reassess their lives, or to get in touch with their spirituality, it turns out my week abroad unexpectedly turned into a sort of sexual sabbatical—a way to remind myself that I am fuckable—not invisible, not exempt from a narrative of desire just because OkCupid data indicated that I am in the least desirable group of daters. After eleven dates in three cities over a week, I’m still e-mailing Odel and Kim and have stopped bothering to use dating apps in the U.S. It’s nowhere near as magical. Though I fully intend to re-download it when I head to South America this spring. Allison P. Davis lives in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared in New York, Wired, GW, Elle, and on The Cut, where she’s a Senior Writer. Unfortunately, she has downloaded Tinder again. *Name has been changed.

[itdisneymatter]

Day 14 - Cirque Du Soleil

TLDR: Mum and dad left today so said our goodbyes and headed to the Shopping Malls. Picked up another few games for myself and the boys and Ann finally got her new Apple watch. Home and ready for tonight star attraction - Cirque Du Soleil. An absolutely fantastic show and one of the best attractions Ive ever been to here in Orlando. Thunder and Lightning loomed as we headed for dinner, which ended up being The Olive Garden. Great Italian and extremely reasonable too! Winner winner, chicken dinner (I did actually have the chicken as it happens).

Shopping for the bazillionth time

So not much in terms of plans for the am. Parentals were heading back home today so met up with them in the morning to say cheerio and give them my old laptop to take home (which is technically now my dads anyway). After that we headed off to the Florida Mall again to visit some additional Games shops for the boys (and me) and see what last minute things we could pick up. There are two Gamestops which are just like what Game is in the UK and they picked up another few games including Dishonored II, The Borderlands Collection and the new Crash Bandicoot for PS4 (which we all agreed to chip in for as it was a 'family' game). We then stopped for a bite to eat at a New York Pizza Deli, which was technically breakfast (my Starbucks Energy Coffee doesn't count), before continuing to peruse around the shops. Then it appeared in all its magical glory - The Apple Store. Dun dun dun! Almost like all other Apples stores really, however on this particular day we had a sole purpose - to get Ann an Apple Watch. You see, I picked up mine about a week or so ago and while Ann was meant to do the same, she hesitated and wanted to see how it performed before taking the leap. After I wouldn't stop going on and on about mine she finally decided on getting one at some point, so seeing the store just confirmed it. She went for a rose gold (read pink) number and as youre paying the same in dollars here as you are in pounds in the UK, its saves quite a bit. Never mind all the smart tech-y stuff it can do though, she just wanted it for the Minnie clock-face! :P Patrick really had been wanting to go to the bookstore since he got here, to look at comics and stuff (though he has amassed quite a collection already), but we had to postpone it again to get home and changed in time for our Cirque Du Soleil booking later in the day. He wasn't too pleased we had changed our minds yet again but did leave us with today's Fun Fact:

The first ever Superhero in a DC comic was Superman and made his debut in Action Comics #1

All ready to take a whole load of photographs at tonights event: La Nouba at Cirque Du Soleil in Disney Springs, I was informed that no photography or videotaping was allowed. We took our seats at pretty much floor level, 3 rows from the stage and settled down with some popcorn (and a beer for me) to enjoy some awesome entertainment. I'd been wanting to see a Cirque Du Soleil performance for years and the tickets became available through our ticket supplier so we jumped on it. The show was spectacular and in the end glad that I wasn't photographing as I got to enjoy the whole spectacle in its entirety (ok, maybe I was still a wee bit sad). From clowns to high wire acrobats to little girls performing unbelievable tricks with Diabolos, it had everything! It was truly amazing and something Ill never forget for a very long time. Highly recommended.

Now the plan was that after we finished La Nouba, we would head to Magic Kingdom to get in the evening shows (of which there were three). As we didn't manage to fit in any dinner, we though the best option would be to go grab a bite to eat instead and hit the park again on another night. Five minutes after leaving we knew we made the right decision - we were being chased by some very angry thunderclouds (like literally, in front of us was a nice orange sunset sky and behind us was nearly pitch black with flecks of white shooting across the sky every so often). It was pretty late for dinner so it was really busy everywhere and after being turned away from Chilli’s we thought it was a lost cause. We decided to try the Olive Garden as that was on our to-do list and we hadn't ever visited (apparently the bread-sticks were awesome). It was pretty much right next to our hotel so we thought we give it a go. We were told about a 20-30 min wait, which wasn't too bad so sat back down to look at the menu. Now this is where things get interesting, drinks while you were waiting were half price. As Ann was driving I went up and got me a wee Sam Adams and glass of Pinot Noir. It was 6 bucks for both! Hey man, I'll just wait for a few hours for my table if that's an option!!! Sadly, after exactly 20 minutes we were shown to our table. Chicken Parmigiana for me, Seafood Pasta for Ann (again she had the better looking meal), and the kids went for a mixture of Make Your Own Pasta (a great invention) and Chicken Strips. Ours also came with a huge salad, soup and the supposed-to-be-amazing bread-sticks (which were amazing). The food was excellent and the kids for once cleared all of the their plates -- mostly. And then we got hit with our bill - the cheapest we'd actually paid for an evening meal this entire holiday - why oh why weren't we here sooner???

A short trip back to the hotel and the rain had stopped thankfully. Early-ish to bed tonight for the little ones as we have a full 13hr day ahead of us tomorrow at Hollywood Studios! And to make up for the lack of photos (and to create an icon for my post), here’s a wee pic of Gracie tonight - prior to her spilling marinara sauce all over her nice new dress :P